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britesparc · 8 months

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Weekend Top Ten #620

Top Ten Challenge: Top Ten Action Movies 2023

Yet again I’m doing a list that’s looking back and talking about the year that’s been and gone. But wait! For this is the latest in my Film Challenges.

At the beginning of 2022 I decided to have a kind of annual challenge with myself, where I’d try to watch as many of a particular kind of film as possible. The idea behind this was to try to deepen my knowledge of film. For instance, I’ve not seen many Alfred Hitchcock films; only about three or four and some quite a while ago. So I want to be more knowledgeable, for a whole bunch of reasons. Anyway, in 2022 I picked Westerns as the first genre of film to tackle. And I don’t think I did very well, only managing to watch a piddly 17 of the buggers.

2023 was a lot better, but then I made life a lot easier for myself. Because while I was searching Netflix for Westerns the previous year, I kept bumping into action movies and thrillers that I quite fancied watching. So for 2023 I picked Action Movies as my genre of choice.

And last year I watched 62 of them. I don’t think that’s a bad number at all.

Now, when I’m doing these, I’m not necessarily looking for the best of the best; nor am I attempting to only watch new films (well, new-to-me). I’m just sort of trying to get as broad a range of films before my eyes as possible; to just see loads and loads of action movies. And, yes, there is some attempt to cover the classics. But this year, for instance, I didn’t go out of my way to rewatch The Matrix trilogy as I remembered them pretty well and didn’t have easy access to them (they’re not on streaming and my DVDs are boxed away somewhere). So this list isn’t categorical or my all-time favourites; there are definitely huge omissions simply because, well, I couldn’t see everything (although I really should have tried to watch The Matrix Resurrections, which I have on BD and I’ve never seen).

It was relatively easy to find action movies because between the various streamers available to me – Netflix, Prime Video, Disney+, Paramount+, ITVx, BBC iPlayer – and the Blu-rays I have in my front room, there are quite a lot of action movies. In fact, services like Disney and Paramount are really good for older films; I don’t mean, of course, films from the 1950s or whatever, but those eighties and nineties actioners that old duffers like me remember from their youth. Whether it’s stuff I definitely watched as an actual child – Beverly Hill’s Cop – or stuff that was just genuinely, unequivocally of the era – The Presidio – there is a wealth of vintage action available online (and, incidentally, the eighties and early nineties were great for those sorts of basically-a-thriller-with-some-great-action types of film).

No, where the difficulty came this year was in deciding where the line is drawn for what is and isn’t an action movie. I know that there’s a huge crossover with Westerns – most big, popular Westerns are also action movies, really – but where does an actioner end and a thriller begin? For instance, The Fugitive; that’s not really an action movie, is it? Despite it having at least one incredible stunt. I watched the first three Jack Ryan movies last year, but I haven’t counted them for the same reason; they just don’t feel like action films, despite having some good action. The Mission: Impossible franchise caused a similar headache, one where I came down on the side of “action”; because, really, those are spy films, aren’t they? Conspiracy thrillers. But you cannot disqualify a film series increasingly based on Tom Cruise’s ability to run across anything, jump off anything, and climb literally everything. Ditto the Indiana Jones films; it seems really weird to me to put them in the same category as Die Hard or Enter the Dragon or John Wick, but that’s another film series built around elaborate stunt work and chase sequences.

Oh, and I deliberately didn’t include any comic book movies, despite the Captain America films having at least as much action as your average Mission. This also stretched to my rewatch of the Ninja Turtles films. Which, I dunno, is that a bit daft? Especially the first one, actually made by filmmakers experienced in martial arts movies and with stuntmen in the costumes. But anyway, it wouldn’t have made the Top Ten, and nor would any other superhero film I saw last year (if I’d rewatched The Winter Soldier that might; it might be the most “straight” action film in the MCU).

So we have a list that maybe doesn’t include some things you might have included (Cop Land?) and also includes some that maybe you’d have considered not sufficiently action-y (The Warriors?). And, obviously, is lacking some all-time classics because I didn’t happen to watch them in 2023. But I do feel pretty good about this; I feel like I watched a lot of great movies and Taken. I feel I’ve got an even better appreciation for, and understanding of, action cinema. I didn’t see nearly as many foreign language films as I wanted, but I watched a few older Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee flicks, and that was really cool.

Oh, and I’ve limited myself to one film per franchise, so we don’t end up with all four John Wicks on the list.

And that’s all there is to it! Now let’s crack some skulls.

Die Hard (1988): I genuinely think this film is probably as perfectly structured as you could wish for. Every beat is planned out, we know the geography of the building stunningly well, it’s so tightly, tautly directed, it’s damn funny, and incredibly well-acted across the board. Everyone involved with this is right at the top of their game. Just every aspect is top-notch. I’ve gone on about it loads in the past, so I’ll just say this: it’s good.

Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981): very close behind. As an adventure spectacle and stunt-based romp, it’s unparalleled. It races along from set-piece to set-piece, all of them exquisitely directed, and our focus held not just by Ford being utterly iconic, but also Karen Allen as his romantic equal and foil, Marion. They hold the screen, our attention, and our emotion so the wild ride has heft and stakes. And it’s got a bit where Indy punches a Nazi.

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015): like Raiders, this is a near-perfect execution of stuntwork and action cinematography. One long chase scene, it’s frankly gobsmacking how perfectly composed it is. The flow of each scene, the composition of each frame, the lighting, the effects; it all combines to create this engine of propulsive action. Combined with the trippy apocalyptic story, wild fantastical villains, and a stellar star turn by Charlize Theron, and it’s a masterpiece.

RRR (2022): a very broad, bombastic, and melodramatic retelling of Indian legends that, frankly, I knew nothing about. The mismatched best friend dynamic adds drama and pathos to a stirring revolutionary epic; but it’s the combination of stunning stunt choreography, outrageous effects, and frankly fantastic musical numbers that creates something you need to see to believe.

Speed (1994): an exercise in sustained tension from Die Hard DOP-turned-director Jan de Bont, and the two films are great companion pieces. The slick brushed-steel look of Die Hard is retained, as is the sense of an ordinary man in an extraordinary situation. Because, like Die Hard, it’s the characters here that compel and sell the premise; and, like Die Hard, the action when it arrives is slick, explosive, and exhilarating. And there’s a bit where a bus jumps a gap in the road.

John Wick: Chapter 2 (2017): my favourite of the Wick movies, it takes the premise of the first film – retired super-assassin comes back into the game to exact revenge – and ups the ante, not just in terms of action, style, and stunning fight choreography, but in terms of the dense and fantastical lore of this world. Reeves channels all his cool, stoic charm into Wick, and the fight scenes are brutal and dynamic but also reveal loads about the characters taking part. The best new action franchise in, what, twenty or thirty years?

Mission: Impossible – Fallout (2018): the best Mission, just edging out the first film, which in its slower, more noir-y spy shenanigans, feels a touch out of step with the insane stunts that followed. Here we get everything firing on all cylinders as Christopher McQuarrie’s Switch-composition knits twists and turns together, threading a series of increasingly-audacious stunts and set-pieces through the middle. Cruise is never better, and we get the most out of Rebecca Ferguson’s Ilsa, and still have time for lots of cool planning-the-mission moments.

The Rock (1996): Michael Bay’s sepia-tinged, militaristic, OTT sensibilities have, I think, drifted out of style a wee bit, but I’m pleased to say his masterpiece here holds up perfectly. Maybe it’s the charm of Connery and Cage carrying us through the machismo with humour; they’re both supremely likeable as we move through an almost Die Hard-level of well-prepared baddies. The set-pieces are dramatic but fantastically exciting, from the crazy chase through San Francisco to “you’re the Rocket Man”. Daft but tremendous fun.

Beverly Hills Cop (1984): I guess another potentially-contentious entry, as it’s really more of a comedy than an action film; but this was the era of the comedy-actioner (Lethal Weapon, Tango and Cash, Big Trouble in Little China). And let’s not forget it was supposed to star Sylvester Stallone! Which is crazy, because this film is all Eddie Murphy; his charisma, his comedy, his – quite frankly – sexiness. But it’s still a compelling action movie, with some good set-pieces, stunts, and chases, and Murphy is totally credible as a tough action hero, too.

The Warriors (1979): just pipping Hard Boiled at the post (I had a long chat with myself) we have this incredibly tense and beautifully produced semi-fantastical action-thriller. A gang of, frankly, scummy criminals crosses a city, bedevilled by rival gangs of even scummier criminals; there’s something of sixties Batman or even A Clockwork Orange to the stylised droogs we meet, leading to some great set-piece battles, shocking deaths, and genuinely tender, empathetic moments of character. It’s lean and taut and utterly compelling.

I almost feel I should have put Hard Boiled up there because you could argue it’s a better action film than The Warriors. But it is what it is; let’s pretend they’re joint number ten.

Anyway this was an incredibly fun challenge this year, and I already miss it; I just find these sorts of films really, really easy to watch, and there were tons I didn’t get round to. Not just the biggies like the Matrix and Lethal Weapon movies; but I didn’t see a single Jean-Claude Van Damme film! I really wanted to see Sisu, which came out last year, but I missed it; and I was hoping it was my chance to finally watch Cobra, the movie Stallone made instead of Beverly Hill’s Cop. I’m almost tempted to revisit this whole genre. But there are a lot of other genres to cover, so I should probably move on.

In 2024 I’m going to be watching animated movies, which I’ve already decided includes performance-capture films like Tintin, although I’ve yet to come to a decision on live-action/animation hybrids like Roger Rabbit. As for how well I’ll do? I’m never going to top the sixty-odd action films I saw last year. Put it this way, by this point in January 2023 I’d already watched three action movies; so far, I’ve not seen a single animated film, unless you count Tabby McTat.

#top ten #action movies #film challenge 2023 #movies #films #die hard #john wick #mission impossible

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fluffy-lee-boa · 3 years

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late night posts from bae

@smiley-lee hey so i finished up that request for some lee!sunnydrop for ya >:3

i went a little silly and wacky with it, and i might just make it into a series~! you’ll see why once you read it! could be seen as romantic x reader or platonic, very sweet either way.

i hope you like it!

A SUNNY FIRST DAY (A FNAF TICKLE FIC)

Starting a new job was never exactly a pleasant experience. There’s the first-day jitters, the confusing paperwork, and after all that, there’s the awkward introductions you have to endure at staff meetings.

And here at the Pizzaplex, where you had unwillingly taken up a job as an engineer, you also would have to introduce yourself to the giant animatronic animals that free-roamed the property at all times of the day.

You’d been warned countless times that this job might be dangerous. Conspiracy theorists on the internet posted video and video nagging at your deepest fears. But these things weren’t really killers, were they? They probably couldn’t even think for themselves. They were programs.

The steel, shell of a body they inhabited just happened to be prime for feats of strength and stamina. That’s all. Why would anyone build a children’s attraction like this if it weren’t a hundred percent safe?

Well, either way, there‘s no backing out now.

You stand before the security guard, who you assume they must leave in charge at night as it was now only the two of you left after everyone else finished their shifts, waiting for whatever instructions you were to be handed.

Vanessa was her name, wasn’t it? You’d remember that. In case you’d need to scream it from another room while being brutally attacked by a killing machine.

“L/N.”

You jerk back to reality, shaking off the grim images and the looming sense of nervousness.

“Since it’s your first day, I think we should start you on one of the easier animatronics. I’m sure you’ve heard the rumors- Some of the guys here can get a little weird at night. Snappy. But as long as we keep the lights on, I’m thinking starting you on the daycare attendant would be easy enough.”

Snappy? What’s that supposed to mean?

You nod anyways, slinging your bag of tools over your shoulder and checking your watch. It’s Fazbear themed, like everything else around here, and thankfully held maps of the winding hallways you were meant to navigate.

“Is he… in need of any certain repairs?”

“You could say that. The nap time protocol has been having some issues. But tonight I just want you to focus on checking internal wires and such. At least that’s what corporate said. They mentioned they would be sending out a patch of some sort to fix the bigger problems.”

Cool, you think. That couldn’t be too difficult.

“Now go, you need to get back before the end of the hour. Just call me on your watch if you need me. And if you hear anything suspicious, make a log of it. Just so corporate has a paper trail.”

Paper trail for what? God, does everything here have to be so cryptic?

You didn’t complain, though, instead speaking up with a short, “Sure thing.”

And with that, you head off into the thick of it.

The place was weird. Obviously. At the same time as it felt far too dark for your liking, there were still blinding neon lights on every surface. And none of them helped with navigating the maze-like structure. No signs, no guides. At least you have your watch.

After a moment of walking down endless halls, the decor starts to shift. Less bears, and more of this sun type character. As well as a moon. Considering how many posters litter the walls of their presence, you assume they must be the daycare attendant(s?).

You approach the entrance, your security pass getting you through with no issue. For a moment you considered taking the slide down, but that would probably result in a headache considering the size of it. It was built for toddlers, after all.

When you enter the large open room, the first thing you notice is the change in atmosphere. There are soft lights on the ceiling, and a simulated sky with fluffy cloud shapes across the length of the room. It was clear this was made for younger children, and you felt instant relief, as it was less harsh on the eyes compared to the rest of the pizzaplex.

You’ve barely stepped inside before a booming voice fills your ears.

“Oh WOW! Who might you be?!”

You turn on a dime, and from the nearest play structure you spot what you could only describe as a jester approaching you rather quickly. It has a face plate unlike any of the glamrocks- an unmoving sun shape, with solid white eyes. It looks pretty detailed, and you can tell the inner mechanics must have been pretty complex for it to move the way it currently was.

“Uh…. Y/N. The new mechanic. I’m here to give you a check up. I just started working here- are you the daycare attendant?” You ask hesitantly, not even sure if it would understand you, or if it was simply giving an automated call and response speech.

“Mechanic! That’s fun- are you gonna teach me a new trick? Update my sensors? Ooh! Maybe we can make me PINK!”

Ah. So it certainly knew what you were saying. So did that mean it was familiar with the idea of mechanics? Or perhaps these animatronics are far more sentient than you initially thought.

“Oh, I’m not here for anything big. Just to make sure you’re ready to open again tomorrow morning. You know, checking that everything’s in place and you aren’t getting rusty. Is that ok-?”

“Sure! Here, let me take your bag!” They scoop up the tools from your arms and skip off to what looks like a security station. You have no choice but to follow, though you do pick up a foam block by the edge of the play mat since you realize it would be pretty difficult to reach him considering his height.

Once he made it to the table, he hopped up much like a child getting a real check up. His legs kick back and forth as you step up, making him seem almost giddy, or restless. For a fleeting moment, you honestly think of it as cute. Especially with the way his head sways back and forth to the tune currently coming from the speakers above you.

“Thanks. Er, this won’t take long. I just have to make sure everything is in place I guess. They didn’t give me much of a checklist.” You reassure them, placing the block next to him so you could climb up to be level with his chest.

“Could you lift your head please? Oh, and retract these spikes, if you can. They look retractable, I mean, and it would be easier to reach under without them.”

“Of course!!”

Their head spins a few times, to your surprise, before the sun rays disappear into their form. Then you reach under the face plate ever so gently, feeling around for loose wires or anything that feels out of the ordinary.

You swear that you hear the attendant give a soft gasp, and you immediately pull away, worried something was wrong, “Shoot, did I hurt you-? Can you even… get hurt?”

They hesitate for once, a nervous laugh escaping them as they explain softly, “I’m ok! Please don’t worry- I- I just- it felt itchy.”

“Itchy? That’s probably not good. I bet you have some kind of built-in nervous system. That’s smart, but you might feel a little weird when I’m rummaging around in your endo. Sorry.” You say sheepishly, not liking the way he seemed to clam up.

He didn’t speak again, so you take it as a sign to keep going. You peer at the exposed wires across his back, up to where they disappear back under his shell. You gently trace along the shirt piece, pulling a wire by the front that seems to be out of place so you could check that there was no fraying.

This time, it seems much less like a gasp, and much more like a laugh.

You have to take a moment to compose your thoughts, before the realization hits you like a truck.

The animatronic is ticklish.

“Holy sh-“

“H-Hey there! We don’t talk like that in the dAYCARE-!” they whine preciously, and you can’t suppress the smirk on your face as you meticulously work the wire back into place just to make him stutter.

