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#I'm sorry but God is taking so long with this
iiseor · 3 days
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puppy | E.W
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first time writing full smut . . so be gracious pls. i don't rmb ib . . so tag if u do lol — cw: sub!ellie, loser!ellie, fem reader, both afab, sex (duh), slight dacryphilia, fingering, cunnilingus, mommy kink, scissoring, cum eating, dom!reader, lol lol okay . . think thats all 🐈‍⬛ UNEDITED so ignore errors ty
"I need her so bad.” you say as you drag a cigarette between your lips, digging through your pockets in search of a lighter. The evening was loud, you and Dina has stepped out of the house to break from the over crowded party — the whether damp and gloomy making it look like midnight already. You groaned as dina took the cigarette out of your mouth, lighting it as she grew impatient waiting for you to finish digging through your pockets. "Did you even hear me?" You scoffed standing up to grab the now lit cigarette from her hands. Dina rolled her eyes at you, slightly laughing at what she thought, was your stupidity. "Shes to innocent for you babe" she replied after blowing out the smoke. "Yea? I'm sure nobody's that innocent. ." You replied taking another inhale from the cigarette. “You remember when i had to tutor her on sex ed?!" Dina laughed louder though her words, you scoff “that means nothing, maybe she needed help finding-" Dina cut you off with an even louder laugh, you rolled your eyes once again and shoved past her — stomping on the cigarette as you walked back into the house.
It was your sophomore year of college, at first — you were dreading moving back into your dorm the moment you found out you would have to move into a double this semester. Lucky for you, that all changed the moment you realize who your roomate was. Ellie. . the girl you've been practically obsessed with for as long as you can remember. God was she a fucking loser—but you loved it. The way she subtly watched you in admiration thinking you never noticed, the way she'd follow you around like a lost puppy whenever you hanged out in large groups . . She was an addiction to you — and you needed more. With her bed right across from yours, your mind spiraled with the ideas of her every time the sun set. When you finally fell asleep, all you could dream about was the way she’d sound underneath your grip . . fuck it killed you. You knew ellie was inexperienced, definitely not innocent like dina described it . . but she had never been with a girl the way you had been with a girl — you hated it, but we're also obsessed with the idea of being her first full body.
standing in front of the door to your dorm, Dina scoffed before you turned around to face her. "Suddenly you're nervous?" She questioned looking at you with an attitude, "I'm not . . fuck off dina" you responded. It was midnight now, actually midnight, and the two of you finally made it back to campus. Clothes drenched by the sudden storm — you turned away from the black haired girl and pulled out your dorm key. "I'll be praying for you, but i still don't think you have a chance!" Dina said, walking off before you could respond. You sighed heavily leaning your head back before you fully unlocked the door walked inside shaking your head. You hang up your soaked jacket and lift off your T-shirt leaving a tank top underneath. Throwing the wet t-shirt into your laundry hamper, you're caught off gaurd by the sounds of groans.
"Els?" You question walking into kitchen, making her jump. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you . . But you're really loud" you laughed. Ellie sighs through a laugh and turns back to her papers placing her pencil down on the counter. You walked closer to her, studying her expressions in an attempt to read her feelings. Watching her for a few moments in silence, you view her furrowed eyebrows as she chews on the eraser of her pencil. Moving even closer to lean over her shoulder, your breathe against her skin catches her off gaurd. "Need any help?" You question, slightly dragging your fingers up and down her exposed arms. Ellie smiled to herself before responding, "like you could help me" she scoffed sarcastically and you frowned "what is that supposed to mean?" You questioned, and ellie turned around to face you, you — backing up slightly so your eyes could meet once she's adjusted in her chair. "I just mean . . you know, I'm smart. . It's okay" her words made you laugh, "oh I know you're smart baby, but you look so stressed" you said patting her head, nearly petting her as she blushed at your response. "so pathetic" you thought in your head, your
teasing was ever so slightly, yet just enough to make her a re mess. Standing just above her, Ellie's eyes uncontrollably meet your chest — staring for a moment before she catches herself and looks away. You giggle as you watch her, causing sudden embarrassment to flush over her. "My eyes are up here" you said lifting her chin to face you, "i wasn-" Ellie's voice was shaky as she met your eyes again — nearly trembling over how close you two were. "I'm sorry" she barely gets out through a voice crack. You bite your lips hiding a smile as you look down at her, caressing her cheeks with your thumb. You hummed, pulling your body on top of hers in a straddle position—ellie's body slightly shocked by the sudden contact. "Look at me" you said as she tried to look in any other direction, before obeying your words and looking up at you. "have you done this before?" you questioned her remaining eye contact, your softer now — somewhat soothing her firing anxiety. Ellie shook her head, staring at you like a deer caught in the headlights. You chuckled, still soothing her cheeks with free hand — the other one caressing her thigh. "Have you thought about it?" You asked her bluntly, your voice just barely above a whisper as your faces were now closer than ever — lips Barry just brushing over eachother as ellie did nothing but whine in response. "use ur words baby . ." You responded, using your free hand to grab her jaw, forcing eye contact. "Yes" she stuttered through her response and you smirked, her breathe heavily filling the room already. "Tell me then . . . have you thought about?" You whispered again, eyes now on her lips.
"you . . I've thought about you" she blurted out, your eyes dragging up from her lips and onto hers. those words was all it took for you to pull her up, making her stand with you as you dragged her over to the living room and onto the couch. obediently, she sits down on the cushions as you tower over her — watching her fidget in her seat before you move to straddle her again. holding her chin with your hand, you pull her lips into yours aggressively — guiding her hands onto your waist. Ellie grips your sides as you slightly grind yourself against her — the small friction sending her into a trance. struggling to focus on your lips, distracted by her desperate attempts to feel you — you pull away from the kiss giving her a moment to breathe. "What do you want me to do?” you whisper, your breathe brushing her lips. Ellie whines and you grip her chin harder, "use your words . ." You add onto your words, causing her to whine again and choke out a response. "please . . touch me" she says softly — you smiling at her words.
pushing her down onto the couch, your mouth is on her lips again — even more aggressive then before, and Ellie wines as you make your way down her body. Dragging down her bottoms, you gently brush your hand over her boxers — ellies breath growing heavier with every touch. slowly enough to make her whine, you pull down hee boxers and push your hand up her body before dragging it back down. "
“You’re so pretty” You whisper, ellies eyes fluttering as her face grew red. "has anyone else ever seen you like this?" you questioned with your hand caressing her thigh again, your eyes watching it before you move them to look at her. ellie shakes her head before letting out a quiet "no", her response making you smile as you dragged your hand from her thigh onto her cunt, a moan escaping her lips in response to the sudden pleasure. Her desperation has you over the edge. She's a mess as you continue to rub her clit before bring your mouth down. your tongue gently moving up and down causes desperate 'pleases' to escape her mouth. Looking up at her with your head still between her legs, you move your down to her entrance. Without warning, you push two fingers into her cunt slowly — the suddenness causing a loud "fuck" to come out of her mouth.
"so perfect" you whine out, leaning down to latch your mouth into her clot — sucking onto it as you speed up your pace. fingers pumping in and out of her, ellies moans filled your ears — causing your own pleasure to form below. "f-feels so good. ." She whines out, her voice breaking as she attempts to hide her moans. Her words spark something within your body, making you increase your pace — the wetness between your mouth still sucking on her clit, and the juices spilling from ber cunt, causing you to moan into her. "I'm gonna-" she attempts to speak but cuts herself off with another loud moan.
"Not yet baby . . wanna hear you" you breathe out louder than before, removing your mouth for a slight moment to speak before pushing yourself back into her. she was an addiction, her sweet taste making it nearly impossible for you to stop. Tears spilled from ellies eyes as she attempted to obey your commands, grinding her hips into your face and fingers — she was entirely overwhelmed. "p-please, please let me cum.” She cries, her new tone causing you to smile to yourself.
Removing your mouth from her, your fingers still at a steady pace, you lean over her and use your free hand to grab her face harshly. "Say it again" you instructed her, her eyes still filled with tears as she practically yelled out her response. "Please- please mommy, please I need it.” Her words sending electricity throughout your body and you grow needy. With your own wet spot grown on your shorts, you remove your fingers from inside her causing her to whine loudly. Moving the fabric aside, you push your body onto hers. Careful not to waste time, you alone your clit with hers — holding her body down just enough for you to aggressively grind against her. The two of you moaning loud enough for whoever might be walking by the rooms to hear, shamelessly shes yelling your name as you fuck her ruthlessly. "it's . . Too much please, please y/n" she whimpered out, you aggressively pushing yourself down onto her harder, "take it baby . . you're doing so good. ." You responded, your tone sympathetic to her cries. ellie attempts to grind herself against you, desperate to put work in. "I need to cum, please let me cum, it- y-you f-feel so fucking good" she cries out louder than ever and you can feel your own release coming on with every grind against her soaking clit. "Cum with me baby . . . cum with mommy" you ordered in a husky tone, your voice alone being enough for her orgasm to come over her.
Before she could come down from her climax, you lifted yourself off of her — a string of your releases trailing off of your clit as you shifted your body down once again, pushing your mouth into her cum filled cunt. Ellie whimpered as you took her in, savouring her taste and sucking on her ever so slightly — being cautious of her sensitivity. Releasing your mouth from her body, you looked up at her — her hair a mess and her eyes still watery as she attempted to catch her breathe. You began kissing up her body until you reached her face, caressing her body up and down gently, she did the same with what strength she had left in her. "such a good girl" you whispered out, your eyes meeting her reddened face causing you to smile. "mmmm . ." You moaned into her lips as you pulled her in for a more gentle and passionate kiss.
"you did so good baby" you said barely moved away from her lips, "so so good" you added on, caressing her blushed face as her eyes — still dampened from her heavy tears, fluttered tiredly in response to your praises.
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Note
I’m a big sucker for Psych Au fics. Reader is a cis female doctor who treats Tord with kindness. He becomes obsessed with her. Refuses to talk to any other doctor.
Tord is always on his best behavior for her which leads her to let her guard down.
BIG MISTAKE
I was supposed to be asleep five hours ago but I couldn’t until I finished this. Just know that in my heart, this takes place in Arkham. Also I'm super rusty so I apologize if anything feels off/wonky.
CW: Noncon
Dark themes ahead, please read at your own discretion and keep yourself safe. This is a work of fiction and I do not condone or support scenarios like this in real life
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“You dropped this.” 
The man stares at you wide eyed as you hand him his lighter. He stands, rigid. You give him a gentle smile and press it into his palm, your other hand curling around the back of his hand. 
“I know there’s no fluid in it, so you don’t have to worry about me taking it,” you say to him. You pat his hand and step away.
The man turns fully towards you and you’re able to read the name sewed onto his shirt. 
“I-” the man- Tord- swallows hard. He quickly pockets the lighter. “Thank you.” 
You give him another smile and walk past him. He had seemed to be going the same way as you but he never caught up. Nor did you hear footsteps behind you. Once you reach the director’s office, he leaves your thoughts. You were absolutely determined to make a good first impression on your first day of the job. 
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The man you met earlier had turned out to be your first patient. And oh boy, what a patient he was. Like you had promised yourself you weren’t going to judge any of these people but god damn. His file was thick. At least twenty papers were inside the manilla folder you had received from the head director’s office. Maybe even more. 
You’d never know if you kept standing outside the director’s office gawking at it. You take a deep breath. Going through it sitting down was probably a good idea. As you make your way to the breakroom, your grip on the folder is tight, trying your best to make sure you don’t drop it and reveal your patient's file. 
Thankfully, it doesn’t take you long to get to the breakroom. A few people were there but they paid you no mind. They sit, hunched over lunch or their own files. You sit and start to read. 
Løvik Tord
3 7 2 5 9
DOB: 1995
Age: 28
Hair: Dark brown with lighter brown roots
Eye: Silver
You end up skimming through this until you get to the bottom of the page. It wasn’t… pretty. 
CASE INFORMATION: 
Tord is a violent man. He is aggressive, manipulative, and has a short temper. Many doctors have tried working with him to no avail. He does not respond kindly to Dr.Casey (see page 5), Dr.Bonnie (see page 8), Dr.Roxy (see page 12), or Dr.Harley (see page 15). 
He is extremely aggressive towards Dr. Bruce (see page 20). 
You stop reading there, your chest feeling tight. You flip to page twenty. It’s not the last page like you had hoped. There were still…. Quite a bit in the file. 
Dr.Bruce has tried everything he can to help Tord. He has tried finding common ground with the patient. Has tried being lax and strict with Tord’s schedule. Has tried working with Tord and letting him sit outside. Tord had found every loophole and burned every bridge until Dr.Bruce stopped lenient treatments. Tord stabbed Dr.Bruce fifteen times before guards made their way into the room. 
It is unknown how and where he had gotten his hands on a sharp long blade. Tord was seen licking the blood of-
“Don’t worry if you can’t fix him. At this point, Doctor Markman hands his case off to fresh blood to showcase this place. No one expects you to be able to tame him.” 
You startle at the voice, goosebumps raised on your arms. “I’m sorry?” you ask with a polite smile. Anger clouded your fear. What the hell was this person talking about?
The doctor, Alice, her name tag reads, smiles at you. 
“Nearly everyone has tried working with him at this point,” she continues. “No one expects him to ever get better. He's here for murder, after all.” 
You give her a tight smile in return. “I’ll just have to see for myself.” 
Before she can keep going, you straighten up the papers and close the folder. 
“I appreciate the advice, but I must be going now,” you lie through your teeth. What bullshit! What kind of doctors run this place? 
You actually hadn’t needed to be anywhere for another thirty minutes but if this conversation continued you wouldn’t be able to hold your tongue. Everyone can be saved. With compassion and kindness and help, no one was beyond redemption. Or too far gone for help. 
You storm out of the breakroom and wander. 
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“I was hoping I’d see you again.” 
Tord grins at you as he’s escorted in. His hands are cuffed and before he can sit down, the guard pats him down. 
It makes your stomach churn but you keep your face kind. 
“It’s nice to see you too,” you greet. You watch cautiously as he sits down in the plush chair. The guard leaves the room. 
Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.
It’s silent enough to hear the clock as the two of you study each other. He seems to drink you in, eyes wandering up and down, seeming to take in everything. You’d do the same if you weren’t a professional. 
“You used to dye your hair?” 
Tord raises an eyebrow. He tilts his head a little, eyes focused solely on you. It unnerves you almost as much as his file had. No patient of yours had ever stared at you so intensely in the past….
After a moment, he answers. “Yes. I fancied black quite a bit.” He gestures towards his roots. “It’s been a while since Bruce got me more dye. No one else will.” 
“I could look into it,” you clasp your hands, jumping into this opportunity. “I can’t promise anything, but I’ll talk to Doctor Marksman.” 
“And what do you want from me in return?”
“I’m sorry?” 
His gaze hardens. “What. do. You. want.” He grinds out, his body rigid in the chair. His hands were clenched.
Without thinking, puzzlement falls across your face. What did he mean? What did you want? For him to get better, obviously. 
“I want you to be at ease with your mental health,” you answer, still looking puzzled. “I don’t want anything else from this job but that. I’m not dangling hair dye in front of you in exchange. I want you to feel comfortable in your skin and at home here, Mr.Løvik.” 
Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. 
“Is that really what you want?” Tord asks, an emotion you can’t quite place in his voice. “To help me get better?” 
Whatever it may be, you smile at him. 
“Of course. I want nothing but to see you succeed and be happy here.” 
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Things were easier after that first session. You always started off kindly, asking Tord how his day was going. If his favorite show or movie had aired on the television today.If his favorite food had been served that morning or afternoon. If he slept fine through the dreadful storm. 
(“I know I wasn’t,” you had laughed. “I tossed and turned, jumping at each sound all night.”
“I’m sure your boyfriend was quite displeased.”
“Oh,” you chuckle. “Well, no. I have a cat but no boyfriend. I was too busy getting my decree to ever really mingle like that. Though, my poor little man was also distraught at all the thunder last night. He yowled at my door until I let him into my room and he curled up on my bed. I’ll bring pictures next time.”) 
Too well for you and only you. Tord refused to talk to anyone but you. He would sit in silence or insult other doctors during his sessions. In one instance, he broke a new doctor’s nose. The poor guy had quit on the spot, cussing Tord and the whole place out as he was escorted to the medical section. 
You were tense the next few sessions but that violent man was nowhere to be found. He kept his cuffed hands right in front where you can see them at all times. He never lunged from you. In fact, barely ever moved in his chair. 
Tord was easygoing. Polite, charming, even. He took any medications he needed obediently and put up no fuss when you’d have him describe in later sessions how he was feeling and if he was feeling any negative side effects. 
He asked about your cat. About how your favorite show was going. If the movie you were looking forward to has come out yet. If your favorite restaurant down the street from your apartment was still closed for renovations. 
Eventually, enough time had passed that you relaxed. You stopped keeping your eyes trained on his hands. You stopped worrying yourself sick about his body language. You focused on his treatments and his mental health. 
If he was going to hurt me he would have done so by now, you thought to yourself after your latest session with Tord. He was doing so much better than he had been doing six months ago. It seemed as if you were really making a difference, helping him improve. 
It had been three months since he last fought another patient. Two months since he assaulted another doctor. And five months since he refused treatment of any kind. 
You step outside the building and take a deep breath. A dopey smile sticks to your face as you walk to your car. Becoming a doctor was the best choice you’ve ever made. Nothing was more rewarding than helping people. Not even this cloudy weather could bring you down. 
In fact, nothing tried to drag your mood down. There was no traffic on the way home. Some asshole hadn’t parked in your assigned parking spot again in the parking lot of your apartment. And your sweet cat hadn’t knocked his little box over again. 
You happily reheat your leftovers and watch tv for a while before you get ready for bed. Unfortunately, your mood does come crashing down. 
In the middle of the night, thunder wakes you. You jolt up, scrambling for your phone. Your hands come up empty. Shit, you think. I left it charging in the kitchen. Ugh. Oh well, you don’t need to look at your phone to see it is late and storming. 
Another loud sound booms through your apartment. Only this time, it sounds like a crash. 
“It’s just thunder,” you tell yourself. “Nothing to be afraid of.” You lay back down. Your eyes shut and you’re just about drifting to sleep when your door creeks open. 
You bolt up, knowing damn well that your cat can’t open doors and you freeze. 
Your heart races as your mind tries to process just who was in front of you. 
“Tord?” you whimper, hands shaking. But that can’t be. That was impossible. He was supposed to be sleeping soundly in his room with the soundproof headphones you got him. He didn’t like storms. The thunder reminded him too much of gunshots and made him restless. 
Useless information floods your brain. 
“I’m home, sweetheart,” he rasps. His grin is soft in the moonlight. He reaches over to flick on your bedroom light. 
He’s gentle he’s kind he’s sweet he’s-
He’s covered in blood.
Tord steps forward and you’re frozen in bed. His eyes are wild as they drink you in. There’s blood on his hands. In his hair. Splatters on his face. 
“Oh honey how I’ve dreamed of this,” he croons at the foot of your bed. “Your apartment is just as cute as you described.” 
He grabs the edge of your blanket and pulls it off. His smile grows sappy. “You did go for the red pants like I suggested.” He giggles, staring between your legs. “I wonder if there’s a match beneath them.”
That snaps you out of your shocked stupor. You scramble off your bed, slamming your head hard against your nightstand as you try to avoid Tord’s lunging grasp. 
You lay fetal on the floor, tears in your eyes as you clutch your head. “Fuck,” you hiss.
Tord clicks his tongue. He slowly climbs off your bed, crouching next to you. “My poor clumsy sweetheart.” 
You feel his hands in your hair. 
“What do you want?” you gasp. Fear and pain mix as you start to cry into your carpet. 
His hands stroke your hair. 
“You.” 
With that, you’re powerless to stop him as he scoops you up into his arms. You thrash as he dumps you back onto your bed, pinning you down. 
“I know you're scared but it’s ok. I’ll be gentle, my love. So gentle.”
Your mind can’t wrap your head around what’s happening. Tord isn’t supposed to be tying your wrists to your headboard. He isn’t supposed to be kissing your neck and grinding his hard arousal between your legs. He isn’t supposed to be in your home. 
“Such a good girl, staying still for me,” Tord says softly as he pulls back. He slides your pants down. Disappoint clouds his eyes when he sees your panties aren’t red but it’s deepened when he pulls those down and you’re barely wet.
“It’s ok sweets. I’ll figure out what gets you going. There’s nothing to be ashamed of in needing help.” 
Anger wells in your chest as Tord fishes for something in one of his pockets. How dare he. How dare he parrot your own advice back at you. As if this was a simple therapy session. As if you were the patient and he was the doctor wanting to help. 
“Get off me!” you snarl. “You know this isn’t right Tord. Y-you’re sick! You need help!” 
Tord stops what he’s doing to stare dead eyed at you. He plucks a clean rag off your nightstand and stuffs it into your mouth. 
“Enough of that,” he scolds. “You need this as much as I do. In fact, doctors orders.” 
He grins at his own twisted joke. He fishes through his pockets again and pulls out a small bottle of lube. “Yes, just what my love needs. A good thorough fuck.” 
You desperately try to spit the rag out but your mouth is too dry. You twist and tug your wrists but to no avail. This was happening. Your gentle, sweet patient was going to take your virginity. 
Tord carefully squirts lube onto his fingers, rubbing them together. He parts your folds, humming appreciatively as he rubs your clit. 
“That’s it, my good girl. Get nice and wet for me.” 
You feel sick. Against your will, his crooning and his touches stir up arousal inside you. You close your eyes as he gently fingers you as if he was searching for something. 
A minute later, your eyes fly open as he jabs something horrible. Your pussy grows slick from it, pleasure building in your lower stomach. 
“There it is.”
You shake your head violently. Not there, you try to plead with your eyes. Anywhere but there! 
But Tord merely smiles at you and ruthlessly abuses that spot. Over and over his fingers jab and curl,  rubbing it. You squeeze your eyes tight, small moans making their way out of your throat as pleasure jolts through you.. His thumb strokes your clit and you cum embarrassedly fast. You stare at the ceiling and wish you hadn’t wanted to cum at all. 
“Good girl,” Tord praises. He pulls his fingers out, eying them appreciatively. He sticks them in his mouth and sucks, moaning. “So sweet. But I’m too impatient to try it from the source. You’ll have to forgive me, my love.” 
Panic jolts up your spine as you feel his tip pressing against your entrance. You try to climb up your bed rest but you only achieve getting a little higher up on your pillows. Tord sighs and presses forward. 
“It’ll hurt for a moment but I promise this will feel good,” Tord tries to soothe. He picks up the lube and squeezes more into his palm and strokes himself. 
You hate him. You hate him with all your heart. 
He pushed forward and once again, you squeezed your eyes tight. His hand roughly grabs your throat. 
“Eyes on me,” he snaps. “I want to see how good I make you feel.” 
The fear overturns the pain and you quickly open your eyes. He pushes further in, reaching down to run your clit. 
Tord rocks his hips a little, eyes starstruck as he stares down at you. “You’re getting wetter,” he mumbles to himself. A grin spreads across his face. 
His hips snap forward, setting a firm pace. He stops rubbing your clit to grab under your thighs. He lifts them up and pushes until they’re almost touching your breasts. 
He thrusts harder and- 
You squeal, bucking your hips as he hits that horrible spot. You can’t stop bucking your hips, jolts of pleasure stabbing your stomach and stars in your eyes. 
Tord pressed closer to you, caging you in. He holds your gaze intensely, panting a little. His eyes dart between your face and your bouncing tits. 
Like earlier, you cum fast. This one hits you harder. And Tord doesn’t stop. 
You cum again and he pulls out. “Move and I’ll beat your ass with a belt,” he growls. He pulls out a switchblade and cuts the rope off your headboard. He’s quick to tie your wrists together. 
