#I'm sure the kids will feel inclined to keep communicating with you

[warm-mangoes-with-chai]

My dad: you'll be nothing without me! I'll leave all you kids behind and never speak to you again! I don't need anyone, I'm smarter than you all! No one can compare to me!

Me: i mean ig because your two adult children from two separate mothers respectively and their families also don't vibe with you and only regularly started speaking to you recently right? Because you're too much of a coward and self-centered man to keep in touch with them right?

Him:........ *Walks off and locks his door*

[batfamscreaming]

Listen. We direly must uncouple Hyrule from the fantasy of medieval Europe. If Hylia's power and the power of sages are believed to be passed down by bloodlines, that means the Hylian Royal family has a vested interest in controlling the bloodline, but also in keeping it healthy. Do you know about Royal European bloodlines? Yeah you can trace them back 1000 years, but everyone has hemophilia.

Controlling the bloodline means hapsburg style not marrying any other royal families because then that royal family has a legal stake in your land. Hyrule royal family has magical powers? Everybody wants to marry into that. Everyone wants a piece of magic power.

So you marry people who are already invested in Hyrule, which someone is saying "nobility who own the various lands in hyrule", but even if you keep a pretty close eye on shit and arrange marriages as far apart as possible, after a few generations, people are gonna start running out of gene pool space. The Hapsburgs lasted 500-700 years before the Spanish ones were literally were unable to conceive anymore and the other Hapsburgs finally married out.

We have to keep this up not just for 10k years, but indefinitely. So that's not going to work.

I'm not saying that the hyrulian royal family didn't marry nobles at all, but I am saying that it is super fucking common for them to marry like. Just a dude.

Maybe other kingdoms surrounding Hyrule are trying to make political marriages, but hyrulian princesses are basically forbidden from marrying foreign princes, and instead are encouraged to chat up the local blacksmith for example, or perhaps the nice young lad at the market selling flowers. The servant with the nice smile.

Does this lead to a big power imbalance? Yes. But it also has a weird fun side effect that a lot of prince and princess consorts know how common Hylians live and can provide input in ruling. It means the hyrulian people feel a little closer to the monarchy and may be more inclined to trust them, not just because of religious reasons but because they can see people like themselves in the royal family here and there.

Obviously if a royal starts courting someone way below them in social standing it's not easy, there's a lot that goes into literacy and schooling all of a sudden, and political training and manners, and then after starting all that good luck if they fucking break up. But it does make a very very strange, relaxed royal family for a very very strange kingdom fraught with blessings.

It also means that the bloodline has spread.

There's the line to the throne, of course, but most of the time if there are multiple heirs some of them simply never are used. They also cant marry out of the kingdom of course, to maintain control of the bloodline, but if the queen can marry a commoner, well... surely so can her sibling. And those children are even less likely to be used for the throne than their royal parent. I suppose this could make up a lot of nobility, but not all of it.

A lot of semi-royals end up bringing a dowry to commoner families and spreading that money in the community they settle down in. Their kids marry locals and so on and so forth until there's any number of people who have a connection to the royal line without even really knowing about it. After all, most regular folk aren't deeply involved in genealogy. Four generations back is plenty. And it's not like spares and their kids settle down all the time, it's just one or two a generation and the kids from others become not much bigger a deal than fun gossip.

Because no one is thinking about it, it seems strange and miraculous sometimes, how the kingdom of Hyrule remains prosperous and wealthy with a royal family that are strange and unformal but mostly hale, as if their blood is magical.

And yet, people are still surprised when it seems like their heroes come from nothing.

As if the whole kingdom shares a blessing.

[shysublimecoffee]

Itachi would've been fine to me tbh if like the story just let him be humbled lol. The main issue is that nobody called out Itachi for his actions, except for Itachi himself, which ironically serves to make him seem even more virtuous and flawless. "I understand feeling upset when some people in the fandom community don't use critical thinking. However, imagine investing a lot of time following a story you read since you were a kid. Many people simply follow the story as presented, and can you blame them when the story validates Itachi? I can't really blame them that much when even the writer seems to be bending over backwards to portray the character as a well-meaning hero, like in the case of Itachi." Now, I don't really know how well something like reading a piece of Naruto media can translate to real life but the saying the things we read and watch can influence on how we perceive the world rings true in my opinion because unfortunately some people really do believe in the Uchiha curse b.s and to me reflects a lot when it comes to how marginalized groups are stigmatized like the idea of a group having the curse of hatred inside of them is fucked if you are so set to believe in something based on a fictional group in a piece of media well... it raises questions about how that might influence real-life beliefs and attitudes towards marginalized groups

I think it's important to be at an age where you have developed critical thinking skills to engage with complex narratives like this. Many people are influenced by nostalgia and are such huge fans of certain characters that they are inclined to make elaborate analyses justifying their actions. For example, some might argue that because Itachi was just a kid when he committed certain acts, it excuses his behavior. However, if we start using age or other factors as excuses for heinous actions, where do we draw the line? What other circumstances would you be willing to bend over backwards to justify committing heinous crimes similar to what Itachi did?

Naruto is a bitch. I don't really want to extend to much with this character since I just feel disappointment. I wanted him to do more then he failed. He's become a politician I don't know what else to say lol. So many people say he inspired them how? What did he accomplish besides obtaining Hokage their world is still fucked up man the shinobi system still rotten. I thought this kid would grow up to do something about it but he remained complacent and changed nothing only difference is he's on top. I realized about later that was Sasuke role as an antagonist and it wouldn't make much sense lol there need to being 2 opposing sides but yeah... He was a whole lotta nothing as a protagonist he was cute kid but he grew up to be a dumb fuck who can't figure out why his "dearest friend" is siding against him and became man who can't keep promises.

It makes sense he had a hunger for acknowledgement I'm not discrediting that since he was a child but he wanted validation from everyone that he has such an obsession with his own self-image and how everyone thinks of him that I find it portrayal to be unhealthy. Sasuke at the end was just a checklist a reward at the end of the day that he wanted to gain for his personal goal.

Naruto talk no jutsu is so manipulative to me sometimes that instead of directly confronting Sasuke's ideas or opinions as equals would in a debate or discussion he would indirectly undermined them. He did this by ignoring Sasuke's valid arguments and instead focusing on exploiting Sasuke's emotional vulnerability, particularly his feelings of loneliness and despair stemming from the loss of family. Like his approach to me suggests a tactic to manipulate Sasuke's emotions rather than engaging with his ideas or concerns directly. But, I ain't sure if he's doing this deliberately since I don't know if he's that smart or I'm looking to much closely.

I'd rather ship his character with fucking OC's. I feel like each member of Team 7 are obsessed and want something from the guy but they don't care for Sasuke personally because if they did it would show but they're after him for what they want from him as a goalpost and hey they won.

[darkbluekies]

Childhood, environment and other factors ESPECIALLY childhood can affect a person even if they are still adults, I've noticed something about people who are diagnosed with BPD have something in common with their childhood, speaking from experience, one factor is abandonment. People who claims to obsessive people or a yandere, would likely have had a childhood or an environment where they were abandoned, not given affection, were not raised to what healthy love is or was exposed to yanderes in such a young age and this is also the same for people who craves these obsessive people too. Seriously though, you're really right about being careful or being wary around people specifically people you don't know, who knows how deranged they are 😭

And yes that is right! Depending on your mental state, it is better to know when to differentiate between reality or fiction but if your mental state is in a poor condition then it is more recommended not to read dark content as you may be inclined to yearn for such things like obsessed people. It will bring you into danger even if it feels good, I speak from experience having someone obsessed with my partner back then and them constantly targeting me 😭 shit year/nav

And yes omfg!! It's so so SO very important to take care of yourself after consuming or making dark content, I actually get distressed sometimes with my course because psychology opens your perspective a lot and it really makes you wonder why people are like that, of course not justifying their behavior if they've done something wrong also minors should also not consume dark content, they are young and learning. these things could hinder a healthy development in the brain. It's not only the fact it's illegal for them to read NSFW/DARK content but it's also to make sure they don't get fucked in the head, I've read things in my teens I should have not and it greatly affected my development, I've went to psychotherapy and I am doing well but for those minors, who fake their age in their bios, please know what you're getting yourself into.

—🌊

I can relate so much to the first paragraph ... or not me PERSONALLY ... but my brother. My eldest brother, 14 years older than me. He is exactly what you described. He has been diagnosed with schizophrenia (?) and we suspect a few other things as well. I know what he went through when he was a child (thanks to his mother, not my mother, we have different mothers) and breaks my heart to know how he became like he did. I just wish he would have had a different childhood, you know? And see if he would be different?

But i CAN personally relate to the later parts. I was also browsing things you shouldn't read at that age when I was a kid and while i think I have been good at keeping fiction and reality seperate, it has made me terrified of people, because of every true crime thing i watched when i was like 12. I am paranoid thanks to that. For fuck sake, when I was 12, I wrote a whole story about 2 sisters getting kidnapped and the older sister going insane and killing people when they were free? Inspired by a real case about shasta groene and the movie Orphan. AT 12. It's insane how a 12 year old could write something like that.

So minors, please take this post to heart and leave. I have stated before that i'm not comfortable having you here, but I know that when I was a kid i didn't care about those stuff and did what I wanted anyways, but I am warning you. If you continue to read and interact, that is entirely your fault, I will not take respnsibility.

I study communication so I'm not sure what type of things you're exposed to in psycology, but i can imagine that it isn't very pleasent. Having someone being obsessed with your partner and you it seems sounds so fucking scary omg, i hope that it is better now :/<3

[callernumberthree]

Hey! What’s up? Thanks for coming around!

Pseudonym’s Annie. I’ve got most of my quick info in my bio, if you ever feel inclined to skim it! I’m Bangladeshi and Muslim. I’m also an aspec bisexual demigirl. I also am very large and contain multitudes.

This is my main blog! I reblog a lot of stuff I find funny, stuff about the moon, about animals and nature but birds and fish in particular, about community and partnership and overcoming prejudice, about love and family and friends, and about identity and orientation and mental health.

