#Like I’ve cleaned my room and showered but I don’t remember even thinking about it??

[betterthanbatman1]

Omg guys Ive been so tired today and I literally had like 2+hours of zoned out daydreaming and I was like omg I don’t want to forget this. So I wrote it out and now I have almost 1.5K words 😭

I might just publish my first fic 👀

[guiltypleasurecreative]

Best Friend Vacation

Best friends Harry and Y/N have been the best of friends for nearly a decade. They’re such close friends they take an annual vacation together, just the two of them. This trip, however, may just be the one that changes things.

Contents: Explicit depictions of sex, fluff

6.6k words

“Oh, my goodness. Harry! This is so nice!”

“Yeah, I think this is the nicest one yet.” Harry set the luggage just inside the door of the cabin you rented for the week. It had been a long drive, but it was still early afternoon—plenty of time to relax and enjoy the day.

You couldn’t say anymore who’s idea it was, but for the last five or six years you and Harry have taken a friends vacation together. One year, you invited some mutual friends, and it wasn’t as fun or relaxing, so you stuck to just the two of you. Things were so much better this way.

After nearly nine years of friendship, you two were super close. You two hung out most weekends and recently had spent many weeks planning this trip to a forested mountainous town close enough to the coast that you could smell the salty ocean air.

“Which room do you want, Harry?”

“I wake up earlier than you, so I want the one with the view. I want my morning tea with a view.”

“I can enjoy the same view when I wake at noon.”

“I’m calling it, Y/N,” he smiled at you and picked up your bags, setting them into the other room – the one without a view, apparently. “Look! Yours has an en suite with a big bathtub.”

You walked further into the room and saw there was a large claw foot tub. “Wow, I don’t remember this on the listing.”

“Me either. Maybe its new and they just haven’t updated the listing yet?”

He turned around to face you, but you only shrugged.

“Let’s put the groceries away, and we’ll figure out what to see first. Maybe we just hang out here and jump in the jacuzzi?”

“Are you hungry?” Harry asked as you entered the house. You’d spent the afternoon in the jacuzzi with a bottle of Moscato. When the bottle was empty you and Harry decided it was time to go inside.

“Getting there.”

“Let’s get cleaned up then I’ll make dinner?”

“Sounds good.”

When you got out of the shower you heard the sound of chopping coming from the kitchen.

“Hey.” Harry greeted you while chopping heirloom tomatoes. “I thought we could have something light. We have burrata and pesto so I’m making a nice tomato salad. I’ve got some garlic bread in the oven.

“That sounds lovely. What can I do?” You took the towel from your hair and draped it over a chair at the kitchen counter.

“Nothing. Go pick a movie.” He smiled as he mixed the tomatoes in with the pesto then seasoned it with salt and pepper.

“What do you feel like watching?” You walked to the living room and turned on the giant television.

“Whatever. What about that movie you were telling me about on the drive up?”

Harry put the burrata in the center of a serving plate and the tomatoes around it. Harry always had a knack when it came to making food look as good as it tasted. On another plate he piled the garlic bread then took it out to the living room where you sat on the couch, remote control in hand.

“Can you grab us some drinks?” Harry asked as the plates on the coffee table. He looked up and saw that you had on a very tiny pair of pajama shorts.

“Of course. Beer okay?”

“Y/N, didn’t you pack any pants? You’re not even wearing socks!”

“I was hot after my shower!”

“Yeah, but as soon as you sit down, you’re gonna get cold. And what are you gonna do? You’re going to tuck your cold ass feet under me!”

“But you’re always so warm!”

“Y/N...get socks at least.” Harry was behind you in the kitchen now grabbing two small plates and utensils.

“Yes, dad.” You smirked, knowing you were annoying him.

“Fine, don’t listen. But you can’t tuck your cold feet under me and I’m not letting you warm up your fingers on me either.”

“Just grab me a blanket if you’re so worried, damn.”

Harry smacked your ass then called you a brat under his breath.

“Bastard! I almost dropped the bottles!” Harry only turned around and winked at you in response.

Harry sat on the couch. When you sat down, he handed you a plate then served you.

“This was a good idea, Har. Something nice and light after all that crap we ate for lunch.”

“Actually, I wanted something lighter because I want ice cream with all the toppings later.”

You rolled your eyes and pressed play on the movie.

The two of you ate in a comfortable silence.

“Pause it for me please? I’m going to put the leftovers away.”

“Yeah, sure. Thanks. And get some socks! It still gets chilly at night.” He smacked your ass again as you got up from the couch.

“Are you going to bitch at me every night? We are never taking a vacation in the Spring again. Summer only.”

“Then I’ll just bitch at you about staying hydrated in the heat.” He smiled up at you as he laid down on the couch.

“You’re insufferable.”

“I’m your best friend. You know you love me! Hurry up, the plot was just getting good.”

You put the leftovers away then went to your room to grab socks out of your luggage. When you returned to the living room you sat down by Harry’s head and made a big show of putting on your socks.

Harry smiled and gave your thigh a light squeeze. “Thank you.”

The movie was pretty good, not what you had expected, but it was enjoyable. When it was over you stood up and stretched, looking down at Harry.

“I think I’m going to bed. You want me to get you some ice cream before I go?”

“Nah, I don’t really feel like it anymore. I think I’ll go read my book. Thanks.” Harry stretched before standing up, too.

“Alright. Good night, Har.”

“Night. Sleep well.” He kissed you on the top of your head and squeezed your shoulder before walking to his room.

When you reached your room, you took your time washing up then climbed in bed. You scrolled your phone for a bit, but you couldn’t quite relax. Thankfully, you brought your toy with you.

You got out of bed and looked for it in your luggage. Quickly, you realized it wasn’t in that particular bag, so you searched your other bag, but had no luck. In frustration you flipped on the bedside light and dumped both bags onto the bed.

A few minutes later you were folding your clothes and putting them back in your luggage, defeated. A knock on your door startled you.

“Y/N?”

“Come in.”

“Everything okay? I got up and saw your light was on.” Harry was dressed in sleeping pants with a matching unbuttoned shirt. He had obviously just thrown it on just to leave his bedroom.

“I forgot my vibrator,” you sighed.

Harry chuckled. “Oh, no. A sexually frustrated Y/N is no fun at all.”

You rolled your eyes. “Go to bed, Harry.”

He sat down on the bed, watching you put your things back into your bag. “Oh, come on. Don’t get all bent out of shape. You still have hands.”

You stopped what you were doing just to smack Harry in the arm. “You think if that worked for me, I’d be upset right now?”

“What? So it won’t feel as nice. It’ll still take the edge off.”

You put your bags away and flopped on the bed next to Harry. “No, like, I can’t get there at all without help. Trying just makes me more frustrated.”

After a moment of silence, you reached over to turn off the lamp on the bedside table. “You staying or going? I’m just going to go to sleep.” You didn’t wait for an answer before you settled under the covers again and prepared to sleep.

“Would you like my help?”

With a hearty laugh you swiped your hand down Harry’s face. “Close your eyes and go to sleep Harry.”

“No, I’m serious. Thinking about your toy got me all worked up, too.” You didn’t respond so he continued. “My hand isn’t as fun either. Why don’t we help each other out?”

Is he for real?

“Harry, did the heat from the jacuzzi get to your head?” You chuckled and reached out for his hand and closed your eyes again.

“No, but all my blood is rushing south. Maybe that’s it.”

You opened your eyes again and looked down at his pants. The room was dark, but you could still see he wasn’t lying. He was sporting a bit of a hard on and you let out a breathy laugh. “You’re ridiculous sometimes, you know that?”

“Mmm. Night, Y/N.”

Harry said good night but made no move to go back to his bed. You two had slept together on who knows how many occasions. It was never a big deal, but tonight felt different. You had never fallen asleep next to him while he had a hard on. Or at least not that you knew of.

The two of you laid together quietly before you spoke up. “Okay. Let’s help each other out. I’m not gonna sleep in this state. You can’t be too comfortable either.”

“Y/N?”

“Oh, come on. You make the suggestion then get shy on me? Besides, we’ve seen each other naked before.”

“You’ve seen me because you never knock anymore, but I don’t recall ever seeing you,” he said with a laugh.

“Wow, Harry. Thanks. Good to know it was memorable.”

“I’m serious! I don’t remember. When?”

You turned your body to face him, and he did the same.

“You’ve seen my breasts I don’t know how many times!”

“Breasts don’t count! You’ve seen mine too.” Harry laughed again.

“We really lack boundaries, don’t we?” You giggled.

“Nah, I think we’re just comfortable with each other.”

“Maybe,” you laughed, “but breasts count.”

“Breasts do not count,” Harry countered.

“Okay, well, this is your chance to see the rest of me. Are up for it?”

Harry sat in silence for a moment. “I’m game. My situation hasn’t gone away yet.”

You laughed, “I can’t believe we’re gonna do this. We’re so stupid.”

“We’ve been stupider,” Harry answers, causing both of you to laugh harder.

Harry cleared his throat in an attempt to stop his laughter. “So, we’re serious about this?”

“Yeah, why not. We’ve been stupider right?” You smiled at your best friend.

“Like that time we got lost in Rome after letting our cell phones die?” Harry sat up and put his hand on your knee.

“God, that was so dumb. I still don’t know how we managed to find our way back to the hotel.”

The two of you broke out into a fit of laughter again.

“So. Any hard boundaries? Things that you like?”

“Harry, I’m not discussing my kinks with you. We’re just going to scratch this itch and go to bed.”

“Okay, okay. You afraid I’ll judge you if I find out you like your hair pulled?”

You were a little surprised. “How did you know that?”

Harry shrugged. “Lucky guess.”

“Ugh, you know me too well.” You got comfortable on the bed and Harry moved to stand on his knees between your legs. He rested his hands on your knees.

“That I do, but I still don’t know where you draw the line.”

“Uhhh. I like dirty talk, but nothing degrading. Nothing rough. I don’t like pain.”

“I could have guessed that,” Harry chuckled.

“What about you? Any no-goes?”

“No, I’ve always really enjoyed wherever the act takes me,” he laughed.

“You’re such a man,” you joked.

Harry shrugged out of his unbuttoned shirt. “Do you…want me to play with you?”

“That feels a bit too intimate, don’t you think?”

“More intimate than sex? Not really. And unless you want to start this with no warmup all dr—”

“Okay. Uh, you could…you could touch me?”

“Sure.” He kissed your forehead and moved from between your legs to lay down beside you. He looked in your eyes as he rested his head on your pillow. He rubbed your stomach, just below your navel. When he moved his hand in gentle circles, his fingers grazing the waistband of your shorts.

“Wanna take these off?” His voice was soft and quiet.

“Yeah.” You looked down at your waist where Harry’s hands still laid. You lifted your hips to take off your shorts and underwear.

Harry groaned and looked back up at your face. “Can I go lower?”

You nodded, not saying a word. He slid his hands lower, barely grazing over your clit on his way to run his fingers between your folds. Your mouth fell open with a sharp intake of breath. His face mirrored yours, clearly drunk on your pleasure.

He played with you for a bit as both of you watched his fingers dip low to gather your arousal and bring it to your clit. He felt amazing. You closed your eyes and focused on your growing pleasure.

“Y/N?”

“Yes?” You opened your eyes and focused on his face. You could see his arm flexing out of the corner of your eye and it was driving you mad.

“It’s getting painful.” He chuckled uncomfortably.

“Fuck! Sorry!” You got up on your knees, forcing Harry to pull his hand away. “Lie back.”

Harry laid on his back and tucked an arm under his head, watching you.

“Can I take these off?” You kneeled between his legs with both hands on his pants.

“’Course.” He lifted his hips to help you take off his pajama pants. You tugged his pants all the way off of his legs. When you looked back up at him, he had his fingers pressed to his face. “You smell really good.”

You shuddered. It was always such a turn on when a partner enjoyed the smell of you. Without taking his eyes away from you he licked his fingers.

You let out a moan. “Really?”

“It’s a huge turn on for me.” Harry had a broad grin on his face.

“Me too. Never thought we’d know that about each other.”

Harry laughed, prompting you to laugh, too. When you felt a throbbing in your core you decided to get serious.

“Spit.” You held your hand out to his mouth. Harry furrowed his brows. “I mean, unless you like it dry.”

Without taking his eyes away from yours he sat up and spit in your hand. Jesus, that was hot. You brought your hand to the tip off his penis and began to rub him. Your other hand went between your legs to rub yourself. Harry’s eyes fluttered closed and his head fell back on the pillow. When he began to feel dry again you switched hands, bringing the hand covered in your arousal up to his dick.

Harry groaned loudly. “That is the hottest thing anyone’s ever done for me in bed.”

You smiled and hung your head. The feel of Harry’s dick in your hands was such a turn on and you could feel yourself getting closer to your release. You loved it when your partner moaned in bed, it was probably the sexiest thing a man could do in bed. Every sound that fell from Harry’s lips spurred you on.

“Ah—sh—it’s getting dry again.” Harry sat up on his elbows.

You nodded without a word and switched hands again, covering him in more of yourself.

“Y/N, are you still taking the pill?”

Both of your hands stopped moving. “Huh?”

“You’re still on the pill, right?”

“Yes. Yeah.” Your brain was too fuzzy with pleasure to figure out why he was asking.

“So, let’s like, actually do it.”

“Do you want to?” Your heart was still pounding in your chest. You could have come just like this, but you couldn’t turn down intertwining your bodies, feeling full.

“I think that’s pretty obviously a yes. You can feel how hard I am right now.”

You laughed and took your shirt off, just remembering it was still on when the fabric painfully rubbed against your nipples. Harry moaned at the sight of your bare breasts.

“Shit. You’re trying to kill me, aren’t you, Y/N?”

“At least you’ll remember seeing me naked now,” you laughed.

“I never forgot! I just said breasts don’t count.” He ran both hands down your sides. “You haven’t answered me yet.”

“Yes.”

“Regularly?”

You laughed remembering all the times he had to remind you to take your pills in the past. That was so long ago now; you had gotten much better at taking them regularly and on time. “Yes.”

“So, what’s stopping us then?” Harry sat up and wrapped his arms around your waist.

“Nothing.”

Harry smiled before pressing his lips to yours. He guided you down on to your back and climbed between your legs again. His kisses trailed from your lips, down your neck, then to your chest. You relished the feeling of his lips on you and running your fingers through his hair. Damn, was he good in bed.

“I wanna try something.” Harry was breathing heavily.

“Anything.”

Harry wasted no time bringing his lips to his to your nipple causing you to cry out. He propped himself up on one arm and brought his hand between your legs. His fingers slid into you and his thumb rubbed your clit.

“Ah! Harry, that feels really good.”

“Good.” He pressed another kiss to your chest.

All too soon you felt that familiar tension building then spilling over. You had one of the best orgasms you’ve had in who knows how long.

Harry pulled his fingers from between your legs and brought them to his lips. Once he had sucked his fingers clean, he brought himself to your entrance. “You’re still okay with this?”

“Yes,” you moaned.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and brought his body flush against your chest. He easily slid into you, filling you up. Harry pumped his hips, pulling in and out of you slowly while moaning. His breath on your neck was heavenly.

“Y/N, what’s your favorite position? What will make you come again?”

“I don’t know. A partner has never given me two in one go,” you answered.

“Jesus, Y/N. What kind of losers do you sleep with?”

You laughed but before you could even respond Harry had pulled out of you and was flipping you on to your stomach. He pulled your hips up just a bit so he could slide back in. He placed a hand on your ass and pushed you back down flat against the bed. His hand ran from your ass to your shoulder, massaging as he kissed the nape of your neck. With one last kiss he laid his body flat over yours.

“Cross your legs at the ankle and squeeze your legs together.”

You did as you were asked and thought you were going to come again. Your core was so tight he could barely move himself inside you. Just when you thought it couldn’t get any better, he slipped a hand between you and the bed to rub your clit. He continued to press soft kisses to your back as he slowly thrust in and out of you. You could feel how wet you were.

“Y/N, I’m close.”

“Harry, yes. Just use me.”

“No—ah, I need to see my girl’s face when I come. It’s kind of my thing.”

“Lie down,” you commanded.

Harry traded places with you then you grabbed his dick again and lined it up with your center. You sank down on him slowly, enjoying the sight of him coming unraveled.

He held on to your thighs until you placed both your hands over his and brought them to your breasts. “Keep touching me.”

Something about watching your chest rise and fall while you rocked your hips had Harry needing more. He grabbed you by the small of your back and pulled you close to him. He sat up and leveraged the headboard to thrust up into you, his hands back on your hips.

Eventually he felt the need to hold you even closer. He wrapped his arms around your torso and buried his face in your neck. When that wasn’t enough, he placed one hand on your ass helping you to grind into him. He brought his other hand up your spine and grasped the back of your neck.

“Y/N, quick—do I need to pull out?”

He sounded out of breath, and all wound up.

“No, Harry, just come.”

With that something in him snapped. He grabbed your head in both his hands, roughly dragging his thumbs over your lips. “Y/N, look at me.”

You grabbed his face too and held his stare as you felt his warm release spill inside you. He continued thrusting until he was spent, never letting go of your face. When he stilled, he rested his forehead against yours and closed his eyes.

He was the first to break the silence. “Well, that was quite something, huh?”

You laughed. “Jesus, Harry. You should just wife me right now because I don’t know how anything would ever feel that good ever again. You’ve ruined men for me so you should take some responsibility.”

Harry laughed that gorgeous full-chested laugh of his then tapped your thigh, indicating he wanted you to get off his lap. “Ah, careful, Y/N.” He was so sensitive over his penis sliding out of you. “I’ll be right back.”

You nodded and laid down on the bed. You told yourself that in a second you would get up and clean yourself, but for right now, you just needed a minute to catch your breath.

Harry got out of bed and slipped his pants back on. His first stop was to the hall closet for a hand towel. Next, he went to the kitchen and filled two glasses with ice and grabbed the bottle of Jack Daniel’s Tennessee Honey from the freezer. He turned on the tap in the kitchen sink and waited for the water to warm up. While he waited, he grabbed a bar of dark chocolate, knowing you couldn’t handle straight alcohol without something sweet.

Harry grabbed a serving tray off the counter and loaded everything on it before checking the water temperature. It was warm enough to sting his hand – just the right temperature for you. He soaked the towel thoroughly then wringed it out, trying not to burn himself on the hot water. How you enjoyed water that hot was beyond him.

When he got back to the room you were still in bed.

“Here, take this.” Harry set the tray on the bed and handed you a glass of ice. He filled it with chilled whiskey.

“Thank you, Harry. That’s so thoughtful.” You took a sip and grimaced even though you enjoyed the flavor.

“But wait! That’s not even the best part yet!”

Harry pulled the warm damp cloth from the tray and grabbed you by the back of your leg, just under your knee. It was one of your sensitive spots and was almost enough to make you want round two. He began wiping your thighs and cleaning you up.

“Wow. Aftercare? I’m impressed, Har. You this nice to all your partners?”

“A few,” he smiled up at you when you brought your glass to his lips and tilted it to give him a drink. You watched his throat as he swallowed. “Usually, I wear a condom so there isn’t this big of a mess.”

“Just a few? Aren’t I lucky, then?”

“You got that right,” he winked. “Only the best from my best friend. Look!” Harry reached behind him then held up the bar of dark chocolate. “I even remembered that you can’t drink it straight without something sweet.”

You giggled. “Wow. VIP treatment tonight.”

Harry finished cleaning you up the chucked the towel into a hamper near the bathroom door. You sat up and poured him a glass which he gladly accepted then laid down. You broke off a piece of chocolate and held it out to him. He grabbed it with his mouth and thanked you.

“What are we doing tomorrow?” Harry asked even though his mouth was still full of chocolate.

You sat up and faced him. “Depends. Do you wanna stick close and go into town or do you want to take a little drive to the coast?”

“Mmmm. That’s a tough one. Why don’t we play it by ear?”

You playfully nudged him. “You mean you don’t have tomorrow all planned out already? Another?”

“Yes, please.” Harry held his mouth open waiting for another piece of chocolate.

“If we stay in town, we can go to that cute little restaurant we saw on the way up.” You tapped his shoulder as if it would jog his memory.

