#I’m alone I’m scared nobody can hold me through this I’ll go to bed alone and terrified of what’s coming next

[fair-dinkum-mechanic]

Am I hard to love am I a huge effort to love

[idkwhatever580]

Nat…

Masterlist

Taglist

Pairings: Natasha romanoff x reader!highschoolau

Prompt: Natasha and y/n like each other but are two dumb idiots that won’t ever confess their love. Or will they? (You know they will) both are about 17-18

Warnings: swearing, Natasha has bad parents

Pronouns: she/her mostly

A/N: Omg I need some fluff. lol all of my stuff is basically fluff. Also I’m graduating todayyy!!!!! I’m so excited!!! I’m gonna cry 😭

Nobody’s Pov

Natasha and y/n are having yet another sleepover. Ever since Natasha turned 16 she was basically kicked out.

And so naturally her best friend y/n welcomed her immediately into her home.

And of course y/n’s parents were more than happy to take her in.

Natasha goes home sometimes, but mostly stays in the y/l/n’s guest room which at this point is her own room.

And yet, the girls always find themselves asleep together in one of either beds.

Natasha lies awake behind y/n in an almost spooning position, and she just admires y/n from afar. She can’t even see y/n’s face but she doesn’t care. She softly trails her nimble fingers up and down her arms and shoulders.

Her touch is so light. Yet not enough to wake up y/n. Or so she thought.

Y/n’s pov

I softly awake to Nat’s hands rubbing up and down my arm.

I don’t want her to pull away like she always does, so I stay as still and as calm as possible.

I won’t move a muscle so that she stays close to me.

Okay. Sure. Maybe I do have a little crush on her.

Maybe it’s not so little.

We’ve known each other since we started school. And although her parents are assholes, I’ve always been by her side. Through thick and thin.

So of course I was bound to fall in love with her.

It’s hard though. She hates physical touch but I’m her exception. She loves simple things like holding pinkies. Or a slight touch of shoulders or knees. But when we’re alone she’s all over me.

And yeah it’s nice but it’s hard when she doesn’t like me the same way. It’s hard when she’s so flirty too.

But I don’t care. All I can about right now is the fact that she is touching me.

I keep pretending to sleep but I know I move a lot in my sleep so I decide to turn around and snuggle into her. She won’t do anything since I’m “asleep.”

She pauses her movements scared she’s woken me up but then when she thinks I’m still asleep she envelopes me in a hug.

I softly breathe into her neck and smell her.

She smells nice.

She smells my hair. And rubs my back. And I wish she’d do this in a romantic way. But that’s not her thing.

But then. Out of the blue she starts whispering to me. Obviously she thinks I’m still asleep. And I guess I’m doing a good job. But I’ve always been god at fake sleeping. And it’s not like she’s a super spy or anything.

She starts whispering into my head from where she is. Like she’s wanting to tell me this.

“Y/n, I don’t know how or why, but I’ve fallen for you.”

If I wasn’t fake sleeping I would be shitting my pants right now. But I want to hear what she has to say so I keep up my facade.

“I love your hair and how it looks in the wind. I love how your nose crinkles a bit when you smile. I love you have little specks of gold in your eyes when you look at the sun.”

She sighs and continues

“I wish I was brave enough to tell you all of this. I wish I could kiss you and tell you how much I love you.”

She is getting a bit choked up and I hear her sniffle a bit but she keeps going

“I wish you loved me. But you don’t. So I can’t ever tell you these things. Because I don’t want to lose you. If I can’t have you as a lover, then I’ll take you as my friend. And that’s okay.”

She sniffs a bit more and continues, god what I’d do to kiss her right now

“I just don’t know what I’m going to do when you fall in love with someone else. I’m not ready to hear you talk about your crush. I’m not ready for you to break my heart. I’m not ready to watch you at the altar and hear you say I do to a stranger as I stay silent when they ask if anyone objects.”

Another sigh. She starts scratching my head softly.

“But I won’t say anything. I will never tell you how the first time you gave me butterflies, I thought I was actually sick. I thought I was having a heart attack at 16. And I never said anything. I can’t. I won’t. Your happiness matters too much to me. So I’ll stay your best friend. And I’ll let you go.”

She holds me tighter and says

“Because sometimes when you love something, you have to set it free”

My heart clenches at her words.

She really does love me. Oh my god she loves me back. I have to tell her!

I almost jump up but then I realize she’d know I was fake sleeping if I jumped up. So I pretend to shuffle a bit.

She stops her speech knowing I’ll be “waking up” soon and just continues to scratch my head softly.

I “wake up” and peek my eyes open at her.

She smiles and says

“Hi”

I send her a dopey smile full of love back at her and say

“Hey”

Then we pull apart awkwardly and I don’t know how to tell her that I love her too.

So I end up letting us get ready and then we go downstairs for breakfast.

My mom has known about my crush on nat for a while but she doesn’t mind. She thinks it’s cute.

And my dad has an idea about it but he doesn’t really dabble with my relationships yet. They’re both supportive though thankfully.

We eat breakfast and have some small talk.

Natasha knows I don’t like to talk a bunch in the mornings. But when we’re done with breakfast and put our dishes in the sink to clean later we head back up to my room.

“Wanna play Roblox?”

Natasha asks me with a smile knowing I love Roblox on Saturdays.

I nod my head and we jump on the bed and I decide I should tell her.

We sit on my bed and I set my phone down as I think of how to tell her. She suddenly says

“You alright?”

I nod my head and say

“Can I tell you something?”

She sets down her phone and nods her head. Then we face each other sitting with our legs criss crossed and she’s all ears.

“I have this crush on this girl.”

A flash of dread goes over her face. Clearly she is not ready to hear this yet. But she doesn’t know it’s her. Either way she covers it up and pretends to be excited.

“Omg! Really? Who is she! Do I know her? What’s her name? What does she look like?”

I smile cheekily and say

“Well. I won’t tell you her name yet”

She groans at my teasing and I continue regardless

“But. I’ll tell you about her and then I’ll tell you who she is.”

She nods her head and is staring at me.

“Well, her hair is so pretty. It’s curly and red. And her eyes are like forests.”

I kind of look off into space and keep talking as if I’m imagining my dream girl

“Her smile is so pretty and we’re pretty good friends. Her laugh is so contagious and she just lights up the room wherever she goes. She has had a rough life, but she’s never lost her heart. And she’s so kind to me. But I think the thing that gets me is how she loves everyone and everything. She talks to passionately about her feelings and her hopes and dreams to me. And it’s really only a few people she lets in and I am so lucky to be her friend. And I think she likes me back”

Natasha’s shoulders slump a bit more every few seconds and she’s droopy now. I look back at her and say

“Any guesses?”

I send her a sly smile and she looks at me and says

“Wanda?”

I start laughing my ass of and I say

“Oh man you’re so funny. Heck no! She might fit my type but definitely not her.”

Then Natasha kind of shrugs her shoulders and is gloomy now. She doesn’t care that she’s showing her dissapointed face at my crush.

I lift her chin up and say

“Nat…”

I give her a look telling her everything she needs to know. But she doesn’t believe me so she says

“Who is it then?”

I smile and giggle at her obliviousness and I say

“I’m not gonna tell you until you give me some advice. What should I do about it?”

She sighs and says

“I guess you should tell her.”

I smile and say

“Nat…”

She looks at me and says

“What?”

I smile and say

“I just did”

Her face turns pale and she says

“Wha- what do you mean?”

I giggle and say

“Natty, I just told her.”

She blinks a bit and silently points at herself as if she doesn’t believe me.

I laugh and nod and then I say

“I really really like you nat. And I wanna kiss you”

Usually I am not this bold so she is a bit dumbfounded and she nods her head so I lean in until I’m about half an inch away from her and she takes the initiative to go the rest of the way.

The kiss is soft and tender. Wayyy better than i imagined. And her lips are divine. They make me think of when the girl from the Lorax was describing truffula trees. (I don’t know. Don’t ask)

Then I pull away in need of air even though I don’t want to and we just stare at each other.

I look back at her lips and now I have become very shy. So she takes the lead and kisses me hard on the lips this time.

She ends up pushing me back on the bed and I wrap my left hand around her side and my right one threads into her hair.

We kiss and kiss and then after a bit, she trails her tongue along my bottom lip asking for permission and I grant it.

When she puts her tongue in my mouth I almost pass out. God she’s going to be the death of me.

This kiss is amazing. After a bit more kissing I accidentally let out a moan and it brings us back to reality so she pulls away.

I keep my eyes closed for a few seconds and a dopey smile is on my face.

She giggles at my flustered state and I finally open my eyes and awkwardly say

“Hi”

She laughs and says

“Hi”

We sit in silence for a bit until she gets off of me and I sit up. I look at her and say

“I’m sorry”

Her eyebrows furrow and she says

“Why?”

I look at my hands in my lap and I say

“I heard you this morning. When you said all those things to me. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything earlier but I didn’t know how to tell you”

She scoffs and shoves my shoulder slightly saying

“You little fuck!”

I laugh and then say

“Forgive me?”

She thinks about it and says

“I’ll forgive you if you say yes to this…”

I nod my head and dramatically say

“I’d do anything for my queen to forgive me!”

She laughs and says

“Be my girlfriend?”

My breath catches in my throat and all I can muster up is a nod.

She smiles and gives me a soft peck and my face turns red. I am all awkward now so I say

“What now?”

not knowing what to do and Natasha says

“Well. We could play Roblox?”

I nod my head and gasp and say

“Wanna be Roblox girlfriends?!”

She nods her head at my childishness and I pump my fist knowing Roblox girlfriends is like the ultimate title. Then my mom knocks on my door and says

“Y/n?”

“Come in!”

I smile at my mom and she narrows her eyes at me and says

“You’re being suspicious…”

She takes a look around my room but drops it and says

“Can you please text me those pictures from last night?”

I nod my head and say

“Do you want the ones of me in my cap and gown?”

she nods her head and says

“Yeah and make sure you send me the one of you throwing your cap in the air”

I nod my head and she leaves. Then I turn to Natasha and she says

“I can’t believe we graduated yesterday and now we’re dating!!!”

I nod my head and say

“Roblox baby”

“Yes of course. I forgot”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: sorry about the last part. I didn’t know how to finish it and graduation has been on my mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist

@ihartnat @ilovesnat

[ixyee]

Nobody but us: Red String of Fate

Xu Minghao x reader

Word Count: 1.6k

Genre: Zombie Apocalypse au

Warnings: Deaths, Guns, Blood, use of curse words, lowkey cannibalism(some zombie bites) somewhat suggestive (some chapters), panic attacks

CHAPTER 1: Together?

Why did the world turned like this? So fucked up. All I wanted was to live my life with you, grow old with you, get married, have children that looks exactly like us, and we’d all spend our days in love and happiness together…

But I guess everything wasn’t what I imagined it will be. Now it’s too late, it's either kill or be killed, but I'll be fine as long as you're with me.

"Love??, were running low on supplies, we cant stay here anymore", you said.

I could hear the concern in your voice but I knew it was for our well being, for our survival.

“Yeah, okay, but Hao? Where are we gonna go now?”, I replied.

“Don’t worry we’ll find someplace to shelter together.”

With your reassuring tone, I felt myself smile. Maybe everything won’t turn to shit because we’re strong enough to handle everything together.

Together.

Will we stay together forever though?, Its the questions in my mind that haunts me. The What if’s, If ever’s, and I'm scared. I’m scared that maybe all those thoughts were bound to happen.

What if one of us got bit?

What if one of us dies?

What if were not really meant to stay together until the end?

But then there’s always a shimmer of hope at the back of my head.

What if there’s a cure?

What if we can find a place to stay forever?

What if someday all of this madness ends and everything goes back to how it was before?

But i’m not stupid, i know there’s a chance we might lose our life. We may run out of food eventually, water runs out sooner or later and then...

we will die.

I am not afraid to die.

Because there is nothing else I wanna do than spend my life with you. Because no matter who gets bitten, who gets eaten or who loses an eye, I love you and I always want to be with you, always.

And if I’m gonna die tomorrow or the day after that or the day after that, then I wanna die as someone who loves you deeply. Someone who will die with you, holding your hand when you’re feeling down. When things seem to get worse, I’ll tell you about how I had hoped I could take care of you until we both die.

Maybe you don’t understand what I mean.

But I love you so much.

So when the next day comes, let’s try and face it together, right?

Together.

I lay down on the makeshift bed that we made and scooted closer to you. You wrapped your arms around me and I close my eyes. You nuzzled against my cheek, Your hearbeat lulling me sleep.

“Sleep well my love, We’ll leave at sunrise, Don’t worry about anything, I’ll be here and never leave your side.” I smiled and nodded. My eyes started to droop shut.

“Hao...i love you so much, you’re my everything. Forever.”

“ I love you too, so much, and I’ll love you forever”, I heard you mutter back.

I closed my eyes and drifted off into peaceful slumber.

We left the house as soon as it was morning and started our journey toward civilization. As expected, the walk through hell seemed endless and the sun was rising, casting a golden glow over the land. The undead didn’t approach us for hours, as we had managed to find a path without getting caught by them. It was nice knowing we weren’t alone and we had each other to rely on.

After hours and hours of walking, and scavenging abandoned campsites, its already sunset, luckily we found a decent spot to stop for a while to rest. There was a river nearby and some bushes growing wild where we could build a fire to boil water. We set up camp for the night and prepared dinner for ourselves since there was none of the food we usually have on us.

“Y/N, You should get some sleep, i know you're tired from all the walking. Don't worry love, I'll stay awake to keep watch, I’ll wake you up if anything happens” You said while getting comfortable beside me.

“Thank you, my love”, I replied. I gave you a small kiss and laid back on the bedroll we used for our shelter.

“Sweet dreams”, you whispered and I fell asleep shortly after. The last thing I remember before my eyelids drop and I fall into dreamland is the smell of burning leaves.

This time it was you who woke me up. With shaky fingers you gently caressed my face, waking me up slowly.

You smiled when you saw the sleepy expression on my face and kissed my forehead softly. You placed your hands on my chest and leaned in. I smiled lazily as you brushed our noses lightly against each other. “Good morning.”

“Good morning darling. Have you been awake all this time?”, I asked.

“I was”, You replied.

You smiled and pecked my lips, “Let’s eat something before we go.”

“Yes please”, I agreed and grabbed the bag that has some of supplies left.

We ate in silence, just the sound of birds singing and the trees dancing with the wind . I loved it when you went quiet and I could listen to your breathing as we sat side by side, sharing the same breath as I looked at you.

The sky turned a beautiful shade of blue, Your hands rest on top of mine. You squeezed my hand softly. “Are you alright?”

I sighed and rested my head on yours. “I don’t know…”.

“Is there something wrong?”

It hurts. Every time you put your hand on mine, every time you brush my hair, every time we hug each other...everytime you smile at me, it hurts. I feel like as each day goes by I’m losing you bit by bit and it hurts, because I want so badly to hold onto the feeling you give me. I wish it could last forever, that I could keep on living in your love and affection.

“Do you think we can still be happy, after everything that happened…after the apocalypse?”

Your grip tightened slightly, “Of course we can, Babe. I know what I’ve told you is probably hard to believe, but we’ll always have each other. That doesn’t change. Even if the both of us turned old and can’t walk anymore, we can just crawl, and we will do that together too.” you said while having a small chuckle escape your mouth.

We laughed for a while longer before I finally spoke again, this time quieter. “You know Hao, I’ve never really thought about our future…about us…and what our life could look like after all of this is over..”.

“Yeah”, You chuckled.

I continued, “Sometimes I wonder what it would be like, what kind of people we would meet, what kind of relationships we would form. I always think about what our kids might look like…or what types of animals will we adopt as pets. It’s weird, isn’t it? With all this stuff happening, I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of future will we have together.”

There was that word again.

A life together.

We talked about marriage, about raising children, about what our children will grow up to be. Everything seemed distant and unreal but at the same time so real. I couldn’t help but wonder if it were real or if I’m just imagining things.

‘I guess we will see’, you said smiling.

For once, I felt as if everything would be okay. That we’ll make it through all of this together. That’s all I wanted. And I knew in my heart that you want that too. After all we are human and sometimes it takes time and patience to achieve our goals even if the world turned to shit.

If only we were in a better situation…if only we were stronger, smarter, more capable of surviving, if only we were always safe and the world wasn’t falling apart, if only our loved ones weren’t dead, if only…

As I kept thinking, I realized how selfish I was being. How selfish I was. How selfish I am to imagine a scenario where we are able to survive.

But this will do for now, as long as i have you by my side, we’ll be each other’s rock and anchor . We’ll endure it till the end together.

And if hardships come to us? I’ll be with you and we’ll do that together too.

[rissas-roses]

Okay so this has been a super long time coming, I've been super stressed but I managed to get this finished today so here you go - part 4! I'm planning another part but I cannot vouch for when it will happen!

