#I’m timing myself because I am finally entertaining commissions

[atomic-thomas]

(Fake ASMR Commission) Yandere Giantess Kidnaps You [REMAKE]

*giant footstep sounds right out the gate until specified stopping point*

“Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum! How much longer are you able to run?”

…

“You know I’m just toying with you, right? I’m walking slowly on purpose. I can end this silly game whenever I want.”

…

“It’s a game to me. I find it quite entertaining to watch you try & flee, futile as it is. By all means… Continue running as fast as your little legs can carry you. It amuses me. Ahaha~”

…

“Aww, what’s the matter? Slowing down already? Tiring out so soon? But I was having so much fun.”

*footstep sounds stop*

“Pity… It appears that you’ve tripped over a tree branch. Such a shame. Now you lay there… Exhausted… And helpless. Now it’s my turn to strike.”

“Here comes my giant hand~ Hehe~”

“Now… To firmly wrap my fingers around you… And clench my fist shut.”

“You’re all mine now. Mine to do whatever I want with. What shall I do? Hmmm… Perhaps I could… Crush you~ Or maybe even… Eat you~ You’d probably taste delicious.”

…

“You really want me to just get it over with already. My, my… I didn’t think you’d be so eager to meet your fate. Very well. If you insist.”

“Mmm~” *kiss sound*

…

“Ahahahahahahahaha~! I wish you could see the look on your face right now! I’ve never seen such a stark expression of shock & confusion on anyone before.”

“Ahhhhh… Well, I suppose the jig is up now. I’ll just go ahead & say it.”

“All of that… Was a jest.”

…

“Hehehe~ You certainly look delighted to hear that. I never had any intention of hurting you. I would never do that to you.”

…

“I did all that because… It’s just fun acting like a storybook fairytale giant. With that poetic catchphrase & the menacing facade. Flaunting my incredible size & awesome strength.”

“But it was all just for show. A bravado. A spectacle. In reality… I’m actually quite the soft-hearted individual.”

…

“Don’t mince words, little one. Being soft-hearted doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m ‘Pure’-hearted. Despite everything… I have a confession to make.”

“There’s another reason why I did this.”

…

“My reason for picking you up is because… I’m kidnapping you now. Not exactly something a pure-hearted person would do.”

*giant footstep sounds continue until specified stopping point*

“I know that sounds alarming seeing that I just spared your life. But I shall explain where I’m taking you & what my plans are. I think it’ll be of great interest to you. So please remain calm & hear me out.”

“I’m very deeply in love with you.”

…

“Do I really have to justify myself? What do you want me to say? ‘Oh, darling~ I love you because X, Y & Z~! I’d go to any length to show you my dedication~! I’ll destroy anyone who does so little as breathe in your direction~!’ Or other such ridiculous Yandere stereotypes.”

…

“Yes… I am a Yandere. I’m well aware of that fact. Although… To be honest… I barely qualify. I’m more of a Soft Yandere.”

…

“Tell me, little one. What comes to mind when you think of Yanderes? Crazed obsessive girls who’ve driven themselves insane over their romantic interests & build shrines for them? Blood-stained knives? Black-mailing? Other such criminal activity?”

…

“Yeah, you see… None of those apply to me. I’d much rather not bring harm to others. It’s wrong. And it would also make me a huge target. I know better.”

“I’m surprised that I was willing to go as far as kidnapping you. This hyperfixation I have towards you is hard to resist.”

…

“The reason I chose you instead of anyone else… Let alone a fellow giant… Is for the same reason why I love you.”

“There is no reason. It’s unconditional.”

…

“Do you finally realize the situation you’re in? A beautiful, powerful giantess has decided to dedicate her time & energy to you. And devote her entire life to loving you. Just because.”

…

“Okay, well… Fine. You got me. It’s not JUST because. I admittedly don’t like being lonely. I was just torn for so long as to whether or not I was willing to kidnap a human for my cause. And well… Here we are.”

…

“Yes… It IS selfish. I won’t defend my imperfect behavior. But then again… I wasn’t trying to be perfect anyway. And I don’t think you’d do that either. Most people probably wouldn’t.”

“So tell me… How do you feel about getting kidnapped now that you know all of this information?”

…

“Still unsure. Well… Since you are to be my partner for life… It’s out of love & respect that I should listen to your concerns. What are you worried about?”

…

“No… You’re not going to be my ‘Pet’. That would be so degrading. Imagine… Locking you in a cage… Feeding you unfulfilling crumbs of my food… And watching as you wallow in a prison of boredom for the rest of your life. You’d surely go mad. You deserve better.”

“I don’t want you to feel restricted or restrained in our relationship. I want you to feel free. To feel as if you were never kidnapped in the first place.”

“I want this relationship to feel normal… And equal.”

“You want that to… Don’t you? Do you understand now? We’ll be so much better off together. It’s mutually beneficial.”

“Just say that you love me… Please…”

…

“Haaaaahhhhhhh~ My heart feels like it’s fluttering! Thank You so much, darling.”

“Mmm~ *kiss sound*

…

“Oh! Yeah.. Haha… I still haven’t told you where we’re going. It’s just my home. Plain & simple.”

“Well… Maybe it’s not so plain & simple. I actually live in a hollowed out mountain. I didn’t feel like settling for a traditional giant home. They take up so much real estate. So I went for something more natural. And… Bonus… It has a clean waterfall in it. So I have a perpetual shower that’s active all the time. It’s great!”

…

“Well… Yes. I still need giant furniture & other various utilities. Can’t really survive without the essentials, you know?

“Anyway, we’ll be there soon. I know exactly what we should do when we arrive. You’re going to love it. And I know I will to.”

*footstep sounds stop*

……….

*door opening & closing sound*

“Here we are. Quite spacious, isn’t it? This mountain is enormous. Perfect for a giantess such as myself. And the luminous mushrooms make for great natural lighting. It’s so cozy.”

“Speaking of cozy… Would you like to cuddle on the couch? Twas what I had in mind.”

…

“Well, obviously we can’t cuddle in the traditional sense due to our drastic size disparity. But that’s okay. I know just the thing.”

“I’ll lay down… Place you on my bosom… And cover you with my hands. You know what that means, right?”

…

“Indeed. You’re going to be in the softest, warmest & most loving embrace that you’ve ever experienced in your entire life. So let’s do it.”

…

“Alright… Now… To place you on my chest… And rest my hands over you.”

*heartbeat sound for the rest of the audio*

“There we go. Hahhhhh~ This is so nice.”

“You can hear my heartbeat, right? It must be booming for you. Mighty, yet soothing. Good for the mind, body & soul.”

“I’m going to brush your hair with my thumb now, okay? Just want to make sure that you aren’t surprised by it.”

*swedish fish kun or grennifer intensifies for the rest of the audio*

“No matter how small you are compared to me, it doesn’t change the fact that you’re still a person. I promise to always show you utmost respect.”

…

“Of course you can venture out & do your own thing. I’m not your captor. I’m your partner. If you want to visit your friends & family then that’s perfectly alright. In fact… You should introduce me to them sometime.”

…

“Well… Yeah. They might be afraid & bewildered at the sight of me, but… You’ll put in a good word for me, right?”

…

“Hehe~ I knew you would.”

“I love you, darling~”

_______________________________________________

THE END

[designsfromtime]

WANT TO LEARN TO SEW YOUR OWN COSTUME?

After a decade of back-to-back commissions, I’m shifting my focus from creating costumes to teaching my techniques and walking students through step-by-step on-line courses that will be available through Teachable.com.

I’ve been working without any substantial time off since 2013! The only time off during the year I took was the month of August to participate as a cast member at the Washington Midsummer Renaissance faire each year. That’s not really a vacation ya’ll! I direct a fiber arts demonstration group so while I wasn’t sewing, I was still working as an entertainer!

While I am SOOO grateful for the success I’ve had with a full commission schedule booked out one to two years in advance, I need to free myself to travel, finish writing my historical based novels and FINALLY publish them, and sew for the passion of it again! – Hell, sew for myself and my family again because I “want to” rather than have to! Americans are notorious for taking their passion and torturing it until you end up hating what used to bring you joy. So, I’m changing that!

At 63 It’s time for me to take my 50 years of experience sewing, and my 20+ years of historical costume construction, and pay it forward to a new generation! My courses will be very detailed, with step-by-step videos, printed handouts, and a private Facebook page for my paying students. I will be able to answer questions, post videos to answer questions when necessary, and my students can post pictures of their work and support each other.

While I’m not closing down my Etsy store, I have drastically pared back my listings and will only be taking commissions for projects that inspire my creativity.

I am currently booked out to January 2025, but after that I’m closing my commission books for a year or so to concentrate on teaching and writing. Once my courses are filmed and uploaded, I will open my books again but will only take a limited number of commissions every year - or not at all if my sewing courses take off. I’m leaving my options open!

I’m hoping to have the first course available by January 2024. If you’re interested in taking my courses, I recommend following me on Facebook. I will be posting information there as well as my TicToc and Instagram. I’m not on Tumblr very often but will ‘TRY’ to keep ya’ll posted.

My first class will be a 16th century kirtle (bodice and skirt) like you see in the picture above. I will be offering my students a custom drafted pattern for their kirtle bodice at a cost of $30. The listing is available on my Etsy store. 

Other classes will include:

-        18th century stays

-        16th Century men’s doublets

-        16th century children’s clothing

-        16th century smocks

-        And more!  - - Tell me what YOU want to learn sew!

I will also be offering blackwork cuff and collars to my students, and I’m kicking around the idea of offering to embroider your fabrics for noble gowns - just the skirt facings, bodice front, sleeves and “maybe” the forepart (under skirt) - of course for a fee. Embroidery fees can be rather pricy, but I charge the industry standard of $1.00 to $1.50 per 1000 stitches. 

So, stay tuned for more information and thank you for all your support!

[hannahssimblr]

Chapter Ten

January is long, and February, somehow even longer. It brings with it the kind of biting cold winds that make my face hurt and indignance rise inside me at the injustice of having to be outside in it. I try to manoeuvre my useless fingerless gloves over my knuckles as though they might provide even the tiniest bit of extra heat to my hands, but it’s already too late. I’ve let the cold invade, and by now there’s nothing I can do to prevent the cold spasms that rip through to my bones. 

It is five in the evening. I’ve been here since the morning, once Simon reluctantly allowed me to take a day of work away from the studio, but it’s been relentlessly cold since I arrived. The sun will set in an hour from now and I will lose the light, so I forge on anyway, tracing a careful line with the nozzle of the spray paint along the brick at the gable end of the bookshop that commissioned me. It is my first mural on a building, not a window, but nobody seemed to doubt my ability to do it when they approached me. Nobody except for me, and while I didn’t express it, I doubted it, and I still doubt it, even now. 

 I reach around at my feet for the cherry red paint can and rattle it before spraying a wide, confident arc across the brick. Does it look good? Does any of this look good? I’ve been nose to nose with it for so many hours now that I can hardly even tell what it is. The paint stains my finger tip red. Just about every inch of me must be dusted with paint at this point, as the wind has been blowing it back on me in clouds and leaving speckles all over my skin and clothes. I eye the streak of teal paint that has run down the side of my middle finger and dried there, and I silently curse at it, knowing how badly it will stain as I pull my vibrating phone from my pocket. 

Don’t suppose you’re free for a call tonight? 

I wish. I’m never free anymore. 

Sorry, I have a date at the medieval torture chamber. 

Gym with Shane?

Yep. 

And in those rare times that I am, Jude isn’t. We’ve been missing each other for weeks, like trains passing on the tracks, what with my work, the increase in commissions, more cards to design, I’ve been finding myself cooped up in the studio until late into the evening sometimes. And Jude, he’s working hard on his final projects. He spends as much time in his studio as I do. Sometimes the only meaningful correspondence I’ll get from him in a given week is a photograph of whatever modernist chunk of plaster or clay he’s working on lately, and this week is shaping up to be another just like that, only I’ll be the one sending some hasty close up of a few swipes of paint and trying to convince him that I’m getting paid to do this. 

We haven’t caught up in so long.

I like to imagine that he’s desperately sad about this fact, miserable and missing me terribly, when in fact he’s probably just bored at home again, Jonas likely out somewhere without him and whatever silly movie he’s put on the television has stopped being entertaining. 

At this rate I won’t see you until I come over.

Yeah, what the hell. How have we not spoken in over a month?

Probably because I hate you and I’m avoiding you. 😉 We’ll have a proper catch up in Berlin. 

He sends me a crocodile emoji, which has become our private code for “goodbye” as in, “See you later, alligator”. I type one back and get on with what I was doing, and paint another broad, sweeping line in that delicious cherry red paint. I last ten more minutes without an interruption, and there is a voice from behind me. 

“Well.”

I whirl around. “Ugh, hi Shane.”

“Delighted to see me, are you?”

“Honestly it’s a bit like a bad omen when you appear.”

I yank my protective mask from my mouth while he huffs out a laugh. “Ready for the gym?” I groan in protest, but I gather my things anyway, stacking all of the spray paint bottles into a giant canvas bag and rolling up the tarp. We stop by Mezzotint to store all of it in the studio and let me change out of my painty clothes in the employee bathroom and then we take the Luas into town to the gym. 

Shane decides to show me mercy, and lets me spend our session in the pool, so while he heads to the gym and does his usual routine, I swim lengths of the fast lane and keep strict count of the number so that I can brag about it when he comes to use the health suite. I reached a point suddenly, a month or two ago, where my lungs and limbs didn’t burn so badly during my swimming lessons, and in fact, despite the inevitable dread that the gym instils in me, once I’m actually in the pool I find myself enjoying it. I swim to the end, turn and come back, over and over as the smooth hands on the big clock rotate, and finally I anchor myself to the lip of the pool as Shane crouches in front of me, hair wet from the shower. 

“How many?” He wants to know. 

“Sixty lengths.”

“Many breaks?”

“None.”

He nods with approval and says “good stuff.” Which is the highest compliment available. I struggle out onto the tiles with trembling arms and follow him to the health suite sauna where we sit, ragged breaths, and the water that rolls off our bodies dissolves into mist as it drips onto the benches. 

“How’s college?” I say. 

“Grand.”

“Full on now, I’d say, is it? With the final exams kind of looming on the horizon a bit.”

He shrugs. “I dunno, I suppose so.” 

Shane did not fail his Christmas exams. He didn’t pass them with flying colours by any means but Shane being Shane, has never once done poorly at anything he has attempted. As far as I know he has never failed a test, and it’s evident by now that it’s not for lack of trying. The final exams are Claire’s newest worry, as she’s convinced he’s yet to open a single textbook. 

“And the football?” I venture, and watch as his shoulders slump. “It’s good, it’s busy and all. I dunno. I’ve a few things to kind of think about in terms of it. You know, like, some things to consider.”

I nod. “Must be tricky to balance it all, like what with the training and college and all. I can’t imagine how hard it is.”

He glances at me with a furrowed brow as though what I’ve just said has nothing to do with what he was talking about, but he throws me a consolatory “Yeah.” anyway, clearly not bothered to explain what he meant. 

“Pity you can’t come to Berlin.” I pivot. “It’d be nice if you were there, like, I know you’ve visited before and all, but I think it’ve been a fun friends thing to do altogether. Not often we all get to hang out now that we’re so busy.”

“Nice for Claire to have time away on her own though.” He says. “I think a bit of distance would do her good, a bit of space.” and I wonder if he means from Dublin or from him. 

“I’m a bit nervous to go.” I admit, which prompts him to look right at me for the first time since we came inside. “Why?”

“I’m not sure, I suppose it’s been years since I’ve been out of Ireland, like, been in a different country with a different language and… like, I dunno I suppose I’m nervous to be around Jude and all his friends.”

“They’re just more of the typical artist types, nothing to get that excited about.” He eyes me for a moment before adding “They’re not going to think you’re uncool, or whatever it is that you’re worrying about. Nobody cares about that type of thing except for you.”

“I don’t care if they think I’m uncool.” I lie defensively. 

“Right. So is it about Astrid then? Do you think she’s going to tear you a new one?”

I stare at him, startled. “What are you on about?”

“Astrid, like.”

“I have no idea what you mean.”

He rolls his eyes and gets up, slinging his towel over his shoulder. “I’m sure you don’t, Evie, you fecking dope.” He says, and then pushes his way out into the cool air of the poolside. 

Beginning // Prev // Next

[officialangelkeys]

One flower One Sword (ENGLISH COVER)

Lyrical Analysis (一花一劍) – Heaven Official’s Blessing ( 天官赐福) Below (TLDR: I wrote english trans-lyrics to One Flower, One Sword theme from Heaven Official's Blessing)

Music + Writing commissions are open! x

Hey! How goes it? If you are only looking for the lyrics, you are in the wrong place! This link will take you to where you want to go! 

This is a lyrical analysis of why I chose the phrasing, and/or to explain certain components as I understood it at the time of working on this. I really do encourage everyone to read the book/take a peak at the Donghua. With that being said I do heavily reference certain plot points, and should warn you that this may be a spoiler alert (not in a “who did it” kind of way) but just a generic plot run through as it relates to the song. If you would like to get straight to it, skip to the full disclaimer below!

So if you can’t tell already, I am already off schedule for a few reasons. 

I found an audio issue in my test render/ copyrights are a thing. (Fixed for now)

I discovered that my harmony tracks were peaking (after playing around in a master file) and I attempted to revamp the mix– resulting in a far worse outcome than the original audio lol.

So now the audio mix is in limbo. I am having someone else look at it, and see whether they can do anything with it. It may just be uploaded as is.  *UPDATE* so I mixed this about 5 times in a 48 hr period after having someone look it over for me. I went from Mixcraft back to Adobe Audition (Haven’t used adobe in like– 3 years???) and then mastered in Mixcraft and //shrugs// I think it is better than the original take that was intended for upload. I figured out my de-essers just aren’t de-essing the way I want them too, so I’ll blame it on poor recording technique at the time I recorded. 

And finally? 

There’s no need to rush it now. 

I’m not the first one putting out lyrics so it’s totally fine! This was a goal of mine like last year, but I gave up on it as I just couldn’t find the motivation to work on this.  I’m really proud of myself for pushing through completion on this project. I do not like working long term on anything, and this idea of working on this song has been there since August 2020. So uploading anything related to it at this point is still an accomplishment!

So this is my breakdown on the lyrics, plot, and practically everything I thought about regarding this song. One thing that initially stuck out to me with this song beyond the composition work and the musicality, was the story I got from it all. I felt like, “wow, I have to watch this” to fill in the blanks as to what happens between these two and determine whether or not this story is as great if not better than my feelings towards The Untamed/ MDZS. If it were not for this song alone, I would not have watched, nor read any of Tian Guan Ci Fu (TGCF). For this reason, I am thankful that it was featured in this series! 

(I want to discuss the composition, but may dedicate time to that later, if I revisit the piano cover I did. )

Although I do usually avoid this genre, I will respect what is written and established canonically.  I do not consider myself to be deeply engrossed in the fandom by any means, nor do I entertain fanfics. 

Okay! Now on to the analysis!

Xian le’s shining grace reflects prosperity 

A teenager in white descends with destiny

Flowers are displaced and I can see his face

In a flash, the rules are left broken 

So, I rewrote this stanza twice because of the final two lines. I am not much of a person who cares to keep rhymes, but I considered it for this song in certain places because that is what stuck for me.  One flower, One Sword is a song I heard from Hua Cheng’s POV, so I tried to keep that theme.

I do not remember every detail, but this depicts the first time Hua Cheng (HC) meets the crowned prince Xie Lian (XL). At this point in the story, he is known as Hong’er, but I will continue to refer to him as HC so as to not introduce too many names/ cause confusion. It was a parade proceeding and HC was a kid about to jump from a high bell tower. This parade is very important in the Xian Le kingdom as everyone believes that the procession helps to protect the kingdom from calamities.  He sees XL (who is a teenager at the time) and is in awe, and ends up falling. XL sees the child fall and moves very quickly to catch him, breaking the parade traditions and causing quite a commotion among gossipers. The parade is technically interrupted by this event and the “rules” or traditions are broken at the moment because XL temporarily left his post to save HC.  That’s basically the story behind the lyrics.

