#I’m sorry I’m having EMOTIONS and Feelings and I don’t like it

[thef1diary]

While It Lasts | L. Norris - 2

Summary: Lando expected nothing more than relaxation and fun for two weeks during his summer break. What he didn’t anticipate was meeting you, someone who felt like a perfect match in every way. As the days quickly passed, he found himself falling deeply for you, only to be confronted with the heart-wrenching reality that your time together was far more limited than he ever imagined.

Part 1

PLEASE READ: This story contains themes of loss, morality, fear, death, relationship strains, mental health struggles, including significant emotional impact related to the reader’s journey with a chronic illness and some scenes are set in hospitals. Reminder that this is simply a work of fiction, please don’t take it to heart.

wc: 16.5k

© thef1diary 2024. all rights reserved. Do not copy, steal, translate or repost any of my work.

You woke up to the faint clattering of dishes in the kitchen. Groggily, you opened your eyes, feeling the stiffness from sleeping awkwardly on the couch. Stretching, you realized Isaac was already up, making breakfast. 

“Isaac,” you called out, your voice hoarse from sleep. 

He didn’t seem to hear you, the noise of the kitchen drowning out your voice. With a sigh, you decided to hobble over to him, each step a reminder of your twisted ankle and the awkward position you’d slept in.

Reaching the kitchen, you leaned against the doorway for support. “Isaac,” you said a bit louder.

He turned, surprise and concern crossing his face. “You should be resting.”

“I know,” you replied, wincing slightly as you moved closer. “But we need to talk.”

Isaac set down the pan he was holding, his expression turning serious. “Alright, let’s talk.”

You took a deep breath, feeling the weight of the words you were about to say. “Isaac, I’m sorry for yelling at you yesterday. I know you’re just trying to take care of me.”

He shook his head, his eyes reflecting a mix of frustration and pain. “Every single day for the past four years, I have this fear that you’ll leave me at any moment. Yes, it is selfish, very selfish because I truly don’t know what you’re feeling, what you’re going through. But while you might’ve accepted that you’re dying, I didn’t! I just wanted to make sure you’re taking care of yourself, so you can live another day, so you can see me graduate college, see me – I don’t know – find the love of my life or get married. I’m sorry. You’re my sister, you are the last person I need to act like I’m on eggshells around you.”

Your heart ached at his words, the depth of his fear and love hitting you hard. “Your fear is valid, Isaac. Just because I’ve accepted it, doesn’t mean that I like it. But it won’t change fate, will it? It won’t change the fact that I’ve been dealt a shitty hand at life. All I know is that when I’m taking my last breaths, whenever it is, I don’t want to regret anything. I don’t want to regret not living enough because of the fear of dying. Just because I have a stupid countdown doesn’t mean I should be afraid to live.”

Isaac looked at you, his eyes moist with unshed tears. “I just want you to be here, to live as long as possible.”

“I know,” you whispered, reaching out to engulf him in a hug. “I’ll try to take better care of myself.” 

He nodded slowly, his grip tightening around your body. “And I’ll try to be less overprotective, I promise, I’ll try.”

You smiled, a tear slipping down your cheek. “Thank you, Isaac.”

As you stood there, holding onto each other in the quiet morning light, you felt a sense of peace. When he pulled back, he scrunched up his face. “But it’ll be harder to explain that to mum and dad.” 

You shrugged, “they’ll get it, one day, hopefully.” 

After breakfast, Isaac announced he needed to run some errands in town. “I’ll be back in a couple of hours,” he said, grabbing his keys. “Call me if you need anything, okay?”

You nodded, giving him a reassuring smile. “I’ll be fine. Take your time.”

As the door closed behind him, the house fell into a quiet lull. You settled back on the couch, trying to get comfortable and rest your ankle. Just as you were starting to drift off, the doorbell rang.

With a sigh, you swung your legs off the couch and hobbled toward the door, wincing with each step. When you finally reached it and pulled it open, you were greeted by Lando’s mischievous grin that quickly turned into worry.

“Hey,” he said, his brow furrowed as he took in your hobbling form. “You shouldn’t be up and about. How’s the ankle?”

“Hey, Lando,” you replied, leaning against the doorframe for support. “It’s sore but I’ll survive. Come in.”

He stepped inside, immediately reaching out to steady you. “Here, let me help you back to the couch.”

You nodded, grateful for his support. You leaned against him and held his hand as he guided you back to your spot on the couch. You couldn’t help but notice the warmth of his touch and the genuine concern in his eyes. 

“Thanks,” you said once you were settled again. “What brings you here?”

Lando shrugged, a playful smile tugging at his lips. “I wanted to check on you. Make sure you’re not getting into any more trouble.”

You chuckled softly. “Well, I did manage to twist my ankle pretty badly.”

His expression turned serious. “I know. I felt terrible leaving you like that last night.”

“It’s alright, I was already sleeping before you left,” you waved off his concern. 

“Speaking of falling asleep…” Lando began, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “I couldn’t resist stopping by the bookstore you mentioned. Figured I’d pick up a couple of books to keep us entertained.”

You grinned, appreciating his thoughtfulness. “You went to the bookstore? You really are determined to explore every corner of this town, aren’t you?”

Lando nodded enthusiastically, pulling the books out of the bag he carried when he entered. “Of course! And since my favorite tour guide is out of commission,” he said, gesturing to your injured ankle, “I had to take matters into my own hands.”

He revealed two identical books, holding them up with a grin. “Thought we could have a reading competition. Winner gets bragging rights.”

You chuckled, shaking your head in amusement. “It’s always a competition with you, isn’t it?”

Lando shrugged nonchalantly, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “What can I say? I’m a competitive guy. Comes with the territory. Oh, and by the way,” he added casually, “did I mention I’m a Formula 1 driver?”

You blinked, surprised by the revelation. “Wait, seriously?”

Lando grinned, “yeah, been racing for quite a few years now.” 

You nodded, a smile spreading on your face when he delved into the details, and it’s evident that he loves talking about his passion. 

“That actually makes so much sense, that’s how you know the Sainz family, right?” 

Lando’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Yes, but how do you know them?”

You laughed softly, and it quickly became a sound Lando loved hearing. “I live next to the villa, remember?” You teased jokingly. 

A sheepish smile grew on his face, “oh, right. So what, you’ve met Carlos too? And here I thought I was the first F1 driver you’ve met.” 

You nodded. “Yeah, in passing. We never really talked much, but I’ve seen him and his family around often.”

Then you leaned closer and whispered, “but don’t tell him that he may no longer be my favourite.” 

He quirked up an eyebrow, leaning in as well and responding with the same amount of energy. “Then who is?” 

You shrugged, leaning back with a small smile and a faint blush covering your cheeks. “I think I might have to watch a race to decide.” 

As you continued chatting with Lando, the pain in your ankle seemed to fade into the background. His enthusiasm was infectious, and you found yourself drawn into his stories about racing, the thrill of waiting for the lights to go out, and the camaraderie between his fellow drivers. 

Eventually, you decided to start the reading competition. Both of you settled into the couch with your respective books, determined to see who would finish first. But as the minutes ticked by, Lando found it hard to focus on his book. His gaze kept drifting to you, watching the way your eyes moved across the pages and the little expressions that flitted across your face as you read.

He couldn’t help but want to talk to you, to hear more about your thoughts. Finally, he put his book down with a sigh, unable to concentrate any longer.

“So, what’s next on the agenda once your ankle’s better? Something less adventurous, perhaps?”

You placed your book down after marking your page, chuckling as you looked at him. “Can’t focus, can you?” 

“Not with you around,” he shrugged casually. 

Trapping your lip between your teeth to prevent a smile from growing on your face, you chose to focus on the question he asked. 

“There’s this amazing seafood restaurant nearby. It’s a local favorite, and the food is incredible. Fresh catches of the day, and the chef’s specials are to die for. You’ll love it!”

As you spoke, you didn’t notice Lando’s face pale slightly. He wasn’t a fan of seafood, but he couldn’t bring himself to dampen your excitement by telling you the truth. The way your eyes lit up talking about the place made him want to experience it with you, even if he never wanted to be around any sort of fish. 

“Sounds great,” Lando said, forcing a smile. “I’m looking forward to it.”

You clapped your hands together, beaming. “You won’t regret it, I promise. The view from the restaurant is amazing too. It’s right by the water, and you can see the boats coming in and out of the harbor. It’s a perfect spot for a relaxing evening.”

Lando nodded, matching your enthusiasm as best he could. “That sounds perfect. I can’t wait.”

“How about we go there for dinner tomorrow?” you suggested, your excitement bubbling over.

“Tomorrow night it is,” Lando agreed, his smile genuine due to your smile despite his seafood reservations. 

The next evening came around too quickly for Lando’s liking. Instead of stressing over what to wear this time, he was worried about the food itself. The prospect of seafood was daunting, but he didn’t want to let you down. As he rummaged through his closet, Max walked into the room with a teasing grin.

“Mate, you like her so much that you’d willingly eat seafood for her?” Max said, leaning against the doorframe.

Lando looked up, a mixture of nerves and amusement on his face. “Yeah, well, it’s not just about the food. It’s about the company.”

He chuckled, “you’re a brave man.” Then he sighed exaggeratedly, “oh the things you do in love.” 

Lando’s back straightened suddenly. “It’s not love… yet. We’re just hanging out.” 

Max’s eyes widened since he didn’t expect such an answer, “wait a second, ‘yet’? Do you actually like her?”

Lando shrugged, trying to play it off, but the slight smile on his face betrayed him. “I don’t know, Max. Maybe. It’s… complicated.”

Max studied him for a moment, then a grin spread across his face. “I should’ve seen it coming, but she’s great! Maybe even a little out of your league,” he spoke with a teasing grin, that only made Lando roll his eyes when he saw his best friend’s face. 

“She’s beautiful,” he said softly, not denying Max’s words.

Max's teasing grin softened into a more serious expression. "Hey, I'm serious though. You don't have to go through with this if you're not comfortable. You shouldn't feel like you have to force yourself to like something just to impress her."

Lando appreciated Max's concern, but he shook his head. "It's not about impressing her. I want to spend time with her, Max. She's... she's different."

Max raised an eyebrow, a knowing look in his eyes. "Different, huh? Well, just be careful, okay?"

Lando nodded, his thoughts swirling with uncertainty and anticipation. "Of course."

As Max left the room, Lando took a moment to collect his thoughts. He knew Max was just looking out for him, but there was something about you that made him want to take the risk. With a determined smile, he finished getting ready and was about to head out to meet you, feeling a mix of nerves and excitement building inside him.

Right as he was leaving the villa, Max’s voice rang out. “If you need an excuse to skip out, I can come up with something. No need to torture yourself over fish.”

Lando shook his head, appreciating the concern. “Thanks, Max, but I’ll be fine. I just… I don’t want to ruin this. She’s really excited about the place.”

A very short drive later, Lando knocked on your door, and when you opened it, his eyes widened appreciatively as they swept over you. You wore a simple yet elegant dress, the color complementing your features perfectly.

“Wow,” he breathed, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “You look amazing.”

Blushing slightly at his compliment, you thanked him and closed the door behind you as you left your cottage, walking towards Lando’s car. “Thanks, Lando, you don’t look too bad yourself.”

He fell in step beside you, still admiring your outfit. “So, do you have a hot date or something?”

You chuckled at his question, shaking your head. “Nope, no dates, just going out with some racer guy, not sure if you know him.” 

Sitting in his car, he instantly looked at you with a raised eyebrow and a playful smirk dancing on his lips. “Hmm, sounds like a great guy! Is he interesting?” 

You laughed, nudging him as he drove. “Very.” 

When you arrived at the restaurant, the sun was just starting to set, casting a golden glow over the water. It was nestled right by the harbor, with a perfect view of the boats coming and going. Lando parked the car and helped you out, his hand lingering a moment longer than necessary as he offered support for your still-healing ankle. Even though you could walk without needing support again, you didn’t mind holding onto his hand. 

“Wow, this place is beautiful,” he said, genuinely impressed by the picturesque setting.

“I told you,” you replied with a satisfied smile. “Come on, let’s get a table by the window.”

The interior of the restaurant was cozy, with soft lighting and a gentle murmur of conversation filling the air. A small fish tank adorned one corner of the room, the colorful fish swimming lazily in the water. Lando couldn’t help but chuckle nervously as he glanced at the tank.

“Kinda cruel, isn’t it?” he joked, nodding towards the fish tank. "Having live fish in a seafood restaurant," Lando remarked with a wry smile. 

Still, you laughed, nodding in agreement. "The owners think it adds to the ambiance."

As you were seated and handed the menus, Lando took a deep breath, steeling himself for the seafood-heavy options. But when he looked across the table and saw your excited expression, he hoped it would all be worth it. This evening was about enjoying your company, and he was determined to do just that, and perhaps if everything went very well, he might casually mention that he’d like to take you out on an actual date. 

As the waiter took your orders, you couldn't contain your excitement, eager to indulge in the fresh seafood the restaurant had to offer. Lando, however, seemed a bit hesitant, but he eventually settled on a dish, trying to mask his apprehension with a smile.

Once the food arrived, you dug in eagerly, savoring each bite of the delicious seafood. However, as you glanced over at Lando, you noticed something was off. His attempts to conceal his discomfort were evident, and you could see the struggle on his face as he hesitantly bit into a shrimp, his expression revealing disgust as he tried to swallow it. 

Concerned, you leaned closer to him, your voice soft with worry. "Is everything okay, Lando?"

He hesitated, clearly torn, spitting the piece of shrimp into a tissue before finally admitting, "I'm sorry, I just... I can't do seafood."

Surprised by his confession, you felt a pang of guilt wash over you. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

Lando shrugged, looking sheepish. "I didn't want to ruin your plans, you looked so excited to come here and I thought I could handle it, but..."

Without hesitation, you reached out, taking his hand in yours. "Come on, let's get out of here."

Leading him out of the restaurant, you felt a mix of disappointment and concern. Disappointed that he didn’t feel comfortable sharing such a simple detail with you, and concerned that he attempted to eat a shrimp, knowing he disliked it, all for your sake.

But as you walked together, you were determined to salvage the evening because you didn’t want the night to end just yet. "How about we find a burger place? Is that something you'll enjoy."

Lando's gratitude was evident in his smile as he nodded, and together, you set off to find a new spot to continue your evening, determined to make it memorable for all the right reasons.

You and Lando ended up sitting in his car, munching on takeout burgers and fries, the mood was light and laughter filled the air. Lando was in the middle of telling a funny story from his racing season, his eyes lighting up with excitement as he recounted the antics of how multiple of his fellow drivers tried to convince him to try seafood but failed. 

You couldn’t help but laugh along, enjoying the animated way he described each moment. You playfully nudged Lando, a grin spreading across your face. “Well, it seems like all those F1 drivers couldn’t get you to try seafood, but I did, even if it was just a bite!”

Lando leaned back in his seat, a lighthearted smile playing on his lips. “You know, for you, I’d try anything… except seafood.”

As you heard Lando's words, a soft realization came to you that his remark held a hint of flirtation.

“Why don’t you like seafood anyways?” you couldn’t help but ask, especially since this town was full of loads of seafood options and now you had to think of other restaurants for him to try. 

Lando shrugged, taking another bite of his burger before answering. “I guess it’s just not my thing. I’ve never been a fan of the taste or the texture.”

As you indulged in your burger, a smear of sauce found its way to the corner of your lips. Lando's eyes caught the small detail, and with a gentle smile, he pointed it out. "You've got a little something right there."

You chuckled, raising your hand to wipe it away, but before you could, Lando's fingers grazed over the corner of your lips, wiping away the sauce. His touch was gentle, his gaze lingering for a moment longer than necessary as he leaned in close.

A subtle warmth spread through you at the intimacy of the gesture, and for a moment, time seemed to slow as you met his gaze. There was something unspoken between you, a silent acknowledgment of the growing connection that seemed to deepen with each passing moment.

His fingers lingered at the edge of your lips, and you could feel his breath, warm and inviting, mingling with yours. The world around you faded, leaving only the two of you in that fleeting instant.

“Lando…” you whispered, your voice barely audible over the pounding of your heart. The space between you grew smaller, your faces inching closer together.

He tilted his head slightly, his eyes flicking down to your lips and back up to your eyes. The anticipation was electric, a charged moment that seemed to stretch on forever.

But then, he pulled back, a faint blush tinting his cheeks. “I don’t want our first kiss to be like this,” he murmured, his voice soft but resolute. “You deserve a proper date first.”

A mix of disappointment and warmth washed over you. His thoughtfulness, his desire to make things right, only made your heart ache more with affection. Amidst the laughter and shared stories, his words hung between you, a promise of something more.

As quickly as the thought arose, the weight of your illness pressed down on you, reminding you of life's fragility and the uncertainty of tomorrow. Your thoughts lingered on wondering if you even had a future in general. To entertain the idea of a future with him would only cause your heart to ache, knowing that you might not live to see those dreams come true. 

The thought of a future, a proper date, a real kiss—all of it seemed so painfully out of reach.

It was a bittersweet realization, knowing that even the simplest of dreams could be overshadowed by the reality of your condition. While he would return back to the fast paced world of racing, you would remain in this small town, wondering how many more dreams you would have to crush because fate decided to take away your life, inch by inch. 

Awkwardness filled the car on your end, your emotions shifting to cold and stoic, like they were before you met him. The warm connection you had felt only moments ago was replaced by a wall you erected to protect your heart. Lando noticed the change, his cheerful demeanor faltering as the silence grew heavy between you.

Soon enough, you both finished your burgers, and Lando started the car to drive you home. The ride was quiet, the earlier laughter and easy conversation now replaced by a tension that neither of you acknowledged. When he pulled up to your house, he turned off the engine and looked at you, a hint of concern in his eyes.

“Do you want me to walk you to the door?” he asked softly.

You shook your head, your voice barely above a whisper. “No, it’s fine. Thanks for the evening, Lando.”

He watched as you climbed out of the car, a confused and worried expression on his face. As you walked to your door, you could feel his eyes on you, but you didn’t look back. You shut the door behind you, leaning against it for a moment as a tear threatened to slip down your cheek.

Lando sat in his car, staring at the closed door, wondering what he had done wrong and why the evening had ended on such a somber note. He couldn’t shake the feeling that something important had changed, but he had no idea what it was or how to fix it.

— 

Over the next couple of days, you don’t acknowledge the thoughts that are bubbling up in your mind, instead choosing to tread carefully and immerse yourself in your daily routine. You’ve lived a lot more than you have over the past couple of months, and felt the joy that it brings. But now, you had to face the consequences causing you to distance yourself away from Lando before you got too attached to the happiness that came with being around him. Once you realized that you truly wanted to kiss him that night, everything changed. You had to take a preemptive measure, a self-imposed boundary designed to shield your heart from potential pain. 

Your health deteriorated significantly. Your energy waned, and simple tasks like walking around the house left you breathless and exhausted. Fortunately, you have a doctor’s appointment scheduled, a simple routine checkup. However, it coincided with plans you made with Lando. Determined to distance yourself from him, you don’t tell him about the change of plans. 

At the doctor’s appointment, you sit in the sterile examination room, the familiar scent of antiseptic mingling with nerves that coil in the pit of your stomach. These appointments, routine yet crucial, serve as a barometer of your ongoing battle against your illness.

As the doctor enters, his expression is professional yet compassionate, his eyes scanning through your medical history with a practiced ease. You recount the recent symptoms you’ve been experiencing, the fatigue that seems to seep into your bones, and the persistent ache that lingers despite treatment.

With a sympathetic nod, the doctor orders a series of tests, his urgency palpable as he reviews your file. The minutes stretch into an eternity as you wait for the results, each passing second filled with a silent plea for a glimmer of hope.

When the test results finally come back, the doctor’s demeanor shifts subtly, his tone measured yet grave. “I’m afraid the results are not as we had hoped,” he begins, his words heavy with significance.

Your heart sinks at the confirmation of your worst fears, the reality of your illness casting a shadow over your hopes for improvement. Despite your best efforts, it seems that the tide of your health is turning against you once again.

A sense of dread fills you as he explains that the illness has advanced more rapidly than expected. “We need to keep you overnight for observation,” he says gently. “Your vitals are unstable, and we need to adjust your treatment plan.” 

You nod, too emotionally tired to object, allowing a nurse to lead you to the hospital room, one that you became too familiar with over the past few years. You would spend yet another night under the harsh fluorescent lights of the hospital, experience another round of tests and treatments, and take another uncertain step into the abyss of your illness.

You lie in the hospital bed, hooked up to various machines, feeling the weight of exhaustion settle over you like a heavy blanket. The familiar beeps and hums of the medical equipment provide a disconcerting backdrop to your thoughts, each sound a reminder of the precariousness of your health.

As you drift in and out of consciousness, your mind wanders to Lando, the plans you had made together now nothing more than distant dreams. Guilt gnaws at the edges of your consciousness, knowing that he waits for you, unaware of the sudden turn your day has taken.

Just as the shadows of doubt threaten to overwhelm you, a soft knock on the door interrupts your thoughts. Startled, you turn to see Isaac's familiar face framed in the doorway, concern etched into his features.

"Hey," he says softly, crossing the room to sit beside you. "I got your text. Are you okay?"

You manage a weak smile, grateful for his presence amidst the sterile confines of the hospital room. "Yeah, just another setback," you reply, your voice barely above a whisper.

Isaac reaches out to squeeze your hand gently, his touch a comforting anchor in the sea of uncertainty. "You’ll get through this," he says, his voice steady and reassuring.

As Isaac settles into the chair beside your hospital bed, he observes the flurry of activity around you—the nurses bustling about, the doctors conferring in hushed tones, tweaking the machines, their purpose still a mystery to him after all these visits.

When there's a lull in the commotion, Isaac hesitates before speaking, his voice soft with concern. "Hey, I wanted to let you know... Lando stopped by the cottage today."

“What’d he say?” you ask, your voice barely above a whisper. 

"He asked about you today," Isaac begins, his tone gentle. "Said you had plans but you didn't show. He mentioned he hasn't seen you in a couple of days. Is everything okay between you two?"

You nod weakly, offering a small smile to reassure Isaac. "Yeah, everything's fine. I just... I don't know, I guess I realized that I've been enjoying his company a lot more than I should, given my condition."

He frowns, “what’s wrong with that? You’re both happy around each other, so why are you distancing yourself away from him?” 

You scoff, “have you seen me?” You raise your arm that has an IV inserted, along with the other wires connected to you. 

“It doesn’t matter,” Isaac insists gently. “He cares about you. You deserve happiness too, regardless of what’s going on with your health.”

You shake your head, a hint of frustration in your voice. “You don’t understand, Isaac. I don’t have a guarantee of how I’m spending the next week, let alone the rest of my life. I don’t want to hurt Lando by snatching away his happiness one day too. I’m just… preventing myself, and him, from getting too attached to each other.”

Isaac sighs, his expression softening with understanding. "You're not scared of getting too attached, are you? You already are, whether you admit it or not. But by staying away, you're only hurting yourself and him more."

You avert your gaze, feeling the weight of his words sinking in. "I know," you admit quietly. "But I don't know what else to do."

"He deserves to know if he's falling in love with you," Isaac says gently, his voice filled with concern. "And you deserve to have someone by your side, especially during the tough times."

You let out a heavy sigh, knowing he's right but still unsure of what to do next. "I guess I did find someone that fate hates more than me."

"So you agree, that he's in love with you?" Isaac probes, searching your eyes for confirmation.

"He's only in love because he barely knows me," you reply, your voice tinged with sadness.

“Maybe you should give him a chance to know you, the real you,” he responds. 

You bite your lip, unsure of how to respond. Deep down, you know Isaac is right, but the fear of hurting Lando is overwhelming. Yet, the thought of pushing him away hurts just as much.

Before you can dwell on it further, a nurse enters the room, breaking the momentary silence. Isaac gives you a reassuring smile before standing up to give you some privacy. As he leaves, his words linger in the air, leaving you to contemplate the complexities of your situation.

The next morning, you’re discharged, feeling even more drained. The doctors have adjusted your medications, but the prognosis remains grim. 

You left the hospital, walking in step beside Isaac for a moment until he headed towards the parking lot to bring the car around. As you were blinking in the bright morning sunlight, you nearly collided with Max, who was just outside chatting with someone on his phone.

“Hey there!” Max greets you with a wide grin, sliding his phone into his pocket. However, his expression quickly turns into a frown as he notices the hospital wristband adorning your wrist. “Wait, were you in there?” he asks, concern lacing his words. “Is everything okay?”

You take a moment to gather your thoughts, not wanting to worry him unnecessarily or dive into the complexities of your recent hospital stay. “Oh, it was just a routine checkup, some bloodwork, you know how that goes, nothing to worry about,” you assure him with a tight-lipped smile.

Max’s eyes narrow slightly, clearly not entirely convinced by your explanation, but he decides not to press further. 

He glances over his shoulder, then back at you. “I was just at the café right down the street.” 

You nod, “good choice, they make the best coffee in town.” 

He smiled as his choice was approved by you. “Do you need a ride? I’m heading back to the villa.”

You shook your head, “no it’s alright, Isaac’s bringing the car around.”

“Alright, I guess I’ll see you around, only a few more days left before we leave this paradise,” he reminds you. 

You offer him a grateful nod. “Yeah, time flies, doesn’t it?” you reply with a forced smile since you were hoping to return home soon. “I’ll catch up with you later.”

As Max nods in agreement and starts to walk away, you can’t shake the feeling that he suspects something isn’t quite right. But you push the thought aside, determined to focus on the present moment and put on a brave face as you step away from the hospital and back into the world outside.

As Isaac parks in the driveway, you notice Lando pacing back and forth by the front door, his brows furrowed in concern. The sight of him fills you with a tumult of conflicting emotions. Isaac’s words echo in your mind, urging you to be honest with Lando, to tell him how much you care about him, to share the burden of your illness. But fear gnaws at your insides, whispering that revealing the truth will only drive him away. 

His expression changes from relief to frustration as he sees you approaching.

“Where were you?” he demanded, his voice tinged with worry. “I’ve been trying to reach you.” 

As you and Lando stand in front of each other, locked in a tense silence, Isaac takes a step back, sensing the need for privacy between you two. With a subtle nod, he heads inside the cottage, leaving you and Lando alone on the doorstep.

The weight of unspoken words hangs heavy in the air, suffocating you both with its palpable intensity. You struggle to find the right words to break the silence, to bridge the growing chasm between you, but fear and uncertainty grip you like a vice, paralyzing your tongue.

Lando shifts uncomfortably, his gaze flickering between you as if searching for answers in the depths of your eyes. His expression is a mix of hurt and confusion, mirroring the tumultuous storm raging within your own heart.

You want to tell Lando the truth, to let him in, but the thought of exposing your vulnerabilities terrifies you. You can’t bear the idea of him seeing you as fragile, of pitying you. So, holding your head up high, you decide to make him hate you before he realizes that he loves you. 

You force a nonchalant shrug, trying to play it off. “I had some errands to run, and I forgot we had plans.”

“Forgot?” he repeats, incredulous. “We made those plans a while ago. Forget that, I haven’t seen you for days. What’s really going on?”

Annoyed, and wanting to distance yourself from him before your feelings grow even stronger, you let a hint of irritation seep into your voice. “I don’t owe you an explanation for everything I do, Lando. It’s not a big deal.”

He’s taken aback by your rudeness, his face falling slightly. “Not a big deal? I’ve been worried sick about you.”

“Well, you don’t need to be,” you say curtly, avoiding his eyes. “I can take care of myself.”

An awkward silence falls between you two, the tension palpable. Lando’s expression shifts from hurt to confusion. He takes a step back, clearly stung by your words.

“Fine,” he says quietly, his voice pained. “If that’s how you want it.”

You nod, turning away from him and heading inside, each step feeling heavier than the last. Lando stands outside for a moment longer, staring at the closed door. He can’t shake the feeling that there’s more to your abrupt change in behavior, but he respects your wish for distance. With a heavy heart, he turns and walks away, leaving you alone with your thoughts and the echo of the door closing between you

You lean against the door, quickly sliding down and sitting on the floor as you cover your face with your hands, fighting back tears. 

Pushing him away is probably the hardest thing you’ve ever done, but you convince yourself it’s for the best.

Isaac spots you sitting on the floor, and quickly rushes towards you. Moving your hands away from your face, he notices the tears staining your cheeks and has an idea of how the conversation went with Lando. 

"You're still as stubborn as ever, aren't you?" he remarked rhetorically, but then he enveloped you in his arms, holding you close as you trembled with sobs. 

You pulled back slightly, sniffling as you tried to compose yourself. "I can't tell him," you whispered, your voice barely audible over the rush of emotions.

Meanwhile, Lando trudged back to the villa, his mind heavy with thoughts and his heart weighed down by the encounter with you. When he arrived, Max was idly sitting around. 

“Hey, mate,” Max greeted but his expression turned serious as he observed Lando’s demeanour. “You okay?” 

Lando shrugged, sitting next to Max as he tried to brush off the weight of his emotions. “I saw her today.” 

He nodded, “how’d it go?” 

Lando frowned, furrowing his brows. “I don’t know, Max. That’s the thing. It’s like I saw a completely different person today. Someone I thought I knew, but now… she’s like a stranger.”

Max furrowed his brow, concerned. “What do you mean?”

Lando shook his head, struggling to find the right words. “I don’t know how to explain it. It’s like she was pushing me away, Max. Acting cold and distant, like she didn’t want anything to do with me.”

Max nodded in understanding. “Well, mate, maybe she’s just having a rough day. I mean, she was at the hospital earlier.” 

His words caught Lando off guard. He blinked in surprise, his brows furrowing as he processed the information. “Wait, she was at the hospital?” he asked, a note of concern creeping into his voice.

Max nodded solemnly. “Yeah, I saw her leaving earlier today. Said it wasn’t serious, just a routine check up but she looked very tired, like she hadn’t slept properly in days.”

Lando’s concern deepened as he absorbed Max’s words. “Why didn’t she tell me?” he murmured, a mix of worry and frustration evident in his voice.

Max placed a comforting hand on Lando’s shoulder. “Maybe she just needs some space, mate. It’s not easy opening up about personal stuff, especially to someone you care about a lot.”

“You think she cares about me?” Lando asked, his tone almost a mumbling mess. 

Max scoffed, “see I knew you were an idiot but not to this extent that you don’t even see the obvious. Of course she cares about you, mate!” 

“Well I know that, it’s just I don’t wanna read into something that’s not there, you know?” 

Max squeezed Lando’s shoulder reassuringly. “Trust me, mate, it’s there. Sometimes, we just need a little nudge to see what’s right in front of us.”

Lando nodded slowly, his mind still swirling with doubts and questions. “I guess you’re right,” he conceded, a faint glimmer of hope starting to flicker within him.

Max grinned, clapping him on the back. “That’s the spirit! Just give her some time, and I’m sure things will sort themselves out.”

The cottage exudes a somber atmosphere, suffused with memories of those initial days when you sought refuge from your parents' house, just across town. After your diagnosis, living with your parents became unbearable, evoking memories of your tumultuous teenage years, always feeling scolded and misunderstood. With persuasion and determination, you relocated to the cottage, that has always acted as a second childhood home, with your brother, longing for respite from the tumult of your parents' home. Eventually, your parents themselves moved to the next town over, seeking their own fresh start, leaving you and your brother to navigate the challenges of your illness in your quiet abode.

Now, as you sit in the same kitchen where you once grappled with the harsh reality of your illness, the mood is eerily similar. A strange sense of déjà vu washes over you as the silence in the cottage seems to press down, a stark contrast to the vibrant conversations and laughter that once echoed within these walls during your childhood summers. Even more palpably, you recall the warmth of recent memories, the shared laughter with Lando when you had twisted your ankle, filling the space with a joy that now feels distant and elusive. The air is thick with unspoken words, the tension palpable as if one wrong move could shatter the fragile peace you carefully built. 

Isaac sits across from you, his presence comforting amidst the somber atmosphere. He watches you closely, his gaze filled with concern and understanding.

“Are you okay?” he asks, breaking the silence that hangs heavy between you.

You force a smile, but it feels hollow on your lips. “Just tired,” you reply, the words barely audible over the quiet hum of the refrigerator.

While Isaac may be aware of some of the pain you feel, he doesn’t know the full extent of what you’re enduring. You want to shield him from the worst, hiding just how much it hurts. The pain has been relentless, gnawing at you day and night, with only a brief sense of comfort for a few hours after taking your medication. Every movement feels like a struggle, every breath a reminder of the fragility of your condition.

Isaac studies your face, his eyes narrowing with concern. “You should call Mom and Dad,” he says softly, breaking the silence. “They need to know what’s going on. Your health is getting worse.”

You shake your head, the thought of burdening your parents with more bad news twisting your stomach into knots. “They’ve been hoping I’m getting better.”

Isaac sighs, reaching across the table to take your hand. “They’re gonna find out soon enough and they’ll want to be here for you, to support you. It’s better they hear it from you than from anyone else.”

You look down at your hands, Isaac’s warmth a stark contrast to the cold dread settling in your bones. “I just… I don’t want to shatter their hope again.”

