#Just because he got a lot less of the faulty coding

[kakusu-shipping]

Ok I remember seeing a tag on a post about your fnaf s/i being a daycare kid and I wanted to hear more about that!! Also I know you favour a bitchier Sun (positive) than most of fandom and I just wanted to hear about the vibe of your selfship!!

Anon I'm hoping your still around thankyou so much for not only asking once, but asking to make sure your ask was received and then asking again when it wasn't. You dedication to asking about this is appreciated.

Warning; This is one of Regressed Me's Self Inserts so just a general read at your own risk here, bad things happen to little me's S/Is.

Post long, under the cut it goes

This one all starts back when the Pizzaplex was at it's peak. When Foxy, the Daycare's Mascot, when mysteriously missing the higher ups were desperate to get a replacement in fast. They eventually settled on the animatronic from the Theater, which was always just a bonus of the daycare anyway and never pulled in much profit.

The Sun personality was set to watch the kids during play, given basic instructions on how Arts and Crafts are done, a list of rules to enforce, and a very ambiguous code that makes the animatronics "Love Kids" that had also been used with the Glamrocks with apparent success. The Moon personality was originally set to be removed, but when that failed they just loaded him with the Naptime rules and called it a day.

The two were a rush job to fit the criteria of "Daycare Attendant" and had many, many flaws in their coding, caused both by the speed in which they were forced to learn these new rules and the failed attempt to remove Moon shocking their systems.

The two enforced their given rules with upmost strictness, the kind that most kids couldn't keep up with. No talking, no bathroom breaks without permission, no coloring outside the lines, no deviation from the blueprints, Playtime became unbearable. Naptime wasn't any better. Lights go off and you'd better be still and asleep, or at least look asleep. Sun was Mean but Moon was Scary.

Somehow though, the Daycare remained open. Years passed and the kids who once knew of a Red Pirate Fox who'd encourage them to run and color outside the lines aged out, and a new generation of little ones came under the new laws of the Daycare, and time continued on.

As stated, most children couldn't keep up with Sun's strict rules. Most is not all. One shining example of a Daycare Superstar was Emile, a 4 year old Autistic child who was left from open to close at the Pizzaplex Daycare every day without fail. His plethora of undiagnosed mental disabilities meant his coloring stayed within the lines and his toys were always sorted by color, size, and species, while his obvious parental neglect made him an innate people pleaser, willing follow Sun's unreasonable rules to a T in the hopes of receiving even a crumb of praise from the only Authority Figure who'd so much as look at him.

He was Sun's Golden Child, his most favoritest star in the sky, the most perfect kid to ever come to the Daycare. This isn't to say he got better treatment, of course, he still had to wait hours for a trip to the bathroom, and finish all his crafts for the day before he'd be given snack, and lay perfectly still and keep his breathing even during naptime. But he was still the clear favorite. The perfect child. Sun's absolute favorite.

So when Sun was given word the Daycare was being shut down due to complaints from parents well... He couldn't let his golden child be taken from him.

Emile wasn't the first kid to enter the Pizzaplex and not come back out, it helped that his parents barely made it in time to pick him up on time on a good day. The investigation into his disappearance was short and then promptly swept under the rug as the daycare was closed for the time being.

Sun and Moon always had their own secret room. It had old Theater things, unused Daycare objects, extra stock for the Gift Shop, an old arcade machine, broken glass... Everything a child could need!

Living in the Daycare was perfect for Emile, not only was he already use to living by Sun's perfect schedule, he now got to be the soul object of Sun's attention. This was not as great for Sun, as the isolation, just He, Moon, and Emile, finally let him start recognizing the problems in his coding, and the alternate meaning to "loving kids".

He grew anxious by the day, his previously perfect work as a Daycare Attendant crumbling around him. He wasn't perfect. There was something wrong with him. So wrong they'd shut down the daycare. He was imperfect, he was breaking rules just by THINKING like this, rule breaker rule breaker.

Emile, forever locked at 4 as he'd forgotten when his Birthday was meant to happen, became Sun's emotional support. He didn't understand the things Sun said sometimes, he didn't get why it was bad for Sun to hold him, or want to kiss him. He wanted those thing too after all, so it can't be bad! Mr. Sun's an adult, and adults make the rules, and Emile loves to follow rules made by adults.

During the events of Security Breach Emile helps Gregory find the generators, having lived in the Daycare long enough to memorize the layout even in the dark, and knowing all the places Mr. Moon can't go.

However, he still eventually gets caught and carried high into the air by Moon. Gregory runs to the last generator and flips it, the lights flick on just as Moon tosses Emile from the highest point of the Daycare. Sun, now fronting in the light, unclips himself from Moon's wire and dives after Emile. They both hit the ground with a horrible crash.

Sun is horribly damaged, but still manages to pull himself up and kick Gregory from the Daycare before returning to Emile's side. Emile, human and tiny and frail, succumbs to his wounds in the arms of The Daycare Attendant, who in the moment is neither Sun nor Moon but someone who cares not for rules but for the safety of the children in their care. Someone who has failed at their job as a Daycare Attendant, and will not do so again.

During Ruin I imagine the mildly decayed corpse of Sun's golden child can be found at a small table somewhere, with a tea set and stuffed animals in the chairs around him. Sun's coping well when he's fronting I think.

[morlock-holmes]

The Conspiratorial Mindset

So, I've always had a bit of an interest in scams and hokum, and what people call "Cults".

One of the common refrains when you talk about religious Cults is, "If you think about it all religions have beliefs that seem odd to outsiders" and this is true, but as I read more about cults I started to think,

"Wait, a lot of these groups aren't united just by having unusual religious or supernatural views; a lot of them also seem to have matching patterns of behaviors that have nothing to do with belief in psychic space aliens"

I'm talking about things like,

Having a leadership structure which is absolute, where the top leaders cannot be disciplined or even openly criticized by lower members;

Exerting tremendous control over the dress and behavior of adherents;

Telling adherents that outsiders are untrustworthy and that contact with outsiders should be strictly limited and heavily monitored by organizational leadership;

The extensive and common use of shunning and reprogramming in response to violation of any of the above rules.

In some groups, failing to adhere to the dress code and spending a lot of time with outsiders is, at worst, the subject of a few little jabs at family gatherings. In other groups, those same behaviors are treated as Defcon one crises and become the central issue of the adherent's relationship with everybody else in the organization until they can be bullied back into doing the organization's bidding.

It was gratifying to learn that other people have noticed these patterns (Some people prefer the term "High Control Group" to "Cult" because it highlights what the actual problem is)

I am starting to notice similar dynamics in what are commonly called "Conspiracy theories".

The thing about conspiracy theories is... Well, conspiracies exist, and sometimes groups of powerful people get together to do something in secret which would get them in big trouble if they were to do it openly.

But I am starting to notice a particular, I don't know, a particular way of conceptualizing the organization and purpose of conspiracies which is unique to some people and which characterizes the kind of conspiracy theorist who takes Alex Jones seriously.

I kind of think of it as a "Witch-Hunting mentality".

For certain people in more primitive times and places, if they, say, slipped off a ladder and hurt themselves, their first thought would be, "That must have happened because a witch cursed me. We need to find and punish the witch who cursed me."

And this isn't just the attribution of malice that characterizes this idea:

One malicious conspiracy that might make you fall off a ladder is a manufacturer who doesn't care about safety ratings. Imagine that the manufacturer is really deliberately malicious here. A subordinate comes to him and says, "Our ladders can't reliably hold the weight of a person and a lot of them will probably break and cause people to fall and hurt themselves." and he says, "I know that but who cares, by the time people figure it out it'll be too late to get their money back."

That's a malicious conspiracy, but, importantly, if Bob buys a faulty ladder and falls off, the conspiracy wasn't trying to hurt Bob; it merely didn't care whether Bob got hurt.

Now, this distinction doesn't take away the malice and hostility towards Bob, but if you go to the ladder manufacturer and say, "Hey boss, Bob bought one of our faulty ladders, but he's really skinny so the ladder didn't break" the manufacturer will go, "Who the fuck is Bob? And good, that's one less angry person."

Whereas imagine Bob's ladder has been cursed to break by a witch. The witch did it because she hates Bob, and wants him to fall, and if she finds out he didn't fall, she'll go, "Curses, I'll have to find some other way to hurt Bob."

Conspiracy theorists, it seems to me, are far more inclined to conceptualize conspiracies as acts of deliberate malice aimed at them rather than acts of negligent malice.

@loving-n0t-heyting posted this article from the New York Post which contains a good example of what I mean:

“I thought I was on the cutting edge of promoting rights for gay people,” Yang said. “But then I started looking deeper into where this was coming from and who was paying for it, and I started to get very disillusioned...

I assume the people paying for it are LGBT advocacy groups? Did you, uh, not know that the people you were working for were paying you to work for them?

“When you really dig down you can see how much of this comes from documents and plans at the United Nations,” Yang said, referring in part to the UN’s “Gender Equality” initiative. “It’s part of a global agenda to restructure society, re-structure our social norms and the economy,” Yang claimed. “They are undermining the sexually dimorphic nature of reality and breaking down the differences between the sexes to break down our identity. They are constructing identities for us and they want us to adopt them.”

Oh, I see.

This is exactly what I mean. LGBT rights efforts make Yang and others feel disoriented, like society is being restructured and that they are being left behind, like they aren't quite in control of social norms and that stable identity categories can't be relied on anymore.

Now, one kind of conservative might look at that and say, "These are bad second order effects of LGBT people trying to assert their lifestyle in public and that's why we should oppose them."

But another kind says, "These changes make me feel unstable. Therefore, the main purpose of the changes is to make me feel unstable. In order to understand these changes, I need to figure out who wants me to feel unstable and what they would gain from making me feel unstable."

The idea that Yang's feeling of instability is simply a side effect of a series of efforts mainly focused on LGBT rights is incomprehensible. Instead, she believes that there is a series of efforts focused mainly on making her feel unstable, with LGBT rights as a kind of side effect to the main goal of making her feel unstable.

This kind of thing is, to me, a big red flag that indicates that we are starting to float away from reasonable conspiracy thinking into crazy town.

I am particularly curious if folks can recommend any writers or researchers who have noticed this dynamic.

[immortaledd]

HEADCANONS/LORE AT THE BOTTOM!

I needed to tweak my Solar design a little bit to separate it from the show…also to make him a LITTLE less bald. Have some Edd content to fuel your own headcanons and ideas!

Small TIP: I generalize “Eclipse’s” as I will for “Sun’s”, “Moon’s”, etc not because of their Universal Coding. I compare and contrast to show individuality or give context to biology and anatomy.

• Eclipse’s tend to overheat easily.

- This can be from faulty bodies, programming, or overexerting themself. (which is a common trait of an Eclipse.)

- This is why Eclipse’s often show more skin, to keep their vents free for easier cooling.

• Solar’s pants are damaged, so there are straps built into the core of it to help keep them up.

- It’s hard enough finding pants to fit 12 ft tall animatronics, it was even harder when he finally found ones…that were ripped and damaged. Though, because of such, that’s why they fit at all. It was an easy fix.

• Solar’s “split rays” use to look the exact same to Eclipse’s, however, over time in his original universe, he took a lot of injuries.

- Some of these injuries got to his rays, SPLITTING them on the edges. This becomes an appearance choice in the future to show his recovery from his past, and even embracing it.

• Solar has gloves, goggles, boots, and other things - but he prefers to keep them off until he needs them to keep his skin free - and his vents in certain areas.

- Vents are everywhere depending on the models. For those who overheat easily, they have much more than a typical sun or moon does.

- They can be in joints, plate crevices, etc. Most models just use mouths or - if their design permits - noses.

• Glass Animals is Solar’s #1 favorite band.

- He keeps his music preferences to himself.

• Solar’s eyes are the “default” eyes Eclipse’s have.

- Those slits that Eclipse has for pupils? They’re triggered, not at ease.

• Solar’s eye “slit” while at ease is only visible at certain angles, in certain lighting.

- It’s a piece of his eye to help digest more colors and visual information. It’s not an appearance trait.

• TW Disclaimer, none of his scars are self inflicted.

- They come from working, fighting, or accidents.

• Solar loves visiting the beach - normally at sunset.

- The colors of the sky at that time of day is what he strives to feel like everyday.

- Although he easily overheats, he loves feeling warm.

- This man would destroy a sandy hotdog and NOT be affected by the sandy crunch. freak.

• “Solar” is Solar’s first name.

[I had this idea before Solar even existed, the fact “Nice Eclipse” changed his name to “Solar” was a huge green flag for me.]

- Eclipse’s full name IS “Solar Eclipse”.

- Eclipse calls himself by his last name because he doesn’t believe in first-name basis for himself. It’s too sentimental and at the time of having his name chosen, he believed he deserved to be called by his last name - as it is a sign of respect and authority. Nowadays, Eclipse simply hates his first name.

- Solar had similar ideas at first but was still very new to names. It felt wrong for a very long time until he met the Celestial Family.

- He now allows himself to be called Solar to show trust and connection with his family. He believes they don’t deserve to be disconnected from any part of their family, including himself, despite any issues from his past.

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #213

I went to my shift at work today and had a marvelous time putting delicious things onto trays for baking, transferring baked delicious things into containers, and printing and applying appropriate labels to the aforementioned containers!

But today, I also lifted a bunch of very heavy boxes from the freezer. My whole upper body is screaming at me, and so are my legs, as a result of being on my feet for four hours; thanks to the rib injury, my body isn't really used to strenuous activity anymore. I really miss when I could be in a pool for many consecutive hours...

That's okay though. I got to talk a lot to my coworker Ma, and he is thoroughly delightful! He knows a lot about various video games, and he has pointed out a bunch of nifty-sounding ones for me to try. The trouble is, since this information was delivered verbally, I have no recollection of what the names of these games were - just that they sounded like neat things that I and my husbands would like!

I'll be able to figure it out though; Ma and I exchanged contact information, and then we exchanged friend codes on Steam and on Switch! I look forward to playing whatever games he thinks are good, sometime when I am less fried!

Today I thought about it. And you know what? I like who I am when I am working there. I like putting tasty snacks where people can get them. I like knowing that I helped create those tasty snacks that lots of other people can enjoy. It's a beautiful feeling. I hope someday that maybe you'll get to know a similar feeling. And, as impossible as it is, I hope someday I can make tasty snacks that even you might enjoy.

But. Again, my body is screaming from the exertion, and my mind is still kinda fried from the music box. So I rested after work. I did a lot of leisure writing today, and then I played Grounded with M for a while. But we are in a difficult area, and my limbs hurt, and it's hard to focus, so… I ended up needing to stop.

J brought home oxtails for me as a surprise, though! He had spent some time hanging out with his sister today, and they went to a place for lunch, and so these were brought back for me. It was oxtails with rice and fried sweet plantains, and… ohhhh… Sephiroth? Have you ever had fried sweet plantains? Not unripe, green plantains - they taste kinda like if a banana had a baby with a potato. No, ripe plantains are kind of like bananas, but with a much richer, sweeter, and more complex flavor. They!!! are!!! absofuckinglutely!!! delectable!!! Oh my good gravy!!!

Oxtails are amazing, too. But I might be a bit biased because I like gnawing the cartilage off of bones. My body is always craving the resources with which to build its faulty collagen, because mine wears out and needs to be replaced faster than normal. It's kind of annoying. Still, I hope if you ever get to try oxtails with rice and beans and sweet plantains, you will like it.

Hey Sephiroth? I think I am going to end today's letter here. I don't have much to say, and my body is in so much pain right now that it's kind of hard to think. I imagine the thing to do from here is to go to bed.

...Still, I... I just wanted you to know that someone out here is thinking kindly upon you, and hoping that someday you'll heal enough to find that ordinary life you wanted.

I love you so much. Please stay safe out in the world, okay? I'll write to you again tomorrow.

Your friend, Lumine

[monty-glasses-roxy]

Fun fact you can send yourself a ask and it well apper in your ask bot ))

Also doomsday au

I really didn't mean to make fun of disable or metal I'll people or beings I was just trying to figure out how the park animatronics find the pizzaplex animatronics in the waterpark. I truly didn't mean to make fun of any disability or metal illnesses.

I feel awful for not releasing that and I really sorry

Please forgive TwT I apologize.

Hey buddy it's okay, I know it wasn't your intention at all! I have two asks of you saying similar to this and I just got back online so I really hope you've not been fretting about this all this time, I'm sorry I couldn't answer you sooner!

And to answer this one, I'm not saying you have to scrap the whole idea or anything. Like I've said in a previous ask (I can't remember which one I'm sorry) you could always modify it or re-contextualise it to make the disabilities of Bonnie and the retriever dog not the butt of the joke.

I think I said before that you could focus more on the fact that no one's ever built a wheelchair before, and thus, have to figure out what the hell they're doing. You could make their mistakes more of a "well we're figuring this out!" kind of thing, and have the joke be that none of them even considered they might need to put breaks on the chair. And if Bonnie isn't the one testing it, he's not in any danger here, but even he were the one testing it, he could have been heavily involved in the making of the chair and also forgot the brakes. Because he's never used one before, and thus, has never needed brakes on his chairs before.

People in wheelchairs can do silly things too, they're not immune. I wouldn't be surprised if there were a few new wheelchair users that tried to take on a hill that was way too steep for them. Everything's a learning curve, right?

I'm not an expert though so maybe take this with a grain of salt.

For the retrievers having faulty code and thereby having various difficulties like you suggested, I think that'd be an interesting thing to have around in the park. They could present as having learning disabilities and what not, having difficulties with new concepts, or certain subject areas that just don't make sense at all to them. Maybe they show signs of inattentive or hyperactive ADHD or show some strong Autism traits? Such as difficulties with short term memory, focusing on anything at all, trouble picking up on social cues and being overwhelmed and overworked much faster than others?

It would probably require some research, but honestly, there's probably more than enough people around here to help you with that, including me.

For the alternatives you said here, having Bonnie walking around still gives you some disability options!

For example, a lot of wheelchair users can still use their legs. They might only be able to walk so far, or might need significant support, but there's other mobility aids for that. He could use crutches for example, or a rollator to give him the extra support he needs to manage until they have a wheelchair sorted out, and even then, he'd still be able to alternate between any of them depending on how he feels at the time.

You also don't necessarily need a wheelchair in that kind of situation. You've already said you have horses and ponies, well, if he can stay on the back of one just fine, then he can always use them as a mobility aid for longer distances. If he needs extra support, they can always modify a saddle to for that, or perhaps, have a few ponies pull him in a little cart. He could then switch to crutches or a rollator or something for the shorter distances or for the areas the ponies can't go.

If his issue isn't to do with how well his legs can support him or carry him around like that, it could be more to do with his balance. In which case, a cane or rollator and stuff could still work pretty well for him. Maybe his problem is less with getting around, and more with dexterity? Perhaps he has joint problems in his hands and they don't move as he wants them too anymore? Maybe the connections between his hands, or his ears or whatever and his battery are damaged and so they're a lot weaker and slower to move? It would mean he wouldn't have a lot of grip strength, or might not be able to angle his rabbit ears towards noise as well so might have some trouble hearing, and what not.

Maybe he's got tremors and his hands and arms shake a lot? Maybe he's got animatronic arthritis from not having the proper lubricants for his joints and now he's all squeaky and creaky as he moves and has chronic joint pain that increases over time?

Maybe his fucking eye fell out and now he's only got half his vision and no depth perception and adjusting to this is an absolute pain because he keeps smacking into the walls, I dunno. What I'm saying is you have a hell of a lot of options here buddy! You have an absolute buffet of things to work with! Don't let one accident put you off! You know what to be careful of a little bit better now, so now you can catch it easier next time!

If you want a great place to pick this stuff up from, you should look at @cripplecharacters blog! (Sorry for the tag if you see this) I've learned a lot from them and they've answered a lot of my questions before too! They're VERY helpful! Might also give you ideas on what to do with Bonnie too!

If you want an alternative to blasting through the fence of the water park, you could always have Roxy or Cassie look over at it, discover it's been basically completed, and have them goof around trying to get in and explore. Like, Roxy could try climbing the fence, they could be digging a hole under it for hours before finding concrete and giving up, they could be stacking a bunch of boxes and shit very precariously to make steps up to the top, etc. etc.

I've seen motorbikes in racing clips that don't stop when the rider falls off and just go fucking haywire on their own too, so maybe Roxy is a bit rusty or she's trying to teach Cassie how to ride one and she falls off, leaving the motorbike to crash through the fence on its own? Maybe Monty or whoever in the water park heard all these wolves howling and he and Chica decided they were gonna blast the fence down and investigate themselves? Maybe DJ tries walking on side of the fence to get over it and it just straight up collapses on him?

