#Library Information Management System

[possiblyunhinged]

I feel like if I don’t write about this, I’m going to lose my fucking mind.

Seeing how quickly the presumed narrative spun when people found out the prick in Liverpool who drove into a crowd was white is the perfect encapsulation of what we are failing to deal with in this country—because the noise is growing. The second it didn’t match the fantasy of who they wanted it to be, everything quietened down. Not because they care any less—but because it’s no longer useful to the narrative.

We have managed to create an environment where we can barely focus on tragedy and feel for the victims and their families without also bracing for what’s going to happen next—how it’ll be weaponised to justify more violence, racism, division.

It’s fucking exhausting.

Now, am I saying context doesn’t matter? Of course not. There’s always context. But we’ve created a culture where people are so desperate to feel something—so obsessed with reactive emotion—that they stop asking the only question that matters: why the fuck are these things happening?

And the truth is, a lot of people don’t actually want answers. They want a target. They want noise. They want to scream and perform rage because it’s the only time they feel anything other than doom. And that’s not just depressing—it’s dangerous.

What terrifies me most is how tribal it all becomes. You see people go quiet the second they realise the person responsible is white. Then comes the pivot. The reframing. The desperate scramble to make the facts fit the fantasy. And what’s left? A bunch of flag-shagging weirdos talking about how “if it was a Muslim, they’d be protecting his identity.” No. They released it swiftly because you’re so fucking malleable to vertically challenged fascists that the moment someone feeds you false information, you’re in One Stop grabbing tinnies to go throw bricks at a library. And you dare call yourself logical?

What makes me want to scream is that the people who stoke this hatred—the ones who profit off the misery shoved onto working-class communities—aren’t even working class. They’re rich pricks who failed at being Tories, failed at being liked, failed at being wealthy enough to blend into the world they want to rule. So instead, they turn to the people hurting most and offer them a villain. They speak to anger, fear, loneliness. They offer connection, even if it’s just in hate. And yeah, it fucking works.

Does it suck that the left isn’t adequately challenging this? Absolutely. There’s an emotional void being filled by people like Farage and Robinson because the left has, for years, treated working-class culture with disdain. Until working-class people are no longer treated like collateral damage in the rich’s little game of “aspiration,” this will keep happening. Anything that feeds into widespread conspiracy, even for a second, becomes a weapon. And we’re the ones getting stabbed with it.

And they have the audacity to frame it all as patriotism? Fuck off.

Yes, the left has a long and present history of shunning patriotism, of mocking people who feel tied to their culture or communities. And no, calling white working-class people “uncultured” or saying “England has no culture” doesn’t help. It alienates people who already feel shut out of the conversation. It creates a vacuum—and right-wing opportunists know exactly how to fill it.

Look, as unpopular as this might be among lefties like myself—I fucking love England. I hate huge parts of our history. I find it miserable how illiterate and biased we are about it—the effect colonialism still has on the world. I hate our government. Our political system is rancid. I hate what it’s done to people like us.

I’m also a fucking loser who wants to believe we can still fight for something better—for our own sake. And also because, frankly, life without hope is quite literally meaningless.

And you know what I fucking love? Rain. Grumpy old people at bus stops. Men kissing their mates on the head in pubs. Conversations about petty gripes that end in laughter. The way we mangle old English idioms into daily speech. Not having to explain jokes. Arsehole pigeons. The fact that you can play with how you talk to people here—because irony and sarcasm are the bedrock of how we connect. Yeah, tall poppy syndrome is real, but when we see someone getting picked on, we switch and defend them in a second. Robbie Williams. Robbie Williams. Robbie fucking Williams. 

I want to live in a country that doesn’t bend to the will of rich people. That doesn’t treat community like it’s embarrassing. That doesn’t turn working-class grief into clickbait for fascists. That doesn't make you feel like a mug for caring, or for wanting something softer than this.

British culture used to pride itself on wit—on not being emotionally erratic clowns. Might be time we got a bit of that back.

[cryptotheism]

Amber skies question: I'm very interested in the postal service mouse folk in your setting! What sort of initation/training would someone need to go through to join the postal service? Also, in the rig cartalk show, they talked about the rigs used by the postal service, so I'm curious if there's rig-smiths within the postal service, or if it's a situation of them just having long running trade agreements and favored models of rig when trading?

Hope you're having a good one, love your work!

It's actually a rabbinical system. Becoming a posthand is an arduous process that involves a lot of memorizing philosophy around the importance of proper archive management and information flow, library sciences, and the importance of the preservation of history. You have to have a current posthand who acts as a sort of sponsor/mentor through the process, and you are eventually evaluated by a panel of higher ranking posthands.

It takes roughly four years of training to join as an initiate posthand, and then another four of active route service under a mentor before you become a full member. It's a dangerous job that many small communities rely upon. The standards are taken quite seriously.

Rigsmiths are generally part of a guild. Recently, the postal service contracts with a rig shop out of the Teykile, where they produce the ALBATROSS, PELICAN, and KINGFISHER model rigs, which are themselves pattered after 2nd era reframes of an old-world military shipping surplus rig, the EXO U4. The postal service custom-orders these models in bulk, and they we're designed to postal service specifications.

Generally they contract for new models every four to five years depending on need and price point. However, postal outposts generally have an on-site pit crew. (Usually one guy, who charges reasonable prices for civilians if you need a tune up.)

[blogthebooklover]

30 Things I Learned As An Adult

In honor of me turning 30 in January, I’ve decided to write out a list of 30 things I learned as an adult.  Now, some of these worked for me through trial and error, while others did not.

1. Self Care Is Important

I cannot stress this enough.  We all need to practice self care, to take time for ourselves.  It takes baby steps to find a good self-care routine, and there’s plenty of online resources to find one to your tastes.  Remember it is all about trial and error, and don’t worry about perfecting it right away.  Research some different self care routines online as a starting point.

2. Read Books, Not Fanfiction

Okay, don’t get me wrong, I do love reading some good ole fanfiction, and current events.  However, definitely pick up a book once in a while.  Whether it’s a graphic novel, comics, manga, please develop a reading habit.  It definitely helped me out a lot as a former college dropout, there are reading lists on sites like Goodreads, here on Tumblr, even colleges have lists what books students are required to read.  And it does help with expanding your knowledge and vocabulary.  As I’ve previously said, I’m a former college dropout who’s currently back in school, however, developing a healthy reading habit is what kept me grounded.  If you need a starting point, I recommend reading a fiction book, preferably in the SciFi/Fantasy genre; or reread a book from your childhood.  Also, PLEASE GET A LIBRARY CARD!  You’ll definitely be saving a lot of money, and we need to support our public libraries now more than ever.

3. Say “No” More Often

If you don’t feel comfortable going out, or if your manager calls and asks to cover a shift, just say “no.”  Remember, you have the power to set boundaries, especially with family, friends, and work.  This correlates to number 1 on my list, self care is super important, and you cannot put your health at risk for anyone.  I’m going to repeat that last part: SELF CARE IS SUPER IMPORTANT, AND YOU CANNOT PUT YOUR HEALTH AT RISK FOR ANYONE!

4. Register To Vote, And Vote In Every Election

With politics being so polarized and divisive in the past decade, and the upcoming 2024 US Presidential Election, please register to vote.  And voter suppression has been very rampant in the past two, arguably three, decades.  To anyone about to turn 18 here in the US, please register to vote ASAP!  And vote in every goddamn election, both national and local.  I seriously cannot stress this enough.

5. Eat Healthy, No Seriously

I love some fast food once in a while now, however, please take some time to learn about healthy eating.  It will catch up with you in the future, and our US healthcare system is already fucked as all hell.  I know the rising costs of everything, including food, is insane right now; but please keep informed about how to prepare good healthy food.

6. Take Breaks From Current Events, Social Media, and the Internet

This also correlates with number one.  While it is very important to stay informed with what is happening in the world/country of origin; especially with the US Presidential Election year.  Remember, it’s okay to take breaks from reading too much news, and scrolling through social media feeds.  It really does have an effect on your mental health, and unfortunately too many people tend to fall down the conspiracy theory rabbit hole on all sides of the political spectrum.  To the teenagers and young adults, take breaks and focus on your mental health and well-being.  To the adults, read the previous sentence.  With everything so polarizing, take care of yourself first.  

7. High School Friends DO NOT LAST!

My friends from high school and early college years were definitely the “ride and die” type of  friends, metaphorically speaking.  If you have that one friend who was/is the “give the shirt off their back” type, check in on them once in a while.  However, with the former, just move on.  The friends I had in high school definitely had a lot of childhood trauma, and in one aspect, I’m glad that they were honest about it; it was/is a way to heal.  However, any “friend” who just doesn’t want to better themselves and use you for any convenience, DUMP THEM AND CUT OFF ALL CONTACT!  Remember just as you set boundaries with your toxic family members, and even for your job, you should do the same with friends.

8. Change Jobs, ASAP!

This is a very important one.  I didn’t really have a job as a teenager, I wanted to enjoy being a kid for a little longer, however, I did have an occasional babysitting job.  At 23 years old, I got a job at a fast food place.  While I do appreciate part of the experience, like how to use the “customer service” voice, however, any red flags that pop up in your head, change jobs, ASAP!  It was toxic, too political (for some weird reason) and a lot of drama (and not from the teenagers).  The grocery store I work at now does have its busy times, however, it’s much more calmer, and I don’t see too many “Karen” types. 

9. Declutter More Often

This is also a definite must as you get older.  Whatever you don’t need anymore, donate them.  Whatever is completely broken, throw it away!  Whatever it is that is in good condition, sell it or maybe give it to someone as a birthday/holiday present.  Any old makeup, throw it away!  It’ll help reduce the amount of clutter and mess.  If you need a starting point, I suggest the KonMari method.  It really did help me out a lot.

10.  Use A Planner

This is a life-and-time saver.  Write down any appointments, cleaning days, paydays, bill charges, etc.; into a physical planner.  If you’re in college, please use one!  And write down any assignments to work on/turn in BEFORE the deadline.  Also, anything important, put into your calendar app on your phone and laptop as a reminder.

11.  Have A Skin Care Routine

Okay, I know having a skin care routine isn’t for everyone, and we all have different reactions to skin care products; however, don’t be afraid to experiment with a good skin care routine.  In my early teen years, I used Proactiv skin care for my acne, and it helped out a lot.  Remember: cleanse, tone, any serum of your choice, and moisturize.  This also helps out if you don’t feel like jumping into the shower.  Also, use sunscreen, seriously.

12.  Don’t Get Married, Until You’re Ready

This is coming from someone who is single, lol.  If you plan on getting married to your romantic partner, I’m proud of you! Marriage is about communication, being honest, and doing equal amount of work (finances, household chores, etc.)  Save money if you’re planning for a wedding, or go to your local courthouse to get a marriage license if you don’t want the big, fancy reception.  

13.  Don’t Have Kids, Until You’re Ready

Again, this is coming from someone who is single and childless, lol.  Having kids is a lot of work: physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially.  Not everyone is capable of being a parent, and I have read PLENTY of posts on here and other websites about toxic parents/parenting styles.  Take time and think about if you’re ready to become a parent.