Isaac squeezes your hand gently. “They love you. They’re not going to be disappointed in you. They’ll be worried, sure, but they need to know. You need all the support you can get.”

You nod slowly, feeling the weight of his words settle over you. “Okay,” you whisper, your voice trembling. “I’ll call them.”

Isaac gives you a reassuring smile, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. “Good. We’ll get through this together. You’re not alone.”

You manage a hint of a smile, looking at Isaac. “You know,” you say softly, “you’re such a good older brother especially for someone who’s younger than me.”

Isaac chuckles, a warm, comforting sound in the quiet room. “Age is just a number,” he says, squeezing your hand gently. “Besides, someone has to keep you in line.”

“Keep me in line? I think we’ve switched roles, remember how I used to keep you out of trouble?” You remark. 

You can feel the tension ease in the room as Isaac laughs at the memory before standing up to prepare dinner, allowing you to pick up your phone. 

The thought of hearing your parents’ voices fills you with a mixture of fear and relief. You know Isaac is right, but the conversation ahead feels like another mountain to climb. Taking a deep breath, you dial the familiar number, bracing yourself for what’s to come. The phone rings, and with each passing moment, you feel the weight of the upcoming conversation pressing down on you.

Finally, your mother answers, her voice warm and familiar. “Hello, sweetie. It’s been a while since you called. How are you?”

You hesitate for a moment, trying to keep your voice steady. “Hi, Mom. I… I need to talk to you about something.”

There’s a pause, and you can hear the concern in her voice. “What is it, honey? Is everything alright?”

Before you can respond, she quickly switches to a video call. Her face appears on the screen, eyes wide with worry. “Tell me what’s going on,” she says, her voice trembling slightly.

Seeing her face makes it harder to hold back your emotions. You take a deep breath, trying to gather your thoughts. “Mom, I’ve been trying to stay strong and not worry you and Dad, but… my health has been getting worse.”

Her expression shifts from concern to fear and then to a hint of anger masking hurt. “Worse? How worse, dear? Are you not taking care of yourself properly?”

You wince at her words, knowing they come from a place of worry. “I stayed a night at the hospital,” you continue. “They said if it doesn’t get better with the new medication, I’ll have to go back. The pain has been relentless. I can barely move without feeling it, and the medication only helps for a few hours.”

Your mother’s face pales, her eyes filling with tears. “Why didn’t you tell us sooner? We’ve been hoping you were getting better.”

“I didn’t want to worry you,” you admit, your voice cracking. “I wanted to protect you from the worst of it.”

Your mother shakes her head, wiping away a tear. “We’re your parents. We want to be there for you, no matter what. You don’t have to go through this alone.”

“I know,” you say, your own tears starting to fall. “It’s just so hard. Every day feels like a struggle, and I didn’t want to burden you.”

Isaac rounds the kitchen table and speaks up, his voice steady and supportive. “We’re all in this together, Mom. We need your support now more than ever.”

Your mother nods, her expression determined, though the hurt still lingers in her eyes. “We’ll be there for you, sweetheart. Every step of the way.”

Just then, she turns her head and calls out, “Honey, come here. It’s important.”

A moment later, your father appears on the screen, his face etched with concern. “What’s going on?”

Your mother explains quickly, her voice trembling. “She’s not doing well. She had to stay overnight at the hospital, and she might have to go back soon. We need to be there for her.”

Your father’s expression hardens with resolve. “We’ll come over soon. Don’t worry, just be careful.”

Hearing his firm, supportive words, you feel a sense of relief and hope. “I will, thank you, Dad. I love you both.”

“We love you too,” he replies, his voice full of emotion. “We’re here for you, no matter what.”

After exchanging goodbyes and promising to see each other soon, you hang up the phone, feeling a slight sense of relief wash over you. Though it's only temporary, the weight on your shoulders lifts ever so slightly.

As Isaac reveals dinner, the aroma of his culinary creation fills the air, tempting your senses with its savory goodness. But as you take a closer look at your own plate, disappointment washes over you. The food in front of you is bland and uninspiring, reminiscent of the tasteless hospital meals you’ve grown accustomed to.

You poke at your food with little enthusiasm, knowing that the increased dosage of medication has left your taste buds dulled and unresponsive. “I can’t eat this,” you mutter, pushing the plate away with a sigh.

Isaac looks up from his own meal, concern creasing his eyebrow. “Come on, you need to eat something,” he urges, his voice gentle but firm. “It’s important for your recovery.”

You shake your head, frustration bubbling up inside you. “But it tastes like nothing,” you protest, the monotony of the hospital diet weighing heavily on your spirit.

Isaac nods sympathetically, understanding your struggle. “I know it’s tough,” he says softly. “But remember what the doctor said about avoiding spice. It’s all part of the plan to help you get better.”

Reluctantly, you take a small bite, forcing yourself to chew and swallow despite the lack of flavor. The effort feels futile, but you know Isaac is right. You need to keep up your strength, even if it means enduring tasteless meals for the time being.

As you pick at your food, Isaac’s voice breaks through your thoughts, his tone lighthearted but determined. “Hey, once you’re feeling better, we’ll have a hot chicken wing contest,” he suggests, a playful twinkle in his eye. “Just like old times. And I promise, I’ll make them so spicy, you won’t be able to taste anything for a week.”

Despite yourself, a small smile tugs at the corners of your lips. The idea of a hot chicken wing contest brings back memories of happier times, when your biggest worry was who would win the next round.

“Deal,” you agree, the idea of better days ahead spurring you on. But deep down, you know the truth that you can’t bring yourself to voice aloud in front of him again. You’re not getting better, no matter how much you wish you could.

The next day, you wake up with a sense of urgency gnawing at your insides, an inexplicable feeling pulling you towards the lighthouse. It’s as if an invisible force is guiding you, compelling you to make this journey one last time.

As you slip out of bed and prepare to leave the house, a mixture of determination and trepidation fills your heart. You know deep down that this might be the last opportunity you have to climb those stairs, to feel the wind on your face as you stand at the top and gaze out at the vast expanse of the ocean.

Isaac notices your movements and steps forward, concern etched into his features.

“Hey, where are you off to?” he asks, his voice gentle yet probing.

You hesitate for a moment, unsure if you should share your intentions. But then, you meet his gaze and find solace in his familiar eyes.

“I’m going to the lighthouse,” you reply, your voice steady despite the weight of your words. “I just… need some time alone.”

Isaac’s expression softens, understanding dawning in his eyes. He reaches out to squeeze your shoulder gently, offering silent support.

“Take all the time you need,” he says softly. “And if you need anything, call me.”

With a grateful nod, you offer him a small smile before turning to leave, the weight of your decision heavy on your heart.

You make your way up the stairs to the lighthouse, each step feeling heavier than the last. The climb feels like an uphill battle, and you find yourself pausing every few steps to catch your breath.

Your chest heaves with the effort, and a wave of dizziness washes over you as you reach the halfway point. You lean against the railing, willing yourself to continue despite the fatigue that threatens to overwhelm you.

With each step, the distance between you and the top of the lighthouse seems to stretch on forever. Your muscles ache with exertion, and your breath comes in ragged gasps.

But you refuse to give up. You grit your teeth and push through the pain, focusing all your energy on reaching the summit. With each step, you draw closer to your goal, fueled by the determination to see the view from the top one last time.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, you reach the top of the lighthouse, gasping for air, only to find Lando already there, leaning against the railing and gazing out at the horizon. He turns as he hears your footsteps and ragged breaths, surprise flickering across his face. 

He takes a step back, clearly intending to give you some space. “I’ll go down,” he mutters awkwardly, gesturing towards the stairs. “This place is your spot.”

But before he can move away, you reach out and grab his hand, stopping him in his tracks. “No,” you say firmly, your voice stronger than you feel. “Stay.”

He hesitates for a moment, uncertainty flickering in his eyes, but then he nods and settles back against the railing, his gaze fixed on you with a mixture of concern and curiosity.

You take a deep breath, trying to steady your racing heart as you lean against the railing beside him. Despite the exhaustion that weighs heavily on you, being close to him brings a sense of comfort that you can’t quite explain.

“Thanks,” you murmur, grateful for his presence beside you.

He offers you a small, tentative smile in return, his hand tightening around yours in a silent gesture of support.

Taking a moment to gather your thoughts, you turn to Lando, feeling the weight of the unspoken tension between you two like a heavy blanket.

"Listen, I owe you an apology," you begin, your voice soft but sincere. "I've been acting... differently lately, and I want you to know that it's not because of anything you did. That day, I was at the hospital for a routine checkup, and it just tired me out more than I expected. I’m sorry about ditching our plans."

You technically didn’t lie, but also didn’t tell him the whole truth either. You pause, searching his face for any sign of understanding or acceptance. His expression softens, and you feel a flicker of relief.

"I shouldn't have been so rude to you," you continue, your tone earnest. "I appreciate your patience, and I'm sorry if I made you feel unwelcome."

Lando nods, his eyes reflecting empathy. "It's okay," he says gently, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze. "I understand. And I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable by showing up here."

You shake your head, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "No, you don't need to apologize. I'm glad you're here."

With that, the tension between you starts to dissolve, replaced by a sense of mutual understanding and acceptance as you stand side by side, watching the waves crash against the shore below.

Taking a moment to admire the breathtaking view from the top of the lighthouse, you feel a sense of peace wash over you. But as the adrenaline of the climb begins to wear off, your legs start to tremble beneath you, threatening to give out at any moment.

Recognizing the warning signs of exhaustion, you carefully lower yourself to the ground, your muscles protesting with each movement. Sitting down with a heavy sigh of relief, you lean back against the cool stone wall of the lighthouse, grateful for the brief respite from the physical strain.

Lando joined you as well, sitting side by side on the floor of the lighthouse. You continue to hold onto his hand, your fingers tracing patterns absentmindedly. However, despite your attempt to clear the air, he still seems hesitant, his brows furrowed with confusion. 

Finally, unable to bear the uncertainty any longer, Lando breaks the silence. “Hey, can I ask you something?” he begins, his voice tentative. 

You turn to him, meeting his gaze with a mixture of apprehension and curiosity. “Of course,” you reply, trying to keep your tone light despite the weight of the conversation.

He hesitates for a moment before plunging ahead. “Did something happen the night we went for burgers?” he asks, his words carefully measured. “I mean, you seemed off after… and I’ve been wondering if I did something wrong.”

Realization dawns on you that he’s talking about the almost kiss. The memory of that night floods back, the charged moment in his car when he had pulled back. You had admired his restraint, his desire to do things right, but it also made your heart ache with longing.

Your heart sinks at his words, the guilt weighing heavy on your chest. “No, Lando,” you assure him, squeezing his hand gently. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” 

You glance at him, seeing the earnest concern in his eyes. How you wish you had the courage to pull him in by his collar and kiss him then, to let him know just how much he meant to you despite everything. 

But he doesn’t seem convinced, his gaze searching yours for any sign of dishonesty. “Don’t lie,” he says softly, his voice tinged with a hint of frustration.

You hesitate, grappling with the weight of your own emotions and the truth you’re desperate to conceal. Part of you wants to tell him how much his presence means to you, how his laughter lights up even the darkest corners of your world. But fear holds you back, whispering cruel reminders of the inevitability of heartbreak both of you will experience. 

Instead of answering his question, you take a deep breath and change the subject. “So, when are you leaving?” you ask, trying to divert his attention away from your own turmoil.

He furrows his brow, clearly surprised by the sudden shift in conversation but decides not to push for an answer. “Tomorrow,” he replies, a hint of sadness in his voice.

You offer him a small smile, “well, I hope you had a good time despite my lackluster tour guide skills,” you quip, attempting to lighten the mood.

He chuckles softly, the sound warm and genuine. “Meeting you was my favorite part,” he admits, his gaze unwavering as he meets your eyes. “Spending time with you, even if it wasn’t every day, made this trip unforgettable.”

You feel a blush creeping up your cheeks at his admission, the warmth of his gaze sending a shiver down your spine. There’s a playful glint in his eyes that ignites a natural spark of flirtation between you. 

In the quiet solitude of the lighthouse, you find yourself caught up in the moment with Lando, the days missed due to your own fear melting away with each shared smile and genuine laugh. Despite the lingering weight of your illness and the uncertainty that shadows your future, you're finally able to let go of the constant worry and embrace the present.

You realize that constantly dwelling on the unknown, on whether you'll have more time together or not, only serves to rob you of the joy of the moment. So instead, you allow yourself to be fully present with Lando, savoring each precious second together.

Yet, beneath the surface of your newfound acceptance, there still lingers a trace of fear. You know that distancing yourself from Lando won't protect either of you from the inevitable pain that lies ahead. His genuine smile, the way his eyes light up when he's with you, speaks volumes, and you can't deny the pull you feel toward him.

Despite the uncertainty of what the future holds, you're willing to take the risk, to open your heart to the possibility of love, even if it means facing the inevitable heartache that may follow. Because in the end, the fleeting moments of happiness you share with Lando are worth every ounce of pain.

Lando straightens up, his movements fluid and confident, as he leans in closer, a playful glint dancing in his eyes. "Hey, do you mind giving me your number and surname?" he asks casually, but there's a hint of mischief in his tone.

You raise an eyebrow, a small smirk tugging at the corners of your lips. "What are you going to do with that information?" you inquire, your curiosity piqued.

His smile widens, a charming grin that could melt anyone's heart. "Well, first so we can still stay in touch even if I’m on the other side of the world, and second so I can send you a pass for one of my races," he replies smoothly, his voice laced with playful charm.

You can't help but chuckle at his response, shaking your head in amusement. "And why would I come to your race?" you tease, enjoying the banter between you.

Lando's gaze softens, a warmth in his eyes that catches you off guard. "I think you might be my lucky charm," he admits, his tone sincere.

You pause, feeling a flutter of excitement mixed with uncertainty. "You believe in lucky charms?" you ask, a hint of skepticism in your voice.

He nods, his smile unwavering. "I didn't," he confesses, "but now it seems like a good time to start believing. Why are you asking so many questions?" he adds playfully, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

You can't help but smile at his lighthearted demeanor, appreciating the way he effortlessly lightens the mood. "You don't want me as a lucky charm," you reply, a touch of self-doubt creeping into your voice.

Lando's expression softens, his gaze filled with genuine warmth. "Why not?" he counters, his tone gentle yet determined.

"It won't last long," you murmur, a pang of sadness tugging at your heart as you glance away.

He reaches out, gently tilting your chin to meet his gaze. "It'll last as long as you're by my side," he insists, his voice sincere and unwavering. "That is up to you, don't you think so?"

His words catch you off guard, stirring something deep within you. "Now who's asking lots of questions?" you tease, attempting to lighten the mood.

"Still you," he replies with a chuckle, his eyes twinkling with affection.

You shake your head, feeling a surge of warmth at his playful banter. "You're something else, Lando."

"So are you," he replies, his smile soft and genuine. "In the best way possible."

You oblige Lando’s request, typing your phone number into his phone and saving your full name in his contacts. It’s a small gesture, but one that feels significant in the moment, despite the fact that you know you’ll never take him up on the offer for a pass to his race.

As the sun casts its golden glow across the rugged coastline, you and Lando sit side by side, taking in the breathtaking view from the top of the lighthouse. The air is filled with the sounds of seagulls circling overhead and the distant rumble of waves crashing against the shore below.

Lando’s arm around your shoulders feels like a lifeline, grounding you in the present moment amidst the tumult of your thoughts and emotions. You find solace in his presence, a sense of calm washing over you as you soak in the warmth of the afternoon sun.

The playful banter and teasing remarks give way to a comfortable silence, allowing you both to simply be in each other’s company without the need for words. It’s a moment of quiet intimacy, where the weight of the world fades away and all that matters is the connection between you and Lando.

You lean into his embrace, feeling the steady rhythm of his breathing and the reassuring strength of his arm around you. In this moment, surrounded by the beauty of nature and the warmth of Lando’s presence, you feel a sense of peace wash over you, knowing that whatever the future may hold, you’re grateful for this moment of shared serenity.

As you both prepare to descend the stairs, Lando pauses, noticing your reluctance to leave the view behind. "Shouldn't I be the one lingering back to admire the horizon? After all, I'm the one leaving, not you," he quips with a playful smirk.

You chuckle at his remark, shaking your head in amusement. "Come on, Lando, don't act like you're the only one who appreciates a good view," you tease back, nudging him lightly.

He grins, his gaze lingering on you for a moment before turning back to the scenery. "Fair point," he concedes, his tone light and playful. “I’ll wait for you downstairs then.” 

You nod, watching him make his way down the stairs. The gentle breeze ruffles your hair, and you take a deep breath, committing the scene to memory.

With a sense of purpose, you scan the area, searching for the perfect spot to leave your message. Your eyes alight on a small alcove tucked away in a corner, sheltered from the wind and hidden from plain sight. It’s a secluded nook, easily overlooked by passersby, but will be found if it’s searched for. 

Slipping something into the alcove, you ensure it’s nestled securely among the shadows, a subtle gesture meant for only the most observant of visitors. With a satisfied nod, you turn to follow Lando down the stairs. 

—

The following day is a whirlwind of activity as your parents arrive at the cottage. They come bearing an array of supplies and comforts, ready to pamper you with their love and attention.

"Sweetheart, we brought some of your favorite homemade meals," your mom chirps, bustling into the kitchen with bags of groceries in tow.

Your dad follows closely behind, a stack of freshly laundered blankets in his arms. "And I made sure to pack extra blankets in case you get chilly," he adds with a warm smile.

Isaac turns to your mother, his expression gentle yet concerned. “Just a heads up, she can’t have any spicy food because of the doctor’s orders,” he explains, hoping to avoid any culinary mishaps.

“Isaac, don’t ruin it,” you mutter, holding the tupperware filled with your favourite dishes. 

Your dad, overhearing the conversation, interjects with a reassuring pat on Isaac’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, son. Your mother has spent many hours in the kitchen cooking up a storm for our girl here,” he says with a fond smile. “A little taste of home can work wonders for the soul.”

You can't help but smile at their fussing, feeling a mixture of gratitude and guilt at their doting gestures. "How long are you planning to stay?" you inquire, trying to gauge the extent of their visit.

"Until you're better, of course," your mom replies without hesitation, her tone leaving no room for argument.

Throughout the day, your parents dote on you, attending to your every need with unwavering devotion. They fluff pillows, brew tea, and fuss over you as if you were a child again, and despite the sadness that tugs at your heart, you find solace in their presence.

As evening falls and the cottage is filled with the aroma of home-cooked meals, you can't help but feel a pang of bittersweet nostalgia. These moments of familial closeness are precious, and you savor each one, knowing deep down that they may be fleeting.

Amidst the cozy atmosphere that had filled your cottage, a sudden realization dawns on you. Today is the day Lando is leaving, and with the flurry of activity happening throughout the day, you had almost forgotten. 

Abandoning your dinner mid-bite, you quickly put on a pair of shoes, your heart pounding with urgency. As you rush towards the door, your parents pause in their fussing, exchanging puzzled glances as they notice your abrupt departure.

“Where are you going?” your mom asks, concern etched in her voice.

You pause in the doorway, a sense of determination driving you forward. “I have to see Lando,” you reply, your words rushed and breathless.

As you disappear out the door, your parents turn to your brother, confusion evident in their expressions. “Who’s Lando?” your dad asks, his brow furrowed in bewilderment.

Isaac sighs, shaking his head as he meets their gaze. “He’s the one she’s in love with,” he explains softly, a hint of sadness in his voice. “But I’m not sure if she’s ready to accept it yet.” 

As you reach the villa, your breath comes in ragged gasps, each inhale becoming a struggle. Pain pulses through your chest with every heartbeat, but you refuse to let it slow you down. Adrenaline surges through your veins, driving you forward with an urgency born of raw emotion.

Your eyes scan the scene before you, taking in the sight of Max hurriedly loading the car with his and Lando’s bags. The trunk is nearly full, a testament to the impending departure that looms over you like a storm cloud. You feel a knot form in your stomach, a sense of panic seizing hold of you as you realize that time is slipping away.

Then, amidst the chaos, you spot Lando emerging from the villa, his expression one of surprise and concern as he catches sight of you. His brow furrows in confusion, his eyes searching yours for an explanation.

Without hesitation, you push yourself forward, your feet carrying you towards him with a desperate urgency. With trembling hands, you reach out to him, your fingers brushing against his arm before wrapping around him in a tight embrace. His warmth envelops you, a comforting anchor amidst the storm raging within you. For a fleeting moment, the pain in your chest eases, replaced by a sense of peace that only he can provide.

For a long moment, you simply hold onto each other, the world around you fading into insignificance as you find solace in each other’s arms. The weight of unspoken words hangs heavy between you, the truth lingering on the tip of your tongue, waiting to be unleashed.

As you finally pull away, a silent understanding passes between you, a shared acknowledgment of the depth of your connection. Lando’s gaze searches yours, his eyes filled with a mixture of concern and affection, silently asking if you’re okay.

You manage a faint smile, though it feels fragile on your lips. “I just had to see you before you left,” you confess softly, your voice barely above a whisper.

His expression softens, a warmth in his eyes that speaks volumes. “I’m glad you came,” he replies, his voice gentle and reassuring.

You linger for a moment longer, drinking in the sight of him, committing every detail to memory. Then, with a heavy heart, you reluctantly release him, knowing that time is running short.

As Lando returns to help Max with the bags, you watch him go, a sense of longing tugging at your heart. 

Once everything was packed up, Lando and Max walked towards you, their footsteps echoing on the gravel driveway. Max reaches you first, his face lit with a warm smile. Without hesitation, he pulls you into a brief, friendly hug. 

“Thanks for the good company,” Max says, his voice full of genuine gratitude. “And for keeping Lando’s mood up throughout this trip. You’ve been a real lifesaver.” He chuckles, the sound infectious, and you can’t help but laugh along with him.

“Anytime,” you reply, your smile widening. “It’s been fun having you both around.”

Max steps back, giving Lando space to step forward. Lando’s eyes meet yours, and there’s a depth of emotion there that makes your heart skip a beat. He takes your hands in his, holding them gently as if afraid you might disappear.

“This isn’t goodbye,” Lando says softly, his tone filled with a mixture of hope and determination. “Just a ‘see you later,’ alright?”

You nod, the lump in your throat making it hard to speak. “See you later,” you manage to whisper, your voice trembling with emotion.

Lando pulls you into a tight embrace this time, his arms wrapping around you protectively. You breathe in his familiar scent, the comfort of his presence grounding you in the moment.

He pulls back slightly, his hands resting on your shoulders as he searches your face. “Don’t think I forgot about giving you a pass,” he says with a small, teasing smile. “I’ll be waiting for you at the race.”

You smile through the tears that threaten to spill over. “We’ll see.” 

Max claps Lando on the back, breaking the emotional moment. “Come on, mate, we’ve got a plane to catch.”

With one last look, Lando releases you and heads towards the car. You watch them drive away, a mix of sadness and hope swirling within you. The ache in your chest grows, but you try to push it aside, focusing on ways to fulfill the promise of seeing him again.

As you start walking back home, the exertion from earlier catches up to you. Your breath becomes labored, each step feeling heavier than the last. A sharp pain radiates through your chest, and you find yourself struggling to stay upright. Determined to make it back to the cottage, you push on, but every movement is a reminder of your body’s limitations.

By the time you reach the door, you’re barely holding on. You collapse onto the porch steps, gasping for breath, the world around you blurring as you fight to stay conscious. Moments later, the door swings open, and Isaac is there, his face pale with worry.

“Hey, are you okay?” he asks, rushing to your side. His voice sounds distant, echoing in your ears.

You try to speak, but the words get caught in your throat. Instead, you manage a weak nod, though it’s clear you’re far from okay.

Isaac doesn’t waste another second. He scoops you up in his arms, carrying you inside. “Mom! Dad!” he calls out, his voice frantic. “Something’s wrong. We need to get her to the hospital.”

Your parents appear almost instantly, their faces a mixture of fear and determination. Your dad grabs the car keys while your mom hurries to gather your things, her hands shaking.

In the car, you drift in and out of consciousness, the pain and exhaustion overwhelming you. Your mom holds your hand tightly, whispering soothing words that barely register. Isaac drives with a grim focus, the worry in his eyes reflected in the rearview mirror.

At the hospital, the staff quickly takes over, whisking you away on a stretcher. Your family is left in the waiting room, their anxious faces a blur as you’re rushed through the halls.

As the doctors and nurses work to stabilize you, you catch fleeting thoughts of Lando, Max, and the brief, bright moments you shared. The reality of your condition settles in, and you realize just how fragile your hope had been.

The doctors stabilize you for now, but you wake to the sound of your mother's soft cries in the room. Her face is buried in your father's shoulder, her shoulders shaking with quiet sobs. Your father is holding her close, his eyes red and puffy, a grim expression etched on his face. Isaac stands nearby, his jaw clenched, trying to hold himself together.

You blink, the fluorescent lights above casting a harsh glow on the stark white walls. A doctor stands at the foot of your bed, looking somber. You catch bits and pieces of his words, the clinical detachment in his voice contrasting sharply with the raw emotion in the room.

"...best if she doesn’t return home... too weak... last days in the hospital..."

The full weight of the words crashes over you, and a sense of helplessness fills your heart. You try to speak, but your throat is dry, and the words come out as a rasp. "Mom? Dad?"

Your mother's head snaps up at the sound of your voice, and she rushes to your side, taking your hand in hers. "Oh, sweetheart," she whispers, tears streaming down her face. "We're here. We're right here."

Your father moves closer, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. "We won't leave your side," he promises, his voice steady despite the tears in his eyes.

Isaac approaches the bed, his usual bravado stripped away. "Hey," he says softly, trying to muster a smile. "We’re all here for you."

You swallow hard, trying to process the reality of the situation. "How long?" you manage to ask, your voice barely a whisper.

The doctor steps forward, his expression compassionate. "It’s hard to say for certain," he admits gently. "But we’ll do everything we can to keep you comfortable."

You nod, a mixture of fear and resignation settling over you. Your mother's sobs have quieted, but the sorrow in her eyes is unmistakable. "I’m so sorry," you whisper, feeling a pang of guilt for putting them through this.

"No, don’t apologize," your father says firmly, squeezing your shoulder. "This isn’t your fault. We’re just grateful to be here with you."

Your family’s presence brings a small measure of comfort, but the reality of your condition is a heavy burden. You look around at their faces, trying to memorize every detail, every expression. The room feels both claustrophobic and infinite, the moments stretching out like a fragile thread.

As the night wears on, you find solace in their presence. Your mother hums softly, stroking your hair, while your father reads to you from a book you loved as a child. Isaac sits by the window, watching the night sky, his expression pensive.

You know that the days ahead will be difficult, but for now, you take comfort in the love that surrounds you. The hospital room, with its sterile walls and beeping machines, becomes a sanctuary of sorts, a place where you can hold on to the precious moments with your family, no matter how fleeting they may be.

—

The sterile scent of the hospital room is overwhelming, the beeping of the machines a constant reminder of the deteriorating state of your health. The wires and tubes attached to your body are a constant presence, their weight both physical and symbolic. The medication dulls the pain, but it also leaves you in a fog, half-aware of the world around you.

Isaac sits by your bedside, his expression a mix of forced cheerfulness and hidden sorrow. He tries to make you laugh, telling stories and cracking jokes, but there’s an underlying tension in his voice.

You take a shaky breath and glance at Isaac. “So, this is it, huh?” you say with a dry laugh, trying to sound casual but failing to hide the sadness in your voice.

He looks at you, the forced cheerfulness slipping from his face. “Still laughing?” he asks, his voice quivering.

“If I don’t laugh, I’ll cry,” you admit, your voice barely above a whisper. “And I don’t want that to be the last expression you remember me by.”

Isaac’s eyes glisten with unshed tears. “Remember when you said that you weren’t able to be a proper older sister to me ever since you got diagnosed?” he asks softly. “That’s wrong. You still were because you powered through every moment of pain on your own. Even now, you’re as selfless as ever.”

Tears prick at the corners of your eyes, and you swallow hard. “I got a taste of how it feels to be selfish recently,” you confess, your voice trembling. “To see what you want right there in front of you, waiting for you to take it, but I almost got too attached to it that fate had to rip it away from me again.”

“Are you talking about Lando?” Isaac asks gently, his eyes searching yours.

You nod, the memories of your brief time with Lando flooding back, a bittersweet ache in your chest. “Life is so cruel, so fickle,” you say, your voice barely audible. “When I finally accepted my fate, it flipped and gave me a chance to be happy, to fall in love, to live like I’ve never done before. When I experienced it all, it just made me greedy. I wanted to keep living like that. But I won’t be able to because in a moment, it’s taken away again.”

Isaac squeezes your hand, his grip warm and reassuring. “You deserved every moment of happiness,” he says, his voice thick with emotion. “And you brought happiness to those around you, too. Remember that.”

The days pass in a blur of medical checks, whispered conversations, and the quiet hum of machines. Your parents come and go, their faces lined with worry but always offering words of comfort and love.

Then comes Sunday, one that’s special for you because it’s also race day. 

The hospital room is dim, illuminated only by the soft glow of the television screen mounted on the wall. The muted hum of machines and the occasional beep provide a constant backdrop to your labored breathing. Your family surrounds you, their presence a source of comfort even as your strength wanes. The room is filled with an unspoken tension, a fragile hope that somehow, you might find the strength to hold on a little longer.

Earlier in the day, you had pleaded with the nurses to let you watch the race. “Please,” you whispered, your voice weak but determined. “I just want to see him race one last time.”

The nurses had exchanged glances, their expressions softening. “Alright,” one of them had said gently. “We’ll make sure you can watch it.”

Now, the vibrant colors of the Formula 1 race contrast sharply with the sterile white of the hospital room. Lando’s car, resplendent in its sleek orange design, zips around the track with an elegance and speed that seems almost otherworldly. The commentator’s voice crackles with excitement as they describe the race in vivid detail.

“And Lando Norris takes the lead! He’s showing incredible skill out there today, really pushing the limits of his car and his own abilities. The crowd is going wild!”

You try to focus on the race, on the laps ticking by, the thrill of each turn, but it’s becoming increasingly difficult. Your vision blurs, the lines between the real and the surreal beginning to merge. Every breath is a struggle, each one more labored than the last.

Your mother sits by your side, her hand gently stroking your hair, her eyes red-rimmed but determined to stay strong. Your father stands at the foot of the bed, his face etched with lines of worry and sorrow. Isaac holds your hand, his grip firm and reassuring, his eyes never leaving your face.

You gather your remaining strength, turning your head slightly to look at Isaac. “Can you give him a message for me?” you ask, your voice barely more than a whisper, each word a struggle.

Isaac leans closer, his face etched with concern and determination. “What do you want to say?” he asks gently, his eyes locked onto yours, ready to carry your words to Lando.

You pause, the weight of the moment settling over you. With great effort, you manage to form the words that have been in your heart. “Tell him… tell him that he made me believe in living life again. That he gave me something beautiful in my last days. And… and that I’ll always be cheering for him, even if I’m not there.”

Isaac’s eyes glisten with unshed tears, and he nods, his voice steady despite the emotion in his eyes. “I will. I promise.”

On the television, Lando navigates the sharp turns of the track with precision and grace. The roar of the engines and the thrill of the race create a stark contrast to the quiet, somber atmosphere of your room. The commentator’s voice booms with excitement.

“Norris is extending his lead! This could be his race if he keeps up this pace. The team must be thrilled with his performance!”

On the Formula 1 track, the atmosphere is electric. Lando sits in his car, adrenaline coursing through his veins. He can feel every vibration of the engine, every nuance of the track. The pit crew buzzes with activity, their movements synchronized and efficient. Over the radio, his engineer’s voice provides updates and encouragement.

“You’re doing great, Lando. Keep this up and the win is yours.”

Lando nods inside his helmet, his focus razor-sharp. The crowd’s cheers blend into a singular wave of energy that propels him forward. He pushes the car to its limits, every fiber of his being dedicated to the race.

Back in the hospital, your breathing becomes more labored, and your family’s concern deepens. Your mother’s voice breaks as she hums softly, a lullaby from your childhood. Isaac squeezes your hand, his own tears finally breaking free.

“I love you,” you whisper, the words a final, heartfelt goodbye.

“We love you too,” Isaac responds, his voice choked with emotion. “More than anything.”

On the track, Lando crosses the finish line, the checkered flag waving triumphantly. The crowd erupts into a frenzy of cheers and applause. The commentator’s voice is almost drowned out by the noise.

“Lando Norris wins the race! What an incredible performance!”

In the paddock, Lando is overwhelmed with joy, the culmination of his efforts and dedication. He pulls off his helmet, his face breaking into a wide smile as he celebrates with his team. He can’t wait to share the victory, to tell you about the race, to see the look of pride in your eyes.

You watch from the hospital room, as Lando stands on the podium, lifting the trophy high, a sense of accomplishment filling him. A smile graces your lips, noticing the pure joy on his face. Then, you close your eyes, the vision of Lando’s smile still fresh in your mind. 

