#Improve website functionality
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Convert Website to WordPress: Your Path to Growth
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#Convert website to WordPress#WordPress migration#Website transformation#HireWPGeeks#WordPress growth strategies#Improve website functionality
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Big Finish really did do such a bad job updating their website that they ground to a halt huh? No new stories and no new news for almost two weeks now.
#I wouldn't mind if the website was actually any kind of improvement lmao#I just hate tech updates that lose features and functions for no good reason#and I swear the big finish website gets less and less user friendly with every update#big finish#my posts#Im complaining a lot on this blog lately I know jksldfj
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oh tumblr added a tiktok like function... eww hell no đ
#ârambling.#tumblr is not a good place for that đ#there are other things they could do to improve the app/website#and tiktok function wasn't one of them...
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being just Slightly 'more' autistic than the average tumblr user is fucking hard actually
#i constantly feel like i'm sitting Just outside the circle of understanding in any situation i'm in#and on tumblr it's easier bc most of us are autistic#but everyone seems to be pretty 'high functioning' too#to the point everyone has an expectation of understanding amongst their followers and mutuals even when they maybe shouldn't#so the fact i don't understand things everyone else does#or don't understand certain etiquettes that everyone else does makes being on this website (or anywhere in the world) super fucking hard#this is also why i don't talk to people very often; i'm either rejected and not responded to outright or i will be eventually#bc i'll say something stupid that i don't realize is not polite to say bc in other places it's fine to say or something similar#i don't try to be this way (not understanding the boundaries of others)...it just happens and idk how to improve upon it#i feel like i'm already doing my very best in that regard#but it's obviously still not good enough bc i keep fucking up#(also i hate the terms 'high functioning' and 'more autistic' which is why they're in quotations#bc i just didn't have a better term to use that equally got my point across)#txt
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I love to click ON A Tag to see whats goin on in there, only for tumblr to take me to a empty, "ÂŻ\_(ă)_/ÂŻ no posts with that tag lol, sowwy" page. girl i Came Here From a post With That Tag, obviously there is at least One (1) Post with that tag!!!
#functioning website#what search function#oh hey did anybody else get a notif recently from tumblr say they improved their search functions to include reblogs?#honestly thats not even related to this im just curious if anyone else got that message#also that new communities thing. i fracking misclicked and now its permanently an extra button on the bottom bar#in the exact same spot they stuck that stupid tumblr live function too#like A. why r they trying to tout this like they havent tried it like 3 times already#B. WHY wouldnt u put it under the messages/notifications tab#and u kno something im like genuinely one hundo (100) percent certain if staff Hid a New function. said NOTHING.#and let people 'discover'/infect others with it like they did with images in asks#it Absolutely Would catch like fuckin wildfire#like tumblr would literally the perfect site to bake a discord-like function directly into an already established social media platform#accept now im just fuckin pissed cause i have to deal with this useless extra widget on my icons bar that im never gonna touch#because discord overwhelms me and i wouldnt have anybody to wade into the waters with me to try it out#tumblr#tagging system#complaining#silly#pearl and brambles
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Hey @staff instead of being stupid little faggots and making jabs at twitter you could actually fix your website or stop with the insane porn censor or stop considering trans women existing to be porn or handle your serious terf problem or handle your serious Qanon problem or handle your serious extremist problem or improve your website without making it functionally worse or actually listen to your users
Or you can keep being cute until the website explodes because you're too preoccupied with stupid shitty changes to realize you're one wrong move from losing your userbase
#tumblr#staff#601 badge#601 limit breaker#IS THE STUPIDEST FUCKING THING#shut up#Stop trying to be twee and do something functionally useful#Hey why don't you stop trying to copy other websites and improve your unique experience#the reason why you're in this position is that you pushed the smut business out and then proceeded to fuck the dog for several years
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i might do a real writeup on my thoughts on shuffles in a few months if i still use it. it's like 80% of the way to being a functional editing software which is crazy for an app
#this is what i wanted out of pinboards on sheezy#shuffles is only a few years old i think so i have hopes it will improve#pinterest constantly annoys me with ads but my god they're 10x better at being a functional website/app then most places these days
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i love having three separate extensions running on tumblr just to make it a pleasant experience to use lmao
#thanks to a combination of x-kit rewritten stylus and tampermonkey#i now have the old dash layout With x-kit improvements and the old font still#god. functioning website#hanbles
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what does this even mean???
#grunge holds a grudge against pinterest#i recently installed a plugin that masks ads & has a blacklist#my pinterest feed is now 40% blank space with only 3 website & 3 terms blacklisted#and the fact that that is such a huge improvement should be an indictment of the functionality of the website
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Hobbies to try in your 20s



Explore art:
Tap into your creative side with painting, drawing, or sculpting. Art is not only therapeutic but also a fantastic way to express yourself and even decorate your space.
Reading:
Join a book club or set a personal reading challenge. From classic literature to modern thrillers, reading can expand your horizons and provide endless inspiration.
Get into gardening:
Whether you have a big backyard or just a small apartment balcony, gardening can be a relaxing and fulfilling hobby.Grow your own herbs, flowers, or vegetables!
Experiment with cooking:
Take on new recipes and cooking techniques. From baking bread to mastering the art of sushi, cooking can be both a practical skill and a creative outlet.
Try photography:
Capture the beauty around you and tell your story through the lens. Experiment with different styles, like portrait or landscape photography, and maybe even start a photo blog.
Practice yoga or meditation:
Incorporate mindfulness into your routine to reduce stress and enhance your overall well-being.
Learn to code:
Dive into the world of programming and build your own apps or websites. Coding is a valuable skill that can open up career opportunities and enhance your problem-solving abilities.
Challenge yourself with puzzles:
Engage your brain with jigsaw puzzles, crosswords, or brain teasers. It's a great way to relax and keep your mind sharp.
Try acting or improv:
Step out of your comfort zone and explore your theatrical side. Acting classes or improv groups can boost your confidence and creativity.
Travel and explore:
If possible, travel to new places, even if it's just a nearby town.Experiencing new cultures and environments can broaden your perspective and inspire new passions.
Try pottery:
Get your hands dirty and create beautiful, functional pieces with pottery. It's a relaxing and creative way to express yourself, and you'll end up with unique, handmade items.
Play games:
Board games,video games, or strategy games can be a great way to unwind and bond with friends.
Learn a new language:
Expand your horizons by learning a new language.It opens up opportunities for travel, cultural exchange, and even new career prospects. Plus, it's a fun and challenging way to keep your brain active.
Start a YouTube Channel or blog:
Share your passions, knowledge, or daily life through videos or written content. It's a creative outlet and a way to connect with like-minded individuals.
#aesthetic#glow up#glow up tips#it girl#study aesthetic#study blog#study inspiration#study motivation#that girl#study#that girl aesthetic#that girl moodboard#that girl outfit#becoming that girl#it girl aesthetic#it girl guide#glow up journey#glow up guide#glow up hacks#hobbies#pink pilates princess#n1pptips#studyblr#self love#self care#self improvement#becoming her#coquette aesthetic#coquette#wellnes girl
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Staff: *updates the android app*
Tumblr: *keeps disconnecting from the servers, takes forever to load, flags completely innocent blogs as NSFW*
Staff: We have a very good and functional website, nothing we could do to improve it no siree!
#tumblr updates#tumblr staff#staff do your job challenge#tumblr critical#i really need a personal tag
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Hello babes! So moving is expensive and my friend and I have a sneaking suspicion that our landlord is going to hold onto our security deposit (despite us maintaining this space really well and making functional improvements)! I could really use the security deposit, but to prepare not having it and to just try to cover my booty a bit more on all the expenses, I'm having a Big Ol' Sale!! đ„łđđ
Everything on my Itchio, 50% off!
Code : moving50
My Website Print Shop, 20% off!
Code : moving20
My INPRNT, 15% off!
Code : 2FLGL8PY
#digital art#digital painting#illustration#brushes#brushes sale#digital brushes#prints#print sale#help us leave our shitty landlord! he's 26 and we hate nepo boyking losers!
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It's here.
The Shepherds of Haven Twine alpha build is live on Patreon!
What's New:
UI! A new UI for the game awaits you, including a range of visual themes to switch between light and dark mode, each with its own âminimalistâ version for those who favor strict readability! Stat screens, achievements, notifications, codex entries, newspaper articles, journal entries, storefronts, the day off hub, relationships, the character guide, the inventory, your room, trading cards, gambling, and so much more have been redesigned from the ground-up!
Miss the old look? Switch the font to Georgia and use the "Scholar" theme in your settings. You can even toggle "prioritize stat bars" if you want to change everything back to just stat bars!
A vast range of settings to customize your game! Includes several fonts and ways to read the text, including OpenDyslexic font, as well as toggles to disable or enable visual effects, music, and character art.Â
Robust save system! Now, you can not only use 10 different save slots on your browser (including autosaves), you can also download saves directly to your device, arrange and rename them as you like, and even use them to play the game between different devices and browsers!