I tag all my posts, replies, and reblogs as accurately as I can. If there are any issues with my tags, post contents, or anything else in my blog, please let me know so I can fix it and make it a more comfortable online space!

I love meeting people! If you'd like to, shoot me a message or an ask and you can be sure I'll respond!

Below is the alphabetically organised guide to my current fandoms and my relationship with them, and to my organisational structure for my tags. It's a long post; keep reading at your own risk!

Fandoms!

Artemis Fowl

I can be safely critical of it nowadays since it's geared towards a younger audience but I respect the solid worldbuilding it portrays, especially for a children's book. Good stuff- I'd still recommend it.

Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared

Again, got into it when I was younger and it kind of burrowed its way into my brain where it rotted, forgotten, for ages until the sudden new season. Not necessarily emotionally invested, but the Three Of Them have my whole heart for sure.

Dungeon Meshi

I got into it VERY recently by binging the manga, and now I'm keeping up with the Netflix adaptation! Obsessed with the solid worldbuilding.

Gravity Falls

Top fandom ever everrrrr. Got obsessed with it as a kid and I’ve never let it go since. I know all the sordid fandom history, all the best and most popular headcanons of current day, and some the most based fanartists and fics. I do a lot of recreational multishipping in my dark and evil mind palace.

My Little Pony

Come on come onnnnn. It's a classic. I have an encyclopaedic and philosophical understanding of the MLP universe. No I will not talk about it.

Percy Jackson

Hey I mean it was pretty formative for me when I was younger. Got me into mythology! I'm critical of it nowadays but I cannot deny the positive impact it had on me. Good stuff! Haven't and probably won't watch the new live adaptation.

Piranesi

Read it VERY recently. Made me very existential for a while. However, the books I am emotionally invested in change on a monthly basis. Expect the title to switch in a little bit.

Welcome to Night Vale

I got into it half a year ago and it literally changed my brain chemistry. One of my forever fandoms for sure. An astute Aubergine truther, I am.

Tag Organisation Guide!

Annie’s Anomalous Affairs:

#annie’s aberrant abominations - there’s very little content in this tag. OC tag; I don’t reaaaally talk about my OCs though so don’t worry about it. It’s mostly stuff I reblog to help character build anyway. I’ll list the subtags for individual OCs below as they appear on my blog.

#abomination: Hannah

#abomination: Spring

#annie adores advice - there’s a LOT of content in this tag. Advice or awareness spreading I reblog that I think will help me live easier, or to signal boost so people who need it can use it.

#annie attempts art - my art! At least up until now I’ve drawn purely on iPad so it’s all digital medium.

#annie awakened - a tag specifically for answering asks and mentions! Nothing important there, just some fun with cool people online. Long post warning for most of the content there.

#annie awkwardly articulates - my posts! I talk about my thoughts and experiences, or I’ll be talking with some pals online.

Annie Appreciates…:

#birdposting - just the same; reblogging cool and/or funny posts about birds! I love birds. Love their behaviour, love how they evolve, love eating them. I try to include the species of bird in the tags whenever I can!

#boys will be boys - I use this tag whenever I am appreciating masculinity! This includes folks being silly, being kind, being geeky, and all around being. Often accompanied by the “girl moment” tag (elaborated on below). This is because I see beautiful and unique representations of femininity and masculinity in almost everything and everyone.

#classic - tag for infamous Tumblr posts that I archive for myself! Gotta collect those heritage posts, man. Can’t have a blog without the colour of the sky.

#fishposting - you guessed it; reblogging cool and/or funny posts about fish! I love fish. Love their biology, love how they look, love eating them. I try to include the species of fish in the tags whenever I can!

#girl moment - I use this tag whenever I am appreciating femininity! This includes folks being silly, being kind, being geeky, and all around being. Often accompanied by the “boys will be boys” tag (elaborated on above). This is because I see beautiful and unique representations of femininity and masculinity in almost everything and everyone.

#later gator - the tag I use to save things (usually videos) to look at later when I’m scrolling tumblr at double-time (or have my volume on), probably because I’m at work.

#my romantic wife - that’s the moon! I adore the moon, it’s unmatched (tag not to be confused with the term I often use, “my platonic wife”, elaborated on below)!

#number - tag for things that I think are attractive, ranging from various drawings of people (not images, I’m not comfortable publicly thirsting after living individuals) to standard-ATX motherboards.

Annie’s Associates:

#DNA double felix-cipher - tag for tumblr user @toytanks, Felix-Cipher. The tag is a play on the term “double helix structure”.

#my froinds :3 - I talk about or reblog posts that remind me of my friends! My friends are very important to me and I love them so so much. If I’m using this tag I’m talking about my irl pals.

#sarufiyyun - tag for tumblr user @biblicallyaccuratechicken, Seraph-Chim, who’s angelkin. Sarufiyyun is the Islamic term for Seraphim.

#the spouse - this is “my platonic wife” (not to be confused with the tag “my romantic wife”, elaborated on above)! My best friend who I’ve known for nearly two decades. I have a special tag for her because I have a special relationship with her. Sometimes I will be a little sulky about the spouse and her lame blonde boyfriend; but hey, I love her to bits. Marriage has its ups and downs!

Annie’s Avocations:

#art reference - what it says on the tin. Step by step guides or simple diagrams of art tips; whatever helps me draw!

#recipes - I feel like I should throw this tag in here now that I have at least two or three reblogs for it. Cool recipes for cool food I’d like to make one day.

#tutorial - tutorials for anything at all! I eat life advice for every meal.

#writing - yes, I have nothing to show for it on here, but I’m a writer! Tag for writing tips and also inspiration.

That's all, folks! Have a good one!

[petitelepus]

Hello, May I get a normal tfp matchup? (if it's not too late yet). I use she/her pronouns, straight. I have an inclination for art, for the side of creating stories, whether drawn or written....or films! So, I'm currently studying communications science. I like some science and think some philosophical things in my free time. I also tend to overthink and daydream, so I tend to plan a lot but not doing great thing. I like projects and to make some plans for my day. I can be very competitive even when there is no reason to. I have ambitions and I like to innovate with ideas and question things. I tend to keep some things to myself. I have some issues with trusting people. I'm dreamy, idealistic, and kinda very self-demanding. I get frustrated with mistakes, but I have a lifetime to get back up…I hope so. Also, I admit I can be kinda shy. I can get paranoid about what others think. So… eyeliners ✨ and boots ✨, and instrumental music (mostly any genre). Also, my real name is a bird name. I like to think it has something to do with a 'free spirit', so yes, I love symbolism too and hidden meanings.

Thanks!

I match you with Optimus Prime!

The fearless leader of the Autobots is honorable and kind, even if he might not look like it at first. He immediately took you under his wing, making sure to guard you with his life, no matter what.

Optimus is interested in humans and trusts you and the kids to teach him about your race. In exchange, he will happily tell you stories about his home world called Cybertron and about the planet's residents' rich culture.

The Autobot leader is there to support you during your good times and when the times look or feel way too hard to be dealt by yourself.

He doesn't mind the times when your competitive nature shines, because you mainly let it out during the video games with Jack, Rafael, and Miko.

The four of you enjoy each other's company and it makes Optimus glad that despite your shyness, you are opening up to the kids and the rest of the Autobots.

He is there for you when you get frustrated with yourself or just insecure. The Autobot leader knows better than anyone how it is to be demanding of oneself and how much expectations can ruin a mind.

He has learned to live with stress and the responsibilities of his choices. If you get paranoid Optimus gently coaxes you to calm down with his deep voice and it honestly helps.

When the hard day is behind you all, he would happily like to hear about what you had been daydreaming about during the day or what there is in your mind at the given moment.

The best moment though is when you are riding Optimus through the desert and you don't need to worry about speed limits or such, you can go as fast as you can and enjoy the ride.

He will take you home each night and wishes you pleasant dreams and hopes that you tell him about them next time you meet.

[hearth-and-veil]

Handling Magical Liars

There are many, many people in magical communities who will lie about their abilities for gain. Whether it's money, status, or just awe, they want something from you. Try not to give it to them.

Please keep in mind that not everyone is a liar; some people just suck at communication. Some people are just assholes. However, these are typically some good indicators that someone is full of shit.

1. They're self-aggrandizing. Actions speak louder than words. People with real power and skill don't have to talk constantly about how great they are.

2. They blame you if you can't tell how powerful they are. Anybody who puts the burden of proof on you to know that they're ✨️special✨️ isn't. Just like all people who run around bragging about being special, different, quirky, unique... and they're actually basic af. Same here.

If someone is claiming to be powerful, but gets mad that you can't feel their power, and tries to blame it on you being weak/inexperienced/stupid/etc, they're not. Anyone truly powerful can demonstrate.

3. They claim to be more than human. If someone is trying to tell you that they're a god, a demi god, a spirit, an elf, an alien, a primordial, etc., they are completely full of shit. Worse than just being full of shit, they also think you're stupid or they wouldn't be trying to get you to play along.

4. Your intuition says something is off. Trust your intuition. Intuition is a primal, magical part of us. Allow it to help you.

5. They can make you powerful too, but only if you join their cult super special secret ancient tradition conveniently passed down without notice (or documentation) for thousands of years. All you have to do is pay them or serve them. Interesting how that works.

Still not sure? That's ok. Some liars are quite good at it. Some are using magic to influence you. Here's some steps to take to be sure.

1. Ask. Ask a trusted member of your community. Ask me. Hell, ask them. Some people will cop to their bullshit to save face when they're caught.

2. Play along for a while, providing false information. If they go along with your lies, you know they're definitely lying. I use this a lot with psychics and mediums. Oh my Grandpa Mort, who lost an arm in Normandy, is trying to warn me about a curse that you can lift for $500? Interesting. I don't have a Grandpa Mort. None of my family was in the European theater. None of my grandpas are amputees. Also, my immediate grandparents were all born after WWII.

