#If I want it badly enough then I'm going to make my health happen for my future children

[forwomenbiwomen]

please excuse me 😭🙏

[yanderemommabean]

Hey Beans-

Hey beans, I have a bit of a hellish update. 

Yesterday was one of the worst days of my life. My grandma made a huge fight happen while I was on call with a friend, and things just escalated between me and her so badly I had to leave. When I came back home, my family was also on my ass about it all, despite knowing how she lies and how she instigates. 

She threatened to hit me, she threatened to kill Sammy, she hurled insult after insult at me and this all started because I didn't get up in time to do something she asked (Which was locking the door. I waited three seconds too long and she went off). 

When I came back after trying to let things cool down I was berated and told I had no right to be so “selfish” in the house, so on and so on, and the fight got so intense I had to just physically walk away, leaving the home and going two miles up the road because I did not feel safe. 

They made me so sick I began to pee blood again, as well as my sugar spiking and causing me to have palpitations. My heart cannot take this stress anymore, and neither can my mental health. I wish I could explain how bad the situation was. I had tears down my face, gasping for air, chest heaving and in pain, I felt like I was on the verge of passing out. 

I got in contact with some good friends of mine, who say they can help get me out of not only that home, but the entire state i'm in. But I need money to do so, for travel and gas and so on. As much as they can house me, they need me to pull my weight. 

I hate having to ask for help, I hate that I'm even in this situation, to the point I'm so sick I might have to be seen in the ER or sent to ICU. 

I need to come up with 700 dollars, and I'm willing to do some commissions, but with how sick I am I may take a bit to get back with you. I plan to leave by early June, if not the beginning of July, as that's when my friends are able to drive down and get me. 

Donations are greatly appreciated, even if you can only afford a single dollar, it’ll be more help than you know. 

If you’re wanting a commission, please don't send money and then ask, for your sake and mine. I’m incredibly overwhelmed, and I’ll do my best to get with you and explain rates. 

And if you’re willing to donate anything, here’s my Ko-fi link. 

Again, I can’t thank you enough for if you donate or even spread this post around, even well wishes mean the world to me because I know you beans care and want to help however you can.

This post was incredibly hard to make, I’m still all over the place and trying to figure everything out, so I apologize if this sounds like rambling and nonsense. There is a silver lining however, as I actually have a way out this time, and I pray I can get out before things can get worse.

-Mommabean 

[loganswdc]

the fact that logan got the upgrades only for the team to take them away because they apparently weren't working is so fucking frustrating. like ?? are you serious ?? how can the upgrades NOT BE WORKING ?? and they took them away so quickly , too , like maybe give him a chance to get acquainted to them ??? it's so fucking frustrating how shit logan's been getting treated recently .

i cannot defend this man any harder from the shit treatment he's been getting . like i am literally going to fucking war every day seeing people shit on him not realizing what is going on . and it's just getting worse and worse for him because williams won't even SAY they did that -- like i had to find out on twitter that logan told brazilian reporters about it . so of course the hate comments towards logan continue !!! and what does williams do ? JACK FUCKING SHIT IS WHAT . they're honestly destroying him and his mental health and i want to help him so badly but i can't nor do i know how to and it's making me want to rip my hair out .

it's also so crazy to me how people so easily hate on drivers , even if said driver is performing great . they downplay when he does do well saying it "isn't good enough" . he'll do amazing for an entire race but has a bad pit stop or locks up or something happens that messes things up for him and it's like the floodgates of hate comments open up . they can't see farther than what's up their ass because that's where their heads are shoved up . genuinely , how hard is it to just not comment about him . if you hate him , just ignore him !!! and show a little bit of compassion !! it's terrifying how easy it is for people to be hateful when they're hiding behind a screen . and i haven't seen williams do anything about it to defend him in any way , no matter how minuscule it is . it's so frustrating and my heart genuinely hurts for him .

logan sargeant you deserve better . i believe in you . i know you can do well if given the right chance instead of having it ripped away from you . i'm sorry .

hate comments towards logan will be removed because if you have the time to hate on him then you also have the time to do any of the following: research about him and his career especially concerning performance in f2 , f3 , etc. ; read the essays i wrote about logan a few posts ago ; research what is going on behind the scenes and what is being said to reporters about his situation in williams at the moment so that you understand why fans are upset about how he is being treated . and yes , he has been treated poorly recently even if his performance hasn't been the best . it's not difficult to be kind and keep scrolling if you read a post about a driver you are not a fan of !!

[velvetvexations]

that post going around talking about how a trans man and trans woman both got denied from a shelter and someone replied "at least you [the trans man] had the option even if it was denied" really makes me feel like some transradfems see trans men/mascs/trans people AFAB in general being forced to detransition as not as horrifying as trans women/fems/trans people AMAB being forced to detransition. like they can't wrap their heads around femininity being unwillingly forced on someone instead of being a desirable thing to strive for. like they think trans people AFAB are in possession of the femininity they want so badly, so to them a trans man being forced to detransition and present as a cis woman again isn't a result of transphobic violence, it's "retreating into a position of privilege". like we're dangling our AGAB over them or something.

it's genuinely just baffling to me because honestly, being 100% real with you, as a now-fully-transitioned trans man, i think i would genuinely rather die than detransition and live as a woman again. i've had actual nightmares about waking up as a teenager that looks like a girl again that made me cry. but that doesn't mean i hear about trans women/fems being forced to detransition and think of it as "a return to the masculinity i've been denied". forcing literally anyone, trans or not, to live as a gender they don't feel comfortable in is a disgusting, horrific, and violent act that i wouldn't even wish on the most virulently hateful individual i know, regardless of whether or not they were trans. living as a girl/woman made me fucking miserable, and the constant dysphoria was torture.

i just can't understand why some transradfems simply refuse to entertain the idea that a trans person who was AFAB being forced to detransition is not some gotcha moment that they can call us out for like we're mockingly waving our Inherent Femininity in the face of trans women and fems everywhere. this shit is an act of horrific transphobic violence against us. they can understand it'd be awful if it happened to THEM, of course, but not against trans people AFAB. can they really not understand the idea that femininity and womanhood isn't liberating for those who are unwillingly forced into it?

again, i'm a genderqueer trans guy, and i've found expressing my masculinity to be incredibly freeing and amazing for my mental health and overall well-being--but i know enough about gender dysphoria and the pain of toxic masculinity to understand why a trans person AMAB might not be able to find embracing masculinity liberating or enjoyable. it seems like a very basic concept to understand about fellow trans people. it's legitimately baffling to me that most transradfems can't seem to do the same.

but i guess when you've drank the radfem koolaid, you can't see masculinity as anything but evil and transgressive, so i probably shouldn't be so damn confused. 🤷‍♂️

God, that's so frustrating. They could detransition if they wanted to escape transphobic violence too, but they recognize why that's not generally an option. They're selfish nitwits who can't think outside of themselves for so much as five seconds.

[chaifootsteps]

honestly even Stolas' song about how he's gonna fix things and everything is going to be better is very focused on himself

I swore I wouldn't dwell on the divorce So for my own health, I'll remind myself -> why would he think about the divorce anyway? he never loved Stella or felt bad about cheating on her, at least not anymore

I'll believe him and not the voice that says I'm not enough -> I just want someone to love me and fix my self esteem

Stolas' interlude section -> his life has been hard, brief acknowledgement that how he treated Blitzo was monstrous (which Stolas will forget by the end of the episode because his brain is apparently a sieve)

He's worthy of your love and trust -> these are the lyrics according to a transcript, so I'm choosing to read this as 'I can trust Blitzo enough to be vulnerable with him' and not 'he's worthy' as in Stolas is positioning himself like his love and trust is some great gift

on its own this isn't terrible - like it's fine for characters to have some introspection about their own feelings in a number like this. Problem is Stolas doesn't mention Blitzo's feelings at all until the last line

Will it please him or will I just be fucking it all up?

Like just a tweak would've gone so far here. Have him try to empathize with Blitzo's perspective or loneliness. Have him say more than just 'is he freely with me or no?' but have him reflect on how Blitzo must have felt if the answer is no and how he's gonna try and make it up to him. He doesn't consider giving Blitzo any space at all between ending the arrangement and springing a confession on him

The problem with Stolas in a relationship is that he's not a giver, he's a taker. In the arrangement he was concerned with making Blitzo do all the work of pleasing him and in the relationship he wants to have all he really wants is Blitzo to love and want him. He doesn't show much care for who Blitzo is as a person outside of thinking he's funny and liking how good he is in bed. He says it right there in the trailer 'I want someone to care, I want someone to want me'

And that's understandable but it's not enough to sustain a relationship. We've barely seen Stolas care about Blitzo's life at all outside him wishing Blitzo the best with the business. Meanwhile Blitzo has been very enmeshed with Stolas' life, given he's met Via more than once and helped bail Stolas out of a mess he created when she ran off

Yeah, I noticed this too, and it's all painfully true. Stolas's half of the duet contains a few token mentions of Blitzo's well-being and how Stolas will respect his choice whatever it is (that don't mean anything because he abandons them the second Blitzo rejects him) and beyond that, it's all just about Stolas's feelings, Stolas's fears, and how badly Stolas needs this to happen because he anticipates it will fix everything wrong in his life.

