#I've been in a constant state of stress since I've heard about it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ughgoaway · 9 months

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Yes so many constant teacher reader thoughts! What about early dating when she's had a really hard week at school, maybe she's been staying behind for parents night or something and is absolutely exhausted. She's not replying to Matty as much or just giving him short ideas and him being Matty starts to worry that she's having second thoughts about their relationship

Omg people having thoughts about my au is so cool… and this is such a good thought.

You and Matty have only recently started dating, maybe a month and a bit? And matty thinks it's been going perfectly, but he can't help but feel insecure about the relationship. He is so madly in love with you and has been for so long. He can't help but be nervous he's going to lose you. And he can't bear the thought because he's only just managed to get you.

You reassure him when he asks that you want to be with him, that you were also pining over him for months, and that this is exactly what you wanted that whole time.

And Matty believes you, for the most part. But there's always that sneaking thought of “what if”. What if she hates me? What if she regrets this relationship? What if she thinks im wrong for her? What if this is all wrong?

////

it's been a stressful week at work. You have parent evening at the end of the week, which means it's lots of late nights preparing everything you're gonna say to each parent. It might seem easy to talk to parents about their kid's progress, but it's one of the worst parts of being a teacher.

It seems parents either think their child is an angel on earth or the spawn of Satan. You say one thing they can improve upon, and suddenly, a parent is jumping down your throat, “How could you? My little Amy is perfect!!” or they start scolding the child in front of you “You are useless! Why can't you just focus for 5 bloody minutes??”

So you've been fucking exhausted all week, and you've cancelled on Matty twice. You had a date on Monday, but you saw the pile of work on your desk and messaged to reschedule for Wednesday.

Matty then didn't hear from you all of Tuesday or Wednesday, so was already nervous you were mad at him. But when you text to cancel on Wednesday? His heart fucking dropped.

You must be second-thinking this whole thing. Maybe you decided the risk to your job was too much, or maybe Matty isn't how you wanted him to be.

But in an attempt to stop himself from spiralling too much, he texts George and details his worries. Of course, George simply calls him a twat and says “Trust me, she likes you. It's sickening being around the two of you for more than 10 minutes.”

Matty wants to tell George he and Charli are no better, but he leaves it for today and takes his friend's words at face value.

So he texts back saying it's fine and that he misses you. and each minute that passes by with no response is killing Matty slowly.

After 45 minutes of silence, you just reply “<3”, which doesn't exactly help Matty’s mental state.

He texts you every day, and each day, your responses get shorter and shorter. Until it's Sunday, and he hasn't heard from you since Friday evening.

It's then he decides you must be rethinking this, rethinking him. there is no reason why you would be ignoring him otherwise. And it fucking shatters him, he goes into break-up mode before any break-up even happens.

He drops Annie off at Hanns and stops at Tesco, grabbing ice cream, red wine, and tissues. He wants to feel like a girl in a shit romantic comedy, so he's gonna do just that.

2 bottles of wine later, Matty thinks it's the perfect time to call you… despite it being 3 am. Needless to say, you don't answer. But Matty being Matty, he leaves a wine-drunk voicemail.

“Heyyyyy y/n. It's Matty. Your boyfriend. I think… anyway, im just calling to say you can just dump me, you know? You don't have to be nice or anything. I won't turn Annie against you. But I don't think I could even if I wanted to, m’ pretty sure she likes you more than me already. But whatever… I've had a few bottles of wine and just thought I should call and tell you im fineeee. Totally fineeee. So yeah, if we’re over of whatever, you can let me know. Because im fine. Like so fine…. Okay, bye.”

And with that, he passes out on the sofa, spilling wine on his rug that he will be forced to scrub tomorrow.

///////

It's 7 a.m., and Matty's head is banging, so much so it sounds like someone is hammering on his door. Oh, wait. Someone is hammering on his door.

He stumbles off the sofa and catches a glance in the mirror, his eyes are hollowed, and heavy bags sit beneath them. Half his curls are flattened and stuck to his head, whereas the others are sticking on end like he had been electrocuted.

“Ye-” he starts to speak as he opens the door, but you storm in talking before he can even get one word out.

“BREAK UP WITH YOU? WHY WOULD I BREAK UP WITH YOU?” You stand in Matty’s front room with your hands on your hips. clearly, you had stormed straight over here from your flat, not even bothering to get out of your Halloween pyjamas (it is like May btw <3).

Matty rubs at his eyes and blinks a few times, “what?” he asks, coughing as he finishes because Jesus Christ, his throat feels like it's full of sandpaper.

“...do you seriously not remember?” you shake your head at Matty with wide eyes, and he nervously shakes his head, and he swears he can almost see the steam coming out of your ears.

“Matty. You called me at 3 in the morning telling me to dump you. Why the fuck would you think that? Why would I ever dump you?” your voice is softer now and you've come closer to Matty, and he can see any rage you might have had was never really anger.

It was fear. Pure fucking fear.

“Oh.. that,” Matty says shyly, rubbing at his face and pulling it down.

“Yup. that,” you say, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Okay, im so sorry about that,” Matty starts to explain, desperate to get you to understand his fucking crazy brain, “I had a few bottles of wine and my stupid anxiety took over. You hadn't really spoken to me this week, and you cancelled our date, so I convinced myself you were having second thoughts. And drunk Matty thought the best course of action was a long rambling voicemail reassuring you that you can dump me.”

You nod slowly, and Matty seemingly can't stop his word vomit, “And you can if you want to! But I really don't want you to. Like at all. Im actually kind of obsessed with you, if im honest” Matty steps closer to you and pulls you into his chest.

Your arms remain limp at your sides for the first few seconds, and Matty wants to die. But just before he pulls away, your arms slip over his shoulders, and your fingers wind into his curls at the back of his neck.

You burrow your head in his neck, and Matty can feel you nodding, “Okay. That makes sense” he breathes a sigh of relief. Thank GOD you didn't dump him then and there.

You snap back and look at him intensely before saying, “But just so you know, I was planning for parent's evening this whole week. That's why I was so quiet. And I would never break up with you just by ghosting you. And if im being totally honest, I would never break up with you in the first place. or ever, really."

Matty nods and can't help the smile that comes on his face, you don't want to break up with him. ever.

You snap your fingers in front of his face before he can get too happy, “Hey don't you start smiling. I’m still pissed off at you… but you are especially cute in the mornings, so I feel you’re trying to manipulate me into forgiving you... are you?”

“Well that depends, is it working?” he teases

“Maybe... Shut up.”

#love the idea... not so sure about my execution #but oh nervous matty #like babe. im literally beyond obessed with you #there couldnt be less to worry about #teacher au!#anon!

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maximotts · 2 years

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𝙻𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚘𝚗 𝚃𝚠𝚘; 𝙰 𝙱𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚏 𝙷𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚏𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚝

a/n: Wanda, you sweet baby bean, I'm sorry people suck. That's all I've gotta say about this chapter uhm... please don't yell at me too much, I promise it's all going to be So Fine

✎— priest's daughter!Wanda x college student!reader

✎— confessions AU; a surprise over lunch leads you to spend a lot more time with Wanda. You like her and she does as well, but not everyone is happy about your new friend

✎— warnings: this is an 18+ series, minors DNI; I've said before since turning this into a series we're going to have a slower, more subtle corruption kink so: mentions of handsiness/groping, Wanda being a shy yearning gay, R being a terrible student, bullying, jealousy, Wanda shedding a tear because my friends seem to think I need to make that a warning

✎— words: 5.5k

series masterlist. || main masterlist.

Even with your lunch offer, Wanda couldn’t bring herself to let you do all the work; after picking up sandwiches from her favorite deli, she directed you down the block to her -and apparently, your- apartment building. When realization set in, the two of you had a laugh until you suggested going to your unit.

“You’re serious?”

“What, afraid I’m luring you into my apartment to have my way with you?” Wanda didn’t respond to that, just shook her head as you quickly discovered she did whenever she was talking herself out of a thought. Oh what you’d give to see what was running through that imagination. “Such a good girl, not trusting strangers, but I don’t bite, I promise. We can go to yours instead?”

She had to have told you her apartment number along the way because you’d gotten there with ease, guiding her down the hall with a hand on her back, but two simple words made her forget the whole walk. Wanda was a good kid, an amazing student, she’d heard words of encouragement so many times over the years— none of it affected her how it had earlier.

If you noticed her nerves, you were gracious enough not to point them out even as she carelessly dropped her bag to the floor and ran to the bathroom, shutting the door tight. Wanda calmed herself with a splash of water and a quick talking to, reminding to keep it together. This wasn’t a date, it wasn’t anything, it was lunch. All this meant was you were a decent enough human not to stoop to the level of an overgrown schoolyard bully and feeling bad doesn’t make them a friend. Certainly didn’t mean she had a chance with you.

That rationale didn’t stop her from talking out her nerves in the form of oversharing.

From that, you learned a lot about Wanda. She’s a twin, the younger one as her brother Pietro so often loved to remind her. They were close, but when it came time to choose colleges, he decided on another university in the next state over— mostly because of a very generous track scholarship he was offered. She nearly went with him, wanting to take advantage of their massive literature program, but their father said it’d break his heart if both of them left and Wanda, darling daughter that she is, caved and attended a more local school.

Part of her compromise was being allowed her apartment. Leaving home to live off-campus by herself was an instant no, but for once, Wanda pushed. It was around the same cost of any room and board fees and she had the freedom she insisted on having. Partially to live away from home, but mostly because the possibility of rooming with one of her childhood enemies was high and she’d rather go without college than deal with that stress.

“I raised such a fuss that night, Pietro thought I’d lost my mind. It’s worth it, I think. I like it here.” Here in what turned out to be your shared building, blaming different schedules on why you’d never run into the other. In the end, her dad could rarely hold firm against Wanda’s puppy dog eyes and constant pleas and she won the small space now filled with various plants and cozy furnishings.

“Well, I for one, am very happy to find out the cute girl I’ve been wanting to talk to only lives a few floors away.” You said it so casually, like it was easy as chewing your ham and cheese sandwich to call her cute. It wasn’t helping that she’s just being nice mantra Wanda had going in her head to keep her calm.

While you ate, Wanda searched for any other reason you’d be so flirtatious and came up empty. Still, she couldn’t discount her inexperience for how she perceived your wanting to have lunch, your compliments, even the comment about asking her to dinner could’ve just been a passing joke she hung on to too seriously. She’d never been allowed to date, not that it mattered with how she got treated like the plague, and she didn’t know the first thing about well, anything. Somehow Pietro fared much better in that sense, sneaking out and rebelling any chance he could.

Some nights when she couldn’t sleep, Wanda would catch him stumbling out of the woods that bordered their backyard and tired as she was, helped him climb through the window, questioning him all the while about his disheveled clothes and the glittery lip gloss smeared along his neck. “Stop being dad’s golden child and maybe you’ll find out one day.” Wanda never was bold enough to try nor did she like the options to try with. None of her classmates were interesting enough to be worth getting in trouble for.

The few times she did go out, the situation got the better of her and she had more anxiety than rowdiness. Wanda tried, really she did, there was just so much to remember: how to drink, who to drink with, the perfect things to say and no matter what, she always came up short. Then came that dreadful night after junior prom; her fatal mistake— distressed to the point of tears, Wanda called her father to pick her up, not thinking how not parent-approved the activities swirling around were. His appearance and the subsequent adult discourse at church the next morning solidified her status as Westview’s pious snitch. Ultimately, as much as she hated talking about it, even after Pietro took her side and offered to take matters into his own hands, she didn’t regret it for one day.

