#I’ve never used that label before but I’m just gonna call it for what it is. I rub wire sanding discs and steel scourers like worry stones

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

Can anyone recommend a good brand of grippy sock/tight slipper? No; not for that reason. I’m kinda eh mentally but not necessarily in crisis (yet)…

The fake hardwood floors in this apartment are literal sensory hell to walk on. I can’t take my socks off and walk barefoot on them for two seconds without getting the worst fucking joint cramps in my hands and feet I’ve ever felt in my life. It’s like insta-gout, just add naked toes; but I don’t actually have gout (thank god)… it’s SOLELY from the texture of the floor. I’ve been wearing the same vampire bat socks for four days because I can’t bear to remove them unless my feet have been soaked in hot water before.

Also, the vampire bat socks for your amusement because the little guy is cute:

[waitimcomingtoo]

How Do I Get You Alone?

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

Synopsis: When you get stuck in the lab together during an earthquake, you and Peter share a moment but have to hide it from your dad

Masterlist

Peter was working in the robotics lab in Stark tower one day like usual. He had his earbuds in and was blasting music so loudly that he didn’t hear you come in. He happened to look up and saw you standing in the middle of the lab with a clipboard in hand. He screamed in surprise and tore his earbuds out, allowing the music to sound throughout the echoey lab.

“Were you listening to Justin Bieber?” You asked as Peter quickly paused his music.

“No.” He scoffed and flipped his phone over so you couldn’t see that he was in fact listening to Justin Bieber. You nodded your head skeptically and started to walk around the lab as you wrote things down on your clipboard. Peter sucked in a sharp breath and felt his cheeks redden as he watched you. He’d been working with Tony for 6 years now and harbored a rather large yet secret crush on you for the duration of that time. It wasn’t often that you were alone together, so he needed to make every moment count.

“What are you doing here?”Peter wondered. “I mean, not that you can’t come in here. Obviously you can. Your daddy owns the building. I mean, your dad. Unless daddy is his preferred pronoun-“

“Peter. Relax.” You cut him off. “I’m just doing a routine checkup to make sure everything in the lab is working as it should be. Ignore me.”

Peter wanted to tell you that he could never ignore you but didn’t want to freak you out with his desperation, so he tried to tell an anecdote instead.

“You know, at my last routine checkup, my doctor said that my prostate actually-“

“Don’t finish that sentence.” You pointed at him as you cut him off again.

“You’re right. Good call.” He nodded and stayed silent. You gave him a tight smile before continuing to walk around the room and check things off. Peter watched you and had a millions things he wanted to say but none of them seemed cool enough to impress you.

“So is everything up to par?” He asked after a few minutes of silence.

“Par?” You asked in confusion.

“Oh. I didn’t know you were gonna ask what that meant. I just know it’s a phrase people use. I think it’s a golf term? But it might be a volleyball term.”

“Right. Well, everything looks good.” You said and put your clipboard down on the lab table. That’s when Peters dinosaur patterned lunchbox caught your eye.

“Except for this. Is this yours?” You asked and held the lunchbox up.

“No. I’ve never seen that. Someone else must’ve left it.” Peter lied.

“The label has your name and grade written on it. And the grade just says “college”.” You pointed out and turned the lunchbox to show him.

“Someone must’ve have written that as a joke.” He mumbled and looked down.

“Hm. Well someone packed you baby carrots and hummus. Probably also as a joke.” You humored him and Peter looked up in surprise. He never saw you as anything but serious but that almost seemed like a joke.

“Yeah. Probably.” He smiled. You looked at each other for a moment and he felt the overwhelming urge to just admit how he felt about you.

“So, uh, I don’t know if you like to eat dinner or anything but-“

Peter was cut off by a loud alarm ringing through the entire building. You immediately tensed up and looked around as the lights flashed red.

“What’s that?” You asked and moved closer to Peter.

“I don’t know. It’s either the earthquake alarm or the tornado alarm.” Peter answered. Just then, the ground began to shake and your clipboard flew off the table. You looked at Peter with wide, fear filled eyes and moved to where he was.

“Definitely earthquake. Get down.” Peter instructed and ducked under the table. Once on the ground, he shot a web at each of the machines in the lab to keep them in place. You scooted beside Peter and held yourself tightly as your entire body shook with anxiety.

“What do we do?” You asked him. He’d never heard you sound so vulnerable so he put his own fear aside to be there for you.

“We’re gonna stay under the table and draw our knees in so that nothing falls and hurts us.” Peter calmly explained. You nodded many times and wrapped your arms around your knees.

“Okay.” You voice shook as you answered him.

“It’s gonna be okay. This will be over soon.” he assured you as the earth continued to shake.

“Have you ever been in an earthquake before?” You asked him.

“No. But I hear they’re not actually that bad.”

“Where did you hear that?”

“From the little voice inside my head that tells me every night that it wasn’t that embarrassing when I called the teacher “mom” that one time.” He weakly joked. You actually laughed for a second but went right back to being scared.

“That’s so embarrassing. You don’t even have a mom.” You laughed nervously. Peter had never told you that and wondered if that meant you had asked your dad about him.

“I know. And it actually happened multiple times.” He admitted.

“What? How? Wouldn’t the embarrassment of the first time make you hyper-vigilant of what you were saying so you never did it again?”

“Shh. The earth is shaking.” He said and waved his hand. You started to laugh until something fell off the table and you screamed.

“Shhh. We’re okay. You’re okay. I’m right here.” Peter said and wrapped his arm around you. He thought it might be too much but you immediately wrapped both arms around him and buried your face in his chest. He blinked in surprise before holding you tightly and keeping you as close as possible. Parts of the ceilings and things from the tables fell down and crashed onto the floor, leaving you screaming and shaking with fear each time.

“AHHH!” You screamed. “Something cold and wet just touched me.”

“It’s okay. It’s just my baby carrots.” Peter said and caught a few of the falling carrots.

“Peter.” You whined when you heard him eating them.

“I hope it knocks my hummus down too. Come on, earth. Shake my hummus onto the floor.” Peter called out.

“This isn’t funny.” You said just as Peter hummus fell in front of you.

“Holy shit.”Peter whispered. “Do you think I’m a witch?”

Before you could answer, an overheard light came crashing down in front of you and smashed against the floor, sending sparks flying everywhere. You screamed again and clung so tightly to Peter he thought he might bruise.

“Are you okay?” He whispered into your ear as he rubbed your back.

“No. The earth is spitting in half right now and we are im a very high floor of a very high tower.” You answered and he realized you were crying.

“Well when you put it like that….” He mumbled.

“I don’t know what to do.” You whimpered. “I don’t know how to get us out of here.”

“That’s okay. I don’t know what to do either. The only earthquake training I can remember is to tell someone you trust.”

“That’s not for earthquakes. And it’s different for me. I always know what to do. That’s my job.”

“Right now your job is don’t get squished.” Peter told you.

“You don’t understand. Knowing what to do the only thing I’m good at.”

“That’s not true. You’re so good at…” Peter trailed off when he realized he didn’t have any examples to give you off the top of his head.

“To be fair, I don’t really know you that well.” He said after a beat of silence.

“You’ve known me since you were 15.” You reminded him. You had pulled your head off of his chest to look him in the eyes but neither of you let go of the other.

“I know. But you’re kinda…” He trailed off again and shrugged his shoulders.

“Mean?” You said with a sad smile.

“No, no, no.” He quickly assured you. “I wasn’t gonna say mean.”

“But I am. I didn’t even say hi to you when I walked in. I never say hi to you. You’re always so nice to me and I’m always acting like I’m too cool to be nice back. I don’t know why I do that. I don’t mean it.”

“Hey, I never thought you were mean. I always thought of you as the cool, collected, stoic daughter of my boss.”

“I really thought the last word was gonna be another “c” word but you said stoic instead.” You laughed half heartedly.

“I know. I wanted to complete the trio but the only “c” word I could think of was conglomerate.” Peter admitted. You looked at him curiously and he turned red with embarrassment.

“It’s a type of rock.” He said quietly.

“Cumulonimbus.” You replied, making him smile.

“Constable.” He said back.

“Cassiopeia.”

“That too. Thats a lot of “c” words. And we didn’t even say the naughty one. We make a good team.” Peter said with a soft smile. You smiled back and realized you had never been this close to him before this moment. Your smile faded and you gulped.

“Peter, I’m really scared.” You admitted. He nodded his head and rubbed your back up and down. You had your arms around his neck and he had his around your shoulder and waist to keep you as close as possible.

“Well, don’t be. This will all be over soon and we can leave. Everything will be fine.” He assured you.

“What if it’s not? We don’t even know what’s happening outside of this room. My dad could be…” You trailed off and your eyes filled with fear again.

“Hey, it’s okay. Your dad built a metal suit when he was trapped in a cave. The earth shaking a little is not gonna stop that man. I’ve seen him swallow Tylenol with no water.”

“Thank you.” You smiled softly as a tear rolled down your face.

“For what?”

“Distracting me.”

“Oh, well, you’re welcome. And, I don’t know, it’s kinda nice.”

“What is?” You wondered.

“Talking to you. We never really get to do that.” Peter pointed out.

“Yeah. Maybe after this, we could-“

You were cut off but another light exploding and showering the room with sparks. You let out a scream and buried your face in Peter’s neck again as he wrapped his arms around you to shield you from the sparks.

“It’s okay. I got you.” He said into your ear.

“Peter, I don’t want to die.” You cried into his shirt.

“You’re not gonna die. I’m not gonna let that happen.”

“But-“

“Shhh. I would never let anything hurt you, okay? I have you. No matter what else you have in your head, I am with you and I am not going anywhere. You are going to be just fine. I’ll keep you safe. I promise.” Peter assured you as he cupped your face to make you look into his eyes. Once you processed what he had said, you pulled him by the shirt into a kiss. Peter’s eyes flew open but he quickly got over his initial shock and deepened the kiss. The room was crumbling around you but neither of you paid it any mind. You tangled your hands in his hair as you kissed him and he did the same to you. It didn’t feel like a first kiss. It felt comfortable and familiar and warm. By the time you pulled away to get some air, the earthquake had stopped.

“It stopped.” You realized.

“I love you too.” He said breathlessly.

“What?” You asked when you realized he had said something.

“I said we should get out of here and make sure everyone’s okay.” Peter quickly lied.

“Yeah. Let’s go.” You nodded and got off the floor. You helped Peter up before surveying the damage. The machines were okay but there were chunks of rubble and debris everywhere. Peter moved things out of the way with ease and never let go of your hand as he lead you out of the lab. He kept you close to his side as the two of you made your way to the living room. That’s where you found your dad and a few other team members.

“Oh, thank God you’re okay.” Tony said and let out a relieved sigh.

“I’m okay, daddy. Peter was there-“

Tony ran past you and grabbed his People’s Choice Award out of the rubble and gave it a kiss. You sighed and rolled your eyes until he noticed that everyone was looking at him.

“What? This are harder to win than an Oscar. They give those to any old hag.” Tony said in defense.

“I’m okay too, dad.” You said sarcastically.

“Oh yes. My precious angel princess baby. Are you okay?” Tony asked as he went over to give you a hug. You hugged him back for a while as Peter hung back and watched with a soft smile. You let go of Tony and wrapped your hand around Peter’s arm.

“We’re okay.” You answered.

“We?” Tony raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah. It would have been really bad for me if Peter wasn’t there. I had no idea what to do. But he pulled me under a table and kept me calm.”

“Peter did?” Tony laughed in surprise. “I’ve seen Peter scream at his own fart.”

“Hey, that was one time and I wasn’t expecting it to make a noise and I especially didn’t think it would echo like that.” Peter said in defense.

“Well I’m really grateful he was with me.” You told your dad.

“Wow. Thanks for not letting my daughter get squished, kid. I owe you one.” Tony said and proudly patted Peter on the back.

“Anytime.” Peter smiled weakly.

“Well, now that we know the most important people in the tower and possibly all of New York are okay, you should go see your aunt. She probably wants to know if you’re dead or alive right now. I mean, unless she doesn’t really care.” Tony shrugged. You made eye contact with Peter and gave him a sad smile. He nodded his head and understood what you mean, you didn’t want him to go so that you could talk about what had happed, but you couldn’t admit what happened in front of your dad.

“Right. I should go see her.” Peter said without taking his eyes off you. You kept your eyes on him as he left the building and wrapped your arms around once he was gone.

Peter had never gotten your number despite the years you had known each other but he was desperate to talk to you. The kiss was the only thing on his mind for days and it got to the point where he could no longer sleep. Tony was busy with construction to repair the damages from the earthquake so Peter couldn’t go over to see you. But to his surprise, he was sitting in his bed one day watching TV on his laptop when you appeared in his doorway.

“Hey. Your aunt let me in. And your doorman was reading a Highlights magazine so I don’t think he even saw me enter the building, so.” You said as you leaned against his wall. Peter quickly threw the covers off of himself and set his laptop down.

“Oh, hey. Come on in. I wasn’t touching my private parts or anything.” He said and immediately regretted it.

“Oh, I didn’t think you were.” You laughed awkwardly.

“Well I just didn’t want you to think that because my hands were hidden under the covers.” He tried to explain himself but there was no coming back from that.

“I wasn’t thinking that but now that you mention it I kinda think that is what you were doing.” You said out of the corner of your mouth.

“Psh. I wasn’t.” He scoffed and pushed his laptop away.

“Show me your laptop then.” You shrugged. Peter turned red and he handed him laptop over to you.

“Oh. The episode of Glee where they all switch characters. Nice.” You nodded when you saw what was last opened on his screen.

“Thank you.” He said sincerely.

“Weird thing to jack off too, though.” You shrugged as you sat down on his bed.

“No, I wasn’t-“ Peter quickly tried to explain himself until he realized you were just joking. He smiled shyly and shut the laptop to give you his full attention.

“So, I wanted to talk about the other day.” You began.

“The other day? Could you be more specific? I’ve been alive for a long time.” Peter played dumb and scratched his head.

“The day when there was an earthquake. And we kissed. And you peed your pants.”

“That pee was there when we got to the lab. I just happened to sit it in.” Peter insisted.

“Right.” You chuckled. “I wanted to talk about the kiss though. If that’s okay.”

There was a long, long pause between the two of you and Peter contemplated his next move. The kiss was all he was able to think about since it happened but he didn’t want to make it seem like he was desperate. You were staring into his eyes, hopeful for a certain response, but he was too stupid to give the right one.

“What kiss?” He said finally.

“Okay. This was a mistake. I’m gonna go.” You sighed and got off his bed.

“Wait.” Peter caught your hand and pulled you back towards him.

“Is that your jacking off hand?” You asked and pulled away from him.

“No. I wasn’t - never mind.” He whined. “My hands are clean. Just sit down.”

You rolled your eyes a little but sat back down on his bed.

“I also wanted to talk about the kiss. I’m just extremely nervous and constantly uncomfortable.” He admitted to you.

“I mean, same. So let’s make this as quick and painless as possible. All I wanted to say is that I think we should keep it between us. The kiss, I mean. We shouldn’t tell anyone.” You said and Peters world crumbled down.

“Oh.” He squeaked out. He was disappointed but you had an unreadable look on your face so he decided to play it neutral.

“So I should cancel the little banner and sea plane I hired to fly over the tower to announce our kiss to the pedestrians below?” He asked, making you smile in relief.

“Yes. I would appreciate that.” You chuckled.

“Will do.”

“Cool. So let’s just agree to keep this our secret.” You repeated and he nodded while avoiding eye contact with you. You stared at him for a minute and felt guilty for making him upset. You decided that he deserved to know the truth about that day.

“But, uh, that’s not the only reason I came over. I had a lot of things I wanted to say to you the day of the earthquake but with everything going on I wasn’t able to get you alone.” You continued, making Peter’s hope come back.

“Oh? What did you have to say?” He asked. You took a deep breath before looking into his eyes.

“Peter, when I kissed you-“

Just then, Ned came into Peter’s room for the planned hangout that Peter had entirely forgotten about. Your sentence stopped abruptly and Peter sighed in frustration.

“Hey Peter. I think your doorman is in diabetic shock again. I just walked right by him and he didn’t even move.” Ned said.

“We kissed during the earthquake.” Peter blurted and you threw your hands up in exasperation.

“Why would you say that? I just said we’re not telling anyone.”

“I’m sorry! He’s my best friend.” Peter explained before covering his mouth with his hand to keep from blurting anything else.

“No way. You guys kissed? So does that mean you’re like together now or no?” Ned asked and touched his two pointer fingers together.

“Well, we haven’t really talked about-“ You began.

“No. We’re not together.” Peter said with a tight smile.

“Got it. Friends with benefits. Nice.” Ned nodded.

“What? No. We’re not that either.” Peter laughed in embarrassment as his face turned red.

“Yeah, no one said anything about that. We’re barely even friends.” You added.

“Barely even friends but you made out? While the earth was shaking? What would Greta Thunberg say?” Ned asked and put his hands on his hips.

“It wasn’t making out, really.” You lied. “It was like a tiny little peck on the lips. It was nothing. Right, Peter?”

“Oh, yeah. Thats so right. We barely even kissed.” Peter added to your lie as he wondered why you were downplaying it so much.

“Excatly. It was no big deal. We were both just scared and panicked so we kissed a little bit. It happens. But it didn’t mean anything.” You replied, making Peter freeze. He had spent so long thinking about the kiss only for you to say to his face that it meant nothing.

“Yeah. It meant nothing.” He said and looked down at his lap. You picked up on the sadness in his voice and looked over at him.

“Right.” You said weakly.

“Less than nothing.” Peter added and rubbed the back of his neck. You sighed and realized you had absolutely messed that up.

“I don’t know. I was really scared too but I did not try to french the lady I was hiding with in the TJ Maxx I was in.” Ned replied.

“You went to TJ Maxx without me?” Peter gasped.

“You know I’m a bigger maxxonista than you are. I can’t stay away.” Ned whispered harshly.

“The earth was crumbling. You could have died there.” You pointed out.

“There’s no place I’d rather spend my final moments in.” Ned shrugged.

“Anyways.” You interrupted. “I should get going. Uh, thanks, Peter. For what we talked about.”

“Yeah. No problem.” Peter smiled sadly.

“So what exactly did you guys talk about?” Ned asked suspiciously.

“Nothing. She just needed help with the Wordle.” Peter lied and you smiled in appreciation at him.

“And she came all the way here to ask? Damn, girl. How hot was that kiss? I’m genuinely asking. I’ve always said Peter and I should kiss just to know what the other is working with but he always says no.” Ned told you.

“You know what? I think you guys should do it. It’ll bring you closer as friends.” You told them.

“See, Peter? She gets it. Now pucker up.” Ned said and closed his eyes as he leaned in.

“No. I’m not kissing you. Not with those chapped lips.” Peter backed up. Ned gasped and touched his fingertips to his lips.

“Okay. Well, bye guys.” You smiled awkwardly and got off Peter’s bed. You were about to leave when Ned spoke up again.

“What was it?” He asked you.

“What?” You asked.

“The Wordle. I really want to get it right on the first try just once and really impress the people at The New York Times.” Ned explained.

“Oh, uh…” You trailed off and looked to Peter for help.

“Heavy.” Peter said quickly.

“Right. It was “heavy”. Now you know. So I’m gonna head out. Bye, Peter.” You waved to him.

“Bye.” He waved and felt that same sadness from the day of the kiss return.

“Bye, Ned.”

“Bye, sweetie.” Ned gave you a big smile before you left the room.

“You dirty fucking liar.” Ned said once you were gone.

“What?”

“That’s not today’s Wordle. That was days ago. You lied. What are you hiding?” Ned asked.

“Nothing. She was just asking me not to tell anyone about the kiss.”

“If it was no big deal then why would she care?”

“Because it was a big deal!” Peter admitted. “It was the hugest deal. She had her hands all up in my hair and I had my hands all up in her sweater but over her undershirt because I’m a gentleman. We were going at it so hard, we didn’t even notice the earthquake stopped.”

