#I've mentioned that I only take a few letters at a time for a character at this point and I think I will stand by that

[cerise-on-top]

A fluff alphabet for Kate? Also I wish you luck on your test on friday!!!! I failed my drivers test three times so I feet you

Hey! Thank you, it's gonna be rough tomorrow, but I'm gonna pull through! I will get that driver's license! But I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who failed ^^;

Fluff Alphabet for Laswell

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Laswell loves going to museums and stuff like that. Not only does she get to have fun with you, she also gets to learn things that may or may not come in handy eventually. She’d especially love to go to a museum that showcases something you’re interested in as well. Although she may not like how bustling they can be at times, she just loves seeing and hearing about new things. And if you’re enjoying yourself too? Two birds with one stone.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

I think Laswell could admire your wits and your intelligence. You don’t have to know every single little detail about everything, but she loves how your eyes light up when you animatedly talk about something you’re passionate about, how you give her the seemingly most useless fun facts about something she normally couldn’t care less about. She admires how passionate you are about one thing or another. She hasn’t really been into something this much in a long time, which she kind of misses, but she gets to live that passion through you again.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

She’d try to rationalize everything. In her eyes, most things should follow some form of logic, so she’s not a very emotional person either. She knows that doesn’t hold true for emotions, but instead of beating yourself up over something that wasn’t your fault to begin with, why not think about the good things that happened? If you’re experiencing a panic attack she’ll start breathing with you, trying to calm you down. She won’t touch you, though, since that’s likely the last thing you need. Will shoo away any onlookers there may be.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

I think she’d just want to live in a pretty spacious apartment with you. She doesn’t necessarily need a pet either, but she does want a patio. Will want to look after some plants with you, grow some of your own. She wants to have a domestic life with you, one, where she doesn’t need to worry about either of you getting killed because of her job. However, she’s looking forward to retirement, as much as she does love her job. Something about waking up with you next to her just feels right to her.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

She can go either way. Sometimes she’s more dominant, sometimes she’s more passive. If you’re on the passive side, then she’ll take on the dominant role, if you’re on the dominant side then she’ll usually be on the passive one. However, she will be dominant from time to time, making known what she thinks when it counts. But if it’s something like choosing a restaurant to eat at, then you can decide. But if you don’t want to or can’t, then she’ll happily take the burden off your shoulder.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

She knows you usually don’t mean what you say in the heat of the moment, so she forgives you after she’s cooled down a bit. However, you might wanna show a bit of remorse for fighting with her as well. Laswell, when annoyed, becomes a bit snippy, but it’s nothing too bad, she usually has her emotions under control. She doesn’t yell, she doesn’t shout, she just hisses at you from time to time, but that’s about it. Give her some time to calm down and all will be well.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

She’s a pretty grateful woman. She knows that having a partner as great and lovely as you isn’t a given, especially not the fact that you always tend to help her out whenever you can. You lend her an ear, you help her with the house chores, you become a safe anchor for her. She’s truly grateful to have you in her life. Usually she shows it by giving you little gifts since that’s her way of showing love. Small trinkets to jewelry, anything goes.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Yes, there are plenty of things she doesn’t tell you. She’s CIA, so naturally she can’t tell you everything that’s going on. She doesn’t tell you everything about her past either. It’s not that she doesn’t want to, if you ask her to tell you something she will, but she doesn’t deem it that important anymore to herself. The past is the past, and that’s it. There’s nothing more to it and she doesn’t want to dwell on it either, so she just leaves it behind.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

Like Nikolai, I think she’s become a pretty solid person on her own by the time you’ve met. However, I could see her changing you for the better. Laswell is a very caring woman, but she can also be a bit fussy when worried. She’ll likely tell you to take better care of herself. You will, because she keeps nagging at you to do so. If you ever need anything to take care of yourself, like meds or any other kind of aid, she’s more than happy to either pay for it or help you pay for it. She’ll likely do what she can to help you become better.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Laswell doesn’t get jealous very easily. She’s a diplomat, if she wants someone to leave then she’ll just talk them into doing so. So, Laswell doesn’t deal with jealousy very often. Besides, if you want to spend time with someone else, make new connections, then she won’t stop you. Having connections is one of the most important things out there, so she’ll actively encourage you to go out and talk to people other than her. But if you want, you can start small and just talk to her friends for now.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Laswell has had a few girlfriends in the past, but nothing that lasted too long, unfortunately. She’s kissed them here and there and was pretty decent at it. She’s not bad at kissing, definitely not as clumsy as, say, Farah. The first kiss with her would be short but sweet. She’d just stargaze with you and ask you if she could kiss you. Again, the kiss wouldn’t last long, but the soft and tender gaze she gave you afterwards was ingrained into your brain forever. She still looks at you like that when she thinks you aren’t looking.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

I think she’d take you on a fancy “date” first. She’d take you to a nice restaurant and then to an aquarium, a planetarium or a museum so you can have fun there together. Afterwards she’d take you to a nice and open field where she’d confess to you. No gifts, but she wants that day to be one you can remember forever. Besides, maybe she could sway you into saying yes by having a nice day with you before confessing.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

Yes, Laswell wants to get married. She’d propose during a holiday, like Christmas, or any other holiday you celebrate. And if you don’t celebrate anything then she’ll propose to you on your birthday. She’d get on one knee and pull out the ring in the middle of the restaurant. She does want that free dessert, in all honesty. Marriage with her would be sweet. You’d both have your duties together and work on them together. You’d go on dates fairly often, you’d go on vacation. If you work at something like an amusement park, then she’ll come visit you as well and just chat with you for a while.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Her nicknames aren’t very fancy. They’re the classic ones you’d expect from her. Something along the lines of my love, sweetheart and sweetie. However, if you know at least two languages, or if your native tongue isn’t English, then she’ll call you pet names in those other languages as well. If she knows that language, that’s great, if she doesn’t, then she’ll simply learn it. Either way, you will be loved in every language you know, Laswell stops at nothing to attain that.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

It’s not very obvious. She usually keeps her relationships professional and doesn’t get closer to people than she needs to. So she wouldn’t give you any special treatment just because she’s in love with you. If you’re shy, then she’s more inclined to start a conversation with you and invite you for some coffee, but she won’t go out of her way for anything else. If anything, once she realizes she’s in love with you she might avoid you a bit and hope that the feelings will go away on their own.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

No, Laswell doesn’t brag. She doesn’t tell very many people about you either. Not everyone needs to know about you since it will put in you danger, which she doesn’t want. The people close to her know about you, so Nikolai and the TF141 and a select few other people, but no one else. It’s no one’s business that you’re dating. She doesn’t do PDA either. She’s not at all a big fan of it and believes that those kinds of acts of affection should be kept behind closed doors.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

She’s extremely observant, rational and can use her words very well. It’ll be rare for Laswell to offend you, she carefully chooses her words before speaking since the peace of an entire country could depend on that. She knows what kind of effect certain words have on you and will use that to her advantage. Not for evil, mind you, but to make you feel better, more confident, and happied. Laswell loves you too much to be mean to you and use her abilities for evil.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

Laswell is rather cliched when it comes to romance. She loves going on walks with you, going to aquariums and just watching awful movies together. She could be creative if she wanted to be, but she thinks a normal romance suffices for her. It doesn’t need to be anything fancy, something basic will do just fine. Besides, you likely won’t get hurt while eating at a candlelit dinner. You might get hurt while scuba diving, though.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Yes. Laswell is an older lady, she knows a lot of things about life by now. If you need advice, she’s there for you. If you need her help in any other way then she’ll do what she can to assist you. Just give her the word and she’ll do just about anything for you. She definitely does believe in you and that you can achieve just about anything you set your mind to. As long as your goals aren’t detrimental to your health, she’ll support just about anything you do.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

No, she doesn’t particularly need anything new. She gets the unexpected and new at her job pretty much every day. She loves having a routine with nothing unexpected popping up, it helps her relax. Sure, you can try some unfamiliar food together, or you can drive to a new city and go shopping there, but she doesn’t particularly want something new every day. Having a routing is nice, it means everything is going according to plan for once and she doesn’t need to fear anything.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

She knows you pretty well by the time you’re together. It takes years for Laswell to be in a relationship with someone, so she’ll know you pretty well by then. Besides, she can read people like they’re open books, and that does include you as well. She’s somewhat empathetic, but not a lot. Sure, she can feel the emotions of others if she’s close with them, but she doesn’t feel them as intensely as the other person. 

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

Your relationship is pretty important to her. I’d say your relationship is slightly more important to her than her job. Sure, she won’t just quit because you tell her to, but she will take your feelings into consideration as well. She’s well aware you want her to be safe and sound, but she just can’t always guarantee that. Sure, she’ll do her best to come home to you at the end of the day unscathed, but you can’t expect her to quit something that’s so important to her. She will argue with you about that as well, she’s not afraid to speak her mind.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

Her favorite animal is the lamb, so you’ve likely gifted her a small keychain with a cuddle little lamb on it. It’s her favorite item. Sure, it’s nothing special, but it means the world to her. She takes it with her wherever she goes. Laswell has given you a matching keychain and plushies of your favorite animal to show her gratitude as well. Life is a constant give and take, she wants you to feel loved and cared for as well. Whatever you do, Laswell will outdo you and do something even greater. It becomes a competition at some point.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

She’s affectionate in her own ways. Does she love giving you gifts and doing something for you? Yes, absolutely. Does she love to kiss and cuddle? Not particularly. Sure, she’ll kiss you in the morning before she leaves for work, and she’ll cuddle you if you really insist on doing so, but she’s not a very cuddly person. Too much physical contact irritates her greatly, so you better respect that or else your relationship won’t work out for too long. Laswell has her boundaries. She respects yours, so she expects you to do the same.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

She has a picture of the both of you sitting at the beach together in her wallet, which she looks at when she misses you. If she can, she will just call you to hear your voice, doesn’t matter if it’s midnight for her at the time. If she wants to hear from you then she will. Besides, calling you eases her nerves as well. Sure, she doesn’t get as anxious about something happening to you, she’s a rather calm person in general, but she will miss you if she’s gone for too long. Keeps in contact with you, if her mission allows it.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

Yes, she is. She breaks the law on the regular anyway, but she doesn’t mind doing it for you. She’d torture someone for you if you got kidnapped. It’s not her style to just kill someone like that unless she has good reason to, but she can be very petty if something were to happen to you. She can deprive someone of their freedom very easily and make sure they never see the sunlight again. She’ll have them thrown in the worst jail imaginable, just to make sure you’ll never be hurt again.

[transmascaraa]

heyy !! So I swear I saw you do singer-reader one time so this request is based off that :P

Singer-reader writes a song about/dedicated to Genshin characters (Whoever! You pick :] can be a love song or platonic, whichever you prefer ! )

annnyways, Feel free to skip this request if you want :) your writing is LOVELY💕🗣

ps. Love all the Palestine posts you’re doing💕🇵🇸

multiple characters headcannons!

you wrote them a love song!

characters: lyney, gaming, wanderer x gn!reader

author's note: thank youuuu it's what i've been focusing on the last few days it breaks my heart. but i'm glad i draw attention to people<3 now onto the req, I WROTE 10/11 LOVE SONGS FOR LYNEY BACK IN OCTOBER. I WAS SO BORED BUT I LOVE THEM ALL. if you guys want i can find them at home and maybe write the lyrics here! this req is beautiful frfr and i used chars that you guys like the most so yeah :3

✯ Lyney

-he's a total simp for you and everyone knows.

-lynette literally kicked him out of the house a few times and sent him to your house because he was so annoying like bro would rant about you 24/7 most intesely from midnight to 3/4am until he fell asleep halfway.

-lynette and freminet were tired of it.

-now, if you were to write a love song dedicated to him, and gave him the lyrics first, not singing yet, he would be shocked.

-it was hard to get alone time in the first place because he's clingy af

-eyes wide opened, mouth open, blushing as fuck, you name it.

-after he calmed himself down and told you how good it is (not to mention, he almost started crying on the spot) he would literally get on his knees if he had to just to hear you sing it to him.

-when he convinces you to do so, he might actually shed a tear after you finish. he just can't believe that he's THAT special to you and that you love him that much.

-you would hear him/find him singing that song randomly throughout the day because now it's the best song he's ever known and the only one that gets stuck in his head.

-y'know when you loop a song and it gets boring overtime? well it will never get boring to him.

-his literal breaking point would be if you said that you made more or that you will make more.

-for some reason i write lyney so dramatic and it's canon because i'm rosseland trust me bro

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

✷ Gaming

-he's not as dramatic as lyney, but he'll definitely be shocked the same amount.

-he knows you love him, you know he loves you, what else was there to say?

-well you wanted to show him your love for him in a different way this time, one that would leave him flustered for sure.

-you wrote the song, sure, but weren't that sure if he would like it.

-it doesn't matter what you thought, it's what will happen.

-you hand him the paper with the lyrics on it and he has a reaction similar to lyney's, but he doesn't look like he was about to break down and cling onto you like a puppy

-he smiled widely after he read it, and you smiled back.

-telling you he likes it and praising you for anything and everything.

-cuddles are a MUST after that.

-he would be blushing for the next few days but it's okay because he's adorable.

-if you decide to sing it to him he will be blushing 10× more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

✧ Wanderer

-tough. a tough choice you'd decide to make knowing him.

-he would be brutally honest and if there was a single mistake that you made you were sure that you'd get lectured for it and it would take a few hours.

-so you risked it.

-you wrote the song, checked for any mistakes in grammar, the way you write your letters, or even the rhyming in the song, and did that like 6 million times.

-you gave him the lyrics to the song and looked for ANY reaction from him, any SIGN that he liked it or disliked it. the only thing you were seeing were his pupils dilating.

-halfway through him reading the song, you spot a mistake in your grammar and tried to interrupt him.

-"oh, kuni, wait, i messed up-" but he swished his hand in front of your face, as a gesture of you NOT to interrupt him.

-the only reaction that you saw by the end of it were his red cheeks.

-he may have turned his head away from you to hide it but you saw it and immediately felt relieved, even if all he said was "it's alright..."

-he's never felt so appreciated and loved in his life so this was something really big for him.

-do it again and he won't be able to hide it much this time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

iloveitiloveitiloveit

love the idea sm it reminds me of myself i'm literally dying how specific it is😭

hope you liked it tho!

@whywontmybrainload @mariaace <3

[neoarchipelago]

And they were Roommates (part 6)

A/n: ok here's a little warning. First from now on i'll take a bit longer to publish because ... work. It's also slightly shorter than usual

second i've realised that i had completely forgotten that Keller is the last name of the character Alex. So i do want to underline that it is not in fact alex Keller.

third, thank you so much for the love you have given to this story, it warms my heart. I hadn't written in a long time and i was afraid to post anything. I'm really happy that you guys like it.

Fourth, thank you so much for the little ideas you send me, they're very helpful. I apologise if I fon't translate the full idea into the story but i try to add any little thing you send my way.

fifth, you are entirely allowed to fucking hate me.

Warnings: as usual, cursing, violence, mentions of death.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

"(Y/N)". 

You smirked.

"Yes?" You questioned, glancing back as you sat at the counter in the kitchen. 

"What time is it?" He asked from the couch. 

"It's 7pm" you answered. 

You smiled down at your computer. (Y/N). You had heard him say your name more than a couple dozen times today. Since you both told each other your real names, he had seemed to chant it non-stop. At any little question or situation. 

"Y/N." 

You rolled your eyes. 

"Yes Simon?" You chanted sweetly. 

A few seconds ticked before he answered. 

"I have to tell you something." He answered, tone serious. 

You paused your current activity to turn in your seat towards him. He was looking back at you. 

"I have a Mission scheduled." He warned. 

"Oh. Alright." You answered cautiously. 

"I won't be here for a while." He announced. 

"For… a while?" You frowned. "How long?" 

"Around 2 months." 

You swallowed, looking away. You didn't exactly know how to react. Obviously he had missions. You found yourself in a mix of sadness, worry and frustration. 

"Y/N." 

You looked up at him. By the look in his eyes, you felt like he was going to ask if you were ok. And you didn't want to answer that. 

"Why do you keep calling my name?" You asked. 

He remained silent. You stood up walking to the couch letting yourself fall next to him. He closed the file on his lap, red letters stamped on it. 

"Simon ?" You pushed. 

"I don't." He defended. 

"Simon." You scolded kindly. 

He groaned, looking away. 

"How will you know if I'm addressing myself to you?" He debated. 

"We literally are the only two people here." You chuckled. He ignored it. 

You sighed, shrugging. You turned to the TV letting yourself enjoy the time you could spend with him. The tv played with whatever show was on as you started to think about something to order for dinner, too tired to cook. 

"I like it." 

You blinked. 

"Hm?" You questioned, turning to him. 

He raised his hand, turning your head so you looked at the tv instead. 

"I said. I like your name." 

"Oh. Really? It's nothing extraordinary though." You said blushing a bit. 

"I was curious. After a few weeks. About your name." 

You tried turning your head to him but he repeated his move, groaning annoyingly.

"It's… delicate…" he praised. 

You felt your heart rate quicken. He.. liked your name. 

"So… you like how it sounds?" You asked. 

"Pretty much." He said matter of factly. 

"Alright." You nodded. 

"I like… that it's your name."

You turned your attention back to the TV, your mind unable to process anything after what he had just told you. 

"I.." you started after a long minute. 

"I like when you say it…" you said in a low voice. 

The rest of the evening was spent very calmly. As per contrast to the rest of the week. 

You sighed, grabbing your things to head out. Simon had been spending more and more time at the base. He had been preparing with the squad, preparing gear, tactics and training harder.

You could feel it. He had progressively grown colder. The ghost taking its rightful place, ready to hunt its target. You could feel him being careful around you, his mood had a drastic change and it seemed he tried to keep you away. 

You tried to give him the space he needed. But you grew more and more worried and sad as the days passed. 

You walked out of the door, walking down the apartment complex. 

You stopped and cursed as soon as you walked outside. 

"Hey Sparrow! Ready?" 

"Soap. What are you doing here?" You asked, obviously already aware of the answer. 

"Price asked me to come pick you up on the way to the base." The sergeant answered with a smile. 

You rolled your eyes. Walking to him he opened the passenger seat for you. You thanked him, sitting and buckling your seatbelt. You watched the man skip to his side and get in. As you started driving to the base you asked. 

"How is he this morning?" You asked. 

"Well. Murderous." He smirked. "He's been training with some recruits coming along on the mission this morning and I think he's making them regret ever enlisting." He laughed. 

You sighed. His mood had been becoming more and more sour. Not necessarily because he didn't want this mission, but mostly because he was entirely focusing on his target. The thought made a shiver down your spine. 

"I don't think I'll be of help this time." You said. 

Price had been asking you to come by the training sessions or after meetings to try and soothe his moods, but the closer the day of departure arrived the harder it became. 

"Ah, don't worry. We're used to it. He's not entirely bad. As soon as he'll be in the field, he'll be the LT we're used to." He said. "We, the squad. I don't think you've seen him like that. But not sure… he wants you to." He said with a smile your way. 