Title: Keeping this a secret

Tags: LarissaxMorticia, Romatic fluff, homophobia mentioned

Link to part 1

Larissa pulls a blanket over her and Morticia as comes into the common room and sits down, putting their hot chocolates on the coffee table. She kisses the top of Morticia's head and smiles,

"You comfy?"

Morticia nods and moves closer to Larissa, picking up her hot chocolate and taking a sip, "What would you like to watch?"

"I bought a copy of Home Alone. We could watch that,"

Morticia turns on the TV and presses play on the film, reaching to get some chocolate, then kissing Larissa's cheek. Larissa looks around the room, checking to see if there are any other people, "Tish, what if someone sees?"

Morticia frowns, “Basically everyone has gone home for the Christmas holidays, who would see?”

Larissa sighs, shrugging as she looks over her shoulder again to check that nobody has walked into the room, “I don’t know, students? Teachers? You know my dad works here, right? If he found out about us he’d be livid. I- I’m just scared. Scared of what people will do if they find out.”

Morticia pulls away from Larissa, looking at her with a baffled expression,

“Scared? What’s the worst that could happen?”

Larissa looks at the floor, “My family don’t approve of women dating women. They think I should be getting into a ‘proper relationship’ with a ‘decent man’. They have no idea we’re dating, and I can’t tell anyone here because it might get back to my dad and then he’ll force me to move schools. He’s done it before; he’ll do it again,”

Morticia strokes Larissa’s cheek “Oh darling, I didn’t realise. I’m so sorry,” she pulls Larissa into a tight hug, kissing her cheek softly, “I’ll make sure he doesn’t find out. I’ll make sure nobody finds out. I don’t want to be the reason you have to move schools,”

Larissa holds back tears and nods, burying her face in Morticia’s shoulder to hide her embarrassment. They stay like that for a while, just enjoying the feeling of being close to each other, before Morticia breaks the silence,

“How about we have a Christmassy midnight feast tomorrow?”

Larissa nods, still not trusting her voice to say anything without giving away the tears she’d stopped herself from crying into Morticia’s shoulder. Morticia strokes her hair, careful not to destroy Larissa’s delicate updo in the process,

“You can get your beauty sleep, I’ll wake you up at midnight,”

**

At one minute to midnight, Morticia’s alarm wakes her up and she creeps over to Larissa’s bed, sitting down and wrapping her arms around Larissa. Larissa mumbles in protest, pulling her blankets around her shoulders.

Morticia giggles, “Hey, you agreed to a midnight feast. That does tend to mean giving up at least a fraction of your sleep,”

“Can we at least have a lie in?”

“Mhm I suppose, I don’t have a class until the afternoon, what about you?”

Larissa wrinkles her nose, “I’ve got English first thing,”

Morticia giggles, “Seriously Rissa, our English teacher practically sleeps through the entire lesson, she will not notice you’re gone if you have a lie in,”

Larissa’s eyes widen, “I’ve never skipped a lesson before,”

“Really? Never? You have no fun,” Morticia gets out a packet of biscuits and some mince pies, offering them to Larissa.

Larissa sighs, “It’s kind of hard to have fun when all my parents expect from me is straight As,”

Morticia smirks, “ ‘straight’ As,”

Larissa rolls her eyes, “Trust you to make the bad gay jokes,”

Morticia shrugs, pretending to be offended, “Someone’s got to, and your humour is terrible,”

Larissa gasps, putting the biscuits aside so she can jump on top of Morticia, tickling her and giggling, “Take that back!”

Morticia laughs, trying and failing to squirm out of Larissa’s reach, “Okay, okay, I’m sorry,”

Larissa nods, taking the apology and kissing Morticia, “Good,”

When all the biscuits had been eaten, Morticia put the mince pies away, kissing Larissa’s cheek as she sits down on her bed. Larissa looks at her,

“Can you sleep here?” she moves over, making room for Morticia. Morticia nods, wrapping her arms around her and pulling the covers over them both. Larissa curls up next to her, falling asleep in her arms with a soft smile.

Tags: @dopenightmaretyphoon 💚

[she-karev]

Birth

Age Rating: 12+

Chapters: One of Two

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

AN: Hey guys here’s the next story I hope you like it and I’ll post the next one in the morning.

Summary: Amber is in a delivery room in labor with Andrew by her side and Addison Montgomery as her doctor.

Words: 1930

I groan out in pain lying in my birthing bed wearing a hospital gown so I can finally give birth. Unfortunately, there’s a lot of pain before that happens based on how I’m leaning forward while my uterus tightens up. All I can do is hold Andrew’s hand as the next contraction comes and hits me like a truck. Dr. Addison Montgomery is also in the room feeling around my stomach as I collapse on the bed once the contraction ends. I let go of Andrew’s hand and he rubs it clearly hurting after my vice grip.

Addison moves back and checks the monitor for my vitals, “Okay Dr. DeLuca your contractions are 10 minutes apart and you’re progressing very nicely.”

Her diagnosis is pissing me off, “Oh god that’s what you call progressing nicely you rotten old bat. Ugh! I call it a bumpy road trip down to hell.”

Andrew steps in to humanize me as he curls his fist to make sure I didn’t break any bones, “She didn’t mean that, the ‘rotten old bat’ part.”

“I think I did.”

Andrew chuckles nervously and tries again, “We both appreciate you taking the time to deliver our baby. I’m sure your schedule is packed.”

Addison isn’t mad though she just grins, “Oh no please ever since Roe V Wade was overturned, I’m in the front row of the fallout. A birth is something I needed to bring some joy into my life and remind me why I first got into OB so thank you.”

I sigh at that, “Any chance you can thank me by taking over?”

Addison chuckles, “It’s okay everybody reacts to giving birth differently. I’ve been in this specialty for almost 30 years believe me I have seen it all.”

I exhale as Andrew chuckles and explains, “I wouldn’t bet on it Dr. Montgomery, Amber is a very unique individual.”

I glare at him, “Shut up Andrew nobody is asking for your opinion.” He simply nods knowing better than to challenge me in the state I’m in.

“I’m sure you both know this but the next step is to wait for the contractions to get a little closer together before asking you to push.”

“Oh god they get closer together?” I ask terrified then remember I have an MD, “Wait a minute I knew that. Of course, I knew that I’m a doctor I would have to know that.” I sigh and remorse comes to me as I face Addison, “I’m sorry I called you a rotten old bat. You actually look very good for your age.”

She chuckles at that, “It’s okay and yes you did know that. If you didn’t, I would be dealing with your brother intern year again.” I chuckle lightly at that, “Don’t worry Amber you know everything you need to know about giving birth and whatever you forget your husband will be there to remind you. Your next contraction is in ten minutes I have a consult to get to but I will be right back.” Dr. Montgomery begins to walk out the door with Andrew looking worried about being left alone with me but he stands by my side and holds my hand again.

“Okay so breathe through your nose.”

“Do not tell me what to do.” My hormones and contractions are making me extra cranky, “Ugh I need to walk around get me off this bed.”

“Are you sure?” Andrew asks causing me to glare at him which scares him so much he complies, “Okay then let’s walk around the room for a bit here we go.” He helps me off the bed and I make it to five feet before I lean my elbows against the table breathing in and out with Andrew rubbing my back to comfort me, “So I’m gonna risk poking the bear and ask have you thought of a name for the child to be?”

I look behind to narrow my eyes at him, “Really? Now? You pick now to ask that? I am about to push a melon through a keyhole and you choose to bring up how we’re lagging in the name department?”

He rubs my back and continues, “I think now is the right time, I know we said TBD but we should probably D it before we have a chubby faced baby and a blank line on the birth certificate. We ruled out your mom for obvious reasons, what about grandma’s? I’ve got Aria, and Adelina, you?”

I inhale deeply and exhale before responding, “You mean Miriam and Ruth who rejected me and left me and my brothers to fend for ourselves in foster care when their son and daughter couldn’t take care of us? You want to name our loved daughter after those negligent bitches?”

He winces at that harsh reminder, “You know what let’s forget grandparents how about we meet her first and it’ll come to us.”

I groan at my discomfort again, “Whatever gets you to shut up I will take it. God why did I talk myself into this? Why didn’t I wait until electric wombs were invented or cloning was in human trials? I could’ve saved myself so much misery.”

He runs his hands through my hair, “You’re doing great just breathe through the pain.”

I breathe like he suggests, “Shut up about my pain, you don’t know what is going on inside my body right now.”

“I don’t know I was beaten and stabbed I’m sure I can relate on some level.”

I grip the ends of the table as sweat drips from my forehead, “I was beaten too and this right here this is like getting stabbed a hundred times in your pelvis and you’re pooping out your insides.”

His eyes widen at that image, “That does sound painful.” Suddenly my emotions get the better of me and I go from angry to sad because I start to cry and then sob like a lunatic. I can tell Andrew is surprised but he stays and rubs my shoulders, “Oh no, hey it’s okay the pain is all a natural part of labor I don’t know it personally but the one upside to riding this out is having a baby in the end to make it all worth it. I mean that’s something isn’t it?” I still sob though and I can tell Andrew is stumped but trying to mend me as he affectionately rubs my back, “Come on I’m sorry I would make it so this process has no pain at all. I would make it to where you push and then pop we have a baby trust me.”

I sniffle and stop sobbing but I still have tears in my eyes, “It’s not the pain, I grew up in a hell house, my foster parents were crap, my brother beat me to near death and I worked in a hospital during covid I can handle the pain.” I tear up and my voice hitches, “I’m sad because I’m afraid of continuing the cycle.”

“What? What do you mean?”

I sniffle as I walk back to the bed with Andrew helping me up, “I mean what person thought ‘oh look here’s a baby now I have something to hit’ maybe my dad didn’t same for my mom but look at what they did in their trial as parents. I already look like my mom what if I do to our kids what she did to hers?”

He looks at me in sympathy as he helps me lie down in bed and covers me with a blanket, “Amber-”

I hold my hand up to silence him, “No I know what this is, I know it’s the hormones causing all this crazy thinking and I should ignore it but I can’t because there’s no off switch and it’s not like some creep in a bus you just avoid eye contact with. All of this uncertainty brings me back to my childhood when I would watch my mom get dragged away by orderlies screaming nonsense about the government watching us through the smoke alarms which I genuinely believed until that day. And now I’m about to become a mother and suddenly I think ‘what if I’m like her?’” I tear up again, “And she was the worst mother in the world. What if I’m just the latest in my family’s long line of horrible mothers?” I sob again, putting my hand over my eyes so I don’t see the look on Andrew’s face as I break down in the worst time possible.

“Shh it’s okay it’s gonna be okay.” I still sob as he tries to soothe me, “Look I thought the same thing when I started getting manic okay? Remember when I was at my worst and I took it out on everyone and you especially?” I sob harder at that memory, “Sorry I have a point here I promise. I thought the diagnosis was the end and I was just like my manic and reckless father who refuses to talk to me. I pushed you away, I quit my job and I let myself get in the deep end. I thought I was doomed but I wasn’t, Carina, Webber and Bailey they all showed me that and I decided to prove myself wrong and I did. And now I’m good not cured but good and despite everything I did I earned your trust back. I did that and I am so glad I did because it brought me to this moment with you.” I calm down a bit remembering that as awful as that period of our lives was it brought us closer together and made us stronger as a couple.

“Look I’m not saying I’m not scared too I get terrified thinking I’m gonna screw up this kid like my dad screwed me up but I know that I’m not and I know that you’re not gonna repeat your mom’s mistakes either.” I wipe a tear away as my sobs lessen, “I know you had a crappy mom but at the very least you know what not to do. You’re the strongest, most caring, and compassionate person I know and this kid could do a lot worse for a mom. Amber we’re not our parent’s, we’re us and I don’t think I know we’re gonna end our family pattern. It stops here with me and you. It ends with us.”

My sobs stop completely as I let his speech sink in and I become less afraid. It’s the hormones but it’s also my fear of ending up like my mother that has been in my mind for years. I don’t know how this is gonna go but I know how it’s not and I’ll be damned if it does. His last words hit me and I raise an eyebrow at him recognizing it, “You read that Colleen Hoover book I got for me didn’t you?”

His eyes widen at that, “Well…I…” He sighs as he confesses, “It was on your nightstand I decided to read a chapter…I ended up reading the whole thing while you were asleep.” I laugh at that imaging him reading a recently popular romance drama that even got me stirred up in emotions, “It was pretty good.”

I nod in agreement, “It was. Thanks for making me laugh.”

“Thank Colleen.” I chuckle, “The next contraction is in 30 seconds do you want to hold my hand?”

“Don’t hate me if I break it.” I grab his hand and grip it as the next fireball of pain takes me causing me to scream.

[minimallyminnie]

Suffocating Love

I have made regrets and mistakes but you have never been one.

Jaxon Crowley belongs to @ryker-writes. I only wrote this for funsies! Riddle belongs to Twisted Wonderland

This is an ending to the Despite it All JaxRid fic I wrote a while ago. To sum up, bleh flowers

Tw: Hanahaki, blood, depictions of throwing up flowers, I think panicking, hurt/comfort

“I’ve made my choice.”

The doctor looks at him with surprise

“Oh my, that fast dear?” She asks him

Riddle looks at Jaxon, holding his hand tighter

“Pardon my language and don’t bring my mother into this but. I want to fucking kill him myself if he manages to wake up. How dare he not tell me.” It’s said with all bark and no bite, tear streaks on his face

The doctor puts a hand on his shoulder. “So, you’re going to be talking to him is what I’m guessing?”

Riddle nods. The doctor smiles at him before she adjusts some of the machines near Jaxon

“Good luck then dear. I’ll tell his friends outside what you’ll be doing and give you some privacy.”

The sliding door shuts and a click and it’s just him and Jaxon again

He takes a moment to breathe for a second.

He doesn’t know what he’ll do if Jaxon doesn’t wake up.

Taking a deep breath, he says everything on his mind.

“You…you inconsiderate, selfish, ignorant, heartless, dishonest bastard…how could you not tell me?” Riddle lays his head down on the bed while holding the calloused hands. Without his gloves, Jaxon’s hands feel right in his…

“I miss you. I miss your annoying face and that stupid grin you had when we argued. I want to feed the animals with you again. I want you to come back. I don’t care if you don’t love me if you wake up, I just…I just want you back alive.” Riddle can feel new hot tears leak down his eyes

“Sincerely, I have no idea how you could contract a Briar Valley disease. But with your luck, I can’t say I’m surprised. Besides the prefect, you have some of the worst luck here in school.”

Memories flash in the red head’s mind, of Jaxon just…being there for him. Understanding him when nobody else can. Teaching him to let loose and break a few rules, feeding a goose for seven’s sake

“I…I should’ve told you. You were there for me when…when crap went wrong. When I fought with Trey or when my mother started to try and dictate what I do at school. Jaxon, goodness, you were by my side and I hadn’t even noticed how much I depended on you. When we didn’t argue about something everyday, it felt…wrong. I looked for you without even knowing. Jaxon…I want to study with you, get to know you better, I want to watch you play your guitar, I want to—“

Riddle runs out of breath for a second.

“I want to stay by your side.”

He can feel himself gripping Jaxon’s hand tighter

“Please…please wake up…I don’t know what I can do without you…I miss you. I miss your voice and your smile. I want to see you smile even more. Just…for me…Please, please, please…”

“I love you.”

Even as Riddle is openly crying, he can’t feel Jaxon move. His heart feels heavy in his chest

Why couldn’t he be better. He should’ve just told him. Now he’s going to leave him alone just like everyone else will and Riddle doesn’t know if he can handle the one person he fell in love with do that to him. Is he going to be alone forever? Watching everyone find someone or be happy by themselves while he’s alone with nobody? He should’ve just let the doctor do the surgery, at least Jaxon would be ali— “You’re…suffocating my hand you know?

Never in his life has Riddle perked his head up so fast, the neck can regret it later but he sees Jaxon’s topaz eyes blink tiredly at him, his coy yet soft smile sh across his face.

Riddle’s eyes tear up again as he tackles him to the bed with a hug

“You-you asshole! You scared me so much!”

“A-ah…Riddle—“ Jaxon starts coughing and Riddle pulls off of him with worry

The doctor rushes back in the room when she feels his heart beat quicken again through her magic grabs a bowl for Jaxon

“Just cough it up, it’ll help.”

The blue haired continues coughing up full bloomed flowers, dripping with blood and vines with thorns until he finally coughs one more time and reveals the seed connecting to the vines

He plops his head back on the pillow once he’s done, panting softly from the excruciating pain

“W…what the hell was that?”

