#I’ve made a discovery today/yesterday

[ifwebefriends]

“Oh look at that! A short little video essay on YouTube about a movie I liked as a kid! Maybe I should watch that movie again…”

*15 hours later*

“What do you mean that there’s a spiritual successor to Rise of the Brave Tangled Dragons and it’s mostly goth/nerdy tweens from 2000s-era experimental Disney movies?!”

[fluffy-lee-boa]

Squealing Santa 2k23

Of Buddies and Bros (a barbieverse tickle fic)

Fandom: Barbie (2023)

Characters: Ken and Allan

A/N: Hello @sweettallahassee! It is I, your secret santa >:3 I was so excited to get this assignment- The world could definitely use some more Barbie t fics. Especially ones with Allan. I really hope you like it! I saw the words “cheer-up tickles” and was possessed to write way more than I anticipated haha. Happy Holidays!

This was super fun, and I can’t wait to participate again, since this was my first time and now I think I’ve really got a handle on things. Thank you so much to @squealing-santa !!!

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

It had been a good amount of time since Stereotypical Barbie had left Barbie Land altogether, with Allan having become Ken’s closest confidant and friend from there on out. It was a pretty surprising change, and one that took some getting used to, as Allan had been used to being number 3 in a world of couples. But now? Well, it was practically his job to stick by Stereotypical Ken, and help him along his journey in self-discovery. Help him find some sort of identity outside of “Beach” and Barbie.

Unfortunately, Ken was very much still attached to both Beach and Barbie, to the point that it was a real hindrance on any progress being made in that department.

Allan knew it must have been hard for the guy, so he wasn’t annoyed or frustrated. More concerned, really. I mean, even with all the changes that had come to Barbie Land, every Ken still had their Barbie. Every Ken… except for his Ken.

His Ken? Ok, that was a weird thought. Better to just ignore it and move on. Narrations could be tricky sometimes, and he of all people knew that.

But either way! He was here to help. Be a buddy, whatever that meant.

It had been another perfect, beautifully sunny day, one in which Allan had been trying and failing to get Ken out of bed. Ken had begun staying in Stereotypical Barbie’s old place, as it was vacant, and already had quite a lot of Mojo Dojo Casa House decor, including the “manly” fur coat that Ken had draped over himself as a makeshift blanket as he grumbled about being woken up.

“Ken, come on.” Allan sighed, tugging at the end of the coat lightly but firmly, “We already told Pilot Barbie we’d be ready for your skydiving lesson at noon, we can’t miss that, or it’ll throw off our whole schedule. Remember? We even had a quick stop at the beach to try surfing again…!”

Allan had been meticulously planning their days filled to the brim with activities that might lead to Ken finding his true passion. Usually Ken was pretty gung-ho about the whole thing, but today seemed to be an off day. It was probably because yesterday he’d tried acting, and instead of impressing Director Barbie with his stunning talent, he’d ended up really crying for about an hour and they weren’t able to get any good footage out of it.

So here they were, at a stalemate in Barbie’s old bedroom.

Allan considered his option, his mind cycling through possibilities. He could simply rip the fur off of him to force him up, but that sounded harsh, and Ken needed a gentle touch right now.

Wait a minute.

Gentle… touch.

That gave him an idea!

So after a second more of contemplating if the possibility of revenge was worth it, Allan made his first move. He was just lucky enough that Ken’s leg happened to be sticking out from the bed, giving him the perfect opportunity to put his plan into motion. He pushed aside any hesitation and lurched forward, putting the other’s foot in what was essentially a headlock and sitting at the end of the bed.

“Wha- HEY-!” Ken was instantly sitting up, the coat having fallen away to reveal a particularly pink set of pajamas that would have matched with Barbie perfectly had she still been around.

“Sorry, but you wouldn’t get out of bed, so…” Allan shrugged, trying to suppress a smile as he utilized a persuasive skill Barbie Land had only picked up on when they last interacted with the real world- Tickling.

It wasn’t entirely new to them, of course, but the concept of a tickle *fight* was something so novel that it had been on Allan’s mind ever since Barbie had left, and this was as good an excuse as any to start one.

“AH- AhAhAllan! You can’t-!”

“Can’t what, help my buddy cheer up?” Allan teased as he scribbled away at the little divots in between his toes, though before he could say anything further, there was a flurry of movement that was too fast for him to catch in the moment.

When Allan next opened his eyes, he found that Ken was now firmly rested on top of him, holding both his arms above his head in one hand. Curse his stereotypically large and admirable muscles- there was no escaping such a grasp.

“No… I was gonna say you can’t expect me not to fight back,” Ken replied after he’d caught his breath with a more confident smirk this time, his free hand hovering over Allan’s unfortunately unbuttoned beach top menacingly.

“Whoa! Ken, heyyy, we can talk this out!” Allan babbled the moment he realized the predicament he was in, sinking into the softness of the bed below them with a nervous, borderline awkward laugh, “I was just- trying to get you up! And you’re up now! We can go!”

“Mmm. I don’t think that’s gonna work for me,” Ken’s hand was getting dangerously close to his ribs, which made Allan start squirming without him having even touched him yet.

“In fact… You were right, buddy. This is cheering me up already,” Ken added smugly, before his gently clawed his hands back and forth over his lower ribs like he was trying to feel every gap and ridge in his rib cage.

Allan immediately burst into frantic giggles that resembled a bird of paradise making alarm calls- they were by no means graceful or dignified, but there was no arguing it, they were adorable. There was even an interspersing of snorts and yelps that kept things fresh whenever Ken wandered a little lower down to vibrate his fingertips across his barely-visible abs. Speaking of which…

“WAIT NONONONO-!”

Ken’s eyebrows raised when Allan’s protests spiked, and he realized he must be getting close to a goldmine. He kept that same goofy smile, the one he always had when he was proud of himself for figuring something out. If Allan could focus on it, he’d probably melt, but he was too busy being reduced to breathless laughter as he begged for what seemed to be his life.

But what spot exactly might be causing such a reaction?

Well, as Ken was already quite pleased with his deduction skills, he was sure he’d figured it out. So he let his hand drift farther down, lightly tracing a line with the spider-like movement of his fingers to his upper belly. Aaaand Bingo.

“KEHEN!” Allan barked, attempting to fold in on himself like a beach chair.

Ken knew this spot must be the absolute worst for him, so he was careful not to take things too far. He kept his tickles light, and almost teasing, using his perfectly manicured nails to swirls little hearts and star shapes around his belly button, “Yeah, bro?”

Allan simply shook his head, eyes squeezed shut as he dug his heels into the bed as if to dispel some of the nerves. His open-mouthed laughter hadn’t let up much despite the change of pace, and his cheeks were now a bright shade of red. So Ken, being the kind and generous person he was, decided he’d had enough.

He slowed his movement to a stop, letting go of Allan’s wrists so he could prop himself up on his elbows above him with an affectionate smile. He rested his chin on the other’s chest, which made Allan tense up with the lightest of giggles at the way his stubble scratched at his topmost ribs.

“Feeheel any behehetter?” Allan managed to ask, looking down at him with a softer smile.

Ken thought about it for a moment before he hummed, his voice smooth and deep despite the strenuous battle, “Yeah. Definitely.”

Ken moved to stand up, hands on his hips as he looked out over Barbieland from their vantage point at the end of the block. To his surprise, Allan’s giddy laughter had caught the attention of quite a few neighbors, who gave him looks that came across as almost… relieved. Truth be told, everyone had been worried for Ken for some time now, but seeing, or more hearing, him be so carefree and mischievous, it was nice to see he hadn’t changed much.

Allan had to take a few more minutes to fully recover, though eventually he sat up with a deep breath, rolling his shoulders with a smile, “Gee. Remind me not to mess with you again.”

“Or- I dunno- maybe more often…?” Ken replied, his voice bordering on shy for once, “I wasn’t lying. It really did cheer me up, broski.”

And with that, Allan knew that he didn’t have anything to worry about after all. Ken was gonna be alright, even without Barbie, and even if the journey was longer than they anticipated. They would walk down that road together, wherever it was gonna take them. That’s what buddies are for.

[kirislovelygf]

our spot (kiri sully x fem! reader)

contents: first kiss, friends-to-lovers, for the girlypops, confession, gay girlies

2.7k words

part two here

｡･:*:˚✰

y/n is an explorer. she loves wandering the forest every day to collect things and watch the animals. she was never afraid of getting lost, even when she was a kid. now being fourteen, she knows most of the forest like the back of her hand.

and she always was up for an adventure to another area. today, she was jumping across the floating branches to go home to her tent hidden into the hallelujah mountains.

she had just finished a morning of collecting things for her best friend, and crush, kiri. she loves finding tiny knick-knacks that most people would just ignore.

but y/n payed attention. and she payed attention to the ones kiri would like. as she made it to camp and walked through the hidden village, a group of kids saw her and excitedly ran to greet her.

y/n crouched down to give them hugs. these specific kids, except for one, looked up to the teenager. whatever she did, they followed. whatever she said, they repeated, which often got her in trouble.

she’s like the big sister they never had. the one who already had a big sister was tuktirey. but she still loved y/n regardless.

“hello, my lovely little monkeys.” y/n smiled.

she had been calling them that since she recovered a book about earth animals and she saw how similar the kids were to the earth animal, the monkey.

“what’d you get for us?” one of them asked.

“yeah, what’d you bring?” another said, tugging at her arm.

y/n laughs and begins to dig through her bag.

“okay, here. a crystal for you…” she placed the pink crystal in a girl’s hand.

“..uhh this is.. i think the claw of an ikran.” she said while gently putting it in a boy’s hand.

he held it up and stared in awe.

“and for tuk, sweet little tuk, a found a new flower that grew in the mountains. here.” she placed it in tuk’s small hand.

the kids looked up at y/n. “thank you!!”

“this is so cool!”

“thanks so much!”

the teen smiled at their happy faces. “you’re welcome. now, go home. go.” she urged.

they ran together into the village but y/n pulled tuk aside before she could leave.

“hey, tuk.”

“yes?”

“uh, where’s your sister?” she asked.

“you mean your giirrrlfrienddd.” the girl teased.

y/n laughs while feeling herself blush.

“shh! i didn’t ask her yet, that’s our little secret, okay?” she laughs.

tuk giggled before turning to point at her family’s tent.

“she’s in there. all by herself.” she said.

“okay. thanks, little one.” y/n pats her head and gets up to visit the tent.

as she approached it, tuk yelled out, “and no kissing!”

y/n’s eyes widened and she ran as soon as she heard those words, hoping no one knew tuk was talking to her.

y/n finds her way to kiri’s family tent and calls out her name to make her presence known.

she pulls the flap away so she could walk in. kiri looks up with a smile. she picks herself up as y/n walks over to the girl. they hug like they haven’t seen each other in years.

they hung out yesterday.

they pull away and hold each others hands.

“i found some more things. let me show you.” y/n says.

kiri gasps softly and they sit down in the corner where she previously was.

y/n placed her bag in her lap and started digging through it.

“find any new places today?” kiri asks.

“not today. but i found these and picked them up because... i thought you’d like them.” she puts her three tiny discoveries in kiri’s palm.

kiri looks at them with admiration.

“this is a geode i found near a river. this is the shell of a crab i also found in the river..” she explained.

kiri then picked up a scale that was familiar to her.

“where did you find this?” she asks.

“i was up in the mountains. where the ikran live, and i found a scale that wasn’t like anything i’ve ever seen.” she says as kiri holds up the scale to the sunlight.

it was an iridescent color, every color of the rainbow blending together beautifully on kiri’s face. making her even more gorgeous than she already is to y/n.

“it’s so pretty.” kiri sighs softly.

y/n wasn’t even pretending to look at the scale.

she watched kiri’s curious expression “yeah, it is.” she muttered.

kiri looks down at y/n. she knew she wasn’t talking about the scale. knowing this, she looks down and gently puts the scale down on the floor.

“uh- they’re all very nice, y/n, thank you so much.” she says.

y/n feels her heart leap seeing how much kiri liked her gifts. kiri’s ears then perked up as she came up with an idea.

“hey, do you want to go somewhere tonight?” she asks.

y/n’s eyes widen a bit. “go where?”

“i don’t know. you’re the explorer.” she shrugs.

“huh.. well, i’ve been looking for a new place to swim. how about we look for it together?” she shrugs.

kiri smiled brightly at the suggestion. “yeah, let’s do it.”

“okay! wait, what about your father?” she says.

kiri frowned remembering how strict her dad was. he’d never let her out in the forest at night.

let alone just her and her crush.

“..i could ask my brothers to cover for me.” she shrugs.

“will they do it?” y/n asks.

“yeah. lo’ak does a bunch of stupid stuff and i’ll tell him if he won’t cover for me, i’ll tell my dad about them.” she says.

y/n laughs out. “you’re evil.”

she shrugs a shoulder. “he’ll be fine.”

the girl smiled at kiri before standing up.

“i’ll see you tonight. meet me by the fishing pond at midnight”

｡･:*:˚✰

kiri wanders through the dark forest, only having the glowing plants to guide her way.

she makes it to the pond where y/n asked to meet.

she doesn’t see her at first but then spots her, hidden behind a plant. she was sitting on her knees, crouching over the pond with her hands in the water.

she was giggling while her fingers danced around the tiny glowing fish.

kiri admired her state for a moment before y/n heard her footsteps.

she looks up and smiled at kiri. “hey! come on, let’s go find somewhere to swim.”

kiri follows y/n as she swung from branch to branch and jumped from boulder to boulder.

y/n was used to doing parkour everyday but kiri was more of a stay-at-home type teenager. she’s used to being agile through the forest but only when it’s necessary.

y/n does this for fun.

the only thing that kept kiri going was y/n’s nicknames.

“keep up, pretty girl!”

“getting tired, cutie?”

y/n stopped at a giant oak tree and was about to climb it. she turned to see if kiri was behind her.

“wait.. ugh- we have to climb that?”

“no. but it’s more fun if we do.” y/n smiled.

she started to climb the tree as kiri groaned.

“she’s lucky i like her so much.” she mumbled as she put her foot on a vine.

they slowly made their way up the tree until they reached a branch large and strong enough for them to walk on.

y/n tip-toe’d on the wooden branch and spotted a glowing body of water in the distance. kiri caught up to y/n on the branch and looked at whatever the girl was pointing at.

“oouu, pretty.” she sighed out.

“i bet it’s prettier up close. come on.” y/n turns and her face ends up just a few inches away from kiri’s.

the girls look at each other for longer then they meant before y/n looks down.

kiri awkwardly looked back at the trunk and made her way down with y/n close behind,

the girls ended up walking to, what they think is, a lake.

“so what did lo’ak say when you asked him to cover for you?” y/n asked her as they started to walk away from the tree they just climbed.

“he was very angry. but he and neteyam ended up agreeing anyway.” kiri laughed.

y/n laughs with her. “lo’ak is such a hothead.” kiri sighs. “just like my dad.”

“what do you think he will say if he finds out?” she asked her.

“he won’t, i swear. he’ll probably be on a date with my mom and will come home after i come back in the middle of the night.” she said.

“hm..”

“what about what your dad might say?” kiri asks.

y/n laughs. “my dad’s asleep right now. and once he sleeps, he wont wake up until the sun tells him to.”

the girls laugh together before looking up.

y/n sees the glow of the lake hidden behind bushes and starts to jog. kiri keeps up and jogs behind her.

the girls eventually find a lake, or more of a pool, about as big as her family tent. it was connected to a giant boulder, where the water must have came from.

the water ran down a series of rocks, acting like a waterfall. along the edges of the lake were glowing plants that provided light other than the bioluminescent plants underwater.

“wow.. kiri, we found it!” y/n exclaimed.

she starts to search her bag while y/n takes several steps back.

“i have a map we can mark this on.. uhh.” she pulled out a folded paper from her bag before she heard y/n’s running steps.

she looks at her as she zoomed past her, jumping into the lake and splashing water all over kiri.

she turned her body as to not get water on the map.

she laughs as she looks back at y/n, now floating while wiping her face.

“come on, you’re not gonna to make me swim all by myself, are you?” y/n smiled, the reflection of the water making her dark blue skin glow.

kiri’s heart pounded and she started to stutter out an answer but figured it was easier to just put her stuff down somewhere.

she puts her map into her bag and puts it behind the trunk of a tree so it wouldn’t get wet.

she then slipped into the cool water and swam toward y/n.

they were able to stand and their heads and part of their chest was above the surface.

“wasn’t all that running worth it?” y/n says. she takes both of kiri’s hands and lets her float toward her.

kiri’s heart pounded even faster. “sure. yeah, of course it was.” she sighed out.

the girls hands go to the back of kiri’s neck, where her fingers interlocked.

kiri was nervous enough as it is. where in the world can she put her hands?

her waist? oh god no.

her neck? gateway to a kiss. and she was way too nervous to kiss.

her arms seemed like a safe option. kiri’s hands went to rest on her arms and the girls floated peacefully while hanging onto each other.

these two have been friends for almost their entire lives. and they’ve been helplessly in love with each other since they met.

but they’re idiots for not figuring it out yet.

but the reason kiri invited y/n here tonight was to finally confess after her siblings have been pestering her about it for years.