You find yourself on your stomach, ass up. Tord firmly holds your hips. He enters again, pressing down against you. Caging you against the mattress as he pounds into your pussy hard. By the time you’re cumming again, he finally cums with you. 
You’re crying by this point. Overstimulation has you cringing, your pussy tingling as he pulls out. Once again, you start to panic. Tord had come inside you. You thrash underneath him. 
“Stop that,” he hisses, slapping your ass hard. You cry harder as he does it another three times. And another, until you finally go still. 
You hear Tord sigh harshly. “I need to be patient with you,” he mumbles to himself. He gets off of you and you hear him leave the room. 
He’s back within minutes, holding a wet hand towel. You’re gently turned over onto your back and he softly cleans you up. You can’t look at him. 
“Mrrow.” 
Your heart jolts. Your cat jumps onto the bed, purring as Tord pets him with his clean hand. Traitor. 
“You rest while I pack,” Tord says softly. He leans down to press a kiss on your forehead. “I’ll grab everything you need and love for our new home.” 
He climbs off the bed and leaves the room again. He comes back with duffel bags. Your cat paddles up to you and curls up next to you. He purrs hard as you sob your eyes out.
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kpop---scenarios · 2 days
Text
Whiplash (6)
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Pairing: Felix x Reader x Hyunjin
Genre: Street Racing, Gang, Friends to Lovers
Warnings: Sexually Suggestive Things, Language, Jealousy, 18+ ONLY
Word Count: 4.2k
Taglist: @sheala--marie @kayleefriedchicken @chartrucewhore @cookiesnmilfx @thicccurls @aznstoner @velvetmoonlght
One | Two | Three | Four | Five |
“You're fucking psycho if you think I'll ever be back in this house again.” You spit. “Who are you? The San I knew would never have done this! Never would have drugged me!” You scream.
Felix and Hyunjin stare at you like they have just seen a ghost.
“I-I never drugged you!” He stuttered. “Are you sure your brain is working?” He laughs.
“There's no way I'd sleep for 12+ hours without you slipping something into my water. I knew it tasted funny!” You yell.
“You mother fucker!” Felix yells, lunging for San. Hyunjin grabs onto him, holding him back. He knows it won't do anyone any good for them to fight, especially you. As angry as he was right now, he knew he needed to do what was best for you and Felix getting into a fight with San would surely not be good for your recovery.
“If I see you out, you better watch your fucking back. I'm sick of you and your shit with Y/N. I swear to god if you touch her again ill fucking kill you.” Felix screams as Hyunjin pulls him outside, with you following closely behind.
Felix pulls himself out of Hyunjin’s grip, walking a little down the short walkway, taking deep breaths to try and calm down.
“I'm sorry.” you whisper. Felix turns around, he looks confused. Hyunjin stares at you in disbelief.
“Sorry for what?” Felix asks, walking closer to you.
“for everything. For believing San over you guys, for coming here, for just everything that I put you through the last little bit.” You cry.
“Listen to me.” Hyunjin starts. “You didn't put us through anything. HE put you and us through hell for his own sick enjoyment.” Hyunjin tells you. You can hear it in his voice how angry and upset he is at the moment.
“Never apologize for this. This wasn't you at all.” Felix chimes in. “So don't feel guilty, don't be upset and don't ever think we're mad at you for any of this.” He finishes.
The three of you walk to the car, Felix opening the passenger door for you before climbing in the back while Hyunjin takes the driver's seat.
“Now.” He starts. “We can go to the house or your apartment, which one do you want?”
“My apartment please.” You breathe. “I begged San to take me there but he wouldn't. I just want to be home.” You say. Hyunjin smiles as he starts to drive in the direction of your place. They were so fucking happy that you had come back to them, but they couldn't help but wonder how long they would have you for before something went wrong, because in their life, something always went wrong.
“Ah, my bed!” You squeal as you lay down gently in your bed, making sure not to hit the still tender wound on the back of your head.
“Are you hungry? Thirsty? Is there anything we can get you? Do you want us to stay? Go?” Felix asks. He really hoped you would ask them to stay.
“Please stay. I don't wanna be without you guys.” You smile. “I know we're really just starting out this relationship and already so many things have happened..” you pause. “So if you want out, tell me now.” You finish, holding your breath.
They both look confused again.
“Out?” Hyunjin asks.
“Why would we want out?” Felix asks.
“Because. Like I said. So much has happened.” You mutter.
“I've waited years for you baby, I'm not going anywhere unless I'm 6 feet in the ground.” Felix says.
“Yeah, you wanna get rid of me love, you're gonna have to kill me.” Hyunjin winks.
How did you end up so fucking lucky? You usually weren't the one to have the happy ending but maybe now things are finally changing for you?
You get under the covers in your bed, patting either side for the boys. They crawl in with you, snuggling up to you. You can't help but fall asleep so quickly, feeling so safe and loved right now. Over the next week you spent almost all your time in bed with Felix and Hyunjin waiting on you hand and foot. By the end of the week you felt back at 10p% and you were so grateful for them. As the three of you went to bed that night, you had a plan for the next day and you hoped they would be on board.
**
You wake up in the morning, feeling refreshed and sweaty. You have Felix’s arm draped around you with Hyunjin’s leg pinning you down. Your head was kinda sore but not as bad as it had been. You were finally feeling more yourself but you knew you needed to take some advil or something to alleviate the soreness you were in. You felt normal again and you loved it.
“Felix.” you groan, poking up. “Hyunjin. Move. My head is sore. I need something.” You say. Both men shoot up in bed, scrambling out and each running in a different direction to find you something. Minutes later Felix comes back with medicine while Hyunjin appears with some water.
“Perfect.” You smile, taking the pills and water. “Thank you. But you know you really didn't need to rush. It's just a small headache.” You giggle.
Felix looks at his phone, then looks back at you. “The guys want to see you.. I guess Chan is really beating himself up about this.” He sighs. You crawl out of bed, looking for some clothes.
“Well let's go then.” You say, grabbing an outfit to change into.
An hour later you're sitting outside the house. “Are you sure you're up for it?” Hyunjin asks.
“Definitely.” You smile. You wanted your normal life back and you needed them to stop treating you like you were a fragile glass doll. You were more resilient than they knew. The three of you walk up to the door. When the door opened, there stood 6 men with smiles on their faces to greet you.
“I'm so glad you're back, Y/N. Once you're up for it I want a beer chugging rematch.” Han laughs, wrapping his arms around you.
“You wanna lose again?” You giggle, moving on to Changbin who squeezes you tightly.
Seungmin and Lee Know both give you a quick hug, murmuring something you didn't quite catch, while Jeongin pulls you in tightly as well. You walk over to Chan, who's standing a little ways back from the group, his head hangs low as you approach him.
“I should have told the cops it was San..Y/N I'm so sorry for this whole thing. It's my fault.. I should have..” he continues to say, but you cut him off.
“Chan, stop it. You couldn't have known how things were going to turn out. I was fine and then I wasn't but I'm okay now. And I hope you know I'm not mad at you and I don't hold any of your decisions against you.” You say. You open your arms, pulling the sad man into you. He wraps his arms around you tightly, sniffling into your shoulder.
“Alright, alright.” Felix says, pulling you away from Chan. “She needs to rest now, go on.” He says, shooing the man away.
“Lix, I'm fine.” You smile. He looks at you like he's going to melt.
“Lix, huh?” He grins. “I like it.”
“Do you?” You say, matching his grin. You lean in closer to him, your lips brushing against his ear. “My Lixxie.” You whisper.
“Oh baby.” He groans, his deep sultry voice coming out to play. “You're just asking for it, aren't you?”
You turn your head, smirking as you look at Hyunjin. “You think I'm asking for it Jin?” You wink. He chuckles as he walks towards the two of you. “Mhmm, Jin? I don't know.” He sighs.
“How about Jinnie?” You whisper.
“I could get used to that.” He grins.
You lean in, your lips so close to touching before Chan pipes up.
“ Sorry to interrupt boys but we've got business to take care of.” He says, looking at Hyunjin and Felix.
“A race?” You question, looking between the two men.
Hyunjin and Felix both glance at each other before Hyunjin sighs. “Yeah there's a race tonight. But we have some things to take care of beforehand.” He says, looking at Felix.
“Stay here. We'll be back as soon as we can, okay?” Felix smiles.
No. You didn't want to stay. You were better, you wanted to go.
“I'm coming.” You say. You flashback to the last time you went and what happened. But you couldn't be afraid forever.
Felix and Hyunjin knew that they couldn't control you and if you said you felt ready then you were ready. They just hated the fact that they couldn't protect you while they raced.
“Fine. But while we race you need to stay with Chan and Changbin, okay? San will likely be there.” Hyunjin sighs.
You nod your head, excited to be able to see them race again. You stayed at the house while they went out and did whatever they needed to do before the rave, when they were done they swung by the house and picked an excited you up and headed out.
The crowd was larger than you remembered. There were more people racing this time and the spot was a lot bigger. You felt sure that with this many people in this big of a place you wouldn't see San.
“Who's racing now?” You ask Felix as the two of you sit on the bed of someone's truck, watching the tires spin and burn while the flag drops and the cars peel off.
“That would be Got7 in the blue car, I think it's Jinyoung driving. And then it's Lucas from NCT in the yellow one.” Felix says, sliding his arm around your shoulder.
Hyunjin walks over to the two of you, hopping up onto the truck beside you, resting his hand on your thigh.
“We're up next. We race against whoever wins this one.” He says. You were nervous, you always felt nervous when they were racing. The chance that there was an accident was really high with how fast they go.
The three of you walked hand in hand towards their group, Got7 had won so they were racing against Jinyoung.
“Be safe.” You sigh, giving both of them a kiss. You link your arm with Chan's as you watch them both walk away. Your eyes scan the crowd, looking at all the people here who were watching, and your eyes landed on someone familiar.
San.
Your body tenses up so much that Chan notices. He looks where you were looking, your eyes locked in with San's.
“It's okay Y/N.” Chan says, rubbing your arm. “We're not going to let anything happen to you.” He smiles. Felix and Hyunjin peel off, the race starts. You knew San was going to be here but it still affected you and you really hadn't thought it would have.
A few minutes later you notice the rest of the guys standing in a half circle, talking to someone. Chan glances over and immediately a grin plastered across his face. “I'll be right back.” He says, pulling his arm from yours and walking over to the others. You stand there alone, peeking over to see a very beautiful girl that they were all talking to. You had no idea who she was but they were all clearly smitten with her. You looked through the crowd again, but didn't see San anymore. You started to calm down a little bit now, feeling like maybe he had left.
Until you feel someone grab your wrist and try to pull you. You look over, seeing San with your wrist in his hand, pulling you towards him.
“Come with me please.” San says, pulling a little harder.
“No. Let go of me.” You say, trying to yank your wrist from his grasp.
“Y/N stop, I just wanna talk.” He says. He starts walking towards the trees, dragging you with him. You turn your head.
“Chan!” You yell. He doesn't hear you. “Chan!” You scream a little louder. He puts up a finger, “just a second, Y/N.” He yells, not even turning around. You didn't have a second.
“I just want to explain!” San grunts. You're getting too close to the trees. Panic sets in. What did you do?
Scream. Scream Y/N.
You let out a loud, ear shattering scream. Chan and the rest of the guys all turn around, looking for you in horror. Chan sees you, San's hand covering your mouth as he drags you into the trees. He, Changbin and Lee Know run towards you, luckily grabbing you before San could get too deep. By the time they reach you, the race is over. Felix and Hyunjin had won, but instead of staying in the car to wait for the next race, they bolted towards the commotion they saw happening with you. They reach you just as Chan pulls you away from San.
“What the fuck is wrong with you!?” Chan yells.
“I just wanted to talk to her!” San yells, defending himself.
“You okay, baby?” Felix asks, giving you a once over.
“How did this happen?” Hyunjin yells. “I thought you were keeping an eye on her!?”
“I was! I was talking to Jennie.. just for a minute.” Chan says.
“I yelled for you! You told me just a second!” You breathe.
Chan hangs his head. “I'm sorry, Y/N. I really didn't think he would try anything.”
“Hyunjin, you go race, I'll stay with Y/N.” Felix says, wrapping his arm around you, taking you away from the group. He had never been more angry at his leader than he was at this moment. The two of you sit there, your head resting on Felix's shoulder. You watched Hyunjin in the car waiting for the race to start. He looks over at you, blowing you a kiss. You grin as you blow one back to him. Felix takes his finger, placing it under your chin, turning your face towards his. He smiles at you before leaning in, placing a tender kiss on your lips. You feel like you're going to melt with the way his lips feel on yours.
He breaks the kiss as he hears the crowd screaming, Hyunjin was racing San. You could feel your anxiety in the pit of your stomach. If San did anything or tried anything, you swore you would kill him.
Hyunjin takes off, you watch as he speeds off leaving San in the dust. You watch intensely where the cars come around the bend for the finish line. You were desperate to see Hyunjin come first. After minutes of waiting, you see him. San closely behind him. Hyunjin switches gears, The car takes off even faster, crossing the finish line well before San. The crowd erupts in cheers. You get off the truck, running towards Hyunjin. You push through the crowd of people and he grabs you, picking you up in a hug, spinning you around. He sets you down, kissing you passionately before the guys come over to celebrate.
“We're going to the club tonight!” Chan yells. “Time to celebrate!” Everyone cheers. You turn around, seeing a defeated San walk towards his group. You almost felt bad for him. Almost.
**
Later that night, you were dressed and ready to head to the club. You were so excited to go and dance with your boys, drink, let loose and have a great time.
“Ready?” Felix asks as he walks into the room.
“Ready.” You smile, walking towards him. He lets out a whistle as he grabs your hand to twirl you around.
“Wow.” He gasps. “Hyunjin.” He yells. “Come here.”
Hyunjin walks into the room wearing a black dress shirt tucked into his black pants, same as Felix and they both looked so fucking good.
“Jesus.” Hyunjin grins. “So sexy.”
You can feel the blush creep across your face as you giggle at the compliments. “Let's go, you two.” You say, grabbing both their hands to drag them out of the room.
“You sure?” Felix asks as you tug him along. “We could just stay home? There's a few things I can think of to do.” He smirks.
“Yeah, it would be a lot more fun.” Hyunjin agrees.
“We're going to celebrate you two. Shush.” You giggle.
The club is packed. You walk in feeling the bass pound through the floors, the smell of sex and sweat fills the air. The three of you make your way to the bar, ordering a few different shots. This felt nice, being out. It felt normal which you loved. After some shots you three made your way to the dance floor. Hyunjin behind you, Felix in front. You hadn't drank in so long that it didn't take very long for the booze to kick in. You stuck out your ass, grinding it onto Hyunjins crotch while Felix was between your legs, his body pressed up against yours. The whole thing was extremely hot, and it made you even hornier than you were to begin with. the feeling of both their hands roaming your body, Hyunjin's breath on the back of your neck, Felix's breath on your ear. You'd let them fuck you right there.
After an hour of dancing, you excused yourself to the bathroom. You could feel your pussy was dripping wet for them and you couldn't wait to get home tonight. You come out of the bathroom, searching for Felix and Hyunjin. You look around and finally see them standing side by side talking to the same girl that had been at the races. You could see her laughing, throwing her head back as she touched both their arms. That pissed you off. You make your way to the bar, sitting on a stool, ordering a drink. You barely notice the man sitting beside you. The bartender sets a drink and a shot beside you. You grab the shot, turning around in your seat to watch your boyfriends with Jennie. You wondered how long it would take for them to notice you hadn't come back yet or if at all. Maybe they were so immersed in the conversation with Jennie they completely forgot they had a girlfriend. You take your shot, setting it down on the bar before grabbing your drink and turning back around again. You're sipping on your drink. And sipping. And sipping. Until you're done and they still haven't noticed. You turn around, ordering another shot and another drink, turning back again to watch them.
You take your shot and before you can turn to grab your drink, there's a man standing in front of you.
“Hello.” He smiles.
“Hi.” You say back staying straight faced.
“Are you here alone?” He asks.
“No.” You deadpan, looking around him to see Hyunjin and Felix.
“I'm talking to you.” He laughs, moving in front of your view.
“And I'm not interested.” You snap, looking up at him.
“Woah, calm down.” He laughs. “Let me buy you a drink?”
“I have a drink.” You sigh.
“Wanna dance?” He asks.
“No.” You say. “Go away please.”
“Ah, just come dance.” He laughs again, grabbing your wrist.
“Bro.” The guy next to you snaps. “She's not fucking interested. Move along.”
“Okay, bro. Is she your girlfriend?” The man asks.
“Doesn't matter if she is or not. She doesn't want to dance, she doesn't want a drink, move the fuck on.” He says, removing his hand from your wrist. The guy scoffs before leaving you alone finally.
“Thank you.” You say looking over at the man who helped you. You squint your eyes, looking a little closer. “Jinyoung?” You ask.
“Yeah?” He responds, looking at you funny.
“You were at the races.” You say. “You raced against Hyunjin and Felix.”
“Yeah I did. Oh! You're their girlfriend. That's right. I remember you.” He says.
“Thank you again for helping me. I appreciate it.” You smile.
“It's no problem. Where are those two anyways?” He asks.
You nod your head in their direction. They were still talking to Jennie and you were fucking annoyed.
“Ah.”
“I've been waiting to see how long it takes for them to notice I haven't come back from the bathroom. And this is embarrassing.” You sigh.
“That sucks. She's such a fucking cunt too.” He laughs. “She puts on a good show of being nice and flirty.”
“I don't want to be jealous. But I am. Cunt or not, they haven't even turned their heads to even peek for me. I'd love to make them jealous.” You laugh.
“Do you wanna dance?” Jinyoung asks. “I'm all for helping out.”
You grin at him as you nod your head. Maybe they won't forget about you to flirt with someone else next time. Jinyoung grabs your hand, pulling you towards the dance floor as you quickly chug your drink. He pulls you past Felix and Hyunjin, you turn your drunk head to smile at them, sticking your tongue out as you get to the front of the dance floor with Jinyoung. In their line of vision perfectly. He places his hands on your waist as you dance with him, moving your hips seductively. You can see the instant anger plastered across both their faces. You weren't sure if it was because you were dancing with another man, or because that man was Jinyoung. You continue to dance, giggling as you stick up your middle finger to them both, making them both slightly laugh. They walk away from Jennie, who turns to watch them, looking offended that they just left in the middle of a conversation.
“Y/N.” Felix says, using his deep voice.
“What?” You ask, still dancing.
“What are you doing?” He asks.
“Dancing.”
“Why are you dancing with another man?” Hyunjin asks.
“Why are you two flirting with Jennie?” You ask, now glaring at them both. “I've been out of the bathroom for 45 minutes, watching you two, neither of you wondered where I was?” You scoff.
“Baby..” Felix starts.
“Don't baby me.” You scoff. “Jinyoung here saved me when some creepy man was trying to force me to dance with him. Where were you two?” You slur.
You turn around facing Jinyoung who had been silent the whole time you'd been talking to them. You keep dancing, only for a second before Hyunjin pulls you away from Jinyoung. You turn to look at him, mouthing a ‘thank you’ as you giggle at the angry men guiding you away. He just laughs.
“I don't need help.” You say, pulling your hands away from them.
“I didn't like that.” Felix says as the three of you get outside. “Seeing you with him.”
“I could have beat the shit out of him.” Hyunjin says.
You say nothing, you just keep walking, both men behind you. You can hear them whispering but you can't hear what they're whispering about. Until you're grabbed, and dragged into an alley. You're pinned against the wall as an angry Hyunjin and Felix stare at you.
“Did you like it?” Hyunjin asks. “the feeling of his hands all over your body.”
“Did you feel his cock on your ass as you grinded with him?” Felix asks.
“Yes and yes.” You say, smirking. You wanted to rile them up. You loved it when they were jealous. You push them out of the way, continuing to stumble your way back to the house. You looked down and then back up, and Felix stood in front of you. He swiftly picks you up, throwing you over his shoulder. He walks the opposite way you were and sets you down inside a car.
You had forgotten they drove here. Felix slides in the backseat with you. You lay on your back, propping yourself up with your elbows as Felix lays semi on top of you. Hyunjin races to the house.
“I don't ever want to see another guy's hands on you ever again.” He whispers in your ear. Hyunjin pulls up to the house in record time, helping you out of the car as Felix gets out on the other side. Hyunjin pins you against the car.
“You're gonna be in big trouble if you ever do that again.” He says, placing kisses down your neck.
“Am I not in trouble now?” You gasp.
“Oh you are.” Felix smirks.
“Well so are you guys.” You say, walking towards the house.
Once you're inside, Felix slams the front door shut. The house is quiet. Everyone else is still out. You slide off your shoes, walking towards the kitchen. Felix grabs you, turning you around, pressing you against the wall. He smashes his lips to yours, kissing you harshly as he pulls up your dress. Hyunjin comes over to the two of you, peppering kisses over your neck as Felix pulls down your panties.
“After tonight, you're not going to want any other man to touch you.” Felix grunts.
This is what you had desperate been waiting for, and you couldn't fucking wait.
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obsessivelyloved · 1 day
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This was requested on one of my nsfw blogs but I went insane and made it 3,000 words long. So I can post most of it here lol. Just know that in my heart, this takes place in Arkham. Also I'm super rusty so I apologize if anything feels off/wonky. The ending is abrupt here bc the rest of it/the ending is nsfw. I was up til 5am writing this and I'm not writing a sfw ending for this blog until after i get more sleep.
Anon asks: I’m a big sucker for Psych Au fics. Reader is a cis female doctor who treats Tord with kindness. He becomes obsessed with her. Refuses to talk to any other doctor. Tord is always on his best behavior for her which leads her to let her guard down. BIG MISTAKE
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“You dropped this.” 
The man stares at you wide eyed as you hand him his lighter. He stands, rigid. You give him a gentle smile and press it into his palm, your other hand curling around the back of his hand. 
“I know there’s no fluid in it, so you don’t have to worry about me taking it,” you say to him. You pat his hand and step away.
The man turns fully towards you and you’re able to read the name sewed onto his shirt. 
“I-” the man- Tord- swallows hard. He quickly pockets the lighter. “Thank you.” 
You give him another smile and walk past him. He seemed to be going the same way as you but he never caught up. Nor did you hear footsteps behind you. Once you reach the director’s office, he leaves your thoughts. You were determined to make a good first impression on your first day of the job. 
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The man you met earlier had turned out to be your first patient. And oh boy, what a patient he was. Like you had promised yourself you weren’t going to judge any of these people but god damn. His file was thick. At least twenty papers were inside the manilla folder you had received from the head director’s office. Maybe even more. 
You’d never know if you kept standing outside the director’s office gawking at it. You take a deep breath. Going through it sitting down was probably a good idea. As you make your way to the breakroom, your grip on the folder is tight, trying your best to make sure you don’t drop it and reveal your patient's file. 
Thankfully, it doesn’t take you long to get to the breakroom. A few people were there but they paid you no mind. They sit, hunched over lunch or their own files. You sit and start to read. 
Løvik Tord
3 7 2 5 9
DOB: 1995
Age: 28
Hair: Dark brown with lighter brown roots
Eye: Silver
You end up skimming through this until you get to the bottom of the page. It wasn’t… pretty. 
CASE INFORMATION: 
Tord is a violent man. He is aggressive, manipulative, and has a short temper. Many doctors have tried working with him to no avail. He does not respond kindly to Dr.Casey (see page 5), Dr.Bonnie (see page 8), Dr.Roxy (see page 12), or Dr.Harley (see page 15). 
He is extremely aggressive towards Dr. Bruce (see page 20). 
You stop reading there, your chest feeling tight. You flip to page twenty. It’s not the last page like you had hoped. There were still…. Quite a bit in the file. 