3. Laugh. I'm not kidding. When someone makes some insane claim, just laugh. Their reaction will tell you a lot. If they insist, it probably isn't true. If they laugh too, or back off, or say they understand your skepticism, or something like that, they could still be lying but I would be a bit more favorably inclined towards them.

4. Tell them to prove it. They'll either flounder or argue. Don't let people bullshit you with talk about faith, or witchcraft not being evidence based. Substantiate or suffocate.

You've determined they're lying. Now what?

1. Ignore them. You are under no obligations here. Quoth Cardi B: If I see you and I don't speak, that means I don't fuck with you.

2. Don't ignore them, but ignore their nonsense. Ok, not everybody is quite as good as me at pretending entire people don't exist, especially when they stand in your presence. It's a learned skill. So still be nice to that person, and just pretend they never said anything so stupid.

3. Flat out tell them you don't believe it. My typical response, if any, is the good ole "Yeah, no." One thing: don't apologize or equivocate. You don't owe them your belief, and you have nothing to be sorry for.

4. Leave. If they won't stop bothering you, or they make you feel unsafe, remove yourself from the situation.

5. Warn others. You don't have to drag the liar, but if you know other members of the community, give them a heads up. It's only polite.

Warning: some people believe their bullshit. That doesn't mean it's true, but people get caught up in their own hype. People who really believe what they're saying can be dangerous if corrected. Nobody likes their delusions challenged. Be careful, be safe. Sometimes the best thing to do is walk away.

[lizhly-writes]

Hello! Not sure if the ORV asks are still open, but - Isekaid!KNW blurting out something he shouldn't know and KDJ or YJH getting More Suspicious? (Since Transmigrated!KNW is basically also a Reader, just without all the actual buffs)

ASK FINALLY ANSWERED you get TWO scenes because i'm not happy with the first. two for the price of one what a DEAL

...

Kim Namwoon is not exactly the kind of character Kim Dokja imagined him to be. With a little bit of thought, that makes sense. It’s impossible for a reader to exactly picture what a writer wants to portray. There’s no such thing as perfect communication. There will always be some degree of deviation from the writer’s vision.

That said, somehow this current version of Kim Namwoon feels like too much deviation.

It’s not enough (yet) for Kim Dokja to say that Kim Namwoon is out of character. By and large, Kim Namwoon still acts and reacts very much like an edgy 19 year old whose first instinct when told to murder something was, in fact, to murder something. That’s — well, ‘normal’ may not be the correct word. Expected, perhaps.

But there’s something… off, about it. Something thought-out, something informed. Kim Namwoon certainly knows a lot about what’s going on, doesn't he? Sure, it’s possible that he’s just doing a very good job of remembering whatever scraps of information the dokkaebi and sponsors drop. Kim Dokja himself hasn’t been doing the best job at hiding what information he has, either.

It's certainly not impossible, but Kim Dokja doesn’t remember this. Was Kim Namwoon’s memory this good, before? Did he always pay so much attention to details like that?

And sometimes, Kim Namwoon says things — “maybe there’s some guy with an internet skill out there and I could just stand next to him for wifi” — “man, power that kid up enough, he could be a disaster” — “if a novel became real, then what do you think that —”

They’re not… right, exactly. But they’re very close to the truth.

It’s something to keep an eye on.

...

Kim Namwoon holds perfectly still, eyes narrowed, lips pressed tight. “Hey Ahjussi, are you accusing me of something?” he says, pencil still poised above his half-finished sketch — and that's another skill that Kim Dokja never saw mentioned in the novel, isn’t it?

In a novel as detailed as the Ways of Survival, it should have shown Kim Namwoon scavenging for pencil stubs, hissing at anything that dares to damage his leftover school notebooks. Yoo Joonghyuk, that man who spent three lifetimes with this teenager, shouldn’t have been surprised at all when he saw Kim Namwoon’s drawings and doodles.

If it was this alone, it would be a little odd, but nothing much to pay attention to. Maybe it’s a new hobby, or an old one recently picked up again, prompted by some dialogue change in this round. Maybe Kim Namwoon always had this kind of inclination, and Yoo Joonghyuk was only surprised by the timing of it. Combined with everything else, though…

“Am I accusing you of something?” Kim Dokja says lightly. “Is that what you think is going on here? It’s interesting you think so.”

Kim Namwoon narrows his eyes. “God. Just say what you’re thinking. Would it kill you to be straightforward? Wait, it totally would, wouldn’t it? Have you been straightforward about anything ever?”

[ihni]

Damn. bad at writing? worse at drawing? generally the most cringe? pick a struggle babe

Oooh, I get to pick? Exciting!

Okay, umm, I mean, it's difficult to pick a struggle when there's so many to choose from:

I am in a fandom that is so wonderful and plentiful and amazing, and full of so many glorious people and their creations, that I simply don't have time to appreciate all of it and all of them as they deserve. Even if everyone stopped creating right now, I would have YEARS of entertainment with what we already have, and what I haven't read or seen yet. There simply aren't enough hours in the day to throw enough love at everyone - which is, indeed, a struggle.

All the glorious people in this fandom I just mentioned? Yeah, turns out they are so friendly and welcoming and fun, that people in real life just can't compete. How can Bob* at work who likes to talk about ice hockey during our breaks compete with everyone in the fandom? He can't, poor guy. The Harringrove community has destroyed me for casual aquiaintances (and no I don't care how that's really spelled), setting the bar of social interactions SO HIGH, which would be a problem, if I cared enough to want to hang out with people at work. Which I don't. But still! Struggle.

Netflix is separating the season. This IS a struggle, since I had to take time off work TWICE - oh woe, I have to have two vacations this summer. Woe is me. Oh the struggle is real, for sure ... Whatever will I do with all that free time?

The struggle not to laugh when receiving this message (I failed, by the way). Listen, anon. Friend. Kid. I'm an adult. I'm a grown woman, who is confident in her own worth and skills. I know exactly how good a writer, artist and person I am. I write my fics for me, and I print them into books and put them in my bookcase, and I'm goddamn proud of them. I draw what I want to draw, as far as my skills go, and I'm happy with that. What I do sometimes make people smile, which is a bonus, and which makes me happy also. If you're not one of those people, I don't give a shit. You're online, thus you know perfectly well how to use a back button.

The real struggle here is keeping this message civil. Because I haven't had dinner yet, and thus feel inclined to tell you that I am older than you, wiser than you, probably cooler than you in every way that counts, and also most DEFINITELY happier than you. So I win.

I'm gonna go have dinner now. Hmm, I wonder what I'll have. So many things to choose from, after all. Oh, the struggle.

_________

*Bob is really called something else. Unfortunately. Bob would be cooler.

[dourpeep]

OKAY time for a college au!!

You 3 know each other from before college

You and kazuha were seating next to each other during your first year of high school you became close enough to greet each other whenever you guys pass by each other

And you and Xiao were best friends from kindergarten to 2 grade but unfortunately you had to move suddenly you two tried to keep contact but the two of you made new friends and kinda lost contact with each other

So when you go to college you meet kazuha at the front desk when you're trying to get your schedule and yall are like "omg I'm so happy to see someone that I know here!" and when you guys check your schedules it turns out that the two of you have the same class during the first period

And you're like "we've got 30 minutes wanna go grab a cup of coffee and get lost together?" and kazu knows that you playfully flirt with your friends so he jokingly says "are you asking me out for a date? Because if you are then I accept!" and you guys talk on the way to class and the two of you barely make it on time

Class ends and you're sad to say goodbye to the only person you know on campus but then all of a sudden he hits you with a "by the way can I have your number?" so you two exchange numbers

Later you're going to your last class and it turns out that this class doesn't have many people you go sit in the back and someone comes up to you and is like "can I sit next to you? " you say yes obviously

But the thing is... there is something very familiar about this guy and you just can't put your finger on it so you kind of stare at him without realizing it

Of course he noticed how hard you've been staring at him and turns around and is like "what? Is there something on my face?" that's when it finally clicks

And you're just like "XIAO??! IS THAT REALLY YOU?!!" but the teacher comes in so you two can't really talk

But the moment class ends you tell him who you are and take a few minutes to catch up

Though I say catch up it was mostly you teasing him saying shit like "I can't believe the shy kid who used to tear up whenever his turn on the swing was taken would grow up to be this handsome!" (he's starting to think that maybe he should have sat somewhere else)

So you're like "hey how we go actually catch up I've got some coupons for this café I went to this morning with a friend"

He doesn't have a reason to say no so he just accepts the invitation

When you guys get there who do you meet? KAZUHA! This man actually works there!

When you see him you're like "kazuha why didn't you tell me that you work here?" but he pretends not to know you and is like "oh? Well who might this fine customer be?" you can tell he's joking by the way he's trying not to laugh so you decide to play along

Poor Xiao is starting to regret coming with you (but don't worry he got 2 plates of almond tofu as an apology)

-no primogems (I'll make another part later where you 3 become roommates)

YES I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS-

dhfaeiahe I realize now that I should've just posted this as is since I wasn't planning on adding to this but might as well add in some thoughts I've had about this lovely trio eh??? tbh I didn't add much I just slipped in a few little things hehe

Can you guess the roomates?? Also the bio professor is Albedo ehe

Anyway!!

Considering it's the first semester of college, you haven't yet decided on your major. Luckily, you have quite a few general education classes to take, so you register all in one night.

You'll have the time to figure it all out as time goes by, no?

The rest of summer is spent juggling moving into the campus' dorms, working, and keeping up with some friends from high school. While you've kept contact with a few friends, you definitely kicked yourself in the ass for forgetting to ask Kazuha for his number...how could you forget one of your best friends?

But, you suppose that he's far off in a whole other city with his wish to experience more. You can't help but wonder what he's up to.

Then, the first day of classes starts.

How did you not figure out where everything is first? Instead of moping, you trudge to the administrative building early to ask for directions and, even better, a map of the large campus.

Instead, you find a familiar head of cream-colored hair.

Immediately, you gasp and he turns around in confusion, only for a soft smile to spread over his features. It's only been a summer but it's a relief to see that you know another person. Comparing schedules, he points out that you both have Communications 1301 together.