In the darkest night, are hidden glowing eyes

Dancing butterflies like lit stars in the sky

Surely he takes off, in the pursuit of a voice 

Fighting in moonlight no matter all the time it takes

Fighting by moonlight no matter any consequence.

Ok, so as you can see, this line was altered lol. I am not currently reviewing the PV at the moment of writing, but this made me think about the war/ fighting that occurs in the novel. Xian le’s , the kingdom in which XL is from, was basically threatened and at risk of failing, leading to fighting, war, catastrophe (which comes up again in verse two I think?). I can’t remember whether or not XL has ascended or not by this time, but I believe he had at some point and was intervening in the human world/ affairs which was against the rules of the Heavenly Court. 

Glowing eyes, and dancing butterflies are interesting lines. But I think this relates more to HC in his current form. Butterflies are his signature (silver butterflies). 

A figure of flowers meet a sword at Yi Nian Bridge

Challenging the heavens, with thunder and lightning 

Though time passes, and we change as time goes on 

With one flower, and one sword I will defend thee~

so “figure of flowers” ? Can be taken a few ways… personification of XL fighting a mysterious person at Yi Nian Bridge (he was/ is an excellent swordsman). Or a figure, as in a number of flowers cross paths with clashing swords on the bridge (so either figuratively or literally) lol. And with fighting, one is generally defending someone, something, etc.

The indication of the time changes is also very important to note. XL experienced many ups and downs in his story that resulted in changes in his behavior, and his perception of the world in a sense. He also didn’t understand the value of those closest to him, Mu Cheng and Feng Xin as an example until they were gone. Essentially by the time we meet XL, he is very humble about his abilities and does not like bringing attention to himself unnecessarily. Or if you want to flip it to HC, he waited a substantially long time to reunite with XL. I mean, I could never– the point is, the passage of time is very important.

Challenging the heavens can be a reference to XL breaking the rules and being banished several times as well. Or, if you’re “nasty” XD could even say its in reference to HC challenging all the heavenly officials and whipping tail lol.

If I were to say that I hear the last phrase from HC POV, it would be because of the following 1) he is XL’s #1 devotee from youth to adulthood 2) he would often reside at the temple for XL and continuously change out the flower on XL’s statue. 3) He was also a decent swordsman and a figher. He often protected the temple from vandalism at times. 

At Mount Tai Cang there was a calamity 

Walls and houses down, a new reality

(From) Riches now to rags, met with such devastation

Unknown mysteries of war highlight a brazen truth

So I believe this is referring to the fall of the Xianle kingdom in the civil war. I don’t actually recall what was the initial start of this conflict. But the human face disease was a problem, along with XL’s futile attempts to help the people. HC was a part of the military and ran into XL several times. He was eventually kicked out by Mu Qing. 

Taicang mountain could also relate specifically to when XL took HC there as a kid and the priest told him that HC had the worst fortune and would cause devastation and destruction anywhere he went. HC ran away at this point as well. 

I think the quote below helps with the final phrase regarding the “truth” without spoiling the story.

“Because the Kingdom of Xianle was destined to fall. Since you raised your hand and messed up this game of chess, then, there will for sure be another hand that returns all the messed up pieces back in place.”

Tree of white flowers meet dark clouds at Yi Nian Bridge

And like ambers, time does wonders to a mystic

And like ambers, time burns on in a mystic scene

With the fog past, and clouds gone, truly serene

With a flower, and a sword  I will never flee~

Staring at the flowers in trees, I do miss you

I don’t care if they laugh at me, I’ll live anew

The hereafter is bright, like colorful silks,

 I’ll be with you, forevermore,flower and sword

Whether here or beyond…we’re together, always

I do not have much extra to add here. I am very strategic in how I phrase things here because things change a bit in the final chorus. “I don’t care if they laugh at me…” is quite ambiguous to me, as it could really apply to XL’s return 3rd ascension or to before HC was the HC that everyone was afraid of lol. I really liked singing “Hereafter”. I get so tired of singing “future”– like that word is just overkill in all english covers I think. 

Fun fact: twitter helped me in a poll on the “never flee/ I’ll defend thee” bit. I didn’t realize that the chorus would change each time, and I ended up using both variations.

Colorful silks= I mean the red garments they wear. =v=, I’m shrewd with it in my mind.  

Conclusion: So I tried to convey the feeling of devotion without the necessary cringe implied in a typical love song. I felt that this was more poetic than just “I wanna be with you forever, and ever, one flower and sword, and ugugugu gege”. The art of storytelling is really important to me for some reason, so it makes me happy when I can maintain story related elements in an English take. I had to fight depression, anxiety, and imposter syndrome the entire time, but I finally made it to the end of this hot take on my thoughts.

If you actually read all this, you are honestly a trooper!

[kass-storycorner]

Oh god, okay hear me out. I suffer from insomnia and I couldn’t get Childes letter out of my head (btw the English version is so much less “I am in love with you” than the German one. He literally says in the German version that he misses us and wants us to visit him, like straight up this is a love letter!! The English version is really toned down in comparison).

So. I know his birthday is over, at least where I’m from. But. I wrote this whole ass fan fic, that is way too long, because I was so inspired by that letter. I’m not really satisfied with the ending, I honestly wanted to add so much more fluff but… I also didn’t want to make this too long, I actually planned for it to be short??? help (also it’s 4am now noooo)

Happy birthday, Tartaglia

Genre: a little bit angsty, fluff, comfort

Rating: SFW, though mentions of kissing and sharing a bed

Content warnings: mention of a family death, Bennett’s bad luck lol but both are unrelated haha

Characters: Tartaglia x gn!reader, a guest appearance of Bennett, mention of Zhongli

Word count: 2,796 words (oooh f*ck haha)

-

You’ve been busy the whole day doing some commissions for the Adventures Guild and were now on your way to Mondstadt, when you heard a familiar voice call your name. “(Y/N)!”, Bennett called out to you and ran into your direction. A deep sigh left your throat, while you enjoyed Bennett’s company most of the time… you had to deal with a ton of your own bad luck today. Not one of the commissions today went the way they usually did, everything that could’ve gone wrong did go wrong. It was honestly just very frustrating, although you couldn’t be really sure if it was because of bad luck or because your mind was somewhere else most of the day. You shook your head, trying to get rid of the tiredness you already felt in your whole body and made your way towards Bennett. No matter what he needed help with you would be sure you could handle it. And in that moment, as the thought of how it wouldn’t be a big deal whatever Bennett had on his chest, you saw how the young adventure tripped over his own feet and fell face forwards into the dirt. ‘Ouch, that must’ve hurt’, you thought while running up to him. “Are you hurt? Here, let me help you up Bennett”, you asked while helping him get up from the ground. All you got as an answer from him was his usual laugh and smile. “Oh man, I really didn’t see that stone. Haha, thanks for the concern though!” You couldn’t help yourself and chuckled at the way he wiped off the dirt from his clothes. “So, what’s up? What do you want from me?.” “Yeah, right! I nearly forgot!”, he exclaimed and started fumbling in his bag. “Oh, got a present for me?”, you asked sheepishly. “Kinda, not really. Here!” Bennett held a letter in his hands, both bandaged again, and stretching it out to you. “A letter? For me?”, you took it in your hands. In a fine handwriting there was your name on it. It didn’t even took you a second for you to register who’s hand writing it was. What a surprise.

Before you could even start to ask Bennett how he got his hands on the letter he was already excitedly explaining it to you. “Today I had a commission on Dragonspine and to be honest, it didn’t really went that well until I ran into this one guy. I accidentally activated a few Ruin guards and well, even the most seasoned adventurer can’t fight more than one of these at a time and sadly the newest members of Benny’s adventure team had to go home again before we made it even to the mountain.”

The thought of Bennett nearly finding his end today on Dragonspine really… it really did not sit right with you. You made a mental note to ask him later who the new members were that ditched him. After you had your talk with them they wished they had stayed with Bennett on Dragonspine. “Well, in that moment when they approached me that one guy showed up and it only took him a few minutes to defeat them all. (Y/N) that was so cool! I tried to recruit him for my adventure team, but sadly he said he was already occupied with something else. Oh man, it would’ve been so cool to have him on my adventurer team, imagine with such an excellent fighter no one would be afraid of my bad luck to join my team.” While you enjoyed Bennett’s enthusiasm you had to interrupt him. “Wait, wait, Bennett. The person who gave you this letter is on Dragonspine?”

“Oh yeah! As I was saying I tried to recruit him for my team, but failed however we talked a bit and somehow he mentioned that he knew you! When I told him we were friends he asked me to give you this letter the next time I saw you.”

You felt how the excitement in you grew. He was on Dragonspine? He was so close to you again? Now you hardly could pay attention to what Bennett continued to say, all that was on your mind was the man, whom you saw the last time months ago in Liyue was so close again. “Bennett,” you interrupted him again. “Thank you so much for the letter, but I really need to get going. Thank you so much!”

And with that you changed your direction and made your way directly to Dragonspine. “Oh? Okay, bye (Y/N)!”, you heard Bennett call after you, but your mind was already occupied with opening that letter he gave you.

With shaking hands you read what stood on that thin paper in that neat and familiar handwriting:

“Hey, comrade! How have you been? You must have traveled far and wide since we last saw each other, right?

For me, I can only seek out some entertainment for myself. These past couple of days, I’ve used a work opportunity to explore Dragonspine and seek out some local specialties. I hope they will be of use to you.

The harsh cold of the snow-capped mountains is reminiscent to the scenery of my hometown…

Sigh, I’ve had many mundane days that makes me nostalgic of our time together. Whether it’s a fight or a challenge, I always feel that having you around is what makes life really interesting.

Haha, to be honest, I’ve been planning a special day to meet up with you, today could be that chance! If you have no special plans, how about you swing by my place?

I miss you, Tartaglia”

Quickly you put the letter in your bag with what accompanied it and now you were basically running towards Dragonspine. Right now you didn’t want to think about what kind of “work opportunity” there could be for the Harbringer on Dragonspine, all you could think about was seeing him again.

It has been months since you both parted ways in Liyue. You met him while being on a commission, funnily enough it was a bit similar how Bennett ran into him today. In one of Liyues ruins you looked for a book some historian in Liyue Harbour desperately tried to get their hands on. By the amount of Mora they were willing to pay it should’ve been obvious to you that it wasn’t a one-person mission… and still, you went alone into those ruins. You had no problem in destroying the first two ruin guards you ran into, but when three activated at the same time… If it weren’t for Tartaglia back then you would probably be dead. At first you were very thankful for his help, however when you found out he was also there for the book you needed your thankfulness quickly turned into anger. “Well, don’t you think I deserve a reward for helping you out, comrade?”, he teased you.

After that day you somehow always managed to run into him in Liyue Harbour or on your commissions. Back then you only knew him by his name used by the Fatui, Childe. Though it was well known in Liyue that he was one of the Harbringers, you somehow didn’t get that message after months of openly antagonising him. Only after Childe invited himself to your usual afternoon teas with your friend Zhongli you learned about his affiliations, but also more about him. If someone was hearing two people bickering, the people of Liyue knew it was you two. However none of it was malicious. Somehow it was the way you and Childe showed each other the appreciation you had for one another.

The first dislike you had for him grew quickly into a warm friendship. And that friendship grew in something more after awhile.

The first time you noticed a change in your feelings towards Childe was around the time of the Lantern rite festival. One night you were supposed to meet up with Zhongli - but Childe showed up in his instead. Apparently, so Childe, there was a lot to do at the Parlour because of a new promotion the director wanted to try and needed Zhonglis help with, so Zhongli asked Childe to accompany you to the Lantern rite.

Until this day you weren’t sure if this was just a set up by Zhongli, but even if it was, you wouldn’t hold it against him.

That night, when you and Childe walked around Liyue Harbour and watched the lanterns something fundamentally changed between the two of you. After that night you knew so much more about him and he about you. From that day on he wasn’t Childe anymore, he was Tartaglia. And both of you finally knew how the lips of the other felt on your own.

Now you were so close again to feel his warm arms around you, to listen to the sound of his heartbeat when you rested your head on his chest and to feel his lips on yours again. Oh how you missed him too.

Parting ways wasn’t easy. Both of you knew that it was best to not be so public with your relationship, for several reasons. On the one hand the Fatui weren’t what you would call popular - most people would use some stronger word to describe them. Being a Mondstadt citizen in Liyue openly dating a member of the Fatui, yeah no. On the other it was also not really well liked by the Tsaritsa for the members of the Fatui, no matter if you were just a low henchman or a Harbringer, to get involved in that way with outsides. With “not well liked” it was more implied that she forbade any romantic relationships outside and inside the Fatui ranks when they were on a mission. And Tartaglia was on a mission, a mission you knew nothing about, but to be honest? You preferred it that way. The longer you were able to ignore what it meant for him to be part of the Fatui, the better.

So because of all of this you both decided it would be best to keep the relationship in the shadows.

You both knew for sure was that you had to part ways one day, however none of you expected that you were the one going home before Tartaglia. There were a lot of nights of laying in bed with him, sharing stories from each of your homes. You told him about the Windblume Festival and Ludi Hapestrum, he told you about the festivals and traditions of Snezhnaya. When you shared stories of how your little siblings and you loved to collect as many dandelions as possible when you were children to pretend that it was snowing in the summer, he would counteract that story with the times he built entire fortresses with his siblings out of the snow in the winter. Only to then pull you closer and whisper in your ear that he’ll show you how to do that when you come with him back to Snezhnaya. You would always whisper back “okay, but first you’d need to glide with me off Startsnatch cliff”. The lovely nights you both spend together, telling each other of your homes and how much you want to show it to them were harshly interrupted by a letter you got from your family.

Life sometimes isn’t fair. It’s hard and it brutal and it’s short. So when you got the letter from your family informing you that the youngest member of the family had died, it broke you to pieces. They were only 14. That night Tartaglia held you in his arms, his hand on the back of your head, your head pressed into his chest and none of you could say a word. Only the sound of you crying piercing the quite room. Too heavy was the grief for anything to be said anyways.

The day immediately after you received that letter you and Tartaglia parted way, a quite and sad goodbye. None of you were actually sure when you would see each other again. With his hands against your tear stained face, the tears not only being shed out of grief but also out of the pain you had to leave your lover, he promised to write you as often as he could. You promised you would answer. And then you left, wishing he could come with you. Words you did not dare to speak, because you knew he couldn’t, no matter how much he wanted to.

Now you found yourself close to one of the Fatui camps on Dragonspine. It was quite irresponsible to just run up the mountain, without any proper preparation or knowledge where Tartaglias camp actually was. You sighed. The excitement of seeing him after such a long time, after just exchanging letters got the best of you. Frustrated with yourself you made your way towards the campsite, hoping that this time the Fatui henchmen wouldn’t immediately start attacking every stranger they see. However when you arrived at the camp site you saw that no one was there. Too exhausted from the commissions earlier in the day and running up the Dragonspine you let yourself fall down in front of the extinguished campfire. Slowly but surly the cold weather of the Dragonspine was catching up to you.

Going through your bag you were looking for the stones Tartaglia send with his letter, hoping to ignite a fire with them. But before you could find them you heart footsteps in the snow behind you.

You hadn’t even had the chance to turn around before you felt two arms looping around your body, immediately warming you up.

“Hey comrade, did you miss me?”

You felt his head on your shoulders and you couldn’t help but to lean your own against his. One of your hands made its way up to his face, touching his cheek. “Yes,” you whispered.

Turning your head you now looked into his deep blue eyes, they were filled with all the love he had for you. You wished he could look at you like this forever… that you could look at him forever.

Tartaglia leaned a bit forward, placing a soft kiss on your lips and you couldn’t help it but smile.

He slowly pulled away, entangling himself from the hug and holding his hand out to you. “Come, let’s go inside the tent. You must be freezing out here”.

Inside the tent Tartaglia threw one blanket on another blanket over another over you, while lecturing you on what appropriate clothing was for a weather like this. You really didn’t give it any second thought when you made your way to Dragonspine, still wearing the same clothes you would wear on a sunny day in Mondstadt. But you also couldn’t hide it how much you loved to just hear his voice, even when he was nagging you. “It’s fine really, now stop trying to bury me under all the blankets and warm me up yourself”, you took his hand and pulled him towards you onto the plank. “You know some people would find what you said very suggestiv”, he joked, joining you under the immense amount of blankets. “Mmmmh,” was the only thing you replied, completely enamoured with him having you by your side again. For a few minutes the both of you just laid there, close to each other and feeling each other’s heartbeat.

None of you could actually believe your luck to be in the arms of the other again. How much you had missed this. Missed him.

“Hey,” he spoke softly, making you look into his eyes again. “How you’ve been doing?”.

It was such a soft question and you knew what he meant. You wanted to tell him how exhausting everything has been since your arrival, how your family was breaking apart at all ends, what a shit show it all was. In your letters you only alluded to how bad it actually is. How it was all just made worse by him not being at your side. Though you knew you would have to tell him all of this sooner or later, right now you didn’t want to talk about it. Not in detail. Not when today was actually his special day. “It’s manageable, but better now that I’m here with you”, you replied to his question. “You?”

“Better, now that I have you here”, was his reply. You both smiled at each other, a warm and tender smile. Slowly you adjusted your position so that you now were laying on top of him, your chin on his chest. “Hey, there is something I forgot to tell you.”

“Oh, and what is it?”

“Happy Birthday, Tartaglia”, and with that you kissed him.

[youwontlikethisblog]

Yo Soy Betty, la Fea

So about a month ago I started watching this show as a form to entertain myself, in other words, ironically.

I was introduced to this novela by the Mexican version of it. I grew up with La Fea Mas Bella and during my depressive episodes that was my go to binge show. One day I was sitting on the couch, as one does, and Betty La Fea was on. I laughed for like a solid minute because I thought that acting was so serious that it was hilarious. See I was so used to the dramatics and comedy effects of the Mexican version that I thought the original was just too serious. So as a form to mock myself and the original novela I went on a search for it. Sadly here in the states the only way to watch this show is through NBC/Telemundo and the ads are just so long and it's not even the complete, all 335 aired episodes. Also for me the NBC website crashed to frequent it just made me miserable BUT that's not the point of this.

Hey, hi, I'm a writer.

I feel the need to say this because this show has... I am extremely fascinated by the writer Fernando Gaitan. I haven't seen any of his other works but this show alone is a masterpiece and I don't mean to say this because of the tropes, the moral, or the characters themselves but the mastermind to create so much detail into three minute scenes, the directing and the acting as well just add such a lovely splash of color, of life to this already beautifully written story.

I'm new to this already well established fandom and while I have read many breakdowns of characters, mainly Marcela, I haven't seen much regarding the story itself and many things said and done that foreshadow certain events.

For example, (I'm not sure what episode I'm on because I accidently bought the bootleg version of this novela so chapters aren't titled) This episode is the one when they offer Betty a 10% commission so that she can get Armando to do business with RagTela. The scene in particular however is when Armando is laying in bed with his fiancé, Marcela.

Now this becomes almost a regular thing that I noticed between the lives out of the office between Armando and Betty. We get back to back scenes of Armando with Marcela and then scenes of Betty at home with family or her friends that it becomes almost a way for the viewer, or if this were a book, the reader, to distinguish the difference of lives these two characters have. Though one could assume one is lonely because they don't go out or have a S.O and only work or count numbers is shown in a home with loving parents that are always worried about their child and present in her life and a loving best friend that shares the burden of being outcaste by society and finding the humor in it then we get scenes of a couple always arguing and then jumping into bed. Of a man that while his S.O sleeps lays awake with unheard questions, whose best friend is constantly placing temptations and pushing him to do wrong by his S.O, and whose parents aren't really present and ever only talk about the company or his relationship with Marcela to then again Betty. However in this part of the episode it's Armando awake while Marcela is asleep while Betty writes in her diary and we hear her monologue and then they both drift into sleep.

This becomes a ritual where the viewer can tell the clear line between these two characters and their own worlds.