“Oh my God.” Ned gasped. “That stuff never happens at TJ Maxx.”

“I know!” Peter jumped in excitement.

“You have to tell me everything. Who kissed who?”

“She kissed me. And unbuttoned three of my shirt buttons.” Peter said and held up three fingers.

“Woah. Three? Isn’t that moving kinda fast?”

“I don’t care. It was the greatest moment of my life. But I also thought it was gonna be the last moment of my life so I don’t know if that had any impact.”

“I doubt it.” Ned shrugged. “But what happens now?”

“I don’t know. We were talking about it but then you came in so we never got to finish. And I thought we were both into it but then she said all that stuff about it not being a big deal so now I don’t know where we stand. What do I do?”

“You need to finish the conversation. If you don’t, this kiss will just be a one time thing and you’ll never know what it meant to her or what it could have become. You need to find out how she felt about it before too much time passes.”

“I don’t know. What if she doesn’t want to talk about it because she’s embarrassed that it happened? Maybe that’s why she doesn’t want to tell anyone.”

“Or maybe she faked the earthquake just to kiss you.” Ned suggested.

“That’s probably it, yeah.” Peter said sarcastically.

“Whatever the reason is, you need to talk to her. And soon.”

“You’re right.” Peter nodded and a silence feel between the boys as Peter thought everything over.

“Should we go to TJ Maxx?” Ned asked after a beat of silence.

“Well, yes.”

Peter didn’t hear from you for a while after that. He wasn’t allowed back at the tower until the reconstruction was complete so he couldn’t even go see you. He still wasn’t sleeping because now he couldn’t stop wondering about your last conversation. Not only had you downplayed the kiss, you also asked Peter not to tell anyone. That left him thinking that you regretted it and it didn’t mean anything to you despite how much it meant to Peter. After two weeks of hearing nothing, Peter got a text from Tony that the tower was open again and he could come back. Peter went over right away to see what Tony had done with the place and much to his surprise, you were there too.

“Oh. Hi.” You blinked in surprise when Peter walked into the main room of the tower.

“Hey.” Peter nodded curtly. “I wasn’t expecting you to be here.”

“Neither was I. Dad? I thought we weren’t letting anyone in until all your Kids Choice awards were back-“

“I never said that.” Tony cut you off. “Never, ever said that. I invited Peter over to thank him for saving all my precious technology. Those webs were the only thing that kept all my billion dollar machines from smashing into tiny little expensive pieces.”

“It was no problem, sir. It’s my job to protect what’s yours.” Peter said without taking his eyes off you. You felt your face heat up and looked down.

“Okay. Weird way to phrase that.” Tony commented. “I also wanted to invite you to dinner tonight. The dining room is fully remodeled and I was gonna have family dinner tonight with all my girls. And you’re my honorary girl so I thought I’d invite you as well. What do you say, kid?”

“Oh, I don’t think he wants to do that.” You said and looked at Peter. He was thinking the same thing; if he came over for dinner, there was a 99% chance the news of the kiss would slip out and Tony would reign hell fire onto Peter.

“Yeah, that’s okay. I appreciate the invitation but my aunt is already cooking something.”

“Oh God. Your aunt is cooking? Then you simply have to come over. I’ve tasted her food. No one should be subjected to that. You’ve been through enough. Please, eat here.” Tony insisted. Peter looked to you for help and you shrugged in defeat.

“Okay. Sure. Thanks. I’ll eat dinner with your daughters and wife. Nothing weird is going to happen if I do that.” Peter nodded stiffly.

“Again, weird way to phrase that. But I’ll see you at 7. Sound good?” Tony asked. Peter looked at you again and you nodded your head.

“Yeah.” Peter sighed. “Sounds good.”

Part two

Tag List 🏷️

@thebookwormlife @imanativeofswlondondahling

@tom-hollands-wifey

@whatareyouhidingpeter @takenbyheartstrings

@imyourliquor-youremypoison @andreasworlsboring101

@peterparkoure

@justcallmehitgirl @jackiehollanderr

@emmamarshmellow @unbelievableholland

@sovereignparker @every-marveler-ever @undiadeestos @eridanuswave​ ​

@solarxmoonchild @canyouevencauseicant

@quaksonhehe @lovelessdagger

@thesuitelifeofafangirl @marshxx @nooneinvitedfascistbarbie

@maybemona

@alexxcorona113 @lethal-wisdom

@pandaxnienke

 @officialsimppage @peterbenjiparker @itsemohours

@freakofmusic25 @tomholland85

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@whereismytelephone @so-very-asleep @white-wolf1940

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@mathletemadison  

@dhtomholland @insomniac-nerd-posts-things @prancerrparkerr

@hallecarey1 @adayasgeorgia @blackwidowisthebest @imawhoreforu

@ciarahollands

@nellabellaa @pinklxmonade @boogywoogywoogy

[hyuny-bunny]

baby said | Y.J. + H. H.

genre: established relationship, rockstar bf x groupie gf x rockstar bff, smut, a touch of fluff, a sprinkle of angst, M X F X M,

wordcount: 6.2K

part I

MNDI (+18) CW: oral (both m and f receiving), unprotected p in v, afab reader, use of she/her/hers/girlfriend, pet names (baby, angel), slight degradation, hyunjin is a whore, voyeurism, riding, squirting, fingering, slight breeding, cumplay, spanking (slightly), teeny bit of angst w/ a splash of fluff, slight overstimulation, threesome, M X F X M, mxm smut

a/n: proof read ? god no. if i miss any warnings please do let me know. also took me several days to pump this out so if you hate it, don't tell me :') peep the nana reference mwahaha

summary: after concert celebration with hyunjin and jeongin takes a turn... for the bed

Since that night in the green room, Hyunjin seemed to have slightly reeled in his behavior. Emphasis on slightly. He remained the flirt he was but less… opportunistic in his advances physically, less pressing you into walls & corners, opting to redirect the energy to his flirty advances. Jeongin noticed his hyung had become more affectionate with him, doting on him like a child or making suggestive remarks. But, no one spoke of that night. 

Jeongin had purposely left that door unlocked. While the target in mind had been Hyunjin, he was willing to expose any poor soul's eyes to the lewd state he had you in that night. Jeongin had lucked out on seeing the look of shock, and terror, mixed with pleasure that painted his face. Finally, he had shown Hyunjin that his attempts would remain futile as long as Jeongin had you wrapped around his finger… Or in this case his cock. 

Tonight was a big night for the band, Minho had made some calls and was able to arrange for a talent scout to watch them play. He happened to be an old friend of Minho’s but the timing never worked out until now. It was a sold-out show in the city, it had left them antsy and anxious for days leading up to the show. Pressure to be perfect, to show this label what they were and could be. You had never seen Jeongin as stressed as he was, it was to the point that sex had been put on pause until after the show. It didn’t offend you but it was hurting to see Jeongin this way without being able just to take the weight off his shoulder for a moment. In consequence, it leaves you starved. You still cuddled every night and his kisses were endless but you missed him inside you. Needed him in you like you needed air to breathe. 

You arrive at the venue, making your way toward the hall that leads backstage, you show your credentials to security before making your way to the green room. The door was closed, Minho leaning against the frame with his head pressed to the wall.

“Everything alright?” You ask, his head finally peaks up to look at you.

“What do you think?” He asks sheepishly, half laughing and shaking his head.

“That bad?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen them this quiet, not even when they’re sleeping” You sigh knowing exactly what he meant.

“Is it alright to go in?”

“Yeah, go for it. The talent scout is here so I’m gonna fetch him” Minho gently grabs your shoulder in passing “Do. Not… Tell them that I’m bringing the scout in. They’ll all just jump up to their feet and mob him like puppies to kibble.”

“Yes, sir” You laugh knowing he’s probably right.

You knock on the door before walking in. Chan is twirling a drumstick in his hand anxiously, Jisung is hunched over in a ball on the floor fidgeting with the scratch in the wood coffee table, and Jeongin is sat back on the couch with a shaky knee biting back his lip. He only ever bites his lip like this when he’s too lost in thought. Matter of fact, they’re all too consumed with their thoughts to have even noticed you’ve walked in. You sit next to Jeongin causing him to snap out of his dazed state. 

“What if I suck?” he asks without looking at you

“You won’t” He’s fixated on something across from him.

“But what if i do?”

“You won’t”

“But-”

“No head. Ever.”

“... that’s a bit cruel don’t you think?”

“Jeongin, look at me” He finally tears his eyes to look at you. His posture softens a bit. You lean forward to kiss his cheek, bringing your lips to his ears.

“You will do amazing like you have always, and I will be there watching, screaming, and cheering you on like I’m the only person in that room tonight.”

His face turns to lean into the hand that caresses his face.

“And when it’s all over, you can have me anyway, anywhere, and however you want, okay?”

There’s a flush across the top of his cheeks with that last comment.

“You know I love you right?” He whispers just low enough for you to hear

“I know” 

He looks gorgeous, the black smokey eyeshadow makes his eyes even more striking against the ginger color of his hair. A decision that was made on impulse this past week but has somehow made him look even hotter. You survey the room once more noticing someone was missing.

“Where’s Hyunjin?” You ask which now has Jisung looking up from the coffee table and has Chan dropping his drumstick.

“He’s in the bathroom probably trying to yank one out, he ran through his speed dial fucks, none could be at his beck and call this week so he’s been particularly moody” Chan says so casually it's almost typical. There’s a slam against the wall coming from the bathroom and a loud shout. “See.”

The door to the bathroom is suddenly yanked open and a very frustrated-looking Hyunjin is standing in the doorway. His chest heaving as he puffs out a breath shooting Chan a glare. He’s wearing a black jacket with a velvet finish, a white tank top that scoops a little too low, and black jeans with docs to finish the look. He doesn’t spare you a glance before walking over to the vanity to put his rings on. You look at Jisung who has also zoned out. You slip off the couch to kneel next to him, he looks at you now at eye level with him.

“ I don’t think I need to tell you that they all wouldn’t be here tonight without you Ji, right?” He silently nods. “Good then lets put on a show none of them will forget.”

You kiss the crown of his head before standing up and turning to Chan.

“And you… just be hot and play those drums”

“The ever-encouraging words of our lovely, Y/N, ladies and gentlemen,” Chan applauds you as you curtsey. Hyunjin is sitting on the vanity looking at you, there’s something about his eyes that sends a shiver straight down to where you’ve been aching all week. It’s the same look he had in his eyes that night he grabbed your hand to feel up his tattoos. 

“You on the other hand,” You point a wavering finger to Hyunjin “You’ll find something to stick your dick in tonight, so for the love of god, try to be less pissy until it’s all over.” 

“I’ll hold out hope, maybe if I’m lucky enough, it'll be you,” He rolls his eyes and lets the comment slip past his lips before he’s able to catch it. It leaves your face flushed and the rest of them shooting a look of bewilderment at him.

The tension is cut by Minho walking back into the room, indicating its almost time for them to go on. On cue, you blow Jeongin a kiss to which he obnoxiously catches and presses to his lips. Hyunjin’s comment rolls around in your head until you get to the bar to grab a drink. You know him enough to know when he’s joking but this didn’t sound like it. The look of shock on everyone's face was just confirmation. You see a seat and ask the guy sitting left of it if it’s taken, he sheepishly says it's all yours. You shed the coat you've been wearing, lined and trimmed in faux fur with intricate embroidery, revealing your long-sleeved mini-black dress. You took note of the way his eyes drank everything in, you smiled looking at him again. 

“Are you a big fan of the band?” You ask trying to make small talk, intrigued by his presence. He wasn’t dressed like anyone else here, he wore a grey hoodie and jeans, and a mop of soft brown hair sat on his head matching the softness of his eyes. 

“Can’t say that I am just yet. This is my first show, and you?”

“You’re in for a real treat. I’m a huge fan you could say. Been to almost every show.” His eyes widen a bit at this. “Oh really? Just here for the music?” He asks with raised brows. 

Without another word, you wink as the lights dim and the crowd screams.

This had to be one of their best shows, the energy from the crowd only amplifying their stage presence. You had never seen them performing as passionately as they had tonight. They all moved and played so perfectly in sync, on top of nailing every drum solo, guitar solo, and long vocal note. The lights had come on and your drink was empty once again. The guy who had been next to you had stood up lingering inside taking a phone call. Minho was the first to come out, he walked to security first to let them know to usher the remainder people out as quickly as possible. 

“They’ll be out soon, the talent scout wants to see them to discuss a deal. The venue said we could have it in the attached restaurant so can you please take these orders and grab us a booth?” Minho asks while frantically looking around.

“Boo if this is my reward for being Jeongins girlfriend, I’m expecting a cut of this deal too” You pout at Minho who is waving you off. 

You give the waiter the order for the 7 of you before sitting in the booth. It's a rounded booth with an extra chair at the open part of the table. You had given the coat to the host at the entrance but your legs felt cold with the mini dress riding up your thighs in this booth. It isn’t long before you see Chan and Jisung, dressed more casually and strutting to the table. You step out the booth to hug them both and congratulate them on the show. Minho is making his way down soon with Jeongin and Hyunjin in toe. Jeongin is grabbing you by the face to give you a kiss leaving you giggling at his enthusiasm. He tries to kiss all over your face before Jisungs groans and interrupts. You end up sandwiched between Jeongin and Hyunjin, which unfortunately does nothing for the ache between your thighs, the smell of their cologne is all you can breathe in, and the roughness of their jeans brushing against your exposed legs. They were both notorious for manspreading, so any thought or notion you had about legroom was out the window. 

Hyunjin seems to either not notice or care about the way your legs try to scoot further from his, you opt to cross your legs over each other, causing your boyfriend to notice and slide a hand onto the thigh that was buried under the other leg, his hand smushed between your thighs and so close to where your panties are dripping for him. Jeongin carries on with his convo with Chan who sits next to him. You take a shallow breath trying to focus on anything else, this piques Hyunjin’s interest.

“What’s got you so worked up?” He asks lowly into your ear while throwing an arm around the back of the booth seating that cages you in. 

“I could ask you the same” You scoff when he reaches to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear.

“I’ll share if you do? Here I’ll make it easy for you,” He riches for his drink tossing back the last of his drink, you watch a droplet slip down the side of his mouth just missing his lips. As he sets the drink down he’s leaning incredibly and his lips are practically pressed against the shell of your ear. “I would love nothing more than to rip that dress off your body, lay you out on this table, and fuck you while your boyfriend watches. And I know you haven't been fucked for days with how tense our Innie has been.”

You cough trying to suppress the moan you let slip, luckily it only has Jeongin turning to check on you with concern. You tell him you choked on air before he gives your thigh a reassuring squeeze and a kiss to your temple. He promised to make it up to you tonight for the dry spell he left you in this week. Hyunjin has a shit-eating grin plastered on his face, his gaze fixed on the guy now walking to your table and waving to Minho. It’s the same guy from the bar.

“Ah finally. Everyone this is Seungmin, he works for Capitol Records.” Seungmin waves coyly until his eyes meet yours. Min goes around introducing you all.

 “This is Jisung, our singer, Chan, our drummer, Jeongin, our lead guitarist, and Hyunjin, our bass player. This is Y/N, our unofficial assistant and resident groupie.” Minho laughs at that comment but earns him a shin kick from Hyunjin. You roll your eyes extending a handshake.

“I’m Jeongin’s girlfriend. I think it's fair to say that Assistants and Groupies have better benefits than I do but it’s nice to meet you. Formally, that is.” You smile coquettishly. You always knew better to play into the flirt act when it would benefit them.

“It’s nice to have a name to put to such a pretty face.” You blush but it's sincere. The rest are side-eyeing you suspiciously Jeongin only has a questionable look on his face, you mouth ‘tell you later’ to him which melts the furrowed brow expression on his face.

“Great news,” Seungmin says as he sits in the seat between “The company wants to sign you a two-record deal. Some terms are negotiable but I’ll need an answer tonight.”

“What are the terms?” Chan is the first to speak.

“55k sign-on bonus, 15% cut on ticket sales, 10% on album sales, and we keep the royalties.”

“No.” Jeongin says firmly. Seungmin has a shocked look on his face.

“We want our royalties, we write everything ourselves. We’ve produced everything ourselves up until now. Our royalties and right to the music is non-negotiable.” Jisung speaks up but there’s not a single thought of consideration for the offer on his face.

Seungmin looks to Minho for help, “I told you they weren’t gonna crack on that,” he says with a shrug. 

“We’d be willing to give a portion of the royalties, but not all.” Hyunjin jumps in.

“20% for you and 80% for us” Chan says.

“You’re twisting my arm on this guys.” Seungmin looks at you all with pleading eyes, it’s so cute it almost works on you. You see why he’s the scout now. He stands up to pull his phone out “Let me make a call.”

He walks away leaving the 6 of you at the table quite, a bit jittery and anxious. Your mind brings you back to what Hyunjin said a few moments ago when you feel fingers brushing the side of your thigh where the hem of your dress rides up. You don’t have a chance to say something to him before Jeongin has a look of distress on his face, his grip on your thigh is getting a little tighter.

“I hate this. Everything about this makes me so anxious.’ He leans his head on your shoulder slumping back. You caress his face making him look at you.

“I can call Yasu, he might be a little helpful. Besides, unless he has some paperwork on him for you to sign at this very moment, which I highly doubt, nothing is final until you put pen to paper.” Yasu was a lawyer your friend of yours, very intimidating to look at with his dark sunglasses always on, the height, the piercings, and his bald head. He was a sweetheart but he had a cold look that always helped when you were going out. 

“Please, could you?” He looks at you with his puppy eyes, you kiss his forehead before pulling your phone out to call him.

“Let me out, I gotta make a call.” You say to Hyunjin as your pulling up Yasu’s contact information. He doesn’t budge, “Hyun.”

“Gotta crawl across, baby, I don’t really feel like moving.” You wait a moment.

He can’t be serious. While you’d normally argue with him, you needed to call Yasu before Seungmin came back.

Fuck it. 

Without a second thought, you put your legs over his lap before scooting yourself across his lap. That’s when you feel it, he’s hard. You're pulling your dress down again.

“You know you’re a real pain in my ass?” You huff

“I was hoping it would be a pleasure”

You look past him at Jeongin who’s still processing what he saw once again, he needs another moment.

You scurry off to a secluded corner to call Yasu.

It’s a brief conversation, he warns you of what to look out for and to call him first before signing anything.

“Hey, can I ask you something unrelated?”

“Of course.”

“If my boyfriend's band member who is also my long time friend, won’t stop flirting with me despite walking in on me and my very loving boyfriend having sex… what do i do to make him stop?”

He says nothing, you can hear him sigh deeply on the other end.

“Hyunjin.” It’s more of a statement then question, you hum in response. “Throw him a bone.”

“In what way?”

“That’s up to you. Goodnight.” 

Your head spinning with ideas. You store it in the back of your mind for a moment before walking back seeing Minho waiving the waiter over to collect the bill.

“What happened?” You ask Jeongin who stands beside Jisung out of the booth.

“We’re renegotiating tomorrow afternoon, let Yasu know we’ll need him if they want to sign,” Jeongin says while wrapping an arm around you. You're texting your friend once more, giving him the details of when and where before he confirms he’ll be there first thing.

Jisung, Chan, and Minho had departed with their goodnights by the time you refocus on your surroundings. Hyunjin is still lingering, standing next to the both of you.

Throw him a bone.

“Hyun, you want to come out with us for a few drinks?” Jeongin asks. It seems someone has already beaten you to the question. Hyunjin is glancing at you once more before that stupid grin is back on his face.

“Sure. I got no one better to do. Sorry, I meant nothing better to do.”

You’re walking down to the speakeasy bar down the street a few blocks over, it was pretty hipster. Dark velvet walls, gold lighting fixtures, and indie shoegaze music. It looked like a burlesque hall but hipster men and women sprinkled everywhere. You often came here for a fun time after a show, it seemed as good of a time as any.