For once, you're glad you have to take these mandatory courses...

But with an abundance of time (as Kazuha just so happens to know where the class is), he accepts your jokingly firtatious proposal to head to the cafe just across campus to grab a morning drink.

It's hardly been long since you've last spoken to him, but there's still so much to talk about! It turns out he opted to rent out a small studio apartment just a few blocks away from campus! Naturally, he invites you over sometime.

He's also admitted that he decided to major in English--something you're not surprised to hear. After all, Kazuha's a natural at the subject, exceeding the assignments and always so eloquent.

If you recall correctly, he used to tote around a little notebook full of little musings and poetry during high school. You wonder if he still does that.

You talk about how you've just moved into the dorms a week ago, how you're lucky to be rooming with two musically inclined (if not a bit rowdy) people. You're sure that he'd take a liking to them once everything is calmed down a bit. Kazuha just raises a brow in half-doubt.

Before you know it, it's been an hours and, to your horror, your first class starts in five minutes. Not to mention that it was back closer to the admin building and you were on the opposite side of campus.

But it's still fun, Kazuha laughing as you jolt up and tug him to stand, the two of you running to get to class on time. With heaving breaths and flushed faces, you make it just a few minutes late. Luckily, your professor didn't mind because it was the first day...

Following class, you have to make your way to Bio 1301, Kazuha having a major-specific English course to get to. Before you can speak, though, he offers his phone to you. It's newer than his old flip phone you'd tease him about all the time, the screen clean save for a few stray fingerprints.

After you put in your number, he beams and quickly sends you a call so you can have his too.

"Call me after you're done with classes, alright?"

You promise to and the two of you set off.

Biology proves to be uneventful, a full hour and a half of the (rather attractive) professor going over what to expect as well as passing out lab waiver forms. A necessary precaution, he said with a reserved sigh. You wonder what happened.

When the hour ends, you have some time before World History, followed by a Trigonometry course.

By the time you find your trig class, most of the seats are already taken, making that feeling of dread fill the pit of your stomach. Nothing is worse than being forced to take whatever seat is left. But, noticing a seat by the windows, it's not so bad.

You're in the back, though, settling your bag beneath your chair and picking out a pen and schedule book.

At some point, someone walks in and asks if the seat in front of you is taken. You don't bother to look up long as you fish out a notebook, letting him know it's free.

As class goes on, you realize that the guy in front of you most likely hasn't been paying attention. Considering that the professor has been rehashing stuff from Algebra...you're not surprised. But something about his dark hair catches your eye. Not to mention his striking gold eyes...hm.

It's not until you catch his profile as he stares out the window that it clicks.

"Xiao."

His eyes dart to look at you, a confused look washing over his face. You repeat his name.

"Yes?"

Part of him is just about ready to leave as recognition floods your expression, smile wide. How could you possibly---

"I can't believe the shy kid who used to tear up whenever his turn on the swing was taken would grow up to be this handsome!"

The tips of his ears turn red fast, something that you remember very well about him, and his gaze quickly flicks over to the professor still dragging on. When gold settles back on you, they're practically begging for you to lower your voice.

"It's been forever--I can't believe that you-"

"If you're going to talk, do it outside of class."

Ah. Oopsie.

Time seems to drag on while you buzz in your seat, excited to see your childhood friend after loosing contact. You've missed him over the years, always wondering what happened to him, how he's been. And finally, when class ends, he gets up and waits for you.

Naturally, you want to catch up, so you invite him to go to the cafe with you for a late lunch.

"You still like almond tofu right? It's all you used to eat when we were little." Laughing, you nudge his shoulder and the color returns to his cheeks as he mumbles a yes.

When you step into the cafe, a familiar voice greets you.

"If I knew a cute customer would be coming, I would've gone on break."

Kazuha leans on the counter, mirth in his eyes and you gasp. It makes sense now, why he's so well acquainted with the campus and why he'd already known what to order when you arrived for drinks-

"What can I get for you today?"

"Your number."

Xiao's face pales at the blatant flirting, wondering if he should've just declined the invitation to the cafe until the two of you burst into laughter. Though, it's hardly better.

"Sorry, sorry- This is Kazuha, one of my friends from high school. Kazuha, this is my childhood best friend Xiao."

With a day so filled with nice coincidences, you doubt that life can get any better than this.

Oh, how wrong you'd be.

[gakkubi]

Ame Trio's Personalities: Yahiko

I want to share some thoughts on the Ame Trio/Ame Orphans because I do think they have one of the most complex, interesting and beautiful arcs in the Narutoverse.

I will discuss their personalities and thoughts. This post is about Yahiko, there are also Nagato and Konan.

(1/3): I'll start with Yahiko because he's the one who dies first and influences the others' personalities.

YAHIKO:

Also available in Russian: ссылка на русский перевод

Although Yahiko is arguably the character who appears “less” among the Ame Trio - naturally, for dying first - he takes up significant part of the flashbacks he appears in. Jiraiya, Nagato, Konan; even in Obito’s memory of the Ame Trio - which serve the plot purpose of showing how Obito started manipulating Nagato - he spends most of the flashback interacting with Yahiko. Yahiko was extremely remarkable to all the people who met him, there is no doubt that Kishimoto took every opportunity he had to tell us he was a very important character.

Something I find very interesting about Yahiko is how easily he could be a villain; he has many of the personality traits of of classical villains. This is not accidental - in Chapter 372, when Jiraiya finds and confronts Konan, his memories of the Ame Orphans lead him to believe Yahiko was the one who first turned evil (in their conversation, Konan never clearly explains whose ideology they have embraced; it’s very implied Jiraiya was inclined to believe that was Yahiko).

This is built purposefully to confuse the audience regarding Pain’s identity as the one who possesses the rinnegan is Nagato; one has the “villainous” personality, the other has the power.

Of course, we all know Yahiko is not a villain, even though he could easily be. Yahiko’s most powerful personality trait is his ambition; this trait is the one that will always surpass the others.

Yahiko is a survivor; we are shown repeatedly that he would do just about anything to to keep alive (and Nagato and Konan with him). We are shown some of his big and most drastic actions like stealing, but minor details like cooking, gathering supplies and stabilising a house for him and Konan - taking from the story and Nagato’s conversation with Jiraiya, it’s safe to assume Yahiko was the mastermind behind all the actions that allowed them to survive as children. Yahiko knew they needed power to survive, and we’re shown in the anime their journey to find Jiraiya and how he quickly learned to navigate in the warzone by being able to put himself in the shoes of his “enemies” and think like they did. Yahiko always had an extremely clear sense of what he wants and how to get there.

He is also a natural leader; we can’t say for sure how much of his leadership is actually his nature and how much it comes from needing to step up as the leader of the trio, given how Nagato and Konan have more passive personalities. The fact is, by the time Yahiko dies, he has been acting as a leader for more than half os his life; giving orders and being in control is his comfort zone. He will have control and boss others even if they don’t agree with him, which is clearly stated when he tells Konan he believes Nagato is the one who will bring peace; he put Nagato in that position regardless of Nagato’s opinions - Konan will support Nagato and not him, regardless who she thinks is the “bridge to peace” (Chapter 509).

In that particular flashback of Jiraiya, there are two classically villainous traits shown: the first is anger; it’s implied that Yahiko is a kid full of anger and hate, but in fact, he is a very emotional and sensitive person - in that, he is very similar to Nagato - although unlike him, Yahiko will almost always express his feelings. He’s angry because he’s in pain and won’t conform to his fate as a victim of a poor country. The second one is both his ambition and megalomania: He will change the country, no matter the lenghts he has to go through.

Another strong trait of Yahiko’s thought process is that ends justify the means. This is proven by many of his actions; to survive, he will steal; to defend others, he will put his own life at risk - the ultimate proof of this is sacrificing his life to save Nagato and Konan from Hanzo. They are the ones who must survive no matter what; no matter if he dies. Although the famous “the end justify the means” sentence is usually associated with Machiavellianism, Yahiko doesn’t display the other traits needed such as manipulativeness and indifference to morality to classify him as a machiavellian person.

Yahiko could easily become a “villain”; he has unbreakable ambition and he’s willing to go to extreme lengths to get what he wants regardless of the opinion of those around him. I could easily say just about the very same about Obito, Madara and Orochimaru with a few changes here and there; I could even describe adult Nagato like that.

Seeing this particular scene in Jiraiya's memory, his ambition and anger and a "well-intentioned world-domination" goal are enough to convince the reader to believe Yahiko is Pain, even before seeing his appearance. It's notable that Nagato doesn't reply anything while Yahiko is screaming at him, highlighting his more passive personality.

You, reader, must be rather shocked at what I'm saying, because Yahiko is the only one who was never evil among the three of them; in fact, the others turned evil because of his absence. Yahiko is such a special character because he was all those classically villainous traits, the key to his character lies in why he never turns evil despite all of that.

Ambition is the trait that will rule above all; but his vision comes second in command. We are shown Yahiko is a very sensitive child, he cries a lot, he's easy to anger because he's overwhelmed by the situation he finds himself in. In the same flashback that gives the audience all the reason to believe Yahiko could be Pain, Yahiko himself admits inflicting pain on others wouldn't work as a solution.

The very fact that Yahiko wanted help from the very people who were destroying his country and were directly or indirectly responsible for him being an orphan (that is, foreigners) shows how the end goal was more important to him than the mean of how to get there; Nagato's initial distrust was the feeling most people would have in their situation, which shows another difference between their thought process; Nagato holds grudges (he could accept Jiraiya individually, but not Konoha, and he couldn't ever get over his parents or Yahiko's death) whereas Yahiko doesn't ever let any past event, situation or prejudice come between him and the goal he wants to achieve.

But ambition, vision and idealism (which I have not mentioned yet) are all traits he also shares with villains.

What makes Yahiko different from other villains, especially Nagato, is that he develops an amazing emotional intelligence to deal with the information his sensitivity gathers from the world.