14.  Learn How To Budget Your Money

This is for anyone of any age out there.  Please learn how to budget your spending.  Look for stuff on sale or clearance, or cut back on certain types of spending. I know most people have no idea where to start, but there is! There’s some great websites and YouTube channels on how to budget your money. Another great tool to use are spreadsheets like Microsoft Excel or Google Sheets. I use a Google Sheet template to help track my spending and budget my finances. Also, if you have gift cards from your birthday/holidays/etc; definitely use them, you won't be breaking your bank account :). Also, definitely have some paper cash in your wallet for emergency use.     

15.  Open A Savings/Emergency Funds Account, ASAP!

This is a huge one to have as an adult, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic.  Anything left over from paying the bills, from a side hustle, or from your tax returns, put that into savings.  Certain banks will also have the option of creating “financial goals” in savings accounts; so I highly recommend using that as well.  This also correlates with number 14.  If you’re interested, open two or three savings accounts, the last one should only be for emergency funds.

16.  Get A Physical Hobby, AKA Exercise!

It doesn’t matter what type of exercise you do, please do it!  And for anyone who is physically disabled, there are modified options provided on YouTube.  We do lose certain motor functions as we age, so definitely pick an exercise that’s right for you, as they say. Even if it's just going outside for a walk for 30 minutes, please do some type of exercise.   

17.  Learn How To Meal Prep

It doesn’t have to be for every meal of every day, pick a meal you want to make and prepare ahead of time.  And prepare that meal the day before, so it will be on hand when you leave your house. There are some great videos on YouTube, and some ideas from Pinterest if you need a starting point.

18.  If You’re Able To, Go To The Dentist!

Seriously though, try and go for a checkup/teeth cleaning.  You’re only given one set of teeth after all your baby teeth fall out, and you need to take good care of them.  If you’re able to, or live near to one, local colleges have free cleanings through their dental training programs.   

19.  If Your Job Offers a 401K, GET ON IT NOW!

My old job at a fast food restaurant didn’t have retirement benefits, but my current grocery store job does.  I jumped on it right away, even if it’s not the job I want right now.  And it’s a good starting point to have some money saved up for retirement. If you leave the job that has a 401k, you can do what's called a rollover. This will put the money that was set into the first retirement fund into another one; you can do this with your bank or if your new job has a 401k.

20.  If You Don’t Have Health Insurance, Sign Up With The State, or Through Your Job.

In my experience, I have insurance through the state at the moment.  If your job offers health insurance as well, jump on it right away, even if it’s not the job you want, it’ll be a starting point that correlates with number 19.

21.  It’s Okay To Not Go To College

This is coming from someone who was a college dropout at 19, and currently back in school.  If you don’t feel ready to go to college, that’s okay too.  College is very expensive, especially here in the US, and not everyone can get a scholarship, even if they did apply for a lot of them.  Maybe get a part-time job or two (for some income), explore some hobbies you enjoy, and take some time to think about some goals.     

22. If You’re In College, It’s Okay To Stay At Home

Again, coming from a former college dropout, I stayed at home while attending a nearby community college in another state.  However, out-of-state tuition and housing is also very expensive.  If you have a good relationship with your parents, and if you’re going to school in-state, talk to them about staying home while going to school.  If you don’t, then talk to a trusted friend or family member about getting an apartment together that isn’t on-site housing while you’re attending school.

23. Watch Non-English Language Movies

If you’re a movie lover like me, take some time to watch some foreign language films once in a while; and I know we anime fans do, lol.  To be honest, it does get very boring watching English language films all the time, whether from the States, England, or Canada.  Watching foreign language movies will definitely help you to understand the world a lot better, if you don’t have the means for traveling yet; and they will help you to understand that no matter where we live, we all have similar issues, hopes, dreams, etc.  If you need a starting point, I recommend any of the Studio Ghibli movies, I would start with Kiki’s Delivery Service; or Guillermo del Toro’s Pan’s Labyrinth.  

24. SET BOUNDARIES

Remember: toxic family members and friends are not worth it.  You are worthy and valid for love and respect.  This correlates to number 7.  This is also very useful in the workplace.  

25. Express Yourself Through Fashion

Like everyone else, I feel most comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt myself; however sometimes I like to dress up just for fun, or to build up my self esteem and image.  This also helps when learning to pair an accessory with an outfit.  Play around with different color palettes and clothing styles, and find the one you feel the most “you.”  For example, I’ve always looked my best in jewel tones and a cooler color palette.  Read some fashion articles or watch some YouTube videos about how to pick out an outfit.

26. It Is Not Selfish To Prioritize Yourself

This correlates with number 3.  I have noticed it’s mostly a Western/American/Christian culture norm, we’re always told to take care of others before taking care of ourselves; or we’re selfish for prioritizing ourselves over others. It is not selfish, it is part of self care. Again, this is tied in with number 24.

27.   Failing and Making Mistakes Is Part of Growing

There is so much societal pressure on trying to be successful in life and work, especially in the Western/American hemisphere. However, making mistakes and failing at something is part of growing, and learning as an individual.

28. It's Okay to Not Have a Label to Define Yourself

Hear me out. I understand the use of labels in society and culture in general; everyone wants to belong somewhere and feel accepted. However, it is okay to not have a label to define who you are, and who you want/choose to be. Take all the time you need to figure out what's best for you. And sometimes people don't realize a label will fit them until they are much older in life. Or they couldn't at the time.

29. Don't Compare, You'll Get There

We are human, and we all have the tendency to compare ourselves to others. Unfortunately, this doesn't end after high school and college. And that needs to seriously change, especially in the Western/American hemisphere. Simply writing down "don't compare, you'll get there" is a great reminder to have for yourself. Everyone learns and grows at their own pace.

30. It Really Is The Little Things That Keep Us Going

When life seems to get too hard, it really is the little things that keep us going. Whether it is something as simple as someone holding a door open for you, or someone complimenting* you on your outfit or your work ethic; those moments are the ones that matter the most. Remember those moments, hold on to them.

[maryellencarter]

YouTube Downloads through VLC: Step by Step

[EDIT: I've been receiving reports for some time now that this method no longer works. I suspect something about the switch to YouTube Music as a separate app, and/or YouTube's ongoing attempts to force Chrome use, broke the compatibility with the Github version of youtube.luac -- I haven't managed to look into whether there's an updated working version out there yet. Sorry!]

So this guide to easily downloading off YouTube is super helpful, but there's enough important information hidden in the reblogs that (with the permission of OP @queriesntheories ) I'm doing a more step-by-step version.

Please note: these downloads will be in YouTube quality. My test video download is coming through at 360p, even though the video I'm starting from is set to 720p. They're legible, but they won't look great on a TV. For high visual quality, you'll want to seek out other methods.

This guide is written for Windows 10, since that's what I can test on. It's been tested on Firefox, Chrome, and Edge (which is a Chromium browser, so the method should work in other Chromium browsers too). So far, I haven't tracked down a way to use this download method on mobile.

BASIC KNOWLEDGE:

I'll try to make this pretty beginner-friendly, but I am going to assume that you know how to right-click, double-click, navigate right-click menus, click-and-drag, use keyboard shortcuts that are given to you (for example, how to use Ctrl+A), and get the URL for any YouTube video you want to download.

You'll also need to download and install one or more programs off the internet using .exe files, if you don't have these programs already. Please make sure you know how to use your firewall and antivirus to keep your computer safe, and google any names you don't recognize before allowing permission for each file. You can also hover your mouse over each link in this post to make sure it goes where I'm saying it will go.

YOU WILL NEED:

A computer where you have admin permissions. This is usually a computer you own or have the main login on. Sadly, a shared computer like the ones at universities and libraries will not work for this.

Enough space on your computer to install the programs listed below, if you don't have them already, and some space to save your downloaded files to. The files are pretty small because of the low video quality.

A simple text editing program. Notepad is the one that usually comes with Windows. If it lets you change fonts, it's too fancy. A notepad designed specifically to edit program code without messing it up is Notepad++, which you can download here.

A web browser. I use Firefox, which you can get here. Chrome or other Chrome-based browsers should also work. I haven't tested in Safari.

An Internet connection fast enough to load YouTube. A little buffering is fine. The downloads will happen much faster than streaming the entire video, unless your internet is very slow.

VLC Media Player, which you can get here. It's a free player for music and videos, available on Windows, Android, and iOS, and it can play almost any format of video or audio file that exists. We'll be using it for one of the central steps in this process.

If you want just the audio from a YouTube video, you'll need to download the video and then use a different program to copy the audio into its own file. At the end of this post, I'll have instructions for that, using a free sound editor called Audacity.

SETUP TO DOWNLOAD:

The first time you do this, you'll need to set VLC up so it can do what you want. This is where we need Notepad and admin permissions. You shouldn't need to repeat this process unless you're reinstalling VLC.

If VLC is open, close it.

In your computer's file system (File Explorer on Windows), go to C:\Program Files\VideoLAN\VLC\lua\playlist

If you're not familiar with File Explorer, you'll start by clicking where the left side shows (C:). Then in the big main window, you'll double-click each folder that you see in the file path, in order - so in this case, when you're in C: you need to look for Program Files. (There will be two of them. You want the one without the x86 at the end.) Then inside Program Files you're looking for VideoLAN, and so forth through the whole path.

Once you're inside the "playlist" folder, you'll see a lot of files ending in .luac - they're in alphabetical order. The one you want to edit is youtube.luac which is probably at the bottom.

You can't edit youtube.luac while it's in this folder. Click and drag it out of the playlist folder to somewhere else you can find it - your desktop, for instance. Your computer will ask for admin permission to move the file. Click the "Continue" button with the blue and yellow shield.

Now that the file is moved, double-click on it. The Microsoft Store will want you to search for a program to open the .luac file type with. Don't go to the Microsoft Store, just click on the blue "More apps" below that option, and you'll get a list that should include your notepad program. Click on it and click OK.

The file that opens up will be absolutely full of gibberish-looking code. That's fine. Use Ctrl+A to select everything inside the file, then Backspace or Delete to delete it. Don't close the file yet.

In your web browser, go to https://github.com/videolan/vlc/blob/master/share/lua/playlist/youtube.lua

Click in the part of the Github page that has a bunch of mostly blue code in it. Use Ctrl+A to select all of that code, Ctrl+C to copy it, then come back into your empty youtube.luac file and use Ctrl+P to paste the whole chunk of code into the file.

Save the youtube.luac file (Ctrl+S or File > Save in the upper left corner of the notepad program), then close the notepad program.

Drag youtube.luac back into the folder it came from. The computer will ask for admin permission again. Give it permission.

Now you can close Github and Notepad. You're ready to start downloading!

HOW TO DOWNLOAD:

First, get your YouTube link. It should look something like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abc123DEF45 If it's longer, you can delete any extra stuff after that first set of letters and numbers, but you don't have to.

Now open VLC. Go to Media > Open Network Stream and paste your YouTube link into the box that comes up. Click Play. Wait until the video starts to play, then you can pause it if you want so it's not distracting you during the next part.