Hyunjin grabbed your drinks while you grabbed a table in the corner tucked from everyone else, your back to being sandwiched between the two of them. You take what was probably your third drink of the night, it’s liquid courage. Every time you felt a buzz like this, your actions were a bit unpredictable. You're swaying a bit, Hyunjin is staring at your lips. The entire time you’ve been sitting here, they were two chatterboxes not sparing an ounce of attention. 

“Truth or dare?” You ask. Jeongin is leaning into your back with his head pressed to your shoulder. 

“Truth,” Hyunjin answers without sparing a glance at Jeongin, he’s intrigued by the mischief in your eyes.

“Do you think about me when you touch yourself?” Hyunjin’s brow raises.

“Yeah. I do. How does that make you feel?”

“Gotta play the game right, Hyunjinnie,” You say taunting a finger at him. 

“Fine, truth or dare?”

“Dare.” Jeongin is pressing his lips into your shoulder.

“Take your panties off.” Your chest is fluttering, your boyfriend groans a bit.

“How do you know I’m wearing any?”

“Prove it, then.” You shake your head while you lift off the seat to pull them down a bit before shimming them off. You pick them up tossing the black thong into Hyunjins lap.

“Good girl.” Jeogin nips at your ear, and you let a moan slip while his hands start to paw at the flesh of your thighs. “Truth or dare, Hyunjin?” 

‘“Dare,” Hyunjin’s head tilts like a confused puppy as he speaks.

“Kiss me.” Your pussy is drolling with the way Hyunjin is looking at you. You feel yourself getting hotter under his gaze.

Without another second passing, Hyunjin’s lips are attacking your own. It was everything you imagined, his lips were soft and full against yours. His kisses are wet from the way his tongue is dancing with yours. He has a hand in your hair pulling ever so softly, yours tangling in his hair while your other grips at Jeongin who sits behind you. He pulls away to bring his free hand up to your boyfriend's face, he grabs him by the hair pulling him in for a kiss. There, smushed between the two of them, you have the perfect view of their lips and tongues fighting for dominance. The wet smacking and saliva connecting their mouths have you whimpering. It was so lewd to be pressed between the two of them while they moaned and gasped into each other's mouths. They both pull back looking at the flush across your face while panting for air. Jeongin is the first to attack your neck on the side closest to him, and Hyunjin follows suit. You let out a whiny gasp, rubbing their thighs up and down before moving to their crotches feeling the strained hard cock’s beneath their pants. Jeongin’s hand makes its way to your exposed cunt, this pulls you out of your lust-filled haze. You remember you're in public again. You’re pulling Jeongin off once more too.

“Hotel. Now. Not here.” His lips are tinted pink and glossy from hickeys he's just sucked into your skin.

He groans but silently agrees grabbing your purse, Hyunjin pulls away from your neck reluctantly. Pulling you with him out of the booth. Jeongin is leading you out of the now crowded bar, holding your hand while Hyunjin keeps a hand on your waist right beside you. Your heart is racing, pounding against your chest. The walk back to your hotel feels like an eternity, Jeongin is repeatedly slamming down the elevator button with impatience. Hyun is pressed firmly against your back, his arm wrapped around your waist and his hand splayed on your tummy. Never been more thankful to have him holding you so firmly in fear your legs would give out any moment. Hyunjin nips at your ear teasingly while you feel his growing erection poke into your back.  The elevator dings, Jeongin dragging the two of you inside. Once the doors shut on you three, Jeongin kisses you once more, his hand rests on your throat holding you in place. Hyunjin is groaning at the sight feeling himself harden even more at the sight of his friend dominating you, his hands are feeling your chest. Hyunjin slips a hand underneath your dress from behind, feeling the way the lack of panties has only made your pussy droll with excitement for him.

You're pulled off the elevator in a swift motion by the two of them, being straight into the room and onto the bed. You're ripping your clothes off while the other two ogle at the scene in front of them, you fully naked in front of them.

"Who's first?" You ask smirking, trail hand between your thighs, turned on by the sight of the two of them staring at you with hunger in their eyes. They turn to look at each other but Jeongin does the unexpected. He's grabbing a fistful of Hyunjin's hair leaning into his ear.

"I want to watch you eat her out first. You can manage that can't you?" Hyunjin is wincing in pain and pleasure before muttering out a yes. "Good, strip your clothes then."

Hyunjin is throwing his clothes off haphazardly around the room, Jeongin sheds the last of his clothes before he settles down on the bed sitting behind you. Hyunjin is down to his boxers, staring at the both of you before sliding them down revealing his cock. He's big like Jeongin, he's not as long but he's just as girthy if not more. You haven't stopped playing with the slick between your thighs, having enjoyed every moment of the strip show, you glance back to see Jeongin, stroking himself looking between you two. Hyunjin is pulling your hands away from yourself pining them above your head. He's laid atop of you, the feeling of his tip so close to your entrance has you whimpering and wiggling under to get some friction.

"Not so fast. I've waited so long for this." He mumbles with his lips just brushing your own, he goes in for a kiss. It's short but filthy with the way his tongue slips. He pulls away, he holds your wrists in one hand to bring his hand down to your face and squeeze your cheeks.

"Open." You open your mouth only for him to spit right onto your tongue. "Swallow."

You do as he says.

"Fuck, I'm gonna ruin you, such a good girl." He glances at Jeongin while moving his way down your body with teasing kisses. Jeongin gets the hint and leans forward to take hold of your wrists. 

When he finally gets to your thighs, you're already whining for him to do anything. He takes his time watching you through lidded eyes, kissing the inside of your thighs until he's faced with your cunt. He licks a strong stripe up flicking your clit leaving you gasping for more, pushing a thigh up and over his shoulder, he starts with slow but firm licks your clit. One arm stretched across your hips to hold you in place while his free hand repeatedly slaps to the outside of your thigh. After enough teasing, his mouth is fully latched to your cunt, messily slurping up every drop of you. You’re screaming out at his torment, looking up at Jeongin who has let up on his grip on your wrist. He's enticed by the way Hyunjin's face is buried in between your legs. He uses his free hand to grope your tit, massaging the boob in his hand and leaning down to kiss you. You're moaning into his mouth when you feel Hyunjin's finger now brushing your g spot. You feel your eyes rolling back and the knot in your stomach about to burst, the feeling of his lips sucking at your clit, and your back arching off the bed begging to feel relief. You can feel Hyunjin’s fingers pick up pace and his tongue flicking repeatedly as you feel your orgasm approaching, and then the rubber band inside you snaps. Legs shaking, body twitching, and cries pouring from your throat as your release drips down Hyunjin’s face. 

With every touch, your skin feels like fire as you lay there trying to come back to the present. You almost missed the way Jeongin pulled Hyunjin from between your thighs, attacking his face with hot, sloppy kisses, desperate to know what he tasted like with your release coating his lips. When you regain consciousness, Hyunjin is flipping you over onto your stomach, lifting your hips in the air.

“Are you okay? Do you want to keep going?” Jeongin is leaned down by your face. You nod and whisper yes, throat tired from the screams you let out moments ago. He kisses your forehead before maneuvering to sit in front of you, his legs spread while his cock leaks with precum. His tip is angry red, begging to be touched. You’re reminded that Hyunjin is behind you when you feel a harsh smack on your ass, fingers playing between your folds. He gripped his cock with one hand, stroking himself a few while aligning your hips into place. You feel the way he rubs his tip against your dripping cunt, you wiggle your hips begging him to just put in.

“Please... Hyun please just fuck me please,” You plead while gripping the bed, nails digging into the comforter.

“Anything for you, my angel. Such a dirty girl crying out for my cock arent you?”

He’s slamming his hips into you giving you little time to adjust to feeling, his cock brushes against your cervix. He’s thicker then Jeongin, you can feel every ridge of him inside you. You yelp clenching down on him which causes Hyunjin to groan loudly, digging his fingertips into your hips. He moves slowly pulling himself out before bottoming out inside you again. Your whimpers only egg him on, Jeongin is fisting himself, all thoughts consumed by your moans and the way Hyunjin is slamming himself in and out. 

“Gonna fill you up so good. Watch me empty my load into your angel girlfriend, Jeongin.”

Hyunjin picks his pace up, the sound of skin slapping echoes in the room while he pounds into you from behind. You attempt to bury your face in the blanket you lay on top but Hyunjin is drunk on the way you cry out in pleasure, he wants you crying out his name while Jeongin watches. He pulls you up by your hair, lifting you to hold yourself up on your hands, he wraps an arm around your throat, leaning over your body to chokehold you. He continues his merciless thrusting and looks up to Jeongin while he grunts burying himself inside you to the hilt. He has a catlike smirk on his face while you cry out again feeling his tip brushing that spot inside you again. Jeongin is rapidly unfolding at the sight, but he can’t bring himself to release yet. Hyunjin lets you go before pulling out of you leaving you crying out at the empty feeling. He flips you onto your back, you roll over like a ragdoll now that every muscle in your body is worn. He settles on his lifting your hips into his lap before beginning to pound into your cunt. He holds your hips in the air while your back is arching once again, he’s so close and this new angel is bring him close to his own climax. Your whole body shakes and pussy clenches down on him, trying to milk every last drop of cum out of him. With a few sloppy thrusts, he climaxes inside you, painting your insides white with his cum. Your 2nd orgasm falters off as you aren’t as close, when you feel him pull out, your legs shake, needing him to finish what he started. You pant in place aching to feel your release. You look up at Jeongin, your boyfriend who watched his best friend just dump his load into you.

“Sit on my face.” It’s all he says, it's all Jeongin needs to say. He couldn’t cum, not when your pussy was dripping with Hyunjin’s cum. He needed to taste. When he finally scoots down the bed low enough for you to straddle his face and hold the headboard for support. He gives your ass a hard slap, gripping your hips down to smother his face, he was going to eat you out like you were his last meal. Without another second to spare, his tongue is dipping in and out between your folds, Hyunjin’s cum pouring onto his tongue. Lapping every drop into his mouth like you were spring water in the desert. 

Hyunjin had been watching this play out. Trying to catch his breath but he’s hard again, he can’t ignore the burning desire in his stomach to suck Jeongin off right now, when would he ever get another opportunity like this again? He makes his way back onto the bed push Jeongins legs apart, before settling down right between them just like he had done to you earlier. You look over your shoulder catching a glance before Hyunjin is spitting on your boyfriend’s cock to start stroking him. You had a burning feeling in your stomach recalling back to that night Innie fucked you on the couch remembering the fever flush that came over you seeing the way Hyunjin drank the image up. You brought back to reality when Jeongin groans into your pussy, overwhelmed by the feeling of Hyunjin taking him all the way down his throat. Jeongin snaps his hips up causing Hyunjin to gag and tighten his throat around him, you grind your hips into his mouth looking down at him while leaving another harsh smack across your ass.

You’re close to cumming again, your hand fisted in Innie’s hair while he moans into your pussy. He picks up the speed rapidly flicking his tongue on your clit, your thighs hurting from both the approaching orgasm and keeping yourself up from suffocating your boyfriend. Hyunjin is sloppily sucking your boyfriend off, pulling off for a moment to lick at his balls before flattening his tongue, and licking a long stripe from his balls to his tip. You once again feel your orgasm washing over you and cum shakily down on Jeongins face, he gleefully takes your hips in his hand helping you ride out his orgasm. You pull yourself shortly after to keep yourself from falling into full overstimulation, Hyunjin still lies between your boyfriend's legs, bringing Jeongin close to his own orgasm. Jeongin lifts his head up just enough to watch him shove Hyunjin’s head further down on his cock once more, holding him in place while he empties himself into his mouth. Out of breath, Innie lays there while Hyunjin slowly pulls his mouth off, letting Jeongins cum drip down out of his mouth back into his cock.

Panting, out of breath laying next to Jeongin, you hug his arm leaning your head on his shoulder. He smooths your hair down kissing your forehead muttering an ‘I love you’. The bed shifts when you feel Hyunjin lie next to you, you're all worn out, tired, and sore. Jeongin is the first to move with shaky legs, he makes his way to the bathroom to run a bath for you. Hyunjin is holding you in his arms, his head is pressed into your shoulder.

“I love you… I love you both so much… this won’t ruin us right?”

You roll over in his arms to look at him, Hyunjin had tears welling in his eyes. You knew him better than anyone else, his efforts to find a home in someone else’s body were all efforts made in a vain mindset, that sex could somehow fix the hole he had in his heart. He was always going to be in love with you, in love with you both. His heart held as much love for you as it did for Jeongin, someone he was never quite sure would ever reciprocate the love in the same way. 

“No, this changes some things but it’ll never ruin us. Come on, let's shower, we can talk things over in the morning. For now, we can hold on to this moment.”

A tear slips past, you wipe the tear away from his cheek rubbing a soothing thumb over his face. Hyunjin walks to the bathroom first, Jeongin comes back out for a moment. 

“Baby, I think you’re gonna have to help me to the bathroom. My legs feel like jello.” You tell Jeongin as laughs, he’s still hard so his erection still stands tall when he stands in front of you.

“I got you,” He picks you up bridal style, you wrap your arms around his neck. He stops for a moment with you like this. You cup his face and kiss him, a sweet one, a reassurance that you love him. He presses his forehead to yours, “I have so many mixed emotions right now… but I know… I need you both… more then ever.”

“I’m right there with you. Now, let's shower please, I’m begging you.”

After having both of them hold you up in the shower to wash, a cooperative effort to clean up the mess you left behind in the bed, you finally settle under the new sheets and comforter after having to ask the hotel housekeeping for shamefully. You wore one of the many band t-shirts Jeongin had, it was just the right amount of worn to feel soft against hot skin. Hyunjin grabbed spare clothes from his room before returning to the shared room for some much-needed cuddling and aftercare. You’d fall asleep sandwiched between the two of them, Hyunjin pressed to your back and your head on Jeongins chest.

You wake up the next morning to your phone blowing up, Hyunjin and Jeongin both passed out in a comatose sleep. You scramble across the bed to reach the dresser.

"Hello?" You ask groggily.

"Where are you and where is the other half of this band? I'm with the rest at the record companies office and the meeting is in 20 minutes." Yasu's voice is like a splash cold water to your face.

"Oh FUCk-" Your shoving the other two awake, shouting something about meeting and company. They both drop to the floor scrambling to find clothes.

"They'll be there soon maybe 10 minutes, 15 at most." You say as you watch the flee out the door.

"I'll try to stall till they get here... you said "they"... did you?..."

"I took your advice... and that's all I'll say."

[greynatomy]

football or football?

lucy bronze x reader

lucy won the very close poll.

been seeing the whole taylor swift and travis kelce thing on tiktok and got this idea.

this became longer than Iithought it’d be. was supposed to be a ficlet. oh, well.

let me know what you think!

-grey

———

For the past two weeks, you’ve been trending on twitter. At first you don’t know what it’s about, but your publicist caught you up saying how there’s a footballer — American footballer — who keeps mentioning you in interviews and on his podcast. It was honestly getting pretty annoying, not just to you, but also to your very jealous girlfriend.

You’d both decided to keep your relationship private, with you being a popular musician and your girlfriend being a top footballer in the league. Except, the media has been labeling your relationship as friends, best friends who support each other. Never once has there been an article where you both are speculated to be dating.

You’ve both been fun with it, being able to not have to hide anything, but with the whole Travis Kelce using your name to stay relevant to the media, your girlfriend is getting fed up.

“I don’t know why he keeps bringing you up? Not once have you mentioned him on anything. ‘The ball is in your court?’ Like what does that mean?” Lucy rambles.

“Honestly, I’m getting tired of it too. I’ve been so busy with touring that I didn’t even know about it until Sarah told me.” You reply, cuddling up to her on the bed, your head on her chest.

“Did Sarah tell you what you should do?”

“Sarah’s pretty much fed up like the both of us so she said it’s up to me. She doesn’t care if I tell him to fuck off, I’d do it anyway without telling her.”

“Didn’t you say he invited you to a game?”

“Yeah, he did. Why?” You we’re getting skeptical with the way Lucy has a smirk and mischievous look on her face.

“Don’t you think it’s time for us to come out, no?”

“Been together four years. Probably long overdue.”

“Well you better tell him that you’d love to accept that invitation, with a plus one of course.”

“I’m liking the way you think.”

———

Now a week later, you and Lucy were dressed up in red, arriving at Arrowhead Stadium. Lucy had a red England bucket hat on that she took off your head. You were being escorted to the friends and family box by security, running into people who recognized you. One hand holding Lucy’s the other waving to people as you passed.

Walking into the box, you were met with lots of people, Travis’ mom was the one to come and greet you.

“It’s nice to meet you Mrs. Kelce.”

“Oh, please call me Donna. It’s so nice to meet you. I’m a big fan of your music, been wanting to meet you ever since Travis said that you’d both started talking.”

“That’s so nice of you, thank you, but unfortunately all the conversations your son had with me are one sided. I’ve never once entertained anything he said. The only time I’ve texted back was to tell him I’d love to attend a game. Never been to an American Football game before.”

“Really? My son said you guys were getting along.”

“Unfortunately for him, we haven’t. But I’d like to introduce you to my partner Lucy.”

“Oh, it’s very nice to meet you as well Lucy. I’m sorry if my son cause any trouble between the two of you.”

“It’s no worries at all. Excited to watch the game.”

“You’ve got an accent. Where are you from?”

“From England.”

“Yeah, I’m a sucker for accents. But let’s not let the situation get in the way and enjoy this game.”

———

liked by fan1, fan2 and 23,749 others

ynupdates yn seen at the kansas chief’s game

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fan1 NO WAY SHES THERE

fan2 MAMA KELCE IS WITH HER

fan3 is ynvis real?!?!

fan4 is everyone gonna ignore lucy bronze right next to her

———

The game just finished. Everyone is cheering as the Chief’s won a game at home. You and Donna hug each other close, jumping up and down. Lucy was actually awestruck by all the people celebrating their team winning, thinking back to all the times fans of hers and her team celebrated like this.

Moments after, you follow Debby to the hallways, no doubt leading to her son. Travis comes out freshly showered and changed a bit after, going straight to his Mom for a hug. Then he turns to you opening his arms out for a hug, so you give him a side hug, not wanting to be mean. Cameras click nonstop towards the two of you.

“It’s nice to finally meet you.” He says to you.

“You as well. Great game you played out there.”

“Thank you. Wanna go somewhere more private so we can hear each other better without the prying eyes?”

“Yeah, sure.”

He leads towards the exit, you following behind him, your hand holding Lucy’s tightly, who Travis hadn’t acknowledged at all. Exiting towards the garage where his and your cars are parked, you relax a bit, relieved to be away from the cameras. Lucy walks a bit off to the side to let you two talk, but still close enough to hear, in case he says something he shouldn’t.

“Im glad you accepted my invite.”

“Yeah, me too. I’ve never been to or seen an American Football game.”

“American Football?”

“Well, yeah. The U.S is the only one that plays this sport. Football is played throughout the world.”

“Wow, you’re gonna be like that?” He says, thinking you’re flirting with him by saying his sport isn’t widely played.

“Be like what?”

“Never mind. But I just wanted to ask if you wanna hang out right now? Get to know each other a bit more.” He steps closer towards you, but you step back.

“I’d have to decline. My girlfriend and I have to get back to England. She’s got a couple Football matches coming up.”

“Girlfriend?” Travis is shocked by the information. “I didn’t know you were even with someone.”

“I’m surprised no one knows. They see two girls and automatically think they’re best friends or something. But, no, been with that girl right there four years. It was very obvious.” You wave Lucy over. “Travis this is Lucy Bronze, my girlfriend—”

“—Actually fiancé. Proposed a couple weeks ago, so there’s still some getting used to. It’s nice to meet you mate. Heard you’ve been talking ‘bout my girl pretty often past few weeks.”

The look on Travis’ face is laughable.

“Uh, yeah. Sorry about that. I didn’t know.”

“Yeah, we’re very private people. But now that you’ve met my girl after being all up in her DM’s, you’d stop using her name to stay relevant yeah? ‘Cause it’s making you look desperate.”

