#I wish I had pictures from either party but I didn't take my phone out at all.. I just had a really good time with people haha

[wellitsjustmeagain]

Look. The first week back to work was fucking trash. I worked late several nights, all day on my day off, and cried somewhere in the middle at least twice because it felt like nothing would ever change... But then we had an office holiday party, and there was a Muppet themed murder mystery party, and then today I went on a big selfie scavenger hunt to find things for a challenge my grandma does every December.

And I'm so thankful for the amount of fun I've genuinely had the last few days that's made all the chaos brighter and a little more manageable. And it's a nice reminder to just go explore and be a wild child more often 💕

[jezabelle9299]

Make-up Birthday S.R x FEM! Reader

Overture: Spencer didn't just miss your birthday he forgot it. (Happy Ending)

C-Ws: Missed occasions, pushing down feelings for the benefit of another person, Spencer chose Gideon over you

A/N- Baby's first angst, go easy on me. And I've been in a sour mood so I have 2 other angst fics (also birthday themed), that will probably be posted sometime this week. Our regularly scheduled sap will return next week.

You weren’t a very big birthday person. Of course when you were young you had birthday parties with all of your little friends, but as time went on, things got busy. It was pushed to the side for years, until you preferred to just ignore it. Until a few weeks ago, when Spencer asked what you’d like to do to celebrate. You told him nothing was necessary, but he insisted that the two of you at least spend the day together. You let yourself get excited, you made good plans, just takeout and movie night, but that was enough. If it were anyone else you’d remind him, several times, but you knew he wouldn’t forget. He didn’t forget anything.

This morning you woke up to an empty bed, and you knew Spencer had gone to work. He had a few meetings he mentioned having to go to about their latest cases, but you weren't expecting him until this evening. The day passed you by when you got set up, but time slowed down when there was nothing to do but wait. Each second passed a little slower than the last, until you got worried. You haven't heard from Spencer all day. 

You: Hey Spence, everything ok?

Spence: I’m ok, just got caught up at work. I’ll come to your place as soon as I can. 

You: Ok, see you then

You were glad he was ok, and you knew he’d rather be with you, than at work. Something important must’ve come up, he wouldn’t miss this over nothing. But time passed with no more texts, until you resigned yourself to him just not coming. You changed from your date outfit into some comfy pajamas, and laid down in bed. You weren’t upset with Spencer, this job was important to him, and you knew he felt like he had something to prove just being there. You could celebrate another day.

It wasn't until well after nine when Gideon asked Spencer what he was still doing here, he’d mentioned weeks ago that he’d need to leave early. That’s when Spencer realized what he was missing. It wasn’t just movie night, by now he’d missed almost your entire birthday, after he’d pressed you to celebrate it at all. He rushed out as quickly as possible, but by the time he got to your place it was too late. He knocked on the door and as soon as you answered, all the apologies came pouring out. He couldn’t make himself stop until you put your hands on either side of his face making him look you in the eyes. 

“It’s ok Spence, I know how important your job is, and we can celebrate another day.”  

He leaned down to hug you, burying his face in your neck. “I’m so sorry honey, it totally slipped my mind. But I promise to make it up to you.” You pulled away from him at that. 

“Wait, what do you mean?” He just looked at you, like he was replaying what he said to figure out what he did wrong. 

“You–you forgot?” 

“I thought you knew.”

“No, I didn’t. I had this picture in my mind, like when you leave for cases, when you tell me how you wish you could be here.”

“I do wish I was here, baby. You mean the world to me.” You couldn’t keep doing this, his reassurance was breaking you down bit by bit. Sure now he wished he was there, but he didn’t even realize you were missing him. 

“I’m gonna go for a drive I think, we don’t have to celebrate another day, it’s fine.” 

“No please stay– please let me make this up to you.” His phone rang. A shrill tone cutting through, nearly making you wince.

“It’s Gideon, I have to take this. But please stay with me, I want to talk about this. It’ll only take a minute.” 

“It’s fine, I’ll talk to you tomorrow Spence, just remember to lock up when you leave ok?” You picked up your shoes and keys before you walked out, still in your pajamas. You gave him not even half of a smile, and it was breaking his heart. But he couldn’t ignore the call.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

Gideon was like a father to him, and even though he winced when the door shut behind you, quietly, as if you weren’t even upset, he still answered. There wasn’t even a case, Gideon just had a question about some evidence. Nothing would’ve happened if he didn’t answer, no one was dying, and the only one hurt was you. He couldn’t have just ignored the call, and now you were gone. 

Spencer didn’t forget anything, but somehow he forgot this. 

You weren't sure where you’d go. You decided to allow yourself one evening to be upset. To acknowledge that this whole situation sucks and honestly today your usually wonderful boyfriend kind of sucks too. You’ll feel guilty about it tomorrow, but tonight you're going to drive an hour and a half down the highway, just to turn back around so you could avoid the drunk drivers on the road when the bars close. Spencer should be gone by then, you’re sure Gideon was calling to steal your boyfriend away on a case again and you’d call him in the morning to make sure he got there ok and tell him to be safe like you always did. 

What Spencer did was important, and you couldn’t be mad at him for missing something as silly as a birthday for a work problem. But he wasn’t out saving lives like you thought. It may be selfish or overly-presumptuous about your standing in his life, but when you missed him it made you feel better to think he was missing you just as much. How he was at work thinking about how he loved you. And today was the day that illusion shattered.

You could only sob at the thought. 

By the time you got home, it was almost 1am. The redness in your eyes finally started to subside, you got too dehydrated to continue actually crying almost an hour ago, so that’s when you decided that the time for being upset over this was done. Even the puffiness in your face was going down. But when you unlocked the door, Spencer was waiting for you. 

“You’re home.” 

“You’re here. I thought you had a case.” 

“No, Gideon just had a question about some evidence, I wanted to be here when you got back.” 

“That’s sweet of you Spencer, but I just went for a quick drive. I’m kind of tired, so I think I’m just going to head to bed now, ok? But I’ll see you in the morning.” You gave him a resigned kiss on the forehead and his heart broke. He did this. And you called him Spencer, not ‘Spence’, not ‘honey’, not ‘babe’. Spencer. It never sounded so awful. 

He did all he could do, he slept on the couch and let you rest. You would be talking about this in the morning. You couldn’t shut him out forever, he loved you too much.  

The beeping of the coffee machine woke him up, his legs half hanging off your couch. He immediately got up. If the coffee machine was going off, you were awake, and you could talk about last night. 

“Honey?”

“Hi, I didn’t realize you’d stayed here last night, were you too tired to drive?”

“No, but I wanted to be here when you woke up.”

“You could've slept in my bed with me.” You were glad he didn’t. But you wanted to maintain your facade, you wanted to forgive him, and forget about everything.

“You’re upset with me, I wanted to talk to you.”

“I’m not upset.”

“You’re the love of my life and I hurt you. You don’t have to pretend to be ok with it.”

“It was one day, Spencer. It’s fine, you don’t have to sleep on the couch as penance.” You were putting on your coolest presence, but everything you said still came out as more of a mumble than it would’ve. 

“I need you to listen to me, you are the most important person in my life. I love you so much it hurts, and I can’t stand the thought of you thinking I forgot about you.” That broke your barely held together exterior of confidence.

“Why are you doing this?”

“Because I need you to know that I love you, I can’t just let this go.”

“Ok fine. You made me celebrate my birthday and when you forgot anyway, it hurt my feelings. But I don’t want a makeup birthday, and I wish I could just forget about it, and I don’t understand why you want me to be mad at you.”

“I don’t want you to be mad, but when you are mad, I need you to tell me. I can’t do anything to help if I don’t know what’s going on.”

“But I don’t want you to know when I’m upset. I want to be the cool girlfriend that doesn’t get upset when her boyfriend does something by accident. You are the best boyfriend I’ve ever had and when you make one mistake about something I wouldn’t have even cared about a month ago, I can’t get over it. But I really want to get over it, so could we please just forget about it?” By this point tears were flowing down your face, but you were still wiping your face every few seconds to stop them in their tracks.

“No we can’t just forget, I think you’re the coolest girl I’ve ever met, and it’s not because you ignore your feelings whenever you think they’d be inconvenient. I want to spend the day with you if you’d be ok with it, but if you want some time alone that’s ok too.”

“I want to spend the day with you. But could we leave out the birthday theme?”

“Sure honey, whatever you want, I’m all yours.”

“You know I love you Spence, right?”

“I know, I love you too.” It was an upsetting morning, but he was still overjoyed that you called him ‘Spence’ again. He’d earned his pet name back.

“Do you really think I’m cool?” It was barely spoken into his chest, moreso whined, muffled by the fabric of his sweater vest. At this moment, you were so uncool. Yet he still kissed your forehead as he laughed. 

“The coolest.”

[utilitycaster]

How can Molly's death be considered a major mistake? It's the crux of the entire campaign.

so I think about this a lot, because you're right, and it really comes down to like...a lot of factors in how people interact with fiction, and some stuff I feel about fandom.

The short answer is that Molly is some people's favorite character, and they really wanted to watch him for 141 episodes and not just 26, and they didn't get to, and so it's valid to feel sad about that. But I think what personally grinds my gears is the idea that it's a mistake and because this is a Fan Favorite character he SHOULD have come back. Setting aside the fact that he had both his fans and his detractors from the start and a lot of people (myself included) who found him irritating didn't say much for a good chunk of C2 because, well, he was dead, this isn't a fucking competitive reality show. You don't get to vote on your phones to decide who wins a resurrection.

I think the longer answer is that there is a certain type of person in fandom, born of a certain type of person in social media communities, who just...is not willing or interested in considering not just that their experiences, preferences, and philosophy are not universal, but also that they are not objectively best and correct and that everyone who disagrees is wrong. It's often really common in, though not exclusive to, people who have particularly limited experiences - young (like, teenager/early 20s), people who haven't lived in a diverse area or in multiple different areas, people who for whatever reason do not get out much - which both makes sense (haven't been exposed to a ton of different perspectives irl) but also means that you get people who, for all they may talk about global politics, kind of unconsciously seem to act as though everyone they interact with online is a variant of someone from the same 3000 person town in the United States in which they've spent all 21 years of their life. ANYWAY getting back to the main point I feel like Molly attracted a lot of that kind of person, who just...doesn't get that while Molly is, to them, a deeply validating expression of gender identity, for many people he is "guy you meet at your friend's birthday party in a two-bedroom 6 floor walk up and within 5 seconds he has pissed you off so profoundly with his overfamiliarity that you go into the kitchen and mainline as much vanilla vodka as possible to not stab this guy with a secondhand knife that says "CHEESE!" on it even though you hate vanilla vodka and it's summer in NYC and you're on the 6th floor in a small apartment with too many people so it's approximately 117 degrees Fahrenheit in this kitchen and the vodka isn't much cooler, and you succeed in this goal, and then after sending your friend who couldn't make it because they were at a family thing that weekend a picture of a rat on the tracks of the 3 train with a caption "this u?" at 1:54 in the morning you're like "so this guy Molly was there" and they're like "oh my god I met him at Cameron's last party, he SUCKS" and you're like "I KNOW". Like a lot of people just do not get that Molly was very popular with their circle, and also a lot of people either were neutral-to-not-feeling-it. This is before we get into the post-death idealization of who he was that takes him from "irritating but I think he'd have grown on me in some ways eventually had he lived" to "horrible and insufferable fake-ass bitch."

And then we get to the true impasse: the idea that something that does not fulfill every single one of your personal wishes might still be a great story.

I'm certainly not perfect, and there's things I thought I wanted for the end of C2 that I didn't get, and there's some things I do wish we'd have gotten to see (or that we'd have done in C3), but I like to think that I try to remain at least partially open to the possibilities. I like to think that my enjoyment of a story isn't contingent on whether one single character survives, even if they are my favorite (and I say this as someone whose favorite ASOIAF character was immediately Ned Stark, a statement that should surprise no one who follows me) nor that the story precisely reaffirms my existing worldview. I want stories to tell me something new and interesting that wouldn't come from my own head, and I want them to sell me on it. I think that a lot of people lost the thread of the importance of representation, namely, they forgot that while it's great to see people like you in a story, you should also be trying to see people not like you and perspectives that aren't yours. I am extremely defensive of my and other people's right to say "I didn't like this story and here is why" without someone being like "Give it a chance! Here's why I think it's good" but at the same time, there is a difference between "I really wish Molly had stayed alive and I don't like that he died," and "everything that happened after he died was A Mistake because it wasn't what I Wanted, and someone should fix this." Like that's what toddlers do. That's not an adult way of interacting with narrative.

So those people don't even get to the point of "the entire campaign is deeply influenced by the loss of Molly; that is what binds the rest of the Nein together and makes them what they are; the fact that Lucien wears the face of a departed friend is crucial to the entire final arc comprising about 20% of the campaign; and the fact that he does not come back, but someone new, with new chances and new choices to make does is emblematic of a campaign about people who find that they cannot undo their pasts, but neither are they trapped or damned by them." They're stuck at "guy I liked died and I'm throwing a tantrum 6 years later."

[godisshook]

there was this total average looking guy in my freshman orientation group, but now it’s finals in spring term and he’s somehow bigger than even the seniors on campus? I started hearing some people saying he’s now a total alpha, but he just asked/told me to come to this end of year party he’ll be at!

You were nervous about freshman year in college, being away from family, and having to go at it alone would be a big change of pace, but you were up for the challenge. A sense of nervousness overcame you as you became more and more aware, but you were brought back to reality as the orientation leader in the front said, “You all will now be placed in groups, check the number on the back of your name tag for your group number!” When you turn the tag around, you see a number 9, and walk over to the advisor waving a sign with the same number. You were placed in a group with nine others, who all looked either confused as to everything, or wanting to leave already. Then along came Leo.

He was unassuming and barely talked throughout orientation, but you initiated a conversation with him, hoping to make at least a new friend before the year started. He smiled at you the whole time, clearly appreciating that someone walked up to him. Orientation seemed to pass by much faster, and you two talked throughout.

Before orientation ended, he put his number in your phone, telling you to keep in touch, and you obliged. As the semester began, the stress of school made it hard to keep your promise, and you two started talking less and less.

As the semester came to a close, you started preparing to go back home for spring break. You wished your friends goodbye for the semester, but the thought of Leo still lingered on your mind. Those thoughts began to subside as you pack your last bag into your car. Not wanting to stop talking to him completely, you texted Leo occasionally, checking on him from time to time, but he seemed to always be busy.

Spring break was coming to a close, and as you prepared to return, you were excited for a new semester and the experiences it would hold. One of your friends walks up to you and urgently says, "OMG, look at this."

The guy was hot, but ultimately he didn't look too familiar. Your friend smiles at your confusion, and finally reveals, "It's Leo." You could only stand there stunned. While Leo definitely wasn't scrawny, he wasn't the biggest guy in the freshman class, but now he was bigger than most seniors! As if they knew what you were thinking, your friend says, "I know, everyone was surprised too, he walked on campus and his shirt would barely fit!" You hoped to see him just once, and you spent the whole day looking through his Instagram, seeing as his body began changing, becoming bigger and bigger. After you got hard in Biology class, you decided that your exploration through his feed would have to be put on pause until you were in a more decent area.

When you finally got home, you could only think about him. He was always cute to you, but he was now among the hottest guys on campus. you could only think one thing, "Were those springtime chats enough?" You thought you had missed your shot, had you just talked to him more, had you reached out more, maybe, just maybe...

Breaking you away from your spiral was a notification. Your phone pinged, and it was a new snap from Leo.

As you opened the photos, your jaw dropped. The photos were as close to explicit as he could get, and you stayed on each picture, absorbing his form. Your eyes wandered down each photo, taking in each element of it, including his not-so-hidden bulge. Before you could even respond to what was maybe the hottest thing you've ever seen, Leo starts typing. "There's gonna be this end-of-year party at the lake this Saturday." Looking at the text, you try to formulate a response, was it an invitation, if it was, why didn't he tell you to be there?