You bit your lip. Did you want to see him like that? A part of you did want. Another felt anxious at the thought. 

The rest of the ride was spent in small talk. The closer you got to the base the more you could feel your body fall into a stressful state. 

When soap parked in front of the training grounds, you walked out before entering the warehouse, the first thing you heard was the sound of people talking. The place had been rearranged as a training ground. Various dummies, people sparing at each other on mattresses. 

Soap dragged you towards the rest of the squad a bit further from the rest. 

"Here's our little bird." Price smiled. 

You sighed but threw him a weak smile. You turned your head to the closest training mat. A breath caught in your throat. He saw fighting. With a man that surprisingly was a bit taller than him, also wearing a mask, though much looser. You watched the punches and kicks being thrown. They weren't holding back. Suddenly Ghost body slammed his opponent to the ground, the sound echoing. You flinched. That must have hurt. 

"Don't worry, sparrow. They're used to it." Price tried to reassure you. 

"Sure… if you say so. He seems to be fully into it." You commented. 

"He is." 

"I don't understand captain. Soap said it's usual for him to behave like this before a mission. Why do you want me to show up everyday?" You asked, turning to him. 

He put a hand on your shoulder, walking you a few steps away from the rest of the squad. 

"This time is a bit different. He seems. Frustrated." 

"I don't think my presence helps." 

"It does a bit. Though I know it's getting harder for you to deal with his mood. Today especially. The departures date was moved. We leave in 48h." He said with a sorry look. 

You took a moment to process the information.

"It's not hard to deal with it. I'm just sensing it's being more and more useless. He's getting frustrated at me." You answered honestly. 

"I don't want you two to fight. You don't have to go see him." 

"I'll try. One last time." You replied with a soft smile. 

He nodded. You turned back to Ghost. The fight was over, his opponent walked away, slightly limping and rubbing the back of his neck. You walked towards him. 

"You ok?" You asked lowly. 

"Ah, ja, I'm ok!" He answered the taint of accent on his words. 

You smiled, continuing your path towards the man readjusting his gloves. 

"Hey." 

He stiffened, looking back at you. 

"Why are you here?" 

Ouch. You smirked at him. 

"Price asked me to come check something for your mission." You lied. 

He nodded. His chest heaved, his breath had quickened from the physical exercise though he didn't seem out of breath.

"Will you be home for dinner?" You asked. 

"I don't know." He answered in a cold tone. 

You could hear, Price started to walk up to you too very slowly. 

"I can keep a plate for you if-" 

"Sparrow. I'M BUSY." He barked, the sound echoing. A dreadful silence stood in the whole place. Everyone had stopped talking.

You flinched. Not enough for the others to see but he had noticed. The sound of small talk started again, probably under Price's glare.

"I'm sorry Ghost." You tried. Standing your ground hands behind your back. 

"Lieutenant." He corrected coldly. 

Price had finally reached the both of you. 

"Fine." You spat back, the staring match now showing off both of your frustrations. 

"Do you need anymore help captain?" You asked, not dropping your gaze from Ghost. 

"No sparrow. Thank you and I apologize for-" 

"It's fine. If lieutenant Riley wants to be a dickhead that's on him." You said, visibly angry and visibly taunting the man. 

You turned around walking to the rest of the squad. 

"You good?" Gaz asked.

"I'm perfect. I'll see you guys another time." You said with a smile towards them before exiting the perimeter. You took a deep breath outside. Fuck. What was wrong with him? The behavior had changed so drastically. A week ago, he was chanting your name in every sentence. Now he refused to even say it. He was cold. It was hard to hide the fact it was hurting. You were trying to see his point of view too, but you missed his old self. 

You closed your eyes for a second. You had work to get to. So you did. 

You had stalled. A lot. It was very late. You didn't need to be at the base. You could have spent the day working from home. Fuck you had finished all your work. Yet it was 9pm. And you were only turning the key in the lock to the apartment now. 

You didn't want to fight again. You didn't want to fight before he left. You dropped your things on the ground and fell face first on the couch. The house was silent. Dark. It felt odd. You turned, grabbing a pillow and hugging it. You closed your eyes. Several minutes passed by before you heard his door open. You sat up as he walked into the living room. 

You shared a look. He seemed annoyed. His new signature mood.

"What?" You spat. 

"Don't." He warned. 

"Don't what?" You replied in the same tone. 

"Don't be a brat." He said. 

You laughed coldly. 

"I'm not the one being a brat Simon." 

"Lieutenant." He corrected it once more. 

You rolled your eyes. 

"Why did you pass by the training grounds again?" He asked. 

"Because Price asked me to." You answered honestly. 

You stood up walking to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. He stopped you halfway, grasping your arm. It wasn't soft but he was still careful not to hurt you. 

"Sparrow. Don't come insult me in front of my men." He said in a serious tone. 

"I didn't. I came to ask you something. You fucking yelled at me." You answered. 

"I have other things to do other than giving you attention." He scolded. 

"I didn't ask for attention." You replied, taking your arm back and crossing them over your chest. Fury growing in you.

"Y/N."

"Oh, we're back on a name to name basis?" You asked sarcastically. 

He frowned. You were pushing his buttons. Unfortunately for both of you, he was too. 

"Sparrow. You and I are not-" 

"What? We're not friends?" You asked, interrupting him. 

He stood there, silent. 

"Is that what you're going to say?" You started now letting your anger finally out. 

"Are you going to push me away again? And then leave without saying a word?" You continued your tone slowly rising. 

"Are we going to fight until you leave and then you'll come back as if nothing happened? Fuck Simon! It looks like you're doing this on purpose!!" You ended. 

And suddenly it hit you. Like a shit ton of bricks.

"You are…" you said in a whisper. 

He turned away. 

"You are! You're doing it on purpose. You're making us hate each other before you leave on missions." You said, incredulous. 

"Y/N stop." He warned in a tone that promised repercussions. 

"Why? Why are you doing this?" You asked, stepping closer. 

He seemed to think for a minute. 

"I'm a soldier. I go out there. I kill and I very possibly… get killed." He explained. 

You frowned in confusion. He groaned in annoyance. 

"I might not come back." He said abruptly. 

"I know that. So what? You think making me hate you is what…? Going to make it… feel ok?" You asked. 

He looked straight at you. 

"My death isn't something that deserves mourning." 

You blinked. You couldn't believe what you were hearing. Anger spoke volumes. Actually it moved fast too. You didn't exactly know how you grabbed the pillow from the couch and started hitting him with it. 

"SIMON, FUCKING RILEY, DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT AGAIN." You punctuated every word with a hit. 

He groaned. You were really hitting his last nerves. 

"I care! I fucking care! It's not up to you to decide if I should or not!" You said, this time tears prickling at your eyes. 

He noticed. You hit him harder trying to hide it from him. He grabbed the pillow, snatching it from your grip and throwing it somewhere in the room. He grabbed your wrists making you back up against the wall. 

"Calm down." He tried, his voice slightly calmer. 

"No! Fuck Simon!" You scolded. 

You stared at each other. 

"Lieutenant Simon ghost Riley, you better come back to me." You whispered. 

He didn't say anything. He leant forward, letting the top of his skull mask rest on your forehead and hissed a fuck. Your breaths mixing together. 

"If we hate each other. We have nothing to lose in this situation. We shouldn't have…been friends in the first place." He explained in a whisper.

"Do you hate me?" You asked in a whisper too.

His grip on your wrists tightened. He didn't answer. 

"If I don't come back. You're going to have to deal with it." He answered coldly. 

He let go of your arms, stepping back as you looked at him, eyes wide in shock. He simply turned around. And walked out of the apartment.

You bit your lip closing your eyes. God. He was stubborn. You were hurt once more. Even if you knew he didn't mean it. In his stupid attempt to spare you from being hurt, he ironically hurt you. 

You took a deep breath. You wanted to sleep, forget this whole discussion. You wanted to roll into your blankets. So you did, and you let sleep take you. 

That morning, you had gotten up with very little motivation. You had realized quite quickly he had not slept home. You tried to go about your day but your mind kept running back to him. Was he really going to leave with saying goodbye? 

The hours ticked and the more the realization settled in. He wasn't coming back. You decided to go to the base in the afternoon to drop a report. You had met with the squad, avoiding talking about their lieutenant. You told them goodbye, threatening to go find them if they don't come back. They had announced they were leaving late in the night, the departure being changed again. 

You were going to miss them. You had started to get used to their presence. To enjoy their company. They had grown on you. 

You walked home pretty late. Feeling devastated by your roommate's behavior. You wanted to see him. Talk to him. Hug him before he left. But it wouldn't happen. The thought making you want to cry. 

You walked into your apartment. The silence felt horrible. You dropped your coat over the couch, slowly walking to his bedroom. A shy knock on his door was heard. It was the only thing heard. Nothing. Your hand reached for the doorknob slowly. Turning it, you opened his door. Empty. He wasn't there. 

You turned around, feeling the need to go back to your bed. You froze. Your door was open. You frowned, slowly walking into your room. You noticed a bag on your bed. You approached, sitting next to it. You opened it, taking out the soft object inside. 

You stared at it. Tears rushing down your cheeks. It was a squish-able round plush. Of the grim reaper. It was black, with a cute skull for a face. You hugged it. 

Knock knock knock. 

You looked up. Holding the plush, you stood, walking to the door. You opened it. 

"Hi! I'm… Sergeant Hansen… I'm your new neighbor… are you ok?" 

You stared at the man in front of you.

He wasn't going to say goodbye.

----

tags:

@lemontails @cabreezer0117 @tomhardy411 @brxghtixghtz @shuttlelauncher81 @pinkdazelight @sirenbunnylol @snortangeldust @novausstuff @gasstationfifacard @emotion-not-hot-yes-hotel-trivago @simpforavillain @minimisthios @catied32 @poohkie90 @watermaylon-writes @thereealink @meimhem @sorryi-mtrash @gaymistakeboii @bittersw33t-lotus @gh0stm3g @freckledmuffin @itsasecrets-things @xback1021 @connierk690 @feedthefandoms995 @friendlyneighboorhoodgothicpagan @dead-noodles @friendly-reject @critter-mylo @honeymariee @badame0224 @kitty-satan1 @all-good-things-have-an-ending @tianotfound @thriving-n-jiving @hailstrum18 @kiruoris @thats-s0-ravenn @orcasarebigbabies @makastaco @abajointrossyearl @kaylynninice24 @cated18 @swg141 @ghost-2513 @whore4dilfs @yggrid @jaehyacinths @juneitoo @popevickysmainbitch @topgirl17 @mildlyhopeless @feyredarling92 @thegirlintheshadows101-blog  @badbittywitty @yourmom3-5 @tapioca-marzipan @xoprincesslea @here4thespice @goldyghoul @wolfyland07 @chingaderastillidie @d4z01 @stokcholm @khjssss @julesclues @hopefuloperaangelnerd

[wekiaam]

2D NEWSIES: What I would change

I just realised I've been making fake concept art for a nonexistent animated Newsies adaptation for four years now. Over time, I've been getting so many ideas for this adaptation if it ever became real, I thought I would share them with you guys! This includes story changes, cut and additional songs and ideas for characters and style. I would love to know your thoughts on these!

When I started making concept art for "2dsies" as I came to be called, I intended for it to be based on the Broadway version and the Broadway version only. However, stories on stage differ a lot from stories told on screen, it just doesn't work the same way. I do still prefer the storyline of Broadway Newsies, but I think the best version would be a combination of the best parts of all different versions, plus some necessary changes. I would want Newsies to be a love letter to every production we've had, to everyone who made happen and every theatre kid who's been geeking out over it since 1992, while also being its own standalone movie that can be enjoyed by anybody. I am in no way an adequate screenwriter, these are just a few suggestions I have for a better story!

Story

Like I said, the story will be based mainly on the Broadway storyline, meaning we still have Artist Jack, Katherine, and most elements from the show that aren't in the movie. It will, however, be quite different from the show and the movie, and maybe add some more of the real events from the newsboy strike. There are still some details and scenes I would like to add and some I would remove completely.

- I like the history lesson opening from the movie, it gives people just enough background information on the real historical events the story is based on. I don't know if it should be Racetrack or Jack narrating, though.

- In Santa Fe (prologue), Crutchie mentions he's afraid the other boys will find out about his bad leg, even though they all literally know him as Crutchie, and it seems to be the first time Jack tells him about his dream of going to Santa Fe, even though they've clearly been best friends for a long time. It feels off, UNLESS they only just met, which is why I love @raggedy-albert 's theory so much. I would have the scene start off with them as kids, and have them grow up throughout the song.

- I want to add a scene in the beginning of Katherine at the New York Sun to establish her character and motivations, and possibly a little foreshadowing. Just an idea for a scene; she goes to the editor to let him read her story covering the trolley strike, but he reminds her of "her place" and that she's lucky enough to be in the position she's in and that she should go review a vaudeville or something. This would not only give her a similar motivation to the newsies, but also, if we're gonna bring the women's rights movement into the story let's do it right!

- Of course I'd also like to add more romantic interactions between Jack and Katherine, to make their relationship more believable. However, I don't think they should be a couple immediately after the finale, I was more thinking of an open ending to their relationship where Jack takes his first step to staying in New York by finally asking her out.

- Maybe add the actual scene where Jack and Davey visit Brooklyn instead of having them tell the other newsies what Spot said right before Seize the Day. Show don't tell, you know?

- A scene where Jack visits Crutchie at the refuge, similar to the one in the movie, but with the sadness Jack describes it with in the show. Again, show, don't tell. Show me how Jack visits the place of his nightmares again only to find his best friend in a worse state than ever and being unable to save him.

- Katherine punches Jack after the rally. Give it to me.

- Additional scene after Jack and Katherine's song after the rally where Jack formally apologizes to the newsies. Because in the show it just cuts from "omg he's a sellout *spits on the floor*" to "yay captain Jack is back" and it just doesn't sit right with me.

Songs

- There should be an entirely new Pulitzer song. The Bottom Line is good but by far the most skippable song on the cast recording, and The News Is Getting Better (the off broadway cut song) is a little Better but not quite the evil capitalist song we need.

- Swap Something to Believe In for When I See You Again. It's such a sweet song and I think it suits Jack and Katherine a lot better. It's much more "Neither of us know what tomorrow brings but when I'm with you I know we can change things for the better, even if it's scary but for now let's be here together and forget the world for a bit" instead of "I love you but I'm still gonna chase my cowboy dreams"

- Cut Letter From The Refuge, since my idea was to have this be a scene instead.

- Some lyric changes!

In Santa Fe: "Crutchie's callin' me, he's fine, just too damn slow"

In Once And For All: add this lyric from the movie, "Better to die than to crawl".

In Seize the Day: "Friends of the friendless seize the day, raise up the torch and light the way", not in the song but in the reprise where all the working children of the city gather before the finale.

Additional: "Still it seems like the dream of a boy, not a man", from The Truth About The Moon, a cut song from the movie that was supposed to be sung by Sarah. I don't know where I would put this lyric, but it could be said or sung by Jack as he realises what he's really looking for is not actually Santa Fe.

Characters:

- I want to add more girls to the background newsies, first of all.

- Sarah still won't do anything for the plot, but Davey and Les could mention that they have a sister. She's still canon to me.

- Speaking of Les, let's make him more likeable and also more helpful.

- Snyder has two scary dogs with him at all times.

- Just and idea, maybe Denton could still be a character if we replace Darcy with him, or maybe combine the two. Have him be Katherine's chaperone and friend formally, but also her reporter bestie. They could be a fun journalist duo!

Style

- The movie will still include the iconic choreography, which means it couldn't be fully 2D, but rather a mix between hand drawn and CGI.

-I would love for the backgrounds in the movie to be similar to impressionist and romantic art styles from the 19th century, to really sell how it's a story told from Jack's perspective. Especially his dream-like imaginations of Santa Fe would be brilliant in this style.

- I want to include a lot of weather foreshadowing. Rain right before Seize The Day and the sun breaking through when Davey starts singing. Mist surrounding Snyder and sudden darkness whenever he's near. A beautiful sunset when Jack and Katherine are alone on the rooftop. And of course, partly cloudy, clear by evening. It's such a cool way of visual storytelling when you have a plot that has no magic involved, like in most Disney movies.

- The real people characters' designs (Pulitzer, Hearst, Roosevelt) can be based on political cartoon caricature versions of themselves.

And lastly, quotes from the movie I liked that could be inspiring for the animated movie:

-"When I created the World..." "🙄" and "Where was I?" "You created the World, chief?"

- "No, we'll be just a bunch of angry kids with no money"

-"What, you couldn't stay away?" "Well I guess I can't be something I ain't." "A scab?" "No, smart."

Many of these ideas are still in development. Some might work, some may not, but I will be basing any future work I'll post on here on these ideas. I would love to see you guys  discuss and add on to these!

[mtchacffinz]

Omg if youre taking requestsss,

Could u plsss do something like reader is being neglected bcuz (charac) is too busy with work but then they realise and then spend time.. like angst to fluff ahh

Maybe with few characters like cyno, haitham, wanderer, xiao??

Thank you!!

💗💗💗

prompt! Been away for too long, won't you atleast miss me?

cw! gn! reader, tooth-rotting fluff (SFW), clinginess, maybe a crybaby reader in a certain part, words of affirmation, established relationship, lots of tender moments, mentions of Chasm Archon Quest

note! i love fluff. this is adorable so i shall deliver. plus, i think my acc needs some fluff too after all the smut I've written! (⁠´⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠.̫⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠`⁠)...

Here we are, overthinking again. In all seriousness, this can't be! Many suns and moons have passed, yet he still hasn't said a single word about his whereabouts! Did he somehow forget about contacting you? Maybe he fell down a hole through a ditch never to be heard again.. Perhaps he fell in-love with another lovely surpassing your wits and charm?

You were no stranger to solitude. It doesn't scratch an itch anywhere in your mind space that requires you to gnaw on your lip every waking moment you feel that churning feeling in your stomach. Definitely not— Absolutely not! You believe that some parts in life are needed alone to be addressed with just the right amount of tenacity and resistance. You would come back to your loved ones with triumphant smiles chanting "I'm back, I'm back! I did it!" like a warrior.

Your mind spiraled into incoherent theories about his unknown agendas— too indulged notice the recurring voice that seems to speak your name.

And when you finally turn to see behind was when he finally graces your presence.

CYNO.

There was tense aura in the air, the last breath leaving even more awkward than the last. It was obvious Cyno wants to say something, but his lips stay sealed— quietly observing you waiting to see how you will move instead.

It seems as if he thinks you're really upset. Just an inference, his intuition— a baseless assumption. I mean, who wouldn't be after leaving your partner hanging for 3 months straight venturing out into the desert?

He's a lovely partner. You think that, wholeheartedly. You really do. But seriously!? You understand there must've been at least some sort of viable explanation, but a part of you couldn't help but feel upset.