You didn’t interfere. You’re stood off to the side, a proud look on your face.

“Yeah, of course. Never again.”

“The last thing you should talk about in that little podcast of yours is a public apology using her name for fame like many men have in the past.”

After a moment of Lucy staring at Travis she speaks up again. It was a bit funny how intimidated he looked at Lucy, seeing as she’s almost a foot shorter than him

“Well, mate, we best be off. I’ve got some Football to be preparing for, my girl by my side always. Best of luck to you. Hope you find someone that isn’t taken.”

With that, she takes a hold of your hand, leading you to the car. You give him a little wave, leaving him speechless in the middle of the parking garage.

———

liked by leahwilliamsonn, lucybronze and 10,375,829 others

yourinstagram Thank you travis for the invite! Had a lot of fun at my first ever American Football game with my Fiancé. Congrats to you and your team on the win! #KansasCityChiefs

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lucybronze very different from football for sure

↳ yourinstagram very different

leahwilliamsonn where was my invite?

↳ yourinstagram you didn’t get one

↳ leahwilliamsonn rude

fan1 SHES ENGAGED

fan2 ynvis isn’t real thank god!

fan3 OHMYGOD ITS LUCY BRONZE ALCJHD

fan4 this is a very polite way of saying ‘keep my name out your fucking mouth’

[kyletogaz]

the fall: part one cw: angst, hurt/no comfort, mentions of sex summary: your situationship? with kyle leaves you suffering part two

your day was going just fine until kyle showed up on your doorstep. you don’t know how long you stood at the door, unmoving, with your hand on the doorknob, while you try to decide if you should answer him or not.

go away, go away, go away, go the fuck away.

he doesn’t leave though. he knows you’re there, he always knows where you are. he could sniff you out like a goddamn dog if he wanted to. “open the door, sweetheart.” it’s the way he says it that makes you tense up. you know exactly what kyle means. open the door or i’ll open it for you.

with a scowl on your face, you unlock the door and yank it open. you’re surprised the shit doesn’t fly off the hinges with the amount of force you’ve used. “what the fuck do you want, kyle?”

kyle raises an eyebrow at your tone, before flashing you a smile that you wish to wipe from his face. “you don’t sound happy to see me, love.” the look of annoyance on your face doesn’t seem to bother him at all, he’s used to it by now.

you’re not happy to see him. he’s got you so worked up already, you have to supress the urge to slam the door in his face. and maybe you should have done just that, because before you can even get a word out, kyle is letting himself into your home. he brushes past you without a word, duffle on his shoulder, immediately making you regret opening the door for him in the first place.

“kyle, you can’t just—i don’t remember offering you an invitation to walk into my home,” you hiss at him angrily, before closing the door and locking it. when you turn to him, he’s standing there in your foyer with that stupid pretty face of his. “i’m gonna ask you again, and this time, i expect an answer. what do you want?”

as if you don’t already know what he wants.

kyle eyes the bare foot you tap impatiently against the floor for a second, before his eyes meets yours. “i needed to see you. i know you asked for space, but i’ve missed you, sweetheart,” he explains, while tugging his boots off and shedding his jacket, revealing those arms that have held you down while you got fucked six ways to sunday.

did you miss me or my pussy?

kyle’s words are as soft as his pretty brown eyes. it’s bullshit. you almost give in like you usually do, and that’s the problem. every time he tells you he misses you, you rip your chest open and carve out a piece of your heart for him to take. that’s all kyle ever does, is take. and you let him, because you love him, even when you know you deserve better than what he gives you.

“don’t call me that!” a deep frown settles on his face at your words, the harshness of your tone surprising him. you’ve never been this way with him before.

good, you think to yourself. he could act like everything was okay between the both of you if he wanted to. but you? you were done pretending. this arrangement was hurting you more than you cared to admit out loud. no labels. it was something you both agreed on. it was easy at first, with both of you coming and going as you please. and then it wasn’t. kyle started occupying your space longer than he should have, longer than you should have let him. it never bothered you, because you really enjoyed his company.

kyle was funny, pretty, sweet, a good soldier, and an amazing cook. whenever he was on leave, he would take you anywhere you wanted to go. he’d even introduced you to his sisters and the men he worked with. kyle was the type of man you’d take home to meet your family, with no hesitation. how could you not fall in love with someone like that?

but now, you really wish you hadn’t. you were almost at your breaking point, not knowing how much more of this you could take.

when kyle asks you what’s wrong, the words you should have spoken gets lodged in your throat. you just shake your head and shrug.

i can’t do this anymore. i’m in love with you and i want more than you’re willing to give. if i offer you another piece of my heart, i will be left with nothing.

“come here, darling.” your eyes fall shut at the sound of his voice because you can’t resist. you feel like a puppet on a fucking string when your body moves in his direction.

when you’re finally in kyle’s arms, your face buried in his chest, as you will the ache in your heart to go away, he strikes. kyle tips your head up and pulls you into a bruising kiss. you clutch at his forearms to keep yourself grounded while you moan into his mouth. he has every intention on making you forget why you’re mad at him. it isn’t until he’s got his tongue in your mouth, and his hands are gently squeezing your ass, that you jerk away from him with a shake of your head.

“i can’t—we need to talk about this, kyle.”

“i promise we’ll talk later. i need you right now,” he murmurs as he closes the distance between you two. you open your mouth to argue, but it’s no use. he tilts his head to the side as he studies you. “did you miss me?”

kyle’s been gone for almost a month and the calls between you two had been limited. anytime you tried to approach the subject of your relationship, or lack of one, you never accomplished anything. derailment was kyle’s favorite tactic. and when you couldn’t take it anymore, you gave him an excuse to get him off the phone, so he couldn’t hear you cry.

“no.” you hate how the lie spills from your lips and travels to kyle’s ears, because you wish it were true. you hate the way he laughs, low and soft, because he knows it’s a lie.

you hate the way his eyes darken as he drinks you in. “lying? i thought we promised each other we would always tell the truth.”

you’re glaring at kyle before you can even stop yourself. you’re about to open your mouth to tell him where he could shove his promises, when you see him turn away and head straight down the hallway. you stand there, helplessly, as kyle waits for you to follow. you should stand your ground. you’re better than that. but it feels like he’s tugging on an invisible cord that connects the both of you, so whether you want to or not, you follow him anyway.

and when you wake up the next morning, to kyle’s absence and an apology text, you come to the realization that you only have yourself to blame. kyle wasn’t yours to keep. you should have kept your word. you never should have broken the promise you made to yourself. and it’s too late, you can’t take anything back. you can’t erase the way kyle had you pressed into the mattress the night before, with your legs over his shoulders while he buried his tongue between your slick folds. or the way he drove his cock in and out of your pussy while your pleasure filled cries bounced off the walls of your bedroom.

the only thing you can do is weep as you sit on the edge of your bed, with your head bowed and shoulders slumped.

you should have known better.

-

a/n: i’m so sorry. also that line in the beginning about him always knowing where you are….yeah :)

thanks for reading! comments & reblogs are greatly appreciated!

masterlist

[diorsluv]

casual , part 12

“ knee deep in the passenger seat and you’re eating me out ”

series m. list previous chapter next chapter

( socialmedia!au )

edwards.73

liked by yourusername, trevorzegras, and 204,167 others

edwards.73 appreciation post

tagged: yourusername

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yourusername 🥰

→ edwards.73 ❤️

rutgermcgroarty you actually did it

→ edwards.73 yea why would i not

→ rutgermcgroarty so is this like… a hard launch… ???

→ edwards.73 yeah i guess so

username18 OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GODDD

username26 YEAHHH LES GO HE DID IT

mackie.samo was this purely to spite rutger

→ edwards.73 maybe, maybe not

→ rutgermcgroarty why r we using the govt name

markestapa AYYYY

→ edwards.73 yes mark i hard launched

→ markestapa i can see that

username57 this was. shocking!!!!

username12 LOOK AT HER SHES SO CUTE HERE

adamfantilli when did this occur

→ edwards.73 right now

→ adamfantilli did she even know you two had a label

→ edwards.73 she labeled us first i just never corrected her 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

→ mackie.samo yikes

→ luca.fantilli uhhh

→ rutgermcgroarty 😬😬😬

→ dylanduke25 thats not really…

→ edwards.73 what

→ edwards.73 is that not a good thing???

colecaufield this got less cute as i read more and more comments

→ edwards.73 i’m confused

vivianliu doesn’t seem very appreciative

trevorzegras YEAHHH KID

liked by edwards.73

username46 good thing happened from bad intentions

username70 oh look it’s a hard launch

username35 oh…

lhughes_06 i have no words

_quinnhughes nope don’t like this one

jackhughes 🙃

_alexturcotte iiiiiii don’t know how to feel about this

username64 these comments r very… not as lively as they should be

username79 🥳🥳

yourusername

liked by lhughes_06, adamfantilli, and 276,829 others

yourusername blue days for the blue gals 💙

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luca.fantilli ur caption makes no sense

→ yourusername blue = sad

→ luca.fantilli ur sad???

username28 personally i think you should drop him

username16 would now be a good time to exercise my weekly #RUTSUPREMACY privileges

liked by yourusername

→ username35 oh my god she liked the comment

vivianliu YOU NEED A YELLOW DAY. BECAUSE YELLOW = HAPPY. BLUE - BLUE + YELLOW = HAPPY.

→ yourusername i had an aneurysm reading that

→ vivianliu i had an aneurysm writing it

→ vivianliu BUT REGARDLESS IM STILL RIGHT AND U KNOW IT

→ yourusername mmm

→ vivianliu please babe i just want to see you smile again

lhughes_06 did he make u sad.

→ yourusername hi lukey

→ lhughes_06 im taking that as a yes

→ lhughes_06 next time i see that little shit someone’s gonna have to hold me back

→ vivianliu luke! you. don’t. know. how. to. fight????

→ lhughes_06 HOLD ME BACK

username61 awww the outfits are cute

username57 our little fashion queen ⁉️

rutgermcgroarty how about instead of moping we go have a little best friends day at mini golf

→ yourusername im not moping 🤬

→ vivianliu you’re both getting destroyed

→ rutgermcgroarty vivi we all know what your golfing skills are like

→ yourusername rut come pick me up in an hour

→ vivianliu u cant putt for shit dont even talk to me mcgroarty

trevorzegras you’re not updating me on any of this

→ yourusername IM SORRY TREV

→ trevorzegras don’t call me don’t text me 😕😕

username81 girl i need u as my personal stylist

→ username50 FR

adamfantilli i fw those blue pants

→ yourusername ofc you do

→ adamfantilli wdym by that 😢😢

→ yourusername nothing but i am surprised that u didn’t bring up the blue jacket

→ yourusername 😉😉😉😉😉😉

→ adamfantilli you’re not funny

→ luca.fantilli she’s pretty funny

_quinnhughes isn’t that mom’s old skirt

→ yourusername yeah why 🤨

→ _quinnhughes just wondering

→ jackhughes he thinks it looks good on u rosie

→ yourusername AWWW thanks guys ☹️☹️

username5 i’ve never seen someone so pretty before oh my god

colecaufield i’m ready to square up if you need me

→ yourusername oh god

→ colecaufield gonna give that douche a knuckle sandwich 🤬

→ _alexturcotte why are you so violent all of a sudden

→ trevorzegras you punched a wall turcs shut up

edwards.73 why

→ yourusername idk

→ edwards.73 ok

username16 UR SO PRETTY HE DOESNT DESERVE U

jackhughes i told you 10 times be careful with him

→ yourusername will he do what it takes to survive??

→ jackhughes please not again

→ markestapa is that what i think it is

→ mackie.samo is it that one play with the man bun guy

→ luca.fantilli DID SOMEONE SAY HAMILTON

→ rutgermcgroarty no one said hamilton

→ dylanduke25 I HOPE THAT YOUUUUU

→ yourusername BURNNNNNNNN

next chapter notes ) i haven’t updated this in a week guys am i cooked?!?! wanna start that rut au so badly but i don’t want it to flop and i also don’t wanna put another au on hold 😔😔

tags: @dancerbailey3 @hughesfein @loveforaugust @alwaysclassyeagle @love4ldr @inhoodmood @bunting58 @crazycat-ladys-blog @smoooore @bunbunbl0gs @lilasianmeat

[cross-word]

GOOD LUCK, BABE

after years Ethan still regrets what he did to you.

Word count: 1162

When I first started to date Ethan I knew he had a best friend Amanda that everyone thought he was dating. All of his ex’s used to warn me on social media but I was never the jealous type.

That was until I received a phone call from a random number in the middle of the night I answer to hear lewd noises, moaning and someone moaning a name “ah, fuck Ethan keep doing that” it took me forever for my eyes to adjust to the light difference but once I realized what was going on.

I realized I’ve seen that number before. On Ethan’s phone labeled as Amanda, my heart broke as I heard her moan his name over and over again “why do you have your phone out” I hear him say, grabbing the phone flipping so that the screen was facing him to see me watching “y/n..” before he can say anything else I hung up going back to sleep.

The next day I felt numb watching your boyfriend fuck his best friend that everyone warned you about is humbling. The whole day I could see Amanda smirking at me from the peripheral vision Ethan kept trying to talk to me. His excuses going into one ear and out, “that was not what you thought”, “that was the first time I ever did that”.

As the day went on Ethan finally did it, he cornered me enough to finally get me to talk to him “please baby” he pleaded “no.” I said in a dead voice “what?” He asked “I said no. You can’t fix this. I watched you fuck your best friend you can’t get back from that no amount of pleading can change that” I told him he stood there hurt. The audacity. “No, baby please I’ll do anything I’ll block her, I’ll get rid of her from my life please just don’t call it off I’m begging” he said.

“I hate you Ethan” I told him, pushing him out of my way. Ethan stood there watching my body as I walked away, as I grew distant from Ethan I heard him and Amanda argue.

That was 15 years ago, that experience taught me that love isn’t a guarantee of trust.

I stood there in the Walmart at almost 9pm picking up groceries for my mom. It was Christmas when I was visiting her when I heard a voice too familiar “y/n?” I turn to see Ethan. He looked older, not in a good way. It seemed like he suffered for those 15 years I didn’t see him.

“Oh, hi Ethan” it was awkward for sure two grown adults that used to have history just staring at each other like they were soul mates. “Ethan baby” I hear coming from behind him a woman I stood face to face with the two people who betrayed me 15 years ago.

“Oh. You're back in town..” Amanda said, staring at me eyes darting to Ethan who hasn’t spoken since we locked eyes, sensing tension rise I walk away. “WAIT” Ethan yelled I paused hoping he wasn’t about to say what I think he will. “Do you wanna come over to our house for dinner to catch up?” He asked. I turn to face him “no, I think it’s best if we don’t talk at all” I say leaving him and Amanda in the aisle.

“Are you okay honey?” My mom knocked me out of my daze. “yeah I’m fine” I smiled at her as petite came up next to me looking for food “I think I’m gonna sleep early mom” I said kissing her head walking back to my childhood room.

A loud ringing hit my ear in the middle of the night. I see my phone vibrating showing me a number, immediately seeing the number “ugh, what is it now” I pick up “is he with you?” Amanda asked in a panic.

“You’re joking right” I asked “no. I had a bad feeling and I woke up. I turn around and I see him gone. Please I’m begging is he with you” she sobs through the phone “listen I don’t care about Ethan or you anymore the faster you two leave me alone the better please stop calling me” I tell her hanging up.

I walk downstairs to grab a cup of water to see headlights flashing into the living room. I wondered who would be driving at this time of day but deep down I knew. I unlocked the door to see the car turn off and Ethan walk out.

Towards me. “Your wife is looking for you” I tell him bluntly “I’m sorry” he says completely falling to his knees melting all the snow on the porch.

“I woke up next to her and I realized I don’t want her, the only reason I stayed with her was because I felt bad for the way we ended,” he confessed with his head in his hands. “I don’t have anything going on for me y/n I’m considered to half of the people in this town as Amanda’s husband” he sobbed. “All I can think about after I saw you at Walmart was the way you talked to me the way you looked at me the way it seemed like with you my whole life was fulfilled” he stared at me tears rolling down his cheeks.

“And what do you want me to do about it?” I asked him, colder than the winter night. Do you want me to say I told you so? Cause if it gets you back to your crying wife I will” I said sternly.

“Ethan” I say crouching down to face level with him “were shoelaces attached together my love, but we were cut no matter how much you’d like to connect us together again it will never happen the tear and used shoelaces will never stay together that’s why you buy new ones” I breathed in “Ethan it’s time to move on, I moved on the second I got that call in the middle of the night, go home. Your wife thinks you're cheating on her” I tell him, walking back inside and locking the door.

As I walk down the aisles of grocery I pass a person “I’m sorry I slept with Ethan” Amanda told me as I pass her we both stopped but the difference is Amanda looked back and I didn’t “you and him need to get over that, I don’t care anymore you two are the only ones keeping that flame alive, maybe it’s your subconscious feeling bad but either way, work it between you two or breakup” I tell her walking away never to look back again.

I woke up in my New York apartment to a voicemail. I recognized it as Ethan’s number. “Amanda asked for a divorce, please answer me I want to be with you” I sighed as I blocked his number.

[bordysbae]

can you do “i need you right now” with trevor? maybe he gets hurt on the ice?

“my girl”

trevor zegras x fem reader

word count: 0.7k

warnings: cursing and blood

“cmon trevor! get up!” you shout, trying to maintain your panic. dani terry, the only person who knows that you and trevor are a bit more than best friends, looks at you with pity. “y/n, calm down he’s gonna be okay, i promise.” “he isn’t fucking getting up!” you say, biting your nails. dani pulls your hand from your mouth, “please calm down y/n, i promise he’s okay. it’s trevor he’ll be fine” she says, gently rubbing your shoulder. suddenly, trevor attempts to stand up and wobbles slightly, grabbing his shoulder as he does. he’s quickly taken off of the ice, only making you even more nervous. “oh my god dani, this is horrible!” you say, entangling your fingers through a chunk of your hair. “shh, it’s okay i promise. they’ll come get you if it’s anything super serious, i’ve gone through this with troy before, it’s gonna be alright i promise,” she smiles pitifully.

after about 10 minutes of not knowing anything, the period ends and you’re left with another 15-ish minutes of not knowing anything. or so you thought. “excuse me mrs. y/l/n, trevor is asking for you. could you come with us?” “wait what?” “are you y/n y/l/n? trevor is asking for you in the locker room, he keeps saying ‘get y/n y/l/n, i need her right now’ so we asked around and a teammate said it was you.” “yes that’s me! take me to him!” you exclaim, quickly standing up from your seat, leaving dani. “i’ll come back okay?” “no worries hun! go get your man!” she winks, making you chuckle slightly.

you enter the locker room and see a bloodied up trevor. his shoulder has a bag of ice on it, and his nose is dripping blood slightly. you gasp at the sight, catching trevor’s attention. “oh hi pretty” he says flashing his cheeky smile that always makes your heart flutter. “are you okay? what the hell happened?” you say, walking slightly closer to him but still keeping your distance. “c’mere you’re not gonna hurt me by sitting next to me. i called you back here for a reason, no need to stand so far away love” he says, patting the spot next to him. you walk over and sit on the opposite side of his injured shoulder.

“i take it you’re not going back in the game for the third period?” “nah, i’m probably out for awhile. i really hope it’s not THAT serious and that i can come back by like next week.” “i’m sorry trev, he really slammed you into the boards. i was literally freaking out, you can even ask dani” “you were? that’s cute” he says poking your side. “yes! i was like biting my nails and tugging on my hair, i was screaming at you to stand up” “oh so you care about me huh?” he smirks, making you roll your eyes. “yeah yeah whatever, you’re my best friend so of course i do.” he tenses up slightly as you say this. you both fall silent for a moment, knowing what you just said wasn’t true. you guys aren’t just best friends, you both want more, but neither of you want to put a label on it. you guys call it ‘best friends who kiss often.’

