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weirdtacothing · 4 months
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thestarmaker16 · 1 year
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Banban has a punchable face :P
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kyouka-supremacy · 1 year
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I am totally pushing the aku top of the school agenda HOWEVER this mf would pop a vein before tutoring anyone (teaching math would end up in murder)
I swear I am extremely fascinated by and genuinely interested to understand what prompts this fairly spread perception of smart Akutagawa because I really can't see it.
Akutagawa is THE flawed character of the franchise. He has barely any redeemeing qualities. His being a ruthless, mindless dog, a beast, an animal is a central theme of his character: he's one of the most inhuman characters, no rationality, no emotions. It only makes sense he'd also be lacking in intellect, one of the most intrinsically human qualities, right? Let's also keep in mind that when it comes to intelligence, he was specifically trained since a very early age so that he wouldn't develop any critical thinking skill or wisdom. He was appositely built to be an executor, never a thinker. A killing machine, a mindless beast. He was made to be a tool, not a person. He is the very epitome of irrationality- and that much shows in everything he does! There's plenty canon evidence to support it. His actions are never guided by preliminary thoughts, he just acts on instinct, akin to an animal. He will kill his target in chapter 4 although his mission is specifically not to, he will barge into a building full of security guards right through the front door without even ordering his subordinates to offer support, he will go rogue and storm into the Moby Dick destroying everything in his path no matter the consequences, he will naïvely jump off a balcony to catch a repetitor just because his worst enemy said it had Dazai-san on the line- do I have to continue? His whole character is exclusively driven either by orders, or by instinct and irrationality. Guys, it would have been SO MUCH EASIER if upon seeing Ranpo's message Akutagawa had just took out his phone and gone “hey Chuuya-san, it's likely we've found the mastermind and the whole thing will be solved here at this place, can you come over one second?”. But he didn't, and it's not simply a matter of suspension of disbelief (in the way that the events are more satisfying this way). Was it for his pride then? Indeed, but Akutagawa's pride and irrationality are in a perpetual concomitant relationship of cause and effect, where one is constantly born from the other. I do think his very simple and straight-forward objectives (1. kill the Jinko 2. be acknowledge by Dazai-san 3. die) are themselves expression of his simple mindset, and so is a certain naïvety he has, that I honestly wish more people took into account when characterizing him.
It's funny because, the thematic relevance of it is the whole point- in reality, I don't think there's such a thing as a stupid person, I firmly believe everyone has their own kind of intelligence, a field each of us excells in. But it's exactly because Akutagawa isn't a person (well. in this context at least), but a character, that one can push a characteristic to its extremes in order to make it symbolic of something, in order to make an archetype out of his character. And Akutagawa at his core is irrationality, he is Dazai's failed trainee and ugliest foil, he is the ultimate pawn, he is the beast. The fact that Akutagawa is a character– it's relevant. He's not a person, he's a vassel for themes. I can dare to rudely talk about him like he was an animal because it's the narrative itself that before anyone else pushes the reader to see him in a dehumanizing way. Akutagawa once literally tore the skin off a man's neck with his teeth effectively killing them. It's quite not simple dog coding anymore lol. But he's just a dude from a book really, he's just symbolism: and that's why he can become a dog, or a pawn, or the stupidest person of Yokohama, as the author or reader pleases. It's really not that deep ahah
I can guess a possible counterpoint would be that perhaps, in a universe where he wasn't subject to the slums and Dazai's abuse such as high schools aus, Akutagawa would get his chance to be witty? But then I can't help but think, if you don't make Akutagawa stupid... Aren't you taking a fundamental trait of his character away from him? What's left of Akutagawa then? What would be the point of reading, let's say, a sskk high school fic if you can't recognize Akutagawa in it? But then again I guess this is exactly the reason why I can't bring myself to like most of alternative universe bsd fics (╥﹏╥)
Also, ultimately, there *are* personal preference components to it. In my headcanon Akutagawa has autism / adhd, and although those don't always have a negative impact on one's academic results, there is a chance they do. And I'd honestly lean towards that chance more when it comes with Akutagawa, because he is the pathetic man that has everything going wrong for him. There's symptoms in his impulsivity and scarce self-control, and I believe they'd make school life very hard for him, especially when it comes to focusing in classes and for studying- which is fitting tbh, can you imagine Akutagawa ever having a happy life? (I'm jk I swear I love him)
Besides, I must have mentioned how one of the main appeals of sskk for me is how despite being thoroughly flawed people they can still be loved. It's surprisingly comforting to think that even the most evil of people can be loved, and it's the same when it comes for stupidity. Stretching Akutagawa's flaws just makes him more symphatetic and enjoyable to read about.
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hotdyke-hardstyle · 1 year
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why is the desktop post editor such a pain in the ass to use. I just want to upload my gifs 😔
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t4tstarvingdog · 2 years
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AND THEN
#OF COURSE AS IF I COULD FORGET. the different translations and the times of trouble. of course#and esv saying there shall be a time of trouble and nasb saying there will be a time of distress#BUT THEN. ceb saying it will be a time of distress#and this is where i become paranoid about my professor being on destiel gay sex tumblr and seeing this BUT WHO CARE !!#anyways the interesting difference in presentation in terms of establishing the times as difficult#like esv and nasb make it seem like it will come about but ceb makes it sound already established in a sense#ALSO ALSO ALSO something i didn't explore as it wasn't quite as relevant BUT the book mentioned in daniel 12:1#and how i KNOW it's referencing a specific book (the book of life i think) but how it says everyone who is Found written in the book#(or scroll depending on translation)#and to ME the ''found'' is so so interesting#like. everyone who is found written in the book#where else is this book mentioned!!! i don't care about the desolation of the abomination anymore i want to study the various biblical#passages that mention and explore this book#and NO it's tooootally not because i love the paradox of choice versus the omniscience and omnipotence of God ...... totally....#if he already knows who will be saved and shit and set everything into motion then HOW can it be a choice???#and of course the difference of size in infinities#if there is the perfect amount of space for the people who choose to believe then if one more person believed there wouldn't be enough#space except for of course the fact that god would know and there would be space#if you have a motel with infinite rooms but you also have infinite peoplethen all the rooms will be full EXCEPT#they can't all be full because they're infinite except of course you have infinite people so they are all full#but that doesn't matter anyway because the motel doesn't have a pool so we weren't going to stay there anyways#we'll go to the inn and suites across the road#timothy's txts.#WHO KNOWS WHAT I'M SAYING. NOT ME. i just say shit for funsies#tw caps#tw swearing
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cero-sleep · 2 years
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Rouge /p , rose, n punkin
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Awwwwwaawawwwwawawwww <3
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SHAKING YOU /POS
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candied-cae · 1 year
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And Who Are We At The End Of The World? - Please, Be Gentle with My Breaks - III
Chapter 18/? - - - Read it on AO3
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20]
Word Count: 10,480
Summary: There's a difference between being broken and having a few breaks. But a lot of these kids and been dealt a lot of blows, and not just from physical monsters of the Upside Down. There's still a lot of stuff hidden just under the surface that they haven't been able to show just yet.
TW: Depictions of PTSD - Triggering events and flashbacks
More ST Fics
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Friday morning - the morning Family Video was set to re-open its doors and begin taking business again - had finally come.
It was a sunny morning. The kind that starts with birds chirping from the trees and the smell of coffee drifting from the kitchen. Robin and Steve had made plans to be at the store early, a few hours before opening, to eat breakfast together in the back office and take care of any possible final business that could come up. It was going to be a very good day. They'd decided that much.
Robin was still asleep and a little while away from starting that very good day when a noise that was less pleasant than birdsong rattled through her window.
It had been a week since the morning after the earthquake, and the construction crews had finally made their way to the suburbs near the Buckleys to take care of refortifying, structural concerns, and general repairs. One such house that required their attention, was the neighbor's from right behind them. The one that happened to be closest to the wall of Robin's room.
She was woken up when the racket started.
There was yelling, the workers shouting across distances and making their plans. Her neighbor's house had a lot of worry. She usually wouldn't mind the yelling that much. She could ignore it until Steve arrived to whisk her away. But she had been asleep and would've liked to stay that way. And all the noise outside made it impossible to fall back asleep. So she rolled out of bed and pulled her thin, red curtains closed, trying to block out just a little bit of the early morning sun.
It was about then that the foreman of the crew grunted with displeasure and came to a decision.
“Too much mess here. The whole foundation's got cracks in it, I don't like the way these wooden support beams are splinting, these warps in the flooring don't look good, and that roof damage is only going to get worse with bad weather. Call the homeowners. They can bitch about the facts all they want, but this house is going to be next with the demo team and need a complete reconstruction before anyone moves back in.”
Robin had already finished getting ready. She was washed up and dressed, and finally, the noise softened. Maybe they were done for the day. And she probably had another hour before Steve would be rolling around. So she dove back under her covers and tucked them in around her. Closing her eyes and drifting back off to sleep for just a little bit longer before she'd be taken away from her warm, comfy bed, and would be made to face the daunting trials of customer service.
Maybe forty minutes later, Robin was in that slippery state between sleep and awareness while the heavy machinery of a demolition team rolled down the street. All at once, those titans of force began to unmake the house right behind theirs. So close to where she peacefully slept. And the house did not go down easy.
Robin was startled awake in a red-tinted room, with the impossibly loud sound of destruction erupting from right behind her. The strength of it was rumbling the bed under her body, accompanied by the shriek of over-used and under-cared-for mechanical parts.
And all of it just sent her.
It felt like Thursday night. In the Upside Down. Where the red-tinted sky opened up above her, and the ground shook under her feet so hard she almost fell over. When the groans of an old house moved around her and filled up her ears. Until it all became echoes of screams instead.
Lucas's screams.
“Erica! Call for help!”
She felt it. She felt the fear again. Like it was all occurring to her for the first time.
Max was dead. Lucas was hurt. Eddie was going to die.
Her hands started shaking. She felt the sweat stick to the back of her neck, on her forehead under her bangs. Her arms and legs almost felt numb- or maybe they felt disconnected from her? They didn't feel right. Or useable.
She was frozen. And she tried to reason with herself. Thursday night was Thursday night. It was over a week ago. It all already happened, and she's supposed to be fine. She's in her room.
But as she looked around, none of it seemed familiar. It all looked foreign. Alien. It even started to look like the room was covered in vines, and dust, and cobwebs.
And she was alone. Steve and Nancy weren't there with her. By her side. Helping her run through the terror anyway.
She was alone.