Opportunities to act out quickly dropped to zero after that incident. College was supposed to be better, new people and new surroundings, maybe a whole new her if she could figure out how to upgrade, but the proximity to her hometown made the past three years an extended high school. And then, there you were, shiny and brand new, straight out of her prayers— but they got to you first.

Wanda resigned herself to staring at you in class, watching you text under the table with Carol Danvers who’d given you her number almost as soon as you’d first sat in your chair. If you’d been in the front of the class, she’d have slipped you her number instead; that’s what she told herself at least. Everyone else was too fast and forward, and Wanda didn’t stand a chance when everyone’s classes overlapped as much as they did. Each time Wanda caught you looking back at her, she turned away so fast she missed your smile or the silent waves you tried sending her way, too afraid to see if you’d regard her with the same disdain your new acquaintances offered.

There weren’t a lot of people in class today; the middle of the semester meant burn out was creeping in, students skipped more now, but you were there in your usual spot, empty seats all around. If you weren’t always cutting your arrival so short, Wanda could’ve moved next to you, but class began and, not wanting to disrupt, she stayed put. Those next ninety minutes were the most distracted she’d been her entire college career, solidifying exactly how she’d introduce herself, act cool and collected while she gave you her handwritten phone number, written and rejected countless times over so Wanda could draw the little heart at the end just right. She’d been so close too, just feet away from your desk; Brock always had a way of ruining even her best laid plans.

“Earth to Wanda, where’d you go?”

“Huh?” The poor girl had been staring much too intently at her crumpled sandwich wrapper for the last few minutes, having decided she wasn’t listening when she didn’t react after your suggestion to run away and buy an RV. Wanda was adorable when she zoned off, playing with her rings absentmindedly and spinning them around her fingers, but you did wonder where she flew off to. “Sorry, I got distracted.”

“Clearly…” Gathering any lingering trash gave Wanda a task away from your watchful gaze, wiping off the table with another mumbled apology before skipping off to the kitchen. She took a deep breath, steadying herself against what to do now that she’d gotten this far. Her plan only went as far as exchanging phone numbers, maybe putting the digits in your phone if she was brave enough, but you’d skipped that stage and gotten straight to the apartment hangouts and she was… lost.

Luckily for Wanda, you had no problem taking charge. The moment she returned to the living room, you took hold of her arm and pulled her down until she was finally sitting right next to you instead of her far off spot. All of lunch she’d been far away and selfishly, you missed how close you’d been when you walked earlier. Now with Wanda’s thigh brushing against yours, you could see each one of her little reactions intimately. “What’s going on in that head?”

“I was thinking about earlier and got carried away, nothing important.” Wanda shook her head again, hoping to settle at least a fraction of the blush that’d overtaken her face, but when she tried to pull her hand away from yours, you held tight. As much as she loved the feeling of your warm, steady hand wrapped around her cold and shaky one, Wanda feared growing too used to it too fast and having to fight not seeking out your touch from then on.

“If it’s got you this frazzled, it’s gotta be some kind of important. You can tell me, I promise.” You almost wondered aloud who you’d tell, but she didn’t need to be reminded of who you talked to. Not that you’d ever say anything, no, mostly you just wanted to see Wanda all sweet and flustered, committing the sight to memory on the off chance she kept her distance after today.

She stared hard, judging your sincerity before deciding whether or not she’d lie or divulge the truth. Unpracticed as she was with this, Wanda wasn’t an idiot; this afternoon was nice, but she couldn’t blurt out her crush only a few hours after your first official meeting. She could tell half-truths, thoughts buzzing in her brain that ranked lower on the exposure scale to hopefully not scare you away. “Well.. you know how I tried talking to you in class?”

You nodded, politely letting her continue, and Wanda bit the inside of her cheek, trying painfully hard not to think about your thumb rubbing over the back of her hand. It was a small gesture, obviously, but it meant everything to Wanda who’d never been on the receiving end of such gentle reassurance. “I’d been waiting to do that since the first week of class.”

So you weren’t imagining her sneaking glances at each class; good to know you could still sense when someone was into you. Most girls tended to talk way before Wanda did and you started wondering if your attraction to her made her small acknowledgments into something a lot bigger than it actually was. “Why didn’t you?”

“Someone else always got there first.” The truth was embarrassing. As isolated as Wanda had been, she didn’t actively dislike most of her peers. It was that one particular group you hung out with that seemed to go out of their way to not only make Wanda’s life hell, but also warn anyone they possibly could away from ever giving her a chance. She grew up being taught hateful behavior only bred more hate, that it wasn’t polite or productive, but if there was anyone she hated, it was them.

When she saw you with Brock and Carol and the rest of their tiring friend group, she nearly cursed aloud, strangely mad that of all the transfers, they had to get you too— it wasn’t fair. In her defense, Wanda gave ignoring you a good, honest try, but every time she saw you wander through the door, she wanted to be the one who waved you over, who sat with you and leaned in close or put a flirtatious little kiss on your cheek. “You seemed..busy.”

Finally, once the jealousy threatened to consume her alive, she did change course, ignoring you wasn’t working so why not try talking? Worst case scenario, you tell her to shoo or get lost; painful, but nothing she hadn’t heard before. When she heard Brock talking about her, the brunette swore she felt her heart drop into her stomach, any hope she had of possibly getting close to you just… dashed in an instant. She had to pack her stuff quickly, not because she was afraid, but because she felt so embarrassed she knew she’d cry if she heard another word of that conversation.

“I’m not stupid, I know they talk about me. They don’t really try to hide how they feel.” Wanda’s laugh held a bitter edge, laced with the defeat of someone who knew what to expect when trying to make new friends. “I just- I didn’t want to interfere or get you involved with any of their weird… whatever and.. I don’t know, it didn’t seem like it’d go over well to talk to you when you’re already friends with them.”

At first you laughed, disbelieving Wanda could ever think you were off limits just because you’d spent a month or so interacting with people who, admittedly, weren’t the greatest, but one look at Wanda’s troubled face showed she was all too serious. “I can talk to more than one person, you know!”

You weren’t the type to blindly follow everything someone said, preferring to make your own judgements, and after a few hours with Wanda you could tell that, just as expected, she truly wasn’t as bad as everyone made her out to be. Shy and reserved, sure, but you couldn’t count those as bad qualities. Not when she was just as gentle, funny, and kind as you’d imagined she’d be.

“It’s always more than just one person talking or inviting you somewhere or shoving their phone in your face asking you to text them…” The last part was mumbled, but you caught it all the same. Her earlier confirmed watching combined with that last comment had the last piece sliding into place so perfectly in your head, you’re sure you heard a snap.

Wanda didn’t just want to say hi, she wanted what she saw; flirtatious texts, low-spoken promises of naughty after class activities— not that Wanda knew that’s what she was asking for. Sweet thing… you’d show her how it all worked.

“Can I tell you a secret?” You beckoned her closer with a finger and she leant in with innocent curiosity, shivering as you came to whisper in her ear. “I’d rather text you so I’d like your number, if you don’t mind.”

It was the truth; sure you messed around with one of two girls since being here, but none of them stopped you wanting the darling girl in front of you. The longer you sat with her, the more you wanted to know and not just to sleep with her. Not that Wanda would probably let you right away; she didn’t have to say it for you to know she was virginal as a little lamb.

Your lips brushed against her cheek, the barest hint of a kiss, but it stunned Wanda all the same. She pulled back, searching for her phone much more intently than needed to play off how affected she really was. “Does that mean you want to have lunch again?”

“I want to do a lot more than just have lunch with you but..” Eventually you gave Wanda your own phone to give the poor girl something to do where she was not so subtly scrambling. When she handed you hers, you punched your number in and as she took it back, you watched her sign your name off with a set of hearts. How precious. “Yes, if you want to?”

Wanda agreed perhaps a little too eagerly, but she couldn’t stop herself planning your next lunch date complete with food she made herself. She really hoped you liked homemade things. “Absolutely!”

♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡

And so it went like that for the following weeks, walking around campus with Wanda and having lunch together when you were both free, going to her apartment multiple times a week to collaborate on school things or just to talk to her. Whatever you were doing, Wanda was a pleasure to be around and she never complained when you copied her answers on homework or came over just to lay on her couch and watch movies.

For Wanda’s part, she might as well have been in heaven; having someone to spend time with regularly was nicer than she remembered. Of course, growing up, she had Pietro, but this was different. You made her laugh just as much as he did, but you didn’t torment her nearly as much, and the big difference, obviously, was that she most certainly did not want to kiss her brother.

When she showed up to your apartment door with a box of heart-shaped sandwiches, she felt silly, but the moment your face lit up when you laid eyes on them… she wanted to drop the food and kiss you until you fell to the floor.

But she’d always wanted her first kiss to be special, memorable and at least pleasant; it couldn’t be over a stupid sandwich in a doorway. So Wanda waited until.. well, until she felt the time was right to politely ask.

You made her nervous, not in the frightened way others had, but with a giddy, butterflies in her stomach feeling that left Wanda always wanting more. If you’d asked Wanda a few months ago, she’d say her ideal romance was to be blissfully swept off her feet like she’d seen in movies, brought flowers, chocolates, and lovingly courted until she finally says yes— meeting you through all of that out her balcony window. For the first time in her life, Wanda wanted what she’d seen her peers get ever since hormones descended over her sixth grade class. She craved casually possessive hugs and touches, that anticipated first kiss… special private time she’d stumbled upon during late-night internet browsing.

The first one thankfully Wanda didn’t have to wait for.

Startling as it was the next day when you not only walked with Wanda to class, but traded your spot in the back of the class to coax her to sit off to the side, she didn’t complain. How could she when you insisted sitting next to her made class more bearable; whether it was true or not, Wanda couldn’t know, but she didn’t care, the compliment made her blush every time.

A chair next to the top student should’ve meant you paid more attention, but it was the opposite. Before you’d watched Wanda from afar, now with her close, you couldn’t help but stare longer, much more intrigued with how she bit her tongue whenever she concentrated than anything your professors taught.

Even more since you’d begun vying for her attention during class, Wanda liked to ask questions of them after lectures were done, getting clarification for anything she couldn’t pick up in the discussion. Jokingly, you called her a nerd, but you took her notes to study from all the same so you figured the least you could do was hang back and wait for her— the perfect opportunity for Carol to strike up a conversation.

“She wheeled you right on in, didn’t she?” The blonde also went to school with Wanda and while she wasn’t ever directly antagonistic towards your new friend, she’d never made an effort to include her either. To you Carol was nice enough; if you were being honest, you hadn’t given it much thought whenever you fell into bed with her.

Hanging out with Wanda meant abandoning your typical seat next to Carol in your Wednesday morning class and while you missed her sharp banter and the silly drawings she snuck in the corners of your notebooks, nothing beat sliding your arm around Wanda and toying with her skirt under the desk. She didn’t fully know what you were up to, grew squirmy as she felt the room’s chill on her thighs, but even when you pinched at her hips, Wanda didn’t want to cause a class disruption by protesting.

Not that you and Carol hadn’t done the same, but Wanda’s reactions were so pure and sweet, just like her. Carol was fun, but Wanda was something else entirely and you actually wanted to get to know her. The brunette was easy to be around in a way you couldn’t remember experiencing and where Wanda didn’t go out of her way to mention your first friend group, you didn’t miss the judgemental looks Carol shot Wanda’s way whether the brunette’s back was turned or not. “It’s easy when you’re not an asshole. Try it sometime.”

She brushed off your comment, sliding further in your line of sight until she blocked your view of Wanda at the podium. What you two shared might’ve not been serious, but losing your situationship to someone like Wanda was an ego hit Carol refused to believe was actually real. “I’m having a party on Saturday. You’re coming.”

