#IDK SORRY. DELETE LATER MAYBE i keep rambling on about it

[neurotypical-sonic]

green hills population: 1981

my home town population: 1673 (according to 2021 census)

I'm gonna be uhhh. egotistical isnt the word I'm looking for. whatever I like to think that I am a little bit of an authority on what small rural towns *can* be like, and as much as I like the idea of sonic getting to be involved in the community and openly existing or even going to school. I just cant picture it. king would be suffocating

[dailymothanon]

THE ALASKAN DREAM CONSISTS OF HUGE FUCKING FISH ‼️ I don’t know if y’all in the Lower 48 also learn about fish in your schools, especially salmon (and yes in Alaska we do indeed say salmon like ‘samen’, salmon without the L cuz we’re always winning no we’re not), I had to learn atleast like two weeks worth of school of purely salmon and watching salmon documentaries and dissecting salmon cuz of how important they are to Alaska 😭 (I didn’t mind tho cuz I love learning about Alaska) (also, a really long rant below, I don’t expect y’all to read all or any of it— it’s not a sad or deep rant, just like a long letter of appreciation for you guys)

Btw I’m sorry I couldn’t do more this post :( my heads been a little preoccupied with some struggles so I couldn’t focus on drawing much else, also I just simply hit a creative stump is all as well, I have considered talking a little deep about me (or technically, my life a little bit) for y’all, I dunno why, maybe it’s simply the fact most people I’ve talked to within this fandom n such has simply just been so nice and relaxing (although, I’m aware I don’t interact that much or consistently) sometimes I really like deep conversation as well, or just spouting random facts and ideas I have, it’s nice, especially if there’s people that atleast somewhat get my rambles— but I suppose this is a thank you, to be honest, because I love that you guys like my work and sometimes even use them or build off of them, even if I think the idea I had was a bad idea (Punk Ny for example was an idea I was worried about not being a good one), most of the time I don’t edit them out because I think maybe one person out there might like it and want me to keep it there, like my girlfriend who encourages my ideas or helps me shape them, I never had this type of interaction and it makes me so giddy at times, so I really appreciate it :)

Also, I know I’m not obligated to draw so much with each post (maybe I’ll talk about how long my process is and what I do for most posts) but sometimes I feel like I owe you guys it because a lot of you are very respectful, and a lot of states do not have the amount of content that one who is passionate about would want, I mean, that’s why I joined this place and immediately started drawing Alaska like a mad man since there wasn’t much content about him (especially specifically about him), im passionate about my state, I yearn to know as much as I can and see how others think of it and us, I wanna do the same for other states but I worry that I don’t feel the same amount of passion for them as I do Alaska and I know that’s fine, but I still feel bad about it because I think I can do better for you guys, Indiana and Arizona and North Dakota for example I feel I can do more, even if you guys are content with what I came up with, but it’s very relieving to hear the expectations were not unreachable like I expected you guys to be about them, and I’m glad you guys aren’t critical about the fact I’m very inconsistent with Alaskas design because I’m not quite sure what I want for him and how much his design feels like him so I’m still trying always

anyways, have a good day or night yall <3 much of you guys are simply so so nice. Err, idk how I feel about this rant cuz I don’t wanna waste y’all’s times because I know you’re here for the states, so I might delete it depending on how I feel later about it

[skitkattl]

HHI SORRY I. HARDLY POST HERE HELP

anyways i wanna talk abt my idea for what i'm drawing rn here instead of on twt since hardly anyone sees my posts here i just wanna ramble abt this rq HEELP OK RAMBLE IS BELOW THE READ MORE

(might delete this post later but idk)

i always think abt how in strangled red like. steven and red have CANONICALLY interacted, they had some sort of significance in each other's lives and played a role. seemingly a sibling/guardian/general role model type relationship-- but i hardly see anyone talk abt their dynamic like. ever!! (unless u count rednecks group dynamic posts but there's hardly anything of red and steven alone and before the trading incident)

so around, like. maybe november?? idk

i got an idea but i never started drawing it out until now for some reason

after mike's death steven just, like, disappeared, right? he never got to fully see red's trainer journey, if at all- which must've at LEAST sucked for red, considering steven was supposedly one of his biggest role models in becoming a trainer, let alone his inspo for wanting to become "the greatest".

the guy who was basically his idol just... vanished. where did he go?? no one will tell red where the hell steven OR mike went, probably making up something to keep him from worrying, but that doesn't keep him from being disappointed and upset that they weren't there to see him start his adventure.

that must've been rough on steven too, though, yeah? letting down someone like that who looked up to you, especially if they were close and had a familial bond- which was most likely, since steven seemed to have been at least a little close to red's family in the og story. steven fucking LOVED people-- he had a reputation around town, he knew everyone and everyone knew him. that kind of love for people doesn't just vanish that quickly, right? despite everything that happened, he's still himself, he still holds the same feelings, he's probably just more fucked up than usual/HJ

so all things considered-- steven missed out on a lot of red's life. that was rough for sure on red, and probably on steven as well, right? what was he missing out on while behind the pallet town walls? what was everyone doing since he vanished? what if something bad happened while he was gone?? what if something bad happened to someone he CARED about????

anyways!!! in conclusion: what if snow on mt silver and strangled red took place in the same universe/timeline. that is all ramble over thank u silly ppl in my phone have a great day

[skruttet]

moomintroll’s widdle paw 🥺

[shawoluvs]

I honestly just think fans expect way too much from idols. I’m not trying to sound insensitive but it is so tiring hearing people rant about how the media and gossip blogs don’t let idols rest or take a break and how sasaengs are creepy and out of order but the moment an idol needs to take a step back or doesn’t communicate with fans as expected people freak out and start speculating so much and working themselves (and other people, honestly) up with theories that are 50% a projection of their own feelings onto that idol and it’s just... idols really don’t owe us anything, they don’t owe us explanations for taking time away, they don’t need to fill us in on their lives or their mental state, they’re allowed privacy and unless they openly discuss a situation publicly or allow their company to do so, it’s really just not your business. Want the best for the idols you follow, even worry about them and their wellbeing if you want, but people have got to stop drawing up their own conclusions about things that may be private and they’re not actually owed any information about.

[sukirichi]

suki’s restaurant is now CLOSED! please read updates after the “keep reading” tab!

thank you for the milestone! it’s really such a huge gift to me since i just started posting jjk content here ten days ago (◕ᴗ◕✿) as a small token of appreciation, all requests are now open and there’s a variety of ingredients you can choose from!

masterlist !

meal guides:

🥞 breakfast - fics longer than 1k word counts

🍙 lunch (headcanons)

🍷 wine (nsfw content)

🍰 snack (timestamps, imagines & drabbles)

🍌 thirsts (ramble with me about our smexy thoughts!) for the brainrots

PLEASE READ:

— this event is officially closed. my asks are only open for the previous anons who i’ve asked to do a redo for any mistakes/restrictions in their previous orders.

— new requests will no longer be accepted. or maybe it will because i’m easily swayed with great ideas but it will no longer be part of the milestone event.

— my writing schedule is only during wednesdays, fridays, and the weekends. some works will be written in advance and scheduled to post daily (if possible.)

— please be patient! as you can see, i’ve got a lot of requests, and i really want your meals to be as pleasing and delicious as possible, so please please be patient. i’m training for med school and i’ve got other responsibilities too. if you want to decline a request if you can’t wait for it, that’s fine. 

— i’m human so...my mind can change any minute, and i could no longer be interested in a certain idea. if that happens, i’ll reply to your ask that i won’t be serving your meal anymore even if it’s here on the list below. it sounds kind of rude, but i wouldn’t want to write something i’m not interested in for the sake of pleasing others, because if i write something i don’t enjoy/am not that interested in anymore, then the meal won’t turn out as good had i been passionate for it. it’s going to be done out of forced productivity and the food might taste bad :<

— the last batch of accepted meals will be marked as ✿

— favorites will be marked as ★. because they’re the ideas i find most interesting and the ones i adore the most, they will take longer to be completed. i really want to give my ultimate best on that and just UNLEASH everything i have in me.

how to order!

✦ choose from the ingredients below

✦ choose your own sugar and spice!

✦ choose from the meal guides above! please specify if you want your request to be

✦ send in your request by dropping it on my ask box!

✦ be as descriptive as you want in your request, i want to make a good meal for you!

✦ example of how to order: 

— breakfast: ingredient 9 + sugar 1 for gojo 

— alternative: 9+1+1+song (optional) + dialogue of choice (optional)

— alternative:  breakfast with wine: ingredient 9 + sugar 1 + spice 1 for gojo

— optional: ingredient 9 + sugar 1 + spice 1 for toji + cookie “starboy by the weeknd” and “you wanna fuck me so bad”

ingredients : au (max of 2 picks!)

CROSSED OUT OPTIONS MEANS IT’S NO LONGER AVAILABLE

✦ sugar daddy au

✦ arranged marriage au

✦ accidental pregnancy au

✦ high school au

✦ university au

✦ med! student au / doctor! au

✦ lawyer au

✦ detective au

✦ ceo au

✦ sugar mommy au

✦ neighbours au

✦ bed sharing au

✦ roommates au

✦ co-workers au

✦ body swap au

✦ soulmate au

✦ fake dating au 

✦ marriage for convenience au 

✦ bodyguard au

✦ assassin au

✦ married au 

✦ love triangle au

✦ mutual pining au

✦ unrequited love au

✦ meet drunk au

✦ meet cute au

✦ siblings’ friend au

✦ friend’s sibling au

✦ established relationship au

✦ breakup au

✦ barista au / coffee shop au

✦ teacher x student au

✦ royalty au

✦ rentboy au 

✦ camboy/camgirl au

✦ ex au

✦ mistaken identity

✦ fuck buddies au

✦ bartender au

✦ tattoo artist au

✦ apocalypse au

✦ playboy au

✦ stoner au

✦ love at first sight au

✦ hate sex au

✦ sleepover au

✦ worthy opponent au

✦ age gap au

✦ loss of virginity au

✦ gangster au

✦ mafia au

✦ bet au

✦ rebound au

✦ drunk hookup au 

✦ bad boy good girl au

✦ amnesia au

✦ reincarnation au

✦ one of them is famous 

✦ one of them doesn’t know the other exists

✦ one of them is oblivious 

✦ one of them is taken already 

✦ polar opposites au

✦ met at the subway au

✦ library au

✦ football player au

✦ canon au (jjk canon)

✦ send me your own au!

sugar: tropes (max of 2 picks!)

CROSSED OUT OPTIONS MEANS IT’S NO LONGER AVAILABLE

✦ best friends to lovers

✦ enemies to lovers

✦ lovers to enemies

✦ strangers to lovers

✦ mutual pining 

✦ unrequited love

✦ forbidden relationship

✦ partners in crime

✦ slow burn

✦ send me your own trope!

spice: (for nsfw requests) (max of 3 picks!)