A tear slipped down her cheek, and then one of the neighbor's walls went down. Everything shook even worse. And while she was petrified just a second ago, she was then thrown into urgency. She all but pushed herself out of the bed and backed up under the frame. In the little space between the floorboards and the box spring. She just tried to crawl further and further back, closing herself into something small and hidden.
Nothing bad should be able to find her under there.
She started crying harder.
Somewhere in it, her parents started asking questions. Asking if she wanted any breakfast before she left. Trying to make sure she was still up. Wondering why she wasn't answering. But none of it reached her. She just stared straight forward, trying desperately to cover her ears and make it stop. She just needed it all to stop. But all she felt was the tremble. And all she heard were the screams.
Her dad opened her door. He and her mom poured into her room and kneeled on the floor to find her down there under her bed. They tried talking to her. To figure out what was happening. None of them understood why it was happening.
Max was dead. Lucas was hurt. Erica was in danger. Eddie was going to die. Dustin was limping. Steve was bleeding.
Nothing was okay. And Robin was alone.
Steve's car rolled to a stop in front of the Buckleys. But Robin wasn't sitting, waiting for him on the stoop. She probably just woke up late and needed another minute, or two, to finish getting ready. They were going in early anyway.
Steve wasn't in any rush.
So he just sat in the driveway. Letting the radio play through “You're Much Too Soon” by Hall and Oats. But still, as the song ended and the host announced that The Cars would be playing next, Robin wasn't outside.
Which was starting to seem unusual. He'd never waited very long for her to run out. It's not like she was someone to go to a rager and be hungover the next morning. And there was no way she had something with Vickie that went so late she couldn't wake up. At least no way she wouldn't have mentioned it to him.
He wasn't sure what her deal was, but he still didn't really want to risk getting Mrs. Buckley's stink eye by knocking on the door. A person only makes that mistake once. So he shrugged to himself and honked his horn in two short bursts. To make sure she knew he was there. Not to sound passive-aggressive, but maybe she forgot what time they planned on leaving.
And in that dark space between what was happening and the memory playing over reality, Steve's car broke through.
Robin knew that beep.
From all the times she was already packed into his car after closing, and he was taking too long to lock the door to Family Video, so she'd lean over to the driver's seat and honk at him from his own car. From every time they'd gotten talked into running one or a couple of the kids somewhere, and they were taking their sweet time, so he'd honk at them. From any time someone peeled out past a stop sign in front of them, Steve would curse, ask how much they think his car is worth, and he'd honk at them because he couldn't expect an answer.
Robin knew the sound of Steve's Beemer.
Which meant Steve was there.
That was the only thing she could grasp and hold on to. Steve was there. Somewhere out of sight, but there. Steve was there, so she wasn't alone.
“Steve? STEVE?” she called for him. Past her parents that didn't fit the picture in front of her, she yelled for her best friend to fill in.
Just when Steve was really starting to wonder what was up, he saw Robin's father open the door.
“There's something wrong with her!” he shouted, looking more scared than grown-ups usually let him see.
And Steve didn't even think he'd ever run so fast for anything. Before he could even worry about what specifically could be wrong, before he could worry about the Buckleys not being his biggest fans, before he could worry about not technically having been invited inside their house - he was through the front door and following the sound of Robin's voice down the hallway to her room. Where her mother was crouched on the floor trying to reason with where Robin must've been under her bed.
He just shucked the jacket off his arms and scooted himself under there beside her.
“Hey. Hey, Rob. I'm here. It's me.”
She looked at him. And he made sense. As much as all of it didn't make sense, Steve being there with her while she felt terrified? That made sense.
Robin's fingers released a sweater that had been lost under her bed and instead grabbed onto the short sleeve of Steve's white shirt.
“Steve. Steve, it's- i- it's shaking. Everything is…”
“I know. I know, it is.” He nodded with her,” But, hey, I’m right here with you. Okay?”
There was barely enough room for the width of their bodies under there. But even so, Steve untucked his arm from beside him and pushed it into the space over Robin. He held her tight around her shoulders, her hand still twisted in the fabric of his shirt. She was probably going to stretch it out, but Steve wasn't even a little worried about it then.
“It's so loud…” she whispered, trying to cover up one ear without letting go of Steve.
“That's okay. That's okay, because…” Steve reached over to his discarded jacket. In the pocket was his walkman and one of his mixes he was keeping on him until he made the one specifically for Vecna. He slipped the headphones over her ears with a little difficulty, due to the angle and tight quarters. But after he got it on, he'd quickly sped through the first third of the tape, because ABBA's “Lay All Your Love On Me” should've been the fifth song on it.
He pulled her tighter against him while she listened to the music and spoke right into her hair,“ I’m right here. And I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”
She continued to cry.
Robin's parents just looked at the two in shock. They knew that they had gotten close, but they never imagined… Steve was the kid in town with a reputation for getting around. They always assumed there was something there, something he was chasing her for. They weren’t happy about it but figured - maybe just maybe - Steve Harrington got drawn into Robin’s refusal of his advances and it just made a game for him after they worked together at the mall.
But the way he was looking at her, it was love.
And not a romantic or lustful thing. It was just love in its purest form. Like they were two halves of the same person. Destined to link their arms together for the rest of their lives, despite whatever husband and wife they would get tied to down the road. It was something bigger than her parents understood.
But they were starting to.
Robin eventually stopped shaking so badly, and stopped crying so hard. Steve asked them if the construction crew could stop what they were doing. Even for just fifteen minutes. Just long enough to let Robin calm down some and get out from under the mattress and put some distance between them.
And the parents left them to each other. Somehow, they completely trusted that all Steve Harrington wanted to do was help their daughter feel better. When they told the crew that their kid was having something of a nervous breakdown, they were incredibly apologetic and immediately shut off all the equipment. Mrs. Buckley brought out some lemonade for them as a thank-you while they killed a little time.
“You doing better, Rob?” Steve asked when she looked like she was coming back to herself.
The room didn't look so scary anymore. Her mind wasn't covering her floor and walls in leathery tentacles. She couldn't hear kids screaming and crying in her ears. She knew Max was safe in the hospital, and Eddie was right next to her recovering. Lucas, Erica, Dustin, and Steve all made it out with bumps and bruises, but they were fine.
Robin pushed the headphones off of one of her ears and nodded to Steve, wiping off her face,” Yeah. Yeah.”
“Do you wanna get up?” he offered.
She thought about it. But her legs still felt like jello, and she still had an icky feeling making her hair stand up. It didn't look like the Upside Down anymore, but she was still scared it would again as soon as she made it to her feet.
“Not yet? It feels safer down here. Closed in, nothing can surprise me.”
“Okay. We’ll stay down here for a few minutes.”
Robin shook her head. She felt silly. “We’re going to be late to work,” she told him.
“Fuck work.” Steve remarked, and she laughed through a sniffle,” I’m the manager now. I say Family Video can re-open tomorrow.”
But then the worry hit her again,“ But, Steve, if I stay here all day and they start again, I-”
Steve just shrugged against her shoulder,“ We can go wherever. Wherever you want.”
And she relaxed again.
They got her up off the floor, splashed some water on her face, and got packed into the car after Robin hugged her parents. Told them she was going to be fine.
They blared music from his car and stopped back at his house first to grab snacks. She met the Antonovs while Steve stole a boombox and a handful of cassettes from his room. And then they made quick goodbyes and were off again. Steve figured a good place to go, to get away from everything, was that junkyard past the quarry.
They drove up the gravel road, around the big open water, into the break of the trees, and out through the clearing of abandoned cars and scrap.
“So, this is where Dustin took you, huh?”
She'd wondered what kind of place made for a demodog trap and makeshift fortress to hunker down in. Not enough to actually ask for a visit to a place that screamed serial killer central, but she'd wondered about it.
“Yeah. Except we came from the tracks and walked the whole way from town.” Steve told her.
Robin crinkled up her nose at the idea,“ If you're gonna bring me to the edge of the world, I'm not walking there. Only way you're getting me all the way out here is if I'm riding in style.” She leaned back in the seat, popped her feet up on the dash, and closed her eyes. Like she was trying to become the picture of luxury.
Steve just smiled softly and hummed,“ Of course, you are.”
The Beemer was parked and the two climbed out together. Robin's first instinct was to comment on the mess. The broken glass and the dented-up metal. Steve pretended it was all damage from the demodogs. She didn't know any better to push it. But they sat down in an open spot. Dug into the leftovers of Claudia's brownies while they just talked and looked out over the hill.
And then Robin brought the conversation back to something she considered to be of high importance.
“So, what's the plan with Nancy?”
Steve completely turned away from her, echoing her question like that'd make her drop it,“ What's the plan?”
And, as if she didn't even hear the annoyance in his tone, she agreed,“ Yeah. What's the plan? What sort of idea do we have on the docket?”
“Robin. Her boyfriend is sleeping on my couch right now.” Steve reminded her.
“Which is why I want to know the plan. Situation's gotten complicated.” Robin crossed her legs and popped a bit of brownie into her mouth.
But he declared,“ There is no plan.”
And she almost sounded disappointed. "Steve.”
“You guys keep trying to open that door - and maybe you could entertain the idea while Jonathan wasn't around - but it's different now.”
“You guys?” Robin pointed out,” Who else has been talking about you and Nancy?”
Steve muttered,“ Munson might've said something stupid…”
Her eyes widened,“ See! Multiple people-”
“Just the two-”
“Multiple people think there's something there! So why aren't you going for it? We got your confidence back, you're acting like the hot commodity you are again. Don't get why you're wasting time.”
He tried to redirect her,“ Why don't we focus on the Vickie front?”
She argued,“ The Vickie front is fine!”
“Oh? So what are the two of you then?” Steve pressed.
Robin got quiet before eventually saying,” I don't know.”
“That doesn't sound very fine.”
Which thankfully seemed to pull her away from Nancy Wheeler.
“How do I broach that topic then, Steve?” she asked.
“Well, you're gonna wanna get all dressed up, look real nice, lean in close, and then you're going to ask her where this thing is going.”
“And if she doesn't think 'this thing' is going where I want it to go? Then I've just outed myself and started the countdown until I become the town pariah.”
“You just gotta be covert enough it's safe, and direct enough you get a clear answer,” Steve advised. Which sounded like an impossible balance to strike.
And Robin was at least a little bit annoyed he'd even say such a thing. “Oh? Is that all?“
“That's all it takes!”
“Then…” Robin leaned over and got all in Steve's space before she put on a husky voice,“ Where do you think this Nancy thing is going?”
Steve cried out “Shut up!” and shoved her shoulder. They both fell into boisterous laughter while they lay out on the grass. Leaving behind the horrors of that morning and knowing full well that Family Video wasn't opening by 10 am as they planned.