“y/n..”

“hm?”

“you’re not.. uhm.. you aren’t dating anyone at the moment, are you?” kiri asked.

“what? no. i- if i were with someone, you’d be the first to know.” y/n laughs.

“oh, okay. that’s good.”

“i guess. but my dad has been talking about finding someone.”

kiri’s heart drops. “really?”

“yeah. but all the guys in the clan.. eh.” she shrugs.

kiri laughs.

“well, you don’t have to be with a boy.” kiri says, thinking she was being so smooth.

but y/n quickly picked up on what she was trying to do when she asked about dating.

“you’re right. the girls in our clan are nice too.” y/n said, smiling softly.

they admire each other for a moment.

“what about you? is there anyone who has there eye on you? or anyone you have your eye on?” she asks.

there was so much going through kiri’s mind as hers and y/n’s faces grew close.

“yeah, actually. there is.” kiri said.

y/n’s heart skips a beat. “and you haven’t told me? wow, some best friend.” she joked.

kiri tried to give an excuse while y/n laughs.

“y/n!”

“i’m kidding! you’re the best. okay, tell me.” she sighed.

kiri sighs out, trying to gain some confidence to the say the right thing.

“well uhm.. i like a girl. she’s very nice and..”

“mhm?”

“and she’s uhm.. i’ve known her for very long.”

y/n was honestly growing bored with how long kiri was taking to say it was her.

she figured it out when she mentioned that she was interested in a girl.

“kiri?”

“uh, yes?”

y/n floats closer.

“i think i know who you’re trying to say.” she says softly.

her eyes widen. “oh.”

y/n’s heart is pounding. she wanted kiri to say her name so bad.

“but i need you to say it. because i can’t know for sure until you say it.” she said softly.

the girls became lost in each others eyes. kiri was barely able to get the words out. or any words out for that matter.

she was starting to panic, about to jump out of the water, but reminded herself of how much fun she had with her tonight. her best friend, the girl she’s known, and loved, for seven years.

and who knows her better than anyone.

“it’s you, y/n.”

as she said her name, the world around them dissolved. all of kiri’s nerves melted away in an instance.

y/n smiles. a part of her was relieved that kiri said her name and didn’t unexpectedly mention another girl.

“i like you, y/n. very much.”

“i like you too, kiri. very much.” she said, laughing a bit.

kiri sighs in relief. “that’s good. i was afraid i was going to embarrass myself.”

y/n laughs as her head falls on kiri’s shoulder. kiri’s arms wrap themselves around y/n. she interlocked her hands and pulled her close.

her head picks up and she stares up at kiri.

her hands find her way to kiri’s face and she holds it. she gently pulls her face towards hers before they finally kiss.

they finally kiss after years of the agonizing wait.

kiri’s heart was jumping out of her chest and y/n was just so happy to finally do what she’s dreamed of doing for years.

she could barely stay afloat with how weak she felt in the knees.

they smiled into another kiss before the sound of a twig snapping caused them to rapidly pull away from each other, out of fear that it was someone they knew.

and it was. not someone, but some people. jake and neytiri had just found the pool and caught their daughter making out with someone in the dead of night.

kiri sighed out. “dad-”

“get your stuff and let’s go.” he ordered in a low tone.

kiri looks to her mother. there wasn’t convincing either of them.

kiri glanced at y/n before swimming to the edge of the pool and climbing out. jake didn’t wait for her.

neytiri watched as she climbed up and grabbed her bag from the tree.

y/n climbs out too and sits on a rock while watching kiri and all away with her dad.

neytiri looks at y/n. she didn’t want, and was not about, to leave the girl alone in the forest in the dark.

she goes over to jake to talk to him. if anyone can convince him of something, it’s her. they began to argue over whether they would bring y/n home or not.

jake was more than happy to leave her for any animal that was looking for a snack.

“she’s still a child, we cannot leave her here.”

“i could honestly care less. i’m tired and stressed out. she can find her own way back” jake argued.

“jake.” neytiri glared at her husband

he looks down at her and then at y/n. he rolls his eyes.

“fine. but she’s riding with you.” he muttered.

neytiri walks away from her husband and he ordered kiri to climb onto his ikran.

“let’s go, I’m taking you home.” she said, softly but sternly.

y/n looks up and hesitantly picks herself up off the rock while gently wringing the water from her hair.

“okay..”

“let’s go.” she ordered,

she started walking to her ikran and y/n quickly followed.

they fly the girls back home in dead silence. kiri was especially silent, afraid to even breathe a certain way as to not upset her father even more.

as they flew over the forest canopy and the mountains, kiri couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss. she replayed the moment over and over again on her head.

she was so happy, she almost didn’t care that she’d most likely be grounded for a year for sneaking out. and then having her brothers lie to her dad about it.

｡･:*:˚✰

[commentaryvorg]

The Great Ace Attorney Final Trial Commentary: Day 2, Part 1

This is an ongoing mini-commentary covering the final trial of The Great Ace Attorney (Resolve) in line-by-line detail. It’s written from a perspective of already knowing the full truth of things, so there will be spoilers for facts that only get revealed later on in the trial. This is not a commentary to read along with one’s first playthrough!

(The commentary will update on Tuesdays and Saturdays. Check this blog to find any other parts currently posted, and if it’s not yet finished, follow to catch future updates!)

Now that we’re below the readmore, I can add that this isn’t quite a commentary for everything going on in the final trial. It’s focused specifically on Kazuma and what’s going on in his head, only covering things which are relevant to him in some way (for the most part). I already had a lot to say about him in a big analysis post over on my main blog – but I have even more to say about him during the trial in even more detail, so here we are!

We’re starting day 2 here, aka the first trial day of case 2-5.

Writing the commentary for this day of the trial is going to feel a little odd for me, because I’ve essentially already done it before – just in character as Ryunosuke, instead of as myself. This was a chapter in my AU fic in which this trial day goes off the rails towards the end and Kazuma gets arrested for Gregson’s murder, because he should have been and I am forever salty that it didn’t happen in canon. The purpose of the chapter in the fic, even though it was 90% retreading canon events, was to utilise all the existing buildup the game had that made it seem like things were headed in that direction, so that my AU could actually deliver the payoff it deserved to have. There are so many really good bits that would be so delightful if they were foreshadowing what was going to happen to Kazuma, except for the fact that they aren’t. I am going to be compelled to point all of these out and grumble about them here.

Here's one to get us started, just as Ryunosuke heads into the courtroom.

Ryunosuke:  (Today I battle with another in pursuit of the truth. My best friend, Kazuma Asogi, who I trust more than anyone else in the world.)

Like, yes, this is adorable in and of itself, that Ryunosuke still trusts Kazuma that much even after the way he’s been acting since he came back. But! Imagine how much juicier this line would be if it was followed by Ryunosuke getting Kazuma arrested for murder! That is absolutely what I thought it existed to foreshadow on my first playthrough and asghjkghjdghjdfs.

Stronghart:  “Yesterday’s proceedings brought to light a shocking and disturbing fact: There was a side to the victim, Inspector Tobias Gregson, that was unknown to his superiors at Scotland Yard.” Kazuma:  “Yes, he was carrying out operations in secret, which Scotland Yard knew nothing about.” Stronghart:  “And in those clandestine operations, he had an accomplice.” Kazuma:  “Mr Daley Vigil, who would be given the inspector’s identification…”

During what is supposed to be Kazuma’s opening statement, Stronghart is having just as much if not more of a part in it, and they’re both practically finishing each other’s sentences. (Here is just one example of their tandem speech extremely coming across this way.) Clearly Stronghart, who is determined to keep Kazuma in line after his shenanigans with Vigil yesterday, firmly instructed him on what he was supposed to talk about, and apparently they may have even spent a while rehearsing this speech together. No wonder Kazuma wasn’t surprised to see Stronghart here at the judge’s bench today.

Stronghart:  “Which brings us to the crucial issue of the victim’s time of death. The defence yesterday proposed a suggestion that the victim may have been killed one day earlier. This was based largely on the discovery that the victim’s pocket watch had not been wound.”

Not really! It was also based equally if not more so on the scorch marks on the candle, which have still not been explained as anything other than evidence that a gun was never fired there at all. But nah, Stronghart is just as happy to draw attention away from that as Kazuma is.

(Since he knows the full truth of the murder, Stronghart is also the only person who may be aware of the even more damning evidence that proves a gun could not possibly have been fired in the Fresno Street room. But he’s especially not going to draw any attention to that.)

Kazuma:  “The prosecution has something to report on that subject, My Lord.” Stronghart:  “Really? Go ahead, Prosecutor Asogi.”

Geez, look at him acting like he wasn’t expecting Kazuma to bring this (the autopsy report) up at all and this definitely wasn’t all rehearsed and planned out.

Stronghart:  “But the official opinion of the investigation team was made clear yesterday. That the time of death was 5 p.m. on 1st November.” Kazuma:  “There are indications of an attempt to disguise the real time of death, however. It seems that the natural decaying process of the victim’s body may have been slowed by keeping it chilled.” Stronghart:  “That’s out of the question.”

Stronghart apparently also elected to put himself on the “nope it’s definitely impossible” side of this little scripted exchange. In reality, the entire first testimony we’re about to have is to examine the possibility that Gregson was killed the day before, and that testimony was very obviously Stronghart’s idea, so he was perfectly okay with this avenue being explored! (because he intends it to end either with nothing substantial or with apparent proof that van Zieks did it anyway.)

Kazuma:  “It’s conceivable that he was killed in the course of his secret activities.” Stronghart:  “Do I sense that the prosecution has some information regarding those activities?”

Gasp, look at Stronghart’s amazing sixth sense to pick up on this, and not at all that he blatantly knew Kazuma was about to bring this up because he told him to, nope, nothing suspicious here.

Honestly, this is all remarkably brazen, but I guess since Stronghart has a licence to do whatever the heck he wants, he doesn’t care how obvious it looks because nobody’s going to call him out for it anyway.

(Also, look at Kazuma acting like he’s entertaining the idea that Gregson was killed during his secret outing on the 31st, when really he hasn’t entertained that at all because it was definitely van Zieks, okay.)

Kazuma:  “Scotland Yard put an enormous effort into investigating that precise matter yesterday. I think we should begin by presenting the results of that investigation work.”

Once again, note Kazuma’s avoidance of giving a direct answer to Stronghart’s question. He sure does have some first-hand information about Gregson’s real secret activities that day, but he phrases his response in a way that shifts the focus onto something he knows full well is a red herring. Again, he is so good at doing this without actively lying.

--- Testimony 1 ---

Ryunosuke:  “Smuggled goods?!”

Ryunosuke is quite surprised to hear this brought up out of nowhere – as he should be. It seems he can already tell on some level that this is a complete wild goose chase that has nothing to do with the actual case.

Spare a thought for Kazuma, who gives us a summary of the smuggling case and must have spent some time researching this information to recite it in court, while knowing this is irrelevant and fully intending to throw it all out the first chance he gets.

Kazuma:  “There’s no question: the accused, Barok van Zieks, was present.” […] Kazuma:  “In short, Lord van Zieks had ample opportunity to murder the victim.”

Kazuma looks very smug about suggesting that van Zieks could easily have murdered Gregson at the gentleman’s club… even though he knows for a fact that couldn’t have happened. Granted, he’s intending to throw all this out by revealing what Gregson was really doing that day, but the fact that he’s looking so smug about the idea that this irrelevant point throws even more suspicion onto van Zieks is a bit much. Kazuma, please.

(This is one of the very rare instances of Kazuma referring to him as “Lord van Zieks”, incidentally! I… can’t think of any specific reason why this one might be an exception, alas. Guess he just ever-so-occasionally slips up and falls back into habits from his amnesiac days.)

Ryunosuke:  “But I was hoping to find out the name of the club.” Kazuma:  “That won’t be necessary.” Ryunosuke:  “What?” Kazuma:  “It’s conceivable that the club might be used again by the smugglers in future. Therefore… the prosecution has been asked not to reveal the name in these proceedings.”

Note Kazuma’s wording here – he has been asked not to reveal the name of the club. It’s not actually his decision, and he doesn’t actually want to hide that information. He’s just putting up a token amount of resistance here, presumably because Stronghart instructed him to, but he’s bound to be trusting that Ryunosuke will keep pushing. And when he does…

Stronghart:  “The prosecution is rightfully exercising caution, I imagine.” Kazuma:  “……… No, My Lord. The prosecution has no objection.” Stronghart:  “…!” Ryunosuke:  “Kazuma?”

Too bad, Stronghart – turns out, as the lead prosecutor on the case, Kazuma gets the final say whether you like it or not.

Ryunosuke also has an interesting little reaction there, like he’s surprised at Kazuma suddenly changing his tune, or perhaps relieved to see an indication of his friend acting on his own terms and not what he’s been ordered to do.

Kazuma:  “There’s no question that Inspector Gregson was looking into these black market dealings. However… it’s not yet been established that he was on that particular trail on the day in question.”

And here he goes, opening up the possibility that Gregson wasn’t there that day at all, to allow Ryunosuke room to prove it, despite what Stronghart wants.

One incidental thing to note here is that Ryunosuke is now addressing Kazuma with his given name in court, and will continue to do so for the rest of the trial, even though he was calling him “Prosecutor Asogi” in the trial yesterday. Perhaps it’s got something to do with the conversation they had in Kazuma’s office yesterday afternoon, the first thing even vaguely close to a proper conversation between friends that they’ve had since Kazuma’s return. It seems like that closed the distance between them just slightly, enough for Ryunosuke to internalise that this is still Kazuma, albeit a Kazuma with a lot of unexpected emotional baggage, and start instinctively defaulting to calling him by the more familiar name again even in court. (Although this must be on a pretty subconscious level, since we still had Ryunosuke in that scene outwardly telling Kazuma that he’s changed.)

Ryunosuke:  “The Grouse? What sort of a club is that?” […] Kazuma:  “They’re not places where a foreign student like you would be readily admitted.” Ryunosuke:  “Have you looked into the mirror recently?”

I love the way Kazuma tries to project his foreign student status onto Ryunosuke alone. Kazuma is above that, right? He’ll definitely be taken more seriously by the British judiciary and not be written off because he’s “just a foreign student”, won’t he…?

Ryunosuke:  “As I understand it, they’re places where well-to-do gentlemen socialise with friends and colleagues.” Kazuma:  “Don’t imagine for a second that a foreign student like you would be admitted.” Ryunosuke:  (Seriously, is your mirror cracked or something?)

And he does it again, just a few lines later. His particular hypocritical insistence on this just really delights me, which led to me figuring out what it’s implying about his feelings on his own foreign-student status.

Stronghart:  “If it wasn’t a gentleman’s club… then what was it?” Ryunosuke:  “…A steamship.” Kazuma:  “You think… it’s a ship…?”

There’s a subtle screen-shake on Kazuma’s line there, which I like, as it implies an undercurrent of something more going on in his head. He knows it was a ship, and on the one hand he must be glad and proud that Ryunosuke’s zeroing in on the real truth… and yet also perhaps a little worried what that might end up revealing about him.

(After all, Kazuma may well not have been expecting Ryunosuke to prove this much, since this isn’t just proving it wasn’t at the club, but also proving where it really was. He can’t have imagined Ryunosuke would randomly have Mikotoba’s steamship ticket on him in order to cross-reference the ship’s name.)

Kazuma goes on to argue that it couldn’t have been the SS Grouse because it hadn’t docked in Britain yet on the day in question. He has to feel kind of torn about putting up resistance to this, too – on the one hand he wants Ryunosuke to prove the smuggling irrelevant so that he can reveal what Gregson was really up to and is just saying this to make Ryunosuke’s argument stronger, but on the other hand, perhaps a part of him doesn’t want Ryunosuke to prove how Gregson got onto that ship in Dunkirk (and that he brought someone else with him…)

Kazuma:  “Then show your evidence for that assertion!” Ryunosuke:  “…Very well.” Kazuma:  “…!”

Kazuma has an interesting little reaction here as Ryunosuke unflinchingly announces he’ll present his evidence. He’s got to have been expecting Ryunosuke to have something and not just be making things up, but perhaps he’s a little worried about exactly what he has and how damning for him it might end up being.

If you’re playing this part of the trial from chapter-select mode (like I’m doing right now for this commentary), the Court Record will assume you haven’t yet examined Gregson’s trunk to find the passport inside it. Which then makes the fact that I have to do so right now to be able to present the passport kind of awkward, because it will be a vital plot point very soon that Kazuma shouldn’t know that the passport was inside the trunk. So uh. Let’s just have Ryunosuke hide behind his bench to sneakily look at the trunk and take the passport out, Kazuma totally won’t see that, it’s fine.

