#I’m heartbroken and I know that feeling is damn near universal

[afterplaidshirtdays]

This whole situation is so upsetting for everyone involved and the fact that it was completely preventable makes it worse.

[jannahime]

Metanoia

Synopsis: Shin Na-young a 28 year old marine biologist after finding out her fiancé cheated on her with her cousin Kwak Hee-mi, her heart broke into billions of pieces and she swore that if she had other relationships that she would not fall in love and she would break them before they would break her. She lost all faith in love, and she decides to drown her sadness and anger at a bar where she gets drunk and gets entangled with an important person in the business industry. She has a one night stand with the man and it’s then she realizes that she had a one night stand with her boss who owns the research that she works at. Her boss is automatically fallen in love with her, but she hasn’t so it’s up to him to convince her to give a second chance. 

This is a story I’m writing as a project. I hope you like.

True love, a timeless and universal concept that everyone can relate to. But, love at times can be awful and painful.

I myself was in love once. I thought it was true love. I thought we were simply meant to be.....but I guess I was the only one living in a fool's paradise.

Because after I found both my cousin Kwak Hee-mi and my son to be husband Hyun Seung-hwan together in our house in our bedroom....I was heartbroken.

I called off the engagement and continued to pursue my career in marine science to try and forget about him....but no one ever forgets their first love.

Love is nothing but a joke, a feeling that will only break your heart in the long run. And now....my heart is as cold as ice.

Mercilessly turning men down or breaking up with them first before they ever get a chance to either hurt me or just grow tired of me.

A few months ago:

I had fish to fry once again. I already knew my current boyfriend Song Myung-bak was cheating on me with Hee-mi.

I was always one step ahead whenever I found out he was slipping up a few weeks ago. Today I was out with my ¹Seonbaes in the ocean near the port of Gunsan. Jae-seung and I were swimming around looking for the leatherback sea turtle.

"²YAH! YAH! JAE-SEUNG AH! NA-YOUNG AH!" Yelled Cho Chang-woo with worry as he was concerned for their well being.

"³Hyung! It's okay! Don't panic! They're wearing oxygen tanks, remember?" Spoke Do Won-Sul calmly trying to calm Chang-woo down.

"I know! But it just terrifies me that they've been underwater for so long looking for that damn sea turtle!" Replied Chang-woo with worry.

"Oh come on Hyung! Look at where we are! We're at the ocean! Relaxing with our Hubae who owns a boat! And might I add that it's a yatch! And she's letting us have it for a whole month's vacation! Isn't it exciting?" Replied So Kyung-ho with excitement as he reeled in a fish.

"Yeah Hyung! Come on in! The water is fine!" Spoke Hwan Hae-il and Yeo Jong-soo in a relaxed state as they floated in the water with their doughnut floats.

Chang woo looked at them all with an annoyed look. "We already work in the ocean you idiots! Y'all treat our job like an everyday vacation you lazy brats! Plus I'm not a big fan of the ocean which is why I worry for Jae-seung and Na-young!" Replied Chang-woo firmly.

"Yah! Jae-seung ah! Na-young ah! It's time for dinner!" Yelled Kim Kwang-min at the top of his lungs catching Jae-seung's attention.

Jae-seung hears Kwang-min calling them and he turns to Na-young signaling her that it's time to go in which she nods her head slightly whilst giving him a thumbs up. Jae-seung and Na-young explode out of the water flipping their hair back looking like a beautiful merman and mermaid.

"Come on Na-young ⁴ssi! Kwang-min Hyung made ⁵Gopchang-gui and ⁶Kimchi!" Spoke Jae-seung with a charming smile as he ran his hand through his Carmel brown hair.

Na-young only gives him a small smile. "Sorry Jae-seung....but I can't join you guys for dinner today. There's....something I have to take care of." Replied Na-young placidly as she put on some mini shorts and then she dried her long, flowy, wavy jet black hair with a towel.

Jae-seung and the other's look at her with furrowed brows. They all know exactly why she's leaving. They already knew that her boyfriend was cheating on her and they didn't want her to think about it, which is the reason why they asked her to stay with them. But she refused.

"Na-young ssi.......are you leaving because of him? He's-"

"Jae-seung ah....I know you and everyone else know about Myung-bak cheating on me with Hee-mi. But you must understand that I'm going there to end things with him and I won't have mercy on him. So don't worry about it too much, okay? After all, I do know self defense thanks to Young-jae oppa." She says with a small smile on her face.

"Na-young ssi? Young-jae Hyung is on the phone for you!" Spoke Hae-il casually as he pointed at the boat's phone.

"Seonbae....tell him I'll call him later.....I'll see you guys another time. Have fun on the yacht! Take all the time you need, there's no hurry." She says with a small smile as she gets on her motorcycle and she drives away.

"Na-young!-"

"Enough Jae-seung. She has to finish this on her own. We can't meddle in this affair even if we want to tear Myung-bak apart." Replied Chang-woo firmly with a sigh as he and the others went to go eat.

Jae-seung could only watch Na-young drive away. He clenched his fists tightly as he turned to join the others for dinner.

I knew what I was expecting when I got home. But somehow watching it all unfold right in front of me hurt so much but all I felt was rage towards these two scumbags.

I slammed the door to our bedroom open in which they both jolted in surprise. Myung-bak was under the sheets of the bed towering over Hee-mi who continued to act all innocent.

"Na-young! Baby! I-Thought you were-" but before Myung-bak could finish his sentence I violently slapped him across the face once making sure that it hurt like a bitch and left a big red mark on his face.

"CUT THE BULLSHIT SONG MYUNG-BAK! PACK ALL OF YOUR STUFF! I WANT YOU OUT OF MY HOUSE NOW!" I bellowed with fury as I looked at him with rage.

Myung-bak grabbed at his face as he stared daggers at me for slapping him. "WHY YOU CONNIVING WENCH! HOW DARE YOU-"

"I TOLD YOU THERE WOULD BE DIRE CONSEQUENCES IF YOU EVER CHEATED ME! YOU VIOLATED THE CONTRACT AND FOR THAT YOU MUST PAY SEVERELY!" I continued to bellow with rage. Hee-mi only smiled in amusement as she was enjoying seeing us fight.

Myung-bak still looked at me with rage. And he acted as if he didn't remember our dating contract. "WHAT FUCKING CONTRACT!? I DON'T REMEMBER EVER SIGNING ONE!" feigned Myung-bak acting as if he didn't remember about the contract.

"You really want to play this game? Fine! Here's a copy of the contract that you signed. Look at line 5 of the contract you simpleton." I replied firmly as she threw him the contract.

Myung-bak grabbed the the papers and he reads line 5 out loud. "Line 5. If a so -called boyfriend becomes unfaithful to party one (Shin Na-young) or what they (party one) think is unfaithful, party two (Song Myung-bak) must collect his things and leave. But before party two (Song Myung-bak) can leave he must also return everything thing they took from party one (Shin Na-young) with or without permission, this includes treasured valuables, expensive items, money, etc. party two (Song Myung-bak) will also stop getting assistance from party one (Shin Na-young) and their family on party two's (Song Myung-bak's) company and will be shut down immediately due to party two's (Song Myung-bak's) Malevolent ambitions etc. Therefore, party two (Song Myung-bak) is no longer associated with party one (Shin Na-young) nor party one's (Shin Na-young’s) family. WHAT!? YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!-"

"I JUST FUCKING DID! FOR FIVE PAINSTAKING YEARS YOU'VE TREATED ME LIKE SHIT! YOU HAVE A LOT OF DEBT THAT YOU OWE ME...SINCE YOU HAVE A LOT OF FREE TIME YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO PAY ME BACK BY THE END OF THIS MONTH. IF YOU FAIL TO DO SO, YOU WILL BE HEARING FROM MY LAWYER AND YOU KNOW HOW MERCILESS YOUNG-HO OPPA IS AS A LAWYER ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU MESS WITH ME HIS LITTLE SISTER." I bellowed with fury as I stared at Myung-bak with a cold glare.

"YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! IF IT WASN'T FOR ME! YOU WOULDN'T BE WHERE YOU ARE TODAY! YOU NEVER NOT ONCE PAID ATTE-"

"WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I WAS SICK FROM ANEMIA? WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I WAS STRUGGLING MENTALLY FROM MY DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY WITH ALL THE STRESS I HAD WITH MY OLD JOB? WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU WHEN I WAS DISCRIMINATED AND TREATED UNJUSTLY AT MY OLD JOB!? I WAS THE ONLY ONE TRYING IN THIS ONE-SIDED RELATIONSHIP! I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO REMEMBERED OUR ANNIVERSARIES! I TRIED TO SPICE UP OUR LIFE BUT YOU WERE TOO BUSY PLAYING FIND THE CANNOLI WITH THIS BITCH! WHEN YOU HAD SOMETHING ALWAYS TROUBLING YOU I WAS THERE! YOU MADE ME MISERABLE AND LIKE AN IDIOT I STILL LOVED YOU..... AND NOW LOOK AT WHAT I'M DOING RETURNING YOUR KARMA. DOESN'T FEEL GOOD BEING TREATED THE WAY YOU TREATED ME NOW DOES IT? THAT MUST SUCK FOR YOU. YOU HAVE 12 HOURS TO GET ALL YOUR THINGS AND GO BEFORE A DEMOLISHING COMPANY COMES AND DESTROYS THE HOUSE." I growled with fury as I continued to give him a cold indifferent glare.

"YOU RUINED EVERYTHING! I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS!" Growled Myung-bak as he then reached for my neck when suddenly he was thrown back to the wall crashing into it.

I turned around and saw my eldest brother Young-Jae breathing heavily with rage. Young-Jae oppa is an MMA fighter and he punched Myung-bak in the gut so hard that it knocked him out.

"O-OPPA!" I yelled with shock as I saw my eldest brother seething with rage.

"NO ONE LAYS A FUCKING FINGER ON MY BABY SISTER! ESPECIALLY A PATHETIC EXCUSE OF A MAN LIKE YOU! GRAAAAH!" Growled Young-jae as he charged towards Myung-bak grabbing him by his collar and punching him violently in the face.

As Young-jae was about to punch Myung-bak once more. I stepped in and grabbed onto Young-jae's arm trying my best to stop him from delivering the blow.

"OPPA! STOP! HE'S NOT WORTH IT! LET'S GO HOME! PLEASE!" I yelled desperately trying to calm him down.

Young-jae looked back at me as I gave him a pleading look and he sighed heavily in defeat. He drops Myung-bak on his bottom and then he turns to look at Hee-mi who continues to look on with a mocking smile throughout the whole ordeal. This enrages my elder brother even more but I step in with my back turned to him as I give Hee-mi an icy indifferent glare.

"Awe! What is it cousin Na-young? Are you angry because I keep ruining your relationships? It's not my fault they think you're nothing but an ugly potato and a worthless nobody. It's not my fault that I'm so beautiful and most wanted of all." Smirks Hee-mi smugly as she twirls a few strands of hair with her fingers.

"YAH!" Bellowed Young-jae with a wrathful expression.

I held up my hand to stop my older brother from trying to tear Hee-mi apart as I looked back at him with a death stare. Young-jae only sighed and nodded his head. I turned my attention back to Hee-mi.

"Kwak Hee-mi...you only ever brought me pain and I'm sick of it. To say I tolerate you is a vast overstatement. For 8 years you kept tormenting me and I still don't why but I won't let a cheap expired coupon like you try to bring me down again. The only reason I let you get this far is for more of the reason to expose you." I reply firmly as I now grab Hee-mi's hair and I pull her hair down in which Hee-mi begins to panic seeing how freakishly strong I am.

"This is my one and final warning that I'm giving you....back off before you really wreck yourself! And I'll tell you this right now, you keep this up and you're really going to see what I'm made of and I won't have mercy! You're the reason why the gene pool needs a lifeguard." I replied indifferently as I threw Hee-mi back violently to the wall. She looked terrified.

I then turned on my heel and walked away from the house. Young-jae glowered at Hee-mi as he began to smirk smugly. "Mind her words Kwak Hee-mi....She's not the old Na-young you used to know. If she wanted to.....she could have kicked your ass now but unlike you she's a classy woman." Young-jae laughs at Hee-mi in mockery.

Young-jae then turned his attention to Myung-bak. "And you asshole! You better do as my sister says! Return everything that belongs to her and I mean all of it! You got less than 12 hours or I will personally be the one to annihilate you! UNDERSTAND!" Growled Young-jae as he threatened Myung-bak.

Myung-bak only nodded his head frantically as he hurried to get everything ready. Young-jae only laughed and walked away. Hee-mi only glared daggers at him. "Damn you and Na-young! I'll get y'all back! You'll see!" Thought Hee-mi to herself as she slammed her fists on the bed.

___________________________________________

¹(senior colleagues or mentor figures.)

²(a form of saying Hey in Korean.)

³(Means older brother either by blood related or an older male in the group.)

⁴(commonly used honorific amongst people of equal speech level.)

⁵(Gopchang-gui grilled beef small intestines.)

⁶(kimchi Slightly spicy Korean sauerkraut made from fermented vegetables Napa Cabbage, Daikon Radish, and carrots.)

[0mrs-evans0]

𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: ~4,5k

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: You don’t have a high tolerance for alcohol. You’ll regret that tomorrow but now you can just tell your sugar daddy what an asshole he is. Or… Ransom’s getting back what belongs to him.

𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩: Sugar Daddy!Ransom Drysdale x Sugar Baby!Fem!Reader

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: dub-con (just to be safe); somnophilia (but reader wakes up and wants it so you know…); angst; heartbroken; drinking alcohol; some flirting; explicit language; explicit sexual content; a rollercoaster of emotions (like really); possessive behaviour; some aggression (not against reader); fighting; smut; pussy eating; sex talk; piv sex; vaginal penetration; daddy kink; (let me know if I forgot something)

𝐚/𝐧: So… I may get a little longer with this one than I intended to at first. Also, it took me more time than I wish it would but I'm really proud of this fic. Thank you all for the incredible feedback I got from you!! <3 Also, I will start doing taglist, let me know if you want to be added!!

This is part 2 of 𝐬𝐮𝐠𝐚𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐞

if you want to be added and be notified of any of my fics, please fill this form out

you can find my masterlist here

If you read and like my fics - please give a like, leave a comment and reblog so other people can find it ♥

(badly checked; all mistakes are mine)

My blog is 18+ only!! MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!! The warning is given, you are responsible for what you read

𝐄𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲!!

“I think I’m in love with you.” You looked up at him. You weren’t the person to talk so freely about any of your feelings or emotions. Ransom was neither but his changeless silence was killing you from the inside. It wasn’t a good omen.

You didn’t even notice when tears appeared in your eyes, then went down - wetting your cheeks. Everything was too much for you to handle. You felt weak when he was like this - so closed and distant.

“You do what?” His expression showed nothing. Ransom was like a damn stone - you couldn’t read anything from him. And that hurt you. More than you could ever think. “Y/n…” He has never used your full name, only when he was angry or disappointed. “Are you stupid or something?” He pushed you off of him, your body end up on the too cold for your liking bed. It was always too freeze when he wasn’t near you. “I don’t love anyone but myself. I thought you understood that!”

You felt heartbroken. He didn’t love you back. He didn’t need you. Not like you needed him. God, how someone can be so stupid?! Regretting took better of you. “Ransom, please…” You didn’t even know what you have been pleading for. “Just forget about it! I didn’t think clearly, I didn’t mean that! I…” Tears were flowing down your reddish cheeks.

He didn’t let you finish. You could just watch him stand up off of the bed, looking for his strewn around clothes. Ransom got dressed, he didn’t look at you - even for a second. “Don’t call my number ever again.”

That was the only thing he said before he left. You truly were fucked.

------------------------

Time went on. Second after second, minute after minute, hour after hour, day after day. He didn’t show up at your apartment even once. Ransom remove you from his life. You didn’t feel any better. Couldn’t feel any better. The love of your life didn’t want you. How could you just forget about it?

You were at risk of being expelled from college. You haven’t shown up at the university even for a damn minute after that feral night. The only thing you could do was lie down on your bed. The smell of him was still noticeable at the shirt you were wearing all the time. It was healing your shattered nerves a little.

Your obsessive thoughts were interrupted by the loud sound of an incoming call. Reluctantly, you lifted yourself up, resting your weight on your elbows. You wiped your swollen eyes and only then glanced at the phone lying next to you. It was Marta - your best friend. You met her because of him.

You wondered for a moment whether to answer or not, but you couldn’t just get her out of your life. She was like a sister to you. Always kind and wonderful. You picked up at the last minute.

“Y/n…” Marta’s voice was quiet. She was talking to you as if you were a child. Didn’t want to scare or push you too far. She was like a ray of sunshine - hope. The most important person just after Ransom in your whole life. “I know it’s really hard for you but you can’t lock yourself because of some asshole!” There was a distinctive accent in Marta's voice.

You inhaled nervously. You knew that sooner or later she would try to get you out of your asylum. However, you did not think it would happen so quickly. “Marta, please…” You started quietly. “I’m not feeling very good. Definitely not to go to other people.”

The girl growled straight into the cell. She couldn’t stand this shit. Marta wanted to rip this motherfucker’s dick off just when she heard what he has done to your mangled heart. You didn’t deserve any of that.

“Listen...” Her voice was now strangely soft. She wasn’t the one to give up. Not then, when her best friend was going through one of the worst moments of her life. “I understand that this little piece of shit really hurt you. And I’ll make sure that he’ll regret all of that but you have to live your life!” Marta got emotional once again. “You’re young! You have to enjoy the benefits of that!”

Denying her was getting harder and harder. You didn't want her to be unhappy because of you. “Please…” Marta started again. “Just one drink!” You could sense the excitement with which she said those words.

“Just one drink!” You repeated. You couldn’t believe you succumbed to her again. “And not even one more!”

“Ahoy, captain!” She started laughing. And you did too. She was your sunshine after all.

------------------------

Wearing a red short dress, you felt like former yourself again. Make-up kept you from scaring anyone with that appearance. Bags under the eyes weren't sexy. Glossy lipstick made you way more confident.

High heels tapped loudly against the floor when you left your apartment. You will fucking entertain yourself tonight. You won’t think even for one moment about him. He won’t make you feel bad again. Thoughts drowned out everything around you. You decided that for once you can allow yourself to be forgotten for a moment. You only have one life in the end…

------------------------

“God, you’re gorgeous!” Marta squealed at the sight of you. “I’ve missed so much this side of you!” She was extremely happy that she finally managed to get you out of your bed. Her only job today was to make herself and you unconscious drunk. She decided to make sure that you relaxed. No dick could stop her, not even Ransom.

You just smiled at her words. For the first time in days. Maybe that was a good idea after all. Definitely better than rotting alone in bed. “I’m glad you persuaded me to do this.”

It wasn't even two minutes and you were already at the bar. Marta ordered five shots for each of you. It was just the beginning of your night.

It was wonderful to live life to the fullest again. Pretend you're not heartbroken. You knew the grey reality would come back the next day. But now you can do everything in your power to forget about the man who unlawfully broke into your heart and decided to tear it out without any qualms.

“C’mon dance!” Marta tried to shout over music that was much too loud for your liking. You didn’t think much about it. She took one of your hands and walked you both to the dance floor.

When Marta heard her favourite Rihanna’s song she squealed with joy. The beat only turned her up even more. It was the perfect opportunity for you to entertain yourself.

The woman winked at some guy and called him out. It really took your breath away when he came towards you. He was handsome. Incredibly handsome. But there was one weakness in a guy you just met. He wasn’t him.

After a while, the three of you danced together, rubbing against each other from time to time. You rejected any remorse you felt. He probably didn't even think about you, so why should you torture yourself?

------------------------

Another day and Ransom was soaking. What went awry in your relationship? He didn’t know that. Always thought that everything was great between you. The perfect solution for both of you. Well… He was wrong.

There wasn’t even one minute that he wasn’t thinking about you. Your pretty smile, incredibly e/c eyes. You were his little perfect angel. He wanted you to be next to him, tell him that everything will be okay.

Ransom wondered if you were thinking about him. You probably did. Not once, when he drove past your apartment, he would stop in the parking lot and glance at the windows. The man wanted to come in and tell you he understood his mistake. That you were not indifferent to him either.

Ransom never thought that he was capable to love someone other than himself. Not with parents like that, but then you showed up and everything went to fuck. He had a solid future. A job at his grandfather's publishing house. But everything seemed insufficient without you by his side.

Furiously, he threw his glass against the apartment wall. The white paint was stained with remnants of alcohol, but Ransom couldn't care less then. His heart screamed at him what of an idiot he had been for spurning you and your feelings away. He knew perfectly well that they were sincere. Still, he couldn't appreciate them at that moment.

Without thinking about the consequences, he pulled out his phone and dialled your number. Ransom needed to hear your beautiful voice. You were like a cure for all evil to him. When he was with you, he couldn't think of anything else. But of course, he had to screw everything up - as always.

Already on the second ring, he gave up any hope. Why would you want to talk to him now? Ransom knew that he treated you like shit then, leaving with a bang on the door, even though he knew how difficult it was for you to openly talk about feelings and emotions. You were the same after all. Like two drops of water.

For the first time in many years, he cried like a baby. He couldn't bear the feeling of his heart falling apart. The worst thing was that he had earned such a fate himself.

------------------------

Three tequilas. It took you three tequilas to dare to do what you have not been able to bring yourself to do for a long time. You called Ransom. You called motherfucking Ransom. The prick that broke your heart and left it in pieces.

You wanted to tell him how much you miss him. How much you would like to never meet him. He hurt you so bad but you still couldn’t hate him. You didn’t know how to live without him near you. It was too hard - thinking about him all the time.

You were standing outside the club Marta brought you to. You needed to sober up a little. The cumulating feelings were the reason why you couldn’t stop yourself from dialling his number. You didn't allow yourself a moment of weakness, but now you couldn't chase away the feeling of emptiness that only he could fill. When you saw that Ransom was trying to call you himself - something broke inside of you.

“Y/n?” He sounded surprised. For even a moment he didn't think you might want to talk to him. Not after what he did to your poor heart. “Everythings alright?”

Although you left the loud club, Ransom could hear the noise. The thought that you were having a good time without him couldn't leave the man alone. He knew he couldn't blame you for it. It was his fault only.

“Yeah, never been better!” You laughed at the phone. He already knew that you were lying. He recognized the weird tone of your voice. High pitched tone that you had when you were at the last moment from breaking down. “I’m way better without you, Ransom!” You said with a fake smile on your face.

His heart shattered. You didn’t mean that. You couldn’t. You were drunk and didn’t know what you’re talking about.

“Y/n, listen...” He started. “I think we should talk when you’ll sober up.” The thought that you can never forgive him was tearing a man apart. Ransom needed you to function normally. You were his little angle - his only support, the cure for everything bad. And he fucked this whole thing up.

“We have nothing to talk about, asshole!” Your nerves took better of you, couldn’t stop without telling him everything you thought right then. “You broke my fucking heart, you left when I told you how I was feeling about us both!” The tears appeared in your eyes but you wouldn't let them out. It wasn’t time for your fondness. “I would fucking die for you! But you would never do the same for me! You’re just a fucking prick that wanted to get his dick wet.”

Ransom wasn’t too strong that night. Your words made him cry. How could he treat you like this?! You deserved a word but the only thing he left you was a broken heart. “Honey…” He wanted to tell you that he loved you as well. Maybe even as much as you loved him. But it stuck in his throat.

“But you know what, bastard?” You wanted him to suffer. Make him feel things you felt when he was playing with your doll heart. “I’ve met someone new. And he's way better than you!” Your laugh only added to his pain. He felt as if he was about to die and you weren’t there to keep him in your arms. You were his judge. And you just wrote it at a loss. “With him, I don’t have to simulate my orgasms. He can make me feel real good!”

Ransom clenched his jaw. Even one thought about you with someone else made him see red. He was the only man that could touch you. You were his. And he was about to remind you that.

“You’re walking on thin ice, sweetheart.” Ransom reprimanded you. “Don’t forget the nights we had together. I don’t think you could fake these little noises of yours.” Your breath started to get sharp. “And the way you were clenching around me… Just like a glove!”

“For your information…” You couldn’t miss the opportunity to make him suffer a little more. “I’m not wearing any underwear.” The way Ransom cursed under his breath told you that you hit just a right spot. The one that hurt him the most. “And I’m just about to fuck him in a dingy toilet of the club.” Your smirk was so big - your lips started to get achy. “Hope you’ll get just as pleasant night as me!” After that, you’ve just hung up and made your way back to the club. You found Marta in the large crowd of people and started dancing. You weren’t thinking about Ransom anymore.

------------------------

Ransom called a cab almost immediately. He needed to get to the club as soon as possible. He wasn’t thinking about what he’ll do when he would arrive. The only thing he knew - was that you were going home with him that night.

His steps were decisive and very quick. Ransom needed to see you right and then. His nerves were on the very edge. You made him feel things he never thought he could feel. He acted like some crazy psycho but he couldn’t care less.

When he entered the club, the scent of sweat and horny people disgusted him for the first time in his whole life. It was his main meeting place with friends, but it seemed pointless at the time. The only right place to be in was his living room’s couch and you in his broad arms.