"I'm glad you're home safe." You finally speak, releasing a big sigh. It was as if a big weight lifts off your chest. Your smile says nothing more than joy and relief. Well, maybe a little too joyful.

Because you know full well if you speak your next words, your voice would break.

So you keep your lips pursed only for you to keep your own thoughts. Cyno is no average man. As a Mahamatra with fearsome agendas, his life is always on the line whenever he ventures out into the wild. Once, he returned to Avidya Forest with curse marks all over his body— crimson spurs trail over his gear, you were barely keeping it together!

Seconds pass, it was grew concerning that none of you were saying.. well, words. After all, you both have just reunited, and Cyno has probably gone through a rigorous mission that rendered his lips sealed, right? With curious eyes, you steal a glance from his figure. Your partner stood with remarkable posture, eyes evasive of yours. The young man seemed to be contemplating something.. expression a little solemn and glum.

With a gulp and a hesitant stare, he finally speaks his mind.

"I'm.. sorry. Forgive me, dear. There was a huge misconduct within the Akademiya and Matras I had to keep anonymous for—" he stops a little before continuing. Cyno's gaze is at the floor. "I had to keep anonymous for you.. for us. I couldn't send out letters. Please forgive me, (Y/n)."

Cyno takes another deep breath. "I understand if you'd like to lash out on my sudden return, so feel free to do so—" you quickly wave your hands in fluster.

"Ah, no no no! Really, Cyno, it's fi—ne...uhuh." You suddenly hiccuped.

With the first crack of your voice, your eyes immediately began to flow waterfalls. Salty tears pricked your (e/c) optics glossing over them with a glint. Cyno immediately rushes to your side whilst you immediately clung onto him like he's your life line.

Oh, Archons. He's your life. Just by his voice just now, you almost felt like your heart melted AND got crushed at the same time with just the weight of his words. Lash out? Of course you would! You're worried SICK. And you've missed him!

"You have no idea! I was holding onto these for 15 minutes earlier!" Your voice broke, fighting for your feelings. Cyno only wipes away your tears and nose with his sleeves in panic— repeating his apologies in a hushed voice over and over again.

AL HAITHAM.

The scent of scroll dust, his calloused hands, his warm breath on your head. For the past hours of his return, you only asked for one thing: to be held until you, yourself— let go of him. And judging by how how long Al Haitham has unknowingly neglected you, he's willing to make up for his wordless days.

But..

"Hey, honey.. dear..?" the Scribe softly calls out, gently tapping your shoulder. "Sweetheart? (Y/n)?" A little too indulged in his arms, you fail to give a response. This was when he sighed, and nuzzles deeper into your neck.

"(Y/n), it's been six hours. Surely you're feeling a little better now?"

"You've been gone for months."

"I know. But it's almost dinner, and we haven't eaten yet."

"We can starve here." You respond just as quickly. He sweatdrops, unable to tell if you were joking or dead serious. Look, his arm is cramping, his whole body is sweating, and he's dehydrated. The blanket that was wrapped around your body was on the floor, and you seem to be a little tired yourself. Taking matters into his own hands, you get surprised that his arms suddenly wrap tighter around you, lifting you up in his arms.

"You're ridiculous," Al Haitham puts you around his shoulder like you're a sack of rice, making his way through the kitchen. "I'm making dinner. You cling onto me all you want. We're eating."

After all, you never said anything about him moving while holding you, right?

All you could do was grumble and whine in his ears. The scribe doesn't seem to mind, as he gets a pan, his seasonings, and his food. Tapping your back occasionally, with every turn he make, your partner makes sure the doesn't accidentally burn or hit you with something while you're in his shoulders. With time passing, you're starting to get a little embarrassed yourself.. getting dragged all the way from the bedroom the the kitchen. Tugging on his clothes, you called out his name.

"Haitham, please let me down.."

Maybe it was the wind carrying your words away, but he doesn't seem to react. Your partner only focuses on whatever he's frying at the moment with his free arm on your figure. With lips pursed, you repeat again.

"Haitham."

"I heard you. I don't want to, you're staying there."

"What? No way! You're probably tired!"

"Oh? Don't back out now, I was going to feed you as well. I'm yours the whole week— I'm not leaving your sights very soon." Your partner says with a voice enough to leave no room for rebuttals and arguments. Seeing your face, slowly being taken over with embarrassment, ignites a small flame in him.

After a few mere moments of your silence, you grasp onto his clothing once again. This time, your voice was softer, a little more calmer.

"You're gonna be mine the whole week?"

WANDERER.

Ever since his return, the Wanderer has been gracing you with diverse stories from different parts of the land. Now, he isn't one to ramble his mouth nor entertain anybody with his experiences— so the indigo haired man could consider this "spoiling" you rotten.

After a long, exhilarating lectures of Vahumana Darshans, as well as interviews from other nations regarding his thoughts on different political matters— Wanderer has finally made enough time to spend with people he could actually tolerate.

On the other hand, he has been too kind, taking you to vast sceneries and feeding you all sorts of delicacies. It's as if he's trying to make up for something.. and you know what, you have no idea. But this? This is nice! Ignoring his witty and no-filter-opinion attitude, Wanderer has been significantly nicer to you last time you met.

Shopping, sight seeing, trying all sorts of new things. After all, what does he do with all the Mora he receives when he's but a puppet who doesn't even need to eat nor sleep?

He looks for no reciprocation nor gratitude, because he unknowingly believes seeing your smiling face because of him is enough to make his entire day. Of course, that doesn't stop you from profusely thanking him and actively trying to lessen all the things being given to you because do you really deserve it?

I'd you asked him, he'd look at you like you're crazy. Why wouldn't you deserve it? Why else wouldn't it be you? Do you prefer I do this for anyone else?

As night engulfs the sky, kissing it with a gentle good bye, the moonlight greets your resting frame. The Wanderer had found interestingly large lily pads that could hold up to 4 persons. Apparently, aranara's use it to navigate around lakes they couldn't get across.

The scenery is wonderful. Fireflies emerge from the shadows, and the lake sings a mellifluous tune every gush of waves it encounters. You were resting well, and his elysian self was beside you.

You were strange, that's for sure. Strange enough he'd like to keep taking you in like you're oxygen, as if you're some sort of life line to live from. Wanderer is not a man with too much words, so he could only gaze up to your figure.

A familliar noise of waddling makes their way towards you, an Aranara falling suit. It bee lines towards your figure, cozing up to your body.

Wanderer picks it up by its head gear, clicking his tongue.

"Hey. No cuddling. You lay beside me."

XIAO.

Xiao melts deeper into your arms as if he's lightweight, surprising you with the sudden return of his warmth.

His touches were featherlight, his firm hands on the small of your back. Fully aware of his fatigue eating away his skin, the Adeptus clutches your figure tightly.

"Sorry.." Xiao's voice was barely above a whisper. You frown upon his state, but your eyes were never pitiful. He knew of that. You say nothing but hold him in your arms in response. Mere moments pass with the wind blowing ever so softly in the sky.

You lull him with soft whispers, sweet nothings grazing his ear leaving out one another. Xiao's a little bashful— he's the one who's failed to keep up with your mundane agendas in everyday life leaving you alone, yet upon his return— you greet him with the best embrace this world has to offer.

After all the events at the Chasm, his encounter with Bosacius, and most of all, the lingering miasma that's been exceedingly abundant within the area, Xiao wasn't able to make time and shake off all the troubles he's facing. The Adeptus lie solemn with the softest look in his eyes gazing at your own. You know full well if he opens his mouth now, all that will come pouring out is his endless apologies that could be recited in millenias.

Instead, your hands gently caressed his cheeks— pecking those pursed lips who let out a soft sigh.

Xiao returns the gesture by holding you waist down, firmly keeping his hands on you. Chasing after your lips it was like something clicked in him the moment you even lent him a moment of your vulnerability. He was hungry, that's for sure. The Adeptus made it obvious with his knitted brows and those piercing gaze.

Amusement bubbled at the bottom of your stomach, letting out a small chuckle. Xiao's confused eyes met yours, questioning your sudden interest.

"You returned to me, that's lovely."

He responds to your claim in a grumble, now averting his eyes. Xiao's hand never leaves yours.

"I have to.." Those hands slowly travel to your cheeks, caressing them in pure affection. "I need to."

my smutty writings are usually the ones who get attention, so I'm wondering how this one will do? 🎶 Anyway, I'm also planning on writing for Honkai Impact's Kalpas 🤞 STAY TUNED

[haespoir]

me after you: ldh.

⨯ pairing: general!haechan x princess!reader

⨯ word count:  6.2k

⨯ genre: historical au, secret relationship

⨯ summary: being a royal means that you don't have the luxury of marrying for love. but when your younger sister is set to marry your childhood friend turned secret lover, you have to do something.

⨯ content: a lot of angst, mentions of blood, mentions of suicide, character death, open ending

⨯ playlist: fine, taeyeon / lucid dream, aespa / forgetting you, davichi / if it is you, jung seung hwan / how can i love the heartbreak you’re the only one i love, akmu

⨯ a/n: this comes after watching scarlet heart in one sitting. please be kind, this is the longest thing i've written in a while! feedback is always welcome ♡ . . .

You’re barely 10 years old when you first see him. You’re crouched behind a tree as you watch your brother Jaemin from a distance, an unfamiliar male by his side. You have no idea what they’re speaking about, but frankly, you don’t care much. You just want to know more about the male next to Jaemin. 

You've heard numerous stories of love at first sight. You’ve always believed that your first love would come and sweep you off your feet, that they would come in and whisk you away from the palace. But that’s not what he does. Instead, he fills your mind with fantasies, scenarios you only wish you could pursue with him. You imagine nights under the stars with him, being wrapped in his arms would be a dream come true. All this and you don’t even know his name. 

Suddenly, your muse for art is at its all-time high. You stray away from the usual flowers and bright colors. Dark colors make an appearance, and an unnamed male becomes the star of your paintings. It’s odd how someone you’ve never had a full conversation with occupies your mind. 

There’s this odd hunger that makes a home in your heart. Something that can never be calmed. At least not by you. Not by anyone but your mystery man. 

It’s not until a few weeks later that you get a name to match the face. Lee Donghyuck, the son of Grand General Lee. You know right away that he is destined to do nothing but good in his life. A man who can save countless countries in your eyes. 

You finally formally exchange names with him. It’s a wonder really, the way just a few words have you flying on cloud nine. “Lee Donghyuck,” he had said, voice sweeter than honey. It was sad how quickly you became smitten. 

But it seems you are not the only one because it doesn’t take long for the two of you to click. You’ve got a routine going, a secret shared amongst yourselves. Late nights turn into adventures, hand in hand the two of you explore everything the night skies have to offer. 

Looking into the eyes of Donghyuck you swear that he holds your whole universe there. He is limitless. The stars are not confined to just his eyes; they float in his voice when he whispers sweet words to you, and they dance along from his skin to yours when you touch. They surround him with this celestial warmth that is blinding to you. 

It doesn’t take you long to realize it, but you’ve fallen in love with Lee Donghyuck, desperately in love; it stays that way for years to come. 

And then the letters are sent out.

. . .

You are invited to the royal wedding...

Your attendance is requested at the wedding celebration of PRINCESS YI MIYOUNG and GENERAL LEE DONGHYUCK on the evening of Saturday, the 5th of January in the year of 1540 of King Jaehyun’s rule. 

The celebration will be held in the estate gifted to the prince consort and the princess after the formal wedding ceremony in the royal palace. Guests are required to bring forth a gift that will be presented to the bride and groom as well as the original invitation, which is to be presented on entrance. This invitation is extended to the immediate members of the recipient’s household.

His Majesty, King Jaehyun

Father of the bride.

. . .

Anger is a foreign emotion to you. But soon, you’ll find it’s your best friend. 

The date of the wedding weighs down on your soul. It crushes any hope that you have. Like a harsh wind, it blows out the flickering light of hope you have, and it leaves you covered in a darkness that you are unfamiliar with. Sorrow courses through your veins, but its presence is barely acknowledged. There’s something else there that takes control.

Anger.

It clouds your senses until it's all you see. A white flash of rage. A single swipe of your arm leaves your tea cups broken on the floor. Tears of anger slip down your face, but it makes things worse. You’re weak, so weak. And you’re an emotional mess. 

You wish you could be angry at your father for allowing it to happen. At Donghyuck for making empty promises, or even Miyoung, for just being Miyoung. But you can’t. It’s impossible. Your anger is directed at one person only– yourself. 

You hate yourself. It becomes a cycle of self-loathing. You’re unable to be angry at anyone but yourself. You are too careless with your heart. How could you have been so foolish? You know better than anyone else that there’s no room for love when it comes to the royal family. 

You rip the decorative accessories from your hair and throw them with all the strength you can muster. Even so, they don’t make it far. They land in front of an unfinished painting, the image haunting you. A painting meant for Donghyuck. How could you bring yourself to finish it now? 

A piece of glass catches your attention. How easy would it be to end your suffering? A simple cut would be enough, would it not? You could be free of all the politics, free of the pain. The glass feels heavy in your hand and suddenly, you are weighing out your life options.

But the more you think about it, the more your anger manifests. How could you allow someone to have so much control over your life? You’ve given your heart away so easily, and you aren't sure if you’ll ever get it back. 

Without realizing it, your grip on the shard of glass tightens and soon you’re drawing blood. But with your emotions running so wild, you don't even feel the pain. Scarlet tears stain your clothing, but you don't mind. Not now. 

You’re tired, tired of being walked all over. You’re tired of not having a say in your life. But– at the same time– you’ve lost all care. Bitterness seeps into your heart, and you feel like giving up.

However, you refuse to be weak this time around. You’ve been kicked into the dirt once again, but you won’t allow yourself to be buried. You will grow this time, and this time with more resilience than before. 

You watch as another drop of blood falls from your hand. This time, you’ll care only for yourself. This time, you will only care for your own happiness. You’ll face everyone with a fake smile. You’ll congratulate the married couple. And you won’t reveal your sorrow.

. . .

It feels as if a weight has been lifted off Donghyuck’s chest. There had been a few hiccups, but he had survived greeting his future wife. It’s not like he really wanted to, but he knew he had a role to fill. Miyoung wasn’t at fault; it wasn’t as if she had approached her father and begged to allow her to marry him. 

No, it should have been you to do that. 

But he also knew that you were not in the proper position to make those demands. He sighs softly; what a truly frustrating experience this was. The meetings with Miyoung and the King had been draining, but it was clear that they were to be married for political reasons only. After all, Donghyuck came from a family of generals who were completely loyal to the crown. 

As if the sky was reflecting his exhausted nature, the sun had begun to set. The light was slowly dying, a beautiful pink hue painted across the sky. You would have loved to see this sunset; it was one of your favorite activities, just chatting away under the disappearing sun. 

Had he been more aware, he would have heard you approach him. Standing in front of him was a princess, and he would argue that she was his favorite one. 

His surroundings seemed to be muted in comparison to you. There was nothing as vibrant as his lover, if he dared still call you that. Almost instantly, his heart clenches; it hammers within his chest like the war drums sounding his army’s march. It was almost as if his heart was echoing its intent for you. 

“Princess…” Donghyuck catches himself, addressing you with your proper title before an affectionate nickname can slip past his lips. “I hope you are well.” He bows with a foreign eagerness to place as much distance between the two of you as possible.

As he gazes at you, he begins to wonder if betraying the crown is worth it. If it meant he could hold you in his arms he believes he would forsake the entire country for you. That thought alone is terrifying, and it goes against everything his father has taught him. 

So with as much courage as he can, and it’s not a lot, he speaks again: “I bid you farewell.”

There’s an undeniable feeling that pools in your stomach as you look at him. It’s an ache that squeezes your heart so tightly it’s hard to breathe. There’s no one else that you would want to spend your life with, yet he is the same person who is forbidden to you. 

In your bandaged hand is a piece of fabric, one that holds the love and affection you have for the male in front of you. Intricate stars are laced through the dark fabric, representing the countless nights the two of you had spent together. So many sleepless nights spent on something for a man you could no longer love. A man you could no longer call your own. 

“Donghyuck,” you say, almost choking on the tears that you refuse to let fall. There's a feeling of happiness that blinds your senses when you see him, yet you can also feel your heart break at his cautious nature. How could the affection that once laced his words be completely gone? The words that left his mouth felt foreign, and they left you feeling bitter. 

“Please accept this,” you whisper, nearly begging. You barely manage to grip his sleeve; it seems he is in a rush to leave you. That idea only has your heart hurting even more. Your nights amongst the stars seem so distant now. He seems so distant now.

The way you said his name hurt. Even if he had scars covering his body from war, none would hurt as much as it did hearing you call his name out like that. He did not want to do this, it would be so easy to leave and run away, but when a princess begs, it is in your best interest to act in favor of the princess. 

Duty before self. Crown before duty. Country before the crown. These were words that he was taught since he was just a young boy. It was these same words that now haunt his every decision. Duty to the crown– the king had decreed his partner for life. There should be no space within his heart for you. Yet, you occupy all.

With trembling hands, his heart overriding the screams of protest in his head, he takes the star-laced fabric. Quickly, his eyes dart around, checking to see if the two of you were truly alone. Once that’s confirmed, he doesn’t hold back. Calloused hands cup the delicate face of a princess, your beauty clouded by the tears gathering in his eyes.

“What are you expecting?” He asks.

Maybe hours later, when he’s regained control of his emotions and he’s alone, he’d probably berate himself for giving into his weakness. However, right now, the crown be damned. It nearly broke his heart to see you hurting, especially when he loved you so dearly. All because you wanted him to accept a gift, which he’s sure is a parting gift. Even if he wants to deny it. He could be heartless in his duty to the crown, however, this was too much. “I’m already promised to Miyoung,” he says softly, his thumb caressing your cheek. “You know the king’s decision is final, and I cannot love you. We cannot be seen like this.”

“Leave me.” He whispers, watching as the tears that had pooled in your eyes begin to fall. “And forget me.”

“Forgive me,” he thinks to himself. 

It’s a concept that is foreign to you; the fact that his words hurt more than any physical wound- you’ve never felt anything like this. His words are like needles, and your heart is their resting place. 

Like always, Donghyuck is able to take your breath away. But this time he’s left you with no air, and no words as well. You don’t know what you had expected to become of the two of you– after all, Donghyuck was always someone who chose his country and the crown over anything. 

“I can't accept it,” you sob. And even if you tried, you don’t know how to. There's no one else in the palace who you love as much as you love Donghyuck. And it’s so difficult for you to come to terms with. 

“I can’t leave you, and I can’t forget you,” you recited as if it was a mantra that had been playing in your mind for days. And you had. Your thoughts had been consumed with Donghyuck since you had met him. 

Donghyuck, without much thought, presses his lips to yours. As if it's the most natural thing for him to do, as if he wishes to ease the pain of your breaking hurt. And it works, if only briefly. 

