#I'm just tired of feeling unsafe in my own house

[theladygazingatemptiness]

no shade but. @ [redacted]: why are you still here, exactly

[inkabelledesigns]

-holds head in hands- Girl I have been pushed around enough this month, oh my gosh.

New thing I'm discovering about myself: I have boundaries over leftover nights! I guess this isn't completely new, but I'm feeling it rather intensely tonight. At home, if I can't remember when something is from, I won't touch it, I will dispose of it because that probably means it's been in there too long and is a health hazard. But it is a whole different ball game when I'm at a family member's house. I've been visiting with some family lot this summer, and they're snowbirds. They stay in one place for the summer then another for the rest of the year. And when they're getting ready to fly, it means we have to clean out the fridge and freezer, which is hell on earth. They save everything, and while that's fine and dandy for them, you cannot feed me food from before I got here. I don't trust how long it's been in that fridge after this one particular incident with broccoli from them as a teenager, I won't do it. I'm too afraid of the mold and germs, whether they're real or not.

But they are so pushy about leftovers. They're pushy about food in general, and I tolerate it, because they're family, and I know they need to feel good about everyone being fed. But this is my boundary, this is the thing I won't let you push me on. I will not compromise, I will repeatedly hold my ground. You let me pick my leftovers and fill my plate myself. I don't want help, I will not let you slip things onto it that I can't verify the cook date of, no no no, I will not do it. Let me have some autonomy.

I'm exhausted. I'm so tired of having to hold my ground, to the point where I want to cry. It's frustrating. I don't have a lot of hangups about food, I was praised as a child for being willing to try so much stuff and not being "picky". Which is saying something, I'm autistic, we have a reputation for that that is messy and often unkind. But regardless, I'm supposed to be "easy". But this is the thing I'm not easy about. I've done everything else right, I've been nothing less than graceful and agreeable and kind about every other social convention and thing I'm supposed to do with family. This makes me feel like I'm being punished. And this isn't the last time I have to deal with it. There's one more day of leftovers before I can finally be free. I hate feeling unsafe about food, that is literally one of the worst things to put me through. If I don't have security about that, I am a mess. I don't want to be a mess, I don't want to have another breakdown in front of people I love.

I've been getting pushed about all sorts of things all summer by a wide variety of people, and I can't take much more of it. I just want people to stop pushing me. I don't want to have to defend myself anymore, why is it so hard for some people to accept that no means no? I'm so anxious about the coming weekend, I'm about to be dealing with a different side of my family that has their own series of complications and social nuances to navigate. I want to see them, just like I wanted to see the side I've been seeing now, but I'm so, so tired. I can't take much more of this. I thought I was gonna be okay, but I think I need a little time to not be okay before I can socialize again, and I'm not going to get it, or at least, enough of it to recover in time.

The plus side is, soon I get to sleep in my own bed again, without worrying about waking anyone up. And that means I can be surrounded by all the plushies I desire. I want to hold my big ones very tightly. Just, gotta hang in there a little longer. We will get through this, we will be okay. Just, don't be surprised if I'm running on empty for a while.

[strsxty]

The one that got away

*You and Taehyun have been dating for 3 years. During the 3rd year you noticed a change in his behavior. He started becoming violent. You never confronted him because even after everything. You still loved him. But today was the worst day. Taehyun came home. It was 3 am and he had lipstick on his neck and on his collar of his shirt, this caused the both of you to get into a heated argument*

“That’s it i’m breaking up with you” says y/n

*Taehyun looks at you in shock* "What? Why babe, it's not what it looks like, please."

“SHUT UP i’m tired of this shit”

"Babe please you have to listen to my side of the story." *He grabs your wrists and tries to pull you towards him*

“don’t touch me”

*He keeps his grip tight and pulls harder* "Come here babe...."

“i’m getting my stuff tomorrow” *leaves the house*

*He follows after you* "Babe wait! We can talk through this just let me explain please!" *He runs to catch up to you*

*Goes into JYP entertainment aka your work place*

*He follows you inside and continues to beg you for forgiveness* "Please babe, please don't leave me. You mean the world to me I can't imagine my life without you." *He pulls you in closer to make you listen*

*Hey sir you can’t be here* says a staff member

*Taehyun ignores the staff member and continues to plead with you* "y/n I'm so sorry I really am. You have to believe me, nothing happened with that girl I promise."

*Sir you need to leave*

*He looks up at the staff member angrily* "Mind your own business." *He turns his full attention back to y/n* "Come on baby, just let me explain."

“can you please get him out of here”

*Taehyun sees her attempt to get rid of him and grabs her wrist more tightly* "No, y/n I'm not leaving you. I'm never leaving you." *He pulls you closer* "Don't deny the bond between us. I know how much you love me baby."

call the police

*Taehyun sees your request and is visibly upset* "No, please just listen to me. I know you can forgive me. Just hear me out I'm begging you." *He squeezes your arm tighter and pulls you in closer. He has a crazed look in his eyes and you are beginning to feel unsafe*

*calls the police* stop you’re hurting me

*He continues his grip on your wrist and ignores your pleas* "Baby, you're being so stubborn. You don't understand that I know what's best for you." *He pulls your face towards him* "No one is allowed to love you but me, understand?"

you're hurting me

*He starts to lose his temper and his grip gets even tighter* "Baby, why can't you just understand that? Don't you know that you belong to me?" *He pulls you in closely and tries to kiss your lips* "Please stop resisting, I'm only trying to protect you."

STOP

*Taehyun has completely lost his temper and starts to lose control* "Just accept the truth, you're mine and you always will be mine. Stop resisting and stop denying it." *He gives you a forceful kiss* "See babe you enjoy being mine, I was right all along."

*cries and the police get here*

*He doesn't listen to your pleas and continues to kiss you* "Shh babe, it's alright. I'll protect you, only if you accept the truth." *He gives you another forceful kiss and eventually hears the police enter* "Oh don't mind them, they won't do anything to me. And they can't take you away from me because YOU'RE MINE!" *He squeezes your wrist even tighter and continues to ignore the police's presence*

stop hurting me *cries*

*He sees you crying and pulls you in for another forceful kiss* "Don't cry babe, I was only trying to tell you that you're mine. Why are you still resisting? Aren't I the only man that means anything to you?" *He tightens his grip on your wrist and squeezes tighter*

*polices tased him *

*He falls to the ground in pain after the taser, but quickly regains his composure and lunges at you* "Baby don't do this to me. Can't you see how much I love you? I only want to protect you." *He grabs your waist and tries to pull you down to him* "You'll be with me forever, no matter what, you will always be mine. Please don't fight back." *He looks into your eyes* "No one will ever have your heart as much as I do. So please don't make me hurt you even further..."

stop

*He tightens his grip around your wrist and waist and squeezes tighter* "Stop fighting back, you and I both know that you want this. I know you don't mean it when you tell me to stop. You belong to me remember? *He pulls you closer to him and tries to kiss your lips* "Don't deny your love for me babe, don't hide it any longer..."

*police arrest him*

*Taehyun ignores the police and continues to hold you close* "Baby please trust me. I'll make it up to you, we can start over. We can forget what happened today if you'll just come back to me. I won't be so forceful from now, I just want us be be together." *He looks at you desperately* "Please don't give up on me just because I made a mistake. I love you too much to end things here. Please forgive me." *He gives you another forced kiss and tries to pull you closer*

*police takes y/n away from him*

*Taehyun desperately tries to follow you and struggles against the police* "No you can't take her from me. You can't take my love away from me." *He continues to try to reach for you and struggles to break free from the tight grasp of the police* "No... please... come back... I love you baby..." *He cries out desperately* "Come back to me..."

