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urinarythreatinfection · 9 months ago

Text

This took long because I was writing it and got into it and was like "oh damn this writing is kinda fire" but then it was too fire and I had to edit everything else to work. Also forgot to respond to the ask itself so i put a picture.

Roots of Suffering

Zoro x Female!Reader. Tw: Migraines, Angst with happy ending, violence, some gore and body horror (i think thats what its called) 5371 words.

You and Zoro sit next to each other in the crow’s nest, him meditating while you read. There’s no need for you two to speak to feel connected, simply spending time together like this is more than enough. It’s only when you finish another chapter that you realize you’ve been reading for hours, even before Zoro’s began meditating. You’re thirsty, he must be too, when you had first started reading he was training. This works out, you had begun to lose focus anyway, maybe you’d just been reading for too long. ‘I’ll get us both some water’ You think to yourself as you move to get up, freezing when you feel a familiar pressure in the side of your head. You must've been too focused on the book to pay attention. This is unfortunate, you didn’t have time to mentally prepare yourself this time, dread weighing you down. In one last action of hope you put your hand there, maybe it’s just a bug bite or the flesh there fell asleep; but you’re met with nothing. Nothing you can do now except brace yourself with what little time you have. You look back towards your boyfriend, meditating, he’s more focused than usual. You’ll just quickly make your way to Chopper and-

STAB

Your eye pricks and throbs in pain, as if a shard of glass made its way behind it. Before you can try and take another step you feel an arm pull you back. “Sit. You’ll just make it worse.” A quiet voice, Zoro. He sets you down onto the ground and stands up, turning off the lights and shutting the curtains before going back to you. It helps, but your head hurts, and it’s only getting worse. Everything is getting smaller and your brain is growing. You haven’t had one in a while, why now? Why couldn’t it be when you were near Chopper or when Zoro wasn’t so focused. You ruined it, you’re a burden, that thought embeds into your brain like the roots of suffering that grow to press against your shrinking skull. Seeping the poison of negativity as it worms through your head. Again and again, this parasitic plant fishes in the back of your eye, trying to force its way out. It's useless, you weren’t careful enough and now you’re paying the price. A warm hand goes to the side of your neck “Breathe.” A deep voice tells you, only realizing then that you were struggling. At this rate you’ll only end up making things worse. Despite the throbbing pressure in your skull you manage to force yourself to breathe, counting seconds in your head to assist you. “I’m going to Chopper.” Zoro whispers, trying to keep his words to a minimum. You want him to stay, but this is for the best. These can last longer than you would be able to handle even with Zoro’s comfort. Keeping his footsteps quiet, he goes to the door. You cover your eyes to avoid the sunlight, only opening them again when it closes. You’re alone now, you have to keep yourself stable until he’s back. One hand on your chest, another on your stomach as you close your eyes.

Breathe in

1..2..3..4

Hold

1..2..3..4

Breathe out

1..2..3..4

Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. It’s okay, you’ve been through these before, it will pass just as the others have. Repeat, the door opens, repeat, two sets of footsteps make their way to you. Your breathing is a cycle the same your suffering is, your pain and your attempts to manage it circling around each other as you fight to keep sane. Chopper does not speak, he doesn’t need to, you know how this will go. He gently rubs where he’ll put the compress, then puts it to your skin. It’s cold, but you stay calm, relax your muscles even if you want to tense instinctively. Zoro sits at your other side, his presence a comfort. He’s unsure if he could touch you, but you reach out and grab his hand. You don’t need the hands on your body anymore, especially as the pain numbs slightly with Chopper’s care. Once the reindeer seems satisfied that you’re calm he pulls out a triptan. Nasal spray, good since you don’t need to swallow anything nor feel any injection that could cause stress, lord knows you don’t need more of that. He taps your arm to signify that he’s going to use it and you relax as much as you can. The nozzle goes into your nose and you breathe in gently. It’s done, this is all that he can do right now. He puts the medicine away and strokes your arm, trying to comfort you. Everything is on you now, you just have to endure until it sets in. You’re safe, you have your boyfriend on one side and a caring friend on your other. The minutes pass and the pain dulls, you take a deep breath.

“I’m sorry.” Is the first thing you say.

“It’s fine.” Zoro responds. Two words but the tone of his voice, the fact that he’s still keeping his voice soft, reassures you. You wish you didn’t have to deal with this, but you don’t have that ability. The privilege of having people that care is enough for you, it’s enough. Chopper is patient as he stays with you, making sure to check your pulse every so often; he even brought a bag just in case you throw up. Zoro goes back to meditating, but half of his focus is on you, one of his hands still holding yours. The hours pass, Sanji comes in quietly with some food. He doesn’t argue with Zoro, nor does he fawn over you, he sets the plates down for all 3 of you so you can eat; then leaves. Like before, it passes. The food helped, even if you felt nauseous your body still needed it, Sanji’s a good cook. You take a deep breath and let out a sigh of relief, about to apologize again when Zoro squeezes your hand.

“Don’t.” He states and you sigh again, keeping your mouth shut.

“I’m gonna put the lights to dim so you can get used to it again, is that okay?” Chopper asks as he gets up.

“..Yeah.” You hesitate slightly but you aren’t new to this, you can handle it. Franky installed lighting options for this, Chopper turns the lights on to a nice dimness while you close your eyes. You slowly open them, getting used to it. The painful part has passed and you stand up and peek outside. It’s night, you’ve kept them both inside all day. “I’m sorry Chopper, you must’ve wanted to do other things.” Zoro could handle being still, he at least used the time to meditate, though less efficiently; but Chopper usually liked to play during the day and he couldn’t do anything productive in the dark. The reindeer shakes his head.

“Mm, it’s okay. Making sure the crew is healthy is part of my role as doctor.” He smiles. “Making sure you’re okay makes me happier than playing.” An angel, Chopper must be an angel sent from above to care for pitiful beings of the Earth.

“Thank you, I always feel a lot better when you’re helping me.” You pat his head and he sheepishly giggles. Seeing him like this cheers you up, especially when you’re starting to feel bummed out. An arm wraps around your waist and Zoro picks you up. “I can walk by myself.”

“I know.” He yawns and holds you close, bridal style. You look to Chopper for help in convincing him but the reindeer just seems happy that you’re well enough to be stubborn.

“I’ll bring water over to your room.” With that the doctor runs off, leaving you in Zoro’s arms.

“Let me down Zoro, I’m not a baby that needs help walking.” You start to argue but Zoro just hums and walks out of the crow’s nest, heading to the women’s room. “Don’t open it yet, knock.”

“I know, I know.” He grumbles, holding you in one arm easily and knocking with the other. The door opens to Robin, Nami sleeping in the background. She notices your state and smiles warmly. She’s considerate though, refraining from chuckling at your state and instead stepping to the side so Zoro can come in.

“Are you sure he can come in?” You ask, looking at the sleeping navigator.

“She won’t mind if he simply comes in for a moment. Unless you’d like him to stay here?” Robin asks and Zoro perks up at being able to watch over you.

“No, it’s alright.” You shut it down immediately and he puts you down on your bed, displeased. “I don’t want to wake Nami to ask her, Zoro.”

“So what, she could just go back to sleep after.” He huffs and you sigh.

“If you’re feeling unwell during the night you can wake me, I can go retrieve him for you.” Robin suggests, once again a crewmate is making a sacrifice for you.

“I…” You look at the both of them, you’d like to argue but if you don’t agree it’ll only worry them more; so you nod. They seem pleased with that and Robin goes back to her own bed.

“Rest easy, Zoro.” The archaeologist tells him.

“I’ll leave it to you, then.” He trusts Robin, she’s alert, so he’s satisfied with that; even if he’d rather you let him stay here. You watch as the swordsman leaves, sighing. It feels so helpless, you train to get stronger and stronger yet you’re still so weak the moment your migraines come. It’s like you haven’t gotten stronger at all, stuck at the bottom due to something you can’t control, having to rely on crewmates to be able to function. You almost wish they would be harsher to you, maybe it would toughen you up; though you know it doesn’t work that way. A hand blooms on your shoulder and caresses the side of your defective head before covering your eyes.

“Sleep.” Robin says from her bed and you decide to listen, what other choice do you have? It’s not like you could stay up without only worsening your condition and causing even more burden on everyone. Your eyes close, the exhaustion from everything crashing down on you.

_____________

It’s not too surprising you’re in a bad mood. You’ve been stubborn from the start, the irritation coming from migraines only worsening it. Another cycle, you survive what comes to torment you. only for the aftereffects to still haunt you. Now you sit on the deck, sunglasses protecting your eyes. You tried to stay inside but couldn’t handle being alone with your thoughts. Luffy catches a ball, almost bumping into you. “Woah, got it.” He looks back at you, making sure he didn’t accidentally kick you, then goes back to playing ball with Franky using a machine that shoots the ball out. Irritation, anger, it festers in your heart and wants you to yell at Luffy to apologize.

'Control yourself, he didn’t even hit you.’ You tell your mind as you clench your jaw. You came outside to be with people, not to lash out at them. Control, you are not your condition, you are a person capable of making choices that are not a result of pain out of your control. Control, take the reins of what you can, that’s the only thing you can do. Keep yourself stable, lessen the burden on people around you, there’s no use in fighting a battle you can’t win. A battle where you can only lose. A fight that will never end.

Breathe in

1..2..3..4

Hold

1..2..3..4

Breathe out

1..2..3..4

Repeat, just as you always have. Again, and again, the cycle of stress, pain, and torment. It’s okay, you’re yourself, you have to be, even if it piles up. Days pass. Ignore the tendrils pressing their way through the wrinkles of your brain and down your neck, the pressure behind your eye, in your skull. This is your normal.

“Marines!” You hear Usopp yell out, your eyes snapping open in the middle of another breathing session you had been working on in preparation for another coming migraine. You stand, this is fine.

“Ah! Wait!” Chopper goes to you. “You’re-”

“It’s fine, I’m in prodrome, I can deal with this much.” Before the doctor can protest you’re already gone, having jumped to one of the marine ships to fight. It’s loud, but not unbearable, especially with the safety of your crew in mind. It’s working, you can deal with this as normal. You are in contro-

BANG

A gun is shot, and you dodge the bullet, but that isn’t what is hurting you. Sound. Your breath falters, your ears are ringing. It was shot at close range. Your stomach lurches, poison in your mind affecting your body as you break into a cold sweat. No, no no. This isn’t how this was supposed to go, you’re in control. You grab the marine by the head and slam it into the railing of the ship, killing him. It’s okay, you can still fight, it’s okay. You’ll breathe, you can breathe. Even when you feel pain in your head, migraine advanced by the gunshot, you can breathe.

