#I've got many fictional characters i like that are canonically asexual

[zeroducks-2]

Ok so I've seen this post way too many times on my dashboard not to get pissed so here's me saying this: Shipping is not aphobic, Soulmates AUs are not aphobic, having fun imagining your favorite little guys having sex is not aphobic.

"But one of these characters is asexual in the text!" 1: a character which doesn't have a canon relationship is not necessarily aspec, and 2: even if the character is canonically aro/ace, shipping them with someone doesn't erase the fact that they're aro/ace in the text, and in fact doesn't hurt anyone because IT'S FICTION. It's like shipping with an age gap, shipping gay characters with the opposite sex, shipping murderers and cannibals, shipping het characters with the same sex, any other "problematic" thing you can think of. It's fiction. It's not real, it doesn't hurt anyone, it's just some poor sod's past-time like it is yours and mine and everyone else's who spend their time shipping fictional people.

"Shipping hurts X category of people" is anti rhetoric and guess what, it's bullshit. You're just calling people aphobic instead of p3do, groomer or whatever other offensive nonsense antis say.

"But soulmate AU are aphobic!" Look, I hate soulmate AUs because they're cheesy and made with the cookie cutter, but that's just bullshit. No they don't hurt aspec communities, they simply do not cater to aromantic people. Something which doesn't cater to you simply existing does not in fact hurt you. And anyway you're free to create your own "Platonic Soulmate AU" if you so like, I promise no one is stopping you and a lot of folks would appreciate it.

"But it normalizes amatonormativity!" LISTEN. It's called amatonormativity FOR A REASON, and this reason is that it is the norm. Fandom spaces haven't normalized it, IT IS ALREADY NORMALIZED. Hetero, cis, allo and amatonormativity don't come from fandoms, they are not pushed by fandoms, and making it sound any different is the same kind of rhetoric antis use. Kinda on the opposite end of the spectrum of that specific brand of antis which claims incest in fanfictions normalizes it, whereas 8 seasons of GoT somehow don't. Like fucking stop treating fans like they hold the keys to make things widely spread and accepted, maybe? Because that's also what antis do in their attempt to police what other people like...?

In conclusion, this is an internalized anti behavior which won't help aspec people, won't help fandom and will only fuel shame in anyone who takes it seriously. It's just a very fancy brand of censorship. Fucking stop.

[wolveria]

To the anon that sent another message about this ask:

There is no misunderstanding. I knew what you were trying to say, and I answered accordingly.

Acknowledging your discomfort was the first thing I did. It was also one of the last things I addressed. But I also said feelings aren't an indicator of truth or reality, which can be a harsh thing to hear. But it doesn't mean I don't care about what you said.

You've repeatedly said you're upset about how aroace identities are treated in fandom, and I think it would be helpful to examine why.

I hope you read this post in its entirety, because I feel what I have to say is important and might provide some insight as an older aroace.

To put it bluntly, I think you're defensive and protective of aroace characters, because you feel your own identity is being dismissed and threatened in fandom spaces.

What you said here tells me that this isn't actually about fictional characters. This is about how you feel as an aroace in the queer community.

I completely understand. Aphobia is real, it's pervasive and insidious, and it can feel like we're outsiders in the queer community. Unfortunately, this isn't uncommon, and we're not the only ones to get that exclusionary treatment.

But it's important to understand aphobia isn't caused by what fans do with fictional characters. Nor is it an indicator of any actual aphobic thoughts or beliefs.

If fans are already hostile towards aroace people, you would assume they would also be shitty towards aroace characters, right?

That's a dangerous assumption. You would be surprised how many racist bigots are much more tolerant of characters of color than they would be of a real person of color standing in front of them.

Continued below (tw for mention of rape fantasies):

And then take me, someone on the aroace spectrum. My most abused characters are my aroace ones. I have absolutely horrific fantasies and stories of them. I will put them in the most fucked up sexual situations, including corrective rape scenarios. I'm an absolute monster to them.

Am I erasing their aroace identity? You could argue I am. I would say it's the least problematic thing I'm doing to them, in the grand scheme, but the question is: Do you think I'm a part of the problem? Or is it okay because I'm also aroace? Why are my fantasies acceptable, when a non-aroace having the same fantasies isn't?

And that's what all of this is: fantasy. A fan taking a canonically aroace character and treating them as cishet is their fantasy.

(And that's not even acknowledging that you can never truly know if that's what's happening. An aroace character can display romantic behavior, have sex, and do all the things that would make them pass as cishet. That doesn't make them any less aroace, does it?)

But for argument's sake, lets say that this hypothetical fan truly is making them straight as an arrow.

So what? Why is that any more harmful than my rape fantasies? Why do my fantasies get a free pass, but their fantasies can be labeled as aphobic?

My argument is, there is no moral difference between my fantasies and anyone else's.

Because how someone treats fictional characters can never be an accurate indicator of how they will treat real people.

Aroace character treatment in fandom isn't a source, or a sign, of aphobia. Only actions against actual people are.

Again, this is not addressing media representation. I can't tell you how many times I've seen an asexual-coded character be forced into a weird, awkward, heteronormative situation, and it's made me feel angry and erased. But I focus that anger at the responsible party, the people who got paid to make these choices. I try not to aim my hostility at fans for doing the same thing. Because one is a play fantasy, and the other is a decision with millions of dollars behind it. They are not the same.

Fanon interpretation can go away with a block button. Aphobia in media is a lot harder to contend with, and being upset with fans won't address the core issue. It's a larger problem that doesn't have an easy solution, and sometimes, being angry at other fans can feel like a way of hitting back.

It isn't. You're only lashing out at people as powerless as you.

I'm sorry for upsetting you, that you believe I'm not being sympathetic to other aroaces, but I just don't have the bandwidth to give a shit about fictional people.

I care about real people, including you, Anon, so I hope you have a support system that can help you feel validated in your identity. Because from some of the things you said, it sounds like people are being aphobic toward you. And that's a real problem that can and should be addressed.

Fandom can be a very hostile place for anyone, especially aroace people, and I hope you find other, kinder spaces for validation and safety in your identity.

[asteria-argo]

Answer the questions and tag five fanfiction authors you know!

tagged by the wonderful wonderful @altschmerzes

1. How many fandoms have you written in?

Written in about 15 but I've only published in two. According to ao3 it's five but that's because of the umbrella fandom of DC comics.

2. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

Since I was around 6 and I'm now 20 so about,,, 14 years

3. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

I read way more than I write, I read a bare minimum of 3 fics a day and I go through really long periods of not writing anything so I for sure read more than I write

4. What is one way you've improved as a writer?

since I started publishing my fics I've gotten a lot better at actually finishing them, but my grammar and tense has also improved A Lot just from practicing even if it's still not the best out there.

5. What's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

I mean it's not that weird but I get very hyperfixated on small details so I did a lot of researching into the different degrees offered at Yale and Harvard in order to decide what degrees I think would be offered at a fictional Ivy League university when I was writing character bios a little while ago.

Also for To All The Better Places I spent a truly inane amount of time researching grassroots U12 girls football teams for a side character so I could name one in the right area that would suit her needs the best.

6. What's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

long ones for sure. I love getting long comments especially on my longer fics where people like,, point out things they liked or quote my work as me. Also love those like,, live slug reaction comments you get sometimes where people go paragraph by paragraph telling you their thoughts as they have them in one long comment,

7. What's the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

I have a lot of ambiguous gender feelings a lot of the time, and I also grew up watching a lot of "boy" oriented media that would only have like,, one or two girl characters at best so from a young age I was fascinated with reading like,, canon divergent "always-a-girl" trope fics and I have written a couple of them myself which I think is a bit of an unpopular trope in wider fandom.

8. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

angst and whump because I really struggle describing physical sensation and angst usually just ends up with me making myself sad and/or sick in the process of writing it if I don't have a happy ending planned and ready to go

9. What is the easiest type?

found family stories are my bread and butter, slice of life, friends just being friends, those kinds of stories

10. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

I usually write at home at my desk, since I study online I've got a pretty perfect set up to spend long hours there. If I'm not at home I'm at the library. I use Notion, because it's free, I have personal beef with Word and google docs sucks. It's not technically a writing platform in the sense I use it in but it works fine as one, it also makes it super easy to organise my files and extra notes of fics, on top of my editing and the drafts.

11. What is something you've been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

I actually recently overcame my big too nervous to write fic. I am,, an asexual virgin but I also really enjoy reading smut. I've wanted to write some for ages, but on account of not knowing how sex works because I've never had it and also my inability to describe physical sensations I've been weary to give it a go in case it's terrible but I finally wrote some not long ago and published it over on ao3

12. What made you choose your username?

Well Asteria is just my name, and then Argo is a combined DC/Greek Mythology references. Argo comes from the Argonauts of The Golden Fleece myth, but it's also the name of the original supergirls home.

I do not know whose already been tagged or whose already done it so I'm just going to go for it and hope for the best @jamtartandsunshine @kvetchinglyneurotic @jamiesfootball @antitheticaally @its-not-easy-being-green-things

[sflow-er]

Good morning Sflow :)

For the ask game I'd love to hear your thoughts about these two, if you feel like answering (no pressure though!):

🍭why did you start writing?

🌿how does creating make you feel?

Thank you. Wishing you a lovely day! <3

Good evening, friend 💛

I saved your ask for last because these are both really deep questions, and I've actually spent a lot of time reflecting on them today, especially the first one. So, exactly the kind I'd expect from you, and they deserve the kind of rambling personal answers you know to expect from me.

I'll put a cut here to make it easier for people to scroll on if they aren't interested, but of course anyone who is interested is welcome to read my answers!

🍭why did you start writing?

I guess the short answer is, as a creative outlet. But there is also a very long answer, as I've started writing several times over the course of my life.

On the first time, I started for my little brother. We played a lot of imagination games when we were kids, and I wanted to expand on those. We had an imaginary world with about two dozen characters but could only play a few of them at the same time, the stories were 'lost' when the game ended, and I had too many ideas anyway. So I started drawing and writing some of them down. This first phase went on from age 9 to 14 or so.

On the second time (overlapping the first), I started for narrative closure. A video game that I was completely obsessed with had a sad ending, so I wrote another. It was fun, so I went on to another story I wanted to continue, characters I wanted to expand on, and so on. I wrote most of these in my English notebook, for which I also got extra credit and feedback from my English teacher.

After a couple of years of just writing in my notebook, I discovered that I was doing a thing called fan fiction, and there were places to put it online. So I started doing that. Eventually, I got an original idea, and I wrote a story of about 50k and even started a sequel. This second phase lasted from age 13 to 19/20.

Then I started at uni. Life got in the way, and my creativity was gone. I never finished the sequel, and even when I eventually got obsessed with a new piece of media and tried to write something for it, I just couldn't get anything coherent down. I eventually took down all my old fics too, thinking that chapter of my life was closed for good. This phase lasted until I watched Young Royals at the age of 33.

On the third time, I started as an outlet for my suddenly reborn creativity - and my still very fragile ace identity. I found the rich world of YR incredibly inspiring and wanted to continue the story (as we didn't even know if there would be an S2). I also really wanted to contribute something to the fandom that was growing around it, but I didn't have the confidence or the ideas to focus on Wilmon.

Well, as luck would have it, there was a veritable blank slate of a minor character who would be perfect for a canon expansion and even gave me a vague ace vibe for some reason. And if I made him asexual, well, figuring out how he felt about various stuff would be a good excuse to work on myself on the side. I wasn't sure if I actually had the guts to make that part of his characterisation visible in the fic, and he'd have to be very different from me as I never liked self-inserts, but yeah. That could be interesting.

I'm still in this third phase, although the self-reflection has taken a backseat now.

🌿how does creating make you feel?

It's hard to describe. One part of it is just plain relief, because it gets to a point where you really just need an outlet for all the creative energy. One part is this huge sense of accomplishment and satisfaction over seeing the thing you imagined and planned come together. It was just something you cooked up in your head, and now it's out there, making sense. Or at least being its own aesthetic/artistic entity. Either way, you did it, wow.

And of course one part is the joy of knowing that people enjoyed something you made and/or it touched them. I had sort of forgotten about that while I wasn't writing, and I'm very grateful to have experienced it again.

Thank you again for these wonderful asks!

Ask list for reference.

[asenarieka]

Please read this before following!!