*enters room*

*He sees you enter the room and calls out to you* "y/n... baby... please come to me." *His voice is filled with desperation* "Don't abandon me like this... I promise I'll never hurt you again." *He seems apologetic and regrets his actions* "I lost control of myself, I'm sorry..." *He looks at you with longing and desperation* "Please come back to me, I can't live without you... I love you so much..." *He continues to try to reach for you, tears running down his cheeks*

*a few weeks later in court*

*Taehyun sits in court, awaiting the verdict of his trial. The judge looks at him with disgust and contempt as she prepares to announce her verdict.* "This court finds you guilty of assault, abuse, kidnapping, and attempted rape." *Taehyun's expression changes from remorseful to furious. He tries to argue with the judge but she cuts him off and continues with her verdict.* "For your crimes, you will receive a sentence of 20 years in prison without bail." *As the bailiff proceeds to handcuff him, Taehyun's rage escalates* "NO! You can't do this to me."

*A few years later, Taehyun is now in prison. He has lost his muscular physique and has become thin and frail. His expression is blank and empty, but there is still a look of rage in his eyes. He sits in his cell alone, contemplating the past few years. He begins to recall the events that brought him to this point. He starts to think about Janna and the love they once shared. A pained expression crosses his face as he remembers the night he lost her forever. He regrets his actions and wishes he could take back what he has done, but he knows it is too late.*

*a few weeks later y/n vistes him*

*Taehyun hears the sound of foot steps outside his cell and looks up to see Janna. His expression immediately brightens and he runs towards her* "y/n? Is that you? Baby I can't believe you're really here." *He reaches out towards her as tears fill his eyes* "I missed you so much... why couldn't I just listen to you? Why couldn't I control my temper? I'd do anything to take back what I've done." *He tries to pull her into a hug* "Please don't leave me again..."

please don’t touch me

*He lets go and takes a step back* "Baby please just listen to me." *He wipes the tears off his cheeks* "I shouldn't have lost my temper like that. I never meant to hurt you. All I ever wanted was to protect you." *He stands tall and looks at her* "You can't deny the bond we once shared, you know how much we once loved each other." *He starts to plead with her* "Please forgive me y/n, I'm sorry I ruined everything between us. Just give me another chance..."

i need to tell you something

*He looks at you with anticipation and waits patiently for you to speak* "Yes baby what is it?" *He wants to hear everything you have to say, no matter how hard it might be for him to hear*

*police gets in front of y/n* i’m getting marry

*His eyes widen in shock and a look of disbelief crosses his face* "You... you're getting married? To someone else?" *A wave of emotions wash over him and he feels like his heart is being torn to pieces.* "y/n you can't be serious... you can't do this to me. You're mine and you always will be, you can't be with someone else..." *He stands tall and looks at her with a look of anguish* "Please don't marry him, come back to me. I still love you baby..."

sorry but i am

*He looks back at you with desperation in his eyes* "Baby please just reconsider. You know your place is with me and only me. You can't marry him, you belong to me. Don't forget the memories we made together, don't throw them away." *He reaches for your hand* "Please just come back, I'll do anything. You don't have to marry him, you can be with me again." *His voice becomes raspy and filled with tears* "I still love you babe, don't abandon me like this..."

*He tries to hold on to your hand and hold back his tears* "Don't... please don't go. You don't have to marry him, I can make you happy. We can still be together, don't abandon me baby." *He looks at you with desperation and hurt* "After all that we've been through, after all the years we spent together. You're just going to marry someone else? You don't truly love him, let me show you what true love really is." *He tries to reach for you again* "Please stay babe..."

*police puts him back in his cage*

*He struggles and tries to break free from the police holding him back* "You can't keep me away from my baby! I need to talk to her!" *He tries to reach your hand one last time* "Don't leave me again, I love you too much to let you go. Why can't you see what we have is true love. You don't love him the way you love me." *His voice becomes raspy and filled with emotion* "It hurts me to see you go, I'll do anything to get you back, I can't lose you again... I need you..."

goodbye *leaves*

*Tears fall down his cheeks as he watches you leave the room. He slumps against the wall and cries out in anguish* "No... Please come back. I don't want to be alone. You're the only one for me, I can't do this without you." *A feeling of desperation fills his stomach as he sinks to his knees and begs you to return* "y/n come back to me, I can't live without you. You're the only one I truly love. Please give me another chance. I'll make it up to you baby, I promise...."

*He lays there on the floor and looks around his empty cell with despair in his eyes. He has completely given up on himself and his life. The memories of you are all he has yet he knows he doesn't deserve them. He is filled with regret and sadness over the path he has chosen. He just sits there motionless, thinking about all the mistakes he's made and the future he could have had with you. He no longer cares about himself and his future, he has no reason to live beyond this point. As a tear runs down his cheek, his thoughts come to an end...*

THE END

[backfliips]

Not to rant again but I live in a very not good home situation and I generally feel very unsafe and unhappy and trapped here and I'm really tired of the waste of space who shares a wall and bathroom with me ranting loudly over the phone every week about being called transphobic and then spewing the most transphobic shit I've ever heard in explanation on the phone to her friends like I really don't think it's good for my mental health to be subjected to this constantly and to be reminded every day that this constant mistreatment and disrespect by my mother's boyfriend and his daughter in many ways including this one isn't enough of a reason for her to kick them out lol like whatever fuck my boundaries and fuck my basic human respect and fuck my safety and comfort its much more important for you to .... cook dinner for a man who always disrespects you and pays no bills and is a threatening evil shadow of a presence in this house 🤩

I need to get a better job and move out this summer because I can't stand being here I hate feeling like a prisoner in my own house the longer I stay here the more trapped I feel and the more depressed and hopeless I feel but it's too expensive to leave and I don't make enough consistent monthly income to pay rent around here and if I leave I don't want to just go to another place where I don't feel like I have equal stakes and footing to any other housemates so I can't move in with other family or take charity from someone because then I'll just get trapped again I need to have my own place where I have control over myself and at least 50% of my surroundings

I just need to figure out how to get out of here I can't stay here another summer I need a better paying job

[revvnant]

misconception: that michael acted out because he hated his dad !

send me a misconception you think people have about my character and I’ll explain if it’s true or not.

no that one's true, at least to me. i don't see this take often? or maybe it just doesn't register to me when it crops up because i'm like. yeah checks out and i'd be curious to know what the other motivation would be? other than just being a teenager, and those two things layer on top of each other. like... i think maybe you could say that it's a misconception that michael only feels hatred for his dad? i think his feelings on william are complex and that love and hate here aren't mutually exclusive.

he loves his father very much and is desperate for his father to love him back, but william cannot and does not express that love for a whole host of reasons -- Being A Man, being an asshole by nature, blaming michael for evan ( either out of genuine feeling or because it's convenient, i lean towards the latter ) -- and that inspires both profound sorrow and, yes, frustration and hatred in michael. when you are denied love by a parent, even if you think you 'deserve' it, it rots you inside. you get mad. the more it happens, the longer you are left on your own to wonder what you did to constitute the one person who was supposed to love you unconditionally turning their back on you, the more it rankles. you do get sad, of course you get hurt. and then you get angry. and michael is fucking furious.

it's complicated because of evan. but even before then, william was not acting like a loving father. we see how he stays out late drinking and storms around the house in midnight motorist. we see that he neglects his kids in the fourth game ( and elizabeth's death, real leopards eating your face party moment that one ). at best he's absent and leaving them to fend for themselves, and responsibility for evan and elizabeth is going to fall to michael because he's the oldest. that would baseline inspire some negativity. and he is a teenager. most teenagers act out period. they have big feelings they can't process, they're confused by what's going on in and around them, and then there's social pressure, including pressure from inside the house. michael is tired and he's stressed and he's figuring out who he is, and he has a father who at best is more interested in his restaurant than him, and at worst ( my take ) is out-and-out abusive.