(If nothing happens, you probably forgot to put youtube.luac back. coughs)

In VLC, go to Tools > Codec Information. At the bottom of the pop-up box you'll see a long string of gibberish in a box labeled Location. Click in the Location box. It won't look like it clicked properly, but when you press Ctrl+A, it should select all. Use Ctrl+C to copy it.

In your web browser, paste the entire string of gibberish and hit Enter. Your same YouTube video should come up, but without any of the YouTube interface around it. This is where the video actually lives on YouTube's servers. YouTube really, really doesn't like to show this address to humans, which is why we needed VLC to be like "hi I'm just a little video player" and get it for us.

Because, if you're looking at the place where the video actually lives, you can just right-click-download it, and YouTube can't stop you.

Right-click on your video. Choose "Save Video As". Choose where to save it to - I use my computer's built-in Music or Videos folders.

Give it a name other than "videoplayback" so you can tell it apart from your other downloads.

The "Save As Type" dropdown under the Name field will probably default to MP4. This is a good versatile video format that most video players can read. If you need a different format, you can convert the download later. (That's a whole other post topic.)

Click Save, and your video will start downloading! It may take a few minutes to fully download, depending on your video length and internet speed. Once the download finishes, congratulations! You have successfully downloaded a YouTube video!

If you'd like to convert your video into a (usually smaller) audio file, so you can put it on a music player, it's time to install and set up Audacity.

INSTALLING AUDACITY (first time setup for audio file conversion):

You can get Audacity here. If you're following along on Windows 10, choose the "64-bit installer (recommended)". Run the installer, but don't open Audacity at the end, or if it does open, close it again.

On that same Audacity download page, scroll down past the installers to the "Additional resources". You'll see a box with a "Link to FFmpeg library". This is where you'll get the add-on program that will let Audacity open your downloaded YouTube video, so you can tell it to make an audio-only file. The link will take you to this page on the Audacity support wiki, which will always have the most up-to-date information on how to install the file you need here.

From that wiki page, follow the link to the actual FFmpeg library. If you're not using an adblocker, be careful not to click on any of the ads showing you download buttons. The link you want is bold blue text under "FFmpeg Installer for Audacity 3.2 and later", and looks something like this: "FFmpeg_5.0.0_for_Audacity_on_Windows_x86.exe". Download and install it. Without this, Audacity won't be able to open MP4 files downloaded from YouTube.

CONVERTING TO AUDIO:

Make sure you know where to find your downloaded MP4 video file. This file won't go away when you "convert" it - you'll just be copying the audio into a different file.

Open up Audacity.

Go to File > Open and choose your video file.

You'll get one of those soundwave file displays you see in recording booths and so forth. Audacity is a good solid choice if you want to teach yourself to edit soundwave files, but that's not what we're here for right now.

Go to File > Export Audio. The File Name will populate to match the video's filename, but you can edit it if you want.

Click the Browse button next to the Folder box, and choose where to save your new audio file to. I use my computer's Music folder.

You can click on the Format dropdown and choose an audio file type. If you're not sure which one you want, MP3 is the most common and versatile.

If you'd like your music player to know the artist, album, and so forth for your audio track, you can edit that later in File Manager, or you can put the information in with the Edit Metadata button here. You can leave any of the slots blank, for instance if you don't have a track number because it's a YouTube video.

Once everything is set up, click Export, and your new audio file will be created. Go forth and listen!

[iamtheoneandonlyever]

guys, i have to make this library manager thing for my computers class over summer and our teacher gave us zero information on how to actually do it, so im over on youtube learning from a random guy how to do it straight up winging everything bc nobody taught me but i am expected to bring in a polished project, and yknow what?

i think this is how martin felt trying to apply to the magnus institute with absolutely no understanding of a library system

[dokidokitsuna]

Hi! Just wanted to say, love your GONE AU and Dream kingdom AU, I think it's pretty great that you've managed to pull off some cool darker story telling! I remember seeing your lighthearted comics when I was younger, so it really feels great to see some stories that really expand the pallet now that I'm older! And I hope to see more stories like it!

Also! question about the GONE AU if that's okay. Why'd you make the cast hot? What exactly inspired you to really go for it? To make a dark and gory AU like this? Are there anymore beloved kirby characters in this AU that meet unfortunate fates here?

1] Thanks so much! 2] Hot characters are fun; what can I say 3] Like with many of my AUs, I think the tone was directly inspired by the art. Once I drew the Master Crown here and felt that edgy 2013 DeviantArt energy dripping from its design, I knew the story had to follow suit– to become as dark and violent as the webcomics I loved to read back then. ^^; Maybe it’s not obvious, but I’ve always been into content like that; I just haven’t made much effort to get good at drawing it until relatively recently.

4] I couldn’t think of an established tragic GONE. character to talk about, so I made up a new one. Enjoy~

Marx happened to be off-world at the time of the Master Crown’s conquest, and by the time he passed by his favorite planet again, it had been reduced to a dark prison of psychological torment.

So he confronted the Master Crown, insisting that Pop Star belonged to him alone. And although he was ultimately forced to retreat, he repeatedly returned to battle for dominance, no matter how many times he had to stitch himself back together. Thanks to his special ability to absorb power from his surroundings (including the head start he received from the Galactic Nova), he was a force to be reckoned with, and quickly evolved from a familiar nuisance to a genuine threat as the centuries passed.

Before the Master Crown could truly begin to struggle with Marx, however, the Arbiter’s Challenge began, and Star Dream saw an opportunity within the young space jester. It captured Marx easily, mechanized him, and used the shards of the Galactic Nova within his body to upgrade him to a sort of ‘ascended avatar’-- a hivemind addition on the same level as its own primary avatar, capable of employing the full extent of its power. Then, with the promise of fulfilling his wish to destroy the Master Crown, sent him back out to Pop Star.

Fortunately for the MC, this ‘upgrade’ actually made Marx a more manageable adversary, streamlining his manic, unpredictable fighting style into something much easier to counter. Although it had to rebuild its body several times during the encounter, eventually it won, finally sinking its roots into Marx’s mind.

To its surprise, what it found inside was not a writhing dimension of turbulent emotion ripe for the taking, but instead a quiet, neatly-organized library, with discrete bits of memory sorted into a vast file system. It was then that it realized how Star Dream’s mechanization process worked…and that it had gone through all those eons of battle for nothing. There was nothing left in Marx’s mind that interested it, so instead it decided to simply destroy the contents, keeping his catatonic body as a consolation prize.

Unbeknownst to the Master Crown, Marx’s body is still capable of surveillance, sending Star Dream information on the MC’s private confessions, doubts and fears. Star Dream never really intended for Marx to win the battle, instead hoping to grant his wish indirectly by using his remains to gather information, which would eventually contribute to the MC’s downfall by convincing it to be mechanized.

[queerfemmetrashpanda]

Your World Is Burning. Here's What You Can Actually Do About It

Everything hurts right now.

You open your phone. War. Collapse. Crisis. Corruption. Some days, it feels like watching the world burn down to ash in real-time.

The weight of powerlessness settles in.

The crush of too much information, too little agency.

The vertigo of trying to find solid ground in shifting sand.

But powerlessness is a lie we tell ourselves.

Your circle of control exists. It’s real. Not as a motivational concept or a bullshit management framework but as the basic building block of action.

You control more than you think:

How you spend the next hour

Where you direct your energy

The problems you choose to solve

Who you help

What you build

When you act

Why you move

+

Notice what’s missing from that list: Other people. Markets. Systems. Politics. The vast machinery of the world that occupies so much mental space.

This isn’t about retreating from those realities. It’s about recognizing where real leverage exists.

The truth is brutal but liberating: The only way to deal with a world on fire is to focus on putting out the flames you can actually reach.

Not because it’s all you deserve. Not because it’s all you’re capable of. But because it’s where real impact happens while everyone else is paralyzed by the spectacle of collapse.

You can doomscroll, or you can create.

You can rant, or you can build.

You can theorize, or you can act.

You can wish, or you can work.

The world is burning whether you watch it, read about it, spiral over it - or not.

But in your circle of control, you can build something that matters.

Something real.

Something that helps.

+

Real power lives in the granular. It’s in the newsletter you publish about local issues nobody else covers. It’s in the mutual aid network you start with three neighbors that grows to thirty.

It’s in the skill-sharing workshops you organize in your garage. It’s in the community garden you plant in the abandoned lot. It’s in the tech support hours you offer seniors at the local library.

It’s in the tools and knowledge you share without waiting for permission or platforms. Small actions, multiplied by consistency, backed by a commitment to a specific place and specific people.

It’s in your circle of control.

Start there.

The rest is noise.

(Joan Westenberg)

[guppybibi]

Not much of a Romancer..

𖦹 pairing: Necromancer!Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x ghost!fem!reader

𖦹 word count: 1543

𖦹 content: Dead Johnny (shockers), most likely inaccurate information, maybe ooc, mild cursing, i feel like this will be a rushed slowburn

𖦹 notes: the definitions are from google lmao, idk how necromancy works but..how do u do dialogue what.

Necromancy, the practice of magic involving communication with the dead by summoning their spirits, a certain act that Simon wasn't familiar with. Yet, at least. He’s been browsing through local libraries whenever he isn't deployed, researching on this topic. It never really piqued his interest to begin with, you know? Well, not until Johnny brought it up once. It stuck with him since.

“Aye whin ah die L.T., mak' sure tae git an ouija boord or learn necromancy sae we kin still talk.” He joked, already tipsy from the amount of alcohol in his system. Simon knew he was kidding, the man was bloody drunk after all. The idea didn't seem..horrible though. Would it really work? Could he still talk with Johnny or the other undead by simply using a haunted board or using witchcraft?

Now that Johnny really was gone, it wouldn't hurt to try it out, right? Simon chose to use the Ouija board first as it looked easier than to learn literal black magic. And did it work? It definitely did! Except he wasn't talking to Johnny’s spirit, instead he was talking to a fucking demon. That could also be the late Sergeant messing with him but he wasn't taking any chances of being possessed by an actual demon, he had enough demons he was fighting internally, he didn't need any more. So he turned to the last option in his book which was learning necromancy, which certainly wasn't easier.

First, he went and browsed the endless world wide web, finding tips and tricks of what you're supposed to do or not do. It was quite useful, being able to learn in the comfort of his own house was convenient. One of the few downsides of researching on the net is the fact that the internet was a cobweb of all sorts of false information, just waiting for the users to fall right into their sticky trap. Simon wasn't one of them though, he wasn't one to trust that easily, especially strangers. So he went to the public library, a place he hasn't been to in years.

It felt like he was out of place to say the least, every heavy step he took made the aged floorboards creak, earning the librarian’s stern glare every time while he nodded his head to silently apologize. So far, the most important thing he learned to keep in mind in necromancy is respect. After all, it was the undead he was disturbing. To never forget to say things like “please” and “thank you” deemed easy enough. Sure he was a cold-hearted man, a lot of people were skeptical if he even had one in him, but he wasn't a disrespectful man. So he kept these things in mind, they were easy enough to do anyway.

So, after months of researching he finally decided to start his very first ritual. He got some chalk, some white candles to repel any negative spirit, he would've chosen to use tea candles but that wasn't the better option. Get it? Because Brits like tea? Well there were a bunch of different methods he could've used, but he chose this so it better work. He was taking this chance, the chance to speak to Johnny again, to properly say goodbye.

