#I truly did a friend-making speed run in the most Jack way imaginable

[giantkillerjack]

I MADE A NEW FRIEND TODAY AND THEY WERE SO NICE AND WE ARE GONNA GO TO THE LESBIAN BAR TOGETHER!!!!!!

[sunshineandcybertronians]

Heart Attack - Knock Out x reader

Word count: 3,670 Warnings: None A/N: This was one of the first TFP fanfics I wrote. I finished it in June 2019. Hope you enjoy! Song: Heart Attack by Demi Lovato 

You hummed a song on the couch while watching the older two teenagers play a video game. Not truly paying attention with a big grin and a far off look in your eyes, daydreaming. about your secret friend. Knockout. You met him through your association with the Autobots. He decided to capture you, not too long after you were introduced to them, a few months after the other three kids were. Before the Autobots rescued you, you talked with Knockout. It was enjoyable and you both like to conversing. Thus, you been secretly scheduling time to get together. You loved being with him and talking to him.

Currently, your mind was sitting on a mental picture of him his finish shiny and a beautiful shade of red. His face snow white and handsome. Your imagination switch to him in his flawless alt mode rolling down the road against the sunset. Sighing, your imagination supplied the sensation of sitting in him at that high speed. Your heart began throbbing with a strange feeling. Realizing what you were thinking, you shook your head. No, you couldn't think that. You were just friends with him, that's all.

You were drawn back into the real world by Miko's victory celebration.

"Yes, I won!" Miko jumped up at her car knocking Jack's off the road.

Jack groaned before reminding Miko, "Okay, it's Raf's turn now."

"Right. Here," she handed him the controller.

"Miko, you've made the controller all sweaty," Raf complained, holding it by only his fingertips.

"Sorry," she replied in her cheerful way. "Not my fault my hands decided to do that while I was crushing Jack." She mimicked holding a controller and mashing buttons with one foot up on the cushion.

"How long has it been since you guys cleaned those off?" You asked, suddenly curious and slightly disgusted since you never recalled them doing that.

"Um, we're supposed to clean them?" Miko asked, sitting down and putting a finger on her jaw as if she was thinking.

"I... don't think we ever have," Jack slowly admitted as the realization came over him.

"Then I'll go get some wet wipes from the storage room. I'll be right back." You got up, began to clop down the hard stairs, and entered the Cybertronian sized corridor. "I'll come with," Miko called out while hopping up and running down the stairs with no regard for her own safety.

"Carefully!" Ratchet immediately snapped when he glanced her way.

"Sorry," you apologized for her, sinking into your shoulders.

Miko caught up with you and you both began running done the hall. You wouldn't normally have run, but you unintentionally mimicked your energetic friend, as well as doing so to simply keep up with her. Being in the corridor without someone usually made you feel uneasy, as if you felt that you didn't belong there due to your small size. Miko being beside you helped ease your insecurity.

She kept talking about some random things, like how she defeated Jack, that they need a new video game, and the monster truck rally she and Bulk went to. Most of the time you just nodded while she did the talking. You accidentally tuned out about half of it. Once you reached the storage area, you grabbed the box of wet wipes, cradled it in your arms, and began pacing back.

"So, do you like anyone?" Miko asked you out of nowhere, leaning forward while looking to you expectantly.

"What?" Your pupils became large and you almost froze from surprise.

"Do you have a crush on anyone?" she jumped out in front of you and walked backwards. "You've been acting more happy and daydreamy recently."

"I don't think 'daydreamy' is a word," you avoided the question.

"But who is it?"

"No one!"

She fell into step aside you again, pretending to examine her nails with a smug smile. "It's Knockout isn't it?"

That time you actually stopped in your tracks for a split second. "What?!" you said a lot louder than you meant to.

"Yeah! I saw the way you looked at him the other day when we had a run-in with the 'Cons. You were totally goo-goo eyed. If it were an anime your eyes would have had tons of sparkle and you would have been drooling."

"Quiet," you almost whispered.

"You were! Do you like him?" Miko was the most persistent girl you've ever known.

"No," you firmly answered louder than you meant to. You managed to stop yourself from shouting that you didn't know, feeling frustrated. "Look, I can't like him, he's a Decepticon. I barely know him. So stop asking," your voice had an unintentional edge. Miko even looked shocked and slightly scared for a millisecond.

In reality you didn't care that he was a Decepticon, you just didn't want to have to deal with a crush. They could be so annoying. Plus, it would be hard to do that considering you were on opposite sides, the Autobots might object, and he may not like you back. That last one could ruin your friendship which you valued so much.

"Okay," Miko shrugged and focused on the open room you were approaching. Although you could tell she wasn't convinced, even more so with her sudden calm and cool attitude. She was actually pretty good at acting when she wanted to, provided she's not lying, to the point only someone who truly knew her would be able to see through it.

"Here, think fast," you tossed the box to her as you ran into the wide area with most of the Autobots' presence.

Her pace quicken like yours and she rushed up the stairs. Your course, however, was aimed at the yellow Autobot scout. You slowed and stopped in front of him.

"Hey, Bee!" you called to him, "Can I get a ride back home? I think there's a report I left at home, so I'll just finish it there." With Miko being onto your secret- you mean, her thinking you liked Knockout, you had to get out of there as fast as you could before she told everyone her suspicion. Primus knows she can't keep a secret. You did NOT want to be around if she did so.

Bumblebee beeped in agreement and transformed into a yellow Urbana 500. The passenger door popped opened and you climbed inside.

"Thanks, Bee," you said as he clicked the seatbelt over you.

He buzzed, probably saying, "No problem," and drove through the tunnel and out into the Nevada desert. It was a quiet ride back, the light brown terrain blurred past you. You began thinking about Knockout again. They hadn't figured out that you were friends yet, in fact, all Miko suspected was that you liked him. This meant you were in the clear for now. Although if Miko told everyone, it would not only be embarrassing, they might keep a closer eye on you which would prevent you from being around Knockout.

Deciding you should tell him, you pulled your phone out and your fingers began flying across the digital keyboard.

Me: Wanna go for a drive? I'll be back home in a little bit, but don't go just yet. And be careful, the yellow Urbana's dropping me off.

You tapped send and leaned back in the seat. Normally you wouldn't have referred to Bumblebee like that, but it would make it easier for Knockout to know who you were talking about. Plus, it sounded like something Knockout would say and every now and then you found you were picking up his talking habits.

A buzzing against your skin made you look back at your phone and see the reply.

Knockout: Sure. I'll stick around, unseen, until you give the thumbs up.

You wanted to comment that it was almost impossible for him to be 'unseen' with his shiny, red paintjob and his gorgeous alt mode, but you knew what he meant. Blood rushed to your cheeks and you felt warm when you realized you just mentally called him gorgeous.

"Buzzz, chirp chirp, buzz?" Bee seemed to ask a question and pull you out of your thoughts.

"Huh." Being back in reality you suddenly realized you were only two or three minutes away from home.

Bumblebee repeated himself, but you still had no idea what he was trying to say. "I'm... sorry. I don't understand you."

The seatbelt moved on its own like it was alive. The part that was previously on your shoulder tapped your cheek, then stayed on your shoulder again like it never moved.

"Oh," you let out when you realized what he was asking. "It's just warm today, so that's why my face is turning red," you lied, although it was a warm day and you were grateful he cared enough to ask.

Before you could say thank you, the AC became cooler and the cool air felt pleasant on your skin.

"Thanks, Bee," you smiled.

He beeped another, "No problem," or "You're welcome." You didn't really need a translator to know that.

In no time, you were in front of your house. You waved and gave another thanks before running inside. Once inside, you secretly watched from the window and waited until Bumblebee was gone.

Pulling out your phone again, you typed:

Me: He's gone now. Just left.

You considered painting your nails red while waiting, to look better for him, but would it dry in time? Before you could decide, fifteen seconds after you clicked send, Knockout pulled up and you rushed as fast to him as you could, almost forgetting to close the door on your way out. The door opening, you promptly got in. It closed behind you and he began to drive.

"That was fast. You didn't even give me time to brush out my hair or anything," you joked while reaching for the seatbelt out of habit, but it automatically went over you and snapped into place.

"You still look just fine," he replied somewhat slowly in his suave voice.

"Thanks," you smiled and forced yourself to stop thinking about it before you could begin blushing.

"What's wrong?" he asked when he noticed you were slightly less happy than usual. You had been friends and spent enough time with each other that he could read you fairly well.

"Miko might be onto me."

"She's the girl that's Bulkhead's pet, right?"

"Partner, or charge, whatever you want to call it," you corrected. "But yes."

"She knows about us," there was a slight growl in his words. You could just be kidding yourself, but it might have been fear, in an angry way. Like he was scared of the possibility. "About us being friends and meeting each other, I mean," the red interior lights flashed as he spoke.

"Well not exactly, she..." you paused, looking for the right way to word it. You didn't want to tell him that Miko thought you had a crush on him, because you didn't, you mentally added. "She noticed how I... seemed happy when I saw you the other day. She may guess that I've been meeting up with you, or someone else will if she tells them."

"Would she tell them?"

"Oh yeah. That girl can't keep a secret. Except for the fact that cybertronians exist, maybe she's just bad at keeping secrets from her friends. Anyway," you regained your posture and decided to get back on topic, "even if they don't figure it out, they might think that I'll approach you and get captured or... join the Decepticons," you waved your arms out, careful not to hit Knockout, as you exaggerated. "The point is they can worry and keep a closer optic on me which would restrict me from seeing you." You leaned back with your arms crossed, staring down. "I could always text or call you. But I have no idea how long the house arrest would last. Plus they may wonder who I'm texting so much and see, and I would miss riding with you and seeing you in person."

Knockout stayed quiet as he processed it, wondering what he should say or how he should respond to all of that information. The only sound was the hum of his engine giving the necessary energy to glide across the concrete in the open desert while you waited for a reply.

"Hmm. Wouldn't want that to happen. If the 'Bots learn, Megatron might too. That would be painful. But the chances of him figuring out are slim, so I'd be more worried about you right now." He thought about it. "Maybe if that happens you could run away with me," he suggested.

You laughed, "As tempting as that is, I can't do that. That would be a little irresponsible and only make it worse. If they worry about me being captured or defecting, running away wouldn't ease them, it would make them more desperate. And they're my friends too. But thanks for the offer," you added.

"What should we do then?"

"I think we should just roll with the punches and hope for the best. There's no guarantee they'll find out. Although, we should be more careful." It scared you to think that you could lose Knockout, however you had to hope for the best. That was all you could do, so you hoped you wouldn't be prevented from being with him. The thought of being torn apart from him made your heart ach- you mean, it would be sad. No, you gave your head a small shake. You didn't love him, you convinced yourself.

"If you say so," he sounded a little unsure himself.

"Knockout!" a deep, scary voice burst through the speakers making you jump.

"Yes, Megatron," Knockout tried to mask the fear in his response, not wanting to be caught slacking off with a human.

"Knockout, where are you?" he demanded.

You froze and unintentionally held your breath. You didn't know if the Decepticon leader would hear you if you said anything, but you didn't want to find out.

"I was... just scouting for energon deposits."

"Well you're in luck," Megatron became strangely calm with a bite, like he was attempting to suppress his anger. "Because we have detected an energy signature near your location. Scout out the area and report your findings, IMMEDIATELY!"

"Y-yes, my liege." He turned off the comm. "Sorry, (Y/n), I have to go check it out," he said quietly, as if he was afraid the comm was still on.

You nodded. "It's alright. I understand."

None of you had to mention it to know that you were both terrified that Megatron would find out about your secret, despite only speaking through the comm channel. Your heart was still racing. By the way the engine rattled slightly, while driving off the road to scout the requested site, you could tell he was still shaken up.

Knockout stopped by a rock wall and opened the door for you to get out.

"It would probably be safer if you stayed here and wait for me. No telling if the site is going to be unstable or if Lord Megatron has already sent other Decepticons," he mentioned.

"Right," you hopped out, "I'll wait here." You watched him drive away, turning right and behind the orange-ish brown rock formation you were standing by.

Sighing, you wondered what you should do while waiting. Your feet kicked up some rocks and dirt out of boredom. Your mind wandered and you began to think about Knockout, then Miko's earlier claim. A warm feeling fluttered in your chest. You immediately forced yourself to stop thinking about it to remove the feeling and decided to distract yourself by putting in ear buds and listening to songs on your phone.

Several songs played that you danced or bobbed your head to. Then a song, that sounded strangely similar to your situation, began playing.

Puttin’ my defences up 'Cause I don’t wanna fall in love

Upon hearing that you knew it was "Heart attack" by Demi Levado.

If I ever did that, I think I’d have a heart attack

Never put my love out on the line

You nodded, since you knew that you wanted to never to risk your heart getting broken or putting yourself in a bad situation when it came to love... want being keyword. You can want one thing, but another thing can happen.

Never said yes to the right guy Never had trouble getting what I want But when it comes to you, I’m never good enough

A laugh escaped your mouth, recollecting that you often never felt good enough for Knockout. He was gorgeous, how could you ever compete or be good enough for his standards? This time you forgot to notice you called him gorgeous and argue with yourself that you didn't think that as your thoughts moved on with the song.

When I don’t care, I can play 'em like a Ken doll Won’t wash my hair, then make 'em bounce like a basketball

But you make me wanna act like a girl Paint my nails and wear high heels, yes you Make me so nervous, that I just can’t hold your hand

A hum vibrated in your throat as you began humming the song at the pre chorus. You remembered when you considered painting your nails for Knockout.

You make me glow, But I cover up, won’t let it show, So I’m puttin’ my defenses up 'Cause I don’t wanna fall in love If I ever did that, I think I’d have a heart attack I think I’d have a heart attack I think I’d have a heart attack

Your heart seemed to have taken note of what feeling it produced when you usually thought about Knockout and replay it while listening to the song. This time you didn't fight it and let the nice feeling flood through you.

Never break a sweat for the other guys When you come around, I get paralyzed And every time I try to be myself It comes out wrong like a cry for help

You were so into the song and relating to it so much that at the last line that you began singing along while dancing more vigorously, knowing that no one would see.

It’s just not fair Pain’s more trouble than love is worth I gasp for air It feels so good, but you know it hurts

But you make me wanna act like a girl Paint my nails and wear perfume, for you, Make me so nervous, that I just can’t hold your hand

You make me glow, But I cover up, won’t let it show, So I’m puttin’ my defenses up 'Cause I don’t wanna fall in love If I ever did that, I think I’d have a heart attack I think I’d have a heart attack I think I’d have a heart attack

You recalled how you'd be so much more happier being with and thinking about Knockout, but you'd never let it show because you didn't want anyone else to figure out. Thinking about it now, you didn't want yourself to figure out. You thought that if you kept denying it, then you wouldn't fall for him.

Dummy, you heard a part of your brain or heart say, how could you not fall for him?

The feelings got lost in my lungs They’re burning, I’d rather be numb

It felt really weird suddenly admitting you liked him, that it had become too powerful to deny, like the song was giving it energy. The emotion overpowered you in a way you almost felt weak, yet it somehow had a pleasant sensation.

And there’s no one else to blame

Sighing, the song reminded you that there was no one else you could blame for making you feel like this except for yourself. You let this happen and decided to meet him all the time.

So scared I take off and I run I’m flying too close to the sun And I burst into flames

You make me glow, But I cover up, won’t let it show, So I’m puttin’ my defenses up 'Cause I don’t wanna fall in love If I ever did that, I think I’d have a heart attack I think I’d have a heart attack (heart attack) I think I’d have a heart attack

A spin was the next move you decided to perform. While doing so, you spotted an all too familiar red mech leaning against the rock and white face smirking. This startled you so much that you lost balance and fell down on your bottom, facing Knockout.

Oh I think I’d have a heart attack

Your cheeks heated up, feeling embarrassed that he heard you singing and what you were just thinking about. His arms were crossed, causing the sun to reflect off of his doors, and an optic ridge was raised that didn't help your blush.

I think I’d have a heart attack

You stopped the song as it ended and pulled out the ear buds. "I... didn't hear you. How... much did you hear?" you tentatively asked while getting up.

"Oh, just the beginning of, what I assumed is, the second chorus up until now." He stood up straight and walked closer to you.

You stood still and wondered what he was going to do. An awkward smile played on your mouth while you pretended everything was normal. Although you moved your legs closer together and held your arm, giving you the appearance of being someone shy.

"So, do you have a heart attack?" he asked.

Your heart started beating so fast you thought it would burst out of your chest and your brain stopped functioning. "Umm... Uh, ummm."

Your flustered reaction seemed to please him. He tenderly placed a digit over your mouth to stop you from talking. He leaned down so you were eye to optic. A smile graced his faceplate while you stared into his deep optics.

"I have a spark attack too."

[selfshipwritingandstuff]

When Past and Present meet Chapter 4

Chapter under the cut for spicy reasons

Divine.

That's the only word she could think of to describe the feeling of being with Jack again.

„Come on", he murmured into her shoulder. „You've had a long day, and this bed is big enough for two."

She chuckled. „You'll have to let go of me first, so I can get out of my uniform."

With a small grumble, he let go. „Fine, but don't be too long."

She shed the dress so quickly, she almost ripped it in the process. Then she crawled under the covers next to him, back into his eagerly waiting arms. Jack let out a pleased hum. „That's much better. Your skin is as soft as I remember, my dear." As if to emphasize his words, he let his fingers glide across her body, from her shoulders over her breasts, waist and finally to the hem of her smallclothes.

„What about you?", she asked softly. „You're way too dressed for my taste." Then she ripped open his nightshirt, sending its tacky golden buttons flying through the room.  She had never paid much attention to how Reaver was built, even when sleeping with him. But now that his body housed Jack, she found that he looked absolutely delightful. He was muscular, but still very slim. The graceful physique of someone who valued precision over brute strength. His skin was deathly pale and without any marks; no scars, no bumps, nothing. And now, he was truly perfect. She wrapped her arms around his torso, thoroughly enjoying the feeling of skin on skin, his heartbeat right next to her ear. 

„Sleep, my love", Jack whispered to her, running his fingers through her hair. „You are exhausted."

„...don't want to…", she mumbled. How could she explain to him that she didn‘t want to miss a single second of his presence, no matter how much sleep tugged at her? That she wanted to hold and kiss and feel him right now? 

His dark chuckle sent a rush of heat straight to her nethers. „Oh? Do I have to tire you out first?" He rolled around so she was on top of him. „Is your desire for me so strong? Or did nobody manage to properly satisfy you during my absence?" His fingers found her most sensitive spot through her undergarments. „Tell me, my sweet. How many nights did you spend fantasizing, touching yourself to the thought of me? Your beautiful, slender fingers drenched in your juices, while you imagined that it was me inside of you?"

„Jack.. oh gods", she gasped, grinding against his hand. It was incredible, how he could bring her so close with just his words and a single finger.

„Tell me", he demanded again. „All of the dirty things that went through your pretty little head while you played with yourself. I want to know every little detail."

She scoured her memories for any of her fantasies, but Jack teasing her clit was making thinking quite difficult. „I-I imagined myself tied down, yours to do with as you pleased… t-teasing me until I was b-begging you to take me. A-and I l-loved the idea of being helpless… at your mercy… and imagining all of the things you would do to me…" His breathing quickened and so did the

movement of his hand between her legs. „I-it made me so wet. T-the idea of being your little toy.“

„Tied up and helpless, hm? So lewd…"

„Jack please", she whimpered. „I need you so bad."

„Do you now?" Another stroke against her clit made her yelp. „Ah yes, I can tell. That needy little body of yours is begging to be filled."

He ripped her underwear like paper, and just the sudden brush of air against her sex almost drove her over the edge.

There was no time to lose. She needed him, right now! She tore at the lacings of his pants until finally, his cock jumped out at her, hard and ready. As soon as she positioned his tip against her entrance, he grabbed her hips and slammed her down, hitting that sweet spot deep within her.

Her lustful scream seemed almost inhuman.

„I love this“, he said hoarsely and began to guide her waist. „Your screams are music to my ears.“

She followed his movement, riding him, but the previous stimulation didn‘t leave her with much energy. „Jack, I‘m close...“

„Then come!“

Her movement became more erratic, the tension building in her abdomen, her vision growing hazy. The orgasm tore through her like a tidal wave, she tensed up and then sank down on him. Now he turned her around so he was on top, and continued; shallow, sloppy thrusts igniting her anew.

„Jack“, she groaned, wrapped her arms around his shoulders and kissed his mask. „Deeper!“

„So greedy...“ He lifted her hips and buried himself in her all the way down to the hilt. „But oh you feel so amazing!“

He picked up more speed, and with a few last, deep thrusts, he spilled himself inside of her. There was a smirk in his voice when he said:„You have no idea how much I have missed this, my sweet.“

Sleep was already gripping her, so all she could muster was a quiet „Imissedyoutoo“ before dozing off.

In the morning, she at first almost believed that she had dreamed it all. She was alone in the bed, and after a moment of regaining her orientation, she found Jack standing in front of Reaver‘s huge wardrobe, butt naked, going through his many, many clothes, but rejecting each outfit with a dismissive snarl.

„Is this really what people are wearing nowadays?“, he asked, holding up one of Reaver‘s most expensive coats as if it was something extremely repulsive.

„Since when are you so picky about clothes?“, she asked.

Jack was just about to answer, when he was, once again, interrupted by a knock on the door.

„Master Reaver? I can‘t find Daphne anywhere, I fear she-“ Barry stopped when he saw the scene in front of him. He squinted. „Master Reaver?“

Jack scoffed quietly and turned his attention to his wardrobe again. „Your Master Reaver is dead.“

Barry‘s mismatched eyes wandered over to her. „Daphne? Explain?“

„It‘s kind of a long story“, she began. „How about I get dressed and we go into the kitchen. Get ourselves some breakfast. And then I can explain everything to you.“

„Is it really necessary for you to be fraternizing with a mortal like this, my dear?“, Jack asked, slightly annoyed.