“y/n.” trevor breaks the silence. “yeah?” you say turning your head to face him. “i don’t want to just be best friends.” he says, catching you off guard. “w-what?” “you heard me, i want more. i want to ditch the best friends who kiss thing, hell y/n, i never wanted that. i’ve always wanted you to be my girlfriend, to be my girl.” “trevor i-“ he cuts you off, “y/n, will you be my girlfriend?” “yes, yes of course i will! is that even a question?” you say, making him chuckle softly. “shut up and kiss me” he says, grabbing your cheek and pulling you in. you guys pull apart a few moments later, slightly out of breath. “why are you so demanding tonight?” you giggle, unsure of why he’s being so different than usual. “cause you’re the only thing distracting me from my killing shoulder” he says, pulling you under his non injured arm.

[kingdaddydaichi]

⛓ title: the authoritarian (spinoff of the disciplinarian - make sure your mature comm label is set to show)

⛓ pairing: cop!savage Dom!daichi sawamura x f!bratty sub!reader

⛓ wc: 4.9k

⛓ warnings: nsfw, mdni, cop!daichi, safe/sane CNC (con noncon), color system, ravishment roleplay, savage Dom/bratty sub dynamic, lots of degrading/patronizing pet names, brat taming, punishment, degradation, praise, impact play: spanking/belting, bondage/restraint (handcuffs), oral (m/f receiving), spitting, throat fucking/face fucking, corruption, Domspace, hair pulling (f receiving), partner ownership/possession, clothed sex, multiple orgasms, overstim, (light) subdrop, daichi's impeccable aftercare

⛓ notes: one of the perks of your boyfriend being a cop is that he's really good at roleplaying as one. i needed a stick to bite down on while writing this jfc.

[ 4:17 PM ]

You set your phone down on the vanity, exchanging it for your moisturizer to begin your post-shower ritual. On evenings after he worked the day shift, you and your long-time boyfriend would often take your time making dinner together. You would pour cocktails and listen to music, talk about your days, and laugh at each other’s antics as you worked side-by-side in the kitchen. He was due home in about an hour, but you were already smiling to yourself, anxious to spend some quality time with him tonight. 

You slipped on your most comfortable tank top and a dangerous pair of booty shorts that were too indecent to wear anywhere else. Just as you reached for the blow dryer, you nearly jumped out of your skin when a thunderous knock came at the front door. Everyone who mattered to you knew better than to show up unannounced, more as a safety measure than anything else. 

You waited, not wanting to turn the blow dryer on until you were sure the knock wouldn’t come again, but it did. Louder. You grabbed your phone and held your thumb over Daichi’s number as you quietly hurried just outside your bedroom, heart booming in your chest. The third time wasn’t a knock - it was a bang followed by an all too familiar voice.

“POLICE! OPEN UP!”

Oh. Uh-oh.

You collected yourself and called back. “Coming!” 

You reached the door, unlocking and opening it to find a classically handsome law enforcement officer standing just outside the threshold, the short sleeves of his shirt straining against his tan biceps.

“Are you Ms. (L/n)?”

“Y-yes.”

“I have a warrant to search the premises, ma’am. I’m gonna have to ask you to step aside.” His tone was confident and stern.

“A warrant? For what?” you asked incredulously.

“Unregistered weapons,” he muttered, looking you up and down, undressing you with his eyes.

“What’s your name and badge number?” you said with a suspicious squint.

“Sawamura. 123194. Now, are you going to step aside or do I need to use force?”

You propped your hand on your hip, defiantly staring up at him for a moment before moving aside. “Fine, go ahead. I’ve got nothing to hide.”

The policeman turned to walk through your foyer and into the dining room. Closing the front door, you followed him to your kitchen and watched as he opened a few of the cabinets.

“Go lock the door, sweetheart.” He looked over his shoulder at you with a dark smirk. “You don’t want just anyone walking into your home, now do you?” 

“Oh, you mean like you just did?” you smarted off. 

He turned and walked towards you before crowding your space. “Trust me, honey. I’m not nearly as dangerous as those tight little shorts you’re wearing.” He reached behind you to turn the deadbolt, his face so close to your neck when he leaned in you could feel the heat of his breath against your skin. “You can never be too careful,” he muttered.

Just when you thought he was going to try something inappropriate, he stood up and did an about face before walking through your living room, ignoring several spaces perfect for hiding things: drawers, shelves. Very suspicious behavior.

“So, is there anything in particular you’re looking for, Officer?”

His soft cock twitched against his thigh at the use of his title. “Why don’t you let me ask the questions and you just do the answering.” It was far more a firm assertion than a harmless suggestion. 

You stayed several feet back as he walked into your bedroom and started opening your dresser drawers. When he looked inside the one where you kept your panties and bras, he picked up a pair of lacy underwear and hung its string waistband from his index finger. 

“This looks suspicious. I’ll be taking these as evidence,” he said, pushing them into his pants pocket.

He looked around a little in your bathroom before making his way back out and towards the front of the house again.

“Are you satisfied now?” you said, crossing your arms under your braless chest and pouting up at him. You watched as his gaze traveled from your lips down to where your erect nipples were pressing against the soft cotton of your tank top.

“No, ma’am, I’m definitely not satisfied yet. I’m gonna have to ask you to turn around and put your hands against the wall.”

“What? Why?”

“What did I say about asking questions? Hm? Now turn the fuck around and put your hands on the damn wall.”

You reluctantly did as he told you. A simple pat down wasn’t going to be any more intrusive than pocketing a pair of your panties, right?

He moved in closer, beginning his search at your wrists, his warm hands skimming your bare skin and giving the occasional squeeze as he worked his way over your shoulders and down your back. He put his hands around your waist and moved them up and down, his fingers grazing the sides of your breasts before sliding his hands under your shirt. His skin felt like fire against yours as he cupped your tits, fanning his rough fingertips back and forth over your hard, delicate nipples. His front was flush with your back now as he pushed his hips against you, pressing his semi-hard shape into the plush of your butt. 

“Y-you don’t have to touch me there, asshole,” you said, pushing away from the wall, trying to face him before he forced your hands back where they were.

The loud cracking sound registered before the pain when he spanked your bottom. “That was very disrespectful, ma’am. When you speak to me, you address me as ‘Sir’ or ‘Officer’. And the next time your hands come off that wall without my permission, I’m putting you in handcuffs. Understood?” The juxtaposition of his calm exterior and the danger in his voice made your pussy wet.

“Y-yeah. Yes,” you said, your voice not much more than a whisper. Damn, he was good at his job. You didn’t want to admit defeat or submit so easily, but you reasoned that being too much of a brat could make things worse. Perhaps it was time to start picking your battles.

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, Sir,” you said begrudgingly through clenched teeth.

“Atta girl,” he praised. “Now, spread those pretty legs for me,” he ordered, kicking your feet apart. 

He continued his search along your hips and outer thighs, all the way down to your ankles before making his way back up each of your legs, one at a time. It was definitely unnecessary for him to frisk your bare thighs as thoroughly as he did. He stroked and palmed your naked skin, his hands moving so far up between the apex of your legs that his fingers grazed the damp material of your shorts that just barely covered your pussy.

“Hmm…you hiding something in those shorts, sweetheart?”

“No!” You tried to turn and push past him, but he pinned you to the wall again, tsk’ing you as he reached for his handcuffs on the back of his duty belt. He pulled one of your wrists behind your back and you felt the cold steel close with a quick series of clicks. You tried to pry your other wrist from his grip, but he easily overpowered you with a humorless chuckle before tightening the other cuff around it. 

“Owwwch! Fuck, that’s tight!”

“Color?”

“Green.”

“I tried to go easy on you, but you’re not being very cooperative. I did warn you so you have only yourself to blame for being in this position.”

He squatted so he could take a look inside the legs of your shorts and sure enough, he could see your plump pussy lips. “No panties, hm? Yep, you’re definitely hiding something from me,” he muttered, moving the material to the side to get a better look before brushing two fingertips along your naked slit. 

You squirmed, legs feeling a little shaky. “That’s not necessary! You shouldn’t be touching me down there!” you whined. 

“Oh honey, as wet as that little pussy of yours is, I’m about to do a lot more than just touch you down there.” He stood up and when he leaned in, you felt something hard press against your bottom. “I have probable cause to perform a cavity search, ma’am, so I’m gonna need you to be a good girl and cooperate.” He pushed his fingers inside the elastic waistband of your skimpy shorts and began circling his middle fingertip around your hard bud. 

You tried to suppress your moan, but choked a little when he pushed his thick digit inside your hole. “N-no! Stop! Don’t put your finger inside me!” You tried to push him away with your back, but all you managed to do was grind harder against his dick as it strained against his uniform.

“Go ahead and struggle all you want, peach, but I’m getting what I want out of your wet little cunt!” He added a second finger and began pumping, cupping his palm against your clit as your pussy coated it with more of your need. His left hand slid beneath the thin material of your top and grabbed one of your tits, kneading it before rolling and tugging on your nipple between his thumb and finger. 

You kept telling him to stop between muffled moans and heavy pants, but your body betrayed you. The pressure inside you was pushing you past the point of shame, edging you closer to bliss.

With his mouth pressed to your ear, he growled, “That’s it, pretty lady. I can tell you wanna give it to me.” He pumped harder, faster, palm slapping your wet clit as he rubbed feverishly on your sweet spot. 

“Oh…no! Don’t! G-gonna make me-“ Your words gave way to an open-mouthed gasp, followed by a loud moan. 

“Good girl. Come on my fingers, sweetheart,” he demanded and with two more hard thrusts, you did as you were told, crying out as your tight walls sucked on his big fingers. “Yeah, just like that.”

He slowly pulled his soaked digits out of your puckering hole and held them in front of your face. “You see the mess you made on my fingers? Lick ‘em clean.” You started to tell him to go to hell, but he bullied his fingers inside your mouth as soon as you opened it. “Suck,” he demanded. You swirled your tongue around his large fingers, lewdly sucking your essence from them. He dragged his hand away from your mouth, wiping your saliva down your neck and across your chest. 

“Happy now, pervert?” you slurred, still coming down from your high. 

“What the fuck did I say about the proper way to address me? Call me a disrespectful name again and there will be consequences! Now, turn around and get on your knees.”

You turned around to face him, but instead of getting on your knees, you watched wide-eyed as Officer Sawamura palmed and grabbed himself. The size and shape of his hard cock was evident by the impressive print in his pants, a small dark spot forming where his precum had been leaking out. 

“What are you gonna do?” you asked, eyes flicking up from his enormous bulge to look at him.

“Again, I’m the one asking the questions. On. Your. Fucking. Knees. Now!”

His tone was dark and urgent; there was a hunger, a desire in his voice that could only be described as primal. You decided not to push your luck and did as you were told. You knelt down, a little wobbly without the aid of your arms to help balance you. You kept your eyes on him, watching for what he would do next.

“I need to see if you’re hiding anything inside that filthy mouth of yours,” he rasped, unbuckling his belt, “and, well…I’ve got something that’ll reach deeper than my fingers.”

You watched as he unzipped his pants before reaching in and wrestling his straining erection out through the hole, a tuft of black hair visible at its wide base. Thick and heavy with a dark tan complexion, his cock bounced mere inches from your face. The way the veins rolled under his grip as he pumped it in his fist made your clit twitch. Precum leaked from his slit, a long string of the clear liquid hanging from the tip as he brought it to your lips.

“Open up,” he said, voice gravelly with desire.

You leaned back, moving your head to the side. “Not gonna suck your dick.”

He grabbed your jaw and squeezed hard, forcing your mouth open. “I’m not asking you to suck it, sugar. I’m telling you.”

“N-no, ‘s too big! Not gonna fi-mmffphh…”

The mean cop forced his salty cockhead into your mouth and all you could do was take it. “That oughta shut you up. Try exercising your right to remain silent, sweet cheeks, and suck my fucking dick.” You were at his mercy, such as it was, as he began to move his tip in and out. He loved the way your lips stretched around his meaty girth as he lubed himself up with your spit. 

“Mmnhnn…you’re gonna take me a little deeper now, sugar.” He held your head between his hands, guiding you in time with his slow, shallow thrusts that gradually came faster, deeper. 

All you could do was keep your mouth open as wide as possible, tongue hanging out as far as it would go as he forced his tip into your throat. Tears began to leak from the corners of your eyes and when he felt you gag on him, he pulled out.

“Color?” he asked through the haze of his lust. “Green as fuck. Go, baby,” you said, saliva still connecting your bottom lip to his engorged cock.

“Did I tell you to close your slutty mouth? Open it,” he ordered, grabbing your jaw. You obeyed, but winced as he bent forward and spit in your open mouth. “Mmhh fuck, sweetheart,” he said, pushing between your lips again. “Gonna make you choke on this cop dick, yeah?”

You gurgled around his tip as he pushed into your throat. He held himself there, watching your eyes as they burned and watered for him. Putting one hand on the wall behind you, he leaned forward to force your head backwards, opening up your throat a little more as he pushed himself in as deep as he could. The rhythmic spasming started in your throat again and when he pulled out, his cock was followed by a gush of spit and pre. 

With his eyes locked on yours, brow furrowed, you could feel the darkness swirling in his chocolate orbs as they bore into your soul. The look Daichi always got in his eyes when he slipped into Domspace was the most erotic thing you had ever witnessed. You lived for its intensity, the way he watched you like you were the only thing that ever existed. He was lost in that space, floating, your throat constricting around his raging hard-on as his heavy balls pressed against your dripping chin. 

“Ffuu- listen to me, sweetheart. I’m gonna cum, but don’t you dare swallow,” he growled, still fucking your face. “Your mouth better be full of my cum when I’m done, got that?” Your broken whimper around his cock finally pushed him over the edge. “Ah fuck, yeah, here it comes!” Officer Sawamura’s thighs shook, his powerful cock visibly jerking to release big globs of his hot semen inside your waiting mouth. 

“Shit,” he breathed as he slowly pulled his tip from your sealed lips. “Open up. Let me see the evidence.”

You opened your mouth, so full of his seed that it began to leak from the corners of your lips. A small spurt of cum dribbled from his slit when his cock twitched at the sight of you with a mouthful of his nut. 

“Good girl,” he praised you, tapping his spent dick against your tear-streaked cheek. “Now, swallow. Then show me your tongue so I can make sure you got it all.”

You closed your mouth, eyes trained on him as you swallowed, gagging a little on the sheer volume of thick, bitter fluid as it went down. With traces of his semen still sticking to your cheek, you gulped hard before opening wide and sticking your tongue out as far as it would go.

“Goddamn, such a whore for cop dick,” he smirked, tucking himself back into his pants. “I’m impressed.”

“Fuck you and your dirty cop dick,” you spat, voice hoarse from the throat fucking you’d just taken.

He laughed, pulling you back up to your feet. “That can certainly be arranged.” 

With his hand wrapped behind your neck, he began leading you towards your bedroom, but you weren’t going to let him have his way with you so easily. You wrenched yourself out of his grip and spun around, still unable to use your arms or hands. “You are not going to fuck me! You can fucking forget it, jackass!”

Daichi’s face twisted in anger as he grabbed you and pushed you belly-down on top of your dining room table. 

“What the fuck did I say about calling me disrespectful names?” he yelled, crushing you with his weight as he leaned over you, pinning you between his beefy body and the hard surface beneath. “Didn’t I say there would be consequences?” 

“You cops are all the same. Think you can just push people around and abuse your power. Corrupt bullies!”

“Shut the fuck up! All you’re doing is making things harder on yourself, darlin’. I’m trying to go easy on you, but you just keep digging your hole deeper and deeper.” He removed everything from his belt before yanking it through the loops, your eyes going wide at the realization of what was coming. You squirmed and whined as he yanked your shorts down to your knees. “This is gonna hurt you a lot more than it hurts me, babygirl.”

“No! Don’t you d-gaahhhh FUCK!” you cried out, the first loud crack of the leather smarting against your bare ass.

“Officer Sawamura! I wanna hear you say it!” The second lash came in quick succession, followed by a third. 

“Fuck off,” you braved, your breath catching in your raw throat as the thick strap of leather slashed across your welting skin again. He slammed the belt against the table and leaned over you, grabbing a fistful of your hair and pulling your head back. 

“Show me some fucking respect and say my fucking name!” He was hard again, his clothed erection rubbing your stinging butt, the negative pressure providing some soothing relief. Damn, he was good at this. At owning you. At punishing you. At maintaining this perfect balance of pleasure and pain.

But you refused, rubbing your thighs together for some friction. Your pussy dripping wet for him. 

“Still refusing to cooperate, hm? Let’s go,” he said, your shorts falling to the floor around your feet when he pulled you up from the table. 

“Wh-“ Before you could ask anything, you found yourself slung over the officer’s shoulder. “Wait! What are you gonna do to me?”

He carried you to your bedroom with a dark, crooked grin. “Whatever it takes to make you scream my name.”

With your wrists bound, you couldn’t even pound on his back with your fists. There was nothing you could do to break free.

The cop bent over, dropping you onto the bed. He rolled you over onto your belly and pulled the cuff keys out of his pocket. Oh, good. Now was your chance! But before he released one of the restraints, he straddled your legs, keeping you right where he wanted you.

“Don’t even think about it, princess.”

Standing up again, he flipped you back over and manhandled you, securing the short chain of the steel cuffs behind the bedpost before binding your writhing wrists again.

“Now,” he smiled, “your ass is mine.” He toed his shoes off and undid the first few buttons at the top of his shirt as he made his way closer to you on the bed. He pried your legs open and forced his thighs between yours. 

“Damn, look at that pretty little pussy coated with all that slick,” he teased as he pushed your tank above your tits. “And these perfect tits of yours…they’re mine now,” he added, cupping and squishing them. He dipped down and took one of your tingling nipples into his hot mouth, swirling and sucking. 

“Don’t touch me,” you gritted, fighting back your moan. 

“Every part of this body belongs to me now, angel. It’s mine to do with as I please until you’re screaming my name.” He kept your legs open with his big, strong hands as he settled down between them. 

“Please stop! You can’t-ohh god!”

It was too late. The cop’s mouth was already latched onto your pussy, sucking and licking, rapidly flicking your clit with his tongue. He pushed two thick fingers inside your sticky, pulsing walls, going right for that special spot as he closed his lips around your hard, pink bud and started sucking you off. You writhed and squirmed, whined and protested, but it wasn’t long before he had you spasming around his fingers as he licked your quivering pussy clean. 

He sat back up between your legs, licking his lips. “You ready to start screaming my name yet?”

“Not gonna happen,” you insisted, breasts rising and falling as you tried to catch your breath. 

“You can’t escape the long cock of the law, sweetheart. It’s not a matter of if, it’s a matter of when.” You watched as he unzipped his pants, the handcuffs rubbing against the wooden bedpost as you squirmed. “And the sooner that happens, the sooner I’ll let you go.” He pulled his thick cock out through the zipper hole and tapped his swollen mushroom tip against your twitching clit before rubbing it between your eager pussy lips. 

“No! Don’t!” You began to struggle again, pulling your knees toward your chest in an effort to keep him from penetrating you. But your strength was no match for the police officer. He grabbed your legs, forcing them open and wedging himself between them again. 

“Stop resisting! I’m gonna fuck your cunt until you acknowledge my authority over you!”

You could feel his cockhead pressing against your greedy entrance as he lined himself up, and with a single thrust he bullied his cock all the way inside you.

“Don’t do this to me! Stop! Please!” But the truth was you were so turned on, pussy already closing in on him as he fucked his cock into you, hard and deep. 

“Nnhmmm damn, this pussy feels fucking amazing! You keep fighting but you’re so goddamn wet for me, aren’t you?” he said, caging you between his arms before leaning down and kissing you. The rough material of his pants surrounding the base of his dick rubbed your clit as he beat his cock into you so hard it took your breath away. 