You relish the feeling of his lips against yours, a feeling you find yourself not knowing you missed. You never realized how hungry you were for Donghyuck until you got a taste. Like a drug, you’re not sure if you’re able to give him up. Your grip on his sleeve tightens, unable to let go of him. 

But no matter how selfish you wish to be, you can’t.

An internal conflict impossible for you to escape. You pull away from him quickly, tears spilling from your eyes freely now. How could you do this to Miyoung? How could the king do this to you?

Donghyuck had lost to his own weakness; he had lost to his own emotions. Everything always came back to you. Your lips were just as he remembered. You were an addiction to him as well, and he wondered if he’d ever be able to quit. 

He knew you. He knew the meaning of those tears; he could see the conflict brewing within your eyes.

“You're thinking about Miyoung, aren’t you?” He says softly, his hands moving to curl stray hair behind your ear. “You’re unable to betray your sister, as I am unable to betray the king.” 

He’s once again brushing your tears away with his fingers. “So much for being a general,” he bitterly thinks to himself. He wishes he had the courage to ask you to run away with him, but he has a family to think about. He has to think about his duty to the crown and to his family. Unknowingly, tears had also begun to fall from his eyes. “The moment the King announced our marriage it was over. What did you expect coming to see me here?”

His words are once again stabbing at your heart.

“Of course, I'm thinking about your wife,” you say, “My sister. Your wife. A person who gets to spend their nights in your arms.” It hurts even more as you speak, the words leaving your lips in soft breaths. It’s official, Lee Donghyuck has broken you.

The feeling of his fingers on your face brings back nostalgic memories. Instinctively, you lean into his touch. There is nothing that you wouldn’t give up for Donghyuck– you were just that in love with him. But you were just a princess– a princess willing to give up their title and life just for some general. And while you want to say that you’re unsure if Donghyuck would do the same, you know his loyalty to the crown is undying. And that is what tears your heart apart. 

“Do you know how difficult it is?” There are so many nights where you find that sleep doesn’t welcome you with open arms anymore. Instead, it turns its back to you, ignoring your pleas as you spend the night tossing and turning. 

It’s hard for you to speak; you’re choking on tears. You don't know what you expect from Donghyuck anymore. Your situation has become so complicated. It's hard for you to even comprehend. 

“I can't expect the same love I once received, I know I can't,” you say weakly, hating how difficult it was for you to speak. “But I do. Donghyuck– I crave it. I miss you so much.”

“To-be. Wife to-be. We’re not married yet.” He states bitterly, doing his best to draw the line distinctively. “She will not spend her nights with me. I have not touched her hand, her lips, or her.” 

It’s like daggers are embedding themselves into his heart with each word. He does his best to defend himself and calm your anxieties as he speaks. “I will sleep in my own study even if we are wed.”

“To be or is, what difference does it make? You are no longer mine Donghyuck– why can’t I grasp it?” you speak with anger towards yourself now, each word produces a new cloud of darkness in your heart, a feeling you’re becoming used to unfortunately. 

You’ve come to a full circle of blaming yourself. You’re the one to blame, had you not fallen for Donghyuck that fateful day, this wouldn’t be happening. Had you begged the king to allow you to wed Donghyuck instead of Miyoung, maybe you would have gotten your happy ending. 

But it’s too late for that now. Even the thought of Donghyuck spending a night with Miyoung pains you. Though you want nothing best for your siblings– if Donghyuck is Miyoung’s best, you might find yourself changing your mind.

“You are always the last thought that I have before I close my eyes. You were my very last thought when I thought I was on the verge of dying.” His words are earnest as he speaks. “You are the one that kept me strong on the way back home, back to you. I thought about your crying face and fought the reapers who had come to claim me.” 

Donghyuck’s hands drop to your waist as he pulls you into him, holding you close. “The love you’ve once received is still here.” He takes your hand and places it over his chest. “You will always be in my heart until the day I breathe my last breath.”

You grip the fabric that separates your hand and his heart. “You plague my every waking thought, Donghyuck. And even when I think I can be free of you– you appear again. Countless nights I prayed for your safety. I prayed for you to come back. To come back to me.” But that’s not the reality you get. Your father had rewarded the man you loved for winning the war by giving him your younger sister’s hand in marriage. How cruel.

“It is torture to give a man your heart and soul only for it to be rejected because the crown and country are placed higher than you,” you say, hitting his chest with your balled-up fist. “It is truly torture having to hide away from your family because you’re ashamed. Ashamed to face your sister for loving her soon-to-be husband. Ashamed at the fact that I couldn't even be vocal about how much I loved you– how much I do love you.”

You move to cup his cheeks, your thumbs caressing his face in ways that you can only hope to express how much affection you still hold for him. “What are we to do? What am I to do?”

Donghyuck swears this is like a dead game of go, several stones are already stuck. Defeat is imminent. Perhaps he is going soft and becoming vulnerable. He had heard this is what love does to a person. He had warned those who learned from him that placing too much focus on one objective would be their downfall. Yet here he is, doing everything in his power to keep you safe and by his side. 

Even if he meant betraying his loyalty. 

It would be simple; avoid the engagement and wedding as long as he could. Then, when your brother Jaemin takes the throne, he could annul the engagement. It would have to work; it was the only way. For this to work, the King must die.

He could do it in five years, maybe even four. An illness, or a coup. Something like that could work, right? The thought alone makes his heart race. Someone with an undying loyalty to the crown, thinking such treasonous thoughts.  

He looked at you, the love of his life. He could see the pain that flickered in your eyes. Were you worth committing high treason for? To go against the crown and country? To go against everything he had ever known?

The answer was blatantly yes. 

Would your love survive if he was the one to end the life of your father? Even if it was a perfect crime, would his own soul survive dealing with the guilt?

“I love you.” He whispered, pulling you into him once again. Donghyuck closed his eyes, willing away the demons forming in his mind. When someone you love more than life is in pain, it is a very simple decision to make on the spot. 

Donghyuck lies.

“It will all be fine,” he says. “I will find a way for us. Can you wait?”

One look into his eyes, and you know he’s planning something. You can hear the cogwheels turning in his brain. Like a true General, or to-be Grand General– you know he wastes no time in making plans. You know him too well, after all, he was once your Donghyuck. 

Being in his arms was where you belonged, where you would happily spend the rest of your days. But that was not so easy anymore. You could no longer hold the affection you once held for him. 

Logically, it’s not right. You know it’s not. It's your loyalty to your sister that reminds you of this every single day. Miyoung was a princess, and you would not allow your sister’s reputation to be tarnished. There were just some things that were above you. Anyone with a brain knows that this is not just some easy mistake to be fixed. 

But you have always followed your heart. 

So you allow yourself to fall into Donghyuck once more. “I love you as well,” you breathe out, your voice barely above a whisper. You can hear his steady heartbeat as you place your head on his chest; it calms your aching soul. Donghyuck is your sun, your moon, and all your stars. You know that he is someone you’re willing to fight for. 

“I will wait for you until the end of time, you know that.” The words slip past your lips effortlessly, a white lie in its purest form. You know that Donghyuck will always be in your heart, but you also know how the world works. It works in cruel and unfortunate ways. 

A princess as soft-spoken as you will never get what you want. You are a pawn to others. You know soon enough that you will be married off– just as your sister was. And when the time comes, will you still be able to put Donghyuck above all else? 

“But are you able to wait for me?”

He leans away from you to look at your face, his hands not leaving your waist. “I fought death for you,” he thinks to himself, feeling his heart swell at the image of you. 

“Is this doubt I hear?” He gazes at you with false anger, a playful smirk decorating his features. “You dare doubt the hero, the Grand General Lee Donghyuck?”

“I will wait for you until the end of time,” He says, leaning in and stealing several small kisses between each word. You allow yourself to be showered in his love, and you enjoy the feeling wholeheartedly. You carve the feeling of his lips against your skin into your mind. You won’t ever allow yourself to forget it; you won’t allow yourself to forget your love. Separating himself from you, Donghyuck takes a step backward, his hands gently holding both of yours.

“I’m not good with words,” he begins, looking down at your intertwined hands. “But since I’ve already broken my own vow to stay away from you, I might as well speak freely now. I had prepared for months to say this, hoping that I would get to say it when I received your hand from the King.”

He takes a breath, his gaze meeting yours. 

“Once, as a young boy, my father told me to never stare at royalty. We should keep our heads bowed. And I took that to heart until you. How could I not look at the most beautiful person in the palace? For the first time in my life, I took a gamble. I asked Jaemin to introduce me to you. I was just his sparring partner then, and I thought I would have been executed for that.” 

Donghyuck thinks back to that day, smiling fondly at the reactions he remembered receiving from Jaemin. Why was his sparring partner interested in his sister? It hadn’t made sense to Jaemin then, and a part of Donghyuck almost wishes he never asked. 

“Jaemin introduced us, and when you smiled at me… I was never able to look away. If not for you, I don’t think I would have ever known a love so deeply in my life. I fell in love with you when I was ten, just a young boy,” he smiles, giving your hands a gentle squeeze. 

“I’m twenty-three now, and I’ve been loving you more and more each and every day since I was ten. I regret not a second of it.”

You know that your end is coming soon. 

But with every word, Donghyuck makes it so much harder for you to give him up. His words cause your mind to run; it runs to a place where the two of you are free to love each other.

However, that place is not here.

You two are but a small chapter in the novel of this country, a small insignificant chapter. And you realize that now.

Yet your heart still races at his words. You know that you are Donghyuck’s weakness. So it leaves you no choice but to be the strong one in your situation. 

“Every second I've spent with you, there is not a single regret that plagues them. You have given me the love I never knew I needed.” You raise your intertwined hands, placing a gentle on the back of his hand.

“And for that, I thank you. The first time I laid my eyes on you, I knew you would be more than just a man to me. I've given you my whole heart, and I can only hope you keep it safe.” Your words pain you. You know this is your goodbye, the last time you will ever see Donghyuck with these feelings of love dancing in your heart. 

So you press one last soft kiss against his lips before you speak again: “I should head back to my quarters, as should you. It's quite late. Be safe.” 

With these last words, you let go of your first love and quickly turn for your room. The farther you get, the more tears fall. You wonder if it’s really better this way.

. . .

It is a good thing that Donghyuck had not spoken of his treasonous thoughts to you because they fall through so quickly. 

The silence in the air becomes a newfound friend to you. Something you once detested before now brings you endless comfort. The day is coming sooner than you hoped. You must congratulate your sister. You must congratulate the love of your life, Lee Donghyuck, for getting married to your dear sister.

It hurts. It hurts like hell. There are so many things you wish you would have done differently. You wish that you didn’t meet Lee Donghyuck– that you never fell in love with him. You shouldn’t have given everything away so easily. Because now, you’ve become a fool, a pawn in this game of chess. All of you have.

You’ll be okay. It's a mantra that repeats in your head like a broken record. He's not worth it. Nobody should have control over your life like Donghyuck does. It’s time for you to let go. 

And so you try.

The moon supplies no light in the dark garden. Yet, you are there. Your canvas is set– Donghyuck’s unfinished painting there. The dark sky is displayed on the once white canvas, small stars littered sparsely amongst the space. Two figures bask in the glow provided by the white paint. Figures that were once Donghyuck and you have been completely remade into Donghyuck and Miyoung.

It ignites anger in your faint heart once again. But the healing scar on the palm of your hand reminds you to never take the anger out on yourself, never again.

So you take your anger out on the painting.

With a heavy grip, you stab your paintbrush into the canvas. Before your eyes, the painting becomes two pieces. Something you wish their marriage would become.

But it hurts you to even think these ill thoughts. You care for your sister so much. And you care for Donghyuck even more. Yet there’s this new evil that rests in your heart. Suddenly, becoming bitter seems easier than letting go. And it definitely looks more attractive with every second that passes.

It takes a few days of peaceful meditation, but you find yourself in the garden again. Your muse this time, a budding flower. A representation of the new relationship that will bud between the two. A representation of the new take on life you have.

The color blue stains your fingers. A color for freedom and peace. This painting is made with Donghyuck in mind. The words “I forgive you," are woven throughout the flower. And you only hope that Donghyuck is able to understand it.

The nights following your breakdown instilled a resolve that you could have never found yourself following. A path laced thoroughly with bitterness and hatred. A path completely unfamiliar to you. But it’s a path you will now call your own. For you have learned that those with a faint heart can’t survive. They won’t survive. And now you will do whatever it takes to survive.

You spend the night before the wedding in the garden again. It is foolish for you to hope that Donghyuck will arrive. You know that it is wishful thinking. As you walk the path engraved in the ground made by the two of you, you know it is the last time.

. . .

The morning brings signs of your new beginning. A new you. This is your chance at a new life. You will create a new path for yourself, a path you will now travel alone. You no longer need Donghyuck. All you need is yourself.

Your resilience is stronger than ever before. But you know that your weakness rests in your heart; you would be foolish to lie to yourself and say it doesn’t. You have always been someone who loves wholeheartedly. From a young age, you gave everything you had to offer to those you love. You had given your heart to Lee Donghyuck, and now you had to give him to your sister. 

You arrive at the wedding on time. But the happiness in the air has no effect on your mood. You’re sad and heartbroken– it’s inevitable. But you don't let it show. 

Sitting through the ceremony hurts. It’s expected, but you begin your healing process quickly. You lower your expectations for Donghyuck. You no longer expect anything from him. Not even a glance.

And so, your eyes stray from him. They only stay on Miyoung. Your heart hurts for the younger princess. You know that she wants nothing more than to not be married to Donghyuck. You know that someone else resides in the heart of your sister. Yet you hope she is able to find happiness. You don't wish for darkness to form in her sister’s heart.

. . .

“Your Highness, your sister comes bearing gifts.”

You stand tall, a soft smile on your lips. “For her highness, an embroidered scroll.” The scroll your maid hands over tells the tale of sorrow you feel for your younger sister. An arrangement of flowers decorates the fabric, a single daisy being the star of the show. A flower to represent hope and innocence. You pray that Miyoung is able to keep her hope throughout this marriage and that her innocence never fades.

“And a painting for you, General Lee.” The bitterness that dances on your tongue makes it hard for you to keep your composure, but you do your best. The blue carnation decorating the canvas is not something that you have ever laid your eyes upon. Rather something you have created for Donghyuck himself. The last thing you will ever create for him.

“I wish you both a prosperous marriage.'' Those are your final words as you bow. Your eyes avoid Donghyuck's as you leave, disappearing from his sight once the door is closed. You only wish that all involved can find happiness. For this is the last time you will allow yourself to be heartbroken like this. 

. . .

King Jaehyun gathers everyone’s attention with a clear voice that rings out clearly in the chilly night air. He motions to the tables set around a fire that blazes in the middle to warm the guests against a biting winter breeze. 

Daughters sit with fathers, quietly gazing away from the king out of politeness. Sons sit with their mothers, quiet and attentive, ready to hang upon the King’s every word.  Here marks the start of a toast: from a father wishing the best to his daughter in her married life, from a king looking proudly on his son in law who’s already achieved so much in such a short amount of time. There is a moment when the mantle of the king is laid down and instead, the wishes of a father ring out into the night.

It's obvious that the princess is unhappy sitting next to her now husband. It's obvious that her husband looks as if he wants to be anywhere else, beaten down already as he is by the rumors and the whispers about his wife and their marriage bed. 

The King can see it all clearly, but to them, he wishes them lifelong happiness. He hopes that in the end, they’ll find it. And he expects that they will. 

No one notices the looks that are shared slyly behind his back between certain members of the court. Everyone is far too interested in the married couple at the head of their table, seated close to the King. They’re far too invested in the King’s words, and the gleam of pride in his eyes when he looks over at the married couple as he is ready to put the cup to his lips. It’s a signal for everyone else to do the same, and so they do.  

It's a shame, really, that no one notices. This all could have been avoided if they had.

The toast ends with a sip of alcohol in the King’s presence, all members of the party turning away from him to drink from their cups. It doesn’t start right away– people put down their cups, and there’s once again a dull chatter that bubbles through the crowd. After all, no one is expecting a red wedding.

It takes a few minutes to settle in the system. Most poisons do. First, it’s the princess who coughs up blood, staining her hanbok a dark shade of crimson. That’s when the panic begins, her coughing not stopping; she continues to cough and bleed, unable to breathe from the poison that’s boiling hot in her system.

It's not just the princess though.

Several members of the court are clutching at their robes, heaving and clawing in fevered desperation to cling to their lives. The poison is fast acting. And it leaves the princess, the Minister of Defense, and a General as cold as the night air.

In the blink of an eye, two sons become the head of their family, forced to take on the mantle of their dead fathers. In the blink of an eye, a princess is stolen from the world. And in the blink of an eye, three families are torn apart and heartbroken. For a long moment, there’s silence. The King is pale. 

And then all you can hear is the wailing of the groom.

[fictionalmenmakemecry]

Fuckin' with the Ecosystem- Chapter 3

Characters: Carmy Berzatto x Reader

Summary: With Carmy receiving Mikey's goodbye letter and you coming to understand the dire financial state of the restaurant, emotions are flying high. The nightmare doesn't let up until Carmy stumbles upon a fuck ton of money which leads him to ask you a very important question.

Warnings: Suicide mention, anxiety, cursing, alcohol.

A/n: This took way longer than I originally planned. This chapter is a long one and there's a lot of emotions. I wanted to make sure I did it right. I'm really enjoying writing this series and honestly I could write about Carmy all day, everyday! I've got big plans coming for this story so let me know if you want me to start a tag list. Please let me know what you think! Any interaction is super helpful for me :)

If you haven't read, here's: Chapter 1 and Chapter 2

Enjoy!

It's Tuesday, and you're very aware of the days slipping through your fingers. When booking your flights, you thought two weeks would be too long but thought it wouldn't be bad to have some left over time to check out Chicago. Now that you're here, you were worried you weren't going to have enough time to go through everything with Carmy before heading back.

You arrive at the restaurant at 9 am to see Carmy already here and the others starting to filter in. As per usual, Marcus has been in since 7am, exploring the world of dessert making.

You take a sip from your hot coffee before reaching over for the leatherbound book on the other end of the desk. You've only flipped through it lightly not seeing anything that would be any importance. But you decided to have a deeper look to see if you're missing anything.

You open it and start scanning it. Each page consisted of a list of numbers with no order or description. Some of them crossed out, other not. The further you studied it, the more confused you got.

Was this the way Mikey was keeping track of this debts? You thought to yourself resting your forehead on your hand as you continued to flick through the pages.

"Carmy" you called out seeing him walk past the office.

He paused and leaned into the doorway, his hair more chaotic than usual.

"Uhh.. you a'ight?" You checking in on him noticing his messy state.

"Y-yeah, good, Why?" He questioned.

You shook your head slightly, remembering the actual reason why you stopped him.

"I'm going through Mikey's notebooks and seeing if there's any notes he may written down, and I stumbled on KBL electric, ring any bells?" You asked moving the book closer to him.

He leans down and furrowed his brows, pausing for a moment. His arm resting on the back of the chair you're sitting on.

"Uhh.." He raised his eyebrows.