Ransom was so angry at you for making him that way. He looked around the room impatiently, but couldn't see you anywhere. When he was about to give up and return to the apartment, he suddenly noticed a red dress, exactly as he gave you for the anniversary of your cooperation.

His eyesight almost immediately travelled up your figure. The fabric perfectly hugged all your curves. The breasts were perfectly emphasized, he could not take his eyes off them. You looked so beautiful. And you weren’t dressed like this for him. This fact was like a knife stuck right in the heart. Ransom barely contained the anger that hit him the moment he saw some guy shamelessly grab you by the hips and pull you even closer.

He was about to intervene when all of a sudden you started to grab a stranger’s hands and made your own way with them all over your exposed body. You liked his touch on you. Ransom couldn’t believe that.

All he could see was read when he came over to you both. The feelings overwhelmed him when he pulled the man with an aggressiveness he hadn’t felt in a long time.

“What the fuck?!” Your voice brought him down to earth. You were shocked when you saw that the man who interrupted your dance was Ransom himself. “What are you doing here?!” You thought you were going to tear him apart when a rude smirk appeared on his lips. He liked all the fuss too much for your liking.

“I’m your prince charming and I’m saving you from this piece of shit.” His shit like grinning what making you even more frustrated. Even in a situation like that he was a fucking asshole. “You need me and my help!”

You scoffed at his words. “I don’t need shit from you, you prick!” All you could see was damn red. He was fucking with your feelings. Again. “I’m a grown-up woman and I can handle myself real good!”

“If I can say something…” The guy you were dancing with interrupted your exchange. He tried to stand up but the foot that Ransom put on his chest interfered with it.

“No, you cannot!” Ransom clenched his fits and grind out. “Get the fuck out of my way if you don’t want a broken nose!”

Andy, you that was his name, or maybe Ari had a scared expression on his face. He stood up too quickly and stumbled a little. Then he looked and you, but when he heart an angry grow from Ransom, he turned tail and left you alone with the jackass.

“So…” Ransom started. “Now that he finally butted out, we can talk like humans!”

You laughed loudly at his words. He sometimes could be funny. “Are you stupid?!” The look on his face had changed. “I do not want to talk with someone like you!”

“Like me?” He asked after.

“Like you.” You nodded. “Someone who’s playing with your heart only you to leave it alone when he’s tired of your damn vagina!”

A few heads turned your way. Maybe you said that a little too loud. But you could not give a damn fuck about it. Not when he was making an even bigger fool of himself.

Ransom had enough of that. He grabbed you by your waist and flipped you onto his shoulder like you weight nothing.

“Put me down, you fucking asshole!” You were yelling and pounding your fists into his back but he did nothing about that. Ransom was walking to the exit of the club, then to his car. “I swear to god if you don’t put me down right now, I’m gonna…”

He interrupted you by smacking your ass a few times. “I’m all ears…” He laughed at you. “What you’re gonna do?” He earned only a groan of helplessness from you. “Tell me!”

“Fuck you!” You hit his back again. You were just about to start another round of yelling when all of nothing you were threw in a passenger seat of Ransom’s Bentley.

The travel to his house was long, so after just a few minutes, you were fast asleep.

------------------------

Ransom knew that was not good. Pretty bad to be clear. You were so mad at him, but he still couldn’t help himself. Your body lying so close to his.

Just after a few seconds, the man found his place between your thighs. His hands gripped your flesh spreading your legs even wider, then ripped your cute panties to pieces and got to work.

For the start, his tongue movement was slow and steady. He hummed when he felt your pussy realising even more liquid. You bucked your hips a little, rubbing yourself against his face. Ransom looked up at you. You were still sleeping.

He showed a finger inside of you, his mouth balanced over your sweet pussy. He was looking at your face the whole time. You were moaning this whole time but didn’t wake up.

Maybe he was doing it wrong? Ransom smirked. His fingers shifted, fucking into you from a different angle. His palm was soaked with your juices.

Just when he was about to bring to an orgasm you woke up with a loud groan of pleasure. You felt confused at first, but when he continued to make you feel good - you couldn’t say no. He was too good at that. Ransom moved away from your pussy.

“Good morning, honey…” He said with a playful smirk on his handsome face. “Still mad at me?”

You didn’t say anything, just nod. “Hmm…” He pretended to wonder. “Maybe I should try harder?” The smile he gave you then, almost brought you to a heart attack. “But I cannot do that if you won’t beg a little, princess…”

You couldn’t stop yourself. “Ransom, please…” You smiled charmingly at him. “Make me feel good, only you can do that.”

“That’s not my name, princess.” He said grabbing your cheeks, making your lips fish-like. “What you should call me?”

“Daddy.” You kissed the back of his palm. “I should call you daddy.” You clarified.

“That’s right, baby.” Ransom gave your head a few pats. “Now, I can get back to work.”

His fingers started fucking into you at the brutal tempo. Your moanings and groanings filled the whole room. You missed him and his talented limbs. You didn’t need too much time to get to a climax. Only he could do that this fast.

“Cum for me, princess.” Ransom encouraged. “Do that for daddy.”

He made you hit your peak. “Daddy!” You yelled, falling against the cushions of his bed, trying to catch your breath.

“Mmmm…” Ransom started. “I’m so proud of my little baby.” He kissed your sweaty forehead.

“That was good.” You said after you got back to yourself from your mind-blowing orgasm. “But we still need to talk, Ransom.” Your voice was serious and intense.

“Yeah, yeah…” He had nothing of that. “But that’s not happening until I fuck your brain out.”

Ransom didn’t waste his time, almost immediately he got rid of his sweatpants. You looked down at his impressive cock. He was turning on even from watching you get your pleasure.

His growing erection was rubbing your clit as you grasped his arms tightly. “I’m gonna make you feel so good you won’t remember your damn name.” Ransom promised, kissing your forehead as his cock pushed into you.

You hooked your legs around his narrow waist, pulling him even deeper. He put his hands on your cheeks, rubbing them softly. Ransom’s head dropped to rest in the crook of your neck, kissing and biting love marks onto your sensitive skin. “Your body is so god damn precious, honey.”

You moaned his name, so loud, you were sure that the neighbours could hear it. But you were way too far gone in your pleasure to worry about things like that. “You will feel me for days, baby.” He promised. “I’ll make sure of it!”

Ransom grunted, giving your cunt a few more deep thrusts before he was pulling away. You whined your disappointment, but then he entered you once again with so much strength you thought you were seeing stars.

You shooked your head and closed your eyes as you felt the knot in your stomach tightening. Ransom’s breath hitched, announcing his imminent orgasm.

You didn’t need much time. After a few more moves of his, you were at the edge of cumming again. Ransom kissed your lips softly. His tempo was brutal but you loved every second of that.

“God, you feel so fucking good.” The man whispered into your ear. “Pussy so warm and so fucking tight.” His thrusts were even deeper and faster. “Only for me.”

“For you.” You repeated. “Only for you, daddy.”

He kissed your forehead. “That’s my good girl.” You smiled at his praise.

Ransom was stretching you out so sweetly, you couldn’t help but clench around his dick. He groaned and bit your shoulder. The sting from the wound didn't interest you very much.

His hips slapped against you and the pain-pleasure centre in your brain goes haywire. You moaned his name and begged him to go even harder. So he did that.

Ransom licked his thumb and dropped it to your achy clit. He purred into your ear: “Gimme another one, baby.” You were so close to cumming. His words only added to your pleasure. “I want everyone in this town to fucking hear you!”

A keening cry fell from your swollen lips with every slap of his hips against your own. You got louder and louder from second to second. Your nails dig into his shoulder, as you cum with a howl.

He followed close behind you. You felt like you were floating, the feeling so good, making you see stars. Ransom cursed under his breath. His cum flooding your still fluttering cunt. Both you and he could feel it leaking out around his cock.

The man gave your pussy a few more hard thrusts. He sagged next to you, catching his breath. Ransom was laying like this for a little, then pulled his soft dick out of you.

He stood up from the bed. You felt your eyes getting glassy, he was leaving you again. “Where are you going?” You asked with a broken voice. He didn't say a word, just make his way to the bathroom.

After a minute or two, Ransom came back with a wet towel in his hands. He cleaned your lower parts with so much love and affection you thought you were dreaming, and he wasn’t real.

“Baby…” The man started. “I have to tell you how sorry I am for treating you like that before.”

You looked up at him. “Ransom, look…”

“No.” He stopped you. He needed to tell you everything from the beginning. “Y/n, I was scared because no one before you was so good to me. You know how my parents are. I acted like a complete dick, and you don’t know how sorry I am because of that.”

Ransom took a deep breath and continued: “I used to have a girl a day, but I want and need you to stay.”

You couldn’t believe the words he was saying. This really felt like a dream to you. “I love you, baby so, so much.” He got even closer. “I can’t lose you, only with you next to me - my life means something.”

You kissed his lips tenderly. Your feelings were mutual. “I love you, daddy.” You said playfully. “So, so much.”

Ransom couldn’t believe his happiness. He got everything he needed. You near him.

[itsivyberry]

no longer his

Mako x f!nonbender!reader

Part 2 of number 1 supporter

request: could you please do a part two of number 1 supporter please. like what happens with Korra added to the picture? 🥺👉👈 (i absolutely loved it btw! great job!!! ❤️❤️❤️) [ @xxspqcebunsxx ]

a/n: thank you so much!!! I’m so glad you wanted another part, I’m so sorry it took so long! enjoy <3

warnings: heartbreak, Korra being a home wrecker and not my favorite person 😬 Mako also being a bitch, Bolin being the best ever. Some major descriptions of physical pain due to strong emotions ig

summary: Korra coming to Republic City not only ruffled many citizens, but also jeopardized Mako and Y/N’s relationship.

word count: 1276

song recs: it’s not the same anymore - rex orange county, another love - tom odell

gif credit: @bolin-hits-rockbottom

Korra coming to Republic City wasn’t all that bad, really. Bolin had already become fast friends with her before he knew her title.

Y/N and Mako were doing just fine, for the most part. Y/N continued to watch the pro-bending matches and practices. The only difference was that Korra began to watch with her, mesmerized by the swift movements of the brothers.

Korra hit it off well with Y/N. Neither of them had any issues, but Y/N made it obvious which one of the brothers was taken. Bolin was very forward with the avatar, making advances to get closer with her. Y/N was rooting him on, while Mako wasn’t the biggest fan of her. Y/N couldn’t quite pinpoint why Mako was such a jerk to her, especially since Korra was so nice to all of them and thanked them profusely for being her first friends in the city. His mood had decreased significantly since she first showed up before one of his matches, and it was taking a toll on Y/N’s attitudes as well.

~.•*✰

When Bolin began to show Korra how to bend during a match, Y/N could notice that she was almost trying to impress Mako with her bending skills. Y/N began to grow extremely insecure, her non-bending suddenly becoming something she was ashamed of. There was never any issues with her not being able to bend, especially when hanging out with Mako and Bolin, but now Korra was suddenly making her very self conscious about herself.

These feelings started piling up. Y/N felt sick whenever she went to pro-bending matches, worried that Mako would suddenly decide to take an interest in her instead of his beloved girlfriend.

It wasn’t long ago when Y/N thought Mako was going to propose, and now some random girl from the Southern Water Tribe showed up, introduced herself as the Avatar, and put a wall between the lovers.

Korra was also leading on Bolin, which made Y/N’s dislike for her grow tremendously. She had been hanging out with him, making advances with him, and accepting every date he threw in her direction, yet still disregarded his attraction to her and used him to get closer to Mako.

Y/N saw right through this, and would often confide in her old friend, Lu, from school that lived in Republic City.

“Maybe the Avatar just wants to be close with an earth bender and a fire bender.” Lu had tried to tell Y/N.

“No, I’m telling you. Bolin really likes her but she’s after Mako. I don’t know why she isn’t understanding that I’ve been with him for a very long time and that he won’t leave me for her.” But oh, how Y/N was so incredibly wrong in that moment.

Not only did Korra manage to break Bolin’s heart, but she soon enough ripped Mako and Y/N’s relationship to pieces when Bolin was on his way to get her flowers.

~•.*✰

“She’ll love these, Bo! They are gorgeous. Don’t you think so, Pabu?” Y/N gushed, picking a flower from the bouquet and lifting it up to the fire ferret who was sitting on her shoulder to smell. Pabu took a big whiff, squeaking and nodding in approval.

“Thanks, Y/N. And thank you, Pabu. Let’s go give these to her! I’m so nervous, but so excited!” Bolin exclaimed, practically vibrating with anxiousness about the girl he really and truly fell for.

As they walked throughout the city to the bending arena, they spoke on and on about anything and everything. Y/N had always gotten along with Bolin famously, which helped boost her and Mako’s relationship.

They reached the arena, and curled around the back near the large patio that overlooks the water and Air Temple Island. The sun had set almost half an hour ago, leaving a gorgeous array of oranges, yellows, and reds in the sky that reflected off the calm water’s surface. City lights were twinkling throughout the sky, and stars began to appear faintly.

“It’s a perfect night to do this. Wish me luck, Y/N/N!” Bolin turned, controlling his breathing and still shaking with anticipation.

Y/N passed Pabu onto his shoulders and adjusted the bouquet. “Good luck, you’ll do amazing. Just tell her how you feel and give her the bouquet!”

“Oh, please walk a bit further with me! You can hide behind one of the pillars, I’m just too nervous!” Bolin gasped out, out of breath from the nerves. Y/N begrudgingly agreed, eager to get upstairs and visit Mako.

She walked slowly along the edge of the railing, keeping an eye on Bolin as he walked.

But, something had stopped him in his tracks. His face grew immensely disappointed, angry, sad, and a whole jumble of emotions Y/N couldn’t name. Tears welled up in his eyes, the dim light on the walls making his eyes glisten. Bolin glanced over at her, his bottom lip trembling.

She hesitantly peeking out from behind the pillar, and was frozen just as much as he was.

There, right in front of the beautiful scenery, was Korra, macking her very own dearest Mako. A small puff of air escaped her lungs as she took a larger step towards the scene, dropped her arms & shoulders in defeat.

The very thing Y/N didn’t think would happen had came true. Her boyfriend, her love, her future, had cheated on her, with the very girl he had absolutely no previous interest of even being friends with.

Bolin blinked, and tears dropped to the marble ground. Y/N was crying now too, as she suddenly watched her future crash and burn. The two ahead of them broke apart, a smile growing on both of their faces.

That was, until Korra had looked behind Mako and saw the two people she was avoiding. Bolin, crying and holding a now messy bouquet that had been ruined by the wind, and Y/N, who was crying watching Korra help Mako cheat on her.

Korra never had any issues with Y/N. She’d always looked up to the girl, who had always gave so much love wherever she went and was never discouraged from people who made fun of her lack of bending abilities. But now, she had ruined any chance of being friends with her after she ruined the beautiful relationship of Mako and Y/N.

Mako was confused, and turned around to meet the eyes of his devastated brother and heartbroken girlfriend.

“Oh, no, no, no-!” Mako said, panic and realization setting in as he reached for his girlfriend. “This isn’t what it looks like!”

He was now running towards her, the tears streaming down her face more visible as he got closer. He stopped in front of her, putting his hands on her shoulders.

“I saw everything. This,” Y/N motioned between the two of them, “is over. Don’t ever speak to me again.” She turned and left, crossing her arms over her stomach to try to alleviate some of the pain that was reverberating through her chest.

“Bolin, please!” Mako’s voice cracked, turning to his brother to reason. Bolin angrily threw the bouquet at his feet, more tears falling on the slick ground.

“How could you?” Bolin asked quietly, furrowing his brows at Mako. He quickly turned and followed Y/N, catching up with her to comfort her.

Mako watched, defeated and absolutely broken, as his brother and girlfr- ex girlfriend walked away from him in tears and sorrow.

There was no recovering from this, and he soon realized he lost the love of his life and his very best friend, along with his last remaining family member that he loved so dearly.

And it was all because of the damned Avatar.

~•.*✰

a/n: okay so I really don’t like Korra like at all, I’m sorry if you do but I really don’t like her 😃 she’s my least favorite character in the atla universe so it was only fit that I wrote a literal hate fanfic about her. anyways Mako is a bitch in this but I love Bolin so I hope you enjoyed 🙄 also thank you for requesting, it meant a lot that you wanted more about a small silly little blurb I wrote from a separate request!! love you all <33

[velveticamoon]

‘LIMERENCE IN IT’S PUREST FORM’

DAZAI OSAMU X FEM! READER

— dazai finally takes off his bandages, but with that his insecurities seem to be bubbling up to the surface, scared that his s/o’s love for him may waver because of the imprints of his past upon his skin. 

WARNINGS: angst (but turns into fluff??), mentions of suicide attempts (it’s dazai folks c’mon-), self-harm mentions, implied sex, profanity

[lowercase intended] 

A/N: was this fic my way of professing my love for dazai? yes no ofc not. this gets so painstakingly soft at the end even i’m not sure how tf that happened but hope y’all enjoy nonetheless (feedback and reblogs are appreciated!! have a lovely day folks)

“are you sure about this?” you asked as you held his hand gently in the palm of your hand, the two of you sat cross-legged in front of each other on your bed. he sat with his clothes off, shirt discarded somewhere along the floor of the bedroom, his trench coat neatly hung across the back of your desk chair. he looked calm, despite the storm that you knew was brewing within his mind.

he slightly chuckled, his eyes closed for a split second before reopening, allowing you the chance to bask in the pools of brown that were being illuminated by the moonlight filtered through the window, casting a shadow over his form in an ethereal manner. how he always managed to look beautiful, no matter what it may be that he was doing at that moment? you’ll never know, but you’d never pass up the opportunity to bask within his beauty.

“if i wasn’t sure, i wouldn’t be sitting here in front of you like this right now, belladonna,” he said, in a hushed manner, not wanting to break the atmosphere around the two of you. he flipped his hand that was facing upwards, gently intertwining your fingers as though he was trying to calm you down. but you knew he wasn’t trying to calm just you down, for the slight shake in his fingers gave him away despite his smile-graced face.

you sighed, shutting your eyes gently for a second, giving his hand a light squeeze before reopening them to look at him.

“it’s ok to be scared, you know?” you said, watching his expression morph from one of calm to surprise, to genuine relief. if there was someone he was willing to let his guard down with, even if it was merely one of the many walls he’s caged himself in that surrounded him in an everlasting maze; it might as well be you.

“i’m fine love, but the longer you linger on this feeble task, the more i’ll be tempted to just rip them off myself~,” he said in a teasing manner. when in reality he knew that if that was the case, he’d most definitely shrink back within himself, too scared to let you know what truly lies beneath the shield of his bandages.

he just didn’t want you to abandon him, for he believed that someone as ugly as him didn’t deserve to be cradled so gently within the innocence of your touch.

“i just don’t want you to feel uncomfortable, i just.. i want you to feel safe with me,” you said, eyes looking straight into his, and he saw all the unadulterated love you were pouring into his being with merely your gaze, and he almost let his breath hitch because of how overwhelmingly in love he was with you, almost.

“i want you to do it, i trust you,” he said, his voice dripping with a sense of honesty you’d never heard spilled from his lips. that small reassurance was enough for you to finally grip the ends of the everlasting bandages layered over his skin, finally tugging at the bit that would begin the anticipated unraveling of the truth that lay on his skin.

this time, his breath did hitch, your ears caught onto it, and your eyes snapped up to meet his eyes immediately. “do you want me to stop?” you asked, concern laced within your voice, and that alone made his heart melt, the initial shock of the action fading away.

he brought his hand up to stroke your cheek with his thumb, the warmth from your skin sinking into his cool hands, a soft smile tugged at his lips.

“no, i want you to keep going,” he said, and so you did.

you slowly unraveled the rest of the slightly worn-out white bandages, to the point where the pull of gravity finished the job for you. you began gently pulling away the bandages and toss them to the side, only to look back and freeze.

scars upon scars littered his pale skin; some varying in sizes, some faded, but others still fresh. but in the end, the ones that broke your heart the most were the ones engrained on his wrists, indicating that the pain had been inflicted upon him by his own hand.

your lips parted, eyes wide, the shock was ever-so evident on your face. your fingers ghosted over his skin, as though you were afraid to touch him, which in a way, you were. not because you were disgusted, but the thought of you hurting him caused you to refrain from doing so.

dazai stayed silent while watching your movements, calculating his next movements to help stimulate you but to still manage to maintain his facade, but all his thoughts got cut off as he felt you pull him into your embrace.

“i-i’m so sorry, osa, none of- fuck- none of this should’ve happened to you,” you said. dazai could only stay silent as you held him.

dazai’s mind went blank, and he could do nothing but relish in the feeling of your arms around his being, actually getting to feel you without the bandages acting as a barrier between the two of your bodies.

“something as ugly as this shouldn’t have had to even be near your skin,” you said, but despite the sentiment that dazai knew you meant with the words, he couldn’t help the feeling of them rubbing him in the wrong way.

but he didn’t say anything, he just wrapped his arms around you too, and leaned his head atop yours, closing his eyes.

‘she thinks i’m ugly..’ the thought kept running through his head, no matter how much he tried to push it away. dazai had always been one to never let his insecurities show on the surface, but this was one of those moments where he felt as though he couldn’t possibly get more vulnerable than he already was. eventually, the thought had gnawed at him enough, and he couldn’t take it anymore.

with a sigh, he pulls away from the hug and asks “do you want me to put the bandages back on?”

you look at him confused, “does something hurt? if that’s the case, then go for it. otherwise, why?”

he shrugs, averting his gaze towards the blanket that laid beneath the two of you, and says, “i don’t know, i figured because you said that you don’t think they’re beautiful.. you didn’t want to look at them anymore.”

your heart shattered, and you couldn’t help but look at him in disbelief.

“excuse me?” you asked in an exasperated tone, you genuinely couldn’t understand where that thought came from and felt guilt pool in your chest when you realized.

‘he thinks i don’t wanna look at him anymore.. because of his scars..?’

your features immediately softened, and with the way you gazed at him with tears in your eyes, one could only describe your expression as heartbroken.

you cupped his cheek with the palm of your hand and turned his face to look at you, but his eyes remained averted.

you sighed, “osamu, look at me.” you said, voice gentle but held a sternness to it that he knew he’d be an idiot to refuse to comply with.

“what in the fucking universe gave you that idea?” you said, his eyes slightly widened, lips barely parted at the way your voice shifted.

but the thing that shocked him the most was the pure determination that was spread across your features. you gazed at him with such sincerity that he felt utterly enamored by it, almost getting lost in your eyes if it weren’t for your voice bringing him back.

“your scars, although yes, i don’t think they’re beautiful, i’d never want you to hide them from me. the only reason i don’t think of them as beautiful is because of the amount of pain i can only imagine that came with them. and it's ironic, considering i know how much you hate pain.. yet you’ve had to endure so much of it,” you let out with a bitter chuckle. “it doesn’t mean i would try to turn a blind eye and move on, as though they were never there in the first place.” you paused, forcing your throat to not close up on you as you spoke, trying your damn hardest to keep your tears at bay, to stay strong, all for him. you knew that that’s what he needed the most right now, and that became all the more prominent when you noticed the tears beginning to prick at his eyes as well.

you shut your eyes and took in a deep breath, trying to recollect your thoughts, before looking back into his eyes.

“when i told you i loved you, i meant it. every word,” you said, and his breath hitched at your words, but that didn’t stop you, no.

for nothing could stop the way your heart beats for the man in front of you. no matter how ugly the scars may be that were permanently ingrained in his skin, that wouldn’t cause you to lose sight of the true beauty that lies within his soul.

“when i told you that i love you.. i made a promise to myself. to love and cherish every part of you, the good and the bad, the quirks and the flaws, the beauty, and the pain. i promised to love all of you.. even the parts you’ve come to hate yourself.” you said slowly, with a bittersweet smile lining your features, dazai could do nothing but stare at you as you spoke your heart out to him.

“..why?” was the only word he could croak out. he internally loathed how weak and feeble he sounded in that moment, how he didn’t want it to show how much of an effect you had on him with just your mere words, but that was something that he knew he’d never be able to hide. everyone in the world knew that if there was one thing dazai would never lie about, it was his love for you.

you smiled softly, and brought your other hand up to brush the messy tuft of hair atop his head back behind his ears, and leaned your forehead against his, the one that was resting against his cheek reaching down and grabbing his hand with yours and holding it against your heart. dazai’s heart fluttered at how earnest you looked in that moment.

“because.. it’s you. it doesn’t matter to me which part of you it may be.. in the end, it’s still you, and that’s all that matters to me.” you said, and he immediately connected your lips with his, as though with the simple action he was going to be able to pour all the words he wanted to say to you at that moment into your heart and mind.

and it did. it always did.

when it came to the way he kissed you, you could always tell the meaning behind each one.

the playful kisses from when he’s running away from kunikida, always coming in the form of quick and rushed pecks, only for him to continue running right after.

tender kisses to your forehead when the two of you are in the comfort of your home where you both know that no one’s watching, the kind that makes your heart flutter in the best way.

the kisses that occur when he’s managed to come back from a dangerous mission, all in one piece and he always makes sure to come back and give you a lingering kiss, to reassure you, and him, that you’re both still there and alive.

and the soft and delicate kisses to your cheeks for when he’s feeling particularly nostalgic. whether he’s reminded of something from his past, or on the days where the remembrance of his dear friend oda becomes too much to handle.

you always knew the meaning behind dazai’s kisses, and at that moment you knew that the kiss you two shared was a symbol of both of your love being poured into one another’s souls.

the two of you parted, your foreheads resting back against each other’s, breathing slightly heavy from the kiss, but that didn’t stop dazai from murmuring the words ‘i love you’ against your lips.

and he meant it, because why lie about the one thing you’ve never been more sure about in your entire life? even if he felt as though he never deserved it in the first place.

you smiled, and he’d forever feel entranced by the way the moon now cast its glow along the features he’d always found himself to be completely infatuated with. the way your hair graced and complimented your entire being only added to that infatuation.