Leo says, "I want you to come with me." There was the ticket, the reply you needed. You wouldn't dream of saying no, so you agreed. "Good, and just know that you would be coming as my boyfriend." You pinched yourself, certain you were simply having the best dream of your life. No pinch could remove that text from your gaze, and you replied, "I wouldn't have it any other way." Each day felt like years as anticipation for the party was building. Classes felt like simple distractions against what could happen on Saturday. Your imagination soon went wild, and With Saturday finally here, you got into your best pool fit, and waited for him to pick you up.

The two of you would catch up in the car, with you thinking that he didn't like you, and him reassuring you that he was truly just busy, and you could clearly see the results. He would stop his car on a back road near the lake and would lead you towards the party. Your friend was already there, and you went with them, splitting from Leo. Things went well as you mingled with the other party goers, and reveled in the time-out. After a while, you began looking for Leo, wanting to at least get a dance in with him. It didn't take long to find him, as he seemed to be searching for you as well. With you two back together, he asked, "Do you wanna go to the other side?" As you were pondering the question, you noticed the boats on the lake, and one, with his friends on it, looking over at you. When you eye them, they look away, clearly caught in the act. Thinking a little fun couldn't hurt, you obliged, waved bye to your friend (who was actively kissing someone), and got on the boat.

The boat sped on the water, with you getting splashed occasionally, as the driver began doing tricks in the water to impress his friends. Soon it was explained that one of Leo's friends owns all the properties near the lake, and just rents out some of them. You couldn't imagine any place better to party, and you continued to enjoy the ride, as Leo began flexing in the back, you laughed and said, "I didn't know I was at a gun show." He replied, "Just for you, of course."

As you all approached the other side of the island, one of Leo's friends slides him a key, and Leo leads you off the boat, following behind you. With you two firmly on the land, the driver yells "Have fun!!!" and sped away, leaving you dumbfounded.

As you got to the other side of the lake, Leo thought it was necessary to continue "The gun show." You didn't mind it at all, whistling and clapping after each flex. As you took in his massive form, he would ask, "Are you gonna come to the show and not try it out?" You closed the distance between you two and started feeling up his body. He looked down at you, his gaze intensifying the moment. You began to truly grasp the situation, as desire flared in his eyes.

It was just you and him, and you appreciated this moment of intimacy. He planted a kiss on your cheek, and you blushed. With you two now being so close, you felt the tension rising between you two. You wanted more than a kiss, and you glanced back at the cabin behind you. Looking at him with sultry eyes, you asked, "How about we take this inside?"

Sharing your sense of urgency, he rushed over to the bathroom to change out of his trunks, and each moment felt like hours. As he came out of the bathroom, you couldn't wait for another second, you pulled him close and began kissing him, with him returning the favor with a fiery passion, taking your body fully into his as he held on to your head, supporting the weight of each intense kiss he shared. You two only split to catch your breaths, and a flurry of tongues and lips moved with what seemed to be desperate urgency.

Knowing you wanted him at the moment, he laid down on the floor, saying, "It'd take too long to get to the bed." You laughed and got to work. First, you planted light kisses on his muscular body, his breath hitching with each kiss. Each hand sought to only make the experience more pleasurable for him, with you feeling him up and down as kisses created a path. Your kisses trailed all the way down to his shorts, where you noticed his cock bulging in his shorts, as if it was waiting for you as well. With his dick pressed against his underwear, you knew it was time, and slowly pulled down his shorts.

He groaned in pleasure as you began sucking him off. His massive cock wouldn't fit in your throat completely, but you managed regardless. Soon, Leo asked the all-important question, "Do you want me?" Your response was quick, "Of course!" Leo, taking advantage of your impatience, would ask, "How do you want me?" Exasperated, you replied, "I want you in me, Leo." "Good answer," he said with a grin on his face. In a flash, Leo had his strong hands on your waist and lifted you in the air, as you instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist. As he approached the bed, he laid you down gently and began laying kisses on your body, just as you did his. As anticipation and desire swirled around in you, Leo gave you the release you needed. He would grab your waist once more, this time to get you on top of him, setting your ass on his cock.

Slowly, he would put his dick in you, and as every inch started to fill you, you wondered just how big he was. After filling, you completely, he would start slowly lifting you off of him, and then going back down. With the desire in your body reaching a fever pitch, you took drastic action. You placed a hand on the headboard of the bed and started moving your ass up and down, moaning each time as his cock entered you again. He kept your pace, speeding up and grunting as you kept going. He took control again, once again turning you over, with his cock still in you. With you now under him, he would place his hands on the bed near your head, and start thrusting. You could only respond in moans as he fucked you with ferocity. The moment felt like a rush of passion, with your two bodies seeming to merge at the moment. The whole world seemed to disappear around you, and you wouldn't have it any other way.

After what seemed like forever, you two re-emerged from the cabin, with your legs still weak, Leo was essentially holding you upright. As you reunited with the other party goers, it was obvious they knew exactly what happened, and you blushed as your friend gave you a light punch on the arm, beaming at you and Leo.

The next days were a blur, and as things settled, you wanted explanations, of all the people he could have, why you? He put it simply, "Everyone else only talked to me after I got big, you were the only one who cared before that." As realization dawned over you, you were transported back to spring break. While you had thought your check-ups as unproductive, to him, it was the only interaction he had with someone from school the whole time. You smiled at him and hugged him, as he wrapped you in a massive bear hug. You two had become inseparable. The party marked the start of your relationship, and what seemed like a missed opportunity, turned into the situation of your dreams.

[peachymilkandcream]

Second Chance|Levi x Evelyn AU

Request: A second chance one shot with Evelyn and Levi. They broke up but he’s been stalking her ever since conveniently showing up when she’s at her worst because he’s been waiting for this.

(A/N: The request is from me haha, I wanted to do something a little interesting and different so I hope you guys like it! I might have to do a part two, or a full series if anyone's interested, just let me know!)

WARNINGS: noncon/dubcon, graphic descriptions of violence, domestic violence, manipulation, mind breaking, yandere behaviour/themes, forced marriage, forced pregnancy, wishing rape upon someone, misogyny, mentions of child abuse, blackmail, revenge porn, murder, second chance, stalking, etc.

================================================

Evelyn had been blissfully free from her ex for months now. The only ties to him left the occasional time checking his social media and seeing what he was up to. It wasn't for being hung up on him or anything, it was more so making sure that he was moving on himself and was finally over it. Levi hadn't been entirely thrilled about the news that Evelyn wanted to break up and was kicking him out of their shared apartment.

He had been upset and brooding the whole time, asking her again and again if she was sure she wanted to do this. They could go to couple's counselling, work things out. This was a mistake, she was throwing away a whole relationship for what.

When he asked the reason she couldn't give a straight answer. The truth was he was controlling, everything from the way her hair was cut to her most recent manicure was all decided by him.

Currently her nails were being redone, Levi had sent her with a particular color, one that he later confessed with pride was the shade of his tip. That was the final straw, she was done with everything being about him and sex. Granted, she had lost her innocence to him and he never gave her a reason to hate it, but still. She was tired of that being all he cared about.

On his socials Levi was partying it up, showing him with his friends, going out to dinners, and acting as if she didn't exist. Her pictures with him were still up, but he supposed he couldn't make him go back and delete every memory over the past two years just because of them.

It brought her relief, she thought that he would be distraught, showing up at her apartment every day until she took him back. It was good to seem him move on in a healthy way.

She never had to worry about him again.

================================================

Levi hadn't moved on. Since he worked from home he set up one of his monitors for work and the other for the security system he had installed in their apartment before he left. He wanted to make sure no man came and tainted her from him. Levi wanted to see and hear what she was going through and know if she missed him, if she wanted him back, or if there was a weakness he could find.

So far nothing good had happened. Thankfully she was in a so called healing process so she wasn't interested in other men just yet. He had time.

With a sigh of finality Levi finished in time with his love, he had been watching her take care of herself through the camera, not mentioning another man's name either. He was sure she missed that aspect of him, even if she didn't admit it. Levi had left an imprint on her life that couldn't be so easily erased. He would come back and win her affections.

After Evelyn had finished she got a phone call with her friend, leaving it on speakerphone.

"So have you been missing Levi?"

"Well there's certain things I miss, but I'm better off without him."

"Move on girl, date some guys, hook up. Levi was your only guy so you need to get some experience."

"I don't think I'm ready for that just yet."

"Okay fine, but eventually. What about that cute guy at your work?"

"Warren? He's kind of out of my league."

"Are you serious? Levi was way hotter than he was and you had to end it with him!"

"Maybe, I'll give it a go. He's nice enough."

"Seriously, get out there. Have some fun, use protection."

"I will, you don't have to remind me."

"I think I do, I don't know but I wouldn't put it past Levi to baby trap you, and it worried me sometimes."

"Levi didn't know I was on birth control, it's okay."

"Good. Just try to forget about him."

"I will. Talk to you later."

They hang up, Evelyn looking happier, while Levi couldn't look more enraged. How dare she put ideas into Evelyn's head?! That was his girl, and now he had competition to work with? And she had been going behind his back this whole time. Evelyn would pay for this. He wouldn't take it lightly.

Levi would get back with her, and he would make her pay for what she'd done. Evelyn would love him again.

[ashwhowrites]

HI! IVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOUR REQUESTS TO OPEN!

Can we please get a song fic with "dial drunk" by Noah kahan??? Definitely gotta be a sad ending. I was thinking either Eddie or Steve, but you can pick! Thank you so much!

(I'd give you a kiss, but I've seen SB get jealous over less 🤭)

Jealous SB is one of my favorite versions of SB

Never proofread

I’m rememberin’ I promised to forget you now But it’s rainin’ and I’m callin’ drunk And my medicine is drowning your perspective out So I ain’t taking any fault Am I honest still? Am I half the man I used to be? I doubt it, forget about it, whatever It’s all the same anyways

Breakups were easy for Eddie because he never bothered to fall in love. He'd get into a relationship, hold himself from falling in love, and get over the girl a week after the breakup.

But now he's on month two of his breakup with Y/N and it hasn't gotten easier. She was the first girl that showed him what falling in love felt like. And she showed him how painful falling in love was.

Everything he touched, he ruined, and she was another thing he shattered. He held her heart in his hands and kept it safe for years and years. He took that heart with him to the bar and held it close while he got drunk, feeling the beating of her heart when he kissed someone new. Leaving her heart on the shelf while he felt the inside of another girl, not noticing the damage the heart would take.

Until the morning when he woke up with a girl that wasn't her, the heart burned when he touched it, glazed over with betrayal. He returned the heart to her with guilt in his eyes, and apologies were on his tongue. It wasn't enough. Her heart was in pieces, and she took every piece back.

Eddie promised himself he'd get over her, he vowed to forget about her in weeks, just like every other girl. But the rain was pouring as he drove to the bar, the same bar where he lost half of himself.

I ain’t proud of all the punches that I’ve thrown In the name of someone I no longer know For the shame of being young, drunk, and alone

Eddie lost count of how many drinks burned down his throat, but he was aware of how many times the guy next to him commented on the picture of Y/N. He took it out to stare at her, slamming the liquor down as he looked at the girl he missed.

His pity party was cut short when he heard the sexual comments the guy next to him had to say.

19....20....21..by the time the guy got to his 22nd comment, Eddie was yanking him off the bar stool. Shoving the man to the ground and trying to heal with every punch he landed.

I don’t like that, when they threw me in the car I gave your name as my emergency phone call Honey, it rang and rang, even the cops thought you were wrong for hanging up I dial drunk, I’ll die a drunk, I’ll die for you

Eddie heard the commotion all around him, but all he could focus on was releasing the anger, sadness, and regret that had built up in him. He heard sirens, and he felt hands grabbing him. His body was being slammed down with his cheek pressed into the sticky floorboards. His hands were yanked behind his back, feeling cold metal on his wrists as they were cuffed together.

He ended up in the backseat of a cop car, one place he vowed to never be in. But here he was, drunk, alone, and arrested. Just like his father.

When he arrived at the station, the cops asked for the number for his emergency call, and he gave her number. Eddie had no one in his life, she was the very last person, and she didn't want to be.

He listened to the call ring and ring. His heart raced the longer it rang; no trace of life on the other line.

The cop looked sadly over at him, a sense of pity in his eyes as Eddie heard the phone die out. He shouldn't be surprised that she didn't answer. This wasn't the first, or even the tenth, time he called her wasted off of his ass. She never picked up, and he hated that he wished for the outcome to be different every time.

I’ll rot with all the burnouts in the cell I’ll change my faith, I’ll kiss the badge Just wait, I swear she’ll call me back Son, why do you do this to yourself?

The cop was getting ready to move him to a cell, but Eddie pleaded just to have another minute. He'd do anything for another minute just to have a gamble to hear her voice again.

He'd rot away with the other burnouts in a cell. He'll change his views, believe in new fates, and discover a new god.

"Please, sir, just wait. I know she'll call back." Eddie pleaded

The cop didn't seem convinced, the pity look taking over his face as he watched Eddie almost in tears.

"Son, why do you do this to yourself?"

"Because I know she will call back."

It was a lie Eddie would continue to tell himself.

Because in the end

I dial drunk, I’ll die a drunk, I’d die for you

tags!

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @manyfandomsfanvergent @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93

[crmsnmth]

A Letter to Someone I'll Never Talk To Again: Part One

Dear "Muppet"

Most people start off a letter by asking how you are, but I don't want to waste words on something that doesn't affect my life. I hope you're doing well, but it's really none of my bsiness in the end. I wish like hell that that wasn't true, but wishes are for wishful thinking. You know me, always the life of the party.

I haven't changed all that much since our time. Okay, that's a lie. I've changed a lot. See after you left, and everyone watched me go down, I vowed to change. That I would someday change back into the person I was at my happiest. I thougth that's what mattered, being happy.

The problem with this fool proof plan was that I was a fool with guesses. I was at my happiest with you, so that means I'll never be that person again. That person is officially dead and buried and his rotting corpse is why my breath stinks to badly in the morning. It leaves a foul taste too.

I knew you were with him during the last month of our relationship. I always wonder if you ever figured out that I figured it out, playing Sherlock Holmes but with a far less interesting story that you already know. I knew he was there while I was at work. And I bit my tongue because I loved you so much. I loved the person I had fallen in love with.

That person I fell in love so deeply with, was different than the one you were at the end. And I guess that's kind of a given fact since you were fucking someone else while we were in our relationship. I've had some bad relationships, the one after you especially difficult, but one thing i can say is that I've never once cheated on any partner I've had. Even if I wanted to, I never did it. Not even has payback. I didn't really give all thought about it.

Why would I? It never mattered what you did. From the very first time you stepped into that bar to the very last time you walked away from me, I knew I was yours. I was yours and I would do anything for you. So I even forgive you for all of this stuff too.

That doesn't mean I wasn't a problem too. I was caught in a delusional world I had built in my head, and I wouldn't get out of it until you left me. I think that was the shock that snapped everything into place. The catalyst, you could say. I was a liar and a con artist with the charisma of Charles Manson. I could get anyone on my side before you. I used those skills. I did it constantly. Tell a lie, something so far off and unreal that was obviously lie, and I'd wait for sometone to take the bait. Once they took the bair, the game was on and I ould try to convince someone that I was right, even when they knew I wasn't. It worked more often than not, and looking back, that frightens me so much. I was so good at it. Either that or everybody was somehow in on the joke. I did it too twice that I can think, but that number should be higher.

I really lost it after you left. And you saw it. The last phone call I ever got from you was the morning after a very awful evening. I don't remember the evening. I was mixing cocaine and being black out drunk. Somehow, I managed to piss everybody off and was taken outside to get the shit kicked out of me. You called the next morning, after hearing abot the beating and my awful behavior. Yout told me your roommate was super pissed at me. I tried to apologize on Facebook and maybe find out what happened, but he read my message and proceeded to block me/ That was it then. That one less than a minute long phone call.