Dr.Bruce has tried everything he can to help Tord. He has tried finding common ground with the patient. Has tried being lax and strict with Tord’s schedule. Has tried working with Tord and letting him sit outside. Tord had found every loophole and burned every bridge until Dr.Bruce stopped lenient treatments. Tord stabbed Dr.Bruce fifteen times before guards made their way into the room. 
It is unknown how and where he had gotten his hands on a sharp long blade. Tord was seen licking the blood of-
“Don’t worry if you can’t fix him. At this point, Doctor Markman hands his case off to fresh blood to showcase this place. No one expects you to be able to tame him.” 
You startle at the voice, goosebumps raised on your arms. “I’m sorry?” you ask with a polite smile. Anger clouded your fear. What the hell was this person talking about?
The doctor, Alice, her name tag reads, smiles at you. 
“Nearly everyone has tried working with him at this point,” she continues. “No one expects him to ever get better. He's here for murder, after all.” 
You give her a tight smile in return. “I’ll just have to see for myself.” 
Before she can keep going, you straighten up the papers and close the folder. 
“I appreciate the advice, but I must be going now,” you lie through your teeth. What bullshit! What kind of doctors run this place? 
You actually hadn’t needed to be anywhere for another thirty minutes but if this conversation continued you wouldn’t be able to hold your tongue. Everyone can be saved. With compassion and kindness and help, no one was beyond redemption. Or too far gone for help. 
You storm out of the breakroom and wander. 
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“I was hoping I’d see you again.” 
Tord grins at you as he’s escorted in. His hands are cuffed and before he can sit down, the guard pats him down. 
It makes your stomach churn but you keep your face kind. 
“It’s nice to see you too,” you greet. You watch cautiously as he sits down in the plush chair. The guard leaves the room. 
Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.
It’s silent enough to hear the clock as the two of you study each other. He seems to drink you in, eyes wandering up and down, seeming to take in everything. You’d do the same if you weren’t a professional. 
“You used to dye your hair?” 
Tord raises an eyebrow. He tilts his head a little, eyes focused solely on you. It unnerves you almost as much as his file had. No patient of yours had ever stared at you so intensely in the past….
After a moment, he answers. “Yes. I fancied black quite a bit.” He gestures towards his roots. “It’s been a while since Bruce got me more dye. No one else will.” 
“I could look into it,” you clasp your hands, jumping into this opportunity. “I can’t promise anything, but I’ll talk to Doctor Marksman.” 
“And what do you want from me in return?”
“I’m sorry?” 
His gaze hardens. “What. do. You. want.” He grinds out, his body rigid in the chair. His hands were clenched.
Without thinking, puzzlement falls across your face. What did he mean? What did you want? For him to get better, obviously. 
“I want you to be at ease with your mental health,” you answer, still looking puzzled. “I don’t want anything else from this job but that. I’m not dangling hair dye in front of you in exchange. I want you to feel comfortable in your skin and at home here, Mr.Løvik.” 
Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. 
“Is that really what you want?” Tord asks, an emotion you can’t quite place in his voice. “To help me get better?” 
Whatever it may be, you smile at him. 
“Of course. I want nothing but to see you succeed and be happy here.” 
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Things were easier after that first session. You always started off kindly, asking Tord how his day was going. If his favorite show or movie had aired on the television today.If his favorite food had been served that morning or afternoon. If he slept fine through the dreadful storm. 
(“I know I wasn’t,” you had laughed. “I tossed and turned, jumping at each sound all night.”
“I’m sure your boyfriend was quite displeased.”
“Oh,” you chuckle. “Well, no. I have a cat but no boyfriend. I was too busy getting my decree to ever really mingle like that. Though, my poor little man was also distraught at all the thunder last night. He yowled at my door until I let him into my room and he curled up on my bed. I’ll bring pictures next time.”) 
Too well for you and only you. Tord refused to talk to anyone but you. He would sit in silence or insult other doctors during his sessions. In one instance, he broke a new doctor’s nose. The poor guy had quit on the spot, cussing Tord and the whole place out as he was escorted to the medical section. 
You were tense the next few sessions but that violent man was nowhere to be found. He kept his cuffed hands right in front where you can see them at all times. He never lunged from you. In fact, barely ever moved in his chair. 
Tord was easygoing. Polite, charming, even. He took any medications he needed obediently and put up no fuss when you’d have him describe in later sessions how he was feeling and if he was feeling any negative side effects. 
He asked about your cat. About how your favorite show was going. If the movie you were looking forward to has come out yet. If your favorite restaurant down the street from your apartment was still closed for renovations. 
Eventually, enough time had passed that you relaxed. You stopped keeping your eyes trained on his hands. You stopped worrying yourself sick about his body language. You focused on his treatments and his mental health. 
If he was going to hurt me he would have done so by now, you thought to yourself after your latest session with Tord. He was doing so much better than he had been doing six months ago. It seemed as if you were really making a difference, helping him improve. 
It had been three months since he last fought another patient. Two months since he assaulted another doctor. And five months since he refused treatment of any kind. 
You step outside the building and take a deep breath. A dopey smile sticks to your face as you walk to your car. Becoming a doctor was the best choice you’ve ever made. Nothing was more rewarding than helping people. Not even this cloudy weather could bring you down. 
In fact, nothing tried to drag your mood down. There was no traffic on the way home. Some asshole hadn’t parked in your assigned parking spot again in the parking lot of your apartment. And your sweet cat hadn’t knocked his little box over again. 
You happily reheat your leftovers and watch tv for a while before you get ready for bed. Unfortunately, your mood does come crashing down. 
In the middle of the night, thunder wakes you. You jolt up, scrambling for your phone. Your hands come up empty. Shit, you think. I left it charging in the kitchen. Ugh. Oh well, you don’t need to look at your phone to see it is late and storming. 
Another loud sound booms through your apartment. Only this time, it sounds like a crash. 
“It’s just thunder,” you tell yourself. “Nothing to be afraid of.” You lay back down. Your eyes shut and you’re just about drifting to sleep when your door creeks open. 
You bolt up, knowing damn well that your cat can’t open doors and you freeze. 
Your heart races as your mind tries to process just who was in front of you. 
“Tord?” you whimper, hands shaking. But that can’t be. That was impossible. He was supposed to be sleeping soundly in his room with the soundproof headphones you got him. He didn’t like storms. The thunder reminded him too much of gunshots and made him restless. 
Useless information floods your brain. 
“I’m home, sweetheart,” he rasps. His grin is soft in the moonlight. He reaches over to flick on your bedroom light. 
He’s gentle he’s kind he’s sweet he’s-
He’s covered in blood.
Tord steps forward and you’re frozen in bed. His eyes are wild as they drink you in. There’s blood on his hands. In his hair. Splatters on his face. 
“Oh honey how I’ve dreamed of this,” he croons at the foot of your bed. “Your apartment is just as cute as you described.” 
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bunny-lily · 2 days
Text
Tether Me - Chapter 2
Pairing(s): Geto/Gojo/Reader
Summary: “Hey! Didn’t keep you waitin’ too long, did we?”
“No, not long,” you assured, fighting hard to keep your eyes off his friend for however long possible, vainfully clinging to your sanity. You knew that as soon as you centered your vision on him, your ability for conscious thought would evaporate. 
You wanted to present yourself as at least marginally normal as a first impression, though you doubted you were achieving that by avoiding the obvious third presence. You were surely coming off as rude, you really should–
“This one's Geto Suguru,” Gojo introduced the noiret by his side, nipping your overthinking at the bud.
At last, your full attention was guided to him.
Oh.
Oh. That was a mistake.
CW: No y/n | polyamory | slow burn | slice of life | alt au - no curses | fluff | light angst | eventual smut | forgive me, there's internal monologues | I like using big words... | Gojo & Geto are whipped for you | emotionally constipated reader | (most of the tags have been condensed, you can find the full list on my ao3 here)
AN: there's a couple mentions of emotional eating (in thoughts). Degrading words towards self (slut, whore, etc) but not self-degrading. I think that's it? Lemme know if I missed something, it's 5:50 am at time of posting and I am eepy, so I'm sorry if I did ♥
Ch: Prologue | Ch: 1 | Ch: 2
WC: 12.9k
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The scent of something marvelously delicious wafting through the air had you groggily rolling over from your stomach to your back in bed, stretching your arms above you and practically vibrating the way a cat would as you eased away any sleep-induced tension from your muscles.
You honestly hadn’t slept that well in a long while. You were bleary-eyed, sure, but refreshed. You didn’t have any heavy bags under your eyes, you didn’t experience any nightmares of being hunted. Just calm, good, dreamless sleep.
As much as you wanted to laze around in bed all day, though, the watering of your mouth couldn’t go ignored. Or the rumble in your stomach, for that matter.
With a sleepy groan and big, feline-like yawn to match your stretch, you shuffled out of bed and rubbed the crusties from your eyes as you pulled on some comfortable clothes. Hell if you knew what you were going to do for the day, you could figure that out after you sated your appetite.
You were downright drooling when you left your room to do your morning routine and groused like a toddler that didn’t want to brush her teeth before devouring her weight in breakfast. But you were a grown ass woman that quite preferred to have good hygiene, thank you very much. The intoxicating call of sustenance would have to wait until after you scrubbed your face and polished your teeth to perfection.
Catching sight of yourself in the mirror made you choke when you saw how chaotic the nest of hair on your head was. You felt like a cartoon character that got zapped, your tresses sticking in every direction. 
You must have slept really well, then.
You combed your fingers through the messy strands, trying to smooth the misbehaving locks. It took some effort to tame them into a somewhat presentable fashion, which was the most you cared to do when you were dying to eat already.
Your eyes flickered towards the remaining bottles you left on the sink countertop from last night and you nearly lost your shit.
Just what did Satoru put Ijichi through to get you high end skin products like these? And in such a short amount of time? You guessed the poor man broke a few speeding laws to get these in time for you to use. That, or maybe Satoru had informed him earlier, when you initially agreed to take him up on his offer to stay at his place. Or he already had them and was keeping them around for this kind of situation? Did he use the same brand?
Well, whatever. You were going to use those zealously, so help you god.
And, by the heavens above and seas below, they were fucking incredible. Your face was baby-skin soft. Lustrous, dewy, you were glowing, and certainly felt like it, too. You couldn’t stop touching your cheeks and forehead, they were just so smooth. 
No wonder rich people always had the clearest skin. If you had these while growing up, you never would have had to deal with getting acne in your teens and into your adulthood.
So fucking unfair.
Lamenting how Satoru was born with a silver spoon in his mouth while you were robbed by the universe, you followed the delectable wisps of the tasty aroma in the air like a drunk cupid with tiny wings and a dazed veneer on your face. There you found the man himself in the kitchen, humming an unfamiliar song to himself.
You continued to be baffled that he knew how to cook. It seemed almost unnatural, in a way. He was the prime example of a rich boy that you could find reclining on a poolside chair, hands behind his head as a servant hand fed him grapes. Yet here he was, cooking away, an apron tied around his neck and waist (with frills and little hearts, too, the flashy ass). You wouldn’t be surprised if it had ‘Kiss the Chef’ written across the front and oh, would you look at that, you were right.
“Goooood morning!” Satoru exclaimed, turning away from the stove to greet you. The apron was even flashier than you thought. For fuck’s sake, it had sequins on it. “How’d you– whoa. Nevermind, your hair answers that question.”
You subconsciously tried to flatten down your frizzy tangles once more, grumbling and pulling your gaze away from the atrocious fabric covering his chest that you would totally wear as well, gods, it was horrific. Your morning hair never liked to cooperate with you. “Morning.”
Yawning against the back of your hand, you climbed onto one of the barstools at the kitchen island and veered your body to the side, trying to see what he was cooking around his arm. It smelled sweet, the kind of sweet that was almost enough to make you nauseous, but wouldn’t actually cross that line. Kind of like dessert after you’ve filled yourself to bursting with dinner.
“What are you making? It smells really good,” you said.
“Pancakes!” He exclaimed, sliding an already finished plate to you, soufflé pancakes stacked high atop, drizzled in chocolate and syrup. He even added fruit slices in an arch around the back, just to make it extra fancy.
Someone had a sweet tooth, it seemed. That, and it was obvious he was trying to show off his culinary skills, having the perfect reason to do so now.
But who were you to point that out? You were getting free food, and not even for the first time! Of course you were going to stuff yourself sick with these. Because, honestly, they did look incredible. You would have felt bad about devouring such art if your stomach wasn’t going nuts. 
“Wow, these smell amazing,” you said, scooping up a bite with the fork he passed you. You admired it, tilting it a few degrees in the light, then chomped down on it. 
The noise you made was downright unholy. Straight to the Second Circle with you, don’t even think about looking at the pearly gates of Heaven.
“Fuuuuck,” you keened as you immediately shoved another piece into your mouth. You savored the delectable meal with chubby cheeks, letting the sugary and fluffy delight overtake your senses. “This is so fuckin’ good.”
He cackled at your reaction as he finished cooking and styling up his own plate, ditching the eye-bleedingly ugly apron, and you realized a trice too late that you just stroked his ego considerably. “I didn’t know you could make those kinds of sounds,” he quipped. The sunlight pouring through a nearby window caught the lenses of his glasses when he slid into the seat beside you, making them glint the same way his eyes would if you could see them unobstructed. “Makes me wonder what other noises you can make.”
You almost choked on the pancake you were greedily wolfing down.
Okay, he was not allowed to say things like that while you were eating. And especially not in that voice, the one that lowered a couple octaves and had you squirming in your seat. Barely 10 minutes into the morning and you were already struggling to keep your composure around him.
You swallowed down your food stiffly and patted your sternum with a wee cough. “You’re going to be the death of me.”
“I’m not opposed to that.”
“You promised you’d let me use your hot spring first.”
“I can be patient!” Exclaimed the man who very much could not be patient.
You deadpanned, but your lips quivered as you tried to restrain a grin. “Somehow, I doubt that.”
He moped like he was told he couldn’t go to the park today. “You’re so mean to me. How could you? And right after I graciously agreed to house you, too.” Wow, he wasn’t kidding about not letting you live that down.
To make up for it and bring the whiny baby back into a good mood, you let him have a few bites of your food, and he lit up like a damn firework, scarfing them down without a second thought. He had this sort of boyish charm that was difficult to resist in a way that made you want to tease and taunt him endlessly. His statuesque features certainly aided his charisma. 
“By the way,” Gojo began, speaking around a piece of syrup-covered strawberry from his own dish. “There’s someone I want to introduce to you later. You’ll like him.”
You gave him a sidelong glance. Was this the second ‘someone’ Granny mentioned the day before? You shuddered at the thought of dealing with two Satoru’s. You barely knew the first one, and he was already a handful and a menace. You chewed quickly and swallowed to answer.
“Is he anything like you?” You asked, doing your best to be ladylike and eat the way a normal person would. You weren’t really succeeding.
He grinned wide. “He’s the best! Second to me, of course.”
“That does not answer my question,” you pointed an accusatory fork at him.
“Pshh, don’t worry. He’s cool. Well, not as cool as me, but very close.”
That still didn’t answer your question. More so, it put you on edge. You were already mentally preparing to get acquainted with this potential twin, doppelgänger, and/or clone.
“Can you at least tell me his name?”
“Geto Suguru,” he responded.
Geto Suguru, huh?
Same initials as Gojo Satoru. Same amount of syllables, too.
You were so fucked, weren’t you? 
The thought of having two copies of the gremlin beside you had you preemptively putting your hands on your nape to ease the tension. Figuratively, but possibly literally, depending on if height was something they shared.
“Alright,” you said. “When do you want me to meet him?”
“Oh, the time will come, you shouldn’t worry your pretty little head.”
Well, if that wasn’t the most cryptic shit that definitely had you worrying your pretty little head. Asshole, he was doing that on purpose, confirmed by that cunning expression he had as he observed you with his temple resting on his fist, elbow on the counter. He liked toying with you.
You narrowed your eyes at him. “Don’t look at me like that.”
He raised his brows. “Like what?”
“Like you’re planning some shit.”
Satoru pressed his fingers to his chest, feigning innocence. “Why, I’d never!”
He was absolutely planning some shit. All you could really do now was brace yourself for whatever was to come, though you were certain that no amount of readying yourself would keep you from getting swept off your feet. “I’ve got my eye on you.”
That was the wrong thing to say, considering he fucking swooned and tipped over, resting his head on your shoulder and closing his eyes, sighing like a schoolgirl. “I knew you thought I was handsome.”
You gave a long-suffering exhale and poked his cheek. “I said no such thing.”
“Yeah, but you looked it.”
“The hell does that even mean?”
“Just keep your eyes on me, pretty baby,” he directed and sat back up, reaching for his fork. “What’s on the agenda for you today?” He asked as he scooped up the rest of the syrup on his plate with the last bite of his food.
You coughed to cover your blush, grateful for the topic change. “Well, I guess take stock of all I’ll need to do with my house. I got a job at Granny’s store, so I’ll start working there in a few days.”
“Shit, really?” He gaped at you. “That fast?”
You nodded around your final piece of pancake, closing your eyes to savor the sublime flavor. You’d have to make him teach you to cook like that sometime, too.
A ‘whooh’ sound left him. “Impressive.”
“It’s weird,” you said. “Everything’s worked out so far, and I’ve barely been here for two and a half days. I’m getting suspicious.”
“Why?”
Your shoulders lifted and dropped. “Seems too good to be true. Gotta stay on my toes, y’know?”
Satoru ruffled your hair as he stood to stack your empty plates into the dishwasher. “You think too much, sweetheart.”
You crossed your arms over your chest. “Let me be paranoid.”
“You’ll just give yourself worry lines like that,” he cautioned, returning to press his index finger between your brows, “riiiight here. You gotta relax, princess. Chill out, do something fun.”
It was hard to, after spending so many years escaping metaphorical ghosts. Old habits die hard, you supposed.
He was right, you could really use a break from non-stop wariness. This was supposed to be a fresh start, after all. You washed your slate, unmarked of everything on purpose, keeping next to nothing but your name and the clothes on your back. No contacts, nobody waiting for you somewhere, no responsibilities or obligations holding you back. Who knew how long you’d get the chance to let go like this? Might as well take advantage of it.
You weren’t sure what would qualify as ‘fun’ here, but you were a new sprout, after all. What better way than to learn firsthand?
“Alright,” you agreed. “Recommend anything?”
“Hmm,” he lolled his head side to side. “Go to the bakery. It’s not far from Granny’s store, a couple streets north. Hard to miss, it’s got a big sign. We saw it on the way to Granny’s yesterday.”
You scratched through your memory, trying to remember exactly where it was. You had a fuzzy idea, but the benefit of living in such a small locale was that it wouldn’t be too difficult to find. “Will do, thanks. I’ll go after I check out my place first. I’ll need the emotional support after that.”
“Fair enough, I saw why,” he chortled. Oh, the exterior was nothing compared to the interior, sweet summer child. “You want a ride there?”
You considered it, then shook your head. “Nah, it’d be better for me to walk there to get more familiar with the town.”
“You sure?” He raised a brow, a teasing, lazy smirk crawling up his lips. “Won’t get lost?”
“Probably,” you snorted, “but experience is the best teacher, eh?”
He chuckled low in his throat. “If you do get lost, don’t be afraid to call me. I’ll be your prince in shining armor.” 
You made a ‘pffft’ noise and glared at him. He just smiled back like the dork he was. “It’s knight in shining armor.”
“Prince is better. I’m not some lowly knight.”
Drama queen. “Alright, whatever you say, prince. I’ll see you–” In the midst of slipping off the stool to get ready to leave, you stopped, remembering a key piece of information. “Hey,” you spoke up, rotating to scrutinize him with a squint. “How did you know my back door doesn’t have a lock?”
He shrugged nonchalantly. “My friends and I would go there on dares when we were younger. Believed it was haunted, dumb kid shit, you know how it goes.”
Oh.
That– yeah, that sounded way more plausible and understandable than whatever ghost stories about kidnappers and serial killers you came up with. But he still could have phrased it better than he did, he didn’t have to go creepy-mode to convince you to stay with him for the time being.
“Why?” He chortled. “Thought I was gonna kidnap ya?”
“Yes,” you replied automatically, scratching the spot behind your ear sheepishly. “Sorry about that.”
He snickered at your expense, bending down and lowering his voice into a rumbling murmur. “You never know. Maybe I will.”
“Har har,” you replied flatly. “Very funny.”
His lips curled further, eyes gleaming behind his shades. “Better keep your guard up, princess. Someone might just come and snatch you up when you least expect it.”
You scoffed as you swiveled and headed towards the front door. Satoru followed you in a way that reminded you of a puppy, or a mischievous cat, observing you as you tugged on your shoes. “I’m sure I’ll be fine. I can scream really loud.”
“And if they cover your mouth?”
“I bite,” you grinned toothily.
He crooned. “I’ll keep that in mind. You sure you don’t need a ride?”
“I’ll be fine,” you dismissed his uncertainty and double checked your purse as you put it on. “I’ll catch you later.”
“Ah, wait, before you go,” he halted you, reaching out to search through a bowl on the console table pushed up to the wall. After a second or two of digging around, he pulled out a key attached to a ring and held it out to you. “Here, in case nobody’s home when you get back.”
You took it from him and turned it over in your palm, evaluating its untarnished sheen. “Thanks,” you tucked it away safely into a pocket in your purse. “Is it new?”
“Just a spare,” he stuffed his hands into his pockets. “Put it to good use, yeah?”
“Sure,” you agreed.
He patted your head and you scowled at him. “I’ll be awaiting your call for when you need to be rescued.”
You stuck your tongue out at him as you opened the door and stepped out of it. “Dream on.”
His rolling laughter was the last thing you heard as you closed it behind you. The purity of the air awed you again. It was like a medium between you and nature, tickling every one of your senses. There was this certain liberating power in this valley, one that swelled behind your heart and spread out like hot tea on a cold winter morning.
It swirled in your stomach and radiated from your chest in time with your pulse, lulling and salving. Why had you never considered going to the countryside before? 
You were a city-hopper, bouncing from metropolitan hellscape to metropolitan hellscape, where the streets of downtown reeked of anything sickly, apartments were expensive to rent, and you only ever felt like a side character.
Restaurants there were always jam-packed, cafés were less of early day respites and more places of palpable depression. The bars were grimy and boozy, ear-piercingly loud and sweltering with the body heat of dozens of people pressed too tightly together, but at least they were good for one thing.
They were good for shutting down your brain. When it got too loud and too full, when the alcohol burned too much and the people were too touchy, that was when you went into autopilot and thrived in the bliss of silence created by the endless droning of the bass vibrating from your feet to your scalp. You hated liquor, just the thought of it made you queasy, but you craved the buzz it gave you back then.
You didn’t have that luxury now, but you didn’t need it. You hadn’t so much as thought about partaking in that vice since moving, actually. Had you known about the kind of life you could find here, you would have ditched the neon streets a long time ago.
The placidity of mostly untouched vegetation and of the tightly knit community provided a different kind of solace, one that distracted you with things far more interesting than paranoia and anxiety-driven overthinking.
You didn’t feel lost here. Not in the metaphorical sense. Literally had yet to be seen. It remained unfamiliar, but your panic had smoothed out from the first steps you had taken off the train. You could breathe without feeling like there were matches being held too close to your lungs, or needles aimed at your heart.
You didn’t hold onto hope, though. The pattern remained the same. Once you got used to this place, you’d hop on the next train and be on your less-than-merry way.
Will I ever stop running? You asked yourself frequently.
Nobody ever answered.
That’s alright. For now, you were okay. 
Choosing not to indulge in those ideologies, you followed the curving road back down the incline, noting that the car Ijichi had brought you in was gone. You’d need to find a way to thank him, as well as Granny. You didn’t like being indebted to people, especially if it put you at risk of getting tied down.
