#I was not expecting this to happen in an irl convo I was not expecting to be thrusted back into 2014 TT0TT

[the-scintillant-sys-sideblog]

i think the funniest things are when our friends say stuff like "did you meet [x] in real life lol" or "[x] is real <3" when it's about a character we have a fictive of because like

little do you know you're correct in more ways than one

[eviltext]

“we swear we’re not blowing you off, we just can’t go these days, i swear we really want to” . bitch this is the third time at this point. whatver. im gonna tell you i believe youbbut i stg if i ever reach out to u myself again im gonna kill myself

[snekdood]

i think its really weird and unnecessary to unload your life stories and traumas on a streamer unless its specifically in a context where thats asked for or mentioned its ok to do? idk im just watching old streams of someones and ppl keep going on about how bad everything in their life is and that the streams are the only thing keeping them going on like whats supposed to be a lighthearted minecraft stream....??? tf is going on sdghvdsvgh

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

Me: *talking about the older Disney Princess movies and how I'm re-watching them* Someone: Oh yeah, but man those older ones, the OG 3? They were horrible representation for wom- Me:

Me: Speak not another word, lest we get thrusted back into the good year of 2014. This is why Frozen gagged y'all, cause people had that antiquated and twisted mindset of something that doesn't exist.

[its-your-mind]

Tbh I??? Really love these Bell’s Hells Company Retreat Activities???? Bc like. It’s not like any of them have been overly cagey this whole time, or actively hiding big secrets from each other. (someone at some point mentioned how BUCKwild it would have been to watch the M9 try to play What The Fuck Is Up With That within the first ten episodes of c2, with all the shit all of them were hiding and how much their early relationships were based on a mutual understanding that no one would expect each other to bring up the past unless it became a danger - the only one who ever poked that particular bear was Beau with Caleb at the start when she traded access to the Archive for the reason why Caleb gets fucked up by fire, and that private conversation shaped their relationship for the rest of the campaign BUT I digress.)

Nothing anyone confessed during the Honesty exercise was… a surprise. The only one who hadn’t shared the entirety of his past (that he remembered) was Chetney, and his was never the past that felt like a threat - that revelation was more along the lines of FCG’s type of “tell me about your family trauma so I can fix you” line of questioning.

The truths the Hells offered up to each other… they were significant (Fearne, I was disappointed in you for being afraid of your power), and scary (deep down, both Delilah and I kind of want the shard), and hard to say out loud (even on the nights I bunk up with one of you, I feel so lonely), but critically, so little of it was surprising. No one was sharing anything earth-shattering about their pasts or previously unknown plans for future betrayal.

And during the Communication exercise - none of them - Chetney, Imogen, Ashton, or Orym - doubted that their directors were leading them the wrong way. They listened, and paid attention to instructions, and didn’t try their own path because they felt like they knew better.

And then during Trust! The part that should have been the hardest!! All of them were obviously distrustful of each other, shooting around stressed looks, sending familiars to dive-bomb to check for flesh, but like… none of them actually turned on each other. None of them ganged up, or broke off, or stood in opposition - they were wary of each other, and they got the task done.

So… it didn’t really lead to any huge shifts in the dynamic. But that was never really what they needed! The Hells have trusted each other since the beginning, and even when they’re actively having to fight each other, it’s always with a desperation born from a place of concern. They really do care for and love each other. I don’t think any of them, if they sat down to think about it, truly believed that one of them was going to betray the others.

But they haven’t had time to sit and think about it. They have been actively fighting the literal end of the world since like… ep 45 (first irl Ludinus sighting/convo). The apocalypse happened. Has been happening. For thirty episodes now. They spent a good chunk of that time apart from each other, and then the rest of it desperately reaching out to anyone with more power than themselves to beg for their help.

So yeah! It’s not a big surprise that they’re all bottling up a lot of their own shit right now! There aren’t that many personal issues that feel like they deserve more attention than the literal end of the world.

It was inevitable something was going to give. And since Ashton’s shit was up next for dissection because they had a past that brushed up against the Primordials? Of course they were the one whose internal lockdown broke first. And of course when it did, it physically shattered Ashton, too, right along those same fault lines where Milo put them back together the first time. It’s so good that they had friends who were there, past and present, to make sure none of the pieces got lost. To put them back together.

We watched Laudna break down right after, specifically because she was back home, in this place where Delilah had first tortured and killed her, where she had lived as a wraith haunting a castle. Delilah had been slowly picking the lock on the cage the Hells had forced her into, and Ashton’s “betrayal” was the last tumbler Delilah needed to snap into place to break the lock in Laudna’s mind. And her mind shattered, fragmented in the same way it had been after she was first brought back as Delilah’s vessel. How beautiful that it was Laudna’s love of children and her desire to make Ashton a gift (meant to be part insult, “because you’re a child,” and declaration of her care for him, “I like children.”)

And Fearne… Fearne almost broke down after them. Slamming the hammer down next to Ashton’s head over and over and over, screaming at him, wandering away through the city, sleeping alone in the woods… She saw the cliff’s edge coming. That’s why she asked them if they could stop at her Nana’s first.

Because she needed it. And the rest of the Hells say, “Why? Do you think Nana Morri can help us in this?” And Fearne says, “Well, I don’t know, but…” And Imogen says, “Do you need it for you?” And Fearne says, in a small and shattered voice, “…yes.”

And that’s the end of the discussion.

They go home, to a place where they are safe and have time, for the first time since Ruidus was locked in place.

And so they have time to be Honest - and they are. Fearne likes to watch them all and play with their hair while they sleep. Orym has thought through how he would neutralize them if he absolutely had to. Ashton thinks it would be better for him to be dead than for Fearne to be hurt. Imogen is scared to face her mom. Laudna dreams of leaving this behind. FCG is jealous of the people around him with a heart, because they have possibilities he doesn’t. Chetney hasn’t settled down once in 400 years because he’s scared he’s cursed to drive away any family he has.

Behind all of this - I want to know everything about you. I need to make sure you don’t hurt each other. I would sacrifice myself to keep you from pain. I don’t want to choose between my blood and this family we’ve built. I want you all to be safe. I want you to pursue happiness. I don’t want to lose you.