Why do I mention this?

Because dreams are often, in the literary world, seen as prophecies or for the reader to interpret the future or the secret desires of the character. In other words, a form of foreshadowing.

Now in this episode Armando is laying in bed with Marcela, Betty is writing in her diary and the scenes switch between the both of them until we are taken to a dream. In the dream Betty is wearing a bright red dress with long sleeves, and a red hat with Armando in a black suit(I have theories based on the clothing they wear lol) . They're both dancing to tango. While Betty isn't watching him much, more concentrated in her movements, Armando is busy watching her. We then see him dip her, where she finally stares at him and they near for a kiss, just as they are about to kiss we hear Betty's name echo and she straightens up and walks away, while Armando is left there confused and alone.

Why do I think the mention of this dream is important?

Up until this we've seen Armando go from feeling indifferent about Betty. He is a terrible boss and constantly yells and mistreats her to then being fazed by her tears, to having moments of being a good boss and defending her. We begin to see a pattern of Armando's change towards her. Even before the terrible plan to use her is set and I believe that Fernando Gaitan used these dreams to not only give a break of humor and show Betty's crush towards Armando but to give the viewers a look into an otherwise unbothered, unfazed, and mysterious character's mind. AKA Armando Mendoza's own personal feelings towards Betty.

This is solidify by the dream they both share the night that Mario tells Armando about the plan to win Betty's heart to secure the company.

When we're learning to be good story tellers we're told that when writing you writer for yourself. The first draft is a huge info dump. While editing you take out all the unimportant factors and scenes, no matter how much you love that scene if it doesn't help with the plot, character development, or pushing the story forward, it's to be taken out of the story. Therefore most things are written with the intention to mean something. The cuts between Armando and Betty before we see this dream signify that it was both of them having the same dream.

I believe that this was the moment we start seeing the bend between their own worlds outside of the office.

Now, I'd love to have more cohesive analyses of the episodes because this is as if a book came to life. A lot of people in the fandom believe that Armando wouldn't had ever fallen in love with Betty had it not been for Mario who told Armando to make Betty fall in love with him to secure the company, a lot of small details in the character development and the story say otherwise and I have no one to talk to about these small details so maybe this blog might change from being a writers blog to the occasional fandom reblog to now being an analytical commenter of Yo Soy Betty, La Fea.

Even if no one ends up reading this, I need to get it out of my system so until next time.

[littlemessyjessi]

“Mother Nature”: Baron Helmut Zemo Imagine: Plus Size

A Helmut Zemo Imagine Commissioned by: She chose to remain anon so I won't tag her but thank you love for your commission! Much love! Notes from cx:  "Can you use your oc Jessi for this please? Can we have cottagecore vibes? Can we have an animal mama? Can we have a cool power and some backstory?" Note from myself: Yes, bebe, of course you can have anything you want! -----------  

The tension in the jet could be cut with a knife as the three males resided there.

Sam was caught between irritation at Bucky... in general and due to the fact that he would do nothing but glower at Zemo.

And also by the subject of his glowering himself.

He didn't like the situation in any way, shape or form.

But after coming to the resolution that he was more help to them out of prison that he was in... the both of them had agreed to 'let' him stay.

Even when all of them knew that if and when Zemo was ready to flee... he'd just do it.

"So this woman?" Zemo spoke up.  "Why is it that we must collect her?"

"Collect her?" Sam laughed. "What the fuck, man? She's a woman.  Not a pokemon card."

"We need her." Bucky said shortly.  

"Yeah, we need her." Sam laughed. "What I'm not looking forward to is the ass whoopin that she's undoubtedly gonna dish out when she sees us.  What was it she told you the last time she saw us?"

"Shut up, Sam."

"Oh, yeah.  Something about, 'If I ever see your wish brand Terminator looking ass -"

"Shut. up. Sam."  Bucky snapped.

"Then I'll rip that Transformer's reject arm off and shove it up your ass."  Sam continued through his laughter.

"I think I may like this woman." Zemo said sipping his champagne with a smirk.

Bucky just glowered out the window and Sam looked thoroughly pleased with himself with the torment he'd managed to provide Bucky in only a few short sentences.

"If I may.." Zemo started only to recieve a menacing glare from Bucky.  "If she dislikes you so much what makes you think she'll be willing to help us?"

"Because Jess is easy to bribe." Sam said. "And you're going front the bill for it."

Zemo lifted his eyebrows, "Ah, I thought it would be more interesting.   What's her price?"

"Probably some exotic plant that no one has ever fucking heard of and is impossible to get." Bucky sighed, running a hand down his face.  "She'll let you know."

"If she doesn't shoot us before we get off the jet." Sam pointed out.

Sam wasn't scared of a lot but Jess McCarty was definitely on that list.

Even if he did find her highly entertaining.

"Oh and she hates Sharon." Bucky said staring our the window again. "So don't bring her up."

"I'm not ignorant enough to bring up another woman." Zemo said. "I was married, you know."

He had been teasing but none of them said anything else.

They weren't exactly on the best terms but even still they wouldn't bring up conversation relating to his late family.

Eventually, they landed in large field with a beautiful mountain landscape decorating the distance.

Helmut could distinctly see a large white truck in the distance.

"So much for easing into the situation." Sam said.  "I see she still has Leroy."

"Leroy?" Zemo asked.

"Her truck." Bucky clarified. "Don't ask and don't bring up the bullet holes."

Sam snorted, "Yeah, I think she still owes you a few shots over that."

"Fuck off."

Zemo rolled his eyes at the two of them.

Even after all this time and how much he had become accustomed to their bickering ... it still both amused and annoyed him.

As the three of them descended the stairs of the jet, the slam of a door was heard in the distance.

A woman stepped out and leaned against the grill of the truck, blankly staring them all down.

She was tall, that much Zemo could tell even from a distance, with neck length dark hair that sprung from her head in a wild dark halo.

They'd managed to get about half way to her when she whistled and several dogs bounded from the bed of her truck.

"Fuck." Bucky whispered. "She brought the fucking dogs."

"You better run,"white wolf"." Sam said with a chuckle.

Half amused and half concerned.

"We." he responded. "I'm not the only one here."

"You state your fucking business, Barnes. Before I let them tear you part."

A smirk worked it's way onto Zemo's face as her venomous southern drawl that seemed to contrast so much to her appearance.

She was the picture of lovely.

She looked more like a fairy belonging to a magical woodland than someone associated with the Avengers.

Like a tall, curvaceous Elven queen.

"We need your help and we brought an ATM who has connections." Sam said trying to ease the tension.

She didn't seem impressed.

"I'm not asking again, Barnes.  You got three seconds before I sick the hounds on you.  And they're hungry. We've been into town passed the diner where they're having a fish fry.  My babies are just dying for a snack.  And if you even think about laying one hand on them, I'm turning that fucking arm of yours into a coat rack." she spat.

"God dammit, Jess.  I told you we need your help.  It's a mission and you're the only one who can-" Bucky started before she snapped her fingers and the dogs charged at him. "Shit!"

Realistically, Bucky could've ended those dogs in seconds but if he did, A.) she'd never help them, and B.)  she'd make him suffer for it.

Buck let out some kind of strangled cry as he took off away from the dogs chasing after him.

Zemo, no stranger to the military and the dogs associated with it, noted that none of them actually looked as if they were going to harm him but rather just enjoying the chase.

Bucky didn't need to know that though.

"How long are you gonna let them chase him?" Sam chuckled as he and Zemo finally made their way closer to where she stood leaning against the truck.

Jess shrugged, "So what is it exactly that you need?"

"We just need your help with a mission." Sam said.  "We can talk about the details later if you decide not to kill us."

She scoffed, "I'm not going to kill you, Sam.  But I might maim Barnes a little.  Enough to make me feel better."

She finally turned her eyes on Zemo who gave her a small smile.

"So you're the ATM?" she asked with lifted brows. "Do you have a name? Bank of..."

"This is Zemo." Sam said.  "He's a Baron and he's loaded."

"Zemo." she nodded, dark brows drawing together.

"Please call me Helmut." he said producing a hand.

She took it firmly as she stared at him.

"Zemo..." she said almost tasting the word in her mouth.  "That is so familiar."

Sam sighed, "Yes, it's that Zemo, Jess.  And I know what you're thinking-"

"You have no idea what I'm thinking." she snapped, her eyes wretching themselves away from Helmut's soft dark eyes to meet Sam's endless pools.

"Jess.."

"No, you were not there and you do not know." she said as her skin and hair began to change color as her temper rose.

It was then that Helmut recognized just exactly who she was.

"You were there." he said. "In Sokovia."

Her eyes connected with his.

"Yes, I was." she said.  "I was with the Avengers when we faced Ultron."

"You're the one that stayed." he said.

"Yes." she whispered.

"You are a hero among my people." he said. "Those of us that are left."

"I am no hero." she said turning away from him and whistling for the dogs who had chased Bucky up an old flagpole and were barking at him.

"There would be many more Sokovians dead if you had not stayed. We were not a large people to begin with and there are even fewer now.  I know several who owe you their lives." Helmut said.

"They owe me nothing." she said. "And for the record, of course, I do not support the bombing but I also understand what it is like to be ridden with grief and confusion and anger when you have lost loved ones.  Especially as someone who had lost their own children."

Helmut's eyes softened as he thought of his late wife and child and it was then that he recognized the same tendrils of heartbreak in the woman's eyes.

"For what it's worth, I destroyed my fair share of places in my grief." she said. "People will remind us of our faults as long as we live but what they say can never compare to the torture we inflict on ourselves."

Helmut said nothing, only nodded in understanding.

She turned to Sam with a sigh, "I will help you.  But I am going to kick Barnes' ass for good measure."

"You sure you wanna go toe to toe with the Winter Soldier?" he teased her.

She lifted a brow, "He is just a man.  A soldier.  Like the both of you and I can assure that I am not scared of any of you."

"Well, he's not exactly..." Helmut said.

"Yes he is.  He lives, he breathes, he bleeds." she cut him off.  "And he shot my truck and kicked me off a building.  So I atleast owe him a kick in the nuts."

Sam and Helmut dissolved into a fit of laughter as she whistled again and the pack of dogs came running before bounding into the bed of that beat up white truck.

She opened the door and slid into the driver's seat.

"Do you have a way to follow me? Other than by jet?" she asked through the open window. "Or do I need to drop the hounds off and come back?"

"It's already taken care of." Helmut said gesturing behind to the jet where Oeznik was pulling driving the car off the jet.

"Nice car." Jess said.  "I still prefer Leroy though."

"Definitely a beauty." Helmut said. "A little rough around the edges but all wild things are."

Helmut gave her a soft smile to which she returned before speeding off.

"What the fuck was that?" Sam asked.

"What was what?" Helmut asked.

"You flirtin with her?" Sam said.  "She will eat you for breakfast, man.  And then shit you out and use you to fertilize her little poison garden.  Don't go down that road."

"What road?"

Bucky had rejoined the conversation.

"Man, you run like a bitch." Sam laughed.

Bucky just stared at Sam in irritation.  

"You couldn't even fight off a pack of dogs?" Sam teased. "One of them was a Yorkie, Buck."

"First of all, I told you that you can't call me that." Bucky said.  "Second of all, if I so much as look at one of those dogs the wrong way you know she'll launch a missile at us."

Sam just snickered.

"Apparently, you have a 'kick to the nuts' coming your way." Helmut said and Bucky groaned.

"She is never going to forgive me." he said.  

"Why exactly did you shoot her property and kick her off a building?" Helmut asked as they piled into the car.

There was a brief argument about the seat being moved up before Bucky answered.

"Look, the truck was an accident." he said.  "It was just caught in the crossfire.   And I only kicked her off the building because she was nearly insane."

"Weak logic, man." Sam laughed.

"You were there, asshole!"

"You could've tackled her to the ground."

"While she was trying to choke me to death with vines?"

Sam just laughed at Bucky's predicament while Helmut continued to ponder this woman.

He remembered what little footage there was of her.

After the battle with Ultron, Sokovia had been decemated and the Avengers had left them in the rubble.

In reality, they had tried to evacuate as many as possible.

With the help of Sokovia's own, The Maximoff Twins.

But when it was all said and done, Sokovia was left in the rubble and Earth's defenders just deserted them.

All but the one.

He'd seen the footage.

Shaky cellphone videos of the woman who transformed into animals to move the debris crushing people to death.

Or of how she was in the tents with the small group of survivors using her powers with plants to heal as many as she could.

She'd even tried to plant things and bring the country back to life before the government had basically laid waste to her work.

She'd been most popularly dubbed as Mother Nature by people across the globe but she never spoke in public or confirmed her name.

Helmut got the feeling that she didn't exactly like being apart of the Avengers and certainly did not enjoy the attention that went along with it.

He knew then that it had to have been her that cleared the bodies of his father, wife and son for when he found them among the dead that had been intricately encased in vines with flowers decorating them in the most beautiful way.

When he'd asked about it, he only been told that Mother Nature had stayed to help them.

He hadn't understood that at the time.

After the loss, all he could think of was revenged as grief consumed him.

By that time, she had long since left the Avengers and wasn't on his radar.

He'd never put two and two together.

Helmut drove for the longest time, the lamborghini speeding along the road as they followed the beat up white truck.

The pack of dogs all happily placed in the back, tongues flopping in the wind and tails wagging.

The further they trekked the wilder the country became and soon the hot rays of sunshine only beamed through the thick cover of vegetation above them.

The light through the leaves creating a green glow.

"I feel like Welcome to the Jungle should be playing right about now." Sam commented.

The finally broke through the tunnel of vegetation into a large property of rolling green field smattered with wildflowers and towering trees.

Garden beds and greenhouses were in the distances and horses could be seen grazing freely as chickens clucked around them.

Helmut noted that there were no fences, no pins, no coops for the chickens but instead all he wild life seemed to roam freely.

"Just forewarning you, there's probably a bear or moose around here somewhere." Bucky said. "But don't shoot it or we're dead."

"A bear?" Helmut asked. "She keeps bears as pets?"

"Don't call the animals her pets." Sam said with a smirk, "It pisses her off and as much as I would just love to see you get shot, it's not very practical at the moment."

Eventually they came to a stop behind the truck.

The pack of dogs all bounded out and took off in the direction of several little goats who seemed more than happy to play with them.

Helmut took in the home in front of him.

It was a beautiful home.

Simple in design but stunning in the sense that it seemed to be built around a tree.

"Come inside and have some tea." Jess said. "I'm going to need some if I'm going to listen to whatever utter bullshit you've gotten yourself into this time."

"Uh uh." Sam said with a shake of his head. "That is a lion. I am not going up there."

Jess narrowed her eyes at Sam as Helmut and Bucky looked around for what he was talking about.

Sure enough on the level there was a small balcony where the railing was absolutely littered with cats and a rather large mountain lion was sitting there watching them all with it's great luminous eyes.

"She's pregnant.  Relax." Jess said ascending the steps, gently smiling at Helmut when he followed her without reservation.

"Like that's supposed to instill confidence." Sam said. "You ever been around a pregnant female? Hell no."

"I have been a pregnant female, Wilson.  And I also very clearly remember the labor pain of having twins.  So watch your mouth and come on. If she wanted to eat you she would've already done it. Though if you're so scared, just feed her Barnes.  That should tide her over for a while." she said disappearing into the house with a chuckling Helmut behind her.

"This is your fault." Sam said shoving Bucky who only shoved him back.

"Shut up, Sam." he said before they continued up the stairs with Sam moving a little quicker as the cluster of felines watched him.  

"I hate cats, man." he sad.  "Fucking creepy."

Bucky snorted.

"What?"

"Nothin."

"What?"

"Just fitting that the bird is scared of a little kitty." Bucky teased.

Sam lifted his brows, "First of all, that was not a kitten.  That was full on Lion King back there.  And second of all, have you never seen Looney Toons.  I'm not trying to be Tweety bird."

"Stop being a pussy and come on." Jess' voice rang out. "And shut the damn door. You're letting all the cool air out."

Sam and Bucky grumbled at each other before making their way into the kitchen to see Helmut sitting at the table already happily sipping a cup of tea.

"This is exquisite." Helmut complimented her. "What is it?"

"It's peach and apricot." she said pouring both Sam and Bucky a cup and leveling them both with a look that told them if they didn't drink it she'd strangle them.

"It's wonderful. Thank you." Helmut said.

"It was my daughters' favorites.   Flora loved peaches and Fauna loved apricots. So to please them both my husband used to blend them together for their little tea parties. Along with little pieces of toast and jam."

She smiled into her own cup of tea but there was a sadness there that he recognized.

He chose not to remark on it and instead studied her features as Sam relayed the information as to why they were actually there in the first place.

"I've seen the Walker guy." she said. "It's unsettling to say the least.  But you know I do the limelight, boys.  I walked away from all of that when it became obvious that-"

"Jess." Bucky said. "Please. You don't have to talk to anyone. You don't have to-"

"People died.  And not just in Sokovia.  Yes, that was the final straw for me but it was happening long before that. I understand that 'earth's greatest heroes' or whatever are there to defend everyone.  But no one ever stays around to see the carnage.   No one talks about everyone who dies in the crossfire.  I joined the avengers out of revenge.  I was fueled by my anger and pain and I went on missions.   How many have I ended up inadvertantly killing under this ruse of 'for the greater good'.  I loved Steve to death but he took that shit to his heart and forgot to use his eyes." she said. "While everyone else is busy looking at the 'bigger picture' all of these other people who perhaps you don't know the names of are dying horrible deaths, boys.   I pulled people from wreckage who had moment to live.  People who's organs were crushed into nothing and they were rushing to give me messages to pass along to their families.  Those people are the heroes and no one ever knows it."

The subject of Steve was a sensitive one for everyone but she had a point and they knew it.

She sighed as she looked down into her teacup again, "I will help you regarding John Walker.  But I'm not blindly following orders anymore.   I make my own decisions and when I'm done, I'm done and I don't want to hear anything about it when I go."

The three of them nodded even though she wasn't asking for permission.

"You want some more tea, love?" she asked Helmut who's heart fluttered a bit at the soft term of endearment.

"Please." he said watching as she methodically poured him another cup.

"I can not leave immediately." she said. "I have to take care of a few things first. But you are welcome to stay here if you wish."

"And if you're not afraid of the cat." she said, aiming it at Sam. "Tweety bird."

"I hate you." he said flatly and she only laughed.

"Her name is Cleopatra by the way. Or Cleo for short. And if you give her a can of tuna from that cabinet there then she'll be putty in your hands.  If you rub her belly then she'll love you forever." she said.  "She also seems to enjoy listening to Elvis Presley and laying in the sunlight.  If that should interest any of you."

"Thanks, Jess." Bucky said sincerely.

"You're welcome." she said. "But I still owe you a beating."

He sighed, "Fair enough."

She left the table and meandered out onto the lower porch to stay at the horizon.

Sam and Bucky said nothing as Helmut followed her out there.

"Thank you." he said as he stared off in the distance as well.

"For what?" she asked. "The tea? You're welcome, dear.  It was nothing."

"No." he said turning to look at her. "For what you did for the bodies.  My father, wife and son were among the ones you uncovered.   They told me it was Mother Nature.  I never put it together but now I see."

She said nothing.

"I did it because it was what I would've liked for my own family." she said.  "I'm just sorry I couldn't do it for everyone.  I tried but there were so many that needed healing.  I didn't have ti-"

"The people of Sokovia know that." he cut her off.  "But as a son, a husband and a father, I'm thanking you for myself and also for everyone else."

She said nothing as they stared out at the trees.

"What happened to your family?" he asked her.

He knew, from first experience, how painful it was to talk about something like but he wanted to know.

"There was a bombing." she said. "My husband and I had taken my daughters to the museum to see the dinosaur exhibit.   It was so wrapped up that day that it was nearly impossible to get food there.  So we called in some food a couple of miles away at one of the girls' favorite resteraunts.  He'd told me to go and get it and that they'd meet me by the water fountains and we'd have lunch.   I was stuck in traffic for a good hour coming back  when it hit.  They'd called in an air strike because it was confirmed that an extremely dangerous  terrorist was there.  He'd been on the run for nearly a year from a foreign government and when it was confirmed what he had on him, I guess they decided it would be better to blow everyone there off the place of the planet that risk him setting it off and possibly destroying the world.  I saw it hit, saw everything go up in flames before it the whole of everything just crashed into the ground.  Like the whole word swallowed it whole." she said, voice shaking.