CROSSED OUT OPTIONS MEANS IT’S NO LONGER AVAILABLE

— here are the kinks/sexual content i’m comfortable writing about. there’s still a lot of kinks idk about so if it’s not here, please feel free to include the spice in the ask!

✦ breeding kink

✦ size kink

✦ stockholm syndrome

✦ age play

✦ agoraphilia (public place kink)

✦ somnophilia (consensual sex where the other is asleep)

✦ breath play

✦ dumbification

✦ cum play

✦ begging kink

✦ praising kink

✦ thigh riding

✦ collaring

✦ face sitting

✦ 34+35

✦ dacryphilia

✦ disciplining

✦ dirty talking

✦ exhibitionism

✦ role playing

✦ gagging

✦ watersports

✦ send me your own kink!

cherry on top : characters

CROSSED OUT OPTIONS MEANS IT’S NO LONGER AVAILABLE

— characters i can write anything for (nsfw & sfw)

: gojo satoru, fushiguro megumi, fushiguro toji, choso, noritoshi kamo, ryoumen sukuna, nanami kento, okkotsu yuta

— characters i can only write sfw for

: itadori yuuji, inumaki toge

— characters i want to write for but don’t think i can write well (nsfw & sfw)

: suguru geto, naoya zenin

— characters i’m MOST eager to write simp for

: fushiguro toji, nanami kento, fushiguro megumi, choso, naoya zenin

additional cookie!

✦ send me a song as a story inspo!

✦ send me your dialogue! (ex. “shut up and kiss me.”)

restaraunt rules : please read!

— i do not write about yandere, stalker, pregnant! reader (unless it’s still until the early age where the belly is still small), non-con, and heavily canon requests 

— nsfw content i won’t write about: period sex, blood play, temperature play, pegging, male characters dressing up as female, monster fucking (sorry, sukuna won’t be getting four arms if you want nsfw for him), bestiality, incest, hypnosis (non-con related)

— not exactly a restriction, but please keep in mind that y/n is still a character for me as the writer. i may or may not add in features that even though isn’t explicit, could be something not suitable for everyone. phrases like, “he peered down at her” sounds neutral enough, but could still be implied that the reader is shorter than the anime character. it’s difficult to write a 100% neutral fic that won’t imply appearance one way or another. if i’ve written anything offensive/upsetting, feel free to tell me about it. i’ll do my best to keep it neutral.

— the reader will always be female bodied in nsfw content

— please be patient! i want to write fics the requester enjoys so i’m going to take my time in preparing your meal!

— i may or may not cook your meal 100% according to your request. depending on my comfort upon the idea, i may have to tweak a detail or two.

— i can refuse your request if i don’t want to write about it for personal or other reasons. i’ll let you know beforehand.

— wine will take longer to be served!

— i will announce if a trope/au/character is no longer open for requests. i feel like some ingredients will be quite common amongst requesters and i don’t want to write for the same thing over and over again. same goes in the manner that if you have a similar request to another, it’ll be fused into one idea/meal.

— if your request contains offensive/uncomfortable content, i won’t even respond back to you. i’ll immediately delete your ask.

— if you still don’t get or are confused by the guides, send me an ask! i’ll happily guide you!

— this event is now closed. i will temporarily be closing my ask box so i don’t get flooded. i’ll open it again tonight for anyone who has questions or just want to drop a message!

hmm...i’m still not sure how to order for my meal.

✧ what if the story/scenario i want isn’t included in the choices above?

— as i’ve stated, please feel free to request whatever you want! the choices are there to give people an idea what they’d like to see, but if it’s not there, you can still request for it as stated in the “send me an au/trope/kink you want!”

✧ what if i don’t have any ingredient, spice, or sugar i want but a song inspo anyway?

— that’s also fine, but it would be preferred if you’re descriptive so your meal could be delivered better and faster. in this case though, i’ll just have to get creative!

✧ what if i want more than one character in the request?

— having others included in the request is fine, but as much as possible, i can only write a maximum of two main characters (the reader excluded)

✧ what if i want to request for the ones you want to write for but you don’t think you can pull it off well?

— just a heads up! i would love to write for them, but because i’m not entirely caught up in the manga, the characters mentioned above aren’t ones i know very well yet. 

✧ not exactly regarding the meal, but i’ve sent you requests from last week. would you still be writing them?

— i’ve received several requests when my bio states that requests are closed. however, because the ideas are actually really precious and i know i’d have fun writing them, i’d still write about them. i just cannot guarantee you’ll receive your meal soon since my requests were closed when you sent them. 

UPDATES:

Day One: breeding kink, size kink, thigh riding, married au, best friends to lovers is NO LONGER AVAILABLE.

Day Two: established relationship au, mutual pining, dumbification, and gojo satoru is NO LONGER AVAILABLE. to the asks that were received before this update, you may check on the requests accepted whether you made it to the cut or not. i’ll update this later. the restaurant will also reach out to you if one of your requested ingredients/spice/sugar/cherry on top did not make the cut. my asks are still open, so please tweak your requests a little bit to what is available! 

Day Two Update 2: Restaurant is CLOSED! spice 6 (somnophilia) is also no longer available! Check the requests accepted to see if you’ve made the cut, the latest and last accepted requests will be marked as ✿! 

requests accepted:

✦ fushiguro megumi

megumi really likes reader and gojo, yuuji, nobara helps him confess

shy megumi who is really flustered and shy around his crush  meals fused into one. read here: not shy

★🥞🍷 40 (tattoo artist au) + 5 (mutual pining) + 2,12,13 (size kink, praise kink, thigh riding) + reader is shorter than megumi and isn’t shy read here: work of art

(★🥞🍷 5 (university au) + 5 (mutual pining) + 12, 3 (praise kink, stockholm syndrome) + virgin megumi) i’ve been outlining this for days but idk...i just can’t seem to form something out of it. i still have it saved but idk if i can still finish, i’ll try my best though.   it’s just challenging to write, sorry :( MEAL UNAVAILABLE

🥞 + 33 (royalty au) + 1 (best friends to lovers)

🍷 + 27 (siblings’ friend au) + 1, 11, 19 (breeding kink, dumbification, dirty talking) + feral megumi (feral megumi supremacy) read here: unstoppable

🥞 + 3, 38 (accidental pregnancy, fuck buddies au) + childhood friends to lovers + baby moments with father! megumi MEAL ORDER 9 & 7 FUSED read here: happy little accidents

★ vampire au + 55 (reincarnation au) + 6 (somnophilia) + vampire markings + blood drinking + nursing megumi...or him nursing you? hmm? (STRUGGLE PAANIK) read here: scarlet

✿ 🍰🍷 23, 38 (mutual pining au, fuck buddies au) might fuse it with request 7  MEAL ORDER 9 & 7 FUSED read here: happy little accidents

✦ nanami kento

jealous nanami with oblivious reader + gojo annoying nanami making nanami confess read here: a little push

comfort & angst fic where reader dates gojo but gojo cheats so she breaks down, leaves him, and nanami comforts reader  it’s too difficult for me to write sorry :(

★🥞 + 33 (royalty au) + 7 (forbidden relationship) read here: violet

🥞🍷 + 21 (married au) +  4 (strangers to lovers) + 2, 12 (size kink, praising kink) MEAL U

🥞🍷 + 23 (mutual pining au) + 1 (best friends to lovers) + 1 (breeding kink) read here: like crashing waves

ingredient 6 (med! student au / doctor! au)  + sugar 7 (forbidden relationship) + spices 12 (praising kink) + dacryphilia read here: overtime

✦ noritoshi kamo

fem!dom reader where nori defends his wife from the elders so she gives him the best night + blowjobs + overstimulation + sub! househusband nori + tit sucking spspss (MEAL UNAVAILABLE)

🍷 + 18 (marriage for convenience au) + 5 (mutual pining) + 18 (disciplining)

🥞 + 21 (married au) + 1,13 (breeding kink, thigh riding) meals fused into one, breeding kink is no longer included | read here: i know

🥞🍷 + 20, 58 (assassin! reader, oblivious! noritoshi) + 13 (thigh riding) + love at first sight + “wait, are you flirting with me?” + “have been since the beginning, thanks for finally noticing.” (BIG BRAIN ENERGY) read here: illusion

✦ gojo satoru

serotonin boost for that lovely anon gojo simp 9487 (i’m going to make this special for you because i love you anon) i was thinking maybe gojo comforts his uni!student s/o? just fluff and some cutesy tootsy to relieve your stress! MEAL FUSED WITH SEVEN

Tokyo by Leat’eq + ice cream shop! au with limited cat themed ice cream, you need to wear cat ears to go order + “nyaa!” read here

🍷 + 44 (hate sex au) + 7 (forbidden relationship) + 12 (praising kink) read here: divine

🥞🍷  + 29 (established relationship au) + 5 (mutual pining) no longer included + 6 (somnophilia) + fused with other request that isn’t listed here read here: sweet angel

✿ 🥞🍷 + 29 (established relationship au) + 12,15 (praising kink, face sitting) + reader runs into awful ex and gets worshipped by gojo like they deserve (queen tingz) + gojo comfort read here: breathless

(✿ 🥞🍷 + 12 (bed sharing au) + 7 (forbidden relationship) + 19 (dirty talk) + magdalena bay : killshot + jujutsu tech goes on a trip, gojo and reader ends up sharing rooms and a twin bed)  i’ve been outlining this for days but idk...i just can’t seem to form something out of it. i still have it saved but idk if i can still finish, i’ll try my best though.   it’s just challenging to write, sorry :( MEAL UNAVAILABLE

★✿ 50,1 (mafia au, sugar daddy au) + spice 8,12 (dumbification, praising kink) wow butterfly anon POPPED OFF | read here: earned it

✿ 33 (royal au) + 5 (mutual pining) + 11 (praising kink) read here: fall from grace

✦ choso my MAN

Tokyo by Leat’eq + ice cream shop! au with limited cat themed ice cream, you need to wear cat ears to go order + “nyaa!” + flustered choso + “onii-chan” read here

★🥞 + 17, 34 (fake dating, rentboy au) + 2 (enemies to lovers) + optional wine read here: easy

soulmate au + forbidden relationship MEAL UNAVAILABLE

✦ inumaki toge

🥞 + 15 (body swap au) + 1 (best friends to lovers) read here: total opposites

🥞 + 10 (sugar mommy au) + 4 (strangers to lovers) BIG BRAIN ENERGY THIS ONE (STRUGGLE PAANIK)  it’s too difficult for me to write sorry :(

★🥞 + 64 (canon au) + 5 (mutual pining) + sensitive first kiss with inumaki, them trapped in a room + yuuji as matchmaker uwu + WALL PIN KISS YES SIR + basically hot af inumaki...debating whether i should turn into wine HMMM read here: delicate

✦ naoya zenin 🙄

naoya putting reader back in their place, LONG SCHLONG CLUB read here: acquainted