“Guess I’ll cancel my plans…” The singular party of Carol’s you’d been to was a riot. Admittedly, you didn’t remember much besides large hits from shared pre-rolls and waking up in her bed the next morning with a pleasurable ache between your legs, but even after stumbling back to your apartment with a throbbing headache, you were more than excited at the prospect of going to another. Coincidentally, that particularly reckless night was days before you first talked to Wanda and now, only a few weeks later, you hesitated.

“Is anyone invited?” You searched over Carol’s shoulder to find Wanda still chatting away, dutifully scribbling down something your professor was referring to. You couldn’t imagine she’d be upset if you went at all; Wanda might even appreciate a Saturday night to herself after you’d wormed your way into her plans week after week. It was you who didn’t want to go to the party without her.

Both of you knew the singular ‘anyone’ you were referring to, and Carol’s expression soured. “I said I’m having a party, not bible study.”

Sam walked over then, the large guy you’d met at orientation having also made fast friends with the people who threw the best after hours get-togethers. He was nice enough, louder than his roommate Steve, but always a fun time. “Come on, Danvers, she can’t be that bad. Besides, isn’t her dad like, an hour away now?”

Word really did travel fast on this campus. Even new kids retained personal facts about the girl who didn’t know the first thing about them, but Sam was another one who hadn’t bought into the group verdict on Wanda and for that, you were grateful. If you did bring Wanda along, you thankfully wouldn’t be the only one looking out for her. Not that you planned on letting her out of your sight. “I doubt she’d call the police.”

“Doesn’t sound like something I’d want to chance.” She wouldn’t get grounded like she had back in high school, but violating the lease on the house she and her friends rented wasn’t in the cards either. Catching sight of Wanda making her way back over to where the three of you gathered, she nudged your shoulder and you felt a heavy lump in your throat. The last thing you wanted was to be caught talking about her, much less make her believe you were plotting anything malicious.

Carol was well aware of your growing soft spot in the past few weeks, taking note how you instantly shifted focus away from Wanda whenever someone dared bring her up in your presence; it’d almost be sweet if she didn’t hate her. And so, instead of cutting the chat short, Carol waited until she was sure Wanda was within earshot, “If she ruins anything, it’s on you.”

Wanda, reticent as she was, strolled right up to you with a smile, but your stunned face made her brow furrow. She knew she’d been the topic of conversation, both having caught the tail end of Carol’s conditions and gauging the apprehension you regarded her with.

“Look who it is, missionary of the hour…” Carol mumbled, Sam only getting a fraction of his snicker out before you shut him up with a warning glare.

With a nervous breath, you tried playing it off, but the blonde’s icy temperament was impossible to mask, “We were just talking about this thing Carol’s got going on Saturday, but it’s a party so…”

Wanda nodded, ignoring the other woman completely, which only made her stew further. Honestly whatever was said wouldn’t be anything new; she did have a terrible reputation for disrupting parties and she was far past expecting to be wanted there. The hesitation didn’t bother her, but Carol did; if she could come out on top just once, she’d die happy.

So this time, instead of being forced to watch Carol flirt with you and exchange texts in class, Wanda was the one who’d spent hours getting to know you and the last lecture blushing through your teasing, pushing you away when you got too handsy, giggling into her hands when you told her something especially funny; she knew, on some undescribed level, you liked her better.

Maybe that’s where the confidence to link her arm with yours and press a chaste kiss into your temple stemmed from, “Well, I love parties! We have to go!”

If your eyes weren’t already wide enough to fall out of your head, they certainly were now. The blonde’s eyes narrowed, darting between the two of you while Sam, loud as ever, laughed at the clear and present tension between the two women on either side of you. “Last thing: Don’t let her wear anything like…” Carol gestured to Wanda, dressed in a light floral dress and one of her favorite cozy sweaters, “that. I’m not having a church social.”

Wanda’s grip loosened at the insult, brief confidence struck down as fast as it’d come, but you didn’t let her fall away completely, winding your arms around her midsection. “I told her she should wear this sweater today. But don’t worry, she’ll look even cuter than she normally does.” Scooting the stunned girl closer until she was snug between your legs, you kissed her cheek and gave her a squeeze of reassurance.

When Wanda didn’t move a singular muscle, shoulders still slumped, you wished there was a hug tight enough to say I’m sorry I let them hurt you again. “See you Saturday!”

You never did thrive amidst conflict, preferring to sit back and let any drama go by far away from you, but it wasn’t fair staying silent when Wanda could barely stand up for herself. Whether it was your defense of Wanda’s outfit choice or your protective hold you kept, your defense was enough to get Carol to roll her eyes and back off for now, “Fine whatever, I’ll text you the details later.”

Sam left you with a pat on the back, shaking his head at the tension he happened to stumble in on and couldn’t wait to tell Steve and Bucky, “Way to stand up for your girl, kiddo, well done.”

“Don’t call me kiddo! You’re maybe six months older than me, and she’s not my— fuck, whatever.” He was jogging out the door before you could correct him, but you dropped your arms anyway and Wanda tried to ignore the loss she felt. She longed to admit she needed at minimum five more minutes of that hug to truly keep her tears at bay, but she couldn’t ask.

It was bad enough you had to lie about picking her sweater; Wanda threw it on not only because it kept her warm in the often chilly lecture halls, but Pietro bought it for her years ago for her birthday and the familiar fabric kept her calm. She wore the sweater and her current dress often enough for the outfit to be considered a wardrobe staple, Carol saw it constantly; there was no way she didn’t know how pointed her insult was. “Sorry about that…”

Wanda half expected you to run after Carol, trying to smooth things over with her for the sake of preserving whatever you two had that Wanda threatened. Instead she found her hand loosely caught in yours, thumb rubbing over it just as you had the first day she shared her anxieties, and when dim green eyes traveled from your touch to your face, she saw concern so genuine Wanda wanted to fall back into your arms and sob. Not only for herself, but for you and how much of a burden she feared she was already becoming. Her family always dubbed her the crybaby and she couldn’t deny it; of the three of them, Wanda was the first to let her eyes go watery. The only thing worse than dealing with what you’d just witnessed would be having to console the crying mess of your new friend.

But you wouldn’t have minded, not one bit. “Don’t apologize when you didn’t do anything wrong. That’s not fair,” You spotted her frown and longed to ask her what you could do to help, but as soon as you opened your mouth, Wanda pulled away.

She was quick to replace her sad expression with another smile, pushing your forgotten books into your now empty hands. If you didn’t watch her so much, the sudden change wouldn’t mean anything, but the smile she was trying so hard to pass off didn’t reach her eyes— it wasn’t real. “You’re going to be late for class again, get moving.”

“Well yeah, but…” Clearly, Wanda was deflecting again, you’d be a fool to miss the nervous way she hugged herself tight as if she could hide the knee length dress she’d walked out of her apartment in so happily just hours ago. Choosing the sweater wasn’t a lie, but what you thought about her look wasn’t; Wanda dressed in a comfortable yet sweet style you found wholly endearing. “Are you alright? I didn’t mean for all that to happen, I only wanted to ask if I could bring you along.”

The brunette scoffed loudly and in the interest of not making the situation any worse, you ignored how her voice cracked, “I’m fine, don’t worry about me.”

“Right okay, I just- I’ll see you later then? If you’re up for it?” If Wanda didn’t want to talk about it now, maybe this afternoon she’d be up to discuss and unfortunately, she was right. You only had about ten minutes now to rush across the courtyard to your next lecture; no time to argue with her. It was too early in the semester to routinely skip all of your classes.

Wanda joined you to the door, hands tight around her backpack strap. The walk was short, too short; you hated leaving her to fend for herself when she was obviously still upset. You’d make it up to her later, maybe ask her favorite movie and bring over pizza to watch it with her. For now, resolved to be on time, you left her with a hurried wave and a clumsy sprint that admittedly did make her chuckle just a little, “You know where to find me!”

With you gone, tears pricked at the corners of her eyes and Wanda wiped them away with the knit sleeve of the sweater she couldn’t stand wearing right now. It was too cold out to only have her shoulders exposed, but she tore it off anyways, bundling it as small as she could in her clammy palms.

She walked briskly, destination clear, but for once, she wasn’t going home. Any other time, Wanda would’ve been polite enough to text ahead and assure she was welcome, but the harder it got to hold back a full cry, the less she worried about etiquette. If anyone could tell her what to do, how to proceed, anything… it was them.

From the class schedules they’d shared with her at the beginning of the year, they should be in; Wanda hoped their ‘you’re welcome whenever you want some company, no questions asked’ sentiment held true just this once.

The route home seemed endless, late summer breezes stinging her blotched cheeks; she looked a mess and she knew it, her frazzled appearance driving her to practically run down her apartment floor hall. Wanda knocked on the door just a few doors down from her own, the one she hated to bother but loved being in all the same, “I know it’s the middle of the day, but I really need your help, please?”

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x fem!reader #wanda maximoff x female reader #wanda maximoff fic #wanda maximoff au #wanda maximoff fluff #wanda maximoff series #wanda maximoff imagine #marvel imagine #confessions au.#motts writes.#maximotts

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persefolli · 1 year

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𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐍𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐲𝐚𝐦 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐅𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟

𝐑𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝? 𝐘𝐞𝐬

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @iwanttogohomeandtakeanap, @ms5m1th, @18lkpeters, @isimpforfictionalppl, @yukichan67, @laylasbunbunny , @jakesullyscocksleeve , @neteyamyawne , @fanboyluvr , @myheartfollower , @letsloveimagines , @xylianasblog , @papichulo120627 , @tigermoon3

𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

“Great work today Y/n.” Jake said to you. You nodded, hopping off your ikran and nodding to him.

You kept your deadpan face as you bid your team goodbye and headed to your home for a short while. It's been a busy week, and the attacks against the RDA have become more frequent.

As a squad leader you were expected to show up every day, every night, and sometimes, it did become overwhelming.

Being a warrior meant you had little to no time for your personal life. You lived with your mother, who urged you all the time to let loose for once and find friends, or a husband, but you opted not to since your sights were set on becoming general.

Luckily, after today you had a few days off from all the chaos. Usually, you would complain until the next day of action came, but you felt yourself involuntarily crashing. You were exhausted and hungry.

You washed your war paint off in a bowl before changing into more comfortable clothing and heading out to the forest.

You took your usual route, thinking about what you might find. You found yourself craving some fresh Utumauti, so that became the staple in your diet for the day.

After dropping down from the rocks that led to the caverns above, you walked along a nearby stream, looking up at the trees to see if you could spot the fruit. After a few minutes you found it, smiling softly to yourself.

You began to climb the tree, but quickly dropped back down when a few Syaksyuk’s swung by, took the fruit, and scurried away. You groaned in frustration and sat on a rock, feet in the stream. You ran your hands over your face and through your hair, huffing and looking back to where the fruit was.

Little did you know that ever since you left the village, Neteyam was trailing close behind you. He didn't mean to follow you but he couldn't help but to see what you did when you weren't working. He originally came to hunt but got carried away.

He saw the incident with the syaksyuk, but when he looked back down at you he didn't expect to see you throwing a tantrum, stomping your feet in the water.

Strangely, he knew where you were coming from.

He backed up a little bit before running off to a spot in the forest where he knew Utumauti grew with great wealth. He chopped down an entire batch before walking back to where you sat. He noticed your zoned out state, but sat next to you.

“Here.” He said, not wanting to annoy you any more than you already were.

You jumped and widened your eyes. Not only was Neteyam sitting next to you, but he was giving you your favorite fruit. Neteyam was like royalty, even though he and his brother didn't act like it. But even this was very humble of him.