And then, Communication - follow along this path. Listen to my voice. Keep calm, keep quiet. Stay the course. I will keep you safe. Keep walking, keep walking, and… you’re there, honey.

And finally, Trust. Two of them are going to be replaced by fae beings bent on preventing them from completing their mission, and they have to complete this task without letting the infiltrators stop them. Okay. Let’s all stick together. Keep eyes on each other. Wait for the doppelgängers to give themselves away somehow. Do you remember these small, banal details about our mutual history? There’s a possibility that action you took was malicious, but I know you well enough to know that might have been a mistake you made on your own. Here, I’ll walk into traps to show that I’m not going to stop you. I’ll get out of your way and take out the threats. I’ll be eyes in the sky and send my familiar to poke you to test if you feel like you should. But nothing you’re doing makes me see you as a real threat - just the possibility of one. I trust you. I trust in you. I trust myself to know enough about you to identify if you’re doing something differently than normal.

And the result of those exercises? No new information, but maybe some things that we all had lost track of amongst the chaos. I am not shocked by your Honesty. I know deep down that I can rely on your Communication. I do Trust you. I know you. I care for you. I know you care for me, too. Even when I have doubts, even when you fuck up, even when things break bad and you make the wrong call…

We are a team for a reason, and no matter what we said in the beginning, it is not just out of necessity or convenience. Are we a bunch of fucked up, broken people? Absolutely. Are we going to continue to fuck up? Probably. Does that change how we feel about each other? No. Never. As long as you’ll have me, I’ll be here, fighting alongside you. Helping you up when you stumble. Offering a shoulder when you need to cry. Standing over you to protect you if you fall. Laughing with you in good times, kicking ass for you in bad. This is our family, damn it. It is strange, and broken, but it is ours, and it is good.

[dreaaspeaks]

How Tokio Hotel members would be in Hogwarts

idk why no one has thought of this but thanks to my irl, this idea has been rotting away at my brain (these ain't my gifs ya'll)

Bill Kaulitz

I know some people might disagree but Bill is a Slytherin, HEAR ME OUT

he is ambitious, cunning and highly persuasive

He is definitely one of those students that no one really knows why at face value why he got into his house

People presume, if he isn't in uniform, that he is a Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw

He takes his passions and ambitions very seriously and is willing to overwork both himself and sometimes unintentionally, the people around him to reach his goals

I feel like he hates potions and transfiguration but loves more easy going subjects like Care for Magical Creatures and Divination

He probably likes the idea of Defence Against the Dark Arts but hates the amount of essays required

Bill took Astronomy because it looked and sounded cool but after he saw the graph paper on his table during the first lesson, he has been trying to drop it ever since

No one believes that him and Tom are related let alone twins, people just thought that their last names were a coincidence

Very personable so I think he would be quite popular amongst students but his dislike for too much authority doesn't make him too popular amongst professors teaching subjects he doesn't like

Professors teaching subjects he is passionate about however, LOVE HIM

always doing random extra studies just because he wanted to and for extra credit

The type to not study and fail for subjects he hates

But will still pass even if he didn't study when it comes to subjects he likes

Likes to watch Quidditch matches to support his friends but will rather die than get on a broom

Barely passed Flying in first year

Is that one friends that knows everything about everyone in Slytherin and surprisingly, Hufflepuff (why? even he's not sure)

Has gotten so many detentions because of going against dress code

He bedazzled his robe and tie with fabric pens, bleach and rhinestones and never changed them back no matter how many warnings he got

He got asked to the yule ball by a Beaubatoux boy and istg Bill laughed at first thinking it was a joke

When he realised the guy was fr he said he would think about it and get back to him

He literally put off thinking about it until Tom and Georg sat him down to talk about it so he could finally make a decision

Bill said yes to the date literally three days before the ball but mumbled it so fast and left so fast that Gustav had to repeat what Bill said to the boy

Tom Kaulitz

Tom would be a Gryffindor.

Do I need to elaborate?

okay I probably should

He is less outwardly warm compared to Bill but he is more reliable

Tom is a loyal mf especially when it comes to his friends

However, he is in Gryffindor because he is very much willing to take a leap of faith

He is impulsive when it comes to a lot of things especially when it comes to school life

Went to Quidditch tryouts during second year as a dare from Georg and Bill with neither expecting him to do well

Bitch came out of tryouts with a Quidditch uniform and an inflated ego

Plays chaser for Quidditch team, pretty good player and uses Quidditch practice as an excuse to put off every other subject

"Why isn't the essay finished? It was due three days ago"

"Quidditch practice..."

that convo happened on the last week of school and he fully thought the Professor would buy it

To say he sucks at Potions is an understatement

When he found out he could drop potions in 6th year he ran a lap around the Gryffindor common room

He goes to every house party and gets absolutely smashed

SO.MANY.RUMORS

He is surrounded by rumors, literally unless they are in his inner circle, no one really knows what is true or fake when it comes to Tom

People think he is some mean asshole that pushes people away from Bill but in reality he is just protective when it comes to who Bill mixes with since Bill is in Slytherin

Plays the student population's need to drama well so he is a traditionally popular type of guy

At some point he ends up ACTUALLY liking a girl and everyone doesn't recognise him, like he is stumbling over himself and begging to do projects for just a slight chance to do the project with her

Starts to show off more during Quidditch games like tries to do tricks

almost falls off his broom but he will deny it and swear to Merlin that he meant to slip off the broom

Georg Listing

he is a Ravenclaw you cannot change my mind

He isn't like the nerdy super studious type of Ravenclaw (but really is any Raven though?)

He is the seven cups of coffee in the morning, two hours of sleep a night and getting constantly distracted by small side topics when studying type of Ravenclaw

off topic but I think he would be a muggle born who just adjusted really quickly to wizard life??