Interactive maps! Explore and learn about the world of Blest like never before!
Music! A gorgeous custom soundtrack for the game was designed and composed by Ivan Duch and will play at key moments in the story.
Art! New character art, character cards, collectible trading cards, background art, codex documents, bestiary notes, and so much more have now been integrated into the game. Donât miss the absolutely gorgeous cover designed by Angela Wang!
Fully mobile compatible! Though desktop is strongly recommended for the best gameplay experience, Shepherds is mobile-compatible and feature-rich regardless of what device you play it on.
Other gameplay improvements:
Trouble and Briony are now romanceable by players of all genders.
All players can change their pronouns at any times. Pronouns do not affect romances.
Gambling is now unlocked earlier.
Two day offs is now unlocked earlier.
You can now allocate different points in magic and weaponry training to different skills, not just one at a time.
For now, the new alpha build is only available on Patreon, primarily because this is all new to me and I was working under a severe crunch after the abrupt closure of Dashingdon. Once all the bugs have been ironed out, I feel less nervy, and the dust has settled down some--and I get some semblance of a functional daily life back again--I'll get to work making a public demo available to everyone. It shouldn't be too long of a wait!
In the meantime, please consider signing up for the Shepherds of Haven newsletter: you'll be notified of only the most important announcements--including the release of the public demo, beta-testing opportunities, DLC announcements, and more. Plus, you'll get a free exclusive digital wallpaper based on Shepherds of Haven! :)
Other new links:
manifold-studios.com - official website for my games
@manifoldstudios - this (shepherds-of-haven) is still my main account, but you can follow this one for a cleaner way to receive just announcements as well!
linktree
newsletter
And, of course, if you want to give the new Twine build a try, you'll want to...
Play here!
I sincerely hope you enjoy! âš
#Shepherds of Haven#Twine#twine wip#twine game#twine if#interactive fiction#twine interactive fiction#Patreon#alpha build#alpha preview#important#pinned#update#ahhhhhhhh#my heart can't take this i'm so nervous and excited lol#i'm crying i really hope you guys enjoy! đ
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Tutorials for Aesthetics
Hi! Reign here :) this guide is dedicated to teaching you how to make:
a) colour gradient text b) dividers c) pictures with gradients
Now, as a disclaimer, I'm not saying you should have all these things on your posts. Having pretty things won't guarantee a boatload of interactions and aesthetics shouldn't take away from the actual substance of your writing. Many fics do very well without all the glitz and glamour, and indeed simplicity goes a long way.
You should always prioritise clarity, improvement, and conviction in your writings. Don't get caught up in trying to look pretty and definitely don't be copying other creators' aesthetics unless they've given consent for you to do so.
This serves only as a starting off point for exploring styles that suit you.
Another disclaimer is that Canva, since I wrote and posted this, has and might make more changes which will render parts of this guide inapplicable, but the main parts should remain the same. Canva is best used with premium but I understand that not everyone can and is willing to spend money on this. So my advice is to find a different platform and search up tutorials online.
How to get the colour gradient text!
àŒŻ I use stuffbydavid.com
àŒŻ Decide if you want a horizontal gradient/middle gradient/three coloured gradient
àŒŻ Pick your colours + write out the text you'd like to be coloured in the text box
àŒŻ You can see the preview and when you're happy copy all the text in the HTML code box
àŒŻ Go on Tumblr, create a post, click the settings icon of the post, then in the Text Editor function change it from Rich Text to HTML
àŒŻ All your coding will be pasted in the HTML side and they'll appear formatted in the Preview on your Tumblr post
How to make dividers!
àŒŻ I use Canva
àŒŻ Click Create a design
àŒŻ Click Custom size -> for my colour gradient dividers, I use the 3000 x 40 px but you can use whatever sizing you'd like of course -> experiment to your liking
àŒŻ Click the colour wheel to change your background colour
àŒŻ You can do solid colours and use whatever hex code you'd like but to make gradients, scroll through the colour palettes to get to the different kinds of gradient options
àŒŻ From there, you can change the colours of the gradient and adjust to your liking
àŒŻ To download it, click Share, Download, keep it PNG, size 1 and Download for real
àŒŻ On Tumblr, you're going to just drag and drop that downloaded image on the website or if you're on the app, just add it as a picture and adjust it where you'd like it to go on the post
àŒŻ If you were to have drawings like the hearts or croissants for the divider, you'll want to adjust the Custom size, arrange the pictures or elements on the page, and download with a transparent background (it requires a premium subscription unfortunately but if you do the free trial and just make a bunch of banners and dividers before it runs out, you should be good)
àŒŻ A lot of this will involve experimenting for what works for you. There's no cheat code to that, unfortunately. But have fun with it. Don't be afraid to trial and fail -- everyone did at some point
How to add gradient colour to pictures!
àŒŻ Use Canva again
àŒŻ Click Custom size -> 3000 x 800 px (or, again, whatever size you like)
àŒŻ Pick a picture you like -> for manga panels, I like to use Pinterest
àŒŻ Drag that picture onto the blank page and adjust to fit
àŒŻ Click Add Page -> on that page, change the background colour. You can use solid colours or gradient colours, it's the same process as for making gradient dividers
àŒŻ Click the colour page, copy and paste it on your picture
àŒŻ Adjust the transparency of your picture depending on how opaque you'd like the colour to be
àŒŻ Delete the colour page and keep the picture
àŒŻ Then, again, click Share and Download
àŒŻ This is the final product -> you can obviously find better pictures and do whatever colours you'd like, this was just an example
àŒŻ I'm not very tech savvy so if my explaining is terrible, I am so sorry đ but hopefully this makes senses and encourages you to experiment and be bolder with your layout!
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"In drought-stricken areas, communities facing water shortages, or even in residential and commercial buildings eager to improve their environmental footprints, atmospheric water generators represent a new frontier in water production.
While it might sound like a tidbit from a science fiction movie, even the driest places on earth have moisture in the air that can be extracted and used for everyday necessities like plumbing and drinking.Â
Unlike traditional dehumidifiers, which also pull moisture from the air, AWGs utilize filtration and sterilization technology to make water safe to drink.Â
And while there are plenty of AWG companies out there â and the science itself isnât novel â AWGs are becoming more efficient, affordable, and revolutionary in combating water scarcity in a myriad of communities.
Aquaria Technologies, a San Francisco-based AWG startup, was founded in 2022 to help provide affordable and clean drinking water in areas most affected by climate change.Â
Using heat exchange and condensation, Aquariaâs generators draw air into their systems, cool that air below its dew point, and as it condenses, capture that water and filter it for consumption.Â
As the cycle continues, the generatorâs refrigerant vaporizes and goes through a process that cools it back into a liquid, meaning the heat transfer cycle repeats continuously in an energy-efficient and self-sustaining system.
âIâm sure youâve had the experience in the summer, you take a glass of a cold drink out of the fridge and then water droplets form on the side of the bottle,â Aquariaâs co-founder and CEO Brian Sheng, said in a podcast episode. âThatâs actually condensation.â
Sheng continued: âThe question is, how do we create condensation? How do we extract water out of the air in large volume and using little energy? Thatâs what our technology does. We have created both active and passive cooling methods where we use special materials, and weâve created heat exchange and recovery systems and airflow design, such that weâre maximizing heat exchange, and then weâre able to extract large volumes of water.â
Aquaria has created a number of generators, but its stand-alone model â the Hydropack X â can replace an entire homeâs dependence on municipal water, producing as much as 264 gallons of potable water per day.Â
Other models, like the Hydrostation, can provide water for up to 1,500 people at parks, construction sites, or other outdoor public areas. The Hydropixel can make 24 gallons of water per day for a seamless at-home application, requiring a simple outlet for power.Â
âAtmospheric water generators present a groundbreaking solution to the global challenge of clean water scarcity, leveraging the humidity present in the air to produce potable water,â the companyâs website explains.
âThis technology is versatile, functioning efficiently across diverse climates â from arid regions to tropical settings. From rural communities in developing countries to advanced cities facing unexpected droughts, atmospheric water generators have a wide range of applications⊠transforming lives and providing secure, clean water sources.â
Considering an estimated 2.2 billion people lack access to clean water globally â including in American cities like Flint, Michigan, or Modesto, California â innovative solutions like AWGs are vital to maintaining the basic human right to clean water.Â
The World Economic Forum has begun to dip its toes into this technology as well, implementing public and private partnerships to introduce AWG units in Arizonaâs Navajo Nation, where the machines produce about 200 gallons of clean water per day.
âWhen combined with an appropriate level of community engagement and triple-bottom-line business (people, planet, profit),â a blog post for WE Forum said, âthis model can be a powerful stopgap solution where few exist today.â
Similarly, according to New Atlas, Aquaria has a partnership with developers to supply its technology to a 1,000-home community in Hawaii later this year, relying entirely on atmospherically generated water.