Breathe in

1..2..3..4

10 marines down, you’ll sink the ship to take care of the rest. Then you can go back to the Sunny and rest.

Hold

1..2..3..4

Breathe out

1..2..3..4

You run down into the ship, you may not be able to take down a ship with a single slice but that doesn’t matter. Once you’re deep enough you can do enough damage to sink it. Raising your weapon up you swing down, splitting down the ship until water begins to flow from below. Done, you run out onto the deck and pain throbs, slowing you down. You have a few minutes before it completely sinks, it’s okay.

Breathe in

1..2..3..4

Hold

1..2..3..4

Breathe out

…

...?

Something is blocking your throat. You look down, seeing a blade protruding from your chest, then ripped out by the marine behind you. Blood pours out from your body into your lungs up your esophagus, red staining your lips as you cough red. You can’t breathe. Stepping forward, drowning, you struggle. Funny, blood, yet another lifeforce meant to keep you alive, is killing you. Pain in life, and pain in death, your body destroys itself. Ah.. the spot of green you see barely registers in your mind. Everything is dark.

__________

Zoro stares down at you, time stopped at the sight of your unconscious body. “No nononono.” He picks you up and you cough out blood, panic fills him. ‘She can’t die, she can’t.’ He turns you on your side, but blood is filling your lungs too fast for it to help. He realizes the ship is sinking and turns to the Sunny, he failed you, he can’t save you as a swordsman like this. Desperate legs propel him back to the Sunny. The battle had already been won, if only he got there a bit sooner, noticed quicker that you had gone despite your migraine signs.

Luffy is the first to notice, his haki alerting him. It makes his own blood run cold and he turns to the rest. “(Y/n)’s hurt!” He yells, then runs inside the ship to get Chopper, who’d been grabbing medicine for your migraine. Robin acts, a mouth blooming in the reindeer’s medical room.

“(Y/n)’s been injured.” She alerts him right as Zoro lands on the deck of the Sunny. “Luffy is coming to you, grab what you need for-” She looks to you and notices the wound, biting down on the inside of her cheek to stay calm. “stab wound, punctured the lung and through the other side of her body.” Zoro sets you down, using his bandana to try to apply pressure onto your wound. Meanwhile Chopper grabs everything he needs before Luffy bursts into the room and grabs him to run back to you. Chopper is set on the ground and immediately gets to work, ignoring the panic in his mind that his friend is dying in front of him. Zoro moves back, staring at you, then down at his bloody hands and bandana. He couldn’t do anything, he wasn’t there. If only he were there, he could’ve saved you from this. When he joined this ship he told himself he was a protector that would keep everyone alive, safe, that he would be there to stop even death itself. He looks to you, tube in your wound and Chopper taking blood from your throat so you can breathe. You’re pale, just as Kuina was in her casket, dead because he wasn’t there; because she was alone just as you were. Once you can be moved he helps you to Chopper’s clinic, the door shut in front of him so that the doctor can focus completely.

___________

It hurts. Is this the afterlife? You knew that you weren’t the best person in the world but to think even the afterlife would be painful, this is hell. Maybe you should just relax … that feels better. The pain is fading now, along with the memories of everyone. Your crewmates, and your boyfriend.

‘Zoro…’ That spot of green you saw must’ve been him. He must’ve seen you in such a bad state, you died in front of him. Even if he showed it in a different way, you know he loves you. He’d be heartbroken if you died, the others would too. You start to feel pain in your body again, it’s horrible, but you need to get up. This is not how you will die.

Bright, your eyes struggle to adjust as you look around and spot blue and pink. It jolts and starts to run around, your chest hurts. It makes you flinch and the figure stops. Syllables turn to words as you come to.

“(y/n).... (Y/n)..!” Your vision focuses as Chopper whisper-yells. You look at him and his eyes widen, then start to glisten as he bursts into tears. “Y-You’re awake!” He trembles, sobbing. “You’re awake, you’re alive!” Realizing his volume, he covers his mouth. “s-sorry..” You should comfort him.

“..iT’s o..ay..” Your voice is raspy and strained, not very reassuring. You try to get up but little hooves stop you.

“Stop, don’t move, or speak.” He’s still nervous, checking that your movement didn’t damage any stitches and bloody the bandages around your chest. “Just don’t do anything. You didn’t listen to me before and now you’re l-like this.” He starts to cry again. “So y-you better listen this time..! Hic..” His hooves go to his eyes to wipe away tears, the stress he’s been holding in to focus on you finally coming out. You relax your body, letting yourself lay back but moving your hand just a bit to pat Chopper’s head.

“mkAy..” Your voice cracks, and you stay silent now as the little reindeer cries. Once he’s done he sniffles and starts to speak after giving you a glass of water, saying that you’ve been asleep for a week. The only reason you survived is from Chopper’s insight to have everyone on the ship give blood for emergencies, so he had your blood bags.

“If I didn’t have them…” He trails off and you smile at him, you can’t speak yet but you can still show you’re alive. Your reassurance works this time and he calms down. “Oh!” He remembers something. “Now that you’re awake, I’ll go get Zoro.” He checks up on your vitals quickly, then goes to the door and opens it. “You can come in now, ah! No, not everyone. Turns! She just woke up!” Chopper changes into Muscle Point, pushing so that everyone comes in pairs. You expect to see Zoro first, but he isn’t there. Instead it’s Luffy and Sanji. The cook, expectedly, bows at the bed and begins apologizing for ever allowing a woman to get hurt so badly. Luffy stays silent during this, instead choosing to just be close to you. He stares at your bandaged chest.

“You’re okay.” The captain states, and you nod. Maybe you aren’t completely fine but you’re alive. “When you’re better we can eat and joke together again, okay?” Luffy trusts Chopper, he knows you’ll be alright with his care. Still.. “Listen next time.” seeing you with blood running down your face and pouring from your chest, it doesn’t feel good. “I have to, and I’m the captain, so you definitely have to.” With that he gives you a big smile, you give him one back and Luffy leaves. Sanji, calmer now, stands.

“Marimo’s not eating, I know he doesn’t deserve it but if you could, get him to eat.” He falters when you stare at him. “Just because it’s a huge hassle to have to cook only for him not to eat it, I couldn’t care less otherwise.” He quickly makes his leave after, but not before fawning over you on the way out. Nami and Usopp are next, Nami.. looks kinda rough. Her eyes are red, she’s been crying. She stomps over to your bed and bites her top lip, very clearly ready to scold you.

“Y-You’re an idiot, I hope you know that.” Her voice is shaky. “I can’t believe you would do something so stupid, as if you were invincible.” Her orange eyes start to well up with tears and she turns around to hide it. Usopp reaches a hand to comfort her but she slaps it away, he decides to leave it but she grabs his hand and puts it on her shoulder, changing her mind.

“I don’t know what you were thinking 100% but I get wanting to… be brave.” He mumbles “Still, what you did was insane.” To be honest he doesn’t really know what to say. Usopp’s done some pretty stupid stuff sometimes, and failed, so he’d feel really hypocritical just telling you boldly never to do that again. “People get worried about you, really worried.” Nami nods, still conflicted between wanting to scold you until she’s satisfied and wanting to cry that you’re alive while hugging you. You pat the bed next to you, trying to get her attention. She looks back and you smile at her, nodding. It makes her tremble and she walks over to you.

“I’m sending you a bill of all the ointments and tissues I’ve used crying because of you.” Nami wipes her eyes. “But, I’m glad you’re okay.” Her hand goes to yours, holding it for a moment before she turns and leaves. Usopp stands there for a moment, then leaves too. You notice his eyes are a little swollen as well before he’s gone. Robin and Brook come in next, they both look calm compared to the others. Brook’s eyes land on you and you start to hear rattling. Oh, he’s shaking.

“(Y/n)-san I'm so glad you’re alive, yohohoho!!” Tears stream from his eyes as he runs to you, held back by Robin by the back of his suit jacket.

“We’re all glad you’re alive.” She walks over to you calmly. “It was gruesome seeing blood fill your lungs and out of your mouth like a sad hose, but it’s fortunate knowing you didn’t have to die such a painful death.” You aren’t sure if you should be happy she seems normal or not, considering her words; but at least she isn’t sobbing. Robin, on the other hand, doesn’t mind disturbing you as long as it scares you enough you don’t do this again. They don’t stay for too long though, they want you to rest; Brook does promise to play you something soft once you recover more though.

“WAHHH (Y/N)-” Franky cries loudly as he walks in but is quickly shushed by Jinbe with a pat on the shoulder. Your friends are quite emotional. “R-Right, sorry.” Your ears hurt for a moment but it’s okay. You don’t even feel a migraine at the moment, they really don’t need to be so quiet. Everyone must be still on edge and trying to be safe rather than sorry, a migraine during early recovery would be miserable. “I made this for you, I know you’re still against becoming a cyborg so this isn’t anything that’s implanted.” He hands you something, a pair of headphones. “I’d been working on them for a while, but I…” He tears up again and falls to the ground dramatically. “You seemed to be doing okay so I put it off. I’m sorry.” You flip the headphones around in your hands while Jinbe stares at you. It’s… kind of intense.

“I’m not going to ask you to apologize or repent for your choice, you’ve faced the consequences without such a thing, but I hope this experience teaches you that rash decisions made alone result in nothing but pain.” The fishman states, stabbing you right in the conscience. Franky looks up, wiping his eyes. He doesn’t disagree, in fact he nods and stands.

“I already changed the lighting in the ship for you, everyone cares about you. If you’re struggling then ask for help, nothing super about going in alone with no reason to.” He shakes his head. “No, you were stupid.” You’re getting scolded more by the both of them than anyone else at this point. “The headphones will help, you don’t have to use them all the time but promise me you will use them. I’ve made them to muffle loud noises while letting you hear people talk. So you better listen, got it?” Franky’s serious, and you nod. “Super, now get rest and convince Zoro to stop acting like he’s a cyborg.” He’s bothered, and Jinbe nods. Before they both leave Jinbe gives you one last look, worry and disappointment, but trust that you’ll do better from now on. A few moments pass before Chopper is back inside, he looks to the doorway with a smile.