(Of course, we can assume that canonically Ryunosuke took the passport out of the trunk at some point yesterday so that this isn’t an issue.)

Stronghart:  “What’s this? A passport for travel issued to the victim?” Kazuma:  “………”

Kazuma keeps himself poker-faced as the passport is presented. But as Ryunosuke shows that he’s very much figured out what it means…

Ryunosuke:  “…there’s a distinct possibility he wasn’t even in the country!” Kazuma:  “…!”

…he flinches back in shock. It’s a little bit of an odd delayed reaction, but I do think he’s realising here that Ryunosuke having seen that passport is a Bad Sign for him being able to keep his own dodgy actions hidden.

(And maybe he also remembers where Gregson was keeping the passport, so the fact that Ryunosuke has seen it means he’s also found a certain metal trunk that a very damning piece of evidence was left in…)

Kazuma:  “……… Ha ha ha ha ha hah! I’m impressed, Ryunosuke Naruhodo! I certainly didn’t expect you to get your hands on that passport.”

But Kazuma regains his composure pretty quickly, of course. He’s fine! He’s definitely fine and proud of his friend for figuring things out and just wasn’t expecting him to have seen the passport, hmmmm, nope, nothing suspicious about that specific point.

Ryunosuke:  “What? You mean… you knew about this?”

Meanwhile Ryunosuke is several steps behind those of us in the commentary who know everything Kazuma knows, and is only just catching onto the fact that Kazuma was aware of at least some of this all along. He seems pretty shocked here, presumably at realising that his friend was hiding information from him. He never openly picked up on any of the earlier hints at this – of which there were a lot – perhaps because he doesn’t want to think about how underhanded Kazuma’s capable of being.

Kazuma:  “The prosecution’s strategy for this trial has been laid down by the Crown prosecution office:”

Instead of directly answering this question, and also diverting the conversation entirely away from the matter of the passport before he gives too much away, Kazuma goes on to explain that this whole angle about smuggling was something he was ordered to do. He says it was from the Prosecutor’s Office, and I guess on a technical level it was, but let’s be real – it was Stronghart. Kazuma probably even knows this, given their blatantly rehearsed opening statement… but it seems like directly calling out Stronghart for this is not a risk he’s willing to take when there isn’t much reward for it.

Kazuma:  “I think the Prosecutor’s Office is trying to hide something.” Ryunosuke:  “What?!” Kazuma:  “And now that you’ve expertly disproven their assertion… I intend to reveal what I believe that something to be.” Stronghart:  “What are you playing at, Prosecutor Asogi?”

Stronghart is glaring at Kazuma, clearly Not Happy at him going against orders like this. Again: those orders were so obviously from him, especially since it was all to hide Gregson’s role as the Reaper’s tactician, which Stronghart in particular would quite like to keep hidden, thanks.

Kazuma:  “A courtroom is a forum for the truth, My Lord. Which is why it’s my duty to present all the facts, without exception.”

Kazuma’s entire speech here, and particularly these lines, really give the sense that he cares a lot about doing things honourably and without corruption in order to uncover the whole truth. Which, in principle, he does!

And yet. All the facts, without exception? He hasn’t exactly been keeping to the word of that, now, has he – and he still isn’t planning to.

Stronghart:  “Let me guess… This was your intention from the outset, wasn’t it?”

Of course it was; of course Kazuma wanted to reveal Gregson working for the Reaper, just to paint an even bigger picture of how completely terrible van Zieks is. It doesn’t take much for Stronghart to figure that Kazuma planned this all along, either. There was a bit in Stronghart’s office during yesterday’s investigation, in which Kazuma was being told off for going off the rails with Vigil in that day’s trial. Stronghart ordered him to stay in line next time, and he mentioned to Ryunosuke that if Kazuma continued not to, “I will be forced to take steps”. Apparently those steps amounted to “script his approach to the trial and oversee it as the judge to make sure he stays in line”. And of course he still didn’t, because Kazuma is stubborn and doesn’t bow to authority for the heck of it.

But like… surely Stronghart would have known there’d be a good chance Kazuma wasn’t going to behave, even being directly overseen like this? What further steps was he planning to take if (when) Kazuma inevitably didn’t?

…Apparently, the answer to this is “nothing at all (other than some displeased glares)”. So that whole mini plotline about this amounted to barely anything. I guess it gives Stronghart an excuse to be the judge for the final trial days, but honestly I wouldn’t have batted an eye at him doing that anyway, minor powerplay with Kazuma or no.

I’d thought, on my first playthrough, that Kazuma’s defiance here was going to lead to Stronghart realising he can’t control Kazuma and that he needs to get rid of him, therefore causing Stronghart to deliberately nudge things towards getting Kazuma arrested once the assassin thing is revealed a little later in the trial. It would have made perfect sense! Kazuma ought to be just as much if not more of a threat that Stronghart would want to get rid of than van Zieks is, given that he’s just proven himself uncontrollable and has a lot more reason to seek the truth about the Professor case than van Zieks does. But somehow, canonically, Stronghart just shrugs and decides, nah, getting rid of van Zieks is totally still the greater priority, for some reason, let’s just let things continue like this.

Grumble grumble Kazuma should have been arrested, look at how much sense it would have made.

(It isn’t even made at all clear why Stronghart is so determined to get rid of van Zieks in the first place. I’ve seen it suggested elsewhere that it’s because, what with him vying for promotion, he wants to put an end to the Reaper at last and pin it all on the poor convenient scapegoat so that none of it can be traced back to him. I guess that’s the most reasonable explanation, but it'd be nice if there was some proper indication of it somewhere in-story.)

Anyway yes, Kazuma dramatically announces that Gregson was on a mission for the Reaper that day.

Kazuma:  “The prosecution made an assertion in court yesterday:” Kazuma: [yesterday] “Inspector Gregson was investigating the identity of the Reaper. When he discovered the location of the man’s secret hideout… he was killed. As I’m sure everyone can imagine… by the Reaper’s hand!” Kazuma:  “But in reality… the truth is the opposite of that.”

He makes sure to clear up any confusion caused by his previous argument by citing it and pointing out it was incorrect. But conveniently, he doesn’t mention the fact that he already knew it was incorrect when he made it yesterday, because unlike the rest of the police force, he did not learn about Gregson working for the Reaper only yesterday afternoon.

Kazuma:  “Barok van Zieks never carried out any of the actual killings. Whenever the Reaper’s victims lost their lives, he always had a cast-iron alibi. Which tells us… that he must have had an accomplice.”

Sure, Kazuma, it definitely tells us that, because Barok van Zieks must definitely be the Reaper, no other possibility. This couldn’t possibly tell us that maybe van Zieks just isn’t actually the Reaper at all.

(Granted, he is thinking along the right lines, since the real Reaper mastermind also does not carry out the killings himself. He also just knows that to be a fact, since he’s had Gregson approach him as merely the Reaper’s tactician. But his logic for arguing this here is based entirely on his tunnel-visioned “van Zieks is definitely the Reaper” premise and not anything rational.)

Susato:  “We also arrived at the same conclusion, didn’t we? That Inspector Gregson was operating as the Reaper.”

You and Ryunosuke didn’t exactly “arrive at that conclusion”, though, Susato. Van Zieks told you that he’d figured it out during his investigations, and you believed his judgement, that’s all.

Ryunosuke:  “Barok van Zieks is not the Reaper!” Kazuma:  “A predictable response… from someone who’s advocating for the man.”

Nice mental deflection there, Kazuma. Ryunosuke’s totally only insisting this because it’s his job to as a lawyer, definitely not at all because he genuinely believes in van Zieks and he might be right to or anything, nope, no need to think about that possibility.

Ryunosuke argues that Gregson couldn’t have been acting as the Reaper on the Grouse because nobody was killed there.

Kazuma:  “…Pfft!” Ryunosuke:  “What’s so funny?” Kazuma:  “You’re right, of course. No suspicious deaths were reported on board that ship. But I think perhaps you’ve missed the point. That’s precisely why Inspector Gregson lost his life!”

It’s kind of painful how Kazuma seems to think this is amusing. Van Zieks murdering Gregson for the oh-so-terrible slight of not killing his target this one time is so obvious in Kazuma’s head that he snickers at the thought that Ryunosuke stumbled into helping him argue that.

Ryunosuke:  “What?!”

Understandably, Ryunosuke has no idea why Kazuma seems to think that makes sense, because it doesn’t.

Kazuma:  “There’s no question that Tobias Gregson was heavily involved in the Reaper’s activities. You may just be an apprentice, but if you’ve spent any time at Scotland Yard, you must have heard rumours…”

Rumours aren’t evidence, Kazuma! Granted, he also cited just a moment ago that Gregson’s secret notebook contains details of the assassination plots, which is actually evidence, but it is something that he tries to bring the rumours into it too. Perhaps it’s that he knows for a fact Gregson was part of the Reaper for reasons he can’t reveal without incriminating himself, so it’s frustrating him that he still can’t quite treat it as fact in court, leading to him trying to back it up in flimsy ways as well as solid ones. Alas, how much easier Kazuma’s job in this trial would be if he was just willing to incriminate himself.

--- Testimony 2 ---

Ryunosuke:  “I know Judge Jigoku! And I saw him the day before yesterday! Here in London! So I know for a fact that the man hasn’t been assassinated!” Kazuma:  “As I said… the Reaper failed.” Ryunosuke:  “Oh…” Kazuma:  “Gregson missed his chance to kill his mark and returned to British shores.”

One thing the narrative never properly discusses about Gregson’s mission here is… was he even supposed to kill his mark in the first place? Gregson was the tactician, not the actual assassin. It’s his job to investigate the marks and figure out the best opportunities to kill them, and then to pass that information onto the assassin who will do the actual deed. If Gregson goes on a trip to investigate a mark with an assassin in tow, surely that’s just an information-gathering mission? Surely Gregson himself would usually try not to be present during the actual killings?

Granted, that’s all moot in this instance since this was never a real Reaper mission, and actually Kazuma was sent along so that he would, in theory, kill Gregson, but still. I guess the narrative just never discusses this because it would unnecessarily complicate things. And clearly we cannot be bringing up any possible flaws in Kazuma’s very sensible logic here, right.

Kazuma:  “But the Reaper wouldn’t tolerate the mistake. So he killed the inspector… personally. The Reaper of course being the accused… Barok van Zieks!” Stronghart:  “It’s… an undeniably logical argument.”

It really isn’t!!!!! There are so many things wrong with this argument that it’s honestly kind of hilarious.

It’s ridiculous that the Reaper would get so mad at Gregson failing to kill the mark when he’s not even supposed to be the assassin – as I said, this was surely just an information-gathering mission if Gregson was there. Even if it wasn’t, the killing itself is still not Gregson’s job. The Reaper should be getting mad at Kazuma for failing, if anyone.

It’s also just ridiculous that the Reaper would go so far as to kill any henchman of his for one small mistake that didn’t actually have any negative consequences. Gregson can still try again, surely? Sometimes unexpected things come up that make assassinations not safe to go for without getting caught! If he killed his men for every tiny thing like this, he’d run out of men very quickly.

It's also ridiculous that the Reaper, a very careful serial killer who has kept himself hidden for ten whole years, would apparently carry out this retribution by shooting Gregson in a house in a populated street, thus immediately getting himself caught red-handed like the most bumbling criminal imaginable.

And of course, this entire argument hinges on the assumed premise that Barok van Zieks is the Reaper, something Kazuma has still not shown any proof for whatsoever.

And, even if we somehow take everything about this argument as solid, it still only “proves” a potential motive for van Zieks committing the crime! It does not prove that he did it!

But Kazuma realises none of this ridiculousness. No, of course van Zieks is so petty and vindictive as to murder his henchmen for one tiny mistake that isn’t really even part of their job, and of course he’s stupid and bumbling enough to get himself caught for it, and of course he is definitely the Reaper, because he is The Worst Person Ever.

Stronghart agreeing that this argument is logical is laughable – but then, Stronghart is apparently (for some unclear reason) still on the Let’s Get Van Zieks Convicted train, so he’s happy to agree with anything that’ll let him do that so long as nobody questions it.

Ryunosuke:  (Kazuma… You planned for the trial to go this way all along, didn’t you?)

Which even Ryunosuke isn’t doing! He’s only marvelling at Kazuma having planned this – if anything, the way he’s thinking this reads as if he feels cornered. He’s not at all considering that this is a terrible argument actually. I would side-eye his response to this the most, since he doesn’t have such a good excuse for being wrong as Kazuma or Stronghart, but… I suppose this just speaks to how much Ryunosuke idolises his best friend. It doesn’t occur to him to ever expect Kazuma’s arguments to be flawed, because Kazuma’s the best at what he does, right?

I love the sheer audacity of van Zieks striding up to the witness stand during his own trial and slamming his leg on it to express his displeasure at the bullshit going on. It’s so very him. And I really can’t blame him right now.

Kazuma:  “The accused has no right to speak uninvited in court. You will return to the dock.”

Kazuma is Not Happy. He may have been fine with calling van Zieks to testify unnecessarily yesterday, but in that instance, he was in control and was doing so to prove van Zieks to be a terrible liar. Can’t have van Zieks speaking out of turn and saying things that might make people think he’s not a horrible person.

Also, one little detail I enjoy during this bit is that the angle of Kazuma’s eyeline in his poses while he’s addressing van Zieks is just slightly lower than normal. It gives the subtle sense that he’s not looking van Zieks in the eye. Of course he wouldn’t want to do that.

Van Zieks:  “That girl is no detective.” […] Van Zieks:  “Repeating rumours heard around the Yard… Reading entries from a notebook of unconfirmed origin… That’s not testimony. It’s practically a script. No doubt the rest of this trial will go exactly as you’ve clearly planned.”

Van Zieks is essentially accusing Kazuma of being corrupt, of having rigged the entire trial to get him convicted unfairly. And it’s not that Kazuma isn’t being kind of corrupt right now, what with his very terrible argument that Stronghart is conveniently choosing to agree with… but it’s not really in the way that van Zieks is suggesting here.

The first testimony we had today, about the smuggling, really was practically a script. That whole line of argument was bullshitted by the Prosecutor’s Office (aka: Stronghart) to come up with something to hide the truth about Gregson acting for the Reaper. And Gina, a very inexperienced detective who doesn’t know much of what’s going on and is the most willing to accept anything that doesn’t involve Gregson working for the Reaper, was called to give the testimony, even though all she was really doing was reciting what she’d been told to say about the smuggling. And Kazuma didn’t like that he had to script that part of the trial, and was happy when Ryunosuke managed to disprove it for him!

This second testimony of Gina’s is a lot less scripted, though. She’s stating actual facts about what’s written in Gregson’s secret notebook (the notebook she found, so she’s a relevant person to testify about it), and the purpose of the testimony is to prove that Gregson was indeed working for the Reaper. This is something that van Zieks knows to be true thanks to his own investigations, some of which involved that very notebook! And Gina is the one person who’s actually trying to argue against this angle on Gregson in her testimony, by adding an unwarranted personal-opinion line at the end about how surely he was really just investigating the Reaper. So she’s hardly a witness who’s biased towards Kazuma’s case.

The actual problem here is that Kazuma is taking the true and backed-up facts that Gregson was working for the Reaper and went on a Reaper mission that day, and using those to spin a thoroughly flawed argument about how this means that van Zieks, who is totally the Reaper, totally killed him. Van Zieks… doesn’t quite seem able to see that. His own hatred of Kazuma is twisting his judgement just a little out of whack on this matter, too.

(It’s pretty amusing that van Zieks’s mistake here is that he’s assuming Kazuma is being corrupt in a more competent way than how he is actually being corrupt. Everybody is overestimating Kazuma’s ability to form a coherent argument here. Which is fair, because Kazuma really is so much better than this the rest of the time!)

Kazuma:  “………”

Kazuma’s response to van Zieks insinuating that he’s rigged this testimony is nothing but a silent glare. Maybe he feels somewhat secure here, because at least he knows that he hasn’t really rigged the testimony at all.

(He was trying to bring the rumours into it, though. Van Zieks isn’t wrong to call him out on that bit.)

Van Zieks:  “In your mind, I’m sure I am the Reaper… who sent your father to the gallows all those years ago.” Kazuma:  “…!”

Kazuma remains in the same pose, but his text box implies a slightly more intense reaction to van Zieks bringing up his father, because of course. I really like how van Zieks is able to empathise with Kazuma to some extent and understand how he must feel about the death of his father, even though van Zieks believes that Genshin deserved it!

Van Zieks:  “But you’re in danger of becoming a far more sinister Reaper yourself… by attempting to have me condemned with this feeble excuse for testimony.” Kazuma:  “What did you say?”