You were whining, begging him to stop when he demanded “Start screaming my name! I’m gonna make you cum on my thick cop dick as many times as it takes, ma’am.” You were unraveling under his weight, the force of his hips pounding into you as you felt your body building up for another release. 

“Stop! Fuck…please…you’re gonna make me cum!”

“That’s it, honey, fucking cum on my dick!”

Your whole body went rigid as your orgasm took hold and it seemed to go on forever. The pangs of pleasure kept washing over you with every unrelenting plunge of the cop’s fat cock. He never slowed down or let up, just kept fucking orgasm after orgasm out of you until you were sobbing. 

He sat up on his knees and pushed your knees back towards the bed, fucking you faster now. Looking down, he groaned when he saw your pearly cream staining his dark pants as he shoved his hips into you. It took all the effort and focus he had to hold back the imminent eruption of cum, his balls aching for release. Angling his hips to grind the fabric against your clit, he kept right on fucking you. 

You were a mess, too weak to struggle, your entire body trembling with pleasure. Your pleas for him to stop were growing more and more desperate as the overstim took hold. 

“Start screaming my name, sweetheart, and this will all be over,” he reminded you, heavy desire lacing every word. “Officer Sawamura! Say it!”

“Oh god, not again…y’gonna make me-”

His thrusts grew more violent, forcing your next orgasm out of you. 

“Fuck…O-off-i-cer Sa-wa-mu-raaa!” He was fucking you so hard that every word came out in broken syllables in time with his powerful thrusts. “Pl-e-e-ease?!”

“Oh, fuck yes! That’s my girl! Give me one more! Come on, cum for me again!”

“N-no, shit! Ohhh- can’t hold it!” You lost all control, coming apart under Officer Sawamura’s powerful thrusts and squirting, soaking the lap of his government-issued pants. 

It was too much for him - your cream on his angry cock, his pants dark with your spend, your rhythmic squeezing around his girth, the sweetest sound of his own name falling from your quivering lips. “Mmhhh I’m gonna cum! Fill you up with this cop seed, baby…fuck!” And with that, the police officer’s cock twitched and jerked, filling you to the brim with his masculine musk. 

With a final grunt, Daichi lowered himself down to rest on his elbows, chest to chest with you. The same hands that spanked, groped, and forced you now gently cupped your face.

“Talk to me, baby. Tell me what you’re feeling,” he whispered between tender kisses to your cheeks and lips.

Your eyes fluttered open and your arms moved to grasp onto him, but couldn’t. “N-need to touch you.”

He reached into his pocket and pulled the keys out before unlocking the cuffs. As soon as he set you free, your arms clutched at him, pulling him closer before fumbling with the buttons on his shirt. “Need to feel more. I need to feel your skin.”

Daichi obliged, moving to sit up only to hear you whimper “Stay close! Please don’t pull out yet?”

He nodded, doing his best to unbutton and take his shirt off before engulfing you in his embrace. You threw your arms around his neck, squeezing him, pulling him impossibly closer, your fingertips denting his flesh.

“Don’t let go,” he murmured as his arms encircled your waist and pulled you to sit on top of him, still connected as lovers, holding one another dearly. “I love you, y/n…more than you’ll ever know. You’re safe, baby. I’ve got you.”

Your hands fisted against his broad back as you nuzzled deeper into his neck. You swore to yourself you wouldn’t cry this time, but the scene had been so rich, so intense and Daichi’s unmatched aftercare was so sweet, so empowering. Sometimes he was your hard, savage Dom, but he was always your loving, protective boyfriend. The juxtaposition of all the things he could make you feel at once was overwhelming and robust, leaving you impressionable, vulnerable. But no matter what you were doing or what role he was playing, with Daichi, you always knew you were unconditionally safe.

He cradled the back of your head as you rested it against his chest, listening to the sound of his calm, steady heartbeat as it grounded and comforted you.

When you were ready, he lowered you back onto the bed, his sticky cum coating your inner thighs as he slowly slipped out of you. He laid down next to you so you could nestle into your spot - your belly against his side, your leg wrapped around his, your head on his chest as he held you tightly in the security of his sturdy arms. Sweet nothings, delicate kisses, and ghosting fingers on warm skin - he made sure you knew you were home. And you made sure he knew that you trusted him with your life.

“Was it everything you hoped it would be?” Daichi asked, seeking feedback. 

“Oh my god, yes! It was perfect. You’re such a natural Dominant, baby,” you assured him, running your fingers through his short, black hair. “But I swear to god, if you ever say ‘long cock of the law’ again, I’m using the safe word.”

Both of your bodies shook with laughter. 

“Aww c’mon, baby, I know you love this long cock of the law…” 

“Daichi! Stop!” you giggled, playfully slapping his chest.

“Mmm…the long cock of the law reaching deep inside you…” 

“No! Make it stop!” 

“I know you wanna ride a mile 6 inches at a time on my long cock of the law…” 

“Six inches isn’t even that long…” 

“Are you complaining?” 

“Hell no. Girth is where it’s at and, baby, you’ve got more than a lady could ever beg for.” 

“Do you love my cock, baby?” You both chuckled and you reached down to give his spent dick a couple of love tugs. 

“I love everything about you,” you said, kissing him as he smiled contentedly.

31 days of daichi mlist ⛓ main daichi mlist ⛓️ haikyuu mlist

tagging: @chaoskrakenuwu @yuujispinkhair @luvkun4 @briokayama @mrs-sawamura @heroesfan101 @millenialfanfictionaddiction @lanaxians-2 @darthferbert @hannas16 @a-girl-cant-decide-on-a-name @cookiesandmilksx @strawberrystepmom @maexc @little-ms-awkward @samkysnks @anejuuuuoy @productivity-blogs @patheticliesblog @cheesechopchive @strawbmarma ++ get added

[6point5crows]

Poly Relationships Aren’t A Plot Device!!!

Bit if a warning: Angry rant with sloppy points and writing but Idc here you go

The thing about poly relationships, is we get no goddamn healthy rep whatsoever, and the rest of the LGBTQI+ community treat us like a weird dog-rat hybrid. Yes I know this is a bit extreme but at least hear me out before jumping in to be like, “That’s not true!!” especially if you’re not poly so therefor have no idea what our viewpoint is like.

To begin, the only rep we ever have in movies or TV or books is boiled down to a plot device, a trope, a love triangle, or simply just sexual. The only time I’ve seen poly relationships in movies and TV is literally just sexual— sexual and cheating. It’s always “I caught my husband with two other girls at once!” Or “Oh I’m cheating on you but let’s force this to work…” Or just overall shit communication and unrealistic issues.

Wanna know what that has done to poly relationships irl?

Everyone assumes it’s some kink thing, or that we are all cheaters, or that it’s all unfaithful and full of lies and jealousy. The amount of people who will hear of an actual poly relationship and go, “Oh you do it for the sex” is WILD.

But wanna know where we’ve heard this sorta assumption before?

For gay and lesbian relationships before better rep was given to it. Do y’all remember when being gay was reduced to just sex stuff by that majority? Poly relationships are STILL THERE. Yeah there’s people who will actually realize that it’s not all sexual, but so many people hear about poly relationships and assume it’s a kink.

Hell, anytime I look up definitions for poly relationships, it always seems to mention “but there’s usually a sexual aspect to that!” ???? NO?? Me and my partners are literally asexual ??

And I’m not shitting on people who are poly for the sex but that’s the same exact thing as like… ANYONE being any sexuality due to… the sex of it. It’s not exclusive to just poly relationships. But for some reason, we are looked at as different than the rest of the LGBTQIA+ community.

Another note is the common phrases and questions asked to poly people in response to saying we are poly. Such as:

- “Oh do you have a favorite?” Obviously harmful?? That’s fucked up??

- “Don’t you get jealous?” ???? Just don’t ask this??

- “Who is the third wheel?” Again just fucked up so stfu

- “Oh it could never work for me, you do you though.” While it seems respectful, if you think deeper about it, there’s no reason to say it in this way. No shit it wouldn’t work for you because you’re not poly. Do you see me going around saying, ‘Oh I could NEVER be a lesbian… you do you though.’ Obviously not because I’m not a lesbian like? I wouldn’t just start listing labels I’m not and ending it with that. “You do you” okay be fr and just say you’re polyphobic lmao

- Or just overall bringing up every single failed poly relationship to compair it to ours. Stop. Nobody cares.

Idk just I’m gonna post this because some of y’all piss me off, always sexualizing a valid label or calling it a trope and kink. Fight me in the comments and let’s see how many people are just polyphobic and small minded lmao.

[on-this-day-mcr]

On this day, April 9

In 2002: My Chemical Romance gave their first ever interview. The interview, featuring Gerard and Mikey, was for Snagglezine, a New Jersey fanzine run by two Eyeball Records interns.  Read the interview here, or below the cut!

M: I'm Michael Way, I play the bass guitar. G: I'm Gerard Way, I'm the singer. K: Your biggest influences? G: Iron Maiden. M: The Smiths. G: At the Gates, Brit pop, Blur, Morrisey, shit like that. Like metal, like melodic metal. We're all about it, like Helloween, big influences. M: Oh yeah. Keeper of the Seven Keys. G: You can't hear any of our influences in our music though but it's there. M: It's subconsciously in the music, but nobody else can pick it up unless you're looking for it, you can't really pick on what's there. K: We hear that you just signed to Eyeball (Records). How's it feel to be signed to such a great label? G: We're fucking really excited. M: It's so excellent. G: I've know Alex for a while, I probably shouldn't say that, Alex is fucking great. M: ..and an amazing human being. We've known him and he took care of fucking Thursday and we were psyched about that, but not only that, we were really psyched to be with Pencey Prep because those kids fuckin helped us out right from the start. They gave us their tour van when we needed it, they gave us their fuckin tour van! Hambone gave us the tour van and fuckin cause they're getting a new one and they gave us a spot in their practice studio that we share with them, so we share a practice studio with them. C: Yeah Alex got us our first interview, Thursday. M: Yeah I remember, I was right there. No, but it's great cause it's like a family, we all hang out all the time, it's amazing. G: We can't hang out with Thursday as much as we'd like to cause they're always on tour which is gonna happen to all our bands now. K: Favorite bands to play with and favorite venue? G: Pencey (Prep). M: So far it's just Pencey (Prep) but the Loop (Lounge) was hot. G: But the Loop, even though they don't let kids in which sucks, I don't like that 21 and over stuff, but it had great sound. M: Yeah, there's like a professional sound guy. G: But this place (Garfield American Legion) had great sound. C: CBGB'S had good sound for Thursday. M: Oh the Piebald one? C: Yeah. G: Oh I want to play there. C: It's good. M: So far we only played about 5 shows, out of 5 shows, the Loop was the best. G: And we got an encore there. M: Yeah people were calling for an encore. K: That's awesome, we've never been there. Have you guys played in any bands before? G: Me and Mikey had this band called Raygun Jones and we were like, you know, really young and he was the bass player back then too. We had a female bass player and she just dropped out so we just put a bass on Mikey pretty much the same way we did this time. We put a bass on him and said play. We trained him. M: Yeah exactly. It's like I normally play guitar but like my brother came up to me with the material and I was just so blown away that I had to join. I was like, "I don't care what I play" and "I have to be in this somehow". G: He really filled out our band. We had a good vibe going anyway but then when he was in it, it clicked. And that's why, the way you saw us play out there today, we weren't playing like that until Mikey was playing tight with us and joining. K: How long have you guys been established and what was your reason for starting a band? G: The band, uh, me and Otter really got together in November, I believe, and the real reason we established it was because it has a lot to do with the September 11th attack. I was on my way to get ready for a Cartoon Network meeting because I do cartoons and stuff and he had that option. We saw the plane hit right from the train and when we got there we were all just standing on the pier in Hoboken like right on the edge. There's like 300 people that were friend and family and we all saw it go down. That's when I realized that doing this cartoon was bullshit, I love to draw and make art but it was so commercial, it was just that I felt like having meetings with people in suits, it just made me realize what the hell I'm doing with my life. That's what our 1st song that we always open with "Skylines and Turnstyles" is about. It's about the Trade Center. C: Although I'm a big fan of the Cartoon Network and like 3 in the afternoon in your pajamas... G: Yeah but dealing with them is not fun. That actually got it and everyone like came together through the music. It's like therapy. K: How did you get the name and does it imply that you guys are quite the partiers? M & G: Hahaha Oh!!! G: We used to call Mike "Mikey Party" but now he's "Mikey Romance". K: That's how we met you! M: Yeah it was at a party. G: It's like 11 different meanings for the band. You can take them anywhere. On a personal level, for me, it's about anti-depressants. I was like so depressed about a year ago and I just wanted to cut my fuckin face off. It's also like a reference to Irvine Welsh and his books. M: All his books are like classified as Chemical Romances. It's like love stories where there's like drugs involved. C: Yeah, I went to google to see if you guys had a site and all his stuff came up. M: Yup yup, Irvine Welsh. Now there's only 2 people so far that picked up on that. Two people were like "Whoa, you mean like Irvine Welsh?". But it's a personal level, like we took the name and we brought it to a personal level. G: Yeah it really means for me anti-depressants. Like we drink beer and shit... M: We like to party. K & C: Hell yeah. G: We drink and party, we rock and roll man. K: Yeah, the most "un-edge" name, right? G: We don't like do drugs though. C: You're not my friend then. (haha, he's kidding). M: Yeah we don't need drugs to have a good time. :: Gerard announces slumber party and that guitar player takes guitar to a whole new level because he has a gash and is bleeding:: K: One more serious one, what do you guys think of the sudden outburst of bands on indie labels such as Thursday, Phantom Planet, Hot Water Music, and Rival Schools being played on MTV2 and MTVX? G: I think, I always thought this because I've been an artist with comics from that whole scene too. Anything from the underground eventually makes its way up. It's like something underground, it's new and fresh and it's eventually gonna make its way up to the tv. It's bound to happen, it happens with everything. Nirvana is the best example of it and I think that's what's gonna happen with Jersey and I think it's gonna be great. M: I think it's like survival of the fittest cause like whoever's doing it for the right reasons is gonna survive and whoever's doing it for the wrong reasons is gonna get chopped and fried and we all know who's doing it for the right reasons. C: Yeah we know. Do you guys like Dragon Tales? G: We're Lord of the Rings fans. M: No, he's talking about the cartoon. C: ...on PBS. G: The only exposure I have with Dragon Tales is that little kids come in and ask for the cd @ B & N. C: Best Valentine's gift you ever got? G: I'm about to get one right now but I haven't seen it yet. Shit. I haven't really gotten any. I got roses, I love roses so a girl got me roses. That was pretty cool. M: You know what, I can't even remember getting one because there hasn't been a powerful female outlet in my life to give me a Valentine's day gift. So there's no Valentine's day gift I can remember. C: No little candy hearts from grandma or mom or anything like I usually get? M: No way! K: You got frogs this year. M: You're lucky dude. C: Yeah I got frogs from her. Disney character that most represents you? M: Donald Duck. G: Yeah Mike dressed up like Donald Duck in 2nd grade. M: It was a fuckin rad costume, my grandma made it. G: It was fuckin hot and then the next year he dressed up as a stay puff marshmallow. M: And it was also really hot. G: Mr. Toad. C: Would you guys ever cover "The Lady Is A Tramp" by Frank Sinatra? M: It could be done. G: Could we do that? M: It could totally be done. G: Yeah I could see us doing that. M: Cause Frankie's awesome. G: What about doing a Dean Martin or a Sammy? M: Those guys knew how to party man. C: The Rat Pack. G: The Sans Crew. Vegas man. We want to bring Hambone with us cause he always wins on slots. M: He's the King of Slots. ::tangent on Hambone:: Other members not in interview: Otter (Matt)->drums Ray Toro->guitar, phenomenal

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi Cas :) My younger sister is 22 and recently told me that she’s in a queer platonic relationship. I already knew she was aro so this isn’t surprising but i’ve been trying to understand her identity a bit more so I can help give her advice when she asks and stuff (cause she often came to me for advice with romance stuff and I even helped her find the label aro, which she now identifies with) but I feel a bit bizarre walking into queer places as a straight girl cause I hate to take up a place where people go to be comfortable around others like them. So I didn’t know who to ask. So i’m asking you :)

I don’t really understand queer platonic. I don’t want to know if my baby sister has sex and I don’t care whether that’s her thing or not, but I don’t know the right terminology.

Is her queer platonic person her partner? They were already really close friends, so are they more than that now? Is queer platonic another way of saying bestest friend to ever friend? She said they got together very recently (she was excited to tell me) and so… should I have noticed? Since she said she’s aro, I know she doesn’t get crushes, or want to date, so I stopped thinking about that in regards to her. Was it sort of like a crush except without romance? 

I know I could ask my sister but we’re pretty far from each other right now and it feels like the sorta thing to ask about in person, she speaks a lot in body language my sister, and so it’d be nice to know what she’s feeling I guess, or how I should treat their relationship going forward. 

Also since it’s a relationship, i’d quite like to get to know her partner, but I don’t know if that’s usually within the boundaries of queer platonic (I do partly know them already, but we’ve never met IN PERSON before). 

Also, I assume since she called it a queer platonic relationship, calling it a friendship is rude? Cause it’s not a friendship, it’s a relationship. 

I don’t know how much of it I should understand, you know? Cause obviously it’s her experience and not mine so there’ll always be a part of it I don’t get. But I feel like I don’t get enough of it yet. 

She often comes to me for advice and I expect she will more often now she’s in a relationship, she doesn’t deal with conflict very well and likes to call me to calm down sometimes.

I don’t know whether my advice should change now it’s a relationship. I also don’t know how her dynamic has changed with her partner? 

Also, and I really don’t want this to sound rude, but can I call what they have love? Cause they do love each other, just not romantically, I think. 

Anyway, I don’t fully know what i’m asking. Just if you having any insight into queer platonic relationships, please tell meeeee :) 

I’m super happy for my sister and already psyching myself up for correcting my parents when they use the wrong terminology for my sister and her partner. Oh that reminds me, is there any terminology that I might accidentally use that’s wrong? I assume like “romance”. Unless they can have romance, just not romantic feelings? 

Yeah idk, have a lovely week Cas ❤️ Thanks for reading my questionsssss

Hi hon!

Honestly, I don't have a ton of experience with queer platonic relationships, but I'm gonna do my best to help!

From what I know a queer platonic relationship is what it sounds like, basically. Two (or more) queer people who are in a platonic relationship. They may be partnered, meaning they sort of...belong to each other, ig? Belong isn't the right word, but I'm hoping you get the idea. There's love there, but not romantic. Sometimes there's intimacy, but sometimes not. There's variation there, which is why it's hard for me to answer your questions.

I think the thing is, a lot of these questions, I wouldn't be able to answer even if I had a lot of knowledge. The reason for this is because being aro can be a spectrum. Some aro people like a bit of romance, some like none. Some like physical intimacy, some don't. The questions that you're asking right now are amazing questions, because they show you respect your sister's identity and you want to understand how she feels. You're asking the right questions, but I really think you need to ask her.

I would start by saying something like. "Hey, you told me about x. I really want to understand because I love you. Is it okay if I ask some questions?"

Odds are, she'll be up for answering. Most queer people WANT people to want to learn. Then, ask away. These are all good questions and none of them are inappropriate imo. I think once you know the answers to these, you'll know how to give advice, too.

Remember that it's okay to not completely understand. But asking questions and working to understand means the world to most people.

And if she doesn't want to answer questions? Just be accepting. Roll with it. Try to learn by observing.

But I need you to understand that like...if someone came to me and was like, "I have questions about your gender, can I ask?" I would cry of happiness. So odds are your sister will be willing to answer.

You sound like an amazing person and I hope you ask your sister all of these things, because it sounds like you're exactly the type of sibling everyone deserves to have <3

Naming you qpr anon!

[nerdygaymormon]

Favorite LGBTQ movie and TV quotes

“Um, I do drink red wine, but I also drink white wine. And I’ve been known to sample the occasional rosé. And a couple summers back, I tried a Merlot that used to be a Chardonnay, which got a bit complicated… I like the wine and not the label. Does that make sense?”