Harry nodded his head but otherwise stayed quiet. He finished his drink then set it down on the tray at the end of the bed.

“I don’t know about you, but I think I need another shower. I worked up a good sweat and now my skin feels all tight and sticky.”

“Can I join?”

“That depends. Are you going to want the temperature scalding hot?”

“Maybe. But I know you love it when someone washes your back for you.”

“Alright, you can come with. But I want you to scrub my back really well. Few minutes at least.” Harry had a playful look in his eyes.

“Deal.”

“Well alright then. Lead the way,” Harry followed behind you, watching as you opened the glass door to the spacious shower and turned on the water.

You stuck your hand under the water and looked at Harry. “This good?”

Harry leaned into the shower stall, a hand on the small of your back. “I guess. Unless you’re willing to turn it down just a tiny bit?”

“Not a chance.” You stepped into the shower under the stream of water. He always knew you were beautiful, but tonight was something else.

“You’re making me want another round,” Harry smiled as he slipped off his pants and stepped in the shower, closing the door behind him.

“Funny, I was thinking that earlier when you were cleaning me up.” You twirled your finger in a motion that asked him to turn around. “Pass me the body wash please.”

Harry passed the bottle and waited until he felt you press a soapy loofah to his back. You placed your other hand on his back to steady yourself as you ran the loofah over his back and sides.

“You know, that was pretty good for me, too. Maybe we can do it again. I mean, there’s no harm, right?”

“Yeah. Until one of us gets into a new relationship,” you agreed.

Harry laughed, “Why would I need someone else?”

You hit him on the back with the loofah before scrubbing him. “What do you mean? I’m not sleeping with you while you’re sleeping with someone else.”

“No, that’s not what I mean. I mean, why would I need someone else when I have you? With you I have companionship, someone there when I need them. You give me advice and now I know that we can have some of the best sex I’ve ever had together? What more do I need? We already kind of plan our futures with the other in mind. So… why involve anyone else? I have it made now.”

Both of you laughed.

 “Here. You finish up.” You handed him the loofah and grabbed the shampoo. You began to wash his hair.

“What about love? You can live without someone to romantically love?” You ran your fingers through his hair, cleaning his curly brown locks.

“I don’t know, Y/N. You keep screwing me like that I think I could get to romantic love. I already love you; I just need a couple more orgasms like that to tip me over the edge.”

You held his arms for stability as you bent forward laughing. He held you back and joined in your laughter.

“You’re terrible. Wash up.” You pushed him under the water and watched as he closed his eyes and washed the shampoo from his hair.

“’Kay, your turn.” Harry lathered his palms with shampoo and worked it into your hair by massaging your scalp. You hummed with pleasure, loving it when someone rubbed your head.

“Remember Adriana?”

You didn’t open your eyes to answer him, “Of course. You were crazy about her.”

“I was. But we agreed we weren’t the best for each other.” Harry began to clean the rest of his body. “We actually argued once because she thought we were too close.”

“Sorry, Harry. She wasn’t too far off the mark, though. I mean, look at our history. And then this evening—” You trailed off not finishing your thought.

“Can’t argue that,” Harry chuckled.

Harry placed a hand on your waist to trade places with you so you could rise off.

“I think I’m good without a girlfriend. How about you? Think you’ll get back into the dating game?”

“I don’t know.” You turned to look at Harry. “Done?”

“Yeah. I’ll grab our towels.”

You turned off the water and Harry took a step outside of the shower stall and handed you a towel.

You continued your thought as you dried yourself. “I mean, I think I’m good for now. You’re right that we already have a lot of the components that make a relationship fulfilling. I wouldn’t mind exploring a more physical relationship with you because I already know I can be open and trust you.”

Harry grinned from ear to ear. “I’m always right.”

You playfully smacked his chest and moved past him out of the shower.

“Love you, Y/N.”

You smiled at him but didn’t say it back.

“Y/N! I said I love you.”

Again, you didn’t respond, only nodding. You knew Harry could not handle it when you didn’t say it back.

“Y/N! Say it back!”

Instead, you wrapped the towel around you tighter and scurried back to bed.

“Brat! Come here and say it back to me!”

Harry followed after you and grabbed you with both arms causing you to yelp. He pinned you to the bed and tickled you.

“Say it back, Y/N. Say you love me back and you can end this.”

“Harry, please!” You cried out between giggles.

“Just say it. Three words and I’ll let you go.”

“Ugh, you’re so annoying.”

“Wrong.” He wrapped your hair around his hand to expose your neck. He blew raspberries on the sensitive skin behind your ear.

“Okay, fine! I love you! Are you happy now? Shit!”

Harry playfully pushed your head into the bed and rolled off of you.

You acted mad but Harry knew better. “Was that so hard?”

“No, but I can’t let you have everything so easily. Someone has to keep you in check.”

“So like you. Difficult for no reason.” Harry winked but you still threw a pillow at him.

“You sleeping here?” You had already hung your towel up in the bathroom and crawled in bed again.

“Might as well. I’m already here, right?” He got in bed and pulled the blankets up to his waist. “Do you mind if I sleep naked?”

“I don’t think that after today you ever have to ask that question again.”

Harry chuckled. “Come here. Since we’re being touchy feely, I want to cuddle you in my sleep.”

You scooted closer and relaxed into his arms, your back against his warm chest. He swung a leg over your legs.

“Don’t get upset when my morning wood pokes you.”

“Harry! You’re terrible! Go to bed.”

“Y/N? Wake up. Your breakfast is gonna get cold.”

You opened your eyes to see that Harry had made omlettes with the leftovers from last night’s dinner.

“See, this is why I took the room with the view. I had tea in my room and still had time to make breakfast before you woke up. You missed a hell of a view.”

You smiled, and looked over at the clock and saw it wasn’t yet 9:00. “Dude, it’s still so early, I’m sure the view is just as nice now as whenever the hell you woke up.”

“You’re something else. Scoot over, would you?” He got in bed and handed you a plate then grabbed his from the bedside table.

When breakfast was done you put the dishes in the kitchen then brushed your teeth. You had yet to get dressed after last night’s shower.

“Hey, Y/N? I’m feeling very frustrated again.”

You laughed, “are you now?”

“Come here.” Harry patted the bed beside him.

When you came near enough, he placed a hand on the side of your face and pulled you in for a kiss. You laid on the bed next to him and he immediately brought a hand between your legs.

“Are you always so eager?” You smirked at him and gave him a quick peck on the lips.

“You have no idea. You better get used to it. Especially if you insist on walking around with nothing on.”

Any response you had dried in your throat. Your mind couldn’t focus on anything else other than the growing pleasure between your legs.

“Y/N. I want to try something with you.”

Harry looked at you nervously, but you only smiled. “Anything.”

“You’re going to regret having said that,” Harry said with a mischievous grin. He laid down on his stomach between your legs. “Still with me?”

“Yes.” You could barely breathe. The anticipation only made you more wet.

Harry wrapped his hands around your thighs and began to kiss your legs, making his way to your core. You let out a low, breathy moan. Even when he was teasing Harry was amazing. Without warning he licked your folds, causing you to cry out. He sucked on your clit before lapping up more of your arousal. He added his fingers and slowly pumped in and out of you, watching you squirm.

“Harry. Come here. I need to feel you.” You ran your hands through his hair.

Harry seemed to be ignoring you. He licked at your insides while he continued to pump his fingers. You caught how he was grinding his hips on the bed and felt a shiver run through your body.

“I’m so close,” you panted.

Harry moaned in response then brought his thumb up to rub your clit. His tongue was still lapping at your folds and licking your insides. Before long you felt yourself shaking as you climaxed.

When your legs had stopped trembling Harry climbed up your body. He kissed you deeply and pressed his body to yours, grinding against your hips. You were so slick he plunged into you without having to guide himself into you.

“You feel so good, Y/N. I’m never leaving this spot between your legs.”

As Harry pumped into you, you thrust to meet his hips. Deep and desperate moans filled the room along with the sounds of your bodies slapping together and the bed creaking.

“Fuck, I’m getting close.”

You wrapped your arms around him in response and dug your heels into his ass in an attempt to bury him deeper within you.

“Y/N, do I have to pull out?” Harry was panting, not slowing his pace at all.

“Inside. Always inside. Give me everything you got.”

With that, Harry came. He drained himself inside of you, his hips only slowing to a stop when he became too sensitive. Harry kissed you with a big smile on his face then laid down next to you. He rubbed your lower stomach—something you could get used to.

“You know, if we keep going raw like that we’re going to end up with an unplanned pregnancy. Especially with how forgetful you are with your meds.”

You smacked his chest playfully. “Hey! I am so much better now. It’s been ages since I’ve forgotten.”

Harry smiled and kissed you on your forehead.

“We should probably invest in condoms. I’m going to want to do this all the time. We could put them on an auto delivery.” You giggled and interlaced your fingers with Harry’s.

“Yeah. I’ll look into it as soon as we get back home.” Harry fell silent for a moment, lost in thought. “Or I could just get a vasectomy. Unless you want kids. Do you want kids?”

“Harry!” You burst out laughing. “We just started this…friends with benefits thing yesterday. Now you’re talking about vasectomies and children?”

“It’s a conversation we should have if we’re going to be sleeping together. Have you changed your mind since the last time we talked about kids?”

“You’re right,” you sighed. “Uh, no. I haven’t changed my mind.”

“Well, your whole ‘if it happens, it happens’ stance is not a solid plan.” He laughed before kissing your forehead. “Such a wishy-washy approach could make things difficult later if something unplanned does happen.”

“What would you do if we go back home, and a couple weeks from now I miss my period. What do you want? Could you raise a kid with your best friend?”

“Absolutely. We’d be great parents.”

“Be serious!” You laughed, causing Harry to laugh too. You cuddled up to him and rested your head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around you and gave you a loving squeeze.

“So, we actively take steps to make sure it doesn’t happen. Which may or may not include a vasectomy so I can keep enjoying you without a barrier between us.”

“Sounds like a solid plan.”

“But it still doesn’t address the unplanned. What’s our move then?”

“Um…then we have a child. We raise it with all the love we can.”

“I can handle that.”

Harry rested his head against yours and went quiet again. You were rubbing his arm when Harry blurts out, more to himself than to you, “what if we just get married now?”

“The fuck is going on in your head that that is where you ended up?”

“No, listen. I’ve been telling you for years your insurance is too expensive, whereas mine is quite reasonable. If we do become parents-to-be it would be so much cheaper and convenient to have you on my insurance plan.”

“So, I’ll join your insurance plan. Why do I have to marry you for that?”

“Because I don’t have the option to add best friends to my plan. Immediate family only like spouses.”

“Okay, well, if that happens Vegas is only a 6-hour drive from home. We’ll get married and I’ll get on your insurance plan. Deal?”

“Deal.” He snuggled you closer.

“You know, if this is your idea of pillow talk, I no longer wonder why your relationships haven’t worked out.”

Harry playfully shoved your face away onto your own pillow. “Brat.”

“Damn. Maybe we should get married. Think of what we’d save not paying for two mortgages.”

 “Now you’re talking. I’ll start planning the wedding.” Harry chuckled then winked at you.

“You should probably start planning for a future where I leave you and move across the country because you drive me insane.”

“So, what’s the plan for today?” You looked up at him expectantly.

“Shower first?”

“Fine. But this time you have to scrub my back!”

Part Two

[lon3rlife]

“I promise you that you’re not alone”

Rick Sanchez x Reader

Rick comforts you during a major depressive episode

I haven’t been doing very well for the past few weeks and writing these are one of my only sources of comfort rn tbh

It’s been getting bad again and you knew it. It’s been a struggle to even get out of bed to walk a few feet to your kitchen, your room was in shambles, and you couldn’t even bring yourself to shower. You just get like this and you know eventually you’ll get out of it, but even though you know it will eventually pass you feel so stuck in despair you feel like continuing this downward spiral until you reach rock bottom. As you lay in your bed staring at the bare wall hoping for this to all go away you get a text from Rick.

You don’t even have the energy to reach over to grab your phone, but after a few minutes you finally reach over to see what it has to say.

“Hey. Are you doing okay? I’m coming over. Do you need anything?“

Rick knows how you feel. He really does. He understands how you feel and doesn’t think of you any less. He knows when things get hard to handle and how he can make things just a little easier for you.

You don’t even have time to reply when a green light appears in your room and Rick walks in with a sympathetic smile and gets next to you in bed without saying anything.

You turn to your side and he gently tucks a strand of your messed up hair behind your ear and softly kisses your forehead.

You guys lay together for a while, nothing needed to be said. Rick waited till you felt like talking about it.

“I’ve been doing so shitty. I’m sorry.” You whisper out

“There’s nothing to be sorry about you’re doing the best you can, and I know how hard it is. Trust me. I know it’s not easy to come out of this but I’ll help you. Small steps. Little by little it will get better I promise.” He says pulling you a little closer to him as you hold on his hand softly playing with his fingers.

“I can help you clean up, and get you something to eat. Anything you want, you call the shots.” He says

“Can we please just lay like this for a while I just need to be with you right now.” You say, softly nuzzling yourself to be as close to him as possible.

“Of course baby, anything you need I’ll be here I promise .” He whispers as you close your eyes embracing him until you finally get to sleep.

You wake up the next morning, still feeling stuck in an endless loop. You lift your head off your pillow and look around your room noticing it’s cleaner than it was last night. Granted there’s still some dirty clothes on your chair, but it feels a lot less claustrophobic.

You can smell coffee being made from the kitchen, and you reluctantly make your way out of bed to try to get some food in you.

“Good morning sweetheart.” Rick smiles, a genuine smile filled with nothing but love.

“I-uh made pancakes and coffee, I think it will be good to eat an actual breakfast.”

He sits with you at the table eating with you, the food definitely making your brain feel less foggy.

“Thank you for cleaning my room. You didn’t have to do that you know.” You sleepily smile

He doesn’t even respond, just smiles and takes another bite of his breakfast

The food and small caffeine boost truly helped your head feel a bit clearer. You can’t remember the last time you ate a proper meal, but eating breakfast with the person you loved most definitely boosted your mood. It was something so small but meant so much to you, Rick as well.

After sitting at the dining table for a while just talking and enjoying each others company you guys make your way over to your couch just to lay together, in a new spot other than your bed for a small change of scenery.

“I love you so much you’re so strong.” Rick says running his fingers through your hair as you lay on his chest.

You feel genuine love for him, the love you never would have imagined you would ever feel for someone. You know that you have issues, but he does to, and that’s what makes him so perfect for you. You both understand each other in such complex ways you wouldn’t trade for the world.

[mind-empty-just-fictional-people]

Sick of Missing You

masterlist

summary: dean thought he had to let you go, but now he’s so sick of missing you

paring: dean winchester x female reader

rating: R for language

word count: 2.0k

warnings: language, (slightly) injured dean, cheating, i think that’s it?

gif source

“Dean?” you asked. “Is that you?” You turned on the living room light and, as you suspected, your boyfriend was sitting on the armchair in the corner of the room.

“Hey sweetheart,” he replied, his voice strained. “How was work?”

“Small talk, really?” you scoffed a little. “Dean, I can see your injuries from here, what happened to you?”

“Remember that job I told you about?” he laughed as he stood up, a pained wince leaving his lips. You hurried over to him, filled with worry.

“A ghost did this? How?” you asked. He had a deep cut on the side of his face, accompanied by an array of bruises. As he shrugged off his leather jacket, your eyes widened at the amount of blood seeping through the part of his shirt that covered his shoulder.

“A uh…A werewolf did this,” he said quietly. Somehow your eyes widened even more.

“Are you fucking with me Dean Winchester?”

He chuckled, “No, sweetheart, I’m not fucking with you. Werewolves are real, unfortunately.”

“I’m guessing they’re nothing like Jacob Black?” you muttered, eyes glued to his injuries.

“And Vampires aren’t like the Cullens, either.”

“Vampires!?” you practically shrieked. “You mean to tell me you’ve been fighting the fucking Salvatores this whole time and all you told me about was ghosts?”

“Salvatores?” He furrowed his brows.

“Vampire Diaries?” you replied, he nodded a little when he understood what you meant. “I guess that show wouldn’t be as fun to watch if you’d seen it firsthand.”

“Yeah, I’ve always been more into movies that don’t glamorize eating humans.” He smiled somewhat sarcastically. You rolled your eyes a little, before focusing back onto the blood he was sporting.

“So why the hell aren’t you at the hospital?” you asked him.

“Cause you were closer,” he replied, shrugging a little. He winced a little at the motion and your brows knitted with worry.

“Dean, I’m a veterinarian’s assistant, you shouldn’t have come to me for help?”

“Please?” he asked.

“Of course I’ll fucking help you!” you replied quickly. “Sit down at the kitchen table, I’ll go get the first aid kit.”

Keeping to your word, you stitched Dean up within the hour and let him shower as you found him some clean clothes to wear from all the times he’d stayed at your place.

“Thank you.” He smiled before he kissed you. “But, I can’t stay here tonight.”

“What?” you scoffed, smiling.

“I- I’m sorry but coming here tonight was a stupid mistake.”

“Dean, you’ve come here dozens of times this past year-and-a-half. What’re you talking about?”

“Look,” he sighed, “telling you about my job was a moment of stupid weakness, and if I stay with you now you have no idea the kind of danger you’ll be in.”

“So…?”

“So, this is goodbye.”

“What? No!” you exclaimed. You gripped his non-injured arm and forced him to look into your eyes. “This is not goodbye, Dean Winchester.”

“It has to be,” he whispered. Your eyes brimmed with tears as he stared down at you. “I’m sorry.” He started to walk to the door but you hurried and got between him and his destination.

“Dean Winchester I love you, please don’t go,” you exclaimed, tears running down your cheeks.

“I can’t let you get hurt because of me,” he whispered, eyes glued to the floor.

“What kind of fucking excuse is that!” you shouted. “Look at me you fucking coward!” He did as you asked, tears in his eyes now too. “If you walk out that door right now you will be hurting me so much more than anyone else ever could.”

“I’m sorry,” he said. Then he pushed past you and left. Out the door, out of your life. You locked the door behind him before trudging over to the couch and letting yourself cry.

You didn’t hear him, but before he left, Dean stood outside your door and whispered, “I love you too, Y/n.”

**

He never called. If he had you would’ve fucking answered, but he never even bothered.

He kept an eye on you, in a slightly-creepy way. (If it had been anyone else, it would’ve been very creepy. But this was Dean Winchester and his intentions were nothing but good; he just wanted to keep you safe.) He’d drive past your house or park outside where you worked to be sure you were still okay. To be sure one of the many monsters he’d pissed off hadn’t found you and taken revenge.

Once he watched as you carried two full bags of groceries into your home, and when one of the paper bags broke it took everything in him not to run and help. He told himself it was for the best, that he was keeping you safe and that’s all that mattered.

He hated himself every day he didn’t call you. He felt like such an asshole. He knew you loved him, but he didn’t say it back.

**

“Alright, I gotta ask,” Sam said one day when Dean had been staring at his laptop with an unusual amount of concentration. They had already finished the case and it was time for Dean to either get wasted and sleep with someone, or just go to bed. “What the hell are you looking at so intensely over there?” he laughed as he walked over and took a look at the screen. “Who’s she?”

“Nobody,” Dean mumbled as he closed the laptop, annoyed.

“Oh my god,” Sam exclaimed. “That’s Y/n!”

“Who?” Dean replied.

“That girl from Chicago you used to run off and stay with after we finished a case within a hundred mile radius of her house?”

“How…”

“I have eyes and ears and a working brain, that’s how.” He shook his head as he sat back down. Sam noticed the hurt in Dean’s eyes and realized there was a huge chance this girl had died and that’s why Dean hadn’t seen her in almost six months. “She okay?”

“Yeah, she- she’s fine. I think she’s seeing someone but I can’t tell if it’s serious or not.” Dean shrugged.

“So…you’re stalking your ex?”

Dean didn’t feel ashamed for ‘stalking’ you, even after Sam put it like that.

“Guess so,” Dean mumbled.