Time stands still. As the world fades around you, your family holds you close, their whispered goodbyes blending into a chorus of love and sorrow. The light in your eyes dims, and with one last, labored breath, you slip away into a place beyond suffering.

As soon as the machine flatlines, the piercing sound of the monitor cuts through the room, signaling the end. Your mother's cries shatter the silence, raw and heart-wrenching. She grips your hand with desperate strength, her knuckles turning white, as if her hold on you could somehow bring you back. 

"No, no, please!" she sobs, her voice cracking with each word. Tears stream down her face, her body trembling with the force of her grief. She shakes you gently at first, then more insistently, refusing to accept the finality of it. "Wake up, please wake up!"

Your father stands by her side, his own face etched with anguish. He places a hand on her shoulder, trying to offer support, but his own tears betray his stoic exterior. Isaac, standing a little apart, is frozen in shock, his eyes wide and uncomprehending as he watches the scene unfold. 

The room is filled with the oppressive weight of sorrow, the air heavy with the collective grief of your family. The nurses, having done all they could, step back to give your family space, their own expressions somber and respectful. 

Your mother’s cries grow louder, a desperate plea to a reality that feels too cruel to be true. She holds your hand to her cheek, her tears wetting your skin as she rocks back and forth. "Please, don’t leave us," she whispers, her voice breaking. "We need you."

The doctor steps forward, his face grave, and gently places a hand on your mother’s arm. "I’m so sorry for your loss," he says quietly, his words sincere but powerless against the tidal wave of their grief.

The only reality that matters is the unbearable pain of losing you, and the impossible task of trying to say goodbye.

On the top step of the podium, Lando basks in the glow of victory, the thrill of the race still pulsing through him. But amidst the celebration, a nagging feeling tugs at him, a sense that something is missing. A bittersweet undercurrent flows through his triumph.

Unbeknownst to him, a message of love and gratitude is on its way, bridging the distance between the track and the hospital room, connecting two hearts in a moment that transcends time and space.

Suddenly, your phone rings, the shrill sound cutting through the flatline beeping on the monitor. Each ring echoes through the room like a mournful dirge. Isaac’s hand hovers over the device, his heart pounding in his chest as he hesitates to answer. But when the call comes again, he knows there’s no escaping the inevitable.

With trembling fingers, he accepts the call, the voice on the other end sending a shiver down his spine. “Were you watching the race? I told you that you are my lucky charm.”

Isaac’s breath catches in his throat, his eyes welling with tears at the bitter irony of Lando’s words. He struggles to find the strength to respond, his voice choked with emotion. “Lando… it’s Isaac.”

There’s a moment of stunned silence on the other end of the line, followed by a tremor of uncertainty in Lando’s voice. “Isaac? What’s wrong? Is everything okay?”

Isaac’s heart clenches at the desperation in Lando’s voice, his own grief threatening to consume him. “She’s gone, Lando,” he manages to choke out, his voice breaking with sorrow. “My sister… she’s gone.”

The words hang heavy in the air, a painful reminder of the cruel twist of fate that has robbed them of their happiness. Lando’s breath hitches, his voice barely a whisper as he responds. “No… no, that can’t be true. Tell me you’re lying, tell me this is some sick joke please”

Isaac’s heart aches as he hears the disbelief and anguish in Lando’s voice. He wishes he could erase the truth, to shield Lando from the devastating reality they now face. But there’s no escaping it, no denying the painful truth that hangs between them like a heavy shroud.

“I wish I could, Lando,” Isaac murmurs, his own voice choked with sorrow. “I wish this was just a sick joke, but… but she’s really gone.”

There’s a long, agonizing pause, broken only by the sound of Lando’s ragged breathing on the other end of the line. Isaac can imagine the turmoil raging within him, the crushing weight of grief threatening to overwhelm him entirely. He relays the message that you had for him, only hearing Lando breathing heavily in response. 

As Lando stands there, clutching the phone that brought him devastating news, the world around him seems to blur into a haze of incomprehensible grief. The congratulations from his fellow drivers fall on deaf ears, their voices distant and muffled as if coming from a far-off place. Daniel, Carlos, George—all of them offer their heartfelt congratulations, their smiles genuine, but Lando can't bring himself to respond. 

He feels disconnected, as if he's merely a spectator watching his own life unfold from a distance. The cameras flash around him, capturing the jubilant celebrations of victory, but Lando feels nothing but a hollow emptiness gnawing at his soul.

Unable to bear the facade any longer, Lando excuses himself from the crowd, retreating to the sanctuary of his driver's room. Once alone, the weight of his grief crashes over him like a tidal wave, threatening to drown him in its depths.

With a gut-wrenching scream, Lando releases the pent-up anguish that has been building inside him since the moment he received that fateful call. He falls to his knees, his body racked with sobs as he grapples with the cruel twist of fate that has torn his world apart.

In that moment of agonizing despair, Lando feels utterly alone, lost in a sea of grief with no shore in sight. The victory he had worked so hard for feels meaningless now, a hollow triumph overshadowed by the devastating loss of someone he held dear.

As the echoes of his cries fade into the silence of the empty room, Lando finds himself consumed by a profound sense of despair. In the midst of his greatest triumph, he is confronted with the harsh reality of mortality, and it is a bitter pill to swallow.

Alone in his hotel room, Lando’s victory feels hollow amidst the empty silence that surrounds him. Instead of celebrating with the fanfare of music, alcohol, and camaraderie that would be expected after such a result, he finds himself throwing his belongings haphazardly into his suitcase, his movements mechanical and devoid of purpose. 

The room feels suffocating, the weight of grief pressing down on him like a physical force. With a sense of urgency, Lando hastily gathers his things, his hands trembling as he zips up his suitcase. 

As he exits the hotel, he fires off a text to his manager, explaining the situation briefly, typing through his clouded vision full of more unshed tears. 

Lando chooses not to drive, the mere thought of operating a vehicle feeling like an insurmountable task. Instead, he hails a taxi, his mind consumed by thoughts of you and the gaping void left in your absence.

The taxi driver casts him a curious glance as he climbs into the backseat, his tear-streaked face a stark contrast to the typical fare. But Lando pays no mind to the stares, his thoughts consumed by the overwhelming grief that threatens to consume him.

Throughout the journey to the airport, Lando’s tears continue to flow unabated, his heart weighed down by the magnitude of his loss. He feels adrift, lost in a sea of pain and sorrow, unsure of how to navigate the tumultuous waters of his emotions.

Lando finds himself grappling with conflicting emotions as he boards the plane back to the town filled with memories of you. Despite the overwhelming pain of revisiting every corner suffused with reminders of your presence, he knows deep down that he cannot stay away.

The thought of pretending that everything is fine when it's not feels like a betrayal of the love you shared, a denial of the profound impact you had on his life. And so, with a heavy heart and a mind clouded by grief, Lando embarks on the journey back to the place where his heart still lingers, knowing that he must confront the pain head-on in order to find a semblance of peace.

Lando’s return to town is marked by exhaustion and dishevelment, the toll of a sleepless night evident in the shadows beneath his eyes and the weariness etched into his features. He barely manages to greet Isaac before retreating to the solitude of the lighthouse, seeking solace in the familiar embrace of its quiet sanctuary.

As Lando stands at the top of the lighthouse, his gaze fixed on the horizon, he can't shake the feeling of déjà vu that washes over him. The flickering beam of the lighthouse casts eerie shadows against the walls, the only sound the mournful cry of seagulls in the distance. It's as if he's been transported back in time, to a moment frozen in history, when tragedy and loss hung heavy in the air.

Tears stream down his cheeks, his sobs echoing in the empty space around him as he allows himself to surrender to the overwhelming tide of emotion.

In the stillness of the lighthouse, Lando is consumed by a sense of profound loss, his heart aching with the absence of the one he longs for. He sits there for hours, his thoughts consumed by memories of you, his soul yearning for the warmth of your presence.

In the dim light, Lando recalls the story you once shared with him, of the tragic love that had unfolded within these very walls decades ago. A woman, waiting faithfully for her lover's return, had spent countless nights standing vigil at the top of the lighthouse, her heart filled with hope and longing. But as the years passed and her lover failed to return, her hope turned to despair, her love transformed into bitter regret.

Now, as Lando stands in the same spot, he can't help but draw parallels between that long-ago tragedy and his own situation. Like the woman of the story, he finds himself clinging to a glimmer of hope, praying for a miracle that may never come. In his heart, he still holds onto the belief that you'll come back to him, that the news of your loss is just a bad dream from which he'll soon awaken.

With each passing moment, however, the harsh reality of your absence becomes more pronounced, the weight of grief bearing down on him like a leaden cloak. Yet, despite the pain that threatens to consume him, Lando refuses to give up hope. He remains steadfast in his vigil, his eyes scanning the horizon for any sign of your return, his heart yearning for the moment when he'll finally see you again.

His gaze sweeps over every corner of the lighthouse, wanting to etch every detail into his memory. The soft glow of the fading sunlight filters through the windows, casting a warm golden hue over the space. He takes a deep breath, trying to imprint the scent of saltwater and sea breeze into his mind.

As he moves around, his eyes fall upon a small alcove tucked away in a corner, hidden from plain sight. Something tugs at his instincts, urging him to investigate further. With cautious curiosity, he steps closer, his heart pounding in anticipation.

Reaching into the alcove, his fingers brush against something smooth and delicate. He pulls out a folded piece of paper, his breath catching in his throat as he realizes what it is. With trembling hands, he unfolds the note, his eyes scanning the words written in your handwriting.

Lando, I hope this note finds its way to you. It's strange how emotions can turn even the fearless into cowards. I couldn't bring myself to give you this letter in person, so I'm leaving it here, hoping it reaches you. I'm guessing you already know the truth, and that I'm no longer here by your side.

As he reads those words, he can hear your voice in his mind. The acknowledgment that you couldn't face him in person fills him with a mix of sadness and understanding. He feels a pang of guilt, wondering if there was something he could have done differently to make you feel more comfortable sharing your feelings with him. 

I don’t think a mere ‘I’m sorry’ is enough for keeping the truth from you. The reason why I did is because every moment with you felt like a dream, and in my dreams, my illness never existed. I’ve always cursed fate for the shitty hand it dealt me but I never would’ve gotten a chance to live something close to the perfect life if it wasn’t for fate. 

A melancholic smile tugs at his lips as he reflects on the sentiment expressed in your words. Each moment spent with you had indeed felt like a dream, a precious respite from the relentless demands of the racing world.

Before you came to town, I felt like a living corpse, waiting for my illness to take me under, but when I met you, it gave me a purpose to look forward to the next day. Being your tour guide, although I think it was because you just wanted to spend time with me, was probably the most I’ve lived ever since I was diagnosed. While I used your presence as an excuse to live like I used to, I didn’t ever imagine falling in love with anyone, much less a British racing driver. 

A wave of emotions wash over him as he reads your heartfelt confession, his own heart aching with a mixture of sadness and longing. Tears blur his vision as he continues reading, slightly tracing over your words with his finger. 

I wish I had the courage to say this to you face to face, to witness your reaction and perhaps hear you say the words back. But one thing I admire about you is your ability to live in the moment. So, in this moment, I want to tell you that I love you, Lando Norris, even though I'm no longer by your side. I hope our memories bring a smile to your face, just as they did to mine. 

Please, don’t blame yourself for any of this. You're the best thing that ever happened to me. You're the reason I found joy again, laughter again. Lando, you brought me back to life. Thank you. I'll love you always.

- Your favourite tour guide

As he reaches the final words of the note, he clutches it to his chest, feeling your presence close to him. In that moment, amidst the quiet solitude of the lighthouse, Lando finds a fleeting sense of peace amidst the storm of his emotions. He knows that no matter what the future holds, your love will always remain a guiding light in his heart.

With tears streaming down his cheeks, he whispers a silent promise to you, his beloved tour guide, into the salty breeze surrounding your favourite place. “I’ll never forget you. I’ll carry your love with me, always.” 

Then he adds with a sob wracking through his body, “I love you too.” 

As he sits in the lighthouse, Lando no longer waits for your return. Yet, he feels your love enveloping him, every word of the note etched into his heart. Though you may be gone, your presence lingers, filling the space around him with warmth and tenderness. In that moment, he finds solace in the memories of your love, knowing that you'll always be with him, no matter where life takes him.

Taglist: @lochnoch @llando4norris @monsieurbacteria6 @namgification @lilymurphy03 @sargeantdumbass @hiireadstuff @racingheartsposts @d3kstar @xjval @namjoonswaifu @isabellewinchester @thedecalcomania-blog @casperlikej @khaylin27 @mlioravanfleet @mehrmonga @nikfigueiredo @wonnou @jointhehunt67 @sya-skies @dreamingonbed @oliviah-25 @heylookwhoitis @unabashedkoalawasteland @inejghafawifesblog @poppyflower-22 @charizznorizz @booksandflowrs @f1ln4dr3cl16mv33 @randomnessis-mine-me @whatever7justchillin @kagome45 @doofenshmirtzevil-inc @timmy-wife1 @writtenbykirs @lew444 @kansas-kisses @barackosteaa @hellof-1 @itsbwokenln4 @nixily @reengard @candyeollies @customsbyjcg-blog @heeseungthel0ml @sweate-r-weathe-r @mattymybeloved @saturnbloom77 @ltotheucyy @ironmaiden1313

[ddarker-dreams]

I'm clutching on the bars rn pls give us more bf blade content before I explode

I GOTCHU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm joining you in rattling the bars of my enclosure .... bf blade is making me feel Things ... .

warnings: fem reader, not sfw implications

While changing into a new shirt, a deep voice drawls your name. 

Your heart jumps in your chest. If it weren’t for the recognizable timbre, you may have shrieked. It’s a small blessing that you’ve been spared this indignation. Huffing, you turn on your heels, pulling down the bunched-up fabric to cover yourself. 

“I thought you promised to stop jumpscaring me,” you chastise. 

The jumpscare in question — Blade — fixates on your previously exposed midriff. You note how his eyebrows pinch together, though you’re unsure what to make of it. He doesn’t acknowledge your comment. Not even with what Silver Wolf’s decreed his ‘limited NPC dialogue’ (a grunt, hum, nose exhale, or the occasional chuckle, solely procured by your antics). 

“Lift your shirt,” Blade requests. 

“Eh?” You stare at him like he has three heads. “Sorry, I’m waiting until marriage for that.” 

He gives you an unimpressed look. 

“Fine, fine, whatever,” you grumble, acquiescing to the strange demand, “And they said romance is dead…” 

Blade kneels onto one knee. Before you can reiterate the marriage comment was a joke, his gloved fingers hover over the sides of your hips. The leather is cool against your rapidly warming skin. Once you overcome your initial confusion, you consider his countenance. He’s frowning, his eyes playing host to emotions you can’t quite place. His thumb rubs circles into the skin, softly enough to be mistaken for a ghost’s kiss. He appears to be in deep thought. 

You’re rendered speechless — a most commendable feat. 

“These bruises,” Blade murmurs, his voice hollow and haunted, “Did I…?” 

Realization crashes into you like a meteorite. 

You yank the fabric down. “Well, uh, yes, but—” 

(He goes pale as a sheet, further increasing the urgency behind your words). 

“—It’s okay! You didn’t— it wasn’t— I didn’t mind,” you reassure. Clearing your throat, you continue, fighting against the embarrassment scorching you alive. “If anything, I… was into it, so…” 

You watch his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows thickly. His arms fall limp to his side as he mulls over what you’ve said, clearly unwilling to accept it at face value. Uncertain of what else to do, you join him on the ground, sitting on your shins. You take his face in your hands, brushing aside his bangs that’d obscured his eyes. His hair’s silky smooth, thanks to your products and insistence on combing through the knots. 

“Hey, old man,” you hum. “All that frowning’s gonna make you look your prehistoric age. You don’t want some young, dashing whippersnapper to steal me away, do ya?” 

Blade scowls. Smiling softly, you boop him on the nose, to which he scrunches it up. 

Your voice takes on a more serious cadence. “You didn’t hurt me. You could never hurt me. I trust you, so… trust me on this, okay? Just this once?” 

It’s gradual. He relaxes his shoulders, then the taut muscles of his face, basking in your closeness. He leans into your touch, reminding you of a stray cat that’s steadily being domesticated. You let the silence linger for as long as he sees fit. Eventually, his gaze meets yours. 

“... It’s a dangerous game you play, girl.”

I’m dangerous, the insatiable hunger in his eyes screams. I long to devour you, mind and soul. 

To this, you grin. 

“It’s a good thing I’ve already won, then.” 

[gay-dorito-dust]

May I please request any comfort fluff with Jiyan from Wuthering Waves if you're open to those requests?🙏😔 I need bro to comfort me

‘Are you okay?’

‘I’m sorry?’ You asked, looking up to see Jiyan stood over your seated form with conceding lacing his golden eyes.

‘Are you okay?’ He repeated, sitting down next to you, ‘you’ve been acting differently as of late and I feel as though there’s more to it than just a shift in personality.’

You chuckled humourlessly, the jig was up and you knew it but were too stubborn to accept help from anyone, especially from one who had more important matters at hand than your slight decline in mental health. ‘It’s nothing, honestly, I’m just a little-‘

‘Tired?’ Jiyan cuts you off and suddenly your throat felt drier than a desert and he must’ve known that he caught you in your one lie as he levels you with a stare, leaning slightly towards you. ‘How often have you used being tired as an excuse because people in your past have proven themselves ill equip with handling a difficult situation, despite saying false promises of being there for when life gets hard.’

‘Way too fucking often.’ You replied. ‘It’s like they were only in my life to take something from me, why? I’ll never know because they’re all gone and fucked off, like they didn’t just tore my souls to shreds snd left me to pick up the pieces.’ You concluded and it wasn’t until then did you realise that you had started to cry when Jiyan wordlessly wiped one away with his thumb.

You had let your guard slip, the one thing you’ve promised yourself to never do again in the presence of another person due to how they made it all about them; not to mention how they gone on about how suddenly they couldn’t handle your baggage before ghosting you completely whenever you tried to reach out to them again. You didn’t deserve that type of treatment and you know it, but you’ve less yourself to believe that their reaction will be how others would perceive your situation, and so you never bothered reaching out for help and instead letting it bottle up inside until you cracked.

‘I’m sorry.’ You gasped as you began to violently wipe away at your eyes when Jiyan held your wrists in his hand and brought them away from your face.

‘Don’t apologise,’ he started, ‘never apologise for your own emotions nor the people who’ve made you believe that others would turn a blind eye to your plan, for that is simply not true, but I understand that this is a hard mentality for one to unlearn after so long.’ Jiyan wasn’t well versed in comforting others, seeing as how he spent most of his life in the frontlines of the battlefield as both a medic and general, but that didn’t stop him from recognising that a misdeed had been committed against you and that he wouldn’t allow; So for you, jiyan would try his best to provide comfort that you needed.

‘Oh yeah? And who’s going to change that then you?’ You scoffed.

‘Yes.’ Jiyan answered without hesitation and a seriousness you’ve only ever seen in battle and that alone had you choke on your own words.

‘Why?’ You asked, looking into his eyes in hopes of getting the answer you wanted, you wanted to look for a lie within his eyes but his eyes only told you that he was being genuine with his words.

‘I want to prove that if there is one person who’s willing to shoulder your burdens with you, it’s me.’ He tells you. ‘I will not allow you to suffer alone during you’re in pain. So please, allow me to lend you aid in these difficult times.’

You stayed silent for a bit and Jiyan thought that he may have overstepped a boundary or two but his own worries were put to rest when you gripped onto his hand just as he was about to pull away. ‘If it’s not too much trouble for you.’

‘I wouldn’t have suggested such if it was, which it isn’t.’ Jiyan cuts you off softly.

‘Then I guess it couldn’t hurt.’ You said, slowly beginning to grow hope for this seemingly small promise.

[actiniumwrites]

hii may i request a hurt/comfort scenario with kazuha and alhaitham where reader feels insecure about their looks >< no need to specify what they feel insecure about specifically but they just don’t think they’re pretty enough for charac !!!

worthy

synopsis: you don’t feel good enough for them. they beg to differ.

characters: kazuha, alhaitham x gn!reader (separate)

warnings: hurt/comfort, angst to fluff, insecurity, crying, some humor, not proofread

notes: thanks for the request, anon! hopefully you enjoy this, i really liked how kazuha’s turned out. alhaitham was so difficult to write for this prompt though 🥲

Kazuha:

You don’t know when it started. When, one day, your brain decided to make the shift from feeling the luckiest in the world to feeling utterly trapped. Maybe it was the way people looked at him, or maybe it was the way you never felt deserving of him in the first place, but either way, it didn’t matter.

It started in little things. Most days it just consisted of you wallowing in your reflection anytime you caught a glimpse of it. A passing moment of painful recollection that makes you feel less than deserving of him.

“Are you alright?” your boyfriend blurts out randomly. It isn’t like him, you think. Kazuha has never been the type of person to waste his words so suddenly without thought. His words are usually sugar coated and flow gently in the wind so as to not evoke harsh emotions.

The question makes you visibly pause. Quietly, you clasp your hands together to stop them from the inevitable shaking. Your shoulders seem to droop a little further and he hates the way your bottom lip dips into a depressing tremble.

“I’m sorry,” you exhale defeatedly, bringing a shaky hand up to cover your mouth.

“What for? I don’t believe you’ve done anything wrong,” his gentle white brows furrow. You hate how concerned he looks. Couldn’t he just be angry for once? At least then you wouldn’t feel so insane.

You bury your face in your hands, trying to shield yourself from not only him, but the entire world. It constantly feels like you have prying eyes on you, tearing apart each and every feature on your body. And, just as you predicted earlier, the tears you’ve become long acquainted with begin to make their way to the forefront of your eyes until they’re too heavy to hold.

Kazuha gently pushes your hands aside, instinctively placing them in your lap so he could wipe away your sadness. Still, you hang your head against your aching chest and let the pain seep out through your voice, “Don’t you hate it? The way I look? Doesn’t it bother you?”

“Bother me? No. Of course not. I love everything about you. I could gaze into a thousand sunsets and the view still wouldn’t be as alluring as you are. There is no amount of stars in the beaming night sky or the deep red of fresh autumn leaves that could compare to you. Every time my hand aches to write a piece of poetry, it longs to write about you.”

You bashfully look away, trying to hide the smile appearing through your frown as you gaze out into the field next to you. Tenderly, Kazuha tilts your face back toward his as his ruby red eyes stare intensely into yours. You look back and forth between them before laughing quietly through your tears.

He hums proudly, shaking your shoulder a bit before leaning in to place a quick kiss to your lips, “and don’t try to deny it. You know every word I speak is nothing but the truth. I would never lie to you, honestly.”

Your eyes soften as you look at him, understanding now that your boyfriend is right. You’ve read his writing enough to know that whatever Kazuha found to hold truly beautiful was indeed actually beautiful. Because, in a world full of subjectivity, his word is like the law.

Alhaitham:

Alhaitham is practically flawless in all ways. It’s something you’ve realized long before you began dating him — began being friends, even. Aside from his harsh personality, he’s handsome, intelligent, a good leader, and so much more.

It makes you question why he’s even with you. Most of the time, you only joke about it with him and sometimes he even laughs about it. But there are the times where it isn’t just a passing comment or silly thought in the back of your mind, but rather, a growing virus that spreads a dangerous, lingering toxin throughout your body.

“Is something the matter?” Alhaitham nudges your shoulder quietly from beside you. He’s nice enough not to embarrass you in front of the group, shockingly. Despite being his partner, he didn’t often spare you of his “cruelties.”

Your eyes snap to his and out of the faraway place of insecure thoughts you were trapped in for a moment. Silently, you nod and return to listening to the group of people presenting a project to Alhaitham for approval at the Akademiya. His eyes continue to linger on you for a second, not buying any lies you might make up to make it seem like you’re okay. As apathetic as he may be, Alhaitham has indeed found a place in his heart to care about you.

But you can’t help but feel insecure as you watch them. All of them are so attractive and everyone in the room looks so drawn to them, eager to get a word in after. It makes you wonder what Alhaitham even sees in you. A man like himself, he could have anyone in the world.

“I could.”

“What?” your head snaps to him in terror, whispering a little too harshly, “did I say that out loud?”

“No. I can read minds, so I know what you’re thinking,” your boyfriend says blankly. You stare at him in sheer panic before the tiniest of smiles breaks out on his face, “I was joking.”

You frown and shove him ever so slightly away from you, “Yeah, well you sure have a funny way of showing it.”

Alhaitham takes one step closer to you than he had before, assuming the position he was in before you pushed him away. Only this time, he gently loops his arm with yours, something he only does when he feels a little more like showing affection. He isn’t the most physically affectionate, but you know what he means by it.

“I’m serious. I know that look on your face,” he whispers from next to you before turning to actually face you, “I could have anyone in the world, so why do you think I chose you?”

“Out of pity? I mean, look around us. I’m not exactly the best looking here,” you mumble, attempting to fight off the growing lump in your throat. So maybe Alhaitham isn’t so perfect, because you sure as hell hate the way he shows comfort.

He sighs irritated, “No, you idiot. Pity is a form of emotion I’ve never felt for anyone, not even you. You’re above the rest of them, so don’t doubt it for a second. If you weren’t, I wouldn’t be standing here with you right now.”

“You’re so mean, you know? You don’t have to put other people down just to make me feel better,” you say, fighting a smile. He really should’ve taken a class on human emotion back in his scholar days.

Alhaitham turns away from you now, facing the presenters and ignoring your defense against his words, “I only speak truthfully. You are the only person in all of Teyvat that I want. You can choose to believe it or not, but that’s factual information.”

He’s right. Alhaitham hates lying because he sees no point in it. It’s something he’s told you a thousand times, maybe even more.

“Will you say it then?”

You still don’t believe him anyway.

He quirks a brow, “Say what?”

You hold onto his arm a little tighter, afraid he might slip away from you. That bit of doubt still lingering in your mind, “That you think I’m…you know…?”

Alhaitham sighs but gives in regardless. Staring you dead in the eyes with no room for any semblance of a lie, he whispers quietly, “Yes, I think you’re the prettiest person in all of Teyvat.”

[stargirlinterludefr]

1 STEP FORWARD, 3 STEPS BACK: Rafe Cameron x fem!reader

Based off of the song 1 step forward, 3 steps back by Olivia Rodrigo

TW: Toxic relationship, emotional & verbal abuse, drug usage, references to sexual relations but no smut, addiction, heavy angst, small amount of fluff, guilt tripping for not having sex (I do NOT condone any of this, you should never be made to feel guilty if you don’t want to sleep with someone!), Rafe being an arsehole

Word count: around 3,500

‘Called you on the phone today

Just to ask you how you were

All I did was speak normally

Somehow I still struck a nerve

You’re laid down on your front, hand mindlessly plucking at your lilac coloured blanket as your other hand holds your phone close to your ear, waiting for your boyfriend to answer your call.

“Hello?” Rafe’s deep voice rings through the other end, cutting out the ringing sound that you’d been listening to whilst waiting on an answer.

You smile softly, “Hey baby, just thought I’d ring, not heard off of you in a few hours.” You say, still plucking mindlessly at your blanket as Rafe sniffles down the phone before he answering.

“Uh yeah, been busy with Barry sorry, what’ve you been up to?” He asks, and while deep down you know he’s distracted and probably doesn’t even care about what you’ve been doing as long as you’re not out flirting with other boys or…out doing anything at all.

“Barry? I didn’t realise you were hanging with him today, is he doing okay?” You ask sweetly, kind nature shining through despite how much you disliked Barry for continuing to get Rafe involved with dealings.

“Why you sound so mad about me hanging with Barry, huh?” Rafe snaps back and your heart plummets to your stomach as you pause your mindless ministrations on your blanket.

“Wha- I’m not mad, baby, I was just asking-“ You start but you don’t have the opportunity to finish as Rafe is quick to cut you off.

“Well fucking don’t! I don’t wanna deal with your bitchy attitude, it’s like you- you’re judging me or something so just cut it out a’ight? Get enough of that from my fucking dad, didn’t know my girl would be all up in my business to.” He says, voice agitated and slurred making it clear to you he’d been snorting up lines like there was no tomorrow.

You stay still in your place, eyes laced with tears that were on the verge of falling if you didn’t swallow the lump in your throat.

“What, you gone mute or something?” Rafe snaps and you jolt slightly, clearing your throat as you answer.

“M’ sorry.” You mutter, voice strained and quiet as though he’d zapped every inch of energy and happiness from you in a matter of seconds.

“Yeah, yeah whatever.” He scoffs, the sound of beeping ringing through your speaker signifying that he’d ended the call and as you slowly lower your phone from your ear, silent tears stream down your face and instead of picking mindlessly at your blanket you bury your face into it.

You got me fucked up in the head, boy

Never doubted myself so much

Like, am I pretty? Am I fun, boy?

I hate that I give you power over that kind of stuff

Parties had become something you dreaded immensely.

Rafe would usually leave you as soon as you arrived, seeking out people to sell his stuff to and snorting so many lines of it that you’d be left to deal with either his raging temper or his raging boner.

Despite that fact, you made sure you looked your prettiest each time. At the start of your relationship, Rafe showered you in compliments each time you’d get all dressed up but now he’d simply complain about how long you took and then he’d go flirt with some other look or touron making you seriously question whether you were even pretty enough anymore.

And at this particular party? You felt the burning pit of insecurity like it was etched onto your skin.

You were sat beside Rafe, two other kook girls across from you who were alongside Kelce and Barry.

Rafe was pouring out some coke from a small baggie, organising it into lines as he glanced toward you briefly.

“You want some?” He asks, pupils blown as wide as spaceships.

“No, I’m okay.” You say immediately, you’d never wanted to indulge in things like cocaine as you’d drawn the line at weed and alcohol.

“Oh my god, you’re like no fun are you? Live a little, girl.” One of the kook girls hanging off Kelce’s arms says, making the surrounding people laugh in response as their eyes dart to you.

And the worst part? Rafe laughs along with them.

“Alright then.” You mutter quietly, making the same girl holler in excitement as Rafe smiles, gesturing to the lines of cocaine he’d organised.

“All yours, baby.”

And as you sniff up the line of coke, you wonder when you’d let Rafe have so much power over the way you perceived yourself.

‘Cause it's always one step forward and three steps back

I'm the love of your life until I make you mad

The next morning you woke up to a regretful Rafe, the boy showering you with a million apologies for essentially forcing you to do something you’d never been comfortable doing in the past.

You’d assured him it was okay but he still preached his guilt, continuing to spend the remainder of the day spoiling you with a shopping trip and ending it with a walk on the beach.

The day had you feeling hopeful, Rafe had promised earlier on that he’d atleast stop doing cocaine around you so you wouldn’t be forced to.

This was progress…wasn’t it?

The hope you felt quickly diminished when you caught sight of your old friends, JJ and John B.

And JJ would be damned if he didn’t say hello to you, while you never talked much to the Pogues anymore JJ’s loyalty was impossible to extinguish. If the Maybank boy cared about you, he wasn’t ever going to let those feelings diminish.

“Ain’t this a sight for sore eyes?” A voice calls from behind you, making yours and Rafe’s heads whip around as you come face to face with JJ who is lightly jogging toward you both. John B trailing slowly behind as he adjusts two surf boards under his arms.

“How you been, y/n/n?” He asks, head cocking to the side as his messy blonde hair moves softly with it.

You open your mouth to speak but Rafe quickly cuts you off, hand tightening on your own “She’s good.”

JJ’s face immediately drops as he narrows his eyes, “Don’t think I was asking you, bro.” He says dryly as Rafe clenches his jaw.

“You gonna answer then?” Rafe spits out, making you look at him with pleading eyes, knowing by the look on his face that he was going to end this in a fight with you.

He simply gives you a glare and you turn to JJ, eyes not daring to meet his.

“Uh yeah, I’ve been good, you?” At your words Rafe lets out a scoff and you bite your lip anxiously, praying to whatever god that whatever has him mad will be resolved quickly.

“You know me, I’m always a’ight, you should uh come by the Chateau soon so we can catch up with ya…we’ve missed you.” JJ says, eyes trained intently on you as he ignores Rafe’s looming presence.

“Yeah, that sounds real nice.” You say, smiling softly and before you can say anything else Rafe is tugging you away.

“Yeah, real good to see you JJ, always a fucking pleasure!” He shouts sarcastically, ignoring how the blonde boy calls out your name when John B finally makes it to his side. You send an apologetic smile over your shoulder as Rafe’s hand detaches from your own.

“That sounds real nice?” Rafe parrots your words, eyes wild with anger as he scoffs to himself continuing his rapid walk back to the truck.

“What else was I supposed to say?” You ask desperately, running slightly to keep up with Rafe’s fast paces as he refuses to slow down for you.

“Rafe!” You call out when he doesn’t respond, the two of you now all but five meters from his truck.

That’s when he spins back to face you, face scrunched in anger as he points at you.

“I’ll tell you what your fucking problem is, y-you can’t be happy with what I’m giving you so you put on the sad kicked puppy act when Maybank is around for what? Huh? You fucking him or something?” Rafe shouts in anger, now towering over you as you all but freeze in your place.

