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sixthwater · 7 months

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Back with another yearly review! This time it's just seeing how the beginning of your year went vs where you are now. This is mainly for those who aren't sure if they've made any progress, or to see what lessons you've learned. Maybe to check what the theme of this year was? Either way, it's difficult to see where your tracks begin and end when you're the one walking the path, right?

Left → Right / Pile 1 → Pile 4)

Decks Used: Archetype Cards, Animal Spirits, Rider Waite, Sacred Creators Oracle, Fairies Oracle Deck

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Pile One

Beginning of Year

Cards: Virgin, Zebra, IV of Swords Rx, Shift, Sacred Treasure

Very straight-forward! In the beginning of the year there was a lot of external energy present; you had a new beginning or you were very open to a lot of new experiences. I’m not getting a change in mindset because this feels more action oriented, but it’s like being very excited and rejuvenated to try new things and get back into a groove after a period of rest. Before this you might have been questioning a path or why you were doing certain things, because some cards are asking you to keep reminders of your goals or your inner child with you if you start to doubt yourself again. Also Virgin speaks to someone who keeps their innocence with them regardless of what happens, as well as a new beginning. Overall, I see you being very excited and somewhat giddy about the new opportunities around you and I keep hearing ‘getting back into it’, so a return to the external world basically! For some it could’ve been an external block but I also sense just trying out new activities and experiences (food, cultures, friends, etc).

End of Year

Cards: Queen Rx, Fox, VIII of Cups Rx, Spark of Hustle, Divine Hustle

I figured something like this would happen. I wanted to pull up a playlist of a group I can’t fully listen to on spotify, and their discography is going backwards in this video. This is what your energy feels like somewhat. I also want to note that your first pile was very earthy and there were a lot of blue-greens, meanwhile this pile is red-yellow, but feels stiff and cold. Right now it feels like that energetic and passionate energy has turned into a survivalist one. It reminds me of an earth mindset where money and finances are the driving point — which in these times I’m not too surprised. Instead of passion being a driving force, it’s about what can keep you stable and what gets people interested instead of what you enjoy doing. There’s still external activity, but it’s like clocking in/out of a job. This can also extend a bit to relationships. For some, molding parts of your personality so they enjoy your company. The other group needs to reach out and spend time with loved ones and also listen to their advice/opinion if you vent to them about your stress regarding the first portion of this reading. A piece of you is testing out things, understanding they don’t work, and trying something else out but you’re not actually processing the lesson. It’s just go go go. You need to take care of yourself as much as you can and get back in touch with things like spa days. There’s a difference between reaching deadlines and pumping out content; so which one are you doing? Come to that understanding and make sure you rest your body appropriately. Also someone needs to hear this because it keeps popping up: you are not using all the skills that you have, but are still holding onto the possibility that it’ll work out. If you work at it, there’s a higher chance it’ll work out, but simply dabbling in it won’t give you the results you’re seeking. Don’t obsess over the results if it is a hobby (they should make you happy), but if you want it to work out, you have to try harder.

Pile Two

Beginning of Year

Cards: Priest Rx (Light Attributes), Unicorn, VIII of Pentacles, Divine Masculine, Joke’s on You

You are new here or you discovered a new system. I also Never take the empty cards from the Archetype deck but it wanted to come out, so I don’t believe you did anything I’m about to explain with ill intent. It could lean to just friendships for some but it’s definitely spiritual for most of you.

There’s a feeling of superiority here. Equating it to material goods, let’s say someone got into an AP class or has a higher degree. A few percentage of them will subconsciously have a tendency to exhibit some classism (ex; this person didn’t go to college therefore they aren’t as smart as me). So specifically, it can feel like the usual case of finding this new world and realizing that some people just ‘don’t get it’. So there can be some cases of trying to explain/share this newly found knowledge but being a bit intense, or distancing from old connections in favor of those who are closer to these subjects. I see someone taking in a lot of these topics and wanting to find out as much as they can immediately which is why it feels like something is new here, because that’s usually what happens. However there’s a misleading energy so it’s like...so I wanted to have TMG on in the background for whatever reason before I pulled cards and I understand why now. Some songs are poking fun at people; usually from the pov of someone who’s a disaster talking shit about other people (ex; deadbeat, no flex, clout, etc) and that’s immediately what clicked in my mind. So it generally feels like the energy of someone at a podium shouting about the good word but they barely know it themselves? That’s the general energy I have here. As I said, for some it could be about relationships and a betrayal of some sort, possibly regarding that, but that was a flicker of a message — it’s not that strong.

End of Year

Cards: Angel, Hummingbird, Ace of Pentacles Rx, Living Poetry, Gold at the end of the rainbow

Oh this is cute! I knew it’d go this way but this is more adorable than I expected haha.There is some control on the previous energy from before. You’re still expressing yourself and communicating with others, but it’s more organized? It’s when people come to you instead of you going to them, or you post stuff online. Perhaps you have a separate account to help mitigate those urges to express all the ideas in your head! So you can still share how you feel, but it’s not gaining the previous reaction mentioned before. As I said, there was never ill intent and you do want to legitimately help people. It feels like you found solace in whatever practice it was and you just want others to be able to feel the same, thus you’re trying to find the best way to do so. The Gold card mentions that you should stay focused, as you will soon reach your goal. I don’t believe it’s monetary. I’d be shocked if you weren’t new because you have the same progress that most of us have haha. When you start off, you want to express these feelings to people, you make a lot of connections and you just say them, and sometimes people just find it annoying if it’s the wrong crowd. Eventually you will find a good balance, and usually you want to start off doing it for free and to help people because it makes you happy! That’s what I’m seeing here. There’s a sweet energy coming from this section and I can see you trying to reject people’s offers to pay you for something. I’d be a bit surprised if you weren’t active in the community somewhere (whether that’s in a discord server or actively posting).

Pile Three

Beginning of Year

Cards: Victim, Beaver, King of Cups Rx, Fearless Expression, Time to tinker

Shadow work. Definitely going through negative traits you have, and confronting any past demons that have been holding you back. Enforcing boundaries, standing up for yourself, and doing your best to try and put yourself first. I don’t see you closing yourself off or becoming more cold, but it’s more like wanting a better life. You have a future that you want, and you know the steps you need to take in order to achieve it. It’s like the order of the cards; The Star comes after The Tower — that’s what I feel like happened to you but more like internally/emotionally before you started enforcing it. There’s a possibility that a few of you might be going to therapy considering some sort of expression is here, but for a majority of you it’s just placing boundaries down for what you will and will not accept into your lives.

End of Year

Cards: Hermit, Beaver, Knight of Pentacles Rx, Bliss, Sacred Treasure

Special Note: Hermit wanted to come out from the tarot but it flipped back in

Veerrryy slowed down. Focusing on yourself, your loved ones, and what’s important to you. Self-care is super prominent here. There’s a pinch of health issues for someone (you being the care-taker?) but that’s a very specific message. The point however is that you’ve basically gone into the woods to do some rebuilding from the ground up. To find your inner child, see what’s upset them and make them happy again. You want to feel peace purely from within, and you’re trying to create healthier habits around your spiritual practice or your mindset. I can see meditation, however there is also a big piece of re-framing how you see yourself and talk to yourself. Instead of negative talk it’s being more patient and reaffirming your positive qualities. I feel very calm and it’s a beautiful energy here, so if you feel like you’re not making progress don’t be fooled, you are. There’s a lot of realigning with yourself until you can head back into the over-stimulation of what society can bring. I think it’s important to note that I wanted to watch a supernatural ghost hunting youtube channel while doing this, and they have a halloween special which is heavily edited and has clips of ‘high activity’ — I can see this connected to doing shadow work when you think about it. If the caretaker message resonated with you, I can see that this time to focus on others might make you rethink your path or what you want in life (usually seeing someone run into health issues can make you think about your own life). Ah...I think also with the current transits going on (Saturn), you might be wondering what you’re even doing here. That can explain why your energy feels so intense. Please be patient with yourself, things like this are a lifelong journey. There is a chance you could get things wrong, because it’s more rare to get things right the first time around. Take time to understand what you want to do, what gives you happiness, and go for it. Just recently Andre 3000 said that a friend had told him that it’d be over if he released ‘Hey Ya’, and that most of his friends don’t like his music. He makes things that he likes and you should follow that same mindset. Yes, outside feedback is helpful but not if it imprisons you.

Pile Four

Beginning of Year

Cards: Addict, Owl, The Moon, You are light, Showing up

Interesting...in the beginning of the year there was a lot of reflective energy going on. It’s a bit difficult to explain, but it’s similar to how sometimes we can attract those that show us what we need to work on within ourselves? You were that person for others for some time. It might have been that you were outgrowing a few people in your life as well and that’s how this is showing up. It isn’t coming off as doing work on yourself, it’s more like you’re telling others about things they need to work on for themselves. Maybe some of you are tarot readers/astrologers lol. I don’t think many remarkable things happened for the first quarter of this year for you (at least not for it to show up), but you showed up for others. As I said, people probably sought you out for advice, or you subconsciously were highlighting a lot of people’s insecurities. This can sometimes make people act out, so I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a little animosity during this time due to this.

End of Year

Cards: Destroyer, Panther, The Lovers Rx, Fierce Serenity, Wayward Paths

Ah, the relationships probably started gaining traction during the middle of the year? Your energy still seems peaceful? Usually with these cards it seems a bit thrown off or frustrated but I’m getting the image of someone dusting or cleaning. You’re just simply sorting out what should or should not be in your life. The main theme is relationships, but I think it causes you to sometimes think about jobs, hobbies — what your energy is going towards. Is it worth your attention and love. You give off fixed sign energy. You have an idea of what you don’t want in your life. I don’t think you’re set on what you allow in, but once people/things cross boundaries then they have to go. You have a set of standards and right now you’re doing a spring cleaning of sorts. As I said, I don’t see it as being aggressive — I don’t see any door slamming. It’s just like...distancing? Or prioritizing different people and things that give you more happiness. I think in the beginning there was a bit of confusion or you were giving some extra chances but you realized it was throwing you off kilter which you didn’t appreciate. You’ll be entering a ‘new’ stage of your life come next spring? At the latest.

Ahaaaa, looking back at both of these piles, there was a high chance you were pulling in a lot of relationships to teach you lessons. Let’s say you had 3 friends back to back and they had varying ways of abusing your kindness. That was happening until you realized something needed to change and that’s where you are now. That’s where the subtly and slight animosity was coming from.

#pick a card #pick a card reading #tarot reading #tarot readings #pac #pick a pile #tarotblr #mysticalcreations

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veeveex3 · 1 year

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Gn!Reader x TWST Juniors on a Date

an: I’m SOOOO sorry I haven’t written anything serious since last summer ,_, again, college took up a bunch of my time so I didn’t take time out of my day to write. And when I did have the time, I didn’t have the energy to write, which sucked lol. But I feel a lot more motivated now so hopefully I’ll be able to pump out as much stuff as possible!

tags: mentions of kissing, mildly suggestive content for Trey, Leona, and Vil (not really honestly but i thought i might as well tag it), Rook Hunt, fluffy cute dates

Trey Clover (Picnic Date)

Trey was a great chef, especially when it came to sweets

So when he asked you out, he thought the best thing to do was to use his skills to help create the perfect date

He brought a plethora of sweets and snack foods made almost entirely by him and set up a spot near the edge of the Heartslabyul dorm

He also asked Riddle to behead anyone who went near the two of you so that was nice!