“Well what’s the new guy look like?” Sam asked, trying to be supportive of his brother’s obsession. “You’re sure they’re dating? Not just…friends?” Sam suggested. Dean took a moment to find the picture he had seen earlier on your FaceBook. When he found the page, he turned the laptop around and showed Sam, who cringe-clenched his teeth with sympathy. “Yeah, they’re dating.” The picture was of you and your new boyfriend kissing and the caption was a heart emoji. Clearly, you had moved on quicker than Dean.

**

Dean continued to keep an eye on you, but at more of a distance.

Until one evening, when he saw you his heart somehow broke more. You were stepping out of your car, wearing a beautiful, sexy red dress; but you were in tears. Balling your fucking eyes out, to be indelicate.

Before he could think twice, he was out of the Impala and hurrying toward you.

“Y/n!” Dean called out when he was a few yards away.

“Holy fuck!” you exclaimed loudly. Dean was the last person you expected to see right now. “Dean! What the hell?” You wiped your tears, trying to somewhat compose yourself.

“What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” He stood next to you now, and as he reached out to touch your shoulder you pulled your arm back.

You scoffed. “I just have the absolute worst taste in men, that’s all!” You brushed past him and he followed you to your door.

“Sweetheart please tell me what’s wrong? Why’re you crying?”

“Dean, come on! Are you really asking me that right now? This is nothing compared to the fucking tsunami of tears you caused me!”

“I’m sorry!”

“No, you aren’t, because if you were you would’ve called. You would’ve come back to me and apologized for taking my fucking heart out!” You walked into your house and slammed the door behind you, locking it before Dean could enter.

“I wanted to, Y/n, believe me!” he exclaimed against the door. “I wanted to call you every fucking day this past year. I thought I was protecting you but I’m fucking sick of this! I’m sick of sitting up at night and wishing I was with you. I’m sick of missing you, Y/n.”

“Why’d you come talk to me this time?” you asked, not opening the door.

“What do you mean?”

You opened the door so you could look him in the eyes. “I’ve seen that gorgeous Impala of yours parked outside the animal hospital and my house, you know.”

“Oh…” he mumbled, suddenly feeling very awkward. “Sorry.”

“Every time I saw it- her, sorry,” you corrected yourself, remembering Baby had a name. You saw the way Dean smiled at your words. “Every time I wished you’d just come and talk to me. So why did you this time?”

“I- When I saw you were crying I thought you were hurt.” He watched as you opened the door enough so he could walk in.

“The guy I’ve been seeing for the past eight months just slept with my co-worker,” you told him as he walked in. “I just walked in on them.”

“Oh my god, Y/n I’m so sorry!” he exclaimed.

“Don’t be,” you scoffed a little. “I didn’t love him.” You looked up into Dean’s bright green eyes as yours began to fill with tears again. “The man I really, truly, completely loved walked out on me after I told him.”

“Sweetheart-”

“Dean I want nothing more than to hug you and kiss you and let you tell me how much you care about me but I know it’s all a fucking lie. I know you’re just gonna walk out again,” you said. “If you need a place to stay tonight you can have the couch.” You walked toward the living room. “Fun fact, it’s the same couch I was glued to and crying on for about three days after you left. Got a pink slip at work and everything, so thanks for that,” you said sarcastically.

“I’m sorry, Y/n, I’m so fucking sorry!” Dean exclaimed, following you. “Please believe me; I was only trying to keep you safe! I didn’t want you to get hurt!”

“Hurt? Dean I told you that night you would be hurting me by leaving and you left anyway!” You turned back to face him, now both standing in the living room. There was a long pause as Dean thought of what he could possibly say to make you understand. To turn ‘man I loved’ into ‘man I love’. “So what’s different now? Why are you suddenly asking to be a part of my life again?”

“Because I’m so fucking sick of missing you. I’m so sick of this gut wrenching feeling I get every time I hear your name. I’m sick of not being able to call you when I want to hear your voice. I’m sick of missing you, Y/n. And I know it’s selfish as fuck to come back here, because I could very well be putting you in danger, but I’m just so sick of missing you.” Tears were streaming down Dean’s cheeks as he poured his heart out to you; hoping, praying you’d give him a second chance.

“Is that really the reason? The only reason you left was because you didn’t want a monster to follow you back here?” you asked, he nodded.

“Yes, yes Y/n, that’s the one and only reason.”

“Okay,” you whispered, his eyes widened. “Don’t look so suprised,” you let out a little laugh, “I still fucking love you, even though you may be an idiot.”

“You- You still love me?” he asked, you just smiled. “I love you, Y/n. I- I loved you back then but I- I just couldn’t say it.”

You reached your arms around his neck and quickly pulled him down into a deep kiss. He smiled against your mouth and you mirrored his expression.

“For the record,” you whispered when you pulled away. “I’m sick of missing you too.”

[lacedinweb22]

Beginnings of Someone Else ⋆｡𖦹 Vampire Next Door ♱✮♱ Miguel O'Hara x reader (Ch.9) prev part

⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Miguel sleeps beside you, facing you. His breathing is soft, warm on your skin. You never imagined you’d be this close to him. 

You savor it

… until you feel the pressure on your bladder. 

You slowly pull the blankets off of you and head to the bathroom on your tiptoes.

After you flush, you see a drop of crimson beside the toilet. You crouch down, investigating.

There’s a bigger puddle in the corner, at the base of the bathtub. 

It’s… blood. Has to be. Dark, dried up blood. 

You rush to his bedroom, then softly tap his shoulder. 

“Mig, Miguel,” you whisper.

He wakes up, “What? What’s wrong?” He stands up suddenly, looking around, the tinge of crimson in his eyes brighter, canines sharper, moving perfectly fast enough to go unnoticed. 

“Jesus, calm down! It’s just a– in the bathroom, there’s… on the floor… it looks like–”

“What? What looks like what?” He’s panicked, trying to read your face.

You pull him out of his room, and push him down the hall and to the bathroom.

You point at the bathroom floor.

“There. Mig, what the fuck is that?”

“Oh. Oh. That’s– I cut myself shaving.”

He’s lying. 

“What? Mig. You shave on the toilet?”

“I was in a rush for work a few days ago, and I uhh shaved in the shower, then I cut myself, you know, started bleeding, and got out. It’s just a little blood, Y/N,” he shrugs, nonchalantly.

He crouches down to grab disinfectant spray from the cabinet under the sink. You watch him clean the puddle of blood. You aren’t buying it. It freaks you out. 

You start to think about the nightmares, the screams; maybe they were a warning, and maybe the nightmares were real. Maybe Miguel isn’t the person he was in university. Maybe he’s a serial killer, or a druglord, I mean he’s rich. Maybe he’s just a man, a cold-hearted man who's fooled you into thinking differently. Maybe you were right to lose trust in everything and everyone you’ve ever known. Maybe you should’ve left this dream in the past, along with everything else.

Your heart is in your stomach, but you don’t want him to see that, so you mutter, “Think I’m gonna get going.” 

He turns up at you from his cleaning, and looks at you confusedly, “What? I was gonna make us breakfast.” 

He stands up slowly, now towering over you, and the naivety that’s been blinding you is lifted; you now see him as the threatening, huge, manly guy you should have seen him as this whole time. How could you trust him? After everything…

“No, it’s fine, Miguel. I agreed to get coffee with a friend, and umm I also gotta check up on the maintenance work. I have a super busy day, so umm I’ll be heading out.”

He looks at you, head tilted, eyebrows scrunched, “Okay… okay. I’ll catch you later then.”

You leave his apartment, and lock your door. 

****

Ash’s jaw drops. 

“Y/N, you know what this means, right? He’s a serial killer,”

You scoff but there’s truth in her words.

“Or even worse, 

he’s sleeping with someone,” she says before sipping her coffee.

“I hate you. I really do. This is serious.”

“And I’m being serious! Blood? Could be intense BDSM. That or he’s a serial killer,” she shrugs, lightly. 

“God, Ash, so helpful. Those are two completely different possibilities. How am I supposed to figure out which one he is? No, no, he told me he wasn’t sleeping with anyone. I have to trust at least that.” 

“Y/N. Blood. You still trust that man? I mean, the noises at night, a puddle of blood on his bathroom floor. Sex addict or serial killer. You choose.”

“Enough with the sex. God, it makes me ill to think he could be sleeping with someone, right there in front of me. Even worse, he could be killing right in front of me, and I’ve been too oblivious to even notice.”

“I wouldn’t blame myself. You read too much into everything. It’s not your job to investigate him, or play detective. I would just keep my distance.”

“But he’s not just my neighbor. He’s… he’s Miguel. You remember back then, how much–”

“God, yes. How could I forget? I remember how heartbroken you were when Kat Nilson walked with him after class, or when he didn’t write anything on your midterm paper. I know what he meant to you, or what he means to you. I don’t want you to get hurt, Y/N. This is a man, and right now, we don’t know if he’s a serial slut or a serial killer, so I think you should keep your distance.”

You sigh. Your stomach hurts. Maybe the blood on your fire escape and the blood in his bathroom were just the beginnings of a monster, one with a double life, someone else. 

***

✧❅ Next chapter here

[1000roughdrafts]

hi! sorry i thought of another. don’t hate me! but could i please request reader and either sam or dean (writer’s choice!) where they’re newly together with reader and they’re asleep spooning and reader gets her period overnight and when they wake up it turns out they ruined both their pants and reader is feeling all embarrassed and upset but sam/dean just hugs them and is like "please, of all the blood, guts, and gore i’ve ever had on me, this is nothing!" and it’s all fluffy and sweet even though the brother is kind of out of their depth with the situation? (sorry i woke up to an unexpected visit from aunt flo this morning and i’m dying for fluff lol)

I’m so sorry it took me so long to get this out, Anon.

Warnings: mention of menstruation and blood, fluff

Word count: 789: a cute little, short one this time.

The floor creaks under Y/N’s foot as she tiptoes to grab her bag next to the door of his room. "Shit,” she whispers under her breath, scrunching her face as she slows her movements even more. All she wants to do is get herself cleaned up before her boyfriend of only three freaking months wakes up and discovers the blood on her pants.

“Y/N?” Dean’s voice cracks when he calls out for her in his half-sleeping state, “what’re you doin'? What time is it?” he asks, snapping out of it. 

“Uh,” she freezes, the air conditioning of the bunker roars, and she’s thankful it fills in for her silence, “a little after four,” she says in a whisper, evading the first question. 

“In the morning?” he yawns, slowly shimmying his way to sit at the edge of the bed. 

She contemplates just telling him what’s going on, but she has no idea yet how she’d respond, and right now, she just couldn’t possibly bear the embarrassment that would come if he’s the kind of guy that’s grossed out by that. So, she lies, “yeah, but you go back to bed, love. I’m okay.” 

There’s a click as the lamp turns on, a yellow light filling the room just as he lets out a groan. Dean brings his body to an upright position, “not if you’re up this early, you’re not,” he jokes, but his laughter is replaced with nerves when she doesn’t even smile. “Seriously, you okay?” he asks, wide eyes dropping down to the bag she holds at her waist. 

“Uh, I… it-” she stumbles over her words because how the Hell is she going to explain to her new boyfriend that she was trying to get a quick shower to wash off the period blood’s surprise visit before he woke up? 

He tosses the blankets off of his lap, planting his feet firmly on the cold, hardwood floor. Y/N’s face fills with a warm, deep red when she notices the blood stain on the crotch of Dean’s pants. She should have known that could happen. They had their most peaceful sleep yet, and she remembers waking up in the same little spoon position she fell asleep in.

She lets the bag fall as her hands fly to her face, “ugh,” she groans before pressing them tighter, the contrast of cold hands on her hot face feeling like the light at the end of the tunnel. She mumbles something into her hands. 

“What?” he says, “sorry, I didn’t understand what you said.” 

Dropping her hands, she closes her eyes and swallows hard, “I got my period while we were sleeping,” she says quickly. She dreads his reaction but opens her eyes slowly. 

“Oh!” he sighs, eyes going back to the bag to see a tampon sticking out of the side of it, “that’s what this is about? Jesus, Y/N! You scared me. I thought you were trying to jump ship or something,” he says, the bed squeaking as he lifts himself off of it. He takes a few careful steps towards her before placing his hands on the back of her hips.  

“Wait,” she leans back against his hands, “you thought I was trying to sneak out?” 

He raises his eyebrows with a small shake of his head, “well, what else was I supposed to think?” 

She lets her anxiety out in a shaky laugh, “I - no, I just wanted to take a shower and change my clothes,” she starts, but pulls away to point at his pants, “but, ugh, I can’t believe it got on you, too! I’m so sorry, Dean. If I had known it was coming, I could have prepared better. I’ll buy you a new pair of pajama pants, though,” she raises her hands to cover her face again, but he grabs them by the wrists and pulls him into his chest. 

“No, Y/N, it’s okay! They’re just pants,” he says, looking intently into her eyes, “please, of all the blood, guts, and gore I’ve ever had on me, this is nothing!” he smiles, bringing her hands up to his lips to kiss each one before planting a kiss on her forehead. “Come on,” he says, releasing her from his grip, “I’ll take you to the bathroom and you can shower or take a bath, whatever you need to do, I’ll get you some tea if you want, our clothes in the wash, and a towel in the dryer,” he says with a big, sleepy smile. 

She loses herself in his eyes, the corners of her lips turn down out of pure awe and appreciation for how he’s responding with such sensitivity. "You're truly amazing, Dean. How did I get so lucky?"

"I think I'm the lucky one here." Dean smiles, going in for another kiss. “I’m gonna get you that tea.” 

If you liked my story, please remember to heart, comment or reblog. Or if you'd like, you can add yourself to a tag list here if you wish :) Thank you for reading!! :)

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[cuttergauthier]

Secret boyfriend

female Smith reader x Ryan Leonard

Warning: injury, soft Ryan, fluff 

word count: 1.3k

let me know what you guys think🤍

let me know if you guys want me to do an insta edit of them soft launching their relationship!

I love Boston College, the only thing that sucks is doing homework, studying and just like home I hate when it rains and I have to walk. We are currently in the middle of October, and we are having a rainstorm. I've been here since the end of August and it hasn't rained this much.

Usually my brother would come and drive me to my dorm room since we both live in the same building but he was currently out in the city with two of his teammates Drew and Gabe, since they wanted to go see the bruins play in their home opener and they decided to spend the night since all 3 of them only had late classes tomorrow along with a night practice.

I didn’t bring an umbrella and even though it was raining pretty bad, a lot of students were making a run for it either back to their cars or dorms.

I pulled the hood of my hoodie over my head and started walking fast to my dorm.

I was almost there when another student ran right into me making my fall on my knees on the sidewalk.

I grunted my knee hurt like a bitch. The student just yelled sorry and continued to run. He didn't even ask if I needed any help.

I pulled myself up and looked at my knee. It was bleeding. I groaned and started limping the rest of the way since it hurt too much.

Once i got to the building I opened the door and made my way up those steps and to my room. I am thankfully living in a single dorm room and it also has a small bathroom, i tend to stay up late to study sometimes, so being alone means I never have to worry about keeping my roommate up with the lights.

I unlocked my room and walked in, I dropped my bag on the bed and made my way to the bathroom to see if I had anything to clean my knee. I couldn’t find anything. I looked at myself in the mirror, I was soaking wet. I decided to take a quick shower and I could ask someone if they had anything to help me clean my knee after.

I went to my dresser and grabbed my bc hoodie and a pair of black gym shorts before making my way back to the bathroom to shower.

Once I was done my knee still stings. I got dressed and put on some shoes and made my way to the dorm next to mine. I knocked on the door and Jenna answered she’s the first person i met when i moved here, she’s really sweet.

“Hey Y/n, everything okay?” She asked

“Yeah, sorry but would you have anything to clean wounds?” I ask

She pouted and shocked her head.

“No i don’t i’m sorry”

I smile weakly.

“All good, don’t worry about it”

I made my way back to my dorm room and texted my brother, he’s a hockey player so I hoped he might have something in his room. He gave me a key when we first got to bc in case of an emergency so I could still get in.

Me

Hey, do you by any chance have anything to clean wounds in your room?

Will

Yeah, I should have something in the bathroom if not Ryan probably does. Everything okay?

Me

Yeah, I tripped in the rain earlier. Now my knee is bleeding but I don't have anything to clean it with. Then i remembered that you gave me a key incase of emergency & you’re a hockey player so i figured you might have something!😂

Will

True, go check Ryan should be there! Just tell him what happened and he’ll help you!

Me

Thanks, I love you! Have fun at the game ❤️

Will

Love you too & we will❤️

I made my way to my brother and Ryan’s room & hoped they did have some stuff. My knee is really bothering me. I didn’t really want Ryan to know, but he would have found out eventually.

I’ve known Ryan for a few years, since the untdp days, he and my brother were teammates. We started dating a month before the NHL draft but we wanted to keep it on the down low to make sure we would work out since he and my brother are teammates but also best friends, we didn’t want to make it awkward. Will still doesn’t know only both of our parents do, I’m surprised Will hasn’t figured it out yet.

Once I got there I knocked on the door. A few seconds later Ryan opened up. He looked good, he was wearing some sweatpants and his untdp hoodie.

“Hey, did you forget that your brother went to the Bruins game? Or are you here to hang out with your amazing boyfriend” He asked, confused as to why I was there, since I told him I wanted to study tonight.

“No um, Will said you might have stuff to clean wounds, so i came by to check” i said nervously.

“We probably do, come in.” He said. I walked in beside him and followed him to the bathroom.

“Did you hurt yourself?” He asked, concerned.

“It was raining pretty bad when I got out of class and I had to walk back here, so I was trying to rush and then some student ran right into me, and I ended up falling down, scraping my knee,” I said.

“You should have called me, I would have come by to pick you up” he said, giving me a quick forehead kiss before He took the stuff out of the cabinet and set it down before looking back at me.

“Come here, let me take a look." He said, smiling softly. I jumped up and sat down on the counter without hurting my knee worse.

Ryan looked at my knee.

“It’s not too bad” he said, he grabbed some Cotton balls and put some rubbing alcohol on.

“This is probably going to sting,” he said before cleaning my knee with it.

I bit my lip and turned around so he would see that I had tears in my eyes. I wasn’t as tough as my brother or the rest of them.

Once he was done he put on a bandaid.

“They're all done,” he said softly.

I looked up at him to see he was already looking at me. He gave me a quick kiss on the lips.

“Thank you, i could have done it myself” i said smiling softly

“I saw how you turned your head so i wouldn’t see the tears in your eyes yn, it was probably better i did it since it probably would have taken you longer” he said and i looked at him embarrassed.

“Right, um sorry” I said awkwardly, I hate that I embarrassed myself in front of him.

“Hey you don’t need to be embarrassed about that, it’s just you and I here, I'm not going to make fun of you, I love you too much” he said smiling.

“Thanks Ry, I love you too,” I said smiling back.

He moved away so I could get down from the counter. He put the stuff away and we went back to the room.

“I was just about to put on a movie, do you want to stay a while?” He asked

“Sounds good to me, I don't feel like studying anymore” I said smiling. He chuckled.

He laid down on his bed and pulled me down with him. He pulled me closer to him and wrapped his arm around my waist. He kissed the back of my head and turned on a movie.

A few minutes later I was trying to keep my eyes open but I was losing, it didn’t take long for Ryan to notice. His thumb rubs soft circles on my waist.

“Go to sleep beautiful, i’ll be here when you wake up” he whispered.

“Love you” i whispered softly

“Love you too beautiful” he placed a soft kiss behind my ear, a few seconds later i fell asleep.

[lemonlyman-dotcom]

getting past the wounds of love “What are you smiling about?” Paul asks with a raised eyebrow in the rear view mirror. “Got a text from Officer Hotstuff?”

“Shut up,” TK says with a roll of his eyes as Paul and Marjan snicker in the front seat.

“Come on, Paul, it’s not even like that.”

“Oh yeah?” Paul teases as he puts the car in gear. “It looked pretty ‘like that’ the other night. You shoulda seen them, Marj. TK was grinding on that sweet, straitlaced boy so hard I thought we’d have to use the jaws of life to separate them. Officer Dreamboat was looking at TK with those giant heart eyes. He’s already in love.”