✿ deity au + virgin sacrifice for naoya + reader with worship kink (DAMN THIS ONE GOT ME TINGLING, its going to be consensual tho, we all have consent kink in this house) read here: true gift

✦ okkotsu yuta 

🍷 + 53 (bad boy good girl au) + 8,10 (dumbification) read here: good for you

★🥞🍷 + 65 (both are oblivious) + 5,9 (mutual pining, slow burn) + 6,9,16 (somnophilia, cum play, 34+35) MEAL UNAVAILABLE

✿ 🥞🍷 58, 65 (one of them is oblivious, hanahaki disease on reader) + 5,9 (mutual pining, slow burn) + 12 (praising kink + cockwarming) + clumsy first time sex MEAL UNAVAILABLE

✦ itadori yuuji 

🥞 + 21 (married au) + 7 (forbidden relationship) (STRUGGLE PAANIK) it’s too difficult for me to write sorry :( MEAL UNAVAILABLE

✦ toji fushiguro

★✿ toxic toji YES + enemies to greater enemies + toji railing reader in front of someone they’re seeing because he doesn’t want to see you happy but he doesn’t want to “keep” you either (LOL this is so toji, might tweak a little bit) read here: personal disaster

age gap au + size kink, somnophilia read here: shhh

✦ ryoumen sukuna

🥞 + 2 (arranged marriage) + 2 (enemies to lovers) read here: black magic

55 (reincarnation au) + 7 (forbidden relationship) no longer included + unrequited love + home from war inspired read here: home from war: the ending

✿ 🍷 + 38 + master x servant + degrading, edging, begging (oooh degrading aint my kink but let’s see let’s see) MEAL UNAVAILABLE

[albatris]

uhm hi there im new to your blog, and your ocs/snippets seem really interesting! i also love your art, but i have no idea whos who and i can’t seem to find a master post with all of your characters, what they look like, their pronouns, backstory etc. would it be possible for you to maybe give a brief rundown of each character or link some posts related to them?? it doesn’t have to be super in depth and please DO NOT feel obligated to do this at all if you don’t want to. but id love to know a little bit more about them! hope you have a good day and sorry for the long message :))

hello!!! thank you so much, that’s so nice of you to say!!! I’m glad you’ve enjoyed what you’ve seen so far :D :D

now, you’ll have to forgive me, it’s super late and this reply will NOT be neat or concise whatsoever....... which kinda sets the tone for most of this blog tbh so I guess it’s cool

I don’t really have any sort of masterpost, most of what I post about these guys is in the form of snippets and rambles and usually people just jump on board wherever..... which, yeah, can be confusing and difficult for folks to keep up with especially if they’re new HAHAHA

I will start out with the bits I *do* have nice neat intros for! I have two main WIPs, All The Doors Are Open and Undertow! Undertow is currently more of a side project, but you can read about the characters here, and here’s some art for Aster and Kit and also Meg so you have faces to the names c:

and now this:

the main four I speak about on this blog are Noa, Tris, Shara and Kai from ATDAO, n I have these handy character intros on hand for this exact purpose!! here u go (I mean here’s the link to the old post but it’s still got the wrong name for Tris so eh)

n honestly knowing these four is like 90% of the work tbh, I am a simple man, I post content about the same four OCs 24/7 until everyone is sick of it,,

Tris and Noa are the protagonists and viewpoint characters! 

Tris’s plotline involves him trying to figure out what happened to his older brother Jacob, who got hit by a car and straight-up vanished from existence entirely, and involves a quest into an unreality that can be described as “getting lost down the back of an interdimensional sofa”. also there’s a sword and a cat. think fantasy/adventure vibes that veer into horror

Noa’s plotline involves her work at the Department of Interdimensional Instabilities! and her becoming tangled up with otherworldly energies and gaining some strange powers, as well as her clash with basically-a-cartoon-supervillain Laurence Marrick Thiele, whose full name I like to type out and who’s attempting to manipulate interdimensional doorways for his own gain and putting a hell of a lot of people’s lives in peril. think mystery/sci-fi vibes!

Shara and Kai aren’t viewpoint characters but they’re still up there as MCs and I love them! Shara’s story centres around her attempting to solve three mysteries from her childhood which she believes will lead her to the source of the apocalypse, and Kai’s story involves them dealing with the emotional and interpersonal repercussions of losing seven years of their life to a time loop and their attempts to reconnect with their family, who thought they were dead

annnnnnnnd that’s basically all the nice neat concise stuff I can give ya! 

under the cut will be some additional rambles you don’t really need to read, I’m not so good at coming up with Nice Neat Character Summaries on the fly, so it’s just me scrambling about to find vaguely relevant posts and links..... it will unfortunately be a bit of a mess and perhaps only tangentially relevant

cannot emphasise enough that I debated not even including the next stuff but hey! I like talking

OK SO

Other side characters you might see around are Alice (she/her, red curly hair, undercut, dresses in lots of green) and Jet (he/they, green spiky hair, freckles, dresses like a thrift store got hit by a tornado), who are Noa’s teammates at the DII! Alice is Noa’s love interest n is cool and mysterious and Jet is the team leader n is completely chaotic and unhinged

these two

There’s also Kai’s younger brother Kieran (he/him) and Tris’s siblings Becca (she/her) and Jacob (he/him), none of whom I have ever drawn more than twice and whose appearances seem to change every time I write about them so I’m not going to describe them here hahahaha

I do have a Kieran for you though uhhhh where’s my One Decent Kieran Drawing

that’s the one!

anyway, backstories are................ a lot. so I don’t think I’m gonna go into too much of it here on this post

I have, like........ a collection of posts scattered all over the place that kind of go into some things? but in very tangential ways. I’ll toss you some plot + character rambles that might be of interest! though my rambles are not everyone’s cup of tea ‘cause they’re, well, rambling

first! the plot of the story is here! which might give you some context for the Everything! this one is a Big ramble, not all of them are like this lol

Greer siblings!

romance?

here’s Jacob info for an ask response I did one time which is one of the few posts where I talk about Jacob at length ‘cause he’s just lots of spoilers

also did one for Kai which might have some info for ya?? but idk if it’s all that relevant

might come back and add more rambles later, it is currently 2 in the AM

or I might come back and be like “logan could you really not think of a better way to answer this question” and delete the rambles

yeehaw thx for listening I love you

also apologies for the complete and utter lack of info on Kieran he is a mystery that eludes me still

[katierosefun]

so after one really big latte, a muffin, a run which resulted in a near accident with an oncoming car, and a shower in which i contemplated my own mortality, here’s my thoughts on the adorable me & au podcast, because babe wake up new hyperfixation dropped. very spoiler-y, i’m sorry in advance for how f*cking long this is, this might only have like two people reading this but i have many thoughts please listen to this podcast because it’s so cute and i listened to it all in about 2.5 hours? 

- firstly: the main character is super relatable. like, scary relatable. meet kate “acunningplan” cunningham, a gal about to enter her senior year of college and just kinda,,,lost. she works as a barista and very confused, very...stuck gal by day, fic writer (and still very stuck gal) by.........not barista hours. 

- honestly, i love kate. idk i’m about to enter my senior year of college, and bro i related so hard to her fears of “bro i can’t even think about next week without feeling overwhelmed”. she misses her best friend whitney a lot, who is currently on the other side of the country for an impressive internship. so that can be kinda lonely. 

- but fear not, kate has an escape, like so many other fic writers/fandom people: fanfic. this whole story references tumblr without actually naming tumblr (let’s be real....it’s tumblr, from the “notes” to “this stupid app keeps crashing”), and kate follows this tv show about werewolves and supernatural creatures. very gay. only problem is that there’s not a whole ton of people active in the fandom, since this show is relatively new. 

- however, in this small fandom, kate meets ella: otherwise known as “hella-enchanted”, who is another fic writer. 

- kate is very obsessed with the idea of alternate universes, and for that alone, i love her.

- okay, so even if you’ve never fallen in love with a person online/in fandom circles, i just wanna say that ella and kate’s interactions are still so super relatable. the shooting messages, the starting random conversations and getting a little thrill when you see someone liking your personal post or whatever. it’s very wholesome. 

- also, at the end of episode 1, kate goes on about how “yeah, fanfic is kinda odd, but it led me...to you” and it was so soft and gentle you just know your heart is gonna melt huh 

- at one point, kate decides to be vulnerable via vent post about something that came up on the show (and oh god yeah i feel...things. kate relates very hard to one character in the tv show she’s following, and tbh,,,yeah. i can’t quite word it right now, but i think anyone who feels kinda.....stuck? would relate.) 

- the “EXACTLY ONE PERSON ASKED FOR THIS ESSAY SO HERE IT IS” please

- also oh :’)))) kate talks about ella’s playlists and when i tell you i squeaked a little bit because oh hey--

- anyways lol yes can you relate to like,,,posting a vent post and forgetting to delete it and being mildly horrified (but also mildly touched) when someone actually responds?

- ella’s very sweet, just responds with “seems like one of my favorite fandom people needed a pick-me-up” and :’))) i would die for ella! (i mean, i would die for all the characters) 

- okay yes also all the bits where ella and kate scream at each other about fic. very relatable, very real, you can tell that the writers of this podcast really knew this feeling, and i just :’)))

- THE TWO DEBATE OVER TITLES,,,,,kate keeps sending in crack-y titles and also song lyrics, and ella comments on “well,,,i just read this whole wikipedia page, so i think i’ve lost the high ground”, so if y’all KNOW i started laughing at that 

- also LMAOOOO the moment when conversation diverts from fic and fandom to slightly more personal things! kate being like “oh,,,,,you have an actual job! like,,,you’re an actual adult and.....how’s that?” and then quickly rambling on via message “actually let me change the topic because that’s probably too personal”...

- okay so there’s this bit where ella drops the fact that she’s never read anne of green gables because “listen,,,,you have an ex-girlfriend who sang the anne of green gables musical all the time--” and kate’s “.......ex-girlfriend? you had an ex-girlfriend? girl--” (and BACKSPACING ALL OF THAT because “god i’m such a freak”) 

- much gay disaster

- so much gay disaster

- opportunity for kate and ella to meet irl comes up! at a fan convention! in toronto! (and kate lives in bc). kate’s best friend (remember, internship one?) invited kate over to toronto for this thing anyways, and then ella posts something about “heeeey i’m gonna be in the area so if anyone wants to meet up for the fan convention...” 

- let me just say......kate chucking her phone across the room because she freaked out about that. again. very cool, very nicely done, very relatable, etc. 

- ALSO,,,,i forget if this was one of kate or ella’s fics or if it was the actual tv show, but there’s this tidbit where the characters in the literal fandom has this conversation: 

“don’t waste your time.” 

“what?” 

“don’t waste your time on me.” 

and the way that reflects kate’s feelings-but-she’s-not-trying-to-think-about-it for ella please let me just die here

- okay, so kate does decide to message ella about the meet-up, and let me just tell you, kate’s inner monologue about the worst possibilities for ella’s responses: 

“1. no response. which is terrible. 