They'll be letters soon, but for now I'm tired and my eyes itch behind my glasses. Time to start the ritual you loved so much in the beginning but by the end hated. And that's how it goes. People change, and there is absolutely nothing one could do. Our time together meant and still means almost everything to me, and at the way it's going, I'll be seeing you when my eyes close for all of eternity. Even without well-respected no contact clause. I almost broke when I came across your picture in a box of random papers. But I didn't. And the number I refuse to delete from my sim card may not even be your number anymore. I've probably gone through 100 different numbers since yo split.

I have to stop now, or I never will.

Love You Until the Sun Explodes, "Peanut"

[say-hwaet]

Here’s the next chapter for my au fanfiction:

HIGH SIERRA: A RED DEAD REDEMPTION STORY

Chapter Two: Into the Woods

On his way to work, Arthur thumbs through his contacts on his phone. Soon, he hears the dial tone and a short pause.

"Hi, son."

"Hi, Dad."

"Bessie! It's Arthur!"

Arthur hears a background noise and a soft voice that has always comforted him ever since they adopted him as a teen. "It's Arthur? Hi, sweetheart!"

Hosea’s voice softens as he talks to his wife on the other side. "I'm going to put him on speaker."

BING

Then Arthur hears his mother correct her husband. "No, Hosea, you're doing it wrong."

BING

"It looks like a microphone, Dad," Arthur interjects, hoping they can hear him.

"Oh, wait, I think I got it."

There is a scratching sound. And another pause before Hosea speaks again. "There. Arthur, can you hear me?"

"Yeah, I can hear you," he chuckles.

"Ah. Good. So how are you, son?"

"Fine. Just thought I'd update you both on Isaac."

"Oh, that poor baby. How is that boy?" Bessie's voice grows louder, Arthur pictures her leaning close to the phone and almost laughs.

"As of now, they say he's stable and that the worst part is over. He's even been back to school."

"Oh, that's wonderful!" Bessie praises. "I was hoping he could finish the school year out. It being second grade and all."

Arthur smiles softly, nodding his head. "I'm glad, too. He seems to be doing fine."

"How's Eliza?"

Arthur swallows, not sure if he was ready to talk about it. Hosea was also at the party but didn't see what had happened. He didn't know why Eliza stormed off and left Arthur behind that night. Bessie stayed at home and watched her grandbaby, so she wasn't aware, either. "She's alright."

Hosea’s voice comes confidently through the phone. "Still mad at you, huh?"

"How'd you figure?"

"Well, put two and two together, and an old man with experience can figure things out."

Arthur was hoping that it wouldn’t be so obvious, but he knows there’s no point in trying to convince his father otherwise. He’s too smart for that. "Sure.”

"So, are you gonna tell us what actually happened?"

"It isn't good."

"I doubt that."

Arthur becomes expressive as he drives, flitting his fingers on the steering wheel after making a turn. "You haven't heard what it is yet, but I don't know if I should say it over the phone."

"What is it, honey?" Bessie pleads.

They remain silent. It seems that he won't be able to talk his way out of this one. The tall redwoods guard both sides of the road and the solitude in his vehicle helps him to feel freer to talk about the topic of Eliza.

"Eliza saw Mary kissing me."

"Oh gosh. Your ex-girlfriend?" Hosea asks.

"Yeah."

"Oh, Arthur, why did you go on and do that?" Bessie wis not happy to hear it but sounds more sad than angry. Truth be told, she really likes Eliza, and she vividly remembers that day when Arthur came over, so young, sad, and upset when Mary told him she would never marry him. All those plans shattered.

So when Eliza came into the picture, and after seeing her grand baby for the first time at the hospital, she was rooting for them to be a family. But of course, she kept most of this to herself. Mary was a nice girl, all things considered, but she was not a perfect match for her son.

Arthur grimaces, but not from the sunlight as it flashes in his eyes. He lowers the visor and blinks. "I didn't kiss her back, but it didn't look good. I...I didn't stop her."

"Do you wish you had?"

"Yes, Dad, but I don't know how I feel about all this. I'm confused."

Hosea clicks his tongue. "Well, you need to figure out what it is that you want."

"That's what Eliza said."

"Smart girl." It was clear who Hosea preferred. "Take some time away from both of them and see who you miss. Think about who really matters."

"I can't just not spend time with Isaac."

"No, of course not, so just...pick him up."

Arthur sighs, that is an option. "Okay."

"It'll be alright, honey," Bessie's comforting tone makes Arthur smile. "It's better to be honest with yourself."

"You're right."

Arthur makes a final turn on a road and approaches the employee side of the district office. Showing his badge to an officer at security, he is waved on through. "Look, I gotta go. I am at the office."

"Alright, son. The next time you have Isaac, bring him on by, would you?"

"I sure will. Eliza wanted me to tell you both hello, by the way."

"I knew I liked her."

Arthur grits his teeth. "Not helping, Dad."

"Sorry. Bye, son."

"Bye, Dad. Bye, Mom."

"Love you!" she sings and he hangs up.

He parks in his reserved spot at the Department of Fish and Wildlife, which he and the other wardens claim as their base. He looks at the time, and sees he is only five minutes late, and is sure that his superiors will forgive him.

He steps out of the vehicle and locks it, then makes his way inside.

He is greeted by the summer student at the front desk, Mary-Beth, who just recently came back to help their clerk for the summer. “Hiya, Arthur!"

"Well, Mary-Beth, it's about time you came back!" Arthur stops on his way in and leans on the counter. He rests his right arm on its surface and tucks his left hand in his pocket.

Mary Beth chuckles playfully. "And you're lucky I did. I have a lot of planning to do."

"And why's that?"

She beams, holding out her hand. On her ring finger, is a simple silver band with a solitary diamond.

Arthur’s mouth goes agape and he looks closely at the ring with a happy interest. "Why, congratulations!"

She brings back her hand to tuck hair behind her ear bashfully. "When I graduate next year, we will be going to Ireland for our honeymoon, that is where my fiancé is from. Well, kinda."

"Okay, so who is the lucky feller?"

"His name is Kieran Duffy. We met in my first year in college."

"Is he going into journalism too, then?"

She shakes her head and goes to a stack of papers to go through. "Oh no. He actually works as a groundskeeper. He has quite a career at keeping the university clean and beautiful, inside and out. Plus, he works with troubled kids over the summer and teaches them fishing, so I will get to see him when I help at the park sometimes. He rather enjoys it."

Arthur steps away from the counter, his eyes softening. He’s glad that at least someone is having a successful relationship. It seems that he always finds a way to mess his up. "Well, I am happy for you."

"Thanks, Arthur."

He waves as he walks on, heading into the conference room where there is usually a morning briefing and assignments.

Other than the tension in his personal life, everything else has been going well. Having been a game warden for almost ten years, he has worked hard and diligently up the ranks. Reaching the level of Corporal, he hopes to be able to work with the Special Operations Unit, if he can only prove himself.

Though he does not worry about being late this time, he knows he doesn't want to risk it again, lest the captain finds him unloyal and uncommitted to the tasks that the SOU would require of him.

He sees that the meeting has not started yet, and sighs a breath of relief. He finds a seat next to his friend Charles, who has only been with the department for a few months. He’s young, built like a bison, and speaks with a calm and thoughtful air. He has been helping Arthur implement a full-fledged K-9 program in the department, and Charles has shown great promise in his field. And above all, Arthur trusts him, which speaks volumes.

"Hey, Charles."

Charles nods, his voice soft and calm. "Morning, Arthur.”

Arthur pulls out the chair next to his companion and takes a quick look around. “Captain Monroe here, yet?"

Charles shakes his head, smiling. "Nope. You're lucky."

"Am I?" Arthur laughs as he sits down. He lurches forward and the chair makes a warbled screech on the tiled floor.

Charles returns to face forward and rests his arms on the table in front of him. "I wouldn't want to get on his bad side."

"Sure, If he has one,” Arthur snorts.

"The nice ones usually do, when you least expect it."

Arthur can see his point, but decides to humor him. "I'll take your word for it." As their conversation settles, he looks over on Charles's left and sees Copper, his Chesapeake Bay Retriever, lying down. He pats Charles’s shoulder, and gestures to the canine. "Hey, thanks for taking him home for a few days."

Charles nods. "No problem, Arthur. If he and I are going to be working together, we might as well get used to one another, right?"

"Sure." Arthur was grateful to Charles for taking him for a few days. Even though Copper belonged to Arthur, ever since he was a pup, he needed to be able to not worry about him while he figured things out. Charles could see it anyway, the change in Arthur's demeanor, without even knowing about the incident at the party, but didn't think it was his place to ask. So, when Arthur suggested Charles take Copper for a couple of days, he gladly agreed. "Since we have this K-9 unit starting up, you will be getting a dog soon, I think."

"I was wondering about that. I overheard Captain Monroe asking someone about it yesterday."

"Well, good."

Before anything else could be said, Captain Monroe enters the room.

"Good morning," he formally greets. All in attendance make sure to rise in respect. He waves them down and they sit. "Just to make you all aware, although some of you may already be, school ends in three weeks, which means we will have more people active in parks, forests, and wild reserves." Captain Monroe fingers through some papers after setting them down on the table.

Finding one, he takes it and glances over it. He continues, "If you recall last year, we had some teenage arsonists who thought it amusing to start some wildfires, so be diligent in your patrols if you see unoccupied vehicles near dry grass and on the outskirts of our National parks. We also have a rising issue of drug trafficking this year. With that being said, Corporal Morgan and Warden Smith, you will be taking your K-9 unit and patrolling the northwestern region of our district. Try to avoid detection on the roads, and enter through the northern part of the woods."

"Understood," answers Charles.

"And before you ask, Morgan, the unit will be getting a new K-9 Monday, so Smith, it will be assigned to you. Sounds good, gentlemen?"

"Yes, sir," they answer in unison. Arthur turns to see a small smile on Charles's face.

"Very good. Let's continue with the remaining assignments."

Captain Monroe begins to go through each group and unit, reiterating the cautionary tales and places to keep an eye on. Arthur and Charles listen, though they don't need to. Arthur was only responsible for his unit and was to check in on other wardens as needed. He loved the freedom to be outdoors while also manning a gun and taking his dog along. To him, it has been the perfect job.

But knowing that some don't feel that way has bothered him in the past. He didn't appreciate the doubt that some had in his career choice.

Hosea and Bessie always told him he was intelligent and could have been a doctor or pursued a career in the exploratory sciences. But he preferred to help his folks work their ranch raising horses and hold riding classes. So, when he decided to go to college, it came as a surprise, as they were unsure of what he would pursue. But when they found out the reason why he even decided to go to college, they vocalized their concerns that his relationship with Mary wasn't healthy at the time. Arthur was convinced that being college educated would earn her parents' approval and they could get married, despite Hosea's assurances that it wouldn't. He didn't listen, had his heart broken, and they were certain that he would quit college, despite being close to graduation.

But he stuck with it. Earning two degrees in Biology and Conservation Law, it wasn't long before they were sitting in an auditorium watching him receive his badge after excelling in the Warden Academy.

Captain Monroe dismisses everyone and leaves the room. Charles and Arthur stand up, alerting Copper. Copper rises and comes to Arthur, tail furiously wagging.

"Hey, boy!" Arthur greets, patting his dog on the head. "Did ya miss me?"

"Do you wanna drive?" Charles asks, pushing his chair in.

"Naw, I see the look on your face. You take the reins for today. You oughta learn the routes, anyway."

"I know where we're going."

Arthur raises his hands in a playfully defensive gesture, smiling.

"Oh, I'm sorry."

Charles chortles and Arthur takes Copper's leash.

"Let's go."

***

After being on the road for a few minutes, a silence fell in the cab of the department truck. Arthur takes out a small leather sketchbook he uses as a journal and starts to write some thoughts down. He writes about this morning and the confusion he feels and hopes to figure things out. After writing, he looks out the window at the scenery and begins to sketch it.

"I didn't know you drew, Arthur."

Arthur turns and sees Charles glance his way before turning back to look at the road. "Oh. Yeah, I've been doing it since I was a boy. Not really good at it, it's just a hobby. It has been a while though, so I thought I'd get back into it."

"Oh really? I am into woodworking myself. I make bows."

Arthur lifts his chin, interested. "Really? Who taught you?"

"My mom. When we lived out at the reservation, it was important to keep our history alive. Making a hunter's bow was an honorary task. She also does some featherwork."

"So you're Native American? I thought that you're..."

"My father is black and my mother's Native American."

Arthur feels embarrassed, worried that he has offended him. "Oh. I hope I didn't offend you by..."

Charles lifts his hand in a passive gesture, putting Arthur at ease. "No, it's okay. I know you didn't mean anything by it. Most people are fine, but that doesn't mean everyone is. Even amongst my people, there were some."

"Huh."

"Yeah."

A small silence falls between them, the scenery changing slightly as they head more north. After another moment, Arthur clears his throat. "When did you move off the reservation, then?"

"I was almost eighteen. I guess my father wanted a different life for us. It was hard for my mom, but we adjusted eventually. I still go out to visit my family that's still there. I wish things could have been different for them."

Arthur doesn’t know if he should say anymore. There isn’t much to say. He looks to the back of the cab into the bed of the truck and sees Copper's head sticking up in his secured crate. He smiles. Turning back around he opens the page in his journal and begins to sketch a mountainous landscape.

***

Finally approaching the woods from the northern side, they pull off under some trees to hide the truck. They both jump out and Arthur immediately goes to the bed of the truck to let Copper out, who begins to whine quietly. He knows he is about to start working and it excites him every time. Arthur grins. "Just hang in there, boy. You'll be out soon enough."

Charles grabs their packs and pulls out a pump action rifle. Though they prefer to avoid shooting anything, there was always a chance to encounter something dangerous in the woods.

Arthur leaps into the bed and lets Copper out, who bypasses him, and jumps down onto the ground, sniffing eagerly. Leaping over the side, Arthur meets Charles and takes his pack from him. "Thanks, Charles.”

"Sure, Arthur.” Charles rests his hands on his hips and regards the forest before them, taking a deep breath of the pine-scented air. “Where do you want to start?"

Considering their options, Arthur points east. "Let's check out the spots where folks tend to camp. We might pick something up there. If Copper gets anything, we will follow him then."

"Of course."

Locking up the truck, they begin to trek in the woods, heading to a secluded spot where people tend to camp at. The woods are thick and the fresh air circulates through the leaves, causing a rustling sound. Looking up through the trees into the sky, Arthur regards the clouds and wonders if it might rain. He pulls out his GPS and looks at their location. The campsite is a mile into the woods.

"Arthur, look."

Arthur immediately stops and looks to Charles, who points into the trees. Following the line of sight, Arthur spots it: a young buck, gently eating at a small bush. Arthur looks at Copper, who remains still and does not bark.

"Good dog," Arthur whispers.

They remain still for a moment and wait for the deer to trot gracefully in between some aspens.

"Let's hope he lives a long life.”

Arthur replies with conviction and solemnity. "That's what we are here for, Charles. Let's keep going."

They move onward. As they continue, the light penetrates through the trees less and less. Arthur takes note of the health of the trees, indicating the dryness of the foliage in his Game Warden's logbook.

"Hopefully it will rain soon. It isn't good how early in the summer it is to have it dry like this."

"Yeah," Charles agrees.

It has been almost twenty minutes, and they approach the campsite. Pushing away at some low branches, Copper runs ahead and sniffs the site. Arthur holds back the branches for Charles who nods in thanks and they walk around the space. Charles immediately goes to the fireplace and checks the coals.

"Still warm. There is still a glow. So irresponsible."

Arthur regards the trash. Thankfully, it was all in a bag, but it was still left behind.

"Do you think they could still be around?" Charles asks.

"I don't think so. There's no tent."

"Maybe they're day hikers."