“What? No I’m not fucking Jay, Rafe. I haven’t seen him in months, ever since you told me to stop hanging round with my friends!” You say, voice trembling as you attempt to hold back tears of frustration not missing the way Rafe’s eyes flash with more anger.

“You might as well be fucking him, you got nicknames for him and shit?” He states mockingly, letting out a dry laugh when you go to correct your mistake as a force of habit from your childhood, he spins back toward his truck before you can even respond. “Go hang with Maybank for all I care, prove how much of an attention seeking whore you are.”

Your brows furrow as Rafe rounds his truck, clambering into it as you step forward.

“Rafe?” You call out, listening to him start his truck and rev the engine. You begin walking toward the truck but Rafe reverses so quickly that sand flicks up leaving you to shield your face when he spins the truck around,leaving you stood there.

It's always one step forward and three steps back

Do you love me, want me, hate me? Boy, I don't understand

You receive an abundant of text messages from Rafe later on in the same night as your pacing the small space of your room, nibbling anxiously on your nails.

Rafe 💜: am sory baby

Rafe 💜: Pogue get me soooooo pissed

Rafe 💜: I lobe u so moch ❤️❤️

You let out a groan of frustration at the words, your mind spinning as though you’d experienced whiplash. You didn’t know how to keep up anymore, you didn’t understand.

No, I don't understand

You: I love you too 🤍

And maybe in some masochistic way

I kinda find it all exciting

Like, which lover will I get today?

Will you walk me to the door or send me home cryin'?

Your sat reading on the dock at the back of your house, one foot dangling into the water when your phone buzzes.

Rafe 💜: coming over.

Your stomach churns with an excited sort of nervousness, mind reeling on how Rafe is going to be today.

His emotional imbalance had made such an impact upon your own that you didn’t know how to feel anymore, whatever you felt was never right in his eyes.

you: okay, on the dock <3

When you hear Rafe’s footsteps drawing closer you don’t dare look up, pretending to be engrossed in your book to see how he would react.

Whether he’d be his teasing normal self that you’d fallen in love with or the coked up angry Rafe that you’d grown to hate.

Rafe steps grow dangerously near and his voice comes along with them, “That book so interesting it mutes your hearing?” He asks, voice boarding on teasing as you look up at him a few meters from you.

You smile and shrug, “It’s a good book.”

Rafe cocks a brow, coming to a standstill in front of you as locks down upon you.

“That good book better than my presence?” He asks, and some part of you sighs in relief at his calm demeanour and undiluted pupils.

“Not a chance.” You say, holding your hands out for Rafe to pull you up and as he does he picks you up into a tight hug and spins the both of you around as you squeal in delight.

It's one step forward and three steps back

I'm the love of your life until I make you mad

It's always one step forward and three steps back

Do you love me, want me, hate me? Boy, I don't understand

“Come on baby, please.” Rafe pleads with you, hands tugging at the waistband of your pants in the country club bathroom as you give him a pointed look.

“Not here Rafe.” You say softly as he groans, head on your shoulder.

“We’ve done it here before.” He says in response, lips suckling on your neck as you laugh, gently prying him away from you.

“Yeah, when we weren’t at a business party with your father here.” Rafe then stands to his full height, his jaw ticking and your stomach immediately drops at the quick shift in demeanour.

“My father’s never seemed to bother you before.” He says, referring to the abundant amount of times the two of you have fucked in the house while Ward was just downstairs.

You sigh softly, “We’re at a business party, baby, I promise when we get home-“

Rafe withdraws his hands from you and runs one through his bangs, “Whatever.” He mutters, moving swiftly toward the bathroom door as you reach out for him.

“Rafe, talk to me, what’s wrong?” The boy in question turn his head and rolls his eyes.

“What’s wrong is my girl is more interested in my father than me.” He says simply, shrugging as he goes “I didn’t even wanna fuck anyway, you make it to much work.”

And like a child who’d been refused his favourite toy, Rafe leaves you stood there swallowing the all too familiar lump in your throat.

No, it's back and forth, did I say something wrong?

It's back and forth, goin' over everything I said

It's back and forth, did I do something wrong?

It's back and forth, maybe this is all your fault

Instead it's one step forward and three steps back

Rafe had been giving you the silent treatment since you’d gotten to Tanny hill, only exchanging a grunt in response to you when you placed a kiss to his head as you sat beside him.

Your mind was raking over whatever it is you’d done wrong as you sit on his bed, anxiously waiting for him to come off of the phone to see if he’d talk to you.

You’d be a fool to yourself if you said this wasn’t a regular occurrence, Rafe constantly gave you the silent treatment in response to something.

And then he’d act like you were stupid for thinking such things.

You’re mind couldn’t pin point a thing you’d done wrong nor could it pin point anything you’d said wrong.

You should know by now that this is Rafe’s way, when he’s annoyed at everyone else he takes it out on you. When he doesn’t want to face his own emotions he pushed them onto you so you can face them. Like his own personal punching bag, you should know it’s not your fault yet you feel like it is every time.

When Rafe re emerges from the balcony, he lies down on the bed beside you as you remain sat up trying to find the courage to ask him the question that often leads to him essentially biting your head off.

“Are you mad at me?” You blurt out, turning to look at Rafe who sighs loudly in annoyance.

“Not this shit again.” He groans, rubbing a hand over his face as you fiddle with your fingers.

“I- you just seem quiet today s’all.” You point out and you can predict Rafe’s response before he even says it.

“What? I can’t be quiet now? It’s all good when you wanna be quiet but when it’s me I’m suddenly mad at you?” He asks rhetorically as you shrug half heartedly, avoiding his gaze as he sighs again bringing himself to a sitting position as he places his chin on your shoulder.

“Stop asking me stupid shit, a’ight?” He says and all you can do is nod numbly.

And I'd leave you, but the roller coaster is all I've ever had

As youre walking out of Tanny Hill, face wet with tears due to another screaming match with Rafe, a voice calls out your name from behind you.

You’re quick to wipe your cheeks when you realise it isn’t Rafe, it’s Sarah.

You turn, forcing a smile onto your face as she approaches you, and by the look on her face you know she heard.

“Hey Sare, everything good?” You ask, voice hoarse due to the amount of shouting and crying you’d done.

“I should ask you that, are you okay?” She says softly, brown eyes so kind that your heart nearly breaks to think of how much anger her brother’s blue ones hold.

“You heard, huh?” You ask, watching as she nods, “Look, he- he’s just had a long day and-“

“Y/n, he’s always either had a long day or he’s had a fight with our dad, that doesn’t justify the way he treats you.” She states, deja vu hitting you remembering the similar conversation the two of you had but in that conversation she’d been cautious with what she’d said to you but it was obvious now that caution had gone out of the window.

You stand silently, biting your lip as you look at your former friend “But he loves me.” You whisper, as if that justifies anything.

Sarah’s face breaks out in so much empathy that you swear you can hear both of your hearts break, “Love isn’t supposed to be that hard.” She says and you suck in a harsh breath, “He does love you but…not in the way you deserve.”

Tears roll down your cheeks once more as you respond, “How am I supposed to know what I deserve? I’ve never known anyone else’s love apart from his.”

Sarah immediately brings you into her arms, hugging you so tightly that you have no choice but to let yourself fall into the embrace.

Yeah, it's one step forward and three steps back

Do you love me, want me, hate me? Boy

I don't understand

You and Rafe sit silently together at one of Rose’s infamous parties, your eyes trained intently on both Sarah and John B as the Routledge boy spins her around whilst watching her with such a lovesick expression that it makes your stomach churn.

You don’t think Rafe has ever looked at you in such a way.

Not even Ward argued with the fact that Sarah was dating a Pogue, JB was so fiercely in love with his daughter that everyone with eyes could see it. He worshipped the ground she walked on making you come to realisation that Rafe had never been that way with you.

Your head turns to said boy as you speak up, “Do you love me?” You ask, making Rafe slowly turn his head toward you in return, the motion slow due to how high he is.

You don’t think he’s been sober properly since you got together, and you know he won’t be sober any time soon.

You’d helped him in every way you could, he threw it all back into your face.

He needed to figure his shit out for himself now.

“You really asking me stupid shit again?” He asks harshly, yet this time, you don’t waver in your response and you chose to ignore the lump in your throat.

“It’s a simple question, Rafe.” You state calmly, eyes twinkling with such a small amount of hope for whatever thread is hanging on in yours and Rafe’s relationship.

Rafe simply stares at you, as though he can’t bring himself to say the words he’s always eager to say when he wants to get you into bed.

You nod, hope dying out as the thread finally snaps and you unlatch the necklace he’d given you, signifying you breaking free of the prison he’d had you in for over a year.

“I hope you get better Rafe, but I don’t think you’re ever going to do that when you’re with me, I don’t want to be the thing that takes on all your shitty emotions…you need to face them for yourself.” You say, gently prying apart his clenched palm and placing the necklace there before you stand up.

Rafe is quick to follow, calling out for you as you walk away, ignoring the multiple gazes on you and the attention drawn toward you at Rafe’s desperate shouts.

Somewhere in the crowd, Sarah and John B watch with small smiles, happy you’d finally made the first step for yourself.

No, I don't understand

Two weeks later and you’re sat on the front porch at the Chateau, hair flowing softly in the morning breeze as you watch the sunrise.

Rafe had been non stop texting you during the duration of your split, words of love and hatred that you still couldn’t begin to understand no matter how hard you tried.

You did come to the realisation that he’d never even allowed you to understand him, despite how hard you’d tried.

He’d attempted to come to your house but you’d made the wise decision to crash at John B’s, rekindling your friendship with the Pogues as they welcomed you with open arms. Eyes filled with immense guilt for not realising how bad things had gotten with you and Rafe but also with so much love that you’d felt overwhelmed, you didn’t realise such love still existed.

You smile softly to yourself, eyes dancing over the colours coating the sky and you decided things would be okay.

You’d be okay.

[inevesgf]

SKI TRIP .. part two ⠀,⠀ chrismd.

synopsis ✩ you and chris hate each other, but a ski trip and some forced proximity changes everything. after waking up in his arms, the hatred seems to simmer as the tension begins to grow.

warnings: gn!reader, in detail injury, series

authors note: guess who’s back??!? i’m back with the HIGHLY requested part two of the skip trip series! after graduating, i now have some time of my hands to feed the chris girlies. part three in the making, I PROMISE. for you @imredjack xx

the day ahead called for an awkward one — the air seemingly more tense than before. the room was quiet as you two got ready for the day. the only sound filling the room one of hoziers voice as music played faintly over the speaker you had brought with. chris had taken his time getting ready and didn't open his mouth to rush you when you did the same. it felt weird; chris not being at your throat. you couldn’t help but miss his attitude — to you, it was much better than the painful silence. instead of feeling small in chris’ presence, you now felt awkward. the thought of his warm arms tangled around your body as you slept haunted you at the back of your mind. you wondered if it bothered chris the same — the silence being the only way he could cope with his anxiousness. you knew it was better to pretend it didnt happen as you attempted to shove the thoughts away. "d'you want to go get breakfast?" his jersey accent spoke over the music, breaking the silence, which made you jump a little. "uh," you hummed, setting the brush down you used to comb your hair, "yeah, that would be nice." chris flashed you a half smile which you assumed to be fake; half - assed.

as you finished getting dressed, you still tried your hardest to shake the thoughts away. it wasn’t only you that felt that awkward feeling, though — you could sense it from chris as he fixed his hair in the mirror next to you. “are you ready?” he spoke softly before turning to face you. you examined his face for a bit, searching to find what emotion he was feeling. the air around you felt tense, but not with distaste like it was before; this time it felt more calm. you searched his green eyes for some form of discomfort in his position, but you couldn’t seem to read them. “you okay?” he asked; he had noticed you had been starring at him blankly for a few, long seconds. “i, uh— sorry. yeah, i’m all set.” you flashed a smile at him, the awkwardness you had created setting in. chris grabbed his hoodie, slipping it over his head before he made his way over to the door. you followed shortly behind him, slipping out the exit of your hotel room as he held the door open for you.

it had seemed the others were utterly hungover today. not showing up to breakfast, you had assumed george, the two arthur’s and harry had a more exciting night than you did. you and chris went through the breakfast line, you only grabbing a small scoop of eggs and a piece of toast — the haunting memory of this morning taking away your appetite. you felt more uncomfortable in chris presence now; you knew he did in yours as well. you assumed chris was just trying to be nice to you, but you disliked this version of him. you missed when he had left you alone, and even if that was days ago, it felt like it had been long gone now.

you sat down at the table, grabbing your fork as you put some eggs onto the prongs. after chewing your bite, you groaned as you noticed you had forgotten some water to wash it down. chris made his way over to the table, two filled cups in hand that you didn’t take note of. you stood up, “i forgot some—“ “water, yeah? don’t worry, i got you some.” chris sat the glass down next to your plate before he sat himself on the chair across from you. you smiled at chris for what you felt like was the first time ever. “thank you — i appreciate it.” and surprisingly chris returned to smile to you. “it’s not a problem.”

after george had taken meds to deal with his hangover, he decided it was another beautiful day to go out. fastening your skis to your ski boots, you pulled down the goggles in front of your eyes. “you think you’re going to be better today?” arthur(tv) teased, tapping you softly with his elbow. you huffed, rolling your eyes at him even if he couldn’t see them. “better than you — yeah.” you jabbed back, knowing arthur wasn’t the best at skiing either. “i think with all those legs, you’re better off snow boarding — you look like a giraffe on skis.” “you are so mean!” arthur seemed to whine, to which chris overheard as he laughed. “they aren’t wrong —“ chris added in, a smile on his face as he found the enjoyment of teasing arthur. arthur found this gesture strange — he used to notice chris had barely ever put himself into a conversation when it involved you. “i am uncomfortable right now.” he stated, looking in between the two of you. “what?” you questioned, confused. “oh, you know.” he spoke, being vague as he fastened his boots. “no, seriously.” part of you pretended not to notice what he meant, but the other part of you wanted to know his opinion on it. arthur eyed chris, giving him a sort of glare that hinted of confusion. all chris did in response was shrug, pretending as if he did not have a clue at what arthur was hinting about. “it’s not big deal, really—“ arthur spoke as you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “alright then—“ you responded. you couldn’t help but itch for an answer, wanting to dig deeper into his thoughts; pulling attention to yourself in that way would be stupid, though. “you know, i think you’re right,” arthur began again, seemingly changing the conversation, “maybe i ought to try and snowboard today, i might be better at it.” his words gained a chuckle from george who had began to pull his goggles over his eyes. “i like your attitude — you’re so positive!” george teased, making arthur slap him on the shoulder. “what?!?” george spoke defensively, “you really think you’d be able to stand up?” “you two fight like married couple — you sure you aren’t gay, george, even a little bit?” chris now spoke, a smile on his face as he made pitty banter with george. “now i’ve got no time for your ‘gay accusations’ — the snow awaits us, king of the north.” george pretended to salute, his words making you laugh as chris pulled his gaze over to you. that stupid smile still remained on his face, and again, you couldn’t help but just smile back.

you hadn’t skied so much since this trip; still trying to gain back your semi-good abilities you had gained last winter. you were able to stand up well, stop yourself when you needed to, and even do small jumps; nothing quite impressive. you spent your time skiing alongside arthur, picking up small talk now and then as chris followed shortly behind, chatting harry up about football. at this point you had lost george — being the better one at snow sports than the rest of you, he was way ahead. “should we try the jumps?” arthur suggested to you, which made you laugh a little at him. “i mean — i can do the jumps — you suggesting you can do it frightens me a little.” a small chuckle escaped your lips as you laughed, letting yourself slowdown with your skis a little, allowing arthur to catch up as he now slowly trailed behind. “you’re so mean to me,” arthur pretended to be hurt, not being able to help himself as he laughed at your words. “we can always try — just don’t want you getting hurt, you know?” you spoke, almost reaching the bottom of the ski slope, chris and harry still following behind. “what is it; do you love me or do you hate me?” he teased, a playful tone in his voice. “it’s a love-hate relationship, mate.” reaching the end of the slope, harry and chris came to a stop with you, “where to next?” harry questioned, pulling his goggles on top of his helmet. “well — arthur wanted to go to the jump path,” chris and harry both laughed at your words, “‘maybe we can just try it out?” harry nodded at your proposal, smiling. “doesn’t sound like too bad of an idea.” he spoke, moving his way along to get back on the ski lift to head back to the top of the hill. you all followed, avoiding other skiers as you made your way to the lift.

the ski resort thankfully had different levels of hills: ones for newer skiers and more experienced ones. wanting to be safe, you, chris and arthur chose the easier one — harry swearing he could do the one for more experienced skiers. “alright, arthur — since this was your idea, why don’t you go first?” chris proposed, arthur looking irritated at his words. “what if i get hurt?” he asked, a bit timid in his words. “oh cmon — it’ll be fine, you weren’t worried about that earlier.” chris responded, giving the boy a little bit of encouragement. with a sigh, arthur decided to go, propelling himself forward with his ski sticks. you watched him as he went down the hill, slowing himself when he got too close to people. choosing the smallest little bump, arthur went over it successfully — you and chris cheering like proud parents. “they grow up so fast.” you laughed, chris returning it. “you think you can do better than him?” he asked, now teasing you once more, this time more friendly than it was days previous. his sudden change in demeanor still made you uncomfortable. shaking off your thoughts, you responded to him. “i mean — i don’t want to brag.” you spoke jokingly, chris raising an eyebrow in curiosity. “i’m sure i can make it over a bigger jump than he can.” chris smirked over at you, pulling his goggles over his helmet to get a better view. “go on then.”

if you could have looked seconds into the future, you would not have taken chris’ words of encouragement. of course, it was your fault in the end; for some reason, you wanted to show off to chris — and it sure would have been impressive if you could have landed on both feet instead of landing your whole body on one. the crunch of your bones was almost audible as your body smacked down onto the snow. you thought it would catch you like a soft pillow, but the surface was almost as hard as rocks. “fuck, fuck, fuck—“ was all you could mumble out, ripping at your gloves to get them off as you cradled your knee like a baby. george, who had seemed to come to the top of the slope after snowboarding down, was the first to come to you. he was worried, his instincts to help you being those of a brother figure. “jesus, are you okay?” he asked a bit panicked, chris now joining his side. chris kneeled down next to you, placing a hand on your back as you shuttered at the sudden touch. “what hurts, hun?” his words made you feel warm: a feeling you never felt around chris, but that was the least of your worries at that moment. “my knee — oh my god.” you winced as george started to slowly roll your snow pant leg up. the area around you knee was red, mimicking your cold, rosy cheeks. it hurt to straighten, and as george helped you, you couldn’t help but start to cry a bit.

you were embarrassed; the thought of crying in front of you friends made you cry more due to discomfort. at this point, george had flagged down one of the guards at the resort, whom of which had brought a gurney to help carry you up the hill. “i can walk — its fine.” your embarrassment started to talk even though you knew walking would have been too painful. “no no — it’s okay. you need help, you can’t walk up by yourself. we need to make sure you’re okay.” chris spoke as you turned your gaze over to him. you couldn’t help but study the nervous and worried expression on his face. to you, chris was hard to read, but in this moment, his emotions acted as a open book.

the rest of the night was filled with unsettled eyes watching over you after the group had brought you to a nearby hospital. the news that you had fractured your knee bothered you. a trip that was supposed to be fun was now interrupted by a poor decision you had made to impress your friends. you couldn’t stop apologizing, but chris and george who had stayed to watch you had told you it was fine. deep down, you couldn’t help but feel ashamed. “alright, we’re discharging you. stay off of your knee as much as you can, and as unfortunate as it may sound, please spend the rest of your time here relaxing.” the doctor spoke, making you sigh. “thank you, i will.” you muttered, a defeated tone in your voice.

the whole way home, chris couldn’t stop berating you with questions. he kept asking if you were okay, if you needed anything, and as nice as it was — it confused you. you tried to rationalize with yourself that chris was just trying to convince himself that you were okay and he didn’t have anything to worry about; you didn’t know why he was worried so much.

the day had exhausted you, so when you got back to the hotel you decided to skip dinner and relax. chris had decided to stay with you, even though you practically begged him to go and have fun. “i just want to make sure you’re alright.” “or you just want to take care of me like a baby.” your tone came out more snippy than it was supposed to, but your irritation with yourself flooded your words. “you think im babying you?” chris sounded offended, defeated even, as he glanced down at you. “no—“ you pushed out, gathering your words as you examined the perfectly wrapped bandage around your knee and the crutches next to the bedside. “i just want you to have fun. you don’t need to take care of me. i thought you hated me.” it was a conversation you needed to have, even if you didn’t want to have it now; something in your body just nagged at you for an answer. you couldn’t help but be confused as to why someone who hated you so much a few days ago had now done a complete 180. “i never hated you.” he breathed out; you could tell he started to worry. “well it seemed like it. why did you act like that towards me?” chris couldn’t seem to come up with an answer, it was like you were speaking a different language and he couldn’t understand. “i’m sorry, i don’t know.” you could hear the remorse in his voice, but it didn’t satisfy your want for answers. “you don’t know? surely theres something: some reason you were such an asshole to me and now you’re all different.”

before he could answer, before words could come out of his mouth, he leaned down and kissed you. it was a spur of the moment action, you knew it was, but you couldn’t help but sink into his lips as he did. it didn’t last long and when he pulled away, you oddly found yourself wanting more. a small, shocked expression was plastered on your face that was easy for chris to read. “does that say anything to you? is that enough?” he now seemed upset like he didn’t want to kiss you, like all of a sudden he didn’t want to be near you again. “yeah.” you spoke, irritated at his tone. “good, because that’s why.” before you could get another word out, chris grabbed his bag and disappeared out of the hotel room door, now leaving you alone. in silence, as the dim light of the moon slipped through the blinds, you reflected on everything. the silence and the moment spoke so loud to you, and you muted it like an alarm as you found yourself falling asleep.

[misshoneyimhome]

「5️⃣0️⃣0️⃣ FOLLOWERS CELEBRATION」

Making up after a break up I Nico Hischier ⚡️🔥🌺5️⃣0️⃣0️⃣

Summary; Nico Hischier is undeniably a gifted hockey player. However, amidst the fame and great attention, he must remain grounded and attentive to those who love and support him.

Tropes & warnings; established relationship; break-up to make-up; Smut 18+; fingering, unprotected sex (p in v), cum inside;

Other notes; Please, don't ask me why reader always has to fight with Nico 🙈 I blame the prompts 🤍 I know, my so-called "angst" is just a poor as my summaries - nevertheless, I hope you enjoy this ❤️

Word count; 4.1K

Taglist; @couldawouldashoulda50 @findapenny@justwanderingbutneverlost @cixrosie

・✶ ｡ﾟ

"I’m sorry, but it’s not like I can control it. It’s part of the job!" Nico's voice was louder than usual, his frustration evident as he stood in the spacious living room, fists clenched at his sides.

The atmosphere in your apartment was thick with tension, as your boyfriend, Nico Hischier, had just come home after the New Jersey Devils were eliminated in the first round of the playoffs. A game where you should have been there to comfort and support him, but tonight, all you felt was anger and frustration.

"Well, you don’t exactly have to encourage it either!" you shot back, your voice rising to match his. The argument was heated, and a part of you knew it was reaching a point where there was no going back. The faces of the women who constantly surrounded your boyfriend were still vivid in your mind, and you just couldn’t push them away and let it go.

"It's not my fault that you’re just jealous," Nico then retorted, his eyes narrowing as he stared at you. You could sense how frustrated he was as well, and both of you sensed that this fight would not end well.

"Oh, I’m sorry that I love my boyfriend and want to spend time with him! Please excuse me for caring!" The words came out sharper than you intended, but you were beyond caring at this point. All the pent-up emotions of the past several months were pouring out, and everything was boiling over.

Your heartbeat quickened with every passing moment, coupled with a high pulse and tears pressing on, yet you were determined not to let them show. You were not going to let him win this. 

But then the words Nico thought, but didn’t intend to speak, blurted out before he could stop them. "Well, maybe it would be a lot easier if I wasn’t your boyfriend then." His expression shifted, hardening.

The room fell into a stunned silence. It felt as if the air had been sucked out of the space, leaving you both gasping for breath as the words hung between you, sharp and final.

"You really mean that?" you asked, your voice now lower and trembling. Despite the heat of the argument, something within you hoped he would take it back, say something to reassure you. But he just stood there, silent, and resolute. So, you took a deep breath, silently giving him another chance to say something, while a tear trailed down your cheek. "Fine," you then finally spoke softly, your voice barely above a whisper. "If that's how you feel, then maybe we shouldn't be together."

Nico's eyes flashed with something you couldn’t quite place—regret, anger, sorrow, or maybe something else entirely. But still he said nothing, and that silence was more painful than any words could have been.

So, without another word said, you turned and walked to the bedroom, grabbing a bag, and stuffing it with whatever clothes and essentials you could find. You just needed to get out, to be anywhere but here.

And as you left the apartment, you glanced back at Nico one last time. But still he was just stood there, looking lost and defeated. But more importantly, he didn't stop you, and that hurt more than anything else.

The next few days were a blur of tears, anger, and regret. You replayed the fight in your head over and over, wondering how it had come to this. You had stood by Nico through everything—the gruelling travel schedule, the constant media attention, the physical toll of his sport. But the jealousy, the feeling of being second to his career and the women who flocked to him, had been too much.

You had tried to rationalise it. You knew Nico couldn't always help the attention he received. He was a professional athlete, a public figure after all, but the way he seemed to bask in it, the way he never turned it down—that had been the breaking point. You had wanted to feel special, to feel like you were the one who mattered most to him. Instead, you had felt like just another fan in the stands, easily replaceable. Like a groupie he’d occasionally sleep with – and even that, he didn’t do with you.

So, as you sat in your new, temporary home, staring at the blank walls, the realisation hit you. Despite the hurt and humiliation, despite how shattered you felt, you still loved him. And that was the most painful part of all.

But for now, you had to focus on picking up the pieces of your life. Maybe in time, things would change. Maybe Nico would come to his senses, or maybe you would find the strength to move on. Either way, you knew you had to find yourself again, to remember who you were without him, and only then could you decide what your future would hold.

_

The months following the breakup were incredibly tough. To be honest, they were horrible. It felt like your heart had been torn in two and clumsily put back together, yet the shattered glass left by the breakup couldn't be hidden. You had to live with the cracks in the foundation, hoping that over time, they’d slowly fade and become less painful. Or perhaps one day, you’d grow so accustomed to the pain that you wouldn’t feel it anymore.

The worst part, however, was that it was nearly impossible to avoid Nico, especially since your social circles overlapped so much. Friends' gatherings and small post-season team events turned into emotional minefields. Every encounter tested your resolve, challenging you to maintain the façade of being cool and collected. And as you tried your best to move on, Nico did the same, each of you masking your hurt with smiles and casual conversations.

Yet, every time you saw him, a pang of sadness struck you, which was even worse when you noticed the regret in his eyes, the way he looked at you when he thought you weren't paying attention, making it clear he was hurting too.

To your great luck though, during the rest of the off-season, Nico then went back to Switzerland, and you thought the distance might help you heal. However, to your own great surprise, his absence only made your heartache more pronounced. The reality of the breakup sank in deeper, and you spent many nights questioning your decision, wondering if things could have been different.

Meanwhile, Nico was undergoing his own transformation. Conversations with some of the other players and their partners opened his eyes to the truth he’d been avoiding. They told him about the worries you’d shared with them months before the breakup, how you’d tried to brush off your insecurities and jealousy but eventually couldn’t bear it any longer. And hearing this from others slowly made him realise just how much he’d taken your love and support for granted and how blind he’d been to your feelings.

One evening, after a particularly enlightening conversation with a teammate’s partner, Nico sat alone in his apartment, replaying the last few months in his mind. He knew he’d been enjoying the attention from the media and fans, perhaps a little too much, and the attention he’d received from women had gone to his head. All the flirtatious looks, the light touches on his arm as they complimented his play—it had made him feel invincible, more important than just a captain to his team, but it had also blinded him to what was truly important—you.

He remembered the countless nights you’d stayed up late to greet him after a game, the way you always had a kind word or a comforting touch, even when you were exhausted from your own long day. He thought about the times you’d been at his side during his high moments and the times you’d held him through the lows. And as he lay alone, letting the memories flood his mind, he realised he’d never reciprocated that level of devotion. He’d been so wrapped up in his career and the attention that came with it that he’d failed to see how it was affecting you.

So, in the weeks that followed, Nico found himself reaching out to friends and family for advice. He spoke to his parents, who reminded him of the values they had instilled in him—humility, respect, and gratitude. They encouraged him to think deeply about what he wanted in life and who he wanted to share it with.

And back in New Jersey, you were on your own journey of self-discovery. You reconnected with old friends, picked up hobbies you had abandoned, and spent time reflecting on what you wanted from a relationship. 

Then as summer slowly turned to autumn, you found yourself feeling stronger and more centred. You began to enjoy your own company and rediscovered passions that had been side-lined during your time with Nico. And while the pain of the breakup still lingered, it no longer dominated your every thought.

_

It all seemed to be going just well, but with the new season just around the corner, the team had organised a big event with partners to celebrate. And naturally, you were invited.

You hesitated at first, unsure if you were ready to face Nico in such a social setting – and single. But after some encouragement from your best friends, you decided to attend. So, you dressed carefully, wanting to look your best and show that you were doing just fine, even if your heart still ached at the thought of him.

The venue was buzzing with excitement, filled with the familiar faces of the team and their partners, all laughing and chatting. With a drink in your hand for comfort, you did your best to mingle and immerse yourself in the event, though it was hard to ignore the knot in your stomach. Especially when you saw Nico walk in with a date, casing your heart to sink. Yet, you forced a smile, determined not to let it ruin your evening.

You tried to act mature and collected, however, you still spent most of the night avoiding him, keeping to the far side of the room whenever he was near. You focused on chatting with friends, laughing at their jokes, and even indulging in a few more drinks to steady your nerves. But as the night slowly wore on, fate had other plans. And as you stepped into the hallway to catch your breath from the loud, wonderful atmosphere, you nearly collided with Nico, coming face close to his chest.

"Oh, hey," he said, looking as surprised as you felt.

"Hi," you replied, trying to keep your voice steady as you stood up straight. 

There was an awkward silence, the air thick with unspoken words between you, with only the cheerful noises of the event in the background humming. But then finally, Nico broke the silence.

"How have you been?" His voice was low and timid, yet you sensed the emotions he was trying to hide.

"Alright, I suppose," you said softly, trying your best not to let the stirring sensation within you surface. But as he just stood there, saying nothing else, and you noticed his date chatting with Timo in the background, you couldn’t help but let out a comment. "But apparently not as good as you…"

Nico immediately caught the direction of your eyes, turned for a brief moment before looking back at you. And it seemed as if that had pushed a button within him.

"Come on, Y/N… I know I said the final words, but you wanted to break up with me," he said, his voice tinged with frustration, as his eyes starred directly into yours. 

"Yes, because I was mad at you, not because I stopped loving you,” you said, more firmly than intended, crossing your arms defensively. The words came out quickly and before you could stop them, your emotions almost bubbling to the surface.

"What?" Nico's eyes widened, a small flicker of hope in his gaze. “You still love me?”

You were slightly baffled by his question. 

"Of course, I still love you..." you then replied, your voice softening as you let out a deep sigh, though unable to hold back the tear welling in the corner of your eye. “Nico, all I wanted was for you to love me… to show me you cared…”

“But I do care,” he quickly responded, almost blurting it out reflexively. Nico just couldn’t hide the fact that he’d been missing you deeply, despite his best efforts through the night. “Y/N, I love you more than anyone… none of them matter to me… I swear…”

And it was in that moment, everything else seemed to fade away. As you both stood there, you slowly came to realise that the feelings between you had never really disappeared. 

But with the defensive walls you’d built over the past couple of months, you tried to walk away to gather your thoughts. You didn’t want to allow yourself to be vulnerable, risking get hurt all over again. However, Nico was quick and grabbed your hand, pulling you back towards him. 

And before you could react, his lips were on yours, the kiss passionate and intense.

You tried to push him away, anger still lingering from the past within. But Nico's grip just tightened, pulling you closer to him. And as much as you wanted to resist the temptation, you couldn't deny how much you had missed him. So, with a sigh, you simply surrendered to the kiss.

You felt a flood of emotions as the kiss deepened, all the hurt and longing pouring out. It was just like coming home after being lost for so long, feelings of warmth and comfort embracing you. And when you finally pulled away, you were both breathless, staring at each other with a mixture of surprise and relief.

"Come with me," Nico whispered against your lips, your breaths mixing in the small space between you. 

“What about your date?” you asked under your breath, still gasping for air. 

But Nico just curved a little smirk at the corner of his lips. “Doesn’t matter – Timo can show her out… you’re more important now…”

And you couldn’t help but simply nod, your heart pounding as you stood so closely with the man, you’d long believed to be the love of your life. “Alright…”

“Let’s get out of here then.”

