#I suppose fanfics still work if one is just writing a scenario rather than a story that may build on the questions still unanswered

[syncopatedid]

That feeling that you can't even write fan fiction for Link Click until the finale of the 10th season because canon will threaten to unravel every headcanon you wrote by the next episode.

[utilitycaster]

Daggerheart Character Build thoughts!

I am actually out at work and haven't checked the version that's since come out, but I did participate in the character build beta, and the NDA is officially lifted, so here's my thoughts from that! It's definitely limited since I just made a L1 character and didn't go through gameplay, though I surmise about some aspects of gameplay.

Overall, it clearly seems to be made by people who love a lot of things about D&D 5e but wanted both more flexibility and more simplicity, which is difficult. I think they succeed.

To that end, it takes away some of the crunchier aspects (precise positioning, exact amounts of gold) and I think for some people that will be a problem, and that's valid, but ultimately this game wants to both allow for interesting mechanics in and out of combat while also not being terribly math/map/resource management heavy. It is a hard line to walk; most systems either go hard crunch or go entirely gooey.

The dice mechanic (2d12, Hope and Fear system) is fantastic; look it up but I think it handles mixed successes more gracefully and interestingly than a lot of games.

The playtest was not super clear on armor and evasion choices (or indeed what evasion means; it seems to be sort of initiative but sort of dex save, or maybe more like the Pathfinder/old school D&D varying ACs by scenario?). It was much, MUCH clearer than D&D on weapon choices (part of why I play casters? Weapon rules in D&D are annoying and poorly explained and many people rightfully ignore them) so I'm hoping this becomes clear when there's a full guide rather than just the character creation info.

The character creation questions by class were fantastic and in general, and this is a theme, this feels like it guides people towards collaboration. FWIW I feel like D&D has that information, but the way it's presented is very much as flavor text rather than a thing you should be doing. Daggerheart makes this a much more core part of creation. The Experience mechanic is particularly clear: you better be working with your GM and really thinking about background, rather than slapping it on as a mechanic.

The other side of character creation questions is that it really encourages engagement with the class, which is something I've talked about. I think either subversion for the sake of subversion, or picking a class for the mechanics and aesthetic but not the fundamental concept, will be much harder to justify in Daggerheart, and I think that's a good thing because when people do that, their characters tend to be weaker.

The downtime is designed for you to write hurt/comfort fanfic about and this is a compliment. There are a number of mechanics that reward RP, particularly one of the healing mechanics under the Splendor track. I feel like a weakness of D&D is that when you try to reward RP it's really nebulous because there's not actually a ton of space to put that - you can give inspiration, but, for example, the empathy domain Matt homebrewed actually feels kind of off because it's based on such fuzzy concepts amid mechanics that are usually more rigid. Daggerheart comes off as much cleaner yet still RP-focused, and I'm excited to see it in action.

A judgement of Candela and I suppose Daggerheart might be that it's designed for actual play. I've mentioned before that I know people who are super into the crunch and combat and numbers of TTRPGs and are less story-oriented, and again, that's valid, but actual play is just storytelling using a ttrpg and so yes, a game that encourages RP while also having mechanics to support that and influence it is an extremely good goal. I am not an actual player, but I do like D&D games with a good plot and not just Go Kill Monsters, and I want to play this. (I also have some real salty thoughts about how if you modify an existing game for AP purposes that's staggering genius apparently, but if you make your own game how dare you but that's another post).

And now, the classes/subclasses. I am going to sort of use D&D language to describe them because that's a point of reference most people reading this will understand, but they are not one-to-one. A couple notes: everyone can use weapons and armor. HP is not totally clear to me but it seems to be threshold based - everyone has the same HP to start but people have different thresholds and armor, so the tank classes have the same amount of HP but are much harder to actually do damage to.

All classes are built on a combination of a subclass and two domains. There are 9 classes and 9 domains. This technically means that if you wanted to fuck around and homebrew you could make up to 36 classes (27 additional) by just grabbing two domains that weren't otherwise combined, which is fun to consider for the potential. Anyway I cover the classes and briefly describe domains within them. You can take any domain card within your domain, regardless of subclass.

There are six stats. Presence, Instinct, Knowledge, and Strength map roughly to Charisma, Wisdom, Intelligence, and Strength. Dex is split into Agility and Finesse; Agility covers gross motor skills (jumping, most ranged weapons, "maneuvering") and Finesse finer ones (lockpicking and tinkering, though also it does cover hiding). The really big wins are first, no CON score, so you don't need to sink stat points into something that grants no skills but keeps you alive. The second one is that the "hybrid" classes spellcast from their physical stat. This is fucking fantastic. The thing about ranger or paladin or the spellcasting subclasses of rogue and fighter in D&D is that if you don't roll pretty well you're locked into the core stats and CON and nothing else. (This also doesn't have rolling for stats: you assign +2 to one stat, presumably your main, and then distribute two +1s, two 0s, and one -1.)

Your HP, Evasion, and Thresholds are set by class, and there's a core ability; the rest is all from the cards you take for subclass and domain.

Leveling up is very much based on taking more domain cards (abilities) but has a certain degree of flexibility. It's by chunks: in leveling up anywhere levels 2-4, you can, for example, increase your proficiency by +1 once, so if you wanted to do that at level 2 but your fellow player wanted to wait until level 4 and take something else at level 2 instead, they could. It allows for more min-maxing, but also everyone has the same level up rules and differs only in the abilities on the cards, which is very cool.

Bard: Grace (enchantment spells) and Codex (learned spellcaster stuff; the spells available are definitely arcane in vibes) based, Presence is your main stat. The two subclasses map roughly to lore-style stuff and eloquence. Core class ability is sort of like inspiration but not entirely. It's a bard; I like bards a lot, and this is very similar vibes-wise to your D&D bards. If you like D&D bards you will like this.

Druid: Sage (nature spells) and Arcana (raw magical power spellcaster stuff), Instinct is your spellcasting/main stat. The two subclasses are elemental but frankly cooler than circle of the moon, and a more healing/tranquility of nature focused one. I really think Marisha probably gave feedback on this one, because the elemental version is really strong. You do get beastform; it is quite similar to a D&D druid under a different system, as the bard, but the beastform options are, frankly, better and easier to understand.

Guardian: Valor (melee tank/damager) and Blade (damage). Strength based for the most part (Valor mechanics assume strength) though you could go for like, +2 Agility +1 Strength to start. This is barbarian but like. 20 times better. It is, fundamentally, a tank class, and it is very good at it, with one even more tank-focused subclass and one that is more about retaliatory damage. You do have a damage-halving ability once per day, but really guardian's questions are incredible. I think Travis and Ashley likely gave feedback. Also rage doesn't render you incapable of concentration as that doesn't seem to be a thing, so multiclassing seems way more possible (you are, I think, only allowed to do one multiclass, and not until you reach level 5 minimum, which I am in favor of). Yes, you can be a Bardian.

Ranger: This is what I built! It is based on Sage and Bone (movement around the field/dodging stuff) and it is Agility-based, including for spellcasting, which is a MASSIVE help (as is, again, the fact that CON isn't a thing.) The subclasses are basically being really good at navigation, or animal companion. Most importantly to me you can be a ranger with a longsword and you are not penalized; Bone works with either ranged weapons or melee.

Rogue: Midnight (stealth/disguise/assassination spells and skills) and Grace-based. Yes, rogue is by default a spellcaster, which does help a LOT with the vibes for me. One subclass is basically about having lots of connections (as a spy or criminal might) and the other is about magical slinking about. Hiding/sneak attack are also streamlined. I will admit I'm still more interested in…almost everything else, but I think it evened out a lot of rogue weaknesses.

Seraph: Splendor (healing/divine magic) and Valor. This is your Paladin equivalent. It is strength-based for casting, again making hybrid classes way less stressful. Questions for this area also incredible; you do have something not unlike a lay on hands pool as well. Your subclasses are being able to fly and do extra damage; or being able to make your melee weapon do ranged attacks and also some extra healing stuff, the latter of which is my favorite. Yasha vibes from this, honestly. Single downside is this is the only class where they recommend you dump Knowledge. I will not, and I never will. Now that I don't have to make sure CON is high? I am for REAL never giving myself less than a +1 Knowledge in this game.

Sorcerer: Arcana (raw nature of magic/elemental vibes) and Midnight based. Yes, sorcerers and rogues now share a vibe, for your convenient….less enthused feelings. Instinct-based, which intrigues me, and the core features are in fact really good. The two subclasses are either one that focuses on metamagic abilities, or one that is elemental based. I would play this for a long-running game, though it's not my favorite, and I can't say that for D&D sorcerer (except divine soul).

Warrior: Blade and Bone, and the recommended build is Agility but you could do a strength build. Fighter! One subclass is about doing damage and one is about the hope/fear mechanics core to the game that I have NOT talked much about. I will admit, the hybrid martials and Guardian are more interesting to me but you do have good battle knowledge.

Wizard: Codex and Splendor. Wizards can heal in this system; farewell, I will be doing nothing else (jk). Knowledge-based, and you can either go hardcore expertise in knowledge, or be a battle wizard.

Other scattered thoughts: healing is not as big a deal here; there is no pure cleric class! There is also no monk, warlock, or artificer. There is not a way to do monk as a weaponless class really though you might be able to flavor the glowing rings as a monk weapon and play a warrior. Wizard, meanwhile, with the right experiences and high finesse, would allow for some artificer flavor. Cleric and Warlock are the two tough ones and I will admit those are tricky; I feel like you'd have to multiclass (which you cannot do until level 5) between perhaps seraph and a caster class and you're still going to come off very paladin.

[lavellenchanted]

13, 16, 24?

13. What character would be your best friend in real life?

Answered here.

16. Rant about anything book related

I have so many book rants in me you have no idea a lot of which are more publishing industry related rather than reader related but inspired by an Instagram reel I saw earlier, I'm gonna rant for a minute about how much I hate the fanfic-ifcation of published original fiction and the fact that fiction marketing now seems to almost solely consist of paint-by-tropes.

So, this Instagram reel was an book blogger recommending a new fiction book (one that is literally called The Fake Dating Game) and listing "5 reasons to read this book". By the end of the video, I knew the book involved fake dating and a game show but I still know nothing about what the actual plot of the book is. Tropes are building blocks, they're not plot.

The reason talking about tropes with fanfiction works is because fanfiction is rooted in the idea that you are writing about an existing property. Your readers will already know who these characters are, be familiar with their core traits and values and what's shaped them. The point of fanfic is to drop those characters in different scenarios and tease out how different circumstances work with those core traits and values and how you can map their histories/pasts into these new stories. There is a baseline understanding and an already established interest.

You cannot do that with original fiction. With original fiction we don't know anything about the characters or setup and just listing tropes doesn't tell us anything about what you're doing with them.

To use an analogy:

Fanfic is like having had a full meal and knowing what it's supposed to taste like and what works, and then playing with the recipe a bit and switching up ingredients to see how it comes out and creating something new that's still recognisably tied to the original dish. So of course you're gonna talk about what ingredients you're using.

Marketing original fiction with tropes is trying to convince someone to try a new meal they've never had before, but only reeling off a list of ingredient and not explaining anything about how you're cooking them or what the end product is.

Honestly I'm a point now where if I see a book being shared just with a list of tropes and no actual plot description I'm gonna refuse to read it out of spite - but I also can't entirely blame the industry because I work in book marketing, I know how hard it is, and the books that 'go viral' and sell in their thousands are unfortunately the ones that can be packaged up into neat little boxes and tropes that get attention on TikTok and Instagram, regardless of the actual quality of the book.

24. First book(s) you remember being obsessed with

Answered here but shout out as well to the Mallory Towers books, which I absolutely adored.

book asks

[oblivionbladetd]

The Unfortunate implications of basically all of Lily's work: 99 tabs of tvtropes and a wiki.

This one's a doozy, but I'll be damned if it's not one that needs covered. As anyone who's taken a critical look at the infamous list of 100 tips could tell you, it's full of tvtropes jargon. While it will take a while to explain in full why this is awful, a shorthand exists that sums it up, "putting the cart before the horses." As in you shouldn't be pre-planning tropes at all, for like the concept of genre, it is often ascribed to the work in post. Though even that explanation is a little too economic, so as always, check under the cut for more.

I think a practical demonstration is in order, so let me set a stage. Superman has just recovered from being thrown through a wall by Darkseid, roughs him up until they are outside, talks about how dainty the world feels to him, and assesses Darkseid is capable of not dying to Supermans 'normal' and badda boom badda Bing, the codifying moment for The World of Cardboard Speech! Sure, there's literal seasons of context missing, and it notably doesn't include the ensuing beat down and subsequently bamboozling of Supe. Just him saying world made of Cardboard and presumably having the chops to deliver.

There in lies the crux of the issue. You always lose something when you boil down to tropes. As with the above example, all the little details on what makes the moment so iconic, recontextualizing the seasons of willful weakness, the implications that Superman is still not going all out and is just 'cutting loose' for the first time, none of that actually matters to the trope in a vacuum. Not to mention, one could easily break the world of cardboard speech into even more tropes or let it be absorbed into bigger, vague-er tropes.

Tropes have their place in making larger concepts more digestible and give valuable perspective in how and why these tropes crop up, but it's necessary to remember that even simple characters can embody dozens upon dozens of individual tropes! To a point that indeed trying to think about a character by just their tropes becomes an effort in arbitrarity, if not futility. Tropes are trends other people find in a work and decide to break down into small digestible chunks. Less a bible and more a smattering of quotes loosely bound together. If you are writing in accordance with tropes, you are almost inevitably trying to churn out a finished product first try, for you aren't making organic characters and scenarios, you're ticking boxes on a list. Making a personal experience impersonal. Never write with Tvtropes open.

This leads us to the equally important, but needing far fewer explanations, wiki's. Most commonly referred to as info dumping grounds for the fandoms they are built for. While being easier to sum up than tropes, it has the same glaring issue in that it rarely paints the full picture as its purpose is to speak the facts of the matter rather than live in the moment. Goes without saying that, especially as a creator, it is all too easy to pack it full with worthless knowledge and call that exercise in procrastination somehow productive.

That's when it hit me, and I knew I needed to sit down and say it. Lily has wiki's for her fanfics and tvtropes pages for them as well. The Pokemadhouse wiki, we have confirmation that she's actually did write it. The rest are only suspected, as unlike Lily, I have too much integrity to boldfacedly lie even when I'm probably right. Though enough being petty, for it hit me really hard in one key way in that creators are most certainly NOT supposed to be writing these pages, and the fact she has leaves open some unfortunate implications.

Firstly, if we are to assume that these exist as reference for Lily, that's an ill omen. It frames her work in the light of a dispassionate data keeper, for no amount of tropes will encompass a properly rounded character, along with forever fattening a public wiki page implies viewing every detail as necessary and that will be addressed in a future comic. Hell, even if Lily wasn't subject to the skewed priorities that the websites can encourage... it's still leaving your notes in a public space made for people to read. You aren't allowed to be mad that people say shit about it. Your computer came with the Notepad app.

On the flip side, the more likely explanation is vanity. It is in truth that having a tvtropes page and / or a wiki dedicated to your work is actually a huge honor, a golden glittering beacon of fan engagement as they compare notes and keep their facts straight. The fact that her tvtropes and wiki's are self authored as an attempt to fluff her ego or make her one of the big shots of the fandom world is as hilarious as it is utterly pathetic. And it is pathetic. It paints a picture of fanatical control of what people think and / or simply not being able to drum up enough fan engagement that anyone considers wiki tending worth the effort. It's literally a scam! "Look! this fic has wiki's and tvtropes pages it must be good!" Don't make me laugh. It's a chest full of medals of honor that all suspiciously look like glazed clay secured to dollar store ribbons with crazy glue.