“i love you too, my beautiful prince.” your lips captured his once again. “let me show you just how much,” you murmured against his lips as you started to gently push him back towards the bed, trailing gentle kisses along anywhere your lips could reach.

and dazai knew, no matter how many times the world may lie to him, that if there was one thing he could always believe in, it was the love the two of you shared, for it was more than love.

»»————　　————««

dazai let his thoughts wander as the two of you laid next to each other, basking in the feeling of your naked bodies tangled up within the sheets, and he watched as you littered gentle kisses along his wrists, kissing each of his scars that your lips could reach.

his heart swirled in a sensation that he could only describe as peace. _no, _it felt like more than that.

“hey, y/n..” he quietly called out. you stopped your actions, humming in response and tilting your head up to face his, which was now staring at the ceiling of your bedroom.

“what’s a word that might describe the way i’m feeling right now?” he asked, you scooted up the bed, raising yourself onto your elbow to begin playing with his hair.

“i don’t know osa, you’re the only one that can answer that,” you said, and he hummed, shutting his eyes and reveling in the feeling of you toying with his hair. “if you want to know, there might be a word to describe how i’m feeling though?” you suggested, and he fluttered his eyelids open to look at you.

“of course, belladonna, what are you feeling?” he asked, a soft smile gracing his features.

“limerence,” you said, and he tilted his head in a questioning manner, not understanding the meaning since the word you had spoken was in english. you lightly chuckled, and said, “it’s an english word, meaning ‘to be infatuated or obsessed with another person,’ and i think it’s pretty fitting, don’t you?”

he smiled even brighter at you and pulled you closer to his body so that you were now laying on his chest.

“limerence, that's this moment.. in its purest form, no? that’s what i feel, at least,” he said, and you hummed in agreement, that’s all you felt in that moment while resting in his arms.

how beautiful is it that someone could make your heart beat so fast, while remembering the times when you didn’t want it to beat at all?

[scuttle-buttle]

Chapter 17

WC: 1131

Rated: E

Chapter Tags: angst, language, discussions of student/professor relationships, age difference

A/N: so I'm actually going out of town for a week and I'm not sure I'll be able to write much if at all so I figured I'll be nice and not leave yall hanging too much

🧠

A sea of petrified students part as you come raging down the academic building’s hallway. You waste no time in throwing open the heavy wooden door to his office. It hasn’t even had time to slam shut before you begin your tirade.

“What the fuck is your problem?” you seeth.

Laszlo sighs, annoyed at having his work interrupted for the second time in the last hour. The headache from his encounter with Sara made his temples throb uncomfortably. He once again removes his glasses, tossing them indelicately onto the desk, before running a hand through his neatly combed hair. “What, is it not allowed that I do my work in peace?” He does nothing to hide his exasperation as he lifts his head to face you. The dark bags under your eyes remind him of his own.

“I don’t know who the hell you think you are, some high and mighty hot-shot professor, but I do not need your pity money,” you spit at him. “It’s disgusting and patronizing and quite frankly fucked up. It’s bad enough that you fucking fire me over text for no goddamn reason, but then you go rub it in my face just how much I needed this job and the money. I’m not some pathetic charity case, Laszlo. I can figure out my own shit and I don’t need your help to do it!”

Midway through your rant he stood up from his desk. Now Laszlo is more confused than angry at your outburst. Charity case? “I haven’t the slightest idea what you’re on about.”

You scoff. “Oh, don’t play dumb, it’s beneath you. You were supposed to fix the system to say that you removed me from being your TA. But no, you went and kept me on payroll on purpose so that, what, I didn’t go starving on the streets without you? You think that I’m so incapable of taking care of myself that only you, the great Dr. Laszlo Kreizler could help, and just so you could feel better about yourself?” The sarcasm drips heavily in your tone.

With the raising of your voice so did your frustration. Laszlo could feel it pushing off you in waves, stoking the fire within his own emotions. He lets out a dark chuckle at the preposterousness of your accusation. “If you think for even a moment that I have done anything out of pity for you then you truly must be beyond yourself. I have not done anything outside of what is required for my position as your supervisor and professor at this university. If you have a problem with that, you may take it to the Dean," he sneers. "As for your accusation of treating you like a charity case - that was never my intention nor purpose. I became preoccupied and did not find the time to change your status in the system.” He looks you up and down from where he stands, his eyes cold. “You have much to learn if you are going to expect people to take you seriously as an academic.”

Jabbing a finger towards him, you yell “don’t you talk down to me like I’m a child! God, you are infuriating!” You throw up your hands and begin to pace the office. Taking a breath, you try to bring some logic into your fuming thoughts. “Okay fine, let’s say I do believe that you forgot to fix it. That still doesn’t explain why you fired me out of the blue. Was I not doing my job correctly?”

“You did what was asked of you.” He does his best to sound neutral in his response.

“That doesn’t- ugh- that doesn’t answer the damn question, Laszlo! For once, why can’t you act like a human being and not like some omnipotent god that just takes pleasure in pointing out everyone else's flaws?” The fire behind your eyes blazes hotter than the surface of the sun.

Circling the desk he comes to stop a few feet from you. His shoulders are rigid as he glares down at you. “Perhaps I will the day you yourself get a hold on your own actions. You are intelligent beyond your own comprehension, yet you present yourself as a naïve child might. You speak as though your ideals are the only ones that could possibly be entertained. You are loud and confrontational and irritating-”

You cut him off; “I could say the same thing about you!” You pause a short beat. At this point you decide to rip the proverbial band aid off - “Is it because we almost kissed? Did I really fuck it up that bad or are you just unable to grow up and be a big boy with your feelings? Because you’ve been giving me all these signs and if they aren’t really there then fuck, Laszlo, you need to figure out how to actually talk to someone without making them think you have feelings. Or is it because you’re a professor and I’m your aide? Am I some stupid little girl that caught feelings for her teacher? Does the idea offend you that much that you had to get rid of me-”

“I CAN’T!” he yells mere inches from you. His shout stops you in your tracks, your eyes darting between his own pitch black pupils. Laszlo's face is flushed, his temples throb.

He sees red as he tries to defend himself from your onslaught. “I cannot be around you!” He growls, pacing away from you towards the back wall.

You don’t let him get away so easily, following him with a single measured step. “Laszlo… why not?” You are enraged and heartbroken, but you need answers no matter how much they might rip your soul to shreds.

He runs his fingers through his already mussed hair, pulling at the strands. “Because I feel my control slipping when you are around. Everyday you sit here and all I want is to be near you, to feel you against me, to know every thought that crosses that beautiful mind. I become more and more alienated from my own when I am with you. I’m not sure I have much sanity left. There are certain things a man cannot control...” You hear his swallow. “I’m afraid of what I might do if you stay…”

When you do not respond he glances over his shoulder. You stand where he had left you, your jaw clenched, eyebrows scrunched together. He continues to study you from across the room. Neither of you say anything.

Finally, you open your mouth to whisper out “I’m afraid of what might happen if I don’t.”

The words are barely past your mouth when he launches himself towards you, his left hand tilting your jaw forward to crush his lips against yours.

Tag list

@hardlyinteresting @lorna-d-m @livvyshmiv @somethingthatsaysbubbles @greeneyedblondie44 @unbeatablecurlgirl @apparrio @marchingicenotes7 @anteroom-of-death @bruhidaniel @lemairepstuff @thehuiabird @zemosimp05 @alindeluce @iamnotthecatladynextdoor @laura-naruto-fan1998 @trelaney @boneheadduluc @i-am-dead-inside-666 @fictionlandslanddreams @thatoneartgalsstuff

[starilicious]

der lagi lekin (hunter x force-user!gn! reader + ep. 8 fix-it)

》 summary: tbb episode 8 fix-it featuring a force-user reader who used to be a jedi. reader is a part of tbb and in a relationship with hunter, but the squad–nor hunter–knows that reader is a force-user. (disclaimer: all of this was written before episode 9 was released! see a/n for an explanation ^_^) (another disclaimer: if you want just the hunter x reader comfort, please let me know and i'll finish it up and post it!)

》 word count: ~8k (yeah, it's a lot LOL)

click here to read on AO3

》 warnings: in-universe swearing, mental breakdown, some slight sensory overloads, pretty mild panic attack, light canon-typical violence, angst + some comfort, survivor's guilt from surviving order 66, no use of y/n, slightly plot heavy because i got way too carried away in writing (whoops?) [if i should add more warnings, please let me know!]

》 spoilers: major ones for tbb episode 8 "reunion"

》 a/n: okay look, i gotta confess: this wasn’t supposed to be an episode 8 fix-it. really. i’m actually glad cad bane won because we get to see that the clones don’t always win every fight... i think it makes for a better and more complex story. anyway, i started out writing just reader and hunter comfort after episode 8 ended. but i’m weak for omega because she reminds me so much of my younger siblings and i ended up writing a wholeass fix-it to save her (even tho cad bane is a downright badass). i kind of liked what i did with building up the plot so much that i might continue this story of force-user!reader with tbb. but that’s a tangent we can deal with later. if you would like a part two with the hunter x reader comfort this was originally intended to be, let me know!

as i said in the summary, i wrote all of this before episode 9 came out–just be aware of that. because it’s so long, it took me a while to edit, which is why i’m posting after ep. 9 was released. but without further ado, i hope you like it! <33

》 misc. notes:

• title of the fic is from the hindi song "der lagi lekin" from the film zindagi na milegi dobara. i linked the song in blue and linked the english translations in green in case you're curious! it's not necessary to listen or understand the song, but i thought it went well with the fic :)

“Everybody get down!” Wrecker yells. You and the squad immediately do as he instructs, diving towards the ground and covering your head. Stars, I hope this works.

The charges the six of you placed around the gigantic cone that surrounds the core cylinder explodes in a deafening blast. You curl into the tightest ball you can manage, breathing so hard that the HUD inside your helmet temporarily fogs up. Metal shards of the explosion rain down on you hard.

For a moment, it seems like nothing happened. But then you hear the telltale, ear-grinding creak of the durasteel and the squad is roughly catapulted forward from the force of the cone beginning to fall down.

You struggle to stand up as you lurch this way and that, trying to regain your balance and stabilize as Tech calls out, “Hold on!”

You quickly glance at the rest of the Bad Batch, trying to see if any of them were hurt. Other than the absolutely terrified look on Omega’s face, all is well considering the circumstances. The metal groans and begins its descent, taking your feeling of being grounded with it. The weightlessness is uncomfortably familiar to say the least, but you ignore it as the six of you scramble to hold on to the side of the cone. You certainly did your fair share of acrobatics back in the war, but feeling it hum around you...it’s too much. It’s too much. You elect to push it back into the depths of your brain. But it doesn’t leave.

It never really does.

Omega’s anxious whimpers come in faintly through your thick helmet and you whip around, frantically trying to find where she is. But before you can find her, the cone lands vertically on its head and the force is so violent that your stable hold on the durasteel is broken. Panicked, you quickly fire a grappling hook towards the ledge where you were previously hanging on. The hook catches and you stop abruptly, the jerky movement almost wrenching your arm out of its socket.

You look down to see Omega falling from someone’s grip and into Hunter’s arms. You can barely tell where anyone is thanks to the lack of light and the incessant motion.

The cone begins to topple onto its side and suddenly, your wire snaps from the tension. You let out a scream of surprise as you plummet downwards, wind rushing past your helmet. ForceIdon’twanttodieohmyMakerohno–

But you never hit the ground, instead being flung sideways as the cone tears into two. On trained instinct, you tuck yourself into a ball to try and roll in order to break your fall instead of using it. That time is long gone.

You land with a sickening thud and hiss in pain as your back hits the metal hard. You hear something crack, but whether it is your armor or something internal, you have absolutely no idea, and don’t have time to check before you black out.

✧✦✧

You jolt awake, a sound making its way into your consciousness. Finally, the damn place stopped moving. You take a few minutes to try and relieve the painful pressure in your chest, reaching up to rip your helmet off because you can’t breathe, you can’t breathe.

You tilt your head back as you struggle to take in air and let the adrenaline subside. You hear voices in the distance and you strain your ears to pick up on the sound as you quickly check yourself over. As far as you can tell, nothing major is broken, and at this point, that is all that matters. Though, your head is pounding, and for more reasons than one

“–nter.. port side... what… status?”

You can’t tell who is speaking, the message too far away for you to hear. But the bits and pieces are enough for you to know that it’s someone from the Bad Batch and that you weren’t unconscious for long. You stand up and dust yourself off before slowly walking to where you believe the origin of the sound is.

“–engine… got company.” A blaster sound and then an explosion rings through the quiet.

Your eyes widen and you quickly pick up the pace, getting your blaster ready as you pick your way through the sharp metal that is jutting out from the ground.

You click on your wrist comm. “Echo, you there?” A faint crackle before his voice comes through, but the signal is scratchy. You frown in frustration.

“–are you? Hunter is... port side,” Echo says and you smack your commlink to try and get the electronics to work, but it’s no use. The device is broken, most likely from the fall, you deduce.

“Meet… Marauder.”

You don’t bother to answer, knowing Echo would probably not even be able to hear what you had to say anyway. Without a signal booster or repeater, there’s no way you can get your transmission across the channel frequency.

It takes a few minutes, but you eventually find the night sky of Bracca blinking down at you at the end of the ripped off cone. You run out to find that you’re in the middle of where the cone broke in half. Okay, new plan. I need to find Hunter. Hunter will know what to do.

You scan your surroundings. The HUD isn’t picking up on any lifeforms near you, and you realize with sinking dread that you have no more options. Whichever piece you climbed through to get to your squadmates, it would take too long for you to search for them since you don’t know their coordinates and your comm isn’t working. Frankly, the Empire–Crosshair–would find you first. You have to use it.

You have to use the Force.

A wave of nausea overcomes you at the mere thought of it and you sway. In an attempt to ground yourself, you tear off your helmet to breathe some fresh air and end up keeling over as the bile rises in your throat. Nothing comes out. You can’t tell if that’s a positive or not.

You could have saved them. Someone. Anyone.

It itches at you in the back of your head, wishing to be let out of its cage. But you can’t. You can’t do it. What’s the use anyway? All you would be doing is saving yourself. The choice of surviving it all has haunted you ever since. Your head pounds in agony.

You saw it happen. You could have helped them. And you ran like a coward. Only ever concerned about yourself.

You inhale sharply as the scene flashes before your eyes, clones shooting at you and the other Jedi. The blaster fire. The confusion. The screams.

How pathetic.

The last statement, an echo of Crosshair’s words, bounces around in your brain. You clutch your head as you let out a heartbroken sob, knee deep in the dirt and metal and grief. Tears create clean tracks down your face as you finally break down, the flood of emotions bursting the dam open. At this point, you don’t know if the emotions are yours or the ones you previously felt through the Force, all of them swirling and blending into one. The bottled up anguish merged together when you attempted to cut yourself off from the Force after the clones–your friends–attacked.

The pain of their death is perhaps the worst of all. Horror courses through you as you finally process your friends and mentors dying around the galaxy, their deaths, their distress, their fear reverberating heavily throughout the Force. Each one cripples you further as you once again struggle to breathe.

It feels like light years pass when you finally calm down to a practically numb state of being. The scenes stop replaying behind your closed eyelids and the echoing shrieks die down to a faint, hollow whisper. You’re suddenly exhausted, limbs heavy and energy sapped. It was almost relieving to finally let the Force once again flow through your body, your nerves lightly tingling with potential despite how tired you feel. You collapse onto the ground and try to recenter yourself.

But despite finally acknowledging the loss, it doesn’t feel right. You didn’t get to say goodbye. You hadn’t been able to even think about them, much less honor them, too focused on going on the run to concentrate on anything beyond the next day’s survival. Even once you joined the Bad Batch, you were paranoid about their chips, about your friends turning on you at any moment. You were always extremely reluctant to engage in the Force, even at the worst of times.

With a start, you realize that you don’t need to worry about your squadmates. Their inhibitor chips are now gone. You… you are safe.

You let out a shocked laugh as it sinks in. A glimmer of hope, of peace. I’m safe.

You sit up then, criss-crossing your legs as you survey the broken landscape of Bracca. Despite the planet being a graveyard, you feel lucidly alive. Perhaps something died in you, that wretched day. But something else, slowly but surely, began growing in its place. It’s meek, but it’s there.

You let out a breath and close your eyes, reaching for the Force like it’s an old friend. It accepts your invitation with hesitation, joining hands with you as if you did not try beating it to death for days on end. You sink into the gentle lapping waves of the Force, extending into it and widening your scope.

There’s something that lurks beneath the surface, in the deep. Dark and sinister and so utterly painful. It calls to you, quiet and low. Enticing. Tempting. And something in you knows that it’s the reason for your previous life’s demise.

But you can feel Hunter’s–and Omega’s, you realize–presence near you in the Force. Even with your relatively damaged connection to the Force after Order 66, the Bad Batch’s Force auras were something you could always hone in on. You let yourself direct your focus to the duo, letting their emotions be your beacon to the acceptance of the Light side of the Force.

In a split second, you decide to not dive deeper into the Force. This isn’t the place nor the time to discover what is prowling in the endless yawning of the Force, to discover why everything happened. So you direct your concentration to the beings on the planet, feeling and breathing your way through the Life Force.

You freeze. There’s something here. No… someone. Your eyebrows furrow as you divert your attention away from your friends and other organisms to the peculiar source. Something about this person strikes you as familiar.

Your eyes snap open and you gasp. I’m not alone. A Force-sensitive. Someone survived. Giddy beyond belief, you snatch up your helmet and begin trekking your way across the wreckage in the opposite direction of Hunter and Omega before pausing. Whoever this person is doesn’t know about your presence on the planet.

And despite the fear you felt emanating off of them in the Force, you somehow knew they were safe, at least for now. And they would remain so if you have anything to say about it. Maker forbid anything that jeopardizes this person’s fragile safety. After all, you know best what it’s like to constantly flee scene after scene.

Staying away is the best thing to do. I’ll come back for you, whoever you are.

You double back and make quick work of getting across the debris as you focus your concentration on Hunter’s and Omega’s Force signatures. As you get closer to the port side, you hear Omega’s high voice. Through your HUD, you can see her small form. You grin. She disappears then, and on closer inspection, you figure she jumped through some broken cargo doors.

The entrance she and Hunter took is too high for you to jump up to, even with the aid of the Force. Combined with your wariness of probe droids, you decide to take a different route from the right side, climbing up the broken ship. The slick oil mixed with the water still present on the metal makes for a difficult trek, and you slip more times than you would like to admit.

Hunter’s gruff voice floats up towards you and you scramble the last few meters to the edge of a hole in the ceiling before pausing. The Force is itching at the back of your head. Something’s wrong.

You peek over the edge of the giant slab of durasteel that created the hole to see bodies in white armor littered everywhere–clones, you realize. Your heart pangs in sadness at the sight.

Slightly to your right, a blue figure and a techno-service droid stand in front of a ship and a frightened Omega stands behind a defensive Hunter. Your mouth drops open. Kriff.

Cad Bane.

A memory from near the beginning of the war hits you in full force. You and Anakin had taken some time on Coruscant to catch up with each other after you passed your trials and were promoted to Jedi Knight. He told you about a mission where he had to stop a bounty hunter who successfully stole a Jedi holocron. You remember how surprised you were when you heard the bitter disgust in Anakin’s voice. The ruthlessly cunning bounty hunter not only threatened to kill Ahsoka, but he murdered Master Ropal.

Judging by the looks of it, Hunter doesn’t know who he is. If the Anakin Skywalker had a difficult time with Cad Bane, there is no way in sithhell Hunter can take him on, even with his enhanced senses. Frankly, you seriously doubt you can either, especially with how rusty your Force skills are now. And that means this isn’t going to end well.

You watch carefully as you tune into the conversation.

“Ain’t you smart?” Bane smirks. “The kid’s got it all figured it out.”

“You’re in trouble now!” the droid exclaims, pointing at Hunter and Omega. You grit your teeth in annoyance.

“Who hired you?” Hunter asks. Stalling. Not a bad move, Hunter.

“Son,” Bane sighs, already done with the brief conversation. “That’s confidential information. Now hand her over.”

Omega stays behind Hunter, taking a knee as Hunter walks forward protectively. You bristle. How am I supposed to help from up here?

“She’s not going anywhere.”

Your eyes drift over the scene in a panic and you take in the fallen clones again. An idea pops into your head. It is desperate, but at this point, you don’t have much of a choice.

Bane mimics Hunter’s movement, walking forward and putting a hand near his belt. The tension is as thick as duracrete.

“That’s unfortunate… for you.”

You grab the long barrel piece from your belt, fitting it over your blaster hurriedly as the showdown begins. Out of the corner of your eye, you see them staring each other down and you can’t help but roll your eyes. Men.

During the war, Crosshair helped you re-engineer your weapon so you could put together various pieces in the field to make a blaster gun that loosely resembled his own sniper. Seeing the clones reminded you of him. A wave of sadness washes over you, but you shake your head. Now is not the time.

You screw on the telescopic sight and set up your makeshift sniper. You peer through the viewfinder and find Bane’s chest. Your finger tenses over the trigger.

You let yourself sink deep into the Force, let it guide your actions. Inhale. Exhale. I can do this. As you relax, the mellow warmth you missed so dearly washes over you, gently eroding the torment in your mind and heart, guiding your focus to the here and now. Trust in the Force.

Wait.

Wait.

Now.

You fire two bolts straight into your target the same exact moment Bane and Hunter shoot each other. Hunter’s shot hits the droid, breaking off its leg. Bane’s shot hits directly in Hunter’s chest, as yours did Bane. Both men immediately fall backwards and slam into the ground.

“My booster!” Oh. So not a leg. Got it.

“Hunter!”

Kriff kriff kriff. You jump down nimbly from your hiding spot in the ceiling and immediately sprint towards the duo. Is he dead? You would unapologetically release sithhell on Bane if he killed the man you love.

Omega panics as she tries to wake Hunter up, continuously calling his name before taking a glimpse of her surroundings. Before you can react, she grabs her bow and pulls it taut, aiming at you. She looks petrified.

“Whoa! Omega, it’s me!” you exclaim, holding your hands up in surrender. She takes a moment to actually look at you before sagging in relief. Suddenly, the droid comes speeding out of nowhere and Omega shoots, the energy bolt whizzing past your waist and straight into the droid before it can attack you from behind.

The shot rings true and the grumpy robot falls. You turn around to grab at its exposed parts under its head and yank them out to make sure it can’t power on again.

“Thanks, Omega. I owe you one,” you say and Omega gives you a proud smile.

You place a comforting hand on her shoulder before kneeling down to shake Hunter awake, but it doesn’t work. You take a moment to analyse Hunter’s Life Force. It’s a bit dimmer, but it’s constant, meaning he’s out cold and doesn’t have the life draining out of him. You let out a sigh of relief. He’s alive. You glance back to see Bane still not moving. Good.

“What’re we gonna do?” Omega whispers as you both peer down at Hunter. His armor is smoking from Bane’s blaster shot and you exhale through your teeth, trying to come up with a plan. You slip off a glove to check Hunter’s pulse–it’s strong. You don’t want to leave Omega alone, even if Bane is unconscious, but you aren’t sure you have a choice.

“Well we can’t carry him to safety, neither of us are strong enough for that,” you think aloud, gears churning in your head. You would have to wait for help, even if you were sitting ducks.

Briefly, you entertain the thought of taking Bane’s ship. The only problem is you don’t know what trackers or other gadgets are in there–it’s too costly of a risk and a price you weren’t willing to pay. You sigh, resigned.

“Omega, you try to comm the others and see if you can wake Hunter up. I’m going to go inside this guy’s ship and see if I can find something that can help us. We have to get out of here before the bounty hunter wakes up,” you instruct and Omega nods, youthful determination flooding back into her eyes.

You leave her to it, walking cautiously towards Bane’s ship. You look down at him. His armor is smoking in two places from the shots you fired. Based on what you see, he’s still unconscious, and his Life Force reflects the same conclusion. How long that would remain, you don’t know. Which means you need to work fast.

You board the ship while you remove the sniper attachments from your blaster and clip them back onto your belt. You keep your guard up as you look around. No droids. Guess that techno-service droid is his one and only.

In an effort to slowly re-familiarize yourself with the Force, you send out a quick pulse through it to see if there are any lifeforms aboard the ship, relaxing when you find none. You rummage through all the cabinets that you discover, looking high and low as you try to locate something of use. The secret compartment in the cockpit proves to be the fruitful reward to your search. With a wave of your hand, you unlock it with ease. Bingo.