Karen got a phone call that morning from Theresa. Robin's mother mentioned that they'd had a rough morning at their house, and asked if Karen had noticed Nancy going through anything after the earthquake. Seeming like she was reliving it at all, or stuff like night terrors? Karen truthfully told her that she hadn't seen any of that from Nancy, but what she kept to herself was that their kids didn't just face an earthquake. Karen knew they'd seen more than they needed to.
And with her soft heart, knowing that Robin got really shaken up and quickly left with Steve that morning to get away from the ruckus, Karen decided she'd pay the two of them a visit. Offer a little kindness and remind them that - even if they couldn't turn to their own parents for help - she was on their team now. Like what Nancy had said the night she found out what was going on.
So Karen baked a batch of fresh cookies in the oven. Her oldest daughter was pouring over her school work, the new and the old, and paying extra attention to her essays. Karen slid a plate on the dining room table to Nancy as they came out. Still warm and gooey, practically falling apart as Karen warned her to let them cool a minute so she didn't burn herself. And then she headed out the door. Packing herself and her Tupperware container away while she drove over to Steve's place. Where surely the two of them would have gone after Robin's fright.
The oddest thing was, as she came up to the front porch and knocked on the door, it wasn't either of them that answered. Nor was it Hopper or Joyce, or any of the kids. Instead, there was a man she'd never met before. A very attractive man, for the record, wearing a pretty skimpy pair of cut-off jeans that were halfway up his thighs and what probably used to be a tee shirt until the sleeves were snipped off to the shoulder and the bottom cropped until it almost showed skin.
Which was a little out of the usual considering Spring just started and nobody else in Hawkins would be dressing like that for weeks, if not months. Just wasn't warm enough for it yet. But there this mystery man was, looking like he was ready to host a Summer cookout and work on his poolside tan.
He pursed his lips under a crisp mustache and asked, with a strong, deep voice and accent,” Yes?”
“Uh, yes, I- uh- I’m Karen. Wheeler. Mike and Nancy’s mom.” she explained. Remembering herself after a moment and shifting the cookies onto one arm, reaching out with her other hand to shake his. Friendly, polite, and mannerly. Maybe a little more bashful than she should be.
He smiled kindly and shook it with a firm grip,” Dmitri. I am Mikhail’s father.”
“Oh, yes, I’d heard- that, um, that we had someone new coming into town.” she made the connection and thought to herself that she was being silly. Stuttering and sputtering for no reason.
“Ah, yes.” Dmitri nodded,” Once your government sends me some papers, I may move out of this boy’s home. Maybe then we will even be neighbors, yes?”
Karen smiled and agreed,” Yeah, maybe.”
It was quiet for only a moment before he wondered,“ Was there something…?”
“Oh! Yes! Sorry, um, I assumed Steve and Robin would be around. Wanted to drop off a snack for them.” she motioned to the container she held.
“That is very kind of you. They are out, but I can put it in the kitchen.” he offered.
She handed the sweets over with a simple “thank you,” but she didn't exactly want to run back home so quickly. And she thought it was only reasonable to try and get to know him. Being another adult on the end-of-the-world team and all.
“How- how are you and your son adjusting? To Hawkins? I'm sure it must be a big change.”
“It is fine,” he assured her. “Mikhail wishes he were in school. Also wishes he had his own room, but that will change in time. We are fine. Much better away from where we were. And I, myself, am most enjoying all the time free from work and the warm temperature.”
Dmitri remarked on it all with a smile. Pale, blue eyes shining under the midwest sun. Which must've been a stark difference compared to the snow-covered country he'd called home just days before. He really seemed happy to have completely turned his whole life around.
It wasn't like he had much of a choice. By the sound of it from Murray, Hop, and Joyce, he had to leave. There wasn't anything left for him or his son in the Soviet Union after he was imprisoned, escaped, and every person at his workplace - convicts and guards alike - was killed. He was a renegade, no matter what. So he had to pack up his kid and him, board a sketchy helicopter, and come with the people he'd become loose companions with. Chasing “hope of a better life” and “the American dream” as far as it'd take him.
It sounded terrifying for Karen to imagine putting her own family through. But here, the man stood. In the door of a teenage boy's home because it had a spare room to borrow. In a country he didn't know. Without a clue about what exactly was going to happen in the coming days, weeks, months, or years. If they made it that long.
And he smiled under the sunshine. Because he was away from work, and they had nice weather in Hawkins, Indiana. And that was enough to be happy about.
“Really?” she asked him.
“Oh, yes. Certainly. If I could spend the rest of my days like this, though in a home of my own, I would. Waking up early, making food, spending time with Mikhail and sending him off, enjoying this lovely weather… it is all I need.”
Karen had to laugh to herself. It sounded like the life of a housewife this man was wishing for. And she knew it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. It wasn't as easy or as fulfilling as it seemed like it was when a person summed up in one clean sentence.
“Your son must be better behaved than mine.” she joked.
But Dmitri's eyebrow raised, and he leaned in closer to drop his voice,“ You think too highly of Mikhail. He is still a handful.” He sat back and mentioned,” Though, I suspect I am lucky to just have the one. You manage two.”
“Three, actually.” she corrected,” I have my youngest, Holly, too.”
“Three, then. Miss Wheeler, you are a mother of considerable strength, to do so on your own.”
“Oh, I’m not on my own. My husband, Ted, he-” Karen stumbled for a second. Not exactly sure how much she could speak to her husband's adequacy as a father. Not when it came to the softer parts of childcare. “Well, he supports us. Has a good job and brings home the bacon.”
“But you manage the home and children?” the man restated.
“Uh, yes, I guess, he mostly catches the bills, and I manage the house. And the kids. The day-to-day. If you want to look at it like that.”
“Then that makes you strong,” he argued.
Karen just averted her eyes and brushed her hair off her shoulder. “You’d be the first to think so.”
“Americans do not think their mothers are strong?”
“It’s-” She didn't get very far.
“They should. I believe you are very strong woman, Miss Karen Wheeler.” Dmitri said with full sincerity.
She couldn't help but notice he didn't correct to “Mrs.” even though she brought up her marriage. But it was nice to hear the rest of that sentence too. She was a strong woman. Seriously spoken, because it was no laughing matter.
Karen also couldn't help but ask a question she's wondered a few times by herself.
“Was it easy? To work and take care of your son on your own?”
It seemed a little rude to ask. She'd only known the man for a few minutes, and she only knew he was a widower or some kind of divorcee because it was sort of the elephant in the room. You don't think to grab the kid and not the mom if everything is going well. So he was in the parenting game on his own. And maybe sometimes Karen wondered if she could do something like that.
“Absolutely not.” he answered honestly,” My wife passed many years back. And my job it- it kept me away from home a lot. Only way we got through it was our sweet neighbor watching him when I could not. I only hope I may find way to tend to him more now.”
“You’d want to be a house-husband?” she asked, surprised.
“If I could? Absolutely. Just be a little… little trophy for the Missus to show off while I take care of the home and my boy.” he mused. “Sounds like a fine life to me.”
Karen only let out about half a laugh. “You’re a very interesting man, Dmitri.”
“What? You do not agree?”
“I can see the appeal, from the outside view. I’ve been in the housewife spot for a while now. It can be nice at times, but I definitely miss…” her eyes wandered,” the freedom.”
“I take it you have a passion then? One you put away to take care of your family?” Dmitri leaned against the door frame. His exposed bicep squished against woodgrain, though Karen tried not to notice, and he watched her carefully. Listening.
She admitted to him,“ Yeah, I did. Once upon a time. Many, many years ago.”
“Well, I hope you find it again, Miss Karen.” There it was with the “Miss” again- “Maybe your kids straighten up and give you time to chase it? Or your husband takes over some responsibilities of the house?”
“Oh, that’ll be the day.”
“You think Mr. Wheeler is not strong enough for the job?”
“He does his job.” Karen had to defend her husband. She began to count on her fingers,” Provides the roof over our heads, food on the table-”
But this Dmitri wasn't having it. With one hand, he gently closed his grip around hers. Only enough pressure to stop her, so he could say,“ If your husband leaves you so dissatisfied, then I do not believe he does his job very well.”
And Karen could feel the heat in her cheeks go hotter. He was close. And touching her hands. And serious but not afraid to laugh. And sweet in the way he talked about his kid. And attentive to her in a way no one has been since she and Ted first met.
It swelled something in her chest that scared her.
She smiled politely, and pulled her hands back,“ Sorry to have taken up so much of your time. I wasn't planning on more than a quick drop-off. But I’m happy to hear you’re both settling in. Feel free to help yourselves to the cookies as well.”
“Thank you,” he said, smoothly. No hint of dismay as she backed out. And then he added,” But it was no bother to speak with a beautiful woman on a nice day. Especially if she's brought over her own baking.”
In a moment of bravery, Karen agreed.
“It was no bother speaking to you either. I’ll see you again sometime.”
“Until then, Miss Karen. To your free time and the rise of house-husbandry.”
And Mr. Antonov stayed at the door while Karen returned to her car. He popped open the top and swiped himself a cookie in the wait. Watching as she opened the door and slid into the driver's seat. He only closed the front door of Steve's house once he'd seen the engine turn over fine. Making sure she'd have no problem getting home.
A length of care just beyond what was necessary.
It'd been a long, long time since Karen felt like anyone had extended that attention toward her.
Not that it mattered much. She was a married woman. A housewife. A stay-at-home mom. And Dmitri didn't convey much confidence that she was able to be anything else anymore. Not with three children to look out for. Even if Nancy was going to be off to college soon, Mike still had three years left. Hell- Holly was only six.
She needed to get back home.
Get back to what she knew how to do.
Time passed by in the junkyard. The sun rose up and eventually hung high in the sky overhead. Steve and Robin nearly emptied the last of Claudia's brownies. They were probably ready for some real food soon. And to get back to civilization.
But, for the moment, they just lay out on the ground next to each other.
Trying not to think about all the dirt getting into their hair and rubbing into the back of their clothes.
But Robin finally felt like herself again.
“Thank you,” she said to him. Her best friend. Who sat with her through the whole thing. Even though it snuck up on them out of nowhere, and they've never dealt with anything like it themselves.
“For?” he asked her.
She filled in,“ For being there for me.”
“Rob,” Steve rolled over onto his side to look at her,” I always will be. You know that.”