Yahiko was extremely hopeful, positive and emotionally intelligent, all characteristics he shares with other heroes like Naruto. Throughout his life, the "classically villainous" characteristics of his childhood were outgrown by the "classically heroic" traits that gained strength overtime. Yahiko walked away from the evil path he could have easily taken by confronting his "villainous" traits.

It was through the use of emotional intelligence that Yahiko dismantled the initial megalomania and revengfullness he displays in both Jiraiya's and Nagato's childhood flashbacks. It's important to highlight that Yahiko's "Savior Complex" was something that stayed with Nagato long after Yahiko no longer believed only a single powerful person could force peace upon others. Yahiko "grew out" of his childish megalomania - Nagato did the very opposite when absorbing many of Yahiko's characteristics after his death.

His emotional intelligence can be clearly seen in Obito's memories of him in Chapter 607; in that same instance Yahiko was one of the few characters to rule out the idea of the masked man being Madara. Yahiko was not especially powerful or intelligent, so he rellied heavily in taking accurate conclusions from his observations of the world.

Another sign of Yahiko's emotional intelligence is his mirroring of Jiraiya's behavior - although it may be first seen as something done just for comedy, it shows how Yahiko was eager to understand other people - mirroring is a display of empathy. The natural inclination he had to understand other people led Yahiko to develop his peaceful philosophy, and was also used for him to gather allies (as shown in the anime).

It was both his emotional intelligence and his vision that kept him from becoming arrogant (and doing things like stealing Nagato's rinnegan to himself, as Jiraiya considered plausible). Whereas villains will usually harvest power for themselves, Yahiko knew that the key to the success of his plans didn't depend solely on him and his actions. He had to support others and believe in them. Understanding the value in community and extreme loyalty was a value Yahiko and Konan shared - a value Nagato also had, which was eventually displaced by other traits. It's important to note how Nagato and Konan perceive their memories of Yahiko differently; of course their flashbacks serve plot purposes, but they also show completely different aspects of his personality, and these differences in perception reflect the own values of Konan and Nagato.

Although his ambition, energy and protectiveness are displayed in both of their memories, other characteristics vary in intensity.

In Konan's memories, Yahiko is much more kind and calm, happy but also introspective. In her childhood memories, he appears more joyful and carefree - as an adult, it's shown how he is hurt by the war, how understanding has made him kind and and how he wants to protect his comrades both physically and mentally. In Nagato's memories, he appears much more angry and harsh in comparison - the anime even takes an effort to "soften" some of his actions; in the anime Yahiko gives back some of the stealing and also prays for Chibi in his death (instead of just scolding Nagato for crying and mourning as he does in the manga).

I don't know how manga to anime adaptations work but it's possible that, due to the difference in pace between manga and anime, Studio Pierrot realized Yahiko would come across much more "evil" if he wasn't softened - and I like the adaptations because it makes Nagato's memories less different than Konan's; all they did was add moments foreshadowing a much kinder personality Yahiko would display on the chapters later on.

(Edit: I added this image from chapter 509 to better illustrate Yahiko's emotional intelligence using an actual canon moment where Yahiko himself reflects on his past feelings and how they changed as he grew up. I really like this chapter, and I think it's nice how soft and caring Yahiko behaves towards Nagato in Konan's flashbacks, worrying about his injuries and telling that "it's ok" and encouraging him to rest, as opposed to Nagato's own flashbacks that show younger Yahiko screaming and scolding him for behaving like a "crybaby" and "victim" while they were all struggling to survive. I think it's important to consider the scenarios of those flashbacks; Nagato's flashbacks find the characters all recently traumatized, while Konan's find them in a much more stable and safe period of their lives).

Yahiko was the first among the three to understand that the pursuit of "justice" would only result in more conflict as one's noble justice could be seen as mere acts of vengeance by another. All the Ame Orphans knew in their lives was war, suffering and trauma, so the decision to pursue a different path away from violence could only come from a person who could look inside their own heart without the fear of seeing ugly things and confront their feelings.

Yahiko's unshakable hope on his dream of bringing peace was a result of his ambition, his vision and emotional intelligence. His sensitivity led him to become a kind, caring person, who avoided violence as much as he could. We know he was extremely loyal to his ideals, preferring to sacrifice himself and die instead of giving up the peaceful philosophy he had established for the Akatsuki to fight Hanzo. The extreme loyalty and the will to sacrifice anything for that was another trait he shared with Konan.

Although I consider Yahiko's vision to be one of the pillars in his personality, he was also extremely naïve. Yahiko's hopefulness and faith in his dreams and plans were not countered by opposite personality traits like being cynical or hesitant. The first time we see Yahiko being naïve was at the very idea of approaching the Sannin and begging for training, which could have easily ended with them all killed (or, more likely, just ignored). Unfortunately for Yahiko, his biggest flaw was not putting limits to how much he believed his ideals, leading him to fall in a trap he could have easily avoided - I left this trait for last because the anime makes Yahiko's willingness to believe Hanzo a key reason for falling on his trap, even though the manga never shows evidence for that and only implies Yahiko's innocence by Nagato's perception of them being "still children." However, I still think it's fitting for someone who displayed early signs of megalomania to have such naïvety.

Other traits that were not mentioned are less about his ideals and more about his nature; Yahiko is also naturally expansive, friendly and unafraid- these traits help him to become both the trio and Akatsuki's leader. In Chapter 509 Konan mentions he was adored by the rest of the Akatsuki, and it's very implied in the manga (and shown in anime fillers) he lead the Akatsuki with a egalitarian philosophy, not abusing his positon as leader through authority, which is another important trait of his personality; Yahiko may be bossy and unreceptive to challenges on his orders, but he is not comfortable with hierarchy and the idea of some people acting as if they were better than others.

I won't talk much about Yahiko and Konan's romance as I don't believe "being in love" can be a part of someones personality, and I don't believe his decision to kill himself to save her and Nagato was influenced by being in love. His decision to sacrifice himself comes directly from his “ends justifying the means” logic, even if in that particular case the survival of Nagato and Konan is the end which can be justified by the loss of his own life.

I do believe, though, that there are many reasons why they could be attracted to each other and I'll highlight specially their loyalty. Yahiko and Konan are both extremely loyal people; Yahiko is loyal to his ideals, Konan is loyal to what she considers "her own'' - her friends, her people. They are also people who are full of faith in the things they believe in; we are never shown Yahiko having doubts on his plans, as well as we never see Konan ever doubting the capability of the people she supports. People who share such characteristics of loyalty and faith will find great comfort in each other, creating a positive circle of both giving and receiving love and support.

Yahiko's expansive and dominant personality, as well as his positivity and hopefulness contrast immensely with Konan and Nagato's passiveness and melancholy. He is shown to be a person who could deal with his pain and his traumas, and was likely the biggest emotional support of the other two; as he himself said, he had hopes and dreams, his dreams became Nagato and Konan's dreams. His death left an immense void that could not be filled with positive, healthy thoughts and feelings, as Nagato and Konan always relied on his hopeful ideals.

The very traits that could have easily made him a villain are the same ones which lead him to achieve his and the trio's survival. Yahiko's personality exists in a delicate ballance between many "classically villainous" traits and the abundance of other solid "classically heroic" foundations.

By taking a complete look at his character it's easy to understand why his death was something really, near-impossible to recover from given the circumstances, and why the love and respect they felt endured so long after his death.

[itsclydebitches]

Here's a quandary I've suddenly found myself in: where do you stand on writers deleting their own works, fanfiction or otherwise? I've had this happen to me on more than one occasion - I go to look for an old favorite and find it's since been deleted from whatever site I read it on.

On the one hand, I'm inclined to think that, "Sure. The author wrote it, it's their call. I don't own the work - I certainly didn't pay for it. It's their decision, even if it's disappointing."

But at the same time I can't help but consider the alternative - if I believe in death of the author (and I do), that an author's work fundamentally isn't solely theirs once it's been published, posted, etc., then it also seems wrong to have a work deleted. Stories aren't the sole property of their creator, after all.

But then I circle back. D'you think there are different obligations between authors and readers and the works being made in fandom space? I know if I had bought a book and the author decided they wanted it back, I would feel pretty comfortable telling them no, given I'd paid for it and whatnot. But that's a different world from fanfic and fandom space generally.

So. You're insightful Clyde, I'm curious as to what you'll have to say here (and to all y'all thinking about it, don't flame me. I haven't decided where I stand here yet - haven't heard a good nail-in-the-coffin argument for or against yet).

Val are you a mind reader now? I’ve been thinking about this exact conundrum the last few days!

(And yeah, as a general disclaimer: no flaming. Not allowed. Any asks of the sort will be deleted on sight and with great satisfaction.)

Honestly, I’m not sure there is a “nail-in-the-coffin argument” for this, just because—as you lay out—there are really good points for keeping works around and really good points for allowing authors to have control over their work, especially when fanworks have no payment/legal obligations attached. In mainstream entertainment, your stories reflect a collaborative effort (publisher, editor, cover artists, etc.) so even if it were possible to delete the physical books out of everyone’s home and library (and we're ignoring the censorship angle for the moment), that’s no longer solely the author’s call, even if they have done the lion’s share of the creative work. Though fanworks can also, obviously, be collaborative, they’re usually not collaborative in the same way (more “This fic idea came about from discord conversations, a couple tumblr posts, and that one headcanon on reddit”) and they certainly don’t have the same monetary, legal, and professional strings attached. I wrote this fic as a hobby in my free time. Don’t I have the right to delete it like I also have the right to tear apart the blankets I knit?