“I don’t think you’re in any position to tell me what to do.” You decide to take a chance as your hands stray down to his sides, right above the skirt-like fabric, and you gently scratch at the plating.

A sharp yelp emanated throughout the large room as he jerks upright, before bursting into a melodic yet pitchy laugh. Oh, that’s just not fair.

You laugh with them, not letting up in the slightest as his legs kick at the table, “This can’t be happening. You’re just too cute!”

A whirring noise picks up nearby, and you quickly register that it must be the fans by their core processor. In a way attendant had started actually blushing.

You decide to be more playful with the whole check up- since he looks much more happy now that things weren’t so clinical- and speak nonchalantly, “You know, I might have accidentally found a better way to do this… if I just tickle away at all your vulnerable spots I can figure out if everything’s in working order!”

He whines, before breaking back into giggles as you move up to gently scritch away at his stomach. By now you have abandoned standing in favor of kneeling on the surface of the desk behind him.

“Eehehee- N-New friend! Plehehease!”

“Please what? Please keep going because you’re so freaking adorable?” You ask, now rubbing lightly at his hips which makes him squeak. It sounds an awful lot like a mouse.

“Wow, you’re ticklish everywhere, huh? Maybeeee- here?” You switch to his upper back, where a human’s shoulder blades would be, and he wheezes.

“Jackpot! Now how about h-“

“NAHAHA-“

You startle when they suddenly jolt, and you realize that your hands have started to drift to where his wires were exposed under his arms.

“Ohhhh! So this is to warn you if any kid starts poking around in your systems, huh? That’s cool! And better for me!” You seem genuinely curious about his design, which only serves to fluster him even more.

“WAHAIT WAIT-!”

You decide to oblige and slow your tickles to a single finger on each hand, gently tracing swirls along his sides and back, “Hm? Wait?”

He’s still giggling as he slowly regains his ability to speak coherently, and he turns his head all the way around to look at you, which at any other time you would have found unnerving, “T- T- Tihickles!!! Tickles! Ihihit ticklessss-“

You snicker at how difficult it was for him to say the word, finally letting up, booping him on the nose, “That’s what I was going for, sunshine! Glad you get it!”

The fans picks up significantly by the sound of it, and you quickly become concerned as you scoot over to sit beside them again, “Gosh, you’re heating up pretty bad, aren’t you? Here, why don’t I just be verrrry gentle for a bit-“

You carefully take one of his hands in your own, using your other to trace the lines on his palm. Even the small action makes him burst back into bubbly laughter, though he doesn’t pull away. His legs go back to kicking excitedly, even as his arm twitches.

Finally, you stumble upon the obvious conclusion that he’s enjoying this far more than you thought. How sweet.

“Hm…” you hum, “How’s this then?”

He gives another whine, a glitchy effect coming over it, “I-It’sssss- It’s-“

You giggle and come to a stop again, raising an eyebrow, “-So gentle it is…? Because I’m going to have to give you another check up soon enough, and I think this is the perfect method~”

He freezes and gives a strangled “I- I-!”

Though before he can force restart, you jump at him, scribbling away under his arms as one last attack just to really throw him off, “I did say a bit, didn't I~?”

You don’t notice your watch ticking down to the last minute of the hour amidst their endearing hysterics, as you’re too focused on the way they keep their arms up for you despite the endless squirming. Your heart’s practically bursting.

Then, of course, the lights go out, and Sun powers down.

You gasp sharply, thinking you must have pushed him too far or broke him somehow. Though the glow of your watch catches your attention, which now displays the late time, as well as a concerned text from Vanessa.

Oops.

Well! No big deal. You assumed by Vanessa’s explanation earlier that this meant all of the animatronics went on low power mode for a bit to charge the ports. You would wait it out, then head back after finishing up with giggles over here.

So you tap on the messaging button to inform your superior that you’d be a little behind, not paying enough attention to your surroundings to realize that Sun was…. Gone.

A much more sinister laugh echoed around you, and when you look up, all that’s visible is the attendant, now in a completely different form.

A moon.

And this moon looks like it wants revenge.

#tickle fic #sfw tickling community #lee!sunnydrop #ticklish sunnydrop #fnaf tickles #ler!reader

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nightswithkookmin · 3 years

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Hi Goldy.

I PURPLE 💜 your blog so much. I was reading every single post like the little ALT shipper that I am. Fell in love with BTS and jikook 🐰🐥 after one video.

Anyway I’m here to ask. Have you seen the VLIVE from eight days ago when BTS won the artist award at the AMA? They sip champagne and eat pizza and cake, when the WiFi goes down and Namjoon shades them big time and then Jim comes in to save the day ‘we love our company very much’ and which Jhope goes ‘you said that very suddenly’. NJ hugs Jin and he says NJ, Jhope and him love the company loads / the most.

Jim in asks what about us? To which NJ replies ‘you can love them less’ and everyone looks confused 💀💀💀And Jungkook suddenly understands and shakes hands with NJ.

They look at the staff behind the screen (Jin in particular).

What in the conspiracy does it mean!?!

If you have an idea 💡 would love to hear. I genuinely can’t imagine lol I’m so new to what they’re hinting.

Saranghae 🥰

AS YOU SHOULD SIS, I ROCK 💜

If I say so my self

Lol.

I don't know if conspiracy is what I'd call it. Much like a shade gone wrong. An ironical situation exacerbated by the Joonie touch😫

Namjoon has a quirky sense of humor that often flies over people's heads and make things unintentionally and unnecessarily awkward most times😭😭😭

For instance, he just called himself a perv on national television which has sparked debates and threads about him watching too much porn or stigmatizing the BDSM community describing Masochists as Pervs.

Didn't see that one coming did ya🤣

While i got the porn/BDSM references off the bat i didn't make anything of his statement. Actually thought it was funny but here we are reporting and blocking user perky nipples in a harness.

In my opinion, when Jin says he loves the company it's funny and ironic because he has a reputation for giving the company grief hence Tae's reaction and let's not act like they didn't lowkey roast the company in there for five seconds. Lol.

Had vlive not been for hybe they would have dragged it for filth in that moment 🤣🤣💀

I love when they get messy and start throwing gang signs around 🙃

RM joining in with a subtext threw every one for a loop with their confused looks on their faces. Lol. Lost me there for a second too not gonna lie. But he does that a lot, in Run episodes, Seasons greetings with that whole JK is the leader of the Males and females comments- knocked the amusement right out of JK's eyes😭

Should have left it at 'Males'😭

NAMJOOONAH KIM NAMJOONNNNN!!!!! lol

His sense of humor is....

I don't know Hobi to be the rebel type- other than instances when he'd said he almost left the company. I think he is rather a model tanny. But Joonie can be a bit rebellious almost as rebellious as Jk or lowkey insubordinate like Jin but because he is a leader that gets mitigated most times💀

Ngl, I take Jin seriously when he throw shade💀 He's sneaky like that.

Suga checked out of the conversation and didn't participate in whatever the joke was- alright lemme cut the bull. The BTS x Hybe kumbaya agenda is as kumbaya as my two cheeks behind me. They try though. In my opinion.

The boys will throw shade like they are not throwing shade but they are throwing shade. FREE HYBE🤣🤣🤣🤣

I think what RM was implying was they finna simp and kiss the company's ass while the others can be more objective or subjective or not so blindly subservient to the company.

I think you should ask the Korean bloggers for their thoughts on it to reflect the nuances of that conversation as I don't speak or understand Korean.

Given as it was the poor streaming service and the app unable to handle that large number, I take it they would have segued into roasting the company for providing such poor services- but since it's their own company then it's like they can't do that so they powered down. But they didn't expect the others to power down too if you know what I mean.

Much like 'we love and respect the company so much we won't criticize them- but y'all feel free to tear them apart" kinda vibe.

It also felt like an inside joke or something. It felt as if Jin was shading some of the members or hinting at a possible friction between the company and some members- if it was shade to the members my money will be on JM, Suga💀

JM because he actually has 'reasonssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss' to love the company less- from the blatant disrespect not informing him his song which he produced was on a movie as huge as Marvel eternal. For him to have found out the way he did was just bad and reflects poorly on the company.

Like we know they don't own the right to their songs but STILL. You don't gotta make it obvious damn. Like did you not seek his permission first when Marvel called to ask permission to use the song? Sus.

Did y'all not give him a cut of the fee paid upfront whats up?! Jimin, my guy...

And if they really allegedly put him in Prestige class on that flight unwillingly whew them finna catch an ass whooping in the backyard at noon if I lay eyes on em🤺

I can let squeezing him out of Eternals slide, killing his flex on the gram- now that's where I draw the line!

They can't come embarrass me and my bias out here like that! Like what's that!

Bling bling on our wrist, gucci in our hair, first class is where we at.

And they shouldn't think we don't know Jimin don't have his own studio at hybe yet

Or may be he do. Don't know don't care. But I need him in the studio with a view of the pool and Jungkook glistening naked ass with a tray and a glass of Soju at his beck and call. His titties better sparkle.

Didn't even give him voice training when he needed it and constantly made him live in anxiety and fear of losing his Job.

PJMS DON'T FORGET

I'm telling jesus when i get to heaven.

The day BTS leave Hybe they will smell real chili peper from all of us🌶

Also that drastic change to his body is sus as hell given as the company tends to have body requirements of boys- it's a bit sus that JM will suddenly change his body "concept" out of the blue within a short while talking about all the health benefits when it's like but sir didn't you know all that before now??

And I love how, I talked about this way before it all happened- about him trying to build his muscles back, him lifting weights- he denied all that with that whole "I'm not trying to buff up" "I'm not doing crazy exercises" to now saying he works out with his boyfriend and actually lift weights💀

Seriously though, I think they love the company but won't miss a chance to shade the nonexistent edges off their Heads. To be fair to the company, they do be roasting themselves more than any artist I've seen on this planet so it's nothing personal💀

Jin... Jin is Jin.

It's all the times he's posted BangPD cooking for them or reiterated how amazing their company is whenever the company comes under fire for mistreating their artists for me🤣🤣🤣🤣

Also... Jungkook don't got it🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

He just likes to pretend he do.

Unless there's something I'm missing I don't think it was sus but I enjoyed talking about it hehehehe.

💜💜💜💜💜💜😊

GOLDY

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jjkyaoi · 4 years

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i’m surprised there’s not more ghost hunter!sbi au’s or just general paranormal!sbi au’s. anyway, take this.

(yes this is because i’ve been watching buzzfeed unsolved again recently, what about it)

wilbur’s the one with the main youtube channel, and before they started really doing paranormal shit it was mostly,,...,,, like his actual channel? just him doing dumb shit w/ his friends— yes he does play minecraft in this au. don’t ask me how he went from minecraft from hunting ghosts, it is something that none of us know.

techno’s the one who actually came up w/ the idea, because in the family he’s always been the one who’s been most obsessed w/ paranormal things, for a skeptic. he’s always constantly wanting to push the limits of things people aren’t sure actually exists— he always wants to see how fast he can die when he fucks w/ things that are potentially dangerous, so he’s a dumbass, and he brought up the idea of ghosthunting to wilbur, who’s also a dumbass & always accepts dumb ideas and plays them out, so of course he says yes.

the first ever paranormal video they did was a livestream! it was basically just wilbur and techno exploring this old abandoned house in their neighborhood that had rumors of paranormal experiences, and trying (and failing) to find ghosts. it was mostly just them fucking around; just techno calling out and taunting the air, daring it do something, and wilbur laughing nervously and telling him to “shut the fuck up” most of the time, but then eventually he’d get roped in and then it’d just end in w/ these dumbass twins just taunting the open air. ,,,,it didn’t go successfully. they didn’t find anything worth while, and they’d thought that’d be the end of it— that’d be the last paranormal video they’d ever make, but it turned out that their viewers really liked the concept & their general dynamic—the majority of them just liked techno, but shh—so they were like; “ykw,,,,why not. turn this into a thing” & then they did.

none of them are professionals. they’re sort of just taking the paranormal places they’d hear about at face-value and going there just to,,, scream and yell at open air?? eventually they do get more ‘professional’ and actually get the correct equipment and they do end up finding actual ghosts, but at first it’s laughable. take the whole ‘ghost hunters’ thing with fucking gallons of salt

before the paranormal videos started coming out, wilbur only ever really told stories about his family to the viewers— wilbur’s fans hadn’t met the sleepy boi’s yet, so these entire series is just wilbur’s fans getting to know ‘em, basically. ,,,,techno is a fan-favorite

at first it’s just wilbur and techno doing the ghost hunting, and the fandom had gotten used to those two and their general,,, shenanigans?? but for awhile, there was this conspiracy about who was the camera guy, in their videos? there were these theory videos, circling phil’s blurry image holding the camera in mirrors that they passed by in the places they went, “#CameraManConspiracy” was trending for like,,,. so long until wilbur and techno made a whole video revealing it and just went “oh yeah btw this is phil; he’s our dad and he records the videos so we don’t like. burn the places we go to down or somethin’”. everyone on the internet lost their fucking minds . phil actually showing up in one of their videos and talking was a pretty big demand for awhile until it actually happened, and ever since then he’s been known as dadza; the man who brings the camera and the common sense. (half the time, though, he’s just egging his son’s mischief on, but shh he’s the common sense).

tommy didn’t join their little group until like way, way later? in the paranormal videos he was just spoken about by phil, techno, and wilbur? he was more just an afterthought— just mentioned like ‘oh i bet tommy would hate this’ or ‘should i bring this home and show it to tommy?’ and everyone on the internet was like; ‘who the fuck is tommy’. he was one of the family members who’s arrival was like,,, really dragged out? the sleepy boi’s kept teasing him coming on, kept saying ‘well, he’ll come on eventually, when he wants to, be patient’ and for like months he did not ever show up, and the fandom theorized that tommy wasn’t even fucking real for a decent amount of time until, finally, he showed up.

it was a Q&A video, actually, where he showed up— their first and their last. they’d gotten a question about tommy—well, they’d gotten millions, but they just answered one—and they did this whole dramatic pause, looking solemn and saying ‘yeah, you got us, tommy isn’t real —’ and then tommy immediately burst into the room, screaming at the top of his lungs, and ran at the camera. that’s where the video ended. on twitter for days there were blurry screenshots of tommy’s form and the hashtag “#HE’SREAL???” was number 3 for days. he’s been apart of their group ever since

out of all of ‘em, techno’s the one who’s constantly at the forefront of taunting the ghosts. amongst the fandom, he’s known as the one who isn’t human, because of the fact the motherfucker always does shit that would kill the regular person, but he always comes out unscathed— half of the fandom thinks he’s possessed. he’s either taunting the ghosts or pranking tommy just to scare the shit out of him—who, always falls for it, despite how much he denies it—either that or he’s just in the background making jokes— motherfucker never takes it seriously.

wilbur’s the one who tries to take it seriously, but because he’s w/ these fools it always backfires on him. he’s always the one who’s asking the ghosts questions abt their personal life or doing theories about how they could’ve died, but in the end he’s always roped into some stupid shenanigans by his brothers and then just ends up taunting the ghosts. he’s known as the fandom’s conspiracy theorist— also, no one fucking knows if he actually believes in the ghosts or not??? man just makes theories. he’s more of the common sense than fucking phil is sometimes

phil is the camera man, as he’s established, but as well as wilbur he’s the one who communicates w/ the ghosts more often, and by that i mean the motherfucker is a ghost magnet. when the activity by techno and wilbur is always stagnant, on phil’s camera’s there’s always orbs caught by him, there’s always voices heard whispering by him— the ghosts seem to like him. half the time he’s just laughing behind the camera, but also the other time he’s trying to converse w/ the ghosts; he’s the only one who actually gets ‘em to speak and he’s never phased by any of it.

tommy is the one who’s the most scared out of all of ‘em, of course. motherfucker is always yelling, regardless if there’s something going on or not. he’s the type that thinks his increase in volume hides the fact that he’s scared, and he’s always challenging the ghosts to a duel or yelling ‘IM NOT SCARED’ only to piss his pants a second later. either that, or he’s wandering off ‘cause he got bored— there’s been more scenarios than the sleepy boi’s would like where they’ve lost tommy in the places they visit to. and, he ends up scaring himself even more when he gets lost. he’s also always the target for wilbur and techno’s pranks because he’s just that easy w/ paranormal shit

tubbo is also a pretty reoccurring character in the paranormal videos, but he doesn’t ever stay. he was first introduced by tommy, of course, coming onto the video as the ‘family friend’ (which is deadass just a roundabout way of saying he’s the unofficially adopted kid), and whenever he’s on their videos he’s also one of the most scared ones, but simultaneously,,, man constantly tries to talk to the ghosts? he gets scared by a too sudden sound or gets freaked out by the ghost stories, but a second later he’s in the corner fucking talking to,,, thin air? man’s known as the cryptid of the group. he constantly makes friends w/ the ghosts but it just looks like he’s talking to himself. (,,,, perhaps.,,,, tubbo can see,,,,, a little bit more of the paranormal world than we can? but that’s just spoilers)

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inaflashimagine · 4 years

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HQ Boys Talking to Girls (part 2)

Characters: Kageyama, Asahi, Akaashi, Iwaizumi, Oikawa, Kenma, Semi, and Suna

A/N: A simple discord convo about Kags talking to a volleyball led to me and my bestie writing headcanons for all these characters. The lovely @deathcab4daddy and I worked on this together so be sure to check out her post featuring more characters!