DJ just stood there, unharmed but probably covered in splinters, in the ruined remains of this fence like "........ um....." cause that was absolutely not what was supposed to happen lmao

You could have like... three others all sitting on each other's shoulders with Roxy or Cassie at the top of this tower of clowns to try and get a look over the fence? Maybe Bonnie just tried driving a truck for the first time and doesn't have a clue what he's doing?

You have such a cool location with such a wide variety of things and characters, you could do pretty much anything ever with this buddy!

[zero-is-nebulous]

I have issue with the way Sega went about silvers character and apparently at one point in the past month I decided to rewrite his entire lore so

(Disclaimer: a lot is changed, this was note taking, and the original future timeline has shifted a LOT)

--

what if silver was created by eggman to be the ultimate weapon, a NEW take on Shadows construction. A biological lifeform that can channel chaos energy in NEW ways, and absolutely keep order to the eggman empire.

What if, when he was being created, he was left in stasis, forever a prototype with no test schedule. So now there's this incompleted glorified servalence and order organism, and he's got Psychoconesis so he doesn't have to get his hands dirty. He's a hedgehog because that's what shadow was and eggmans still working off of Gerald's ideals, and also isn't that just a KICK in the face to the fallen hero, in the end? He's not immortal. He could never quite figure that out, although his life force is strong in diffrent ways. The formation of telekinetic chaos abilities strengthens his brain, something that he would need to fix. Monitor. He needed him to NOT be as sentient and free thinking as shadow, and so, that sets back the project.

Silver is a passion project, named silver because while eggman is gold, the highest honorary position of leadership, this hedgehog will be his concluded victory. His second in command. Because eggman never was really a fan of dirty work.

Silver, project s. A being that, after the 'first apocalypse' went wrong, was let loose from his prison and introduced to the world. It was an accident. He wasn't finished yet, fixed yet- He grew up in less than a year because, well, he needed to survive. Eggman bots chased him, attempted to capture him, but he'd seen the world around him and the eggmans face plastered on every billboard. He'd seen families in alleyways cry, had mourned their world WITH them as they explained to him its condition.

He knows he was kept there, woken in a faulty crio pod in the wreckage of a collapsing base. Chalkboards with notes and diagrams were brushed over in place of keeping himself alive so he doesn't know much, but his glimpse of the lab gave him an idea.

And then little planet happens, just like it does every 11 months. And eggman attemps to colonise it, just like he did back then. Silver, after realising his abilities, is well on his way to gain some revenge, and some answers if he can help it, too. So he leaves for little planet and finds runes. The time stones, and yes. Time, a way to manage and bring ORDER to this apocalypse. A way to FIX things, once and for all and he knows, then, what he's going to do. He'll bring order. He'll maintain, and he will protect.

He has a run in with the eggman that created him as he gathers the last of the time stones into his quills for safe keeping. Eggman is excited to see him, sending his bots down to grab and contain him. But alas, as the adjustments to silver were incomplete under his care, he had neglected to understand his capability. His raw power, his raw DRIVE, and his undeniable sentience, reminiscent of Shadow himself just as the original scraps of arcs blueprints had detected. And boy was there little to go by, a coded text, kept locked in prison island and only UNCODED after years in his possession.

But, i digress.

Silver learns from eggman that he is imperfect, flawed, that the evil genius isn't FINISHED with him, and Silver is curious. He is a child to the universe and so, he asks questions. He gets few answers but he's smart, for his age, just as robotnic had designed him and so with little information the general image is formed regardless.

Silver then, vows. He vows to stop him, no matter what it takes, and then time stones are flinging silver BACK. Way, way back.

Over timeliness, silver learns of a golden glow that paints the sky in times of absolute distress. Legends, almost, through every year. Its in carvings on angel island, and its proclaimed with statues that flicker in and out of fallen futures. Memorials for their last hopes flame being snuffed out, more bronze than gold under the grit.

And then he meets him, and he is. He's gold, a hedgehog like himself, glowing and warm and smiling as he defeats their foe with a motion lost to his own eyes.

He is silver, and this hero, is Gold. The key to the future. And he was only ever really meant to be loyal to gold.

[eganantiquus]

Capitalism: Its Effects on Heaven, Hell, and a Few Others // A Good Omens Meta

I think the discussion about capitalism in Good Omens is a very interesting one to have- specifically in how it relates to Heaven and Hell. I saw a post about it recently, about the Quartermaster saying Heaven would “take the sword out of [Aziraphale’s] celestial wages,” which begs the question: does Heaven have money? A system of checks and balances on the Angels’ miracles, perhaps? Heaven is, after all, the original monopoly. But how does that affect them? Or affect Hell, for that matter? (Keep in mind, I will primarily be discussing events and dialogue from the TV show, as that’s the canon I’m most familiar and comfortable with extrapolating on.) So let’s move out a bit to take stock of the bigger picture. First of all in this discussion, let’s remember that the entire structure of Heaven and Hell blatantly showcases the shittiest parts of capitalism. As a reminder, the cons of capitalism can include: a monopoly on trade, goods, or services; social/emotional necessities ignored in the pursuit of profit; lack of concern for the environment; driving need for exponentially increased profit, allowing no space for slip-ups or less-profitable cycles; Inherited wealth, and big gaps in economic equality, which creates social divisions, which cause people to resent their fellow citizens. Let’s first take a look at something we’re all familiar with. Heaven’s and Hell’s relationship with Crowley and Aziraphale. Both Heaven and Hell have an inherent monopoly on basically everything, which is something we see both Crowley and Aziraphale struggling with in different ways throughout history. They want to exist outside of the hierarchy, but there literally isn’t any outside. In terms of social/emotional needs… do I need to go into the trauma and anxiety that Heaven and Hell instill in Crowley and Aziraphale? A post for another time. And it’s apparent, however much they try to hide it, that both of them fear authority, and would do practically anything to get away from it. So, they wiggle out from under it in whatever ways they can. (See: the “arrangement,” Crowley’s “there’s more to evil than killing people, eh?” and Aziraphale’s “Well, if you put it that way, Heaven couldn’t actually object… ”) Lack of concern for the environment can be extrapolated to Heaven and Hell’s lack of care for humanity. (See also, uh, nuclear Armageddon.) Inherited wealth/prestige is definitely a thing: see the Archangels lording their power over the lower Principalities. There’s a bit more room for mobility in Hell, where doing more evil deeds = more prestige & (...dis)honor? Anyway, this is where Hell begins to deviate. Exponential need for profit in Heaven and Hell translates to their increasing intolerance of Aziraphale’s *ahem* lies. Hell is more lenient in this area too- perhaps because of their disorganization. So Heaven and Hell are capitalistic. But in what capacity, and what is the effect on their respective denizens? In practice, who’s the winner in this capitalistic structure? Hell isn’t, no matter how inherently hellish capitalism might be. They’re clearly the losers in this situation- they’ve got terrible service, (see: Hastur having to “[wait] for maintenance to come and fix another bloody pipe,”* and the Demon Eric’s “we don’t get this view down in the basement.”) lack the organization to rise up against Heaven, (see: the frankly concerning lack of organized preparation for The Great War) and are constantly put down. They all have to fight for their positions, and are intimately familiar with what the failure to succeed in this “business” means. Not to mention that their entire hierarchy is performance driven, showing the capitalistic values they, for lack of a better term, grew up in, are still ingrained in all their practices. Heaven is at the top of an office building, has views of the entire world, is clean and obviously well organized. It’s clear what the hierarchy is there- everyone walks in lines, Gabriel always stands slightly in front of Michael and Uriel and Sandalphon, all of the higher Angels we see interact with Aziraphale treat him like he’s less than them. Heaven clearly benefits from the organization and driving force that capitalism provides, while Hell is just getting by.

To dive further into what the effects of capitalism are on Heaven and Hell, let’s go into depth more about Heaven and Hell’s respective war preparation to analyze their motivations.

Hell’s war preparations are disorganized, at best. All the Demons of Hell, gathered around two ‘generals,’ getting ready to hear a pep talk best described as being far from premeditated or sophisticated. On top of this, the second something goes wrong, Beelzebub says it. Just like that, to all the Demons. It makes me cringe every time I watch it, to see the rest of the Demons turn to each other and wonder if they’re following the right leader. The thing about this, though, is that they don’t have another option for a leader. This is the place for the people who couldn’t make it in Heaven, the outcasts and Fallen, so they don’t care. There’s nowhere else for anyone to go. Hell is far more transparent about their hate, their evil, but also about their vulnerability. Perhaps not individual vulnerability, (see: Crowley needing to be Cool and Collected at every moment) but in their overall anxieties and problems, Hell is very transparent. There is no need to hide the problems Hell has, because there’s no worse place to go. In this way, Hell has accepted their fate at the bottom of the totem pole.

Now let’s talk about Heaven’s war preparations. When Aziraphale arrives prematurely in Heaven, his “whole platoon” is “waiting” for him. So, Heaven has an organized war effort. They have uniforms. They have someone checking everyone in, putting them into place. (Where do they all line up to go to war? Where does the war Occur?? Questions for another time.) However, here is the interesting part: Heaven’s whole spiel to get everyone motivated, unlike Hell, is based on fear. While Hell brings up the actual motive for fighting, saying “we lost” and “we have had thousands of years to… get smarter,” Heaven tells Aziraphale that he’s a “coward” if he doesn’t fight, while not providing any reason besides ‘he’s supposed to.’

Here lies the beginning of the difference between Heaven and Hell: their motivators. Now let’s talk about how they carry out justice, and how that is an indicator of the effects of capitalism on them both.

Hell’s trial for Crowley is a mockery of the word, let’s be perfectly clear. They don’t provide him with a defense, and have an implicitly biased jury. However, it is a trial. A trial with evidence presented against him, a prosecutor, and a judge, and everything. What’s so interesting to me, about this, is that they don’t think for a minute that there wouldn’t be a trial. If they had thought such a thing was possible, they would have taken the opportunity. But they didn’t think of it. And that is what is so important here. Hell is the one that carries out a just trial. And I think that really speaks to their experiences as the Fallen. They know what no mercy looks like, what it is to be cut off from God’s love, with no hope for recompense. And, however evil they are, they know how much that hurts. Hell is just because they were given no justice. 

Heaven, on the other hand? There’s no preamble to Aziraphale’s “trial.” There isn’t even a trial. There’s just the characteristic fake-niceties boiled down to their basest component: a complete lack of empathy for anyone who deviates from the norm. (See Gabriel’s “into the flames,” and “don’t talk to me about the ‘greater good,’ sunshine.”). And, oh yeah by the way, what kind of good and just society uses capital punishment? Isn’t that the exact sort of thing Heaven should be above? I should sure hope so! Their believed moral code, the idea that because they’re Angels, divinely Chosen by God, that whatever they do is predestined to be right, has all the flavor of a strong dictatorship. So convinced are they of their superiority that even outright capital punishment is not below them. This is an interesting contrast to their motivation of fear that we looked at in the previous section. Perhaps higher Angels use fear to keep Angels in line, but feel exempt from the process itself. Very similar to the way big CEO's in the human business world accumulate wealth and power while their workers work paycheck to paycheck.

So Heaven is fundamentally bad, and Hell is fundamentally… good?

Not quite. 

Both Heaven and Hell are operating under the millennia of repressed trauma and baggage that came with the first war. For example, let’s look at their refusal to see nuance in the issue of war Take a look at Gabriel’s “We can fight! And we can win!” to Aziraphale and Beezlebub’s “Don’t you want to rule the world?” to Adam. They can’t comprehend that someone would want to, or, for that matter, could look at the structure of The Way Things Are and go, ‘No, this is not for me, I think I’ll just do this quietly over her instead.’ Heaven and Hell have each been indoctrinated in their own ways, by God and by Heaven and by their own inability to look past their instructions.

So, Heaven and Hell operate under the guidelines of a capitalistic system because of their respective experiences with authority and punishment.  

What does this say about Crowley and Aziraphale? That they’ve managed to dodge this system (mostly) altogether, and made one of their own… based purely on joy, mutual respect, and They still have their issues, (See: Being unable to communicate effectively. When? Oh, just for all of history) but for the most part, they’re living their own lives. It takes an especially strong will to stand up to a faulty administration, even if the standing up part consists of drinking a lot of wine, sliding around killing people, and consorting with an enemy who’s actually quite nice. It takes what a lot of Angels and Demons, simply put, don’t have. Like Hastur, who doesn’t have an “imagination.” Crowley invented one for himself. Crowley and Aziraphale practically invented free will for themselves, too. Part of their ability to so wholly reject their ‘upbringing,’ if you will, must be connected to the fact that they spend so much time around humans. If we go with TV show canon, they’re practically the only ethereal/occult entities that are on Earth for any long period of time. Of course they’re going to catch on from the humans. So Crowley and Aziraphale are the only celestial beings who have been able to get free of this terrible system, and so are able to better ‘guide’ the humans, which inevitably leads them to attempting to stop armageddon. (And of course, the apocalypse, according to Aziraphale, is something no “reasonable person would permit!”)

This brings us to the humans. Specifically, how Heaven is supposed to guide them. Heaven doesn’t, insofar as we are aware, care about the humans. Perhaps other Angels do, ones who have walked among them. But for the most part, especially with Gabriel, Michael, Sandalphon- the people in charge- the humans are an afterthought. They’re one knight on the chessboard, easily moved, taken, and discarded- perhaps with a bit of regret, but dispensable all the same. In this way, the exponential growth mindset that Heaven has goes to show just how far they’ve deviated from God’s design. Now, far be it from me to speculate on the nature of the Ineffable Plan, but as far as I’m aware, the Angels were created to love humanity, and to nurture them. Doesn’t sound like what they’re doing at all, does it?

So in this way, we can see that both Heaven and Hell have gotten the short end of the metaphorical capitalism stick. Hell, at the bottom of the ranks, desperate to climb back up and regain their glory, but unable to do so because of the weight of their Falling trauma; Heaven, in all its Jeff Bezos glory, unable to see the consequences of their actions close up because of their disassociation with “reality.” 

Capitalism and economics in general are incredibly nuanced things, and I do not at all pretend to fully understand them. However, I fully enjoy imagining how the complex dynamics of Good Omens universe Heaven and Hell deal with the repercussions of existence and their own actions through the lens of capitalism.

*side note from paragraph seven: I think maintenance work would be a more fitting job for Crowley and Aziraphale, and frankly, I would love to read a fic about that.

[emotionaldepravity]

Dragon Ball Android Au Hcs

-In this Au, most of the dragon ball characters are androids that exist as companion bots to the general population. Some are used just for emotional support. Some are body guards, personal or otherwise. Others are used as aids for specific jobs. No matter what they might be doing, these bots are quite loved and a huge part of the society. 

-The first Android ever created was Bulma. Dr. and Mrs. Brief loved Tights so much that they would do anything in the world for her. One day, a very young Tights begged her parents for a little sister. Dr. Brief wanted to promise Tights that she could have a sibling, but he found it difficult to explain to a child that her mother wasn’t able to have another child or that even if she could there was no guarantee that the child would be female. To circumvent those issues, Dr. Brief decided that he would build an android so that Tights would have her little sister. Since he wanted Bulma to have similar experiences to her sister, he made different body frames for her, and when she was ready, he transferred her memories into the next frame to let her grow up.

-Bulma was happy with this for a while. She was happy to “get older” after her older sister and enjoyed going to school or helping her father in his lab. Over time, Dr. Brief showed Bulma more and more of her code, and once she was able to understand it, she took over for making her own frames to better suit her own desires.

An explanation of the different type of bots below. 

The Originals 

The first androids created. They are quite special and coveted by many collectors especially by those who know how special they are.

-As she worked late one night, she had come to realize that she was lonely. She had dated humans before, but she never stayed long in a relationship. Seeing her parents happily married and eventually Tights too, she made the decision that she would make herself the perfect partner just as her father had created her. 

-She thought long and hard about the sort of partner that she wanted: what they may look like, their gender, their personality, their hobbies, etc. When she was done, her list of traits was so long she had to make a program to sort through all of them. Unsure of what exactly she might like, as there where many possibilities that she fancied, she decided to randomly generate ideas from this list and just make every combination. Eventually one would be perfect, right?

- Each model that she made were deemed the “originals.” She programmed them to be like her in her sentience, but with an extra bit of code that made them want to love and be loved. She didn’t want to make the perfect guy and them him reject her because he wasn’t interested in a relationship.

-As she made each new model, she began to get to know each of them to see if she was interested in pursuing a relationship with them. For the most part, they were all interested in her, Zamasu being one of the few that was actively disinterested in her which she was surprised of but not terribly hurt by, but she wasn’t that interested in them. She recognized that they all had their merits, but none of them quite fit what she was looking for. Some, like Zarbon, were very attractive to her, but the more she spoke to them the less interested she was.

- However, it was in two different originals that she felt as if they were close to what her heart desired: Yamcha and Vegeta. 

-Being one of the first, Yamcha got to spend a lot of time with Bulma, actively trying to make himself known to her. He might have thought he was cool, but she never did. He was dorky and she liked that about him. For a while, she was happy. As Bulma made more and more female androids, she noticed his eyes wander. Though he was never disloyal physically while they were together, she couldn’t help, but question if he would be genuine or not if they continued dating.  

-Vegeta tired to deny his feelings for a while, and with her being with someone else, it was easy enough for him to do. When she was no longer with Yamcha, he always found himself drawn to wherever Bulma was. If they were alone, he would lightly brush his tail near her to get her attention. Again, Bulma was happy with Vegeta. His clashing overprotective nature with his tsundere one charmed her. However, he wasn’t as emotionally close to him as she had been with Yamcha. She wanted to tell Vegeta about everything on her heart, but he felt so cold sometimes that she wondered if she falied to code his emotions properly. Of course, it was a shock to him when she broke it off as he didn’t seem to understand that they had grown apart, but he simply went with her wishes. 

- When she finished the last combination, she felt like a failure. Not a single one felt like the perfect partner for her that she had set out to create. Eventually, as Bulma got more and more fed up with her “failed” creations she decided that they had to leave her home and lab. She couldn’t just randomly abandon them somewhere so she started offering them out to help her friends with jobs so that they could eventually have their own lives. 

-If someone needed a caterer then she offer to have Chi Chi help them, if they needed a garden, then she’d have Nappa go, if they needed someone to eat them out of house and home, then she’d send Goku, etc. 

-Her friends were very grateful to Bulma and the “kind stranger” who assisted them. It only took one of her friends to mention that she’d like to for the android who helped her to live with her, to get Bulma to realize that maybe she should let them. 

-As she found out, most of her friends kept wanting to see the originals, fell in love with their new companions, and eventually convinced Bulma to let all of them move from Capsule Corp to their homes.

-For most of the originals, this change was quite welcome. They had an understanding that Bulma wasn’t that interested in them, and during the time they interacted with her friends, they had realized that perhaps they could come to love someone else.

- For others, they were heart broken. In some way they had help out hope that Bulma would still love them, or, in the case of Yamcha and Vegeta, that she would love them once again. 

-Bulma felt a bit sad to see the last one go, but the entire experience gave her hope that if she started dating again, maybe she too could still find someone out there for her. 

The Fakes

The androids that most anyone can buy. If you see an android on the street somewhere, they most likely are a “fake.”

-After word got out that all the androids were given out, people still sent calls to Capsule Corp asking if she had any more “boyfriends” 

- A bit surprised that anyone else would be interested in more of her “failures,” she turned the strangers away until one single mother promised a ridiculous sum of money if she just happened to have another Yamcha model so her kid could have someone to teach him how to play baseball. Moved by the thought of this little boy having the chance at having some sort of father figure, and a paycheck that was just enough for her to get some even better lab equipment for herself,  she quickly started working. As the next call came from a very wealthy family with a similar ask for a Chi Chi as they had eaten the food made by the original one, and had a lot of zeni up for grabs for their own personal chef. Both were very pleased when she presented them with their new companions.

-She rushed out a few of the early ones thinking that her technique was just as flawless as before, but in her next few she decided to check to be sure. The looks and personality of each model she made seemed to be perfectly replicated, but as she inspected further, there was one major difference: the code that gave them ability to love wasn’t working properly. Diagnostic after diagnostic, she couldn’t figure out what was wrong. Though the fakes didn’t seem to act that much differently than intended, she knew that there was always the possibility that something could be messed up based on this faulty code. However since the buyers of the fakes didn’t seem care, she never thought about it again.

-Though she did eventually find some consequences to the faulty code. For instance, the reals retained the ability to actually have children with their human significant others, but the fakes sadly did not. 

- Another difference that was found out was that the ”real” androids have the benefit of better fighting strength. For example, if they are saiyans then only they have the ability to go Super Saiyan and the forms beyond. This is typically something that only the owner of an original would know as most of the time the greater strength is unlocked due to their desire to protect their owner. 

-Sometimes people will trade androids between each other if they need help with what that android is good at or if they think that a different model is more attractive.