“Thank you.” You said quietly and began peeling the fruit.

Neteyam watched you silently as he ate, before turning to face forward so he didn't weird you out.

“What brings you out here?” You asked.

“Just…needed a break.”

“Felt.” You said in response.

“Really?” Neteyam asked. “You usually have it all together. I was actually surprised to see you out here.”

You fell quiet for a few moments before shrugging. “I mean any other time I don't have time to be alone with my thoughts. It's just constant work and stress you know?”

“I get it.” Neteyam got more comfortable on the rock next to you. “It's always the future of the clan that falls in our hands. I've heard that speech one too many times.” He said somberly.

You nodded, urging him to continue.

“I love the clan, and I love my parents but…sometimes I wish it wasn't up to me. If i'm not stressing about the clan i'm stressing about my siblings. It's like i'm already Olo’eyktan and I haven’t even finished my training.”

You sighed before chuckling yourself. “My mom is the exact opposite.” You started. “She wants me to focus less on the clan and more of my personal life. Says I'm not getting any younger and that I need to find myself a husband before it's too late.”

“But you wanna be general right?”

Your head snapped up, not knowing that Neteyam was so observant.

“Yeah…I do.”

“I say kill two birds with one stone. You can do both.”

You nodded along, taking in his words of encouragement.

The two of you went back and forth ranting about everything, your lives, your families. It felt comfortable talking with someone for once.

You’d rested your head on Neteyam’s shoulder, which he tended up at. He quickly regrouped and continued talking. He ranted for a long while, until he realized you fell asleep mid-rant. He didn't take offense to it though, it felt good to say everything out loud. And you listened to a bit of it, and it mattered to him.

It also comforted him knowing that one of the strongest warriors had struggles as well, it made him feel less alone.

Once he finished, he smiled at your sleeping figure and laid down, you laying beside him. He pulled you into his side and you nuzzled on his chest. Neteyam found himself falling into a deep sleep too.

---

Hours later you woke up, feeling strangely relaxed. The type of relaxed where you didn't want to move from whatever position you were in.

Averting your eyes to the side, you saw blue, which alarmed you. You quickly sat up and scooted away, looking at him in horror. The sudden movement caused Neteyam to sit up too, alert and ready, but once he realized it was only you he sighed deeply in relief.

“How did you sleep?”

You placed your hand on your hand and stood, slightly panicking. You got too comfortable, got too cozy with Neteyam. It could've been anyone else, anyone other than the Olo'eyktan's son.

Neteyam sensed your stress and stood up, holding out his hands in an attempt to calm you down. “Hey, hey, talk to me Y/n.”

“I shouldn't have- nevermind, thank you for- '' You groaned in frustration and began walking off.

Neteyam stood confused before walking after you. “Y/n!” He shouted. “I thought we were having a good- was I talking too much?”

“Oh Teyam.” You felt bad, realizing you were probably blowing him off. “That's not. I didn't mean to…I didn't mean to fall asleep.” You softened your tone

“It's fine, Y/n.” Neteyam nodded towards you.“I know you're not used to being a people person, or getting comfortable around people, but I don't mind.”

“You don't?”

“No…I don't mind I- Honestly I would be honored to look out for you.” He confessed. “I find myself relating to you a lot more than I expected, don't tell me you don't feel the same.”

You nodded. “I do, actually. I actually envied you Sully's for a while.”

Neteyam chuckled, “Trust me there's nothing to envy.”

The two of you shared a soft smile and a nod.

“So what, is this some type of support system.”

Neteyam let out a laugh, “I mean, if that's what you wanna call it.”

“Okay,” You smiled. “Support system it is”

#persefolliwrites #persefolli #wattpad #avatar the way of water #angst #atwow #avatar #avatar2 #neteyam #neteyam sully #neteyam x reader #neteyam fluff #neteyam comfort

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jazzyblusnowflake · 2 years

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Why not move? I’d never stay in a country that treats its women this way. And you working for the government indirectly supports that. Good luck.

Okay so

i've been mulling over this ever since it came to my inbox and i've been trying to find a way to answer this and NOT be impolite or improper because i am aware that not everyone knows the complications of straight up moving to a different country, as it is not as simple as just moving to a different STATE, like the US, [and to be fair i've heard that even THAT could be stressful] and as someone who has LIVED in 3 countries and has visited another 5+ countries, let me tell you that your question is extremely ignorant and insensitive and straight up hurtful to all the people who both DONT want to leave their communities here and also the people who DO want to leave but are too poor to do so.... because our country, due to the prohibition by good ol' murica has now the lowest money currency value on the PLANET, and we have been suffering in silence for DECADES- with NO way to transfer money into our country- [donation campaigns are usually a scam, pay attention to those please] so in short? we are poor as absolute FUCK-!

and the process of moving somewhere else is already hard enough for people who DONT have as much financial issues, let alone US.

what exactly would anyone propose we do? when we dont have the money to request for any sort of visa, nor to get a house in a different country, nor food, nor for studying, living, getting medical or MENTAL health help- etc etc etc???

and reports of smuggling people out of the country usually come back as human trafficking or the gov blew them up or killed them somehow? idk this has actually happened with a PLANE once-

the only way to leave this country is being filthy rich, fucking LUCKY, or just a very very VERY smart student which again more often than not requires both money AND luck to get accepted in any university... so again.... no money!!!

like im sorry for snapping but here i am being told "why don't you leave" as if i haven't tried to find a way all my life, as if its some sort of sick joke- i cant, i fucking CANT!- i have family members i care about and wouldn't want to leave- other countries treat us like garbage thanks to online media portraying us as monsters- i cant spend another 10 years to study shit all over again just to send a letter to foreign universities with barely enough luck because im NOT that smart at all!! and it reminds me of when i look at my dad and say i wish we lived somewhere else and he looks at me like "then leave" in the cruelest way imaginable because he KNOWS we cant fucking leave due to him being a diplomat-

every country has its own culture and history and communities that they value and want to protect and stand by, so people cant just LEAVE, and even if they do, more often than not, other places would never accept them or appreciate them the same way their own country would. Like did yall tell black people to leave america after the BLM movement when George Floyd got killed? this is our home and we need to stop saying "then leave" and start saying "we need to start fixing this shit"

we are so fucking tired. please stop saying "then leave" if you just "don't want to help"...

as for me working for the gov, my dad is already a diplomat and keeps me away from doing anything against the regime, and also i'm considered one of the LUCKY ones in my country, who has a job that ensures a constant pay since the first semester of UNIVERSITY. im one of the few that could actually have a meal at night without worrying about what i'm going to eat tomorrow, and at the same time i teach kids from the inside to not take shit from the gov. i consider myself VERY lucky.

we aren't playing a videogame to take shallow black and white SIDES- even the protesters have destroyed privet properties and peoples cars and etc etc, and some people straight up want the monarchy system back as if that very system wasn't the entire reason that half of our countries riches and history isn't in the BRITISH museum today instead of their homeland!! this shit started over the freedom to WEAR what we want not to HURT everyone in blind rage!!!

Please never say "just leave" to anyone else ever again, especially to someone who doesn't even know if they'll live another day stepping out of the door, let alone drive all the way to an airport or the country boarders or something.... if they even HAVE the money to go that far.

So thankyou for reading and being concerned in your own way but id rather stay here and die in a country that doesn't accept me as a WOMAN than to live a futureless life in a country that wouldn't even accept me as a PERSON.

#mahsa amini #mahsaamini #opiran #free iran #iran #islamic republic of iran #snow rambles

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wordsbymae · 2 years

Note

I really like Alwyn. He’s such a adorable guy. When he called reader a “heifer” my heart soared, but I could relate to reader on probably not wanting to be called that. Like unless I’m dressed up in a cute cow costume don’t even compare me to a cow, 😭😭😭. And o felt that having reader now have a degradation kink is such a cool thing to do, because usually when I read about insecure readers they almost always have a degradation kink (which isn’t bad, I still like reading those) I felt when you incorporate in her character it made her unique from any other insecure reader I have read before, especially since she’s a lady and was taught to be treated like such. Also I just love that he has a build shrine for her. I can imagine how feral he will be when she’s pregnant and her after glow after being pregnant. Do you think he’ll have a lactation kink 🤔? I feel like he would do, because this man (like you don’t already know this : D) has no shame 💀. Watching her waddling around, getting a bit big for the baby (force feeding by Alwyn), I can see him wanting to throw her on the bed and have some fun under the sheets, but since she’s in such a fragile state his overprotection mode is going overdrive. It’s a constant internal struggle, she’s so sexy that he want to rough her up a bit, but she’s always pregnant with his child so he wants to handle her as if she delicate glass. And getting fucked in front his men 🫣, me personally would get embarrassed 😭😭😭. Also I felt that since they live in something kind of medieval time period I feel like they wouldn’t use words like “tits” “sexy” ( because sexy wasn’t created till the 1920s and tits were invented in the 20 century) not to be disrespectful or anything, I thought to make it better was maybe change a bit of the dialogue 🤏. I can imagine the little nicknames he would come up with for his kids, especially if it’s a girl who looked just like reader. I feel like he would make a amazing girl dad. Would praise her beauty, set high standards for any man he who has the guts to even consider approaching his little girl, spoil her, etc. I had watched this one Tiktok where this infant daughter had cried when her dad came home and didn’t immediately pick her up, so when he did she stopped crying and started to smile and laugh, it was so cute 🥰, but the mom was “wow, isn’t she just spoiled 😀” 😭😭😭. She’ll have Alwyn wrapped around her finger. I sorry I haven’t been talking to you, just I had a lot of stuff to do like school assignments and such. Hoped you like this :)

That's totally fine! You don't have to apologise, I've been a bit busy as well. Yes, I loved it!

Hehe I actually quite like the nickname heifer, I don't know why but when it's said in a kind and loving way with my, pretty or sweet in front I don't mind it. But yeah in the case of the reader she thinks it refers to looks or weight or just how some people call women cows in a nasty way so she doesn't really see his thought process behind it. To be honest, if someone called me a heifer I would have to think back on our entire relationship and conversations to make sure it was meant nicely.

Yeah, I don't mind degradation in fics either and it made more sense to me for the reader to want to be praised. She's never been praised for a lot of things in her life, especially when it comes to romantic things, so to hear all the things she's heard her sisters been called and all the things she longed to be called said to her in such a loving and awestruck way just melts her heart. I wanna stress again that Alwyn is lucky he's the first one to ever voice his attraction to the reader, he's lucky that he happened to be the first man to ask on the last day. Otherwise, the reader really would have allowed anyone who showed attraction to her to marry her (which isn't very healthy but I wanna show how desperate she is for love). Oh yeah, she's a lady! Her dad's youngest too, she might not have ever had anyone show her attraction but she has been given respect by her peers and subjects since she was born, so yeah she gets mad when Alwyn doesn't give her that.

I am debating whether to eventually have the reader get pregnant just cause I already have it written in Freddy's and I have it planned it for the Mad King's stories, and I know some people aren't comfortable with it (unlike us two :D ) and since Alwyn is my most popular story I don't want to marginalise anyone. I will probably do a short drabble on it but not have it 'canon' if some people don't want to. But!!!!! I really love the idea of it. He would have no idea what to do and yeah exactly like you said he would go to pick the reader up and then freak out and just be in this constant battle of wanting to touch the reader and then pulling away last second.

Oh boy does he have no shame! Like I said in another drabble, he is down for whatever, so if the reader was pregnant fuck yeah he would be into lactation kink. Also, I think it would quite funny cause before the baby she was his pretty heifer in his mind but now (and if he ever called her this he would be dead) she's his pretty cow.