Nico didn’t even let you breathe and respond to his suggestion. Instead, you both just quickly excused yourselves from the event, following his footsteps out into the cool night air and swiftly into his car. The ride to his place was a blur, both of you eager to be alone as the magnetic force between only grew stronger and more intense by the second. And as soon as you walked through the door to the apartment you once called home, he quickly pulled you into another fervent kiss, his hands roaming your body, desperate to make up for lost time.

And you were equally eager to feel Nico against you. Everything about him felt like comfort and home - his touch so familiar, and the connection between you natural and effortless. So, neither of you wasted any time, your hands moving under each other's clothing, eager to undress and let your skin touch.

Though you had done this so many times in the past, tonight felt different. It was as if you’d fallen in love anew, and this was the first time you were allowing yourselves to feel each other. Yet, everything went by pure instinct. Both of you knew exactly which buttons to push, and before long, you were back in sync; Nico’s lips were attached to yours at all times as you both climbed under the sheets into missionary position, consumed by lust and desire, exploring each other.

And while engaged in a heated kiss, your tongues dancing with one another, your hand found his hardening member, stroking it gently to get it fully hard and ready. Meanwhile, Nico’s skilled fingers found their way to your core, gently caressing your folds and sensitive flesh as he alternated between paying attention to your clit and delicately probing your entrance.

Soft moans escaped you both, humming into the kiss and letting out deep breaths when you needed to part to regain air. The room was hot, filled with the smell of sex, and despite how good the gentle touch of his hand felt, you craved more. And fortunately, Nico didn’t keep you waiting long.

“Oh yes,” you breathed out as he eased two fingers inside you, gently stretching and massaging your walls. It was just as you remembered, the curve of his thick fingers easily seeking out your sensitive spot as he pumped them in and out. And as you felt the pleasure starting to build within you, your hands instinctively sought the back of his shoulders to grab on to for support.

Yet, it still wasn’t enough. Though Nico was skilled with his fingers, there was something you desired more. “Nico, baby… I want…” you moaned softly under your breath, letting the pleasure slowly consume your mind. “I want you inside me.”

However, as much Nico felt his cock pulsating, in desperate need of release, he also wanted to make sure you felt so good before he gave in to his own desires. Just like he always did. 

So, leaning in closely to your face, his breath so near your ear you could feel the shiver it sent down your spine, he spoke huskily, “Let me make you come first.” 

And you couldn’t say no to that.

So, letting him work his magic, you simply allowed yourself to relax into the mattress, your hands still holding tightly onto his shoulders as he increased the speed of his pumps. And at this point, you simply stopped holding back your noises, letting the pleasure take over and closing your eyes as he pushed you closer to the brink of climax.

“Fuck baby… missed your moans so much,” Nico complimented, his eyes intensely watching you squirm and whimper under his touch, your core getting wetter with each motion.

“Mmm yes…” was all you could moan, as the orgasm approached, your toes curling as your mind became hazier.

And as soon as Nico felt your muscles clenching around his fingers, he knew you were close. Knowing just how to bring you to that blissful peak, he scissored his digits at just the right angles, causing you to let out a louder moan and your body to lightly tremble.

"Fuck yes!" you gasped for air as the climax took over. Your walls tightened, sending your mind into a high, your juices spraying just enough to cover Nico’s fingers and hand as you arched your back, savouring the moment the orgasm took hold.

It felt nothing short of amazing. And despite Nico having done this so many times before, this felt heavenly, almost like a drug you’d been addicted to, gone through rehab, and now were back reaching the high you’d been longing for.

And as you lay there, slowly coming down from the high Nico had caused you, you couldn’t help but smile. "Oh… how I missed your touch," you almost cried, a whimper of pleasure escaping as you let out a deep breath.

Leaning over to place a tender kiss on your lips, Nico let out a dark chuckle. "Oh, I’ve missed playing with your body as well, baby..."

There was a momentary pause as he delicately withdrew his fingers, allowing your centre to relax. But with his pulsating cock proudly hard and eager, Nico wasted little time before gently guiding the tip against your entrance and effortlessly sliding himself inside you.

"Oh, yes..." he moaned deeply, savouring the comforting warmth of your inner walls, embracing him snugly as he gradually delved deeper into your depths.

Nico was convinced that your bodies were made for each other. Always had been and always would be. No woman before you had ever felt so seamlessly connected to his own, and he couldn’t imagine sharing this intimacy with any other woman in the future.

Though the position was simple, your bodies moved in harmony, his hips meeting yours with each thrust as moans reverberated and pearls of sweat formed on your skin. There was simply no greater pleasure than this reunion, where heartfelt emotions flowed freely after being pent up for so long.

And when you timidly suggested a change in position, indicating a desire to be on top, Nico swiftly flipped you both over, bodies still intertwined as you established a steady rhythm, rolling your hips as you rode him towards his own climax.

It was sheer perfection. Your hands instinctively found their place on his muscular chest for support, while his palms rested on your hips, gently guiding your movements to increase the pace slightly. And you complied willingly. Sensing your second orgasm approaching, you eagerly quickened your pace, releasing intense, deep breaths as you pressed your knees into the mattress, driving your movements with determination.

And Nico was nearing his peak as well. The tightness around his eager shaft, combined with the sight of your naked form above him and the melody of your moans, propelled him closer with each passing moment. Then acting on pure instinct, he swiftly pulled himself up to a sitting position, capturing your lips in a fervent kiss while his hand found its way into your hair, maintaining a firm grip around your neck. Pressing his forehead against yours, he held your face close to his, sharing breaths as his eyes locked onto yours.

"Never letting you go again... ever..." he growled softly, his climax imminent.

And equally on the edge, you responded with a simple vow. "Never..." you murmured, your hands returning to his shoulders for support as you maintained the intense rhythm.

With his other hand bracing behind him to steady himself, Nico instinctively tilted his hips upward slightly, just enough to stimulate your G-spot and draw a soft whimper of pleasure from you.

"Yes, oh yes... Nico... I'm gonna... gonna come..." you cried softly; your eyes almost unable to stay open as you rocked each other's worlds.

"Ja, schätzi... come for me... come with me now!" he urged, his voice filled with passion.

And it didn’t take much longer for both of you to unleash deep, resounding moans, waves of pleasure engulfing you as you soared into ecstasy together. Like often before, Nico released his cum into your depths, your walls eagerly tightening around his sensitive member, as your juices blended. It was perhaps the most intense orgasm you'd ever experienced, fuelled by the fiery passion and longing for Nico’s touch once more.

As the pent-up tension, anger, and frustrations from months past finally dissipated, you allowed yourselves to remain connected, slowly descending from the peak of ecstasy. It took a moment, the intensity lingering as both of you were deeply overwhelmed, and only gradually regaining control of your breath, your lungs filled with air and your minds cleared, your gaze met in a somewhat hazy stare, and a smile of pure bliss creeping onto your lips.

It was an exquisite sensation. Even as you slowly disentangled yourselves, a sense of euphoria enveloped you, finding solace in the pillow beneath your head as Nico did the same. For several minutes, your eyes remained locked, no words exchanged, the intensity of your passion simply speaking volumes.

And after the fervent lovemaking, you found yourself nestled in his arms, your head resting against his chest, right where you belonged. For the first time in a while, a sense of tranquillity washed over you, while Nico's fingers gently traced patterns on your skin, a serene smile gracing his lips.

"Nico," you then softly broke the comfortable silence. "Are you sure this is what you want?" you asked tentatively, needing reassurance. “To get back together…” 

But Nico had no doubts. Feeling your presence again was something he had yearned for deeply, and now, he was determined never to risk losing you ever again. "More than anything," he replied earnestly, his voice brimming with sincerity. "I know I messed up before, but I won't make that mistake again. I love you, and I want us to be together."

And as you looked up at him, you only saw truth in his eyes. "I love you too, Nico. And I want us to be together as well, but we need to work on this, to make sure we don't fall into the same patterns."

He gently nodded. "I know. We'll take it one step at a time. But I promise, I'll do everything I can to make this right."

And as you snuggled closer, you felt a sense of hope. The road ahead wouldn't necessarily be easy, but for the first time in a while, you felt like you were on the right path. And with Nico by your side, you knew you could face whatever challenges came your way. 

[faithshouseofchaos]

Picture not so perfect memory — Kimi Raikkonen x reader

Angst and Hurt

Word count 4k

I feel like this is missing something but oh well 😭🔪🔪

A couple of months ago

"I can't understand why you're having such a hard time opening up, Kimi," you said, feeling puzzled. Kimi scoffed and rolled his eyes in response. "I don't need to share everything with you, Y/n. Just drop it," he replied, taking a sip of his drink. “Please, don't tell me to drop it. It's obvious that something is bothering you, and I genuinely want to know what it is. Please, just tell me," y/n pleaded.

Kimi slammed his drink on the table and stood up facing y/n” You want to know what’s bothering me y/n? It’s you. You're the one who's bothering me and I don’t want to hear your voice anymore. I'm sick of you talking” Kimi yelled.

Y/n's eyes widened in horror as she gazed at Kimi. The words that had just escaped Kimi's lips left Y/n in disbelief. How could Kimi say something like that to her?

“Fine if you're so sick of my…” voice then I’ll leave,” Y/n said with tears streaming down her cheeks as she walked to their bedroom and began packing a bag. Kimi didn’t follow her, he just sat back down and continued to drink his drink.

As y/n walked away, tears streaming down her cheeks, Kimi sat silently, feeling guilty and remorseful for his words. He tried to ignore the emotions creeping in, taking another sip of his drink. The silence in the room was deafening, and he couldn't shake the heaviness in his heart.

After a few minutes, he got up and walked into the bedroom. He saw y/n packing her bags, her suitcase open on the bed, clothes stuffed in hastily. He leaned against the doorway, watching her silently. “I didn't mean it. Don't leave, please,” Kimi said softly.

Y/n froze, her hands pausing over the clothes in her hands. She turned to face Kimi, tears still streaming down her face.

“You said you're sick of me, sick of my voice,” y/n choked out, her voice tinged with anguish.

Kimi took a step closer, his gaze locked on y/n's.

“Y/n, ”he said, his voice a husky whisper. He cupped her face gently, wiping away her tears with his thumb. “I was afraid, I pushed you away. I'm sorry.”

Y/n hesitated, her heart conflicted. She wanted to believe his apology, but the memory of his cold words still stung. “I’m leaving and that’s final Kimi,” y/n said sniffling and pulling back away from him.

Kimi's face fell, his eyes pleading.

“Please, y/n. I need you,” he said, his voice trembling. He reached out for her hand, but y/n pulled away.

“You don't. You made it very clear that you’re sick of me,” she said, her voice choking. She turned back to her packing, determined to leave. Kimi watched her, his heart aching. He wanted to say more, to apologize, but the words felt inadequate. He stood there, feeling helpless as he watched her walk away. He knew he had hurt her deeply, and there was nothing he could say to undo it.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. Kimi was miserable. He missed y/n, but he had been too stubborn to reach out to her. Every day, he thought about her, wondering if she was happy without him. One night, after a particularly tough race, Kimi sat alone in his hotel room, nursing a glass of Scotch. He couldn't stop thinking about what he had lost. He missed y/n's laughter, her smile, her soft, comforting touch. He realized then, how much he truly loved her.

In a moment of desperation, he picked up his phone and dialed y/n's number. His heart pounded in his chest as he waited for her to answer. The phone rang once, twice, three times, and then it went to voicemail. He hung up, feeling a wave of disappointment wash over him. He took a deep breath and tried her number again, this time leaving a message. “Y/n, it's me. Please, please call me back. I need to talk to you. I miss you. I love you. Please.”

"Hey, sorry I missed your call, just leave a message after the beep"

"Hey, yeah, it's me, just been thinking about everything tonight

And I don't know, I just miss you so much

Give me a call back if you can?"

y/n's pov

Picture-perfect memories

Scattered all around the floor

Reachin' for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore

Y/n's heart sank as she heard Kimi's voicemail. She clutched her phone tightly, her heart aching. How could he say he loved her now after he'd hurt her so deeply? Memories of their time together flooded her mind, the laughter, the joy, the love. And now it was all shattered. She couldn't deny that she still loved him, even now. The urge to call him back was strong, but y/n resisted. She needed time to heal, to understand why Kimi had pushed her away. Despite her anger and heartbreak, she couldn't stop thinking about him. His words, his touch, his smile. She missed him terribly. Instead, she continued sipping on her wine and looked at the pictures that now lay scattered across the floor.

As y/n looked at the pictures, tears welled up in her eyes. Each photo captured a moment of happiness, a memory of their love. She picked up the photos one by one, looking at their smiling faces. She remembered how her heart had fluttered when he first kissed her, how they had laughed together during long drives, how safe she had felt in his embrace. The weight of her grief became too much to bear. She let out a choked sob, covering her mouth with her hand. She missed Kimi, more than she cared to admit. Why had he hurt her so badly? Why hadn't he just talked to her instead of pushing her away?

For a moment, she considered giving in and calling him back, but then she shook her head firmly. She needed more time. She needed to heal, to figure out what she wanted. She couldn't let her heart make the decisions for her, not when it was so clouded with love and pain.

In separate rooms in separate homes, both Kimi and y/n wonder if they crossed each other’s minds. Kimi lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. The memory of y/n’s voice on her voicemail message replayed in his mind. The sound of her voice, which once brought him comfort, now only brought pain. He couldn't help but wonder if she was thinking of him if she missed him too. Y/n, on the other hand, was struggling with the same thoughts. She lay in her bed, her sheets rumpled from tossing and turning. She thought of the way Kimi's eyes crinkled when he smiled, the warmth of his hands, the sound of his laughter. Was he thinking about her, too? Her heart ached for him, despite everything.

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind

For me, it happens all the time

But both y/n and Kimi were too stubborn to reach out to each other again, at least not yet. They needed more time to process their feelings and to understand what they wanted. The silence between them was deafening, but under that silence, their hearts still yearned for each other. Time passed slowly for both Kimi and y/n, their days filled with longing and regret. They tried to keep themselves occupied, to distract themselves from the ache in their hearts, but nothing could fully dull the pain. They often thought about reaching out, picking up the phone, and calling each other, but fear held them back. They became experts at hiding their pain, putting on brave faces, and pretending everything was fine. Kimi threw himself into his racing, channeling his emotions into his performance. Y/n threw herself into her work, trying to drown out her thoughts with tasks and deadlines.

But no matter how hard they tried to bury their feelings, they couldn’t help the occasional glance at each other’s social media profiles. They saw the updates, the smiles, the life continuing without them. It was a bittersweet reminder of what they had once had and lost. As the months went by, the pain didn't fade, not really. It became bearable, yes, but it was still there, a constant presence in their lives. They wondered if they would ever truly move on if they would ever find love again, or if they were destined to be stuck in this limbo, forever longing for each other but unable to reach out.

Despite their efforts to keep their feelings hidden, Kimi's friends and family noticed the change in him. They saw the sadness in his eyes, the way he would drift off mid-conversation, lost in thought. They knew he was hurting, but he refused to talk about y/n, to acknowledge the void in his heart that she had left behind. Similarly, y/n's friends noticed her changed moods and silent moments. They knew something had happened, but y/n wouldn't open up either. She kept her pain locked inside, refusing to talk about the man who still held her heart captive. As they silently struggled, both y/n and Kimi wondered if they would ever find forgiveness within themselves, if they would ever be able to let go of the hurt and find a way back to each other. They missed each other immensely, but their pride and fear of being hurt again kept them from reaching out.

They continued living their lives, going through the motions, but deep down, they knew something was missing. They missed the comfort of each other's presence, the familiarity of their shared life. The memories haunted them, a bittersweet reminder of what once was and what could have been.

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now

Said I wouldn't call, but I've lost all control and I need you now

And I don't know how I can do without

I just need you now

Y/n sat alone in her living room, the loneliness of the night weighing heavily on her shoulders. It was one of those nights when the silence felt overwhelming and the absence of his presence was keenly felt. The clock struck a quarter past one, and her thoughts turned to Kimi, as they often did during these solitary hours. She had vowed not to call him, not to give in to the longing that consumed her soul. But tonight, the desire to hear his voice was too strong to resist. She picked up her phone, her fingers shaking slightly as she dialed his number. As the phone rang, she held her breath, her heart pounding in her chest. With each ring, y/n felt a nervous anticipation. What if he didn't answer? Would he hang up as soon as he heard her voice? The dial tone seemed to stretch endlessly, and she almost regretted dialing his number. Just as she was about to hang up, she heard a click and a familiar voice answered.

"Hello?" Kimi's voice, gravelly and low, sent a shiver down y/n's spine. The sound of his voice was both a comfort and a torment, filling her with a bittersweet mix of relief and longing.

"Kimi," she breathed, her voice barely above a whisper. She didn't know what to say, or how to explain the turmoil of emotions swirling within her. All she knew was that she needed him, now more than ever.

There was a moment of silence on the other end, and y/n wondered if he would hang up if he was as conflicted as she was. But then he spoke, his voice softer than before, tinged with a hint of vulnerability.

"Y/n," he said, his breath catching. "I didn't expect you to call."

Y/n swallowed hard, fighting back the tears that threatened to overwhelm her. She wanted to say so much, to apologize and explain, but all she could manage was a choked "I miss you."

Kimi sighed, and y/n could almost picture him running a hand through his hair, the way he did when he was frustrated or uncertain. His voice was husky when he responded, "I miss you too."

They both fell silent again, the weight of their longing and regret hanging heavily in the air. Y/n wanted to say more, to express the depth of her feelings, but she couldn't find the words. Kimi's breathing was the only sound on the line, a constant reminder that he was there, listening to her, feeling the same conflicted emotions. As the minutes ticked by, y/n's mind raced with questions. Would this phone call change anything? Would it bring them back together? Or would it just make

the pain worse? She didn't know, but she couldn't bring herself to end the call, not when just the sound of his breath made her heart ache with longing.

They talked for hours, their conversation a delicate dance, filled with unspoken apologies and unspoken confessions. They reminisced about the good times, the laughter, and the joy they had shared. They acknowledged the mistakes they had made, the hurts they had inflicted on each other. They skirted around the topic of reconciling, neither of them brave enough to broach the subject. But in the space between the words, they found a fragile peace, a glimpse of hope for a possible future.

Another shot of whiskey

Can't stop looking at the door

Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before

Kimi sat alone in his hotel room, nursing a glass of whiskey. He couldn't help but glance towards the door, expecting y/n to walk in any minute. The memories of her laughter, her smile, and her touch were like a bittersweet melody, playing on a loop in his mind. He knew he had messed up, that he had pushed her away with his cold, distant demeanor. But in the silence of the night, he realized how much he truly missed her. He missed the way her eyes lit up when she talked about her dreams. He missed the way she made him laugh, even when he didn't want to. The whiskey burned his throat as he downed it in one gulp, trying to drown out the ache in his heart. But the pain persisted, a constant reminder of what he had lost. He longed to reach out to y/n, to apologize and tell her how much he missed her. But his pride and fear held him back, creating a barrier between them.

The clock ticked on as he sat in his loneliness, each second feeling like an eternity. He longed for their shared laughter, the warmth of her touch, the intimacy of their whispered secrets. The absence of her presence felt like a gaping wound, raw and throbbing with pain.

"Hello?" Kimi's voice carried a hint of hope and trepidation as he picked up the phone, hoping it would be y/n on the other end.

"Hey," y/n's voice came through the phone, soft and hesitant. The sound of her voice sent a jolt of surprise through him, followed by a rush of conflicting emotions. He was happy she had called, relieved that she hadn't forgotten about him entirely. But he also felt a twinge of guilt, remembering how his distance had hurt her.

"Y/n," he said, his voice filled with longing. He wanted to say so many things, to apologize and beg for forgiveness. But the words caught in his throat, his pride holding him back. He didn't want to reveal too much, to show how deeply her absence had affected him. There was a pause as y/n seemed to struggle with her own emotions, unsure of how to start the conversation. The silence felt heavy, laden with unspoken apologies and unspoken forgiveness. Finally, she took a deep breath and spoke, her voice wavering slightly.

"I don't know what to say," she admitted, her honesty piercing his heart. "I just... I miss you, Kimi. I know I shouldn't, after everything that happened. But I can't stop thinking about you."

Kimi's heart ached at her words, a mixture of guilt and hope flooding his soul. He reached for the right words, the ones that would convey the depth of his longing, but all he could manage was a shaky, "I miss you too."

Y/n sighed softly, the sound filled with both sadness and relief. They were both dancing around the truth, both afraid to address the real reason behind their longing. But the connection between them felt like a lifeline, pulling them closer despite the hurt they had caused each other. They talked for hours, their conversation a delicate dance between longing and caution. They spoke about their lives, their work, their friends, anything but the pain they had inflicted on each other. But in the spaces between the words, they communicated their regrets, their hopes, and their continued love for each other. They didn't discuss reconciling yet, but the possibility lingered in the air like a whispered prayer.

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind For me, it happens all the time

As the night wore on, the phone call between Kimi and y/n slowly came to an end. They hung up, their hearts heavy with a mix of regret and longing. The days that followed were filled with a strange sort of emptiness as if something was missing from their lives.

Despite their attempts to move on, both Kimi and y/n found themselves thinking about each other constantly. The memories of their time together haunted them, whispering what-ifs and might-have-been.

They tried to distract themselves with work, socialization, and hobbies, yet the thoughts of each other would slip in when they were least expecting it. In the silence of their solitary moments, they wondered if they were going insane, caught in a loop of longing that seemed never-ending.

Nights were the hardest, as their minds replayed the moments they had shared, the laughter, the touch, the love. They yearned for that connection once again, but the fear of being hurt held them back. The lingering questions of what might have been gnawed at their hearts, refusing to let go. Despite the passage of time, the memories of their love stayed fresh, like a wound that refused to heal. They found themselves looking at old photographs, listening to songs that held hidden meanings, and visiting places that once held significance. The reminders of their shared past were everywhere, mocking them with what they had once had.

Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, and still, Kimi and y/n remained apart. Their pride and stubbornness, combined with their fear of being hurt again, prevented them from reaching out to each other, even though their hearts yearned for reconciliation. The distance between them seemed insurmountable at times, the longing turning into a constant background hum in their lives.

They watched from afar, secretly following each other's social media updates. Kimi would see pictures of y/n living her life, smiling and happy, and a pang of jealousy would strike his heart. Y/n, too, would see photos of Kimi hanging out with friends, his laughter echoing through the images, and a pang of longing would fill her chest. They would hear stories through the grapevine, about the dates y/n was going on or the girls Kimi was spotted with. These updates would fill them with conflicting emotions - a mixture of jealousy, hurt, and even a flicker of hope that maybe they were both trying to move on.

But amidst the longing and the pain, there was a part of them that couldn't let go completely, a part that still held onto the hope that maybe, just maybe, one day they would find their way back to each other. Until then, they remained in this limbo, caught between the past they yearned for and the future that felt uncertain and distant. They knew they were being stubborn and illogical, holding onto their pride at the expense of their happiness and potential for reconciliation. But the fear of heartache and the pain of the past kept them locked in a cycle of resistance. As the days passed by, the chances of reconciliation seemed to grow smaller with each ticking second.

Despite the emotional turmoil they found themselves in, life had to go on. They continued to live their lives, going through the motions, but always feeling a lingering emptiness that not even success could fill. It was as if a part of their hearts were waiting for the other piece to come back, making every moment bittersweet with the loss of a love they both dearly missed.

They tried to move on, date other people, and find new happiness, but the ghost of their relationship always haunted them. Every touch, every laugh with someone else was a cruel reminder of what they had lost and what they still desired.

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now

And I said I wouldn't call, but I'm a little drunk and I need you now

And I don't know how I can do without

I just need you now

It was hard but eventually, they moved on. Time has this magical way of healing wounds and reshaping perspectives. After months of heartbreak and solitude, Kimi and y/n eventually managed to move on. The pain of their breakup gradually faded into a distant memory, replaced by a quiet acceptance of their separate paths. They found solace in their own lives, embracing new adventures, new love, and new beginnings.

Despite the distance and the passage of time, memories of their passionate love and heartfelt connection remain etched in their minds. They carried with them the lessons learned and the growth gained from their tumultuous relationship. Though no longer together, the impact they had on each other lived on, reminding them of the fleeting but powerful love they once shared.

As fate often has it, their lives occasionally crossed again, at shared events or casual encounters. The old feelings of longing and love would resurface, stirring a bittersweet mix of nostalgia and regret. However, with the wisdom gained from their past, they chose to keep a respectful distance, cherishing the brief moments while remaining steadfast on their separate paths.

The years passed, and they built their own families. Kimi found love again and started a family with a new partner. Y/n, too, found contentment with someone else, building a life filled with love and happiness. Though their hearts still held a tiny corner for each other, they finally found a sense of closure and acceptance, knowing that they had indeed moved on.

They occasionally caught glimpses of each other's lives, witnessing each other's growth and contentment from afar. A small part of them whispered what-ifs, but they knew that their paths had diverged, and their chapter had closed. They both cherished the memories they had created together, knowing that their love, although now history, would forever remain a beautiful and significant part of their lives.

They realized that love, in its essence, carried an inherent risk of pain and hurt. Their relationship reminded them that love was not just about the euphoric highs but also about the potential for painful lows. The beauty of their love lay not only in the happiness they had shared but also in the lessons they had learned from each other. Though their relationship ended in hurt, it served as a reminder of the delicate balance between love and pain, growth and sacrifice.

As they navigated their separate lives, they found strength in the knowledge that even in the depths of hurt, they had loved fiercely and deeply. Their relationship had left an indelible mark on their hearts, forever intertwining them in a shared history that shaped who they were and who they would become. Through it all, they held onto the belief that true love, whether it ended in triumph or tragedy, was always worth the risk.

I just need you now

Oh baby, I need you now

Tagged — @anedpev @67-angelofthelordme-67 @amatswimming @alwayzbeenale @a-casual-romantic @ashy-kit @astraeaworld @bblouifford @bbtoni @badassturtle13 @barcelonaloverf1life @charlesf1leclerc @clowngirlsstuff @crashingwavesofeuphoria @dark-night-sky-99 @dudenhaaa27 @entr4p3 @eugene-emt-roe @embrosegraves @formulas-bitch @formulaal @f1ln4dr3cl16mv33 @hangmandruigandmav @hollie911 @ironcowboycopnickel @jeffs77 @kimiracing07 @lightdragonrayne @lollypop90907 @laura-naruto-fan1998 @moss-on-tmblr @omgsuperstarg @oconswrld @otako5811 @gnatthefly @purplephantomwolf @raikkxz @starkwlkr @swifth0lic @sweate-r-weathe-r @strugglingyetvibing @uluvjay @vellicora @venusisnothere @vivwritesfics

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

oughhhhhhhhh i’m reading the knight!sugu fic again……………………………. maybe . i’ve already hit my peak

[meazalykov]

soft spot (2)

esmee brugts x reader

part two (part one here)

the emotional reader finds happiness again

The first season at Barcelona went fast for Y/n. After joining Barcelona Femení, she gradually found her rhythm, both on the pitch and off. Her initial nervousness about fitting in faded as she formed strong bonds with her new teammates, none stronger than the one she developed with Esmee. 

Despite their clash during the World Cup, and after Y/n’s apology, they became close friends, their connection deepening with each passing month. A few examples were when Y/n scored in her debut against Madrid CFF in September, Esmee was the first to congratulate her as it was a goal in extra time. When Esmee scored her hat-trick against Eibar, Y/n was the first by her side congratulating her. 

The girls hung out all of the time outside of the pitch. Their personalities clicked together like a smooth puzzle. Esmee was shy, more reserved, and relaxed. Y/n was extroverted, yet kind and creative. There wasn’t a weekend (unless there were international breaks) where the duo wasn’t together. Other Barcelona girls took note of this. 

“Y/n, what are you doing this weekend?” Ona said. Y/n turned around at the voice and saw Ona, Salma, and Vicky approaching her. The American smiled at her friends, she had a few plans but she knew she could fit the three Spanish girls into her calendar. 

“Nothing too much. What's going on?” Y/n asked. Salma put her arm around her shoulders, Vicky doing the same, as Ona started speaking– 

“We were thinking about going to the Men’s game against Napoli on Tuesday. Its their second-leg game.” Ona said. Y/n’s eyes widened as she remembered that Esmee and her already had plans to go to that game together. She thought that Ona, Salma, and Vicky were going to ask about something else. 

 “Oh yeahhh– sorry Esmee and I already had plans to go together. You can all join us—I’m sure she won’t mind.” Y/n sighed. Salma and Ona smirked to each other as Vicky patted on Y/n’s back. 

“Y/n—- do you have a crushhhh?” Vicky teases Y/n. The other Spanish girls giggle as Y/n blushed at the question. 

“Noooo I dooo nottt” Y/n dragged out her response in the same teasing tone Vicky did. 

“You’re lying!” Salma’s jaw dropped as the other girls started to laugh even harder, y/n laughing too. 

“Stop it!! You guys can join us on Tuesday, it'll be fun!” Y/n offered, feeling bad that she couldn’t fulfill Ona's plan. 

“No thank you, I don’t want to interrupt your guy’s date!” Ona smirked. All of the girls laughed as Y/n blushed, not denying that it was a date in her mind. 

As the months passed by, Y/n had a high level of anxiety when she realized she was falling in love with Esmee. 

Memories of Jane's betrayal last summer haunted her. She moved on and doesn’t love Jane the same anymore, with the help of her sport’s therapist, but betrayal doesn’t leave the mind of most people. Y/n was terrified of making herself vulnerable again. 

However, she reached out to Ingrid, Mapi, and Ona for help. The three women gave constant reassurances and helped soothe Y/n’s fears. They all spoke highly of Esmee's character, assuring Y/n that she would never treat her the way Jane had. 

Y/n and Esmee spent most of their days together, sharing late-night talks, laughing over shared inside jokes, and supporting each other through the highs and lows of their games. Y/n's heart raced whenever Esmee was near, and she often found herself lost in Esmee's eyes, the fear of vulnerability slowly replaced by a blossoming hope. She hoped that Esmee felt the same love for her.

Now, the Champions League final against Lyon is here in Bilbao. The entire team was abuzz with excitement and nerves, and Y/n felt a mix of both as she took her place on the bench. The girl knew she wouldn’t start, but she assumed that she would have the opportunity to play today since Jona is the coach who wants to give his players minutes. Anyways, Y/n watched the game intently as the minutes passed. Barcelona and Lyon were locked in a fierce battle, and the stakes couldn't be higher.

When Aitana opened up the score, Y/n jumped up and sprinted towards the shorter woman. The entire bench followed her as the ballon d’or winner jumped and celebrated with them.

Later in the 71st minute, Jona called Y/n's name, signaling for her to sub in for Salma. With her heart pounding, Y/n stepped onto the pitch, the weight of the moment pressing down on her. It was her first Champions League campaign, everyone knew that and their eyes were now on her, and the significance of the final wasn't lost on her. 

She drew on the encouragement from her teammates, particularly Esmee, whose support had been a constant source of strength for her this season. Being the first sub in this final drew attention, she needed to contribute to an inevitable win for Barcelona.

Even though Barcelona was up by one, the tension was palpable. Danielle Van makes a mistake which leads to Caroline Graham Hansen making a brilliant run up the right side. Y/n fast feet sprinted to meet her up the pitch, her eyes fixed on the ball. As Caroline approached the box, dodging Bacha’s attempt to block her, she executed a perfect left side pass, sending the ball directly into Y/n's path. 

Without hesitation, Y/n took the shot with one-touch, her foot striking the ball cleanly. The Lyon defenders weren’t fast enough to stop it, since Y/n knew that more touches on the ball would lose her that opportunity. The ball soared into the right-top corner of the net, past the outstretched hands of the Lyon goalkeeper.

The crowd erupted in a deafening roar. Y/n, overwhelmed with joy and disbelief, spread her arms and ran in celebration. The cameras captured her glistening eyes as she ran to the corner closest to the benches.

Her Barcelona teammates on the bench stormed the field, knowing they’re up 2-0 with twenty minutes of the game left. All of the girls and coaches surrounded Y/n in a warm (yet loud) embrace.

Esmee was the first to reach her, wrapping Y/n in a tight hug, her head nestled into Y/n's neck.

"I'm so proud of you, Mijn liefje" (My darling) Esmee whispered, her voice filled with genuine emotion. She knew that Y/n wouldn’t understand her Dutch, which gave her the confidence to say the nickname she gave her. 

Y/n blushed, her adrenaline mingling with the warmth of Esmee's praise. She felt a surge of happiness, her fears and doubts melting away in that moment since the goal gave her the biggest boost of confidence.

The game started again and from the sidelines, Vicky nudged Esmee. "You're still going to confess your feelings to her after the final, right?"

Esmee glanced at Y/n on the pitch, before looking back at Vicky her heart swelling with affection. "If we win, I will."

Everyone on the team knew that Esmee and Y/n were in love with each other. However, they left it to the girls to decide on when they’ll want to confess. The whole team was aware that Esmee will ask her out after the final, little did they know— Y/n had the same plan.