Satoru was a different problem entirely, since he was letting you live with him. Chores, rent, maybe another thing or two to keep the score level. You weren’t great on brainstorming ideas on how to return favors, but you’d figure it out. A good walk always helped make the creative juices flow.
You ruminated on who he wanted to introduce you to later, coming up with ideas about what he might be like. Hopefully a counterpart and not a duplicate, you weren’t sure how much you’d be able to handle if that was the case. 
If he was friends with Satoru, though, the likelihood of him driving you insane in one way or another was highly likely.
“I bet he’s disgustingly handsome, too,” you muttered cattily under your breath. “I’m gonna see him and the last brain cells I have are gonna explode.”
It didn’t help that you had no idea when you were going to meet this ‘Geto Suguru’. Would you have time to anchor yourself mentally? Would it be today, or a week from now? Could you even prepare at all?
Ugh.
Satoru was right, you thought too much.
As you roamed around, the shrine caught your eye once more, and you stopped to take it in. You hadn’t been to a shrine before – not this kind, anyway. The bigger ones in Tokyo didn’t count. You vaguely remembered how to pray, though you weren’t sure if you should. Paying respects, though, that was fine.
You nibbled on your bottom lip, debating. In the end, it wasn’t a hard choice. You would take any chance to procrastinate and delay facing the disaster awaiting you as much as you could. Except for the bakery Satoru recommended, you were saving that for after you made a plan for your house. You figured you’d want to stress eat afterwards to balm your troubled heart.
Besides, you weren’t sure if you’d have the time to visit after you got started on everything. You had a few days to use up, why not use them to check things out?
The trail leading up to it was easy to find, and though clearly well-traveled and requiring some exertion to traverse, it was clear that it was loved. The flowers on either side of the path were tended to with a compassionate hand, blooming and fragrant. You took a break on several occasions just to sniff a few, admiring them. 
Usually, you were picky about flowers. 
Most were less redolent and more bitterly pungent for you, such as roses. They were elegant, no doubt, but their scent always bordered on perfume-y in a way that reminded you more of an old folks’ home rather than pleasant and subtle beauty. Generally, florid notes made your face scrunch up like you ate something unexpectedly sour.
These flowers were just right, though. They still had those floral undertones, of course, but presented salubrious and fruity essences atop it. It made you mull over why every other flower you smelled before wasn’t palatable. 
Soon, the shrine entrance was in clear view. You traced your finger along the edge of a petal one last time before standing up from your squatting position and making your way over to it. The tower itself was mostly vertical in terms of size, decently small in contrast to the typically larger ones scattered about Japan, but it fit in perfectly with everything else here.
There were two stone benches on either side of the archway leading in, pressed up to the sturdy cobblestone foundation, and lanterns situated at the corners of both, reminding you of a few animated movies with similar designs you’d seen in the past. They were slightly shaded, turned a few degrees away from the sun, and you imagined it would be nice to read there and watch the sun fall asleep beyond the horizon.
The doors were open, guarded by dog-like statues, a bit crudely carved out. Satoru had mentioned it was a shrine dedicated to the wolves that used to roam the mountains, so the statues were likely meant to resemble them. You were curious about the interior, wanting to see the altar up close, since each place of prayer had their own uniquely made one, but the sight of a person clad in white and red kneeling in front of said altar within had you nixing that idea. You could do it another time.
She must have noticed your approach as her head lifted and she peeked partially over her shoulder. She rose up and rotated to face you, and you withheld your exasperation.
Right, this was just fucking ridiculous now, what the fuck.
Why was there another criminally attractive person in this godsforsaken valley? You got scammed, you wanted your money back. Everyone here was so out of your league, you felt like the dog that caught the baseball bat after it’s thrown rather than a player in the game. What, was there going to be an additional good-looking person, ready to knock the wind out of you?
Probably Geto.
If any of these people told you to get down on your knees and bark, you would have without question.
Seriously, why?
You should have been relishing existing in the presence of so many charming folks, but in reality, it just made you feel self conscious.
“Hello,” she greeted as she walked over to you, bringing you out of your internal raging monologue. “May I help you?”
“Oh,” you fluttered your lashes and stammered minutely, trying to recollect yourself. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to distract you. I just wanted to see the shrine.”
The shrine maiden’s lips tilted up politely. “You’re fine, don’t worry. Are you a tourist?”
“No,” you fidgeted with your thumb and index finger on your right hand. “I moved here recently. I’m checking around to get more acquainted with the area.”
Her brows rose a millimeter short of being comical. “Really? That’s surprising. Did one of the villagers leave that I didn’t know of?”
“Also no. I bought the house on the outskirts, uhh,” you twisted to scan behind you and pointed in the general direction of it. “That way.”
“That house? I thought they’d torn it down a long time ago. Why that one?”
You lowered your arm. “It was cheap. Gave me an excuse to move here properly.”
“I hope you’re not staying there, it’s dangerous,” she frowned, using a stern yet caring voice.
“I’m staying with Gojo Satoru while I fix it up.”
Immediately, the woman’s face twisted into a sneer of repulsion. Scorn shadowed over her honey-brown eyes, causing yours to widen as hers narrowed. “Run away while you still can,” she told you firmly. 
Well, that’s not worrisome at all.
What the hell did he do to her?
“What? Why?” Your brows furrowed.
She sighed as if the mere mention of Gojo had stripped a few years off her lifespan. “He’s the devil in disguise.”
Was anyone ever going to give you a straight answer about him? “Did he…do something?”
Her scorn turned to ire and agitation in a snap. “He’s so obnoxious! And arrogant, I can’t stand to be around him, he pisses me off to no end,” she downright snarled, heat rising to her cheeks from her anger. “He acts all high and mighty when he’s just a spoiled brat that refuses to respect his elders!”
“Oh–”
“Me!” She pointed harshly at herself. “I’m his elder! Well, I mean, not the only one, but still! He was raised like a golden child, given everything he wanted. He loooves getting on everyone’s nerves, especially mine. Get away from him or he’ll send you to an early grave, miss.”
You didn’t know what you were expecting when you came to view the shrine, but a rant from a peeved miko definitely wasn’t anywhere on your list of possibilities. His name alone sent her into a tailspin, and you would have regretted it if seeing her go off about the man wasn’t more entertaining than it had any right to be. You did feel bad, but madly interested, too.
“I…see,” you reacted stiltedly, stifling a laugh. “Are you, like, exes or something?”
She gaped at you as if you had informed her of her puppy’s passing. “What? No! Absolutely not! I– how could– never even mention–” She abruptly stopped herself, took a few intensely deep breaths to calm herself, then she was smiling kindly again as if nothing had happened. “Where are my manners? I’m Iori Utahime, a miko. It’s a pleasure to meet you. And you are?”
Left reeling from her unexpected 180 in demeanor, you stuttered out your own name in response, to which she nodded in approval.
“A lovely name. You said you moved here recently? How fun! What brought you to this valley?”
Satoru had several questions to answer for the next time you saw him. If you had a notepad and pen, you would have been writing them down like a P.I., bobbing your head with a solemn face as you asked Iori to recount her history of events.
“I came to study abroad in Tokyo a few years back, and fell in love with the country,” you said. “I’m not big on cities, though, so coming here seemed perfect.”
Maybe you were embellishing your story a bit, but in all fairness, you didn’t know her. Besides, clean slate; you had no story before this, why not paint one now that you had the freedom to?
You weren’t going to whip up some grand tale about how you were this astonishingly intelligent, leading programmer in your country that did impressive work for science (that was your mother), but it didn’t hurt to fib the truth a small amount. The part about studying abroad was true, anyway.
She appraised you with an interested visage. “I see, I see. Where are you originally from?”
Man, people loved asking that, huh?
It’s not like you could blame them, you’d do the same in their place. You were a foreigner, they were going to treat you like one.
“Ah,” you told her of your place of origin. “It’s nothing special. I mostly traveled.”
“Oh? How did you make money?”
“Freelance,” you answered. “Odd jobs here and there, enough to keep myself afloat. Have you traveled before, Iori-san?” 
You could see the overjoyed spark in her eyes that someone was finally respecting her. “Only within the country,” she responded, somewhat somber. “I’ve always wanted to see what it’s like outside Japan.”
You tilted your head back to see the sky and think of suggestions. What do the stars look like here? “Depends on where you go. Some places are very packed and have lots of things to do no matter where you go, like Europe. Other places are more sparse, like the States.”
“But the States have more people,” the woman pointed out.
“Yeah,” you confirmed, “but that country is massive and people there tend to group into major cities, rather than be spread out. California is technically bigger than the entirety of Japan, but has way less people.”
Her eyes bulged in surprise. “Really?”
“Yep. It’s why you might hear Westerners say ‘there’s nothing to do here’,” you glanced at the structure behind her. “You guys revere wolves here, right?”
Utahime clapped her hands twice eagerly. “That’s correct! How’d you know?”
Based on her reaction to you merely mentioning Satoru, you figured it’d be best if you didn’t tell her the source of your information. “I’ve heard about it. I was curious, I haven’t been to a smaller shrine like this one before. Only the bigger ones in Tokyo, but those were part of my assignments, rather than for leisure.”
“Oh, it’s not much,” she espied at it from over her shoulder, but you could see the pride in her eyes. It was well taken care of, with love and chariness. It easily passed off as something constructed more recently, given its meticulous maintenance.
“How long ago was it built?”
“Around the same time the settlers first came here.”
This time, your eyes were the ones that opened wide. It had to have been at least 350 years old in that case, based on a rough estimate. “That far back? Wow, it’s in seriously good shape.”
The woman puffed up her chest. “Though the wolves have long since died out here, we still honor them. They helped us with hunts and allowed this village to thrive when we needed it most. They protected us from cursed spirits, as well. It’s only right we treat them and the bounties they’ve given us with respect.”
Oh, there was that term again: cursed spirits. “Could you tell me more about cursed spirits?”
Enthusiasm bubbled up in her the way it would in a child about to tell their parents about the story they wrote up. She skipped over to one of the stone benches and plopped down onto it, patting the spot beside her. You slid onto it, a chill shooting up your spine from the cold temperature. Being shaded from the sun made the rock gelid, go figure.
“Now! Let’s start from the beginning as we know it,” she cleared her throat and took on the role of a teacher. “The origin of cursed spirits and jujutsu sorcery as a whole is largely unknown. It’s speculated that spirits have lived alongside humanity from the beginning of it, as cursed energy is formed by negative emotions, and cursed energy is what spirits are born from.”
She was very animated when teaching, you noticed. Lots of hand movements, facial expressions, and a bouncy attitude to boot. It made for a very entertaining show, and did well to keep you engaged.
“Curses were invisible to humans. Only a select few could see them, and even fewer could actively interact with them in some way or another,” she continued. “Smaller curses would typically leech off of people without them knowing it, feeding off their bad emotions. Stronger curses, however, could be incredibly powerful. Sometimes to the point of standard weapons being completely useless against them, which is why jujutsu sorcery came to fruition. We needed some way to fight back against the spirits, so we developed a way to do just that by manipulating the natural reserves of cursed energy we had within us.”
Folklore from other countries always captivated you. From the creator of mankind in some Chinese mythos named Nüwa, to the counterpart of the equivalent of Santa in Germany, the origin of Halloween and turnip lanterns – even the oddly terrifying ones without nefarious intentions, like Mari Lwyd.
You adored hearing about legends, stories, and tales passed down through oral and written history over the centuries of life existing in each respective land. To say she had you hooked would be an understatement.
What were curses like? Assuming they were real, of course, and that jujutsu sorcery didn’t follow the same ideology as hanging witches. Were they ugly? Bipedal? Humanoid at all? 
“Many natural disasters are blamed on curses, even to this day,” she began lifting her fingers as she counted off a few examples. “Earthquakes, tsunamis, droughts. Pretty much anything you can think of.”
“Were they kinda like demons?”
“Eh,” she tilted her hand side to side a few times. “Yes and no. Depends on who you ask, really. They could be different from demons of hell, or they could be one and the same.”
“I see,” you pinched your chin. “So, where’d they go, then?”
She grasped one of her pigtails, running her fingers through the open and loose portion at the top of it. “Nobody really knows. Some think that sorcerers were able to eradicate them at the source, and died off since they weren’t needed anymore. It could be that the curses have simply lost power due to the progression of mankind, and particularly therapy, though it’s…still kind of taboo. Some claim they’re still around, we just don’t notice because we aren’t able to see any of it.”
Satoru’s words on the matter echoed in your mind. ‘Even if they are real, there's no way they'd beat me.’
You bit your cheek to hold back an unwitting snicker. Leave it up to Satoru to say some brazen shit and have it pop up in your head at random.
“What about you? What do you think?” You asked.
Utahime flicked a piece of invisible dirt off the front of her hakama. “I believe they exist. It’s part of why I’m a miko, and one of the reasons I maintain this shrine. It’s my duty. Curses may not be the same now as they were back then, but that’s no reason for me to slack off. Complacency breeds contempt.”
It was heartwarming, in a way, to see someone still holding onto traditions like these, working to keep her friends, family, and home safe, upholding the rules within and outside places of prayer. You admired her for it.
Not that you would personally want to be a shrine maiden, but you held them in high esteem nonetheless.
“And you?” She peered at you. “Do you believe in the supernatural?”
You closed your eyes for a moment, stretching your legs in front of you and idling back on your hands. “I’m agnostic, neither here nor there. I respect spaces that are considered sacred, I’d rather not get hexed, but I don’t go out of my way to hunt down, let’s say, ghosts.”
“I commend you, many could stand to learn a thing or two from you,” as she spoke, she stood up and brushed off the back of her kosode. “You are good company, though I fear I should get back to work soon.”
“Ah,” you got up as well and bowed to her. “Thank you for sharing your stories with me, Iori-san. I’m sorry for disturbing you.”
She waved her hand. “You didn’t, don’t worry. Come visit me again soon, okay? I’d love to hear stories of your travels as well.”
“Sure,” promised easily, more than content to exchange tales with her. “Stay safe.”
“Likewise,” the noirette disappeared back into the shrine with a final word of parting, leaving you to your devices.
While you didn’t get to see the altar inside, you considered the visit worthwhile, and got a new acquaintance out of it, too. You could come back to check it out another day.
Having burned through all the reasonable amount of procrastination time you allowed yourself, you voyaged back down the path, appreciating the blooms the whole way down the same way you had when you went the other way. You had to ask Utahime if she was the one tending to them next time you saw her.
You were proud to say that you only got lost twice. But you did find the bakery on the way, and memorized where it was once you located the path home. Not bad, not bad at all. You managed to find your way around, and you didn’t need to embarrass yourself by calling Satoru to come to your rescue.
It’s sad how low your standards for happiness had fallen, but you’d take any crumb of serotonin you could find.
You noticed the trip to your house was shorter whenever you actively didn’t want to go there, as if it was a living creature that purposefully made you arrive faster, just so you had to give it attention.
It stood, looming, mocking you. Taunting you, the monstrosity. What an asshole.
The outside matters came first, the less time you had to spend inside, the better. You pulled up the notes app on your phone and began the task of drafting everything you needed to deal with, denoting it as the ‘Outdoor’ section in your native tongue.
Fence, you typed down, scribbling sporadic thoughts as you went. Tear down? Repair? Replace?
You checked the ends and noted that the fence only went back about halfway into your property, leaving the back uncovered. Covers only front. Built like that? Collapsed/removed in the back? 
You felt the stalks of yellow-ish green leafage with your palm, the tips reaching your hips. Cut down grass and weeds. You should plant pollinator flowers if the yard was ever cleared out well enough. It’d be nice to have some butterflies and bees around to help everything grow nice and healthy. 
You lightly nudged a piece of a busted plant pot with the toe of your shoe. Dispose of broken pots. A slight stumble had you leering down to see a strangely shaped tile. You tilted your head in confusion, then peered up at the edge of the roof, deducing it was a shingle that had fallen off. You stepped further away from the roof, just in case. And fallen & loose shingles.
Rounding the side, you waded through the overgrown flora, poring over the condition of the rundown house’s environment. Remove ivy from walls. Set up trellises. Lattices to form a backyard/patio/garden/thing?
Angling your chin up, you placed your hand over your forehead and assessed the roof. From on the ground, you wouldn’t be able to completely acknowledge the damage done to it over the years it sat untouched, but you were reluctant to climb on it to see first hand. You didn’t have a ladder, for starters, and you liked having unbroken bones and working shins. 
Get a ladder.
The back of the estate was in the same condition as everything else. Which is to say, disheartening. 
“What’ve I got myself into…” You muttered.
You spotted a narrow garden plot built into the back of the house. Overgrown, yes, but it’d be perfect for planting stuff when you got it all cleared up.
It wasn’t a question of ‘if’, unfortunately. You had no other real choice besides mending what was left in your hands.
You were still miffed at the real estate agent. You likely wouldn’t have purchased this piece of land had you known what was ahead. Or if you were in a better state of mind, honestly, rather than being in the middle of your fight-or-flight phase of living.
“No good dwelling on the past,” you whispered to yourself as you circled back to the front. “Can’t change it now.”
You took a deep, long, full breath, enjoying the fresh and crisp air while you still could. You savored the temperate hints of nature and the clement weather, treating it like it would be your last time experiencing such comfort. You didn’t know if your nostrils (or you) would survive the excursion into hell you were about to go on, so you weren’t risking taking the breeze for granted.
Exhaling all in one big puff, you steeled your shoulders and pushed open your front door, your free hand covering your nose in anticipation. Replace hinges and/or front door.
It managed to punch you in the gut regardless. 
New section in your notes open, you got to work typing. The most obvious issues came first, such as the floors, the peeling walls, and exposed boning and pipes. A lot would possibly need to be replaced, such as the counters in the kitchen, cupboards…
Floor rotted(?) and sticky. Wash?
Spackle for holes in walls? New drywall instead?
Check insulation.
Your spirits fell more and more with each additional item of note you wrote onto the list. Could any of this be salvaged? Were you better off tearing it down?
Remove tatami. Replace? Don’t?
Stepping into what you assumed was the master bedroom, you made your way over to the sleeping bag you left behind and cautiously rolled it up, maneuvering around the grime stuck to it, and placed it against a corner. You’d toss it when you got the chance to.
M-bed closet missing doors and shelf.
Seeing the window, you tip-toed to it, hoping to open it to air out the room. Your nose formed bunny lines at the cobwebs littering the sill and edges. While there weren’t any spiders – as far as you could see – you still did not enjoy touching them in the slightest.
Pushing up from the center of the window proved to be futile, the frame wasn’t going to be budging anytime soon.
Windows stuck.
Remove spider webs.
There was litter here and there – torn pieces of paper, a ripped open baggie, fabric – that you decided to leave as is. Along with not having gloves to pry them off the ground, you didn’t have anything to throw them away into. They got to live another day.
Toss out trash.
The shower and bathroom had a cupboard tucked off to the side, but opening it showed the middle platform separating the top and bottom within was crumbly and would break if you put any weight on it.  Replace shelf in bathroom cupboard.
The tiles were all fucked up, too. Some were chipped, others were outright broken or missing. Rust had gathered around the tap and drain in the tub, likely from years of having a leaky faucet before it ran out of water to drip.
Clean out rust in bath/pipes. Throw away broken floor tiles. Replace.
You pulled the left handle of the sink faucet and waited for a few seconds to see if the plumbing was functional.
Which was a big, fat no.
Plumbing. Faucets.
Limescale on shower head, wall tiles.
You scrolled through what notes you had already created and chewed on the corner of your bottom lip, thinking of what else you might have needed to write down. You fixated blankly on the wall in front of you as you went over everything, then quickly typed out a few more things.
Electricity.
Check for asbestos, lead in paint.
You figured the tasks you needed to do would pop up as you went along, considering your notes to be a simple skeleton outline. You could jot down other things as needed, and work through them one by one.
Having done as much as possible while staying inside for as long as you could tolerate, you walked back outside and dug around in your purse for the piece of paper Granny had given you, the one with names and numbers of people that could help you in this endeavor.
To say you were beginning to panic would be an understatement. You already bought the damn thing, and doubted you’d be able to resell it and get all your money back. You also didn’t want to subject anyone to repairing the thing when it was both a health hazard and an embarrassment. 
You had some reserve money, but it wasn’t a whole lot, so you required that job Granny gave you.
Gojo said you could stay with him for however long you needed, but that was with the expectation that you’d leave once your house was fixed up. Given the village’s size, it was unlikely that you would find another place within it to live in, even after saving up some money working for Granny. You didn’t want to piggy-back off anyone and be an imposition; the only reason you felt less guilty about staying with the moon-haired idiot was due to the sheer amount of space he had in his mansion.
You were swiftly running out of options.
Your lips paled as you pressed them tightly together, trying to wrack your mind for ideas. You couldn’t sell it, and you didn’t want to deal with the humiliation of having strangers work for you. In such a small town, word spread like fire on a dry wick. Who knows what they would say about you?
Realistically, it wasn’t your fault, you knew this. The house hadn’t been built under your name and, hell, was likely older than you by at least a decade or two. It didn’t fall to ruin because of you, but you were the owner of this house now, the responsibility rested on your shoulders.
You read through the list of handymen under your thumb, the paper shaking slightly from the death grip you had on it.
Repairing it on your own was technically an option, but you would be basically begging for severe injuries or even death by attempting that. You wouldn’t even know where to start. Foundation? Floors? Structure? Roof? You didn’t fucking know how to do any of that shit!
…Or you could just burn the damn eyesore to the ground ‘til there was naught but ashes left.
No, that was a stupid idea, but you were out of any good ones.
The thought you had previously of tearing it down and buying a garden shed to reside in was feeling more and more tempting by the hour. It was unreasonable, you knew, you simply…didn’t know what you were supposed to do.
You were used to doing things alone. You relied solely on yourself, trusted only your own words and intentions. Letting people in was not something you did for many reasons. Maybe you did crave closeness and camaraderie at some point in the distant past, but the concept was out of the question entirely now. It made uncomfortable butterflies sit heavy in your stomach, the urge to vanish into the treelines and never be seen again increasing with each extraneous person you invited into your life.
You sighed. “I should have just moved into the woods and turned into a witch,” you grumbled low, then scoffed sardonically. “Right, as if I wouldn’t accidentally poison myself with a weird mushroom on day three and die a horrible, painful, slow death.”
The two lists you had remained in your somewhat reluctant hands. You knew you were way in over your head, and you’d probably unintentionally curse the house sooner than you managed to make a positive change, but…you weren’t used to asking for help. Always the type to manage shit on your own, get things done yourself, be independent. Could you really be faulted for having a hard time reaching out to anyone else?
Especially since you hadn’t even met any of them yet. That would be disconcerting, asking folks you’d never seen – let alone spoken to – before to work for you.
Your phone singed your fingers. You did know someone, and knew that he was just a phone call away, but did you really want to deal with him of all people? He would take this chance to rub it all in your face and then some.
You carefully weighed your choices.
Rebuild the house yourself with no former experience with anything beyond shitty popsicle stick bird huts.
Call someone on the list, explain your situation, and ask for help.
Call the prick.
…By the gods, you really hated making calls to people you didn’t know.
Shamefully carping to yourself, you dialed Satoru’s number, trying to ignore the contact name he had set up for himself. It was so glitzy, the ✨❤️ Satoru ❤️✨ sitting at the top of the call screen making you stifle a short laugh, ironically lifting your spirits. “Here goes nothing…”
He answered within three rings. “Yo, been a while, princess” Satoru purred as if you hadn’t seen him that morning, and you rolled your eyes, despite not being there in person for him to see.
“You greet every girl like that?”
“Nope, just you,” you could hear his grin. “Whatcha need?”