This is the only part of van Zieks’s words that gets a verbal rise out of Kazuma. Of course he’s especially not pleased at the insinuation that he’s being worse than van Zieks himself in the way he’s approaching this. And, hey, while van Zieks is off about the precise ways in which Kazuma’s being corrupt right now, he’s not wrong to suggest that at all! Kazuma, please take a step back and look at yourself before you become the very kind of demon that you’re trying to fight.

This delightful little exchange gets interrupted by Susato and Ryunosuke, as the latter appeals for van Zieks to remain in the stand for the cross-examination, since he might know important information. It’s almost like he’s the one who actually has proper information on the testimony’s topic of Gregson being part of the Reaper, because he literally agrees with what the testimony’s arguing! Not such a corrupt testimony, really, is it, van Zieks?

(This trial day is short enough that it isn’t split apart with a save point, but I have so much to say about it that I’m splitting it into two anyway! So I’m stopping here, just before we start the actual cross-examination.)

[friezaglasiencold]

Day 16: Crab 🦀

Haven't heard from you in a bit. Are you feeling quite all right, Lord Frieza?

Oh, yesterday’s crab game must have slipped my mind. Don’t worry, though; I’m quite all right. Eating dinner—sauced vegetables and tofu this time.

Day 16: We’ve stopped on planet Millen to have the hyperdrive refueled and retrofitted. A lot of waiting around today. In the meantime, I’ve been catching up with a few acquaintances, since about 40% of my engineering personnel were taught the basics of their craft at one of the universities here. They’ve made some discoveries I’m interested to hear about in their fuel refining process.

Today Kuriza tried to use his budding psychic abilities to swipe snacks from the kitchen. It was a failed attempt, but a commendable one. I didn’t reward him for it, though. Important for him to learn that he can’t always have what he wants, before he grows up thinking Daddy will shell out millions for whatever swanky new ride he’s got his eye on.

He’ll thank me later.

[velvetporcelain]

Pain reminds you the joy you felt was real

I woke up with a head pressured with thought. I don’t know what I wanted to do first. I am used to waking up alone, so when my husband is touchy and grabby I am usually cold about it. I don’t know why anything from him doesn’t feel real. Outside sources keep us connected. Maybe I am the one blocking everything.

I brought my book outside on the back patio in hopes I could release this weight of thought, but who am I kidding? I will always be lost in translation. The weather is nice enough for a sweater and I’m grateful. Most of the leaves on our trees are still green and full, so I let my eyes remember.

I fell asleep last night to another nazi Germany documentary. I’m still incredibly interested in something that keeps my mind moving. Satisfied by the way it moves my train of thought. When broken men come into power, the only thing stopping them is their own destruction.

I was talking yesterday a lot about god and the “religious” wars happening in the Middle East. The fight over a “promised” land that still persuades violence and the belief in something we cannot see. It has been proven time and time again that we in fact do believe in God. But does god believe in us? God nor Jesus wanted a fight. We seem to do everything in the name of god, except love one another. So my next inquiry will be the history of the Middle East. Another form of hate driven by worship.

I don’t know if any of that made sense but I’m not here to really make sense of anything. Just think. It helps me sort so many questions that I have the time to be trying to answer. Most people are distracted and busy by society, but me, I am always alone in my own little world with the freedom to know. It’s not like any of us could ever fix what matters in a world where nothing really matters.

I never know what the day has in store for me but I always seem to know what I want out of it, and that’s enough for me to either be wildly optimistic or wildly discouraged. Look at all that we have created. A world designed to spin on the power of choice but never knowing how to balance it all.

Today I do not have the urge to share myself like I did yesterday, I still feel wounded in some way and the best way to figure that out is to not. It will present itself when it is engaged by something you would have never thought about before. I desperately need this time with myself. It is the only real thing that has helped me mentally. I call it discovery.

I can’t help but think that I’m moving up the levels of manifestation, once I have reached my higher self for that moment I am configuring my next moves in order to move to the next version of myself. Nothing is really consistent with me and that’s what I love about me. I am learning how to compute and express in way many people cannot even grasp, it is why I think they settle for the mundane constants of life. I tend to think bigger and deeper and I become impatient because the road can be long and take time in a world where there is no time. Time never stops, but neither does the process of thought.

I’ve been pulling out single strand of my hair and wrapping them around my fingers for comfort. Something I have done ever since I was a little girl. I haven’t done that in a while so I worry about what is hidden behind this reengagement. But I know what it is.

I want him. I want him back in my life. I don’t know when or if this feeling will ever go away or if I’m going to be forever adrift in a vast and empty sea. I can’t let it drown me. I can’t let it take my ability to breathe. The world is already choking me.

-x

[kakyoinscheryblush]

Once upon an lost island [Joseph Joestar x reader]

Summary: Y/n was an archaeologist at the Speedwagon Archeology Centre. After being paired up with a famous adventurer Joseph Joestar to an upcoming expedition, she will have to overcome her many fears in order to prove to her agency that she is fit to be one of their best researchers they have.

However, neither Joseph nor Y/n were prepared for what the mysterious island had in store for them…

This work is originally posted on Ao3 on my profile @Tena_HH

Masterlist << Next chapter

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Chapter one, Somewhat a celebrity

Dear grandpa,

New York is livelier than ever, even after many letters we have exchanged over the years. My job is still the same and I swear the rats are getting bigger and bigger. And the Speedwagon Archeology Centre is thriving as usual!

You know how every time I write to you I say there aren't any major discoveries? Well, this time I have a surprise for you! 

One of our satellites discovered a medium island in the Pacific ocean two months ago! But I wouldn’t be writing to you so urgently if it wasn’t a major discovery.

The satellite caught a picture of a temple in the middle of an island. Though, it is surrounded by probably kilometres of rainforest. 

Today there will be a huge conference with all the famous archeologists you could think of, and the commission will be choosing the candidates for the expedition to the newfound island!

Since the Speedwagon Archeology Centre discovered the island with our satellites, we have to recommend who we will be sending to the expedition. 

And I sincerely hope it isn't me. You know I’ve never been good at such things, I’m better off brainstorming in my lab rather than getting eaten by a huge beast or something. 

The news reporters are going to be swarming within minutes the conference is done and there will be numerous articles and theories about the island. Even though we ourselves don’t know much about it. 

But, I’ll be updating you in the next letter. Until then keep safe and don’t forget to lock Roger in his cage at night!

Your dearest granddaughter, N/n

The h/c haired woman sighed as she put down the pen next to the letter. “I’ll send it off tomorrow…” she murmured as she folded it up and put it aside. 

This was the biggest discovery that the Speedwagon Archeology Centre ever had! It felt as if it was just yesterday when everything happened.

And today, there will be a conference where her agency will have to recommend two people to go on the expedition.

It would probably be Jessica and Christoper… The duo was an ace when it came to going on expeditions to unknown places.

Which made Y/n extremely happy since she didn’t have to really go anywhere. Most of the time it was her assistant, Penny Adamas, who brought her the news or a cup of (favourite drink).

Y/n greatly appreciated her and she showed that by sometimes giving Penny gift cards for some clothing stores. 

“Ms. L/n! Ms. L/n! We must get you dressed! NOW! ” a short woman with her hands full of clothes slammed the wooden doors open, making the vases around the huge office shake.

“Oh God, Penny! Don’t scare me like that!” Y/n exclaimed as she placed her hand on her heart. 

Penny laughed and dropped the pile of clothes on Y/n’s opened books, “No can do in this kind of emergency, Ms. L/n. Also, I picked out this outfit for you! Now go change quickly!”. Without observing the clothes Y/n picked them up and rushed out of her huge office and went into a nearby toalet. 

There were five of her other coworkers inside touching up their hair and make up.

“Hello, Y/n!” one of them greeted as she pulled out a red lipstick out of her small handbag.

"Hello to you too, Nicole!” Y/n greeted as she rushed into the bathroom stall and locked the doors. 

“Let’s see what Penny has brought me…” she whispered as she unfolded the freshly ironed clothes.

It was a white blouse with a knee length black skirt, black blazer and black heels. https://imgur.com/a/SV7GEcR (look reference)

“Hm, looks promising…” Y/n muttered as she took off her previous clothes and put on the ones that Penny gave her. After she dressed up she neatly folded her clothes and grabbed her shoes. 

She opened the bathroom stall doors and walked out, while trying to quietly stepp in her heels.

The other five women left and now it was only Y/n in the bathroom. “Thank God I washed my hair yesterday…” the h/c haired woman mumbled as she brushed down her hair, keeping her (type of hairstyle) intact. 

Y/n walked out and entered her office, and spotted Penny observing the artefacts in one of the tall showcases. “What do you think, Penny?” Y/n asked as she placed the clothes onto her chair. 

The brown haired assistant whirled her head around and gasped.

“Ms. L/n! You look absolutely stunning!” Penny’s hazel eyes glimmered in happiness. “Of course I do… After all, you’re the one that chose my outfit.” Y/n smiled at her assistant. 

Penny laughed and clapped her hands, “Now… Time for some perfume!” she exclaimed as she pulled out a glass bottle with translucent pink substance in it.

Y/n’s eyes widened in alarm, “No- Penny, put that thing down!” she shouted as she hid behind her office chair. 

“I’m sorry Ms. L/n, but this has to be done!” Penny shouted as she ran to Y/n and sprayed her multiple times with the pink perfume. 

“Gah-” Y/n choked and squeezed her eyes shut. Penny rolled her eyes, “Ms. L/n… Really?”. Y/n fixed her posture and sucked in a deep breath. “Yes, really …” she mumbled as she shook her head. 

After a few moments Penny chuckled as she sweated a bit, “Ms. L/n… I may have forgotten to tell you a tiny detail about the press conference…”. Y/n raised an eyebrow at Penny, “What is it?”.

“Joseph Joestar is attending the press-”  

“WHO IS WHAT -” Y/n screamed as she grabbed her chair, preventing her from falling on the wooden floor. 

Penny grimaced a little, “Mr. Speedwagon invited Mr. Joestar to attend the press… Hehehe… Apologies for not telling you sooner…”. Y/n’s throat went dry as she shook her head. 

“O-Oh God… I think I’m about to faint…” she mumbled out as she paced her palm on her forehead.

Penny panicked and rushed to her, “Oh, come on Ms. L/n! Don’t be like that! Isn’t he the person who you always considered an icon in the archeology world?”.

Y/n shakily nodded as her cheeks flared up in embarrassment, “That’s the thing Penny! I will fumble with my words and make an absolute idiot out of myself! I can’t even have a normal conversation with anybody and now I’ll have to talk to the Joseph Joestar!?”

Penny patted her shoulder, “There, there, Ms. L/n… Maybe you can ask him for an autograph when the press finishes?” she suggested.

Y/n sighed and shrugged her shoulders, “Yeah, but which one?” she muttered as she bent over a bit and opened one of the desk drawers, revealing up to 10 magazine covers with Joseph on them. 

“Wow, Ms. L/n… I didn’t know you admired him that much…” she teased the taller woman. Y/n rolled her eyes as her cheeks flushed, “Don’t even start, please …” whined as she placed her face in her palms. 

“Alright, alright I wont…” she chuckled as she looked at her silver wrist watch. “Oh shit! Your ride is waiting outside the facility!” Penny shouted out as she pushed out Y/n out of her office. 

“W-Wait- You’re not going with me?!” Y/n exclaimed and Penny rushed to the table, picked something up and ran to Y/n.

“No, I’m not. I have too much paperwork to finish. Now take this and go!” Penny slammed one of her magazine covers into her chest and closed the doors in front of her. 

Y/n stared at the doors for a few moments until she shook her head, folded up her poster and hurried to the elevator and pushed a button.

Once she entered the elevator she pressed the button for the first floor and the metal doors closed automatically. 

The elevator opened and Y/n walked out into the huge reception floor. Many people were also in a hurry, many of them wearing lab coats while some were wearing suits and dresses. 

“Excuse me- Sorry-” Y/n apologised as she bumped into a few coworkers.

Once she got out she spotted a man dressed in an all balck suit holding a paper with ‘Y/n L/n’ on it. “Sir! That’s me!” Y/n exclaimed as she waved at the driver. 

“Took you long enough, princess…” the older driver grumbled as he opened the doors of the back of the limo for her. “I’m sorry sir, it was a real struggle to get out of the building…” Y/n apologised to him. 

“Eh, it doesn’t matter, I just wanna get paid…” he muttered as he entered the limo and looked at the back of the paper. “The Sci-Dispatch Press facility…?” he mumbled to himself as he started the car. 

Y/n stayed quiet as she swiftly stuffed the magazine cover into the pocket of her black blazer.

The driver started driving and noticed Y/n fidgeting a bit, “You ok over there, champ?” he asked as he looked at her through the rearview mirror.

She looked up into his eyes in the mirror and bit her lip anxiously, “Not really… There is a big press conference that I have to attend and I’m starting to think that I won’t be able to do it…” she admitted in defeat. 

“The Sci-Dispatch Press doesn’t like weaklings like you, buster. Let me tell you that… I hear a lot of nasty shit that they do behind the scenes…” He muttered as he opened a piece of bubble gum and popped it into his mouth. 

“Want some?” he asked as he outstretched his hand and offered her a pack of pink bubble gum. “No thank you sir…” Y/n replied politely.

“More for me… By the way, the name’s Tony Castellano…” Tony introduced himself. 

“I’m Y/n L/n, nice to meet you sir.” Y/n said to the older man. “If you don’t mind me asking, what kind of ‘nasty shit’ did you hear that the Sci-Dispatch Press does?” Y/n peered over to the limo driver who loudly chewed the pink bubble gum. 

Tony laughed snarky, “Cara mia, you sure ask a lot of questions… But alright… I overheard that the Sci-Dispatch Press is helping with multiple artefact smuggling from all across the world. Not sure if it’s true, but you didn’t hear this from me, capish?” Tony warned the e/c colored woman and her eyes widened in shock. 

‘This is where we will have our press conference about our newest discovery!’ Y/n thought as many alarms balred inside her mind.

Tony laughed as he speeded up a bit, “Keep that capo of yours focused and don’t answer any of the questions you find suspicious.” Tony said as he lightly shrugged his shoulders. 

“Thank you for the advice, Mr. Castellano…” Y/n thanked the limo driver who only popped the pink bubble, “Eh, it’s no problem kid. Now go get em’ tiger…” he chuckled as he stopped at the gigantic building. 

“Goodbye sir!” Y/n exclaimed as she opened the doors and closed them. Tony laughed a little and dove off. 

Now it was time to face her biggest fear… 

The press conference in the Sci-Dispatch Press

She sighed as she walked on the stone path that had small pine trees and flower bushes lined up on the side.

There were dozens of news channel vans parked by the building, the reporters scrambling to set up their equipment the quickest. 

As Y/n was about to open the doors, a loud screech acoed around. She turned around and saw a white limo that stopped by the building.

For a few moments everything quieted down until the driver walked out and opened the doors. 

“It’s Joseph Joestar!” one of the reporters shouted as he and his camera crew rushed to him.

Y/n’s heart stopped functioning and she stopped breathing, ‘He… HE IS HERE!’ she panicked as she saw him flash his signature smile at every camera he looked at. 

As he moved, the paparazzi and the news reporters moved with him, attacking him with numerous questions. 

“Mr. Joestar! Is it true that you almost died on your last expedition!?” “Will you be attending this year’s gala?” “Are the rumours about you crushing a million dollar plane from your last expedition true?” 

And so many noncoherent questions that Joseph tried to answer. “Thank you so much for all the questions, I know my fans are worried…” Joseph said as he flashed his smile at one of the cameras. 

Y/n saw that they were nearing her and she quickly opened the doors and rushed in. She breathed out as she observed the scene outside.

Joseph stopped by the doors and answered the questions that the reporters were bombarding him with. 

Joseph looked inside and made eye contact with Y/n. He smiled and slammed open the doors. 

“Oh, look! My private assistant is already waiting for me! I’m sorry, but I have to get going!” Joseph exclaimed as he smiled one last time and closed the doors.

“Somebody better lock the them or they will break in…” he mumbled as he dusted off his black suit. 

Joseph’s bright green eyes fell upon the frozen Y/n. “My dear, you really saved me from the paparazzi over there…” Joseph laughed as he smiled at her. Y/n opened and closed her mouth but nothing came out. 

“Dear, are you alright?” Joseph asked the unmoving woman as he approached her. “Uhuh- Yeah- I’m fine-” Y/n mumbled as she fumbled with her hands.

Joseph laughed, “Oh, alright! You’re also here for the press conference, right?” he asked the h/c haired woman. 

Y/n nodded shakily, “Y-Yeah… I am… I’m here under the Speedwagon Archeology Centre-” “Oh! Speedwagon! Man, I can’t wait to see him!” Joseph exclaimed in happiness. 

Y/n laughed awkwardly, her throat going dry. 

“You two! You’re going to be late for the conference!” rushed out a ginger woman with a clipboard and a pen.

“The seats are full so you’re going backstage-” She instructed as she led them to metal doors. 

“The curtains haven’t risen so you can go and prepare yourselves.” The woman said as she opened the doors, pushed them in and locked them again.