"Could be." Arthur notices a bunch of sunflower seed shells strewn all over the ground. "Don't people know they can burn half of the trash they bring in?"

"I guess not. Look at the sky." They both look up and see an opening in the trees. A line of smoke shoots straight up. Fire.

"The other camp?"

"Let's go, Arthur."

Arthur kicks dirt on the coals, stifling any that desire to burn. "Okay. Let's remember to come back and pick up the trash later."

"Sure thing."

Arthur whistles sharply. "Copper, heel!"

Copper comes quickly to Arthur's side and they move on to another common campsite.

"Who normally camps out here?" Charles grunts as he ducks under a tree.

"Teenagers and young adults who want to be alone," Arthur answers matter-of-factly. Copper leaves Arthur's side and trots ahead, keeping his head low to the ground.

"I can imagine," Charles scoffs, disgusted.

"C'mon. Don't tell me you never had a wild streak?" Arthur laughs, remembering the days when he would sneak out to meet Mary at the diner in town during its late hours. They'd share a milkshake and a few sweet nothings, and he'd come back home before Hosea and Bessie would even notice he was ever gone. Sure, he'd be exhausted in the morning, but it was typical for high school sweethearts to do things like that.

"Nope.”

Arthur’s smile falls, but after thinking about it, it doesn’t really surprise him. "Oh."

"I am guessing you did?"

"Yes, but that doesn't mean I condone trashing up a camp and leaving an unattended fire."

"Sure," Charles laughs.

Suddenly, Copper stops ahead of them and lifts his head. He sniffs the air and signals that he has found something of interest. Charles and Arthur stop laughing and watch. "Find, boy," Arthur commands, and Copper takes off.

Right in the direction of the camp.

"Something's not right," Charles says thoughtfully.

Arthur can’t help but agree. "Let's go see."

They walk briskly through the woods, carefully watching their steps, and see Copper sniffing at something large on the ground. It takes a moment to realize what it is.

It is a partially charred body.

Let me know if you want the next chapter! 😊

@photo1030

[inwintersolitude]

- July 20th 2023 -

Do you think you could handle a job in the medical field? Why or why not? I think I would do well in a medical research type of job. But I'd never want any sort of patient-facing role, I'm not a very people-oriented kind of person.

Would you rather edit photos on your phone or computer? I have Lightroom on both my phone and my laptop and I like them both the same.

What is one electronic device you own that you have not used in a long time? My Kindle. I actually kind of forgot I even had it until I was thinking of an answer to this question.

What is one thing you are currently behind on? Housework. My Granddad passed away a few days ago and I've been too heartbroken to really do anything other than mope around. I'm just taking things day by day right now.

When was the last time you wore a dress or a skirt? I wore a skirt last Friday to the birthday party that my brother and sister-in-law threw for my husband.

When was the last time you had a migraine? Thankfully it's been a while. Maybe like a month?

What is your favorite thing about Instagram? I just like the format of the platform. It's great for all sorts of different type of photo-based content. I use it for mostly nature photography and some photos of just day-to-day life, but I also like all the recipe pages, home decor pages, and I follow a ton of parrot-related pages too.

When was the last time you wore a flower in your hair? Maybe as a kid, if ever?

List three words to describe yourself using the first letter of your middle name. Mellow, mathematically-inclined, methodical.

Have you ever had a friend with the same middle name as you? Not my current middle name, because that's my maiden surname which is kind of rare and not even a given name in the first place. But my middle name used to be Elizabeth, and I do think I had a few friends growing up who had the same middle name.

What color was your locker in high school? Blue? I think?

How many framed pictures of you and a family member or friend can you see from where you're sitting right now? Two.

What is the first thing you think of when you see the rainbow emoji? 🌈 Rainbows..?

When was the last time you got a new pair of glasses? A little over a year ago.

Do you prefer to play chess or checkers? Either.

What color was your first cell phone? Light silver.

Do you remember when smartphones were a new thing that had just come out, and only rich people had them? I definitely remember when smartphones were new, but they weren't really a "rich people only" sort of thing. The very first iPhone was $599, you don't need to be wealthy to afford that.

If you could choose to have been born in a different month, which month would you choose to be born in, and why? I'm fine with my January birthday, I just wish it wasn't in the very first week of January. It gets overshadowed by Christmas and New Years.

….and which month were you actually born in? January.

Does your first name rhyme with anything? (If so, what?) Belly. lol

Have you ever met anyone who didn't like the color blue? I'm not sure.

What color was the last pill you took? White.

How often do you use emojis? Every now and then.

When was the last time you took a selfie? According to my cameral roll… a little over a week ago. I've been taking periodic selfies to track how well my new skincare products are working at fading hyperpigmentation.

How many E's are in your full name? 3.

What is the first letter of the name of the street you grew up on? A. Well, that's the street I lived on the longest. I lived there from ages 6-18.

Which decade were you born in? 90s, barely. My due date was on one of the last days of 1989 but apparently I didn't want to come out. 😂

Who was the last friend of yours to have a birthday? My husband (and best friend) just had his birthday a week ago.

Are you looking forward to your next birthday? Why or why not? 🥳 I guess. I don't feel any certain way about it.

When was the last time you blew up a balloon? I don't remember. It's been years.

If you had to go an entire week without using any technology, what do you think you would spend most of your time doing instead? Reading books. Cooking. Hiking. Going out to restaurants. Playing with my birds. Spending time with relatives. All of which I already do.

What is the first thing you think of when you hear the word "mast"? Ships.

Where is the weirdest place you've ever slept? In the cockpit of a small 2-seat airplane, while flying over Indiana/Ohio LOL. My husband (boyfriend at the time) and I were copilots on our university's competitive flying team and we were ferrying one of the planes back from a national-level competition. I needed a short nap so he took the controls for a little while.

Would you rather travel to Asia or France? Well, Asia is the world's largest continent! So it would totally depend on what part of Asia. I've always wanted to go to Bhutan, I'd rather go there than to France. But I'd rather go to France than, say, Myanmar… or Afghanistan… or Bangladesh.

What is something new that you've learned recently, that you didn't know before? I'm sure there are plenty of little info tidbits I've learned recently, but I can't think of anything specific right now.

[peakyscillian]

Scars to your beautiful | Cillian x fem!reader |

Summary: Cillian and Y/N attend a film premiere, Y/N is feeling all kinds of insecure. Warnings: Angst, language, arguing. scar reference but nothing graphic or new. Request: @being-worthy A/N: I hope this is ok!

Scars to your beautiful

Lights flashing, people shouting, Cillian had his hand linked tightly with yours, the dress you had been sent was drawing unwanted attention to your body and you could see all the actresses and wives of actors up ahead, posing for the cameras. Cillian was being called left and right for the press, you stood off to the side letting him have his moment in front of the cameras, then his publicist was next to you, leaning close to your ear "Go have a few pictures with him y/n" he smiled, you shook your head shyly. "You look fantasic should show it off" he added after your refusal, you gave him the smallest smile but refused again. Cillian was back by your side, his hand back in yours as you made your way up the carpet to the cinema "wish you would of had a few pictures with me" he commented, you felt your heart sink. "I was just letting you have your moment Cill" you smiled, as he held the door for you, dropping a kiss to your cheek .

The film had been amazing, you were thankful for the dimly lit cinema, you and Cillian had been at the after party for around twenty minutes, he'd gone to the bar leaving you at a table, you could see him laughing and joking with a beautiful co-star, her hand on his arm. You didn't blame either of them Cillian was the most handsome man in the room and she was just stunning, you were surely the most out of place person here, always unsure why Cillian wanted to be with you. Cillian caught your eyes, waving you over, his co-star turned as well a welcoming smile on her face, you shook your head, holding up a finger to signal you'd be back, heading for the toilets. No way could you stand there near her and not feel like you wanted the room to swallow you whole. Standing next to her would only make Cillian realise what a mistake he had made, bringing you, hell even being with you in the first place. *** Cillian excused himself from talking to a few of his co-stars, you had headed to the bathroom a while ago and he was worried you'd been so quiet all evening, fidgetting with the beautiful dress that suited you so well. He knew how insecure you could be, how you were sure he had made a mistake asking you to marry him. He knew it wasn't your fault that you felt this way, he had seen so many negative things destroy the confidence of his sisters he wasn't immune to it. He had seen the scars on your thighs, the marks of your past pain and he just wanted to take everything away, but nights like tonight you pushed and pushed until he was so far away from you, you couldn't hear him. He waited outside the ladies bathrooms, pulling his phone out to send you a message, his patience wearing thinner by the minute, he wasn't one to argue especially not with you, but right now he was getting frustrated, he just wanted you to see how beautiful you were to him and nearly everyone you met. You finally appeared he could see the red puffiness of your eyes, the stained make up on your cheeks, he downed his beer placing the glass on the window ledge behind him. "Hey, hey whats wrong?" concern flooded his body as he held you by your elbows. "I jus-just want to go home Cill" you hiccuped, he bit at his lip, he wanted you here, he had finally persauded you to come along to a premiere and now the night was just getting started and you wanted to leave. He took in a sharp breath "I can call Clive to come get you?" he asked, you nodded "Are you coming?" you questioned, he shook his head. "Y/N it's a big premiere night everyone is here, Enda has asked me to make a speech, he's my closest friend I can't just disappear" he was trying his hardest to keep his cool. You stood on tiptoes to kiss him quickly "It's fine Cillian, enjoy your night I'll see you at home" you went to walk away to wait out by the entrance for his driver. "No, dont you dare make me feel guilty, I was so damn excited to have you here with me tonight, so happy that you agreed to come, then we get here and you dont want pictures, you dont want to talk to my castmates, you hide in the toilets, what more can I do?" he was frustrated you knew that but you couldn't help it.

"I feel like shit ok? I saw you with that women, in the red dress looking like a fucking model, I'll leave you too it yeah?" you pulled your hand from his grasp. "She's my co-star, she was asking to meet you because I never shut up talking about you and you were so rude, now I've got to go back in there and explain you've left because you're jealous?" he was baffled, he didn't know what else he could do "I'm not jealous Cillian, you can fucking have her for all I care" you took off, heels clicking across the marble floor, not looking back at him.

*** You were under the duvet, having got home stripped from the dress leaving it in a pile on the floor of the walk-in wardrobe, heels discarded down stairs, you'd took the make-up off and bundled your hair into a bun before crawling under the covers. You felt so awful leaving Cillian the way you had, but you needed to get out of the party, you didn't belong in his perfect life. You had made your decision, you needed to leave you needed to let Cillian be happy with someone who deserved him.

There was always a bag packed at the back of your side of the wardrobe, waiting for the moment you would need it, you got out from the covers, padding across to the wardrobe, stepping over the dress heading for the bag.

***

You were making your way down the stairs when you heard the front door close, you froze heart pounding. Cillian appeared at the bottom of the staircase, brows knitted together. "What..where are you going?" his eyes fell to the bag in your hand. "I don't deserve you, I shouldn't be with you" you were biting at your lip. Cillian shrugged off his coat, dropping his keys into the dish, taking the steps two at a time to reach you. "I'm sorry okay? I didn't mean to get mad, I just wish you would see how beautiful you are to me, how much I adore you, you're beautiful y/n, so beautiful and I'll spend everyday telling you that, please, please stay" he was pleading, down on his knee's on the step below you. You allowed him to take the bag from your hands, to lead you up the stairs, help you undress and redress into your lounge clothes, tucking you into the bed, promising to be right back after locking up the downstairs, you hadn't said a word. You were overwhelmed, by this man and his love for you, you were still certain you didn't deserve him.

***

Taglist @being-worthy @missymurphy1985 @janelongxox @queenshelby @noctvrnalmoth @magicalpieex @datewithgianni @elenavampire21 @cloudofdisney @uchihacumdump

[rebelwrites]

She Ain’t You

Harvey Specter x Reader

Part 2 of Please Don’t Leave Me

A/N another addition to @band--psycho music writing challenge with the song “she ain’t me” by Sophia Scott

Join The TagList Here 💜 // Harvey Specter Masterlist

It had been a year since you had left Pearson Specter Litt and as much as you told Harvey to move on, something was stopping you from doing the same.

Yes you had been on a few dates that your best friend had set you up on but you just weren’t interested as none of them were Harvey. And to make matters worse you were cleaning out your wardrobe and found a box of memories which you were now going through.

You ran your fingers of the picture of you and Harvey that had been taken at a gala the firm attended, to make things worse you had found one of his sweaters which even after a year still smelt like him. You couldn’t help the tears that fell.

Pulling your phone out you facetime your best friend. Within a couple of rings she picked up.

“Whoa why you crying babe?” Becki asked.

“I just” you sniffled “I miss him Bex, I’ve just been cleaning my wardrobe out and I just found one of his sweaters”

“Y/N” she sighed “it’s been a year now, you need to move on”

“I know but I just can’t” you whispered wiping your tears. “I don’t know what to do and to top things up he is in a new relationship”

“You told him to move on so he has” she said “I’m gonna be honest here you fucked up but I know just what you need”

“What” you sighed.

“You need a girls night out” she grinned “I will be over in 15 and we will try and get your mind off him even if it is just for tonight”

I ran into you last night at our favourite bar. I didn't even have to ask you how you are. 'Cause I've seen all the pictures of your brand new life. And the girl you've been saying's gonna be your wife. So I take a deep breath and I wait for the worst part

It was like the world wanted you to burn, the one night you agreed to go out with Bex had to be the night that he was at the same bar. But it wasn’t just him it was everyone from the firm as well.

And to rub salt in the wound he had his new girlfriend hanging off his arm.

“Gimme a whiskey” you shouted to the bartender.

As soon as the drink was placed in front of you, you downed it, ignoring the burning sensation in your throat.

You couldn’t help yourself as you looked over to where Harvey was, taking in his girlfriend. One look told you everything you needed to know, she was the complete opposite to you, in every single way, even to the type of drinks she drank.

Because you were so lost in your thoughts you didn’t even see Donna appear next to you.

“Well I didn’t expect to see you here tonight trouble” she said nudging your arm.

“I could say the same thing” you sighed as you ordered another drink.

“I’m not gonna sit here and make small talk with you” Donna nodded “you miss him don’t you, you feel like you made the world’s biggest mistake”

“Donna I’m fine” you lied.

“Girl don’t bullshit me, you know I can see straight through it” she said

“Fine I feel like I’m drowning” you shrugged “and seeing her well it makes me want to stab my eyes out”

“Trust me, nobody likes her” Donna laughed.

Say she's beautiful. Like she walked right out of your dreams. She ain't cynical. She never fights or disagrees. Well, I know you and what you need. And she can't give you everything. 'Cause there's one thing she'll never be. She ain't me

You don’t know how you let Donna convince you and Bex to join their party but here you were, slamming down whiskeys like they were water, ignoring the concerned look that flashed across Harvey’s face.

Normally you were the life of the party, always cracking jokes and lowering the bar, but tonight you were quiet. Your thoughts about her being the complete opposite of you was confirmed as she spoke.

One thing was for sure, she was the type not to argue about anything, she would just roll over and agree.

“So what are you doing with yourself now Y/N?” Mike asked.

“Not much really” you shrugged “kinda took some time off to be honest, but started working for a clinic”

“You said you always wanted to do some clinic work” Harvey smiled.

“Yeah” you nodded

'Cause I know you better than you know yourself. I know the secrets that you never told no one else. And I bet she only sips on pretty pink drinks. And never quite says what she really thinks. I wish I could say that I wish you well

A week had passed and you couldn’t get Harvey out of your mind, tossing your pen on the desk you grabbed your phone and dialed his number.

“Harvey Specter” his voice appeared.

“Hey Harvs” you whispered.

“Y/N why are you calling?” He asked.

“Wondered if we could speak?” You asked.

“Now isn’t a good time” he said.

“Oh right” you sighed “when’s best for you?”

“I don’t know” he said quite harsh “I’m swamped, if I get chance I will call you”

Before you could even speak the line went dead.