Helloo~

♡ Astrid / Envy ♡ Autistic ♡ Non - Binary ♡ Asexual ♡ Self-shipper ♡ Fictionkin ♡ They/She ♡

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

I'm Astrid but feel free to call me Asena or Envy.

I'm Autistic and Bipolar so I struggle a lot with understanding other people's emotions, my mood swings can also be rather extreme at times. I do not understand jokes and sarcasm unless I know you so using tone indicators would help a lot.

I mostly make OC x Canon or Envy content using various 3D softwares like Source Filmmaker, Blender, MMD and VRM Posing!

I sometimes upload VRChat stuff as well.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

If it’s not obvious already, I’m a self-shipper. I only have one f/o which is my Envy from Fullmetal Alchemist, despite them being evil and all that, they have been a huge support for me through some really tough times. I’m also a fiction kin, where I also kin Envy. We share a very similar mindset and we’re both outcasts of our Family. (kinda referring to 03 Envy here) and we're both extremely jealous over other people. I tend to 'switch' into Envy at times, sometimes I'm aware but sometimes I have no idea. I have not yet been diagnosed with any form of a split personality disorder, but I'm working on getting a new therapist so we'll see. There is a possibility that I have a mild form of it but I'm not gonna make any claims until I have an actual answer.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

I will probably mostly upload content featuring Envy or from my ship Astrid x Envy. If you don’t like self-shippers then please just block me.

If you are also an Envy self-shipper then I kindly ask you to not interact with me, I’m sure you and Envy are absolutely adorable together, I’m just uncomfy with other Envy self-shippers. I already know I’m gonna get a lot of hate for that, but I mean no harm nor do I intend to be rude. I get easily jealous, it’s been a life-long problem so I doubt it’s gonna change anytime soon but I try not let it get the better of me. 

I self-ship to cope, I only have one f/o and they mean so much to me, my feelings and the connection I feel are very much real even tho it’s a fictional relationship. I believe it's a soulbond, that seems to make the most sense.

I have a few other kins which includes, Stiles Stilinski from Teen Wolf, Emma Swan from Once Upon a Time, Dean Winchester from Supernatural and a couple of others.

I’m Asexual and Demi Romantic, I will most likely block NSFW and Fetish accounts as I really do not like that stuff! It just makes me way to uncomfortable..

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

♡ Some things about me ♡

╰┈➤ I'm a selective mute, I do not talk much nor do I write much, I grew up pretty much alone so I never spoke much to anyone.

╰┈➤ Due to trauma from family and ex lovers, I get triggered and scared really easy. I do not feel comfortable going into details, I know i've spoken about it before but I don't remember how much I actually said. Because of Autism and trauma my mental age is different from my physical age.

╰┈➤ I'm not the type of person that trusts other easily, too many took advantage of that in the past.

╰┈➤ I may have "furry" like characters but I left the fandom quite a while back. No hate towards them, just got a bit uncomfy from some situations.

I have more info on my carrd: https://asenainfo2023.carrd.co

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

I do not know how active I’ll on here. I may just re-blog a lot of self-ship or Envy content. I’m honestly scared of being active on here.

Messages/Asks are disabled for my own safety!.

Art tags:

#asenarieka - All art

#envyxastrid - Selfship tag

#astridxenvy - 2nd selfship tag-

#astrid's rambles - My rambles and other weird stuff

#astridxenvy cai - Character ai stuffz

#envy my beloved - Envy tag

[shizucheese]

Hello...

I feel like I need to put some kind of intro here before I start filling this blog with fandom-related shower thoughts and snippets of my writing or whatever.

So hello, my name is Shizune. I'm a twitch streamer that mostly plays Final Fantasy games but sometimes other stuff too. Come check me out on Sundays starting at 4:30 central time and Wednesdays and Thursdays starting at 7:30 central time.

I'm currently playing FFXVI and I have so many feelings for that game right now. Once I'm done with that I'll be diving back into streaming FFXIV (we left off with the post-Titan content before XVI came out). I've been playing FFXIV since ARR and am streaming it on a fresh character, doing everything at minimum item level (I will definitely need help when I hit level 50, 60, etc. content when I start doing Alliance raids ;w;). I'm going to Fanfest at the end of this month and am hella excited.

I also write. Mostly I write original fiction, primarily high fantasy and urban fantasy, but I got into The Magnus Archives this past October, have since listened to it twice, and am now super hyper fixated on the relationship between John and Martin (probably because I'm demiromantic and somewhere on the ace spectrum and the fact that John is canonically asexual means that his relationship with Martin is purely based on romantic attraction and I just....ugh), so now I have 3 different TMA fanfiction continuities I'm working on that all take place after Mag200. Part of my master plan is to eventually post some of my work on AO3 and then I'll use this blog to post previews and update announcements. Keep your eyes peeled! I also just in general listen to a lot of podcasts, especially D&D (and some non-D&D) actual play campaigns and horror podcasts. According to multiple people I know I consume podcasts at an impressive rate, but I have ADHD and if I'm not listening to *something*, preferably with a narrative, then I'll go crazy. I love anime but don't marathon it quite on the same level that I marathon podcasts at because with podcasts I can multitask while with anime I want to actually watch it and fully appreciate not only the narrative but the animation. I think that pretty much covers the important stuff. I tend to be really awful about posting on social media but hopefully this time it clicks and I can stay on top of it...

[truffulacore]

my brain for the past 9 hours and probably the next 9 hours: asexual swag aseuxal swag asuexal swga aseuxka segaw asusuxl sges ahseuxsnjs sgags zexlal sgwha

[idontdowellunderpressure]

Garou's "Crush"

I wanted to make this little meta as soon as I read Chapter 170. Long story short, I couldn't at the time, but I can now and apparently there's some discourse going on? IDK. There's a reason I generally avoid Twitter ￣へ￣

Anyways, here's my two cents about that time Murata tried to "no-homo" Garou and, in my opinion, ended up backfiring wonderfully. Keep in mind, this is coming from an asexual, so my understanding about sexuality and romantic attraction may be skewed.

So, let's digest this panel:

In it, Bang makes the valiant attempt to bond over what he thinks is a safe subject matter. Garou's a young man, right? And what do all teenage boys have in common? Their raging hormones and crushes, obviously. Only, Garou doesn't seem all to keen to discuss this particular topic. Blabbing about the rotten morality of so-called "heroes" to some random stranger? A-okay. Admitting he has a crush to his father figure? Atrocious.