2. you find out you’re not wanted after all. :(((((

3. the most terrifying response of all.......” (an enthusiastic “yes i’m so glad we can meet up!!!”) 

- well, of course ella responds with #3. 

- gay disaster kate not knowing how to acknowledge her feelings for ella...she goes on this “you don’t wanna come across as....y’know because if they suspect that....y’know.....and like, i don’t....y’know--” oh my god kate 

- anyways, kate works at a coffeeshop, right? and her co-worker stewart (nonbinary pansexual co-worker! we love to see the rep!!) being like “oh yeah maybe you can bring over your friend!” and kate panicking because “ohhhhh i’m not too sure about that,,,,she’s,,,,,,,,,busy......” (ie. the awkward moment of having to explain that,,,,,,your online friend isn’t exactly someone you’ve met in real life,,,,,,,,and not sure exactly how to explain that so you just,,,,,,“ohhhh uhhh......y’know...............it’s really hard to.......get her out of.....work.....” 

- kate and ella video-chatting for the first time is very cute, very gay. very gay. 

- they swap “how’d you know you were gay / liked girls” stories :’))) 

- “that’s a cute story!” “you’re a cute story” [awkward silence] “please let me hide under the desk now” (have i mentioned that kate’s  a disaster? i love her, but you’re a disaster. we need to be best friends.)

- kate.....describing herself as “irl fanfic disaster waiting to happen” and the whole “i didn’t know we were actually dating until she asked if she could kiss me” lmaoooooooooo (but okay yes this is also a mood? like,,,,,,idk something about heteronormative standards so like,,,,,it’s so stupidly hard to figure out if a girl is flirting with you or if they’re just being nice i am glad kate’s such a disaster) 

- in other news: kate’s “how tf do i write a kiss scene i don’t like the word lips ughhhhHHHHH” (yeah, mood kate) 

- lmao stewart (kate’s co-worker!) just chilling with kate and being like “oh yeah i figured you had a girlfriend? the one you’re talking about? ella?” and kate blanking because “wait you thought ella was my girlfriend? she’s not....uhhh....” and then later drinking with stewart and rambling about ella and panicking because “what if she realizes i can’t talk about anything except this tv show what if she thinks i laugh too loud what if i have horrific body odor what if she realizes i have NOTHING to say what if our meeting goes SO terribly that i need to deactivate and change my name just so i could like her posts at 3 am” and then her small “please forget i said any of that” 

- oh kate :(((( 

- kate :((((((

- k a t e :(((((((((((((((((((

- anyways, kate does go to toronto. 

- meets ella. 

- very cute. 

- ella...........very gay. they go into a coffeeshop and kate doesn’t know what to do. 

- okay but what’s hilarious is that ella,,,,,seems so cool and suave and i too would be kind of intimidated by her but then these two idiots really talk about writing kissing scenes and the build-up and ella’s voice gets all,,,,,,suggestive and there’s this.....awkward gay silence between the two oh my GOD they’re both IDIOTS 

- also okay yes kate and whitney, a irl friend, having a heart-to-heart. good. we love that. also, whitney being like “I MISSED YOU!!! YOU IDIOT!!!! and i’m glad you have a new friend, and you’re happy, but I MISSED YOU!!! I HATE THIS CITY AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING!!!” (whitney is also very relatable. ily whitney.) 

- they’re so cute. they hug, and it’s sweet :’)) also, then kate says in a stupidly small voice “i think i’m....kinda in love with [ella]?” and whitney being best supportive friend-- 

- OKAY so we finally get an episode of ella’s perspective 

- listen, you’re gonna think ella’s this cool, suave person who has all her own gayness put together (i mean, she kinda knew since she was 9 or 10 years old? she’s had a girlfriend? she seems like she has her life together? she’s waiting to get into grad school? she has a job? she just seems....cool and knows what she’s doing). 

- but then you realize. ella is just as much a pining mess. (her bullet point list/schedule in her head is so relatable. as someone who uses her notes and reminders app religiously, that was just :’))) 

- ella: reasons why this is not a date. and then....kate sends a message. (ella: reason why this....might be a date....kate keeps saying stuff like...that.) 

- kate rehearsing how to tell ella that she maybe kinda likes her? very cute. (”you know the feeling in your chest when....uh, you know when you feel like you have a frog in your stomach--oh god not the frog NOT the frog”) 

- the love confession is very cute, and also very relatable. “i like you a lot” “i like you too!” “no i mean,,,,like i like you. wait. which like do you mean? wait that’s not english. uh. what did you say?” 

- kate’s “I HAD A WHOLE DRAMATIC FANFIC CONFESSION PLANNED OUT” 

- kate and ella just spilling everything made me :’))) 

- “i like how your brain works” “i made so many posts hoping that you would just talk to me” “you always make me laugh” “you just make me feel...better” “you make me smile” 

- “this whole summer you’ve been making me smile and i guess it kind of freaked me out? ...i don’t know where my life is going but if i have a choice, i want to go in any direction you’re going because you are cute and smart and amazing and i like you a lot, ella. like that. so yeah. that’s what i was thinking i’d say.” 

- i essentially explaine dthe whole plot but 

- i love this podcast a lot

- it was very sweet

- and very cute

- very wlw 

- i don’t even mind that i almost got hit by a car while i was running and listening to this it was worth it 

- idk. just like. anyone who’s ever read or written fic or just like...not necessarily fallen in love with another person? but at least relating to that feeling of “oh god i am not qualified to talk to this person” and “oh god what if they realize i’m actually,,,,a loser” and “oh god wait how to friend” can probably hit a lot of people

- but that said. the romance was very cute, very sweet, makes me :’))) 

- okay i’ll stop talking now but i just. it’s very cute, very relatable, i wish we had a season 2 but i think it’s a limited series. (but they’re living rent free in my head! forever!)

[forestwater87]

Hey! It's the one who wanted fanfiction writing advice and how to sorta join the fandom. So, I am currently writing a werewolf! au for Gwenvid, and I was wondering if I could ask you something (well, multiple somethings lol)? One, what are things you would like to see in a Gwenvid fic? Two, do you have any advice for writing a good first chapter? Mine is kind of short and not too good, but yours are super good. Three, how would Gwen react to becoming a werewolf? Scared or excited? Thanks!

Oooh, fun! I don’t know if I’m the best authority on this, but I think I have a couple followers who might also have some good insights. Let’s see . . .

Things I personally go feral for in Gwenvid fics:

That UST. Pining, longing, yearning -- whatever you wanna call it, all those little glances at each other then looking away when they get caught staring, getting distracted by a brush of skin against theirs or the other one looking amazing just out of nowhere, standing too close without realizing it and then awkwardly coughing and backing away . . . all of it. These two goobers in love with each other and completely oblivious is just . . . idk, it’s obviously personal preference, but that will-they-won’t-they dance is one of my favorite things about pre-established-relationship Gwenvid, and something I never get tired of. (Also, just saying: werewolf transformations have the distinct side effect of the werewolf waking up partially or completely naked in the forest. It’s a scenario ripe for awkward and/or hilarious situations.)

If they’re in an established relationship already, it’s all about those little domestic things. I mean, there can be domestic things even before they’re dating, because they live together for like 3-4 months out of the year so they have a routine going, but things like one of them keeping the light on for the other without thinking, making coffee/tea and leaving everything laid out just the way the other one likes it, communicating (or even arguing) with just a look, all the casual lil touches of two people so comfortable with each other that it’s automatic at this point. It’s an essential part of fluff that I sometimes feel is overlooked in favor of more dramatic hurt/comfort (which is also excellent, to be clear).

BANTER! It’s not so much a canon thing as a fanon one, but the artist formerly known as Ciphernetics basically established flirty teasing and back-and-forth as a staple of Gwenvid’s charm in their earth-shatteringly beautiful fanfiction (that I can’t link because tumblr softblocks posts with links, but if you look at my blog for like 10 seconds you’ll be able to figure out what I’m talking about), and I think everyone’s writing, including my own, needs more banter. They’re so different, after all; why not have them butt heads in a fun way?

Please please please don’t do NSFW if you’re uncomfortable with it, but there is nowhere near enough of it in Gwenvid-land. Just because we’re wholesome doesn’t mean we can’t also be kinky! (Oh man, I just realized I have no idea how old you are. Uhhhh if you’re not an adult just skip this one on by! Or if you are an adult and this ain’t it. It’s like it wasn’t ever here! Poof! I should probably just delete this, but maybe it’ll awaken a spark of inspiration in someone. Lord knows I haven’t been driving the smut train for a while, so I’m just hoping someone else will do my job for me. Plus Gwen would want me to include this suggestion, especially if there are werewolves involved.)

You know, there’s not a lot of action-hero Gwenvid out there, is there? Most of it’s relationship melodrama and domestic fluff, which I love -- obviously, I write it literally all the time -- but with a werewolf AU you have the opportunity for gratuitous violence, and both David and Gwen have proven they can kick a whole lot of ass and deal out (or take) a lot of pain. If you need two people fighting monsters -- or fighting as monsters -- you could do a lot worse than those two. It’d be a fun change of pace that’d work well with their character dynamic.

Writing a first chapter:

I don’t have a ton of advice here that isn’t pretty common, but the biggest thing is to start in the middle of action. This can range in terms of drama: a camp activity going horribly wrong, a nightmare, maybe even David discovering Gwen’s a werewolf. Your story doesn’t have to go in chronological order, after all, so if you have to backtrack in later scenes or chapters that’s not a bad thing in the slightest! 

It’s much better to start with a really exciting, gripping situation and then backfill in the information that matters than starting off with all that boring worldbuilding and exposition. Don’t get me wrong, that worldbuilding and exposition are necessary, but they’re also like . . . I dunno, salt. It’s essential to the recipe, but no one would say it’s their favorite part of a meal, and having to eat a whole pile of it before they get to the good stuff wouldn’t be enjoyable at all. It’s better sprinkled throughout to add flavor to your story as needed.

I like that metaphor! It’s kinda cliche, but I think it still gets the job done.

So yeah, start with something exciting and know it’s okay for your readers to go, “wait, what the fuck’s going on?” That’s kind of a great thing, actually; it establishes mystery and introduces higher stakes, and just gets your readers going. It’s also more fun to write, which is good! (For example, I just read a really great book call The Chill, which opened with a woman tying a bag over her head, weighting herself down with chains, and throwing herself into a river to “join the work.” Who is this person? What work? Did she know she was going to die -- it definitely doesn’t feel like a suicide, but what else did she think was going to happen?? I’m instantly on board, even if the next few scenes were focused on establishing exposition and actually kinda boring. It’s all about that hook.)