Kageyama Tobio

His teammates hold an intervention because they’re worried for him and he has no idea why.

“Kageyama,” Suga starts, voice delicate, “why have you been talking to the volleyballs recently?”

He blinks, sipping his milk as if nothing’s wrong. “Don’t all guys do that?”

No, they don’t, Tobio, because when boys have a crush they just go and talk to them instead of pretending that their volleyball is a girl.

Not to mention he says the weirdest things to the ball - like “How’s the weather?” or “The vending machine ran out of milk today.”

If he even manages to talk to a girl, he would probably be super flustered that Hinata has to translate his bumbling speech.

Azumane Asahi

Doesn’t talk to girls, either he can’t or Noya scares them all away.

Or Asahi unintentionally scares them away.

Sorry Asahi stans this is just the truth.

They’re missing out, though, because he’s just a giant teddy bear. :(

Akaashi Keij

This guy is too busy writing down Bokuto’s weakness to actively flirt or talk to girls.

But if he has a crush on you he becomes so shy. It’s not until you’re paired up with him for a school project that he might open up more.

Especially if you like books. He has the best book recommendations and might even lend you a few of his favorites.

Borrowing his book is definitely the best option because he has things underlined or he wrote things in the margins that make the books 10000x better.

He definitely speaks more through his actions than his words.

Like I’m serious please don’t text him he can be the driest texter.

You can send him a hilarious meme and he’ll just say, “Lol.”

He’s also corrected Bokuto’s punctuation before so don't think he won’t do it to you.

Iwaizumi Hajime

Knowing that this dude collected bugs when he was younger is probably a clue that he is not a ladies man.

Would probably be the type that’d wiggle said bugs in front of you just to annoy or scare you.

If he’s crushing on someone he shows his affection by constant teasing to the point that you’re convinced he hates you.

If he manages to score a date, you can bet the first date is some athletic competition instead of eating at a restaurant or watching a movie.

Oikawa has tried giving him so many tips and it just all goes over his head.

Oikawa Tooru

Not that Oikawa would provide much help, anyway. He may have a million fangirls, but all he does is live and breathe volleyball.

I don’t think girls even exist to him aside from paying attention to him.

If he’s not talking about volleyball, he has this weird fixation with aliens and loves talking about conspiracy theories which is just,,, Tooru no.

And if he’s not talking about volleyball or aliens then he’s talking about Iwa being mean to him.

This is why the average life-span of his relationships is 72 hours.

Kozume Kenma

Are you a girl in a video game??? Or else he’s not talking to you.

This man has enough on his plate so if he is interested in someone they’re likely a gamer, too.

But if you do get to talk to him he’s definitely one of the sweetest guys. But it’ll take a while to get him feeling comfortable around you.

Semi Eita

Semi doesn’t talk to girls. Girls talk to Semi.

Especially after a concert, when fans just flock to him as if he’s some guitar god maybe because he is

Being in a band that’s somewhat popular, he’s definitely charismatic. He talks to people all the time and his image is important, so he could hold a conversation with literally anyone.

So if you somehow manage to pique his interest then he’ll be sure to prove to you that you mean something to him, always making time for you, updating you on what he’s doing, and maybe even showing you sneak peaks of new songs.

Would definitely give you private guitar lessons (ndvjfbljksbdkjlbdjn)

And if you’re lucky he might even sing to you.

Suna Rintaro

This man lives and breathes sarcasm.

Will only talk to girls who can keep up with his wit and retorts.

And if you make fun of the Miyas then he’s definitely talking to you so you can plan pranks together.

The type to airdrop you memes during the worst times, especially during a lecture. It’s his life’s mission to get you in trouble - he is such a little shit.

Honestly his love language is just sending memes 25/8 (how romantic)

Will also send you many pictures and videos of the twins fighting.

He’s just super fun to talk/text to, honestly.

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #kageyama x reader #asahi x reader #akaashi x reader #iwaizumi x reader #oikawa x reader #kenma x reader #semi x reader #suna x reader

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thegreatestofheck · 4 years

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Heck’s Masterlist

OBX Masterlist

Since some of my fics are getting long, here’s a masterlist of everything I’ve made so far in relation to Outer Banks! It will continually be updated as more fics, blurbs, and requests are added!

Also, my requests are open! I don’t generally do smut, but I’m open to mostly anything else!

JJ Maybank

Requests:

Jump - You are John B’s sister and you’ve been following him around your whole life. After deciding to make your own path, you find yourself caught up with a boy who is no good and JJ is the only one who can get you out of it.

Wedding Dress - JJ makes a promise to himself that he’s now not sure he can keep.

Run - You’re John B’s sister and after sending him off on the Phantom, it’s up to you to cover for him. But Ward Cameron is still your legal guardian and he comes to collect his property.

Ransom - John B’s sister is taken by the square groupers. In exchange for her life, they ask for the compass and a heavy ransom price. It’s a race of time as the Pogues, with the help of Sheriff Peterkin, journey into the marsh to save her life before the clock runs out.

Not So Unrequited - in the middle of an argument with your best friend, he says something to you that you had never wanted to hear.

i love you - your relationship with JJ had always been rocky, built on a mutual desire for affection. that doesn’t mean he would never break your heart.

fill the void - she always felt alone, so when he needed her most, she couldn’t resist.

promises, promises - You and JJ have an unspoken thing, passed only though stolen glances and half serious flirting. But the day after he takes the fall for Pope, you find yourself standing at a crossroads; do you step in to protect him from his dad, or do you stay out of it?

Series:

Ocean and Alcohol - (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, Epilogue, Rafe’s POV) You’re a kook, but your life is less than ideal. After a fight with some of the other kooks, you let slip a little about your home life to one JJ Maybank, who is more than intrigued. (reader insert with a name, tw: abuse, canon content)

Tempest and Gin - (1, 2) The gold is gone, but Elma’s problems are just beginning. With her dad in police custody and her mom once again AWOL and refusing to pay for legal council, Elma and Ms. Lana struggle to get through the trial with a court appointed lawyer. At the end of her rope, Elma finds herself juggling friends, family, rivals, and enemies as she struggles to keep her wits about her and do the one thing she’s always done; protect Kid.

Girl With No Heartbeat - (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8) After a near death experience, JJ is saved by a girl in the water. When he and the Pogues find her washed ashore the next day, they are more than surprised to discover that she isn’t your everyday girl. (mermaid/siren au, canon divergence)

Imagines:

Sweet as Honey, Hard as Steel - JJ’s girlfriend is the complete opposite of everything one would expect. A straight A student with big life goals, Elena has never been the drinking, smoking, fighting type. And JJ wouldn’t have it any other way.

Coward - Your mom just passed and your absentee father has come to collect you. But that means leaving the life you knew and loved, including your best friend (and a little more), JJ Maybank. But he isn’t ready to hear what you have to say on your last night together.

Rafe Cameron

Series:

Fire and Storm - Rafe Cameron had always wanted her. He wanted to be hers and he wanted her to be his. But she wasn’t and he was slowly beginning to realize that he never would be. (this is Rafe’s POV for a bit of another series, Ocean and Alcohol)

Requests:

Better - Secretly dating Rafe as JJ Maybank’s sister isn’t the easiest thing, especially when your brother finally learns the truth.

Imagines:

Meant to Be Yours - Rafe Cameron, your boyfriend, was more broken than you realized. He wants more from you than you can give. (based on the song “Meant to Be Yours” from Heathers the Musical)

John B

Imagines:

Girl Crush - You spent years yearning after John B, your best friend. You just didn’t realize it until he fell in love with the most beautiful girl on the island...and it wasn’t you. After that, only Sarah Cameron was on your mind. (based on the song “Girl Crush”)

Tethered - (routledge!reader, John B’s little sister) Surfing the surge was a Pogue rite of passage. You had been waiting for the next big storm to show your older brother that you were ready to be one of them. But the storm was stronger than you or your brother could have imagined.

Just Come Home - (routledge!reader, John B’s little sister) You come home one day to find your brother bearing harsh news.

Series:

By Dawn - (1, 2, 3) John B meets a mysterious girl at his court ordered group therapy. After spending weeks trying to get to know her, he slowly realizes that she’s a tough nut to crack. But then one day, she leaves him a cryptic message...the night before she goes missing. With the disappearance of his father still so raw in his mind, John B refuses to lose anyone else. And he will stop at nothing until he finds her.

Sarah Cameron

Imagines:

Kie Carrera

Imagines:

For Forever - When you’re parents find out that you’ve been secretly dating your best friend, Kie, they go off on you. Afterward, she comforts you, reminding you that blood doesn’t mean family. (tw: homophobia, found family to the max)

she - As a Pogue, having a crush on Kie Carrera was almost a prerequisite. You knew that all the boys were crushing on her, at least a little bit, but accepting your own feelings for her is a different matter. (reader has a crush on Kie but isn’t really ready to admit her feelings)

Requests:

Nothing More - You’re secretly dating one of the Pogues and your brother is starting to become suspicious. The only problem; he’s fixated on the wrong friend.

Pope Heyward

Imagines:

Nothing to Prove - Pope helps you with some relationship problems. Later, while hanging out with your boyfriend, you realize that running from your fears got you nowhere and the only place you wanted to be was with Pope. (very soft)

Delivery Boy - With an absent mother and a distant father, you’ve always felt alone living in your empty house. But a certain delivery boy might be the one thing that makes running an estate worth it.

Seires:

Bare Bones - (Preview, Theory 1, Theory 2, Theory 3) Pippa Cantu has always been a little…strange. With a knack for knowing everything there is to know about every conspiracy, every mystery, and every weird happening, she doesn’t have much time (or desire) for friends. But when her chemistry lab partner asks her to join him and his friends on a hunt for the Royal Merchant, she just can’t say no.

Kelce

Series:

Simple Melancholy - (2) Jemma “Little J” Maybank finds herself a little over her head when she accidentally falls for a boy from Figure Eight. Between her overly protective brother and Kelce’s incredibly rude friends, neither of them are sure how they’re going to make it, but they’re determined to.

General (Everybody)

Imagines:

Do Not Stand - One of the Pogues passes away and leaves a message for her friends. Each of them take it in a different way.

Series:

Little Village - (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, Finale) As the oldest of the Pogues and John B’s big sister, June always acted as their mother. She helped with assignments and studying, helped pay bills when it was needed, made dinner, reminded them about hygiene. But then she got pregnant and her boyfriend left and suddenly she found herself unable to do all those things she was once able to. When they say it takes a village, she wasn’t entirely sure they meant a bunch of teenagers. (post-canon, I haven’t decided who the love interest will be or if there will be one at all, so that’s why its here)

Requests:

Homeward Bound - After spending years abroad at a boarding school, Kie’s sister returns to the Outer Banks. The Pogues quickly realize that, despite her cold exterior, there is a free spirit inside her just longing to break free.

A Bunch of Love Stories Masterlist - A series of fics based on Taylor Swift’s album “Fearless”.

Outerbanks Playlist - This is just a list of songs that remind of the Pogues and other characters in the show. A few of the songs are connected to some of my fics as well!

ATLA Masterlist

Zuko

The Sun, The Moon, and the Stars - She is a non-bender from the Southern Water Tribe who somehow found herself smack in the middle of Fire Nation central, where a young prince is fighting an internal battle she hopes to help him win.

Harry Potter Masterlist

Fred Weasley

warm - you and your husband survive the second wizarding war, but so do some of Voldemort’s old followers, and they are hell bent on revenge.

Severus Snape

The Other Her - Severus Snape had two friends while he was at school. One, every body knew as Lily Evans. The other was you, an unknown student who wanted nothing more than to be noticed by your friend. You couldn’t help but compare yourself to the Gryffindor heartthrob every time he mentioned her name.

Only One - You return to Hogwarts years later to watch your son’s Quidditch match, only to find yourself a little bit in over your head.

Criminal Minds Masterlist

Derek Morgan

breathe again - he saved her life and now she has to deal with the aftermath. he’s there to help her every step of the way.

Aaron Hotchner

dark of the night - an agent gets taken in the middle of an investigation. in a race against time, the team at the bau must find her by diving into her deepest secrets. when a video tape arrives with horrible images of the state of their friends, aaron hotchner realizes just how terrified he is of losing her.

The Musketeers (BBC) Masterlist

Porthos

enough for you - the wife of a musketeer reflects on her relationship with her husband while Porthos watches from the sidelines.

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ineedsleepleavemealone · 4 years

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Some random headcannons

(I ship erasermic so some of these relate to that)

I guess this also needs a warning: some more mature things if you squint hard enough

Also the ships in this are: erasermic, kiribaku, tododeku, and a tiny tiny bit of momojiro (sorry if I forgot one)

~ Mic is actually kinda sad and breaks down alot when hes alone because of the stress he goes through, aizawa is the only one he will break down infront of ~ ~ Aizawa secretly loves giving mic piggyback rides. Change. My. Mind. ~ ~ Bakugo is nicest and softest when he is sleepy, and more open with his feelings when he is tired (especially to kiri, I ship them too😭✋) ~ ~ When sero cooks or cleans he will put on spanish music and dance to it. ~ ~ Dabi is kinky™️ ~ ~ Dabi will tease e v e r y o n e ~ ~ Dabi makes up stories of how he got burnt, like: Twice: so- uh how did all this go down * gesturing to scars * Dabi: oh, while sneezing Twice: but how does tha- Dabi: *sneezes and uses his fire* Twice: oH- ~ ~ When 1-a all become pro heroes, deku will wear everyone's merch ~

~ When bakugo is working out, when he does push ups he will get kirishima to lay on him for "additional weight" (we see you bakugo👀👀) ~ ~ Shoto can make snowflakes with his quirk. I. Rest. My. Case. ~ ~ shoto likes dancing in the rain or snow, well not dance just like being with deku ~ ~ Shoto will make little things out of ice and give them to deku (all might figures👀👀) ~ ~ Occasionally in the dorms everyone in 1-a has a movie night ~ ~ Ojiros tail wags when hes happy ~ ~ This is cannon because I've seen the official art, but I hc that bakugo likes animals and animals love him cause he smells like caramel and his hands are warm ~ ~ One word for aoyama. S e l f i e s ~

~ Shoto didnt know how to ride a bike so when they all moved into the dorms 1-a taught him ~ ~ When bakugo walks into the dorms common area he says stuff like "it smells like bitch in here" and "ughhh if I stay in here to long the bitchyness might affect me" ~ ~ All the girls in 1-a: sleepovers™️ but every time mineta will try to get in lmao. It. Never. Works. ~ ~ Shotos birthday present to everyone is endeavors credit card number😂he will also go clothes shopping with all the girls just because he can use endeavors credit card ~ ~ Tokoyami is actually really good at drawing and loves writing poetry ~ ~ Bakugo is the oldest in 1-a which is cannon. I feel like he would be the type to brag that he's the oldest and would use it as an excuse to do what he wants ~ ~ The dekusquad and bakusquad have groupchats ~ ~ Bakusquad play video games together and eat pizza together all the time ~ ~ The dekusquad gc consists of iida talking about homework, positive memes, and todoroki not understanding anything happening on there ~ ~ Jirou has a music playlist for every situation. Every. Situation. ~ ~ The best jeanist said bakugo couldn't learn how to style hair so katsuki "I am the best at everything" bakugo learnt how to do hair and now all the girls and kirishima go to him and make him do their hair ~ ~ Kirishima needs his hair dyed red when his roots start showing, so bakugo dyes it for him ~ ~ 1-a loves playing games like truth and dare and never have I ever when they cant sleep or are just bored ~ ~ Bakugo sleeps at 8. pm which is cannon, but still wants to be the best at whatever they are doing, so he still goes if they are playing or watching something but always. Always. Falls asleep, and he falls asleep on kiri. ~ ~ Aizawa is actually really flexible and can jump around and move literally like a cat. ~ ~ Mic: finger guns™️ and I can imagine this Mic: *does finger guns at aizawa* Aizawa: pull the trigger. ~ ~ Everyone goes into bakugos room for advice. Like jirou would go in there at 3am and just be like : yo so I'm lesbian and momo is lesbian and she said she likes me but I'm not sure if she likes me.