His eyes continued to stare at the notebook like his mind was searching for the connection. You noticed his curls sticking up awkwardly and smiled to yourself.

"No...no idea" He eventually said.

You paused for a moment before flicking a couple of pages and point your finger to the same words but with $300,000 scribbled underneath.

"This?" You asked again.

He shook his head and stood up. He had no clue what that was about. Mikey was known for not being clear, but this was a joke at this stage. He made a mental note on how important bookkeeping was going to be when this place got sorted. He was not going to go through this nightmare again.

"Mornin'" Richie yawned strolling by, sporting an original beef zipped hoodie.

"Cousin" Carmy called at him, making him take a few steps back.

You glance up at him and noticed the tiredness still clinging to his eyes.

"Do you have any idea what this is about?" Carmy gestured to the desk looking over at him.

Richie readjusted the strap on his shoulder of his bag and took a step forward. He leaned in, bringing his eyes to the page.

"KBL electric" He said to himself, thinking.

"Fuck if I know" He flickered his eyes and gave a shrug before continuing his way to his locker.

Carmy brought his hand to his forehead, pushing his hair back. He let out deep exhale, continuing to look at the writing in the book.

"Look, maybe I'll come across something else that might give us a hint." You said, tucking a stray hair behind your ear.

"I'll let you know if I see anything else." You brought your eyes back down to the book.

"Sounds good." Carmy stayed there for a beat before going back into the kitchen.

Time goes by, you have no idea how long it been. You hear a light cough and look up to see Marcus.

"Shit!" You gasped to yourself, completely startled.

"Fuck Marcus, a little warning? Maybe a knock?" You said putting your hand on your chest, feeling your racing heart.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." He smiled looking down at you.

You brought your eyes down to see him holding a freshly made donut covered in icing sugar. He placed the plate on the desk.

"This looks.. unreal" You grinned picking up the donut glancing up at him.

"Yeah, well... I thought if I was gonna to really start nailing this down, I needed to learn the classics first." Marcus licked his lips, waiting for me to take my first bite.

You take a bite, a big one, making sure you get some of the filling. The dough is fresh and pulls away so delicately. Once you get a couple of chews in, the filling hits your tongue. The sweetest jam awakens your tastebuds. You raise your eyebrows out of pure instinct of how unexpectedly delicious it is. You pull away the donut and look at it to see the rich red filling oozes out of the donut. You bring your finger up to it to catch it before any of it drips off.

"Mhhmm...Dahhmmn Marcus." You called out with your mouth half full with donut.

He instantly beams, shining that big bright smile at you.

"Good?" He asked, angling his head.

"Fuck yeah, way better than good!" You complimented.

You lean in for another bite and stop.

"I can have the rest of this, right?" You double-checked looking up at him.

He nodded, chuffed with himself that he could get someone to react to his baking that way. With Syd and Carmy being critical about his previous attempts, he lacked the little bit of confidence.

You take another bite and enjoy the perks of being around a training prodigy of a pastry chef.

"Mmhh you show..mhh Syd... yet?" You asked with a mouthful of donut.

"Not yet.. I don't think I'm there yet. " He shook his head, putting his hands on his beanie.

"Marcus! Nah, I'm changing that." You swallowed and put the half ate donut back on the plate.

"Syd! Sy-" You yelled out leaning out the doorway over his shoulder.

"No, no- needa still fix-" Marcus put up his hands, trying to block the doorway. It didn't take a second before the swinging door opened.

"Yea?" She popped her head out, wondering what the commotion was.

"You gotta try this!" You said excitedly, glancing up at Marcus.

The grin was gone off his face and replaced with a slightly nervous one. You gave a slight apologetic one back, not wanting him to hate you after this. You reached for the donut handing the plate to Syd at the door way.

As she took a bite, you looked over to Marcus, who had his lips pressed into a fine line.

You both watched her, waiting for her reaction. She took a bite and chewed. After a few seconds, her eyebrows shot up, and she continued to feel the donut's texture between her two fingers, as she was eating it.

"Marcus, this is the shit." She looked up finally giving a big smile before giving him a playful punch in the arm.

The tension from Marcus shoulders melted away. He brought his hands up to his head and took a deep breath, a smile appeared on his face.

Marcus was still new to all of this and wanted to learn as much as possible. He didn't want to get too carried away though. From time to time he felt overwhelmed with all the guidance he would get from Carmy and Syd. He wouldn't know how to use that knowledge to make his recipes better. They were already so established in the flavors they liked. He was only starting to understand the basics.

"I have one recommendation, though." Syd sucked her lip in, still tasting the donut on her lips.

"Yeah, of course." Marcus looked at her eagerly, waiting for her response.

"The filling might be a little too sweet." She explained, dipping her fingertip in the red ooze that had spilled onto the plate and bringing it up to her mouth.

"Okay, that's fair" He agreed.

"Do you still have some of it left?" She asked

Marcus nodded looking at her.

"Here, let me show you something." She turns around heading to the kitchen with Marcus following her.

"Marcus!" You called him making him glance back at you.

"I think it was perfect" You grinned mocking a chefs kiss

"Heard" He chuckled, heading to the kitchen.

Before you know it, it's already Wednesday. You can tell that fatigue is catching. You wake up at 10:30am, sleeping through two of your alarms. You groaned out of bed still feeling like you need another six hours before it even makes a dent in your exhaustion. You unlock your phone to a text from Carmy.

Need to talk bills, let me know when you're in.

You check the time of the message. 6:30am

You get to the restaurant at noon and to say things were hectic, was an understatement. You popped your head into the kitchen to hear Carmy yelling orders more frantically than normal. No one saying a word. You noticed the line of tickets stacked up and thought maybe you would wait a bit for it to calm down.

You head to the office to see Richie on the chair scrolling on his phone.

"Mornin' sweetheart" He glanced up.

"What happened?" You asked taking your coat off.

"Sydney fucked up. That's what happenin'. Cousin blew his fuckin' head, told Syd to get the fuck out. Keep away if I was you" He got up and stretched.

"Gotta go back out now and fuckin' deal with this train wreck, fuck me." He groaned rubbing his face.

"Good luck with that," you grinned sitting down on the warmed up chair.

"Gonna need it." He mumbled, making his way back to the front.

You heard the door open and Carmy voice bellowed with anger before the door closed again and it was muffled.

Carmy stabbed the last ticket on the stack of paper and looked up at the clock. It was the fastest four hours that went by. The relief that overcame him knowing that they got through that catastrophe.

"Housekeeping chefs" He announced wiping the sweat off his brow with the back of his hand.

"Yes Chef" They replied as the start to clean up the mess around them.

He made his way to the office to see you sitting there.

"Wha-"

"Don't ask" He stated in the doorway pushing back his hair with both hands.

"Okay" You said taken aback by the bluntness.

He watched you for a moment. You had various bills in front of you. All with the dooming "overdue" print on it.

It was moments like this that he wished he could just walk out. The feeling of drowning in anxiety was unbearable. He didn't have the energy to fight it. He thought about just shutting the place down. Just accept defeat. Try and move on, maybe walk away from cooking for a beat. He would leave Chicago and not tell anyone. Just get away from everything for a couple of months. If he was honest with himself, he didn't even know if that's what he needed. He's been neglecting his needs for so long he didn't know what he actually wanted from life anymore.

You looked up at him after minutes of silence. He wasn't present anymore. He was completely dissociated. You did say anything. You continued to look at the money flow, the account book you put together last week.

"Sorry, I was-" He rubbed his eyes, waking himself up from the negative thoughts.

"Just so fuckin' tired" He mumbled taking another couple of steps in.

You clicked your pen a couple of times thinking about how to phrase the news you had.

"So...What's up?" He asked bringing his full attention to you.

He felt your hesitation.

"That bad huh?" He breathed out.

You looked up to see his face was red and his eyes tired. His hair was wet with sweat.

"Y-Yeah, it is" you pressed your lips together.

You pointed the end of the pen to the electric bill.

"You only have enough money to cover electric bill or your produce order." You said straight out.

"Fffuck," He said quietly, looking down at the bill.

"When does the electric bill have to be paid?" He asked

"In 4 days"

Carmy head dropped, his eyes closed, and he took a deep breath. He wasn't even sure if this nightmare was real anymore. He didn't think anymore shit could get more fucked.

"Carmy"

He brought his eyes to you.

"Let me help," you started, knowing he wasn't going to like what was going to come out of your mouth.

"Let me cover this bill, just so-"

"No fuckin' way. No. " He raised his hand, stopping you in your tracks.

"Bu-"

"Stop, not happenin'." He snapped.

He glared into you, not wanting you to say another word about your ideas.

He couldn't even fathom the idea of you pumping your own money into the place. He's not even paying you. What type of owner would he be - or even a friend? It was bad enough that he had to sell his own sentimental belongings just to have meat to work with for the next day.

"I'll figure somethin' out," he stated.

He sat down at the bench between the lockers. He rested his arms on his thigh, bent over with his head in his hands. Today was.... he couldn't even think of a word. Every time he thinks this place can't go anywhere, it hits a different rock bottom. It's been in his possession for 3 weeks. It'll be closed in the next three if something doesn't change.

He felt a body sit beside him on the bench and gave a side eye. Richie sat next to him. Richie was the last person he needed to talk to right now. He couldn't deal with his bullshit.

Richie leaned over behind the locker and picked up a white envelope before sitting back on the bench. There was a beat of silence between them.

If there was ever a time where Richie felt would be the right moment to give Carmy this. It would be now. He looked over to see Carmy completely defeated and exhausted. Since arriving here, Carmy has put all his energy into this place, and it has fucked him every way possible.

Richie felt relief when Carmy arrived one morning on his doorstep. After the funeral, Richie had chaos released on him. Mikey's family asked when Carmy would come back to take over the restaurant. Sugar trying to contact both of them, to grasp any information on what was happening. Richie didn't know anything and now had to handle taking over the place with no idea what to do. To see Carmy in front of him, he had never been happier seeing him than that day.

Carmy looked over, his face change from fed up to anxious instantly, noticing what was in Richie's hand. Carmy recognized the writing and felt his heart pick up. The writing scrawled on the front with a black ink.

To Carmy,

From Mikey.

Carmy hesitantly took it off of him, not lifting his stare from it.

"What is this?" He asked concerned, looking at Richie.

Richie gestured his hands. He didn't know what to say.

"I don't know," he murmured.

Carmy eyes flickered between the envelope and Richie, not understanding what was happening.

"Richie, wh-what the fuck is this?" Carmy spoke up, grasping the envelope with a firmer grip.

"I don't know..." Richie shook his head gently.

"...And I didn't really want to give it to you 'cause.... it meant he was gone. Um, but, uh..." He broke off, feeling his stomach churn.

Carmy looked at him, feeling pain in his chest. He watched Richie, seeing the grief cascade over his face and realize he wasn't the only one going through this. Carmy placed his hand on Richie leg, Richie brought his arm to Carmy's back and for that moment, they both felt the devastation of Mikey presence finally gone. They sat there for a while before Richie got up, giving Carmy the space he needed.

It ran through Carmy's mind if he should even open the letter. Was it worth the wound that was going to be torn up with reading it. He didn't know if he was going to have the strength to continue today.

He needed to go elsewhere. No fucking way was he having the chance of anyone catching him in this sorry state. He made his way to a side alley next to the building. The cold air hitting his red hot skin making it feel like it was on fire. His heart was thumping. He got on his honkers and stared at it.

Maybe, he should wait til' he's home tonight?

Fuck it, he thought to himself.

He stared at it, in his shaky hands, before taking a deep inhale.

"Stupid" He whispered to himself not wanting to make a big deal out of this.

Even though this was going to be the last contact he was going to have with his brother. It was final. Mikey had the last say. After all the time of Carmy thinking Mikey left him nothing. Somehow, this felt worse because he knew for certain Mikey had this all planned. It made it more real than just hearing about it from people's mouths.

Carmy bit his lip, his feelings whelming up inside, finally it was hitting him.

He flipped it over and start ripping it open quickly.

There it was. Two small sentences in the center of the page.

I love you dude.

Let it rip

His eyes ran over the words again and again. Hearing Mikey voice in his head. Carmy choked back tears, bringing his hand up to his face, his eyes never leaving the words. The lump in his throat became unbearable. He felt his body start to tremble. The pain in his chest became stronger to the point that he held his breath to ease the strain.

After a moment, he took a breath in, feeling agony wash over him.

"Fuck you.. fuck you" He sniffled.

He knew it was going to hit him. It did. This scrap of paper made all the feelings he have been brewing since getting the phone call finally come up.

He took deep breaths and looked up. He focused on trying not to lose it completely. The wave of grief over swept him like he was drowning. The tightness in his chest constricting and releasing.

He flipped over the piece of paper and saw the family's spaghetti recipe wrote on the back. No instructions, just the ingredients. A small smile crept up on his face.

After a few minutes of steady breathing, he pulled himself together. He put the letter into the envelope and shoved it in his pocket.

He went back into the kitchen to see everyone prepping. He noticed Richie's eyes following him as he weaved through the station.

"You a'ight?" Richie whispered, coming up behind him.

Carmy nodded before reaching up for a 28oz can of tomato sauce.

"I'm.. gonna make spaghetti. I need to clear my head for a bit, " he mumbled, bringing it to the countertop.

"Uhh.. okay" Richie hesitated before giving a worried look to Tina.

She shrugged her shoulders making her way to the walk-in.

Carmy knew prep needed to get done but he just needed sometime to turn off his thoughts and get lost in cooking without thinking about it. He wanted his body to go into autopilot.

He added the garlic cloves to the pot and poured in an eye measurement of oil, clicking on the gas ring until a flame emitted on the surface. In another pan, he had half onions getting fried in butter. As they sizzled away, he leaned over to grab a can opener and opened one of the cans before dumping the contents with the onion.

He saw hints of green mixed with the tomatoes and shoved it around to see it was a lump of something. He grabbed it and wiped away the remaining sauce surrounding it.

"There's no fuckin' way" He said to himself tearing off the clear wrapping on the suspicious looking bundle of money. The hundred dollar number facing back at him, he couldn't believe his eyes.

"Cousin!" He urgently yelled not taking his eyes off the hundred dollar notes in his hand.

"Yo!"

"HELP" He shouted back coming to the realization of what might be happening.

You heard the racket from the office, hoping it wasn't another meltdown situation. As you entered the kitchen you saw everyone walk past your with cans and cans of tomatoes.

"Get you ass to work, Chica," Tina grinned.

"What?" You asked, completely confused about what was going on.

"Money." She beamed before continuing her way.

You went to where the cans where stored to see Richie stacking them on a metal tray.

"You're not gonna fuckin' believe this" He snickered.

That evening Carmy gave you the run down of what he thought Mikey did. He showed you the KBL on the lid of the unsuspicious can of tomato sauce. The hint that you were looking for was right into front of you the whole time. Everyone walked past those cans 50 times a day, not blinking an eye. Hidden in plain sight.

For the rest of the evening, everyone got plenty of practice on their can opening skills. Tomato sauce was everywhere. Everyone emptying the cans and pulling out bundles of money. Richie was tallying it up with his calculator. Syd came to join us, completely unaware of the jacket pot that landed on all of you during the day. Carmy spoke to her about what the money could do for them. For the restaurant, and with that, she was reeled it.

Everyone was at an all time high with the sudden change in events, Carmy decided that service wasn't happening for the rest of the day. He knew everyone needed one night of blowing off steam for, hopefully, the new chapter ahead that he had in his mind.

"How many should I get?" You asked dialing the number on the office phone.

"Uh... 10?" Carmy suggested, scratching back of his head.

You order several types of Chicago deep dish pizzas with excited muffled voices in the other room.

You hung up the phone after making the order and looked over at Carmy who was still standing there, dissociated or exhausted or maybe both.

"Well we finally got the hint" You smiled putting the phone back on the desk.

He snapped out of his trance.

"Oh yea, you could say that" He gave a little smile.

You could both hear the happy chatter over in the next room with Richie's booming voice echoing the most.

"My sister, Suga, is coming over."

"Oh that's great"

In the time you were working with Carmy, he would only really bring up Sugar. You knew Mikey existed but Sugar's name came up the most in conversation. You would also see him get phone calls from her time to time.

Richie went to collect the pizzas. You and Carmy joined everyone in the side room. Tina was chatting to Sydney, helping her lay out the long table. Marcus in the corner hooking up his phone with Richie small speaker. Everyone else was scattered around the room talking.

"Hey!" A blonde woman walked in with a big smile on her face.

Carmy instantly drew her into a hug. He leaned back glancing at me before looking back at her.

"This is Suga" He introduced me to her

She smiled over at me and opened her arms to me.

"Oh my god, it's great to finally meet you. Carmy has told me a lot about you over the years" Suga gave me a squeeze before pulling away.

"Really?" You said surprised, not even thinking he would bring you up to other people.

"Same here!" You grinned back.

"We gotta talk later about what the hell is going on" She side mouthed to Carmy before making her way to Tina who was already greeting her.

Richie finally came back with the pizzas and everyone started digging in. You found yourself stuck in a conversation with Richie and Fak

"I swear to fuckin' God it happened" Richie exclaimed telling the story on how Bill Murray is his voicemail.

"I've heard it and it's true" Fak reassuringly nodded at you.

You shook your head in disbelief, knowing it was going to rile up Richie.

"C'mon, you fuckin' believe me, ight?" Richie turned his head to you.

"Well, to be honest, I would have to hear it." You shrugged your shoulders, giving a quick cheeky smile to Fak.

"Fuck it, do you have your phone?"

Fak and I both shook our heads.

"Let me get my phone" Richie felt his pockets trying to place his.

"Hold up" He raised his hand before he walks off towards the kitchen on the mission to find his phone.

As your eyes followed Richie walk out, your sight landed on Carmy sitting at the table talking to Sugar about this evening. You notice his hand was in his hair as he listened to her.

You tell Fak that you're going to get something to drink, asking him if he wanted anything. He said he was good before getting distracted with a song that Marcus had just put on. He boogied his way to Marcus, reeling him in on a fake fishing line.

You made your way to grab a beer out of one of the ice buckets on the table.

"I see you." You hear a voice, and you look down to see Tina sitting at the table picking at her leftover crust.

"Huh?"

She smiled suspiciously before gesturing you to sit down across from her.

"So, how long have you've been..." She rolls her eye towards Carmy at the end of the table.

You glanced over to see him still occupied with Sugar.

"I have no i-"

"Naw, don't play dumb with me. I see the looks you give each other" She narrowed her eyes stilling grinning.

You finally caught on to what she was on about and immediately chuckled.

"Oh no, noth- we're just friends." You smiled, feeling caught off guard on what to say.

"Not in my eyes," she quipped back, taking a drink from her beer.

You looked over to Carmy, and caught him looking at you and immediately took his eyes away. You felt shy all of a sudden. You tried to think back to see if there were any times you and Carmy seemed to be closer to than friends, especially from people looking from the outside in. Nothing came to mind.