“Oh my god,” TK whines. “He is not. We’re not even dating. We’re just …hanging out”

“Sure, whatever you say dude. I mean, I’ve never dry humped someone I’m ‘hanging out’ with in the middle of a club, but good for you I guess.”

love in a series of bursts & inches Carlos has always seen him, flaws and all, as a whole person. He remembers his life back in New York, when he was fresh out of rehab and trying to figure out the kind of person he wanted to be now that he was sober. He was clean but he felt haggard and beaten down, his mind was warped, full of voices telling him he’d burned all his bridges, that he’d ruined any chance of a fulfilling life, of ever finding people who wanted to share in his life. He was unlovable, unreliable and most certainly undatable.

He thought he’d left any chance he had at a future back in that drug den, on a dirty slab of cardboard littered with discarded rubber ties and dirty needles. […]

But when he met Carlos on the side of a highway under glistening streetlights with a steady stream of sideways rain pelting their faces, he didn’t see TK as broken. Carlos didn’t look at him, clad in his hoodies, walls built up a mile high, bristling at the mere thought of someone getting close enough to hurt him, and see him as damaged goods. He saw him for the whole person he was, and everything he could be.

Why Do You Think I Ran Carlos has cataloged all of TK’s laughs; his delighted giggle, the small under-his-breath snort when he’s laughing at his own joke, the soft little gasping chuckle that only comes out during sex. The laugh TK lets out right now is Carlos’s favorite, the one where he scrunches his eyes and shows his teeth. The one he reserves just for Carlos.

Call Me If You Get Lost “TK? Carlos?” she says behind gritted teeth, “What the hell?”

“Hey Nance,” Carlos says as TK pushes past her into the room. A frantic movement to his left captures his attention, and he turns to see Mateo flailing around on the floor, pulling his boxers out from under the nightstand.

“What is this?” TK cries at the same time Nancy swings around and shrieks.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?”

“Whoa…” Carlos reacts as he enters the room.

“What is he doing here?” TK asks with a finger pointing in Mateo’s direction, he feels like he’s going into shock himself.

“It’s not what it looks like!” Nancy’s still shouting. She rounds the bed and grabs a sweater from a chair, hastily pulling it over her head.

“It looks an awful lot like you’re having a clandestine affair with Mateo,” Carlos helpfully chimes in. He points to the unmade bed, “Exhibit A!”

Carlos turns to TK with a small smug smile and whispers, “See, I told you I was good at this.”

“Damn, babe,” TK preens, “Hot and smart. You really should take the detective’s exam. You would totally crush it.”

Como Te Quiero Yo (how I love you) On the morning of the third day of their honeymoon, TK is now regretting the fact that their parents put them up in the honeymoon suite. While it is nice […] all the walls are clear glass. Sexy last night when TK tempted Carlos into the shower. Not so much right now, when Carlos has a clear straight view of him where he’s sitting, hunched over in pain on the toilet.

“TK?” He calls from the bedroom, face scrunched in concern. His voice comes muffled through the glass walls, “Babe, are you okay?”

“Don’t look at me!”

“Okay, I mean… It’s kind of hard not to.”

“Carlos, I swear to god.” TK shouts, his own voice echoing off the tiles. He tells himself it’s to be heard, but his volume is just as much fueled by embarrassed desperation.

“Okay,” Carlos says. And if TK didn’t know any better, he might detect a hint of amusement in his voice. But he knows his husband isn’t a stupid man. He doesn’t have a death wish. So there is no laughter in this hotel room.

“Umm, what do you want me to do?” Carlos asks again, eyes steadily trained on the wall on the other side of the room.

—and—

“I’m sorry you’re sick, babe,” Carlos says, gently guiding him towards the bed. When TK whines in response he says, “and I’m sorry I laughed at you this morning.”

“Mean.”

“I’m always gonna laugh when you get the gurgle guts.”

“Wow, Carlos,” he whines, laying back on the bed and covering his face with a hand. “You should have included that in your vows. ‘I vow to be the caretaker of your wild heart... And to laugh at you when you’re dying from dysentery.’”

“What is this, the Oregon Trail?”

“Ahh! Carlos!”

All Your Colors Make Me Feel Alive “Carlos it’s,” TK stutters, “it’s okay now. I don’t feel that way now. But it’s always gonna be there. I might feel that way again.” He stops and bites his lip, runs a hand across his eyes. “I have a better support system now. I have Marj and Nance, I have you. I have resources. But that doesn’t mean it won’t ever get that bad again.”

Carlos nods, rubbing the back of TK’s head but not attempting to interrupt.

“I don’t expect you to wanna stick around, to want to deal with that.”

“Baby,” Carlos says quietly, fighting to keep his voice even, “what do you mean?”

“I know—” TK sniffs, running a sleeve-covered hand over his face, “I know I’m not easy.”

“I don’t need you to be easy, TK,” he puts a hand under TK’s chin to tilt his head up. Needs to be sure he hears this. “Hey, look at me.” When TK lifts his eyes slightly to make eye contact he continues. “I just need you to be alive. Okay, baby? Whatever you need.”

Thank you for the tags @filet-o-feelings @bonheur-cafe @sznofthesticks @freneticfloetry @vineofroses @ladytessa74 and pretending like @liminalmemories21 tagged me 🥰

Tagging @nancygillianmvp @chicgeekgirl89 @welcometololaland @carlos-in-glasses @thisbuildinghasfeelings @paperstorm @thebumblecee @reyesstrand @lightningboltreader @never-blooms @decafdino @your-catfish-friend @literateowl @tinyluminaryzombie @herefortarlos @doublel27 @strandnreyes @chaotictarlos and OPEN TAG 🏷️

[massivedrickhead]

hiii if you’re still accepting prompt requests could you please do 14 or 44 from that prompt list? ty!!! really love all your work btw xx

I couldn't think of anything for 44, so I went with 14 🥰Thank you for sending it!

14. “I’ll carry you.”

Prompt taken from here

Read on AO3

-

“Okay,” Beca said, returning to the living room holding a baby monitor. “I think she’s down for the night. You should go to bed, Chlo’, you look exhausted.”

Chloe gave a grunt from her spot on the sofa. “I can’t,” she said, stifling a yawn. “There’s still loads to do. I didn’t get, like, any housework or anything done today.”

“I can sort all that,” Beca said. “Go lie down, you were up with her all night, and I know you didn’t get a chance to nap today either.”

“You’ve been at work all day,” Chloe said.

“And so have you,” Beca countered. “And I’m under no illusion who has the harder job.” She sat down on the sofa beside Chloe. “You know when you asked to be a stay-at-home Mom, I didn’t agree because I thought it would mean I’d get out of doing chores and come home to dinner on the table, right?”

“I had all these ideas about what it would be like,” Chloe said. “I thought everything would be perfect and I’d have time to clean and cook, and take her out to the park, and meet up with other Moms and I… I didn’t even get to shower today. I had to hold her while I brushed my teeth because she wouldn’t stop crying.”

“You took care of our daughter on your own all day,” Beca said. “Right now, that’s all you need to focus on. You’re an amazing Mom and an amazing wife.” She kissed Chloe on the top of the head. “And we’re a team, remember? I earn the money, you keep our kid alive when I’m out of the house, and the rest we can do together.”

Chloe laughed and shook her head slightly. “My Mom made it look so easy growing up. Dad brought home the paycheck, and she did everything else.”

“Things were different then,” Beca said. “She did all that because she thought she had to. And just because it’s hard for you it doesn’t mean you’re bad at it. I certainly couldn’t do it all on my own. Plus, you know, we’re both super new at this. It’ll get easier. And, if it doesn’t, you just need to tell me and we can figure it out.”

“I love you,” Chloe said, resting her head on Beca’s shoulder.

“I love you, too,” Beca said. “Now, are you gonna go to bed?”

“I honestly don’t think I can move,” Chloe said, groaning dramatically as she flopped back onto the couch. “I’m so tired my legs have stopped working.”

Beca shrugged. “I’ll carry you.”

Chloe laughed. “Yeah right,” she said.

“You don’t think I can?”

“I’m hardly the skinniest I’ve ever been,” Chloe replied. 

“Like that’s gonna stop me,” she said, waving her off. She slid her arm beneath the crook of Chloe’s knees and put the other arm around her back.

“Oh my god, Beca, don’t!” Chloe squealed, throwing her arms around Beca as she was lifted into the air. “Beca! You’re going to put your back out or something!”

“Please,” Beca said, trying to hide any sound of exertion from her voice. “I bench more than this.”

“You’ve never set foot in a gym in your life,” Chleo said, clinging onto her wife as Beca carried her down the hall towards their bedroom.

“And I clearly don’t need to,” Beca said, dropping Chloe onto the bed, grinning triumphantly. “I’m super strong.”

“I can’t believe you just carried me,” Chloe said, beginning to laugh as Beca flexed in front of her. 

“You must be pretty turned on right now, huh?”

“You’re an idiot,” Chloe laughed. 

“Maybe so,” Beca said, climbing onto the bed beside her. “But I’m your idiot.”

They shared a kiss before Beca pulled away in order to change into her pyjamas. 

“I thought you were going to do the housework?” Chloe asked, eyebrows raised.

“Well I was,” Beca said. “But I think I just hurt my back somehow.”

Chloe swatted her on the arm.

“Ow,” Beca laughed. “I’m kidding. I’ll get right on it.” She kissed Chloe again and left her pyjamas folded on top of the bed. “I’ve got the baby monitor with me. If she cries, I’ll get her, okay?”

“You’re too good to me, Beca Mitchell.”

Beca shrugged. “It’s what you deserve. Now get some sleep.”

“Yes ma’am.” 

It didn’t take Beca long to tackle the dishes and give the countertops a clean. She figured she would tackle hoovering on Saturday, it was too risky to do now while their daughter was sleeping. She poked her head through the door to see their six-month-old still fast asleep, and she couldn’t help but smile. 

She crept out of the nursery, returned to her bedroom, and found her wife asleep in the exact same position. She couldn’t help but smile harder.

[krylng--cborlesversion]

we will meet again. chapter 2

ahh chapter two! TW: abuse, sexual assault, mentions of rape, imagery, torture, death, smut.

previous <<>>next

it has been a week since you and alastor murdered the man who touched his mom without consent. it kept you up some nights, but you had to tell yourself he deserved it. he was a pig after all. but the only thing you could think about was when you took the knife and just cut him open. and the heart that exploded…and your laugh. you laughed like a maniac. and by alastor’s stare, you knew he needed your help with another murder. you didnt know for sure, if he would ever ask. but if he did, you were ready. you were ready for anything.

you told Jane about the murder. all the bloody, gorey, details. she promised to not tell a soul. you trusted Jane. she was your best friend! she was your only friend. you didn’t know what alastor was to you, but you felt like you were just an assistant.

you took another shower for the second time that day. Jane asked you what was wrong, but you felt like the blood was still on you.

you and jane were having another sleep over that night. you would gossip about more things that were going on. you even told her about your relationship with alastor. his assistant. but you had no idea if he liked you.

“soo~ do you like alastor? do you think he likes you back?!” she squealed. you sighed. “honestly, i don’t know. he’s cute… no, he’s hot. like the way he helped me up and made me wrap my legs around his waist when he was licking my bloo- that’s not the point! it’s just i don’t know how to feel after i found out he was a serial killer. A FUCKING SERIAL KILLER!” you didn’t tell her that you found that kind of hot. but then again, you had weird taste in men. like, really weird. you had crushes on FICTIONAL men. you wished they were real, but let’s face it! they’re not!! they never will be!!

“uhh, are you alright?” jane checked your forehead to see if you had a fever. “you don’t have a fever, but are you okay?”

”yeah, i’m alright. i just wish he knew that i only kissed him back because i was tipsy. he was probably drunk because he didn’t even remember!”

”you know, i read some magazines on romance, and he probably pretended to forget because it was awkward~”

“are you trying to say that… he actually meant to kiss me and give me hickeys?” you sigh into your hands. “i just wish he was here so i could talk to him about this.”

“you know where he lives, right? it’s not a far walk.” she smiled, helping her get up and off her bed.

“i cant just go there for no reason! he will think i’m weird!” you whined, not stopping jane who was already out the door and pulling you. “seriousllyyy!? he is going to think i’m obsessed!” you think about the fact that you would see him again. you knew you had something to talk about now. Jane waved as you left alone.

you made it to his house. you knocked on the door, and Marie opened the door and hugged you. “what are you doing here this late?” she motions you to come in. “are you hungry?” you shake your head. “i’m here to see your son.” she smiles sweetly at you. “you know where his room is.”

you make your way up the stairs and take a deep breath in before knocking a few times. Alastor opens the door, shirtless with a towel wrapped around his hips.

“oh my god, im so sorry! i just had to talk to you…” you rub your arm.

“oh, then come in.” he says, motioning for you to enter his room. “are you sure? your like… half naked.”

“i can trust you… right?” you walk in when he says that. he closed the door and you sat on his bed.

“i have been thinking about…the murder.” you come clean.

“so, are you having fantasies about killing more people too?” his pupils dilated and he gave you a huge smile. “actually… yes.” you sigh. “a lot more than i should. but every time someone annoying me… i have those fantasies. i know, it’s bad… but i feel like i can’t control them.” you massage your head. “i’ve been having them too. and, i have a list of people to kill.”

you stare at him, wide eyed. “you have a whole list? how many people do you want to murder?” you laugh a bit, and he joins you on his bed. “why wouldn’t i? there’s so many people who… deserve this pain and torture. why not let them feel it? you remember that time you stabbed me? it didn’t hurt, but… it turned me on.”

you blush. did he really remember that night? and it turned him on? so that’s why he did it. all because you tried to defend yourself. you were proud that you did, and he also spared your life. you wonder if he would ever hurt someone you love.

“would you ever hurt someone i love?” you say.

“definitely not your mother, she’s very sweet. please tell her thank you for her jambalaya that she cooked for us that night.” he smiles. “i will. i know my moms jambalaya isn’t as good as your moms. but my father?”

“what’s he like?” he asked, almost leaning in closer. “well… he has some good qualities i guess. he… he hits us some times. m-mostly my mom when she doesn’t cook fast enough or clean up after him. but he also hits me… when my mom is out of town. and when she’s out of town… he…he…makes me strip and he watches me…then he touches me, and he…” you can’t help but cry. you couldn’t finish that sentence, it was just too hard. “my mom wants a divorce, but… he beats her when she says it, and it’s not her decision. it’s my fathers.”

you could see an angry look in alastor’s eyes as he rubs your back squeezes you tightly. he holds your chin to meet his gaze. he wipes your tears. “we will kill him. tomorrow.” you find yourself yawning as your head meets his shoulder. he kisses your head, and you blush a little bit, but he doesn’t notice. “you should probably stay here. and sleep. your mom is out of town right now, right?”

“yeah my dad is home alone… with… JANE!”

you stand up quickly, running down the stairs as alastor follows. he runs with you all the way to your house. Jane is sitting on the stairs. “oh hey, i was waiting for you!” you hug her.

“we’re staying at alastor’s.” alastor sighs, but then you three walk to his house again.

“i mean, im glad we’re not there anymore. i would usually wake up to him laying with me, naked. he stripped me in my sleep too. i…. wonder what he did when i was asleep. my mom tried to stop him. but…” Jane gives you a side hug.

“it’s going to be alright. you have us, and he can’t get you in his house.” Jane looks at alastor, studying him to make sure he’s good enough for his best friend. “also, nice clothes.” she says to alastor. he’s still shirtless and he’s wearing pants.

“oh shit, i guess i forgot.”

you walk inside of his house. Marie is most likely asleep. he leads you both to his room. you and jane sit on his bed as she scans his room with her eyes before setting a hand on her shoulder. “where do we sleep?” she asked alastor. alastor’s bed was a king size, but she wanted to ask.

“anywhere on the bed, but not close to me. you can lay by her, but you two better keep your distance from me.” Alastor is on the left side, you are in the middle, and Jane is on the right. Jane is already in her pajamas, but you are still in your dress. “i dont have my pajamas.” you are surprised when alastor hands you one of his shirts. “you can wear this, i suppose. but please give it back tomorrow morning, dear.”

you changed into his shirt, and it was very comfortable. you still had your panties on though. you and jane slept close to each other, it wasn’t awkward because you were best friends and you practically grew up together. alastor slept far away from them.

alastor broke his own rule. the next morning, you opened your eyes, jane’s side was empty. strong arms were wrapped around you. you and alastor were on your sides, he had one arm on top of you, and the other underneath of you, so you couldn’t move away. his lips were so close to your neck. you felt his breath go down your neck. you blushed hard. your hand was on top of his hand, which was on your stomach. Jane walked in, in her dress from yesterday since she didn’t bring any other clothes.

“AWWW!” she squealed, waking alastor up. “that is so CUTE~~!”

he looked at your body, in his arms.

he smiled, but got up anyway. you changed back into your dress and gave him his shirt back. he grabbed your chin and brought your ear to his lips.

“did you sleep well darling~?” he smiles when you blush. “well, you must have grabbed me when you were asleep.” you say, defending yourself. “oh dear, i was wide awake. you were trembling, and it was making it hard to sleep. when i held you, you stopped, so it worked out.”

you and jane would head home, even though your mom wasn’t going to come back for a few more days. just a few more days in Hell with your “father.” he didn’t deserve to be a father. Jane was going home, so you were alone with… him.

“shall i walk you home?” he asked. he watched you gulp and he took your hand in his. he walked you home.

you never actually told him that you were going to be alone home with your father. he looked in your eyes before walking back. you walked in, to find your father naked. “YOU LITTLE BITCH!” he struck you hard with his belt over your face. you fell to your knees and you stared at the floor. “LEAVING ME? IM GOING TO MAKE YOU FUCKING REGRET IT!” he tore off a sleeve from your dress.

you tried to crawl away from him, but he was strong, and he could easily catch you. he picked you up easily, and threw you. from the porch. luckily, it was on the first floor, but you still whimpered from pain. you decided to run in the forest. you could hide from him. he ran and chased you. he finally caught up and tackled you to the ground. he slapped you so hard, you spit out blood.

“STOP! why are you doing this?” you said between slaps.

“because, a little bitch like you deserves this. only pain. let’s face it, you were an accident because i raped your mother! you weren’t supposed to be in this world! fuck, anyone but YOU!” he grabbed a branch and beat you with it. he pushed you to the ground and he stomped on you a few times. he kicked you and threw the stick in his hands at you. he left. “you are never welcome back in the house again. not as long as i’m alive.”

you had no idea what you did to set him off like that. the pain in your body was unbearable. you couldn’t move, it hurt too much. instead, you cried. Jane was twenty minutes away, too far. alastor’s house was close, so you decided to at least try.

“ALASTOR!” you shouted, but it must have been too quiet. you sobbed. there were bears in the woods, you were probably going to be eaten. you laid down, still bleeding from where you were beaten. you were bloody and bruised. you felt like you would pass out from the pain. you were ready to give up.

you heard footsteps approach. in boots. the same one your father wore. he must have gotten dressed to keep beating you. you didn’t find out yet, you passed out from the pain.

“hold still…” a familiar man said as he put a bandage on your nose. “there. that should be it.” his mother hugged him and then she took a look at you. “oh honey, are you alright? we found you in the forest!”

your vision was blurry at first, but your eyes focused, and you saw alastor and his mom, staring at you, worrying if you were alright.

you sigh. you were exhausted, it was a little after two.

“yeah… just my father.” marie goes into the living room, making some food for you.

“that bastard. what did he do to you?” you explain that he hit you with his belt, threw you, slapped you, and hit you with a stick, and stomped on you, and kicked you. you tell him all of the UNTRUE words he said to you.

he stared at you, but tugged you towards him, embracing you with his arms around your dirty and destroyed dress. “i was… worried. he deserves to be killed.” you opened your mouth to say something. “shhh, no, don’t say anything. i’ll murder him today. you can if you want, but rest for the rest of the afternoon. we can discuss a plan.”

so then his sweet mother brought you some soup and toast, you ate at their table, and then you slept in his bed. he woke you up after a few hours. “ready, dear?” he said as he loaded his rifle. his mother walked in and kissed his nose. “be safe. both of you.”