With all that said, it really boggles my brain that people excuse the allegations leveled against Lily. Half-baked contrarian critiques and fanfiction's so unengaging that she has to manufacture the engagement herself? That's more than enough to just ignore all the real hurt she's caused to real people? The tales of Brittany, Courtney, Sunny, and Lizzy are meaningless under the ultimate creative potential of somebody who can't even both change the cadence of her voice when she's playing with her sock puppets? That somebody operates with this prolific combination of cluelessness and Vanity is just above consequences? You have to be fucking kidding me. This is why I'll be poking holes in her work. It's not that good, and definitely not on any level where anybody should avoid at least acknowledging all the awful she both has done and still perpetuates.

Pokemadhouse is nowhere near good enough, along with the things Lily is accused of being so heinous that i do hate to imagine anyone could look at Lily typing this in reference to a fictional caricature of her wife

And be anything less than deeply concerned.

[sailorblossoms]

I’ve thought about this as if I was planning it to write a fanfic, but I’m not going to, so I might as well share it here.

I’ve been pretty firm on my “no way they did that shit more than once” regarding Simon and Agatha having sex whenever I talk about it (after all, the books mention it like it’s more of a concept: it’s not “it was always just going through the motions” it’s simply “it was just going through the motions”, it doesn’t ever give you quantity) (arguments of them doing it multiple times make me feel a bit insane – how would that even work with two teens with no attraction at all and with barely any time to be alone together? When time alone together would have taken work?) (Ideas of Simon specifically being the one asking for it while Agatha has to bear it and do it like a favor can’t possibly be rooted in anything the actual books say.) But I guess I can be convinced that they could have tried twice, maybe 3 times at most just to see if things going wrong was just “first-time nerves” and if it would improve... I can envision two scenarios:

Simon's reaction to "Does Wellbelove [appreciate a job well done]?" as if this was a sore spot already makes me suspect "performance issues" ... (also, the way Simon's magic worked implies he can't get worked up, ever – had he wanted or "enjoyed" it in any way, we would have heard about this being a problem in some way, and it would have prevented them from going far anyway because his magic actually hurts Agatha)

1. Who’s to say they could actually get to penetration without issue. Maybe Agatha's discomfort and pain were too much, so it stopped at when they were still attempting it. A following attempt* (attempt at "making it work" – we know it never did) would be about trying to “succeed” at penetration.

2. In any scenario, I don’t think it was pleasurable or good for either party (hence "not working"). Agatha’s wording evokes discomfort and responsibility (perhaps even duty). Before Baz, Simon shows he can only understand pleasure by using food, shows he doesn’t understand the point of sex, and part of why he struggles with it is because he has no experience feeling. Supposing they could fully get to penetration in the first attempt, I don’t think it got to any form of release (if it did, negative orgasms that can result from “going through the motions” don’t feel good; they can even feel painful) (this would also apply to scenario 1, supposing they "succeed" at penetration in a second attempt etc). At any rate, I think it’s likely Simon struggled with keeping an erection (arousal non concordance explains how he could even get it in the first place, despite not being into it; the body responds to touch even if the mind would rather be somewhere else) maybe going flaccid even while inside. This is something that could be brushed off as “just nerves” or as something that can just happen during first times (it can) (not being into it can already result in this, added pressure and stress can make this outcome even more likely) (the last two apply even among heterosexual people who are really into the person they’re with). Either way, a following attempt would add more nerves and pressure after a bad precedent (also pretty effective to kill an erection) so it would be harder to get further or to “improve” the previous attempt. Simon mentioning the UTI when Baz is trying to get away could be an association that goes back to Agatha using it to end “the encounter” and avoid cuddling or whatever afterward (i remember someone noting this too, but to say it stayed with Simon because it happened a lot and to that I say… that kind of shit doesn’t need to happen more than once to stay, especially if it’s happening when they’re attempting something new and it doesn't go well).

The thing with them is that they would not be willing to work through this. They would not have the drive, passion, or motivation. Their relationship wasn’t like that anyway; they were all about brushing it aside, about not wanting to talk about the hard parts. You can see that with Simon’s reaction, whenever Agatha tries to talk about what happened with Baz (nothing happened) (one could argue this is not at all about Agatha wanting to “work through” shit, but perhaps wanting to alleviate potential guilt she might have felt… no, she didn’t cheat, but wasn’t part of her contemplating it when she followed Baz, hoping for a kiss when she was trying to find a spark? Herself?).

You can see through lines like “candle in the wind” how pressure would have led to this, because “everyone else is doing it” and maybe even talking about “how great it is” (and how Simon might have been in a position to consider needing “help” but being uninterested in it – he's not interested in making it work with her, not really...). In “we were together for a long time” as an explanation, meaning it only happened after they have already been together for a long time (otherwise how long they have been together wouldn’t be relevant, if it was happening a couple of months into the relationship for instance). In Agatha indicating, in context, something that could be (besides curiosity) a distraction or a way to delay doing more (counting every mole) (she’s describing physical closeness to Simon in a very unappealing way in this scene) while at the same time, Simon’s reaction is to cover the very thing that's making Agatha remember, to adopt a posture where he’s closing himself off, where he’s “protecting himself”, where he’s indicating he doesn’t want her to see him, all in the context of a clinical setting when Simon is in distress. Also: Simon not wanting to be left alone with her then, etc etc. (There’s more on Simon’s part, but all this already paints quite the picture, perfectly explaining why they would behave like they’ve never done shit. Why Simon thinks and behaves like he has never done this before) (In a lot of ways, he hasn't, but that's another conversation)

[kyouxa]

Diabolik lovers: Reiji x Yui

This NSFW scenario has been requested by @diafan4eversakakmaki​​! Thank you for enjoying my fanfics, I didn’t write in forever so I hope you enjoy it regardless! (Feedback etc. as well as requests are obviously welcomed, I’d be happy!)♡

"You have a fever!?" escaped uncontrollably from Yui's lips, as she brought in Reiji's breakfast. Almost angrily he slapped her hand off his forehead, calling it 'utter nonsense'. 

"You know… it's okay if you rest and do nothing, I can do whatever you had planned today! Really, I'd be happy to help you out!" Yui explained with a bright happy smile on her face. While sighing and heavily breathing, Reiji agreed to her request and handed her a list. "I'll bring you your tea before starting with the list, okay?" Yui asked, while putting down the tablet with food on Reiji's bed. Before being able to leave, Reiji grabbed her hand and asked her to bring medicine before starting with the chores. Closing the door behind her, Reiji frowned as if he knew something was going to happen. 

"Nfu~♪, it's rare for anyone to ever leave Reiji's room with such a big smile. What's going on, Bitch-chan?" Laito asked while getting closer to her. Totally caught off guard, Yui tried her best not to make it as obvious as she could. "E-Eh? Ah—! It's nothing. I might just… um… caught a little fever or something like that and Reiji offered to take care of me! And because of that, he needs some medicine!" 

"Medicine? Why would he need some if you're the one having the fever?" putting a smirk on his face, Yui already knew very well she was caught lying. "F-Fine… I need medicine for Reiji-san. He caught a fever and I don't know if we have—" but before being able to finish her sentence, Laito pressed a bottle in her hand. 

"Nfu~, this should work. Just add a bit in his tea and he should be fine a few moments after." he claimed with a dirty smile on his face. Being extremely naive as she is, she accepted the bottle and hurried downstairs to fill in a cup of tea for her lover. 

Satisfied with the result of the tea, she added a few spoons of the substance of the bottle to the tea. "I wonder… will this really help him?" questioning her decisions, she walked upstairs and knocked on Reiji's door. As she finally got the signal to enter, she didn't waste any second. 

While carefully approaching her sick boyfriend, he instantly tried receiving the tea from her hands. After innocently enjoying the tea for a bit, Yui tried getting up from his bed to begin her chores.

Yui's POV

As I tried getting up from his bed, I felt his hand grabbing my arm and pushing me back. “Reiji-san!? What's wrong?” I asked, not understanding the situation I´ve gotten myself into. 

“What did you put in this tea, answer me this instant!” he almost yelled with an angry voice.

“It´s medicine, just like you asked me to! Why are you so--” I tried to reply to him, as I suddenly felt sweat running down my spine. Knowing I made a mistake to trust Laito-kun, I was scared of what I actually put in the cup. But before I could ask any further questions, he got on top of me. Accidentally moaning by the sudden pressure of his body weight, he leaned over to steal a kiss from me. 

As he felt me trying to forcefully push him away, he pulled back. As I tried looking into his eyes, I noticed the sweat running down his red face. Instantly regretting my earlier happiness, he started trailing kisses along my neck as he ripped my shirt off my body. Knowing exactly where this was about to go, I tried my best to resist for the last time before he spoke to me. “Do not push me away, and rather take responsibility for your doing. After all… it is your fault for drugging me with an aphrodisiac.” 

As my eyes widened to his response, I fully understood that all of this was Laito-kun´s plan from the very beginning. The panic I had when he started, now turned into softness and understanding for his situation. “Okay… I will take responsibility.” I answered calmly. 

Only ever being under Reiji-san´s mercy, turned completely normal to me in our sex life. And now… I was supposed to take responsibility for my mistake. As I decided to take over control, he still ordered me exactly what he wanted me to do. Switching positions, I was the one on top, and he was on the bottom for the first time. I took off his pants and underwear, leaving him as naked as asked me to. Clearly I began to get embarrassed over the situation, trying to keep in mind who I´m doing this for. 

“Suck me, Yui” he said under the drug's control, as I began to feel my face turn strawberry red. Not waiting too long, I started off slowly, kitty licking the vein on the bottom of his member then slowly sucking on the tip. He started to complain, but before he could say anything I eventually took him fully in my mouth. He immediately moaned and threw his head back. I started deep-throating him, making sure to graze my teeth over his sensitive tip whenever I came back. 

“Ngh, faster.”

I picked up the pace, bobbing my head and sucking even faster. He moaned out loud, as I felt his cum over my mouth. Before receiving any orders, whether to lick it or not, like he usually does, he flipped us over and turned me around. Making me lay with my stomach down and my ass up, he took off my skirt and the underwear I had underneath. Not even preparing me, he just straight up thrusted into me. I screamed and tears started streaming down my face, as he pulled my head back to kiss me on the lips. 

“The pain will go away sooner than you will realize, you will be fine.” he said soothingly in my ear as he trailed kisses all over my back. Little by little, the pain faded and I eventually started calling out his name. He smirked and started pounding into me relentlessly, hitting my prostate on the first thrust. I screamed and he started going even faster, making me come all over him. Not like this stopped him or the drug from working. 

He lifted my hips up and started going even faster, again making me gasp as orgasm after orgasm came crushing on me. After about seven rounds of sex, I was completely exhausted and laid down, while Reiji was still pounding into me. 

“H-How do you even… have this much amount of stamina?” I tried to ask before he started going even faster again. Slowly losing myself to the pleasure, I eventually gave myself completely to him.

“Nfu… sounds like they're having as much fun as I expected. It's a pity I couldn´t join them directly, maybe next time then.” Laito mumbled to himself as he stepped away from eavesdropping on the door.

[writing-with-olive]

Shelving a WIP

(Alt title: I just shelved a WIP I've been working on for almost three years, and I learned some valuable things from the process so ima share them).

Disclaimer that I'm a writer that works on pretty much one WIP at any given time, and if it's two, one of the WIPs are going to be in the brainstorming/worldbuilding stages at a maximum. The things I've learned are from that perspective, and there might be aspects that are different if you have multiple WIPs, some of them more dormant than others.

1 - It's gonna be okay.

I'm starting out with this one because I've always found it terrifying when I see other people shelving their work, because if the people who have experience are doing it, I might do this, and how could I ever give up on this book baby I'm putting so much time and effort and love into? And yeah. That's scary. But once you've outgrown a work, sometimes the best thing you can do is to move onto new things. It doesn't negate all the hard work you've put in, and it certainly doesn't make you a faker. Remember - almost everyone who's established themselves as an author has shelved works, and they've still made it.

(how to shelve a project, and more detailed stuff below the cut)

2 - How to know when it's time to shelve a WIP

This can vary a lot, but there's three major reasons that have occurred with the works I've shelved (three, all of which I'd worked on for at least six months, many more that had shorter life spans).

The first is a lack of interest. If working on a WIP starts to consistently feel like a chore, and I'm having a harder and harder time feeling for the characters and the world, something's not right. Sometimes this can come from burnout from other aspects of life, but sometimes it's just that I lost passion in the work. Writing's supposed to be fun, and once it's not, it's time to figure out what's up, and sometimes that means trying something new.

Another reason is just outgrowing a work. As I'm writing, the concepts and the story start to feel more juvenile. Some of this can be fixed with editing, but some of it’s baked into the bones of the story. Working it out would mean completely changing the story. Eventually continuing a work feels like being trapped in a younger version of yourself rather than pushing forward.

The final reason (and it can be kinda devastating so I have a section on this farther down) is the realization that a story is not going to help you achieve your writing goals, or worse, will even hinder them. This one won't be as applicable to everyone as the other two as everyone's writing goals vary, but if your goal is to eventually get published/make a job as an author, you may be confronted with this.

3 - How to shelve a work if you've lost interest or outgrown it

The thing about both of these scenarios is that it's a slow progression. If you've identified that you're declining in your attachment to it, you're probably approaching the ability to set it aside and move onto other projects.

One of the first steps is evaluate what is making you stick with it. If you haven't yet shelved it, there's bound to be a reason. Sometimes it's one that holds a lot of merit, and may constitute just taking a break, or in some cases pushing through. Other times, it's not really a great reason, and coming to terms with that is an emotional step to put the work aside.

If you can't bring yourself to move on because it feels like quitting, even though it feels like it's the best decision, find a goal to work toward. That goal will be something much smaller than publishing the work, but it will still help give a sense of completeness. For example, finishing the draft, or even just the act you're on. Sometimes, seeing an end point can be detaching enough that you just... shelve it. Other times, you get to the end point, and decide: is this the end for the WIP, or have I regained enough interest that I actually want to go farther? Both are equally good decisions.

I have found that it's often like a sudden decision that comes after a long period of questioning. I might go for weeks thinking should I or should I not? Over and over and over. Then one day, I just decide to stop working on it, and that's that. It's just the moment when the last of my active emotional attachment finally dissolves.

4 - How to shelve a work when you realize it's not going to help you achieve your goals

This was the situation I was in when I shelved my no-longer-current WIP, which I intended to traditionally publish. It was a sort of assassin-y story and there were elements of it that were loosely based off of Natasha Romanoff's story (Marvel), though not enough by any stretch that it could be considered fanfic. Then the Black Widow movie came out, and apparently Marvel had the exact same idea I had, and suddenly, it looked like my story was a huge rip-off of that one. As it was, huge swaths of the story overlapped. All of this meant that not only was publishing my WIP a long shot because it was a YA sci-fi, but also it was competing with the mega-company that is Marvel/Disney. The chances of even getting an agent plummeted, and then there was the fact that if I did get one, and I got published, I would be basically throwing away my debut because of diminishing returns, and because anyone who read my book would also be in the target audience for Marvel, and would almost certainly see the similarities and write my story off for a rip-off. Not a great situation to be in.

So the first thing to do? Give yourself permission to feel all the big emotions that come with this kind of heartbreak. It hurts really bad, and it's okay to experience that.

Next thing. Evaluate. Is this it for the story, or is there anything else you can do with it? I can't publish it as a book, but there's nothing stopping me from posting it online and still sharing it with people.

Figure out what the end point is going to be. It could be finishing the story even though it doesn't accomplish what you originally set out to do (though this is something to do if it will genuinely bring you joy, not because you feel like it's something you owe). It could be doing something like the other scenario and finding a more artificial "finish point" to still get a sense of closure and accomplishment from the WIP.

5 - The freedom that comes from shelving a work

The obvious thing is that if you weren't enjoying what you weren't enjoying what you were writing before, you're done!