A character like that written in full awareness can be masterful (see Frollo, Hal from Megamind.) In Vivzie's hands, with all her sympathies resting squarely with Stolas, it's flat out dangerous.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for going out if I don't have to?

Huge oversimplification, obviously. Basically, I'm disabled, in a way that makes it very difficult for me to keep up my hygiene (showering etc - I do wash my hands). I do my best, of course, and it's something I'm working on improving. But it's still nowhere near as good as it should be.

When I do have to go out, I try to use products to cover up any bad smell I may have, but I feel a huge amount of guilt for 'inflicting' said smell on other people. I know this might just be me being overdramatic, but it ends up with me trying to avoid going out if I don't absolutely have to.

The thing is, I /want/ to go out. Staying at home all the time is definitely not good for my mental health, and probably just piles on top of my other problems to make hygiene (among everything else I have trouble with) even harder. I want to go out and do things. I want to have fun and not just be stuck at home all the time outside of things I /have/ to do.

But I don't want to force people to have to deal with having to smell me, and that feels like it's technically 'more important', especially since the problem /is/ technically 'my fault'. WIBTA if I went out and did things around other people that I don't really have to, or should I wait until/unless I can fix my hygiene, regardless of how long that takes/if it ever happens?

If it matters, some extra pieces of info - my sense of smell got messed up by Covid, so I can't really tell if/how badly I smell, or if the products I use are enough to cover it up - I just have a constant fear that I do smell. Only a few people have commented on it in the past, and it hasn't happened in a while, but I don't know how much of that is just people trying to be polite.

Also, for the record, this is not bait or me seeking sympathy or anything like that. I genuinely want to know people's thoughts/verdict. Thank you!

[divinelolita]

ik u sleep but i gotta send this before i go to bed cuz its like 5am(almost six am)

ANYWAY

lemme um

lemme get sum headcannons(full band seperate) with a male reader who is a stripper(bro busting on them poles) and is kind of the type of stripper to wear more feminine outfits yk? cuz the club be needing that money fr

and ngl the band would prolly visit but literally hates it when reader got clients other than them

like bro wants reader to give em that lap dance like fuk r u doing😪🤞🏾

ofccc you can throw in obvious nsfw like???(bro u should know the positions we talk abt it like all the time😞)

and duhh u can add other ideas if u feel like it tf🙄

THE BAND X MALE STRIPPER

hii babe 🙈 ummm my cat was sitting on my lap while writing this so if there's typos no there's not 🤞 had to do research on this oml

BILL:

・oh god he loves watching you.

・He never really knew he'd have a thing for a person swinging their ass on a pole, but baby he fucking loves you.

・Just continuously looking you up and down

・He can't help but moan if you give him a lap dance oml, holding a hand on your waist kinda guiding you 🤭

・You leaving soft kisses on his jaw and neck, moving your hips on him...

・He's so turned on WHATT...

・Gets jealous if you give others a lap dance or just feel 'em up

・He gets that it's your job but goddamn he's envious 😭

・hes paying for vip idgaf.

・He knows y'all can't have sex there but oh my god just being able to touch you more, running his hands up your back without anyone watching oh my GOD

TOM:

・teehee omg

・Seeing you all dressed up as you dance.. oh my god that's all he needed.

・He's throwing MONEY at you babe. I'm talking 20-50 dollar bills omg.

・getting a lap dance from you is like heaven to him.

・Can't keep his hands off you, rubbing down your waist and thighs. He knows he has to be careful but he can't resistttttt

・He'd get slightly possessive, glaring if you give another person a lap dance.

・He loves you too much..

・NAH HE'S BUYING VIP I DON'T GOTTA LIE

・Groping you, pulling you close as he rests his head in your neck, letting you work your magic 😋

・UGH he wanna fucks you so badly but he can't due to health risks and allat

GEORG:

・You got him wrapped around your finger babe.

・He feels his heart beat faster as he looks at you, not being able to take his eyes off you

・You were his bi-panic idgaf.

・Looking at him, touching his arm or some shit like that? Oh my god.

・He loves that shit 😻

・Getting a lap dance just makes him feel like he's dreaming.

・Having you right there infront of him while you look so damn good...

・Taking him to vip as you remove a layer of clothing (maybe it's a shirt, dress, vest, whatever!)? He's so turned on...

GUSTAV:

・He'd be a little shy at first

・Like oh my god... just looking in his eyes while your spinning? His knees buckle.

・If you give others a lap dance or just touch their arm he feels covetousness.

is that the right word omfg

・I feel like hes not very touchy when you give him a lap dance, he leans back and just watches you with a lustful look

・He loves the clothes you wear omggg

・Just seeing you wear anything makes him so nervous yet zealous

uhm he's paying for vip cuz this is MY story and I choose what happens 😇

・anyways..Just being there alone with you? that's enough to make him horny.

・Oh my god he can't help but grab you and pull you close

[historicity-was-already-taken]

I want to echo all the nice things people have said about your work, and add one more: I appreciate that your blog offers space to mourn the Holocaust. Not the Holocaust as a metaphor, not the Holocaust as a rhetorical invocation, but the Holocaust in and of itself. It provides a sobering kind of relief. When I was a kid learning about the Holocaust, my classes always showed me Life is Beautiful and The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas (UGH) and one teacher insisted that she wanted me to understand "how the Jews kicked Hitler's ass!" Which... no. On so many levels. So I admire how your work holds the dialectical truths of mass tragedy and brave resistance. Your scholarship matters, your mental health matters, and I can't wait to read your book next year!

This message is so lovely I was too verklempt to even answer it last night. Thank you, so much, for taking the time to write and send this.

And yes I totally get what you mean. It's not some, as you put it, rhetorical invocation populated by faceless martyrs, but the very real murders of millions of real, flawed, living, breathing humans. I think the rhetorical version, with its ideologies and hagiographies, is easier to swallow.

I hate most Holocaust movies. At least, American ones. They just want so badly for there to be a happy ending and...the Holocaust doesn't have one. [Unnamed legendary Jewish director] optioned the rights to [book similar in scope to mine which came out in the last 4 years] and I'm not even upset, because I don't enjoy that director's gentile-focused quasi-uplifting attempts to depict said events. Hitler said he was going to destroy the majority of European Jewry, and he did. In the space of 12 years he destroyed civilizations, cultures, and languages spanning 1000+ years; more, if you hold him responsible for the ethnic cleansing of MENA Jewish communities post-1948. Nothing uplifting there.

That's why I think I like weird, post-modern, magical realist approaches to Holocaust fiction [see: my boyfriend recently convinced me to watch Jojo Rabbit and Inglorious Basterds]. Telling any of these stories doesn't fit into Western narrative conventions. So make it weird; have the characters dance to David Bowie; make it a Western with subtitles; make the audience wonder if magic or just mundane in the specific context of the story. That's, imo, the only way to capture the sheer unreality of these very real events in fiction. I would LOVE a work of magical realist Holocaust fiction that involves the golem of Prague (if it exists omg tell me!) or something similar. Keeping in mind, of course, that I'm neither a film not a literary scholar. Just, as a historian who took one cultural criticism course in undergrad, those feels the most...right.

And oy your teacher. I feel for her; this is a difficult subject to teach. But...the Jews didn't kick Hitler's ass. That's the opposite of what happened. The Warsaw Ghetto Uprising is the most famous instance of organized Jewish resistance to the Holocaust, and those fighters only kicked ass until the Nazis (quickly) realized that they needed reinforcements and flamethrowers because oops these Jews came prepared. And even the fighters themselves knew that they weren't going to "win" anything. They were making a symbolic historical gesture/statement and fully expected to die. To the point that survivors almost uniformly express in their memoirs and testimonies that the ones who died fighting were the only real heroes and they rest of them are nbd, and this isn't something that should be talked about (which, is something that I'm trying to respect in my book! Like the fact that Zivia Lubetkin utterly rejected any attempt to describe her as a hero matters, even though that's how I personally view her).

Anyway I've rambled enough. Thank you again for the message!

[missvelvetsstuff]

With Friends Like You, Who Needs Enemies

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Reader is a mutant with the ability to turn sound into light who was 'adopted' aka stolen as a child by Baron Von Strucker to use for experimentation. She was given a form of the Super soldier serum so in addition to her mutant abilities she also has super strength, enhanced senses and healing. When he starts experimenting on his volunteers, the Maximoff twins, she tries to convince them to escape with her but they tell the Baron that she's planning to escape so he doubles her cell security. Steve and reader met when the team recovered Loki's scepter from Strucker.

She falls in love with Steve and becomes good friends with Nat but they aren't the friends she thinks they are.

Notes: this story is canon adjacent except that Thanos never happened.

I try to keep my readers description vague but, as always, she's female and above average height.