„Hey, be nice to him, yeah? Barry is the closest thing to a friend I‘ve had in centuries, and probably the only thing that kept me sane during the past five years.“

Jack huffed. „If you say so. Then go explain everything to him while I try to find something actually decent in this idiot‘s wardrobe.“

„What the hell just happened“, Barry asked as soon as they were out of earshot. „Who is this? Why does he look like Master Reaver? What HAPPENED to Master Reaver? And most importantly: What does that mean for us?“

„Us...“ she hummed quietly. „You can stay as a servant, if you want. Jack will treat you a lot better than Reaver ever did, I‘ll make sure of that. Or you can leave, and find work elsewhere.“

„That doesn‘t answer my other questions, Daphne.“

She took a deep breath. „Do you know the story of Jack of Blades?“

Barry only gave her a blank look. „Jack of Blades? The guy from that old legend, who tried to destroy Albion but was killed by the King‘s ancestor?“

„Not killed, just… incapacitated“, she corrected him. „Yeah. That one.“

„What about him?“

„You just met him.“

Barry quickly looked towards the bedroom, then back at her. „You‘re kidding.“

„Do I look like I am? The mask I bought held Jack‘s soul. I knew that from the beginning. He is the loved one I talked about in the tavern.“

„That‘s insane. That would mean that you‘re even older than Master Reaver!“

„I am, by a good century“, she replied. „I don‘t know how he did it, but Jack made me immortal back then, when I officially became his lover. So I could be with him forever.“

Barry obviously needed a moment to process that information. „And Master Reaver? What happened to him?“

„Dead, I assume. His body is Jack‘s now.“ She raised an eyebrow. „Does that bother you?“

He stared straight ahead. „I don‘t know. I never thought about what it would be like to live without Master Reaver.“ Then he looked at her again. „And you? Are you going to continue being a maid here?“

„I don‘t think so“, she said. „No idea what the future will hold. If Jack will even stay here. He never cared much about money or luxuries. And if he leaves, I will leave with him.“

„You‘d follow him anywhere, would you?“ Was she hallucinating, or was there a hint of bitterness in his voice?

Still, she answered truthfully. „Anywhere, to the end of the world, to hell and back, even beyond this plane of existence.“

He took a deep breath. „Well, if you two decide to stay, then I go on doing what I‘m always doing; serving the man of the house. And for the first time ever, the lady of the house as well.“

She patted him on the back with a fond smile. „Thank you for understanding me, Barry.“

With a somewhat agreeable mumble, he changed the subject:„So, we… I should probably get breakfast ready for Master R… Master Jack.“

„Oh, Jack doesn‘t eat.“

Barry shot her a surprised look. „Okay. Pity about all of the food in the pantry, though.“

„I mean… Jack not eating just means that you and the other servants can help yourselves to your heart‘s content. I know I will.“

„You can do that because you‘re the lady of the house now.“

„Yes, and as the lady of the house, I give you and the rest of the staff permission to help yourselves to whatever you want.“

They went on bickering all the way down to the kitchen.

[orangecrane]

Hey there Orange I saw your requests are open and I was wondering if you could possibly write something angsty with sprace? Happy ending or not! Your choice! I’m just depressed and I need more sprace content. Thanks!

no fault of mine

When what's supposed to be a happy day ends up being a terrible mess, Albert's left to pick up the pieces. But not everything is quite as it seems. (In which if people actually communicated a lot of pain could have been prevented. Maybe).

A/N: Thanks for the request, I hope it was what you wanted! If not just let me know. This got away from me a bit lol, I didn’t mean for it to get this long. Also, would anyone like a second part/follow up to this? I have a few ideas where I could take it but this was long enough as is and I was anxious to post it.

CW: Mild swearing, Illness (Fever)

“Damn Race, what’s got you in such a good mood?”

Race absolutely lit up. He’d already been unreasonably upbeat all day, from having a huge smile plastered across his face from the moment he woke up to practically skipping to distribution. He’d also been unusually giggly and had been draping himself all over Albert with a level of drama that was usually reserved for special occasions.

“Oh don’t get him started,” Albert groaned, “he’s been talkin’ my ear off about his date with Spot for the past two weeks.”

“Ain’t you two been on dates before,” Finch directed at Race, “what’s so special about this one?”

“Yeah, but today is exactly one year after our first date! Spot’s got a big surprise planned an’ I can’t wait,” Race was practically vibrating. “We’s gonna meet by the bridge after selling today, it’s why I’m staying in Manhattan with Al today to sell.”

“Well, good luck wit’ that Race,” Finch smiled. “And Albert, I hope you still have ears by the time you get home.”

The smugness practically radiated off of Finch. Albert grumbled and rolled his eyes at his teasing tone. “Wouldn’t bet on it…”

---

Race had just sold his last pape and was on his way to meet Spot. He was most certainly not barely restraining himself from running all the way to the bridge. Besides, if he did that then he’d only be early and have nothing to do but wait around for Spot to show up. So Race walked, at a perfectly normal walking speed, the rest of the way to the place they were supposed to meet.

He still arrived about fifteen minutes early, but that wasn’t a big deal. He could just pace around a bit and daydream about what they were going to do once Spot got here.

Race dreamed of walks in the park, of admiring the very last of the autumn leaves before winter well and truly came. Of holding hands to keep warm in the chilly night air and stealing kisses in the shadows. Of sharing a proper meal, the kind lowly newsboys never got to eat. Race dreamed of Spot.

He kept daydreaming until a passerby accidentally bumped into him.

Huh… that was odd. He had been lost in his own head for so long that he hadn’t noticed nearly half an hour slip by. That in it of itself wasn’t weird, Race was easily distracted and had a vivid imagination. But that meant Spot was fifteen minutes late.

Spot was almost never late. In fact, he often prided himself on his punctuality. Race was the one who got sidetracked or miscalculated how long it took to get somewhere or just plain forgot.

He must’ve gotten wrapped up in something with his boys. Oh well, Race had made him wait enough times to be forgiving about it this once. Even if it was a special day.

So Race resumed his fantasizing. Warmth and sweet words and Spot.

But that only lasted so long. Because fairly soon, Spot was half an hour late. Now Race was beginning to worry. What was keeping him? Did Race have the wrong place?

Another thirty minutes passed. Spot was officially an hour late. Race didn’t think Spot had been that late to anything in his life.

Another hour. Race was panicking. Did Spot forget?

No, Race was certain he wouldn’t, couldn’t when they had spoken about it just yesterday. Race had tried to get Spot to tell him about their plans but Spot was ever tight-lipped.

Was he hurt? Spot was strong but it wasn’t impossible.

Did something happen to one of the Brooklyn kids? But if he had known he wouldn’t be able to make it, wouldn’t Spot have sent a runner?

Another hour. What if Spot wasn’t coming? The sun was setting and Race was still waiting.

Another hour. Spot wasn’t coming. It was dark and Race was cold. He wanted nothing more to curl up into a ball and cry. Spot wasn’t coming, he’d left Race waiting for hours on their anniversary. Race felt sick to his stomach thinking of how excited he was only a couple hours ago, how he spent all day looking forward to this, weeks of- of hope and excitement and love. And this is what he got for it.

But maybe.

Another half hour. Race went home, tears blurring his vision.

He couldn’t feel his fingers or his toes by the time he arrived at the lodging house. A few of the older boys who were still up tried to ask him how it went. He ignored them. Stormed up the stairs and into the bunk room, to find Albert waiting up for him.

“Racer, how’d it-”

He cut himself off upon spotting the tear tracks on his best friends face.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” Race tore his boots off and climbed into his bunk. Glad that at least his best friend knew when not to push him. He’d have to talk with Albert about what happened in the morning, but for tonight he could wallow. And wallow he did. The moment he allowed himself to think of Spot and the disaster that was tonight, hot salty tears streamed down his face. It felt almost like they were burning him. Race just laid there, mulling over everything that happened and how hurt he was until his head was pounding and the tears stopped. Only then did his mind quiet and he fell into a blissfully dreamless sleep.

---

Race awoke to the piercing shriek of the morning bell. He groaned, yanking his pillow over his head and trying to block out the sounds of the boys getting ready. That, on top of the fact that he was so hot he was sweating, made him dread the coming day. He threw his thin blanket off of him in an attempt to cool down. He’s nearly back asleep when something clangs the bed frame near his head.

“Whadda fuck?” Race’s head was still ringing and getting up to sell was the last thing he wanted to do today.

“Up and at em, sleepyhead,” Albert proclaimed. Race groaned, he was so tired. “Oh man, you look like shit dude.”

Race cracked his eyes open just enough to glare at his best friend. “I feel like it too, now lee’me alone.” Race’s voice was so scratchy that it even surprised him.

“Maybe you shouldn’t sell today Racer,” Al sounded worried. He reached over to put his hand against Race’s forehead, but he batted his hand away and whined. Al frowned with concern.

Race was going to object, he really was, but his head was pounding, his throat hurt, and he wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep. He ended up grunting and turning over to go back to sleep.

“Hey Jack! Racer ain’t lookin’ too good-” Albert’s voice faded into the background.

Race slept fitfully for a few hours, always too hot or too cold and in too much pain to really sleep. He wanted Spot. Spot always knew how to make him feel better, where was Spot?

Maybe he could ask some of the other guys, he could hear their voices but struggled to make out what they were saying.

“really warm”

“out in the cold”

The voices were too distant for him to recognize so he couldn’t understand what was going on. Wasn’t he supposed to be meeting Spot, was he going to be late? Race tried to push through the fog in his mind but only succeeded in confusing himself more. Why was it so warm, wasn’t it autumn?

“bad condition”

“crying- Spot” That was definitely Albert’s voice.

Race whined, tears of frustration stinging his eyes. He was tired and confused and just generally feeling pretty awful and he wanted either Spot or Albert to come make it better. Having them around always made it better.

Fortunately, someone noticed he was awake and shortly after he had his favorite red-head by his side. Race sat up and grabbed at Albert’s arm, looking somewhere between lost and scared. “Albie…”

“Heya Racer,” Albert began, real gentle, “how’re you feelin’ bud?”

Race just whined and buried his head into Al’s shoulder. Even the idea of talking hurt.

“Yeah, I can imagine, Specs n’ Daves say you’re runnin’ an awful fever. It musta been from being out in the cold last night.”

Race’s head was swimming and he had a hard time focusing on what Al was saying, but he thought he got the gist of it. Wait… “Spo-”

He was quickly quieted by Albert handing him a glass of water and gesturing for him to drink. Where did he get that? He certainly didn’t have it when he climbed up to Race’s bunk. Race drank the water in small sips, with Albert watching, until he finished the glass. Al took it from his hands and handed it to someone standing at the side of the bed. Oh, so that’s how he got it. Race was so, so tired.

Just as he was drifting off, leaning entirely against his friend, he jolted. “Spot- I’m supposed to meet Spot,” Race barely managed to slur out. Albert shared a look with the other boys who Race still couldn’t be bothered to identify.

“He’s not-” The mystery voice was cut off by a swift kick from Al.

“I… I need to meet Spot, where is he? I wanna see Spot!”

“Race why don’t you lie down,” Albert tried to gently push him back down.

“No,” Race said indignantly, deliriously. “Spot!” he called out, half expecting him to be just out of sight, like Albert had been. Why wasn’t Spot coming? He was always there for Race, Spot wouldn’t leave him like this.

Finally, Albert grabbed his hand. Through gritted teeth he said, “Spot’ll be here soon, he just had some business to deal with in Brooklyn, why don’t you get some rest in the meantime so you’ll have some energy when he gets here?”

Oh. That made sense. Race nodded agreeably and allowed himself to be pulled down to rest his head in Albert’s lap. He was tempted to try and stay awake anyway but he was exhausted and Al’s hand in his hair felt really nice, so he surrendered himself to sleep once more.

Though, this caused him to completely miss the discussion that followed.

“Spot’s not coming, we haven’t spoken to him at all, why would you say that?”

Albert rolled his eyes, he liked the guy plenty. but sometimes Davey just didn’t get it. “He was completely out of it, we needed him to calm down and he wasn’t gonna do that without Spot bein’ here so I did the next best thing. Besides, he probably won’t even remember this when he wakes up.”

“Well… maybe we should go talk to Spot and see if he can check on Race.” Albert was hesitant to do that. If only because of what he had seen last night.

“Evening distribution starts soon, you’ll miss it completely if you go to Brooklyn, and I have to stay here with the dumbass who went and got himself sick.”

“Tomorrow, then?” Davey insisted. And, well, Albert certainly had a few things to say to Spot given Race’s expression when he got home last night, so it really didn’t take much convincing.

“Yeah, I’ll head over tomorrow and get Jack to watch Racer while I’m gone if he isn’t any better.” Davey looked pleased at that, he still wasn’t fond of lying but he understood the utility of it. He really was worried about Race, and if Race wanted Spot then he wasn’t sure why Albert needed any convincing at all, but then again maybe he was missing something. He tended to miss social things like this.

Davey was ripped from his musings by Albert, staring down at him from Race’s bunk, “You better get moving or you’ll miss distribution.”

“Oh yeah! I’ll see you around Albert.”

“You too, Daves,” Albert nodded to Davey as he exited the bunk room.

---

The next day saw almost no improvement. Race was still running a fever high enough to be seriously disoriented and was continually asking for Spot. And Albert, once he left.

So Albert was on his way to Brooklyn to ask Spot Conlon just what the fuck he thought he was doing to Albert’s best friend. He wasn’t one-hundred percent certain what happened, but he’d spent enough of the last day listening to Race’s whining and rambling to piece together that Spot hadn’t shown up and Race had been left waiting for him for hours. He was also tempted to blame Race’s sudden sickness on him too, if only because he was frustrated and angry on his friend’s behalf and didn’t have anywhere else to direct those emotions. And maybe Race wouldn’t be sick at all if he hadn’t been out there in the cold waiting for some bastard who wasn’t coming.

Once he reached the Brooklyn lodgings he knocked twice loudly and stood there, arms crossed and clearly displeased. It was Digs who opened the door, normally Albert thought she was pretty cool but he was in no mood to be friendly.

“What are you doing here?”

“Where’s Spot?” She looked a little taken aback by his tone, and narrowed her eyes.

“What’s it to you?”

“I need to have some words with him.”

Digs observed him warily, “I have to talk to Hotshot, wait in the common room and don’t touch anything. She allowed him inside and disappeared up the stairs. It was about two minutes before she returned, Brooklyn’s second in tow.

“Get outta here ‘hattan.”

“Not until I give Spot a piece of my mind.”

“Spot isn’t taking visitors right now, leave,” Hotshot ordered. Albert was pissed but wasn’t willing to risk a serious conflict between boroughs, for now at least.

“Got any idea when the all mighty King o’ Brooklyn will deign to see me then?”

“No, now leave before we make you.” Digs was standing silently by Hotshot’s side, she hadn’t said anything since returning but was obviously willing to back her second’s orders.

Albert glared at the other newsies, and made his way to the door. He paused before exiting. “Hey, Spot!”

His voice echoed throughout the old building.

“He waited for you, you know,” Albert spat out before storming out of the Brooklyn lodging house and going back to Manhattan to look after his best friend. Someone had to, and he clearly wasn’t going to be able to get through to Spot.

---

Race woke up around noon on the third day feeling much better. He was still kind of dehydrated and groggy, but it seemed his fever had broken. He dragged himself out of bed, careful not to lose his balance on the way down, and slowly changed into a cleaner set of clothes and grabbed himself a glass of water.

Once he finished his first glass and went to fill it up again he was interrupted by someone else entering the room.

Albert looked surprised. “It’s good to see you on your feet, Racer. You feelin’ better?”

Race downed half his glass before answering. “Yeah,” he said, voice still raspy.

Albert smiled, then gently grabbed the glass from his hands and topped it back up. “”M glad, but Specs’d kill me if he found out I was lettin’ you overexert yourself when I was supposed to be lookin’ after you. And before you start poutin’, I’ll sit with you, Jack n’ some of the other boys have been pitching in to cover us so I can stay and babysit you.”

Race started pouting anyways. “I don’t need no babysittin’!” Race frowned, “An’ I don’t like the idea o’ the other boys needing to pay for us, especially when I was the only one who couldn’t sell.”

Albert snorted. “Too bad you big baby, you were outta commission and someone had to look after ya sorry ass.” Albert nudged him back towards the stairs. “Now c’mon, we got some stuff we need to talk about.”

Race followed him back up the stairs and to the bunk room, admittedly confused. He hadn’t been out of it that long, what could he have missed?

Albert took a seat on his own bed and gestured for Race to sit with him. Once he did Al handed him the glass back. Race took a few small sips. “So what did you wanna talk about?”

“Well the night before you got sick you were kinda a mess,” Albert began, “and then you had a nasty fever and seemed pretty upset about what happened. I think I got the basics but you were pretty incoherent…”

Oh yeah, that. Even the mention of that night made Race’s throat tighten. His hands started shaking slightly and Al once again removed the cup from his grasp.

Race sucked in a shuddering breath. “So uhh… basically? Spot never showed up, I waited for hours and- and I just kept thinking ‘Maybe he’ll be here in a few minutes and if I leave I’ll miss him’” Race trailed off.

“I only left once it was too cold and it was clear that… that Spot had either forgotten about me, didn’t care, or something bad had happened to him.” Race sniffled.

Albert looked kind of heartbroken on his behalf. He wrapped an arm around him and pulled Race into his side. “I went to go talk to Spot yesterday,” Albert admitted.

“You what?” Race turned to face his friend.

“I knew something had happened between you two and you kept asking after him.” Race flushed with embarrassment. “I wanted to find out for sure what happened, maybe give him a piece of my mind, and see if he could come see you. Figured he’d want to know you were sick, why wouldn’t he? Anyways, he wouldn’t speak to me at all and some of his newsies wouldn’t even let me see him.”

Race looked down and balled his fists in his pants. So Spot had really just stood him up and then refused to even talk to his best friend. They’d been together a year and Race thought he knew him, though with how things were looking, maybe not. He fully curled into Albert’s side. He didn’t want to think about Spot anymore, he just wanted to fall asleep to the sound of someone who actually cared about him breathing.

---

Four days after the anniversary Race was back on his feet, well enough to sell, and hadn’t seen hide nor hair of Spot. He spent the day in Manhattan on Jack’s orders. Couldn’t risk something happening to him too far away from home.

However, the day after he was allowed to return to Sheepshead once again. He was sort of expecting to run into Spot. After everything and Race not selling for a few days he thought that Spot would at least care enough to come talk to him. Then again he thought Spot wouldn’t ditch him like he did, so maybe it was a problem with Race’s judgement. Race just sold and went home, not feeling up to betting or waiting around for Spot. Again.

The pattern continued like this for a few days, Race would show up to sell, maybe chat with any Brooklyn newsies he came across, then leave. Whenever he tried to ask about Spot they just deflected. It was really starting to get on Race’s nerves.

If Spot wanted to break up with him why couldn’t he say it to Race’s face instead of hiding away like a coward. Everyday he waited for Spot to make the first move, Race wasn’t the one in the wrong here! And everyday he heard nothing.

Well Race was sick of waiting around for stupid Spot.

---

“Race? What are you doin’ here?”

“‘M here to see Spot.” Well, more specifically he was there to chew Spot out and possibly end their relationship if he didn’t have a damn good explanation for his recent behavior. He loved Spot, he really did but Race was not going to allow himself to be treated like this. He deserved better than someone who hurt him like this. But he wasn't gonna dump all that on a kid, especially one who could stop him from doing so.

The kid, Flicker, hesitated. “Spot’s not seeing anybody right now.”

“Well can’t I be an exception?”

“I’m really not supposed to…”

Flicker seemed very conflicted. Race didn’t want to use the kid but… he knew Flicker kind of looked up to him. It wouldn’t be too hard to persuade him to let him in.

“Please Flicks?” Using that nickname was dirty, but Race was at the end of his rope. Hopefully Flicker wouldn’t hold it against him.

His expression was downright pained. “I-”

Race gave him his most pleading look. “Listen, this is really important to me, I have to see Spot. You can trust me, can’t you?”

Flicker finally gave in. He glanced around nervously before quietly and quickly saying, “Spot’s in the refuge. Has been for a little over a week. We’s not supposed to say nothin’ bout it to anyone though.”

[fedeipox]

The Way of Time (Rdr2 fanfic) - Chapter 6 (1/3)

Finally back after the Holidays! I ate so much I am embarrassed to say...

Previously on TWoT: Emily, a girl from 2020, ends up in 1899. Her life changes drastically but she seems to find some comfort in the people she happens to live with: the Van Der Linde gang. Even though things in camp seem to go well, outside camp the world is full of dangers, some little, some big, that make Emily remember day after day that she isn’t in 2020 anymore. Now it is time to prove herself and the gang what she can do. 

Chapter 6 (1/3) - Horses and O’Driscolls

Words: 2,2k

That morning Emily woke up with an unusual heartbeat and kept feeling that way until Mr. Morgan announced he was leaving. She still couldn’t understand what attraction had that kind of wandering: he didn’t even visit towns, he just roamed in the countryside, camped among the mud and weeds, and spent a lot of time on his horse. Without considering how dangerous it was: he had no mobile phone - of course in 1899 they didn’t exist yet - and if something had happened, if his horse had sprained his ankle, if he had fallen in a pit, if someone had attacked him, if the law had caught him eventually, they would have never known. 

In the end she went to say goodbye, with a long face that made her look like a child who hasn’t received her favorite toy from Santa Clause. 

Fortunately for her, over the next days she would have had a lot to think about: Miss Grimshaw kept her busy for some other little job; she had started to practice with Charles how to calm a horse, how to read its physical signs, how to mount and dismount, and how to take care of it; Jack asked for her everyday and she had to come up with a couple of different games to play; and then there was that illegal practice by the doctor in Valentine which intrigued her, and from time to time she went looking for Javier to know if he had found out something new.