He would be into Defence Against the Dark Arts and charms like the hands on subjects mixed with essays

He HATES herbology, he could never keep the plants alive no matter how hard he tried

No one thinks he studies like everyone writes him off as the guy who didn't study because he doesn't do homework but he does really well in tests

Horrible credit

Great grades

Georg doesn't really speak up in class unless necessary and I see him falling asleep during Astronomy class

Like when his voice dropped after puberty people didn't even realise it was him talking because he talked so little in class

OUTSIDE OF CLASS HOWEVER

he parties just as much as Tom but stays more sober just incase they come across Professors

Georg plays Beater for Ravenclaw after he was asked to go to tryouts

When Tom and Georg are on the field together it is a bloodbath, Georg targets Tom and only Tom

One of those lowkey popular students, think Cedric Diggory

always helping the guys study and convincing them to at least study a bit

He isn't a sought after guy as a tutor but will accept to help anyone if asked

Kinda scary looking and isn't as open as Bill nor as big a party animal as Tom so he isn't approached very often by younger students tbh kinda feared for no reason, Gustav makes fun of him about it a lot

When it comes to dating at Hogs he is very straightforward, think how Fred asked Angelina

Romantic enough for it to be endearing but not too much for it to be creepy to a random cute girl yk?

Is definitely a Quidditch player boyfriend if you get where I'm going like will make the girl wear his jersey at his game and would magically become a better player after getting into a r/s

Gustav Schafer

I know people will argue that he is a Hufflepuff but like bffr have you actually seen how he acts on Tokio Hotel TV??

Gustav would be a Gryffindor

He would be a Gryffindor in like a Dean Thomas kinda way

If Tom was Cormac, Gustav would be Dean

Becomes besties with the House Elves during first year because he got lost on the way to potions

Never went to Bill's dorm because he is scared shitless of the Black Lake and that damn squid

the muggle born that never got used to magic

Like he would be sorting out his trunk or cleaning his house and halfway through he remembers he went to fucking magic school for 7 years

BIG Quidditch fan

Paints his face and has merch like the whole nine yards

If Tom misses ONE shot during a game, he would not hear the end of it from Gustav for like a month

Refuses to use a quill

Will straight up in front of a Professor use a pen

He would not get an owl, Georg talks so much shit about it because they can't write to each other the 'aesthetic' way

Gustav just gives people his email/number

Naturally with that he isn't the best in DADA or Transfigurations but he would be good in Herbology and Arithmancy

Throws Tom under the bus SO OFTEN

That's why everyone thinks he is so sweet and innocent, he would push Tom into the way of a Professor on the way back to the common room from a party

Sends Howlers to his friends as pranks

He doesn't know he's popular but he is popular and gets so many confessions every day but just shrugs them off

Like the confession letter could be from the hottest girl in their year and he would go

"Awe that's sweet"

AND MOVE ON

He is a sweetheart so he will ask a close friend to the Ball if he isn't interested in anyone

Even if he isn't interested in a romantic way he will still make it very cute and sweet to make his date feel special

If he is asking a girl on a actual date he would bring her to HoneyDukes and insist to pay for all her sweets

That's his big move, the HoneyDukes date (It's his thing)

(anyways so this is the first post of miiiine kinda long ngl)

[an-obsessed-cactus]

I think i may be asexual?!

(okay this got longer than expected and i wanted to stop talking cuz ppl won't read it if it's so long and then i realized I'm not here to please anybody and i just wanna process some stuff so. yeah. also i come to realizations farther down that contradict some stuff from the beginning but I'll just leave my whole thought process here)

fun. um. I've realized I'm not straight two years ago and then started learning more about all things LGBT related and think myself educated enough on this topic but.

I've been pondering my sexuality and gender identity again more in recent days and. today i randomly stumbled across a yt video where the author (are you an author on yt? my brain is glitching rn)(also the 'author' in question is @jaidenanimationsofficial wonderful videos love the animation and the humor) talks about being aroace. few hours pass, my stomach hurts like hell so i go to lay down and sleep a bit, wake up and have a realization.

i googled again what asexuality is and read some more on this. i did this before and i guess i didn't see myself in it? so i kinda crossed it off the list of possible identities. i guess because i do want to have sex. i think. I'm not opposed to it and i get horny lmao. but that's only with fictional characters and works? like i just think: that was very sexy of you. but in a platonic way?! sex doesn't cross my mind. (also can you get aroused by music? or a good written work? or movie? like not even the characters but the work itself?) sorry i dunno I'm confused.

anyway i got a bit off track. what i wanted to say was that i suddenly remembered a convo i had with my sister a while ago where we talked about what is the difference between friendship and a romantic relationship. and she said it's that u wanna have sex with them and i was like ... i don't really think that's it...

and like. i get crushes i think. but I've never experienced this want to have sex with a particular person at least that i could remember. like a want to have sex? i guess yeah i mean not rlly sth i think about much but it's not unprecedented(see: i get horny)

honestly I'm not even sure anymore if im not aromantic as well. cuz queerplatonic sounds more like my jam?

like i felt(feel?) like omnisexual described me well because i think I'd be attracted to who the person is at their core. what if ur straight as a girl, date a boy, and then it turns out he's trans? i dunno i feel like gender isn't this fixed thing which then kinda creates problems when labeling urself with a certain sexuality. aaaa people came irl and i lost my train of thought. um. i feel like labeling myself anything other than omnisexual would feel limiting. even if i never developed a crush on a girl for example (i did), i still feel like i could potentially. like there's nothing stopping me. why shouldn't I?

OKAY SO

that was written yesterday. it is now today and i have a whole lot of new thoughts and realizations.