And even though bakugo will literally shout at them for being in his room at 3am they will still get advice😂~ ~ Kirishima is named after a mountain. Bakugos favourite activity is mountain climbing. Its cannon and ik it is I just thought I'd say that ~ ~ Shinso definitely uses his voice changer for memes. He would say things like "I'm katsuki bakugo and I'm a little bitch" with bakugos voice and "im aizawa and Im in love with a cockatoo" with aizawas voice. ~ ~ When denki is nervous random sparks of electricity come from his hands. ~ ~ If denki doesnt know how to do something he will search it up on wiki how. Change. My. Fucking. Mind. ~ ~ Shiggy genuinly doesnt know what moisturizer is ~ ~ Mic is amazing at playing any instrument ~ ~ Mic knows sign language and is fluent in alot of languages ~ ~ After toga stabs someone she mumbles things like "ughhh what a mood" "damn that one snatched my weave" and "we stan a queen" and once held up the knife like a beauty guru ~ ~ The girls constantly try to get uraraka to float m*neta into the sun ~ (yes I censored his name💀💀) ~ Tokoyami has good music taste ~ ~ The bakusquad (kaminari) tries to teach all might vine references ~ ~ Shoto l o v e s conspiracy videos ~ ~ Ojiro can purr ~ ~ Mina shares her clothes with everyone ~ ~ Shoto likes to watch the sun rise ~ ~ Omgggg I love this one. Aizawa listens to Mics radioshow when he grades papers and when he cant he will hum the music to himself ~ ~ Kaminari is memes™️ ~ ~ When mic says todorokis name he says it like the target vine (next competitor is- T T T T T T T T T TODOROKI SHOTOOOOOO *makes air horn noises*) ~ ~ The UA staff have prank wars (especially mic and literally anyone. Once poured pink cat shaped glitter on aizawa and it was 100% worth it) ~ Mic can harmonize with himself. Periodt. ~ ~ Tetsutetsu and shinso spend so much time at the 1-a dorms that one time bakugo cooked food for them too. ~

~ On that note, bakugo is obviously an amazing cook and when hes cooking for himself he will "accidentally make too much so you extras can have it" ~ ~ Shoto is literally turtlenecks™️ ~ ~ Mic literally has the worst sleep schedule like how is this man alive???? ~ ~ At night iida will run around the dorms saying goodnight to everyone and checking that they are all still in the dorms because he feels it’s his responsibility to look after everyone ~ ~ Shigirakis favourite thing to do is to just stand in the rain. He finds the rain soothing and calming to him because it’s one of the only things that he can’t destroy so it gives him peace of mind that he still human and isn’t the completely destructive monster everyone claims him to be. ~

Hope you liked them✌✌

#tododeku #erasermic #kiribaku #momojirou #shiggy #mha #bnha #bnha headcanons #lowkey love this #Mydogjustbarkedanditscaredme #iliveforaizawaomg #present mic #aizawa #katsuki #Wantedtodomoretagsbutdontwanttoannoyyou

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dappercritter · 3 years

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Godzilla vs Kong: Brutally Honest Thoughts

(Took me long enough, eh? Depending on home video releases be like that.)

So first things first, I have a confession to make: I spoiled the movie before I watched it. I was impatient and they had only announced an HBO Max premiere in the states and a theatrical run in Canada at the time. Afterward, I got heads-up from a friend and immersed myself in the opinions of those lucky enough to see it early. I’m just saying that I have some preconceived opinions that I’m sticking to.

That said, Godzilla vs Kong turned out to be more fun than I expected! But you already knew that. Everyone did. The two kings of movie monsters had their rematch and this time it was with glorious Hollywood SFX powering it this time.

The human story was fun but it’s clear they stopped trying at this point. Team Kong stole my heart, especially Jia. Team Godzilla (although the Conspiracy Crew would be a more fitting term since they spend more time chasing down mysteries than trying to back or understand Godzilla) was more fun than I expected and their dynamic was surprisingly enjoyable. Bernie is actually kind of funny, it's nice to see Madison acting more assertive, and Josh was fine--he was the only sane man of the bunch but he was also the butt of the jokes. Still, all the hardcore conspiracy jokes got old fast and it feels off seeing the daughter of two scientists turn into an edgy conspiracy crackpot. Why not an edgy science major?

Team Apex are fun villains, especially Walter Simmons who's a great megalomaniacal CEO type, but Ren Serizawa is a joke. I like his actor's performance but he's just another footnote. Nobody bats an eye at his last name, although the only heroes he interacts with are Nathan Lind and he just misses Team Godzilla. He really could have just been any other villain, but instead, they had to sully Serizawa’s legacy further while robbing a good actor of some interesting material. (As is, it turns out he was just an egotistical jerk with daddy issues--an easy puzzle to solve on day one--after all...)

However, I still cannot and will not approve of the fact that somebody thought it would be a good idea to make the heroes of a sci-fi story into hardcore conspiracy theorists in this day and age. Likewise, I’m not a huge fan of how they essentially made the Hollow Earth into its own universe complete with a crazy portal and an environment with its own laws of physics, nor am I totally crazy about the huge leap in technology that was made between this and KOTM, or G’14 for that matter.

The monsters as awesome as they are, are the biggest mixed bag in the show.

Kong is at his best in ages, and while I am all for the new heroic warrior character that Legendary have crafted and I acknowledge that making him a worthy opponent for their god-tier Godzilla was going to be a hurdle, I think they did a splendid job. Seeing Kong using agility and acrobatics was a glorious sight to behold, and something about Kong becoming a tool-user and weapon wielder just feels right. It’s a far better demonstration of Kong as a “thinking animal” (*wink, wink*).

I’m much less thrilled about their treatment of his greatest opponent ever. After everything they’ve done to build up Godzilla as the incredible force of neutral good fighting to maintain balance and all the build up to ancient rivalry debating back to a great Titan war--even going as far as putting his name in front Kong’s this time!-- they’ve reduced Godzilla back to glorified bully for Kong. He only gets the minimum amount of sympathy from the cast of his movie before they go off to deal with the conspiracy plot or focus on Kong and the Hollow Earth. Worse still, he is somehow more powerful and more aggressive than ever for a good chunk of the movie which leads to an outcome I’m sorry to say we all saw coming. Somehow, I suspect that the reason behind this was how Wingard cited Godzilla vs. Mothra, vs. Destoryah, and Shin-Godzilla as influences for the monsters scale and story, which while cool and all, are all movies where he was played up as a mostly stoic antagonist rather than a three-dimensional character like Kong. (Though ironically vs. Destoroyah and Shin did a better job of making Godzilla feel more sympathetic and in both of them he was a walking nuclear reactor meltdown.)

Due to the unfortunate time constraints of the three-way deal between Toho, WB, and Universal at the time this was in production, Kong was unable to secure a proper sequel that could develop his skillset like Godzilla’s did. Nevermind the fact the filmmakers completely surrendered to the “nothing matters but the monsters” mentality that a chunk of the fanbase has been spouting since this universe unofficially kicked off almost 10 years ago. (Sidenote: Oh god, I’m turning in an old fart already.) As a result, the movie trips over itself trying to set up Godzilla and Kong’s rivalry as well as building up Kong as a worthy opponent to Godzilla while expanding on their shared lore, and as a result countless plot points set up in in the previous movie and tie-in movie are thrown out the window. I’m sorry to say but in spite of all hopes and illusions of grandeur, it’s safe to this damn thing is a Kong movie with Godzilla as the bad guy.

...at least until HE shows up. Yup, Mechagodzilla. The biggest spoiled twist of the centuries steals the show so the movie can pull a Dawn of Justice. But! It does it much better than the fractured DCEU’s most controversial entry ever could. Mechagodzilla’s inclusion gets a decent amount of build up thanks to Team Godzilla/the Conspiracy Crew, and when he shows up, does he make an impression! At first, I wasn’t sure how to feel about his inclusion or his design, but I’ve come to like this one. He’s basically a kaiju terminator built in Godzilla’s image made purely out of heavy machinery piloted by the best Ghidorah head. It’s a jarring change of pace compared to previous MechaG’s but it grows on you after a while. With the abundance of weaponry stuffed into him, he feels like a fitting update of the original killing machine, and even if his inclusion feels like an easy way out of the big showdown, it’s fun to see him played as a literal colossal heel for the kings to team up against. Not to mention he looks shockingly good with those red highlights. However, one still can’t help but wonder how and why he was made in this universe, or how he feels like pure heavy machinery one minute and then an extra-large Ultron unit the next.

As for the the big throwdowns we’ve all been waiting for... well, we’re still in the mixed bag deparment. While the fights are all exciting and excellently choreographed, and benefit from some more eclectic lighting and cinematograph, I’m sorry to say that as far as the rematch of the century goes they dropped the ball on this one.

Don’t get me wrong, the fights are all great in their own ways, but there’s a drastic change in the feeling of weight and power with the monsters. Godzilla, Kong, and even Mechagodzilla all feel strangely floaty in most of their fights. One moments they feel like true behemoths shaking the very earth with every movement and then it’s like they’re in Godzilla Unleashed, running, jumping, and throwing each other around with speed that feels that almost makes you wonder if the Hollow Earth’s gravity inversion stuff is leaking out into the world. While it’s all perfectly cool, you can’t help but wonder how Kong is able to leap between aircraft carriers and buildings, when Godzilla got the ability to blow a hole through the Earth itself, or how a colossal machine is able to move so nimbly or why it has to be flashing blue all the time.

It’s fascinating and fun but you just can’t help but wonder how we got from almost posthuman disaster and war movies exploring how we’re at the mercy of the ancient almost mythical forces beyond our comprehension, we’ve found ourselves smack dab in the middle of Bayformers meets Jurassic World levels of Hollywood absurdity where anything and everything can and will happen in the name of getting to the monster fights. Although I can’t say I’m surprised given the director’s take on Death Note made some questionable choices with it’s take on the infamous cast while still coming up with some genuinely inspired choices. Still, all things considered we could have gotten worse compared to ther cinematic universes made by WB and Universal.

As for some misc. thoughts to close up this rambling mess:

-The soundtrack is fantastic. A great continuation of the feel of Skull Island’s mixtape with some truly wonderful picks. Special mention goes to the opening and ending songs, and they GOT AN ELVIS PRESLEY SONG IN HERE! YES!!! The three kings of pop culture together at last!

-While this movie didn’t need to be any more overstuffed, it would have been nice if the rest of the Titans didn’t disappear entirely from this movie. I get that Godzilla: Dominion already explained what happened to them all more or less, but it really is a missed oppurtunity that we never got to see another Titan war. Or Rodan attacking Kong to avenge his pterosaur bretheren from days long past. Speaking of which...

-“Save Mothra” jokes be damned, Mothra would have been a welcome gues star, not just to help break up the big fight, but to show off Godzilla’s softer, more protective side. And yes, I want more Mothzilla. Shut up, we deserve it.

-Boy, Monarch sure does a whole lot of nothing up-top, huh?

-The cinematography is a great update but there’s a little too much neon lighting, especially in the Apex HQ and the Hollow Earth throne room. It feels like they’re trying just a little too hard to sell the more futuristic, Hollywood sci-fi feel.

-The score is... great but not that great. Of course, I’ve always had mixed feelings about Tom Holkenburg (AKA Junkie XL)’s music. I liked Kong’s themes, but they REALLY dropped the ball with Godzilla’s theme. Mechagodzilla’s works really well as long you ignore that it’s just Godzilla’s theme in this movie with an ominious choir added in.

-The new Hollow Earth creatures are all perfectly fine. Actually, I thought they were another highlight! Especially the Warbats, Hellhawks, and Doug the Titanus Foetodon Man.

-I want to do a release the extended cut campaign but I don’t think any of us have the energy for that s**t anymore.

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lady-divine-writes · 3 years

Text

ACITW AU one-shot - “Draining Pipes” (Rated M)

Summary: After Sebastian is accidentally exposed to Covid, Kurt convinces him to quarantine. While the rest of the city is slowly opening up, Kurt is returning to a life that resembles normal. But for Sebastian, home alone without his boyfriend, isolation is changing him. And Kurt has some concerns... (2063 words)

Notes: Yes, this is a pandemic fic, but I promise, it's funny XD

Read on AO3.

"Hi, honey! I'm home!"

"Nope. Try again."

Kurt's head snaps up so quickly he stutters a step, nearly tripping over his feet even though he'd already stopped walking. He glares at Sebastian from across the room as if the man had gotten up from his seat, strolled over, and, without a word, vomited rancid sushi all over his Manolo Blahniks. "What?"

In a tone reminiscent of one his NYADA dance teacher, Cassie July, used that made Kurt prickle from head to toe, Sebastian says, "Try. again."

"Try what again?"

"Walking through the door."

Kurt spins around to examine the doorway, searching for clues about what he could have possibly done incorrectly. "And what, pray tell, is wrong with the way I walk through the door!?"

"Every time you come home, you say, 'Hi, honey! I'm home!'"

"Yeah, and... ?"

"It's boring. Unoriginal. It harkens back to an era of television situation comedy that had no hand in influencing our generation and, frankly, regurgitating it is beneath you and your dramatic talents."

Kurt plants his hands on his hips and gawks. What the hell happened to his boyfriend while he was away? He was only gone four hours! "Have you been rifling through my old schoolbooks again? I told you, there was no Illuminati conspiracy going on at NYADA!"

"Why don't you try something different?" Sebastian counters, neither confirming nor denying Kurt's accusation. "Something a bit more, dare I say, exotic?"

"Exotic?" Kurt scrunches his nose with distaste when he says it. Of all the words in the English language, that's one of his least favorite. "What constitutes exotic in your twisted opinion?"

"I don't know. Think of something. You're the creative, not me."

"What? I... " A dozen arguments about how he's just gotten home, how exhausted he is, how travel between here and the theater was a pain in the ass because some people still don't seem to understand what 'over the mouth AND nose' means so navigating his way through the subway was like playing a game of human Tetris with potentially infected pieces and that he's never been all that good at Tetris anyway! die on his lips.

It would be a waste of breath.

Still, Kurt doesn't know why he indulges him, but he turns on his heel and walks back out the door. After a few seconds of deep breathing in the hall to keep from screaming bloody murder, he storms back in and brightly declares, "Buenos dias, motherfucker! Como what's up?"

Seeing as the two of them speak fluent French, Spanglish is the most exotic thing he could come up with.

Sebastian nods in stoic approval. "Better. How goes life on the apocalyptic landscape?"

"I'm not selling my body for Cocoa Krispies if that's what you're asking," Kurt quips, wondering if this is how Sebastian acts at work and how no one has put the man through a window yet, partner or not.

"So what I'm hearing is you didn't bring home Cocoa Krispies."

"Nope. Sorry."

"Bitch."

"Yeah, well... " Kurt removes his shoes and socks, then sheds his coat, his messenger bag, his slacks, and his dress shirt, carefully piling them on a chair by the front door - their staging area for decontamination. While he undresses, he eyes Sebastian, not paying him an inch of mind, sitting on what has been dubbed the convalescence corner of the sofa, dressed in a soft white tee and flannel lounge pants, his laptop open on legs covered by a quilt his mother made for him when he was ten. Sebastian knows for a fact that Kurt is undressing and yet he's not leering at him, wolf-whistling under his breath or licking his lips like he's watching an Outback Steakhouse commercial. He's simply sitting in his spot, eyes glued to his laptop screen.

And Kurt loathes it.