Helmut watched with rapt attention as she struggled to continue.

"I just jumped out of the car immediately and took off.  Police were swarming and I got thrown this way and that but I got loose.  My family was in there.  My husband.  My children.  I dove head first into the crater not even thinking about self preservation or logic at all.  There were no survivors of course but I didn't care.   A mother can't just walk away like that.  Or atleast I couldn't.  I should've died on impact based on the fall but I didn't.  About half way down gas released and I can just remember the burning.  My skin felt like it was melting off.  I was still falling through the air and my skin was searing hot, burning every nerve ending I had.  And then I hit.   When I woke up, I wasn't there anymore but I panicked because I was covered in vines.  Wrapped up like a mummy in vegetation." she said, a dark chuckle coloring her tone.

Helmut shivered as a chill ran down his spine.

"The local authorities pulled me out when everything had been cleared and they began to sort through the wreckage.  I'd been turned over to American government when they discovered my ID in my back pocket.  They told me that it took forever for the police to get in because vines kept growing from everything I touched.  Several of them were strangled to death as I lay down there unconscious.  I was deemed dangerous and therefore put it a high security area.   I was told a version of what happened that day and propositioned to join the Avengers.  I was angry and grieving and I wanted to find out who murdered my children, my husband... so I accepted without hesistation. So when I tell you that I understand how you got to the point that you did... trust me.  I get it."

Helmut said nothing as he reached out to take her hand.

"Perhaps, you and I are not so different." he said.

"Probably a lot more similiar than you think." she chuckled.

"Though I am not a goddess." he said with a small smirk.

"I'm no goddess." she said.

"Ah no?" he asked. "Not Mother Nature then?"

"Sure you can call me mother nature...of the current year where I've been poisoned by the human race and am genuinely fed up with life in general.  Maybe Mother Nature's trailer trash cousin, Global Warming." she said and Helmut laughed at her in disbelief. "I can say trailer trash cause I am trailer trash."

Helmut shook his head in amusement.

He wasn't sure of anything in that moment but he was thankful for it and he hoped that perhaps his family was somewhere looking down on him.

He silently thanked them for allowing him to meet the one person who had stayed.

Mother Nature always found a way.

----- Hello my loves! I hope you enjoy this! This piece was commissioned by a lovely lady who chose to remain anon!  If you have a commission that you'd like done just reach out and I'll answer any questions you have!  Thank you so much for reading and I would love to hear your thoughts!

All my love, Kenny -----

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[fanficsandfluff]

The Snyder Cut: Headcanons (mostly of the tickly nature)

Bruce Wayne (Batman) ~ Batfleck, my love

He’s such a lover boy, and I can say that though I don’t exactly know how to explain what I mean. You just gotta understand.

He cares so strongly about EVERYONE. e v e r y o n e. Alfred, fucking loves the guy, jokes with him. The fucking “This is Alfred, I work for him.” MY MAN, STOP!

I think he just really wants to get along with everyone and wants everyone to get along in general.

But he lowkey crushes on Diana (at least in his mind, he’s keeping it lowkey, but we all see what’s happening)

I love the idea of this big hunk of a man getting soft with someone like Diana. 

She makes him genuinely laugh this one time by saying something funny, and then they’re both laughing together. 

Bruce definitely has one of those laughs where he throws his head back and shit and you can see his like Adam’s apple bobbing and everything.

But that’s if he’s really laughing.

And he has loud “HA”’s that are like really short but loud and then he kinda just snickers to himself for a while, holding his stomach.

And dude, the scene in freaking uhh… i think it’s BvS I’m not 100% (maybe i fucking imagined it who knows) where she like comes over to him and is fixing his wound….. tickle scenario hand picked from the gods right there

I can see a whole, “Woah!” from Bruce when Diana traces her fingers on some sensitive skin. And that Gal Godot smile is on her in an INSTANT. 

Bruce will laugh if he’s with the right person. Like I headcanon that if he’s being tickled, he will laugh if it’s done by Diana or Barry, then like he’ll be forced to laugh if it’s Clark bc he overpowers the poor bat, but then he just has these hilarious bouts of angry growls and chuckles if Arthur is going after him. 

I can’t even write about Batfleck being a ler because I will literally explode, so I’m done here 

(((((butseriouslyifanyonewantstotalklerbatfleckwithmehmuplz)))))

Diana Prince (Wonder Woman) 

I know the GIF isn’t from ZSJL but just let me live, ok? (Also I couldn’t find the one of Gal wiggling her fingers YOU KNOW THE ONE I’M TALKING ABOUT)

First off, Gal is the most horrible queen of giggles. I’ve seen those blooper reels. My god, girl, how do you keep getting hired?

SHE HAS SUCH A BIG SMILE IT’S LIKE THE ROCK IDK HOW THEIR TEETH AND MOUTH GET SO WIDE LOOKING

Diana will start tickle fights without a doubt.

She’s already very trustful and I also feel pretty handsy with people, especially those she may feel close to. So if she’s playful, you best watch out.

Her favorite targets are Bruce and Barry. I will not take criticism. Diana attacking Barry and reducing him to panicky shrieky laughs is my #1 thought. It’s not even living rent free, I’m commissioning it to be there.

Diana is one to laugh with her victims. She will wreck them and have a great time doing so. 

She’ll be ticklish if she wants to be, but it isn’t often she gets pinned and tickled or anything like that.

The guys try to stay away from her or not go after her with tickles for fear of retaliation.

AQUAMAN, CYBORG, SUPERMAN, AND THE FLASH UNDER THE CUT

Arthur Curry (Aquaman)

So…. my man isn’t really ticklish. I really don’t think he is, I feel like his Atlantean genes make his skin a special kind of hard, if that makes sense?

THAT BEING SAID ARTHUR IS THE BIGGEST LER OMGGG

He’ll try and act all cool and ‘whatever’ around the League cuz that’s kind of his persona.

But he slowly gets to like them more and more and his playful side starts to come out.

He’ll tickle Barry out of pure annoyance. Like if Barry makes any kind of comment, he’ll just point his finger out and get that glint in his eye and Barry is sprinting for the hills.

Here’s my favorite headcanon: Arthur will tickle Bruce because he knows it pisses him off when he does it. Bruce will fight back and keep Arthur in his sights at all time and curse and growl at him. And Arthur thinks it’s hilarious.

Arthur as a ler will taunt and tease until the cows come home

“Huh, big guy? What’s that? Ahawww that’s what I thought!... Not so fast/tough/etc. now!... I will wreck you.”

Victor Stone (Cyborg)

Unfortunately… not ticklish. :(

But this boy has the sweetest laugh you will ever hear, and I will die on that hill. 

Now that he has friends (superpowered friends, no less), he can slowly come alive and be himself. 

I can see Victor not getting involved in tickle fights at first, but at a certain point he’ll be all like, “Okay, step aside so we can do this right” and just PIN THE SHIT OUT OF WHOEVER IS BEING TICKLED. His extra robot arms are killer!

Okay, when he laughs for the first time in front of the group, there’s that cliche moment of pause where everything stops and everyone just stares and listens to him. It’s so rare to hear him laugh because the poor kid barely even smiled around them in the beginning. 

He SMIRKS

Now hear me out on this…

Okay, so half a face. Great. Weird. We love it. But you can see all of mischievous Victor when the guy SMIRKS. You see his eye squint and you can swear his robot eye gets a gleam of a different color. 

Wait honestly as I was writing that, the thought of Victor’s eye and like his apparatus changing color based on his mood is golden.

Me sitting here, lowkey wishing Victor’s robot body had some kind of cuddly mode like Baymax lmfaoooo 

Like the defense mode his body went into when he was around resurrected Supes, but for cuddles and being cute.

Clark Kent (Superman)

I was debating even including any headcanons for Superman bc I don’t care about him much, honestly.

I am v happy they kept in the whole ‘him staring at Flash through the speed storm’ scene bc I laughed so hard at that the first time i saw Josstice League in the theater. 

Also I didn’t really like the black superman costume??? I’m not a comic buff, so I’m assuming that’s why. I am like the one person who missed the color from the Josstice League cut. Don’t miss the stupid red sky in the finale, but I miss every other ounce of color that was just SUCKED right out of the Snyder Cut.

Clark and Bruce are besties now, I don’t make the rules. Bruce bought the man his house back. By buying the bank. He’ll take care of him.

And I’ve always simped for those two ever since BvS, bc I’ve already written like two fics where they tickle each other. 

Clark overpowering Bruce to tickle the shit out of him makes me so happy lol. Big strong boy Batfleck looking thiccc over here… but put him against Superman and he’s donezo. Because as mentioned earlier, I do think Bruce is pretty ticklish. 

But Clark can have his lee side when he’s feeling nice

He’s got that mighty chuckle, almost like how Thor might laugh. 

And he really likes getting involved in tickle fights with the League. He knows all of them are sorta afraid of him on the daily anyway, but have that power added to a tickle fight and it’s fun as hell. 

He’s gotten taken down by them ONCE. And I mean exactly (1) O N C E.

They all teamed up. Bing, bang, boom. Pinned him to the floor and they each took an area of skin and fucking SQUEEZED AND WIGGLED. They were trying to incapacitate him as quickly as possible. And dangummit, he laughed a lot! Like Clark realized just how ticklish he could feel if he wanted to feel it. 

And don’t even get me started on Lois, he’s big on getting her to giggle and she likes toying with him and running her hands all over his body (bc who wouldn’t?)

Barry Allen (The Flash)

I waited to write about Barry last because I have so much to say about this character....

and then I fell asleep and waited until the next day to write anything down about him so now I’m totally not in the mood and I forgot all the salient points I was planning on making.

fuck you, michelle.

I got a weird relationship with this character. He was mad annoying in the Josstice League. Thank goodness they trimmed his bad jokes down.

But now....

when he got hurt at the end and he was like crying and shit oh my god I wanted to hug him

His character got so... good

And I’m now at the right age where I can think about myself in a relationship with this character with no changes or shame

We both out here trying to find that one good job after college and everything

BARRY JUST WANTS FRIENDS, GUYS

HE’S THAT CUTE

And then he got this whole found family schtick with the Justice League!!! Lookit him!!! Thriving!

He has total little brother energy

like, pesky little brother. Bothers everyone, looks over people’s shoulders while they’re deep in thought or concentrating on something.

Asks a lot of questions.

All the more reason for the gang to want to tickle the shit out of him.

Barry just reads like a super ticklish lee. Like his whole character.

Maybe touch starved because he said he needed friends, and I don’t think he has siblings??? (sorry if i’m wrong about that, comic fans)

I already named some of my fav headcanons about him getting tickled by like Diana and such, and I’m sticking with it.

Barry does flee. He runs away with super speed.... but sometimes he just kinda wants the tickles so he lets them have at him. 

The chase is all part of the fun with tickling Barry, though. That’s what makes it so entertaining. And Barry isn’t afraid to be a little shit about it either. He will super-speed around his pursuers and poke their sides and tickle them back really quickly before they even know what’s happening. 

Barry doesn’t exactly hold back his laughter lol. He’ll protest and scream and squirm like crazy, but once he’s actually tickled, he loses it.

Pure boy. With funny ass facial expressions.

And it really doesn’t help that I never realized just how hot Ezra Miller is, even though I heard he’s not a great person irl. Oh well.

THAT’S ALL FOLKS!

Please please let me know if y’all have things to add, to squee over, to question me about... please. anything. i’m here for you. thanks for reading, guys!

[janiedean]

crack prompt inspired by all the tvd talk on your blog: damon, jaime, tony stark all walk into a bar alone and end up drunk oversharing ~~

(if you wanna include ships in it anything with delena/dalaric/bamon; brienne; pepper/bruce/strange/rhodey is okay lmfao so pretty much anything goes, i just want them being each other's therapist because the timeline collapsed for some time and their universes interacted somehow lmfao)

*spins the wheel* AAAND hello anon we can absolutely try that u__u

ten years on tumblr anniversary prompt post | buy me a coffee | commissions open

Well, now I really did bite off more than I could chew, Tony thinks as he shakes his head and hopes that he and Bruce didn't fuck up the entire fabric of reality.

Well.

He's not in New York and he wasn't in the span of five seconds since they got the machine turned on, but - but well. Bruce isn't here, so hopefully he'll figure out where the fuck he ended up. Maybe we should have been sober when trying to work out that whole different timelines and multiverses thing.

Now, damage control. He should probably try to not go anywhere, but in case he actually just... teleported somewhere, maybe he should just ask where he is. He glances at his back. He's in front of a bar named Mystic Grill, which... okay, shitty name, but he could be anywhere in fuck-all-middle-of-nowhere Idaho for all he knows. He takes out his cellphone, and there is zero reception.

Bad news.

He sees a blonde kid with a police badge coming up the road, so he clears his throat and stops him.

"Uh, officer?"

"Hello," the kid says, "I don't remember seeing you around here."

Yeah, because I'm not from this world, most likely. "Eh," Tony lies, "I was driving my car but it broke down outside town and the way I got in, there wasn't a sign. Would you mind telling me where exactly I ended up?"

"Mystic Falls," the guy says, "I didn't know the damned State of Virginia now took us off the maps, too." That was sarcastic, Tony can hear it, but.

He's sure that there is no such place where he comes from.

"Right," Tony says, "I'll, uh, be out to find a mechanic then."

The kid gives him instructions to reach one, Tony thanks him and lets him go. Well, he can't certainly go anywhere now, but at least it seems like they fucked up just his -

"What the fuck," he hears from his left side -

Just in time to see a blonde guy wearing a white armor and a white cloak fall through a portal just the same as his own, that disappears a moment later. The blonde guy has green eyes, Tony notices, is lacking a right hand because he has a rather heavy golden prothesis on it that looks tacky also for his own tastes and looks completely out of his depth as he moves to his feet.

"Uh," Tony says, "I imagine you aren't from... here."

"Certainly not," the guy says, sounding... near hysterical, as he takes the surroundings. "What - what are those things anyway?" Cars. Oh fuck, he's looking at cars. "How are you dressed? What - what are these houses?"

"Er," Tony says, "humor me a moment. What's your name and where do you come from?"

The guy rolls his eyes. "Jaime Lannister, and I come from Westeros, thank you very much, now where the hell am I?"

... Great, Tony thinks, now it's not even someplace where the USA exist. "Er," Tony says, "in another world. Listen, it's my fault, I, uh, sort of caused it, and my colleague will most likely fix it, but it's really better we don't go anywhere so he can locate us more easily. Tell you what, can I buy you a drink while we wait?"

"Another world?" The guy blurts, and then - then he stares at Tony, then at his surroundings, then rolls his eyes again.

"You know what," he says, "I've had a shit long day. What can this be on top of fucking undead Catelyn Stark? Buy me the fucking drink."

I'm not doing drunk science anymore, Tony vows to himself as they walk inside the place, and he really hopes he can spin some story as to why the guy with him is wearing bonafide armor -

"And who the fuck are the two of you now?"

So: Tony had not taken into account that there would be just one person in the bar and that this person would be of course not human because no one human could pin the two of them to the wall in a split second and hold them there with such strength, and that's how he finds out that pretty guy with blue eyes, dark hair, pale skin and homicidal face is a damned vampire.

Except that the moment Tony explains it - Jaime or whoever he is is just keeping his mouth shut, wisely - the guy stares at them, and then more, and then -

"With everything I've seen in the last years," he says, "honestly, that's not even the most fucking stupid. So, you just want to lounge around until your friend shows up to fix whatever the fuck you did?"

"Er, yes?"

"Whatever. I'm Damon. I can cover your drinks and compel the bartender to forget your face. I sorely fucking need some myself."

He lets them go, but then - "Get that armor off," he tells Jaime, "this isn't New York City."

"I can't just leave my armor around!"

"Just leave it in the bathroom and take it back later," Damon shrugs, and then nods towards what's most likely the bathroom.

Jaime shrugs and goes, muttering something about maybe having drank too much milk of the poppy, and Tony doesn't want to know whatever the hell that is.

--

"Listen," Jaime says later, wearing an attire that's still obviously Middle-Ages-like but at least doesn't stand out too much, sipping at the bourbon Damon shoved at them, "I'm choosing to think I'm making this all up, but if I'm not, how long will it be before I can go back where I come from? Because you dragged me away from a rather fucking delicate situation."

"No idea," Tony shrugs, "but he's good at his job. And he was less drunk than me. We might get you back at the point you left."

"And what would that delicate situation be?" Damon asks. "Entertain me."

"And why should I tell you?"

"First, I bought you that alcohol and you're definitely enjoying it. Second, this is my town and I could tear your throat open if I wanted to." Fuck. He just showed fangs at the both of them. What the fuck. "Also, my murderous former girlfriend who is the cause of all my problems just finally fucked off this planet for good after possessing my current girlfriend who looks like her but really is the whole contrary and my best friend just came back to life after being dead for a whole lot of time and it's a complicated situation and I need a distraction or ten."

"That... sounds like something," Tony mutters, sipping at his alcohol. It's good, at least.

"Believe me, it is. So, what's the poison from Middle Ages here?"

"Ah, fuck that," Jaime says, takes a drink, and starts talking.

--

Half an hour later, Tony thinks that he and Damon are equally staring at the guy with the same disbelieving face.

"... Was that the undead woman that got you like this?" Jaime asks, blinking. "Considering that he seems like he's some kind of living dead, that's a tad hypocritical."

"No," Damon says, "that's the least of my problems. How haven't you frenched this Brienne person already?"

"I frenched?"

"Dude, he's from the Middle Ages," Tony takes pity on him. "He means put your tongue in her mouth."

"I - what - she's not - I'm not -"

"Listen," Damon cuts him, "I've been there. I mean, thinking I couldn't live without an arse who didn't give a fuck about me, which you admitted. But you do realize you spent at least five minutes of your charming tale describing us exactly how this Brienne of yours is ripped and has pretty eyes and was about to die for you?"

"Yeah, uh," Tony says, "let it come from someone who had the right people in front of him for ages and didn't let himself go for it, you really don't wanna drag it any longer."

"That's - she's a knight, that's not -"

"Oh, sure, all knights are shit where you come from, you said that, but suddenly someone would rather hang than kill you and you're here jittering because you got sucked here while she's dealing with a zombie that wanted you dead but I have to think you don't wanna french her?" Damon rolls his eyes again, pours himself another drink and honestly, Tony has cut down on the alcohol lately but he's gonna just make a damned exception. "Please."

"He's right," Tony says, "and also, let it come from someone whose dad was loaded on money and fairly shitty and still way better than yours, whatever he said about you is wrong."

"How do you know -" Jaime starts, half-blanching.

"Told you," Tony shrugs, "loaded on money, shitty father, at least I missed out on the shit sister. Honestly, man, just fucking drop her like hot coal and follow your gut. And let it come from someone who's fucked around a lot to get distracted, if you wanted to bone her in that bath then you're into her."

"I -" Jaime goes red in the face, finishes the drink, "it's not like it ever happened with anyone else before, it was a mistake, most likely -"

Damon gives him a look that looks halfway worried.

Tony thinks he just matched it, except even more worried.

"My vampire friend," he says, "are you thinking what I am thinking?"

"I'm afraid so," Damon says, and then looks back at Jaime. "Newsflash," he goes on, "if you get hard looking at a naked woman most likely you find her attractive. Also, you can find more than one person attractive in your life. And let it come from someone who's been there in the sense that I thought I could only love fucking Katherine, you really don't want to keep on doing it."

"I didn't say I wasn't done with Cersei," Jaime replies, somewhat weakly.

"Good," the two of them reply at the same time, and Tony has to snort.

"Look at that," he says, "for once I'm the one with the healthiest relationship history sitting at a table. Who'd have thought?"