Joseph and Y/n looked at each other and exhaled.

“Ladies first…” Joseph smirked as he walked to the beginning of ten stairs and stretched his hand. “Urm- Thank you-” Y/n squeaked out as she lightly placed her hand in his bigger one. 

“No problem dear, now let’s see who else is behind the curtains…” Joseph muttered as they both reached the end of the stairs. 

“Joseph! You finally arrived!” Whisper shouted Speedwagon as he rushed to the duo. “Speedwagon! Hello!” Jotaro quietly exclaimed as he hugged the older man.

“I see you have already met Y/n.” Speedwagon noted as he broke off the hug. 

Joseph chuckled as he pulled Y/n closer to him by wrapping his arm around her shoulder, “And I’m glad I did! She saved me from the paparazzi outside…” The brown haired adventurer smiled at Speedwagon. 

Y/n’s face erupted in fiery red colour as she felt his strong arm around her. ‘This must be a fever dream! This can’t be true!’ she slightly fawned at the scenario that was happening. 

“Nice to see you two getting along, but I must go back to my seat. I, along with some of my associates, are sitting in the first row. Unfortunately we don’t have enough seats for some reporters over there so I don’t think that there would be any free seats for you two.” said Speedwagon as he scratched his head. 

He led the duo deeper into the backstage and as they passed they saw six older men clad in navy blue suits and red ties, quietly discussing something. 

“That’s the commission of the World Archeology Organisation… Be nice and be quiet, because one wrong move around them, and you can say goodbye to your career…” Speedwagon mumbled quietly. 

“You’re saying that as if we’re children…” Joseph huffed, removed the arm that was around Y/n’s shoulder, and crossed his arms.

“Yes, and the child in question is you, Joseph…” Speedwagon muttered as he sighed. 

Y/n surprised her laugh with her hand as she averted her gaze from Speedwagon and Joseph. 

Speedwagon rolled his eyes, “Alright, you two, stay here unless somebody calls for you…” he said as he quietly walked away. 

“I thought this would be much more interesting…” Joseph rolled his eyes, but as he glanced at Y/n, his frown changed to a smirk.

“At least you’re here with me.” he flashed her his signature smirk and Y/n swore she wouldn fall unconscious. 

The chattering from the other side of the curtain suddenly quieted down and the dark red satin curtains rose, revealing the commission to the press. 

“Hello everyone! I thank you for showing up in such a big number in the name of the World Archeology Organisation!” exclaimed the man in the middle of the table.

Everyone clapped and so did the other five members by the table. 

Joseph and Y/n were still covered by the curtain, making the commission the only thing they could see. 

The man in the middle rose from his chairs and cleared his throat. Flashes of cameras could be heard from the edge of the podium. 

“Today, we all gathered around to hear out our esteemed member of our organisation, Robert Edward O. Speedwagon about the break-through discovery of his agency!” Exclaimed the man as a roar of applause echoed around the conference room. 

Speedwagon rose from his seat and humbly smiled, “Thank you, Dr. Jenkins for having us over… This discovery has shaken up our whole laboratory from the minute we noticed the satellite footage on the big screen.” Speedwagon started his speech. 

“You recieved photos and a brief explanation in your mail, so I’m going to keep it short. Dr. Jenkins has said that I have to decide two people who will be the two lead researchers on this expedition. And I’m proud to say that, Y/n L/n and Joseph Joestar have been chosen!”

Wait

DID HE JUST SAY HER AND JOSEPH’S NAME!?

“Y/n L/n and Joseph Joestar, please walk to the podium!” exclaimed Dr. Jenkins.

Joseph cheered and without thinking he picked up Y/n and spun her around, “I can’t believe this! This is a dream come true!” Joseph exclaimed as he gently put her down. 

Y/n stood petrified on the floor. “I’m just going to touch up you a bit before we go-” Joseph mumbled out as he smoothed out her hair and laughed.

“Let’s go!” he exclaimed as he grabbed Y/n’s hand and dragged her over to the podium. 

Roars of camera clicking and applauding almost blinded both of them, but Joseph, an expert when it came to such things, only smirked and waved. But Y/n… she was lost, completely lost. 

“Just hold my hand and everything’s going to be alright…” Joseph whispered to her and Y/n shakily nodded. 

The whole commission turned to them and Dr. Jenkins humed, “... Interesting choice, Mr. Speedwagon… I know why you chose Mr. Joestar. But what about the girl?” he questioned. 

Speedwagon smiled warmly, “It may not look like it, but Dr. L/n has proven to be a great researcher over the course of time she has worked under me. And I think it’s time for her to prove herself to be worthy of working under my agency.”

Dr. Jenkins, and the rest of the commission, nodded in thought. “We confide in your choice for this, Mr. Speedwagon.” he said as he sat down.

“Now, does anybody have anything to add?” questioned another commissioner next to Dr. Jenkins.

The conference room went dead quiet, Y/n was ready to sigh in relief but a sudden male voice echoed through the room.

“Mr. Jenkins, as much as I agree with all of what was said… Don’t you think that having just two lead researchers is a bit… too little for such an important expedition? I mean, there haven't been any discoveries as big as this one for hundreds of years…” the man explained, earning a few gasps and glares. 

Y/n’s eyes widened in shock while Joseph released her hand and clenched his fist. 

She took a closer look at the suit clad man and observed him. He was visibly taller from most people in the room.

He had longer purple hair and striking red eyes with violet eyeshadow covering his eyelids. 

It was none other than Kars

He was the top dog of the archeology world. He was smart and didn’t shy away from newly discovered ruins or such.

Kars was mostly known for doing everything in his power to reach his goal, even if that meant hurting somebody on the way.

“What exactly are you initiating Mr. Kars?” Dr. Jenkins said as his wrinkly face scrunched up in confusion.

Kars smirked as he glanced at Joseph who was clenching his fists and glaring at the wooden podium floor.

“What I’m trying to say is that I would like to join the expedition to the island.” Kars said firmly, leaving no space for disagreement. “He does have a point…!" mumbled out Dr. Jenkins as the other five members whispered together. 

The room fell into a big tension as Kars was waiting for the response.

Dr. Jenkins rose from his seat and cleared his throat, “Mr. Kars, you will also be a part of the expedition team, along with Ms. L/n and Mr. Joestar.” he said as he nodded in Kars’ direction. 

The cameras flashed in an instant speed, the reporters now piling over Kars and asking him too many questions. 

While he was busy, Joseph and Y/n looked at Speedwagon who was sitting in his chair with widened eyes and gaping mouth. “I can’t believe this…!” Joseph sneered as he tried to keep a neutral face. 

He wanted to pounce on Kras and tear his skull apart, but he held himself back. If he did what he wanted to Kars, not only would he lose his spot on the expedition but he would also end up in jail. 

Y/n wasnt any different from Joseph, only without the whole ‘I’ll murder him’ part. Of course she was afraid of Kars… At this point who wasn’t? Even the commission was afraid to decline his proposition. 

Once the crowd of reporters calmed down, everybody sat once again. 

“The expedition will start in one week, so I advise you to start preparing now. For any other information, we will send them to you via mail.” one of the commissioners said as all of them rose. 

Each one of them walked towards Y/n and Joseph and shook their hands with a thigh smile. 

Once everyone left, Speedwagon went up to Kars, “Mr. Kars, you’ve met Joseph a few times, right?” he asked politely.

Kars laughed as he swept a few of his purple hair strands off his shoulder. 

“Why, yes I have. But I haven’t met you, dear.” Kars smiled as he turned to stiffened Y/n. “I’m Y/n L/n, and it’s a pleasure to work with you, Mr. Kars.” Y/n said to the taller man. 

“I have read a few of your works in the past, so I think that it would be a pleasure to work with you… Would you like to come to my place so you can explain more about this mysterious island, dear?” Kars purred and Joseph placed his arm around Y/n shoulder in an instant. 

“I’m sorry but she’s already booked with me.” Joseph retorted and Kars’ smug expression fell as he looked at the brown haired adventurer.

“I don’t remember asking you anything, Mr. Joestar …” Kars scoffed in Joseph’s direction. 

Speedwagon and Y/n felt the tension rising and looked at each other with worried expressions.

“Alright, alright… Joseph and Y/n you’re free to go. I have few other things to discuss with Mr. Kars over here.” Speedwagon said as he motioned to them to walk out. 

“No problem, Speedwagon! Let’s go, dear…” Joseph gently tugged Y/n with him as they both walked out of the conference room and into the huge marble floored lobby. 

“Do you want to get some ice cream?” Joseph asked as a smile climbed up to his face while unwrapping his arm from her shoulder.

Y/n stopped in her tracks and looked at him shakily, “U-Uh- Sure- Why not…” She squeaked out. 

Joseph laughed, “Great! I know a secret place where I go when I’m free…”. But soon they stopped as they noticed a pile of reporters from earlier waiting outside with their cameras and microphones ready. 

“We can leave from the back exit-” “No need, dear! Now let’s go!” Joseph exclaimed Y/n’s hand and ran to the glass doors. 

The cameras flashed as the duo ran to Joseph’s limousine and quickly entered it. “Henry, our next destination is Vincenzo’s Gelato!” Joseph exclaimed and his driver nodded his head and speeded away. 

The clicks of the camera became more quiet as they drove in the distance and Y/n sighed in relief.

“Vincenzo has one of the best ice creams in the whole New York! Ever since I was a kid, I always went there for ice cream…” Joseph spoke as his eyes sparkled with joy. 

Y/n nodded her head and hummed, she didn’t really know what to say without stuttering, so she kept quiet. 

After a few minutes, they arrived at a more secluded street that was partially empty.

"Thank you Henry- Now let’s go!” Joseph opened the doors of the limo and exited. Y/n sighed as she exited the limo, trying to calm herself. 

It was a rather small ice cream shop on the corner of the street with pastel green and pink palette decorations. 

“Vincenzo!” Joseph exclaimed as he walked the glass ice cream display. An older man, similar to Speedwagon’s age, walked out with a pink apron and white dress shirt. 

“Joseph! Long time no see! I see that you brought some company with you…” Vincenzo laughed as he prepared his ice cream grabbing tool.

“Vincezno, this is Y/n L/n, my partner on the upcoming expedition!” Joseph introduced Y/n who smiled politely and waved, “Hello sir.”. 

The older man chuckled, “Nice to meet you too. Now, are you ready to order?” he asked and Joseph pointed to a caramel flavoured ice cream.

“Two scoops of caramel, please.” Joseph said and Vincezno scooped out the ice cream and put in a cone. 

“And you, dolcezza?” Vincezno asked and Y/n pointed to a f/f ice cream, “One scoop of f/f!”. Vincenzo chuckled as he scooped out the ice cream, “Good choice…”. Once Joseph and Y/n had their ice creams, Joseph patted his suit for his wallet. 

“How much is it?” Joseph asked and Vincenzo shook his head, “It’s on the house, Josephino.” . Joseph and Y/n looked at each other and smiled, “Thank you, Vincenzo/sir!” they both exclaimed at the same time. 

They started to walk towards a small park that was nearby as they ate their ice creams. “You live somewhere around here, Mr. Joestar?” Y/n asked Joseph wno nodded.

“Yeah, I live in that huge building.” Joseph pointed to a gigantic building that was down the street. 

“That makes more sense…” Y/n chuckled as they both sat on a nearby bench.  Joseph looked at her and shook his head with a smile, “You can drop the formalities, just call me JoJo!”.

Y/n blushed, “I- Sir- I can’t… You’re my colleague!”. Joseph licked his ice cream and raised an eyebrow at her, “Don’t be ridiculous! Just call me JoJo!”. Y/n nodded hesitantly, “Alright… JoJo…”. 

“See! It wasn’t that hard!” the green eyed adventurer laughed as he ate his ice cream. 

As the sun was starting to set behind the horizont, it gave the park a soft orange and pink glow. 

Both stayed in silence as they ate their ice cream, but Y/n glanced at Joseph a few times. It still felt like a fever dream.

She couldn’t wrap her head around the fact that Joseph Joestar was sitting next to her and eating ice cream. 

After they finished their ice creams, Y/n sighed in sadness. “I’m sorry Mr. Joestar- I mean, Jojo- But I have to get going now…” she said to Joseph.

“You’re leaving so soon already?” he asked as his expression partly fell. 

“Unfortunately yes… I left my assistant all by herself with piles of my paperwork and I promised to help her after the conference…” Y/n said and Joseph laughed.

“Oh! I just left Caesar to fend for himself with my paperwork!” he sniggered as he slapped his knee. 

Y/n shook her head, “That isn’t quite nice, Mr. Joestar…”. Joseph didn’t even hear her as he was laughing at his miserable assistant. Once he calmed down he whipped a stray tear coming from his eyes. 

“If you must go, dear. My driver will drive you to Speedwagon’s agency.” Joseph said as he got up and dusted off his outfit and Y/n followed suit.

Once they arrived at the limo, Joseph opened the doors for Y/n and smiled, “Ladies first…”. 

Y/n smiled and awkwardly chuckled, “Thank you…”. Joseph sat next to her and looked at his chauffeur, “Harper, can you drive us to the Speedwagon Archeology Centre?”.

Harper nodded his head, “Of course, sir.” he said as he started the engine and started to drive. 

Once they arrived in front of the huge building, Y/n turned to Joseph and smiled, “Thank you Mr. Joestar, and see you next week…”.

Joseph smiled and grabbed her hand, “See you next week too…” he mumbled as he pressed his lips at the back of her hand. 

He gently let her hand go and watched as Y/n’s face exploded in mad blush. “Uh- Yes- Goodbye!” she exclaimed as she opened the doors and rushed out. Joseph closed the doors and laughed, “Can you drop me off at my building?”. 

His chauffeur nodded and they drove off. 

Y/N stumbled into her office and she noticed Penny napping on one of the chairs. “Good grief…” Y/n mumbled as she saw Penny drooling over one of the papers.

“I guess I’ll have to print out a copy tomorrow…” the e/c eyed girl sighed as she sat on her office chair and held her face in her hands. 

How will she survive this expedition? She is extremely afraid of bugs and snakes, and seeming that this was a secluded island that hasn’t been discovered yet, there was a huge chance of it being filled up with them.

“Time to do some paperwork…” Y/n mumbled out tiredly as she picked up her pen and started filling out numerous papers.

After a few minutes she turned on her desk lamp since it had gotten darker outside. 

As she was filling out one of the papers, her vision became blurry and her eyelids started to close slowly.

“Maybe… I need to take… a little nap…” Y/n mumbled as she rested her head against the paper and breathed out loudly. 

She would worry about the expedition tomorrow, but now, she needed to take a much deserved rest…

[being-worthy]

I made a shocking yet not quite surprising discovery today but first some context. Since I’m going back to work next Monday and I’ve to go to the other office which is waaaaaay far away from where I live (and again on Wednesday) I asked my manager to explain to me a few things regarding the new ticket policy for the public transport which apparently, is now covered by the company since January 2023. I remember my manager saying that it’s a good deal and that the company can also ask for a refund if someone leaves halfway through and doesn’t quite use the fully yearly ticket (e.g. an intern or contractor). However, when I went to the instructions there were a few things that contradicted this. 1. I’m required to create an individual account inside the company’s account with the public transport company. 2. I’ve to pay upfront 500 bucks for it. 3. The company is ultimately the only one who can activate the yearly ticket and you’ve got no control or visibility about it.

Therefore, my brain who’s well trained in spotting bullshit and hypocrisy asked things like:

- “Wasn’t it repeatedly mentioned that the company would pay for this directly?”

- “How is the company supposedly to be reimbursed when someone leaves before the yearly ticket is completely used if they’ve to pay for it directly themselves and upfront?”

- “If someone leaves can they still use the ticket that THEY paid for with their own money even if it’s linked to the company account?”

I asked these questions to my manager yesterday at 8am because I saw he was online and his status was available and then again after lunch, and again at 5pm. I went to my work chat again this morning and still no reply from that self-centred bastard.

To top this all, I had a feeling that something else might have been going on in the back. I googled the company and put my work title next to it and they reposted my role on LinkedIn, although for only 50% (I’m working full-time). When have companies lost their balls and can’t just simply tell you “look, this is not working. So, we’re going to hire someone else” and instead prefer doing this behind your back like cowards. A friend of me recommended to check if this is a legal practice here which most likely isn’t, so I’ll call my insurance who also provides me with legal advice and support to see if they can do this.