Sebastian's attentions have been waning more and more lately, and even though it's savagely bruising Kurt's ego, he can't blame him.

Depending on how they choose to look at things, this situation could kind of, slightly, sort of be deemed Kurt's fault.

"Thank you again for doing this," Kurt says, extending an olive branch. He's been doing this so often over the past few months, he's started buying in bulk. "I can't tell you how much you keeping your distance and staying home has put my mind at ease."

Sebastian doesn't look at him when he replies: "No sweat, babe."

"I know it was just one small cough... and the kid was wearing two masks... and a face shield... "

"Hey, like you said, no need taking any chances. Right?"

"Right," Kurt agrees. And he believes it. He believed it then and he believes it now. Had the roles been reversed, Kurt would make the sacrifice, more than willing to lock himself away for the sake of curbing this disease and keeping Sebastian healthy.

But it isn't him.

And he feels like dirt going to work three days a week, returning to something that resembles normal knowing what Sebastian is missing out on.

"It's his mother's fault for not mentioning that her little plague rat has covid before I got stuck on the elevator with them," Sebastian says, possibly trying to make Kurt feel better even though his gaze hasn't shifted.

"But quarantining for six days longer than necessary? That's above and beyond! I mean it. You deserve a medal."

Sebastian tosses him a wink over his shoulder but he doesn't linger, giving half-naked Kurt only a brief once over. "I got you, fam. Besides, time's up tomorrow. Then... " He thousand-yard stares in the direction of the flat screen "... it's rat-hunting season."

"It hasn't been all bad, has it?" Kurt asks guiltily as Sebastian's eyes return to his laptop. He'll admit that maybe he did go a tad overboard when he'd found out Sebastian had been exposed, banishing him to one end of the penthouse and the guest bedroom, keeping him at broom handle length for the past nineteen days.

But they were almost in the clear! And that's the part that pisses Kurt off most.

The disease hasn't been eradicated, but there was a light at the end of the tunnel. The theater started allowing small groups to return for socially distanced practices. That's a huge win for Kurt. Being away from Broadway and rehearsals and opening nights and curtain calls... it was becoming difficult for him to breathe.

Sebastian was on the brink of going back to the office a few days a week, too. It wasn't so much not being at the office that bothered him, but the peripherals - eating lunch at his favorite deli or hitting the gym before dinner.

Sebastian had taken three tests after that fateful elevator incident, all of which came back negative, so he was confident everything would be alright. He was in the midst of planning his first in-person meeting, but Kurt balked, pointing out that there has been so much controversy over the accuracy of those tests. Sebastian offered to take three more if necessary, but regardless of the outcome, Kurt didn't feel it safe. And even though they had access to the vaccine (because money), being exposed, even minorly, pushed Sebastian's timetable for receiving his first dose back two weeks.

Kurt's father and stepmother have both received theirs, and Kurt was so looking forward to taking a trip to Ohio for a first hug in over a year. He's going to be damned if a four-foot-tall Petri dish ruins that for him!

But because of his paranoia, Kurt and Sebastian haven't touched, haven't kissed in two weeks. They tried the whole Skype sex thing from different rooms of the penthouse, aiming to recapture old college day thrills to boot, but it didn't work out the way they'd hoped. And even though they see each other every day, talk to one another, aggravate each other, throw popcorn and other food items at each other, Kurt misses Sebastian like the dickens. He misses his hugs, his warmth, his smell.

And yes, he misses the sex.

"Since I've been back to work, you've had the peace and privacy to watch those wacky pornos that your brother sends you."

"Yup," Sebastian says, typing something into his search bar that Kurt can't quite make out. "The wackiest."

"Didn't he say something about them being illegal in the contiguous 49 states?"

"Forty-eight. Tennessee turned itself around."

"It would be Tennessee."

"Always is."

"You probably haven't given your fleshjack a rest in two weeks," Kurt prods, worried over these short responses.

"Mmph... mmm-hmm... "

Kurt starts circling the sofa when all he gets is a chuckle in response, curious if Sebastian is even listening to him. He comes up behind him, standing on a piece of painter's tape they'd put down to mark six feet so Kurt can peek over his shoulder.

And what he sees on Sebastian's screen makes absolutely no sense.

"What are you watching?"

"Drain clearing videos."

Kurt's eyes go wide. "Drain clearing? Wh-what does that mean?"

"This guy drives all over, and when he finds a street that's flooded, he takes out a rake, drags it through the water, and tries to find the blocked drain."

"Does he work for the city?"

"Nah. He's just some guy."

"And he's made a whole channel about... clearing drains."

"Yes, sir."

"And you're watching it?"

"It came up in my recommendations so I clicked one." Sebastian shakes his head, chuckling when stagnant grey water, punctuated by speckles of rain, turns into a whirlpool, rushing through thick iron bars embedded in the concrete and disappearing from view. "It's so satisfying."

"What on Earth were you watching before this that YouTube recommended it?"

"Car cleaning videos."

Kurt's left eyebrow slowly climbs up his forehead. "A-ha."

"Yup. I never realized how relaxing it is to watch a handsome guy Bissell Kool-Aid stains out of carpet. But now... it's my jam."

Kurt huffs, offended on behalf of himself and his own vigorous cleaning regimen. "It wasn't your jam when I was steam cleaning our throw rugs! And the curtains!"

"Yeah, well, things hit different when you're forced into isolation."

Kurt storms forward a step. But then he remembers. And he stops, foot hovering an inch past the sacred boundary that keeps him from venturing too close to infection. He teeters, determination creasing his brow while anxiety wrestles his shoulders back. All the while, a war wages inside his tired brain:

"Get him! You've been vaccinated!"

"It's only one dose!"

"He's not even sick!"

"You don't know that!"

"Yes, I do!"

"It's not worth the risk!"

"Yes... it... IS!"

"Come on!" Kurt demands, throwing himself bodily at the sofa. He grabs Sebastian's hand, a small voice screaming inside his head as if his tiny naysayer is being burned at the stake. "Come with me... NOW!"

"Where are we going?" Sebastian asks, rushing to move his computer to the side before he gets dragged off the sofa by his surprisingly strong boyfriend.

"This is an intervention."

"But you shouldn't be touching me! Or breathing my air! I have one day left!"

"You're fine! If you haven't gotten sick by now, you probably aren't going to! This is an emergency!"

"What emergency?"

"Quarantine has turned you into someone I don't recognize! Car cleaning videos? Who are you right now?"

"They're educational. It's good to learn a new skill."

Kurt barks a laugh that could shatter crystal. "Right. Like you'd ever. You'd pay highway robbery to have your ten-speed detailed!"

"Nope, because you'd do it for free."

Kurt rolls his eyes, unwilling to entertain his boyfriend's mocking of him to ask whether or not that's code. "If you're going to ogle a man wielding a Bissell, Goddammit, it's going to be me!"

"So... are we going to clean some carpets?"

"We're going to take a shower and then have sex. A lot of sex. You're getting fucked and sucked until you're back to normal."

Sebastian snorts, delighted by his incredibly good fortune. "If you insist. But are you absolutely sure about this?"

Kurt stops short and faces Sebastian. He looks him over, making certain he doesn't seem particularly sick, and shrugs.

"We'll wear masks. Or three. I don't need to kiss you to make you cum." Kurt continues to drag Sebastian towards the bathroom as his grin grows to epic proportions.

"Kinky."

#kurtbastian #acitw #acitw au #sebkurt #sekurt

42 notes · View notes

minettestan · 3 years

Note

Do you have a tag for games you recommend? I'm always looking for new games and my experience with point and click or 90s computer games is sorely lacking.

💕My favorite question💕 I took one of my old posts and updated it, so here!

💕 Personal Favorite

💀 Scary Content

👧 Female Protagonist

✨ Important to the genre’s history

📚 Tricky for new players, look up controls or a walkthrough to get started

❕ Difficult

👿 Potential insensitive content

The Colonel’s Bequest (1989) $5.99 💕✨👧💀❕📚

“It is the year 1925, and the roaring '20s are well underway. As Laura Bow, young college student, you've been invited to visit the Colonel's isolated estate. Watch as the Colonel announces his intention to bequeath his millions to all present!”

The classic Sierra murder mystery game, developed by the mother of the genre Roberta Williams. Laura Bow is a sorely overlooked female protagonist. The game works by navigating Laura and typing in commands, kinda of tricky at first. Tons of game overs are a hallmark of a Sierra adventure game so save often! If you play the GOG.com version you get the benefit of autosaves. This game runs a timer, the events of the night will unfold with or without you so stay on your toes and keep moving! The game can be found for free here, but imo the $5.99 is worth it for the easy of access.

The Dagger of Amon-Ra (1992) $5.99 👧✨❕📚👿💀

“Laura Bow, intrepid heroine of The Colonel's Bequest, is back! This time she's trapped in a huge, imposing museum in the dead of night, surrounded by socialites, miscreants, thieves...and a cold, relentless murderer.“

Roberta Williams is back! Iconic game, iconic heroine. It’s still a Sierra game so like TCB there are tons of (iconic) game overs, so save often. Solving puzzles in this one gives me a great serotonin rush. Unfortunately, this game has some racism issues, particularly with the characters Lo Fat and Ramses. While an important game in the genre take it with a huge grain of salt and maybe turn of the (kind of awful) voice acting and enable text-only mode and you’ll avoid some awful accents.

Sam & Max: Hit the Road (1993) $5.99 💕✨

“Sam (a canine shamus) and Max (a hyperkinetic rabbity thing) are hot on the trail of a runaway carnival bigfoot across America’s quirky underbelly in this deranged animated adventure!“

Sam & Max are truly my favorite characters in all of fiction. I have the box art to this game as my phone case. I have Sam & Max action figures, a plush Max on my bed, a print edition of Sam & Max Freeland Police Special #1 framed on my wall. From comics, to games, to cartoons I love these guys. Sam & Max: Hit the Road is a classic of the Lucasarts adventure games. That being said, it’s the least user-friendly of the Sam & Max adventure games and the slowest. I still love it to bits and it’s important to the genre’s history imo.

Gabriel Knight: Sins of the Fathers (1993) $5.99 💕💀👿

“The adventure of Gabriel Knight starts with gathering materials for his new book, and ends up becoming a fight for his very soul. He must now face countless dangers in New Orleans, Africa and Germany, each bringing him ever closer to unraveling the mystery behind suspicious voodoo murders. Haunted by nightmares, he won't give up until he reveals the truth. “

Another Sierra game directed by a woman, Jane Jenson. Gabriel Knight, voiced by Tim Curry, is one of my favorite adventure game protagonists of all time. This game is scary and gory so enter at your own risk! I love the gameplay in this one, I love the narrator, I love the puzzles. But it seems Sierra games have some problems with the representation of minorities. The game is set in New Orleans and focuses on a voodoo cult. Which means consequently the game's major antagonists are all black. Unlike the Dagger of Amon Ra, Sins of the Fathers actually employed black actors to play black characters. There’s a lot to be said about the ways in which white media demonizes voodoo and those who practice it. If you play this one, remain critical. And for the love of god, don’t play the 20th anniversary version.

Day of the Tentacle: Remastered (1993/2016) $14.99 ✨👧❕

“Originally released by LucasArts in 1993 as a sequel to Ron Gilbert’s ground breaking Maniac Mansion, Day of the Tentacle is a mind-bending, time travel, cartoon puzzle adventure game in which three unlikely friends work together to prevent an evil mutated purple tentacle from taking over the world!“

Another classic LucasArts game! This was the first game co-headed by Tim Schaffer who would go on to make the outstanding Grim Fandango! This one is exceedingly wacky and the remastered version has made it more user-friendly than ever.

Toonstruck (1996) $9.99 💕

“Drew Blanc is a cartoon animator and the original creator of the Fluffy Fluffy Bun Bun Show.. Drew's boss, Sam Schmaltz, sets him the task of designing more bunnies to co-star in the Fluffy Fluffy Bun Bun Show by the next morning. However, the depressed animator soon nods off, suffering from acute artist's block. He wakes early the next morning to inexplicably find his television switched on, announcing the Fluffy Fluffy Bun Bun Show. Suddenly, Drew is mysteriously drawn into the television screen and transported to an idyllic two-dimensional cartoon world populated by his own creations, among many other cartoon characters.“

If you’re a fan of Who Framed Roger Rabbit? you’ll love this. Christopher Lloyd is Drew Blanc (ha) trying to save a cartoon world through inventory item puzzles. Truly wacky, zany, and ani-mainy. I played Toontown as a kid so I’m predisposed to like this one. This is also the only game with Full Motion Video I’m putting on the list because FMV games can be an acquired taste.

Grim Fandango (1996/2015) $14.99 💕✨

“Something's rotten in the land of the dead, and you're being played for a sucker. Meet Manny Calavera, travel agent at the Department of Death. He sells luxury packages to souls on their four-year journey to eternal rest. But there's trouble in paradise. Help Manny untangle himself from a conspiracy that threatens his very salvation.“

Yesssssssss! I LOVE Grim Fandango! The iconic game directed by Tim Schaffer has received the best remaster I’ve seen a point n’ click receive. I cannot recommend Grim Fandango enough! Stick with it through the forest section, trust me.

The Last Express (1997) $5.99 ❕ 📚

“Paris, 1914. The world is on the brink of war and this train could push it over the edge. You are Robert Cath, a young American urgently summoned by your old friend Tyler Whitney to join him aboard the Paris-Constantinople express, departing from the Gare de l'Est on July 24th. Arriving late, you discover something has gone terribly wrong. Now you must untangle a complex web of political intrigue, suspense, romance, and betrayal. Every move you make could bring you closer to the truth or your own demise. Bon voyage! “

Ooooh I love a murder on a train! This game features rotoscope animation, which I love. Like The Colonel’s Bequest this game runs in real time, meaning the events of the game will unfold with or without you, depending on where you are at what time you’ll receive different information or see/miss different events. Very replayable with several different outcomes.

Sam & Max Save the World (Remastered) $19.99 💕

“ Sam is a six-foot canine detective with a love of justice. Max is a hyperkinetic rabbity-thing with a taste for mayhem. Together, they're the Freelance Police. And they're about to save the world.”

Sam & Max Save the World, originally released in episodes from 2006-2008 has been remastered and looks AMAZING! After LucasArts was shut down their game devs formed Tell Tale Games and produced three seasons of Sam & Max sequel games, all of which are great. But TellTale was shut down (and screwed over their employees) in 2018. Since then some of their devs have formed Skunkape Games and are currently remastering all of Tell Tale’s Sam & Max series (I’m thrilled). They’ve also adjusted some aspects of the game to make the game more inclusive and less **offensive. So imo it’s worth it to wait for the release of the other seasons to experience Sam & Max in pristine condition. Save the World is the only season out now, but you can get the non-remastered versions of Beyond Time and Space, and In The Devil’s Playhouse, here and here.

**I should note the “offensive” material in the original is not as egregious as say, The Dagger of Amon-Ra, but it’s just a nice change to see especially in a game I hold dear.

Emerald City Confidential (2009) $9.99 👧

“Explore the underbelly of Oz as Emerald City's most cunning detective! As Petra, you'll be lured deep into mysteries involving new foes and familiar faces; Scarecrow, Lion, and Toto included! This is Oz as you've never seen it before! Solve the mystery and unravel a conspiracy of magic and intrigue! Follow a case through five chapters full of puzzles, witnesses, suspects, and allies in this twist on a timeless classic! “

We’re moving out of the 1990s now. Emerald City Confidential is the Wizard of Oz meets film noir. I played this as 13 year old and have revisited it as an adult and I still eat it up. Wadjet Eye makes consistently good adventure games so check this one out!

The Blackwell Series (2006) $14.99 💕👧

“Meet Rosangela Blackwell, an embittered writer who just found out that she is a medium and that it’s her mission, whether she likes it or not, to assist tormented spirits and investigate other supernatural goings-on. She is assisted by the sardonic Joey Mallone, a ghost from the 1930s.”

Another Wadjet Eye game! I’ve seen these games recommended amoungst the Clue Crew before and I’ll just throw my own endorsement on the pile. Yeah I’m in love with Joey Mallone. What about it?

The Charnel House Trilogy (2015) $5.99 👧💀

“Witness The Charnel House Trilogy, the chronicle of one fateful night aboard a train bound for Augur Peak. Three thrilling, horrifying adventure games in one, from the depths of the Sepulchre.”