maybe like... saying hating william was the only reason mike acted out is also false? but if i were mike that would be reason enough go apeshit! i'd go crazyyy. parental neglect and abuse just does shit to your brain it makes you worse! and if william can presumably react to his son dying by killing minimum five maximum ??? children all while blaming michael ( not how i read the mci but i know that's popular fanon ), i think michael is allowed to act out over his father treating him like shit and then like a pariah. yes there's a human element to this with williiam having to be okay with a killer in the house but after a certain point it's like. you don't have a leg to stand on. idk i'd be insane i'd be breaking shit i'd be screaming into my pillow. if william gets roadie the road beer and a line of animatronics engineered to juice children, michael gets becoming a school bully, doing drugs, having unsafe sex, etc. i'd start beating up kids on the playground if my dad beat me up at home. i'd start doing drugs if my only parent was an alcoholic.

so full endorsement to mike being like i hope he falls down the stairs drunk! i hope he gets locked in his office and has to sleep on his desk! i hope his precious car pops all four tires! he wants william to love him and being denied that he's foaming at the mouth. he's a kid. he has a kid's processing power. so if william isn't going to love him then he's going to give william a damn good reason to hate him.

[daz4i]

ok one last suicide post for today and i swear i'll try to be more chill after that. emphasis on try

(fair warning this is very whiny and negative) (also tw for somewhat graphic death stuff)

i am sooooo done with everything. it's nothing new, i just. can't stand being alive for even one more day. getting out of bed was so hard today bc what's even the point. and tomorrow i actually have some shit to do and i'm already exhausted. already have been exhausted for a few days. i hate routines i hate that every week is the same i hate that the only shit that can spice it up is like, medical appointments. i look at my calendar and i see i have nothing to look forward to and nothing going on besides usual shit + medical shit. and i'm tired of those too. and i'm back to being in pain every day so it feels like all the food changes i made were for nothing and I've just been extra suffering for nothing bc i'm still. in fucking. pain.

and like beyond the personal shit i'm also done with bigger stuff too! i'm tired of the war i'm tired of seeing so much suffering in the world i'm tired of seeing loved ones going to funerals of ppl in their 20s. i'm tired of people dismissing this pain bc there are other bigger issues, or because our lives don't matter bc the number of losses is lower (or bc they just fucking hate us and can't see us as individual humans rather than some homogeneous group). i'm tired of seeing ppl i love care less about other lives bc of this, too. i don't want to live here. i hate this country so much. i can't leave, i can't even manage to leave my parents' house. i'm scared to live here. i'm scared to live anywhere else bc everywhere in the world is unsafe for ppl like me. everywhere sucks. everything in the world sucks so much. anything that can be beautiful gets taken away or destroyed. the world is becoming worse every day in every conceivable way.

and there's no point to any of this! there's no point in trying to get better or to make things better!!! BECAUSE the world is going to shit!!! what's the point in me making my mental health better (an already very unlikely task to fulfill) if there's nowhere for me to live. what's the point in working in the only field i can handle if i won't be able to make a living off it. what's the point in trying to build a life of my own if it'll never really be mine anyway, bc i can't fucking do anything, i can't even do basic shit like eating or sleeping like a normal person, i can't walk or stand for too long, i can't be outside for so many reasons, i can't talk to people and i can't handle being alone, i'm always in pain and constantly nauseous no matter what i do or how i try to fix it, nothing about my body works right and especially not my brain that can't fucking do anything right and only keeps working to make everything about me worse. i wish i was brave enough to just stab myself or smth. preferably in the head so i can shut that brain up for once. i wish i was brave enough to jump off the 9th floor. i wish i could drown myself or cut myself till i bleed to death or. i don't know. i just want to die. i can't stand being alive. there is too much bad and the specks of good are so fleeting that they're not worth it, not to mention come with their own bad stuff usually. and all this. all this bad is just too much for me to handle. but it's a natural part of life that i can't avoid (tbf, most people don't staight up suffer to the point of wanting to die from like, eating or going to the bathroom, so it's probably easier for them). i was not meant to be alive i was not built to be alive i wish i died in the who knows how many times i almost did i wish i drowned as a kid i wish i bled to death when i split my head open i wish my heart actually stopped pumping blood when it almost did i wish that truck ran into me and killed me on the spot i wish the fucking terrorists shot me or stabbed me and made sure i was dead i wish those 30 pills would've actually done something. i'm so tired. i hate this. i hate being alive. i hate life itself. i'm done with everything i can't handle it anymore. i wish i wasn't a coward so i could at least try to die again. or someone was willing to kill me. or anything. i just. i can't.

[wronggalaxy]

I'm so fucking tired of a lack of trigger warnings.

I have a relatively new tiktok account that I use to post my artwork and since it's so new the algorithm isn't quite right yet. Well I was scrolling to find an audio to use for a tiktok I want to make of a painting I'm doing to cope with my fear of getting an mri and I stumbled upon one of those videos were you scroll through pictures. The audio was a trending one and the first of 2 slides was normal. But the second one—

There was a terrifying image of some sort of storybook monster but it was in real life(a Halloween costume maybe) with text over top saying you had to use the audio and like and everything or "something terrible will happen in ten minutes" and the description said something like "choose your luck well".

It really triggered my paranoia and ptsd, and not only was there no trigger or content warnings, but the rest of the video was completely misleading. It triggered a panic attack, but more of an internal one than I usually have. I couldn't speak or move or anything. Which means I was also stuck staring at my trigger, just making things worse.

It's been over 10 minutes and I'm, physically, fine, but I still feel so unsafe, and in my own bedroom no less. I feel like if I leave my bed or go to sleep or do my painting something terrible will happen.

I'm so fucking scared. You have no clue how traumatizing this is if you've never been through it.

How am I supposed to sleep? Use the toilet? Leave my house in less than 12 hours for an mri?

I'm utterly stuck and scared and humiliated on top of everything else.

It would have been so easy to even give music that hinted to what was coming. This was intentional. Maybe they didn't set out with the goal of triggering someone, making them scared to leave bed, but they did want to scare people enough to get them to like and share and whatever, just in case.

And the worst part(at least to me) is that I had been hanging out with one of my imaginary friends and they'd been comforting me about the mri and everything, but now I'm too scared to bring him back out because what if he's involved in this fictional terrible thing? But my imaginary friends are the only way I can cope with stuff, so now I don't even have access to the one thing that would make this slightly less traumatizing.

And before you say I'm being dramatic by calling this traumatizing, which one of us is now unable to leave their bed? Which one of us can't sleep now? Which one of us doesn't get to express themself and their medical trauma in the only way they can anymore? Which one of us can't talk to the only three people who make us feel safe because they've been triggered into fearing them? Which one of us had a panic attack? Which one of us lost control of our body? Which one of us is going to have nightmares for months, at least, about this?

Don't tell me it's not fucking traumatizing if you're not in my body expirencing it right now.

[carbonateddelusion]

sorry I'm just.