One day, it was a cloudy day, with those heavy dark clouds that make you understand the rain might come every moment, Emily was in the kitchen, washing the plates and chatting with Mrs. Adler. She was still grieving for her husband and she wasn’t really in a talking mood, but Emily tried all she could to make her feel better. She couldn’t fully understand how Sadie was feeling, because she had never lost someone: her only family were her parents and an old uncle, she had lost her grandparents when she was young and didn’t remember much of them. 

But even if it was difficult, she tried to focus Sadie’s attention on something else, asking her what she thought about the camp, about the country, if she wanted to go to town someday with her, everything that could distract her, and from now and then she noticed that Sadie glimpsed at the man tied at the tree right behind the kitchen, who was perfectly visible from where the basin to wash the dishes was. Maybe she new something about him that Emily didn’t.

“What do you think he has done?” she asked nodding towards the prisoner.

In those days she had walked many times in front of him, but she had never stopped to talk. She didn’t trust him, even though Mary-Beth had told her he was harmless. 

“Something bad for sure. He’s an O’Driscoll” replied Sadie with a low growling voice full of despise.

“What does it mean? What is an O’Driscoll?” she asked.

“They are the sons of bitches who killed my husband.” Emily raised her eyebrows and opened her mouth, moving her eyes from Sadie to the prisoner.

“You mean… he was there that day?”

“No, not him. His friends.”

“So, what has he done? Why is he tied there?”

“Whatever he’s done, I hope they let him rot there for the rest of his days.”

Sadie made sure to pronounce those last words loud enough to be heard by the man, who did nothing apart from closing his eyes and taking a sigh.

Emily was shocked by Sadie’s cruelty. After all, he had nothing to do with her husband’s death, he was part of the same group, that was true, but she couldn’t tar them all with the same brush. 

So, the mystery of the tied man was still chasing her, and when she finished with the dishes, she went looking for Hosea: if someone could unravel her doubts, that was him. She found him near the horses with a big map in his hands, which he was studying carefully. She walked closer and as always she first asked what he was doing, intrigued by that big piece of yellowish paper.

“It’s a map of some big rare animals. A man at the saloon gave it to me this morning and I was having a look” he said showing her the little animals drawings.

“Are you going to hunt them?”

“I’d like to. There are a couple of interesting animals, like this bear here, up the Cumberland Forest. People in town say he’s huge, a real monster. But I need someone to come with me. I’m too old to hunt it on myself.”

“Oh come on! You can’t be this old” she said kneeling down next to him, and for a moment they looked like a man with his granddaughter seated at his feet ready to hear another story from the past.

“I’m old enough” he laughed.

The two of them exchanged a sweet smile.

“Anyway, I came to ask you about the man you keep as hostage. Sadie told me he is an… O’Driscoll? What does it mean?”

Hosea took a deep sigh and then started with the long story about the feud between Dutch and Colm O’Driscoll. Luckily, he had nothing better to do, so he educated Emily about the different gangs, who they were, their way of doing things, why they claimed to be different from them. And so Emily finally had the answer to the presence of so many girls, a child and even the reverend. She learned that everybody was part of that group because Dutch had saved them from a life of misery, or because they had saved Dutch somehow. She also had the certainty that what was written in that little newspaper cutting under Arthur’s tent was true: once they used to steal from the rich to help the poor, but now with so many mouths to feed and the law constantly on their heels, that kind of charity was out of question.

“So, what has that man done? Why is he tied?” she asked in the end.

“He’s there for questioning, and without a little persuasion Colm’s boys never speak openly.”

“Are you telling me that he’s probably done nothing? And you’re keeping him in that conditions anyway?”

Emily felt sorry. She felt sorry because in the past week she could have helped that man, bring him the water he asked, exchange a few words with him to make him feel better, talk with Dutch and try to find another solution, but she didn’t because she had fallen under the spell of prejudice and stereotype, something that she had always sweared not to do.

“That’s barbaric” she whispered, but she was talking about the other’s behavior as much as hers. 

“It’s necessary. If he runs back to his friends and gives away our position, we’re all dead.”

She left Hosea and reached Charles seated on a small footstool next to the fire, not the one at the centre of camp, where they used to sit and eat, but the external one, the one they called ‘scout fire' for the people on guard duty. He had told her to reach him there every day around eleven o’clock for their lesson.

Among all the people in camp, Charles was the most patient, generous and hard-working of them all, but because of his robustness was also considered one of the most dangerous. Emily had tried to think of him in those terms, imagining how fierce he had to be with his enemies, with that stoic expression of his, but then he opened his mouth and a calm and reassuring voice came out. No, it was impossible to think of him as a bad man.

“Hi, Charles. I’m ready” she said walking closer.

“You better change your clothes before. Put on them jeans you have.”

“W-why?”

“You need to be more comfortable this time, we’re going out.”

Out? Did he mean out of camp? At last! She hadn’t put a foot out of that camp since Arthur had left. Due to the fact that she still wasn’t able to ride a horse and that she couldn’t take a wagon if not in the presence of a man, she hadn’t had the audacity to ask anyone in camp to accompany her again. Besides, the idea of Valentine, with its stink, its muck and its rude citizens, wasn’t appealing. 

Emily didn’t inquire further on the matter of leaving camp and walked to her tent where she changed her skirt with her jeans. Then, she went back to Charles feeling incredibly nervous but thrilled at the same time. She still hadn’t acquired a good familiarity with horses: she was more confident in touching them and mounting and dismounting, but far from being ready to ride. 

Charles made her mount on Taima and then he took the reins, walking out of camp and thought the wood. When they reached a plain a little out of the woods, Charles gave her the reins and told her how to give Taima the commands: walk, speed up, slow down, turn left or right, and stop. He told her she needed to give a little whip of the reins and a kick with the heels to make her move, and so she did.

“Now stay calm. Horses can sense fear or insecurity, you have to show her who is in command.”

“In command, yes. I-I don’t really feel like I’m commanding her.”

“But you are. Come on, make her walk in a circle, all around me.”

The lesson went on for a while. With every circle, Emily felt more and more secure on the saddle and her movements where smoother. When Charles saw she was making some progress, he thought it was enough for the day and they finally headed back.

“When do you think I’ll be ready to go on my own?” she asked.

“It’s hard to say. You’re getting better, but you still have a lot to learn. It’s easy to control a horse when it’s calm, the hard part is control it when it gets skittish.”

“They truly are the most stupid animals in the world. How it comes they are so big and strong and yet afraid of their own shadow?”

“Instinct to survive.”

“I guess. Anyway, thank you, Charles. For all you’re doing, for teaching me. You’re really kind. You all are. Are you sure you are criminals?”

“So says the bounty on our heads.”

“I still don’t get you. Why don’t you take some money from a bank and buy some land? It would be far much easier. You all make a great group.”

“When we don’t turn one against the other.”

“Yeah, well… every family has its flaws.”

Charles’s words echoed in her head for a while, about the bounty on their heads, and she wondered what they could have possibly done. Hosea had told her that Dutch had killed a girl, but she still couldn’t believe it: looking at them, at their faces, she couldn’t think they were capable of killing someone, she didn’t want to believe it, she didn’t want to think of them as murderers, not Hosea, not Charles, and especially not Arthur.

She was brought back to reality by Lenny, who shouted a “who’s there” when they reached the camp.

Emily decided to change her clothes again to avoid her jeans, her precious only pair of jeans, to get dirty, so she wore the brown skirt again, before she went looking for Javier. That was the only thing she could do, walk around and annoy people with questions, and sometimes with simply her presence. 

She found him seated at a table polishing a gun and she took a little sigh before approaching him: why they had to keep always those things in their hands? Walking closer she also noticed he had changed his clothes too and now he was wearing a big grey Mexican-style hat. 

“If I had a doubt about your provenience before, now I can’t be mistaken” she joked sitting on the table and catching his attention. 

“Before you ask me again, yes, I’ve been back to Valentine and had a look” he said.

Emily laughed at his annoyed tone. That poor man was right, she had been asking him about the doctor almost everyday, sometimes even more than once at day. 

“What did you find?” she asked.

He put down the gun and looked at her right in the eye. 

“There is another iron door in the back of the building, just like the one on the inside. This means we can’t get in from the back, we need to convince the doctor to open the door for us.”

“Well, that seems easy enough. You just have to make him open the door, take the money and leave.”

“It’s not that easy” Javier chuckled.

“Why not?”

“First of all, we don’t know how many men there are behind that door. Second, the sheriff’s office if right beside the doctor’s, and if he should hear something’s wrong and comes checking, I’m a dead man.”

“So, we need a plan of attack” she said as she felt a thrill run down her back and suddenly she was so excited she could barely sit still on the table.

[nellie-elizabeth]

Supernatural: Despair (15x18)

I'm having an out of body experience, I cannot believe this. Last night was legitimately one of the weirdest nights of my life, and not just because of *gestures broadly* but also because of *gestures broadly* and myriad other small but still totally bizarre personal things coming at me from all angles... strap in, y'all, I've got some shit to say.

Cons:

We're gonna talk about it. Ohhhh, we're gonna talk about it. But let's start with some other shit before we get there.

So... are we ignoring "Dean was willing to let Jack sacrifice himself" or something? Like there was that moment with Sam and Dean where they talked about it, and Dean apologizes for pulling a gun on Sam, and Sam is like "oh it's okay Dean, no worries." But at the beginning of this episode, Dean seems to be just as worried for Jack, and as protective of him, as the others, with absolutely no acknowledgment of what happened in the last episode. This... should have mattered. There should have been some regrouping and some serious talks about this. Seriously.

The Thanos snap thing... guys, when Infinity War did it in 2018, it was kind of fun and shocking and cool, and we knew the deaths wouldn't be permanent but it was still wild to watch our heroes react to such an immense loss and then leave us all in limbo for a year. This... is not that. The sheer tone-deafness of having this episode contain a moment of domesticity for AU!Charlie and her cool egg-making girlfriend Stevie, only to have Stevie vanish... and then to end the episode with the biggest queer-bait/bury your gays moment imaginable... like...

Okay, sorry, no, saving the Destiel thing until I've sorted out the rest of this nonsense. The point is, seems pretty clear that the deaths in this episode (other than Cas') are temporary, and Supernatural already has the biggest power creep problem of any show I've ever seen... they really couldn't think of another way to up the stakes for the ending, other than doing the thing where everyone gets killed? Didn't... Crowley... already do this to them several seasons back? Am I hallucinating? There's nothing new under the sun with this show.

Why does this show introduce things and resolve them in a single episode? Like, big, huge things? We just figured out Death was trying to double-cross them, and now by the end she's dead? This show either limps along and does nothing, or speeds through plot stuff at lightning-speed. These last two episodes were big and dramatic and full of Plot but in a way where it all feels kind of unreal. Pacing issues like whoa.

And speaking of. Ahem. Okay. Let's... let's do this. I have some things about the Destiel scene that I'm going to put in the "pros" section below, and hopefully as you read on you'll understand why it's really hard for me to be black and white about it. If I had to, if I had to determine whether I am "happy" or "sad" or "grateful" or "angry" I'd say... sad and angry, 97%? Like? Let's dive in, here.

Setting aside the larger context, a couple of smaller notes:

Acting-wise, what the fuck was Jensen doing in this scene? Misha was acting his whole heart out and Jensen gave him nothing to play off of. I don't understand how Jensen accidentally played Dean so obviously in love with Cas all this time, and then in this moment, no-homo'd it so fucking hard. Even the stage directions in the script page that was floating around said that Dean didn't reciprocate. That's dumb, like, in a shipping sense it's disappointing, but also... Dean, what was your face doing while Cas gave his whole monologue about how amazing you are? What a great and loving man you are? Even if he hadn't ended the whole thing by saying "I love you" and then dying right in front of your eyes, surely you would have been feeling some kind of way about the whole situation?

Also, the scene was shot so awkwardly, there was too much space between them, and then Cas pushes Dean out of the way and he just sits there on the floor with Pikachu-face while The Empty opens up and takes Death and Cas away, making these weird shocked noises... Supernatural often has awkward pacing when dramatic things are happening in action scenes, where certain people have to stand still like it's not their turn on the initiative order in a D&D fight or something, and this was one of the more embarrassing and awkward examples of that.

Cas' deal with The Empty has not been brought up practically since it happened. Cas has been sidelined as a character a lot this season, the past couple seasons, really, but we had this hanging over our heads, right? When Cas says "I've figured it out, true happiness isn't in having, it's just in saying it", the moment doesn't really work on a character level, because we didn't get to see Cas do any of that figuring out. We didn't know he was curious about his true happiness, we didn't know it was an internal struggle/debate for him, wondering what it could be. A lot of Destiel people wanted it to be Dean confessing his love to Cas, and that being the true happiness... but of course that would never happen in a million years. Others thought it would be "yay we defeated the big evil, we can all be a happy family together," oh snap, I'm too happy, goodbye. Which would have been... weirdly anticlimactic, but at least would have made some level of narrative sense. This idea that telling Dean how he feels would bring Cas peace is... well, it's okay, it's fine in isolation, but there's no buildup to it, no tension to his moment of "realization."

And now to fry some bigger fish...

Let's forget about the fact that we never thought this would happen to begin with. Is it actually... worse that it did? Seriously, queer angel man confesses his love to stoic human man who stands there without making a single expression, and the act of confessing said love, knowing it's not reciprocated, knowing he won't get to be with Dean or even be near him ever again, is enough to make Castiel so truly happy that he's willing to die peacefully and forever, all in the act of saving Dean's life? Is that not... like... textbook homophobia? People toss around "bury your gays" a lot and I think what they're missing is that the trope doesn't automatically apply just because a queer character dies. It means a queer character dies because of their queerness, or they are revealed to be queer but can't get any measure of happiness and then they die immediately. This is textbook that. The act of confessing his GAY LOVE is what KILLED CAS. It's a one-to-one sequence of events. It's not a coincidence that Cas died right after saying this. Saying this is what made him die. That's... appalling. Truly, in a very real sense, it's appalling.

Another thing I haven't seen people talk about much is the manufactured nature of this sacrifice. We just found out Billie was going to turn on them at the end of the last episode. If Cas was going to die in a sacrifice-y way, did it have to happen now when Billie was basically just knocking on the door trying to get at Dean for a last-minute revenge thing, even though Billie was already at death's door? This was so contrived, like, can Cas not whoosh them away to somewhere else? Keep them running until Billie succumbs? I get that it wouldn't have been easy, and maybe Billie could have caught up to them anyway, but my point is, they manufactured this moment to be "the only way" that Dean could survive, making Cas' sacrifice so noble and necessary or whatever... but I was sitting there thinking there's got to be another way. If they'd wanted to write in another way, there could have been. The inevitability felt so very contrived. And, as mentioned, the impact of dying on this show has lost all meaning, so even Billie trying to kill Dean, squeezing his heart in his chest, did absolutely nothing for me. I knew he'd be fine, because there are two more episodes left. And if Cas hadn't been there to do what he did, Dean would still have been fine because he's Dean. Am I making any sense?

We have two more episodes left. I am... fairly confident Misha won't be in those episodes. All context, both within the show and without, points to that. I truly think that after all this time, he gets the only ending in the whole show that's unambiguously unsalvageable and tragic. We have a world where the afterlife exists and people can hang out there, but The Empty is a different beast, and this means Cas is... gone. Permanently. Like, his consciousness no longer exists, he's caput. They could bring him back from The Empty, in fact, they've already done it once... but if they decide not to, that's just... where we leave things, and that's brutal and unnecessarily grim. The other characters, even if we get an end-of-show TPK (which would be STUPID, more on that later), could at least have canon or implied-canon reunions in the afterlife. If we don't see Eileen again, we can get the implied ending of her coming back to life, or Sam dying and joining her in Heaven. Same with Charlie, with Charlie's new girlfriend, with Bobby, with Donna, with every other character that's died along the way, including Mary Winchester and OG Charlie, OG Bobby, whatever you want. The fact that Cas gets this, after everything, is truly the part I'm the most sad about, setting aside love confessions entirely.

So as I said, two more episodes. I'm worried that Cas dying is gonna get swallowed up with everyone dying and not get its due, thus making the confession completely isolated. Like, here you go, gays, have this one scene, which, in isolation is quite heartfelt from Cas' perspective, but can be carefully boxed up and not touched for the last two hours of the show. If they don't want to touch on how this would affect Dean specifically, they don't have to. He can be generally angsty and sad about Cas, but they could get away with never bringing it up again, and that is some grade-A level bullshit right there, my friends. At minimum, Dean needs to tell Sam about this. He probably won't, but he should, if the show has any sense of integrity left in its bones.

Ahem. Like I said, I have... lots of thoughts. More on Destiel later, but let's turn to the "Pros" section and talk about some other aspects of this incredibly crowded episode.

Pros:

Despite my issues with everything that didn't get resolved re: Dean letting Jack die, I did kind of like the "to somehow" scene, because it was a nice little breather for the brothers, it solidified them as being on the same side to the bitter end, that despite all the crazy shit they've been through, that they've put each other through, they'll have this as a bedrock at the end of the day. I'm not a brothers-only sort of fan, at all, in fact, I think a brothers-only ending betrays most of what's beautiful about this show in its good moments. But they are the stars, they are the protagonists, they should be the center of their own story, and I like it when we get check-ins like this, that shows how unshakable they are underneath all the other crap.

Charlie and Stevie... okay, cute that their names are like that, cute that Charlie said: "I liked the way she handled herself" and that's how they got together... eggs are cute, whatever... and if these deaths are impermanent, which... come on... they have to be, I do like that Charlie gets to have a girlfriend and be happy as a hunter and as someone's partner.

I liked the tense car ride with Sam texting Eileen, with Dean, Jack, and Cas all silent in the car with him... that was a nice moment of solidarity, all of them entirely on the same page about being there for Sam and helping Eileen however they could... even knowing the futility. What were they going to do when they got there? That was a great tension-building moment, in isolation, even though the deaths are likely temporary.

Cas and Jack's talk was good, I'll admit I've definitely been won over by Cas and Sam as Jack's dads... Dean too, once upon a time, but dude needs to do some groveling before he gets to be Dad again, seriously. It's nice that in the midst of all the chaos, there was a check-in moment. Jack is the embodiment of a lot of our end-game themes, here. He had a noble destiny to sacrifice himself, and then it fizzled out and didn't work, and now he's just left in the aftermath, not sure what to do with himself. It was important that Cas tell him that Jack is worthy of love and family, even if he's not "useful" in the way he thought he could be. Definitely nice to have that nailed in.

If we're following the Infinity War/Endgame line, the last two episodes will be majority Sam, Dean, and Jack, but at the last moment there will be a way to reverse it, and everyone else will come back in a moment of triumph. But probably not so much Castiel, which... well... see above complaints. The point is, seeing Charlie, Bobby, Donna, Eileen, etc. all burst forth for one final moment of glory could be really cool, if they manage to stick the landing with it. It'll be an incredibly manufactured sense of triumph and nostalgia, but it will probably work on me because it's been... guys, I don't know if you know this, but it's been kind of an emotional year. :)

I will say, working under the assumption that the dead characters will come back, I'm actually oddly... not mad about Donna dying. It was actually a legitimately shocking twist. A rule was set up: if a person had died before and been resurrected, or if a person was from another universe, they could be Thanos snapped by Billie. Makes sense. Sam and Dean are in danger because of all their deaths, Jack and Cas aren't safe for the same reason. Charlie, Bobby, Eileen... sure. But Donna should have been safe, given the parameters we started with.

And then Dean and Cas are confronting Billie, she says she's not killing anyone, we realize it must be Chuck... and then Donna, who isn't from another world, who has never died... GONE. I gasped.

And the hits kept coming... Billie is dying because Dean killed her with that small wound, and didn't even know it. That's another excellent twist. The past two episodes, back to back, have kept me on my toes about who to ultimately be afraid of. Chuck? Billie? The Empty? It's so much better than this slow march to Chuck vs. Sam and Dean that we've been getting all season, even if we do loop around to Chuck again as the final Big Bad.

The Empty is actually quite a complex, interesting idea for a villain, this entity that doesn't get involved in petty squabbles, doesn't have personal vendettas, but actually just wants to sleep and be left alone. Having Meg be the Empty's face here at the end is also a nice touch. I wish we could have had more of this, truthfully, and I'm curious how The Empty will play a role in how things shake out, if at all.

So... I want to go back to something I've been saying these past couple episodes, about how if this show has a grimdark ending, it will be a betrayal of everything they've set up. It will be so stupid that my anger will manifest in yet another round of hysterical giggles. What I suspect is that we'll get something peaceful, something where trauma will linger but people will get to start anew. Maybe Jack creates a new world outside of Chuck's power. Maybe Sam and Dean take over as God and the Darkness, as some people suggested, and Jack is the new Death. Maybe maybe maybe. Bottom line, I could be satisfied with the majority of this ending, and I can even (obliquely, reluctantly) understand that they wanted one final perma-death to really make the stakes feel higher. If they aren't killing off the Winchesters, that leaves Castiel. So what I'm saying in this paragraph is basically that I'm not guaranteed to despise the ending of this show yet. They could still get it right.

God, that sounds pretty bleak, doesn't it?

Before I end this, I want to talk about, as promised, the few Destiel-related points that I'd classify as "pros", albeit with a big asterisk.

First off, Misha clearly found the moment very cathartic, and he pulled out all the stops, and, in isolation, the confession was hella romantic and quite poignant. Without context, just reading these lines? "The one thing I want, it's something I know I can't have" and "because you cared, I cared. I cared about you, I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack, I cared about the whole world because of you..." like, that's some premium content, I won't lie. I also kind of enjoy the idea that Cas finds happiness in saying the words out loud, in being true to who he is. I hate a lot about what happened to Cas here, but if Cas' arc, in its totality, is about embracing humanity, and Dean is the anchor to that, this really does come full circle. He pulled Dean out of Hell, he saved him, he loved him, he'll die for him, and in accepting that love, that human love, he is finally at peace with who he is. Now, mind my comments above, I'm still not happy, but I can see how in one sense, this is narratively poignant. And if others are satisfied with it, I'm happy for them.