“Is he ok? Is the disease still there?!” Riddle panics for a second before Jaxon grabbed his hand to soothe him quietly

“Nope! Hmm…What did Vanrouge tell me? Oh yes! One of the cures to Hanahaki is confessing to the one the disease based itself off of. And luckily for you two,” She smiles at them “You both reciprocated each other’s feelings. I’m going to have to guess right now that these things are just remnants of Mr. Crowley’s—“

“Jaxon.”

“Oh my apologies, Jaxon’s hanahaki. The seed was the source and it bloomed into deadly flowers. I’ll have to ask Vanrouge later. I’m sure your friends will be delighted to hear that you’re awake!”

She then takes the bowl away and slides the door back. Riddle looks directly at Jaxon

He sits up again and held both of Riddle’s hands

“Rid-“

“Shut up. You didn’t tell me and I didn’t either. I…was so scared that you’d die. Why didn’t you tell me..?” Riddle felt Jaxon cup his cheek with one of his hands and brush his stray tears away. He laid his hand on top of Jaxon’s, leaning into his hold

“…I…I rather lose my own life than someone who I…love. I didn’t want you to avoid me or hate me.

Jaxon still looks at Riddle with adoration

“You’re an amazing person Riddle. It’s a bit surprising that I liked you considering how different we are. Someone like me with you. Reminds me of a story of a beautiful towngirl falling for a beast. I just…couldn’t believe that you’d like me either.” He laughs softly at the end

“Haha…considering you blocked the whole Heartslabyul dorm from speaking to me in the first half of my year here…”

“I…I’m sorry…”

“No, I can see why. I mean the head mage did make it a rule before my overblot.”

“But you’re a human too. Not a monster.”

Jaxon’s breath hitches as Riddle just tells him that. After his expulsion, he ingraved in his head that he was a monster. But for Riddle to just say it earnestly…

Oh he really fell head over heels for him

“Collar me if you don’t want this.”

“My apologies, repeat that aga-“

Jaxon pulled Riddle up to him, kissing him

Riddle lets a squeak out in surprise but closes his eyes leaning into the embrace

They pull apart quickly and Riddle’s face turns red, hiding his face in his hands

Jaxon laughs as Riddle then lays his head down on the bed

“I cannot believe you just did that…”

“Can’t say I did it when you did too.”

“You’re insufferable…”

Riddle looks up at Jaxon, his face mirroring Riddle’s to have pink dusted cheeks

“And? You still loveee mee~”

“S-shut up!” Riddle covers Jaxon’s mouth with his hands

The next time Jaxon has flowers for Riddle is on their first date together

For once, Jaxon seems to be at peace with himself as he gave the bouquet of flowers to the happily surprised red head

“Apple Blossoms, baby’s breath, roses…mind telling me?” Riddle asked as he held the bouquet in his hands

“Mmmm…I had to ask for the apple blossoms from the Feimer student in Pomefiore. Their dorm has so much strong flower smells by the way. Perfume fanatics or something. Don’t you know what it means?”

“I can’t put a finger on it…” He playfully says as Jaxon bends his head towards Riddle’s face

“Preference are Apple blossoms, everlasting love for Baby’s Breath, and finally roses mean I love you of course. Put it all together and what do you get…?”

Riddle blushes as Jaxon inches closer

“I prefer you because I’ll love you forever.”

In the shade of a building, the two privately kiss.

I am so head over heels for these two idiots

Like good job Ryker, you raised your Raven son right (better than Crowley—)

I was gonna make a sequel for bad end too…but honestly I just wanted to make a happy one

[ofcarnvge]

Unarmed

@annalis-e--shadowofpanem

Leslie seated herself, taking the vial and needle from her bag. She could feel Amy and Cereza burning holes into her skin with their gaze. Her actions would cost her their favor...for awhile. But if she were asked, she would defend her actions as necessary in the moment, and harmless overall. But nobody asked, They stared.

And so she went through her morning routine, hours late, in full view of them. She pushed her hair over her shoulder and wiped behind her ear with a single swab of alcohol. As Pan passed, Leslie offered her the needle and vial. “Do you mind?” Pan understood all of it, and her acceptance of the task was her unspoken assurance. They’ll come around.  Pan took the needle and vial and drew the prescribed dosage. Leslie only winced slightly as the needle sank behand the lobe of her ear. The needle ran empty, and Pan withdrew and discarded it. “Thank you,” Leslie said.

Try as they might to suppress it, Amy and Cereza’s faces wore slight relief.

“So what now?” Amy spoke from a place of atrophy. Cereza killed Elle, Leslie surveyed the scene with Bill...Amy did nothing. She’d mention it if she was ever asked, but otherwise, she’d never admit to feeling useless.

“We go home.” Cereza interjected. “Bill is dead, Elle is dead, and research implies that Budd and Vernita are no longer players. This is over.”

“So the good-as-comatose former assassin in the back cabin means nothing?” Amy fired back. :

“Precisely.” Cereza folded her arms over her chest. “Drop her off at a hospital. Dust your hands off. We’re done here.”

“I find it hilarious that you’re trying to determine what I should do in regards to my own personal to-do list.” Pan sat quietly at the bar. The milkshake she made came together without effort. “Let’s stop pretending that you both came here at my invitation. You’re both here to steer me home--the fact that I invited you was just convenient cover. You don’t actually give a shit about me or what I wish to do.”

Silence. No one could hold eye contact with Pan anymore, but Cereza gave it her best effort. “You don’t mean that. That’s not fair. We’re just trying to protect you--”

“You’re trying to protect your director. Not me. .” Pan’s eyes burrowed into Cereza, destroying what little defiance she had. “I should have gotten on a commercial flight myself, killed Elle myself, cased the scene myself, recovered O-Ren myself. Because, after all, the only person I can truly trust right now is myself.”

Leslie’s breath hitched. A thick swallow. The two smallest sounds in the room that sent Pan’s words right back in her direction.

Pan sighed. The thought of sending them away barely manifested into more spiteful words. She shaped her lips, but the phrasing fell to pieces as Pan’s phone buzzed. She glanced over a message, gathered her thoughts. She sank a straw into her shake and sighed again.

“I can find my own way,” Pan muttered. “But if you want to prove me wrong, help me move this show to Cambridge.”

The Shadows shared looks amongst each other.

Leslie started for the cockpit. “I’ll go down the pre-flight checklist and get the Eboncry ready for cloaking procedure”

Amy reached in her pocket for her phone. “I’ll reassemble the crew.”

Cereza started for the door. “I’ll scout ahead. Send me a destination.”

One by one, the Shadows fanned out, leaving Pan alone with her thoughts. Only a few seconds would pass before she heard a small voice.

“You didn’t mean that...did you?” Lucky peered up at her mother from across the bar, her eyes filled with sadness.

Before Pan could reply, she heard her voice from the far side of the room. “No, of course not.” Pan’s saw eyes that looked like her own staring back at her. It was like peering into a mirror, but the reflection had a will of its own. Pan sat across from herself, wearing a silver suit that bore the empress’s crest on its shoulder pads. “One thing I’m inept at is admitting when I’m scared.”

Go go let go of O-ren’s hand, laying it gently back on the bed, and stood. Walking back through the plane it was hard not to catch the tail end of what sounded like a tense back and forth, though the particulars were unclear. The two women she had seen outside and Leslie opened a pair of doors and left the cabin, purposefully.

Looking inside Go go saw what looked for all the world to be a kitchen in a house by a lake, right down to the view. She cast an impressed glance about as she stepped up to the doors, admiring the dedication of interior decorating. Aboard a jet no less.

She looked cautiously at Pan, standing at the bar with a tall glass of milkshake in front of her. The whole thing was curiously idyllic, especially given the look that Pan wasn't quite keeping off her face; a little like she had seen a ghost, or maybe something else entirely.

“O-ren seems stable.” She ventured quietly, taking a step into the kitchen. “I’m glad you were here, all of you.” Her hearing sharpened to listen for any footsteps behind her, anyone lingering. “I hope...All of his hasn't caused too much strife, amongst your friends. Do you think we can do anything about O-ren’s condition? Bill is very good at his craft, I’m scared.”

She tried to catch the other gaze more fully.

“Pan, are you alright?”

[electric-indigo0913]

I don’t think it’s fair for me to be unloading this emotion on you because I want you to be and feel happy more than anything and I don’t think reading this will be helpful to your mental state either.

I am not doing well. I’ve been crying for almost three days straight now (including Friday and Saturday, before we changed the dynamic. I heard the punky brewster theme song and it broke me). Every time I get a break from it it just keeps creeping back up and it won’t fucking go away. I said I left work early because everyone was pissing me off, which was true, but also because I was so close to crying the entire time and I don’t want to explain shit to people.

I’m so tired and burnt out and drained. And I don’t want you to think that this is a result of you doing what you need to do. This is a direct result of me neglecting myself for six+ years and I think it’s just overflowing in a way that isn’t productive.

I don’t like being alone here. Every single corner is fucking cursed and I have nobody. I think I feel like I’m nobody’s first choice. I’m a second to all of my “friends” here, and I just want to have anybody want me around. I know there are people who do but I’m not there and that cannot be immediately fixed. It’s funny because I wasn’t even Noah’s first choice when he lived here. I thought when he moved out I would be freed and so happy and I am those things, and I’m grateful not to be scared in my own home anymore, but the silence isn’t better, it’s just a reminder of how alone I feel. And when I’m here alone in the quiet I can still hear slamming doors and swearing and anger and it’s not fair that that’s still happening when he moved out over two months ago. The only time I felt peace here is when it was you and me, alone in bed, holding each other closely-and I’ll continue to search for that feeling of safety and peace and love in every corner in my life. Thank you for showing me that feeling can exist.

I feel so misunderstood by everybody up here and none of them are helpful when I go through shit because they don’t know what to say and that’s fair. But I don’t need people to know what to say, I just need them to listen and care at all. It fucked me up that the first person to check on me and say they’re here if I need it was Trey. That made me cry too. It shouldn’t make me cry when somebody gives a fuck. But nobody here has checked on me or asked me how I’m doing in months. It appears that JT may have taken Noah’s “side”. I am not handling that well.

I used to be happy with my job. I used to enjoy what I was doing and feel like I was doing great and now I feel like a fucking ass all the time. I’m walking on eggshells constantly and I’m still not able to do the things my job requires me to do because I don’t know how to do it or I’m not brave enough to do it. Moving on seems scarier but I don’t think I can stay there anymore. Things used to be good. They haven’t been good in so long now.

I think that I’ve said before that my big mistake was waiting until I was at my breaking point to kick that dude out, because now I still have to do all the things I was doing, but now I have to do them alone. And it’s better alone than with him, but that doesn’t make it less lonely. It’s really scary for me to be at the point where I feel like I physically can’t do anything. I can’t do the dishes or fold the laundry. I can’t focus enough to watch a show. I just keep breaking down and lying on the couch and then breaking down again. Not being productive is scary for me. I’m just scared and tired. I’ll probably feel better after I smoke a bunch but even doing that sounds exhausting. I’m just so tired.

[monocaelia]

comforting you after a nightmare headcanons

nightmares aren't fun, but luckily you have someone there to protect you.

feat. albedo, diluc, childe, kaeya, xiao, zhongli

genre : hurt/comfort, fluff

note : hbd to me!! here's a gift from me to you with one of my favorite tropes, hehe <:

❀ albedo

albedo isn't one to dream much, let alone rest. he's always caught up in his own research and experiments that sleep isn't really needed if he wanted to be more productive in his research, despite the worried comments from sucrose and your lighthearted nags that he'll stay short forever.

though, that isn't to say that he's not interested. there are many times that albedo has caught you dozing off in his laboratory while waiting for him to be done with his experiments. he would be lying to himself if he didn't wonder what could possibly be playing in your mind to make you be smiling like that while unconscious.

this time, though, is an exception.

test tubes and flasks filled with various liquids and concoctions fill albedo's workspace as he examines each and every one before filling in his notebooks with descriptions and drawings of his work. there's a shuffle from his other desk and his eyes shift up to glance at you. albedo's gaze softens at the sight of his coat draped over your shoulders as they move to the rhythm of your breathing.

he wonders why you choose to stay at his laboratory so late and wait for him to finish his research rather than head home alone and sleep in your much more comfortable bed. albedo supposes you find comfort in his presence, an odd thing to be comforted by really.

however, the gentle smile quickly falls from his face the moment he hears the quiet whimpers and pleas. as quickly as he could, albedo moves to your side and gently shakes you awake. he isn't the least surprised when your eyes snap open and a gasp leaves your lips.

"...are you alright?" the question breaks you from your daze and you seem to relax when you realize you aren't dreaming anymore. though, the way your hands and shoulders shake doesn't escape the sharp eyes observing you.

"come on, i think i'm done with my research for now. we can head home if you'd like?" albedo smiles when you nod your head, but as he turns to pack up and prepare to leave his laboratory your hand shoots out to grasp his own.

albedo is surprised at first, but the shock melts into endearment as his hand pulls yours up to his lips. he presses a gentle kiss on your knuckles, reassuring you that he'll be right there for you. that you wouldn't be alone.

"nightmares, huh? ...i wonder if i can concoct something to help eradicate the chances of them appearing. oh, don't worry, i won't leave your side for the rest of the evening. promise."

❀ diluc

diluc isn't prone to nightmares, honestly he probably gets them quite often. or maybe even dreamless dreams if he's lucky. well, considering he sleeps at all. he's busy being the darknight hero of mondstatdt in the dead of night, so sleep doesn't come by often for the red haired vigilante.

even when he does get nightmares, there's not many people he can call to or rely on to help comfort him. he doesn't trust any of the knights, and he definitely doesn't trust kaeya to help at all. so comforting someone isn't something he knows how to do well.

but he tries his best to comfort you in any way, shape, or form if you ever needed him to.

the knocking against his door is quiet, nearly nonexistent if diluc was preoccupied with anything other than trying to sleep. he would have ignored it if it weren't for the quiet whisper of his name from a voice he recognized. sighing, he rises from his bed and heads over to his door, mentally preparing himself for whatever you're planning to throw over his head.

instead, diluc is met with your cheeky smile. you're definitely up to no good, but he hasn't quite figured out what you were going to do or say. before he could even question why you're standing outside his door in the dead of night, you interrupt him.

"wow diluc! fancy seeing you here, do you come here often?" he deadpans at you and nearly closes the door to go back to sleep. but he notices the way your fingers twiddle, a sign that you're nervous about something. his eyes flicker to your face, scanning anything that would give him clues on what's on your mind.

"what happened?" diluc's brows furrow in worry seeing the way your smile falls and the way your body begins to curl in on itself. he offers a hand for you to take, an invitation for you to be comforted by the stoic man in front of you. he lets a small smile grow on his lips when he sees you brighten up a tad at his invitation.

your hand is encased in his own, scarred and rough with callouses but comforting and warm at the same time.

"go back to sleep, it's already getting really late. if you need anything, though, i'll be right here until the dawn rises."

❀ childe

although sleep is necessary to maintain perfect health, childe finds it difficult to maintain a proper sleeping schedule due to his job as a fatui harbinger. when the tsaritsa calls, he needs to be there immediately to come to her aid and carry out her orders regardless of how inconvenient it was for him.

but, having many siblings, especially younger ones, has always prepared childe to comfort and protect anyone that he holds close to his heart. nobody, not even nightmares, can get close enough to harm the people he loves, not if he's alive to knock them down a peg.

which definitely includes you, someone who holds his entire world in the palm of your hands.

childe finds you awake at the dead of night after one of his shifts at the northland bank. which is surprising considering you're always asleep before he gets back home from work, always trying to stay up to welcome the harbinger home but always succumbing to the sweet embrace of slumber.

a mischievous grin grows on his lips as he plans to spook you, but as he nears your body, the shaking of your body and quiet sniffles reach his ears. immediately, childe's hand is on your shoulder and he frowns when you yelp and whip around to see him.

"o-oh, ajax, i didn't expect to see you home so soon. i was just getting ready for bed." a white lie. childe presses his lips into a thin line, his hand reaching out to catch a tear falling from your cheek. did...did he do this to you? was he being a bad partner for not putting aside more time for you?

as if reading his mind, you vehemently shake your head and grab onto childe's wrist. "no! no... it's not what you think i just had a really bad dream and couldn't go back to sleep. don't worry, you don't need to beat yourself up over this." he relaxes immediately at your comment, but he still feels bad for leaving you alone when you needed someone to comfort you.

childe leans over, cupping your face in his hands as he showers your face in featherlight kisses. your giggles fill the room and the habinger can't help but laugh as well, especially after pressing a wet, sloppy kiss on your lips. "how about i cook you a nice stew for tonight? it always helped teucer calm down when he was scared."

and you take him up on that offer. the rest of the evening is filled with light laughter from the both of you as childe moves around the kitchen and tells you stories of his childhood. the scene is comforting, peaceful, and you wouldn't have it any other way.

"how about we turn in for tonight? don't worry, nothing will harm you as long as your big, strong ajax is by your side!"