Chapter 8

Warnings: swearing, a little angst, a little fluff

The next morning Helen Cho examined Nat and gave her a clean bill of health. In her report to Tony she noted that Nats vision had likely returned weeks ago but she had rescheduled her appointments multiple times, confirming his belief that Nat was stringing them along.

When the room Nat had been living in was cleaned the maintenance worker brought a box of items that were left behind to Tony's office where he was having a quick lunch with Pepper.

As Pepper went through the few items, Nats bandages went in the trash, books returned to the library but a pair of blue boxer briefs caught her attention.

"Tony? Were these Natashas? They don't look like they would fit her."

Tony looked at the offending item curiously

"While I can't say for sure as I have no idea what she wears or what size, those don't look like they would fit her." He held them up to his waist and chuckled, "Don't look like mine, like I would ever wear some poly blend, but I have an idea."

He cleared his throat

"FRIDAY? Could you tell Rogers I need to speak with him when he has a moment?"

"Of course, Boss." The AI replied.

A few hours later Steve knocked on Tony's office door "What's up, Stark?"

Tony chuckled "Just working on a little mystery. Look familiar?" He picked the briefs and showed them to Steve whose eyes grew wide when he recognized them.

Steve turned red and stuttered nervously, unsure where this was going "oh uh yeah, th those are mine. They caught in the dryer or something?"

Tony smiled menacingly "Nope. They were in Romanoffs room. Any idea why that would be?"

Steve chuckled "I uh I don't know. I went to talk to her a couple of times, trying to understand her point of view but, I'm ugh I don't know."

Tony shook his head "You're A shit liar Rogers. Just come clean so I don't have to check the footage from her room."

Steve tried to bluff "What do you mean Stark? What are you trying to accuse me of?"

Tony looked him in the eye "Jesus, Steve are you really unable to admit you were still fucking her? After everything you both did, how badly you hurt Y/N and you still couldn't let her go? Must be some enchanted pussy."

Steve flinched "It's none of your business who I'm intimate with, Tony. She's gone so let it go."

Tony tsked "I don't really see it that way since she was a duplicitous bitch and your continued association speaks to your character. I need to know what else you've hidden from the team and I want your word that you will leave Y/N alone."

Steve shook his head "No. I'm not hiding anything that you need to know and I'm definitely not giving you shit. If I want to pursue Y/N and try to fix what I've done it's between me and her."

Tony folded his arms over his chest "If it potentially messes with my team then I need to know. I guess you can try to fix things but that doesn't mean I have to make it easy for you. That poor girl has been thru enough, why can't you just let her and Barnes be happy."

"Never thought I'd see you stand up for Bucky, Stark."

Tony shrugged "Never thought you'd turn out to be a lying POS. Winter Soldier aside he seems a better man than you."

"Fine, Tony I have things to do." Steve stalked out, fuming.

On his way to his room he passed the common room where Rainbow and Bucky were cuddled up on the couch, quietly talking with lots of giggles and kissy noises.

Steve scoffed "Don't you both have private rooms where you can ahem fondue instead of hanging all over each other out here? What happened to modesty?" he grumbled as he walked off.

Bucky and Rainbow looked at each other confused at Steve's outburst. Bucky shrugged she giggled and they went back to their bubble until Sam showed up.

Sam grinned at them "Well, aren't you love birds just adorable." He started singing "Rainbow and Bucky, sittin in a tree, K I S S I N G-" He teased.

Bucky blushed before he glared at Sam, cutting him off, not wanting him to make Rainbow uncomfortable.

"Grow up, Sam. You'd think you had never seen a happy couple. Must have been one Hell of a dry spell."

Sam laughed "Nah, I just enjoy getting you flustered."

Bucky had enough and raised his voice "You need to stop-"

Rainbow softly touched his cheek and Bucky closed his eyes and leaned into her hand, Sam all but forgotten

"It's ok Jamie, he doesn't bother me. Nothing else matters when I'm with you."

Sam smirked "Aawww, ain't you the

cutest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

About a month after Nat left the compound, there was a fundraiser for the New York library. Bucky and Rainbow were hesitant to join the team on a nite out but Tony did everything short of calling it mandatory so they agreed to shut him up.

Details about the triangle with Rainbow, Nat and Steve had been leaked including some racey pics, everyone assumed by Nat, and the teams popularity took a hit. Steve's approval rating was down more than anyone besides Nat.

Unfortunately they received funding from multiple governments and other rich benefactors besides Tony and the negative numbers made some of them twitchy. Tony was convinced that coming out together and showing a United front would help.

There hadn't been any huge incidents that required Avengers level intervention so Rainbow and Bucky hadn't been on any missions while he taught her how to fight hand to hand.

Steve was doing everything he could think of to get alone time with Rainbow but distracting Bucky wasn't enough. The entire team worked to keep Steve away from her which made him short tempered. He disappeared for a few hours at least 3 late nights a week and would be less awful the next morning but it didn't last long.

Everyone assumed he was hooking up but only Tony had a good inkling of who Steve was meeting up with, which meant she was still in town.

That concerned Tony. After the reveal of Nats multiple faces he didn't trust her, or Steve's, intentions so kept a close eye on Steve and kept the other eye open for her to try to worm or cheat her way back on to the team. Or cause them more damage. He couldn't find any trace of her or evidence that she was up to something but knew they hadn't seen the last of her. Tony kept it all to himself so that he wasn't needlessly worrying the team, who all had their own suspicions.

He had FRIDAY watching out for her without any luck, knowing that her particular skill set would help her stay under the radar.

Wanda and Rainbow went shopping to find outfits for the library gala. Rainbow found the perfect dress, a pastel ombre floor length gown with spaghetti straps and a sweetheart neckline.(like Faith Hills 2002 Oscar dress).

Rainbow was so excited, her first event as an official Avenger and a chance to dress up and go out on Bucky's arm.

She was also nervous about such a big event and all the people that would be there. It wasn't Tony's event or his venue so she was a little nervous about security and Nat trying to pull something.

Or Steve trying to get her and Bucky apart. Steve and Nats deception made her nervous and skittish about trusting anyone but Bucky, Sam, Tony, Bruce and Wanda. Steve was another story, he kept pursuing her but never even apologized for what he had done, trying to convince her it didn't happen how she remembered.

The day of the event Pepper called in a beauty team to help get the ladies ready so they could relax. They gossiped and giggled about the men in their lives, over champagne, carefully avoiding any mention of Steve or Nat.

Once it was time to go they went to the lobby to meet their men who were waiting, mostly patiently.

When Bucky saw Rainbow his mouth dropped open and his eyes darkened. It took him a moment to speak

"Damn doll, you look more beautiful every time I see you. All the men there are gonna be green with envy when they see my girl." He kissed the back of her hand.

Rainbow admired Bucky's all black look with a small splash of color in a pocket square that matched her dress.

Sam was also there with a very cute girl from the research team, they had bonded over Red Wing. Lauren was very sweet and a little crazy and not used to the kind of attention Sam lavished on her but she loved it.

As they headed towards the stretch SUV a familiar but unwelcome voice called out "Oh good, I got here just in time." And proceeded to insert himself between Bucky and Rainbow, hand on her lower back as he opened the car door for her.

Rainbow pulled away from Steve with a look of disgust on her face, Bucky bumped Steve with his shoulder to force him away from Rainbow.

Steve scoffed "Isn't this whole outing supposed to show we are still a united team, ready to work together and protect humanity? Who's going to buy that if everyone is giving me dirty looks and flinching away?"

Tony sighed "Dammit, he's right. We need to just hold our noses and look like one happy family." He looked at Rainbow sadly "You should probably dance with him at least once just for show."

Bucky shook his head "No fucking way, he needs to keep his hands off of her." his arm went around her shoulder and pulled Rainbow closer to him.

She looked in his eyes, touching his cheek softly "They're right but it's ok, Jamie. I don't want to be separated from you but it's only a dance or two and I can take care of myself."

Bucky sighed then glared at Steve "I swear to god Steve, you hurt one hair on her head and I'll kill you in your sleep."

He helped Rainbow into the car and scooted in after her before Steve could get between them and sit next to her.

The drive was tense, the lighthearted vibe from earlier was gone thanks to Steve's insistence on being part of the group, without regard to the feelings of anyone else. Bucky had Rainbow pulled close to him while giving Steve his best Winter Soldier stare.

When they arrived the door was opened to the red carpet, shorter than your typical Hollywood event but enough to let fans and paparazzi get a look at the Avengers.

Of course Tony and Pepper went first with a positive reaction of applause and shouting.

Wanda and Vision were next with a similar reaction from the crowd and camera flashes popping everywhere.

Rainbow stepped out of the car and the crowd erupted. Applause, whistles, shouting and requests for autographs and selfies. She smiled nervously, never having expected so much love.

Bucky followed her and received a positive response, if a bit muted.

Steve stepped out of the car and the crowd went silent, all that could be heard was whispers and flashes. Then a smattering of boos and hisses sounded and Steve clenched his jaw before striding past everyone and into the library.

Tony shrugged and smirked at the crowd and led everyone inside to stop at the bar first.