“Fucking dickhead” you muttered grabbing you smokes, you needed to get some air.

You didn’t know what you expected by calling him but you didn’t expect him to brush you off. But you knew him better than anyone else and you could tell he was going through some shit just by the tone of his voice.

Like the kinda girl that you cut out of a magazine. I'm a little bit rough and I'm known to cause a scene. I know you miss it when you see me. True love ain't always easy. And perfect ain't as perfect as it seems

“I rang Harvey today” you said to Donna before taking a bite out of your burger.

“How did that go?” She asked.

“The bastard blew me off” you laughed. “I don’t know why I bothered”

“Y/N this isn’t my place to say” Donna said.

“But you are gonna tell me anyway” you laughed.

“He broke up with her” she said smiling.

“Good for him” you shrugged “not like things are gonna change everyone knows I’m not the easiest person to love, things got said and arguments happened”

“I’m gonna tell you something now and I want you to listen” Donna said taking your hand in hers “I have never seen Harvey so broken as I did when you left, yes you fight but I have never seen two people love as hard as you and Harvey, true love is never perfect”

Donna’s words kept replaying in your mind, could you and him make things work again? Would he even want to take you back?

Either way you weren't going to push your luck, it was up to him.

Climbing out the shower you dried yourself and got into your fluffy pyjama bottoms and hoodie, deciding to let your hair dry naturally you grabbed your phone and smokes and headed out to your balcony.

As you were just about to light your cigarette you heard a knock at your door, nothing thinking anything of it you ignored it and sparked your cig.

You were just about finished with the smoke when whoever it was knocked again.

“I’m coming, I’m coming” you sighed as you walked through your apartment.

Finally you unlocked the door and saw the one person you never expected to be standing at your door at nearly 9pm at night.

“Harvey” you breathed, suddenly feeling self conscious that you were standing there in your pyjamas. “What, Urm what are you doing here?”

He didn’t speak, he just looked you up and down, a small smile playing in his lips as he took in your appearance. And without any warning he walked over to you with a sense of urgency, his hands went to either side of your face before his lips crashed against yours, instantly you wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him back.

“She wasn’t you Y/N” he whispered against you lips “she would never be you”

[miraculous-trinity-leo]

Tᕼᗴ ᑕᕼᗩOTIᑕ ᗩᑎᘜᗴᒪ

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6)

Chapter 3: Au Revoir Gotham My True Home

•—–—–·†·–—–—•

Marinette explained what happened and that she didn't mean to cause trouble, she didn't know why the bats were looking for her (author to audience... it's because she looks like one of his bat kids gone rouge.) When she asked how they knew the Bat was looking for her, she found out that Selina was actually dating the Bat... So Marinette was very surprised at that, her family talked about it and a few days after her birthday she'll be going to Paris, France with Selina to be with a family friend of hers. Marinette was now really thinking she was cursed, but she made sure to take it in stride and spend as much time with her friends and family as possible.

"Doan wawhry suguh, we'll make sure tuh visit as much as possible, yuh can even visit us durin' summuh and wintuh break." - Harley held back the tears as she hugged Marinette, Bud, Lou, Ivy, Selina, Ed and even Frank joined in on it.

……… ………

Marinette was out with her friends still not sure how to tell them, she started with the obvious.

"Sooo... tomorrow I turn 10... the double digits." - Marinette

"Soon you'll be one of us!" - Garfield gave Marinette a side hug with a big smile, god he made it harder to tell them

"So what do you want to do? We can celebrate, tomorrow and the day after that, and the day after that, heck we can celebrate for the whole week while we're at it!" - Garfield

Rachel noticed the sad smile Marinette had as Garfield continued talking.

"Is there something you need to tell us?" - Rachel's words stoped Garfield in his tracks, he then looked at a slightly teary Marinette, and he felt a slight tinge of pain in his chest.

"I- um, I'm moving this Saturday... I'm sorry I really don't want to, but- *hic* I-" - Marinette was cut off by Garfield giving her a hug, he rubbed small circles on her back as she let out a few sobs. Rachel patting her shoulder to try and comfort her.

After they were like that for a few minutes, they decided to get ice cream

……… ……… ………

"I'm sorry." - Marinette eating her chocolate chip ice cream

"It's not your fault Mari, besides, we can officially say we have a pen pal in Paris." - Garfield with his chocolate mint ice cream trying to lighten the mood, managed to get a chuckle out of Marinette.

"We can still video call, or text you. And your parents said you can visit on summer and winter break." - Rachel just starting her strawberry ice cream

"But what if I need a friend to talk to when I can't sleep? Or if I need a movie buddy? Or gaming buddy?" - Marinette

"There are online multiplayer games we can play you know." - Rachel

"Yeah, and I'm sure you'll make friends over there really quickly, I mean you already know a few other languages, including French, so there isn't any communication problems." - Garfield

"I wish you guys could come with me..." - Marinette almost done with her ice cream

"... Didn't you say you always wanted a hamster, maybe one that's unique, like a the rare Green Gotham Hamster?" - Garfield with a mischievous grin

"Selina's family friends own a bakery, so no pets allowed. Sorry Rare Green Gotham Hamster, I'm afraid you're staying native to Gotham." - Marinette said patting his shoulder.

"Wait they own a bakery?! As in you can be on a sugar high 24/7?! Take me with you!!" - Garfield

……… ……… ………

Soon it was time for them to go home, when Marinette got home, she continued packing what she would need, making sure that her Siren plushies where safely secure, and then went to eat dinner.

The next day she made sure to get up early, Garfield and Rachel knew where she lived, and wanted to make sure everything was ready for them, setting up the games they would play into the night, and the movies they would watch after that.

She then went to the Gardens to greet her Mom and the plants, doing the usual routine of checking all the plants, complimenting and watering them. During which a sleepy Harley walked over giving Ivy and Marinette a morning kiss before going to make her coffee.

At breakfast she didn't see her Aunt yet, she assumed she was robbing someone rich again.

……… Over to Catwoman ………

"Come ta mama." - Catwoman mumbled as she used her claws to cut the glass surrounding an old elegant purple sapphire that belonged to one of Gotham's founding fathers' wives.

……… Back to Marinette ………

About an hour after breakfast Garfield and Rachel came over, holding Marinettes' rapped presents, they started the day off with trivia games, which they called the MIQ (which can mean either Marinette Isley-Quinzel or in this case Memory Intelligence Quiz) which Marinette and Rachel came to a tie followed by Ivy, then Harley, and Garfield. They then moved on to board games, Marinette decided to play The Game of Life rather than Monopoly (because lets be honest, who has ever finished that game in the time of a signle day? An extreme speedrunner... maybe.) while the adults got the cake ready. Surprisingly Garfield won, he got the acting career, a sports car, a nice old fashioned mid modern house, a wife, and 3 kids... Marinette got the fashion designer career, got a motorcycle, and a small, but nice victorian house, a husband, and one kid... and Rachel got the scientist career (because science is just simplified mortal magic), a delorean car (and even said "Since science is magic I can make it fly, so technically, I don't need roads where I'm going."), a modern cabin in the woods, single (she didn't want a significant other to interrupt her magic science) and got a pet bird.

Once Selina and Ed came over, they began the party, playing games like DDR, Ultimate Mecha Strike 2, and Racing games.

When it came time for Marinette to blow out her candles, she wished that everything would be okay, and that she will be able to come back to Gotham permanently, and blew them out.

She then got to open her presents, she started with Harley's, and got a custom baseball bat that was a dark steel blue, with a light grey handle grip, and it had the words "Quinn For Da Win" on it, putting a smile on her face, when she opened Ivy's gift she got seeds of her favorite flowers to plant over in Paris. She then opened her Uncle Ed's gift, which was a small watch that had special A.I., it had a cover over the inside screen that would flip open to reveal another screen. The cover was silver with a blue question mark, and when it opened, it showed the time, and the location you where in, it could also act as a GPS, and a phone (it could even play music AND had an incredible battery life span). She then moved on to her Aunt Selina's gift, finding a small purple sapphire in the shape of a cat paw, surrounded in silver. She then opened Rachel's gift, it was a travel mug that said "Coffee lives in my veins." (Marinette started drinking coffee recently) which made Marinette laugh, and then she got to Garfield's gift. When she opened it, she found a handmade charm bracelet, it had animals that she really liked around it, and there was one that was a small tiger, with it's eyes and nose having a light green peridot stone, to represent the first day they met. She put the bracelet on her right rist and thanked Garfield for it, and gave everyone a big hug.

She spent the rest of the day playing with her friends, having a wonderful time, and getting a massive sugar rush from all the cake they had. When it came time for dinner they were running low on energy, but were back to normal after Harley snuck some coffee into their food... The only thoughts that went through Garfield and Rachel's minds where "That's why Mari drinks this stuff..."

After dinner they played all kinds of video games, and ended it by watching Back To The Future. They fell asleep some time after 2am.

……… ……… …….

The next morning they all had breakfast and then spent the day playing parkour tag over roofs and playing I spy games. And at the end of the day Marinette gave her friends a big hug, before heading back home. She spent her time with her moms, Uncle, and Frank, playing more boardgames and discussing what she should do to make friends...

"Just be yawhself, we love yuh fawh who yuh are, and I'm sure everyone in Paris will love yuh too... if dey doan, den dey most likely have a massive defective reject of a brain." - Was Harley's opinion

"Riddle the f-ck out of their brain, if they can solve all of them, and like you for you, then they are worthy." - Which was Ed's opinion

"Use a chemical based compound from the magnolia flower, combined with three tulip petals, one rose petal, and pollen from a lilac to create a befriending potion." - Ivy's words made everyone silent before Ed spoke up

"... Harley if you're being mind controlled blink." - Ed deadpaned, which had Marinette cackling

"I'm not bein' mind controlled, also yuh nawhmally say ‘blink once or twice’ not just ‘blink’ I could blink at any random interval and yuh woun't know what tuh tink, and here I thoughtcha were a genius." - Harley with her head on Ivy's lap as Marinette starts wheezing.

"I think y'all broke her." - Frank just pointed to Marinette as she was still cackling and wheezing while in the fetal position.

That's when Selina walked in...

"What the hell did you guys do to Kitten?!" - Selina dropping the bags she got from some high end shop, and after they made sure Marinette was still alive they continued their game... and Marinette may have actually written the list of ingredients for that position, but only as a last resort. When it was time for them to sleep Marinette spent the night with her moms, like she use to when she was 4.

She got up early to make sure everything was ready, she had her sketch book in her backpack, as well as some pencils, ear buds, snacks and a picture of her with her family and friends. She decided to wear her new watch and charm bracelet as she finished checking her bag, she then went into the garden to say goodbye to all the plants, and to give Bud, Lou and Frank one last goodbye. She had about 3 hours before her and her Aunt were to head to the airport, and she spent that time with her moms, almost never leaving their side.

……… ……… …….

As the plane took off she looked out the airplane window, saying goodbye to Gotham, until her next visit home....

•—–·★·–—•

Chapter 3 complete, also just in case I didn't describe her B-day gifts good enough, here's what they look like (꒪꒳꒪)

Hope you're all having an amazing day, staying safe and rockin' all positive vibes,!BUG-OUT! 💮🐞💮

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[we-dragons]

I'm from a different dimension actually Chapter 7 Damian x reader

"Ira! I need my emergency kit!" Molly is pulling at my hair with a brush, I grimace at my reflection, she had put pearls and violet gems in my hair. Seeing as it already wasn't long bearly pushing past my ears, even though there aren't many of them in there it ways down in some places. I had already allowed her to put me in a ball gown, which I'm sure costs much more than my apartment building. It reminds me of peacock feathers, purples, greens, blues fill the cloth they blend seamlessly dark purple at the top and ending with blue at the bottom. I look at the matching marbled shoes and guilt climbs through me.

"Molly I don't need makeup, I'm already in a peacock dress, and there are gems in my hair. Besides the mascara is enough I don't want to spend an hour rubbing anything else off." Molly gasps, a hand gripping at her heart.

"Why-how could you say such a thing!" Ira hands Molly her phone, she screams. "We're going to be late! Ira put the bag back!" I'm yanked from my chair and raced down the hall within minutes I'm thrown into a limo with Molly's parents. Molly jumps in starting to yell at the driver shocking her parents who kept telling her to calm down. It doesn't take long to get to Wayne Manor, the courtyard is crowded filled with flashing lights from cameras reporters, and newscasts. They surrounded every inch with an exception of a semi-circle right at the front of the building where the car pulled up. Once more I'm pulled roughly out of the vehicle by molly, I nearly trip going up the stairs.

"Molly dear, we need to go in together!" My friend's mother pants from behind her husband seems to be in a similar position as me. Like mother like daughter.

I pull my arm away from Molly gently and smooth out my peacock dress, I sigh internally finding relief that I had personally told Molly to make the dress so it covered without it being tight. If I didn't then I would be pulling up the fabric like Molly who went not so modest. Not only had she blinged out she full-on black and high heels that pushed out her height. She looked good, and she made her parents match. When her mother finally catches up she puts a hand on her daughter's shoulder.

What happens after the incident leaves me at a table sitting behind a card with my name on it. Molly was seated somewhere else because I had used my own invitation instead of being a plus one. My eyes cast over the room soaking in again the decor of the newly decorated main floor. My energy seems to drain while I watch the people chat dance and laugh. No one was seated at my table and I was slightly relieved but I still felt odd. I had gone to parties with my mom in the past, ones that were held in her honor about her findings. I feel myself relishing in those memories I had looking back at the times she would pull a silly face at me while I was bored at said parties, or told a joke in some of her speeches. My mother was the expert in The Islamic Golden Era, despite not being a Muslim herself. She prided herself on giving credit to those who deserved more but had their work stolen by Europeans. But then, when she went on that Egypt and Greece dig she had found something that unnerved her. I knew what it was, and I wish I hadn't either. My happy thoughts turn sour, and I can feel myself grimace. I am tired...so tired.

"You made it, It's good to see you here." my head whips around falling on emerald eyes.

"Yeah, I had already told Molly that she could take me to the next party she goes to. However, I didn't know that if you came with an invite and not a plus one that you had to sit at a separate table." He snorts and sits down to my right.

"You were originally sat by her but father assumed I needed a friend," He shows me a card with his name on it. "so he changed Grayson out for you."

"Do you not have friends?"

"None close by."

"When have I accepted you as a friend?" He smiles

"That is a good question, but the same goes for me, you more someone I tolerate."

"Same here, Besides your a bad influence."

"tsk,...touche." his gaze looks me up and down and I have the sudden urge to say 'eyes up here'.

"You look tired, would you like to go to the library?"

"Usually libraries and tired people don't mix."

"How about a tour then, we have several artifacts my father has purchased that you might find interesting." He pushes harder.

"You want an excuse to leave, don't you? I thought my main purpose for being here was to talk to Mr.Wayne, not venture into the mansion." He sighs with his own body, visibly exaggerating the movements.

"My father is deeply preoccupied already in another engagement, he won't even be here for hours. Would you prefer to stay here doing nothing or would you like to leave?" He sounds rather annoyed while looking off to his left and scowling more. I follow my eyes to a group of three who I recognize from the cafe, all of them are pointing and smirking. I being to feel more drained at the thought of them coming here and stand. "Your home, where to first?" He shoots up, grabbing my hand dragging me through the dense crowd of people.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Amazing, this would date back to the early years of feudal Japan, this is Greek! Oh! There's a Khopesh and a Canaan Sickel sword on this wall!"

Damian scoffs sounding more like a laugh than a mocking tone. "You can tell the difference." I give him a look, feeling offended.

"Of course I can, you mostly can tell by the markings on the blade." I turn my head back to the wall slowly pointing to the distinguishable pieces of evidence. "This one is older Hebrew, and here you can see small hieroglyphics depicting the sun. Plus the metals on each blade are very different." I tilt my head back to him, his face stays indifferent. "You knew that already didn't you?" He nods and walks again.

"You must really like history, seems like you could talk about it none stop." He calls back.