Robin nodded,“ I know. I just…” she started to explain,” didn’t realize it could get that bad. Nothing ever hit me like that after last summer. Nothing was ever similar enough to what happened that I just- I don’t know. But then I was just in my room, and I looked around, and it was just like Thursday night. Like some amalgamation of my bedroom and the Creel house, and the sounds were just- ”
Steve put his hand on hers where she'd started mindlessly ripping grass up by the roots.
“I know. But we’re fine. We’re fine.” he assured her.
“Yeah. We are.”
“So we’re feeling better now?”
“Yeah. We’re feeling better now.” Robin squeezed his hand.
“All the way better, or is there still something you need to be all the way there?”
She chuckled and smiled up at the bright blue sky. A big toothy smile. The kind her mother would've told her to reign in if they were taking family pictures. But the gentle fondness of Steve Harrington could be funny when he overdid it. Like a mother hen checking on his little chickadees over and over again.
And Steve might've been thinking about cruising by a drive-thru to finish off the comfort, but Robin had another solution in mind to settle any lingering anxiety.
“Well, if you’re offering… you know what my favorite thing ever is…”
And that was all the leading she had to do. Steve's eyes narrowed at her. But he didn't resist much.
“… Fine. Since you had a shitty morning.”
And then Steve went to his cassette player and dropped in “Robin’s Mix.” A tape he'd put together some time ago that always got the most runtime when its namesake was with him. It only took seconds for the sounds of ABBA's “Dancing Queen” to come out through the speakers. The first song on it. Robin stood, dusted herself off, and joined Steve by the hood of his Beemer where he'd propped the player. Fully set on turning the patch of seclusion into their own private dance floor.
And as the Swedish singers came in, Steve was quick to mime a microphone of his own. Directing every single word to his very best friend. Just like they had for her birthday.
“You are the dancing Queen, Young and sweet, Only seventeen! You can dance, You can jive, Having the time of your life, Ooooo~ See that girl, Watch that screen, Digging the Dancing Queen!”
They spun around each other. Robin shook out her hair, dropped her shoulders, and grooved side-to-side. Put her hands up in the air and swept them around in smooth motions. Steve was jumping around, posing, and kneeling to bask up at her. Like she was a real celebrity.
They probably put too much energy into it. If anyone serious was looking at them and compared their moves to the music at hand, they'd probably have said they didn't fit together. But to the two of them, it was how the song was meant to be danced to. It's what was right when everything came down to just Steve and Robin. No one else on the planet was invited.
And just being Steve and Robin was the easiest thing most days.
They made it all the way through the song before Robin nearly collapsed against him in giggles. He put away the phony mic, tossing it somewhere behind him to catch her before they both ended up on their asses. “One Way Or Another” began to fire up, but neither was listening too carefully.
“Thank you,” Robin said, almost out of breath.
“You already said that.” Steve pointed out.
“I know. But seriously,” she grabbed his hand and squeezed it like it was the most tangible lifeline she's ever had,” Thank you. For being my favorite person in the whole world.”
He squeezed her hand back, just as much love expressed in the simple act,” Thank you for being mine.”
Eventually, Robin stood back up on her own two feet. And they decided on that drive-thru meal to offset all the sugar and chocolate they'd had in lieu of a balanced breakfast. And interestingly enough, they also decided on going back to Family Video anyway.
They had no plans to open. More so just get out from under the sun before one of them (Robin) got sunburnt. Maybe even avoid the mosquitoes for the rest of the day. And Robin's Mix played through Steve's stereo the whole drive.
It might've only been Friday, and the nurses might've said they wanted to hold on to Eddie through Tuesday, but he was getting stir-crazy.
He hated, hated, hated just sitting there on that bed. He wasn't supposed to get up and move around too much, lest he desire to face Nurse Tracey's wrath. But it was torture. The tv was no adequate entertainment, and it killed him to know that everyone else had something to do. Some way they were healing or fixing things.
Just “getting better” wasn't a good enough assignment.
Not when there was so much at stake. Not when he was laying down right next to Max, who was stuck where he'd gotten out of. They told him it wasn't the same. But it should've been. They both died, and El brought them both back, and they both got to a hospital. But she wasn't awake.
And it pissed him off so much.
She played decoy, and so did he. And they both did their parts a little too well. But she didn’t get up after.
Wayne dropped in and ate breakfast with him on his way to work. Expressed his sorrow about Eddie's ring. Eddie's mom's ring. His fingertips drifted to his right ring finger where he'd always worn it. Not on the left, because that was the spot dedicated to his own engagement one day.
He missed it. The black gem, cut in too many facets that it caught the light too much. It didn't have the same mystique as domed, smooth onyx that seemed more like a void set in silver than a stone. He'd looked at some in pawn shops and understood the appeal.
But as much as his mom's ring didn't exactly fit the idea of what his aesthetic "should" be, it was better.
And it was gone.
He didn't cry when Wayne mentioned it. Didn't cry when Wayne said he was going to ask around, keep an eye out, and look wherever he could think to. Didn't ruin it for him by saying," I know I wore it into battle. I fucking kissed it before climbing up a twisted version of our trailer and starting my set. So if it's gone, it's gone in another dimension. And, honestly, it was probably eaten by a demobat, given how much they bit at me. So it had to be fucked up for good after sitting in dead monster stomach acid all this time."
No. Eddie just smiled at his uncle. Told him thanks for everything. Said he was going to make it up to him with a spaghetti night when they settled in a new place to call their home again. Wayne smiled and told him not to forget the garlic bread.
"You know that's the best part." he laughed.
Wayne's eyes caught on his watch, and it was time to go. He laid a hand on his boy's shoulder, kissed him on his forehead, and told him to just keep getting better. Try not to worry about anything in the meantime.
Eddie didn't promise him anything.
He finished his re-read of The Hobbit. Sniffled at the end like he always did. He looked over old notes and put together new ones for a campaign. The boys, including Josie and Erica, and even Will, all came by. It was nice.
It wasn't a very complex storyline he'd thought up, but for a one-shot, it would do. The gang of nine players packed around his bed was given the task of sneaking into a masquerade party held in a castle. The queen had received word that her daughter was in danger, but she didn't know who it was. It could've even been a member of their own royal guard. So she'd hired the band of adventurers to make sure the princess would be safe. The hard part was, she'd survived an insane labor of nine. Yup, nonuplets. So there were nine identical princesses to keep an eye on and protect while they tried to find the bad guy. And just as fate would have it, one of them died.
It was only thanks to Will's impeccable notetaking that they figured out it was not actually Daphne in the pale green dress, but Rowena who'd swapped their clothes and taken the place of her sister. A scheme worked up with an assassin she'd fallen in love with to steal the title of "eldest daughter" and have the first claim to the throne. She had been the youngest of nine, after all, she was far down the list before she'd see a crown.
But they solvest the mystery. Earned a good chunk of change from an incredibly distraught royal family who not only lost one child, but a second too. Everyone cheered for each other when they got the confession and defeated the enemies in combat. Tucked away the characters with mentions that it might be nice to dust them off and revisit the theme again another time. Make a regular habit of these Sherlock Holmes-like mysteries dipped in a little bit of fantasy flair and ass-kicking to close it all out.
It was fun. Mostly. But holding the session around his bed, where he felt like he was some weak little thing he didn't think he was… it hurt Eddie in a way he wasn't expecting. It itched against all the other feelings he was holding on to. And he didn't like it.
He was feeling cagey.
So, after they all said their goodbyes, he made a break for it.
Or, more exactly, he told Tracey he had to get out of there and begged for any way to make it happen. She was not happy. Looked at him down her hooked nose, through her thick glasses, from under crumbling mascara that rimmed her eyes. A scornful expression like she was trying to intimidate him into pulling up his covers and saying how much he actually liked it there.
But he stood his ground. And she admitted, him being a legal adult and all, that he could fill out an Against Medical Advice form - meaning he couldn't sue if he fucked himself up for leaving early - and he'd be free. So he asked her, very nicely, to fetch such a document for him. And she did. She still pestered him about calling or coming in the minute he felt bad. To watch himself for a high temperature, upset stomach, sweating or chills, bleeding, puss, or extra sensitivity around the injuries. So he swore up and down he would.
And he made it out.
His car was still at Wayne's hotel, wherever that was exactly, so Eddie just hopped the bus and made it downtown. He didn't have an exact plan, but he was not going to go home. That trailer was practically a fallout zone and wouldn't make for much of a shelter at that point. And he also didn't want to even figure out where Wayne was pitched up at. Because he was bound to go stir crazy there just the same as he had in the hospital.
He ended up on the idea to stop by a certain video store to annoy a certain pair of employees and whatever poor souls decided to shop there on the day Eddie Munson became a truly free man.
“What? Am I not pretty enough for you, Robin?” Steve asked.
His voice dripped with offense, like the discussion at hand was the cruelest thing anyone had ever said to him. They'd been making plans for Robin to ask Vickie on something more obviously a date. To help bridge that gap between girl friends and girlfriends. Robin had suggested something more like what she and Steve do anyway, getting together at someone's house when there are no parents home for a movie. But that also painted what they do as being inherently romantic and she gagged. Now, Steve was on some tirade about being a wonderful date and she should be so lucky.
He leaned against the shop counter and struggled to pop his hip out in a way that could even come close to feminine. But none of the shapes were there, and Robin could only look at him with pity. Not an admission of defeat.
“As much as I love you, Steve…” she tried to soften the blow,” You already know the key thing keeping us apart is my particular interest in…”
”Oh, right.” Steve's tone dropped, and he cupped his hands on his chest as if it was the first time the thought had occurred to him,” Boobies. I don’t have those for you.”
The comment caused Robin to crinkle her nose in a sharp cringe,” Stop calling them that!”
“Why?! It’s what they are! Not my fault you can’t handle the proper word for them!” he pushed.
“ANYWAY!” she tried to take control of the conversation,” I like them a lot, so stop pressing it. It's starting to get really sad.”
“Alright, alright, I'm hearing you, but what if I turned like this.” Steve turned around and arched his back as he shyly looked over his shoulder at Robin. Trying to pull off a more pin-up pose. Like, because she couldn't see his front, she could forget he was missing the pair features they both enjoyed so much. Like it made him girly enough at all.
Robin tried to hold back her snickers at his display. Steve closed his eyes and shook out his hair behind him for effect. He put on a pretend sultry voice before asking her,“ Does this do it for you?”
“What did I just walk in on?” Eddie froze in the open doorway.
As Steve's brain registered that the question didn't come from Robin, he snapped open his eyes and jumped out of the pose. Some kind of less-than-manly shriek flew up from his mouth, and all too quickly he practically tumbled over the countertop and crossed his arms over his chest to cover himself behind it. As if he was even topless in the first place. He wasn't, but he still felt pretty exposed.