“Come in.” Silence, Chopper makes an angry face. “Come in!” Finally, a familiar swordsman walks inside, though he looks tired. The doctor seems satisfied now and hops a little. “I’ll be outside, you two talk! I got you this.” He runs over to you and hands you a notebook and marker, then runs outside. “No arguing.” Zoro’s silent. “Zoro’s been getting tired more easily because he doesn’t eat, too!” At this your boyfriend reacts, turning.

“You didn’t need to say that!” He barks but Chopper stands his ground, giving Zoro eyes as he leaves the room. “Cuter when he isn’t nagging about my health.”

“He’s worried about you.” You write and show him, but Zoro just scoffs.

“I’m not the one who needs to be worried about, missing some meals isn't going to kill me.” You notice him clenching his fist, wishing you could properly speak, but you aren’t confident you’d be able to keep quiet if you start speaking. “Are you.. really so bad you can’t speak?” You’re snapped out of your thoughts by Zoro’s voice, he sounds dejected. When you look at him there's a hurt expression on his face.

“I can speak a little, I just can’t be loud.” He reads this and seems slightly relieved.

“Don’t trust yourself not to yell at me, I get it.” Your boyfriend starts but instead of letting you write he continues. “I messed up, so focused on some small fries that I let you get hurt. I can’t even yell at you for being stupid because I’m the one who should’ve been paying attention.” He isn’t letting you respond. “Fuck I’m such a shit boyfriend, keep trying to protect everyone on the crew but almost letting my girlfriend die because I was too cocky. I keep messing up over and over and I can’t even do anything for you. I can’t treat you or play you music or even cook something comforting like curly brow. All I have is protecting you and I didn’t even do that-”

“Zoro!” You yell, then clutch at your chest as your lung throbs. He stops talking and crouches down to check your chest.

“Dammit, you just told me you couldn’t yell, are you trying to hurt yourself more!?” He gently feels the bandages around your chest. “I’ll go get Chopper-” Before he can leave you grab his wrist. “What are you doing?”

“Don’t need.. Chopper. Need you.” He scowls like he got bit from your words.

“You need someone who can care for you.” Your lover mumbles, looking away in shame. You tug on his wrist and he looks back at you, vulnerable, taking your sign to walk closer and sit on the edge of the bed. “I didn’t do that, I didn’t do anything. Not when you were stabbed and not when you were dying in front of my eyes. Even when you were in this room I couldn’t help Chopper, I don’t have that much medical knowledge. All I could do was watch as my girlfriend was dying in front of me, hoping that whatever happened that you would at least be alive.” He can’t meet your eyes, not like this. The hand on his wrist trails up his arm, he hates it all. He hates how dead you looked, how unhealthy you look now, and he hates himself for letting this happen.

“Zoro.” Your strained voice speaks and you move your hand to his cheek, gently moving his head to look at you. “It’s not your fault, and I’m not dead.” He presses his lips together and puts his hand on yours, kissing your palm as his thumb goes to check your pulse. It’s weaker than he wants, it hurts his heart, but at least yours is beating. He gives your palm another kiss, then your pulse point, up your arm until his are ever so gently holding you close to him. Like you’ll shatter with even the slightest pressure. He doesn’t speak, neither of you do, even when you feel wetness on your shoulder. You just wrap your arms around him as well, just as gently while your hand rubs his back soothingly.

“I love you.” He finally says after a few minutes pass, he doesn’t say it very often. When he saw you drowning in your own blood it was one of the things he regretted.

“I love you too.” You press a kiss to his head. He won’t let this happen again, he’ll protect you, physically, emotionally, anything.

____________

“Ah- Wait!” Zoro pulls you into his lap, placing the food in front of you. “You don’t need to do all of this, Chopper said I'm healed enough to eat on my own. I didn’t even need it to begin with.” He puts the chopsticks to your mouth.

“Eat.” Your boyfriend states.

“I get worrying but why are you going this far.” You grumble, adamant you don’t need this.

“Because I love you, now eat.” You freeze, so does everyone else who heard. Zoro pauses for a moment, but doubles down. “Capable of feeding yourself but you can’t even eat with help.” The tips of his ears are a bit pink but he isn’t going to let that stop him from professing his love. You shift around.. okay it feels kind of nice being cared for, you open your mouth to eat what’s given. “There, not hard.” You’re a bit embarrassed from all of this but Zoro glares at anyone who dares laugh or smile. This is not a joke, this is real and he’s doing perfectly normal boyfriend things.

“Wow Zoro is kinda different no-” Nami slaps a hand over Luffy’s mouth, ignoring how he protests. It doesn’t matter, he’ll keep saying it until they get used to it, until you get used to it too. Everyone cares about you, so they’ll drill it into your head like antivenom until you stop thinking you’re a burden. Migraine be damned.

All done. I couldn't fit this but the reason Franky seemed peeved at Zoro is because he tried to tell Zoro to eat and Zoro said "So what? You eat less than me, I can handle this much." as if Franky only didnt eat as much because most of him is cola-powered. Also hope migraine havers are forgiving bc I don't actually have these I just kinda did some research and wrote how I might feel if i had them. guyth if you like it feel free to comment btw

#one piece #anime only #one piece x reader #one shot #zoro x reader #zoro x female reader #angst #angst/comfort #fluff #I may be rather partial to violence

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wontmindd · 1 year ago

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Oh my gosh! You should make an Adam x reader playlist on like what you think the vibes and aesthetic of the relationship would be like!!

BEING IN LOVE WITH ADAM | A PLAYLIST

"but it's not forever, it's just tonight. oh, we're still the greatest"

Sex on Fire by Kings of Leon fits Adam's rock vibe, first of all. I see him performing it at his shows, and thinking about Reader in the process, it's just passionate in every way possible.

"just to cure it 'cause I can't ignore it if it's love"

Adam is definitely bad at feelings. Has a hard time understanding when he's in love, and when he does it really feels "accidental". Also, Adam gives romantic 2000s rock love songs vibes.

"honey, we can see right through you. girl, you can't conceal it. we know how you feel and who you're thinking of"

This all time classic goes for Reader, who I can picture struggling to accept that they're falling in love with Adam (I mean, it's Adam). But they're having it bad, so they come to terms with it (but won't say it).

"where can I find a woman like that?"

Watch Adam writing a whole-ass song if he ever were to fall in love with Reader and they're taken. Performing it a show and looking at them in the eyes and everything. He can't help it, he wants them to be his.

"some things just make sense and one of those is you and I"

Still into You just fits the vibe, just over the top love rock song that would go well with a possible Adam love story perfectly imho. Maybe after a break up.

"oh I, I just died in your arms tonight, it must have been something you said"

Would comedically work as either Adam or Reader suddenly realize that they're in love in a very specific moment. Reader being vulgar or violent? This song starts playing as Adam goes all wide-eyed looking at them as his cheeks get red. Adam playing the electric guitar? Reader goes full Lego Batman GIF looking at him.

"Don't go breaking my heart"

"I won't go breaking your heart!"

Throw this song in Hazbin Hotel as a duet between Adam and Reader where they profess their love for each other as soon as they realize it.

"(s)he ain't got no money, her/his clothes are kinda funny, her/his hair is kinda wild and free"

I see this more applied to Adam. Because people will ask Reader WHY Adam, and he's just that guy. Can work the other way around if Reader is particularly unique.

"one good girl is worth a thousand bitches"

Adam, in my opinion, is capable of serious relationships even if he's kinda hinted to be a fuck boy. He definitely has many flaws in relationships but he would be willing to work on them. Also, I headcanon him to listen to Kanye even if he's a rockstar lmao.

"the soul you bring to the table, the one that makes me sing in a minor key"

I'll finish this on a tender note. Adam and Reader come full circle about how much they love each other, they accept it, they know. And love changes both of them, both their souls. It can be that deep, even if it's Adam we're talking about. Reader makes his soul sing, and Adam theirs.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel adam #vivziepop #adam #adam hazbin hotel #adam x reader #playlist #adam playlist #hazbin hotel adam headcanons #hazbin hotel headcanons #hazbin hotel fanfiction #hazbin hotel adam fanfiction #hazbin hotel adam playlist #adam x you #hazbin adam x reader #writers on tumblr

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lennadanvers · 8 months ago

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Seven Minutes in Hell

Uni Student!Eddie x Asexual!Reader

A/N: One day left of the Ace Week and I finally finished this (kinda sorta, in the way that I can't and I won't keep adding to it, or editing it or rewriting it). I'm completely burned out, my back hurts and I lowkey hate how this turned out- there's so much dialogue and I read it so many times I just think it's bad now. However, since I put so much effort into it, and since I want Eddie to be with an ace reader, I'm posting it anyway. Please be nice, because I've been in a crisis for over a week and I will cry if you're mean. Also, this is terribly long compared with my usual works. Idk.

NOTE: The Reader is asexual. No, there is no use of the word "asexual" here, because it's not needed for a character to be ace. No, the Reader doesn't explain/teach to others what it means to be ace- they just voice their boundaries. Asexual is someone who feels little to no sexual attraction (and you can use it either as an umbrella term or a micro label- please investigate more if you feel like it! It's a very interesting topic and you can learn a lot!). Being asexual doesn't equal to being aromantic: an asexual can still feel romantic attraction. Also, asexuality looks different for everybody- some aces may be okay with kissing but not sex, for example. This Reader isn't okay with either. I hope you enjoy the fic! Happy Ace Week!!

Okay, this was a very bad idea and you should have realized sooner.

In your defense, life this far from your hometown is… different. Lonely. In Hawkins, everyone knew everyone. You had a safety net all the time. Maybe you weren’t friends with everybody- but you were friendly with most, at least.

Here, on the other hand, you are alone. Big city, small-town girl… a sad combination. You’re barely learning how to survive. None of the skills you had acquired at home are useful here. For God’s sake, you can’t even bike to the store- you have to take the subway.

One good thing about the city, though, is the variety. When you first came here, the thing that seemed the most exiting was how open people were about themselves.

They’re just not that friendly, though. No in a deeper level, at least. They are, however, very active. Lots of parties, concerts, bars and nights out. The girls in your dorm are unable to sleep during the night, apparently.

And if you want to fit in with them, you have to at least attend a party once in a while.