After snacking on some appetizers to offset the alcohol she was drinking Rainbow wandered around the room, holding Bucky's arm and chatting with the people Tony introduced them to.

Then came some speeches about the money raised and the good work the libraries did. A couple of local celebrities performed and then the music started. Steve appeared out of nowhere to grab Rainbows arm and drag her to the dance floor. She started to pull back before she remembered what Tony said, united front- happy family, and tried to relax in his arms.

She was doing well until a short, curvy blonde in a strapless, glittery, red dress with a cut outs and a slit high up her thigh approached Bucky. Rainbow didn't recognize her face but there was something familiar about her. Bucky shook his head but the woman wouldn't take no for an answer so he finally gave in, emphasizing that he would only give her one dance.

When the song ended Rainbow and Bucky pulled away from their dance partners, practically running back into each others arms. They swayed to a slow song, staring into each others eyes like they were the only people in the world.

A more lively song started and Bucky pulled her into the simple swing dance moves making her sport a real smile. When he went to spin her the crowd seemed to move together to come between them and Rainbow ended up in Steve's arms. He worked to move them down a hallway towards the bathrooms where Rainbow saw something that made her chest ache.

The sultry blond in the red dress was kissing Bucky hard, hands in his hair pulling him closer to her. When Rainbow saw, a gasp left her mouth and the blonde woman barely pulled back from Bucky to quickly smirk at her before pulling Bucky back to kiss him again. Steve turned Rainbow before she could see Bucky pushing the woman away and wiping all traces of her from his lips while looking for her. Rainbow felt a pinch in her neck and everything went black.

Bucky looked around frantically for Rainbow but her, Steve and the blonde woman were nowhere in sight. He moved through the crowd in the direction Steve had been moving, through the hall past the bathrooms to the service entrance but they were gone.

Bucky raced back into the main room, searching for Wanda first in the hopes that her powers could help find Rainbow.

He grabbed Wanda's hand and pulled her to interrupt Tony and Peppers dance and blurted out

"She's gone! Natasha was here and helped Steve separate us and now they're all gone."

Chapter 9

[wazzappp]

ALRIGHT WE BALL. Time to get on with the story (i have a story planned thats. a real shocker. im ass at writing but ill get this drawn damnit I promise)

This argument is one that just needed to happen. Robbie cant think of the infected he's been killing as people because that would mean he has killed a truly UNCOUNTABLE AMOUNT OF PEOPLE. Lisa has done what she has to in order to survive, and that includes killing the un-infected (which, of course, to Robbie is totally unacceptable). So when he's trying to explain the difference it just comes across JUDGY AS HELL. They're both proud and defensive and bad communicators and the conversation goes BADLY.

This happens while they're on their way to the Beneviento house. Lisa basically goes 'Alright if youre so high and mighty go ahead and beat this one yourself then!' and fucks off back to Duke with the intention to kill as many Lycans in the way as physically possible. Robbie goes ahead to the SPOOKY NIGHTMARE HOUSE trust me I have plans for what he sees in there and its appropriately disturbing but it also spoils the ending I have planned for this whole thing so :) hang in there.

BUT he ends up having a BAD TIME when he's trying to head back and what @rokhal suggested slotted in SO VERY NICE HERE (i feel i have sufficiently LOST MY MIND over the fic you posted i am JKSL:FJSDFDS F UCk)

'Picturing Robbie alone in the Village foraging for gunpowder and cash (because it's a Video Game and they can't just hang out in Donna Benaviento's house throwing the creepy dolls in the river while waiting for rescue after reconnecting the phone lines, no, they have to wander around the entire map) and he's saving the herbs for Gabe and using all the chem fluid for sniper rifle ammo or whatever. And he's fighting off werewolves and it's fine because apparently his health regenerates like mana because he's made of mold.

But as he's wandering around it starts to get harder and harder to remember how much cash and scrap he needs. And he keeps missing shots. And then he gets a little turned around but now he's lost and there's more fkn werewolves, and he's seriously low on ammo and he just wants to get back to Gabe, but he needs to regroup and his hands are numb so he tries to warm them at one of the villager's stoves.

And then he discovers that he's slowly turning into a mindless mold creature, and realizes that the only way to keep Gabe safe from him is to get really really really lost, so lost he'll never find his way back before something kills and eats him.

This does not work, but it does ensure that he is incoherent and barely recognizable by the time Gabe and Lisa track him down.'

Which is all MWAH. CHEFS KISS.

Anyway Robbie is gone for a WHILE and Lisa realizes that the puzzles she needs to solve to move the fuck on require 2 people so she's stuck killing any lycans that stray too close to Dukes camp and hanging out with Gabe. UNTIL, of course, Gabe decides yeah no fuck this fuck that Robbie has been away for WAY to long and I'm going after him. Only problem is that Gabe's abilities are kinda rooted too wherever his sclerotia pods (is adding pods to that redundant? whatever we ball) have had enough time to take root and grow. Meaning, despite her anger towards Robbie at the moment, if Lisa doesen't want Gabe caught, dragged to Mother Miranda and dismembered, she's gotta go with him (also featuring @moosemonstrous hilarious idea of her being proud of Gabe's attempted intimidation).

When they DO track him down he's barely awake. He keeps wandering in one direction then looks like he wants to turn around and go another but he keeps FORCING HIMSELF to go the other way (generally I think he would be a decent bit stronger, but fighting his instincts this hard make him seem more aimless. Robbie is borderline unstoppable when trying to get to his brother, but right now he's NOT trying to get to his brother. you feel me?). Lisa goes up first to make sure he's not going to lose his shit or something. He basically falls onto her with the single saddest "m'sorry" ever heard on planet Earth. If it's for FALLING on her or if its for the CONVERSATION earlier, Lisa isn't quite sure. But it's been years since anyone has apologized to her for anything and thats enough for her to decide she should at least sling him over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes back to Dukes camp.

They make it back to the Dukes camp and give Robbie a couple of med kits (GOOP JUICE!!!!!) and he's a little more coherent. He's still trying to stay away from Gabe even though everything in him is saying 'STAY CLOSE' but he's got SOME brain space available because at least he's in line of sight now. Scrambled brain time is not the BEST for trying at an apology but hey, Robbie isn't really known for his great ideas and he tries anyway.

(ft me being unwell about shoving them together)

They're on better terms after this. The communication is still weird but hey its them so everything is weird. Plus they get some extra bonding time because I also snatched rokhals OTHER suggestion of

'....Been thinking maybe The Duke has a recipe that would heal Robbie...requiring meat from a golden dancing fish and the breast of the blue bird that haunts the graveyard and the tenderloin of the magnificent boar that sires all the swine in the Village...or something. So Gabe and Lisa have to go hunting while keeping Robbie calm...'

Ah yes. the high end flesh of the Great Village Fuck Boar. Delightful.

Cause I mean he's BETTER but still not GREAT. I think now that he's with Gabe he would be unable to leave him again while like this. Gabe would HAVE to go with them (we can get >:] 'Robbie goes into an overprotective frenzy and sword hands himself to hack some poor lycan that got too close in half' its a good time [its not. sword hand is very disturbing to him])

So anyway what Im TRYING to say is that the brainworms will continue

[cer-rata]

Fav batfam ships?

See, making that plural was a mistake, dear Anon, because now I have an excuse to list one for every member I care about and also explain myself--

In no particular order:

Bruce and Talia: Partially because I am god's strongest (and most delusional) soldier and can ignore anything racist and OOC in all of her depictions over the last 20 years. I honestly think it's hilarious how disgustingly horny they are for each other and how absolutely stupid they get when left alone together. 10/10 so funny I could die, let them be dumb together as a treat.

Dick and Koriand'r: Listen. It's basic. They have problems, they've always had problems, but when the story and editorial direction allows for it they make each other so happy. Two traumatized kids from across the stars that find a moment of safety with each other? I am a simple man, it compels me.

Kate and Renee: I'm a sucker for disaster lesbians. I am. They are the avatars of lesbian disaterism and honestly good for them, keep making Aphrodite wildly upset with how hard you both can fumble a baddie, laddies.

Stephanie and Cassandra: It's popular for a reason! They are so wildly different while being weirdly similar! They care about each other in ways that are so genuine and raw, but aren't always helpful to the other party! Visually they look like a classic emo/sunshine ship, but if you investigate even a little bit it's quickly obvious that their dynamic is much weirder and more interesting. See also: the above disaster lesbians (wlw specifically here but the sentiment stands) thing.

Barbara and...Kara(?): ...This is my badly substantiated rarepair that also relies on a reality where Kara wasn't aged down. I just...it is one of the two variations of Superbat that compels me, and it purely comes down to the intensity of their personalities, the emotional weight they both carry, their intense understanding of loss and duty, and the fact that as Oracle and Supergirl they manage to have similarly heavy responsibilities on their shoulders.