Plays like Blackwell, has a Blackwell reference at the beginning, okay you got me. This is a good, if kinda short, game. It’s very creepy, involves murder and has some gore/violence so watch out! I’m still waiting on the sequel Owl Cave!

Thimbleweed Park (2017) $19.99 👧

“A haunted hotel, an abandoned circus, a burnt-out pillow factory, a dead body pixelating under the bridge, toilets that run on vacuum tubes... you’ve never visited a place like this before.“

Made by Ron Gilbert and Gary Winnick the creators of the classic games Maniac Mansion and Monkey Island Thimbleweed Park is a love letter to the classics of the point and click adventure genre. Features 5 different playable characters, ala Maniac Mansion, who and how many you play is up to you! This one also has stand alone DLCs!

Unavowed (2018) $14.99 👧

“ A demon possessed you one year ago. Since that day, you unwillingly tore a trail of bloodshed through New York City. Your salvation comes in the form of the Unavowed – an ancient society dedicated to stopping evil.”

Okay I haven’t actually played this one, but I want to. Its a Wadjet Eye so you know it’s good. From the reviews I’ve seen this is the Blackwell Series meets Dragon Age. A point and click that incorporates RPG elements, I love that.

I also have a love of the more, strange, and unusual adventure games that I can't necessarily recommend with good conscience. So if you want bizarre 90s and early 2000s games of dubious quality hit me up.

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blueeyedgeorgie · 4 years

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Makeup with Alex-A.E

“Alex got that Shane Dawson makeup kit, right? Maybe he could rope Y/N into filming a video with him (a “doing my girlfriends makeup” type thing) and it could be cute fluff Maybe the video also doubles as his introduction of Y/N to the fans ??”

Pairing: ImAllexx x Reader

Word Count: 1.7k+

___________________________

"I'm sure you guys only clicked on the video because Y/n is in the thumbnail," Alex spoke up as he took a seat on the cypress-colored couch. Next to him sat his friend, Y/n L/n. Y/n didn't have her own YouTube channel, but she was often spotted in his friends' videos. Just the other day Y/n was featured on Fraser's channel to talk about Trisha Paytas. "Yes, because I'm absolutely amazing," Y/n grinned. Her hand snuck her way into Alex's grasp, giving his hand a squeeze. "I can't disagree with that," a smile appeared on Alex's face as e looked to the floor in a bashful manner. Y/n merely let out a small giggle at his actions. "Are you gonna tell them or do I have to?" Y/n kept her eyes on Alex. "We also have news," Alex looked up to the camera, his smile stayed on his face. "Y/n and I have started dating." Excitedly, Y/n shot her hand that was holding Alex's into the camera frame, pulling his hand with her. Y/n's grin grew wider. "And even though most of you already know Y/n from other videos, what'd be better than talking about our relationship for 20 minutes while I try and do her makeup?" Alex let out a chuckle as he wrapped an arm around Y/n's shoulders, she leaned into him with a smile. "This should be fun," Y/n muttered gently. "Makeup with Alex." "So Y/n pulled out some of her makeup and placed it on the table, but I also pulled out my own makeup as well," Alex gave a look at the camera. He leaned down to the coffee table that stood in front of them, quickly he picked up a black eyeshadow palette with the word 'Conspiracy' sprawled out on the front. "If you remember, I got one of Shane Dawson's palettes when it first came out." "How'd you even get it?" Y/n shook her head. "I just walked in and picked it up," Alex gave a small shrug as he placed the palette back down. "Oh, well I'm just happy you let me use it sometimes," Y/n gave a shrug as well. "Of course," Alex let out another chuckle. "Anyways, I think I should start doing your makeup now." "I actually forgot I wasn't wearing any," Y/n spoke, watching Alex pick up a random foundation. "That's because you're beautiful with or without it," Alex smiled as he picked up a fan brush and foundation blender. "I think I'm gonna go with these first." "Awh, I love you, bubba," Y/n cooed. In a quick pace, she leaned close to her boyfriend, placing a kiss on his jawline, missing his cheek. "Love you too, cutie," Alex smiled. "I think you're supposed to close your eyes... maybe?" Y/n gave a look at the camera before she closed her eyes. "Am I doing something wrong?" "No, no, just do the makeup, bubba." It was now Alex's turn to look at the camera before turning back to his girlfriend. The brunette had placed the foundation onto Y/n's face by using the blender, but once the foundation was on Y/n's face, he swapped the blender out for the fan brush. Y/n let out a giggle at the feeling of Alex putting the foundation on her face. Carefully, she opened her eyes to see what he was using. "You're not using the right brush," Y/n bit her lip, watching her boyfriend's attention pull away from focusing on painting her face. "How should I know?" "You literally watch me do my makeup every day while you wait for me." "I don't pay that much attention, apparently," Alex sighed. "Was I doing it right with the weird pink thing?" "Uh, yeah," Y/n gave a nod. Alex swapped out the fan brush for the blender again. "What's this thing called again?" "A blender, Al." "Blender," Alex repeated as he began to pat in Y/n's foundation. After a moment, Alex pulled away and placed the pink little thing back onto the coffee table. "What's this thing?" Alex picked up a small tube of color corrector. Quietly he mumbled the label of the tube to himself. "That's color correcter, bubba," Y/n smiled. "Oh." Alex opened the tube, pulling out the applicator. He began to brush it against Y/n's cheekbones. Y/n let out a laugh from Alex and his decisions with the makeup. "What's wrong now?" "Nothing," Y/n shook her head. "I feel like something's wrong because you're laughing," Alex bit his lip. "No, I'm just laughing because it tickles when someone else does it," Y/n slightly lied. "Whatever," Alex chuckled. He placed the color corrector back on the table in front of them and picked the blender back up and began to work on blending in the corrector. "Concealer? No clue what that is but we're not even gonna touch it," Alex looked through the tubes, bottles, and packages on the table. Y/n gave a look at the camera once again. "Contour... I guess I'll try this," Alex picked up a random brush to go with it. The brunette began to spread contour across Y/n's face. After a few moments of contouring, Alex was finally happy with the amount he placed on his girlfriend's face. "I find it amusing how we're not even talking, we're just focusing on the makeup," Y/n laughed, watching Alex go through her makeup once again. "I kinda wish I told everyone before so we'd be able to answer some of their questions," Alex replied, glancing back at his girlfriend. "I have a question," Y/n smiled. "When did you realize you had feelings for me?" "I think it had to be that one night we went out to that one fancy restaurant that had just opened. We went out with a couple of friends, but seeing you all dressed up... I think that's when I realized it," Alex responded. "What about you, cutie?" "It had to be when I spent the night, cooking with you was so fun and you let me steal one of your hoodies," Y/n grinned. "Bronzer," Alex mumbled, reading a small container. "I think I have a clue what this is used for." "Oh?" "Isn't it to highlight your face or something?" Alex asked, grabbing a small brush to use for the bronzer. "Sorta," Y/n smiled, watching her boyfriend. Gently, Alex pressed one of his hands against Y/n's neck, making her hold place as he began to place the bronzer on her face. Y/n held her breath as he did, something about Alex having a hand on her neck felt right. It felt good. Slowly, she bit her lip as she paid attention to how her boyfriend focused on her makeup. Soon enough, the feeling of Alex's hand left Y/n's neck as he pulled away. Yet, he still flashed a quick smirk at Y/n before fully turning back to the table to pick something new out. A smile reappeared on Alex's face as he went back to looking at the makeup, "Is it time for the eyeshadow?" "Is it?" "I think it is." For a moment, Alex's hands lingered around the brushes as he tried to decide with one he'd use for her eyeshadow. Y/n watched his hand, he wore a few rings on his hand. She had no clue why, but she adored the fact Alex wore rings, something was just so attractive about him wearing rings. One of the rings he was wearing at the moment was black with gold bits. Was it a Gucci ring? Probably. Finally, Alex picked out a decent brush before opening the palette. "I think I'm gonna give you a pink and gold look," Alex looked at all the different colors before finally deciding to bury his brush into the pink named 'Trisha'. Alex placed the palette down and buried his free hand into Y/n's hair, yanking her hair back to make her head lean back. Y/n bit her lip, fighting off the urge to let out a noise from Alex's sudden action. She peeked one of her eyes open to see a small smirk on Alex's face. He knew what he was doing. "What's going on here?" "We're filming a video, George. So you might want to go put on your disguise," Alex responded. Y/n kept her eyes shut, listening to their voices. "Nah, I know you'll just blur my face out if I come into frame," George replied. "Ooh, Makeup? Are we doing Y/n's makeup? Lemme join." "Absolutely not," Alex replied, his rip on Y/n's hair loosening as he spoke to his flatmate. "Awh, c'mon! Y/n! Tell Alex I can join, I bet I can do better than him," George began to whine. "George, you literally tried to use eyeshadow to turn Alex into Mike Wazoski," Y/n replied, not bothering to open her eyes. "Boo!" George responded, finally heading back into his room. "Alright, back to what we were doing," Alex spoke once his flatmate was out of sight, once again his grip tightened on Y/n's hair. Y/n fought back the need to let out a moan. "You alright, Y/n?" "Just peachy," Y/n practically whined. "You don't sound like it." "Shut up, Alex," Y/n let out a giggle. After a few moments, Alex finally pulled his hand out of Y/n's hair. He turned back to the table, closing the palette and going back through the makeup. "Uh, mascara? No, Eyeliner I think," Alex finally picked up a black eyeliner that held gold cursive on the side of it. "Close your eyes, cutie." Y/n bit her lip as she followed instructions. She felt the tip of her eyeliner against her skin. After a moment, Alex told her she could open her eyes again. "I'm not even gonna try with the mascara, I might poke your eyes out," Alex shook his head at the sight of the black tube sitting on the coffee table ominously. "Finally, lipstick," Alex muttered, looking through the different shades Y/n owned. He decided on a soft pink shade before turning to Y/n. Gently, he applied the lipstick, Y/n watching as he did so. "Wait, I think something's missing from your lips, lemme just-" Alex leaned in, pressing his lips against Y/n's. Y/n smiled into the kiss, leaning closer as she placed a hand on her boyfriend's thigh. They broke apart from the kiss before they would begin to make out. After all, they were still filming. "Now I need to reapply your lipstick," Alex clicked his tongue. Y/n only shook her head with a small giggle. Once Alex was happy with his work, he placed the lipstick down. "I think I'm done." "You sure?" "Yes." "You forgot the blush." "...Fuck."

Taglist:

@daddydobrock

@anyasthoughts

@multifandom-but

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nnnnoooooooooooo · 3 years

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My Ballot for They Shoot Pictures, Don’t They?’s 25 Favourite Films Poll

The following is my ballot for They Shoot Pictures, Don’t They?’s poll for their readers’ 25 favourite films of all-time. It contains a dozen or so favourites, several compromises, and a handful of personally foundational texts.

Seven Chances (1925, Buster Keaton): It ain’t easy to only choose one Keaton. This is one of Keaton’s films with a racist blackface character, which gave me some reservations. Still, this is a solid contender as his funniest picture, and, more importantly, this is Buster as I love him the most. Keaton’s characters were always the most cerebral and lost, keen observers with no understanding. An inability to communicate one’s emotions drives the need to convert it into a physical experience; Keaton inevitably becomes the object that cannot be stopped. His full forced desperation and athleticism, he is a master of locomotion. Featuring the finalization of the chase gag, along with a generous serving of his brand of surreal.

City Lights (1931, Charles Chaplin): Comedically and emotionally devastating.

Trouble in Paradise (1932, Ernst Lubitsch): Lubtisch’s portrayal of Continental aristocracy on the cusp. Containing love, melancholy, desire, rivalry, loyalty, betrayal, criminals, and thieves-- all saved by his grace alone, achieving a rare bliss of comedy and romance. Normally, I’d say that, in a temporal world, perfection exists only as a process, but then how would I explain this?

La grande illusion (1937, Jean Renoir): In the best of Renoir’s films, I find a type of harmony I find lacking in the rest of the world.

La règle du jeu (1939, Jean Renoir): In making this list, I never doubted either of these Renoir films having a place. Now, trying to write about my list, I find myself becoming frustrated at not finding the words to explain why I chose them. I’ve never been a great communicator, and I doubt that’s Renoir’s fault. I think it’s best for me to move on before I start misplacing my frustrations with my inability to write onto the film itself.

How Green Was My Valley? (1941, John Ford): Possibly the greatest movie ever made under Hollywood’s Studio System, and perhaps the closest we’ll ever get to seeing what Hedy Lamarr might have seen in John Loder. More than any other actor, Sara Allgood carries this film, in her role as the matriarch of the Morgan household. This is chock full of great character actors and moments as you’d expect from Ford. It’s the magic of childhood, the safety of the womb, the cyclical nature of a town where nothing ever seems to change, and the devastation of entropy. I lost track of how many times I cried.

To Be or Not to Be (1942, Ernst Lubitsch): This is my choice for a comedy from the 1940s, despite stiff competition from Hellzapoppin’, and the 11 movies Preston Sturges released over the decade. I had the privilege of seeing this at my local Cinemateque with an introduction by Kevin McDonald. I was late, and the audience had already begun to talk back. He rolled, and we were soon laughing before the “projectionist” could hit ‘play’ on the Blu-Ray. My friend came later. It was a packed house, so we weren’t able to sit together. I enjoyed hearing the variances in people’s response*, and the timing of their laughter. Trying to pinpoint my friend’s laughter from the crowd, I couldn’t help but hear our host’s generous laughter throughout the film. What a joy it was for all of us to experience this film together. I guess I haven’t had a chance to share those other movies the way that I was with this one. *A nice change of pace, as this usually makes me self-conscious

Shadow of a Doubt (1943, Alfred Hitchcock): I find Hitchcock’s women’s pictures to be some of his richest texts. Besides which, any film asking me to sympathize with Theresa Wright already has a lot going for it. Alongside The Wrong Man as Hitchcock’s most tragic film.

Brief Encounter (1945, David Lean): My favourite romance, whatever that says about me. A passionate extramarital affair between Laura Jesson (Celia Johnson) and Dr. Alec Harvey (Trevor Howard), told in flashback. I don’t think I’ve ever seen this placed among noirs, but I think this could be an example of a women’s film noir. There’s a thick sense of transgression and fatalistic mise-en-scene, along with an inability to escape, which ends the film on an unconvincing return to safety. After the two lovers part for the final time, Johnson returns home. Her husband, Stanley Holloway, asks for nothing, and expresses gratitude for her return. However, for all of that loveliness, Johnson has learned that the world is far more fragile than she ever dreamt. The husband is portrayed as a bit childlike, and, coupled with the affably stiff upper-lipped nature of their marriage, Johnson is unable to confess what’s occurred, which only preserves her turmoil. Unable to consummate, sustain, or forsake her romance with Howard, she may find some refuge with her husband, but salvation eludes her.

Out of the Past (1947, Jacques Tourneur): RKO Pictures, film noir, Jacques Tourneur, and Robert Mitchum– These are a few of my favourite things. As a prude, I don’t care to admit that I love cigarette smoke in B&W pictures as much as I do, and it’s deployed here to its zenith, courtesy of Nicholas Musuraca’s cinematography. Daniel Mainwaring’s script, along with Tourneur and Mitchum, use underplay in order to create a heightened effect. Mitchum’s somnambulism grants his portrayal of Jeff Bailey an omniscient cool, which extends to his character’s bisexuality. There’s such delight in hearing Mitchum, one of the best voices in movies, deliver the film’s lyrical dialogue in his disaffected baritone.

The Big Heat (1953, Fritz Lang): Perhaps Lang’s most cynical film? The culmination of all his conspiracies. The law vs. criminals, no longer as separate from one another, but as sides of the same coin: the establishment. Sergeant Bannion (Glenn Ford) engages in total war against Lagana’s (Alexander Scourby) crime syndicate. Those caught in between end up as collateral damage, pawns in their game. Each dismantles the family unit, Lagana disposes of Bannion’s wife (Jocelyn Brando), and Bannion displaces his child, so that both sides can carry on unfettered. The happy ending finds Bannion happily back at work in the homicide department, where they’re informed of a grisly murder. Oh boy, here we go again! Gloria Grahame, a sister under the mink, reigns as my favourite actress in all of film noir.