Shelving a work is an open space to work on whatever you want. Whatever makes you happy, you can do it. The starting stages of a WIP are always the most exhilarating, and this is where we all return whenever we pick up a new project.

Another thing. No matter what, you've learned something new over the course of your last project. Maybe it was a ton (that was the case for me - I am a completely different writer than I was before I started it), maybe it was one aspect of character or structure or voice. But you get to go into your next project with that new knowledge.

[rainbowsky]

More on the Fan Fic issue

I have a few more asks about the issue raised the other day, some of which are long and go into detail on the 'wars' that have been happening on Twitter and AO3.

Sorry for grouping these but I wanted to put it all under a cut because these are long, and also in case people don't want to dig into these issues (which would be understandable).

Anonymous 1 asked:

"I am very strongly of the opinion that the BJYX term is still a fandom umbrella term" I agree. Mainly because Bjyx is the most popular. Many antis always say bjyx, and have no idea the others. So sometimes it's easier just to say bjyx instead of explaining all three. I myself more like "who cares as long as they happy." So I enjoy Yizhan in all contexts. Many bxgs I know also like that, mostly ibxgs. I think deep down all bxgs (no matter which position they prefer) just want Yizhan to be happy

Not sure we can be so certain about that last part, Anon (I think for a lot of people GG and DD are just characters in a smutty story they have in their heads), but I agree about the term being popular regardless of the type of fans people are.

From what I can see the BJYX term seems to be used 80-90% umbrella, 10-20% dynamic in both international and c-social media (for every 10 times you see the term used, only one or two of those usages - probably less - are referring to a dynamic). This is my totally unscientific estimation, but I think even 10-20% dynamic is being generous. The number of people who are fixated on a sexual dynamic aren't nearly as large as they'd like to believe.

Anonymous 2 asked:

about the promptfests - i’ve been on twitter since early 2020 and what i’ve noticed is that this influx bjyx-only promptfests started gaining speed once lots of rational voices started leaving the fandom recently either because a) new interests have caught their attention or b) the toxicity of the popular bxg circles on twitter have become too much to handle.

gdgdbaby was usually the organizer of dynamic-inclusive events, and she’s received lots, and lots, and lots of backlash by bxg, sometimes even by accounts with thousands followers, for using bjyx as a catch-all term. and as her interest in yizhan has since waned—hopefully for reasons unrelated to fandom toxicity—many of the people who were attracted to the welcoming environment she created distanced themselves as well.

zsww/lsfy fans have become an outnumbered circle who try their best to create exclusive events to avoid the “is bjyx a catch-all term” discourse, but never seem to gain as much traction as gdgdbaby (who has a sizeable following) or those who host bjyx-only events (who also have sizeable followings).

meanwhile the dynamic war has only become more and more hostile and bjyx is clearly the more populated group… ao3 is simply a battlegrounds, if i may dramatize the situation a little for the sake of humor, and the promptfests are a reaction to this irritating t/b discourse that has made bxg twitter completely inhospitable for me…and lots of other fans too.

(i’ve also noticed a huge reinforcement as of recently where ppl will call gg laopo, a milf, an omega, etc even outside of rpf (i.e. posting pictures of him at events and saying he looks pregnant or he’s going into heat) and it’s just… uncomfortable.)

(also please note i have a biased account of all of this drama bc many of my friends were harassed over it, and anyone who disagrees with my take may feel free to interject.)

I took the liberty of adding paragraph breaks because they are pretty important for some readers, particularly ND readers like me.

It's sad to hear how fucked up everything has become, but I'm not even remotely surprised. Toxicity leads to toxicity, and the whole idea of dividing up a RP fandom by sex position was misguided from the outset - no matter why it was done or how good the intentions might have been.

And yes, like I said, these people aren't just framing things this way for fan fic. This is how they talk about IRL GGDD.

I had written a lengthy essay here about homophobia in the fandom but deleted it all. Perhaps I'll post it separately at some later point. Suffice it to say that this stuff creates a climate that's often hostile for queer people. So much of it is deeply homophobic, whether people are aware of it or not.

It's really sad to hear about gdgdbaby being mistreated in any way. Anyone who steps up and sticks their neck out to help organize and coordinate activities that benefit a broader group of people should be celebrated and supported, not run out of town by an angry mob.

I've read some of her stories and even have one or two on my rec list. And here's someone who is not only writing good works, but also supporting others to write more good works. Such a shame.

Anonymous 3 asked:

Hello Mr. RBS! I think I can chime in a bit about the fanfic topic as I’ve watched this all unravel on twitter (where a majority of authors/readers are). I apologize if this gets long but it’s been something that’s also been on my mind.

I want to preface this by saying that I’m not a fan of the distinctions of dynamics as, like you said, the supposed line between real life and fanfic is long gone, so I’m not trying to be biased against one group over another.

Short answer to the question of, “is this retaliation?” : I do believe it is. (From here onwards I’ll be using bjyx as the dynamic term just for the ease of simplicity.) To understand why, I’ll have to explain with a bit of background info. On twitter, I’d say that there’s a quite large divide between bjyx and zsww/lsfy. That itself isn’t really a problem because people are free to like what they like and associate with whoever.

However there is a big problem where bjyx people are not just bjyx but also anti-zsww/lsfy. To the point where I’ve seen people say that they feel physically ill when they accidentally read zsww. I don’t think this type of behavior should exist in any dynamic bc in the end GGDD are real people with a real relationship behind this content and it’s just a gross fetishization at that point.

With all this happening, zsww/lsfy people have gotten more outspoken on how GG is often portrayed in those types of scenarios, mainly the over-feminization of him, bc it’s not just done in the context of fanfic but regular discussion of GGDD at this point. This tension between the dynamics kind of boiled over when the pregnant xz fest was announced, as you can take a guess at how that went over with zsww/lsfy people. lol.

But around that same time, another zsww/lsfy event was announced (I’m not sure if it’s the one anon was talking about) but the creator of the event suddenly got a ton of backlash for excluding bjyx, with the reasoning that bjyx is technically a part of lsfy. But the event was done to highlight zsww/lsfy (as all specific events are) bc the community and content for these dynamics are much less than bjyx.

Which is how we come back to the starting point of, is all this recent bjyx stuff retaliatory. I believe so bc the events (preg fest, dark event) are very specific prompts that target exactly what zsww/lsfy people have been outspoken against.

As to the point anon made about trying to drown out the tags, keep in mind that zsww/lsfy content is very minimal compared to bjyx and has only just recently started to gain more traction. I think most people would love to just peacefully exist in their own circles but I don’t see this problem between dynamics disappearing anytime soon.

Like I said with the above Anon, I've added paragraph breaks for ND readers.

What a mess.

I have absolutely nothing useful to say here about the fandom on AO3 and how it's managed by community members, but I do think it's unfortunate that people choose to be war-like rather than make space for diverse voices, and I think it's a real shame that some people have been essentially run out of the fandom because of this garbage.

Thanks for giving some context for how/why the major shift in tone of fan fic lately. I had no idea any of this was going on.

I urge people to work hard to give space for all voices and perspectives, and not just the ones they favor. I'd also urge people to reflect on how their thoughts, behavior and actions in the fandom might affect queer people in the fandom.

As always, we have no control over what other people do, say or think. All we have any control over is how we respond to what other people do, say or think. Hopefully we'll chose the path of peace and try to avoid fan wars or fights that only ruin the experience for everyone.

I guess one thing I'd ask any of the Anons who have written me about this issue - or anyone who has thoughts about it - is, what can we as readers/fans who care about diversity of voices and perspectives do to support that here and on AO3, without getting involved in any kind of war?

[ravixen]

seokmin ; words unsaid

➔ synopsis: the first day of any job can be nerve-wracking; seokmin knows this well. good thing one of you has confidence in your ability.

➔ warnings: none ➔ notes: thank you for the request! this one was fun to write, especially since i work with languages >:) much love for seokmin, even though scenarios take me longer to write. it takes more energy to write properly and i'm writing fanfic at the same time ➔ 889 words || mini-scenario || requested || translator!y/n

You can barely swallow your meal. Legs bouncing beneath the table, you try to focus on your food instead of the clock’s ticking, but the sound burrows into your ear, into your mind, and settles in the cracks of your confidence.

Tick-tick. Tick-tick. Tick-tick.

You cave and glance at the time. Thirty-four minutes. Thirty-four minutes until the cameras start rolling and the responsibility of translating to a live, international audience falls on your shoulders. The environment isn’t new ― you’ve been observing the main translator for a long time now. She works with ease, capturing the essence of the guests’ conversations without stumbling over words, riffing off of their jokes to make everyone comfortable, and never letting her nerves show. She was, and is, good at her job. You have big shoes to fill.

“Y/N?”

The call of your name jolts you out of your thoughts. Hovering by your side, Seokmin tilts his head, concerned.

“Everything alright?” he asks, taking the seat next to you.

On the other side of the room, Soonyoung is talking to the camera crew and setting up for their livestream. Right. Because other people know how to do their job. You sigh, wrapping up your barely touched sandwich and pushing it away.

“Just anxious,” you admit. “I’m feeling a lot of pressure.”

Seokmin gives you that bright smile of his, the one that can make heavy clouds part and still trees sing, and quickly squeezes your hand. He retracts before you even realize. He’s good at that, you note. Giving small signs of encouragement. Grounding you. It’s some of his best traits and why you developed a rather unprofessional crush on him in the first place.

“You’re going to do amazing, Y/N. You’ve been practicing so much!”

“Still...what if you guys speak too fast? Or if I blank out? I haven’t done a solo translation before.”

You wish the last translator could be here. Maybe if she was at least present, ready to jump in whenever you stumble, you’d be more comfortable. But no, they’re letting you free fall from the start, likely worried that you’d rely on her too much as a crutch.

You drop your face onto crossed forearms and groan. They scheduled you with Seokmin and Soonyoung, both energetic enough to control the mood without your help, so you suppose you should count your blessings. All the boys are supportive, but you and Seokmin have gotten particularly close. How could you not with him coming early to hype you up and staying late to help you review notes every time he’s in the studio?

“Why don’t we run through a few sentences, then?”

“Like what?”

He taps his chin, leaning back in his chair. “Hello, everyone, I’m DK from Seventeen.”

“...but you’re supposed to be the one introducing yourself?” you ask, confused. Did something change?

He pauses, then laughs. “Right. Sorry, I guess I’m nervous, too.” He rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. “We’re playing a racing game, so why don’t you list off a bunch of related words? Road? Car? Watch out?”

You translate those instantly. He gives you more phrases, getting longer and more nuanced. You translate those, too, shoulders loosening. The words are coming easily. He’s right ― you’ve done this before. Sure, it’s in front of more people than you’re used to, but if you ignore that and focus on Seokmin and Soonyoung, you should be fine, right?

“What about: get dinner with me after this is done to celebrate your success?”

Halfway through the sentence, the words hit you.

“I ― huh?”

His expression falters. It’s minute, but you’ve spent enough time staring at him to notice the change before he shrugs it off.

“It’s not a big deal if you’re not interested. We can go as friends. Or not at all, if that’s what you prefer.”

“No, that’s not it! I, um, I’d love to.” You fidget with your sleeves, suddenly unable to meet his eyes. “I’d love to get dinner with you.”

“Okay. That’s good! That’s great.”

You know so many words in multiple languages, yet here you are, unable to find any to describe the feeling in your chest.

He clears his throat. “I guess I should go do some lighting checks?”

“Yes, of course! I’ll be...here, trying to finish my food.”

Gaze trailing after him as he leaves, you struggle to stifle your excitement. You don’t need a mirror to know that your face exudes a giddy, embarrassed glow. One that only grows as you catch Seokmin exchanging words with his friend and Soonyoung clapping him on the shoulder.

The next half hour passes in a flurry of activity. Once you’re done eating, they set you up with your microphone. With the pack on your belt and the wire rustling beneath your shirt, you’re struck by the officialness of it all. This is it. Making sure that you have enough pages, that your writing utensils and your back-ups and your back-up back-ups work, you sit in your designated chair.

As the countdown begins, the main translator slips into the seat beside you, notepad ready. She shoots you a thumbs-up ― so this isn’t a solo translation? thank goodness ― but the sight of her, and the momentary wave of relief that follows, is nothing compared to Seokmin’s sneaky wink right before the cameras go live.

[thatgirlwritingficsatnight]

Odi et Amo I

Odi et amo. Quare id faciam fortasse requiris? nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior

Catullus, 85

After a few years of working in the USA for Disney and playing the role of The White Fox in Marvel Cinematic Universe you came back to your motherland - Korea only to be greeted with hatred and contempt. To make things harder for you the universe sends you the most irritating neighbour ™. Will you be able to find your happiness and  accomplish your dream of becoming loved actress in Korea without complying with standards of patriarchal society?

pairing: Park Jinyoung x reader

genre: actor au

warnings: angst, foul language (please don’t read it if you’re not old enough)

words: 5582

A/N: Hi this is my first fanfic ever, and so there are few things I have to say before you hopefully enjoy reading it. 1. English is not my first language so there may be some grammatical errors. I’m sorry, perhaps in the future there will be someone to proofread my works. 2. I’m terribly sorry for my interpunction :( for some reason they don’t teach it here  and so it may be terrible. I am reading about it more but it’s not easy for me as I haven’t practiced enough. I’m really sorry if it’s awkward. 3. This was supposed to be long oneshot, but I was told not all people enjoy long reads on tumblr like I do, so I decided to make a miniseries out of it. Let me know if you enjoyed it and if you want me to write some scenarios, or post more of my works (i have a lot of them in the depths of my drive lol). Love, thatgirlwritingficsatnight.

***

You sat in spacious sofa in your old apartment in Korea. A sigh leaving your lips as you looked through the headlines.

"The black sheep of Korean show biz comes back after four years in USA"

"Whose heart will she eat now? National heartbreaker came back to Korea"

"Go back to USA you wh*re! - internet went wild over L/N Y/N"

"L/N Y/N comes back in outrageous style"

Most of them were a summary or perhaps a reminder for k-netizens why they should hate you; it's because you dated who you wanted to and for how long you wanted to, it's because this one time in the talk show you told off male host when he kept asking about your private life and because the other time you told another one to stop giving you all the questions about clothes and make up while your male co-star got to answer some deep questions about character development and that's to name the few reasons that came instantly to your mind. Of course some articles had to focus on your airport fashion too. The conservative Korean society had a problem with your bra, or rather a lack of thereof under your designer t-shirt. You left out an irritated groan as you scrolled to the comments. They were vicious and vulgar, you don't know what else did you expect honestly. You tossed the phone and buried your face in your hands fighting the urge to tweet something about the nasty people and how they should keep their antediluvian opinions to themselves. You sighed again perhaps if you were in a different country you'd do that, but here with systematic misogyny, where women were supposed to always smile and nod their heads, here where they got paid 60% of men's pay... you'd most likely be crucified. Then again who if not you would come to your defense? You knew the answer — no one, that realization was enough to anger you even more. The blood was boiling inside you as you snatched your phone back and went into Twitter silently mouthing apologies to your manager who'd be blowing your phone in just a few minutes.

 "Yes, I don't wear bras. No, it's not a topic for your article nor your problem. I also know it may shock some people but my dating life is not a topic for your entertainment either."

"It baffles me how Korean society thinks its country is in the group of one of the most civilized ones but still treats women as if we were stuck in 50s."