That’s what brought you here. You start to question if it’s worth it, though, when Lindsay- redhead, loud, flirty Lindsay- grabs you by the waist and starts dragging you across the room. She’s nice, but she’s… different. She goes out with a different boy every Friday, and brings another one to her dorm room every Saturday. It’s really not your business, and it seems to make her happy, so you simply steer away from her business.

It's not that it bothers you. You just don’t get it. Well, not in practice. In theory, it makes sense. But when you picture yourself in her place… It’s uncomfortable. Weird. Foreign. You’re happy she’s happy this way- it’s just not for you.

She doesn’t feel the same way.

You see the circle of people too late, take too long to come up with an excuse; and before you can stop her, she’s announced you’re playing Seven Minutes in Heaven.

You’ve never taken part in things like this. Never wanted to. Now everyone is looking at you, and you’re just too uncomfortable to run away, even if what you want the most is to disappear. Lindsay goes over the rules. You look around for a way out. Maybe a fire alarm will be waiting for you.

That’s when you see him. A curious pair of puppy eyes, a wild mane of hair and an unmistakable rockstar vibe.

Eddie Munson.

This has to be a nightmare. You remember him from Hawkins High- how could you not? He was always so loud an opinionated, so funny and charming, so… So different from everyone else. It was hard not to notice him in the hallways, but that wasn’t the reason you were always looking for him. See, he had- still has, now that you’re face to face again- something that draws you to him. Something in his smile, in the way he moves his hands, so confident, so in display, like the world is a stage and he’s the main character.

And you’ve always felt like the audience, an external observer, the witness to other people’s stories.

Until now, that Eddie Munson is in the same city- the same party, the same room, the same group of people- as you, far away from the hellhole that is Hawkins. Until now, that he’s staring at you, just as surprised, but a little less terrified. Until now, that Eddie looks like he’s expecting something from you. You’re sure your clueless expression is what makes him smile shily and look down at the floor, where an empty beer bottle points straight at you.

Dread washes over you as people start to cheer. Eddie chuckles and stands up. Lindsay grabs you by the arm- who knew that a girl this petite could be so strong? – and drags you to an empty closet.

Only when the door slams behind you, muffling out the music and noise from the party, you realize what happened.

You’re alone, in the dark, with Eddie Munson.

Trapped in a tiny space for the next eternity (seven minutes). And he’s cute, taller than you remember, and he smells nice. And he’s probably expecting something from you. Something like a kiss. Or more.

And you, for the love of God, do not want a kiss. You want him to be pretty and funny and at a safe distance from you.

The silence is overwhelming, his breathing too close for your liking. That’s the only excuse you can find for what you blurt out next.

“I absolutely do not wanna kiss you!”

The silence turns heavier. You press your hands against your mouth, but it’s too late. Maybe it’s a good thing it’s dark in the tiny closet, because at least he can’t see your horrified face. You hear a scoff and what sound like his feet shuffling to the side.

“Of course you don’t. You’re way too out of my reach, yeah? Were you hoping to be paired up with one of those pretty boys?”

His voice is harsh.

You had seen him argue with Jason Carver before. You had seen him mad, frustrated and mocking. None of those times did he sound quite like this. Never had such an edge. If the lights were on, you worry you’d see a sparkle of hurt in his eyes.

Maybe that’s why you start to explain yourself, panic taking over.

“No! No, that’s… That’s not what I meant at all! I just do not wanna kiss!”

Eddie’s laugh is sarcastic and dark.

“Yeah, I figured that much. Well, guess what? I didn’t wanna kiss you either!”

He sounds angrier now. It’s easy to picture him with his arms crossed.

“Really?”

When the only reply is silence, you know you should have shut the hell up. Or at least you could have tried to not sound so relieved. You cringe.

“Wait, that’s not what I meant either. I-”

“Listen, I have no intention of kissing someone who doesn’t want to kiss me. So why don’t we just wait in silence until the time is up?”

You remember his frown when the jocks made fun of him at gym class. Eddie looked miserable half of the time at school. Now he’s left school, moved away from Hawkins, and you’re making him miserable all over again. Even if you really don’t mean to.

The guilt makes you start whispering.

“Anyone. Ever. I don’t want to kiss anyone. Not now. Certainly not any of them. It’s just that Lindsay forced me to play! I didn’t even want to be here in the first place. Trust me, Eddie, if I wanted to be locked in a tiny closet with any guy at this party it would be you, but I don’t! I just really, really don’t want a kiss- I don’t want anyone to touch me, actually… I’m sorry- I bet you wanted to have fun here and I ended up ruining your chance. Listen, I’ll just walk out of here and tell them I feel sick or something, and they’ll have to give you another chance-”

Before you get the chance to embarrass yourself further, Eddie interrupts you.

“Hey, hey, wait a second there.”

You can feel his eyes on you. That’s the only thing that stops you from yapping to death. You wait, but he takes too long to speak.

“I’m sorry if you thought-”

“I never wanted to make you uncomfortable!”

He cuts your apology short yet again.

“I just thought… I recognized you. From Hawkins. Class of ’89, right? I remember you. I just…”

Eddie clears his throat. You take a deep breath because he sounds softer now. He starts talking again and it’s like listening to a cartoon character- fast and disorganized. Cute.

“I just… I thought you were kinda pretty- back then! You were always smiling, and you used to carry around some of my favorite books. I- it’s not like I like you, I… It’s-it’s been a long time, and… I saw you in here. And you look just as beautiful, you know? I’m never lucky like this. Then the bottle landed on you- I thought I had a chance, after all the years of pini- It’s okay, though, I understand! I bet you have better things to worry about, huh? I bet you’re busy publishing novels or something, right? I remember your poem, the one you read on the talent show- I really liked it!”

Somewhere between pretty and beautiful, Eddie started leaning against the wall. His shoulder is warm against yours. You really don’t mean to, but a giggle escapes you.

“Oh, and now it’s me who can’t shut up. I really should have learned by now. I always end up getting in trouble like this. Do you think I could finish all the oxygen here if I keep talking? I could die of suffocation. That would save me the embarrassment of having to see your face when your friend opens the door. Would you do me a favor and forget any of this happened? I really don’t want you to remember how much of a loser I am...”

You’re laughing now. Eddie’s head thumps against the wall next to you and you decide to stop him.

“I’m sorry, but there’s no way. I don’t think I can forget how you think I’m pretty and beautiful…”

Eddie is groaning, and probably shaking his head too- his hair tickles the side of your arm.

“Also, if you died of suffocation now you wouldn’t know that I thought you were pretty too. Back then, I mean. Oh, and you were never a loser. I always thought you were very smart- with all the ways you found to get back at Carver and his clique. Also, it’d be a shame to deprive the world of your music! I remember you at the talent show too.”

His voice sounds muffled. Is he hiding his face in his hands?

“Stop making fun of me!”

It’s not an accusation. It’s whinier and more playful. It helps you relax a little.

“Are you kidding? I’d never make fun of you! I’ve actually always liked you, Eddie.”

You’d swear his breath just hitched.

“Are you serious?”

Lucky you, the darkness won’t let him see the way you’re blushing. You shrug, trying to look nonchalant even if he doesn’t see you.

“Well, yeah.”

He’s quiet for a moment.

“Listen, I think we started with the wrong foot here. Why don’t we… Would you like to… I don’t know, maybe sometime we could-”

A beam of blinding light and awfully loud music interrupts him.

Oh, God.

“Time’s up, lovebirds! Ooh, look at you! Girl, you’re red as a cherry! What were you guys up to, all cozy in here?”

Lindsay is smiling at you, and you want to disappear again. You don’t dare take a look at Eddie; you just push past her, out into the party. You just want to get away. You need to get out of this house; out of the city, maybe- run away from the stupidity.

Stupid Lindsay.

Stupid game.

Stupid kisses.

Stupid expectations.

Stupid yo-

Someone takes a hold of your wrist and brings your escape to an end. Shit.

“Hey, hold on! Wait up!”

You really don’t want to turn around. You really, really don’t want to see his round, starry eyes up this close. You really, really, really don’t want to know how far you’ve embarrassed yourself in front of Eddie. No, you want to pretend you never saw him here. No, the last time you saw Eddie Munson was graduation. He was happy, had that stupidly cute smile of his, and then you never heard anything from him-

“Hey, I’m sorry- oh, God, you said you didn’t want to be touched. I’m sorry!”

He lets go of your wrist as if it was hurting him. His voice is a little too loud now that you’re out of the house. But it’s still gentle and nervous. You take a deep breath and turn around. At least you can’t make this worse, can you?

“I didn’t mean it that way, Eddie.”

“You didn’t…? Oh! Oh, no, you didn’t! No, I see, I- I know. Okay!”

Eddie closes his eyes and scrunches his nose, his head falling backwards. It’s a cute face, even if he looks completely humiliated right now. Something that makes no sense to you.

“Listen, I… Would you like to hang out sometime?”

It’s a simple question. That doesn’t stop you from blinking three times before replying with another question.

“Are you asking me out on a date?”

Eddie’s eyes open like a cartoon character’s.

“Shit! You don’t do that either? I’m really sorry. Fuck, I’m an asshole, and I should leave you alone. I’m so sorry. I promise you’ll never see me again…!”

In his rush to give you space, he ends up tripping over his own feet and falling on his ass. You try to catch him by the arm, but he’s too heavy and you end up falling too.

It’s the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

A laugh makes its way out of your chest and it’s impossible to stop it.

“Oh, God…! Are you… okay, Eddie?”

He’s staring at you as if you were crazy. Fair, because you probably are.

“I didn’t mean to laugh,” but you’re still laughing, “I’m sorry. I guess we’re both sorry, huh?”

The giggles keep coming out.

“Yes… I’d like to hang out sometime.”

His head snaps to you.

“Really?”

You do your best to get the laugh under control.

“Really.”

“Okay, then.”

Now he’s taking your hand and lifting you to your feet. It’s a simple movement, fast and soft; but not faster than your ability to blush. At least you’re not laughing anymore. Eddie is closer now than he was in the closet, his chin a couple inches away from your eyes. He smells like wood and blankets: warm and cozy. It’s easy to forget the party behind you, the loud music and cold air disappearing into his eyes.

“So… No kisses, then? Of any kind? Or is it like touching?”

You find yourself whispering too.

“Just no kisses on the mouth.”

“Great.”

