#I'm scared of what will happen when I go to the u.s. Will I really be safe? Family says it'll be fine but I dont know

[bellflower-goat]

.

[leilakisakabiri]

Jealousy, Jealousy (Gavi)

Summary: You realize that Gavi never gets jealous when other guys are around you and it makes you question if he still likes you. 

Warning(s): None

A/N: Hey! I had some inspiration to write so here I am! I’m trying to release shorter fics while I work on my longer ones. Requests are open!

Word Count: 2.5k+

Masterlist

The first time it happened, you felt relieved that Gavi had decided not to make a scene and instead chose to calmly defuse the situation.

The two of you had been at a club late one night, the high from Barcelona winning hours before pumping through your veins. He had his arms wrapped around you as you both danced to whatever Spanish song the DJ was mixing.

You laughed as he spun you around before pulling you closer, leaning down to whisper in your ear as he moved a strand of hair out of your face. 

"I'm going to grab another drink. Want to come?"

His breath was hot against your ear, and even though it felt like a million degrees in the club, and you were sweating through your dress, you still shivered, his voice sending shockwaves through your system no matter how many times you heard it.

You looked up, locking eyes, "I'm good, I'll save our spot."

He kissed the top of your head before letting go, "Ok I'll be back in a second. Try and find the others if you can."

You gave him an awkward thumbs up as he walked away and he chuckled before disappearing into the crowd.

The two of you had been dating for just shy of three weeks.

You had been friends for months before dating, with you initially being introduced to him through his hometown friends. Then there was a three-month period where you both liked each other but were too scared to admit it and ruin the friendship. Finally, Gavi caved after spending two weeks away from you without contact while he playing in the U.S.

Since he admitted his feelings for you that night on the steps of your shitty college house, he had jumped straight into the relationship, inviting you to his games, to hang out with his friends, and private dinners. You on the other hand still felt like an awkward pre-teen girl every time you were with him, he just made you feel giddy inside, and you reacted to things he said so intensely that the only way to cover it up was with strange humor and stupid jokes.

That led you to now. Sometimes being around him was so overwhelming because you were always scared you would say something to embarrass yourself, and although he never made you feel any less worthy you couldn't help but feel like he could be with someone much better than you.

As you stood there contemplating, you felt a body collide with yours, effectively pulling you out of your thoughts.

You stumbled, feeling hands come up to grip your elbows, stabilizing you.

"Shit- my bad."

You looked up seeing the guy holding you sporting a white button-down and an apologetic smile.

"Sorry, those guys just pushed me. Some friends." He said referring to the group of five or so extremely drunk boys behind you.

You shook your head, "No worries, I wasn't paying attention either."

He smiled, leaning a bit closer, hands still on your elbows, "Hey do I know you? You look really familiar.”

You squinted your eyes as you gazed at him, trying to figure out if you knew him.

"Eh I go to Universitat de Barcelona if that helps."

His eyes lit up at your words, and he nodded, "Yeah, that's totally how I know you. I think you're in my biology class."

You groaned, "No way the one at 8 a.m.?", he nodded, "I'm barely awake for that lecture." you muttered.

"Mean either but it's hard not to notice you."

You only heard half his sentence and looked at him confused, "Sorry what?"

His lips tugged up in a smile as he bent down, shifting closer to you, "I said it's hard not to notice you."

You felt your breath stop as you realized what you had gotten yourself into. You made a move to shy away when you heard Gavi call your name.

You lifted your head seeing him approaching as he carried your drink, "Hey who's this?"

You went to interject and tell him it was no one but the guy next to you interrupted, "Hey man, I got to school with her.”

Gavi nodded, accepting his answer as he handed you your drink, "Oh class friend?"

You went to speak but were again cut off by the guy next to you, who had still to let go of your elbow.

"Something like that."

You saw Gavi's posture slightly straighten at his words but he relaxed a second later, "Alright."

The guy turned to you saying something about seeing you in class and then proceeded to give you a hug, his arms wrapping around your lower back.

You noticed Gavi watching the exchange but he made no comment.

You approached him timidly, unsure of if he was going to say anything about the situation, but he paid it no mind, going back to casual conversation with you.

At the time you let out a breath, thankful that he seemed intent on letting you handle your own situation.

That thankfulness soon turned to annoyance and then confusion when similar situations happened time and time again and he made no effort to speak up.

You supposed it was good he never got jealous because you knew it could get very overbearing very fast, and yet, you couldn't help the twinge of defeat you felt every time someone tried to make a move on you and he did nothing to stop them or even show a ounce of emotion.

Slowly it was making you start to question your relationship with Gavi.

Why did he not get jealous? Was it because he didn't see others as a threat? Or didn't feel the need to because you weren't as pretty as the other girls he was seen with? Maybe he simply didn't care? Or perhaps he wasn't the type?

You knew the last one couldn't possibly be true because he was absolutely the type. His entire career was based on his passion, determination, and aggression to get where he wanted. His aggression is what made him so competitive and a loyal player. So if he was so driven and passionate on the field, why was that not carrying over into your relationship?

It wasn't until almost two months later that things came to a boiling point.

It was the last game of the pre-season for Barcelona and spirits were high, everyone hoping they could seal off a great season, and enter a new one, with a win.

The stadium was filled to the brim with fans and reporters. The family section was also full with player's partners and families coming to support them in the final game of the summer.

You were sitting next to Anna, the two of you talking about school, work, and life.

Eventually, the game started and you went into full-on fan mode - cheering along when Barca made impressive plays and booing when they were tackled.

The stadium was abuzz with energy, and you basked in everyone's excitement.

You gripped Anna's hand as you saw Gavi running up the sidelines towards the other team's defense, Joao running parallel to him.

You saw him sidestep, dodging the defender, and suddenly the ball was soaring, perfectly landing at Joao's feet as he placed it into the back of the net.

The two of you jumped up, cheering along with the rest of the crowd. It seemed like Barcelona would have its victory after all.

After the game, you stayed in the family section for a while chatting with Pedri's parents as you waited for the players to make a re-emerge.

You bid goodbye to them when you got a text from Gavi telling you to come down.

You made your way down to the field, waiting behind the barricades for him to appear.

The other team's players appeared first, signing fans t-shirts and taking photos.

"Need something signed?"

You saw a player from the other team approach you, waving a sharpie in his hand.

You pointed at your jersey playfully, "No thanks. I'm a Barca girl if you couldn't tell."

He grinned, "Ahh c'mon what will it take for me to convince you?"

You shrugged your shoulders, "Ride or die sorry."

He clutched his hand to his heart in mock offense, "Ouch. I'm hurt, but I'm not giving up."

You gave him a smile, remaining polite, as you looked over his shoulder for Gavi.

"Oh I know!" he exclaimed, directing your attention back to him.

He wiggled his eyebrows before taking off his shirt, "Here, new jersey for you."

He held it out to you, and you gave him an unimpressed look.

He rolled his eyes playfully, "Alright fine. I'll sign it, but only cause you asked so nicely."

You watched amused as he signed the jersey before offering it to you.

You squinted your eyes at him.

He dangled the jersey in his hands, "C'mon take it. You know a lot of people would pay good money for this."

You reached out to grab it, "Fine, but only because I'm going to sell it later."

He held up his hands in surrender, "It's yours now. Do whatever."

You thought the conversation would end there but he made no effort to leave, "Who are you here with anyway? Someone in Barca?"

You opened your mouth to respond but were cut off.

"Me."

You whipped your head to see that Gavi had silently approached the two of you.

Besides yourself, you felt a tiny part of you waiting with bated breath for him to do something, to finally dig his boots in the ground and say something, but he remained impassive.

"Hey."

"Hey, you ready to go?" Gavi asked.

You nodded your head, unsure of how to leave the situation.

"I can lift you over the barricade if you need." The other player spoke up, and your eyes immediately flitted over to Gavi's to gauge his reaction.

His eyebrows furrowed but he didn't say anything.

You debated for a second, just to get Gavi to react, but quickly decided against it, opting to just walk around the barricade.

You approached the two of them quickly and with a hasty goodbye followed Gavi as he left the pitch. You heard the other player shout a 'see you around', and you waved in response.

You broke the silence first as you walked the empty tunnel, "Great game baby. You did amazing."

"Thanks."

His reply was clipped.

He went to hold your hand and you shifted the jersey last second to your other hand, catching his attention.

"What's that?"

"Oh, that guy gave me his jersey. I'm going to sell it." You explained, telling him how you were expecting to make hundreds.

He listened along till you finished.

"Can I see the jersey?"

You nodded handing it to him.

You swung your joint hands as you walked, talking to him about the game as he examined the jersey.

Abruptly he dropped your hand, mouth set in a firm line.

Your eyebrows stitched together, "What's wrong?"

He cleared his throat before handing you the jersey.

"I think there's something for you on it."

"I forgot something in the locker room, I'll be right back." He continued.

You looked down confused, eyes scanning the text before it clicked.

The jersey had the player's phone number on it.

You lifted your head seeing him already walking away, "Gavi wait. Can you stop for a minute?"

He turned around but continued moving, "Yeah what?"

"Stop moving!” You exclaimed, your frustration building as he continued to not express any interest in the situation.

He finally halted and you closed the distance between the two of you.

"Is there something wrong with me? Do you not like me anymore or something?"

He seemed taken aback by your words and several emotions flitted across his face, "What are you talking about?"

You took a breath, it was now or never.

"I'm not trying to sound conceited, but I'm pretty sure that guy was hitting on me-"

"He was." Gavi confirmed.

You continued, "So then why don't you care? I'm your girlfriend, so why aren't you getting jealous when other guys hit on me?"

"You want me to get jealous?" He asked incredulously.

"I mean I don't want you to become super overprotective or anything, but it would be nice if you at least acknowledged when someone is trying to get with me right in front of you. I know I would get jealous if someone was saying that to you."

"You don't think I get jealous?" His voice had a hard edge to it, and suddenly you felt like you might have read between the lines wrong.

You shrugged your shoulders, unsure, "I mean you don't show it."

"Of course I'm going to notice when some guy is eye fucking my girl one foot away from me, I'm not fucking blind."

"Then why don't you say anything?" You pressed.

“Shit y/n that's cause I don't want to scare you away!"

His admission only confused you further, and you lowered your voice acutely aware that your shouts were probably carrying far in the quiet tunnel,

"Scare me away? Why would that scare me?"

He shook his head, "The press is always making me out to be this bad guy. This kid that doesn't know how to get his temper in check and - mierda y/n - I don't want to get into this right now."

You relented, unwilling to give in, biting the bullet, "Alright so next time someone asks to lift me up, their just being friendly right? Trying to be helpful?"

His eyes blazed, "That's not what I meant and you know it."

You lifted your hands in frustration, "No Gavi actually I don't know that. You act like you don't even care."

"I care! Trust me y/n I care!" He argued.

"Then show me."

His lips were on yours before you had even finished processing what you were saying. His skin felt hot against yours as his fingers sank into your hipbone, crowding you against the wall.

You lost your train of thought as you got lost in the sensation he provided you. One hand went to tangle in his hair, as the other draped around his neck bringing him impossibly closer.

One of his hands slipped under your shirt, as he kissed you senseless. You finally pulled away for a breath but he didn't stop, moving to lay a trail of kisses from the sweet spot behind your ear, down your neck, and onto your collarbone.

You left out a soft moan underneath him, the feeling causing tingles in your spine, and a fluttery feeling in your stomach.

"We should really sto- fuck gavi - so-someone could walk in any moment." You reminded him.

"Just gotta leave a mark." He replied.

You nodded before his words caught up to you and you pushed him off, "What? No marks! I have to meet your parents tonight." You whined.

He grinned, not looking the least bit apologetic, "At least people will know you're mine now."