Damian and Jon: The other variation of Superbat that compels me. Look. They've never got to have any consistent, wholesome, appropriate or healthy close relationships with any other viable options first off, so this isn't hard. Second, their arcs are literally designed to compliment each other, and the groundwork for that was laid out for sooo many issues. It's the opposite of Babs and Kara where there is actually so much content to be compelled by that it circles back to being painful again. Now, to be clear, I have no interest in anything happening with them unless and until they are allowed to be adults, mostly because I think those character arcs need come to completion before anything more than being best buds happens. Also, as god's strongest (and most delusional) soldier, the volcano didn't happen, Jon is going age normally and get to go to high school, they're going to fix it okay, there's a space whale--

Tim and Jason are in a weird "Y shaped" poly situation with a hairy bear named "Intensive Mental Health Care": No I will not be elaborating further.

Duke and ???: I love Duke. I have not been compelled by a ship for him yet. I know Tom King tried to make him and Gotham Girl a thing but...who wants that? I even like Gotham Girl enough to write for her, but WHO WANTS THAT!?

Anyone else I really haven't thought enough about to include...however....

HONORABLE MENTIONS THAT I DON'T WANT BUT SOMEHOW COMPEL ME:

Bruce and Minhkhoa: So funny, almost a parody of Bruce in a MLM ship, painfully comedic, Khoa is a disaster of a man and the most down bad creature on earth, beating even Talia on the obsession angle. Never let them prosper, never let them get it together, let me feast on this crack made canon.

Bruce and Selina: I DO like me some batcat, but I'm really more interested in Selina getting to be her own thing nowadays. Escape the bat-love interest curse girl, maybe go kiss an amazon or something.

Kon and Cassandra: Don't want this, but I am truly taken by the fact that was even a thing that was considered for 30 seconds. Insane. Insane pairing. Batshit. Kind of endearing? But please never again.

Barbara and Dinah: Listen 90's BoP (and often after too) was full of so much sexual tension between these two that it was almost suffocating. The one-night stand that they both fondly think about later, but told no one about? It needed to happen, but that's the end of it for me.

[to-thelakes]

built to fall (3)

pairing; luke alvez x fem!reader

series summary; after having a rough month, the feelings that you had been harbouring for your co-worker finally come to the surface

series warnings; fluff, hurt/comfort, smut (later on), mutual pining, discussions of mental health, reader gets drunk, vomiting, suggestive themes, sexual tension, cases that the bau work are also mentioned so the usual warnings for the show apply

warnings for this part; slight miscommunication trope, tooth-rotting fluff, luke is a consent king, kisses <3

notes; luke is my consent king, love that man till the ends of the earth, also, just realised i didn't say but none of this fic has been beta-read, just proof-read (once) by me so i'm sorry if it's a complete fucking mess

tags; @smurfenijsje12 @xoxomoonlightbabe

ao3 / masterlist

previous chapter

Back-to-back cases swept up the next few weeks of your life and you and Luke hadn’t really had time to talk about what had happened. You were avoiding it and you were frankly embarrassed. You didn’t want to think about it and so if he ever tried to bring it up, you’d just change the topic. It was easier that way and you frankly didn’t think he needed to explain himself.

The two of you worked amicably. You tried your best to act like nothing had happened but that was a little harder than you had initially expected. Luke kept trying to get you to talk about it but you had been purposefully avoiding it. You were on cases and you didn’t want to possibly impair your judgment by becoming too emotional about Luke.

But the case you had been assigned to currently hit a little too close to home. So, frankly, you were already emotional. A little girl had lost her parents due to the unsub and you were finding it hard to keep it together. You were still a little fragile over your own parents and everyone could tell that you were off. Emily had tried to talk to you but you had reassured her that you were fine.

Luke could tell that something was wrong but whenever he tried to approach you, you shut him down before he could ask if you were okay. It was obvious to everyone that something had happened between you and Luke and it was beginning to affect the both of you. None of them really knew what was going on and Matt had tried to ask Luke but he brushed it off, acting as if it didn’t matter but it clearly did.

However, the longer this case went on the worse you were beginning to feel and the more you avoided Luke. You barely even looked in Luke’s direction anymore. The thought of making eye contact with him terrified you because you knew that if he spoke to you, you would break down into his arms. But you couldn’t do that to him, not again. 

The text that you hadn’t replied to weeks ago had reassured you that he didn’t mind looking after you that night but it didn’t mean you wanted him to see it again. Especially not after you had continued to spill your guts over the phone. Now that some time had passed since the conversation over the phone, you knew that he probably wasn’t rejecting you.

But you didn’t know how to approach him anymore. So, you just avoided him. But as the third evening of the case rolled around, Emily decided that enough was enough and grabbed you to take you to one side. You hadn’t expected to be ambushed and when she asked you what was wrong, you floundered.

“Did something happen with Alvez? If something bad happened, you need to tell me and I will sort it out,” She said sternly. You stared at the floor, caught off-guard and completely floundering. Emily could see the way that you were fighting internally with yourself. She let out a sigh before she stepped towards you, “I need to know if something happened.”

“Nothing bad happened,” You said after a moment.

“You don’t have to lie. Nobody has to know,” She said softly. You shook your head, lifting your head up to look at Emily. You weren’t sure exactly what she thought had gone on but you couldn’t let her think badly of Luke. This was all on you. You were emotional, you were avoiding him. It was all your fault.

“I mean it. I just, you remember when Luke took me home?” You asked, Emily nodded, “Well, I was really drunk and I spilt my guts out and sobbed. It was ugly and I made some comments that were far from professional. I just can’t get him off my mind and then I spoke to him on the phone and… and I told him that I’ve been thinking about him a lot. And I just don’t know how to talk to him now because… I like him, a lot more than I should and I don’t know what to do about it and I can’t just pretend and talk to him like normal. And I’m fucking 30 and acting like a teenager. Like, this is ridiculous.” Emily nodded along to your words, listening to you and the tension in her shoulders seemed to drop.

“Okay,” Emily began but she seemed to pause, not entirely sure where to go. She was your friend but she was also your Unit Chief and she couldn’t have conflict in the unit. It would cause too many issues and so, she glanced over at Luke, “Let me speak to him. Why don’t you go back to the hotel? Get some sleep. You need it and it’s getting late.” You nodded. Part of you wanted to stay and work but you couldn’t. Emily wouldn’t let you and with the emotional toll the case was taking on you, you could barely think straight and so, you wiped your cheeks and nodded.

“Thanks, Em,” You mumbled. She nodded and grabbed your hand, squeezing it softly.

“Get some rest.” The two of you then separated and you slipped away out the back door of the police station. It was a short drive to the hotel and you managed to hitch a ride with one of the officers that was heading out that way. You thanked them and once you were back in your hotel room, you curled up on the bed.

Then the tears started and you couldn’t stop them. You were sobbing violently as you wrapped your arms around a pillow. The past few cases had been hard and you were so tired. Everything was just getting pent up and you couldn’t escape the thoughts of Luke. It was driving you mad and you just wanted everything to go back to how it was before you had spilt your guts out to him.

The tears and snot didn’t seem to let up and you had to trudge to the bathroom after a while to try and clean your face up. But when you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, you cried harder. Your eyes were red, tears blurring your vision. It was too much. This case was too much and you just wanted Luke to hug you but you were terrified of that. What if it went too far? What if it just made it all worse and you couldn’t get over him like you knew that you had to.

After a moment, you heard a knock on your hotel door. You assumed it was Emily so didn’t even think before you opened the door. Instead, you were faced with Luke. There was a frown on his face when he took in your disheveled appearance and seeing him just made you cry harder. His eyebrows furrowed.

“Woah, woah, hey,” He said softly, stepping into your room. He closed the door behind him as you looked down at the floor, “Emily said that something was wrong. What is it?” He asked softly as he stepped towards you. Your shoulders shook and tears continued to drip down your face. You didn’t know how to tell him what was going on. It was too hard, “Talk to me, what’s going on?” He asked as he closed the space between the two of you. You wiped the snot from your nose as you stared down at the carpet. Luke’s face was pinched together as he watched you. Part of him wondered if this was his fault but he didn’t want to assume.

“You shouldn’t be here,” You choked out, trying desperately to control your sobs but every time you remembered he was there, it just got worse. He shook his head.

“No, I’m not leaving. You’re upset, I’m not walking away,” He insisted. That just made it harder and you had to hold yourself as you cried harder. You weren’t even sure how you still had tears left to cry but you did, “Talk to me, please, carina,” He begged as his hands moved to rest on your shoulders. You shook your head.

“I don’t know how to talk to you, that’s the problem,” You practically wailed as you covered your face with your hands. His face fell and he pulled you into a hug, “I keep getting drunk and saying stupid things and you make me feel so safe but I can’t just keep crying to you. You’re my friend but I just- it’s not fair on you.” You continued to blubber as you tried to control your breathing. Luke sighed. He knew what this was about now and so, he cupped the back of your head, pulling you against him. His other arm wrapped around you.

“I told you that it’s okay. I care about you, okay?” He said soothingly. That made you want to roll your eyes but it honestly just made you cry harder.