  Your phone was already blowing with notifications, you could see some new articles already popping and soon after that it buzzed as your manager tried to reach you. You silenced your phone and left it on the coffee table while you moved to the kitchen. You got yourself a lamp of wine and watched always busy streets of Seoul from a window. It was already dark and it looked like rivers of light with cars and street lights constantly illuminating them. You were deep in your thoughts as you pondered if you made a good decision. You had a good life in California. You had your best friend there, a house with a pool and many good opportunities for roles you declined. In those four years you became an international star after your role as Marvel's White Fox — a gumiho superhero. You knew in a year or two Disney would ask you to come back to make more movies and most likely you would but you couldn't stay in the USA any longer. Somehow, even though it seemed illogical considering the warm welcome you've got, you still missed your home. You missed Korea the country that loved to hate you. You weren't exaggerating when you said they loved to hate you, for instance you always played villains in Korean films and dramas and the Korean audience loved it. They loved to hate your characters and so every time you tried to audition for a role that would be first or second lead you'd always be cast as the villain. The very first time you played a good character was when you portrayed the White Fox for Marvel, they chose you because you were half American (on your father's side) and because you used to play femme fatales and that was kinda the character. You accepted the role secretly hoping that it would change the way Korea has seen you. It didn't. They said you were too Westernised and that you weren't true Korean and had their own perfect casting with actresses that weren't as scandalous as you. Well, at least the rest of the world loved you. Nonetheless, you came back. You still weren't sure if it was a good idea or for how long, or even if you'd work here or just relax; you were just happy you could eat unhealthy convenience store food whenever you felt like and that kimchi was a standard and not something you'd only find in specific shops. Speaking of, you craved some ramyun with cheese and perhaps some yakult as well. You changed your clothes into a pair of black sweats and a black hoodie and chose to wear a black cap and face mask as well. You checked yourself in a huge mirror in the corridor. Your outfit screamed two things: first was "I am a crazy murderer from drama" and and second "look at me I'm a celebrity". You sighed. Honestly what else could you wear? You decided not to change and went out to the nearest convenience store.

You walked slowly taking your time to get to the store while listening to Def Soul hoping lazy beats would calm your nerves. You bopped your head to the rhythm as you entered the store and went straight into ramyun section. You picked your favourite spicy one and grabbed some cheese, yakult and cherry coke. The girl working there seemed really young and you caught her yawning. She apologized and you smiled warmly although she probably couldn't see it through the mask.

"Don't worry about it I'm tired today as well." you said, and she smiled. You paid with a card and regretted not withdrawing any money so that you could tip her. You remember when you were just a bit younger than her, working in similar way but back in the USA; she’d appreciate extra cash. You took the ramyun to prepare it and hummed as you waited for the noodles to get soft. Food always got you to feel better. You were spreading cheese on your noodles when middle-aged men entered the shop. Soon you'd believe it's not your night or perhaps that you got some bad karma, or that you were just cursed. The men came up to the cashier and asked for a pack of cigarettes. You were about to slurp the first noodles when he spoke.

"When will you finish your shift cutie maybe I can pick you up?" He chuckled and the girl tried to smile politely although anyone with eyes could see how uncomfortable she felt. She tried to decline his advances with a small scared voice clearly she was too young to feel comfortable enough to just curse him out.

"You sluts are always the same. You smile at me flirt with me and then act all fucking.."

"Aish!" you didn't let him finish. And he turned your way surprised someone else was in the store. "I lost all appetite," you dropped the chopsticks next to the bowl and moved your gaze at the male: disgust was rolling off from you in waves, and he flinched upon meeting your eyes, "then again who wouldn't if they had to eat in the presence of trash?" You watched as his face got all red and furious, it seemed almost twisted now. "How dare you speak like that to me, you bi..." once again he couldn't finish his sentence this time you silenced him with your swift actions. You closed the distance between the two of you and grabbed his hand firmly. Then you put it behind his back and twisted it painfully enough for him to groan.

"Call me a bitch, I dare you." you said quietly, but he didn't respond, he just jerked trying to escape your hold. He smelled like tobacco, digested alcohol and grease. You scrunched your nose and took him out of the store. You pushed him lightly, and yet he still lost balance and fell. He shot you a glare full of hate and fury while you tried to remain calm. Truth to be told you were scared, yes you jumped in to help the girl, and successfully silenced him, but that was most likely only because he wasn't sober. You were silently asking universe to help you out as you mustered your courage and played your part of "fearless Y/N”.

"Leave or I'll call the police and tell them you harassed both me and the girl." He stood up and spit under your legs before he left. You sighed, a tight knot unravelling itself finally in your belly, adrenaline that was brought up with the surge of fury disappearing now, leaving you bit wobbly. You made mental note to thank the director of The White Fox for making you take those material arts classes, they came in handy. You came back to the store, you didn’t pay attention to the girl that watched you in awe. You just wanted to enjoy your noodles. Finally, able to take the bite you let out disgusted groan they got too soft. Letting out resigned sigh you opened the yakult.

"Miss Y/N.." small voice started next to you. The girl was blushing and smiling. She was cute, had long brown hair and a mole just under her left eye. You smiled back and it seemed to encourage her. "Thank you. You are like the coolest unnie ever. I will always support you and fight anyone that calls you names and.." You chuckled at her eagerness and sudden flood of words. "Thanks kid. What's your name? "Kim Seoyun." "Nice to meet you Kim Seoyun. I'm L/N Y/N." you said with a smile, and she blushed even more. You looked through the window and bit the inside of your cheek. What if he comes back when you're gone, you couldn’t risk it. "Tell me Seoyun when do you end your shift?" She took out a phone from her pocket. "Oh, in ten minutes." "Great I'll wait for you and order you a taxi." "Ah, unnie you don't have to… you already helped me enough and.." "Nonsense", you cut her off "he may come back and I'll sleep better knowing you are safe at home."

She nodded and came back to work. Leaving you with your soggy and lukewarm noodles. You thought about throwing it out but you hated wasting food and so you made yourself eat at least a bit although now it was cold and awfully soft. Ten minutes passed rather quickly and soon you found yourself standing next to the taxi with Seoyun. You gestured her to get in, but she stood in front of you and suddenly bowed deeply while extending her hands in front of you. Much to your surprise she was giving you a popsicle.

"Y/N-unnie I know it's not much but I wanted to thank you..."

You grinned at her while taking the gift. You quickly unwrapped it and tried it, it was strawberry flavoured.

"Thank you. It's the best popsicle I've ever had." You said honestly. Seoyun blushed and entered the car but before the taxi took off she lowered the car window and screamed.

"Y/N-unnie from today I'm your biggest fan! Unnie fighting!" You laughed.

"Mmm. Thank you!" After that car took off and you happily walked back home. Earphones in, phone in your hand as you decided to order some food since the ramyun sadly haven't been quite satisfying. You slurped at the popsicle even though it was the time of year when nights got colder. The taste of strawberries melted on your tongue. It was the first time someone in Korea told you they were your fan, it was also the first time a Korean fan gave you a gift. Despite the chilly air, and cold ice against your lips you felt warmth spreading from your chest. Grinning to yourself, you scrolled through different restaurants still thinking of what should you eat and then you bumped into someone or rather someone bumped into you. Popsicle fell to the ground and so did your phone with earphones brutally torn out from your ears. The man who bumped into you was in a very similar attire as your own he even wore a mask and a cap. You frowned upon realizing the gift from your first Korean fan was melting next to you. You were however about to apologize before he spoke in irritated tone while collecting some boxes scattered around you two.

"Next time watch where you're going." The blood inside you boiled the third time this evening and you snapped back at him before he could add anything else.

"Maybe you should watch where you're going." your tone was so aggressive it was clear all of the frustrations from today's evening build up in you. You gathered your things quickly.

"Excuse me..." he said straightening as he glared at you. His tone was promising a fight or a lecture at least. You didn't feel like any of that so once again today you didn't let someone finish their sentence, a habit of yours as it seems.

"Apologies accepted, asshole." you said fiercely and left him standing there with his stupid boxes in a state of shock. You got into the elevator and decided not to pay anyone any more of your thoughts tonight. You smiled at wooden popsicle stick and quickly forgot about the man downstairs.

Jinyoung was still shocked but also amused by your witty comeback. He knew he reacted upon his emotions when he was rude to you. He was just angry that he had to move the second time in the last two months. Sasaengs somehow found out about his last apartment in which he lived for only two weeks and just started feeling at home. Few days ago they found him, and he was harassed once again. Tired and angry he acted without thinking when you bumped into him and his belongings scattered. He wanted to apologize right away but you growled back at him, and he got irritated, so he wanted to lecture you or at least tell you not to interrupt other people when they are speaking, but you did just that and in very smart matter at that as well. Now Jinyoung was riding an elevator trying to pinpoint your face, he was sure he had seen you somewhere already. He entered his flat and sighed as he realized he had to unpack once again. He decided it could wait till morning.

You were woken up by both pounding and drilling in the wall behind your head. With long groan you pulled a pillow over your head but it didn't help much. You checked the time on your phone. It was seven thirty in the morning and you couldn't fall asleep till three - courtesy of your jet lag. You tried to ignore it hoping that you were sleepy and tired enough to fall asleep, unfortunately to no avail.

"Who the hell does the renovation on Saturday morning?" you asked your own walls with furious tone. You left the bed deciding to speak with the person next door. You didn't even bother to change from your PJ or brush your teeth, or hair, or even to throw something over yourself. You left your apartment in your bunny pyjama set, a gift from your best friend. Soon you were pounding angrily at the door. It took quite some time before the drilling inside stopped and someone opened the door. The man who opened seized you up and down with his eyes and coughed in his fist diverting his gaze somewhere else.

"Can I help you?" he asked his voice was a bit distressed. "I sure hope you can. It's Saturday seven in the morning." you were fuming, and he finally looked at you although he kept his eyes stuck to your face. "Ah... thank you for informing me. Are you working as personal calendar and clock for all of your neighbours or am I on some special treatment?" he asked sarcastically and smirked which made you: first bewildered and second even more mad if that's possible. "Let me rephrase that for you: it's Saturday, early morning and you are drilling in a wall." "Well, technically it was Mr Ahn who was drilling, I was enjoying myself with a book." He clearly enjoyed teasing you, there was this gleam in his eyes. "Don't you think that's a bit too early for a renovation?" your voice was seething with venom although you tried to keep your cool. "Quite contrary. I checked with the building manager, and I am only supposed to keep quiet between ten p.m and seven a.m. as you can see I even waited thirty minutes." He smiled at you and in that second you hated him, his stupid brown hair, strangely symmetrical face, weirdly tight cardigan and the fact that you couldn't do much since he was in the right. You just turned on your heels ready to storm off back to your flat when he spoke again. "Ah, and might I add I just love your fashion sense." he raised one brow and his eyes once again travelled through your body. "Excuse me?"

"Apologies accepted." Your face went from frowned and angry to shocked in a second, and he laughed at your reaction before closing the doors and leaving you cursing yourself, your luck and your best friend who thought it would be cute to buy you pyjama set which contained of hoodie with ears and a bunny tail and some shorts.

You entered your apartment, deep red setted on your face from both anger and embarrassment. As soon as you closed the doors the drilling continued. You cursed under the breath and went to shower. You stood long under the stream letting the water wash away both dirt and emotions. Once you were clean and ready for the day you’ve decided to ditch your flat for now since it was too loud for you anyway. This time you went for less sporty look but still all black. It was a turtleneck, slacks, martens and a beret. Chic and comfortable. You did  your makeup and hair and went out for breakfast. The car was already waiting for you when you got downstairs. You pulled a black mask over your face and greeted the driver who didn't talk much and so you didn't have to worry about the small talk. You scrolled through your phone checking the messages you got from your manager — there was about twenty of them and somehow each was written with different emotion: rage, irritation, sadness, hopelessness and so on. You sighed knowing that you should probably apologize for the troubles you caused him. Then again what were you supposed to do, not react when half of this country is calling you names? You signed back in your Twitter only to be greeted by thousands of notifications. Most of which were trolls and haters commenting on your tweets with occasional death threats in your DMs. You tried your very best not to read each and every comment knowing that even though you were strong it still affected you. You were; however, positively surprised when you found some supporting voices. There was your best friend (obviously) who fiercely defended you and called out everyone on their bull, he even threatened legal action and you smiled brightly at his tweets, but there were also few Korean celebrities who took your side and defended you as well. Most importantly there were few normal people, fans perhaps, who applauded you and thanked for speaking out. You smiled when you saw user "Y/NUnnieFandomPresidentSeoyun" somewhere in your notifications. Somehow traffic was still bad even on weekend and it took you forty minutes to get to the café you had in mind. Once you got there however you didn't regret time spend on travel. It was café in quiet part of town, it wasn't very popular since it wasn't in Gangnam but because of that it was one of your favourites. No paparazzi, no dispatch, no other celebrities.

The place itself wasn't very big but it had huge windows and was located in front of the park so you could easily grab a coffee and go for a walk or just stay inside and watch people and kids spending their time at the park. The interior wasn't anything special either, it wasn't one of those Instagram worthy cafés. It had simple modern style. You came in and ordered coffee and some toasts and sat in front of the window. There were few people inside so you sat without your mask freely and wondered if your friend was already sleeping. It was around nine here so in Los Angeles it was probably midnight. You texted him asking if he's sleeping, and he just responded by facetiming you right away. His black hair was still wet from shower, and he wasn't wearing any shirt.

"Yah! Y/N-ah!" he scolded you immediately. "How dare you not text or call your best friend for over a day. Do you know how worried I was?" You rolled your eyes at him.

"It's not like you contacted me either. And put some clothes on Tuan."

"Never. I know you secretly love watching my chest."

"Gross. Anyway.. I haven't called because I was tired yesterday, you know jet lag and all of that, so don't get mad at me."

"How are you now?" His playfulness was replaced by concern and it was clear he wasn't really asking about the quality of your sleep which was in fact terrible thanks to your lovely neighbour.

"I'm fine." He gave you the look. "Really. Honestly I didn't expect anything better from what I got, so I'm fine Mark."

"I shouldn't have let you go. You know what? Those people don't deserve you. Come back to the USA and let's live together again I'll even cook. Or I can come to you I'll fight them and keep you company. I'm can easily stream from there.." You giggled at him and he grinned. "You know I'm serious though you can come back I already miss you anyway. God, I should have married you maybe you wouldn't leave me Y/N-ah..." he was whiny again and you laughed. It was an inside joke between you. Both yours and his parents would always tell you to just marry already but neither of you felt anything romantic towards the other one. You'd known each other since you were two and both of you had treated each other like siblings ever since.

"You should have and now it's too late. I'll find myself new victim and feast on their heart like a true gumiho I am." you said in theatrical manner while munching on your toast.

"Honestly who the fuck writes those articles?"

"I don't know but I'm pretty sure... Oh my god. You've got to be kidding me." you said and tried to lower your face down so that the person passing in front of the window you've been sitting by couldn't see you.

"What? What? Is that paparazzi? Your ex? Is that paparazzi rented by your ex?" You frowned at your friend.

"What? No? It's my asshole neighbour." "Never heard of him. Why are we hiding anyway? You can just tell him to back off. Last time I checked you were great at that." He showed you two thumbs up and smiled broadly. "I'm hiding because I'm embarrassed and I don't want to talk to him." "Why?" he laughed. "What did you do?" "I didn't do anything it was that stupid PJ you got me..." you whispered at him while trying to make yourself as small as possible. "Oh my god. One day in Korea and you already got yourself a one-night stand. This is not how I raised you. What would your mother say?" he teased you and giggled. "For the love of... it's not like that." you said angrily a bit too loud perhaps since the men in question who was just ordering by the counter turned around and looked you dead in the eyes. His neutral expression changing to surprised before it transformed to smirk. You cursed yourself and Mark and bowed your head slightly and awkwardly before you turned around to face your now laughing friend.

"You should see your face."

"Shut up. I hate you."

"You love me."

"What a surprise." Third voice spoke up by your side and you cringed a little before you put on your cold mask on.

"A surprise indeed." You said, your neighbour moved his eyes from your face to the screen of your phone carefully placed against the glass. Mark was still there, still half naked and smirking at you.

"Am I interrupting something?"

"Yes."

"No." you and Mark said at the same time and you send him death glare regretting that you couldn't kick him right now. "I was about to go to sleep anyway. Love you."

He disappeared without waiting for your response. You let out soft sigh and reach out for phone.