[lightlycareless]

How could you break my heart on Valentine’s Day??? Waaaahhhhhh, it makes sense but it still hurts. You’re gonna give me a part three or else 🔫

Seriously though it was really good! I loved it. I calculated and rounded up how much Naoya paid Mei Mei in U.S. Dollars and this dude really paid her around $17,500 and that’s not including all the gifts he bought Y/N. If I was Naoya’s parents, his debit card is getting confiscated. That is INSANE. I can’t imagine if they somehow managed to force out what actually happened to learn he spent all that on a girl that didn’t even RECIPROCATE his feelings like oh my god. I can’t imagine the earful poor Ranta is gonna get especially since this was kinda his idea for Naoya to confess his feelings(Although I don’t know if Ranta thought he’d go about it like this).

I wonder though if Y/N would reconsider Naoya’s feelings if she read his letter. Oof but now I’m thinking about what she’d do if she learned Naoya was the reason why she didn’t receive any gifts. I don’t know how long he’d stay on her bad side after that.

Hello anon!

Gee this is surely a really late response, but I still hope you know I appreciate your lovely words about my work!! Thank you so much 🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I'm sorry that I broke your heart on the 14th haha it was kind of unexpected ngl, but that's just where the characters took me 🤭 though it's not all sad... if you know you know.

AS FOR THE MONEY HAHAHAH poor Naoya, he definitely got an earful from his parents, or more like the people in charge of the finances, I doubt Naobito cared enough to scold him (shall I make Tomoko involved? IF SHE WAS AROUND THOUGH THINGS WOULD'VE TURNED SO DIFFERENT) Damn I need to write a small drabble explaining what happened there, but in the meantime, it kind of went like this:

Ranta: What happened Naoya?

Naoya: nothing. *doesn't talk to anyone for weeks*

Ranta: That bad?

Naoya: :(

(he doesn't regret spending all that money on you. it's like a hobby of his lol he loves it.)

But anyways, I keep thinking that the third part for this series I would like something like an epilogue, a peak into the future…

Warnings: none. Fluff. A happy ending 😊. (By the way, this is the oneshot anon is referring to. Highly recommend reading this first!!!)

Happy reading!

“—And that, dumpling, was your papa’s and I first valentine’s day together! Kind of, not really, but it was the first time I got gifts from him. It was certainly different from what I expected, but if you look really closely, it was very sweet, and now, I’m able to look back on it fondly!” You smile; truly, who would’ve thought that you’d end up marrying that awkward, somewhat intense kid? And having a beautiful daughter too?

Though you could see in Naomi’s tense chubby face that this wasn’t exactly the romantic story she was hoping to hear, and you do not blame her, Naoya’s approach had been nothing short of alarming and unexpected, just enough to scare you off from ever considering something more from him!

But his subtle persistence, the small gestures he’d still give you even when openly denouncing he’ll never seek you again, is what eventually persuaded you otherwise.

Through his attentiveness when you were out on a mission with him, making sure that you were neither too cold nor too hot, either through offering you something to drink or his own sweater to wear.

Quick to save you from a curse that got too close, or a fellow student you were not in the mood to entertain.

Whenever you needed help with jujutsu—either a term you didn’t quite understand just yet, or plain practice. Naoya had much more experience than you, so it was only natural that you’d seek him; that wouldn’t change even with that awkward valentine’s interaction…

But above all, what made you see that Naoya might be the one you were waiting for all along, is the fact that he remembered all the things you liked, the ones that made you happy—from sweets, food, to even your favorite characters…

If his emotions weren’t genuine, he wouldn’t have done such a thing!

Perhaps your only regret is ever giving him the idea that you couldn’t come to appreciate him, or that he wasn’t deserving of love.

But that was long in the past, and after a few dates, and getting to know each other… you two fell in love.

Unfortunately, Naomi wouldn’t come to see it that way.

“What’s wrong, pumpkin? This isn’t the story you expected?” Naoya asks with a smile, enjoying the way she huffed in response—though that satisfaction wouldn’t last long.

“No, papa, you were creepy.” She pouted, and her mama could almost hear his heart shatter.

“Oh.” Naoya doesn’t even come to wonder how she knew of such word, undoubtedly from his cousins, but that would be a matter to tend to later after he mends his broken heart.

“Well, he’s done his due! Papa loves us very, very much and would never do anything to scare us!”

“Thanks, Y/N.” Naoya responds sarcastically. “That makes me feel much better.”

You giggle.

“Why don’t you leave us alone, pumpkin? Papa and I need to talk a bit.”

And Naomi obeys immediately after, not that it took much for her to do so, for her disappointment rapidly pushed her to seek something better, a bit more entertaining—like Mai and Maki’s daily occurrences, more ways to annoy her father and such.

Once alone, the two are able to freely look back on that fateful day…

“What I did back then was messed up, wasn’t it?” Naoya sighs.

“I wouldn’t say that necessarily.” You add.

“But nothing happened after that.” He says. “Things didn’t change until much later.”

“Well, I did get to see a new side of you, one I didn’t think you had.”

“What did you think of me…?”

“That you were… bold. Arrogant, a bit snobby too…” you say, Naoya’s face reddens out of shame.

“Don’t—Don’t say anything else.” He frowns. “I get the idea loud and clear…”

“But that you were sweet too.” You smile, taking his hand. “I’ve never been lucky enough to have someone hold such strong feelings for me… thought it to be something out of a fairy tale—Until I met you—someone that harbored so much love to give but didn’t know how to express it.”

“You make me sound much nobler than what I really am—I don’t know how you do it, Y/N…”

“It took me time to get there, love.” You laugh. “But it’s only because you’re so cute that I eventually thought otherwise.”

“Cute?” he huffs, ready to retort otherwise, until you lean in to kiss his cheek, gesture enough to have him willing. “Alright—but only you can call me that.”

“I better be the only one.” You warn. “Although I was hoping our dumpling would do so too when I told her our story…”

“…Well, I can’t blame her, it must’ve sounded crazy for her.” Naoya sighs. “…If someone dared do the same thing to my daughter you can be sure I’d send the kukuru to get rid of him! No jerk is going to impress her!”

“I don’t think that’ll happen; Naomi didn’t seem amused by us either way.” You reassure him. “And she’s too young to be worried about that too! All she cares about right now is when will her papa get her that kitten he promised her…”

“I’m working on it!” Naoya frets. “It’s just that kittens aren’t born until later in the year…”

“Well, let’s hope that you aren’t too late, something tells me that my sister might be already on the lookout…”

“NO, she’s not.” Naoya breathes. “I will never forgive her if she does!”

But you just shrug playfully, not really giving Naoya much of an opportunity to not worry about spoiling his daughter, fearing that he might lose the position of favorite human in the whole wide world against your sister! A rank Hinata has been coveting for as long as he could remember, competing with the rest of your family too…

A tough endeavor, though he’ll have something else to worry about now.

“By the way… I’m aware of what you did with what you did with the gifts.” You say, he freezes.

“Ho—How?” he blinks.

“Shoko told me. Mei Mei wasn’t that… fond of keeping secrets that were too juicy to hide.” You reveal.

“That woman… she told me that—!” but he goes silent, understanding there was a much bigger issue at hand. “…Are you angry with me?”

“Yes, so angry, that I’ve decided to personally torment you for the rest of our lives!” You tease, at the mischief of your voice, a weight is lifted from Naoya’s shoulders. “I was angry, but… it didn’t last long, considering that some of those gifts were from people I didn’t really want to be involved with… so, you kind of did me a favor… though I did have to go through a whole day thinking I didn’t get anything…”

“…I’m sorry—I might’ve gotten ahead of myself trying to impress you…”

“Well, for all the chocolate I missed back then, you made up for me, tenfold!” you grin, wrapping him in your arms and placing kisses all over his cheeks until you could no more. “I love you, Naoya—you and all of your bold, extravagant, though a bit silly, ways. So don’t worry about that anymore, not when it was the reason that brought us together.”

Naoya blushes, letting himself be consumed by the incessant demonstrations of your affection and the acceptance of your words, for there was honesty behind them—even when a rocky start, it ultimately fated the two together.

What was once nothing but a dream, one that seemed so far away on the day you rejected him…

Now was his everyday reality—if not better, for it brought along a small bundle of joy that made both of your lives happier, although there were moments where she didn’t feel particularly the same, unamused by her parent’s antics from time to time…

But even then, he wouldn’t want it any other way.

They got their happy ending nonetheless :') Really, that day was only the beginning for them. It was enough for Y/N to finally set her eyes on him!! And the rest is history 🥺❤️

Thankfully I do plan to write a bit more of this HS AU, you know, the simple things like them slowly falling in love 🥺 ajfghajkghajghjkas this has to be one of my favorite au's (if not the favorite haha) can't wait to write them in time.

Now, thank you so much for your support and patience 🥺❤️❤️!!!! I'm really glad you're liking my work!!!

Take care, and hope to see you soon!!

[anonymityisfunwriter]

Two Sides of The Same Coin - Chapter 15: "A Place in This World"

"Don't know what's down this road, I'm just walking trying to see through the rain coming down..."

Pairing: Sunshine!Reader x Grumpy!Bucky Barnes

"I hope this room is big enough," Sam mumbles mostly to himself. The both of you were standing in what was your room, one down an endless corridor of rooms that belonged to your new team. 

"You worry too much - I'll be fine."

"I want you to be comfortable here. Have your own space to get away from all the chaos that happens here."

"Look there's enough room for a bed and a desk. It's great," you assure him, enthusiastically nodding to hopefully placate Sam. 

"That," he emphasizes, his eyes flickering to the foam mattress topper. "Is not a bed."

"It's good enough for me."

He nods, watching you for a moment to try to discern whether you're being genuine or you just don't want him to worry.

All your boxes are unpacked with the help of Sam when you hear a light knock at your door. You turn to see Wanda at the doorway, warmly smiling at you and Sam. “Can I talk to you for a moment?” she asks, looking directly at you.

“Uh, sure,” you nod hesitantly. This was another conversation you were dreading, coming face-to-face with the person you'd injured. Even if it wasn't intentionally. Both Bucky and Sam told you over and over that Wanda did not hold what happened against you. You tried to digest that, to come to terms with what had happened, but it was more difficult than you were letting on. 

“Are you going to be okay?” Sam asks, resting his hand on your shoulder. 

“I’m not going to hurt her,” Wanda scoffs playfully.

“You know I didn’t mean it like that, just don’t want any more weird-magic-y kind of incidents.”

“I know, just teasing,” Wanda smiles wryly at Sam. He looks at you one more time for reassurance, you nod again, silently letting him know that you'll be okay.

"How are you settling in?" she asks as Sam leaves the room.

"Pretty good," you smile, chewing on the inside of your cheek as you try to find the right words to say. The tension is palpable as you both realize this is the first actual conversation you'd ever had with each other. And you'd already gotten off on the wrong foot. But it was a terrible moment that you were desperate to put behind you and to do that, this conversation had to happen.

“I’m sorry,” you both blurt at the same time. You and Wanda both chuckle as she takes a seat on your desk chair. 

"What are you sorry for?" you question.

"It wasn't right to look in your head. I knew that. It was wrong, and there was no excuse for it."

“What I did wasn't right either. I really wasn't trying to hurt you. It’s all new to me," you begin explaining. "Using the powers, being out here. It’s all…”

“Overwhelming?” she offers.

“Exactly.”

“You know, I do understand what you’re going through. Being here the compound, the U.S. It's overwhelming. And I used to think of myself, and the world really, in one absolute way. Similar to how you think of yourself. Only capable of being one thing- good or bad. My powers, the world,” she says, a small glow emanating from the palm of her hand. “It was either good or bad.”

“Do you still think like that?” you ask, staring at your own palm.

“I went through what I imagine you went through, what you are going through. I dropped a building on civilians, people died because of my mistake,” she solemnly confesses. 

“What did you do?”

“I felt guilty for a very long time. I was afraid of myself- people were afraid of me, and suddenly I was something else. Still me, but not quite. And being here in the Compound, surrounded by people who have wronged each other, fought against each other, only to come together later- it wasn't easy for me.”