Credits. Bags of them. And they’re unmarked creds, which make your score even better. Hopefully, it would be enough to pay off your debt to Cid and give the Havoc Marauder some much-needed upgrades.

Usually, you would feel bad about stealing from someone, but considering this was a bounty hunter – Cad Bane, no less – you figure you can risk treading the grey area of your moral code.

You grab as many bags as you’re able, stuffing them inside your backpack and clipping the rest onto your belt. At this moment, you’re incredibly grateful to Tech and Echo for designing a sturdy utility belt that fits you well. The standard ones were for clones and you definitely were not a clone.

You exit the cockpit and head to the second level of the ship to see if there’s anything else you can find. A stack of crates sits in the corner across from what you assume to be a prison. You scrunch your nose in disgust as you open one to find medical supplies. Bacta patches and gel, vitapaste, rations, water, gloves, sanitary napkins–it was all there. Delighted, you close the crate and click the repulsor to make it levitate. Oh how you love technology.

You turn around and walk back up the stairs to leave the ship. You freeze at the exit ramp. You have got to be karking kidding me.

“Sorry lil’ lady.”

Cad Bane stuns Omega in front of your eyes before rounding on you and immediately fires. In a desperate attempt to save yourself, you throw your hands up and the honeyed power of the Force rushes through every fibre of your being. The blaster bolts slow down to a snail-like crawl and your eyes widen. How did I…?

Never mind how you argue with yourself. Time to get out of here!

You tiptoe around each bolt, the effort of keeping them in stasis becoming more difficult with each passing moment. You grit your teeth as your arms shake, but you keep going until you are finally off the ramp. You lower your arms and the energy hits the inside of the ship, spazzing out the blinking controls inside.

Bane turns to you in surprise, astonished at how you’re suddenly in front of him. You don’t give him the luxury of processing the event and immediately punch him in the face with as much strength as you can muster. Bane pitches backwards and collapses onto the ground, just as he did the first time. You grab your stun blaster and shoot him as extra assurance. You really did not want this to repeat again. Hopefully he never wakes up with a memory of what I just did...

“Now stay down,” you mutter to a knocked out Bane, cradling your now injured hand. You have no idea how Wrecker ever does this because wow your hand is killing you.

You have to say, you’re pretty proud of yourself for being able to render him unconscious not once, but two times. You wish you could tell Anakin–the thought saddens you. He’s probably dead too.

With that vividly cheery thought, you stagger back from the ramp in exhaustion, weary from the sudden surge of the Force still ebbing and coursing through your body.

None of the Bad Batch knew you used to be a Jedi–not even Hunter. It was something only a few of your closest Jedi friends and the Jedi Council knew about.

But after what happened today, with Rex helping your squadmates get their inhibitor chips out, with you finally letting the Force in… maybe it is time to tell them. The secrecy wouldn’t be needed anymore now that you were sure you were safe around your friends. But clearly, the universe wanted to throw a nasty vibroblade in your plans by knocking Hunter and Omega unconscious and having the best kriffing bounty hunter in the galaxy be hot on your heels.

You take a few seconds to get your breath back and regain your mental energy. You aren’t out of the woods yet. You run inside Bane’s ship to grab the crate of medical supplies before sprinting back out towards Hunter and Omega.

You lean down and pat Omega’s cheek gently, trying to wake her up, but she’s out cold. Why is everyone around me unconscious? Frankly, you’re equally amused and terrified by the situation laid out in front of you.

You sigh, looking around to see if you can find some cover. There’s a giant sheet of durasteel to your left, big enough to act as a barrier in case trouble comes knocking. You bend down and pick Omega up before placing her down cautiously, leaning her small body against the metal. You repeat the action with the crate you found.

The third time proves to be much more difficult. Hunter certainly isn’t as muscular as Wrecker, but he sure as sithhell isn’t as light as Omega. You tap your foot nervously, trying to figure out a way for you to lift him. Yes, you could use the Force, but you don’t want to alert the other Force-sensitive on the planet. If they knew about your existence, it could put them in danger, and that was the last thing you wanted.

Giving up, you place your hands underneath Hunter’s armpits and effectively drag him all the way over, propping him up as you did Omega. You cringe at the sound of his armor grating the floor. There are sure to be dirty scuff marks on it now. Sorry Hunter.

Just as you’re about to sit down next to him, heaving deep breaths from the exertion, you pause. A warning is practically blaring in the Force and you tense, urgently trying to figure out the cause.

“Not again,” you mumble under your breath. You can’t handle any more action today. With Hunter and Omega both down, and your extreme fatigue from engaging in the Force, you don’t know how much of a fight you can put up. Not to mention you never trained as a soldier. There was a reason why you left the military planning strategies to the Bad Batch.

You hold your blaster close to your chest as you scan the environment. Bane is immobile and so is the dismantled techno-service droid. So what’s wrong?

Ten nerve-wracking seconds pass before you get your answer. Clone voices waft up to your hiding spot and you bite your cheek in frustration as your head continues to pound. Your headache still hasn’t stopped.

There is no way you can fight them all off, especially if Crosshair is with them. They are too far away for you to get a read on how many there are, and frankly, you’re much too scared to even peek around the durasteel to count.

One of Tech’s previous statements floats through your mind. About three attack shuttles worth.

You can feel your heart thumping wildly in your chest, blood rushing through your ears as anxiety ties your stomach into knots. I can’t do this, I can’t do this, Ican’tdothis.

You take deep breaths, doing your best to clear your mind and focus. You had to do this. There is no other option other than surrendering or dying. No, damnit, you would go down fighting until the Life Force left you.

You peer just past the edge of the metal to see at least twenty clones heading your way. Certainly not ideal, but you bide your time. If you started shooting now, you couldn’t use the element of surprise to your advantage and they would easily overwhelm you. But once they’re close enough, you hope you can at least take a couple out before having to resort to using the Force. It isn’t ideal, but it’s all you have.

Honestly, you don’t know if you could get out of this one alive, much less protect Hunter and Omega too. Maker help me.

It throws you off when they finally come into sight–you see how plain the clones’ armor looked without paint. You never really noticed it before since you were always running for your life in those circumstances. But now that you think about it, you are so used to seeing bright blue or green or yellow that the alabaster white just seems so… odd.

“Looks like a big fight happened here.”

“Yeah, tell me about it. All these men are dead.”

Now.

You whip your body around the metal and immediately begin shooting as fast as you can pull the trigger, trying to make every shot count. The troopers hesitate for just a moment, most likely due to their surprise of you being there. But that second is all you need.

You take out the three men closest to you before jumping back behind the metal as their barrage of fire rains down on you. You do your best to shoot back and manage to take out one more clone, but they’re beginning to gain too much ground too fast. I can do this. I have to do this.

As far as you can tell, Crosshair isn’t with the clones attacking you, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t set up shop somewhere nearby, waiting to shoot you.

You shudder. It’s a chilling thought.

You grab one of your last detonators from your belt and hurl it as far as you can. The rapid beeping rises quickly in pitch before the charge explodes. Anguished cries reverberate throughout the area, and you briefly feel sorry for having to take such drastic measures as you feel their Force signatures dim swiftly. But you don’t have a choice.

Peeking around the corner, you count around eight to ten clones down. Not bad considering the circumstances.

You continue shooting as much as you can but now the troopers are much too close for comfort and you’re feeling overwhelmed. The durasteel you are using for cover isn’t meant to take this kind of damage, and the integrity of your shield is quickly waning as told by the constant creaks and groans. You don’t know what to do. Will we make it?

In your haste of shooting first and panicking later, you don’t notice Hunter groaning, finally waking up. And before you have time to even glance at him, the familiar hum of the Havoc Marauder and its lights shine down on you. Your sag in relief. Looks like Omega was able to comm them after all. Never before have you been so glad to see the beat-up hunk of junk. (You would never say that to Tech though–the Marauder is his baby, his pride and joy.)

Echo, Wrecker, and Tech all race off the ship, guns ablazing. Wrecker and Tech stand guard, serving as cover fire while Echo bends down to help you out.

“Hunter, wake up!” Echo hisses and smacks his helmet lightly. Hunter mumbles in pain as he starts to move, trying to look around as his HUD boots back up. Seriously? Now you wake up? you think sarcastically. But you’re much more relieved at the fact that he has actually woken up.

“What happened? Where’s Omega?” Wrecker bellows, worried.

“She’s right here, I’ve got her!” you shout back at the same time Echo says, “He was shot in the chest plate.”

You pocket your blaster and gather the young girl in your arms with every last bit of strength you have left. You aren’t strong enough to hold her in one arm and shoot with the other. That is much more up Wrecker’s alley.

“We have to get him on board!” Tech exclaims as he helps Echo support Hunter. You pick Omega up in both arms and bolt for the ship as fast as you can while yelling at Tech to grab the crate of supplies.

“Incoming!” Wrecker calls out as a fresh wave of troopers advance towards the six of you. You grunt as you deposit Omega in a chair near the controls before pulling out your blaster and helping Wrecker shoot down the men racing towards you.

“Got him. Tech, fly us out of here!” Echo commands while Wrecker makes a gesture for them to get on the ship faster. Hunter stumbles as he does his best to upright himself.

“Go go go!” Wrecker exclaims. Tech shoves the crate next to Omega’s seat and makes a beeline for the cockpit as you continue shooting, moving to the side to make space for Echo and Hunter to come on board. Wrecker quickly climbs in right after them and the ramp closes shut.

Tech immediately pilots the Havoc Marauder up and away from the scene. You vaguely hear the sound of blaster fire hitting the bottom of the ship while you drop your blaster on the ground and wrench Hunter’s helmet off in a panic. You take his face in your hands as you scan him quickly, trying to figure out if he’s hurt or not.

Hunter bats your hands away. “He... he took Omega,” he says and you shake your head. Wrecker pipes up from behind you to respond.

“Who? Crosshair?”

“The bounty hunter,” Hunter mutters as he rubs a hand over his face. Before Wrecker can answer again, you step in.

“No, he didn’t. I took him down. And no, he’s not dead,” you tack on quickly when you see Echo open his mouth. Echo shakes his head fondly and you just grin at him.

“She’s right here,” Echo says instead, pointing to Omega’s sleeping figure. Hunter turns in surprise to see that his brother is indeed telling the truth.

“How...?” Hunter’s voice trails off. Echo and Wrecker look at you expectantly, and Hunter follows suit. You sigh and take off your helmet, setting it down on the ledge next to the controls. You don’t look at them.

“It’s a long story.”

You don’t have a chance to elaborate any further because Tech walks in, interrupting the conversation.

“I’ve made the jump to hyperspace. There was a cruiser in the atmosphere, but I was able to quietly go past them by disguising our ship as a bounty hunter’s. They didn’t interfere. I put in the coordinates for Ord Mantell. I estimate our time of arrival to be five hours and thirty two minutes,” Tech reports and Hunter nods while you voice your thanks.

“Looks like we got time!” Wrecker says cheerily, pulling out an extra chair. Tech looks to you in confusion.

“Did I miss something significant?” Tech asks, concerned about the information he did not receive as he adjusts his goggles. You shake your head but now, all eyes are back on you.

“She was just about to tell us how she saved Omega,” Hunter supplies helpfully and Tech nods in understanding. He grabs a chair as well and sits down, interested in hearing what you have to say.

You look around the room, realizing you can’t get out of it. You are exhausted and just want to sleep but based on the looks you are getting from the boys, there is no way you can leave without giving a sufficient answer.

You sit down on a chair in between Omega and Echo and begin explaining.

“When the cone fell, it separated. I got knocked out when I hit the ground, but I don’t think I broke anything,” you quickly reassure as Tech grabs a datapad to scan your vitals.

“After I came to, I tried comming Echo, but my commlink was broken – I could only hear bits and pieces of what he said. There were some voices near me so I just followed them and–” you pause, not sure if you should tell them what happened. What you experienced, what you found out. “–I saw Hunter and Omega. The ledge I found was way too high for me to jump to, so I climbed up the side of the wreckage to see them and the bounty hunter facing off,” you say, choosing to leave the detail out. It was too personal. You still needed time.

All of them are listening intently, hanging on to every word you’re saying. Hunter’s gaze on you is heavy and loaded with questions. Tech is still tapping away on the datapad, but you know you have his full attention. Multitasking may not be possible for regular humans, but it definitely was for Tech.

“When I saw the bounty hunter, I knew Hunter wasn’t going to win,” you mumble sheepishly, rubbing the back of your neck. Hunter winces at your statement and you rush to explain why.

“Hunter, you have to trust that I genuinely don’t doubt your abilities. You are much more of a soldier than I will ever be. But this bounty hunter is one of the best, if not the best in the entire galaxy. He’s gone against the Jedi, and won. Based on what Anakin told me at the beginning of the war, Cad Bane is ruthless. He tortured Master Ropal and killed him. Believe it or not, I think he tried to abduct Chancellor Palpatine. Even Anakin had a difficult time fighting him.”

A tense quiet settles over you all as you mentally revisit your conversation with Anakin, and later with Ahsoka. She told you how it was one of the first times she was genuinely afraid that she was going to die, or at least get hurt very severely.

Echo’s rough voice shakes you out of your reverie. “How do–did you know General Skywalker?” he asks, clearly confused at how you referred to him on a first-name basis. You mentally facepalm yourself. How did I forget he served as part of the 501st? You feel incredibly stupid.

You could make up a lie, of course, but it wouldn’t be worth it. Hunter’s enhanced senses and Tech’s vitals scan could probably pick up on your biological signs, not to mention you would feel terribly guilty about not being honest. I promised myself I would tell them…

You blow out a nervous breath, deciding to at least give them something. They deserved that much.

“I’m–well, I was a Jedi,” you admit, staring down at your feet. You can’t bring yourself to look at them, feeling almost… ashamed.

The boys are shocked into silence and you cringe. There was probably a much better way for you to say that, but now it was out there. Yet the pressure that had been weighing down on you since you let the Force back in didn’t lessen.

“What?” Wrecker questions, thrown completely for a loop. “You’re a Jedi?”

Before you can answer, Tech pipes up. “When I reviewed your medical data, there was no note about an elevated midi-chlorian count or any sort of connection to the Force. Additionally, there is no documentation of you serving as a General or a Commander during the war in the Republic military records. How were you a Jedi? And why aren’t you one now? You used past tense in your sentence,” Tech adjusts his goggles as he attempts to register this new information that conflicted with his previous knowledge.

You sigh, drumming your fingers on your thigh. “I left the Jedi Order before the war ended. I promise I’ll explain everything in detail later, but for now, you have to understand that I’m just a Force-user. I trained as a Jedi, but I’m not a Jedi, not anymore,” you clarify, lifting your head up to make eye contact with each of them.

“Aw man, that’s so cool. You have to show us your cool mind tricks sometime!” Wrecker smiles and you agree to his request. It warms your heart to see him so excited.

“It makes sense. You must have seen the regs turn on the Jedi but didn’t know why. When you started traveling with us, you didn’t know if we would turn on you too, even though we’re not regs,” Hunter realizes, and you nod in affirmation. You’re secretly relieved by the fact that he doesn’t seem angry, just… just thoughtful.

“And then when I saw what happened to Crosshair, I knew I couldn’t risk ever telling any of you. But when Rex told us about the chips…” you trail off.

Echo picks up your sentence quickly. “You figured out you would be safe with us if we got our chips removed. No wonder you were so insistent on following what Rex said.”

You smile at the last part, a bit embarrassed. He wasn’t wrong. You were probably even more insistent than Rex was on telling them to get their inhibitor chips out. Better to be safe than sorry you told them. Though at the time, you hadn’t even thought about how removing their chips would impact you and your abilities. You were too focused on keeping the Force out of your body to entertain that thought.

Wrecker suddenly gets up and gathers you in a bone-crushing hug. “Well you don’t have to worry now! We got those stupid chips out of our heads, which means I promise we won’t kill you!” he says cheerfully and you can’t help but laugh as you hug him back, the knot in your chest beginning to unravel. You could always count on Wrecker’s wonderfully big heart to raise your spirits.

“You’re right, big guy. It’s honestly a relief. One less thing I have to worry about.”

Wrecker lets go of you and you pick up where you left off. “As I was saying, Cad Bane isn’t a bounty hunter we can take lightly. Crosshair helped me re-engineer my blaster to turn it into a pseudo sniper with attachable parts during the war. Because I was so high up, I could get a clear shot of Bane. From that vantage point, I shot him at the same time Hunter and Bane shot each other.”

Echo’s mouth drops open. “Damn.”

“What I didn’t expect was for Hunter to be rendered completely unconscious. So I told Omega to try to comm you guys while I went on Bane’s ship to see if I could find anything. And I did.” You pull off your backpack and dump out the contents. Bags of credits come tumbling out. You unhook the few bags on your belt and toss them into the pile.

“Bane had a secret compartment with a lot of credits. So I took them and that crate I yelled at Tech to get,” you explain as you reach into the bag to show off the Imperial credits.

Tech’s eyes widen as he lifts up a bag to inspect it. “I will have to calculate how much you took and mark it in the inventory, but based on my initial deduction, this may be enough for us to upgrade the Marauder and provide sustenance for at least a few months.”

“Nice one!” Wrecker compliments and you grin in response. “What’s in the crate?” he asks, walking over to lift up the top.

“Medical supplies. We barely had any left so I figured I might as well take that too,” you shrug as Hunter gets up to join Wrecker to peer at the contents.

“What happened after that? You said you told Omega to comm the others, which means she was awake. Did she get hurt while I was out? Is that why you look so exhausted?” Hunter inquires, astute as ever.

You bite your lower lip. “When I was getting off his ship with the goods, he had woken up again. Before I could do anything, he stunned Omega and then immediately shot at me,” you pause, wondering if you should elaborate on how you got out of the situation. You decide to come clean on this part.

“I… I don’t know how, but I was able to stop the blaster bolts and keep them – and Bane – in stasis with the Force. The problem was that it took a lot out of me. After not really using the Force for so long, my energy reserves were pretty much gone,” you sigh, absentmindedly rubbing your arms. Your muscles are still sore from the event.

“After that, I punched him and knocked him out again. I dragged you and Omega away from the ship so that I could protect you, and I ended up using that giant piece of durasteel as cover to fight off those clones. Then you guys came and rescued us and that’s that,” you finish, suddenly fatigued from the conversation. You slump back into your chair, perfect posture be damned.

“Wow,” is all Echo says, surprised by your strength. It took some serious stamina to be able to withstand so much for so long. Echo remembered seeing Commander Tano and General Skywalker be exhausted after some especially intense missions where they constantly had to use the Force.

“Yeah,” you mutter, massaging your dominant hand. It is still throbbing from the mean hook you threw at Bane. You don’t have any regrets. You glance at Omega’s sleeping figure and soften. The things I would do for this girl.

“Looks like I taught you well!” Wrecker laughs and you smile. When you first met the Bad Batch, Wrecker took it upon himself to teach you basic self-defense and how to overtake an opponent intelligently. Even though you already learned how to fight as part of your Jedi and military training, you couldn’t say no to him when he looked so excited. But it paid off because he’s right. Wrecker did teach you well.

“You did. You basically saved my ass out there with your amazing teaching skills,” you chuckle, glancing down at your hand. You think you’ll probably have to cover it in bacta gel to speed up the healing process before having yet another realization. (You seem to be having a lot of those today.)

I can just Force-heal. Before, you couldn’t Force-heal because it would look suspicious if something healed too fast. But now that they know, you don’t have to solely depend on medical supplies anymore.

Tech, as always, is right on cue. “Is your hand alright? For you to render Bane unconscious must have been no easy feat. Not to mention that according to the medscan I just took, you have a mild concussion, most likely due to your fall. I can run a medical diagnostic test to start and then run more specific tests to combat your pain...” Tech mutters the last part to himself, brain running light years faster than his mouth as his fingers fly over the datapad.

You debate it for a moment before nodding. “That would be great, Tech–thanks. But right now, I’m exhausted, so I’m going to go and crash in my bunk. Wake me up if I need to punch someone again,” you joke before shuffling away from your squadmates. You ruffle Omega’s hair affectionately as you pass by her and pick up your blaster from the ground before climbing down the ladder. You don’t notice Hunter’s troubled gaze or how his Force signature sours a bit as you leave.

You quickly clean up and throw on some bacta patches on a few nasty bruises. You sit down on your bed and pull the privacy curtain before deciding to open up your secret compartment next to your mattress. You stare down at the objects, the only things you have left as a reminder of the past. You reach down for one of them, about to touch it when you stop.

You shake your head and shut the drawer. Deciding to finally, finally hit the hay, you’re out like a light as soon as your head hits the pillow. Dealing with the Force and healing yourself could be done later. Not even your constant pain and crippling worry about your family friends could keep you up any longer.

please consider reblogging! it really helps me and is super encouraging ^_^

[dracosaurusrex]

Found (Draco x Reader)

“ The boy looked at you in awe. There you were right beneath him, as if the universe had orchestrated this scenario perfectly. ”

Summary: When Draco and Y/N find each other after losing one another in their past life.

Genre: Angst/Fluff

Prompt:  “I wish we could be together in another life” // “I promise I’ll be looking for you in each one” (From @minty-malfoy 300wc)

A/N: If you saw me frantically post this a number of times, it’s because it wasn’t popping up in the tags :/ Anywayy, I took a chance to retell the myth behind the constellation, Draco and infuse it with the characters. I thought it was fun, and I hope you enjoy reading!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The skies were painted with pink and orange hues as the sun began to set upon Mount Atlas, home to Hera’s garden. Rooted heavily within it was a beautiful tree. One that bore fruit to sparkling, golden apples. It was a wedding gift from Gaia. A gift so precious that the young goddess had begged for it to be planted in her garden, which was filled with life itself. Lush trees covered its perimeter, flowers of every species bloomed with much radiance, and golden rays of light scattered through every nook and cranny. Lacing through the landscape were small creeks and springs, which nurtured the tree to its prime state of beauty. It is these that the nymphs of the evening, also known as the Hesperides, were entrusted by Hera to tend and protect. 

There were three of them: Hesperia, Erytheia, and you, Aigle. You all were a playful bunch who truly loved Hera’s garden. However, moments spent under the sun led to a heightened craving as the golden apples shined with temptation. Enter, Ladon, a grand-looking serpentine dragon who coiled himself around the beautiful tree. Hera had summoned him to protect it after several attempts had been made by you and your sisters to steal some of the fruit for yourselves. 

His body was decorated with scales of majestic shades comprising ivory, platinum, silver, and champagne. His talons presented themselves with intimidation, fangs comparable to the size of daggers, and his eyes flashed a striking blue hue filled with a look of ambition and purpose. The creature was the epitome of beauty and fright. 

His presence was effective in keeping your sisters away--they scoured at the sight of him--but the case was quite different for you. Instead of being overcome by fear, you found yourself marveling at him. Every time you rose from your slumber, he was always there, zealously fulfilling his task. He was immortal and he never slept, yet his appearance was as just astounding as the day before. Because of this, you took every opportunity possible to be around him, to bask in his presence, to simply admire him. Today was no different.

The grass felt soft under your steps, and the sunset glowed as fervently as ever. You sped through the maze of trees, chasing rays of light as it slowly reduced into a specks. The wind blew through your honey brown locks as the adrenaline pumped in your veins. The golden tree was in sight, and wrapped around it, like always, was beautiful Ladon. The serpent lifted his head at the sight of the beautiful nymph as she slowed her steps.

“Are you here to bother me again, Aigle?” Annoyance fills his voice, but it doesn’t shift her stance.

“Oh Ladon, your words harm me so. Nevertheless, I can never find myself to be apart from you.” A giggle accompanied your voice as you spoke. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“What do you want?” Ladon was accustomed to Aigle and her antics. Every single evening since his arrival, she’d spend her time doing whatever in the presence of the dragon. Despite the cold demeanor he often showed, he was very tolerant of her bubbly behavior. Moreover, he found himself to enjoy her company--it made him feel less lonely as he guarded the tree.

“I would just like to sit with you today, if that’s alright.” She said as she approached the base of the tree. After her countless visits, Ladon memorized her actions, behaviors, and even her mannerisms. He knew firmly well that Aigle wouldn’t steal the fruit. He huffed in response to her request.

“If you won’t say anything else, I’ll take your silence as a yes.” The dragon made no sound, so with a beaming smile she seats herself, leaning against the trunk in peace.

“How was your slumber?” He asks gently. Ladon gazes at her pleasant expression from the top of the branches.

“It was pleasant, I had a wonderful dream.” 

“And that is?” Her eyes open to return his gaze, animating with glee in the process.

“Humans with magical powers, Ladon! They were like the Gods and Goddesses, except that cultivated their skills through special schooling!” Excitement filled her voice as she stared into his blue orbs intently.

“They don’t sound like the Gods and Goddesses to me.” He snorted.

“Oh don’t be such a killjoy! It was truly wonderful! They dressed so differently too! It was quite peculiar, but it was alright.” The dragon only scoffs in response.

The ground surrounding the nymph had sprouted with blossoms as a result of her fascination. As silence loomed in the air, an idea came into mind. She gently plucked the small flowers. From her fingertips, she then produced small, thin vines. With much precision and swiftness, she interweaved the two together, tied up the ends, forming a dainty flower crown. 