I had a bit of a marathon with @jaidenanimationsofficial videos and i came across an older one she mentioned in the previous one i watched about being aroace(ik it's a mess) about how she couldn't understand why when romantic feelings are not mutual people don't just continue being friends. and i was like EXACTLY WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?! and um. ahem. do u really see it as a problem? I guess if everyone does. but I'm starting to seriously consider if I'm aroace as well which woah there. this happened in a span of a day and I'm not sure it's real and it doesn't feel real? some time will have to pass for me to check out this theory cuz. ppl often say they felt like there was sth wrong with them and then they discovered these terms and were like aHA that's it! that explains everything! and I didn't... have that? and I'm not sure to what extent i identify with aroace because reasons(ill talk about some of it below). and I'm not saying that not having this realization moment or not feeling like sth is wrong with me through my life devalidates my orientation and stuff but it makes me doubt i guess?

i also came to an important discovery that aroused and horny are not the same. who would have thought?! I said above i get horny but apparently being horny means to want to have sex. and i just get the physical part aka arousal. fun. someone help pls im so confused.

okay for the last part(which prolly won't be the last part but one can hope right?)

i said i realized i wasn't straight two years ago. that was when i realized i like my best friend as more than i friend. well it wasn't exactly that simple. tbh i think Lucifer(the series i am NOT a satanist) helped a lot with that? like i knew about some lgbt stuff before because I'm alive on this planet but it kinda made me think about a lot of stuff, and between that stuff was my sexuality as well. idk. it's not like i had a crush on any of the female characters. just got me thinking for some reason. like why is having sex with people you're not romantically involved with wrong? why is prostitution wrong if u enjoy it and get money for it and it's well managed and secure? but that's beside the point.

well anyway I didn't know what i felt towards my bff(I'll say bff cuz bf also stands for boyfriend so it feels weird) but it felt like more than friendship. didn't feel like sth romantic tho. then i discovered queerplatonic relationships exist and i was like i think that's it! and then new school year came i saw her again and doubts flared up. again there was never i wanna have sex with her, but there was an occasional i wanna kiss her. and she was so important to me so it has to be romantic love right?! romance is the highest form of love one can experience afterall! nothing whatsoever can compare to it!! it feels ✨magical✨ when you find you will finally be completed!!! anyways.

it felt like romantic love was the only thing that could justify me feeling this way. i won't go deeper into this because i already have a draft where i do(i have like 16 drafts with uncompleted rambles so...) I'll try to post it but. i told her and we're still good friends! it actually made me closer to the rest of my friend group(which i was only a part of on the paper before)(i was so focused on my bff before I didn't really do group) because i felt a bit distanced from her for a while(she's a people pleaser like me and even tho i think i can read her well im paranoid and i thought she may feel weird?). anyways i got close with 3 other amazing ppl in the meantime and my friendship with my bff hasn't suffered!

but between my feelings being kinda realized and me telling her a whole year has passed and in the end i wasn't even sure what i was feeling anymore just that i didn't want her not to know. idk.

now im wondering what it was. even back then half year pre confession i was thinking if it was just because someone was finally paying attention to me. i didn't really do friends before (i kinda had them but there were no deep convos or shared secrets) and then there was suddenly this person who genuinely enjoys spending time with me! and listens to my problems! and weird obsessions! this sounds kinda sad put like this ngl lmao. but this was the first time I had that deep connection with someone. two years in my confused feelings came. geez i got off track again. point is i thought i was straight up until then and then had a crisis cuz i thought i only liked her cuz she was giving me attention cuz i was straight goddamit! ANYWAYS.

this post has lost all direction. it is a frustrated ramble of a very confused person. let us continue

i will just sum up how i feel about genders and people because I'm a chronic oversharer. oops doops.

men: find them aesthetically pleasing, all celebrity crushes are in this category (there's only one really but if i found a celebrity attractive like not objectively but to me it was a man), i would also get kinda crushes on boys my age when i spent 5 minutes with them. don't ask. i think it's dopamine mining(i suspect i have adhd). im not used to male company and i kinda don't like it that much but the the ?butterflies? are still there. tbh i don't really know what to do with men. doesn't stop me from having crushes tho. i don't have any real desire to be in a romantic relationship with men. i don't exclude the possibility but i haven't found one i would want it with. i also don't know now to interact with them. let alone flirt. actually flirt in general. it feels like it would be cringe and belongs in bad movies.

women: freaking amazing!! love them! no celebrity crushes, one irl crush which might have moved beyond crush(i suspected the L word for a while) to friends or it might have never been a crush in the first place! help! now there's another friend outside of my friend group who i may like. or i just enjoy her company? im not used to this yet. i forgot i think im aroace. this is killing me.

nonbinary/other genders: I haven't met any yet. there are some on discord servers im a part of but I don't really interact much just lurk there. i think irl experience would be different anyway.

someone please explain sth to me. you have sexual attraction okay get that(not really but that's not the point). but then there's romantic attraction. how do you separate that from friendship? just this intense feelings of wanting to be with them at all times? okay myb myb let's say u can separate them from friendship. what about queerplatonic? guys??

i am starting to dislike labels. this is confusing.

also i gotta figure this romantic thing out cuz im writing a fantasy series and there's romance involved lol.

okay so i guess i am at least asexual cuz i don't see ppl and go 'i wanna have sex with them'. i am not yet thoroughly convinced im aromantic as well but we'll see about that ig. because i still don't understand what the difference between romance and deep friendship is. aghhh

although if i can't tell the difference myb that answers the question.

also how does someone who is asexual but romantically attracted to all genders label themselves? like omnisexual ig doesn't work cuz it omnisexual.

i went to google aromantic and.

"demiromantic people have romantic attraction only after forming an emotional bond with another person."

HOW ELSE DO YOU HAVE ROMANTIC ATTRACTION??? Isn't this about who the person is?! Do you just see them and go: oh this must be such a good person. what?

like i understand sexual attraction when you see someone ig. but romantic? i really need someone to explain this to me in depth. i haven't even been asking the right questions.

"Quoiromantic people can't tell the difference between romantic and platonic attractions." Welp i guess i have a new label i can stick on myself. also the name is killing me. (quoi=what in french💀)

(edit: well this thing just posted itself. I DIDN'T HIT POST WTF. but it's out there now. ig it had enough of me adding new and new thoughts. im inclined to agree)

[artificer-doesnt-belong-here]

where is artificer? I have no idea!

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-> REQUESTS -> OPEN

------------

-> ask me to add her in places that she clearly doesn't belong into!