The company also has a âFrontier Access Program,â which partners with water-related NGOs, community project developers, and sustainable development groups to deploy this technology in areas most in need.
Regardless of their use cases â in homes, in communities facing water shortages, or at aid sites navigating natural disasters â AWGs have a minimal environmental impact. Sourcing water âfrom thin air,â requires no plastic bottles, no large-scale plants using up loads of energy, and no byproducts that can harm the environment."
-via GoodGoodGood, August 27, 2024
#water#water shortage#drought#united states#solar power#sustainability#clean water#human rights#good news#hope#solarpunk
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sincerely yours. (8)

âł gojou satoru/reader
when a twist of fate led their marriage to the path of a quintessential tragic romance, two past lovers go through another series of experiences on love, heartbreak, identity, illness, and trauma along the road to a happily ever after.Â
genre. heavy angst, amnesia, modern au, 18+Â
tags/warnings. profanity, mentions of cheating, implied suicide attempt, toxic relationship, explicit smut

series masterlist -> episode nine

9:21 AM.
Tap. Tap. Tap. The sound of your index finger drumming a slow and steady cadence against the table was nearly in perfect synchronization to the tick tock of the clock above the wall behind you. An icy, uninviting atmosphere was the best way to describe the current situation inside the conference room at this time of the morning, with the gelid detachment between the boss and her employees as you built a wallâan impenetrable wallâaround yourself to keep the inner turmoil you had in your head.Â
So, you listened. You succumbed to silence as a result.Â
âIâd like to present this new idea that we, along with the ecommerce team, have come up with to increase engagement on our website.â Even as the marketing manager started to speak, you remained frigid. âWe did go through some feedback that people have been posting online and theyâre mostly saying that the current web theme is too plain and that theyâre hoping to see a more engaging website, so we would love to propose some ideas that could improve Hearteâs overall online presence. We know that keeping the brandâs look consistent is very important, especially now that Hearte is still establishing its own name in the fashion industry, and we have currently done a phenomenal job with our brand style. However, as the online website is our visual storefront, not only is its functionality critical, but we also have to ensure that the web design is in line with our aesthetics.âÂ
9:26 AM.Â
You leaned back on your chair with your arms crossed, looking up to speak to the manager from across the conference room. âLetâs keep the unnecessary introduction short and just go straight to the point,â you strictly announced, receiving curious eyes in return as it was their first time seeing you becoming all stern and unamused. Such an odd sight to see from a boss who used to have the brightest of sunshines reflecting on her smile. âWhatâs the proposal?âÂ
The marketing manager cleared her throat and moved her presentation onto the next slide. âYes, Ms. Y/N. So⊠uh, based on the data that you can see on the screen, our online sales increased by 15% for the past two weeks, but we still have about 10% of shoppers abandoning their shopping carts. Earlier this week, we set up email campaigns and social reminders to decrease our abandonment rate and urge shoppers to return to their carts. While working with the IT team, we did some A/B testing to determine which version would drive our business metrics. Weâve also reached out to The Society Management and added Kendall Jenner to our PR list so that possibly, in the future, we can get her as a model for our landing page and attract the western market,â she continuously explained in a manner to convince you of how much effort their department was doing to increase Hearteâs sales, âBut what we believe could bring a tremendous improvement on our website engagement is by introducing style guides. This will capture the interest of the audience now that they can mix and match some outfits based on their own style, andââ
9:32 AM.
Sigh.
âMs. Ono, I have to be honest, but I expected more from you,â you cut her off by leaving a frank comment on her presentation, âFashion brands have been doing style guides for years. You make it sound like itâs unique, but itâs nothing new. How sure are we that it will actually bring a dramatic improvement on our website engagement? I doubt most of them would even browse through it.âÂ
âWell, uhâŠâ The marketing manager faltered, glancing at the head of the social media team for some help, which she didnât end up receiving. âI think itâll work the way we want it to as long as we introduce engaging copies that make buyers fall in love with the designs.âÂ
âYou think?â You criticized her word of choice. âMs. Ono, I gave you enough time to brainstorm with your team, so the moment you step inside of this conference room, you should have prepared whatever strategy you had in mind. I donât settle for ambitious words like âI thinkâ or âI believeâ. I want to hear a proposal thatâs original, unique, and captivating. I want you to be a hundred percent sure that you know what youâre doing before you waste everyoneâs time like this. Do you understand? Am I being clear? I want a proposal that would definitely get us somewhere and not just by assuming we will.âÂ
Were you being too harsh? They said that the fashion industry in itself was harsh, so what was so surprising about seeing you being strict, candid, and business-like? This was the nature of your job. This was normal.Â
9:47 AM.Â
Very timidly did Nobara raise her hand beside you to chime in on the discussion. âI know Iâm not in the position to make suggestions, butâŠâ She pressed something on her laptop before carefully sliding it to your side of the table, showing you what appears to be a classic early 2000s âdress-up gameâ with a base model and a selection of outfits that were inspired by your designs. âI just wanted to show you this, Ms. Y/N. I do agree with Ms. Onoâs idea to introduce style guides, but maybe we can do it in an interactive way. I know the dress-up game idea may look childish and unsophisticated, but I was kinda hoping that we can just make certain adjustments so that it could match Hearteâs classy and simplistic style. We can have base models in different body types and skin tones to show our brandâs diversity, then we can have shoppers try dressing them up using the outfits on our current collection. That allows them to easily visualize how the pieces would look on a certain skin tone and body type.âÂ
The way everyone else in that conference table looked at Nobara was very obvious that they were expecting you to reprimand her for even having the guts to offer such a farcical idea. What does she know? They were probably thinking that. Youâre just an intern. You knew they were saying that in their minds. On the other hand, you surprisingly liked her proposal and enjoyed the unique idea of introducing it to the website because her proposal actually did make sense. People would be curious, people would try it out by interacting with the website, and that means the engagement would rise up.Â
âI like that idea. We can go with that,â you said, sliding the laptop back to her while nodding at the marketing and social media managers, âI need the team to discuss Nobaraâs idea further and polish it thoroughly before we can start adding it onto the website. Make adjustments as needed and ensure that everything is still in line with our brand. If you notice any flaws with this proposal, you can flag them with me and Iâll review them.âÂ
9:54 AM.Â
Just as you were about to wrap up the meeting, a certain someone entered the conference room in hasteâpanting out of breath with her long, wavy hair and creased red pants. âIâm so sorry, Iâm late.âÂ
Her casualness made you clench your jaws tightly, fueling the fire to your already terrible day. You could no longer stop yourself from unleashing your rage as you looked up at her with a critical squint. âMs. Hirai, what timeâs it?âÂ
âItâs ten, I know. Iâm so sorry,â she repeated her apologies and paid an apologetic bow to everyone in the meeting room, âIâm sorry, everyone. I was caught up in heavy traffic today.âÂ
You let out a silent scoff and ignored her compunctious act. âHow long are we gonna keep using that excuse, really?â you questioned her, earning the intrigued eyes of your employees who were all sensing the sudden tension between you and your best friend, âAs the fashion merchandiser and my second-in-command, you shouldâve been here in this meeting with me, but where were you? You anticipated that there would be heavy traffic, yet you couldnât be responsible enough in coming to work early knowing that we have a meeting? Or was it because youâre too busy doing other things so youâre no longer interested in showing up to work on time?âÂ
Akemi shook her head, contritely. âItâs⊠Itâs not like that.âÂ
âNot like what?â Your icy stare bored into her. No trace of compassion was present in your eyes. âIâm sure youâre living a very blissful life outside of work and Iâm glad you are, but is that also why you donât bother with anything else anymore?âÂ
âY/Nââ
âMiss Y/N,â you corrected, âIâm your boss, so treat me like one.âÂ
Wide, chocolate brown eyes greeted you in response. It was clear that she was at a loss of words and could only repeat her meaningless apologies a thousand times. âIâm really sorry, Ms. Y/N. It wonât happen again.âÂ
âYou didnât even let me know that youâll be coming in late,â you continued and ignored the pitiful expression on her face, focusing on her swollen red lips and her dewy, rosy cheeks. She must have had a really good morning to look like a cherry blossom on a spring day. Was she so preoccupied being all lovey dovey with your ex-husband this morning? Did she sleep comfortably on the same marital bed you used to share with him? Your jaw tensed visibly. âYouâre just coming in whenever you want. You donât respect peopleâs time. You donât respect my rules. You donât respect me.âÂ
Yes, you were overreacting by taking things too personally and it was the reason why you got up from your seat and bolted out of the conference room upon realizing your unusual outburst. You could hear the clicking sound of your stiletto echoing across the corridor as you stomped towards your office, swinging the glass door open and heading straight towards the ceiling-to-floor window to have some peace of mind. Peace? How ridiculous. How could you find peace? You couldnât even grasp the fact that your best friend was acting like everything was normal. You couldnât understand why she was rubbing her relationship to your face as if she wasnât just a placeholder to somebodyâs ex wife.