❀ kaeya

despite his title of being a "lazy" and "laid-back" captain of the calvary, kaeya isn't one to sleep too much. he has a regular sleeping schedule, though there are some nights where the memories of his past haunt him and he stays up reminiscing about how things were.

he's one to brood alone, not letting anyone see him vulnerable. but he likes to be relied on. there isn't a bone in his body that prevents him from helping anyone in need, even though the way he gets things done is quite... unconventional to everybody else's standards.

but when you call to him for help, he’s there in an instant.

the sound of rustling from beside kaeya stirs him from his slumber. he squints, his good eye focusing in the darkness of his room before landing on your curled up figure beside him. he figures you’re just shifting in your sleep and closes his eyes again, but you shift again and sigh. surely, you’re not sleeping at this point.

kaeya gently calls out your name, a warm smile on his face when he sees you startle from his voice. though, his smile melts away from his face when he sees your expression. it doesn’t help that you flinch slightly when his hand reaches over to brush against your cheek.

“sorry, i just…i’m still shaken from my dream and-“ your apologies are cut short when kaeya sends you a comforting smile and cups your jaw in his hand. he assures you that it’s fine.

“are you okay? how long have you been up?” it takes you a moment too long to come up with a lie that would put your lover at ease. when you come up with an answer, kaeya is already staring at you with his mismatched orbs, one of deep sapphire and the other a light, milky blue color. you can’t lie to him now.

so you tell the calvary captain about the dream you just had, not going too into details with what really shook you. and kaeya listens to everything you say, a hand firmly on your arm to remind him that you’re with him and not whatever occurred in your dreams.

he makes little comments here and there to lighten the mood, though he knows when to keep quiet so you can talk it through. when you finish talking the dream through, kaeya pinches your cheek, chiding you for dreaming of such things.

but he reassures you that you’re fine, and that he’s here to protect you should anything from your dreams come into reality. he jokes about letting you handle everything alone, but you know he wouldn’t despite how cheeky he is.

"don't let the bedbugs bite, [name]. haha, kidding. i'll be here to fight them off if you need me. i am a captain after all."

❀ xiao

xiao isn't unfamiliar with nightmares and dreams. don't forget, one of his duties under the reign of the yaksha's previous master was to devour the dreams of the innocent. it had gotten to the point where dreams were the only things he could stomach, despite detesting the intent behind it.

despite it all, though, xiao is still an adeptus who protects the mortals and the innocent of liyue. his sole job now, under his contract with rex lapis, is to protect even if it means throwing his life away. with a swift call of his name, he would be there to be the guardian of liyue and anyone residing in it.

and that includes you, the sole mortal that the young adeptus enjoys the company of.

a gasp tears through your throat as you sit up in your bed, sweat dripping down the side of your face. your eyes are blown wide open with the visions of your nightmare still clear in your mind. the rapid beating of your heart and panting are the only sounds heard in your otherwise quiet bedroom.

curses spill from your lips as you cradle your head in your hands, your knees pulled up to your chest to try and make yourself as small as you possibly could. but to no avail, no matter what you did to comfort yourself or make yourself forget the nightmare, the visions still flashed in your memories every time you closed your eyes.

you don't hear the rustling from your window, nor did you feel the presence of someone crouching from behind your curtains. it's only when he gently calls your name do you whip your head around, eyes coming face to face with golden eyes that gleam in the moonlight.

"xiao... sorry i didn't see you there," you stutter, quickly wiping your eyes and turning away so the young adeptus wouldn't see you crying. his eyes narrow at you, eyebrows furrowing as a frown settles on his face. "what are you-"

your hands are pulled away from your face and you're pulled closer to him. "you're crying." you try to deny xiao's observation and reassure him that you're fine, but a hand gently brushes against your cheek.

xiao doesn't say anything when the tears begin falling down your face again. he doesn't say anything when you jump into his arms and bury your face in his chest. you feel his arms firmly wrap themselves around you. he doesn't say a word, but his actions alone assure you that he would be there with you for the rest of the evening.

"sleep. should any more dreams come to haunt you during your rest, i'll be here to dispose of them."

❀ zhongli

as an archon, zhongli doesn't find much need for sleep. he's a god and no god needs sleep to be energized for the following day. it's not like it would do well for him anyways, seeing as he would much rather prefer strolling the lit up streets of liyue harbor in the late evening before returning to his home to drink tea and relax.

that's not to say he isn't familiar with dreams and how they can affect mortals. he knows full well the impact they can have, especially if they're dreams filled with horrible outcomes or stuff nobody would like to be reminded of.

so when you come to him to seek comfort after a horrible night, he's ready to welcome you into his embrace.

the gentle whisper of zhongli's name alerts him of your presence from the hallway in your shared home. the archon lifts his head to look at you, eyes made of molten gold meeting your shaking gaze. "what's wrong, dear?" you don't answer his question and instead shift your gaze to the ground.

zhongli tells you to "come here" in the gentlest voice he could muster, and you do. as soon as you sit beside your lover, his hand comfortingly holds your jaw and lifts your face so you can see him. there's nothing but endearment and love in his gaze. "you don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to."

he hums in amusement seeing the way your body relaxes after that. there's a gentle tug on your arm, a signal for you to find comfort in zhongli's embrace, and you find yourself snug in between the archon's arms. you inhale deeply, zhongli's comforting scent filling your lungs.

his hands rake gently up and down your spine and hearing his heartbeat from where you rest on his chest calms you immensely. if it weren't for your nervous, rhythmic tapping against his arm, zhongli would have assumed you fell back asleep in his arms.

"would you like to hear about the play i've been attending to recently? the plot is quite interesting, i think you would enjoy it." he attempts to distract you for a while to calm your nerves after waking so abruptly, and it works, not to his surprise.

as he drones on and on about the plot that doesn't quite make sense to you in your dazed state, the archon notices the way your fingers have stilled and your breathing has evened out, much calmer and more regulated than before. zhongli smiles, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head.

"it's starting to get late. you should try to rest again. don't worry, i'll be beside you should anything happen to you once more."

[earlgreydream]

indecency.

| loki x reader | smut | fluff |

cw: dark!loki -> soft!loki, spanking, edging, slight degradation, angry!loki

You knew better.

You knew there was no way you were going to get away with it. You knew there would be consequences to your actions, but you were so pent up with need, you had fooled yourself into thinking you could get away with breaking one of Loki’s rules, and benefiting from it. 

Loki was strict, and had little patience for indecency and insubordination. He demanded obedience, and enforced it with punishment.

It was incredibly dangerous to test Loki. Loki was a lot of things, but merciful was not one of them. Any infraction required discipline, often severe. 

One of Loki’s rules was that you were his, and his alone. All pleasure had to come from him, touching yourself without permission was strictly forbidden in his castle. He wanted to be the one to inflict all of your ecstasy, everything to come from him. Occasionally, he would give you permission, often so he could watch. Aside from that, it infuriated him when you touched yourself secretly.

You knew this, and yet you’d chosen to defy him anyway. There was no way it would be worth it in the long run, but you were desperate and in need. Loki had been neglectful of you over the last few days, busy and overwhelmed with royal duties. You spent the week a ball of pent-up sexual frustration, and if you didn’t take care of yourself, you were going to explode. 

Loki’s anger burned through him like wildfire.

He’d returned to your chambers after an incredibly stressful morning, his only desire to rest with you. Asgard was demanding, and he was tired from ruling, craving the feeling of sleeping with you in his arms. Instead, when he had entered, he found you on the bed, your small fingers sliding in and out of your cunt. You were writhing on the bedsheets, moans mixing with the lewd noises of your fingers. Your head was thrown back and your spine arched, pushing your breasts out as you fucked yourself.

Loki stood utterly still for a moment, unnoticed by you. He couldn’t deny that the sight was incredibly arousing, but it was overshadowed by the anger toward your disobedience. He strode toward you, fed up with your misbehavior.

Your startled scream echoed off of the arching ceilings as Loki’s hand gripped your jaw. Your eyes snapped open, and you were met with sadistic green eyes that were filled with irritation.

“You believe you can pleasure yourself better than I? Or are you just an insolent brat?” Loki snarled, and you were too frightened to answer. Your eyes were wide, and you immediately pulled your fingers out of yourself. Your thighs twitched at the sudden loss of stimulation, and you sank into the mattress, failing to put distance between you and Loki.

Regret washed over you, fear prickling through your naked body. Loki was seething, and terror seized your veins. The fear and his anger added to the heat in your belly, upping your arousal. You loved to see Loki mad, even when it scared you. 

“Since you’re so comfortable being indecent, you’ll take your punishment on the throne!”

“No!” You shrieked, making the god’s fury spike. You’d said it just to be a brat, unable to resist to dig yourself in deeper with his patience. You immediately wanted to take it back, realizing you made it much worse by objecting. You struggled to breathe under Loki’s threatening gaze, both of your wrists gripped together in one of his hands.

“If you dare to disobey me again, I’ll let the entire realm watch me beat your ass raw,” Loki’s threat was not an empty one, and you closed your mouth. A shudder rolled through your spine, and Loki rolled his eyes, slapping your ass as he dragged you up. 

You nearly tripped over your feet as Loki hauled you from the bed, parading you through the halls and throne room, naked for the entire castle to see. Tears obstructed your vision, but you knew any more disobedience would result in far more catastrophic punishment.

You were red with embarrassment, nauseated by the knowledge he hadn’t truly begun to punish you yet. You were tripping up the golden steps to the raised throne, feeling like you were on a stage. Loki dragged you over his lap on the throne, his entire royal guard and Valkyrie present to witness the consequences of your behavior. You were fully exposed and on display for everyone, left with no chance of concealing yourself.

“I’m sorry!” You cried out as he struck you. Servants winced as the noise echoed off of the golden walls, thankful they weren’t in your position. 

It wasn’t the first time this had happened, and they didn’t understand why you kept doing things to get you in this position. Nobody wanted to be at the mercy of Loki’s wrath, and they couldn’t imagine the motivation behind your actions that you knew resulted with these consequences. They were blushing for you as you got spanked in front of everyone, choked tears blinding your vision and making it hard to breathe.

Loki knew you secretly loved it. 

“You will be,” Loki’s voice was like ice, and he had you sobbing within minutes. You were burning with shame, struggling on his lap from the pain of his assault on your ass. He’d conjured some kind of leather strap that bit into your tender skin, leaving red welts in its wake. Your cries and squeals of pain echoed off of the high ceilings, and the court couldn’t look away from you. 

Your skin was stinging from Loki’s unforgiving blows, the leather a deep green against your red skin. He got twisted pleasure from watching bruises blossom to the surface of your skin and running his fingers along the raised welts he was creating. Your body jerked forward and you yelped in pain as he slapped you with his hand, irritating your backside further.

“Loki, please!” you shrieked, begging for reprieve. The leather cracked against your skin before it vanished, and he dragged you to sit up and straddle him, your skin burning as it rubbed against the fabric of his armor. Your face was streaked with tears, and he raised an eyebrow at you. He cupped your sex, making another wave of heat wash over you.

“Why are you crying when I can feel how soaked it made you?” Loki mocked you, squeezing your throat as a broken moan escaped you.

“Answer me.”

“Because I’m a slut,” you whispered, knowing what he wanted. You were done pushing your luck, and you wanted to be good, not wanting him to inflict any more painful punishment. A smirk pulled at his lips, and he kissed you roughly. Your hands carefully wrapped around his forearm, stabilizing yourself. He held back a smile at the action. It made you seem innocent, and Loki loved your midgardian fragility. He loved the way you gripped onto him, even when he’d just tore your ass up, only making you more clingy and needy for him.

“Do you intend to obey your king now?” Loki asked, bouncing his knee and making you gasp from the friction on your clit, your small hands squeezing him at the sensation. 

“Yes, I’ll be good!” you insisted, pouting your lips for a kiss. Even when Loki was furious, he wasn’t one to deny you of affection. Familiar with what it felt like to be unloved, he never wanted you to feel the same.

Loki’s clothes disappeared with magic, and he grabbed the backs of your thighs, pulling your legs around his waist. You winced at the pressure on your tender skin, and pushed against his chest.

“Knock it off, or I’ll turn you to face the court.” 

You shook your head vehemently, wanting to hide in him. You knew he was going easy on you now, and you didn’t want to ruin it. You hid your face in his neck, leaning into his chest. You knelt above him, and you felt his tip brushing through your soaked folds, jumping as he came into contact with your nerves.

Loki sank you down into him, holding your hips and guiding your movements. Your head rested on his chest and he bounced you on him with rough thrusts. You whined into his shoulder as he rubbed your nerves, building pressure in your abdomen. You dragged your nails down his back, your body tensing and heat started to spark through you. 

You were close to your orgasm, but Loki had other plans for you, none of which included letting you come. He was proud of how well you’d taken the punishment up to this point, but he wasn’t finished with making you learn a lesson.

Loki pulled his hand from in between you, thrusting all the way into you and holding you still on him. You squealed and writhed on him, trying to get some friction. He didn’t have it, and you were forced to hold still with his thick cock buried deep inside of your throbbing heat.

“Be good!” Loki snapped, and you yelped as he slapped the side of your thigh in warning. You realized he hadn’t gone easy on you, and was now going to edge you on the throne while everyone watched.

Once the burning in your nerves subsided, he rocked you against him again, building the pressure back up. Every time you made a noise you were rewarded with a red handprint on your thigh, the pain sending shocks through you and pushing you further toward the edge.

“I’m going to absolutely ravage you,” Loki growled into your neck, making your eyes roll back and a grin pull at your lips.

You had gotten exactly what you wanted, but now you were desperate for the release you craved. 

“Loki, please let me-” you were cut off by a particularly rough thrust upward, making him smirk.

“Let you what, darling?” He teased, slamming into you every time you tried to speak. He edged you for nearly an hour before he finally decided you’d had enough. You had been good, taking it without complaint, other than pathetic whimpers that echoed off the golden ceilings. 

You were aching and throbbing, every small touch making you writhe at his fingertips. Loki knew your limits, and he was pushing them, watching your eyes turn glassy. He’d sank into your mind, filling it with images, memories, of him railing you and making you come a thousand times over. His sick use of magic only made you melt more, completely pliant to all of his demands, letting him do whatever he wanted to you.

You were unable to sit up off of him or speak, only making soft breathy pleads. Your body shuddered from the stimulation, and you sobbed weakly when he finally let you orgasm. You involuntarily jolted in his arms, a low whine humming through your chest. Waves of exhausting ecstasy crashed over you, the hour of edging turning into a powerful release.

Loki let you catch your breath for a minute before sliding out of you, easing you to rest on his lap. The subjects in the throne room looked away, knowing better than to continue watching when Loki was finished punishing you.

He wrapped you in his emerald cloak, concealing your exhausted body. He scooped you up in his arms, carrying you out and back to his chambers. The silky fabric was cool and smooth against your abused skin, and you relaxed into his arms.

“Are you still mad?” You whispered into his chest, your cheek resting against his cool skin. Your head was cloudy, and your thoughts were unclear, needing Loki to reassure you that it was over.

“No, my darling. Never with you,” he kissed you lightly, bumping his nose against yours. You tightened the green silk around you, and he smiled into your hair as he sat down with you curled up in his lap.

“Was that all just to get my attention?”

You nodded shyly, embarrassed that he saw right through you.

“If you want pleasure, you need only ask me, I will be more than happy to give it to you.” 

Loki was no longer teasing or mocking you, and he gently tilted your chin up so you were looking into his deep green eyes. You nodded, and he kissed your rosy cheeks. 