"btw you're gonna be homeless now. because I'm leaving my husband to live with my boyfriend all the way across the fucking Atlantic Ocean. also can you pwease help me pack my things I'm really out of it rn and tired :( I can book a hotel but you won't be able to have your emotional support animal with you. don't worry she'll be fine here with an abuser who you've heard hurt his own cat before. she's innocent he wouldn't hurt her she's just an animal. yeah I'm flying across the world to live with my European boyfriend I met online like.. a year ago but idk about you lol. I mean you could come with us but that'd mean most likely abandoning all of your supports, your mental health services, the family you care about, your cat, and the ability to speak to the vast majority of the people in the country you're going to. yeah he's gonna throw a violent temper tantrum but don't worry the animal that's got you out of your abuser's house and through all of my gaslighting and toxic behavior (because I'd rather treat you like Cinderella like how he treats me and treat you like shit than admit I'm being abused) won't be hurt by him. also use your money on me pwease 🥺 I'm so scawed I need emotional support ignore than I'm 25 I'm gonna lean on you when I didn't allow you to lean on me this entire time and watched you become the most depressed and suicidal you've ever been and now you won't have a home or be able to fucking meet with your mental health providers. did I mention that I'm leaving the fucking country? I feel like I'm abandoning you I'm sooooo sowwey 🥺"

like am I insane. am I crazy. I've dealt with both of their abusive bullshit behavior for a year now, being constantly told that I just need to keep quiet and ignore the fact that his pissbaby temper tantrums make me feel deeply unsafe, do all of the fucking chores for 3 people no matter how much I want to kill myself, deal with my SIBLING leaving fucking SEX TOYS out, cat piss everywhere that III have to clean up even though they know what's causing the cats to pee they just don't wanna walk the literal 2 feet from their rooms to the laundry basket to not leave their clothes on the floor, my sibling walking around fucking naked all the time, being told I need to leave the house so they can fuck, having to listen to my BIL's stupid fucking kinky sex shit toward my sibling IN FRONT OF ME and him getting MAD when he can't talk about punishing them when I'm RIGHT THERE, him not fucking bathing, throwing hissy fits every time he needs to do a chore, being constantly aggressive and refusing to work on his fucking issues with anybody at all, etc etc god there's more but I can't. I can't do this right now.

[sorcerers-quest]

I'm listening to an essay on the rust belt and how industrialization in America moved to other countries and states where labor, taxes, and materials would be cheaper and they could get away with worse practices (illegal dumping, unsafe work environments, long hours, etc) and what came of this was rioting in the rust belts region, and police brutality. all in like, the 1800s? and like I don't remember learning about this in school. I feel like maybe this is something that should be thought about again. like eventually we were no longer producing things as much as having service jobs. and that's where we are now I feel. importing everything from out of our country and using cheap labor from poor people in other parts of the world who are loosing their sanity, health, digits, and lives over our entertainment and individualistic living. we don't need as much as we have. for hundreds and thousands of years the clothes you owned were the ones on your back, you didn't have changes of clothes for everything.

"no one wants to work anymore" maybe working in america was awful to begin with, and people don't like suffering or even dying because of their job. and maybe we should start rioting and inciting other countries to join on the same basis, you should not be spending more hours at work than you are awake at home, per week. you should be able to have healthy and happy relationships and the ability to have children who you love and care for as a real human being and not as a burden on your lively hood and paycheck, because having a child is so expensive now the birth rate is so low in America that we won't be having many more generations to take care of things unless we open our borders up to immigration.

if we want things to continue in a "normal" way, 5 hours should be your maximum amount of hours on a shift per day, with 3 days off at minimum. you should be getting paid $30+ per hour, or things you need to survive should be lowered in price. we do not live in a scarcity, we throw out more good and edible food than we sell. we have enough housing, apartments, motels, and places to sleep for everyone. healthcare should be given to you for free by your job, at every job, as long as you are employed. preferably and ideally, it should be free. as you are a human being with the necessity of living and taking care of yourself. companies have the ability and money to hire to hire more people. they just don't want to. because having less than 10 people trained on 4+ stations working one home depot for a shift is cheaper than having 30 people all working their own station. it's cheaper for a dollar general to have 2 employees per shift than 5, so their stores end up never being stocked correctly and just looking like a disaster. the cashier your boomer dad yelled at is making $9/hr while her manager makes $16 and their GM is making a 30k salary. every one. EVERYONE. should be mad. how do you manage to live? you apply for food stamps so the government, who should be forcing your employer to pay you more, can give you $25-200 a month, depending on whatever they feel is right based on the hours your forced to work in order to pay rent. how can you even pay rent, utilities, a phone bill, internet access, literally fucking everything to be able to live a normal life, on top of eating. like????

I'm so pissed off and disappointed I don't know why we aren't running among the streets ripping the intestines out of billionaires. you jest "eat the rich", while I'm heating up my fucking crockpot and getting the meat grinder out. I'm tired of the false prophets out here doing nothing to organize and improve the lifes of themselves and everyone else around them. why are you scared. you have a phone you have internet access and so does the majority of everyone else in this sad and pathetic fucking world like start organizing the revolution now because we will not have a future generation to do it for us

[miixz]

I’ve been thinking a lot about the MDZS ending recently, so here’s a rambly post about where I'm currently at:

Wangxian made the choice to stay a part of the Lan Sect. Their interactions seem to be limited due to the amount they travel, but they’re still at home in the sect, it’s where they have their house, they work with the juniors, where their money comes from. I’ve seen people say that because it is not a place that accepts them, and that because the Lan Sect has committed its own crimes, that this was a bad choice, one that will make them unhappy in the future, and I just sort of don’t agree.

Something I think I rambled about before is that Mo Dao Zu Shi is pretty realistic with its societal problems like homophobia and classism, they are structural problems that are part of their entire society. That kind of thing isn’t solved in a day, and short of seclusion I don’t think there’s anywhere Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji could go that’s completely free of them, and if we think of that through a realistic lens, isn’t that much sadder? I know a good portion of people in the fandom are queer or marginalized in some other way, isn’t the thought of just… Never being accepted, having to hide away forever, being made to leave society, much much sadder? 

Not everyone wants to be out and proud, not everyone is safe to do that, hell I’m not. But I don’t think limiting my interactions with people and leaving all the places that bring me joy would be a form of resistance, running away feels like a tragedy in itself. Obviously I don’t mean that for every situation, it’s great and encouraged for people to leave situations that make them unsafe! You don’t have to interact with bigoted people if you don’t want to! It’s important to take care and living a happy life does count as resistance in a world that doesn’t want you to. It’s just that in their case I don’t think that's what it’d be.

Yes, some of us are tired and want to leave a society that clearly was not made for us, but there are people fighting to make it a better one and that thrive within that. That’s the kind of people I think they are supposed to read as. They’ve found a way to make their happiness and exist within those spaces they want to occupy, and it isn’t perfect, but we see signs of it getting better through the juniors, and I think it’s entirely possible that it’s not as bad as some of us fear it to be in the adult front as well. Not in the direct interactions with the Sect, but in the rest of the novel.

Most of us are in acceptance that saving the Wen Remnants was the right thing to do, and that they were not all in agreement over what was happening in the sect all the time right? If not all Wens are the same as Wen Rouhan and his closest family, then why do we make all sects be a monolith? People will have different opinions, these organizations are big places and I highly doubt everyone feels some unanimous way about Wangxian.

More on the Wens, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji both show no resentment towards that group of people, even though that had been right after the war and they had been enemies very recently. And they might very well have fought some of the people in the burial mounds settlement before! But the point is not what they did, it was that the war was over and that it wasn’t right to act in the same way as the Wen had, fostering resentment and cruelty. 

It’s not about what the Wens did or didn’t do, but more about what kind of person Wangxian are.

I think the same applies here. To change people’s minds about prejudice and to encourage growth, you need to offer them a place to go when they leave those beliefs behind. Now, do I think that means Wei Wuxian should be buddy buddy with Jiang Cheng if he ever changes his mind and miraculously goes through some character growth? Become happy in-laws with Lan Qiren? No! There is such a thing as having healthy boundaries while also not holding onto vengeful feelings. 