[captainaikus]

Oliver gives me the vibes of acting all cool collected and nonchalant but secretly obsessed with this one random thing like action figures a comic book series or a childish tv show and no one knows about it except when one day he sees a limited edition of something just his eyes light up his face pulls into the biggest most innocent smile and he lets out the most adorable little gasp when you ask him about it and immediately starts rambling about whatever it is and all you can do is just stare at this 6’3 man fanboying over a kids show with all the surprise and fondness and love in your eyes. Idk I just feel like once you get to really know this man and he really falls in love with you? That he’d let some of that facade down around you. I think it just means that he feels safe to be himself around you. And he doesn’t have that cool playboy image to uphold anymore at least not for a while and certainly not around you yknow? Idk that thought just came into my head and I had to share it with you. How are you btw? How’s uni? Hows the new show going? Also if you don’t mind. I will be ranting about the end of Tokyo Revengers in another ask and how it absolutely destroyed me and left me completely empty inside and just all the feelings because it’s my favorite and comfort manga. If that’s alright? *sends many virtual hugs*

- ✨ anon

✨ (the urge to call you starry or charmer but it’s upto you ♡) , I-

I love this. so much ♡(˃͈ દ ˂͈ ) this man has my heart and I had a dream about him last night

He'd fanboy over the little things so much - it's so adorable. 6'3 defender of japan going out shopping with you to buy figurines, mangas and pointing at the one he wants on the shelf with a smile. And imagine if you share the same passion? And what if it coincides?

I made some groundbreaking discoveries yesterday and many more reasons on why Oliver and I are the perfect couple

So I was curious to see if there was any fanart of him on twitter (cause the artists there are amazing and I found this one pic of tendou with like really short hair and he was fucking AHHh he was hot !! but anyway) I found a thread of discussion on Oliver

Turns out, he hates corn cause it gets stuck between his teeth and I have no words cause even I didn't like corn for that reason... but its alright to eat now ig; he likes shin ramyeon. (Literally stocked the goddamn thing into the cupboard yesterday adbfkjhfbhesff ) and he likes Spicy food!! 🥹

and his manga. *put on glasses* Chi: Chikyū no Undō ni Tsuite.

It is a historical manga and it’s coinciding with astronomy. *is a major of it at uni* I- Oliver is a nerd. He’s a nerd and I love him for it. And I’d like to think that there is a moment where he does engage with you in discussions about it and when you give him that look; that knowing look of ‘I know who you really are’ when he turns an argument into an intellectual one without realizing it. And he just gives you the look back of ‘I know. I’m not stupid. Surprise.’

And once he falls in love with you? playboy season is over and he will be locked.

I absolutely loved this thought and thank you for sharing it with me ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭ ♡

Cause seriously it fits well with his character and I can totally imagine him just being giddy about it (T.T) *heartclench*

What happened at uni today : So me and this guy I’ve known for 5 years since school share one of the majors we have out of two together. He’s very aloof, always sits at the back and doesn’t talk to anyone. But today since he was late, he sat next to me. And he goes ‘You’ve changed. You’ve lost a lost of weight.’ And not even in the positive way… it was condescending.

*proceeds to lose a debate against me* (like seriously you’d think I’d let that slide?)

I've also destroyed my glutes and elbows at the gym today and I'm writing more to the NNN challenge fic along with another one

Romantic killer is so cute and funny! I’d rec you to give it a watch !!

*passes cup of hot chocolate and a squishmallow* go on. I’m listening *pat pat* (੭˶•༝•˶)੭ ♡ You can rant to whenever you want <3

*sending warm and comforting hugs*

[variousandnefarious]

yesterday 2001: a space odyssey, today secretary. We’re 2-2 on BANGIN movie nights lfgggg I’m in my watching movies era, I’ve never watched so many movies in a year!!! it’s probs because I no longer have the fears I had. I was so afraid of the time commitment AND I was so afraid that I would watch a bad movie. But like life is short, if I don’t like the movie I’m turning it off. This discovery has made movie watching so much more fun and I’m super excited waaah <333

[gmanwhore]

I’ve been thinking. I saw a post quite a long time ago, about how humanity likes to use its most recent major discovery as a metaphor for the universe. When humans invented writing, a belief emerged that reality was a book and whatever Greater Things were out there were its authors. When early machines and clockwork became common, the universe started being compared to various wound-up mechanisms. Then computers came around, and, what do you know, quite a few folks today believe life to be a digital simulation!

It’s… applying the lesser unknowns that just recently became known to the infinitely greater unknown that is the nature of reality. We take our little steps into existence, and, as little as we like to admit it sometimes, we’re proud of them, and put our creations up on the fridge of greater meaning. We’re a toddler who learned what cheese is yesterday, looking up at the moon and wondering if it’s made of cheese because it’s yellow and has holes in it.

Or… something of the sort.

NO BUT THAT IS A WONDERFUL ANALOGY that's what humans do best, I think. Take something and compare it to other things. Create metaphors. Understand through other things.

[ellie-e-marcovitz]

Nine: New Discoveries

3 September 1890

It, however, was far from restful, his sleep plagued by wild, fractured images making up his dreams, being thrown from one to another much like a baseball. Troll roars melded with shouts, all accented by flaring blue light and screams.

Whose, he couldn’t tell. There had been plenty of screams since arriving in Britain.

He finally woke to an empty dormitory, clothes strewn next to his bed and feeling like he’d run the length of Hogwarts. Pushing himself up, his body ached despite the Wiggenweld.

A glance at his clock, and he scrambled off his bed. Digging through his trunks, he pulled out a clean uniform, and donning the robe Mr. Hill had given him, he grabbed his bag. Nothing like missing his second day of classes.

He made his way down to the common room, trying to figure out if he even wanted to leave the common room. No doubt, his, Eleanor and Natty’s exploits in Hogsmeade had ripped through the gossip circles by now, the tales growing wildly out of control.

It certainly hadn’t been the first time.

“Northrup,” Leander called, breaking him from his thoughts. “Professor Weasley is waiting for you.” He jerked his thumb towards the portrait.

What for? He wondered, giving a nod of thanks as he passed his dorm mate. Clambering through, he spotted Professor Weasley at the end of the hallway.

“Ah, there you are,” she said, as he approached. “How’re you feeling?”

He shrugged, not entirely sure what to say. “All right, I suppose.” Besides the aches, part of him still felt elated that he’d found his actual wand.

“Hmm…” she fixed him with the same inscrutable look as yesterday. “Well, I was hoping to have you start both potions and Herbology today,” she continued, as they started through the castle.

He ignored the flurry of whispers around them, uncomfortably used to them, as they made their way into the Grand Staircase. “Will I still be able to start Ancient Runes tomorrow?” he asked, as they passed a painting full of witches and wizards.

“I believe so,” Professor Weasley answered, somehow knowing exactly which staircase to take, as they moved between students and other staff, all hurrying in various directions. “Along with Muggle Studies. Although,” she paused to let some Hufflepuffs by. “Professor Howin did request that she would like at least one class with you in attendance.”

He blinked momentarily, feeling confused. “Err… Why?”

She beckoned, before continuing. “I believe she is, at least a little, curious if you have any experience with magical creatures. I believe that one of your sisters mentioned a kneazle?��

He flushed a little, before nodding. Of course one of his sisters had to say something… “She’s currently with my parents. Found her roaming the docks of Boston.”

They reached the Great Hall, pausing just outside it. “One more thing…” Professor Weasley pulled out an envelope, adorned with a red seal, darker than the one on the Hogwarts letter, and held it out. “Professor Fig asked me to give this to you as soon as possible.”

He took it, not sure what to expect.

“Have a good lunch.”

He nodded, absently, and Professor Weasley hurried off.

Entering the Great Hall, the murmurs spread around like a hissing wildfire, as he found a spot not far from Eleanor, Seraphina and Natty. He spotted Garreth not far from them, absorbed in a textbook of some sort.

Finding something to eat, he cracked the seal as most everyone filtered out.

Mr. Northrup, it read, in neat handwriting. Please come and see me after class this afternoon. I’ve managed to discover something in the locket we found at Gringotts. Professor Fig.

He stuffed the note into his field guide. It seemed like the safest place for now.

So Professor Fig had found something in the locket, and wanted to show him. He clearly trusted Professor Weasley enough to deliver the note to him, but was also paranoid about the whole situation enough to not mention what it was exactly he’d found.

Exiting the Great Hall, he made his way over to Central Hall, slowly starting to feel more relaxed, besides the hiss of whispers that continued to follow him. It was growing clearer and clearer thar the news of the troll attack had only upped his notoriety among the rest of the student population.

The rest of the students, especially some of the younger ones, huddled in whispering groups, before scattering as he approached. Clearly, if no one connected him with the dragon attack, they would with the troll in Hogsmeade.

He ended up, first at the top of the Astronomy tower and taking in the grounds, then in Professor Fig’s classroom, as he lectured to half a dozen students, mostly Ravenclaws. The professor paused, briefly, as he walked in and took a seat closer to the back, before continuing with the lecture at hand.

A bit of it caught his ear. “…Rackham was noted in the field of magical theory, in that he, along with several of the professors at Hogwarts at the time, helped ground the likes of…”

Rackham? He wondered, mind starting to piece together the happenings of the vault. Ranrok did say Rackham’s vault…. He was so lost in thought that he didn’t hear the chimes ending class, and didn’t realise it was over until Professor Fig was standing in front of him.

“Oh,” he startled, jerking out of his daze and standing. “Professor. It’s good to see you.”

“And I you,” Professor Fig agreed, before gesturing towards the front of the classroom. “Let’s talk in my office.”

He nodded, before carefully picking his way through the classroom, as he followed the professor up. Entering, he noticed that the office was as cluttered as the classroom below, further making him think Fig could’ve easily been a Ravenclaw.

“Thank Merlin you’re all right and in one piece,” Professor Fig started, as he started to uncover a map on his desk. “I heard about the attack. Trolls? In Hogsmeade?”

Something about it made his brain start to itch.

Swallowing, he nodded. “The trolls were wearing armour. They had the same dark, reddish glow to them, just like the dragon’s collar and the guard’s armband did.”

Professor Fig contemplated his words, before there was a knock at Fig’s door.

“Professor Fig?” came Eleanor’s voice. “You wanted to see me?”

“Come in, Miss Parkmoore,” Professor Fig called, and Eleanor entered. Her expression sat between unsure and confused.

“Cyrus,” she greeted, her voice cautious.

“Eleanor,” he returned, also feeling confused. “What-?”

“Goblin silver!” Professor Fig exclaimed, interrupting his thoughts. “Ranrok must be using it! To control the dragon, and possibly some of his followers.”

He and Eleanor shared a look. Eleanor seemed sceptical.

“I’ve never seen goblin silver glow the reddish hue the troll’s armour did, professor,” she noted. He gaped a little. Professor Fig didn’t seem quite as shocked.

“Then he must have imbued it,” he mused. “But why would he send trolls…”

“Because of me,” he interrupted, swallowing down his anxiety. “We… might’ve… overheard Ranrok talking with Victor Rookwood about it.”

Professor Fig’s eyebrows leaped. “Ranrok was in Hogsmeade?!” he exclaimed, clearly shocked. “With Victor Rookwood?!”

They both nodded, Eleanor scowling at the mention.

“Apparently, the trolls were Ranrok’s distraction,” she noted, her voice controlled. “So that Rookwood could get to Cyrus. Or me. He didn’t exactly specify.”

“Probably me,” he agreed. “And he possibly would have otherwise, had Sirona and the patrons at the Three Broomsticks not intervened.”

“Natty and I included,” Eleanor chipped in. “I do wish I’d been able to take a crack at him,” she mused, as a seeming afterthought.

“Be that as it may,” Professor Fig continued, returning to the conversation at hand. “This is certainly grave news indeed. If both Ranrok’s goblins and noted dark wizards are after you, then they clearly want what we found in that vault.”

“Sir, speaking of the vault… do you think that Ranrok is working with any of the other goblins at Gringotts?

Professor Fig shook his head. “I do not. Not anymore. While Gringotts goblins aren’t typically the friendliest of beings, they do have a great deal of integrity.” A stern look and another shake of his head. “No. Not after what happened to that poor banker, I daresay, that the goblins at Gringotts are no followers of Ranrok.”

He contemplated the professor’s words. “Then, Ranrok and Rookwood, they’re after the locket, aren’t they?” Pieces were slowly coming together in his head, and Eleanor was interested in what she was hearing.

“Quite possibly.” Professor Fig agreed.

“You also said that you wanted to show me – us,” he corrected quickly, gesturing to Eleanor, who now seemed intent on the map. “Something?”

Professor Fig pointed at the map. “Yes, yes. I discovered an inscription on the locket, which when I read it aloud, made this map in front of me appear… Quite the clever enchantment.”

Both he and Eleanor rounded either side of the desk. It looked to be a map of Hogwarts…

“It’s a map of Hogwarts,” Eleanor admired, tracing the various passageways, until her finger rested on the library.

“It is,” Professor Fig agreed. “But I’m not sure where exactly it leads…”

He leaned in for a better look, little bits of magic floating around the library. “It leads to the library,” he noted, finger paused not far from Eleanor’s, before moving to a part of the library he didn’t recognise. “It looks like it’s coming from here…”

“The Restricted Section, to be precise…” Eleanor muttered, recognition dawning. “And a bit beyond, yes?”

He nodded. “I can definitely see traces of magic there.” His finger followed after Eleanor’s, tracing the magic’s path.

“I suspected you’d be able to see something,” Professor Fig commented, a grin audible, as they stood up.

Excitement seemed to race through him. “Shall we go?” Professor Fig’s grin faded some, and a stern expression took over.

“While I do appreciate your enthusiasm,” he started. “And I’m just as eager to discover what we may find there… but,” the professor hesitated, facing them. “If our experience at Gringotts, along with what happened to Miriam, has taught me anything, it’s that the path we’re now on is terribly dangerous.”

A stern look to them both, and some of his enthusiasm cooled. “I would like you in particular, Mr. Northrup, to work with Professor Hecat a bit on your defensive magic, before we go ahead and continue.”

“And me, Professor?” Eleanor asked.

“You as well, Miss Parkmoore, and try and brew some more Wiggenweld Potion.” Professor Fig noted, and Eleanor nodded.

“But sir,” he exclaimed, still partly wanting to go. “How dangerous could the library be? Perhaps we’re only after a book?”

A flash of annoyance crossed Professor Fig’s face, and he gulped a little. “Perhaps we are,” Professor Fig agreed, voice stern. “But we should be prepared for anything.”

He nodded, recognising the momentary defeat. No need to isolate his closest ally.

“Once you’ve both honed you defensive magic further, come and see me, and we’ll talk.”

They both nodded, Eleanor picking up her book bag.

“You’re free to go, and I’ll let Professor Hecat know to expect you.”

He nodded, head spinning with the new information. “Thank you, again, professor.”

They exited out into Professor Fig’s classroom, before making their way out to the corridor beyond.

“Heard you’re defending Hogsmeade from trolls,” came a reedy voice he partially recognised. Eleanor stiffened next to him, as a tall-ish Slytherin walked by, wand out and tip softly glowing. “You know there is such a thing as trying too hard…”

It wasn’t until they reached the main area of the Defence tower that she muttered, “That was Ominis Gaunt. I believe you have Charms with him and Sebastian.”

He nodded, now recognising the Slytherin.

She continued, “My father was one of the aurors on duty that dealt with his family several years ago. I’d still watch your back around him and Sebastian.”

Pursing her lips, she made a decision. “You might as well come to Defence with me,” she said, contemplative. “I don’t think Hecat would mind, and it saves her the trouble of repeating herself.”

He really wanted to explore the library some more. But it also made sense... considering... “Might as well, if you don’t Professor Hecat will mind...”

“She won’t,” Eleanor agreed. “We should get moving, however.”

Entering the classroom, all Professor Hecat did was give him an odd look, before starting class. He opted for a desk towards the back of the classroom, two behind Eleanor.

He managed to take down some notes in his field guide, before watching the class practice against the dummy. Hecat managed to have one duel before class ended – Eleanor against a Hufflepuff with blonde hair.

Almost unsurprisingly, Eleanor won, handily. The Hufflepuff seemed annoyed by the fact, but politely shook her hand after.

Hecat managed to collect the summer essays from Eleanor’s class, while they waited for the rest of the class to leave.

“Ah, Miss Parkmoore, Mr. Northrup,” Hecat greeted them, rolls held under her arm. “I believe we have some matters to discuss...” They nodded.

“Now, I received a message from Professor Fig,” Hecat started, folding her hands. “He indicated something about bringing defensive skills up to snuff.” She gave both of them a scrutinising look. “And completing your Defensive magic assignments sooner.”

He squirmed a little at her look, not helped by the various objects with eyes.

“Now, Miss Parkmoore, you will learn the Full Body Bind, an excellent curse for halting one’s attackers in their tracks. You, of course, are welcome to teach Mr. Northrup afterwards.” Eleanor nodded, as Hecat turned to face him.

“For you, Mr. Northrup,” Hecat continued. “I would like to teach you Incendio. Useful for burning away spider webs, among other things.” There was something of a mischievous twinkle.

“But first, I have a few tasks I’d like for you each to complete.”

They nodded, understanding.

“Miss Parkmoore, I want you to practice your Incendio with me, along with the Disarming charm and a few others, tomorrow afternoon. No need to scare young master Brattleby too much.” A grin was shared between them, before Hecat turned to him again.