"Do you mind if I join you?" The man was already sitting next to you. He was smiling at you and perhaps any other person would say it was a warm type of smile but you felt like he was mocking you. Constantly. You straightened up in your seat and eyed him closely. He was wearing the same tight cardigan, it was accentuating his broad frame and muscles hidden underneath soft, brown cashmere and simple but well fitted blue jeans. You had to admit he was handsome and had somehow angelic face which only made you cringe once you compared it to his personality or at least to what he showed you already. "I don't think that's a good idea." You said after a pause, his expression didn't change for a second, and he sipped on coffee that blushing waitress brought a few seconds ago. "How so?" His voice was sweet and melodic, it irritated you even more. "I am a celebrity, there might be an article about me having coffee with you tomorrow." You kept your tone intentionally bored as you played with the spoon. He laughed and you changed your mind his speaking voice couldn't be called melodic when his laughter sounded so beautifully.

"That's funny. I'm celebrity as well I think I'll survive." It wasn't surprising at all, he was too good-looking to not be an idol, a model or an actor perhaps. You held back another sigh. You could already see the headlines "Y/N attacks again will this man keep up with her appetite" or perhaps "One day in Korea, and she already dates — check out Y/N and her new boy toy". "Yeah I doubt it." you said but quickly added. "Weren't you supposed to renovate your apartment anyway?" "I left it to Mr Ahn it got too loud for me to read in peace."

"I can imagine." Sarcasm was basically dripping from your tongue which only seemed to amuse him even more. His eyes were now twinkling and you thought that he must be a devil in disguise. "I must say it's very lucky that I met you here. What are the odds, right?" "Ah I wouldn't call it lucky, that's for sure." You were currently planning how to escape from this conversation. "So how about we get to know each other a bit better?" He proposed with a warm smile. "I don't think so. I don't even know you." "Oh. That's harsh you do know me. I'm your neighbour and this is our third meeting." He placed a hand over his heart and frowned in pain and you wondered how can one still look handsome while frowning before he continued. "Besides I can fix that. I'm Park Jinyoung nice to meet you. See now we know each other." You fought and urge to roll your eyes and you summoned the most polite looking smile you had in your arsenal. Your phone rang before you could say anything and you've never been more happy to see your manager's face appearing on your screen.

"I'm sorry I have to take it." you said politely, and he just nodded. "Oh I wasn't expecting you to pick up." "Ah manager-nim don't be like that I haven't been picking up only for one day." "Why are you so polite are you with someone?" "Yes." You glared at Jinyoung, he was watching you with a smile with coffee in his hand. "Ok, I can call later." "No!" you almost screamed and cleared your throat trying to remain composure. "No, it's fine." "O-ok. Do you have time today? We should meet and talk I just got something that may interest you. It's really nice drama. I know you said you don't want to play in any of those romantic stories but hear me out this one is..." you'd roll your eyes if not for your neighbour's curious eyes. "Of course when and where will we meet?" You decided to cut off his rumbling. "Really? Before departure, you said you won't play in any stupid drama again." "Ah, I see. I did say that. We should meet today, text me the address then." Hanging up on him, you hoped he got the brains to follow up with text. He thankfully did and your phone barked. Jinyoung laughed again and you gave him confused look. "Did your phone just bark at you?" You blushed against yourself. Was it so weird to have a dog's bark as your message sound? "Ah... yes. I like dogs." You cringed on yourself. Somehow today in front of this man you were constantly losing your cool. He either irritated you or made you flustered enough to forget any eloquent comebacks or eloquence at all. "Anyway it was nice meeting you Jinyoung-ssi but I have to meet up with my manager."

"Oh you're leaving without even properly introducing yourself?" He cocked a brow on you and smirked. You stood up and looked at him coldly. "I'm sorry I don't feel the need." You were about to leave before he spoke again. "Ah… running already... startled... like a true bunny. Come to think of it... it does have a nice ring into it, doesn't it? Bunny. It suits you and you even have a costume already." His voice was so extremely mocking that you felt the irritation buzzing in you like electricity. Not to mention he spoke so loudly the waitress that was blushing at him before now listened carefully. You groaned internally. What if she writes about it somewhere. Media won't let you live especially that he is your neighbour they'd say he is already in love with you. And "bunny" was such a couple pet name. You were in the midst of your internal crisis before he decided to speak again.

"Have nice day bun.." You reacted before you thought, your hand slapped against his mouth before he could say anything more. His eyes got bigger, he was clearly shocked that you were so close to him, that you touched him and that you didn't really care about your language. You on the other had were fuming. You've met your fair share of fuckboys, assholes and idiots but not one of them that had similar status to yours acted with such insolence in public where other people could see you. Well, almost none, perhaps your ex was the only one. You kept your voice quiet, loud enough only for him to hear.

"Shut up. And watch your tongue before I pull it out because the universe be my witness I will and I'll do it with pleasure. My name is not kitten, bunny or any other pet name your buffoon head comes up with. It's Y/N. My name is bloody Y/N." You hissed out and his hand reach out to yours. It was hot from coffee and soft even though his grasp was firm. He took your hand of his mouth and smiled.

"Nice to meet you."

You took a step back and send him the look that must have looked like you were trying to shoot daggers at him.

"I'm sure it is. Now if you excuse me. I don't want to be late."

You rushed to counter to pay only to find out it was already taken care of by Jinyoung. You furrowed your brows and wanted to give him his money back instantly but your phone buzzed and it was your cue to leave. The driver was here.

To Mark 🐰 💙 : One day Tuan... you'll pay for this betrayal

From Mark 🐰 💙 : ILY 2 good night. P.S. He seemed hot 👀

You rolled your eyes how hot was he didn't matter if his sole personality drove you crazy only after three brief meetings. You sighed. This was not how you wanted to spend this day: enraged twice and on your way to see your manager.

Keep reading

[suwya]

Till the Stars Had Run Away - Prologue

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Summary:  Killian Jones was a voyager. Actually, he was many things, or at least he had been - a lieutenant, a brother, a loving boyfriend - until everything had turned upside down and his life had hit an all time low. So, he gave up. Aboard his spaceship he abandoned Arcadia, his planet, navigating the stars and other solar systems in search of... well, he still didn't know what he was searching for, but his rule was "never remain in the same place longer than necessary."

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Rating: M

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AO3

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A/N: I started to write this story two years ago, but I never found the courage to post it. Until something happened. 

I read some of the brilliant fanfics written by @thisonesatellite​, and commenting them with her, gave me the pleasure to getting to know this amazing person. She is the reason why this fic sees the light of the day. And she is also my beta: I will be forever thankful to her for all the help she gives me, I owe her so much!

Happy birthday Stephanie! I hope you’re having a wonderful day, because you deserve the best!

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Prologue.

And a softness came 

from the starlight 

and filled me full 

to the bone. 

(W. B. Yeats)

Fucking ice bitch is not so icy after all. Killian thought while he was crossing the Royal Palace's limits. And yes, he was probably drunk, but not enough to forget that he didn't want to stay on this ridiculous planet another day more than necessary. He needed to repair his ship and fly far, far away from here as soon as he could. He would be damned if he didn't. 

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***

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Eight full moons before.

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The room was too bright for his liking; it was big, neat and decorated with minimalist furniture, just a double bed with a couple of night stands. 

Killian shook his head; this was a mistake, a huge mistake, one that would pester his soul for the rest of his life. He knew better. Why am I even here? He thought. Oh, yes, because of the bloody money. If there was any chance to leave this damn place, this was it. He needed the money to repair his ship.  

Killian Jones was a voyager. Actually, he was many things, or at least he had been - a lieutenant, a brother, a loving boyfriend - until everything had turned upside down and his life had hit an all time low. So, he gave up. Aboard his spaceship he abandoned Arcadia, his planet, navigating the stars and other solar systems in search of... well, he still didn't know what he was searching for, but his rule was "never remain in the same place longer than necessary." 

When a rock had collided with his ship, Killian had made a forced landing. New Tolemac seemed a quiet place to lie low for a while, at least at the beginning. But, the ins and outs of the Royal Government of this planet weren't aligned with his philosophy. Long ago he had sworn to himself to serve no king and live by his own rules. 

There were only two things that stood between him and his next destination: A new gimbal block for the engine of his ship, and the money to purchase it. 

He stood at the end of the bed pondering over the best outfit for the occasion. He wasn't exactly attending a Royal Gala, this was a commercial trade... sort of. 

In the end, he stuck with his usual attire: a black vest over a dark grey long sleeved shirt, black jeans, and boots. He was in contrast to the place he was staying. Everything was white: the blankets, the walls, the pavement, even the door. 

He didn't flinch when that door suddenly opened. “Here we go.” He said to himself and tried to put on his best poker face. 

Through the door frame, he could spot three figures. Two of them were Royal Guards with black and maroon uniforms, helmets hiding their faces, and the characteristically rounded blades around their waists. Killian wished he had his automatic harpoon with him as well, but of course, no foreign arms were allowed inside the confines of the Royal Palace. 

The third person of the group was a lithe, young girl with straight blond hair tied in a complex braid. She was wearing an elegant but simple white dress with thin straps that was long enough to hide her feet. She was the only one who entered the room; the guards closed the door behind her. 

So this is the famous Princess Emma, Killian thought. Well, she was beautiful, indeed, and young, so very young. Nobody had ever seen the Princess in public, not the common people at least. Raised by the Royal Family in the utmost secrecy, she had never crossed the barriers of the Palace and its gardens. Protected like the most precious treasure in existence, she held the future of the entire planet in her hands.

And that was exactly why Killian was in that room with her.

She stopped a few steps in front of him, her chin raised and her arms crossed in front of her, in what Killian would have defined as the typical arrogant Royal attitude. 

"Let’s do it quickly. I have a pretty busy schedule today," she stated.

"Well, that's a shame, Princess, because I do like to take my time around a woman."

"We are not here because of what you like," she replied. "During the last few weeks, you have been thoroughly tested by a highly professional medical team, and you've been selected as the most capable for the role, and that is what matters to get the most satisfying result," she explained in an unsentimental tone.

"Capable sounds good, but it's probably not the adjective I would choose to describe myself." Killian tilted his head and hooked his right thumb in one of the loops of his belt, then made a step towards her invading her personal space. His flirty innuendos usually had a certain effect on women. "Regarding the satisfying results…"  He added in a low sultry voice "well, love, you don't have to worry about that."

"I'm not worried and I'm definitely not your love," she huffed impatiently and he immediately realized he had not impressed her. "Now, if we are finished with the preliminaries, I'd rather get to the point," she added, indicating the bed near them. "As I said before I have a busy schedule. Some people have responsibilities."  

"Believe me, Princess, I haven't even started with the preliminaries." He grinned, blinking at her.

"Mr. Jones..." she started what seemed to be a petulant comeback, but he lifted a hand to stop her. 

"Killian will do," he smiled. “Or Captain, if you prefer something more formal.”

"Whatever." She went on, "let me make this clear: you're expendable. You're here just because you were the first name on the list, but that doesn't mean that I can't discharge you and choose the second one."

Killian remembered who the ‘second one’ was. Some bloke full of bullshit named Cassidy, whom he had met while waiting for a test to run. The thought of that piece of work and this beautiful young lady in the same room sent an unexpected shiver down his spine. He suddenly felt like he had to protect her, but why? "Oh, but you won't, because Royals never settle for second best. Besides, you don't intimidate me, Princess. I believe you're the one who's going to lose here." Confidence had always been his most effective weapon.

"You're so full of yourself, but at the end of the day I will fulfill my duty. You, on the other hand, will end up with no reward at all. And I've heard the paycheck is quite alluring. Wasn't that why you applied in the first place?" Damn woman, he thought. She knew how to push his buttons. 

Something about the Princess captivated him but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. He studied her. She was guarded, she clearly didn’t want him to look through her barriers. But it wasn’t all due to her status, it seemed more of a protective measure. 

He decided it was time to stop with his demeanor; he shouldn't have even started from the beginning. What was he thinking? Flirting with a girl so young. But innuendos and suggestive remarks had always been his coping mechanisms in a thorny situation.

A muscle clenched in his jaw and with a more serious tone of voice he asked, "How old are you?"

"Excuse me?" Her eyes widened for a brief moment. She looked him up and down as if she was wondering who he was exactly. 

The fleeting crack in her stance she had just shown him confirmed to Killian that there was much more behind those pompous Royal walls of hers. "You are way too young. How old are you?" He insisted.

"Not much younger than you are." The Princess put her hands on her hips and immediately stepped back. Her posture was rigid, her mouth set in a firm thin line, her eyes cold and challenging. 

"Appearances can be deceiving. I'm quite a lot older than you can imagine. I’m not from here, and I’ve been in many lands where time runs differently."

She seemed to consider his words for a few seconds. "I'm seventeen." She answered, but before he could react she went on to explain,“and tonight the three moons of New Tolemac will align with the northern star, which makes the best scenario for me to conceive a Royal Heir.” 

“This is the most preposterous nonsense I've ever heard.” Killian knew what he was supposed to do in that room, but this was insane. The girl was only seventeen years old, she had a whole life in front of her.

"I don't expect you to understand. As you said, you're from another planet. In this realm, we follow the rules. And my parents raised me to be a reliable part of the Royal Family, who in spite of my age can assume the responsibilities of a pregnancy, and consequently raise a child to be our future King."

"The same sweet dear parents that locked you up in a room to be fucked by the first random guy of the week, I presume?"

"It's not locked. I can go out whenever I want." She answered in the same pragmatic tone with which she had been speaking the whole time.

He couldn't believe what he was hearing, how could she agree to these methods? But maybe, if it was true that she had been raised for this purpose, the King and Queen had probably done everything in their power to not let her think otherwise. "But you won't." He stated as a matter of fact. 

"Of course, I won't. I'm here to fulfill my duties." She replied, and it didn't slip by him that it was the second time she had used the exact same words, as if they were a memorized speech. 

“Oh, come on, don't tell me you've never imagined a grandiloquent wedding.” He tried to tease her.

“I will marry a suitable candidate when the right time comes, but it's definitely not on my agenda at the moment.” She explained as if it was the most obvious thing in all the worlds. 

“A suitable candidate? No knight in shining armor who will rescue you from your miserable existence?”

“I'm no damsel in distress, Captain Jones.” She answered, emphasizing his rank, “I don't need to be rescued.”

“What about love?” He needed to probe her limits, to know what was behind her walls.

“Love is overrated. We are at war. There's no time for such trivialities.”

That surprised him. “I had no idea New Tolemac was at war.” 

“Maybe not right now, but the Lepka Industry is pushing forward, and we all know the consequences.”

Killian definitely knew something about those consequences. I've seen with my own eyes what that monster is capable of. He thought to himself. Invading a peaceful planet and depleting all the resources until it ends up imploding with no safe getaway for its inhabitants. It was a painful memory he had spent years trying to avoid and eventually forget. “I’m well aware of The Industry’s methods.” 

“Then, you of all people should understand the importance of some good defensive measures.”

“But The Industry is very far from here.” He wasn’t sure why the Government of this planet was so intimidated by a faraway menace.

“For now. But we have to be prepared for every possibility. And the population will need their rightful ruler when the time comes.” The Princess explained. “So, if everything is clear, I'd like to get started.” She added.

Killian stared at her. He was starting to understand. She seemed so young and somehow vulnerable, but behind that fragile appearance she was a tough lass, and he liked it. Still, he believed that this was a terrible mistake. “I'm not going to touch you.”

“What?” She asked outraged. “This is not what you've signed on for.” 

Killian shrugged. “I've changed my mind.”

“Why?” She inquired with wide open eyes, and he couldn’t decide if she was shocked by his refusal to follow an order, or if it was the rejection that was hurting her. 

He stepped forward, and now they were so close he could spot some golden flecks in her emerald eyes. “Because no woman in any land should be treated like this, no matter how noble the reasons are.” He almost whispered.