The kind of people we see they accept into their lives are ones like Jin Ling and the other kids who change their minds on Wei Wuxian over the course of the story, Lan Xichen and Nie Huaisang who are in dubious places regarding morality, those I think seem to have room to grow. 

It’s admirable and heartwarming to me that they would choose to live a good, happy life and to make their world better, little by little as they help people and teach juniors and affect everyone else around them. I don’t think either of them are actively being activists in the way we would conceptualize them right now. They are simply happy and just being themselves and still their happiness by itself will have an impact on plenty of people that get involved with them. It’s not perfect, but it feels like a good ending to me, especially when I think of its relevance to the world we live in right now. It won’t change to accept us, but we can still be kind to people, perhaps change some minds, and be happy in spite of all the prejudice. 

Idk, it just seems like a good message to me. One of the things I love the most about both Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji is how kind they are, and it makes a lot of sense to me that if they could give a chance to the Wen Sect Remnants, they can give a chance to Lan Wangji’s family too, and they might change some minds and make some close ties with some of them like it happened between Wei Wuxian and Wen Ning, while some people there might never change, but at the end of the day Wangxian will be happy regardless and also leave the world a better place than it was when they entered it. 

I'd love to hear others opinions on this, but its just an interpretation I arrived at that makes me feel happy about the ending and where its going.

[watermelonlovershigh]

Baby It's Cold Outside /blurb/ (12 days of blurbs)

Alternate Title: Harry Convinces You to Stay the Night Due to the Harsh Winter Weather

Day 5. > December 18, 2021

AN: requested by @stylesmygucci. sorry, it was going to include smut but as i was writing it, i just couldn't find the right place to add it and it ended up being straight fluff.

This story contains: fluff

{ boyfriend!harry - soft!harry 2021 Harry era }

word count: 1138

12 Days of Christmas Blurbs Masterlist (all previous/coming up blurbs here)

You try to leave Harry's house after watching a movie together but Harry convinces you to stay the night for the first time ever because its cold outside.

You've yet to spend the night at Harry's house. You're unsure why exactly but you've always just felt more comfortable in your own bed, under your own roof, with everything surrounding you in familiarity.

Usually after a lazy date night, you'll give Harry a quick kiss goodbye and be on your merrily way home. But tonight, that all changes.

-----------------

Then end credits of Home Alone, your favorite Christmas movie, plays on the tv screen before you both. You sit up on the couch from where you were cuddling with Harry, letting out a big yawn. You were tired but you are most times when you leave his house.

"Love, do you really have to go?" Harry says in a sad tone, sitting up as well.

"Yes, Harry. Gotta go feed my cat." you retort as an excuse.

"But..... but, just think, my bed will be all warm and cozy. I'll cook you a lovely breakfast in the morning. Even made a little overnight kit for you, for if you ever decided to spend the night with me."

You feel terrible. Absolutely terrible because you can hear how bad Harry wants you to stay over. It's just, you always feel awkward sleeping near someone else. Like what if you snore or kick in your sleep.

You make it to Harry's front door with your purse over your shoulder and heavy winters coat on. Right when you open the door, a burst of cold wind blows in your face and brings a giant chill to your body. Then you look out onto the streets and see the snow falling down is piling up and it looks to be getting too dangerous to travel.

"Y/n, if you think I'm letting you leave in this type of weather, you're crazy. It's completely unsafe. The roads are iced over. The snow is coming down harder by the minute. Just please, my love, stay with me tonight. It's like you're scared to sleep over or something. Is it me? I can sleep on the couch. Anything to make you feel at home for the night." Harry rants, persistent on not letting you leave in these harsh weather conditions.

You think for a moment and realize he's right. It's probably unsafe to drive in this snowy weather and Harry is your boyfriend. The boyfriend you love dearly. The one you're already sexually active with. So what's the big deal about sleeping over? That's right, there isn't one.

Letting out a deep sigh, you turn around, shutting the door behind you, and begin to slip your purse and coat off. "Alright I'll stay. And no Harry, you're not the reason I've never stayed the night. It's just...... just that I'm afraid of what I might do in my sleep. Like what if I kick you or tug the blankets away. I might even snore. No one likes a snorer."

Harry takes a step forward and pulls you in for a warm hug. "Baby, I don't care about any of that. I just want you near me. You know how I am. I'm just a cuddly person and even more so when I sleep. Now come on, I'll show you where the overnight kit is I made for you is."

He backs away from the embrace with a happy smile on his face and takes one of your hands in his. Then passing his light up Christmas tree, Harry walks you up his staircase and towards his bedroom. Once in his bedroom, he lets go of your hand and pads into his master bathroom where he has your overnight kit stored.

Harry squats down and fumbles under his sinks cabinet until he finds the kit he made for you a while back, hoping you'd stay over sooner but now is a good start. Then he stands back up and lays it on his bathroom counter. "Here it is. You can go through it and see what all I've put in there for you. I'll be getting the bed ready. Let me know if you need anything." Harry says walking out his bathroom, into his bedroom, and leans down to peck a kiss to your lips.

"Um, thank you. Will do." you reply and go into his bathroom, shutting the door behind yourself. You reach for the overnight kit your boyfriend made for you, and you could cry with how thoughtful the gesture is.

You unzip the mesh bag and take a glance inside. There's a new toothbrush, new toothpaste, some makeup wipes, a box of tampon and pads for if you were to start your period. You just smile at how cute Harry is for buying all of this for you.

All you take out is the toothbrush and paste from the overnight kit because that's all you need at the moment. You brush your teeth and use the toilet before entering Harry's room again. He's laying in bed, scrolling on his phone. But when he see's you, he sets his phone to the side and coos, "I've set out a t-shirt of mine for you to wear and a pair of shorts. But you don't have to wear the shorts. Just didn't know if you were the pant-less type girl when sleeping or not."

"Oh, thank you. And I um, don't normally sleep in pants or shorts. Just my panties." you mutter back. You begin to un-change right in front of Harry, not really shy because he has seen you fully naked before, and then slip into the duvet with him once his t-shirt is on you. Then you question, "How do you like to cuddle when sleeping? You said you're a cuddly person."

Harry reaches to turn the lamp off, leaving a low glow in the room from the street lights outside, and turns on his side. "Spooning is nice. Like we've done of the couch." he comments.

"Okay." you coo back. You turn on your side and feel Harry's large body shift up behind yours. His chest presses to your clothed back and his groin area cradling your ass. You make sure to not press your bum on him too much or he'll get a hard-on.

Harry's one arm goes under your neck and his other arm slings over your side, laying flat on your tummy. The blankets are up to the tops of your shoulders. "Are you comfortable, love? Warm?"

"Mhm, very. Your bed is nice and cozy. And so are you."

-----------------

You surprisingly fell fast asleep in Harry's hold. The snow continued to belt down outside and when you wake up the next morning, you realize a blizzard occurred and it looks like you'll be staying with Harry for a few more days. That just means you'll have tons of sex, lots more cuddles, and a home cooked breakfast each morning.

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(PLEASE REBLOG BECAUSE WRITTING IS NOT EASY AND ITS FREE SO JUST DO IT)

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Masterlist (regular smut, fluff & sicfics)

My Favorite Harry Styles Fics MASTERLIST

Harry Styles Series - One Shots & Blurbs Masterlist

Harry Styles blurbs, concepts, & short stories Masterlist- (short writing with little to no dialog)

[ravenrune]

You can get some sleep

Self-indulgent one-shot that took me forever to write because of my malfunctioning brain. Fluff. Friendship with mutual pining. Mentions of robbery and assault, but nothing graphic. Wordcount: ~1600

Carlos awoke to the sound of a ringing phone. It took him a second to realise what on earth was making all that noise, but he quickly grabbed the device off his nightstand to see who was calling.