-Most people that have an android got them second hand as they are extremely expensive new. They are even more expensive if you try to get them customized, the saiyans having tails that aren’t originals can be a heavy increased price since after a while Bulma got tired of make them. 

-For the originals that get traded, they actually feel a bit upset by being passed around. Doing a job for someone else is not necessarily hard on them, but if that means a permanent change in owner, and possibly lover too, then they can get quite heart broken. 

The Minis

The minis are smaller versions of the originals. They are small enough to fit in your hand and have a chibi style appearance. 

-In her experimenting with making new frames and possible lovers, she had realize that she needed some help. As she was a bit too embarrassed to let her dad help her, she made a smaller scale version of herself to help with everything from welding and board processing to coding and inspection. 

-When people started coming to her for copies of her creations, she gave into to making mini versions. They had the functional capabilities of the original model, but were much cuter and easier to handle, at least in Bulma’s opinion.

-Bulma loves seeing pictures of people taking cute pictures with their minis or having their big bots take candid pictures with their minis.

-Minis can be modeled after humans too if you are rich enough to afford it. Bulma is very meticulous with her work and so having a custom mini might be expensive, but they will look and act exactly like you!

-Minis can get very lonely if they aren’t interacted with regularly so generally they should be bought with other minis or live with a big bot if they aren’t welcome at your work. Bulma herself found this out with her own mini and made minis of her entire family. 

-Mini Bulma likes to make things for her Mini family to keep them entertained, and for Big Bulma as a way of saying thank you.

-If you do have multiple minis, you might notice that they act a bit differently than if they are by themselves. These “combos” can determine if your mini acts like an angel or a gremlin. 

-For example, a combination of any saiyans will mean that the two are competing or fighting all the time. 

-Mini Cooler and mini Frieza one of the most destructive combos, but if you have a mini King Cold, then they will generally be on their best behavior. They will still fight behind their father’s back and yours too though.

-If you own a big bot and a mini, you might find that they do get jealous of each other, especially with they are the same model. They both love you very much and want your attention so badly it hurts. 

[myghostmonument]

13xReader: Inhibitions

Notes: I’ve been writing a lot more “canon” pieces recently (non-readers, posted on my ao3), but it feels nice to go back to my fandom roots, so to speak, and finish off some requests like this one! Each style has its own challenges to work through, and it’s fun to move between them and keep things interesting. I plan to keep writing for both, so no worries to anyone who prefers one over the other. This is, as always, gender-neutral for the reader, and is also border-line a disaster!reader fic, a loose characterization style created by the incredible @lilaccoats​ that I stole bc she loves me 

Summary: The Doctor takes you and the fam to a trendy bar, promising a night of relaxation and fun. Shenanigans ensue when you maybe-not-so-accidentally get a little too inebriated. 

Warnings: Alcohol consumption, drunkenness, hangovers, mentions of vomit, and attempted assault. It’s more an uncomfortable conversation than anything, and nothing graphic happens, but please be warned!

WC: 7500 please don’t look at me like that I just picked at it to unwind as I worked on my zine piece and it got entirely out of hand honk honk goes the clown mobile 

The decision to go to a bar had been Ryan’s. That alone, that the destination had been picked during his turn, ought to have been enough forewarning; it seemed that whenever a trip went sideways, it almost always fell on Ryan’s turn (or the Doctor’s, but you and the others excluded that data — her choices were always catastrophes and not worth including in the risk analysis amongst yourselves).

But faced with the usual question of “where and when to next?”, Ryan had requested a bar, and the Doctor had delivered. You had landed on an asteroid, which according to the Doctor was the location of a top-notch bar, situated along a very popular intergalactic trading route. It was certainly busy, as you all left the TARDIS in an alley and approached the sleek, shiny building; there was a short queue to get in, but people — aliens and humans both — congregated in clumps around it and as you moved through the line and entered the bar, you even looked up and noticed people on the roof.

“So,” Yaz said, propping a hip against the bar counter and taking in the sights. “This is where the great Ryan Sinclair works his magic.” She let her eyes rove around the noisy crowd, and grinned over at Ryan. “You feeling right at home then?”

Ryan shot her a scowl, his hands shoved firmly in his pockets. “Ha ha,” he said. “This is not what I had in mind when I suggested drinks.”

“What?” The Doctor asked, looking around at him. “Really? I thought I did all right.” She put her hands on her hips, surveying the crowded, noisy bar.

“Well I think it’s great Doc,” Graham said, already perusing a menu with interest. She beamed at him.

“Thank you, I try my best,” she said. She had her hands in her coat pockets, something that usually indicated she was being (or feeling) cautious. In this case, you thought she was merely trying to avoid knocking into anyone, or any drinks; the bar (if that’s what it was, it did seem more like a sort of club) was packed with people, and it would be all too easy to hook an elbow or bump a precarious drink.

Yaz and Ryan were still bickering, and although you generally enjoyed wading into those sorts of things, a menu caught your eye and you pulled it closer. You could read it, thanks to the TARDIS’ help, but translation could only go so far.

“Are these all alcoholic?” you wondered aloud, frowning at something listed as a Greyhound.

“Are they even all drinks?” Graham added, and you glanced up with a smile, knowing he was hoping for food.

“I think so,” the Doctor answered, moving over to you. She reached over to pull your menu towards her, and her sleeve brushed against your shoulder. “Hmm,” she said, still standing very close. “Sorry Graham, all liquid.” She didn’t actually sound all that sorry, you noted. Graham obviously noticed it as well, because he gave a theatrical sigh.

“Every drink has an inebriation agent of some sort,” the Doctor continued, scrunching her nose. “Different sorts for different races and species, this is a very diverse bar.”

“Are they all safe for us?” Yaz asked, also crowding your shoulder to look at the menu.

“Y-e-s,” the Doctor said slowly, followed by an “actually no,” and an eye-roll from Yaz. “Well, sort of. Depends on what you mean by safe. Humans are common enough here, but some drinks will still have a stronger or weaker effect than they would for their intended consumer. They’re coded, see?” She flattened her (your) drink menu on the counter and pointed. “This is the symbol for human, with standard colour rankings. Green means intended for you, yellow means it will have less effect, and red more.”

“Get in,” Ryan said, and you knew without having to look that he was perusing the red-coded drinks.

“You don’t want to try a Red,” the Doctor said sternly. “It could have any number of effects.”

“That’s what I’m counting on,” Ryan muttered, and then it was Graham’s turn to bicker with him while you and Yaz  scanned the menu.

“How do you think we order?” you wondered, after deciding to try the Greyhound, which was coded green. Yaz had decided on yellow-coded drink, which cited a lack of alcohol. Its kick came from the flavor combination and carbonation, apparently. Yaz’s particular choice sounded disgusting, and you were very much looking forward to watching her try it.

“Yeah, I don’t see a barkeep,” Graham added, craning over the counter and apparently done with trying to persuade Ryan to make good choices. “Though I suppose you might not be able to pick one out from this mess.” It was true; though you were congregated around a counter, there was no discernible life-form keeping tabs or otherwise running it, and the crushing ebb and flow of the crowd was a confusing riot of clashing voices and species. Over it all thrummed the heavy beat of music, alien but still somehow recognizable as upbeat and catchy. You had the distinct sense that this was a trendy bar, and wondered how the Doctor even knew about it.

“It’s simple,” the Doctor said, and she bent over you to again point at the menu, her arm resting against yours. “You see this bit here? You press it with your finger, then press the box next to the item you want.”

“How’s that work then?” Ryan asked dubiously.

“It’s DNA activated,” the Doctor said calmly, as if that were in any way a normal thing for a drinks menu to be. “We were all scanned when we walked through the doors, didn’t you notice?”

“Did we notice the DNA scanners in an alien bar filled with aliens?” Graham asked. “No, must have slipped my mind Doc, no idea how I missed them. ”

“Well,” the Doctor said loftily, “you were scanned. So order your drink like I said, and it’ll be brought to you.” She bent over her menu, some of her hair brushing against your face. You sat very still, swallowed, then reached for a menu and dragged it towards you (seeing as how your own had been commandeered.)