[deru-shigaraki]

Yandere Idol Asmodeus (obey me one shot)~smut Warning~

He was at the top of the charts. Face on billboards, articles in magazines, and dozens of interviews and appearances on tv. You, along with the rest of the world was in awe of him and his talent. A singer, dancer, actor, he had it all. He also had you. Being his personal assistant was a complete chore. For someone so famous, it was a hassle to mange him and his social life. You did your best to keep up and he knew that, always giving you praise. He adored you, you knew that. He would tell you regularly, which you assumed was just something that he got used to saying. However he should love you, because of how good you were at your job. You weren't just there to book him concerts and meetings, you were also one call away when he needed someone to pick him up from the club, or when he was feeling overwhelmed. He abused your phone number, not only calling you when something important came up but he wouldn't leave you alone on your days off, he would ring you up just to talk, wanting your opinion on dumb things or just when he wanted attention. You felt almost like a parent chasing after him all the time. However you were hardly able to control him. He was taller, stronger, and he treated you like a lab dog. You were always at his side, when you weren't, he'd get a bit...frustrated. You learned that the hard way. It wasn't a big deal, it mainly just shocked you how his flip could switch so easily. You had been late for a photo shoot one morning, your phone had died, and your charger was lost somewhere in one of your many bags. You had a rough night, having to check into a hotel, not able to make it all the way to Asmodeus' mansion. You were running on only a few hours of sleep, that late night meeting being the worst idea. You didn't even have your makeup on as you rushed out of the uber, hurrying into the building where the crew was most defiantly waiting for you. You weren't even to the room yet and you could hear shouting. It was so foreign to you, hearing him scream like that. You ran into the studio, thinking that there was a fight or some sort breaking out. There, in the middle of the room was Asmodeus, throwing things around like a child. He was furious, his eyes glaring daggers at anyone who tried to stop him. His perfect hair had been compromised, now messy and ruined. He only stopped his tantrum when he spotted you. His mouth twitched, as he panted, nearly out of breath. "You're here..." He muttered, standing up straight and fixing his shirt. He began to laugh, his arms slacking to his sides as he took a few steps towards you. "W-what's the matter?" you asked, looking at him as well as the other employees. They coward away, not wanting to get involved. You felt uncomfortable as Asmodeus took hold of your wrist, dragging you out into the hallway. You struggled against him, asking the others for help but they kept their distance once Asmodeus called to them. "I'll be back to finish the shoot in a few minutes~" he cooed, as if he was back to normal, but his grip on your arm gave a different impression. You were tossed against the wall carelessly. You were shocked, keeping yourself up on your feet, only to have him jerk you around by your clothing. "You fucking whore." He hissed in your ear. It caught you off guard. You looked up at him with fearful eyes as he grasped a handful of your hair, tilting your head back. "Who were you with last night? You didn't call, didn't text, and your snap map was still at the studio. I know you weren't sleeping there, so who was it?" He growled. You shook your head frantically. "I was at a hotel, I wasn't with anyone." You tired to explain but Asmodeus wound't listen, laughing maniacally. His hand gently stroked your cheek. It was confusing, you almost felt a certain amount of affection from his touch, but his eyes burned into you with a cold stare. His voice was even more unnerving. He spoke in a low growl. "I'm going to find out if you're lying to me. I don't need to remind you who I am." You shook your head frantically, deciding that it was best to just get this tantrum over with. He sighed, closing his eyes and taking in a breath. He grabbed your shoulders and forcefully pulled you into him, his arms wrapping around you. You hugged him back. You had always hugged him, but this one felt less apologetic and more possessive, as if he didn't want to let you go. "Asmo...Come on, let's go take your pictures ok." You tried to chance the subject, to destress the situation. Asmodeus nodded his head and giggled carelessly. "Right!" Leading you back to the room, you felt all eyes on you. Had he been throwing a tantrum the whole time you were gone? What had he said that made everyone so on edge. As the pictures were being taken you noticed that people had calmed down. Asmo had that ability, to make those around him feel comfortable, even if it was him who had caused the slight discomfort. Through out the shoot, the photographer had to keep reminding him to look at the camera. You kept your head down, trying not to show how embarrassed that you were, knowing your clients eyes kept staring at you. What was his deal today? Yelling at you and now the constant glances, the winks. This wasn't suppose to be a very sensual session. It was for a normal magazine, not the penthouse. Yet Asmodeus was unbuttoning his shirt, licking at his fingers, arching his back, all while making eye contact with you. By the end of the shoot, everyone in the room was heated, girls and boy alike were tanking down water bottles, excusing themselves to the bathroom. You were trying to bury yourself in the schedule on your lap when Asmo surprised you. His arms wrapped around you in a hug. He had down this countless times before, but this felt different. His hands weren't behaving like they always did. He had actually attempted slipping his hand down your shirt and you yelped, trying to step away from him. Asmodeus giggled happily. "Don't be so squeamish~I'm just teasing you." He explained but you doubted it. Taking a deep breath you continued on with the day, which had been fully booked. You went on like you normally did, or at least tried. Asmo was nearly unbearable. You felt exhausted from carrying him around, the man always leaning into you, hugging you. That wasn't as bad as when he was suddenly touch you in inappropriate places. Or when he would whisper things into your ear. It was unsettling, in all the years you had worked with him, you had never experienced his personality in full blast like this, not even when he was drunk had you been so attacked. As you walked him up to his apartment, you thought that it was finally over. Maybe after a good night sleep he would be back to normal. He was just having a weird day, maybe he had gotten into some drugs. You wouldn't bring it up now of course, not wanting to upset him, especially if there was nobody there to protect you if he did lose it. You yawned as Asmo unlocked his door. You gave him a smile, waving goodbye, but before you got more than a few steps you heard him whine. "Wait, MC, you should stay here with me tonight." He said, his figure looking a bit menacing in the doorway. His fingers were gripping the wall, tapping lightly, and impatiently. You stood there for a few seconds, not sure how or even if you could decline the offer. "I, um...It's not that late, I'll get a cab-" "No MC, please, just come in." It wasn't an offer, it was a command and you did what was asked of you, even though the way he was staring made you very uncomfortable. Once you were inside, Asmo seemed to relax, back to his cheerful self. "You hungry? I have lots of snacks!" He jeered and you actually felt better too. The two of you ate some food, watching one of your favorite shows together. Asmodeus was sitting up straight, not making any sort of move while next to you. It gave you a sense of security. As if he was done harassing you today. Getting ready for bed he also kept his distance, giving you your space to get changed into your night shorts and tank top. However when it came to sleeping, he refused to let you take the spare room. "MC, please~I get so cold sleeping by myself, you'd warm me right up." He smiled brightly, as he grabbed your hand, pulling you down onto the bed with him. You sighed, being far too tired to fight back at this point. Once you were both under the covers, Asmo cuddled you tightly. He wrapped his arms and legs around you and nuzzled his face into your neck. You allowed him too, being too tired and for one and two, you were kind of cold. His whole body was warm, heating you up perfectly. It wasn't hard for you to fall asleep. It also wasn't long before you were woken up eruptively. Asmo was screaming, throwing things around the room as you sat up with a start. He glared at you, the lamp in the corner was on the ground, its shade busted but still emitting light. Asmodeus glared at you, your phone in his hand. "Good you're up, be sure to call back your boyfriend." He hissed and you were taken back. "w-what? Asmo, I don't have-" "-He called you, don't know why you didn't wake up and go rushing to him!" You sat up, ready to get out of the bed, but he was quick to jump on the bed, crawling over top of you. He was never more threatening. He only wore his boxers, his bare chest looking a bit more muscular now that you were scared. He looked down at you angrily, scrolling through your phone to read your messages. You reached up to grab it but he jerked his arm back. "Don't fucking touch it." He hissed, clearing his throat to read what had been sent to you. "I tried to call you but you must be sleeping, I'm coming up next weekend. Hopefully we can get together and go get some drinks. Miss you...love you." He stared at the screen, starting to laugh. You were trembling afraid, never had you seen him so unstable. This wasn't drugs, this was something mental and you were terrified. "A-Asmodeus-" He cut you off, using all of his strength to chuck your phone at the wall, shattering it. "Fucking whore!" He screamed as he sent a punch to the pillow next to your head. You yelped, covering your face with your hands. "That's not anybody! That's a friend! Just a friend!" You tried desperately to explain but he wasn't having any of it. "I gave you everything, You'd be nothing without me! You owe me everything! No amount of your attention deserves to be given to someone else! I OWN YOU!" He screamed in your face. You started to cry at this point, not able to keep your composer any longer. You were shaking, feeling his hands grab your wrist, pulling them away and pinning them to the pillow beside your head. He then leaned forward, pressing his forehead against yours. "I gave you too long of a leash, I should have watched you closer...I just thought I was enough for you..." His voice started to sound less angry and more heartbroken. You sniffled, "You are enough for me, You're my best friend, I-I love you-" "You don't love me...I Love you. My heart burns for you, your feelings are nothing compared to mine, I've spent my entire career trying to control you, I thought you could be trusted as my assistant, but you're getting too comfortable...." You didn't understand. What the hell was he talking about? You shifted your hands, but he had them pinned tight to the bed. "Asmo, please...let's calm down, you're scaring me." He looked up at you, his eyes welled with tears, but his face held no trace of sadness, only rage. "I want you to say it." he spat and you blinked in confusion, not understanding what he wanted. "Wh-what?" you asked and Asmodeus, let his lower body sink down into you. You gasped as you felt his crotch, digging into yours. "Tell me who you belong to~" You shivered, one of his hand snaking away from your hand, fingers tracing a path to your neck, as he gently grasped your throat. "Who do you belong to?" He asked once more, feeling you swallow your nerves. You said in a whisper. "I...I belong to you..." He groaned, eyes rolling back, hips digging into at a more aggressive pace. You could feel him grow harder as he continued the action. You whined. "Asmo! n-no." You mumbled, but he acted as if he didn't hear what you said. "I don't care who you were with before. I'll get rid of every last one of them. From here on out you're mine." His hand trailed down from your neck, groping your chest through your shirt. You struggled against him. "I've not been with anyone! Please Asmo, I'm not ready!" You pleaded and he paused. "You're still a virgin..." He muttered under his breath, his eyes wandering down to where your body had been rutting against each other. You bit your lip nervously as looked back up at your face. "I thought for sure...This whole time...I can't believe it." He sounded almost excited, finally smiling at you. "This whole time you were waiting for me to pop that little cherry of yours~." He cooed, his movements relaxing, going easier. You calmed your breathing down, trying to stay calm, not wanting to upset him again. You thought of how you could get out of the situation. You looked up at him, eyes welling with tears, but you decided to be strong. "Asmo...I really like you, You know that." you choked out. He hummed, smiling down at you. "Yeah?" You nodded. "We've been companions for so long...I just don't understand why you want to hurt me like this." you felt his body tense up. "You...you think this hurts?" He asked and you blushed, not sure how to respond. Asmodeus nibbled on his bottom lip. "Oh right...Virgins are really sensitive, I guess I should start small first." He thought outloud to himself. You gasped as his hand slipped into your shorts, realizing you had no panties on. He looked up at you and smirked as he played with your pussy. Your hands fell to your sides, gripping the bed sheets as he continued to violate you. Your eyes were closed tight, hating yourself for the noises that were leaving your mouth. The way your body trembled for him. You wish his breath wasn't so warm, his hands weren't so skilled, rubbing against you in a sick way. You were dripping uncontrollably, your body never being in a situation like this. You weren't lying when you told him that you were a virgin. That's why when he went a step further and dipped the tip of one of his fingers inside you, your eyes opened and you yelped. Asmo hushed you, his one arm, resting next to your head, holding himself up over top of you. "You're pussy is so hungry, eating my fingers up like this~I take back everything I said about you being a slut, there's no way you'd be this tight." He growled, pushing in two more of his fingers inside. Your legs struggled to close, but his body was in the way. You were trapped, forced to take every bit of his torture, the bed underneath you getting soaked. As he began to pump into you faster, your eyes watered. It didn't hurt too bad, it was tight and he wasn't being as gentle as he had said but there was something about the intensity that was making you light headed. You panted with the thrust of his hands. Whining like a dog, you mentally cursed yourself for the way your hips began to push up against his palm. Asmodeus bit his lip, his eyes watching your reaction closely as he curled his fingers inside you. "You're so beautiful~Seeing you like this is enough to push me over the edge." He leaned down, his mouth capturing yours in a kiss. You moaned into his mouth. He liked the feeling, deciding to finger you harder so that you'd whine more desperate. You pulled your head to the side, escaping so that you could breath. Asmodeus buried his face into your neck. Kissing you feverishly as he began to mumble to himself. "Mine, Mine." He gasped out with every thrust. "A-a-asmodeus! Wait! Slow down! I can't--I can't--" You were nearing your limit, his mouth latching onto you, biting at your neck so aggressively. It was too much, your legs began to shake, your arms reaching up to wrap around him as he fucked his hand into your orgasm. You screamed out, riding it out on his hand. You were gasping for breath, begging him to stop pumping into you, your pussy sore and worn out. He chuckled, sitting up, raising his hand to his mouth so that he could suck your orgasm off of his fingers. "You ready for something bigger?" He questioned, hand dipping down into his boxers. 

[katmoonz]

Depression

Pairing: Wolfstar x Fem!Reader

Word count: 3034

Includes: TW suicidal thoughts, depression, mentions of missing meals, crying, fluff, hugs, angst to fluff, comfort

Do not post any of my work anywhere else!!! I’m fine with reblogs but not with people stealing my work. 

Notes: I have depression, this fic is kinda based off of my experience with depression. I wanted more than anything for someone to notice how badly I was struggling and I was in desperate need of a hug. I can’t change the past but I can write down my thoughts, feelings and what I needed at the time.

Thank you @quindolyn for helping me to fix a couple bits and for helping me decide on the ending xx

Depression is completely unpredictable. You might feel on top of the world one minute and suddenly feel miserable the next. You smile around your friends and family hoping that they don’t notice that anything is wrong but deep down you just want someone to notice, to care, to ask you how you are or just hold you while you cry it all out. You want to die yet you can’t bring yourself to do the actions that would end it all because that scares you even more than living.

Lately, you had been feeling very happy. Remus and Sirius were wonderful boyfriends and would do everything they could to make you laugh or smile. Your favourite moments with Remus are the ones where he decides to cuddle with you, there is nothing more relaxing than just resting your head on his chest and listening to the thump of his heart and his steady breaths.

The best moments with Sirius are when he tries to make up his own jokes, most of the jokes he tries to tell aren’t even funny but that somehow makes it funnier when he tells you a bad one-liner whilst in detention. The sweetest thing about Sirius is that when you least expect it he curls up on the bed and sleeps next to you as Padfoot. It’s the sweetest thing ever waking up in Remus’ arms to Padfoot lying across your chest, Remus just watches over the pair of you with a smile upon his face at seeing his two lovers sleeping so peacefully.

This morning you had woken up and felt like crap, you couldn't quite place it so you skipped breakfast and had a lie-in instead. This caused you to miss your first lesson and most of lunch. You managed to go to your next lesson though which was Charms with your boyfriend Remus.

At first, you tried to concentrate but you felt like a cloud had settled itself over your head causing you to struggle with your work.

You’d been feeling better for a while now but for some reason today had just left you feeling miserable. For the rest of class, you sat with your head in your hand gazing out the window.

Remus could tell that you weren’t paying attention to the class and was starting to grow concerned. “y/n, you okay?” He whispers in your ear.

Not wanting to draw any attention to yourself or bother him, you just nod and force a smile in the hopes that you could pretend that everything was fine.

The bell rang a few minutes later signalling the end of the class period. You had History of Magic next, Remus wasn’t in that class with you but Sirius was. Remus walked you to your next class observing your behaviour.

You weren’t smiling and didn’t speak at all on the way there simply looking at the ground. Remus stopped with you at the classroom door and gave you a soft kiss on the cheek. “Are you sure you’re alright love? You know you can talk to me if something is wrong.”

Looking up at him you sigh. “I’m fine,” you say quietly before turning around and walking into the classroom.

Remus was growing very concerned with your behaviour, something was clearly wrong but you weren’t telling him.

Just then Sirius walks down the corridor. “Moony, decided to switch classes have you?” He jokes.

Not wanting anyone to overhear the conversation Remus grabs his arm and pulls him over to an empty classroom shoving him in the door.

“I need a favour,” said Remus in a serious tone.

“What Moons?” replies Sirius, confused at the sudden change in Remus’ behaviour.

“I need you to watch y/n for me and make sure she’s alright. Something is wrong and I want to help her but she won’t tell me anything.” blurts Remus.

Sirius pats him on the shoulder. “Don’t worry Remus, I’ll keep an eye on her.” Sirius leaves the empty room and proceeds to walk into the History of Magic classroom.

Sirius seats himself beside you but you don’t notice at first because you are spaced out not paying any attention to the lecture being given by Binns.

You felt like crap to put it simply. You wanted to focus on your classes so badly but your brain was just telling you no.

Your brain is running at a hundred miles an hour making you feel even worse. *I’m going to fail all of my classes. Why am I so useless? Do the boys love me or do they just tolerate me? Nobody loves me, not really. I wish I was dead, why can’t I just die?*

You feel slow tears make their way down your face. You sniffle softly not wanting to bother anyone.

Sirius quickly notices your tears as you sniffle next to him. *Moony is right* thought Sirius *something is very wrong.*

Sirius reaches a hand out to yours underneath the desk and gives it a gentle squeeze as a reminder that he is there for you.

Finally, you have enough of your self-deprecating thoughts and abruptly stand up, grab your things and leave despite only having twenty minutes of class left. Sirius gets up and follows you, grabbing your hand as you leave the room.

The pair of you walk silently through the castle until you get back to the Gryffindor common room. Sirius seats you at the couch in front of the fire before grabbing your bag and chucking it aside.

Sirius sits down next to you as you stare into the ornate fireplace with tears still slowly rolling down your face. “Y/n love, what’s wrong?” He softly asks.