“Ladon,” She called out from beneath him. The dragon looked down as she stood from her spot. With the flower crown in her hands, she reaches, delicately placing her creation on top of his head. Ladon huffed.

“What is this?” He asks.

“A gift, for you! I knew it’d look good on you.” The intensity of Ladon’s eyes softened at Aigle. He was known, by others, for his fright, yet when he was around her, he was appreciated for the beauty she saw in him. The creature didn’t say much with the exception of producing yet another huff. Although, this time it was filled with contentment.

Aigle ran her hands up and down his snout, caressing his face with much gentleness. He closed his eyes and leaned into her touch in response.

“You’re a beautiful creature, you know that, do you?” Her voice seemingly dripped of nectar as she spoke. When the dragon didn’t speak, she continued.

“Do you think I can meet you in another life? Just like this one?” 

“What’s wrong with this one?” His striking eyes opened to peer into hers.

“Nothing’s wrong. I like it a lot knowing that you’ll always be here.”

“Then why ask the question?” Aigle hesitates for a moment.

“I don’t think I can ever see a life with me living without your company. If I’m born again, I wish to meet you in that life too. The life after that, and the one after that also.” Aigle smiles up at the creature as the last bit of sunset glow graces her face. It was a known fact that she, amongst her sisters, was the most beautiful evening nymph. Her beauty, however, exuded compassion and care. Underneath his scaly exterior, Ladon felt a sense of warmth whenever she was near. He appreciated her existence not in appearance, rather for her persistent efforts to be near and to spread joy to a creature as vile-looking as him. 

Before he could respond, a rustle from a distance perked his attention. A threatening presence filled his senses, and sent his blood boiling within.

“Aigle, hide. Now.” The nymph’s eyes began to widen in fear as their peace was interrupted with much urgency. Ladon roared once more.

“Now. Aigle. Now!” The nymph steps back hesitantly, searching his eyes for reassurance that everything was going to be okay. Instead, she was met with uncertainty, increasing the worry she felt in her heart. Nevertheless, she followed his command, camouflaging herself within the brushes surrounding the tree. The rustles continue to increase in volume, making out to be the footsteps of someone near. Using her power, she travels through the garden, seeking out the foreigner. Her senses heighten at the sight of a deranged Heracles, the hero who was once praised now desperate for redemption.

He drags his feet through the garden muttering, “Golden apples. Where are those damned golden apples!?” Heracles had his hand clutched on the grip of his sword, seemingly ready to withdraw it from its sheath.

Aigle continues to follow him with her heart beating against her chest. Her thoughts flee to Ladon’s well-being, as she thinks of strategies to protect him. With attempts to stall the demigod, she lifts her hands, inducing trees to spring up in a sporadic fashion. However, Heracles doesn’t seem to notice as his focus remains on his target. He trudges on with much frustration, and Aigle continues to throw any kind of distraction to keep him from finding Ladon and the golden apples. However, her capabilities grow faint as her energy depletes. Tears stream down her face as she watches Heracles inevitably locate the tree. She watches as Ladon, who remains fervently coiled around its trunk, extends his body to coax the man away. 

Her last sight of him alive proceeds as Heracles withdraws his sword to strike his body. Within a split second, Ladon who was alive, laid on the ground in two. Fluid oozes from his insides and stains the grass beneath him. His breaths are sparse. 

Meanwhile, Heracles steps forward, kicking the dragon’s bottom half aside, and proceeds to pick the golden fruit from its branches. Satisfied with the amount he has collected, he walks away without any thought of the serpent laying practically dead on the floor.

Aigle lets out a piercing cry as she comes out of hiding. She runs to him and falls to her knees with her face striped with tears, heartbroken. With shaken hands, she delicately strokes the side of his face for the last time.

“Aigle,” He croaks. The nymph who was once radiantly shining, releases a sob. She gazes into his weary eyes for one last time.

“I promise I’ll be looking for you in each one.” At the sound of his last words, Aigle breaks into a wailing mess. She mourns her beloved friend, her beautiful and brave dragon--Ladon, who valiantly carried out his task while bringing her much joy. The moonlight shines upon them as she continues to wallow in tears. Her sounds are so heartbreaking that it catches the attention of the Goddess of Marriage herself.

Arriving within a flash, Hera gasps at the sight of Aigle embracing what was left of Ladon.

“My dear, what happened here?” She lifts up the nymph into her arms, caressing her hair gently.

With sobs filling her voice, she chokes out, “Heracles. Ladon tried to protect the tree. He really did! And yet-” The goddess shushes her cries as memories of him flash through her mind. Her breaths slow down after a moment, and her once audible cries now reduce to silent tears. Hera, with a soothing voice, comforts the girl.

“Aigle, I know you loved him very much. For your love and loyalty I bestow you a gift.” The nymph looks at her with confusion. 

“Look at the sky.” Following her directions, Aigle stretches her neck to the night. Upon doing so, she’s met with a new formation of stars--one that took the shape of her serpentine friend. The dragon, Draco. As she looks up, tears stream down her cheeks.

“He’ll always be here, looking for you. He’ll find his way back to you. I know it.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N jolted awake with tears in her eyes. The sounds of birds chirping immediately fill her ears, as the rays of morning light infiltrate her yellow-clad room. She gingerly touched her face, the feeling of longing still burned in her chest. The dream was so vivid and so real that her heart felt heavy within her wake. The last few words Hera murmured rang clearly in her mind. It wasn’t something she could shake off so easily even if she tried. Ladon. Would she ever meet him in this life? She glanced at the clock--there wasn’t much time until class began. Wiping the wet traces off of her face, she got up to fix herself before making her way to her first lesson of the day, Divination.

Chatters filled the classroom when she entered. The space was split with Hufflepuffs nearest to the entrance and Slytherins on the farther side. The girl was shrouded in sadness as she made her way to her seat. Her eyes were red and puffy, her nose was slightly runny, and her body felt weak. 

“What’s gotten into you?” Your friend asked. You only shook your head in response, not understanding the reason for your sadness yourself. The sound of the bell prompts the class to begin. You wipe the tiredness from your eyes as Professor Trelawney navigated her way to the front of the room. 

“Welcome to another day of divination, my children! Today we will be learning about something important: dream interpretation!” Her voice resounds at the mentioning of the topic, catching your attention and making your heart race.

“Dreams, my dears, are the most crucial means to look into the future! Each dream that you have contains a meaning--a message--depending on its contents! Let’s get started!” Trelawney glides across the room, peering at various students. A great majority looks at her with exasperated expressions, while others turn away to avoid getting caught. She stops at a familiar blonde.

“Mr. Malfoy, let’s begin with you!” A scowl can be seen plastering his face in distaste. 

“Any dreams recently?” The question wasn’t something that would be usually asked in such a public setting. It was weird to you, certainly enough. However, what was more odd was Draco’s hesitance. He was a striking character most of the time. He always had something snarky to say, most especially when it came to divination, but today he kept silent. You examined his nervousness as he shuffled in his seat. You couldn’t blame him.

“No, professor.” He states simply after what seemed like a solid minute of silence. You kept your eyes on his expression. While his response meant one thing, the bothered look on his face couldn’t go unnoticed. There was something off about his aura, and you could feel it. Trelawny stepped back and nodded slightly. She continued looking for another volunteer to share. As she did so, you kept your eyes set on the Malfoy. You were drawn to him on this day in particular, and you weren’t sure why. His glance met up with yours, paralyzing you for a moment before the professor’s voice resounded once again.

“Y/N, how about you? Any dreams?” The sound of her voice was alluring as your sights shifted to her. She looked deeply into your eyes as though she was trying to search your mind. You stayed still, thinking about the one you had the night prior. If anyone could tell you the purpose behind your dreams, it would most likely be Trelawny. Everyone’s focus was now trained on you. 

“I did have one.” You admit quietly. You were astonished by your actions, having done so mindlessly. Regardless, the professor’s expression lit up at the sound of your words. She gestured for you to continue on.

“It was of a girl and a dragon.” You say with much hesitation. Trelawney’s eyes widened.

“Continue my dear,” she says rushedly, “what happened?” You stayed silent for a bit before cautiously deciding to go on. 

“The dragon protected a tree...and the girl loved the dragon--she was always by his side. Unfortunately, he was killed trying to protect it, leaving her alone and heartbroken.” A rush of emotions filled you once again, mourning the loss of a friend. The woman’s eyes softened a bit, while the class was dead silent, interested in what the professor would have to say. 

Draco, in particular, was mortified. As you sat there in contemplation, a heavy weight seemed to drop in his gut while his heart picked up its pace simultaneously. When the professor asked him to share his dreams, the feeling of vulnerability overcame him when he recalled his own. He had cried silently that night prior--having fallen for the nymph that occupied his subconscious. He recalled the vivid feeling of her touch, her soothing words, and the way the evening sun glowed on her face. He recalled Aigle’s swift-acting power as she tried to stall Heracles. The last thing he remembered from that dream was his death, carrying out his loyalty to the goddess, and making a promise to his beloved friend. What Draco didn’t expect, however, was the retelling of such coming from your lips. It was when he saw the look on your face that his heart sped up once more. 

“They made a promise to meet each other in whatever life came next...then the goddess that oversaw them both casted an image of the dragon in the stars.” The emotions you felt in the dream overcame you as a tear threatened to fall from your eyes. You hurriedly wiped it away and swallowed the feelings before looking up at the professor.

“I don’t know what it could possibly mean, professor. It was very vivid.” The professor looked at you with pity, before turning to her attention briefly to the class.

“Everyone, turn to your partners and discuss your dreams.” With the class’s attention now diverted, Trelawney beckoned you to come sit with her. As you do so, Draco’s line of vision remains on you.

A more secure sense of privacy surrounds you and your teacher. While the room began to fill itself with chatters once again, you directed full attention to her, expectant of what she had to say.

“Typically, dreams are foretellings of the future, child. The appearance of a past life doesn’t usually mean anything unless there’s a specific message involved.” Your eyes widened in disbelief.

“When you spoke about the promise, however, I believe the universe was trying to show you that there is someone waiting for you in this world. Perhaps this person takes a resemblance to the dragon, whether physically or even personality-wise. Nevertheless, he has awoken, and now he’s looking for you.” The words that left Trelawney’s mouth kept you in a state of awe. You sat there with hands folded on your lap, fingers fumbling, and knee bouncing. As you remained in a state of contemplation, the bell chimed, signalling the end of the lesson. As you stood to say goodbye to the professor, she cuts you off.

“My dear, senses tell me that he’s much closer than you think. You best keep your eyes and heart open.” You had nothing to say, so you just nod. Your mind was full of thoughts, leaving you to ponder about the identity of this person all day. 

You weren’t the only one curious. The moment Draco heard what you had to say, his awareness of you increased. His feelings told him to be simple and straightforward with you, but his mind was firm and stubborn. However, his body betrays him as he finds himself pacing in front of the divination class with questions that needed to be answered. You walk out of the room with books in hand, unaware of Draco’s presence. Just as you’re about to turn into the corridor, the boy bumps into you, resulting in you falling over and everything flying out of your arms. 

“What the heck was that?” You ask frustratingly as you brush dirt off your knees. The platinum blonde boy looks at you in shock. You don’t bother looking up. Instead, you proceed to pick up the books that fell on the floor. He doesn’t know what overcame in the moment when he stretched out his hand to you. All he wanted was to feel your touch. You glance up warily at the owner only to be taken aback as well.

“Malfoy?” you ask. His head was turned to the side, eyebrows furrowed, and the entirety of his side profile was exposed to you. You took notice of his pale complexion, the way his lips were slightly parted, and how his jawline sculpted and framed his face. He was beautiful. However, more of your attention was drawn to his locks. ‘Platinum’ you thought. As you did so the image of the dragon’s appearance flashed across your vision. Your eyes widened, but before you could process your thoughts the sound of Draco’s voice filled your ears.

“My arm has been extended for centuries now, Y/L/N, and you’re still on the floor. Don’t you have a class to get to?” You broke out of thought and mindlessly took hold of his hand. As he pulled you up, the boy felt a wave of shivers overflowing his body. The warmth of your skin felt familiar against his own, causing a rage of heart beats to spread across his chest. As he turns his head to face you, you let out an audible gasp.

Alarming you was his striking blue eyes as his gazed pierced through your own. Out of shock, you pull your hand out of his hold and trudged past him without saying a word. You weren’t even aware of where you were going. You simply allowed your legs to take you to your next destination as you cope with the heightening of your senses.

There was no way right? There’s no way that Malfoy could be…You shook your head, trying to take your mind off of the chances as you entered your next class. You made sure to be cautious throughout the day, taking care in avoiding the boy as much as possible. There was no denying the reputation that he had in school--students have been sent to Madam Pomfrey’s a number of times because of him. His rude comments, arrogant pride--they all deterred you away from him. Nevertheless, you felt something blooming in your chest, because the dragon you knew in your dreams was patient and tolerant. You were simply uncertain to say the least.

The boy looked at his palm in awe as you walked away. When he turned around, you were already gone. He clenched his hand into a fist as if the action would retain the warmth he had felt. He recalled the look of shock in your eyes before it was glossed over by denial and  sighed. How he longed to know.

As the week dragged on, you managed to keep your distance from the blonde--luckily, he didn’t approach you ever since. However, your attempts to concentrate in your classes were futile as small fragments of the dream replayed within your mind. Your thoughts were often focused on the image of Ladon that appeared so suddenly when Draco stood in front of you. You found that the words, “platinum” and “blue” ran through your mind constantly--not to mention his piercing gaze. Such imagery finds its way into your thoughts as you sit in the library, quill in hand as you work on your homework assignments. As you continue, you can’t help but wonder if he felt it too.

“I promise I’ll find you in every one.” A familiar voice rings within your mind without warning, inducing your head to pulse. You tried to fight it off for a moment, but the pain wouldn’t subside. Deciding it was time for a break, you set your quill down and made your way to the courtyard outside.

Meanwhile Draco, who spent his afternoons reading, situated himself on top of a tree, enjoying the silence which contrasted to the heavy banter in the Slytherin common room. A soft breeze ran through his platinum locks as the sun began to darken in its golden hue. He took a moment to observe the color of the sky change, prompting a series of flashbacks to flow.

“A gift, for you! I knew it’d look good on you.” There was no face attached to the dialogue, but he recalled the rosy feeling sharply.

“You’re a beautiful creature, you know that, do you?” Draco closed his eyes allowing himself to witness the emergence of his distant past.

“I would just like to sit with you today, if that’s alright.” The voice rang deeply in his mind. At the instant that the request had emerged in his thoughts, a loud crunching of leaves filled his hearing. As soon as he opened his eyes, you miraculously appeared into view, walking towards the tree he was situated in. His heartbeat raced quickly, but he kept silent, carefully observing your actions.

You sat down on its base and leaned your head against the trunk, letting out a sigh. Your head didn’t stop pulsing after you left the library. Despite that, your body relaxed upon the breeze brushing past your skin. You wrapped your arms around your waist and closed your eyes in contentment, basking in the nature that embraced you. The boy looked at you in awe. There you were right beneath him, as if the universe had orchestrated this scenario perfectly. The sight of your gentle expression stirs warmth within him, and the flow of memories seem to match this very moment to that of Aigle’s and Ladon’s. Suddenly, within the synchronization of time and space, Draco is Ladon, and in his eyes you are Aigle once again. 

The energy that had surrounded the pair from the past finds it way back to you, and the familiar feel of beloved peace and comfort induces you to open your eyes. The sun that had been going down, casts its glow on you as you look up. ‘Blue striking eyes and  platinum hair’ Your heart skips as you place your hand over your mouth. The dragon you’ve been mourning over had presented himself to you.

“Do you think I can meet you in another life? Just like this one?” The lines ring in your mind as Draco hops down. You get up and stand in front of him, your gazes meeting and never breaking. 

“I promise I’ll be looking for you in each one.” Your eyes search his and scan his face. Recalling the days when you were Aigle, tears began streaming down your face. You allowed your previous perceptions of Draco to melt within the energy of the reunion. 

You shakily lifted your hands and cupped his face in disbelief. Draco, in turn, closed his eyes and leaned into your touch. Both hearts paced quickly as a result of the awaited meeting. You stroked the boy’s cheek with your thumb, causing his eyes to flutter open. He watched as your fingers delicately brushed the space in between his eyebrows, proceeding to his eyelids, down the bridge of his nose, and finally his lips.

“Aigle?” Your old name passes through his lips low and hesitantly, but it’s enough to make you gasp. 

“It really is you, isn’t it? Ladon?” Draco grabs your wrists.

“It is.” The boy looks into your eyes as tears silently streamed down your face.

“You found me.” 

“I promised you I would.” You embraced him tightly, allowing the sound of his heart beat fill you up--it was the very proof that he was alive. His arms wrap around you, and you can feel his fists bunching up the fabric of your robes as his face nuzzles into your neck. The both of you took this moment to embrace the new reality.

As you step away from each other, Draco caresses your cheek and pressed his lips to your forehead. It wasn’t a form of affection he was used to showing, yet it occurred naturally within your presence. You closed your eyes upon feeling the sensation of his lips. They soon leave you only to ghost over your own. 

In a low whisper, he asks, “May I?” You let out a soft ‘mhm’ in response.

The sensation you felt on your forehead takes over your lips as Draco’s brushes his against your own. The feelings of longing pour out from both parties, and suddenly it didn’t matter that you were a Hufflepuff or if he was Slytherin. There was a lot of catching up to do, a lot of changes to be made, but all of that wasn’t important in the moment. All that mattered was that you found each other, you had one another--the appreciation you had shared never truly left. Instead, you only picked up from where you left off.

“It’s nice meeting you, Draco.” You chuckled softly as you broke the kiss. The boy rolled his eyes before letting out a small chuckle himself.

“It’s nice meeting you again, Y/N.” He presses his lips on yours once more, as you dissolve in his embrace.

Epilogue:

You both find yourselves in the astronomy tower that night. Draco looks at the girl pointing to the sky. His arms wrapped around her from behind as they leaned against the railing of the astronomy tower, gazing up at the stars.

“When Ladon left, Hera found Aigle in tears and casted his image to the skies in his remembrance.” She points to the blonde.

“That image, that constellation, is you Draco.” He tightens his grip on you.

“And I’ll never leave again.”

A/N: Thank you for reading! Any feedback is very much appreciated!

[jinterlude]

Knock

→ Pairing: Kim Myungjun x Reader (female OC) [feat. Kim Seokjin and Park Jinwoo] → Genre(s): Romance, Fluff, Friendship, Humor, and & Slight-Angst → AUs/Tropes: Non-Idolverse, Fashionista!Reader, Fashion Editor!Reader, Accountant!Myungjun, Strangers to Lovers trope → Word Count: 5.6K → Warning(s) & Rating: alcohol, alcohol consumption, heartbreak, swearing, & shameless flirting from MJ | PG-15 → Summary: In what seemed like a normal meetup with a friend ended up changing your life forever... → A/N: The majority of this story is set in the past; hence, the past tense, but near the end, it does switch to present tense as the two leading characters finish reminiscing about their first meeting! I apologize in advance if it’s a bit confusing and/or hard to read! I will use some sort of line break to separate the past from the present to make it, hopefully, a tad easier!  ☄ This one-shot is dedicated to an incredibly good friend of mine, Beanie @jinned​, who is the sole reason why I even got into Astro and officially place MJ on my list of ULTS. He may or may not even be ult of ults. We will see! 

“In the end, you’ll thank me as our marriage would’ve been a mistake...You know it. And I know it…” 

That phrase knocked the wind out of you as you remained speechless ‒ practically mute ‒ while the loud and bustling noise of the fine dining restaurant continued in the background. You opened your mouth, desperate to form a coherent sentence. Shit. Even an audible word would suffice, but you honestly couldn’t.

The person you firmly believed, with all your heart, that he was the one for you, sat right across the table and declared that the wedding was off—terminated. 

The wedding was scheduled to happen in just two months. Two...fucking...months…

“___,” Your fiancé began, breaking you away from your thoughts, “I honestly can’t express how deeply sorry I am for doing this to you, but it was the only way I can preserve our twenty-something friendship.”

“Friendship?” You scoffed, finally finding your voice. “You broke our year-long engagement so that you can PRESERVE OUR FRIENDSHIP?! Are you kidding me, Kim Seokjin?!” You practically boomed, alarming the patrons around you, but you didn’t care. 

Seokjin tried to calm you but ultimately fails. Your emotions ran rampant throughout your body that nothing and no one could relax you. Well, Seokjin used to be able to, but since he’s the source of your fury, it’s pointless. 

Forcing an airy chuckle, you reached over to your wine glass, drinking it all in seconds. The cool liquid hits the back of your throat but soon leaves behind this warm sensation. You felt that warmth settles within your cheeks, creating this pinkish hue, as you flag down a passing waiter and swiftly order another glass of your favorite wine. Within minutes, your second glass of wine appeared right in front of you. At first, you’re tempted to down it as you’ve done with the first glass, but then you opted against it. The last thing you needed to be was a drunken, heartbroken woman in a luxurious restaurant. At the same time, your ex-fiancé remained calm and collected. Then, the surrounding people - both the workers and customers ‒ would sympathize with him and utter phrases like, “Damn. He dodged a bullet. Look at the way she’s behaving, especially after he explained that he only wants to preserve their friendship.” 

“God damn it…” You whispered, taking a long, deep breath, as you realize that Seokjin is right. Your marriage would be a mistake, especially if you’ve fallen out of love with him. 

“___?” Seokjin questioned, noting this trance-like expression written all over your precious face. 

“Why do you have to be right? Even up until the end of our relationship, you just have to be right…” You trailed on as a small, almost nostalgic-like smile slowly dances across your face. 

Seokjin chuckled softly, “Well, someone has to be.” 

“Yeah…” You nodded, maintaining that tiny grin as your eyes trail down to your ring finger. Slowly, you slid off the engagement ring, freeing yourself of this heavy burden that you’ve never known you had until tonight. Then, with your right hand, you placed it gently in front of Seokjin, saying one last farewell to him. You thanked him for being your first of every romantic milestone you’ve experienced.

As you stood up, placing a few twenty-dollar bills on the table, you said softly, 

“I hope you find someone that will make you unconditionally happy.”

“I hope the same for you, ___. I truly do hope you find your soulmate.” 

You uttered a quick thanks before walking from the table and towards a new chapter in your life. 

An intriguing yet uncertain chapter where you explored the idea of being single again after so many years. 

It should be a fun adventure, right? 

Well, it was in the beginning. Yet like with everything else in life, it was only natural you’d experience some ‒ let’s just say ‒ writer’s block. 

The first few pages contained incredible details of the first year since your breakup from Seokjin. You found yourself going back to school and majoring in fashion while finding the time to minor in journalism. During that good old university life, you met a person who you now considered a dear, close friend of yours. 

Eun Byeol. Now that was a true definition of a “ride or die” friend. To this day, you still remember how you essentially handcuffed your roommate-turned-best friend to the closet door handle, preventing her from driving over to your ex-fiancé’s place and destroying his most prized possession. Yep. You guessed it—his 1960s candy red Jaguar E-Type car. Stereotypical of a fella valuing his vintage ride above anything else, but shit. Even you found yourself admiring that beautiful car once in a while. 

But that was ancient history. Old news—just like your editorial on the most fashion show in Milan would be if you didn’t stop reminiscing about your first love and haul your ass. 

Lightly shaking your head, forcing yourself back into reality, you cleared your throat a few times, sniffing the Tropical fruit scents that lingered around your office. 

“I could really go for a mango shaved ice…” You muttered, blankly staring at your document as little to no inspiration enters your mind. You drummed your fingers against the keys, desperately hoping that something - anything - would jump right out of your brilliant mind and land directly on the page; thus, resulting in a finished article to hand over to the boss lady. 

Yet here you sat for another couple of hours staring at the same paragraph. You were pretty sure that you edited that paragraph to the point that it wasn’t even a paragraph. You somehow managed to dwindle it down to a three-sentence summary of Emma Aruda, a rising top model, and how stunning she looked walking the runway. Great. Now your column was too short, thanks to your sudden need to edit before it was even completed. 

“Come on, inspiration…” You groaned, slouching in your office chair as you swiveled back and forth, looking at the blanket of white that you called a ceiling. 

“You know...the longer you keep your head positioned like that, the higher the chance of your brain cells leaving will be…” quipped a familiar voice, causing you to swivel towards your door. 

Soon, a small grin formed on your face as you lightly scoffed at that person’s words. 

“Well, hello to you too, Eun Byeol.” You greeted, sitting up straight but still resting your elbows on the arms of your chair.

Eun Byeol flashed a warm smile ‒ so warm and inviting that it could even get the coldest, most standoffish person to greet her back ‒ as she strode towards your desk and leaned against the edge. 

“Dumb question, but what’s with frustration radiating off of you?” 

“Oh, my brain stupidly remembered my relationship with Seokjin while I was in the middle of writing this article, and now I’m stuck…”

You heard Eun Byeol winced, grimacing as you went into details of the memories that resurfaced in your mind. As each word escaped your sweet lips, the more this unbearable stab pressed against the chest. To be more precise, this cruciating pain that invaded your heart. 