“I'm not being treated in any way.” She replied in the same low voice. “This is my choice and my duty. My planet needs an heir that will be able to lead it.” 

“You are the heir.” He stated and made a step back. Then, he lifted a hand to his head as if he was suddenly remembering something and added in a mocking way, “But oh, I forgot, you're a woman, which means that you can't govern because of some stupid rules.” 

“You don't understand.” She hissed through her teeth, now clearly annoyed. “This is the only chance I have to save my people.” 

“Well, then, do whatever you have to do, savior, but not with me.” Killian bowed to let her clear that the conversation was over from his point of view. “Sorry Princess, but as appealing as it may look, I'm not going to have sex with you.”

"You're wasting my time!” She didn’t raise her voice, but she definitely looked furious now. “Guards!” She shouted, and when the door opened she ordered: “escort this man outside the Palace's boundaries."

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***

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Eight full moons after.

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Taverns in New Tolemac were scarce, leisure activities were not banned, but not happily welcomed either. The Crimson Crown was probably the worst tavern Killian had set foot in, and he had been in many of them. A band was trying to lighten the atmosphere, but the music was awful and the acoustics even worse. Killian didn't mind; his gaze fixed on the bottle he was grabbing. The glass long forgotten, he was swirling the amber liquid inside, or what was left of it. His senses were with him: the cold crystal in his hand, the out of tune string in his ears, the sour taste in his mouth; but his mind, his mind was in a place very, very far from where he was sitting.

"In which galaxy are you right now?"

He had completely zoned out and forgotten he had company. "Come again?" He tried to focus on the presence beside him.

"What's bothering you? And don't tell me it's nothing, 'cause that look on your face speaks volumes." 

Robin was his best friend, his only friend would be more exact to say. He wasn't from around here either, but he had been living in New Tolemac for much longer than Killian. The two of them had known each other since Killian had landed on this damned planet. 

Two foreigners, two lonely souls with no attachments, maybe that's why they connected so easily. 

But Killian was in no mood for conversation, not tonight. He was going to finally leave this planet once and for all: he had bought the last piece he needed to fix the engine of his spaceship first thing in the morning. A couple of days more just to arrange everything and he would pack his things and fly away. 

He had asked Robin to go with him, to search for a better life in a more hospitable place, and his friend eagerly accepted the invitation. They had ended up in that tavern to celebrate it. Killian should have been euphoric. But his guts were clenching. Why wasn’t he so happy to leave as he was supposed to be?

Nine months had passed since his unfortunate landing. So many more than those he would have stayed if he had had the chance to leave. Eight months since the day he met the Princess.

No, no, no. He thought, shaking his head. Don't let your mind go down that path again. He warned himself.

Killian drew the bottle up his lips, but a hand stopped his movement. 

"Easy. Don't you think you've had enough for tonight?"

"There's no such a thing as enough alcohol." He grunted, but the hand didn't relent. "Fuck off, Robin!" He exclaimed. 

"Your enchanting behavior doesn't work with me." Robin retorted ironically. "Come on, let's get out of this place." He added tugging at Killian's arm. 

The air outside was thick and humid. "Bloody summer" Killian cursed while stumbling over a little rock. As he regained balance he realized that maybe his friend was right, and even if he could hold his rum, he might have had too many drinks. 

They walked silently side by side for a while, since one of the perks of having a best friend is that you don't need to entertain the other person all the time. So Killian's mind started meandering through a road he had tried to avoid just a few minutes before.  

"It's completely bad form." He exclaimed eventually. 

"What is?" Robin asked, probably taken a little aback at his abrupt words. 

"I just wanted to help her. Why didn't she accept my help?" Killian went on without many further explications. 

"Wha...?" Robin started to ask, but then realization clearly struck him. "After all these months why are you still thinking about her?"

"Fucking ice bitch." Killian cursed. 

"I beg your pardon?" Robin was having problems in following his friend's thoughts. 

"It's the moniker I chose for her, don't you think it's accurate?" The other said as if it was the most obvious thing.

Robin shook his head. "It's not like you to talk this way about a woman. You must be really wasted." And after a moment of silence, each of them lost in their own inner world, Robin asked: "Are you sure you can get home safely by yourself?"

Killian stopped and realized that they had arrived at a crossroad where their paths back home diverged. "I'm fine, mate." He replied with a little persuading smile. 

"I'll call you in the morning... or not. You tend to be a bit irritable when you're hungover." 

"Good night to you, too." Killian answered back ironically. And they went separate ways.

The night was still young, at least for Killian's standards, so he decided to walk a bit more, clear his mind, and his feet brought him near the water. The sound of the ocean waves crashing into the shore had always calmed him. 

He inhaled deeply the salted breeze and for a while he just stood there staring into the horizon that was clearly visible due to the bright light of the three full moons. After a while lost in his thoughts, he was almost ready to call it a night when he noticed a presence not far from where he was standing. 

Someone was sitting on a large rock in a meditative position with straight back and crossed legs, hands resting on the knees. It was the Princess, as if she had somehow materialized from his thoughts. But how could it possibly be?

Maybe he had already passed out and was now dreaming, he thought, or maybe he was simply hallucinating because of the high level of alcohol in his veins. Otherwise, he would never have trespassed the Palace's limits without being aware of it, which could only mean problems.

He should turn back home, he knew it. But as a moth is attracted by a flame, he was drawn by her. While approaching her silhouette, he could make out her closed eyes. 

He didn’t mean to startle her, so he cleared his throat to announce his presence. The Princess opened only one eye; if she was surprised to see him she didn’t show it. “I’m trying to concentrate.” She closed her eye again and went on with whatever she was doing.

“Beautiful night, isn’t it?” He asked nonchalantly, disregarding her statement.

“Do you need help finding your way back home, Mr. Jones? From the smell that precedes you, I assume you may not have realized that you entered a property where you’re not welcome.” She said without changing her position.

“You remember me! It’s always a pleasure to know I did a good impression!” He exclaimed cheerfully. “I mean, it’s quite some time we haven’t come across each other.” But after a deeper glimpse at her, he realized that the curves of her dress weren’t the result of the breeze. She was very much pregnant. "And you clearly let that bastard fuck you." The words left his mouth before he could even think about them. 

She didn’t move, didn’t even open her eyes. He hadn’t exactly approached her with the intention to start an argument, but now that the cards were already on the table, there was no point in going back on his words, so he went on. "Of course you couldn't disappoint mom and daddy. But let me tell you one thing, no mother or father would ever do something like that to their own daughter.”

She was making an effort ignoring him if the sudden increase in her breathing rhythm was a hint, but that was all he obtained from her. “Don't you see it?” Killian insisted. “They are not some loving parents, you're just a pawn in their hands. They don't have a legitimate heir to the throne, because, oh what a shame, you are a girl! So they raised you just to give them what they've ever wanted: a boy." 

He knew he was hurting her. She hadn't moved a muscle during his speech, but he saw her bottom lip trembling in spite of her efforts to remain untouched. Nevertheless, he couldn’t give a damn. He had nothing to lose at this point. At least she would listen to everything he had needed to tell her since the day he left the Palace eight months before.

"Do you really think they will let you take care of your child? Don't be so naive. They will probably discard you as soon as you give birth. They have locked you inside this prison for all your life, a shiny beautiful cage, that is, but still a prison. You don't have a life of your own. They didn’t let anyone near you. Nobody knows you, and nobody will care about you when you will be expendable."

At those words she finally opened her eyes and if looks could kill he would be instantly dead. She was angry, he could see that, probably furious with him, but there was more, her eyes had become a little watery and a turmoil of feelings was passing through them, he could read it. He held a hand up and didn't let her speak "No need to call the guards this time. I'm going to walk myself out of this miserable place with great pleasure." 

Fucking ice bitch is not so icy after all. He thought while crossing the Royal Palace's limits. And yes, he was probably drunk, but not enough to forget that he didn't want to stay on this ridiculous planet another day more than necessary. He needed to repair his ship and fly far, far away from here as soon as he could. He would be damned if he didn't. 

[recurring-polynya]

🔆 — obviously they end up married and procreating, but in your headcanon, do you see them expanding their family? Having more kids? Being content with just Ichika? She seems like 2 kids in one kids body. Where do you see the Abarai family in the future?

🔆 do they see themselves together for the long run ? like , getting married , starting a family , and all that jazz ?

So, when I first found out the timing on Ichika, I was honestly pretty upset about it. Part of it is that I think it’s nice for people to be married for a while without kids. We don’t know when Rukia and Renji actually started seeing each other romantically, but my personal preference is that it happened late, possibly during or after the TYBWA. We do know from WDKALY that they had a pretty short engagement, and then conceived Ichika almost immediately following the wedding. It’s kinda depressing to me that they would have this huge separation, followed by two years of slow burn, followed by six months of dating -> engaged -> married and then BAM preggo. Dang.

Secondly, even though she’s been a lieutenant for a year, tops, Rukia is now acting captain of a squad that has just taken enormous losses, one of her top officers has just transferred to Squad 4, and the Soul Society is in ruins. This seems like... a terrible time to have a baby?

On top of all this, Rukia has never struck me as a person who has always dreamed of being a mom or would be particularly delighted to find herself pregnant. I’m not saying she wouldn’t want to be a mom, or that she wouldn’t be a good one (I am not a particularly maternal mom, and to be honest, I think we could use some better representation). I think Renji would both like to be a dad and would be an excellent and intuitive dad, but he loves Rukia for who she is. He would accept not having kids before he would try to talk her into doing something she didn’t want to.

I am a compulsive fix-it person, but within the confines of canon, so I spent a lot of time trying to make sense of all this. In my ongoing, low-burn, canon-spanning fanfic epic, I tried to put in a few earlier scenes where Rukia interacts with some Kuchiki family members who have babies, and starts to feel some stirrings that having babies doesn’t mean quitting your job and your personality. She’s always valued her independence, but she’s also been alone for a really long time, and at the same time she is trying to adjust to the idea of maybe she would like to have a romantic partner, she’s learning the trials and tribulations of having a sibling, and she’s really re-examining her entire concept of family.

I have never been particularly fond, either, of the idea that Ichika is somehow the Kuchiki heir (and I don’t think she is, especially since she has Renji’s name, but we really don’t know for sure and it’s a common enough idea in fanfic), because the entire Kuchiki family is kind of a drag and also they are problematic billionaires and I don’t like Rukia and Renji just blindly assimilating into that. As a compromise, I came up with the idea that maybe Byakuya named Rukia and Renji a branch family to the Kuchiki (his favorite branch family, don’t tell anyone), so they’re part of the family, but pretty far off from the actual succession and they have a lot of freedom to Start Shit and make the other nobles clutch their pearls constantly.

Bringing it all together, I can finally start to make some sense of this. Rukia and Renji get married with the sense that they would like a family, plus they are somewhat obligated to generate an Heir. It’s shitty timing for sure, but the timing is only going to get shittier. I have heard of women who get PhDs and have babies in grad school. On one hand, this is an absolutely bananas thing to do. On the other, if you know that’s what you want, it is entirely rational, because at least most grad students have a flexible schedule and it’s better than having toddlers when you’re trying to get tenure. If you can manage it, this is actually a really effective way to manage a scientific career. So, in other words, they had their (1) baby, and then Rukia got down to brass tacks, training her bankai and getting her squad in shape. I can definitely see Renji in a primary caregiver role (I think they have a nanny, but he scales back at work and takes care of a lot of stuff), and that also partially explains why he’s still a vice-captain. (If any of this is compelling to you, I did write a short story about it once)

Now, I am actually going to get to your question and the answer is: it depends on what happens in a theoretical continuation of Bleach.

Rukia has just been officially been named a captain in the Bleach epilogue. I think that if things continue to be peaceful, and she settles into her role, after a few years, I could definitely see them sitting down at dinner and saying “you wanna have a big family?” Maybe two or even three more. Ichika is practically an adult at this point, but given the longevity of souls in Soul Society, I feel like it’s not uncommon for kids to have even multiple decades between them. I don’t think she would have any bitter feelings about this, she has always appreciated as being an integrated part of their lives, even when it got a little hectic and also she really loves her baby sibs.

On the other hand, if there’s another big war or an extended period of low-level conflict, I don’t think they would have any regrets if Ichika turned out to be an only child. Rukia and Renji have had a tremendous number of awful things happen to them in their life, and I think they have a tendency to focus on what they have instead of what they don’t.

The primary thing that I think would put a crimp in further kid plans is if Renji had to take a captaincy. I don’t think Renji particularly wants to be a captain, although he would be an excellent one. The way the setup of captains is after the timeskip, I cannot imagine anyone retiring, so I can’t see this happening in the peaceful scenario. I have no idea whose place he would even take. In fact, even if some captains got killed in some future conflict, I would think that by that point, Kira or Hinamori, for example, would be more likely to step up and take over their squads than to bring in Renji. Renji certainly wouldn’t take 1, 2, 4, 12 or 13, and they already blew the storyline where Byakuya dies and he takes 6. I suppose he could take one of the other squads if they lost both captain and vice-captain. Renji becoming the new Kenpachi is the spiciest possible take and I would read the shit out of that.

The actually family development I would like to see would be for Byakuya to get married, dude it is your job. Are you guys ready for my dream Byakuya love story that I will never, ever write because I do not ship him with any existing characters and I would die if I had to tag something Byakuya x OC? TOO BAD, here it is anyway: I think Byakuya doesn’t think he could ever fall in love again, and up until the main Bleach storyline, the idea of being remarrying is abhorrent to him. After a few years of being an ancillary part of the Abarai family, though, I think he could finally bring himself to find some suitably noble wife to Bear Him an Heir. In Byakuya fashion, I imagine he would dig through a bunch of genealogy records and find some woman who is the dead end of some old lineage of Great Soul Society Generals or some shit and out-of-the-blue proposes to her. This woman is the Spinster to End All Spinsters. She is like, 400 years older than him. She is not conventionally attractive and wears a lot of sweaters she knits herself. She has a lot of special interests, including carnivorous plants, and is extremely hardcore about her hobbies. She is the Sybil fucking Ramkin of Soul Society. Her spiritual energy is bonkers. She and Byakuya do not get along at all, but that’s okay because they have big plans to ignore one another (aside from procreational intercourse). Rukia is losing her mind. Renji is trying to smooth things over. Nothing is smoothed. Hitsugaya rather likes her and keeps trying to give Byakuya pep talks. Finally, like, Byakuya’s prize orchid almost dies and she saves it and Byakuya goes full heart eyes for her, and he has to be romantic at her. He wears an ill-fitting sweater she makes.

So, to sum up: Rukia and Renji get married, have Ichika. Byakuya gets remarried, makes an heir or three. Twenty to thirty years later, Renji quits to go be the stay-at-home soccer dad he’s always wanted to be. Byakuya Jr. becomes Vice-Captain at the Sixth (or possibly Ichika? That would be fine, too). Rukia eventually becomes head captain. When the younger batch of Abarai kids get old enough, someone convinces Renji to run for office and he becomes the Leslie Knope of the Central 46. Bam. The best timeline.