Instead of answering him, you rest your head on his shoulder. Sirius brings his arms around you to pull you into a hug. The pair of you sit like that for a while, listening to the crackle of the fire and your sorrowful sniffles. Sirius simply holds you whilst tears slowly roll down your face.

“I'm sorry, I’m just tired. I think I’m gonna go have a nap” you say softly.

“Alright doll, I’ll see you at dinner then?” He asks.

“Yeah, I’ll be there,” you tell him knowing full well that you wouldn’t be in the mood to eat.

Leaving Sirius in the common room you walk up to the boys dorm and throw yourself down on Remus' bed. Grabbing a discarded sweater from Sirius’ bed on the way. You curl up in a ball under the covers on Remus’ bed before letting the tears fall down your face again *why can’t I just feel happy for once in my life? I always fuck everything up, I want to die*

Sirius watches you walk up the stairs to the boys dorm before letting out a sigh and putting his head in his hands. You had never been like this, you were usually so bright and cheerful something bad must have happened because Sirius hadn’t seen even the slightest smile all day.

The bell for the next lesson rings and Sirius remains sitting on the sofa in the common room contemplating what he should tell Remus. He didn’t want to make his friend even more alarmed but he couldn’t hide his feeling of concern for your breakdown in class.

Remus enters the common room behind a babble of second years who were complaining to each other about their homework.

Spotting Sirius on the sofa before the fire he rushes over to sit next to him.

“Where’s y/n? Is she alright?”

Sirius takes a deep breath before sitting back on the sofa. “No, I can see what you mean Rem, she’s very upset.”

“What do you mean?” replies a panicked Remus

Sirius turns to face him and puts a hand on his shoulder. “Look mate I don’t want to worry you but in class, she just sat and stared into space, then she started crying and walked out.”

Remus let out a pained sigh and ran his hands down his face before clasping them in his lap. “Is she okay? where is she now?”

“I walked her back here, we had a cuddle for a while then she said that she was just tired so she left to have a nap,” replies Sirius

Remus stands up from the sofa and brushes his sweaty palms off of his trousers, “let's go and check on her.”

Sirius rises off of the sofa too, he turns around and looks around the common room before turning back to Remus. “Maybe she just needs space, she told me she’d come down to dinner so let's just give her some time alone and if she doesn't come to dinner then we can go and check on her.”

Staring into Sirius’ stormy grey irises Remus stays standing for another minute before nodding and sitting back down.

The boys study in the common room for an hour in complete silence, both of them preoccupied with thoughts of their distressed girlfriend. Sirius and Remus then head down to dinner, sitting down at the end of the Gryffindor table closest to the doors so that they could spot you as soon as you walked in.

The boys sit and pick at their food mindlessly for ten minutes continuously watching the door in hope that you’d join them for the meal.

Sirius lets out a deep sigh and drops his fork on his plate rubbing his brow before looking at Remus. Remus looks up at him offering a small smile before standing up. “Come on Pads, our girl needs us”

Sirius quickly stands up and grabs Remus’ hand dragging him out of the great hall. The boys briskly walk hand in hand back to the Gryffindor common room and quickly ascend the stairs to the dorm.

Remus opens the door quietly in case you are sleeping and peers in, he feels his heart break as he catches sight of you. You are lying in his bed fast asleep with puffy eyes from crying.

Remus approaches the bed and sits down on the side closest to you. Gently he starts to stroke your face with his hand whilst gesturing for Sirius to come over to the bed with his other hand. Sirius kneels on the bed next to Remus, reaches out and starts playing with your hair.

Remus watches as you slowly awaken, your eyes fluttering as they adjust to the light in the room. “Darling are you alright?” He asks you softly while rubbing his thumb over your cheek.

You feel your eyes fill with tears but don’t want the boys to see them so you roll over and put your face in the pillow hoping that they leave you alone so that you can compose yourself again.

The boys look at each other trying to figure out what to do next. Remus nods at Sirius gesturing for him to try and get a response from you.

“Baby, why didn’t you come to dinner?” You still don’t respond, making Sirius panic. “Please talk to us, we want to help you.” This makes you feel even worse, they just wanted you to be happy but instead, you’d caused them to leave dinner to look for you.

Your body starts to shake as the tears start rolling down your face. You keep the sobs in not wanting to make them even more worried.

Remus carefully runs a hand over your back worried at the lack of response. “Y/n please talk to us, we love you baby we only want to help you. It’s killing me that you are this upset and we want to be here for you.”

This is the last straw and you lose control of your crying, finally letting out the sobs that had been building up all day.

Remus’ heart breaks even more “Oh baby, come here”. Remus turns you over and carefully pulls you into his lap.

You press your head into Remus’ neck and let out all of the emotion that had been held within you all day.

Sirius sits down next to Remus and yourself at the head of the bed, he runs one hand soothingly up and down your back. “It’s okay baby, it’s okay.”

Your entire body shakes with sobs, tears soak the front of Remus’ sweater whilst the boys continue to make attempts to console you.

Remus rocks you in his arms carefully trying to calm you down. “Shh darlin’ it’s okay”

You start hyperventilating from the force of your sobs, Remus pulls you back from his chest slightly brushing hair away from your face.

Sirius reaches out to you and picks up one of your hands, he brings it up to his chest so that you can feel his steady heartbeat. “I know you're upset baby but you’ve got to breathe. Can you do that for me?”

Sirius breathes in and out slowly emphasising each breath for you to follow. “In...and out, in…and out.” This continues for a few minutes as you try to regulate your breathing.

“Good girl, you’re doing such a good job baby”

The sobs slow down slightly as you regain control over your breathing, tears still fall down your face but not as quickly as before.

Remus cups your face in his hand wiping away stray tears with his thumb before pressing a solitary kiss to your temple. “Y/n, what’s wrong? Please tell us” he begs.

You let out a sigh, opening and shutting your mouth a few times trying to come up with something to tell them.

Sirius notices your hesitation and gives you a reassuring smile. “It’s okay love, you can tell us anything. I promise you that we’ll try to help you and nothing you say can make us love you any less.”

Looking into his eyes you see nothing but love and concern. You sniffle and wipe one of your sleeves across your face. “I don’t know, I just don’t feel good”

Sirius runs a hand through your hair before giving you a sympathetic smile. “Is it that time of the month baby? You feelin’ sick?”

Tears well up in your eyes again. “No” you reply softly “I don’t feel sick”

“Then what is it babe?” asks Sirius with a small frown on his face.

You consider lying to them for a moment not wanting to burden them with your thoughts and emotions but in the end, it’s the pleading expression upon Remus’ face that makes you give in.

You take a deep breath, “sometimes I just feel really sad, like nothing will get better. I feel like no one loves me. I don't want to bother you guys because I don’t want you to leave me.”

The tears fall down your face again as you turn around and put your face back into Remus’ sweater, your fingers have a firm grasp on him as if letting go would make him disappear.

“Please, please don’t leave me, I’m sorry” you beg them as you cry into Remus’ chest.

Remus feels tears well up in his own eyes but swallows them down in order to comfort you. “No no no, sweetheart, it's okay. I promise that we aren’t leaving you.”

Remus holds you even tighter in his arms “I wish you’d told us that you were feeling like this sooner darling. We love you so much”

Sirius sits in silence listening to Remus comfort you before lifting a hand and rubbing your back. “Look at me baby,” he says with a stern tone.

You look up at him, he has a more pronounced frown upon his face than what was there previously but it softens slightly when he realises that you are watching him.

“You need to tell us when you feel like this okay? You aren’t bothering anyone, we just want to help you and we would never leave you over something like this.”

You remain silent looking away from him, the tears slowing down again so all that remains are the odd couple every few seconds.

“Promise you’ll tell us when you feel like this baby?” He asks, holding your face in his hands.

You sniffle softly before agreeing “m’kay, I promise”

“Good girl, you’re such a good girl for telling us baby,” he says fondly before placing a soft kiss on your cheek. As he pulls away from your cheek he gets a mischievous look upon his face. “Hey babe, what do you call a cow with two legs?”

You look at him confused for a minute before saying “I dunno”

He leans in towards you with a grin upon his face as though he is telling you a secret “Lean beef”

This causes you to giggle, Sirius smirks whilst Remus chuckles. The boys are pleased to hear you laugh after having been deprived of such beautiful sounds for an entire day.

“Good one wasn’t it?” He asks with a cocky smirk on his face.

“No” you reply, still slightly giggling.

“No!” He repeats back to you in disbelief. “What do you mean no? I thought it was a good one”

Remus raises an eyebrow looking at Sirius “c’mon Pads, you can do better than that”

“Fine, I’ve got a better one” huffs Sirius. “What does the perverted frog say?”

“I dunno” you reply again trying to keep a straight face.

“Rubbit” he replies.

This joke was much funnier than the last and you burst out in laughter. You have joyous tears of laughter pouring down your face as you giggle until your sides hurt.

After a while you yawn and rub your eyes, Remus smiles affectionately at you before moving you off of his lap changing positions so that you are laying half on Remus’ chest with Sirius spooning you from behind.

“C’mon darling, let's get some sleep,” he says quietly.

Sirius buries his face in the back of your neck before mumbling out a quick “I love you”

You settle down into their embrace, relaxing all of your muscles and just as you are dozing off to sleep you feel Remus run his hand through your hair as he whispers “I love you darling, more than you will ever know.”

[idy-ll-ique]

I'll Hold Mine.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Requested: Nope

Warnings: None

Genre : Pure fluff

Summary: Y/N has stuffed toys. She's ashamed of telling anyone else she has stuffed toys. Bucky doesn't understand why, they're so cute after all!

Author's Note: Hiya peeps! Before you ask, yes, I was screaming the whole time while writing— this wasn't what you were gonna ask? Oh. Enjoy!

---

Bucky Barnes stared as the woman walked into the communal area, bleary eyed. "Y/N, good morning! Had a good night's sleep?" Clint asked her. Bucky quietly watched as Y/N nodded, but he knew she was lying. "Good morning to you two," she greeted them, giving them a small smile. Clint, about to walk out of the room, ruffled her hair and left.

"You're lying."

"Pardon?" Y/N blinked, staring at Bucky as she waited for her coffee to be prepared. "You didn't sleep well, I can see it all over your face," he rephrased, taking a sip of his coffee. "Fine, you caught me!" she groaned, "I didn't sleep last night." Bucky frowned when the woman plopped down next to him, clutching her mug with both hands.

"Why not? Is everything okay?" he asked worriedly. "It's embarrassing and I'm not going to tell you." She refused to speak after that. Embarrassing? Her? In his eyes, never. He didn't press on, though, silently offering his sad friend some company. When he heard a sniffle, he couldn't help it.

"Tell me what happened. I promise I won't judge you," he insisted, turning to look at her. "It's just— it's just that—" Y/N took in a shuddering breath. God, why was she making a fool of herself in front of her crush?! "Morning, people! Oh, oh no, I picked a bad timing—" Bucky and Y/N both turned to Tony, who slowly backed out of the room.

Nope, she wasn't doing it.

"I'm sorry, Buck," she mumbled, got up, kept her mug away and left. Bucky nearly crushed the mug he was holding, cursing Tony because why did he have to walk in just as Y/N was opening up to him?! He huffed and sat alone, drinking his coffee in misery.

The thing is, Y/N was great friends with everyone. She was loud, cheerful, funny and excruciatingly beautiful— you get the gist. Not with him, though. Around him, she was always quiet, shy, meek… submissive, in a way.

Hey Y/N, can you pass me that bottle?

If it were anyone else: "Your legs finally give up on you? About damn time." With him? "Yeah sure, here you go." She never, ever talked witty with him. Something about her was off… was she scared of him? Bucky's eyes went wide. Of course, that was it! Y/N Y/L/N was afraid of James Barnes! Why, though?

He was always so good to her. Nobody minded teasing Y/N, sometimes going too far but it was all in fun and Y/N knew that. Bucky, on the other hand…

Roast Y/N or finish the bottle of beer— you always drink when it comes to her, simp!

He could never. He had no idea what her insecurities were, what if he accidentally pushed a button and she stopped talking to him? At least they still made small talk, if she stopped talking to him, he didn't know how he would live. "Hey, everything okay?" Startled, he looked up at Steve.

"Yeah," he cleared his throat, "Everything is fine, what happened?" Steve sighed and sat next to his best friend. "It's Y/N, isn't it? I know the look on your face," he chuckled. "She was crying," Bucky spoke softly, "And she was about to tell me what happened but Stark walked into the room. Then she left without telling me."

"Why doesn't she talk to me?" he continued, intently staring at Steve. "I'd think that's fairly obvious," Steve laughed, "The woman loves you. Classic traits of a crush, Bucky. She limits her conversations with you because she doesn't want to embarrass herself. She never talks back to you because what if you start hating her?" Bucky blinked.

"Me? Hate her? Not possible," he scoffed. "You didn't find out why she was crying, right?" Bucky shook his head. "Why don't you go to the privacy of her room and find out? No one will interrupt you there, you might form a good bond and who knows? That might be the start of a beautiful, perfect relationship."

"I can't just go there like hey we were talking and you didn't tell me something so I've come to find out, that's invading her personal boundaries! She'll tell me when she's ready," Bucky spoke indignantly. "She hasn't eaten breakfast yet, there are some muffins in the oven, why don't you take those to her room?" Steve suggested.

After a minute of consideration, Bucky agreed.

---

Three short raps on the door.

"Y/N?"

Inside the room, Y/N froze. What was Bucky doing here? She glanced around her room, horrified, because it was a mess. "What happened?" she shouted from inside. "I brought you some breakfast, thought you might be hungry." She was hungry, though. "Wait 5 minutes!" Bucky patiently stood outside as Y/N made her room more presentable—

By hiding all her stuffed toys.

Some went in the wardrobe, some tossed carelessly under the bed, some stashed in the bedside drawer until she was certain there were no animals on display. "I'm so sorry," she whispered to the toys before opening the door to her room. "Bucky! Thank you for bringing me food, come in! Sorry, it's a mess."

Bucky waved his arm in dismissal as he walked in, looking around the room. "Your place is beautiful," he commented, giving her a small smile. She blushed and rubbed the back of her neck, shrugging. Both of them sat on the bed and Y/N picked up a muffin. "What do you wanna ask me?" At the blatant question, Bucky looked up.

"Why were you crying?" Y/N sighed and looked at her lap. "Sorry if it made you uncomfortable, I didn't mean to," she muttered. "No, no, it did not make me feel uncomfortable, I wanna help you," Bucky answered, shaking his head. "It's…" "Embarrassing? We've been through that, I don't care." A small laugh escaped her lips.

"Fine, I'll tell you. Promise you won't laugh," she whispered. "I promise." Y/N huddled close to him in case someone was somehow listening to them. "I lost my favorite stuffed toy and can't find her." Bucky sat silently for a few minutes. That was her definition of embarrassing?! What's embarrassing about stuffed toys?

"Should I help you?" he offered immediately, smiling at her. "You don't think I'm crazy? I'm a grown woman who still has stuffed toys. Names and everything," Y/N exclaimed, her jaw dropped. Bucky shrugged. "Of course I don't think you're crazy. There is nothing shameful about stuffed toys, I think it's quite sweet."

"Really? Just when I thought you couldn't be more perfect—" Bucky laughed at her words. They quickly finished eating the muffins and then stood up. "Have you checked the whole room?" Bucky asked her. She nodded. "Yes! The drawers, the cupboards, the wardrobe, over and under the bed… she's nowhere."

"But have you checked the bathroom?"

A loud groan left Y/N. "That's it, the bathroom! Ugh, I was so sleepy last night but I had to pee so I went to the bathroom, might've forgotten her inside, how stupid of me! Damn it!" As she kept rambling to herself, Bucky walked into the bathroom and fetched the doll that was sitting atop the sink. "Here you go, doll."

Y/N looked up at the nickname. "Hah, doll. Just like the one you're holding," she joked, taking the doll from his hands. "Yeah," he whispered, "Just like the one I'm holding." Y/N froze when his arms went around her waist, pulling her close to him. Was this actually happening?!

Did her crush like her back?!

She wanted to scream. "Bucky?" she whispered as he continued staring down at her, a dazed look on his face. "Why are you so adorable, doll?" he asked instead, gently rubbing her bottom lip with his thumb. Y/N gulped at the shockwaves the action sent throughout her body. "You tell me," she retorted, her breath hitching when he smirked at her.

"Find your wits now?" he teased, leaning forward to press a kiss to her lips before she could answer. Shivers ran down her spine as she kissed the man back, clutching her doll tightly in her arms. Without breaking the kiss, Bucky walked forward until the back of Y/N's knees touched the bed. "Sit," he ordered and Y/N complied, looking at him with wide eyes.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Sleep."