Well yes… but also no? I personally view fanworks as akin to gifts—the academic term for our communities is literally “gift economy”—so if we view it like that, suddenly that discomfort with getting rid of works is more pronounced. If I not only knit a blanket, but then gift it to a friend, it would indeed feel outside of my rights to randomly knock on their door one day and go, “I actually decided I hate that? Please give it back so I can tear it to shreds, thanks :)” That’s so rude! And any real friend would try to talk me out of it, explaining both why they love the blanket and, even if it’s not technically the best in terms of craftsmanship, it holds significant emotional value to them. Save it for that reason alone, at least. Fanworks carry that same meaning—“I don’t care if it’s full of typos, super cliché, and using some outdated, uncomfortable tropes. This story meant so much to me as a teenager and I’ll always love it”—but the difference in medium and relationships means it’s easier to ignore all that. I’m not going up to someone’s house and asking face-to-face to destroy something I gave them (which is awkward as hell. That alone deters us), I’m just pressing a button on my computer. I’m not asking this of a personal friend that is involved in my IRL experiences, I’m (mostly) doing this to online peers I know little, if anything, about. It’s easy to distance ourselves from both the impact of our creative work and the act of getting rid of it while online. On the flip-side though, it’s also easier to demean that work and forget that the author is a real person who put a lot of effort into this creation. If someone didn’t like my knitted blanket I gave them as a gift, they’re unlikely to tell me that. They recognize that it’s impolite and that the act of creating something for them is more important than the construction’s craftsmanship. For fanworks though, with everyone spread around the world and using made up identities, people have fewer filters, happily tearing authors to shreds in the comments, sending anon hate, and the like. The fact that we’re both prefacing this conversation with, “Please don’t flame” emphasizes that. So if I wrote a fic with some iffy tropes, “cringy” dialogue, numerous typos, whatever and enough people decided to drag me for it… I don’t know whether I’d resist the urge to just delete the fic, hopefully ending those interactions. There’s a reason why we’re constantly reminding others to express when they enjoy someone else’s work: the ratio of praise to criticism in fandom (or simply praise to seeming indifference because there was no public reaction at all), is horribly skewed.

So I personally can’t blame anyone for deleting. I’d like to hope that more people realize the importance of keeping fanworks around, that everything you put out there is loved by someone… but I’m well aware that the reality is far more complicated. It’s hard to keep that in mind. It’s hard to keep something around that you personally no longer like. Harder still to keep up a work you might be harassed over, that someone IRL discovered, that you’re disgusted with because you didn’t know better back then… there are lots of reasons why people delete and I ultimately can’t fault them for that. I think the reasons why people delete stem more from problems in fandom culture at large—trolling, legal issues, lack of positive feedback, cancel culture, etc.—than anything the author has or has not personally done, and since such work is meant to be a part of an enjoyable hobby… I can’t rightly tell anyone to shoulder those problems, problems they can’t solve themselves, just for the sake of mine or others’ enjoyment. The reason I’ve been thinking about this lately is because I was discussing Attack on Titan and how much I dislike the source material now, resulting in a very uncomfortable relationship with the fics I wrote a few years back. I’ve personally decided to keep them up and that’s largely because some have received fantastic feedback and I’m aware of how it will hurt those still in the fandom if I take them down. So if a positive experience is the cornerstone of me keeping fics up, I can only assume that negative experiences would likewise been the cornerstone of taking them down. And if getting rid of that fic helps your mental health, or solves a bullying problem, or just makes you happier… that, to me, is always more important than the fic itself.

But, of course, it’s still devastating for everyone who loses the work, which is why my compromise-y answer is to embrace options like AO3’s phenomenal orphaning policy. That’s a fantastic middle ground between saving fanworks and allowing authors to distances themselves from them. I’ve also gotten a lot more proactive about saving the works I want to have around in the future. Regardless of whether we agree with deleting works or not, the reality is we do live in a world where it happens, so best to take action on our own to save what we want to keep around. Though I respect an author’s right to delete, I also respect the reader’s right to maintain access to the work, once published, in whatever way they can. That's probably my real answer here: authors have their rights, but readers have their rights too, so if you decide to publish in the first place, be aware that these rights might, at some point, clash. I download all my favorite fics to Calibre and, when I’m earning more money (lol) I hope to print and bind many for my personal library. I’m also willing to re-share fic if others are looking for them, in order to celebrate the author’s work even if they no longer want anything to do with it. Not fanfiction in this case, but one of my fondest memories was being really into Phantom of the Opera as a kid and wanting, oh so desperately, to read Susan Kay’s Phantom. Problem was, it was out of print at the time, not available at my library, and this was before the age of popping online and finding a used copy. For all intents and purposes, based on my personal situation, this was a case of a book just disappearing from the world. So when an old fandom mom on the message boards I frequented offered to type her copy up chapter by chapter and share it with me, you can only imagine how overjoyed I was. Idk what her own situation was that something like scanning wouldn’t work, but the point is she spent months helping a fandom kid she barely knew simply because a story had resonated with her and she wanted to share it. That shit is powerful!

So if someone wants to delete—if that’s something they need right now—I believe that is, ultimately, their decision… but please try your hardest to remember that the art you put out into the world is having an impact and people will absolutely miss it when it’s gone. Often to the point of doing everything they can to put it back out into the world even if you decide to take it out. Hold onto that feeling. The love you have for your favorite fic, fanart, meta, whatever it is? Someone else has that for your work too. I guarantee it.

So take things down as needed, but for the love of everything keep copies for yourself. You may very well want to give it back to the world someday.

[peterrparrkerr]

So I was looking through my docs and I found the original story for Careful, He Bites and He Bites series.

I got most of the way finished with it when I decided to take a different direction. But I figured I'd post this anyway for fun!

*-*

Tony still didn't like the thought of them being in the compound. But there was nothing he could do to get them out. It's not like he owns the building or anything.

It all started with Steve and his long lost best friend. After Steve and Natasha were attacked by the Winter Soldier -who was said best friend from 70 years ago- a manhunt ensued.

Tony stayed out of it. If Steve wanted to risk his life for the Winter Soldier, he could.

What Tony didn't expect was for Steve to actually find Bucky. Or bring along someone else.

Tony tried to steer clear of them. He let Banner and Steve and Natasha and whoever the fuck else handle the two supersoldiers currently living in the basement.

That is until someone came up from said basement with a nasty bite. The agent died before Banner found an anti-venom.

Thats when Tony decides to get involved. He doesn't know much about anti-venoms or biology, but he's a scientist and an inventor.

His first trip down to the basement is like stepping into a horror movie. The lights are dim, and there's soft classical music playing on a record Steve brought down.

There are two cells, built strong enough to keep Banner in. In the left, was the Winter Soldier. He was sitting on the floor, back to the wall, one leg stretched out in front of him, and the other bent to support his elbow.

His steely blue eyes flickered up to Tony and Banner, then drifted to Steve, who was smiling at him.

The cage to the right made Tony shiver. The right had spiderwebs on the ceiling, connected to the walls and bars. He could faintly make out the other super soldier laying on the webs like one would a hammock.

Neither soldier moved.

"Hey, Buck," Steve greeted, walking right up to the cage. "Wanted to introduce you to a friend of mine."

Bucky's eyes move from Steve to Tony silently. It makes Tony want to turn around and run back upstairs.

"This is Tony Stark."

Tony manages to dip his chin in a single nod.

"I know who he is," Bucky said, turning his attention back to Steve. "You think he can get rid of it?"

Tony wonders if 'it' is the other on the cage beside him. But he doesn't say anything.

"No, Tony's here to see the kid," Steve confessed. "But I've been talking with someone from Wakanda who said she'd be willing to take a look."

Tony understands now. The coding HYDRA had tortured into Bucky's head. Trigger words to bring the assassin to the surface. Steve had been talking with Princess Shuri.

"How long?" Bucky asked. Tony doesn't listen to Steve's reply, because there's movement coming from the other cell.

Tony steps a bit to the side as the other -hes barely a teenager- makes his way out of the sanctum of his webs.

He's wearing the same outfit as Bucky, tan and baggy with a zipper on the front. Hes small, and moves with all the grace of a spider who knows his way around a web.

He doesn't take his eyes off Tony as he crawls across the ceiling. Banner says something under his breath that sounds frightened and Tony's inclined to agree with him.

The boy drops his feet until he's hanging by just his fingers, and then he -somehow- lets go of the ceiling and lands on silent feet to the floor.

"Вы помните доктора Бэннера?" (Do you remember Dr. Banner?) Bucky spoke in perfect Russian.

Tony watched wide brown eyes flicker to Banner, then return to Tony. Its eery. Its saying something when Tony Stark feels uncomfortable with the attention.

"кто он?" (Who is he?) The boy asked, tilting his head slowly to the side. He does so chin first, making him seem less human and more demonic horror movie villain.

"Тони Старк.  Железный человек," (Tony Stark. The Ironman)

Whatever Bucky responds with has the boy smiling, and Tony finally gets a decent look at a pair of finely pointed fangs.

"Он симпатичный," (He's pretty) he responds.

Bucky rolls his eyes. "His name is Peter," he says, finally looking at Tony. "Don't get too close, he bites."

Peter grins before pressing against the bars of the cage, arms resting through the slats between.

"You ruin my fun, Winter," Peter hums, and Tony wasn't sure why he was expecting the boy to have a Russian or German accent. He sounded like Bucky and Steve. New Yorker.

Those dark brown eyes move back to Tony, bright with mischief.

"You're here to see me?" He asked, the picture of innocence, even as he licks at his teeth, tongue rolling over the two points of his fangs.

They protrude just enough to be noticeable, but they're small, dainty and unassuming. Tony knew not to underestimate their punch.

"You put one of my guys in the ground," Tony said after clearing his throat.

Instantly, the smile dropped, and all innocence left the boy, leaving him looking cold and dangerous.

"Oh you can't be upset about that, Mr. Stark," Peter sighs, and Tony tries very hard to ignore how Peter calling him Mr. Stark does things to him.

But the boy's eyes are shining in amusement. Tony clears his throat.

"I can, actually," Tony said. "I'd like to get a few samples from you, run a few tests."

"Они такие же, как HYDRA," (they're just like HYDRA) Peter sneers, features darkening as he spins around, turning his back to Tony and Banner.

"ты убил одного из них," (you did kill one of them) Bucky responds. "что вы ожидали?" (What did you expect?)

Peter doesn't respond, just climbs the wall -cause thats normal- and disappears into his webbed cocoon.

"What was that about?" Banner asked, making his way to Bucky's side of the room quickly.