Marie must have knew about his murdering. marie was a sweet and kind woman, so alastor was raised good. turns out, he only murders people who deserve it. like your father.

you knew your dad would be asleep on the sofa. it was easy to break in. alastor’s fingers slowly touched the trigger. “no! i dont want him dead instantly. i want him to feel what i had to feel” you say, touching his hand and making him move the rifle. you both walked towards him. the first part of the plan was to tie him up. then, they would hide his guns. so he couldn’t run and shoot them if he escaped somehow. then, they hid the kitchen knives. they stood in front of him. he was naked and drunk. it was now or never.

you took a deep breath, and you slapped his face to wake him up. his eyes opened and saw you. he growled and then tried to get up.

“you’re tied up.” you say. “hmm, alastor, what should we do first?” you giggled.

“y-you’re the murderer!” your father says to alastor. “stay away from my daughter!”

“i’m not your daughter. anymore.” your father freaks out when he puts his hand on your shoulder.

“she doesn’t deserve you! don’t touch her!” alastor laughed. “so, how mad would you be if i kissed her?” your father looks furious, still trying to undo the rope. he looks in your eyes, like he’s asking if he can. you close your eyes, and you feel his lips against yours.

you dropped the knife and your hands moved to his hair. still kissing you, he taps your thighs and you jump up and wrap your legs around his waist again. its perfect. the perfect lighting, your father screaming in the background, the perfect person. you just want to keep kissing him. you never want to stop. you hummed against his lips, and his lips moved to your neck. he was gentle since your cuts were still healing. you let out a little moan, and you heard your fathers screams quiet down a bit as he hardened.

“ugh, hes hard from that moan. what a pig.” you say to alastor, pointing out his cock. he sets you down. “maybe… if he doesn’t have one, he can’t.” alastor picks up your knife and he cuts off your fathers penis in one swipe. he screams in pain, but alastor just cuts off more and more, until only his balls were there. “you don’t deserve children, so let me help you.” he cuts off his balls. your father screams more. he hands you the knife. “would you like to try, darling?” you accept the knife, and you trail the edge of it down his torso, sending shivers down his body. “you know… i always wondered what would happen if you didn’t have any limbs.” you say as you chop his left arm off. he screams in pain, and then you chop his left leg off. alastor smiles as you chop his right arm and leg off. you face alastor. you throw the knife behind you *which happens to land on your fathers eye, tearing it* and you wrap both arms around his neck. he picks you up in one motion and he kisses you. it had been two minutes since your last kiss, and you were craving it already. you needed his lips on yours. your father screams from pain and what he was seeing. “hold on, darling.” he sets you down. your father was taking his last breaths, and he wanted him to hear one last thing. your father hated alastor now, and you. even though he pretended to love you the last ten minutes.

“i’m going to fuck your daughter!” he says in his face. your father growls. “DONT YOU FUCKING DAR-“ your father breathes hard until he takes his last breath. you blushed, thinking about what alastor said. he turned to face you, clearing his throat. “anyways darling, i’m sure the police will be headed here soon, so we should probably get cleaned up and clean this mess. and the body.” you help carry the body, smiling as you watch the wolves devour the limbs and the rest of his torso. they burn the carpet, and they burn the couch cushions. anything with blood. they wash blood from their clothes. “ahh, anyway. we should probably get out of here now.” he smiled as you both heard the police sirens gradually get louder.

“what do we do now?” you say, thinking of ways to escape.

“well, now that the police are getting closer, looks like we can’t fuck! aww.” he says, teasingly.

“shut up, we still can.” you realize he was joking earlier and you blush from embarrassment. he smiles at you, his eyes teasing you.

“come on! we need to go now.” you try to pull his arm, but he sits on a chair. he laughs. “darling, they wont figure out which house it was for a while. we could still fuck.” his tone was flirty. you blushed as he took your chin, making you meet his gaze. “darling, sit on my lap, and if you grind like a good girl, i’ll fuck you.”

your mouth drops from his words. he isn’t joking. you slowly sit down on his lap. you move your hips and you grind on him. you were both stupid teens, you both had never had real sex, so it was a first for both of you. after a while, he held your waist. you both got up, and he lifted your shirt up. you blushed when you felt his hands on your naked waist. he moved his hands down to your pants and took them off. you were so wet. it made him excited. you were in your panties and a bra. he took off his shirt quickly and then pulled his pants down too.

you saw his cock. he pinned you against a table and then pulled your panties down as you unclipped your bra. he took you to the couch and he set you down. “you know, i am… hungry. but i wont just yet, you’re way too wet. besides, we don’t have much time, so we shall skip to… the good part.” he places it inside you and you moan from pleasure. your walls tighten around it, and he moans as well. he moves his hips at a steady pace, being mindful of how much you can take at once. he bites and sucks on your neck. then, he is relentless. he knows you love it, so he goes faster, and puts it all in. you moan loudly every few thrusts. he bends his head down to steal a few kisses. he bites your lips before returning his head back where it was.

“i…i’m at my limit.” he moans as he gets tense.

“please come in me-“ you moan. he goes faster. so fast, he releases instantly. you both groan and catch your breath. his arms are still pinning you against the couch. he stares at you, taking in the beautiful sight.

a knock breaks the moment. their heartbeat picks up as they rush to get dressed.

“fuck, fuck, fuck…” you say, nervously. you both finish at the same time, and you both cover up more evidence. you both exit through the back door. you cant just come around and then onto the street. you take your fathers body deeper into the woods. most that remained were bones. so alastor buried it ten feet deep. they took a shortcut through the woods. they got to his house, and they entered quickly. Marie hugs both of you, but her eyes fall to your neck, with many hickeys.

“dear, your neck seems… hurt,” she giggles into her hand as she leaves you both alone. you walk up the stairs with alastor and he closes the door behind you. you sigh, relieved that it’s finally over. he takes your body and pins it against the wall. “i didn't get enough kisses from you.” he says, taking your chin and kissing you. you hummed a bit against his lips, and he kept a firm grip on your waist. after thirty minutes of kissing, he let you change into your pajamas. you were staying with them after hearing the news that your mom was killed.

your own mom. killed in an accident. you cried for hours. alastor comforted you, but you would never get your mom back.

you would share a room with alastor.

“now, we will never. ever. talk about what went on in your house.” he kept a firm grip on your chin until you nodded. “good girl.” he kissed your forehead and you both went to bed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

that took a couple of hours, but it was so worth it! anyway, this was made on july fourth, but i decided to keep everyone on their toes, so i made it post today.

creds: @worldofkuro, i know i already gave credits to you on the first chapter, but i’m just thanking you again 🤍 🎀

[dutchvanwinkle]

Mr Van der Linde Pt. 6 - Dutch x Reader

This chapter is pretty heavy, with an exploration into grief and mental disorders. I’ve provided more of my thought process at the end as I don’t want to spoil the plot up here, but it’s there if you want to take a look beforehand!

As always - here's the ao3 link.

Summary: Dutch takes you on a minibreak and finally opens up about himself and his past.

Word count: 5,532

Content warnings: smut, discussions around mental health

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6 | PART 7 | PART 8 | PART 9 | PART 10

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Since his visit at the start of term, Dutch had made a point of calling you to catch up at least once a week. He wasn’t the texting type and preferred to hear about your days rather than read about them, which was rather sweet, except you had to keep your voice down if he called you while you were in your flat – just in case.  

After repeatedly trying to arrange a weekend to see you with no success, one day he sent you a message to keep three of the days a couple of weeks before Christmas free when he knew you’d be finished with lectures for the term.  

Fast-forward to then, he’d picked you up and driven the two of you to a small cottage he’d rented in the countryside a few hours away for the two of you to have some alone time together.  

The place was beautiful, quaint, and with enough local amenities to keep you busy. Although, you didn’t have much time to explore, since as soon as you’d entered and dropped your bags, Dutch attached his lips to yours and had you bent over the kitchen counter for an apt reuniting. I’ve missed you he’d said into your hair once finished, and opened up the opportunity for you to try the shower together.  

“I was thinking,” he said, sipping at his coffee as he caught up with the evening news on the old boxy television once you were both squeaky clean, “we stay in for food tonight, rest up, and go out to eat tomorrow?”  

“Sounds good,” you agreed, lifting the blanket from the back of the sofa and joining Dutch on it, draping it over the two of you and sighing contently once you were nestled into his side, the crackling fire swiftly warming the room. It was scary how easy it was to just be like this with him, but you couldn't bring yourself to question it. “Where’s there to eat around here?”  

“Uh,” Dutch pulled out his phone and scrolled around on maps, “there’s not much. A café and a pub, both relatively close to here.”  

“Either will do,” you yawned, resting your head on his shoulder. “I still can’t believe you arranged this.”  

“Well, I knew you couldn’t weasel your way out of it if we had something booked.”  

“I don’t weasel my way out of anything -”  

“No?” Dutch interrupted, raising his brows at you, “assignments popping up out of nowhere, extra shifts at work, a gig you forgot you had tickets for, none of those ring a bell?”  

You grumbled into the fabric of his shirt. “All valid excuses.”  

“Whatever you say, miss,” he chuckled light-heartedly. “I believe, anyway, this is a cause for celebration,” he stood, making his way into the kitchen and returning with two glasses and a bottle of fancy champagne.  

“Where the hell did you hide that? And what are we celebrating?”  

“I believe,” he opened the champagne on the small coffee table in front of you and poured out a glass. “You’re now halfway through your time at university, correct?”  

“Sort of,” you took the glass from him, “technically, it’s not halfway until after these exams. Close enough, though.”  

“And,” he sat beside you, his own glass in hand, “it’s been a year since you and I met.”  

“It has?”  

“There or thereabouts. You came over just before Christmas.”  

“Oh yeah,” you tilted your head, recalling the first time you saw Dutch casually lying on his sofa. “So it has.”  

“I can’t believe you don’t remember,” Dutch scoffed, swilling the champagne around his glass.  

“Aw,” you said patronisingly, “I didn’t realise you’d been counting. Do you have a journal filled with my initials and hearts, too?”  

Dutch narrowed his gaze, a stern breath out of his nose. “I’m trying to be romantic.”  

You smirked, clinking your glass against his and have a swig. “To romance.”  

With a scoff, Dutch leaned over to place his glass on the table. “Last time I do anything nice for you -”  

“What are you doing?” you gasped, picking his glass up and shunting it into his hand.  

“What?”  

“Drink it! It’s seven years of bad sex if you toast without having a drink afterwards.”  

“You know that from experience?”  

“Just drink it,” you tapped the bottom of the glass reprimandingly, and he did as you asked.  

“I didn’t have you down as the superstitious type,” he put his arm around you, amusement lighting up his face.  

You leaned into him all the same. “I’m not, exactly. But I don’t want to take the risk. I’m quite a fan of our sex.”  

“As am I,” he agreed, taking another sip. “Are you glad your first semester is over?”  

“I will be when the exams finish. But by that point, it’ll be second semester and I’ll have to do it all over again,” you responded begrudgingly.  

“How’s John getting along? He doesn’t tell me much.”  

“He’s fine,” you shrugged, not wanting to be the middleman between the two.  

Dutch let out a sigh and stretched his back. “I should’ve known you’d be no help on that front.”  

“I am not getting involved,” you laughed. “If you want to know how he’s doing, ask him yourself. Plus, I’d rather not be reminded that he’s your son.”  

“Can’t run from the truth, darlin’,” he mused, and the two of you took another sip.  

“I’m not running. I’m just ignoring it.”  

“How’s that different?”  

“Because I said so,” you shrugged, shifting slightly to look around the room. “I like it here.”  

Dutch glanced around too. “We’ll do it again sometime.”  

The statement hinted at a future, the thought of which had been ruminating around your head as of late. You pushed it back, not wanting to divulge away from the relaxed atmosphere in the room. Instead, you snuggled up to Dutch and sat for a while until your conversation was filled with more yawns than words, at which point you turned in for the night.  

-

Waking up laid on Dutch’s chest wasn’t something you were used to yet, but it was something you enjoyed greatly. So much so, that once you’d awoken the next morning, you remained in your position and didn’t check if he was awake, wanting to savour the comfort and warmth he provided.  

That was, until he shifted, and you heard him pull something from the draw, then a lid coming off. You peeked upwards, finding Dutch taking a swig of water and screwing the lid back on a bottle of pills that he hastily put back in the drawer.  

“What are those?” you asked, leaning up on your elbow to look over at his nightstand.   

Dutch tensed, slowly shifting his eyes to meet yours before swallowing down the tablet. He looked like he’d been caught in a questionable act, the expression on his face one you’d never seen there before.  

Shame.  

You put a hand on his arm, a minor attempt at soothing whatever worry had been prodded awake in his mind. “What is it?”  

“I - they’re -” he began, looking back at his glass of water and sighing deeply. “I suppose you had to find out sooner or later.”  

“Find what out?” you sat up, facing him as concern began brewing in your mind. “Dutch, are you okay?”  

“Yes, yeah, I’m fine. They’re just,” he leaned back against the headboard, decompressing as his panic turned into acceptance. “They’re mood stabilisers.”  

“Oh,” you responded, glad to hear that none of the worst-case scenarios in your head were true. You wanted to know more, but this was clearly a sensitive topic for him. “Do you want to tell me about it?”  

He looked at you with mild surprise, blinking a few times to glance down at his hands which he was wringing together. You placed your palm over them. “I don’t necessarily want to, but it’s about time you knew about it.”  

You nodded, allowing him to go at his own pace, your heart wrenching at how raw and exposed he was for the first time since you’d met him.  This certainly wasn’t what you’d expected from this weekend.  

“Not now. How about we go on a walk after breakfast? It’s a lovely part of the country,” he gestured out the window, hopeful.  

“I’d like that.”  

The two of you spoiled yourself with breakfast at a local café, idle chatter and comfortable silences accompanying your meal. Part of you wished you could go for a nap but walking it off was the more sensible option. Besides, you didn’t think letting Dutch hold that extra weight on his shoulders for any longer than necessary was a good idea.  

You walked from the local village to a nearby trail, with open fields and sky that stretched out for miles. You’d gotten lucky with the weather, despite not being hot, the sun was out and made for a nice addition to the scenery. After only a few steps, Dutch casually took your hand in his and the two of you began the walk.   

“I’ve been on them for years,” Dutch’s opening sentence was soft, as though he’d been deep in thought about how to begin the conversation.  

“Have they helped?” The question felt like a silly one, you doubted he’d take them if they didn’t, but you weren’t sure what to ask at this moment, or whether you were to ask anything at all.  

“Yeah. A lot.” He sounded almost glum.  

“That’s good.”  

“Was Arthur who got me on them in the first place.”  

You hummed in acknowledgement, feeling for a boundary you didn’t want to cross. “What are you like without them? If you don’t mind me asking.”  

“No, it’s fine.” Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed him glance at you and felt reassured. “Uh, I think Arthur’s word for it was ‘unreasonable’. Though I think he was being nice, to placate me.”  

“On account of your unreasonableness.”  

“Exactly.”  

The silence extended, and you enjoyed the singsong of birds nearby while you waited for him to find his next words.  

“Arthur... he’s put up with a lot. A lot more than the other two. I half wonder how he still tolerates me.”  

“By put up with, do you mean with regards to you specifically?” you pried gently, hoping you weren’t putting words in his mouth.  

“Unfortunately. After Ann -” Dutch stopped, giving you a sharp look at the realisation this was the first time he’d mentioned his late wife.  

“You can talk about Annabelle,” you reassured him, “I’d like to hear about her.”  

He nodded, relieved. “After she - Annabelle, passed away, I guess I sort of changed. Well, John doesn’t agree with that, but -”  

“Agree with what?” you asked, unsure what he was referring to.  

Dutch sighed, visibly uncomfortable but with a lingering desire to continue his explanation. “John reckons I was always this way. Just that the circumstance brought it out,” he looked to the ground at the stones shifting beneath his steps, and you ran your thumb over his hand that was still clasped around yours. “Sorry, I’m not making much sense.”  

Hearing him speak without an air of self-assurance was almost jarring, as though no matter how hard he tried to plan out the words there just wasn't a good way to say them. “It’s okay. Why don’t you go back to Annabelle’s passing?”  

“Right, good idea.” Dutch paused for an extended moment, ordering his thoughts. “I was so angry. That’s what I remember the most – just pure rage. She was a good person, and then she was gone.”   

You chewed on your lip, wondering if it was your place to ask but decided it might help you understand Dutch that little bit more. “How did it happen?”  

“She got sick.” That was all Dutch said, and that was all you needed to know. “We had a home, a good life, a family. Then it was just me, with these kids and I didn’t know the first thing about how to bring them up. Arthur was a teenager, poor Tilly just a toddler.”  

“But you’d brought them up until that point?”  

Dutch nodded diplomatically. “I suppose. Annabelle did all the tough bits, though, as most mothers do. But it wasn’t just that. The worst part was that I -” he trailed off, looking across the horizon and unable to hide the pain on his face. “I didn’t want to.”  

Your brows knitted together. “Bring them up?”  

“I just remember them wanting to... go away. I was heartbroken, I didn’t want to deal with their broken hearts too. It sounds awful, doesn’t it?” he looked at you, eyes sad and riddled with guilt.  

“Grief’s a funny thing.”  

A short, humourless laugh left Dutch and he turned his attention back to the scenery ahead. “Arthur,” his voice cracked on the name, “perceptive as he is, ended up doing a large part of that job for me. Mainly because I let him.” The pair of you took a few more steps, allowing the silence to dilute the tense air building around Dutch. “I resented him for it.”  

“Why?” you asked gently.  

“The kid was a better man than me. He’d lost his mother, and he had it in him to support his siblings. I just felt weak, almost like they’d -” he swallowed, his jaw ticking, “like they’d be better off if I wasn’t there.”  

“Oh, Dutch -”  

“Don’t,” he warned, not meeting your gaze, “it’s not sympathy I deserve.”  

While you didn't completely agree with that statement, you opted for doing as he asked and kept quiet on that front.  

“After a while, I got paranoid. I thought Arthur was trying to replace me, and I started to accuse him of it in not-so-many words. One night, Arthur did something he’d never done before.”  

“What?”  

“He shouted at me. Yelled at me. At that moment it was like seeing my own rage reflected, as he whittled off everything he hated about me. I was speechless. And at that moment, I hated him too.” Dutch’s face hardened with the memory, and he consciously shook it away. “The next day, Hosea – you remember him? I’m not sure you’ve met.”  

“I remember,” you nodded. Dutch’s best friend, the one he worked with. You’d never spoken with him, but you were sure you’d seen him at the barbeque back in summer.  

“Well, he came around. Sat me down with Arthur and they had an... intervention of sorts. He was more of a father to Arthur than I was at that time, and I hadn’t even noticed just how much he’d been there, taking the kids out and such. But I trust Hosea, always have.” For the first time in this conversation, Dutch’s eyes misted up, but he blinked it away. “He told me I needed to get help, and I did. I couldn’t have done it without him and Arthur.”  

You walked some more, Dutch’s hand comfortably intertwined with yours. “Shit,” you huffed, wishing you had better words to articulate your thoughts. “I - that’s a lot. I’m sorry.”  

“Why are you sorry?” he asked.  

“I’m sorry you had to go through that. It mustn’t have been easy, accepting you need help and then seeing it through to this point.”  

He looked at you, still a little puzzled.  

“You’ve come a long way,” you shrugged, and Dutch’s face softened as though viewing his progress as an achievement wasn’t something he often did. That didn't surprise you, for as hard as could be on his kids he was noticeably harder on himself. “I didn’t know Annabelle, but I like to think she’d be proud of you for it.”  

Dutch nodded, again looking at the countryside ahead and when his lip quivered you stopped walking, turning towards him and he mirrored your actions. You brought a hand up to the side of his face, running a thumb under his eye to catch one of his less-stubborn tears. “You’re very understanding,” his voice was weak as it carried the words, an odd thing to hear from such a proud, strong man.   