At last, it was time. It was the dead of night, Simon decided to perform the ritual in an abandoned building. He managed to accurately set everything up, proving that the months of studying necromancy was worth it. Then, he started the long awaited ritual. It started out smoothly, with him reciting chants and doing whatever was required for him to do. He was anticipating to hear an annoying Scottish accent to come out soon, but instead he heard..a high pitched voice? From what he could tell, it was no doubt a woman. Shit, did he just summon the spirit of an unknown dead woman? Well he had to deal with this, he can only hope it wasn't a hostile spirit. It’s his responsibility now, he can't just shove your soul back into the afterlife.

“I was having a really good rest, ya know..” The spirit starts. “Until a certain someone here decided to ruin it.” She glares at the masked man in front of her, making Simon feel like he was being pierced by sharp needles. “Sorry, that wasn't my intention.” He states the truth, sighing when he realizes his first attempt at speaking to Johnny failed. He should clean up and get going before he pisses you off even more. So he does just that, cleaning up after himself and packing up. “Hey hey, stop right there big guy.” She calls out, disappearing from where she was and reappearing right in front of him.

“You bothered my peaceful slumber, now I’m bothering you!” She announces proudly as if she had just said the best idea for vengeance. Okay, maybe it was because Simon’s ears were already starting to ring from your voice. “Sure, go follow me or whatever.” He said with an indifferent tone, he’s been through the worst things. Things that also caused his ear to ring and rupture, so he could surely handle this. From what he could tell, you seemed like you just wanted to provoke him. That's fine, at least you meant no harm. Physically at least.

And so, you did indeed follow him. No matter the occasion, rainy or sunny, you’d be right there beside him like a pesky shadow. Unless he went to the bathroom, that's where you’d finally cross the line. You still waited for him out the door like a clingy dog though. That was when he was not deployed though, you weren't exactly aware of him being a lieutenant..Sure his room seemed very soldier-like and had remnants of proof all over but he could've been just a military enthusiast or something!

Now here he was, packing all of the essentials as he prepares for deployment while you watch him intently. “Seriously? 3-in-1 shampoo? It's not even scented!” She bitches, concerned about his hygiene routine. “It's efficient and convenient.” He answers dryly, continuing to shove all of the necessities in his bags. “Where are you going anyways? Vacation?” To which he scoffs at, do you really think he's bringing a pistol to a vacation? “Did the afterlife take all of your wits too? I’m getting deployed.”

“..Deployed?” She questions. “I’m in the army.” And with that, her eyes are as wide as saucers. “Excuse me, no wait–excuse you? And you never bothered mentioning it to me once!” Then he cuts you off. “You never bothered to tell me your name. I think we're in pretty similar situations.” Her mouth is instantly zipped, he did have a point. “Oh right..well it isn't too late to get to know each other, big guy.”

“Stop calling me ‘big guy’.” “Then tell me your name. Look, I’ll even start. My name is Y/N, nice to meet you.” She starts, holding out her hand as she expects a handshake from him. Because that's how proper formal introductions start! “Ghost.” He replies blankly, getting a raised eyebrow from you. “That's it?” She sulks. “Just an alias, that's enough.”

‘What a killjoy’ she thinks, why couldn't someone more interesting make her come to life! Like maybe a group of rebellious teens or anyone but like this ‘Ghost’ guy! “Well then ‘Ghost’, let's get to know each other!” She insists. “I won't be talking to you when I’m deployed, don't want the soldiers thinking I’m a madman.” She whines, how much did she sin during her lifetime to deserve such dull torture? Before she could even open her mouth to complain, he spoke up. “If you dislike haunting me then just leave.” “I can't.” She tells, and Simon has never seen you this quiet before.

“I bet I owe you some kind of explanation huh? Looks like you didn't research enough on this necromancing disturbing the dead shit.” He nodded, admitting his mistake. “Whoever awakes the undead is the only one who can put them to rest again, you have to perform another ritual for it. So if I don't stop following you, I could possibly lose you and permanently wander as a ghost forever. I don't want that, none of the undead does.” She explained, the words are hard to get out of her. While the masked man nodded in understanding, that's why she acted like she was glued to him like honey. He thought about it, it did seem pretty shitty. You can only do so much, going around as a ghost doesn't seem like the funnest thing in the world.

“I see. Just..stick by me or whatever.” There's something in him that doesn't wanna get rid of her just yet, maybe it's his conscience? Yeah, that was for sure it. It would feel like he was purposely putting someone back in their grave, the soil being used to bury them a little too familiar to other experiences. The woman blinks a few times, burning straight through his soul as she stares at him before nodding. Looks like he was in no rush to get rid of her, that's nice. She’ll stay by his side the whole time, whether he likes it or not.

[misscammiedawn]

Gender, Dissociation and Clinical Stigma - The Third Person

Before I begin I just want to note that typically Media, Myself and I entries are aimed at depictions of dissociative disorders in popular fiction. Today's entry is a graphic novel memoir by a transgender woman with dissociative identity disorder. As it's both not in the public zeitgeist and good representation by virtue of being lived experience of someone who struggled within the mental healthcare system I want to recommend people buy the book (or check it out of their local library). I fully support the artist and want to prop up something good and beautiful.

With that said, let's begin...

CW: therapy abuse

With all the recent hysteria in the US and UK media over transgender healthcare it can be easy to forget the hurdles we all have to climb to receive care. Though Informed Consent is becoming more of a standard practice these days the DSM-5 Criteria for Gender Dysphoria indicates a 6 month requirement for observation before HRT can be prescribed. Many of us needed to jump the hoops of living 6-12 months "in the gender role that is congruent with their gender identity" before we were allowed to begin our gender journey in earnest.

Of course. This requires a clinician (or two for surgical options) to observe this, monitor it and sign off on it. But therapists are humans and are full of prejudice, bias and their own beliefs. They aren't guaranteed to think it is medically necessary or positive for a person seeking gender affirming care to receive it.

So where does DID fit into this picture?

A study, published in 2015, states clearly that 30% of transgender individuals met the criteria for a dissociative disorder.

Yet even still, The World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH), the gold standard for transgender care included this warning in their Standards of Care up until September 2022.

(source)

Fortunately that passage is no longer included in WPATH guidelines as of the 8th revision released in 2022. I shall say the above passage did grant a scare for us, though, as it was very much the practice when we were going for our surgery.

Standards of Care improve and medical understandings of both gender and dissociative care are becoming kinder towards clients.

Even still. There's always that fear. That months of therapy could be wasted on a clinician who was never going to sign off on HRT and was never going to believe our lived experience as a system.

We wouldn't have gotten nearly half as far as we have gotten without our therapist helping us identify our condition, manage our symptoms and develop cooperation and communication.

It's terrifying to think what life would be like if our symptoms not only went unmanaged, but we were made to feel fake and attention seeking by the very person we paid to take care of us...

-

With that intro in mind, The Third Person by Emma Grove is a memoir told in graphic novel format over 920 pages covering the period of life where she began therapy in hopes of receiving feminizing HRT not realizing she had an undiagnosed case of dissociative identity disorder.

When one opens the book they will see an Author's Note declaring that every word in the book is as accurate as Emma's memory will allow and any edits are to streamline the story, not to tailor anything to match the author's point of view and there is a dedication:

"For Katina - We finally did one together"

The story proper begins in media res Winter 2004, as Emma asks her therapist if he would like to hear about the book she was reading and the therapist responds asking why the client decided to speak with him "as Emma" today. Emma, confused, does not understand the question and is probed about her parts, about Ed and Katina and about her childhood. That last word being enough to cause Emma to freeze up, dissociate and...

This simple intro gives us all the context a reader needs to understand the antagonistic dynamic between Toby, the therapist, and his patient(s). Both client and patient are unable to understand the other and harbor suspicions about the other's intentions.

Without the context we only know Emma had a book, she no longer has a book and she suspects her therapist of being a mean person who is playing tricks on her.

We will get context later.

The first chapter of the book provides an introduction to the author's late teens and early 20s where they explore their gender identity and have their first experiences with their masked dissociative disorder.

The book goes to lengths to show the stress of the author dividing themselves between having to present male in their public life and sneaking out to bars where they can wear make-up, wigs and outfits to present female.

They take on their legal name, Ed, during their public life and when going out to clubs take the name Katina, from the first bar they visited presenting femme. The name Emma comes later when the system is working to transition into living as a woman in all aspects of their shared life.

The book patiently explores the stress of having to divide ones own self for their safety in spaces where they cannot present their truth without threat from an intolerant society. If 30% of transgender people suffer from dissociative disorders then a much higher number of them know the stress of having to compartmentalize themselves into different presentations for different audiences.

For us, we know that pain all too well. Our birth identity remains with us as a member of our own system. Less a ghost of our past and more a remnant of a mask we constructed to perform the version of self required for our safety.

The artwork does a good job of displaying switches and co-consciousness with subtle expression work, the hair style/wigs that each alter favors. For example we have the left displaying co-consciousness and a switch.

As the years go on, Katina finds ways to go out to the club and exist in her comfort and Ed labors hard to ensure that they can live for the times they get to "become" themselves.

Katina is established to be a fierce personality who will get aggressive when people push against her. She loves to dance and sing and party at the club. She is both a free spirit without inhibition and a fierce protector who will keep the system safe.

I recall feeling a deep fondness and connection towards Katina when we first read the book.

Once the narrative has firmly established the history that lead to the system seeking HRT we are brought into the meat of the book. A white void with a sofa and an armchair. The therapist's office where Katina, Emma and Ed speak with Toby.

Toby is a trans man that Katina believes to be an ally who will sign off on their HRT once the prerequisite 3 month waiting period is over. Unfortunately over the course of those months Toby becomes aware of Emma and Katina's switches and is convinced that it would be unethical for him to sign off on HRT when it is possible that there may be another 'guy part' in there who will 'wake up' one day and decide that he did not want to transition.

To his credit, once Toby suspects a dissociative disorder he does offer Emma a referral to a specialist. They do not take it as they just want to be signed off for HRT and have no interest in exploring their situation beyond transitioning. So they stick with Toby, convinced that another transgender individual will support them.

Toby, however, sticks to his guns and refuses to agree until they manage the DID.

In the opening, sampled above, Emma switches out at the mere mention of her childhood. Here we find that Katina will front any time Emma is made to think about her past and she refuses to allow Toby to force her to think about it or discuss it. She goes as far as to demand Toby promise not to push which, again, Toby refuses.

During this conflict both sides have exaggerated gestures of frustration, many exclamation points and underlined words. This is not a healthy dialogue at all. Toby is refusing to find middle ground or guide the therapy towards its intended destination. He denies all Katina's attempts to negotiate around the need to talk about her childhood (something she is convinced at this point has nothing to do with her stated goal of HRT) and continuously pushes that she needs to talk about it, without elaborating as to why.

Toby, untrained in dissociative disorders, is focused on getting her to open up about her childhood trauma. Katina, uninterested in exploring trauma, wants to be signed off for HRT. Neither side is willing to budge.

This isn't therapy. This is an argument.