In fact, look at the facial expressions Garou's making:

Dude is looking like he's gay straight up not having a good time. He looked shocked and anxious and uncomfortable (just look at that sweat). And, yeah, the phrase "if you twist my arm" can, and frequently is, taken to be more sarcastic than genuine, Garou isn't really someone known for masking his feelings all that well. His facial expressions are vast and he always shows his genuine feelings, whether they're shock or fury or fear. (good compilation of Garou's many expressions compiled by someone more talented than me: https://the-nysh.tumblr.com/post/185831833031/garous-so-cute-and-more-like-his-age-when-his)

But he does give in and provide a name. And, honestly, his answer made everything clear to me. Like how Saitama knew Garou wasn't "Absolute Evil" despite all his bluster, I knew Garou wasn't Straight™ with this one answer.

Garou names a character. Not a real person, but a character from a show he, most likely, watched as a kid. This is like back in school when any gay kid in the closet would go "I'm not gay, I totally love Britney Spears", or maybe "No, yeah, I totally love boys, I've got a Jack Sparrow poster up in my room". You know the drill. Celebrities are a safe "crush" because they are unattainable, and you will never have to actually act on such a declaration. Fictional characters, by virtue of being -you know- NOT REAL offer even more separation. (And the reason I bring up the fictional character angle, is because Garou remembers her character from the show before her name, suggesting that he has more of an attachment to the character than the actress).

So now he's done it. He's declared a crush. He's answered the question. He's safe. Now what?

Subject Change.

The very first chance he gets, Garou shifts the topic immediately to something else. And look at that. The cockiness is back. The sweat is gone. I daresay, he looks ecstatic to be talking about literally anything other than a girl he supposedly likes.

Just look at his smile (ಥ ◡ ಥ)

And if that weren't enough. We are told exactly why Garou picked this character, this actress, of all the others at his disposal.

Okay. So, first off, that's sad. Like, major oofs here for Garou and his Mommy issues. Secondly, you mean to tell me that Garou likes this woman because she seems kind? Really? That's the main reason? Because, not to get too shippy on what is supposed to be a semi-serious sexuality analysis.........BUT, do you know who else is really kind? Someone who gives off major "familial" vibes? (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

Hmmmm, I wonder if there's someone Garou's met who he's seen to be very kind and protective over his ward.

Some who, thematically, represents the strong familial love Garou has never had and, apparently, craves. Someone who is closer to his age and he might be able to relate to. Someone who, canonically, he operates on a similar wavelength with?

I dunno, just a thought ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyways, thanks for playing "no-homo" Murata, but I'm afraid I'm still sitting tight on this Batarou train. Maybe next time ;)

[decepti-thots]

a really… i guess weird? i would say? a really weird response i sometimes get on meta etc that i write is this attempt to undermine observations of stuff that exists in canon on the basis 'that makes no sense for alien robots'.

there's a particular strain of discussion in parts of transformers fandom (not quite so much on tumblr, admittedly) that acts like people are idiots for 'treating alien robots like they're humans' even when every mainline TF continuity does exactly this, and does it very much on purpose. every single TF franchise humanizes cybertronians beyond surface level 'big robots COOL' stuff. it's not a bug, it's a feature. the fiction doesn't like. fail to make them Proper Aliens, it just doesn't really want to in the vast majority of circumstances.

if a story tells you up front 'this is gonna be about alien characters, but we're basically just using them as a cooler stand in for humans', as pretty much every Transformers story does, you can decide to deliberately read against that for your own enjoyment! that's a fun fandom activity! transformative work, whoo! get creative and have a good time. but many people you encounter are likely to say 'cool, got it' and engage on the terms the fiction has laid out for them. that's a reasonable expectation, i think. acting like people are somehow missing a trick if they do this just confuses me, ngl.

and i do wonder sometimes if this is related to a wider tendency in fandom to prioritise in-universe analysis that starts from a foundation of 'what if this story was real and actually happening' over everything else, as somehow 'better' or 'truer' than other ways of looking at stories? like, ok. one thing i've gotten in discussions before is people going 'why would asexually reproducing robots have siblings', and a bunch of in-universe analysis of why that Doesn't Make Sense and why no characters in IDW are 'really' related.

and it's not that they're wrong within the framework they're using there per se; no, it doesn't make sense from that perspective. no robot character in IDW is 'related' in real world human terms by the standards we generally judge it by from an in-universe perspective, not really. but in this example at no point is any attempt there made to engage with what i would personally consider a pretty obvious answer, which is 'the writer wanted to tell a story about siblings, and since the real world does have those, the audience is predisposed to accept the idea and most people will do so for the sake of enjoying the story. and if an audience accepts something within a story, that's what makes it functionally true'. and because i am someone who likes that type of story, their arguments aren't going to sway me if they start talking about the nuances of what cybertronian social structures would look like if they were real or whatever. it's just going to feel kind of irrelevant to what i'm actually talking about, which is the narrative on the page which definitely wants me to engage with the siblings it's talking about as such.

there's some sense i think that because the latter isn't about 'canon' or whatever, it somehow doesn't… count as a real explanation. but it's a totally reasonable way to think about both how people write stories, and how many people engage with them. the characters are related because the audience is reading a story that has set them up to accept said characters as such, and has an IRL frame of reference which informs their understanding of what that idea means. they are reading a story which has framed itself in such a way as to ensure its audience is likely to be on-board for that degree of suspension of disbelief, by way of genre, setting the tone, setting expectations for how cybertronians are typically depicted in relation to humans, etc.

so if you then see someone discussing two characters who are depicted as being siblings in the way real human people are and break out the 'um actually in universe that makes no sense because they're robots which obviously can't be related in that way', that's a disingenuous way to engage with the discussion someone is having. it might be a really valuable exercise to, say, deliberately read against the grain and create an alternative reading along those lines, sure! that's cool! but that isn't the same as 'disproving' the former person's engagement with the themes of the work or whatever, and acting like they are in need of correction is just ridiculous. and if they're taking a totally different approach to you in what they're engaging with in a narrative, it might just not be very productive for either of you to try and talk across each other.

so maybe don't... do that. lmao. shrug. i mean do what you want, i guess, but i dunno what people expect to get out of it. when people do this to me i'm just kind of like... bit of a conversation killer, i don't have much to say in response! eh.