[luvdsc]

hello!! i absolutely love all your works so much cat, they’re truly a masterpiece. especially sweeter than honey! in my opinion it’s one of the best nct fanfics out there, the way you’ve captured the characters so perfectly is amazing, and it’s absolutely mind blowing how you’ve managed to make it so realistic with a comedic love struck side as well, i’m in love truly. if you don’t mind of course i noticed that you have some tips on writing, but i wanted to ask some specific questions! first of all, i thinks it’s so cool how you’re able to drag out your works instead of getting to the point straight away! i know a lot of it has to do with details but how do you find the right ones and when to state them? how do you place them in the writing and word them out instead of making it sound forced or like a whole description? second, you always know the exact words to use! do you do research for the vocabulary or do you just know them? and third, how do you perfectly word out what the character is feeling? it seems as if you’re just in their head! anyways just a few questions but if you don’t want to answer for any reason (cause any reason is a valid reason) it’s totally cool!! and you can just accept this as a regular compliment, thank you so much cat! 💕💕

hello, honey bee! 💘 omg thank you so so soo much for loving my works !!!! 🥺💗 sweeter than honey is my baby, my pride and joy, and i'm so happy that you think it's one of the best nct fanfics, thank you, sweetpea 😭🌸🌸 i've grown quite attached to all the characters in it since i've spent so much time writing about them, so my heart is happy that you think i captured the members' personalities accurately 💜 aaaa i think the reason why it feels realistic is because the story is based on my own real life experiences in hs! aside from the confession, every scene is based on my own memories, so i wrote exactly how i felt and reacted in the scene for y/n and described everything as i remembered :') i'm so glad to know that it translated well from memory to fiction! 💞

for your first question - first of all, thank you for thinking that all the details are well placed and pertinent to the story, sweetpea 💓 i wish i could answer this, but well, i write without planning ahead. i literally just word vomit everything in a google doc and hope it comes out ok akjlshfasd i suppose a good way to think about it is describing the place / setting near the beginning to set the scene. and then put yourself in y/n's shoes - for example, if you're in a coffee shop, what would you notice throughout your stay there? if you're running late, you would check the simple black clock ticking on the brick wall to see how late you are, right? when you're ordering, you would scan the spotless glass case filled with instagram worthy blueberry scones and thick slices of lemon loaf drizzled with vanilla icing, right? and you would drop a couple coins into the cracked mason jar decorated with a bright label stating "TIPS!!!", right? incorporate details into actions that characters do! if we're still going with the coffee shop scenario, a generic sentence would be "you order a drink and sit down at the table to wait." you can add in details to this to make it more personable. "you order a drink and sit down at the table. the table was wooden and had some crumbs on it. you wait impatiently for the coffee to be ready." this is adding detail, but like you said, it feels like a forced description. instead, you can incorporate details within the sentence without throwing a whole length monologue about the table to make it more natural. a better way imo to write it would be: "after placing an order for an iced matcha latte, you sink down in a nearby chair, flicking off the crumbs on the wooden table surface and tapping your fingers impatiently." - it's more realistic by adding in details, such as what drink you order, "sink down" shows that you're feeling a bit tired and weary, "flicking off the crumbs on the wooden table surface" describes the table without making it blatantly obvious, and "tapping your fingers impatiently" is a common action people do when waiting. incorporating details throughout the fic like so instead of blatantly describing it should make it feel more natural!

for your second question - i am a very lazy writer who does this as a hobby, so i do absolutely zero research on vocabulary. tbh, i think the words i use are fairly simplistic, like whenever i use this wordcounter site, it puts the reading level of my fic at like 9th - 10th grade LOL no SAT level vocabulary is in there i think asldhfladf

for your third question - for emotions, a good rule of thumb is show, not tell. describe actions to show people's emotions, rather than just stating how they feel. "she is sad" can be written as "her face crumples as she sobs, teardrops slipping down her cheeks and tangling in her eyelashes." this ties into my earlier point where i talk about writing my own reactions and experiences. if a character is feeling mad, recall a time where you also felt mad - think how you felt at the time, what actions you did, etc. and write it as such for your character. if a character has a different personality from yourself and you think they would act out differently, something you can do is think about someone in your life who has a similar personality to the character you're writing about. how would they react in this situation? or how did they actually react in a situation similar to what you're writing about?

i hope these are helpful and answered your questions, lovebug! 💘 let me know if you have any other questions or if any of my answers don't make sense, and i can try to clarify what i meant :') and thank you so so much again for the sweetest compliments about my writing, honey bee 💞💞💞

[fanfiction-abyss]

Hey there! I absolutely love your works so I decided to request ✨ can you please make a fanfic of Amane and Nene going on that date to the movies in the PP arc? They never went on it and I was kind of disappointed because I was actually looking forward to it :( Anyway, sorry if this is a bother. Feel free to ignore this but either way thank you for bringing your outstanding writing to the public for people like me who thrive for ships to read 😤🌸

TBHK ONESHOT

Bro, when I read this request I was so excited, thank you!!! 🥺👉👈

Amane Yugi (Hanako-kun) x Nene Yashiro

MOVIE NIGHT

The ticking of the clock on the wall was all Nene heard as she bubbled in her last final question. Sweat dripped down her cheek as she passed it to the teacher and she plopped herself on her desk.

"It's finally over...!"

She sighed as she rummaged through her bag, successfully locating her pencil case. She picked it up, showing two familiar movies tickets. With her other hand, she picked them up and examined them.

This was back then... when Hanako-kun asked me on a... d-date!

Instantly, her already pink cheeks darkened with red, as she lowered her head.

With everything that happened and with finals, it totally slipped my mind! ... but, now that I think about it... a movie date with Hanako-kun... I wonder how that could've gone...

Thanks to the many romance novels Nene tended to read, many scenarios were meticulously built in her head. That is until, Nene Yashiro asked herself a very hard hitting question.

Why am I thinking like this, it's not like I like Hanako-kun! ... Do I like Hanako-kun?

Memories of the harsh teasing Amane put her through popped into her head.

No, no way!

Butt Nene couldn’t help the flutter of her heart as she remembered the valuable moments where Amane was vulnerable and attractive in front of her.

Do I like him?!

She groaned as her head was greatly bowed in defeat. Aoi, noticing the sudden moodiness from her friend, decided to approach her.

"Nene-chan, is something bothering you?" Nene picked her head up with a comical tear stuck in the corner of her eyes.

"Ao-chan..."

"You know, you can trust me with anything, Nene-chan! I'm your best friend for a reason, right?" Aoi enveloped Nene's carried hands, and sweetly smiled at the girl.

"Ao-chan... I think that I like somebody..." Said friend immediately perked up at this new information, sparkles coming out of her.

"But before you get too excited... this person... isn't even my type!" The tears were finally let go and ran down Nene's cheeks. Aoi watched with mild amusement as Nene clenched the stuff in her hands tightly.

"Were you going to ask this person on a movie date?" Nene stopped crying and blinked at Aoi, who pointed at the movie tickets.

"O-Oh! No! It's... um... really hard to explain... but! I don't know what to do! This guy isn't my type, so what if I get to excited and something bad happens...?" Aoi hummed and tilted her head in thought.

"Well, I think you should give him a chance! This is the guy you keep talking about, right? Well, to me it seems like he really cares about you too! For now, why not ask him on a date-" Aoi took a quick glance at the tickets "- and then you'll see how it goes! Plus, why wait, when in the end, you'll get one result!" Nene clutched the tickets near her chest, a slight melancholy brushed her.

That's right... why wait, after all...

Shaking the thoughts out of her head, Nene looked at Aoi with furrowed eyes.

"I'll try that, Ao-chan-"

"Ao-chan! Let me walk you home!" Akane popped into the conversation, looking at Aoi with a hopeful smile.

"Well, Nene-chan, I wish the best of luck! Bye-bye!" Aoi walked out of the classroom, Akane trailing closely behind her. Nene packed her stuff, putting away the tickets as well, and marched out of the classroom. People moved out of her way, wary of the aura she was emitting. Nene stopped as soon as she reached the door to the girl's bathroom, a drop of sweat dripped down her neck.

Now that I'm here... I don't know how to ask...

She squatted down, stuffed her face in her hands and groaned.

I should've asked Kou-kun to come with me... but then, it wouldn't count as a date... argh! I don't know what to do! Should I just straight out ask him? Will that be alright...?

"-shiro?"

"-ashiro..."

"Yashiro!"

With a squeal, Nene covered her ear, backing away from the person behind her. She stumbled inside the restroom and glanced at the doorway, seeing a smirking Amane.

"W-what was that for, Hanako-kun?!" Nene cried out, pouting at the playful ghost, who floated near her.

"Well, I noticed you, but it seemed that you didn't notice me, so I waited for a bit, but then I got bored and here we are!"

"Man, you're mean, Hanako-kun! I can't believe I was going to ask you-" Nene quickly put her hands over her mouth, her eyes wide. Amane blinked.

"Ask the wholesome Hanako what?" Nene turned away from him, causing him to become more curious.

"Come on, tell me, Yashiro!" He began poking her cheek, until she sighed and held Amane's hands, stopping his antics.

"W-well... I was thinking, maybe you and I, could maybe have... some sort of movie night?" His eyes began to sparkle at her suggestion.

"Woah! Sounds like fun!"

"Really?!"

"Yep! Have you asked the boy?"

"No, not yet- w-wait, Kou-kun?!"

"Yeah... it is a movie night, so we should ask him what types of movies so we can pitch in what we like." Nene fiddled with her fingers, looking down at the ground.

"T-that's true, but..." Amane smirked and flicked Nene's forehead, causing the girl to pout once more.

"Or were you thinking of asking me on a date, you perverted radish?" Nene's eyes widen, her cheeks becoming red again.

"Y-Yes!" Amane stood still for a few seconds before steam came out of his ears, his gaze avoiding Nene.

"Please don't... joke around like that..." Nene somehow felt relieved by the boys shy response, confidence growing. Her hands enveloped his, which made him look at her in the eyes, honey yellow clashing with rosy pink.

"It's not a joke, Hanako-kun! Let's have a date!"

"W-What?!" A new voice came from the entry, gaining the attention of the two in the room. Kou stood there, his face a mixture of shock and confusing.

"Ah." Both Nene and Amane didn't know a better way to react. Nene was the first one to form some sort of reply, she let go of Amane and began waving her hands around.

"K-Kou-kun! W-Well you see-"

"Senpai, you want to go on a date with this pervert?! He's done nothing, but tease you and cause problems! He's not even your type!" Nene face visibly gloomed, Kou didn't finish.

"Plus, he's a perverted ghost!"

“Oi, you already said that!”

"...when you put it like that..." Amane pouted and slung his arm around Nene, pushing her closer.

"Well, you're too late, boy! Yashiro and I are going to have a date and there's nothing you could do about it!" Amane stuck out his tongue, which caused a vein to pop out on Kou's temple. He looked at Nene with despair.

"Are you really going to go on a date with that guy?" Nene nodded.

"I know what you mean about all the stuff you've said about Hanako-kun being a pervert..." This made Amane choke on his spit. "...but, if I'm being honest, having a date with a guy I like would make me really happy..." Kou and Amane looked at Nene in surprise. The apparition leaned on the stall doors, shrugging his shoulders.

"Well, you heard her, boy. We got to respect her wishes." Kou sighed, running his hand through his hair.

"Alright, I'll respect your wishes, senpai." With glistening eyes, Nene tilted her head.

"You will?!" Kou nodded as he put his hands on his hips.

"But!"

"But?"

"I will stay nearby just in case anything suspicious happens!" He glared at Amane who began to protest.

"Although I won't like it, if that's what it takes then, okay!" Nene nodded firmly, her mind made up.

"Oh, when's it gonna happen?" Sharing a single glance, Amane and Nene came to a unspoken agreement.

“Tomorrow, since it’s Friday and we won’t have finals!” Kou hummed in thought, putting a finger on his chin.

“Alright, that sounds good!” Not being able to hide her bright smile, Nene gripped the straps of her bag and walked out of the restroom, looking over her shoulder to wave at the boys.

“I’ll ask Tsuchigomori-sensei if we could use a classroom and it’s projector to watch a movie! See ya!” With a skip to her step, her cream colored bouncing behind her. After she left, Kou and Amane shared glares, with Kou pointing towards the ghost.

“Just a warning, don’t try anything funny with senpai!” Kou stomped out, fuming and not sparing a glance to the pouting ghost.

“You guys were supposed clean the bathroom today...”

Tomorrow came for Nene Yashiro, who had a bag filled with blankets, snacks and several DVDs (most of them included hamster related movies or ones she thought Amane would like). She arrived at school earlier than usual, went to the classroom Tsuchigomori allowed her to use, dropped the stuff off, then waited in her homeroom classroom, watching her classmates slowly pour in. The day was a blur for Nene Yashiro, who’s smile never faltered throughout the day. This concerned Aoi, but she has happy seeing her friend happy. When the end of the day bell rang, the blue haired best friend made her way to Nene, who slung her backpack on, waved at her fervently and dashed out of the classroom. Nene stormed past many classrooms and startled students, before skidding to a halt in front of the girls bathroom. Slightly panting, Nene walked into the bathroom and began looking around rather meekly. 

“Hanako-kun...?” The said ghost wasn’t in sight. Nene’s eyebrows furrowed and she called out again, only to be met by silence. 

“Don’t tell me he forgot...”

“Did you really think I would forget?” Amane appeared in front, of her, causing the girl to step back in surprise. He was floating backwards, his hand on his hat to make sure it stayed in place. The ghost had a small frown.

“I’m hurt by that accusation, Yashiro... I don’t think I’m up for this now...” His looked away from Nene disheartening.

“E-Eh?! Sorry Hanako-kun!” His expression quickly turned into a mischievous one.

“Just kidding!” A cold wind blew past the couple, as Nene turned away from him.

“You know what, just forget it...” 

“Geh! I’m sorry, Yashiro! I’m sorry!” Puffing out her cheeks, Nene glared at the black haired ghost.

“Don’t play around like that, then!” Amane shrugged.

“Can’t make promises!” He looked away from Nene’s ferocious glare.

Well, I could make an exception today...

“Anyways, lets go!” He linked hands with Nene and began walking to the designated classroom. 

“Wait, do you even know where to go?”

“Yeah, Tsuchigomori-sensei told me!”

“Oh, I see! But what about Kou-kun?”

“Who knows, anyways, lets go enjoy ourselves! Give me a ‘Yeah!’” Nene cheered with Amane who totally didn’t ask a certain spider to give a certain exorcist some made up detention. 

“We’re here! Lets see what you’ve prepared Yashiro!” Entering the unoccupied class, Nene immediately went to her bag and bought out all the stuff. 

“Pick a movie and set it up, Hanako-kun! I’ll set up the fort!”

“Fort?” Nene showed him the many blankets she bought.

“Fort!” Humming pleasantly, Hanako nodded, looking through the many of the DVDs his companion had bought. One stuck out to him the most.

Hamster Galactic War? Wasn’t this the movie... 

The scene replayed in his mind, back then when it was him who asked her on a date.

Well, she does like hamsters, right?

He chose it and looked at the laptop and projector on the desk, blankly.

“Hey, Yashiro, what’s this?” Looking up, Nene stifled a laugh.

“You don’t know how to set that up?” Shaking his head in shame, Amane scratched his red cheek.

“D-Don’t laugh...” Nene’s eyes slightly widened at the scene.

There’s another vulnerable Hanako-kun...

“Well, no matter, lets switch places!” Amane agreed and Nene quickly set up the movie. After she was satisfied with the size of the projected screen, she let out a cheer.

“Done!” The duo looked at each other and smiled. Amane looked at the screen with amazement while Nene clapped her hands at the fort. 

“Alright, ready, Hanako-kun?” The boy nodded and as the movie began playing, Nene bought out the snacks and sat besides Amane, who was already reaching for a bag of chips. The movie didn’t really interest Amane and he diverged his attention to the girl next to him, who was reacting to the movie quite well. A small smile appeared on his face.

I’m glad that she’s enjoying herself even after everything she’s found out...

He felt a peaceful calm wash over his body, watching as Nene laughed at the hamsters tripping over their feet. He reach for her hand, which caught her attention.

“What’s wrong, Hanako-kun?”

“Nothing... is it okay if I hold your hand?” Nene eyed their intertwined hands, a flurry of warmth spread on her cheeks.

“Y-yeah!” Amane relaxed even more, caressing her soft hands with his thumb.

“Okay great! You enjoying yourself?’