Trey opened one of the two baskets he brought with him, your mouth instinctively salivating at the thought of eating his sweet treats. He brings out a small cake, a couple of perfectly made sandwiches, and some artisanal bread. He cut your a slice of cake and watched as you spared the cake no mercy. He snorted to himself as he poured you a glass of water. As he went to hand you the glass, he stared at you for a bit. You cocked you head as he placed the glass next to him, eyes widening as he leaned towards you. He grabbed you chin and licked the corner of your mouth, letting out a soft hum. “You had frosting on your face”, he said rubbing his thumb against your chin “Who knew you were such a messy eater~?” You eyes darted towards the rest of the cake, wanting to smash your face into what’s left. Luckily, you decided against that.

Cater Diamond (Concert Date)

Given his love for music, it makes sense that this would be his idea of a first date

He tries to find an artist that you both enjoy so that the concert would be equally fun for the both of you

And if you get anxious really easily, he tries to find seats that are far away from the crowd

btw rip his wallet lol

Prepare to take a lot of selfies and just general pictures

As well as a lot of videos of you two singing and fangirling

The sound of music and screams fills your ears as your favorite artist sings on stage. Without giving it much thought, you sing along since you know the words. You throw away any shame you have, putting your heart and soul into having a good time. Cater, who was also singing along, takes a glace at you and stops. As if time has stopped just for him, he takes in the view: the sweat on your face from how hot it is, your eyes glimmering with excitement, your lips he can’t wait to get on his own. Your eyes meet his for a moment and he pretends he wasn’t just staring at you moments ago “It’s fine, it’s really nothing lol” he audibly exclaims to you, “Let’s just enjoy the rest of the concert!”. He has so little time to cherish this concert he paid so much money for but all the time in the world for you afterwards.

Leona Kingscholar (Movie Date)

Leona had a hard time thinking of a good idea, so he went with the most simple option of going to the movies

However, the theater the two of you went to was far from simple, having fancy seats and the whole room all to yourselves just in case you two got bored and wanted to kiss and cuddle instead

He picked a horror movie because he liked the idea of you getting scared and snuggling up to him

And if that didn’t work he could just fake being scared and snuggle up to you, he didn’t mind

Your arms grip the soft, velvety arms of the chair, intensely watching the screen. Leona gave up watching the movie a while ago; he could watch it at any time and watching your reactions was a lot more enjoyable. Your arms reached for the somehow-not-empty bucket of popcorn, eyes still glued to the screen. Whether from fear or investment, it was like a car crash you couldn’t look away from, already knowing the fate of the poor character you were watching. However, it still got you. BAM! The killer jumped at the screen making you damn near spill your popcorn. Leona chuckled, laughing even more when you got mad at him for doing so. “It’s not my fault your got scared. You can hold my hand if you want to though~.” You grabbed his hand, ignoring his teasing, and didn’t let go until after you left the theater.

Vil Schoenheit (Spa Date)

Vil is very particular about his physical appearance, so trips to a bathhouse wasn’t uncommon

Especially since they were often free given his status

After receiving an additional ticket, he decided to take you along as a relaxing date for the two of you

You sat in the bath, holding onto your towel for dear life. Even though the bath you and Vil shared was private, it was still wasn’t big meaning that without your towel, it was still possible for Vil to see you very naked. Speaking of, he emerged from the shower in a fancy robe, walking towards the bath. As he began to untie the robe, you quickly turned your head away, giving some incredibly obvious peaks. Unluckily for you, he was wearing a swimsuit underneath, glaring at you before letting out a soft laugh as he sunk into the bath. The two of you sat in silence for a bit before he gestured over to you to scooch next to him, which you did. Vil rested his head onto your shoulders and sighed. “I’m so glad you’re here to share this moment with me”, his arms gently wrapped around you, “It’s like I’ve died and gone to heaven...”

Rook Hunt (Restaurant Date)

Rook didn’t have the funds to take you out on the fanciest restaurant like he wanted to

But he still took you to the next best place, hoping you’d forgive him for being a broke high school student

Before the actual date though, he makes a grandiose display of affection with a poem as well as a big ass bouquet of flowers

He even transported you on a horse which honestly doesn’t seem as romantic as it does in fiction

Rook stares at you as you look at the menu. Even though the restaurant you two were at wasn’t the fanciest, the prices were still out of your pea-sized budget. Even though he promised to be a gentleman and pay for you, on behalf of said pea-size budget, you still felt bad for making him pay a potentially large bill. You tell him you were going to order the cheapest thing on the menu, before he dramatically stops you, telling you to, instead, ignore the price and go with whatever you liked the sound of best. You took his advice, and once the food came, you happily exclaimed with how good it came out. “Anything for you, mon amour” Rook said, taking your free hand and giving it a kiss, “Your joy fills me cent times over”.

Idia Shroud (Cat Café Date)

Surprisingly, Idia didn’t decide to have a date in his room

He didn’t want you to think he was a weenie and tried to think of a date idea that was fun but also wouldn’t kill him

His love for cats as well as the conveniently placed and quiet cat café on the island helped him make his decision

also he DEFINITLY tries to take a kitten home with him

You sit down with Idia as a table towards the back, looking through the menu to decide what snacks you should get. He nervously looks towards the cat tree across from your table, pupils dilating at cute cats. As the waiter serves you some water and fancy macarons, a treat curtesy of your date, a cat walks over to you, bumping their head against your leg. You start cooing at the chubby cat, scratching their head as you feel another bump from your other leg. You look up at Idia again, who’s looking at the wall and passive-aggressively eating a macaron. You smirk, picking up the fat baby and calling Idia’s attention. Once you have it, you pose your head next to the cat, who meows in time with you. "The hell..” he muttered, covering his face, “warn me next time you wanna hit me with a x2 boosted cuteness beam...”

Malleus Draconia (Museum Date)

Malleus was frequently bored in his history class, already knowing what was taught to him made the class more like a chore

One day, he realized that he could use his knowledge on history to impress you and mayhaps court you

So, he rented out an entire museum to take you through it as well as the history of his world

Malleus grins to himself, happily dragging you along to the next exhibit he wanted to show you. From ancient magical devices to artifacts of fae history, he’s shown you all of it. His favorite he’s saved for last: the gargoyle exhibit. While they were all essentially grotesques as they did not spout water, they were originally gargoyles, thus sparking his interest. As he infodumped to you about the history of each gargoyle, as well as which ones were actually grotesques, you leaned into his arm, gently holding his hand. He stopped for a second to look at you. ”Are you growing tired? If you would like, we can make our final stop to the gift shop earlier than expected so we can go home.” You nodded your head and let out a yawn, feeling guilty for cutting his fun short. He wrapped himself around you from behind and leaned forward to give you a small peck on the cheek, holding you for a short while before finally taking you home.

#twisted wonderland #twst #trey clover #trey clover x reader #cater diamond #cater diamond x reader #leona kingscholar #leona kingscholar x reader #vil schoenheit #vil schoenheit x reader #rook hunt #rook hunt x reader #idia shroud #idia shroud x reader #malleus draconia #malleus draconia x reader

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sunasstink · 11 months

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Heyyy! I’m a new writer and this is my first fic LOL just testing the waters w my ideas.

Minors DNI, you will be blocked.

- reader and gojo are on their third date and have talked about a few things and y/n has voiced that she’s uncomfortable with sexual things in their status rn but gojo somehow fucks it up cuz that’s him.

reader is implied to be black!fem!.

fluff! slight angst!

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You were sweet and kind w a beautiful heart but that don’t mean you gonna let anybody just walk all over you. Given the moment now. The restaurants dim lighting casting on gojo making him look more delicious than her already did but that didn’t stop you from catching the dumb things that flew out this boy mouth.

His hand gently rested on yours as you two waited for the bill after the amazing meal you had, you two had been seeing each other for about a month now and things had to have some tweaks but overall you like the way it’s going. he of course paid for every date and even recently paid to get your nails done, you being a woman of holding your own you insisted he didn’t but that man can’t be told no. he sent you the money and wouldn’t take it back.

right now he’s discussing him adding a few new workouts into his routine which you calmly listened, not that you understood it but hearing him talk was enough. his crystal eyes gazing at you like he was a damn prince or sum.

“yeah my hip thrusts are revolutionary if you know what I mean..”

your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, you didn’t know what he meant but you did have a hunch..slowly feeling the urge to slap him come up but hoping that’s not what he meant. his little gaze wasn’t fascinating anymore.

“umm no…I don’t know what you mean…?”

he let a small chuckle, looking to his left then back at you, knowing he’s fucked now. his hand waving as a sign to forget about it but the next worlds was it fa him.

“sexual joke, don’t worry about it pretty..”

before he could even finish the sentence you hummed and leaned back into your seat, placing your hands in your lap, the uncomfortable anger settling in you. you were simply uninterested now.

he noticed this immediately, trying to reach for your hand but failed miserably as you simply shook your head before he could even touch you.

“cmon pretty…it was just a slip up…I’m sorry”

when they came back with his card and the receipt he stood up, walking to your side of the booth, his hand out in offer to help you, simply standing up and walking past him just a bit.

“yeah I know, it’s whatever.”

it wasn’t, you opened up to him about your biggest fears, regrets and concerns. and it seemed that he took it lightly, something you didn’t appreciate.

Gojo made his way to you, his large hands slowly sliding to your waist, his tall figure pushed against your own as he stared down at you with a faced you hadn’t seen before.

he was concerned. very concerned.

“no it’s not. I know how you feel about that shit, I know I shouldn’t of said that, I’m sorry. I really care about you and I’d never just brush off something like that….now please…just…I don’t want you seeing me in that light..”

the smile you had reached from ear to ear, nobody has ever voiced how much they cared for you, or even took your thoughts into consideration. But here he was, a prideful man ignoring his ego for the woman he hopes to love so dearly. he’d do anything to make you see that you are his light.

you couldn’t be mad, gently grabbing his hand and intertwining your fingers as you both walked out of the restaurant to his car, him still apologizing here and there and for the rest of the week he had kept apologizing even after you told him it was okay.

dear, did he lose his mind over you? yes.

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omg that was my first fic, hope y’all enjoy and eat it up. I wanna make more but honestly I’m scared and stalling.

#gojo x reader #gojo x black reader #gojou satoru x reader #gojo x y/n #jjk fanfic #black reader #jjk fluff #jjk angst #gojo saturo #gojo x you #gojo fluff #gojo x female reader

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the-soliloquies-of-sadists · 2 years

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#319

“Were you waiting long for me? Thought so. The pic I was provided was horrible; I almost didn’t recognize you. Leave your coffee. Let’s go up to my hotel room…. Look, I’m a well-known photographer and we can’t be seen together in public, at least not here…. If you are not interested, then I’m out of here…. I have a long extra thick dick and I don’t bottom, ever…. Thought that would get your pussy moving….

“Follow me. Stay back ten steps…. This is the back entrance to my hotel. Our elevator…. Get in….

“Ok, listen up. Look, through my contact I know you are a fucking whore. Yes, I will pay for your services. But know this, if I’m going to pay, then I’m paying for what I want to do to you. How much do you charge for an hour?... A day?... An entire weekend?... My room is at the end of the hall.

“But here’s the thing. I will pay you for two hours up front. If you are a good fuck, I will want you for the rest of my stay here. You won’t get paid unless you are here for the full time. You leave, you forfeit your money. You understand?... Good. When we walk in, take off your clothes. 319, this is my suite.

“Bathroom’s over there. You can make yourself presentable if you want. I will be over here at my workstation….

“…That didn’t take long. You are cleaned out right? If not, I have a kit to take care of that in my suitcase…. Good. Bring me your ID…. I said, ‘Bring me your ID.’