"Did you forget who my mother was?"

"I thought she specialized in the Islamic golden era."

"It didn't mean she didn't know the history of other peoples. My mother developed research of anything she could get her hands on." I pause for a minute. "What about you, where did you learn."

"I was taught by some of the best in the world, my mother made sure of it."

"I see." We talk more while examining the objects displayed, I had fun just listening to him explain how his father got some of them. Though the collection wasn't huge it still made me a bit happy to see the objects. My phone buzzes, and I quickly take it out of my pocket.

Molly: Hey where are you we need to get going!

Molly: Dad got too drunk and now he's crying about the world.

Molly: We will be outside, Be there.

"Sorry, I have to get going, I'll see you at school later!" I run through the hall and snag as many macarons as I can on the way out. Molly waves from the car opening the door so I slide in faster.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Sorcerer found. Name: Doctor Fate, Subject: host"

"Anyone else?"

"Database shows,... John Constantine, and Zatanna. All other information is unavailable."

"Gather what they have on the crows send probes if you must."

"Proceeding."

Nightmare stands by the window waiting for his queue. I pull a scale out from the box and open the window. I hand him the scale and he chews effectively destroying the small miracle. "Remember stay out of sight if someone spots you wipe it from their memory and if you see a crow take the fight to the in-between and go for the kill. You have a little bit of my power with you only use it when needed." He purrs, rubbing his head on my hand, then jumps. He vanishes. I sigh putting the device in the box marked with an X just in case and push it under my bed. I head out into my living room putting some things away and cleaning here and there. Proud of my work I turn on the TV and sprawl on my sofa with a bowl of popcorn. Reruns of Highlander play on one of my favorite channels, I smile at my luck and sing to the theme song.

*Thunk thunk thunk*

I jump at the sound, I hear the noise again and follow it to my kitchen bat in hand. I flip on the light and smack my face, a very wet robin scowls at me through the glass. Only then did I notice the rain, and I pray that Nightmare is staying safe. I open the door and let him in, he mutters a thank you while walking in dipping water on my floor.

"Not to be rude, but is there something you need?" He ignores me and continues dragging water on the floor to the living room.

"Robin?" I catch up to him, he pulls something out from his ear and stuffs it in his pocket.

"I would like to stay here for a little while"

"How long is a little while, will I need to pull out the bed in the couch?" He gives me a look.

"There's a bed in your couch?"

"Sometimes I want to watch TV while I do my homework, laying down here makes it easier." I go to the bathroom to pull out some towels.

"Where was this when I was heavily injured?"

"I'm sorry, but the fact that you were bleeding was more concerning. I also put new sheets on the bed and you broke a perfectly good window. There is still blood on my cushions, and you wanted me to place you on the bed?" grabbing the biggest fluffiest towel in the bunch walking back out to the living room.

"You still on about that?"

"It was expensive!" I hold out the towel, he takes it and places his yellow cape in my hand. I frown but head to the coat rack hanging the heavy fabric on the highest rung. I feel short noticing its length, I turn back to Robin who's sat down on the couch the large towel engulfing him completely minus his hair. The black strands stuck oddly to his face and drooped sadly, I almost laugh because he looks like a sad cat. Like Nightmare whenever I give him a bath, I think I have a picture of that somewhere. "Did you want something to drink or eat?"

"Why is it that every time I come here you offer something?"

"It's a hospitality thing I got living in Minnesota, it's just being nice. Besides, you work to protect people, don't you? It only makes sense that I offer you something, I doubt you get paid to do your job. I bet you have countless scars from just doing so, I can do my part and help you feel comfortable. Call it a form of respect."

"Tsk."

I stroll into the kitchen, "Well, I suppose I could give some soda, tea, or water after all you left plenty on the floor."

"What happened to respect?"

"Well, I have feelings to sir! Tossing my words aside like that, I shouldn't even feed you." I poke my head back out, I smile at his scowl while he in turn glares at me. "Now for once, I am out of tea but I have several cans of cherry coke and some popcorn and macarons from a party I went to earlier. How about that?"

"That's fine." I hum grabbing what I needed and plopped back down in my seat handing him the coke. I place the brightly colored macarons and some chips I found between us along with the popcorn. I let myself get absorbed into the Highlander again just as MacLeod beheads another immortal and gains his Quickening.

"What is this?" My Jaw drops while I look at him concerned.

"Just how uncultured are you." His face flushes and his face twists he opens his mouth but i stop him. "Say no more, I will be right back." I come out with my computer and pull up VUDU opening season one of the show. "Sit back buckaroo, now your in for the long haul. Now right now all you need to know is 'There can only be one." His face contorts in confusion, but gives in and moves closer.

"I'm not going to get in trouble with Batman am I." He smirks.

"Most likely."

"Dammit."

[agentsoftie]

mistletoe

summary: you like him, a lot. so penny does something. something that may or may not involve mistletoe

a/n: it’s vlogmas y’all! also just act like this was uploaded on the 1st instead of the second. also, this love isn’t proof read so bare with me

pairing and word count: spencer x (f) reader & 1.6k

The day was December 1st, and in the paradise that is Virginia, that meant Holiday season. The lights were already up. And the cold air was picking up so much that one couldn't possibly go outside without wearing a coat, fearing for hyperthermia. Carolers were out around the town, singing their hearts out and freezing their hands off. Pictures With Santa was being set up in the park, and elves were practicing their dances and jingles. You could smell the cookies and the peppermint from a mile away. Christmas songs and melodies were playing all across town. And in response, all the hungover college kids were groaning and sulking all across town as they got their morning coffee and went to class.

Each radio was playing some form of holiday music instead of its general hillbilly religious crap. And you honestly didn't mind. Although, it's not like you ever bothered to turn on the radio. But today, something was different. Something had just changed. Maybe it was the fact that it was now the time for laughter and joy instead of harm. Maybe that was the change.

The cold air suddenly leaves your ears as the feeling of warmth rushes in. And to your surprise, you're greeted by a very peppy Lenny. Although, you did bring him a donut this morning, so that might have an effect. “Y/N! Good Morning!” He said as he buzzed you in. “You too Len! Hope you like the snack.” Before you could finish the question, he was half way done with his donuts. You smiled to yourself as you entered the elevator.

“Wait!” You heard someone yell as you were about to hit the button. You waited, as one does, and soon saw the figure that was running towards you clear up. “Spencer,” you breathed out as he ran in. “Y/n, hi.” He said as he was catching his breath.

You hit the button and quickly looked down, trying to avoid his gaze as much as possible. You see, you loved him. Ever since the dawn of time. Or, at least since last December. See, today, technically marks your one year anniversary since you joined the team. See, the first time you first laid eyes on him, the first time you said hello, your heart skipped a beat. The way he moved, the way he talked, just him. Him- himself, was memorizing enough. Never though. Never did you have the courage to talk or say anything to him. The team always noticed, but they never said anything, saying as you got along with them all great.

As soon as the elevator opened you ran for the two glass doors… As subtly as possible. The office smelt like peppermint and hot chocolate, and there was only one possible reason for that. Penelope.

“Good morning my lovely little love birds!”

You both stopped in your steps and looked at each other dead in the eye. “You guys, I’m joking, come on.” You both chuckled awkwardly and he quickly sprinted to his desk as you but your coffee on your desk.

“Like what you’ve done with the place Nel. Quite nice if I say so.”

She set a stack of piles on the desk, and straightened your hair.“You better like it. I stayed till like 10 getting everything ready and paid Lenny 20 dollars to help me set up half of these things.”

“Sucks that it’s gonna be down by mid January.” You say as you take some files off.

“Ooooh, yeah no, that’s not gonna happen.”

“Hey Nel, these aren't files.” You say as you give her the file you were looking at and picked through the other ones. Just to find that they weren't files either.

“Oh! Look at that! I never even noticed,” she said as she straightened her pasture. Spencer looked over to see what the commotion was about, but you tried not to pay attention.

“Spencer, would you come here please!”

You looked at Penelope and cursed in every single language you knew, and that was including ALS. She was the only one at the BAU who knew about your crush on Spencer. Since she was the reason you ever even wanted, or considered joining the BAU.

He got up and walked to your desk as you tried to look busy.

“What’s up Pen?” He said as he put his hand on your desk.

“I need you and Y/N to do something for me.” You looked shocked, but luckily, Spencer didn't see anything. “Can you please go down and do a few errands for me. Or well, for us.”

“Will we get paid?” You asked, she nonned.

“Is Hotch okay with this?” He asked, she, again, nodded. “Alright then, just text us what you need.” He said as he grabbed your hand and walked towards the door. You quickly grabbed your phone and wallet and pulled yourself forward. Your cheeks were rosy red. Or, as red as they could be, so you kept your head high. Although that probably doesn't work in your favor when you will be stuck with him the entire day.

“Okay, first of all, fresh roses.”

“Oooh, I know a great little flower shop. It’s by the bakery near Santa’s Little Shop.”

“Where?”

“It’s by my house here I’ll-”

“Got it.” He said as he cut you off. You wanted to ask him how he knew where you lived, but then you figured that before you came, he went over you and your file like 50 times. Or with him, most likely one.”

You looked out the window as snow fell down to the ground. It was a light snow, nothing big, nothing new. It was the type of snow where you could build a snowman, but it might take an eternity. He drove slowly and carefully turning on the radio to find The Beatles playing.

“Here we go.” He said as Blackbird was dying down in the background.

“Perfect.”

You both got out of the car and looked around. Some things just never change. Even when you’re off of work.

“Hi! Welcome!”

“Hey Blair! Where are all or your red, white, and green flowers?”

“That’s… oddly specific.” She spoke as she got up from behind the counter.

“Work.”

“Uh-huh, sure. Whatever you say… Well okay, here we have our roses, a staple piece. Then, some white roses, another staple piece. And Finally, green roses!”

You smiled a little. It was small, but she saw it. “I think Y/N’s looking for something more festive? Like… these poinsettia’s!” Spencer said as he walked around the store/

“I’ll take the roses, all three colors, and the poinsettia’s please.”

She rang up the total and you were gonna give her your credit card, but he beat you too it.”Spence…” You trailed “Y/N don't.”

You grabbed the flowers and so did he. He opened the car and as soon as you got it, the conversation picked up once more. “You know, you never had to do that.”

“I wanted to.”

“Okay well so did I.”

“Well I did it first.”

“What are you, five?”

“Is that supposed to mean something Y/N?” He said as he looked over at you.

“Ehh ehh, eyes the road!” You said as you snapped at the road.

He simply laughed as he looked back. “Okay, Now the coffee shop. She said that we need fresh treats since some of the kids are coming over tonight.”

“What’s tonight?” You asked as you looked around at the white ground. This was the first time in a while, or maybe in forever that you were having a normal and fluent conversation with him. It’s always, “Hi Spencer *runs away” or “Hey, *dies inside*” BUt this, this was different. This was fun. This was something you could get used to.

“Remember the office party.”

“Fuck… Yeah I forgot.”

“Ehh don't worry, so did I. But I think I’m just gonna stay home and re-read something.”

“Weirdo,” you said as you ran your fingers through his hair and messed it up. Somehow, just somehow, your heart wasn't beating 20 times fast almost causing you to fall dead on the spot. But instead you were just having fun and laughing. With Spencer. Spencer Reid. Dr. Spencer Reid. Someone you’ve had a crush on for a year.

“Do you like the Holidays?”

“Yeah, of course. I mean, it was the only holiday that I looked forward to when I was a child. Still now too I guess. Which is highly concerning, but we’re not gonna talk about that.”

He chuckled. “You’re funny Y/N,”

“I know.” You said as you smirked.

You looked around at everything that was going on. Kids running around and people drinking hot chocolate. Other people watching the carolers sing, and others kissing under the mistletoe. One person though couldn't stop staring. They couldn't stop staring at you. They looked at your magnificent hair and melted. They looked into your eyes and watched them shine. And heard a baby laugh for the first time every time you talked or laughed.

“What about you Spence?”

“Huh?”

“You like the holidays?”

“Yeah,”

“Well, why?”

“Why what?”

“Why do you like the holidays?”

“Because of mistletoe,”

“Because of what?”

You were cut off by his hand cuffing your face. I took you a moment to realize what was happening, but once you did, you melted in. You put your hands in his hair and pulled a little. The kiss was aggressive for a public kiss but you soon eased it up due to the fact that this was happening in public. You broke apart due to the fact that breathing exists. And smiled into each other's lips.

“I said… because of mistletoe.”

“Screw you Spencer Reid.”

“You wish.”

“Really, cuz that didn't look like it.”

“You kissed back.”

“By default,”

tagging; @criminalmindsmoodrn​, @marshmallowtraver​, @ghostly-angelic​, @himarisolace​

moot tags: (sorry if this annoys you) @blakeprentiss​, @lizziechase​, @goldenxreid​

[terrm9]

after all that i’ve done (Tatum x Lina)

This is officially part 2 of you give it to me anyway; however it’s perfectly readable as a one-shot, too.

WC: 4.4k, Rating: M (mature)

Warnings: swearing, mentions of army injury, alcohol & drug consumption, sex - only talking about these things, nothing graphic.

Author’s note: As expected, this doesn’t meet my writing goals at all. I got tired of looking at it, though, so here it is. Thank you so so much for reading and leaving a feedback, it means the whole world to me <3

Five weeks.

Five weeks of separation, five weeks filled with texts and phone calls and face-times and there was also a letter waiting on Lina’s bed one day – for old times‘ sake, Tatum joked.

And Lina has never been a patient woman, no. She hated those five weeks, in all her honesty.

(We managed five years, I can handle five weeks, she has been telling herself on repeat.)

The five weeks have passes. Lina’s year at Vancross was over. Election has been won.

She is home, at last. Home in Rutherland. Home in Mendozas‘ living room, Tatum’s arm wrapped around her shoulders and her own around his waist.

Leaning into his side and blushing under the attention she is getting from Mr. Mendoza, she is home.

(At last.)

„Lina!“ Tatum’s dad beams at her, a smile so wide she is sure his cheeks hurt. Where is all that Tatum’s stoicism coming from, she wonders (and then she remembers, those damn five years. Tatum used to be a perfect picture of his father – huge smiles and carefree laughters; there is nothing inherited in who he is now. He has become who he is in those five years.)

„It’s so amazing to see you again,“ Mr. Mendoza – Jerome, he insists – breaks her out of own mind. „Tatum couldn’t stop talking about you these past few weeks. It’s been Lina here and Lina there and ‚I wonder what Lina is doing‘ and-„

„Okay, dad, I am sure she gets it,“ Tatum interrupts, his voice carrying tracks of annoyance, but Lina knows it’s not really there. She has never seen a relationship more beautiful, more pure than the one between Tatum and his dad.

When Lina looks up at him, expression amused and an eyebrow raised, Tatum simply shrugs – he will not deny that he missed her. He will not support his dad’s teasing, either.

„Thank you, Jerome,“ she smiles back, probably just as widely. „I am more than happy to be back home.“

Tatum picked her up at the airport and Lina didn’t even consider going to her mother’s house. Without any conversation, they both knew she would be staying at Mendozas for some time.

She would be staying home.

„Well, I will leave you kids to it,“ Jerome winks at them and this time, Tatum does look slightly uncomfortable. „I promised Victoria I would help Josh with the nursery for the little one. Don’t wait for me with the dinner!“ He winks again and the suggestion behind his words is more than clear. Tatum’s hand twitches at Lina’s shoulder as he mutters under his breath.

„For the love of God, just go, dad.“

Lina is trying very hard not to think about what is happening. About how she is taking the stairs to walk into Tatum’s room – the room she hasn’t been to in six years. About how Tatum’s shoulders are tense under his tight black t-shirt, even though he is smiling softly at her as he opens the door.

About how this is all so well-known to her and yet so fucking different.

About the conversation they are inevitably having today. She is trying very, very hard not to think about that.