It would make me so embarrassed too! I wasn't going to put it in but Alwyn is all about attention so it is very him to wanna do that and it turns him on knowing that his men will probably get off later to the memory of his wife's moans but knowing they can never have her.

Haha! Probably, I was torn between making it historically accurate in terms of dialogue and making it easier to read for the readers. There are places I know I slipped into modern slang and things but it was hard to come up with dialogue that flowed and didn't seem as cold. I know I did better in my mad king series but I think it's because (even though there's a shadow demon) to me that one is more historical than this one. To me this one is fantasy. But thank you for telling me! I'll have a look through it and see if I can change some things.

Alwyn would be a great girl dad! I love those thoughts and ideas! I can see him having her on his shoulders as he goes about his business around the camp and she even orders the men around with her arms crossed on top of her dad's shoulders.

Thank you for your thoughts! I loved it!!!!!! :D <3

Also to the anon! I have seen your ask but I have to rush to an exam and then work so I won't be able to answer it till tonight! But I have seen it and I love it!

Lots of love Mae xx

#autumn :)#yandere x reader #yandere #oc #mae answers #female reader #pregnancy

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excitingrbl · 1 year

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it'll be two years next month...

...that I've been legally divorced.

I knew it was definitely the end in 2016. meaning, there would be no more reconciling or attempts to for the greater good of the family. the other party had some other agenda still in mind because no matter how clear I was that a divorce was needed, I was met with resistance until 2020. that logically tallies up to be only 4 years but I stated that we should get a divorce after we had been married a year. I was told that I was giving up too easily.

if you haven't heard this from anyone else, please listen when I say that choosing to walk away from abuse (doesn't matter the kind; walk away from it) and/or toxic behavior that is not changing is not just giving up. there is no right way to stay in a harmful situation, mentally, physically, otherwise. unfortunately, if your partner isn't leaving visible bruises, scars, or causing obvious signs of neglect, people will minimize your shit. as hard as it may be to get through that alone, I do encourage pushing through.

it'll be two years next month that I've been legally divorced with the ex-husband having a child support decree of $182/per month. since he wasn't working at the time of the divorce, the amount was based on his attained education. since we've been divorced, he's had 3 different jobs. I haven't taken him back to court. he also went back to school and if I'm not mistaken, has completed whatever he returned for so that means more education. I haven't taken him back to court.

because I don't want the hassle of court, as long as he pays what he was decreed to pay, he'll hear nothing from me. does my daughter deserve more support than this? OF FUCKING COURSE. she deserves emotional support from BOTH of her parents. she deserves financial support from BOTH of her parents. before anyone says the $182 IS financial support, sure. however, anyone actively raising a child full-time knows that $182 is insulting to the amount required to provide for a child every month. so when he doesn't pay or pay on time, it's a reminder of how much he doesn't care.

he didn't decide out of the kindness of his heart to give me $182 a month to contribute to the raising of his child. he pays it because the court told him he has to as a result of us getting divorced. during the divorce, I found out that he pays two of the mothers he had children with after our daughter, $200 a piece. even more of an insult that there's not even a thought of rounding up $18. I pause when this thought crosses my mind because if he was truly paying the other mothers $200 a month but didn't even care to send anything for our daughter until he was told he had to, what makes me think he gives a fuck enough to round up? silly me.

why didn't I seek child support prior to the divorce is a question I've been asked here and there. the amount of mental stress required to follow through with everything wasn't ever worth it to me. the paperwork alone is enough to fuel whatever rage I have tucked away to keep moving forward. 21 pages of a document asking the basic of questions but because they're so basic, it's a constant poking of the bear kind of thing. there's also a chance that I will have to prove he's the father, beyond the birth certificate. even more insulting and a reminder that I was once involved with someone who really don't give a fuck about nobody but himself.

I'm also reminded that he's supposed to pay 50% of all our daughter's medical bills. he doesn't because I don't send him the bills. he didn't have a job so what good would it do? we're supposed to tell each other whenever we move and give each other the new addresses. I still don't have a address of where he lives to this day. I even reminded him when I moved. nothing.

these are all things for which I can take him back to court. however, it will be on my dime. much like literally everything else. the divorce he refused for years, included. so I often sit and ask myself "is going to court worth it?" and because he knows this much about me, he "safely" assumes I won't take him to court. stress is a major trigger to my diabetes being unmanageable so these assumptions are no longer safe to make. I shouldn't have to remind a father to pay a crumb of financial support every month. not even once should I have to remind a father to give a fuck, even if it is a small one. especially when no one has to remind me to provide for our child every day, week, month, year of her life.

and when we reduce this entire post down to that, it's clear to see why I asked for the divorce the first time, 10 years ago. no one should have to remind you to take care of anyone you claim to love. if you need reminders, you might also need to sit with your definitions of love and priorities.

#LIFE #divorce #child support #stress #irresponsible #parenting

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n4stasia · 2 months

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Sword Art Online

Sword Art Online... You either love it or hate it. I've heard about this title countless times, including my significant other who deterred me from watching it a couple of years ago. If I were to have an unlimited source of time, perhaps in a virtual reality, I would watch the whole thing merely for the sake of being more objective and thorough in my reflection. Hence, I'm limited to a short number of episodes that were assigned to us.

Getting back to 'love it or hate it,' I actually don't have any strong emotions about this anime. I think of it as mid. Again, like with Eden of the East, the plot is great! The execution is just underwhelming. I would love this anime to be a bit more mature, since the questions it raises assume an older audience.

The core idea of SAO is getting trapped in the VR game against the will of the players. Since the game is so immersive and hyper-realistic thanks to an advanced VR headset, the players are basically put into a parallel dimension. Here, we can stop for a minute and wonder: what exactly makes Aincrad a simulation? Yes, they are trapped in a helmet unable to carry on with their lives in the 'real world,' but they have another life in the game. Their experiences, emotions, friendships, and challenges are very real and valid, at least while they are inside of the Aincrad.

One thing I found interesting is how the main characters slowly acclimated to their new circumstances. I think Sword Art Online perfectly pictures the idea of the human brain being remarkably adaptable. Humans cannot function in a constant state of stress and despair, for which our brains have developed defense mechanisms. Asuna and Kirito went through all the stages of acceptance. They slowly grew to love their new world, to the point of fearing a comeback to reality.

Virtual reality and simulation discussions have never been hotter than today. And despite my personal anime preferences, SAO was one of the first successful pioneers to depict the idea of a simulated world with the help of technology, which I certainly appreciate.

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ovaryacted · 4 months

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hi nic! this was about the recent post u made!

forgive me if im wrong but, isn’t it possible to maybe make a complaint about your upstairs neighbor being too loud?😭 anyway i hope you’ll be able to resolve it soon bc i know way too well how obnoxious and tiring it is to live w a neighbor being too loud😵‍💫😵‍💫

i hope u had a good time outside tho, and have a good day/night!🥹

Hi Hi! Omg I've been meaning to answer, I'm so sorry my life's just been busy currently with everything going on. I did have a good time outside, and I hope you're doing good too!

But you're not wrong! Technically if I really wanted to, and trust me I have thought about it, I could have made a formal complaint to the department of housing in my city and they would essentially come into the apartment complex I live in to investigate the issue. I'm pretty sure the people in the apartment above me would either be fined for the constant noise pollution or get a written legal citation, but I haven't done that because the situation isn't as easy as I wished it was. (Little rant & housing explanations lol).

I live in a very expensive city where like most people in the country, everyone is living paycheck to paycheck trying to find a way to get housing that won't put a dent in the rest of their expenses. To curb that, people rent out the bedrooms in their apartment to other people with one person's name on the lease, so it looks like they're the one paying the rent. It seems smart but this is actually illegal in a lot of buildings and apartment complexes (cause of landlords and shit), including mine, and that's the situation going on upstairs.

Me and my family have lived in this apartment building basically since before I was born, so a little over 20 years give or take and it's a rent controlled building hence why people want to stay here. My parents know everyone here, including the neighbor upstairs that have lived in this building for a very long time. She recently rented out one of the bedrooms in her apartment (3 total because my apartment has 3) to a woman with two kids back in late 2023 and literally ever since then, I've had issues with hearing footsteps, jumping, slamming, everything in the book on the floor above me and only in my bedroom. The rest of my family don't deal with this so it's literally just me, and we've never had to deal with noisy neighbors until now.

At first I really didn't want to get involved because these are new people so I just hoped it would go away, but the noise was literally nonstop. Me and my parents have been going back and forth with that woman and her kids since February of this year to get the kids to calm down or at least just have more awareness of the noise they do make. I mean, I was hearing them from the moment I woke up at 7 am for work, to the moment I got home and went to bed around 12 am. That's insane.

If I were to report the woman upstairs for having her kids making too much noise to the point where it causes me actual distress and I can't be in my own bedroom, the city will come to investigate and realize that my neighbor is renting out the bedrooms in her apartment, and they can all get into legal trouble or worse like eviction. The world is already stressful beyond belief and housing is such a serious crisis in the United States that the last thing I need to do is to be the reason why someone becomes unhoused.

I also am 100% sure that kids are just going to be kids, and they have a lot of energy, they need space to run around and don't always understand why what they do can affect someone else. But at the same time, it's honestly ridiculous that after almost 6 months of telling them upstairs to cut down on the noise, I still hear it from time to time. It's definitely calmed down significantly since then, and I'm thankful for that, but it still irks me when I do hear anything upstairs because I've heard so much of it that anything puts me on edge and that sucks.

I still live with my parents because I'm lucky enough to have my own bedroom and own space, and though I want to move out, it's just not realistic with how expensive everything is and how insane the housing market is becoming. So I kind of just have to suffer for the meantime and hope the noise really stops completely or that little family moves out and I don't have to deal with it again.

#ovaryacted asks #this took so long to explain #super sorry but it's a complicated issue lmao!#but I hope this explains things

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unsc-offical · 1 year

Text

Straight into hell

Chapter 2 part 3

Liam and the captain walked forward into the cafeteria

"my name's Reynolds. Cpt Reynolds. We started here with 29 people in this cafeteria. Most of them died during the securing of the surrounding halls hours ago. We payed for how fast we moved. You won't find a single person in this room to be very willing to strike up a conversation right now, so it's probably best to be quick. We have 2 civilian cooks in the kitchen you can see everyone else left in front of you. I'm going go back with Raymond and Amelia and take them back. Go make some friends. You'll need them."

Reynolds began walking away but then stopped before the door; "oh, once you've familialized yourself with the marines. Take Mable on a supply run to a nearby armoury. She needs to learn how to handle her weapon."

"who's Mable?" asked Liam

"the combat Engineer." Answered Reynolds.

"She looks like she's been in the core since I was born?" Liam confusedly stated

"nah, new recruit as of 12 hours ago. Anyway, Got to go." Reynolds said as he started jogging back to Raymond and Amelia.

Chapter 2 part 4

Liam approached the very shaky man first. Being back at their base seemed to do nothing to calm him.

"hey there. How are you, you seem understandably stressed, is there anything I can do to help?" Liam asked calmly, he had been around a lot of traumatized soldiers back when he was a medic piloting a medevac Pelican, and knew the guy probably needed someone to comfort him, so he sat down next to the marine to hear what he had to say.

The Marine broke into tears and Liam put an hand on his shoulder

"so many of them are gone" the marine said shakily through tears

"... we left Jess behind *sob* and he was my friend *sob* and now he's gone *sob* everyone I knew is gone *sob*"

The marine who was named Don cried into Liam's armor until Liam wrapped a blanket around him and got him to go to his bunk.

Liam went to go check on the medic and the very bandaged up marine.