âY/N?â Akemiâs voice cut you out of your toxic trail of thoughtsâyour mouth thinning with displeasure while you didnât bother turning around to meet her gaze. Breathe. You had to breathe and think rationally. âIâŠI understand youâre really angry right now, but I was hoping we can have this much needed talk.âÂ
You could feel her reaching for your hand at the height of your frustration and your defensive instinct led you to angrily swing your arm away, accidentally hitting her cheek as you pivoted on your heel to face her. It took two seconds for your eyes to shift from glaring in frustration to widening in surprise after seeing the small cut your diamond ring left on her cheek. âAre you okay?âÂ
âY-Yeah, no, itâs fine,â she insisted with her palm pressed onto the right side of her face. âI deserved it.âÂ
Good lord. What was happening to you? Despite having all these unspoken rage and unresolved conflicts between the two of you, you would still drop everything and be concerned for her. You would still let your walls collapse. You were the villain that couldnât stick to being a villain. Why? Why did you feel this way? Was it because you knew she wasnât technically doing anything wrong? Or was it because you were just projecting your personal frustrations onto her? Was betrayal really the issue here? Or was it the huge possibility that she could in fact be Gojouâs one true love? You had thought of this before, but the same questions in your head never stopped. And never did they stop from invading your headspace as you made your way towards the small fridge to grab an ice pack that you soon offered to Akemi, leading her to one of the couches while finally coming into your senses.Â
Yet there was silence and nothing but awkward silence when you two sat at a safe distance from each other.Â
âIâm shameless.â She was the first one to break the uncomfortable atmosphere. âI know youâre thinking that and I do agree with you. I really am shameless to even look you in the eye right now.âÂ
You sighed and looked away, only to keep yourself from the furnace of pain that you had been bottling inside. âStop. Youâre making me seem like a villain right now. Iâm tired of seeing myself this way.â
She closed her legs and sat humbly, reaching forward to squeeze your hand. âYouâre not. Youâre not a villain and you never were,â said the same woman you accidentally smacked a few minutes ago, âI understand why you would feel a certain way towards me. Iâd even understand if you hate me so much that you wanna murder me. Iâm your best friend and I know about your history with Satoru, yet here I am seeing your ex-husband behind your back. I didnât mean it. I didnât plan it. I truly didnât. Even though youâre not together anymore and Iâm technically not homewrecking anyone, Iâm still putting usâyou and Iâin a really awkward position. You didnât deserve any of that and Iâm very sorry.âÂ
At least, she was self-aware. But looking at the brighter side of things, you were getting calmer now that you were hearing her side of the story, though that didnât stop you from feeling any less horrible. âI donât really care who you date,â you claimed, adamantly, âAnd I most definitely do not care who Satoru chooses to date. Weâve been divorced for three years.âÂ
âItâs still not right that Iâm seeing him.â She let her guilt speak up for her.Â
And you let your resentment speak for you. âThen, why him of all people?â
âItâsâŠâÂ
âComplicated?âÂ
âY-YeahâŠâÂ
You decided to keep a straight face. âHow did this happen?âÂ
Akemi looked as if you had just forced her to be on the hot seat because of the apathy on your visage. âIt was a drunken mistake at first and we kinda justâŠâ
âIâm not asking about when you two started fucking,â you replied, bluntly. Something you had never done before in your usual sophisticated vocabulary. âIâm asking when you realized you have feelings for him. When did you fall in love with him?âÂ
She had trouble finding the right answer. âIt just happened. I d-donât really know. Whenever you asked me to look after him, I guess the bond he and I developed from that made me see him in a different light.âÂ
You disregarded the pain in your chest and let the volcano explode on its own, because her answer only meant that she was already growing feelings for your ex-husband at the same time you were confiding to her about him. That was the worst part of it all.Â
âWhy do you like him?â you questioned further, âDespite knowing what happened while I was married to him, why did you still end up falling in love with him? If thatâs so hard to answer, then donât think about us or me or our friendship. Just think about the decisions you made for yourself. Why are you with Satoru?âÂ
Her gaze found the floor. Hesitance. Guilt. Shame. Those emotions were all dancing in her eyes in a complete roundabout. While she took a moment to fully reassess her decision, you werenât sure if you deserved to still feel hurt when she gave you an honest answer. âWhen I met Satoru, I didnât meet the toxic, cheating ex-husband that he was known for,â she said, slowly, âI met a man who holds such a high respect for his ex-wife, adores his son like his greatest gift of all, and values his marriage more than anything else in this world. I met a vulnerable man who isnât afraid to open his heart to strangers. A man who gave me emotional support even when heâs the one who needed it the most. I⊠Itâs hard to explain, butâŠâÂ
Was there really anything left to say? Her point was clear, and your silence while she was speaking was more so because you were trying not to let the tiny pricks in your heart affect you further than it already did. The fullness of her voice and the way her eyes shined when she talked about him were enough to tell you that your best friend had truly fallen in love and you would be cruel to take that away from her. Even from him. They would not have been involved in such an intimate relationship if there had been no attraction between them to begin with, so then⊠Why did it feel like you were being cheated on? She was no Sera, and he was not the Satoru that only used you for his corporate ambitions. It was just Akemi and Satoruâthey were each otherâs right person at the right time. The only thing blocking their path to a loving relationship was you.Â
You. The irrational and spiteful ex-wife. The ex-wife who always played the âvictim cardâ. The selfish ex-wife who wanted all the good things to only come her way.Â
Well, god be damned, because you were beginning to confuse yourself with the version of you that wasnât even remotely like you at all. She was just a mirrored image of yourself that you thought people perceived.Â
âYou can do what you want.â The moment you spoke again, you were already creating a huge wall between you and your best friend, making sure that there were boundaries that none of you should ever cross now that she had chosen to be with someone you had sincerely loved in the past. It may sound like you were letting go, but truth be told, you just didnât think that you even had the option to hold onto anything. Satoru wasnât yours and you werenât his anymore. You were two individuals living separate lives. âIf you wanna be with him, thatâs your choice. I donât plan on intervening. It just⊠just really surprised me that you didnât have the decency to tell me at all.âÂ
Akemi nodded, apologetically desperate. âI understand how youâre feeling and Iâm sorry. I really, truly am sorry, Y/N.â Her voice and her countenance did show the genuineness in her plea to be forgiven, but you were too numb to feel anything else. âI hope we can stay friends despite everything.âÂ
How could you even stay friends in a situation like this?Â
First option was to keep pretending that their relationship wasnât bothering you. Second option was to focus on your own relationship with Toji to the point where everything else just didnât matter anymore.
Yeah, you thought. You could certainly choose the latter.Â
âOur friendship isnât my top priority at the moment,â was your straightforward response to her, âI wanna focus on my son and his relationship with his father. Thatâs all.âÂ
Any regular person would have thought: âWow, Y/N. You handled that well.â âYouâre so mature.â âYouâre a lot calmer than we expected.â The thing was, you really did think that you had been way too calm about it. In spite of the scene you caused at the conference room, or the dramatic exchange you had with Akemi in your office, you still handled it much better than one would think. In TV shows or movies, the ex-wife would have dragged the best friend to the ground, slapped her face, pulled her hair, started a nasty catfight, and called her all the terrible labels you could think of. Look, part of you wanted to do that. And the other part of youâthe sympathetic, altruistic part of youâthought you shouldnât do that. You would only look pathetic.Â
Of all the negative things Satoru had made you feel over the course of your failure of a marriage, this aftermath was probably the toughest.Â
You just weren't in the right state of mind to justify why.Â
You also couldnât justify why you had been looking for unhealthy ways to cope with stress and anxiety. If anyone from your family saw you standing at the smoking area near the parking lot right now, they would have given you an earful of how you must be out of your mind for even putting a cigarette stick between your lips. How exactly could tobacco be good for you? You would say, first of all, that nicotine does in fact cause pleasant feelings to distract you from unpleasant ones. You couldnât find any other way to relax your mind any faster than one cigarette stick could. Besides, staying in the office and seeing Akemi around was getting too suffocating and you couldnât afford to have your negative mood lingering in your mind for the rest of the day. One stick wouldnât hurt. Another one wouldnât, too. And another one should be fine, right?Â
âWhat the hell do you think youâre doing?âÂ
The irony. You didnât even have the time to recoil before the main cause of your stress showed up in front of you, frowning after he snatched the cigarette stick out of your lips. He was quick to throw it to the ground, stomp on it like he would do with your heart, and give you a questioning look that made you scoff at the ridiculousness of this situation. This could be a dream for heavenâs sake. Or a hallucination. There was no way Satoru Gojou would be standing right in front of you just as you were thinking about him.