To be fair: I don’t do this all that often in my own fics. For every “starting the story with a botched assassination attempt,” we have “starting the story with waking up.” It’s important to have a first chapter that matches and sets the tone of your story; if it’s going to be a rip-roaring action/horror adventure, you’re going to want to start things off with all that stuff I mentioned before. If you’re writing cute fluff, there’s nothing wrong with your in media res chapter opening being an adorable fluffy scene. Compelling doesn’t have to mean scary or action-packed, but more serve as a teaser for what the rest of the story is going to bring. I’ve been leaning on action or thriller stuff because a werewolf AU implies some level of creature-feature monster spookiness, but any tone works as the start of a fic, as long as it’s not “here’s a laundry list of the universe’s rules,” because that’s boring and you can weave that into the rest of your story later. 

As for your other comment, short isn’t bad at all; in fact, if you want to make your first chapter a really short, compelling scene, that can be a great way to draw people in. But I also am a proponent of writing until it’s done, and couldn’t stick to a page or word count to save my life. My chapters are all over the place, and sometimes I’ll randomly chop them up if I feel like it’s going too long but usually I don’t bother. The more you write, the more you develop a feel for when the story, chapter, or scene needs to end, but as you’re starting out you might wanna snag a beta to help you find that stopping place.

Wow, this is long! Awkward! Sorry about that! I’ll make this last one short:

Gwen the werewolf:

I can’t imagine any universe in which she isn’t psyched as hell. I think she desperately wants to be more special and important than she is, and having a sexy monster superpower would only be a good thing to her, regardless of whatever its drawbacks may be. She might get tired of certain aspects of being a werewolf as the honeymoon phase wears off, but in the beginning I think she’d be excited and maybe even relieved.

Anyway, I hope that helps! It’s a lot of rambling, but I imagine you’re used to that by now. :)

[xmoonlitxdreamx]

Zero Escape rambling/opinions under the cut

I'm not really super involved in the ZE fandom these days, but is sigma/luna generally seen as controversial...? It's hard fpr me to gauge ppl's opinions in the fandom idk... I never played ZTD so i really kinda percieved them to be a potential romance (w the "i love klim" password, luna ending where she holds Sigma & it's revealed he gave her the necklace, also sigma's weird "flirting" w her which i personally wasn't always a fan of but that's another topic).... idk it never read as familial to me so even tho i know canonically ztd sigma says "luna's like a daughter to me" i just.... dont really buy that or put that into account at all when I draw them, I kinda just ignore that....

like i guess it can be imagined as me drawing from a timeline where sigma doesn't develop a familial relationship with luna? I mostly draw them w luna having romantic feelings for him, and sigma having a mix of lingering sentimental feelings for diana/romance in general + soft affection for luna... idk i know i just said i ship them but even then i kinda draw them w sigma trying to keep things platonic between them given the situation, but he does also maybe have some sort of underlying romantic feelings for her. Idk that's just my take on them, kinda not very articulate or clear rn sorry;;

Even with never playing ZTD I personally didn't like how they handled Sigma's plot and stuff so a lot of the game just doesn't feel canon to me & I don't apply to my drawings of the characters;; Honestly some of the decisions made between vlr and ztd just baffle me like if Sigma and Phi are father & daughter, why would they make 22-year-old Sigma make weird passes/comments about her in vlr.... like i think before ztd was released uchikoshi had been like "i dont view sigma and phi romantically for reasons that will be explained later, don't view them like that" in an interview & im like.... you could have avoided ppl seeing them like that if you didn't write sigma making weird comments about phi in vlr...... idk i never viewed phi and sigma romantically while playing & mostly saw them as friends who insulted each other a lot, but i also wondered like maybe they're supposed to be a pairing or something?? So it was just weird for me to learn that in ztd "oh sigma's actually phi's dad" and "oh sigma actually sees luna as his daugter" when it seemed like vlr was implying otherwise...

(again i dont ship sigma/phi and personally never saw them romantically in vlr... I do think it's weird that they made sigma flirt (?) w phi in vlr & think they should've been more careful abt how they handled their dialogue given that they are revealed to be father and daughter.)

Anyway idk, a lot of sigma's character and relationships w other characters is just so weirdly written.... like i know most ppl dont like him for making gross comments abt the girls in vlr and i agree... i think there are ways to write horny characters (or even just characters that find a lot of ppl attractive) without having to make them make a lot of gross comments at people... it's like annoying to me that there's all this weird stuff surrounding him when I really liked a lot of his other characterization (like being kinda a goofy idiot but smart at the same time, his instinct to just trust ppl immediately, his kinda surprising earnestness despite seeming like a self-centered douchebag sndnnxj).

I guess the point is... i like and draw sigma/luna (mostly college au bc post-vlr is kinda complicated) bc i basically ignore a lot of what goes on in ztd and am able to detach myself enough from the game given that ive never played it, but also if it makes ppl uncomfortable truly I do understand that bc he does canonically say he thinks of her as a daughter.... I really really dont see them like that tho so anytime i draw them please know it's not as a father-daughter relationship;;

I don't draw them much anymore but like if it does make most ppl uncomfortable i don't mind not posting what I draw, or like making a tag for them for ppl to block... idk. This is basically a non-issue bc i really haven't drawn sigluna in a while... but i do also want to eventually finish that comic i was working on last year, which kind of has sigluna themes (tho the conclusion is why things can't work between them tbh sjnxndnn idk in post-vlr timeline i kinda hc no endgame romance for sigma... hence why i ship him w so many ppl in my weird college au LMAO;;)

Anyway yeah. Idk what else to say here, there's not really a point to this post just kinda blabbing... might delete later bc i hate having opinions on things jsncndnjc

SIGH in conclusion i think uchikoshi did sigma dirty lmao.....

[alun-ura]

🌻🌻🌻

Send me a 🌻 and I’ll just tell you whatever the fuck I want

We have only one braincell and it can’t stop howling about Automata so I’ll take thREE OF YOUR THINGIes to just ramble about how the song Weight of the World destroys my soul and why I can’t stop crying about sad androids but it also heavy spoilers for Nier: Automata so idk man

First time you hear it is when you finish the first route / 2B’s route, and the song feels a lot like it’s from 2B’s perspective and gross sob as you learn more about her, that she is actually called 2E.

The official designation...is 2E. Number 2, Type E.

This is a specific model for Executioner,  it is shown in some side quest that there was another types among these and iirc the one you meet kills herself for nor being able to bear with the guilt of having to meet people / make friends and eventually having to kill them at some point. 2B's role though was to be sure that 9S wouldn’t find out about the truth behind the YoRHa, so she’d have to kill him every time he ended up finding out about it because of the natural curiosity programmed on his model/type.  

Tell me God, are you punishing me? Is this the price I'm paying for my past mistakes?

Even though she knew the truth about YoRHa simply for her model, and having to deal with 9S finding out about it - where there are times where he even learns the truth about her.

(9S speaks while struggling painfully.) 9S: Damn ...! 2B, why?! Why did you ...! Pod 153 (narration): A wide, white sword penetrates 9S's stomach. Pod 153 (narration): As delicate, red blood drips down him. (2B hides her pained feelings.) 2B: You attempted to access highly confidential information ... therefore ... 9S: B-But ... 2B ... T-Trust ... me ... Pod 153 (narration): 9S's vital signs begin to fade. Pod 153 (narration): Heart rate decreasing, body temperature declining, motor functions failing, pupils dilating. Pod 153 (narration): As every one of his parameters breaks down, he chokes out his final words. 9S: I-It hurts ... It ... h-hurt ... s ... (His heart stops, and there is the sound effect of a flatline beep.)

So 2B was bound to ALWAYS be partners with 9S, and ALWAYS have to kill him *muffled crying* thinking back that they are Androids so god knows how many times she had to do it.

2B: Kh ... ngh ... (Unable to bear it, 2B begins to cry.) Pod 153: Pod 153 to 2E. Pod 153: Proposal: Delete 9S's personal data and reinstall default personal data. 2B: This is ... too much ...

And :D

2B: No ... Enough already ... Pod 153: Proposal: Unit 2B should carry out her assignment. (The sound of a heartbeat stopping, and a flatline's beep.) 2B: I don't want to kill him anymore ...

But also :D

Pod 153: The Commander has already denied the mission cancellation request submitted 64 hours ago. (The sound of a heartbeat stopping, and a flatline's beep.) 2B: Why ... do I have to ... Pod 153: Unit 2B was chosen due to her ability to adapt to harsh environments as well as her combat capabilities. 2B: I'm not suited for this mission at all ... Pod 153: Negative. 2B: Someone ... help me ...

When the first route starts, you get to eliminate a target which ends up requiring 9S’s help, they are very formal / military-ish while talking then, but as it goes, 9S gets more :D with her as in.

9S: You know, ma’am. I’m glad you are here. 2B: Why? 9S: Scanners like me mostly work alone. Scouting enemy lines and all that? I don’t usually get a partner. It’s kind of fun! 2B: ...Emotions are prohibited.

This is something that I ended up wondering the first time I played it, because 9S at first is very friendly and excited to have a companion in a mission, and in general just very warm towards 2B while 2B is big ol’ “Emotions are prohibited” and tries to brush him off / don’t really care about his attempts on trying to be more intimate? with her.

9S: Hey, 2B? 2B: Yes? 9S: People that know me well usually call me Nines, so... 2B: ... Oh. 9S: So... What do you think? 2B: Of? 9S: I mean, if you wanna call me Nines, it’s totally okay. 2B: ... I’m good. 9S: Oh, um... Alright...

gently I’m not crying you are crying So because of the nature of their relationship, and because 2B knew the truth, and knew that she’d have to kill him again sooner or later.

9S: Watch out for hostile enemies, 2B. 2B: Roger that, Nine...ze. 9S: Huh!? Wait, what did you just say!? 2B: Roger that, 9S. 9S: Wait, no! That’s not what you said! You said “Nines”! Or at least something close to — 2B: Cut the chatter, and engage the enemy.

So her acting like this was a way to try and shield herself and not get attached once more and get hurt again when she has to kill him, but thinking through the game after you learn the truth about 2E, you look back on all the way she acts and how thorn she was through all of it and just pain.

2B: From the moment 9S gains illegal access within the Bunker, it becomes my duty to carry out his execution. 2B: It's a duty that I must repeat ... over, and over ... without end. 9S: I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel something special towards 2B. 9S: But that sort of thing isn't allowed for us YoRHa troops. (2B, with a hint of pain in her voice.) 2B: Over and over ... I continue to kill 9S with my own hands. 2B: And every time, it feels like a void within me deepens. 2B: I wonder ... if it's okay for me to hope ... 9S: For the day ... 2B: For the day ... 2B and 9S: When my sins can be forgiven.