You profusely shake your head. “I saw the way Tony and Steve looked at me, like they were scared…of me. I feel like I just proved them right about me.”

“You didn’t,” Wanda interjects immediately. “They are not right.”

“Right,” you mumble, nervously twisting and untwisting your fingers. “You know about them.”

“I shouldn’t have looked in your head,” she repeats, and you believe her. You believe that the whole thing was just a freak accident that probably could have been avoided- on both of your parts. You'd just never hurt another person like that before, it was a tough pill to swallow. 

“It’s okay,” you say, offering Wanda a small smile. “I shouldn’t have forced the air out of your lungs. Or made everyone search the woods for me."

She chuckles, feeling more at ease with your warm demeanor. “You’re very open- it’s refreshing.”

“Mm…It’s more like I don’t quite comprehend the complexities and nuances of modern-day social constructs and norms- or at least that's what I was told,” you cheekily remark, slightly wrinkling your nose as you remember the remarks of the many psychologists and therapist you'd seen since you joined the outside world.

“And funny too.”

“So you don’t hate me?”

“You don’t hate me?” Wanda counters. 

"I don't hate anyone."

"Not even the people who took your life away?" Wanda asks before she can think to stop herself. 

"Not even them," you vaguely admit. It was hard to hate people you didn't know. You just couldn't bring yourself to hate them, if you hated them, if you allowed that to take root inside you, you weren't sure that you could ever stop. And then they would be right about you. 

"I suppose you're better than most."

"I don't think that's true."

"It is," she corrects, standing up off your chair. "You should remember that."

Next Chapter

"Two Sides Of The Same Coin" Chapter List AnonymityIsFun Masterlist

[ladylooch]

Did Emma have any scares with the pregnancies or had to go to the hospital. That made timo worry the whole time ? He wanted to stay home with her, making lexi keep an eye on her.

Yes, Emma had blood pressure issues with the twins which is what got her put on bed rest.

As she got farther along, she kept creeping up into concerning numbers. Eventually, she has a scare that requires her to be admitted to the hospital. Luckily, this is in the off-season and they had decided to stay in the U.S. over the summer, so there was no risk of being split apart once the season started. The twins were born quickly after the season opener, but Emma had been admitted to the hospital again right before.

Timo is scared. Beside himself with worry for Emma and the babies. He can barely sleep let alone perform on the ice. Emma is putting on a brave face, sensing her husband's distress at the situation. The team has a two day road trip after she is admitted and he is refusing to go.

"I'm not going."

"Babe, you're going to Detroit. You'll be close."

"No. I'm not leaving when my pregnant, high risk wife is in the hospital. I'll stay here and take care of the kids. You rest."

"My parents are coming." Timo scowls at Emma, annoyed with her lack of concern.

"What part of I'm not going are you not connecting with?"

"I want you to go."

"I don't care!" Timo rushes a hand through his hair. "No."

"T, you know as well as I do that you really can't stay here. You need to go. I need you here when the babies are born while I recover. So I don't want you using your three days now."

"It will just be personal leave. Not paternal."

"T. I'm not going to ask you again. Please go home and pack. I will see you when you are back."

"You are so fucking frustrating right now."

Eventually, Timo calms down enough for him and Emma to rationally talk. He begrudgingly agrees he will leave, to save the time for when their twin boys enter the world. How fucking stupid. This wouldn't happen if they were back home. If he had a different job. If they didn't have to constantly sacrifice their family for his dream.

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FROM THE BOURNE TRILOGY *  assorted dialogue from identity, supremacy, and ultimatum

who has a safety deposit box full of money and six passports and a gun?

nobody does the right thing.

you haven't slept for a long time.

why don't you sit down.

perhaps we can arrange a meet.

we've been through this.

you really don't remember, do you?

that sounds ominous. let me check my schedule.

what were my words? what did i say?

you move, you die.

thanks for the ride.

welcome to the program.

nothing in those files makes their sacrifice worthwhile.

i don't want to do this anymore.

they found a body.

i'm sitting in my office.

my argument is not with you.

we got a bump coming up.

what happened?

look, what's going on? why are these people after me?

i hear you're still looking for me.

everything i found out, i wanna forget.

i told you to come alone.

someone started all this, and i'm going to find them.

why would you doubt that?

who's your source?

tell me who i am.

i want to know what's going on.

i was hoping you had some time for me.

if there's something you're not telling me, i want it now.

i don't think that's a decision you can make.

you're u.s. government property.

i said leave me alone.

do you have any idea who you're dealing with?

what basis are you continuing this operation on?

i told them i believed you.

why are you helping me?

have you locked down the area?

you don't know the circumstances.

i wanted to thank you.

we got what we needed.

please don't hurt me.

we clear on that?

you start down this path, where does it end?

i can run flat out for a half mile before my hands start shaking.

i see the exit sign, too.

i remember. i remember everything.

backup will be arriving in approximately one hour.

did something go wrong?

what is this, a joke? some kind of scam?

you're the only person i know.

do you have ID?

if we stay here, we die.

i know how you're feeling.

off the record. you know how it is.

no more red tape.

i don't suppose it would do me much good to cry for help?

i send you because you don't exist.

you know i can't tell you that.

we're professionals. when an operation goes bad, we tie it off.

where are you gonna go?

you just asked for it?

this is where it started for me. this is where it ends.

everything you need is in there.

actually, i don't think they give a shit.

get some rest. you look tired.

these people will kill you if they have to.

good thinking.

so now you're going to kill me?

do you copy?

all right, we have to move.

you would probably just forget about me if i stayed here.

you can come up.

why don't you come in with me?

do you even know why you're supposed to kill me?

now why would i know that?

i'm sorry to hear that.

why didn't you take the shot?

it was a kill squad.

you know how real the danger is.

we can do that any time we want.

i come in here, and the first thing i'm doing is i'm catching the sightlines and looking for an exit.

how did that happen?

do something about it.

i send you to be invisible.

you're in a big puddle of shit, and you don't have the shoes for it.

i'm not worried.

who am i?

you couldn't make this stuff up.

you're a total goddamned catastrophe.

i can go check it out.

i'm not sorry.

i mean, you were shot.

i don't send you to kill.

how could i forget about you?

this isn't what i signed up for.

you talk about this stuff like you read it in a book.

i'm on my own side now.

i have the files.

it's not a mistake.

i'm just trying to do the right thing.

what are you after?

why did you pick me?

they knew you were there.

what the hell are you talking about?

we don't have a choice.

it gets easier.

it'll be better if we do this together.

they'll kill you for giving me this.

by god, if it kills me, you're going to tell me how this happened.

look at this. look at what they make you give.

people do all kinds of weird and amazing stuff when they're scared.

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #199

Have you ever bought a YouTuber’s merch? I have two Cloak shirts, which is owned by Markiplier and jacksepticeye. I would love to have more products by YouTubers with how much of my time goes into watching their shit lmao

Do you think oatmeal tastes better when made with water or milk? MILK. It's not even a competition.

Have you ever left a note in a library book? No.

What time of day do you prefer to wash your hair? Daytime, because I have more strength in my legs early in the day.

Has anyone ever spread lies about you? Yeah, I'd say by the time you're an adult, most people have dealt with this to some severity.

Have you ever taken a photograph with a celebrity? If so, did it turn out the way you wanted, or do you wish you could retake it? No. I'm kinda scared to do this even if I had the opportunity, because first of all I'd feel annoying, but also, I'm sure I'd hate how I looked in it lol.

If you could move out of your home country permanently, would you? If so, where would you go? Not by this phase in my life. I know and cherish too many people here to leave. I hate the U.S., but I love these people more than I hate this county.

Do you think that after we die our spirit is still alive? I think so, at least in some way, but I won't bet my life on that. Honestly I'm fine with the concept of after death, there's nothing. No awareness. I really think it adds more beauty to life while we have it.

Have you ever felt like you were someone’s rebound? No.

Did you have a lot of role models as a kid? I wouldn't say A LOT. It was mostly people like Steve Irwin or Jeff Corwin, Jane Goodall too.

Do you feel like anyone looks up to you? Why or why not? Big no, because what's there to look up to? What've I got goin' on over here? I don't mean that in a pity-hungry sort of way, I just factually am not doing inspirational things, other than fighting mental illness I suppose.

Who is the nicest person you know? My mom.

Do you feel safe in your country? Not really, no, because I'm just waiting for a bomb to drop on the capitol, and certainly NC would be in the blast radius. I'm pretty convinced that's how I'm gonna die, tomorrow or 40 years from now.

Do you know anyone who has been struck by lightning before? Not directly, but my mom did get shocked one night during a severe storm when she was just running water into a soda can to clean it before disposing of it. She's joked that she's still waiting for her new powers to come in, lol.

Which cartoon character would you want to keep as a pet? An Eevee or Vulpix.

Do you like marshmallows? Yes.

Have you ever fostered an animal? No, I'd never be able to let it go.

Have you ever thrown up from cramps? No, thank christ.

Would you ever start a vlog? No.

What are your favorite spicy foods? Hot wings or things like spicy Cheetos or Takis.

Did you feel insecure in high school? I was WAY more confident in myself than I am now. Like yeah, I did have some insecurities, but they're NOTHING compared to now.

What was your favorite class in high school? Art.

If you’re female, would you feel uncomfortable having a male gynecologist? I would 1,000% refuse to see a cis male gynecologist. If you do not have a vagina yourself, I'm sorry, I don't trust your reasons for wanting that career.

What gives you nightmares? Just going to sleep, dude. I have some sort of nightmare condition that's baffled the doctors I've seen.

Were you ever hospitalized as a child? No.

Did you get senior pictures taken? No.

Would you rather wear ivory or white on your wedding day? What color will your bridesmaids wear? I'm probably wearing black. I want the theme to be black and gold, but I'm going to assume gold bridesmaid dresses are expensive, so we'll probably do orange, idk.

Do you think babies are cute? Some are, but very rarely are newborn/very young babies even remotely cute. It happens, but. If I think your baby is cute, you did good lmao

Have you ever moved to another state? No.

Can you say the alphabet backwards? No.

If you were to make videos on YouTube, what would they be of? I have no idea, I've thought of this.

Posting pictures of yourself in a bathing suit on the internet - ok or not? Of course it's okay, I personally just wouldn't do it because I'm too self-conscious.

If you’re in a bad mood, would you rather be with friends or alone? Alone.

What’s the last thing you took a picture of? My cat being cute.

Are you good at remembering birthdays? god hell no, I wish.

Do you listen to podcasts? I don't, except sometimes when I'm in the car with Girt, he'll occasionally have one on instead of music.

Would you rather watch a movie in a theater or at home? The theater, for sure. I enjoy that experience.

Who’s the messiest person you know? My sister's kids, lol. I know the vast majority of young children tend to be messy, but those three are next fuckin level, my mom can't stand it because she raised us girls completely the opposite.

Are you close with any of your exes? No.

What’s your favorite type of cheese? I'm such a basic bitch, American. Most cheeses I don't like.

Can you read sheet music? I could once upon a time, I played the flute all through middle school and almost all of high school, but I couldn't anymore.

Have you ever lived in a mobile home? No.

How many times in the past week have you eaten fast food? Once, I wanna say.

Do you prefer carbonated or uncarbonated drinks? Carbonated.

Favorite thing that you can see up in the sky? The moon, stars, aurora borealis... so muchhhhh

Friend asks you to hide drugs, booze etc for them, do you do it? Nope.

You fill your best friend’s Xmas stocking, what do you put in it? Some Sour Patch gummies, maybe a pair of socks, a Buffalo Wild Wings gift card or something, uhhhhh... I'm not sure of the rest. He is so super hard to buy for, considering if he wants something, he's able to just buy it. It's not just me, even his mom and sister struggle with presents for him.

You fill your worst enemy’s stocking, what do you put in it? Nothing, because I'm not interested in investing my time into her.