Bucky sighed and ran a hand through his dark hair.

"HYDRA isn't a nice place for people like Peter," was all he said.

Tony sighed and glanced at Banner. Silent communication was their thing, and it wasn't long before they were both on the same page.

If they couldn't run tests and get an anti-venom, they'd have to just remove the venom entirely.

It took three days of Tony and Banner researching the surgical procedure of removing venomous glands from snakes and spiders. Tony did some digging on tonsil removal -they still didn't know where the glands were, but between the two of them, Tony was confident they could perform the surgery successfully.

Two days before the surgery, Bucky was taken to Wakanda to undergo his own corrective surgery of sorts.

Peter had a tantrum.

Tony could hear Peter all the way from his lab, and after an hour he finally dropped what he was doing and stormed down stairs.

Peter was glaring, his eyes were shining with unshed tears and his arms were bleeding from self inflicted bite marks.

"Bring him back," Peter demanded, voice raw from the shouting and threatening. "Bring him back, right now!"

"Thats not going to happen, Peter," Tony said, shaking his head. Peter slammed his palm against the metal bars on a shout that nearly made Tony take a step back.

Peter spun around, fisting at his hair. Tony frowned at how Peter paced the cage, agitated and angry.

"Where did you take him."

"Steve took him to Wakanda-"

"Dont fucking lie to me," Peter snapped, spinning back around to face him. His upper lip was pulled back in a snarl, showing off glinting fangs. He snapped his teeth together once before pacing again.

"I'm not lying," Tony said, wincing when Peter bit into the meat of his own thumb.

"Bring him back."

"Hes already on a plane," Tony sighed. "This is good for him, Peter. He needs this."

Peter bit down on his hand again. Tony sighed. "You're going to hurt yourself."

"I'll heal," Peter growled. "I want Winter."

"He'll come back when his mind is free from whatever it is HYDRA did to him."

Peter sets his jaw and glares.

[ooops-i-arted]

(No spoilers here since I'm sure you haven't watched Ch14 att of this ask) But what did you think of S2E6 from a child development/Din's Dad skill's perspective?

One of the most interesting things to me is that we’re starting to get hints that Grogu is more developed than previously indicated, possibly more like a preschooler than a toddler.  It’s been mentioned that he’s been “trained” (although we don’t know what that entails yet*) and Gideon, interestingly, talks directly to Grogu like a person who is capable of understanding him.  The only other people who have really done this are Din (his caretaker) and Ahsoka (who is able to communicate with him via the Force).  Does Gideon know something we don’t about Grogu/his species/his development?  Or was he just desperate to monologue at someone and Grogu was his only available victim?

*Very curious what this “training” consists of.  It’s honestly borderline age-inappropriate to have formal lessons like you usually think of having at school at such a young age; children learn through play.  Meditation I can see, especially as a self-soothing or calm down tool that would be vital for children that can potentially kill you with their mind, but I wonder what else Grogu was taught at the Temple.  Maybe we’ll get more clarification when we find out exactly what he was trying to do at the seeing stone.

Anyway wasn’t that opening cockpit scene the cutest???  What a far cry from their first few scenes, where Din wouldn’t let the baby play with the orb or the buttons.  They’ve really gotten so close and comfortable with each other; no wonder Grogu doesn’t want to leave his daddy!  (Also Din has leveled up that Dad Voice; contrast “give me the ball” with “you stay right here, you stay, don’t move.”)  Also I loved Din narrating everything he was doing and thinking.  I model for my students like this all the time.  Din seems to have realized the importance of explaining things to the kid and even craves the connection and communication.  I really felt like while Din doesn’t want to give Grogu up at all, he would rather do what he believes is best for his child, rather than selfishly keep him, but he doesn’t want Grogu to feel abandoned or that Din doesn’t care about him.  So even though he’s not good at explaining that, he tries.  And Grogu in turn seems reluctant to do Jedi Stuff, knowing it will lead to Leaving Dad, but still does it anyway because Din wants him to, and kids want to please adults they care about.  Anything for that sweet, sweet positive reinforcement and praise (which Din gives).

Also maybe it’s just me, but something about the way Din said “I can’t train you” just gave me the vibe that maybe he’d thought about it?  Desperately Space Googled anything on the Holonet about How To Train Your Weird Green Magic Kid to see if maybe he could do it and find a way to keep him AND give Grogu the best education possible?  But ended up still resolving that he was gonna do what was truly best for the kid, even if it wasn’t what Din wanted for himself.  Cuz HE LOVES HIS SON SO MUCH.  Many Dad Points gained.

I also loved that Din does not know a single gotdamned thing about the Jedi, but STILL tries to help his son be The Best Jedi Ever by attempting to find a switch or something to help him do Whatever Jedi Stuff He Is Supposed To Be Doing, continuing his trend of being a proud coach from the sidelines for his boy.

Also this is 100% true to life, my students can confirm, one of them does this CONSTANTLY: Din:  okay I need you to do the thing Grogu: *does not do the thing, delays as long as possible* Din:  okay nevermind don’t do the thing it’s time to go on to the next thing Grogu: *immediately does what he was asked*

Which again is “defiance to regain control of the situation” behavior.  I mentioned that last time and I think it’s the same deal - Grogu feels out of control of what’s going on in his life, but it’s safe to act out with Din because he knows Din will not harm him.  So he does as opposed to shutting down.

But of course then he gets kidnapped, which has to be completely and utterly terrifying.  He’s been safe for a while now, with a caretaker who looks after him and makes all the bad and scary things go away.  The last thing he saw, he was safe with Dad.  But then he opens his eyes and there are bad scary droids all around who snatch him up and take him away from Dad!  Of course he is absolutely terrified!

We don’t see what happens between that and him in the cell.  But I’m guessing nothing good.  He’s back with things he associates with fear, violence, and death - stormtroopers and cold Imperial equipment - and he’s all alone.  Even if all that happens is getting dragged to his cell, that has to be overwhelmingly scary even for an adult, let alone a little one who isn’t emotionally mature enough to handle all that fear.

We also don’t know what started the violence we see at the end.  Grogu has not initiated violence onscreen so far; although it’s up to interpretation, even choking Cara was reactive imo (we see him looking scared before he does it, so I’ve always seen that scene as him misunderstanding and thinking Din was in danger).  Personally I’m inclined to think Gideon ordered the troopers to antagonize Grogu to see what he was capable of and to tire him out, but that’s pure speculation at this point.

Either way, this is the most violent we have seen Grogu so far.  Every other instance of Force use is purely practical, aimed to solve the problem at hand.  Mudhorn? Stop it from beating Dad.  Fireball? Push it away from my friends.  Greef’s injured?  Fix it up.  Even choking Cara is arguably just done to stop the “fight” Grogu perceives happening rather than make her suffer.  But these stormtroopers are being thrown, choked, tormented.  It’s not about keeping them away from him or protecting himself, it’s about hurting them.  So to slide over into Force commentary, imo that’s his first potential Dark Side slippage.  Because he’s acting out of fear and anger, not a desire to protect or solve a problem.

And as a general rule, kids don’t go instinctively for true violence.  They may hit and bite and stuff, but it’s a reactive thing to stop something they don’t like rather than truly wanting to hurt the other person.  So Grogu being that intentionally violent?  That’s bad, and not just from a Jedi perspective.  I worked with a very violent student a few years ago and that particular case was because of trauma/abuse in their past.  In Grogu’s case that’s possible, but I also think that for a long time he’s been normalizing violence.  I’m guessing he saw plenty even before Din got him, if he’s a Temple refugee (and has presumably received training about connecting to other Jedi) he possibly felt the death of thousands of other Jedi deeply through the Force, and ever since we’ve known him he has been exposed to LOTS of violence.  Even if Grogu is in his own mind/started out only trying to defend himself, he knows “the person I admire most in the entire galaxy would kill the fuck out of these guys, and then I would be safe, so maybe I should try that too.”  So not very good for Grogu’s psyche at all.  (Oh and on top of all of that, he presumably saw Gideon before, knows this man almost killed his daddy, and is now threatening him.  So a Scary Cherry on the Sundae of Fear.)

There’s a lot to chew on here and we’ll have to see where it goes - personally I hope Grogu can keep himself on the Light Side but I suspect he’s in grave danger right now, not just physically but emotionally and mentally as well.  And even if he gets out, the trauma would realistically have a lasting affect on him.  Din, hurry your butt up and get yourself more Dad Points!

[destihellhound]

We Write Our Own Destiny

Canon-divergent ending to 15x19, ignoring 15x20. Also on AO3 | ff

Tagging @destielintheimpala because she’s my best friend and @ineffable-cas because I remember seeing them asking to be tagged in any fix-it fics.

"I won't be hands on," Jack told them. "Chuck put himself in the story - that was his mistake. But I learned from you and my mother and Castiel that when people have to be their best, they can be. And that's what to believe in. Well... I'm really as close as this," he said, placing a hand over his heart. Then he raised his hand in a stationary, dorky wave. "Goodbye."

"Wait!" Dean said, as Jack turned to walk away. "What about Cas? Chuck pulled Lucifer out of the Empty, you can save Cas!"

Jack raised his hands, palms outwards. "I'm hands-off, Dean."

"But it's Cas," Dean growled, taking a threatening step forwards. "We can't get to him there, and it's not like the Empty is just going to give him back if we ask nicely." When Jack didn't seem at all inclined to change his mind, he tried a different approach. "You owe me."

"Uh, Dean?" Sam said hesitantly. "Maybe not a good idea to piss off the new... Him."

"It's Jack, Sam," Dean said, glancing over his shoulder. "The kid who killed our mother." He turned on Jack. "You said you wanted to make it up to me? This is how you do that!"

"Dean, I—" Jack's eyes glazed over for a second as his attention seemed to be focused elsewhere. "She really does have a soft spot for you Dean," Jack told him before disappearing in a burst of divine light.

Dean stared at the space where Jack had stood, just a moment before. What the hell did that mean? Had Amara persuaded Jack to change his mind, or was he still against interfering?