(Added bonus, while Jensen's acting was WACK for the majority of that scene, I did like the ending shot, the silence, him not answering Sam's call, crying silently into his hands. That was very nicely shot and acted, I thought.)

Secondly, and this isn't actually praise for the show, it's more a... meta experience? I have to say, the idea that Destiel became sort of canon, but in the most homophobic way possible, in the year 2020, while we're all still waiting for election results to come in is... one of the wildest, most hilarious things to ever have happened to me. I mean it, last night sitting alone in my house I kept cackling loudly to myself, in complete and utter disbelief. I saw Tumblr explode in a way that hasn't happened in years. I was transported back in time nearly a full decade, to the person I was when I started writing these reviews, or even before that, when I was new to Supernatural, new to the whole concept of being truly involved in a fandom.

Here's the thing... I never. Ever. EVER. Thought we would get any sort of textual confirmation. I thought at most, if they went for a happy ending for everyone, we'd get Dean and Cas as hunting partners, and we could all fill in the post-canon gaps. I once told my sister that I'd be happy with a one-sided love confession from Cas to Dean, because that part was practically canon before last night, and in a way, I am happy. I'm happy that this crazy thing actually happened, and if nothing else, all of those clowns can put away their makeup. I was never with them. I never believed, and there's this sliver of me that's happy to have been wrong. It's completely bogus how it happened, but the fact that we live in a reality where it happened is still kind of tripping me out in a major way. So I'm happy, I'm... flabbergasted, but I'm experiencing a very unique, unprecedented soup of emotions this morning and I never would have felt like this if Cas had died with a no homo parting.

And that's the thing, they let it be unambiguously about Dean, not just in that one moment, but all along, and that's really satisfying in a meta narrative sense that when everyone was reading it as "Castiel is in love with Dean," they were... correct. It doesn't really matter when they decided this, in last night's episode they made it crystal-clear that it wasn't a whim, wasn't a recent development, in-universe. This has been Cas' truth from very, very early on, his entire experience since meeting Dean has been shaped by him, he's loved him all this time. That... I don't know, it's absolutely bonkers that this is all we're going to get, but it does mean something, if you want to let it.

Welcome back to 2012, Tumblr. Last night was a wild ride, I won't deny.

I'm giving the episode a bad score, but I just want to say the Destiel scene gets a simultaneous infinity-out-of-ten and also zero-out-of-ten, imploding the multiverse instantly. That's where I'm at, folks. Insert gif of Chidi dropping Peeps into a big pot of chili. I'm gonna go take a nap.

6/10

[introvertguide]

The Wizard of Oz (1939); AFI #10

The next movie up for review from the AFI Top 100 is the most watched film of all time and likely the film I have seen all the way through the most times, The Wizard of Oz (1939). This film opens with what is rated as the very best song in film history. It continues with what is rated as the most well known moment in movie history. It moves forward with what is rated as one of the most well known plot lines in movie history. The movie ends with one of the most well known quotes in movie history. The shoes worn by the lead actress are one of the most popular exhibits in the Smithsonian Museum and listed as the most valuable and treasured film memorabilia in movie history. I am proud to say I know and love this film and am happy to discuss why it is so great. In case you have lived in a cave or been in a coma for 75 years, I will very briefly go over the story. For once I am not doing a spoiler warning. This breakdown is very non-specific and if you don’t know the story of the most watched film of all time that has been around for 80 years, that’s on you.

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Dorothy Gale (Judy Garland) lives with her dog Toto on a Kansas farm belonging to her Aunt Em (Clara Blandick) and Uncle Henry (Charley Grapewin). Toto bites neighbor Miss Almira Gulch (Margaret Hamilton) on the leg, leading her to obtain a sheriff's order to have the dog killed. Miss Gulch takes Toto away, but he escapes and returns to Dorothy; she decides to run away to save her dog. Not far from the farm, Dorothy runs into Professor Marvel (Frank Morgan), a fortune-teller who uses his crystal ball to make the young girl believe that Aunt Em is heartbroken. Dorothy rushes home as a tornado approaches. Aunt Em, Uncle Henry, and the farmhands take shelter in the storm cellar and lock it behind them. Dorothy has to seek shelter in her bedroom, where the window is blown in and hits her on the head, knocking her unconscious. The house is sent spinning into the air, and she awakens to see various figures fly by, including Miss Gulch, who transforms into a witch on a broomstick.

The house lands with a sudden bump and Dorothy goes out to find that the land outside her house is a world of very bright color. She has landed in Munchkinland in the Land of Oz. The switch from sepia tone to color might be the most famous moment in cinema history. Glinda the Good Witch of the North and the Munchkins welcome her as a heroine, as the falling house has killed the Wicked Witch of the East. The Munchkins sing to her and offer her many gifts as the Wicked Witch had long terrorized the country. Suddenly, her sister, the Wicked Witch of the West (Margaret Hamilton again), arrives to claim her sister's ruby slippers, but Glinda transfers them onto Dorothy's feet. Enraged, the Wicked Witch swears revenge on Dorothy and vanishes. Glinda tells Dorothy to follow the Yellow Brick Road to Emerald City, where she can ask the Wizard of Oz to help her return home. On her journey, Dorothy meets the Scarecrow (Ray Bolger), who wants a brain; the Tin Woodman (Jack Haley), who seeks a heart; and the Cowardly Lion (Bert Lahr), who desires courage. She invites them to accompany her and ask the Wizard for what they lack. Despite the Witch's attempts to stop them with sleeping spells and other magic, they reach the city. The group is stopped at the door by a guard (Frank Morgan again), let in and driven on a color changing horse (by a character played by Frank Morgan), and then taken by a soldier (again played by Frank Morgan) to see the Wizard (once again, played by Frank Morgan), who appears as a giant ghostly head. He agrees to grant their requests if they bring him the broomstick of the Wicked Witch of the West.

As they make their way to the Witch's castle, the Witch captures Dorothy and plots to kill her, as she cannot remove the slippers otherwise. Toto escapes and leads her three friends to the castle. They ambush three guards, don their uniforms, and free Dorothy. The Witch and more guards pursue and surround them. The Witch sets fire to the Scarecrow, causing Dorothy to toss a bucket of water on him, inadvertently splashing the Witch, who melts until only her black witch outfit remains. The guards rejoice and give Dorothy her broomstick. Upon their return, the Wizard stalls in fulfilling his promises until Toto pulls back a curtain, exposing the "Wizard" as a fraud operating machinery. Admitting to being a humbug, he insists he is "a good man, but a bad wizard." He gives the Scarecrow a diploma, the Lion a medal, and the Tin Man a ticking heart-shaped clock, helping them see that they already possessed the qualities they wanted. He offers to take Dorothy and Toto home in his hot air balloon, revealing that he is also from Kansas, and was originally a carnival showman before his balloon escaped the Earth and brought him to the Emerald City.

As Dorothy and the Wizard prepare to depart, the Wizard places the Scarecrow in charge of Emerald City, with the Tin Man and the Lion as his aides. Toto leaps from Dorothy's arms. As Dorothy pursues Toto, the balloon departs with the Wizard. Glinda then appears and tells Dorothy that she has always had the power to return home using the ruby slippers. After Dorothy bids the Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Lion goodbye, Glinda instructs her to tap her heels together three times and say, "There's no place like home." When Dorothy does, she wakes up in her bedroom, surrounded by her family and friends. Everyone dismisses her adventure as a dream, but Dorothy insists it was real. She says she will never run away again and declares, "There's no place like home!"

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Let me mention the one and only thing that bothered me about the story and that is the fate of Toto. The dog is not cleared of biting Gulch and would still be scheduled to die. Whether or not the victim is dead, the sheriff would still have his order to kill the dog. I would have liked a throw away line saying that the dog was pardoned. I imagine that the dog was given a reprieve, but there is no evidence of this and falls squarely to my own imagination.

Although not listed as the greatest American movie, the AFI has put this movie on more top lists than any other film. The Wicked Witch of the West was the #4 villain, “Over the Rainbow” was the #1 song, “Toto, I have a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore” is the #4 quote, the movie is #43 in thrills and #26 in cheers, and it is the #3 musical and the #1 fantasy. In the last 30 years, the movie was in the inaugural 25 movies to go on the National Film Registry, listed on UNESCO’s Memory of the World, and placed as one of the top 100 movies by the BFI, Total Film, Sight and Sound, Entertainment Weekly, Bravo, Rolling Stone, and The Village Voice. There really is no question as to the value of this film and its iconic place in film history.

Like many other films, however, this film had a lot of problems in production. Famously so. Wicked Witch actress Margaret Hamilton was burned very badly with pyrotechnics during the fiery exit from Munchkinland. The Tin Man was supposed to be played by Buddy Ebsen, but the original paint used for the costume was toxic and Ebsen was rushed to the hospital and had to leave the project completely. The opening song was set to be cut for time, but the director fought for it. Speaking of directors, the film started out with Norman Taurog, who was replaced by Richard Thorpe, who was replaced by George Cukor briefly (who eventually became an advisor), who was finally replaced by Victor Fleming. The direction of the film that is now known and loved was mostly the idea of Cukor despite Fleming getting the credit. 

The actors also had a difficult time with the shoot because of the whole studio system of the 30s and 40s. The producers did not recognize the toxic effects of the makeup on the actors until one of them was hospitalized. Most of the main actors had dual roles (this includes the witch, the lion, the tin man, the scarecrow, and the man playing the wizard had 5 speaking roles) and were constantly exhausted. The little people that played the munchkins were famously mistreated and were payed less than the dog. Because of this, it is reported that many of the little people actors behaved poorly on set. 

The child actors who portrayed Munchkins that are still alive today (there are still a few) say that everything was hectic with a constant sense of urgency, but it was because everyone seemed to know they were making something great. What had originally seemed like a hokey fairy tale was truly becoming magical, and everyone on set wanted to be a part of it. I know that thinking everyone was treated well and were glad to be there in a Hollywood production from the 30s is very naïve, but the product is so perfect and beautiful that I have to believe.

The performance of Margaret Hamilton was so over the top and perfect. Her ability to do an evil laugh is what nailed the part, and she used this to terrify viewers into believing her to be murderous. She never kills anyone, but she sure likes to play with fire around the scarecrow. Hamilton worried that she would be typecast as an evil character and scare children (which she was and did). It did not stop her from getting into the part and she did it so well that children ran away from her in real life. I found her face in the crystal ball to be especially terrifying.

It is very difficult to separate the beauty of the film and the beauty of the music. Most of the songs are quite whimsical and used to introduce the characters. The sound is like an extra character as it reveals mood changes and gives away character traits. The witch’s theme gives the feel of something hunting you down. The wizard is wonderous and awesome. Dorothy is melancholy but at the same time hopeful. The traveling music, called “We’re Off to See the Wizard,” might be the most descriptive sound for feeling and speed ever put to film. The score keeps the film constantly moving and tells the story when the characters aren’t able. And of course there is the opening. My mom used to sing this to me at bedtime and I thought she sounded just like Judy Garland. This comparison is likely not objectively true, but I love my mom and I loved hearing her sing so it was subjectively even better. 

One last thing that I am noting as the movie plays as I type: the sets are amazing. The entire movie was shot on gigantic sound stages and the back drops are hundreds of giant murals. Some of the sets must have been massive because the characters go in so deep towards the background. Even the shots of Kansas with the plains in the background are giant sets. It is fun to try and figure out where the stage stops and the backdrop begins. It is hard to tell in some cases which trees are on the set and which trees are painted. 

The question that I always answer at the end of my AFI film reviews do not even really need to be asked on this occasion, but I will do it for consistency and posterity. Does this film deserve to be on the AFI list? Of course. There is no movie that currently exists that deserves it more. It is an allegory for the American dream and a simple tale of the American state of mind at the turn of the 20th century. This film will always have a place on this list. Would I recommend it? Simply yes. There is no film that I would recommend more. It does not matter the age or background of the person asking, I would 100% freely recommend this film. Please watch it if you haven’t. If you have, watch it again. 

I try and stay away from topical notes while making these reviews, but we are almost a year into the pandemic and it is likely going to be a terrible winter of loss. There are few things that make me happier when stuck inside than a great movie and there is no better movie for a time like this than The Wizard of Oz. It is the kind of thing that keeps us hopeful in the most simple and beautiful way. Due to travel bans and health issues, I am missing a Christmas with my mom for the first time that I can remember (I think in my life) and I felt a little better after watching the film. For a feeling of joy and love for that home you love most, watch the movie and feel good, even if just for a little bit. 

[benvoliosantodomingo]

BELLAMY SANTO DOMINGO | THE KEEPER

“what is your religion? [...] - to love what is good and beautiful when i see it.” - george eliot 

basic information 

full name : bellamy santo domingo meaning : bellamy ( french ) - “fine friend” santo ( latin ) - “holy or devout” domingo ( spanish ) “of the lord” 

nicknames(s) : bell, bells  preferred names(s) : bellamy, bell, bells  birthdate : may 21st, 1995 age : 24 zodiac : taurus gender : male pronouns : he / his romantic : panromantic sexual orientation : bisexual nationality : Italian ethnicity : italian / brazilian current location : verona, italy living conditions : bellamy lives in an apartment by himself, away from the villa santo domingo. it has large windows that let in a lot of light, two guest rooms for his various friends to move in and out of, a large kitchen even though he can’t really cook worth anything, and he keeps it filled with the things that are important to him. one wall is two large bookshelves, relics from his travels are scattered around the place, and a wall in his bedroom is dedicated to pictures of the people that he loves, and pictures and postcards from his years traveling. its the only place that's ever truly been his, so he’s tried to leave his mark on it as much as possible.  title(s) : benvolio, ufficiale santo domingo, the keeper 

background

birthplace / hometown : bellamy was born and raised in verona. social class : bellamy comes from a wealthy upper-class family, but he never really agreed with everything that came with that distinction--and in comparison to families like the rossos and the montagues he always felt like his own family saw themselves as distinctly lesser. now that he’s an adult and living on his own, he would say that he’s firmly middle class and happy to be so. education level : bellamy has a high school education, and received police training upon returning to verona. father : luca santo domingo mother : ana santo domingo ( née moreno ) sibling(s) : bellamy is the oldest of five, and has only brothers. they aren’t particularly close due to bellamy’s proclivity for gentleness and peace, and the ones that are old enough are particularly devoted to the montague cause, like their parents. he makes an effort to see them occasionally--but it usually doesn't end well.  dante santo domingo ( 22 )  leonardo ( leo ) santo domingo ( 20 ) milo santo domingo ( 17 ) raphael santo domingo ( 13 )  children : none, but he is very much the mom friend.  pet(s) : none, but he’s not opposed to the idea of having one.  other important relatives : part of his travels involved staying with some of his mother’s relatives in brazil, and he has various aunts and uncles that are involved with the montagues in various capacities.  previous relationships : juliana capulet his secret high school girlfriend--two gentle souls who found solace in each other, in abandoning the pretenses they had both been affecting for their families. their relationship ended when bellamy decided to go traveling, but they left on good terms.  carlos de leon a formula one driver that bellamy met while he was staying in spain. he made bellamy momentarily forget everything that he had left behind, and they burned brightly for a few months. he begged bellamy to stay, to leave everything behind and start new, but ultimately bellamy decided to move on.  jack hawthorne a poet and an an american student at oxford that bellamy met while he was in england. they dated intensely for six months, and that was the closest that bellamy ever got to really considering staying somewhere--but ultimately there was more of the world that he wanted to see, and he wasn’t willing to give up on the people he had back in verona. they’re still close, and text from time to time.  arrests? : none, he’s the one with the strict charge of bailing others out of jail.  prison time? : none. 

occupation + home

primary source of income : the salary he earns from being a police officer.  secondary source of income : his salary as a soldato, and a trust fund account from his parents which he uses as sparingly as possible. he wants to create a life for himself based on his own merits.  content with their job (or lack thereof?) : bellamy is only on the force because the montagues placed him there upon his return--if he had a choice he would do pretty much anything else. there are aspects of the job that he likes, but he detests having to stand by and watch violence occur just because its in the montague name, or arriving moments too late to stop the cruelty from occurring. once upon a time, he’d imagined that he might study to be a poet, or a writer of some kind, but he’s since pretty much given up on that.  past job(s) : he picked up odd jobs on his travels whenever his funds started to get a little bit light--waiting tables, local bookshops, things he could pick up and leave pretty easily.  spending habits : bellamy’s parents presented him with a trust fund account as their way of taking care of him once he was out of their sight--but he doesn’t like to use it that often. it’s money they gained at the expense of others, and its their excuse for not having to think about him. he doesn't believe in spending money just for the hell of it, to show off what you have--he gets only what he needs to make himself comfortable, to make himself happy, with the salary that he earns from his job. his parents money gets donated to charities most of the time--shelters, food banks, organizations that stand against mob violence, no matter how small they may be.  most valuable possession(s) : an old t-shirt he stole from marcelo on a particularly bad night that still has their scent, and a daisy that roman had once tucked behind his ear that he keeps pressed in-between the pages of a book. 

skills + abilities 

physical strength : 7/10

bellamy keeps himself in good shape, and his job requires him to be able to lift heavy objects, or even people out of harm’s way if necessary. he’s not as strong as someone like marcelo, who works out regularly and with the specific purpose of being able to overpower other people, but he can hold his own. 

offense : 6/10

bellamy doesn’t believe in violence, and would much rather talk his way out of an altercation. however, he’s had effective tutors throughout his life who insisted that he be able to keep himself safe, and hold his own if the need ever arose, so he knows the basics. 

defense : 6/10

again, he is capable of holding his own should the need arise, but he doesn’t go out of his way to practice the skills, and he would prefer to do just about anything other than get into a physical altercation. 

speed : 8/10

bellamy’s preferred method of exercise is running, and his job requires him to be able to take off running at a moment’s notice, so his strength really is his speed. it also comes from childhood and teenage years running from whatever mess his friends got themselves into, so that he could bail them out later. 

intelligence : 8/10

bellamy is primarily intuitive, rather than classically educated and booksmart. he has a talent for reading people, and for reading emotion. he did grow up among the books of the verona library however, and has always been a voracious reader, and has taught himself a lot over the years. 

accuracy : 5/10

he hates shooting a gun, and his hands shake pretty much every time he has to draw it. he’s just good enough to pass the test to get on the police force, nothing more. 

agility : 8/10

he’s young, and a youth spent raising hell on the streets with his friends meant he developed a good deal of agility--he can hop a fence, a wall, or scale a fire escape with ease. 

stamina : 7/10

bellamy is physically fit, and trains pretty regularly, so his stamina is pretty above average. however, he has a low tolerance for pain and when he gets hurt it generally tends to really hurt. 

teamwork : 9/10

bellamy loves working with other people, and his skillset lies directly in his ability to communicate--he recognizes that no one ever really does anything alone, and that the future he envisions, in particular, will require as many people as he can convince of its plausibility. he can however, be blind and obstinate when his friends are brought into the equation--he will choose them above anyone else, every time. 

talents : bellamy has some talents as a writer, though he would never admit to it. he's skilled at communicating, at convincing other people to believe in his ideas, and he’s also very good at doing so in a way that never strays from genuine. he’s also pretty good at surfing, driving, and dancing.  shortcomings : bellamy is loyal to a fault--it would be easier to convince people of his crusade for peace if he could detach himself from the people in his life would oppose such an idea, but he never will. he also tends to be stubborn, and idealistic to a near fault. his life hinges on his ability to see peace brought to the streets of verona, and he refuses to consider that that might not be a real possibility.  languages spoken : italian, english, a little bit of portuguese, a little bit of french, and a little bit of spanish. drive? : yes, and at speeds that probably wouldn’t be considered “safe” or “legal”.  jump start a car? : yes!  change a flat tire? : yes!  ride a bicycle? : yes!  swim? : yes!  play an instrument? : no--his father played the guitar, and bellamy briefly considered learning, but got bored pretty quickly.  play chess? : no--there was always something more interesting for him to be doing, somewhere else.  braid hair? : yes, for the benefit of his friends exclusively.  tie a tie? : yes, and a bowtie.  pick a lock? : no, that’s what he had roman and marcelo for. 

physical appearance + characteristics 

face claim : marlon teixeira eye color : brown hair color : brown hair type / style : its always been curly, and he’s never really been particularly gifted at controlling it, so he generally doesn’t fuss with it.  glasses / contacts? : none dominant hand : right height : 6′2  weight : 175 build : bellamy is tall but solidly built--the muscle that he gains tends to fill him out.  exercise habits : running, boxing, lifting weights, yoga on occasion skin tone : he’s got his mother’s olive complexion.  tattoos : none yet, but he’s considered it a couple of times--he’d like for them to be meaningful, connecting him to the people he cares about.  piercings : none.  marks / scars : bellamy was an active child and carries the scars of that, and he has a very active job that has a tendency to leave him bruised and bleeding.  notable features : his curly hair, his nose, and a nice bone structure.  usual expression : bellamy makes an effort to smile as much as he can, as a kind of defiant act.  clothing style : bellamy has a weakness for nice clothes--he has a couple of designer suits that he’ll break out on occasion, and even his casual wear tends to be high end. he runs the full spectrum--he likes cozy sweaters some days, sportswear others, and some days he just wants to wear a crop top.  jewelry : a watch most days, rings he accumulated on his travels if he’s not on duty.  makeup : a little bit eyeliner, if he’s going out.  allergies : jerks!  diet : bellamy can cook well enough to stay alive, but he's not particularly gifted. he knows a few of his mom’s old recipes, and he can follow along with the food network, but he’s not really skilled enough to branch out and be adventurous by himself. he does like trying new things--he’s frequented a lot of out of the way restaurants in verona, and he’s totally that guy that will tell you that a particular dish is made better at a distant locale where you wouldn’t expect it to be made better. he notably is not phased at all by spice.  physical ailments : none. 