You fill your OWN stocking, what do you put in it? A Mountain Dew Voltage, my favorite Reese's bar, a book, gift cards I guess, maybe some video game.

If someone gave you a kitten, would you keep it? I'd like to, but I don't think Mom would be game for it because Tobey (landlord) would supposedly have a cow.

Favorite type of cracker: Cheez-its.

Animal you like to watch but sort of creeps you out: Centipedes.

Bagels or English muffins? Bagels.

Who is a family member you look forward to seeing on a holiday? My dad.

Do you do anything to recognize St Patrick’s Day? No.

Who mows the lawn at your house? Well because it's winter we haven't needed to, but during the warm months, Mom used to pay Nicole's ex to do it, but she hasn't been pleased with his supposedly very uneven and rushed work, so she gave the daughter of a dance mom a try last, and she was super impressed. I'm definitely assuming she'll pay her again this year.

Where do you keep your phone at night? Normally, it sits under the pillow that Girt uses when he's here, but if he spends the night, then I just sit it on my bedside table.

Best Happy Meal toy you ever got: Oh I have no idea.

Do you like the color yellow at all? It's one of my least favorite colors, actually. I do like a very light, pastel yellow, though.

Who sings the last song you listened to? Till Lindemann.

Have you ever watched South Park? Who’s your favorite character? I have, with other people. I was never really into it.

What member of your family are you most similar to? In which ways? My half-sister Katie. We struggle very similarly mentally and are alike personality-wise.

If you could have any animal as a pet, what would you have? At this current time, a tarantula. Preferably a Brazilian Black.

Do you ever shop at Aldi? Do you even have one nearby? We have one very close actually, and Mom will go there every now and again, primarily with Nicole if she wants to go there.

Do you enjoy rhododendrons? Look man, I enjoy basically any flower you could name. I just love them.

Have you ever met someone who supports Nazism? Yes, Sara. She liked to be "technical" about it in calling her branch Neo-Nazism, but she was still a fucking Nazi, I had her explain her way of thinking plenty because I was trying to understand that she wasn't politically evil but never did. She didn't believe Jews deserved to die, but Hitler and his doctrine were her political idols. Which is evil, if you somehow forgot.

If you’ve ever been to another country, what was the best thing you did there? I haven't. :(

What’s the worst sickness you’ve ever had? Some fucking insane stomach virus I had as a teen, I'd say. I will never forget hurling my guts up past the point where only bile was coming out. The abdominal cramps were mental.

Is your favorite animal something you can have as a pet? In certain countries, but thankfully not here in North America. I aggressively wish that it was illegal everywhere, like there is no case of you giving a meerkat everything it needs to be well, all the while saving your house and personal relations with how territorial they are.

Are you good at gardening? To be fair I've never really tried. I did help Colleen's in-laws with their personal garden quite a bit one summer, and I can tell you I FUCKING hated it, because of how out of shape I was but even moreso because of my hyperhidrosis, but I've never tried it on my own. I'd actually quite like to get into plants, and I'd LOVE to grow specifically berries when I have my own place, but I have strong doubts I'd care enough to maintain everything. Depression already makes that challenging with other things.

What was the last classic novel you read? Did you enjoy it? The Yearling, I loved it.

Do you own any pet fish? What kind of fish are they? No, pet fish aren't my thing.

When was the last time you took your pet to the vet? What was wrong with it? Quite a few months ago when Roman apparently had an ear infection.

Have you ever known someone who was in an abusive relationship? I know multiple people who have, and one who still is.

[beardedmrbean]

Tim Ratcliff is being hailed as a good Samaritan after he jumped into action and stopped an assailant who punched an elderly man and ran off with his wallet in broad daylight. 

Ratcliff said he ran after the suspect without thinking and tackled him, detaining him until police arrived.

Ratcliff, owner of a restaurant called Shin in Los Angeles, said on "Fox & Friends First" Wednesday that the suspect spent time in the area in recent months and frequently came into his restaurant asking for food and water.

LOS ANGELES CRIME SPIKE: WILL ‘PROGRESSIVE’ PROSECUTING CAUSE AN INCREASE IN CRIME FOR OTHER U.S. CITIES?

"I couldn't believe what I was seeing," he told host Carley Shimkus. "It was honestly a shock to see anything like this happening because there's never been any kind of violence before."

He said the man who was attacked is "doing okay" despite having suffered cracked ribs from hitting a curb when he fell. All of his belongings, including his wallet, were returned.

Ratcliff said the suspect apologized and was pleading to be let go while Ratcliff was holding him down. 

"I told him, you crossed the line this time, and you've got to wait for the police and deal with this the right way," he said.

Ratcliff said it was shocking to see this type of brazen crime, but he was never scared. He said he believes the suspect was having a bad day and was desperate.

"But it seems like there's been a lot of people in the area that are just here to do no good," he said, noting that Los Angeles has seen many similar instances as crime is on the rise.

Ratcliff spent all day Tuesday in court, expecting to testify against the suspect. But at the end of the day, officials said they had "lost" him.

"I don’t know what that means," Ratcliff said, assuming it meant the suspect would soon be back on the streets.

"As soon as it was said, one of the guys there said, ‘Well, you should probably go back to your restaurant and make sure he's not hanging around there.’"

Ratcliff said he is now waiting for a call to go back to court to testify. 

He said something needs to change in the area and explained that district council members recently approved an additional 200 police officers for the area. 

"But we still haven't seen any boots on the ground," he said. "So I'm really hoping that sometime really soon that's starting to happen."

[holocene-sims]

next // previous

june 11, 2021 2:00 p.m. newcrest counseling center

[grant] i am, uh, okay. i guess. päivi left yesterday. like moved out. so she’s gone. i don’t want to talk about all that today, not really, because we kind of reconciled. she explained everything to me and i guess i have what i need to move on. what i will say is that she did tell me it wasn’t about me. i guess she cheated because she was homesick.

[grant] which makes a lot of sense if i think about it and i feel stupid for not assuming that. she never did really like it in the u.s. and she only came here for work. i have heard her say that i was the best thing about being here...but, like, one person will never be enough to make your life work somewhere you don’t enjoy living. so i suppose i understand her reasons. again, not that it makes her actions okay.

[grant] i thought it would be easier to see her go, though, and it’s not. because now i can really mourn the relationship itself. that and i have too much time now to reevaluate my life again.

[margot] of course it’s not easy, even if you did want to see her go and did decide that ending things was the most proper way for you to proceed. you were with her for about, hm, i believe you said three years, right? a connection like that doesn’t sever without loose ends and you will always need time to heal after a relationship but especially after one that long and that serious.

[margot] but when you say reevaluate...i’m assuming you don’t mean in a good way.

[grant] it’s me, so naturally it's not. i mean, okay, it’s not all bad because thinking about life can and does lead to changes for the better, but i feel like i'm back in the self-hatred stage of thinking.

[margot] what’s been on your mind?

[grant] mostly why am i almost thirty and still a disaster?

[margot] i would not say you’re a disaster at all.

[grant] everyone always tells me life unfolds at different paces and takes unique paths and that it’s okay if mine is different, but i'm sick and tired of that happening. and i don’t know why my life is like this. i just want a peaceful, happy life...but i'm probably cursed. no, i'm definitely cursed. i don’t believe in god but i'm almost tempted to believe in one just so i can accept the explanation of ‘outside figure controlling and ruining my life for their own entertainment.’

[margot] well, let’s start small. what’s one thing you’re frustrated about?

[grant] where to begin…i don’t even know.

[grant] i guess the most basic thing is that i'm still mad at myself for even briefly relapsing after i found out about päivi cheating on me and i'm scared i'll do it again. i just...ugh, i feel like i'm too old to still be the same mentally ill masochist i was in college just, like, getting fucked up on some kind of substance to either hopefully kill myself or get too zoned out to be able to think about things. it’s especially upsetting because i know i can do better. i was completely sober for almost eight years minus a bit of social drinking and nicotine, if you count that, and i got sober because i learned how to care about myself and i had something–a job–that i was focused on getting and then keeping and succeeded in.

[grant] so i don’t even know why i did it. i'm no stranger to these things and i'm not unfamiliar with wanting to hurt myself but it’s been so long.

[margot] you already understand this but addiction is complicated and so is recovery. you could be sober for sixty years and still have one day where you slip.

[grant] sure, but i didn’t even want to. not really. i mean, i had spinal surgery a year ago and i did it without even over the counter tylenol because i didn’t want to fuck up and start abusing pain medication again. and i still don’t take anything like that! i won’t even go down that aisle in a grocery store or pharmacy so i don’t have to look at them.

[grant] i don’t know why i would do that to myself over her. i don’t know why i would throw away all the work i've done to clean myself up. okay, i know i did it because i felt all those old sad thoughts again about killing myself or being a useless waste of a human being but like...it was all an overreaction. i could have handled it better. no, i should have. i didn’t have to go back to that place.

[margot] i think often people don’t want to relapse. maybe some do but i would argue most don’t. they just encounter a situation or environment where they’re pushed to go back to those habits. and nobody wants to feel down about themselves because it’s a terrible way to feel. can i present my theory to you, though? at least for this one instance you’re asking about.

[grant] definitely.

[hi-chae]

The Sorority Logs - #1 The Beginning

hello! we're the sorority! you may know me from @the-sorority-system and our syscourse posts but here is our more casual blog.

the details of this log will be our diagnosis journey, our thoughts on how therapy is going, and more. we need a healthy way to put these thoughts out. whether or not we're a disordered system will be determined in the future and will be in the contents of this log but we find this log to be important anyways. If I am disordered, cool, this will be a great way to detail our journey. If I'm not, this will help questioning systems figure certain things out.

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS ALL FROM MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE FROM THE STATE I AM IN WITHIN THE U.S. DO NOT see this log as a checklist of everything you need to do to get referrals / diagnosed. This is all within my personal experience and yours will be different. There is also a general content warning for doubting your system. is disclaimer will be put on the beginning of all of my posts.

The journey will be long... let's start

it all starts in... god i don't even know where the proper start is. was it in summer of 2022, where i had a mental breakdown so bad that lutz came in and took care of me? was it in summer of 2021, where i discovered the endogenic community and finally felt heard? only for that to be ripped from me in that same winter? or was it sometime in middle school, where i was "faking" DID because i thought it was cool but my members were never anime characters and i felt something physically change when i was them?

the answer is: i dont know. maybe it started in childhood when i made up a best friend named rachel or maybe it was far from that. i dont know. and im scared to know but also im excited to find out.

i live in an area where information about DID isnt exactly up to date. according to more experiences systems, not a lot of therapists know how to recognize it. and not a lot of therapists in general specialize in DID.

but im getting tested anyways. and im incredibly lucky to do so. because i got a referral to get a psych eval and im getting follow up tests in March. that should be exciting right? it is but... i dont want to be told my problems arent serious and they arent what i think they are and that the way i view myself is wrong. i feel like a lot of our identity focuses on how our brain works and its... terrible. i wish i could accept everything i was told i am but theres something deep inside of me who knows what i or we are.

no more thoughts. lets get some dates down.

end of November

i get my psych eval done. i dissociate the whole time while he asks me and my mom questions about my mental health. i think he notices this because he wants testing done on my dissociation. i feel relieved but also terrified. mostly because of my insurance.