"hey y'all. How are we feeling?" Liam asked

"besides the constant death close by and my very cut up body, pretty good. I try to be optimistic about our chances. And I've been injured worse many times before." Said the marine

"'names mark. You can call me mark, if you'd like. I'm the demolitions guy. And I accidentally demolished myself as well as a horde of the undead."

"nice to meet you. You should probably rest up soon after she finishes up here."

Liam looked over to the medic. "By the way, what's your nam-"

"I am Medical officer Orellios. Please leave my patient alone. He is good in my care."

"alright sorry I was just checking on our injured coworkers, I'll be on my way now."

Liam walked to the kitchen and two men stepped out. One looked like a stereotypical Italian New Yorker from the 2450's and the other looked like he had been serving on the ship for 50 years

"what can I get for ya?" The older one asked. "We got all the worst mre flavors. The red curry and pad Thai that is not at all red, spinach feta quiche that is not at all quiche shaped or feta tasting, we also have some taco pizza and breadsticks left but I'm saving those so we can have something good as our collective last meals. Hey Remy, do we got any pork ribs and cornbread left? I wouldn't feed the cornbread to a starving kitten let alone a mostly nurished guy with options but the pork ribs are better than the other options. That stuff may be supposed to be cornbread but I don't think it's anything like it. Anyway here's the pork ribs, fresh off the flame. Enjoy. Oh the name's rawb by the way. Been working as a cook here most of my life."

"rawb? What happened? You look like you've been through 8 tours in what, a week since I last saw you? It's Liam by the way." He said as he took off his helmet.

"good to see ya alive Liam. We'll talk more soon. Go eat up. I heard you're going on a supply run right after."

#halo #halo 3 odst #halo mcc #unsc #oni #halo the series #halo oc #halo Straight into hell

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kierancampire · 2 years

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I don't like complaining about the girls, firstly i feel it makes me look bad, but also i don't want to seem like i can't handle them.

But it's just Coraline. I feel like i have literally said this since day 1. I don't know what i can do with this cat sometimes. It is always her.

So for about 2 months now she is screaming at me constantly because she wants to play this one game with this one toy. She stopped playing with Ember, her other toys, and even stopped snuggling me as much. But the thing is, when i woke up, when i ate breakfast, was going toilet, having lunch, dinner, just trying to relax, going to bed, she literally screamed at me the whole time. I upped our play to around 2 hours a day on average, yet it still wasn't enough. After around 2 months of this and her yet again screaming at me all morning, i hid the toy as i just couldn't cope with the constant screaming any more.

So why the photo of the Sakura thing? Ever since i have gotten the girls they have constantly gone on this table, and i have CONSTANTLY instantly told them off for it because i was worried they'd break it, as this thing is so fragile and so fucking difficult to fix. So any tine they go on that table, it is instantly "No, get off the table." and i move them.

4 fucking times this month alone. I am not joking. She has never broken it before. But 4 fucking times now this month alone, Coraline has broken this thing. 4 times this month. No matter how much i tell her off for going on the table, she won't stop doing it.

And the easy solution? Just move it. Sure. But do you know what? I have gotten rid of nearly all of my plants, i have so few left. I did it for the girls. I have got rid of other things i own and kept, why? I did it for the girls. I have moved so many things about in my home and changed so much? Why? For the girls. Look at the state of my home. Look at the mould. Look at how for over a year now, i have been fighting my HA because they gave me a flat in winter with non-functioning doors and windows, everything was falling apart, everything as broken. And look how i am still fighting them because so much is left undone. Look at everything I've gone through these past few years. All i want is tgis thing by my bed. I'm not asking for much in return for the hell i feel trapped in. Also i use the light on it to help with my night terrors. I stopped talking about them but they happen a lot, and nightmares.

But i just can't keep telling these cats off for the same few things, 5 times a day, every day, for multiple months now, and seeing no progress. I have had to start getting my shoes in and out of the wardrobe every time i want them, as they destroy my shoes otherwise, they completely destroyed the memory foam insoles on shoes i just got this year, literally destroyed them. Brand new shoes.

I feel bad, but after the 4th time i lost it. I have kept so much bottled in for so long and it just exploded out, i screamed so loud that everything went silent afterwards, i even heard my neighbours comment on my scream. But i just, everything is so stressful lately, everything is so miserable, nothing is going right, nothing's okay, nothing is happy. I love these girls, i do, they make me so happy and have provided so much to my life, i am never letting them go, i cry every time i think about getting them spayed because going without them for a while and seeing them in pain destroys me, and just thinking about it makes me cry every time. But i just don't know how i can keep repeating myself 5 times a day, every day, for multiple months, and see no progress. And Coraline is such a demanding cat, Ember's fine, i love Coraline, i do, but she is just such hard work and i am struggling to keep up with her by this point. They have so many toys, i spend so much time with them, but it's just not enough. Like my housing association, i spend so much time fighting with them, yet look where it's got me, almost nowhere now over a year later

I just wish one thing was okay, i wish one thing was going right, i just wish one thing, just one thing, wasn't stressful and hurting me. I'm so burnt out on life by this point, again, i can't kill myself, but my birth was a mistake, I've never lived, I've never had a good life, I've just been trapped in abuse and pain since the day i was born, i have suffered every day, if i could go back and change one thing, it'd be that, this never should have happened

#personal

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mayomkun · 3 years

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Since PayPal has changed its policy in my country so I wouldn't be able to receive payment after 18th February unless being a registered business account, I'm gonna have to close my commissions for a while. In the mean time I'll clear the rest of the commissions and look for alternatives if I ever find one.

#thai small artists & freelancers panic #Maybe I'll try Payoneer or Wise since those are available here #but I'm not sure if they can receive from paypal since most of my client would be using it #I've been in a constant state of stress since I've heard about it #might gonna take some time off to do comms and catch up on DW :/#to say I really don't like it here is an understatement #mayom mumbles

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phaticserpent · 2 years

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Can I please get some hardcore Ultron smut? If you're comfortable with it of course❤️. And if you are could you dab in some intimidation and some ehem.... Ultron backing the reader up to the wall!

Make that a x Fem reader 🤝

Yess, it's been a while since I've written some smut for Ultron so I hope you like it!

Warning: smut, power play

You had just gotten out of the shower and lazily dried your hair, throwing on a baggy shirt and not even bothering with pants. You made your way back to the living room where Ultron was lounging. The minute you sat next to him, you could hear the way his vents grew louder. You smirked to yourself as you stretched across the couch, slipping your legs onto his lap. Ultron glanced at you and you blinked innocently.

"Any plans for tomorrow?" You asked him. Your eyes went from the book you picked up to gaze up at him. Ultron seemed to think before shaking his head.

"Nothing's come up, but you know I'll inform you beforehand." Ultron promised. You nodded and continued reading. You couldn't focus on the book, you were too busy distracted by Ultron. With a sly grin, you closed the book and in the process of getting up, your foot grazed against his crotch. Earning a slight jerk and grunt. You smirked as you left to return the book to the bookshelf. There was a sudden looming presence over you as you placed the book on the shelf; you turned around to face Ultron, who's hand flew to your hips. "Hmm? What was that little act back there?"

"What act?"

"Don't play dumb with me." Ultron drawled. "You know what I'm talking about." Your heart was pounding and you knew that Ultron felt and heard it.

"My foot slipped."

"Well, at least you admit it." Ultron chuckled. Lord almighty, you were about to— "Don't think for one second that I don't know what you're doing." His face inched near your face, his cheek brushing past your cheek as he buried his lips onto the crook of your neck. You melted as he bit a small area.

"Gods, Ultron–" you whined. Your hands reaching out to ground yourself. "Please, I want you."

"You have me." He sighed, one of his hands tracing down from your hips to your thighs. Your knees almost buckled from that one soft sensation. "And I can't stress this enough, you're mine." At the roughness of his voice, Ultron moved your undergarment to the side as his finger prodded at your sex. You jerked when his finger brushed against your clit.

"P-please." You whined in desperation, bucking your hips towards Ultron's touch. He tsked at you.

"So eager. Have some patience." Ultron hummed, pinning you against the bookshelf. Thankfully, it was nailed down so it wouldn't collapse on the two of you. Picking you up, Ultron began to carry you towards the bedroom. Your hands trailed up his body, a certain area made him tense up and let out a heavenly moan. Not even making it to the bedroom, Ultron pushed you against a bare wall. You let out a grunt from the impact as Ultron nipped at the side of your neck. "Can't wait anymore." He pushed down your undergarment as you began taking off your shirt. Ultron easily pulled off your shirt with one hand. You let out a soft moan when he rested his head on your chest, placing gentle kisses on your collarbone. You let out a whimper when Ultron pushed a finger inside, your entire body becoming weak as he began pumping in and out.

"Please please, I need you." You whispered, arching your back to press against Ultron.

"Mm, you know I can't do that." He chuckled. "I don't want to hurt you."

"I don't care, be rough with me." You huffed. Ultron simply ignored you as he inserted another finger, while his thumb rubbed your clit. You cried out as he began thrusting his fingers. The constant overstimulation and toying on your clit pushed you over the edge one too many times. Ultron hummed at the mess you made on his hand as your thighs trembled. Your body went limp, leaning into Ultron who chuckled at your state.

"We're not even done." You let out a short whine when you felt him lift you. He carefully carried you to the bedroom and slowly lowered you on the bed. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. His hand brushed through your hair and lightly yanked it to the side, causing you to gasp as his lips trailed down to your neck. When he pulled back, Ultron tilted his head and asked, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"You seemed out of it." Ultron furrowed his brows.

"I'm alright." You reassured. "I trust you. And I'll let you know if something's wrong." Ultron nodded but kept a close watch on your expression as he lined himself up. He seemed to hesitate and before you could ask, Ultron pulled you in for a kiss. As your body relaxed, he pushed inside and you broke the kiss with a gasp.

"F-fuck." Ultron stammered, his grip moved to your hips, and he slowly pushed the remaining length inside. Your grip on his arms tightened as you cried out. Ultron stilled, peppering your face and neck with kisses. "You're so good, you take me so well." He praised. You let out a choked moan as he began to roll his hips.

"Please please, f-fuck." You don't know what you were asking for, but your whimpers and moans grew more uncontrollable when Ultron increased his pace. He nipped the side of your neck as his hands pushed your hips down, leaving the tip in before slamming the rest of his cock back inside. You let out a startled gasp and a choked scream, but he muffled your cries with a kiss on the lips. Though he pulled away when he sensed that you needed air. Believe it or not, you found yourself reaching your high a few minutes after; moaning as you clenched around Ultron. He hung his head to relish the sensation and continued to thrust inside, pushing your orgasm into you.

"Gods," Ultron huffed. "You feel so good." He pulled out abruptly, a commanding tone for you to turn around and he slipped back inside.

"Ultro–mmf." Your moans were cut off as he pushed your face into the pillow, pounding into you consistently.

"Is this okay? Let me know when it's too much." Ultron sighed and you nodded. Without another word, he snapped his hips forward. You grunted and cried out from the force, gripping onto the sheets as he pounded into you. You didn't have enough time to cry out when you reached your orgasm, but Ultron still persisted. He leaned down, angling himself as he thrusted inside, causing your body to jerk against him. He chuckled as he bit the nape of your neck, forcing another orgasm out of you. "Fuck, making me feel so good......you're... mine." Ultron shuddered. After a couple rounds, he reached his orgasm and stilled, groaning in relief and pleasure. Your entire body was sore, every touch of his was static.

"Mmm, are you satisfied?" You asked, staring into his eyes.

He gazed back fondly. "No." You threw your head back with a groan as he laughed. The two of you ended up cuddling until sleep overtook you both.