"I'm telling you Chica, I'm not judging. Just wonderin' how long has it been going on"

"Well we've never been... together that way" You felt embarrassed explaining to Tina.

She pulled back with her eyebrows raised

"You coulda fooled me" She remarked.

"Here! Here listen" Richie came over shoving his phone in your hand.

You brought the phone up to your ear and on the other end was the voice of Bill Murray.

"Damn," you said to yourself, seeing Richie grin become bigger.

"Fuckin' told you"

You were impressed that you could actually hear Bill Murray and realized that Richie wasn't lying. It's not that you didn't believe him, but maybe didn't take everything he said to heart.

You felt a tap on your shoulder and looked over to see Carmy behind you.

"Wanna talk to you in the office, for a min" He said with a serious tone.

You nodded handing the phone back to Richie. You got up and felt Tina eyes not leaving you until you walked out of the room.

For some reason, your stomach did a flip. What was this about. This is the most relaxed the place has been since you've arrived here. But you could tell Carmy was far from relaxed.

He sat in the chair in the office before leaning over to pull out a foldable chair for you to sit on. As you sat down, you noticed his leg jittering. His inked fingers were tapping on the desk like he was thinking about something.

"Uh.. So I was talkin' to Suga and explainin' everything that happened with the tomato cans and money." He started looking at you.

"She saw all the paper you helped filed and I told her about all the late nights you've been here. Non stop..." He further explained.

As he went on, tension was in the air. You had no idea what he was going on about but him talking more and more made you nervous.

"Carmy" You stated trying to get him to the point.

"Uh.. sorry- fuck" He pushed his hair back and looked down.

"You've been a massive fuckin' help to us. This is crazy to even bring up, so don't worry if you don't wanna..." He continued to ramble.

"I wanna offer you a position here," He finally said.

"What?" You stunned by what just came out of his mouth.

"I wanna offer you a job. I've talked to everyone, and they would love to have you here. It makes sense. You're already caught up on the financial situation, and I trust you."

"Move to Chicago?" You looked down, picking your fingers nervously.

"Uh, y-yeah. I know it's a big ask. I know I still have to pay you for the two weeks, too. But everyone would hate to see you go and-"

"Everyone?" You sputtered out, only realizing after, you said it out loud.

You looked up into his eyes. His blue stare gazing back to you.

"... I w-would, " He stuttered, breaking a small smile.

You felt your heart skip. The thought of moving to Chicago made your stomach flutter. The idea of coming to this place every week made you smile. But most importantly, seeing Carmy daily gave you a weird comfort.

"I have big plans for this place. I would only want people by my side that I know I can count on. One of them is you." He tapped his fingers on the desk lightly.

Your mind went to all the things you would have to start organizing. Your old apartment, moving furniture, driving back to Chicago. It was a lot, especially by yourself.

"I don't know how long-"

"Don't worry, there's no rush. Take the time you need to move here." He scrambled, feeling he was asking a lot from you.

There was a moment of silence between you both. He could tell you were overwhelmed.

"I wanna help you move..." He spoke up, seeing the unexpected look on your face.

".. if only you want," he added not wanting to be too forward.

"Are you sure?" You pressed your lips into fine line.

"Yea, yeah, with both of us, it would be faster. Plus, everyone here could start breaking this place down. " He motioned to his surroundings.

"Look, I'm not asking for an answer now. But, think about it ?" He leaned closer.

You nodded, looking back at him.

Carmy wanted you to say yes. He didn't want to say goodbye. Over the last few weeks, he's gotten used to seeing you. Him going to you moments when he felt everything was falling apart. The rising anxiety he felt imagining you flying off at the end of the week. Him not seeing you come in with coffee for him in the morning. Him making you a quick bite, knowing you would have forgotten to eat all day. In this short period of time, he fell into a routine with you.

The only thing giving him peace was that this place was going to be hectic when it came to renovation that he'll hopefully be too busy to notice you were gone.

"Marcus made us cake! Get some before it's all gone with Richie fat ass. " Tina smirked, leaning into the doorway.

"Go ahead, ill be out in a min" Carmy ushered you away with him staying behind.

"Lovebirds," She muttered, wagging her eyebrows mockingly.

You rolled your eyes, giving her light shove.

Everyone dug into the moist, delicious, double layered chocolate cake. They uttered compliments to Marcus as they took their first bites. It was the perfect thing to end the crazy day. Carmy finally joined you all and picked up a piece of cake that Sydney was guarding against Fak, who wanted seconds.

You both kept separate sides of the room but felt each other's stares. Whatever was growing between each other, you're both hoping it was a wave that would fade away. Just the novelty after not seeing each other for so long. Or maybe the fact that you might not see each other again.

You wanted to think about this straight. It would be easy to get caught up in the fantasy of starting a new life here. You had to think things through, talk to your parents. You knew they were going to question you when it came to your incentives to moving to Chicago. You were apprehensive bringing up Carmy, knowing them hearing a boy's name will ring alarm bells. Did you really want to move to Chicago? Do you really want to commit to a restaurant that doesn't even exist yet? Were you putting yourself through all this trouble just to please a close friend of yours?

These were all questions that were causing you anxiety. You pushed those thoughts out of your head wanting to enjoy one fun night with these group of people that you've become so close with.

"Shots! Shots! Shots!" Richie shouted raising the bottle of Tequila entering the room.

"Here's to a new fuckin' start Cousin!" Richie yelled wrapping his arm around Carmy shoulder pulling him in closer to him.

Carmy grinned, for once giving in to Richie hyper emotions and wrapped his arm around him. His eyes travelled across the room and landed on you. He gestured for you to come over. Richie was pouring shots for everyone. Even if you didn't want one, it didn't seem to be an option.

"I just wanna say.. that I know the last month has been hell" Carmy spoke up bringing the attention to him.

"But, this is the beginning of something bigger than all of us and I know we'll be able to pull it off..." He glanced to everyone holding his cup of tequila.

"So let's make this place something we're proud of...." He paused bringing his cup up.

"and let it rip" He announced

Everyone brought their cups together before downing the tequila.

Chapter 4

Masterlist to other fics

[2smolbeans]

Another ramble I wanna talk about while I finish and write some requests.. Btw this is unedited of course!

But where are my female yandere CEOs x female readers???

Like I remember writing a story where the main character is just some poor girl who just graduated college, trying to figure out her shit while trying to come to terms with why most of her relationships with her boyfriends never work out.. Where the reader/character is tired of feeling like a failure, so burnt out and near the brink of edge - only to stumble upon a bar where she meets a heartbroken and clearly in shambles woman.

Where the two have a heart to heart, talking to each other about their problems and insecurities. Eventually having a 'fuck it' moment as the two of them got black out drunk together.

That moment where they wake up, realising the events prior to last night, freaking out when she realises that she's naked underneath the sheets with the woman from last night. Scrambling to get out as they have no idea what to do.

Quickly writing a letter to the woman, trying to write an apology as the reader realises that she was gonna be late for work. Only to stupidly forget last minute that she didn't even give the poor girl her number and just dipped out!

The moment where the main character contemplates on her life, where she comes to terms with her sexuality realising; Oh shit, I like women..Guess that makes a lot of sense now.

How, within a year, she would meet the woman again. How the yandere would immediately recognize her, scolding her while also laughing at her pathetic note that didn't even give her their contact at all!

"I really thought you just left me alone on purpose you know..That was until you left me that note. You were so sweet..Yet so rude!"

"Do you know how long I've been looking for you?!"

After that moment, the two of them met again. How ever since then, they were always in contact with each other. Chatting over the phone and going out on small hangout dates. Every day, she made sure to always check up on her.

Eventually, the main character would mention to her how much she hated her retail job. How it paid so little and demanded so much from her. So she offered a job position as a secretary to them. Promising that them would 100% get the job no matter how badly they did at the interview.

Finally, when getting the job, she would realize that the woman was the CEO of the company she now worked at as the secretary the whole time.

That moment when she told her friend, the CEO of their company, that she were thankful for her. That thanks to her, she was able to stand on her two feet.

How she was finally willing to give love another shot when she realised what and who you were attracted to.

How she didn't catch the scowl on the CEO'S face when she sweetly spoke to her.

"I give you everything..And you won't let me give you this one thing? Why not go out with me? I can give you more than enough than what a typical 'girlfriend' could ever."

"I'll spoil you to no end. Throw money at you! And you won't have to do a thing besides look pretty for me while I take care of you.."

How, since that moment, she was subtle with her advances towards the main character. Her hands lingered at a certain spot whenever the two of them were alone. Her eyes always wandering off, drinking in their body as she adored how cute they looked in uniform.

Of course they made a few stupid mistakes here and there. Going to anyone but her!

It was funny how most of their current ex girlfriends were either drug addicts, cheaters, or previous abusers..Wow doesn't she have terrible taste in women?

Don't worry though, she'll always be there, waiting for them to make the right decision. She'll welcome them with open arms when they realise how much they need her, how good they'll have it when they give into her.

.....

But yeah!

I just wish there were more Female Yandere CEO stories 😭😭

I've seen enough of the yandere male CEOs smh..

And just to make a note, this concept was based on an old yandere CEO story I made with two ocs--

.

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_____________________________

[zombiewhor3]

WE HAVE SHIT TO DO

rick grimes x fem reader

WARNINGS: smut, penetrative sex, male/fem orgasms, weapon usage, mentions/usage of liquor, Negan, mentions of character deaths, mentions of upset/un-comfy reader, mentions of murder, season 7 era tbh,

a/n: just watched the episode of where Carl died and where Rick read his letter and i am a sobbing mess, i cried so hard throughout the entire episode an honestly in the comics it says he has a happy ending so lets pretend that Carl never died and had a happy ending and that he just ran away because it's breaking my heart!

: sorry for the long wait, i've been trying to catch up stuff on my wattpad and i have a few drafts that i have saved so i'll be trying to post those throughout the week!

-

the runs had been hard, and food rations had started to become smaller and smaller by the day, and with children and people of Alexandria they needed to find something.

But it was hard with Negan breathing down their backs, constantly making random appearances to claim 'his deliveries' that they were supposed to somehow fulfill for him and the Saviours.

she had one of her hands intertwined with his while his cock was hitting her g-spot making her mouth form a sudden 'O' shape while their lips connected in a frustrating lust for one another.

she let out a soft cry into his mouth feeling as she was so close from her big O that she was bucking her hips up for one of his thumbs to rub circles on her clit to send her over the edge for him.

without a hesitation he used his thumb to spin on her clit hearing as she let out a loud set of delicate moans from her mouth, and it made him pull his lips away from hers just so he could hear how beautiful she sounded aloud while he fucked her.

"s-so close!" she whimpered feeling as her walls clenched to try and bring his throbbing cock even deeper into her tight soaked walls, one of their hands were holding onto the others so they could keep their bond of love even closer during the moment.

"shh shh, come on let it go"

he cooed to her feeling as she let out a loud whimper while her juices spurt out onto his cock that was irresponsibly not covered by a condom, however it felt to good for him to stop and by the time he knew it he was shooting his load inside her

"fuck" he practically gasped feeling the warmth of their juices creating a slight warmth over his cock, she let out a whine as he hadn't pulled out of her yet because he wanted to take in the moment

a loud knock at the door seemed to disturb her as she jumped sending a slight accidental pleasure to his cock that was still buried full length in her cunt.

"you done fucking in there Rick? because we have shit to do!" Negan called out while tapping his bat against the door so harshly Rick thought that he was going to somehow break through it.

he pulled out of her watching as she covered over her mouth to hide a loud gasp that she knew was surely to spill from her mouth, "one minute Negan please" Rick asked only hearing the knocking start to get louder and louder surely he was trying to scare him.

Rick had wiped himself and slipped on his lower half of clothes before Negan flew open the door smiling once he saw y/n covering herself with the tangled bed sheets around her.

Rick ran a hand through his hair while he pulled out a fresh white t-shirt from his dresser slipping it on while he holstered his knife and looked at the man standing in front of him.

"Rosita come here for me please"

Negan called out watching as the women slipped down the long and quite narrow hall leading to the bedroom, she stood behind him as she kept her gaze down on the floor.

"you and Rick are going to go on a scavenge trip and i don't care how long you're out there for, either you find something cool or useful for me or option one you don't come back at all and in that case i'll bash someones head in or option two i smash all of these sorry fucks heads in" Negan smiled rubbing his hand over Lucille.

"now get the hell out" he ordered watching as Rick skimmed past him as he followed Rosita back down the long hall and once Negan heard the front door shut with a slam a smile appeared on his face.

this time it was wider and cockier almost like he thought the girl trying to cover her nude body from him was a joke, his smile was implicating that he thought this was all so damn funny.

"can i please get some privacy Negan?" she asked calmly as her nails started to practically burn holes into the fabric from the strength of her grip that she had on it.

Negan rested the bat against the inner wall of the bedroom next to the snow white painted door frame, he used a hand to rub over the stubble on his face, he sighed and flipped his back around.

his hands rested clasped in front of him as he fiddled his thumbs and whistled impatiently, she slipped into the bathroom to wipe her self clean before she slipped back into the bedroom to put on a fresh set of clothes.

"you can stop whistling now" she bit at him while she adjusted the collar of her flannel that covered the blank tank underneath, she flipped over the cuffs on the sleeves and folded her arms.

"wow god you two really go at it" Negan remarked at her watching as her posture awkwardly changed in front of him, because her shoulders seemed to scrunch up at the uncomfortable remark.

"is that stuff never seems to go right around here? is you two's fucking getting in the way of my deliveries that you and your people should be making?" a hand rested on her lower neck as he made his way up to her chin watching and feeling as she swallowed harshly.

"you seem un-comfy baby" he spoke rubbing the side of her cheek, "i think you should leave" she spoke calmly but also with a slight fire in her voice wishing that he would just see himself out.

Judith let out a loud cry just a few doors down making Negan smile once more as he picked up Lucille and made his way along the hall making sure to scrape the floors up with him.

"don't please" y/n spoke pushing past him so that she could stand in the door frame the loud sound of her crying ringing through her ears like loud feedback echoing off of a microphone.

"oh please i'm not gonna hurt her what am i a monster?" he bit back bitterly skimming past her, he placed his bat down next to the recliner in her room while he lifted her up from her crib.

he sat back in the recliner while rocking her gently with his knee while he stroked the back of her head, y/n didn't understand how a man so cruel and so monsterous could have a heart like this.

how he could act so sweet after threatening to bash everyone's brains in if Rick hadn't followed his orders as directed.

y/n was surely biting her fingernails raw looking at the two, she seemed to have a liking to him, but it wasn't like she knew how much of a monster he was, after all she was only past a year old she truly didn't know anything about the real world yet.

it was making her sick seeing him hold her, seeing as he was able to get her to stop crying, she looked down the hall to see Carl standing there cocking his head while he looked at the quite visible nervousness y/n was emitting into the air around them.

she shook her head at Carl to go back with Enid who had her head peaking out into the kitchen to watch what Carl was doing from the hall even though she couldn't get a good enough view.

y/n gestured for him to return back to the room he had just appeared from but instead he walked his way down the hall his hand slipping out the silver knife from his holster.

y/n tried to put her hand out to push into his chest but once she saw the fire in his eyes she let him go, she let him slip into the bedroom to see the man that killed her friends holding his little sister.

it was causing an ache in him, it was making him so god damn furious that he was clenching the blade by his side,

"would you look at that it's the serial killer in the making isn't this a nice surprise for me" Negan teased looking down at the knife clenched with a fist down by the boys side.

y/n grabbed his wrist to take the knife from him and shockingly he let her, he let it slip out from his hand without even an ounce of a fight,

she slipped it back into his holster while turning his body away and sending him back down the hallway to where Enid was now waiting for her boyfriend with an explanation.

"he's a feisty one for sure, quite bold if you ask me"

Negan spoke to y/n while sitting up from the chair and resting the now sleepy Judith back in her crib, she pulled a blanket over her and handed the stuffed rabbit that rested next to her in her crib before he grabbed his bat and showed himself out of her room.

y/n shut the door behind her once she checked the baby camera to make sure that it was still on and hadn't run out of battery power again, she followed Negan into the living room thankful that the two kids had left the house to venture somewhere else.

"you have any bourbon or whiskey? i could really use a drink"

Negan asked plopping down on the couch and resting his feet a top of the coffee table un-apologetically while his eyes flicked over to look at the obviously unamused y/n.

"not much i think in the last of our rations we have maybe half a bottle i'm not sure last time i checked your men took it all"

y/n spoke sharply while opening the cupboards until she found the bottle of whiskey, she grabbed a clean empty glass and poured him some before she set the glass and the bottle on the table.

he moved his feet out of her way before he took his first embrace of the liquor in his glass, "perfect" he sighed happily as he downed his first glass of the brown liquid, "what is this exactly?" Negan asked watching as she had taken a seat on the opposite end of the couch away from him before she answered his question.

"Deanna's old husband had a old liquor cabinet so i'm guessing something vintage or some shit we found it in Spencer's room but i suppose whiskey is simply whiskey"

y/n reflected back at him while crossing her legs, she stared out the window where the curtains had been pulled back to let in just the right amount of sunshine necessary to light up the room so it wouldn't be as gloomy and dark for them.

"not when it's cheap but times are tough so anything will do these days but i have to admit this don't taste cheap sweet heart"

Negan admitted as he poured himself another round, after he downed it he licked his lips clean and looked at her.

"you've had your drink can you leave me be now" y/n spoke bitterly towards him as she got up from the couch,

"not until your boy toy and that chick gets back with my shit, is that what you call him boy toy or fuck toy?" he blabbed back before giving up on the glass and instead just pressing the glass bottle of liquor against his lips taking a swig of the burning liquid down his throat feeling the aftermath of the sting start to kick in from the liquor.

"i call him Rick that's all" she answered his question sounding uninterested in the games he was trying to play with her

she was tired of looking at his face and that smug ass smile laced on it, tired of looking at the leather jacket he wore that once had her friends blood splattered on it and she was sure as hell tired of looking at the damn bat that now sat between his legs.

because it was the same bat he used to bash in her friends heads the same bat that she had taunted her and the rest of her group with, the same bat that had smeared blood on her face because she refused to look at it that night when he ordered her.

she gulped looking down at it, Negan chuckled as he could catch her glance at the piece of wood, "is Lucille bothering you because i can promise you she isn't quite thirsty right now but if they come back with nothing she's gonna be damn thirsty for more of your friends"

"please just leave me alone Negan, please that's all i ask of you, you can have that entire bottle of whiskey if it'll get you to stop running your mouth to me hell i'll find you all the damn bottles that you want if it'll keep you away from me"

she spoke trying to hide the fire she could feel her body emitting, she could feel the anger every time she looked at him and it was starting to grow so much she wasn't sure she would be able to hold back from simply killing him but she knew that would be a foolish idea.

that killing him would reek a havoc on the people of Alexandria.

she slipped into her and Rick's bedroom sinking into the bed as she could hear the sound of his men outside, and well she could see partially some of them through the shadow of their figures through the light cream colored curtains covering the window.

she picked up the comic book that rested on the night stand next to the bed, her and Carl had a thing for comic books often swapping whenever they finished one, she ran her fingers over the cover before she set it back down onto the wooden night stand with a sigh.

she prayed that Rick would be back soon, and she prayed that if he did come back he'd bring something Negan wanted or else she knew that surely there was gonna be a blood bath in Alexandria.