DEC 13TH, 2022

in therapy, a protected little comes out with our permission. she cries and cries and babbles baby talk. our therapist can see our hurt and wants her to know she's doing a good job. but something feels... off. he refers to them as our core and talks about how she's actually a big kid who isn't who she actually is. she knows this isn't true. she cries anyways. she trusts him. thats a relief. but something still feels wrong. she continues therapy groups, still sensitive, still small, until we leave for the night, where one of us forces her to go back (she did a really good job). we process whats happened. it feels wrong, feels gross. we cant put a finger on it other than that we feel invalidated somehow. to some people we went to about how we werent who we thought we were. they comfort and reassure us. our biggest worry was that he didnt believe us but if he didnt believe us, he wouldnt have brought out that little. his information is just a little outdated, go figure. they suggest we go to him the next day to ask him to do more modern techniques

DEC 14tth, 2022

we ask him to go for more modern techniques and he said we would talk about it in our next session. we straight up ask him if he thinks we have a dissociation disorder and he says he doesnt think i do. he thinks i have very separated "protective parts of myself". it sends me into a panic. i ask a few people if they know if most therapists know how to recognize DID, because something felt off again. not a lot do, the more experienced system says. they press more and analyze that it seems like he knows he's out of his area of expertise and that his info is just really outdated due to the fact that DID used to be seen as MPD and there was a time where MPD was seen as "needing the inner child to be healed" (it also wasnt considered a dissociative disorder). that somewhat reassures me. what reassures me the most is hearing how if hes accepting of the idea to talk about it next session, he's willing and encouraging of it. if he avoids the topic, he's likely doubtful. more than anything, i want my experiences to be believed. im glad he believes me. and im glad i can believe that he believes me.

that leaves me with today, awaiting the next session. if im honest, im scared but hopeful. logically, i know i wont be invalidated in my feelings. his heart is in the right place and he wants to help and understand and believe in me. im nervous and he can sense that but i know whatever im going through, he's willing to put in the effort to see who the sorority system is.

[golbrocklovely]

You just answered my ask where i said influencers have and should use their ability to influence because its in their title and although this blog is dedicated to snc my ask was mostly pointed at the girls because although I absolutely feel the boys should speak up, men; unless they know someone personally or research, they don’t know exactly what we go through. Women or those born with a uterus , while not all of us have dealt with abortion, we all know how poorly women health and our rights are treated in the U.S. We know about pregnancy scares, we know about contraceptives, and how we are already overlooked in society. Its not something we need to look up to teach another generation about, we all know! So with these platforms comes the privilege of spreading the word to those that may not have the resources to find stuff out or know someone who knows someone who doesnt know but also When enough uproar happens and doesnt stop, shit gets done. That is how the original decision came about in the 70s, social media wasnt around but protesting was as was Ms. Magazine who published the photos of Gerri Santoro. They didnt stop and didnt shut up about it.

They wont share, we have to tell them to share, let them know how massive the outcome would be. But to share the actual headline like Kat did hours and hours later and then go mute what does that do? Or Stas sharing Michelle Ovas statement a day later. Why not hold them accountable the same way people hold the boys accountable? We cant just say “well i didnt expect it from them so eh what new phone did you get kat”. Thats the frustrating part. Its not just about getting political, our rights are getting taken back, soon enough we wont be able to vote or work again. No one is telling them to go march or to donate just use tout platform, get it trending and dont stop.

i mean, i would hope at the very least the girls that snc are friends with are informed on what's happen in the country with roe being overturned and whatnot. that being said, again, i don't think they have to tell their audience.

like i said in a previous ask, the privilege that snc have, in some regard, also applies to kat or stas or really any of their other girl friends. most, if not all of them, are white girls with well off families that aren't lgbtq+ or pocs, and bc of that, their privilege is thru the roof. and i think realistically, they probably don't think this law being overturned will ever affect them the same way it's going to the rest of us. they probably live in a blissfully ignorant world where they don't see themselves ever having to have an abortion, or need care like that, so they'll be fine (in their minds). plus, they also live in a state that's very pro-choice, so they probably think they're safe.

i'm not saying it's right, but that might be the reason why they aren't saying as much. there could be a 1000 other reasons as to why they aren't using their platforms.

i personally just don't think we should rely on influencers or social media ppl to get things done. they have the power to do something, sure, but to look at them and hope they will is pointless. it's also not worth the mental strife, at least to me.

if you want to focus on them not doing more, that's totally fine. you're allowed to do that. again, i just don't think it's worth it. it's better to focus on what you can do, versus what others should or could be doing.

[rozeesart]

On Freedom

The United States was a totally different place when I was growing up. I saw more and more people gaining rights as I was growing up - things like gay marriage, trans rights, and other protections and inclusion each year. Can you believe what's happening now? Why are we seeing people trying to undo all of these things? I really miss the U.S. when there was still hope. Nowadays, every election fills me with dread. Look, I know the U.S. has a bunch of problems, but it used to feel like we were moving in the right direction. Now, it seems like we're losing freedoms left and right. The overturning of Roe v. Wade was just the beginning. And the plea of "protect the children" is ridiculous. Seriously, spare me. You don't actually care about kids once they're born - that's not your problem anymore. It's absolutely mind-boggling to me how simply existing outside of the norm is somehow seen as "indoctrinating kids." Yet, you have no problem sending your own kids to church every Sunday to be indoctrinated into your specific brand of religion that can't even agree with itself. I just want my freedom back. I'm so tired of feeling scared because a bunch of overly conservative folks can't handle the fact that there are people out there who are different from them.

I don’t really know where I am going with this, I just wanted to get it off my chest. In summary I am just sad at the current state of our nation.

[spookyspaghettisundae]

Dear Agent Parker,

It has been a while since yorur last visit. I hope you're doing alright, and things are fine up in West Virginia or wherever you are when you get this letter.

Something very strange happened today and I went to right write this down right away so I don't forget any details. Just like you told me to.

A man showed up today. He was wearing a black leather jacket, black jeans, black driving gloves, and black boots. Balding, really short blond hair, and a mean scowl. Not sure what the color of his eyes was. He looked like a gangster out of some Pacino DeNiro movie and talked with a New Jersey accent.

He asked a lot of questions about Freddy Fletcher's arrest. He pulled I didn't tell him nothing even though he pulled a switchblade on me and threatened me. Didn't do anything, but I was scared as all senseless because he sure seemed like he meant business. He also asked about the raid over in Muldraugh, but I didn't know what happened there, so I told him nothing about that, either.

He knew about the book.

And he knew about us and the others. I told him the truth: I don't know where they are, or what happened to the book. But only you and me know about them, and I was too afraid to ask this guy about how he knew about them.

I'm afraid he might be going after you next. You have to be careful, Agent Parker. I know you got all the training and a gun and can handle yourself. I'm just afraid because this guy reminded me of Fletcher. Something bad is for sure afoot.

Finally, he said something in a language I didn't understand and then left. Also, he threatened to set Lucille on fire if I talked to anybody, so I decided to write instead. Got paranoid about using the phone, but I couldn't find the card you left me either way, and I was too afraid to call the FBI.

Sorry.

Take care and godspeed.

—Steve Walker

  * * *

  U.S. Department of Justice

Federal Bureau of Investigation

Clarksburg, WV 26306

Phone: +1 304-625-2000

  September 20, 1996

  PERSONAL AND CONFIDENTIAL

  To: Steven Walker

PO BOX 43521

40253-0441 Louisville, KY

  Dear Steve Walker,

Headquarters forwarded your message to me in a timely fashion. I am of sound mind and health and currently operating out of San Francisco. Thank you for your concern.

There is nothing to apologize for. I appreciate the risk you took in informing me. As of the time of my writing and to the best of my knowledge, nobody within the bureau has yet sighted this man in black you described. However, I have anonymously forwarded your report about this threat to my colleagues, and VICAP agents should be keeping an eye out. By the time this letter reaches you, some of them may already be arriving in your area. I deliberately filed a request to not involve any local authorities, neither of Jefferson County, nor the state of Kentucky.

Given the suspect knew about Fletcher's arrest and other sensitive details, I suspect a leak within local law enforcement. Have you talked to anybody in the sheriff's department? If not, please refrain from doing so. I would normally suggest you enter the witness protection program next, yet it is unclear to me how the suspect found you in the first place. I withheld that information from all authorities, you are not even named in any reports.

Getting chocolate donuts from the Yogurt Shoppe with you over coffee will have to wait until we resolve this situation. I am sorry about that.

Until we meet again, friend. Take care. God bless America.

  Sincerely yours,

Quinn Isabelle Parker

Special Agent of the Criminal Investigation Division

  P.S.: You'll find a general bureau address and phone number on the letterhead should you require more immediate assistance. My personal pager number is 2025550141.

  * * *

  Director Collins cleared his throat and placed the paper on his desk, adding it to the pile of intercepted correspondences and a written report in brief.

He removed his glasses and rubbed his face.

Special Agent Derek Wells, sitting opposite of him on the other side of the desk, raised his eyebrows.

A gap of silence and awkward air followed Collins concluding his reading aloud of the two letters.

Blinking, Collins emitted a sigh so long and forceful that it threatened to float the loose sheets of paper on his desk. By the time his elongated gasp ended, he met Wells' gaze. Another, shorter sigh escaped him before the director addressed his agent, breaking the quietude of the closed office.

"Once Agent Parker checks back in here, I want you to brief her A.S.A.P., tackle the Chicago account together."

Skeptically crowning his face, the eyebrows of Agent Wells furrowed ever higher until they mirrored the shape of a famous mountain.

"Sir, if I may speak freely."

"Please."

Wells inhaled sharply.

"I'd rather you pair me with Agent Fuentes for the Chicago incident. Most of whatever comes out of Parker's investigations is—pardon the French—crazy talk. I frankly don't think she should be involved in what happened up north."

Director Collins thumbed his nose.

"And why is that?"

"Aside from her prior involvements? She'll start talking about something as outlandish as little gray men, or werewolves, or something else along those lines."

Collins pursed his lips, chewing quietly on Wells' words before countering.

"Agent Parker quickly became our go-to for anything related to the occult and the unexplained. This gas station clerk," Collins paused to glance at the first letter. "Steven Walker—one of her informants—he even refers to the Kentucky case in which she single-handedly shut down a whole cult of deranged serial killers conducting strange rituals. Humor me, Wells. She may be a bit…"

"Eccentric?"

"Sure. Suffice to say, she has an impeccable track record in working with VICAP and CID. I don't want a repeat of what already happened in Chicago, and she's been handling the Frisco situation well."

Wells tilted his head.

"Even with what psych eval said about her?"

Collins narrowed his eyes.

"What do you know about her psych eval?"

Wells shrugged. Muttered, "Just hearsay."

"Don't pay too much attention to hearsay. You're better than that, agent." Collins tapped the papers with two meaty fingers, then said, "And I have a sneaking suspicion that you're trying to talk me out of saddling you with her in Chicago. What's really going on here?"

Wells' shoulders heaved with a stifled, silent sigh. He clicked his tongue before finding the words.

"God's honest truth, I do not even know where to begin, sir. Beyond certain suspicions of mine, I just don't think I'm the kind of guy to see eye to eye with Parker on, uh—well, on anything. And I'm just—"

Collins waited patiently while Wells shook his head, still struggling to find the right words.

"You've got a sharp head on your shoulders, guts, and you're not mired in the occult. A skeptic and a skilled investigator. I believe I understand your alarm, but I also believe this is a task suited to the two of you combined. You might find that Agent Parker is far more of a straight shooter than any paperwork—or hearsay—may suggest. And by my reckoning, you would make a good balance to Parker's somewhat odd tendencies."

"Eccentricities?"

"Sure. Now—do I have to get someone else for the task, or can I rely on you to close on this one?"

Wells waved a hand.

"Look, I'm just—this one's giving me a hard time. Gotta follow up on two dead agents and a whole lot of dead ends, and the whole occult angle is giving me the willies. Speaking of which—what can you tell me about this Kentucky case? I'd like to hear an outside perspective, rather than whatever Parker filed in her report."

Collins thumbed his nose again. The leather of his chair creaked as he leaned back in it.

"You're convinced it's connected to the Chicago incident, aren't you? Any foundation for that, or is it an assumption?"

Wells shrugged again, staring at Collins without blinking. He patted his jacket down and produced a pack of cigarettes from his inner pocket. Presenting it to Collins, the director nodded in approval, and shoved an ashtray across the desk towards Wells.

The field agent took his time to light a cigarette, take a long drag, puffed out a cloud of smoke, and pondered his next words.