"Fuck this," Damon says, "I'm getting more bourbon."

"Please," Jaime says, and - well. Seems like when Bruce comes to collect him, Tony won't be sober.

--

"Wait," Jaime says, "wait, wait, wait, she possessed your girlfriend?"

"Yeah, well, as if," Damon shrugs, "honestly, sometimes I think I should have just run away to New York after deserting."

"You deserted what?" Tony asks.

"The fucking confederacy," Damon shrugs. "Well, what are you staring about? I'm a vampire, I've been around ages, I'm from fucking middleofnowhere Virginia, you think I got drafted with the unionists? But I disagreed and I hated it and I never wanted to go, so I fucking deserted. I hope you aren't here judging me, or -"

"Please, I used to build weapons for the army and stopped when I realized it wasn't what I wanted to be, and honestly, that just means you have a conscience, so -"

"Wait, you did what," Jaime says.

"Deserted. An army. Back in the day. Risked my neck for it, and I came back and met Katherine and honestly I should have just gone North, but -"

"Hm," Jaime says, drinking, and then - "you don't regret it?"

"No," Damon says at once, "best decision I ever took. Why, you want to do that, too?"

"Sure he wants to," Tony says when Jaime doesn't immediately reply. "Let me guess, not just your army. You want to desert the whole shebang, don't you?"

"I don't know what a fucking shebang is, but yes. So what?"

"Well, if you want my been there done that advice, do that," Damon shrugs. "From what it sounds like, your entire world is collapsing because of zombies anyway, what do you have to lose? Your sister? You're better fucking off without."

Jaime stares down at the glass, then knocks it down. "Can I have another?"

"Sure," Damon says, and generously tips it.

--

"So what," Tony says, "now that your best friend you had a thing with while your girlfriend was with your brother is back to life you're having trouble adjusting?"

"She also hadn't been possessed by my murderous ex until then," Damon shrugs.

Jaime just looks at them, then drinks some more. "Who am I to judge on that anyway," he says, "but that sounds like a lot of work."

"You wouldn't believe," Damon shrugs, knocking down some more of his bourbon. "Never mind that Stefan won't get over brooding instead of fessing up to the girl he is in love with now, but it's not like I hadn't expected it."

"Tell him to," Jaime says at once. "I let my father fuck things up for my brother once and I hate that I ever did, just - don't."

"This is getting fucking eerie," Damon says.

Tony, who is currently feeling very thankful he doesn't have siblings, takes another sip. Then -

"Man, if it's complicated just date the both of them. If they both like you and aren't the kind of super monogamous people that can't handle a threesome once in a while, they won't have a problem."

"... And what do you know?"

He shrug. "Well," he says, "my steady girlfriend was in front of my eyes for years. Took us a while to get over ourselves. The guy I was doing drunk science with, well. Was an instant hit and I didn't let myself drag it in the centuries and guess what, we have a nice lovely arrangement where I'm with both of them, they commiserate about how much of an idiot I can be and sometimes we all occasionally have sex. It's grand. You should try it."

And I really hope Bruce shows up soon.

"Huh," Damon says, "maybe it has merit. For me. Not for you."

Jaime sputters. "I said nothing!"

"You shouldn't even think about threesomes. I can see it in your face you're not the type. And certainly not including your sister."

"Fuck you," Jaime replies without meaning it, "I was not considering that." Huh. Now he sounds offended Damon implied it. Maybe he really will fess up to the other one when he's back.

"Then it means this enlightening talk has enlightened you," Tony grins. "Mind telling us more about that hand?"

"And why?"

Tony shrugs. It's not like he doesn't have time to waste. "What if I could help you with that thing?" He says, nodding towards Jaime's stump, and then - well. Time to test if he can summon the armor here, too.

--

"God," Damon says a while later, "I'll have to compel that poor bartender so hard, but fuck this is something."

Sure it is, Tony grins. "Hey, I managed to fuck with quantum reality, I'm not the first idiot that passes by."

"Seven Hells," Jaime says, "I have no idea what it is you're putting on me but if it works half as well as that thing you have, I'm going to show back up in King's Landing just to show my sister who has the useless hand now. If she didn't get herself killed."

"Well, now that is one reason I could approve of," Tony laughs, "and don't fucking move."

Sure, building a prothesis from the rests of whatever nonfunctioning electronics the bartender had lying around is... somewhat a challenge, but as stated, he has time to waste and it's not like he's wanted anywhere soon.

"By the way," Damon says as he watches him tinker around with the toolkit he found him in the backroom, "do you need advice in the whole I fucked up and want my brother to forgive me department?"

"What if I do?" Jaime replies through his teeth. "Because now that would distract me from how much this entire thing is fucking hurting."

The more they talk while he tinkers, the more Tony decides he's absolutely glad he was an only child and that his father only fucked one son up.

--

"You're doing this while not even being fucking sober?" Damon knocks back more bourbon. "You sure you don't wanna stay here and turn into an immortal? You'd be useful."

"Thanks but I like my life as it is," Tony snorts. "But if you need tech tinkered with, you can ask while I'm here."

Jaime is just staring at the steel-colored hand coming to life while Tony puts piece after piece together, his throat working up and down.

He drinks some more. "Fuck, if only I had such a thing when I realized what the fuck Aerys had turned into."

"Wait, who's Aerys now?" Damon asks.

--

He hadn't told them that part in detail.

When he's done and Tony is at the fourth finger, he kind of wants to hurl, but mostly -

"Do we really have to stay here," Damon says, "or you think we could sneak him to a VA? I can compel them to just hear that he's talking about Vietnam or something."

"He's not old enough for Vietnam, but you know what, I think we could risk that."

"What in the Seven Hells is a VA?"

"Someone I really could have used in the nineteenth century," Damon sighs, and then just as Tony moves to the last finger -

"Tony, what the hell is this?"

--

Turns out, where Bruce comes from it took him two days to figure this out. He also immediately spots three different improvements Tony could do to that hand, and when he hears the entire shebang he raises his hands and says that he can send Jaime right back when he left at any point and he and Tony, too, but he supposes that if they want to compel the VA before they leave it's not like he's in a hurry, and wait, vampires?

Damon ends up asking him if the threesome thing is really working out as well as Tony says.

While he does, Tony manages the finishing touches on the sort-of-steel-and-iron-hand he cobbled up together, and thank fuck Bruce showed up because he had been the one studying how Barnes's arm worked, back in the day, and gave Tony the pointer he needed to make sure the entire thing was... well, connected to the nervous system without needing to rip Jaime's wrist open.

"Right," he says, "try to move the fingers."

Jaime holds them in a fist.

It works.

"Seven fucking hells -"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm a genius. Just keep it out of too many lines of fire, but if you're from the middle ages it should withstand most stuff. You're welcome. And go french that knight of yours instead of waiting, really."

"I think in between him and you, you've made a case. Uh, thank you, I -"

"Nonsense, I was the reason you're here, I might as well have helped out. Hey," he says, "so, what about a last round before we drag him to the VA and Bruce here settles everything?"

"I'm so down for it," Damon says.

"Do I even have a choice," Bruce groans, but then he does sit down at the same table and lets Tony fill his glass.

"Oh, don't look like that," Tony says, "after all I didn't destroy the universe and made some friends, it could have gone worse."

"Wouldn't know about that, but I could have done worse, too," Damon says, and orders more bourbon.

"I sure as the fucking Seven Hells will never manage to explain this to anyone," Jaime says, "but I guess I'm not too disappointed, either."

"Tony," Bruce groans, "did you manage to somehow end up with two people with - never mind. Of course you did. We're never doing drunk science again, hear me?"

"Maybe so," Tony agrees, though... well.

Maybe he will want to check on them, once in a while.

But he can think about how to convince Bruce to make sure they can later.

For now, he'll enjoy his last round.

[et-lesailes]

title: the inside scoop

pairing: chris evans x reader

word count: 2461

summary: you are a reporter with a certain favorite celebrity to interview, and you’re more than excited to talk to him about his latest movie, knives out. little do you know that your massive crush on him is actually requited.

themes: fluff

taglist: @evanstush, @tanyam93, @bval-1, @wonderwinchester, @patzammit, @rohaintahquil, @deidrashouseofpain, @sammyslonglostshoe, @jadedhillon, @bohemian-barbie, @whysparker, @sebastian-i-stan, @sebabestianstan101, @lille-kattunge, @teller258316, @peach-acid, @allsortsofinterests, @xoxabs88xox, @heyiamthatbitch, @cptn-sgrogers, @heyyouwiththeassbutt, @bangtan-serendipity, @troublermalik, @beardburnsupersoldiers, @bookish-shristi, @kind-sober-fullydressed,  @gingerninjaprincess16​, @straightforwardly​,  @denisemarieangelina​,  @frencchfries​, @xlanawriter​, @littlemoistcarrot​, @pottxrwolff​, @arianatheangelworld​, @ifuseekamyevans​, @southerngracela​, @nsfwsebbie​, @rororo06​, @savemesteeb​, @raveviolet​, @inactivewhore​, @hurricanerinwrites​

notes: this was a commissioned piece requested by @straightforwardly​​ ! thank you so much for supporting me and i hope this is everything you wanted :) ** if you are interested in my commissions, check out this post right here !

You’re quickly wrapping up with hair and makeup, looking at your reflection in the mirror trying not to smile so much. You were particularly happy to wake up for work that day, all because of who you’re interviewing today.

You’ve had the pleasure of working with Chris Evans a few times before, and while at first it was his looks that drew you in, it didn’t take long for you to simply fall in love with his entire being. The first time was a little nerve wracking. You had seen other interviews where he seemed a little grumpy, tired, and annoyed with the questions he was being asked, and so you had put as much thought into your own questions as possible. You refused to be like the other journalists and reporters, the ones who simply asked Marvel related questions or how he worked out. It was easy to see that this man had personality much deeper than that, and you were always eager to explore it. You remember how your heart had been pounding right before that first interview, but the second the two of you started talking, it was simply… amazing. Despite only having known him for minutes, you had already felt perfectly comfortable and secure with him, as if you had known him for years. You had heard from others that he had that effect on people, but you never imagined it was to that extent.

Now here you are, getting ready for your fifth interview with him. Another thing you love about Chris is that he actually remembers who you are, each and every time. It always makes you feel special, though you have to remind yourself to calm down- he’s simply considerate and personable, he probably remembers other reporters he’s seen multiple times too.

“Alright, you’re all set. Chris finished up a few minutes ago, he’s probably out there getting seated.” The stylist tells you, and you smile up at him with a nod. “Thank you!” Standing up, you take a deep breath as you inspect yourself in the mirror. You’ve become used to seeing celebrities as a part of your job, but Chris is the only one who has your heart racing and butterflies fluttering. Even interviewing Jason Momoa for Aquaman couldn’t get you as simultaneously excited and nervous as appearing before Chris; you have the biggest crush on him, but at the same time, what can you do about it? Honestly, you’re convinced he probably has a secret girlfriend- it simply makes no sense to you that a man like him is single.

‘Thank God for hair and makeup,’ you think to yourself, pleased with your appearance- it’s not too overdone, but just the right amount, mainly just so the lighting doesn’t wash you out on camera. You gather your cards and take another breath, forcing yourself to calm down before going out to where the chairs are- you were hoping to play it cool, but the second you see him, a wide smile emerges on your face. How a man can look so handsome simply sitting there wearing a long sleeve maroon sweater and fitted jeans while playing around with a water bottle in his hands, you have no idea. “Hi there! Sorry to keep you waiting.” You greet him, and he looks up, immediately grinning. “Oh, hey, Y/N!” To your surprise, he stands up and extends his arms out for a hug, pulling you in for a warm embrace as if you’re a longtime friend he hasn’t seen in a while. You’re shocked but you quickly take the opportunity to hug him back, resisting the urge to inhale how damn good he smells. His broad chest feels so warm and perfect against you, and you swear you could be in this position forever.

“How have you been?” you ask as normally as you can, finally pulling back with a smile and gesturing for him to sit as you do as well. “Oh, same old, same old. I have to say though, I’ve been looking forward to this. I love interviewing with you, you always ask such awesome questions!” he compliments you, and you’re squealing on the inside. “Ahh, now I feel so much pressure!” you joke, though give him an appreciative smile as you cross your legs. “Thank you, though. That means a lot, I really do try to avoid the questions actors seem to hear all the time.”

“I’ve noticed, and I appreciate it.” Chris replies with a smile, his blue eyes sparkling more beautifully than the goddamn ocean. It’s truly overwhelming how handsome he is; you feel as though looking at him is like staring right into the sun sometimes. “I’m glad to hear that,” you say somewhat shyly, but clear your throat, glancing towards the cameraman. “We ready to start?” 

“All good,” he replies with a thumbs up, and you wait for the signal before beginning with a smile. “Hello, everyone! I’m Y/N, and I’m here with Chris Evans today to talk a little about his latest movie, Knives Out!” Chris waves to the camera with a little smile, but almost immediately looks back towards you. “Glad to be here, Y/N.” God, you love when he says your name. ‘Hold it together, Y/N.’ You think to yourself; thankfully, your job basically consists of looking composed on the outside, and so you’ve at least had plenty of practice.

You give a brief summary of the movie to begin, then go into speaking about his character, Ransom. Looking towards him, you tilt your head slightly. “Now I know you played the ultimate golden boy when it came to Captain America, but a lot of your roles in the past have actually had a more twisted and angsty side. Curtis Everett in Snowpiercer, Syd in London, Mike Weiss in Puncture, and especially Bryce Langley in Fierce People. Was it a difficult adjustment going back to playing a more villainous character, or did you have a good time with it?”

“Wow. Even bringing out Fierce People, huh? You really did your research,” he teases, making you laugh softly before he continues to answer, looking thoughtful. “Honestly, it was pretty fun. Don’t get me wrong, I loved playing Captain America and the other lighter, comedic roles are fun too. But being a little wicked and vile is pretty entertaining as an actor. I missed it a lot, and I think I clicked with it again pretty easily.” He pauses before laughing, looking at the camera. “I make that seem like I’m just naturally an evil person. Like, ‘Yeah, it’s so easy for me to be an asshole on camera- because I am one in real life!’” he makes fun of himself, and you can’t help but laugh again as you reply playfully, “Well, you are from Boston, aren’t you? What are they called over there? Massholes?” He blinks and laughs loudly, grabbing his left pec which only makes you giggle to yourself and feel oddly triumphant at the same time. You love making him laugh. “Oh God, you’ve heard that term? Yeah, I’d say that definitely describes me pretty well.”

“Oh, c’mon, you’re not that bad.” You remark playfully, then realize you should probably stop transitioning this interview into flirtatious banter, and so you decide to move on to the next question. “Now for this particular movie, you have a variety of actors and actresses around you- some who are insanely experienced and have been in the industry for decades, and some who, while experienced, are young and only continue to climb upwards in their career. How did you feel, being a part of that? Does it bring back memories, does it influence you, do you influence or guide them?” you ask curiously, continuing, “You’re such an accomplished actor, and this cast was pretty remarkable as well- I imagine there were all sorts of different feelings working with them.” 

Chris nods as he listens carefully, smiling and even looking somewhat intrigued. “That’s a great question. Yeah, I was definitely pretty nervous actually. I really wanted this role, and I was kind of intimidated going into it all. These people are amazing, honestly. I feel like I’ve learned so much from them, from Daniel to Jaeden, and I can only hope that I’m able to be a good influence on other actors as the ones I look up to are to me. It’s interesting that you mention memories, though. Seeing younger actors and actresses always reminds me of myself when I was younger- and then proceeds to make me feel very old.” He laughs, shaking his head to himself. “But watching Jaeden and Katherine, God, they’re great. They have such drive, ambition, and they’ve already made it so far. They’re so fun and I’m pretty sure I was nowhere near as talented as them at that age, but I definitely remember having that energy.” 

You can’t help but smile as you listen to him. You’ve seen in other interviews that he wants to start a family one day, and that he’s excited to be a father. It’s adorable to you that he appreciates younger castmates so much, and even shows respect to them as actors. “You don’t think you still have that energy?” you tease, and he laughs, making an “eh” gesture with his hand. “Sometimes, but I’m telling you, I’ve gotten old. Years of action movies and stunts will do that to you,” he jokes, and you remember that he actually did a lot of his own stunts for the Captain America movies- no wonder he has such nice muscles. “Well, if it’s any consolation, you certainly don’t look old.” You can’t help but reply, but glance back down at your cards, forcing yourself to stay on track. The cameraman, one of your friends, is probably snickering to himself, and you bet you’re going to get quite interesting comments once this video is uploaded. How can you not go back and forth with him though, just a little? He makes it so easy, what with his perfect sense of humor, contagious laugh, and mere eye contact. He makes you feel like a person, a friend, not just some nosy reporter.

After a few more questions (and a teensy bit of flirting), the interview finally comes to an end. “I hope you guys are excited to watch this movie, because I’m telling you, it’s a good one- and I think everyone will be very entertained by Ransom Drysdale.” You remark with a raised brow, looking to him with a soft laugh. “Thank you for coming, Chris!” He smiles charmingly, waving at the camera. “Thanks for having me, Y/N. I had a great time.”

The cameraman signals that he’s stopped recording, but flashes you a little smirk before turning to the crew to discuss the work that needs to happen next. You blush slightly but clear your throat, looking up at him- you hate this part because he’ll have to leave soon, but you’re hoping you can squeeze in just a little conversation before that happens. “Seriously, thanks again. Honestly, you’re one of my favorite celebrities to interview,” you admit with a slight laugh, biting your lip. “You actually answer with… depth.” He laughs too, barely leaning forward. “Oh, yeah? Are you accusing celebrities of being airheads?” 

“Some of them!” you can’t help but answer bluntly, and both of you are laughing again. Now he bites his lip, suddenly looking at you a little more intensely than before- you hope your cheeks aren’t becoming as red as they feel. “Hey, Y/N. Can I ask you something?” You nod a little too fast, your curiosity piqued. “Of course. What’s up?”

“Do you, uh…” he pauses for a few moments before chuckling slightly, waving his hand. “Ah, fuggit, I’m just gonna come out with it.” His Boston accent comes out even stronger than usual as he swears, and you love and hate how attractive it sounds. “Are you dating anyone?” 

Your heart is pounding at this point, and you have to force yourself to respond in a way in which your voice doesn’t shake. “No, I’m not.” You cock your head, holding back a smile. “Why do you ask…?” He seems to look pleased about this, even visibly perking up before suddenly looking uncertain again, laughing awkwardly. “Okay. Okay, um, please tell me if this is crossing any lines. Like, please. Don’t be scared to slap me, even.” He jokes, and now you’re feeling the excitement bubbling up inside, though at the same time your brain is screaming at you not to raise your hopes up. “I have permission to slap you. Noted.” You tease in return, proud of yourself that you still somehow seem to have your wits intact. He laughs, eyes twinkling as he continues, “I know we’ve only had a professional relationship but… I was… kinda hoping I could take you out sometime. Dinner, walking the dog, a movie, ice cream, roller skating- anything. I just… man, I really want to get to know you.” He confesses, and it takes you everything to not practically jump up and down and squeal right there. You’re shocked. You truly never thought that someone as famous and attractive as him would be interested in a mere reporter.

“Chris.” You smile widely, nothing but eagerness in your sparkling eyes. “I would love that.” You blush slightly, adding, “If we’re being honest, I’ve had a crush on you for like, years now.” Chris widens his eyes, scoffing in playful frustration as he buries his head in his hands. “You’re serious? God dammit, I knew I should have asked you earlier!” He looks up at you again, sighing deeply. “I really just assumed you were dating someone. Hell, even married. I mean, look at you, you’re gorgeous, funny, smart…. And you have depth.” He refers to your previous comment, and you laugh, though blush madly as you do so. “Thanks,” you reply softly- you swear you’ve never felt this much happiness in your life. 

His manager comes up behind him, gently tapping his shoulder. “Chris, we should get going. We have another interview to get to.” He blinks, looking somewhat disappointed but nods, looking back to you. “Mind if I get your number, then? We can talk later?” 