Recently I wrote a Tumblr post about the "Hair Dryer Incident"

The Hair Dryer Incident is a story about a patient with OCD whose life was being massively disrupted by the fear that they had left their hair dryer plugged in at home and it would burn their house down. The clinician advised them to take the hair dryer to work with them every day so that they could see the hair dryer with them and not have to drive home to ensure it was safely unplugged.

There was debate in medical circles about whether this was "enabling" because it did nothing to treat the illness, only managed the life disrupting symptom of needing to drive home to check that the dryer was not plugged in.

For Toby in this scenario he believes that allowing Emma to transition would be "enabling" the sickness that he perceives, that being dissociative identity disorder. He has brought his own baggage into the office and only views Emma and Katina as parts of Ed. No amount of Emma and Katina self-advocating in his eyes will change his mind because they are not "real" in his view.

Of course, he is not fully sold on Emma's condition being real either. There is a sequence in which Emma is left alone in the room and she, having a fascination with books, checks out Toby's bookshelf. This causes Toby to become suspicious and decide that Emma has been reading the medical textbooks on dissociative disorders in order to fake an illness and trick him.

This is not a healthy therapeutic alliance and Toby is breaking all 3 key pillars of establishing a strong patient/client partnership.

Much of modern therapy techniques are based on the concept of Therapeutic Alliance. The history of which dates back to Sigmund Freud and the concept of transference but was refined and redefined by Carl Rogers in the modern Patient Centered Therapy (sometimes referred to as Rogerian Therapy).

With that in mind let's examine the 3 key elements of successful PCT(*) and how Toby failed.

Lead with a Patient Centered Approach This means to check all baggage at the door. Cultural biases have no room inside the clinic (during the book Toby openly mocks Emma's faith in God) and that the patient's priorities are the ones that should be focused on. Both client and clinician should be on the same page of what treatment is being sought, what goals are and how they will be achieved. Toby and Emma (or Katina and Ed) never establish this agreement during their time together. Katina/Emma/Ed are firm in their desire to transition and Toby is firm on his refusal to allow this until the DID is addressed.

Set clear goals with a treatment plan. A good treatment plan will have dates, targets and regular review and reward honesty for both/all parties involved in the alliance. Toby is telling Emma and Katina that they need to open up about their childhood but does not explain how this will benefit or what their goals are. Simply "it's good to talk about it" with no direction or assurances.

Regularly review satisfaction with the therapeutic process, relationship, and treatment plan. This element states that it is important that the clinician be upfront with any potential misdiagnosis and discuss any skepticism in the process and lead from a position of patient satisfaction. I do not need to highlight how Toby failed to lead from a position of patient satisfaction here.

Clearly Toby has a personal concept of what the correct approach is and is holding Emma/Katina's gender affirming care hostage until they can satisfy his unspoken objectives. Correctly applied PCT should be a discussion of mutual agreement and achievable goals worked over a period of time. Toby is not applying these principals at all. His modality simply seems to be "talk about it." I'll be an ethical writer who discloses their biases and say I despise PCT/Rogerian therapy. It is, however, the leading modality within western therapy and it is well researched. Not to mention it is the modality Toby appears to be utilizing in the book. I firmly disagree with Freud on all things (except the concept of infant experiences have lifelong ramifications. A broken clock is right twice a day) and disagree with Rogers on the idea that the client has all of the answers and needs to get out of their own way. An issue with this is that DID is a covert disorder and it will do everything it can to stay hidden. PCT does not offer an environment where patients will be able to navigate their condition as unless they are aware of their symptoms, how and when they manifest and are open to discussing those facts they will naturally steer away from circumstances that would lead to a diagnosis. Most people, including myself, have to exist in the mental healthcare system for 5-12 years before being correctly diagnosed with DID(*) and will experience a number of incorrect diagnoses before finding appropriate care. For us it was 9 years and 7 diagnoses. So. Toby's directive is that the system needs to get to the root of the condition and neither Katina nor Emma are willing to open up about their childhood. Katina continues sticking to her guns and refuses but Emma, desperate to start her medical transition, agrees to open up and the two form a shaky alliance where week by week the pair go back and forth between alliance and conflict. In time Emma describes her childhood being raised by her grandfather who was physically abusive towards her. All too quickly Katina's fears are justified by Toby's combative approach to patient care. One session Emma demands to know why she cannot work on her DID while she transitions and Toby states firmly that she is "not transsexual" which triggers Emma to dissociate into a black void that no one can reach her within. She wanted to be seen and regarded as a woman and a trans man told her flat out that he cannot and does not see her as such. Going back to the hair dryer incident as a reference for a moment. Ed is a member of the system and does show up for therapy on some days. At a point Katina, fed up with being denied treatment, makes a plan to quit their job and start a new life living as a woman 24/7. Ed creates a safety net to prevent this from ruining their collective life and continues to work in the meanwhile. Ed's role in the system has been ground down to working and working alone. He spends his days keeping so busy that he cannot dwell, a panel having the thought bubble "I can't slow down! If I slow down I have to think!" which is depressingly relatable to how we were in the worst years of repressing our gender identity. If Ed is unhappy living as a closeted man who has to occupy himself 24/7 to stop from caving in on himself, if Emma and Katina are both completely stunted by their inability to transition; is it ethical to allow them to transition and to work on their condition while allowing them the freedom to live openly as their chosen gender and prevent a circumstance that is harming the entire system? Toby seems to think it is enabling.

30% of the transgender individuals in the study above were observed to meet the criteria for a dissociative disorder. Living a life where one must mask has severe detrimental impacts on a person's psychology. This is true not just for transgender individuals but for those with autism (*) and other individuals on the LGBT spectrum (*) where the cognitive dissonance between who a person values themselves to be versus how they must present to the world causes the mind to dissociate further and allow contrary thinking to exist in individual pockets of a person's life as well as creates an alienation of the self. Healing under these circumstances requires accepting and embracing oneself, not creating a further divide.

After Toby "caught" Emma looking at the bookshelf he became convinced that she was faking her condition. That she had been plucking symptoms from a book and performing them for him. That she fit the criteria "too well"

Emma rightfully demands to know why she would complicate her receiving HRT by doing something that prevents her being able to. The pair bicker and Toby cuts off the session abruptly.

in the heat of the moment, assuming that Emma was an attention seeker who does not deserve care, Toby declares "Your grandfather was right to hit you."

Even Emma later admits later that therapy should have ended with Toby right there and then. Hindsight is 20/20, as they say. Alas, a mixture of finances and sunk cost keep Emma returning to the chair week after week.

Being trans and having DID are terrifying. In order to receive care and treatment we must insist to a world that what is happening in our hearts and minds is true in spite of all that the world outside tells us is true. We need to not only reach that conclusion within our own lives but must express that truth loud enough that the people around us see it, regard it and accept it.

As so many things in this world are, it's so hard to earn and so easily burned.

"You're faking it for attention" is such an easy sentence to fling at someone and in a therapeutic setting all things should lead to curiosity. Even if a person were faking, it's not normal and healthy behavior for someone to do that. Toby is displaying a complete lack of curiosity and compassion. He is framing himself as the victim in a potential deception from someone who is paying what little money they can put together to receive his care.

I hate Toby.

As the story continues, Emma and her system begrudgingly continue, flitting back and forth between a healthy and unhealthy dynamic with their therapist that shares a lot of similarities to abuse honeymoons. It is worth noting that as the book is a memior it will inevitably be painted with the author's personal view of past events because, as discussed in the Umineko article on recontextualized memories, a human mind cannot avoid applying present understandings to past experiences when recalling memory. This is seen in the book when we see things that Emma cannot possibly have witnessed, such as Toby's facial expression after she leaves the office.

This is not to throw shade at how Emma depicts her former therapist, as he was quite horrid to all 3 of them and quite obviously did more harm than good during their time together. I just wish to note that skewed perspectives are an inevitability. Even still. They do make some progress in talking about the situations. We come to learn of the system origins and how Katina was a friend to the young and lonely child they used to be and that their abusive childhood was centered around physical abuse from their grandfather. While discussing this Emma notes that she could make Katina go away forever with a single phrase. A few short words that she can never ever say and mean or Katina would go away and never come back... and I think that's where I'll stop with the synopsis. I (specifically me, Dawn) broke down in tears the first time I read the book and I have no will to put myself through that again at this exact moment and I wish for you all to have the catharsis of experiencing it for yourself.

I will say in way of positivity that the story is quick to make its conclusions in the final chapters by displaying therapy done right and the fact that even if parts can no longer be heard or even felt, they will always endure in moments where they can add a little color to the world.

They got to write this book together, after all.

For all the sadness this memoir elicits it speaks an honest and hard truth of the desperation, isolation and confusion that can be found in managing sentiments of identity and gender in a time when there was so little understanding and acceptance, particularly for transgender people.

We are lucky these days to have the internet as it is where we can create community and find our people and in finding our people have a better understanding of who we are and how we can live our truths. Visibility of transgender and plural populations has been increasing in part due to the fact we are able to feel unalone and forge community.

2004 did not have those luxuries and I am saddened that Emma Grove had to live through that stigma and lost so much time to unethical and prejudice care from a clinician.

I do hope that in the future we can continue accepting and encouraging one another and living lives where we are not forced to hide, mask or pretend.

-

For other Media, Myself and I articles, please check out the following:

[queenjunothegreat]

Aaaaaaaalllrighty everyone!!!!!! It's TIME!!!!!!! Let's fucking gooooooo!!!!!!! I am sososososososo excited to share @lost-trio-week with you all!!!! It's going to be SO much fun and I am thrilled beyond words! People's wonderful creations are already rolling in and I love each and every one of them SO much!!! YAYAYAYAYYAYAY!!!!

So, without any more delay, I'd like to present my day one fic: We Are Not Shining Stars (We Are Who We Are)

(CW: Implied/Referenced Child Abuse)

"Now, I’m gonna find your file. Seeing as someone won’t even tell me when his birthday is, I at least want that much. Assuming you didn’t delete it already, that is.” Eventually, Piper found his file and started her deep-dive, obviously disappointed at the barren field of information before her. She started reading off things about Leo that he obviously already knew (apparently, his birthday made him a Cancer. He didn’t know what that meant, really, but it was bitingly ironic) while Leo gasped in mock shock over her revelations and tinkered with a little wind-up toy. Then Piper got quiet for a moment, and giggled out her little mischievous giggle, which immediately put Leo on high alert. He squinted at her suspiciously. “What’d you find?” “Something weird,” she reported, still giggling. “They have the wrong name down for you on one of these documents.” He rolled his eyes, and looked back at his project, expecting her to come up with some dumb little nickname that would stick for about a week before they both got bored of it. “Yeah? And what name do they have?” “Emilio.” *** Piper learns a secret she was never meant to know. Lost Trio Week 2024 - Day One: Wilderness/Nicknames

Part 2 of Carry On (Wilderness School Fics)

To say that Dylan was a pain was more than a little bit of an understatement. You’d think that being in a school as big as Wilderness would have meant that you wouldn’t really cross paths with any one particular person too often, but Dylan somehow managed to surpass all expectations. He wasn’t actually in too many of Piper and Leo’s classes, but he found a way to bump into them in the halls almost every period, and he certainly made an effort to be as awful as possible in the little time he had with them.