The final minutes of the match were a blur of intense play and mounting anticipation. Esmee came on the pitch which excited Y/n, she knew it was Esmee’s first Champions League final too. She loved Esmee on the pitch with her, as they’re both ⅔ forwards on the pitch that moment.

Ale subbed into the game next and scored the third goal just a few minutes after. This celebration overwhelmed the fans, knowing that Barcelona would win. Y/n held up Alexia’s jersey for the fans after the captain took it off her body. Camera’s captured this site beautifully. 

When the final whistle blew, confirming Barcelona's victory, the team erupted in celebration. Amid the chaos, Y/n and Esmee found each other again, their hearts pounding with more than just the thrill of victory. Y/n wrapped her arms around Esmee’s shoulder as Esmee held hers around Y/n’s waist. 

As they stood together, before the trophy celebration, Y/n took a deep breath. "Esmee– Hi!” she awkwardly said. 

“Hi!” Esmee laughed with Y/n. She looked into the girl’s eyes and saw love and happiness in them. Y/n was the most beautiful thing to her at the moment, even with the Champion’s League trophy a few yards away. Y/n felt the same with Esmee as she placed her hands on the back of Esmee’s neck, where her braids gently fell on them.

“We won!” Y/n pumped her free hand into the air, the one that wasn’t holding Esmee. 

“We are champions!!!” The Dutch girl mimicked Y/n's movements which caused the girls to laugh uncontrollably through the awkwardness. The American realized that she needed to stop holding back from telling Esmee the truth.

“Es– um– there's something I need to tell you." Y/n swallowed. She looked over her right and saw Vicky, Ingrid, and Ona looking at them, they looked away once Y/n noticed their looks. 

Esmee smiled as Y/n looked back at her, her eyes twinkling with anticipation. "Me too, Y/n. You can go first."

Y/n's heart raced, but she pushed through her nerves. "I love you, Esmee. I wish I had told you this earlier. I've fallen in love with you, and I have to tell you, even if you don’t feel the same."

Esmee's eyes widened in surprise, and then she laughed softly, her joy evident as she pulled Y/n closer to her. "Y/n, I love you too. I should’ve said something earlier too."

After the celebrations with the trophy, getting pictures with the trophy with friends and family, and rolling around on the ground with the confetti— Y/n pulled Esmee away into the hallway which led into the dressing room. 

Both girls had the same idea as Esmee turned Y/n’s body around to face her– the girls immediately pulled themselves into a kiss, sealing their love with the triumph of their shared victory.

“Looks like the Champion’s League isn’t the only thing you’ve guys won!” Salma ran into the dressing room and cheered at the sight of her friends in love. She runs beside the couple and starts jumping up and down. 

The couple laughed and started to do the same thing. This is the best ending to a season ever, and y/n was grateful that her soft spot for Esmee blossomed into something more. 

<3

[theodorenmyth]

Hi there! If request are still open, how about Mattheo with M-reader, and reader’s team beat Slytherin in a quidditch game, and he’s worried that Mattheo(who’s on the team) will be upset with him/break up with him, but instead Mattheo assures him he still loves him?

Quidditch Loss

Pairings : Mattheo Riddle x M! Reader Summary : Your team won against Slytherin and you're worried that mattheo will break up with you. A/n : Enjoy (⁠・⁠∀⁠・⁠) Warnings) : teeny tiny lil angst Word count : 818

The crowd roars, a sea of blue and silver filling the stands as Ravenclaw secures their victory over Slytherin. Your heart pounds in your chest, not from the adrenaline of the game but from a creeping dread. You’ve just helped lead your team to triumph, yet all you can think about is the storm that might be brewing with Mattheo.

You soar back down to the pitch, your broomstick steady beneath you, and the cheers of your fellow Ravenclaws are deafening. It’s a monumental win, but you barely register it. Your eyes scan the throng of students, searching for Mattheo’s familiar face amidst the crowd. The Slytherins are dispersing, a mixture of disappointment and anger etched on their faces. And then, you spot him.

Mattheo Riddle stands near the edge of the field, his broom clutched in one hand, his other running through his tousled dark hair. His expression is inscrutable, and your heart sinks. You’ve seen him angry before, but this—this uncertain, unreadable look—is almost worse. Swallowing hard, you make your way over, your footsteps heavy despite the lightness of victory.

“Hey,” you start, your voice wavering slightly. “Mattheo, I—”

Before you can finish, he looks up, his dark eyes meeting yours. For a moment, you’re lost in them, trying to decipher the emotions lurking there. Is it disappointment? Anger? You brace yourself for the worst.

“Good game,” he says finally, his voice steady but low. There’s no hint of the rage you feared, but his calmness is almost more alarming. You know how much winning means to him, how much he wanted to beat Ravenclaw.

“Thanks,” you reply, unsure of what else to say. “You too. You played brilliantly.”

He lets out a short, humorless laugh. “Not brilliantly enough, it seems.”

You take a step closer, closing the gap between you. “Mattheo, I’m really sorry. I know how much this meant to you, and I—I didn’t mean for—”

He cuts you off with a shake of his head. “It’s Quidditch. There’s always a winner and a loser. Today, we were the losers. It’s not the end of the world.”

You’re taken aback by his response. You expected fury, a heated argument, maybe even the end of your relationship. Instead, there’s a resigned acceptance in his tone, a maturity you hadn’t anticipated. But still, you worry. “Are you sure? I mean, I know how competitive you are. I don’t want this to come between us.”

Mattheo’s expression softens, and he reaches out, taking your hand in his. “Look, I’ll be honest. Losing sucks. Especially to you,” he adds with a half-smile. “But it’s just a game. You’re more important to me than some stupid match.”

Your heart swells with relief and affection. “Really?”

“Really.” He steps closer, his grip on your hand tightening. “I love you, alright? Winning or losing a Quidditch game isn’t going to change that.”

You can’t help the smile that spreads across your face. “I love you too, Mattheo.”

He pulls you into a hug, and you feel the tension drain from your body as you relax against him. The roar of the crowd fades into the background, and for a moment, it’s just the two of you, holding onto each other like lifelines.

“Besides,” Mattheo murmurs into your ear, “this just means we’ll have to train harder for the next match. I can’t let Ravenclaw have all the glory, can I?”

You laugh, the sound mingling with his. “I wouldn’t expect anything less from you.”

As you pull back slightly, your eyes meet again, and this time, all you see is warmth and affection. The uncertainty and fear that plagued you minutes ago seem like a distant memory. With Mattheo by your side, you feel like you can face anything—win or lose.

“Come on,” he says, threading his fingers through yours. “Let’s get out of here. We have a celebration to attend.”

You follow him, hand in hand, the weight of the game lifted from your shoulders. The night is just beginning, and there’s a victory to celebrate. Not just on the pitch, but in the strength of your relationship. And as you walk together, you know that whatever challenges lie ahead, you’ll face them together, united by a bond stronger than any game.

As you join your teammates in the Ravenclaw common room, the cheers and laughter are infectious. Mattheo stays by your side, a constant presence, and you couldn’t be happier. Amidst the jubilant chaos, he leans in, his lips brushing your ear.

“Next time, though,” he whispers, “Slytherin’s taking the cup.”

You grin, turning to face him fully. “We’ll see about that.”

He laughs, a sound that makes your heart soar higher than any broomstick ever could. And in that moment, surrounded by friends and the boy you love, you know that no matter what happens on the Quidditch field, the real victory is having Mattheo in your life.

[redrose10]

It took me longer than I wanted, but it’s finally here and I can’t keep editing it and putting this off. This is something I’ve been working on for a few weeks. It’s not exactly how I had planned it in my head, but I guess that’s how it goes. I was going to try something a little different so I do have a spicy bonus chapter that I was going to include as an extra, but I just don’t think I’m good at writing smut so I’m not sure if that will ever get posted. Let me know if you want it though.

Messages and comments appreciated! This is the first time I’ve ever attempted something like this so be kind please.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yoongi black cat hybrid X Female reader

Summary: When your good friend shows up in the middle of the night begging for your help, how can you say no. But what if their request makes you start questioning everything you’ve ever believed in?

Warnings: Physical abuse, sexual abuse, swearing, light smut (nothing too graphic), mention of no consent, mention of death/dying and murder, violence, weapons

Word Count: about 14,800 😯

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Shuffling to your front entrance you felt a range of emotions like anger at whomever was pounding on your door at 3am in the rain and also fear because someone was pounding on your door at 3am in the rain. Taking a peak through the front window the fear disappeared when you saw one of your best friends, Namjoon. However, that fear was now replaced with worry. Namjoon was not the type to be out at this hour unless he had a good reason and what concerned you most was what he wanted with you right now.

Swinging open the door he greeted you first, clearly in a hurry. He looked nervous.

“Hi Y/N. I’m so sorry to bother you at this hour, but there is nowhere else I can go. Can we please come in?”

“We?”, you asked brows furrowed.

Namjoon stepped aside and you saw the smaller frame that was hidden behind him, the hood of a sweatshirt blocking their face. Trusting that Namjoon wouldn’t bring anyone around that would hurt you, you motioned for them both to come inside and take a seat. You offered some towels to dry off and started the kettle on the stove to get them something warm to drink.

As you finally took a seat across from the two Namjoon cleared his throat, “Y/N I’m sorry again for just barging in like this. I just really need your help. It’s been kind of a rough night.”

You nodded, but remained silent as you waited for more information. The person sitting next to your friend had yet to make a sound or even look at you giving you an uneasy feeling.

Thankfully Namjoon took the hint and continued, “We completed a raid today. Something we’d been working on for a long time now.”

“Ahh there it is.”, you thought to yourself. Namjoon worked for the the Hybrid Protection Agency or HPA. They were like the FBI, but specialized in hybrid affairs. You had heard numerous stories of them raiding businesses and buildings that were being used as fronts for different illegal operations involving hybrids. You turned your attention back to your friend to hopefully find out what he wanted with you.

“Have you ever heard of Lee Yan?”, he asked.

“No I don’t think I have”, you shook your head not failing to notice the other person flinch at the mention of the name.

Namjoon continued, “He also goes by Viper.”

“Ooohhh.”, your heart skipped a beat. Viper was known as one of the most ruthless hybrid traffickers in the game. He didn’t care who he had to hurt or even kill to achieve his goals. He owned 90% of all hybrid operations and was consistently listed as the most wanted criminal in the HPA’s database. You’d heard Namjoon ramble on and on about how much of a scumbag he was.

“Well we’ve been watching him for a while now. We got wind that he was going to be in town tonight to check on one of his hybrid houses.”

Just hearing that name made you cringe. Hybrid Houses were technically legal because they operated under the guise that they were there for hybrids to use when their natural instincts kicked in. Thanks to the increasing costs of using Hybrid Houses more and more owners started opting to pay for suppressants while some of the harsher owners chose to force their hybrids to just push through it without any help at all by locking them away until it passed. So now the houses are still advertised as such, but really they’re mostly being used as coverups

You realized you’d been completely ignoring everything he was saying so you sat up a little straighter trying your best to focus.

“Anyways, we showed up and raided the place. We managed to rescue about sixteen hybrids. We arrested two of Vipers guys, but unfortunately he was able to get away. Most of the hybrids are being taken to local shelters, a few had to be taken to the hospital. But one of them needs some special care which is what brings me to you.”

“I’m sorry what?”, you asked choking on air. Namjoon knew better than anyone that you didn’t exactly agree with owning a hybrid or anything hybrid related. In your views they were people more than animals and should be treated as such, Therefore they shouldn’t need an owner and you hated the way the government basically deemed them property. Hybrids had fewer rights and protections than any other species and you hated it. Namjoon had attended a few Hybrid Rights rally’s with you so he knew your views on this and you were honestly a little angry he was even trying to bring you into this.

Namjoon chuckled, “I guess I should’ve introduced you from the start. This is Yoongi.”, Namjoon spoke gesturing to the person next to him.

Your eyes widened in surprise as the mysterious person slowly pulled down the hood of their sweatshirt. Barely poking out of the top of a mop of black hair were two black fuzzy cat ears. A long fluffy black tail curled out from behind him. With so much going on you hadn’t noticed that your friend’s new friend was a hybrid. The hybrid, or Yoongi as he was called, quickly made eye contact with you before returning his gaze back to the floor. He reached for his tail slowly combing his fingers through the fur. You figure it was probably a way of self soothing.

“Nam-, Namjoon I’m sorry but how am I supposed to help?”

“Right, so Yoongi is or uh was Vipers personal pet.”

The sound of that word made your stomach twist. He was a grown man and shouldn’t be considered anyones “pet” and it infuriated you that people even had thoughts like that.

“When Viper took off he left Yoongi behind probably thinking one of his men would protect him, but one of our guys took him in thinking he was just one of the hybrids from the house instead. We can’t take Yoongi to a shelter. Viper will have his guys scouting every shelter with 100 miles from here. It’s not safe for him to stay with me either since I could possibly have a target on my back. I need him to stay here with you.”

You felt bad for the chuckle that you let out knowing that this probably wasn’t Yoongi’s first choice either, but you just couldn’t stop it.

“Namjoon, I can’t just take in another person. I can barely afford to feed myself let alone someone else. Plus you know how I feel about owning hybrids. It’s wrong. They’re people and shouldn’t be owned like an animal.”

Yoongi felt an odd fluttering in his stomach. No one had ever referred to him as a person before.

“Look Y/N, I’m desperate. I’ll send some money your way to cover the extra food and stuff. And you don’t have to officially adopt him. We just need to keep him safe until we get Viper in custody and then I’ll figure something else out.”

Namjoon reached over and placed a hand on your knee. You knew when he resorted to physical touch that he was serious.

“Please Y/N, he’s been through hell and back and has nowhere else to go. I need someone that he can trust. That I can trust. I can’t let him get back into the hands of someone like Viper.”

You peaked over Namjoon’s shoulders to see Yoongi with his hands folded in his lap. His bangs plastered to his forehead and still damp from the rain. He looked at you for barely a second before looking away, but even in that quick glance you could see the desperation in his eyes. You could only imagine what he had been through. Someone like Viper couldn’t possibly treat his own hybrid well when to him all they were there were play things and money makers.

“Okay.”, you spoke barely above a whisper, but Namjoon still heard you. He smiled before looking back at Yoongi trying to give him a reassuring squeeze that everything was going to work out for the better.

Thankfully the kettle sounded giving you an out of the awkward situation. While in the kitchen preparing the drinks you could hear Namjoon and Yoongi whispering back and forth.

“She doesn’t want me here. I can just go back to my owner. I don’t want to be any more of a burden than I already am.”

“Trust me, she’ll come around. It’s just a lot to take in. I wouldn’t have brought you here if I didn’t think she’d take good care of you.”

He was right. You would try your hardest to take care of him even if this situation isn’t exactly ideal for you.

After a drink and some pointless small talk you walked Namjoon to the door as he continued to give you instructions, “So don’t take Yoongi out of the house for any reason unless it’s an absolute emergency and call me immediately if you do. I’ll stop by with some clothes and stuff for him in a day or two plus some extra money.”

You nodded in agreement unsure of what else to say at that point. After he left you made sure to use all the locks on your door suddenly feeling a little less safe than normal. Yoongi was still sitting in the same spot on the couch not having touched his tea.

“I can make you something else to drink if you don’t like it. Or maybe something to eat? Are you hungry?”, you asked awkwardly.

“No thank you. I’m okay.”

“Okay… well… I’m gonna go take care of a few things. I’ll be right back.”

He nodded as you scampered up the stairs to your bedroom. After taking a few minutes to calm down and catch your breath you started grabbing whatever you could think he might need.

Digging through your drawers you found a t-shirt and a pair of old sweats that you thought should fit him after making a hole for his tail. Then in your closet you found an extra pillow and some blankets. Your spare bedroom was pretty much being used as storage so Yoongi was going to have to sleep on the couch which you felt terrible about so you decided to start looking online for a bed getting yourself distracted. You weren’t sure exactly how long he was going to be staying, but you figured it would be a couple weeks at least and you didn’t want him sleeping on the couch that whole time. You’d been meaning to finally set up the spare room so this was the kick you needed. You had to use pretty much every cent you had to afford everything, but it was needed.

After getting everything ordered you realized you had been locked away quite a while longer than you’d expected and got very worried about Yoongi. Rushing down the stairs with blankets and pillows in hand you found an empty couch.

“Fuck did he run away already?”, you panicked. Namjoon was going to kill you. Walking into the kitchen to find your phone you spotted a lump of black curled up in the corner. Getting closer you recognized the tail and ears. A wash of relief flooded over you as you bent down and tried to softly wake up the sleeping hybrid.

You tried to be as gentle as possible, but he still startled awake quickly backing into the corner before letting out a small hiss and curling in on himself.

“Hey it’s just me. It’s Y/N. I’m sorry for scaring you. I didn’t mean to.”

He looked back at you with wide eyes, still unsure of you and the situation.

After he finally calmed down and realized it was only you he relaxed a little before standing up.

“Why are you sleeping on the floor to begin with?”, you asked concerned.

He shrugged, “You were gone a long time so I thought you just went to bed for the night. I didn’t know where you wanted me to sleep and I didn’t want to wake you. I usually get put on the floor or in the garage, sometimes outside so I just chose right here.”

Your heart hurt at that while your face flushed with anger.

Stretching out your hand you motioned for him to follow you into the living room. After finishing setting up the couch you turned to Yoongi who was still shyly standing in the doorway.

“I’m sorry you have to sleep on the couch tonight. I don’t have a spare bed at the moment. I did order one though which is why I was gone so long. It should be here in a day or two. But the couch is really comfy and I can get more blankets or pillows if you need them.”

While you felt like a terrible host for having him sleep on the couch, Yoongi looked at you like you’d just given him the world.”

“I-I can sleep on the couch?”, he asked still unsure.

“Yeah of course. Like I said I’m sorry I don’t have a bed for you but it’ll just be for a couple days.”

You saw the first glimpse of a smile before he went to sit down.

“Oh wait!”, you exclaimed and then made a mental note to try and not be as loud when you noticed how he flinched at your quick movements.

“Come with me.”, you motioned for him to follow you to the bathroom. When you got upstairs you showed him the clothes you’d laid out plus a towel, “I figured you’d like to take a hot shower and have a change of clothes. These should fit you for the night. If you bring your clothes downstairs I can put them in the wash so you’ll have them for tomorrow.”

An awkward silence filled the room as he looked around in disbelief so you just nodded before closing the door behind you and heading downstairs.

Thankfully the rest of the night went by smoothly and you’d almost forgotten all about the hybrid sleeping on your couch downstairs until you heard his soft snores filling the air. Peeking over the railing you spotted Yoongi still curled up in a little ball on the couch. You could see his ears swivel with the noise of a few birds chirping outside. How long had it been since he was able to sleep deeply like that?, you wondered.

As quietly as possible you tiptoed past him and made your way to the kitchen to get some coffee ready. About twenty minutes later Yoongi came walking into the kitchen looking incredibly grumpy. He was definitely not a morning person you thought to yourself.

“Good morning.”, you chuckled.

“Good morning.”, he scowled.

“Would you like some coffee or orange juice? I have some milk.”, you asked unsure of what his diet normally looked like.

“Water is okay.”

You nodded and handed him a glass.

“You can sit down you know.”, you said pointing to the chair across from you.

“Sorry. I’m not usually allowed on the furniture.”

“Yoongi you live here now too. At least for a while. You can sit on the furniture, watch tv, help yourself to anything in the kitchen. You don’t have to be afraid. I promise nothing bad will happen to you here and I’m not going to hurt you.”

He nodded in understanding, but you could tell that there was still a lot of apprehension there.

“Speaking of which, what would you like for breakfast? I’m not the greatest cook, but I can get by.”

“I’m okay. I don’t need to eat anything.”, he shrugged, but his stomach said otherwise following with a loud grumble.

“How about some scrambled eggs and toast?”, you asked which he gratefully accepted.

He offered to clean up the kitchen for you after breakfast and then you both headed to watch a little tv and wait for Namjoon who said he’d be over in the afternoon. There was quite a bit of awkwardness in the air as you both sat on opposite sides of the couch neither of you really knowing what to say or do. After three episodes of some random baking competition show you had put on there was a knock at the door. Yoongi’s ears laid back into his hair as he scrambled to try and find a hiding spot before you could answer it.

“It’s just Namjoon.”, you said after peaking out the window.

Your friend walked in carrying several bags of clothes and supplies.

He and Yoongi carried everything up stairs before returning back to the couch. You offered Namjoon some water as you took a seat across from them.

“So how did last night go?”, he sighed.

“Alright, I think. I have a bed coming for Yoongi. Should be here soon.” You peaked over at Yoongi hoping he’d agree. He nodded his head.

Namjoon took a sip before continuing, “So I have an update about this whole situation. I got a call this morning that Viper has been located.”

Yoongi visible tensed up and you had to stop yourself from reaching out to him not feeling like you had that right yet.

“Okay so they caught him?”, you asked.

Apprehensively Namjoon continued, “Not exactly. The last tracking we have of him is at the airport. It appears he fled the country. We don’t know exactly to where, but our best guess is he probably went somewhere with super lax laws surrounding hybrids where he can hide out and be less likely to get caught.”

“Okkaaayy so what does that mean for Yoongi?”, you asked.

“Umm well he’s still not out of the woods yet. Viper will have his guys looking all over for him. We heard they were already at the shelters on 38th and another on Rose Ave asking about him so he’s going to have to stay here a little longer.”

“Oh okay that’s fine.”, you responded almost a little too quickly for your liking.

Suddenly Namjoon turned his attention to Yoongi,” Why don’t you go upstairs and start unpacking all the stuff I brought?”

Yoongi wasn’t dumb and he knew that was code for I need to talk to Y/N in private so with an eye roll he agreed and headed upstairs.

Once you heard the door close you turned your attention back to Namjoon, “Joon I guess I’m just not understanding why this guy would go through all the trouble to find Yoongi. Couldn’t he just find another hybrid to abuse? Like why is he so set on finding Yoongi that he has guys searching all over for him?”

He took a long deep breath before continuing. His voice barely above a whisper trying to stop Yoongi’s enhanced hearing from listening in.

“Well he’s more than just a pet.”

“Ugh please don’t use that word.”, you spat in disgust.

Namjoon chuckled., “Alright well I’m sure you’ve noticed that Yoongi is particularly attractive. Like more attractive than your average hybrid or person.”

You nodded your head because of course you had. Yoongi was very handsome with his chiseled jaw and cute button nose that sat perfectly under his beautiful cat eyes. His sweet gentle nature combined with his politeness made him all that more attractive on top of it. Unfortunately you were starting to have an idea of where Namjoon was going to be taking this conversation.

He snapped his finger at you, “Reel it back in Y/N. Daydream about Yoongi another time.”

You rolled your eyes before motioning for him to continue which he did, “Well because of that there are people in this world that will pay a pretty penny to spend a night with him, for whatever reason. Some want to fulfill their sexual fantasies as I’m sure you expected, others just want to have a companion, and some want to fulfill other desires that may not be so legal being done to other humans or animals. Either way Viper just lost his biggest moneymaker who brings in a lot of repeat and new customers so he’s not going to stop until he finds him.”

You felt sick thinking about how Yoongi and all these other hybrids have been treated.

“I just need him to stay here for a while. Maybe you can help him come out of his shell a little. You know show him that not all people are bad.”

You licked your lips, “Yeah sure. Of course he can stay here.”

Namjoon smiled, “Thank you Y/N. I owe you big time.”

“Yeah you definitely do.”, you chuckled.

Namjoon went up to say bye to Yoongi before coming back down and giving you a hug, “Alright I’ll keep you updated. Let me know if you need anything.”

The following morning Yoongi’s bed was delivered and thankfully he was quite handy building the bed by himself in just a little over an hour. You tried to help, but mostly just stood off to the side handing him whatever he needed and offering words of encouragement.

After the bed was made you stood back taking a look at the room that was slowly coming together.

“Maybe we can get you a tv or something. Or a computer? Do you have any hobbies?”, you said sneaking a look at him.

He shook his head, “Y/N, you’ve already done more for me than anyone else ever has. I don’t need anything else.”

His words hit you. The thought that having a small bed and a couple hot meals was more than this poor soul had ever received combined with what Namjoon had told you earlier, it broke you.

“Enjoy your room for a while. I’ll be downstairs if you need anything.”, you said before slipping out the door so he couldn’t see your watery eyes.

You may have gone a little overboard on ordering and definitely won’t be able to afford takeout for a while, but seeing the look on Yoongi’s face as he was devouring the pizza made it worth it. Over the last few months he had started opening up to you little by little. First it was little things like his favorite color or how he has always wanted to try pizza but was never allowed. He was still pretty skittish and didn’t seem to like being touched or even really be any closer than just sharing a couch. You didn’t blame him at all. But he had become a very important part of your life in a short time.

Then last night during a particularly severe thunderstorm you heard a soft knock at your bedroom door. Cracking it open you saw him standing there squeezing one of your favorite hoodies close to his chest. You wanted to question him about how and why he had it because you’d been looking for it for weeks, but the terror in his eyes diverted your attention. A loud clap of thunder rang through the air causing him to get low to the ground in fear using his hands and your hoodie to cover his ears. Without even thinking you grabbed his wrist pulling him into your room and tucking him in your bed. You thought he would protest, but he just burrowed deeper into the covers. Once back on your side the realization hit you that you were now sharing a bed with Yoongi, which other than a few accidental brushes against each other, was the closest the two of you had ever been.

You couldn’t deny that there had been some feelings brewing over the last couple weeks. You tried really hard to pushed them as far down as possible, but they kept coming to the surface. Yoongi had been through so much and there was no way you’d ever spring that on him, not right now. Especially when you had no idea at all if he even felt somewhat similar about you.

Another clap of thunder hit and you felt him jolt next to you with fear.

“Hey it’s okay. It’s just a storm. It should be over soon.”, you’d said trying to soothe him.

“I know, I’m sorry. It just loud noises sometimes scare me. It’s dumb.”

“Its not dumb. Is there anything I can do to help?”

He stayed silent for a few moments.

“Can you just hold me?”

His request stunned you into silence.

“N-never mind. It was a dumb idea.”

Before he could scoot away any further you grabbed his hand to stop him and pulled him closer so your arms could fit over him. He buried his face in your neck and instantly you could feel some of the tension leave his body. You prayed he wouldn’t feel your heart about to beat out of your chest. You thought it would be awkward, but it actually felt quite nice and comforting. After giving him a few minutes to settle down you decided to bring up something you had been wondering about.

“Hey Yoongi?”

“Mmhm?”

“Why do you have my hoodie?”

The tension retuned.

“Umm well I found it one day when I was cold so I wore it but then I realized that it made me feel better. I just started hugging it when I feel overwhelmed or anxious and you’re not here or if I didn’t want to bother you. It smells like you and it helps me relax. You can have it back though. I’m sorry I took it without asking. Please don’t be mad.”

He panicked and tried to unwrap the fabric from his body, but you stopped him, “No no it’s okay. I was just wondering. You can keep it. I have a closet full of them. And you never bother me. Ever.”

After some reassurance he happily settled back down and not long after you heard the faintest rumble come from his chest. “Yoongi are you purring?”, you asked trying to hide how happy it made you that he felt so comfortable with you.

“Shut up. Sometimes I can’t help it.”, he said embarrassed that his body had betrayed him like that. He was trying to act mad, but even in the dark you could see the faint hint of a blush on his cheeks. You just chuckled before allowing him to snuggle in a little closer.

After a while you’d thought he had fallen asleep as the purrs died down, but then he spoke, “Thank you for letting me in here. I’m sorry I woke you up for this.”

“Don’t be sorry. I am always here for you. I promise.”

He chuckled, “I really hate thunderstorms. I feel like such a little kid sometimes.”

“Is it the loud noise?”

“Kind of, but it’s more than that.”

He then went on to tell you about one of Viper’s regulars, Mrs. Cho and how she’d always book time with him during thunderstorms because her husband was a meteorologist and was usually busy during those times. Apparently she was in to pain and he tried his best to describe the things she had forced him to do before his voice started cracking and you told him he didn’t have to go any further. Talking about those moments seemed to bring back a lot of painful memories for Yoongi as he spent the rest of the night clinging to you while whimpering himself awake every so often until you could soothe him back to sleep.

That night seemed to change something between the two of you. Over the following weeks Yoongi became a lot cuddlier, often choosing to sit next to you while watching tv and getting into bed with you at night even if there wasn’t a storm outside. You both cooked meals together, his arms around you more than he actually helped cook. He’d help you in your garden since it was only in your backyard blocked off by a fence and he liked getting some fresh air. Your feelings grew deeper and deeper too, but you couldn’t ever bring yourself to say anything. It wasn’t worth the risk of ruining everything you had with him.

So that’s why you decided to splurge and surprise him today with a pizza party thanks to the bonus you got at work. You knew it wouldn’t just magically make everything better, but it also couldn’t make it worse.

He told you over and over how the pizza was the best thing he’d ever tasted and you had to keep reminding him not to overdue it so he didn’t get a tummy ache.

You were just finishing up the dishes when a knock at the door pulled your attention that way. Like usual whenever someone came over Yoongi bolted for his room to hide until he knew it was safe to come out. You were a little nervous to open the door yourself. They still hadn’t caught Viper and you hadn’t heard from Namjoon in several days which was weird and there was an incident at the grocery store last week where you swore a man was following you, but nothing ever came of it so you chalked that up to just some creep following you around.

After peaking out the window you excitedly swung the door open before jumping into the man’s arms.

Yoongi sensing that you weren’t in danger peeked around the corner and saw you hugging it out with some guy. It made his chest constrict, a feeling he didn’t like. He knew he was starting to have feelings for you, he thought he had pushed those all the way down, but apparently not. He made his way down the stairs to the two of you standing right beside you so you’d notice him which of course you did right away.

“Yoongi! I’m glad you’re here. I want to introduce you to my good friend. This is Jungkook.”

The two men nodded a greeting at each other. You missed the way Jungkook eyed Yoongi up and down. Suddenly Yoongi got a really uneasy feeling about this person. He tried pulling you into the other room, but you brushed him off. You invited them both to take a seat with you but you were a little surprised that Yoongi decided to sit right next to you almost on your lap, but still between you and Jungkook. His tail was puffed up and swinging shortly showing his agitation as he glared at you friend.

“So Kookie how have you been?”, you asked offering him a drink.

“Kookie? Why don’t I have a nickname?”, Yoongi scoffed to himself.

“Pretty good. Traveling a lot. How have you been?”, Jungkook asked.

“Good, working a lot.”

The two of you went back and forth making light conversation. Yoongi was getting more and more angry as time went on. He just did not like this Jungkook, but he couldn’t quite place why. He knew a part of it was jealousy because it was clear you and Jungkook

had some history from the stories you told and he knew you’d never be interested in him in that way as much as he was starting to want that.

After what felt like hours you finally walked Jungkook to the door with Yoongi following close behind.

“It was so nice to see you Y/N.”, he smiled.

“Yeah of course. You, me, and Namjoon will have to get together some time. Just like our old college days.”

You both chucked followed by Jungkook extending his hand out towards Yoongi. That’s when Yoongi saw it. On Jungkook’s wrist was a tattoo of a snake. Or more specifically a viper. It was a marking that all of the close associates of Viper had and THAT is why Yoongi didn’t like this guy. He was bad news.

Without thinking he lunged forward attacking Jungkook. His need to protect you overtaking his fear for a moment. You looked on in shock before realizing what happened. By that time Jungkook had already thrown a punch causing Yoongi to fall to the ground.

“Bye Y/N. See you around.”, he said before smirking at Yoongi who was still laying on the floor.

“What the hell Yoongi? Why did you do that?”, you said dropping to your knees next to him.

Softly you moved his hand seeing the welt already forming on this cheek.

“Come on. Let’s get some ice.”

Back in the kitchen and with a bag of frozen peas on his face you went back to scolding him, “You can’t just go around attacking people Yoongi. You could get in a lot of trouble. Especially as a hybrid they’ll look for any reason to deem you as a delinquent.”

Yoongi continued to stare at the floor.

“Do you have anything to say for yourself?”, you asked letting more of your annoyance show through than you had planned.

“Jungkook works for Viper.”

“No he doesn’t. He works with Namjoon for the HPA.”, you chuckled.

“Y/N, I’m serious. He has the viper tattoo. I saw it.”

You were starting to feel the frustration bubbling.

“Yoongi lots of people have Viper tattoos. It’s like a pretty common thing.”

He shook his head, “No it’s a specific tattoo that all his closest guys get. It’s like some initiation bullshit or something.” He took a breath before continuing, “They only get it after they’ve proven their loyalty by murdering a hybrid.”

“There’s no way. Jungkook would never do that. He’s always been for trying to improve hybrid rights.”, you shook your head.

Yoongi removed the bag of peas revealing the red welt, “Y/N I’ve seen that tattoo hundreds and hundreds of times. I know what I saw.”

You still didn’t want to believe him. Jungkook was one of your closest friends. You never would’ve let someone like that into your life. Unable to stop the words from spilling out of your mouth you’d told up backing away from him.