With a soft rasp, the sentences cascaded out in a continuous flow.

"Two dead agents, a bunch of corpses in a house that looked like a cattle killing floor, where some lunatic tried to combine a grandfather clock's parts with a human body—and a mysterious man in black, showing up in Chicago and Kentucky within the space of a few days, poking around where Parker and this Steven Walker shut down the killer cult. You tell me."

"There's a lot of men dressed in black, involved in criminal investigations across the country. How on Earth did that move you to break protocol, invade Agent Parker's privacy, and bring these letters to me? Gut instinct?"

Wells blew out more smoke and shook his head.

"A little bit more than that." He licked his lips. Set his jaw. Waved his cigarette at the papers on the desk. "This Walker character described the man in black the exact same way, minus the scar on the back of the suspect's neck. But maybe because he didn't see it."

"Like I said—plenty of men dressed in black."

"Not an awful lot of them are threatening people over some book, though."

"Ah. You must have failed to mention that detail in your report."

"I left it out because all the eyewitnesses in Chicago have gone missing and I'm concerned about a leak within the bureau. Parker's query with VICAP into the man in black kicked some buzz loose in the bureau, and it reached me. Just as easily as I got my hands on copies of these letters, we don't know who might be mucking around in our offices here. That's why I came to you with this, sir."

Thinly framed spectacles clicked as Collins donned them again. Looking down to scan the papers on his desk, he failed to conceal his growing frown.

"You aren't suggesting that Parker might have something to do with it?"

"I don't know. There's only so much I can get out of the case files from the Louisville raid of '93."

Collins harrumphed.

"Enough red tape to make me want to puke. Let me tell you, Agent Wells—and this stays in this room, between us—we had the fucking Secret Service breathing down our necks because a spouse of a United States senator was involved in that fucking cult in Kentucky. That's why the Louisville brief is buried under so much bullshit that it's incomprehensible without getting Parker's personal perspective on it."

Blowing out more smoke, Wells asked, "And let me guess—her perspective is Looney Toons?"

Collins glared at Wells.

"Mind your words. Parker's a fine agent, and it's not like she invented this occult nonsense. No, to the contrary—her side of the story makes a decent amount of sense, but she always withheld certain details that probably even she finds too odd to share. Or to protect informants like Walker."

Wells stamped out the cigarette in the ashtray. He drew circles in the stray ashes before leaning back in his chair.

"Okay, I'm sold. Scratch my request for Fuentes. How long till Parker's back from the west coast?"

"She should be back by tomorrow. I suspect you'll have plenty of time to talk on the way over to Chicago."

Wells nodded.

"Alright. Thank you for your time, sir."

Collins nodded.

Wells pressed his lips together, stuck in a state somewhere between a semblance of a frown and a feeble smile. He slapped the armrests of his chair and got up in a sudden burst of motion, straightened out his jacket, and paused by the office door. His hand rested on the doorknob.

Almost as if he dithered on something he wanted to say. Then he opened the door and stepped outside.

Once the door clicked shut, Director Collins picked up his phone on the desk.

Punched numbers into the keypad.

Waited as the dial tone beeped away. Scrunched his nose at the stink of stale cigarette smoke and the sight of ashes in the tray.

A soft click killed the beeping.

No words arrived from the other end of the line.

After several seconds of waiting, Collins spoke into the receiver, "They know."

At the other end of the line, a man in black with blond hair and a scar on the back of his neck sat on a metal folding chair in a filthy little room, dim with only scarce light pouring in through thin blinds.

The man in black let his gaze wander across the grimy walls until coming to rest between a switchblade, a pistol, a rabbit's foot attached to an old iron key, and a weathered brass compass on the table. The objects framed a sheet of paper: a photocopy of a driver's license of a redheaded woman—of a certain Quinn Isabelle Parker.

The man in black said nothing.

"Agent Parker will be arriving in West Virginia by car. Tomorrow. After rendezvous with Agent Derek Wells, they will be en route to Chicago."

Still, the man in black said nothing.

Neither did Collins anymore.

They both hung up.

[sarahisatotalgeek]

the world is really scary right now

tw: current events, fascism

I need to say that, I need it to hang in the air for a moment untouched. I need it to be here, in the present, a set of words that offer no comfort but release.

fascism and far-right authoritarianism is sweeping the globe in concerning speeds and levels. historians and people smarter than me would know how we're comparing to the 1940's. I don't really want to know the answer.

the United States' rapid descent towards fascism (I suspect the 2024 election is when the worst of it will start) is chronicled with strict anti-abortion laws, rampant transphobia and queerphobia, unchecked corporate and governmental corruption, an increasingly militarized and unsupervised police force, and the far-right Christians who want to force everyone to fall in line with them.

Being a U.S. citizen, as a lesbian, as a queer person, as an AFAB person... this will affect my life. I'm scared. I only make plans for the future when I forget that I've already figured out what's gonna happen. I so desperately want to be proven wrong.

How many times did Cassandra cry to the Fates, begging them to make her lie?

The U.S. is not alone.

England.

Italy.

Iran.

Russia.

and so many others.

I hate how the world feels right now. it feels like standing on a windowsill, knowing that just one moment of imbalance will send us hurtling toward our doom.

I can guess what will happen. I can read books about politics and history and fascism and I can convince myself that I'm smart and I can scream to get ready to anybody that will listen but at the end of the day, we won't know until it's here.

fascism will arrive to the U.S. shaped like a cross and wrapped in the flag.

I know that some of my family will wield those things.

I'm not ready to not be safe.

I need to say that the world is really scary right now. I'm lucky. I'm one of the lucky ones. I have the privilege of feeling my fear outside of the conflict, and then to go to bed and to school in the morning. I am lucky that I am able to (mostly) be who I am in public without causing myself danger.

but that doesn't mean that I will stay lucky, and I am not ready for that day.

I need this to just sit in the air. I don't want solutions, not tonight. I know many anyway. antifascist action will always be there, I know that.

I just need to feel my fear, to let it linger a little while. you can let your fear linger here too, if you'd like. leave it here, leave it behind. leave it with me.

[lokisprettygirl]

Love is Selfless, It's Kind (Loki x Female Reader) (Part 27)

Summary : You find out bucky's truth and the trial of Loki Odinson vs Carla Davidson commences finally

Warning : 18 + , Smut, Open Talk of physical and psychological abuse, violence, God loki makes an appearance, I don't know anything about U.S laws so bear with me

Taglist : @colifower @rinacreateart    @christineblood  @the-wounded-healer05  @lokiprompts  @geeky-politics-46  @sharklover927  @virtualstrawberrydinosaur

As soon as you heard Carla's name coming out of his mouth, you connected the dots, not really a rocket science, he sent her the invite, he called her here to mess with loki and make him break, your sweet baby lo, what would have happened if by chance you were not here, she could have hurt him badly or could have pushed him deeper into the negativity, how could he do this to you? He was supposed to be your friend, your eyes were burning with rage and you teared up as you thought about this betrayal. You took the turn to the right side and came face to face with him.

As soon as he saw you he knew he fucked up bad, his face looked extremely pale "Y/n, I can explain" you huffed and gave a snarky laugh as you stepped towards him, he took few steps back as he saw you coming towards him "you tried to hurt him James, you tried to hurt the love of my life" your voice cracked as you spoke "I know and I regret that I swear, I'm not proud of it" he told you as he tried to defend himself "wow and that makes it okay? you broke my trust, you ruined our friendship" you screamed and he was taken aback for a second when you raised your voice, you picked up the vase that was kept right next to you in the hall and threw at him but he dodged it "y/n calm down, I only did because I loved you"

You laughed again as you heard him "love? You think you loved me? If you actually loved me you wouldn't ever hurt me like this" you yelled again and he walked towards you "I wasn't trying to hurt you, I just wanted him to run again" he spoke softly and you're even more pissed off now, he should just keep his mouth closed.

"You really thought hurting him wouldn't hurt me? You thought if he would have run again I would just forget him? No James, him running again would have killed me, you could have killed me, you do not love me mr barnes you just wanted to take me away from him weather I wanted it or not" you were so hurt, so angry, why would he do this to him ? "I know and I regret doing that trust me, I was just swept up in whatever I felt for you and the fight I had with him, I just wanted revenge so I made a mistake" he told you and you shrugged "that won't change a thing James, I would never be able to trust you ever again" you start to walk away and he snickered which made you stop "you can trust him after he hurt you like that but you can't trust me..wow" he ran his hands through his hair in frustration as he spoke and you turned out baffled at his behaviour.

"How much do you even know him ? Yes he hurt me, you want to know why? Because he was trying to protect me, he wanted me safe, he wanted me alive, he was insecure about not being able to save me that day, he was scared of me dying again, he left me and hurt us both because that's how much he loves me James Buchanan barnes, but you won't understand that" you start to walk away again but you had to say one last thing again "by the way, that day when he asked you to drop me to work, he trusted you, he thought I would be safe with you, he trusted you James and you broke that, stay away from him"

"What's going on?" You heard Loki's voice from behind you and turned around, he saw your face and he instantly knew something was wrong, he walked over to you and cupped your cheeks "what's wrong princess, what did he do?" He asked softly and you shook your head "it was him lo, he sent Carla, that day to the party, he sent her the invite" there was no point in hiding this from him and he would have found out sooner or later, he hugged you and glared at Bucky "just give me a second" he walked over to the barnes and you screamed to stop him, this is the last thing you wanted, another fight "lo no stop..oh my god" you heard the sound of punching and yelling, both of them blaming each other ,both of them hitting each other "lo stop please lo" you tried to stop him but he glared at you with such ferocity that you took a step back, you have never been on the receiving end of it "stay away princess, I don't want you to get hurt" he told you and they started to fight again, you had to stop this so you went back to the party, and told thor, others saw you communicating with him so they followed you, all of them ran towards the corridor and steve and Bruce held Bucky back, while tony and thor were trying to get loki back "stop this madness brother, do you want mother to see you like this" loki stopped struggling as he heard thor and released himself from their grip

"Okay what's going on here again? You people can't let me have a peaceful party can you?" Tony exhaled and Natasha hugged you as she saw you crying "don't worry, alpha male testesterone can be too much sometimes" she mumbled as she consoled you. She was so chill even in such situation "He invited Carla, he was trying to mess with my head" loki told tony and you literally heard everyone gasping "that can't be true, he was with me that day" Steve defended Bucky and then looked at him, when Bucky looked down steve knew loki wasn't lying "why would you do that buck..godd" steve groaned as he realised what Bucky has done "you two stay as far as you can from each other" Clint told them both and Bucky walked out of the corridor to go to his room.

Loki was hurt again and he was bleeding from his nose and he had bruises all over his face. You turned around and took the elevator to his room, leaving him there. He knew he should have stopped when you asked him to but he didn't, everyone else went back to the party and loki told thor to take care of frigga, he made his way towards you. When he went inside his room, he saw you sitting on the bed crying with your face in your palms, and he felt as if someone have punched him in the gut, he would rather take that then see you like this, he walked over to you and sat down on his knees in front of you "hey hey.. princess..look at me" he tried to take your hands into his but you didn't let him. "I'm sorry I'm sorry I know I should have stopped, I'm so sorry please" he begged you just so you'd look at him and the sadness in his voice made you do that finally "yes you should have, why didn't you? I hate seeing you like this" you pointed towards his face and he pulled you in for a hug, he needed you to stop crying "I know I'm sorry, I should have listened princess, I'm so sorry, I'll heal soon I promise" he kept saying sorry like a tape recorder as he comforted you.