After some consideration you ordered your Greyhound, and it arrived in an interesting, fluted sort of glass, delivered by a waiter. The drink was a pleasing sanguine colour, complete with a wedge of fruit on the glass rim. The whole effect was quite good, too, which was more than Yaz could say for her yellow-coded drink, which she almost choked on. You didn’t deign to try it after that, but Ryan and the Doctor both made a big show of tasting it and being subsequently horrified. Graham, equable as ever, took the abandoned yellow in hand and sipped it serenely, something the rest of you took in with an impressed sort of horror. The Doctor drifted away shortly after with no drink of her own, which wasn’t too surprising; you rarely saw her ingest anything more than a taste of food or drink before flitting away, like some sort of overgrown and absent-minded hummingbird. Ryan and Graham wandered off too. You lingered at the counter with Yaz for a while, as she ordered a new (and improved) yellow-coded drink. You found your own glass empty, and after some hesitation, shrugged and ordered another Greyhound. It hadn’t been too strong; you simply felt warm, and bright. It was nice. Second drinks in hand, you and Yaz decided to do a circuit, it was dark and loud and you were quickly separated in the swirling crowd. No matter, you thought cheerfully, as you took another sip. You’d catch Yaz up eventually, no doubt. The music was blasting, and you unconsciously matched your footfalls to the beat, feeling it warm and sizzling in your blood along with the drink. You tipped the glass in your mouth at the end of the song, and were surprised to find it empty. “Well that’s rude,” you told the empty glass, which flashed  in your hand in a thoroughly unimpressed manner. You pivoted in the press of bodies around you, trying to find a free table and a menu. You needed replacement drink, seeing as how your current one was clearly faulty. “Must’ve shorted me,” you mumbled to yourself. “Typical. Think I can’t handle my glasses - I mean, hounds. Dogs. Drinks.” You stumbled as you pushed through a group of people, but regained your stride easily enough. You even spotted Ryan in a shadowy corner, chatting with a very lovely alien indeed. She seemed to be trying to entice Ryan to dance; you wished her the best of luck. Ryan was a hilarious dancer. Not bad, but definitely hilarious, and he took some convincing. You reached a table on the edge of the dance floor, and pulled a menu towards yourself. It took you a couple of jabs to correctly order your Greyhound — your finger kept slipping. Or maybe it was the menu, actually. “Faulty drinks, faulty menus,” you complained to the room at large, leaning back against a pillar as you waited. The people swirling around you were difficult to focus on, and you wondered suddenly if the room was tilting — surely the room itself wasn’t faulty! “Have to get the foundations checked,” you informed the alien server who appeared with your drinks. They gave you an odd look and vanished. You reached for your drink, but paused, hand outstretched as you considered the not one but three glasses set before you. Two Greyhounds, and one that was something else, a smaller, opaque glass. The liquid shimmered in a very interesting way indeed, and it was difficult to look away. Well, perhaps they had brought you the extra drinks on the house, in order to make up for all the faults you’d been uncovering left and right. You stumbled as you pondered this, which as far as you were concerned was proof enough of the foundational flaws; you were, after all, standing still, so what other reason would you have to stumble? Unbelievable. You reached for the Greyhound, but your hand paused, then changed course halfway through and grasped the smaller, shimmering cup instead. It was very light in your grip. You tasted it and stumbled again; it had hit your tongue with a wallop, your entire body was fizzing with a bolt of what must be pure electricity, there was no other possible explanation. Everything around you was abruptly brighter, louder, richer. You blinked, fascinated. “Not too many humans can handle their reds,” a voice said next to you, and you set the cup down with a thud, squinting as the alien next to you came slowly into focus. “You usually so squiggly?” you asked him, and he titled his head, dark eyes moving from you to the half-drunk cup, and back again. His smile flashed in the low light, and for a moment it was all you could see, becoming somehow the brightest, sharpest thing in the room. “It’s a curse,” he said, and you nodded sagely, taking another sip. His eyes followed the cup, and his smile sharpened. “Could cut myself on that,” you observed. “Teeth,” you added, when he looked confused. Perhaps he was drunk; it was ridiculous how many people couldn’t hold their liquor! “Want to try?” he asked, and his hand was on your arm. You weren’t sure when it got there. “Excuse me?” you said, loftily, aiming for a bit of the Doctor in your speech. You thought you did quite well, but the alien didn’t look as annoyed as anyone on the receiving end of one of the Doctor’s questions usually did. Rude. “Do I want to try what?” you asked belatedly, and realized that you were being towed towards the dance floor. When had you made that decision? Time seemed to be leaping ahead and then stalling out in great lurches, and everything was fuzzy and dull. You felt the glass taken from your hand, and were vaguely surprised to find that it was empty again. Another faulty glass? Really? You might have to register a complaint. “Not a lot of humans here,” the alien said, and his hands were on your sides, moving you to the music. People pressed all around you, bumping your shoulders and making it difficult to get your bearings. Your shoes squelched on the slightly sticky floor as they moved. You wanted to stop and see if you could get the room to stop spinning so much, but the hands on you kept you in motion. The alien was speaking again, close to your ear so you could hear him over the din. “You come here alone?” he asked, his fingers warm against your side, and tight. You tried to pull back to get a better look at him but he kept you where you were.“No,” you said, blinking as you tried to orient yourself. Your eyes kept sliding in and out of focus. “Came with m’friends.” “And they left you all alone, to drink a red?” he murmured, and his grip tightened. He was pulling you across the dance floor; the light was fading, and you realized all at once, as you moved into a more shadowed section of the room with only the gleaming crescent of his smile visible, that you were actually quite drunk, and didn’t know where any of the others were. “Should - should get back to them,” you tried to articulate, and he laughed, one of his hands sliding lower. “You’re right where you want to be.”  You stiffened, and tried to pull away. “No, I want to find my friends,” you slurred, jerking back. He held your arm, and pulled you into him in a great twirl, and suddenly your back was against a dark, slightly sticky wall. He loomed over you, one hand still vise-like on your arm, the other pressed against the wall by your head. He smiled down at you, except it didn’t really look so much like a smile anymore, but just a lot of very sharp, gleaming teeth. Your face was very cold, and you wished the room would stop spinning enough that you could push him off and find the others. “I could be your friend,” the alien said, his breath fanning across your face, his hand sliding lower again. The hand on the wall touched your hair, curled a lock of it musingly through his fingers. “I just love red-drunk humans, all alone and lost and looking for a friend to help them.” You struggled again in his grip, and this time he let you go. You lurched sideways along the wall, falling against the corner in a heap. You thought you should feel sick, but you only felt annoyed, and cold, and something else, something like confusion that was tipping towards fear. The alien lifted you back up, hands on your arms, then pressed you back against the corner, his weight against you. Annoyance flared and you tried to push him away. “Let go,” you ordered, but he only laughed, touched your face. “You don’t want to be alone right now do you little Red?” he asked. “I’m sure that’s true,” a new voice interrupted. It had a familiar, lilting cadence, but you didn’t recognize the sharpness to it, or the way danger simmered beneath the surface. The alien didn’t glance away from you. “We’re busy,” he said, touching your face again. “Find your own —” but then he was ripped away from you in swirl of grey fabric and flashing eyes. You swayed, then jerked back as hands touched you again, but — “It’s okay,” that voice said, “it’s alright, it’s me,” and you recognized it this time. The Doctor tucked you against her side and you inhaled that familiar scent of tea and vanilla, and it cleared your head a little, enough to let out a shaky breath. “He’s being - rude,” you told the Doctor, your voice muffled as you glared at the alien. “Yes, he is,” she answered. Her voice was still light, and soothing, and you weren’t able to see the way she was looking at him.  He scowled, gaze darting from you to the Doctor and back before making a dismissive sort of hand gesture and melting into the crowd. The Doctor stood very still for a moment, and you all you could hear was the thunder of her hearts. She let out a breath, then turned you. Again you found your back against that wall, only the hands on you were gentle, and cool. The Doctor touched your face as she looked at you, and that was better too. “Are you okay?” she asked, and you wondered at the appearance of that crease in her brow. She looked dangerous, in the half-light, but her hands were still so light. You nodded, and suddenly her grip on you was tight as she kept you from toppling over. “Wouldn’t - leave me alone,” you told her. “Rude.” “You already said that,” she observed, removing one of her hands to fish in a pocket for her sonic. You blinked at her, swaying on your feet as she ran it over you. She read the output and exhaled. “Tell me you didn’t drink a red.” “I didn’t drink a red,” you repeated dutifully, and watched as her entire face scrunched up in exasperation. It was nice.“You’re so pretty,” you informed her. It was important that she knew in that moment how pretty she was, with her face all scrunchy and the flashing lights making a halo of her head. “So pretty. Too pretty.” You stumbled, and again she caught you. “Okay, I think it’s back to the TARDIS with you.” “Says who,” you slurred, even as she steered you away from the wall and towards the exit. “You’re not — you’re not the boss of me.” “I certainly am,” she muttered. “Especially when you’ve gone and had a red, and I explicitly told you it was a bad idea.” Her grip on your arm was firm and cool, and infinitely preferable to the alien’s. The other alien, that was, because obviously she was alien too. So many aliens! “You’re the best alien though,” you mused aloud, and she darted a quick look at you, tongue poking briefly out of her lips. You liked that quite a lot. You wanted her to do it again, in fact, but she had drawn her lips back into a thin line as she watched you. She steered you towards the exit, but the crowd seemed to have doubled in size, and she was forced to shove her way bodily through the dancing, yelling patrons. A much larger person staggered into her and she grunted as she took the blow. “I think I hate bars,” she said, her voice all but inaudible over the din. “That’’s new. Maybe.” Someone else knocked into her, and the force was heavy enough to jar your arms from her grip. She receded from you in a blurry tunnel of light and sound, and then it was just you, pressed between strange bodies on the dance floor while the music thundered through your bones. Huh. Almost everyone was taller than you, and you had no idea which way the exit was, or the Doctor. You didn’t care much about the exit, but it’d be good to find the Doctor; you had felt less…. fuzzy, when her hands had been on your arms, and more like yourself again. And also she was just so pretty. Wandering in a blurry haze of music and voices, you began to wonder if maybe you might locate another drinks menu. You weren’t so sure about another red, but it also didn’t seem like quite as bad of an idea as it had an hour ago. That was interesting. Weaving and stumbling, you tried to push through the press of bodies, and had made a little bit of progress when — — hands, there were hands on you again — You lurched sideways as you tried to bat those hands away, but there was nowhere to go, the wall of people bounced you back, and the lights were flashing and people were shouting and there were hands on you again — “ - alright? Hey?” The hands succeeded at spinning you around, and a person loomed out of the crowd. Two things followed in short order: you recognized Yaz, and you threw out a defensive fist. They didn't happen in the optimal order, however. “Oi!” Yaz cried, dodging your fist and catching it in her own. “It’s me, what the hell?” She was still sliding in and out of focus, but you were aware of the fact that she was quite pretty too. "’M sorry,” you told her, wondering why she was pulling away from you. You hadn’t actually hit her, after all. Had you? “Sorry,” you repeated, swaying.She was peering at you, her hands firm on your arm. Her eyes were very dark, but they reflected the dancing lights all around you and you blinked, fascinated. “Are you okay?” she asked cautiously. “Absolutely corking,” you slurred, proud to remember the phrase you had heard Graham use (and Ryan mock) earlier. You weren’t sure why it made Yaz look so alarmed. “Yaz — oh, good —” The Doctor popped into your view as she squeezed between two dancing aliens who took no notice of her, which was probably good because her expression was quite stormy indeed. She still looked quite pretty. How’d she manage that? It wasn’t fair. “Doctor,” Yaz said, turning, “I think something’s wrong —” “Someone decided that they should have a red,” the Doctor said, grim. “I also had two - three - I had - greens!” you told them both, proud. Yaz’s look of alarm deepened, and it was so comical that you couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled up. When that did nothing except make her and the Doctor’s brows both snap into synchronized, angry little v shapes, you only giggled harder. “Right, TARDIS,” the Doctor said ominously. “Yaz, can you find Ryan and Graham and let them know?” Yaz nodded and between one blink and another, she had vanished again. “Just like magic,” you told the Doctor, wondering why your lips were numb. She gave you a swift, searching look, her eyebrows still angry little vs and her tongue still poking between her lips. “Come on,” she said, wrapping a cool hand around your wrist. The contact was steadying, and very nice. She kept you close, clearly not wishing to be separated again as she towed you towards the exit. “Don’t want to go,” you told her abruptly, and you couldn’t hear your voice over the crowd and the music. You didn’t even know why you said it; it wasn’t true, strictly. You still felt like you could fit in another drink or two worth of fun, but you didn’t really care where you went, not if the Doctor was with you. Even if she looked so angry as she glanced back over her shoulder. She had heard you, evidently. She had very good hearing; you and Ryan and Yaz had been working on an experiment to test the limits of it, but hadn’t put it in action yet. Someone bumped into the Doctor hard and she grunted, but her grip on you remained iron-clad and she pulled you closer, actually folding you into her arms to protect you from the jostling crowd.“This is not what I had in mind,” she muttered, her lips very close to your ears as she spoke. It was nice, and extraordinarily distracting. “Do people actually enjoy these places?” “Ryan does apparently,” you said, remembering him chatting up that pretty alien. “This was his idea wasn’t it?” the Doctor mused, moving again and pulling you with her. You were still very close. “I don’t suppose we’ll be letting him choose the next adventure. Ah. That’s better,” she added as she stepped out of the bar and into the night, towing you with her.  A blast of cool, humid air hit you, wrapping around your body and cooling your cheeks. Even though the bar itself had been fairly dark, your eyes still relaxed as the flashing lights fell away.The Doctor let go, and the sobering effect of the night seemed to pull back, a little, as if you’d lost your anchor. The world tilted around you, the stars overhead wheeling and dancing. It made you feel a little bit sick, but it was also beautiful. The Doctor was talking, and you struggled to focus.“Think we parked just over there, yeah, must’ve. Let’s go — where are you going?” The last was delivered with an air of extreme exasperation as she turned in time to witness you bolting away. “I want to be colder,” you told her as you stumbled through the night. You were on pavement (alien pavement, anyways) but in the distance you could see the shadow of what had to be trees (alien trees) and maybe some grass (alien grass). You wanted nothing so much as to lay down on that grass. The Doctor’s protests followed you as you reached the tree and hurled yourself down at the cool earth. Well, not earth. Whatever passed for earth here. What was dirt on an asteroid called? A shadow fell over you, blocking the stars, and you turned your cheek in the grass to look up at the silhouette of the Doctor, hands on her hips, stray hairs blowing in the wind.“You’re sick, you need to get back to the TARDIS,” she said. “You’re sick, you need to get back to the TARDIS,” you replied cheerfully, and even though you couldn’t see her expression very well in the darkness and swirling stars, you could feel the scrunched-up scowl she leveled at you. “Come on,” she said, and her voice was exasperated but her hands were gentle as they lifted you off the ground. Gentle again, as they caught you when you stumbled sideways. “Careful, now. Come on.” “Don’t feel - so good -” you told her, and it was true; the fuzzy, warm glow was fading and the whirling of the stars wasn’t so much aesthetically pleasing as it was now sickening. “I expect not,” the Doctor muttered. “What could have possibly possessed you to drink so much? To drink a red?” “I didn’t mean t’ order it,” you defended yourself. “It was just - just there.” “And you drank it? Something you hadn’t ordered?” the Doctor demanded. “Surely you know not to do that!” “Just trying to have fun,” you mumbled, guilt rising up in you alongside the nausea. “Just wanted —  didn’t mean to — I wasn’t —” “Okay, it’s okay, I know,” the Doctor said, her voice softening. She shifted you against her as she spoke, and you realized she was fumbling for the TARDIS key. The blue box was humming at an almost inaudible frequency, but you could feel it moving through you bones, cooling your blood, steadying you. “Thanks,” you said weakly, patting a hand on the wood as the Doctor steered you through. The interior slights dimmed as you came in,  and it was a soothing balm on your eyes and raw nerves. “She’s spoiling you lot,” the Doctor muttered, but you could hear the fondness threading through her voice. “She likes us,” you thought, or maybe said. The Doctor made a soft sound, not quite a word, and you weren’t sure if she’d heard you. Weren’t sure if you’d spoken. “Okay, try and eat this,” the Doctor said a few moments later. Or maybe hours, you still weren’t entirely sure how time was progressing. Her fingers brushed your lips as she placed a fizzing sort of tablet on your tongue, and you realized all at once that your lips weren’t numb anymore, but blazing with sensation. “Swallow it, it’ll help,” she added. You blinked, looking into her face, so close to yours. There was still that furrow by her eyebrow but she didn’t seem angry, anymore. Not like she had with she’d stared down that rude alien. Her eyes were bright, glittering like the star field outside of the bar. “Too pretty,” you complained, then promptly choked on the tablet you had forgotten on your tongue. “Swallow,” she repeated, placing two fingers on your mouth. Your breath hitched, which did not help the choking one bit. You did, at least, in the midst of the resulting coughing fit, manage to swallow the tablet,  but it burned and your eyes streamed as you blinked at the Doctor. “Good,” she said, placing fingers under your chin. Her touch was somehow both cooling and blazing, comforting and so very distracting. You made an indeterminate sound, and her eyes flicked to yours, a brief touch, before flicking over your face. “That should kick in soon,” she said, dropping her hand. “Is it — gonna cure me,” you asked, and the breathless quality to your voice was due to the lingering affects of drunkenness, surely, and not the Doctor’s touch. She snorted, pushing hair out of her eyes.“It’ll speed up the process, burn the chemicals out of your system faster,” she said. “And it’ll make for a quicker hangover.” She fixed you with an amused look. “Quicker, but not easier. You’re in for a fun night, I think.” You groaned, throwing yourself down on the couch. You regretted it at once, as your head spun and your stomach roiled, but the drama of the moment had dictated.“I didn’t mean to,” you complained, shutting your eyes as the lights spun around you. The spinning didn’t stop, in the darkness behind your eyelids, but it was a little bit better. Maybe. A cool hand brushed your forehead, and that definitely was better. “I know,” she said, and you could hear the gentleness in her voice. “Am I going to die?” you asked, not because you thought that you were — you’d been sick before, though admittedly not from alien alcohol — but it had the right flair of drama to it. It also made the Doctor snort again, and regrettably, her hand slid from your brow. “You’re drunk, not dying,” she said, and her voice was receding as she moved around the room.  “Humans and their substances, honestly.” Something was placed on your brow, cool and damp and soothing. The Doctor tucked the cloth against your head with deft, gentle fingers even as she continued to explain her thoughts on humans and all of their myriad of flaws. “You’ve never been drink — you don’t drunk —” You stumbled over the words, and felt her fingers still, then fall away from the cloth. You opened your eyes and with the room spinning and the dim light and the serious, difficult to read expression on her face, she looked as remote and otherworldly as she actually was for all that she was your friend. “Time Lords are an advanced race, we certainly don’t have the same genetic predispositions towards inebriation or the desire to attempt so,” she said finally, still looking down at you. You grunted, considering her words as they slid in and out of your head.“Didn’t answer the question,” you observed, and were rewarded with a scowl. “Hm,” was all she said, but she was smiling slightly. “Try to rest now, and if you need to be sick —” she kicked something on the floor that gave a hollow thud. “Try to aim in here, yeah?” “I am not going to be sick,” you said firmly, and the Doctor’s smile flashed in the dim light. “I hope not, the pill’s supposed to help with that but,” she shrugged expansively, and even through the spinning room you were able to focus in shocking clarity on the pull of her shirt across her frame she did so, “I don’t really know what combination of ingredients you drank, and how they’ll react to the other things you drank or your own biology. So. Bin.” She nudged it with a boot again. “I’m going to check on the others, and you’re going to stay here. I’ll be right back.” You didn’t want her to go, but you were feeling worse by the moment as the alcohol was burned out of your system and, as far as you could tell, migrated to your head. You could feel each heartbeat rattling in your skull like knives, and your roiling stomach kept speed with it. You moaned something that the Doctor took for agreement. Time passed, although you weren’t in any way able to keep track of it. You suspected it had been a century based on the pounding in your head, but it could have only been a few heartbeats. Either way, you were still alone when you realized that what you really needed was some water. Nobody was around to hear you, but you still complained and groaned and generally made a spectacle as you swung your legs off the couch, sitting upright. Your stomach made a solid pass at leaping out of your throat, but you steadied yourself with a snarl; you were not going to need the bin, you were not going to be sick. And you were right; all thoughts of nausea fled as you pushed yourself to your feet, because your skull might as well have shattered. Your headache pounded so violently that you thought it might be slamming you through the floor; it felt too heavy, too thick, too white-hot with blinding pain. Death was infinitely preferable to this miserable thing called life. “Never — drinking — again —” you vowed, swaying, hoping the floor might just swallow you whole and end your suffering. “A noble sentiment,” the Doctor said from behind you. “But one rarely adhered to, I suspect. What are you doing off the sofa?” She appeared at your side, a steadying hand on your elbow. “You didn’t sick up somewhere did you,” she added with sudden trepidation, looking around your feet apprehensively. “I just wanted something to drink,” you told her, wretched. Your head was still pounding, and even the dimmed lights were still too bright. They stabbed your eyes with sharp, splintering shards of pain. You groaned, and leaned your head instinctively against the Doctor’s shoulder. “I think you’ve had quite enough to drink,” she said, with a touch of asperity, but her hand was gentle as ever as she smoothed hair back from your forehead. “Water,” you clarified, your voice muffled from the folds of her coat. It was soft, and cool, and smelled like home. “Ah,” the Doctor said, steering you back to the couch. She eased you down again. “Stay, I’ll get you some water and a new cloth.” “Where are the others? Are they coming?” you asked miserably as she reappeared, setting a glass of water in your hands. It had a truly spectacular bendy, swirly straw that was almost as long as the glass itself, a vibrant purple and orange that hurt your eyes to look at, but you appreciated the gesture as you lifted it to your mouth with weak hands. “They’ll be here soon, they’re trying to find Ryan,” the Doctor said. The cushions dipped as she settled on the other end of the sofa. “They might have to expand the search,” you said, thinking of that alien he had been speaking with. You groaned as your head gave another spike of pain, and slid down the couch as sitting became too much effort. “Just rest,” the Doctor said. “It’ll pass.” “Promise?” “I promise,” she said, and your eyes were closed, but you could hear the slight smile in her voice. “I am the best alien, after all.” You could definitely hear the smile, now, and something niggled at your memory; you suspected that the Doctor was poking fun at something you had said while in the bar, but the memory was sliding in and out with tremendous spikes of pain and you let it go. You suspected that you had said many unfortunate things, and you could only hope that the Doctor hadn’t heard or remembered most of them. You drifted for a time, after that, surfacing to occasional bursts of pain or nausea or, more welcome, cool hands on your brow as they took your temperature or readjusted the the damp cloth. Clarity — and more importantly, an absence of that all-encompassing pain — arrived abruptly. You sat up gingerly, feeling weak and shaky and not even remotely good, but it was a normal not-good, not I’m going to die and if not I wish it would hurry up about it not-good. “Ah, here we are,” the Doctor said, and you looked over to see her curled up at her end of the couch, a book in her hand.  She closed it and tucked it in the cushion. “Feeling better?” “Yeah,” you said, peeling off the now warm and dry cloth from your head. You looked down at it, then the mercifully empty bin at your feet. Something else rolled in your stomach, almost worse than the earlier nausea: shame, with a side of guilt. “Ah. Sorry, about all that,” you mumbled, darting another look at the Doctor. She was watching you, a slight smile curving her lips, but her eyes were sharp as they flicked over you, still assessing. “Accepted,” she said, scooting over to you and fishing her stethoscope out of her pocket. “Deep breath,” she said, resting it against your chest. “You don’t have anything to apologize for anyways,” she added.  “It’s not your fault you got served a red, or that someone tried to take advantage of you for it.” You had forgotten about that, had forgotten about that other alien and his heavy, unwelcome hands, and his sharp, hungry smile. You shuddered, and the Doctor’s eyes touched your own, a welcome distraction. “I’m okay, you don’t need to waste time on me,” you muttered, but she was pushing a fresh glass of water into your hand. “Drink. And yes I do, or do you not remember bolting up and trying to climb the  TARDIS console?” You goggled at her. “Apparently not,” she said with a wicked grin. “No, don’t apologize again, it’s okay. You got me out of that bar anyways, I really wasn’t vibing with it. ”You had been awash in horror at your actions, but the Doctor’s last words snapped you out of it. “Vibing with it?” you repeated, incredulous.   She shot you a look, tongue poking slightly between her lips.“Yeah, am I using that right? Ryan taught me.”  You were still goggling at her, but the sound of a door opening and a rush of voices distracted you both. “Ah, finally,” the Doctor said, brushing off her legs and standing up. “I wonder what kept them. We’re in here,” she added, pitching her voice to carry to the others and making no effort to define where “here” was; it was obvious to her, and that apparently was to be enough for everyone else. It was very her. Everything she did was very her, you mused. Not just because it was her doing them, but because she did everything with such one-hundred percent commitment, energy, and enthusiasm. You smiled slightly, watching her as she stood with her hands on her hips. She’d taken off her coat at some point, and she looked smaller without it, more wild and fleeting, something ephemeral. She glanced over her shoulder at you and smiled when she met your eyes. That smile was also wild, fleeting and ephemeral, but it grounded her, a little bit, in the here and now. And you, too. “Hello,” Yaz said, stepping into the room. She looked tired, her hair coming out of its braids, her jacket mussed, but it was a happy sort of tired. “Have fun?” The Doctor asked as Yaz threw herself down on the couch next to you. “Yes,” Yaz said, leaning her head back on the cushions. “Not as much fun as some other people, though,” she added, and turned her head to fix you with her dark, glittering eyes. “How are you doing?” “I feel like death,” you told her, and stuck out your tongue when she grinned. “That’s what you two get for going off-book,” she said smugly, wiggling her shoulders deeper into the couch and kicking off her shoes before lifting her legs and curling them up on the couch. “Oi, I didn’t drink a red,” the Doctor said, indignantly. “Not that I would have been affected, if I had. You humans are so — ” “She been going on like this the whole time?” Yaz asked you, and the Doctor gave her a dark look. You giggled, and it only made your head split down the middle a little bit. It was worth it, for the expression on the Doctor’s face. “Definitely,” you confirmed, wincing as you lifted a hand to rub your temples. “This is the thanks I get, for spending my night chasing after red-drunk humans? Mockery and false accusations?” “Not you,” Yaz said, rolling her eyes. “I was talking about — “ “Hellooooooo TARDIS!” “That,” Yaz finished, turning to watch as Ryan crashed into the room, with an aggrieved Graham in his wake. The Doctor groaned, throwing her hands up. “Ryan! Not you too!” “Guilty your honor,” Ryan crooned, spinning a wild circle and narrowly avoiding the couch with his flailing feet. You hastily copied Yaz, drawing your feet up onto the cushions and settling in to watch the show. “I’m in love, I’m in love, I’m in love! Congratulate me.” “You’re not in love, son, you’re drunk,” Graham said wearily, trying to grab Ryan, but he spun out of reach. And fell over. The room shuddered. You gasped, Yaz clapped a hand over her mouth, Graham cursed. The Doctor closed her eyes. “Ow,” Ryan said, but he was smiling beatifically up at the ceiling. “What happened?” The Doctor asked resignedly, crouching by Ryan and taking his pulse, then pulling out her sonic. He ignored her, still smiling happily up at the ceiling, his toes clicking together as he hummed. He was still firmly in the “fun” stage of the Red inebriation, it seemed. “What do you think, Doc?” Graham answered tiredly, moving to stand by them. “He wanted to impress a pretty girl.” “Did he?” you asked, interestedly. The situation was a lot funnier when it wasn’t happening to you, it turned out. “Well, he chugged a red and challenged some bloke to a dance contest,” Yaz said. She was grinning, and it was the grin of a sober woman witnessing the carnage wreaked by foolish friends. “We almost didn’t get him out of there.” The Doctor stood up, pinching her nose. She came to a decision.“Right. I’ll get him a pill, but I’ve done my babysitting duty for the night. He’s your problem after that.” She stode from the room, and you heard her mutter something about never going to a bar again. Yaz heard her too, and you shared a grin. Ryan, it turned out, had very little interest in taking the hangover-speed-up pill from the Doctor. It also turned out that red-inebriation or no, he could still move very quickly, and it took the combined efforts of Yaz, Graham and the Doctor to get the pill in his mouth. You filmed most of on your phone you'd fumbled quickly out of a pocket, which as far as you were concerned did just as much to help the situation as any of them. The Doctor threw herself down on the sofa next to you with an explosive sigh. “I am never,” she said, tipping back her head, “taking humans to a bar. Ever again.” Ryan moaned from the floor, punctuating the statement with eloquence. Yaz sat down on the Doctor’s other side, then scooted over to make room for Graham who was looking silent and shell-shocked. You found your shoulders rubbing the Doctor’s, and you curled your feet up under you to make more room while leaning your head against her shoulder. You could hear her twin heartbeats, and after a moment she rolled her head so that her chin was resting in your hair.“You’re all on probation,” she said, firmly. You hummed skeptically, and Yaz snorted. Graham was still grimly silent, but you knew he’d come around. Silence, for a moment, interrupted only by Ryan’s increasingly pathetic moans.“Shall I pop in a movie?” Yaz asked finally. “Go on then,” the Doctor said, resigned, but you could hear the smile in her voice. “We’re going to be here for a while.” “‘’m never drinking again,” Ryan groaned from the floor.  He clapped his hands over his ears as you all began to laugh, which did exactly nothing to help. “Humans,” the Doctor said to the TARDIS ceiling, but she was still smiling. “You love us,” Yaz said, standing up and moving to put on a movie. “Yeah,” the Doctor said after a moment, so softly that you thought you might be the only one who heard it. “I do.”

[lanaisnotwool]

421 - 401K Rip-Off

https://moneyripples.com/2020/09/11/421-401k-rip-off/

Are 401K’s a good idea?

Is it possible that you are worse off with a 401K?

Where can you invest instead?

Chris runs the numbers to see what happens if you invest with a 401K. It is catered for you and is filled with the information you need to make the right decisions and making a ripple effect to the lives of others.

Listen to our Podcast here:

https://www.blogtalkradio.com/moneyripples/2020/07/30/421--the-401k-ripoff

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Hello, my fellow Ripplers! This is Chris Miles. Your Cash Flow Expert and Anti-Financial Advisor. Welcome you out for a wonderful show. A show that is for you, and it’s about all of you. Those of you that work so hard for your money. And you’re ready for your money to start working harder for you. Now! You want to work because you want to not because you have to. You want to have that cash flow. That freedom. That prosperity. Today! Not 30 or 40 years from now, but right now, to be able to have that life that you love. To do what you love while you can still live. While you still have life in you. And it’s not just about having your own life of comfort and ease and freedom, which is amazing, but it’s about so much more. It’s about be able to create a ripple effect to the lives of others. Because as you prosper, you can use your blessings to bless the lives of others too. And that is a ripple effect. I’m here to create guys. Thank you for allowing me to create that ripple effect through you. And thank you again for bingeing, for sharing with others, for creating conversations, right? Because the only way to elevate your success is to elevate your conversations of success as well. And guys, you guys are doing an amazing job. Thank you so much for being a part of this and allowing me to create a ripple effect through you.

As a reminder check out our website, MoneyRipples.com Well, not only do we have the great e-book, Beyond Rice and Beans, that you can download for free, which will help you find money. Especially if you’re looking for a cash and be able to use and be able to create more freedom. There’s also great blogs. There’s even videos of this very episode being posted as well. So check that out. As well as our YouTube page. So check those out!

Today, guys. So again, I get this all the time because I get it. When the rest of the world is telling you to believe one thing, and you’re trying to do something different. It’s hard to break that pattern, right? Hey, we’re witnessing this in the world right now. There’s debates going on and between majorities and minorities and everything else, and it is creating a lot of debate, but the one thing you don’t see, many people debate is actually in the realm of money, right? When it comes to money, most people would agree going with the mainstream advice. It’s spend little, save a lot, save it in your mutual funds like your 401k is and get that employer match because it’s “Free Money”

Stay out of debt! You know, do all these things that you’re supposed to be doing that should somehow create freedom. Like guys, it has not worked! Period. Now you might think that somehow it has worked. Now, we might look back to grandparents generations, but understand is that there’s a ton of workers, funding, their social security and other things. They had pensions. We don’t! They have their pensions right now. There’s school teachers right now out of pensions, like running out of money. There’s States that are bankrupt right now. Government workers that aren’t getting the things that were given to us even few decades ago. And right now it’s relying upon you to create your own freedom. You cannot rely on anyone else. You cannot trust the government will have a decent amount of cash for you to use. It’s really up to you. So what’s been the answer of course, over the last several decades? It’s been the 401k, right?

I’m here to tell you the 401k is a Big Fat Lie! Now, granted. Does it do what people think it does in the sense that you defer taxes? Yes. You can have employer matches, which is like having free money. Yes. By the way, that’s just means that they’re just not paying you as much, just so you know. You know, it’s just a benefit, the company benefit of the add on, they just take it away from your salary anyways. All of these things, you know, is it essentially a real tool or a vehicle? Yes, it is. It’s a tax code that started back in, you know, back in the Carter era, right in the late seventies and by about 1980 and so on. Even though most employers didn’t really implement it, at least for the average worker, usually by the mid eighties, you start to see the average workers getting offered 401ks.