“I can’t keep saying those things to you. You, you clearly feel differently,” You stammered out, tears still streaming down your face as you squeezed your eyes shut. He let out a heavy sigh at your words, putting together what else was bothering you.

“Carina, you were drunk,” He stated, “I didn’t know how much you meant it and I didn’t want to assume. I have more respect for you than to take advantage of you like that” He explained. Your breathing had evened out a little now as he held you against him. He sighed against your hair before he grabbed your face, cupping your cheeks between his hands, “Look at me,” He insisted. You did, although it was very reluctantly.

“I was sober enough to know what I was saying,” You mumbled to him. He nodded and forced your face to tilt up so he could look into your eyes properly.

“But you weren’t sober,” He reminded you, “I can’t ever stop thinking about you and I wasn’t going to take advantage of you in a moment like that. Not over the phone, not in person, not ever. Do you understand me?” You forced yourself to meet his unrelenting gaze before swallowing and nodding. He nudged your cheek with his thumb, “Tell me you understand.”

“I understand,” You muttered. He nodded and then he moved one hand behind your head, pulling you into a hug again, “I’m not drunk now,” You added after a moment. Luke chuckled as you snaked your arms around his waist, snuggling into his warmth.

“No, you’re not, but you’re clearly upset and if I’m gonna do this, I’ll do it properly,” He said. You let out a heavy sigh and he chuckled softly at your dramatic reaction, “But, I feel the same way. I can’t… stop thinking about you. Do you know how distracting that is?” The soft chuckle that accompanied your words made your shoulders relax against him, “Couldn’t look at you without thinking about how gorgeous you are.” You began to grin. It was ridiculous how much you adored this man and he was telling you everything you needed to hear.

“Can you stay with me, then?” You muttered. He pressed a kiss to your forehead, telling you ‘okay’ softly before his hands trailed down from your back to your thighs. He gently lifted you up and you instinctively wrapped your legs around his hips. The new position meant you could bury your face in his neck as he carried you both over to the bed.

All he wanted was to make sure you got some sleep and you knew that you were cared for. He hated to admit it but he had fallen for you completely.

-

By the time the case was over, it was getting late but you all wanted to get home. So as midnight drew in, you had boarded the jet. And by the time you landed back at home, it was nearing 3am. You were honestly exhausted. Though, you and Luke had spent most of the flight home talking while everyone else slept so you really only had yourself to blame. 

You hadn’t intended to spend the whole flight talking with him but the case was done and the air was cleared. So, you wanted to speak to him. You wanted to stay close to him. He had already been sleeping in your bed at the hotel as the case dragged on. And as you flew back, the thought that you would be sleeping alone lingered in the back of your mind.

So, you did your best to just enjoy his presence. 

Once the team returned back to the office, Emily told everyone to go home and just finish the reports on Monday. That was a relief to everyone’s ears and with a few tired goodbyes, everyone began to filter out until it was just Emily, you and Luke. Emily was in her office and you could see her through the blinds. She was always staying late at the moment and you could see her writing up something at her desk. It made you frown but you didn’t have a chance to think about it too much before Luke had spoken.

“You heading home?” He asked as he walked over to you. You nodded, rubbing your eyes to try and keep the sleepiness at bay, “Need me to drive you?” You thought for a moment before you shook your head.

“I’ll be fine,” You said softly. He nodded and adjusted his to-go bag over his shoulder.  Luke’s presence made it so much easier to sleep and part of you wanted to ask him to come and stay over but you didn’t know how to. You hadn’t even kissed yet. You didn’t know what to do and it seemed he felt the same way.

The silence dragged out between the two of you before you said, “I just hope I can sleep.” Luke’s face contorted and you looked at him, cocking your head to the side.

“Why don’t you stay over with me? Then you can meet Roxy in the morning ‘cause I gotta pick her up from the dog-sitter,” He suggested. You didn’t even need to consider it. The thought of being able to stay with Luke for another day made you feel better. It was so much easier to fall asleep when you were next to him. Also, it meant that you might be able to work out what you were without the pressure of the case - or the team.

“Yeah, okay,” You said softly. Luke began to smile and he glanced over at Emily. She had been watching the two of you but when Luke looked up, she was quick to avert her gaze. You grabbed your to-go bag from your desk and pulled it over your shoulder, “Do you think she noticed?” You asked as you glanced back at Emily.

“Probably,” Luke shrugged. You rolled your eyes and then he took a hold of your hand, pulling you towards the elevator. His hand was so warm and you honestly felt like you could have fallen asleep against him in the elevator.

But you didn’t.

Instead, you debated what to do about the cars before you agreed that you would drop your car - and to-go bag - off at your apartment. Then you could grab a change of clothes and then Luke would drive the both of you the rest of the way to his house. 

By the time that you had arrived at Luke’s house, 3am had ticked into 4am and you were both exhausted. In your sleep-deprived state, you didn’t really give Luke’s house much of a look. You were more interested in getting in bed and curling up against his side. 

Neither of you really thought about much as he dragged you to the ensuite so that you could both brush your teeth. You then changed into pajamas which consisted of stripping and putting on pajama pants on and a comfy bra. Luke found it hard not to stare at you, admiring you as you trudged back into the bedroom.

His bed looked incredibly comfy. And he also looked incredibly domestic. He had stripped his shirt off and jeans off, leaving him in just his boxers as he got under the covers. You found yourself admiring his ass as he shuffled under the covers and when he noticed, he sent you a look, cocking his eyebrow.

“You have a nice ass,” You shrugged before he grabbed your hips and dragged you into bed with him. A giggly shriek escaped your lips as he pulled you against him. With a little bit of shuffling, you were curled up on his chest.

The warmth that radiated off his skin made you sleepy which made it easy to fall asleep. So, within a few minutes, you were dragged into the blissfulness of it. It took a little longer but with you against him, Luke also managed to fall asleep.

-

The blare of an alarm woke both you and Luke up and you let out a soft groan, leaning over and trying to switch your alarm off. Before you realized that it wasn’t yours. It was Luke’s. He muttered an apology as he switched it off before dropping back into bed. 

Your eyes blinked open for a moment, taking him in in the morning light. He looked so pretty and you couldn’t help the lazy smile that spread across your face before your eyes closed again. Part of you couldn’t believe that you were sleeping in his bed, in his house. It was ridiculous especially considering that you hadn’t even kissed yet.

“If I didn’t have morning breath, I’d kiss you,” You mumbled under your breath as you shuffled back towards the man beside you. You heard Luke let out a sleepy laugh before he rolled towards you. The two of you had slipped away from each other in your sleep and he frankly, was not happy with that. So, he grabbed you and tugged you into him. Your head slotted underneath his chin while his arm wrapped around your back.

“Mhm, that’s better,” He hummed out. You couldn’t help but chuckle against his chest. Your breath fanned across his skin and he nuzzled his head into your hair. Then you pressed a soft kiss to the column of his neck where you were cuddled up. 

Despite your best intentions, you were slipping back into sleep again. The feeling of Luke’s fingers running patterns across your back lulled you back into it and it wasn’t until an hour or two later that you woke up again.

But rather than being cuddled up to Luke, he was sitting up in bed, reading a book. You rolled over to take a look at him, still sleepy but more awake than you had been when his alarm had rudely awakened the both of you.

“Morning,” You mumbled softly. The two of you had fallen into an easy routine the last few days of the case. The feelings that bubbled to the surface were there but neither of you had actually done anything about them. But you were going to change that this morning. You were determined to finally get that kiss you had been craving.

“Hi,” He said softly, putting his bookmark in so he could put all his focus on you, “How you feeling?” He asked. You snuggled up to the pillow, a sleepy smile spreading across your face. It was hard to hide it which made him chuckle.

“It was a pretty good sleep,” You muttered. He moved to lie down, turning over onto his side to face you. He reached out to cup your jaw and you melted into him. It was nice. The routine that the two of you had fallen into was easy. It was like you were meant to be together and it soothed something in your soul that you didn’t know needed healing.

“Want some breakfast before I pick up Roxy?” He asked. You nodded against his hand, forcing your eyes back open to look up at him. He grinned and slid out from under the covers.

“It better be good. I’ve heard some… things about your cooking,” You added, teasing him with a sleepy grin. Luke looked back at you, tutting before he headed into the bathroom. You whined softly at the loss of him before deciding you needed to get up too. Realistically, you wanted to stay in Luke’s bed. His mattress was so soft and you felt like you were lying on a cloud. But you wanted to be around him as much as you could.

So, the two of you brushed your teeth together before you headed downstairs. This time you took the time to look through his house. His living room looked so comfortable. The couch looked like something you could sink into and never want to get out of. He had a big TV and a collection of different video games. They looked mainly like RPGs and there was a VR headset abandoned on the coffee table. 

You schmoozed a little longer, clocking the blanket on the back of the sofa that looked very soft and comfortable before you turned around and wandered into the kitchen where he was already cooking up a storm.

You could get used to this. He looked so domestic. He had put some pajama pants on before he left the bedroom but you still had a beautiful look at his bare chest and built shoulders. He was built like a Greek God and you loved it. 