Now came the part where you set aside your pride and voiced what you very much did not want to. Again. You’d known this man for barely 24 hours and he already had several wins over you. In…whatever game you decided you were losing. “Look, I…I need your help.”
“Oho? What’s this? Is the princess finally admitting how much she misses me?” 
Smug dick.
“I did not say that,” you immediately berated him.
He simply hummed, unaffected. “Same thing.”
You ran your hand down your face, already exasperated just 30 seconds into the call. “You– ugh, just, can you help me or not?”
“Depends on what you need, sugar plum. Did ya get lost already?”
This man was going to be the cause of your madness. The bridge of your nose ached where you pinched it. “Granny gave me a list of people to call to help me with my house and I really don’t want to call any of them.”
“Then don’t.” 
“And, what, do everything by myself?”
You could envision him shrugging. “Why not? I could help you.”
“Satoru, I trust a wild forest fire more than I trust you with a hammer.”
“Ouch,” he sucked air through his teeth, faux whimpering. “You’re such a bully. Fine, I’ll help you with contacting everyone.”
Oh, that took less fighting and groveling than you expected. You exhaled in relief. “Thank you–”
“On,” he interrupted you, “one condition.”
There it is.
Your skin began to sting as you dug your nails harder into it, leaving curved indents between your eyes. “Y’know what, I think I’ll be fine–”
“Ah-ah-ah, hang on a second there, pretty girl. Hear me out.”
Conceding, you sighed and urged him to make his request. “Fine, what is it?”
"Cook something for me,” he requested. “Consider it evening the score.”
Your face scrunched up into a question mark. “Wait, that’s it?
“What, do you want it to be more?”
“No, no, I can do that,” you quickly declined, biting on the edge of your thumbnail as you tried to think of something to prepare for him. “Do you have any preferences?”
“Sweets.”
Sweet stuff. Okay, you could work with that. You could bake some pretty killer macarons. You didn't know what ingredients he had at home, or how to operate his oven, but you'd just figure it out, right?
“Alright, I can do that,” you answered.
“We have a deal, then?”
You took a moment to consider. You could back out, but your introverted personality made that notion null. It was only baking, too, rather than the ghastly demand you were expecting him to make. Baking it is. “Deal.”
“Great! We’ll be over in a flash!~”
“Okay–” wait. “‘We’–?”
He hung up before you could ask. You groaned and contemplated smashing your phone against the ground, but decided against it. You needed the thing, unfortunately.
Since you had to wait for however long, you chose to add in some thoughts to what you’d already written down, brainstorming how you wanted to proceed. It was difficult to tell at this stage, before you started on anything. But you could pick out what you might want to plant; flowers, vegetables, a fruit tree or two. So what if you were fantasizing? It helped keep you calm. Escapism was a valid coping mechanism.
It was too hard to picture anything given the state of the house, though. You’d need to snip down the field first and go from there, when you could see everything clearly.
How much did contractor services cost in Japan? What about the people Granny knew, how much did they charge? What kind of services did they provide? Your toe tapped repeatedly as you stepped outside your fence, trying not to pace.
Would you need one, or multiple? Were you going to have to get materials from the nearby city by yourself, or would they do that? If the former, how?
“I need an adult,” you lamented, your shoulders slouching and arms folding over your chest. “I wanna die. I’m not mature enough for this shit.”
You recalled what your mother told you often when you were younger: ‘not everything at once.’
Easier said than done. Sleep on it, one step at a time, break it down into shorter tasks, nothing was taking the edge off your stress.
“I’ll just start with the grass,” you muttered, eventually succumbing to the need to pace. “I have to start somewhere, and I’ll need to get rid of that before anything else can be done. Oh, but, fuck, there’s so much of it…not to mention debris, rocks…do they still make scythes? Can’t launch a pebble with a scythe. No, wait, that’d be so much more effort and take more time…”
A flicker of alabaster down the road caught your eye, halting your hurried back-and-forth roving and hushed bleating.
Satoru was always easy to spot from a distance. It was hard not to see him when his hair redirected the sun like a mirror, blinding anyone who saw him from the wrong angle. He was the angel on your shoulder with the personality of the devil, urging you to dive into your most heinous and blasphemous thoughts. The light bouncing off his head created a glowing aura around it, resembling a silver halo, further pushing that deceptive angel motif.
Would the halo turn gold in the light of the crimson rays of fading day?
You uncrossed your arms, ready to greet him, only to notice the man beside him. They were conversing, and the latter must have said something funny, as the former guffawed hysterically. It echoed off the mountains on either side of the valley, reaching you with no concern for distance. 
Did such bellows reach across the entire settlement, or was it localized, feeling louder than it actually was due to an echo chamber effect?
Gojo’s cachinnation dissipated when the pair were close enough to you, at which point he waved his hand high in the air to greet you avidly, like you weren’t only 20 feet from them.
“Hey! Didn’t keep ya waitin’ too long, did we?”
Truthfully, the fifteen or so minutes you had been waiting for them had gone by in a flash when you were so deeply buried in your spiraling thoughts while remembering dumb shit sprinkled into your internal ranting. The only evidence of your anticipation for their arrival being the barely present ache in your heels from where you rested most of your weight on them.
“No, not long,” you assured, fighting hard to keep your eyes off his friend for however long possible, vainfully clinging to your sanity. You knew that as soon as you centered your vision on him, your ability for conscious thought would evaporate. 
You wanted to present yourself as at least marginally normal as a first impression, though you doubted you were achieving that by avoiding the obvious third presence. You were surely coming off as rude, you really should–
“This one's Geto Suguru,” Gojo introduced the noiret by his side, nipping your overthinking at the bud.
At last, your full attention was guided to him.
Oh.
Oh. That was a mistake.
‘This one’ was breathtaking.
His midnight hair caught the sunlight in a scintillating iridescence that shifted between the deepest phthalo blue you’d ever seen and a mesmerizing sheen of violet when the light caught it just right, like the feathers of a raven. It struck you how glossy and luxuriously silky it was, and you wanted to pull it out of the high bun he kept it in to run your fingers through it endlessly. That one loose section of his bangs that hovered over his eye was just so cute, your digits itched to tug on it.
And, speaking of, those eyes. 
Sharp enough to cut diamonds and make you stand straighter. Heat rose to your cheeks as he observed you, head cocked to the side with a smooth and sweet smile that absolutely melted your insides like soft-serve ice cream, lily-livered and defenseless against the blazing sun incarnate in the form of a man.
They were dark, yet warm; a rich chocolate in hue that you could swear had flecks of gold within and rings of wisteria coiling around his abyssal pupils.
He was tall and foreboding, just like Satoru, but in a completely different fashion. He was the radiant Sol, pacifying and precious heat licking at your skin, soothing away the frostbite of winters long past. 
Beside him stood the Moon, reflective and brilliant and so goddamn cocky that it made your cheeks hurt – whether from biting the insides of them to hide back a smile, or to prevent yourself from smacking that shameless attitude out of him, you didn’t know. It didn’t matter. 
Satoru’s pearly locks contrasted sharply with Suguru’s obsidian lace, providing a striking visual. These godly beings towered over you, imposing and otherworldly and too good to be true, yet you knew your imagination could never come up with men like them.
And you?
You poor, dear, sweet, dumb little lamb. A pathetic speck caught in the gravity they created. Two black holes, eager to suck you in and rip you to shreds, and you were tempted to let them, practically falling into them without their overwhelming influence affecting you.
Their presence, their power, their very existence that demanded you drop to your knees to worship and beg like the tragic whore you were dominated your consciousness, filling it with fantasies you hadn’t experienced in…gods, ever. Nobody exuded the same aura they did, nobody made you weak-kneed and aching between your thighs, not like this. They created a desire in you that you wanted to have fulfilled – needed, even.
The pop of your knuckle in your fist that you had subconsciously created managed to snap you from your revere and back into the present, reminding you that, perhaps, you should do something, rather than drool like an idiot. 
You’ve gone fucking crazy. That was it, the last straw, the last hauntingly magnificent person. Why, oh, why did you move here?
With no small amount of embarrassment at the realization that your panties were a bit more damp than they were a minute ago, you clenched your jaw hard enough to anchor yourself, and made a mental note to get rid of the problem between your legs as soon as you were alone and could succumb to the pleasure, the yearning, you hadn’t experienced in ages.
As well as pretend it wasn’t caused by them, the iconic duo that had you in a mental fit.
Hoping you hadn’t made a total fool of yourself, you turned and bowed respectfully, saying your name in return as you stared at the ground in an attempt to clear your mind of the filth it created on its own, unprompted. “It's a pleasure to meet you, Geto-san.”
Suguru studied you for a few seconds (don’t look at me like that, please, I’m begging you, spare me), then faced the male beside him with an amused expression. “Are you sure this is the same girl you were telling me about? The brat?”
Oh, heavens, that voice.
Fire exploded across your cheeks and pooled deep in the lower pits of your stomach when you heard him say that word; enunciate it clearly, croon it in that damned tone that had electricity jolting up your spine.
Not now, slut. Focus.
It was significantly easier to ignore the unholy fantasies plaguing your sanity when you centered all that pent up energy into being annoyed at Satoru, questioning your already questionable friendship when you learned of what he called you in private. Your eyes narrowed into an icy glare, primed and deadly. To your agitation and further chagrin, he only smirked boyishly at you.
“That’s the one,” he replied with a widening grin as he tucked his hands into the pockets of his pants.
“She's far too polite,” Geto countered.
Satoru snorted. “Trust me, she's a spitfire.”
“Is that so…” The onyx-haired man bent down to come closer to your face, and your breath hitched in your throat, refusing to come out properly. His scent embraced you. Mild, pleasant, like warm chai and jasmine, making your muscles instinctively loosen.
His eyes softened into closed curves as he beamed at you. You really hoped he couldn't read your mind. There was nothing holy or sane in there.
“Your name is lovely as is,” he murmured as his voice lowered into a roguish octave, “but I think I have a better one in mind.”
“W-What?” Your own vocal cords strained just to get the one word out in a wimpy squeak, and of course you just had to stutter. Whereas the air Satoru emitted naturally made you want to tackle him to the ground, Suguru’s wrapped around you like wisps of incense smoke, soothing and gently demanding your obsession with its fragrance. It inexplicably made you want to thaw into a puddle, to give him your full and undivided focus.
His canines peeked through from the way his lips curled further, entertained by your sudden timidness. He remained quiet, merely viewing your reactions as he lifted a hand to loop a strand of your hair around his finger and by the gods, don’t look at his fingers and how long and big they are and how perfect they’d feel–
“Angel,” the man said, practically cooing it at you.
You stifled a croak, verbally cuffed out of your totally, positively, very wholesome thoughts. “What?”
If you could die from embarrassment and be let out of this hell hole, you’d keel over on the spot when he simpered. “Angel,” he so graciously repeated for you. “I believe it suits you quite well. Wouldn’t you say so, Satoru?”
Satoru was having the time of his life, you were sure of it. You could feel him staring into you, see that stupid sexy fucking smile on his face from the corner of your eye as he teased you and, shit, why were you in the middle of this? Had you committed some heinous sin? Was this your punishment? 
“I don’t know,” he hummed in deliberation. “I prefer bunny. Or mochi.” 
“Mochi?” You and Suguru questioned at the same time, swiveling to regard the alabaster man.
Gojo nodded. “Small, probably tastes sweet, squishy.”
“Squishy?” You gaped incredulously, relocating your befuddled scrutiny to Geto when he burst out into laughter.
“I can see it,” Suguru coincided, earning himself a pretty nasty glare, too.
You groaned and tilted your face up, pleading with the sky to give you strength. “Don’t you start, too. One Satoru is enough, thanks.”
He hummed and smirked, something mischievous twinkling in his eyes. You didn't like that countenance. Not one bit. “Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you, too,” he bowed his head towards you, changing the subject. Thank fuck. “You moved here recently, yes?”
“Yeah,” you affirmed, molling the racing of your heart that was just a few beats short of being uncomfortable. “Technically the night before yesterday.”
“You had a safe trip, then, I hope?”
You sent the stone stepping path partially hidden by the overgrown grass a particularly scathing grimace. “I almost ate shit and died on my own porch, but I did, yes.”
His husky laugh was messing up your insides. “Glad you’re in one piece. It was the stepping stones, wasn’t it?”
“Yes, oh, my god. They’re out to kill me, I swear.”
“They’ve gotten me a couple times, too. It’s good to see this house will finally be getting some love.”
“I think you’re the only person that’s been positive about this so far,” you scratched your cheek with your index finger. “Everyone else has told me it’s grossly dangerous. Wish I’d known that before I skimped out on finding a place to stay for the first night…”
Suguru’s browline furrowed in disquietude. “You slept in there?”
You exhaled harshly and hung your head. “Don’t remind me.”
“You aren’t feeling sick, are you?”
You shook your head and patted his arm reassuringly. “No, just humiliated.”
His expression relaxed, the hardness in his deep maroon eyes tempering. “That’s good. If you do feel ill, don’t brush it off. Excess activity can worsen your health and prolong sicknesses.”
Aww, a mother hen? He was in your good books now, you felt all fluffy, being cared for by him. “I’ll keep that in mind, thank you.”
Satoru pushed his way between you two, resting one arm on Suguru’s shoulder and the other on your head, coveting your attention. “So, what’s the plan, mochi?”
“Good question,” you said.
There was a brief pause, as if you were all waiting for someone else to speak, before he leaned down towards you. “Well?”
“What?”
“The plan? What’s the plan?” He lifted a brow. 
“Oh,” you darted your eyes between them. “Oh, no, I don’t have one. I just said it’s a good question.”
Suguru frowned. “Nothing at all?”
You pulled up your notes app and scrolled through it. “I guess cut the lawn, and call up the folks on Granny’s list for starters.”
“Can I see her list?”
“Mm,” you held out the paper to him, cringing when you saw how your fingers wrinkled the corner of it out of stress.
A crease in his forehead formed, deepening the more names he read, making you nervous. On top of how nervous you were already feeling. You were nervous-squared now.
“What is it?” You asked.
“It’s nothing. Just…I don’t think any of these guys will have enough free time to help you out. Not for a while, anyway,” he returned the sheet to you. “However, I grew up assisting them, so I know a thing or two. Mind if I go inside?”
Well, if that wasn’t soul crushing. “If you have a gas mask, go ahead. The smell inside could knock out a grown man. I don’t want to trouble you, though.”
“It’s no trouble at all. I’ve been needing something to do these days, this could be the perfect excuse for me,” he assured you. “I’ll be quick.”
“Oh– hang on, there might be asbestos in there,” you warned.
“There isn’t,” he assured confidently.
Satoru narrowed his eyes. “How do you know? Huh? Were you there when this house was built? Didn’t think so.”
Suguru leveled him with a vacant lour. “Asbestos wasn’t used in the construction of any houses here. Besides being expensive to import, our village was constructed with traditional methods. This building was Western inspired, but it wasn’t built with Western methods.”
You crossed your arms over your chest, nervously picking at a spot on your forearm. “Who built it?”
“From what I know, it was someone from either Kobe or Osaka that visited a state in America on vacation and fell in love with the architecture. First thing they did when they came back was buy this plot of land and build an imitation house on it,” he answered.
“Why’d they leave?”
He raised a hand, then dropped it in a half-shrug. “Any number of reasons. Some of the older folks say that their spouse fell ill, and they had to return to the city. My mom says they moved out because they got sick of driving an hour and a half one way to get to work every day. Dad says their sister gave birth and they had to return and assist her since she worked full time. Who knows.”
“Eh?” Satoru’s expression twisted into one of confusion. “I thought the owner just died or something. Hence why the house is haunted.”
“The house isn’t haunted, Satoru. Don’t scare her.”
You cracked your knuckles one-by-one. “If it is haunted, I’m gonna give that realtor hell. He promised it wasn’t. He also promised it hadn’t been touched in only ten years, so he’s already on my list,” you growled, then deflated and wilted. “I suppose I’m not in any rush, I’ll need to save up anyway. I’m bumming off Satoru for now, but I don’t wanna prolong that.”
“I already told you,” he patted your upper back. “Stay as long as you need.”
“Thanks, Satoru. I really owe you,” you said. I hate owing people. “Oh– be careful, Geto-san.”
He gave a pacifying hand wave as he pushed past your open gate, heading towards your house. Satoru hopped up and hurried after him. “Oi, wait up! I wanna see, too!” 
“Satoru, you’ve already been in there before,” Suguru reminded him as you followed them about halfway, wanting to steer clear of the inside for a while.
Satoru twisted the door knob and pushed inwards. “Yeah, when we were kids. Imagine how much it’s changed!”
“I doubt it’s changed much,” their voices grew muffled and eventually silent to you as they disappeared into your home.
You began counting in your head. If they were gone for more than two minutes, you were going to assume they died. Then you could officially label the house as haunted and hunt that realtor’s ass down. After you set up a prayer altar for the boys who so bravely sacrificed their lives for you, obviously, they deserved that at the very least.
You’d have to check with the villagers to see if either of them practiced any particular faith to ensure you provided the correct funeral services for them, and to know if you needed to follow any specific spiritual rules when it came to the deceased.
Should you leave their bodies in there? Probably not, no, but it wasn’t going to be you fishing them out. You were tiny compared to them, you wouldn’t be able to drag them out yourself, even if you wanted to and tried really hard.
Your peculiar funeral fantasies were cut off then Suguru came back outside, still very much alive and well – from what you could tell.
“You lived,” you congratulated him.
“That I did,” he affirmed and stopped beside you, turning to face the house as his arms folded neatly.
“Is he still alive?”
“Last I checked, he was. I’m surprised he didn’t leave as soon as he went in. I think he’s trying to out-man me and impress you,” he teased, making you laugh.
Out came Satoru right then, dusting his hands off, acting like he did anything more than recce. “Alright, I’ve got good news and bad news. Which d’ya want first?”
“Good news,” you requested apprehensively.
He clapped his palms together. “Good news, the interior condition isn’t as bad as it seems.”
Well, that was good news. But you were wary to celebrate. “And the bad news…?”
“There are, indeed, a shit ton of spiders.”
You squealed, racing to hide behind Suguru’s tall frame. The man himself chuckled at your reaction, his arms still crossed over his chest as he tilted his head back to peer at you from over his shoulder, way too relaxed for the situation. “Not a fan of spiders?”
“Fuck no!” You cried out, clutching the back of his shirt in tight fists as you buried your face against his spine. “Fuck that! Burn the damn thing down!”
Gojo grinned darkly, eyes lighting up with mischief. “All you had to say, princess.”
The noiret (the only reasonable one among you) sighed and shook his head. “No, we’re not burning her house down.”
“Boo,” Satoru whined. “You’re no fun.”
“You aren't afraid of spiders?” You peeked around Suguru's arm to leer up at him, still using him as your shield.
“Nope.”
“You monster,” you hissed.
His best friend snorted. “Look on the bright side. It means he can get rid of spiders for you.”
You paused to consider his words, squinting up at the poised man you hadn’t let go of.
“Okay, nevermind, I take it back,” you declared, doing a complete flip in behavior, “you're my god, now, Geto-san.”
He showed you that shut-eyes smile that had hummingbirds dancing the tango in your stomach. “Don’t worry, angel. I’ll protect you.”
Blush dusted your cheeks at his pledge and you averted your eyes. Having either of them in your field of view for too long was not good for your heart.
Satoru wouldn’t be Satoru if he didn’t go and embarrass you further. “Aww, she’s blushing!”
“I am not!” You barked back.
“I think it’s cute,” Geto’s cheek dimpled and you were flashbanged by the faces of not one, but two ethereal beings.
Mama, you thought, if you can hear me, send help. I don’t think I’m making it out of this one.
You gulped, the noise far too loud in your ears, and tried to subtly cover your face with your hand to retain some dignity while releasing Suguru’s shirt from your death grip. “A-Anyways, uh…should probably start calling people.”
“I’ll handle the calls,” Suguru announced, already pulling out his phone and dialing numbers. “I know these guys well. I’ll try to work something out with them.”
“Oh, you really don’t–” and there he went. You knew you asked for help, but you felt bad inconveniencing Suguru. Satoru, not so much.
“What’d I say about worrying?” Speak of the devil, the milk-haired boy bent down to your height and nudged his pointer finger between your brows. “Relaaaax, princess. It’ll work out.”
You worried your bottom lip as you watched the other man chatting some distance away. Detaching yourself from your perpetual anxiety was…difficult, to describe it in the least amount of words possible. Your guard was stuck to you, pinned, screwed, and soldered into place over time. Letting it go meant undoing years of work. 
It was there to shield you. You needed it to hold your untempered heart and keep it safe. If it got hurt, you weren’t sure you knew how to recover.
But you weren’t really letting them in by allowing them to help you, right?
Yet, as you sized up the small incline and the shack falling apart on top of it, you couldn’t shake the impression that the world was about to tilt on its axis. The tides were receding, tectonic pressure was increasing, the winds were stirring, and you were in the middle of it all. Mama, you reached out one last time. I think it’s too late.
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uranometrias · 8 hours
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✮ꜜ : ❛ now i see daylight : spencer reid x fem! reader
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pairing: spencer reid x fem! reader
summary: three weeks have gone by since your last encounter with reid. you'd both been doing an exceptional job of pretending that the other didn't exist. you felt like it was only fair. he didn't have the right to talk to you any type of way, and you supposed in his mind, you didn't have the right to behave so jealously. three weeks of no ground being made, that is, of course, until a conversation with rossi helps to screw your head on straight
content warnings: love confessions. reader definitely has anxiety and a fear of romance/relationships, BUT she fights her fear! i also think it's fair to say that she views telling spencer about her feelings as facing her fear, regardless of his response! this is part two to 'guilt is a motherfucker'.... i'm so sorry it's taken forever, but i've actually preparing to enlist in the army && haven't had a lot of down time. i've got 10 drafts to prove it, but i tried my best to make this longer than part one, and i hope that you guys enjoy it.
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Grow up.
Those words had haunted you for about three weeks. It'd been that long since the day you and Spencer had sort of... drifted apart. You refused to blame yourself, despite knowing full well this whole ordeal was majorly your fault. Okay, all of the blame very well rested on your shoulders, but you were stubborn. You'd been that way forever.
Maybe you were the childish, scared, and jealous little girl he'd accused you of being. That wasn't your job to figure out, because he had no business speaking to you that way. Who did he think he was? You could hit him right in his stupid little face. That last thought of violence seems to follow you.
Especially as you sat as your desk, leg bouncing furiously underneath as you counted the seconds until he was away from the kitchenette. Your cup of coffee was dwindling, and you still had a few more files to get through, before you'd give yourself room to slack off. You needed more caffeine, but the newfound thorn in your side was taking up space, using up all the sugar as he made his third cup of the day.
A more mature person might have questioned why you didn't just go up there anyway. He didn't own the kitchenette, and it wasn't like you had to say anything at all. It was meant to be cut-and-dry, you were both mature adults, you could interact as such. Except neither of you were quite as mature as you affronted. You could just picture the screwed up expression he'd offer you if you chose to approach.
You were certain your face was already twisted up, showing off your own annoyance, and he wasn't even near you.
You'd been berated by Derek, Emily, and Penelope over your petty streak, all three parties really driving in the point that you were behaving like a toddler throwing a tantrum. They had a point, but you also refused to accept any such criticism about your behavior. Partly, because you hated correction, and you didn't want to think about the possibility that all of your friends were on his side.
But you think most of your refusal to accept your part from any of them had a lot to do with the fact that they weren't the ones who'd been so callously humiliated, and they weren't the ones with feelings for someone who obviously knew, and was perfectly content flaunting such knowledge right in your face.
God, you could punt him like a football.