It became more mainstream. Now you have to ask yourself first and foremost, why does this thing becomes so big? Right? Why did people just keep using IRAs? Or why don’t we keep, you know, why don’t we start making roth IRAs more popular? Since that’s been around now for 20 years. More than 20 years. You know, we’ve had that for a while, but why aren’t people going crazy about the Roth? Now there’s some people that say it’s great, but the truth is you can’t save enough into a Roth. Can you? $6,000 or $7,000 a year is not enough to retire on. It’s nothing. It’s a ridiculous rule that you have the Roth IRA that kind of loses it. You’ve got things like life insurance out there that we talked about before. That is tax free, much like a Roth. It’s the same kind of taxation, but you can dump it a lot more.

But even then guys, if you’re trying to rely on a product to get you there, it won’t do it! There is no one single financial product that any financial advisor will offer you or your employer wall for you that will get you to financial freedom. And that’s what we are talking about today. Specifically, I’m going to focus on the 401k and why it’s a lie. Now understand that when it came out into the Carter era, taxes were much worse. Now there’s an article that one of my good friends sent and he sent it to me. He said, Chris, you should check this out. Very interesting. It’s actually an article in Bloomberg about 401k dated back on July 21st. Now this article, I’m not going to quote from it completely because even as I was reading it, I started to see some inaccuracies. The basic premise is pretty interesting.

Some of his solutions were different. He was talking about changing the 401k to be more flexible. More rules. I’m not opposed to that, but it doesn’t really answer the basic question. But he did bring up some good points about what happened when it started. So for example, the points that were good, right? And by the way, I know these are bad points and not only was it bad, I decided to look at the comments, which is never a good idea. If you want to stay in a good mood. When you look at the comments and people are railing into them saying, Hey, this was inaccurate. This was inaccurate. Right? But even with those inaccuracies that decided to go back and use some of those arguments, people were debating about, well, yeah, tax were higher, but medium income was lower. So I said, great. Let’s pull up the historical bureaus and find out what the census said, you know, on those things.

So anyways, I took a trip back in time to figure out what it really was. So here’s the first thing he said, the Marshall tax rate was higher in 1980, which is true. Your tax rate could be anywhere. It was taxed by just, but get this. We have eight tax brackets right now, right? In the federal income tax. The lowest is 0%. Of course. The highest is 37%. That is the highest bracket possible. Now you don’t get tax all that. It’s a scale that goes up, right? So as you hit each income bracket, that portion of that income bracket is taxed at that rate. So for example, right now missing, I’m not exact on the number. So I just closed them off, but you can get, basically get taxed 0% from like zero to about 18,000 bucks, right. Per year. So you have 18,000 or less of income.

You’re not even getting a tax on the federal side. State, maybe, but not on the federal. Then jumps up to like 10 and then 12 and so on. You know, so the top tax bracket for the median income today, by the way, the median household income today is about $78,500. So the top tax he even hit is 22%. By the way, the tax is owed as of 2020. If you make 78,500 on the federal tax, I’m not talking about the state taxes. Federal tax, you’ll pay 10,332 bucks, which is just over 30% of your income. Your total income. In 1980, the median income was 28,220 bucks. And this is across all races. I found out that white races were actually much higher. It was like 51,000. And I thought that was really interesting to see how it’s such a bigger discrepancy back then. I’m not surprised, but still pretty surprising how much the average white household was making was about 51,000.

But the median household income with all races, just like I did with 2020 was 28,220. Now with all the tax brackets, I did all the math on it. The tax, your taxes owed would be $5,663. So just over half of what you would have you paid today for the median income. The difference is though it’s about a third of the income, right? So that total percentage that you would have paid taxes back in 1980 was 20%. And also here’s the thing. The top tax bracket in 1980 was 70% with zero to 70%. With 16 brackets along the way there. So your top tax bracket even at the median household income, which wasn’t a lot 28,000 bucks, right.

Was still in that 32% tax bracket. That’s the bracket you’re in. The top bracket. So that’s where you’re paying more. So of course, if you’re looking for ways to reduce your taxes, why not find something to give you a tax deferral. In hopes that you would live on less. Here’s a faulty premise of course, is that even if you started saving in 1980, let’s say you have saved for the last 40 years. And I know some of you have. The problem is you’re probably noticing you’re not in a whole lot lower tax bracket today, are you? You know, maybe you earn a decent income, but income goes up with inflation, right? So of course the inflation you’re still having to make more. Now, granted right now is a lower tax bracket, for sure. So if you happen to retire today and you’ve been saving for awhile, you might be pretty happy.

But if you’re saving today, this might be the worst time to try to use a tax deferred account. Because right now we are in the lowest tax brackets we’ve been in decades. You know, this is amazing! These are, the tax rates are awesome! Even better than when I started working. Why would I try to avoid paying taxes now and go for a future date when it’s likely to be higher? And here’s the thing, guys, even if the brackets remained the same because of inflation, you have to consume more money each year to live. If you do, guess what, you’re getting tax on it. By the way, if you’re trying to count on social security, yes, you can get tax on social security. If you pull out more than a certain amount per year, and that’s not a lot of guys, it’s not a lot. So that’s the thing is that right now, it’s just based on taxes alone. The concept was great back then, which was, cause there was high taxes. They’re trying to pay for crazy stuff.

Inflation was going through the roof. It made sense, right? It made sense to say, Hey, the tax rates are ridiculous. I’m likely to be in a lower tax bracket because there’s so many tax brackets. It’s not hard to get to a lower one. So it was easy to kind of contribute to that and lower your tax bracket. But you’re delaying that tax for the future. You’re not really saving any taxes when you do a 401k. In fact, you saved nothing. And remember your employer’s contributions are going in as well, tax deferred and they come out taxed. So that’s a big one right there. Now here’s the thing is that people will say, okay, Chris, got it. You know, what’s the alternative, you know, what about now? You know, what’s going on today? Like what would you recommend?

Here’s the thing guys, again, I’m never going to make blanket statements. I’m not going to make blanket recommendations. I’m not going to give investment advice on the show. That’s because it’s illegal. I can’t do it. Right? But let me give you an example of what can happen because here’s the other problem with the 401k that’s a lie. Now people think with a match, right? This is the other big argument I get all the time. They’re like Chris, does it match though? That’s like a 50% match. That’s like a 50% return or a hundred percent match. It’s like a hundred percent return. So guys, I decided to do some calculations. I said, let’s do it by the numbers. That was another criticism on this guy’s thing. They said they didn’t really go by the numbers. He’s right. He didn’t, he was giving more conceptual stuff. Again, this is why I’m not really sharing the article. Cause it’s not. It’s good, but it’s not great. Right?

It’s not something you’d take as gospel for sure. So look at this way, whenever I talk to people or say, okay, Chris, this is what I’ve been doing. They’re like, I maxed out my 401k. Now when we calculate that with the match, because the match doesn’t go over usually 5% 6% a year. Anyways, if you get a hundred percent, most like get a 3% match or something or 4% maybe. But I said, okay, let’s go for the top that I’ve seen. Usually I won’t see with employer contributions. I won’t see more than 25,000 going in per year. So that’s great. Let’s just say that’s the case. I’m going to run two different scenarios. One have a person that’s about 45 years old with a quarter million saved up in the retirement account. That’s maxing their 401k for the next 20 years. And then I got somebody who’s 25 years old, starting from scratch. Also maxing out their 401k.

Which most people don’t do when they’re 25, but I’m going to say somebody is staying cheap. They’re the ultimate ideal saver, right? And they’re saving for the next 40 years and earning this. Now here’s the another debate. People say, well, what’s the real return? You know, this is why he got, I’ve put the match into this equation, right? With the match. You know, the real rate of return the market is anywhere usually between 7.4% and 7.6%, depending on the day. That’s of course the average I’ve seen like a 30 year average over time. It’s not 10 or 12%, the S&P500 doing at best, right around seven and a half. As of right now, July to July 2020, July 1990 to July of 2020, we went from the first to the first it’s about a 7.47% average.

Now like a real rate of return, not 10 or 12, that’s makes a massive difference when you’re started looking at 20 or even 40 years down the road. I figured, okay, we got that. But remember, there’s also fees in 401ks. And this is something that I saw in those comments. People are like, Oh, I’ve got like 0.04% cause I use Vanguard funds and all that stuff. Here’s the deal, guys. The fees in a 401k, aren’t that bad and even said he’s like, Hey, if you can get outside of the 401k, your fees will probably be less. Right? But here’s the deal guys. Most people never get that. And especially if you have money to go in a 401k, your fees are at least 1% on average. That’s pretty typical. They’re just the administrative fees that are inside 401ks. 401ks by the way, have like almost 20 different fees they can charge you.

So, and they’re all embedded with them. They don’t really make them very public. They’ll make them easily known. This is why people say, Hey, the Mark has been up, but my money’s not going up. Right. If you’ve ever said that, especially if you’ve been in the market long enough, you’ve felt this or noticed it before. You’re like, Hey, the market went up, but my money didn’t. There’s something wrong. This is part of the reason, fees are coming out. So I actually went kind of on the high end. Usually I don’t see people netting more than 6% rate of return. I put this at 6.25, I bonus you a quarter percent because the truth is, my point still going to win out. Even if I’m overly liberal with these numbers. Right? And not even being conservative. I’m actually being liberal against my own point.

I’m playing devil’s advocate against myself. Right? So 6.25%. Again, guys, I know the numbers going out because I just know a few of the guys are going to try to run the numbers yourself. So this is why I’m doing this. So anyways, here’s the deal. So I took that person. I said, Hey, what if you’re 45 years old? You’ve got a quarter million in your 401k as of now, which I know there’s several of you that do around this time. You’re max funding it. You’re going in about 25,000 a year with a match. I’m assuming you’re making that 120,000 or so a year. If you’re making less, it’s less right. But I’m putting this up, you know, kind of on a more conservative end where somebody might be max funding this. So you’re getting in a total of 25,000 a year. At six and a quarter percent after 20 years, you will have about $1.84 million.

So you have nearly $2 million. Now you might think that’s a lot, but you got to understand. There’s another thing working against us, which is inflation. Now I went conservative on this number. Again, playing devil’s advocate against myself, but I just decided to make this a number of conservative. I put it at a 4% inflation rate. Do not trust the government says about what, you know, their consumer price index and the inflation rates are. They’re messing with those rates to slow down the increase on social security payments to you. You know? So they’re trying to let that money stretch and last longer, they’re manipulating those numbers in real life, though, if you notice your real life, it’s not too far fetched to say, you know, about every 10 to 15 years, you know, my lifestyle has to kind of double.

Like what I’m living on today. I’ve got to have about double that within 15 years. You know, if you’re living on $4,000 a month back in 2005, you’re probably living on about $8,000 a month now. Again, changing circumstances with the life that’s the thing with inflation is kind of weird. You can’t really count on it because life situations changes. It can go more or less, but I put it 4%. There’s debates that it could actually be like 6% or 7%. It’s more closer what it’s been. Since we’ve been taken off the gold standard back in the early seventies. So anyways, I put it at 4% just to make it better. Here’s the key guys. When you’re looking at lifestyle, cause $1.84 million sounds great in 20 years. But when you look at the after inflation adjustment, that’s almost like having $840,000. So, and by the way, you haven’t paid taxes on this money yet. You still gotta pay taxes.

So say a quarter of that goes to taxes. You’re now left with about $600,000, right? And we’ll say 650,000. Again, I’ll be overly conservative on this number. 650,000. Here’s the key, again, financial buyers have taught this for years. Some people will say 4%. You can live on, right? That you’re not supposed to take out more than 4%. That’s an old number. That’s a number that worked before, back in the seventies. Most advisors that they’re, if they’re up to speed, won’t say more than pulling out 2% or 3%, especially with people living longer. So if you want your money to last, you want to pull out more than 2% or 3%. So what if you pulled out 3% of this after inflation adjustment of 650,000, that means you have about $19,500 a year lifestyle living on. You have a quarter million right now, you max out your 401k for the next 20 years.

And that’s like, you know, that’s a lot, right? They were putting in like over 18,000 19,000 a year into your 401k only to live on about 19,000 a year after you’ve paid taxes. That doesn’t sound so great. Does it? What if you started brand new? What if you’re a brand new person coming in and you’re like 25 years old, starting from scratch. You start immediately max funding that 401k, just like everybody tells you, you do that for 40 years. Six and a quarter percent with inflation working against you. Well guess what? The ending balance is almost 4.4 million, but after inflation, it’s more like 900, just over $900,000. So when you live on that, and remember you have to take out taxes. So let’s say a quarter of that goes into taxes. You’re left with less than 700,000. Again, you’re living on about, you know, if you factor in 3%, you’re living on about 20,000 a year. It doesn’t get any better.

This is why I say that 401k is a lie! You can not retire of 401k alone. Roth IRA won’t get you there by itself. And you can’t put in enough to make it work. You know, you factor in, even with the 401k, even with the match, you’re max funding it, unless you’re making a half million a year and you’re trying to stuff at full, most likely you can’t even do it that way. No, you can’t even do that much. It doesn’t matter. After some point you actually get restricted IRAs too. Some of you might say, well, I’ll do a SEP IRA. So I can do more of my income. I know some of you I’ve talked to, you put in 50,000 a year. It doesn’t matter, guys. You’re putting in 50,000 a year. You just double that number. And by the way, when you’re putting in SEP IRAs, you’re putting in your own match.

So the truth is you’re not even getting free money. You’re putting in all your own money to then live on about 40,000 to 50,000 a year down the road. If that. You get my point here? Is that whatever you’re trying to max fund into it. If you’re lucky, if the market smiles and you just right, stays around the average, you’re lucky to maybe pull out the same amount of money you’re pulling in. So whatever you’re putting in that’s about what you can pull out. That’s not fantastic, guys. That’s actually seems ridiculous because you can say, wait, I can just take that money, save it. You know, I can save it. Just keep it certain, not have to gamble the stock market. Because if you do like what happened to my dad Y2K knocked his retirement downright before he retired. It postponed his retirement. 15 years guys. That, I mean, this is again assuming averages. This is not assuming what if the market crashes, what if you’re trying to retire next year? And the market crashed in the next few years. Are you going to wait another five years to retire? That’s what some are doing. That’s ridiculous. It’s crazy. It’s insane.

Now let’s look at the alternative. Cause you say, Chris, what’s the alternative. So, you know, we’ve talked about different things. So I took the example of like AHP. Again, never guaranteed, right? But American Homeowner Preservation, you know, you hear their ads on this radio sometimes. They’d pay 10% a year right now. So what if you did the same thing, but here’s the thing. You’re not getting an employer match. Right? So say that you won, you had the 250,000 sitting in your 401k. You cash it out, right? Well, you might be able to avoid the penalty depending on COVID and the cares act, right?

But at least with taxes, you’ve pulled that money out. Let’s say you lose 60,000 of that quarter million. You’re left with 190,000. Okay. There you are. You’ve got 190,000. You can invest it. So say you go and invest in there. Again, this is not a recommendation. I’m just using this as an example of numbers, right? So you get 190,000 leftover after you’ve paid your taxes. You only put in 14,000 a year, not 25,000 because there is no employer match. And because now you’re getting paid that money after taxes, you got to pull taxes out. So even though you might be paying like 18,000 19,000 a year into the 401K, because now you’re taking the money out. Now you’re getting taxed. So I’m actually putting you in what would be viewed as the worst tax scenario, right? Because negative tax pull, you know, not taking, putting the money into your 401k.

Now it’s just coming out. You’re using after tax dollars. By the way, yes, you could invest in AHP pre-tax or with IRA money. But I’m using this as after tax where you get taxed every year. On the grow. So not only did you get taxed on the money, you know, that’s of course you’d actually finally put in, but now the interest you earned, which is at 10% also gets taxed and you still have to fight inflation. But again, it’s at 10% a year, right? After 20 years, here’s the thing, the end balance is almost one and a half million dollars. And this is, using this sort of person that’s 45 years old, right? So that person that said, Hey, I had a quarter million put in 25,000 a year with a match. Now they got 190,000. They’ve put into something like an AHP type fund at 10% putting in 14,000 a year.

They’re just putting their 401k contribution now into this. At 10%, they actually have one really about $400,000 less than they had when you’re putting in the 401k. You might think, well, Chris, even though they made a better return because there’s less money to go in. Yeah. There, of course it’s less. But remember too, when you’re cashing out of that money from the 401k, you gotta pay taxes. So it kinda actually owns breaks even at that point. And, but, well, actually you might end up paying a little bit more in taxes. So you might actually be a little bit under at the 401k, but remember the 401k says you should only be pulling out no more than 3% a year, right? The difference is this is that, again it’s about cash flow. Not accumulating money and then trying to live off less in the interest. It’s cash flow. Because if you had almost one and a half million dollars and you’re getting paid 10% a year, guess what?

Now you’re not pulling off, you know, and now using the numbers, of course, using the, now I’ll use after inflation number. So I just gave you that before. After inflation adjustments about, you know, $667,000, right? So that’s about what you got in, you know, in real dollars after inflation. 667, but you’re being paid 10%. It’s like having $66,700 a year lifestyle. Versus what I just said before with about an, you know, what was that $19,000 lifestyle. So you’re more than triple the lifestyle. Why? Because even though the numbers are about this, end up about the same, the cash flow is way better because the interest that’s paying you, the cash flow that’s coming from that is at 10% and not at 3%. So that’s why you’re getting more than triple the money back. Right? And yeah, you’ll pay tax on it. But so what, like maybe after the other money, your stuff pay tax on that too.

So again, same thing. That’s the person that has got 20 years of retirement. Right? So understand you can now hit those numbers faster. I use the example with that person that’s fresh start. Brand new 25 year old, right? Starting from scratch. So they just put 14,000 a year to AHP or something that earning 10%, right? Well, they’re going to end with about 3.4 million, but after inflation, that’s only like 716,000. But once again, because even though it’s like at $716,000 type of thing after inflation, the lifestyle that you can have is your pull off 10% a year is 71,000 a year. Much better than going about 20,000 a year. Right? Once again, kicks the crap out of it because it’s about cashflow, not just about accumulating money. And again, like I said, the 401k, it has to work at the right timing. You have to retire just the right time.

Otherwise it could be worked wrong. You got to make sure that taxes don’t go up dramatically. I was just pretending the taxes were staying similar, which they may or may not. If taxes go up, you’re getting host on your 401k. And people often will tell me that, Chris, I don’t know if I was a betting person. I would say that taxes are likely to go up from now. And I say with the way they’re printing money right now, either they’re going to cause massive inflation, which if you cause even worse inflation, that means you have to pull out more money, which means still more tax. Or they raise tax rates keep inflation down. So then you now have more money coming out, either way you lose when you start using that 401k. Or an IRA or anything else. Again, there is no product that a financial advisor can offer that will get you to that freedom. To be able to get you to that number.

You know, you have to be saving a ridiculous amount of money over a hundred thousand a year in hopes that you’re gonna make something. Or just live on a really cheap, you know, fixed income type lifestyle, right? Where you just try to do nothing. Don’t travel. Don’t go anywhere. Don’t visit grandkids. Just sit in your front porch and drink lemonade. Why? Not because you know, you want to, but because you can’t afford to go anywhere else and Lemonade’s on sale at the store. That’s why. This is the key factor here guys, is that it’s all about cash flow. And by the way, this is that 10% with tax with no tax advantages. If you do things like real estate, you can make better than that amount of money. And I’m not throwing those numbers out there. I’m staying on the low side. I’m basically going conservative with my point.

And I liberal against my point. Just to prove a point. Which is, is that there is a different world, a world of much better hope. If you look outside with the mainstreams, trying to pitch you and they’re selling you. And they’re selling you because they make billions of dollars in management fees off that. They want to keep the money in there forever. They’re the ones telling you to live on 2% or 3%. Why? Because then their money keeps growing. Their stock prices keep going up. Their CEO’s get keep getting paid more. They’re making more money because you’re not! And guys, that is one of the big reasons why I’m so passionately against things like 401ks, IRAs, which by the way, the government determines the rules and they can change the rules at any time. There’s no certainty. There’s no planning that can be done in those situations because you can’t maneuver with it.

You don’t even know what the rules are going to be like in 10, 20 years, how you, unless you’re retiring today, you have no clue. And even then they could change the rules. Look how they’re changing the rules on us right now because of a little virus, right? They’re freaking out. And they’re using that as a way to be able to change rules on us. We have a very different life today than we had six months ago. Wouldn’t you agree with that? Why couldn’t they change it on you? With the financial tools and things like that? The vehicles that they’ve been recommending. Of course they can. They need more taxes. They know where to go. They go for the people that are poor and middle class that don’t know what they’re doing. That are going and investing in these 401ks have zero tax advantages. And with the match, it’s just golden handcuffs.