Suddenly, coming to this stupid party doesn’t seem that terrible of an idea, because Eddie Munson is kissing your forehead. And it’s ridiculous, silly and amazing. He’s also blushing, eyes crinkling at the sides and a round, shy smile reflecting yours.

“Just so you know, that counts as our first kiss.”

“First? That implies more than one. Someone’s very confident.”

“Well, the night is young and you look like you have some time to spare. What do you say we get out of here? I could introduce you to the best milkshakes in the city.”

“…I’d actually love that.”

This time it’s you who grabs his hand. Eddie grins, and he looks just like the boy who stood on tables back at Hawkins High: young, brave, ready for adventure.

“I shall show thee the path, milady.”

He bows and you laugh. Walking away from the party and the rest of the world is easy. Comfortable. Natural. The way heaven must feel like, if you had to describe it.

#fanfiction #lennadanvers #eddie munson #stranger things #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie x reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x fem!reader fluff #ace!reader #ace week #acespec #seven minutes in heaven #asexual #ace pride #uni student!eddie #happy ace week #happy ace awareness week #asexual reader

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jundsthoughts · 1 month ago

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Another Burning of the Library AMV!

Okay, so, the amazing @wixenforever was talking with @that1notetaker about some stuff, and I saw it, and my brain went braining. So they were mentioning stuff with the Nott family tree, it burning/being cut away, so now I had this idea with the song Burn by Tom Walker and that made me see and picture things. Behold my continued obsession and bullshit lmfao. P.S. I'll try to keep it vague for spoilers haha

So, this is set during chapter 13 of the fic and the attack itself. And, I had this idea and Lee mentioned that it would work as a cool anime opening and such, so kinda have that as the frame I guess.

I watch as my world's going up in flames Through the black smoke I can see your face Embers they rain as the walls come down Where do we go when the lights go out?

So, this first section of the lyrics. Honestly, I like the idea that it starts with Magnus trapped by the attackers for the first line or two. Within the circle, being taunted, maybe with flashes of past enemies that he has and hasn't dealt with yet. He's a paranoid man, after all.

Then it goes to the next two sets of lyrics, and that's flashing to the Nott Family Tapestry (I like to think it's something more solid than the Black Family's, not necessarily stone but maybe carved into tablets and such? idk). And Magnus' picture/name gets melted/burned/chipped off by the Fiend Fire. We see scorch marks, remnants of names that flash whole before returning to ruin.

I gave you my blood, my sweat, my tears And all you ever did was leave me here Set me on fire 'cause you love the hurt Set me on fire just to watch me

Again, going in pairs within sections, I like these first two as Theo coming down to see Magnus trapped. Seeing this man, who's so strong and powerful yet is helpless at this point. Honestly, kind of seeming resigned and welcoming of his fate to an extent. And there's flashes of the 'Dark Years' and all the hurt.

But Theo's strong, all those things have made him strong. So he squares his shoulders, he pulls out his wand. He tries to fight.

On my knees, my heart, it bleeds While you pour gasoline all over me (oh) Set me on fire 'cause you love the hurt Set me on fire just to watch me Burn Burn

And this is that classic anime fight scene in openings. It's Theo in the Tower, trying to fight, being beaten back as the fire spreads and is created. He's running, ducking and dodging, trying to get through. But as that second 'Burn' hits, it's him falling into blackness as the Fiend Fire snaps towards him, cutting to black for a moment. The camera flashes to the tapestry, Theo's name becoming singed and starting to burn as flames lick around it.

What would you do if you lost control? How would you feel if your dreams were sold? With both your hands tied and your taped up mouth You've gotta even feel how I'm feeling now

Honestly? Give me Graham and Magnus wiping out his family. And this is from Graham's perspective as he watches the modern events, his brother trapped and killed, his nephew fighting and losing. The house and Tower burning. And it's him, for those first two lines, talking to Magnus. Maybe too spiteful for the situation, but I think it'd be fitting. But then, the flames claim him too. And it flashes, again, to the tapestry where his name is fully snuffed out.

We can't really do it this way, but I think the 2nd and 4th lines as showing Ophelia. The mementoes that were left behind, the keepsakes and memories within Theo's room, Magnus', and anywhere else that had been left behind. All of them burning and turning ot cinders, ash blowing in the wind. Her name, face, memory is eaten by the flames.

I gave you my blood, my sweat, my tears And all you ever did was leave me here (oh) Set me on fire 'cause you love the hurt Set me on fire just to watch me

So, these first two lines. Theo is floating, in a bubble, within blackness and no seeing or hearing anything. The ruins, reduced to the bedrock, are the only thing that seems to remain. But the rocks shift, the earth tensing and protecting the bubble that Theo is within, deep deep underground. And on top, the Prophet's report flutters by. It holds for a second, to see the headline and a picture of the flames, before it settles on a ruined rock.

Then the wind blows it just so, and underneath is Theo's name and portrait, singed and marked, changed and not quite whole anymore, but still there. Undeniably there still.

And then we go to the chorus again, and it's Theo waking up within the hideout. He doesn't remember much, doesn't know who attacked, just has information given to him and incomplete memories that seem to point in that direction. But his house is gone, his family in brimstone, and it hurts. He's recovering, slowly, far too slow for his liking.

On my knees, my heart, it bleeds While you pour gasoline all over me Set me on fire 'cause you love the hurt Set me on first just to watch me Burn Burn

And then, the final bits... I'm not quite sure where to go with it. I like the idea of it flashing through Theo with the Library in future events, him with the gang (both green and red), flashes of Dumbledore/Voldemort/Snape/The Attackers. Flashes of him training, learning, preparing.

Until the title card flashes with the final "Burn"'s that are screamed. Where it's the poster, with Theo and the Enemy as the centerpiece, with everyone else arrayed ever into the background. Harry and John are close by, Draco and Blaise, Dumbledore and Voldemort and over it all, watching the proceedings like the chessmasters observing their board that they are.

And there we have it, the idea that a simple idea and family tree spawned. Hopefully you enjoyed lmfao.

#jundsthoughts #botl thoughts #botl #theodore nott #music and fanfic

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yersina · 2 years ago

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a linguist plays chants of sennaar (pt 4)

[pt 1] [pt 2] [pt 3] [x] [pt 5]

we're getting close to the end, guys!!

disclaimer: can't promise that i'll have any insights that a layperson wouldn't have, this is kinda just me thinking through the grammar of the language out loud haha.

this post covers the fourth language and will contain spoilers! it also assumes that you know what the symbols mean already.

additional note: i went and added alt text to my previous posts in this series! sorry for not having them before :)

numbers!!!!!!!!

before i get into anything else, i think i might as well start with numbers, which are the most unique part of this language and really leans into the portrayal of this society as mathematical and scientific lol. like the arabic numeral system, this number system is base 10, which we can see from the ruler. whether it’s base 10 or not isn’t super relevant to the gameplay or the language, i think?? except that it mimics the arabic numeral system, so it’s familiar to us. i am not a mathematician or logician or what-have-you, so i wouldn’t know—my expertise does not lie in this area lol

we only have evidence in the game for numbers with up to 4 digits (one on each side and end of the center line) so we don't know how the alchemists would've represented really big numbers. however, the placement of the four numerical digits around the central line suggests to me that this language might have a system that counts by four digit placements, rather than three. (to clarify: in western cultures, we often count and represent numbers in groups of three: thousand (1,000), million (1,000,000), and so on, with a new word for each set of three digit places. in many east asian languages, large numbers are represented in groups of four instead (examples that came to mind were chinese, japanese, and korean, but that’s just what i’m personally familiar with; there certainly might be others). in chinese, we have 万 (10,000) and 亿 (100,000,000), single words instead of “ten thousand” and “hundred million”. the word for million is “hundred-ten thousand” (百万).) since this language naturally seems to represent numbers in groups of four, that's my suspicion. unfortunately, the addition-only calculator in lab 2 only goes up to 9999, so we don't know what happens at five digits; my best guess is that the center line changes (maybe becomes two lines instead of just one, since one line also represents 0?), but obv there's no guarantee.

moving on from numbers, this language is relatively consistent when it comes to visual representation of linguistic categories: verbs have an open circle, locations have the sideways u/semi-circle deal, and people have a triangle-plus-line element to them. interestingly, “fear” once again is more of a noun than a verb in this language in terms of appearance. at this point, i’m inclined to think that this a quirk of the developers, rather than the language; even though fear is often used as a verb in the language itself, its appearance denotes that it’s primarily a noun, which may indicate that the game developers also thought of it as a noun first and verb second.

other interesting combinations of elements/radicals in the language include “mine”, which combines the radical for location and the triangular feature of scientific elements/materials (i.e, “the location where you can find materials”). the word for “seek/want” and “laboratory” share a radical, which suggests that that radical means something like “answer” or “curiosity” or something like that. another fun thing i noted is that the word for “alchemist” shares a similar shape to “i/me”, which might be indicative of a thought like “i am an alchemist”, and that those two concepts are linked, culturally or historically. i also think it’s interesting that “fire” and “fear” visually look more similar to each other than the other nouns—again, could possibly indicate something about how the alchemists conceptualize them? they obviously live in an environment where they encountered monsters that were scared of fire, and they in turn were scared of the monsters—i wouldn’t be surprised if it were the case that these were connected in that way.

i’ve been trying to figure out if this language has a particular pattern when it comes to representing words with an open circle vs dot, but so far i can’t find anything. might just be random/artistic choice!

this language once again returns to the pattern of being SVO, with plural suffixes rather than prefixes like the warrior language. in fact, i would say that grammatically, especially in terms of sentence structure, the warriors and the alchemists seem to be the most similar. no verb-initial languages in this game i’m afraid, haha.

one more language to go!!