As he was cooking on the stove, you walked up behind him and wrapped your arms around his waist. He smiled, glancing back at you before he returned back to the pan. You stayed there for a moment before Luke needed to move. 

So, you reluctantly stepped back and walked over to the fridge. He had mentioned something about loving OJ with his breakfast and when you spotted it in the fridge, you scooped it up before searching the cupboards for his glasses. Luke watched in mild amusement as he continued to cook, not bothering to end your suffering as you searched.

It took a moment before you found two glasses and then you poured a healthy dose of OJ out before you put it back in the fridge. You grabbed your glass and took a sip. It tasted so good and the sugar gave your system a kick that you didn’t even realize that it needed.

Once you were satisfied, you moved to sit up on the counter. Luke placed the lid over the frying pan before he turned around to you. The two glasses of OJ were placed beside you and so he picked up his as an excuse to get close to you.

He slotted himself between your thighs, taking the untouched glass of juice. He took a drink before placing it down. You met his gaze and couldn’t help but smile. Between his body between your legs, the warmth of him so close and the domesticity of all of this, you were giddy. You had missed this kind of comfort.

“Thanks for letting me stay over,” You said softly. He shrugged and let his hands slide up your thighs  to rest against your waist. He took you in, adoring every feature on your face. The way your eyes shone in the morning light and the relaxed way you smiled up at him.

“I couldn’t say no to this face,” He admitted as one of his hands moved to gently run his fingers across your jaw. You chuckled, shaking your head at his comment. The eye contact was a little too intense so you grabbed your glass and took another sip of the juice, avoiding it for a moment. When you placed the glass down, Luke was still there and admiring you.

“What?” You giggled, suddenly feeling self-conscious under his gaze. He shrugged and let his hand rest against your jaw.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked. You were a little dumbfounded by the question. In reality, it was obvious that’s what he wanted. He was so close to you, breath fanning across your cheeks and his hands caressing any part of your skin he could reach. You should have expected it and yet you still stammered over your words.

“Please,” You managed to get out. He chuckled and moved his other hand to rest against your cheek. He was cupping your face and he pulled you forward on the counter so you were pressed against him. Your eyes fluttered closed as he pressed his lips against yours. The first kiss was soft. There was a gentleness to the way he connected your lips and it made you weak at the knees.

Nobody you had ever dated had ever kissed you like this. It felt like you were floating and then he pulled back. His forehead rested against yours as you breathed in each other. Your brain took a moment to catch up before you moved your arms to wrap around his neck, pulling him in for another kiss.

It was passionate this time. Your legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him as closely as physicall possible against you as you moved your mouth against his. Your fingers moved to run through his hair, combing through his curls as you gently ran your tongue across his bottom lip. He didn’t waste a second letting your tongue in and he took the opportunity to deepen the kiss. The taste of OJ lingered on both of your lips as you desperately clung to each other.

His head tilted to the side, hands gripping your hips and tugging you closer. There was a longing in the way he kissed you and it made you completely breathless, heart pumping against your ribcage. You could have kissed him forever as your lips met over and over again, barely giving either of you time to breathe.

Your fingers tugged at the roots of his hair and he let out a groan against your mouth. His hands then trailed under the back of your shirt, fingertips running across your spine. You arched into him and he pulled back, taking your bottom lip between his teeth. The whimper that left your lips was completely involuntarily and it made him smirk as he pressed wet kisses across your jaw and down your neck. Your fingers stayed buried in his hair, gripping onto the roots as he searched for the spot on your neck that would make you keen.

“Luke,” You whimpered softly as his teeth nipped at your skin. He grinned against you, happy to have found the spot he was looking for. He then began sucking the skin into his mouth, “Fuck,” Your hands tugged at his hair as you bit your lip. It felt so good. Luke felt so good and you were pretty sure that you would do anything he asked in that moment. The quiet groan he let out as you pulled on his hair just made it all that much more erotic.

But, even though you loved the feeling of his lips against you neck, you wanted his lips on yours again so you were quick to tug his hair, pulling him away from your neck before you connected your lips again. The kiss didn’t last long though. Both of you were completely breathless, panting as he rested his forehead against yours. Your eyes were closed as you breathed each other in.

A giggle fell from your lips as you finally let your eyes reopen, “Jesus,” You mumbled. Luke’s eyes opened and he looked into your eyes.

“What’s so funny?” He teased. You pecked his lips again before you pulled back a little more.

“Nothing, just, fuck,” You responded. He couldn’t help but grin as he moved his hand to cup your cheek. His thumb ran circles across your cheekbone before he leant up and pressed a kiss to your forehead. Fuck, you could get used to that.

“Ready for breakfast?” He asked softly. You nodded, biting your lip to try and stop the smile from completely taking over your face. You were so fucking smitten for him and you loved it but also couldn’t believe it.

<3

next chapter

[moonmemes]

DOKI DOKI LITERATURE CLUB PROMPTS warning: disturbing and mature content

"I've been reading a lot of horror lately."

"I hate horror."

"Thanks for keeping your promise."

"I overslept again."

"I know how hard you tried to make everyone happy."

"What am I saying?"

"I guess you don't have it in you to be mean even if you really want to."

"You say that like you were thinking about ignoring me."

"I changed my mind."

"Your happiness is really important to me, you know?"

"Honestly, you're even worse than me sometimes... I'm impressed!"

"Don't make promises you can't keep."

"I didn't want you to feel left out."

"You look out for me better than you look out for yourself."

"Glad to see someone recognises my experience."

"Keep practicing and maybe you'll be as good as me some day."

"I just wanted to see how you were doing."

"Whatever it takes for me to help you stop hurting, that's what I'll do."

"I don't understand your feelings at all."

"I know what you need the most right now."

"You're always hungry."

"When somethines wrong, you can't hide it from me."

"This isn't just some game where I can reset and try something different."

"I had only one chance and I wasn't careful enough."

"Please don't force yourself to be around me."

"Don't make me feel guilty."

"It almost feels like I've been betrayed as your close friend."

"The only cute thing about you is how hard you try."

"It's not healthy to think about the things you could have done differently."

"If you feel guilty, then that just means you deserve to feel guilty."

"Your suffering is fair enough retribution."

"I'm getting punished for being so selfish."

"I don't want to be cared about."

"I've had a really bad depression my whole life."

"What reason is there to do anything when I fully know how worthless I am?"

"Be careful, you might cut yourself on that edge, [name]. Oh, my bad, you already do, don't you?"

"Did you just accuse me of cutting myself?!"

“Have you considered killing yourself?”

“It would be beneficial to your mental health.”

“Wow, there’s really something wrong with me isn’t there?”

“I’m addicted to you.”

“It feels like I’m going to die if I’m not breathing the same air as you.”

“Doesn’t it feel nice to have someone care about you so much?”

“But if it feels so good, then why does it feel more and more like something horrible is going to happen?”

“I’m madly in love with you.”

"I sacrificed everything for us to be together."

“It feels like every inch of my body… every drop of blood in me… is screaming your name.”

“I don’t care what the consequences are any more.”

“I love you so much I wanna die.”

“I just wanna pull your skin open and crawl inside of you.”

“I want you all to myself.”

“Doesn’t that sound perfect?”

“Tell me you want to be my lover.”

“Do you accept my confession?”

“I didn’t realise the script was broken that badly.”

“I’ll make it up to you, okay?”

“Now that i think about it, i don’t know anything about the real you.”

"If only you had paid a little more attention, this would have been a little less awkward."

"I guess I owe you an explanation."

"I'm sorry you had to see that."

"It's not just jealousy. It's more than that."

"You're here. You're real. And you're wonderful."

"You probably saved my life."

"I don't think I could have continued to live in this world if I hadn't have met you."

"Will you make me smile like this every day from now on?"

"There's nothing left here. Just the two of us."

"I don't even think time is passing any more."

"We can be together forever."

"Don't be shy, I'd love to see what you wrote."

"I'm just falling more and more in love with you."

"Do you ever just feel like there's no real reason for you to be alive?"

"So much for being a good person, right?"

"You're supposed to jump from high enough that the rope snaps your neck, making it quick and painless."

"I just think you're really great and wanted to make sure you're not accidentally destroying yourself."

"Have you ever wondered what it feels like to die?"

"Did you delete me?"

"Go find some other people to torture."

"You completely, truly make me sick."

"I never thought anyone could be as horrible as you are."

"I'm just messing up a world I didn't even belong in."

"We finally got the good ending."

[hornyramostan]

Sergio Ramos x reader;

in which Sergio needs someone to comfort him

tw:self harm

You and Sergio have been dating for a couple years so you knew how was to live with a professional football player. There where a lot of happy times like when he won the champions league with Real Madrid or when he and the spanish team won the world cup, but as much as good times, there are bad times, and Sergio was traversing a bad one.

From a young age, footballers are strongly demanded so that they have a good performance in the matches. To achieve that good performance they have to go trough a lot of training, and that not only wears you physically but mentally. And that was something you hated so much. It seems like people, or even their own coaches and leaders did not know that mental health is exactly as important as physical health. You were tired of seeing him criying from stress after practices or before matches, because yes, players change A LOT when they're not on the field, and that was huge noticeable on Sergio.