“Now, it may come as a surprise to you, Mr. Northrup, considering how much they wish to be secret. It’s astonishing how much some students think their professors don’t know.” The twinkle became stronger. “I want you to work with Mr. Brattleby next time Crossed Wands meets. When you’re finished, come and see me. We’ll begin work on Incendio then.”

He gaped a little. Of course she knew about Crossed Wands. “You know about Crossed Wands?”

Hecat smirked. “Of course I do. How else would Headmaster Black not know about it?”

He and Eleanor shared a grin. It did make sense… “Now, off. Once you’re finished, Mr. Northrup, you know where to find me,” Hecat dismissed them, before making her way up to her office.

Exiting, Eleanor turned to him. “Where you going now?”

He shrugged. “Might head to the library. See if I can figure out where the Ancient Runes class might be.”

Eleanor shuddered a little. “Have fun with that,” she sighed. “I think I’ll work on the essay for Muggle Studies, or History of Magic. Back in the common room.”

“I’ll see you there.”

She hurried off, robes rippling behind her. He made his way down as well, still feeling surprised, though not surprised as well, that Hecat knew of Crossed Wands.

“Seems Crossed Wands isn’t as secret as it’s believed to be…” he muttered to himself. He wasn’t going to tell that to Sebastian, however. Let the Slytherin have his illusion of secrecy.

Reaching the Transfiguration courtyard, Franklin dropped a tightly wound scroll into his hand. He didn’t recognise the handwriting, but pulled it open.

Cyrus! it read, the handwriting frantic. I was hoping you might be able to help me, considering the librarian doesn’t know you all that well yet. Meet me by the library. Cressida.

Re-rolling the scroll, he stuck it in his bag. He was heading to the library already… and Cressida seemed nice enough. Might as well help.

Entering Central Hall, he spotted Cressida near the library, looking upset. “I really have made a mess of things…” she bemoaned as he approached.

“Hello Cressida. Is everything all right?”

She shook her head, curls bouncing wildly. “No, everything is not all right, thank you for asking.” She lowered her voice. “I may be in a spot of trouble with the school librarian. You might remember how I was trying to cast non-verbally in the common room?”

He nodded, remembering large hat she’d been practicing on. “I do.”

“Well, I mastered that, thanks to Professor Ronen and his essay for Charms. So I’ve taken to creating my own charms.”

He felt like he could see where this was heading.

“Thought I’d perfected my ‘light as a feather’ charm, to use on my library books. My arms get so tired carrying them around all day…” she shrugged. “But, I must have mixed up the Latin word for ‘feather’ with the word for ‘bird’ in my incantation…”

He winced in sympathy. What little charm creating he’d attempted never went to plan to start.

“Because when I opened my bag, not too long ago, in the library, they literally took flight.” She frowned, clearly annoyed.

“In a way, that sounds brilliant, though,” he gave her a knowing look. “I take it that the librarian isn’t happy with that?”

Cressida shook her head. “Not at all. I’d collect the books myself and remove the charm, except, well, this isn’t the first time one of my charms has threatened the peace of the library. Amit Thakkar told Madam Scribner they were my books flying around. So Madam Scribner said that if I caused her any more trouble, she’d write my parents.” She scowled in frustration, before she had an idea.

“Perhaps you could get them for me?” she pondered. “There are only five books, and Madam Scribner wouldn’t be suspicious of a new student looking around…”

“Considering I’ve spent some time in there, I doubt it,” he agreed. “Though, why did Amit…?” he gave Cressida a questioning look, and she nodded. “Why did he tell Madam Scribner they were your books?”

Cressida sighed. “To be perfectly honest… I don’t think he meant any harm in doing so. I think he was rather impressed, actually. Bragging on my behalf, so to speak.” She shrugged, a slight smile on her face. “Amit may spend a lot of time gazing at the stars, but he knows a good charm when he sees one.”

He laughed a little to himself. “I think I’m up to doing it.”

“Oh would you?!” she exclaimed. “I’d very much appreciate it, considering that one of the books is my diary.” She flushed a little, dropping her voice in embarrassment. “I’d rather it not fall into the wrong hands.”

“Of course, Cressida.”

“If you can collect them, and bring them back to me, I can remove the charm.” She bobbed anxiously. “I’d hate to find out what Scribner would do if she got them down… Here,” she pulled a piece of parchment out, before scribbling a short list of titles and holding it out. “The books I sent flying.”

Sounds easy enough… he thought, taking it. “I’ll be back with them shortly,” he told Cressida, who nodded and returned to the chair she’d previously occupied.

Entering the library, he spotted one flapping around the large globe. I’m going to have to use Accio to grab them… he noted, extracting his wand and hoping the librarian wasn’t going to throw him out as well for using magic. “Accio…” he whispered, pointing at the book.

It tumbled towards him and he deftly caught it, quickly stuffing it into his own bag. Got it. One down, four to go.

Moving further, he spotted another coming out of the Restricted Section. “Accio.” Catching it, it wiggled, clearly not wanting to be caught. A flash of handwriting caught his attention, along with the cover.

This must be Cressida’s diary… he noted, taking a brief glance at the page, before stuffing it in his bag. The most he made out was something about Garreth being a menace in potions and slowly getting used to Scottish cuisine. I’d want this back too, if I were her…

Before he continued, another student bumped into him, dropping a note. Unfolding it, he noted it was from Lucan. Good news! We have a new training dummy, it read, and he suspected Hecat was behind that. On which you can practice spell combinations – and you’re up for round two of Crossed Wands. When ready, come and find me.  – Lucan B.

He folded the note up, sticking it in his pocket. Three more books.

Looking around, he almost missed the one fluttering near the upper level, hidden a little by the glow of the setting sun. “Accio…!” Two more…

Not seeing any more at ground level, he headed for one of the spiral staircases. The others must be upstairs as well. Spotting now familiar bust, he detoured, lighting the floo flame at the back.

Pausing, he glanced around, just in case there was another over this way. There wasn’t. Climbing the stairs, he also took in the Latin that denoted the subjects kept, but didn’t note anything that might be ancient runes.

Reaching the top, he looked around. Grabbing the nearby field guide page, the sound of flapping pages caught his ear.

Either a field guide page, or one of Cressida’s books – or both. Following the sound, he hurried over, finding both a page and one of the books.

And the librarian, annoyance clear on her face. He slowed to a stop as she turned to face him. “Madam… Scribner?” he stammered, surprised.

The librarian gave a short nod, eyeing the wand he still held. “Yes.”

He quickly made to stuff it in his robe pocket, but not before she asked, “I hope you’re not practicing any new spells in here as well.”

He shook his head, before (rather cheekily) accio’ing the field guide page. “Only old ones.” Another Accio, and he grabbed Cressida’s book as well, as a look of outrage appeared on the librarian’s face.

He bolted for the stairs as he stuffed the book into his bag. One more to go… A glimmer of movement caught his eye, and he started down the nearest staircase. A few steps down, and he spotted her last book. “Accio.”

It soared up, and he stuck it in his bag, and bolted down the staircase. No need to linger much longer. Back to Cressida…

Exiting the library, he made a beeline for where Cressida still sat. She perked up as he approached. “Oh, Cyrus, hello.”

“Hello Cressida,” he greeted. “I managed to find and collect your books, including your diary.”

She seemed to perk up further. “Oh, what a relief!” Some of the tension seemed to vanish from her. “Thank you. I’ll happily take the heavy lot off your hands now.”

He nodded, carefully extracting the books from his bag. No need for them to be loose in Central Hall. Quickly handing over her diary, he further extracted the other four books, as they tried to become airborne again. “Here we go…” He handed them over.

Cressida gave a happier sigh, as she clutched at the stack. “Oh, well, lesson learned. I certainly won’t be practicing my charms in the library any time soon.” She promptly shoved them into her bag, as a contemplative look emerged. “Now, where did I go wrong? I have to work it out…”

She toyed with the small book that was her diary. “Perhaps I should start by brushing up on my Latin.”

He shrugged. “Good a place as any.”

“Thank you again, Cyrus,” she said, finally stuffing her diary into her bag.

“You’re welcome Cressida,” he returned. “I hope you’re successful in figuring out your spell.” He headed off, back to the main level of Central Hall.

“Glad some people are trustworthy,” he heard Cressida mutter. “Certainly wouldn’t want anyone else reading it…”

He headed back down, briefly waving to Lenora, who waved back from where she sat at the fountain.

“I heard Lucan Brattleby is looking for you, Cyrus,” she mentioned, and he nodded.

“Thanks Lenora.”

Cressida joined Lenora at the fountain as he moved off.

He ended up wandering down to the boathouse, briefly greeting Garreth as they crossed paths. It was serene, being down on the water, the slowly setting sun reflecting off it.

His stomach grumbled a little, reminding him he needed to eat. Not that he felt like eating, but it would probably be for best.

Entering the Entrance Hall, he was besieged by his siblings. Both Kendal and Gwyneth nearly broke his ribs with their nearly suffocating hugs, and even Hayden insisted on a brief, but tight, squeeze that told how much he’d been terrified by everything.

They all ended up eating at the end of the Gryffindor table, even if Hayden fled as soon as he was finished. He sighed, part of him annoyed by the rivalry between his house and Hayden’s. He was still his brother, even if they were in different houses.

Eleanor dropped next to him after his sisters left.

“What’s this I hear about you creating chaos in the library?” she asked, just as he was sipping his pumpkin juice. He choked a little, the liquid trying to go down the wrong pipe.

“Excuse me?!” he eventually got out. The most he’d done was accidentally sass off to the librarian, before fleeing to avoid detention.

“Apparently, it’s gotten around that you did something in the library this afternoon…”

“All I did,” he interrupted, “was help Cressida retrieve her books, and maybe sass off to the librarian. On accident.”

An eyebrow arched in response. “Really?” He rolled his eyes at her disbelieving look.

“Really. Anything else is a misconstrued addition.” He was all too aware of how quickly a story could be warped beyond recognition.

Her expression turned contemplative. “Good to know,” she casually muttered. Their chatter turned to classes, and he peppered her with questions about years past.

It was later, back in the common room, that he noticed some of the younger years filtering out of the common room as they worked on their essay for Charms. Eleanor noted his confusion.

“Professor Shah likes to begin with the first years, before the other years, though I suspect we’ll end up with a refresher of her introductory lecture.”

“Because of me?”

She shrugged, her hair bouncing a little. “Possibly. And because it’s been a few years for the rest of us.”

The rest of the night passed without note, aside from a rather bizarre dream, involving Eleanor and a dark forest.

--

The sound of Leander’s alarm clock ringing, followed by the increasingly common sound of pillow thwacks, told him it was time to get up.

Morning routine finished, he and Garreth headed down to the Great Hall, where there seemed to be fewer whispers.

Charms went smoothly, and he even managed to answer a few questions, and just edged out Natty in their rematch of Summoner’s Court. And without dropping any of his balls.

He spent part of the time between Charms and lunch quietly roaming the castle, finding various field guide pages.

Until Lucan’s note fell out of his field guide, and he caught a glimpse of one of Hecat’s assignments he’d scribbled down. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to at least use the training dummy. Then he’d be able to tell Professor Hecat he was coming along in his assignment.

He decided to head outside and over to the stone circle he’d seen Tuesday.

Entering the clock tower, he noticed plenty of other students milling about, and Lucan chatting with several others. He also noticed Natty was there, along with Sebastian.

The group around Lucan dispersed, and he approached. “Hello Lucan,” he greeted. “Might I use the training dummy?”

“Ah, Cyrus, you got my message!” Lucan cheered. “Of course! Let me go fetch it, and I’ll give you a list of combinations to practice.” He procured a piece of parchment, decorated with various symbols, which he took.

He nodded, before Lucan disappeared behind him. Stretching a little, he took in the duel happening in front of him. None of the students looked familiar, though the last name of Dagworth sounded vaguely familiar.

Lucan emerged as the duel finished. “Here we are,” he cheered, pushing the large dummy beside him. “Just remember to cast all your spells before the dummy lands.”

He nodded, piecing together what Lucan was saying.

“And, if you need to stop before you’ve finished all of them, let me know.”

“Thank you, Lucan.”

Lucan glanced around. “There seems to be a lull right now, and I should sort out the next few rounds of duelling…”

Lucan hurried off, and he carefully manoeuvred the training dummy down. No need to hit anyone else with a stray spell…

It was harder than it looked, even with his duelling experience.

The first couple had been easy enough: Accio followed by a chain of basic casts, and the same following Levioso. He noticed, dimly, that basic casts occurred in sets of four, each one stronger than the previous.

Which complicated the third set, which daisy-chained the two together, requiring only three after the initial Accio. Somehow, he managed to pace himself.

“Well done,” Lucan greeted him, as he brought the dummy back over. “I’d say that was enough practice for now. You looked good out there.”

He flushed a little, feeling awkward. “Thank you, Lucan.”

“I say it’s better to discover your weaknesses during practice than during a duel!” Lucan grinned. “You’ll be a fearsome challenger now!”

“Thank you again Lucan.”

“Are you planning on duelling as well?” There was a sense of anxiousness coming from Lucan, as they surveyed the duel underway.

“Certainly thinking about it.” It would be good to finish off the assignment now, rather than later.

“Excellent. Ready for another round?”

He nodded. “I am. With Natty, if that’s okay.”

Lucan beamed. “Brilliant. You’re up next!”

He headed over to the far side, where he was joined by Natty, followed shortly by their opponents.

“That is Constance Dagworth, along with Hector Jenkins and Nerida Roberts,” Natty muttered, as Constance gave a mocking bow.

“Ready to get thrashed?” she asked, taking her stance.

“Apologies in advance,” Hector continued, his voice cool.

“And… begin!” came Lucan’s voice. Their opponents raised shields. Constance, a yellow tinged one, and Nerida and Hector, purple tinged ones.

This one was also a blur of spells, and he decided he preferred duelling with Natty instead of Sebastian. Less chances of flying flagstone. That was not to say that she didn’t know her way with her wand. Not the slightest.

He could just tell that she was also refraining from using wandless magic, as well as her wand.

Knocking Hector to his feet, Lucan called an end. Claps and murmurs followed him back to where Lucan stood.

“Bravo!” Lucan cheered, as he approached.

“I gave it my all…”

“You did indeed.” There was excitement from Lucan. “The other duellists have already taken notice of you, but after that last round, they’ll really have it in for you.”

He gulped. Not a fun thought.

“You’d better keep practicing,” Lucan noted sagely. “If you want a chance at winning, or even surviving, the next round.”

Thank you for that deeply unsettling thought, Lucan… he thought sarcastically, though only nodded.

“I’ll let you know when the final round is, then,” Lucan finished. “I hope to see you there.”

“Thank you again, Lucan,” he said. “You as well.”

Grabbing his school bag, he left the Clocktower, as bells sounded for lunch. Assignment’s all finished, he mused, as he crossed back into Gryffindor tower.

Natty joined him at lunch, noting that her potion’s class had been dismissed early, as someone’s potion had broken all over the floor of the classroom barely two minutes into class.

Professor Sharp had been furious, she noted. Enough that she’d chosen to avoid Central Hall for the rest of the morning.

Eleanor joined them shortly after, and even Garreth and Leander took spots nearby. Sebastian gave a short nod as he passed.

Lunch finished, he headed towards Hecat’s classroom. Defence passed smoothly, turning in his essay along with everyone else.

Class finished, Professor Hecat waved him up, as the rest of the class filtered out. “I trust Mr. Brattleby was able to accommodate you, and that you found success in your…” she glanced around. “Endeavours?”

He nodded. “I finished the assignment, Professor. Lucan was understanding.”

“Glad to hear of it,” she replied. “Then you should be ready to learn Incendio.”

“Should be, Professor?”

Hecat’s expression turned serious. “Yes. I’m sorry to say, I’ve visited more than enough careless colleagues from the Ministry at St. Mungo’s to tell you that fire is a fickle servant.”

He winced in understanding.

“Your spell-casting has impressed me thus far,” she continued. “Even moreso with your new wand. But I want you to maintain your focus, please. I would rather we not end today’s lesson with your robes on fire.”

There was a slight grin on her face that had him cracking one as well, and he nodded, understanding.

“Now, wand up. Let us begin.”

He pulled his wand out, appreciating the warmth of the wood beneath his fingers, as Hecat pulled hers.

“I want you to focus on my wand movement…” she continued. He carefully watched as she drew out a vaguely flame-shaped triangle. His hand shook a little as he followed, a little nervous.

Hecat fixed him with a stern look. “Concentrate, Mr. Northrup, and keep your wand steady.”

He nodded, taking a few breaths. Feeling calmer, he focused. Tracing the wand movement, Hecat grinned.

“Good work, Mr. Northrup,” she said. “Feel free to practice in the classroom before you go.” She gestured towards the back of the classroom. “I’ve set up a few targets for you, if you so wish.”