And with things like this, how Weight of the World applies to it like,

I feel like I'm losing hope. In my body and my soul And the sky, it looks so ominous. And as time comes to a halt. Silence starts to overflow My cries are inconspicuous

2B was going through this for many, many years. iirc she, along with 9S. were the first androids to be properly made - where during her first time as 2B she already had to kill 9S for killing their creator. 2B was always at the price of either killing 9S, or letting all that she knew - all of YoRHa - fall. All the Androids, and possibly even the war against the machines before they knew that there was no proper war going on anymore.

Cause we're going to shout it loud Even if our words seem meaningless It's like I'm carrying the weight of the world

So by killing 9S, 2B was avoiding the truth and end of YoRHa every time - while fighting machines that mostly wanted to wipe Androids too. She was fighting against both sides, while often being confronted with the fact that some Machines felt things too and didn’t even want to fight or were harmful at all, but she was still a soldier.

I wish that someway, somehow That I can save every one of us But the truth is that I'm only one girl

This wasn’t just about her and 9S, cause not killing him would lowkey just be treason, but saving all the YoRHa androids of this fate and lies behind it, and all the other common androids from also YoRHa’s fall and machines, /and/ the machine lifeforms that weren’t connected to their network and had a mind of their own. Because she knew the truth behind all of it and still couldn’t do a thing to even save herself or the most important person to her.

Maybe if I keep believing my dreams will come to life

I’m not even gonna get too much into the philosofical side Automata and how we see both androids and machine question things like their existence, reason and God™️

This is my redemption song I need you more than ever right now Can you hear me now?

But overall I think every one in this game suffers a whole fucking lot but I think none of them had it as hard as 2B, and by the end of the last route, when she finally dies due to a contamination spreading through all of YoRHa units. She meets A2 by the end, and offers her own sword to A2 - so she can keep 2B’s memories, and also end her before she goes corrupt by the contamination.

2B: Guess... This is it... (2B stabs the ground with her sword, offering it to A2.) 2B: These are... my memories. 2B: Take care of everyone for me... 2B: Take care... of the future... A2...

So yeah, 2B just wanted everyone to be good and nice and safe, and she couldn’t do that. She couldn’t save them, nor herself after trying to repair herself from the virus that was destroying her mind. She puts it on A2, the renegade YoRHa android and someone who knew all the shit behind YoRHa, that wouldn’t end up falling back on the cycle that was between those two. She honors what 2B asked of her, and proceeds to end her before she gets fully corrupted - while 9S is running to try and find 2B.

(A2 takes 2B’s sword, and proceeds to stab her with it.) 9S: 2B! 2B! 9S: 2B! Are you— (A wide, white sword penetrates 2B's stomach. As delicate, red blood drips down her.) 2B: Oh... Nines... 9S: This can’t... 2B... No... 9S: —A2! I’ll kill you!

:^) I’m not crying you are crying. This proceeds to 9S getting full blinded by rage and spending the rest of this route trying to kill A2 even though A2 is just trying to keep her promise with 2B, and try to save everyone, including 9S. This got into a biG RAMBLE SO I’m stopping here but *waggles hands* this and like, when you hear the chorus version of Weight of the World as if it’s all YoRHa singing, or when I got to hear the XIV version of it in the raid?? just watch how hARD I CAN CRY. Cause if this wasn’t painful enough, I’ll just leave this final bit here, when 9S finds a recording of 2B after she died.

2B: This is YoRHa unit 2B... 2B: If anyone’s listening to this, there’s something I need you to do. 2B: If you ever meet up with YoRHa unit 9S... 2B: I want him... I mean... 2B: I’m sorry. Please, just give him the following message: 2B: 9S... the time I was able to spend with you... It was like memories of pure light... Thank you... Nine...s.

[mego42]

Writer Asks

Tagged by @sothischickshe, @bourbon-ontherocks and @medievalraven who are all v lovely and for reasons unknown to me, want me to ramble about my fic so like, blame them for this I guess

Tagging @fairhairedkings, @riosnecktattoo, @inyoursheets, @foxmagpie, @pynkhues if you feel like it

ao3 name: ms_scarlet (origin story no one asked for: I came up with it for a creative writing class where we had to submit everything under pseudonyms for anonymous full class critique, which was gr9 and not at all traumatic, and I was deeply obsessed with both the Grateful Dead and Sublime versions of Scarlet Begonias at the time)

fandoms: the only fandoms I’ve written fic for are bellarke/t100 and Good Girls (and Buffy but it was way back in the day, pre-organized archives and has been completely lost to time which is For The Best)

number of fics: 14 (lol, 5 over the course 3 years in t100 fandom and 9 since joining the GG fandom at the beginning of s3, you could say I have been inspired)

fic i spent the most time on: a song inside the halls of the dark for sure, it’s the first multi chapter I’ve ever done and I’m far enough into it that I will be super honest, I was extremely dubious over whether or not I’d actually see it through when I started but huzzah! It’s happening. But yeah, I spend like, a lot of time thinking about it, writing it (lmao obvs), rewatching clips of the show to pick apart characterization and mannerisms, etc, etc. I try to work on it in some capacity every day (sometimes that just means outlining or deleting chunks of my outline and crying about how much I hate myself) to keep up momentum so yeah, def that one.

As far as one shots go, there’s blood in my body (I’m holding on) for bellarke, I think I spent a month, maybe 6 weeks working on that

fic i spent the least amount of time on: as the world turns, the blunt burns, I was doing my usual lazy Saturday morning scroll through Tumblr before I got out of bed and saw a post like I want beth and mick to get high together (I would love to give credit but I haven’t the foggiest notion who said it, I wasn’t intending to write it so I didn’t pay too much attention, I’m the worst, I’m sorry) and then some dialogue popped into my head maybe 10 min later and I think I wrote the whole thing in like, 45 min on my phone. Cannot emphasize enough how little I thought about it (or proofed it tbh, yikes, so many typos) before posting

most hits: overall, I’ve Got You Here my t100 post s3, alt s4 thing. For Good Girls, a song inside the halls of the dark

most kudos: overall, there’s blood in my body (I’m holding on) - bellarke modern au. For GG, still song.

most comment threads:  a song inside the halls of the dark by a M I L E (it twice as many as blood, the next highest), the GG fandom is so lovely and supportive and friendly and I love you guys, I really do

most bookmarks: same as kudos, blood overall and then song for GG

highest total word count: lol song is killing it

favorite fic i wrote: oh man, that’s hard. I love them all for different reasons. Blood was my first ever AU (I am a canon/canon-divergent ho) and it also deals with some stuff that’s important to me so that’s always going to have a special place in my heart. I’ve Got You Here was the first time I tried to tackle something bigger than a missing scene or short one-shot so that’s also significant.

I’m really proud of smoke, fire, it’s all going up because I think I did a p good job with the Rio POV there. I’d give her a HA! And a HI-YA! is special bc it’s my first outside POV and it was based on so little info it was basically OC, so that was a fun challenge.

All of that said, obviously, a song inside the halls in the dark is my fav. It’s been the biggest stretch of my skills (I had NO! IDEA! If I could plot and pace on the level required to sustain the fic I’d originally outlined and it’s only grown from there tbh), it’s also been like, the loveliest experience? I keep saying people’s reaction to it has broken my brain and I’m not actually just saying that. I’m deeply overwhelmed. And last but emphatically not least, it’s how I’ve gotten to know @nickmillerscaulk who, on top of being an incredible editor (seriously y’all, she is Skilled, I’ve learned so much from her), is such an awesome, amazing person and I’m so very glad we’ve become friends.

fic i want to rewrite/expand on: Oh man, idk. Pills N Potions is the easiest because it’s a prompt collection! Send me prompts! I can’t promise I’ll write them right away (my ADHD is so very real and only dubiously under my control during quarantine, so I live in constant terror of losing the thread of song especially this close to the end) but I def want to flex my quick and dirty short fic for funsies skills. I’m super looking forward to @goodgirlsficrecs prompt-a-thon.

share a bit of a wip or story idea you’re working on: ahahaha oh man, my google drive is littered with partially drafted or outlined ideas. I have a bunch of missing scene things I started at various points in s3 that are realistically dead in the water.

In terms of WIP/ideas I’m still intending to work on/finish:

A post 311 Rio POV pwp

A fishing/fencing/flute playing fluff for @medievalraven because I keep taunting her with my tags for song

The Good Guys (Rio, JT and Stan) thing that snowballed in a post way back when from @jazillia007, @nickmillerscaulk, and @inyoursheets

I still low-key want to do the transcripts for the Mick, Annie and Ruby group chat. I might save that for whenever I rewatch and have it running concurrently to s3, idk we’ll see

A Jewel Thief AU that I am wildly hyped about. I outlined the first chapter of it around when I started posting song and haven’t let myself do anything with it because I know once I get started I’m going to abandon whatever else I’m working on

More Annie POV, I don’t have any specific ideas, I just really love writing Annie POV

[avelera]

Oof, ok, I deleted about 500 words from near the end of the night of writing last night, just some back and forth between Nicky and Joe that didn’t quite take it in any direction I wanted to go in and wasn’t good enough to feel bad about cutting. 

The bit about “how they met” was left in though because it really is the event I think Crusader Nicky would have the most connection to and want to know the most about. After all, he saw the beginning of their fight he just doesn’t know how it ended or anything after he died the first time. 

He’s also curious about stuff like what was Joe thinking about HIM that day, like he noticed Joe up on the wall, did Joe notice him? (Crusader Nicky had a crush even if it was one of those crushes where you think you hate the other person because you just FEEL so much around them, and Joe is finding it secretly endearing as hell that this murderous knight version of Nicky is so obviously asking if Joe liked him back without seeming to realize that what he felt for Joe was a crush). 

(Below the cut is a bunch of rambling as I work through how to write an emotional climax for this story that isn’t just a giant info dump so we can go from there to the physical climax of the story.)

But then the next thing I realized I need to do is come up with my own timeline of how they ended up together. Obviously there’s a lot of great takes out there, but I want one unique to this story. I don’t want them to have stopped being enemies right away, because there has to be a legit reason for Joe to be scared when Nicky forgets everything, they didn’t just run away together off the battlefield or otherwise it would be tragic  to lose 900 years of Nicky’s memory but at least they’d still be in love. 

No, what Joe is staring down the barrel of is decades of winning Nicky back based on their first time, at best, and that was with a path to them ending up together that was so unlikely and complicated that he’s genuinely scared that it might be impossible to replicate. 

Like, they were both 30-somethings when they met, on either side of the same war. Sure there were a lot of differences but also a lot of similarities between where they were in life. Now he’s 900+ years old and has an immortal’s perspective on the world while Nicky is 33 and a religious fanatic. If Nicky doesn’t get his memory back, how the heck are they going to have anything in common anymore? Will it even be possible to rebuild? And if they can, will it take another 50 years for Nicky to go through the personal journey needed to be someone who could love Joe back?