“…That wasn’t too hard, now, was it? Here’s a model release form. Fill it out and sign the bottom. Boy, look, I’m one of the most sought-after photographers in fashion today. I plan on taking some photos of you for my personal use. I need this signed.

“Oh don’t worry. You will be wearing a hood to hide your face. You don’t have any distinguishing body features. No one will recognize you. Besides, you won’t see one penny if you don’t sign.

“…Good. OK, one thing I expect is total compliance to what I want. First thing is put this hood on. Look at yourself in the mirror. No one can tell that it is you.

“Go on play with yourself. Get hard, but don’t cum yet. So sexy. My camera loves you. Move over here. Now put you left leg on that chair. Reach behind and play with your hole. Fuck yeah.

“Keep doing that, I’m going to put these wrist and ankle cuffs on. You need to be wearing some leather restraints. You are doing great. That leather looks natural on you.

“Sit on that chair but scoot way down so your ass is hanging off. Lift those legs up. I want to see your hole. Fuck yeah. Make it wink of me. Hee hee. So good. That hole is so inviting.

“Hold still. There you can relax. I just secured your wrists to your ankles…. And now they are strapped to the chair. You ain’t going anywhere. That hole is ripe for my taking now. You can’t close your legs. Fuck yeah.

“This is going to hurt a bit. Just go with it…. It’s just titty clamps. I want your titties to be on fire when I plow you. Looks like you are going to be a screamer…. Here open your mouth…. Bitch, open your fucking mouth. That gag will keep you from yelling so loud that the entire north wing of the hotel can hear you get split in two. I might as well do this now. Taking away your sight is only going to make everything more intense. That gag and blindfold are secured on; you can’t wiggle out of it.

“Focus your attention on your hole. Ride the pain from your nips. You feel my meat on your crack? It’s heavy. It’s getting harder. Moan bitch…. This lube is ice cold I know. It’s more for my dick than it is for your hole.

“Relax. Daddy’s coming it. Oh fuuuuuuck. Mmmm. Mmmm. Keep the focus on relaxing your hole. Jesus!... Quit squirming. Daddy owns this hole. Just ride it out. Daddy’s in control. Your hole feels so good. You are about to get a week’s load to flood your whore hole. It’s going to be big. Oh yeah. Oh baby. Your muffled screams are better than any poppers. Fuck. I don’t know if I can hold out. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Urgh. Uh! Fuuuuuck! Shit!

“Fuck boy. You are worth every penny I have spent on you. I’m going to pull out. Until I tell you, try to keep my load in there. What a sight! Push some of my jiz out. Oh man. Fuck. That great. Hold still. These shots are great. Fuck. Boy you were made to be bound up.

“Whew!... I gave you one hell of a gape. Beautiful.

“I’m going to unclip you, and you are going to follow my lead. I’m going to lead you to the bed…. These clamps are coming off and it’s going to be an intense rush of pain…. Told ya!

“Here, lay face down. Relax…. I want you to spread your legs. I want to see that messy hole. Here let me put a few pillows under your groin. Oh yeah. Spread your legs wide. That’s a better shot of your ass. I can’t wait to show you these pics. Your ass is slathered in my spooge. Fuck yeah. Now hold still….

“….That was easy. Your ankles are now secured again. Quit squirming. Give me this wrist. You can stop fidgeting. This is going to happen…. There! You are now secured to my bed. Now, that hood is going to remain, as is the gag and the blindfold. You are going to be here for a while. All weekend long.

“But for today, I need to step out. I have to do a photoshoot with a bunch of overpaid emaciated young women. I will be back in about five hours. Don’t worry, I will have a few friends check in on you. They will probably load you up too. I mean, that ass was made for fucking.

“When I come back, I want you fully loaded up. Then we will have some fun. Some real fun.

“Now before I go, I think you need this noise canceling headset. So you won’t even know my friends are here until they are entering your ass. Enjoy…”

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pixeldistractions · 2 months

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In the morning, Jordan put some aloe on his sunburn. It was time to get back to the grind.

The morning session went as well as it ever did, which was not to say he made much progress. There were no notable falls to mention, and nothing actually broke, but the sunburn made every movement torture. So he ducked out of the session a little early and went to hide.

He already had a favorite spot in the adventure park. It was a small rock ledge that was flat enough for sitting, covered by the shade of a lone tree, and had a spectacular view. He paid a hefty price tag for these classes, so he would rest when the climbing got the best of his bruised body and ego. The best part—this was the only spot in the park where he got a good cell connection.

He checked his texts. Maria had sent a picture and an emoji kiss. 😘

The emoji was sweet, but it left him wanting. Her pictures left him speechless, but also filled him with ache. He knew the real thing, and nothing less would do. Not anymore, not after six weeks apart. He wanted her real lips on his, her warm skin under his fingertips, he wanted to squeeze her supple thighs and wrap her legs around his hips.

As it turned out, they both wanted dates on the calendar.

He called her back.

“I have good news,” Maria said. “I mean, I hope you’ll think it’s good news. I can have five days off on November 5th. Steph said she’d cover some of my shifts after Justin finished his exams. Or else a weekend on October 22nd.”

“Really? That’s next weekend.”

“But the train ride is almost ten hours each way, so I’ll only get to see you for about… twenty-four hours?”

“I would absolutely pay good money to be able to touch you for twenty-four hours.”

“It would be cheaper if I can get someone to watch Johanna.”

“And more time for touching,” he said. “A better bang for my buck.”

“Hmmm,” she mused, “Why does this sound like hiring a prostitute?”

“Ha, I’m in Nevada,” he said. “It’s totally legal here.”

She giggled. “Can you afford that? The train tickets, I mean, not the prostitute.”

“Well, I mean, I could probably afford it once.”

“Once,” she said somberly.

“Or both? I’ll pick up some jobs. We can do both.”

“No, you don’t have to,” she said. “I mean, I can pay for one of them.”

“Then both?” He felt unreasonably excited. She could be here so soon, and that was more optimistic than he’d felt about anything in weeks. Just ten more days. “What do you think? Then I can see you next week… But, I guess, only for twenty-four hours.”

“Oh, God, it sounds awful when you say it like that,” she said. “Would you be okay with that? I don’t know if I can do that. Twenty-four hours together and then just, like, going home? How can we do that?”

Then, as if to torture him, the morning sun moved over the lone tree and blasted down its midday rays on his burnt skin. His favorite spot in the park now felt like the fires of hell.

“Wait, please try,” he pleaded. “Please? We’ll have so much fun, you won’t even think about it. And It’ll get easier. In December, training breaks for the winter, and I can come to Wisconsin for a bit.”

“How long is a bit?”

“Longer than five days, I promise.”

“And then? After that?” she wondered. “Weekends here and there. Twenty-four hours at a time. It’s not even really about the money. I don’t know if I can keep taking long weekends and vacations. Unless I quit my job.”

“I would never ask you to do that.”

“You wouldn’t?”

Somehow that must have been the exact wrong answer, because she went quiet in the way she did when she was trying not to cry. He knew the difference; he’d unfortunately been the reason for her crying a few times now.

“Maria? What is it?”

She was silent for seconds more, but he could hear her breathing, shaky and slow. Then she said, “It does feel like putting it back on the shelf. It’s going to feel that way every time.”

“I know,” he said. “And I’m so sorry. But are you still gonna come? You can think about it. If you want, we can just do the November week when you can stay longer. I don’t want you to be sad.”

“Well, now I’ll be sad if I don’t come, too,” she said.

“Okay, then come,” he said. “You won’t regret it, I promise.”

He knew she wouldn’t be okay with this. He knew it before they even started. But he’d been hopeful when she wanted to convince him otherwise. Now there was a growing realization of what this would feel like long-term. It wasn’t the carefree dream life he imagined.

— from “boxes and squares #4.1: first fall apart” (2/5)

Next ->

#ts4 #sims 4 #simblr #sims story #jordan #maria

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firstsprinces · 1 month

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Your eyes do not deceive you, I’m actually posting ahead of the game! For once, I actually have a decent amount to share and at a decent time of the day!

Outlaw Alex is nearing you soon!

I feel like an idiot because the lyric for the title is supposed to be "The Wind Whispered Softly That the Devil's to Blame" and for some reason my brain changed 'softy' to 'something'. Now I have to make the correction to literally everything I've created for it!

Anyway, here's the possible last share of Chapter One where Henry's putting aside his savings to send back to his family. Enjoy!

The next thing Henry takes out of his pocket are the coins he hasn't had a use for. His thumb glides over the ridges of the face that's been pressed into it. It's nothing like the schillings from his homeland that features nature, a crown, or the coat of arms of England. They're profiles of faces he doesn't recognize, that don't hold the extra value of being proud of what's engraved onto them. For a moment, he feels homesick but he pushes it aside because being in America is supposed to provide his life back at home something Henry wouldn't have been able to give if he had stayed. In the back of the drawer there's a small sack that's placed in one of its corners. He pulls the string open on the black velvet sack that he uses for his extra earnings, the coins making a chiming sound as they hit each other and then rest at the bottom of the sack It's not much but he's hoping that he's able to help his family back in England the best that he can from across the waters. Even though it's American currency, he still makes sure to send back whatever he has left over that isn't a necessity for him. His mother has always protested against this, but it makes Henry feel like him being gone is purposeful for everyone. Henry feels the weight of the bag in his palm once he closes it, and as he gently tosses it and catches it he wonders if he'll ever be able to make enough money to have any left over for himself to use for leisure. Could he ever have enough to take a break from writing pieces that lack substance to take a trip where he can journal his travels and make something meaningful out of them? Will he always be the English boy sat behind a typewriter that's not his and spend hours putting words together that absolutely bore him? When will he have his moment to be the son his father had such high hopes for? He needs to stop the thinking freely as he feels it becoming selfish. The world doesn't revolve around him. A world that's filled with riches men have yet to even discover will never wait for him. There will always be another great explorer who is paid a high price to make grand findings that will change human lives forever. After placing the sack back into the drawer, Henry finally shrugs his overcoat off and hangs it on the back of his chair. The tension in his shoulders drop with almost immediate relief before he begins his dinnertime setup that will entertainingly intrigue him for his remaining hours of being awake. Henry won't lie that everyday his final hour of work is consumed by his endearing excitement over getting to listen to the nighttime block over the radio.

Tagging: @priincebutt, @onthewaytosomewhere, @anincompletelist, and anyone else who has anything to share!

#firstprince #rwrb #firstprince fic #wip #red white and royal blue #firstprince fanfic #firstprince au #wip wednesday #outlaw alex

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delicatemusickingdom · 22 days

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Book 1 Part 2 Chapter 2.4

Chapter 2.4

Yuri tilted his palm, and several coins fell into the jar with a clinking sound. Swallowing up the coins with its gaping mouth, the jar made a small but heavy sound in its stomach. Yuri stood still, listening intently. In the past, it had always made a high-pitched sound, but now it was different.

The jar was the size of a child’s torso. It sat there enshrined on the ground, unmoving.

On the other side of the jar, Jiri stood there, silently watching. But when the last coin fell into the jar, she opened her mouth.

“You’re the last one, Yuri. That’s all for this week.”

Yuri peered into the jar, staring at its contents intently. Jiri came closer and peered inside as well.

“You’ve saved up quite a bit. Honestly, I’m surprised. I didn’t think you guys would work so hard to gather this much. You have my respect.”

But the boy nodded so slightly that his black hair only swayed a little. Jiri waited for a while to see if Yuri would say anything more, but eventually she gave a slight shrug of her shoulders.

“Alright, go and rest for today. You still have work tomorrow, right?”

Yuri raised his head to look at Jiri.