#sina rambles #sina plays chants of sennaar #chants of sennaar #linguistics #language

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throwntotheair · 1 year ago

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Tl;Dr

Homestuck in both canon and post canon have a remarkable throughline re:

John as a Person

Dirk as a Character

John consistently hyper aware of the narrative to the point of looping back to thinking only he could be real

Dirk consistently hyper aware of the narrative and embracing it to the point that he can only submerge himself further as a narrator

They give each other a reach around and deny everyone their personhood and agency

(Candy John is maybe improving but also maybe this is part of Ult Dirk's plan)

Anyways, I think they should kiss

My personal opinion is that John is kinda boring as a character - and wasnt that his whole point? average kid with an average life - loving father, suburban house, no tragic backstories just the folly of being a teenager

But if we sink into the verse and treat him as a person, he's almost believable. He was a fun guy (pre-canon), and then became horribly depressed and consequently awful (post-canon)... But like we've probably walked by a thousand Johns in the real world who maybe didnt become gods but who still treat the world like its not a part of them and theyre going through some shit that makes empathy real fucking hard - making them unpleasant to be with

John is a believable person

Dirk is a character - all the way to how he was Dave's Bro - this bigger than life figure. Who does all this crazy and cool shit - with all the irons in the fire, with all the sicknasty tricks, etc. etc.

Dirk always seemed to be framed as someone who could never be real. So he can't become a believable person and his whole journey to villainhood is just another way for him to run away from his own (for lack of a better term) humanity.

It all circles back to the idea that John is a loser because he's basically an everyguy. I could meet a guy like John on the street and think there goes another divorcee father at forty. but if Dirk walks down the street, you will always look twice - you will always watch. That's Dirk's whole deal

And a good long way that canon and post canon seems to fight is because Dirk thinks that people want a spectacle - they want the keyfabe - they want the wrestling match

But the spectacle works best as an opening gambit - it works best as a way to grab people, hook them in - people come for the spectacle

People stay for John. And Rose. And Dave. And Jade. And (insert favorite character here).

They want people to form parasocial relationships with so they can read and be changed however minutely - however infitisemally. We can't as a matter of fact feel things about characters as written without the double think of "oh for a second that felt real". And Homestuck's general navel gazing into the nature of fiction has utterly forgotten the most important question of all

Why do we tell stories?

#homestuck #dirkjohn #smarter people have talked a lot about narrative #im not adding anything new #but its kinda remarkable #i started with dirkjohn #and i ended up emotional about the art of storytelling #disclaimer #fiction ISNT real #disagreements over narrative interpretations are not personal attacks #dont prioritize the again PARASOCIAL relationship to a character over real people #i cant BELIEVE that needs saying #but you know....

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vanillaxoshi · 1 year ago

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Petir:

Smash!

Three more practice robot fighters gets cut in half (along with electrocution which was enough to damage their system) and fall down. Petir huffs as he stands straight wiping off the sweat from his forehead. He was tired….well he had been practising from past three hours, he should take a break shouldn’t he?

He goes near one of the benches at the side and grabs himself a bottle of water ready to gulp it down completely. The gates of the arena open revealing Tanah standing there,

“Petir it’s past bed time” said Tanah waiting their impatiently

“Hm”

“You’re going now?”

“I will leave soon”

“Ok then” saying so Tanah smiles warmly and leaves. Petir narrows his eyes at his brother’s gesture. Not like he hates it, just suspicious and not only on him, he’s suspicious on all of his brothers. Yesterday when he went to his room the lights were off and Angin was asleep, quite strange for him as his brother never heads to bed before he nudges him too, acting like another Cahaya.

Tanah was completely energetic today and doing his duties well, talking warmly to all his friends and subordinates also being little less fussy on his brothers, acting a bit like before?

Day before yesterday he had seen Api and Daun pranking Sai by changing his regular drink with some bitter tasted one? He don’t know just he saw Sai rushing to washroom that day atleast five times for puking, that’s not what actually matters- The strange thing was that Api started behaving like before even if it was for a bit, he wasn’t looking stressed, short tempered person who would practically burst on anyone or shout at random aliens….yeah except he scared them with his fire show and Daun was helping him around? The kid who wasn’t going anywhere else except Cahaya’s lab and his artificial garden was now laughing, making fun and pranking others?

Air was eating just like before and today Tanah had to make him stop from eating extra not the other way around which is kinda good but what actually is wrong with his brothers? They look like they are finally recovering well he’s glad for that but what if they are actually turning psychotic?

You’re the one acting insane right now

Yeah maybe you’re right! It’s been a hard time thinking about-

Wait what-?

“Who’s there?” saying so Petir looks around the arena, he just finds debris of the practice robots nothing else! Then who just spoke? Did those robots ghost tried to avenge themselves as he had beaten them down a bit brutally? Maybe? Are robot ghosts for real?

You need therapy

He heard that again! But why did that voice- wait why is his head not moving anymore? Not even his body

Look at your black circled eyes! That’s gonna make your popularity drop

“C-Cahaya?”

He knows that voice

Good for me! I will be more popular than you and a bit humble not acting as an inhuman beast

His brother was right there? Ugh why can’t he move his head to look at him

Hey atleast listen to me for once

“Do you listen to me?”

…..

Are you angry on what Captain Kaizo said today?

…..

This time it was Petir who was silent. He had sword practice with Captain Kaizo this morning and the alien mocked him being weak and failing to protect his brothers. Kaizo thought he was just mocking him so that he would try harder unknown to him he had succeeded in making Petir rage out as he remembered the events with Vargoba, practically trying to kill Captain on the spot if Angin and Tanah would have not intervened

“He wasn’t wrong”

You have always looked after me even when we had our differences Petir, I wouldn’t like this cold tsundere blaming himself

“I wasn’t able to protect you from Vargoba”

Maybe this time, Petir was ignoring all those those names or lame fights he have with Cahaya

You tried to help me but I let my pride to take better of me, you did what you could

……

C’mon what should I do to reassure you?

…...

Don’t be a silent demon you mr cold stoneface

“Can I get a hug?”

What…?

Cahaya is just starring at Petir blankly with a complete disbelief. He’s now sure that his brother needs therapy on the other hand Petir’s face turns a bit red. Well that was embarrassing?! Maybe he shouldn’t-

And Cahaya hugged him! He knows his hug especially in this form won’t do anything or provide with some sort of unknown comfort which Tanah often mentions about but maybe he will hug him for real when he wakes up

Or could it be that Cahaya was wrong this time? Yes! He was definitely correct on the fact that his hug did not provide the comfort Petir wanted but it gave him that assurance he wanted, his brother is there, right in front of him, he’s fine, he will be fine! Just that he wasn’t able to return that hug…

“You aren’t telling about this to anyone!”

Trust me! I m not interested either

Next morning…

Before the automatic doors could open themselves someone just slammed them to each side with an extraordinary strength. That noise definitely woke Petir up with a jerk who had actually fallen asleep on the bench present in arena

“ABANG PETIR”

“Geez! Angin why are you shouting?!” said Petir as he reflexively closes his one ear and rubs his eyes

“PETIR PETIR PETIR!!!”

“What?! Wait are you crying-?”

“THESE ARE HAPPY TEARS!!!”

“Happy tears-?”

“CAHAYA WOKE UP!!!”

“WHAT?!?”

“YES!! He’s awake he-“

“Lighting speed”

And Petir sprinted off to meet his brother

“HEY!!! DON’T LEAVE ME” saying so Angin followed him behind using his wind power

Petir and Angin arrives at the room, he could see all his brothers, friends, Captain Kaizo, Commander and Ramenman gathered there. Though they had started exiting as he entered and before leaving Captain Kaizo pats his shoulder muttering a sorry much of his amusement.

Now it was only his brother’s and friends there. He looks at Cahaya who could only move his head and hands a little, he couldn’t speak so basically he was suffering from all those worry notes his brothers and friends were giving him. Cahaya looks at Petir and smiles which surprisingly was returned by him. Gopal and Angin (the only ones) who saw Petir’s smile shuddered in horror?!

What the heck just happened!!

Extra:-

Only Cahaya and Petir were in the room. Cahaya could only speak (lightly), move his hands and head, he couldn’t sit though. All his brothers had gone to do their respective work and Tanah had been called by doctor.

“Why are you looking at me like that Pikachu?” said Cahaya with his restrained voice in a tried mocking tone. To be honest, his brother had been quiet and starring at him since he had arrived and not to mention that surprise smile he received

Petir just walks near Cahaya and hugs him catching the other with surprise. Before he could say anything he felt drops of few tears on his shoulders, he just sighed! When will his brothers turn back normal!

He hugs him back with his free hand

“Api should take a picture of this”

“Shut up”

BIG BROTHER PETIR YES

They all need therapy

And look at all the stuff that happened when Cahaya was ghosting around making them feel better especially for when he woke up

So sweeet especially big brother tsundere Petir

#boboiboy #xoshi answers #xoshi asks #bbb septuplet au #ankssastro scenarios

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bluebrush09arts-archive · 1 year ago

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It seems like your art presence on social media has been causing you a lot of stress lately :( could it be wise to take a little break?

I'm not all that stressed by it in all honesty, I don't really even care that much if I have tons of followers or get hundreds of likes...

What I do care about is feeling like my content matters once in a while. Like people still give a damn about what I do so my efforts actually feel worth it. I cannot even begin to describe how utterly disheartening and discouraging it is to share art these days, how everywhere you turn they're trying to kill the thing you love to do and feeling like people don't care.

Art in any form is a medium that requires sharing to be seen, but nobody shares anymore, nobody comments or interacts anymore. It really and truly makes you wonder why you even bother. We put hours of our lives into creation, put a lot of passion and energy into it, to get nothing in return to make it feel fully satisfying. It honestly kinda hurts. But we keep trying and keep putting ourselves out there because we want to share what we do. Drawing for yourself is important, do what you do because it's fulfilling to you 100%, but again, art is for sharing, and a little positivity in return goes a long way. Especially with the whole of the internet actively trying to destroy your craft or steal your content.

Now none of this is a plea or a grab for attention, but I will say that a simple 'this looks great' can make or break some young artists whole day, it can inspire them for a whole week to continue to create. Even if you aren't necessarily interested in the content itself. It makes them feel seen and feel like people want to see more and see them grow. If a child shows you a drawing they did do you brush them off, or do you tell them they did a good job and put it where it can be seen? Feedback and encouragement are so incredibly important for growth and artists get none of it anymore, or very little from the same circle.

"Well is that a bad thing? It's better than nothing."

True. But we always want to reach out to more people, to pull them into a new thing that maybe they didn't know existed. They might end up finding their new favourite art styles or artists, you never know. We love to share and interact with people and gush about what we are doing, that's what art is, but our reach only goes so far, that's why we are basically forced to rely on the collective, because every algorithm and every website is hiding us from you. And day by day the collective drifts farther and farther into the "free content/mindless scrolling" mindset. Obviously there are those of you who don't, and we appreciate the hell out of you who do stick around or do leave a small comment. But is it wrong to wish for a little more? To feel like you are being seen and that your time and effort matters? To feel appreciated? Personally I don't think so. Comments can be hard, but we aren't asking for a deep analysis, just a simple 'good job' and maybe a share.