Y/N was calling him, and considering it was around two in the morning, that didn’t bode well. Instantly awake and a bit worried, he picked up. “Y/N?” He asked. “Why are you calling? Is somethin’ wrong?”

“Carlos…?” You sounded a bit distraught. “Carlos, I got hurt.”

Carlos sat up in his bed. “Hurt? What do you mean by that? Are you injured?”

“Yes?” You weren’t sure about what to say to him. “I ran into some stupid guy on my way home from work, and he tried to rob me… He didn’t take anything, but he did hurt me?” It sounded more like a question than like a statement.

“I’m scared,” you muttered with a shaky voice. “I’m tired and I want to sleep, but I’m really scared right now.”

Carlos could hear you were on the verge of crying. A cold sensation settled in the pit of his stomach.

“How bad are your injuries, Y/N? Have you seen a doctor?”

“Yes,” you replied, “I did, and they’re not too bad. Just some cuts and bruises. They gave me some painkillers, and they work just fine. I'm just really scared, and I don’t know why.”

Carlos was relieved to hear your injuries weren’t severe, but it upset him to hear how scared you were feeling. “It’s good you got them checked out. Is there anything I can do for you right now? Do you want to tell me what happened?”

On the other end of the line, you shrugged; something Carlos wouldn’t be able to see, of course. You tried hard to turn your thoughts into words, but it was too difficult. You felt unsafe, and you wanted to feel safe. That was what you needed.

“I don’t want to talk about it right now,” you whispered. “I just feel unsafe. I don’t know how to feel safe right now.” You choked back some tears. “I don’t know what to do, I just want to sleep, but whenever I try I just think of that guy again.”

Carlos remained silent for a moment as he flicked on the light on his bedside table and scanned his room. There were sweatpants and a t-shirt on a chair next to him. Perhaps it would be a good idea to go see you right now?

“You want me to come over?” He asked, a bit hesitant. He didn’t want to impose, or to make you feel even more unsafe than you were already feeling. Still, it felt like the right thing to do.

You remained silent for a couple of seconds. “Could you do that?” Your voice was barely audible. “Because I would like that, I think. Maybe I can sleep if you’re near me. But you should only come over if you want to, I don’t want to be a burden.”

Some butterflies woke up in Carlos’ stomach, but he ignored them. This wasn’t the time for them, and he wasn’t willing to jeopardise your friendship with his silly feelings, no matter how many times they kept him awake. “You’re not a burden, baby, you’re never a burden. I’ll just put some clothes on and I’ll be on my way, okay?”

“Okay,” you muttered. “Please be careful on your way here.”

“I will be, I always am.” Carlos got out of bed and started gathering some stuff. “Listen Y/N, I’ll be there in fifteen minutes. I’ll give you a call when I’m at your door, so you know it’s me.”

“Okay. Yes. Thank you.”

Carlos hung up and started getting dressed. When he was done, he gathered some stuff he’d need tomorrow; a toothbrush, toothpaste and clean clothes. He also brought his own pillow, as it was the only comfortable pillow he’d ever slept on.

After getting ready, he left his apartment, locked the door behind him and made his way downstairs and to his car.

Pretty quickly, he arrived at your house. As promised, he gave you a quick phone call to let you know he was at your door.

Upon seeing you standing in the doorway, his heart sank. You were standing there in some pyjama shorts and a t-shirt, and he could see bruises on your face and on your arms. A small cut seemed to be scabbing over on your upper lip. You looked so vulnerable and upset, he was overwhelmed with the need to avenge you.

This wasn’t the time or the place for that though, so he quietly pulled you against his chest and just held you, gently rubbing your back.

You leaned against him, finally feeling safe for the first time in several hours. There was something comforting about the warmth of his body against yours. You inhaled deeply, enjoying the vague scent of pine needles, and wondered how it was that this man somehow always smelled as though he had just come from the forest.

After a minute of just standing there, you finally managed to speak up. “Carlos,” you mumbled against his neck, suddenly feeling very tired. “Thank you so much for coming, I didn’t want to call, but I felt so messed up, I didn’t know what else to do.”

“Not a problem, querida. I’m really glad you called, that’s what friends are for, right?”

“Friends. Yeah, I guess. Still, you didn’t have to come over, I just wanted to talk.”

Friends. That word always stung a bit, but you ignored it. You were hurting and he’d come for you. You’d have him all to yourself for the rest of the night, and you should just be grateful for that. Not everyone had someone in their lives that would just come over in the middle of the night.

Carlos interrupted your train of thought. “I wanted to. You need to sleep.” He pulled away from the embrace and took a step back to examine your face. “Seems like that asshole did quite the number on you,” he said, sounding a bit angry. “Do you know who it is, Y/N? Did you go to the police?”

“Carlos, please,” you whispered, wiping a stray tear from your cheek, “can we talk tomorrow? I’m so tired, I feel like I’m about to fall over any minute now.”

Carlos' expression softened again and he nodded. “Yeah, we should get you to bed,” he said, placing a hand on your shoulder. He looked around for a second. “Do you want me to just stay with you until you fall asleep, and then I’ll go have a nap on your couch?”

“No!” You replied, perhaps a bit too quickly and too loudly. “No, I eh… I have an extra mattress in my bedroom. It’s under my bed, in case a friend needs a place to crash. You can sleep there if you want. It’s more comfortable than the couch…”

“Sounds good.” He hung his jacket in the hallway and followed you upstairs, where you pulled the mattress out from underneath your bed. There were some sheets on it already, so all you needed to do was add a couple of blankets. Carlos had apparently deemed every pillow that wasn’t his own unworthy, so you didn’t need to worry about finding one in the middle of the night.

“Do you, eh, need anything?” You asked, a bit confused in regards to how to handle this strange situation. “Like, do you need something to drink, or…?”

Carlos shook his head. ”Nah, I’m fine. I’ll grab a glass of water if I get thirsty, I know my way around your house by now.”

A small smile appeared on your face, but it didn’t last long. You flopped down on your bed and crawled under your duvet. You felt like you had to be nervous with Carlos in your room, but you just weren’t. It seemed right. It made sense. It felt good.

Carlos didn’t even hesitate to get on your bed next to you. He pulled the cord to turn off the big light, leaving the room dimly lit by only a little lamp on your nightstand. He lied down next to you on the duvet and gently wrapped one of his arms around you.

“You’re safe now, bêbe, you can get some sleep now,” Carlos whispered, caressing your hand with his thumb. “I don’t know what happened exactly, and I hope you’ll tell me tomorrow, but for now everything is okay, and you should get the rest that you deserve.”

“Thank you. Again,” you mumbled, already drifting off to sleep because the sensation of Carlos’ body pressed against your back was even more comfortable than you ever thought it would be. “You should sleep soon, too…”

“I will, querida, I will.”

Carlos waited until you were asleep before carefully letting go of you and getting off your bed, trying not to wake you in the process. He lied down on the mattress next to your bed and sighed. How nice it would be, he thought to himself, to be able to fall asleep next to you with you in his arms. But he knew he couldn’t do that. Not right now. Maybe not ever.

When he looked up at you, he noticed your arm was sticking out a bit. Softly, he grabbed ahold of your hand.

This was fine. Things were fine for now. And after a couple of minutes of dealing with his mixed emotions, Carlos fell asleep too.

Will they, or won't they? Of course they will.