“Can't you read the sign?!” Steve griped. A pointer finger shot out to where the “closed” side of the board was clearly facing out the door to any foot traffic on the sidewalk.
Robin was less focused on Steve's cause for concern and complaint. Instead, she joyfully exclaimed,“ Eddie! You’re out of the hospital!”
“Yup, doc declared me as less than ‘healthy as a horse’ but not likely to bleed out at any moment, so I've been released on good behavior for bedrest at my own home while the wounds, you know, do their thing and scar over.”
“If it’s bedrest, shouldn’t you be, ya know… in a bed? Resting?” Steve questioned him. Maybe a little pointedly, but hey, he was allowed to feel a little sour over Eddie walking in on his and Robin's nonsense. That stuff's supposed to be private.
“Didn’t really feel like hitching a ride across town for a quiet hotel room packed with Wayne's and I's stuff while he finishes the rest of his shift.” Eddie excused,” Plus I’d miss out on whatever the hell all this is. So I’ll ask again; what did I just walk in on?”
“Steve’s just really sad that he’s not pretty enough for me.” Robin mused teasingly. Figuring that context was innocuous enough for the present company.
“Oh, man. Tough break, Princess Harrington. My condolences.” Eddie said, putting one hand over his heart and the other on Steve's shoulder like he actually meant to console the man's wounded pride.
Steve swatted away the gesture immediately. And then he decided something new about Eddie being a member of the party.
”You two are insufferable!” he said with a pair of aggressive finger-pointing,” I don't like this duo! I don't need the two of you ganging up on me! It's unfair!”
“Wait till we get Dustin in on the action too. Three on Steve seems like fine odds.” Eddie added just to see the way it made Steve twist up his face. He even started getting a little red!
Through it all, Eddie and Robin found some kind of understanding between the two of them. An understanding of how fun it was to push all of Steve's buttons. And somehow, they still secured invites to his place for dinner. Maybe it was their wicked pair of sad eyes, maybe it was more of that “feeling way too bad for everyone” gene he's got, but Steve let them both pile into his car while he made his way home.
Eddie met their European guests, shook more hands, and made more small talk. And by the end of the meal, Steve would say he narrowly survived the onslaught of teasing. Steve ran Robin back to her place and stayed parked right outside until she buzzed him on the walkie and said she wasn't having a panic attack in her room again and he needed to clear out before someone accused him of stalking. Eddie and Steve laughed, and as the driver wondered where he was sending Eddie off, he admitted he didn't know.
Still hadn't even called his uncle to find out which spot across town he was camped up in.
And somehow… that conversation ended with another invitation to Steve's house. That time, one to spend the night. Eddie was eager to accept. A bustling house of kids and the most random assortment of adults sounded like the exact opposite of falling asleep to the sound of his heartbeat beeping on a machine next to him, and Max's a few feet away.
And thanks to an already stacked dance card - the Byers and Co. on the couch, Joyce and Hop sharing the master, Murray laid claim to the first guest room, the Antonovs in the other - there was really only one place with any spare room without tossing one the injured men to the floorboards.
And that was to partner up and share Steve's bed with him.
It started with Eddie trying to break the ice. Pointing out the grid pattern painted on Steve's walls and hung up on his curtains. Mentioning that it was nothing like how he imagined the King of Hawkins slept. It looked more like a cage than anything else.
Steve shrugged, agreed with the sentiment, and tried to focus on grabbing his own pajama options and getting the night over with. As awkward as it was shaping up to be. But drawing attention to his closet, drew attention to the desk and chair right in front of it. And the denim vest hanging on the back of that chair, which rightfully belonged to Steve's most recent guest.
“There it is!”
Steve turned around and followed Eddie's eyes to the battle vest he'd accidentally borrowed for too long.
“Oh, right! Sorry.” he picked it up from its perch. “Didn't mean to steal it. Just forgot it was there a little.”
“Wow. I let you dress yourself in my battle vest - watching out for your delicate purity so that it might not be besmirched - and you forget about such a deep moment we shared?” Eddie lamented the tragedy. Wondering to himself if it would be too much to try and force a tear.
“I didn't mean I forgot about it like that. Just- I was trying to figure out what to do with it, and I forgot to give it back.” Steve quickly handed it over,” Here.”
Eddie barely looked at the item before he asked,“ What to do with it? That sounds a little spooky. Did you have some kind of black magic spell in mind that you needed it for? You're not gonna steal a lock of my hair after I fall asleep, right?”
“No. Absolutely not. I, just, I was wearing it while I was all gross and sweaty and bleeding, so I figured the same rules as borrowing gym clothes applied, and I should wash it before I gave it back.” Steve tried to explain,” But you have so much stuff on it I didn't want to get ruined, and I wasn't sure how to go about it, and everything has been so insane all the time-”
“I get it. Worry not, Stevie.” Eddie tried to release him from whatever pressure he put on the idea. “Plus you don't really wash a battle vest. It's kinda supposed to go through hell and come out the other side with some authentic grime.”
“But another guy's blood and sweat? That's pretty extreme.” Steve commented. But his face said he leaned more towards 'nasty' than just 'hardcore.'
“You don't understand the culture. That's okay.”
“Alright. Well, then I guess my dilemma turned out for the best.” Steve ducked back into his closet.
Eddie more carefully examined his vest for all the wear and tear it saw. None of the patches or pins looked like they were in danger, but there were some new loose threads he could think about playing with. As he looked it over, he commented with a chuckle,“ Yeah, if you wanna uselessly panic about other stuff and wind up saving the day through inaction, there's the Vecna guy I don't know if you've heard about. I think those magic powers could really speed things along and get us all to summer break in one piece.”
Steve quickly turned out of the hanging garments and urged Eddie,“ Don't let Murray hear you strategize, or he'll barge in and spend an hour actually trying to make a plan out of it.”
He said it so seriously Eddie couldn't even get a response ready while Steve slinked out of the room to go across the hall. To change into the jammies and take care of his nightly routine in the comfort and privacy of his own bathroom. And before Eddie knew it, he was left alone in Steve Harrington's room. Sitting crisscross on the edge of his bed, a pile of denim in his lap, and far too much awareness of how fresh their friendship really was.
The rest of the house had gotten pretty quiet. They'd all turned in for an earlier evening after a long afternoon of work at Hop's cabin and some folks still adjusting their internal clocks to Hawkins time. A big, big house, packed with people, and yet there wasn't much noise.
Steve came back to his room just after a few minutes. He tossed his clothes from the day in a dirty laundry hamper and sat on the other side of the bed. Pushing down the covers before he swung his legs up under them. Eddie followed suit. Standing up to put his vest back on the desk chair for the time being, and climbed into the bed next to his roomie for the night.
And then Eddie and Steve were left to each other. In Steve's bed. Laying still as statues to get some well-deserved rest.
And it was nerve-racking. All of Eddie Munson's nerves were racked. He couldn't help thinking about how the whole situation was so far off the map for him a few weeks ago. On the 22nd of March, Eddie Munson held a broken glass to his neck, and everything's been so strangely on the up and up since. Minus the whole almost-dying part. They'd been forging a bond, a weird one, given such a distinctly separate history. But there they were. Having a sleepover in the famed King's bedroom.
And it wasn't any easier for Steve to deal with. It shouldn’t have been a big deal. It shouldn’t do or mean anything to him. Steve's done this sort of thing with Robin tons of times. Falling asleep next to someone you’re not attracted to should be easy and simple. But it wasn't.
Like, with Robin, they were both allowed to stretch their limbs out in all directions and hug the night away before they tried to kick one another off the bed. But, with Eddie, they were both practically on the edges of the mattress with their backs to each other so they wouldn't accidentally touch or even look at one another. And Steve wasn’t falling asleep. Instead, he felt like he couldn’t move without bothering Eddie.
What if his stitches were still super sore? What if he was lying about the vest and was actually bothered about the condition it was in? What if he was mad about his mom's ring?
And all of a sudden, Eddie started talking.
“You didn’t, by the way.”
Which didn't exactly make any sense as the first thing either of them had said in almost thirty minutes.
“What?”
“Stomp on me.” he clarified.
And it didn't immediately click. But after a second, Steve remembered what he said while Eddie was still in the coma. The part about “I was a bully,” and “I hope I didn't bully you,” but “I wouldn't really remember,” and “Tommy called it stomping on the ants” like that excused any of it. So that was the stomping Eddie was thinking about.
“Oh… so you…“
“Heard that bit?” Eddie finished for him. “Yeah. When our girlie woke me up in my head, some stuff outside started coming through. When there were a lot of you in the room, I couldn’t really follow any of it or understand what you were saying. But you stopped by on your own. Said that bit. It was easy to hear then.”
“Sorry. I honestly didn’t think you’d catch any of it.” Steve tucked his hands in closer to his face. More thankful than anything else that they couldn't see one another for this conversation.
And yet, Eddie joked,“ You planned to waste such a moving monologue on deaf ears? For shame, Harrington, for shame.”
“I just-” he tried again,” I’m sorry-“
But the other wouldn't hear it. “I just said you didn’t do it. Alright? Nothing to waste ‘sorry’ on.”
“But I must have, at some point.” Steve reasoned.
Unsure why his idea was to argue that, no, no, Eddie, actually he did mistreat you, you must be mistaken, think harder. But Eddie didn't waver. His voice was sure and even. And he simply affirmed the fact.
“You didn’t.”
“But-“
“I’ll admit, I convinced myself once or twice that you orchestrated all of it. Sent out your legions of jocks and goons to carry out your dastardly demands for you while keeping your hands clean. But, I know now that I was wrong about that idea.”
And with a pang of guilt that gnawed at his ribs, Steve spoke quietly,“ But I know I’ve said it.”
Freak. He called him The Freak. He knew he did. Hell, he said it just weeks ago when Dustin invited him to the game. He knew that.
But Eddie didn't dwell on it. Didn't deem it the important part.
“Not to me. Not once did you shove my face in it.”
“I’m still sorr-“ but Steve felt a smack on his shoulder. Carefully, he looked over to see that Eddie was laying face up, no longer with his back to Steve. The wall of air between them was gone, in one way or another. So Steve shifted over, joining him in laying back until he was looking up at his ceiling too.
“And do you always do that?” Eddie asked as he tried to get comfortable.
“Do what? Apologiz-”
“Talk through movies?” Eddie interrupted, steering the conversation way out into the left field,” I mean, I was unconscious, but I still heard your whole commentary on Grease. Very strong opinions you have on that one.”