psychology 

jung type : ISFJ enneagram type : type 2, the helper. the caring interpersonal type: generous, demonstrative, people pleasing, possessive  moral alignment : neutral good  temperament : melancholic element : earth primary intelligence type : intra-personal Intelligence. mental conditions / disorders : bellamy struggles with anxiety.  sociability : bellamy is incredibly sociable--he draws his strength from other people, he has a deep and abiding love for humanity as a whole and believes wholeheartedly that they are capable of good. the only time he has a tendency to withdraw is when he’s well and truly upset--he’s used to being something solid for everyone else to lean against, and he doesn’t want them to worry about him.  emotional stability : bellamy tends to feel everything very deeply, and makes it a point to not hide that about himself. he grew up in a household where he was expected to keep his emotions in check, to channel them into violence and aggressive behavior, so as he’s been on his own he’s always been very outward about his expression. when he’s upset, he’s well and truly upset and its obvious. when he’s happy, he’s out and he likes to be among people.  obsession(s) : bringing peace to verona, and ending the mob war. when he was younger he fell deeply in love with the written word, and spent most of his teenage years drinking in every book he could get his hands on.  compulsion(s) : bellamy has a bit of a savior complex--if he sees someone in need, he feels compelled to try and do something, even when there might be nothing to be done.  phobia(s) : bellamy fears losing his loved ones, leaving him alone, deeply.  addiction(s) : none.  drug use : recreationally when he was younger, when he was in social situations. since he’s been back in verona and on the police force he’s tended to stay away from them.  alcohol use : mostly socially, but those tend to be heavy binges. he drinks when he’s truly upset, as a kind of last resort coping mechanism.  prone to violence? : absolutely not--he believes that most situations can be diffused without resorting to violence, and that violence is a plague that has swept through verona unchecked for hundreds of years. he prefers to resolve things with his words, with his voice, or to exit a situation entirely. if he feels its a last resort, he might turn to it, but it would have to be a desperate situation. 

mannerisms 

speech style : it depends on the situation--he generally speaks like a young person, with a lot of slang, and sometimes at more of a loud volume. if he really believes in what he’s talking about, he tends to speak very forcefully, with a lot of hand gestures and eye contact, with clear and concise language. he’s a gifted speaker who knows how to tailor his manner of speaking depending on audience.  accent : italian quirks : he’s always playing with his hair in one way or another, his manners tend to be less on the formal side because he grew up in a big family, he always gets up before the sun if he can help it.   hobbies : reading, writing, drawing, taking photographs, dancing, he’s trying to learn how to cook better, shopping nervous ticks : whenever bellamy’s nervous his hands start to get a tremor in them.  drives / motivations : what drives bellamy is the idea that a better future exists--a future where the people he loves will live and grow old, will do the things that bring them joy. he just has to figure out how to change things, to convince people to see that future in the same way that he does. he’s very motivated by his makeshift family, by making sure that they are safe and well taken care of. his primary motivation has always been kindness, everything he does comes from that place inside of him.  fears : he fears losing himself in this war, as well as losing the people that he loves about. he fears that violence will corrupt beyond what he can save, that he will have to bury the family that he’s made for himself.  positive traits : kind, selfless, optimistic negative traits : none he’s an angel he can be stubborn, he can be blindly optimistic, and he tends to be kind of a martyr at times.  sense of humor : more on the dark and dry side--its a side effect of being friends with marcelo rosso for so long.  do they curse often? : yes! he’s young and his family consists of his friends, he’s never felt the need to clean it up for them. 

favorites

activity : writing next to a sunlit window.  animal : all of them beverage : anything fruity book : the sword in the stone by t.h. white, maurice by e.m. forster,��one hundred years of solitude by gabriel garcia marquez, the collected poems of john keats, the return of the king by j.r.r. tolkien  color : green  designer : thom browne, prada, louis vuitton  food : he has his issues with his mother--but she remains the best cook he’s ever known. he misses her brazilian food every day, as well as her high tolerance for spice.  flower : sunflower  gem : tourmaline  holiday : halloween  movie : the lord of the rings trilogy, an american in paris, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind  quote / saying : ”the future has several names. for the weak it is impossible; for the faint hearted it is unknown; for the valiant, it is ideal.” - victor Hugo scent : bright and floral  sport : football (soccer)  television show : parks and recreation, cooking shows, queer eye  weather: warm and with relentless sunshine  vacation destination : são paolo, brazil 

attitudes 

greatest dream : seeing his friends grow old and build happy lives for themselves.  most at ease when : he’s with the people that he cares about--they know him as well as anyone he shares blood with ever could.  least at ease when : he’s on the job, specifically when he has to draw his weapon. any kind of combat situation makes him uneasy.  worst possible thing that could happen : he resigns himself to life in the mob, realizes that peace is unattainable in verona, and becomes like his parents and everyone else in the montague ranks.  biggest achievement : leaving verona when he was 18 years old, and seeing what else the world had to offer.  biggest regret : allowing himself to be lured back, allowing the montagues to put him in the verona police force.  top priorities : keeping his loved ones safe and alive, building a better world for them to live in. 

[rainbows-fanfics]

Two Dearest Friends (Chapter 22)

Summary:

Jack Skellington, the Pumpkin King of Halloween Town, meets Sally, a ragdoll created by Dr. Finklestein. A friendship blossoms between them as he introduces her to the world outside of her tower. Sally is falling for him as their relationship grows into something more, and Jack finds the same is happening to him.

A story where the Christmas incident never happens, and Jack and Sally find their happiness on their own.

Pairings: Jack Skellington/Sally

---------------------

The Doctor's aroused suspicions are even further confirmed when he finds his ragdoll chipper about absolutely everything he gives her. Whether it'd be scrubbing the tower's toilet or sweeping the bedrooms, Sally is very willing to do anything he says. And from the few times he watches her, secretly from the side, he finds her smiling and humming...at one point, he even found her singing! Something certainly has her attention, and it gnaws at his brain that he doesn't know what it is. He is very certain it is something from outside - something she drugged him for to see, or something to do.... Now he is sending her off to do some homework, all of which seems to be have been completed these past few days. He had the hardest of times getting any actual work from her before, but now everything seems to be completed on time, and very accurately...everything about this situation keeps him on his toes, and as he looks at Sally up-and-down while she stands in front of the ramps, waiting for his final word to release her into her room, where he wouldn't see her figure for hours beyond her room's door....Finklestein actually hesitates. Wonders to himself if he should ask, to pry, to demand this information out of her -- so he could know what has finally made her happy, after trying all this time, to have her content at home... "Doctor?" She asks. He is drawn from his thoughts as her voice curiously interrupts him. "Can I go, now?" "What? Oh, yes. Yes, you may leave, now." Her figure starts to leave and he taps the armrest of his wheelchair in thought. "-Sally?" She stops and turns around. "Yes?" "I'd like to have a talk with you tonight. In my Laboratory. Just you and me." "....Okay, Doctor." She doesn't sound pleased nor interested. In fact, he finds her speeding up the ramps so he can't stop her again. And that is exactly Sally's intention, as she rushes into her room and shuts the door behind her tightly. She feels the weight pressing against her back lift the moment she's in the solitude of her own confinement, and releases the breath she'd been holding in. She had been breathing through her teeth...as she always does around the Doctor. But when she sits in her chair and looks at the mansion far across the tower, it's as if she's breathing fresh air. She turns to open her textbook and begins working through math problems, tapping her finger against her leg and humming while she works diligently. She progresses through the problems at a good rate, and stops to take a break. She wishes she could be answering questions about Halloween. Questions about the outside world, of her friends, or the man she loves...Sally sighs as she stands from her chair and stares out of the window. Her eyes lock on the only interesting thing outside at that moment, at the study where he's usually in. She tries to picture Jack in there at this moment - looking through his own window, and staring at her own figure. Her body longs for him again, and her phantom heart aches knowing how far they're separated. She walks over to her bed and rests her head in her hand, daydreaming of this better world. She sits there until a noise interrupts her thoughts. It's the sound of a dog barking -- somewhere near the tower. Jumping up, she heads towards her window and looks outside to see. She recognizes that sound anywhere - the bark of her good friend, Zero! But where can he be? She doesn't see him anywhere. As Sally shifts her gaze around, she hears the barking getting louder. "Ruff!" "AH!" The ragdoll jumps in surprise when the sound of yapping erupts from beside her. She quickly turns her head and finds Zero in her room, looking up at her with attentive little eye sockets. She places a hand on her chest as she tries to get her breath back, calming her nerves as she squeezes her eyes shut. It's only Zero... She assures herself. It's your good friend, Zero...it's Jack's dog....Jack... "Arf!" "Shhh! Zero! Dr. Finklestein will know you're here..." She goes down on her knees to look at him better. Once she's close enough, she sees that an envelope is tucked in his mouth. "-Huh?" The ghost dog nudges his snoot closer to her face. She realizes what he's doing and takes it from his mouth, turning it over in her hands. In neat writing, from the man she loves and has thought about endlessly for these past couple of days, reads: TO SALLY. Her leaves do several flips inside her body as she opens it with eager hands, and finds a folded sheet of paper inside. As she unfolds it, she finds the same writing inside, written largely and legibly so she could read. Meet me in the pumpkin patch. -Your secret admirer