It takes several seconds for Lina to take the room in – to compare her memories to the present moment, to remember if the walls have always been this shade of gray and that there was definitely not a king-sized bed in teenage Tatum’s room.

"Ah," she can't help but grin as she spots the blank space above the bed.

"Where has the Emma Watson poster gone?"

Even though Tatum's face remains stoic, Lina catches a glimpse of amusement in his eyes.

"Dad turned this room into the one for visitors while I was gone," he replies shrugging. "I didn't think it would be, uh, appropriate to have the poster here."

Nodding, Lina takes the room further in and her breath hitches in her throat as she notices things that haven't changed, haven't been removed. The photo of the two of them from Tatum's eighteenth birthday party on a bedside table. The Valentine's Day card Lina made for him in the kindergarten pinned above his writing desk. The elegant black box sitting on the desk and she knows it's filled with the cinema tickets and concert tickets and the little notes Lina left from him in the books he has borrowed her. The ugliest mug ever made proudly displayed on a windowsill - Lina promised to bring him the ugliest souvenire from her trip to Prague and she came back with the mug. Photo of Lina in a long summer dress taken only a few days before Tatum left Rutherland, on a dresser (although it looks slightly rumpled and with a swell of her heart Lina wonders if maybe he had had this photo in his wallet while he was away, close to him at all times?)

"And these," she gestures around the room, "are not inappropriate?"

"Never," he doesn't miss a beat.

In two long strides, he closes the gap between them and taker her face into his hands, eyes full of that tenderness that scares her, full of affection and also, she notices, full of need.

„Lina,“ he whispers as he scans her face and Lina is not sure what he is trying to say – his eyes, God, those eyes, so beautiful, so breathtaking, screaming many things at once and Lina can only guess.

I missed you. I am so happy you are finally with me. I am, at last, at peace. I love you with my whole being and then some more.

All the things she feels within herself. All the things she is, just like him, not capable of saying. Neither of them has ever been a master of words. Of course, it has always been easy to talk to Tatum about others, about life, about nothing in particular.

But to talk to Tatum about Tatum?

(To talk to Lina about Lina?)

That’s... hard. Difficult. So easy to fuck up.

So she kisses him. Pulls him closer and covers his mouth with hers, pouring all that is unspoken into that kiss, hoping it could be enough.

(It is. It always is.)

Five weeks is a long time for everyone. It’s been fucking long time for Lina and Tatum.

The kisses are hungry, desperate, full of need and catching up, making up for the lost time – it would be so easy, so damn easy to just take his clothes off, to let him take hers off and then just have him take her.

So damn easy.

Lina knows he would do it, his higher principles be damned because the heat radiating from his body, the low rumble coming from the back of his throat, his hands caressing her torso – all a proof that he is just a man, that he wants her.

Tatum would do everything – anything – for Lina. He once told her he would die for her – and what a cliché, used by many, sung by rockstars and written down by poets, I would die for you, a confession or perhaps a promise, whispered freely by millions but meant scarcely by dozens.

Lina knows he means it. He would give up all his breaths for her.

(As she would for him. She decided to live for him, after all, and maybe that’s even more severe.)

And it’s so tempting she almost takes it, takes him-

It's the first time with you. (Spoken five weeks ago and still echoing in her head, those gentle words of his, for fuck’s sake)

- she can’t.

God, how she wants to forget what has been and what will be and just let them enjoy the moment of all that is physical and beautiful and easy - nothing that is their reality, has been for years, hard and ugly.

“We need to talk,” she whispers and she hates how her voice trembles already, trembles with all those wrong, dreadful emotions.

A long exhale leaves Tatum and he closes his eyes before nodding – and if he was tense before, he is statue-like now, the only movement are his hands, hugging Lina more tightly.

“Yes,” he says quietly and leads her to his bed, a habit older than Lina can remember – serious talks need to be taken to bed, they used to joke. Sitting next to each other, backs leaned against the wall behind them (knee to knee, shoulder to shoulder), Lina looks into his eyes briefly and murmurs: “Could you go first, please?”

There is no need to particularize what is this talk going to be about – two people that shared everything, two people who have been through most of that everything together, being separated for five years, well, that’s a lot of catching up to do.

And while they have gotten to the talks about Lina’s school and Tatum’s time in army already, while she already knows about the injury that made him leave and he already knows about all the fights she has had with her mother and how it all led to her year at Vancross, they have successfully avoided talking about the people they met in those years apart, until now.

There has been no talk about the relationships and as curious as Lina has been, she never dared to ask about Tatum’s sex life. He is her best friend, though. First and foremost, he is her best friend and she knows about the first girl he kissed and the first girl he has bought flowers for and the first one he invited for a date.

“It was not long after I joined army that I met Cara,” Tatum speaks, taking Lina’s hand into his own, fingers intertwined. “She was a cousin of a fellow soldier and lived in a town nearest to our base. She came to visit him fairly often and she was impossible not to notice,” he chuckles quietly. “So loud and cheery and full of joy. Everyone was excited to see her after some time. She brought life to the people that mostly talked about death. She never hesitated to show me that she likes me. And you know, at army, dating is anything but easy – but Cara was understanding. So we started dating after five months.”

His voice is soft when he tells her all of it (so freely, so naturally, and Lina wishes her story – her stories – could be that easy to tell, too), as is his smile. No matter what has gone down between Tatum and Cara, there is no grudge he is holding, not a sign of hatred. And maybe Lina should feel jealous, maybe there should be a pang of something inside her ribs, something uncomfortable. There’s nothing.

If anything, she is grateful that Tatum had someone he could rely on for all those years. Grateful that Cara had been there to look after him at times Lina couldn’t.

„She was always so,“ he hums for a moment. „So happy. It didn’t take long for me to understand that the happy face, the loud laughter, that those things were her cover up for something terrible, something that was making her miserable. But she never wanted to talk about it and so I didn’t ask. As she didn’t ask in return.“

Tatum’s head bumps into the wall softly, too and his gaze is on a ceiling when he speaks again.

„She was a good girl. And the relationship was... nice. Easy. We made sure it would stay easy. And in that easiness, it lacked depth. I have never gotten to know her better and she has never gotten to know me.“

A long silence follows and Lina wonders if she should ask more, if she should interrupt his thread of thoughts. Before she can say anything, Tatum speaks again and this time, his voice is filled with regret.

„She had your hair.“

She reminded me of you, is what he is not saying.

„How long did the relationship last?“ Lina asks when the silence gets too thick, too uncomfortable.

„Three years and something.“

„You broke up when you had to leave army?“ she prompts softly, curiosity getting the best of her.

Tatum shakes his head before looking down at Lina and responding.

„No, we ended it before the injury happened. She found the photo of you in my wallet one day, after the discussion about my driving license – she needed to see the thing herself and as she opened the wallet, the first thing she saw was, well... you. She asked me ‚So this is the girl you are trying to forget?‘. After my initial surprise, I only said that you are my best friend.“

Breaking the eye contact, he looks ahead before finishing the story.

„‘The best friend you are in love with?‘, she asked again and it was the first time someone said that aloud. I couldn’t lie to her, not when she asked so directly. She said she understood and you know what Lina? I think she really did. I never found out who was she trying to forget, but she did understand me.“

„And after Cara?“ Lina asks, even though she is afraid she knows her answer.

„After Cara, there was nobody.“

„Are you-,“ she takes a deep breath to calm down her rapidly beating heart. „Do you really mean that you only slept with Cara? Ever?“

Tatum laughs at that, squeezing Lina’s hand. „Life in army – or healing after the injury you have gotten there – do not exactly give you opportunities to get laid, galyetas.“

„Oh,“ is all Lina manages to breathe out. „Oh.“

Oh, shit. Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

This is her worst nightmare. This is worse than anything she feared.

Lina feels Tatum’s gaze on her, an unspoken ‚It’s your turn‘ hanging between them but she cannot, she cannot.

She feels like throwing up and crying at the same time and she cannot do this, she must run and run and run until she cannot catch her breath and never return because Tatum, her Tatum, deserves everything and she can give him nothing.

Not daring to look at Tatum, Lina tries to take a deep breath – to take any breath (and it feels like she has done the running already, she ran away and yet here she is, next to the man she loves, next to the man she is going to destroy.)

"You know you don't have to tell me anything, Lina," Tatum whispers, his knuckles caressing Lina's colarbone softly - a touch featherlight, almost too tender to bear.

And she needs to take another deep breath, the fire inside her blazing sedulously (painfully. It hurts to burn for Tatum, it pains as much as it pleases).

It all feels too much – his touch, his presence too good, too terrific; it feels like a dream.

(One she will soon turn into a nightmare)

„No, I do,“ she chokes out at last and finally looks into his eyes, forcing her memory to capture them fully – the chocolate brown of his irises with the specks of deep green in them, the dilated pupils and that damn warmth seeping from them, all those emotions. His eyes are smiling at her, eyes loving and caring and once she tells him everything, all of that love and care and smile will be gone and she begs her memory to remember Tatum’s eyes.

She begs her memory to forget everything but Tatum’s eyes (beautiful and breathtaking)

„I missed you,“ she begins. „I missed you like hell, Tatum, From the moment you were gone, it hurt. And I needed to find some kind of distraction, something to fill my mind with. The letters were not enough sometimes.“

Her voice is so apologetic, cracking after every other word and she hates it, hates how it sounds, hates how it is certainly telling Tatum where this is going, already.

“It was…” she stops and shrugs, trying so desperately to find the right words - which is ironic, really, as there are hardly any right words for this. “Manageable, that first year. I got drunk or high - sometimes both - went home, reread your latest letter and cried myself to sleep.”

Determined to look straight ahead of herself, Lina doesn’t see Tatum’s intense gaze on her. She feels it, however. (She always feels him, no matter her senses.)

She also hears his faint scoff.

Manageable has probably not been the most right choice of a word, then.

Then again, she has never done this before. Has never spoken about those years without Tatum to anyone.

Years of loneliness she decided to fill.

(Needed to fill, so desperately.)

Years of self-hatred that still lingers.

„The letters stopped coming, then,“ she whispers and even though she knows now why, she knows about her mother contacting Tatum only to ask him to stop sending them because it’s ‚too hurtful‘ for Lina; even though she knows all of it, she cannot keep the hurt from her voice.

„It was maybe three or four months after the last letter that it began to dawn on me, that another one is not coming. I was at this party and the first time, it was not planned, not intentional. It just... happened. I was getting drunk and ready to go home to reread the letter when it hit me, you know?“ she gulps and blinks several times to keep the tears from falling. „It hit me that I do not have anything to reread. And the guy was there, buying me drinks the whole night and he told me about his hotel room. So I went.“

Now, she needs to squeeze her eyes shut and the tears do fall and she hates them, hates herself, hates the past. But the dam has been broken and words are flowing out of her and she needs to tell Tatum everything, even if it is the last thing she will ever tell him.

„I do not remember his name and I do not remember what he looked like. I only remember that I hated every second of the sex, but the feeling of hating something else than the emptiness in me was strong enough for me to keep doing this. The second time, I planned it. And the third and every single one after that. I do not know who those people were, Tatum,“ she whispers and it scares her how still Tatum is, his hand still in hers but unmoving. There’s no reassuring squeezing.

(It’s what she deserves.)

„I never asked about their names and I never gave away mine. It happened every other week – I went to the city, got drunk, got fucked, went home. One time, paparazzi caught me kissing a woman in a bar and of course, the next day the picture was all over the magazines. My mother took a flight back home, then and I thought that maybe she would ask me what was going on, that maybe she would care. She tossed a bag my way, filled with wigs and contact lenses and told me that if I want to ruin my life, I need to make sure it doesn’t ruin her career, too. Then she left.“

Annie – Lina’s only female friend before Dionne – always used to say that what Lina is doing is a perfect example of post-breakup behavior. It never made sense to Lina. There was never a relationship. There was no breakup. She was just lonely and wanted some company.

It makes sense to her, now. She knows now that she loves Tatum in a way that is far from friendly and she knows now that she felt that way all those years ago, too. Back then, she would never admit that.

But Lina knows now. Her best friend, the closest person she has ever had, the person she’s been in love with left and Christ, that hurt more than a breakup.

„I do not know how many men I slept with, how many women. I never counted. The only thing I know that I never enjoyed the sex, not once,“ Lina scoffs and then muses, more to herself than Tatum. „Sometimes I wonder if I am even capable of that. Enjoying sex. Not that it matters,“ she adds in a rushed voice, because truly, her selfish wonder about her selfish sex life is not something that matters at the moment.

„I hate that it was that way, Tatum, I hate everything about those years you were gone. Most of all, I hate myself. But I cannot take that back. Those things are part of me now, no matter how hideous that part is.“

Silence. Long, terrible silence.

„What was the last time?“ Tatum asks suddenly and his voice is hollow, emotionless, so awfully neutral.

„Three weeks before Vancross? Maybe a month?“

This time when Tatum speaks, the emotions are clear in his voice – surprise, most of them all.

„And nobody after that? Nobody at Vancross?“

„Of course not!“ Lina exclaims, more loudly than intended – she still doesn’t look at him, though. „I was... There was no need-„ she bites her lower lip, trying to find the right words. She decides on the truth, in the end. „You were there with me. I was not lonely anymore. Not empty.“

There is a long silence, thick and suffocating and Lina feels like choking, drowning, this is the end, she thinks. She cannot meet Tatum's eyes, the fear of what she might find in them too tremendous - hate, disgust or perhaps resentment?

(All the things she would find in her own eyes, did she look in the mirror now)

And she deserves that look - the look that will crush her and destroy everything that is (was) between them; she deserves so much worse, she knows, but it doesn't make it any easier to open her damn eyes and look at him.

Taking a deep breath through her nose, Lina braces herself to face the reality, squeezing her eyes shut even more tightly, as if the counter movement of the one that is her goal could miraculously encourage her to do it and-

"I am sorry I was not there," she hears Tatum's whisper, the sound full of pain and regret and her eyes snap open without any forcible impulse sent by her brain.

What the fuck is the first reaction she manages to get out of herself.

„I should’ve fought harder for us,“ he adds and tugs her hand, forcing her to – fucking finally – look at him. „I should have been there, one way or another.“

„For fuck‘s sake, Tatum,“ Lina snaps and stands up, not able to sit calmly. „Stop this. Just...just stop this, okay? You cannot be sorry. You need to hate me, resent me. I screwed everything up. Be angry or something.“

„Lina,“ he whispers softly for what must be the eighth time that day and stands up too, cupping her cheek softly, gently enough for her to break free if that’s what she wants. „As if I could ever hate you.“

Lina’s heart breaks at those words. She is sure it does, she can feel the sharp pain in her chest and it must be that, right? Tears are threatening to fall once again and her hands are trembling and Tatum just stands there, thumb tracing her cheekbone tenderly, looking at her, waiting.

Patiently, calmly. Waiting. As he always is.

„You should,“ she whispers at the very same moment the first tear fall down, at the very moment a sob leaves her mouth. „You need to. I am not the Lina I used to be, Tatum. I am not a good person. I am all those terrible things that you are not and I can only cause you hurt. Please, Tatum, for your own sake just... please, just hate me.“

Tatum bows his head down, his lips – warm, soft, gentle – touching her cheek, kissing the tears away.

Lina’s heart keeps breaking.

„I know who you are, Lina girl. I see you as you are.“

Another kiss on the other cheek.

„It’s the past. Past that has not been easy for either of us. But it’s gone. We have each other now and I will have you for as long as you will have me.“

„But-„ she protests, only for Tatum’s thumb on her lips to stop her.

„You are not what you have done. You are not what happened to you. You are my best friend. My Lina. My galyetas. You are still the very same Lina that created the Valentine’s Day card for me at the age of five because you were worried I wouldn’t get a card from anyone else.“

They both chuckle at the memory – the bastard got eight – eight! – Valentine’s Day cards that year.