-> do not ask me to put her in an area in Rain World, even if she doesn't belong in a specific area there, she originates from there so it feels weird doing it

-> general asks are fine, since it'd help me do this blog better

-> fandom places, irl places, you name it are allowed to be requested. however I would ask for you to send the ask as " snowdin from undertale " for example

-> I have the right to decline requests

-> same place is fine to be asked multiple times, I don't keep track

————————————————

this is a general thing but please do not ask for ship related asks. I am perfectly fine adding another blogs character into an image as requested but not to be taken as a ship

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•-> blog is run by @wingsof--gabriel

-> pfp is by @bright--paws

-> based off I convo I had with the owner of the rivulet blog. I made this as a little funny thing and can’t believe how many posts its getting already

————————————————

partner blogs

-> @rivulet-shouldnt-be-here

-> @saint-get-outta-there

-> @why-is-spears-here

-> @monk-shouldnt-be-here

-> @why-is-inv-here

-> @nightcat-plush-why-you-overthere

-> @where-did-gourmand-go

-> @pebble-plush-in-places

• I follow every rain world doesn’t belong here blog. so expect a follow from my main account if I’m acknowledging you

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tags!

#artificer doesn't belong here • main tag I use, used whenever putting her into places she doesn’t belong in

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-> can I make a blog like this one? [with another rain world character] of course! unfortunately we will run out of canon characters unless you want to make one based off an oc which I definitely allow. no doubles of any existing account. please be sure to make me aware, because I link all rain world blogs based off this one

-> any discord? not at the moment, it might happen eventually that we will have a discord server dedicated to the blogs. unsure but depending on what the other blog owners say and if they have discord themselves

-> any limits to fandoms/asks? I am rarely uncomfortable by a fandom, so no there isn’t a limit to what fandoms you can request. you can send as many asks as you want, especially if you have an idea! It won’t bother me

-> thoughts about horror places? it's fine to request these, I will simply put a warning that it's horror in the tags. sometimes I don't realize when something is horror so please let me know

[v-anrouge]

ok!! aster ur rlly private thats y its a bit harder 2 get a read on u wit just online personas alone but bc of that i dunno if u know or even notice but ur some kind of idol or icon that a lot of ppl recognize u for. some ppl look at u for support or even maybe encouragement sometimes forgettinf the fact that ur not just some sort of model or super strong guy who can handle anything. you do have ur own insecurities and are struggling just as much as everyone.

just a guess, but maybe thats why u said u were a "jupiter kinnie" reblogging saturn's post bc it was about being put to the sidelines and watching everyone else shine but you. i was abit confused but i think i peiced it 2gether now. maybe, in relation to ur community here in tumblr, you feel a little left out. maybe its because ppl see your persona as strong and so so so confident that they think that you can never be 'left out' because you are THE star, you know? ironic to your posts about feeling like a stranger that your moots barely talk to, most moots i know actually get excited on the occasional times youre active. There r some who even get genuinely upset or overthink when u dont talk to them bc u dont initiate convo and they usually expect you to keep the connection instead bc they wouldnt wanna feel annoying or a bother to you. (which is not ur fault btw because you are a human being with his own time and his own life and know that you are not a mind reader so ppl shouldnt expect u to cater to their worries just bc ur idolized as this super confident encouraging persona and get less considered as an actual person who doesnt know everything n can also have their own moments)

Basically ppl admire you like an idol and find u so unreachable meanwhile u feel a lonely bc it feels like everyone is so great but you. Aster, youre the best guy ever and everyone likes you a lot. mayb this could also answer ur question on why some ppl r a little nervous wit giving u thoughts n asks. I could be wrong bc i dont rlly know you irl but this is just an outsiders deduction

Reminder that this is just what ive observed from tumblr and moot interactions as well as posts and also im eepy and i hope u have a good day today (its morning in brazil right?) im wishing you best of luck in ur day

(u can delete if this is too uncomfy for u or mayb jus want to only read it 4 yourself)

(i could also be super wrong in judgement since i dont know everything but :333 i did mt best)

oh my god ii donf even know what to say to this to be honest i mxomowlfley dumbfounded like i thought I was a mysterious guy.mp3 but i feel so read like this is what's actually happening do ppl genuinely see me as an idol o don't even know how to process this oh my god????

[bedtimestoriesforbrokengirls]

I tried to get my mother to watch the first half of TRW Homecoming, the funniest part is this woman used to watch marathons of TRW with me when I was in middle and high school (I'm in my late 20s) and apparently missed all of the points, and didn't go well...she didn't even last a full minute into it when that convo.....super fun.

I also just finished the last few episodes a couple of hours ago and Norm and the LGBT+ issues they bring up too, especially bi-erasure which are super personal for me....I ended up sobbing....I didn't really keep up with it after 2013 but TRW (not road rules or challenges, actual RW) was one of the only good things left on mtv in the 00s and it was the ONLY good thing they had left after TRL was cancelled and MUSICtv -officially- died and it was always just so impactful and raw and it's as necessary now as it ever has been and yeah...sorry to just gush about it but no one IRL for me understands why I keep suggesting the homecoming or how it could be anything other than "tYpiCaL mTv dRAmAAaAaaA" so it was cool to see someone reflect on it...okay, sorry again for my novel, hope you have a wonderful mornin/afternoon/evenin/day...

  (This reply is, like, a few years late. It's been sitting in my drafts. At this point, even TRW Homecoming: New Orleans is a distant memory. Sheesh.)

Your mom disappoints me. How she raised someone sweet and thoughtful, I have no idea.

Honestly, I should have seen this shit coming. The Boomers did the same fucking thing... they were progressive as hell in their youth, and then did a hard 180 back into the I-got-mine-motherfuckerism that birthed them. My generation, meanwhile, was never particularly awake politically —we were too busy playing video games and disrupting things that bored us— but I never figured so many of us would suddenly shrug and join our parents in their pseudo-religious, authoritarian circle-jerk. I sincerely thought better of us.

Here —as in many things— I point to Bill Clinton, and my generation’s stupid contemporaneous defense of him. We all —self included— excused the fact that he’s a weak, sleazy, brilliant, charismatic piece of shit, and in so doing, inadvertently lowered the bar for the dignity of the Oval Office. He lied and smirked and left a young woman to drown in public, and we all felt like we were in on a clever “fuck you” to the petty moralists of the world. Why wouldn’t a generation like mine look at a lizard-brained, orange troll and say, ‘I wonder what would happen if we gave him a rhetorical flamethrower?” I sincerely thought we were liberating humanity by connecting everything together, but we were really just building a massively complicated framework for screaming “FUCK YOU” into the void.