Sally giggles as she holds the note close to her chest. An invitation...from Jack again! She can't wait to meet him there, to see him once more, to speak with him again....she wonders what this is about, but it matters very little to her. All she wants is more time with the skeleton man she loves, and she knows for certain that this is from him. She looks up from the paper and pets Zero on the head, giving him very good pats for delivering this message to her. "Thank you, Zero! Who's a good boy?" He pants excitedly as she runs her hand along his ghostly form. He gives her one final yap, to which she tells him to keep quiet. He then disappears through her window and flies back to his master's home. Sally watches as the dog's form disappears, then grins brightly at the note held in her hand. She should be leaving soon - she can't have Jack waiting too long! Quickly, she skips over to her closet and goes through some of her completed dresses, wondering which to wear for this occasion. She goes with one of her newer ones, a simple green dress. She likes the trim, and ensures it fits snugly on her figure as she twirls around in her mirror. As she opens her window and gets ready to jump out, she suddenly remembers the Doctor's request. To meet with her that night in his laboratory -- will she be back before then? He'll truly be upset with her this time if she doesn't make it before sundown, but...oh, she just has to go! She'll have to be very aware of her time outside. She did make a promise to him, and as unfair as she's been treating him lately...he deserves a little of her attention. But Sally's going to make sure Jack has the majority of it, as she throws herself out the window with nothing more but the intention of seeing him again. -------------------------- She rushes past the Graveyard gates looking in every direction, trying to spot Jack's skull right off the bat. He isn't on the Spiral Hill nor is he anywhere near the entrance, so Sally continues looking by following the implanted trail and skimming through the graves. At the end of the trail, she'll soon find, is where he is - situated on a tall piece of stone, resting one leg on the other and twirling a black rose in his left hand. When he hears the crunching of leaves, he turns on the tombstone and finds Sally approaching him, modestly brushing her hair behind her shoulders and clasping her hands down at her waistline. He notes her dress right away, taking a moment to admire her in the new attire. "Why, Sally! You look beautiful." He compliments. He helps himself off the grave and offers her the rose in his hand. "-This is for you." She takes it and admires it. "It's very lovely. Thank you." "A lovely rose for a lovely lady. I thought of you the moment I saw it." Her cheeks grow hotter as she looks back at the flower in her hand. She gets an idea and pretends she's searching around, coyly eying Jack from the corner of her eye. "My secret admirer said he'd meet me here...do you know where he is?" "Hmm. Quite the question." The skeleton places a finger on his lip. "Would he happen to be the King of Halloween? The demon of light? The master of fright?" He moves until he's back in her peripheral vision. "...Or would he happen to be the one standing in front of you right now?" She smiles coquettishly. "I don't know. Is he?" He closes his eye sockets and grins. "Did my little messenger send you the letter? I had him send it to you on the account that it was a last-minute invitation. I would've delivered it personally, but, well, I was already here..." "Zero did bring it to me. I slipped out without the Doctor even noticing." She states proudly before her face changes. "-Why did you invite me out here, Jack?" He comes forward to hold her hands, squeezing them excitedly as he asks, "Sally, would you like to go on another date with me?" Is the sky orange? She wonders, and nods right away. "Well, of course! But when-" "-Right now." His grip tightens. "Today is when everyone begins carving pumpkins, and I was just wondering if you wanted to join me? Traditionally, I'm always there for the first day, but...I just don't think I'll enjoy it without you there." "I'd love to, but..." She knits her eyebrows together. "I've never carved one before. I wouldn't know where to begin-"" "I can teach you! It all works out perfectly." His grin is so cute, she has a hard time keeping her eyes off of it. "What do you say?" What else can she say to the Pumpkin King's invitation of a date? She nods firmly, allowing him to take her hand and lead her out of the Graveyard. He seems excited as he pulls her along on the way into town, occasionally glancing back at her just to give her an excited smile. She can tell he's looking forward to this date - and she most certainly is as well. She can't imagine a better afternoon than one with Jack. And now they're going to do something together...something that involves Halloween. Something she'd never done and he is going to teach her - something she is sure to be wonderful, because everything is whenever she's with him. ----------------------------------------------- They both arrive in the plaza at the heart of the celebration, where the long table running through the square is filled with residents and pumpkins. Sally can make out only a few available spaces as her and Jack pass by. She can hear everyone calling out to him, and listens as he greets them back. She notices the puzzled looks from the few who realize the ragdoll is with him, as well as the shocked looks from some of his admirers. It causes Sally to hold her head up high and grin with confidence, her heart doing several imaginative flips at the fact that he is with her and no one else. "Would you like a small pumpkin or a bigger one?" She notices he is reaching into the crate filled with them, and replies politely, "A smaller one, please." His skull nods as he leans down further. Then he shows her a quaint pumpkin, perfectly her size. She takes it from him and finds it light to carry. Then she watches as Jack takes a much bigger one. One she'd assume he'd have trouble carrying, but he acts as if it's the lightest thing in the world. He stands up straight and glances around, presumably searching for a spot they can sit down at. This is confirmed when he motions in a direction with his skull. "Let's sit at that table in the corner, shall we?" She follows his direction and finds a table near the walls. It's purposely separated from the long one where everyone else is at. They both arrive and Sally gently places her pumpkin down, taking a seat on the bench closest to her while flattening down her dress. Jack follows suit - carefully bringing his own pumpkin down and sitting right beside her. They're close enough that their knees are touching underneath the table, and Sally is very thankful that this is concealed by the blood-colored tablecloth. "It feels like it's been ages since I've carved one of these," He confesses. He sets down some tools, including a big spoon, a couple of knives, and a few other instruments she doesn't recognize. "-I know it hasn't been that long, but...well, you know what I mean." "I've never carved one myself, so I guess I know how that feels." She finally glances away from the table and notices the eyes aimed at them. They are all intently gazing at Jack, but she notices the few that are in her direction. The skeleton seems completely oblivious to the stares while the ragdoll sinks into her shoulders. It feels...odd to be the center of attention. She tried desperately to avoid such a thing before, but now it's inevitable. She just hopes no one suspects anything... "Jack?" She whispers to him. He seems so unaware; she feels as if he should know. "Everyone is looking at us." He doesn't bother looking from the table. "Is it bothering you?" Her look turns troubled. "Well, I-" The skeleton finally looks up from their pumpkins and meets with the gaze of his citizens. Seeing as his attention is now on them, they all turn away at once - minding their own businesses and resuming what they had been doing before. The conversations pick back up, replacing the tense silence that was once there before. Sally gawks as the skeleton returns to his work, side glancing at her and smiling. "It's that easy. You just have to let me know," He informs her. "But why did they stop looking?" "They just wanted my attention, is all." He shrugs. "But I would much rather give that to you. Now, watch. This is the first step..." He makes sure he has her attention before grabbing one of the knives. He begins to cut a circle around the top of the pumpkin. Her stare is attentive, and she takes many notes as she watches him do this. He eventually revolves around the pumpkin until he successfully cuts the top off, lifting it and revealing the seeds hanging from the inside. She is amazed at how easily he completed such a task, as well as looking at the insides of a pumpkin. She's never seen it before...and she is very fascinated with what she sees. "Wow." "Try cutting yours. And a little tip of advice - don't do it straight down because you'll never get it back on. Try doing it at an angle." She notices the knife left right beside her own pumpkin. She grabs it and picks a spot to cut. She finds out that the pumpkin is extremely harder than it looks. She makes a few grunting noises as she attempts to puncture its surface. She tries to follow his advice and enter the knife in at an angle, but when her arms begin to wobble and her grip loses its strength, she only manages to make a small cut. Her hand fumbles and she drops it altogether, slapping the side of her head in frustration. His voice consoles her from the side. "Hey. Come on. It's nothing to be upset about. I'll help you." She peeks through her fingers and finds him giving her a warm smile. The same one that lets her know things are going to be okay. She perks up as she slowly removes her hands, and he takes this opportunity to take the knife from her hands and finish cutting for her. His large hands look funny working with such a small pumpkin like hers. She giggles to herself as he finishes, lifting the top up and setting it back into place perfectly. "What I do is I make a little indent." He points to a small 'V'-shaped cut made on her top. "That way, you'll know which direction to put the top back on. I can't tell you how many monsters will cut down directly and make a hole that the top can't rest on anymore. And if they get lucky, getting it on just right is a challenge. So, the indent makes that a lot easier." She admires its placement, pulling the top off for herself and setting it back down. It fits right into place. She looks back at him and giggles. "I suppose it makes sense you'd know all this stuff...being the Pumpkin King and all..." "They say I'm the best carver in town." He boasts proudly. "They also say you're the best at everything." He smiles coyly, as if taken a little off guard. "You flatter me, Sally....truly." Then he clears his throat and removes the top off of his pumpkin. "The next step is to remove all the fibrous strands and the seeds from inside. To make it clean and have room for your candle inside. Usually, monsters use their claws, but I like using these." He picks up some of the spoons and other things from the table, then begins to scoop out the insides. She watches him intently and mentally takes notes on what to do. When she goes to remove her top and peek inside the pumpkin, she finds herself distracted with what's inside. These strands look....very peculiar. She goes to touch it and cringes slightly. It's very cold and wet. It also feels sticky...like some sort of orange goop...not to mention it makes very moist sounds, like when the Doctor scratches his brain. "It looks funny," She says aloud. He glances over and notices her shivering the moment her hand clenches a handful of the stuff. She discards it right away and hesitates to grab anymore. The way she's biting her lip is very cute, but even he can tell she's having difficulties. "Do you want me to do it for you?" He offers. "Oh, could you?" She nudges her pumpkin closer to him. He pauses with his work to empty out hers, scraping the insides. It takes only a few minutes until he's finished, where the inside of hers looks completely clean. He empties his own then cleans off his hands with a napkin. Sally inspects his work and claps in excitement, relieved and looking forward to continue on with the process. She's having a lot of fun with him - it feels very natural to her, to participate with these things and doing something she'd never thought of doing before. She's very glad he invited her to do this. "What's the next step?" She asks. "Now, we pick out the designs." He throws the napkin to the side. "This year's plan is to carve an eyeball...but between you and me, anyone can take creative liberties. So, go with any design you want." "Whatever I want?" She echoes, tapping her chin uncertainly. "Well...what are you going to carve?" "I think I'm going to carve a bat. It's fairly simple, and easy to do." "Really? Then...then I think I want to make a cat." "Do you need help drawing the design? I can do that for you real quick." "Will you?" He sees her perk up and nods, moving himself closer to her and grabbing a marker off the table. He turns the pumpkin out of her view and works on the design. It takes him only a couple of minutes until he's done, where he sits back and returns the cap back on the pen. Sally learns over to look at it and finds a simplistic cat drawn on the pumpkin. But she notices the style about it, its thin body reminding her of her own alley cat. "Now, see, you're actually going to carve the lines outside of the cat." He points at it. "Except its eyes, of course - cats have wonderful, glowing eyes...but the figure you leave as it is. It'll look like a shadow. Or a black cat." "I want it to be a black cat," She decides. "Alright. Just make sure there's enough room for the candle, since you picked a small one and all." He suddenly holds up his knife. "Watch this." She does. And she very well may have witnessed what might be the most interesting thing she'd seen in her life. He cuts the lines perfectly in only a matter of seconds, maneuvering his hands carefully and keeping a watchful eye to follow the lines rhythmically. It doesn't take long until he pops the cut parts out, leaving a large figure of a bat in its absence. She can see where the light of the candle will shine through. It looks perfect. She can't fathom how quickly he had made it. Pointing at it, she notices a similarity. "It looks like the one on your bow tie." "You think so?" He takes a quick glance down at his bow tie and back to his pumpkin. "Hm. You're right. I didn't realize that." She gets busy attempting to carve her pumpkin. She does her best while Jack goes on about something in the background. She tries to listen to him as she works, his voice calming her every time she feels overwhelmed. But her clumsiness is inevitable - her hand begins to slip and shake every time she follows a line. What was once a perfectly-symmetrical moon now has jagged lines. Even the figure of the cat looks like roadkill. She sets down her knife to stare at it sadly. The eyes look far too much like triangles... Her love, meanwhile, applauds. "I like it." "I ruined your design." She lowers her head in defeat. "No! Just look at the lines you made on the cat." He points at them. "It looks like it's scared out of its wits! That's a very good job, if you ask me." She tilts her head. She can see it now...it looks like a cat when its back is hunched and hissing. She looks back at the skeleton and smiles. He always knows how to make her feel better. "I think you're right..." She feels prouder of her creation the longer she stares at it. He gave her confidence that she didn't know she needed. It looks perfectly fine for a first try...it must be exceptional if Jack likes it. But, then again, maybe he's a little biased...no, his opinion is always sincere! She glances over at him and notices he's adding a few finishing touches to his own, sharpening some areas and dulling others. She can't help but follow the movement of his hands with her eyes. It's as if he's done this hundreds of times before... "So," He begins, finally tearing away his gaze from his work. "How is someone enjoying their first time carving a pumpkin?" "I like it. The insides feel very...wet...and it's a little hard moving the knife, but it's very enjoyable." She waits before adding, "I think that's because I'm with you." "Mm. Am I that good of a teacher, Miss Sally?" She holds in a giggle at the new term. It sounds so...classy. And it makes her feel very good. "-The best I've ever had, Mr. Skellington." He pauses in his process to give her a meaningful smile, finding something endearing hearing that name out of her mouth, then sets down his knife to wipe down his hands once more. "Would you like to do this again?" She recalls something very similar from before -- his invitation from their first date, insisting they'd have a repeat of their wonderful evening that time. It makes her wonder if he really means it when he wants to do these things again, and wishes for nothing more herself. "--Why, Jack...I'd want to do anything with you." "You know, Sally, I feel the same way." His hand grips hers from under the table, then returns his gaze to their pumpkins. "I think we're just about done here. Would you like to know the final step?" "What is it?" "We display it!" He grabs his pumpkin then places it on a nearby mantel proudly. "Horrible! Don't you think so?" "It looks even better from a distance." She picks up her own pumpkin and hesitates before sitting it next to his. She notes right away the difference in detail - hers very much looks like a child had made it, while Jack's was more than incredible...Despite this, he admires them both from beside her, turning and speaking with usual enthusiasm. "What do you know? It's look better when it's in a pair." She fiddles with her hands timidly. "I think so, too..." He looks at her for a moment or two before glancing around them again, smiling and leaning down, quietly asking, "...Would you like to take a stroll, now? Just the two of us?" She was hoping he'd ask. With her nod of encouragement, he begins leading her out of Town, through the gates, and into the more secluded alleyways - holding her hand once they are out of sight, and never letting go. The two talk more of what had just happened, and in the midst of their conversation, find themselves naturally heading on the path towards their favorite hill... ---------------- Dr. Finklestein, coincidentally, is on a very similar route. But this isn't a merry trip nor is he on a casual errand to the grocery store. No, he's absolutely seething as he guides his small hand on the controls of his chair. After a restless hour of fighting with his thoughts, struggling with his insecurities accompanied by the endless curiosity of what has exactly happened to his ragdoll, he decided to ask her himself. But that plan hadn't gone as predicted, as the moment he opened up her door, he found the window open and Sally gone yet again. Not that he was surprised, of course, but it enraged him after their promise they had made an hours prior. What an unfaithful, wretched girl... He scowls inwardly, lips twitching as they always do when he's agitated. He can feel a little of his drool finding its way down his neck, which he promptly wipes away. She's probably out in the town...or with Skellington....who knows? I can't bother with these details anymore... Ordering his assistant to oversee everything while he was gone, Finklestein decided to go with a...new approach while searching for his missing ragdoll. He was not to yell for her, nor exclaim her name while out in public. That just draws more attention to himself, he finds, and from that, Sally hides before he can even find her! So a more quiet approach is necessary, and he must make himself as invisible as possible so she won't bail the moment he's in her sight. Being one of the palest residents in the town, he knows how difficult this task is, as he covered himself with an old jacket he found in one of his closets. The wheelchair might be a giveaway, but moving himself through the shadows has made him unnoticed thus far. "When I see that Sally..." He mutters to himself before feeling a sudden pain in his chest. He clenches at it with his free fist. "Augh... That woman's torturing me without even trying! Does that girl know how much trouble she IS?" Enduring these sudden chest pains and shortness of breath, the Doctor continues on his way until he hears voices from afar. He stops his wheelchair entirely and lifts his large head, trying to find the source of the noise. He eventually realizes it's several yards in front of him, and sticks himself to the walls while creeping forward. He eventually comes upon two figures - both tall, and situated almost too comfortably among themselves. His fingers twitch as he recognizes the two of them, his glasses shimmering in realization as Jack Skellington's voice coos to his ragdoll, who is pressed gently against the wall with the skeleton's arms pinned against her sides. From his position, he can see his chest barely grazing against her own, evoking a growl-like noise from his own throat. No doubt an inviting gesture, The Doctor thinks, fingernails pressing against his gloved palm. What does that boy think he's doing? Encouraging her rebellious behavior! I should come forward and stop this-- His body stiffens as the two lean in and lock lips. His jaw falls open as his hands release themselves. He can't even think of a word at this moment! Seeing his beloved King perch himself on his creation...the beautiful woman he made promised to himself, in the hands of another man - a man much more attractive, suave, and talented than himself...The embodiment of his insecurities, all formed into a skeleton he once believed to respect -- kissing a woman knowing who she is promised to...An act of such indecency... As Jack pulls away, Finklestein finds her giggling and smiling. Batting her eyelashes at him. He notices the way her shoulders bunched up and the leg that lifts when the Pumpkin King trails a finger along her chin. He feels like a dirty old man who has stumbled upon an innocent young romance -- but that's not the case, he reminds himself...this is his woman, HIS supposed-fiancée! He wandered into something most unpleasant for himself...a situation he knew he was bound to see, but the sight of it just makes him repulsed. A man he once respected has taken something that was rightfully his...he is angry, and he has every right to storm up and break whatever it is that is happening here. But why isn't he doing it? The man takes several moments to consider this. He's trying to be hidden. Absorbing the scene with only his eyes. But that itself is questionable...he is finding no pleasure from this. It is the exact opposite. He's filled with hate and resentment, but he finds no urge to bring that upon either of them. Which is very odd...he made it very clear to Sally that she was made for him, where she belongs, and what she is to do...but something different comes when he has this feeling. When he finds that smile on her face - one he has never seen himself, yet only exists because she is around that boy. She is happy right now. And he has never seen that himself. He's never given her that feeling. And now, he realizes, how horrible this realization feels... A tear finds its way out from his glasses, and he wipes it away without thinking. He feels more of them fall. His eyes are fixated on the figures as his mouth pulls into a low frown. But the anger has faded from his eyes, and in its absence are the gray pupils of a man who has lost something. Not something -- but someone. More thoughts are pouring in, revelations that have been hidden from his eyes for so long now, are causing the tears to grow. They fall until his cheeks are completely moist, and by that time, Jack and Sally have already left. They're continuing on their way, but Finklestein remains where he is. Even a genius like him knows this is obvious. He is stuck in a position of naiveté and stubbornness. Everything he hoped for, the future he envisioned for this girl...it was no more. They are no more. He has fought and struggled through his process, this process of losing her...he has rejected it for as long as he has known. He's spent such little time believing he was to marry her and instead spent longer denying her feelings for another man. He moves his hand to his chest and gently places it over his heart. His heart that no longer beats, but the pain it feels is unfathomable. Sally has done something to him he didn't deem possible within himself-- He is heartbroken. As the tears find their way onto his lips, he recognizes the taste. It's salty. The dead fish that was so prominent is gone now. He received his answers - but not all of them.  But the rest will all have to wait. For now, all he wants to do is soak in these feelings of neglect and distress. He turns his wheelchair slowly in the opposite direction, retreating back to his tower in defeat. He thinks nothing more of Sally or even Jack. He instead thinks of his dinner, and how the poison will taste tomorrow. ------------------------- "I love you, Jack." How she adores these words. She has wanted to say them for so long now that they feel almost foreign slipping off of her tongue. She even still has this little fear of his reaction. But this is suppressed as the skeleton easily replies, merely moments after the words left her own lips, does she hear the answer she has dreamed of hearing for so long. "I love you too, Sally." There. She melts again. He leaves a kiss on her forehead and her eyes gleam dreamily at him. They are sitting in their rightful spot on their favorite hill as they always have. They had a very long talk on the way over here, and exchanged some...new things during their slight detour. Hearing the words he said to her in those moments, being pinned against the wall, with no escape and no options but to face the man who had her trapped between his arms...Oh, God...Sally is head over heels for this skeleton man. He excites her. He always has. But now she's truly feeling it -- her heart racing in her chest, the exhilaration she can feel in her fingertips... She wants this feeling to never end. "It's very strange, being in love like this," He confesses to her, snapping her out of her daze. "But not a bad strange. It's a good strange. If you understand what I mean?" "I believe I do." She comes forward to nestle her head on the side of his neck. "It's very new. The Doctor never taught me about love." He turns his head slightly, interested. "Really, now?" "I didn't even know what marriage was until you explained it to me. Then you said something about being in love, and I only read about that in books. The Doctor...I've never felt like this around him. It's because of those stories I knew what it's like to feel this way..." She closes her eyes. "But it's one thing reading it and another experiencing it..." "Oh. You have no idea." He laughs slightly, gripping her hair gently in his hand. "I read those books about a man falling in love with a beautiful woman...to think about her in the mornings and wanting to be by her side...I thought it was hopeless for myself, but here I am feeling the exact same things." Her ruby lips curl into a smile. Her hand clutches at his suit. She still can't fathom how real this all is. "-You said something about doing things you wouldn't think of before...well, because of you, I feel happier back at home. Like I have nothing to worry about. I can do things without feeling scared anymore." He perks up. "Re-Really?" "I ate breakfast with the Doctor and Igor. I never did that before." She laughs. "And then, I realized...it's because I was thinking of you. I felt so happy. I didn't have a reason to worry about what they'd say or what I'd be punished for...Just thinking of you kept me strong, I-I guess is what I'm saying..." His hand slithers its way into her own, which she happily squeezes. She takes another inhale of his cologne. This feels almost too real. "You give me confidence, too, Sally...Why, I finished all my work the other night because I moved my desk closer to my window. Every time I looked at your place, it gave me this...good feeling. Knowing you were somewhere there." "You mean it?" "Yes. I do. And that good feeling is what I need to continue working. I haven't been this invested in my work for a long time." She becomes tense hearing that last part, and turns her head to look at him in wonder. It's been some time since he last hinted to his feelings with Halloween...the time he found her in the Graveyard, she could pick up on his mixed feelings with the holiday. And she recalls asking him about it. What could've been troubling him like with her and the Doctor. But he told me it doesn't matter... She thinks to herself. But...did he really mean that? "Jack..." She begins slowly, taking herself off of him and looking at him seriously. "Can you be honest with me, for a moment?" "I'm always honest with you." He affirms. "Well, yes, but....I'd really appreciate it." She holds her breath, fearing this will finally overstep a boundary of his. "D-Do you really....love Halloween?" "What do you mean?" "You've told me how you love it, but at other times, you tell me how troubling it is for you. How much work it is and how that causes you to come here...how i-it's troubling you. But...you've never told me that honestly. Or why that is. And I just want-" "--I do." He realizes he interrupted her and waves a hand apologetically. "I-I mean, I do love Halloween...but it's --- complicated." He notices her look of concern and sighs. "I suppose honesty wouldn't hurt now...hell, you're the only one who might understand." She flutters her eyelashes worriedly. No one understands? What can he mean by that? She watches as he shifts uncomfortably, and she feels her chest turn cold when he averts his gaze. At least he is opening up about this...she's always wanted to know. He's always been the kind man who dealt with her problems, but never has she heard of his own or helped him...and that's what she'd like to do. As his love, after all. That's what partners are for, aren't they? "What I mean by it's complicated is that I've...lost my passion for scaring. But just a little bit! Not entirely. I still feel all kinds of thrills and chills when I get someone to scream, but it just doesn't feel the same anymore. Like I've done the same thing before. And I realized that, after repeating the same plans year after year...doing the same routines, hearing the same old screams...I really am in this sort of loophole. Nothing seemed to change, and I was finding less meaning in what I was doing." She holds her hands together, feeling nothing but sorrow for her dearest friend. She can feel the emptiness he must be experiencing. As if his problems were her own. She comes forward to lay a comforting hand on his shoulder, and he looks at her to smile. But then, when his gaze shifts again, it falls and he's left to dwell more on the matter. "Being the Pumpkin King is wonderful to me. It really is. I get to take care of my people and give them something to look forward to, but...I never had a choice. I didn't choose to become the King nor did anyone pick me. But they love me anyway. And I appreciate them. But as excruciating as Halloween has become...I couldn't find the right change. Sure, the Mayor and I would come up with new ideas and they'd be exciting, but they just became a routine like everything else. The passion doesn't stay as long as I want it to. And at one point, I wanted to give it all up. I didn't want to keep doing this if it meant I had to repeat the same things every year. But I can't. I can't give up my crown or step down. I'd leave my people in the dark, and I want nothing more but for them to be happy, even if it meant I wasn't. I was stuck doing this, and for the longest time, I just dealt with it. But it took a toll on me through the years, and by this point the planning all just feels like one big chore. A 364-day responsibility left in my hands even if I never asked for it." She rubs her hand along his arm, her eyes filled with sadness from this information. "Jack...why didn't you tell anyone about this before?" He almost laughs. "They wouldn't understand. Why would they? This is all they know. Halloween is our purpose, our fun, our connection we share. Why would anyone question something they've done all their death? Who would get tired of this custom we love? I'm their King, and in their eyes, I'm this perfect embodiment of Halloween...no one understands what it's like to dream of something more than what you already have. They can't relate to what I'm going through - not when everything is perfect to them." "Well, I-I'm sure you could've found someone who related to you...someone who wasn't as happy with where they were or what they were doing. Someone who-" "--Someone like you." He finishes, ending her rambling. "Sally, do you realize what you've done for me?" She shakes her head. "You've given me a reason. A purpose. I wanted something new in my afterlife after going through this for so long, and...you're it. I've never fallen in love like this. I've never felt this way about somebody, and it feels so...new. I'm having new experiences with you, and I'm...happy. I'm content. I'm finally finding something to enjoy with Halloween now that you're in my death. And I-I don't know if you know that." "I do, now..." She grows breathless, desperately trying to find more words. "I...I do....I feel-" "Can I kiss you? Please?" The yearning in his voice makes her grow very warm. "Ye-yes, you can always kiss me, Ja-" Her words are interrupted when his lips press against hers, and that's all that is needed to make Sally turn into jelly again. The kiss is intimate and leaves her grasping at his lapels to get leverage. She has felt desire in their previous kisses, but there's something...new in this one. She can feel the longing in his body, and the passion igniting in her own. But she only truly feels this effect once he manages to gently press her body closer to the ground, resting himself above her. She grasps at his suit to keep herself involved with the kiss, until they both eventually break away. Then, her head is left to rest on the ground, where she can look at nothing but his face. "I-I need you..." He confesses, lowering his skull until it's next to her ear. "I've always needed you, Sally. It took me so long to find you. When we met, there was something so...different about you...I honestly couldn't believe you wanted to know about me. And ever since then, I...I felt a lot of things about you." Her cheeks feel hot, but she's unsure if it's because of their closeness or what he's saying. "Jack, I felt the same way when you said you wanted to-to be my...friend...even though you didn't know anything about me." "Are you kidding?" He lifts himself up to look at her. "A beautiful woman who saw me as more than the Pumpkin King? Who wanted to know what I did in my free time and what I thought of Romeo and Juliet? Just what did I do to deserve you, Sally?" Her jaw begins to tingle as she pulls his skull forward to her, brushing her nose against his nasal bone. "How about taking me away from the Doctor?" "-You did most of that yourself, you know-" "Kiss me, Jack..." She waits no moment further to press her lips against his, and he happily returns it by pressing his against her own. His hand finds it way to the back of her head, bringing her closer as they momentarily switch positions on the ground. As Sally continues to kiss the man who has confessed to her changing his own death for the better, she feels a sense of purpose as well as her growing love for Jack Skellington.        

[a-dreamer-named-mars]

Imagine Jamie Saving You From Your Boyfriend

Requested imagine. To read this and more imagines and fanfictions about Jamie Reagan click here.

- - -

"I just thought I'd be a good idea if we showed up at the bar for Katelyn's farewell party." Eddie Janko explained herself and her decision to her partner, Jamie Reagan, as she got inside the white and blue police car.

"It is a nice idea but you should have asked me before you confirmed with the guys I'd be there - now what am I gonna do?"

Jamie was in a, what most people call it, juncture. His old friend from the station was leaving - she was moving to her hometown - and everyone at the house was planning a little goodbye party to which his partner decided to RSVP, in her and his names. The thing was, he was also booked for that night to babysit his nephews Jack and Sean. They weren't at the age where they needed babysits anymore but during these first months after their mom died, Danny relied on his family to watch the kids when he was working until late hours of the night to solve a case.

"You could ask Erin if she didn't mind staying with the boys? I'm sure she'd understand."

Before the young cop had the chance to reply her, a voice on the intercom of the RMP interrupted his actions.

"12-David we have a domestics emergency on the East 10th Avenue with Broadway, 12. Man is in the possession of a weapon."

"12-David show us responding."

And there they went, at full speed.

* * *

"What have I told you before? Didn't I warn you that you only answered to me?! If I say you're not allowed to go out, you don't! Understood?!"

"Yes!"

"Then why did you go out last night?! Didn't I tell you I needed you home?!"

Fear was taking over you. You had no where else to run away to. You had been walking around the house trying to get away from him and the black crowbar he held in his hands.

Your boyfriend for almost two years had started showing his true colors about ten months ago. When you met him he was this nice and sweet guy who seemed like he truly loved you and cared for you. But lately, his interests came in first place for him and whenever you did something he didn't like he would yell at you. Then yelling became beating. And today was the last drop for you,  you had to call someone to help you.

You didn't need to look in the mirror to know for sure that you looked like crap - blood all over your face, tears running down your cheeks. - and it matched how you were feeling inside.

As you held your hands in front of your body as protection, you heard a loud noise, that you soon associated with the cop's foot smashing the door to get inside.

Was it...? Was it really Jamie? It really was.

You could tell he noticed you too but he didn't show and held up his gun, slowly intimidating your boyfriend.

"Drop it!"

He dropped the black metal tool on the ground and lied to Jamie.

"We were just role playing... We love each other, she just likes to spice things up when it comes to get intimate you know?"

Jamie quickly pushed him against the wall and cuffed him as you cried in relief.

Soon as you know, a blonde woman, also a cop, came to you and tried to comfort you, but failed miserably.

"I already called a bus, they're on the way." She said as she rubbed her hand on your back.

"Thank you."

Although you didn't want to be the victim in the situation, you were. You had been trying to postpone this conflict and you gave him chances after chances to try and be a better man but today you hit your limit. It had to stop, and you had to file charges before he did the same thing to another woman. And right now you did needed a paramedic to take a look at your head that was still bleeding.

Everything was so quick, it felt like five minutes to you but when you looked at the clock on your phone you noticed it had been an hour and you now found yourself sitting next to Jamie on the couch, after you gave him the information he needed.

"(Y/N), I am really sorry you went through what you went through. You should have ended things when he first started hitting you."

"Jamie, you don't understand... I loved him."

"More than you loved me?"

He was trying so hard to control his tongue and not ask you that. But he couldn't help it.

You and Jamie had dated before you and that skum bag got together. You were best friends, but that friendship evolved to a romantic relationship and when the latter ended, your bond took a hit and you lost touch.

"Don't ask me that." You pleaded, trying to avoid the answer.

"You're right. Forget I asked - look, all I wanna know now is where you're gonna stay. You can't stay here in his house."

"I don't know..." Your parents died when you were pretty young so the only person you had left was your brother. "I can't ask Jared. If he knows what had been happening he'd kill him."

"You can stay at my place if you want to. I won't tell Jared, I promise."

* * *

The moon was falling into the night sky of New York, making the charm of this city even more noticeable and you couldn't take your eyes off of the view from Jamie's living room window, where you felt safe.

"(Y/N)?"

His voice made you snap out of your thoughts and you turned your head around, turning your attention to him.

"Oh, sorry!"

"It's okay... I, myself, also like to stop and stare at the city at night once in a while. I spend the whole day walking around form one end of the city to another and I never cherish its beauty."

You sighed with a smile and moved over to the couch, with him following your every step.

"How are your wounds?"

"Getting better. Pain killers help."

There was nothing but silence between you two again. Not awkward silence but good kind of silence. You broke it.

"No."

"What?" He looked confused.

"No, I didn't love him more than I loved you."  

"Oh..." You couldn't almost hear his voice. "I shouldn't have asked you that, it was stupid."

"It's okay... I asked myself that question everytime he'd beat me, and the answer was always no."

He put his hand on top of yours and tilted his head to side, staring those beautiful eyes at you.

"Did he ever tried or had non consensual sex with you?"

"He did... twice."

"Why didn't you tell anyone about this? You could have told me, or your brother or a friend. Anyone who'd help you get out of that relationship."

"I don't know, I guess I was scared. Plus Jared would have actual killed him." And Jamie too had that strong desire in the back of his mind. "And I liked him, he was a good person before, when we met."

"But... you didn't like him more than me?"

"No." You whispered.

He nodded and laced his fingers with yours.

"I still love you. I never stopped. And if I could go back in time I would never let our stupid fight get to where it got. Maybe we'd still be together now and none of this would have happened."

His words got to you and your heart started pounding in your chest.

"It was no one's fault, really. Fighting over where we'd buy our house... what were we thinking? We were such kids."

"Plus, we didn't have such a different choice anyway - I wanted Brooklyn Heights, you wanted Bay Ridge. It's what? Fifteen, twenty minutes away?" He said with a chuckle.

"Right?"

"We shouldn't have ended things." He squeezed your hand in his while he said that.

Your eyes met his again and you couldn't control what your lips wanted to do.

You got closer to him, so close you could feel his breath on your face, and before you knew it your lips touched his and he kissed you right back.

God, you missed him. He truly was the one for you.

[cathygeha]

REVIEW

 The Crimson Trail by Eric Red

A Joe Noose Western #4

 Joe Noose is a man among men, a bounty hunter, kills when necessary but brings them in alive when he can. This time he plays a bit of a sleuth as he looks for a serial killer working his way through the men herding cattle on a trail drive. Why are the drovers falling like bowling pins? Who is killing them? Will Joe find the killer before everyone is dead? Throw in an evil cattle baron, his henchman and posse, a few fights with fists and guns…and don’t forget the serial killer and you have the makings of a rip-snorting, root-tooting, rollicking Western yarn.

 What I liked:

* Joe Noose: almost bigger than life but very real, fast and deadly with gun and fists, a survivor, reliable, steadfast, loves Marshall Bess Sugarland, intriguing, sees things through, a man I admire and would want on my side.