His worst offense, by far, was the history class he shared with the both of them. Piper and Leo sat next to one another, like they did in every class they shared, and Dylan had made himself right at home in the desk directly behind them.  Considering his penchant for running his mouth, especially about Piper, and the teacher’s disinterest in stopping him, especially when it was about Piper, it was clear that Piper and Leo would have to take matters into their own hands. Leo had originally suggested tricking the teacher into abandoning him next time they went on a field trip, but Piper had given him one of those looks and he’d begrudgingly agreed to a solution that didn’t involve bodily harm. Again. 

The solution had come one afternoon when they were hanging out in the library and Leo had poked around for a bit on one of the computers he definitely wasn’t allowed on, then asked Piper if she had any grades she wanted him to change for her.

She squinted at him, then at his computer screen. “Wait, are you hacked into the school’s computer system? How’d you do that? Don’t you need to use, like, a super computer or something?”

Leo decided that going over all of her incorrect ideas about what “hacking” meant was probably a waste of time, so he just shrugged. “Just the grade books. The actual interesting stuff like personal records and junk is only really accessible on an admin computer. I mean, I could get to it from here, but it would require a lot of work.”

She arched her eyebrows at him. “And how, exactly, do you know that?” Instead of answering, he just winked and tapped the side of his nose, so she rolled her eyes. “Fine, whatever. Don’t tell me.”

“Wasn’t planning on it!” he chirped back at her.

After a moment, she gave him a curious look. “Can you change schedules from what you have there?”

Leo shook his head. “Nah, that’s all gonna be on that main system. This one is specifically easy to get into because the teachers need to be able to access it from home. There’s no need for them to access schedules and stuff, so that’s gonna be more secure.”

“Do you–” She cut herself off and thought for a moment while she sucked her teeth. “Do you think we could use that to get rid of Dylan?”

“What? You mean like mobster ‘Ay, let’s get ridda this guy’ or–”

“No, I just mean, like… changing his schedule? Just swap his math and history so we don’t have to deal with him any more.”

Leo hummed in thought. “What about P.E.? You wanna swap him out of that class, too?”

Piper weighed her options very carefully before shaking her head. “Nah. If it’s just the one class, that could be, like, a system error or something. If we go around changing a bunch of his classes, people might look into it. Besides, I think Coach Hedge hates Dylan, so we don’t really have to deal with him, so long as he’s around.”

Leo nodded in agreement. Hedge claimed that it was just because Dylan was on the track team and he needed to be in top form, but any time Dylan even tried to talk to Piper and Leo during PE, Hedge popped up out of thin air, blowing on his whistle until he was purple, and ordering Dylan to run another two laps. “Alright. Well, we’re gonna have to break into the headmaster’s office. I might be able to do it if we can only get access to the front desk, but it will be harder.”

“Wanna do it Thursday?” Piper suggested. “Mr. Thomas is supposed to be on hall monitor duty that night.”

Leo agreed, and together they started plotting. Leo was once again struck dumb by the breathtaking lack of security at this particular correctional facility. Sure, they had some of the harshest, meanest punishments they could get away with before someone (rightfully) accused them of child abuse, but they apparently had little to no interest in trying to stop anyone from breaking the rules. There weren’t even proper security guards, though most of the teachers were armed with school-supplied hand tasers. Instead, the night watch was taken on by a series of teachers all taking their turns to roam the halls until the sun rose up over the far distant horizon. Mr. Thomas was a wry, skittish sort of man that really had no business surviving in a place like this, but still managed to have the longest tenure of almost any of the staff. Still, he struggled to stay awake during his own lessons, dry-erase marker hanging limply in one hand and coffee cup clutched desperately in the other, so it was no surprise to anyone that he often “rested his eyes” when it was his turn to patrol the halls. Students weren’t supposed to know the rotation schedule, but, well. Piper certainly had her ways.

That Thursday night, Leo picked the lock on their dorm room door, and they silently crept through the many empty halls of Wilderness School, all the way down to the first floor where the headmaster’s office was. Breaking into those rooms had been even easier than breaking out of their dorm, so before too long Leo was sat in front of Dylan’s daily schedule, and with a few clicks Dylan’s 10:00 math class was swapped with his 2:00 history class, and emails were sent out to both teachers and student alerting them of the “sudden but necessary” change. 

“You said this has everyone’s personal records on it, right?” Piper asked, peering over his shoulder once he was done. He nodded and she grinned at him. “Cool. I wanna check yours out. I’m gonna find out what you’re hiding, Valdez.”

Leo scoffed loudly and rolled away, giving her free reign. “Be my guest. You’re not gonna find anything interesting.”

She raised her eyebrows at him. “You ran away six times, and you think there’s nothing interesting in your file?”

“I didn’t say that,” he corrected, grinning like a shark. “I just said you wouldn’t find it.”

She laughed at him, the sound bright and loud in the cramped office. “Whatever. Get out of my way; I wanna do some snooping.”

Leo got up and offered the chair to her, bowing obnoxiously. “Your throne, my lady.”

“Why thank you, my good sir,” she replied, equally obnoxious, as she took her seat. “Now, I’m gonna find your file. Seeing as someone won’t even tell me when his birthday is, I at least want that much. Assuming you didn’t delete it already, that is.”

Leo shrugged. He hadn’t gotten rid of stuff like his birthday and social security number from his file, but he didn’t really think that mattered all that much. He got rid of the important things, like why he’d gone into the foster system to begin with, or why he’d been removed from some of those awful places before he even had the chance to run away. Anything that mattered. Anything that tied him back to that little house in Texas and the choking smoke of a burning warehouse. He was past all that now. Keep moving forward, a gnarled old lady’s voice said in the back of his mind. Be quick and be clever, but always keep moving. He figured the past couldn’t catch him if he never let it exist in the first place. 

Eventually, Piper found his file and started her deep-dive, obviously disappointed at the barren field of information before her. She started reading off things about Leo that he obviously already knew (apparently, his birthday made him a Cancer. He didn’t know what that meant, really, but it was bitingly ironic) while Leo gasped in mock shock over her revelations and tinkered with a little wind-up toy he’d been working on. 

Then Piper got quiet for a moment, and giggled out her little mischievous giggle, which immediately put Leo on high alert. He squinted at her suspiciously. “Pipes? What’d you find?”

“Something weird,” she reported, still giggling. “They have the wrong name down for you on one of these documents.”

He rolled his eyes, and looked back at his project, expecting her to come up with some dumb little nickname that would stick for about a week before they both got bored of it. “Yeah? And what name do they have?”

“Emilio.”

 Immediately, the world stood still. He was four years old and that name was being sung to him while he clapped his hands in front of a fire truck birthday cake. He was five years old, laughing hysterically as he ran away from the mess he’d made and the sound of that name shouted after him on its own laugh. He was six years old and he was being told that all the teachers and kids at school were going to call him Leo, but he would always know what name was on his heart. He was seven years old and that name was sitting warm on his shoulders as stories about what an amazing life he would get to live were told to him in hushed whispers. He was eight years old and that name was being tapped out in Morse Code as his mamá told him how much she loved him for the very last time. 

“Don’t say that name,” he snapped. “Don’t ever say that name in front of me again, do you understand?”

Piper reared back, clearly startled. Her gaze flicked over Leo’s face, but he just continued to scowl death at her. He’d had this fight before, and he’d won it every time. He wasn’t afraid to have it again, even if he didn’t want to. She narrowed her eyes at him and very obviously sucked her teeth, preparing her interrogation.

Then she shrugged, turned back to the computer, and continued casually clicking around. “Okay. Hey, did you know that Macy’s middle name is Lucille? It’s like her parents wanted her to cause problems.”

Leo felt a bit like he’d been kicked in the chest by a horse, and if he hadn't been sitting down, he probably would have fallen on his butt. “What?”

“Yeah,” she said casually. “I mean, Lucille is a fine enough name, I guess, but it’s a really shitty middle name. Especially combined with Macy. Macy Lucille Milton. Bleh.”

“You’re just saying that because you hate her,” Leo said automatically. He shook his head. “I don’t mean that. I went all Incredible Hulk on you because you said some random name and your response is ‘okay?’”

She furrowed her brow at him. “Do you… want me to get all bent out of shape about it?”

“Uh, no. I guess not,” Leo stammered. “I just… was expecting you to?”

Piper shrugged. “We all have our secrets.” She offered him one of those grins he knew so well and a handshake. “You don’t quiz me about my relationship with my mom, and I pretend that the school didn’t mess up your file. Deal?”

“I– Yeah, deal,” Leo agreed, shaking her hand. He still felt a bit like he’d been spun around one too many times, and he could feel the adrenaline coursing through his veins from where he’d been geared up for a fight. 

She gave him a real smile then, all the playfulness gone and replaced with gentle, cautious affection. “Cool. Now show me how to send emails to the teachers from this account. I’ve got an idea.”

Leo’s eyebrows shot up and a grin curled over his mouth. “Oh? Do tell.”

“Not until you show me how to get to the email.”

They stayed in the office for probably longer than was advisable, only cutting the mission of mischief short when Mr. Thomas shuffled by, apparently having napped for long enough. They crept back to their dorm, and when they were back safely behind their locked door, they broke out into giggles, beyond pleased with themselves. 

“Ugh, I’m so gonna sleep through English tomorrow,” Piper whined, flinging herself on the bed. 

“You say that like you wouldn’t have slept through it after a full night’s sleep,” Leo accused, picking one of her socks up off the floor and throwing it at her. Piper let out some comically loud snores to avoid answering him, and he rolled his eyes, climbing into his own bed. 

Unbidden, the name came to the front of his mind. Piper hadn’t said it right. She’d pronounced it fine, but it still sounded wrong in her mouth. Her accent rounded out weird parts, and her tone had that nasally Valley Girl kick to it. That name was supposed to be said with a warm, rich voice. It was supposed to sound like laughter and feel like being wrapped up in a hug. It wasn’t supposed to be a slap in the face. 

He still felt a little bad about snapping at Piper, though. She didn’t know, couldn’t know. She’d been joking around one second, only for Leo to flip a switch on her out of nowhere. He could perfectly picture the way she’d stared at him in wide-eyed shock, and how her features had been tinged with the slightest bit of hurt. He wouldn’t have been able to really fault her if she’d been angry with him, demanding answers, but she hadn’t. She just shrugged and accepted it, more than happy to meet Leo where he was at.  She always did that. It didn’t matter how much Leo snarled at her or how bristly and defensive he got, she always stepped back and opened her arms, ready to give Leo the space he needed to go running back to her when he was ready. He curled up in a little ball and pressed his forehead to his knees. “Piper?”

“Yeah, Leo?” she replied immediately, every ounce of the exhaustion she’d been complaining about moments before gone. 

He pressed closer to his knees. “I’m sorry I yelled at you.”

There was a beat of silence, and then he felt Piper crawl into the bed next to him and press up against his side. “You don’t have to apologize. I get it.”

“No you don’t. There’s literally no way for you to get it.”

“Okay, I don’t get it,” she conceded. “Not really. But I get that it upset you, and I get that you don’t wanna talk about why. And that’s all I really need to get, I think.”