Anyway, back to Becky...

I doubt it would work, but I’d like to sit her down and try to explain how simple all of this could be for her. It’s like, Rebecca, I know it seems like there are lots of scary new things you’re being asked to learn, and that you’re uncomfortable with a future where you’re expected to acknowledge the flaws people find in the things you love, but you know what would really help? Shutting the fuck up. You can pretend to listen while some half-baked, shitty song floats through your head, and just nod appreciatively when appropriate. You're old and white and comfortable, so you can just fucking coast the rest of the way. No one needs your opinions, and if you don't voice them, we won't assume you're a jackass. Everyone wins! And how do I know this? Because I watched a movie about psychics, and now I can see the future. (You insufferable asshole.)

[myshredda]

I think someone already pointed it out, but Red does bring the “I like looking at you” thing pretty much out of nowhere lmaoooo

“I wouldn’t mind looking at the house again (which we know it’s not true) …and maybe looking at you” Red is trying to be casual so bad and failing dnfjfksk

And Duck catches on right there “Really? You like looking at me?” He sounds so surprised, so moved by this

“Yeah, I suppose I do” Red could back on it, but he doesn’t, he is admitting it full on

Maybe it’s because they are no longer under the influence of lesley, or the house.

For once they are not under the fear of a teacher jumping at them, they can just talk... and they chose to be kind, to open up, they are sincere. and that honesty is... so soft, "I like looking at you" is awkward and so sweet at the same time

You're so right! It's like completely out of left field, when I was first watching that scene I had ZERO expectations of anything remotely emotional or touching happening at all! and then BAM! Red hits the convo with 'I like looking at you' which is like. a crazy affectionate thing to say. I've known people irl for years that I wouldn't say that to because it's like borderline flirting to me. And he's doesn't take it back!!!!!!!!! Duck gives him an out with the 'really?' like Red could say he was joking and he really doubles down. and his little 'oh yeah? thanks' is so sweet and genuine like it drives me up the WALL

It's the kindest moment in literally either series because it feels so REAL it's so awkward and genuine and the only time they can kind and honest is when the power is out...

[yooniesim]

This is not my anon but this is exactly how I feel. I've made my own mistakes but that was never why they were in the convo. They saw how badly I was suffering and swiftly took the opportunity to kick me while I was down and that's just the truth. The quick pivot into easily transitioning the anti-blackness conversation into absolving themselves and all their friends from their mistakes & various acts of bigotry by discrediting my voice in a few decisive moves was legendary. The priority & focus of the conversation was no longer about the important issue and became an almost sadistic pursuit of my "downfall". It was fucking dirty and manipulative to the point where i almost have to admire it. And emphasized to me that empathy just isn't their strong point.

We all have bias including myself and that was clearly at play here. Some of the shit I saw said about me was simply not true or completely misrepresented and I was brushed off for pointing that out in the replies. And the fact that plenty of people believed it at face value with no proof whatsoever was acceptable to them and even people that saw what really went down with their own eyes but wanted to save their own reputation with these simblrs went along with it. They even chose to believe the word of a known racist over me because it fit their narrative. Once again the vague post + wave of hate from followers method was deployed, but this time I was already at my limit before it even began. I was degraded & talked over by several white people and essentially silenced and blamed for my own violent & bigoted harassment because i hurt people's feelings on simblr and was too "annoying". I was the subject of some pretty awful shit both here & IRL to the point where I was at one of the lowest points of my life and I was basically told to eat shit for asking for time and empathy. Even after apologizing and admitting what I had done wrong, they continued to pile on and beat the dead horse because the fact of the matter is they just want me gone and ostracized & have ever since I first slighted anyone in that friend group. Which solidifies to me that another one of my mistakes was to expect any of this on simblr to be based in actual ethics or a sense of morality.

For it to be about the racefaker & anti-blackness, I didn't see 1% of the anger and name-calling towards that being from them compared to what was thrown my way & it only exploded after I had apologized for that situation and that being was long gone from simblr and kicked from my server. And it was clearly because no one was angry enough at me for their liking. "We got a racefaker in the community yeah but oh no look, that negro uses kpop gifs and was too aggressive and bitchy towards us!" Shit. As much as my reaction to the situation was never about corpsetrait & all about my own feelings and situation I was going through, which was terribly wrong of me & I still apologize for, it was clearly a similar thought process with them. And many of the posts and actions I've seen have been purely performative when you consider the nonexistent (and even mocking) reaction to what happened to me compared to the people they liked. Whereas I've spent quite a bit of time defending & trying to see other people's perspectives when I simply should've never wasted my own time or mental energy. Trust i will never make that mistake again.

I took the opportunity to apologize further and delete the channel in my server because I've seen how it was a bad idea & how it negatively affected others and me as a person, and there's nothing like being at the bottom of the barrel to humble a dumb bitch like me. But y'all better not make the mistake of thinking you're better. I know exactly what kind of chats you got, as well as the anons & messages you send, and you ain't slick nor fooling anybody taking that moral high ground. Especially while saying some of the worst things about me out the other side of your mouth. The difference between us is that I can say I was wrong, and I've never seen y'all do that once this entire time. I'm going to work on myself, and I highly advise y'all to consider the same. And if you hate me, if I annoy you, you're just going to have to block me. Because I'm not going anywhere because of you. And if you got some vile bullshit to say, I'm blocking & ignoring you. Period.