“Damn, ___. It’s been like, what? Five years since he called off the engagement? I thought you were officially over that arrogant ass.”  asked Eun Byeol, clearly fed up with your ex, as evidence in her tone of voice. You couldn’t help but shrink in your chair as each of your drear friend’s words grazed your soft skin. 

Taking a long, deep breath before exhaling slowly, you tilted your head towards your friend, revealing a small and remorseful smile. You felt guilty mentioning him towards, fully aware of how she had rather colorful opinions of him. 

“I am over him, but can you blame me for remembering the good old days I experienced with him?” 

Now, it was your friend’s turn to feel a tad guilty for allowing and directing her fury towards you. Eun Byeol knew you were over him, but you fell victim to the old saying, “One never truly forgets their first love,” and that was Seokjin. He was your first love, and he might be even your last—unless her boyfriend’s longtime friend was still single. 

Then, a lightbulb lit up in her devious mind as this scheming smirk danced across her face, instantly alerting you. That smirk usually led to some rather “exciting” shenanigans, and most often than not, you went home questioning your life choices and wondering how on Earth did your friendship with Eun Byeol last this long. 

As you opened your mouth, ready to warn your friend, she beat you the punch. 

“What are you doing tonight?” 

“Uh, besides pulling an all-nighter to finish this article? Nothing. Why?” You asked with a wary expression. Your eyes slightly narrowed while your brows became knitted together. 

“Wrong! You’re coming out with me for drinks at this bar Jinwoo and I usually frequent whenever our schedules allow it.” Eun Byeol announced, overly excited, further adding to your suspicions. 

You swiftly glanced at your editorial piece before flickering your gaze back to your friend. You sucked in some air through your clenched teeth. Your mind desperately tried to find any, if at all, hidden motives behind Eun Byeol’s random invitation. Unfortunately, you came up with nothing. No secret plans that laid underneath the seemingly harmless invite that your brain could zero in on. 

“It’s just the two of us, right?” You asked, feeling apprehensive towards Eun Byeol’s invite. 

Eun Byeol simply nodded, smiling brightly as she promised you that it would be just the two of you, and that was all. 

After mulling it over for a good minute or two, you whined loudly before agreeing to go out with her. 

“But I’m stopping after two Whiskey Sours! I still have a deadline to meet, unlike someone who’s currently in my office and clearly being a bad influence.” 

Eun Byeol snorted in response, “Please. If I was such a bad influence, would I suggest that we steal Seokjin’s car and take it on a joy ride?”

“Actually, you did. Like, several times.” 

“Shut up and write your damn column.” Teased Eun Byeol before exiting your office. As she created enough distance between her and your office, she fished out her phone from the pocket of her black slacks and sent a quick text message to her boyfriend. A message that read,

“Hey, can you convince MJ to come to our favorite bar? I’d think he’d be perfect for ___!” 

Not even a minute after pressing send, Eun Byeol received a response that said, 

“I’ll do my best, but he’s been moping lately since his last date ghosted him without any warning. Plus, you can’t forget how soul-sucking our line of work is, babe.”

Eun Byeol giggled softly as she typed out, 

“Even more reason to add a certain fashionista to his dull life. She’ll liven it up with her colorful and bright personality,” 

She then scrolled through her list of emojis, picking the perfect one before sending it. After waiting for what seemed like ten minutes, her boyfriend didn’t reply, meaning that he was on board and hopefully planting the seed at that moment. 

“Oh, please let them hit it off…” thought Eun Byeol as she journeyed back to her office, dying to know if her boyfriend executed his mission perfectly. 

Yet like with any task, there were bound to be tiny hiccups as Jinwoo exhausted all his go-to methods to convince his close friend, Kim Myungjun. While Eun Byeol and ___ worked at one of the top fashion empires, he and Myungjun worked a regular office job, crunching numbers for their CEO. 

Again, a soul-crushing type of profession, and it didn’t help that their office space was oddly white. Everywhere Jinwoo turned, it was just pure white. Apparently, someone thought it’d be a brilliant idea to add fluorescent lighting into the mi; the entire building gave off this abnormally cleanliness vibe. 

Every day that Jinwoo walked into the office, he seriously felt that he entered that agency from the hit movie Men in Black, especially in his black and white two-piece suit that his company required the workers to wear.  What was next? He’d get a cool gadget that wiped civilians’ memories? 

“Oh, man. That’d be amazing…” He mumbled, unaware of someone standing behind him. 

“What’d be amazing, JinJin?” asked an all too familiar voice belonging to a person that Jinwoo actually had to see. 

The eager man turned his chair around, now face-to-face with his close friend and coworker—Myungjun. 

Quickly clearing his throat, Jinwoo plastered on the warmest smile his face could handle and happily greeted his friend. 

Myungjun, at first, felt weirded out by his friend’s sudden surge in energy but soon brushed it off. He then matched Jinwoo’s energy, capturing the attention of a few bystanders. 

“So back to my question, what would be amazing?” questioned Myungjun, ignoring the strange glances he and Jinwoo earned from their coworkers. 

“Um…” Jinwoo began, nervously chuckling, “It would be amazing if you and I go out for drinks tonight, especially after how shitty this week has been.” 

“I don’t know, man, like you said, it’s been a shitty week, and I don’t think I’m up for going out and having a fun time with you and the rest of our buddies.” 

“Come on, MJ, you’re still not moping about what’s her face? She’s not worth your time, especially when you weren’t worth hers.” Jinwoo retorted, hoping that his tough-love approach would entice him to come out and meet his girlfriend’s friend. Sadly, it didn’t. If anything, his words made Myungjun even more upset as this solemn expression washed over his once joyous face. Now, his friend looked as if someone took his heart right out of his chest and crushed it with their bare hands. 

“Alright...new approach…” Jinwoo switched tactics, going for the more “brotherly advice” approach, “Look, I was out of line, and for that, I’m sorry MJ. But I honestly hate seeing you upset over her, so please come out with me tonight. Tomorrow, you can sit at home alone and mope on the couch. Deal?” 

Myungjun made a face, weighing his options but ultimately leaning towards going out. After all, Jinwoo was right. His loneliness and favorite couch would be there tomorrow, so where was the harm in downing a few shots of Vodka to numb the hurt?

“Fine, deal. What’s this place called?” 

“Ahora.” 

A quizzical expression slowly washed over Myungjun’s face as he couldn’t help but question the intriguing choice of that bar name. 

While the uncertainty still filled his entire body, something deep within told him that something ‒ or maybe someone ‒ would change his life after tonight. 

Mustering his signature thousand-watt smile; his eyes practically disappeared as he did, Myungjun gave his friend a thumb’s up and said, 

“Alright. See you tonight! Maybe you and I can finally see who can drink the most without acting goofy after the third drink!”

Jinwoo playfully shook his head, letting out a few light chuckles. 

“I don’t know, my dude. I think I got you beat the last time we had our little drinking competition.” He teased, masking his hidden motive behind inviting his buddy out. Secretly, he hoped that Myungjun would ask like his goofy self since, according to Eun Byeol, you had a thing for comedic guys. 

Now, the real question was, how would Myungjun successfully capture your heart? 

“So, what should I wear?” Jinwoo heard Myungjun ask, forcibly removing him from his frenzy thoughts. 

“Um…” Jinwoo paused, silently panicking since his girlfriend never told him what you were going to wear tonight or even your preferred style on men. “Do you still have that purple and black striped sweater? You know with that creamy-tan color as well? I think it might be cold.” He suggested though he was unsure of his own recommendation. Honestly, he began questioning his life choices when he said, “purple and black striped sweater.” 

A faint hum emitted from Myungjun’s lips while he mulled over his buddy’s fashion suggestion. Then, he simply shrugged, going along with Jinwoo’s choice. 

“Yeah, I think I have that sweater still. Wait.” The biggest grin danced across his handsome face, “I knew you loved that sweater on me!” He cheered, flinging his arms around Jinwoo’s neck and giving him the warmest hug known to man. 

“Let go! People are staring at us weirdly!!”

“Let them stare! I want the entire world to know how amazing of a friend you are to me!”

“Damn, you just had to make it even creepier. Didn’t you?” 

“You know me so well.”

Later that evening, while Myungjun knew what he’d wear on his night out with the fellas, you were the polar opposite. You rummaged through your walk-in closet, flinging every single clothing hanger you could get your hands on. You tossed aside the latest peacoats, dresses, wool sweaters, everything onto the floor because nothing matched the vision you had in your fashionista brain. While, yes, it was just going out for a few drinks with Eun Byeol, you still wanted to look reasonably decent just in case Mr. Right made an appearance. 

Silently scolding yourself while you tap the pads of your fingers against one another as you desperately try to capture the perfect attire you envisioned yourself. Minutes had gone by, and you still drew a blank. You even pressed your cold lips against your fingers, slightly enjoying the warmth that radiated from your hands. Then, it finally dawned on you as millions of light bulbs lit up in your pretty mind like a beautiful and well-organized lamp display at a furniture store. 

“I’m a dumbass.” You teased, softly chuckling as you pulled out this dark gray pin-striped black peacoat and gently draping it over your desk chair. Then, you flipped through your rack, your fingers grazing the fabric of your blouses, button-ups, and plain old t-shirts. Your eyes scanned each article of clothing until you found the perfect blouse that would compliment the jacket perfectly. You pulled out this satin white long-sleeved blouse with ruffles on the ends of both sleeves and the collar. 

With a pleased smile, you gently laid the blouse over the jacket before grabbing a nice pair of navy blue slacks. The very same pair of slacks that Eun Byeol has dubbed “the highlighter” because apparently it perfectly accentuated the best parts of your body—whatever that meant. 

Grabbing both the coat and blouse with your pants draped over your forearm, you made your way towards the restroom. Just as you’re about to disappear into the well-lit room, you commanded your Alexa to play your go-to “getting ready” song, “Rebirth of Slick (Cool Like Dat).” The second the opening beat dropped, you bobbed your head to the tune, even swaying your hips as you jammed out.

One by one, your lounge clothes dropped to the floor and soon replaced with your jaw-dropping outfit. You smoothed out any wrinkles that your eye instantly locked on before switching focus to your makeup. 

Now, this might not be an easy task compared to picking out your current outfit. Any look would pair well with your fashion statement. You could go for a “girl next door” look, but did you really want to portray an innocent person tonight, especially with drinks involved? Probably not. 

Suddenly, a short gasp exited your lips as you grabbed all the necessary components for your femme fatale look. Your outfit almost reminded you of the main heroine in a 1940s movie. 

“Okay, let’s see how red I can get my lips this time.” 

Meanwhile, on the other side of town, Myungjun wasn’t exactly having the time of his life.  He remained still as a statue, staring blankly at his closet. Did he genuinely want to go out tonight? Part of him firmly believed that he only agreed to drink his sorrows away and forget about this girl that ghosted him a few weeks back. That was always his problem—he had the tendency to develop an infatuation before the girl does. It was honestly quite pathetic. 

Just as he was a step away from backing out from the hangout, a high-tone pitch echoed throughout Myungjun’s condo. 

With a curious expression, Myungjun shuffled his feet towards his phone, taking it off the charger. His brows perked up as he saw that he received a text message from Jinwoo. 

“Huh. Maybe Jinwoo wants to back out.” He wishfully thought, unlocking his phone to read the message. It said, 

“Hey man, I’m going to be a few minutes late, so you can get a head start on our little drinking competition!” 

Nodding his head, Myungjun hit the message box. Just as he was about to type out his reply, a photo appeared. The image contained a person, who looked to be female, and to his dismay, her head was cropped out. 

“Okay?” He thought, typing out his reply and asking his friend why he received a picture of a woman with excellent taste in clothing. Then, for laughs, Myungjun added, “Is that what you’re wearing, JinJin? I didn’t peg you as the type to wear a frilly blouse.” 

Not even a minute later, the playful fellow received a response, 

“Fuck you, MJ! And to answer your serious question, if you see this girl, can you politely let her know that Eun Byeol is also running late. Apparently, that lady is a college friend of Byeolie, and they coincidentally also wanted to meet at the bar we’re going to. Cool? Thanks!” 

Slightly shaking his head, Myungjun replied with a thumb’s up emoji before locking his phone. 

“Well, I guess you can’t back out now,” He muttered, opening his closet doors and revealing a wide array of clothing, coming in every color known to man. “What did that old man suggest earlier? Oh! Purple, cream-tan, and black pull-over!” Then, a sudden pause filled the air, “That was oddly specific of him to suggest…” He realized, thinking back to their conversation at work. Yet he merely shrugged it off, thinking nothing of it except his friend perhaps wanted him to look good just in case he’d were to meet his Miss Right. 

“Alright, MJ. Pick up the pace. We don’t want the pretty lady waiting too long, do we?” 

Sadly, that happened, and to put it frankly, you were pissed off at Eun Byeol for making you awkwardly wait for what seemed like forever. Granted, it was only an hour that you waited for her, but that was beside the point. 

Nope. The long wait time was not the sole reason behind your agitation. Nuh-uh. It was the fact that your oh-so-dear-friend failed to mention that every couple known to man appeared at the bar tonight. Thus, resulted in you nervously sitting alone at the bar, running the tip of your finger against the rim of your whiskey sour. You then gulped down the last remaining sips before almost slamming it on the counter. With a sour expression, you held up one finger and politely asked for another glass. Just as you mumbled a quick thanks, you felt someone tap your shoulder. 

Instead of giving the “drunken” stranger, more than likely looking for a one-night stand, you wave the person away, citing that you were already waiting for someone. 

“I mean, from the looks of it, I don’t think your friend is coming.” pointed out the stranger, with an unusual high-pitch voice. Though, to give the person the benefit of the doubt, you were used to deep, manly voices. This unknown bystander’s voice was honestly a breath of fresh air. 

Reaching for your second glass of the evening, you swiveled in your seat, coming face-to-face with the stranger. But the moment your eyes landed on him, you felt your jaw drop slightly, forming a tiny “o.” Holy crap, this guy is incredibly gorgeous. 

Quickly snapping out of your gaze, you cleared your throat. 

“I’m sorry? I. Um. What do you mean my friend is not coming?” 

“Just that. I mean, originally, I was supposed to be here 45 minutes ago and give you a heads up that Eun Byeol was running late. Still, I lost track of time getting ready to meet my friend here. However…” he trailed on, looking around. He, too, noticed all the couples chatting it up everywhere and anywhere in the bar that evening. “I’m starting to think that we were set up on a blind date.” 

You softly giggled, “Yeah, I’m getting that hunch as well...I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name.” You replied, unknowingly disregarding the fact that Myungjun mentioned your best friend’s name. 

“Oh! I’m Kim Myungjun, but my friends call me MJ,” Then he playfully winked at you, flashing a bright smile, “I can’t forget pretty girls, like yourself, as well.” 

You snorted, shaking your head in disbelief, “Well, I’ll think about it, but thank you for that disclaimer. Also, you can call me ____.” 

“What? No playful yet flirtatious tactic like me?”

“Maybe. Maybe not. The night is still young, MJ.” 

Hearing his nickname slip past your innocent lips, Myungjun couldn’t help but raise a brow with an interested gleam in his eyes. One corner of his mouth curved upwards as he observed your body language. He silently hoped for your non-verbal cues would give him the “okay” to continue his flirting. When he didn’t see any signs of uncomfortableness radiating off you, he took that as the first and ‒ hopefully ‒ of many positive reactions he’d gained from you throughout the evening. 

Clearing his throat, the suddenly nervous young man glanced around the busy establishment, looking for a vacant booth for the two of you to occupy. Lucky must be on his side as his focused gaze immediately locked on an empty stall in the far right corner. With pursed lips, he swiftly analyzed the location and the atmosphere that surrounded it. Myungjun noted how dimly lit that corner was. With the added candles, that location had this romantic aura swarming it and those who sat in that spot. 

It was perfect for this sudden blind date. 

“So, would you like to sit over there?” asked Myungjun, pointing towards the only empty booth. 

You followed his finger and landed on the isolated corner that screamed passion. Instantly, your eyes widened as your heart rapidly drummed against your chest. Oh, you weren’t prepared for this, but at the same time, you couldn’t help but feel this unexplainable excitement and giddiness. A few emotions that you hadn’t felt in a long time—not since your relationship with Seokjin. Yet to be quite honest, you didn’t feel scared. In fact, you were ready to take that plunge into the deep romantic ocean. You weren’t worried about drowning or hitting a bunch of jagged rocks. You just wanted to take that leap of faith and, perhaps, maybe Myungjun would catch you. 

With a long, drawn-out breath, you steadied your racing heart before answering him, 

“Yeah, let’s do it.” 

In return, Myungjun greeted with his signature thousand-watt smile, resulting in this warm sensation creeping on your pale cheeks. 

“Positive reaction number 2.” He silently cheered as he abruptly held out his hand, hoping you’d take it. “After you, m’lady,” said Myungjun with a hint of playfulness. 

You couldn’t help but chuckle, slightly shaking your head in the process.

“Why, thank you, my kind sir.” You played along, gently grasping his hand and curling your fingers around his. The second you did that, this unspeakable spark shot through both of your arms, surging through your entire body. What made that reaction spectacular was that he interlaced your fingers together as he softly smiled with a genuine warm expression written all over his handsome face. With that smile alone, all recent thoughts about Seokjin and any doubts caused by your former relationship evaporated into thin air. Now, it was just you and Myungjun. 

You took a mental note to thank Eun Byeol for setting up this blind date as you guided your bodies towards the booth. Naturally, you picked up the pace as you didn’t want anyone else to steal that perfect spot meant for the both of you. 

Little by little, you pushed through the sea of people, swiftly closing the gap between your bodies and the table. 

“Which side do you want?” You politely asked as you couldn’t help but notice a defeated couple look for somewhere else to sit. Huh. Perfect timing on your part. 

Myungjun softly tapped his chin with his free hand as this faint hum emitted from his lips. Then, a bold idea appeared in his mind. Depending on how you’d answer, he could either make incredible progress or back to square one with you. Well, it was time to find out. 

“I have a better idea. Why don’t I sit right next to you? You know so that you can hear me better, especially with how noisy it is right now.” 

A tiny squeal escaped your lips as your eyes went round. Your face flushed from Myungjun’s boldness. 

“Okay, ____. You need to form a string of coherent words.” You chastised yourself, feeling a tad foolish that you’re this nervous to the point that you can’t even form a simple sentence. “You can do it. All you need to say is, “Sure. You can sit next to me.” Is that so damn hard?” You mumbled to yourself—or so you thought. 

“Um. I don’t know, sweetheart. Is it tough to say that you want to sit next to me?”

“Uh...no?”

“Really? You don’t sound so sure of yourself.” 

“I mean, yes, we should sit right next to each other.” 

You nervously chuckled as you entered the booth, placing your drink on the edge of the table just before shuffling towards the middle of the table with Myungjun following after. You then kindly ask him if he could slide your almost finished Whiskey Sour to you, which he did but not without some playful quips towards you. He teased you for acting like a nervous wreck, blaming the fact that you probably had one too many drinks already. You argued back, stating that you only had two drinks and that it was all his fault for making you this worked up. 

Myungjun chuckled in response but soon, that boyish grin vanished from his face and was replaced with a scheming yet charming smirk. What was he planning? And as soon as you parted your sweet lips, Myungjun’s face was inches away from yours. One wrong you move and the two of you would lock lips right then and there. That’s how close you were to each other. 

“Oh? So, it’s my fault, then how are you feeling now?” He whispered. His warm breath fanned your cheeks as his gaze darted between your doe-like stare and your apple-red lips. “Am I making you extremely worked up—”

“Hold up! That’s not how our first date went, MJ.” You say, interrupting your boyfriend’s somewhat exaggerated story. You’re almost sure that he’s currently telling a rendition of what he wishes occurred on your first date. 

Myungjun scoffs, putting on the theatrics, clearly finding your words offensive. 

“It is so! I distinctly remember you had two drinks that evening; hence, you becoming a blushing mess around me. Ooh! You can’t forget the fact that you wanted to kiss me as well.” He argues, acting like a child debating who’s the better superhero, Superman or Batman, with a school friend. You don’t know how you’ve managed to last an entire year with this dramatic fool. 

“JinJin! Tell her how wrong she is!” Myungjun whines to his close friend and boyfriend of Eun Byeol. 

You shoot Jinwoo a look, questioning why he’s even there on your anniversary date. 

Jinwoo pauses, silently sipping his Coca-Cola as he still needs to drive home after he’s done hiding from his girlfriend, who he accidentally angered. A look of hesitation washes over his face as the poor fella absolutely does not want to get in the middle of your guys’ argument. After all, Myungjun is the reason why he’s able to safely hide from his furious significant other. But also, that stupid pretty boy is the cause of his and Eun Byeol’s argument in the first place. 

So…

“Well, first of all, you’re both misremembering your first date because it actually wasn’t a blind date. You two had met previously at mine and Eun Byeol’s housewarming party. Then, you two decided to start out as friends because,” Jinwoo points to you, “You're in a relationship with Seokjin. Myungjun was seeing some random chick that I’ve forgotten the name for her.” He stated, debunking the first part of your love story. Before continuing with his explanation, Jinwoo chugs the rest of his soda and holds up a finger, flagging down a waiter to order another glass of Coke. 

“Alright, now where was I?” He releases a tiny burp as he continues his journey of stating the facts of your relationship, making Myungjun protest and whine. 

Then, your dork of a boyfriend leans towards you, his lips hovering over your ear. 

“Why did I let him tag along with us again?” 

“Because you two are tighter than a clam’s ass. That’s how close you two are to one another. It’s quite freaky at times.” 

Myungjun, being his dramatic self, gawked, stumbling over his words, 

“W-what? Name one-time that JinJin was with us.” 

“Last night.”

Suddenly, Myungjun’s face becomes blank. Checkmate. 

“And another thing! I wasn’t even the one who convinced you to go out that evening! It was Eunwoo!” 

Knock is copyright 2021 by jinterlude, all rights reserved.

[poutybinz]

We got the fluff, we got the smut, now let's get the ANGST 🙂🙂 how will the boys react to their s/o dumping them hahahaha sorry I live for angst

me too lowkey muahaha

yeonjun

“break up? what do you mean break up?”

you would literally see the joy drain from his face like

his entire world just came crashing down around him and all he wants to know is why

and even if you give him an answer, it’s not gonna make any sense to him

nothings gonna make sense, why can’t you both just work it out?

he’s frustrated and devastated and he doesn’t know who to blame and how to process this

what hurts the most about yeonjun is that he’s definitely the type to hug you and not let go in this situation

yeonjun’s lowkey toxic trait is thinking that sex can fix everything (post breakup sex is definitely a thing and it’s painful)

he attaches to you, he’s kissing at your neck and you have to push him away because that’s the last thing either of you need

but he just clings to you, hugging you tightly with his head buried in the crook of your neck

and that’s when he starts crying, when the realization that it’s really over starts to hit

he wants to kiss you, he wants to hug you

he wants you to tell him this is some stupid joke so he can order food and you can have your movie nights like you always do

the denial stage lasts really long tho, there are some days he wakes up and forgets that you’re broken up and he calls you

and when you either don’t answer or you answer and you have to remind him it’s that same heartbreak all over again

he really cannot let you go, no matter how hard he tries he just can’t

soobin

one half of the crybabies

bc he will cry and he will cry a lot

first, it’s shock. he’s stunned, and then he’s confused.

then when you explain yourself he’s filled with overwhelming disappointment because he didn’t do right by you

maybe he got comfortable and didn’t think about it enough

but the simple fact that you feel like you aren’t loved, that you aren’t the center of his universe is enough to break him completely

he doesn’t blame you at all, he blames himself and that hurts you because you don’t want him to think he wasn’t an amazing boyfriend

sometimes things just don’t work out the way you want them to

it’s a little toxic but he hates himself dearly for letting you go. for not loving you the way he should have. he hates himself a lot

thing is though, soobin wont argue with you.

as much as he loves you and he doesn’t want you to leave him, if you feel unhappy he’s not gonna keep you

so there would be a moment where maybe he’d ask for one last hug and kiss

and in that moment in each other’s embrace, both of you would burst into tears

and all soobin can do is whisper “i love you” over and over again because of course he does

he always will, no matter what

beomgyu

similar to yeonjun, there’s a lot of disbelief

“what are you talking about? you’re joking, right?”

he kind of skips over the sadness bit (or at least it comes later) and he goes straight into anger

he’s so devastated and so heartbroken he just lashes out

“why did you tell me all those things if they weren’t true?! why would you lie to me for all of this time if you were going to leave?!”

he’s irrational at this point and no matter how many times you try to explain that you hadn’t had some sort of plan to get him attached to you and then leave

and that sometimes things just don’t work out

it’s going through one ear and out the other, he might even start throwing things and it might turn into an argument

but once all of the anger wears off he’s left with sadness

he just plops onto the floor or the couch or wherever and he just cries and cries

he doesn’t at first but he lets you come sit and cry with him

you have a moment where you can talk things out, you can try to explain to him where you’re coming from

and that you’ll always have love for him

he understands but that doesn’t mean he isn’t still gonna miss you

he hates watching you leave though he’s trying to be strong but it just hurts too much

taehyun

the worst thing about this would be the complete lack of emotion

because if there’s anything taehyun’s good at, it’s composing himself. he can put on a front if he really wants to.

so when you say “i think we should break up”, he doesn’t respond at all

he just stares blankly at you, but even then you can tell he’s panicking. you can almost see the spurs turning in his head

but instead he just stares at you and nods slowly. he doesn’t ask questions, he doesn’t push the subject any further.

but he’s hurting inside. he’s screaming and he’s begging, his hands are balled into fists and he’s very clearly holding back a lot

and you know him so you call him out on it, you’re trying to get him to open up because you don’t wanna end this on bad terms

he just shakes his head, though. likely to walk away from you completely because he’s not gonna cry in front of you.

mumbles a small “thank you for everything” before leaving

and he’s a pure wreck for days, nearly weeks after

of everyone he’s the quickest to delete your phone contact (to rip the bandaid off) but on his worst nights he cries himself to sleep watching videos of you two that he can’t stir up the courage to delete

hueningkai

the second member of the crybaby team

so no this is gonna suck a lot

because you’ve damn near never seen hyuka upset in any way. his two emotions are :D and :) he’s always a bundle of joy

so when you break the news to him, similar to yeonjun, you see his whole world collapse in his eyes

his eyes start watering and his lip starts quivering

“what did i do wrong? can i try to fix it?”

what hurts the most about hyuka is that he’s really gonna try anything and everything to get you to stay with him

he’s offering up everything, he’s swearing he’ll give you the moon and stars if that’s what you want

and when none of that works, he’s practically sobbing and he’s still begging

and seeing him like that with big fat tears streaming down his face pleading for you, its too much

young love is a son of a bitch :/

he pretty much never comes to terms with it, no matter how hard you try to explain it to him.

you give him one final hug and god he clings to you for dear life

“please don’t go, i’m sorry. i can fix it.”

there’s no easy way to leave the dorms so you have to just untangle yourself from him and go and the poor boy just wails for you

of all of them he struggles the hardest with this. still has you saved as “love of my life 💗🌈✨” in his phone, refuses to get rid of any the pictures you took together

occasionally still texts you whenever soemthing big happens in his life to tell you he’s thinking of you :(

texted you when they won their first big award and it was a bittersweet feeling when you responded with “congratulations, huening” instead of the usual slew of pet names you gave him

yeah he’s still hurting

[stan-joonies]

Leave Me Like Everyone Else, It's Not Like I Believed You'd Stay

Y/n laughed when she spotted Rosalie in a tree, her face obscurred by leaves.