âSince when have you been doing this?â he questioned again, holding your wrist this time to make you realize that his presence or this interaction wasnât just a figment of your imagination. It would have been better that way, but the reality was, Satoru was there and he wasnât the least bit pleased. âI know youâre mad at me and this isnât the right time for me to chew you out like this, butâŠâ he paused, taking your cigarette pack. âI canât believe youâre fucking smoking right now, Y/N. Did you get this habit from Toji?â
Okay. Gojou could be way out-of-line sometimes, but this was the apex of it.Â
âDonât bring Toji into this,â you snapped back, shooting him a glare that could easily kill. âWhat are you doing here?â
You could see how deep his inhale was just by the loudness of his sigh after it. His face showed a combination of yearning, regret, frustration, and pity as if he was deciding which emotion should dominate him more. But among the multitude of emotions that were drowning him right now like a tidal wave, he looked all the more exhausted. Whether it was dealing with you, trying to make amends with you, or simply being around youâyou could tell that he wanted to drop his constant need to care for you because it was beginning to tire him out.Â
He didnât really answer your question, and instead, asked one of his own. âAre you smoking because of stress?â he asked, trying to mask the sympathy in his eyes. âItâs bad for you. Set a good example for Sachiro.âÂ
Youâre bad for me, you wanted to say. Why did it even matter to him, anyway? You were nothing more than just a mother to his child. Anything outside that role was completely not his business anymore. The fact that he was even within the vicinity of your office was ridiculous, because you were already having a bad day and his presence was adding further into it. âDonât you dare talk about setting a good example to my son like youâre so righteous yourself.âÂ
âY/N, come on.â He reached for your hand once more as if trying to show how much he cared or how worried he was with what you were doing to yourself because of him. âI donât want you toââ
âKeep your fucking distance, Gojou. Youâre not in the place to give a damn about me anymore,â you raged, withdrawing your wrist and breathing heavily as you tried to keep yourself from further exploding. You would have. You were so close to cursing him off, but you saw the flash of pure shock in his eyes, and that was how you realized what you just did. All these violent reactions, these unusual outburstsâthese were not you. This was not the meek, soft-spoken ex-wife that he was once married to.Â
âToru?âÂ
Unfortunately, Gojou no longer had enough attention span to listen when he looked away, only to turn to his new woman with a genuinely worried expression painted on his face as soon as he saw her coming out of the building with a hand on her cheek. You realized that he was actually here to pick her up and was doing everything that a caring boyfriend would; checking every inch of her face to see how bad she was hurt and asking her what happened and whether she was okay. You didnât know how to react the moment he turned back to you with his tired, yet passively accusatory eyes. âDid something happen?âÂ
You knew that his question actually translated to: âDid you slap her?â With your thorough knowledge about his acquired trauma from physical violence, you felt the sudden need to clear your name, but you didnât know if you should be grateful that it was already your best friend who did the part in doing such. âNothing happened. It was an accident.â Her tone was almost begging before she started tugging his arm. âLetâs just go, please.âÂ
Satoru didnât want to let it go, but decided that it was best to just leave it be as he glanced at you with a slightly detached gaze. âIâll see you in a couple of days,â he reminded, referring to the dreaded New York trip together with Sachiro.Â
A conflicted look from him and an apologetic gaze from her. That was all that you received before they got inside the car and left you alone and miserable in that parking lot. You watched his car fade into view with her on the passenger seat and him probably holding her hand as he drove through the street. Just when you thought you could actually stomach the sight of him and her together, it would be a big fat lie to say that it didnât sting. It stung worse than the times he ran after Sera than to stay behind with you. Worse than when he used to treat you like a mistress rather than a wife.Â
You must be going crazy, indeed. Who in their right mind would cry over her ex-husband in the middle of the parking lot? Why would you even shed tears when you were the one who wanted him to find someone else and move on? This was becoming a never-ending loop because you were letting yourself be affected by it. It shouldnât be that way. Never.Â
âToji.â You were doing your hardest to conceal the weakness in your voice as you pressed your phone into your right ear. âI-I need you⊠right now. Please.âÂ
âHey, I was just about to pick-up Sachi from daycare. Is everything okay?âÂ
Wiping your eyes, you looked at the dull skies wondering if the universe was trying to reflect all these emotions running inside of you. âYeah⊠Can you come soon?âÂ
He didnât really hesitate to answer, quickly understanding that he had to drop everything else right now and be with you. âAlright, Iâll be there.âÂ

Satoru was conflicted, but he didnât know what exactly made him feel that way. Was it because he saw you smoking in the parking lot? Or was it because he could tell that you gave Akemi a tongue-lashing after catching her half-naked at the penthouse a few days ago? Either way, both options were not very you. And he couldnât understand why you were slowly starting to look less and less like the person he knew, which was confusing on his part because you had been adamant on telling him to forget about you. You were rigid on your decision to not let him enter your life as your husband for the second time around. He told you he still loved you, but you said you loved another. He told you he wanted to work things out and make your family complete again, but you said you were already doing that with someone else. Gojou knew his hands werenât clean and the reason you may be acting that way was because out of all the women he could have been with, it had to be Akemi Hirai. Your best friend. Your confidante. Your business partner. She was a territory he shouldnât have crossed, yet he did.Â
But, at the same time, she was the only person who had been there for him during his lowest. She was the company he needed when his heart was the loneliest. He couldnât even remember the amount of times she came to his aid when he was crying over his memories of you, memories that he could no longer hold onto. Akemi brought peace to his heart, and if there was anyone else he could be with, it would be her.Â
It was becoming more and more clear to him how he felt about her.Â
Although, voicing that out loud was a different story. Keeping it in his thoughts was for the best because he didnât want to lead Akemi on. She didnât deserve that nor did she deserve to feel like a substitute for someone else. He wanted to be a hundred percent sure about being with her before he could fully confess his real feelings for her. It could still develop through time, perhaps far better and more passionate than what he was sharing with her right now, but until then, settling for what they had at this moment in time was for the better. What was important was that both parties were clear about diving into this relationship.Â
He wasnât ready for commitment and she understood that. She was willing to wait for him. She was helping him move on in the least painful way. Where else could he meet such a person like her?Â
She was gentle, motherly, sensitive, and intuitive. She was classy and sophisticated. She knew how to dress nicely. Her nails were always clean and pretty. Her smile was very charming. Her laugh, endearing. She was the perfect woman anyone could have.Â
âWhyâd you suddenly want to go to the mall?â she asked, intertwining their hands together as she looked up at him with her beautiful doe eyes. Her question made him cut out of his trance, remembering that they were strolling around the galleria.Â
He touched the small wound on her cheek as if stroking it could make it heal faster. âNothing,â he said. âJust a last minute idea.â
Truthfully, Gojou wasnât sure why he had brought her there. All he knew was that he had a lot going on in his mind while he was driving through the city and the next thing he knew, he was already pulling up at the galleria out of his natural instinct. But since they were already there, he might as well buy her a little something. Anything. And then his eyes caught sight of Chanel as if the high-end boutique was pulling his feet with such gravity that it led him to go inside the store while hand-in-hand with the woman next to him.Â
âMr. Gojou, how are you?âÂ
Right. The staff knew him so well, especially for the amount of times he had been there with his ex-wife when you two were still married.Â
âAre you looking for anything specific?â One of the familiar ladies that used to assist you approached him with a lingering stare towards Akemi. âPerhaps for yourâŠ?â
He cleared his throat. âYeah, can you⊠uh,â he turned towards the rack of tweed sets, âDo you have any new collections?âÂ
âYes, absolutely,â said another lady, âRight this way, sir.âÂ
It was easy to notice how the staff were exchanging glances at the sight of Satoru and Akemi together, but his mind was far too distracted by the nostalgia of being in that place alone to even care about his surroundings. All he did was look back at Akemi and encourage her to try out the newest collections that they had, thinking that she was oblivious about what was going through his head. âYou go and pick whatever you like.âÂ
Although she was clearly not used to it, Akemi did eventually try on some of the outfits he specifically had chosen for her. They were Chanelâs signature tweed sets that he always found to be very elegant, and he definitely wasnât wrong that they would suit her when she came out of the dressing room to show him how the clothes wrapped her small frame perfectly.Â
He could see your smile through her face, your excitement when you tried the outfits on, and the shine in your eyes when you looked at yourself in the mirror. Except, Gojou had to remind himself that you werenât her. That his mind was just messing with him.Â
No, this was wrong. Why was he thinking about you while he was with her?Â
He had to have some sort of distraction. Something so tangible that all of his senses would go numb.Â
The one way he was able to overcome that dilemma was by sharing yet another steamy exchange with Akemi later that night. He couldnât remember who initiated first, but it must have been the equal desire that they had for each other when they dove straight into a heated makeout session the moment they stepped inside his bedroom. One thing led to another. First he was kissing her lips, then her collarbones, then her inner thighsâdevouring her completely with his lust-driven actions, doing the most by pleasuring her body using his own.Â
She was a giver just as she was a receiver. Not that he didnât expect her to be so experienced when it came to sex, but she definitely knew what she was doing without any guidance from him. Perhaps he just wasnât used to it anymore. Perhaps he had just forgotten how it felt to have sex with someone who didnât rely on him to initiate the next steps they should do. Fuck, he couldnât even remember the last time someone stared at his eyes while putting his hardened member inside her mouth the way she did. She knew her power over him while at his most vulnerable state, ruining his masculine ego and destroying it with her own feminine pride.Â
And in the midst of their intimate session, Gojou was zoning out while he was sliding a condom across his shaft, ready to enter her from the back. His mind was giving him a flash of memory, not a distant but recent one from two days ago.