[youarestellarverse]

@starlightshadowsworld tagged me in a thing about sexuality headcanons!

For the actual canon, my general feel is that it started at a period of time when having a main queer character in a series for young people that wasn't specifically a Queer Series was unacceptable. This has fortunately started to change in recent years (partly because of Nico— I cannot overstate the impact it had that a hugely popular author who could afford to take that risk insisted on taking that risk; the difference in post-HOH mainstream queer youth characters is so massive it makes my fourteen year old self weep as she keyword searches "gay and lesbian" on her library network because David Levithan and Annie On My Mind were her only options). The books seem to be adapting from "everyone is straight because Hyperion Publishing is owned by Disney" to "young teenagers are still figuring things out". I like that method, personally!

So that's why I'm answering this over here on my ficblog instead of my main @stillneedsmorekissing. I present the sexualities I am using in my fic (plus a few kink roles for the ones I've actually considered):

Percy is a sub who uses both "bisexual" and "pansexual":

"You know I think you're breathtaking."

"Against all odds, yes, I do."

"How do you feel?"

Percy blinks, like he hadn't been expecting it.

"I feel...pretty," he says, after a long minute of quiet. Then he smirks, and Jason gets where he's going with it a second before he makes the West Side Story reference. "And witty. I have too much baggage from the 'that's so gay' craze to use it as an umbrella term for myself, but 'bi' rhymes with 'guy', so it almost works if you swap it in and moosh two stanzas together."

"Are you still using pansexual too?" Jason takes another photo, watching as Percy relaxes into the pillow again, his eyes closing.

"Yeah. They both fit, they're both comfy, so why not?" He half-shrugs. "Pan is probably closer if we're going purely by definition, but they're similar enough that I don't care about making a firm distinction for myself. Plus I got most of my pride stuff secondhand from Paul, and he got most of it, like, a decade before pansexuality was coined. He even gave me a couple vintage bi-angle pins."

Jason immediately pictures a set of two tri-tone portraits, one for each flag. That's a project he'll definitely have to use Rachel's studio for; he'll need oil paint and a large canvas to do it justice.

"I wonder how he'd feel about you calling them vintage."

(From Here in Our Bed, chapter 12)

Jason is a bisexual dom.

Nico is a gay switch.

The rest are under a cut because they spoil some plans.

Reyna is biromantic and asexual/sex-neutral (she's not bothered by doing it, but she wouldn't seek it out for fun). She is, however, very much a domme...which can be a tiny bit of a problem, because:

Piper is a lesbian, and also a domme-leaning switch.

This is set up for the bisexual Annabeth to figure out she thought she was a domme, but she's actually a sub-leaning switch— she was misinterpreting her bratty streak. She and Piper are both allosexual and she doesn't mind getting ganged up on and losing fights, which balances out the relationship and gets it running smoothly again!

Hazel is straight.

Frank is straight with one (1) exception.

Leo is the exception, and isn't actually sure how he identifies, because it doesn't occur to him until many years down the line when they enter a V with Hazel and he eventually has to come to terms with the fact that at some point he acquired a boyfriend and made the V a triangle when he wasn't looking. Tentatively, he ends up landing simply on "queer", because nothing else seems to fit exactly right and that's what it's there for!

I'm still considering gender, because I'm undecided on whether my current Brand New Genderfluid Awakening Process is something I want to work through fictionally yet, but I suspect Percy will ultimately decide he's a guy with an asterisk.

(Also, the mental image of Jason using drag as a vehicle for self-expression after a lifetime of being molded into the Paragon of Masculine Ideals will not leave me alone, so there's that.)

That's about all I got so far!

[phoenixborn]

9, 10, 11, 12, and 14?

Spicy mun asks

9: What has been the biggest mistake you’ve made since you started RPing?

Maybe that on an another site before coming to Tumblr I wrote smut when I was a minor. Before the witch hunt begins along with callout posts: I learned 75% of my English through reading fanfictions then roleplaying. NOBODY during that time told me it was forbidden and I was like it's fiction, it's not even me who is having sex in the story so I didn't see any problems with this. I'm Hungarian. Here the age of consent is 14. Before Tumblr, I had no idea that people can get into legal trouble because of this and when I learned about it at first I thought it's a joke. Those who I written with also knew my age, I never made it a secret. Now I've grown up and realized long before this is indeed a mistake & I made all of my blogs +18 even to interact with due to my muses nature, backstories, topics.

And of course I have not and will not write smut with a minor.

I would like to add that I don't feel assaulted or exploited because of my inexperience and probably most of my past roleplay partners were minors too. The irl sexual harassment was much worse & impactful than writing stories with sex in them.

10: What’s something you really hate seeing on your dash that seems to be popular with almost everyone else?

I don't think there's a thing like this? If someone's writing doesn't entertain/excite/inspire me I simply don't follow. So my dash is perfect💖

11: What’s your biggest pet peeve when it comes to RPing?

Tumblr's inconsistency with notifications hands down. I get notifications of being tagged in something literal months ago. Or that my ask got answered. So far I haven't noticed a delay with reblogs.

Oh and people who shit on female OCs because, idk think before even reading the info that they are self inserts and only want to fuck the canon characters. That's not why I slowly built up a historical noble house woven so deep into Hungarian history, not why I spent more research for my pirate blog than I did for my literal matura exams combined, not why I watched hours of singing explaining by vocal coaches, not why I studied Scott Adkins' borderline impossible movements which are not CGI.

12: What’s your biggest pet peeve when it comes to the fandom you RP in?

As @winters-club has touched on the subject, those who are 'You MUST portray this character's CANON sexuality otherwise it's ERASURE and you're a terrible/homophobic person.'

Especially if those people actively harass writers instead of minding their own fucking business.

The most common victims of this are those who write Vaggie (also how come that I haven't seen many complaints that Alastor fucks when he's supposed to be asexual? This is NOT an attack on any Alastor muns, you write him however you want, I just noticed this.), Winter is not the only person I know who had a struggle with it. Curate your own dash if you don't want to see it, don't follow people who dare to defy canon, block tags and don't harass them. And as a bisexual who only felt romantic desire towards women irl, I find myself not giving a flying fuck. It's called creativity and so what if the writers want to explore other possible romantic plotlines? Let me tell you a secret: there's no erasure the slightest. Why? Because the sexuality of the character in question is CANON. A few independent writers on a site will not change that.