“You’re just jealous Yoongi.”

He scoffed, “Of what?”

“Because for the last couple months I’ve been devoting all my attention and energy to you until now when I showed the slightest bit of attention towards another guy so now you’re making up lies to make me hate him. You only want me for yourself.”

Now it was his turn to laugh, “For what? You’re just my temporary owner. Fuck every guy in the city. I don’t care. I’m just trying to protect myself and that means not having that guy around.”

His words stung you a little. You were starting to catch feelings, but to him you were just another human that had ownership of him as a pet, nothing more.

“You’re lying.”, you whispered.

“Y/N I’m not lying. You need to call Namjoon. Now! We’re both in danger.”

You shook your head, “I can’t believe you Yoongi. I never thought you’d become such a problem hybrid.”

You heard him audibly gasp and you instantly regretted saying it. While referring to a hybrid as a problem hybrid might not seem like much of an issue to a human, to a hybrid it was considered derogatory since they have had to fight for a long long time to prove that they too could be a productive part of society with no issues just as any human could. So calling one a problem hybrid deemed them a lost cause and basically meant they should just be locked away and remain nothing more than a pet on a leash.

“I’m sorry Yoo-.”, you tried to say reaching forward for him, but before you could finish he threw the bag down on the table and ran up to his room slamming the door behind him.

It had been a week since you last saw Yoongi. He refused to eat meals with you. He no longer sat behind you while you worked or cuddled next to you while watching tv. Your bed felt colder and lonelier too after you’d gotten used to him quietly crawling in with you in the middle of the night.

At the end of the week you decided to reach out to Namjoon to ask for advice, luckily for you he contacted you on his own through text. You figured he was probably somewhere that he couldn’t really talk out loud.

Joon: Hey how are things going? Sorry I’ve been MIA. Just a lot going on.

You: Honestly, been better.

Joon: Yeah I wanted to talk to you about that. Yoongi contacted me the other day. He said something about wanting to go to a shelter.

You felt like you were going to be sick. You had tried to apologize several times for the problem hybrid situation, but he never wanted to hear it. You had no idea that he hated you so much he’d rather risk it living in a shelter, but you also couldn’t really blame him.

You: Yeah I let my emotions get the best of me and said something that I shouldn’t have. I really don’t want him to leave, but I won’t force him to stay.

Joon: Technically since you’re not his owner you can’t force him to stay anyways. It’s just still not safe out there and if he goes to a shelter it’s only a matter of time until they find him. What set this all off? Maybe I can talk to him.

You: I don’t even know any more. Jungkook showed up and Yoongi just attacked him. Said he was working with Viper. And then we got in an argument.

You: Have you seen Jungkook recently?

Joon: No I haven’t. He suddenly quit the agency about 9 months ago and I haven’t heard from him since.

Joon: Listen Y/N, I know you and Jungkook have or had a thing, but maybe it’s best to listen to Yoongi. He’s been in Vipers world most of his life. He knows a lot and if he’s saying Jungkooks bad news then he means it.

You: I just don’t see how that is possible. He’s a good guy.

Joon: Sometimes the worst people are the best at hiding their true colors. Just stay away from him until I do some more digging. Please. For yours and Yoongi’s safety. I’m going to talk to Yoongi and try to convince him to stay with you for now. I think it’s best.

You: Alright. Keep me updated. Stay safe yourself.

Taking a deep breath to calm your nerves you knocked on Yoongi’s door with a shaky hand. Surprisingly he opened the door which you were not expecting so admittedly you were not prepared.

“Umm I just got off the phone with Namjoon. He said you wanted to go to a shelter instead. I’m not going to force you to stay.”

You handed him a couple old duffel bags you had, “So here are some bags. You’re welcome to take anything in the room. It’s all yours. Namjoon is going to look around and decide where he thinks it’ll be the safest for you to go.”

Gently he grabbed the bags from you. Just before he closed the door again you stopped him, “Oh and Yoongi, I’m really sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I didn’t mean to break my promise.”

Namjoon tried for several days to convince Yoongi to stay, but ultimately he was stubborn and had already made his decision. Namjoon had his sister pick him up early in morning a few days ago to take him to a shelter about three hours away. Namjoon wouldn’t tell you the exact location for your safety so that’s as much as you got. Now as you laid in bed trying to fall asleep while there was a raging thunderstorm going on outside you couldn’t help but worry about him. Was the storm hitting his area? How was he coping? He’d surely have a nightmare and you felt awful not being there to comfort him, but this is what he wanted even though it was all because of you.

You were just finally starting to fall asleep when a loud knock at your door woke you up. Tempted to ignore it, especially at this hour, you turned over trying to fall back asleep when you heard another knock. Then the possibilities flooded you. What if something happened to Yoongi? What if it was Yoongi?!

Jumping out of bed you sprinted down the stairs forgoing even checking who it was and swinging open the door praying to find Yoongi only to be met with the person who brought this all on.

“Hi Y/N, sorry to drop in like this again.”, Jungkook smiled.

You invited him in even though Yoongi and Namjoon’s words replayed in your head. You watched as he looked around your home before taking a seat.

“What do I owe the pleasure?”, you asked suddenly feeling uncomfortable with him here alone with you.

“Just thought I’d stop by. I was in the area again. Maybe we could go to that diner on Main. Like old times.”, he laughed.

You don’t know if it was the warnings or what, but this definitely didn’t feel like all the old times when Jungkook would show up at your door in the middle of the night wanting to go get chocolate chip pancakes while you both told corny jokes and laughed until the waitress finally had to kick you guys out. This felt darker, sinister even. Only made worse when you noticed the piece of black metal clinging to his hip that he tried to hide with his leather jacket. Jungkook had always been against violence especially anything that included weapons. You remembered when he first started training for the agency and had to learn how to assemble and use a gun. He despised it, almost quitting because of it, but he knew it was for the better of the hybrid community. If he really had quit the agency like Namjoon said then he would’ve had to turn in all of his weapons so the fact that he had one on him made your uneasiness all that more prominent.

“Yeah let me go grab my purse!”, you exclaimed trying to get away from him now realizing something was up. He grabbed your hand stopping you from going any further, “No need Y/N. I’ll pay.”

“Oh well at least let me go get dressed. I don’t want to go out looking like such a slob.”, you chuckled quickly bolting up the stairs before he could stop you again.

In your room with the door closed you frantically searched for your phone wanting to call Namjoon or the police or anyone for help.

Finding it lying on the floor you grabbed it quickly searching your contacts. In your frazzled state you failed to hear anyone creep up behind you until it was too late and you felt the cold metal against the warmth of your forehead.

A strong arm pulling you close against a body much bigger than yours.

“Y/N, put the phone down. You don’t want to do that.”, Jungkook growled in your ear.

“Why are you doing this?”, you asked slowly tossing your phone on the bed. “You were against abuse towards hybrids just like me and Namjoon. Now you work with the worst in the business?”, you questioned him.

“Look, I really don’t want to have to hurt you. I still care about you Y/N. That’s the only reason I didn’t just kill you the other night and take Yoongi then. Tell me where he is and I’ll let you go.”

You shook your head, “I don’t know. They took him this morning.”

You could hear him scoff as he pushed the tip of the gun against your forehead a little harder making you flinch in fear.

“Y/N, I won’t ask again. Where did they take Yoongi?”, he shouted.

“A shelter in North Provence. That’s all they told me.”, you spit out.

You cried tears of relief when you felt him pull the gun away before throwing you down on the ground.

“Thanks Love.”, was all he said before sprinting out of your home.

Quickly grabbing your phone you dialed Namjoon’s number.

North Provence was at least six hours away from you so double the time Namjoon had told you, hopefully buying you some time.

You called him twelve times before giving up.

You knew you had to get to Yoongi and make sure he was safe and apologize for everything. He had been right about Jungkook, but you had no idea where he was. Three hours away could be in any direction.

While getting dressed as quickly as possible you suddenly remembered that Namjoon had a cousin who ran a non-profit hybrid organization that would take in hybrids, rehab them, and then adopt them out. If you remembered correctly it was located about two hours and fifty minutes from you. You didn’t know if you were correct, but it was the only lead you had.

Making the drive there in record time you reached the shelter just as they were opening. You still hadn’t been able to contact Namjoon so you were doing this solo.

Namjoon’s cousin, Jin, greeted you at the front desk.

“Oh hey Y/N! It’s been ages. I really need to get on Joonie to start coming around more.”

You tried to smile, “I know , I know, I completely agree.”

“So what can I do for you?”

Trying to hide the shake in your voice unsure of how much Jin knows you took a deep breath, “Well I’d really like to adopt a hybrid and I knew this was the perfect place to come.”

He chuckled, “Well you certainly did come to the right place. Do you know what you’re looking for? We just got in this Labrador hybrid. His name is Hoseok or Hobi for short. He is the sweetest ray of sunshine and I think you’d love him.”

“He does sound very nice, but I was looking for more of a cat hybrid. Maybe a black cat?l

Jin looked up at the ceiling, “Hmm you know we do have a few cats. Come on back with me and see if there’s any that CATch your eye.”

He laughed hysterically at his own joke so you giggled along trying to hide the fact that you were two seconds away from vomitting.

“So right now we have four cat hybrids up for adoption. I think you’d really get along with Jimin the most. He’s not a black cat, but he’s very cuddly and playful. He’ll seriously be your best friend.”

You nodded taking a look though the glass rooms. You knew the owners of the shelters were just doing their best to find homes for the hybrids, but it felt so wrong walking through a long hallway staring into these rooms holding people for you to buy.

As mentioned Jin introduced to Jimin who immediately came walking up to the glass. Jin told you that Jimin was a Russian blue cat hybrid. He had beautiful fluffy gray hair and the prettiest greenish blue eyes. He shyly waved to you. Jin explained that Jimin had been rescued from a hybrid hording situation. He was very sweet and you had almost considered adopting him, but you had a different mission at the moment.

As much as it pained you to walk away you asked Jin to see the rest of the cat hybrids, but much to your dismay none of them were Yoongi.

“So see any that you like?”, Jin asked excitedly.

“They’re all very nice and I want them to all have good homes, but I was really looking for a black cat.”

Jin look apprehensive, “Weeeelllll we do have one black cat hybrid, but I don’t think he’s ready for adoption yet. Maybe if you’re willing to wait a couple months then you could adopt him. He’s only been here like a few days and he’s just really depressed and anxious. The thunderstorm last night really set him off.”

The more he described the hybrid the more it sounded like Yoongi.

You grabbed onto Jins arm, “Oh please let me see him! Please Jin!”

He looked at you confused by your excitement.

“I don’t know Y/N. I think a visitor would only stress him out more and I don’t want to do that.”

“Jin please. I promise I won’t even say anything to him. I just want to see him. Maybe it’ll help me decide if I’m really set on a black cat.”

“You’re lucky I love you like a sister.”, he sighed before leading you through a set of double doors.

Your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest.

“Just please try not to startle him. It seems like he’s been through a lot.”, he said leading you to a small room at the end of the hall.

Softly you tiptoed in front of the window. He was laying on a cot facing the wall. All you could see was black hair with two black ears poking out. That could be any cat hybrid and not necessarily Yoongi. You wanted to shout his name or beg for him to turn around. Anything to see his face.

You went to ask a question when suddenly an alarm sounded through the building.

“Sorry Y/N, I have to go check on that. I’ll be right back.”, Jin said before sprinting towards the back of the building.

You turned around prepared to gently knock on the glass now that Jin wasn’t around when you saw a familiar pair of eyes already looking back at you.

You’d found him. Quickly you began banging on the glass, “Yoongi are you okay? Yoongi please talk to me.”

Unfortunately he was uninterested in talking and turned back around to face the wall. His tail swaying lazily back and forth.

“Yoongi please! You were right about every thing. About Jungkook. He works for Viper.”

Still no reaction from him other than his tail coming to a halt .

“He showed up at my house. He held a gun to my head demanding to know where you were.”

That seemed to get his attention even more. You saw his ears swivel in your direction.

“I lied and sent him somewhere far away, but it’s only a matter of time until he figures it out. I need to get you out of here. Please Yoongi.”

You don’t know when you started crying, but you could feel the tears soaking the top of your shirt. Between the exhaustion and the stress and the fear you were reaching a breaking point.

Falling to your knees your face fell into your hands while you just sobbed. It wasn’t until you heard a tapping on the glass did you look up to see Yoongi kneeling in front of you on the other side. His palm pressed to the glass as he nodded.

Finally the alarm turned off which meant Jin could be back at any moment. You tried your best to wipe away the tears as you heard quick footsteps coming in your direction.

Thinking back to your high school drama days you you knew you were going to have to put on an act.

“I am so sorry about that Y/N. One of the staff members forgot to turn off the security alarm before going out the back door to receive a shipment. Have you given it anymore tho-, why are you crying?”, Jin said coming to an abrupt stop next to you.

You chuckled, “Sorry. You know me and how I get so emotional sometimes. Yoongi was just telling me about his past and I just feel so terrible about what he went through.”

Jin looked at you skeptically. Yoongi hadn’t spoken a word to anyone but he just told you his entire life story?

“Jin, I want to adopt him. Please.”

He looked between you and Yoongi. “No I don’t think that’s a good idea”., he shook his head.

“Jin, what’s the motto of this organization?”

“Everyone deserves a chance.”, he sighed.

“Sooo give me and Yoongi a chance.”

He looked over at Yoongi who gave him a nod.

Jin ran his fingers through his hair, “Alright, but don’t make me regret this. Either of you!”

Jin pulled you into a back room to fill out some paperwork. Thankfully he gave you the family and friends discount so you were able to afford the adoption fee.

As you were standing near the exit waiting for Jin to return with Yoongi you couldn’t help but feel the fear building now that you had found him. You tried calling Namjoon a couple more times, but without luck.

When Jin finally appeared with Yoongi following behind he handed you some more paperwork along with the bags that Yoongi had taken from your place.

You both ran off to your car and you didn’t waste any time to begin driving wanting to get away from the shelter just in case.

Yoongi had been silent this whole time until you heard his stomach grumble. You made sure to drive out a little further before stopping at a restaurant to grab something to eat.

After taking a sip of his milk he looked you up and down, “So what do we do now Y/N?”

“Well” you said finishing up the bite of your omelette. “To be honest I don’t know. I didn’t think I’d actually find you and if I did I didn’t think you’d leave with me. I’ve been calling Namjoon repeatedly, but he’s not answering. I don’t know who else we can trust.”

The table fell silent again as you both ate.

While Yoongi was staring out the window you took the opportunity to really look at him. He was noticeably thinner than you remembered. Dark circles surrounded his eyes. His lips extra chapped from licking them, a nervous habit of his you learned. His head hung lower than ever. You wanted to engulf him in a hug and tell him everything was going to be okay, but you knew you’d lost that right so you decided on an apology instead.

“Hey Yoongi.”, you’d said pulling his attention back to you.

“I, I just wanted to say I’m sorry for that night that Jungkook came over. I should’ve listened to you. I just didn’t want to believe that someone I had been so close to would have become such a terrible person. And I’m especially sorry for what I said. You’re not a problem hybrid. You’re the opposite actually.”

Unable to take his glare anymore you turned your attention back to your coffee.

He cleared his throat, “Im sorry for what I said too. I guess I just got a little jealous seeing how close you were with him. And then when I realized who he was I wanted to protect you and I was getting stressed out that you weren’t letting me.”

A silence fell over the table again except for you thanking your waiter for refilling your coffee.

“And uh thank you for coming for me. To be honest, I regretted leaving as soon as I got in the car.”, Yoongi whispered while staring into his pancakes. You gave him a smile before finishing up your meal.

“Well I have no idea what to do now. We can’t go to my place. Namjoon isn’t answering. I can’t really afford a hotel for more than a couple night.”

Yoongi took a final sip of his drink, “I might know someone we can trust. Can I borrow your phone?”

You were unsure, but you learned your lesson for not trusting him the first time so you handed it over and watched as he walked over to the entrance. After paying the bill you gathered your things and met him by the car.

“I have somehwere we can go. Just get on the highway and I’ll give you the directions.”

You did as he said ending up driving about two hours south before pulling up to a large farmhouse in the middle of nowhere. A perfect spot for a murder to go unsolved you thought. A man sitting on the porch swing sipping away on an iced tea got up ready to greet you.

Yoongi sensing your anxiousness reached over placing his hand on your knee, “We can trust him. I promise.”

You nodded still unsure but got out of the car following after him.

The man walked over and embraced Yoongi in a hug.

“Hello Taehyung. Thank you for taking us in.”, he said pulling away.

“Of course. You know you’re always welcome here.”, the man spoke in a very deep tone.

The two of them spoke in whispers giving you the chance to really look this Taehyung over. He had beautifully fluffy golden blond hair with deep amber eyes. Then you noticed two tiny little ears poking out of the locks and a long thin tail slowly swaying behind him. It appeared that he was a lion hybrid, which was extremely rare. Exotic hybrids were hard to come by, especially living out on their own in the countryside.

You were woken out of your thought when you felt a pair of arms wrap around you., “Ahh and this must be your friend you were telling me about. You’re right hyung, she is very beautiful.” You stifled a chuckle, but heard a very embarrassed Yoongi mumble something about needing to learn to keep his mouth shut before turning a bright shade of red.

Taehyung opened the door motioned for you two to follow him, “Come on in. I’ll show you to your rooms.”

You both followed him up the stairs and down a very long hallway. Taehyung was very friendly, but definitely a talker you learned. You felt like you were on museum tour the way he described each piece of artwork or architecture.

“I didn’t know if you two were going to be sleeping separately or together but just in case I have both options ready for you.”, he said opening two different bedroom doors.

You and Yoongi looked at each other awkwardly causing the lion hybrid to chuckled, “Well you two can figure it out together. I’ll let you get some rest and come get you when dinner is ready.”

You both agreed that it would be best to sleep in the same room, for safety reasons of course and not because there was definitely something still brewing between the two of you.

“So how do you know Taehyung?”, you asked trying to break the silence.

Yoongi sat down on the bed, “Well uh he actually used to also be owned by Viper and we were pretty close back then. Since he’s younger I always tried to protect him as much as I could. He managed to escape a few years ago though. We kept in touch the best we could. He always tried to get me to escape too, but I was just too afraid.”

“So what do we do now?”, you asked.

“I don’t really know. The easy answer is hideout and hope they’re able to arrest Viper before they find us. But I have a feeling it won’t be that simple.”

You chuckled, “Yeah me too.”

Taehyung called you both down for dinner. He greeted you in the kitchen with two glasses of wine.

At the stove stirring a pot was a beautiful woman. She didn’t appear to be any part hybrid, but fully a human like yourself. She greeted you with a smile, “Oh hi! You must be Y/N, Yoongi’s girlfriend.” The sip of wine went down wrong causing you to choke at her words. Yoongi threw Taehyung a glare causing him to put his hands up in defense.

The woman chuckled, “Sorry about that. My name is Lilly. I’m Taehyung’s wife.”

“Oh nice to meet you.”, you smiled.

She turned back to the stove playfully swatting Taehyung’s hand away from the bacon wrapped asparagus that were set out on a platter before he apologized with a kiss.

They looked really in love and after everything had happened it made your heart bubble with happiness to see it. It was not illegal for a human and a hybrid to get married, but it was extremely frowned upon by both the government and citizens alike forcing most hybrids and humans to never cross that line. You had never seen an issue with it and seeing a couple so happy made you really glad they had that option.

“Alright, let’s sit for dinner.”, Taehyung exclaimed clapping his hands together. Throughout the dinner Yoongi and Taehyung caught up and told stories. You and Lilly got to know each other. You had just finished up the last of the dishes when Taehyung invited everyone out to the back patio for a couple drinks.

“Soooo what are your next steps?”, he asked.

You had such a nice evening that you had honestly forgotten all about the whole reason you were there to begin with.

He continued, “You know Viper is going to have guys looking all over for you. Hell he’s probably still got them looking for me too.”

You hadn’t realized just how much Taehyung was also risking by having you guys there. He could be caught and imprisoned again.

Yoongi cleared his throat, “We’re not sure. Hopefully we can hide out here for a few days and then figure something out. Maybe finally get in contact with Namjoon.”

You nodded along in agreement.

“Well you’re both welcome to stay here as long as you need. We’ll help in any way we can.”, Lilly spoke up.

The next few days you and Yoongi spent a lot of time together trying to help out around the farm as much as possible.

Lilly and Taehyung had made a trip into town to get some supplies leaving just the two of you alone.

You were sitting on the couch cuddled liked you used to. Your back leaning against his chest. His arm lazily around your shoulder while his tail tickled your sides.

You were so engrossed in the movie that you hadn’t noticed Yoongi’s fingers lightly running up and down the exposed skin of your thigh until you noticed the goosebumps he was leaving behind. Slowly he seemed to be testing his limits by going higher and higher.

After a couple minutes of this you looked back at him catching his attention.

“What?”, he chuckled.

“Nothing.” Just as you’d figured he didn’t even realize he was doing it and there was no meaning behind his actions.

Then at some point his light touches turned into desperation. You don’t know how one thing lead to another, but somehow you ended up back in your room. Clothes discarded all over until you were left in nothing but your underwear. Yoongi fell back onto the bed pulling you on top of him. You happily obliged moving to straddle him making it more comfortable for you both. Hungrily you searched for his mouth wanting more. You ground down on him eliciting a moan that only encouraged you more. He helped push you down onto him again this time guiding you to hit just the right spots. You felt his soft tail wrap around your waist giving just a little extra bit of force. Between kisses and filthy words the cloth between the two of you became too much of a barrier to take any more. Without thinking you hooked your finger under the waistband of his boxers ready to release him when suddenly something snapped in Yoongi.

He wasn’t in bed about to make love to you, a woman that he cared deeply for, some might even say love. Instead he was back in one of Vipers “play” rooms. Loud music blaring, some person he didn’t know who had paid a handsome amount of money to have their way with him was grabbing him without his consent.

“Stop! Don’t touch me.”, he shouted making you recoil back like he had burned you. Maybe you had misread the situation after all.

“Yoongi what happened?”, you asked concerned. Instead of responding he fled back. Burying himself under the covers. You could hear the sobs come from beneath.

Quickly you threw on a shirt, yours or his it didn’t matter and gently made your way next to him careful not to touch him.

“Yoongi, it’s Y/N. No one is going to hurt you. I promise. You are just here with me. We’re at Taehyung’s. Remember?”

After a few minutes and a couple more affirmations his breathing started to slow and he peaked out from underneath the covers.

You smiled, “Hey are you okay? Can I get you anything? Maybe some water?”

He shook his head but you felt his fingers come rest against your hand before he intertwined them with your own trying to ground himself and bring him back to reality.

You gave him time to calm down. You didn’t dare move or speak for fear of setting him off.

“I’m sorry.”, he whispered after several minutes.

Lightly you giggled, “What are you sorry about silly? You have nothing to apologize for.”

“I ruined the moment. You probably think I’m some kind weirdo.”

You shook your head, “That couldn’t be farther from the truth. I’m sorry that I didn’t check with you more. I should’ve been more careful.”

He pulled your hand closer to him so he could snuggle in your lap and you ran your fingers through his hair.

“I, I would like to try again one day. If that’s okay with you.”, he mumbled into your skin. The vibrations making you chuckle.

“Of course. Whenever you’re ready we can try again.”

You woke up the next morning to loud pounding on the door. Forgetting where you were more a minute you ignored it until you heard Taehyung’s voice. Jumping out of bed you were thankful you had both managed to get some clothes on after last night when you swung open the door. A very disheveled looking Taehyung greeted you.

“We need to get out of here.”, he exclaimed.

You looked back at him in confusion thankful that Yoongi had finally joined you.

He continued, “I just got a call from one of my friends in town. They saw Viper and a couple of his crew walking around. He’s onto us and it’s only a matter of time until they’re here. Grab what you can and meet me in the garage. We’ll take my truck.” Lilly came running up m to him ready to go but he shook his head, “It’s way too dangerous. Go up in the attic and lock the door. Use all of the locks. Stay quiet and don’t answer the door for anyone other than me. Just like we practiced. Okay?” She nodded and gave him a kiss before running up to the attic as instructed.

Meanwhile you and Yoongi grabbed your belongings which thankfully wasn’t much and made your way out to the garage where Taehyung was already waiting. You were barely in the truck before he sped off leaving the farmhouse behind.

“Fuck, where are we gonna go?”, Yoongi asked running a hand through his hair.

“How did they even find us so fast?”, you asked.

Taehyung shrugged his shoulders, “I have no idea. Viper runs a very large operation. He probably has guys stationed in every city.”

Taehyung drove for hours only stopping for a bathroom break and to get some gas.

“What are we going to do? We can’t just drive around forever?”, you asked once back in the truck.

“A buddy of mine lives a little west of here. He’s an ex HPA officer. Maybe he can help us out.”, Taehyung said turning to Yoongi for assurance.

You were half way to your destination when your phone rang. The screen illuminated with Namjoon’s picture. You’ve never accepted a call so fast.

“Hello”

“Hi Y/N, I’m so sorry I haven’t be reachable. Some crazy shit has gone down.”

“Yeah you’re telling me.”

“Where are you?”, he asked.

“I have no idea. We’re with one of Yoongi’s friends. He was right about Jungkook. He works for Viper now.”

“I know. It’s unfortunate. Y/N, I’m going to send you my location. You guys can meet me here. I can get you somewhere safe.”

“Okay Joon. We’ll see you soon.”

As promised you received his location not long after. Taehyung punched it into his gps and made a uturn.

“Are you sure we can trust this guy?”, he asked feeling a little uneasy. You didn’t blame him after everything he’s been through.

“Yeah. I’ve known him since we were kids. He works for the HPA. He’s the one that initially brought Yoongi to me.” Yoongi nodded in agreement.

After an hour drive the truck pulled up to an abandoned looking warehouse close to the main river.

“Are you sure this is the location?”, Yoongi asked looking around and you quickly showed him your phone to verify.

You dialed Namjoon’s number surprised that he quickly answered.

“Hey are you sure that locatjon was correct? It’s like a creepy looking factory or something?”, you asked.

He chuckled, “Yeah yeah I know it looks rough but I’m inside. We’ve got a little operation running.”

Hanging up the three of you exited the truck and started walking towards the open door. Taehyung lead the way with Yoongi following close behind. He pulled you against him needing to know that you were safe there with him.

Inside the warehouse you didn’t see a whole HPA operation set up like you had imagined. Instead you found Namjoon tied to a chair with several men surrounding him all pointing their guns at the three of you.

You noticed that each man had the same viper tattoo that Jungkook had. Namjoon looked at you apologetically. His eye was bruised and his lip had clearly been spilt open.

“I’m so sorry Y/N. I’m sorry I brought you into this mess.”, he cried.

Instinctively you went to run to him but Yoongi stopped you. Pulling you close against him again. You wanted to protest, but were cut off by a high pitched laugh.

A strange man came walking in directly towards Yoongi positioning himself at eyelevel. “Well well well, you didn’t really think you could hide from me did you Kitty?”, he spoke running his finger delicately along Yoongi’s cheek.

You noticed the large Viper tattoo front and center on his chest. It didn’t take much to figure out that you were looking directly Viper himself.

Then as if you called him by thinking of him he set his sights on you hiding behind Yoongi.

“Ohhhh I see you’ve got yourself a little girlfriend. How adorable.”, he laughed.

“Don’t touch her.”, Yoongi spat.

“Please, I don’t want anything to do with your whore. The hybrid fucker can get lost for all I care.”

Viper walked closer to Yoongi until he was a mere inch from his face, “You know you’ve cost me a lot of money and time over the last few months. You’re going to have to make this all up to me.”

“Fine, just let Y/N go free.”, Yoongi said.

“No Yoongi, you can’t do that.”, you cried reaching for him, but Viper snapped his fingers and two of his men came over dragging you away. You tried your best to fight free, but they overpowered you.

As you were being pulled away you saw Viper kick his foot into Yoongi’s stomach dropping him to his knees in pain.

Something off to the side took his attention away from Yoongi though and you saw his face light up into a disgusting grin, “Tae is that you? I thought I lost you forever. This day just keeps getting better.”

Taehyung let out what could only be described as low roar making you jump in surprise forgetting for a moment that he was half lion.

“Stand down you overgrown house cat.”, Viper scoffed.

“Leave him alone. You have me now. Just like you wanted.”, Yoongi shouted.

You watched as Viper strolled over back Yoongi before backhanding him so hard causing Yoongi to fall over.

You screamed out his name, tears streaming down your face at the abuse he was receiving.

Viper rolled his eyes annoyed at the scene you were causing. He pointed to one of his men that currently had a death grip on your arm, “Finish her.”

Once again you felt the familiar cold metal against your skin.

“Noooo, don’t fucking touch her.”, Yoongi cried using what little strength he had left to try and break free.

Viper sadistically smiled seeing this all unfold., “Do it. Make sure Yoongi see it happen. It’ll be the first step in his punishment.”

You looked at Yoongi. His eyes were bloodshot and he was out of breath. A bruise on his cheek already forming. You mustered whatever you could manage to give him a small smile before closing your eyes. You could hear Yoongi’s pleas and cries. You wondered if you’d feel pain. You wondered if it would be instant.

Everything went silent. Then you heard the familiar sound of a gunshot so you braced. But you never felt pain. You never felt the impact. You thought maybe it really had been instant.

Then you heard doors slamming open and lots of shouting.

“HPA! Put your hands in the air before someone else gets shot.”

You opened your eyes to find dozens and dozens of HPA officers swarming the warehouse. The man who had held a gun to you earlier was facedown on the ground next to you, blood pooling around him.

Three HPA officers slowly walked towards Viper with guns drawn while a forth placed him in cuffs. The rest of Vipers men were quickly placed in cuffs too.

As soon as an officer grabbed the other guy who was holding on to you, you immediately ran to Yoongi engulfing him in a hug and sobbing into his chest.

“This isn’t over. You will pay for all of this. All of you.”, Viper spat at you as he was being dragged away.

“Are you okay? We need to get you to a hospital.”, you turned to Yoongi checking him over.

“No no I’m okay. I’m more worried about you.”, he said squeezing you a little tighter.

“We have a medic outside. They can check you both over.”, a familiar voice stated next to you.”

“Oh my god Namjoon! Are you okay?”, you exclaimed running into his arms.

“Yeah yeah. I’m fine.”, he smiled. “Just some good special fx makeup and terrible acting. Let’s go outside.”

Once in the fresh air you saw a face you never wanted to see again standing next to the ambulance. He gave you a nervous smile.

“What the fuck Jeon Jungkook?”, you shouted as he walked closer.

“Y/N, let me expla-“

He couldn’t finish the statement before your hand connected with his cheek.

“No Fuck you Jungkook. You held a gun to my head. You threatened me. You work for Viper and now you just want to stand here like nothing happened. Why aren’t you in handcuffs?”

Namjoon came in between you two, “Everyone just calm down. We have a command center set up next door. Let go over there, get some water, and cool down a little.”

You were in disbelief that Namjoon was taking his side. You looked at Yoongi for guidance and he nodded his head before reaching for your hand to follow after the two men.

Once in the command center and with a cold bottle of water in your hands you glared and Jungkook still not trusting him.

“How are you feeling Y/N? Can I get you something to eat?”, he spoke.

“Cut the bullshit Jungkook. What’s going on?”, you spat back at him.

“Firstly I want to apologize. That night at your place was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.”

You scoffed, “I didn’t ask for an apology. I want an explanation about why it happened to begin with.”

He took a deep breath before beginning, “The agency has really been putting a lot of effort into catching Viper. One of the ideas was to have someone infiltrate his group. Since I did mostly office work and was unknown amongst his men it was decided that it would be me. So about a year ago I started working on that. I pretended to quit the agency. The only people that knew about the whole plan at the time were Namjoon and the head of the HPA.”

“Wait, but you have the snake tattoo. Didn’t you have to kill a hybrid to get that?”

Namjoon stepped in, “It was all a setup. A retired officer who happened to be a hybrid somehow found out about everything. He was also in the final stages of cancer and volunteered his body. He wanted to make sure Viper was taken down for the safety of all hybrids.”

You shook your head in disbelief.

Jungkook cleared his throat and continued, “Viper got word that Namjoon had taken Yoongi to one of his friends. For some reason I had a feeling it was you. So I came over that first night to see if Yoongi was there and of course I verified he was. Two of Vipers guys were with me or I would’ve warned you that night.”

You could feel Yoongi’s tail swinging agitatedly next to you. A low growl rumbled in his chest, “So you purposely brought Vipers men to her house? They could’ve killed her!”

Jungkook scoffed, “I would’ve never let them hurt her. I had to keep the act up or they would’ve got suspicious about why I was there.”

The growl from Yoongi got a little louder so you rested your hand on his thigh to try and sooth him not wanting a repeat of that first meeting. Slowly you could feel him settle down even though his tail said otherwise.

Jungkook continued, “When I came back the second time I was planning on getting you both to a hideout for a while, but then Yoongi wasn’t there. I thought I was alone when I arrived, but once I got inside I realized that I had been followed so I had to act like I was there to get Yoongi.”