“Okay, Sandy did nothing wrong and shouldn't have had to 'compromise' with Danny at the end just because he lied about their relationship to his guys for points. Had her story been about actually wanting to be less of a goody-two-shoes for her own reasons-”
Eddie stopped him before he really got going,“ That is what I'm talking about. Seriously, dude? And you had something specific to say every minute of it. Was practically watching it with you even with my eyes closed because you'd remind me what beat we were on without fail.”
He bumped into Steve's shoulder with his own. Small laughs bubbled up. And the whole situation didn't feel so awkward and stilted anymore.
“Yeah, I guess.” Steve agreed with a smile,” Rob and I are usually pretty chatty when we watch ‘em together. I think I picked it up from her.”
“Oh, yeah, you’re a real Chatty Cathy, Steve Harrington.”
“That such a bad thing?”
Eddie paused to think on it. But quickly decided otherwise. “Nah. I wouldn’t say so. Felt way less lonely with someone talking.”
Steve felt some pride settle back into himself,“ Then you’re welcome.”
“Oh, great,” he groaned,” Now I went and gave you a big head about it.”
“I think most people would tell you I already had one.” Steve pointed out.
“A big, stupid head.” Eddie took a finger and poked Steve right on the side of his forehead. But before Steve could really say anything else, he tugged the blanket up and rolled over in the bed. His back was up again, but it didn't feel so insurmountable. It was comfortable.
“Go to sleep,” he commanded. As if he wasn't the one that started their discussion in the first place.
Steve rolled onto his own side,” You go to sleep.”
A comeback fit for a first grader. My, how the mighty have fallen. But sometimes falling could be a good thing. Brings a person back down to Earth. Reminds them of all the other people that didn't climb too tall on their high horse.
And that kind of falling, the kind that Steve Harrington did, didn't make him shatter into broken pieces on the ground.
Some parts of a person need to break. Explicitly so they can put themselves back together. And maybe the breaks were always going to be there. But maybe he'd be the better for it. Maybe they all would.
#Totally didn't forget to post this for a while what are you talking about I've never-#Yeah#I did. Sorry Tumblr I need to get back into the habit of checking in on y'all over here. Working on it.#Anyway#I hope this chapter was everything a person could hope for a more?#I really wanted to develop the trauma they're all kind of going through - Robin has some PTSD - Eddie has some survivors guilt - etc#And more importantly than just the pain they are going through is the reality that none of them are alone#Even if they feel alone for a little while. Someone always shows up. And they don't have to sit in it by themselves anymore.#Also some Karen Wheeler X Dmitri Antanov because when I'm not making her sapphic that's my fave guy for her <3#And I really really really love the scene in season 3 where Karen tells Nancy not to give up on what she wants from this life#And you can kind of see there's a little bit of longing as she says it to her. Pushing away maybe a little bit of regret what she didn't?#And I never see that stuff addressed - so I'm doing it#These characters are so complex goddamn#Also the lil D&D bit was heavily inspired by Drawfee's Drawtectives on YouTube and everyone should watch it#I dm-ed a similar session and it's so fun highly highly highly recommend#And I finally threw two character into an 'and there was only one bed' situation#After all my years of writing fanfiction I'm finally hitting first base#I have a lot of reasons on why I wrote that Steve didn't really bully Eddie in HS - I might make a whole discussion post about it#I know it's a pretty divisive headcanon - but after all the times I've poured over this show - this feels like the most accurate answer#Steve Harrington#Eddie Munson#Steddie#Steveddie#Steve x Eddie#Nancy Wheeler#Robin Buckney#Ronance#Robin x Nancy#The Fruity Four#Stranger Things
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daughter-of-sapph0 · 7 months
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I said it before in a previous rant, but I feel like this story needs repeating for no particular reason whatsoever.
my middle school was very small. there was only one class of 18 kids in the entire 6th grade. we had to deal with each other every single day. I only started this school in 6th grade, but some of these kids have known each other since pre-k. so when I joined, I was a stranger, an outcast, someone different. and having undiagnosed autism did not help at all.
one of my classmates was named Jacob. he was the only kid shorter than me. but he was an aggressive bully. every day, he'd grab me, slap me, pull my hair. he'd torment me physically, call me names, the whole shebang. typical bully stuff. there was never a reason for this, other than I was a new kid. I was a faggot. I was a downey. I was a retard. I was a sissy. I was a pussy. I was "the other". I think Jacob somehow knew I was trans and queer about five years before I did, and treated me as you'd expect.
every single day, I'd complain to my teachers and the principal. "Jacob is bullying me. he's hitting me, calling me names, harassing me, even after I tell him to leave me alone". and the responses I got did not help.
"just leave. walk away" gee, thanks. I'd love to. unfortunately I'm stuck in a classroom with him all day. unless you're gonna let me go home early, your advice is worthless.
"stop being a tattletale" and just let him continue to bully me? wow, thanks for being a supportive adult figure in my life...
and I'll never forget what my hardcore conservative catholic principal said to me. "if you don't want him to call you a faggot, then stop being a faggot".
in all of these situations of begging for help, not once did Jacob ever face consequences for his actions. even when I showed them the bruises and horrible notes he gave me. even when the harassment happened right in front of the teachers. the most he would ever receive is "hey, both of you, stop fighting!" even though it was always one sided and I never fought back.
until one day on the bus. he was in the seat behind me, poking my head, slapping me, trying to get my attention. I was already pissed that day, and Jacob was only making things worse. I told him to stop. repeatedly. to just leave me alone. but he didn't.
without thinking about it, I tried to swat away his hands. but I ended up brushing my hand against his face. he interpreted this as a slap. he immediately got off the bus at his stop and ran home crying.
that afternoon, my mom got a phone call saying that I was at risk of being expelled. apparently, Jacob had told his parents that I had beat him up, and his parents called the school.
in the end, because of my accidental unintentional "slap" that I had only done because I was angry and wanted to be left alone and stop being bullied, I was suspended for a week, forced to write a handwritten apology note to Jacob, and fell behind in my classes.
Jacob was never punished. he never faced consequences for his actions. he was always seen as the victim by adults. I was the aggressor since I was mad and complained about being bullied.
soon after this, I attempted suicide. I backed out, thankfully. but I can't stop thinking about how my life almost ended because no one cared about the harassment I faced.
being harassed, and having no one do anything about it, which causes you to get angry until you act a tiny bit irrational and upset, and suddenly you're punished much harder than your attackers ever were and ever will be.
I'm saying this for no reason at all. it totally doesn't apply to any real life situations happening right now on tumblr.
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kittyvolvox · 1 month
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how i think jackieshauna's instagrams would look <3
bonus thoughts:
jackie has literally never posted jeff. not once.
jackie posts very regularly almost once a month and literally 90% of it is her and shauna. people have started to ask her about her gf which she totally doesn't get.
i think jackie would follow a lot of fashion accounts. she'd also follow supermodels and tell herself it was for aspirational purposes. shauna gets mad asf when she sees jackie looking at those models accounts.
shauna barely posts and often forgets she has instagram. she prefers tumblr. she has a public account and a secret account.
the times shauna remembers her instagram, she always tries to post something cool, brooding and mysterious yet totally casual and authentic.
shauna put the quote in her bio first and jackie put it in hers to match bc she wants to match really badly. she also related to it and was really excited when shauna didn't take it down bc she usually hates matching.
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dotster001 · 1 year
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Labor Simulator
A sequel to Period Simulator *
Summary: Malleus/Crewel/Crowley/Rook/Vil/Idia x gn! Reader. The boys try a labor simulator.
Requested by @stygianoir and @ase-kjaere
3k follower Masterlist
* it was given a community label by the idiot Tumblr gods, and I don't know how to fight it. Just know, it's not a mature fic
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When you come in with the machine, he looks up from whatever it is he's doing, and fixes you with a death glare.
He didn't even try the period simulator, why would he try labor simulator?
Get the fuck out. He has to think about this relationship. Don't worry he won't actually break up with you over this. He just wants you to feel bad
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Look, you know labor is worse than cramps. But after he was such a champ with the period simulator, you think everything will be fine.
And you easily forget he's still a hot headed youth, not that much older than you, so you don't think much of it when he takes it from you, and puts it on immediately, telling you to do your worst.
You think you're the one who put him through this. But honestly, you're completely innocent. He's a silly, silly guy. With a big ego, and something to prove. Not to you, don't worry it's not your fault.
And he starts out fine. But by the end of it all, he's crying. Your cool, collected boyfriend is crying. So you turn it off, and hold him the way he holds you when you're sad. In the end, you end up feeding a part of him he didn't realize was starving.
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Unlike Crowley, he might actually break up with you. He is not going to go through hours of "contractions", sweat through his makeup, and sob and scream like a baby just because you thought it might be funny.
The only way to save your relationship is to toss the machine to the side, and be like, "JK lol ha ha I would never have meant it literally :)"
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As we previously discussed, he bought it himself, and pulled it out seconds after you took the period simulator off.
Why are you like this? Seriously, babe, you don't need to experience every aspect of life to appreciate true beauty! Ok. Ok fine.
So you put it on him, and start to do different levels to simulate different parts of labor. Only, just like before, he wants to roleplay. He'll grab your hand and hiss at you to be his breathing coach.
Things that'll happen while he makes you continue the exercise- he'll name your imaginary children (he's having triplets), he'll decide what school they are going to, he'll pause the simulation and teach you how to be a better breathing coach, he'll teach you how to give him an epidural (do not give it to him!), he'll teach you how to help deliver triplets, he'll try to teach you how to do a C section
Stop him, for the love of God, stop him. You'll have to literally fight him, but if you don't, he's putting a scalpel in your hand….
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It was his idea! Human birth is fascinating to someone who came from an egg!
But, again, he comes up on the tragedy of the machine bursting into flames once he comes into contact with it. So, again, he finds a potion that would simulate-
Sebek kicks the potion out of his hands. He's been waiting for this ever since the previous incident, and he will not, I repeat, he will not allow his lord to put himself through an artificial human pregnancy!!!!!!!!
You'll have two faes angrily trying to get you to help them. On the one hand, one is your boyfriend, and you want to do whatever it takes to make him happy. On the other hand, the other is Sebek.
Choose wisely.
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He totally didn't cry on the period simulator. And he totally didn't delete the footage in Ortho's data bank, and he totally didn't also wipe his memory of the moment. He'd delete your memories of it too if he could, he's looking into how to do it.
So if you challenge him, and tell him about a labor simulator, he's going to do it! By the sevens, he is going to succeed!