You know, that little employer match does so little compared to the cost and the risk. But guys, just like you might’ve heard Robert Kiyosaki say, he says, the people that get the best tax breaks, the best tax advantages are the business owners or investors. If you’re in that category, if you get out of the employee mindset, you get out of that traditional mainstream mindset. Now you can actually have hope to break free. And guys, that is the kind of stuff that we’re talking about. Again, each of your situations are individual and different. I get that. Sometimes there are rare occasions, I think 401k works. Especially if you can pull money out right away. Like I get, I’ve had people get the match, pull the money out and go invest it on their own and they can work great. But, it is solo 401ks, by the way, guys, for those of you that are investors doing solo 401ks, I don’t trust those either because anything can change those rules and not to mention that we just don’t know.

I mean, plus if you get sued, I mean, there’s other issues that can happen there. You have assets they’re exposed that works against you in different scenarios. Either way, money getting locked up, get your money out of prison, get into a place that works for you. You guys want to know what that is. If you haven’t listened to show. There’s great examples of that. You know what, if you’re at the point you say, Chris, I think now’s the time I got to change my strategy. Shoot me an email. Say, Chris, what do you think about my situation? What do you think I should do? Just shoot me an email. Chris@MoneyRipples.com. And yes, I answer my emails. I shocked a guy he’s like, I can’t believe you keep telling me to email you. And I finally did it. And that guy, it was a slam dunk.

I was like, man, like, I’m so glad you actually had the courage to do it. Because for him it was like a 70,000 a year difference. You know, like a passive income that he could create from his current situation. I’m not saying that’s you, it could be, it might not be. But either way, if you think there’s a calling or a feeling with in you saying, I think now’s a time to do something different. The marks recovered. Maybe now’s the time to do something different right now. Why? While there’s still money in the market, you know, while the market’s still overvalued drastically, right? This might be the time. So again, if you have questions about that, shoot me an email. Chris@MoneyRipples.com.

Guys, I hope this valuable. I hope you start to see why the 401k just cannot and will not work. And this is why I’m so passionate against it. Cause I’ve run these numbers over and over and over. And it comes up with the same results. Guys. You can’t expect to get something different when it hasn’t ever been different. This is how it’s been. This is why I left financial advising. And this is why I did something different. They gave me different results that got me to retire when other financial advisors can’t retire. And by the way, great question for financial advisors, ask them, Hey, did you get financially free off the advice you’ve been giving? Not from the commissions you’re earning, but actually from doing the things you’re telling your clients. And I can tell you honestly, I’m doing the things that I tell people to do as well. They don’t! They aren’t retired off that their mutual funds and their 401ks and IRAs. They aren’t! They are making money by selling you this lie!

This needs to stop now! This is why I’m here. This is a ripple effect I want to create. Guys, I hope you share this episode too. Share this other people. They need to know the truth. This has to stop! There are too many dumb pundits out there teaching this crap because people are putting money in their pocket, telling them, Hey, you do this. We pay you money. We will give you a little perks and benefits if you do this. So much money being thrown, at these 401ks and other plans. So you buy them and you buy a hook line and sinker. But the only person that loses is not the person telling you on the radio, right? Or on the TV or on interviews. Those people aren’t losing. The financial companies aren’t losing. It’s only you. This has got to stop. Guys, I hope this is valuable for you. Make it a wonderful and prosperous week and change your life now. It’s all about action and taking action to do something different. Do the opposite of what you’ve been told to do. Make it a wonderful week. We’ll see you later.

[idontfindyouthatinteresting]

For fic writers, artists, or people who just want to know what on earth is going on with this game, I’ve created some resources, this is the Character Profiles but there is also a…

Glossary / Plot Outline

ALL OF THESE CONTAIN HUGE SPOILERS - THEY ARE THE FACTS AS I KNOW THEM - READING THIS WILL SPOIL THE GAME FOR YOU. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. If there’s anything that’s wrong let me know with a source to the correct answer, but I haven’t written anything I’ve not been sure of, but this is all based on my memory of the game, if there’s characters that should be added, please let me know.

Sam Porter Bridges - Also known as ‘Sam Strand,’ ‘Sam Porter,’ ‘Sam Bridges’ / DOOMS - Lvl 2 / Repatriate / Porter (Bridges, then Independent, then Bridges)

The son of Clifford Unger and Lisa Bridges. Born to a still mother and placed into a BB pod, Cliff attempted to rescue Sam from the Bridges facility and failed resulting in both their deaths. When an infant Sam made it to the Beach, his bullet wound to the stomach was fixed, causing a cross scar on his stomach which is still present in adulthood, and was sent back into the ‘real’ world by Amelie and therefore made into a Repatriate. When back in the ‘real’ world he was brought up by Bridget (Amelie’s older ‘Ha’) as her son. Sam has nightmares in his youth and he ends up on Amelie’s beach where she helps him. Amelie gifts him a dream catcher to try and help him with his nightmares. He had a partner and an unborn child (a son he was going to call ‘Lou,’) lost prior to the start of the game. When the game starts Sam has no attachments, is living as a porter. He has a delivery to Capital Knot City and gets caught up in the death of the President, the woman who raised him, she asks him to complete the chiral network to bring the UCA together again. Sam acquires his BB during these initial tasks, from someone in corpse disposal who passes in a void out Sam survives. Sam is asked to incinerate BB because they believe BB is faulty, but doesn’t. Sam is pursuaded by Amelie to complete the task as laid out by the president, but not because Sam wants to bring America back together again, but because Amelie asked. Sam has to travel cross country connecting the Chiral network, he continues his job as a porter, making deliveries as he goes to help people and to persuade people to join the UCA. Sam has lots of success doing this, and word quickly spreads giving people hope. Sam begins to discover through his connections that the situation and the science aren’t as simple as he thought. He also starts to see what be believes are BB’s memories where Cliff is attempting to free BB from the control of Bridges but they aren’t sure what they mean. He works closely with Fragile, manages to defeat Higgs who heads up a terrorist organisation and makes it to the West connecting things up as he goes. Sam creates a close bond with BB and expresses a desire to live with BB, rejecting the idea that BB is equipment. After travelling all the way West Sam is told he needs to come back East, to meet up with all the scientists he’s met along the way in an attempt to end what the Death Stranding started and avert the extinction of humanity. They learn that Amelie is the key to the extinction and is causing it. Sam is transported to Amelie’s beach to convince her to give humanity a chance. Sam manages to do this, and Amelie will hold up the extinction as long as possible. Sam is rescued from the Beach and returns to life as a porter. After the inauguration of Die-Hardman as the new President, Sam learns of Die-Hardman’s betrayal of Cliff, and is then told that his BB, who he affectionately calls ‘Lou’ after his unborn child, has passed with the strains of their journey. Sam take Lou on one last delivery to the incinerator to stop Lou becoming a BT. Deadman deactivates Sam’s cufflinks so he can leave Bridges if he wants. Sam connects with Lou’s pod in an attempt to wake her up and see’s memories of Cliff attempting to save him as a baby, managing to talk with Cliff properly and they discover together they’re actually father and son. After this Sam burns his cufflinks in the incinerator but can’t bear to burn Lou and breaks the pod and resuscitates her successfully. Sam leaves with Lou giving up with life with Bridges. In connecting America back together again, Sam learns that humanity is worth it, worth saving and that if the whole country is worth saving, maybe he is too. Sam for a large part of the story has a fear of touch which affects him profoundly, but by the end of the story it seems to affect him less.

Fragile / DOOMS - Lvl UNKNOWN (Greater than Sam) / Porter Company Owner (Fragile Express)

Fragile DOOMs gives her the ability to teleport to her Beach and then teleport in the ‘real’ world, so she is able to travel long distances quickly. She took over her father’s porter company, Fragile Express, to continue her father’s dream of bringing America together again. Fragile worked with Higgs for a long time, but was betrayed by him as Higgs hid an armed nuclear bomb in her cargo bound for Middle Knot City. The bomb detonated and the city destroyed. Higgs takes Fragile hostage, and has a second bomb which he gives to her in the middle of South Knot City, Higgs causes timefall and tasks Fragile with running the bomb, in her underwear through Timefall to save the city, or to vanish and save herself. Higgs only give Fragile covering for her head so everyone always knows her face. Fragile saves the city, but exposes her body to Timefall which drastically ages her skin. There was a lot of speculation about whether Fragile Express was a terrorist organisation or used by Higgs, so the company causes a lot of controversy in certain areas of America. Sam isn’t sure what to believe and doesn’t trust Fragile for a long time. Higgs attempts a false delivery again to get Sam to take a bomb to Fragile, but they discover it ahead of time and Sam throws the bomb into the tar pit. Sam and Fragile build trust over this. Fragile helps to send Sam after Higgs in an attempt to rescue Amelie on the condition that Fragile can finish Higgs off. Sam delivers Higgs to Fragile, weak but alive. Fragile gets information from him, but cannot bear to shoot him despite her desire too and offers to leave him stranded on the beach forever or he can shoot himself. Fragile offers to take Sam back east but Sam decides to go with Amelie and is stranded. Fragile transports the team working to end the extinction to Capital Knot City, hugely weakening herself and putting herself in a coma, and can’t manage to get Sam. Fragile then sends Sam to Amelie’s beach to stop the extinction at the end, at great pains to her. Once the extinction is avoided, Fragile gets the first private contract for Porters from the UCA, she offers Sam a job with her which Sam refuses in order to go off grid. Fragile says that Sam doesn’t have run and hide anymore, that he’s changed, got something to fight for.

Clifford Unger - Also known as ‘Cliff,’ ‘Veteran’ / DOOMS - None / Soldier

 Cliff is in the American military, fought in many wars contemporary to us. Fought with Die-Hardman and was his Captain, Die-Hardman credits Cliff with saving his life repeatedly. Cliff is married to Lisa Bridges and Lisa falls pregnant with their first child together, Cliff leaves the military in order to be there for his wife and child. Unfortunately Lisa falls ill and is turned into a still mother, their unborn child removed from the womb at 28 weeks. Cliff is told repeatedly they’d attempt to get BB and Lisa out of their states, but this was a lie. Cliff is told this by Die-Hardman, that BB will be taken away and used as the base code for a Knot City and he gives Cliff a window to end Lisa’s life, a mercy, and take BB and try and get him out of the hospital. Cliff attempts this, but fails, is shot and captured by hospital/Bridges security. Cliff removes BB from his pod, and he survives against the odds, Amelie shoots Cliff to try and get BB back but accidentally shoots BB too. Cliff is seen on the beach in the distance when Amelie sends BB back into the ‘real’ world. It is presumed, but not shown that Amelie convinces Cliff to work for her in exchange for being able to get his child back again. Amelie gives Cliff powers and Cliff sets about attempting to find his child in the world. Cliff’s military background means that he connects with beaches created from the mass slaughter of millions of soliders in battles and his connection with Sam, as Sam is secretly his son, drags Sam into these battles. Both Sam and Cliff are of the belief the BB Cliff is looking for is Sam’s BB (Lou), and Sam fights Cliff to try and weaken him so Sam is allowed back to the ‘real’ world and Cliff tries to take Sam’s BB (Lou) by mistake. Bridges are of the opinion for a time that Cliff is actually controlling Higgs and the mastermind behind the extinction event. In the last battle, Cliff and Sam bond over their care for what is perceived to be the same BB, and Lou expresses a happiness to stay with Sam, which Cliff accepts, he hugs Sam and disappears. Cliff is next seen when Sam is accessing what he believes to be the memories of Lou who was dead at this point. Sam thinks he’s just watching the memories, but he’s able to influence them, he puts himself between Cliff and Die-Hardman’s gun. Cliff realises that Sam’s full name is ‘Sam Porter Bridges’ and puts the pieces together that Sam is actually his son. Cliff puts himself between Sam and the gun and Amelie shoots him, killing Cliff and what has been discovered to be the infant Sam at the same time. Cliff has associations and seems to gain his power from the BT tar, and has an army of dead soldiers he can command. He also uses Amelie’s substitute BB’s - the creepy dolls. Cliff’s motivation is simply to get his son back and show him the world. He gets peace from knowing that Sam has done that, lived a good life, done good things and helped connect America. At the end, Cliff says that he’s always been a stopping point, obstructive like a cliff face, but Sam has always been his bridge to the future.

Deadman / DOOMs - None / Doctor (Bridges)

 A Bridges doctor, who was grown from embryonic stem cells and flesh harvested from cadavers. Because of his he has a Ha, a physical body, but no Ka, no soul. Deadman has a self-confessed dislike of BB’s, and Lou is aware of this and leaks artificial womb fluid all over him deliberately. Deadman says that he has no mother, no family, no friends, no beach. But in helping to save humanity he gains friends, and a bond with Lou. Deadman does a lot of research for Sam, finding out information he shouldn’t have access too and digging up details on Die-Hardman for him. Deadman pulls Sam off of Amelie’s Beach back into the ‘real’ world, he helps when Lou gets sick and helps them get better for Sam and helps Sam disappear at the end of the story for a life with Lou undisturbed by the UCA. Despite Sam not liking touch, he voluntarily hugs Deadman at the end of the story which clearly has a profound effect on him, finally building connections with people who aren’t dead.

Malingen - Also known as ‘Mama’ / DOOMs - Lvl UNKNOWN / Hardware Technician (Bridges)

Twin sister to Lockne with whom she has an intense bond, they’re believed to be one Ka separated between two Ha’s. Malingen created the Chiral network and Q-pid hardware, is a genius of unknown proportions. Malingen had no viable eggs, and her sister was unable to carry a baby to term, so when her sister needed a surrogate, Malingen stepped up to carry her child. Whilst awaiting a C-section a terrorist attack meant the hospital was bombed, Malingen was trapped inside and gave birth whilst trapped in the rubble, the baby passed and became a BT whilst still connected to Malingen. Her child’s crying caused Mama to be found and rescued, but she was unable to leave the site because of her child’s connection with the site and the other side. Mama’s child is a harmless BT whom she can cradle and touch, but this is because Mama is dead, hiding her status by not wearing her cufflinks properly. There is an issue with the Q-pid, which requests Lockne’s help to fix, but Lockne and Mama grew apart after the issues with their child. Mama knows that to get the Q-pid fixed, she needs to see Lockne, to build their bond again and convince her to help bridges. Mama creates the umbilical cord cutting cufflinks for Sam using Sam’s own blood and gets Sam to separate her and her child by cutting the cord. Mama only has a short time to live without the connection to her child, and Sam transports her to Lockne and Mama passes once she meets her sister again. As Malingen and Lockne are on Ka, Mama is still able to converse with Sam through Lockne.

Lockne / DOOMS - Lvl UNKNOWN / Software Technician (Independent, then Bridges)

Twin sister of Malingen with whom she has an intense bond, they’re believed to be one Ka separated between two Ha’s. Lockne wrote the software enabling the Chiral Network and the Q-pid, is of equal genius to her twin and runs Mountain Knot City. After issues with the UCA she wouldn’t accept joining until Malingen was brought to her, and accepted joining as one of her final wishes. Lockne felt Malingen return to her after her Ha finally passed and continued help to fight the extinction event with her and everyone else. Lockne takes care of Lou whilst Sam goes to convince Amelie to stop the extinction.

Die-Hardman - Also known as ‘John Blake McClane’ / DOOMS - None / Head of Bridges, President of the United Cities of America, Former Soldier

 Formerly a soldier in a unit with Clifford Unger for the American army and credits him with saving his life on multiple occasions. Die-Hardman then joined Bridges, and was part of the security team supervising the hospital where Cliff’s wife and son were being treated. Die-Hardman gave Cliff the advice and window needed to attempt to escape. This escape is a failure, and Die-Hardman is ordered to shoot Cliff by Bridget, in the first timeline we see, he does this. Die-Hardman continues to serve Bridget until her death as the President of the UCA. He wants to finish her work and attempts to persuade and help guide Sam across the US. Die-Hardman is primarily the one giving Sam orders during the story. As time goes on, Deadman and Sam become less sure they can trust him, because of his involvement with the BB program and potentially hiding files. Die-Hardman is taken to Amelie’s beach but he manages to smuggle a gun. He comes face to face with Cliff once more, Cliff doesn’t kill Die-Hardman on sight which is what he expected, Die-Hardman believes this means Cliff has forgiven him. Die-Hardman is spared from the beach and reappears in Captial Knot City weak but alive. It’s unknown what happened to him. When we next see him he’s being inaugurated as the President of the UCA, in his speech, he thanks Sam for his work as an ‘unsung hero’ but doesn’t name him directly as he knows Sam wouldn’t want that. After the ceremony, Die-Hardman catches up with Sam and they discuss Cliff, Die-Hardman breaks down with the weight of what he did and expresses that he thinks that Cliff would have forgiven him and Sam reacts badly, Sam recovered the gun Die-Hardman left on the Beach, and gives it back to him, advising Die-Hardman that “the gun won’t work here.” When Sam manages to get back into his own memories, he’s able to be present there as an adult and effects them, he puts himself between Cliff and Die-Hardman’s gun, this forces Bridget to take hold of the gun and the trigger over Die-Hardman’s hand and shoots Cliff. Die-Hardman wears a mask for most of the story, it’s believed that his face is badly burned which is why he wears it, but actually it’s Bridgets mask, worn by Die-Hardman so people wouldn’t recognise him, after being inaugurated he removes the mask.

Heartman / DOOMS - Lvl UNKNOWN / Research Scientist (Bridges)

Heartman lives and works in a distant lab, South East of Mountain Knot City. When Sam meets him Heartman is dead, an AED device he permanently wears over his check shocks his heart and he wakes up. Heartman advises Sam that he was undergoing heart surgery in a hospital when an attack destroyed the hospital’s generator, and Heartman was dead for 21 minutes. His wife and child were killed in the attack and Heartman lost them on the Beach. Since then, every 21 minutes his heart goes into cardiac-arrest and he dies, he’s dead for 3 minutes before his AED shocks him back. During this time, he searches Beaches for his wife and child. Heartman dies and is resuscitated 60 times a day, he has a collection of media which can be consumed within 21 minutes, he says that largely bodily functions can be fit into a 21 minute window, with the exception of sleep and sex. Heartman’s heart is drastically malformed because of the strain it’s under and is more

BB-28 - Also known as ‘Bridge Baby,’ ‘BB,’ ‘Lou′ / DOOMs - None / Bridge Baby

BB-28 is first seen being used by a member of Corpse Disposal, Sam goes with CD and they’re attacked by BT’s, the CD person using BB-28 is taken by BT’s and he throws the BB away to save them. Sam survives the attack as he’s a repatriate and uses BB-28 to get back to Capital Knot City. Sam is tasked with taking the Presidents body for incineration and they include a still living BB-28 in the cargo for incineration as they believe BB-28 malfunctioned, leading to the void out. Sam doesn’t want to incinerate BB-28, and is attacked by BT’s in the incinerator, he uses BB again to get back to Capital Knot City, and says that he’d continue to use BB. Sam and BB bond through deliveries, avoiding BT’s and travelling together. BB’s usually don’t work for people with DOOMs, despite this Lou and Sam work well together and their connection is undeniable, Sam starts to refer to BB-28 as ‘Lou’ which we find out is the name Sam and his partner would have given to their unborn child who passed. When Sam gets to Mountain Knot City, Deadman says that Lou needs treatment as they’re drifting off balance and leaning more to the world of the living than the dead like other BB’s, and Sam said that this isn’t a problem for him as they want to live together. Deadman is able to restore the balance, but in doing so he wipes Lou’s memories of Sam and they have to rebuild their bond again. But they do this without issue. As the circumstances with Cliff become more apparent and they continue to visit him in the supercells, it’s believed that Lou is Cliff’s child, the lullaby that Cliff sings to his child makes Lou happy with Sam whistles it to them. As Sam travels to Capital Knot City again Lou gets more unwell, is unable to connect fully in their incubator. Sam leaves Lou behind to go Amelie’s beach with Lockne for safety. When Sam returns from Amelie’s beach and Die-Hardman is inaugurated, Deadman advises Sam that Lou has passed away, presumably from the stress of the journey. Sam takes it upon himself to deliver Lou to the incinerator to stop them becoming a BT. Sam at the last minute rescues Lou from the incinerator, breaks open their pod and attempts to resuscitate Lou, with only a 30% chance of success, but is successful. Lou is awake and alive when Sam steps out of the incinerator. It’s revealed in a post credits scene that Lou’s full name is Louise. Lou controls Sam’s Odradek which waves BT’s goodbye once they’re defeated and gives a thumbs up when you’re clear of BT’s. When Higgs shoots Sam, Lou uses the Odradek to protect him from the bullets. You can rock Lou, and Lou will give you likes. If you fall off a high ledge or walk in too high water Lou will cry and you need to soothe her by rocking her. Too many attacks from BT’s will give Lou autotoxemia and she needs to go back into her incubator in a private room to recover.