On the field he was agressive, violent, rude and he was going to do everything he can to make his team won, but off the field he was the most loving, affectionate, protective, funny, friendly and sensitive person. People think that just because how he is on the pitch he has no emotions, but he has.

You knew that a few years ago he used to cut himself. You saw the marks one time and the idea of him doing it again tormented you. But multiple times he told you that he wasn't going to do it again, until that day.

You were back home after an exausting day at work. "I'm here!" You said closing the front door. After not hearing any response You exclaim again "Hello? Sergio? Babe? Are you at home?" Again, no one answered and you started to panic. Quickly, you went upstairs and went to the room the both of you shared. You were checking the place until you realized that the bathroom door was closed and there was someone inside, since a fine line of light escaped from under the door. Without much tought, you headed to the door and started to try to open it. "Sergio honey are you in there?" At this point, desperation had taken control of your voice and it began to crack. "Sergio babe open the door please honey i'm here" No response "SERGIO OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR" That scream full of fear, anxiety and panic, was enough for you boyfriend to Open the door. What you saw was nightamare. Your boyfriend, the love of your life was covered in blood because of the cuts he had in his arms an inner thighs. "Y/n i can explain it, i- just-" "no sergio oh my god what happened love why didn't you call me for gods sake look at you oh no no" That's when you started to cry. How didn't you notice how bad he was?

"C'mon, let me take care of you" You raised your hand in a signal for him to grab it and guide him to where you had the first-aid kit with the necessary things to cure him. You sit him down on the bed and grab his arm. With a cotton ball with hydrogen peroxide, you cleaned his cuts "Auch" He complained "Sorry" You said. You keep cleaning and bandaging his cuts, starting with the arms and continuing with the legs. At all time he kept his eyes on you. You didn't see them, but you felt them, you felt his starring gaze on your hands.

When you finished, you raised your head and looked into his eyes. "Why?" Silence. "Sergio why didn't you told me what was happening?" "I, i don't know. It all happened so fast. Lately it seems that the world is against me, I am doing badly in training, the press and television programs do not stop saying things about me, I feel that nobody understands me, that nobody can put up with me" "Sergio, my love, you know you can count with me, ALWAYS at any moment at any time. Please please please don't you ever feel like a burden to me or anyone. I want you to know that you are the most important thing that i got and i love you so so much, so please honey never do this again, and when you feel like you need to do it, call me or tell this to a close friend, anyone you like, but i want you to know that you will never be alone"

Sergio bursted into tears. You've seen him cry, yes, but never like that. He seemed to be venting after a long time suppressing his emotions. Carefully, you brought him to your chest where he quickly snuggled up. You started caressing his back as you settled on the bed.

After a long while, you stopped hearing crying and heard your boyfriend's voice "Thank you y/n, thank you for listening and thank you for taking care of me. I love you so much" Sergio was lying on top of you hugging you around the waist with his head on your chest while you caressed his hair. "It's nothing love, I will always be here for you" And just like that, you both fell asleep in each other's arms.

HII

i wanted to do one with this topic because i think mental health in profesional players (of any sport) isn't talked about enough.

i hope you like it and remember, you will never be alone ❤️

if you like it please interact with it so more people can read it

my inbox its open for requests!

[pumpkinmagekupo]

Day 28: Succession

After the painful fight with Sophia, Krile escorted Mizuki back to the Rising Stones.  She could only heal so much.  Once they arrived back, Krile ordered Mizuki to rest and went to make a documented report about what happened. Though Krile had to usher Mizuki back to bed on several instances.

"I'm resting- I can rest in a chair.."

"Bed. Rest." Krile said sternly.

A day or two had passed before Y’shtola reappeared

“I thought Mizuki was with you?” She noticed the severe lack of the orange mage who was quite good at writing reports.

Krile sighed deeply, setting her quill down “Mizuki was so reckless! She got herself quite injured. She left to fetch help but came back with just herself..”

Y’shtola chuckled with a shake of her head “aye, that sounds like Mizuki.”

“Tis no laughing matter! She needs rest before we head back to Azys Lla.”

Y’shtola frowned “you left her unattended?”

“Well yes. She must rest-“ Krile stopped mid-sentence “she wouldn’t- surely she knows better!” Krile ran to the room where Mizuki slept but found the bed empty and a note placed atop the well made bed.

“Mizuki isn’t one for resting: willingly.“ Y’shtola added with a musing tone.

Krile looked panicked “but her wounds haven’t fully healed- she’s going to make them worse!” Krile gripped the note tightly “does she not trust us?”

“She’s never given much thought to her own health. You can thank her master for that. Mizuki just wants to be useful.” Y’shtola said with a slump of her shoulders. “I can assume she headed back to Azys Lla.”

“I shall make haste!” Krile announced, running to grab her things quickly.

“I shall call for Master Garlond, he should be able to bear us there quick enough.”

They indeed found Mizuki in Azys Lla, sitting against the wall leading into the sanctum. At first glance it appeared as though she was sleeping, but as they approached, they noticed how badly torn and burnt her robes were and very blood stained.

“I did it-” she announced, with a tired smile "They gave me a little trouble but I succeeded." Mizuki gestured to the singed hat beside her “and I found my hat.” she added,

“That really isn’t important right now.” Y'shtola sighed deeply. "where are your wounds?"

Mizuki offered a little shrug "Perhaps...mentioning where I'm not bleeding might be better." she chuckled.

"How could you be so careless?!" Krile shouted, her eyes brimming with tears "what if you hadn't succeeded?"

"But I did," Mizuki answered.

"We will be taking you back to Ishgard," Y'shtola started "where we are certain, you will be resting properly."

"They're not that bad really-"

"I have already called ahead to Count Fortemps," Krile announced, "he sounded quite concerned-"

Mizuki's shoulders slumped, that was going to be another lecture about her wellbeing..

but at least nobody else got hurt because of her shortcomings.

Continuation of Day 27

Prompt List

[stackthedeck]

Hey, we've been mutuals for a while, and I think of you in a good light. I'm disappointed to see you post infographics that are clearly designed to persuade left leaning youth to not vote in the upcoming election. If you actually think Trump and Biden are equivalent, you've been badly mislead. Anything that convinces people their vote doesn't matter is dangerous and unethical to post.

Literally just google a list of things they did during their presidencies. Here's a list for each, from the same website: trump, biden. It's different. This doesn't even include the price cap on insulin Biden just mandated, since his list was made before that. He also reversed a policy, that trump put in place, permitting medical professionals to discriminate based on religious values (aka turn away gay and trans patients.)

If not that, look at who Trump appointed to the supreme court, and then look what happened to Roe v. Wade. The justices a conservative appoint are going to vote differently than the ones a liberal will appoint.

Like, I'm sorry if this is coming off as rude, but please think a little more critically and actually look at what they each have done and will continue to do. You are discouraging people from voting and you are responsible for the impact this has. You're spreading misinformation.

Frankly this does come off as rude. That post did not say don’t vote for Biden and it made incredibly valid criticism of Biden. Has the Biden administration put in place good policy? Yes of course. Are citizens right to also criticize that the administration hasn’t and isn’t doing enough? Also yes.

Listen I’m a political science student this doesn’t make me and expert by any means but I have done work in government so idk. I’m registered to vote in a red state I’ve voted third party for president in every election and I vote for candidates I agree with and know are effective in local and congressional elections. I’m not saying don’t vote. Even people saying don’t vote Biden aren’t saying don’t vote at all but encouraging voting at all the other levels

I don’t want trump to win but public pressure from key groups of voters such as Arab Americans of all ages (because framing this as a lazy ungrateful younger generational issue is incredibly ignorant) and yeah younger voters could encourage the Biden administration to actually change its policies especially about the ongoing genocide in Palestine. Biden does not get my vote or anyone’s vote because he’s not trump, that’s not democracy it is a hostage situation. Biden must be responsive to the people not just on election day and on the campaign trail but every day. I donated money to his campaign and grassroots organizations that empowered people to vote in 2020. I will not do so again until the Biden administration ceases all aid and weapons to Israel.

I don’t live in a swing state Biden doesn’t care about me. I’ve been harassed in the schools I’m employed at by teachers and parents alike because I’m visibly queer and because I live in a red state I have no legal recourse. Why doesn’t the Biden administration do anything to stop the hundreds of anti trans and anti queer bills in the states? Why don’t I have federal anti discrimination laws protecting me? My trans health care was denied under a blue president what difference does it make.

Vote blue no matter who is just as damaging to democratic values and thinking as make America great again. Either way the parties are complacent because they just have to be not the other guy instead of being responsive to the will of the people. We have to demand better.

Hopefully by 2024 I will be registered to vote in a swing state and Biden will have made the changes to earn my vote. But I know that I will be voting for state and local candidates and it will be coordinated with other truly civically engaged voters who want to see real change in their communities