The Sun Shines Bright (1953, John Ford): It’s not easy to film a miracle, a feat for which I’d pair this with Carl Th. Dreyer’s penultimate film, Ordet. Speaking of Dreyer, if you have 15 minutes to spare, here’s a great video of Jonathan Rosenbaum discussing this movie alongside Dreyer’s final film, Gertrud. The responsibilities and limitations of society. Communities are built through sacrifice, as we give of ourselves, which accounts for the film’s sometimes funereal tone. One’s resting spot as the place to make a stand, but what good is taking a stand if it doesn’t lead anywhere? Our redemption lies not in preserving ourselves, but in guiding the world to a place that no longer needs us. Thus, not a dying world to save, but an understanding that we must pass in order to bring about renewal. Funerals become parades, and parades become funerals, as we walk the strait and narrow path between tradition and progress. Don’t take a stand while the world marches on, but lead us into thy rest.

The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T (1953, Roy Rowland): This is a musical written and designed by Dr. Seuss, which is to say that I think you oughta see it. Still, it’s hard to justify why I chose this over The Band Wagon. I’d probably better enjoy watching The Band Wagon, which I’d wager is Hollywood’s greatest musical, but there’s something about The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T that gets under my skin. I saw it on television when I was very young. Old enough to remember seeing it, but too young to remember more than three details: twins joined at the beard, the nightmare-inducing elevator operator, and a large piano requiring an exponential amount of fingers. This forgotten foundation, along with its Seussian imagery, grants the film a dreamlike feeling. Just as every good boy deserves fudge, every Hans Conried deserves a role like the one he has here, playing the titular Dr. T.

The Night of the Hunter (1955, Charles Laughton): A kid’s film featuring the personification of evil, not in Mitchum’s portrayal of the preacher Harry Powell, but in Evelyn Varden’s Icey Spoon. This movie is so full of indelible images that I sometimes forget LOVE/HATE tattooed on Powell’s knuckles. There’s a dreadful unease from the inability to fully save or preserve Ben & Pearl within a society whose systems turn on them so easily. Their safety is drawn and quartered at every turn, and so Ben & Pearl flee society, finding a guardian out yonder. Still, there’s a limitation to their newfound guardian’s protection. Their angel and their demon sing in harmony; evil becomes instructive to the children’s growth. It’s a hard world for little things, but there is hope. Mrs. Cooper (Lillian Gish) manages to find her redemption in protecting these children while she can. Perhaps we need them as much as they need us. This was Charles Laughton’s only film as a director, as well as the final of James Agee’s two films as a screenwriter. It isn’t right.

Sweet Smell of Success (1957, Alexander Mackendrick): This is my favourite film noir, possibly the nastiest as well. Of course, I cackle throughout the entire picture. Burt Lancaster and Tony Curtis at their bests; the tension between a malevolent god and his jester/would-be pretender played as flirtation, conducting assassinations as though they were composing poetry. Shot on location in New York by James Wong Howe, giving us a view of Babel from the gutters up. Also, I’m just a big ol’ softy for Emile Meyer, who plays Lt. Kello.

Will Success Spoil Rock Hunter? (1957, Frank Tashlin): As I see it, this is the best sex comedy of the ‘50s and ‘60s. Tashlin previously worked at Termite Terrace, making Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies, and did a brief stop making Screen Gem cartoons over at Columbia in the middle. After having brought feature film techniques to his cartoons, he brought cartoon imagery into his live-action films. This is a vehicle for Jayne Mansfield, who may have been the most cartoonish of the era’s blonde bombshells, and so it is a happy marriage indeed.

Playtime (1967, Jacques Tati): This is cinema. Ah! Tati, Ah! Modernity

Out 1: noli me tangere (1971, Jacques Rivette & Suzanne Schiffman): Rivette’s movies feel alive in a way that I haven’t found anywhere else. The films I’ve seen are about conspiracy, games, and the development of theatre troupes: things that exist only in our minds, and are dependant on our cooperation with others. Things get so twisted that you wonder how they’ll ever untie it all, only for the shared illusions to be revealed as a complex series of false knots. I broke my rule with this film, in choosing a film that I’ve only seen once. I didn’t make the time to revisit this or Céline et Julie vont en bateau, my other favourite Rivette film, so I went with the larger labyrinth to lose myself in.

F for Fake (1973, Orson Welles): This is Orson Welles’s most playful film. I love Welles, the personality, almost as much as I love Welles, the director, so I chose a movie that features both.

Mikey and Nicky (1976, Elaine May): Perhaps the most tense and dark comedy I’ve ever seen. May reaches her highest levels of drama here, and does so without any cost to her usual standards for humour.

It’s a Wonderful Life (1946, Frank Capra): I wasn’t sure about including this, given that it’s not even my favourite James Stewart Christmas movie, but what can I do? It’s a Wonderful Life is an institution in my family, we’ve watched this every Christmas Eve since I was grade 6. There was a year or two in the early ‘10s where we might have missed it, but, otherwise, we’ve been devout. This is also one of four sources that laid the foundation for my love of movies, and, in particular, older movies. I hope to continue to watch this every year. It just wouldn’t be Christmas. Growing up, my brothers and I used to be allowed to open one gift the night of Christmas Eve, which evolved into my brothers and I exchanging our gifts for each other. The first year my brother’s and I exchanged gifts, we happened upon CBC playing It’s a Wonderful Life in a 3-hour timeslot. Filling in the gaps of my memory with ego, I’d say that I instigated our watching it. I was always the biggest sucker for holiday specials, as well as being the most drawn to B&W. It was an instant hit with all of us, and so two traditions were born that night. For those curious as to what year this took place, I gave my oldest brother a 3 Doors Down CD. My older brother got me the Beast Wars transmetal Terrosaur figure. And. It. Freakin’. Ruled. CBC continued to air It’s a Wonderful Life every Christmas Eve, and we continued to tune in. My brothers and I continued to exchange gifts on Christmas Eve for about another decade, but now my family has a better Christmas Eve tradition to pair with our holiday movie: Chinese food, and, less dogmatically, vegetable samosas. Leftovers become brunch. We’ve watched the movie, I think, twenty times now, which includes one viewing of the unfortunate colourized version, and once in theatres. It’s a great movie to come back to each year. There are lots of little moments, lines, and details to zero in on, and each year I get to internally test and brag to myself about naming and recognizing the various character actors and bit players that pop up. Still, I sometimes find myself resisting its charms. A couple of years ago, my view of Frank Capra changed. I no longer saw him as the director I had previously thought him to be*. I wondered whether this movie stood on its own merits, or if I was holding onto it for sentimental reasons. I have since settled on this film being a genuine classic. Another source of resistance is that I’ve never watched this on its own, there’s a lack of an individual foundation to my relationship with the film. I’m so accustomed to viewing films on my own, I think there’s a relief in a taking a private experience, and having it succeed in a public forum. The two support each other, which is part of why a couple of films ended up on this list. However, when it’s a film I’ve only seen in the company of others, I become suspicious of my experience. I believe in the power of cinema when it’s to my benefit, only to doubt it when I fear that it has the power betray me. I guess that I lack faith. *The director I once thought Frank Capra was, I now find Leo McCarey to be.

Doctor Who: The Lost in Time Collection (1963-69, various): This was a last minute decision that ended on a mistake. I ought to have chosen Daleks: The Early Years instead, which has the proper framing of a retrospective documentary. Daleks: The Early Years is a VHS release hosted by Peter Davison, featuring interviews with key people from ‘60s Dalek stories, cannibalizing clips from Dalekmania (another documentary on Daleks in the ‘60s), and orphan episodes and snippets from otherwise lost ‘60s Dalek serials. It’s also one of the VHS tapes that I grew up with, and my introduction to the fact that, at the time, over 100 episodes of ‘60s Doctor Who were missing and presumed lost. This was my introduction to the concept of lost media. Since then, a further 12 episodes have been found, and the number of missing episodes has dropped to 97. Instead, I chose The Lost in Time Collection, which is a 3-disc collection of orphan episodes and surviving clips from otherwise missing ‘60s serials, not actually a feature in itself. It’s a really nice sampling of the Doctor Who’s best era, and the episodes and clips are sometimes more interesting without the rest of their serial for context. While I didn’t get this collection until I was an adult, I had managed to see most or all of its contents growing up, mostly on various VHS compilations, as well as some clips online. As the deadline for submissions approached, I chose the one I enjoy more, rather than the one that first changed me. I suspect that Doctor Who was the first work of science-fiction that I got into, as it predates me in our household. My brothers and my getting into Transformers predates my memory, but it does not predate my being around. Doctor Who also served as my first exposure to B&W viewing. I was really into science-fiction growing up, and the genre was really my first interest in older films. The interest didn’t really bridge its way from my youth into my present. Heck, I wasn’t even particularly a movie person until into my twenties. In early adulthood, after fading for a bit, my fondness for science-fiction was more directed towards video games and books. So while it didn’t lead into my love of film and B&W, it laid a lot of the groundwork for what I’d eventually come to love. My oldest brother remembers staying up late with our parents to watch Doctor Who, and my older brother has memories of trying to stay up with them, but it was no longer airing on any of the stations we had by the time I was kicking. Loved, but unseen, it developed a sort of mythic reputation in my young mind. Over the years, we managed to see a bunch of serials on VHS through our local library system, and we eventually got 5 VHS releases of our own before the decade ended. We got a book, The Doctor Who Yearbook, which had listings and synopsises of every serial ever made. The classic Doctor Who series lasted 26 seasons, consisting of 153 serials, and just shy of 700 episodes. No matter how many episodes of Doctor Who I managed to see when I was growing up, it was only ever the tip of the iceberg. My younger self liked daydreaming about all of the adventures, planets, aliens, robots, and monsters, but that would begin to dissipate with age. While I loved Star Wars for the many of the same reasons as I did Doctor Who, the advent of more Star Wars wasn’t all that fulfilling, with Episode I: Racer for the N64 PC as a noted exception. More than the fact that I was caught up in the cultural backlash against George Lucas, the lack of a well defined characters and society in the original trilogy was a virtue. The toys and books really capitalized on this. I was the kid that wanted to know every weirdo and background character’s life story. I was such a mark. The more movies they made that added to the lore, the smaller their galaxy seemed to be, in opposition to an expanded universe. Each piece promising to add to the larger picture only seemed to reveal a smaller whole. More movies telling the same stories with different versions of the same characters. A galaxy that once seemed so vast now revealed to be comprised of maybe two dozen people, many of which are related or connected to each other in some tired and unnecessary way. Eventually, I got really into Jonathan Rosenbaum, and began to project my ego all over his preferences, to which Star Wars became a victim. I gave up on the series after sitting through a showing of Episode VII. Fires subside, and, these days, I’m mostly indifferent towards the series. Undergraduates can be a bit much, y’know? While the new Doctor Who series also fell out of favour with me, it was easier for me to divorce it from the original series. Having seen the series only in disparate pieces, rather than a linear narrative may have helped. I have no illusions that the original series is anything more than a silly kid’s show that mostly takes place in corridors, which is a fine thing to be. It’s enough to be a delight. The deceit of nostalgia is that I can return to these works I once loved with the same feelings and wonder that I had as a child. While I remain fond of Doctor Who, the whole of a serial is often less than the sum of its parts. After all, being a serial, half of the adventure is meant to take place in your head during the week between episodes. It’s the opposite of binge-watch material. It’s hard to commit to working your way through such a bulky series at a deliberately slow pace. Besides, even spacing the episodes out some, it’s still not going to capture my mind the way it would when I was a child. The virtue of the Lost in Time Collection is that you’re never seeing a serial as a whole, only as individual pieces. The collection consists of 18 complete episodes from 12 serials, with clips and bits from an additional 10 serials. Only one serial has more than two episodes featured, The Daleks’ Master Plan, a 12-part epic, which has its 3 known surviving episodes on the set. Freed from the responsibilities of being part of a larger story, you get to enjoy the pleasures of each episode as its own entity. Charm exists outside of context, and what may have been stretched and strained over half a dozen episodes can easily be sustained in the single episode or two that remains. A piece of Starburst may not keep its flavour any longer than a piece of Hubba Bubba, but at least it has the decency not to overstay its welcome. The less that remains of a serial, the more interesting it becomes. For some serials, the only surviving clips are the scenes that were cut by censors, and so you’re only seeing the juiciest bits. Protected by obscurity, just as recording in B&W protected this era of the series against its lack of budget, the childlike sense of wonder remains. Any missing serial could have been great. We lack evidence to prove otherwise. What little remains from these serials is enough to imagine what may have been, and it’s easy to give the benefit of the doubt to an old friend. No longer just a science-fiction adventure, the series has grown into a larger and more engaging adventure in film & television preservation. Thanks to its cultural status and following, questions as to how these stories were lost, why years of episodes were junked, how they were returned, in which disparate places were episodes found, who has been hunting for them, what were their methods, to what lengths did they go, what places remain to be searched, what remains to be found, what’s trapped in the hands of private collectors, and what has been lost forever have all been thoroughly explored, though some answers continue to elude us. For those interested, Youtuber Josh Snares has an extensive series of videos that breaks down many of these questions as best as one can with what’s publicly known, and, despite being on yotube, I don’t think he’s annoying. Doctor Who best represents my film lover’s sense of discovery, combining the joys of hearing about a film that piques my interest, trying to track a film down, discovering or rediscovering a new favourite, learning about film history, and the efforts of film preservation. Hearing about films I’d like to see can be nearly as rewarding as actually watching the films themselves. The more that I see, the more there is that I’d like to see. The harder something is to find, the more interesting it can become. Film is a physical object, so there is a battle against time for us to discover, recover, restore, and preserve works before they’re lost to time. The good news is that many efforts are being undertaken, both by professionals and by amateurs. The advent of crowdfunding has really helped to create more opportunities for completing these endeavours. Following an Indiegogo campaign, Netflix stepped in and completed Orson Welles’s The Other Side of the Wind. Many of Marion Davies’s silent films have been restored in recent years. Thanks to the efforts of Ben Model and his team, I will soon have the pleasure of seeing eight Edward Everett Horton shorts that haven’t been in circulation since the silent era. Steve Stanchfield (Thunderbean), Jerry Beck (Cartoon Research), Tommy Stathes (Cartoons On Film), and their cohorts are doing God’s work in finding and restoring old cartoons, and giving them an audience once more. I don’t think there’s ever been a more exciting time to be so out of touch.

The Muppet Movie (1979, James Frawley): The Muppets’ movies were a staple of our household growing up, and this ranks alongside The Great Muppet Caper as the best of them. This movie has a very self-aware humour to it, exemplified by the introduction. The camera wanders through a studio backlot, following a car carrying Statler & Waldorf, who provide us with the first dialogue of the film, announcing their intent to heckle the film. Inside, the Muppets are waiting for a private screening of The Muppet Movie to begin. It’s a disaster. A monster tears out one of the seats, the visibly deranged Crazy Harry blows up another, people are dancing in the aisles, and chickens are flying about. Objects being thrown include, but are not limited to, popcorn, Lew Zealand’s boomerang fish, and paper airplanes. A full-sized Muppet looms in the background, a giant colourful bird with enormous unblinking eyes, leaning a bit from side to side. An acknowledgement that somebody has let the animals in charge of the zoo. Still, a coziness remains amidst all of the chaos. Kermit attempts to introduce the movie to his peers, the lights go down, and he takes his seat. The movie opens in the heavens, where the credits and a rainbow appear. It clears onto a long, long shot of a swamp, slowly zooming in to reveal a frog on a log, playing a banjo, singing Paul Williams and Kenneth Ascher’s The Rainbow Connection. We’re taken away. One of the most vital aspects of the Muppets is that they exist in our world, something that gets lost in their 90’s trend of literary adaptations. An entire world of Muppets isn’t much of a utopian vision, but the idea that these animals, monsters, and whatevers belong in society alongside ‘real’ people is. This trend was part of a larger regression throughout the years with the Muppets. What began as a self-aware humour turned into a self-depreciating humour, and, eventually, a self-loathing humour. The Muppets used to take on the world, but, in later years, they seemed unable to dream of anything more than getting back together once more, so that they could reaffirm their lack of success. Bring them back to life so they can take one more dying breath. This Muppet movie is filled with celebrity cameos, in part a tribute to their variety show, as well as to the vaudevillian origins of most of their shtick. Here, the cameos serve the Muppets. Later, the Muppets would take a backseat, and become vehicles for others, not even allowed to star in their own movies. I wish they were given better opportunities to shine. As good as this film is, I have to admit that this film’s treatment of Miss Piggy is embarrassingly sexist. While they don’t look like Presbyterians to me, at their best, I think the Muppets have almost as much hope to offer as any religion.