-

it had been a week since Rick came home, and that meant she had spent a week living with a cruel man, it was hard keeping Carl out of the house away from his sister but she knew it would prevent him from pulling anything stupid when his father was away.

they had come back with two large bottles of rum, a pallet that had been slightly filled with cans of sweet corn and an old jack knife that Negan had let Rick keep himself as a so labeled "trophy" for being such a good scavenger for him.

Once Negan was satisfied with the resources Rick had brought to him he gathered his men and left, but not without making sure to take a look at the women who was soaking into her bed from the ability of not being able to look him in the face anymore.

Rick could tell that she had lost her mind spending the past seven days with him, that she was truly going crazy with the taunting and the comments and well the fact she felt so guilty for just simply trying to protect Carl from doing something stupid.

Rick pulled her into him so he could rub her hands and plant kisses onto the back of her neck and her shoulder blades feeling her shudder and slightly tremble at the needed contact.

"is he gone? i can't stand to look at him anymore"

she admitted feeling as he intertwined one of his hands with hers rubbing the top of her hand with his thumb,

"he's gone for now at least i'll make sure to take you out for scavenging next week to see if we can bring anything back for us"

Rick peppered kisses on her back trying to settle her as he knew that the true real life fact was that Negan could come back any day or any time he pleased and he could tell that it was starting to severely upset her, he knew that she hated him for what he did and in all truth Rick couldn't stop thinking about killing the man himself.

He knew that no matter what he did or no matter if he killed or defeated Negan nothing would ever be the same he had already tried that and it cost him two of his men, two of his innocent men.

"i want to kill him Rick i have to kill him i need to" she spoke with a sudden change of tone starting to lace and bite back at her.

she squeezed his hand, "but i can't put anyone else in danger, because i can't lose anyone else and i already know he has Carl on his list and i won't do that to you"

he shushed her softly again to calm her down from the amped-up ramble that she had been starting to spew out again

"and we won't lose him if we follow the plan we have, just a few more days and we can follow out the plan and see how it goes for us but i just know we have to try and fight our way out of this"

Rick was almost all jittered up from the thought of taking Negan down, the thought of taking him down so no one else they loved or cared about could ever be hurt again from him.

"then we'll find a way to kill him together without getting us killed and we'll find a way to take down his men with him"

[kanonavi]

Something that will never cease to rot my brain is just how brilliantly mhy have developed Xiao's character over the past three years. I'm lucky enough to have started playing Genshin before he was added to the game (which does of course mean newer players have probably had a different experience of him, I'll get into that later) so I've been there for every single moment that Xiao appeared and it's always so amazing to me just how much effort has been put into him. (Long rant and Mild Spoilers for the Poetry Gala Event below lol)

Xiao in the Archon quest and in 1.3 (both in his character quest and 1.3 Lantern Rite) compared to Xiao in the most recent event is truly like night and day, and what's most impressive about that is that how he acts in the poetry event feels completely true to his character. Xiao has earned this gentleness over the past three years, as the traveler but also the other people he's met have urged him to open up and interact with others more often.

This really couldn't have been achieved without mhy taking advantage of every scrap of screen time Xiao has gotten. They absolutely have favorites and Xiao is for sure one of them. I'll use Moonchase as a comparison to the Poetry Gala. Back then we saw Xiao on screen for maybe 5 minutes at most, appearing because the traveler called him, tasting Xiangling's dish and giving her a compliment (at least for his standards for giving compliments) and then disappearing. But now we see him at the poetry event being invited to join by Venti and Hu Tao (and him not outright refusing!!), and then staying to socialize with Chongyun's group when everyone (not just the traveler) asks him to.

3.4 Lantern Rite and the Poetry Gala have felt like the biggest steps due to the fact that we see Xiao actively participating in activities of his own volition. Most of his appearances before 3.4 (and even after, counting Baizhu's quest) are dictated by about 2.5 factors. The first is his duty: protecting Liyue from evil, more specifically keeping its people safe from these evils. The second is being called by the traveler, an act which I would consider a symbol of their friendship later on, but in the beginning and probably still in a lingering capacity now I think can be attributed to a sense of debt towards them. They helped save Liyue in a time of crisis, after having no obligation to do so, and someone like Xiao who takes his duties in protecting Liyue so seriously would absolutely feel like he owes a complete outsider like the traveler a debt after they kinda did his job for him. So much of Xiao's character is about debts, after all. That even ties into the 2.5th reason, where he would probably feel some obligation to appear at Lantern Rite because Zhongli would be there, though it's unclear if Hu Tao mentioned he would be so it might not even count in that case.

Now we see Xiao participating in events on the invitation of Hu Tao and Venti who are seeking him out because they see him as a friend. We see him taking not only the traveler's feelings into account when asked to participate, but also Chongyun and Diona's. It's such a far cry from his "I don't associate with mortals" attitude that we saw back in 2021.

That barely even touches the shift we've seen in his demeanor either. Back in 2021, Xiao always spoke very curtly and in as few words as possible, always seeming displeased any time he had to hold a conversation, but now he's loosened up so much that the difference is honestly staggering. It even shows through in his birthday letters from 2021 vs. 2023 (And even here we see him going out of his way to socialize of his own volition, so proud of him!):

I've gone back and forth between EN and CN voiceovers in the past year, so some of Xiao's appearances I've only experienced in CN, but hearing him in the Poetry Gala event in EN I can only give his voice actress a thousand kudos for how amazing her performance is. Xiao's voice has softened with time, and it's such a small detail, but I honestly think that it's what hammers his growth home more than anything else for me. He's not only willing to have full conversations with people he's less familiar with now, but he also doesn't feel the need to speak as harshly to them either, and that's really amazing to hear play out in the game.

Xiao's voicelines are so fascinating to me for that very reason, because they act as a time capsule for how he was back in 2021, and that's just not what he sounds like anymore. Obviously, voice actors' performances of their characters will shift with time but Xiao is the only character for which I can say that his demeanor really has just changed with time. Of course, I think that in some cases this does actually make sense, namely if a newer player pulls Xiao and has only gotten to experience the Archon Quest and maybe his Character Quest. In that case, all of the time that has passed simply doesn't exist. But at the same time I can only imagine how funny it would be for a long-time player who simply never pulled Xiao for one reason or another to pull him and listen to his lines and hear his older, edgier self lol

Though on that note I do also need to point out the biggest downside of all of this, and what is perhaps my greatest sadness about Xiao's character development, which is that new Genshin players simply won't have the chance to experience it. There are many characters who get the short end of the stick with the nature of Genshin's serialized storytelling and limited-time events (Albedo, Kazuha, and a plethora of 4 stars who don't get featured much, just to name a few), but I think Xiao's actually saddens me the most, because I believe the time that has passed is the greatest strength when it comes to this development. People will get to see his arc from the Archon Quest to Perilous Trail (and thank god they preserved Perilous Trail as an Interlude), but even that is still a shadow of Xiao's actual progression over the years.

These days, newer Genshin players may have only seen Xiao in the Liyue Archon Quest before playing the Poetry Gala event (unless Perilous Trail is a prereq, which I don't know off the top of my head), and I can't even imagine how jarring it would be to see how he acts there and then immediately see him in this event. The way that time works in this case would probably just make it seem like mhy doesn't know what they're doing with Xiao when in reality three years of development have been compressed into a matter of weeks. Knowing that, I'm grateful to have been able to experience his story in its truest form, but it also cannot go unacknowledged that some aspects of Genshin's story have a shorter shelf life than others. It's a major problem with the game, from some perspectives, but at the same time it's just a consequence of how it's being developed.

Anyway, I just needed to gush after seeing Xiao absolutely steal the show in part 2 of the quest with his quiet participation and little smile (crying). He's so good and I love him so much, and it's so nice to see what they've done with him after he finally got some semblance of closure after Perilous Trail <3

[tired-teacher-blog]

hi lovely, if you don’t have too much on your plate i’ve had an idea for a scenario

shouto or aizawa with a so who has adhd. so trying to cook for him but he walks in the kitchen to see ingredients everywhere and so doing something else (maybe even a stove/oven left on- i have a bad habit of doing that) loving your work :)

Oh baby this one hit close to home 😄 I hope you enjoy my input *kisses*

Title : Chaotic attempt

Characters : Shouto/ Gender neutral reader

Genre : Fluff/ angst/ Drabble

Trigger Warning : Some adhd symptoms mentioned, including (carelessness, poor organisational skills, inability to focus, forgetfulness)

Masterlist|Second Masterlist

It was a rare day off, one you decided to spend doing something special for your boyfriend, perhaps preparing a delicious treat for the both of you to enjoy in the evening while watching a movie.

You were confused as to where to start and how to get it done, and it's not that you had never cooked in your life before, it's just that everytime you do –and no matter how simple the recipe is– you always end up making a huge mess in the kitchen, to the point of injuring yourself at times.

But you had enough confidence for once to try and get it right.

_ "Okay, I'll just stay focused and follow the recipe." you were so hyped, watching and rewatching the chef's video just to make sure you wouldn't forget any ingredients he mentioned.

Your once clean kitchen turned messier each time you touched something new, but that didn't seem to bother you one bit, you were solely focused on following the instructions to the letter, excited to prepare your boyfriend's tasty treat and watch his reaction as you finally present it to him..

_ "Y/n, are you home babe?" Shouto kicked off his shoes and dragged his feet searching for you around the apartment.

_ "I'm right here sweetie!" you called out for him and he followed your voice to the kitchen, only to stop dead in his tracks with surprise.

It was as if a tornado had hit the entire place; egg shells on the floor, butter smearing the counter, melted chocolate everywhere, and then there you were, a big smile adorning your face while you took pictures of the beautiful looking cake placed on the kitchen table.

_ "Y/n, what happened here?" he mumbled, looking around the mess you'd made, and for a moment failing to notice the little surprise you worked so hard to make for him.

_ "Shouto! You're here on time! Look what I've made!" your excitement prevented you from noticing his uncomfortable expressions, but his lack of response did it.

Your smile disappeared and a confused look took its place, "Shouto, what's wrong?" you moved slowly towards him, searching for an answer that didn't come, he wasn't even looking at you at that point, he was studying the mess around you two instead.

You turned your head to where he was focused and finally understood, "oh, I'm really sorry for all this mess, I'll clean up quickly so just.. please, just.. give me a few minutes.." you choked out as you immediately started wiping the counter and throwing away the litter.

You were embarrassed, once again you managed to act immaturely in front of him and the realization brought tears to your eyes.

_ "Y/n, honey look at me," he approached you from behind, placing a hesitant hand on your shoulder, and giving you time to respond.

_ "Yes just a second, let me take care of this first," you feigned nonchalance as you struggled to fight your tears back, and it was at that moment the beautifully decorated handmade cake caught his attention, and it finally dawned on him.. all this mess he was shocked to see was due to the effort you put into that treat, but instead of gratitude he showed concern for your kitchen's state.

_ "Y/n, please turn around and talk to me." he moved you gently so you were facing him, though your head hung low in shame.

He was quiet at first, searching his brain for the right words to say, and wiping your burning tears away.

_ "I'm sorry Shouto, I didn't mean to cause this much chaos, I wanted to do something nice for you but ended up ruining it," you beat him to it, speaking your mind before he could get a word out, and he hated himself for it.

He hated that he was too slow to realize the whole situation, he hated that he made you misunderstand his reaction, and he mostly hated that he made you apologize.

He pulled you closer and squeezed you between his arms, kissing the top of your head as he found his voice at last, "you did nothing wrong sweetheart so please don't apologize because I'm the one who should," he took a deep breath before continuing, "I'm sorry for making you feel bad after what you did for me, I was never mad at you I was actually worried, I thought something bad had happened to you while I was away and I simply freaked out."

His hold tightened around you, and his words washed away your anxieties.

You smiled against his chest and said nothing, but he could feel your body relaxing in his arms and that was all he needed to finally heave a sigh of relief, "can you please forgive my foolishness?" he sounded desperate and you wanted to reassure him.

_ "There is nothing to forgive sweetie," you pushed yourself up and cradled his clenched jaw, smoothing the tight muscles under your fingertips, "that's okay, it was only a misunderstanding."

_ "I know but, I made you feel bad." he placed his hands on yours, bringing them to his lips and kissing each and every delicate finger.

You got so lost watching him; eyes gently closed and warm breath fanning over your skin as his kisses moved from one pad to the other, whispering his regrets repeatedly.

_ "I love you Shouto," you had to stop his endless apologies because it was painful watching him on the brink of tears, "I'm really not mad, I am sad though seeing you this way so please show me your smile so we could finally eat this stupid cake."

Your little joke did it, causing a hearty chuckle to leave his throat as his expressions finally softened.

_ "I love you more y/n," he leaned in, placing a gentle peck on your lips and another on your cheek, "let's see what you've made."

[tulipsforvin]

— — WILLIAM J. MORIARTY FINDS OUT HIS WIFE HAD AN ABORTION — — — — — — —

Request: Helloo, can you do a story about William finding out his pregnant wife had an abortion? It doesn't have to be that theme, but I would prefer something sad, and you can do this with other characters if you want

Tags: Angst, Abortion, William James Moriarty, Yuukoku No Moriarty, Moriarty The Patriot, Established Relationship.

Format: Story Writing.

A/N: TO EVERYBODY THAT'S SENT ME THEIR REQUESTS, I PROMISE YOU I'M WORKING THROUGH EACH AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM !! PLEASE DON'T THINK I'M NOT, BECAUSE I AM 😭😭

The first thing he does after waking up is place the softest of kisses on his beloved's brow, making sure to be as gentle as possible so to not rouse his wife from her sleep.

Eventually, after a few minutes of basking in the comfort that the sheets & his wife snuggled up to him provides, he climbs off the bed and heads downstairs to check the mail.

Smiling and with a calmness in his heart, he opens the mailbox, fishing out all off the mails that were sent to their residence and takes them inside of the house, arms laden with everything that he gathered.

One inside, he closes the door behind himself — sauntering towards the table before he places all of the mail down. He sits down himself, humming a soft tune to himself as he sorts through it.

It had been a routine for him ever since the two of you got married, he'd wake up early in the morning, sort through the mail and wait for his wife to take up as he sipped on a cup of tea. Then the two would go through the various letters and mails together. A peaceful, relaxing routine. He opened up another envelope. What could possibly go wrong?

Except that it did.

William looks absolutely crestfallen, eyebrows furrowed and an expression on his face that shows a mixture of both disbelief and sadness. He forgets to finish his abandoned cup of tea. He forgets to hum his favourite song that he was humming joyously to himself only moments ago. He forgets to breath.

He doesn't hear his wife coming, wooden stairs creaking as she makes her way down to the drawing room where lies an utterly silent William, frozen in place. Frozen in time.

“William?” (Name) places a hand on his shoulder.

He flinches harshly, standing up from the couch. “...Why?” His voice is raspy when he turns to look at her. Hoarse. Weak. Quivering.

His wife immediately stiffens, aware of what he's mentioning. “You don't understand, William.” she takes a step forward.

“Why didn't—“ His voice cracks. “Why didn't you tell me? We were about to have a child? We were about to bring something to this world?” He takes one backwards.

“William, please. I couldn't bring it up. It was hard.”

“No. No, you could.” He laughs bitterly, finding her words absurd. A cruel sound, she thinks. “You had a choice and yet you didn't tell me. Why? Why didn't you?”

“I had a choice, and I made a decision! You don't understand!"

"Then make me understand, goddamn it!" William takes a deep breath, trying to steady himself. “You knew I've always wanted to be a father. All our lives, you knew..”

“And what?! Bring a life into this world who won't ever see their father? Don't you think it's selfish enough?! Didn't you think it was selfish enough when you first talked to me? When you got on your knees? Cracked jokes with me and made love to me, even though you knew you'd leave me behind once the time came?!”

“When did you...?” He whispers, referring to his suicidal mission that his wife was now suddenly talking about.

William's hands ball up into fists besides him, heart aching painfully inside his chest as he watches his wife pour out her heart infront of him. (Name) watches his expression tighten, eyes shut tight as he inhales and exhales deeply. Continuosly. Repeatedly. Over and over again.

A heavy silence hung in the air as the weight of their words settled between them. The gravity of the situation was palpable — the emotional turmoil etched on their faces.

Finally, she spoke, her voice softer; filled with a mix of sorrow and resolve. "William, I can't bear the thought of you sacrificing your life, leaving our child without a father. It's not fair to them. To either of us. I had to make a choice, a painful choice."

Tears welled up in William's eyes as he reached out to grasp her trembling hands. "But we could have found another way. I could have stayed, fought alongside you. I would have given anything to be a father, to see our child grow up. You would have loved them, regardless of my presence or absence in your lives.”

She nodded, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I know, William. I know... But sometimes love is not about holding on; sometimes it's about having strength to let go."

"I don't want to bring a child to this world, only for them to spend father's day without a present for them to gift to, or evenings where they have to wait at school after everybody's gone home, hand in hand with the janitor because their mother was busy and they don't have a father to pick them up in her stead. I don't want them to face that." She finishes.

He bites down hard on his tongue, head lowering in shame. “I'm sorry. I should have known your decisions weren't easy. The final decision was yours.”

(Name) huffs, running a hand through her hair. She inhales sharply, regaining her composure. “I'm sorry, too. I should have tried talking with you about it as well. I realize I was too hasty with my decisions.”

“All for the right reasons, my darling.” He whispers.

Another brief pause.

“I...” William starts, pulling in his wife closer. “Will you allow me to make it up to you? Allow me to start over with you, without you having to fear that I could leave any time, that any moment could be my last. Will you trust me?”

“I..I will.” (Name) mumbles, face nuzzled into his chest.

As they held each other, their tears mingling, they knew that their love for each other and the weight of their choices would forever shape their lives.

In that moment, they found solace in their shared pain and the understanding that their sacrifice, though heart-wrenching, was born out of love and a desire to protect what they held most dear.

[iodrawsandtalks]

Criticism of Penacony and why i think HYV shouldve quit while they were ahead.

//vent towards the end, references to suicide while those references are quest spoilers Recently I've been doing world quests and grinding out the new region and been repeatedly finding myself walking straight into microagressions and slights to the point where it's been jarring enough for me to put my game down. As a black dude playing HYV games i know well enough not to act like the stupid billion dollar game company cares about appealing to minorities but its 2024 man.

First off, the obvious issue. Penacony has been repeatedly mentioned by the devs themselves to be based off of the Jazz Age from the U.S. a few decades ago.