âI still canât believe you did that, Mom. Youâre being ridiculous.âÂ
His mother wasnât exactly showing the slightest hint of regret on her face despite knowing full well that sending the custody claim almost made you lose your mind. She was keeping a straight face as she sat on the barstool next to him, taking a sip of wine from her glass while he, on his own, was downing a glass of scotch. âShe had it coming.â
Satoru sighed his frustration away. âDonât do that again or todayâs the last time youâll ever see me.âÂ
âWhat are you talking about?â His mother frowned. âWho was there for you when you were trying to end your own life because of the lies she told you, huh? Youâre feeling bad for her now, but did she feel bad for you back then? You missed three years of your sonâs life because she was being too spiteful towards you.âÂ
He had never met someone more stubborn than his own mother, but maybe this was a clear sign for Satoru to realize where he must have acquired that one similar trait of his. After all, people always made it seem that he was more like his dad even though he despised being compared to his father. To say that his mother was a complete angel was a lie. But neither was he. âWhatever, just donât⊠Just leave Y/N alone. Sheâs still the mother of my child and I donât want us to keep fighting. At least, for Sachiâs sake.âÂ
His mother finished her glass of wine before turning the stool towards his direction. There was a minute of silence that passed between them before she spoke again. âI just donât want you to get back with her, darling. You two are toxic together.âÂ
Funny, because he could say the same thing for her and his father. âWell, itâs not gonna happen now. Y/Nâs gonna hate me forever.âÂ
âWhat, âcause she rejected you again?âÂ
âNo,â he countered, shaking his head and chugging all the remaining liquor on his glass. âShe knows about the thing I have with Akemi now.âÂ
Her mouth fell open, gasping as she did so. âY-You⊠and Akemi? Are you together?âÂ
Satoru expected this reaction from her, but didnât think she would actually be more fixated on his new relationship than the effect it would bring on her ex-daughter-in-law. âItâs not something to be proud of, Mom.âÂ
âWell, Iâm proud of you,â she still stressed that fact, âItâs nice to hear that youâre finally moving on, Satoru. Y/N is not good for you, but I know Akemi will be. I like her and I know sheâll make you a lot happier than Y/N ever did.âÂ
âYouâre still awake?â Gojou let out a yawn as he felt the heaviness of his eyelids telling him that it was time to sleep. He tried checking the time on his phone, but realized that he still had the photo of you and Sachiro as his lockscreen. He wasnât planning on changing it anytime soon, but considering that Akemi saw it, he was expecting that she would have something to say, yet nothing came out of her mouth. She simply stayed silent while laying on his chest, letting him touch the slope of her naked back as she slightly raised her head to meet his eyes. He had already closed his phone and placed it back on the nightstand. âWhat, did I not tire you enough?âÂ
âShut up.â She hid her reddened cheeks and smiled on the crook of his neck. Her hand was placed on his chest, fingers tracing his collarbones. âNo, Iâm just thinking about how youâre gonna manage New York and all.âÂ
Satoruâs breathing was still for a few seconds, keeping his eyes glued on the ceiling as he held her on your marital bed. âYouâre scared that the infamous cheater is gonna cheat on you or something?ïżœïżœ he joked, a distasteful one, but still meant to ease whatever was burdening her mind. âNot gonna happen even if weâre in an open relationship.âÂ
âThatâs not it,â Akemi quickly replied, denying his claims, âIâm more like hoping that youâll be patient with her. She gets angry a lot these days and we know weâre the main cause of it, so please. Please donât try to argue with her, okay? If she says hurtful things, learn to understand her.âÂ
He wrapped his arms tighter around her smaller frame. Gojou was certain that he was about to doze off soon now that he had closed his eyes and let the exhaustion pull him into a good nightâs sleep. âI wonât,â he spoke his words slowly, drifting off to dreamland, âI wonât make her angry.âÂ
âOkay.â He felt her lips kissing his jaw just before the both of them gradually matched the calmness of each otherâs chest. One heart, one soul, two bodies. âGood night, âToru.âÂ
âŠ
âŠ
âŠ
In the middle of his sleep, he mumbled, âGood night, Y/N.â

On the other side of the city, you woke up in the middle of your slumber, facing the handsome face of your fiancĂ©, Toji Zenâin, who had already drifted off to dreamland while holding you in his muscular arms. No wonder people were jealous of you for having such a refined man like him in your bed every night you go to sleep. The thing was, you had no reason to feel discontented with your life since you already had everything. You were wealthier than the average person, you ran a business that you were passionate about, you had an adorable son who meant the world to you, and you had Toji. There was nothing else you could ask for. And if by remembering Seraâs words back then, you would be selfish to ask for anything more because others didnât even have half the fortune you had.Â
So, in that sense, you should be happy.Â
You had to be happy.Â
You were happy, right?Â
âGo to sleep,â whispered a half-awake Toji, stirring from his sleep as he held your waist tighter like you were his comfort pillow. âYou alright?âÂ
Sighing inwardly, you traced the scar on his lips. âYouâre so gorgeous.â
His lazy, boyish smile came into view. âI know that,â he joked, closing his eyes as if succumbing into a few more minutes of sleep. âDonât tell me youâre turned on right now âcause I can go all night. Doggy. Missionary. Cowboy. Reverse cowboy.âÂ
Were you? Maybe a little. And maybe you had to have a distraction from your âsource of happinessâ.Â
âThatâs very naughty of you, Mr. Zenâin,â you replied, cheeks heating up from his vulgar words. Your hand was finding its way to his toned chest, while his were traveling to the curves of your waist and hips. You could feel him angling his body to make sure he had access to slide your underwear just a little above your knee, gliding his hand along your thigh before letting his fingers touch your sensitive bud. âT-Tojiââ
A smirk appeared on his lips. âHm? I thought you wanted this?âÂ
You nodded, taking a deep breath. âY-Yeah, IâŠâ There was no use holding back from moaning because his fingers knew how to move perfectly well, playing with your clit in circular motions before sliding two of them into your entrance. â...Fuck.â
âFeel good?â His hot breath tickled your neck, moving his mouth from your collarbones down to the valley between your breasts. âWish you knew how delicious you are.âÂ
Another moan, much louder this time around, escaped your lips when he attached his mouth onto your breast, sucking the round mass with his tongue doing Godâs work. You were so high into sexual desire that your back arched on its own, dominated by the pleasing sensation all over your body. You could barely even respond to him when he started asking why your mood had been so down when he picked you up after work or why you still wouldnât tell him whatever happened back there.Â
âItâs nothing,â you replied, disregarding the painful encounter youâve had with your ex-husband and your best friend. â...Just work stuff.âÂ
As you closed your eyes, you could feel Satoruâs fingers entering deep inside of you, deep enough to have reached your g-spot and have you moaning wildly. It felt unreal. It felt goddamn out of this world. But since Satoru was familiar with every inch of your body, his touch alone could easily send you to seventh heaven. He was heavenly. He was saintly. That mesmerizing gaze of his paired with his sky blue eyes and messy white hair. His beautiful, beautiful face, watching you beg for him to do more. More. MoreâŠ
âSatoruâŠâ
The intense feeling suddenly stopped, awakening you back to your senses as you opened your eyes and saw the dark, animalistic gaze of Toji Zenâin. âWhatâd you say?â he asked in a deep voice.Â
Out of panic, you slightly pulled away and shook your head. âN-Nothing. What did I say?â
âI thought I heard you say hisâŠâ he trailed off, pulling his fingers out of you and instead, placing a tight grip on your hip. âDid you?âÂ
âNo, no. Not at all.â Your voice came in a hushed tone, looking at his eyes intently. âWhy would I do that?âÂ
He let out an exasperated sigh, falling back into the bed with one arm under his head. âDonât play games with me, Y/N.â
Desperation led you to climb on top of him, sitting on his crotch before encasing your lips with his soft ones. âIâm not,â you mumbled, kissing him again. âI never did. I promise.âÂ
Yet, despite your attempts at inviting him for an open-mouthed kiss, he had already lost the interest to engage in sexual activities with you. He didnât say anything nor tried to argue about the shit that you said, but he did stay silent for a couple of minutes, simply holding you on top of him without another word to utter. It scared you to think what was going through Tojiâs mind, but this was also all your fault. Why, in the first place, did you even let your mind imagine that white-haired toxic ex-husband of yours when you had Toji Zenâin in front you?Â
Perhaps in this relationship, you were the toxic one.Â
You were the poison that could kill the life out of the man who only wanted to love and heal you.Â
âToji, Iâm sorryâŠâÂ
He held his breath. âShould I be concerned that youâre going on a trip with him?âÂ
âNo, itâsâŠâ Pulling away, you gave him a look of combined sincerity and denial. âWeâre just gonna fix Sachiroâs papers, you know that. We wonât even be staying in the same room.âÂ
Fixing Sachiroâs papers. Dealing with his dual citizenship. Changing his last name to Gojou. Solidifying your sonâs identity as the son of Satoru Gojou. Thatâs all there is to it. All the technical matters.Â