14: Without naming anyone specific, have you ever avoided someone simply because they RP with one of your RP partners? If so, why?

I didn't and don't avoid anyone just because they write with my rp partners. I actually don't even understand this question, everyone is free to interact, be friends with as much people as they want, it's not a choosing game and two people go to a separate corner to play.

[imagine-your-love-story]

Hi there! I hope my asks doesn't come out as insensitive or aggressive but just wanted to address something regarding the anon who mentioned oversexualisation in fandoms. I understand the struggle (and roll my eyes at times to when I see what fandom does with my f/os and not only, as if there was nothing else to do than sex), but not going to lie, the argument about asexuality rubbed me the wrong way a little bit, especially since I'm a grey ace myself, in a sexual relationship with another ace person and f/oing a canon asexual character (also in a sexual way).

Asexual doesn't equal sexless and sex repulsed. There are ace people who have and enjoy sex for many reasons, hypersexual aces exist, aces who engage in relationships for the sake of sex only exist. We aren't a super tiny minority - but even if we were, our voice would be still as valid.

Not going to lie, putting a pressure on asexuality in a context of lacking sex (or even sex repulsion) is a little bit erasing regarding aces with a different approach to it. Of course, our approach is different than allos' approach to sex, but overall asexuality is a rich spectrum and forcing us all into one box, even if not intentionally and done by fellow aces who assume we all are more or less same, is what only adds to the feeling of alienation. We can criticize fandom obsession with sex and romance without unintentionally spreading stereotypes allo people stuck to us.

Selfshipping with a character canonically in ace spectrum helped me a lot with embracing my sexuality, understanding it better. It helped me a lot with the feeling of being lost and guilty with how I perceive sex, my needs and my body. I wish he was explored by fandom in less allo and in more ace way, of course I do, but overall when I seek sexual content with him, in most of cases I feel comforted and less alone. I remind myself people like me exist, are valid, can be free of guilt regarding their needs.

I'm sorry for the rant and I really, really hope the previous Anon - and you - don't take it as an attack 😞 I just wish the stigma of asexuality being exclusively sexless and all connotations to it died already.

Hey anon!

Putting under the cut to save the eyeballs of minors ;)

So - I totally see your point and I don't think the original sender was completely saying "All aces should be anti sex" because they did mention that they identify as asexual and that they have written sexy stuff in the past.

From what I gathered in the original anon's message was the frustration over the volume of solely sexual fics. Which I can totally understand.

I'm on the ace spectrum myself. I'm not sex repulsed (most of the time) so I certainly like reading my fair share of sexy fics and writing them. Hell, I write erotica for income on the side.

But there are times when my god, the deluge of sexy fics gets to be discouraging and overwhelming and I just want like...one fic to be not sexy.

In the original anon's message, I heard frustration that this character who comes across as asexual is largely portrayed in a very sexual manner. That - in itself - isn't the problem. A fictional character can be portrayed any way in fanfiction.

The problem - from what I understand - comes from the glossing over of the character's other traits and focusing solely on sex appeal.

Also, as an asexual person yourself - heck, as a PERSON person - I think we can all identify with the frustration of wanting - and being unable to find - a selection of fanfiction that does not involve sex if we're just plain not in the mood. Sometimes we want hurt/comfort or slice of life domesticity or literally anything that does not involve sex.

I didn't hear that the anon implied the character and his portrayal should be completely sex-free at all times though. I just heard weariness and exhaustion and a desperation for at least *some* non-sexualized fics.

However, I completely understand your point and I've had to back some shippers in the community who got flack for romantically shipping with a canonically ace and aro character.

When I was in my late 20's and trying to wade through whether I was or was not asexual, there were a lot of gatekeepers who pushed the, "You must have nothing to do with sex if you identify as asexual."

It wasn't until I read a very well-researched, well-written book by an asexual, aromantic woman that I finally understood the spectrum and felt comfortable settling on that identity.

Overall, I very much agree! It's really good to keep reiterating and having discussions about how sexuality is experienced by people around the world and how it's portrayed in media, whether canon or fanfiction!

[sandalaris]

ace asks: 2, 11, 15, and 18! 💖

🖤🤍💜

2. 🖤 what ace-spec microlabels, if any, do you identify as?

I don't really use it much, but the term gray-fray-romantic are both aro-spec microlabels I identify with. As for ace-spec microlabels, sometimes I feel like cupiosexual might fit me, but considering my struggles with wanting to be sexually desired stems from how our society teaches young girls that much of our worth comes from how sexually appealing we are to men... The more I fix my own internalized misogyny the less I care one way or another if my partner desires me sexually. And that got way more deep than I meant it too, lol.

11. 🤍 what's your favorite part about being asexual?

As much as I want to say the flag (the colors are just so pretty!), in reality finding a label for what I've always felt was such a relief. I didn't even realize I was struggling with putting a name to it, I'd always just laughed it off as "I think about sex differently." But realizing that people really did experience this mystical thing called sexual attraction and that it wasn't just made up by writers to create more drama in stories, it made so many things sudden clear to me and was such a relief.

15. 💜 if you could tell allosexual people one thing, what would it be?

Stop asking asexuals questions about what they do with their privates! It may seem like a no-brainer, but the top three questions I get asked when people find out I'm ace is "Do you masturbate?" "Are you a virgin?" "Were you sexually assaulted/raped?" Nope, not kidding. I get asked those three questions all. The. Time. Not two days ago two guys heard I was asexual and both immediately asked me two of those questions back to back. Someone else asked me if that I meant I was into children (admittedly a less common question), and many others have told me I just haven't had good sex yet. There's something about being ace that causes people to think it's perfectly appropriate to ask really invasive questions.

18. 🖤 what fictional characters do you headcanon as asexual?

Daryl Dixon! Its even semi-confirmed through bts stuff. Of course, they also started out saying that Daryl might be gay bts before switching it to saying he's never experienced attraction before and that he's "not really a sexual guy." Which is yet another reason I don't take bts talk as canon, lol. But either way! I headcanon Daryl as between demisexual and asexual, depending on my mood.