“Aunt Jiri, we only need just a little more. Just a little more, right?”

His gaze looked like he was begging for help. Like he was telling her to say yes. Jiri met that gaze without averting her eyes, but her words said something different.

“Go on. You should get some rest.”

Her voice was filled with sympathy and kindness, something rarely heard from her.

For a while, Yuri stared at Jiri. But eventually he turned his face away and left the room. The door closed, leaving Jiri alone in the room with the jar. She looked at the jar again.

At first, each time a coin was thrown inside, the jar would make a harsh, clattering sound that grated the ear. Empty vessels echoed well, after all. But now it was so full that you could see the coins piled up inside if you peeked into it.

For the past few months, beginning with Yuri and Flynn, the children of the lower quarter had worked their bodies to the bone, and this was the collective fruit of their endeavours.

There was no lie in what Jiri had said to Yuri. Flynn was one thing, but not counting Yuri, even if it was to save Norein, she hadn’t expected the other children to persist this long. Or maybe some of them had given up, but had been stopped, and then supported by their friends — like a microcosm of the lower quarter.

Every week, when they were paid, the boys would each come and put their own earnings into the jar and leave. No one was ever absent.

Evidently, she’d underestimated those kids. Jiri thought that with a quiet sense of pride.

These precious funds were more than just mere pocket change they’d earned. The boys had entrusted this money to the most reliable person in the lower quarter, in other words, Jiri. Grandma Jiri will protect our money without fail, even if the Imperial Knights raid her house. That’s what the boys all thought. And Jiri responded to that trust. Every week, the jar would swallow up their money, and Jiri would hide it in a place only she knew until it was time to bring it out again.

But. Even now, their most important goal remained unfulfilled. The panacea continued to be out of their reach. That, too, was an undeniable reality.

Jiri stared at the jar. There was no expression on her face, but in her eyes, various thoughts and emotions intertwined together.

Eventually she slowly rose to her feet, looked at the ceiling, and closed her eyes.

****

“Damn it.”

He thrust out his fist, and a hard sound rang out from the wall. Pain shot through and ran down his arm.

Yuri gritted his teeth and slowly lowered his arm.

Everyone’s efforts were steadily accumulating and manifesting in the form of the earnings in the jar. In truth, he never expected to save up this much money in such a short period of time. And yet it wasn’t enough to obtain a panacea bottle. They were still in short supply, but more than that, the prices hadn’t stopped rising.

If the price had been like in the past, before this series of disturbing events had occurred, they would already have enough money to buy several bottles. But now, what they had wasn’t enough to save Norein.

Somewhere out there, someone was cheating the system. Yuri didn’t know if it was one person, or a bunch of people, but because that someone always existed, a life that could be saved was now unable to be saved.

It was unfair. But that was how the world worked.

Yuri thought of his friends.

He hadn’t exchanged many words with Flynn lately. There weren’t many opportunities to talk because they were both busy with work, but even when they ran into each other occasionally, Flynn was constantly absent-minded, and didn’t talk much.

Yuri couldn’t blame him.

Even though the person in question would never say it out aloud, Flynn was most likely — no, he had to be — the most anxious out of all of them. How long can Norein hold on for? Yuri had heard that she rarely even woke up these days. Helplessness, impatience and distress. Yuri felt like he could feel Flynn’s anguish as if it were his own.

No — Yuri mentally shook his head. That was most likely overreaching. How could someone who had never known their mother imagine what it was like to lose one, and feel the fear that came with it? But that thought evoked a pain similar to a small ache in his chest.

There were other things to worry about, too. By now, Jareth and the other children should have learned the price of the panacea. This was to be expected, but the thought that their efforts might never be enough must have had a considerable effect on the boys’ motivation and enthusiasm. Inwardly, Yuri was anxious. How long can everyone remain united like they are right now?

What did Jiri think about all this? At the very least, he was pretty sure she didn’t think things were proceeding smoothly. That’s why she didn’t answer his previous question. Instead of lying to him.

Yuri wanted to sleep. Sleep, and escape the feeling that they were headed straight towards a dead end. But he was sure his sleep would also be filled with dreams of drowning in a swamp. Of being trapped and unable to break free, somehow managing to stay afloat by struggling, but eventually running out of strength and slowly sinking into its depths ——

****

“Then you really can’t?”

At Flynn’s question, the merchant put a hand to his head apologetically.

“Yeah. Can’t do anything if our supply is delayed.”

The merchant gestured with his chin to the loading dock in front of them. Before there had been enough wooden boxes and packages to form a mountain, but now there were only a handful of packages left. A bunch of adults — carriers — just hung about the dock doing nothing, as if they had too much free time on their hands.

Flynn wasn’t surprised to find that there was no work. This wasn’t the first time this had happened. He had already visited several merchants he used to work for, and they had all said the same thing.

The uneasy atmosphere swirling in the imperial like an eddy had finally started to affect the boys’ work opportunities. Monsters appeared on highways as a common occurrence, and the number of caravans transporting goods between cities had drastically decreased. The Imperial Knights were supposed to escort these caravans, but there was a shortage due to most of their troops being away from the imperial capital, and the mercenaries that would fill in for them were busy protecting their own bases. The circulation of goods between the imperial capital and other cities was experiencing delays, and as a result business within the imperial capital was tapering off.

Everyone was talking about the monsters. Species that lived in the forest would appear in the grasslands. Monsters would appear in places where they normally wouldn’t be. Monsters that usually acted alone were now forming packs. Monsters would attack whether or not you had escorts.

It was as if the beings known as ‘monsters’ had begun to behave differently from what was previously known, but no one knew why. The only thing these changes had in common was that it meant the dangers ‘outside’ had increased significantly. Along with the halting of circulation of goods, news coming from the other places had become scarce, and the people huddled up in fear inside the barriers.

“I wonder how long this will continue…… If this drags on, I may have to close down my business. Sorry about that. I know you came all the way here.”

“No, it’s fine. Well, if you’ll excuse me.”

With a slight now, Flynn left. The merchant had treated him like a normal person. It was the extensive result of the boys’ hard work for these past few months, but that didn’t mean they could find work. It couldn’t be helped. Flynn’s steps were heavy.

Yuri and the other children were waiting just a short distance away.

“Looks like this one was a bust too.”

“Yeah. ……Same as everyone else?”

The boys all nodded dejectedly. They were aware of the current situation, but they didn’t expect all of them to be unable to find work. Though the rumours had been spreading for a while now, they had earned the trust of the people from the ‘other side of the wall’, and had worked hard to maintain it. So it came especially as a shock for them when that was suddenly all taken away.

There were jobs that were still high in demand, but most of them were dangerous and thus too much for the young boys to handle. Furthermore, pretty much everyone from the citizens’ quarter had heard about the boys’ reputations and come to believe in them. The boys had already visited all of their potential employers, and there were none left to find.

There was nothing more they could do. In silent agreement, Yuri and the other boys began trudging back to the lower quarter. At least there was work to be done there, even if the wages wouldn’t be as high as they wanted it to be.

At this rate, there won’t be much money to put into the jar this week. Yuri’s heart sank. But it must be even harder on Flynn. We have no choice but to do what we can. Yuri walked as quickly as he could.

****

A whistling sound cut through the air. It was a sound that would cause you to instinctively duck down. In fact, that was what the boys did. At the same time, the walls of a nearby house emitted a short, hard sound.

“Watch out!”

At Flynn’s sharp cry, the boys managed to scramble to the side of the road, even as they stumbled down the slope to the lower quarter.

Yuri looked in the direction of the sound and saw an arrow sticking out of the wall. As if guided by it, several other arrows came flying, accompanied by the same, ear-piercing sound. The arrows mostly hit the walls and ground at haphazard angles, either sticking in or bouncing off the surfaces.

“Take cover and hide!”

Following Flynn’s lead, the other children hurriedly ducked for cover behind nearby barrels and wooden crates. Yuri also followed suit, and turned to look at the top of the slope. The arrows had come flying from there, but he couldn’t see who had shot them.

Are we the targets? Yuri wondered, but he was pretty sure that wasn’t the case. But then who, or what are they shooting at?

Suddenly, a shadow fell over the street. It wasn’t an arrow. The moment he reflectively looked up, he saw something hop over the other side of a building’s roof — and vanish. Was it a bird or a cat that had been surprised by the arrows? No, that wasn’t it. The shadow was vague in shape, but Yuri recognised that vagueness.

Involuntarily, he opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, there was a loud sound from the top of the slope. He couldn’t see anything because the path was curved, but it sounded like hollow metal striking each other, or hitting the ground. It was the familiar sound of armour — in other words, knights.

Everyone else seemed to have realised that as well. They were already tense, but now they stiffened up even further. They stared at each other uneasily, and looked towards the slope.

The sound got closer and closer, until finally what appeared from the corner of the street was as they had imagined. Knights. This was the first time Yuri had seen such a large number of knights since that day when he saw the knights leave the imperial capital not long ago.

There were more than a dozen knights, clad in armour and rushing down the slope with a ferocity unlike anything he’d ever seen before. Of all things, they were holding crossbows in their hands.

So those were where the arrows came from. And as Yuri expected, it looked like their target wasn’t him and the others. Though he was convinced of that, at the same time he was worried. Although he had never touched one before, he knew what a crossbow was. It was in the training manual Flynn had. Since it was a manual for swords, it only had a rough outline for crossbows, but Yuri had read it anyway — thanks to what he had learned from Norein.

According to the manual, it was a weapon that fired arrows using a spring mechanism. Though it wasn’t a blastia, it had much more power and range than a hand-strung bow. Apparently it was so powerful that at short range it could even pierce through armour. Naturally, if any of the boys were shot, they would go down without any resistance. But Yuri noticed something else.

The knights were still a distance away, but Yuri could tell they looked different from usual. They were giving off a terribly savage and violent aura, and they looked to put it in one word — murderous. And extremely so, too.

The knights were often arrogant and violent to the lower quarter residents to begin with. Was the thing they were chasing after really that important? Or were they simply influenced by the disturbing atmosphere surrounding the imperial capital?

Either way, right now the situation was extremely dangerous. The Imperial Knights had to know that there were people in the lower quarter area. Despite that, they had fired their arrows without caring if their arrows hit anyone by accident, and even now they were rushing towards their direction at a ferocious pace.

Should they reveal themselves while they had the chance? But there was no guarantee the knights wouldn’t shoot at them on reflex the moment they exposed themselves. Yuri didn’t feel like making such a gamble. Not to mention, he couldn’t force that on his friends.

His eyes met Flynn’s. Flynn was staring at him from the shadow of a building across the street. Seeing the intense concern in his eyes, Yuri realised Flynn was thinking the same thing.

As expected of Flynn, he thought, but there was no time. Yuri looked around. There were gaps between the houses. They were too narrow to be called roads, but they didn’t seem impossible to pass through — that is, if you were a child.

The boys were scattered on either side of the street. Launching pebbles at their feet, Yuri drew his friends’ attention and pointed at the gaps near each of them. They understood quickly, and one by one they slipped between the buildings and disappeared.

Good. We’re all familiar with this area, and this way knights can’t get at us either. Yuri watched the last boy disappear into a gap like a rabbit down a hole and nodded. Only Flynn remained.

There were gaps near both of them. But Yuri suddenly jumped out into the middle of the street. Keeping his waist low, he crossed the street in one go. Flynn’s eyes widened.

Several arrows tore through the space where he had been seconds ago. Yuri dived and rolled over, almost crashing into Flynn.

“What are you doing?!”

“There’s something I’m curious about.”

Yuri gave Flynn a sidelong glance and plunged into a gap in a nearby building. Confused, Flynn followed behind him.