[mxrpchronicle]

fan sessions are fun!!! in simplest terms is like a loosely plot based unholy mashup between script and paragraph styles

most in-character interactions will be over a group chat memo (script) while anything that happens "irl" will be paragraph, like land quest grinding, meeting other characters in-person, dreamself stuff, etc etc.

the actual plot tends to vary, but for the most part you need to be familiar with at least the very basics of how the sburb machines and lands work. no one really expects you to be an expert tho

however if u dont actually care abt sburb thats fine, its kind of the least interesting part of a fansession

theres a lot of opportunities for building relationships w/ other characters, torture ur own oc or just give them development in a way a slice of life chat wouldnt, and ofc give them cool aspect based god powers. imo the heart of any good fansession is the relationships yc builds with their teammates since thats what drew people to homestuck in the first place

buuuut the biggest drawback in a fansession is often its cooperative nature. ppl who dont know how to hold a convo, ppl who make really baffling rp decisions, and as always the ppl who are unable and unwilling to communicate ooc. id say like 80% of fansessioners are good seasoned rpers but u know how parp is sometimes lol

anywayy im going way too long lmao sorry but i recommend giving a session a shot some day if possible! (oh and lpt: if you join one and end up not feeling it dont be afraid to just drop the chat! its 1000x better than ghosting the chat and hoping the mods will kick you for inactivity. speaking as an occasional fansession mod myself ghosting is such a fuckin pain)

please please please keep infodumping about fan sessions in my ask box. you have no idea how much i enjoyed reading this.

while we're collecting fan session info, other than ghosting, what are some common mistakes that people make? things you wished they knew that they don't appear to?

[caphayzardous]

things r fine just debriefing a short convo into a huge poste

caved and asked one of my damage-informed (and also reasonable-inquiry) questions through text. you can't imagine how much I don't like to take serious topics into text format, hate Getting Weird Over Text, but a) this qn always feels so unimportant in-person, yet haunts me semi-regularly when I'm alone. had told myself several times I'd just get it out of the way IRL only to be like 'psh, nah'. and b) due to recent propensity for crying - and also non-recent perpetuity of crying at ANY serious moment - I felt that just this once text was safer than IRL for keeping things sensible.

it went fine (I say that now, we'll see if my lover is actually waiting to follow it up with an honourable in-person "Call It Off Because You Were Weird", but I don't THINK that's it). I somehow got an answer very very close to the Fear Outcome but in a way that I feel okay about?

Basically confirmed what I already know. this is all re: some near-arbitrary semantics of the relationship, basically that we are dating (sike did you all think I officially worked that out before valentines, like I said I would? I did not. but I did become more confident in that truth, before this recent upset. it is a relief to have this confirmed actually tho) BUT we are not 'partners'/in a serious relationship.

if that sounds weird to you. well yeah. this is what I mean by arbitrary semantics and nebulous areas. "we are lovers and we are friends and we've been going on dates for 6 months but it's not...?" anyway, however bizarre that sounds, it feels good to me and is about what I expected and wanted.

even though: its close to what I feared, too, separated only by the nature and details of the conversation. honestly I think it just makes a difference to me to hear "lover" "friend" "date" rather than cut-and-dry "friends with benefits" though try explaining the actual difference there?? it Feels different. to me at least lmfao, there may be less distinction to her, but by god she has the tact not to say so. I think it just affirms that my soft little feelings, are okay as they are. are not entirely misplaced, even though they wont go any further. I did not have illusions about her feelings but mine are still being looked after, yeah.

think also this whole thing just feels different to... you know... the past situation that recently re-haunts me (do you know that came to a crux about this time of year as well...? and with the impending end of things, I became so scared that it would all twist up the same way). probably the fact that things are being communicated at all makes a world of difference dont you think adchsbsj!!! like it may be late in the game to re-affirm these details, but it's happening at a decent and safer moment. in that past exp, the relationship exploded in a bad way and SIMULTANEOUSLY I found out that we were not even dating... according to them. so you can see why I might be hung up what counts as dating or not.

Im not asking for love, I just wanted to know Im not being made a complete fool of (again).

talking about this always feels like Im going to get y'all saying 'oh, bri...' because I Know how it reads still (yes I am a fool all round).

I will keep an eye on myself. In that same past exp I made the mistake of convincing myself I was ok with certain things like this, only to subsequently have really volatile and opposite feelings about it. sometimes I can tamp down distress with the cool detachment of logic but ofc that bitch comes back UP, you know? so I will keep an eye on myself here to see if I'm ACTUALLY still good with this situation as it stands, or if I'm just Trying to be good with it.

a lot of blog post to say: things are alright. my chest has been aching the last few days since it got into my head that there are parallels with the past. but it finally stopped hurting, and my heartrate finally settled, after speaking with them about it - I feel soft and safe again. so I think it's safe to say it's a good outcome. I feel I can separate it from the past again.

hope we can still stick the landing and get the 'good ending' when she leaves aus and we stay friends after hehe. I believe!! I believe!! I dont want this damage to take that ending from me!

might delete this'n its a mess but wanted to get it out thx if u read lmfao

[mypoisonedvine]

Sorry for this rant

I feel like I’m not normal as I don’t know how to talk to people as I was sheltered as a kid and wasn’t allowed to go to bday parties or play dates. So I never really learned as people started to ignore me probably think she won’t hang out like I invited her b4.

So now I’m actually don’t feel normal as I make scenarios in my head that I have a fake friend group doesn’t matter if it’s my own characters or from a tvshows/movie. Like rn I’m in a friend group with characters in stranger things. Like I do wish I could live a life where I can be happy and make friends like I do in my head.

Like everyone around me is making friends and I’m in the corner quiet and just in my scenarios. Like is this normal for others cuz I can’t really talk abt it to my friends cuz I do feel like they would judge and not understand y. Cuz I told my friend abt the bday/play date things and she told me it was stupid that I’m resenting that and saying it’s why I can’t talk to others.