I headcanon Sherlock Holmes as being asexual in most adaptations. The exception being Elementary where I headcanon him as aromantic heterosexual (mostly confirmed), and Joan Watson as poly gray-romantic (which was at least half-confirmed/half-theorized by the characters on screen).

I like, but rarely headcanon, the idea of Derek Hale being ace. He's got a lot of trauma surrounding sex, which makes this a stickier one because there's already way too much assumption that something (usually sexual trauma) "makes" someone ace, and I'm afraid to dive too much into asexual!Derek Hale for fear of finding people doing exactly that with him.

I feel like Sheldon Cooper's a no-brainer. He's all but stated so on screen, even if bts they've been rather against the idea. Stupid acephobic writers (I'm also side-eying the Riverdale writers for this. They completely erased Jughead's canon touch-repulsed asexual aromantic orientation from the comics and made him straight because "asexuals are boring." ARG! I'm still pissed about it.)

And to keep this list from getting too long, I'm going to do one more! I headcanon every version of the Doctor as somewhere on the ace spectrum. From gray-ace to sex-repulsed ace, s/he's on there somewhere. Although how much does that count because s/he's literal from an alien race who's sexual orientations probably don't align with humans? Oh well, that's what I headcanon!

[mcrmadness]

I understand the need to relate and find relatable characters/people from e.g. medias - I do that all the time too! But I just realized something that I'm not sure if it's related to my aroaceness, or if it's just me being a tad older (but still not one of the oldest either) than the majority on this website.

So I realized that I'm often getting annoyed by posts where everyone headcanons either characters, people or idk, groups of something as a certain orientation or gender or trans or whatever. And I realized that it annoys me so much because: what does it matter what they are or aren't?

This is where I don't know if I it's just my age or aroaceness or both, but I simply don't CARE what they are or hypothetically are. I like canon if it's well written. Het couples in medias annoy me if it's clear they exist only because of heteronormativity. I like it when characters are and are let to be cis, I like it when people "respect" canon genders and orientations. Here it's probably a bit of that identity thing for me too because I'm not trans, but also not cis (I like the word "cisn't" actually), so I always feel a bit left out when everything has to be trans this or that. So when everyone talks about hormones or surgeries on people or characters who show no signs of that, I just feel left out (also because you can still bw comfortable in your birth body and not be cis, e.g. I'm agender.)

So in my case it's more that I just don't care about those things on characters much because they don't affect it how I will see them, "lgbt+" or not. I don't seek for aro/ace/agender characters because I don't find that as the most important thing ever. It's only a nice bonus if a characters turns out to not be a stereotypical cis/het but something else. I don't start reading a book, watching a movie or series only because I've heard it has lgbt+ characters. It's super cool when lgbt+ are included as it tells something about the people whined the media, but there are so many things that have nothing to do with how someone identifies with and that are more important to me than their identity. E.g. I don't need to make a straight character aro and/or ace, I just prefer that they leave the romance at home and the main story would just focus on other things. Like, the adventure for example, or friendships pr whatever. It doesn't wipe out their identity, it's just not pushed into anyone's face.

It's very likely that my age affects this also because when I was a teenager/adolescent and then a young adult, I simply HAD no characters to relate to. We barely got even gay characters during the mid and late 2000s, let alone other orientations. Can you imagine the only characters I could relate to with my asexuality and aromanticism, long before even hearing those terms, were mainly fictional serial killers? And can you imagine how worried it made me. I related to Dexter Morgan because he wasn't interested in sex, had a romantic relationship only to appear normal (since he was a serial killer) but did care about his girlfriend, just differently than "normal people". Like, I'm not mad about this because at least somewhere someone understood something about me, but I was often worried if I'd be a psychopath too. I started watching Dexter when I was 15, I think I learnt about asexuality when I was 17 and about romantic orientations and aromanticism when I was already over 20.

I've always been completely fine with whatever I identify with. After finding those terms, I've never felt like I was broken or faulty. I have never really needed reassurance nor support regarding my identity. I don't understand when people pretend e.g. not liking something or not being interested in something only because of peer pressure. So, idk, I don't know what I'm saying here anymore. I guess the point was just that such posts annoy the heck out of me sometimes because I don't understand why those things are important in a character, and what makes an lgbt+ character more likeable and interesting than a character who is cis and/or het.

[transarchivist]

Do you have any podcast recommendations? I've listened to tma, wolf359, the penumbra podcast, and like...half of night vale. You seem like you'd know some good ones!

!!!

I Am In Eskew is an absolute all-time favorite of mine! It’s very firmly horror, but not tragedy. Think… WTNV but 1. on a personal scale, 2. actually terrifying, and 3. not benign. It follows David Ward, inhabitant of the city Eskew, as he chronicles some of the terrifying stuff that happens to him. Eventually, we hear from Riyo Dulae, a private investigator who’s been pulled into Eskew’s orbit. It uses place-as-horror in an astonishing way! It’s a finished product with 30 episodes and the ending is honestly amazing. I’ve listened to it several times. It’s very good. Listen to it. Please.

This got long, so the rest of the recommendations are under the cut, and in no particular order! (Eskew is absolutely my top recommendation lol) Particularly sad endings and ongoing series are specified.

Janus Descending is a finished and relatively short sci-fi horror series. It follows two xenoarcheologists (archeologists for aliens) as they inspect the site of an abandoned alien civilization. It’s told in inverse chronological order, alternating between Chel and Peter’s perspectives. Chel’s is chronological, while Peter’s is backwards. It’s an amazing format and keeps you suspended in the mystery up until the very end! It is a tragedy, though, and has a sad ending.

ars PARADOXICA is an audio drama about time-travel and the Cold War. The synopsis is this: scientist Sally Grissom accidentally creates time travel, is transported back to the Cold War, and is entwined with a clandestine branch of the US government. It’s 3 seasons long- and I will say that if you’re not good with differentiating voices I recommend either listening to it without stopping for a long period and/or reading along to transcripts. The plot is intricate but engaging and the large cast of characters each has their own unique personality. Plus: canon ace main character (as in she says she’s asexual! in canon!), a Jewish lesbian semi-main character, a mlm (bi?) man of color side-character, and several other characters of color.