* That the story picks up from where book three ends.

* The writing and plot

* Laura Holdridge: cattlewoman, widow, ranch owner, on the trail herding cattle with her team, good woman, someone we may hear more of in the future.

* That there was more than one bad guy to hate and learning how each one was thwarted.

* Copper: Joe’s faithful steed.

* That all my senses were engaged.

* Feeling I was part of the story.

* That Joe was true-blue to Bess.

* Thinking about what makes people evil…

* All of it really except…

 What I didn’t like:

* The bad guys…it was easy to hate them and hope they would meet their comeuppance(s)

* Knowing that I will have to wait to find out what will happen next.

 Did I like this book? Yes!

Would I read more in this series/by this author? Without a doubt!!!

 Thank you to NetGalley and Kensington Pinnacle Books for the ARC – This is my honest review.

 5 Stars

   BLURB

 In his fourth series installment, acclaimed author and horror filmmaker Eric Red brings his trademark volatile action and bloody violence to a classic genre, injecting modern speed and grit into Old West legend as Joe Noose and Marshal Bess Sugarland follows a trail of blood through the valley of death... Joe Noose follows a trail of blood through the valley of death--in this bold Western series from Eric Red, acclaimed author of The Guns of Santa Sangre and The Wolves of El Diablo. HUNT FOR THE CATTLE DRIVE KILLER Joe Noose knows what fear looks like. He sees it in the eyes of his new friends--a dozen trail-hardened cattle men who don't scare easily. It's not the 500-mile trek across treacherous Montana territory that's got them spooked. It's not the 3,000 heads of cattle they've got to wrangle either. They're afraid that someone on this drive--one of their own team--is a serial killer. Five wranglers are already dead. Every man is a suspect. And the woman rancher in charge is paying Joe Noose to root out the evil on this cursed cattle drive--by riding alongside the killer...

AUTHOR BIO

Eric Red is a master storyteller, beginning with his first script in which he single handedly made picking up a hitchhiker as scary as Jaws did with going back in the water. After 30 years, The Hitcher remains one of the most popular horror movies ever and has continued running on cable and now streaming all over the world. His next film, Near Dark, completely changed the world of vampires by delivering some truly distinctive twists and themes to a very familiar genre and still inspires current movies and TV shows like Twilight and The Vampire Diaries. The same can be said for many of his other films that showcase his unique perspective on werewolves, body transplants and even mobsters.

His film, 100 Feet, starring Famke Jansen and Bobby Canavale “will be remembered as one of his best” hails top horror review site, Bloody Disgusting. The Hitchcockian thriller took the J-film genre to the next level with its uniquely personal psychological torture. Scream Magazine says, “Like Red’s best work – from his intense power script trio of the original HITCHER, the moody vampire pic NEAR DARK, and the glossy thriller BLUE STEEL; to his directorial wham-bang double of COHEN & TATE and the awesomely bonkers BODY PARTS – 100 FEET is another concentrated blast of slick entertainment.”  

Mr. Red continues to challenge the status quo in any genre he tackles. Most recently his new best-selling western novel series Noose has been hailed as breathing new life into the Western genre by Publishers Weekly, Library Journal, Roundup Magazine, Scream Magazine and Historical Novels Review. True West Magazine recently had this to say, “When Red brings his modern pacing and gift for gore to the classic Western genre, the result is something like the bloody lovechild of Jack Reacher and Louis L’Amour. Pulp Fiction meets High Noon, and it’s glorious.”

Whether the genre is horror, thriller or western, Mr. Red’s talent is digging into the psychology of people’s fears and bringing those front and center to the imagination. Comic Book Review said this about Mr. Red’s graphic novel, Containment. “How can you beat zombies in space? How can you top having Eric Red, screenwriter on the horrifying vampire movie Near Dark, creating a comic book where astronauts are millions of miles away in outer space, trying to fight off flesh-eating zombies? You can’t, so you just sit back and enjoy every creepy moment of it.”

In 1998, Stephen King proclaimed The Hitcher and Near Dark were on his top five desert island films in The New York Post. In 2019, The Hitcher remains on his list in a recent interview with JoBlo.com.  

Mr. Red’s works have garnered a huge audience and deep fan loyalty over the years as his projects continue to inspire and push the envelope. Throughout his career, he has always featured strong women characters and female-driven stories from Blue Steel, Bad Moon, 100 Feet to the Noose series.

website: http://www.ericred.com/

twitter: https://twitter.com/EricRed

facebook: https://www.facebook.com/officialericred

instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ericred/

[actransformer]

Its like every time she thinks about what she wants

“I don’t get it. I mean it’s just mind boggling to me! Its like every time she thinks about what she wants, it appears.” With some emotional exclamation, Mary questioned, “How does she do that?” The question Mary was asking has been asked Toroidal Transformers Manufacturers by so many so often. It just seems that some people have the gift of manifestation. They can imagine what they want and it appears. What they have is not magic or illusion, rather, they understand and use the Law of Attraction.

So what is this – Law of Attraction? Simply put, the Law of Attraction is like the Law of Gravity. It is one of the Universal or Natural Laws of this Universe. Working with mathematical certainty, the Law of Attraction is energy in motion. With a little indignation Mary replied, “O.K., so this energy in motion concept, just how does it work? I understand gravity. You take an egg, drop it on a counter, and it will break (unless it’s hard boiled, of course). But, energy in motion, I just don’t see? Explain please! Cause ‘energy in motion’ doesn’t get it for me.”

The Law of Attraction, much like gravity, works in defined ways – that’s why we call it a Universal or Natural Law. The fundamental principle is: Whatever you are consciously or unconsciously focusing on in your life you will attract. Put another way, what you think about you will receive. The more passionately you think about whatever it is the more of it you will attract. Therefore, your inner world defines your outer physical experience.

Think about your first comments. You stated, “Its like every time she thinks about what she wants, it appears.” That’s the Law of Attraction in action. The person you were thinking of understands, either consciously or unconsciously, how to use this powerful law.

Expectation is a part of this attractive force. What you expect in life, through the Law of Attraction, is drawn to you. If you focus on paying bills, you will always have bills to pay. If you focus on not having enough money, you won’t have enough money. In the example you mentioned at the start, the lady you were referring to must have expected to receive – and she did! The key is to expect the things you truly want, and don’t expect what you don’t want.

An important point to consider – the Law of Attraction doesn’t discriminate. It will give you just what you think about. So if you want better, you must change your thinking. Now, let me share five simple ways to make the Law of Attraction work for you.

1.Think about what you want. See it in your mind’s eye. Be clear about your intent. This is a critical step. All too often, people say they want one thing and then proceed to think another. It is not what you say you want that will be attracted to you…it’s what you actually think about that determines the result. “All we are is a result of what we have thought.” Buddha.

2.Take some time and ask yourself – honestly – how you feel about what you’ve asked for or intended. Go inside yourself and see if you feel it’s possible. Write down your thoughts about it. Talk to a friend and have them listen to you carefully and observe and note what you say. Are you sabotaging your own desire? Do you want what you want, enough to change your behavior? James Ray (jamesray) in the book, The Secret states, “When you look at our current state of affairs and define yourself by that, then you doom yourself to have nothing more than the same for your future.”

3.Create a visual image of your intention. Most of us want what we believe exists, therefore, creating a visual representation of what we desire helps us stay focused on desire. One simple example of this step in action relates to attracting money. Folks at the end of my seminars will often ask how to create the income they desire. The easiest way to create the visual image of what you want is to take your prior year’s earnings statement (in the USA it’s a W-2 form), white out the income numbers there and reinsert those income numbers that you want. Jack Canfield, author of Chicken Soup for the Soul tells the story of using this process of visualization. Needless to say, it worked for him and can for you as well.

4.Take action. The universe knows no time. Everything is now. But in the world we live in (human existence is linear) we must take steps to achieve what we desire. Remember it takes one step at a time to climb a mountain. In my experience, you can’t want something deeply - take no action - and expect it to appear. The first three steps are mental. This step is physical. If I want to run a marathon, and I’m not physically prepared, I must prepare. The act of preparing or taking action, is putting the Law of Attraction into motion. Gravity exists, but to see it demonstrated it requires some action. The same is true with the Law of Attraction – action creates action.

5.Lastly, feel what you want as if it is here. While this is a challenge to many, most highly successful people say that once they’ve made up their mind…they feel the same way they’d feel if they had what they wanted. Whether it’s Esther and Jerry Hicks authors of The Law of Attraction (abraham-hicks) or the many contributors to the book, The Secret by Rhonda Byrne (thesecret.tv), they all say the same thing, picture what you want in your minds eye, feel it and trust that you have it NOW! The feeling of it existing is key to the actual manifestation of what you truly want.

The above five steps, followed consistently, will dramatically improve the power and speed at which you apply the Law of Attraction. Let me share a simple, but profound story. My wife and I participate in a program called “Masterminding”. When two or more people hold in consciousness an outcome or each other’s desire, power increases through “Masterminding.” As the New Year dawned, we looked at our desires and noticed something profound. One thing we had on our Mastermind list was to pay off our credit cards. But, in reading that statement from a different perspective, we both realized that “paying off” meant we had debt and hence we were allowing the Law of Attraction to make sure we had “debt to pay off.”

As you can imagine, we immediately changed that. We replaced our old desire with the following Mastermind statement: “Money and abundance easily and effortlessly flows into our lives.” That evening we did our Mastermind session where we read out loud what we desired. The next day, I received a call from my mother who stated that my wife and I each would receive a check. For estate and tax purposes she needed to make two gifts.

Now attracting money “easily and effortlessly” is a much easier way to reduce debt or attract what you want than holding in consciousness our prior desire. When actions like this happen, it only reinforces the power of the Law of Attraction.

So other than reading this article, how can folks gain a better understanding of the Law of Attraction? My seminar “Make it Happen” focuses almost entirely on the methods and benefit of the Law of Attraction. For information, visit my web site: chuckgallagher and look at the presentations page or feel free to sign up for my free Choices ezine where we often look at the application of the Law of Attraction.

[kiss-my-freckle]

2x6 Rewatch: Futamono A "lidded dish"; typically a soup.

"The happy anticipation of being able to feel contempt." I like how Will responds to Jack. He has contempt for Hannibal because he has contempt for the Ripper. He differentiates Hannibal and Hobbs just as he did at their crime scenes - to which he harbors the same feelings. What he felt of Cassie Boyle's murder in comparison to what he felt of Elise Nichols'. Will cared to know Hobbs because he honored his victims. When it comes to meat, Hannibal has more respect for animals than he does for humans. And yet, I still find him contradictive. There's fear and suffering to be had in ripping a girl's lungs out while she's still breathing. Like Chilton when he became a gift basket. That's what bothers Will most about Hannibal, what he tolerates as he manipulates. For someone like Will, with the way his mind works, he can find beauty in the ugliness no matter how slight. There's nothing beautiful in the way Hannibal kills. "Who does he have to kill before you open your eyes?"

Back to the difference between their suits, the reason I loved watching Will and Hannibal suit up at the same time before his trial. "It's a thematic dish. My heart certainly feels skewered." Hannibal speaks as if he truly feels what one should when a friend betrays them, but he doesn't. What happens when one is disoconnected from the concept of friendship, assuming the feelings rather than actually feeling them. The same can be said of Will and his "family" in season three. It's an ill-fitting suit, you can see it in his scenes with Molly and Walter. He is disconnected, like a bowl of salad sitting on the side. Same can be said of Hannibal. How can one feel betrayed by a friend when they're disconnected from the concept. His heart didn't get skewered, he simply got a rip in the fabric of his person suit. That's why Hannibal sends Will his heart in season three. That's when he truly knows what it feels like to be skewered by a friend. They had to become friends first. Despite his intent to become friends in an effort to catch him, it was the entire purpose of Will’s manipulation in the second season. His intent doesn't change the way he changes Hannibal. Will's side of the friendship is the reason I chose to do an immediate rewatch - that which my viewing experience is lacking. I want the full view, to see the reason why Will considered running away with Hannibal. While I can already guess, even right now - assume, I want to be sure. The difference between Hannibal and Hobbs, which makes the opening of this episode so important, at least from my point of view. Will has to see Hannibal as he sees Hobbs and see Hobbs as he sees Hannibal. Hobbs loved his victims in his own way, but the very things he did to them were the very things he wanted to do to his own daughter, the one person he shouldn't want to hurt - to kill and consume. Hannibal can eat any time he wants, he's never short on food. But Hannibal doesn't have an Abigail, much less an Abigail to hunt with. He doesn't have Will. He has no thought to eat Will because his greatest desire is to be friends. That's what I feel sets the course, we'll see when I get there. Much of a ramble, back to the episode.

I said that I'd make mention to my favorite crime scene when I got to it. Here it is. Thoughts of The Blacklist as I watch this. Les Fleurs du mal, and what I was saying of Will's mind. That's quite the gaping wound, One Who Is Too Gay. Hannibal is ready to let Will go, to let his work with Jack go. Assuming the feelings but not really feeling them. He buries himself in dinner and music. I'm laughing at Will, he's that obvious. As I said before, he's quite capable of manipulation. Gideon does what Chilton failed to do, what Will asked him to. Confession is good for the soul. However funny, I believe this particular outburst of Gideon's is what gets him killed. He asks why Hannibal did it. Will knows why without need to hear it. Hannibal wanted to see what would happen. Chilton tells Jack of his tongue dinner with Hannibal, something Jack needed to hear. He still thinks Will is delusional. Hannibal meant what he said. He's letting Will go, letting his work with Jack go. Nearly dying wasn't fun. He plans to free both Will and Miriam so he can close the book on both and start anew. The entire purpose of my favorite crime scene.

Alana continues to disgust me. With as much as she defends Hannibal, she might as well be sleeping with him. Oh wait. Apparently the length of their friendship speaks to the quality of, and knowing him means knowing him. Like Hannibal, she has no idea what it means to be a friend, so they deserve each other. "And thinks it was a righteous act." What I continue to make mention to. I'm excited to rewatch them pick up where they left off. Will isn't lying, but Alana is right on the rest of it. He is manipulating. He is playing a game. And he isn't scared anymore. What happens when the danger of Will plays with the danger of Hannibal. It's fun to watch. Everyone else might as well get out of the way, only two people exist - the lure and the fish. Hannibal and his split screen walks in. He never lost a friend because he never made a friend. According to Hannibal, he should be applauding Will, but he's not. Fun, watching them jab each other. "You found a way to hurt me." Hannibal doesn't know hurting like Will knows hurting. Relationships built on lies are just that. The pain and betrayal Will felt reflects in Hannibal in the season two finale. That's when he really feels what Will felt. Hannibal's advice to Chilton, "Deny everything." He's not lying to Will, he's lying to himself. Accepting responsibility for the role he played in everything would force him to accept the kind of "friend" he was to him. 

Miriam’s rescue, its SIlence of the Lambs feel.

"You got the right box there, Jack, but you're looking in the wrong corner." Jack takes Gideon's comment as truth when it's lie. Not the part about hiring the nurse, as he always plays with purpose. But Chilton had no reason to want Gideon dead. He's only attacking Chilton in an effort to stay off Hannibal's dinner table. Unfortunately for Gideon, he has no idea Hannibal follows several trains of thought at once without distraction from any. All at full speed on the track. Gideon is part of his plan in Miriam's release. He's letting go of his work with Jack. 

Chilton is so obvious, I laugh when Hannibal winks at him. Alana is beyond naive. Beverly died because she listened to Will. Now that Jack and Chilton are listening, I can't imagine her not, but she's the only one that isn't. Instead, doubts the man she claims was a friend. It's one thing to have one person suspect Hannibal. Quite another to have everyone suspect him. This makes her discovery all the more enjoyable. When Hannibal takes Gideon, he uses the guard's death to free Will from the mental institution, stringing him up with the fish hooks he framed him with. Multiple trains for multiple purposes. "We have a lot of reasons to do this; not just funeral reasons." Of course not! Nothing like a good line to crack me up. Not only is she his alibi, she's the only thing he has left of Will. All that’s left of what he had at the start of the season. Alana is keeping him company while Will is not. Hannibal uses clay to roast Gideon's thigh. "Rare to get it, hard to keep it." Gideon is talking of Will because he knows. Will gave Hannibal a rare gift, but he didn’t want it. Brian as he realizes Will didn't kill anyone is exactly what I wanted to see from his character. It's the first time I actually like him.

[thenextrush]

Did the show really need hosts?

Hosted by Nick Lachey and wife Vanessa, the show was pretty self sufficient without them as they only appeared in several episodes, they didn’t even bother to show up for the 82 minute season finale.    It wasn’t like Next in Fashion where participants needed handholding and direction each week with challenges, and it didn’t even need voiceover narration like they did in The Circle.

Total air time from this supercouple couldn’t have been more than 10 minutes in total, where do I sign up Netflix?  Easiest gig ever!

A wall within the conversation pods divides the couple who decide on who they want to “date” without the pressures of appearance and visual social cues

Not seen the show?  Here’s what you missed:

If you’ve missed the first 9 episodes, it’s different to Married at First Sight because the daters have a chance to engage and get to know prospective partners before taking a leap of faith:

The bachelors live on one side of the complex, while the bachelorettes live on the other.

From 30 singles, 6 couples got engaged and headed to Mexico for their first physical date / honeymoon

35 days is how long it took for them to date in the pods, meet in person, meet their parents, with weddings taking place on the last day

Diamonds are not this guy’s best friend:

One of the most memorable confrontations took place in Episode 4 and because of Social Media & Marketing Manger Carlton Morton‘s omission, it led to NBA Dancer, Diamond Jack making decisions without all the information resulting in a missed opportunity for the show because she turned out to be a firecracker with her dramatic exit.  Whether he wanted to or not, Carlton became the poster boy for fluid orientation and he lost whatever sympathy that could have left this story on a positive note because of that temper tantrum by the pool that will define his Love is Blind appearance for years to come.   His outrage at Diamond was misdirected and inappropriate.  But she gave as good as she got putting him in his place, she needs to come back in Season 2 or ask her to host the show if she’s got a spare ten minutes in case the Lachey’s are busy!   No one deserves to be spoken to like that especially when you drop a bombshell from them out of no where expecting them to be okay with it the next day.  Obviously, they didnt make it to the altar with the couple throwing in the towel in Mexico and going their separate ways.

The Weddings in the Season Finale:

Up until the season finale, the soundtrack of the show could rival any Weddings Greatest Hits essential playlist with its light and bubbly vibe.   As each couple uses the same reception venue to tie the knot, the music quickly turns into a dramatic symphony straight out of a Star Wars Jedi battle as the marriage celebrant ends his piece to recite vows with the question:  “Is Love Blind”, the couples then respond with an “I Do” or an “I Don’t”.

Giannina pours her heart out in a poem:

The fiery Venezuelan retail owner, Giannina Gibelli has been a ticking time bomb since she and Industry Supply Manager, Damian Powers left the pod and it started almost straight away on that yacht in Mexico.  Even her mother before the wedding says to her daughter in Spanish that she “better be serious and not treat this as a game”.

Giannina finally seemed ready, taking on board a hurt and worn down Damian’s feedback at dinner.   The love-hate exchanges with these two seemed to come from a place of passion making them so entertaining to watch because they’d somehow always make their way back to that place they found in the pod.

She genuinely seemed to be making an effort especially with a poem she wrote for him accompanied with socks to wear to the wedding:

“The beginning was rough the middle was sweet the other half was a lot and soon we’ll reach our peak. I asked you once ‘Can you handle me?’ I hope you know now and forget the rest cause ready or not, this isn’t a test So what do you want? Only you can guess”

As Giannina walks down the aisle at the end of Episode 9, Damian becomes teary.

Damian’s shocking 360:

Damian has been pretty consistent and devoted to his fiancee who on several ocassions throughout the season has gone on a tyrade.  The season finale opens with Damian responding to the marriage celebrant’s question to take Giannina as his lawfully wedded wife:

“I do not” he says quivering as tears roll down his face.

Did not see that coming at all, total blindside.  What’s weird is he thinks he can still salvage a friendship with Giannina after she runs out of the church in embarrassment leaving guests and family in a state of awkwardness.   His decision makes Giannina the only woman from the group to have been ditched at the altar.

Opposites Attract until Barnett freaks out:

Ex-Military Tank Mechanic, Amber Pike pretty much quit her waitressing job after she got engaged.  Her dream was to get married, be a stay-at-home mom and let her future husband dig her out of credit card and student loan debt and pay for the $850 custom tailoring on her wedding gown.   Meeting Matt’s family couldn’t have been easy but her unpredictability complements well with the .

Brawl for a Cause fitness professional, Matt (aka Barnett) gets cold feet and things are looking grim with a montage of his doubts if having to choose between his family and fiancee, her financial insecurity and a conversation with his rational thinking brother.  “Getting married means putting that other person before yourself.  Are you ready to give up everything for that person?”.  Matt doesn’t return any of Amber’s calls or texts the morning of the wedding and finally shows up at the eleventh hour.

Turns out it’s just a normal case of wedding day jitters and professes to Amber that he “can’t imagine a life without you”.  Classic Prince Charming Cinderella match right there!

What’s the real reason Kelly wouldn’t sleep with Kenny?

Health Coach, Kelly admitted it herself, that maybe “her whole definition of love is not right” because despite saying that intimacy in previous relationships she’s had without connection has been a total let down and kiss of death for her, she finally comes clean saying she’s “conflicted” because she doesn’t “know if she is 100% in love with him”.

Turns out she’s not physically attracted to him.  Architectural Lighting Consultant Kenny Barnes who is five years younger than her is totally infatuated like a puppy dog and it’s actually devastating to watch him being ditched at the altar.

Poor Kenny, this match really seemed like it was going to work as viewers bought in to Kelly’s stalling.  We were all so distracted with Jessica’s inability to reconcile pod and physical life that we didnt see this coming either.    Especially after Kenny and Kelly’s parents met and had similar shotgun wedding experiences themselves.  There also seemed to be great chemistry between both families in Episode 7.