You nod, biting your lip delightedly as he hands you his phone as if you’re a child receiving a king sized candy bar. After putting your number in, you give it back- only to be wrapped up in another hug from him. “I’ll see ya real soon,” he whispers in your ear, and you’re blushing even deeper than before, though you nod with a little giggle.

“I can’t wait.”

[itsbenedict]

I didn’t post about everything I played this year, so here’s my opinions on the stuff I played that I didn’t make a rec post for:

Raging Loop 

Raging Loop is one of them twisty meta Zero Escape-y branching-path visual novels where an ensemble cast is trapped in a mysterious circumstance where people are dying gruesomely, and you have to find out what’s happening and stop it by looping a bunch. 

I can’t wholeheartedly recommend it, because... it tries to have its cake and eat it too with the supernatural elements. Clearly magic is real and has important impacts on the scenario, but then other parts are trickery you’re supposed to see through, and it’s entirely uninterested in cluing you in to how that trickery was accomplished. Not exactly a fair play mystery, in that regard- you have to kind of just be along for the ride, rather than try to figure it out.

That said, it’s a good ride- pretty strong character writing, and the central conceit of the Werewolf/Mafia-style murder scenario creates really interesting drama. It’s more concerned with making itself feel clever than letting the player feel clever, but it’s still well-paced and gripping and has a pretty decent resolution.

Detective Grimoire

I recommended Tangle Tower, the sequel, pretty strongly- and this one, while obviously a little rougher around the edges with the art and mechanics (the suspicion tracker system is a total dud; I didn’t even realize it existed until I realized I was missing an achievement for using it), it’s still pretty darn good. Really fun character designs and animations, fully-voiced, and a solid whodunit backing it all. Plus- while the two are more or less self-contained, the continuity threads with Tangle Tower raised some really interesting questions.

Contradiction - the all-video murder mystery

This one was pretty fun, largely on the strength of the actors. The main mechanic of interrogating people on evidence and using their own statements against each other was some good stuff, too. Definitely had that Phoenix Wright quality to the deductions, and Jenks is a really fun character. (Had a few points where progression was just linked to standing in a certain previously-abandoned area of the map where a clue was suddenly there for no reason, there- good thing it had a hint system.)

As a mystery, it could use a little work- most of what you end up finding out is sequel bait (for a sequel that never actually came together, unfortunately), and the actual whodunit is just sort of hiding in the cracks of all that. And... cornering the culprit just sort of happens out of nowhere once you’ve got your hands on the right piece of evidence, without much fanfare. You’re following up on leads like usual, you find a little lie in someone’s testimony, and then- oh, shit, they’re just confessing everything! Unlike all the previous times you questioned them and they were super evasive like everyone else! And then the game is over. 

All in all, it’s pretty meaty and entertaining and I’d recommend it, but unfortunately the creators have moved on to other things, so there’s not going to be any follow-up on the stuff it left unresolved.

Ikenfell

Ikenfell is a tightly-designed RPG about kids at a magic school, with Paper Mario-style action command mechanics and a battle system that makes a big deal out of careful positioning and movement, which was really enjoyable. The difficulty’s a little high (I recommend always always always speccing into max damage because killing things before they kill you is worth more than any amount of defense, speed doesn’t work, and healing is cheap), but I found it really satisfying.

There’s... something... off? About... I don’t know how to put it, it’s... doing that “yes, everyone is queer and mentally ill, deal with it” thing, which, sure, okay. But for a lot of them it’s such a background thing, like... half the playable cast is unambiguously nonbinary, but like... I don’t know if it’s trying to make some statement on how there are no rules to being NB and you can 100% perform a particular binary gender presentation but still count, or if they wrote the whole story and then changed the pronouns of some of the characters for Representation Points, or what. Probably the former? I dunno, it just feels weird. Maybe I’m just not woke enough to Get It.

(unrelatedly: why the heck is the official art they use everywhere so... off-model? none of them look like they do in-game- they look like the creator commissioned someone to draw a group shot with one reference image each and didn’t tell them anything about the characters. how much you wanna bet they commissioned a friend and it came out wrong but they were too polite to say “sorry, no, this is wrong, can you do it over?”)

Trails of Cold Steel IV

Hoo boy. It’s... not great, and it’s not great in a pretty predictable way for an even-numbered entry in the Trails series. It happens every time- first there’s a game in a new engine with new characters and a new world to explore, and it’s really nice and does interesting things... and then it ends on a cliffhanger, and then there’s a sequel game in the same engine with the same characters and the same world, reusing as many assets as possible. Also the League Of Generically Evil Anime Supervillains is there causing trouble for reasons they refuse to explain, and the plot is a storm of magicbabble and macguffin-chasing that makes little to no sense. 

Cold Steel IV is that for Cold Steel III, full stop. Welcome back to all the same places you visited last game, except this time there’s some stupid magic apocalypse happening (not that it stops you from taking the time to do random sidequests constantly, of course). The whole “oh, the evil curse mind controls people and that’s why they do stupid bullshit that’s in no one’s interest” plot point is leaned on super hard, and it’s just a big yawn the whole way through.

It’s still really fun, though, because the battle system remains really well-designed. (The same battle system that was just as fun in Cold Steel III, mind you, but it hasn’t gotten old.) And- though they’re struggling to square it with the dumb mind control apocalypse plot, the NPC dialogue continues to make the world feel believable and lived-in. They don’t slack on the parts that make Trails good- it’s just the parts that make Trails bad are making themselves more evident than ever.

did finally get to date Towa though so that’s a win

One Step From Eden

OSFE is... uh. It’s fucking hard is what it is. It’s sort of a deckbuilding roguelike, and there’s this combat that takes place on a grid, and- wait, it’s like Mega Man Battle Network, it’s exactly like Mega Man Battle Network. Man, I forgot about that, but the mechanical influence is extremely obvious. It’s MMBN meets Slay the Spire.

Except it’s super duper hard as hell, because unlike MMBN you can’t pause and swap out chips or anything- everything is just always happening so much, all at once, everywhere, and you have no recourse but to git gud and learn all the enemy patterns and the behavior of your own spells and develop the twitch reflexes necessary to not fucking die from all the shit that’s on the screen always.

(What’s the story? Uhhhh, there was some kind of magic apocalypse, and some anime girls are trying to reach a city for some reason that doesn’t really get explained ever. The game doesn’t really care to build its world at all- it’s all mechanics plus a little token character dialogue that doesn’t say much.)

The point is it’s really frickin’ hard but I am an epic pro gamer and I got ALL THE ACHIEVEMENTS, MOTHERFUCKER. If you’ve played it, I expect you to be really god damn impressed with me, okay???

A Short Hike

This one was really relaxing! It’s a platformer where you explore an Animal Crossing-y island of cartoon animal people, collecting mobility upgrades- but like, mainly it’s about straight chillin’. The flight controls are fun and there’s lots of little secrets to find and it’s just a nice time that doesn’t drag on too long. Not too much to say about this one.

Pokémon Sword

Ehhhhh.

I’m not here for the hot takes about how Dexit is good actually. Development hell happened, they had to make cuts for time, I get it. It’s disappointing and makes the game a little bit worse, but it’s not the end of the world.

Apart from that... perfectly serviceable? The Wild Area could’ve used a little more technical polish (as could most things in the game, really) but was a step in the right direction, giving the player a wider array of early-game team-building options than ever before. No HMs is good. Story and characters were kind of nothing, but that’s par for the course. “At least this time they’re not shoehorning in some kind of stupid evil-team-wants-legendary-pokemon-to-destroy-the-world apocalypse plot”, I thought to myself before they managed to shoehorn one in at the last minute with zero buildup- but, hey, beats wasting half the game on it.

It’s nothing special and it’s missing a lot of polish, but its problems are mainly due to being rushed, and presumably next gen they’ll be able to reuse a lot of the models and animations (maybe even improve the animations so they’re not so boring??? a man can dream) and make something interesting. SwSh seem like they were testing the waters for something else, and not taking too many chances in the meantime. 

(yo why would you sell all these cosmetic items and then turn them all off during gym battles, though) 

Hades

Hades is- oh, who am I kidding? Everyone knows Hades, it’s the game of the year, greatest thing since sliced bread, Supergiant are heroes, yada yada yada. I’ve played almost 300 hours of it and I’ve completed everything except all the Resources Director levels (currently a Sigma Wraith), it’s extremely fun and you don’t need me to tell you that.

Petal Crash

It was that thing the Paranatural creator helped on? It’s, uh. It’s a block-sliding puzzle game thing, sort of in a Puyo Puyo vein. It has fun character designs and some good dialogue, like you’d expect from Zack’s involvement, but it didn’t really leave an impression otherwise (besides how got dang infuriating some of its Turn Trial puzzles can be.) The story is... kinda heartwarming, kinda didactic, kinda childish, not especially deep or interesting. Hard for it to be, when it’s told through little bits of fluffy character dialogue that exist to set up a puzzle battle as quickly as possible. Not super recommended unless you really really like block-sliding puzzles.

Hollow Knight

Man, why’d I sleep on this for so long? It’s a metroidvania platformer with heavy Dark Souls inspiration, in terms of tone and difficulty and death mechanics and environmental storytelling. And it’s... apart from all that, just really good as a game, with tight controls and juicy movement and great animation. Progression is linked as much to mastery as it is to upgrades collected- I found myself in lategame areas facing down things that would’ve killed me ten times over at the start- not because I had the best gear, but because I’d learned the game’s language and understood how to move in ways that wouldn’t get me killed.

(Usually. Sometimes I’d walk into a room and sit on a bench and suddenly there’d be a boss fight and I’d get slaughtered. Ain’t that just the way it goes?)

Anyway, on top of all that it’s just charming as hell, with a really unique and well-realized world full of little bug people. I love how, like, your character is clearly some kind of eldritch abomination, but it’s small and cute and so everyone (besides enemies that attack you on sight because they’re possessed by some kinda evil mold) is like “awww, who’s this little guy? want some help, little guy?”

(except Zote, who is just an ass hole. i love him.)

[betweentheracks]

On a scale of 1-5000, how annoyed do you get when people have the gall to tell you, “Wow! You’re so lucky!” when they find out that you work in entertainment and with celebrities?

Also on a scale of 1-5000, how unimpressed are you with the celebrities you end up working with?

Please share some horror stories so we can commiserate over nightmare clients! 😂

Yeef and also yikes, do I actually want to dive into this particular can of worms? Lmao. 

I thoroughly see spots of red in my vision whenever people try to do the whole “Wow, that’s really cool and lucky for you! How many famous people have you met or worked with? Your life must be so glamorous and exciting!!” Like please, spare me. It isn’t glitz and glitter all the time - in fact, the fun parts are in the minority of how working in this industry goes. Beyond that, I’m not ‘lucky,’ I worked my ass off to pull this off and have never slowed my pace (until this COVID-19 chaos) to ensure my post remains relevant. In accordance to your ranking, I guess I would go with 4999 points annoyed.

Frankly, my rating and impressions of my clients are like a river that flows on and on and yet there is no apparent water to be found. I have a good rapport with most of the ones I am contracted with exclusively, but they're prone to make my feelings change from sentence to the next. Celebrities will forever remain exhaustively effervescent. 

If you really want some dish, I can offer up some from a client I once worked with in my apprenticeship and how much I hate the time I had to spend with her while also retaining a sense of gratitude for helping shape me into someone that can withstand some of the prickly goings-on of the industry. She wasn’t even my client, as I was merely apprenticing and therefore was little more than a ghost that shadowed one of the veterans of our company. I’m highlighting this now before diving into the thick of what was the worst week in my career thus far because it is extremely important to keep in mind that I was under no actual obligation to work with this woman. 

Ahem, so, story time! Let me start off with first making it clear that even now I will only work with actresses and actors when I have no viable means of refusal. This is simply a preference of mine and stems mostly from this woman’s behaviors and treatments of me and some of the crew I worked with at the time. I was quite young when I entered my apprenticeship, like barely more than 20, and I was simultaneously accustomed and starstruck by the world I was entering. Before the apprenticeship, I had already been working off and on via temporary contracts and commissions as a MUA at the time, so I knew the ends and outs of the place and the people that worked my end of it. However, I hadn’t worked with many clients one on one as either a MUA or as an aspiring wardrobe stylist. Due to this I was still very green and awkward and hadn’t yet figured out the line between casual and professional (to this day, for me, this line is nearly nonexistent) and I tended to make a mess whenever I opened my mouth so mostly I kept quiet and melded into my role as an observing trainee with occasionally useful ideas but was mostly just an extra pair of hands. The stylist I was shadowing was, in a word, cumbersome. They weren’t a very great teacher and had a tendency to drop projects into my lap without much proper instruction or insight and would leave me to attempt making sense of what was wanted by means of vision boards and client portfolios. In much a similar fashion, when a scheduling conflict came up involving the actress which will star in this tale and another more major artist; naturally, he had to see to the client he had a more tangible contract with and stuck me with wrangling our golden girl. 

Within the first 4 sentences of our first exchange as stylist and client I hated her immensely. She was the type of client I abhor to work with; overbearing and demanding, thankless and impatient. She was in the midst of her career finally catching some interest which is the most pivotal time in any celebrity’s career and I like to think she was so bitchy and just plain mean due to the stress and pressure she was under but it doesn’t make what happened any more justifiable. Her immediate and first words to me were, “You’re young and clueless enough to be my baby sister. Whatever authority you think you can have in dictating what I wear ended with the sound of the door opening when you stepped in, get that straight now.” I remember this extremely clearly because I went from gobsmacked to incensed within the time it takes to pop the top on a can of soda. But! I knew at least enough to know to keep my mouth shut and temper my immediate dislike of this person and tried to push forward and steer the conversation in the direction of what her ideal style and presentation should be. It went well enough for all of an hour tops before she domed me again by calling me “baby sis” in place of my name. As I am, in fact, the baby sis of my family I am well aware of when a power play is being maneuvered in on me and spotted this for what it was: her trying to remind me that I had no right to be speaking to her, let alone designing her. This was a culmination of her being upset and put out that she wasn’t chosen by my mentoring stylist and was stuck with someone that had basically no merits behind her. 

Calling me this wasn’t really an issue for me, but it did chafe against my skin enough to make me feel uncomfortable and anxious. Still, I let it slide and she continued to call me as such for the duration of our time together. The true horror of this story is what comes next and the escalation from minor verbal insults meant to belittle me fanned into blatant sabotage. She and I had come to a sort of estranged agreement when it came to modeling her vision board - she wanted to retain some traces of her perceived sweet and demure self from when she was cast in her first role, but play up the maturity and grace she held now and have it reinvented into timeless class while holding a touch of being chic. It was a headache to make sense of since, from a the perspective of fashion and trends at that time, this wasn’t the ideal and even seemed counterintuitive to someone in her position and of her age. I went along with it and threw myself into the quest to pull from the brands she mentioned liking most and for days I learned firsthand how exhausting and tedious it is to make acquisitions and swear responsibilities/accountabilities one after the other and put my name and my company on the line. I handpicked every item and steadily managed to pull off forming my second ever ensemble of 4 sets of styles each with 2 or 3 substitution items that could alter the look entirely while still remaining within the realm of what the client had asked for. I worked upward of 13 hours for 4 days and when I finally was able to bring the client to her showroom and present my designs, I was only able to feel relieved for mere minutes before she began to yell and make a scene. She demanded my supervisor and the head of the styling department of our company both come to tend to her and see what a mockery I had made of her ideal image. She went on to use her acting quirks to insinuate that I had gone off half-cocked and overruled her every idea and word and then dared to present her with such low quality fashions. She even managed to produce a vision board that was entirely different from the one she and I had planned together! It was obviously done by herself and lacked the detailed attention any of the stylists housed in our company would have added, but it was convincing enough to appear damning. 

At this point my head was in a weird place, trying to make sense of the perilous world I was throwing myself into and the fact that this was actually happening to me at all and wasn’t just me daydreaming while watching daytime dramas. After I worked through that initial shock, I was more than mad but less than enraged. I was confused as to why this client was being so purposefully obstinate and difficult for me, even briefly wondered what sort of grievance I could have possibly cost her when I had only just met her and had done my utmost to seem cool and pro like all the seasoned stylists I had worked with. I thought I was going to lose my job and have to go back to my family with my tail between my legs and tell them they were right and I never should have strayed from my original course and career path. I only became aware that I was crying, like big fat tears that made a mess of my face and were embarrassing to the point that I wanted to flee, because my supervisor had given me his handkerchief. It was at this point that I teetered and looked deeply at the person accusing me and wasting my time and efforts and realized that it wasn’t about me and was only ever about her. This moment of clarity, though, was like the opening of a gate I had been clinging to all week in hopes of keeping all my spurned senses quietly simmering beneath my skin rather than wreck my name and finish off my chances before they truly begun. I very rudely told my supervisor and the department head that if they needed proof of my hardwork and dedication to the vision of a thoughtless actress caught in the weeds of her own wilting fame then they were free to examine my copy of the original vision board and compare it with the one she had; that they could check through the 15 or so LORs under my name and in her stead (both names are featured for security means). Anyway, she was attempting to spill a stain across our company and specifically the stylist in charge of me for blowing her off. Her idea was that if I failed in a big way it would make him look like a horrible mentor and cost him some of his reputation. I was merely cannon fodder.

This got insanely long - let’s put it up to me also being a storyteller and writer as well as very passionate about this encounter. It sparked the timid embers of my uncertain pursuit of my career into a fire that has since gotten me through many other rounds of hard hitting clients and their excessive personalities and entitled arrogance. I love my job a lot, but man is this industry full of bullies.  

[jokertrap-ran]

[Drama CD]   AGF’19  Uta No Prince Sama: Sweets Vampire ~Key towards your heart~ Side: Kotobuki Reiji

Company: Broccoli CV: Morikubo Shoutaro ( 森久保 祥太郎 )

*Commissioned by @utapriciation, Thank you! *Spoiler free: Translations under cut

Commissions are still open!

A place where only the chosen can tread upon; a forbidden mansion. The enthralling scent of sweet chocolate and freshly baked confectioneries drifts in the air, enticing and ensnaring the poor souls that dare step foot into the mansion.

And sleeping within the tightly enclosed chocolate coffins…

Were none other than Vampires. Eternal, immortal, immaculate and seeking love forevermore. The only things that can awaken these slumbering being are a secret key and your sweet, delicious love.

And that key, is proof that you’ve entered a contract with one of the dwelling vampires in the mansion. Such an innocent and pure love you bring; so much power. Thus, the vampire will wait upon you. In exchange for the immense power they gain in return.

Now…

Use that burning passion of yours to melt these glacial icy hearts that never beat…

For a sought after, never-ending, immortally eternal love. I wonder if you know how long I’ve waited for such a moment to come. You’re the main character from the moment that key landed in your hand.

Sweets Vampire: Key to melt your heart

⊹ ˚✩ ━━━━━━━ ༻ ✩ ༺ ━━━━━━━ ✩˚ ⊹

Mnngh…? Just a little...Let me sleep for a while more. Let me slumber till later in the da- no, I suppose it should be early in the day now. I’ve been up writing all day long. It’s still early in the night so I can still have the excuse of laying back a little easier, right? Besides, I don’t think it’s ethical for you to be coming all the way here without informing anyone beforehand. Even I have conveniences to meet, despite how I look, I’m actually quite the busy person.

There’s no need for you to apologize that much. Everyone makes mistakes. How about this then; My head hurts from the lack of sleep so could you rub it gently for me? Treat it as an apology of sorts, if you have to.

Is this the first time you’re meeting a vampire? You don’t have to be that terrified. Look, see? I’m not that different from a human now, am I? How nice. You might have a knack for massaging heads. There; you’re finally smiling. That suits you much better. Here, come closer so that you’ll be able to reach better with your massage. Heh, caught you. See? I lied about my head hurting. I mean, look. I’m a vampire, so there’s no way I could ever be suffering from sleep deprivation. I’m dead, after all. See? My heart doesn’t beat now, does it? You already know that and you want me to release my hold on you? Nope. I wish to stay close to you for a bit longer.