"Hello, Dean."

Dean froze at the familiar voice, almost afraid to turn around. The last time he'd heard Castiel's voice, it had been Lucifer. He swallowed around the lump that had formed in his throat. What if it was just another trick?

"Hello, Sam."

"Hey, Cas," Sam said warmly, and his brother's voice was enough to have Dean turning.

Cas was smiling at Sam, though still visibly confused as to why he was back on Earth. When he turned to Dean, however, his smile faltered.

Dean wished he could say something, anything, to wipe that insecurity off Castiel's face because the angel was back where he belonged. He was always better with actions than words, however, so he strode up to Cas and wrapped his arms around him, hands clenching in that god-awful trench coat.

"Dean," Castiel began, unsurely.

"Later, Cas," Dean murmured in his ear. "Let's go home."

Dean felt like a great weight had been lifted from him as the angel hugged him back; a weight he hadn't even realised had been dragging him down.

"I'll make burgers. You love burgers."

"Everything tastes like molecules to me."

"Not the point," Dean said, leading them back to the car. "You are a part of this family, Cas - don't ever forget it."

"Hey, Dean?" Sam asked, a sudden thought striking him. "Do you think Adam... Michael was destroyed, but do you think Jack brought Adam back?"

"I hope so," Dean said. "That kid deserves to catch a break. We'll reach out, make sure everyone we know is back, and put out the word that we're looking for him."

"Okay."

As they got nearer the Impala, Dean saw Miracle sitting patiently beside the rear door.

"Oh, hell no..."

"Do you think he's got an owner around here?" Sam asked, looking around.

"We're not keeping the dog, Sam."

"You've changed your tune."

"That was different, okay?" He'd just lost Cas. "It was supposed to just be us, and then there was this little miracle and—"

Miracle barked, as if recognising his name.

Dean sighed. Looked at Sam. Ignored his brother's puppy-dog eyes. Looked at Cas. Took in the angel's hangdog expression.

"Oh, for..." He trailed off in defeat. "I am not feeding him. I am not walking him. And I am not vacuuming the hair out of Baby! That's your job," Dean told Sam. "And if you don't keep her clean, I will shoot you, and then I'll shoot Mir— the dog!" He turned to Miracle. "And you are not riding shotgun!" He got in the car and slammed the door.

"Do you want to ride up front?" Sam asked Cas, failing to hide his amusement at Dean's feigned dislike of their adopted four-legged friend.

The angel responded by getting in the backseat with the dog.

As they began the long drive back to the bunker, Sam texted Eileen. His relief at getting a response was nothing compared to the relief and joy that wiped years off his face when she answered his video call and he saw her face.

His relief echoed the feeling flooding through Dean for getting Cas back, and he glanced at the angel in his rearview mirror.

"I love you," Sam told Eileen, doubling down on his feelings by communicating them through ASL as well.

"I love you, too," she said.

"Get a room, you two," Dean teased them.

Sam called him a jerk as he dug his headphones out.

Dean didn't think Sam had said those three little words to anyone since Jess, and Dean himself had never said them; could never bring himself to say them. He glanced at Cas in the mirror again, chest constricting at the thought of losing Cas again. He'd lost him too many times, and was terrified that he'd lose him again.

Sam arranged for Eileen to meet them at the bunker, but in the end Dean volunteered to take a detour to her house so that Sam could ride home with her. Thankfully he took Miracle, too, and Cas moved into the front passenger seat.

"Is it later, yet?" he asked, once they were back on the road.

Dean swallowed. He had meant later, once they'd eaten and he'd had a chance to figure out what the hell he wanted to say. "I guess it is."

Cas sat there silently, minutes dragging by, until Dean realised the angel was waiting for him to speak. Cas had said everything he'd had to say before the Empty took him, and now it was Dean's turn.

"Look, uh, I've never... Guys aren't something that... If you know me, then you know that..."

"I am a multi-dimensional wavelength of celestial intent," Cas reminded Dean patiently. "It is the vessel that I am possessing that presents as male." He squinted. "I could take a female vessel, if that is something you would—"

"No!" Dean exclaimed quickly.

Cas swallowed. "It's not my vessel," he realised sadly. "It's that my feelings for you are not returned."

"Dude, that's not what I'm—" Dean trailed a hand down his face. "Losing you, it hurts. It hurts as much as losing Sam, only it's different, and I don't know what that means."

"I think," Cas began carefully, "it means that you love me. But you need to decide what kind of love it is that you're feeling. Familial, platonic, romantic..."

"What?"

"Do you love me as family, as a friend, or as a romantic partner? I loved you as a friend, then as family, and I grew to love you romantically - but I don't love you because I have a desire for sexual intimacy with you. As an angel that would be as disappointing as eating - merely experiencing the physical and hormonal sensations without feeling the accompanying pleasure. Though if that was something you desired I would be more than willing to oblige, but I don't see that as being something you would have an interest in. At least, not in this vessel. Yet you are unwilling for me to change vessels."

"It wouldn't be you, then."

"I would still be me, Dean."

"I know, I just mean..."

"You've gotten used to seeing me as Jimmy Novak."

Dean coughed. "Way to make it weird, Cas."

"All I want is to spend your life with you," Cas told him.

"You've always been welcome to do that, Cas. But you leave."

"Or you send me away."

Dean swallowed, knowing that Cas was thinking about his time as a human - when Gadreel, pretending to be Ezekiel, had insisted that Castiel could not be around him. "I'm sorry," Dean apologised. He'd apologised before, and would keep apologising. "You needed me, and I should have been there for you."

"You made the choice you did out of your love for Sam," Cas acknowledged. "And that love is one of the many reasons that I love you. I would settle for living your life with you as your friend, as family, if that was all you desired. But I hope for you to desire more."

Dean frowned. "I thought you said you didn't want sex?"

Cas stared at him for a long moment. "Commitment, Dean. A promise to spend your life with me, faithfully."

And Dean nearly drove the car off the road as he realised that 'commitment' meant no more one night stands, no more casual flings. He was such an idiot... But the more he mulled over the meaning of Castiel's words, the more he surprised himself to realise that he was okay with the idea. Sure, sex was pleasurable and fun, but without a meaningful, emotional connection to the other person involved it lacked something that always left him feeling physically satisfied but otherwise empty.

"Would you ever have told me how you felt?" he blurted out. "If you hadn't been trying to save me from Billie?"

"I don't think so," Cas admitted.

"Why not?"

Castiel stared out of the window, looking away from Dean. "Because to hear you tell me that my feelings were not returned, or worse, for you to ask me to leave, is something that would hurt too much."

"The Empty's definitely not coming back for you, right?"

"No, Dean. Our deal was fulfilled."

"Then say it again, Cas."

Castiel turned to him, slowly, with hope in his eyes. "I love you," he said quietly.

Dean shot Cas a meaningful look. "I know."

Hurt momentarily crossed Castiel's face, before realisation dawned and he beamed. "I understand that reference."

Dean laughed, and pressed his foot down on the accelerator.

"So, what now?" Sam asked, once they'd all pushed their plates aside, stuffed full on Dean's homemade burgers.

"Everything we've ever done has been because Chuck wanted it that way," Dean said. "From before we were even born, Heaven was manipulating Mom and Dad into a relationship. Hunting has been my life, but I don't want the job title to define me."

"Job title?" Sam echoed, amused.

"Yeah. 'Hunter' - I want to be more than that."

"Such as?"

"A teacher," Dean said. "I was thinking about it on the drive home - the next generation of hunters are growing up fast, and they need help just like Bobby helped us. And you were doing good, running that network of hunters from here. That could be our future - making our own way. Not hunters, or Men of Letters, but combining that into something that is ours. From now on, we write our own destiny."

Sam nodded thoughtfully.

"And I want to retire. At least partially. I want to live a life. I want to live my life. I want to be a brother," he said, looking at Sam. "Maybe even a brother-in-law?" he asked, giving Eileen a look that caused her to blush and Sam to kick him under the table. "And a... partner," he finished, looking at Cas. He wasn't sure what the right word was to describe what he wanted with Cas, but he had time to figure it out.

Sam cleared his throat. "You cooked, Eileen and I will clean up," he said, gesturing at their dirty plates. "Why don't you and Cas go, uh, watch some Netflix. And maybe chill." He chuckled to himself.

"Sure, that sounds like a great idea," Dean said, standing up and dragging Cas out of his chair. He failed to understand what Sam found so funny. "Maybe we can finish Game of Thrones - I hear that show had a terrible ending..."

[captainkirkk]

So every single one of your YouTuber au asks gives me great joy bc like. When I read these I'm like "ah yes the true izuku" but when I read other fics I'm like I don't see it. I don't see unboxing vids, I don't see willfully malicious, & I don't see the like "I didnt think I'd have an impact on the community at large!!" in izuku at all. This feels like a natural extension of izuku. Hero analysis & nonsense analysis! All happening at once!! With the intent of being impactful!! (1/2)

This feels like an extension of his natural inclination to be a hero that saves people with a smile, too, bc like. His hero analysis is straightforward: here is how other heroes can improve, what he's noticed abt how hard theyve worked. His nonsense analysis is bc sometimes you need to laugh to get through the day, yknow? You're gonna think abt Which 1-A Kid Is Best At Cuddling & laugh abt how a manic kid got demonetized for singing 20 sec of All Might Anime Opening 4. Thanks for my life (2/2)

Ah thank you! I see this youtube channel starting as a way for Izuku to upload hero battles he’s filmed, and also help distribute information in the hero fan community (because he sees other people looking for analysis and he has those anaylsis, so why shouldn’t he make a resource for them?). And he continues it at UA, too. It’s a side hobby that helps distract him from real life, yes, sure, but he’s also in a better position now, information wise. He’s learning and growing and interacting with heroes all the time, and now he can better help other people understand heroics and how to be a hero.

Izuku loves helping people. And if he can do that by sharing anaylsis or going a bit crazy at 3am and giving strangers a reason to smile, then, well. Why shouldn’t he keep doing it?