Leo chewed his bottom lip until he thought it would bleed. “Leo’s a nickname my mom gave me to tell the teachers and kids at school instead of using my real name.”

“Yeah?” Piper prompted gently. “Do you like it?”

Leo shrugged. “It’s not bad. It never felt quite right though.”

“Then how come you use it?” Leo squeezed his eyes shut and took in a deep, heaving breath, and Piper started gently stroking his back. “You don’t have to tell me, if you don’t want to.”

He knew he didn’t have to. Piper wouldn’t push. She never pushed. Which is exactly why she was the one person on the planet he wanted to tell everything to.

“My mom was the last person who used my real name,” he said quietly. “Everyone else called me Leo, but she used my full name every time.”

Piper hummed softly, and he could hear the gentle smile in her voice when she said, “That sounds nice.”

“Yeah. I’m–” He cut himself off with a little choking noise, and Piper pressed that much closer. “I’m scared I’m gonna forget what it sounded like coming from her if other people use it.”

“Leo,” Piper breathed before finally wrapping him up in a hug. He clung to her, fists clenched in the back of her dumb Hello Kitty shirt. He didn’t cry, not really, but he did tremble from head to toe as she held him. After a moment, her voice whispered in his ear, “You may not like the name Leo, but I do. It’s the name of my best friend.”

Leo chuckled softly in the crook of her neck. “Yeah? I guess it’s not all bad, then.”

Piper didn’t say that name right. There was no one on Earth who could anymore. But maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing after all. She said Leo right. When she said Leo, it sounded like a smirk curling over lips and peanut butter and marshmallow sandwiches shared when no one would even look at him. It sounded like stupid pranks and stolen Pokemon games and staying up past curfew to watch the stars. It sounded like the sort of kindness and acceptance he thought he’d never deserve again. 

It sounded like his name. 

[picaroroboto]

Headcanons for a Librarian X AU:

- when Angela first encounters him wandering around the Library she understandably mistakes him for Ayin and (also understandably) lashes out. Roland intervenes and calms her down, not because he particularly cares, but it's hard to watch Angela blow the limbs off a guy who's just as surprised and confused to be here as she is to see him - X gets set up as a Patron Librarian with his own floor (largely so Angela doesn't have to see him if she doesn't want to), it's located where Da'at would be on the Tree of Life, below Kether and between Binah and Hokma - same spot where Carmen's brain was on Day 50 - and what better specialization would there be for a guy who's defining traits are memory and identity issues (+ god knows what other mental illnesses) than psychology? - fighting space for the Floor of Psychology is a long, architecturally impressive bridge, with a bunch of other structures receding into fog in the background - picture The Cage from Nier Reincarnation if you know that - the other Patron Librarians don't really hold any grudge, but things are still a little awkward - that's their former boss after all, and they might also remember some of the worse loops. - within the first hour of being left on his own he's developed a new filing system for books (blame the autism) but some of the Assistant Librarians are not happy about him making their jobs a little harder - he's got a special combat deck: maybe focused on buffing allies because of his former role as Manager, or cards inspired by the work/damage types from LobCorp - Abnormalities for his floor: many of the ones I'd associate with him are already on other floors...but one that would definetly work is [CENSORED], we know he's been directly driven insane by it in at least one loop, plus there could be a symbolic association - "censorship" meaning information that has been restricted by an authority, like how his true identity was kept from him - other Abnormalities: maybe Notes from a Crazed Researcher, Backwards Clock? - somehow he still has the cactus that used to be on the desk. He complains that even though the Library is full of light the cactus still won't bloom, because it's all artificial light and it needs true sunlight. He's still going to borrow a book on houseplant care from Tiphereth's Floor of Natural Sciences though

[mxliv-oftheendless]

As a grad student in a Library and Information Science program, I keep thinking about how records are stored and preserved in Middle Earth. I’m definitely going to do a sequel post to this, but for now here’s my headcanon:

The concepts of record storage and archiving are connected to Vairë the Weaver, the Vala who weaves the story of the world in her tapestries. Obviously she needs a place to keep all her tapestries (which is the Halls of Mandos), but she also influenced the creation of archives in Aman when the elves first came and wanted to preserve their own history. Aulë was also involved somehow, because I feel like he’d be all in on the idea of a preservation system that builds on itself as time goes on. The system created in Aman trickled over to Middle Earth once the Noldor arrived, particularly after Fingolfin got there, and tended to clash with the records management system Doriath used. It’s an ongoing debate even into the Fourth Age which system is better.

[siconetribal]

Beyond the Bookshelves (6)

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Warnings: Mischief fails, Tricks on you, When you realize what you did wrong

Summary: You’re a Resource Management Specialist at S.H.I.E.L.D. normally referred to as “The Librarian”. You’ve been assigned the nightmarish task of digitizing all the physical resources currently owned by the agency, with a few new computers and one extra helper.

A/N:

Please comment/like/reblog. If you’d like to be tagged moving forward, please let me know! (If I missed ant tags, please let me know, I'll add you right away!)

The lovely banners used in this fic are from @cafekitsune.

If you’re new to the story, please check out the master post for the rest of the chapters.

To say he was unamused was an understatement. Four days have gone by since the incident in the library. A complete 96 hours of him not being allowed entry into the one sanctuary he has in this tower. 5,760 minutes since he last held the book he was supposed to be reading but has been forced to leave incomplete due to one person. The Librarian; he seethed at the thought of the young woman. I’ve done absolutely nothing wrong, and she dares to keep me from the library?

Though the dismissal by the Librarian was abrupt and rude, he hardly took it as something serious and proceeded to the library the very next day. That was where the trouble began. No matter how he tapped or swiped, the same red light flashed on the panel. After the seventh attempt, he let out a sigh of frustration and nearly threw the rectangular piece of plastic at the door.

“Jarvis, what is the meaning of this?” Loki demanded.

“Please clarify,” the computer voice responded.

“Why am I unable to enter the library?”

“Because your key card is blocked from accessing the library.”

“And why is that?” He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. This must be a mistake. I have frequented the library every day. I’ll inform the metal man of his ‘precious’ computer system’s error.

“Loki, the second prince of Asgard and Avenger, is forbidden from entering the library until cleared by Director Y/LN, the Librarian, as of yesterday evening. You are unable to access this portion of the facility until further notice.” The second prince of Asgard silently blinked as his brain took a moment to process what was just said. 

“What did you say?” He glared at the camera that watched the entry. The computer repeated the restriction details verbatim. “Preposterous, why would I be banned from the library? I command you to remove this ludicrous restriction, immediately.”

“Unable to authorize override. A higher level of clearance is required.”

“What do you mean a ‘higher level of clearance’? What level is there higher than a prince? A literal god in your realm?” He glared at the security camera above the door. A low growl rumbled in the base of his throat, his hands balled into tight fists.

“Though you are a prince, your status does not allow you the authority above the person who instated the rule. Director Y/LN is of higher rank than you, who has Avenger status.” The insipid tone of the computer was salt to his wounded pride. A mere Midgardian who minded the books was above him? The sound of footsteps quickly quelled his ire and he left, he would try again another day. The silly order would be gone by tomorrow. Or so he thought. Here he was four days later and still denied access to the library. The same red light and same monotonous warning played each and every time.

“Perhaps I should try going in with someone else? But who?” He muttered to himself, tapping a finger against his lips.

“Loki, is everything ok?” He turned at the voice. A sound once utterly dreadful was now music to his ears. He would risk his sanity for a chance to step through those doors once more.

“Captain, err, Captain, you really are a sight for sore eyes. You see, I’ve misplaced my key card, and I wasn’t sure how else I would be able to enter the library.”

“Lost your key card? That isn’t good, you should let security know right away. You don’t want it to fall in the wrong hands. I’ll let you in with mine, but you have to promise me you’ll handle the matter right away.” He raised his card as proof as he sternly looked at the trickster god.

“Of course, I wouldn’t want to cause unnecessary trouble for the Avengers who so graciously given me the chance to mend my image and prove myself. You have my word to have the matter resoled quickly.”

“Good,” Steve nodded his head before tapping his card on the panel.

“Welcome, Captain Rogers.” The doors slowly swing open, revealing the glorious sight of the towering shelves in ample lighting. Loki quickly followed in behind him, his heart swelling at the majestic sight.

“Good afternoon, how can I help you today?” The sound of her voice sent ice through his veins, the warmth quickly replaced. He needed to hide, but he was taller than Steve. Her sharp gaze pinned him to the spot. “Captain Rogers, I see you brought a guest with you. Please tell him to leave the library at once and use his own key to swipe himself in.”

“He’s having trouble getting in, Y/N. He lost his key card and couldn’t enter. You know Loki likes to read, could you let him pass this one time? For my sake?”

“The rules are the rules. All who pass through those doors must be registered in the system on entry and exit. You know it’s for security reasons. I can’t play favorites to one person and could lose my job if word got out that I’m letting people bypass protocol.” She firmly countered. Her gaze was sharp, unwavering. They were emotionless, which contrasted the charged words. Loki could not help but find himself ensnared by those eyes.

“I didn’t consider that, I’m sorry.” Steve lightly bowed his head to her before turning to Loki. “You heard her. Looks like you’ll need to get a new key card first.” The weight of the gloved hand snapped Loki out of his little daze.

“Yes, I suppose.” Loki mumbled his response, his focus never shifting from the young woman behind the desk. “Thank you for your assistance.” He forced himself to turn and break away first, leaving the library for the day.

A week’s worth of time ticked by since that day, each attempt of his thwarted in someway by the system or her.

Enough is enough! I’ve played by their little rules and look where it’s gotten me. I’ll do this my way. He pushed off the arms of the chair, using the momentum to quickly exit the lounge area that was set up for the Avengers. Just as the door opened, Loki vanished into thin air and reappeared within the walls of the library. A smug smirk pulled at his lips as he tugged at his shirt. I should’ve done this from the start. He strode towards the unmanned front desk when an alarm blared above.

“Warning, you are in violation of your revoked privileges. Please leave the library at once. Failure to do so will lead to forceful expulsion. Warning, you are in violation of your revoked privileges. Please leave the library at once. Failure to do so will lead to forceful expulsion.” The computer voice loudly repeated, startling the god of mischief. He quickly stepped out through the doors, the alarm and warning ceasing immediately. 

Perhaps I should have landed elsewhere in the library. There are obviously more cameras within the entryway. He vanished once more and reappeared next to his usual seat. There, waiting on the table, was the book he was reading. Smiling, he grabbed the book and settled into the couch when the alarms began once again. 

Warning, you are in violation of your revoked privileges. Please leave the library at once. Failure to do so will lead to forceful expulsion. Warning, you are in violation of your revoked privileges. Please leave the library at once. Failure to do so will lead to forceful expulsion.” 

“By Odin’s beard,” he slammed the book down on the table as he stood up from his seat. “How does a computer intend to forcefully remove me?!” He argued.

“You have ten minutes to leave before security is summoned.”

Of course, he gritted his teeth in frustration before vanishing from the library once more. “What reason does she have to ban me in such a humiliating manner? What wrong have I done? Absolutely nothing, that’s what!” He kicked the stool that was in his way as he walked over to the kitchenette to make himself some tea. It was his seventh cup today since he had no other means of relaxing, and he was stressed to the heaves because of this unwarranted restriction.