And it’s just stupid cuz if I put my scenarios self and like the scenario me is more sarcastic and sassy. But when I am sarcastic in irl I don’t think ppl understand I am trying to be. Which is kinda mean but I like I do feel like this version of me would be happier cuz they seem really fun to be around. But I still don’t really know how to hold a convo as in my scenarios I’m always already in one so I didn’t need to worry and for making friends I just know the ppl b4. Like when I hang with my friend that helps gets the other me does come out but my friend is leaving so i feel like it’s gonna be gone

okay, so I just wanna start by saying that I'm sorry you feel so different from other people, and that your childhood was deprived of typical social experiences that you would've benefited from. I agree with you that that is too far to go in terms of 'sheltering' a child and that your parents set you up for more struggle socially than is necessary. I had friends growing up who weren't allowed to have or attend sleepovers, but they still could go to birthday parties!! I'm sorry that that happened to you.

in terms of the impact now, all I can say is, you're just as sane as I am. I'm not gonna say that it's normal or healthy to daydream semi-constantly, but it is something that I relate to a lot.

and I think a lot of people relate to your feeling that making friends is more difficult than we expected. it's normal to think all your friends have more friends than you because, statistically speaking, they always will. it doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong per se.

one piece of advice I can give is to definitely not lean into being sassy/sarcastic in real life. if there's one thing TV shows misrepresent about social interaction, it's how well people take sarcasm in real life. characters that are seen as funny, if a little stern or intense, on TV shows would be HATED in real life because their behavior can be dismissive and cruel. the softest example of this is chandler, from friends, who uses his friends' real problems to make stand-up-comic-type quips. and then you've got characters like house, dr. cox, jeff winger whose behavior no real person would tolerate even if they seem cool to us as the audience. I get the temptation, but definitely don't try to have a witty comeback for every situation... it can very much backfire.

that said, I understand wanting to have more social confidence and make friends more easily. I don't have one perfect piece of advice for that, but don't think you're the only person with this problem or that you're less valuable as a person just because you're not the most popular person. I hope you feel better and I'm sorry that your friend was dismissive about this, thank you for sharing this <3

[beautifulpersonpeach]

I have the biggest smile on my face reading your old ask reposts BPP, esp in light of the last two months haha. Pls keep them coming. It's truly amazing how on the nose you are about so many BTS things. I remember just before you took a short break from Tumblr, you were getting all these asks about how BTS talk about Armys too much to the point that it's fake and people were saying it's stupid to think BTS cares about Army enough to talk about them that often. Then what happened? 2022 Festa Dinner!! Where, again, BTS spent so much time talking about... ARMY. And Jimin was the ring leader constantly inserting ARMY into every conversation because as you said BPP, there is indeed a meaningful relationship, and nobody cares whether or not antis or casual stans can relate. Since June 14th the boys have not slowed down in how they talk about ARMY constantly.

But I do wonder, do you think that relationship between BTS and Armys will change during their solo era? The support for Jack in the Box seems to be holding up a bit even though it seems most of the fandom has clocked out.

**

So, I received this ask last week and drafted the first part of this reply before attending Hobipalooza. After seeing the response to Hobi's performance last night I have a slightly different opinion now which I'll add to the end of this post, after the line break.

*

Hi Anon,

Lol I don't even know what to say to the first part of your ask. Guess I've said everything I needed to say in those series of posts. And as you point out Anon, BTS did just talk more about ARMY in the days following those series of posts. Just like we said they would. Lol. Of course they did.

I'll add some of those 'when BTS talks about ARMY it annoys me' asks to the reposts I'm doing eventually. And to other anons who've sent in repost requests, I'm working my way down your list of requested reposts - each repost requires a little bit of editing because the coding syntax for Tumblr needs to be adjusted before reposting.

Onto the second part of your ask which I find very interesting. Sometimes, some of the convos and topics here coincide with things I'm discussing with friends irl and in other spaces, and this is one of those topics.

"Will the relationship between BTS and ARMYs change during BTS's solo era?"

I think the obvious answer is yes. In fact I'd say that relationship has already changed.

But we won't see the full implosion of the status quo in the fandom until the maknae line begin their solo debuts imo. Right now, the feeling for Hob's release is for everyone to fully support him, but of course, that's not actually happening. Hobi is one of those central members that doesn't really pose a threat to anyone. He's like the Switzerland in Bangtan - a neutral sounding board that everyone wants to be on good terms with. So, if there was one member that could garner the most even support from all factions of the fandom, it would be Hobi and perhaps this is something that has contributed to how well his record has performed though most of the music on that record is distorted Boom Bap (which isn't exactly a popular genre...)

But like I said, not everyone is supporting him now and this is expected. The reasons why:

Despite all the 'discourse' on the topic of people being forced to do this or that, the reality is that most people in the fandom end up buying/doing what they personally want. And by that I mean, the choice of what to support is left entirely to people within the fandom. And since not everyone is inclined to support Hobi's kind of music atm, not everyone has.

I don't have the data to back this up, but I think there's a higher proportion of casual fans in ARMY fandom spaces now than before, and these are just not the sort of fans to concertedly support the group or members they don't bias. It is what it is.

The fandom (and company) has been inconsistent in how it supports solo works in the past, and this has created confusion as well as grievances.

The rollout itself was a bit unusual with HYBE/J-Hope excluding physical CDs from the physicals release, which discouraged some people from buying the record.

BTS themselves recognize that their solo careers will impact the relationship they've developed with ARMY. I mean, we heard Jimin basically acknowledge that during the Festa dinner and RM worry out loud in his Vlive some weeks later. Like I said though, we won't see the full repercussions of all of this until the maknae line begin their solo debuts imo. I suspect it'll be a rude awakening for some.

The next solo releases expected this year are RM's, Jungkook's, and Tae's - unit releases ofc include the Vocal Line with Snoop Dogg and Benny Blanco in early August. On some forums there's talk Jimin could release something this Fall as well, and Jin possibly just before December. Yoongi has enough unreleased music to release 2 albums tonight so he's the wild card.

The fandom in general is woefully unprepared to deal with BTS's solo era and there are several 'schools of thought' around what is most likely to happen. I subscribe to the idea that rather than try to force equal fandom participation for solo acts, the fandom should let chips fall where they may. I think that's the more healthy approach though of course the core of the fandom has not changed its approach to how it supports the guys, even now, so I think that will continue to be the case.

*

ARMYs turned out in full force to support Hobi and I'm still in shock by how many turned up here.

I still think we'll see more variable participation from the rest of the fandom for the other members, but I do think Hobipalooza has definitely helped calibrate expectations for the rest of the group.