“Yeah, lots! Thank you, Hanako-kun!” Nene bought out a toothy grin, which made her seem like an actual teenager enjoying a normal date. Amane had forgotten that feeling of enjoying his short youth. He’d forgotten how it felt being a normal teenager, hanging out with people after class had ended. Many years had past without these feelings, yet here Nene, someone who’s situation was beyond normal, bought them out. Amane couldn’t stop the words slipping out of his mouth.

“No, thank you, Yashiro...” As Nene gazed his expression, she couldn’t help but understand what his solemn expression meant. 

Maybe we can watch a movie about space after...

She wanted nothing, but to enjoy and share her happiness with the apparition next to her.

☆○●☆○●☆○●☆○●☆○●☆○●☆○●☆○●

Kou sprinted down the halls with exasperation written on his face.

That damned spider-face made me stay really late...!

He reached the classroom, slamming the door aside. 

“Sorry senpai! Oi, Hanako, you better- Eh?!” The classroom was empty with no sign of either teen.

“I was too late!” 

Sorry for the wait :(!! I hope this was up to your expectations and thank you for the support! Also sorry if it seems a little rushed!

Tags : @classicalsylph @amandarin-orangesss @chuluuwu 

[thesunnyshow]

Name: Bel

Writing Blog URL(s): @skzctnightnight

What fandom(s) do you write for? Kpop: Stray Kids and NCT

Age: 27

Nationality: American

Languages: English

Star Sign: Capricorn

MBTI: ENFP-T

Favorite color: Pink 

Favorite food: Chocolate covered marshmallows

Favorite movie: Who Framed Roger Rabbit

Favorite ice cream flavor: Cookie dough

Favorite animal: Dogs

Go-to karaoke song: Do Ya Think I’m Sexy by Rod Stewart or if they have it, Teenage Dirtbag by Wheatus (I do NOT go to karaoke anymore)

Dream job (whether you have a job or not): Court reporter

Coffee or tea? What are you ordering? 

Coffee! Iced Americano or a Cafe au Lait. 

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose? Time stop

If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose? 

Golden age of Hollywood, but purely as an invisible visitor

If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you? 

Not at all. 

Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken? 

100 chicken sized horses. Chickens have sharp bits!

If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been? 

Like a stock character? Cool loser, not so socially awkward you can’t hang out with her, but also just weird enough that you still might not want to. 

Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures? 

Sure!

Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know? 

I can clap with one hand!

When did you post your first piece? 

January 7, 2019, 6:38 PM

Why did you decide to write for Tumblr?

Tumblr was my home for years shortly after it began, and I left it before I graduated college. When I got back into kpop, I never knew there was a fic community for it on tumblr! I wanted the sense of community that I missed from first being here.

Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why? 

I write primarily plotty smut in all sorts of combinations except for crack. 

Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc? 

I write X Reader plots! Sometimes my pieces include an element of ships or OC’s. 

What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most?

I love writing thrillers and mysteries lately, but my bread and butter is developing relationships. I enjoy college au’s and other adult life scenarios, but occasionally I really enjoy finding a perspective I don’t see very often and expanding on that.

What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand?

I love friends to lovers, and adore rivals to lovers. I like power dynamics and developing relationships. I can’t believe I’m admitting this, but I really do not like fate or destiny or soulmates. I like characters that stumble upon a new purpose, or feel that they’re supposed to be with someone, but I feel like destiny is just too convenient.

Who is your favorite person to write about?

I do love writing Han Jisung with all my heart. I love him so much and he has such an amazing personality to work with. I also love writing my Reader inserts.

What inspires you to write? 

I love the satisfaction in crafting a plot and seeing it come together. Making a vision into a tangible piece that you can share and revisit is special, no matter how big or small.  

What is your writing process like?

Typically, I mull over a concept for a couple days before I begin a bullet point outline in google docs. The draft gets added and worked on within the outline until the draft is finalized, and then I finally remove the outline framework. This is typically where the title is made with a header image before I proofread. I read one more time while formatting on tumblr itself and then post!

What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively? 

I take a break, walk away, and come back. If it’s still not there, I write something either related in theme or character or something entirely different so I can get myself worked out. This sort of move has birthed a few side projects that turned into personal favorites. 

What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful? 

My favorite completed work is my series Standby. It began shortly after accepting the fact that I had a new bias that I wasn’t expecting and those feelings seeped into the plot and helped it grow. I never expected to get so invested in this little love story. My most successful work is my series Righteous, which my readers know I have a difficult relationship with. I understand why it has fans, but I still struggle with feeling like I could’ve done so many things better. 

What do you think makes a good story?

I can’t help but feel like it’s good characters and a good plot together, as cheesy as that sounds. Everything needs a satisfying conclusion and good characters help that to be even more satisfying, even if that conclusion is sex.

What do you hope your readers take away from your work?

I hope the plot comes through, as hokey as it sounds. Some of my favorite comments are from readers who weren’t expecting to be so invested from just reading the tags and description. If I can make someone care for a character and make them want a certain ending for them, then I’m happy.

Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose? 

Absolutely! I came from writing original works and the freedom is almost overwhelming at times. You can literally write whatever you want. The key to good fanfiction, though, is understanding the character you’re using and how you are using them in the plot. If the only thing the character has in common with the source is their name and appearance, then what is the point?

Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story? 

I have absolutely considered it, but only for Prowl so far. 

How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you? 

Feedback means the world to me. Whether it’s incoherent praise, or a full length review, or even just a friendly reminder of a tag I missed, everything is valuable and helps keep me moving. Things can take exponentially longer when I’m solely writing for myself, which is easy to feel like with no feedback or engagement. 

What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)? 

Connecting with other writers has been beneficial and satisfactory in multiple ways. Networks and making friends with other writers has helped me improve and share my work. I really don’t think I’d be nearly as successful without these other writers. The community aspect of our craft makes it stronger. 

Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged? 

Definitely! And more lines get drawn the deeper you get. When tumblr first started and fanfiction(dot)net was still the reigning empire, fanfiction was purely taboo to the mainstream. Every writer was Tara Gilesbie and every work was My Immortal. Let’s be entirely real, EL James becoming a household name changed everything. But the medium is under more scrutiny than other fan work, because talent is less surface than in visual mediums. Every author is assumed to be amateur until proven otherwise, and this stigma thankfully lessens the more a reader becomes familiar with the medium. It’s that introductory phase that really affects things. 

Do you think art can be a medium for change? 

Absolutely! Even on a small level. In the smut side of the medium, writers are always using their platform to display ideal examples of consent, communication, and how identity is discussed and expressed. Cheesy, sure, but be the change you want to see in the world. 

Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself? 

I always feel as though I’m writing for others, ever since I first got feedback that my work personally affected someone. I write for them, even if I don’t know who they are. They’re just as important to the story as I am when writing it. I do write for myself, because why else would I? I cook for myself, but food is better when shared. I write for myself, but it’s always better when shared. 

Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times? 

Considering the ethics of the specific nuances of my writing (real people x reader smut) it’s hard not to feel that way, to be honest. 

Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr?

On a need to know basis! My fiancé knows and is incredibly supportive. My friends know (except for friends on Tumblr), and they’re completely supportive or simply don’t mind and pay it no attention. My mom knows, but she doesn’t know I write smut specifically. No one tell my mom lmao. 

What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers? 

I want them to know I love and appreciate all of them. I do want to know more about what they like or don’t like, but I understand why it’s difficult to engage sometimes. 

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there? 

Make a pen name and create a new you. Does anyone actually think my name is Belmont? When you have your new you, get to networking. Socializing is hard, but making friends who support you and want to share your work is important. Start out with requests and hate and doubt your work like everyone else. That fear is normal, that doubt is normal, but it’s how you use that fear and doubt that matters. Use it as fuel to write, and prove it to yourself. 

Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr? 

Sure! There are some users on here who have too much time on their hands and not enough hobbies so they use their precious time on this earth to harass writers. That toxicity makes it tempting to regret this whole venture. 

Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey?

 I keep saying this and I will keep saying this, but I only started this blog after feeling encouraged by Bea @sluttyten to do so. She’s been such an incredible, dear friend, just like Lexi @hellapainyo who came as soon as I started. Moe @wildernessuntothemselves helped me realize some of my strengths and embrace my writing. Rae @starxblossom is truly my younger sister on the other side of the planet, and I love geeking out or plotting together. Yue @yueliangs-wonderland is such an inspiration and dear friend of mine. I can’t imagine being here and enjoying myself like I do without her. There’s so many more, and I love all of them. 

Pick a quote to end your interview with: 

“What critics call dirty in our pictures, they call lusty in foreign films.” - Billy Wilder

BONUS ROUND: K-POP CONFIDENTIAL

[atamascolily]

lily reads “Aftermath: Life Debt” by Chuck Wendig

This was one of the first nu-canon novels to come out in 2016, meant to fill the gap between Return of the Jedi and The Force Awakens. So far, all of the nu-canon stuff has been readable (unlike, say, some of Legends’ more memorable failures) but I was pleasantly surprised to find that Wendig’s writing is the most exciting and engaging I have encountered to date.

The problem is, of course, that he keeps using it to accomplish things I disagree with, but I am sure he did the best he could within the constraints Disney gave him and I don’t take it personally.

Anyway, I had to skip the first Aftermath book because it’s AWOL from the library right now, but fortunately, Wendig is pretty good about explaining How We Got Here without huge infodumps, so I got oriented pretty fast.

This book is written in present tense, which also surprised me. Even though I have read several pro-published novels that use present tense, I’m still not used to seeing it outside of fanfic, and it feels delightfully novel. I like present tense because it encourages concrete verbs, as well as a sense of immediacy and groundedness in the action (which is one reason I use it in fics). Present tense forces me to be a better writer precisely because it doesn’t come naturally. But I also enjoy it as a reader. 

Life Debt is set immediately post-Battle of Endor in 5 ABY. Leia is a few months pregnant. Luke is name-dropped a few times, but never appears. (Sigh.) Han is upset that the New Republic is dragging its feet on liberating Kashyyyk and he and Chewie decide to take matters into their own hands. When things go wrong, Leia asks Wendig’s OC Nora Wexley and her crew to bring him back.

Nora Wexley was one of the Y-wing pilots at the Battle of Endor. Now she roams the galaxy hunting Imperials for New Republic bounty, with a motley assortment of beings. There’s Sinjir, ex-Imperial and gay; Jas Emari, a Zabrak bounty hunter; and Jom Barell, who didn’t have any defining personality traits that stuck in my mind outside of his on-again, off-again friends-with-benefits with Jas;. There’s also her teenage son Temmin “Snap” Wexley and the refurbished battle droid he built as a personal bodyguard, Mr. Bones. Mr. Bones is an unrepentant murderbot and utterly delightful, especially when he tries to “blend in” by being more human.

More backstory: Nora joined the Rebellion after her husband Brentin was imprisoned by the Empire and presumed dead. Nora and Wedge have a thing as well. Mon Mothma is chancellor of the New Republic, and Leia is... I’m not sure what her official title is.

Meanwhile, on Team Empire, there’s Grand Admiral Rae Sloane, ostensibly in charge of a large slice of the Imperial Remnant, but who is being manipulated--to her deep resentment--by a man named Gallius Rax with ties to both Palpatine and Jakku. Sloane tortured Wedge in the previous book and Nora is frustrated she didn’t kill the Grand Admiral when she had the chance.

There’s also a hilarious sequence where the guy running Coruscant tries to surrender and Mon Mothma and Leia refuse because he doesn’t have anything they especially want.

In addition to the main plot, there are also short chapters titled “Interludes” showing various doings in the wider galaxy. I think a lot of these are supposed to be tie-ins for other material because they mostly don’t have any relevance to the current storyline. There’s one about a Vader-inspired death cult on Corellia, a pirate queen named Eleodie, Alderaanians mining asteroids from their former homeland and arguing about politics, Twi’leks freeing Ryloth, Malakili the ex-rancor-keeper gets a new job training a baby Hutt (?? - would have liked to hear more about that one!). I like the one about Maz Kanata’s castle, even though it still makes NO SENSE in terms of world-building.

I like Sinjir’s relationship with his slicer boyfriend, and I like that from his perspective, it’s not that the Empire particularly cares about homosexuality per se, (as long as you’re discreet about it), but the Empire uses relationships to manipulate and control people, so being open about them is a form of weakness. Just brings home the point that the Empire is a piece of shit (which is why it’s so hard for me to care about Rae Sloane or any of the scheming on Team Empire).

I don’t think I like Sinjir as a person, mind you, but he is certainly interesting, and he has no illusions that he’s a good guy, even though he’s now working against the Empire.

Also, there’s a bounty hunter named Mercurial Swift, which is the most metal name ever, and cameos from Brendol Hux, who ran some sort of boarding school, and whose bastard son is name-dropped occasionally.

No one will be surprised that my favorite scene is Leia meditating next to a sanctuary tree sapling on Chandrila she grew from a seed that Wicket gave her, and she touches the Force for the first time, and realizes that her child is a boy. Nice.

Anyway, Nora and her team find Solo--Chewbacca is a prisoner on Kashyyk when their rebellion attempt failed--and they sneak into a prison called Ashmead’s Lock on Kashyyyk, which happens to be where Nora’s husband Brentin has been this whole time! The prisoners have been stuck in stasis pods and mined for energy in a Matrix-like scenario that really should have been explored more, but they bust out, with Nora taking the prisoners home and Han and Chewie continuing to lead the rebellion.

Time skip! Brentin is distant and has PTSD, Snap is angry and acting out, Nora feels guilty because she’s attracted to Wedge and she isn’t able to connect with her husband anymore. Wedge is, of course, heartbroken.

Sloane comes to Chandrila for peace talks, and Leia leaves to go after Han on Kashyyk when Mon Mothma refuses to back her up. She ends up getting Wedge to come with her for back-up, and her pilot is Evaan Verlaine from the comics (nice to see you Evaan!)

Meanwhile, the Empire continues to be a piece of shit on Kashyyyk, and it’s way more graphic than I expected this book to go. They get what’s coming to them eventually, when Han and his team disable the chips that are keeping all the Wookiees prisoner. 

The peace talks turn out to be a trap engineered by Gallius Rax--all of the prisoners from Kashyyyk are brainwashed to start murdering people at the big ceremony and Mon Mothma narrowly avoids assassination at Brentin’s hands thanks to Nora’s quick reflexes. Sloane escapes, is super-pissed about being manipulated yet again by Rax, and she and Brentin (who also wants revenge) go to Jakku to follow up on a lead about Rax’s past.

Han ends up stealing a Star Destroyer, and Leia saves the day, and they finally kiss and make up and it’s lovely. Han leaves Chewie behind on Kashyyyk to be with Leia. Norra and her remaining team members go after Sloane.

But the biggest disappointment, of course, is the New Republic’s inability to liberate Kashyyyk, which I think epitomizes the difference between Disney’s version of Star Wars and Legends for me. In Legends, it was never a question that our heroes would liberate Kashyyyk; that was important and the entire point of the Rebellion. Even though it happened more or less off-screen, it was mentioned and cited as proof of the New Republic’s victory and triumph. So to see Mon Mothma and Ackbar trying to dissuade Leia from this is just... wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. Like I said, I think Wendig’s hands were tied on this one, but it just... lands wrong. It will never not feel wrong. Is it grittier and more “realistic” this way? Maybe, but what is the point?

Overall,  this is an action-packed adventure, with lots of good moments and funny bits that feel very much “Star Wars” to me. The interludes range from fan service-y to “hey, that’s neat, tell me more!” to  “wow, is there going to be a payoff for this years down the line?” In general, I find Disney Star Wars depressing as hell, but despite the downers I enjoyed this book much more than I expected. Like I said at the beginning, this is probably the best nu!canon thing I’ve read to date outside of the Shattered Empire comics. 

I came to like most of Wendig’s OCs, even though I’d really rather read about characters I already know--like, say, Luke! Imagine that!

(I don’t know why Disney thinks we’re not interested in what Luke’s doing, but tbh they write him so poorly when they bother that I’m not really sure I want them to.)