#IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY

[klayr-de-gall]

Eternal Sun

As you can see, the brainrot has taken over.

[cassiebones]

I was talking to somebody about how Agatha came about having Nicholas. His last name is Scratch, so maybe he did have a father who was initially involved in his life, but I'm pretty sure Agatha and Rio were in an established relationship by the time he came into their lives. Maybe they had a deal with a gay male couple and used a "donation" in exchange of the name being passed down. Maybe Agatha straight up stole a baby idk.

But I like the thought of Rio coming home one day, carrying an infant in her arms, a flabbergasted look on her face. Agatha asks (only somewhat jokingly) if she brought home dinner. She peers down at this fresh-out-the-oven infant in her wife's arms. The kid is kinda cute.

Rio tells her that there was a teenage girl, a witch, who'd gotten pregnant. She told nobody about it, ashamed of herself, and then went out in the middle of the woods to give birth, where nobody could see her, hoping to put it all behind her, including the baby.

Agatha's heart aches at that, looking down at the abandoned newborn. She asks if she belonged to a coven, but Rio shrugs and says, "not anymore. She's dead. Died from hard labor. The fact that this little one survived is a miracle." She looks down at the baby and he lets out a little noise, content in her arms.

"Did you reap her?" Agatha asks, still looking at this child. His eyes are half-lidded, but she can see some murky blue. He's a handsome little guy.

Rio nods. "She was pretty talkative, too," she says. "Begging forgiveness for her sins, for me to take her son, for me to bring him somewhere safe."

"And you brought him here?" Agatha snorts, as if it's ridiculous.

"I couldn't imagine a safer place," Rio responds, honestly. "I mean, I could just have left him out there to die in the woods, but I hate ferrying young souls; they have no good stories to tell."

Agatha snorts at that. "Well how are we going to keep him alive?" She asks, taking him gently from Rio's arms and cradling him against her chest. "What do babies even eat?"

"Milk," Rio says, eyeing Agatha's chest.

"These are empty," Agatha says, turning away. "And they shall stay that way. Go get him some goat's milk or something. And STOP looking at me like that."

Rio's gaze is hungry, her tongue slipping out to wet her lips.

"Cariña," Agatha says, using the pet name sure to get Rio's attention. It is, after all, one of, like, twenty spanish words she's been taught. The others are not appropriate in this situation. "Go get the baby something to eat, lest you WILL be ferrying him into the next life before long."

Rio rolls her eyes and disappears with a snap. She comes back a few moments later with a bottle full of milk. Agatha is impressed.

"That was quick."

"Our neighbors have a newborn who won't breastfeed. We should have a steady supply for a while."

"Mamí is a thief, isn't she, Nicky?"

Rio's face flushes. "Mamí?" She asks. "Nicky?"

Agatha flushes next. "Oh, right. Sorry. I should have asked. We never spoke of..." She looks down at the baby, who is suckling greedily at the bottle of milk. "We never discussed children, but I...well, as long as we have him." She shrugs, flushing more as Rio studies her. Then a smile spreads over Rio's face.

"Okay," she says, "I'm Mamí. Are you...Mama?"

Agatha shrugs. "We'll see how I do. I didn't exactly have the best role model when it came to mothering."

"You will be ten times the mother Evanora ever was," Rio huffs, spitting on her mother-in-law's name.

"Ten times zero is still zero," Agatha retorts.

"Math?!?" Rio gasps, exaggeratedly, "Methinks you a witch, madam!"

Agatha cackles as she brings their son to the couch, sitting carefully so as not to jostle his meal and cause him to choke.

"My wife is even witchier than I," she says, smiling up at Rio as she follows. Rio sits next to her and puts her arm around Agatha's shoulders and looks down at the baby in her arms.

"Why Nicky?" Rio asks after a long moment of just staring at this little being.

"After my father, Nicholas," Agatha explains. "If he even existed at all."

Rio furrows her brow at that and Agatha shrugs. "Mother said he died before I was born. She said it was because he was weak. I think he just couldn't stand living with her, anymore. She refused to give me his last name, too, so I became another Harkness. How fortunate for me."

"Very," Rio snorts. "You never spoke of your father."

"You never asked, Agatha points out, then sighs. "As far as I know, he never even existed. Mother didn't speak of him until I was nearly grown. Always about how my father would be so ashamed of me, how he would have killed me eons ago, about how I was weak, just like him." She gave Rio a sad smile. "At that point, I knew I couldn't trust her word, so I imagined my father as a sweet, romantic man. One who courted my mother with flowers and handmade jewelry. He was strong, physically, bringing her wood for the fire and good cuts of meat to keep her nourished. Why he loved my crone of a mother, I'll never understand, but I hope that he loved me. Even though we never met."

"I could find out for you," Rio offered. "Shouldn't take long."

Agatha smiled lovingly at her and leaned in to kiss her lips, sweetly, before pulling back.

"Some things," she says, "are just better left to the imagination. You know?"

Rio nods. "Okay," she says, quietly, clearing her throat. "So how about his last name then? Harkness or Vidal? Both? Vidarkness?" She waggles her eyebrows. "Sounds very...witchy."

Agatha laughs, a deep gutteral sound, but not meanly. She reaches for Rio's hand and brings it to her lips, kissing her fingers.

"Scratch," she says, "like my father. Nicholas Scratch."

"Good, strong name," Rio agrees, leaning forward to press her forehead against Agatha's. "Nicholas Scratch. Nicky." She turns her gaze to their son, who has let go of the bottle and is dozing in Agatha's arms now. "Welcome." She runs a finger down his downy cheek.