You needed to work on your insult creativity, these were starting to get repetitive. You shake all thoughts of assault out of your mind as Dave begins to approach your desk. Rossi wasn't stupid, he like everyone else had noticed the significant decline in attention passed between you, and Reid. But unlike the rowdier members of the team, he and JJ had elected to go the route of silent but deadly.
They'd cast the both of you disapproving looks when in rare form you'd allowed your spat to affect your job. Their clear disappointment in you exceptionally loud. Times like those were sparce, you really only ever objected obedience when Hotch insisted on partnering the both of you up. Which had luckily become much more rare in the last few weeks.
"Still pouting, angioletto?" he asks, and his ability to read right through you seems to make your pout deepen. "It's been three weeks, don't you think it's time to talk about it or move on?" he questions, and there's no judgement there. It's what you like the most about Rossi, he seemed to have fallen into the role of paternal figure incredibly well. He gave you the tough love that you often needed.
But he never disrespected your boundaries, he never went too far. He'd always say just enough to nudge you in the right direction.
"Maybe." you agree, and it's true. You know it's time to put this situation behind you in one way or another, but you refused to cave first. You didn't want to give Spencer the satisfaction of it, and once again you're made aware of just how petty you really were. "But I don't want to." you voice this thought to Dave, who offers an unamused expression. You narrow your eyes in his direction.
"He's the one that started it..." you exclaim your side for the umpteenth time. Rossi's expression doesn't morph, but there is a bit of disappointment swimming in his eyes. It makes you avert your gaze quickly, you could feel the first pinpricks of guilt slicing at you. "It's true." you insist. Rossi waves a tired hand at you, ushering you to proceed, and you find yourself grateful for the chance to vent.
Everyone else knew too much about the behind the scenes to let you get a word in edgewise. Rossi was basically a clean slate. "If he knew all along, what he thinks he knows..." you stop long enough to look towards the kitchenette. He's still there, which is a relief, you'd be pissed if somehow he managed to overhear this. "Then why would he come over here and flaunt it. Was he trying to rub it in?" you demand.
Silly you for thinking that Rossi would be any less on your ass than the rest of the team. He was David Rossi after all, one of the founders of the BAU, a smart man that could read you like a picture book. "You finished?" he asks, and your mouth parts. You weren't finished, but you don't tell him that, he looked like he was ready to lecture. You offer a curt nod, and he hums under his breath.
"What exactly were you expecting from him, Y/N?" he asks, and you blanche. You weren't expecting anything, you'd never expected anything from Spencer. "I mean just stick with me here... put yourself in his shoes for one second." he prompts, and you huff. Those were big shoes, probably uncomfortable. Still, you play along as you wait for Rossi to proceed. "Would you wait around for two years for someone to finally realize that they want to be with you?" he asks.
You hope that it's rhetorical, because the answer for you was probably a lot different than the one he was expecting. You also feel the urge to correct him, you didn't take two years to figure out you liked him, you'd known since your first day. Your issue was verbalizing it, because you cared about your bond. Spencer was nice, he was the sweetest person you'd ever met. You liked seeing him get excited about the things no one else seemed to care about. He was different.
He was your friend, and you had always admired him.
"I wasn't making him wait..." you voice the correction. "And I didn't need time to realize anything..." you trail off, and realization seems to set in for Rossi. He sighs deeply, head shaking as you continue on your tangent. "I liked him back when all the girls in the unit still looked at him like he was some freak, and I'm not saying it entitles me to anything... I'm the dummy for being a chicken, but he didn't have to be so mean." and you're certain that's the root of it all.
Your feelings were hurt.
"Ah, well haven't you heard? Boys are quite stupid." Rossi offers, and you think he only said it to get you to laugh. It works, because you do chuckle, and it makes Dave's shoulders relax just slightly. "Talk to him, Y/N." he presses, and you find yourself looking across the bullpen. "It's the right thing to do." and you know he's right. "And who knows, it might even wind up being for the best." he offers, and you blanch. You nod your head, and Rossi beams proudly.
"You're right." you agree audibly, and you're fidgeting in your chair.
"You are coming this Friday aren't you?" Rossi pries, and you've gone nonverbal, head nodding once more as he mimics your action. "See if you guys can't get this squared away before then, won't you?" he asks, and he's leaving you with a gentle pat on the shoulder. You stare after Rossi with a mixture of disdain and appreciation. Leave it to the old man to get you off your ass. Your eyes are drawn to Spencer as he draws closer, you know he's not coming to you.
It was a byproduct of your desk location, but it wouldn't hurt to use it to your advantage. When he's within earshot, you take the first step. "Spence?" you try, and you expect him to ignore you, to keep walking like the sassy bastard that he is, but he shocks you. He seems to mirror your feelings with his own surprised expression. "Can we talk?" you try, and it's the cliche thing... but you don't have it in you to be poetic. He stops abruptly, head nodding stiffly as he does so.
You feel like you need to stand up, having him stand over you feels too much like you're being cornered or something of the sort. He takes a small step back when you do so though, and the tension seems to only grow tenfold. You mask your disappointment in his retreat easily, instead standing up a bit straighter, sticking your chin out as you prepare to bite the bullet and be the bigger woman. It was utterly humiliating having to bring yourself back to Earth like this.
"Sure." he finally verbally answers your question, you take that as a cue to get on with it. Your patience for back and forth seemed almost as thin as his.
"Maybe it's three weeks too late..." you begin, and his eyebrows furrow. "And I know we've got this new rhythm of pretending we don't exist to each other," and his face betrays how wrong he finds that statement. His face pinches up like he's smelled something bad, and he wants to remind you that the only reason you hadn't spoken was because you hadn't had the guts to own up to the fact that you had feelings for him, but he digresses. He wasn't here to pick a fight.
"But, I'm sorry...." you spit the apology out and it feels hollow. You know you have to do better, so you proceed before he can shoot you a disapproving glance. "I really am." you insist, and despite the fact that you had only just begun to feel guilty about the whole thing in the last few minutes, you meant it. "I never should've acted like that, and I never should have let this go on for so long." you express.
Across the bullpen, Rossi, Penelope, Derek, and Emily are huddled up watching the exchange, not so discreetly. You're none the wiser to your growing audience, but Spencer sees them clearly. Not that they were really aiming for subtlety. "It's not my business what you do outside of work or who you do it with." and your nose curls, mostly because you want it to be your business. You want to be valid in your aggravation, more than that you wanted to be his. How annoying.
Your leg starts to shake just barely, and you look like you'll crumble to the ground at any moment. Spencer notices all of these ticks, and stores them into the part of his brain that's full of things specific to you. "So I'm sorry that I was being a jerk." you offer, and Spencer's face doesn't show any signs of whether or not he believed you, so you continue. "I'm happy for you." you clear your throat, and feel embarrassment setting in.
"Thanks, Y/N." his head tips to the right as he appraises you, his eyes narrowing slightly as he takes you in. It's not a menacing sort of glance. He seemed to be waiting for something else, you weren't sure what more could be put into your apology, there was no way you were about to give an outright confession, that'd be humiliating. Instead, you avert your gaze, and it seems to be enough of an answer to whatever internal question he had. "That actually means a lot."
You don't smile, mostly because you're not sure what the actually means, he seems to notice the way your expression changes just slightly, and he's quick to correct himself.
"I just mean that your approval does mean a lot to me." he says, and you relax. You can't quite beam, you're still not up for it, but you offer a small smile, one that could count more as a grimace than anything else, but you weren't in the headspace to monitor your facial expressions. You were growing bothered all over again, and you had to do everything in your power to ensure that this time things didn't end with another three-week break between you and Spencer.
"Really?"
Spencer's nose curls now, he's an expressive guy. His facials said a lot more than his words could at times, and you note that this particular expressions reads somewhere between confused and surprised. Those were almost synonyms in the grand scheme of things, right? "Is that a real question?" Spencer asks, and despite the tension that hung over you at the start of the conversation, with this question you witness the way his guard drops. It was liberating in a way.
"I asked it didn't I?" you quip, but there's no real bite behind your words. Spencer seems to note this, lips pressing together firmly.
"You're important to me." he promises, and you hate that his first reaction is to validate you. Your anxiety-riddled mind would convince you that he secretly thought you were fishing for praise, which was the farthest thing from the truth. Still, you love Spencer, platonically and otherwise, and you're certain that's why you're mimicking his words back to him so quickly.
"You're important to me too."
He takes a second to stare at you, and you stare right back. You're careful not to show any signs of timidity or awkwardness, things were finally starting to look up. "I..." he begins, and you stay silent to allow him the time he needs to get whatever was on his chest off. "I'm sorry." he says, and you're surprised. It was the last thing you'd expected from this conversation, you're certain your surprise is evident plain as day on your face.
"Yeah?" you feel it's only fair to press him onward.
"Jealous little girl." he cringes as he repeats it, and you wince because it still hurts. "That was-" he shakes his head. "It was out of line. Plain and simple, I guess I was just a little frustrated, but that's not your fault. It wasn't fair of me to come at you in that way." he begins to ramble. "I wouldn't want you to feel... mocked or belittled by me." and you blink. Mostly because that was exactly how you had felt, but how did he know. It's then that you finally feel the beady-eyed stares.
You look over your shoulder just in time to witness the group dispersing, Penelope grasping a file in her hand as she scurried in the opposite direction. Derek picking up a file folder, and Emily focusing all her attention on the drink sloshing around her mug. You really hate profilers, this is the loudest thought in your head as you turn back to Spencer. "It doesn't matter if I felt justified then, or even if I feel justified about it now." and it makes you snort.
Classic Spence.
"D-Do you forgive me? Are we okay?" he asks, and his voice has grown a bit fainter. If you listen hard enough you hear the echoes of the Spencer you first met. Even with all his strides, and the confidence he gained, there was still that small part of him that felt like the nerdy boy that everyone overlooked. The one that talked too much, and was constantly silenced with looks or snide remarks whenever he rambled for too long about some niche subject.
You think this train of thought is what gets you to see Rossi's point of view. And who were you to get in the way of someone who clearly was ready for someone as amazing as Spencer. You didn't know much about the woman, aside from the fact that she was constantly making coffee, and staring at Spencer. You didn't know how long she'd worked at the bureau, you didn't even know her name, but you knew that she was brave. She knew what she wanted and got it.
Unlike you.
You suppose 'snooze you lose' is your burden to carry from this ordeal. At least you'd gotten your friend back though. And that was enough, it could be anyway. You nod your head at his question, offering a half smile. "We're okay, Spence." you promise, and he seems relieved. His smile is one of those rare ones, the gorgeous kind that Spencer reserved for special occasions. He then visibly and audibly lets out a quiet sound of relief, and it makes you relax.
"Hey, Spence, can I get your help?" JJ is calling, and your pulled from your bubble. The world is still spinning, there's still work to do, pressing matters that needed your attention. You felt a little lighter, offering another half smile as he offers you a sheepish glance. He's heading towards JJ as you sit back down at your desk. Your leg bounces despite the perceived 'win'. It only takes you a moment to wonder why, reality sets in, and you realize your shortcomings.
You'd failed the test twice.
Twice you'd had the chance to be the most open and honest with Spencer, only to let your nerves or fear of rejection get in the way. The jealousy is gone now though, instead replaced with a brief feeling of self-aggravation. You hear Dave's stern voice in your head. 'Talk to him, Y/N.' and you frown. Hadn't that been what you'd done? You'd talked to him, so why did you still feel so bummed.
Why don't you just talk to the guy? Look him in the eye and tell him straight up how you're feeling? Derek's question from three weeks prior slaps you like a ton of bricks. You supposed that was the end goal, wasn't it? The only way to relieve yourself of all this anxiety and all the big feelings you were having a hard time digesting. You're back to pouting, mostly because you've got no idea where to start.
You pick up one of your files, and flip it open, hoping to bury yourself in work. Every time your mind tried to stray to Spencer or your feelings, you'd switch files, until all twenty-five on your desk had a dent in them. Your hand was cramped, and you know that soon enough you'll need a cup of coffee. Emily approaches your desk, hands centered as she leans forward, eyes right on you.
"So how did it go?" she asks, and you cut your eyes at her. "Tension's all gone, so it must have gone well, right?" she's grinning down at you. "I told you if you told him the truth, you'd have nothing to worry about." Emily proceeds, and you're shaking your head back and forth.
"Emily... Emily, no!" you exclaim, and her smile drops.
"No? What do you mean, no?" she demands as you exhale.
"I still haven't told him, and I'd really appreciate it, if you'd lower your voice." you hiss as she pouts. "Maybe it's just not supposed to be." you shrug, and Emily looks visibly disgruntled with your thoughts. "I'm just saying... we're okay, because we apologized." you explain. "I don't want to risk making it awkward again, because I think I have feelings." and now you're being purposely dismissive.
"Oh, so now you're not sure?" Emily questions, and then she's clicking her tongue against her teeth. "No. I don't buy that." she denies, and she's stern, but discrete. "Don't do this, Y/N. Don't be that girl." she pleads. "There's nothing worse than regret. It eats at you until there's nothing left, you don't want to look back, and think 'what if!'" and that's twice you're hearing something of the sort. Wasn't there some quote about hearing important things twice? You're not sure.
"If you like him-" she pauses, head still shaking from side to side. "If you love him... like it seems, you owe it to yourself to tell him. What's the worst thing that could happen?" she questions, and you scoff. "No, realistically." she insists. "Realistically tell me what the worst thing could be? And not from that place where your irrational fears sit." she deadpans, and you feel attacked, it makes you look away.
"In the two years of you knowing Reid, do you actually think that he's the kind of guy to break you down to nothing if he doesn't feel the same?" she asks, and the answer when presented to you like this is no. "So tell me what it is that you're really scared of?" she presses, and you don't understand why everyone's so worked up over this. Why the whole unit seemed to be invested in you expressing your feelings.
"I don't want to mess it up..." you shrug your shoulders. "I don't want to make it weird." you offer, and Emily's unmoved by your answer.
"You managed to do that without saying a thing." she retorts, and you feel like you've got no room to speak, no voice to rebuttal with. "Let me be your shrink for a second." Emily is your friend for moments like these, where her clear allegiance to you shines through. "Talk to me." she prompts.
"Why are you so invested in this?" you inquire. "Why does it even matter?" you huff.
"Because it matters to you." she answers. "What? You didn't know that's how this team works?" she asks, and you huff out a puff of air through your nose. "This isn't about us playing matchmaker... it's about you realizing that you've got a few bad beliefs about romance... and friendships.... and relationships that are going to keep you all by yourself if you don't start speaking your mind." she shrugs.
"And despite the way you curl into yourself back here at your desk, we both know you don't really want to be alone." and you think you might cry, it makes you wince. "You owe it to yourself to try, but ultimately the decision is all yours. I just think you'll feel better if you take Reid aside, and tell him the truth about how you feel." she seems done, and you don't know how to respond. Emily pats your shoulder as she rounds your desk, before heading back across the unit.
You really hate profilers.
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By the time you're heading home for the night, you and Spencer hadn't spoken again. You'd been so buried in work that you'd skipped lunch to get things done. You'd gotten a comment from Hotch about that, wondering if you were feeling alright. You knew that he knew the truth, even as you told him a fib. Hotch though, was discrete enough not to make you feel scrutinized by exposing just how obvious you were. You couldn't get Emily's words out of your head.
You didn't feel angry with her, and your embarrassment had managed to go away within the first forty minutes after she'd left you alone. You knew she was right, but it still didn't make things easier. It was almost like you forgot how to speak whenever the time came to really express yourself. You supposed that was why your apology had been so flat. Feelings weren't your strong suit, and you'd learned to express them by lashing out. A less than healthy way to live.
You liked that the team didn't speak to you like a child or treat you like you were incapable. Instead, they talked to you like an adult, gave the truth to you in a way that sliced through all your stubbornness and attitude. As you head towards the elevator, you hear footsteps, and look just in time to see Spencer making his way towards you. His satchel hangs off his shoulder, and he looks relieved, an emotion that you knew all too well by the end of a work shift.
You hoped there wouldn't be any cases that drug you back to the unit, all you wanted was a shower and a nap in your own bed.
Stepping into the elevator, Spencer trails you. He takes one side of the elevator, while you huddle up in the other. He offers you a tired smile as the doors slide closed, you offer him a smile right back. It's weary, mostly because you were drained, but partly, because Spencer had been the object of your thoughts the entire day. Especially after Emily's blunt speech. You were drained. The anxiety of keeping the secret far outweighed any fear of rejection now.
"Hey, are you alright?" he addresses you, after noticing the way you seemed lost in your head.
"Hmm?" you hum, and he repeats himself. It snaps you out of your mind spiral, and your head nods. A lie. "I'm all good, Spence." you reply, and he looks disappointed, but not surprised. "Thanks for asking though." you add a second after, and he offers you a dry little nod of his head. The elevator is back silent, and you hope the doors open quick. You might drown if the tension grew any thicker.
"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable." he says, and you blank. Your confusion is clear as day on your face. "Earlier..." and your still not understanding. "I wasn't telling you that you were important to me, because I was expecting anything in return." he explains, and it clicks. "If it made you feel weird, I'm sorry. It just felt like the right way to express my point then." he proceeds, and you don't know how to collect yourself. "So, I'm sorry." and you want to scream.
Mostly at yourself for being so infuriatingly inadequate at expressing your thoughts and feelings.
"If you want, we could just pretend I never said anything?" he offers, and you don't answer quick enough. The elevator slides open just as the words are settling inside your head, and he's stepping out into the parking deck without another word. You sit there in the elevator for a moment, the door sliding shut after a moment, but you don't move. You feel like you're at a crossroads, almost at a point of no return. If you let Spencer leave now... like this, there would be no coming back.
There would be no room to gain some balls later, and try again. It wouldn't be fair to him. It wouldn't be fair to yourself.
You feel like hyperventilating, thoughts everywhere. Love had never been a subject you really understood. You'd always sort of saw it as this concrete construct. Unchangeable, always either black or white. A gloomy, gray, existence that could cut you up and spit you out. Love could turn you into a hollow version of who you once were. Love could break you down, and make you nothing. But then you think of your team. JJ and Penelope, Hotch, Dave, Emily, Derek. Spencer.
They were the rarest and purest examples of love in your day-to-day life, weren't they? You'd never quite met anyone who had your back more than your team. They fought for you, they fought with you. They believed in you, pushed you to be the best you that you could be. So why was it so hard, what were you scared of? Was it the notion of getting Spencer, and staining him? Blowing out that light inside him the way you'd witnessed for so long?
Was that a life worth living? Was it a chance you could take?
And then you huff, because damnit... you were tired of waiting. You were tired of anxiety, and uncertainty, and insecurity, and pain. You're certain that is why you hit the button to open the elevator. Gracefulness is not on your side as you practically sprint out into the car park, your eyes scanning hopefully for the familiar silhouette of your friend. When you spot him, you release a quiet noise of relief. "S-Spencer!" you hear the echo from your shout, and cringe.
But it doesn't matter, because he turns, he stops, and he's looking at you. His eyebrows are raised, hands gripping his bag, as you start to run. You ignore your fatigue, and your desire to run and hide, and instead run towards something for once. You don't stop running until you're past the point of 'personal space', you want to hover, you want to be in his space, because it was the only way you could possibly get through this. He looks a bit unsure, and still a bit grumpy.
You hope by the end of this that's no longer the case.
"Spencer, I don't want to forget about what you said." you're trying to catch your breath, bouncing up on your heels. "I don't want to pretend you never said it." you add, and Spencer's surprised expression has the hairs on your arm and neck ready to stand on end. "I-I actually want to know what you meant." you admit. "Because, I know what I meant when I said it... and it's not something that I take back." you express, and you can hear blood rushing in your ears.
"What did you mean?" Spencer asks, and you blanche.
"I asked you first." the obvious retort, and Spencer exhales loudly, but there's no annoyance, no exasperation. Only amusement, like always.
"I've done enough talking, haven't I?" he asks. "I want to know what you're thinking." and his voice is so soft, full of tenderness that you feel like you're being serenaded. You feel like you've got a knot in your throat also, almost like you'll suffocate if you don't get your thoughts out. "I promise I won't leave you hanging." and you're not sure what he means by that, but it helps. It makes your heart stutter-step, and you need to catch your breath, because you can't believe this is actually happening, or that you're actually here.
"I-" you play withy your fingers, and you have to inhale deeply to ensure you don't chicken out. "Spence, I didn't tell you that you were important to me, because you said it first." you promise, and he nods, but he doesn't say anything. His eyes are syrupy, alluring, and beautiful, still twinkling under the dingy, flickering lights of the parking deck. "I said it because you're all I really think about." you admit, and his eyebrows furrow, and you're scared.
"And the last three weeks... I've been so mad at you." you blurt out. "I was the one that acted like a child, but I was angry with you, because I thought that you were making fun of me... and all the feelings I have for you." you exhale, and you look down at the ground, because the nerves that come with your words are overwhelming. "I was jealous, I acted like a child, but it was only because I thought you were rubbing it in my face... I thought you were being cruel."
Spencer's long lashes blink rapidly, but he's still stone silent. Probably because he knows that you're still not done. "And that wasn't fair of me, because I know you, Spence. You're not that type of person, but I just I couldn't reign myself in, and I acted immaturely because I was scared... and then just now, in the elevator... I almost did it again. I almost let you think that I don't care about you... but I do. Spencer, I have feelings for you." and you clear your throat, legs shaking.
"I'm in love with you, and I'm not... this isn't some trick or ploy or cry for help. I understand if you're mind is elsewhere... and I'm so sorry if the way I've been acting ruined everything, but I-I love you okay? That's what this has all been about. I'm sorry it took me so long to say something, but there it is." and you gasp, chest heaving now that you were finished. You finally look up at Spencer again, and he's staring you down. It doesn't feel hypersexual or heady with tension.
Instead, it's like the first intake of air into your lungs after being under water for so long. You supposed that's what the truth did, you supposed that's what your feelings for Spencer did when you allowed them to exist. "You mean that?" he asks, and you huff.
"Of course, I mean it. I mean it so much, I think I'm going to be sick." and despite himself he laughs, a bright beam following after it. He takes a small step towards you, and you feel crowded, the body heat from you both warming you up from the inside out. Still, despite how outwardly calm he looked in comparison to you, you managed to spot the shyness, the anxiety that rested in his own eyes. He looked unsure, almost like he was being careful not to ruin the moment.
"Do you know how long I've been wanting to hear you say that?" he asks, and you're shocked, stuck, surprised. You don't know if this is in your mind or if you just got lucky. "Have you ever-" he's got this gleeful look on his face. "There's this quote by Lao Tzu..." he stammers, "Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart, and the senses." he quotes, and there are no butterflies... you think that might be a good thing.
"I don't know if there's been a time since I met you that you haven't been on my mind." Spencer explains, and there it is. "I think that's why I snapped the way I did, I don't think I ever imagined a scenario where we'd be here." he admits, and it pains you to know that he thought that way. "It was-" he motions between you both. "The thought of us being something was sort of just something I believed would always sort of just be a thought." Spencer's glowing red.
The blush coats his ears, cheeks, nose, and neck. His eyes are brighter, and his hands twitch at his side, almost like he's restraining himself. You think you only notice, because you're doing the same.
"I want to be with you." he says this so faintly you're almost unsure you heard him correctly. Your eyes widen, and your surprise is obvious. He takes a small step forward, and he's crowding you. It's nothing like the movies, in fact, the closer he gets to you, the more you're able to see the shyness in his eyes. He reaches out, and his hand ghosts over your side.
"Spence-" and the you that you were just an hour earlier, the one too scared to tell him the truth almost feels like she never even existed.
"Can I?" he asks, and your eyes drift to his hands that are inching closer to your body. You nod your head quickly, and he doesn't look amused. "I want to hear you." he says quietly. "I want you to tell me that I can." he adds, and you find yourself nodding anyway.