We want to continue to create and share, but we need those seemingly insignificant crumbs to keep the fire going.

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bonesandthebees · 9 months ago

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Tomys time! Oh the angst of Wilbur waiting for Tomys to come knowing he’s not bedbound anymore only to never receive a visit. Did anyone even tell him Wilbur was asking for him? I don’t think so.

[Because Wilbur knew that if Tommy could visit him, he would.] PAIN.

This is the part where their trauma starts to show through. And I mean Really show through. First there’s Wilbur’s constant doom spirals about Tommy’s possible death that no one has told him about for some reason as if he would not be invited to the funeral or hear the maids whisper or if his father would ever really keep that from him (maybe to protect him, but he doesn’t not yet realise how deep the trauma bonding goes).

Then there’s [Though beneath the healthy flush to his cheeks Wilbur could still see dark circles hanging under his eyes, as if he hadn’t slept properly in weeks.] aka nightmare foreshadowing even though we haven’t seen a single one of them yet. Phil does talk about Wilbur’s nightmares but there hasn’t been a mention in his own narration yet. Maybe he was fussing in his sleep or Phil just knows how trauma works.

[Tommy winced at the sound of Wilbur’s voice.] the disbelieve at seeing him + really seeing the damage Wilbur walked away with while Tommy is (supposedly) physically fine followed by the guilt is so painful. It wasn’t his fault. He did not control the way the carriage fell or the snowfall. Maybe the bone shifted more when Wilbur was moving but they could not stay there.

Tommy, like Wilbur, did everything right and still feels so guilty, feels like he failed. I’m so glad he gets a hug.

Intermission for the cane plot: [For the first time since his father gave it to him, Wilbur had the urge to toss the cane to the side so he could pretend as though he didn’t need it.] Wilbur does not mind the cane, the problem is how it makes other’s view him and how they look at him.

[It didn’t make sense. Tommy had seen Wilbur at his lowest. This was an improvement./But it didn’t feel like one.] because when he had the broken leg it would either 1 heal when they got back and be fine (at least in his mind or own delusion because he kinda knew it was bad but not how bad) or 2 it would not matter because he’d be dead.

But NOW it’s healed but not properly. It won’t be how it was ever again. So yeah he can walk but it does not feel like an improvement because it’s not what either of them expected it to be. But he can still walk and move around (with great struggle at the start and slightly less struggle with time, but still).

(2/5)

-🌲

nope, no one told tommy wilbur wanted to see him! phil only visited tommy once and that was mostly while wilbur was still passed out after first getting back to the palace. otherwise the only people attending to tommy were puffy, jack, and tubbo. maybe a servant informed lady puffy that wilbur was asking after tommy but she just never passed along the message... maybe not...

oh yeah these boys are TRAUMATIZED. there's no logical reason for wilbur to think tommy died and everyone is just keeping it a secret from him, but the fear is still there. after all, wilbur was always worried that when tommy left his line of sight in the cave that he would be attacked and sure enough that ended up happening on the last day. his worst fear came true then so why couldn't it happen again?

phil hasn't seen a full blown nightmare of wilbur's yet but he definitely knows how trauma works so he expects it

poor tommy blames himself for something he had absolutely zero control of. a part of him is convinced that he could've taken care of wilbur's leg better if he had just known more. after all, wilbur was the one who had to figure out how to even splint his leg and talk tommy through how to tie it. this leads to tommy wondering if his leg would be so irreparably damaged if he'd already known how to do a proper splint like he knew how to start a fire and find food. of course it's not his fault he didn't know that but :(

yeah the thing about wilbur is that he himself has never been particularly athletic or skilled with a sword or anything, so while of course not being able to walk like he used to is frustrating his life, for all intents and purposes, hasn't changed much. he was always going to spend his days sitting at desks reading texts and providing advice. his skills always came from his mind, not his body. so it's not as though he's suddenly lost his life's purpose with this injury. but the way everyone perceives him has changed and that's what's so frustrating to him about the cane.

but yeah seeing tommy again really is like the nail in the coffin reminding both of them that what happened to them in l'mannes is going to have lasting repercussions for the rest of their lives. it'll never be 'normal' again.

#ask #spruce anon #rose ch 11

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kaoarika · 1 month ago

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I just found out that sur/ugaya has just blocked their adult products listings, and while I know they do have a worldwide shop and sometimes not all of the JP catalog is even there, so you reccur to a proxy service to make you a favor, and I know many of these companies are restricted in buying you adult content stuff... suru (and mndrk, if I'm honest) sometimes, very widely, not even catalog their second hand items WELL and some things got mixed in the cross fire, you know?

I know an specific case of a doujin that was? classified as adult material on suru, but wasn't on mndrk. So, when I wanted to buy the thing from the latter, two years ago, I frankly... couldn't risk it, lmao, (package was getting too heavy and perhaps expensive for EMS, and do I want to scream at customs agents about stuff I bought for myself? AND GIVE THEM AN EXPLANATION OF A BL SMALL DOUJIN? PLEASE... although it's worse these days ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) and I simply backed off (and maaaan, I am TOTALLY seeing mndrk being targeted/affected next :/).

So, I suppose the same can be said about a couple of gen? anthology doujins that came out around 15 years ago and I often wanted to get them, maybe? (and at the time I didn't even had a bank acc*ount), but I TRULY feel like suru had them miscatalogued for some reason as "explicit" BL-content (you know how many of these old doujins tend to say "BL or exclusively for women" in their catalog titles? well, that, "but actually...", as in "explicit" and I'm like "hmmm"), and I frankly do not know why they weren't put together with the actual series, and were catalogued from the VERY general "magazine" category. And it kinda hurts? they were caught in the crossfire, lmao.

I'm saying this because... honestly? I remember seeing ppl selling these in ebay back in the day (when I got into the series and a certain pairing), and the few sample pages these vendors shared didn't seem "too mature" or "too R18" to me, although, who knows, it seemed to be an "anything goes" kind of doujin anthology, and the contents could have varied from any ship and genre under the sun, going from Gen to MAYBE explicit... but fucking suru didn't catalogued them the right way in fucking early 2010s (again, not uncommon - I have EVEN seen them crediting mistaken artists to their celebrities goods?) so. SO. (And there's barely anything of a registry about these OLD doujins because MANY of these artist circles disappeared from the face of earth, or are professional and you know how doujinshi is practically such a gray area that not everyone embraces their doujinka pasts very well).

And, honestly? I kind of hate living as an actual adult in the 2020s, with money I want to waste in my adult entertainment, but, oh NOOO... the prude credit card companies somehow? think? they can adult you better, a 30+ year old adult, than yourself (and I HATE that many anti-sx laws proposals out there are coming from a very US-centric POV, while fuck the entire world, I guess?). And while, YES, I know there's even worse things than smut novels/pictures, basically punishing everyone under the sun (especially adult sx workers!) that do this kind of stuff or WANT to buy this kind of stuff is like? "haha, try again in your fucking next lifetime?"

#kao's ramblings

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jazajas · 3 months ago

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this is for me and has been sitting in my drafts for like a year, but also people may like it so here

my romance plans for future run throughs of bg3 when u get my own pc/steam account (so i stop using my sister's) by romancable character-

wyll: daralis, my og and based on a dnd character. tiefling sorcress bc why not. having her romance wyll stems around her being a tiefling and him turning into a devil. yknow, esp since he cared deeply for the tiefling kids in the grove ans who better to appreciate his horns than someone with horns? 👀 [this is now (as of March 2025 is my active run through and so far has not disappointed]

astarion: also based on a dnd character. high elf druid heavy on the sun/moon imagery. she's a circle of the stars druid in the irl campaign and a 'moon' high elf (this mostly how i based her character look). so for bg3 she'd be a circle of the moon druid and a moon elf (not drow) and I've always imagined astarion as a former sun high elf. so it's poetic in that they're opposites by origin which is how she'd view them, but their roles are reversed for astarion as he belongs to the moon as a vampire spawn and she is his sun. also i need her to be a relatively young elf so they have as much time together as possible bc tav dying makes me sad 😭

shadowheart: cleric of selune bc enemies to lovers. may change if i we what other gods are available but, up until act3 it's like a forbidden romance [this one is still kinda half baked tbh]

gale: ella, half-elf warlock (magic related angst reasons). all my characters i view as close to my age (early 20s) simply bc that is what i know. and gale is decidedly Not in his early 20s so is a double whammy of "i worked for my power, you begged for yours*" (*debateable) and "a way older man who's quite literally loved and lost is now the object of affection of a much younger woman who has her whole life ahead of her" but like, yknow, in a not creepy way bc you're grown consenting adults (maybe its a daddy issues kinda thing for her, relating to her back story bc I've got her as a noble background so maybe her dad is a lord who sold her to the fey fire something) [maybe ella is eternal young by her contract instead, IDK is my story, anyway at the time i wrote this i was on her save but romancing astarion. may either make a new save like i did w/ daralis or restart her save to romance gale instead IDK yet]

le'zel: durge run through bc murder girlfriends - i don't think i can do an evil run through, but the concept of durge trying to not feed murderous thoughts and having her gf go "bet" and egg her on a bit is pleasing to me. its the: they somehow make each other worse and better at the same time and it's unpleasant for everyone around but they're too afraid to ask them to stop.

karlach: human character, idk what class - maybe bard. has to be human bc im a sucker for the concept of giant fire woman and human who stares at her with utmodt affection. it also makes things sweeter for karlach tbh - like here's someone who literally couldnt get it without being told and she just accepts everything but also like crush me with your thighs. anyway - the concept is pleasing, thats what matters

halsin: idk if i'd do a separate runthrough for him or plop him in one of the poly characters. my first run with daralis accidentally was a strict halsin run bc i fucked up in act 1

they're all afab/fem too, bc im bisexual and what i say goes

#baldurs gate 3 #jas rambles #for later

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amusedunderclock · 1 year ago

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Backlog: Talking About Indie Games - Flynn: Son of Crimson

Originally I posted this somewhere else early 2022, but I'm trying to consolidate right now.