The gap was darker and narrower than it looked, but like he remembered, it wasn’t a dead end. The two of them crossed through the gap to the other side, and immediately hid so the knights wouldn’t spot them.

But the knights had fired arrows at them, which meant they alread knew what Yuri — or whatever it was that tipped them off — looked like. They were only one street away, so the chances of getting spotted again were high. Before that could happen, Flynn started running — and stopped.

“Yuri!?”

The black-haired boy was crouching down in the alleyway, staring fixedly at a point on the ground.

Flynn approached him with a dubious look on his face, but when he realised what Yuri was looking at, he frowned.

“Blood…? Whose blood is that…?”

“The person they’re chasing after.”

Saying that, Yuri lifted his head and looked towards the bottom of the slope. He had seen a shadow on the roof of a building. Yuri had intentionally jumped over to Flynn’s side of the street because the building was on Flynn’s side.

“They’re hurt.”

Still facing the bottom of the slope, Yuri stood up. Flynn must have recognised the look in his eyes, because he gave Yuri a reproachful look.

“What are you going to do?”

“Chase after them.”

He had been unsure on what exactly to do until Flynn asked him, but thanks to that his decision was clear. Naturally, Flynn looked confused.

“Why?”

“Because it’s most likely that guy.”

“‘That guy’?”

“The ‘Dark Wings’.”

Saying that, Yuri broke into a run.

But soon after, another set of footsteps followed him from behind.

“…I’m coming too.”

Yuri was surprised, but hid it. Instead, his lips curved into a smile.

It was a hopeless chase. The only clue they had was the bloodstain they had found at the beginning. They had guessed that the thief was headed in the direction of the lower quarter and headed there for now. But they also had to be wary of the intruding knights, and they couldn’t rule out the possibility that the person was hiding somewhere along the way.

The owner of the bloodstain was most likely moving across the rooftops. They might be able to find more traces if they climbed up the building, but then it would be their turn to get spotted by the knights. The knights before hadn’t asked questions before shooting, and the two of them were reluctant to expose themselves to those crossbows.

“Yuri, that wall over there.”

Despite Flynn saying that, Yuri didn’t know what he was pointing at at first. It was only when he got closer and strained his eyes that he finally spotted it. There were indeed traces of dark red stains on the wall.

“You have sharp eyes.”

Yuri said, inwardly relieved at the discovery of the new trail.

Flynn gazed at the bloodstain, and tracked the direction of where it had dripped from to over his head.

“The blood fell from above. They’re still moving across the rooftops.”

“Do you know which way they’re headed?”

“The fact that they’re running along the rooftops… means they're always running parallel to the streets. I can’t say for sure, but most likely they’re still heading for the lower quarter.

“That’s enough for me. Let’s go.”

****

Their target was slowly getting cornered. All of the knights were excited by this realisation. The thief had stolen from the royal quarter in broad daylight. If they could catch him, they’d clearly reap a glorious reward.

And although the Empire was governed by a council of nobles, nowadays that same council was in a state of political tension with the Imperial Knights. The nobles relied on their own security for their mansions, so by capturing the thief who had broken through these defences and gotten away, the knights could show off their superiority. On the other hand, there was no excuse if they let the thief get away.

Due to large-scale expeditions being carried out, the number of knights in the imperial capital was lower than ever before. Although they were the Imperial Knights, the amount of knowledge that a knight possessed of what was going on outside the imperial capital wasn’t that much different from that of a commoner in the citizens’ quarter.

Such various circumstances were intertwined together beneath their excitement of the hunt.

Their reason wasn’t necessarily simple — and yet maybe it was simple after all.

Unease.

The crossbows that the knights were holding were made purely for combat. They wouldn’t let the thief get away. They would capture him — even if it meant they had to kill him.

****

“Not good, hide!”

At Flynn’s words, Yuri quickly ducked into a nearby shadow. Immediately after, the knights appeared as if out of thin air, holding crossbows in hand. They passed by the two of them without noticing, yelling angrily as they did so.

The two of them held their breath and waited for the sound of armour and footsteps to recede. If anything, they were in luck. After all, they hadn’t seen any bloodstains for a while, and were starting to worry if they’d lost sight of the thief.

But the knights were moving strangely as well. They had been heading straight for the centre of Fountain Alley for a while now, but now they were headed for a different direction. Judging from their pace they didn’t seem to have completely lost sight of the thief. Then did that mean their target had changed course?

“We should just follow them.”

There was the worry that the knights would beat them to it, but it was better than losing sight of the thief.

The two of them nodded to each other, then quietly stepped out of the shadows and resumed their pursuit.

Come to think of it, it was times like this that they should have their sword with them. Yuri suddenly had that thought as they hurried on ahead. They had gone through all that training, but when it mattered the most, they didn’t have a weapon on hand. How ironic.

Of course, the threat they were facing right now wasn’t like the monsters they’d encountered before. No matter how much he disliked them, the knights were still humans. He’d never seriously thought of fighting them.

Oh well. Yuri thought about it rationally. They would only have one sword anyways, and any hatchets he could use were all in the fields far away.

The two of them followed the knights, taking care not to get caught while not losing sight of them. Suddenly, they stopped. It sounded like the distance between them and knights had suddenly grown shorter. They carefully moved closer and took a peek.

Yuri knew what he was going to see even before he looked. It was a sight he was familiar with now. Beyond the rows of broken down and slanted eaves of houses, and separated by a street. A stretch of buildings, abruptly devoid of colour.

“The Grey Alleyways…” Flynn spoke on behalf of Yuri’s thoughts. “So this is where he escaped to.”

Up ahead, the knights were reorganising themselves.

So when Yuri had seen the knights here the last time, they had been chasing after the ‘Dark Wings’ after all. Back then they had clearly hesitated to go in. This time, they were aware of where the thief had ended up and had stopped for a moment, but it looked like they had no intention of giving up.

Yuri was reminded of that uncle. Was that strange knight still somewhere in the imperial capital? Or was he far away from the imperial capital, fighting monsters or whatever enemy it was? The thought of such a person fighting anyone or anything felt strange. Of course, he couldn't say for sure if that uncle was among the knights right in front of them.

Unlike the last time, the knights didn’t split up, but advanced as a unit into the Grey Alleyways. Such a large group of knights were dangerous, but they were louder, and thus it was less likely that the thief would run into them. The boys signalled to each other with their eyes and quietly resumed moving forward.

To be honest, Yuri didn’t really understand why he was doing this. There was Norein’s medicine costs, and the lack of work, and the manual work in the lower quarter that he’d been exempted from for so long. He had plenty of other things he had to worry about, so why was he courting danger with the Imperial Knights and challenging the Grey Alleyways again?

Was it because he had witnessed the ‘Dark Wings’ spectacularly escape from him the last time? Was that why he was chasing after them? What was he planning to do after he chased them down? In the first place, there was no guarantee that the target they were currently chasing was the ‘Dark Wings’.

—No. With the way those knights were acting, to Yuri at least, that was sufficient proof that they were up against the ‘Dark Wings’.

However, right now, what was preoccupying Yuri’s mind was rather the bloodstains they had found several times before. No matter who it was, they were being chased down by knights and they were injured. The realisation was driving him forward, even if he didn’t realise it himself.

He had the feeling he couldn’t just leave them alone.

But then what about Flynn? Taking care not to make any sound as he ran, Yuri cast him a doubtful glance. If anything, Flynn was critical of the ‘Dark Wings’. It’s not like he was going to cooperate with the knights, so why was he following Yuri? Was it that he couldn’t leave them alone? And who exactly?

The ‘River Escapade’ came to mind. Back then too, Flynn had followed along despite his reproach. They’d pushed the heavy cart together, fought together, and — laughed.

Oh, right. He was like that. It had felt so natural that he hadn't been conscious of it until he suddenly was, and then he felt embarrassed.

He glanced furtively at Flynn. The golden-haired boy was walking with the same serious expression on his face.

For some reason Yuri felt a small sense of relief at that as he quickened his pace.

****

“He’s not here either.”

“Dammit, where did he go!?”

The knights hurled insults upon hearing the voices of their comrades in the nearby buildings. They had gotten worked up because of the hunt and bravely ventured into the grey labyrinth, but couldn’t find their quarry. They were suffering from a backlash from their enthusiasm, and the knights were on the verge of exploding in frustration.

They would slash their swords or shoot their arrows at walls in place of markers, peer down streets at random, and even break down the doors of houses to search inside, and repeat. But there were an infinite number of streets and houses to investigate in this labyrinth, or so it felt like. The knights desperately continued to search while resisting the sense of futility creeping up on them.

“He has to be somewhere nearby. Search harder!”

There was a reason why the knights hadn’t gone any further into the labyrinth. Of course there was the fact that they were reluctant to expand their search area, but more importantly, they had found a bloodstain nearby. Confronted with this concrete evidence, the knights grew excited and did a thorough search of the area, but so far their efforts had yielded nothing.

“How long are they going to keep at it?”

Yuri murmured as he watched them run about from his hiding spot.

“That’s how desperate they are. We won’t be getting away lightly if they find us.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

The two of them were hiding near where the knights had come from. The knights had found the bloodstain up ahead, so it was unlikely they’d come all the way back here to search for the thief, but it was best to be cautious.

“Come out, ‘Dark Wings’! You’re under arrest! Come out!”

The knights’ yells echoed uselessly through the streets. Of course, there was no response. In a fit of anger, some of them swung their crossbows and fired their arrows at the walls. One of them nearly hit a fellow knight, and they were given a thorough scolding.

Even so, no matter how long Yuri and Flynn waited, the knights showed no signs of cooling down from their enthusiasm or losing their drive. Seemingly unsatisfied, they searched the same places two or three more times. But eventually, they concluded that they must have investigated this place thoroughly enough, and gathered together before proceeding deeper into the labyrinth.

Yuri and Flynn moved forward until they reached the area that the knights had been rampaging through just a few moments ago. They had originally planned to wait until the knights had spotted the thief before taking a detour around to get ahead of them. But the knights had were making a huge fuss about the evidence they found in the area, so the two of them stayed close by and continued to watch them, and missed their chance to move.

“I guess they weren’t here after all.”

Yuri looked down at the ground. The bloodstain the knights had found had long been trampled all over, so there was no way to verify it.

“Like I thought, it’s better to get ahead of them… Flynn?”

There was no response. Yuri turned to look, and saw that the golden-haired boy had his back facing Yuri, and was staring intently at something with a thoughtful expression on his face.

“What’s wrong? Did you find something?”

Instead of answering, Flynn turned his head, looking left and right, before returning his gaze to the wall in front of him. It was a grey wall, no different from the other walls around them.

“……It’s gone.”

“What?”

Flynn tilted his head in confusion, and started muttering to himself. He suddenly raised his hand and touched the wall, running his fingers along its rough surface.

“It should have been here. If I remember correctly…”

As he muttered that, he walked sideways along the wall. Then abruptly, his figure fell forward, and in the next moment he disappeared.

“Flynn!”

In an instant, Yuri was all alone. Forgetting about the knights, he raised his voice and yelled without thinking.

What in the world just happened? Yuri stood where Flynn had just been. He hadn’t gotten a good look, but it had looked like Flynn had been sucked into the wall.

The wall? Come to think of it, he had the feeling Flynn had been touching the wall. No matter how he looked at it, it looked just like a wall. Quietly, he raised his hand. Then, licking his lips, he thrust out his hand.

His eyes widened. The wall conveyed no hardness whatsoever, and his hand was buried in the wall from the wrist down.

In a panic, he jerked back his hand and confirmed there were no problems with it. He tried it again, but the result was the same.