"Y-You can." you promise. "But I don't want you to pretend." his eyebrows furrow again. "Please don't do this if you don't mean it." you say, and Spencer's hands drop to your side, there's no wandering fingers, in fact it feels like he wanted to touch you for the sole purpose of keeping you from shaking any longer.
"Y/N, I want to be with you." he repeats it more firmly this time, and he's looking directly at you. It's intense, the eye contact more than anything else. He sounds sincere, and that makes you nervous.
"But what about..." and you trail off, because you don't know what to label the pretty woman he'd been entertaining. Spencer chuckles quietly, and his head shakes from side to side.
"She was nice." he reiterates the words he'd said three weeks prior. "But, she's not you... I don't think anyone would've been able to fill your shoes." he says, and you squeeze your eyes closed, because God, Spencer was so good with words. His hands are on your face, brushing at your cheeks as you shed a few long overdue tears. "Are these happy tears?" he asks hopefully, and your eyes shoot open. Your head nods, and you're not sure why you're so quiet.
Maybe, because life had thrown a curveball and surprised you in a good way. "Happy tears." you agree, and he presses his lips together, thumbs still working to keep the tears at bay. "I just can't believe-"
"Please do." he cuts you off, before you can get it out. "Believe this, believe me." he almost begs, and you hum. "Can I kiss you?" he asks, and you don't answer him, instead you surge forward and press your lips to his. You're certain security is getting a full view of the action, Spencer kisses like he wants to inhale you, and it's nice.. It's more than nice, his kisses are surged with emotion, every ounce of affection that his words had been drenched in was felt in the kiss.
Had breathing not been a factor, you might have stayed there. When you pull back to inhale, Spencer's got this twinkle in his eye that makes your nose scrunch up. "What?" you press, and he grins at you.
"You love me..." he breathes it out, and you're not sure if he's stating it or asking, but you suppose now that the cat's out of the bag, saying it again is nothing.
"Yeah. I love you, Spence." you promise, and he's quick to lean in and peck you on the lips. "D'you love me too?" you ask, once he's pulled back, and his hands move up, cupping both sides of your face as he drags his thumbs up and down.
"I love you." and it sounds like a promise.
So you believe him.
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 "It’s a profoundly strange feeling, to stumble across someone whose desires are shaped so closely to your own, like reaching toward your reflection in a mirror and finding warm flesh under your fingertips. If you should ever be lucky enough to find that magical, fearful symmetry, I hope you’re brave enough to grab it with both hands and not let go.” ― Alix E. Harrow
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thalialunacy · 1 day
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[for the @calaisreno Prompts May-hem (get it?!); cw for more violence than I usually do, ymmv. Also I have a feeling this one shows my American-ness more than most, so uh, sorry? ^^;]
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) 15: nightmare
'This,' John mutters to himself as he eyes the flashing red on the departures board, 'is a bloody nightmare.'
Sherlock frowns beside him. 'We're being shunted to a less direct route. Inconvenient, but hardly the stuff to disturb one's sleep.' 
John closes his eyes momentarily. By and large, he's a good fit for Sherlock's behaviours, even when they're--especially when they're?--somewhat off the beaten path. But sometimes he doesn't have the energy. He just doesn't.
They've been on a literally cold case in Nowhereton, Bumfuckshire, and although the jewellery was found and no one was hurt John could absolutely murder a home-brewed cup of tea. And he would very much like to hold his daughter.
'Don't worry, John, you'll be home to her soon,' Sherlock says to him as they board the overstuffed train. They're not the only ones whose night has been sidetracked, literally, but John's empathy is thin on the ground as he jostles his way to two open seats, fantasising about going for a rugby tackle if someone else gets their first.
Sherlock ends up doing the tackling, though, because he gives not one damn about how train passengers view him. And it's not really a tackle, just a Very Cold Look. And maybe a thrown elbow.
Amused, at least a little, John takes his seat.
They manage to get an hour in before it all goes to hell.
---
The sound of the train car sliding over something besides tracks is the first thing that happens -- and really it's more of a feeling than a sound, somehow.
At first.
'Sherlock,' John says quietly, his stomach twisting. 'What was that?'
'Likely just--'
But Sherlock is interrupted by a great dirty shake, like the train is a snake trying to shed its skin in a big ugly hurry.
'Shit,' John mutters, feeling adrenaline flood his system. 'Hang on to something.'
---
John doesn't wait until the dust clears; he's out of his seat and beating his way through the door at the end of the car the second there's stillness beneath him. Their coach is still on the tracks, but he somehow knows that those ahead of them are not so lucky.
The emergency lights are on, but they're flickering and John has to squint as he makes his way through. His gaze sweeps around and he listens hard, but everyone in the car seems to be suffering from merely shock, bumps and bruises, minor things.
The next car is where shit gets real. The angles are all wrong, and he can see several people tangled in an awful unnatural embrace with metal pieces popped out from seats and side rails.
'Jesus,' he hears himself mutter. 'This is not ideal.'
Sherlock is right behind him, which he'd known but not paid any attention to. 'Triaging a hoard of exhausted people in the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere with no avenues of immediate escalation?'
'Yeah, like I said. Not ideal.' 
Sherlock opens his mouth, but John has no time for whatever witticism is about to be gifted upon the world, so he steps away from the detective and further into the chaos.
He raises his voice, but tries to keep it calm. 'Hello, everyone. My name is John, I'm a medical doctor, and I'm here to help.'
---
It's a long fucking night. Four dead, a couple dozen injured. One cannot save them all.
---
Hours later, the sun peeking over the horizon and Molly sacked out on the couch, he's about to pivot onto the staircase to his room when Sherlock puts a hand on his elbow. 'Let's wash up first,' he says, voice low and firm. 'Your daughter doesn't need to see you covered in blood, even if it's someone else's.'
'God damn it,' John mutters, knowing Sherlock is right but hating it; his skin itches with the need to see his little girl. 'Fine, but quick-like.'
He sheds his jacket and button down, which had got the brunt of it, on the way to the toilet, then barely looks at himself in the mirror as he runs a flannel over his face and scrubs at his hands. Sherlock is quiet beside him, handing him soap and cloth when needed, without prompting.
John finishes, then looks up at him. 'Aren't you coming?'
Sherlock's face-- well, It does something very complicated before smoothing out into a small smile. 'All right, let's.'
---
Anticlimactically, Rosie barely stirs when John picks her up. His limbs are finally able to shake out the events of the last twelve hours, and he feels Sherlock's arms around him and beneath her like a bridge truss, supporting them both.
John breathes in deeply, taking in the scent of his daughter and his flatmate. His-- his family, he thinks, trying the word out.
'Stay,' he says quietly, not looking away from Rosie. 'Just-- Stay?'
Sherlock hums for a moment, then answers like it was never in question. 'Of course.'
They don't consider pyjamas, instead curling around each other's dusty skin in pants and vests while murmuring about inconsequential things, domestic things that send warmth spiralling through John to replace the chill that had settled in somewhere during the journey they've just finished.
'I do have one question,' Sherlock says finally, the words warming the skin at John's neck.
'Go on.'
'As you know, many common understandings about the English language, particularly when it comes to colloquialisms, are not part of my… erm, base worldview.'
'Right, I am aware.'
'So I'd like to confirm: When you called the train delay a nightmare, you were exaggerating for humour, and when you called the derailment "not ideal," you were…'
John chuckles tiredly. 'Being English.'
'Being facetious.'
'Yes.' He pauses, fingers in Sherlock's mildly tangled hair. 'Sometimes, it's all that gets you from one moment to the next. One body to the next.'
Sherlock murmurs a noise, and John feels his embrace tighten. 
'Well,' the detective finally says, voice deep and sleepy. 'Besides all that, I really must say that watching you in action was quite... informative.'
'Oh? In what way?'
'Informing me that I find your medical competency viscerally pleasing.'
John huffs a surprised breath. 'Yeah?'
'Mm-hmm. You're very good, and it's very attractive.'
'Noted,' John murmurs, eyes closed. 'Next time.'
'Mm-hmm.' Sherlock's palm is warm on his solar plexus, and John doesn't think twice as he succumbs to a deep, quiet sleep.
[❤️]
[a/n- I have not been in a derailment, but I have been in a train car when it ran over a live human being going 70mph, so forgive me for not being keen to research the former for the sake of accuracy.]
ETA OH GOD I forgot the best part! My inspiration for this piece:
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rblackdeco · 22 hours
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Sunkisses
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— pairing(s): lifeguard!james potter x gn!reader
— a/n: the brainrot i am having over this you don't understand, someone said lifeguard!james and i ran with it
— summary: james can't take his eyes off you when he sees you
James Potter was many things. Unfortunately, for everybody at the beach, he was not good at keeping things exactly professional. He was a lost cause from the moment he saw you, your hair wet and blowing with the wind, the smell of the sea he knew from the first second that would stick to your skin for the next couple days.
James thinks he would've fallen even if he had other options. How could he not?
And then again, there was work. A summer gig more of kinds, but nevertheless. He was supposed to keep it professional, he was supposed to focus. Damn him, kids could drown! He wasn't supposed to fall for the first cute person who watched him help aforementioned kids, but James was not strong in that way.
A lost cause, really, would be more of the appropriate wording.
James took a couple days to approach you, and still he could feel you looking, stealing glances every time you could. He felt a little less guilty in doing the same. You had a clear drink in hand, a few strawberries drowning in ice, and he couldn't figure out what it was for the dear life of him, but he knew it was sold across the street and you bought one everyday without fail, just when his shift was about to end.
Today he sat by your side and ordered the same. It wasn't too strong, and it was really tastier that what he expected. The bartender brought both cups at the same time and James tipped him. You would always get up, enjoy your drink closer to the sea. You didn't.
"You're a lifeguard, huh?" You ask him, eyes stealing another welcome glance of him. "Should you be drinking?"
"Yeah, only for the summer. though." He nodded. "And well, my shift's over, for about five minutes now."
"God helps the tourists." You laugh, looking at him as you stir your drink, taking another sip of it as your eyes looked away to the sun setting behind you, then back at him. "How you like it?"
"It's nice. Grew up around these parts." You raise a brow, and he chuckles. "Don't say you can't see it, you'll offend me."
"Sorry." You offer, hiding your smile.
"Care to tell me what I'm drinking?" His smile is so nice you feel it radiating to you, making your cheeks as warm as the sun could. You can barely distinguish a couple freckles in his, if you look closely, and to his credit, the faded tan on his skin is distinguishable enough.
"Oh, so you're taking drink recommendations from strangers?" You raise a brow, teasingly.
"Only if the stranger is pretty." He's fast to reply, shrugging your taunting off. It makes you smile however cheap his line was, and James takes it as a compliment. You've got the prettiest smile he's ever seen.
"Calling me pretty and I don't even know your name, that's a first." You snicker, another sip on your drink now watery.
"Well, I don't know your name either, stranger." He answers, letting the silence linger for a moment. "I'm James."
"Nice to meet you, James." You say back, telling him your name in exchange. James makes a note to remember it for next time he sees you, which he's hoping it's soon. Your drink is more than halfway through and he hadn't asked you anything other than your name.
The words rush past his lips in a blur. "Am I going to see you around?" He feels stupid, but you smile despite it. His heart feels lighter.
"Sure, James. As long as no kids drown and get you fired." The joke is bad, but he smiles like you just said something very endearing. To all accounts, he wasn't letting them drown before, but now he seems determined to never let a single child step towards water again if that's what it takes to keep his job, to keep you.
"They wouldn't dare to." He smirks and you know he means it.
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midwestprincesss · 3 hours
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never say sorry -sub!art donaldson x fem!reader smut
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notes- this was literally supposed to be super short but i got carried away cause i am a whore (and proud of it)
cw- art is a little insecure:( , mentions of him having sex with tashi before (NO TASHI SLANDER I LOVE MY GIRL BUT IT'S FOR THE PLOT😭) , he cums prematurely (like...really..) art's a whiny little slut, art keeps calling reader love ( i got a thing for that pet name sorry y'all) , reader calls art 'artie' once cus it's cute&idc.
thinking about art constantly apologizing while having sex :( like ur unzipping his pants and he's already bucking his hips up into your hand, and then immediately muttering "sorry":(( my babyyy
so at first you think that okay, whatever, it's just something that slips out
but then he does it SO many times that you're actually starting to be concerned
like, you're giving him head and he moans a little too loudly- he's apologizing again. while kissing, you pull back for air and he still follows you, mouth half-open, wanting more - but then he realizes and he apologizes again.
but one time he really caught you off guard-
it had been a long day for him, spending almost all day training for his upcoming match. he barely had any time to rest, so he comes back to his dorm, taking off his shirt and pants, getting into bed with you only with his baby-blue boxer briefs on.
he kisses you. he's so fucking tired, but he still kisses you. 'cause he needs you, especially after the day he just had. you could feel his hard cock, practically begging you to take his boxers off.
"please love, wanna see you" he says while tugging at your top, watery eyes glistening with tears waiting to be spilled.
you take it off and unclasp your bra, little whimpers leaving his lips at the sight of you over him, with your tits out. you would love to take your time with him, really. to hear him beg and plead for you. but he's so eager, and so polite about it too- you just can't do that to him right now. so when you take off his boxers, his cock immediately jumps up, slapping his lower abdomen, right over his strawberry-blond happy trail.
"aww baby, look at you. you're so pretty aren't you?" you smile down at him, admiring how his legs shake slightly at every word you say. "hmm? aren't you?" you repeat. "mmghn- yeah, i- uhh i am" he says, eyes almost rolling back from the lack of touch. "you're what? say it." he sighs. you do this a lot. 'self love is important' you usually tell him- but not now. not when his dick is out, aching and leaking and begging to be touched. but just for the sake of it- just because he wants to please you, he says it. "i'm pretty"
"good boy," you coo, finally bringing a finger down to his cock, only to circle his pink, wet tip. and with that, he loses it. his mind goes blank, and he can't help it- all the waiting, the anticipating made him lose control of his body. he really didn't want to cum, he wanted to be good for you, but you were just so hot, he couldn't hold back. so immediately after his white, thick and warm liquid lands partially on his stomach and a bit on your hand, he starts babbling out apologies.
"i'm sorry, i'm so sorry love, please don't be mad, please- i'll clean up after myself- oh my god i'm so sorry-" he was so obviously tired, he could barely make up the words, yet he still continued apologizing. until you cut him off.
"art, baby- you dont need to apologize to me! what's up with this" you ask, softly. "you know i love making you feel good. and it's even better when i get feedback like this" you giggle. his cheeks turn bright pink as he covers his face.
"but i literally came the second you touched me" he mumbles, shyly.
you kiss his shoulder, smiling. "and it was hot."
"i- I don't know how to explain it to you, love- i just don't want to disappoint you. tashi used to hate it when i did any of this, she hated hearing me, and stuff like that- sometimes it made me feel like i was an object to her or something, y-you know? she'd get mad at me, and uh- it wasn't great."
"oh." you could actually feel your heart breaking for the boy. he was so sweet, he never deserved any of that. "well i'm not tashi, and i definitely won't get mad at you for anything like that. i like hearing you, and believe it or not, this was really fucking hot. you're letting me know i'm making you feel good. what's wrong with that?"
"just don't wanna upset you." art shrugs.
"i promise you artie, you could never upset me." you peck his lips and he smiles. "now let's clean you up"
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The SIL
---
It had been a long time since you'd seen your older brother and his much younger wife. They had moved to some nice house in the suburbs after they got married while you stayed behind in a crappy apartment.
She had always been way too good for him. Born a jackass, his only requirements for a wife was someone hot, and someone who did everything for him.
Not only was she the perfect little domesticated housewife, but she was a stunner. Brilliant smile, lustful hazel eyes, long auburn hair... and a huge fucking rack. The first time you met her, you were positive they had to be implants, but after having watched how much they bounced and jiggled when she walked, you realized she had just been blessed by the gods.
Your brother was super fucking lucky.
So once you'd heard he had walked out on her just as she'd delivered twins, you knew it was the right thing to do to check up on her and her babies.
Your brother was an ass for getting her pregnant and then leaving. The least you could to do help put was bring some food over, maybe help out a bit and let Anna know not all men were garbage.
So, casserole in hand, you rang the doorbell.
You heard footsteps at the door, then the sound of someone moving the eye hole to peer through.
"Jack?!"
She opened the door, looking a little embarrassed, and your jaw nearly fell to the floor.
Pregnancy had been extremely kind to Anna. Her breasts appeared to have nearly doubled in size, stretching out the tiny spaghetti strap tank top to the max. The outline of fat, juicy areolas and hard nipples were tantalizing through the near see-through fabric.
She tugged at the shirt, doing her best to keep herself as covered as possible despite spilling out the front and sides of the tank top. "I'm so sorry, I... I wasn't really expecting anyone..."
"It's okay!" You managed to choke the words out, but ripping your eyes away from her massive tits was more impressive. You held up the casserole. "I brought food for you guys."
"Oh my goodness, you're so sweet!" She nearly looked ready to cry. She took you by the hand and led you into the house. "Come on in."
Each step made her nipples bounce and sway despite her top being so tight against her breasts.
She must have been so full of milk...
"So uh... twins, huh? How's that been?" You swallowed hard, sneaking another look at her giant mammaries. Your dick twitched at you noticed small damp spots form at her nipples. "They must be hungry kids..."
"Quadruplets, actually." She put a hand to her breast, checking for milk as more started leaking through her shirt. "And honestly, not hungry enough. I just put them down for a nap after a huge feed, but I... I'm still so engorged... "
Four.
Four kids, this woman was feeding, and she was still leaking from being too full! Your mouth went dry; what you wouldn't give to be able to suck each of those things dry as you fucked her...
You watched as she pulled out her breast pump and pushed a button on it. "Crap... battery still hasn't finished charging..."
She blushed as the damp spots on her shirt started to drip onto the floor. "O-Oh..."
One little squeeze.
That's all it would take. One little squeeze of her swollen breasts, and her milk would have sprayed all over your face and tasted so good...
"I started selling my milk online," she continued. "I had to. Nowhere to store it when you make so fucking much every day..."
"H-How much?"
"Well, after my babies eat, the excess is about..." She trailed off, looking embarrassed. Wincing, she felt her other breast, causing a little to squirt through her shirt. Helplessly, she looked up at you. "About a gallon per breast."
You could have melted.
This woman was a fertility goddess, able to feed four babies, and God only knew how many else with her excess. But she was your sister in law; it would have been totally wrong to do the things you wanted with her.
And there were so many things you wanted... She might have only given birth a short while ago, but she exuded hormones that you knew begged for you to get her pregnant again.
She was in absolute heat, and your body couldn't stop picking up on it.
And if you did try anything... How many times would she let you thrust and put your seed in her as her breasts bounced back and forth? Would her tits get so full of milk it would immobilize her?
With how big they had swollen to in this pregnancy, she wasn't all that far off.
"A gallon, huh?"
She nodded, her breasts jiggling along with her. "And they're just so heavy all the time..." She turned her back to you and backed up. Even from behind, their large masses poked out the sides of her silhouette. "Lift them up for me?"
Your dick throbbed. She was asking you to touch her tits... No. Her voice was a whine, and she was practically begging you to touch them.
You obliged, and hoisted her heavy breasts into your hands. Immediately, she let out a sigh of relief; they felt incredibly heavy as you lifted them up and down, milk sloshing within the confines of her tight skin. Your thumbs rubbed the sides of her flesh, feeling out her glands until your hands were damped by her warm milk. It had streamed down from her teats, which looked even more prominent than before as you looked over her shoulder. Throbbing blue veins darkened her otherwise porcelain flesh.
She must have been super fucking full, ready to burst...
Before you knew what was happening, she spun around and pushed your shoulders downward, forcing you to your knees. The shirt that had already barely fit her to begin with looked like she had grown out of it before your eyes as her milk stretched her engorged tits. She struggled to lift it up and over her breasts, but she managed.
It left you face to face with massive dripping mammaries as you salivated and soaked your boxers with precum.
Biting her lip, she looked down at you in desperation. She leaned forward just enough so her nipple was a mere bredth away from your bottom lip. "Please...?"
You kissed it gently, causing her to let out a soft moan and a spurt of milk. Before you could continue teasing her, she shoved her teat into your mouth.
Immediately, your mouth filled with the sweet milk, and some dribbled down your chin. Rubbing your tongue against her swollen nipple made her cry out again, releasing more sweetness for you to feast upon. And feast you did; sucking, slurping, swallowing, her supply never seemed to end.
You switched breasts, releasing her fat teat with a resounding pop before latching onto the next. You slid your arm between her legs to get a decent balance, and that was when you noticed how wet Anna had gotten.
She rubbed herself against your arm, letting out soft moans. Not only did she need to be milked, but this woman was fucking horny! It only made your cock feel harder, and much more difficult to ignore.
Her body wanted more babies to feed, and by God, you were going to keep fucking her until she had at least twenty.
How the hell did your brother give that up?
---
🐮❤️
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maswritingblog · 3 days
Text
The Arrangement - Part Six
Summary: Lucy navigates her emotions and Marcus has a surprise.
Warnings: Conversations about pregnancy, Smut (18+ ONLY), Emotions.
A/N: Surprise! I'm so sorry it took so long to get this posted. I realized today that part five was posted in December 2022 and that's absolutely insane. Thank you to everyone who has been waiting patiently for this, and to those who still engage with me and my content even as I haven't been posting. I appreciate you all, and I hope you enjoy.
A/N 2: This is a reader fic but I have chosen a random name for the reader as that is the way I like to write. I give no descriptions of the reader, so feel free to picture "Lucy" any way you want!
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Friends raising a kid together.
That was the deal.
And yet as Lucy sat in her car in Marcus’s driveway waiting for him to arrive, she found herself questioning everything. What happened next? Where did they stand now that she was pregnant? They’d agreed to an arrangement to conceive, and they had done so, but she hadn’t expected things to change so much in the process. Maybe it was foolish of her to assume that she would be able to sleep with her friend for several weeks without developing feelings; maybe it was foolish to assume she could get through this and come out on the other side the same.
Part of her wondered if Marcus felt any different about her. He tended to wear his emotions on his sleeve and get caught up in them easily, but somehow she wasn’t sure where she stood with him. Either he’d learned to hide his emotions better than he let on, or he didn’t feel anything new for her at all. Maybe he was better suited for this type of arrangement than she was, surprising as that may be.
The crunch of tires on the pavement alerted her to his arrival and she took a few deep breaths to pull herself together.
“Okay, you can do this, Luce,” she whispered to herself in the rearview mirror. “Don’t make this harder than it has to be.”
Sighing softly, she stepped out of her car and followed Marcus up the driveway to his front door. He held the takeout bag in one hand as he slid the key into the lock and opened the door. As much as she was looking forward to some pancakes to cure her sweets craving, part of her wanted to take the bag and leave before she had to have an awkward conversation.
She followed him inside, kicking off her shoes and hanging her jacket as she usually did. Marcus placed the food on the coffee table before taking off his own shoes and coat. Lucy went to the kitchen for plates and cutlery and brought them into the living room.
“I got those strawberries you like.” He commented as he sat on the couch, loosening his tie until he could pull it over his head, ruffling his hair in the process.
“Mmm, thank you.”
Lucy kneeled on the floor on the opposite side of the table and opened the takeout bag, the sweet smell of pancakes hitting her nose. Although it made her salivate, the smell of Marcus’s bacon that followed immediately made her stomach turn.
“Oh, god.” She gasped, bringing a hand up to cover her mouth.
Marcus’s eyebrows furrowed deeply. “What’s wrong? You okay?” he asked urgently.
Swallowing thickly, she nodded. “Sorry, I guess bacon is off limits now.”
Standing, he reached into the bag and pulled out the container with the offending meat and took it into the kitchen without a word. When he came back, he had a glass of water that he held out to her.