Yeah. Huh, I can’t believe this excuse actually works. Your innocence and naiveness is an attractive feature in and off itself but this means that you’re an easy target for trickery...and that’s not very good...I’ll be very worried in the future so I’ll educate you well. You can’t ever go onto a guy’s bed as unguarded as you are now, okay? Because someone like you will only be gobbled right up. Just joking~ Did you think I’d actually kiss you on the lips? I’m a gentleman so I’ll settle for doing it on your forehead. Well, I can understand why you’d fall for that though. I used to be an actor in the past. So this means that I’ve yet to lose my acting prowess. Hm? You want to hear more about my past? Wow, you’re really brimming with curiosity when it comes to me, huh.

Sure. I’ll tell you everything; until you eventually get bored of it.

Just like I told you before, I was an actor before I became a vampire. I was part of a theatrical troupe, writing stories to entertain the folks and those of higher class. Stories about affection and love were the hot favourites. Things like gossip, maybe. I’m sharp, so I pick up on these things easily. Plus, there’s no end to it on the streets so I had plenty of references to work with. However, somewhere along the way, I felt an emptiness in my heart. I write to support myself, so I have to be aware of what the recruiters would want to see. I’d write what they’d want and not what I, myself, wanted. So I was troubled for quite a while, thinking if the works I made were actually things that I personally wanted to write. And then came a genius, who eventually became my rival while I was still conflicting with myself. I was in a hurry, panicking about the new rival. So I made a story, one with a hint of spice, based off a real incident. Something different from the rest of my works up till now. Something taboo. And then...Somebody poisoned me. Alas, that’s how I came to be standing here right now. I guess I dug my own grave since I used the story of someone else as a stepping stone to elevate myself from the masses in a fit of wild panic.

While I might have used unorthodox methods back then, I learnt one thing from that fatal experience of mine. Vampires aren’t the scary ones in the world; it’s humans that you have to be afraid of. Because just a little of anything, a small misstep; and they’d kill you off without batting an eyelid. But!! That might be what makes humans so alluring. All that power they hold in their hands, one that can end another’s life despite what a small minute existence they are. Now, I wonder how far that story has traveled after my death. Perhaps it may be still alive, moving around the streets through word of mouth. Maybe more popular, now that I’m no longer a part of the living. I guess that might just be what amounts to the stage equipment in a play since the world’s just like one gigantic stage in my eyes.

Who killed me? Was it me? Was it a Sparrow? Or was it someone, who noticed me and eventually grew to despise me? Now, here’s a story. You can only count how many there might be that arises. This story is one where people who have died turn into vampires and are revived as such. Those who still hold onto the strings of feelings so strong that they’re able to return to the land of the living. Different, but amongst them. And now, with how I am right now! I can write and research anything I wish, freely. I’ve been writing, just as I have been before I died. It’s a life that I could only dream of before. And what colours my life now...That’d be Tokiya and Syo. They were turned into vampires way after me, but they’re an interesting duo, those two. Tokiya was a doctor before he turned. A genius, researching immortality. If he lived a little longer...his research might have been stolen by others. But I don’t know what happened now that he’s firmly out of the picture. Syo’s his friend. He’s still as bright and honest as ever, despite having turned. Now, if only I was like that. I’d probably be going down a different path in life and I probably wouldn’t have been poisoned to death either.

In exchange for pulling a few strings here to allow them to live in this manor, they exchanged their life stories for a roof over their heads. And now I’m free to use their stories to make my own. Although it’s a little hard to swallow because you’re writing stories about how pitiful the lives of others are. Tokiya even brought up how he wasn’t such a chatterbox. And Syo got mad real quick and yelled about how I shouldn’t be writing him off as a midget.

Although I personally think that’s only but the truth, but that might be why they’re in denial in the end. It’s still a happy incident, though. Freedom after death. Everyone can enjoy the stories of anybody to their heart’s content with no fear of any drawbacks whatsoever. 

Ah...Sorry, this conversation went on a little longer than expected. Let’s end the small talk here and get to the real topic at hand. What I actually want to talk about right now is our story. This new story of ours that is about to unfold. It might be too early, but how about one of love and romance with a little flair of the dramatic? It’s up to you to decide how this story turns out in the end. With you as the master and how this romance with the underling blooms. How about we start it off like this? It was love at first sight. Me, the underling who’s subjugated under the master, wakes up to see a cute, lovely girl. And she wasn’t just cute but she was innocent as well. Those bright sparkling eyes that’d look at me as she’d hear everything that I have to say. The owner of a beautiful heart. I wonder how I can make someone so lovely fall for me. Even though I want to treasure you and treat you as the treasure you’re supposed to me, there’s a part of me, somewhere within. Something greedy and ugly that wants to take you all for myself. Even though I’m normally smooth around others, I just don’t know what to do with myself when I’m around you. I’m no good, aren’t I?

That’s not the case at all? Really? No lying. You just, can’t. Even if you’re trying to be nice. Haha. You don’t have to deny so vehemently, I get it. I know fully well that you mean it. Besides, the sound of my heartbeat is drowning out everything else when you gaze at me like that. You’re just as lovely and nice as I thought you were. I can never win against something like that. Even if I try to shy away, you’d just open more doors into more possibilities. Heh, that’s right. I can’t just be hiding and running away from everything. I have to throw away this veil of lies and deceit and show you the real me that’s hiding behind this facade that I created. That’s right, I’m not the one that needs this veil right now. Perhaps you’re the one that requires it most. This veil, set atop your head, whit and flowy. And then a profession of love that’s not far behind. Ah, yes. The end of this story will be nothing short of a happy ending. Clapping’s forbidden, though. How strange for me to be this muddled when it comes to you. So much that my mind blanks out and I can’t think of anything else. I never knew that it was such a wonderful feeling to be able to trust someone from the very bottom of my heart like this.

I think the final and last part of this story has already been set in stone. And so, the duo shared a hot passionate kiss and lived on happily forever. Now, here’s the kiss to seal it all. I love you.

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Zuisoroku Omokage-Hana Drama CD “At Shimabara”

I think quarantine is finally getting to me lol. Or perhaps it’s just that I’m only starting to feel overwhelmed right now cuz of my classes... or how awful the news coming from south of the border is... so I kinda went on an absurd spending spree... then decided to finally get a translation for this commissioned because I reaaaaaally wanted to know what happens in this drama as I believe it’s the only one with just Saito, Hijikata and Kazama in it... 

anyway. 

This is translation is of the 薄桜鬼 随想録 面影げ花 いまじんWebショップ オトメパック限定特典ドラマCD 「島原にて」 (name and image pulled from suruga-ya) which google mtl basically says is the game’s Image Web Special Edition CD... or something. the entirety of that is not mentioned in the audio so I don’t really care. lol.

This was translated by the lovely Ran @jokertrap-ran​. Check out Ran’s page here for info on commissions! Thank you again for accepting my commission, Ran!

Edited this a tiny bit since I’m only sticking this up as a text translation post.

Hakuoki Zuisouroku Limited Edition Drama CD “At Shimabara”

Translation by @jokertrap-ran

(footsteps, then a door slides open)

Saito: I have returned, Vice-Commander.

Hijikata: Oh, Saito. How was it? Did you manage to successfully see the messenger from the Shogunate back? Heh, I suppose there’s no use asking you that. There’s no way someone like you would leave any stone unturned.

Saito: Indeed; everything has been set into place. He told me to relay the message that they’ll stay on standby once evening comes once we reached the courtyard, vice-commander.

Hijikata: So it seems like they’ve finally acknowledged our strength, huh. There’s nothing I can say if we finally have something that stands out in their eyes. Good work out there, Saito.

Saito: It is only my duty.

Hijikata: You’re still as stiff and uptight as ever...Well, now that this has been settled, how about enjoy a cup of tea and relax for once?

Saito: But Vice-Commander, don’t we have to return to headquarters?

Hijikata: I’m actually still a little tipsy from when we were entertaining the guests earlier so I thought of sobering up before we returned.

Saito: I see. Then, I shall partake in a cup.

Hijikata: Come to think of it, you aren’t a light-weight, right?

Saito: No, I can’t say that I’m that resistant to alcohol…

Hijikata: What are you holding back for? You can’t just be going with a single cup! Here, have a ton!

Saito: Vice-Commander? A ton? Did I hear you wrongly…? Are you perhaps still a little inebriated?

Hijikata: There’s absolutely no way that little bit of alcohol would ever make me drunk!

Saito: But didn’t you say so earlier that you were still feeling a little intoxicated…?

Hijikata: You’re starting to sound like Kondou-san and Sannan-san. “I know more about how much you can handle than you, yourself”.

Saito: No, it wasn't my intention to be suspecting you but…

Hijikata: Yea, I know. There’s no swaying you once you’ve already set your mind onto something. However, there are still times where you need to loosen your shoulders a little. That’s why you should drink a little and relax, for once.

Saito: Understood. If you insist, Vice-Commander. But, drinking alone is a little... It would be much appreciated if you could join me as well, even if it’s just exchanging cups. 

(pours drink)

Hijikata: I see, that might be true. I shall join you then.

Saito: Here’s a cup.

Hijikata: Thanks.

(Hijikata drinks)

Hijikata: Ah...

Saito: Vice-Commander!? Are you sure that’s okay…?

Hijikata: (sounds a bit drunk) Don’t fret about the small things! I don’t think you’ll drink up if I don’t start first anyway.

Saito: Then, vice-commander, I’ll down one too then.

Hijikata: Yeah. 

-------

(crickets + sound of something being poured)

Hijikata: But, I still can’t bring myself to believe it.

Saito: Believe…?

Hijikata: In the fact that I can walk alongside Kondou-san out in the open and still receive money from the others like that when it was previously unthinkable. Even though it was just a few years back when we were poor, broke and scavenging; barely able to make ends meet at the dojo. It’s almost like a dream come true…

Saito: I do not agree with that. I simply think that the two of you have finally managed to obtain what you deserved.

Hijikata: Well, it’s a fact that we’re now doing more jobs that pay us at a more reasonable price. Even the dream I had of making Kondou-san a daimyo might come true...Will you pour me another cup?

Saito:...Are you sure?

Hijikata: What? I told you didn’t I? A little bit of alcohol like this will never get me drunk!

Saito: Is that so...then…

(more pouring then drinking)

Hijikata: Ah.... In any case, we’ve still got a long way to go. They haven’t yet seen everything that we have to offer.

Saito: Is there some dissatisfaction you’d like to voice…?

Hijikata: No, it’s just that the idiots out there have been fooling around much more since we came here. Souji, that dumbass, was playing such a childish prank just the other day!

Saito: Souji did…?

Hijikata: Yeah, he took the book I was still in the midst of writing and rearranged my entire collection. I had to go back and rearrange all the tomes [pages] from scratch again, thanks to him. Hiding things while I’m working outside, replacing the fillings of my steamed buns with wasabi and messing around with the boats. He’s really been such a handful. It would be great if he put even a little of his love for pranks...no, if he put all of his love for fooling around into helping, the Shinsengumi prosper a little more!

Saito: I deeply apologize for his actions...I shall make sure to give him an earful from my end.

Hijikata: No, there’s no need. It’s not your fault at all. This is all on Souji! And Shinpachi, Harada and Heisuke...Those three only cause nothing but an abundance of noise and trouble when left on their own. If only they’d learn to quiet down a little and learn the right way to treat guests. Maybe they might even be able to knock a couple more strategies into those hard skulls of theirs if they learnt to sit still for a bit. They’d all whine and complain about me being a demon and whatnot if I so much as give them a little warning…

Saito: I understand where you’re coming from...I’ve also tried warning them about it since I’m of the same mind, but... as you can see…

Hijikata: That’s why I said that it’s not your fault at all, didn’t I? None of this is! And Kondou-san has his own thing going on too. He might explode on them one in a while, but he’s still way too soft on them! Haa...Well, it’s my job to clean up after them for Kondou-san’s sake as well, so it’s not like it’s anything new now, but…

(door slides open)

Kazama: I’ve heard everything.

Saito: You are-- Kazama!

Kazama: It’s been a long time, Shogunate dogs. I’ve made it a point to drop in once in a while to see what antics the humans have been putting themselves up to.

Hijikata: I never would have thought that I’d be seeing your face here, in a place like this.

Kazama: I was there watching things go down between the Satsuma and the Aizu, but as usual, such things are of no concern to me. I couldn’t care less about humans, but you, I cannot ignore.

Hijikata: No one’s asking you to join us. I’m just asking what you are here for.

Kazama: I just happened to overhear your conversation about the Shinsengumi. It seems like you’re not all a united front.

Hijikata: Heh. It’s quite a bit of work to make everyone work together and it’s not like we’re the only ones attempting to do it, despite the amount of hard work we have to put in to achieve it.

Kazama: You certainly have a point there.

Hijikata: Huh? What, you’re actually being surprisingly honest today. You’d normally snort and turn your head away, mocking us from that high horse of yours and spouting about how you’re greater than all of us down below.

Kazama: Hard Work; no matter what the cause or source is no different even if the subjects are Oni or Human.

Saito: I don’t know what to think of you calling yourself a vessel, but…

Hijikata: Oh? Doesn’t that mean that you’re one in the world of Oni as well? Have they lowered you into one? Although it’s hard for people like us to understand.

Kazama: Unlike you lot, I’m proud to be one and am willing to uphold the name of the Kazama family from whence I came-!

Hijikata: Yeah, yeah, alright, I get it!  

(sounds like Kazama sits. drinks are poured again) 

Hijikata:  Anyway, how about you drink up too? So? What happened?

(Kazama drinks)

Kazama: Hmm.... Nothing much. Although, there’s something about the Kazama’s family retainer, Amagiri...I do wish that he wouldn’t stand out so much.

Hijikata: What, does that Oni called Amagiri pull stuff off like our Souji?

Kazama: For better or for worse, he lives up to his name as a retainer. Although, he really should familiarise himself more with the Satsuma domain’s workings... He seems to lack awareness when it comes to my position. Fetching my bride back isn’t my only duty. He always seems to be lecturing me about the other things I have to attend to as the head of the Kazama family.

Saito: Isn’t that just the result of you digging your own grave? I’d have done the same too, if I were in Amagiri’s shoes.

Kazama: Silence! I absolutely detest those of a lower rank than me to be mouthing off towards me all so cheekily!

Hijikata: Saito... you should really watch what you say during times like this...or you’d carelessly be adding oil to the fire.

Saito: Roger.

Kazama: What are you whispering between yourselves about over there? Didn’t you want to hear what I had to say?

Hijikata: Yeah, yeah. We are listening. And then?

Kazama : It’s not just Amagiri; those Satsuma guys too… They seem to have mistaken me for their errand runner or something, calling me to them and then sending me off on one troublesome task after another.

Hijikata: I get where you’re coming from! We’re made to take care of the jobs nobody wishes to handle and all the delicious scraps go to you lot! 

(drinks poured again)

Hijikata: Uh, I seem to recall you having other subordinates, right…? That...guy with a gun? Shiranui…? What happened to him?

Kazama: Ah... He’s not one of us nor is he someone from the Kazama family. He just got involved in this and threw his lot in with the Choshu by his own free will.

Hijikata: Oh? He joined of his own free will only to end up in such bloodshed along with you and the Choshu? I suppose he picked the wrong place to belong to. I pity him.

Kazama: But he is a fellow Oni, so I’ve warned him countless times... I told him that he should have more pride and be more strict with himself when doing things in Takasugi’s name. I wonder where in the world his pride as an Oni has gone off and disappeared to!? Is what he feels that he owes from his relationship with Takasugi that important!?

Hijikata: Yeah, I get it. We have a good lot of people here who have no sense of who’s their higher up too. There are countless out there who expect us, Shinsengumi, to be cleaning up after them even though we’re on off duty on that day!

Kazama: Precisely! Oni will be Oni, no matter what the circumstances. It’s unfathomable to think otherwise! We cannot participate in conflict between humans. 

Hijikata: The new recruits all get scared shitless when they see the Special Corps... cowardly and unwilling to throw everything in the name of pride, where in the world has their Bushi spirit [spirit as warriors] gone!?

Kazama: Hmm...  I never would have thought that we’d ever be seeing eye-to-eye on something like this... Drink up, Hijikata.

(drinks are poured and Hijikata drinks again)

Hijikata: Thank you…

Saito: Vice-Commander? I don’t think you should be drinking any mo--

(sets down cup)

Hijikata:...Shuddup! Leave me be!

Saito: But-

Kazama: Enough. Just let him drink his share. I’ll forgive it.

Saito: No, just because you’re willing to overlook it-

Hijikata: I’m fine! ‘Sides, weren’t you the one who told me to drink!

(slams cup)

Saito: No, I only told you to act the part and not to actually drink more of-

(pours again)

Kazama: He, himself, is saying that he wishes to drink. Let a man live, won’t you?

Hijikata: That’s right, you heard him! I won’t go crying to you just because I’ve hit my limit.

Saito: But-!

Kazama: Saito, you aren’t yet one who has become as resilient as man as you should. There’s no way a true man will ever fall victim to as little alcohol as this.

Saito: No, that might be true for you Oni, but the Vice-Commander’s-!

(sound of HIjikata drinking)

Hijikata: Ah.... Saito! Have you not been listening to me at all!? It’s not like I can’t drink; I just don’t!

Saito: Then I suppose it’s fine... (whispers quietly) why am I being attacked by both of him and Kazama at the same time? How did it come to this...This is an unexpected turn of events! 

Kazama: Although this has come to the attention to the Yase, even if someone as powerful as myself steps in and attempts to extend a helping hand, those Oni are all unwilling to join me....! They all prattle on about how they’ll never submit to the likes of someone like me... If only they weren’t of higher standing than me, from the Kazama family... I would never allow people who’d dare disgrace me as such live!

Hijikata: Yeah, I understand! So many people have crossed me to the point where I could probably pour oil and light a whole hut of them up on fire. They’re all worthless people who can’t be saved at all... I suppose there’s no saving them, even if you wanted to. Ah, here! You should drink more too!

(drinks poured again)

Kazama: I will drink more, even if you don’t push me to.

(drinks)

Kazama: I do not plan to sit here and do nothing about how I’m being treated as lowly as this forever. I will not put up with this for much longer, just you watch…

Hijikata: Yeah, let’s show them! It’s...not like...we’ll accept being treated like this...for..ever…

(hijikata falls down and passes out)

Saito: Ah! Vice-Commander! Wake up, Vice-Commander! This is no good, it doesn’t seem like he’ll be waking up at all…

Kazama : Hm... How boring. Has he already reached his limit? It’s about time I return too. Would you tell Hijikata that this alcohol wasn’t all too bad for me when he wakes up?

Saito: Ah- Wait! 

(door slides opens and kazama leaves)

Saito: ...How irresponsible for him to leave the Vice-Commander in such a state and then make a hasty retreat on his own… But, the Vice-Commander seemed to be able to hold a proper conversation with him earlier...Is it because of the alcohol? Or is it that...I don’t want to think about it, but could they be similar to one another? No! There’s absolutely no way! I’m sure that was just a coincidence!

Hijikata: Mmngh... Just you...watch…! I’m...not going...to be put...down by something...as simple...as this…

-end-

[waywardwrestlewritingwaif]

Shelter (Part Five)

And here it is, the grand finale! Originally, this was actually a little longer but I finally decided that the last part I had in mind didn’t really add enough to the story to warrant including it. I think this ending is better. I also think the story is long enough as it is. I’m pretty happy at how quickly I was able to get this done, considering that I’ve been wrapped up in other (non-writing) things recently. I’m going to put it down to feeling inspired by seeing my delicious rat bastard in the G1. 

Pairing: Jay White x OFC

Word count: 3,841

Content advisory: Smut! Nothing too much beside that other than some significant angst

Alone in my damp little rooms, I did my best to hide the sounds of the sobs that overwhelmed me. I didn't want to give anyone, him most of all, the satisfaction of knowing that I'd been broken. 