Now, the 50 years number was a little bit random, and if I come up with a better timeline I’m not against subbing it out. Right now, though, I’m trying to figure out what 50 years means against the wider backdrop of the Crusades 1-3. 50 years is about how long it was before the Second Crusade, which was a disaster for the Europeans, was called. So I’m kinda seeing a version of events where Nicky:

1) was horrified by the sack of Jerusalem and felt the need to do penance by staying in the Holy Land (and sending word back to his family that he’d died there, which isn’t actually a lie) 

2) He was there for the founding of the Crusader States and feels some responsibility to make this new Christian Jerusalem work and maybe not repeat the sins of its founding but 

3) as time goes on and the Crusader States get more political and less spiritual, he gradually loses his investment in making them work as a state institution and is really only interested in preserving the safety of pilgrims in the Holy Land, which is after all the people he SET OUT to protect. 

4) So when he hears that the Second Crusade is being called he’s just fucking DONE with EVERYTHING. Europeans fucked this whole thing up and it sounds like it’s just going to happen AGAIN, so he goes rogue and just becomes this sort of reverse highwayman with no allegiance to anyone who protects travelers and pilgrims.

5) Throughout all of this, Joe has been on the Fatimid side of the conflict, fighting the good fight against the Franks and the Turks, occasionally reinventing himself when it becomes clear he doesn’t age (there’s definitely a version of events that could exist where his first 50 years is ALSO immensely complicated, but I’m not sure it serves THIS particular story). 

But the whole time, he and Nicky just keep RUNNING INTO each other. It’s like Coyote and Roadrunner, he just can’t get AWAY from this guy! - Which is kind of my “oh yeah this fic was supposed to be a comedy” way of explaining their enemies-to-lovers arc. So by the time he encounters reverse-highwayman Nicky he’s just like, “I can’t NOT bring him home, look at him, he’s disgusting and hasn’t bathed in weeks and has no idea how to live outside a city but bless him he’s trying for his own crazy moral reasons.”

That’s what I was up to, but I kinda realized in the process what was really happening: Nicky’s redemption arc. Joe couldn’t realistically forgive this guy until Nicky hit rock bottom in not forgiving himself for being an invader. With him becoming a smelly vagrant after being a shiny murderous knight, we’ve finally had his whole arc from actual villain to former villain who has put in the work towards his own redemption.

Now, Nicky’s not just going to switch sides immediately and join the Fatimids, he still has some loyalty left to his side, but that does come eventually (with Saladin, my history crush is showing, he just seems like someone Nicky and Joe would work with idk). So you’ve got this couple decades in the middle I guess where Joe is still on the Fatimid side but Nicky is a free agent? Then after Saladin dies, they both leave the Holy Land because they’re so DONE with the constant fighting and also it’s been 100 years and the conflict is beginning to look less like anything that was happening when they were still mortal? None of this is really in the fic it’s just a rough sketch I keep in my head for what Joe knows about the first 100 years of his and Nicky’s immortality. 

But to pivot this SOMEHOW to flirty/sexy times, I gotta get them on the topic of like, when did we stop killing each other and start making out, because without the war hanging over them Crusader Nicky is very curious about the making out part. So I guess... probably what happened is yeah, Joe took Nicky in because the poor guy was pathetic and also there was this crackling sexual tension they’d had on the battlefield, and also Nicky has clearly hit rock bottom and done literally 50 years of penance so maybe he really is sorry. I don’t think Nicky showered and they just immediately jumped into bed, but I can see another fic where there was crackling sexual tension in Yusuf’s home that was frankly unbearable before it finally broke a few weeks or months later.

OR, I could see a version where they’d had sex before, after a battle, but still parted ways so that’s kind of crackling between them too (maybe it was even more than once) but this living together thing is a whole new level of “let’s give this a shot without stabbing each other for once, hmm?”

Hmm, much to think about. 

[nighting-gale17]

Rollercoaster

This is dedicated to the discord, for making me write this sad thing.

In this AU, Buck has been homeless since he joined the 118, struggling to send his money to his sister so she’s able to escape her good for nothing abusive husband. It was fun to write, but be warned, I was half asleep and we were fihgitng over popsicles so it’s not my best work.

Might delete later idk.

Here’s the link, but I also have the whole story under the cut:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19197472

“Come on, Bobby,” Buck pleaded, walking backwards in pace with Bobby as the older man walked in the station house. “I know you need the help with that shift since Tommy called off, man, just let me work.”

“No, Buck, and that’s final.” Bobby blew out an aggravated breath, stopping in his tracks and eyeing Buck critically. “You’ll be working a thirty six hour shift before that one and if you took it, that would be close to seventy two hours straight. No, not happening, out of the question.”

Buck clenched his jaw, searing for an argument in his head. He knew Bobby was right, he was already exhausted now anyway, he’d barely be standing on his feet if he took that shift but—he needed the money. And it was a night shift, which meant he wouldn’t have to find a place to sleep for the night. “Bobby—”

“No, Buck.” Bobby cut him off before he could even start talking. “I’m not changing my mind about this.” he was silent for a moment, his expression of annoyance turning into one of slight concern and his tone softened. “Why do you need this so much?”

“Whatever,” Buck scoffed lowly, turning on his heel away from the conversation with his hand shoved in his back pockets. He wasn’t about to have that conversation with anyone, least of all Bobby. He knew what he was doing. He knew the sacrifices he was making and he didn’t regret a single one.

Taking the stairs two at a time, Buck grabbed his duffle bag from where he’d left it laying on the couch. He gave the kitchen a second glance, hesitating when his eyes lingered on the fridge. It��d been a while since the last time he’d had something to eat—their lunch had been interrupted and they never got around to eating it with the back to back calls they had—and breakfast early this morning seemed like years ago to his cramping stomach.

His pay check had just come in, though, and he needed to transfer it to Maddie’s account but maybe he could keep a little to get a nice meal—

Buck gritted his teeth and forcedly shoved the thought from his mind, berating himself for even letting it worm into his head. Flashes of bruises and scars and hospitals visits flashed through Buck’s head and he sighed, reluctantly heading towards the fridge. Maddie needed that money a lot more than he did. He'd be fine, he thought as he grabbed one of the pre-made sandwiches from the fridge.  This would hold him over until his next shift in sixteen hours, it was selfish to even think about keeping it for himself when Maddie was literally fighting to survive locked up on that house.

His hunger wasn’t a big deal. He'd be fine, especially with this sandwich.

Closing the fridge door with his foot, Buck was about to take a huge bite of the sandwich when he heard Chimney’s voice behind him, “Yo, man, you’re eating again? Better watch it there, pal, might find yourself with a little extra padding.” he teased as he walked past Buck, patting him on the stomach as he headed towards the lounge.

Any hunger he did have vanished with that comment, and Chimney was teasing, Buck knew he didn’t mean anything by it, but… he glanced self-consciously down at his stomach and grimaced, slowly lowering the sandwich back onto the counter. His eating habits hadn’t been the greatest since he started funneling all of his money towards Maddie, not that they were ever great to begin with, but they were at least kind of healthy. Now, the only food that he got that wasn’t fast food was the food he got when Bobby cooked. Apparently, he wasn’t the only one who saw the difference that was putting on his body.

Hiking his duffle on his shoulder, But quickly ducked out of the station house, leaving the sandwich abandoned on the table behind him.

If he hurried, maybe he could grab a spot at the shelter downtown before it filled up.

xxx

He didn’t get to the shelter in time.

His night was instead spent aimlessly driving around all night until the library opened and he was able to hide out there. He spent the time like he usually did, deciding to brush up on some of his literature this time around while he waited for the time to pass for his next shift. 

His hunger was easy to ignore after so long getting used to it, satisfying himself with the thought that Bobby will probably have a nice, warm meal ready for them when their shift started in a couple of hours. 

He was right.

Buck sneaked into the showers before he clocked into work, quickly slathering product through his hair to keep it slicked down before he, quite literally, bounced up the stairs where the meal and the rest of the team were waiting. It wasn’t quite anything special tonight, just some lasagna and a couple of side dishes but it was heaven to Buck, and he told Bobby as much.

“Man, I wish I could cook meals like this every day,” he said, with maybe just a touch of wistfulness to his tone.

“Not everyone can be a chef quite like Cap.” Hen agreed, misinterpreting his statement, but there was no way in hell Buck was about to correct her.

Yeah. He was totally talking about Bobby’s cooking skills, not just about having a kitchen to cook in. Because that would be suspicious. And suspicion meant people maybe started asking the wrong kind of right questions and Buck couldn't have them doing that right, not when he was so close to having enough to convince Maddie she would be safe and removed enough to get out of there.

“Is everything alright, Buck?” Bobby asked later after they were done eating and the two of them were washing the dishes while the others fought over control of the television.

Buck tried not to tense at the innocent question, but based on the sharp look in Bobby’s eyes he’s not sure he succeeded. “Yeah,” he said, casually as he could. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“You seem a little more tired than usual.” Bobby murmured, concern lacing his voice. “You keep asking about getting more shifts and don't think I haven't seen you sneaking into the showers before your shift starts.” he sighed, and Buck saw him put his plate down on the rack and turn towards him. “What’s going on, Buck? I’m worried about you.”

He could help, a small voice said in the back of his head. All of them would help. They would give you a bed to crash on. They’re family.

But that was the problem, wasn’t it? Buck’s never had good experience with family. He couldn’t see any situation where talking about this with his Captain would solve any of his problems. He still wouldn’t let him take more shifts and it’s not like he could just impose on him and Athena or anything, especially now that they were living together.

“I’m fine,” Buck said, smiling stiffly up at Bobby before resuming his furious scrubbing of the plate in the sink. “Everything’s fine.”

It’s not like he was completely exhausted all the time. Couldn’t remember the last time he had a decent sleep or a decent place to sleep. Had a hard time remembering what it felt like to be comfortably full—he was always either starving or stuffing himself because he didn’t know when his next meal was going to be. It’s not like his older sister was on the other side of the country, getting the shit beat out of her every night and making weekly trips to the hospital and there wasn't a single damned thing he could do about it—

A loud ‘crack’ broke him from his thoughts and he stared blankly at the sink in front of him. The plate he had been holding had shattered. Had he done that? 

“Shit, Buck,” Bobby cursed, quickly but gently reaching down and grabbing his hands and lifting them out of the pink water. “Don’t move.”

Bobby rushed off somewhere, but Buck wasn’t paying close attention. All he could focus on was the slow pattern the blood was making from the cuts on his hands down his wrists. It was captivating. Like watching a snake slither silently across the ground or watching a shark silently swim through the ocean. He’s seen a lot of those. Shark Week. Maddie used to love watching Shark Week with him. He was pretty sure she only watched it because of him, and he always loved those weeks, but then they didn't have them anymore because she was gone across the country and she left him and now she was dying—

He blinked as a soft white cloth wrapped around his hands, pulling him from where he had zoned out too. Bobby stood in front of him, his face lined with concentration as he gently tied up Buck’s hands in the white cloth and then wiped the blood off os his forearms.