#ultron #marvel #age of ultron #ultron x reader #marvel ultron #mcu ultron #phaticserpent #fanfiction #fanfic #ultron fanfic

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awakeshedreams · 3 years

Text

sugar and spice ( 1 )

pairing : resident bad boy!jjk x model student!reader

setting : highschool!au x stepbrother!au

summary :

a messy highschool!au x stepbrother!au where model student reader who has quite a few dirty little secrets sees her world take an unexpected turn when her mother comes home one day with an engagement announcement, to the father of none other than the school's resident bad boy.... Jeon Jungkook.

genre : smut, for laughs, kinda pornish, slow burn with collosaly overwhelming sexual tension

rating: soft m ( for now ) due to adult content

warnings : unconventional relationship of sexual nature, tropes and clichès, teenagers partaking in porn-esque activities, made up things with made up people happening in a made up world, don't like don't read XD

wordcount : 2.3K

a/n : i've been fighting in a long standing war and I have lost. the man known as jeon jungkook had his foot on my neck for years and today, I have finally submitted to my fate and surrendered to his reign.

yes. after a hundred years, i'm writing again. specifically, writing for bts. particularly, writing for jungkook. its been a long time coming.

life just took over and I transitioned into an adult and kind of grew out of the state of mind I was in before. but. sigh. jeon jungkook has been tormenting me the whole time. it was only a matter of time before i relapsed honestly.

so here I am again. in mind, body and spirit, a different person from who I was before but still the same in the sense that with the way bts have my whole heart, jk will always be the demon in the corner of my room that I invite to bed for a cuddle even though it's (probably really) not good for me.

do not misconstrue. I love him more than I can say. but. sigh. he has me in a chokehold, loves. please try to understand where I'm coming from.

anyways, enough with this ranting. you all came here for the nitty gritty so let me not hold you hostage with my dilemma rambling any longer. here's to the first bts fic i've posted in literal years. introducing- sugar and spice.

1 2

Unless they told someone, no one would have been able to guess it.

At school they were complete strangers.

She was the nice head girl with a clean record, all smiles and straight A’s. He was the mysterious bad boy with a track record, all tatted up with bruised knuckles.

She wore plaid skirts with neat pleads in them and pastel sweaters with bows at the collar. He wore jeans with rips in them and leather jackets with studs.

They couldn't have been any more different.

As far as anyone was concerned, they existed on two extreme ends of a vast spectrum.

What they didn't know was that they shared a dirty little secret.

You were a girl with many dirty secrets.

For instance, you used to sell nudes online. It was a side hustle you did.

Not because you needed money.

Your mom was a renowned doctor so there was more than enough of that in your life.

Not because you needed validation from people online either.

Even without the constant compliments and the praises you knew you were visually blessed with a pretty face and a nice body too.

All things considered, you simply thought you had a nice pair of tits and you took pictures of them sometimes.

Posting the shots you snapped online came much later when you heard about this website where people were getting paid crazy money for posting racy things.

‘It’s just so degrading…’ It was one of your friends, June, who sneered, pretty nose scrunched up. She fixed her long ponytail and rolled her brown eyes while looking in the mirror at her locker. ‘Who would do such a thing, am I right?’

She said this, but June was the girl who has slept with more boys than she could count on her two hands. And those were the ones she told you about.

Like every other time, you said nothing. Even when it carried on to lunch with the rest.

‘Pretty desperate if you ask me.’ Mei the stellar track runner shrugged casually as she stretched her limbs like routine.

‘Where are their parents?’ Nina the library nerd shook her head in disapproval as she fixed her glasses so it sat right on the bridge of her nose.

‘Um… I don’t think it’s … appropriate… to talk about ….’ Kiko the one who always carried a cross and bible around mumbled into her sleeve.

All your friends spoke of it in derision and repulsion of course. This was a school for proper children so they were proper girls. At least they were supposed to be.

Regardless the conversation sparked a curiosity in you.

So you made an account and uploaded your first picture. Nothing bizarre. Just your tits in a pretty lace bra.

You made sure to keep your face out of the frame because that was the smart thing to do and you were nothing if not the smartest student in school.

In all honesty, you weren’t expecting anything out of it. In fact, in between work with student council and tutoring your juniors with finals right around the corner, you even forgot about it for an entire month.

It was by a complete whim that you decided to open the app while you’d been unwinding at your desk following a tedious day at school.

To say you were amused by the response you found waiting for you would have be a grave understatement.

You were staring at the four figure digit that now sat in your bank account.

Reading through the comment section was even more interesting.

There were all sorts of people there who had all sorts of things to say. Ranging from honestly sweet to downright dirty.

You had never been brought to tears laughing in her life before until then.

It was just so funny to see people misbehave and lose their minds over a pair of tits.

From then on it just sort of became a thing.

But that wasn't the worse of your secrets.

You were making a name for yourself on the crude web months later.

The next step was naturally to move from making taking pictures to making videos. Since you was already in too deep you didn’t see why not.

So you upgraded and opened another account. An amateur one where your touched yourself for an audience.

You were no prude.

You might have never been touched by a boy before but you had touched yourself plenty times. Stress and frustration came hand in hand with being head girl. Since you couldn’t quite vent it out at the annoying troublemakers at school, this was your second best option.

Third was watching porn, but that was mostly when you were extremely bored.

But that wasn’t where that little endeavor ended.

Later on it became a lot more risqué.

It all started when your mom hit you with a marriage announcement.

She met a guy on her business trip who she really liked and she was convinced he was the one.

Your mom had a tragic history of being a bad judge of character.

You’ve had this conversation at least five times since you became old enough to understand that boys and girls who were just friends didn’t kiss and sleep with each other.

Most times, it felt like she was doing it because she thought you needed a dad around.

You might have once, when you were younger and your mom was too busy with work to be there. But she worked from home these days and you were soo busy with school to worry about things like that.

This time it was like she was doing it for her. You were glad.

Your mom looked genuinely happy when she spoke about this guy.

Who were you to get in the way?

She spent almost the whole weekend in the kitchen. It was the longest you’ve seen her in there in your entire life.

She was excited for the dinner on Sunday.

Mr Jeon was the name of the chosen man.

He was coming over with his kid. A son, his only family. His wife passed away years ago.

You wore the dress your mom picked out for you, something cream in color and off the shoulders that brushed your knees. She looked pretty in her champagne dress. It was different from the office slacks and loose blouses you were used to seeing her in.

You stood by her at the door while the guests came through.

Lifting your head from a polite bow, you found herself staring straight into an achingly familiar pair of glinting dark eyes and went completely still.

‘Sweetie,' Your mother said sounding delighted, a soft hand on your stiff shoulder. 'This is Mr Jeon and his son Jungkook.’

Ah. Fuck.

‘Jeon dear, this is my daughter. Isn’t she lovely?’

Dinner was a mild affair, with small talk and the occasional clinking of cutlery on fine china.

From the outside looking in, you probably looked the picture perfect family already.

Only if no-one looked close enough.

Arms crossed, tongue in cheek. Your discomfort could be detected from miles away.

The two adults were oblivious.

The dark eyed boy with the slightest wave to his nape touching, brow grazing, ear covering onyx hair sat across you though; he took note of this with a passing glance and wordlessly returned to his food.

Jeon Jungkook had a countenance that betrayed his reputation.

Even though you’ve never talked, you knew plenty about him and you were sure he knew a lot about you too.

You went to the same school.

Dressed as he was in a crisp white dress shirt buttoned at the wrist and dark tailored pants with a fine belt on, it might have been hard to tell what kind of person he really was.

You lifted her gaze from your plate to look study him wordlessly, idly twisting the noodles with your fork.

People either called him the black sheep or the dark cloud but for you, Jeon Jungkook was the school’s resident lone wolf.

He smoked in the secluded areas on campus, sometimes playing his guitar. Beat up people who got on his nerves, sometimes using his guitar. Slept in class the rare times he was there, many times on his guitar.

Being his senior, you had never seen any of any of that for yourself. But you received plenty reports weekly to come to a sound conclusion.

There was no way people hated him enough to join hands in solidarity and make this all up.

It was quite the contrary actually. He had an alarming number of fans.

On the surface level you couldn’t see why. Most times you saw him, he looked bored out his mind and honestly, intimidating.

Maybe it was the tattoos. Or the ripped skinny jeans. Or the leather jackets with studs.

Maybe it was the domineering height and fit frame and structured face.

Maybe it was the intense dark eyes or the silky ruffled hair.

Even then, you failed to see the irresistible appeal in him. All those things that made him up only added to his unapproachable aura.

Bottom line was, he was bad news.

You didn’t want to be a spoil sport.

But how much of a thug your mom’s boyfriend’s son was shouldn’t be something that would make her like him less.

They were both their own people. Right ?

It was just that you just didn’t want her to be shocked and devastated if something happened later. When it happened.

Yet it seemed the serious conversation would have to wait.

After dinner your mom suggested you head to the living room to chat over wine and cheese.

You stayed back to do take out the dishes.

Earlier, your mom had stood to do it instead at first.

‘Don’t bother with that, dear.’ She reached for the plates in your hands. ‘Let me do it.’

‘It’s okay, mom.’ You smiled a little. ‘This is your night. I’ll meet you in the living room.’

'Sweetie...' Your mom looked close to tears. ‘But there’s so much of it…’

‘Jungkook,’ his father's voice had cut through the moment. He was a serious man in a crisp suit with a stoic countenance. His voice was just naturally authoritarian without him trying ‘Give her a hand.’

Jungkook stood, almost robotically.

‘It’s fine.’ You said. Politely. Nicely. Tightly. ‘I can handle this much.’

You left without another word.

That had been moments ago and now you were done with cleaning.

You stood at living room entrance for a while, taking in the scene.

The two adults were exchanging moon eyes and whispering in each other’s ears at the love seat.

Jungkook was sitting on a solo seat, but he was on his phone, completely unbothered by what was happening.

Your mom seemed to think it was the perfect time to pull out the photo album right then and there upon seeing you.

It was embarrassing but at least you knew you didn’t have to worry about the pictures spreading at school.

Jungkook was looking, picking up a picture occasionally to rove over, but he wasn’t the type to do that.

He also wasn’t the type to stare but you felt his glance shifting to you and lingering multiple times.

Once, you caught his eyes and he just stared at you across the coffee table wordlessly with a curious tilt to his head, idly flipping a picture of you dressed as a knight in glitter shining armor for Halloween at eight in his hands.

Honestly, it was starting to get annoying.

But you endured. For your mom’s sake.

Your alarm went off at exactly ten.

As subtly as you could, you excused yourself with an apology to the guests, saying you weren't really feeling well.

In hindsight you probably should have used a better excuse.

Your mom was notorious when it came to worrying, especially when it comes to your health.

Also, you probably should’ve locked the door before undressing just for good measure since people were over.

But in the moment, you were too busy setting your camera up where you were kneeling on the floor at the foot of the bed to be concerned about that.

That day you were testing out a new toy.

Distractedly, you took note of a couple of people asking you if that was your boyfriend’s shirt you had lifted over your tits.

You ignored them.

Couldn’t a girl own an oversized tee without getting any flack?

Trivial comments like that aside, a good majority of the audience are fawning over how wet you were and how perfect you bouncing tits look being played with.

Your head fell back and your eyes fluttered shut.

You were sitting there, knees raised to your chest and legs splayed, your gushing pussy in full display where the toy was stuffed deep into her tightness, vibrating pleasantly.