Y/N blinked, expecting a sexy response but instead she got— "What?" she asked him, confused. Bucky knelt in front of her, taking her hand in his. "You haven't slept all night, doll, I need you to sleep. This—" He gestured between them, "—Has lots of time to happen. For now, all I want is for you to get some rest. You've had a tough morning." Y/N's eyes watered.

"Don't go away."

The way she said it was enough to keep him by her side forever and always. "Never, doll. Come on." He picked up the plate which was lying on the bed, dusted the crumbs off and lay down. Y/N lay down next to him, clutching her doll in her hands. She turned to face away from him as he turned, wrapping an arm around her, spooning her from behind.

"Thank you Bucky, goodnight."

He smiled and pressed a soft kiss to her exposed shoulder. "Goodnight. You hold your doll, I'll hold mine," he whispered, smiling when the sound of soft snores filled the room.

---

"Aye, sweet doll!"

"She is, isn't she?"

"You know damn well I wasn't talking about your girlfriend, Barnes—" Y/N burst out laughing as Sam and Bucky narrowed their eyes at each other. "But I was! Sweet doll." Y/N scrunched her nose as Bucky pressed his nose to her cheek, the stubble on his face pricking her skin. "Thank you, Sam, that means a lot."

"No worries!" He plopped down next to Steve, who was looking at them with a smile. After Y/N got into a relationship with Bucky, she was opening up more. She was no longer embarrassed about her stuffed toys; these people were her friends and they stood by her side no matter what, no judgement. That's all she needed.

Clutching her doll to her bosom, Y/N snuggled against Bucky's chest, resting her head in the crook of his neck. "All okay?" Bucky whispered to her, wrapping his arm around her as he brushed her hair away from her face. "Yeah," she whispered as Tony walked into the room, immediately getting hit in the face by a deflating balloon, "All okay."

"I love you so much, doll," he smiled, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead as she closed her eyes. "I love you too, Bucky," she smiled into his shoulder, "I love you too."

"As cute as all this is, it's your turn to pick a movie, Y/N so please, pick a movie."

"Hmm, I'm not in the mood… how about you pick one, Peter?"

"No! No, anyone but him!"

"Come on, we haven't watched Frozen 2 in a long time—"

"Shut up! No! Maybe give your boyfriend a turn, he picks better movies!"

"Never have I ever been so offended by something I 100% agree with."

"What do ya say, doll? Give me a turn?"

"Sure Barnes, whatever."

"Ouch."

"Deserved."

"Breaking News! For the first time in the history of the world, we're witnessing Y/N Y/L/N actively roasting James Barnes—"

"I don't mind anymore, everyone knows he's gonna come running back to me in no time."

"Hot damn!"

"Come on now, doll, you wanna be punished so badly—"

"Ugh, keep dirty talk out of this!"

Needless to say, movie night went great.

---

A/N: Thanks for reading! Leave a like if you enjoyed!

[totebagchiqbarista]

𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐞

Pairing: Luka Couffaine x Fem!Reader

Summary: When on Juleka’s birthday party sleepover, heartbroken Luka and Y/N are paired to be alone in Luka’s cabin for the night. What if they find comfort in one another, just for tonight...?

PART 2

A/N: This is a sneak peak of the story I’m currently working on! I’m not sure if I will ever publish it but I’m currntly trying to get some ideas so If you could give me some feedback on this I would be really grateful :)

“And Y/N you can be in Luka’s cabin with him” said Juleka grinning, as everybody gathered around her for the sleepover. A couple of them will be placed in one cabin, few of them, including Adrien, Marinette, Nino and Alya will be sleeping in the living room of the inside of the boat and only her and Luka have a cabin for themselves. 

She didn’t know what her friend Juleka was trying to do because the purple haired girl very much knew about Luka and Marinette. And her crush on Adrien. Placing them together just, wouldn’t work… A slight feeling of awkwardness travelled between Luka and Y/N as they looked at each other. 

“I don’t know what Juleka is trying to do” she started as she put down her bag with clothes in the corner of his room. Luka’s blue eyes travelled from the corner of his bed to her. He was carelessly sitting down on the mattress, strumming his guitar lightly. 

“You like Adrien?” he asked without thinking. There was no point in masking the truth, so she nodded slightly. “I’m not so sure anymore. But yes, he is kinda cool.”

There was no point in asking Luka about his love life as everybody knew about his crush on the clumsy girl from the bakery. And her desperate obsession over the young blond model.

As night came closer, the tension in the room rose and the two were practically unable to look at each other in the eye. Contradicting the warm day, chilly night took over the town like a dark baby’s blanket. Suddenly, it was significantly colder in the room. Shivering at the slight breeze coming from the open window, Y/N tensed as she walked around the room. Her steps were light and unnoticable, providing a feeling of a fairy in the world. 

“You’re shivering. Here, take my jacket.”Luka rose from his seat and walked over to his closet, pulling out a black jacket that was obvious to be warm. In a split second he handed it over to her. 

“So, sleeping arrangements...” he started, his usually confident posture was now somewhat...scared. “You can take the bed, I’ll be on the floor.” he finished his sentence. That was fine with her. As long as they aren’t required to share the bed, she is fine with it. 

Luka had a mattress on the floor for him, covered with blankets and pillows, It was right next to the bed but she didn’t mind. She found it comforting. Having somebody close to her made her calm. Especially now...

“Luka? Are you awake?” she spoke quietly, careful to keep her voice as low as possible if the boy she was craving was in fact, asleep.

Muffled sound of shifting on his mattress indicated he wasn’t. It was at that moment that she thanked every powerful force out there. “Yeah” he answered with a low voice.

“What are you thinking about?” she asked, crawling to the edge of the bed to look at him.

He was lying on his back, his blue eyes were pointed towards the ceiling. His shoulders twitched for a split second at her question.

“Her” the voice that was saying this now wasn’t the same voice she knew Luka had. He usually sounded confident, flirty, and kind. Somehow mysterious, even. But now, when he spoke it was filled with tears. The melody it made was sad and slow, spreading melancholy. The words no longer flew from his lips to her ears, but they struggled to get through. He was broken.

As if he quickly realized something, his eyes shifted from the ceiling to her.”Why can’t you sleep, darling?”

Without thinking twice, his hand reached up to caress her cheek and she fell into his touch completely taken by the softness of his skin on hers.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked again

She wished she could tell him. She really does want to. Oh, how she just wants to tell him everything. From being Bonita, to everything with Chat Noir, to Adrien who she thought she liked but now was not so sure. She wanted to tell him everything and cry into his chest as he hums her to sleep. But she couldn’t say a word. She was stuck. She had to be the strong one here, now. Luka needed comfort, not her. 

“Thoughts.” she answered as his worried expression looked deep into her eyes. “Just thoughts.”

“Adrien?” he asked carefully and when he saw her stiffen he quickly added ���I’m sorry, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to” his hand left her cheek as he felt he had crossed a line.

“It’s okay.” the feeling of sadness and disappointment hit her more when the warmth of his hand no longer rested on her cold cheek. She really was cold. Luka shifted his gaze to the ceiling again, unable to look at her again in the eyes. If only he knew he was the one she needed right now.

Maybe it was the juice she had earlier, maybe it was the feeling of lost love that wasn’t exactly a love, but she was confident in what she was saying. She spoke in a blink “Come here” earning a startled and blushed Luka’s face. He looked at her for answers and she just scooted to the back of his bed, removing the sheets so he could climb under them, next to her.

“Are you sure?” he asked, not wanting to make her uncomfortable.

“I’m sure. You need a hug, I need a hug. We both need comfort. If you want to.” she ended the sentence carefully as the confidence from just a moment before slowly faded away. Luka shook his head and carefully climbed to the bed next to her.

The warmth of her body felt comfortable to him. If he had to die now, he knew there was no other place he would rather be than here with her. She scooted over as the blue boy rested head on the pillow.Nobody spoke for a few seconds, nobody dared to move.

“I just want her to be happy.” he spoke, his voice breaking “But it hurts. I may not show it but it does hurt.” he said, turning his gaze to her as she pulled him in a tight hug.His head rested underneath her neck, as she pulled him close and tight. Her hands wrapped around him, afraid of letting him go. It was peaceful. It feels comfortable. 

“It’s okay, baby” she twirled her fingers in his hair as he reassured him. “It’s okay”

Luka didn’t say anything, he just pulled closer to her, taking in her gentle perfume. “Can we stay like this for a bit?” he asked shyly as his mind travelled to other places- Marinette.

“Yeah, yeah we can.” her body shook in approval and her lips dared to travel to his head. giving him a reassuring kiss. Nobody said anything anymore. Silence took over the form of two bodies intertwined so tightly, afraid of losing each other. Suddenly, the room appeared colder and the only source of heat was the person who was with them. 

When Y/N was sure the boy was asleep she placed another kiss upon his head speaking to herself. “Marinette’s a fool for letting you go. It’ll all be okay.” she finished as she herself drifted off to sleep still holding the body of the blue-eyed boy close.

[babybluebex]

next week [baron zemo x reader]

summary ↠ you're hired to give a message to a german prisoner, but you never expected to actually take a liking to him. pairing ↠ baron helmut zemo x fem!reader (y/n) word count ↠ 2.9k warnings ↠ explicit language, a bit of nonsexual choking, zemo calls you a bitch a/n ↠ after a week, here she is!! also, if there's demand for it... part 2? until then, enjoy! masterlist/taglist in bio!

The prison felt cold and unforgiving, and you instinctively wrapped your arms around yourself. You followed the guard down the halls, twists and turns with no hope of remembering the correct way out.You figured that they had designed it that way on purpose; nobody could leave and escape if the way out was a labyrinth. Finally, you were led to a man sitting at a desk. His eyes followed you as you approached, and it was only once you were fully in front of him did he speak. “Name?” he asked in German, and you cleared your throat. Your German was shaky, but would have to do.

“Zemo,” you replied. “I’m here for visitation with my husband.”

The man laughed a bit. “Pretty girl visiting her man in prison,” he mumbled. “Such a waste. Take off your jacket, Frau Zemo.”

You had no reason to be nervous, but you still shook a bit when you slid your jacket off and held your arms out for the necessary pat-down. But, as you pondered it, you actually had quite a lot to be scared of. The past three days had been hell, for sure. It started with a firm knock on your apartment door in your home of New York City, and you had opened it to see a man with a metal arm and surprisingly kind eyes. He had introduced himself as simply James, and he had told you that he needed you to do something for him.

“I know you’re Sokovian,” James had explained. “I found your name on a registry of citizens that were moved to the US following the Sokovia incident a few years back. If you do this for me, I’ll help you get access to the city ruins. You were young when you lost your parents, yeah? I know the feeling. Not having closure is… Awful. Wouldn’t wish it on anyone. But, in order to do that, I need you to do something for me?”

You had looked James up and down. “What is the something?” you asked.

“I have a friend,” he began and gave a little wince. “Acquaintance. Umm, I know someone who’s in a German prison right now, and he’s going to be a big help to me and my business partner. All you need to do is go in and give him a message.”

“What sort of message?”

“‘Winter’s coming soon. Next week, I imagine.’ Has to be that, verbatim; don’t say anything about who sent you or why. I’ve already got the meeting and everything set up, you just need to go visit him and give him that message.”

“What does that mean?” you asked.

James had hesitated for a moment, tapping his metal fingers against the arm of his chair. “It’s better if you didn’t know,” he said. “I need as little people involved here as possible. I would go in and give him the message myself, but I’m kind-of a wanted man myself. Will you help us?”

James had been thorough in setting up the meeting, even going as far as purchasing a gently-used set of rings for you to wear. He told you that this man, Helmut Zemo, had been in prison for seven years for a variety of things, the heftiest being murder. “He was justified, though,” James said, and you pretended not to notice his small “I guess.”

The guard said something into his radio unit, and you caught enough of it to know that he was approving you to enter. You knew nothing about this Helmut Zemo other than what James had told you, only the bare basics. Sokovian, had a family that was killed at the same time as yours. According to James, Zemo wasn’t dangerous. He would be more confused than anything, he told you. But, no matter what Zemo did, if he denied he had in you no right, you had to keep with it and deliver the message in a natural way. You were his wife, and you were happy to see him.

The light flicked on over the bed, and Zemo gave a quiet grunt of disdain. It was four in the afternoon, and he always asked for the light to be off. Four was when other prisoners were granted visitation, but he had nobody. Stupid light must have accidentally been triggered.

“Zemo!” he heard a guard call from down the hall, and he pulled himself from bed and approached the plexiglass divider that separated him from freedom. “I thought you said you don’t have a wife!”

“I don’t!” Zemo called back, an irritated edge in his voice.

He finally saw the guard turn the corner and approach, and his eyes instantly fixed on the girl that was trailing behind him. She was young, much, much younger than him, and strikingly beautiful. Maybe it was the seven years in jail, but he could have sworn that he was looking at an angel. She seemed nervous, and Helmut focused his gaze on the rings on her left hand. Before he could speak up and correct the guard that this woman wasn’t his wife, she spoke up. “My God,” she whispered in a soft English, her voice heavy with a familiar Sokovian accent. “Helmut, you look… Tired, my love.”

Zemo tried to gauge the woman. She seemed too green to be an assassin, so at least that was something. And she knew his name. How did she know his name? “I am tired, mein lieber,” he sighed, and he pressed his palms up against the glass. She stepped closer and did the same, laying her hands just opposite his, and he examined her rings. Small, simple, unassuming. Props. “You’re so beautiful.”

You gave a small laugh, one that you hoped sounded like a woman whose husband had complimented her. Did he really mean it? Or had he caught onto the act as well? He seemed smart, you had to admit. And he was handsome too. Though his eyes were dull and dark with exhaustion, they were still a lovely brown. His hair was messy but showed hints of ginger in the dark locks, and his scruffy facial hair accented his soft jaw. However exhausted he was, he was still quite the looker. And he was the first full-blooded Sokovian that you had willingly met since the incident. “Can I hold him?” you asked the guard, lowering your voice and tightening your throat to try to feign emotion. “Please?”

The guard blinked slowly, and he nodded. He translated the request through his radio, and, just a moment later, there was the loud buzz as the cell door was unlocked, and it slowly creaked open. You wasted no time in meeting Zemo at the door and throwing your arms around him, and he held you with the strength of a thousand men as you dug your face into his neck. He shushed you gently, stroking your back, and he pressed his mouth to your temple in a fake kiss. “Why’re you here?” he mumbled through gritted teeth, praying the guard hadn’t noticed it. “Who are you?”

“I missed you,” you whimpered into his neck. “I’m sorry, Helmut, but I moved to the States, and I couldn’t exactly tell people who I was or who you were or why I was living in New York alone but married--”

Zemo moved his lips from your temple to your mouth, and he captured you in a slow and deliberate kiss. Whatever game you were playing, he would join. What’s a bit of fun? Anyway, seven years was a long time to not even touch a woman. If he wanted to kiss you, you would let him. According to the stories James had told you about his family, you figured that he deserved it.

You finally pulled out of the kiss and embraced the man once more, and you mumbled, “It’s so cold in here, Helmut. How do you manage?”

“I make do, mein lieber,” Zemo said. “At least you’re here to keep me warm now.”

“Not for very long,” you said softly. Then, you looked over your shoulder at the guard, and you asked, “Ten minutes, yes?”

The guard nodded silently, and you turned back to Zemo. “Well,” you started, breaking away from him and passing your hand over your cheek to wipe up (nonexistent) tears. “Show me your room.”

Zemo gave a small smile and took your hand, the one with the rings, and you pulled you into the cell. You weren’t lying; it was awfully cold. The room was devoid of much of anything, just the bed and a small sink and toilet in the corner. Books were stacked up beside the bed, all dog-eared and torn at the corners, and a small woven mat was in front of the bed.

“You’ve taken good care of them,” Zemo said suddenly, and you looked away from the stack of books to see him holding your hand up to see the rings. “I figured you wouldn’t even wear them after…”

“What makes you think that?” you asked gently. “I married you, I’d never pretend I didn’t.”

“I love you,” Zemo said quickly, nearly interrupting your sentence. “I missed you.”

You nodded silently, and Zemo tugged you into him once more. His arms were tight around your waist, his hand stroking up and down your back, and he laid a small kiss on your neck. Zemo kept his mouth at your pulse point for long enough to gauge just how fast your heart was beating, and he nodded to himself. A spy of some sort. But what did you want?

You looked at the glass wall of the cell, and you saw that the guard had stepped away, and suddenly every piece of James’ plan fell into place in your mind. Like James said, he couldn’t give Zemo the message himself, and it would be weird for someone like James’ partner to come visit Zemo in prison, especially after seven years of absolutely nobody, so someone else would have to do. You, a young Sokovian girl, Zemo’s wife, made sense. But after seven years, what wouldn’t make sense was if the married couple’s first meeting was just a conversation through a wall. No, the only way it made sense was if it was a conjugal visit.

Fuck.