“Thank you, Professor.”

He headed to the back of the classroom, before lining up to the dummy situated between two black metal braziers. He also noticed some scorch marks on the floor around them.

“Incendio!” he shouted, pointing at the dummy. There was a small boom, as fire erupted from his wand, and sending him stumbling back a step or two. He could feel the heat of it singe off some of the hair from his hand, as it impacted.

At least one of the braziers was now alight, and the dummy partly on fire. It dissipated some after a moment from the dummy, with the brazier staying lit.

“Well done, Mr. Northrup,” Professor Hecat congratulated. “I think you’re getting it. Keep at it, and do try to not incinerate yourself.”

He laughed a little to himself, before blasting the dummy again. His eyes watered at little at the heat of it as the dummy rolled towards him, and as Hecat coolly watched.

“Setting things ablaze is certainly cathartic, isn’t it?” she mused, as he stared at the blazing dummy. He nodded.

There was something cathartic about occasionally setting something on fire, though part of him hoped that it wouldn’t become too commonplace.

Shaking himself, he headed back over to Hecat. “Thank you, again, professor. This should help me.”

“I’m pleased to hear it,” Hecat smiled. “I shall inform Professor Fig that you’re ready for what’s next.”

He nodded, before exiting the classroom, and nearly running into Eleanor.

“Oh, hello.”

“Cyrus,” she greeted in return. “I’m surprised you’re here.”

He shrugged. “Happened to finish my assignment earlier than expected. I could say the same for you.”

She huffed out an irritated sigh. “Apparently, the potions classroom is still unusable, and Professor Sharp is reluctant to clean out another classroom, it seems, so early in the year.”

Ah. “Good to know… I think.”

“Speaking of classes…” she mused, as he moved towards the stairs. “Shouldn’t you be in Ancient Runes?”

He swore mentally. He had completely forgotten about both Ancient Runes and Muggle Studies. “Thank you!” he shouted, as he sprinted down the nearby stairs.

Somehow, he managed to not be late, sliding into the seat beside Natty, as the professor read, “Northrup, Cyrus.” He raised his hand.

“Here.”

The class passed without too much drama; even as Professor Willard seemed unimpressed by his translation of the text they were working on, and seemed to sneer whenever he answered a question correctly.

Natty eyed him carefully, as class ended. No doubt, it seemed he had a storm cloud above him.

It stayed with him through dinner, as he moodily picked at his food, barely listening to what chatter was swirling around him. Something about the text they were translating also nagged at him. Like, for whatever reason, it could be important.

But how?

Returning to Gryffindor tower, he tried to focus on any of the given essays, but gave up as exhaustion caught up with him.

--

Thursday passed quietly into Friday, the nightmares minimised by the exhaustion. Even if he found himself rising just before Leander’s alarm sounded.

Taking advantage of the empty washroom, he quickly finished his morning routine, before slipping out of the dorm. There were a couple other Gryffindors in the common room, though still asleep.

He received a few letters during breakfast, with one of them a chiding from his mother about forgetting to write that he’d made it safely to school and which house he’d been sorted into.

Apparently Kendal had done it for him, owling them a letter, complaining that he’d been late to the Sorting Ceremony and had subsequently been placed in Gryffindor.

The other letters had been from his father and younger siblings, all eager to hear stories of his short time there.

After breakfast, he spent the morning talking with the Muggle Studies teacher, a Professor Hatten, who seemed to fawn over a recently acquired cannon between puffs of smoke. Not that he seemed to know what it was called.

Or that modern battles weren’t fought with ones like this.

Otherwise, Hatten seemed like the most easy going of the professors, despite the fact that he only had eleven students for the class. It took quite a bit of effort for him not to laugh. Eleanor seemed to be constantly shaking her head.

It wasn’t until after lunch that Professor Fig summoned him and Eleanor to his office.

“Ah, there you are,” he greeted as they entered.

“Hello professor,” Eleanor greeted, taking a seat in the armchair she occupied last time.

“Professor,’ he greeted, taking the seat next to Eleanor, and hoping something was going to happen.

“I’m pleased to hear both of you working on your defensive magic with Professor Hecat,” Fig started. “And she tells me you’ve taken rather well to your new wand.”

He gave a short laugh. “I should hope so, professor,” he grinned. “Considering it’s my old wand.”

Fig blinked, stunned at his words before giving a short laugh as well. “How?!” He glanced at Eleanor, who seemed confused.

Grinning, and a little flushed, he recounted what had happened at Ollivander’s.

“Hm,” Professor Fig acknowledged, before returning to the conversation. “Well, in any case, you must continue to work with her, along with your other professors, to improve your skills, both of you.”

They nodded.

“Now,” he continued, rubbing his hands together in anticipation. “I don’t wish to postpone our visit to the library any long-”

The door to Fig office banged open, and he was promptly interrupted by the appearance of Headmaster Black. He froze, halfway standing.

“Fig! I have work for you,” the headmaster ordered, stepping inside the office space. “Come.” He turned to leave, as Professor Fig protested, gesturing to them.

“Headmaster, I am with students! And my schedule -!”

He sunk back at the icy indifference on the headmaster’s face. Even Eleanor seemed to be trying to make herself smaller.

“Both of your students can wait,” Black snapped irritably. “As can your schedule. Indefinitely.” The headmaster scowled, before twisting the knife. “I would think, after all the trouble you caused me with Osric,” The derision was clear in the headmaster’s tone. “That you would be eager to make amends.”

He punctuated his statement with a disappointed look to Professor Fig. “My office. Five minutes.” he barked, before turning heel and leaving.

They waited a moment, before carefully getting to their feet. He could feel his heart pounding in his ears. “…Professor?” There was an uncomfortable sinking feeling somewhere near his stomach.

“That man is exasperating,” Professor Fig fumed. “Unfortunately, I believe our trip to the library will have to wait a bit longer.”

He groaned. “But, Professor…”

Fig shook his head. “No. Not a chance.” A pause. “It would be unwise to provoke our illustrious headmaster at the moment.”

He sighed, reluctant to put it off further.

“I shall find you, whenever I finish whatever toils the headmaster has decided I must endure...” Fig grumbled. “For now, I want you both to focus on what schoolwork you currently have.”

They nodded, him more reluctantly than Eleanor. “Yes, professor.”

“Now, I believe you both have a study period, yes?” More nods. “I hope to see you soon, then.”

On that, they were dismissed, and Fig hurried out, pulling his robes around him.

Picking up their bags, they followed him out.

chapter 10

[lifewithoutmeds]

june 19, 2023

monday, june 19 (juneteenth), 3:33 p.m.

things have been feeling sliiiightly better than the usual of terrible (progress.)

have had/have a pretty busy schedule.

past saturday, june 17 am: brunch with matt and alex in santa monica, followed by 3 games of monopoly deal and extended conversation saturday, june 17 pm: comedy show (alingon mitra) with anjali, followed by about two hours of chitchat sunday, june 18: father’s day lunch with dad. picked up $81 worth of groceries at whole foods, then went to his place where i made creamed spinach and mashed potatoes (from scratch and did i mention WHOLE FOODS ingredients,(, and he grilled up two WHOLE FOODS rib eye steaks that were just over a pound each.

future monday, june 19 pm: early bday dinner with mom at a local japanese place (that does not look good, but oh well, her choice.) tuesday, june 20: possible (unconfirmed) lunch with amy at tam o’shanters wednesday, june 21: early bday dinner  for esther with esther and gy friday, june 23: fishing with huy (dependent on weather, specifically wind) saturday, june 24: kbbq dinner with tracy and her wife (my place)

that’s something almost every day. looks like i have thursday (off), which will be a nice reprieve to my stomach/bank account. also, huy wants to get to the lake (castaic) right at opening so i think that means 5 a.m.? which would mean an early thursday to sleep/prep anyway.

on the other hand, i suppose it’s good for me to “get out” and “socialize” and “see people/maintain friendships” etc., so i ought not complain and i’m not. it’s just a lot in a short time is all.

things have felt sliiightly better. i was very productive at work last wednesday and semi-productive thursday and friday (which are significant strides considering the last two weeks’ worth of productivity or lack thereof) i’ve still been pretty unable to go out for my morning/noon walks. still watch youtube/instagram for way too many hours a day. haven’t worked out in weeks or hit my 15,000 step goal. but i am and have been reaching out more regularly to my friends and did a bit too good of a job calendaring things to force me out.

yesterday i was really groggy and in a bit of a mood when i saw my dad for father’s day. he was whiney and complainy about my mom and teared up a bit talking about uncle bill and i was snappy at him before we both chilled out and managed to have some neutral chit chat before i headed out and functionally just laid down the rest of the day, unable to even properly unload my car of various groceries he had given to me/my mom. today has been the most productive day in about three weeks. i woke up around 6 or 7, forced myself out for a roughly 30 minute walk, came back and napped for two hours, then got up and made myself some coffee which gave me the energy and motivation to do other things.

i’ve been able to (checklist): take meds make bed AM walk wash dishes (2x) run vacuum (3x) water plants clean at least 50 minutes start a new book and (now) journal the place looks cleaner than it has since returning from camping late may and the only few things to do are empty the bbq items from my car and wash up some of the dishes in my camp box and i’ll be back to the cleanliness-level of pre-camping. i need to journal more and walk more. about midway through my walk i suddenly felt something akin to like, relief? like a big sigh and the mildest flicker of something positive, something akin to hope.

i think i also need to journal with a few prompts, things to consider in addition to just describing incidents in my life and the feelings i have about it, for example, what does kristal3.0 look like to me? what do i value in others/myself, and what qualities would i like to see in myself?

i’ll just brush on 1 or 2 at this time, but if i want to take this year as self discovery and self-love, then i need to be more deliberate about it.

kristal3.0 is: thinner/fitter saves money/increases self worth, but is also generous to others clean. showers regularly. doesn’t smell. minimalistic. doesn’t have useless shit piled around everywhere. keeps to the year’s resolutions gets out of the condo at least once a week (excluding work)

i think a newer thing i’ll add to my daily activity is 50 minutes’ dedication of cleaning/organizing any given room. so within a week i will have gotten to each room at least once. lately after about 5pm all i do is lie down and stare at my phone. if i tack on a 30 minute walk and 50 minutes cleaning plus either reading or journaling, i should be in a better place in a multitude of ways.

mood: 4/10

[keefwho]

June 14 - 2023 Wednesday

10:26 PM

I’m starting to get tired of totally recounting my whole day so I’ll try to be extra brief unless I have something specific to elaborate on. The morning was normal, I had ramen, sausage links, and some fiber one cereal for breakfast. The stream went okay, I’m taking commissions real slow because I can. All I have left is one sketch and the guy that pays double so on paper I should only have to do half the work per day to keep up and that’s what I intend to do, making more time for personal work. When I did my workout I only went 2 miles on my treadmill instead of 3. I did this because of how I did my leg workouts just yesterday and I was going to go to the store which I didn’t end up doing. Lunch was leftover rice a roni. All day I’ve been feeling weird, like I’m out of place and can’t socialize properly. The same went for my attitude towards myself. I was just confused and disoriented. This made afternoon work hard, along with the request winner not getting back to me on time. I should have started working on a new YCH which I did take 10 minutes to sketch but instead I tried starting my next VRchat world but I was very unfocused and didn’t get that much done given the time I put in. This afternoon I played some shipbreaker and was more or less waiting for Daisy to get on because I wanted the company. All day I’ve wanted to get cozy and I managed to while we played Zelda. There’s lots of ants coming in behind my desk which I’ve already taken care of. 

Trying to plan my mental health focus around a weekly schedule hasn’t been working out. In practice this field is too dynamic to schedule. I’ve already started doing what I hope will work better which is writing down persistent goals or reminders instead of timing things. The big problem is that I always lose track of ideas that helped me and need constant reminding. Usually this takes the form of slowly forgetting things that were working for me until I am in complete disarray and hit a breaking point where I’ve forced to do some deep searching again. The only way I know not to forget something is to write it down for later so that’s what I will do. 

In terms of self discovery, I’d say I’ve been making progress. The one reminder I don’t want to forget is to keep telling myself how valid I am. People want to hear me like I want to hear others. I have a voice that I have a right to broadcast. I have desires I deserve to fulfill. I’m learning that self kindness means letting myself BE myself. 

Today I had to keep myself from dwelling too much on past guilt. I feel guilty for a lot that I’ve done, not huge things necessarily but for being an asshole in general for times in my life. Even way back when I was a child. All this stuff is in the past and I don’t need to atone for any of it but I don’t want to repeat any of it ever again. I guess that’s what a mistake is though and the best I can do is learn from it. I’ve learned well how bad it feels to be selfish and to hurt others. That’s not someone I want to be, and it’s not someone I am anymore. 

[ineedtopopmyzit]

This weekend was socially jammed packed. I was initially really anxious about it because I wasn’t sure where I stood with my social battery and also I feel a little rusty but I was really glad to have spent my time interacting with friends and new friends this weekend. I am actually really tired because I didn’t get home until later yday and also tonight it’s already late with the time changed and tomorrow night I have a concert so I gotta reserve my energy but I wanted to jot down some things that are really important for me right now. Here are some observations/key points:

Younger people are concerned with making a big impact but they don’t realize it’s the small impact that they make in the communities within that leads to a bigger impact. I wish I could tell them that they’re already doing that and they’re doing a great job.

A new dance friend who I met at my first freestyle session where I soloed for a first time in front of strangers told me afterwards that he loved seeing the passion in my dance and I kind of brushed it off because I was feeling really insecure about my solo already and tonight when I saw him again, he told me that the my first solo was one of the most impactful dance of the night so that was a huge encouragement to keep continuing and nurturing my craft which is self discovery.

Seeing another friend who isn’t afraid to dive head into new hobbies and interest is really inspiring. He’s a dj and a designer and a dancer. (So far I’ve seen) and he isn’t afraid to mess up. It’s actually really cool to see him embrace it.

Surprised at how much I can still fit in in these college environments. Maybe it’s the environment but dance community is so open and community focused.

They say every industry is toxic once u get deep enough and I almost don’t wanna see that side of dance. I want to enjoy street dance as the way I see it now. It’s exciting, it’s different, it’s engaging, it’s challenging at times, it’s inclusive. There was a guy dancing to day with a prosthetic leg. It is uplifting. It’s a feel good thing

I really cherish my friends and when I don’t, it’s probably because I am not spending enough time with myself.

I was questioning my outfit choice today because it was more Wednesday Addams inspired and I wasn’t sure how people were gonna dress like. I could have worn something that made me more fit in but I chose not to and I am glad I did because people complimented me on my outfit today. And yesterday too. Even from people who normally don’t. I want to always dress for myself even in my older days. I always want to have fun in the way I dress and always wear something that makes me feel good even if I feel like it might make me stick out from the crowd. Stick to the rule: always better to be overdressed than underdressed.

[willowsrecovery]

19-11-2022

My day:

Honestly today wasn’t the best, nothing bad happened but coming off two good days to feel it all slipping away again wasn’t great. I didn’t really do anything today, just laid in bed all day. We watched a movie as a family during dinner and it was my sisters idea, which was really nice. While doing my bath with mum I was talking about how I don’t want to go back to how things were before the last two days, and I realised that the only thing that was different that could’ve caused the good days was that I had a super low dose of olanzapine 3 nights ago, and the following two days were the good ones. I’ve also figured out olanzapine seems to last in my system for two days (all of the times I’ve taken olanzapine at a higher dose I’ve just slept for the next two days). After this discovery my mum and I decided we’re going to run an experiment, I’m having 1.25mg of olanzapine tonight, and we’ll monitor how I go over the next three days. If I drop of on day 3 again then I’ll have another dose, and will continue to have a dose every second night. We will then discuss the results with my doctors and can hopefully figure something out. The last two days were the easiest/most normal days I’ve had in a long time, and it’s allowed me to control my diabetes in a way I haven’t been able to do for more than 3 years, and that’s amazing. I don’t want to lose that again.

What I achieved today:

• got myself a sausage and egg muffin

• did a bath

• did my night hygiene routine

• drank all my water

Self validating statement:

It’s okay if not every day is productive

Shadow work prompt of the day:

Think again about those memories of shame. Close your eyes and take yourself back to when you were at your very worst. Relive the feelings of that time. Now look around and see how far you’ve come.

For me those memories of shame from yesterday and the time I was at my worst were different times. But I’ve still come a long way from when I was at my worst, I was 15/16, having seizures multiple times a week, being on the edge of psychosis constantly, with full episodes regularly, in hospital weekly, and requiring admissions to psych wards every 3 months. I’m now 19, turning 20 in less than 3 months, have only had one seizure in more than 2 years, and have only been admitted to hospital twice this year (10 less times than last year). I still have a long way to go, and things are still insanely difficult at times, but this has made me see how far I’ve actually come, and I’m kind of proud of it.

A photos of aster cuddling in my lap today, just cause she’s cute