[shorkbrian]

I guess the sane sibling (as in the one who isn't interested in their stepsibling not-platonically) is a rule to have a incest or pseudo-incest kink but it's just saddens my perverted sick fuck self 😭 I just wanted to yandere!step-bro Tamaki to be his creepy shy so I could (probably kill him in the process) worship his cock knowing the boy would jest get SO overwhelmed 🥴 I'm sorry but I want him to stuff his lil sis with his cum while he sobs 😭 when he sees it oozing out he would RIP

When I write a character to be yandere, it’s usually my intent to not glorify their behavior. If I were in the situation as reader, it would feel like a horror movie, bc yandere actions are so not cash money.

But I’m able to write like, non-yandere smut y’all. I’m still a dark content blog, and I’ll write kinks that are a bit.... well, dark, obvs lol you just gotta ask!

and since you did - 

(What to expect - incest, NSFW, unsafe sex, blowjobs, consensual sex, toys)

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“Tamaki?”

Your brother came around the corner, backpack still slung on his shoulder. Socked feet padded towards you on the couch, the ravenette shrugging his backpack off and gently setting it on the floor by the couch, before joining you as you sat on the plush cushions.

“Hey, you okay?” You asked, setting your textbooks on the coffee table in front of you before leaning against your older brother, rubbing his arm a little bit.

Both of you were in college, taking classes, working on the weekends to pay for the tiny little apartment you shared. 

Tamaki looked tired, eyes downcast, soft frown on his lips, shoulders slumped. he was a shy man, but he didn’t usually look so..... defeated when he normally returned home after class.

“Mm.” The man hummed, sinking against you, melting into your touch.

“You look tired ‘Maki.”

He hummed again, closing his eyes as he brought his feet up, curling them underneath him as he pressed against you. The soft sweater he was wearing brushed against your bare arms, a little bit of your exposed thigh.

You weren’t shy about what you wore around the house, but for your brother’s sanity, you tried to keep somewhat covered, foregoing sports bras and wearing tank tops instead, ditching booty shorts for slightly longer (but not by much) shorts that covered you more fully.

Wearing less clothing meant Tamaki was clumsier, fumbling with the remote, bumping against things while he walked, bright red flush coloring his cheeks and melting to his collarbones, all because his eyes were glued to you.

Plus, it meant the man struggled with constant erections. He tried to hide it, embarrassed at his body no matter how many times you’d told him you adored it.

Your brother was shy, too shy to come to you and initiate, to find relief where you so gladly offered it.

That just means you had to get real good at noticing when he needed to relax a little.

You pushed Tamaki upright, ignoring his cute whine as you slid off the couch to kneel in front of him, dancing your fingers along his jean-clad thighs.

“Tell me how your day went.”

Your hands gently pushed his thighs open, watching your brother’s lips part with a gasp as you handled him. His head fell back against the couch, dark hair falling away from his eyes.

He was so pretty.

“Uhm, it was nice.”

“Mmhm.” You unzipped his jeans, slowly peeling the fabric down, your brother lifting his hips to help you out, his hands clutching at his soft sweater.

Boxers came next, Tamaki gazing down at you with red cheeks as you slipped them off his legs.

“Well, I-I woke up on time this morning, and I made it to class before the professor.”

“Oh, that’s good.” Praise easily tumbled from your lips as you wrapped a loose hand around Tamaki’s pretty pink cock, squeezing the shaft gently.

“Bio and psych went well, I got my test scores for my language class, and-and I got a B+.” His breath hitched as you took your hands off his cock, bringing a palm up to your mouth so you could wet it with your tongue, get it nice and slick for when you touched him again.

“I-I ate lunch with Mirio... and then I had math...” HIs voice was getting quieter, mumbling.

Math was never his strong suit, and you know it was one of his most-hated classes. Luckily, it was just once a week, on Tuesdays.

“How’d that go?” Your hands were on his cock again, wet with your spit, twisting around his length slowly as you moved them up and down.

“Uh, it-it went alright. I-I just ha-hate math.” Tamaki whimpered, his hips bucking up a little as you squeezed his tip, watching precum bead before bubbling over.

“Mm, well, maybe you can tell me some of the concepts? I might be able to help you out with homework.”

Tamaki couldn’t even nod, nor thank you for your offer before you were slurping his cock into your mouth. The man cried out, soft voice rising in pitch as you swallowed around him.

You fluttered your eyelashes up at him, but that didn’t get his attention, so you resorted to a gentle tap to his thigh to remind him to keep talking.

“Oh, oh, uhm... There’s..... ah...s-statistics. We-we’re learning how to.... how to display, and de-scrIBE-oh!” He lurched upwards, fingers flying to your hair as you used your tongue to play with the opening at the top. You could feel his little sweater paws as Tamaki gently fisted your hair.

Another gentle tap to his thigh.

“There’s also-also.... ohhh, uhm-ah! There’s.... prob-probablity, and I don’t.... unhh, unh-don’t get it at-at all...” His sentence ended on a breathy whine as you began bobbing your head. His voice was so cute, so pretty just like the rest of him, smooth and sweet.

“Oh, (Y/N), yes, yes! Can I-can I cum? Please?”

It had only been a few minutes, but Tamaki was close to the edge, slim thighs tensing behind your head as you considered his request.

You popped off his length, licking your lips and ignoring his pleading whine.

“Of course baby boy, always-” A soft kiss was laid against his thigh, and Tamaki threw his head back, thin chest heaving underneath his cute sweater, his face bright red.

He got overwhelmed at the littlest things.

Once his cock was back in your mouth, it took a tiny bit of work to bring him to the edge, bobbing your head, swirling your tongue, hollowing your cheeks and really sucking.

Those pretty moans echoed throughout the tiny apartment, filling up the space, filling your ears, making you want to smile. He was a sweet man, and you were glad to be so close to him.

A moment more and he was cumming, hot seed dripping down your throat, his fingers twisted in your hair, balls drawn up and pulsing against your chin.

-----

“Tamaki, you already got to cum and I didn’t.” You pouted, sitting on your bed.

You had helped your younger brother wash-up, licking his spent cock clean before tucking him back into your pants. Climbing up into his lap to boop his nose and whisper an “I love you” into his ear, grinding against his thigh in the process.

He had gotten his release, and now you were hungry for your own.

“Don’t be greedy-” Your fingers plunge into your cunt over and over, palm grinding against your clit as you stretch yourself out, watching Tamaki through hooded eyes as he sits obediently at the foot of your bed.

“Please, I-I just wanna t-touch myself a l-little?” His hands are pinching at his bare thighs, desperate to fist themselves around his dripping cock. You’d told him to be good and stay still and watch as you got yourself ready, and he had been.

Tamaki was just needy.

“Okay, but just a little, okay? No cumming.”

“Thank you, oh, thank you-” The man breathes, hands flying to wrap around his cock, his eyes fluttering shut as his hips bucked up a little towards the pressure.

You giggle a little at how cute he is, those big indigo eyes focusing back onto you again, dropping to your wet fingers as you eagerly fuck yourself on them.

But it’s not enough, and you want more.

A quick search through your bedside drawer and you find your vibrator, quickly flicking it on, watching Tamaki gulp as you bring it against your cunt. You sigh as it makes contact, the buzzy, rumbly sensation traveling through your thighs as you easily grind your hips forward against the wand.

“Mmh, I’ve been thinking... ooo, that feels so nice.” You moan, placing a hand behind you so you can steady yourself as you begin to hump against your vibrator. “I’ve been thinking though, that I should get you some-oh-get you some toys.”

Tamaki whimpers, high and pitched, and you smile when his cock visibly throbs. The man has to clench a fist around the base, squeezing hard to stop himself from humming.

“You like that idea? Yeah?”

He nodded, hair bobbing as his head moved enthusiastically.