âIs he staying at a hotel or are you letting him stay at your apartment in Manhattan?â he asked, although there was no hint of suspicion in his voice. Or at least, he must be good at hiding it.Â
You chose to be honest. âI have to let him stay at my apartment,â was your answer, leaning your head on his shoulder. âOnly because Sachi wants his dad around all the time. Weâre just trying our best to co-parent.âÂ
Tojiâs dry humor took over. âYou sure youâre not gonna let him fuck you senseless?â His tone was laced with resentment. âAnd then youâll come home to me crying about how he got you pregnant for the second time. Youâd better kiss our marriage goodbye if that happens.âÂ
âWhat kind of person do you think I am?â you retorted, annoyed by his word of choice as if you were a cheating scumbag. âIf heâs gonna get someone pregnant, that wonât be me.âÂ
His eyes sparked with curiosity. âWhat do you mean?âÂ
Deciding between telling and not telling, you figured that the latter would only cause more drama to bounce back at you like a boomerang. âHeâs with Akemi.âÂ
It looked like Toji didnât hear it right. âAkemi? Howâd that happen?âÂ
âI donât know what kinda relationship they have, okay?â you snapped, no longer wanting to keep up with this topic further. âI just caught them. They said theyâre seeing each other, but itâs complicated or whateverâI donât really give a damn. But heâs with her is all I know.âÂ
Toji went silent for a few minutes, unable to determine whether he should find the situation pitiful or humorous. One thing for sure though, was that he found it unbelievable. âThat son of a bitch,â he muttered under his breath, smiling in disbelief, âSo this is whatâs ruining your mood these days, huh?âÂ
Your eyebrows furrowed in response. âItâs not.âÂ
âYour ex-husband slept with your best friend. Yeah, Iâd be mad, too.â His comment wasnât really meant to irk you, but he successfully did so. Minus the intention. âGetting mad is understandable, getting jealous is questionable. Which one are you?âÂ
Fuck it. âI said Iâm not jealous. Will you stop now?â You sunk yourself under the covers, turning your back on Toji. âI donât wanna talk about it.âÂ
Now that he knew and you saw his reaction, you wondered what it would be like if Gen and Ian knew. Or if your dad knew. What would they think of Satoru? What would they think of Akemi? No, nevermind that. What would they think of you? Another fool in a deck of cards? Another game that was played with?Â
You didnât want to know.Â

Ideally, you and Satoru really shouldnât have gone to this New York trip together as if your family was still intact, because as much as you wished that that was true, you were far from that. You were only playing house for the sake of your son, but that also meant putting you in a painfully awkward situation together as ex-spouses. He had a girlfriend back home and you had a loving and loyal fiancĂ© who proved the whole word that he was loyal to you. And although your respective partners were supporting the whole co-parenting situation, you knew by yourselves that this was nowhere to near to being comfortable for them, too.Â
âEverything okay?â You heard the familiar voice of your past, only to see his dull, blue eyes taking a peek at you.Â
âYeah,â you replied, almost inaudibly. You just boarded the plane while Satoru was talking to the pilot, and found your spot on one of the beds in his private jet. It took a few minutes for him to get to where you were now. âWhy?âÂ
He shrugged, eyeing a sleepy Sachiro next to you. âJust wanna make sure you and Sachi are comfortable.âÂ
You didnât know what else to say, so you just looked back at your peaceful son who was hugging his elmo plush like the cute angel he was. Even though he was growing so fast, you could still remember how he was just as small as a puppy in your arms when he was first born. The memory of it caused you to press your lips on his forehead, caressing his soft, white hair. At some point while observing the scene, your sonâs father thought it would be a good idea to slide the blanket further up your shoulders, acting as though he was only doing it to keep Sachiro warm. And later, he sat on the reclined airplane seat, drinking the coffee that was served to him by the stewardess.Â
It was crazy.Â
Crazy that Toji could be lying next to you and you would feel nothing. But Gojou was meters away from you and your mind was on a never-ending race.Â
Just before noon, the airplane landed safely at JFK airport and Satoruâs driver took you straight to Central Park Towers, treated like a V.I.P. by security just because your ex-husband was Japanâs third richest person and second most influential businessman. At times like these, you would almost forget the power Satoru held even before he was the chairman. You two were almost royalty. Now that he was leading the Gojou Group, his reputation only grew more despite the scandal of your broken marriage. He knew not to share his relationship publicly anymore nor did he expose Sachiro to any of his social media. It was a mutual decision for you to keep your son away from the spotlight knowing the scrutiny and the lack of privacy that would enter your lives once againâall the unnecessary noise, the unwanted comments, the unruly attention. Besides, for safety reasons, Sachiro had to be hidden from the public since he would become the sole heir to his fatherâs conglomerate, inheriting his parents combined assets that could one day make him the richest and most sought after bachelor in Japan.Â
âMamaaa!â A lively Sachi came running to you as soon as he entered the lobby of the apartment suites, his father following him behind.Â
âCareful, baby!â you said, standing at the lobby while talking to your housekeeper, âYou might trip.âÂ
Satoru decided to carry his son after noticing your worried expression and immediately walked towards you. He was all smiles as he looked at Sachiroâs cheerful blue eyes. âHe seems a little excited, isnât he?âÂ
âHe lived here for almost three years,â you answered, signaling a quick âthank youâ to your housekeeper before guiding your boys to the elevator. âHe mustâve missed the place. Did you, Sachi?â
âYes, mama~â
It was a little bittersweet for your ex-husband, though. Especially the moment he stepped inside the apartment, looking at every corner and realizing that it was the same place you had lived in back when he was suffering from emotional distress on the other side of the world. This apartment was where his own child grew up in and he had no idea he had even existen then. Not only did that make you a terrible ex-wife, but it also made you a heartless mother. You had separated them and now you were taking him to the place where you had his son hidden from him.Â
That wasnât your intention. That was never your intention.Â
âIâm glad you chose a nice place,â he complimented, acting as casual as possible. âDoes your father own this place or?â
âGen loaned it to me,â you said, holding Sachiroâs hand while letting Satoru follow you closely. You stopped at one of the guest rooms and urged the tall man to feel at home. âYou can stay here for the meantime.âÂ
âI donât wanna make things uncomfortable for Akemi.â He looked away, avoiding your eyes. âI can just stay at a hotelââÂ
âDada!â His mini-me tugged at his hand along with yours. You already knew that those puppy eyes would look back at the both of you. âSachi wants Dada to stay.â
Frankly, you werenât upset a while ago, but since he had to bring up Akemi and make it seem like her feelings were his priority, you lost all the will to be kind. Was their relationship that deep for him to act like such a loyal, righteous partner? Where was that same loyalty when he married you? âDo whatever.âÂ
Noticing the tension between his parents, Sachiroâs eyes started to well up with tears and that was all it took for you two to completely focus your attention back to your 3-year old.Â
âSachiâŠâ Satoru tried to reach for his son, but you (spitefully) beat him to it.Â
âItâs okay, my baby. Donât cry,â you comforted your son, picking him up and carrying him in your arms, âDaddy will still visit you every day even if he's staying at a hotel.âÂ
Satoru, as guilty as ever, shook his head and wiped his sonâs eyes. âNo. Iâll stay here for Sachi, okay? Donât cry anymore.âÂ
It felt like hours sitting on that enormous sofa, staring at the television screen even though your mind was miles away. You had already texted Toji good night and reassured him that everything was fine, but you still couldnât stop thinking about what he was doing back home. Sachiro had fallen asleep almost half an hour ago, and how you wished you could also enjoy your slumber while snuggling under those heated blankets, but how could you? How could you be comfortable in the presence of an ex-husband who was coming out of his room, freshly showered in his low-waisted sweatpants and tight-fitting black shirt? Not to mention how he was obviously flexing his arms while drying his mop of messy, white hair with a towel. Ridiculous. A little seductive, but definitely ridiculous.Â
âStill up?â His sky blue eyes met yours as soon as he looked up.Â
You adjusted your position on the sofa and leaned on the corner, pulling a small cushion to place above your thighs. âCanât sleep.âÂ
And the night went on just like that. You, sitting on the couch. Him, sitting on the other end as if going near you might suffocate him. It didnât help that the silence was beginning to be too uncomfortable. You couldnât tell what he was thinking of. Perhaps Akemi? Perhaps you? You doubted the latter.Â
âI thinkâŠâ You cleared your throat to escape from the awkward tension. âI think Iâm gonna go for a night swim. You can go to sleep next to Sachi tonight, just make sure not to wake him up.âÂ
Satoruâs curious gaze trailed on you as you got up and tightened your robe. âItâs a little too late at night to go for a swim, no?âÂ
You couldnât even face him as you responded. âI need to clear my mind off some things.â And by things, you meant him and this whole mess of a situation that you had put yourselves together. Two divorcees staying in the same living space wasnât exactly a brilliant idea to begin with.