Yuri was convinced. He didn’t understand how, but somehow this wall didn’t exist.

In which case…

So as not to hesitate, Yuri dove towards the wall in one go. Sure enough, there was no sensation at all — not.

His face collided with something soft. Yuri panicked and stopped, blinking.

In front of him was a familiar-looking back. Flynn was standing frozen in front of the entrance to a narrow street. Yuri had bumped into his back.

He turned around to look and saw only a wall where he had been. It stood there solidly, as if he hadn’t just passed through it. But it had to be an illusion.

Despite the spectacular collision, Flynn didn’t even turn around, and just stood there in silence. Noticing this, Yuri peeked over Flynn’s shoulder. His eyes widened, even more than when he had touched the wall earlier.

They were in an extremely small and narrow passageway, sandwiched between two buildings and ending in a dead-end. And sitting down and leaning against that wall in the back, was someone familiar.

They were wearing several layers of dark, baggy clothing. They had slumped down weakly, legs pointing in their direction. There was a different cloth tied tightly around one of their legs, damp — with blood. The cloth couldn’t staunch the blood, and it seeped out and splattered onto the ground in a spine-chilling pattern. He couldn’t see the wound, but it didn’t seem like a minor injury.

They had come this far carrying this injury. And they had done it not by running through the streets, but by jumping from roof to roof. Even the young boy could tell that was an incredible feat worthy of admiration.

But they must have pushed themselves quite a bit. They looked exhausted, and their shoulders were shaking as they breathed raggedly.

The ‘Dark Wings’.

But what surprised Yuri the most was something else. Despite the many layers they wore, their hood was askew, and the cloth covering their mouth was loose. With their face half-exposed, they stared back at the two boys. Yuri recognised those eyes, and that face.

No. Impossible. Yuri felt himself inhale sharply.

“Grandma Jiri.”

****

“Ah man, my cover’s been blown. And by you two of all people… I must be getting old. I wish I could stay young forever.”

It felt strange to hear a familiar voice coming from a figure that looked so different from their usual self. Especially since the image Yuri had of the thief in his mind was different from the actual person.

“I pushed myself just a little harder than usual, and this is the result. Serves me right. Haaah.”

Perhaps because of her injury and her fatigue, Jiri seemed more talkative than usual.

Yuri still couldn’t shake off his confusion, so he kept quiet and listened. The mysterious thief that targeted only nobles and the rich. The legendary chivalrous thief who distributed their loot to the poor. And the Jiri who devoted herself to washing clothes and cooking at ‘My Home’. The Jiri who tended to the fields alongside Hanks — the thief he thought was so far away from him, was actually right by his side all along — he was so shocked that he couldn’t think straight.

“So you really are Aunt Jiri. But then why—”

It was Flynn who had opened his mouth, but Jiri raised a hand to stop him from continuing.

“Sorry, but let’s leave that for later. We have to leave before the knights come back. Apologies in advance, but I’ll need you to lend me a hand. Yuri, check if the coast outside is clear.”

She tried to stand up and grimaced from the pain in her wound. Flynn rushed over to support her.

Various thoughts were finally beginning to converge in Yuri’s head. Grandma Jiri was the ‘Dark Wings’. He was surprised at first, but when he thought about it, it would be just like her to do something like this. What in the world did she steal, or try to steal? Since the knights had gotten so worked up over it, it must have been something big. Something important. Something like—

“Yuri.”

Yuri gave a start at that voice. It was a voice that pierced all the way to his bones, demanding that he respond immediately or suffer a fist flying his way. When he turned to look he saw Jiri and Flynn looking back at him.

Yuri hurried back to the wall he had previously walked through. No matter how many times he looked at it, he only saw a wall. He brought his face close to the wall until he was touching it — or not. His face went through the wall, and the view of the streets outside appeared right in front of his eyes. From an outsider’s perspective, it must have looked like a boy’s face had sprouted from the wall.

Yuri quickly looked left and right, checking for any signs of activity. He couldn’t hear a single sound. The knights must have advanced quite far in, or at least moved to a different block.

He pulled his head back and looked back at Jiri and Flynn.

“It looks like we’re in the clear.”

Jiri nodded, and then put her hand in her pocket and made some kind of groping motion.

Flynn let out a surprised yelp. When Yuri turned around, the wall had disappeared, leaving behind only the entrance to their alleyway.

“Was that… your doing, Aunt Jiri? What kind of—”

“It’s a holo blastia.”

“……A blastia!?!?”

“Let’s go.”

At Flynn’s urging, Jiri gritted her teeth and started walking. With every step she took, a pained breath escaped from her mouth. She stopped right in front of the gaping Yuri. Had she reached the limits of her endurance? But Flynn had a puzzled look on his face.

Jiri turned to look at Yuri. There was a familiar expression on her face, one he didn’t want to see.

“I haven’t forgotten how you called me Grandma just now.”

****

Fortunately the three of them made it out of the Grey Alleyways without running into any of the knights. Jiri and Flynn led the way, having memorised the way back.

After leaving the Grey Alleyway, they had to be on the lookout for not just the knights, but the residents of the lower quarter as well — after all, the world’s greatest and most notorious thief was walking around in broad daylight — but luckily, there was no signs that anyone had seen them.

Yuri had a mountain of questions he wanted to ask her, but he didn’t. At any rate they had to move quickly, and either way Jiri was in pain and bleeding, and had no energy to spare.

Even then they would stop from time to time to let Jiri rest, and check to see if they had left any trail of bloodstains behind them, and if there were, erase them to the best of their ability so they wouldn’t be found. They couldn’t say for sure if they had missed anything, and they didn’t know whether they had done a perfect job of erasing the traces that did exist. But in any case they had to avoid being tracked down later.

They were headed towards Hanks’ and Jiri’s house. Jiri had instructed them to do so. In other words, once they got there, she would be able to treat her injury, and he would have all the time in the world to ask what he wanted to know.

…Is what he thought, but when they finally reached her house, Jiri opened the front door a crack and slipped in. She immediately swung the door close, leaving only a small gap so they could only see her face.

“Well, I was somehow saved. You have my thanks. I’m sure you already know this, but don’t tell anyone what you saw today.”

“Aun—”

“Got it?”

“…G-Got it.”

Yuri instinctively tried to speak up, but Jiri completely shut him out, and in front of their eyes, the door slammed shut. He had wanted to say something, but he couldn’t find the right words. Come to think of it, Flynn hadn’t spoken much, or at all. What did he think about all of this? Just as Yuri opened his mouth to speak — the door opened again.

Jiri suddenly poked her head out. She raised an eyebrow and looked down at Yuri. It was so unbefitting of the current situation, he couldn’t tell what she was thinking.

Out of nowhere her fist swung down and struck the top of Yuri’s head. Sparks flew across his vision.

“Agh!??”

“That’s for calling me a grandma. I told you I didn’t forget.”

With that, the door closed again, and didn’t open again.

****

It seemed Jiri’s injuries were quite serious after all. Although she hid it by wearing clothing with long hems, to Yuri and Flynn who knew the situation, it was clear she walked while favouring one leg. She walked slowly, not to mention it looked like she wouldn’t be able to run for quite a while.

Still, the sight of Jiri working in the plaza the next day as if nothing had happened left Yuri and Flynn at a loss for words. They’d thought she’d been bed-ridden and unable to move for at least a few days.

“Won’t your wound reopen?”

When Yuri murmured that, Jiri shut him up with a look and prevented him from saying anything further. He started to be more careful after that as well.

It felt strange knowing that the ‘Dark Wings’ was right before his eyes, and on the contrary, the fact that he knew the truth made him feel a certain sense of superiority. But if he let it slip carelessly and it reached the knights’ ears, it would spell a disaster. Yuri understood that much.

He tried to find a time when no one was around to ask her his questions, but whenever he did some adult would always show up and ruin the opportunity. As Hanks’ wife, Jiri was often sought out for advice. Even though he understood that, he felt frustrated and impatient.

So Yuri went to the only other person he could talk to about this.

“If it weren’t for Grandma’s injury, we could have asked her to steal the panacea from that noble the other day.”

The situation hadn’t changed; there weren’t many jobs in the citizens’ quarter that paid well, and on the other hand Norein’s condition wasn’t looking good. The great thief, the ‘Dark Wings’ could probably steal one — as long as they didn’t make a mistake like the last time.

If possible he would have liked to obtain the medicine with their own efforts, but the situation was dire. They didn’t have the luxury of choice.

But Flynn showed no reaction to Yuri’s words. He stayed silent, as if he was depressed about something.

“Oii, Flynn?”

The lack of response made Yuri feel concerned. Flynn had a unique obsession with the knights — even as a child, he had taken an admonishing attitude towards the negligent knights. Yuri didn’t think it was possible, but was Flynn perhaps…

As if sensing Yuri’s thoughts, Flynn looked up at him.

“I’m not going to say it.”

Those words made Yuri feel awkward. But even so, there was something helpless, and unconfident about the way Flynn spoke.

“I won’t say it. But… I don’t know if the situation can carry on like this.”

“Hey, but Grandma’s doing what she’s doing for everyone’s sake, right?”

Flynn lifted his head to look at him. In the depth of his eyes swirled a whirlpool of confusion.

“……I don’t know. I really don’t know.”

Flynn stared at Yuri. Why can’t I think the same way you do? Those eyes of his seemed to look pleadingly at Yuri. Yuri didn’t know how to respond to him.

Flynn lowered his eyes.

“Either way, it’s as you said. We have to do something about the medicine.”

“……Yeah. Let’s go to the citizens’ quarter again. There might be work available.”

Neither of them believed Yuri’s words, but they both nodded anyway. It was as if they both wanted to escape from this topic of conversation.

Prev | Index | Next

#Tales of Vesperia #Danzaisha no Keifu #Tales of Vesperia: Genealogy of the Condemned #Genealogy of the Condemned #delicate posts #delicate translations #raise a hand if you were surprised at who [redacted] was because you didn't already spoil yourself with the tumblr novel summary post. yeah

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densi-mber · 6 months

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Densi-mber Day 3 Prompt

A/N: It’s been exactly a year since I last wrote something but Densi-mber always awakens my creativity. I feel like the story is a little but slow at the beginning, that it needs more dialogue. I’ll try to work on that for the next one.

Thank you for another year of Densi-mber¡ And thank you for reading¡

Set on early seasons, maybe 3-4.

***

Kensi’s day has been horrible. The morning started by missing her alarm to then realize that there was no coffee at home. Traffic was chaotic, as usual, which meant that she was later than she already was. Which also meant that Callen and Sam would mess with her all day. When Kensi arrived at the bullpen, it was too late to go to the gym; she really needed to vent off some stress from the past days, but that had to wait.

It was a slow day at OSP, as they had kind of lost the direction on the case. No one left to question, no place left to investigate. So the team focused on reviewing evidence they had been collecting for the past month, to see if there was something they missed. The mood was heavy as the case was staring to wear on them. To make it even worse, Deeks was reclaimed at LAPD at the beginning of the week.

If he was there, they could have had fun at least.

It was Kensi’ turn to buy lunch (as she was late this morning), so she spent another precious hour and a half stuck at traffic to find her favorite place closed. Another failure on her day. She hurried back to the sushi bar that was near the Mission, they ate quietly and began to work again.

But it seemed that the day was slowly getting better, as she received a message from Deeks saying that he would be back tomorrow. Kensi tried to hide the smile that the news put in her face but, fast enough, she came up with a (lame) excuse when the boys asked her. They began to tease her all over again, of course.