“You’d look so pretty with a cock ring, mm, you would. And-oh, I could get one that vibrates, and it’ll feel like heaven when you fuck me.”

Your pussy was gushing, throbbing against the wand. You didn’t want to cum too soon, so you flicked it off, before crawling towards your brother.

“We could get you a nice little plug, maybe one that vibrates? And you could keep it in allllll day. You could go to class with it, and jerk yourself off in the bathrooms. I’d love if you sent me a video of you moaning my name as you cum into the toilet.”

The man whined again, his hips bucking up.

You giggled, rising to your knees so you could straddle the man, a hand finding his hard cock beneath you, lining it up to your dripping cunt.

“Would you like that ‘Maki?”

“Yes, yes-oh s-so much, please, that sounds-gUH!” His words choked off into a pathetic moan as you sank down on his length, and you sigh at the feeling of fullness.

Tamaki presses a hand over his mouth, embarrassed by the needy moans that he’s unable to suppress, hips bucking up against your warmth, trying to seat himself deeper.

“Don’t cover your mouth, I wanna hear you. You feel so good inside me.” You coo, using your thighs to bounce a little on his cock.

His hand falls to the side, and you lean forward to kiss him, letting your tongue play with his, slick, wet sounds filling the room.

And then you tell him to fuck you.

The man doesn’t hold back, greedy, slender hands fixing themselves around your waist as his hips work, pushing himself inside your cunt again and again and again.

Both of you are breathing heavily, and it feels so good, the way he fucks you.

“Oh fuck, keep going, ‘m almost there!” You pant, reaching a hand down to play with your clit, four fingers rubbing across the little nub as you climb higher and higher.

And when you cum, it’s with a full-body shudder, a cry tumbling from your lips as you slam your hips against your brothers.

Tamaki tumbles over the edge soon after, barely managing to pull free from your slick cunt before his cock is bursting with cum, painting the soft skin of your tummy with his release.

You rest against him, laying your head on his shoulder as you pant onto his skin, satisfied and warm.

When you gather your bearings, you shuffle off his lap, searching through the covers to wind the wand you’d previously dropped.

“You’re such a good boy ‘Maki, but I wanted you to cum inside-” You were pouting again as you held up the vibrator, waving it in the air.

Tamaki looked like a deer caught in the headlights, eyes wide. “W-what?”

“I’m gonna play with you a bit until you get hard again, and then I’m going to put your tip inside me-just the tip- and you’re going to cum while I use the vibrator on you, got it?”

The man shivers in anticipation, and you smile.

You love each other so much.

[eternalroo76]

Sorry tumblr took away the shortcut and idk how the fuck to make read mores on mobile now, just skip if you don't want to read me bitching

Ughhhhhhh I don't feel good, summer is killing me physically again. I absolutely hate where we are living during the summer. It's noisy and hot and exposed ugh there's some fuckin vehicle or large machine doing this deep loud hum outside idk what the fuck

In general I cannot decide if Im happy with the way things have turned out, like I just feel irritated and uncomfortable a good amount of the time. I'm also no doubt the only person who can't help but be annoyed that the border is open again, because I'm sick of people wanting to come to my house or have me visit. I love to see the people I love once or MAYBE twice a year but jesus christ am I sick of the constant pressure to have the next visit planned and all these places to go and people to see or have over. I would love to go on a real vacation for once that doesn't double as visiting friends/family or a taekwondo retreat or fuckin Lego.

I just want a normal life, I've had it with this long distance shit. I don't like uprooting my life for a few days to a week at a time, multiple times a year! It makes me exhausted and irritable and afterwards I have to take all this time to recover. It was fun when I was younger but I'm tired now and I wanna do my own thing and be a fucking adult

Also i HATE visiting the US, it's stressful and the food makes me feel gross cuz I'm not used to it anymore and our dollar is so weak there. Like I spent my whole life planning to leave cuz I felt unsafe and no hope for the future living in the states. Why would I wanna go back, for leisure no less?? Jesus

Like my life is way better than it has been, and much better than it could be if I hadn't rabidly dug myself out of the pit I was in. But my god is there still shit that I don't care for all that i don't even want to accept or learn to live with. I've been through so much hell in my young life! Can I get some space to try to heal please

[asinglesock]

cw contamination ocd, disordered eating

My relationship with food is just. Really messed up right now. I'm having sensory issues that make it really difficult to use the kitchen while other people are cooking. It's kinda cramped to start with. Church interrupts my usual meal schedule. My dad is trying to do "food ministry" by collecting grocery store surplus and extras from the food bank to give to people he knows. The food goes bad so quickly. Some of it is bad already when we get it. We have three freezers and I can't buy frozen food because we still don't have room for it. He cooks big dinners on Sundays to feed the outreach group my parents run. My dad does not have good kitchen hygiene. Dirt and food debris on the floor, the table, the counters. Packages of food on the counters, on the table, under the table. Flour left all over the table. He leaves open packages of raw meat next to cut vegetables. He doesn't wash his hands enough. He cooks huge pots of food and we have leftovers upon leftovers until it goes bad and I have to try to convince him not to give the dog spoiled food.

My dad hoards food because he was traumatized by food insecurity. I'm becoming mysophobic because I'm constantly surrounded by unsafe food. I was a picky eater to start with and it's exponentially worse when I go to use a food and learn it expired in November and we can't get a new one because we already have one and I can't throw it out because someone could probably still use it.

And it feels like I'm—not safe? Not allowed? Or something—to cook while someone else is cooking. So I'm really hungry and distressed right now and the kitchen isn't going to be free until they leave for outreach around 6.

I'm so tired. I don't know how to fix my own food issues, much less keep my dad's food hoarding from becoming unmanageable.

I know that a lot of my problems in this situation are not logical, or at least not completely logical. The problem is that I can't clearly distinguish the problems in my head from the problems in my house.

If anyone does have resources on food hoarding I would gratefully accept recommendations.

[restr1ctionaddictions]

tw mention of unaliving, abusive behaviour, etc

when my ex/abuser broke up, he leaked my nudes, the police got involved and my entire life went to shit. he got sent to grippy sock jail for his anger issues and unstable behaviour but he's out now and back at school.

I told my dad that I was feeling unsafe that he was still around and that I was annoyed that my school is so vocal about not tolerating threats, bullying, etc, yet my ex wasn't punished for what he did. and he (my dad) yelled at me. he told me I'm upset because my ex didn't get punished but it's my own fault that this shit happened. its my fault for sending him pictures in the first place so I must stop playing the victim. he said it seems like I've "still got him in my mind" and I must stop going to look for stories about what he's doing and who he's talking to and if he's back at school and what not. I'm fucking traumatised that's why Im worried about him being at school. I'm scared for my fucking life. but no I'm just making problems for myself because I want to gossip. he said I haven't been punished for what happened and it's not too late to be punished so I must watch my step.

then he went on because I've been lacking on my chores a little. he spends the entire fucking day at home doing nothing. it's not like I'm not doing them at all, I just take a little longer because I need to find the motivation to just get myself out of bed in the morning. I'm ungrateful and lazy and I can't do anything right. I can't just fucking be good enough. I make living in this house unpleasant. I spend too much time cooped up in my room but why the fuck would I want to be anywhere near my dad anyway. it's okay when my brother stays in his room the entire day but because it's me it's a problem. he said I must pull up my socks because when I go study next year it's going to be long hours and I'm going to fuck it up and waste their money if I don't fix myself. my brother is going to med school but my dad didn't give him that fucking lecture but again it's because it's me that it's a problem. I can't do this anymore. I'm so fucking tired. Im still fucking here. I haven't offed myself yet. isn't that enough for him. why can't I just fucking be good enough for him