“This experiment, it brought me to you.” said Kelly at the altar, “Someone who is so fabulous in every single aspect. This has been a wild ride and I am grateful that it has been with you because you’ve been nothing but supportive, and I appreciate every single moment that I shared with you. And I love you.” 

Declaring how much she adores Kenneth and loves him, after the marriage celebrant asks if she’ll take his hands, it all comes crashing down when she says “I don’t” and leaves the chapel with a dumbfounded groom.

Standing alone at the altar, a brave class act of a gentleman,  Kenny addresses the guests in a heartfelt moment that moves the bride’s mother as she whispers to her husband how much he loves the guy for his humble words:

“Obviously this is just a whirlwhind for everyone, and again, don’t want to dive too deep into it, and delve. Because you take something that is so complex, and it is authentic, and it is real, but today is not our day. Um, but I love each and everyone of y’all, and it’s something that I’ll cherish and be grateful for forever.”

Kelly later says to the camera that “I’m fucking 33 and I should know what I want” and the story ends there for now…

Everyone knew this relationship was doomed except Mark:

He was adamant that he didn’t want to “play second fiddle” when it was clear she was weighing up options.  Tech sales rainmaker, Jessica Batten was embarrassing herself continuously with her drunken rants and throwing herself at Matt with no shame and then denying when she sobered up.

All the red flags were there, love truly was blind for personal trainer, Mark Cuevas  who had to have been in denial about their connection and of course she ditched him at the altar.

No surprise there, that coupling always seemed to be doomed.   In the end, Jessica admits that emotional connections aren’t enough and that for a relationship she jumps in to, it’s a combination of mind, body and spirit.   Watching the season back, she clearly always wanted Matt and her efforts to try and make it work with someone she wasn’t physically attracted to weren’t enough.   We would’ve been more sympathetic to her if she hadn’t made indirect passes at Matt after he got engaged to Amber.

We get the happy ending we were rooting for:

The award for sweetest couple of the season has to go to Articial Intelligence Scientist, Cameron Hamilton and Content Creator, Lauren Speed.  It’s in this union we saw total authenticity and openness on both sides.

“Everyday that we’ve spent together has been a blessing to me. There’s so much I love about you. You made me want to be a btter an and you have evberythign I need in a partner and I feel very blessed to have you in my life” – Cameron

“Cameron I love that you make me comfortable being fully myself. No matter how flawed, goofy or broken I may have been. I’m thankful for our time together and how happy our moments are.” – Lauren

The lead up to their vows brought some great moments through the season.  From their first physical meeting to Cameron meeting Lauren’s father, a touching moment between Lauren and her father before walking her down the aisle and Cameron with his mother.  True Commitment.  A family that works.  A marriage that seems like it’s set to last.

The season closes with their final thoughts summing up their experience:

“She has everything I’ve always dreamed about in a partner. She’s charismatic, but down to earth, she’s confident but also humble. She’s intelligent, she’s kind.” – Cameron

“I don’t think I ever could have met someone like Cameron any other way. I’ve been looking for Cameron for over 30 years. Apparently Cameron was looking for me too, I’m glad we finally found each other.” – Lauren

Just two nuptials take place out of the remaining couples.

The final episode becomes available tonight globally 7.30pm (Australian EST). Add it to your MYLIST if you’re looking for something to binge on this weekend.

Click below to read more reviews and news on (New articles daily)

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  Love is Blind: Who gets ditched at the altar? #loveisblind #loveisblindnetflix @netflixanz #netflix #netflixuk @camrhamilton @mattdbarnett1 @sexfact01 @KennyBarnes_11 @damian__powers @gianninagibelli @wpp_aunz @need4lspeed Did the show really need hosts? Hosted by Nick Lachey and wife Vanessa, the show was pretty self sufficient without them as they only appeared in several episodes, they didn't even bother to show up for the 82 minute season finale.   

[artificialqueens]

I'm sorry I did this (no ship/Adore-centric) -Burgundy

AN: This… is an interesting one. I really didn’t mean to write another one where I took out all my emotions on Adore, but look where we’re at now. If you have any questions, comments, concerns, or if you just wanna share some ideas, go yell at me @artificialburgundy.

“The first attempt was a dark night. Adore was sitting on her bed, not being able to stop shaking.” tw for suicide attempt, self harm mention, alcohol abuse, overdoses, and the such.

Hope you enjoy! xx <3

Alaska had raced up the apartment stairs, heart beating in her chest so hard that she could hear Adore’s voice in her mind. This couldn’t be happening. Two hours ago she was fine, sitting on her couch and mindlessly humming. She collided into someone that she didn’t recognize until she took a step back.

Katya was there, the same look of shock on her face. It was a silent agreement that they were going to the same place, that they were there for the same person. Without a word, they kept walking up, finally reaching Adore’s room.

…

do you think twelve tylenols is too many?

Alaska had just waved it off as Adore being Adore, not knowing how much medicine to take.

Maybe tone it down to two.

The dots to show that Adore was responding kept appearing and disappearing. This wasn’t a rare occurrence, Adore being one of the most indecisive people that was in their little friend group. They kept going away until a small response was formed.

ok

Nothing else came of that.

…

“Aren’t you dying of heat stroke?” Bianca had asked, pointing to Adore’s black sweater that was even hot to touch in the summer sun. Adore shrugged, a small smile on her face to show that everything was alright.

“I don’t feel temperature, I’m a vampire,” she chuckled, causing some laughs from the other girls. Katya had noticed how unbearably hot the sun was just on her bare arms, so she couldn’t imagine what Adore was feeling.

“I can hold your sweater for you, Adore,” Alaska drawled out, pulling at the hem of the sweater. Adore slapped Alaska’s hand away, making the blonde gasp a little. Adore quickly realized what she had done, putting her hands up.

“I’m sorry, It’s fine, I swear,”

No one bought it.

…

Once they had finally reached the room, a letter was on the small table in the living room. The two looked at each other, and Alaska nodded for Katya to step ahead and read it. Katya’s voice was a bit wobbly as she read what was on the paper.

was a little bird brain, now she’s fucking insane. -sorry guys.

Something cold ran through Alaska as she locked eyes with Katya. Green started to speckle Katya’s normally blue eyes, which meant she was feeling very strongly. They were stuck in their silent acknowledgement, not being able to form the words to truly say what the fuck was going on.

…

The breakup between Bianca and Adore had been messy, and definitely damaged them both. However, they both coped in their different ways. Bianca had just enveloped herself in her work, distracting herself from the sadness that she felt. Even though Adore had made more music, she had still been taking it a lot worse than Bianca, and stopped doing a lot. The only ones who got contact with her were her mom and occasionally Alaska.

And Alaska would try her hardest to keep Adore happy. There were some nights where it was extremely difficult, and Alaska would notice the increasing marks that kept appearing on Adore’s wrist, but saying anything was probably a bad idea.

The first attempt was a dark night.

Adore was sitting on her bed, not being able to stop shaking. The text messages kept flooding into Alaska’s inbox, making her more and more worried. She was going as fast as she could and yet it wasn’t fast enough. The younger was an absolute mess of tears and apologies that just kept bubbling out of her throat.

They sat in the hospital in silence.

…

i’m sorry i did this

That was the only text Katya had gotten from Adore in a while, and it was really ominous. She wasn’t quite sure how to respond to it, but she tried her best.

What did you do?

There wasn’t a response. Katya’s eyes kept flicking to her door, contemplating picking up her keys and driving to Adore’s little apartment. It wasn’t convenient, but it didn’t matter because Adore could be fucking dead by the time she got there. The news of the first attempt had spread like wildfire and Adore was put on several more medicines. Katya finally started booking it towards her car, haphazardly putting her hair up.

I’m on my way,

It didn’t really matter if that text sent, because Adore probably wouldn’t be checking for it anyway.

…

i’m sorry i did this

And Alaska knew exactly what she needed to do. She wasted no time in grabbing her keys from her purse and heading out the door. She probably looked a little disheveled, but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered in that moment except for going to Adore’s house right now. The speed limit was mocking her.

When she finally showed up was when it all set in, but she wasn’t about to start crying or anything like that.

…

Katya and Alaska made their way up to the rooftop, where a familiar brunette sat with a Jack Daniels bottle and a pen and paper. A small wave of relief when they both realized she was still alive for the time being. They sat on different sides of the younger, not saying anything.

Katya quietly grabbed the bottle and slid it away from Adore. Alaska grabbed the pen and paper and scanned over the page. Song lyrics, small doodles, and what looked like a half written suicide note littered the page. It was a mess, but it seemed to fit the situation. Alaska regretted her decision to not grab a jacket on her way out, considering it was so cold out.

Adore was shivering, having been out in just a shirt and shorts for the longest time. The alcohol coursing through her system was mildly warming her up, but it mainly hurt her stomach that had been full of pills.

“What did you do?” Katya’s voice was quiet, her nails absentmindedly running through Adore’s messy hair. Adore slumped, her eyes closing and there was a slight fear they wouldn’t open.

“A lot of pills,” she answered, “nothing else.”

Alaska and Katya made eye contact again, but still kept quiet. Adore wasn��t saying anything either, as her mind kept running with different phrases and scenarios that could happen. Alaska made the first move and wrapped her lanky arms around Adore’s body, resting her chin on the top of the younger’s head. Katya followed this lead, wrapping her arms below Alaska’s and resting her head on Adore’s shoulder.

“I’m so sorry,” Adore’s voice was breathless, barely being above a whisper. Katya shushed her.

“You don’t have to apologize,” Katya’s voice level matched Adore’s. Tears started to stream down Adore’s face, hiccuping quiet sobs that got stuck in her throat. Alaska’s arms tightened around the brunette. They stayed like this for quite a while. Adore finally quietly spoke up, her voice hoarse.

“I think I need to go to the hospital,”

And a silent agreement fell over them as Katya helped Adore up, Alaska leading Adore downstairs. 

[imaginedaydreamsquad-blog]

Joe Sugg Imagine #2

You and Joe have been together for a while, he broke up with you for another girl. You’re broken. (happy end) Word Count: 2.6k Pairing: Joe x Reader ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I still felt the pain, it was like an echo in my hollow heart. It’s been six months. Six months in which I told myself every morning, that it’d be okay to give me strength to get through the day. Six months in which I smiled and reassured me and my friends that I was alright. Six months in which I was laying in bed at the end of a long day, crying because it still hurt so bad. It hurt looking at him. But after these six months I couldn’t handle the pain anymore. So I awoke at a Monday and told myself that no one would ever get this much power over me to hurt me like that ever again. And with that I cut the feelings away. I didn’t feel anything at all. Empty. No more tears, no more heartbreak, no more hope. Nothing. I was finally feeling strong again. No one could get to me. No one could hurt me. I could finally sleep again. I could see him in the eye without feeling tears well up… All was good.

„Y/N?“ I flinched at the sudden call of my name. It was him. Joe. I looked him in the eyes and lost myself in the blue. But instead of feeling my heartbeat speed up, or butterflies in my stomach or a painful stab in the heart I felt nothing. „What did you say?“ I asked him, because I didn’t pay attention. „I asked if you want to grab a coffee?“ He was nervous, I could see it in his eyes and in the way he stepped from one foot onto the other. He still felt bad. Even if we were something like friends again. But he didn’t have to be careful anymore. I was strong again. „Sure.“ I smiled and stood up to grab my wallet. It was still warm enough to not wear a jacket. The sun stood low on the sky, it must’ve been something between afternoon and evening. The elevator ride was quiet, but it was a comfortable silence. As we walked out in the streets a cold breeze hit us and made us shiver. But it somehow woke me up and my steps became lighter. I felt a smile creep on my face and I held my face in the sun. I loved this time of day. Joe also squinted against the sun and was completely by himself. I didn’t want to interupt him. The wind was playing with his hair and at that I realized he wasn’t wearing a cap, like he always did the past weeks. „Where did your-?“ But he wouldn’t let me finish. „She won’t come anymore“, he quickly answered. She? „It… It’s over.“ And with that I realized that he was talking about her. HER. IT WAS OVER. „That… I’m sorry… even if I meant your cap and not Hannah“, I explained. Hannah. That was the name of my own personal hell. The was simply perfect. Perfect body, perfect blonde hair, perfect style, perfekt mind. The perfect face. I just had to think about her dimples to get jealous. Hannah. The perfect match for Joe. They would never fight, they harmonized perfectly. It seemed like it was the perfect relationship. Couple goals. It was even more shocking for me to hear about them breaking up. „Oh, I wasn’t in the mood for it“, he explained, ran his fingers through his hair and smiled that half smile, that did crazy things to my heart before I lost all my emotions. „For what? The relationship? But why? Hannah was perfect!“, I admitted and his smile formed into a full on grin now. „I mean the cap, Y/N.“ „Oh“, I blushed and watched my feet. Suddenly Joe stopped his steps, which startled me. I came to a halt too, confused about what was going on. „I’m really sorry, you know. I always wanted to tell you that. I’m sorry that I was such a dick. And I’m sorry about how it ended between us. I mean. I don’t understand why we even stayed friends. Why would you still be around such an asshole like me.“ „Joe.“ He was hard on himself. „You know we couldn’t just stop being friends. We have the same friends. And I’m your roommate. Wouldn’t be too practical to not talk to your roommate, huh? Besides, I don’t think your an asshole. Not anymore, anyways. I mean. It hurt being ditched because of someone else but Hannah was perfect. And I’m not.“ I saw tears in his eyes and without thinking about it I pulled him in for a hug. I forgave him. He apologized. We were okay. Everyting’s gonna be alright. I let him go and as we arrived at the café big smiles were on our faces. It became a nice evening. We talked like before and it wasn’t awkward at all. I loved having him back. We made plans to go out on the weekend and lauhed about stories from our past. We stayed about 3 hours at the café, and as we went home we watched a movie together. It was the first night I felt content and comfortable in our shared apartment after our breakup. Because of the non-existent feelings I still felt empty, but I was glad that there were no hard feelings between me and Joe anymore. We went straight back to being as close as we were before the drama. With everyday we hung out it became more obvious that we tried to make up fort he time „apart“. Even our friends seemed to be relieved, that everything was back to normal, Conor even asked if we were dating again, which I laughed off big time. Joe sensed that something was different when we watched the notebook. „You didn’t cry one bit, did you?“ I just shrugged. „Nope. Didn’t get to me.“ „You still cried two hours after the movie ended the last time we watched it.“ „Well, people change, I guess.“ „I guess“, he answered giving me a confused look. „Joe, I just have a bit more control over my feelings nowadays.“ „But… I mean, you can’t just control the way something makes you feel.“ „Yeah you can, you just have to train yourself.“ „But why would you do that?“ „To not get hurt ever again“, I quietly answered and I saw the way his face fell. He knew I was talking about us. „Come here.“ He held his arms out for me. „Why?“ „You need a cuddle.“ „No.“ „A big cuddle.“ „No, Joe, I don’t.“ „Yeah you do. Come to me or I will get you.“ But I didn’t cave. So he threw himself at me to get me to cuddle him. After a playfight he won. Of course, he was stronger than me, physically. „See. That’s nice. You needed that, Y/N.“ „No, YOU needed that“, I fired back, but let him pull me closer and laid my head on his chest. „Hm… yeah. I needed that.“ And at that moment I felt something. A warm feeling increased in my heart, making me feel bubbly. No. I could not possibly be falling again for Joe. That was impossible. So I focused on my breathing and the feelig was gone. But I couldn’t stop thinking about it. He was tearing my walls down and that couldn’t be happening.

„Y/N? Baby“ He knew I hated nicknames. „What’s up, Joezeeboe“, I answered using his mothers old nickname. „Would you help me? I’m cooking.“ „Nope.“ „Pretty please.“ „Alright, but only because it’s you.“ If he knew, how true that was. We were closer than ever. Almost every other night we would sleep in the same bed, just because we forgot to walk to our room, after a movie or long conversations. I joined him in the kitchen and sighed. „You sound like an elephant running down the stairs like that“, he laughed as he cut onions. „Shut your mouth, or the elephant runs up the stairs again.“ He just laughed louder. „I didn’t say you look like one“, he explained and threw the onions in the preheated pan. I just shook my head and grabbed a knife to help him. „Why are you always choosing the most difficult recipes?“ I asked him. „I love challenges.“ „Well, you do, but why do you involve me in that as well?“ „Because I can.“ I could hear the grin on his face.

As the meal was ready an das delicious as imagined, we filled our plates massivly and began to eat. „Thank you for helping“, Joe said with his mouth full and I couldn’t help but laugh about his face. He looked like a hamster. „You’re very welcome, if you do the dishes alone.“ „Y/N!“ I laughed again. „I’m kidding. But we made a mess and you know I hate cleaning up.“ „Yeah, me too. But after that we can watch a movie. Or Game of Thrones. You choose.“ He took a sip from his wine and looked at me with questioning eyes. The sparkle in them is unreal, I thought to myself as I let myself get lost in them. He truly had won my heart all over again and as much as I enjoyed every minute we spend together as much I hated myself for falling for that idiot for the second time. „I don’t care. I’m tired. You choose, I’m probably gonna be asleep in less than ten minutes.“ „Noooo, you can’t be tired! I had planned a wonderful evening“, he pouted. „You’re making this sound like it’s a date or something“, I laughed and meant it as a joke but when he didn’t join my laughter I became nervous. This couldn’t be a date. It just couldn’t. „Which it’s obviously not“, I pointed out. „No. Obviously.“ Phew. As much as I was disappointed as much I was relieved. Surely he wouldn’t make the mistake of dating me a second time. After everything edible has been eaten from the both of us, we quickly made the dishes. „The Maynards are coming over in twenty.“ He told me. „But I thought we wanted to watch something?“ „Yeah, well, they wanted to join us and as you said this isn’t a date.“ Did he sound pissed? Was he annoyed with me for speaking out the truth? Did he think this was a date? I was confused. „Alright, then. I haven’t seen them in ages.“ He just nodded. I knew something was off, but I just didn’t know what the matter was.

As the doorbell rang, signalling that the Maynards arrived everything was clean. Joe went to open the door and I sat down on the coach waiting for all 3 to join me. Conor was the first to greet me. „Y/N! I havent seen you since forever. How are you? You look amazing by the way,I love your hair today.“ He was always so sweet to me and I wished I would have fallen in love with him. „Thank you, Conor I missed you. I’m good.“ I hugged him quickly but friendly and turned to Jack who already held his arms out for me. „Well, well, little Lady. Look at yourself you‘re becoming more beautiful everyday.“ „Oh, shut up, Jack you’re making me blush.“ I laughed and let him pull me into a hug. As we all settled on the coach, me and Joe on the long end, with our feet up, Jack and Conor on the other side, laying in the cushions. We settled for a romantic comedy, as we all didn’t want to pay attention too much. And as I said earlier after ten minutes I was very sleepy and laid my head against Joe’s shoulder. I was at the edge of falling asleep when I heard Conor say: „So, you and her again?“ „No“, Joe whispered so I wouldn’t wake up. „Not after what I did to her.“ „Have you seen the way she looks at you?“, Jack chimed in. „She’s head over heals for you.“ „Well, you clearly didn’t pay attention at all. Today she told me that she doesn’t want a date with me. It’s over. We’re friends. It’s good like that.“ „Good is not perfect, Joe.“ „Maybe it isn’t. But maybe good is the best I can get for now.“ I feel anger building inside of me. How come he suddenly wants more than just friendship? Why did he leave me when he wants me? I coudn’t wrap my head around it. I didn’t want to wrap my head around it. I felt the urge to get out. Get out to clear my head. So I stood up and without a word I left. Silence. That’s what I need.

I wandered the streets in our neighbourhood for what felt like forever. But as I made my back to our apartment  I had calmed down. I knew Joe would ask me why the fuck I would do that. But I didn’t care. As I entered our apartment I heard Joe in the kitchen so I went to him. „Where are Jack and Conor?“ I asked as if nothing happened. „Gone. They went home like an hour ago.“ „Hm. How was the film?“ I tried to be calm and collected but I could feel that my hands began to shake. „Good. Nothing special. Y/N?“ „Hm?“ „Would you look at me,please?“ I didn’t realize that Joe had come closer. „Please.“ So I looked up, directly into his eyes. We stared at eachother in silence and my heart began to race. I couldn’t. My walls have been torn down. I was defeated. „Joe… I… I can’t.. it’s.“, I stammered and took a few steps back. „What is it? Why did you run away? Was it something I said, or…?“ „It’s just.. I.. You broke me and I promised myself to never feel again and then you apologized and we became friends again and I forgave you and I… You started to tear my walls down. I was convinced that I would never love again. And you of all people have to be the person I fall in love with. Again.“ I didn’t care that I started to cry. I finally had the courage to tell him the truth. Even if that meant to get my heart broken all over again. „You… sure?“ I just shrugged, then nodded and wiped my tears away. „I always… I always thought I wasn’t… doesn’t matter…“, he interrupted himself. It seemed like he was more upset than I was. „Joe… I’m sorry, I can’t control my feelings after all.“ „Well, neither can I. Nobody can. When I met Hannah she was all I ever dreamed of in a girl. But that wasn’t the reason I broke up with you. You know why I called it quits? Because it felt too right. You felt too right. And I coudn’t let myself trust someone like that. I never had loved someone like I loved you. I got scared. So I had to push you away. Hannah was perfect so I thought it would be easy to forget you when I’m with her. It wasn’t. I could’ve punched myself everytime I heard you cry. I was miserable and Hannah knew that. She wanted that you moved out. But I couldn’t let you go. So I broke up with her. I never thought you would forgive me after that. But you did. I don’t deserve you. Noone deserves you.“ He cried, too. After his rant we just stood there, looking at us crying. He loves you, I told myself again and again. He loves you. My tears ran out and I smiled at him. „I thought I was strong, not feeling anything. Fuck that. I’m strong, when we’re together.“ „You make me strong“, he sang to me as he embraced me and kissed me passionately. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hey guys, I hoped you liked the second one. This ones a bit dramatic. :D  Love, Kat .xx