It was true that my life had some worth: my father would not let me die a prisoner of another noble if only because it would make him look weak. But if what I'd heard from my sister's servants was true, then she had lied to me and brought me here as a pawn, a cover for her plot. She was the person I had loved most in my life and she had lied to me and put me in danger. Given that I had run away in the dead of night, I doubted my husband would want anything further to do with me. So if I were ransomed, I would live the rest of my life under the strict control of my family. My future lay either as a despised nuisance banished to a few rooms of the family home or as an embarrassment packed off to a convent. I had never known what it was like to feel truly alone until that night.

I felt rage building in me towards all of them- my parents, Elizabeth, her husband, their servants who refused to exonerate me, and most of all towards Jay White. Whatever intrigue had happened with him and my family, I had been blissfully unaware until I had crossed paths with him. I understood that he had only revealed the rot that was in my life but I could not stop from seeing him as the source of my problems. He must have done something to force my family to embark on such a reckless plan. Elizabeth only used me because she was desperate, I told myself. He was the monster. 

I tried not to think about the fact that he had been right about a plot against him, or about me being used as a distraction because my sister knew he had once had feelings for me. Most of all, I tried not to think about what had happened the night before, about the hours I had laid awake remembering his touches, the beauty of his body, and the passion he'd awakened in me. He'd done it to make it hurt that much more when he made me beg for the lives of the others. It had meant nothing to him and I fought to have it mean nothing to me.

Strangely, in the days that followed the departure of my companions, I was afforded a great deal more freedom. One of the guards accompanied me on walks around the grounds, allowing me to breathe fresh air for the first time in what felt like years. Millicent was practically my personal maid and I was allowed to explore certain areas of the castle. I particularly enjoyed being able to read through some of the beautiful books that Jay had commissioned from a nearby monastery, mostly works of philosophy. I took some pleasure in teaching Millicent to read so that she might enjoy the texts herself. After a couple of weeks, I was moved from the sad little corner of the palace in which I’d spent my time there to a proper set of rooms with a real fireplace, a real bed and a sitting room where I could take my meals. The door was still locked when I was not accompanied by a guard but I couldn’t deny that I was a great deal more comfortable. I hesitated to admit even to myself that the rooms were cleaner and in better condition than much of the home I shared with my husband. It was clear that Jay was better off, something that I hadn’t expected. I wondered if this was something that Elizabeth and the rest of my family realized since the old Earl had not been especially wealthy for one of his status.

I tried to avoid Jay as much as possible, seeking to avoid the feelings he stirred in me. I assured myself that the amelioration in my treatment was due only to the fact that I had become a commodity of some value. Like cattle or sheep, I was something he could sell to the right buyers and the right buyers were the people who I had always believed loved and treasured me. At first, I was successful, however the more I took advantage of my newly granted freedoms, the more I seemed to find my way to him. 

On one afternoon, while I was out walking under guard, enjoying the colours of the autumn landscape, we encountered him on the way back from inspecting his troops on the marches. A haughty demeanor flowed from him as he looked down on us from atop his horse that made me feel a burning in my chest and I refused to look at him. 

“How nice that you’re enjoying the air,” he declared, more to my guard than to me. “But be careful of this one. She’s not to be trusted.”

At that, my eyes snapped to his. I wanted to tear the arrogant bastard from his horse. Instead, I spit back at him, “A rich statement coming from you.”

He gave a cruel laugh and continued back towards the castle. My guard and I continued to walk in silence and the entire time, I felt the fire in me build at his casual remark. I struggled not to think of him but my mind continually returned to the look on his face, the obvious way in which he sought to provoke me. Even after I returned to my chambers I was seething and wanted nothing more than to confront him. When Millicent shyly entered, as she always did when she brought me dinner, I frightened her by rushing towards her just out of the frustration I felt at being cooped up. 

“Ma’am, I’m sorry,” she squeaked, curling her body away from me. She carried no trays as she usually did and she seemed extremely afraid of what I might do.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you like that. My mind is preoccupied and it was a nervous reaction, nothing more. You’ve done nothing to vex me or warrant abuse.”

“Thank you ma’am,” she stammered. “I’ve just been sent to tell you that the Master has requested you to have dinner with him, in his chambers.”

“Not in the dining hall?”

“Oh no, ma’am. That’s only used for great events. He always takes his meals alone, unless it’s a night when…”

“When he’s drinking with his friends and entertaining whores,” I huffed. The periodic decadent nights were something I’d certainly noticed, starting with my arrival. The presence of such women, the knowledge that Jay delighted in their company, made me angry beyond my capacity to express. I tried to convince myself that it was my revulsion that a noble of my stature could sink so low. However, I knew in my heart that it was jealousy, unbridled jealousy, that these women got to have him in a way I couldn’t. 

Millicent curled back into herself, blushing. “I’ve just been told to bring you to him, ma’am.”

My heart hurt seeing her like this and I reached forward, holding her cheek in my hand. “You are blameless, my sweet girl. You have made my time here more than just bearable. If I seem harsh, it is nothing to do with you. I only wish that, wherever I might go, that I could take you with me.”

She started to cry and I held her to me until she had recovered herself. I then allowed her to guide me to Jay’s apartments, where I was apparently to dine with him. 

His rooms were, of course, luxuriously appointed, but even more so than I might have imagined. Once again, I was struck by the display of wealth that, while not ostentatious, was more than I would have thought possible in his circumstances. 

The man himself sat at a round table with plates of cured meats and cheeses, along with decanters of wine. As soon as I entered, I felt his lupine eyes lock on me, and my breathing quickened. I took my seat opposite him, still shivering from the chill his stare induced in me, keeping my head turned towards the door even after we were left alone. 

He remained silent until I finally looked at him, shamed at how I cowered under his gaze.  

“Since when are you so quiet?” he gloated, taking a gulp of wine and pushing a full glass to me. 

“Since I understood that my life means nothing,” I snapped, grabbing the glass and emptying it in one gulp. “Since I became aware that I was a commodity like gold or cattle to be used as a commodity in your political games.”

“I suppose I should remind you that it was your choice that I should treat you as such.”

“It was not my choice,” I retorted, grabbing the wine and refilling my glass only to drain it once again. “I merely pointed out that you could use me according to how you already perceived me. You’ve made it clear that I am nothing to my family but a pawn they wish to retain. I have spent my whole life loving people who only wanted to use me in some political gain. I already know that my husband rhinos nothing of me and his family will have no interest in retrieving some fool who abandoned them for no reason. And as for you…” my eyes narrowed as I focused on him, “I am a trinket you can sell, nothing more.”

Once again, I grabbed the wine and poured myself a full glass that was quickly pushed down my throat. Jay and I glared at each other in a standoff until the butler arrived with our main course, a roast with vegetables and potatoes that made me weak with hunger. 

The manservant carved away a portion for both of us and while I fought to maintain eye contact with my gaoler, the moment the servants had retreated, I greedily tore into the meal, the best I had tasted in months. I was embarrassed to see that Jay observed me through his dark eyelashes, drinking his wine and taking judicious bites of his food while I behaved like a wild animal. He laughed at me a little, which was more than I could bear. I stood up, wiping my face with the serviette provided and took an uncertain step towards the door. 

“I want to return to my chambers now,” I stated, embarrassed at the hesitance in my own voice. 

Jay swallowed the contents of his glass and poured himself another, never moving his eyes from mine. “No you don’t.”

He advanced on me like a predator grasping hold of my wrists as I sought to shelter my face from him. I did not fear he would strike me but I knew that my eyes would tell him something very different than what I just said.  

“You don’t want to go anywhere. You want me to drag you into my bed and take you the way your husband should have on your wedding night. You want me to ruin you.”

Twisting my arms behind my back he once again captured my mouth with his and once again I felt a fire consuming me from within. Feeling me respond, he released my arms and I wound them around his neck without a thought, trailing my fingers through his dark hair. One of his hands slid up over the back of my head and he pulled me away from him, grabbing a fistful of my hair. 

“I only wish I could trust you,” he growled. 

“What does that matter? You keep me locked in my room all the time except when you want to use me for entertainment. I told you that I had nothing to do with the plotting against you but you won’t believe me. Once I threatened you and tried to escape because I understood nothing of your political intrigues. Since that time have I ever denied you anything you asked? Did I not beg you on my knees to spare my servants? And as far as...” My throat contracted, unwilling to speak more. 

“As far as what?” he whispered, drawing his lips up the length of my neck, smiling against the skin as I let my head fall back. “As far as this? Is this so repulsive to you?”

I twisted to face him, my breath trembling as I spoke. “You know it isn’t. You know I go to pieces every time you touch me. And so I ask you again, why is it that you think me unworthy of your trust?”

In one rush of movement, Jay gathered me up in his arms and carried me into his bedroom, tossing me down on his beautiful bed, plush with blankets and silk. I was a little frightened, unsure what I had actually asked for, but I felt my body aching to experience the pleasure he’d brought me that one night that seemed so long ago. I was almost as frightened when I saw his face, eyes consumed with lust, his expression ferocious. He pulled and tore at my clothing and I helped, struggling free even though I cringed at the idea of being fully naked before a man. 

Likewise, I tore away at his clothing until he wriggled free of all of it, my eyes hungrily taking in his body, so much like a beautiful sculpture and yet so much more beautiful because it was real. My breath caught as I ran my hand down his chest, feeling each carved muscle, down to the depression on the inside of his hips, stroking the base of his erect member. His whole body shivered and I withdrew the hand, wondering if I’d done something wrong. 

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” was all I could bring myself to say, my voice like the squeaking of a mouse. 

He gave a small but not unkind smile, shifting onto his side and running his fingers over my stomach to my exposed sex, sliding his fingers around the flesh that had become soaked. 

“You liked this when I did it before,” he rasped. “Have never done it yourself?”

I shook my head, unable to speak as he swirled his fingers along the bone and up to the sensitive little nub that had nearly driven me crazy before. He raised himself a little, alternating between stimulating that spot with his thumb and pressing his fingers into the opening, a little further inside with every touch, until he was brushing against some hidden spot inside me. 

My head fell back and my eyes closed, I was so lost in his touch. My reverie was broken by a sharp bite to my nipple and I came back to my senses to see him glaring at me with a frightening intensity. 

“Keep your eyes open. Look at me.”

He gave a sharp thrust of his fingers and my eyes fluttered shut once again, although I forced them back open a second later. “I don’t know if I can,” I pleaded. 

“You can and you will.”

Just as I had before, I felt something building in me, in my sex, in my stomach, and gradually filling my entire body. I dreaded the moment he was going to stop but he continued, increasing in speed and force until I could feel some invisible thing break inside me, flooding me with the most incredible pleasure I had ever experienced. Fighting to maintain the eye contact he demanded, I was moaning, crying out involuntarily, my breath ragged. I marveled at the look of excitement and pleasure on his face, wanting to kiss him but unsure if I was allowed. 

He slowed the pace of his movements and slid down so that his face rested between my legs. He gave me a little wink and pressed his lips to that aching bundle, licking at the juices pooled there and softly sucking. I felt wave after wave rolling over me, not as intense as the first but sweet nonetheless, until the space became so sensitive that I twisted and mewled in pain. He held me down and continued his ministrations, rougher than ever until I was almost in tears. Once he was satisfied, he licked his fingers clean once again and leaned over me, grabbing hold of my jaw and thrusting his mouth against mine. 

I resisted just a little, shocked at the taste, but relented when he squeezed my throat. As the kiss continued to build in passion, I felt him pressing against me, the tip pushing against the opening that felt swollen with what I’d already experienced.  

Pulling back, he grasped both my arms in one hand, easily pinning them above my head and he leaned down to whisper, “It hurts the first time for a woman. Is that what you want? Do you want me to hurt you?”

“”I want you,” I whimpered. “I don’t even know what it means but I know I want you.”

He guided my legs up so they were around his waist, showering kisses over my neck and chest. I felt his prick brushing against the folds of flesh, the head gently pressing inside. As he’d done with his fingers, he teased a little bit at a time and I wondered if that was how it was done, even though it didn’t feel quite right. Then he grasped my hips, fingers digging into the flesh so hard I could immediately feel the bruises forming. He forced my legs up a little higher and with one strong movement pushed himself all the way inside me.  

As he had warned, it did hurt, enough that I gave a little scream at his first thrust and continued whinnying as he pushed forward. Before long, however, he slowed his pace, his lips capturing mine and then sliding all the way down to my breasts. 

“Just try to relax,” he murmured into my skin. “Relax and it will feel better.”

Breathing in deep, I was able to let myself go just a little more and it did feel better. It continued to feel better and better as he stroked that magical spot inside me with unerring precision and I once again felt the tension building inside me, my core tightening around him as he pushed harder. 

His thumb traced gently along my jaw and as I looked at him I saw his expression untainted by suspicion or anger. 

“Again?” he breathed. 

“Yes. Please.”

And within seconds I was once again in ecstasy, that early pain forgotten, washed away in a tide of mewls and gasps. 

“God,” I panted, “does it feel that good for you?”

“It will. Don’t worry, you’ll know when it does.”

Feeling the increased urgency of his movements inside me, I held onto him as tightly as I could, determined that he should get as much pleasure as I had. Watching his face as he reached his climax, I felt giddy with the idea that I had done that. 

I pulled him close to me as we both caught our breath. The return to Earth, to the castle and the realities of our world was heavy, the looming darkness a crushing force. 

“How much have they offered you for me?” I rasped, once I was sufficiently recovered. 

He raised himself so that he could look me in the eyes. “A great deal. Your father has at least. Your husband has had nothing to say.”

“What if I refuse to go back,?” I asked flatly, shocked at how my mind seemed clearer than it had ever been. “What if I told you that I’d throw myself out of a window here rather than spend my life as an outcast or a nun?”

He eyed me, some of the suspicion returning. “You’d rather spend eternity in hell than your life in the care of your family?”

“Or I’d rather risk hell than leave here. Collect my father’s money and send me off if that’s what you want. It’ll end the same way.”

Once again, his eyes flared. “So I’m supposed to feel afraid of the guilt if I drove you to suicide?”

“I’m saying that while I have no reason to believe that I can trust you with my welfare, I’m willing to do so.”

“You’d be willing to be kept here as my mistress, knowing that I could grow bored and dispose of you at my will?”

“I would rather live here as your wife, since even the Pope would see fit to annul my marriage,” I said, mustering all the pride I could. “But in lieu of that, I would rather live here as one of your numerous conquests than to be returned to any part of my old life.”

His eyes softened a little, and suddenly I could see the young man I had known in my youth again. 

“I think you wanted to marry me once” I ventured. “Perhaps my family rejected the offer because it was not politically advantageous.”

He made no motion to confirm or deny my statement but the way his eyes turned bitter and prideful told me that I had come close to the truth. 

“My family doesn’t have that power now. I am asking that you consider any monetary offer you receive for me against this: I only want to be with you and I would rather die than be sent off to some miserable, lonely fate without you. You’ve already claimed what my husband should have. Anything else is entirely in your hands. And I trust you with that power.”

I felt his body tremble just a little before he spoke. “I want you to know that when I dispatched your companions, I ordered the men to convey Hannah to the safety of a town. Only the men were left on the road.”

“A fair solution,” I mused. 

“I won’t ever make you live in any kind of infamy,” he sighed, dropping his head to my chest. “The fact is that part of me doesn’t want to trust you because I don’t believe I could withstand being rejected again.”

“And you have to choose whether to let that part dictate your future or to believe me.” I took his face in my hands and forced him to look me in the eyes. 

“There is going to be a fight,” he murmured. “Your family is going to come for me.” 

“And they will lose because they underestimate you.”

His lips were on mine once again and I grew dizzy with the intensity of the kiss, my body constricting around him involuntarily. 

“Mine?” he hissed, burying his mouth against my neck and biting at the flesh. 

“Yours,” I sighed, feeling a sense of relief I had never known before. “Yours.”

[femmescripter]

Assurance of My Stay & Special Announcements

Hey there. I hope that y’all are doing well today. I don’t know how many of my friends and followers are still here after The Great Purge not long ago, but to the ones who do see this it’s good to see you! I hope we can talk some time. 

So I wanted to tell you guys some important things, and I won’t prolong it and will just get into it.

Ahem...

So first off - one of the reasons why I’ve been almost nonexistent here on Tumblr is because I’ve been busy with writing commissions and looking for steady work. The whole ban on risque content for Tumblr didn’t help either. Then we have the world wide pandemic of the C-Virus which really kicked things up from ten to ten thousand. And in between all of that I have been dealing with a...rough situation, to say the least of it, in my personal life that is still ongoing. I won’t go into the gory details but I’ll say that it’s the primary reason for looking for steady work in order to make enough money to get my own place. Having explained all of this I want you all to know I’m not trying to purposely keep away from you. Nor do I plan to leave Tumblr even with the ban. I just got important things to focus on. 

But I still love all of you and didn’t forgot you! It’s my end goal to finally get at least my work load done and be able to come back to Tumblr and try to enjoy the site once more. And if you’re all willing to accept me again that would make it even better. So yeah. This about covers the announcement that I am truly alive.

Now, onto some cheerful news I want to share with y’all. 

For the past two years I have been working on revising the plot, world setting and characters of my original light novel series. It’s been a long and grueling process but immensely fulfilling. And I think you’ll really enjoy this light novel series. At the moment I am currently working with @lucy-dont-give-a-fuck to make the character artwork for the main characters first and foremost. After that we’ll work on the other artwork needed for the pilot. And in between all of that I’ll be writing the story of said pilot. I can’t go into more detail than that but I will say that once things are done and sorted I’ll be posting a link to a crowdfunding page where you all can donate to support the project. It’s my goal to make the pilot both available in physical print and also put it up on Tapas for people to view it digitally in case you can’t come to the locations I’ll be selling it.  That’s cheerful news bit #1. Cheerful news bit #2 involves a fanfic remake and the mass editing of another fanfic. The fanfic that I’m going to remake is an old Tygra/Lion-O alternate universe fanfiction I made based on the 2011 Thundercats reboot series. Which, by the way, is criminally underrated and did not deserved to be cancelled on such a cliffhanger as it was. They should have focused on that instead of giving us the trash that is Thundercats Roar. Regardless - that’s the fanfic I plan to remake. Having grown as a writer I’ve developed a better plot for it and plan to delete the old version and replace it with a new one. I will post it exclusively to Archive Of Our Own and FanfictionNet. Now to go over the mass editing of a different story, Batman Beyond: The Heir. It really amazed me how many people liked that fic so much. And I’m ashamed of my for neglecting it like I have. Again this has to do with work and other major things that have gone on in my life that make updating stories difficult. But I plan to continue that story! Before that however I need to do a lot of editing with the current chapters and fix some mistakes, clear up loose ends, ect. So be sure to stay tuned for more Rex/Terry goodness! Additionally I will be likewise editing my Thief/Dishonored crossover story Business & Pleasure so that I can continue that as well. I also got a lot of new one-shots I plan to put out to keep you guys entertained in the meantime. I got other fanfics in the work as well. Also to anyone who still likes Voltron: The Legendary Defender and likes Lotor/Keith or James/Keith please do reach out to me! It’s so hard to find people who like either pairing as a genuine couple and not as hateful exes or with Lotor or James being a creepy stalker to Keith. And I got stories and headcanons planned for them, too. Lastly - I want to put out a notice that I’ll be editing and completely revamping some of my old Justice League: Gods & Monsters character biographies. I’ve recently found myself reconnecting with the franchise and after delving more into DC lore and media I came up with some new ideas. So expect changes on that end too. I will probably end up reblogging old character biographies I edit and making posts for new, revamped bios. And don’t worry. I’ll make bios for new characters, too! I can honestly say that I have evolved a great deal in my writing skills and have learned many new techniques to make my stories better for my audience, you lovely people, to enjoy! If you don’t want to stick around though I can understand that. I have been gone for a long time. But if you guys do want to see how much I’ve improved with my work then I’m happy to share in my journey with you.

Welp. That’s everything. I’m sorry that this was such a long read but I didn’t want to leave out anything. Also if you want to follow me on Twitter and Instagram just reach out to me and I’ll give you the handles for those profiles. Until next time - all of you please take care and remember to wash your hands! I love you guys very much.