There wasn’t much you could say, really. John had never mentioned anything about this, and your initial thoughts about their perfect family life were far from the truth. Their money wasn’t enough to save Annabelle, work through their grief, or avoid the inevitable trauma that followed. The life they had was built from the ground up on a rocky foundation, and it told you a lot about Dutch to know what he’d worked through to get to this point. You wrapped your arms around his waist and embraced him, the two of you remaining like that for a short time before continuing the walk, a much lighter atmosphere surrounding you for the rest of its duration.  

-

After the walk, the two of you were hungry enough to go out for dinner earlier than planned, and promptly returned to the cottage once fed.  

“What did you do with the rest of that champagne?” you called into the kitchen, fiddling with the cardigan you’d draped over your shoulders.  

“I stuck it in the fridge with a spoon in the opening. Should be okay – do you want some more?” Dutch called back.  

“Well,” you shifted on the arm of the sofa you were perched on, “I was thinking we could give that hot tub a whirl.”  

A comical pause of silence preluded Dutch appearing in the doorway, eyebrows raising when he was met with you in your bikini. A half-smile inched onto his face, and he licked his lips absentmindedly. “You are full of good ideas,” he leaned up against the doorframe, his voice dropping in pitch. “You don’t think it’ll be cold?”  

“Not in the hot tub,” you shrugged. “I’ll go figure out how to turn it on.” With that, you stood and walked away, smirking at the lack of movement on Dutch’s part.  

Eventually, he pulled himself together and you were already relaxed in the warm water when he came outside, in his own shorts with the champagne in hand. The smile he couldn’t keep off his face was contagious as he placed the drink down and stepped into the water to sit opposite you.  

He did look undeniably cute surrounded by bubbles.  

Once he’d poured a glass, he handed it over and you held it up expectantly, waiting for his toast.  

“Oh no, you were rather critical of my toast yesterday,” he said amusedly, pouring his own glass. “If you want one, you do it.”  

You smiled surreptitiously, tilting your head while you thought. Once one came to mind, you flicked your gaze to his and cleared your throat. “To plentiful sex.”  

Dutch tipped his head back as he laughed, eyes shining when they met yours. “Well, the gods of toasting do seem to have a lot of power in determining sexual relations, it seems, so that is fitting.”  

With a nod of agreement, you extended your arm out and Dutch tapped his glass against yours. He made a show of retaining eye contact while you both took a sip. You jolted when something came into contact with your foot, but relaxed upon the realisation that it was just Dutch’s own foot inching towards you. Your body grew warmer at the insinuation, now heating up from the inside as well the outside thanks to the steamy water. He crept further up your shin, over your knee and up your inner thigh, then paused. He shunted his foot upwards, knocking your glass of champagne and did a good job of spilling it down your front.  

“Dutch,” you cried in a half-laugh, sitting up straight and shivering at the cool alcohol on your skin.  

The man just laughed, but soon leaned over onto your side of the tub. “Don’t worry,” he rumbled, taking your glass and setting it down along with his, “I’ve got it.” With that, he brought his head to your chest and licked the champagne from your cleavage, all the way up to your neck. Your shock swiftly moulded into arousal, sighing softly and arching into his touch.  

“You’re a bastard,” you said despite yourself, but even that came out all breathy.   

“You love it,” he said against your skin, continuing to clear it of the spilt champagne. “Besides,” he lifted his head, “it’d be unfair not to test that toast of yours.”  

“Unfair?” you repeated, running one of his damp curls between your fingers, “unfair on who, exactly?”  

“Me, you, the toast gods...” he said in-between pecks to your chest, trailing down to venture between your breasts once again.  

Your fingertips ran into his scalp, spurring him on. “Well, we can’t have that.”  

Dutch kissed along your clavicle then brought his face to yours. “I admire your fairness.”  

After sighing out a laugh you pecked his lips, and one turned to two which turned to many. He tasted of champagne, and you wrapped your arms around his neck, his hands moving behind your back to untie your bikini. Without breaking the chain of kisses, you made a joint effort to remove it and he instantly found your breasts, caressing them in his hands.  

You moved your fingers through his hair to hold the back of his head, keeping his lips pressed onto yours. Dutch brought his hand to your face, reciprocating your desire until the kiss broke and you brought a palm up to his cheek, the pair of you catching your breath and observing each other as day turned to night. “Are you sure we can do this in here?” you asked.  

“I don’t think I’ll be able to survive the wait to do it anywhere else,” Dutch huffed and that was more reasoning than you needed; you weren’t sure you’d survive it yourself. You encouraged him to sit where he was previously and straddled him, the warm water sloshing around your bodies.   

Dutch hummed as his palms felt their way up your thigh and you angled yourself so that his cock was pressed against you in just the right place between your combined swimwear. His fingers trailed around, squeezing your ass then trailing further still to press over your cunt. Thankfully, he couldn’t tease you for how wet you were this time.  

Your whine in response was likely enough for him to figure it out anyway, and he deftly moved your bikini bottoms to the side so he could slide a finger in, and you clenched around it, searching for more.  

“That’s it,” he cooed, voice thick and breaths short. You ground your clit onto him while he pumped his finger, soon after adding a second. It was greedy, but you always wanted more when it came to this man. His other hand brushed up your flank to reach your breast, running his thumb over your nipple as he intently watched the pleasure spread over your face. “You truly are magnificent.”  

You tutted, lightly pinching his shoulder. “Hush.”  

He shook his head with a smile. “Never.”  

Reaching down to remove his shorts, he lifted his hips to assist, and you decided you might as well go completely bare too. After untying your bottoms, you flung them over the side with his shorts and immediately ground onto his length. Dutch whimpered weakly as you lined up and slowly sunk down onto him.  

“Oh my,” Dutch breathed and held your hips in his hands, keeping your crotch anchored to his while your walls fluttered around him and got used to the feeling. His body was growing familiar, a thing you anticipated but admired all the same just as you had the first time you’d become intertwined.  

You shifted your knees and pressed your torso into his, a gentle hand on his neck to persuade him to look up at you. He did, and with a stifled sigh, you pressed your lips to his. Dutch was oddly pliant, allowing your tongue in and following your lead as you explored his mouth. Experimentally, you raised your hips some and sunk back down, finding a tender rhythm that made him dig his fingernails into your flesh.  

While the air was cold, the two of you were burning hot. Manoeuvring yourself up and down Dutch’s length allowed for a measure of control you hadn’t had previously, and the quiet praise he repeated as you moved told you all you needed to know about his thoughts on the matter. His thighs twitched occasionally, him fighting the urge to pound into you and rush to the finish.  

Leaning back from him, you took in the sight of his steamy, soaked skin, the pink flush that resided there and the defined curls, some of which fell forward onto his face. He was drinking you in, too, your wet skin and exposed nipples, along with the lust-filled expression on your face as your lips parted and eyes grew heavy. The angle allowed for a repeated pressure over the sensitive spot in your walls, and you dropped your head back with a moan as the intensity increased with each thrust.  

“Dutch,” you whispered into the evening air, thoroughly and contently filled with him.  

“I know, darlin’,” he agreed, enamoured with the view of you falling apart right on his lap.  

Dutch’s muscles, highlighted thanks to the blanket of water covering his form, grew taut with the strength of which he clung to you. He squeezed your thighs, dragging his fingernails over your skin and his carnal need flashed dangerously over his eyes. With a growl, you found yourself losing the rhythm you’d built as Dutch forced his own, pulling you down onto him at a much more brutal pace.  

You cried out, Dutch hissing through his teeth as his features scrunched. “Oh, yes,” he said approvingly, “I finally get to hear your pretty song.”  

The more noise you let spill from your mouth, the harder Dutch gripped your flesh and used your body for his enjoyment, the two of you slippery and still yearning for more. You wanted it so bad it hurt, your abdomen burning up as his cock fucked you further and further into a state of euphoria. It was just you and him, able to be animals of your own accord, nobody around to tell you it was wrong or immoral.  

But that was why you liked it. This older, mature man saw the value in you, grew almost obsessive at the thought of your body and the back and forth in your mind slowed every time he showed you just what you did to him. You clouded his judgement; you were worth the risk. You had him panting, pulling your body to his as he claimed all that you were. He had the same effect on you, you supposed.  

Dutch shifted in his seat, digging his feet into the bottom of the tub to try and get further in, to fuck you harder, deeper. “Fuck, darlin’ -” he moaned, tailing off almost into a whimper. “Oh my, my girl. You feel so good. So good.”  

His babbling praise filled your ears, seeped into your skin and fed your very soul. Making him lose his well-practised control only heightened your lust. You whined, feeling over the flexing muscle of his shoulders and holding on for dear life. At this rate, you wouldn’t be surprised if you floated right up into the stars above.  

“Shit, I can’t -” he grunted strenuously, “I’m gonna, sweetheart, I’m gonna -”  

And he did, pulling you as far down onto his cock as he could and dropping his head to your chest, his thighs twitching beneath you as he filled your pussy to the brim. You cradled his jaw, laboured breaths leaving the pair of you as he looked up with those dark eyes of his. He tutted at himself, muttering an apology and you chuckled as he brought his thumb to your clit, rubbing across it and pressing down at just the right moment.  

His teeth attacked your neck, and you knew he’d leave a mark but screw it – regardless of anything you couldn’t deny that you were his. It felt too good, his cock and his fingers and his lips exploring every avenue of your body. “Come, darlin’,” he said lowly, his voice hoarse, “let me feel you come on my cock. That’s it. Good girl, come on -”  

Your toes curled and your eyes tightened shut at the feeling that shot through you, a hot wave of shock that buzzed into your appendages. With a moan of relief, you dropped your forehead to press against his, still feeling the after-effects of your orgasm. “That was so -”  

Dutch hummed in agreement, and you were glad he understood.   

Tenseness turned to relaxation as you melted into him, and your body felt weaker and more fucked-out than it ever had. Dutch’s big arms wrapped around you when you rested your head on his shoulder, and you could happily fall asleep right there – even if it did mean you’d look like a prune come morning.  

“I think someone’s ready for bed.”  

“Oh no,” you yawned, “I’m full of energy.”  

Dutch snickered, and you groaned when he shifted, but he shushed you gently. “Just sit there for five seconds, darlin’.”  

You did, begrudgingly, and watched him step out of the hot tub and find his shorts from the floor, pulling them up before turning off the hot tub. Then he reached in and took you in his arms, cradling you as though you were his most prized possession. It was a fair trade, and you wrapped your arms around your neck as he walked into the house and carried you into the bedroom.  

“Now, tell me, you don’t exactly want to get this bed all wet, do you?” you raised your brows at him suggestively, and he shook his head in mild disapproval. “Bad girl. You know that’s not what I meant.”  

“No,” you gave in, “I don’t.”  

“Right. So, I’m gonna stand you up here, wipe us both down with a towel, and then we’ll get comfy. Deal?”  

“Deal,” you parroted, leaning in to press your lips to his.  

Dutch followed up on his end of the bargain, gently dragging the soft towel over your skin. You climbed into bed while he dried himself. He changed into some dry, charcoal grey shorts and glanced over to you. “Would you like your pyjamas?”  

Your answer was a shake of your head, and his expression grew pleased. “Good. I’ll just be a second.”  

He left to lock the doors and turn out the lights and then returned to climb in beside you, immediately pulling you into his chest and you wrapped your leg over his, attempting to get as close as you could.  

“You’re a special girl,” he hummed into your hair, and it was the last thing you remembered hearing before drifting off.  

-

This must’ve been on record for the most showers you’d ever taken in a weekend. Dutch had the expected reaction come morning to your nude form lying half-on him, and you didn’t blame nor begrudge him for it. The two of you were squeaky clean once again by the time you sat down for late breakfast Dutch had insisted on cooking for you.  

“I wish we could stay here,” you said melancholily, leaning back in your chair and taking a swig of orange juice to wash down your food.  

“Don’t tempt me,” Dutch agreed, resting his open palm on the table.  

You placed yours over it and offered him a bittersweet smile, the unfairly quick passing of time feeling almost like a robbery of sorts. Here, you'd been away from your troubles and stress at university, and you'd been able to just be with him without worrying about who'll hear you. It was just what you'd needed. “Thanks for bringing me.”  

“Of course. Fancy enjoying the view for the last few hours?”  

With a nod you stood, and Dutch led you outside, taking a seat on the bench facing the outstretched scenery and you took a sit on his lap in turn. He lit a cigarette and you relaxed into him, glancing up at the hard line of his jaw while he pressed the smoke to his mouth.  

It was so cliché, but god did he look hot while he smoked.  

“I was wondering,” he began, “why don’t the lot of you live in the same flat?”  

“We were meant to. But because I didn’t let the accommodation office know, nobody did.”  

“You really are the good girl of the group.”  

“Hardly,” you huffed, gesturing a hand to him.  

“Touché,” he smirked around his next drag. “Will you next year?”  

“Yeah, either merge our flats or rent a house. Whichever is cheapest.”  

Dutch hummed. “That’s pretty close quarters.”  

“Mhm. So you won’t be able to sneak into my room should you decide to come up again.”  

With a laugh, Dutch gently ran his hand up and down your back. “I won’t need to if you agree to spend the odd weekend with me.”  

“I will,” you relented.  

“Promise?” he asked, and you pecked his cheek.  

“Promise.”  

End Note: Lemme preface this by saying I am not a professional on psychiatry or anything related to it, however, a common opinion about Dutch in the fandom is that he suffers with BPD or something similar. I agree, to the end that I had a family member with it and with a bit of extra research the symptoms do line up with Dutch’s personality. With this being a modern AU, I wanted to delve into how his life could’ve differed with the advancement of medicine and knowledge. That being said, I only have the internet to guide me so I apologise if any part of it seems inaccurate - please correct me if that’s the case! For that reason, I didn’t want to go too deep into it and be irresponsible, but I do love picking this man’s brain apart and it felt wrong not to address it at least a little. I’m not entirely sure how common it is for people with BPD or similar illnesses to reach a level of self-awareness like he does here, but I know it is possible in some cases, and with Dutch being rich it makes sense that he’d at least be able to get access to decent treatment. What we do know from R* is that Dutch struggled with being suicidal (if you haven’t played RDR1 or at least watched the scenes he’s in I highly recommend it) and it ties in well with his circumstance so again I wanted to touch on it.

[messedupfan]

The Last Supper

Summary: The team has their obligatory Tiktok POV party.

A/N: Hello! It's me, the problem, aka. slowest writer around. Hope it makes sense and that y'all enjoy!

Masterlist | All Chapters | All Stories Taglist

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You crash on your bed as you and Wanda return to the room. Exhausted from over exerting yourselves time after time. Your wife tiredly joins you with a heavy sigh. “Do you think they’ll miss us if we don’t show?” Wanda asks as her head falls to gaze in your direction. You let out a light scoff. 

“Trust me, it has crossed my mind,” you close your eyes for a second and focus on your breathing. Instead of the nagging feeling that this could be your last moments with your wife. “It could be fun to bond with them over more than just the mission. I think we’ll catch a second wind when we’re all together.”

Wanda’s groans cause you to laugh. “I’ve already caught my second wind. And me third, and forth. I’m not exactly in a state of having my rest tampered with.” 

“Why is that?” You ask, sitting up and looking over at her. 

“You know how I get when I don’t get enough rest.” Wanda mumbles as she begins to slip. You laugh softly and climb off of the bed. You pull her shoes off and flash something more comfortable on her body. You tuck her in before you jump in the shower. 

Even though you could have easily cleaned yourself up with magic, saving the time and energy, you take a shower to relax. Something about the warm water is soothing as it stings your skin and clears your mind. You stop thinking about losing. You stop thinking about the Scarlet Witch. But you don’t stop thinking about your wife. You remind yourself of the wonderful years that the two of you have managed to spend together in peace. Sure, there was an argument here and there. Every couple has their moments. And you wouldn’t change a single one of them. Not even the break the two of you had before the peace. Before almost losing each other for good. When she was seeing the Simon from your universe. And you were with a girl you can hardly remember the name of now. 

As you step out, you admire your sleeping wife and recall the day you reunited. The two of you had been separated for over a year by then. She was the one to put things to an end. You kept putting yourself at risk and she couldn’t handle living with the fear of losing you for good. You aren’t invincible Y/n! She didn’t like that you would sacrifice yourself so easily without considering what you would leave behind. I love you so much it hurts! But I don’t think that’ll ever be enough for you. Just go, go be the martyr you’ve always wanted to be. You’re free from me. So she kept you at a distance. Which wasn’t always easy with getting the same assignments and having to work together on the Avengers. To make it easier, you began to focus more on teaching sorcerers at Kamar Taj to be the best warriors they could be. Something the two of you do to this day, together. 

It took her a few months to move on. Simon had always made himself available to her. And always followed the orders he was given to a T. Never did anything to risk his life or the life of others. Always looking for another way out. However, he didn’t make her laugh the way you did. He had no desire to build the family the two of you dreamt of together. And most importantly, he wasn’t you. But Wanda was committed to moving on from you. She wouldn’t become a young widow someday, left to care for children on her own because you had to be the hero. You took a little bit longer to move on. When you found out about her new relationship, part of you felt betrayed. Part of you thought maybe that was why she really left you. It made you angry and bitter and you built a wall around yourself to protect your heart. 

Then you met someone that you thought might change things for you. That relationship was doomed from the beginning because you weren’t over Wanda. Despite how often you told yourself that you were. When Wanda caught wind of the news. She wouldn’t let go. Everyone that had an ear, she would talk on and on about how annoying this other girl seemed and how she wasn’t at all your type and that the relationship was never going to work because she wasn’t right for you. She didn’t stop until one night, at dinner with Simon, he cut her off and told her that if she wanted to be with you again then he wouldn’t hold her back. She thought his outburst was absurd but she apologized and stopped talking about you. 

A couple weeks later, you were convinced to come back to the Avengers for a very important mission. There wasn’t much time to prepare, the threat was large and imminent. The two of you somehow wound up in the same area. Working as the team the two of you have always been in order to stop an enemy. You knew how to make a move without getting in her way and were good about making sure she didn’t get injured. She knew when you wanted to combine power to make a certain move with just a look. Fighting along her side again felt like a romantic dance in a way. And you knew you had to have her be yours once again. Whatever it took. 

At the end of the battle, when tensions were high and the both of you were standing near each other, lucky to be alive, you walked up to her. You put your hands on her face to kiss her but you stopped yourself. Wanda gasped having you so close to her once again. She didn’t know if she wanted this again. You closed your eyes as you began to regret your actions. As you pulled away, an apology at the tip of your tongue, she grabbed your robe to keep you there. You opened your eyes to look into hers to see where her head was at. But they were shut tightly. So you closed yours again to just feel. You leaned in a bit more to feel her lips against yours, not quite kissing her just yet. She jerked her head back and let out a sharp breath. But she didn’t fight your light grasp. She didn’t remove your hands from her. She didn’t loosen her grip on your clothing. Then she made up her mind and kissed you. Both of you pulled each other closer. 

She couldn’t stop apologizing and telling you how much she loved you as she broke down in tears. You consoled her the best you could but you were feeling quite emotional yourself that day. You move her hair out of her face now as you flash on something nice for the event tonight. You thought it was a little ridiculous to be celebrating before the fight. But you suppose another day alive was a victory itself. You conjure a little note to let Wanda know where you are when she wakes. It didn’t matter that she could have figured it out on her own. It was part of good communication. You kiss her forehead before leaving.

You arrive at the dining hall where they were setting up chairs around the tables. You stop Jean and Raven where they are and you make a couple of hand motions that set everything up for them. The tables and chairs are out, a buffet is ready to serve, a bar is ready to serve endless drinks, and there is a table full of desserts and candies. “Ah, I love magic,” you say happily. 

Raven shakes her head, “Huh, I think I like you a little bit more.” 

“Uh-oh, don’t let Carol hear that,” Jean teases. 

“Shut up,” the blonde rolls her eyes, “I have to go change. Not all of us can be ready with the wiggle of our noses.” Leaving you with Jean alone in the hall. 

“That is offensive to my kind,” you throw out there jokingly. 

Jean smiles, “What is?”

“I am the Master of the Mystical Arts. There is a lot more that goes into my transformation than just a twitch of my nose,” you scoff dramatically. 

“Is that so?” She enables.