— David Rose, Schitt’s Creek, Season 1, Episode 10

“That felt so good to say. I feel like I just solved an escape room I’ve been trapped in my entire life.”

— Fabiola Torres, Never Have I Ever, Season 1, Episode 5

“Look, I’ll be hurt either way. Isn’t it better to be who I am?”

— Eric Effiong, Sex Education, Season 1, Episode 7

“Everybody’s story is different. There’s your version, and my version, and everything in between. But the one thing that all of those stories have in common is that moment right before you say those words when your heart is racing, and you don’t know what’s coming next. That moment’s really terrifying. And then once you say those words, you can’t unsay them. A chapter has ended, and a new one’s begun, and you have to be ready for that.”

— John, Happiest Season

“The good thing about being different is that no one expects you to be like them”

— Ellie Chu, The Half Of It

"When I'm with Brittany, I finally understand what people are talking about when they talk about love. I've tried so hard to push this feeling away, and keep it locked inside, but every day just feels like a war. I walk around so mad at the world, but I'm really just fighting with myself. I don't want to fight anymore. I'm just too tired. I have to just be me."

— Santana Lopez, Glee, Season 3, Episode 7

“Now, there is a long and honorable tradition in the gay community, and it has stood us in good stead for a very long time. When somebody calls you a name…you take it and own it.”

— Mark Ashton, Pride

“So I'm bisexual. So what? It's LGBTQ for a reason. There's a B in there and it doesn't mean Badass. Okay, it does, but it also means Bi.”

— Callie Torres, Grey's Anatomy, Episode 1105

“We’re standing here in Philadelphia, the, uh, City of Brotherly Love, the birthplace of freedom where the, uh, founding fathers authored the Declaration of Independence, and I don’t recall that glorious document saying anything about all straight men are created equal. I believe it says all men are created equal.”

— Joe Miller, Philadelphia

"Yes, I wear foundation. Yes, I live with a man. Yes, I'm a middle- aged fag. But I know who I am, Val. It took me twenty years to get here, and I'm not gonna let some idiot senator destroy that. F*** the senator, I don't give a damn what he thinks."

— Armand Goldman, The Birdcage

"Being gay is your thing. There are parts of it you have to go through alone. I hate that. As soon as you came out, you said, "Mom, I'm still me." I need you to hear this: You are still you, Simon. You are still the same son who I love to tease and who your father depends on for just about everything. And you're the same brother who always complements his sister on her food, even when it sucks. You get to exhale now, Simon. You get to be more you than you have been in... in a very long time. You deserve everything you want."

— Emily Spier, Love, Simon

"The greatest gift we can give each other is our authentic selves and sharing that. Sharing our truth is what will make us strong. So here I am. I am both human and alien. And I am a trans woman."

— Kara Danvers, Supergirl, Season 4, Episode 19

"But I feel more when I look at a picture of Kristen Stewart than I do when I kiss him."

— Elena Alvarez, One Day at a Time,

"You can’t change it. You can’t fix me. Because I’m not broken, I don’t need to be fixed, OK? I’m me!"

— Ian Gallagher, Shameless, Season 5, Episode 12

"Becoming me was the greatest creative project of my life."

Eliot Waugh, The Magicians, Season 1, Episode 1

"Every time someone steps up and says who they are, the world becomes a better, more interesting place. So, thank you."

—Raymond Holt, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Season 5, Episode 10

"I might be…bisexual, and you guys know I hate labels, but this one feels important right now to own the space I’m in and to make sense of it."

—Kat Edison, The Bold Type

[wordslikesilver]

Seeing the discourse lately on transmisogyny and coming across new terms like tme and tma being used more than I think I’ve ever seen before because of everything going on had me uneasy, not gonna lie, I always do when I find new terminology from the alphabet mafia because I’m thinking to myself oh boy, more stuff to explain to cis people. Looked into it, it all seems pretty reasonable to me tho for including nonbinary femmes and femme intersex people I’ve sorta just always by default assumed “Trans Femme” was really good given the whole “it’s a spectrum and transmisogyny by definition is talking about the people on the femme side of it who didn’t start there” so admittedly I’ll probably be a grump about changing my vocab soon.

But then I see some new shit in the wake of all this TERF nonsense and bigotry being used against trans women? Detransitioned cis women calling themselves trans women and saying WE don’t understand the concept of gender well? The audacity? Look, changing the labels of a community to be less offensive is something I support so loudly and love and adore. This isn’t that. This is people encroaching on our pride and our identities and pretending the flag we nobly fly, the icon of bravery and unifying love in the face of oppression that it is, isn’t clearly “ours” enough. That it’s something they’re allowed to say belongs to them too so we need to come up with something new to call ourselves when we discuss the pain we face in our lives. Erasing and rewording the definitions of who we are til our identity is gone altogether. Moving the goal posts and telling us to teach everyone a whole new set of labels when the average layman still doesn’t even know that “Cis” isn’t a fucking slur, let alone what it means. Never forget that at your core when you fight against this new bigotry and they try to dance circles around you with their words and misdirect the conversation to stupid shit. Alienation from an already unified identity is a classic means of making it so much fucking harder for the oppressed to have their pleas for basic rights be acknowledged. Never let your people’s pain be silenced by someone pretending to they’re too stupid to know who you’re talking about.

To the TERFs and bigots who find this, and I fucking hope you find this, Trans Woman is not yours to fucking claim just because “gender is a construct and complicated” you will NEVER know the pain people like me have been through. I refuse to acknowledge a claim on my people’s identity because someone managed to misunderstand a concept hard enough and it’s now snowballed into a new form of complicating discussions of deserving basic and equal rights. I have felt the pains a cis woman has felt, I have felt sexist and awful treatment from men, I have been catcalled, I have been stalked, I have been made unsafe, I have been expected to be a mother for no other reason than “all women want them one day” and I have been assumed to be less than a man for some imagined frailty of the fairer sex. I am a woman. We can share that label, I WANT to share that label. We can bond over sapphic love and feminine experiences and hardships we both suffer under a cruel patriarchy. In just the same way, I have never known the pain of period cramps. I don’t have a vagina. I will never have a pregnancy scare and I will never feel the side effects of birth control. I wasn’t catcalled by gross men walking home when I was in high school. I was never sexualized by the media when I was in middle school the way cis girls would see happen to them. I am NOT a cis woman and I will never be one. I grew up as a boy, I lived and I loved as a young man, I saw the world through masculine eyes and was raised being treated as one, I will never pretend I know what it’s like to be a young girl being preyed upon and used by an older man. I will never touch that label because it’s simply not correct at the most fundamental level. I am a trans woman and that made me who I am. After all the people I’ve met and all the experiences I’ve shared, it took time to be so proud of calling myself a trans woman. Holding up the sky would’ve taken less strength of the heart, but now I feel the deepest pride knowing I’ve done something inconceivably harder.

But you, you people cannot take that from me and my sisters. I draw the fucking line at saying you think you have the slightest notion of what it’s like to be transfeminine. To be born in a body that makes people see you as a man from the very first glance, to hear you wrong from the first whisper of your voice. To spend the rest of your life working tirelessly in a fight against your own biology and/or the perception of the entire world whenever it casts its ugly eye upon you. Some of us don’t even have the privilege of fighting those perceptions or the things or own bodies have been programmed to force on us. Some of us don’t even want to have to do anything about how we look because it’s bullshit to have to fight for that basic respect from our peers in the first place and their standards just don’t align with who we are deep down in the first place! Gender is complicated but this isn’t. Have you EVER held your breath in the women’s public washroom and tucked your feet in because you were scared you’d make other women uncomfortable, because you’re not sure if you’re in an accepting space? FEARED what might happen if you step into the women’s change room to put on a bathing suit or your work clothes? Have you EVER been threatened with physical violence and called slurs in front of your own mother on public transit? Have you ever had to tell your doctor you’re ready to drop out of school to show how “sure” (re: fucking desperate) you are to be prescribed HRT? Sure, lots of cis women are on HRT, I treat them as patients all the time. Have you ever had a hot flash at the age of 21 because you were late on your injection? Did you pierce your skin with thin metal once a week for years and years to get the breasts you have? Did your body do irreparable things to your bones and your voice that make it so no one will ever see you as a woman at first glance without thousands of hours of effort, of tears, of sheer fucking focus and fixation on achieving the ideal self you see in your mind and dream of being one day? DID YOU HAVE TO BEG YOUR GOVERNMENT TO LET YOU HAVE THE BODY YOU LITERALLY ALREADY HAD AT BIRTH OR DID THEY NEVER EVEN SO MUCH AS TRY TO GET IN THE WAY OF JUST BEING CALLED MISS ON YOUR GOD DAMN LICENSE? Cis women can’t even begin to imagine the feelings I have felt, building my wings of feather and bones and wax, day after day, dreaming of flying beside my sisters who were born with wings they’ll never fear will melt, all the while remembering the last time someone born in a body like mine flew too close to the sun. Maybe they’ll perhaps know what it’s like to bind them to their back and hide them beneath their shirt, maybe they’ll even have sheered and ripped the bones from their sockets and one day wish they could have them back and sing with the rest of the angels like they used to, but they will NEVER fly on wings like mine, fear the heat from the light that makes life worth living the way I do, fear the same slings and arrows screaming up through the air from down below and even at times from above my head to let me know loud and clear they wanna knock me outta this sky, this sky that’s so beautiful and holy I cry when I touch it, the very first chance they get.

Transphobia won’t ever take the sky from me. My Icarian Wings are made on the foundation of generation after generation of my people who dreamed and yearned to touch the sunlight blue skies and the infinite glittering nights, each of us telling each other, telling ourselves we’ll never fear the light again one day, lifting each other when we fall, soaring higher each time than the ones whose wax melted before we could save them could, warmly teaching each other how to fix our broken wings and freely gifting each other the love it takes to make them stronger for the next flight. Holding each others hands as we dance and show each other how to fly, hand in hand and heart in heart with the angels who call us sister angels. A cis woman having the audacity to flap her never melting wings and saying hers are just like mine, that the name of my people is just a construct so she can say she she’s just like Icarus too, makes me wanna vomit. Pretending she knows what it’s like to watch in terror as all the feathers fall out suddenly in a moment of weakness making her break her bones upon the rocks, listening to everyone around her say “I knew it, I knew his wings were fake, look at him crawl along the ground in the dirt and the mud where he belongs.” Pretending that if two people both have skin, even of a different colour, that since the labels are made up, the sun and society itself will surely treat them the same if the white one calls themselves black.

Transphobia won’t ever take the sky from me. Come and fucking try to take these wings from me and see what happens.

[latoyalestrange]

THE FOOL

p. pascal x f!oc

Masterlist | Playlist

Summary: Naela realizes she can’t trust everyone in the acting business. Somehow the only person who makes her feel safe is a man she met yesterday.

Words: 1.8k

Warnings: Not edited, maybe I will eventually. Some angst, deception, and crying. Once again, this man makes up for it dw.

Taglist: @marvel-sw-lover , @lokislittle , @red-red-rogue

comment if you want to be added to the taglist!

CHAPTER TWO -- TRAPPED

Naela had never been a morning person. Her mother often told stories about how grumpy she was even on Christmas morning. Needless to say, she would have to get used to waking up before the sun.

Looking at the time as she turned off her alarms, she realized she knew only one other person who was awake at this time every morning. She was thinking about her mother a lot last night after talking with Pedro.

In hopes to seek some comfort, Naela called her mom, who answered after the first ring.

“Buenos días, Mija!” Naela clearly didn’t take after her mom in that regard.

“Buenos días, mamá,” she muttered weakly, still basking in the warmth of her bed.

“How is Columbia? Is it everything Abluela said it was?” She chuckled lightly.

“All I’ve seen so far are the walls of my trailer,” she yawned, making her mother laugh harder.

“Pobrecita. Send me some pictures, okay? I have to open this morning.” Naela’s brow furrowed at her statement.

“Where is Sebastian?” She counted on her older brother to be there for her mom since she couldn’t.

“Oh, he’s closing for me now. I can’t see well at night anymore, especially when I’m driving.” Her mothers tone told her not to worry, so she didn’t.

“Okay, mama. Te amo.”

“Te amo mucho, mija.” Naela sighed as she let her phone fall against the pillow. Making her get out of bed at this hour had to be a crime. To her surprise, the silence was short lived as her phone began to ring. oAfter a few moments of hyping herself up, she finally pulled herself out of bed, taking the comforter with her. She groggily clambered into the living space and stopped at the coffee machine. After rubbing her eyes, she could finally read the labels on the coffee pods they had on display. It almost seemed wrong not to choose Columbian Roast, so she plucked the pod out of the chamber and put it directly in the top of the coffee machine. She quickly picked a mug and started brewing her first cup of many coffees she would need during this shoot.

Once it was finished, she withdrew to the pull out couch and sipped her coffee while she watched the sun rise for a bit. She tried to check her social media, but the spotty service was not having it. After she felt conscious enough, she threw on a t-shirt and shorts, since it was just a table reading for the day.

Once she was ready, she started making her way to the studio. It was much cooler with the sun still creeping over the horizon. At first, she thought she was the first one up, since it was so quiet, but once she got halfway to the door, she heard her name.

“Naela!” This time is didn’t annoy her, it actually brought a smile to her face. She stopped in her tracks and turned to face the man jogging toward her. “Did you sleep well last night?” he continued, starting to walk with her at a slow pace.

“I crashed as soon as my head hit the pillow,” she admitted, giggling.

He beamed back at her, “Yes, me too. I don’t remember going to sleep— one minute I’m watching latenight telenovelas and the next it’s six am,” he adds jokingly.

“You’re gonna have to tell me what channel that is because I can only call my mom with my phone right now." They laugh together.

"I'm sure she loves that." She sighed, it was true. They were silent for a moment as they approached the glass doors, composing themselves. Pedro quickly grabbed the door first, holding it open for her.

She smiled, "Gracias."

"Es un placer, hermosa" My pleasure, beautiful. Naela looked up at him as she passed through the door, shaking her head at his cheeky smirk. She could hear him chuckle, unable to take himself seriously.

After walking down a long hallway, Naela could smell the coffee. The one open door had to be where it was coming from, so she led them inside. Once she rounded the corner, she was met with a generous spread of breakfast pastries, fresh fruit, and doughnuts.

"Wow, I didn't think I was that hungry until this moment," Pedro pipes up, making the small group laugh. As they picked their breakfast and poured their coffee, more actors started trickling in and doing the same. They eventually took their assigned seats across from Joanna and Boyd, just like last night's seating.

The reading went really well, Naela thought. Some scenes were more awkward than others, like when Javi was meant to be on his knees begging Lucia for a kiss in a drunken stupor. Pedro made up for it by making her laugh with kissy faces.

Once it was over and everyone was filing out to leave, they were about to follow when Naela finally noticed her Manager, Mike, waving them over. Pedro's manger came out of the connecting office Mike was standing in front of and did the same. Naela looked to Pedro, who didn't seem nervous in the slightest. She still had her guard up, but his calmness helped her feel safe.

"We just need to go over some terms with you, okay?" Mike said cheerily. Again with the act, why is he so chipper? She didn't give him a response, she just followed Pedro into the office. She took note of the director behind the desk and the main writer next to him.

"I meant to say this earlier in the reading, but you two and your characters are so important in making this show a success. You are the respite we give our audience after the tragedies depicted in the show." Paul, the main writer started. Naela smiled, but she wasn't sure if that was the correct response yet.

"Yes, exactly. Javi and Lucia, in my opinion, will be the tie between making this a show for everyone and actually getting everyone to watch it." Tom, the director added.

Mike stepped up next to Naela, saying quietly to her, "With that being said, you should know that sometimes actors have to do these kinds of things--" It wasn't quiet enough.

Pedro immediately took a step back, his entire demeanor changing. It was honestly a little scary, on top of the confusion she felt from Mike's words.

"You mean she doesn't know? You didn't ask her?" Mike looked positively terrified as well. His posture shrunk as he withdrew to the wall.

"Am I in trouble?" Naela asked weakly. She begged the tears she felt pricking her eyes not to fall.

"No, no, not at all, sweetheart. Just take a seat," the director answered, gesturing to the leather seats in front of his desk. Her confusion quickly turned to anger. Ugh. Sweetheart.

As she followed his directions, she heard Pedro scoff. She turned to see him storm out of the office before looking back at Tom. Pedro's manager started after him, but stopped when the director held up his hand.

"No, just let him go. He'll come around." Tom sighed and leaned over the desk, making eye contact with Naela.

"So...whether or not you knew what you were signing is not really important. The fact is, you signed one contract for filming with us for six months here. The second contract you signed was for another six months of publicity." Naela was still confused. How would that be a problem? Interviews and internet posts was something she looked forward to doing.

"I didn't want to tell you because I knew you would say no. I wanted you to at least meet Pedro first--" Wait. What does this have to do with Pedro?

"Enough from you. Seriously." Tom interjected. "Naela, I'm sorry this is how your manager let you find out, but what's done is done."

"Can someone please tell me what's going on here?" By this point, Naela's chest was heaving and she was staring to sweat in her seat.

"You and Pedro are going to help us keep the audience engaged in between seasons by being in a PR relationship. Have you ever done something like that before?" She shook her head. Did it really matter at this point?

“I have a boyfriend—“

"Naela, listen. We aren't going to force you and Pedro to do anything crazy. We just need you to be spotted together on a few dates, maybe take each other to a few red carpets and appear on each others social media. Sounds pretty doable, right?" He held out his hand like a peace offering. What else was she supposed to do or say?

"Yeah, sure..." She reluctantly took his hand.

"Perfect. I'll see you bright and early tomorrow morning." Tom smiled, but it almost felt evil. She didn't understand how she could be tricked and no one felt an ounce of remorse for her except for Pedro, who had no power in the situation either. She slowly gathered herself and turned to leave, glaring through Mike as she passed. The fresh air hitting her as she left couldn't even make her feel better.

"Naela!" God, what now? She saw Pedro jogging towards her once more. "Naela, I'm so sorry, I had no idea--" He looked so concerned and apologetic.

"It's okay, Pedro--"

"No, it's not okay! I can't believe he did that to you." He placed a hand on her shoulder, rubbing his thumb in a comforting cadence. "I never would have said yes if you didn't want to--"

"Pedro, it's okay. It's not the worst surprise ever." She smiled unenthusiastically.

"Are you gonna be okay?" It was the only thing that truly mattered to him in that moment, and she could feel that.

She nodded, "Yeah. I'll be okay." He looks at her with sympathy. He feels terrible, and she can tell. He pulls her into a tight hug, wrapping his strong arms around her. She took a deep breath, feeling safe for the first time in a while. She wanted to let go, to cry and tell him everything she felt but she didn't know him like that. Nor was that the right place to do so.

Instead, she whispered, "Thank you," into his chest as he rubbed her back. He finally let go, but it still wasn't long enough. They smiled painfully at each other before going their separate ways.

Once Naela go to her trailer, she couldn't hold it in anymore. She instantly dissolved into tears as she fell onto the futon. It was the kind of cry where you forget to breathe and almost choke. She prayed for this every damn day since she knew she wanted to be an actor. Now that she had it, it wasn't at all the fantasy she thought it would be.

She didn't call her mom, even though she wanted to. She didn't want her to worry, or worse, tell her 'I told you so'. Realistically, she knew her mother would never have to heart to say such a thing, but she didn't want to take any chances.

Even though she really didn’t want to, she did have to call Josh. She also knew exactly what his reaction would be too.

“Are you serious? You told them no, right?”

Sobbing, she held her phone out in front of her, allowing her boyfriend to see her pixelated and grainy form through the screen. “Babe, you don’t understand, I already signed the contract. My manager lied to me, that’s why I’m so upset—“

“I do understand. Just quit.” His tone was condescending as he raised his voice.