Once again, Thursday was trying to beat her and rain started pounding when they were leaving home. Kensi did like rain, but that meant even more traffic and that she couldn’t stop to have her favorite burger, as she would make it home too late and too exhausted to buy very much needed groceries.

When she arrived Walmart, she began collecting the necessary to make it to the weekend at least, paid and ran directly to the car, as rain was getting heavier. When she finished loading the Audi, she was soaked, hungry and tired.

The best part of her day? When she turned on the ignition the car didn’t start. Kensi groaned slowly, resting her head on the steering wheel, and starting to shiver from her wet clothes. She stared at the blurred lights from the gas station next to Walmart when her phone began ringing, it was Deeks. Kensi knew he was going to tease her for weeks, but she really needed help.

“So, Kensi the Great can fix her car? Told you Cadillac wasn’t a good choice.” He hadn’t stepped completely in her car yet, but he couldn’t wait to have the time of his life taunting her.

“The smart-ass has definitely arrived. You’re here to help or to be another problem in my day?” She missed him.

“Well, my services as a mechanic has a price.” Well, she maybe didn’t miss him that much.

“I’m not paying you, you still owe me 10 bucks from that stupid bet about the ducks and the hens.” She looked at him threatening.

“No Kensalina, you know that money has no value at all. I want to have three wishes and I want you to say that I’m the best thing that happened to you in the whole day.” The smile on his face was getting bigger with every word.

Kensi turned her face to his, a stern look in her eyes. “You’re delusional.”

“Okay, then goodnight, I hope the tow truck doesn’t take long.”

“Okay, okay, fine.” She really had no energy left.

“Okay fine, what?”

“Oh my god, you’re so…”

“Goodnight Kens¡” He began to step out of her car, slowly, he was so dramatic sometimes.

“Wait¡ You’ll have your three wishes and I admit that you’re the best thing that happened to my in the whole day. Happy?”

“Very much.”

They tried to start the car several times, checked everywhere and they concluded that the only solution was the tow truck. The car has been having some misfires lately due to an accident during their last persecution. So they finally called the insurance and they waited patiently in the car. Deeks offered to grab something to eat and let her decide whether to have pizza or burger.

“You know, you really don’t have to wait, you can go home, I’m pretty sure you’re tired.”

“You think I’m letting my partner alone, sitting in a car in the middle of the night?”

“Aw, you missed me¡” Kensi knew she started a battle she couldn’t win.

“No, you missed me. Callen told me you were sad and moping all day in the bullpen. He said that you gave up caffeine and that you were too tired to even work out. Thinking about me all night must be very exhausting.” Oh that little bastard…

“First of all, that was not what happened, and second…”

“Secondly.” Deeks received another threatening look for interrupting her.

“It’s second.”

“Secondly.” God, he loved to push her. Worst of all? She enjoyed it.

They discussed while eating, sharing their week and waiting patiently in the car. After finishing her burger, Kensi began to feel once again the cold from her wet clothes. He realized that she started to shiver. As Deeks started to take of his hoodie, she stopped him.

“Deeks, it’s okay. I’m not even that cold, I got used to it already.” She felt numb, as if the fatigue had drained all her feelings.

“Kens, you’re soaking wet, why haven’t you said anything?” He looked really concerned this time. Deeks continued taking his hoodie off and handed it to her, turning so she could take off her jacket and t-shirt comfortably.

“Better?”

“Yeah, perfect.” She looked at him with a really weird smile. Half shy, half confidential. His heart skipped a beat.

“Thank you.” It was almost a whisper.

“You don’t need to thank me.”

“This was not in you contract. To help me at any time, to buy me dinner or to give me your hoodie, that wasn’t what you’ve signed up for.” They had a better partnership than what they had at the beginning. Yet, that didn’t mean that they had to be available for each other for things like this. Her more professional part had to remind herself that statement most of the time.

“No it is not. But I do it because we’re friends. I do it because you get really cute when you’re angry. And most importantly, I do it because you would do the same for me. We’re here for each other, we’re not just partners. Or I like to think that at least.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry, I’m just not used to have someone like this.” After all, both were lonely and both new that their relationship was special. They were just not ready to admit it yet, or knew how to do it without having consequences.

They spent another night in her couch, talking for hours and laughing about how incorrect were the procedures in crime TV shows. Her day definitely got so much better.

*Sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language. J

#submission #ncisla-westaytogether

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rianafying · 4 months

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i’m having a really bad day emotionally. idk if it’s my period hormones or bpd but i’m just in a really sucky mood today. yesterday i recovered from one illness that i had since late jan. i’ve been desperately waiting to feel better and this morning i woke up with another kind of illness. and i’m doing my best to recover from this as well. and something triggered my abandonment response and im just having a really really hard time right now. and i can’t even freely talk about it to anyone or even write about it in my journal. i’m just. so sad right now. i’m not abandoned but i feel that way. i have been feeling abandoned for a while now and a small thing that happened last night really amped it up. then this morning i woke up with a crazy amount of physical pain and fever from said illness and im also severely dehydrated because i have been too upset to drink water so i’ve been forcing myself to drink lots of water all day. and had to take painkillers and sleep the fever off. all by myself. i hate being by myself. but it was worse when i was living with family back in bangladesh. somehow i felt even lonelier and more horrible there. lately i’ve had very little hope about myself and my future. i’m just going through a rough time mentally. so are my loved ones. i’m sobbing as i’m writing about this. this isn’t even bad. like it’s just my mental illness over reacting and my hormones possibly amplifying the negative emotions. but nothing terrible has actually happened it’s just that i wanted something and i can’t have it and even in my dreams, my desires plague me. it all sounds vague but that’s on purpose because i can’t openly talk about it. even when faced with much greater difficulty, i have handled things better but right now even though it’s not actually that bad, i feel exceptionally sad. i did my groceries. made the right decisions. i literally did my very fucking best today. and yet i feel nothing but awful awful awful. even some self hatred and self pity. i’m having a hard time trying to logic myself out of this one. maybe it just needs some time. the problem is that i don’t have all that much time to give. i have a class early tomorrow and it’s one of those classes that i really have to participate in and even though i normally look forward to this class, im dreading it right now. i dont have the energy to learn a whole bunch of things right now. and my friends invited me for drinks after classes, which is great but sucks because i literally have 5$ in my bank account to last me the whole week, and today was just monday. idk how this happened. actually i know exactly how this happened, i paid of my medical bills when i got paid this weekend. that’s why i have nothing left. but it’s a big relief. that i have paid off all my hospital debt. it’s a huge deal. and it’s done. now temporarily i’ll struggle a little but it’ll be okay soon. also it was just 11:11pm and i made a good wish. i’m going to try my best to bring it to fruition. rn im still a bit sick, and im not gonna beat myself up for having a bad couple of days. i know im doing my best. my best is not as good as other people’s but it’s mine. and i am choosing to go easy on myself. i’m feeling a fever coming back. the plan for the rest of the night is to maybe rest till my fever goes away. then watch the movies i downloaded w the library wifi, because guess what, i didn’t have money to get wifi this month. so i barely use my data and i try to download as much as i can at uni and at the library. it has been kind of good for me. to be off the internet mostly. this reminds me i should deactivate my instagram soon. idc if i loose my work flow. or maybe try to find balance between life offline and online. after i’m done resting and my fever subsides, ill boil some eggs and what not. i deserve to eat well. nvm im back to crying in my fetal position. oh god i feel so bad. i feel so bad right now. i can’t do anything about this. and the things that i can fix, i don’t. this is literally my life. crying about things i can’t control and ignoring the things i can control

this is the worst i have felt in 2024 so far. i’m so sad that it’s giving me a headache. i’m so disoriented and confused and tired and sad i don’t wanna do anything. i’m depressed as fuck. why does this happen to me. oh god i let a couple of hours pass, and i’m doing a little bit better. this is so stupid.

#personal #journal entry

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leet911 · 2 years

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Shelter

“Here we are,” Beatrice says, holding out a key for Ava. They’re on a side street, in front of an inconspicuous door to a nondescript building. “The owner agreed to let me rent it week to week as long as I paid for the first month in advance.”

Ava unlocks the door and steps inside as Beatrice moves their suitcases. The afternoon light is muted through the thick curtains covering all the windows. The apartment is small but fully furnished. The wallpaper isn’t very modern, and most of the furniture looks like it was from the previous century, but everything is serviceable. Ava walks through the apartment, peering in all the rooms, then stops at the last one. "This is it?"

"What's the problem?"

"There's only one bedroom."

Beatrice gives a forced smile to the floor. "We really don't have much money."

Ava points. "The bed is pretty small."

See, that’s the real problem. Because they’ve spent far too much time together in recent weeks. Maybe it’s the stress, or the proximity, or the constant exposure to each other. Maybe it’s because Beatrice doesn’t let Ava go anywhere without her protector, so they’re always together. Not that Ava minds. She likes being with Beatrice. Even if Beatrice does push her to be better, to try harder, to practice just one more time.

So Ava doesn’t know how she feels about sharing a bed with Beatrice. Sometimes she catches herself watching Beatrice, the way she moves with hidden power even when walking across a room, the way her lips form Ava’s name when she says it in that slightly exasperated tone. Sometimes Ava catches herself wondering what Beatrice smells like, what Beatrice’s chin would feel like in her hand, what her skin would taste like. And sometimes, Ava thinks Beatrice is watching right back, but that’s the mission, right?

Mother Superion had been very clear. Lay low. Stay safe. Train. Be ready.

Ava looks down at the bed, and she doesn’t feel safe. Or ready.

Beatrice appears behind her in the doorway. "We can sleep in shifts. I work most nights at the bar."

“Do you work tonight?”

"Yes."

“Then why don’t you take a nap before your shift?”

“Ok.” Beatrice places a hand on Ava’s back, nudges her out of the way so Beatrice can step into the room. “Wake me up in two hours?”

“Yeah.”

Ava paces their new apartment while Beatrice sleeps, familiarizes herself with the layout and entrances, learns which walls to phase through for the best shortcuts, or emergency exits. Twice, she pauses in front of the bedroom door to check on Beatrice, but there’s no sound or motion beyond rhythmic breathing. Beatrice left the door ajar, of course, so she could hear in case of any emergency. On her second pass, Ava thinks of crawling in next to Beatrice, but she dispels the notion just as quickly. There’s no way that would go undetected.

When Beatrice wakes up and gets ready for work, Ava watches her from the chair. Beatrice is dressed casual, ordinary, but to Ava she is anything but. It’s as if removing the habit this time made Beatrice more free, more herself, even if the iron will of a Sister Warrior was still there, just under the surface. And Ava doesn’t know if Beatrice really looks the part of a bartender, because she hasn’t been to enough bars to tell.

Beatrice slips on her shoes and pauses with her hand on the door. “I work until closing, so don’t wait up.”

“Yeah.”

“And Ava, please don’t go out by yourself, it isn’t—”

“Safe,” Ava finishes for her. “I know.”

Beatrice gives a tight half smile even as her eyes fall. “I’m sorry.” And it’s only Beatrice’s sincerity that makes this bearable. Because Ava knows if there were anything Beatrice could do to make this easier for Ava, she would.

“I’ll be here when you come home.”

Beatrice’s face softens. “Thank you.” And she’s out the door.

After she’s gone, Ava goes back to the bedroom and curls up under the sheets where Beatrice had lain. A small tendril of warmth still lingers in the bed, but the smell of Beatrice permeates. Ava breathes deep and lets herself rest.