“Yeah, it’s a wave,” you hold your hand slightly above your head, “of my hand.” As you twirl your wrist and lower your hand, your outfit changes again. This time into a ridiculous clown that makes Jean burst out laughing. “What? Is there something on my face?” You cluelessly touch your cheek, allowing the paper white makeup rub off on your comically large red glove. “Oh no! Not again!” you say and you look up to see her holding her side. “It’s not funny!” You gripe and Jean tries to get the words out to agree with you but she can’t. Then with a wiggle of your big red nose, the clown outfit poofs away and you are back in the outfit you intended to wear tonight. 

“I will be sure to correct Raven before she strikes again,” Jean says once she’s able to get her words out. “I should get ready as well,” she takes a glance around the empty space, not sure if she should leave you all by yourself. “Where’s Wanda?” 

“Taking a nap,” you answer simply. 

“I’m surprised you aren’t with her now,” Jean says. 

You laugh a little to yourself. “Oh, if I sleep now I won’t get back up.” You don’t need to be a mind reader to know the woman’s conflict. “Go on, I’m sure someone will pop in here while I entertain myself.” 

“Are you sure?” She asks to be polite but she was already making her way to the door. 

“Yes,” you confirm. Once you’re all alone, you leave the area to go over the strategies while you wait. This wasn’t a typical situation, you’ve never been given this much time to work out a strategy before going against a threat before. There usually wasn’t time to make a group plan. It was usually instinct based and following whatever something could come up with on the spot. So, you wanted to take advantage of the time. 

“I knew you’d be in here,” Thor says as he enters the room. “Come on, put that stuff down. I'm making a rule, no one can return to this room for the rest of the night. There is a pungent odor, this place needs to breathe.”

“Damnit, man. How’d you know I'd be here?” You grumble as Thor leads you out of the room. 

“In truth, I didn't. I knew someone would be in here. Trying to work. There will be no time for work. No, my friend, there will only be time for celebration. Have fun! Remind yourself what you're fighting for. All of us need to. Our freedoms, our friends, our families, our lives! All of it!” Thor boasts. Although you were slightly annoyed that you couldn’t continue working, he had a point. The work will be there tomorrow. 

Well into the night the dining hall is filled with the team. The tables that were originally shorter and arranged in sections about the room were collected and pushed together to make one long table once Thor got to the room. With a snap of your fingers, you made the seating arrangements to help out. Thor thought you took the fun out of it so you undid the magic and took a seat and watched as Thor and the Asgardian soldiers moved the chairs to the table one by one. Now, you sit with your arm around Wanda's seat as you listen to Carol deliver a ridiculous story from one of her missions. Looking around at everyone smiling and laughing, Raven appreciates the moment of peace. “I’ve got to hand it to you Thor, this was a great idea,” she compliments. 

Carol tips the neck of her bottle towards Raven, “I agree! We should do this more often.”

Logan, who had returned a few days ago along with Storm and Charles, wanting to fight to keep their home. Raven and Jean were more than happy to have them back. Lights a new cigar. “The protectors of the multiverse, celebrating their victory against the evil bi-” Charles clears his throat and Logan rolls his eyes, “witch,” he finishes.

“If we survive this hell, we should do this every year,”  Jean chimes in cynically but no one lets it affect the atmosphere. 

You feel slightly concerned about her but you don't let it show. “When,” you correct. “When we survive this hell, we'll make certain to do it.”

Thor rises onto the table and drunkenly raises his massive mug to the air. “To the protectors of the multiverse!” His voice booms in the air and everyone cheers him along as he chugs all of the contents of the glass. You refill the glass from your seat, enchanting it to be on an endless loop, and he grins as he points to you, “Now that's what magic should be used for!” 

Another round of laughter fills the room before others request for the same to be done for them. You happily oblige. When you realize Wanda is one of the few that hasn't made the request, you nudge her to offer. She loves this spell. She turns to you as if you had snapped her out of her head and you move your gaze to her hardly touched glass of wine then back to her eyes and she is caught up. “No, not tonight, love. Thank you, but,” she leans in close to whisper, “I think one of us should be sober tonight.”

“Are you sure you want to volunteer for that? You've been more tense about this mission than I have,” you offer. 

Wanda shakes her head, “I’m fine, really babe. I'm relaxed and there is such a thing as having fun while sober.” You raise your hands in surrender as you laugh. This was new to you but you weren't going to argue it any further. 

Across the table Jean is paying too much attention to you and Wanda. She begins to miss Y/n and has to separate herself from the party for a moment. For most of the people that are preoccupied with their own conversations, the exit goes unnoticed. Except for Wanda and you. 

“I wonder what's eating her up,” you frown as you keep your eyes on the newly empty seat.  

"You should go check on her." Your wife whispers softly by your side, and you turn your gaze back to her, confusion written all over your face. 

"You sure?" You whisper back, uncertain, but the brunette just offers you a reassuring smile. 

Resting her hand over yours as she says, “I am. She looks like she could use a friend and I would send Raven but,” she looks over to the shapeshifter who's adoring gaze is locked on Carol. “Besides I'm sure she'd like your company.” You nod slowly, glancing back at the door through which Jean had disappeared a few minutes ago. When you look back at Wanda again, you offer her a gentle smile. 

"I'll be right back, save me something sweet." You ask as you stand up from your chair, and the brunette lets out a low giggle, nodding her confirmation, and you kiss her lips softly before you leave the table. You look around as soon as you're in the corridor, wondering where she'd gone. But you don't have to for long, because soon you see the red hair outside, her front resting over the edge of the balcony as she watches the night sky. You make some noise with your feet so as not to startle her as you make your way over, and smile back once she flashes you a small one. 

"Hey there... Is everything alright?" You ask as you rest your forearms on the balcony rail, looking at her with a mixture of concern and curiosity. The redhead casts a tiny smile before her eyes go back to the open area of the Institute - poorly lit by the moonlight - her fingers never stopping the fidgeting with her necklace in front of her collarbone. 

"Yeah, I just... I never really liked parties." She lies, but you don't push her to speak, nodding your head in understanding instead. 

"Yeah, me neither."

"I know." She answers softly, and your eyes are drawn back to hers in surprise. But she's looking at you the same way she did when she first saw you, or when you were talking in front of the picture frames in your living room, and the moment in the green house. Looking at you as if you were the person she knew, the one she loves so dearly. And that is now gone. You can’t carry the weight of that look anymore, so you clear your throat awkwardly, and look up at the starry sky above your heads. 

"It's a beautiful night tonight."

"It is." Jean agrees just a heartbeat after, her gaze following yours. "What a shame it may be our last." She adds sadly a moment later, and you furrow your eyebrows heavily, your eyes back on her figure once again. 

"Don't say that." You request, almost demanding, but the redhead only looks at you with a resigned smile. 

"It's the truth." She shrugs her shoulders before looking back ahead. "But I'm at peace with it, honestly. It's better to go than to be left behind again. I can't lose anyone else."

"You won't." You assure her, more because seeing her cry and hearing her choke on a sob breaks your heart than because you actually believe what you're saying. 

"You don't believe that." She sees right through you, sending you a small smile, but you shake your head in denial. 

"Of course I do." You confirm the lie, but it only makes Jean let out a tearful giggle. 

"You may not be my Y/n, but I can still tell when you lie. I am a mind reader after all." You can't help but laugh at that, a weak chuckle as you shake your head in amusement. Knowing you have nothing honest to say that'll comfort her, you decide to look for a different subject instead, something to take her mind off all that for a while. And you find it in her hand.

"It's a beautiful necklace." You point at the item she's still playing with, and Jean let her eyes fall to the pendant. 

"It was a gift." She tells, smiling at the small piece lovingly. "I never take it off." Her tone is nostalgic, sad, and you don't have to think too much about it to figure out who was the one who gave it to her. You.

 "Can I see it?" You ask instead, and watch as the redhead ponders for a second before smiling and nodding in confirmation. 

It is a simple necklace, with a dark leather cord and a circular pendant attached to it by a simple metal hoop. What is most striking, however, are the infinite golden dots inside the transparent resin, which move in magical harmony, forming the figure of a majestic phoenix, its wings flapping at a slow tempo. When you take the small item in your fingers, you can't help but feel your own magic pulsating there - although much weaker than the energy coursing through your veins. 

"Very beautiful." You break the silence then, letting go of the pendant and looking at Jean again, who nods in agreement, a small smile on her lips as she looks down at the magical bird over her blouse. 

"I thought it would fade away when... Never mind." The redhead shakes her head to pull the thoughts away feeling like a broken record, and before you can think about saying anything on that matter, she is plastering a forced smile on her face. "You should go back to them, have fun."

"You're not coming?" You try with hesitation, trying to read her features, but she makes it impossible as she looks away. 

"I'm tired, I think I'm going to go to my room." She answers, and you figure it's best not to insist, nodding your head slowly in understanding. 

"I see. Goodnight, Jean." 

You offer a gentle smile to the girl, who reciprocates with an appreciative one before saying, "Goodnight, Y/n."

Figuring the redhead wanted to be left alone, you don't wait for her to retreat to her room to go back to the hall where the dinner is being held. When you get there, you see that everyone is still talking. Vision and Ghost are by the window further ahead, apparently arguing about something. At the table, surrounded by Simon, Raven and a few of the men Thor brought with him, Logan and Carol are in an arm wrestling match, and the shapeshifter disguises a smile as she watches the other blonde win the match. At the other end of the table are Storm, Thor, Charles, and Wanda in what looks to be a rather enjoyable conversation. When you see your wife getting up and heading for the drinks table, you follow her. 

"Hey, gorgeous, you come here often?" You flirt as soon as you're close enough, resting your body against the table beside her in a seductive way. Wanda - at first startled by your sudden approach - casts you an equally flirty smirk as she brings her eyes up to meet yours. 

"Not really. I'm actually from another universe." She answers with a dismissive shrug of her shoulders, taking a sip of her grape juice. 

"No way!" You say, exaggerating your surprise. "I'll let you in on my secret then..." You lean towards her to whisper. "So am I."

"Oh wow!" The brunette covers her gasp with her hand, and you hold back your amused giggle to nod your hand in confirmation. 

"I know right? Sounds like a perfect match to me." You flirt again, leaning closer, but Wanda stops your movement with a raise of her hand, an apologetic grimace on her face. 

"Sorry, I'm married." You click your tongue, feigning dissatisfaction at the sight of her wedding ring, and the cute chuckle your wife lets out has you grinning like an idiot. 

"A lucky person there." You attest with a playful tone and honesty lacing your every word, but the brunette shakes her head in disagreement. 

"I'm luckier." She argues with an ear-to-ear grin, her eyes sparkling into yours in that way that makes you fall in love with her all over again. 

"Now that's bullshit." You hit back with humor that makes her giggle. 

Before your wife can say anything else, a third voice grumbles beside you, "You guys are disgusting in every universe."

You and Wanda exchange amused giggles at the comment Carol made. But instead of answering her, the items in her hands catch your eye. "Two glasses, huh?" You point out, and the blonde looks down at her own hands. 

"One's for Raven." She says matter-of-factly, but the way you and Wanda share knowing glances makes her eyes widen. "What? I'm only being a nice person!" She tries to play it off, but her red cheeks give her away and you only laugh some more, deciding to tease her further. 

"Since when?"

"I swear, Wands, you always choose the worst people to date, in every universe." It's Carol's response, ignoring your question completely to look, amusedly, at your wife, who laughs lightly at the banter she got so used to over the years. She tries not to think about missing that too much. Just enjoying its return. So the brunette nudges her friend lightly on the side, and the blonde rolls her eyes at your offended scoff as she walks back to where Raven is. You and Wanda follow her with your gazes until a thought crosses her mind.

"Is Jean alright?" The brunette asks curiously and furrows her brows with concern the moment your good mood crumbles. 

"She's scared. It's not like I can blame her." You tell with a shrug of your shoulders, and Wanda nods slowly, looking around for a moment. 

"None of us can." She agrees not long after, and you mumble in agreement, not really knowing what to say. The two of you fall into a tense silence after that, thinking about everything that could go wrong. But Wanda doesn't let the atmosphere be heavy for long, offering you a disposable plate with a slice of cake and ice cream. "Here's your something sweet."

"That's not what I wanted." You say after you check the desserts she had saved for you, and you bite back a smile at the sight of her almost disappointed frown. "I prefer this one." As you shower her face with little kisses, the brunette's frown turns into a warm laugh, her cheeks becoming increasingly red. The kissing attack only comes to an end when Wanda's mouth finds yours, and you smile against her lips as you kiss her softly. 

And it's with that kiss that you realize how little time you have spent with your wife - with so many training sessions and strategy meetings. Your body becomes very responsive to her immediately, and before you know it, the kiss becomes hungry, your hands roughly on her waist, pulling her close. If the sigh the brunette lets out and her fingers gripping your hair are any indication, she feels the exact same way.

"We should join the others." Wanda breaks the kiss to ask, her breathing was labored as your own. 

"Why?" You ask almost on autopilot, your brain too foggy by the sight of her swollen lips and blown pupils. 

"Because it's either that or I'll drag you to our bedroom." Your wife whispers for only you to hear, making your skin tingle everywhere. 

"I don't see a single problem with that." It's your teasing response, a smirk on your lips as you approach them to hers once again. Her hand comes up to your chest as a smile of her own grows on her mouth. But, instead of pulling you closer, she pushes you away. 

"Table. Now." It's her only warning before she sidesteps you, and you let out a short giggle, spinning on your heels to follow your gorgeous wife back to the table, where some of your teammates are. The term makes you hesitate on your tracks for a second. Teammates. You barely know these people, but it feels like the urgency of the threat you're facing together is enough to bring anyone closer. You try not to think too much about the fear of losing any of them as you sit by Wanda's side at the table.

The rest of the night, hazy memories are made with each other. Some break out into song, others dance foolishly on top of a table, more games are created with bets that upset the losers and boost the egos of the winners. By the end of it, around four in the morning, Wanda is helping you back to the room. She tucks you in the bed and whispers that she loves you after she is snuggled into your side. She kisses your cheek and falls asleep to the sound of your heart beat. Hoping that she gets to sleep to the sound again tomorrow night.

The Necklace

Taglist: @princessprudy @sayah13 @agaymilflover @awkwardmandalorian @bentleywolf29 @evenbeingcrazy1998 @olsensnpm @artisannat @thisischaismagic @wqndanat @madamevirgo @likefirenrain @tearsofglitter @feltlikethat @the-writer-arcane @natashasilverfox @karsonromanoff @aloneodi @lovelyy-moonlight @red1culous @jovialsublimecomputer @natasha-maximoff @iliketozoneout @doudouneverte @druggedduck @notbornbutforged @when-wolves-howl @lifespectator @justyourwritter69 @wandaromamoff69 @awesomelygayasf @nekoannie-chan @diaryoflife

[sergeantsporks]

Lilith and Hunter bonding? (Writing request)

If you’d told Lilith a year ago that she’d regularly see the golden guard at mealtimes, she would have sighed and accepted it as a caveat of her position as head of the emperor’s coven.

If you’d told her a few months ago that the golden guard would be in her parents’ house frequently, she would have called you crazy and frozen you in an ice block.

And yet here she was, getting jumpscared every other weekend when she came home from the museum to see him sitting in the living room, bold as brass.

“Oh. It’s your weekend again.”

Hunter sighed, setting down his chunk of practice wood. “I alternate weekends at Ms. Noceda’s and here.”

“I know that. I simply forgot it was this weekend.” Lilith shuffled her feet. “…making progress?”

“You don’t have to make small talk.”

Lilith sighed in relief, crossing the living room in a beeline for the stairs. “Oh, thank titan. Don’t get wood shavings on the couch.”

“I know.”

It wasn’t that Lilith hated that he was here. It was just that it threw her for a loop having the subject of her old (and in retrospect, frankly a bit ridiculous) rivalry hanging around. It was strange that everything was so civil now, just awkward hellos. It was off-putting to see her father teaching someone who WASN’T Eda or herself how to carve. It was disconcerting for her mother to fawn over her old coworker and shower him with affection (and try to feed him at every turn).

Perhaps she hated that he was here a little bit.

She knew deep down that wasn’t fair.

Sometimes, seeing him around was just uncomfortable. After all, they’d both seen each other at their worst. Titan knew she’d fantasized about killing him once or twice (not that she would ever carry through with it, of course!). Remembering what each of them had done, how each of them had been tricked by Belos… he was a living reminder.

Sometimes, when she saw him, she got a feeling similar to how she felt when she saw feathers sprouting on Eda’s face. She was distinctly certain it was guilt.

After all, knowing what the emperors’ “favor” entailed now… it wasn’t like the signs hadn’t been there. She could tell herself that she’d been focused on her sister, that she hadn’t even noticed the rebellion brewing under her nose, and how could she have POSSIBLY noticed this. But that didn’t make it feel any better. Sometimes she saw the scars creeping up his face and felt a rot spreading through her stomach, traveling into her lungs and throat.

I was a different person then, a worse person who did horrible things. I’ve changed.

That didn’t erase what had happened, though. And a part of her wondered if Hunter held any resentment for that.

Lilith started up the stairs, casting one last look at the former guard. He was steadily carving, but not in any direction that she could see. Just scraping at the wood with his knife. He wasn’t even looking at the wood—he was staring at the door.

“Um…” she started.

His knife slipped, sliding off of the wood and biting into his hand. Hunter flinched, snapping his gaze away from the door, but didn’t make a sound.

Lilith yelped, hurrying back down the stairs. “Hunter—”

He held his hand out and away from himself, holding his other hand underneath it. “I’m not getting blood on the couch!”

Lilith snatched a towel from the kitchen, throwing it to him. “For titan’s sake—are you alright? Really, pay attention to where you’re cutting!”

Back in the coven, he probably would have snapped back. He would have said something snarky and snide, or at least told her to mind her own business. But his shoulders just hunched, and he pressed the cloth to his bleeding hand.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, “I lost focus.

That sick, rotting feeling started in her stomach again, and Lilith looked away.

“It’s fine,” she said stiffly, “Let’s just… get you cleaned up. Come on, in the kitchen.”

Hunter shambled after her.

“Is it deep?”

Hunter removed the cloth. “Uh—kind of. I don’t think my hand’s going to lose feeling or anything, but it’s bleeding a lot.”

Lilith re-covered the wound and clamped the cloth down harder. “Then put pressure on it.”

“I know that,” he snapped, “I’m not stupid!”

That was more normal. “What happened?”

He shifted uncomfortably. “I just wasn’t paying attention.”

“Lost in thought?”

He didn’t respond to that, just glared at his cut hand.

Lilith tapped her fingernails on the counter. Luz had said before that she needed to make an effort to be more… nice… to Hunter, which was probably fair. But she didn’t have the slightest idea how to do that—their only common ground was the thing that they hated most about themselves.

“I nearly destroyed an artifact the other day at work,” she admitted.

Hunter coughed. “You?!”

Lilith nodded. “It was an old mask. Someone unearthed it from the keep. I opened the crate, then nearly dropped it out of surprise.” She opened a kitchen drawer, removing a washcloth and dampening it in the sink. “He did like to keep trophies and mementos.”

Hunter stiffened. “Oh.”

Right. Wrong topic. “I suppose I’m just saying, I understand getting lost in your head and causing accidents as a result. Is it still bleeding?”

Hunter shook his head. “Stain isn’t getting any bigger.”

Lilith removed the towel from his hand and gently dabbed at the blood around the cut with her washcloth. “It’s not too wide, but I’m thinking we should still put butterfly bandages on it. You should see a healer about it.”

“It’s just a cut,” Hunter said dismissively, “I’ve had worse.”

Lilith’s hand tightened on his wrist just a bit. “You have healer friends. You don’t even have to go to a clinic. Just get it healed up. It’s deep enough to scar.”

“Oh, no,” he said flatly, “A scar. What ever will I do.”

Lilith snorted in disgust. “Do you know what your problem is?”

“Oh, please, do tell me all about what’s wrong with me?”

“You subject yourself to unnecessary pain for no reason,” Lilith snapped, “It’s a deep cut, not a scratch. You can go to a healer and get that healed so that you can go back to carving, or you can go through the painful process of letting it go on its own with a risk of reopening the wound, and you’re choosing the second!”