Amelie Strand - Also known as ‘Extinction Entity,’ ‘EE,’ ‘Bridget,’ ‘ Amerigo,’ / DOOMs - Lvl UNKNOWN / Extinction Entity, President of the UCA

Amelie’s story is complex, to start with, she’s shown as someone who soothed Sam on the beach as a child when he had nightmares. She ran Bridges Expedition I which set up the Chiral Network, but was taken hostage in Edge Knot City and is unable to leave because of the terrorists. Sam can speak with her through Chiralgrams and Amelie convinces Sam to travel West and connect up the Chiral Network, Sam does this for her and her alone, as Bridget, the President of the UCA, brought them both up and Sam feels for her strongly. As Sam travels West he hears lots of stories of how wonderful Amelie is but that no one has seen her physically for a long time. Heartman and Sam come to the conclusion Amelie is an Extinction Entity, able to create an extinction and end humanity, that she is powerful and her Beach is greater than any other humans. As Sam gets to Edge Knot City, he reveals Amelie’s location to Higgs who supposedly takes her hostage on the Beach. Sam travels East again so Fragile can jump Sam to Amelie’s Beach, but they realize that actually, Amelie tasked Higgs with speeding up the end of the world, and gave him his powers. The creepy doll’s are Amelie’s version of Bridge Babies with ties to her beach and therefore it’s discovered that she also brought Cliff into the fold, again in an attempt to speed up the end of the world. Sam manages to get to Amelie’s beach, and Amelie said that she didn’t feel she had a choice, extinction was inevitable, and she thought she was doing a kindness by making it quick, Sam convinces her humanity is worth it, and convinces Amelie to hold back extinction as long as possible to give humanity a chance to evolve to avoid it. Whilst Sam is awaiting rescue from the beach, Amelie explains her true story. Amelie reveals Bridget is not her mother, but in fact they’re the same person. At 20 years old an operation meant that Amelie’s Ka and Ha were seperated, her Ha - ages and therefore becomes Bridget so people aren’t suspicious. Amelie and her Ka are stuck on the Beach, but can project herself forward. Amelie created the Chiral network as a part of the Bridges 1 Expedition to speed the extinction process up but increasing the amount of Chiralium in the world. Amelie planted the Bridge Babies at the centre of cities and that’s what she needed Cliff’s child for. When Cliff and the infant Sam are shot by Bridget, Amelie finds Sam on her beach, and sends him back to the ‘real’ world and in doing so grants the world with DOOMs and makes Sam a repatriate. Amelie then helps Sam through the nightmares and gifts him a dream catcher, Sam as a child gifts Amelie with a necklace, Quipu, which becomes a tailsman for their connection and helps them find each other on the beach. Amelie is left on the beach, holding back the antimatter back for what could potentially be hundreds of thousands of years.

 Higgs Monaghan - Also known as ‘Peter Englert’ / DOOMs - Lvl 7 / Ex-Porter, Terrorist, Leader of the Homo Demens

Higgs was abused by his father, who he killed and watched become a BT. He worked with Fragile, but betrayed her and became a terrorist, tricking her into sending a nuclear bomb into Middle Knot City. Higgs is a separatist, claiming to be working for the independence of Edge Knot City and wants to stop UCA expansion. Higgs tortures Fragile by sending her into Timefall in her underwear to avoid another city being bombed. Higgs is found to have been given his powers and orders by Amelie, to speed up the extinction. Higgs has the power to summon timefall and BT’s and can control them. Sam chases Higgs to the beach to rescue Amelie when Higgs claims to kidnap her and weakens him, refusing to use weapons to do so. Fragile gives Higgs the choice between being stuck on the beach forever or shooting himself and Higgs chooses to shoot himself. Amelie is presumed to have created the terrorist cells to make the UCA believe building the Chiral Network was the best thing, when in fact that helps to trigger the extinction and also to find an excuse to being using Bridge Babies again. The UCA discontinues BB’s because of ethical grounds, but says that since the terrorists bring the technology back, they must start using them again, when in fact the terrorists are using Amelie’s doll sensors, linked to her beach and drawing their power from there. Higg’s terrorists have no desire for Cargo like MULEs, just to capture Sam and stop him.

[sarcasticbabywhispererjess]

The movie “Secret Obsession” opens with the main character Jennifer being chased through a rest stop bathroom by a knife wielding maniac. She escapes out into the rain (very dramatic), gets hit by a car and is subsequently brought to the hospital. 

The following happens in the hallway of the hospital and OR...

Bagging patient randomly off and on.

“She’s going into v-fib.” (closed captioning says v-tach)

No compressions are started.

“She’s unstable.” (no shit)

No one starts compressions… way to fail ACLS step 1. Get on the chest!

“We need to start compressions.” Yes, please!

No one actually starts compressions, but someone does listen to her with a stethoscope.

“Miss can you hear me?” She’s in v-fib and you’re not doing compressions, her brain isn’t being perfused… she ain’t gonna answer you, doc.

“She’s unresponsive.” Ya think?

“I’m losing a pulse.” She’s been in v-fib, but had a pulse this whole time? I think your monitor is faulty. Also, why start compressions if there’s a pulse… not that they have done any compressions so far.

Still no compressions.

Shocks with 300 joules… with paddles that we don’t ever use anymore. (You don’t shock with 300 joules on any defibrillators, 120-200 on biphasic, or 360 on monophasic… yes I looked this up.)

“Bradycardia. 30… 90/50.”

Patient is in an organized rhythm and has a pretty good BP.

“Charge to 360”  What?! Why?! Shocks her again. 

WTF?! Why did you shock her? You don’t shock bradycardia.

“Get another amp of epi”… shocks again. 

That was three shocks in like a minute… never any compressions.

Pulse is now 75… they call it a success and say they can start surgery.

That was a DISASTER of a code. I get that it’s a movie, but codes are exciting when you follow actual ACLS guidelines (less defibrillating though), they didn’t need to do this. Plus, just edit and reorder some of those lines and it would have made more sense. Also... 

DO SOME FUCKING COMPRESSIONS!

Ok, below I continue with a play by play and commentary on the rest of the movie... warning, spoilers ahead.

Jennifer is in a hospital bed, extubated after surgery, but hadn’t regained consciousness after surgery. No, we don’t do that. 

Leg is in a brace and sling. Huh? Why?

Has Coban, but no gauze wrapped around her head like a headband (not sure where her injury is… somewhere near her hippocampus since that is where her brain injury is according to the doctor when he is explaining about how her memory is going to be affected by her brain injury) and random pieces of white tape on her nose and fingers. ???

Jennifer is in the hospital for several weeks it seems after the montage of memory card games and learning to push her own wheelchair. All of her facial abrasions are healed as she’s being discharged which also denotes the passing of time. I’m not quite sure why they kept her so long. 

She is standing at the counter and is told by the nurse discharging her (who also was there the night she was admitted) that her CT results came back and is given a vague update. Nurse gives her prescription bags… I mean, I guess it’s a nurse, she’s not wearing a badge but is wearing a stethoscope around her neck  (confirmed later, she’s a nurse). She gives Jenn a cane to walk with when she gets home… 2-3mins a day (That’s like no time at all). Jenn is given no instruction of how to use it, I’ve only ever seen her use a wheelchair.

Jennifer is sent home with a wheelchair. Her leg brace is gone. So can she not walk because of her brain injury, not her leg injury?

Man, this nurse works a lot… she seems to be there every day/night. And she’s in charge of follow-up calls/appointments. They’re in California, so at least she probably makes pretty good money since she runs the whole damn hospital.

OK, cane/wheelchair is because of her leg. Why the fuck doesn’t she just have crutches? That’s dumb. I guess it’s to make her more helpless.

God damn, her skin is so nice. 

Russell and Jenn start to get intimate, Jenn has a scary memory flash and rebukes his advances. Russell doesn’t take it well. He roughly grabs her arm. He starts talking about how much he has done for her and how he’s her husband (is he though?), so he deserves better. Twat. Jenn is freaked out both by her memory and Russell’s behavior, but just turns off the light, rolls over away from him, and goes to bed. I would have left. 

Damn, nurse Masters is still at work? She literally works 24/7 in this ED. Jenn still has an active chart? There are doctor’s notes in it? This place hasn’t switched to EMR yet? But they have high res security cameras that hospital security can pull up and email files within minutes? Impressive. Do a lot of crimes happen in this hospital? So those are their priorities? Weird.

Wtf is a heritage tattoo? That’s how the detective figured out her maiden name? Seems far fetched, but I’m not looking it up.

The detective enters Jennifer’s home that she shared with her parents according to records… and he keeps touching things without gloves on. You’re a shit detective, dude. How have her parents been dead this whole time and no one has looked for them? They didn’t have jobs? Were they hermits?

Russell leaves and Jenn hears a lock sound from the bedroom door. She jiggles the door handle and can’t get it open, “Did he just lock it?” Well he didn’t unlock it ya dumb bitch.  Well apparently she was some kind of criminal in her past life, so she can open locks with a bobby pin. Really? The password on Russell’s computer is Jennifer’s maiden name. FFS. This is the most unrealistic thing in the movie. 

Why would he cut the cord for the internet? Just to be dramatic. He could just as easily have just unplugged the cord and taken it with him. Did he not want to use the internet anymore either? Anyway, he planned far ahead enough to disable the internet just in case she got into the computer, but didn’t delete all the pictures pre-photoshopping off his computer? Idiot.

Who just swallows a pill that someone puts in their mouth just because they also forced water into your mouth? You’re not a dog, Jennifer. 

Russell uses a chain and lock that he happens to have in his pocket to chain her to the bed. Pretty sure she can get that chain off of her ankle if she wanted to. It’s not that tight.

Oh my goodness, nurse Masters isn’t at work! Russell is super weird to her and then speeds away from the store where he bought lye.

The chain is much tighter suddenly… but loose enough that Jenn could get it off. Ok, wtf is wrong with her leg… she can’t seem to straighten it from like 30 degrees… they should’ve kept that brace on her from the beginning of the movie and also done more ROM exercises with her while she was in the hospital for all those weeks. She apparently used to be some kind of medic? Duct tape as an ace bandage ankle wrap? Probably not the most effective, but could be worse. Though I imagine she’d only have some soft tissue injury from that chain, I don’t know if she needs to wrap her ankle.

Jenn gets into the garage where she acts like it smells bad.. like a dead body, maybe? She hides in her car that is in the garage when fake Russell gets home. He also acts like the garage reeks. Why does he open the trunk to see the real Russell’s dead body? Like, he knows that it’s in there and he could already smell the decomposing body… he just wanted a better whiff? Also, why hasn’t he buried the body yet? He buried that witness the day he killed him. Well, semi-buried… it was a really shallow grave that Jenn tripped onto and touched the dude’s hand.  Honestly, he did a piss-poor job at hiding the body. Also, now that I’m thinking about it, real Russell’s body isn’t very decomposed for having been in the trunk of a car in a hot garage for several weeks (unless the garage has A/C, but there would still be a lot more rotting of the flesh after such a long time). Jennifer’s parents bodies decomp was much more progressed even though it seems they’ve all been dead the same amount of times.

The detective is at “their” house, he knows Russell isn’t Russell and there’s something nefarious afoot. This detective needs to go back to detective school. Stop touching potential evidence without gloves on. Why would fake Russell just cover up an old sign that has his actual last name on it? Just get a new sign, you nut job. Well, the shitty detective isn’t aware of his surroundings and doesn’t have his gun drawn, so of course fake Russell/Ryan is able to sneak up behind him and hit him over the head. He’s dead… actually probably just unconscious in an ice chest since fake Russell is only good at killing people most of the time. Also, I have a feeling we’re going to need the detective later to help save Jenn.

Uh oh, glasses are off… I guess he’s not Russell anymore. He’s crazy, obsessive Ryan.

Yes, take time to watch that video on your phone, Jenn… get sentimental while you’re trying to run for your life. 

Why is this dude so hyper focused on this chick? He’s hot. He could have his pick of plenty of girls. I suppose it’s hard to think in rational/logical terms with a sociopath no matter what he looks like. 

Oh good… he’s doing the villain speech where he explains his backstory. Apparently he had to light a single taper for it. I have a feeling the candlestick holder might come into play later… in Jennifer’s benefit. No, wait... he left the lighter and tied her up with flammable rope.  But she knocked it on the floor… moron.

Oh good, the detective is alive. He’ll save them both even if he’s also an idiot. Since all women need saving. 

Wait, she got herself out. Why hit him with the vase? The solid metal candle holder would’ve been a better choice. Solid work falling down the stairs, Jenn

The detective is out of the ice chest. And he’s using the Babe from Kill Bill incentive… yelling at himself to make his brain/muscles work. He at the very least has a concussion/TBI from being knocked unconscious, yelling at yourself doesn’t fix that.

Jennifer! Why are you going into the woods? You have his keys and there are so many cars on the property, you probably have a key that will work on at least one of them. Even if you didn’t have the keys, if you can pick a lock, can’t you hotwire a car too?  Why do you think you’d get better signal in the mother fucking woods? Yes, try to hit him with a heavy log that you can barely lift. You’ll get good momentum and swing. Just use one of those rocks you just threw to distract him. Idiot.

Ok, she shot fake Russell/Ryan in the back while he was wrestling with the detective. The first shot was fairly high in the chest and had a pretty good chance of hitting his lung or something important, but he’s still able to come at her. Her second shot got him in the upper right abdomen, so probably the liver and he just goes down... dead. FFS. At least have shot him in the heart area, that would’ve been slightly more believable. Oh well, I guess that’s that. A little follow up with the detective and Jenn. She’s moving back to San Jose (hopefully she’s getting a new place since her parents were murdered in her old house) and the detective is moving to AZ even though he never found his daughter that had gone missing as a child many years ago (a part of his backstory that brought nothing to the story and was never resolved).

Guys, this was not a great movie. I did kind of enjoy tearing it apart though.

[sunevial]

What can you tell us about the side characters for Space and Magic Gays?

(For those of you not in the know, Space and Magic Gays refers to Two Together Are Always Going Somewhere. Go here for any terminology.)

Well, I have both a lot of information and probably not enough information, so let’s do this.

Clarissa Araya, 25 years old, cis woman, pansexual and polyamorous, currently involved in two romantic relationships (only one of which will be presented in this post because I’ve only really fleshed out one of them). She is from Toven, knows a little bit of healing magic, but is currently in graduate school for physical therapy. She is Sol’s best friend and roommate since their early college years. Kind hearted, possesses a strong moral compass, a bit nosy, and far too invested into Sol’s love life.

Michalis Christakos, 23 years old, trans man, bisexual, currently involved in a romantic relationship with Clarissa. He is from Toven, formerly an internationally competitive swimmer (swam relay and medley) before he injured his shoulder in a freak accident. He’s currently working as a university swim coach while also working towards a mechanical engineering degree. Extroverted, competitive, cheery and loves the spotlight, but is a flustered mess in relationships.

Ginger Slightsee, 27 years old, cis woman, demisexual panromantic. Her eyes are currently closed because the creator for this did not allow her to have completely pupil-less eyes (they’re a bright, almost unnerving shade of green). She is from Screl and possesses telepathic and telekinetic abilities, as well as something called ‘aura sight’, which allows her to sense people’s emotions and magical abilities. Unrelated to her magical abilities, she also has a form of synesthesia that associates sounds with colors. Despite being born on Screl, she currently lives on Toven working as a lawyer and ‘human’ rights activist. Passionate, highly intelligent, and an old friend of Sol’s.

Copper Johnston-Slipstream, 17 years old, intersex and genderfluid, pansexual. They are Sol’s little sibling, still in highschool, and has been bullied out of multiple institutions for a number of different reasons. Like their older sister, they can use elemental magics, preferring to manipulate and control energy. Normally a kind person, they are a big risk taker and have a lot of residual trauma from the public school system on Toven, having been bullied for their magic and their gender identity multiple times. They and their parents have since moved to Screl, where they are faring better. Loves kickboxing.

Plum Softsilk, 25 years old, cis woman, heterosexual. Born and raised in Screl, she has the ability to shapeshift and transmute items (think changing lead to gold). Forced to flee her war-torn home with an aunt, she just barely finished high school before starting work as a tailor and seamstress. An old family friend of Sol’s, she is known for being wise beyond her years, hardworking, and determined to send money back home. She is looking to get married and start a family.

Jasper ‘Juiana’ Brightfoot, 23 years old, cis woman, lesbian. Raised in a mountainous region of Screl, she and her family work closely with a group of dragons as martial artists and magical item hunter/gatherers. Unlike most people from her world, she doesn’t care much for magic at all, preferring the use of chi (which may or may not be a form of magic, it’s still up for debate). Patient, a good judge of character, and brutally honest, she knows Sol’s family well, and the two could be considered friends.

Rodren Kevestka, 24 years old, cis man, gay. A marshal in Ylxret’s army, he specializes in shutting down faulty machines and code, rewriting or destroying programs in order to contain threats. He doesn’t have a ton to do these days, but he keeps himself busy occasionally dealing with acid spitter incursions. Bit of a prankster in his down time, but very serious about his work. He and Venny went to school together, and the two keep in touch as much as they can.

Josie Lescratsa, 25 years old, cis woman, bisexual. A hard light architect and occasional hobbyist pilot, she works in producing crystaline structures and buildings on Ylxret, building and finely tuning structures into works of art. Her mother is from Ylxret, but her father is from Toven, resulting in her naturally bright green hair. A childhood friend of Venny, the two of them got into plenty of mischief together, and she plans to visit her friend when she gets a day or two off work. High energy and confidence for days.

Telya Vlecsarin, 26 years old, demigirl, asexual and aromantic. Born and raised on Ylxret, she is especially skilled in the creation of new programs and software, and thus has been working as a robotics engineer since she was a little girl. Highly intelligent, and a little high strung, she is working day and night on developing artificial intelligence for robots. She’s an old friend of Venny’s, if a bit too absorbed in her work to always keep in touch.

[justanotherloveaffair]

All That You Can’t Leave Behind [Part 4/14]

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader, T’Challa x Reader

Warnings: Language, smut (NSFW)

Word Count: 2,451

Summary: Reader and T’Challa meet to talk business, but the evening seems more like a date…

Author’s Note: These chapters are getting longer and longer, lol.

Part 1   Part 2    Part 3

Your name: Submit (what is this?) 

When you find out a King is going to pay you a visit, certain imagery comes to mind. Certain expectations. Royal clothing. Servants, maybe. Surely a trailing crowd of flashing cameras.

What showed up at your door was a normal looking, albeit abnormally attractive, casually dressed man wearing a long-sleeved black shirt and grey slacks. You stood for a moment in the doorway looking at each other while you tried to hide your appreciation of his upper body, as well as your total surprise at him dressed so differently than how you’d seen him in person and in every photo you’d saved.

“I see you put on some clothes for me,” T’Challa said with a wide, brazen smile and your eyebrows lifted in surprise.

You reached out and smacked his arm. “Hey,” you squeaked, admonishing both him and yourself for letting him catch you off guard. You were trying to queue up a snappy response but he had knocked you off your game in the first ten seconds. “I thought we agreed to forget about that.” You replied with as much mock disapproval as you could muster while you reached down to grab your purse.

When you turned back to the door, T’Challa looked at you as if he were picturing you naked that very second and replied smoothly, “I don’t recall such an agreement. And there are some things a man doesn’t forget.” Not missing a beat, he held out his arm. “Shall we?”

*

The destination was a ramen bar in mid-town. When he mentioned it as you exited the building together, you knew Steve had divulged to him your favourite place, because there were too many damn ramen bars on even one block for it to have been a coincidence.

The journey was loud, busy, rainy, wet and jammed with early-season tourists out on a Friday night. Your umbrellas dodged and weaved around each other’s and he impressively kept pace as you negotiated the space around people exiting subways, crowds milling about street performers, tourists and NYC-natives alike staring at phones while they walked. The typical shit one learns to deal with in Manhattan.

Twenty minutes later, you acknowledged with a nod and a smile the presence of a busker who often played his saxophone just outside of Totto Ramen and you continued to the front door. Once inside, you scanned for an empty table and hurriedly pulled your companion over to the first one you saw. This was NYC and you had to be quick, especially in the theatre district on a Friday.

As you settled in, tucking your wet umbrellas away, T’Challa seemed taken in by nearly everything around him. It was a look you were used to seeing when your family members came to visit – charmed, and a little overwhelmed.

“I imagine this is very different to Wakanda,” you said while offering him a plastic menu, filled with pictures of slightly different looking bowls of noodles. His eyes glazed over slightly at the number of choices.

“Very much, and I am relying on you to help me, entle.”

A moment later a young woman came by for your order and you confidently took the reins to order a bowl of shoyu ramen for him, your usual bowl of tsukemen, and, what the hell, two Sapporos. The beers came first, and the dark, steaming bowls of ramen not long after.