Apparently, Zemo had caught onto this quicker than you had. His mouth on your neck pulled away in exchange for your lips, his hands captured your waist, and he tugged you fully into him so that your bodies were flushed together. Your anxiety made a quick squeak fall from your mouth, and you covered it with a giggle; you were sure that, even though the guard was gone, you were still being watched. “Seven years hasn’t dulled your charms, so it seems,” you said, and Zemo laughed.

“Of course not,” he chuckled. His hands slid up your body, carefully delving under your shirt, and he added, “I haven’t seen you in so long, it’s almost like I’m starting from the beginning.” He pulled out of the kiss, and you saw his eyes canvasing you, and he said, “My name’s Helmut. And yours, beautiful lady?”

“Goodness,” you huffed. “You’ve already married me, silly.”

“Indulge me, mein lieber,” Zemo said. Even though it was an act for the security cameras, he truly wanted to know your name. Maybe, with that, he could piece together why you were there. “Won’t you play my little game?”

You rolled your eyes, but played along. You told him your name, and he gave you a tight smile. “Beautiful name for a beautiful girl,” he said gently, and you could see that he really meant it. Married or not, you could tell that Zemo-- Helmut-- was grateful for your presence. “Can I offer you a dance, mein lieber?”

You pressed your arms around his neck and laid your head on his chest, and he squeezed you in a tight hug. Softly, he began to hum something in your ear, only for the two of you to hear, and he sighed as the two of you began to sway to his humming.

“Who are you?” he whispered, planting a kiss on the side of your face. “Who sent you?”

You swallowed thickly. You remembered that James had instructed you not to speak of him, and you mumbled, “I can’t imagine how it must feel to be here.”

“What are you talking about?” Zemo snarled, and he pushed his leg in-between yours as an “explanation” for the sudden change in temper. “I asked who you are.”

“Helmut, you have to trust me,” you whispered quickly.

“Trust?” he huffed. “You come in here, lying about yourself, and ask me to trust you? You, the bitch who claims to be my wife? That’s a big ask, sweetheart.”

“I--” you began. You really didn’t want to anger James by breaking from the meticulous plan he had made up, but you were more afraid of the man between your legs at the moment. He was a more urgent threat. You took fistfuls of Zemo’s off-ginger hair and pulled him closer, pressing your forehead against his, and you whispered, “A man came to my apartment two days ago. He said he needed my help, and he told me to come here and deliver a message.”

To the outside onlooker, when Zemo put his hand on your throat, it might have looked innocent. Not truly innocent, but certainly harmless. But it scared you shitless. His fingers were strong, and his thumb dug straight into your windpipe. It hurt, and your throat immediately began to burn with the urge for breath. “I’ll ask again,” he said easily. His eyes were a new sort of dark, not by exhaustion or confusion or arousal, but by rage. “Who sent you here?”

“I don’t know who he is,” you said quickly. “I only know his first name.”

“Which is?”

“James,” you choked out. “Light eyes, dark hair, prosthetic arm.”

Zemo’s grip loosened for only a moment, but then his thumb went back to its place. “He sent you to give me a message, didn’t he?” he asked. “About the winter. What did he say?”

You felt lightheaded, but you tried to stand your ground. “It comes in a week,” you said quickly. “Please let go of me.”

“Why you?” Zemo asked. “Of everyone in the world, why you?”

“My mother was killed in Sokovia,” you said, and fought back the urge to gag. “I only found out because I heard her name on the radio. Her apartment is still there, and James promised me that he could bypass the military blockade and get me there to say goodbye.”

Zemo’s hand fell slack around your throat, then off altogether. He took a small step back, and his eyes fell to the floor as his brain whirred to life. “He lied to you,” Zemo said carefully. “There’s nothing left. Not when I last went, and certainly not now.”

Your heart sank, and you pressed your hand to your neck, right where he had been. “You’re lying,” you said. “Th-There has to be something there.”

“That military blockade is there to keep people from settling on the land,” Zemo said. “Most of it was taken by surrounding countries, but the worst of it was… Is, just barren land. There’s nothing left for you to mourn.”

“How do you know?” you sniffled. “You’ve been in prison for nearly a decade.”

“Because I was there,” Zemo said. “My wife, son, and father were killed there. You wasted your time coming here; James can’t do anything for you.”

You hesitated for a second, then said, “But you can, right?”

Zemo froze. It was momentary, and you wouldn’t have noticed it if you yourself hadn’t said the words that triggered it, but he let out a heavy breath and resumed with the close-quarters dancing, his grip suddenly gentle again. “What makes you think that, mein lieber?”

“I’m not stupid,” you chuckled lightly. “I was young when I lived in Sokovia, but I recognized you when I saw you. Baron Helmut Zemo, locked up in a German prison; how aristocratic is that?”

“I have no power anymore,” Zemo mumbled. Sometimes, he nearly forgot his lineage, especially since the country he served didn’t exist anymore past his memories. “I cannot do anything.”

“Right,” you whispered slowly. “I figured as much... Who is James?”

“A man that I used to know,” Zemo said. “A man that I’ve never been friendly with, which is why I’m surprised that he would seek me out. He didn’t say why he was coming, did he?”

You shook your head, and Zemo laughed humourlessly. “Of course he didn’t,” he mused. “Shouldn’t have expected that… Next week? Guess I have to keep you here, make sure I stay plenty warm, huh?”

“I wish,” you chuckled. “You are rather cute, Helmut.”

Helmut Zemo laughed, the tops of his cheeks going pink. “And you tease me about my charms,” he said, his voice finally above a whisper; suddenly, the act of estranged husband and wife was back. You could easily pass off the bought of anger and crying as Helmut being too passionate, as Sokovians tended to be. “If you don’t watch yourself, Y/N, I might have to marry you all over again.”

[tendousthoughts]

Yo yo yo... god that cringy but anyway! I would like to request something that I saw on another blog. It’s when the s/o has a fight with the boys and after it the boys go to the bedroom or somewhere to be alone but when they come out they see that their s/o is gone. In reality they just went outside for a walk to clear their head but our precious boyos panic that they left them for good.

I hope I explained that well I’m pretty new to requesting and stuff but I really love what you’ve written so far on your blog🥺

HQ Boys Thinking Their S/O Left Them Pt. 1

Character(s) included: Sakusa & Iwaizumi

Warning(s): Foul language (cursing), flinching

Song of the day: Meteor Shower by Cavetown

A/N to ask writer: Heyo! Thanks for enjoying my content! I love this idea, thanks for sharing. If you were looking for a specific character(s) to be put in this prompt go ahead and shoot me a pm/dm, write another message in anon or non-anon, or just comment on this!

A/N: Heyo as you can see I’ve added a new section for people who are my ask box writers in answering too! I got some new rps but if anyone wants to chat! This prompt gave me a lot of space to work with and I’ve decided that it will always probably be a four part series as well or maybe five. I’m extremely sorry about the break I took. If you have any ideas what to call this please tell me lmao. If you have any requests please read my rules first! Sorry for my grammatical and spelling errors. Reblogs, follows, and likes are greatly appreciated!

Where to find all the parts!

Where to find all my content!

Sakusa

It was a one sided fight. As always. He was yelling and you just took it. It was your fault after all. You shouldn’t have touched his shit, but you did. So now you are here. Holding back your pathetic tears. A mouth full of words was pushing through your lips and soon they fell out. “Sometimes I wonder why you’re still with me..” you whisper, no longer able to push back your tears. “I mean I don’t know what you want from me anymore,” You mutter softly.

He sat their stunned for a moment, “Maybe I want to be alone, but fuck your so clingy and nosey.” He muttered softly. He looked up at you, disgust in his eyes. “You know sometimes I wonder what the hell happened to you at birth to make you this fucked up. We’re you dropped or something?” He screamed. His hands now balled up into fist. You’re scared. You’re not going to lie. As he steps forward you flinch and that brings him back to reality. Instead of saying something he backs off and slams the door. You sit there stunned.

“I’m sorry..” you whisper and leave, grabbing most of your stuff. What ever you can grab at that moment which happens to be your phone, keys, wallet, and jacket. You take a deep breath as you slip on your shoes and leave quietly. Locking the door after yourself.

I’m sorry

I’m sorry

I’m sorry

Your thoughts were all over the place as you got into your car. Grabbing your phone you turn it off. Not wanting any calls or texts. Expecting none, but that just might hurt you more. You take a deep breath and decide to drive nowhere on a random freeway. You start the car and leave.

Hours passed when Sakusa finally came out of the room, “y/n..?” He whispered softly. Now missing you as he didn’t know what he was doing. He looked around and soon realized some of your stuff was gone, and so were you.

He bit his lip running to his room as he called you. “Pick up.. pick up.. pick up..” he whispered.

Heyo! You’ve happened to miss me! I’m sorryyy but I am probably hanging out with my amazing boyfriend. Please leave a message and I’ll call you back soon! Anyways gotta go. I’m going to get in trouble with my boss if he catches me on my phone.

He bit his lip hearing the voicemail. It’s funny, he had never heard it before. Maybe it was because he never called and it was always you. Or maybe because when he did you picked up immediately. Unknowingly tears start to roll down his face. He fucked up. He knows he fucked up.

He lays down on the bed you guys share and just holds your pillow close. Tears rolling down his cheek. He calls again but waits till he can say something. “Y/n.. I’m sorry.. Please pick up. I’m sorry.” He sniffles as his tears fall. “I didn’t mean any of it.. please..” he whimpered softly as he knew it was no use. He ended the call and just cried for a few hours.

When night came he decided not to eat. He wasn’t feeling good as he tried to call you again. Yet not to his surprise he heard the same voicemail. Tears welled up as he heard your soothing voice. He couldn’t believe he made you so scared that you flinched away from him. “Y/n.. baby.. please.. I’m sorry.. I miss you.. I know I sound stupid and you probably want some space.. b..but please..” he hung up. Throwing his phone as he hugged your pillow closer.

At 11 pm you finally make it back. Hoping he is sleeping as you walk in. But to your surprise you can hear soft cries and whimpers coming from the room you share. You bit your lip softly as you gently put your stuff down. Softly taking a deep breath, you gently knock.

“Ba.. Sakusa..” You bite your lip as a couple seconds later you can hear the sound of someone fall or something and then you’re greeted with a tight hug.

“I’m sorry.. I’m sorry.. I’m sorry..” he whimpered softly as he just held on to you. “Please don’t go.” Fear was heard clearly in his voice.

You bit your lip. “Baby.. I’m right here.. take a deep breath.. I’m dirty Sakusa you gotta let me go..” you whispered worried how he might react later.

“No..” he whispered softly as he held on tighter. “P..please no..” he was scared.

“Okay okay.. I’ve got you.. no leaving..” you smiled softly as you gently held him. “I’ve got you..” you muttered softly. You gently held him kissing his head. You take off your jacket and make your way to the bed you guys share. Gently sitting down and Sakusa followed.

He hugged on to you immediately as tears flood his eyes. “I’m sorry.. I don’t want you to leave me and stuff.. I didn’t mean any of it..” he whispered softly “I love you so much.” He muttered.

“I love you too baby..” you whispered softly playing with his curly dark hair. “I didn’t mean to worry you okay.. I’m sorry baby..” you mumble softly.

“It’s my fault.. I got angry and I started yelling and.. a..and I wanted to show you how mad I was.. and I started to scream at you and I said that I didn’t want you to be so clingy.. I didn’t mean that. I missed you and when I went to find you I couldn’t.. and it scared me and I know I fucked it. And I know I shouldn’t have done that. When I saw you finch I didn’t know.. I..I just thought about how terrible I was acting and stuff..” he whispered softly. “When I tried to call you.. you didn’t pick up and then I heard your voicemail.. and I don’t know I just..” he was crying into your chest as he held on.

“Shush.. I’ve got you.. I’m sorry baby.. I know.. it was my fault okay? You didn’t mean too. I touched your stuff and I didn’t think about how you would feel.” You whispered softly, kissing his head softly. “I didn’t mean to worry you.. and you know I wouldn’t ever just leave you without saying anything. I won’t do that to you..” you whispered as he closed his eyes and just held on. “I’ve got you and won’t let you go I promise..” you whispered softly while holding him.

“I love you..” he whispered softly as he looked up to you. Tears in his eyes. “I love you so much..” he whispered.

“I love you too darling..” you smile softly. Holding him till he falls asleep. Once he does you close your eyes and fall asleep too.

Iwaizumi

He got jealous easily. Everyone knew that. He was the type to act on his jealousy. Not only that, but he acted upon them in irrotational ways. So when he heard that you were hanging out with a coworker, it wasn't an extreme surprise that he made a huge deal about it. Starting an argument as soon as you get back.

"Just tell me who the fuck he is!" He screamed, his voice echoed in the hallway. You weren’t even inside yet and he was already acting as if he was going to kill someone.

"Can I even just come in?" you look up at him. You’re clearly annoyed which might just make him more upset.

"Oh okay just come inside! Would you like something to drink too?” He said sarcastically.“Oh wait you went and had coffee already with this 'coworker'!" He screamed as you pushed your way through the door.

When you turn to him the door is already shut and he is waiting for an answer. “It’s a coworker I don’t need to repeat myself, and I won’t. I’m not going to not hang out with people because you want me too!” You scream. Here’s the thing. Your so fucking sick and tired of him pushing you around. You used to take his shit but a month or two ago you started to respond. There’s no fucking reason for his shit.

“Ya you know what. Maybe I would be okay with it if it wasn’t taking up our time together!” He screamed and at this point nobody is really understanding what the other is saying.

“Our time? Our time?! How fucking dare you. You’re always at work! I don’t get a word out before you kick me out of our office!” You look at him in annoyance.

“My work is something I can’t just ignore! So I don’t understand why you keep bringing it up! Your fucking coworker can wait can’t they? I mean you knew I was off today! Did the whole fucking date just skim over your head?” He screamed. Now everything sorta just clicks.

“Wait ba-” but before you can finish he had already left the room. A few brief seconds pass by and you are met with the sound of a door slamming. “Fuck..” you muttered softly.

A few minutes go by and you come to the idea that he wants some time alone. You are just coming home, and are already ready to leave. So you slip on your shoes and leave. Locking the door after you head out to go get some for him, full of his favorite snacks and stuff. Knowing full well that wouldn’t fix it but maybe it could make him a bit happier.

When you get to your car you get a pop up from your reminders app. You feel a wave of tears. “Fuck,” you muttered throwing your phone to the next seat over as you start to drive.

It takes about half an hour for him to notice you’re not there anymore. He doesn’t hear your footsteps or anything as he gets up to check. After a moment or two he knows you left for sure. “Fucking shit. Misses our date and then leaves..” he muttered softly as he headed to the shared room.

You arrived getting a few things as you don’t think about anything other than how to make him happy.

After an hour or two more he bit his lip softly now a bit worried if you’re okay. But he doesn’t call waiting an hour before he does so.

Ring…

Ring…

Ring…

Hello! It seems like you have sadly missed me. I can call you back as soon as possible! Just please leave a message! Bye bye!

It takes him a moment before he opts just to hang up. When he does he releases a shaky breath.

An hour later you get back with some stuff gently placing the stuff down as you take off your jacket and shoes.

Iwaizumi hears you scrambling up and running over. A sigh of relief falls as he sees you standing there. “Thank god..” he muttered softly, walking up to you.

You look over unsure what to say as you feel his arms tightly wrap around you. “I’m.. I’m sorry Hajime…” you whispered softly as tears welled up. You hugged him tight as you felt terrible. “I’m sorry…” you whisper again.

“Hey it’s okay.. I know you didn’t mean to.. I just.. I was upset because it feels like sometimes when I do make time for you something happens.. like last time and shit. But when I don’t it always seems like you’re free and I thought we knew we were both open today and I woke up without you there and then I found out you were having coffee with someone and everything just started crashing down you know..?” He whispered softly.

“I know baby.. I know.. I’m sorry.” You whisper as you hear soft cries come from him. “I’ve got you.. okay? I promise next time I will remember.. I know I messed up okay? You didn’t deserve that..” you whispered as he kinda just stays quiet and holds on. “I got you some goodies baby…” you whisper.

“Please don’t leave like that again.. it made me worried..” he whispered now finally telling you. “I thought you left for good..” he muttered softly, holding you “you didn’t respond to my calls either..” he whispered softly.

“I’m sorry baby.. I won’t.. and you know I wouldn’t do that to you.. I love you too much for that okay?” You bit your lip as you listened “I didn’t see them.. I’ll check why later.. okay? I’m sorry,” you whisper and kiss his head holding him close. Soon enough he drags you to your shared bed to cuddle.

“I love you..” he whispered softly, holding on.

“I love you too Hajime,” you smiled softly, kissing him. Soon enough he fell asleep, the stress finally lifted off his shoulders. You were in his arms again. That’s all that mattered.

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