Mabel is an ongoing horror podcast with elements of fae/fairy lore and the place-as-horror theme. It’s not as outright horror as TMA, Eskew, or Janus Descending, it’s much more atmospheric? It’s several seasons in, with the next season currently in production. It follows Anna Limon, who is an in-home caretaker, trying to contact Mabel Martin, the granddaughter of the woman Anna is caring for. It has lots of wlw, lots of moral ambiguity, beautiful prose, and lots and lots of fae. 

Zero Hours is a 7 episode long anthology series by the creators of Wolf 359. Each episode deals with “the end of the world - or at least something that feels like the end of the world.” There’s 99-year intervals between episode and it starts in the past and ends in the far future. It’s honestly stunning and was well worth listening to in it’s entirety when it dropped (and subsequently staying up past midnight). 

The Bright Sessions is… kinda urban fantasy? The official synopsis is that TBS is a “science fiction podcast that follows a group of therapy patients. But these are not your typical patients - each has a unique supernatural ability. The show documents their struggles and discoveries as well as the motivations of their mysterious therapist, Dr. Bright.” (I tried explaining but was having a tricky time) The characters are amazingly written and unique. (And no, it doesn’t fall into the “evil therapist” idea, in case you were worried) One of the main characters is gay (and it isn’t a throwaway line). It has good and realistic representation of mental illnesses: a main character as a panic/anxiety disorder, another has PTSD, another has depression, and so on. The main show is finished but there’s a spin off that’s being made. Specifically happy ending!

Alice Isn’t Dead is a horror podcast by the creators of Night Vale. It follows Keisha, a trucker, who is looking for her wife, Alice. Keisha encounters many strange things as she drives back and forth across America, including murderous almost-human monsters, places that are stuck out of time, and a nation spanning conspiracy. It encompasses the whole… atmosphere of middle-of-nowhere America perfectly. It’s a complete story with a novel form (haven’t had the pleasure of reading it, though). Main character is wlw, and Alice is not dead.

Limetown is a horror podcast. It follows reporter Lia Haddock as she investigates the mystery of Limetown- a town in Tennessee where over 300 people disappeared overnight, never to be heard from again. It’s finished…? I think the podcast is finished but a book and a Facebook miniseries are in development? Anyways. Sad ending. I loved the first season a lot, the second season is good too though!

The Adventure Zone isn’t an audio drama, instead it’s an actual-play show of Dungeons and Dragons (and D&D like systems). The McElroy brothers and their dad host it, and are frankly absolutely hilarious. TAZ: Balance is the first season and starts as a classic d&d game but turns into an amazing and heart wrenching story with beautiful prose and music. And also 69 jokes. TAZ:B is honestly one of the most emotionally impacting stories I’ve ever heard. It has an amazingly happy and hopeful ending. Includes: casual lgbt rep and a late game but major character is a trans woman! I’ve heard good things about the recently finished season TAZ: Amnesty, although I haven’t finished it. There’s a new season, TAZ: Graduation, that started recently, and I’ve enjoyed the handful of episodes I’ve listened to! Currently ongoing, but tragic endings aren’t something that’s expected.

I haven’t finished/caught up with these, but I’ve enjoyed them: Sayer (sci-fi. think menacing capitalist Night Vale in space, heard s3/s4 are really good), The Bridge (horror, alternate modern day. follows a watchpost on a bridge that crosses the Atlantic), The Orbiting Human Circus (from the people at WTNV. surreal fiction. hard to explain). I feel like there’s more but I can’t remember any atm. 

I’m also gonna point you towards @theradioghost‘s blog and her podcast recs tag. Her taste is amazing and I haven’t disliked a single show I’ve tried. (Also, check out her show, Midnight Radio! It’s the next thing on my to-listen list.)

[arocharacteradvice]

So I've got a main character who's an aro ace. I'm an aspec myself but have no experience writing such things myself. Would there be any unhealthy stereotypes or tropes that should avoid when writing my character into their story?

So, I think if you’re aro yourself, you don’t need to be anywhere as careful about avoiding ‘problematic’ tropes as an alloro would be, especially if you’re not portraying an aro character a certain way out of ignorance or hate, but because of your own experiences. 

That said, there definitely are some stereotypes that a lot of aros dislike in aro characters, which I’ll list in case you want something to actively subvert, or if when you say you’re aspec, you don’t mean specifically aro. Anyone can feel free to add onto the list with tropes they dislike, too.

‘Shipper on board’ is the name commonly given to an aro character who is weirdly enthusiastic about getting other characters together or enjoying their relationships on general. The writers of such characters seem to think aros need someone else’s romantic experiences to make up for the ‘lack’ of our own, or don’t understand how many aros are confused/repulsed by romance, and may even see their friends dating as a sign they’re about to be left behind based on past experience. 

Aroace characters only being canonically referred to as asexual and never aro, or otherwise only really representing their ace side. This implies that the aro label is just a subset of the ace one, or not important enough to be mentioned or commented on. It tends to result in ‘representation’ that feels like it’s neither explicit, relatable, or realistic enough for aro readers to enjoy.

This one might just be me? But I dislike when a character is only mentioned to be aro in passing or by the author, and their experiences are never actually explored. Casual representation might be fine for an identity which is more obvious from page to page, but you can easily forget a character is even aro and not just single if the author ends the representation at ‘character doesn’t date. Moving on.’ I’ve never really seen the aro experience expanded on via things like romance repulsion, joy at singlehood, internalized bigotry, being gnc, being an activist etc. the way other queer characters get to have a fleshed out queer life. 

Alloromantic characters claiming to care about their aro friend just as much as their partners (and the author portraying this as true) when in practice the partners are the ones they marry, have kids with, are more affectionate with, prioritise, support financially etc. Going for an equal dynamic is great but most fiction I’ve seen try it doesn’t know what equal means.

Soulmates! at all, even if they’re platonic, or don’t apply to everyone, or, or. Just check out @aro-soulmate-project to see why many aros dislike any version on the soulmate concept.

You don’t have to avoid all of these things religiously, especially if you’re aro yourself as I already mentioned, or if you want to use the stereotypes as something to subvert in order to make a point. I’ve just listed a few things to help from a huge selection of disliked tropes, and I’m sure people will have more to add. Don’t let them get into your way, make you worry about being ‘problematic’ constantly, or prevent you from writing based on your own experiences. Just keep them in mind.

- Mod Kaladin