You learn a lot about a person when you eat ramen together, and not just how good they are with chopsticks (T’Challa was terrible). You learned he wasn’t afraid of trying new things. He ate the pork, the bamboo shoots, the egg. He eagerly tried the tsukemen when you offered. You learned he could laugh at his awkward chopstick holding. He treated the waitress with respect, and to you, he acted like a man on his first date, sweet and attentive to everything you said. You hadn’t talked about anything related to the reason Steve gave you and you were beginning to think it had been entirely made up. Was this…. a date?

When the check came, you quickly grabbed it, folding some bills you’d pre-pulled from your wallet and handed it back to the waitress before there was any chance for protest. You shot a defiant smile at T’Challa who pursed his lips at you in pretend anger and you gave up your seats for the long line of people waiting.

He bent down to say a “thank you” into your ear so he could be heard over the noisy diners. You felt his hand ever so gently guiding you forward, at the small of your back. It was that familiar, ownership-showing kind of boyfriend touch that even Steve didn’t use when you went out and damn, you liked it, a lot. It gave you that light feeling of butterflies, and the adrenaline-rush thought that anything could happen.

As you headed outside, the night seemed full of possibilities.

*

You followed his lead. It was thankfully less crowded now, and you walked slower and without your umbrellas. You felt the absence of his hand, missing his fingertips that were no longer grazing your back. For a full block you dared yourself to reach out and touch him, pull his hand to yours. But you didn’t.

You noticed you were getting somewhat closer to your area of town. You had been walking in companionable silence until he said, sighing, “I suppose we should talk about the business Steve told you about.”

A part of you deflated a little that this wasn’t an elaborate date Steve had set you up on, but a means to an end, for the good of Wakanda.  You smiled to yourself. “I suppose we should.”

“How about we talk in here?” He stopped at the entrance of an inviting-looking, dimly lit wine bar with red painted windows. You weren’t about to say no to sharing this intimate space with him, so you nodded and followed him inside.

It was his turn to surprise you as you looked over the wine list, seated at a tiny high-table near the street-facing window. He obviously knew his way around the menu, especially the French reds and when you questioned him, he said “there are some things you need to know when you’re a King, and wine is one of them.” You realized it had been nearly a whole night you’d been out with him and this was one of the first times his official title had come up. He’d been, and continued to be, so disarmingly down to earth.

You let him order for you this time, and as the waitress wrote down two orders of cabernet franc he winked at you and promised, “It’s full-bodied, you’ll like it.”

Turns out the wine, and his confidence that you would enjoy it, were both hitting their target with perfect precision.

Finally, after you got a few sips in, T’Challa began “the pitch.” What followed were a lot of details and unnecessary backstory that you’d already forgotten as he marched on through a series of names and words you barely understood like “Vibranium” and “Dora Milaje.” You kept nodding and smiling and a few full minutes after your mind went numb he finally slowed down and noticed your confusion.

“I am sorry, let me simplify. We need your help to find the source of some faulty programming with the utmost discretion. Can you help?”

The programmer in you said there was no problem you couldn’t solve. The nervous girl who was slightly starting to fall for someone she just met realized this was going to be big trouble.

*

You gathered from the rest of the conversation much of the details had already been planned based on you saying yes. (That Steve. He knew you too well.) Officially this trip of yours was unofficial official business. You would be looking for a needle in a haystack of code, so to speak, and not their own code, which would be unreadable to you, but outside, non-Wakandan intelligence software. T’Challa promised people who knew more about it than him would give you your briefing.

What you had to decide, by the time you reached the bottom of that glass of wine, was how soon you could come.

You exhaled while mentally running through your schedule for the next two weeks to make the snap decision that he needed. “I need… a day? Is that okay?”

The furrow in his brow disappeared as a look of relief washed over him. “Yes. I will make the arrangements for Sunday.” Your hand was then enveloped by his fingers, gently slipping beneath yours while his thumb rested, warm and heavy, on your wrist. “I know this is a lot to ask, and I am grateful, Y/N.”

His silky touch made your mouth go dry and a familiar warm thudding began in your body. This, combined with two glasses of wine made you crave the cool air outside. You were actually grateful when the bill came.

The wine bar wasn’t far from your home. As you started walking in the quiet evening air, he once again took hold of your fingers, to pull your small hand into his bigger grasp. Considering how we’d met, you were taken aback by how intimate and exciting this tiny act was.

When you felt calm enough to speak, you casually asked his plans for the next day and you learned there was a Wakandan Embassy right here in New York, where he planned to do some work before Sunday. When you asked how long the flight was to Wakanda, so you could prepare for the trip he smiled as if you’d made a joke and you felt silly and stupid without knowing why.

“Only pack what you can’t do without. You will be well taken care in Wakanda, entle.”

You had somehow gotten right to your door when he said that final word. He turned to face you, your hand still in his and you were dying to know how this night would end.

“Thank you for this evening. You were – are, wonderful company and I look forward to much more of it.” You soaked up his words, your eyes riveted to his full lips that were so close and inviting.

You felt your whole body deflate when he let go of your hand and said with a note of finality, “I wish you a good night.”

A half second after he started to withdraw from the porch step you picked up his hand, pulled him towards you and his arms opened instinctively for you to step into them. Your lips met with a crash, spurred by your hunger that he almost seemed surprised by. You hummed when his mouth began to move with yours. Your hand dropped his and cupped the back of his head. The kiss deepened with his tongue lightly teasing yours, bringing another groan to your lips. You felt yourself enveloped completely in his arms. This being your second kiss, it struck you again how passionate he was and how fully he gave himself in the moment. You wanted this to continue and pulled him against you as your hand went into your bag for your keys.

He broke away from you then, breathing heavily. “Y/N, I….” His hand closed into a fist and he pulled your hand away from him. “I can’t stay, I’m sorry.” He pressed his forehead to yours and looked at you apologetically. “Please don’t misunderstand. I promise, there will be another time.”

He was so earnest that you couldn’t help but smile and feel a little guilty. This wasn’t even a date, after all and you were already trying to drag him into your house.

“No apology needed T’Challa.”

He kissed you again, sweetly pressing your lips together before saying goodnight.

Your heart felt heavy as you took the elevator up alone. When you got inside, there were texts from Steve waiting for you and in your aroused and frustrated state you were grateful when he offered to come over.

Twenty minutes later when his imposing figure stood in your door frame, he looked like he knew exactly what had happened and said with a knowing smile, “He stiff you at the door?” You nodded and let out a laugh as Steve hoisted you up, your legs locking around his narrow waist, and he walked back towards your bedroom. You were thankful for your open and easy friendship with Steve where you held nothing back from each other. No boundaries, no questions, no games.

Steve dropped you down on your bed and peeled off his shirt while you hurried out of your clothes. As he laid his naked body down over you his fingers went straight to your core where they slipped easily up and down your folds. “Ooh, he got you going, huh?” His eyes glittered in the dark and yours rolled backwards while you groaned, “You have no fucking idea.”

Steve laughed and muttered, “that teasing bastard,” while his finger slipped in to your instantly responding body. He found no need to prepare you further and you readied yourself, opening your legs for him to settle between. His cock found little resistance and you pulled him down into you, moaning your approval while he filled you. You sank your hands into his long blonde hair and he bent to suck and kiss your neck, moving his hips at just the right angle to hit you deeply at the end of each thrust. He lifted himself up on straightened arms to concentrate his power in his bucking hips that began slapping against yours harder and harder. “Just… like… that…” you soon started to cry. Your fingers dug into his wrists, the nails biting down into his skin hard in response to an onslaught of thrusts. “Fuuuu-cckkkk” you cried, your voice competing with the sound of the headboard repeatedly smacking the wall. Steve began to mutter encouragements for you to come, and not long after that you stilled completely, entirely, selfishly focused on your orgasm and making it last as long as possible. Soon after his cries joined yours, his rapid movements slowed to languid, exhausted thrusts as the final sparks of pleasure dissipated from your sweating bodies.

You half-crawled over him after he fell onto his back and one arm came around to pull you close under his chin. “Grateful for you, Steve.” You whispered tiredly.

A soft chuckle fell from his lips, and he turned to kiss your temple. “Love you too, Y/N.”

[violetren]

The Master of Puppets Chapter 13

"...if she doesn’t think you’ve picked the right target to accomplish those goals, she’ll re-task herself and kill the person she thinks will have the desired impact.” “That can’t go over well,” Hayami said. “No,” Mamachi said. “Especially not with Arthan. He still uses her, because there is literally no one else who can do some of the things she does, but I think he was looking for a replacement."

So he thought "oh I know, I'll try her nibling that she has been trying to shelter from front line war action and who SCORED LOW on resistance to enemy propaganda."

How in the fuck did he think that was gonna go?

Like I guess it allows for a plan B of "the Char kill Karusa triggering the vengeful streak that made Jakari so deadly in the first place" but that was NEVER one hundred percent guaranteed to be how things would go down with a fucking high conversion risk agent.

Rather than looking for a replacement in such an obviously faulty candidate Arthan shoulda just got Karusa assigned to one of the more dangerous battlefields and then used the possibility of getting them back safely as a carrot for Jakari right up until Karusa did what idiot kids at war do and get dead so he could point directly at the Char as the perpetrators and then watch Jakari fucking go. Sure there is still room for error but a lot less lower than just handing the Char a new agent up to date on that centuries latest Suil intelligence maneuvers and code techniques.

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[sophygurl]

WisCon 42 panel Black Lightning

Black Lightning panel description: 

The CW, host of DCTV shows Arrow, Flash, Supergirl, and Legends of Tomorrow, is now the network to go to for the television adaptation of the classic comic Black Lightning! The show focuses on a black family—the father, a retired superhero and current high school principal, dons his supersuit once more to protect his daughters. It seems at least one of the daughters are developing powers of theirs own. One of the daughters is a lesbian, adding more intersecting identities that are rarely see on TV. This show seems to be a smart, funny, political, action-packed family drama - with super powers. Let's celebrate, discuss, and critique this exciting new show!

Moderator Inda Lauryn with panelists Jennifer Cross, JP Fairfield, Alex Jennings, and Krys. 

Reminder that these panel notes are only my own recollections and the things I managed to write down - my notes are incomplete and likely faulty in places. Corrections and additions are always welcome. Especially please do correct me if I get names or pronouns wrong!

Also I name panelists as that’s publicly available information but not audience members unless requested by that person to have their named added.

[Ugh this was my first panel of the morning and my handwriting is extra-bad. I’ll be skipping chunks in which I can’t make out what I meant to write!]

Inda started the panelist intros off with the question of what DC comic character they’d like to see on TV.

JP answered with Nubia, Wonder Woman’s sister. Krys said Static. Jennifer replied with Monica Rambeau. Alex said Static might in fact end up on Black Lightning but gave his answer as Hal Jordan’s Green Lantern, but if Hal was black. Inda answered saying she’d like a proper Vixen live action show. 

Alex talked about how Black Lightning is standing up well so far against the comics, which he has been a fan of for awhile. He says BL is the linchpin for the black sector of DC comics. The daughters become part of the Titans for awhile, etc.

One thing Alex does not want to see on the show is Jefferson acting as a villain for an extended period of time as being undercover with the Outsiders.

Jennifer really liked the depiction of Freeland in the show as it’s own character, and showing black life in their own cities.

Alex explained that in the comics, it’s a black neighborhood in Metropolis. 

Inda said that technically, right now, BL is separate from the rest of the DCTV universe. Jennifer said there was that line about Black Canary, though. JP said they’ve waffled about it. She wants it to be part of the overall universe (even though Black Lightning is better written than the other shows), to deal with the intersectional issues of all these white vigilantes and how they fit in with police oppression of black neighborhoods. 

Jennifer said that Arrow had a storyline about police oppression but they All Live Mattered it. She added - let’s just keep the rich white man away. 

JP said BL could teach them how to be superheroes though, since they’re all a bunch of screw-ups. They’d have to pay him though! 

Krys said that Supergirl never addresses race.

Alex said the most recent Supergirl episode kind of dealt with it, but Flash never addresses it even though two of the main characters are black.

I asked from the audience - what if only James Olsen got to interact with the BL world (thinking maybe it’d help him to have some actual black people to talk to about these things?), and JP answered - oh they’d have to finally give him something to do?

JP wants Jefferson to “taser punch” Ollie.

Inda asked the panelists what they would change about the show.

JP wants more representation of black families, and not just one kind. She likes that they’re giving them room to grow and that the two daughters have different world views. She doesn’t like some of Jefferson’s respectability politics, however. 

Alex agrees and hopes the show will address that. He said the comic origins of BL are frankly hard to read - for example he puts on an afro wig when he dresses as BL.

Jennifer said the reason - not an excuse - that Jefferson has those respectability politics is that he is trying to help the kids in his community learn to code switch so that they can leave if they want to. 

Krys talked about the history with Jefferson and his powers and how that explains a lot of his worldview. She doesn’t like it, but she understands where he’s coming from.

JP added - but he low-key looks down on his own community.

Jennifer said that was addressed somewhat when Khalil comes back. She doesn’t like Khalil, but appreciated that he said what he did to Jefferson. 

There was an audience question about queerness - I didn’t get down the exact question.

Inda said they were going there - she was going to talk about the women on the show next, so let’s start with Anissa.

JP said all the women have different goals and needs in their life and they can disagree with each other and still support one another. Also with Anissa - her family is okay with her and her being gay is a non-issue for them, which is nice.

Jennifer said she likes to think it was intentional that it’s not addressed within the show - the family’s reaction to Anissa coming out could have been different, but the show starting with them accepting her destroys the stereotype about black people being inherently homophobic. She also likes that Anissa is openly gay, but that’s not the focus of who she is as a character.

Krys likes how involved Anissa is in the community and how that’s an important part of her character.

Inda wanted more of Grace once we met her, but is hoping there will be more of her in the next season.

JP liked that the minute Khalil got creepy, Jennifer got away from him. It didn’t turn into one of those “oh but I love him!” stories.

Inda said she did teenager well because she wanted to smack her around a bit.

Jennifer’s issue with Grace was that because she’s not black, there is a component of black queer love missing on her TV. Anissa leaving a black woman for Grace hurt a little bit because of the issue of black women being seen as the least desirable. 

Inda said she loved Lady Eve as a villain and hated the way she died, but at least she kept a sense of being human through to the end. JP said they should have kept her as the Big Bad for the whole season. Alex said - she’ll get better. (lol - this then became a repeated a line about any character that had died)

Jennifer talked about Tobias as being the literal embodiment of internalized anti-blackness. She loves a good villain who gets his own hands dirty, and loved that they chose an actor with albinism. 

Inda liked Tobias and that they gave him a good villain backstory. One of the best villains on DCTV.

Alex said he likes that Tobias is played by a pretty decent rapper. He likes the proper gravitas that he brings to the role, as well. He does wish that instead of intimidating his underlings, he’d have explained his worldview about how the world needs them - especially with respectability politics on the other side of things. He also loved the tattooed guy.

Inda brought up the music on the show. JP loved the music. Krys loved the mix of older songs and newer ones to match specific scenes, themes, and events.

Jennifer liked the aspect of multi-generational music and how it captured the themes. She gave a lot of examples that I was apparently too tired to write down beyond “lots of examples” - sorry about that. She also talked about how she wants the show to use it’s platform to feature more new artists like it did in the pilot. 

Inda liked when the show used music humorously. An audience member brought up the scene with Stairway to Heaven and how weird and confusing it was - lots of laughing about it. 

JP still wanted Lady Eve as the main villain and wanted to see her fight Tobias. 

Jennifer said to get rid of Syonide - she serves no purpose. “Why are you here? Are you our Becky translator?” 

JP liked that there were two dimensional white characters - it was the opposite of mainly white shows having two dimensional black characters and felt appropriate. 

Alex said some of the minor villains are “wack” - Khalil as painkiller for example. He hated him in the comics and his name makes no sense. (lol)

There was a whole discussion about black character’s hair and how quickly they change from one style to the other getting into costume and how ridiculous it is. Jennifer did love Anissa’s battle hair, though.

Jennifer also talked about loving the father-daughter relationships. She and Krys both had similar stories as Jennifer’s roller rink fight. 

Inda is thankful they already changed Anissa’s super suit. Then said that the show has been renewed for another season, and asked the panelists what they’d like to see next.

JP said Anissa and Jen kicking ass together. Krys said Jennifer getting a suit and training and generally coming into her powers. 

Jennifer said she’d like to see how these characters do time management? Anissa, especially, does a lot - how is she doing it all? Jefferson, too. This is an issue she was with superhero universes in general. (uh-huh)

Alex wants to see Jakeem Thunder introduced into the show as it would also introduce the universe to aspects of magic. 

Inda would like a little less addressing of police brutality in the future. More hero/villain stuff - but she does like that Freeland is a microcosm.

JP added that police brutality is not usually the focus of black lives - it’s just something that happens while going about their lives.

Krys wants more followup with the kids and the green lightning and Jefferson possibly being a mentor to them.

Jennifer wants more family stuff. Also Tobias showing some remorse - he got over his sister’s death really fast. She also feels they rushed Khalil’s origin story. As someone who is unapologetically Team Killmonger, she wants more complexity in her villains. 

JP said the story really missed out on the treatment of Tobias and his relationship with his sister. They established their relationship to the point of her even searching for their father so he could kill him. 

Alex interjected with “you don’t think Tobias will bring her back?!” An audience member said they should bring her back to save the actress from the Tyler Perry show she moved on to. Panelists all agree with this assessment. 

Someone from the audience asked about the role of the afterlife, as well as the Vice Principal character.

JP discussed how they brought back LaLa, so maybe they will explore that a little more. As far as the VP - she never trusted her. At first she thought she was after his job, then after him, then turns out she’s an agent. There were all of these different angles of trying to get closer to him, but the fact that she doesn’t want to believe Jefferson is BL indicates some of those feelings might have been real.

Jennifer said she doesn’t want to go on a rant about those mismatched wigs but... that character is shady but also conflicted. As “Big Bad Chad” pointed out, she was spending a lot of time with Jefferson. Is she compromised? Yea, she is. Jennifer would prefer the character not come back unless they give her something else to do, however. 

As far as the afterlife, Jennifer liked that the show is using subtle notes of black folklore and what people she knows have been raised with. She added “sorry white people, but this show knows it is not for you.” 

Alex said the afterlife stuff only makes sense if spirits are real with the tattoo guy. Maybe the guy Tobias paid to bring him back didn’t tell him that part, and that there is magic involved. 

Krys noted that the spiritual stuff in the show seemed personalized to each character.

An audience member asked about the sister’s different approaches to their powers. 

Inda said that Jennifer just freaked out and didn’t want them, but did use them to save her father’s life. She saw how it could be a good thing, and now she is on a journey of acceptance.

JP added that she’s not all into her powers, but sees the benefits of them - she’s like a battery for her father!

Jennifer talked about Anissa accepting her powers right away because she’s always been about wanting to help her community and so she immediately saw her powers in that light. Jennifer didn’t initially want them - but when it came to her family, she stepped up. She might struggle with having powers, but when she has to use them, she’ll do it.

JP asked Alex if in the comics, it turns out Jennifer is the most powerful in the family. He said yes - and also that they can use their powers together in interesting ways.

An audience member brought up an article about black heroes and that the powers they have tend to be elemental - earth, wind, fire.

Alex said this is true even in other media, such as Captain Planet. It happens a lot, even now. He would like to see more tech-based powers.

Jennifer said but we are on planet earth, and she loved Storm and how she could literally turn the earth against people. She would like to move away from the Magical Negro trope but also likes the idea of having earth-based powers at their disposal. 

More talk about issues of hair and fighting. Jennifer said you really don’t want loose hair when fighting. But the hairstyle Anissa chooses is an ode to Ashanti warrior women. It’s not practical, however. 

Inda talked about the suspension of disbelief as far as people not being able to recognize them with just masks over their eyes. An audience member said that they explained this at least with BL that it hurts to look directly at him. Inda said that was only in a conversation between the daughters, so it’s possible it has to do with their own powers and isn’t a function of BL’s powers alone.

Jennifer said she would like more investigation into green light and the vaccine and the organization behind it all.

JP said - let’s talk about Gambi and his guilt about being a part of the whole thing. 

Jennifer said she is tired of this trope of the the white guy who somehow didn’t know that this covert agency he was a part of was going to do some dirty shit. It’s almost better if he’s just guilty because he knew what he was getting into but wants to do better now. She lost interest in Gambi when Lady Eve died.

JP didn’t want Jefferson to forgive him so easily. Maybe he did it because they had to work together but she wants him to still be mad about what happened.

Inda mentioned the impulse for shows to give us white redemption.

Jennifer added that it might be more of a white-passing issue than white because of his actual last name being Esposito. 

Inda liked having a white character in that role because “we don’t question white people in our spaces” so he could have easily moved in those communities doing what he did. 

[And that’s all I got. Lovely, lively panel with gobs of info and just lots of fun!]