"I can see you, Rose." She giggled, standing near the tree.

Rosalie cleared her throat unnecessarily before jumping down, the crack of twigs and leaves filling the silence.

Y/n raised an eyebrow as Rose ignored her in favour of staring at her hands.

"Rose?" Y/n's smile dropped. "Are you ok?"

[[MORE]]

Said blonde shook her head, breathing before looking at the human. The human. Not just a human. The human.

The human that changed it all in the best way possible.

The human that made Emmett do that amazing belly laugh and Rosalie to giggle.

The human who unknowingly fell in love with two monsters, and stayed when she found out the truth.

The human who made two happy vampires even happier.

The human who's heart Rosalie had to break.

The vampire steeled herself, her lips pressed thinly and her shoulders squaring.

"This isn't working." Just those words made Rosalie feel like her insides were aflame. Hands digging their way out of the ground and clawing at her feet, pulling her underground.

Y/n felt like the breath had escaped her, eyes widening.

"What? Rose...What's going on?"

Rosalie gently shook of her hand, closing her eyes and grimacing.

"Me and Emmett thought we were missing something, so we experimented. We thought you were the one we needed but we were wrong. Me and Emmett..." Rosalie felt hands of air trying to choke her. "Are better on our own."

Rosalie wanted to cry in that moment as Y/N's eyes glossed over, lines appearing on her forehead.

"This is a joke right...?"

Rosalie could only shake her head, watching as Y/N broke down, her heart slowly being ripped apart.

Rosalie took a careful step forward, reaching a pale hand to touch her, gasping when Y/N slapped it away.

"Don't touch me!" She exclaimed, h/c brows scrunching up. "You don't get to do that!"

"Y/n..."

"No!" She shouted furiously. "Where's Emmett? He couldn't bother to be here too? I'm not worth the two second trip, am i?" Y/n snarled, crossing her arms over her chest as if trying to shield her fragile heart from more damage. "To think i was this stupid."

"Y/n...you're not..."

Y/n ignored her, rolling her eyes.

"Ever since we got into this relationship. In the back of my mind it was always 'Emmett and Rosalie'. You were always there! My thoughts couldn't escape! Where's Rosalie and Emmett today? Are Rosalie and Emmett having fun? Are Rosalie and Emmett happy today." She let out a sob. "Then i found out...that you weren't what i thought you were. The thoughts got so much worse, so much more negative. Rosalie and Emmett are immortal...will they be there even when I'm old? How would Rosalie and Emmett feel once i die? How can i be equal to Rosalie and Emmett if i die soon. Can Rosalie and Emmett love me equally even if they have hundreds of years together against my fifty? You never left. Those thoughts consumed me. The doubts and thoughts became my daily. But i had the both of you, when you invited me over and we'd snuggle on the couch with Emmett at our feet and we'd watch him play video games, giving him praise when he won. When he was done he'd lift us both and carry us to his room where we'd all hug eachother close. I'd be wearing three jumpers because you both would make me feel freezing. Those moments made doubts go away, if only for a day."

"Y/N," Rosalie encased her in a hug, wincing when, instead of melting into it, she freezes. "You a--were everything. We love you so much. There was no need for those doubts. We love you like you love us and we love eachother."

"But that's still not enough to stay," Rosalie tensed, eyes widening. She didn't even move when y/n broke out of her lax hold.

"I need to find Bella," she quickly turned, running out of the forest and away from Rosalie.

Once she was far away, Emmett jumped down from the trees, quickly taking Rosalie into his arms.

"Why couldn't you be here with me," Rosalie muttered, digging her head into his chest.

Emmett closed his eyes, feeling his heart throb and a familiar emptiness consume him.

"Cause I'd run after her..."

-

Y/N was doing better. When she found out the Cullens had skipped town she was heartbroken, a hollowness consuming her for months on end.

Then, University arrived. A chance to leave the little town of Forks and escape the bad omens lurking in the darkness.

She smiled when she got her acceptance letter. It was far away yet still only a five hour car ride. Bella tearfully told her to come see her once a month, Y/N just as tearfully agreed while hugging the girl's oxygen away.

Y/N remembered driving away, her family waving her off and a sense of lightness came about her. She wasn't healing or living. But she was surviving.

-

With her stomach full, Y/N made her way out of the cheap restaurant and down the dark road. It was swallowed in shadows, rain pouring down and clanging against bins.

Shaking off a sudden chill, she continued walking, her boots clicking against stone.

From her right, a bin tipped over, clashing against the floor and echoing around her. She wanted to stop, see what had caused it.

But Rosalie taught her better.

"No matter what happens, keep moving."

Her voice echoed hauntingly in her head and she followed it, her steps quickening slightly when another bin fell up ahead. Then another. And another.

It was like a horrible, screeching banshee echoeing around her. Her heart was drumming against her ribs cage and her vision became blurry when she forgot to breath.

So when hands slithered around her waist like snakes and pulled her into the darkness, she couldn't scream...

-

When Y/N woke in the barn, seeing Victoria smiling down at her, she jolted up and accidentally smasher a hole into the barn. That earned her being ripped apart and left to slowly reassemble. After that, Y/N chose to brood in silence, actively thinking about her human life and grasping onto them. They were the only things she had now.

When a shirt Y/N recognised was passed around, she hid in shadows, resisting the temptation to snatch it and smell it herself.

That clothing was Bella's. The same Bella who changed her life and now it was the Bella who smelt so sweet to Y/N that she wanted her.

Then, after a month, she met Bree Tanner. A small girl who built up her own resistance, something Y/N admired.

They spoke about their lives before, everyday they became closer, to the point of being sisters.

When Victoria released them, making the mindless newborns follow her by scrunching up a piece of Bella's clothing in her hands, their resistance was put to the test.

They stayed up on trees, far away from Bella.

Y/N watched as her family defeated the monsters, ripping off their heads and throwing them into a fire. But the newborns were vicious, biting and scraping at tough skin.

When Y/N caught sight of Emmett and Rosalie, it felt like a rusty wrench sunk into her heart.

She wanted to go to them, fight with them, but Bree held her back.

"They'll mistake you for the enemy." She informed, making Y/N rethink her options.

When they were all destroyed, a wolf taken away, they jumped from the trees, announcing their presence.

From down here, Bella's scent was much more potent and strong, but Y/N's resolve was stronger.

"No..." she heard someone cry. Y/N looked up, her eyes connecting to Bella's teary ones. "Y/N...what happened."

The vampire looked down in shame, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Victoria caught me, wasn't intentional, but she was ecstatic when she did," she huffed.

Their eyes travelled to her body, where all her scars showed. One thick one on her neck where they ripped her head off. Two on her arms. Two on her legs. Multiple on her stomach...

"This is Bree Tanner," she introduced. "She's my friend."

She tried with all her might to not look at Rosalie and Emmett, who, in comparison, desperately tried to catch her eye.

Then, figures emerged from the forest in billowy black cloaks that masked their faces from view.

"You missed a couple," Jane stated, eyes trained onto Bree and Y/N.

Rosalie snarled angrily, stepping between her and Jane.

"They're with us,"

Y/N sighed, pulling Rosalie back and looking into her eyes.

The world tilted, her dead heart hammering against her chest. Rosalie was even more beautiful then she remembered. Her golden strands of hair framed her face like an antique painting, her porcelain skin glowed from the faint sunlight that peeked through the clouds. Her eyes were black and cold yet they invited Y/N in, almost begging her to come closer and look into them more.

The dam had broke and her eyes immediately searched for Emmett's, who sped to her side and grabbed her by the waist. He was larger it seemed, muscles more defined and his cheekbones higher. His eyes were dark and dangerous but inviting too. His dark hair in contrast to his pale skin created a beautiful painting of a fallen angel. She felt warmth spread through her and caress her slowly mending heart.

Everything was misplaced. Her feelings clashing with her brain and her senses becoming completely overloaded. Memories swarmed her, pushing others out of the way.

The feeling of being disconnected from reality felt freeing yet absolutely terrifying.

But Emmett and Rosalie hugged her, and their bodies were no longer cold to her.

In those arms, the same that had comforted her, the same that had loved her, the same ones thst had broke her, she knew things would happen. Good or bad, she didn't know. But things were coming her way, and she'd be damned if she faced it alone.

Her resolve melting, her arms, with no lack of struggle, snuggled into them both.

For a couple of seconds she could forget the outside world. Just for a couple of seconds.

A white field, burning, suffering. Screams rising into the cool air.

Emmett screaming, Rosalie crying.

A s/c head rolling on the ground, imprinting the snow.

Alice gasped, shaking out of her vision, her eyes going to the three vampires cocooning themselves from the world.

Alice felt sympathy rise up into her chest.

There was only one future...and it didn't see them all in it.

[chilling-seavey]

Heartbreak Hotel (d.s.) - Chapter Twenty-Two

A/N The song for this chapter is Don’t by Elvis but Stay by Why Don’t We also hit different for this chapter

Daniel didn’t see Loretta for three days. She didn’t show up to the diner and never came past the car shop either. Corbyn still showed up for work but Daniel would be damned it he asked Corbyn about her whereabouts; especially when Corbyn would glare daggers at him every time they so much as looked in each others general direction. Daniel tried to ask Christian if Corbyn had said anything to him but apparently all Corbyn had said was that Loretta was ‘busy’.

That only made Daniel more anxious. Should he call her to check in? Drop by her house even? He didn’t know what he should do or what was considered crossing a line or what was not doing enough.

He just didn’t know where they stood.

After work on the fourth day after the concert with radio silence on Loretta’s end, Daniel decided to head down to the beach. He had gotten off early and expected Zach and Jack to be there too, hopefully to take his mind of everything he was stewing over. Sure enough, his friends were in their usual spot on the sand, just coming in from a surf and both soaked in sea water. Daniel was still in his work uniform with his bag over one shoulder housing his swimsuit.

“Hey.” Jack called out breathlessly, holding his hand out to share a secret handshake with his best friend and Zach did the same.

“Hey. How’s the water?” Daniel asked, dropping his dry surfboard on the sand next to their things.

“Pretty good today. You coming out?” Jack asked, pushing his wet hair back from his face.

“Yeah. I’m just going to change and I’ll be back.”

Zach called after him as he walked away, “Hurry! It’s almost sundown!”

Daniel shifted into a bit of a jog across the sand towards the beach washrooms, his backpack still slung over one shoulder and he pulled it around his side to reach into it and fish around for his swimsuit as he turned the corner towards the men’s room.

It was straight out of some cheesy movie; literally running right into Loretta as he turned the corner around the side of the washroom building and they both gasped in surprise before even processing who was standing in front of them.

“Lori.” Daniel breathed, as if he was completely in disbelief.

Loretta opened her mouth to say something but she shut it and simply offered him a tight smile. She was wearing a yellow polka dot bathing suit with a white towel draped over her shoulder and her brown hair was still curled just as perfectly over her shoulders.

“I-I’ve been wondering where you’ve been.” Daniel said gently, keeping his eyes on her while she stared at the boardwalk below their bare feet. “You haven’t been into the diner recently or the shop. Where have you been?”

Loretta nearly winced at his words and she looked out over the beach.

“Lori.” Daniel said softly, trying to reach for her but she stepped back from him, raising her hands away.

“I’m sorry. I can’t.” she mumbled and started to walk past him.

“Hey, hey.” Daniel side stepped her to cut her off. “Talk to me. We left things a little heavy and we should figure that out.”

Loretta kept her head down; not even daring to look at him.

“Loretta.” Daniel said seriously. “What’s going on?”

She scoffed lightly as if what she was about to say didn’t matter much, “Corbyn doesn’t want me to be around you anymore.”

Daniel’s heart sank but his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “But that’s…that’s ridiculous. Did you tell him about-”

“No.” Loretta cut him off. “I’m not going to.”

“Wha-” Daniel stepped in front of her when she tried to walk around him again. “That’s not…that’s not fair.”

“I can’t talk to you, Daniel, and we can’t see each other anymore. Please don’t make this difficult.” Loretta mumbled.

“Bullshit.” Daniel snapped, the seriousness in his voice taking her – and even himself – by surprise.

She took a strong inhale and looked him in the eyes, “Corbyn is my boyfriend and I love him and that’s how it’s going to be. If he doesn’t want me to see you, then I need to respect that.”

“He can’t tell you what to do.”

“Yes, he can.” Loretta said softly.

She tried to step past him, but he cut her off again.

“Daniel.” she huffed.

“Break up with him.” Daniel said sternly.

“You have no right to tell me what I can or cannot do.” Loretta snapped, glaring angrily at him.

“But he does?” Daniel argued.

“He is my boyfriend.”

“And I am your soulmate!”

Loretta bowed her head through a small scoff and crossed her arms over her chest. She still wore his ring on the chain around her neck and it rose and fell with her heavy breathing, glinting in the bright sunlight. Daniel was starting to panic and his work uniform started to feel suffocating and not just because the later afternoon sun was beating down on them. He tugged at the collar for a moment before pushing his hand through his hair anxiously. Daniel bit his lip, waiting for her to change her mind. They were both silent for a few too many seconds.

“Lori-”

He was cut off by her friends calling her from farther down the beach, “Loretta! Come on, girl!”

She glanced over at them and then back at Daniel, “Just…stay away from me, please.”

He couldn’t get another word out before she was rushing off over the sand towards her friends and out of sight. Daniel didn’t even move for a moment, truly feeling like she had just jammed a dagger into his chest and twisted the blade. He stumbled back on the boardwalk a step and his bottom lip trembled, his head bowing as he scrunched his eyes closed and tried to take a stable inhale to compose himself.

Daniel stumbled his way back over the sand to his friends, a disbelieving haze on his mind; so much so that he didn’t even process Jack and Zach asking if he was okay. He simply gathered his board and his bag and tossed them a haphazard apology and a goodbye before heading back towards his car.

After four days of nearly love-drunk bliss from their amazing night out, Daniel felt like he had hit a brick wall. He drove home in perfect silence, not even turning on the radio. His feet carried him up the front steps of his house and inside and he kicked his sandy shoes off at the front door.

“Daniel! Look who’s here!” his mother called from the living room.

Daniel trudged down the hallway to find his eldest brother and his girlfriend sitting on the couch with the rest of the family around them. He could barely manage a half smile in greeting.

“Tyler finally proposed!” Anna gushed, grabbing Wendy’s wrist to show off her new ring to the youngest brother. Daniel’s jaw clenched.

“Come join us, son.” his father said.

“I don’t feel well so I think I’m going to turn in early.” Daniel mumbled. “Sorry.”

He didn’t wait for their replies before he was turning out of the living room and heading upstairs, unbuttoning his coveralls as he went. Daniel closed his bedroom door behind him and dropped his bag beside his desk before sitting on the side of his bed with his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. His heart literally ached in his chest to the point where it felt like he was going to be sick and the flavour of strawberry milkshakes that surfaced on his tongue only pushed him over the edge to let out a small sob into his hands.

He had his dream in the palm of his hand and he just couldn’t stop her from slipping right through his fingers.

His entire family was downstairs, but Daniel cried all alone in his room, his coveralls only unbuttoned to his waist to leave him in his white undershirt with the grey fabric pooled around his stomach. His fingers slid into the front of his hair and he tugged at the gelled back strands to try and distract the pain in his heart somewhere else.

The knock at his bedroom door startled him and he took in a loud shaky gasp in surprise. He wiped his cheeks and his eyes before answering with a strong, “Yeah.”

Both his older brothers stood in the doorway to his bedroom, staring at him with mirrored concerned expressions. They didn’t even have to say anything before Daniel’s bottom lip was trembling and his face scrunched up in pain and he burst into tears again. Christian came inside first and Tyler closed the door behind them and the older brothers sat on either side of their youngest brother and put their arms around his back.

Daniel curled right against Christian’s shoulder and cried into his shirt unashamedly; always the most sensitive of the three of them.

“What’s going on, Dani boy?” Tyler asked, rubbing his hand over Daniel’s back.

“I found her but…but she doesn’t want me.” Daniel sobbed.

“You found your soulmate?” Tyler gaped.

Daniel nodded, clinging on tighter to Christian. It was as if his heartbroken little brother melted the slight edge that Christian had built up over the previous year and he welcomed him into his arms gladly, more than happy to be his comfort once again.

“Who is she?” Christian asked softly.

“Loretta!” Daniel cried. “She t-told me and…but…but she doesn’t want me!”

“How can she not want you?” Tyler frowned.

Christian sighed deeply, “Because she already has a boyfriend.”

“He’s not even her soulmate! What am I supposed to do?” Daniel asked loudly, sitting up to look between his brothers. “I’m gonna be all alone my whole life knowing that she’s out there and not wanting to be anywhere near me!”

“She’ll come around.” Tyler assured him lightly. “You’re the perfect catch for any lucky bird and she’ll have to see it…if the universe doesn’t force her to.”

Daniel stuck his fingers in his mouth through his wracking sobs, trying to somehow scratch the taste of strawberry milkshakes off his tongue.

“Stop that; you’re gonna hurt yourself.” Tyler whispered, pulling his hand back.

“I don’t want to be like this anymore!” Daniel cried.

“Okay…okay. Hang tight.” Christian got up from the side of the bed to rush into the bathroom across the hall and poured a glass of water before returning and holding it out to Daniel. “Drink.”

Daniel, with shaking hands, took the glass and sipped the lukewarm water from it to try and wash down the waves of strawberry milkshake flavour that grazed his tongue, supported and cradled by his big brothers’ arms around his back. 

Christian sighed softly and pet Daniel’s hair back from his face and pulled him close again so his head was tucked under his chin. Christian and Tyler glanced at each other over their little brother’s head and exchanged flat glances. Daniel had been dreaming about finding his soulmate for years – his whole life nearly – and they knew it well; if only they could fix all his problems to give him that happiness he so craved and so deserved. 

[kookiebunnii]

d4u || fix his broken heart

mar. 2018. i realized today that i can’t always make jungkook happy. he has his own struggles too, and perhaps as a friend i can only ever stay beside him when he’s heartbroken. yet, i’m unsatisfied with that realization. i wish i could do more for him. 

pairing: bestfriend!jungkook x reader

genre: angst

word count: 1.7k

warnings: mayhaps you use a bad word  👀

The first time you realized you loved him was also the first time you ever saw him cry.

Jungkook liked to be your resident tough guy. He always forced you to watch horror movies with him late at night simply because he liked remaining unperturbed as you shook in terror, him laughing whenever you covered your eyes in anticipation for the jumpscare as soon as the music cuts out. You knew well enough after years of this torture that dolls, children, and cheap housing signaled big demon energy. However, despite sitting through more horror flicks than the average person, you still keep your lamp light on for a good three nights afterwards—just in case. Jungkook loved teasing you with this information, but you were more concerned about the possibility that your best friend-turned-roommate was a demon himself. How else would he be able to watch nightmarish Annabelle movies without even flinching?

As hard-working and aspiring as he is, he also never breaks down when he misses a goal he’s set for himself. You’ve seen him shattered for underperforming in a class he was confident in, angry for not winning an important game on the university’s competitive e-sports team, and even depressed for a whole week after the audio file for one of his song covers vanished.

Not once did he shed tears.

Imagine your surprise then, when you find him sitting on the couch one afternoon with red-rimmed eyes and two empty beer cans on the table.

You don’t say anything at first. Gritting your teeth in anticipation of the unknown, you head into your room as if it were a regular day, hanging your tote bag on a hook near the door. Robotically, you wash your hands and tie up your hair in the bathroom. When you finish, you head back out to the living room again to confront him.

When you pick up the half-empty can hanging lifelessly in his hand, he doesn’t even look at you. Even when you chug down the remaining drink and chuck it in the recycling bin, he doesn’t acknowledge you. It’s only when you sit by his side, leaning your head against his shoulder to join him in staring at the wall, do the first words fall from his lips.

“Aren’t you going to ask me what happened?”

You press your tongue to the roof of your mouth, considering the light taste of beer that lingers there. Beer wasn’t your thing, but you had to stop him from drinking so much.

“No. You’ll tell me when you’re ready,” you admit, pressing your cheek deeper into his oddly comfortable shoulder-- a given due to how diligently he works out recently. You can’t remember the last time you were this close to him, with the smell of his detergent so tantalizingly perceptible. It’s familiar in the way that you recognize it immediately as him, but foreign in that it’s rarely this upfront against your senses. He’s radiantly warm, but his frame is shaking as he tries to hold in his cold sadness.

With a shaky breath, he fiddles with the zipper of his windbreaker for a few seconds before choking, “Yuna’s been cheating on me.”

Eyes wide, the words catch in your throat. It almost feels as if your heart has fallen to the pit of your stomach at his confession. Cycling through confusion, anger, and hurt, all you can do is swallow thickly to counter the tightness growing in your throat. You wanted to cry, yet you felt selfish for wanting to do so. The pain you felt probably paled in comparison to what Jungkook’s experiencing. You knew that she was his first love, and when the kid loved he loved.  

A cold laugh expels out of your mouth in response to the absurdity of it all, and suddenly everything made sense. Of course the only way such a happy-go-lucky boy can be reduced to a tearful shell of himself is from the inside—from someone he trusted who ruined him. You think you hate Yuna, but you hate yourself more for being unable to do anything for him.

“Guk, that’s her fucking loss then.”

The words fall from your lips, heavy and full of spite. They taste bitter, and suddenly you wish you hadn’t finished that beer. Everything felt so wrong, the boy who deserved the world had his heart trampled on and you were stuck as the girl who couldn’t mend it for him. When he finally lets the dam break and begins crying again, the small sobs that wrack his chest almost splinter you in two. He tries to hide his face from you, and you instinctively reach out towards him. You hold him around his waist as he cries, your face buried in his left shoulder. Unwilling to speak further, you do the only thing you know how to. You wait for him.

It’s late in the evening when Jungkook finally talks to you again. He seems exhausted, his cheek pressing against the top of your head in defeat. With your chin perched on his shoulder, you bite your lip in contemplation. Plans form in your head, but you don’t ask for Jungkook’s input on them. You needed Yuna to know how disgustingly vile she was for choosing this avenue instead of simply ending things with him, because you were sure as hell Jungkook didn’t make it clear for her.

“Y/N?” his soft inquiry breaks you out of your thoughts.

Doing a little drumroll on his thigh with your pointer fingers, you hum in response, “Yeah?”

“Do you think she loved me?”

The question catches you off-guard. Yuna had been his first girlfriend, and he spent a lot more time away from the apartment after meeting her. You still saw him frequently enough, and from your experiences with her she genuinely appeared to enjoy Jungkook’s company. She did occasionally give him a hard time for living with you, but other than that the two of you respected the other as important figures of Jungkook’s life.