Cries immediately. You only have it at pain level three, and he's already backing out. Ortho says you should keep it going because it would be good for him to learn not to do things he isn't capable of. Idia will once again be deleting Ortho's memory files.
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tearwolfe · 4 months
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tumblr user tearwolfe may i please have some knightkasa 🥺
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THE ANGST BROTHERS
might as well spill my tsukasa toya lore for this AU..
toya's the heir to his kingdom (known as the fallen kingdom, formerly the kingdom of shadow) and tsukasa is the top knight in the kingdom of light. toya's kingdom had been.. well.. as the name suggests, destroyed, about 10 years prior to current day. before then, however, tsukasa, saki, and toya were all super close. the tenma family is high ranking in the kingdom of light, and were family friends with the aoyagis, who were in control of the kingdom of shadow. they played together a lot.
once the kingdom of shadow was mysteriously destroyed, the kingdom of light acted all hush-hush about it. saki and tsukasa were still kids, so obviously, they were devastated by the event. tsukasa's memory ended up separating what happened to toya away, to the point that he kind of just Forgot about toya. saki never forgot. she noticed he suddenly stopped talking about toya one day, but for a while assumed he was just too depressed about it all. it took her a bit to realize that he didn't have any recollection about toya.
tsukasa is aware of these blank gaps in his memory, but he is used to forgetting things so he tries not to think about it too much. sometimes he does get glimpses into what he's forgotten, but not enough to spell out the big picture..
toya is currently working to get revenge on the kingdom of light, for what they did to his kingdom. whether they were responsible for the destruction or the fact that they did nothing to assist his kingdom...
toya does not know tsukasa is the top knight of the kingdom of light. both saki and rui are working with toya. rui knows tsukasa, but (obviously) doesn't know tsukasa and toya's history. toya doesn't really talk about tsukasa to rui. saki knows everything. saki is the struggler. she is doing her best to pacify everything. it's hard being saki when her brother is a total idiot and cursed freak and toya is brooding and revenge-seeking. saki just needs a break.
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mikachacha · 1 year
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𝙹𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚢 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙲𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚒 (𝙹𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚞𝚜! 𝙱𝚊𝚍𝚊 𝙻𝚎𝚎 𝚡 𝚃𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝙱𝚎𝚋𝚎! 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛)
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Synopsis: You're trying to help your group promote your choreography for Hwasa's chili by doing a solo. What you didn't expect is for your video to blow up, attracting the people's attention and having a lot of people trying to flirt with you which made Bada, your girlfriend, very jealous.
Warnings: language and jealous Bada
(A/N: i have lots of fun making this 🥺🥺 thanks anon for your wonderful suggestions love ya 🫶🫶)
(Edit: i posted this earlier but tumblr is a hating bitch rn and deleted the bottom half right after the a/n)
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🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸
You woke up fairly early that morning, Bada went to the studio to prepare for her class while you went out to jog. After your jog, you thought it was a good idea to record a video of you dancing to Chili by Hwasa and using your group's choreography to also help promote your group. You picked out a quiet spot before you set your phone to start recording.
When you were finally satisfied with your video, you posted it on instagram. You didn't really expect anything when you posted that video so you just went on your day, totally forgetting about it Sowoen face timed you, the camera pointing at Bada who's currently sulking. You're confused and amused at the same time, you could hear the other girls laughing in the background and teasing Bada for being sulky and jealous.
"What happened to her? Why is she like that?" you asked Sowoen who were barely able to contain her laughter as Bada just lied down on the floor, looking like a kicked puppy, whining about everybody simping over her girlfriend on the internet that made the others laugh even more.
"Y/N-unnie your video is really viral right now and Bada-unnie is mad because everyone is literally simping and flirting with you." you heard Minah explain off cam. You quickly check your instagram and your notification is blowing up with thousands of likes, comments and new followers. Your dm's isn't doing any better. So many messages from random people and some pretty big names, all of them telling you that you're amazing at dancing. You couldn't help but giggle while reading some of the comments then you saw Chocol and Haechi's comments on your video. Even Akanen and Ling left some praises on your video. You had to bite the inside of your cheek to prevent yourself from laughing, now understanding why Bada is acting that way. She must've read the comment Haechi left on your video that made her very jealous.
"I'm just gonna get changed then head over to the studio so please tell Bada to calm her jealous ass." you said and soon got ready to meet Bada and your team. When you got there, Bada was already by the entrance waiting for you. A huge pout on her face before engulfing you in a hug. You smile and hug her back, whispering reassuring words to her so she can calm down.
"I'm proud that you're getting the recognition that you deserve but then I saw most of the comments are talking about how sexy you looked during the part where you twerked a bit then also there are people flirting with you.." Bada ranted and you could see the others watching not too far away, giggling at how their leader is currently acting.
"By others flirting with me, you mean Haechi? Baby, Haechi and I are just good friends. I chose you, I chose to be with you. I'm yours and no one is taking me away, okay? I love you, Lee Bada even if you're all jealous right now." you assured her but couldn't help tease her at the end because you rarely see this side of Bada, the jealous part and you found it extremely adorable. She just shot you a playful glare before kissing you on the lips, finally having calmed down from her jealous and sulky mood.
You returned the kiss and dragged her back to the studio where the others waited before having a genius idea of posting a video of you and Bada dancing to Chili and maybe goof around so she'll feel better.
"Another episode of Bada-unnie being so whipped for Y/N-unnie. Never gets old.." you heard Cheche comment and you giggled, agreeing with the younger member of your group. All of you posted a video of dancing to Chili then goofing around before you pulled Bada so you can have a video of just the two of you together. Both of you are all smiles while dancing then she decides to kiss you at the end, making you blush. She grabbed your phone and posted the video without any thought, feeling pleased with herself. You just rolled your eyes at her before kissing her cheek.
"Jealous ass.." You teased her and she pinched your cheek playfully which you reciprocated.
"Can't help it since my girlfriend is just way too hot." Bada retorts and you smile at her, just placing kisses all over her face. You could see your other teammates making exaggerated gagging noises through the mirror to which Bada responded with her middle finger raised.
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urfavoritegirlkisser · 9 months
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"To All of the Girls I've Loved Before" II Hazel Callahan x Reader
“Hazel goes to her favorite diner, ordering her favorite food and a large chocolate milkshake to go with it. It definitely helped to deal with her existential crisis on a full stomach and she eventually calmed her emotions.”
Tags: Cheerleader!Reader who is kinda mean oopsie, girls kissing, fem!reader, no use of y/n, lightly proof read
A/N: Wow, didn't expect y'all to like the first part, again this is based loosely off of the plot of "To All the Boys I've Loved Before" except it's gay and we love it. This is part two, go to the first part if you haven't read it already! Also, don't steal my writing, I only post on Tumblr.
Hazel wanted to crawl into a hole and stay there for eternity. She didn’t even wait for the dismissal bell as she grabbed her things and immediately rushed home.
How did the letters even get out? She had made sure to put them all in a small shoe box in the back of her closet…
As soon as she got home, Hazel ran up to her room and searched her closet from top to bottom, but all she found was a now empty shoe box.
“Hazel? Why are you home so early? I thought you had that fight club thing today” Hazel’s mom says as she leans against the door frame in that ridiculously overpriced bathrobe.
Hazel sighed and looked up at her mom, “Yeah…they, uh, canceled today” she says quickly while holding the shoe box and running a hand through her hair in frustration.
Her mother pointed to the box, “I made sure to mail those for you so you didn’t forget, and so they didn’t sit collecting dust.” she says while taking a sip from the drink in her hand
Hazel freezes and looks at her mother, her shock slowly fading into anger, “You were the one who mailed them?”
“I mean it seemed like you had forgotten about them, so I took it upon myself” she says shrugging her shoulders like her decision didn’t cause Hazel to make some of the biggest mistakes in her life.
Hazel throws the shoe box to the floor and rushes out of the house without another word as all of the emotions start flooding her mind and she sits in her car trying to blink back tears. She hits the steering wheel in frustration and then lays her head on it which causes the horn to blare.
“My life is ruined” she groans and then leans back, closing her eyes. She then starts her car and puts it into drive.
She needs to go somewhere and think
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Hazel goes to her favorite diner, ordering her favorite food and a large chocolate milkshake to go with it. It definitely helped to deal with her existential crisis on a full stomach and she eventually calmed her emotions.
And then you walked in
You scanned the diner and immediately spotted Hazel, walking over and sitting across from her in the booth. You had your cheerleading uniform on which told Hazel you must have come straight from practice.
“Hey Hazel” you say with a bright smile which Hazel can’t help but return, a small blush coating her cheeks.
“So I just wanted to come over and talk to you about what happened at the track earlier and I also want to offer you a deal” you say with a smug grin, “I need help getting my ex jealous, so I was thinking that maybe we keep up a little charade” you say as Hazel look at you dumbfounded at what you’re saying.
“It’s perfect! I’ll get Josh back for cheating on me, and you’ll finally get noticed by people other than those girls in your little club!” you say, a little condescendingly as you mention the fight club Hazel was apart of.
Hazel decided to try and scrounge up some form of her pride to leave with, “Yeah, look, I just wanted to say that I totally do not have a crush on you, I just needed to make sure another person also didn’t think I had a crush on them” she says confidently, and she isn’t technically lying…more like she was only saying half of the truth, right?
You weren’t going to lie, that made a spike of jealousy shoot through you but were quick to push the feeling down as you looked back to Hazel with a curious expression, “Oh? And who is this mystery person?”
Hazel fiddles with her rings nervously, wondering if she can trust you, “Well…um, her name is PJ but I’m sure you don’t know her-”
“But isn’t she like one of your best friends?” You questioned as you interrupt the brunette.
Hazel rubs the back of her neck anxiously, “I mean yeah, she is, but I never really had a crush on her until that kiss during the game happened and you know things got like super confusing for a while…” Hazel rambles until she slowly looks to see you checking your nails, seemingly uninterested.
“Look…maybe this fake dating arrangement could benefit both of us, you prove to PJ that you are totally not into her and I make my ex jealous, it’s really a win-win situation” you say, trying to push the idea forward again.
Hazel doesn’t know how to respond to this question…could she really date you, kiss you, love you while knowing that you don’t and will likely never feel the same?
She looks up and shakes her head, “I don’t know…this could really crash and burn if we ever get found out” she says softly
“I mean it’s not like we’ll ever tell anyone the truth” You say before sighing, “Just think it over, ok?”
Hazel nods and you flash her a smile before leaving.
“What is my life?” Hazel groans as she lets her head fall to the table in front of her
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The next day, you were at cheer practice, running over drills when you heard a voice call your name.