"It's all my fault, he did that because of me" you said between your sobs and he pulled away to look at you "it's not your fault darling, it's totally on him, please don't blame yourself" he kissed you and you kissed him back as passionately as he did but stopped when you had a metallic taste in your mouth "the blood, let me clean that for you" you mumbled and stood up to grab the first aid kit, he sat down on the bed and waited for you to come back. You fixed him as much as you could, and you took the first aid box to keep it in the dresser when you saw the letter you wrote for him for your 1 year anniversary "I ripped this" you asked him as you pulled the letter out and he walked over to you to hug you from behind "I know, I had to read, I had to feel again" he kissed softly on your cheek and then went down to your neck, he loves seeing that necklace on you "What did you feel when you did? You asked as you moaned slightly, his lips trailing all over your collarbone, he pulled the strap of your dress down before he answered "Felt like an absolute knucklehead, knew that very moment that I had to fix this anyhow, fix us" he turned you around and sat you down on the dresser, his hand trailed under your dress as he grabbed your hips and pulled you closer to lock your legs around his waist

You moaned as you felt the closeness, "And then..and then it took you weeks to come talk to me?" You raised your eyebrow and he held the back of your neck with his hand while he used the other one to unzip your dress just a little so he can pull the other strap down, he kissed you softly as he spoke "mmmhmm I had no idea where would I even start to apologise, how would I even ask for forgiveness" he mumbled between the kisses and you wrapped your arms around him "mmm well next time if you ever leave me like.." before you could even finish he cut you off as he pushed his tongue inside your mouth, he kissed you so deeply like that untill he was satisfied and you were out of breath "no..never.. doing that again" you smiled as you heard him

"We should go back to the partyy, frigga must be looking for us" you mumbled as you felt him taking your panties off, you spread your legs a little and bit on your lips as he slid them off you "we should definitely do that princess" he smirked and you felt his fingers rubbing against your soaked lips "mmm that reminds me ..oh god ..I do want to see you all dressed up in your asgardian attire, the horns and everything" you mumbled and moaned as you felt his thumb pressing on your clit "yeah? Why didn't you just ask ? Want me to do it now?" He asked you and you nod instead of answering, he just waved his other hand and you saw a green shimmery light surrounding him, and then there he was all godly and princely, the horns accentuated his pretty face perfectly, you need to take pictures of him like this "wowww you are perfect" he smiled as he heard you, he took his cock out from the confinement of his pants, you were surprised that it had a zipper for some reason and then you gasped as you felt him gliding in so easily and so smoothly.

You supported yourself by holding onto his shoulder, the position reminded you of that night he fucked you on the dresser before he broke your heart. He was trying to erase that memory from your head and replace it with this one, he wanted you to feel cherished and loved instead of feeling hurt and used "your cunt is the tightest one I have ever had darling I swear, as if you were born to take me inside you, so warm and pleasant..I'll never get used to this..fuck y/n, baby" he mumbled as he thrusted in and out slowly, you moaned as you heard each n every word he said, he hardly ever use that term of endearment for you but whenever he does, it sounds so sweet coming from his mouth, it makes you feel so giddy.

"Mmm I love that, but then you're just very biased when it comes to me" you giggled and he kissed you, he kept his hips rolling, you felt the cool metal of his horns against your forehead and your cheeks "Maybe so, what's wrong with that?" He smiled between the kisses and you threw your head back as you felt the familiar feeling of your orgasm approaching, his cock hitting all the right places ,your ex could never make you cum just like this "absolutely nothing my love, you know..my ex never did make me cum like this, just with his cock inside me" you said to him and you felt him stiffening, he absolutely hated the thought of other men who have had you like this before. Especially your ex, who hurt you this bad, he didn't even deserve to see you like that.

"Mmhm what an absolute imbecile, had no idea what to do with a goddess like you did he? So glad I found you and kept you all for myself hmm? Afterall a god can't be compared to a mortal man " he whispered in your ear, you love it when he's feeling himself like that, maybe a little jealousy is good sometimes "Oh god yes yes yes please" you mumbled mindlessly and he relished in your reaction, you're ethereal, you're the most perfect thing in the whole nine realms for him "tell me what I am to you, tell me who do you belong to and tell me who owns this tightest fucking cunt, and this delectable body and that beautiful beautiful soul of yours, tell me princess" he mumbled as he quickened his pace, your brain was a mush to say the least, his words, how he looked, how good he felt, you were flying deep in your head "you do loki ..oh god you do ..you own all of me my god.. I live to serve you pleaseee make me cum I am begging you please" you whined and he smiled at your answer "That's right, my pretty subject, cum now y/n, cum with me my sweetest love, let go, let me feel you clench around me, take my cum, take it" he whispered in your ear, his voice all breathy and he knew as you soon as he would feel your walls tightening around him he would explode too and he did indeed, he kept moving slightly as long as you both rode on your highs together, you put your head down on his shoulder as you tried to catch your breath. He took his horns off and placed it on the dresser right next to you.

Once you calmed down, you lifted it up to admire it "oh wow it's heavyyyy, how do you handle it on your head" you chuckled and that made him smile "lo, you know it's giving me all sorts of filthy thoughts, maybe I should ride you when you're wearing just this" you looked at him mischievously and he let out a little laugh "you're insatiable" he kissed your forehead and kept the horns on the dresser again, he picked you up and walked over to the bed with him still inside you somehow, he laid you gently and kissed you lovingly, pouring in all his love and affection in you "Did I make good of your fantasy?" He asked you as he kissed your forhead and you smiled as you answered "it was perfect, my god"

"Ahh Don't you start again or we won't make it back to the party tonight" he kissed you one last time before he pulled out and you felt his cum seeping out of you but he pushed it back in with his fingers, the action made you moan again "no no no go back in, she needs it" he mumbled and he was right if you both stayed here like this you won't make it back to the party. But you had to frigga must be looking for him. Good thing, his face was all back to normal pretty quickly or she would get concerned.

The night went pretty uneventful after that, but in the morning you finally started to feel jittery as the trial is tomorrow, what would happen? What tricks she must have up her sleeves? Could she get away with this? You hoped not. He was so stressed and worried about it, he slept with his head between your chest, holding you tightly, wanting to feel safe and keeping you safe at the same time, you caressed his head until he fell asleep.

"It's going to be okay lo, no matter what happens we tried and you're doing your best Okay?" You said to him as you worked on his tie, you both had to leave for court in like 5 minutes, thor was going to drive frigga there, loki didn't want much audience, he just wanted people who he would be comfortable having around during this, you were worried, there would be press and you worried what kind of questions he will be asked by her team in the court "I know princess, you don't worry much okay? I'm perfect as long as I have you by my side" he kissed your forehead and you smiled, you wore a black formal dress matching the colour of his suit. When you both reached the court, it was a complete chaos, media and paps were going crazy over it, he held your hand as he walked you away from them , there were guards and cops on the main entry so they couldn't trespass. Frigga and thor were already outside waiting for you both, soon after you both reached you heard shouting and yelling from the paps, it was Carla , that bitch dressed as if she was here to party, she was enjoying all the attention.

She and her team stood just on the other side of us, the case was scheduled begin in 5 minutes. She walked over to loki and he glared at her, so did you, so did frigga, you just knew media was probably eating this up, zooming in on them, before she could reach him frigga stood in front of loki, she was waiting to see this woman for a long time now. Carla took off her glasses as she reached closer "who are you now? Another woman loki is using to hide behind of?" She laughed "Mind your tongue foolish mortal, that's our mother you're talking to" thor interrupted and frigga smiled at him and then looked at her "Carla? Is it? Just know that you have truly hurt my son and you played with his emotions, you hurt my daughter too, Today if the midgardian laws would somehow fail to obtain justice for my children and others you have hurt so deeply, you'd still have to answer me, the queen of asgard and I'm not as forgiving as my prince is" she said all that while keeping a smile on her face, you love her so damn much. You saw Carla tearing up and then she put the glasses back on again, she looked really scared for some reason frigga must have played with her head a bit.

When all of you went inside, you sat down on your seats while loki went to sit in the front with his lawyer, Carla was on the adjacent side, it's finally here, the moment you both have been waiting months for, it feels surreal in a way, you see the judge enter and it's a woman, you didn't want to be misogynistic but you felt a little odd that she was a woman, and there was only one man in the jury team as well, you saw the judge giving a smile to Carla and it was just a bad sign, maybe they just knew each other since she's a lawyer but still a bad sign, you just wanted them to be fair.

"The court calls the case of Loki Odinson vs Carla Davidson on the charges of Physical, Psychological and emotional abuse, is the plaintiff and prosecuting lawyer here?" The judge asked and his lawyer Matthew stood up as well as loki "yes your honour" they both said at the same time and sat down "the defendant and her lawyer, are you present?" She asked the same question and carla responded. This is not your first time in the court, you have been here several times before when you dad got jailed and your mom abandoned you.

"Let the hearing commense"

His lawyer first submitted the evidences he had against Carla, unfortunately loki didn't have anything on him personally, but the statement and evidence that were provided by Eddie and her ex girlfriend made a difference. Then loki was called by the defense lawyer for questioning, this is the part you were scared about the most "so mister loki laufeyson" loki interrupted him quickly as heard the name "Odinson"

"Oh yes yes my apologises" he smiled, what an ass, no wonder he's defending Carla "in your testimony you said my client would often hit you, is that correct?" He asked loki "Yes what's the question" no no don't lose your cool sweet baby, you have to keep calm "Well are you familiar with this term BDSM , it stands for Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, Sadochism & Masochism?" He asked loki and everyone looked at each other in shock "I suppose I do" he answered without any qualm "Your honor my client have submitted this document with mr. Loki's signature on it, have a look, it proves the fact that mr. Odinson himself gave full permission to my client to lay her hands on him during sexual activities, he participated in such rauncheous behaviour willingly according to the contract"

That can't be he would never sign such a contract, even if he did he would have told you and his lawyer "That's rubbish, I have never signed anything like that" loki defended himself but it was of no use "It does have your signature Mr. Odinson" the judge verfied the documents, This can't be good, how did she get his signature? Did she forge it? You see loki and your eyes met with him and then you see him facepalming as he had a sudden realisation

"Loki sign this form for me please" Carla asked him sweetly "what is this angel? I thought we were done with my case for good" He asked her as he held a bunch of papers in his hands "just the last minute formalities don't worry about it, just sign, here on the bottom on all of them, sweetie" and he did , he signed on each and every one of them like a fool without even reading them first, she must have hid this in between somewhere.

"This is your signature correct" her lawyer showed him the contract and he sighed

"Yes It is" he agreed and his lawyer was shocked, the jury murmured and the judge shook her head, its not good , it can't be good.

"She tricked me, it was in the beginning of our relationship, we just got done with my case .." her lawyer interrupted him and cut him off "oh yes your case against the state of New York, we all remember that" loki clenched his jaw and spoke again "yes, thanks for clarifying, I'm sure none of us remembered that, anyways, she told me it was all about the case so I signed it" he explained himself but you didn't think it would really matter much "did she also trick you when you forced yourself in her apartment along with your friend Eddie Brock and threatened her continuously? " Her lawyer asked him again, when did that happen? You looked at Eddie and he looked down "Your honor, my client have submitted a video proof of mr Odinson and his friend Eddie threatening my client in her own apartment, this gentleman in the box can apparently teleport while his friend over there, god knows what is that, Prepare yourselves because it's going to be hard to watch.

The video showed loki and eddie inside her apartment, on the day she came back from the clutches of Thanos, it had no audio conveniently and just by looking at the video you would assume two guys with superhuman abilities were torturing a poor woman. She must have installed those cameras after loki visited her on the night she came to the store "okay first of all, we didn't go there to threaten her, she disappeared and she came back, I just wanted to know where she was, that's it, she was taken by Thanos and then on the same day my prin..my girlfriend was kidnapped too, I just needed her whereabouts, nothing more" he explained himself as best as he could and her lawyer didn't have anything to add to that. They could still save it, there's plenty of proof against her already right?

"Your honour now I would like to call mr Loki Odinson new girlfriend miss y/n y/l/n to the witness stand"

Wait what?

[caffeineforbucky]

As Time Goes By...(Chapter three)

A/N: This one took a while to write. I've just been so busy doing absolutely nothing all while procrastinating, so special thanks to that. No, but I really hope you like this, fellow reader. If you like the series, let me know if you want to be tagged!