Transformers: The Movie (1986, Nelson Shin): Watching this movie gives me the feeling I always hope that I’ll feel whenever I’ve bought concert tickets. I don’t watch this so much as I sing along to it. I even knew Vince DiCola’s score down to a ‘T’. With all due respect to Storefront Hitchcock, this is my personal Stop Making Sense.

Air Alert V. 4 (late 2000’s, TMT Sports): First, and most importantly, I do not recommend Air Alert nor any other paid for vertical jump program. I cannot stress that enough. They’re not designed by people who really know what they’re doing, the marketing is predatory, they’re unjustly hard on your joints, and they’re methods are not in conjunction with their promises of wild vertical gains. While I hope to stop finding that people have also done Air Alert, I immediately feel a strong kinship with those I learn have also been misled. Air Alert is a 15-week vertical jump program that makes the dubious promises of adding 8-14 inches to yer vertical leap to everyone, regardless of their current physical condition. It promises to add explosiveness to yer hops, but its means are an exponentially increasing amount of jump exercise repetitions. This is to say that, in practice, Air Alert actually builds jumping endurance, which teaches yer muscles to conserve energy, rather than to expend it in an explosive manner. Like all jump programs, it also fails to address that much of your jumping’s height comes from a combination of your core and upper body strength, as well as technique. The version I got also came with an advertised-as-new Air Alert Advanced, a further 6 weeks of yet more intensive exercise routine to add another 3-6 inches to yer leap. I did the 15 weeks of Air Alert, and, like everybody else I’ve known, I got 2-3 inches added to my vertical. After the recovery week suggested following completion of the program, I tried dunking at the church. You had better believe that I told my dad to bring his digital camera, ’cause this was gonna be a big deal. Being able to dunk was surely going to usher in a whole new era in my life. Now, I had been wrong about these sorts of things before. I had become skinny, I got a couple of nice shirts, I listened to what I though was the right unpopular music, and I had stolen some jokes, but my life largely remained the same. It seemed as though my life couldn’t be redeemed by vanity and trivialities, J still wasn’t dating me, but this would be so much more. This was dunking. This was going to be different. We went to the church, and I had the same problems as before. I could get high enough, but I couldn’t throw down. The further you extend a limb from your core, the less strength it has at its disposal. I had little upper-body strength to begin with, and, fully extended, my hand is pretty far from my body. I’d always lose the ball on the way up, or lose height putting more of my strength onto the ball. Legs can only take you so far. At my best, I’ve brought the ball to the rim, lost it, and, thanks to momentum, had the ball go off of the backboard and in. A lay-up isn’t a dunk. My knees have been crunchy ever since. After a further month of letting my joints recover, I tried my hand at Air Alert Advanced. After the first week, which consisted of 3 days of 2000 individual jumps, some of my friends reunited to play soccer at our old high school. I was proud to see that the goals we had rescued were still on the field. However, I found that my joints were so worn down that I could only run at a steady pace in a straight line. Turning, accelerating, and decelerating were all, sadly, out of the picture. I decided not to continue onto the subsequent weeks. I was still a fatuous pauper, single, and working at a shoe store while friends had gone on to do other things, so what did I manage to accomplish? Well, for starters, I gained some athletic ability for the first time in my life, which was neat. I gained a lot of leg strength, endurance, and quickness, as well as the previously mentioned 2-3 inches to my vert, all of which I treasured. Despite being the skinniest guy on the court, my legs were strong enough to anchor me in the key, and contend with guys up to double my weight. I went from being a guy who showed up to Dunkball, to becoming a guy that people wanted on their team. While others got tired throughout the night, slowly losing their vertical, I managed to jump just as frequently and just as high in my last game of the night as I could during my first. As both the tallest and the lankiest guy at Dunkball, my height advantage now increased in the air. I’d let people box me out, only to jump and reach over them. I felt so free. I was, and remain, Dunkball’s most improved player. Of course, it helps to have the advantage of having started out lower than everybody else. Once, somebody brought a friend who was taller than me. It was awful. As for dunking? Well, I could dunk small balls at the church, if I could close my hand on them. I managed to dunk a flat soccer ball on an outdoor net at a school yard once, but I never verified its height. I could dunk at the Academy chapel with the rim fully raised, though that rim sags in the front, so I’m guessing that rim was about 9’10”. Still, that won me a game of H-O-R-S-E or two. Sometimes, when warming up for Dunkball, someone would instigate a dunk competition, and I managed to develop a trademark dunk which nobody could replicate or stomach: the underhanded dunk. Norm was the only person not to loathe it, bless his heart. While I never managed to dunk on a proper 10’ net, I was able to goaltend, which has no use outside of being a dick to a friend. I was smarmy enough to do it once. Even at Dunkball, I never became much of a dunker, except on turnovers or tip-ins, or unless I had a guard who could do the work of setting me up. I’m more opportunistic than aggressive, besides, who am I going to beat off of the dribble? On my worst nights, I was still a tall guy who could jump, so I always drew the interest of a defender. I’ve always preferred defence to offence, and my favourite offensive play is to box out their post-player, either to be in a better position to rebound, or in order to prevent them from goaltending. Defence is where Air Alert made the most difference for me. They either had to box me out in order to stop me from goaltending, or try banking it in. I could sit low enough to the ground to defend outside players without losing speed. With a lower net, some players didn’t arc their shots as much, allowing me to swat them away with ease. There was nothing better than blocking a dunk. Some people took it personally, and would try coming at you on the next play; we all loved blocking Joseph. Still, the best was blocking Norm’s dunks, even if it meant landing on my back. It was summertime, the final game of the night, with uneven teams and lopsided match-ups, but, somehow, it’s neck and neck. Not only are we still in it, we’ve had the lead. Will is shooting, Nathan is hustling, and I’m blocking everything. My greatest defensive game ends prematurely after I block one of Norm’s dunks, landing horizontally, with all of my weight squarely on my tailbone and elbows. I call it a night, and, in the morning, learned that we had lost immediately after I left. At this point, I had memorized Air Alert’s number of sets and routines, and so I lent the DVD to Graham. He promised to return it soon. This was in 2010. I learned how to juggle that August, but that didn’t save me either. I kept up my jumping exercises, doing week 4 as maintenance, losing consistency once I started university that fall. Dunkball slowly lost consistency, too, and so I eventually took up the reigns of organizing it. People changed wards, got married, moved, and started families. It was hard to motivate people to come out without a guarantee. At some point, I became one of the veterans. As Dunkball continued to lose consistency, and as I went through occasional bouts of burn-out withorganizing things, Dunkball changed from being year-round into seasons, and, later, patches, of activity. The benefit of being the one to organize Dunkball is that it allowed me to filter out the jerks between patches of activity. There aren’t a ton of rules, you can make a pass off the wall, you can charge, you can play it in the hall, and goaltending is a way of life, but life is too long to spend it with people who can’t play sports without yelling. We weren’t as athletic as we once were, but the new players were generally pretty skinny, so we were still able to push them around. I stopped buying bus passes after my first year of university, which helped me to maintain most of my leg strength. While I was in university, I managed to keep most of my vertical, but my confidence became precarious, which affected my intensity. I wasn’t soaking through my shirts anymore, I started to let people push me around. After I dropped out of university, I grew into a much more sedentary lifestyle. The leg strength I had used to define myself diminished. I’ve had a really hard coping with that. At times, the prospect of playing Dunkball felt more embarrassing than motivating. I felt lost out on the court. I didn’t feel strong enough to bump around in the key, and I felt sluggish trying to play on the outside. Still, I had now been around long enough that I was able to lead a team, if necessary. I’d hide from my refuge until I felt strong enough to return. Volunteering and winter each got me walking again. Collin organized a soccer team the summer before the pandemic, which got me running and jumping again. I felt more determined, and began to feel better. No longer trapped by where I was, or where I felt I should have been, I was content with making progress. I think that I handled the early months of the pandemic better than most people. With our usual routines in disarray, I stumbled out of the feedback loop I was caught in. Finding some self-compassion and focus, I created structure to my quarantine in order to work on some goals. I was going to come out of the quarantine dunking. I was joking this time, but I need to dream about something while exercising. Otherwise, I’m just jumping in place, staring at the door. I went through weeks 1-7 of Air Alert, ending with the rest week that marks the halfway point. After which, I returned to doing week 4 to maintain strength. With churches closed, activities cancelled, and others on lockdown, I started secretly meeting Nik on Saturdays to shoot the ball around. This was back when we were allowed to keep small circles of contacts. The benefit of having keys. The only downside was that the building didn’t have any air circulation outside of facilities management’s offices. Regarding the pandemic, our city still didn’t have any cases of community transmission. Two of us shooting the ball around became three, and soon we were playing 2-on-2. Dunkball was back, baby! Sans the titular Dunkball, which had gone missing, stolen by missionaries. I knew that it was only a matter of time before they got rid of the Academy chapel, so I was really motivated to play as much as we could while it was still safe. It took us a little bit before we managed to get six players out on the same day, and we still ended up playing 2’s some nights. We weren’t getting many guys out, but we always had good games. Everyone who came out hustled and was a solid atmosphere guy. We’d mostly play best-of-5 or 7 game series, maybe switching teams up for a final game or two. The series managed to stay pretty tight, with nobody ever reaching a dynasty. Facilities management leaves the building at 5:30, and, with nobody else around, our secret combination was free to schedule Dunkball whenever we pleased. We were playing twice some weeks. We were able to accommodate people’s schedule. Marvin, my favourite teammate, was able to come out. I hadn’t been able to play with him in years. A high percentage of our small group of players were relatively new to the game. It was really exciting to see them develop, even if Jason blocked me that one time. I had found my place again, having regained some of my leg strength and quickness. My core and upper-body strength, elusive at the best of times, had become memories, but I worked around that. My game is mostly designed with those absences in mind anyways. Consequently, my play became much more lateral, rather than vertical, after the 4th and, later, 5th game, as Collin noted. I also managed a new trick or two, like learning to bait people into banking their shot, and then blocking it off of the backboard for a quick turnover. My intensity was up, or at least the A/C was down. I was soaking through my shirts again, and I was happy. It was a hot and humid summer. I missed Jason’s birthday, so I brought some blackout chocolate banana bread to celebrate. As it turns out, a thick moist cake is not refreshing when you’re exhausted and sitting around in a hot and stuffy room you’ve spent the past 2-3 hours further heating up with yer friends. Collin became the MVP the following week when he brought a box of freezies with him. All my life, I had never seen their true worth or potential. I took them for granted in my youth, and turned my nose up at them as I grew older. Now I understood. I had Dunkball, I had friendly players who responded when I tried organizing things, we had freezies, and, as the Ward Clerk, I had convinced my Bishop that we should buy a new ball (despite the fact that playing at the Church was still verboten.) I was grateful, but I still longed for a day where we had more than 4-6 players, so that we could have subs between games. It’s nice to be able to switch up teams between games, rather than trying to push Arles all night. It’s even nicer to sit down every once in a while, especially after failing to push Arles around. Our province was still fairly safe, but that was beginning to change. Two regulars had at risk family members, and we began seeing community transmission. I planned to end what was to be the penultimate season of Dunkball after Labour Day. I was concerned what would happen once the school year started. Before then, we had eight* people come out to Dunkball one morning. Four pairs of family members, in fact. This gave us rotations between games, and a variety of playing styles, leading to more interesting match-ups and dynamics. Whoever loses would get to take a break; excitement was in the air! I questioned Collin’s choice of shoes. He reminded me that I’m solely responsible for their condition. I lend Collin my shoes. He likes the shoes, and I like his freezies. *the ideal amount is 8-9 people Shoot for teams: Graham, Collin, and I hit our shots. Collin has speed, Graham has range and strength, I have the height, and we all rebound. We win the first game easily, manage to survive the second, and win our third. Dynasty! Shoot for teams again, and I’m back on the floor with David and Marvin. David anchors the key, allowing me to cheat on defence, while Marvin generates offence and creates mismatches. We all defend. Three more wins, and it’s another dynasty! Marvin and I sit this time, and watch as Jacob (handles), Graham, and Jason (positioning) steal the game. Marvin and I go back on with Limhi, a guard heavy team playing an post-player’s game. They shoot and pass, drawing out the defence, while I set picks, prevent goaltending, and try to clean up on the boards. They cover the outside, while I guard the inside. When the other team goes to the inside, I make their post-player turn away from the net, where either Marvin or Limhi, cheating off of their man, are waiting to strip them of the ball. We win the first game, taking back the floor. They carry me through the second. Last game of the day, and the other team starts to fall apart. As per tradition, we extend the game, but only to to 15, because only Graham and I want to play to 21. We stumble as they regroup, but Jacob gets frustrated, and their chemistry falters. I assume that I’m to blame, become self-conscious, and begin calling fouls on myself whenever I make any contact with the other team. Of course, this happens on every play, because I’m trying to box out my brother. I get some weird looks as David sighs, he just wants it to be over. I get a clean stop, Limhi scores, and the day ends on a third dynasty. I remain undefeated. Freezies for everyone! That was the third to last time we played Dunkball. We had another night with six players, and ended the season with a morning of playing 2-on-2, after which we ran out of freezies. I was optimistic that we’d be back playing sometime in the New Year. We barely registered a first wave of the pandemic, but restrictions ended prematurely, and school started back up. Cases kept climbing. I was scared in October, but that was only the beginning. When we first started playing Dunkball that summer, our province was first in the country. By Christmas, we had become the worst. We began to curb the number of new cases, but restrictions were eased before hospitals finished dealing with the second wave. In May, we began transferring patients to other provinces. For some reason, the plan is to reopen in July. For some reason, a duo tried organizing ball in March. I declined. Our congregation was changing buildings, so Nik and I went over to grab some stuff. I found that our Dunkball had gone missing again, but I found the original Dunkball, which hasn’t held air since 2015, and brought it home. In April, facilities management began clearing out the Academy chapel, in anticipation of listing the building for sale. They didn’t inform our Bishop until later that week. He went over to pack anything worth keeping, only to have found that they had already junked everything belonging to our congregation, as well everything belonging to the Yazidi community group that had been meeting there prior to the pandemic. I don’t know the building’s current status. Nik and I kept our keys in the hopes of playing again, but it’s unlikely that things will be safe to go back to normal in time. Dunkball exists as a time and a place: Thursday nights after Institute class at Academy. Last fall, they moved institute classes over to the stake centre. The Academy building is being sold now, and Dunkball is over as we know it. As I previously mentioned, I lent Graham, the Gordie Howe of Dunkball, my Air Alert DVD and booklet back in 2010. For the past ten years now, he has meant to return it, only for it to slip his mind. I usually forget about it, myself, only for him to remind me when he apologizes. In the moment, I sorta feel guilty that he worries about it. I mean, it’s fine, I don’t need it. He’s put it on his desk, he’s placed it by the door, and though he’s either seen me or a member of my family at least once a week for the past decade, my copy of Air Alert still hasn’t made its way back to me. I’m not even sure that I want it back, but I appreciate his sincerity. It’s become tradition for him to maintain this false tension between us. At this point, I’d hate to see it go. What if this tension is what’s sustained our friendship throughout all these years? What if Graham’s only been coming out to Dunkball because he feels guilty? I won’t see him at Dunkball anymore, and, as of this week, he won’t be seeing me at church anymore. It’s things like this that keep us alive. I hope that Graham never returns my copy of Air Alert, but I hope that he always tries. ”There is no end to matter, There is no end to space, There is no end to Dunkball, There is no end to race.” - If You Could Hie to Kolob Dunkball, by W.W. Phelps.

I could have gone on about my legs, honestly. Now, I only included those formative texts that I’m willing to admit are still a part of me. I did not include those works whose influences I feel that I have repented of, which is why the 1967 Patterson-Gimlin footage of Bigfoot from Bluff Creek, California, The Weezer Video Capture Device, Newsies, The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny, nor anything related to Dorm Life or MST3K are not included on my ballot. In any case, I’m sorry not to have found room for Johnny Guitar.

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