You look to see Hazel walking up to you until she stops right in front of you, tilting your head up a little, you can see a devious grin playing on her lips
“Let’s do this” she whispers to you
You cast a quick glance to your teammates around you and smiled before pulling Hazel into a quick but passionate kiss.
Hazel stumbles back a little after you break away and then looks around at all the people staring, her face starting to turn a vibrant shade of red as she laughs nervously.
“Yep, that’s my girlfriend alright” she says trying to play it cool but ultimately failing as she quickly walks away, “Carry on!” she squeaks out before running away, leaving you giggling softly at how cute Hazel looked when she was flustered.
A/N: Thank you again for reading!! I had no clue that a silly little idea of mine would be enjoyed by so many. Anyways, go drink water you girl kissers.
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tsorrow · 2 months
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a list of kunikida headcanons i have slowly accumulated (tiktok liked them so i hope tumblr will too):
he was a chronically fast talker when he was a kid. he had to learn to slow tf down when he became a teacher and he just never recovered
follow up: he tries really hard to keep the fact that he’s a college dropout a secret. hes doing a moderately good job (thank you BSD Wiki for this wonderful piece of information 🫶)
he hates black coffee
prefers podcasts to music
if he didn't have his schedule, he would just be a walking disaster. that notebook is the only thing holding him together (that's and probably spite)
he writes down things people mention they like and looks back on the list for birthday and holiday gifts
he either has a photographic memory or instantly forgets. no in between
he has attempted to teach Atsushi to drive. keyword ATTEMPTED (Yosano took over).
he is actually really good at explaining things when he has the patience to. he's just perpetually at his wits end
he and Chuuya have bonded (aka bitched about) what it’s like having Dazai as a partner
he’s very strict about getting 3 meals a day.
follow up: if he doesn’t get 3 meals, he will be hangry
double follow up: unless he’s in fight or flight mode, any level of disregulation throws him off and messes with his mood.
very much values his personal time! when he does have the opportunity to stick his phone on Do Not Disturb (which is rare) he MEANS IT
in relation: he lets a grand total of 4 peoples messages/calls break his Do Not Disturb: Fukazawa (really only for work emergencies though), Katai, Rokuzo, Dazai (this is one of the few things Dazai doesn't actually try and mess with. it is for emergencies only, and he knows that)
Kunikida can, will and has (at least 3 times) uprooted his entire schedule to make sure Dazai is safe. Dazai WILL get shit for it when he's better, but that's just cause Kunikida is Kunikida
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bibibbon · 3 months
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I made a huge mistake in going to the MHA subreddit. The braindead takes on 427 have me convinced I'm stuck in a parallel universe where we're reading a completely different story:
"It's great seeing Deku play therapist with the LOV, but all it seems to have done is make things worse!" A) Izuku shouldn't be having to play therapist to begin with, considering he's a 16 year old kid. B) most of the LOV don't see anything they did as wrong, so idk what the fuck Izuku can do about that. Also, WHY AREN'T PEOPLE HELPING IZUKU WITH HIS OWN GODDAMN FEELINGS?!
Apparently Bakugou killed Kurogiri, and there's absolutely ZERO reaction to it both in and out of universe. So of fucking course Izuku is a murderer, but not their precious Bakugou 🥱.
"I feel like Hori's really underrated as a writer!" Horikoshi doesn't know Show Don't Tell, how to actually develop characters, and how to craft actual stakes in the narrative from a hole in the ground. Also, MHA is one of the most popular mangas worldwide, so you're not even using underrated right.
"I feel like Horikoshi sees our discussions and then implements them in the story!" This I can kind of agree with, considering how much y'all hate Izuku and worship Bakugou. But on the other hand, I really doubt Horikoshi thinks the MHA subreddit is as important as you think it is.
"Bakugou's totally going to ask Izuku to start their own hero agency together at the end!" Jesus fucking Christ, just say you hate Izuku. How would that be a great ending for him? He not only has to see the source of his low self esteem and borderline suicidal feelings achieving the dream he'll now never have, but you want them to WORK together?!
@nutzgunray-lvt 👋
Well a lot of the time looking into Reddit is always a mistake unless you're asking a very niche question and you get an answer from 9 years ago or something.
I feel like a lot of people whether that be in universe or in fandom forget that izuku is a 16 year old child soldier. Izuku is more than a decade younger than a lot of the villains in the leauge. He is a child who has been exploited by the system and abused. We have seen in 425 izuku try and talk to someone but simply get brushed aside and while I don't blame shoto or ochako for doing that as they probably didn't mean it and are traumatised themselves it kinda of shows how much this has effected izuku. Also this doesn't help BECAUSE HORI GAVE US NO FLIPPING INTROPSECTION ON IZUKU'S BIT AGAIN!! Also Iam not sure if it's just me but Izuku's eye bags are heavily prominent in this chapter especially when he is talking to spinner.
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The fandom especially the lov stans side of it love babayifying the actions of the leauge and hyper fixating on the humane soft side they may have while completely ignoring the horrible actions they commited. I talk about this better in one of @palesweetscherryblossom asks
I still can't believe that bk may of killed kurogiri. I don't even know when that happend and I checked the wiki but it says that kurogiris status is unconfirmed so I will be waiting until the last chapter to fully acknowledge if kurogiri is dead or not. However this brings up the point that the fandoms is being quite hypocritical if they're calling izuku a murder but not bakugo. They both killed people but for some reason it's izuku thats put into public light and bashing instead of all the other characters that have killed in the series including villains.
Yeah sometimes it feels like hori is looking at discussions of his series and implementing ideas but I think that goes more for his Japanese fans than us to be honest because after all they're his target demographic. I remember when I first joined Tumblr one of my earliest posts talked about how horikoshi's writing decisions were heavily influenced by his fans which may or may not be true.
At this point IAM convinced that izuku isn't getting a proper happy ending. Every time I think it can't get worse it does. Just by your comment of them starting an agency together haunts me just like the possibility that bk may become the number one hero
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Note
Hello! How are you? I am very good for now. because after trying for over a year I switched to void state last night very easily! it was an incredibly amazing experience for me. I stumbled upon your account on tumblr a few days ago, I saw a lot of people have succeeded with the method you suggested! I felt so happy for them!
Now I will tell my own success story.
I used to be so obsessed with it that I was just procrastinating and "trying" to get into the void when I had so much work to do whenever I had free time.
Throughout this process, I always thought that I would not succeed and always went back to the beginning. I was very bad with everyone around me, I was constantly fighting and exposed to violence. In short, I was experiencing hell on this earth.
Months passed and I decided to focus on my life a little bit. I tried to think positively and convince myself how easy it was for me to manifest. But there was one very important thing that I forgot, all the evil forces in this hell were coming only on me, only me.
I spent the whole of last year and the first months of this year like a living dead...
But in these last few days, I have made a decision that will radically change my life. Before, I tried every method to enter void constantly, but something was not going well every time. So I decided that it would be easier and more useful to just assume that I woke up there, rather than making dozens of efforts to enter void 2 days ago.
THE DAY I FINALLY ENTERED THE VOID CONSCIOUSLY!
I didn't listen to the subliminal, I just did a 20-minute meditation, my wish to revisit life in more detail. At the end of the meditation, I said only one affirmation: I will wake up in void tonight.
I wasn't tired and very sleepy that night (these are usually what people think is necessary for a void).I just lay on my bed in my usual position and affirmed that I would wake up in void at night. After that I already went straight to sleep.
I woke up in the middle of the night, I didn't move. The sounds were so muffled, it's like you're listening to a song through a broken earpiece, that's how I heard it. I stayed like that for a few minutes, then the sounds suddenly stopped and I felt myself being pulled into the darkness. My heart was beating so fast, so I focused on calming myself. I couldn't feel my body anymore, as if someone was separating my soul from my body and floating it in a vacuum of space. That's when I realized that I really succeeded! And I calmed down for a while and then said my affirmations. I didn't make a special list, so I said it all one by one.
My manifests:
The face and body I dreamed of down to the smallest detail
My desired name, surname(i have two names in different languages)
My dream room and house with all the items on my Pinterest board(There were almost 50K pins on the board I mentioned...)
I overhauled my father as someone else entirely. With his nationality, zodiac sign, appearance, name.(I also added that he is a person who gets along perfectly with his 4 children and his wife!)
I made my mother younger in appearance, not in age, I also wished her a happy and peaceful life in every way.
As for our financial situation, my father is an extraordinarily wealthy businessman, we own the largest house and the most luxurious car in my city. We also have 4 modern apartments and 1 huge villa in another city! It does not end with these, we also have houses in America, France, England!
I also manifested new phone and other electronic gadgets.
We are 4 siblings in the family and we all get along very well, no hurtful words and no violence!
I have a private room for my unfinished clothes in my room and a very nice bathroom adjacent to my room!
I also manifested success in the lessons: no matter how long the paragraph is, it stays in my mind only once I read it and I never forget it! I do not have a single error in all the tests I have solved.
We have a total of 4 pets including 2 cats and a puppy and a husky dog. Our garden is huge, with a big swing, a covered area to sit in in the winter, and lots of lavender flowers, white roses!
By the way, I manifested that I have lived this life from the beginning, so our house is full of memories we have accumulated with my siblings and parents since childhood, our childhood photos everywhere, emotional diaries my mother wrote when she was pregnant.
I also manifested new friends to myself: one of them is famous (keep this part private lol), I wished to meet him since childhood. Apart from her, I also have a male friend who is our family friend and my best friend who lives with us.
That's all I wanted, I left everything else to my subconscious and my last sentence before leaving the void was "I will open my eyes to the life I dreamed of".
Finally, when I came out of the void, I heard my brother's voice, scolding me for turning off the air conditioner in my room and leaving it on until morning, and saying that he would be very upset if I got sick. (it did indeed come true more perfectly than I had imagined! )
The reason why I wrote my success story and the life I manifested at length is this: most people limit their desires and try to make do with less. Believe me, I was thinking the same way a month ago, thinking that living the life I wanted was unfair to the people in my life. But lately, thanks to what those people did to me, I realized that all this time I had been unfair to myself, not to them. After realizing this, I reminded myself that I only deserved the life of my dreams.
And now that I'm who I should be, I'm pretty happy with it. I can't thank you enough  my dear. The success stories you shared motivated me a lot and helped me take action.
I am so proud of you my love. I absolutely adore revision stories as well as the usage of intention which is my personal favorite method. No method is stronger than your will to have your desires. Thank you so much for sharing your story and I hope you continue to always live your best life <3
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