“Sorry,” she swallowed again, taking the water to wash down the taste of bile in her throat.
He shook his head. “Don’t apologize. I had a friend who couldn’t stand the smell of cooked meat when she was pregnant. We’ll just have to figure out what sets you off and what doesn’t.”
She should have known he’d be understanding; there was no universe where Marcus Pike wasn’t understanding and attentive to the ones he cared about. It was probably only going to be amplified now that she was pregnant. She wasn’t sure why that overwhelmed her.
“Pancakes still sound good?” He asked, reaching into the bag for the container. “Or I guess ‘smell good’?”
“Thankfully, yes.”
They ate in silence for a bit. Lucy wondered what was going through his mind, wondered if it was anything close to what she had been thinking about in the car. Did she even need to bring it up to him? Or was he under a completely different impression? She supposed the only way to find out was to ask, but that seemed so terrifying.
“What are you thinking about?” Marcus finally broke the silence.
Lucy hummed around her bite of pancake. “Hmm?”
He set his fork down in his empty take out container and gave her his full attention. “Luce, you’ve got your thinking face on. What’s up?”
Well, shit. She had hoped she could avoid any awkward conversation tonight, but she forgot how attentive he could be, how much he paid attention.
Maybe she could avoid talking about that though.
Shrugging, she pushed the last bite of pancake through the sticky syrup on the bottom of the container. “Big changes. Easy to have a lot on your mind.” She hoped the vague answer would be enough.
She should have known better. Marcus nodded slowly, eyes flickering over her face as he studied her closely. Finally, he leveled her with a soft yet serious stare. “Lucy.”
It was just her name, but she could tell he knew there was something more to it by the way he said it. She could feel anxiety bubbling inside her at the thought of explaining to him what was on her mind. But she knew she needed to behave like an actual adult and speak with him instead of keeping it bottled up.
When she didn’t respond right away, Marcus’s brow furrowed. “You’re not…you’re not having second thoughts, are you?” he asked, his voice small as if the thought terrified him.
Lucy’s eyes widened. That had never crossed her mind, there was no way she’d back out of this situation; she would never do that to him. Shaking her head, she rose from her spot on the floor and moved to sit beside him on the couch, her hands reaching out to grasp his arm.
“Marcus, no. No second thoughts, no regrets, nothing. I’m having this baby…we’re having this baby.” She reassured him, holding his gaze so he would know she meant every word.
His deep brown eyes softened as the worry lessened, but he wasn’t completely reassured. “Then what’s going on, Luce? You look like something is bothering you.”
She sighed. There was no way to avoid it…but how did she ease into the subject?
“It’s not bothering me, it’s just something I started thinking about after the appointment.”
He nodded slowly, listening intently like he always did.
“I was just thinking about what the pregnancy means…for us.”
His brow furrowed again. “For us?”
“Okay,” Sighing again, she rose from the couch and began to pace the space in front of the coffee table. “I don’t want to make this weird or uncomfortable. I mean, we’re going to be raising a kid together and I don’t want to make that harder…” she was rambling now. “It’s just…maybe I don’t want this to just be friends raising a kid together. And that’s something I have to think about, because I knew what the deal was when we started this, and just because I feel differently doesn’t mean you do.”
How had she gone from deciding to put up boundaries to protect herself from getting hurt to confessing her feelings to him? Had those pancakes been laced with truth serum or something? Or was it just looking into Marcus’s kind eyes that had her willing to spill all her secrets? Maybe it was the hormones.
And now she’d probably made things awkward. How would he react to her confession? Would he let her down gently in the way only Marcus Pike could, or would he not know what to say and she’d have to leave and hope he just let her pretend none of this happened?
When she turned to pace back towards the front door, Marcus was suddenly there with his hands on her shoulders. “Lucy, take a breath.” He spoke softly.
She nodded, inhaled slowly, and reminded herself that she wasn’t just one person anymore.
He gave her shoulders a reassuring squeeze. “Good?”
“Yeah.”
There was a beat of silence. “Lucy, are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
Maybe she could play dumb her way out of this. “W-What do you think I’m saying?”
“That you have feelings for me.”
Well, nevermind.
She took in a deep breath before meeting his eyes, trying her best to not let her hormones get the best of her. Her eyes burned with unshed tears at the idea of him rejecting her, even if he did it nicely.
“Yeah, I think I do.” She whispered, feeling so small as she did so. “But…I understand that isn’t what you signed up for, so don’t worry about—”
“—Lucy,” he interrupted, his hands moving to cup her face. He let out an incredulous laugh, shaking his head slowly. “You have no idea how happy I am to hear that. I have been trying so hard to not let you see that this has changed things for me. I didn’t want to make you upset, but I think maybe I got in over my head with this arrangement. I don’t know why I thought that I could do this without falling more in love with you than I already was.”
She felt a lightening bolt shoot through her. “Y-You’re in love with me?” she gasped, the tears she had been fighting back prickling the corners of her eyes.
“I think since the moment I met you.” He murmured, thumb brushing back and forth on the apple of her cheek.
She didn’t know how to respond to that. He’d been in love with her the entire time, and here she was trying to hide her feelings to spare him any awkwardness. She let out a small, surprised laugh before reaching up to grip the collar of his shirt to tug his lips down to hers.
His arms dropped to wind around her waist, pulling her body flush against his as he deepened the kiss.
This had gone much better than she had expected and while they’d need to have an actual conversation about whatever they were at some point, she was more than happy to take this moment for what it was. Talk could come later; they had plenty of time for that.
She started backing towards the hallway, pulling him with her.
“What about your pancakes?” he chuckled, his mouth still pressed against hers like he couldn’t bear the thought of letting her go.
“Screw the pancakes.”
They stumbled down the hallway, Lucy’s fingers beginning to undo the buttons on his shirt and his began pulling her blouse from where it was tucked in her pants. As they reached his bedroom, she pushed his shirt off his shoulders and then lifted her arms to allow him to pull hers over her head.
They both made quick work of their pants and then she’d barely gotten her bra off before he was kissing her again. He stepped forward, leading her back towards the bed like they were dancing. He broke away to pull the blankets back on the bed and then they tumbled onto the mattress as their legs tangled, both laughing in surprise.
“Sorry, sorry.” He chuckled as he did his best to not land right on top of her.
Instead of responding, she pulled his mouth back down to hers and moving her legs to wrap them around his hips, letting out a soft moan as his hips met hers and she felt his hardness press against where she was already throbbing.
They’d had a lot of sex, but this felt different. Maybe it was because of her hormones, or maybe it was because they’d just confessed their love for each other. There was always something more special about being intimate with someone she cared deeply about, and knowing he cared for her just the same made it even more special.
He grinded against her and they moaned into each other’s mouths at the feeling. Lucy reached down to tug at his briefs and he propped himself up on one hand to help her push them down his hips. Once they were low enough he could kick them off, he sat up on his knees and helped her pull her underwear down her legs before slinging them over his shoulder to disappear somewhere across the room.
Lucy couldn’t hold in the giggle that came out at that, and she shook her head at him. Yeah, this was the man she had fallen in love with.
Marcus leaned down to press kisses to her stomach, lingering for a second on her lower abdomen before trailing kisses up the valley between her breasts. His lips found the spot he knew she liked behind her ear as his body slotted against hers.
Lucy’s hands trailed down his sides, nails raking his skin lightly the way she knew he liked. He groaned against her skin, hips involuntarily grinding against hers on reflex. She reached between their bodies and took ahold of him, turning her head to capture his mouth as he moaned. She took that moment to position him at her entrance, waiting for him to press his hips forward to press his tip in before she let go. Her hand came up to thread through his hair, tugging lightly at the roots as he slid deeper inside.
She could never get over the feeling of him, and she was grateful he didn’t want this to end; she was pretty sure he’d ruined her wanting any other man inside her.
They moaned into the kiss as he sheathed himself fully. She expected him to keep going, but then he pulled back to look down at her, his hips unmoving.
Her brow furrowed. “You okay?” she asked, still breathless from the feeling of being full.
Marcus’s hand came up to brush a strand of hair off her face, eyes softening as he studied her features.
“Marcus?”
His thumb brushed over her lower lip as he took a deep breath. “I love you.” He murmured softly, his voice thick.
Lucy’s heart skipped in her chest. It was one thing to hear him say he had fallen in love with her, and another to have him look deeply in her eyes and say those three little words. They hit her like a freight train. The hand that had been tangled in his hair moved to cup his jaw. “I love you, too.” She whispered.
He gave her that big grin she loved so much and leaned down to press a quick kiss to her lips, pulling back only far enough to lock eyes with her, his nose brushing against hers.
He shifted his hips, eyes never leaving hers as he pulled out and then pushed back in slowly. This wasn’t like they had done before; this wasn’t just sex.
They were making love.
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A/N: I know this probably felt finite, but I promise this is not the end! I just felt like that was the perfect end to part six, but I have more parts planned!
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All current & future fics: @absurdthirst @sherala007 @athalien @hopeamarsu @adancedivasmom @gooddaykate @hotchlover @amneris21 @harriedandharassed @gzzzla
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appleblueberry-pie · 3 days
Note
God I'm sorry to ask so much, but I really love how you write, I could request a yandere Geto where I would have believed that his beloved returned his feelings, but in reality she was interested in Gojo and vice versa, I want to see Geto desperate 😔
You fiddled with your skirt, watching Suguru slowly unravel before your eyes. His once soft smile was one that seemed a little tighter in the corners, a little more forced, his veins showing in his neck and arms. He was stressed out, scratching his scalp and constantly running his fingers through his loose hairs as he laughs at the concerning things slipping out of his own mouth in an attempt to self-soothe.
You avoided his eyes, knowing he'd only try to get at you more that way. Sadly, this was the way he had to find out that you and Satoru were secretly into each other. And unfortunately, this is how you had to find out he had a fat ass crush on you ever since you two both met.
"I personally don't see it." He tries to shoot down his friend, maybe you'll understand then. But it's only making you more nervous as you close your eyes, silently wishing this will be over soon. Being alone with him in your dorm was suddenly the worst thing to ever happen. "But, it makes sense, considering he's always been better than everyone else. Always fucking has been." You almost flinch at him cussing and shift yourself to face away from him, which makes him scoot closer to you. "Like, what made you choose him? Could you please tell me? I just.......I find it hard to understand." He knew why. Satoru is just better. But he really would rather hear the words from your lips instead, just to let the reality settle.
".....Suguru, please don't do this." You softly reply. His jaw clenches as his eyes pierce through the side of your face. Why won't you ever tell him anything? Why do you stay away from him? Is it just him? Has it always been him? Is he just unlovable? You were the best thing to ever happen in his high school life and now he can't have you because his friend always gets first serve, no matter what happens in anyone's life.
"Please."
You look over at Suguru. You watch the veins begin to show on his face, unreleased tension coursing through his veins and in his lungs. His lips were pursed as if he was holding back words that shouldn't ever be spoken into existence out of the depths of his mind. He was too close. Too close to slipping, too close to dragging you down with him, too close to losing everything. All he wanted was you and all you wanted was for him to fucking go. And let it go.
You shake your head and stand up, feeling so damn suffocated in the room. He smoothly stands in your way and gently takes both of your hands, staring down at you pleadingly. "Y/n, don't do this to me. You know i've liked you for this long." "No, I didn't, Suguru." "Okay, but you know I could treat you better than him! Satoru is horrible at relationships. I've seen him toss out three girls in one day, he was juggling them all at once not even a month ago. I don't know why he has interest in you, but he will fucking use you, please believe me."
"That's not funny, Geto. He already told me that story. He said that was last year. Before we met. You're lying. You know I hate when you lie to me." You try to side-step him and he mirrors your movement, keeping you in front of him. "Nononononono, please, wait, listen. Why aren't you listening??" "I've heard enough from you! You're fucking insane. Just let me go. If you don't I'll call him."
Geto's shoulders drop and he sighs. "......no, you won't." "I will. Move."
"......." Geto glances back at the door as if Gojo was there before looking back down at you. He turns around and opens the door himself to leave. "I'll be back later."
How tf do i end this??!?!?!?! I had no clue what to do
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intellectual6666 · 3 days
Text
I have some things to talk about, which I felt and saw after I got my CBSE 10th results.
Everyone takes credit. Like relatives who for the whole year kept saying, "our children also gave boards, why are they (my parents) acting like it's such a big thing?", "they are showing as if only they have work and they are busy, we are useless na", came to say, "she is our daughter/granddaughter, that's why she excelled in her exams." I do have a lot of respect for them and yes, I love them a lot too and also you can take credits of it, due to their ashirvad I was able to excel in the exams but why act like they are "only" reason I got good marks in it ? I would like to give 50% credits to my parents and the rest to me and my God. There was also a time when my father was not able to give the monthly fees of my school for 3 months, but he managed to keep me in a English medium private school by working his ass off. My mother left her social life, didn't even go to ISKCON (her favourite place) so that she can keep her full attention on me. We went through so much financial issues in 2022 and 2023 (first half) but my parents didn't let my education sacrifice. I, didn't take any tuitions so that I do not put extra burden on them (another reason I didn't take tuition coz I prefer self study more than tuitions). Me, who got so stressed because of my class 10 boards that by the time my exams were near my mental health worsened. I was getting suicidal thoughts and got introduced to new health problems which still haunt me, hypertension and palpitation. But still, I worked hard, my closest friends helped me, my parents helped me and most importantly Krishna ji, Ganesh ji, Radharani ji and Mahadev helped me. My struggle was totally mine and no one fought the war inside me other than me. So before taking the whole credit, atleast for once one should think about the people who really worked hard.
Second, this comparison shit kills one inside. No, I didn't compare myself to anyone as my parents never taught me that nor they ever compared me to anyone. Basically me and my maternal uncle's daughter are really close. And she is quite average in her studies. But trust me she is an amazing dancer, singer and artist. I envy her because of the great acting skills she have. But according to that typical thoughts, her parents always compare her with me and try to demean her, on the thing that she is not much good in studies and I'm comparatively good in it. Her results came out some days ago, as she used to study in an ICSE school and to be honest, she did amazing. Getting such marks is not so easy in ICSE board. Yesterday her mother kept comparing her with me and made her feel insecure and bad. Like why ? What do you get by hurting a child ? Why the actual fuck can't you ever be satisfied with whatever she got ? Praise her, tell her she is amazing, bring some confidence in her instead of making her feel so insecure that she starts to kill her feelings for everyone. Please freaking stop that. My mother, as usual a boss lady, replied her so sassily that my sissy ran to her and hugged her for 15 minutes straight. All of my closest friends got above 90% and I got below it, but God my parents didn't think about that for even once. They kept praising me.
So this was a rant post and you can totally ignore it if you want. Sorry for writing such a long ass thing, I had a lot to burst out.
And also sorry if there's any spelling mistake.
Congratulations to all the 10thies and 12thies for acing your exams. Everyone did amazing. I'm proud of you.
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ashyx · 2 days
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"I miss you more than life itself, my love"
xanthus lost you over 20 years ago, but now, he bumped into someone who looks exactly like you.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
(His pov)
It constantly feels like I'm in hell. It's been 20 years, but it felt like yesterday when I lost the one person who made me want to continue living, to value my life, and to make sure I wake up the next day. It feels like yesterday when I held their lifeless, bloodied, and cold body in my arms. Ever since that day, ever since our bond disappeared, the world just felt so...dull. it felt so empty, so cold. I miss their warmth, I miss their beautiful, bright smile, I miss waking up and sleeping next to them, I miss us. If I were to given the choice to lose the world or to get the love of my life back, I would gladly watch the whole world burn with my love back my arms, because the world is meaning less without my love.
It was one of those days where dontis would force me to take a walk around the city. He insisted that it was for my own good, to finally feed, but even if I tried, I couldn't. The taste of another person's blood on my tongue tasted absolutely disgusting. Dontis took me to a nearby beach. It was windy, and it was sundown. It reminded me of my love. I closed my eyes and let the scene in front of me sink in, letting my brain remind me of all the times me and my love could have had together. The sound of the waves hitting the shore every second, the wind hitting my body, the smell of the ocean, God, they would've loved this.
"I have a good feeling they would've loved this place," dontis said, breaking the silence, making me open my eyes. I couldn't bare to stay here any longer, not when I had the privilege to hear and admire this scenery and my love couldn't. "This was a stupid idea. Let's just go, " I said as I turned back to return to the place we came from. Dontis tried to reason with me, to let me stay, but I didn't want to. I was too caught up in my own thoughts that I didn't even notice that someone else was behind me, causing us to bump into each other. "I apologize, I didn't mean to–" my sentence was cut short when I lifted my head to see who I've collided with. It was my deceased love, staring back at me with those soft, beautiful eyes with a smile that could've lit up the whole room.
They were beautiful. "...love?" I whispered out, feeling hot tears forming in my eyes along with the lump in my throat. It didn't take long for dontis to catch up with me, and he looked just as shocked as I was "I'm sorry..?" The person in front of me said, visibly confused and concerned. They sounded just like them, too. "Xanthus. You're scaring them, " dontis said, holding onto my shoulder. I was analyzing their face, trying to find anything that proved my love was just right in front of me, but that was when I saw it. A birthmark, underneath their bottom lip. It had felt like my heart had been ripped out of my body. It wasn't my love. "I–I'm sorry. I thought you were... someone I knew." I managed to choke out as dontis began to lead us back to his place.
It's been 20 long, agonizing years since I lost them, but it was only until now that I realized, no matter how much I wish for my love to be back, no matter how much I've played back all our memories in my head, my love was gone. For good. I've had absolutely nothing to lose now.
A/n: FINALLY DONE WITH MY FIRST FIC!! It's been in my drafts for a while, so i decided to finish it up now. sorry if it's bad, I tried my best🥹. This is my very first fic ever, so please be nice. Also keep in mind that English isn't my first language, so I hope you'll excuse my bad grammar. 🙏🙏
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witchinatree · 2 days
Text
magnus protocol episode 15 recap -amble
i think recap is the wrong word for these actually? its more like a live blog situation. i think i'm gonna change that
anywayy i'm so many days late its TIME
oh sam is so smooth with the tickets i adore the two of them
"if only to see your face" WHAT and then alice walks in oh my fucking god. babygirl i love you so much but i really need you to leave
human baby reveal holy shit
"babies are cool" alice honey i am so so sorry for your repeated fumbles but i really think you just need to leave
i thought that was tim for a second i genuinely believed that was tim. i think i am hallucinating him (i miss him).
oh shit.. this is very lesbian of me but she sounds so fucking cool in the scariest way ever
this weirdly reminds me of what happened to daisy but like if she.. died..? you know what i mean??? oh SHIT SHES ACTUALLY IN THE VOICEMAIL OH MY GOD. WHAT? WHAT WAIT SHES IN THE? THATS NOT THE VOICEMAIL THATS THE REAL THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT honey no honey celia run celia book it so fast
GWEN? GWEN? GWEN??????????? GWEEEENNNN???????????????????????????? MY LOVE????????? MY DEAREST BABYGIRL WHAT THE ACTUAL WHAT ARE YOU DOING BABE BABE??????? AND THE BOUCHARD LORE MY HEAD HURTS OS BAD
and it keeps going. it keeps going. oh is this luke? how did i put this off for so long oh my fucking jesus christ
awe i love that alice and luke are so close
......okay where are we now?? how are there 7 minutes left genuinely what is taking place in this podcast rn
ALICE??????????? ALICE ALICE ALICE ALICE ALICE ALICE ALICE ALICE ALICE ALICE ALICE ALICE ALICE ALICE ALICE ALICE ALICE ALICE ALICE ALICE ALICE I AM I AM AFRAID I AM AFRAID I AM AFRAID I AM AFRAID I II III IIIIII DO WE REMEMBER HOW WORM SEX GIRL GOT POSSESSED BECAUSE SHE TRIED TO HELP JANE PRENTISS DO WE REMEMBER THAT DO WE REMEMBER WORM SEX GIRL
babygirl.. babygirl no youre in a horror podcast never ever ever touch the victim this is this is awful alice no why did it fucking have to be her my babygirl my sweet cheese my good time boy
A TAPE RECORDER. it's so over? it's so over? it's so over?
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reareaotaku · 2 days
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Love in High Places
Summary: You never wanted to choose between your two friends, but for some reason it seems like they want to have your attention on them Tw: Clingy Jon, Best friends fight, Mostly Damian x Reader, Unrequited love? Taglist: @6000-fandoms, @eros-kiss, @lucy0976, @crustyowos, @wtvbabes Part 1: Superboy vs Robin
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You may not have always been the brightest, as you were homeschooled by woman who didn't know much about Earth, you still could tell something was off with your friends. They were acting different. You had originally thought that maybe they just missed you or they had changed a little; it had been a year since you last seen them, but this... This was not them.
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You sat on the roof, before taking a deep breath and running a hand through your hair. You had finally escaped Jon's hold and were now alone. He had been so clingy lately, and while you missed him, it was starting to drive you a little crazy. It didn't help that he had just made a scene at a party.
"But you've been alone for a year? Why can't we just stay like this a little longer?"
You sighed, before looking at the party goers, some of which were now focusing on you and Jon. "Jon, can we talk about this later?" You whispered, hoping that he'd drop it- But he didn't.
He frowns, his eyebrows scrunching together. "What? You don't want to talk about it? What is it? What do you want to talk about? Tell me- Don't make me wait- I've waited so long, Y/n." He practically demanded in an accusing tone, as if you were the bad guy for leaving to train.
You sigh, rubbing your temple, "People are beginning to stare, Jon."
"Let them! What's the matter? Why are you being like this?"
"Me? You're being so clingy- Just leave me the fuck alone!" You quickly covered your mouth when the words came out of your mouth. You hadn't meant it in that way- But it was too late. The room was quiet and people were starting to stare and whisper. Jon's face looked as if you had just told him his mother died. And instead of apologizing, you quickly left, pushing your way through the crowd, hoping he didn't follow you.
You scrunched your eyes together. You had only been back a few days and it seems you already ruined the relationship with one of your closest friends. Though, before you could dwell on it anymore, you heard footsteps. You quickly stood up and looked around, your eyes scanning everything.
You felt a presence behind you and quickly grabbed them, before pounding them into the hard tiled roof-tops.
"God, it's just me, Y/n."
You sighed, letting go, when realizing it was just Damian.
"What's got you in such a jumpy mood?" He already knew the answer. Jon had called him when you left the party, begging Damian to find you and talk some sense into you.
"I'm sorry." You say, rubbing your face. "It's been... a rough night."
"I heard."
You groan, leaning your head back and looking at the night sky. You couldn't see the stars because of the terrible pollution in Gotham, but you could imagine what the sky might look like. It was one of the things you hated about Gotham- Besides the growing crime rate. Maybe if they could see the beauty of the night, they would stop the senseless violence. But, probably not, because humans had a thirst for violent. A thirst that could never be filled or controlled. But it was nice to have some hope.
"I know Jon can be a little much," Damian began. He didn't know why he was helping Jon win you over. Maybe it was because he cared for Jon more than he loved you- God, he must really care about Jon. Or maybe, he hated seeing the only friends he had fighting, even if they're fighting could benefit him. Because, whether Damian admitted it or not, he cared about them, a lot. "But he's really missed you."
"I know."
"He talked about you every day- Seriously, Every. Day." Damian exaggerates his hands to prove a point.
You chuckle at his movements, before pushing a hair out of your face. "I believe it. It's just... He's overwhelming, you know?"
"Yeah, well, that's Jon for you."
"Yeah. I should apologize, huh?"
"I'm sure he already forgives you."
You laugh again, this time your head going back, "God, you're probably right. That's so Jon, though. He's such a forgiving guy. A good guy."
"Yeah... He is, isn't he..."
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