âWant me to join you?â asked Satoru, and he himself could not believe he asked that question. He may have asked it out of his innate care for you, probably worried for no damn reason. What he didnât realize was how wrong his suggestion was, especially that you two were dating other people now.Â
If only you were such a cruel person, how ironic would it be if you allowed Satoru Gojou to join you for a quick night swim?Â
How ironic would it be for you to feel each otherâs warmth under the crystal pool, getting carried away by the romantic lights that lit the city?Â
How ironic would it be if the intense sexual tension ended with you doing things under the sheets, completely disregarding the fact that the both of you had respective partners who were overthinking this exact NYC trip?
How ironic would it be if, for once in your life, you became the cheater?Â
Thankfully, you didnât have the mindset of a cheating person.Â
However, it was Satoru who took back his initial offer. âNever mind. Forget I even asked that,â he muttered, sounding annoyed more so to himself rather than at you.Â
You offered a nonchalant shrug. âOkay.âÂ
And as you were heading to the poolside, you could sense Gojouâs presence behind even though he just very clearly rejected the idea of going on a swim with you. He was still the same confusing man that you married before. Only now, he was ten times worse. âWait, Y/N.â
âWhat?â You turned around, annoyed at his push-and-pull behavior. At this point, you didnât really care what he was thinking of anymore. All you did was to take off your robe, leaving yourself with only your underwear on before you slowly got down on the pool.Â
Gojou, on the other hand, was ridding himself of his shirt and sweatpants to join you in the pool with just his boxers on. What even was this situation? You two had that same question in your head despite swimming at the edge of the pool to stare at the cityscape. âI only asked to join you because I wanted to talk. Thatâs all.âÂ
You wanted to laugh at how he was clearing his intentions to you.Â
âWhy do you sound defensive around me?â He couldnât see it, but you were rolling your eyes as you leaned against the pool coping. âI never knew Akemi would be the jealous type.âÂ
Satoru looked surprised by your claim, seeming as though he didnât recognize the kind of person you were anymore. You were never this unreasonably sarcastic nor acidic with your words during your marriage even at the height of his affair with Sera, yet you had just become the worst version of yourself. âShe isnât,â he muttered, finding his spot next to you, âBut I donât wanna give her a reason to be.âÂ
You huffed. âDonât get ahead of yourself. You make it sound like Iâm gonna make a move on you or something.âÂ
âI never said that.âÂ
âYou were thinking about it.âÂ
âSays who?âÂ
What is it about Satoru Gojou that makes him so irritating? Was it the way he talks? The way he thinks heâs always right? The way he acts like heâs such a clean person?Â
âPlease,â you retorted, bitterly. âToji isnât comfortable having you around me, either. Just so you know.âÂ
âCan we justââ There. His last string of patience finally snapped and his true colors came to show when he grabbed your wrist and made you face him. The spiteful Satoru. He was back, even just for a second. âY/N, Iâm not trying to argue with you here. Iâm trying to talk to you like a civilized person. Youâre the mother of my child and I respect you. Iâd still care for you and will always protect you, but I want you to at least act like a fucking person around me. Youâre a grown woman.âÂ
Wasnât it bad that he, of all people, was basically telling you to grow up? Memories of your marriage and all the back-and-forth arguments that you had with him flashed before your eyes. He should be the last one to say such a thing. âYouâre the one whoâs been crossing the fucking line with me since day one, Gojou. Donât tell me toââ
âAnd do you wish I had just killed myself for you to forgive me?!â The ridges of his neck became prominent, making his anger much visible now. He was staring down at you intensely, backing you against the edge of the pool, trapping you in between his arms. âIâd have probably done that. But youâŠYou did unforgivable things to me and look how easy it was for me to forgive you.âÂ
You looked away, not trying to have this conversation again. Not trying to have your guilt eat your heart out. Maybe your behavior really had become too much and it was about time you take a step back and realize how ridiculous you had been acting because no way was this man trying to make a better point than you.Â
âI slept with Akemi, I know. Sheâs your best friend, I fucking know. But I never did that to get back at you,â his voice bore so much authority in them. âI begged on my knees just to be with you again. Swallowed my pride just for you to be my wife again!â His breathing became ragged. âBut you chose to move on. You said you love Toji. You said youâd be happier without me, so why donât I deserve to be happy without you?âÂ
The inability to speak wasnât because you were at a loss of words. The problem was choosing the right ones. Words that wouldnât put you in a disadvantageous position. Words that wouldnât make you look like an unreasonable person.Â
âYou wished me well when you first found out about Akemi and I. You said you donât care who I choose to date even if that choice is her,â he said, much calmer this time. He was placing his forehead against yours, body pressed against each other. âIf that was true, then why are you still so angry with me?âÂ
Your heart raced as you locked eyes with him. His eyes were the same kind of blue that reflected off of the surface of the pool. Anyone could easily get lost in it, but you knew where to place yourself in order not to. âIâm⊠not angryâŠâÂ
âBaby, you and I both know thatâs not true,â he said with a serious gaze, lifting your chin with his hand.Â
But you swatted it away, averting your eyes. âDonât call me baby. Youâre being ridiculous.âÂ
With a loud sigh, Gojou gave up and simply placed his forehead on your shoulder, letting you feel the weight of his head and the warmth of his breath. âIf you were still my wife, Iâd have kissed you right now,â he declared, breathing heavily as if stopping with all of his will to do what he just said. âIâd touch every inch of you, tell you how much I love you, carry you back into that room, and make more beautiful babies with youâŠâÂ
âSatoru,â you warned just as he pulled away, smiling despite the sorrow in his eyes.Â
ââŠBut I wonât do that. Iâm not gonna do that,â he claimed and sounded like he was convincing himself rather than clearing it up. âAkemi doesnât deserve a partner who canât move on from his ex-wife, so Iâm doing my best to forget about you.âÂ
Your breathing took a halt. You werenât sure where those tiny pricks in your heart came from. Toji needed the same. He deserved a wife who wasnât pining for her ex-husband. Satoru was just being true.Â
âThen, forget about me,â you gave a barely audible reply.Â
Gojou pulled away and kept his distance now, showing that he was indeed trying to stick to his words. âI will.âÂ
Why did it hurt when it shouldnât have?Â
âGood.âÂ
He looked at you with eyes that carried a million emotions. But what was most visible was him seeing the light, probably realizing that he truly was doing the right thing and that he was proud of himself for being able to resist you. Because then, that only meant he was only a few steps away from the path of moving on. That if he could let you go, then he could live a better life.Â
It only made sense why he pulled that little stunt back thereâbeing close enough to you was probably his way of differentiating how his body reacted to you versus how it reacted to Akemi. And now that he was able to determine whatever difference that might be, it would be easier for him to know what exactly to avoid.Â
After all, you two would be spending the rest of your lives as a present mom and dad to Sachiro. Co-parenting was your only connection and the only way to make that work without falling for each other was to rid yourselves of any kind of attraction towards one another.Â
Good for him.Â
âLetâs be good parents, Y/N.â Satoru looked at you from across the pool. âLetâs set a good example for Sachi and show that divorced parents can still be good parents. Letâs not be toxic to each other, especially not in front of him.â His words were coming from his personal experience and as you knew the whole history behind the mess within his family, you were truthfully considerate of his words. His traumatic experiences were what shaped him to become the problematic man you once married, and he was doing his best not to let his own son be the same. âIâll provide Sachiro with everything he needs and Iâll always be present in his life, so please let me have as much time with him as possible. Iâm making up for the three years I lost with him.âÂ
You nodded. âI donât have a problem with that.Â
As the established relationship you had with Gojou became more professional and strictly transactional, the distance between you two also grew more and more. There was no longer any space for love and intimacy. There was only familiarity and acquaintanceship.Â
âGo to sleep soon,â he said without sending another glance your way, climbing out of the pool and reaching for his clothes, âWe have a long day tomorrow.âÂ

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