“Sorry,” Buck muttered, suddenly remembering that this happened because he must have broken the plate. “I’ll pay for a new one.”

“Don’t.” Bobby shook his head, leading Buck over to the barstool at the counter and forcing him to sit down, his brown eyes were worried. “You can apologize by telling me what’s up with you.”

Buck hesitated, pressing his lips together in a tight line. He still wasn’t sure this was a good idea. “I’m just… stressed,” he said lamely, staring down at his hands fidgeting together in his lap.

“Stressed,” Bobby repeated, a little disbelievingly. “Come on, Buck. Listen, I’m your Captain, but,” he squeezed Buck’s wrist gently for emphasis, getting Buck to reluctantly look up into his gentle eyes. “You’re family. Let me help you.”

“I have a sister.” Buck began slowly, biting the inside of his cheek. “She’s on the other side of the country, stuck with an abusive asshole of a husband. I’ve been sending her almost all of my paycheck money to a separate bank account under her name.” he’s rambling now, but he can't stop. “I-I don’t have a choice, Bobby, I can’t just do nothing! He’s got such an iron grip on their finances she doesn’t have any of her own money to her name, all of it is under his, I’m the only chance she’s got to get out so I-I have to send her everything I have.”

Tears burned in his eyes, drinking down his cheeks as he felt himself begin to unravel. “I’ve almost got her enough money to get out of there, I just need a couple more paychecks and she’ll be able to leave but—I’m just so tired, Bobby.” Buck’s voice cracked slightly on his name, dropping his head into his hands. “She deserves so much more but I just don’t have enough. I’ve been trying to cut back where I can, but—”

“All you have to do is say something, Buck,” Bobby murmured comfortingly. “We can help you. you don’t have to work yourself down to the bone for this.”

Buck disagreed, after everything Maddie put herself through at their house before she ran away with Doug, she deserved so much more than he was able to give her. God, he couldn’t even pull his shit together enough to pay back even quarter of what he owes her. She raised him when his parents wanted to throw him out on the street. How does someone repay that?

“Come on,” Bobby said after a minute, wrapping an arm around Buck’s waist to get him on his feet. “Let’s get you back home, get some rest—some real rest— and then we can help you figure out how to help your sister.”

“Home?” Buck asked, confused as he stopped in his tracks and looked at Bobby. What home? He had no home, no place to live. And besides, he couldn’t just leave, he was in the middle of a shift!

“Yeah, back to your apartment, or are you still staying in Abby’s old place?” Bobby questioned, looking all for the world like he was about to get in his car and drive Buck back to a place that didn't exist.

“Bobby I—” Please don't make him say it. “I told you, all of my paychecks are going towards my sister. I have to help her.”

He could see the moment everything connected in Bobby’s head and he had to look away so he wouldn’t see the pity and several other emotions in those eyes that he didn't deserve. He couldn’t even take care of his sister. He doesn’t deserve any go the things Bobby is looking at him with right now.

“I’m fine,” Buck said quietly, wincing slightly as he clasped his hands together tightly. “Really. I’ve been in worse situations, it’s not the end of the world.”

“I think…” Bobby said slowly, softly, like he was talking to a cornered animal. “You should come home with me, have a bed to sleep on, and we can talk to Athena about helping your sister.” 

“Why?” Buck muttered, chancing a glance up. “It’s not going to change anything. The police can’t help her.”

“Maybe not,” Bobby allowed, placing his hands on Buck’s shoulder’s and staring at him intently. “But we can help you. Right now, you need to be your priority. You won’t be able to help your sister if you collapse from exhaustion before then.”

Buck wanted to argue. But he knew that look in Bobby’s eyes. He’s seen it in work, and it’s been used on him more times than he can even begin to count. He knew there was no getting out of this and… he wasn’t really sure he wanted to. Of course, it was humiliating that someone knew he was homeless, his cheeks burned at the very thought. But this was Bobby.

Family, right?

“Okay,” Buck relented, ignoring the way Bobby’s relieved smile made his chest warm up. The thought of a bed and food was too nice to pass up, and he was exhausted. “Thank you.”

“Anything for family, Buck,” Bobby said, throwing an arm over his shoulders and guiding him out of the station. “Anything.”

[richiardtozier]

theatre nerd Richie Tozier part 2

// if this looks familiar it’s because i had already posted this as part of a longer post, but that post got deleted so i decided to redo it a little as its own thing bc why not idk i just love the idea of richie being a part of the drama club okay

 part 2 of this

* so richie got the part of danny zuko in derry high school’s production of Grease

*  and almost a month later, on opening night, Richie is pacing backstage

* He’s uncharacteristically nervous

* His friends come backstage to wish him luck and he puts on a brave face

* He doesn’t fool Eddie though

* When the others go to their seats, Eddie stays behind

* “Alright, what’s wrong?”

* “What do you mean, Eds? I’m right as rain can’t ya tell?”

* “Richie, you look like you’re about to pass out”

* “Shit, Eddie, I don’t know. What if I screw it up?”

* “There’s no way. You’re amazing, Rich and you’ve been practicing for a whole month. Not to mention you’ve seen the movie about a million times. You have this.”

* “Aw thanks, Eds. You always know what to say”

* Richie pulls him into a headlock and ruffles his hair all up

* Eddie should’ve known Richie couldn’t be serious for more than a second

* He can’t help but laugh anyway

* “Before I go… um… I brought you something”

* Richie watches Eddie, confused, as he runs behind the door and comes back with bouquet of flowers

* For the first time in his life Richie has a hard time speaking

* He does anyway though

* “You got me flowers?” is all he can seem to say

* Eddie can feel himself blush with embarrassment

* “Oh well.. yeah… I did, but uh… it’s fine if you don’t want them. I know it’s too much. that’s why I hid them behind the door I didn’t want you to see them and Bev told me I should just give them to you, but I didn’t want you feel weird, but I changed my mind I guess because that’s what people do for actors, right? bring them flowers before they perform? I think I saw that in a movie or something i don’t know maybe they’ll bring you good luck or something? I’m sorry you don’t have to take them it’s stupid I know I’ll just take them back-”

* His rambling is interrupted when he feels Richie’s lips collide with his own

* He kisses back with no hesitation

* Richie’s lips are kind of chapped and he almost wants to make a comment about germs and how he doesn’t know where Richie’s mouth has been but he doesn’t because for some reason this just feels right

* As soon as they both pull away the drama teacher comes around the corner

* “What are you still doing in here??!! Curtains are up in 5 minutes!! Get out here, Tozier!!”

* Richie is breathless when he says “I guess I gotta go”

* Eddie is smiling when he says “break a leg, Mr. Zuko.”

* Eddie walks to his seat in the front row with the rest of his friends.

* They can all see how flushed his face is

* They’re all smirking at him

* “All of you shut up”

* “We didn’t even say anything”

* “Shhh the show is starting”

* Obviously Richie absolutely kills it and he’s the best damn Danny Zuko the school has ever seen

* At the end he gives another dramatic bow and he can see all his friends giving him a standing ovation

* And he can hear them yelling his name and cheering him on

* He may or may not have cried a little

* They take him out for milkshakes to celebrate

* Eddie and Richie keep stealing glances at each other from across the table the whole time with small smiles on their faces

* “G-guys… seriously. are you b-b-both really gonna pretend that none of us know that you were making out backstage?”

* They both turn bright red

* Everyone else laughs

* Richie and Eddie eventually join in

* Because these are their friends and there’s no reason to feel embarrassed in front of them

* The rest of the losers can’t really say they’re surprised

* They all had bets going on how long it would take them to finally get together

* “Ha! Beverly Marsh is the winner. You all owe me five bucks”

* “Gambling can become addictive, Beverly. You shouldn’t do that.”

* “Shut up, Eddie”

* When the night finally comes to an end they all go their separate ways home

* Except for Richie, who offers to walk Eddie to his house.

* They hold hands the whole way

* Richie also makes terrible Grease jokes the whole way

* “I know the chemistry I had with Sandy was pretty convincing, but don’t worry Eddie Spaghetti. I’ll always be hopelessly devoted to you.”

* “You’re an idiot”

* “I’m serious. Don’t worry about her. You’re the one that I want.”

* “I want you too, you giant dork”

* Richie doesn’t think he’s ever been this happy or smiled this big in his entire life

* They share their second kiss of the night.

* Richie ends up staying the night

* He goes to sleep, laying comfortably in Eddie’s bed, holding his hand

* Sure, he’s glad his friends convinced him to do the musical

* He finally feels that sense of belonging that he had wanted so badly

* But he realizes that he didn’t need to join a club to feel special

* He belonged to Eddie

* And that was enough

[agirldying]

hi, i’m spiralling atm and honestly don’t know what to do. everything feels like a mistake. every single thing. the name i go by away from family, my goals and hopes, everything. i feel i’m making a big mistake and i’m spiralling so badly. i’ve tried dbt skills to help it slow down but it isn’t. it is only getting worst. i’m tempted to delete media’s and just drop off the face of the internet and world. but at the same time it’s things like your blog being a safe place that keeps me here. idk why i’m sending this. maybe in hopes of being understood or that i am too tired explaining myself to my ‘friends’ and i just want to be understood and heard. or it’s simply my hands are too shaky to hold a pen to write this all. idk what to do. i really done. last night i thought of so many desires i want and things i want to do, i was hopeful of starting to go after these small dreams, even start to understand myself and my story as it’s all blurry. but now i don’t even want to exist to anyone and feel i need to start over because i’m a mistake. what i have done and decided is wrong and i need to follow their wants for me. idk nothing makes sense and my heart aches. sorry for such a long ramble

Hey anon,

You are heard, seen, and cared about.

If you ever find yourself in a moment of crisis, do consider reaching out to 741-741 (you can also text this hotline) or calling 9-1-1; I can't guarantee that I'll get back to inboxes within the time you're in crisis. Do know that I appreciate you reaching out to me, that you shouldn't feel like you can't come to me about something, but that my response might be later than you need.

I especially tend to read asks over more than twice just to make sure I understand everything clearly, so I do end up taking a while to respond to longer asks. I just want to make sure that you do what's best for you in a time of crisis.

Anyways, with that little bit out of the way:

Everything about you is where it's supposed to be - it's everything around you and the mold you're being forced to fit that's the problem; make it a rule for yourself not to let people stop you from living comfortably, whether that's changing your name, taking an internet break or heavily modifying the people you follow or the content you see, or even expecting better communication and honesty with your friends. Those are all reasonable things. Even still, you don't need a reason for the things you do.

We don't know for sure if we have more than just this life to live, so you might want to make the most of what you have now and do what your heart desires despite the judgement or criticism of other people. I know it's definitely easier said than done, though - a lot about living comfortably is being surrounded by friends and relying on their feedback, but frankly it sounds like you need to do a spring cleaning with your friends list.

I don't know exactly what your hopes and dreams for the future are, but don't let people get to you and make you hesitate on your own plans. The plans are for you.