So Flynn: Son of Crimson was a game I wishlisted on Steam a while back. Could not tell you where I heard of it. Even when I originally wrote this, it was in my wishlist for a while. Turns out, it was also on Game Pass at the time. I reached the 101% achievement in the game. I think overall, the game is good. You can probably get 5 hours out of it in one sitting, but I was taking my time.

In general, the music is calming. You're not gonna see rock songs here. But it gets intense when it needs to. Someone may argue the art is similar to a lot of other indie titles, but idk what to say. The backgrounds are well detailed, the animations are great.

The enemies have unique attacks and more often than not, have more than one attack for variety. I will say the electric ones were kinda annoying, especially the bees in that cave level where you have to platform just right to avoid electric fish. Like, calm down.

The combat system gives you a decent amount of freedom off the bat. Flynn feels good to control. The dodge roll is great. Only thing that held me back was my own impatience. What do I mean? Well I went the whole story without really uppercutting or down smashing anything. Really only ended up doing those to complete the in-game achievements. Would those attacks have helped my playthrough be somewhat smoother? Possibly a little, but not anything crazy.

The game gives you a lot to fight with in hindsight. However, this is also one of those games where backtracking with all the upgrades is kinda pointless. You only go back to get missing relics that are accessible without most upgrades.

Hero Mode's a thing. That wasn't on the Game Pass version though so i couldn't judge that when I wrote this. Maybe in the future I'll look into it.

Getting all the relics isn't exactly worth it. It really seems to exist for the people to casually find every now and then while messing around in the game. I fall into this category. But I just wasn't interested because there are places in the game you'd THINK would have secrets in them and just...don't. Kinda lessens the impulse to collect everything. Maybe that was intentional from the devs, but who knows? To me though, it just makes certain areas feel like ther could've been less empty space.

I don't want to be one of those people talking about "ThE sToRy dOeSn'T mAtTeR" because this has more going on than some games. I would say the story is told as much in the levels as it is in dialogue. It gives the setting some depth. The Scourge idea with everything on lockdown is great.

As a story though, it's pretty straight forward more or less. I think there were missed opportunities.

Examples:

The NPCs don't say anything new as the story goes on.

There probably could've been a Scourge event n the town Flynn starts in. Full circle and all that.

Flynn clearly has friends his age. They probably never experienced the war people talk about. Perhaps the kids have something to say, yet nothing's said.

Plus, just the overall idea that Flynn is literally more god mode than the literal goddess for no reason. But I wouldn't know how to write around that. So it's hard to judge.

Smaller issues are just what features get screen time. The glider's cool, and it was only there for half a level. The Dex segments happen perhaps a little too late in the game. The backtracking thing feels extra weird when you're never allowed to destroy vine spikes or destroy ice with your fire blasts. Aside from that last point, it's the little things like that could've improved the game if tweaked or given a little bit more time to cook.

But beyond that, it hits all the points it needs to. There's a decent amount packed in here. It even has enemy gauntlet areas. Do I think it's worth buying? Yes. Especially at a sale. The game got good reviews. I don't entirely know if I'd give it the same score that ended up on Metacritic, but I see that for an indie game, for the amount of time you spend on this, the quality, amount of content, and price, I understand. I think it is a very solid game.

#gaming #indie games #flynn son of crimson #video games

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im--never--happy · 2 years ago

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sure thing fam.

so. mako's the only one who can and actually does cook, full stop. that's not the most important point but it's one i think about a lot. bolin always had mako cooking for him. mako goes and buys groceries and fucking cooks them. bolin is a takeout kinda guy -- how else would his and mako's food (withheld from their wages) money s1 be so expensive and mako not know about it? bolin was just buying food from other people and not actually buying groceries that he brought home to cook. korra can't/doesn't cook because she's, and i quote, "always had people taking care of her". all her basic needs have been met all her life pre-show and after she comes to RC, where pema and the air acolytes probs do all the cooking on Air Temple Island. asami is rich af and has personal servants. the chance of her actually having to grocery shop and cook are extremely close to zero. mako on the other hand, was actively shown casually cooking and seasoning up some noodles. he buys groceries, he brings home food for bolin, he kept his brother alive for years. home boy can cook (and is probably pretty decent at it too)

next on the list: mako has held down a steady job for years. prior to being a pro-bender, he was working cleaning the arena in exchange for room and board. sure bolin was working too, but we all know mako was pulling the brunt of the weight. he also worked his ass off for the triads while bolin goofed around and bet all their money. and sure sure they were both kids then, but im saying that to set the precedent and demonstrate a pattern. bolin goofed off and splurged their money all the time but mako took everything (and their finances) very seriously. kid picks up extra factory shifts on top of pro-bending to scrape up extra cash, working long physically demanding hours, (and the first thing he does, is bring bolin his favorite food as a peace offering). then he holds down his job at RC police for years. he gets promoted to detective because he's so good at it and so competent. (and then he get's promoted to guarding literal world leader because he's so trustworthy as well). Meanwhile, Bolin jumps from job to job. Pro bender, mover star, kuvira's lackey, varrick's assistant (tho he didn't have a choice in that last one). korra never even had a job. she was on tarlock's task force for a hot second before she bailed on that. sure asami saved and ran a massive successful technology company for several years, but she wasn't already working from the start of s1, as well as her company did technically go bankrupt (tho that's not really her fault).

when no one wants to knock on Lin's door in s3 in zhaofu (idk how to spell anything sorry y'all), they're all making excuses and mako's just like fine whatever i'll do it. and he steps the fuck up and braves whatever the consequences may be. because. he's. responsible.

mako is trusted to guard prince wu at age 22 (maybe earlier since we don't know how long he was doing that for). he's a 22 year old. and he is entrusted with the safety and security of a future world leader to a country in the midst of a major civil war and a major world crisis. like think about that in real life. how insane that actually is, to put a 22 year old by himself in charge of keeping the next world leader alive. he got that position because he is responsible as fuck. now compare to bolin, who was not actually in kuvira's inner circle (until they wanted to use him as a tool to persuade Su and her family). or korra who was never put in charge of guarding or protecting anybody and who frequently needed to be guarded and protected herself.

mako perpetually talked bolin and korra out of numerous bad rash ideas, and then proceeded to save their asses when they went ahead and did them anyways.

he is captain of the fire ferrets because he's the calmest most level headed, reliable, and responsible.

mako reliably takes care of the krew. he tries to keep them out of trouble, he tries to protect them, to rescue them when they get themselves into situations (too many to count or name for bolin and korra, for asami when she literally makes a business deal with a duplicitous fuck (i love varrick ngl) who then double crosses her and steals all her products and bankrupts her. but mako has that plan for how to save the day, and by god he fucking executes on it. sure he gets framed and put in jail but like. semantics lmao. if he hadn't have been set up and framed, he would have succeeded. and even then, he literally did succeed in the end.), and to make everything right. the kid knew how to responsibly spend and budget money, which none of the others did.

during the stakeout for Aiwei, mako was utterly focused and determined and on task. bolin and asami were literally playing a board game. korra was killing time, and trying to get up and barge in on Aiwei. Mako was sitting diligently and patiently at the window, never distracted or looking away, literally taking notes in his logbook.

when they were investigating aiwei in zaofu, bolin goes and touches and moves Aiwei's things, mako is the responsible adult putting them back in place since bolin didn't bother to pay attention.

mako always had a plan. he was never flustered, he never went into a situation half-baked. he always planned and figured shit out, and he was reliable af. korra barged into countless situations with zero caution or plan, but always counted on mako to come up with a plan to save the day and get them out. in s1 when the equalists took bolin, korra just fucking kicks down the doors of the triple threat triad's hq, while mako was all about going in cautiously. then when they get to the equalist rally, mako stops korra from just jumping on stage and starting a fight against hundreds (probs thousands) of equalists to grab bolin. instead he thinks of a good plan and he executes it and gets them all out of there alive and bending in tact.

listen, asami can also be fairly responsible, but she is not Team Mom the way mako is definitively and unequivocally Team Dad.

hi hello would you want to talk about mako with me?

hell fucking yeah I do!!! I could talk about Mako 24/7!! What about Mako do you want to talk about?! His amazing bending skills? His guilt and savior complexes? The struggle and internal angst he must have with bending the same element that was used to kill his parents? The trauma of watching his parents be murdered in front of him when he was eight? Him literally raising his brother entirely alone all by himself on the streets with no support or help from anyone while he himself was a homeless child? The work he did for the triads? The things he must have seen and trauma he incurred? What he must have had to do to get himself and Bolin out of the triads, because top secret dangerous gangs don’t just let people walk away with potentially dangerous knowledge and secrets? Or should we talk about how he was the only responsible member of the gang? How he couldn’t trust anyone and was always used to having to take care of everything all by himself? Should we talk about how he never felt deserving of love or affection and always let other people mistreat and misjudge him and he never resented them for treating him unfairly because he literally didn’t think he deserved any better? Should we talk about how he just wants to protect the people he loves and keep them safe? Or should we talk about how much of an outsider he probably felt like in his earth kingdom family and how he had no connection to his fire nation side or any family members who looked like him? Should we talk about how he had no positive firebending role models growing up and even as an adult, how the only firebenders he ever interacted with were triad members? Or maybe we should talk about how betrayed he must have felt by everyone when varrick framed him, or how betrayed and lonely and abandoned and useless and low he must have felt when Bolin had left and he found out korra had stayed in touch with asami but not him? Or what about the guilt and shame and trauma from when he straight up killed sparky sparky boom lady 2.0? Or what about the fact that he full on sacrificed himself—fully expecting to die— to save Republic City from Kuvira’s evil spirit vine weapon, and was permanently scarred (and probably disabled from it), and how he first ordered Bolin to get out and save Kuivira’s soldiers and himself while Mako stayed behind to blow up the weapon (and probably die in the process)? Or maybe we should talk about how he was so insanely fucking smart and clever and resourceful and logical and rational and brave and also such a huge dork and nerd when he was allowed to be and didn’t have to have all the responsibility and weight of the world on his shoulders? What do you want to talk about friend because I could talk about mako aaaallllllllll fucking day!!

#mako supremacy #feel free to add more friends #this is a very rambly all over the place dump of me screaming about mako & then refusing to go back and edit it into any form of coherency #just feelings about mako #mako is responsible #the rest of the krew not so much #mako #mako LOK #lok #legend of korra #tlok mako

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