“Soooo you threatened to kill me to save your own ass?”, you questioned.

“No no no I was never going to hurt you. The gun wasn’t even loaded. I swear. I just needed to make it believable so that none of us would get hurt.”

“So then how did we end up here? How did you know where Yoongi and I would be?”

Jungkook continued, “Well that first time I was at your house and I punched Yoongi, sorry about that by the way.”

Yoongi rolled his eyes not wanting to accept the apology.

Jungkook continued, “I might have stuck a small tracker in your purse while you were distracted by taking care of Yoongi.”

After noticing your anger rising Namjoon took over, “When we saw that you went to Jin’s shelter we knew that you had found Yoongi. Jin confirmed you had adopted him. Then we tracked you to Taehyung’s address. We got his contact info and then told him everything that was going on. He agreed to play along and help us out by getting you guys to come here. Then we had Jungkook call Viper and tell him we had a tracker with Yoongi so that he’d come here too.”

“Wow unbelievable. Everyone in my life is a lier apparently.”, you shook your head.

“Y/N, I’m sorry we lied. We had to do what we needed to do so we could catch Viper. But I promise you were never in any real danger. We constantly had surveillance on you and if anything had ever happened we would’ve had officers there immediately.”, Namjoon said.

“I hope you can forgive me. I’m really sorry this had to happen this way.”, Jungkook spoke standing up ready to leave.

“I-I don’t know. Thank you for catching him, but I thing I need some time.”

He nodded in understanding and followed another officer out of the room.

Speechless you sat back taking in his words.

“So what happens now?”, Yoongi asked next to you.

“Well we have enough evidence to hopefully put Viper away for the rest of his life and we’ll continue to take down any of his operations that are still standing.”, Namjoon responded.

“Okay and what about me?”, Yoongi asked.

“Oh well you have a few options. We can take you directly to a shelter now that it’ll be safer. Or since you are technically considered a rescued hybrid you do qualify for fostering for a while to help you reacclamate back into society.”

Yoongi was silent but you could see him nod his head out of the corner of your eye. His ears twitched in your direction searching for any kind of sound from you.

The realization hit you. Unfortunately the way the laws were setup a hybrid could only live longterm with their legal owner and since you were not his owner that it meant he could no longer stay with you. Your whole life you had been vehemently against hybrid ownership, but the thought of never seeing Yoongi again made your chest ache.

“Ooorrrr if there’s someone who happened to already want to adopt you then we can work that out immediately.”, Namjoon spoke providing you the option to step in.

Biting your lip you nervously looked around. If you were to adopt Yoongi that would go against everything you ever believed and you’d only be helping the need to continuously adopt out hybrids. But then again you did care about Yoongi like you never thought possible.

“You promised.”, Yoongi whispered next to you, he voice slightly cracking.

Staring at the ground because you didn’t have the courage to look him in the eyes you could sense his steps walking closer to Namjoon.

“I can go to a shelter. That’s fine.”, Yoongi suddenly spoke.

Surprised, Namjoon put on his best fake smile, “Sure thing. Let’s get you over there so you can get settled in then.”

Yoongi glanced at you before following quickly after Namjoon. You felt the familiar burning sensation of tears beginning to form.

“Hey, would you like to come stay back at my place. You can go back home in the morning.”,

Taehyung asked next to you.

Nodding your head you stood up and followed him out to his truck. Once back at his place Lilly ran out greeting you both with hugs. Taehyung went to take a shower while you followed Lilly into the kitchen. She offered you some tea as you sat down across from her.

“You love him don’t you?”, she asked smiling behind her teacup.

“Who?”

“Yoongi. I saw the way you were looking at him.”, she chuckled.

“I-I don’t know. I do care about him a lot.”

“So go get him. Bring him home with you tomorrow. That’s where you both want him to be.”

You shook your head, “No I don’t believe in hybrid ownership. It’s immoral and wrong.”

“Look Y/N, If you don’t adopt him then someone else surely will. You’re not doing him any favors. But I know how you feel. I used to have that same way of thinking. Then I met Tae. I didnt want to adopt him. I mean he was my boyfriend, but then we talked about it. What would happen if someone asked to see papers? Or godforbid he ended up in the hospital and I couldn’t prove anything. They’d take him away and I’d never see him again. At the end of the day it’s just a piece of paper. Nothing has to change between you and Yoongi.”

“I just…I don’t know. Of course I want Yoongi to live with me. I don’t want him to think of me as his owner though. I’m pretty sure I’ve got some feelings for him but what if he doesn’t feel the same?”

“Have you sat down and talked to him about it?”

You shook your head.

“Well that’s where you start. Then you make a decision from there. He seems like a smart guy. I bet he already knows what he wants.”

You took another sip of your tea before looking over at Lilly who was softly twisting her wedding raging.

“Did you ever worry about starting a relationship with Taehyung? Like how people would react?”

She laughed, “Oh yes of course! We both had our doubts when we first started dating. And I can still hear the whispers and see the fingers pointing whenever we go into town but we don’t care any more. We love each other and that’s all that matters. The only way to combat the discrimination is to prove to others that their hate can’t ruin you.”

Her words replayed in your head as you tossed and turned in bed trying to get some sleep. You wondered what Yoongi was up to. Was he sleeping well? Did they give him a nice meal? Had he thought about you at all?

After very little sleep you heard Taehyung and Lilly working in the kitchen. Quickly you packed what few belongings you had and headed downstairs. They greeted you with smiles and offered some breakfast. After you ate you thanked them for everything they had done for you and promised to keep in touch.

Taehyung helped you load your stuff into your car before walking back over to the drivers side where you were waiting.

“Alright you’re all packed up. Let me know when you get home safely.”

For some reason you couldn’t bring yourself to get in the car.

“Did you need anything else Y/N? I can get you some gas if you needed it.”

You shook your head before taking a deep breath., “So, umm… do you know where they took Yoongi last night?”

He flashed you the biggest boxy smiled you’d ever seen, “I was starting to get worried you’d never ask.”

After he punched in the address into your gps you began the drive there, quickly realizing you were on your way to Jins. Of course.

You sat in the parking lot for quite some time trying to work up the courage to go inside. You weighed the pros and cons of every possible scenario. As you sat there you saw Jimin, the Russian blue hybrid, happily running along with the young family who you were assuming had just adopted him. He smiled with pride as the families little girl clung onto him as they all loaded into their vehicle. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad after all. That was the final push you needed to walk inside the shelter greeted by Jin immediately.

“Y/N I was wondering when you’d show up. I bet Namjoon $20 you’d be here before noon so looks like he’ll have to pay up next time I see him.”

You rolled your eyes, “So I’m guessing you know why I’m here then?”

“Yep, already have the paperwork filled out. Just need a few signatures.”, he said placing the forms in front of you.

“Can I see him first? I want to make sure he’s okay with all of this.”

Jin sighed but of course he brought you back down the hall to the same room he was in last time.

“Yoongi you have a visitor.”, Jin said punching in the lock code.

“I told you I don’t want to see anyone.”, he responded. The hoarseness in his voice broke your heart. He had clearly been crying for quite a while.

“Come on now. You can’t sit in the corner and sulk all day.”

“Jin please just leave me alone. I told you I don’t want to be adopted by anyone but Y/N.”

That little confirmation gave you the confidence you needed to step forward, “Well then let’s go sign some paperwork so we can go home.”

Yoongi spun around so fast he got disoriented tripping over his own feet. You giggled as you tried to help him back up.

“Y/N you really came back for me?”

“Of course I did. I promised didn’t I?”

“I thought you were against adoptions so I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.”, he whispered.

You noticed he was wearing your hoodie. A small detail that made you smile.

“I think I can make an exception. As long as that’s what you want of course. And we agree to be equals.”

He didn’t even have to answer. When he walked over and wrapped his arms around you placing a soft kiss to your cheek, that was all the confirmation you needed.

[skywalker1dream]

Title: The uncertain future

note: im sorry if i hurt anyone.... believe i cried while writing this too.... i wanted happy ending but.....yea..dont hate me pleas.

Summary: As the sister of Lewis Hamilton, you watched the friendship between him and Nico Rosberg flourish and then crumble. Your heart, however, has always belonged to Nico. Now, with old wounds reopened and hidden feelings exposed, you find yourself torn between the love of your life and the brother you adore. In this tragic love story, you must make a heart-wrenching decision that will change everything.

Warnings: Angst, emotional conflict, family tension, panic attack

---------------------

The sound of engines roaring in the distance was a constant reminder of the world you lived in. The world where your brother, Lewis Hamilton, was a star, and where your heart had silently but steadfastly clung to Nico Rosberg.

You were standing at the edge of the paddock, watching as Lewis and Nico avoided each other, the tension between them palpable. It had been years since their friendship had broken down, and yet the pain was still fresh. You could see it in Lewis’s eyes whenever Nico’s name was mentioned, and you could feel it in the pit of your stomach whenever you saw Nico.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. The three of you had grown up together, sharing dreams and ambitions. But as Lewis and Nico’s rivalry intensified, so did the cracks in their friendship. You were caught in the middle, torn between the love for your brother and the hidden feelings you harbored for Nico.

Nico spotted you and walked over, his eyes softening as they met yours. “Hey, can we talk?” he asked quietly, his voice a blend of hope and hesitation.

You nodded, your heart pounding. “Sure, let’s go somewhere private.”

The two of you found a quiet corner away from the prying eyes of the media and the team. Nico took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair. “I can’t keep this to myself anymore. I know it’s complicated with Lewis and everything, but… I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember.”

Your breath caught in your throat. “Nico, I… I’ve felt the same way. But Lewis… he’ll never accept it.”

Nico reached out, taking your hands in his. “I know it’s not fair to ask you to choose, but I can’t pretend anymore. I need to know if there’s a chance for us, despite everything.”

Tears welled up in your eyes as you looked into his. “I want to be with you, Nico. But I don’t want to hurt Lewis. He’s my brother, and he’s already lost so much.”

“Then what do we do?” Nico’s voice was barely a whisper, his eyes searching yours for an answer.

“I don’t know,” you admitted, your voice breaking. “I don’t know how.....how to choose between you two.”

-----------------

The next few days were a blur of races, press conferences, and strained conversations. You avoided Lewis, knowing that your face would betray the turmoil inside you. But you couldn’t avoid him forever.

One evening, Lewis cornered you in your hotel room, his expression a mixture of confusion and hurt. “What’s going on with you and Nico?” he demanded, his voice tight with emotion.

You sighed, feeling the weight of the secret you had been carrying. “Lewis, I didn’t want to tell you because I knew it would hurt you. But… I’m in love with him. I have been for a long time.”

Lewis’s eyes widened, and he took a step back, as if physically struck by your words. “You’re in love with Nico? After everything he’s done?”

“It’s not that simple,” you pleaded, tears streaming down your face. “I love him, but I love you too. I don’t want to lose either of you.”

Lewis shook his head, his expression hardening. “You have to choose, [your name]. You can’t have both. If you’re with him, you’re betraying me.”

Your heart shattered at his words, the decision you had been dreading now laid bare before you. “Lewis, please don’t make me do this.”

“I’m sorry, but you have to,” he insisted, his voice cold and final. “It’s him or me.”

----------------

That night, you met Nico in the hotel lobby, your heart heavy with the decision you had made. He looked at you, hope and fear mingling in his eyes. “What did he say?”

You took a deep breath, the words tasting bitter on your tongue. “He said I have to choose. And I.....I choose him, Nico. I’m..... I’m so sorry.”

Nico’s face crumpled, and he pulled you into a tight embrace. “I understand. I always knew it might come to this. I just… I wish things were different.”

You clung to him, the tears flowing freely now. “So do I. More than anything.”

-------------------

The days that followed were a blur of pain and heartache. You watched as Nico moved on, his eyes losing some of their spark. Lewis, too, seemed more distant, a part of him closed off forever.

You had made your choice, but the cost was more than you could bear. In choosing your brother, you had lost the love of your life. And in losing Nico, you had lost a part of yourself.

As you stood alone at the edge of the paddock, the roar of the engines a distant echo, you couldn’t help but wonder if you had made the right choice. But some choices, once made, can never be undone.

One particularly grueling day, the weight of your decision bore down on you more heavily than usual. Every interaction felt hollow, every laugh forced. You felt like a ghost of yourself, drifting through life without purpose. The pressure built until you could no longer hold it back.

You were in the paddock, surrounded by the familiar noise and chaos of race day, when the panic attack hit. Your chest tightened, and it felt like you couldn’t breathe. The world spun around you, and your vision blurred. You stumbled, clutching at your chest as you tried to draw in a breath, but it felt like your lungs were being squeezed by an iron fist.

Lewis was the first to notice. He rushed to your side, his face etched with worry. “[your name], what’s wrong? Talk to me!”

You couldn’t speak. All you could do was shake your head, tears streaming down your face as you fought for air. Lewis wrapped his arms around you, his voice a soothing murmur in your ear. “It’s okay. Just breathe. I’m here.”

Gradually, the world came back into focus, and you managed to draw in a shaky breath. But the relief was short-lived. The emotional dam broke, and you snapped.

“This is all your fault!” you screamed, pushing Lewis away. “You....you made me choose! You made me give up the love of my life!”

Lewis’s face fell, hurt and confusion mixing in his eyes. “[ your name], I didn’t want to hurt you. I thought I was protecting you.”

“Protecting me?” you spat, the anger boiling over. “You tore my heart in two! You made me choose between you and Nico, and now I’m broken. I can’t....I can’t live like this anymore, Lewis. I can’t live without him.”

Lewis’s expression crumpled, and he reached out to you, but you stepped back. “I need to fix this. I need to be with Nico.”

Before he could respond, you turned and fled, your heart pounding as you made your way to Nico’s home. Every step felt like a race against time, a desperate bid to reclaim the happiness you had lost.

------------

When you arrived at Nico’s door, you hesitated, your hand hovering over the doorbell. What if it was too late? What if he had moved on, leaving you behind in the wreckage of your choices?

But you had to try. Taking a deep breath, you rang the bell.

After a few moments, the door opened. But it wasn’t Nico who stood before you. It was a woman, her expression one of polite curiosity. “Can I help you?”

Your heart plummeted. “I… I’m looking for Nico. Is he here?”

The woman hesitated, glancing over her shoulder before looking back at you. “He’s not here right now. Can I tell him who’s asking?”

You swallowed hard, fighting back the tears. “Just… tell him [your name] stopped by.”

She nodded, offering a sympathetic smile. “I’ll let him know.”

As the door closed, you stood there, feeling the weight of the world crashing down on you. It was too late. Nico had moved on, and you were left standing on the doorstep of what could have been.

----------------------

The drive back was a blur. You felt numb, the pain of your decision and the realization of its consequences settling like a leaden weight in your chest. When you arrived at your hotel, Lewis was waiting for you, his expression a mixture of concern and guilt.

“Did you find him?” he asked quietly.

You shook your head, unable to meet his eyes. “He’s not there. He’s with someone else now.”

Lewis stepped closer, his hand resting gently on your shoulder. “I’m so sorry, darling. I never wanted to hurt you.”

Tears spilled down your cheeks as you finally looked at him. “But you did, Lewis. And now I’ve lost everything...”

He pulled you into a hug, holding you tightly as you sobbed into his chest. “We’ll get through this. I promise.”

But as you clung to him, the void inside you remained. The love you had lost, the life you had given up, all of it weighed heavily on your heart.

[bluesidez]

HEY POOKS. Could you write a DBF!Miguel x dancer!reader. He just loves to watch her dance in competitions and recitals and helps her practice her routine by counting out 8’s for her <333

( maybe he can give reader a reward for doing so well but idk 🤭 )

[Rehearsal]

lab tester: Anonymous Participant (Hi @snails-doodles22) 🩻

summary: Miguel keeps you grounded as you prepare for a dance competition. 

content warning: age gap (abeg she’s 21+), secret relationship, fluff, like two suggestive?? lowkey explicit scenes so MINORS BEWARE, a few thoughts of frustration/failure but nothing serious just the thoughts of an artist

word count: 1.9k, halfway proofread

a/n: Hi hi!! This one was really a challenge for me!! and Idk if I’ll write DBF again ngl Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy it! I leaned more on the age gap aspect of the relationship and pulled from how I felt when practicing for my own recitals/competitions 🤠! (I get extremely snappy and mean lol)

A Grand Adage (as best as I, not a professional ballerina but I practiced for 3 years, can explain) is a slower dance move where you stretch your leg to the front, side, and back without losing your balance. You also have to switch legs…I think. It looks like it takes a LOT of core strength, especially without a partner.

I don’t think I mention it in the story, but I’m imagining this Miguel to have salt and pepper hair, but like, in its early stages. So only a few strands of gray. 

“Damn it.”

The music started to sound more and more jaded as you failed another Grand Adage after powering through the more fast-paced part of your routine. 

You don’t know why you had the bright idea to add the most pain-inducing ballet moves to your contemporary piece, but you were starting to hate yourself for it. It was supposed to represent a crash and burn of rushing perfection which was ironic because you were feeling those emotions tenfold.

“You’re not going to get it if you keep trying to force it like that.” You heard Miguel from across the room and the music finally stopped. “It’s a pause between those last two counts. You know this, chiquita.”

You huffed out a chuckle as you got up, “Knowing and doing are two different things. I know what’s coming, which is why I keep anticipating it and messing it up.”

“The studio is all yours for a few more hours,” Miguel sighed. “Take a breath and try it again.”

“That’s so easy for you to say. You’re not the one busting your ass,” you mumbled as you got back into your starting position. 

Miguel crossed his arms, head leaning on the wall above the barre, “You want to say that again?”

You dropped your arms and stared at him, face blank. 

After a minute or so of you going silent, he unfolded his arms and beckoned you towards him. 

You dragged your feet to get to him, hands hugging yourself. 

“I know you want this to be perfect, but snapping at me isn’t going to help that.” His hands made their way to the back of your thighs, rubbing up and down the tightened muscles. 

“I’m sorry, I just-” you rubbed your eyes with your palms. “The competition is so soon and I keep fucking the routine up.”

“And you’ve also done it perfectly countless other times. You’ve got this! I know you do. I’ve seen how much work you’ve put into dancing and that’s not going to change.”

“But Miguel-”

“But nothing. I’ve seen how you become a new person on the stage. You demand the attention of your audience in a way that your peers can’t. You’re captivating and alluring so I’m not going to sit here and let you think otherwise.”

You look at him with a face that says “I know you’re right, but I don’t want you to be,” and just fall onto his lap, wallowing in his arms while you breathe in his cologne. 

He nuzzled you on the head, hands patting at your ass, hands warm and firm through your tights, “Now can you try again for me?”

“Can I have a kiss?” you say, lips rivaling a rubber duckie. 

He chuckles at you but obliges, heart too soft when it comes to you. 

You get up with new ambition, taking a deep breath as you stride back to the middle of the room. 

“I’m going to count out loud for you this time, is that ok?”

“Yeah,” you reply, arms molding into a sharp form. 

When the music starts this time, you hone in on Miguel’s voice, taking leaps and turns with his timbre. Your heart thumps all the same, but your brain isn’t as loud. 

As the Grand Adage comes again, Miguel’s voice stays calm, never wavering. You tighten your core and lift your leg high, hands framed beautifully and foot pointed sharp as you hold your arms above your head. As you bring your leg back down to begin to turn, your heart almost stops when your body remains stable and strong. You can’t believe it but try to keep the piece's emotion steady. 

You switch legs without trouble, eyes catching Miguel watching your form in the mirror. His face is serious but you can’t hear that in his voice, making you feel fuzzy. You keep up the pace, repeating the same move but gearing up to do an Illusion.

Like a flash, you bring your leg down and bend your body, foot spinning swiftly to perform the trick. Your heartbeat is roaring in your ears as you move through the rest of the routine, mind too excited from your success to completely portray the ending emotions of dance. 

Once you finish, you’re quick to get out of your position, face lit up as you turn to Miguel. When you run to him, you’re screaming with glee. He only stumbles a bit when you jump in his arms, body wrapped around him like a koala. 

“Miguel! Did’ya see it? Oh my god, I can’t believe it,” you laughed as he spun you around.

“I told you you could do it, amor. You just needed to get out of your head.”

“Ok ok, three more times and I think I’ll be ready to leave.”

“Well let’s get busy, chiquita. We’ve got work to do.”

You run through the routine again and again, becoming more confident each time. After every successful routine, Miguel’s praises get more and more loving. First a deep hug, then a few pecks to the lips, then a makeout session that has you squirming for more. 

“Is your dad picking you up today?” he said, lips on your neck.

You turn your nose up at the mention of him, “No, I took the bus.”

“Could have asked me to drop you off.”

“You were at work, Miggy. Didn’t want to bother you.”

“You’re never a bother,” he stopped to move his forehead to yours. “You can come over tonight. You need to relax after all of this hard work.”

“And what do I tell my dad when he asks where I am?” your eyes pan from his eyes to his lips, fingers reaching up to go through his hair. 

“Tell him you’re at a girlfriend’s house.”

You twist your mouth to the side, pretending to think.

“How are you planning to relax me?”

“A hot bath.”

You snickered, knowing better than to believe that was all he was planning to do, but taking his word for it. 

Hours later when you were laid on your back, hands gripping the sheets below you and Miguel holding your legs up as he stroked deep inside, your suspicions were confirmed. Your skin was soft from the bath and your muscles were like jelly after he spent an hour massaging every tight muscle out of you. The room was full of him, his smell surrounding you, and the noises of him attending to your every need. With every cry of his name, he brought you closer to the horizon. 

On the day of your competition, you didn’t even look at Miguel before you went on, nerves too bad. If he gave you a pep talk, internally, you would be appreciative, but externally, you might tell him to leave you the fuck alone. 

Knowing how you get, he supported you in the best way he could by sending you messages and a light breakfast in the morning. 

“Break a leg, chiquita”

“Not literally of course”

“I’ll be waiting for you once it’s over”

“With a surprise :)”

It was enough to fill you with anticipation, ready to give it all on the floor.

Once your number was called, you went to the center and got into position. The crowd was dark enough to feel like it was just you in the room, but your heart knew otherwise with how fast it was beating. 

When the music starts, it’s like Miguel’s voice is a soundtrack playing through your memory. You can’t see him, but you can feel him in the crowd cheering you on. Your feet move across the floor, body tightening and relaxing when needed. Your face wears a frustrated expression, portraying the sentiment of everything falling out of control. Your leaps and turns come one after another moving your form across the stage. 

The Grand Adage comes to you like lightning, you don’t even notice you’re doing it until it happens. The muscle memory takes over and you transition to the Illusion like it's nothing. Your mind wanders as you go through to the end of the routine, finishing strongly with your pose on the floor.

The cheers of the audience are what bring you back to reality. A feeling of relief washes over you as you stand and bow, smiling brightly. 

Standing with the other dancers from your category, you don’t expect the judges to call your name for first place, so when they all turn to look at you, you feel like you might have walked out in your underwear by accident. 

It isn’t until you’re handed a bouquet of flowers and a trophy that it dawns on you that your hard work has paid off. The check was no measly amount of money either. 

Looking out to the crowd, you can see Miguel standing up with his hands cupped over his mouth as he yells. Your family is standing next to him cheering as well. You wave at them, jumping up and down in excitement. Only you can see the wink Miguel gives you. 

When you meet them out in the lobby, you have to stop yourself from keeping your attention on Miguel. 

“You did amazing, honey,” your dad says, squeezing the life out of you. “That flip thing? I don’t know how you did it, but wow!”

“It’s called an Illusion,” Miguel shakes his head. “Keep up.”

“What are you, her coach or something?”

“C’mon you guys,” your mom fusses. “Don’t start bickering in the building. At least wait until we get dinner.”

“‘M gonna ride with Miguel,” you say to them. 

Knowing how much you like his car, your parents think nothing of it and walk out to their own car. 

Once they’re out the door, he turns and gives you a deep kiss, “You did such a good job. I’m so proud of you.”

“I just remembered what you said. Kept it in the back of my mind while I performed.”

He smiled and wrapped his hands around your waist, “Yeah?”

You nod and bring his lips to yours again. 

“Where’s my surprise?”

“Always so impatient.”

“You wouldn’t like me any other way.”

“Tienes rázon,” Miguel chuckled. 

Miguel brings a sparkly gift bag to your attention, placing it in your hands. You reach into the bag, tissue paper falling to the floor. You pull out an envelope and a long velvet box. 

You open the box, eyes glittering when you see the necklace inside. 

“Miguel, this is adorable!” 

“Here,” he takes the necklace out of the box. “Let me help you put it on.”

You turn and focus your attention on the envelope, fingers sliding under the sealed flap. 

Your breath halts when you pull the tickets out.

“To Paris?”

You turn to him once your necklace is latched together, eyes teary from happiness.

“You’ve been doing so amazing, I wanted to treat you to an amazing trip.”

“How much did this cost?”

“Nothing that you should worry your head about.”

You crowd his space, kissing his face all over, “Thank you so much, Miguel.”

“Of course. Anything for my girl.”

“I don’t want to go out to dinner now,” you sigh dramatically.

“Yeah? You know we can’t bail, though.”

“Not even if I give my thanks to you in the car?”

Miguel bit the inside of his cheek, watching you grin at him. He’s really way too soft when it comes to you. 

“Vamos.”

As always, like, reblog, and COMMENT. Let me know how you guys feel! 🩵

[nattinatalia]

Jack Harlow x Reader Instagram AU

- (Mía is 18 and EZ is 15 here)

•

Liked by jackharlow, yourusername, urbanwyatt, ezharlow, cassiewyatt, and 5,887,345 others

alizemiaharlow We’re B🅰️ck 🩸

View all 2,00 comments

yourusername Yayyy, can’t wait to watch.

alizemiaharlow ����🏻 ❤️

jackharlow Proud of you 💜

alizemiaharlow 🥺 thanks dad 💜

urbanwyatt My niece is all grown up 😢 proud of you princess.

alizemiaharlow 🥺🫶🏼 thank you Nino

•

Liked by cassiewyatt, yourusername, jackharlow, alizemiaharlow, and 6,877,345 others

ezharlow Gazebo Festival ready 🤘🏼 let’s go!!!

View all 1,200 comments

yourusername 😍 That’s my baby boy!!!

ezharlow 🥰 love you ama’

alizemiaharlow 🤮 🙄

cassiewyatt Okkkkk basic fit goes crazy 🔥

ezharlow I hate you! Why are you always coming for my fits?

cassiewyatt Because you dress like every other white boy, step it up.

druski HAHAHAHAHAHA 😂😂😂

ezharlow Shut up with your fungus looking feet

jackharlow Angel Ezequiel

ezharlow Sorry uncle Dru

druski Nahh own that shit up 😂

•

Liked by jackharlow, yourusername, urbanwyatt, ezharlow, and 6,234,986 others

alizemiaharlow A time was had 💥 Day 1 was a success.

View all 2,300 comments

yourusername Yesssss today was fun.

jackharlow Thanks for showing up bug 🐞

alizemiaharlow Always 🤝🏻❤️

cozane It was soo good to see you kid. Don’t forget about us.

alizemiaharlow Uncle Avatar 🥺 never everrrr could I forget about you. Even though I’m upset that I didn’t get a care package but don’t worry, I made sure to cop on my own 🤘🏼🥰

cozane What the? I did send you a package, you were literally the only one who got everything.

alizemiaharlow 🤷🏻‍♀️

ezharlow About that 🫣

cozane Punk ass you got your own

ezharlow I needed more?

alizemiaharlow 🙄

•

Liked by jackharlow, alizemiaharlow, ezharlow, cassiewyatt, urbanwyatt, and 6,877,345 others

yourusername Proud of you baby! Always. I’m always team you and your art. I know things didn’t go as planned for day 2, but seeing how happy you were last night, made me emotional and beyond happy. You put in so much dedication, sweat and tears into this, you should feel very proud because I’m very proud of you. Thank you for allowing me to be part of night 1, it was so special to me. I love you for ever and always. I can’t wait what you have planned next.

View all 1,200 comments

alizemiaharlow Superstars ⭐️ ✨

ezharlow My parents are the shit 😎

jackharlow I love you 🥺 thank you for accepting to perform, I know you were a little thrown off by the idea. It’s us against the world, this is a new era and I can’t wait to takeover with you.

cassiewyatt ❤️❤️

claybornharlow 🔥

user of course she was going to perform 🙄 she was the bathroom break 😂

user no way was she going to perform after Queen SZA that would’ve been dead asf 😂

alizemiaharlow People like you is the reason why my mom was iffyyy about the idea to perform. But I’m glad she did, she did amazing, per usual. You’re just mad my dad is her number one fan and includes her in everything, sorry your dad can’t do that for your mom.

ezharlow 💀 Send me your addyyy, I’ll send some autographed pictures of my dad so you’re not so bitter!

allabouttheharlows One thing about Mia and EZ, they’re gonna defend Jack and Y/N

ezharlow They regret ever giving us permission to be on social media 🤣

jackharlow 🫣 We do.

•

- SURPRISE!!!!!!

I know it’s a surprise for me as well.

Life has bee, interesting, it’s been testing me daily, but I’ve seen some growth within myself and it did me good being away. I see all the messages you guys continue to send me, I feel guilty not replying but I didn’t want to give false hope of me being back 100%! I don’t want to commit just yet, but I do want to come with a schedule for me being here and posting. So let me know which days work for you guys best.

•

TAG LIST

@heavyhitterheaux @harlowsbby @arination99 @cmalass @jackharloww @minkookie95 @deannaard @jacksmoviestar @harlowcomehome @fdl305 @httpkoylinnn @xoxokiaraaxoxo @hoodharlow @automaticpeachsong @amethyst09 @aliciacat20 @allyson15 @gabbylovesreading @stefansalvatoresgf @violetdreamsworld @carma-fanficaddict @jasminxts @itsaaliyah2 @itsyagirljaz @harrycanyonmoonn @neon-lights-and-glitter @awhore4moree @toocriticalharlow @thefemalestorywriter @lightsoutstyles @violetslays818 @fantasywritersstuff @vanwritesfan-fiction

[razorblade180]

9 days of Lancaster Day 4: Aftermath

Being a hero isn’t easy, Ruby never thought it was. However, she wished someone told her how much harder it was when walking through sand daily. With another eventful day behind her, Ruby retires to her room and goes limp onto her bed.

knock knock knock

Ruby:I will eat dinner later, Yang.

Jaune:Ummm, guess again?

Ruby raises up like a zombie out of horror film and sits on the edge of the bed. Jaune had been turning in early since they returned and things immediately got pretty busy, so him knocking on her door was a big surprise. She tells him to come in and the knight slowly enters before shutting the door and leaning against it.

Ruby:Heeeyyy…

Jaune:Heh, hi. You…holding up well?

Ruby:Being popular around here is an adjustment alongside the heat, but yeah. I’d say so.

Jaune:Good. That’s good….

Ruby:…Umm so how are you?

Jaune:Ups and downs. It’s funny; somedays I dreamed about coming back but now that it’s happened it feels like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like I’m gonna wake up one day and be right back where I started.

Ruby:Hey, this is real. We’re back. You’re back.

Jaune:I know. It’s an adjustment I guess.

Ruby:You’re telling me. Nothing quite feels like it used to. But…maybe that’s good? At least I hope so.

Jaune:…..Ruby, about what I said, I-

Ruby:Jaune, it’s okay. You have nothing to apologize for. I bottled things up until it popped, while you could only echo your worries. If anything I should apologize for the things I said.

Jaune:Heh, well that doesn’t seem fair.

He walked over and sat right next to her. The both of them sighed.

Jaune:I’m sorry I made you cry. You’re selfless and I pinned my problems on you when I shouldn’t have.

Ruby:…I’m a little selfish. We both weren’t our best selves in that moment. Jaune? Are we going to be okay?

Jaune:I’m sure you’ll-

Ruby:Stop excluding yourself!

Jaune:…

Ruby:Look, I…*wipes eyes* I know there’s a lot for us to unpack; a lot for you to process after years of solitude. I can’t imagine that at all and I know you’ve heard countless times that everyone is here for you, so let me make this clear. Jaune, I need you. I wouldn’t have gotten this far if you weren’t by my side. You’ve been by my side when others weren’t; all the way back to blowing up the courtyard.

Jaune:Heh, gods that feels like forever ago.

Ruby:Bit by bit I’m gonna work on myself. It’ll be tough but I don’t want to lose what matters to me, so please, never stop fighting your battles. Don’t do it alone; believe you’ll be okay because I don’t know what I would do without you in my li-

In the midst of fear and tears, Jaune took her breath away. His hands gently held her face as he pressed his lips against hers; an action that immediately made Ruby swell with emotion. Tears flowed more as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and leaned deeply into the kiss. Despite what people think, Ruby always found it difficult to put her thoughts into words. Fortunately, her words reached and her actions were more than enough. The way her tears spoke her concerns while her grip on a worn hoodie expressed her yearning for him to stay right by her. Her body shivered yet still melted in his embrace. Only time could tell how comfortable things between them would be, but at least one desire came through crystal clear.

“Don’t leave me. Never leave me.”