“Brother, is everything alright?” Thor’s voice came from his left. He watched his younger sibling suddenly appear in the lounge and instantly knew he was in a sour mood. The assault on the stool only confirmed what the deep set scowl on his face gave away. Loki waved him off dismissively at first, heavily sighing. “Clearly something is bothering you. You’ve attacked a completely harmless piece of furniture that was hardly in your way for getting tea.” He pointed to the toppled piece laying on its side.

The younger prince was ready to insist that nothing was the matter, but the words failed to come out. The look of anger and hurt in those open and expressive eyes haunted him since that fateful day. Perhaps Thor was the best person to ask. He’s friendly with them, and she seems to have taken a liking to him. “I am having a slight issue with that librarian we are to work with. She has forbidden me from entering the library. Do you know why that could be?”

“Why, I wouldn’t have the faintest idea! She hardly seems the time to do that unwarranted, perhaps your sharp tongue has gotten you into a spot of trouble once more? What did you say to her?” He took a sip of his coffee and Loki scoffed.

“I barely said three proper sentences to her before she threw me out over whatever she concocted in that troubled mind of hers!” 

“Loki, a woman scorned, is not to be taken lightly. Perhaps there was a misunderstanding when you tried to explain why you were unable to keep your promise?”

“Unable to keep my promise, what promise?” Loki frowned, but said nothing to let Thor continue. He watched his older brother’s eyes nearly pop out of his head as he set his mug on the table.

“You promised to meet with her after training the day we met with her. Our session ran longer than anticipated and the time to meet was missed. Loki, did you not apologize to her?” Thor nervously eyed him, hoping he was wrong. Loki’s posture went rigid and his eyebrows shot upwards.

Is that what she meant?! I completely forgot I made such a promise. Norns, it’s not what I said, it’s what I hadn’t said! “It seems that detail slipped my mind.” He mumbled, turning back to his tea, stirring the sugar he added.

“Quite the detail to forget. My advice is you try to speak with her and clear the confusion. She needs our assistance, and we promised it to her. If you can’t go in, why not call her?”

“Do you have her number?” Thor shook his head. “Neither do I.”

 “Then send an email? She did reach out to us through there initially.”

“An email,” he wrinkled his nose at the suggestion. Though the technology was astounding, it was troublesome. But what other choice do I have? “I’ll consider it.”

“Do not wait too long, you may lose your chance. Take it from me, I’ve learned through my arguments with Jane that sometimes swifter actions are better than waiting it out. With that, I must take my leave. I have a meeting with my mission team.” He downed the last of his coffee and left, the room growing quiet and spacious without the larger than life first prince.

Tags: @vbecker10 @huntress-artemiss @softestqueeen @thegodofnotknowing @princess-ofthe-pages @firedrakegirl @rcailleachcola @cabingrlandrandomcrap @lotrefcp @lwtannie @jainaeatsstars @msdjsg7 @tom-hlover @kneelingformyloki @gruftiela @gigglingtiggerv2 @kats72 @mischief2sarawr

[transmutationisms]

can u talk a bit more about working as a bibliographer? like what does that actually entail?

so the bibliography i worked at was affiliated with the major academic professional society of my subfield, and the society sponsors the bibliography as a kind of sister publication to their journal. this means 1) we were almost exclusively grant-funded, and 2) the staff positions at the bibliography go to grad students. there are jobs in bibliography and related information sciences that are not exclusive to academics/grad students, but i can't really tell you anything about them personally; i had this job as a graduate research assistant (ie this was what i did to get my paycheck for two years instead of TAing).

anyway the purpose of a bibliography like this that's affiliated with a journal or subfield is usually to aggregate data on what's published in that journal or subfield. ours was aimed at capturing the whole subfield. so, the bulk of the staff job is to comb through recent academic publications (journal articles & books) and pull anything that's topically relevant. we add the abstract and metadata to the bibliography (meaning basically a searchable database) and then we do subject tagging. this is the most fun part because you have to think about how knowledge is categorised and what's most useful to a user and whatnot.

so like let's say i'm entering an article from the journal of the history of psychiatry. i already pulled the metadata from the online journal listing and put it through zotero, which then talks to the bibliography's back end. i do the authority control (link it with the author's other publications in our bibliography, and with some external identity profile like viaf or orcid). i link it to the journal in our database and make sure it has the right date, page numbers, etc. this article is about philippe pinel, so its main category tag is probably 'psychiatry - 19th century'. then i aim for 5–10 additional subject tags, maybe 'france, metropolitan', 'psychiatric hospitals and institutions', 'therapy and therapeutic methods', 'philosophy of medicine', 'nosology and diagnosis', 'pitié-salpetrière hospice', etc.

once this is all entered, the article is searchable by any of its metadata, by going to the author's profile in our database, or by those subject and category tags. institutions (universities, libraries, hospitals, etc) all have their own authority controls too. you can browse the database by data, by subject tag, by searching keywords, etc; it also has a few visualisation tools that show strongly associated subject tags, histograms of a person's or publisher's history of publication, etc. this all means that things are more easily discoverable than they might be, and once you've found them you can also browse related things easily, or look at some provisional info on the state of publications in the field.

because this bibliography was affiliated with a journal, we also used to publish a yearly print edition with the entries published in the last year (this was satisfying to hold but honestly way less functional than the online database version lol) and we also published a special edition of bibliographic / historiographic essays on pandemics that i worked as managing editor for. idk how common this would be at other kinds of bibliographic job positions; we used the same publisher as the sister journal, so mostly all i had to do was correspond with people and deal with typesetting. anyway once that was published we also added those articles to the bibliography itself too.

anyway super fun job tbh, like a lot of it is data entry but haggling over subject tags was honestly enjoyable if you like that kind of thing. i lost the battle to add "total institutions" as a subject tag but won when i said we needed to revamp our system for entries dealing with weight management; as a result those subject tags are now clearer and more useful, and capture scientific discourses about both 'underweight' and 'overweight'. our best tag imo was "controversies and disputes", which was like a catch-all for any time there was some kind of haterism in the literature. it kind of changed how i view knowledge categorisation (like, the process; philosophy-of) and because we spent so much time reading abstracts to tag them, we would basically have walking encyclopedic knowledge of recent publishing in the field.

some of this functionality can ofc be replicated in library catalogues or google scholar or whatever, but the real value-add is the subject tagging and the relationships between those terms; this is where the bibliography is useful both for finding things and for showing an additional layer of information about the field and publishing in it. lots of academic fields have some equivalent of this, although i will say that our database was generally better (in the sense of more data and useful detail) than others i've used; it was a well-funded project run by a very dedicated prof who's been doing this for over 20 years now, and that continuity and institutional memory is really paying off for it.

but yeah if this is generally something that interests you, like i said, this is really just one specific form of bibliographic work. definitely look into what else is out there (i dunno how much of this would require a degree like an mlis even) and see what you think :)

[mychlapci]

reading that Tarantulas and Prowl processor overload ask has revived one of my recently dormant fetishes

(this is an expansion on the forced porn download ask actually, wasn't really done b4 sending)

Prowl's archives just being a massive database of miscellaneous data, which seems like a fully practical thing that he'd do for simulation work at first glance, but in truth, he just never deletes anything because he gets off to the feeling of being just sooooo full in places no physical sensation can reach.

He wasn't always like this, you see. Prowl used to maintain good software management habits. He'd defrag according to a strict schedule, used connection buffers often and cleared his processing queues before recharge. He would never think twice about netdiving into shady websites with nasty popups, let alone download anything from there. But eventually, as his processors develop at that exponential pace his handlers noticed upon bringing him online, Prowl got bolder.

Bold enough to make a slip up and plug into a corrupt mainframe, triggering that forced download and kickstarting his fetish for good. He barely remembers anything about that incident other than an overwhelming mental barrage of arousal. Sometimes Prowl wonders if his colleagues at the time knew just what was literally going through his head as he slumped over on the console, seizing in place as they frantically tried to disconnect him safely. Maybe they caught the scent of his overload under his panels, and chose not to say anything.

Prowl would of course say that he was perfectly fine after that incident, but he'd be haunted by that instance of utter bliss he'd felt when like 30 terrabytes of ERP chatlogs and erotic flashgames burned through his neural circuitry. Eventually, he'd start by visiting a library. Full of clean and safe data to indulge in. Then he started logging all non-confidential precinct data, like routine security footage that's get deleted anyways, and dispatch call recordings. Then he started downloading from legal websites, then onto not so legal ones.

He even has backup and extra hard drives stored in his office and habisuite in plain sight, since no one else but other archivists and data specialists would catch on to his kink in the first place. Every once in a while, he'd plug himself into all these units and just let all that data flood through him, his fans and cooling systems squealing in effort to keep up with the deluge of information forcing it's way through his staticy brain, reducing his overclocked cognitive units into jello as his RAM gets consumed by pure uncontrollable math.

He loves the feel of his mind being pounded by googols of nonsense, it makes him hornier than anything else. He'd save anything from the internet, books and numeric databases are his usual go tos; high definition media are a must, the more graphically and audially intensive the better; the most unoptimized and performance heavy video games, anything that would fill up his hungry battle computer until it's full to bursting and melting.

Sometimes when he feels extra naughty, he'd even fire up the various malware and viruses the Spec Ops team would bring back, on top of all the seedy ones he'd find online. He'd trigger them in his processor and lie back in his berth, finger his fluttering pussy and feel the malicious software start tearing through his brain as his battle computer instinctively fights back, making him feel soooo hot all over. And every time he overloads, it sweeps all of his progress, and the self cleaning protocols will just have to restart as he writhes helplessly in the dark of his room.

Software sanctity? Fuck that, he'd hit anything as long as it demolishes his brain and make him into a silly, messy, spasming horny mess. A real dataslut.

god this is so good. He's quite literally overloading his processor out. It's almost like an addiction. Of course, Prowl could stop any time he wants... he could, he just doesn't want to! After a while, pumping his head full of junk data and malicious viruses is the only way Prowl can even have a fulfilling orgasm. Being full of miscellaneous data is just not enough. It's a pleasant pressure in his constantly calculating brain, yes, but if he wants to cum, he needs something stronger. He'll keep frying his brain inside of his helm as long as he gets to feel that electrifying thrill of his battle computer struggling to deflect the attacks on his mainframe.

It feels like he's falling apart at the circuits, delicate wiring so hot that it's disintegrating into dust, and all he can do is frantically rub his soaking wet valve through it all, optics bright and staring off into space as his HUD floods with nonsense. All his senses are completely taken over by the foreign malware, all he knows is that he feels so good.

Honestly, I wonder what would happen if he got stuck like that. Just for a day or two. And someone had to find him in his apartment, face twisted in pure bliss as his frame keeps twitching even after countless hours of continuous overloads. Of course, Prowl's processor gets cleaned out after that, yet he can't help but want to repeat it... to feel so absolutely stuffed and overwhelmed with data that he's just a wet, helpless thing. To give up control and let his processor sink into endless pleasure.

But for now, he's got a morning shift at the precinct to finish.