“She did. She loved you,” you admitted. Perhaps her love paled in comparison to the natural, compassionate affection he gave her, but you knew well-enough that anyone could tell the two had shared a mutual affinity for the other. You wonder if your answer was the one he wanted.

He seems to mull over this idea, his fingers wearing at a loose thread on the rips of his jeans. As he does this, you brush some of his hair away from his forehead. A few strands were stuck to his forehead dejectedly. His eyes are puffy with the amount of crying he’d done today and it takes you an extraordinary amount of willpower not to find Yuna and give her a piece of your mind then and there.

“I’m not okay,” he admits, and you can’t help but lift up his face to look at you directly.

“You don’t have to be.”

That night, he doesn’t want to sleep alone. He tugs at your wrist with an unspoken question and you knew you would stay with him until he could fall asleep. That was the type of relationship you held with him, knowing what the other needed before having to ask.

As you tuck him in bed, you turn off the lights except for a single desk lamp near his computer on the lowest brightness setting. You open the textbook for your Introduction to Marketing class and begin to read the latest chapter. Occasionally, you glance over at Jungkook to see how he’s faring. Thirty minutes pass and he’s still staring at the same spot on the ceiling.

“Can’t sleep?” you set your book down and ease off his gaming chair. Doing a few stretches as you approach the side of his bed, you plop down on the corner of the mattress and pinch his nose.

He grabs your hand off his nose and pulls you closer to him. Surprised but not uncomfortable, you let him guide your arm across his chest in an awkward half-hug. A dejected sigh comes from the poor boy, and you change your position to hold him better. You’re still laying atop his blankets, but you lie on your side and begin running your fingers through the locks of hair closest to you. He finally closes his eyes at your touch, and you wish you could smooth out the frowning corners of his lips.

Maybe the two of you were never actively aware of it, or even considered telling the other you loved them, but in that moment the words blossomed across your tongue. You wanted him to know that you loved him after all these years of watching him grow from a mischievous boy to a responsible man. You wanted him to know that it wasn’t his fault—that he couldn’t have done anything different to change the outcome. You wanted him to know that he deserved so much more than this.

You couldn’t say it though. Why couldn’t you say it?

In the midst of your thoughts, you fingers had stopped their ministrations in his hair. Jungkook takes note of this and turns to look you in the eyes. His cheeks are splotchy, the rims of his overworked eyes swollen from the abuse they’ve endured today. Even then, you couldn’t say those words.

“Thank you Y/N,” he gives you a smile he can barely muster, and you know he’s doing it to cheer you up.

You close your own eyes so you don’t have to look at his face any longer. It made you feel utterly useless and weak with swirling emotions you couldn’t pinpoint. It confused you and you hated feeling out of control.

If he kept caring for you, even while he suffered, you felt like you would say something…do something you shouldn’t.

You slip your hand under the blankets to grab his. When he gives your hand a squeeze, you know he believes that you’re doing this to comfort him. Instead, you know that you’re being selfish, holding onto him to ground yourself from doing something you couldn’t be responsible for.

Damn, you really are a fool.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

<< previous || masterlist || next >>

[my-darling-boy]

im wondering if you think that edward brittain and geoffrey thurlow were lovers. because i know the movie implied that perhaps there was something more there, bu from reading the book as well as 'letters from a lost generation' i didnt get that impression. just wondering your thoughts!

Right okay I’m about to InfoDumpᵀᴹ because the love Geoffrey and Edward had is one of the main things that got me into learning about WWI years ago!!! So allow me to shed some light on these boys specifically!

So firstly, Geoffrey Thurlow was inserted swiftly into Edward Brittain’s life and the two got on INSTANTLY in early 1915 after Edward was commissioned to the Sherwood Foresters. For a long time, Victor Richardson had been Edward’s trusted friend, as of course they knew each other from their Uppingham days, but it’s apparent in Testament of Youth, Letters From a Lost Generation, and the other works by the family’s historian Mark Bostridge, that Geoffrey and Edward became VERY close VERY fast. And while it could be written off as a friendship..... there is a lot of evidence that, even ignoring my own conjectures, is hard to dispute the fact that their relationship was more than friendship, even if it never became sexual or explicitly physical.

On top of the two becoming quickly inseparable, they also frequented expression of their desire to be with one another while the other was away, Thurlow often sending Edward very affectionate and borderline romantic letters and postcards on a whim, even sending him one rather Cryptic postcard on Valentine’s Day one year. The two insisted on doing many activities together, and many found them a perfect fit, Geoffrey a rather dreamy, expressive, and emotional young man, while Edward was practically the opposite; it’s suggested that they adored each other so much due to their personalities complimenting the other’s quite well: Edward was able to provide Geoffrey with reassurance and That Officerly Gay Protectiveness, while Geoffrey’s understanding and soft demeanor provided an open window for Edward to share his insecurities when he couldn’t show them to the other men. And while it could be said that Edward was more hesitant to be with Geoffrey in such a manner, even if Geoffrey felt no personal conflict, the two wanted to be very, very personal.

Both boys stayed connected regularly, no matter where they were, through intimate correspondence. As I mentioned, a good majority of their letters involve either one of them, but specially Geoffrey, longing poetically to be out in nature with the other or wishing they were together, but not at present, not wanting the other to be in harm’s way. A lot of Geoffrey’s letters to Edward, as I’m sure you’ve noticed, are signed “Him that thou knowest thine” or just “thine”. Of course this means “yours” or “you who know that I am yours”. And while this sort of thing, at least in my latter wording, was not an uncommon expression between men at this time, it’s..... the first way it’s worded that surprises me. For lack of a more eloquent explanation, it’s Gay as Hell to be THAT poetic to your new soldier friend, even for 1910s standards. One might ask why he simply wouldn’t just write “yours” instead of adding the special style, and making the extra effort to imply “not only am I yours, but you know as well as I do that I’m yours”. One might even ask if it was to refer to a special meeting, or inside romantic reference, such as the way in which Roland and Vera signed their own letters to each other, “au revoir”. Literally one letter from Thurlow to Edward simply ends with “In Life, in Death, Yours”.

There were also several letters marked “private” sent to the Brittain residence from Geoffrey in the span between 1915 to 1916 when Geoffrey would have occasionally been on leave, and could write whatever he damned well pleased to Edward without fear of the military censors poking around. What makes this crucial evidence to support they were having homosexual correspondence is the fact that Vera burnt the private letters before she died to protect the boys’ wishes to keep them private, if not by Edward’s direct request for her to do so, something which by itself doesn’t seem so odd given the fact letters were burnt all the time for a number of reasons, but is especially compelling given the fact other evidence makes a strong case that they were together. What was contained in those letters is lost to history, but they shouldn’t be confused with the letters taken off the censors which later may have began the domino effect to Edward’s untimely death, as that was in 1918, over a year after the death of Geoffrey, and were about different homosexual matters with other ranks at the time.

Additionally: while Edward’s reaction to Geoffrey’s death is argued not to have been as strong as his response was to, say, Victor’s death, as support for the fact he didn’t actually care much for Thurlow, he wrote to Vera “I have been afraid for him for so long and yet now that he is gone it is so very hard—that prince among men with so fine an appreciation of all that was worth appreciating and so ideal a method of expression . . . Always a splendid friend with a splendid heart and a man who won’t be forgotten by you or me however long or short a time we may live. Dear child, there is no more to say; we have lost almost all there was to lose . . .” In my own mind, this letter is just the tip of the iceberg to how he felt. It’s clear that Geoffrey’s death had a greater toll on him in the long run, while Victor’s death seemed to affect him immediately. I can only assume this is due in part to Edward being so emotionally invested in Geoffrey versus Victor, and that Victor’s death evoked an immediate and present sadness, while Geoffrey’s was so difficult to handle, he couldn’t think but to react in a collected but sorrowful manner, one I feel was meant to conceal just how heartbroken he was, as though he was worried if he showed as much outward devastation as he showed for Victor, he feared one may speculate why he held so much sadness for Geoffrey...as though he was afraid people knew what was between them.

Geoffrey’s death seemed to CRUSH Edward, leading him down this path of dark despair and depression following his passing, and it lead to a lot of misdirected tension between he and his sister at times, and he subsequently turned far more reserved, uncommunicative, and apathetic than ever before. I’d even go so far as to say that Edward might have felt guilty about his own relations with Geoffrey after he died, possibly believing he could have done more to be closer with him, or felt guilt in having distanced himself from him in some way later in 1917. And after such events, he showed more distaste for the war, more lack of emotion towards his own life and its worth, and his letters often took a downhearted turn towards the end.

When he died, Geoffrey’s letter, the last one he sent to Edward in 1917, was found in his breast pocket, and I would assume this to be over his heart. It ends by saying “Till we meet again, Here or in the Hereafter,” and it’s speculated he carried this ever since the day Geoffrey died, and, most defintely, died with it close to his heart.

By my own conjecture, I say that Edward felt that he was both conscious of and without objection to his homosexuality, most likely because it was suggested in private schools at the time (take Evelyn Waugh’s comments on being interested in boys at boarding school as a phase that one grows out of) that it was a passing curiosity, and that such interests would diminish when one reached adulthood. I felt that he did romantically love Geoffrey, even if it never had the opportunity to become sexual or physically intimate. And because our own understanding of homosexuality did not exist at the time for him to have any model from which to reference comprehension of his own sexuality, I believe, that like most of his queer contemporaries, he had a rather ambiguous—near procrastinating—outlook on his own sexual orientation and relationship status, along with his view concerning his future life and possible wife.

The war created a near diversion from having to consider the possibility of being with a woman, and he could instead allow to let his homosexuality subconsciously flourish while being in the presence of so many men, and allow his romantic love for Geoffrey to remain raw and intimate without having to confront the implications such a future would hold for him socially, all due to the war being the only thing on his present mind. And furthermore, I firmly believe that Geoffrey held a deep admiration for him: he looked up to him as well as loved him. Though he was training to be a priest, he seems to express no distaste—rather the opposite, based on his letters to Edward—for flirtatious relations between men, and remains such a gentle and deeply poetic figure to Edward I have only seen reflected in that of homosexual bonds. In my opinion, being gay myself, and with having delved into scattered studies of male affection in earlier centuries, they were in love. It’s a story I so often encounter between men of their class in this era, specifically during the war.

I will also admit that, for some reason, from standing afar, the recollection by itself of what information is told to us about Edward and Geoffrey is rather.... timid...in some instances amid the background of Vera and Roland, of Malta and France. And the ones provided alone from most books are merely the “friendly” letters. The ones I’m sure we would really like to see were lost on Geoffrey’s side and burned on Edward’s side, and what others remain are held in private facilities and university archives, and only available in brief mentions online. However, looking closely, reading sections purely between the two boys, isolating only their letters, their language, and even digging further into works written from Mark Bostridge and other minor historians piecing together dots not having previously been connected, what love they shared feels warm and strong, if not simultaneously distant and foggy at times: such is the way the world remembers homosexuals unfortunately.

These boys never got the oppertunity to be with each other in the way we would like to see historic gay people, the way we swoon over the way Maurice and Clive or Alec were together in Maurice for instance. Geoffrey and Edward were in the middle of war, and there’s both so much poor documentation on homosexuals and so little chance in the chaos to a have a ditch-lectures-to-go-on-a-motorbike-ride-into-a-meadow relationship we expect to see, compared to other circumstances where it would obviate the way they felt about each other. But because of the war, it made it even harder to progress gay relationships due to combat, death, anxiety, and just a general lack of space and oppertunity to be with a man all the time without someone seeing.

I later discovered a while back this historian’s articles about the lives and intertwining of Edward and Geoffrey and they are packed with a brilliant compilation of sources and their own take on the relationship, which I was quite excited to have the pleasure of reading, for we share very similar viewpoints on the matter and even caught onto hints and details during our own reading of the sources no other readers seemed to talk about!

Edward’s || Geoffrey’s

What fragments which are left to us, if we understand just how forcibly hidden life had to be for these men, letters marked “private” and passing remarks of desiring to walk among trees with someone special speak of a louder and more profound story buried deep beneath them. It’s important to take into account that many of the known gay relationships we have record of today are not as well documented as Oscar Wilde. Sometimes, the only record we have of their love lost to time is held in the way it’s held here, in the signing of “Thine”.

I can only hope now that since they could not hold each other in life, that in death, they could finally be together.

Anyway, there’s my Novel, thanks for the ask!

[7wanderingpaws]

⭐️ I’m curious about about a “directors cut” for Let’s Have Some Gentle Fun and Captain Bucheon as well.

Jamie, not gonna lie but if I had to guess what youd be asking about, I would say these two! I feel like I owe you with the "Lets have some gentle fun" one shot since it was for you ㅠㅠ (this will be long, sorry)

Directors cut for: Lets Have Some Gentle Fun

(Can I just say I want to explore Jiyongs character in this one? lol totally unrelated but still... "Dragon" and his own adventures haha)

Baekhyun smiled at you kindly, his eyes following your movements the entire time despite having a beautiful chick sitting on his thighs. Gulp. Those thighs.

“Thank you,” he made sure to say, when you stood up to your full length. Shooting him a very pressed, almost painful smile, you nodded once, accidentally meeting his gaze that you thought was not on you any longer.

You were wrong. But were you wrong as well when you always felt electricity curse down your veins whenever you would look at each other? Was the attraction just from your side? Why was he so hard to approach yet so easy to talk to once you actually managed to spike up a conversation?

Right. Your friends always snatched him away. While he was the center of the circle, you were the edge; the misunderstood one yet always invited. Doing chatty-chats with the famous ones in the circle of your friends seemed to be hard because if they didn’t really vibe with you, they’d made sure you could feel it. Baekhyun not once did, yet his apologetic smiles whenever someone wanted to talk to him when he was about to start a conversation with you, hurt more than any of your other friends’ attitude.

Reciprocating his stare a little longer, you finally turned, thinking he would be paying attention to the pretty lady on his lap. Yet again, you were wrong. He was looking even when you were far gone and back to the bar to continue your shift.

Okay, stop here. This right here screams interest and Baekhyuns badly hidden attraction towards OC. He had been doing that in other scenes where he stares at her and says words that clearly mean his interest, but there is something holding him back which is his girlfriend; the one sitting on his lap, the one who will appear at the end of the storyline. Meanwhile, OC isnt as focused on his girlfriend, as she is on the reality of everyone stealing him away from her. Baekhyun can only offer apologetic smiles - why is that? OC can only interpret that as his disinterest; he isnt much different than the others. Baekhyun is being very vague again in the next scene:

“You have a man here?”

Both of you were quiet now. He was staring into your eyes, something so hard for you to decipher flashing in those deep orbs. His eyes seemed almost black, swallowing up every light that dared to enter including you.

“It’s what you all think about me, isn’t it?” you mumbled quietly. “That I bring men home, that I’m the quiet before the storm. I know that’s what you all say behind my back. I’m just living up to your knowledge.”

Baekhyun’s face became unreadable. His features evened out. “Way to ruin the mood.”

You laughed. “Whatever mood you’re talking about-“

Baekhyun made OC believe there was something happening between them in that moment. He is always unconsciously flirting with her, making baby steps to get to know OC better; it felt like he put the blame on her when in reality, he is the taken man and he is the one never offering more. And he had the audacity to act hurt at the idea of her having someone there?

He stepped closer, silencing you right away. “I know people are judgemental fucks but I would have always said otherwise about you.”

“Meaning?”

He gave you a lopsided smirk, not reaching his eyes. “I can hardly judge you when I know so little about you. I never believe those rumors and you shouldn’t give a damn either. If anything, you’re the most intriguing among our friends.”

He couldn’t tell, but breath hitched in your throat from the way his eyes were drinking you up, their intensity burning every sane thought you could produce. “Then why do you always yield to those friends? We had many chances to talk. But it wasn’t me who always turned around at the last moment.”

The tension was almost palpable when you were looking up at him.

He didn’t reply and you realized the headache you were gifted with today. Sighing tiredly, you smiled up. “Whatever. Don’t answer that. Go. I bet your girlfriend is waiting.” When he didn’t move, you snorted a laugh. “Why are you even baking at this hour? You’ll be late to work.”

Poor OC. Baekhyun was darn lucky she decided to speak up and not let him answer. He wouldnt be able to offer anything she would want to hear in that moment. I really liked these scenes because they set the diversity of Baekhyuns character, they set up the confusion, and at the same time they are enhancing OCs struggle with her crush towards him. She knows she cant have him, and she also thinks Baekyhun is just like her other friends, while she has no clue the man is attracted to her. Just for the funsies - we dont know whether he actually meant it, or whether he just wanted his desire to be satiated by her as a one night stand. I still love this plotline so much! And I think it is the most realistic kind of crush - from OCs side and from Baekhyuns side.

Directors cut: Captain Bucheon

“Then why would you do it if you don’t want to do it?” he asked, genuinely confused.

“Because I’m in the student council,” you replied almost in a whine. “They asked me and I couldn’t say no!” You threw your arms around, making it sound like a big deal. And for you, it was a big deal. You didn’t like how you were easily pushed around.

Baekhyun nodded, a small smile stretching his lips when he saw your comprehension. Sweet university life. “You must be very liked by everyone.”

You froze at that. That wasn’t true. How would you tell your ex the reason everyone was all over you was because you had huge tits and you were friends with Chul? “It’s not like that…”

Baekhyun nodded, noting your discomfort but deciding against questioning it. He didn’t think he was anywhere near the position to stick his nose into your business. For all he knew, he’d scare you away like that time in the bar but, frankly, he didn’t even utter a single word that night to give you a reason for your abrupt fleeing.

“So you run here often, huh,” he heard you say and then saw you shuffling your feet, the small stones of the track field rustling under them.

So much is happening here I want to CRY! The first question Baekyhun asked is something he would definitely ask her if they were dating. He cares about her so much, he needs to ask for her reasons. Yet, Captain Byun isnt the type to be too nosy; from Burn Your Bridges we saw he was a passionate lover but very mature and responsible which also shows in the part where he didnt question her about her discomfort when he sensed it. But he still cares too much. These scenes prove how tables turned; Lee Nari is the one who is harder to reach now, while Baekhyun seems to be losing his mind a little with having the young girl back in his life. It shows in this scene:

Baekhyun was fast. Before you realized the warmth of his hand leaving yours, you heard a loud snap, his fist landing with the dude’s face. You squealed, covering your mouth in shock and just like that, Baekhyun had professionally put the lad down, having both his arms locked behind his back. It vastly made you remember when he did a similar move with your brother in his office at the police station, and chills ran down your spine.

Right. Baekhyun first arrested you, and then your brother who was still in jail until now. Baekhyun lied to you to get closer to you. Right. Right, right, right.

“Don’t ever even imagine her in your filthy mind,” Baekhyun’s voice thundered through the space.

Baekhyun lost it. And this is also a huge trigger for the OC. If you read the story, you would learn that Baekhyun would never pull this move on just a random person he needs to protect as a cop. But we are talking about Lee Nari and he would sure as hell manhandle anyone who dared to talk about her badly. Even her brother.

Your palm landed on his cheek and Baekhyun’s face snapped to his right side. “I hate you!” You shouted shakily, more tears spilling down your cheeks, the snot out of your nose. You were a mess. “I hate everything you put me through, Byun Baekhyun! You lied to me! Why did you lie to me?! I loved you!” You shouted again, and squeezed your eyes shut.

(...)

Your palms were still, pressing against his sturdy chest but you couldn’t make him move anymore. You were crying now, your voice shaking and your eyes still squeezed shut. “What did I do to deserve this… when all I did was love you honestly, purely,” you wailed, your voice sounding almost like a wolf’s howl in the empty streets of the campus. “I was just seventeen…”

Baekhyun was quiet the whole time, emotions of guilt eating him away just like they had been for the past year. His own heart was in pain and he knew how hurt you were but seeing you like this made his heart split into two. You were a complete, utter mess.

Even I felt heartbroken as I wrote that, angst at its best!! Baekhyun could finally witness just how damaged the girl is. Nari needed this. Thank God Baekhyun provided her the chance to finally speak up. I just loved the slap that she gave him, I loved how passionate and aggressive she was - with all his previous kindness, she finally erupted like a volcano. I love how she became so tired of her emotions, so tired of hating on Baekhyun that eventually led her to be in his arms. That last sentence is just as heart-breaking; your lover realizing just how much they ruined you but they still hold you in their arms. Its a little ironic, isnt it? The delicious pain of enemies/lovers trope <3 God I love them!!

- ASK ME: Fanfic Writers: Directos Cut

[pabotofus]

gold rush + iwaoi

so several days ago i made a post (also copied below) about gold rush and iwaoi, specifically iwaizumi’s pov, and. since then i have had Many More Thoughts....

an expanded version of the tags on that original post:

'i don't like anticipatin' my face in a red flush' you're trying to tell me this ISN'T iwaizumi's mood when he spends time with oikawa?? he absolutely loves hanging out with him and it's something they've always done. they spend more time together than not. and YET. he hates that he knows he'll get flustered because of his feelings and oikawa doing dumb half flirty things. it’s EMBARRASSING getting all blushy especially when oikawa Absolutely Cannot Know about his feelings. but he's not going to NOT spend time with oikawa. firstly because oikawa would kick up the biggest fuss and secondly because again. he genuinely enjoys being with oikawa. so. he’s just gotta live like this now ://

also oikawa is CANONICALLY like. i dont want to say playboy. but he gets a lot of attention from girls. and iwaizumi is canonically both super aware and super tired of that. which........ 'everybody wants you/everybody wonders what it would be like to love you'...... THAT’S HIM... CANONICALLY..........

'i see me padding across your wooden floors/with my eagles t-shirt hanging from the door' the DOMESTICITY of this!!!! if the two of them ended up like. staying near each other for college. you KNOW this would happen. replace 'eagles' with university/v-league merch. im RIGHT. you KNOW IT. i would have liked to see it. *shakes fist at sky* furudate WHY

'At dinner parties I call you out on your contrarian shit' ok this is just their canon relationship iwaizumi also hard relates to this except it also happens outside of dinner

'My mind turns your life into folklore/I can't dare to dream about you anymore' THIS ISN'T TIMESKIP IWAOI???? YOU DARE TRY AND LOOK ME IN THE EYES AND TELL ME THAT ISN'T A TIMESKIP IWAIZUMI MOOD? SEEING HIS BEST FRIEND DO GREAT THINGS HALFWAY ACROSS THE WORLD. KNOWING OIKAWA'S IN A DIFFERENT ORBIT NOW. KNOWING WHATEVER HOPES HE HAD FOR THE TWO OF THEM ARE LIKE. CLOSE TO IMPOSSIBLE NOW. AND YES HES SO DAMN PROUD BUT GODS FORGIVE HIM IF HE'S JUST A LITTLE HEARTBROKEN, BECAUSE 'IT COULD/WILL NEVER BE'..! i have many a feelings about timeskip iwaoi, can you tell?

he FULLY resents all of this, by the way. he hates that it fits his situation so much. partly because he cant believe his life is a stereotypical crush song. partially because god d a m n did it have to call him out so strongly??? did it really????? unFAIR!!

and now for new thoughts.

“And the coastal town/We wandered round had never/Seen a love as pure as it/And then it fades into the gray of my day-old tea/'Cause it could never be”

miyagi is a coastal province.......... uc irvine is also pretty damn close to the coast...................................................... san juan not so much but shh. GOD. had never seen a love as pure as this!!!!!!!!! whether romantic or platonic their BOND.. it is just so Strong and like. literally everyone can see it. they were introdUCED as a pair by kageyama if i’m not mistaken. i need to rewatch hq hweklsdjfl for fun if not for anythign else

AND THEN IT FADES INTO THE GRAY OF MY DAY-OLD TEA ���CAUSE IT COULD NEVER BE ALWAYS HITS SO HARD. i cried about this earlier in conjunction with ‘i can’t dare to dream about you anymore’ but.... iwaizumi hajime (26), athletic trainer, waking up in the morning to get ready for work, making breakfast. wondering.. maybe, if things had turned out differently, would he have set out a second plate? wondering if there would finally be a use for that stupid coffeemaker oikawa bought him as a housewarming present, when the asshole knows he doesn’t even DRINK coffee??? he doesn’t know why he even keeps it anymore. might be put to better use with someone else. but then he dumps the tea leaves into the sink and leaves for work and Does Not Think About It Anymore.

in the reprise when it changes to “the coastal town we NEVER found”...... as of canon, they never did find a place where they could both settle.. together..... HMM

“I don’t like slow motion double vision in rose blush” i have this hc that iwaizumi... very much likes to have things in control. whether like, being on top of all his assignments, or emotionally. he likes being settled. he likes knowing what’s up. but nOW. with this stupid crush? love? whatever? his heart is pounding and he can’t stop looking at oikawa and the worst part is that he’s BLUSHING all the damn time?? absolutely TERRIBLE!!! terrible, i tell you!

also like. oikawa has a monopoly on his free time, his personal space, his physical belongings, and now on his goddamn FEELINGS too?????? this should be illegal.

“Eyes like sinking ships on/waters so inviting/I almost jump in” god knows that if Oikawa had asked, Iwaizumi might have actually followed him. and that’s all I have to say

based on a brief listen-through of evermore i feel like willow, dorothea, and tis the damn season might also be iwaoi songs....... i might do a dissection of those songs as well if there’s interest/if i get the vibes