The Jazz age was a period of time in American History between the 1920's and 1930s where the popularity of Jazz just boomed from being like an indie type of music to one of worldwide popularity. Obviously, Black people in that era are wholly responsible for Jazz itself.

So yeah, Penacony takes its origins from a key black history movement. Penacony, the region that released at the start of February. Black History Month. Star Rail is arguably one of the most popular games right now in terms of outreach because it's free, its new, and its colorful/futurisric etc.... And yet....

Just like with the rest of the HYV games that take real world inspirations, they fucked over black people and their stories.

In Honkai Impact 3rd, basically we had this one black girl who's like sandpaper brown and complains about how much her DARK SKIN ruins her look and how she bleaches her skin using various products to keep it lighter. She is ashamed of her DARK SKINNED mother who's a military woman. Her father is absent. Her mother is also a grown adult who is a B-rank soldier(main character white teenagers are S-rank for reference). Carole Peppers is her name if you want to go further down that rabbit hole.

In Genshin Impact, besides the fact that people with different skin tones are CLEARLY sectioned into certain regions(no seriously there's no real reason why i shouldnt see a black person in any of the existing regions.), and besides the unnecessary amount of whitewashing and besides the perpetuation of the idea of melanin NOT being natural, every single brown/black character in the game has awful playstyles and/or poor matching with weapons/artifacts, inaccessibilty, and they NEVER make it to the top of any meta tierlists. I'm not outright saying they're bad they're just harder and almost never get specialized weapons.

The only previously relevant example in Star Rail was Arlan, a lightning/destruction character. He chews through his own HP and unlike characters like blade/clara, does not have resistance or healing to handle that. Serval, the other lightning 4 star, out-dps's him veryyyyyyy easily. So yeah, the ashy black person character basically dies if you use him for too long and is never relevant TO ANY quests except where he needs to be the sidekick.

sometimes these games have dragons, animals that can understand and process english, or magic.... but then not black people...

Penacony has no black main characters. No black stories of relevance. Yesterday found an NPC whose name was detracted from chocolate and the player had the option to let commit suicide.

yeah ill get to that 💀. This large mass of at least 4 supernatural looking characters and yet no black person. NOT EVEN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS FROM penacony itself are black.

so yesterday I was grinding clockwork quests and had to help out some apathetic shopkeeper named Cocona. Her story was almost a bit sad but midway into going through her background i realized her name is one letter off of cocoa. now imagine being on a creative team coming up with a name for a melanated NPC and somebody decides on fucking CHOCOLATE with an extra letter. before anybody implies that one was something i shoehorned, think about how itd go if i had a bunch of POC characters and one white girl named crackerella.

Cocona and her once again sad backstory reach a hard tipping point as the player follows her to the edge of a building and can either grab her to stop her from jumping or simply let her end her life jumping off the building.

Yes we've seen how this game lets you make choices and watch the consequences of your actions, but there have been established rule-breaking predecents. Take Ruan Mei's quest where you have no choice but to eat the cake she offers you and once again lose the ability to make a choice on saying anything related to her. or any time the trailblazer gets pushed into a fight and cannot de-escalate. ....with this in mind consider why was saving the cocoa girl from killing herself NOT a forced option.

normally id be the kind of silly person looking for lore bits and stuff and making theories, (like how clockie is from the path of elation :v)but as a black dude this whole region is disgusting. THEY ARE GENTRIFIYING JAZZ AND COVERING UP ITS BLACK ORIGINS idk who said HYV cared about their audiences they fucking dont.

wouldve posted this on reddit but whoop dee do i am NOT getting doxxed today.

[ocarinas-princess]

Why Ocarina of Time's Princess Zelda is is underrated, and why she is one of the most tragic incarnations of Princess Zelda: an analysis post

Ocarina of Time's Princess Zelda is my favorite Zelda character, and on of my favorite characters ever. Sadly, she is not talked about that much. I've seen some people call her boring and I've actually seen quite a few people hate her due to her actions at the end of the game. I wanted to make a post analyzing her character and talking about some of the things about her that people overlook. I will be using the manga some here, which is not canon, but I encourage you to keep an open mind. I'm cross-posting this from twitter with a few changes and things I forgot to mention. The original thread can be found here.

We first see Zelda in the courtyard. We learn that she has prophetic dreams, and that her most recent ones have been about Ganondorf and the fall of Hyrule. So at the age of around 10 she’s already worrying about saving her kingdom from disaster. It’s far too much for a 10 year old to be worrying about. And you can see that she’s very concerned and that it’s all she’s been thinking about.

I’m going to assume that everyone knows the general story of Ocarina of Time, so I don’t need to explain every little detail. Long story short, Ganon attacks Hyrule castle and Impa takes Zelda and flees with her. It’s unclear exactly what he did but I think it’s likely she saw people die that day. Some guards maybe, or possibly even her dad. It’s heavily implied that her father is dead in the game. And in the manga Ganondorf straight up says that he killed him.

I’m going to take a second to talk about the people in Zelda’s life. It’s very clear how she trusts Link with all her heart and I don’t think I need to explain that one. But I do want to talk about Impa. Impa has known Zelda since she was a baby, and is Zelda’s attendant.

These two care about each other very much. Impa believes Zelda when she tells her about her dream. Zelda trusted Impa enough to confide in her. Also, Sheik later begs Link to save Impa, and Impa’s parting words are asking him to protect Zelda.

Apart from her Impa, I doubt Zelda had many other real connections in her life. Possibly a few guards? I doubt she was every able to go outside of the castle. In the manga we see that a part of her longs to be a normal girl.

A bit about Zelda’s personality. She’s adventurous and playful! When Link takes her letter to the Death Mountain guard, he makes a comment that Zelda has come up with games before!

We also see this side of her in the OOT manga. It’s clear she doesn’t like staying inside and being regal.

She’s also very brave. In the OOT manga she stands up for Link when he gets into trouble, and she even stands up to Ganondorf, right to his face!

Now, while the OOT manga technically is not canon, here’s something that is canon. With the Mask of Truth, Link can read gossip stones across Hyrule. One of these gossip stones says that Zelda is a tomboy!

A few things I forgot to mention. It seems like Zelda’s father was not very involved with her life. I mean, he didn’t take her seriously enough to even hear her out about the dreams she was having. And I presume her mother is dead. So she really had very few people in her life.

Another quick thing about her is that she cares deeply about the people of Hyrule and her kingdom. Despite the fact that she wishes she was a normal girl, she still takes her duty as princess and eventually queen very seriously.

Let’s talk about the 7 years that went by while Link was asleep. All 7 of those years, Zelda had to live through. She was only 10 when those years began. She watched her kingdom fall and she watched Ganon come into power. She likely saw people die. What little childhood she already had was taken from her. But she didn’t just give up and wait for Link to save her. She is NOT a damsel in distress. She started to train. She wanted to become stronger. She wanted to be able to fend for herself. She wanted to be able to assist Link when the time came.

Enter Sheik. Often called Zelda’s “persona” or “disguise” but I’d argue that this is actually her embracing her true self. This is the first time in her life where she’s not under anyone’s control. She does all of this while hiding from Ganondorf, who seeks her. When the time comes for her to meet Link again, she assists him in his journey by guiding him and teaching him songs. I think it’s unfortunate that we didn’t get to see her fight but here’s an official art that shows them battling together so I think it happened offscreen!

Another thing that she did is she saved Princess Ruto from under the ice of Zora’s Domain!

Link battles Ganondorf and Zelda does assist! She uses her power to hold him down while Link delivers the final blow and she then initiated the Sage’s Seal!

And now I have to talk about her regret. She blames everything that happened on herself and herself alone. She blames herself for dragging Link into it. She even feels that she needs to make it up to him. It’s a horrible burden to bear. She’s only 17.

She sends Link back to his original time. And she often gets backlash for doing this. But she does it for two reasons. The first is that she believes this is her atoning for bringing Link into the fight. She wants him to regain his childhood. She won’t ever get hers back.

And the second reason is that Link must seal the door of time, so that his timeline will have a future (for a while). Ganon was able to be kept at bay.

With Link no longer a part of her world, and Impa no longer a part of her world, she truly has no one. She will go on to become Queen and Hyrule will be rebuilt. But I don’t think just because Hyrule is rebuilt that that’s a happy ending for her. Like I said, she has no one. No one that she can confide in about her trauma. No one that would understand the burden that she bears. She will eventually have to marry someone and have a child to continue the royal bloodline. And while some things could possibly bring her joy, like a child, I don’t think she’d be truly happy for the rest of her life. She’ll never see Link or Impa again.

Thanks for reading!

[fictionadventurer]

Austen asks! 4-24

I don't know if you intended this to be inclusive, but I'll answer them all anyway (skipping over the ones that have already been answered).

6. Favorite movie adaptation

The 1995 Sense and Sensibility. To me, it strikes a good balance between being a good adaptation and making the story accessible to audiences that haven't read the book, and it's one of the few that seems to understand Austen's humor and romance.

7. Favorite Austen couple

Anne and Wentworth. Their personalities balance each other perfectly.

8. Least favorite couple

Colonel Brandon and Marianne are so frustrating to me, mostly because of how Austen writes them. They fall victim to the Marian Halcombe Problem--if you spend the whole book showing a man and woman having tons of conversations and developing a good dynamic as equals, I'm not going to believe that he's in love with her sister.

9. Most hated foe of a heroine

Isabella Thorpe is a terrible person, and I can't think of any redeeming qualities or circumstances.

11. Least favorite book

I gained a better appreciation for Sense and Sensibility on my last reread, but it's still definitely Austen's weakest novel.

12. Least favorite Austen heroine

Marianne Dashwood is a realistic teenager, but not someone that I can admire or sympathize with too much.

14. Favorite love confession from the books

Can any Austen fan say anything other than The Letter in Persuasion?

16. Least favorite film adaptation

I hold a grudge against the 2005 Pride and Prejudice, because it did nothing to make me understand the appeal of Austen, and it's a horrible adaptation, but it has such a huge influence on fandom's interpretation of the novel.

Also, every once in a while, I remember the scene in the 2008 Sense and Sensibility where Brandon gives Willoughby a "stay away from my daughter" speech, and I shudder over how creepy it is.

17. Moment that made you sad/cry while reading

Basically any scene of Fanny Price's childhood.

18. Moment that made you smile/happy while reading

Henry Tilney's introduction scene in Northanger Abbey is just pure distilled joy.

19. Moment that made you laugh while reading

I'll never forget the time I laughed out loud in class while reading one of Miss Bates' speeches in Emma.

20. Moment that made you mad while reading

I don't know if I've ever been so mad for a heroine as I was during the scene where the neglected poor, orphaned, outsider Fanny watches everyone fawn over poor, orphaned outsider Mary Crawford.

22. Favorite Austen female casting decision

I love Tamsin Greig as Miss Bates in the 2009 Emma, because I did not imagine her talkativeness as stemming from anxiety, but it was fun to see her played that way and to experience a different interpretation that still felt valid.

I'm also going to take this opportunity to mention that I love Mrs. Jennings and Sir John Middleton in 1995's Sense and Sensibility. I just grin through every scene they're in, and I especially respect them after learning that they were the only cast members that Emma Thompson didn't have to write random extra dialogue for in crowd scenes, because they just naturally knew how to talk like Regency characters.

23. Favorite Austen male casting decision

I love Johnny Lee Miller as Mr. Knightley in 2009 Emma. I don't know if he matches the character in the novel, but I love how he portrayed the dynamic with Emma.

Also, Hugh Laurie as Mr. Palmer in 1995's Sense and Sensibility is perfection. And Greg Wise as Willoughby is beautiful and charming enough to do his job of fooling you into thinking he could be the romantic lead before he proves to be an utter cad.

24. Favorite supporting character

Mrs. Jennings. Hands-down. So vulgar, nosey, and over-the-top, but beneath it all, so kind and friendly and helpful. I love her so much.

[liyawritesss]

ɪ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴡᴀɪᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ᴜ

Characters: Hope Mikaelson x Black!Stem!Reader

From: Legacies

Type: Drabble

Synopsis: Hope’s determined on not letting anyone else into her fragmented world. Yet, when things get overwhelming, she finds that you are the only person to soothe her.

Warnings: mild cursing, spoiler warning for legacies season 3-4, mentions of character death

A/N: my friend has been slowly but surely getting me ba k knto the TVD universe, and upon doing so I've rediscovered my crush on my favorite lil redhead Hope 🥺🥺 be nice to this i havent watched legacies in a HOT minute. Song Inspiration: “WAIT FOR U” by Future, ft. Drake & Tems, “Unthinkable” by Alicia Keys, “Flaws N’ All” by Sonta

Tags: @mbakuetshurisprincess @shuriszn @verachii @writingintheshadowsforever @cafehyunji @lulu-network @babyboiboyega @badass-dora-milaje @niyahwrites

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Three fifty-seven is what reads in bold red letters on the digital clock that sits on Hope’s night stand. They burn against the back of her eyelids, yet do not promote any kind of sleep. They only prove as a reminder as to why she had not been graced with slumber.

There’s a picture that rests next to the clock. A candid photo taken by MG on one of their days into town to enjoy themselves as regular teenagers. Her eyes traced over every feature of herself in the picture; mouth wide with laughter and eyes shaped into crescents at the joke Caleb had made that she, for the life of her, could never remember. A boy sat next to her, head full of black curls and skin milky and freckled with perfectly imperfect blemishes that once made her heart swoon. 

She never gathered the courage to take the picture out of its frame. She never had the courage to let go of one of the few good memories she had of that time. When things were simpler - as simple as they could get in the life she led. When she could look at that boy and tell herself that she made the right choice in trusting him with her heart.

Imagine, having to kill the one person you wanted so desperately to love.

No, the redhead’s own voice echoed through her mind, which was both empty and becoming increasingly overwhelmed at the same time, I am not doing this tonight.

Hope slips from underneath her covers, slipping from underneath the weighted blankets that had failed to help in her mission for sleep, slipping from the warmth they provided. Her long sleeved shirt did nothing to shield her from the cool air that contrasted the warmth of her blankets, the still breeze of the room nipping at her bare legs. Only shorts adorned her bottom half, cut off mid-thigh and leaving her pale skin rippled with goosebumps in the process.

Perhaps she thought the cold would provide some sort of shock to her brain that would make her realize how tired her body was, how it begged to be allowed rest, but it proved all for naught. Now Hope was exhausted and cold, with no way of remedying the situation.

Well, there was one remedy.

Hope glanced at her phone that rested on the nightstand. Her eyes lingered on the device for a long time, her mind battling for reason. It’s four in the morning, she reasons, there’s no way she’s gonna pick up.

Yet, she remembers your bouts of insomnia and knows that you find yourself waking much earlier than you intend to for class anyway, and there’s a small part of her that reasons that it wouldn’t hurt to try.

So Hope hesitantly grabs her phone from the mahogany surface of her nightstand, unlocks the device with her fingerprint, and finds herself scrolling a bit too eagerly to find your contact information.

What would the people around her think if they saw her now, she wondered, frantically calling up the girl who she made it very clear with that there would be no possibility of a relationship in any near future? Would they think her mad? Would they call her delusional? Both were traits that certainly ran in her family, and she would not be surprised if a part of her had still remained that way after only recently returning back to her original self.

She finds your contact information, but her thumb all but hovers over the call icon that rests under your name. Perhaps she shouldn’t be a bother to you, Hope thinks. She’ll think I’m crazy, she thinks, and yet, perhaps it is that particular thought that drives her to press the icon anyway. Because if Hope was crazy for wanting to even hear your voice to calm her aching soul, then perhaps such a title that was placed upon the likes of her father wasn’t so bad.

One ring; the pit inside of her stomach grows in intensity. It seems like the wait between rings is even more agonizing than the actual wait for an answer.

Two rings; Hope is beginning to regret listening to the part of her that has a soft spot for you. Why did she have to remember your sleep schedule? Why did she have to get her hopes up?

Three rings: you won’t answer. You’re asleep, and if she hasn’t already interrupted your slumber, she would surely have to come up with some creative excuse to use tomorrow when the two of you met in class-

A monotone click sounds. Silence, for a few seconds, though to her they seem like hours.

Then, your voice sounds. 

“What the fuck, Hope,” you groan through the cellular device, and Hope’s aforementioned worry of awakening you is confirmed by the rustling of sheets and a following groan. She knows she should feel guilty, but the satisfying tingle that runs across her skin from hearing your voice takes away from any remorse she surely would have felt, “it’s…four in the fucking morning-”

“-I know,” Hope interjects, “I just…couldn’t sleep.”

There’s a pause; it’s intense, and Hope finds herself wondering what you’re thinking. Could you be silently cursing her out on the other end? She surely wouldn’t blame you if you were.

There’s more rustling that follows the pause, which causes worry to grow in her stomach, before she hears your voice again, “you want me to come down?”

“......could you?” She bites her lip, tugging at the skin on the pink area, and she doesn’t understand why she should be fearing rejection from you, as if you’d ever give her the pleasure of feeling such an agonizing sting to the heart.

“...yeah,” you finally answer, “yeah, just gimme a minute.”

There’s a blessing that comes with you staying a floor above Hope. It’s fairly easy to slip down the different dorm floors, she’s figured out, In the time between hanging up and waiting for you to come, Hope finds herself stuck in a state of overwhelming thoughts. They’re loud and varying in range, but all of them revolve around you.

Hope remembers when she rejected your advances a month prior. The expression on your face had been emblazoned into her mind, forever carved into memory how she had crushed your world. And yet, you’d been nothing but kind to the tribrid, still considering Hope and her feelings in every engagement the two of you had. You acted as if the rejection never took place; she wondered if this was your own coping mechanism for dealing with heartbreak. It certainly would be more healthier than any method Hope called herself using.

How could you still be so kind to her? How could you still be so willing to love her when she had expressed no possibility of reciprocation? Could you tell that Hope never meant as such? Did you still have hope in her?

How could one have hope in a desire openly denied? The more she thought about it, the more she wondered if such a question should be asked to you, or to herself.

A knock sounded on her door, bringing Hope from her state of entrancement. “Door’s open,” She mutters out loud enough to be heard, which prompts the soft click that sounds with the twist of the knob to her door. The creaking reveals you, slipping into her room, and almost immediately, your presence makes everything better.

There’s very little exchange of words from here on. It’s as if this is a practiced routine, one that had been engaged in for a while with the way you expertly slip into Hope’s bed, under Hope’s covers, and pull her into you. You place her head above your heart so that the melodic thumping of the muscle gives her mind something else to focus on. The way you operate with care in regards to her being has her heart aching, though she can’t decide if its from yearning for you or antipathy of the concept of loving someone.

She could contemplate on it another time, though, because the combination of your heartbeat and the low humming you’ve taken to doing has her body finally succumbing to her inclination of sleep. The last thing she remembers is you muttering words she’d never heard before - perhaps words to a poem or lyrics to a song you fancied.

I will wait for you, rings in her mind long after she’s succumbed to your gentle caress of her hair, and even in sleep, Hope wonders if that is a challenge you’re truly up to take.

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