„You are still the Lina that alarmed her mother and all the assistants on the President tour because you needed to get back to Rutherland immediately – because it was the first Mother’s Day without my mom and you knew I would be miserable.“

Well, yeah, her mother was not overly happy when she had to pay for the private jet that took Lina back home. Immediately.

Tatum’s hand traces her jawline, falling down on her neck, her shoulder, her exposed collarbone until it lands on her chest, until Lina’s heart beats under it.

„You are the Lina I grew up with. You are my best friend. You are the most important person in my life and that cannot be changed. I know who you are. I see you as you are, I see you as the beautiful, loving, compassionate Lina you are and it hurts me to know that you cannot see yourself that way.“

Another sobs escapes Lina and she feels dizzy, heart beating rapidly, head underwater.

(How is she supposed to deal with this? With him and with herself?)

„I will make sure to remind you,“ Tatum whispers into her ear, kissing her earlobe there and again, Lina has no idea what to say. Again, she acts instead.

She kisses him, a deep, slow kiss and here it is again, that hope that it’s enough.

(It is. It always is.)

*** ***

Thank you so much for reading, again! I am already working on the third part in which these two finally get to the banging so I hope you won't get tired of them just yet

[liibrii]

Chapter 1: Still the same

Ojiro Aran x fem!reader

Synopsis: In Aran's eyes you've always been someone he could lean onto. Before you lost touch after graduating that was. Now that you've found a way back into his life, cracking under the weight of the world, he's determined to be there for you as you were for him. It really is only the question of time before he falls in love with you again but he soon starts to realise he might not know you all that well to begin with...

Genre: hurt/comfort, angst, slow burn, friends to lovers

Warnings: timeskip spoilers, internalised guilt and shame, intrusive thoughts, self doubt, depression, anxiety, swearing, use of alcohol

wc: 3.1k

a/n: if you wanna be tagged lemme know. as always feedback is greatly appreciated!  a big thanks to @rosecaffelatte​ for the help with header and dividers!

“I dig the new look. But why just the beard, why not grow some nice moustache too? You could twirl them during matches. Like some super volleyball villain.“

Aran's coffee goes down the wrong pipe. “Is that how ya see me?” he asks during coughs.

Years later and your laughter still sounds the same. Warmth spreading through him is still the same. It's been a few months since you moved to Tokyo to finish your degree. “Better late than never, right?“ you told him the first time you got coffee together. An unfamiliar bitterness laced your voice then.

“Me? No. But the opponent might.“ You add some sugar to your cup before making a sip. Aran remembers seeing your favourite drink on the menu and wonders why you ordered something else. Maybe you just don't like it anymore. It has been some time since he last saw you.

Almost four years to be exact. Has it really been that long? He remembers the reunion as if it happened yesterday and graduation only a day before.

“We're graduating in a few days so I made you all a little something.“ You pulled neatly wrapped gifts from your bag. “Don't look so suspicious.“Seeing team's faces made you scrunch up your nose. “It's just a framed picture.“

You made one for everyone, even the first years who were merely bench warmers. It's the picture of the entire team taken after you returned from your last nationals. Aran remembers vividly how insistent you were on hanging team banner in the background. 'We don't need memories.' “But I sure do,“ you joked.

There's a hand written message on the back side. A different note for every single member.

“Take that 'Tsumu!“ shouted Osamu back then and pushed his frame under Atsumu's nose, “Look here, 'Don't tell 'Tsumu but yer my favourite twin!'“

Atsumu sneered at his brother: “What're ya talkin' about? 'Tsum-Tsum yer on the way of becomin' the best setter the world has ever known. And don't tell 'Samu but yer my favourite twin!' Take that ya pig!“

Aran laughed with the rest of the team. How typical that you would play twins against each other to create chaos. 'Aran,' his note read, 'don't forget to stretch properly after practice! And please, never sprain your ankle during matches. World doesn't have to know all your socks have holes in them.'

The first time he noticed your absence in his life was only months after graduating. The volleyball club manager who yelled at the cheering squad in front of the entire gymnasium for making a first year cry during a practice match. Fearless.

You were there when he needed someone to lean onto. With a snack and a sports drink, staying late just to make sure he didn't go overboard with practice. A light slap on his shoulders when he was wallowing in self doubt. On the days it got especially bad you pulled a pack of ritz crackers from your secret stash of snacks and bought him a drink on the way home. Sometimes you'd sit on the stone fence by the crossroad where your path home diverged, gossiping for hours about your classmates and teachers. Aran found it so easy to tell you all the trouble weighing on his mind. Be it about school or volleyball, you listened. Even when he knew he was talking nonsense, even when he knew his worries were just unfounded doubts you listened.

“Better to try and fail than to never try at all,“ you once told him.

Aran's lips curved into a small smile. “Where did ya read that? Some ancient philosopher?“

“No, it's a song.“ You pulled out your phone from the pocket and offered him a headphone. “Wanna listen to it?“

It really was no surprise he fell in love with you.

But he never spoke of how his breath caught in his throat, how his heart pounded whenever you were around. How could he when he had always known that look of pure love and adoration in your eyes would never be meant for him?

How could it be when you were so obviously in love with Kita?

No matter how much his heart ached for you he had to admit you and Kita were a match made in heaven. Years later and he still remembers the pictures in your room, you and Kita aged five or so holding hands, bruised knees and dirty cheeks, you and Kita on your first day of elementary school, you and Kita graduating Middle school. You and Kita joining volleyball club together. You and Kita locking pinkies on the way home. You and Kita. Always you and Kita.

He was so jealous back then. It drained so much of his energy trying to prevent the sneering beast from taking over. So much suppressed emotions trying to protect the friendship he to this day holds so dear. But no matter what he did he couldn't prevent his insides clenching every time you took Kita's hand. Well, why did he even expect you'd chose anyone but him? You've known him your entire life. Kita was your best friend from before either of you even knew what that meant. He understood you better than anyone. Why would you ever choose anyone but him?

For years you were happy and for years Aran believed he had moved on. Once in passing Kita even bashfully mentioned marriage. Aran congratulated his friend, even looked at engagement rings with him. That night he cam home and collapsed on the bed dazed from emotions erupting back to the surface. In his lonely, empty apartment he cried his eyes out. Never before had he been so angry at himself. He believed he was over you. And with one single sentence from Kita vines carrying your name sprouted thorns and pierced his heart.

He was a terrible friend, wasn't he? Perhaps this was his punishment for wishing you were in his arms instead. You are happy, right? So why can't that be enough? Even if it's with someone else, if he really loved you then knowing you are happy should be all that matters, right?

You were happy. Until you weren't. Aran was never glad to learn you and Kita broke up. But he wasn't sad either.

“I always thought ya and Shinsuke were gonna be it.“

Warm sunlight dances over your face. You stare out the window, the gaze of your eyes sorrowful. Aran doesn't remember ever seeing you sad. You've always been the happy one, the one capable of lifting others' spirits no matter how bad it was.

You stir your drink. “I thought so too.“ When you lean back your eyes still search for something in the street. “But that's how it goes you know, sooner or later you realise you've been wrong. One way or another.“

You're trying to sound carefree and Aran's heart cracks a little. Why are you trying so hard to conceal the pain? Don't you trust him?

You are still his friend. He's starting to think that maybe... Maybe he isn't yours anymore. He shouldn't have brought up Kita. Idiot.

“Our semi-final match is next week. Ya comin'?“

Before you answer a small voice chimes in. “Uhm, excuse me? Ojiro-san?“ The boy's eyes sparkle with excitement as he asks for an autograph and a picture and Aran's more than happy to oblige. Two other kids show up and then their parents and some of the guests who had been throwing glances at your table for some time. Aran takes his time taking pictures and exchanging pleasantries. Meeting fans is the one aspect of being a renown athlete he likes.

When he turns back at you there's a fond smile on your face. “Remember those times when you thought you had no future in volleyball because you didn't get invited to youth training camp?“ Your voice softens. “Look at you now. Ojiro Aran, outside hitter of Japan's National Team.“

The light trace of pride in your voice makes his face heat up. “I was lucky to have friends who believed in me.“

“True. I better get going, my shift stars in an hour.“ You stand up and collect your things. “Talk to you later!“

What little of time you spent together always seemed to fly past too rapidly. Aran watches through the window as you hurry down the street. His coffee has gotten cold.

His spike wins them the semi-finals. In the eruption of cheering he can't hear your voice but he does see you bouncing on your heels right beside his family. You're wearing his jersey. Not a replica, it's the same jersey he wore the last season. You jumped from happiness when you opened the present. One more for your small collection of former teammates' jerseys.

Aran beams and waves in your direction. If he could he'd run over to hug and spin you around just like he used to do back in high school but he's called away. By the time interviews are over you're long gone. A part of him really hoped you would wait for him. Just like you did back in high school. All there is is a message telling him he was amazing and you're proud of him. His heart swells and for the rest of the day nothing can wipe the wide grin off of his face.

At the after party alcohol runs in rivers. Since there's no practice scheduled for tomorrow his teammates go wild. Aran downs his fifth or sixth shot having lost count a while ago. He's warm and giddy, from the victory, the alcohol, the girl on his lap running her hands up and down his chest. What was her name again? She pulls him to the dance floor, her hair is the same colour as yours and her body feels so nice against his... She looks at him funny when he calls her your name. He gets lost in the blasting music and dim lights, the haze of all the drinks and the arm around his waist.

The sound of the alarm clock might as well be a sack of rocks someone dumped on his head. Even still half asleep the blunt throbbing in his head is becoming unbearable. He wraps himself tighter with the thin blanket. Futon beneath shifts as someone climbs over him.

Or perhaps he's just dreaming.

When the second alarm rings Aran's eyes begrudgingly flutter open. He struggles to pick up the phone trying to hit that snooze button. He rubs the sleep off his eyes. That's not his phone.

The alarm is still ringing. Oh, he's going to have one hell of a headache today. His fingers shake when he finally finds the 'stop' button. For a few moments he lies motionless though the pounding of his heart rings in his ears. Last night is a haze of disconnected voices and pictures. The futon beneath him is too small to be his and he doesn't recognise the pattern of the sheets either. He probably slept with some girl from the party. Better get up and get the awkward 'morning after' conversation over with.

Sitting up he discovers all his clothes are still on. The room doesn't look familiar, yet the smell... There's something homey and intoxicating about it.

Standing up is a feat on its own. He's dizzy from the sleep and the alcohol and has to grab the edge of the desk to steady himself. He closes his eyes and waits for dizziness to pass. In the weak morning sunlight sipping through the window he notices books and pencils strewn all over. There's a framed picture on the window ledge. It takes a moment for him to recognise it.

Last year of high school, the last trip to the beach you made together. Akagi is giving you a piggy-back ride, Omimi holds both of your popsicles with a fond look on his face. Aran stands beside him, carrying the inflatable ring you guys later accidentally popped on a rock, and on the edge of the group is Kita. His face is covered with a post-it note.

Sudden sickness twists his stomach and it's not just too much alcohol to blame. He slides open the door and looks around before walking down a short hallway to the kitchen. You're just packing your bag. “Look who woke up from his beauty sleep. Want some breakfast?“

“Bathroom,“ is all he manages to utter.

“Last door on the right.“

He finds it not a moment too early. How embarrassing, to be throwing up at your place. He feels your hands rub soothing circles on his back as he leans over the toilet. Once his stomach settles down you hand him a glass of water and some headache medicine. His head is spinning. When he finally collects himself enough to stand up on his own you hand him a new toothbrush. “I gotta go in a few minutes. Professor doesn't like us being late.“

“What happened?“ His voice is hoarse.

“You had a drink too much Mr. Lightweight,“ you say with a loop sided grin. “A girl form the party called me in the middle of the night asking for someone to pick you up. It's a good thing she did cause everyone was so drunk they couldn't stand straight. You guys really did take celebrating to a whole new level. I did take you to your place but when we got there your keys were gone. So might want to look into that. Also I'm pretty sure I strained a muscle dragging you up the stairs.“ You glimpse over to the clock on the wall. “Listen, I really have to go. My roommate'll be home all day so you can stay if you want. And when you get hungry just take something from the fridge. You gonna be alright?“

Aran nods. Fuck, even that hurts. “Need to sleep it off,“ he mumbles.

You give him one more pat on the back before you leave. He struggles for a while trying to unscrew the tube of toothpaste. Never before has brushing teeth posed such a challenge. He washes his face with ice cold water that does nothing to improve the headache or his mood.

He collapses back on your futon. So, this is your room then. It's nothing like the one he remembers from back home. The Vabo-chan plushie team gifted you for your birthday lies on the pillow. It still holds the ball Omimi made at the last moment, not that he was the one given this task in the first place. It was meant as a joke yet you brought it with you to Tokyo. Aran snuggles it, noticing how pale and worn out it's becoming. He drifts back to sleep, thinking he should tell the others you still have it. They'll be glad to hear it.

No matter how hard Aran tries to pay you back the money for the taxi ride from the party you refuse. The only payment you're prepared to accept is a trip to the seaside. The moment you see the endless blue water you run closer, discarding your shoes on the beach. Seeing you splash around in the shallow water makes him laugh.

He lays out the blanket and watches over you. It's good seeing the exhaustion on your face being washed away. Even if you didn't complain at all and said nothing he could tell balancing college and work is taking its toll. Despite smiling and appearing as carefree as always you seem tired. Aran is starting to fear you'll break under the weight of whatever it is you refuse to tell him.

He lays back on his bag, basking in the warm sun. Soon he dozes off. Once he wakes up you're laying beside him and scribbling in the margins of an article you have to read for an upcoming lecture. He lets you work and simply enjoys your presence. He missed hanging out with you, even if you don't do anything special he's just glad to have you around.  

As evening falls he draps his jacket on your shoulders. You always loved stealing – not stealing he corrects himself, borrowing- you always loved borrowing jackets and hoodies.

“Hey Aran? Can... Can I tell you something?“ You hide your face beneath the hood of his jacket.  

“'Course ya can.“

“Remember the old maple tree by the crossroad?“

Aran thinks for a moment. “Ya mean the one Suna dared ya to climb and ya fell down from?“

“That one yeah.“ A shadow of a smile flies over your lips at the memory.

“Everyone thought Oomi-sensei would throw ya outta the club. Shouldda seen the second year's faces when they thought we'll lose our precious manager.“

“A few months ago I walked past it. Thought about climbing it.“

“Lemme guess, ya couldn't? College life sucked all the strength from yer arms? Told ya ya should exercise more.“

“I was scared.“ You take a deep breath. “I climbed that tree a thousand times before. And now I'm too scared to even touch the lowest branch.“ You fidget with the hem of his jacket. “It scared me so much you know, not noticing how much I've changed.“

“Ya haven't changed that much.“

You look at him. “Haven't I?“

“No.“ Lies. A part of him knows it's lies. “Yer still the same. Our precious manager.“ He playfully pokes your shoulder. Yeah, you're still the same. You're still the you he remembers. “Yer my friend. Fearless. Always there to kick some sense into me.“ You're still the same girl he fell in love with all those years ago. “Yer one of my best friends. Nothin's gonna change that. Besides-“

“I hated you.“

Seagulls' calls. Waves crashing on the shore. People chatting in the distance. “Well, hate might be a bit too strong...“ You pull your knees to your chest and hug them, your eyes fixed on the waning light on the horizon. “I was so envious of you, you know? Of all of you... You, Akagi, Omiren,... You all knew what you wanted, you going pro, them going to college, and Shin... Even back in school I was the odd one out. I couldn't admit to myself that I envied you. Now I know it was wrong. So fucking childish. But that's how I felt.“ You can't bear to look him in the eye. “Sometimes I still feel like the one who has no idea what to do with her life...“

A lump forms in Aran's throat. He had no idea. Too blinded by your light, too engrossed in his own feelings to notice what was happening underneath your carefree facade.

“Knowing that tell me,“ you glance at him and tears in your eyes glimmer in the last beams of the setting sun, “can really nothing change our friendship?“

Ch. 2: Tattered