(Side note: I've been playing RE8, thirsting over lady D, and dying over and over...it's going great! It's part of the procrastination...)

Also, has anyone seen the Bridgerton musical tiktoks? I swear I've had the 'burn for you' song in my head all last month and if you've been living under a rock...here's the link:

https://youtu.be/EwY9_m5qeow

Word Count: 2,299

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem! Reader

Warnings: I don't know....angst? As always, John Walker!?! AKA; Fake Cap. Umm...If I missed any let me know.

(A little PSA: I don't hate John Walker: or the actor. John is a well-written character. This is just strictly for the purpose of where my story is going. I'm more reiterating how Bucky treats him in the show. Thank you!!)

You groan, rolling from your left side to lay flatly on your back, arms spread out beside you. You inhale deeply, becoming aware of the moistened dirt and crushed wildflowers beneath you as they release their aromatics. Birds chirped around you, the busy sounds of traffic fading away while you lie still in the field, oxygen feeling heavy in your lungs.

"Y/N?!"

You barely heard the worrisome calls of Sam over the sound of your heart pounding in your ears. You lift your head, the view of icy mountains in the distance, blurry figures making their way towards you while you somehow managed to sit up. Your head was spinning, a sharp ache on the side of your thigh.

Your eyes flickered down, taking note of the small paring knife lodged in your thigh. You exhaled softly, nodding your head at the sight of it. "Okay," You grumble in agreement. With shaking hands, you wrap your fingers around the handle, bracing yourself by taking intervolved breaths before carefully pulling it from your thigh.

You worked fast, ignoring the crunch of rocks and dirt under the acknowledgeable footsteps of Sam and Bucky. Taking babochka, you cut off the end of your pant leg, wrapping the spandex around your wounded thigh before securing it with one of the holsters, tying the ends into a knot. You remain quiet, carefully pushing yourself up to your feet, transferring all of the weight to the opposite leg, eyes drifting up to meet the guys. "Are you guys okay?" You murmur, dusting off the clumps of dirt and dead leaves from your jacket.

"Are you?!" Sam exclaimed incredulously. "You're bleeding!" He points out, gesturing to the bright red staining the skin of your calf as it dripped down to your boot. The wrap might've held the wound shut, but that didn't mean blood wouldn't have soaked through.

"Oh, this?" You ask, glancing down at your leg, the wound throbbing in agony, but you did your best to avoid it. "I've had worse." That was true, from all those years fighting as an avenger. Getting shot, kicked, stabbed, beaten until you were purple, and undergoing mind control. This tiny stab was the least of your worries. It still hurt like hell, and you couldn't hide the discomfort in your features.

"Do you want a piggyback?" Bucky asks suddenly, slightly annoyed at your nonchalance and still concerned nonetheless. You weren't expecting it, the odd but kind offer, especially from the menace himself. Though you weren't one to pass up being carried. With a hesitant nod, you agree, watching Bucky crouch just a bit, allowing you to climb on his back.

The position was awkward for both of you. With his hands tightening on the back of your knees and your arms wrapped around his neck, neither of you could think straight. Yet, you were still thankful. The road to the airport was a long one, and you weren't sure if you could make it in your state. Bucky held you as if you weighed nothing, his super-soldier strength showing off while he carried you on his back, footsteps matching up with Sam. He didn't mind doing it, especially since he was the one who offered, and the proximity was just a bonus.

"Sorry about Redwing," Bucky muses, breaking the silence while the three of you sauntered down the empty road. There was nothing for miles, only empty plains of grass and dirt. Young trees scattered, lacking the greenery around them, evident of the cold weather in Munich.

"No, you're not," Sam remarks, narrowing his eyes to a pinprick at the winter soldier. "You've always hated Redwing."

"That doesn't mean I'm not sorry about it," Bucky grumbles, tightening his hold on you as he felt you slipping. You gasp at the sudden strength, clinging better to his shoulders as well. "How're you doin' up there?" He asks, jaw clenching from your touch.

"All things considering," You sigh, pushing aside the butterflies in your tummy at how close you were to Bucky. "I've been better. We've gotta find out where that super serum is coming from."

"Yeah," Sam chimed in, glancing at you. "-And how the hell after 80 years are there eight super-soldiers runnin' loose?"

Loud honks of a horn ring in your ears, tires treading on the gravel as an army jeep slows down beside the three of you. "So, that didn't go as planned, huh?" John chuckles, pushing the door open only for you to keep walking, paying no mind to the man in stars and stripes.

"Okay, keep going," John utters, signaling the driver to keep up as he pulls the door shut. "Look, at least we know what we're up against, huh? And I'm pretty sure it's one of the big three...so,"

"Aliens, androids, or wizards," Lemar comments as John nods his head in agreement.

"There's no such thing as wizards!" Bucky grunts, keeping his eyes forward, hands on the back of your knees.

"Fine, aliens or androids," John settles, sharing a look with his best friend beside him. "Look, it's 20 miles to the airport, and you guys need a ride. Gary, stop," He instructs, the wheels slowing down. John opens the door once again. "Get in," He sighs, motioning all of you inside the jeep as Bucky and Sam's footsteps came to a halt.

Bucky gently sets you down, taking note of the small whimpers falling from your lips. No matter how tough you appeared to be, you still carried so much vulnerability. "You okay?" He asks, eyes filled with so much concern it almost scared you. He hadn't looked at you like that in a while. "Do you want any help?"

With a soft nod, you oblige to Bucky's ask, needing more help than you anticipated. You didn't want to add any strain or force to your injury. You didn't even realize it happened, and that part of it was Sam's fault for swooping to grab you while you had a knife in hand, but you weren't going to start pointing fingers. You wrap your arm around Bucky's shoulder, using him as support while he boosts you up on the jeep after Sam climbs up first, helping you settle beside him.

"Woah!" John exclaims, almost rising to his feet at the sight of your thigh, your hands stained with blood. "Are you okay?"

With a curt nod, you adjust yourself to relieve some of the pressure while Bucky takes a seat on your left, leaving you to be right smack dab in the middle as he pulls the door shut. You blow out a breath, knowing damn well if it hadn't been for the mishap, you would've walked the damn 20 miles.

"Lemar, hand me the first aid kit," John instructs, pointing to the steel case beside his friend. You wanted to protest, but even you knew that the strap wasn't going to work. Mouthing a thank you, you take the case from Lemar's hand and clip it open.

"Okay, so we got eight super-soldiers on a bulk supply run," John continues, the jeep beginning to roll down the road. You hand the case to Sam, asking him to hold it while you searched for gauze, medical tape, and butterfly bandages, you were probably going to need stitches, but you'd worry about that later. "Why?" John asks, watching closely as you patched up your wound.

"They say their mission is to get things back to the way it was during the blip," Sam answers, handing you another strip of tape. "Maybe they're just tryna help."

"They had a funny way of showing it," Bucky adds, his eyes trained on you, a hiss slipping through your lips as you roll down the remaining spandex. You sigh in relief, the ache becoming dull as you shut the case, giving it back to Lemar.

"Better?" John asks, earning a single nod as a response. "I don't think we've properly met. John Walker," he smiles, offering a shake of his hand, but you didn't move, only staring at the outstretched palm in front of you. "Does she talk?" John mumbles suddenly, looking to Sam or Bucky for a reply.

Your eyes cast down, gaze hardening at the sight of the shield in his grasp. Flashes of Steve running through your mind, the many times he'd catch you trying to throw it like he would. Steve Rogers meant a lot to you, having joined him in not signing the Sokovian accords, being an outlaw, and helping to clear Bucky's name with Sam. So, seeing a man who wasn't Steve hold the shield awoke something in you. Something unkind and hateful.

"When she wants to," You claim, John squirms in his seat, sensing the tension as your eyes flicker to his. "And frankly has no desire to speak to you."

"You don't even know me," John defends, glancing at Bucky, a sly smirk on his lips, and Sam, who rendered quiet, his eyes looking elsewhere. John sets his attention back on you, lips razor thin.

You scoff, shaking your head softly as you fold your arms over your chest. "Jonathon F. Walker," You begin, leaning back in your seat, your eyes never leaving his. "Former Captain of the U.S Army's 75th Rangers Regiment. Graduated at the top of your class from the United States Military and the first person in American history to receive three medals of honor, ran RS-one missions in counterterrorism and hostage rescue."

John's tongue darts between his lips, a frown spreading throughout his forehead at the information you were giving him. Either you did research on him or, you just read his file, which you had done both. You were not one to go into a mission without potentially knowing who you were up against. It was better to be safe than sorry.

"So you saw the news?" John chuckles, the frown falling from his features while he shrugs. "Big deal, so did the entire world."

"Custer's Grove High school alumni."

John's smile falters.

"There you met, Lemar Hoskins and your current wife," You tilt your head in curiosity. "Olivia, right? Or am I getting it wrong?"

Clearing his throat softly, John broke eye contact with you. So you did know him, and you probably knew more than you led on. "Do they always just stare like that?" He gestures between you and Bucky, who had displayed the same distaste for him.

Sam glances beside him, observing the matched body language you shared with Bucky, its no wonder Bucky had taken a liking to you, even if he'd never admit it. "You get used to it," Sam smirks, turning his head back to Walker.

"Okay..." John drags, eyes flickering to the more sensible one of the trio, and that was Sam. "Look, that serum doesn't have the greatest track record, no offense," He waves his hand, dismissing the insult directed towards the only super-soldier in the car.

"We need to figure out where they're going. How'd you track 'em here?" Sam asks, "The flag smashers."

"Uh," Lemar murmurs, scratching the back of his head. "We didn't track them. We tracked you through Redwing."

"You hacked my tech!?" Sam gripes, straightening out his back as he sat up.

"Sorry," John laughs, "It's not exactly hacking. It's government property...kind of the government. Alright, you know things have gotten kind of..."

"Chaotic," Lemar adds.

"Yeah," John nods in agreement. "The GRC, they're doing their best to get things up and running smoothly post blip. If you guys teamed up with us-"

"No." Bucky interrupts. He couldn't let Walker finish that sentence.

"I've got mad respect for all of you," Lemar praises, looking between the trio before him. "But you were getting your asses kicked 'til we showed up."

"And who are you?" Bucky bemuses, cocking a brow at the man next to John.

"Lemar Hoskins," You mention, "I could've sworn we've been through this." You shake your head at the old man, for being 106, he couldn't hear a thing.

"I see a guy hanging out of a helicopter in tactical gear," Sam shrugs, "I'm gonna need a lot more than Lemar Hoskins."

"I'm Battlestar, John's partner."

"Battlestar?" Bucky repeats, narrowing his eyes at Lemar as he nods, confirming his alias. "Stop the car!" Bucky shouts suddenly, brakes screeching as the wheels come to a stop in the middle of the road. Bucky pulls open the handle, ducking, as to not rail his head on the bar-frame above him before hopping off the jeep.

"Look, I get it, okay?" John sighs, calling after Bucky. "I get the attitude, I do. You didn't think the shield was gonna end up here. I get it, Bucky. And I'm not trying to be Steve!"

"Good," You interject, rendering John to settle his eyes on you. "Because you will never be. And just because you're the one wielding it..." You grab the bar above your head, using it to pull yourself up. "It doesn't make you Captain America." And with that, you carefully jump off the jeep, following after the heated super-soldier.

Sighing in frustration, he rips his eyes away from your retreating figures. "I'm not trying to replace him either. I'm just trying to be the best Captain America I can be." He explains to Sam, hoping the falcon would cut him some slack. "-And it'd be a whole lot easier if I had Cap's wingman on my side."

Sam's eyes widen in surprise, his tongue darting between his lips. "It's always that last line," He scoffs, shaking his head as he jumped off the car, following you and Bucky.

John's lips thin out, face scrunching in a scowl. "Let's go," He instructs. The sound of the jeep leaving making its way to your ears.