#warrior nun #warrior nun spoilers #avatrice #fanfiction #no plot just vibes #they were roommates #there was only one bed

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bugbyte · 8 months

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Can’t sleep, time to write. Health stuff, but in the good way, mostly! I got fitted for my wheelchair! My genetic test is sequencing! It’s exciting and I’m trying to distract myself from the rest of everything in my life!!

So, wheelchair appointment. More complex than I thought; several guys from the company that orders and services them, a physical therapist, and me.

They had me try out two chairs - one that’s more of a scooter thing which I did not love and a lightweight manual one with this really cool thing called a SmartDrive that optionally makes it powered, which I absolutely loved. Main guy from the equipment co. was insistent I would do better in the scooter type chair, and got a little ‘splainy with me in ways I didn’t really like, but in the end I tested both and I’m going with the lightweight one.

The scooter thing did break down into a couple pieces so it can fit in the car, but the problem is I could never lift any of them on my own. The motor portion is like 30 pounds by itself. I just want the option to be able to manage alone if I end up in that kind of situation - which could happen if I’m visiting my parents or something, because they’re old and couldn’t do it either. Or if I just want to go out somewhere, heck, I don’t have to justify why I want to go places. That was sort of a strange argument to have to make.

There definitely was a learning curve to the smartdrive, but it felt delightful to use. Basically the motor is only ever on or off, with a dial for speed, and then you have to use hand grip on the manual wheels to turn. More complicated than the joystick on the other one but I weirdly felt like I had better control. It felt like going for a walk, normally. Delade and I took a lap of the building and it was just this swell of joy because we haven’t been able to do that in a really long time. I could have cried. I cannot wait to go places again and be able to do things for more than 10 minutes before my legs are on fire and all my blood is in my feet.

Anyway I got to pick a color and it’s gonna be Ferrari Red™️ (did they license that? Prob not) and I’m gonna get flame stickers to put on it. Needs a name, haven’t thought of one, yet.

So! Genetic test! My health insurance has been jerking us around so long that the university hospital I’ve been going to just got disgusted and said they would pay for it themselves. I still have to try and fight them to get the uni paid back, but if I fail I still won’t get billed for it. They should get paid though, they’re amazing people doing incredible work.

So I swabbed out my cheeks and put it in tubes and mailed it out as a Biohazard (I’m a biohazard!!) all of which was not terribly exciting but also very exciting. The collection bits looked like cotton swabs but weren’t. Left my cheeks feeling scuffed, but not like bleeding or anything. Just a strange feeling and it’s basically already gone.

The test is out, and I got access to a tracking portal with info on its status and it’s sequencing right now. The portal had a list of all the genes they’re testing for and I just had this wild moment of humbling. So the first human genome was fully sequenced in 2000. I took biology in college around 2005, and so much of it still was kind of new-ish, but we learned a bunch about it. I figured out now I can grab the individual gene names and plug them into a search on GeneCards and it really is just…humbling. I’m far from very knowledgeable about this stuff but I know enough to sort of piece it together and see what does what, what they’re looking for. I just have this sense of awe that this is even possible, like if I had been born just handful of years sooner we wouldn’t have this yet. Anyway I’m probably going down a genetics rabbit hole for a while. It’s human legos. I’m fascinated. Or maybe I’m just having an emotional week.

Anyway we decided to play a friendly game of Gene Roulette and I know where I’m putting my money, however unlikely it might actually be. I just have a gut feeling about one of them, but I’m going to sit on it and see.

Anyway that’s the exciting good news, amid all the sadness around here. Grief continues. I have no idea when I’ll be able to afford something like this, but I decided I’m getting my cat’s paw prints tattooed on my leg in the spot where he would always put them when he came to just sit with me while I was in pain. Always just a little above my right knee, slightly to the outer part of my thigh. Then he’ll still be sitting there with me, always.

We keep talking about getting another cat, but someday. Not yet. We’re not in a situation that could handle an emergency, should something bad happen, and honestly I think I’m just going to have to grit it out for a while while the hole in my heart tries to fill in. Do I ever want a little snuggle creature to pet and hold, though.

#blog #healthposting #hypermobility #mobility aid #wheelchair #genetics #dealing with grief #grief

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danceswithsporks · 1 year

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On the second day of Bad Batchmas I gave to all of yooouuuu!!

Tech loosing his gloooooves!

I’ve decided to write little snippets as we wait for the boys to return from getting milk. Err…Season 2.

Now this will take place in the universe I’ve built for my fic A Star Above the Rest! Some may be sneak peaks at future events, little glimpses into past events, or things I wanted to do but couldn’t work into the story! I hope you all enjoy them and Happy Holidays!

Day 2 of the 12 days of Bad Batchmas: Tech looses his gloves.

“You checked the training room?” Zirena sat on one of the tables in the guys barracks. Watching the analytical clone rip the place apart in search of his gloves.

“Yes.”

“The showers?”

“Yes.”

“Marauder?”

“Of course.”

Tipping her head from side to side in thought, Zirena tried to think of where else the gloves could be. “Laundry room?”

An annoyed sigh came from Tech as he closed Wreckers trunk. “First place.”

“Oh.” Well she was honestly out of ideas at this point. “Guess that means we just have to get you new ones.” Jumping off the table, the Jedi walked over to Tech before stretching. “Sounds like a trip to Coruscant is in order.” Thanks to Padme, she’d really developed a taste for shopping.

Tech didn’t exactly like the idea of just giving up on finding them. He made a face to Zirena as she picked up her robe and pulled it on. “Perhaps we should look through everything once more?”

“Tech. We’ve checked three times now. They’re not here.” Shrugging, she picked up his datapad and passed it to him. “I came back here for us to update BD together. I only have today to do that. We can get you new gloves.”

In his panic to find his gloves, he’d completely forgotten why Zirena was even there. How much time had they wasted looking for them? Taking the datapad from her he checked and groaned. He’d wasted over four hours looking. “I don’t exactly get paid as nicely as you do, Representative. I’d much rather find those gloves before using a large portion of my pay for a new pair.”

“I’ll get them. Count them as a thank you for teaching me how to do BDs maintenance myself.” Credits were surprisingly no longer an issue for her and she really didn’t mind spending said money on her friends.

“I guess that would be acceptable.” Chewing his lip as he followed her out of the room, Tech found that he couldn’t stop from thinking about the gloves.

-*-

“I’m really excited to try this Zipline upgrade! We could try that wire that goes between this platform and platform 3?” Zirena couldn’t stop the giggle coming from her. “Just don’t tell Rex.”

“Uh huh.”

Zirena stopped and looked at him, was he even listening? “Yeah I figured I could do it naked, give everyone a good show.”

Tech continued to look through his datapad for any clue as to where he may have left the gloves. “Sounds fun.”

“Yeah and whoever catches me, I’ll fuck.” Now she waited to see if he caught what she said.

“That a great ide-“ Tech looked up at Zirena in utter shock of what she had said. “What?”

“Took you long enough.” Crossing her arms, she waited for an explanation.

“Sorry, it seems I was lost in thought.” The way she was looking at him let him know that she had been joking.

“The gloves?” When he nodded to her, she sighed softly. “Tell me why these gloves are so important?” She’d never seen any of the others this worried over gloves.

“When I was still a cadet, I always left my gloves in odd places. The training room, the droid maintenance hatch, even the refresher.” Smiling at the memory coming forward, he continued to speak. “General Shaak Ti was constantly getting requisition forms from me for new gloves. I guess I hit my limit at some point because she approached me one day with a gift. Inside was a pair of gloves unlike the others.”

“The gloves you lost?”

Tech nodded as they continued down the hallway. “You may have noticed they feel different from the others, and weigh differently as well. That’s because they’re made out of a non conductive material that protects my hands from shocks. They’re also made to breathe so my hands don’t become sweaty. They had to have set her back by a lot.”

“That’s sweet of her to buy you gloves though.” Master Shaak Ti was always kind like that. She looked out for everyone and cared deeply.

“It was. I’ve always been careful about placing them down. I don’t wish to lose them since they hold so much value to me.” Losing them would be like losing a dear friend. Not many clones received gifts from the Togruta Jedi Master.

Zirena stopped outside her suite door and began to put in her code. “I’m sure they’ll turn up soon. Usually these things appear when you stop looking for them.”

Perhaps she was right. Perhaps it would be wise to take a break and look later. “You’re right. For now, let’s take a look at the droid.”

The sound of her door sliding open filled the room and for a moment it was silent and dark. Then the lights flipped on and BD stood on the kitchen island. A little box was in front of him and the droid happily whistled at the sight of Tech. “Surprise!” Zirenas bright smile filled the room as other came out of hiding.

“W-what?” Tech looked at his brothers as they smiled or smirked at him. Cross sat in the windowsill watching the group while Hunter, Echo, Rex, and Wrecker approached the two.

“It’s a surprise party! For you!” Omega bounced excitedly on the couch, a bar of Chandrilian chocolate in her hand.

How much candy had she had? The poor child looked like her eyes would bust out of her skull. “For me? Why?”

“To thank you for everything you do for us.” Zirena smiled as she carried the box over to Tech, BD on her shoulder whistling a tune.

“You keep our gear constantly upgraded with the latest tech. The ship is always running at her best.” Hunter placed a proud hand on his brother's shoulder.

“Don’t forget all the cool stuff he makes us!” Wrecker grabbed Omega right before she dove off the couch. “Woah, maybe you should cut back on the sugar.”

Zirenas laugh filled the room as everyone watched Omega. The poor girl was no doubt riding a sugar high. “You do so much for everyone, it’s only right we celebrate that. As a way of saying thank you.” Holding the package out to him, she smiled excitedly. “Open it.”

“You didn’t need to do this.” He never put too much thought into helping everyone. They were his family, his friends. Helping them helped everyone in the long run. But he accepted the gift graciously before opening it. Inside sat his gloves, though they looked better then they’d looked before. “I don’t understand.”

“We had them cleaned, restitched, patched and the lining redone.” Echo smiled as Tech pulled them on. His fingers flexed a few times to test the material. “How do they feel?”

Tech loved how they felt “Amazing, like new. How did you even manage to get them?”

It was Omegas turn to speak and she made sure it was known. “I” was screamed loudly as she tried to climb up Wrecker's arms. “Grabbed them when you were daydreaming about Zirena after Echo showed you that picture of her at the beach!” A hand was clamped over her mouth as Hunter tried to silence her.

A stifled laugh came from Zirena as Techs face became red. Rex couldn’t stop his eyebrow from going up at the new information. “From when the five oh and the two twelfth went on leave?”

“Yeah!” Omega had pulled Hunters hand down to quickly speak. “Fives sent Echo photos of all of you! But all of their favorite is the one of Zirena sunbathing!”

Whoever said having a sister was a blessing, obviously never had actually survived with a young sister. Tech sighed as Zirena giggled more. “It’s not what you think, Sir.” His eyes looked at Rex, hoping the Captain wasn’t angry.

“ I liked that outfit.” Was pured to Zirena by Rex. “You looked damn good in it. Next time we’ll make sure the batch is invited.”

“Oh that would be so much fun!” Zirena smiled at Tech. “Glad to know you liked it too.” With a wink she stepped over and picked his hand up to inspect the gloves. “Just maybe don’t bring these, don’t wanna get sand all over them.”

Tech chuckled in agreement. “Yeah, would rather these not get ruined so quickly.” Reaching over he pulled the Jedi into a tight hug. “Thanks, Zee.” Pulling away he looked at the others. “Thanks all of you. But if you ever take my gloves like that again, I’ll share all of your search histories.”

#tbb wrecker #tbb echo #tbb omega #tbb tech #tbb crosshair #tbb rex #tbb fic #star wars oc #clone wars oc #glooooves #mama likes gloves and Tech #so both just work

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