[mollywog]

I wish you would write a fic where Madge survives and ends up back in District Twelve with Katniss before Peeta comes home.

Thank you for playing @jomiddlemarch!!

I’ve actually written a little of a Never Hijacked Peeta idea for @thgcommentfeast that marginally fits this…

I was tickled by the idea of Gale begrudgingly agreeing to become a rescued-from-the-Quell-Peeta’s roommate in District 13… if sort of morphed into a Gadge concept, but anyways, hers a rough cut snippet…

Maybe she’d come back, and maybe she’d marry him, but he’d still have to live with the fact that he’d be second choice to a dead boy and what kind of victory was that?

So he told his mother he’d watch mandatory viewing at the Everdeens and he’d told the Everdeens he’d watch at home and instead he went to the Mayor's house.

He knew Madge was interested. He hadn’t missed the way she watched him when she thought he wasn’t paying attention. So when he showed up at her backdoor, she looked surprised, but didn't hesitate to sneak him up to her room.

They don’t touch at first, or really speak for that matter; Just watch the screen in silence.. until the alliance splits at the tree. He turns away as the star-crossed-lover’s share a parting kiss to find Madge watching him. Her eyes dart to his lips. He knows what she wants, who she wants, and it’s definitely not Peeta Mellark, so he leans in to kiss her. She reciprocates eagerly: soft and warm and smelling like honeysuckle. Better still, she’s kissing him as if he isn’t second best.

His face is buried in her neck, her hips rolling into his thigh when the shout of his friend’s name on the screen catches their attention. He unceremoniously leaps from the bed to perch in front of the screen.

It’s chaos.

He can feel Madge creep up to his right to get a better view, but doesn’t spare her a glance as the both watch intently.

The broadcast can’t keep up with the action. Katniss’s vitals are blank, but she’s still listed as active. If he doesn’t trust the reporting, it’s confirmed by the panicked cry’s for Peeta off screen. Shots alternate between everyone but her, until the camera finally finds her. She’s standing in plain view, bow tilted towards the sky rather than at the two targets in sight. Her arrow flies, trailed by a golden tendril. Then the lightning strikes and the screen goes blank.

“What has she done?” Madge says with a breathy laugh, her eyes wide in awe, but Gale doesn’t have a chance to question her, before the power cuts out.

Writing ask

[palmolli]

Y'all ever just write a crack fic that randomly turns into agnst without your permission, or is that just me?

[simarcana]

oc outfit 🌻 for Alika 👀

Dani don't understand what you made me create

[startledstoat]

Hc where Sirius signed every letter S.O.B. and he convinced little Reggie to start signing his stuff R.A.B. so that Sirius could deny that he was doing it just to be a little shit and then Reg never broke the habit

Or

He did start signing stuff Regulus Black once he and Sirius no longer got along and the letter to voldy was not only the last thing he signed ever but also the first thing he'd signed R.A.B. in years

(I swear this was supposed to be fucking funny but I can never let myself stay happy when it comes to the Black brothers)

[elemental-daddy-neos]

I lost someone for posting about boy pussy 😔

[norientus]

I'm watching the full monty series

It's got no right to make me feel like this.

One moment I'm laughing off my ass, next I'm crying like a magdalene. Fuck sake.

A story about a bunch of 60-year olds in bloody Britain shouldn't be making me feel all of this. But fuck it mate. I'm feeling it all the way.

[clingyduoapologist]

Hey man-

Honestly bro we don’t talk about how Wilbur thought doomsday was his explosion enough… like bro came back like “damn I really did a number on this place huh 😎” and then no one corrected him because like what would you say in that situation? “Oh hey sorry bro no ur massively important suicide bombing that you’ve defined your entire sense of self around was like fixed on a week. That hole was some other bitches sorry” literally c!tubbo deserves an award for not pushing him into the hole

[dewdropdraws]

He does this in the cave breakroom

[sunny-boooo]

I'm jumping off a bridge. Their backstory is so tragic, I can't.

The fact that even Queenie being in the state she was, Kinger still found humanity in her, the fact that he risked his life knowing she could go crazy and attack him just so he could touch her one last time.

And the fact that Queenie allowed him to do it, the fact that she was able to keep control as a abstracted just so she could feel him. Because she loved him and he loved her back and both of them knew her fate, but in that moment, it was just them, their last moment together so both made it work.

This is such a powerful image I want to hug both of them.

[mochasucculent]

Was looking at refs and since Viktor has two different leg braces I was wondering, do we think he wears them simultaneously?? The refs don't perfectly line up perspective-wise so it's hard to tell but parts of the one he wears during the Hexcore scenes look like they could maybe line up with the brace that he wears over his clothes, but also some parts really don't and look like they'd be super uncomfy. Also HOW does he take these on and off. Experts weigh in

[bixels]

Rewatched this scene from Disney's Robin Hood and knew what I had to do.

[acracana]

In Silver’s bday vignette he says that he doesn’t wash his face/wear makeup often and the other Diasomnia students say that they’re jealous since he doesn’t have to try to look good because he just does naturally

Bro starts sparkling when he finally combs his hair 😭. If he was real being near him would piss me off. He literally does absolutely nothing besides fix his bed head and light descends upon him like he’s god’s favorite creation

If he actually started giving a shit about his appearance he’d have too much power. They had to nerf him by making him too sleepy to ever give af

[friedri-ce]

ultrakiss

[himulrai]

never getting over the fact that tfp op literally pulls up with a GIANT MACHINE GUN AND NO ONE QUESTIONS IT??????

Orion Swap AU masterlist since this is technically in the AU