‘I’m close…’ you mumbled throatily, squeezing your tits and pinching your stiff nipples in between your moving fingers. You moved your hips move faster, feeling the toy buzz against fluttering walls. You took a hand off one of your tits to rub at your engorged clit. ‘Fuckfuckfuck…’

Deep in your high, you didn’t hear the door open and close with a foreboding click.

You only heard your name being called by a deep, smooth voice through the heady haze.

Instantly you stilled.

When you snapped your head to look over her shoulder Jungkook was there, hands in his pockets, leaning against your doorframe with his sleeves drawn up to his elbows, muscle roped, inked skin on full display.

When he tilted his head to the side a little, appraisively, you dared to say as a quaking chill ran down your spine and your entire body felt like it was about to burst into flames, a bit of his hair fell over his face.

His eyes were like two black in the dark as he took you in, dragging his gaze up and down your exposed body languidly.

In the back of your mind, you wished the ground would part and swallow you whole.

‘Your mom,' he starts, capturing your attention wholly, dark gaze finally flickering to your face, his voice suddenly lower, hoarser. ‘She sent me over to check on you.’

It took you a moment to realize where you were, who you were, who he was.

It was like a bucket of cold water had been dropped over your head.

Jeon Jungkook, the school's resident trouble maker, soon to be your step brother, just walked in on you fingering yourself in in front of a recording camera.

Well. Yeah.

You gulped.

You were royally fucked.

depending on the response I get I might ( most probably will ) delete this. not because I'm ashamed of my work. because I'm embarrassed of myself. I really swore to never write again and here I am. sigh. yes, I have seen my previous works and noticed just how terrible they were and this is a big reason why. so sorry for putting you through that. a million apologies.

also, that's right. I have adopted a new style which might not be to everyone's liking. another reason why.

anyways, if you liked this filth ( i know it seems mild but I can tell you it's very likely gonna get worse ) please idk uh... fuck this isn't ao3. hm.

like and drop by in the ask box if you liked it and want to see more. it makes me happy. its like serotonin fuel to me.

have a nice day. see you next time ( maybe ). stay fresh. yeah. 💜💜.

#bangtan #bts #bts angst #bts fluff #bts imagine #bts scenario #bts smut #bts au #jeon jungkook #jungkook scenario #jungkook imagine #jungkook smut #bts x reader #jungkook x reader #bts high school au #jungkook high school au

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giorno-plays-piano · 3 years

Text

No shadows, no reflections

Part I

Pairing: necromancer!Bucky Barnes x reader

Warnings: scary but soft!dark!Bucky, non-consensual use of magic, gore, undead, yandere vibes.

Words: 1926.

Summary: Loving a necromancer was never a good thing.

_______

"Is it true you're carrying a lock of hair in your pendant?" Bucky asked you, sitting across you in the library and almost making you flinch. "A lock of someone you love?"

You were close to have a panic attack. How did he know? Who told him? You kept your secret to yourself, never sharing with anyone what you made your magic pendant with. It was too embarrassing. How could you tell anyone it was his lock of hair you took?

Before you tried saying something in your defense, the necromancer smiled at you, and you lost your tongue. Oh Bucky. Did he have any idea how much you loved him? His presence alone was able to make you feel both insanely happy and disturbed as you struggled to act normal, praying he would never know about your feelings. You preferred to keep them to yourself.

Oh Bucky. A necromancer most students in your class were avoiding because everyone knew what he could do - although you're not too much informed about his past, you had heard about a mad witch who kept him imprisoned for years to make the boy into her powerful successor. You had no idea what he had gone through, but, knowing he ate a tarantula and then bit off scorpion's tail on a bet, you're sure Bucky's a finest - and scariest - mage of his kind in Triskelion Academy.

Despite being a nervous type, you're not intimidated by him the slightest bit. You thought it had something to do with him saving you on the entrance exams when your opponent decided it's fair to use prohibited spells if teachers didn't see. That was your most vivid memory in the Academy: a tall necromancer in a black leather jacket pushing his palm down to the ground, and a couple of angry undead breaking through the soil to grab a stupid guy who tried using dirty tricks. Bucky hated cheaters and bullies. He just couldn't let it happen, he told you later when you thanked him, growing to like necromancer from the first moment.

You always felt calm when he turned out to be in your group - professor Pierce had been constantly sending you on missions, sometimes even quite dangerous, but with Bucky you had nothing to fear. He could kill a vampire with his own hands and put such a powerful jinx on somebody they would have to go to the witches of the Bald Mountain for the cure. Despite having to study in the Academy like all of you, he already was a very strong witcher.

But it wasn’t why you liked him so much. You liked him for his character, the way he talked to you, his composure and serenity. He was the only one person you had ever known who wasn't afraid of anything, be it an exam or a living dragon in the middle of a dorm. Of course, it wasn't the same when some drunk freshman was going to catch a few poisonous harpies to prove he was devoid of fear - these guys usually ended up in the infirmary, the unluckiest straight on a graveyard. But Bucky... Bucky could tear the head of a ghoul with his bare hands and stay absolutely calm and relaxed. Since you were in a state of constant stress, worrying about everything from your uncooked dinner to failing Pierce's missions, you loved this side of a guy who's presence was making people shiver.

"Yes, it's true," you muttered, both proud and ashamed, "I carry a lock inside the pendant. I've found a nice spell to create a protective amulet using your own feelings to someone, and, um, I think, it works pretty well."

"It's very sweet," he smiled at you, "I would've give something precious in return for a pendant like that."

"Oh, y-you see, this type only works for the one who's feelings were used to cast a spell," you started talking too fast from embarrassment, "you would have to use some other kind. But, I thought, you don't need an additional protection?.."

"No, not really," ah, you were right, his own magic barriers worked perfectly, "but it just seems nice to have an amulet like this. To know somebody cares about you to the point they use their feelings for a protective spell."

You got silent, your temperature rising immediately as you were close to fainting from embarrassment. If only he knew. If only he could understand what an amulet you could make for him, fueled by your silly heart...

"I guess, it's not bad," you admitted, lowering your eyes to the table where you sat opposite him, tons of books laying in front of you, "but I envy you since all your barriers work so well. Your magic is so strong, it's a miracle."

He laughed, but you could hear no joy in his voice. "I wouldn't call it that. Necromancy isn't a gift. I'm actually glad we don't study it in the Academy."

"Well, then I'm happy someone as responsible as you knows this magic."

You didn't lie, and while you still stared at the table, your smile grew wider before you even knew it. Oh gods, you shouldn't have been talking to him for so long. Soon he would definitely guess you had a thing for him, and you'd prefer to quit the school than let it happen.

Luckily, Bucky started talking about something completely different.

"But you're good with yours, too. The amulets you're doing go like hotcakes, don't they?"

"Um, yeah, but it's so hard for me to use any attacking spells or anything else to keep enemies at bay. If I ever meet a ghoul all by myself, I'll die," you scratched your neck nervously.

"Do you want me to teach you a couple of things?"

Nearly chocking on air, you finally looked up, finding Bucky grinning at you. Oh, you had never seen him in such good mood before: he rarely smiled wide or expressed his feelings the way others did, and you felt a little proud he acted differently around you. Could he be having a soft spot for you?

"But, uh, I don't think I'll be able to study necromancy."

"You don't have to learn resurrection spells or stuff like that. I'll only teach you something useful in the battle, but nothing too scary, alright?"

Of course, you said yes. How could you possibly refuse him when he smiled so brightly at you? You realized your plan to stay in the shadow failed only when you were already in your room, pressing your lips to the pendant and whispering a prayer. Oh gods, what did you get yourself into? He was going to discover your feelings the moment you two were to sit together. Was it better to tell him you were alright by yourself? Damn, but you couldn't! You couldn't reject him! Not when he looked so satisfied with your answer, willing to start teaching you soon. You'd better eat your heart out instead of telling him you didn't need his help.

But when you finally started meeting in the practice room, it went way better than you thought it would. Bucky turned out to be a great teacher, very attentive, focused, and responsible. While you had very little talent for black magic, most spells he taught you were quite doable, and soon you found yourself practicing more complicated curses and jinxes under his supervision.

It was like a dream, spending time with someone you loved without worrying too much about your secret. You ended up being so good soon teachers were openly praising you for your efforts.

Although you had been constantly asking Bucky how you could thank him for all the time he was spending with you, he never told you anything, so you decided to give him a little gift - an amulet he was talking about. You hid the love magic you used, repeating the masking spell many, many times, making sure he would never know what's inside that little silver pendant you gave him. But the second you slipped a small piece of metal into his hand, Bucky's eyes lit up. You didn't see such an expression on his face before, and it made your heart skip a beat. You just made him happy.

The more you spent time together, the stronger you got. By the end of spring you were no longer afraid of ghouls or vampires, and when it exams time came, Bucky asked professor Rumlow to be your sparring partner. It got you nervous, but he promised he wouldn't use any jinxes or curses that could really hurt you - he only wanted to demonstrate others how good you became. You agreed, knowing you could trust him.

Silly you, thinking he was able to resist the temptation.

The first ten minutes you were doing remarkably well, reflecting, dodging, and reversing necromancer's spells so that even grim Rumlow was pleasantly surprised, seeing you casting a first-level spell of the Black Hand - a large shadow came out of nowhere and rushed to your opponent to bind him. It was a dangerous spell that needed a mage to have full control over it - it could harm both the mage and the one they attacked gravely - but first level was safe enough to use in a sparring, and Rumlow was satisfied with your choice, watching the excited expression on your face.

"You call it the Black Hand? This is the Black Hand!" Quickly getting fervent, the necromancer let out a loud laugh and threw his hand in the air, casting something that made you tremble the second you saw his palm growing ashy black.

Oh gods. He was casting the second-level spell. The one that was prohibited to use even during Pierce's mission.

You did your best to charm the ground you stood to provide at least some protection, but the spell already enveloped you in a dense black fog, and all the students and Rumlow dissappeared from your sight.

You could hear nothing at all in that fog, not even your own voice when you casted a scattering spell. It felt like the darkness was solid, impenetrable. You couldn't see your own body or feel the beating of your heart when you put your hand to your chest.

And then there was it, a stench of rotting flesh and some unknown putrid smell coming from the ground, mixing together, nearly making you vomit when you stared at the living corpse of your older brother, walking to you. The skin was falling off his bones and crumpled on the ground, his eyes empty, pitch-black when he extended his hand towards you, trying to catch you by the shoulder like he always did when he was alive, and you screamed, not hearing your own voice. Your brother's corpse was touching your face with his bony fingers, smearing his own flesh on your skin, getting inside your mouth, trying to tear it open, and you screamed and you screamed until you no longer felt your tongue, ripped off by the corpse.

________

You woke up on the cold ground of the practice room, shaking like an epileptic with Rumlow bended over to you and other students watching intently, horror written on their faces. You felt frozen, not feeling your own body, your throat hurting as if you ate a burning-hot fireplace poker. Then professor took you in his arms and lifted you from the ground, and you kept your eyes shut, hoping you wouldn't see Bucky - you couldn't look him in the face. You just couldn't.

Part II

Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki @helenaeisenhower @villanellevi @hurricanerin @inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @navegandoaciegas @rosalynshields @brattycherub @sllooney @angrythingstarlight @lookiamtrying @buckysbunny @soleil-dor @stargazingfangirl18 @dillybuggg @literate-lamb @cosicas-cuquis @sarge-barnes-sir @buckybarnesplumwhore @jaysayey @megzdoodle @gotnofucks @lux-ravenwolf @ximebebx @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @sourpatchspinster @biiskuitx @stupendouslovegardener @melodie-rin @yeolliedokai @iheartsebandchris

#dark bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #dark bucky barnes x reader #winter soldier #yandere #mcu #mcu fanfiction

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