“Right, because I have enough money to fly myself back to America right now.” She wiped her dampened cheeks as she sighed, exhausted from fighting with him already. She heard him start to respond, but he was cut off by her spotty connection. Her screen froze for a few seconds before the call failed entirely. She dropped her phone onto the couch next to her before pulling her knees into her chest as her sobs started back up again.

She just wanted someone who understood.

reblog if you made it to the end!

[yelenasdiary]

The Third Widow || Red Room 

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff X Fem! Belova! Reader.

Summary: Y/n Belova is the younger biological sister of Yelena Belova and the adoptive sister of Natasha Romanoff. Saved from Red Room by Melina & Alexei she now must adjust to a new normal. Going to school, recovering, and finding love in the eyes of another troubled teen, Wanda Maximoff. All while General Dreykov has his eyes set on claiming back what he calls his most powerful ‘widow’.

Angst | Dark Themes | 4.2K | Lots of Mentions of Death | Suggested Murder | 

Notes: Flashbacks are bold, italic and start with ‘~’ | Written in second person. | 

Translations: Мэри (Mary)

AC: 8-year time jump, I’m sorry!!! But it helps make the story add up with the black widow movie timeline x I’ve made a couple of changes in the BW script, whoops

The Third Widow Masterlist

"Where did you think I was all this time?" Yelena now, 26 years old asked Natasha. 

"I thought that you got out and were living a normal life" 

"And you just never made contact again?"

"Honestly, I thought you didn't wanna see me."

Yelena scoffed, "Bullshit. You just didn't want your baby sister to tag along, whilst you saved the world with the cool kids" she says. Natasha dried her hands on the given towel at the gas station before walking by her, "you weren't really my sister" she mumbles. "And the Avengers aren't really your family" Yelena turned to follow the red head. 

"They're more of a family than Melina and Alexie" Natasha gives the cashier money for the supplies on the counter leaving Yelena behind in silence. 

Later the two sat at a table while Natasha stitched up Yelena's wound, "did you ever see her?" She asked the blonde. Yelena shook her head, "not physically, but I heard about her" Yelena looked away as Natasha wrapped the bandage around her arm, "He hides her" she added. 

"From you maybe, I can't believe you went back there…the last I heard was Red Room had moved location again and a few widows escaped…I thought you were one of them"

"And leave Y/n there?" Yelena frowned as Natasha took the seat across from her, "you might not feel like we're family but she's mine…that's why I need your help" 

"My help?" Natasha tilted her head slightly. 

"That gas, the counteragent, it was synthesized in secret by an older widow from Melina's generation. I was on the mission to retrieve it, and she exposed me, and I killed the widow that freed me" Yelena explained with a saddened look. 

"Did you have a choice?"

"What you experienced was psychological conditioning. I'm talking about chemically altering brain functions. They're two completely different things. You're fully conscious, but you don't know which part is you. I'm still not sure…I'm not even sure how bad things are for Y/n. He keeps her close to him, away from the rest of us" Yelena sipped her drink.

"Is that all there is left?" Natasha asked with an almost sigh. 

"Mmm-hmm. It's the only thing that can stop Dreykov and his network of widows"

Natasha reached for her drink, "Can you be sure she's still with him?" She asked. 

"He took her from me twice now. I've tried to keep track of things, but he hasn't been sending her on bigger missions like he did. He's trained her differently than us, maybe one in 20 survives the training, becomes a widow. The rest, he kills. To him, we are just things. Weapons with no face that he can just throw away. Because there is always more. And no one's even looking for him" 

"We tried, Yelena. When you took off and didn't tell us, we knew where you were going. We looked for you, we looked for Red Room and we found nothing. We don't even know how you ended up back there"

"I..I don't even remember…I forgot why I was even there in the first place until I was freed again" Yelena's eyes dropped to the table between them leaving them both in silence that neither wanted. "Where you gonna go?" Natasha asked breaking the silence. 

"I don't know. I don't really have anywhere to go back to, so I guess anywhere" Yelena read the label on the bottle of her drink, unsure how where she'd truly go after this. 

"Don't"

"Don't what?" Yelena questioned as she looked back up at Natasha. She chucked at Natasha's sly smirk, "You're going to give me some big hero speech, I can feel it" she adds. "Speeches aren't really my thing" Natasha smiled softly, "Huh?" Yelena replied with a confused look.

"It was more like an invitation" Nat explains. "To go to the Red Room and kill Dreykov?"

"Yeah"

"Even though the Red Room is impossible to find and Dreykov is too slippery to kill?"

"Yeah"

"That sounds like a shitload of work" Yelena slightly cocked a brow. "Yup" Natasha sighs, "Could be fun, though" she adds with a soft smile. 

Meanwhile, Wanda who is now 25 going on 26, has found comfort in being a part of the Avengers and being cozy with Vision, though not a day as gone by where she doesn't think of you and remember the innocent smile on your face and the first time, she kissed you. She still smokes and chuckles almost every time to herself at the memory of you telling her how terrible her trait is. 

When she was first asked to join the Avengers, she looked at Natasha who could barely look at her and acted as if she didn't know who Wanda was, the guilt in Nat's eyes made Wanda join the Avengers. She wasn't surprised to know the Avengers were most of her teachers from school, "that was the worse cover up" she chuckled to Tony when she first joined, "What was that all for huh? So, you could pick us out like candy?" she mumbled. 

She hated how Natasha never spoke about you or even mentioned you to her, even when she tried to ask about you and Yelena, she would brush it off and ignore her. So Wanda did her own thing, her own searching. She came across a book she'd been told before was dangerous, but she didn't seem to care too much and thought about what you'd say if you caught her going against the rules like she did. 

Vision was a good distraction for her, in many ways he reminded her of you and how you were learning to adjust to the new world. It broke her to look at him and not see you, every time she looked at him, she wished so much that it was you and she knew that wasn't far on Vision, but he'd never know… she never told him about you. Vision was able to help her see somewhat of a future together and sometimes she wondered what she'd do if you walked through the door, would she leave him for you? Even if nothing romantic were to happen but just so you knew that you had all her attention, or would she stay with vision and just be a friend you could count on.  

Kate was rightfully mad at Yelena for leaving without even as much as a goodbye. The person she loved so deeply in secret, the one she never told her feelings too just gone without a word broke her just as much as losing you broke her. She took her hurt out on her archery, winning contest after contest but none of that meant nothing to her when she couldn't show Yelena. 

She kept in contact with Wanda and often would spend nights staying up talking to her about things she wished to talk to Yelena about. Kate could hear how much Wanda missed you, whenever your name was brought up in conversation, she wanted to change the topic. It was like you were dead and there was no place for anybody to grief and slowly you became a topic that was just too much for Wanda to listen too.  

----

You needed no time to adjust to the environment that Red Room was. Dreykov sent you on many missions with his daughter, Antonia, even if you were solely there just to make sure she came back alive, neither of you spoke to each other and oddly enough you liked it that way. Your days there spent training no matter how much you already knew, you weren't to miss a day of training if you weren't on missions doing Dreykov's dirty work. 

The other widows feared you and how much you were treated like Dreykov's shiny toy. He used you to set the new standards for Red Room. New widows would be injected with the same sternum you were injected with. You were the new standard, they all had to try and match your skill, your style, everything. Dreykov made becoming a widow a lot harder than it was. Yelena showed clear signs of being able to pass the training, which was perfect for Dreykov's real mission for you, that was until she was freed of course. 

"Kill her. Don't bother bringing her back here" Dreykov spoke as he looked up from his screen towards you. "Yes, sir" you replied as you always did before your eyes dropped to the fellow Widow, you'd only seen in passing, "Is Antonia coming?" You questioned. Dreykov shook his head, "No. This is your mission. This is what have I prepared you for, you will go alone. You will report to me every morning until the mission is complete" he adds in a stern voice, "start with the house address on the second page, if Belova is going anywhere, it'll be there" He shoos you to leave his office, something he did far too many times. 

Sometimes when you saw other widows talking among themselves you couldn't help but feel alone in a world where everywhere you looked was somebody just like you. At night you couldn't stop yourself from looking at the scars and wounds you'd collected from each mission, running your finger over them wondering if it was all worth it. All the killing, the guns, the damage it causes to the people and buildings. Was everything Dreykov made you do really for the best like he says? All these thoughts only to be reminded by the lack of freedom that you would never truly understand your place in the world. You are a weapon, you needed to remember that. 

By morning you found yourself watching the house addressed in the mission file from miles away with binoculars glued to your face watching every move on the property. A woman with dark hair in a braid seemed to be doing some sort of testing on some pigs from what you could see, already assuming that was the famous Melina Vostokoff. Something about the area felt familiar, the house, the trees around you, the smell of the fresh air. You found yourself looking more at Melina with less care for the mission and trying to read her like she was trying to tell you something but maybe that was because you knew little about her from her file or maybe you were too focused on the mission and wanted to know everything there was. 

For hours you sat and watched as she did work around her yard, as the minutes ticked on the place only got more familiar to you, but you still couldn't put a finger on it as to why. Your attention on Melina was broken by the sounds of conversation coming from the hill beside you, with your binoculars you could see a larger man, a little overweight with a big beard and slightly long hair. He was covered in tattoos, his white tank top doing nothing to hide them. Beside him were two young women, one with bright red hair, she wore a white suit while the other women had dirty blonde hair, a baggy white suit with a green vest. You looked down at the mission file to confirm the target was in fact, Yelena Belova. 

You watched the three walk down the hill only to be greeted by Melina holding a rifle, your enhanced earing allowed you to listen to the unexpected greeting before the four traveled into the house. From the window, you could see they all sat at a table pouring drinks. The conversations between them made you take mental notes for when you had to report back to Dreykov. 

"So, here's what's gonna happen" the redhead spoke, you could tell her voice from Yelena's. "Natasha don't slouch" Melina spoke, her Russian accent was thick, "I'm not slouching!" The woman you assumed was Natasha Romanoff argued. 

"Yes, yes, you are!"

"I don't slouch!" Natasha spat.

"You're going to get a back hunch"

"Listen to your mother" a deeper voice spoke; you noted that voice down as Alexei Shostakov. Natasha signed "Oh, my God, this…" 

"Up, up!" Melina prompts as you watch through the binoculars, smiling softly to yourself at the scene you watched from afar. Such an unusual family you thought as you continued to take mental notes and watch the family of four down glasses of what you assumed was vodka. 

For a moment you lost yourself watching the family argue like other families did. "You're gonna tell us the location of the Red Room" Natasha demanded, shifting your attention back to the mission with a slight frown as you listened and watched even more. 

"You can't defeat a man who commands the very will of others. You never saw the culmination of what we started in America, nor did you" Melina explained before you heard saw her pick up her device she was holding before, "What are you doing?" Natasha asked after Melina explained a few more things.

"Oh, I am explaining that the science is now so exact, the subject can be instructed to stop breathing and has no choice but to obey" she goes on.

After moments Melina explained more about the science behind Red Room and how they were able to do the things they do, to you, it meant nothing but knowing you were different to the other widows. Melina didn't mention anything about the things that they injected you with or why, all you knew was that you had to tell Dreykov they were coming for him. 

You could hear the jets before you could see them as they surrounded the house with bright spotlights, guards you knew raided the house while you watched from a far unsure what to do when you saw them take your target, Yelena along with Natasha and Alexei into the jet. 

"Let's not keep him waiting" you heard Melina speak. 

----

You returned to Red Room a few short hours later when you didn't get any commands from Dreykov. Walking by the training widows to your room, you wondered where your target was and why Dreykov sent you on a goose chase. 

"Sir, What was that all ab-"you you paused after welcoming yourself to his office, seeing the red head, Natasha and Dreykov both looking over at you. "You're here. Good" Dreykov muttered but your attention was stuck on Natasha who sat with a frown. "Y-Y/n?" she questioned softly. 

"Oh, that's useless, she doesn't remember you or anybody else" Dreykov inserted himself. 

"What? You brainwashed her?" Natasha spat as she looked at him. "It doesn't matter" he muttered as he walked over to her, "she's better than you, faster, tougher, smarter!" he adds while circling her, "she does everything I say, when I say it. She has no intentions of leaving" he says to her before he looks back at you, "get out, you're not needed now!" He commands and just like he mentioned, you did so without a peep and walked back to your room.

"I know what you and Belova have been doing and let me assure you that it won't work on Y/n" Dreykov chuckled slightly while looking at Natasha. "What have you done to her?" Natasha demanded causing Dreykov to pull out the file he had on you. Everything you have ever done for him on file, everything he's ever done to you, burnt. 

"I gave her a real home" he replied placing the file in front of Natasha. "The Avengers, they kept looking for her. That was you, yes?" he adds. Natasha flicked through your file, some of the details she'd already known. You'd been on the Avengers radar for some time now, they just weren't able to track you back to Red Room. "For years you have been looking for her and now you have Belova looking too? She belongs to me, I raised her" Dreykov rambles as Natasha closes your file. "She belongs with her family!" Natasha looked up at the older man. He chuckled once again, "She has no family, not even Belova. She has no ties to her. Not anymore!"

He circled Natasha once more before leaning against his desk in front of her, "do you know what her next mission is?" He asked. Natasha's jaw clenched as she kept strong eye contact with, "she's going to kill Belova for me, clean up the mess." 

Natasha couldn't help but laugh in the man's face, "kill Yelena? Really?" she chuckles. "Don't laugh at me! At first, I wanted her to kill you for betraying your family but now?" Dreykov moves behind his desk, "do you know what I could do with an Avenger under my control?" he mutters moving his pinkie finger ring across the touch pad. Natasha looked behind her at the large screen with a map and mug shot like photos of thousands of girls, "I gave them all a home, a purpose! I took them off the street and gave them a life!" Dreykov says. 

"You took away their freedom! Their choices! You can't honestly sit there and think you'd a god" Natasha shook her head with a chuckle.

"Is this your plan huh?"

"My plan is to kill you" Natasha stood from her seat, Dreykov cocked a brow, "Well, I'm alive so what are we doing to do now huh?" 

"You don't feel anything, do you?" Natasha frowned, "did you feel anything when I killed your daughter?"

Dreykov laughed as he looked over to Antonia who stood patiently in the background, "Really?" He gestured for Antonia to step forward, "thank you Natasha for giving me one of my greatest weapons" 

---

You knew it would go against Dreykov's orders, but you couldn't help being drawn back to Melina's property, with your target in medical you assumed Dreykov would handle her and with Natasha in his office something didn't feel right. Slipping away without the guards noticing you was easy, especially when Dreykov was already busy with Yelena and Natasha. You traveled back to Melina's property knowing nobody was home, the sense of familiarity washed over you again. 

Slowly you stepped into the house, a familiar smell greeted you as you stood in the kitchen, you'd been here before you told yourself, but nothing was coming to mind as you walked through to the living room and slowly up the stairs to the second floor. You were drawn to the first room on the right as it was the only room with a closed door. Touching the handle and turning it slowly brought you even more of a familiar sense to the building but again, nothing came to mind as to why. 

The room smelt of dust as you switched the light on to see the bed made perfectly, a bookcase full of different books covered in dust leaving a trail from your finger as you ran over it. The desk looks as though this was a teenager's room, a laptop sat perfectly centered in the middle with a black leather book sat beside it. You frowned when you picked up the book, running your index finger over the red impressed name of yours before opening it. 

"There is 365 pages in this book, drawing something for me every day, or don't. But I hope you do – Wanda"  

Read on the first page, "Wanda" you whispered to yourself before flipping to the next page. 

"Happy birthday, Мэри x" 

Read the following page. The words stared back at you as you tried to work out who Mary was and why your name was on a book you'd never seen before and who was Wanda? You flipped to the next page as you sat down on the edge of the perfectly made bed with an even more confused look. A sketched drawing of 7 people sitting around a squared table with a birth cake in front of a young girl, at the bottom of the page wrote "first birthday!!" The longer you looked at the drawing the more you noticed who was in the photo, Yelena, Natasha, Melina, Alexei and two others you weren't sure of but there you were as a young girl with a big smile on her face with a banner above you that said "Happy Birthday" 

Melina's voice soon clouded your mind with what you overheard earlier in the day, "The world functions on a higher level when it is controlled, Dreykov has chemically subjugated agents planted around the globe" 

"Not me!" You mumbled to yourself as you threw the book to the side in frustration, "not me!" You spoke again. Your eyes caught a photo in a frame sitting on the desk, two small girls looking the happiest they've ever looked. You walked over to the photo and picked it up slowly, "Yelena" you whispered as you came to more realization. "Dreykov wanted me to kill Yelena because of this?" You asked yourself hoping that saying the words out loud would make more sense to the situation. Needing to take a moment as your breathing picked up and you felt overwhelmed you dropped the photo and stormed out of the room, leaving the light on. You needed answers and the only person who knew them was Dreykov. 

----

"Where's Y/n?" Natasha asked as Yelena helped reline her shoulder. "I don't know, I couldn't find her. We have to find Dreykov" Yelena replied, "I'll be right behind you" Natasha spoke giving Yelena the nod to go ahead.

Yelena rushed out as the building started to crumble, making sure to search each room in looks for you knowing that Dreykov was already on his way out of the building. Each room only left her with more worry and fear as there was no sign of you anywhere, she only hoped that Melina and Alexei had found you or that you were fortunately, for once, on a mission. Natasha collected all the data she needed for Melina and Yelena to help save the other widows as quickly as she could, even doing more digging in Dreykov's files for your name. To her surprise she found a lot more than she thought she would. 

You arrived at the usual place where Red Room was hidden only to find it crumbling, falling from the sky. Jets of Widows landed safely as you stood in anger waiting for any sign of Dreykov. 

"Y/n, you got out!" One of the Widows came up to you with a worried look, your jaw clenched at the sound of her voice as you looked at her, "Where's Dreykov?! Did you make sure he was safe?!" you asked in a demanding tone, the widow whose name you didn't know looked into your eyes with fear, "T-they didn't spray you with the gas?" she asked. 

"Gas?!" You frowned, "Where is Dreykov?!" You added. 

"W-we don't know…he's been controlling us. They told us we were free…" she tried to explain, "Shut up! Where the hell is he?! You guys a fucking useless!" You spat as you pushed by her. "Wait!" The Widow stopped you by lightly holding your arm, "You don't belong to him anymore, just wait, we'll help you" she said. 

"I don't need your damn help!" You gripped her wrist and forced her to let you go. A loud explosive was heard from above, all of you looked up to see what it was. "That better not be him!" You turned to the Widow. 

"Please, let them explain" 

"Who?!"

"Melina, she knows everything!" 

"We can't trust them!" You shook your head leaving the group of widows behind and began searching the rubble for any signs of Dreykov or Antonia as more pieces of the place you called home fell from the sky. Among the rubble were the bodies of guards that didn't make it to the ground safely but still no sign of Dreykov. With more and more pieces falling you decided to wait where it was safe, further away from the scene and hope to see him land in one of the jets so you could handle him yourself. 

Why was there a photo of Yelena with a toddle that looked a little like you? Why was there a sketch book with a drawing of a first birthday which you only start to feel like was your own, but these people were strangers to you. You only know them from what you've been told, and nothing was ever mentioned about you having any connection to them and if you did, you didn't remember it. 

----

You realized the chances of Dreykov making it out alive were getting thinner by the second, you watched in the shadows as Natasha found Antonia before throwing a red dust into her face and the fight coming to a stop. 

"Is he gone?" Antonia asked out of breath. 

"He's gone" Natasha confirmed your fear. You watched her walk away after a few moments and called for Yelena. Now you'll never have the answers to your questions and without a home, what would you do? Where would you go? 

Natasha found Yelena and you felt relief when you saw her movements from afar. Your heart only broke as you watched the two reconnect and hearing Natasha apologize in Russian. They were a family, a real family. You couldn't bear to watch anymore and it wasn't worth inserting yourself for a fight, quietly you disappeared into the woods leaving behind the only place you knew was safe. You were alone, confused and hurt, all these emotions you had Dreykov told you were worthless now it felt like the only thing that mattered. 

You are alone, with nowhere to go.

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