“Well, your problem is that you bother people for things that you could handle on your own! You didn’t use to!”

“I—” Lilith gasped, looking for words.

You didn’t use to

I suppose I didn’t, in the coven.

Lilith took a deep breath. “I did use to handle everything on my own. I didn’t like to ask for help. But a very wise demon once told me that no witch is an island. And if I’ve learned anything from many, many years of history, it’s that we, as a species, form societies specifically so that we don’t have to do everything alone.”

Hunter pulled his arm out of her grip, cleaning the blood off of his hand himself. “It’s not like I’m a total island,” he grumped, “I know I can ask for help, so lay off. Who are you, Luz? This isn’t a big deal. It’s just a cut.”

“It’s a problem that doesn’t have to be there.”

“Maybe.” Hunter folded the washcloth neatly, putting it in the sink. “Where are your bandages?”

“I’ll show you if you promise to see your healer friend at the earliest opportunity.”

“Very helpful of you. What if I do bleed out or get a horrible infection because you wouldn’t show me where the bandages were?”

“Yet again, an avoidable outcome if you just went and saw a healer.”

“Fine. Fine, I’ll see Viney. Promise.”

A small victory, but a victory nonetheless. Lilith puffed her chest out as she retrieved her parents’ first aid kit. A victory Luz would be proud of her for. She plunked the kit down on the table. “Let me see.”

“I can do it.”

“You would do it badly, you only have one hand. Let me see.”

Hunter sighed and put his hand down on the table, letting Lilith push the edges of the cut together and secure them with bandages. She put gauze over the butterfly bandages, then wrapped that up with tape. “There you are.”

Hunter flexed his hand, testing the bandage. “Alright.” He headed back towards the living room and his carving. “What demon told you that, by the way? It certainly wasn’t anyone in the emperor’s coven.”

“No. It was Hootcifer.”

Hunter choked. “Hooty?! You’re taking and giving advice from Hooty?!”

“He can be surprisingly insightful if he has a mind to be.”

[jazz-the-writer]

Drunk Nights & Desperate Kisses

Mafia Maid Service short Story -Bang Chan NSFW-

this was originally named Drunk Mafia chan Idea in my drafts and there were like 2 comments demanding another chapter for this on AO3 is why I am posting this. For my fic's I think if goes without being said they're explicit and mature content only? idk I see warnings on other fan fic posts and I never really do that for my stuff cause I wanna say for the most part you kinda have to be looking for my stuff to find it... anyway if you haven't read my fics before

text like this means they're speaking in korean.

He gets home late one night drunk aF and all he wants to do is stuff his face in her chest and bitch about how all the guys were annoying and all he wanted to do was come home and stuff her with his cock, but he’s too drunk and emotional and all he wants now is to cuddle her and breathe in her scent and listen to her heart while she plays with his hair and he only gets like a demanding five year old when he’s drinking.

The sound of a loud pounding on the door is what woke me up. I don’t remember falling asleep on the couch, the warm shower I took after cleaning the house is what made me feel cozy enough in my pajamas. I had planned to watch a movie while he was gone and the screen was still. Not even ending credits were scrolling it was just suggestions for the next pick. The pounding in the door sounded louder and that was when I stumbled out of my seat and went for the door. A chilly wind from outside waking me up more as I saw Chan with his arm slung over the shoulders of another man. He was quiet and to the point, asking if I could take care of the rest, as he handed Chan off to me. After the door closed I couldn’t help the squeak of surprise at the feeling of Chan taking a deep breath in at my neck. He seemed heavier in his drunken state, pressing me against the door, nuzzling into my neck.

“Smells’o good”

“I think it’s best if we get you to bed”

I honestly tried, practically begged him to let me take him to bed. Some way or another he kept finding a way to change our course. He’d lick at my neck or grab at my backside while I stumbled to take him to his room. Instead he lead us to the couch, sitting in my spot and tugging me on top of him, he pulled me in and kept taking in deep breaths. I had tried my best to hold back the noises as he traced over my chest with his lips and tongue. The nights had gotten hotter and tonight was especially hot. He made it difficult to avoid his mouth and the thin pajamas I had on were no help. It was when his teeth bit into my skin that I let a whine out and bucked my hips into his.

“Tha’s M’good girl”

“Chan please”

It was no use, my body betrayed me, he had me whining and moaning as he marked me. His lips were a dark pink from all that he had done. I only saw them after he pulled away from another mark he’d left. My eyes teared up and I was whining for him to stop. He stared up at me with his glossy eyes. why did he look so innocent?! He had been anything but innocent with his mouth. His tongue had left a trail that I was still trembling from. Here he was staring up at me, begging me to fold, I couldn’t stop myself from pressing a kiss to his warm mouth. He was so needy, his hands gripped at me tighter, while his tongue continued to violate me in the most sensual way. I couldn't help the soft whines I let slip, his hands grabbing at me, he was pulling me in closer. His fingers dug into my thighs as I bucked into his hips, he tasted like liquor, I’ve only seen him drunk a few times before this. He didn't usually go out drinking, at least not that I had noticed, and we never really spoke about the way he behaved when he did drink. The first time was before we had sex, he had stumbled into my room and shook my bed, he had begged me to make him some ramen. Looking back at the memory it was very obvious that he had been staring at my body. He was even a little overly thankful like a five year old when he wrapped his arms around my waist. Hugging me while he nuzzled his face into me repeatedly saying’ thank you’. It made me giggle back then. His needy and sloppy kiss is what pulled me back, an embarrassing string of saliva connecting us, after pulling away from him my hand quickly went up to wipe at my mouth. His eyes were glossy and looked up at me in awe and the blush I felt over my face made everything so much warmer. His hands pawed at my body, squeezing at my back side, feeling over my chest and then his fingers slipped up to wrap around my neck. He pulled me in for another filthy kiss, his tongue continuing to play with me swallowing the desperate whine I let out, and I couldn't help it when my hips bucked against him again.

“there’s nothing to feel if you do that baby girl. M’not the best at drunk sex” His words came out in a mumble, he sounded so cute when he was drunk, I was so used to seeing him calm and collected. It felt like there was a prominent shift in the dynamics, he seemed more demanding and less focused, there was a more primal urge to him.

“I don’t care, I just- I need to feel you” we were so close, lips almost pressed to each other, he was more unfiltered and his grip so much tighter. He was more unpredictable, forcing a small gasp from me as he gripped on to me and stood up, he was mostly steady for the walk and I tried my best to not distract him. My arms were around his shoulders, before he found the small hallway table and dropped almost everything off to set me down and mouth at my neck. His fingers traced over my thighs while he bit down onto my neck and left sloppy marks on me. It wasn’t long before he picked me up again and forced another squeaky noise from me. The walk to his room was more of a stumble as he fell to the bed on top of me, tugging off my clothes as best he could, he was surprisingly more impatient and whiny when he got like this. The last time he got like this I ended up with most of my clothes undone and his head pressed flush to my almost naked chest. He had laid his body completely on me and his arms were around my back while I held him and played with his hair. I couldn’t tell if he was embarrassed or not by the drool he’d left on my skin when we woke up. It hadn’t bothered me, I had no idea how cute I thought it was until I was giggling to myself while I wiped it away with my shirt. The next thing I knew I was the one walking out looking messy while he made breakfast in just his tank top and sweats.

This was different, he seemed more interested in taking off more than he did last time, his mouth pressed a deep kiss to my lips before he slipped down to mouth more at my neck. His hands were more rough when he tugged at my clothes and gripped at my skin. I couldn’t help the small moans and whines from the delicious pain he left. He bit down on my hip before tugging at my shorts, there was a sting of pain and I heard the fabric rip as he pulled on them, his hands worked at the clothing before tossing it onto the floor. His warm hands soothed the sting of his harsh movements as he fit himself between my thighs. He hadn’t made it this far last time and I didn’t want to get my hopes up. His mouth felt warm, his tongue licked at me carefully, he seemed different now that he was between my legs. In my attempt at control I tried to hold back the small noises I made. His hand pressed flat to my abdomen and I could feel myself trembling at the feeling of his tongue inside me. His soft hair tickling my thighs, I couldn’t control the whine that left me, his mouth slowed down. A long drawn out moan leaving my throat, it felt like he was savoring the taste of me, my hands moved to hold him by his hair. His tongue slipping out to lick at my clit I couldn’t help the whining, the filthy noises his mouth made against me, I tried to stop myself. I desperately tried not to call out his name, his hands holding my hips in place, his tongue making everything so wet.. My hands hadn’t been in his hair long before he pulled away and bit down on my hip again. The familiar sound of his belt coming undone had made my skin go cold. His warm mouth finding mine in a filthy kiss, my taste still on his mouth, while his fingers pushed into me. He pulled away only to press his forehead into my collarbone before I felt his warm and heavy cock pushing into me.

“Fuck, m’so hard, baby I dunno if I can last long. You feelso good”

The moment happened so fast before I could process it. His teeth practically sunk into my collar bone, one hand slithering up my torso to gather my wrists and pin me down, one of his hands slid down to grip at my thigh. He had never been so forceful and it had me writhing in a dizzy mess of delicious pain. His hips rocked into me quicker, his mouth marking me while I continued to whine out for him, I was struggling to breathe. A loud smack in the air, the rough way he pulled away from me had somehow brought tears to my eyes. His gaze on me was glossy and he had slowed his hips almost to a stop. I felt overwhelmed and his gaze made the burning in my chest so much more intense. He watched as I gasped and struggled to move my hips toward his. I craved for his warm finish, he stared at me so intently that I couldn’t read him, even now his stare was blank and seemed like he was hiding something. His forehead pressed to mine as he pushed deep into me while I arched my hips into his. The brush of his lips on mine, the warm breath teasing me, he hadn’t kissed me in so long.

“Tell me what you want baby, can’t help if you don’t say anything”

I had not been above begging even so it was embarrassing to do so, I’d never admit to it, but I loved his kisses. There was no hesitation once he asked me to beg. In a desperate voice it was all I could to muster ‘kisses’, ‘want you’, ‘want your kisses’ all while whining and wriggling my hips into his. I could hear him but in the moment all I was focused on was the loud pounding in my chest and the blood rushing through my ears. In my daze of pain and pleasure his low hum of ‘I love it when you beg Fr’me’ it didn’t take more than a few more thrusts. His thumb rubbed lazy and pressured circles into my clit while he drank in my moans and whimpers. In a high pitched whine I came all while he stayed close to me, his lips still close to mine after I gasped into his kiss. He had whimpered and trembled into me, his breathing shaky as he hid his face in my neck, only a deep sigh from me as I felt his warmth inside me. I trembled into him and I felt the sting in my wrists as I tried to get a hand free. He tightened his grip as he came, I could still feel the aftershocks of my orgasm pulsing around him, he was still so hard inside. His grip fell away from me as he grabbed at my hips and lazily rolled to his back and brought me with him. My wrists felt sore as I pressed my palms to his chest. I couldn’t help it as I continued to tremble and rock my hips into him. My vision was blurred through my watery eyes and my chest heaving as I shakily laid on his chest. My body was spent, my muscles were on fire, the marks he made were what felt the most painful. He kissed at the top of my head and I nuzzled into his damp chest.

“I want you again” his words came out in a pant, before I could reply with how tired I was, he sat up abruptly. A whine of pain leaving me, my thighs burned, everything was still so sensitive. He had been so eager he didn’t realize how rough he had been with me until the moment he looked down at me. His fingers brushed over his marks on my neck and chest. The bruises on my thighs and wrists were still so fresh the skin just looked red and irritated.

“Y/n, why didn’t you tell me I was hurting you?” He held my hand in his as I hid my face in his chest. Thinking of what to respond with when all I could remember is how much I enjoyed it. It was embarrassing to admit and say it out loud, but then he had me repeat it, the smug look on his face as he stared me down while I said ‘I liked it’ made me want to smack him. All the energy had left my body after everything we did together.

“I want you again too, but I’m so tired.” He pressed his forehead to mine with the same smug smirk on his face as he said ‘I can wait’. He’d rolled us around and fixed the sheets. I thought I’d have time to recover and his hand on my hip had been comforting until I felt his fingers spreading between my thighs. My abdomen was sore and I couldn’t help but rock into his fingers. I knew as soon as I felt his body inch closer he’d want to keep going.

What is he doing to me?

What am I doing with him?!

————————

Kay so this was a very short update. I wanted to do more but I feel like it’s good this way. Of course they had another messy morning and maybe Chan got lucky again who knows? All I know is that all they want to do is know each other, but one think keeps coming in between them actually making any progress, the fact that Chan is so secretive that all he can bring himself to share with her is his body. Y/n is too indecisive and the only thing she really knows is she wants him to have her in every way possible.

Ehh who knows.

There is most definitely an actual plan for a second chapter but it needs so much more work. This is so short but it still took me forever I’m sorry :,)

Also I’m trying to finish and edit a different story I’m thinking it’ll either be my Mafia Changbin or my artsy college boy Hyunjin. We’ll see. I hope this was enough for the two people that commented they wanted more. lol thanks for the comments and reads guys.

[katierosedreams2]

Im not a sissy…5

The school year has just flown by! It felt like just yesterday when I was dressed in my latex maid outfit, covered in cum, getting locked into my new ultra-micro chastity cage. I can hardly remember the crazy year we have had. So many parties! So many cocks! I can’t even clearly remember them all. And I’ve almost completely forgotten what it was like to not be a sissy slut. It feels more like it was a movie I had watched once rather than my own previous life.

If I really think back to when I was a child, I feel more like I was a girl dressed like a boy, rather than an actual boy. It’s weird how that works. Today I woke up excited, It was the end of the school year and Kailey and we had both finished our finals! Even though we partied and snuck into so many bars, we also studied a lot. That was one of the conditions of her parents for us to live in their apartment. We must get good grades. I always felt busy. Between getting ready for each day, studying, partying and cleaning the house, I had almost no free time anymore. 

Today I got up and walked to the bathroom to pee. I slept naked last night. The weather had been perfect to keep the windows open, but not too hot to need to run the AC. I saw my reflection in the mirror as I entered and saw my thin girly body with this small metal thing. Looking down, it was perfectly flat from my view. I looked so feminine. I also looked so skinny! Kailey has had me on a very very strict diet recently. I swear it’s been mostly water, booze, and cum! What has my life become? 

I started the shower and got in to shave and wash my long blond hair. It takes so long to shower, so so many products to make me pretty. But I guess it’s worth it. I do feel pretty! I got out and dyed off with our big, soft, fluffy towels. I then spent a long time drying my hair and then doing my makeup.  I knew I was going to put my hair up in a pony tail and I wanted a more natural look for my makeup. Lots of mascara and natural colored eye shadow, and not too dramatic either. I put my hair in a high ponytail and went to pick out my outfit. It’s going to be an exciting day, a nice day for a party to kick off summer. 

I picked out this super cute black vinyl bikini set and a matching skirt as a cover up and paired it with a pair of Pleaser 6 inch strap heels, also black in color, of course. I laid them out carefully on my perfectly made bed. I then put on one of my maid's uniforms. A short sleeveless dress maid of satin. I slipped into some black pumps and left my room to go start Kaileys coffee as I do every morning. 

She was already up and sitting on the couch watching tv and shopping on her phone. Her make-up and hair were already done to perfection but she was still in her pjs. Pink satin short shorts and a small white tank top. “Good morning girl! How are you doing today!” I called to her from the kitchen as I made us both a cup of coffee. “Hey sissy girl! Wow, you look so cute! Are you excited for today?” She replied as she turned to see me. 

“I’m very excited! Although I have no idea who you have invited!” I spoke as I worked, knowing my time to finish my chores and get ready was very short. “Oh don’t worry, I think you’ll really enjoy our guest!” As Kailey spoke I could hear her smile in her voice. 

I’ve come to learn exactly what she meant. This was going to be a sex party. And with all of this studying we have been doing the last few weeks, I haven’t even had time to even think about sucking a real cock, let alone have one actually rammed down my throat. I could feel the thought making my little clitty leak in its cage. I can’t believe I’m actually excited about this. Excited to suck and gage on a superior dick! To get fucked by men with big thick massive cocks! And get filled and covered in cum! I can’t believe I’ve just become so incredibly horny and desperate that being used to please a real man gives me enough pleasure alone to make me cum!

I’ve only came twice since Kailey locked me in my new chastity. Although the last time nothing really came out at all. I just leaked some clear fluid. I think between the tightness of my chastity cutting off almost all cerculation to my tiny testicals and the hormones I’ve been taking have ruined me for good. I truly just get wet now, and I cum just like the sissy girl I have been forced to become. 

I swayed my hips seductively as my heels clicked against the floor to hand Kailey her coffee. I don't really walk any other way these days. The thought of sucking cock still on my mind. “Thanks Rose! You’re a wonderful sissy girl! Oh and when you make my bed, can you please change the sheets first. I finally had time to use my favorite dildo last night and I can’t believe it but I ended up squirting all over my bed! I pasted out shortly afterward from the incredible orgasm, so I wasn’t able to do it myself!” 

“Lucky you! I still haven’t cum since that club we went to downtown and those four guys took us into that back room.” I said without thinking much about it as I walked away. We both know she’s cum almost every single day I’ve been in chastity. “Oh well I’m sorry to hear that sweetie. You just need more dick I guess!” I could tell she wasn’t actually sorry for me. I know she loves my horny misery. It really seems to turn her on when I’m desperate and denied. 

I’ve gotten so used to this, and have found myself truly giving in, all of my will power crushed, excepting my life as it is. I couldn’t help but agree with her. “I know right!” I spoke almost absent-minded as I walked off to her room to change her sheets. I stripped the dirty sheets off of her bed and I thought back as to how I got here. With Trent forcing me to become a sissy and now Kailey keeping me this way. I can’t even remember what it was like to wear boy's clothes or even leave the house without makeup. The thought frightened me. Leave the house without makeup! Oh god, I don’t think I could ever do that! 

These girly thoughts didn’t scare me. I actually felt comforted by them. As I worked, my mind wondered, and by the time I finished changing the sheets and had the old ones in the wash, my mind was on boys. How many guys were coming over today? How big would their cocks be? How much would they cum? My mind was fixated on them. I’ve come to learn that pleasing a real man's dick is the only way I can get any pleaser myself. 

“You’re thinking about sucking cock aren’t you?!” Kailey shouted from behind. I didn’t know she was there and I literally jumped from surprise! Also, how did she know?? “What?! No.” I hardly got out, not even convincing myself. 

“Ha! You are! I knew it!” Kailey was overjoyed with this fact. “How did you know?” I didn’t even try to fight it. It didn’t even seem worth it. “You start moving extra seductively and you have this cute little smile and this sparkle in your eyes.” She said with this big pretty smile on her face. “It’s super cute! I love seeing just how much you have grown!” 

I could only blush. I felt complimented and proud by what she was saying. I knew I should fight this, but too much of me wanted this. And my wet panties were just another sign of this fact. 

I worked quickly on my chores with the time the party was to start rapidly approaching. We were going to have the party on our very large patio. I worked my butt off making sure everything was perfect, clean, and that there were plenty of snacks and drinks. I was changing out of my maid uniform and into my outfit for the party as I heard a knock at the door, shortly followed by the clicking of Kailys heels to answer it. I could hear her greet the guests and welcome them in. The deep voices of a large group of men filled the halls and I couldn’t help but feel aroused. I have been so horny and I truly have been opening up to accept myself as the slut I have become.

I checked my outfit and hair in the mirror, quickly applied more lipgloss and then rushed out of my room to see our guests! As I turned the corner, I saw 5 guys all standing around Kailey. The shortest of them probably being 6 feet, but most well above that. Even in her heels Kailey was dwarfed by the strong, tall, masculine men. 

There was just enough time for the men to notice me when another knock on the door came. Since I was closest, I’d answer the door. “Hey guys! Thanks for coming! I’ll be right back, I’ll just go get the door!” I said, not even trying to hide my excitement and arousal. I walked as seductively as I could, hoping I was sexy enough to keep all of them staring at my very perky ass. 

I opened the door to a very large group of very tall strong men mixed in with them were some of our girl friends dressed just as sexy and slutty as Kailey and I. “Hey every one! Come in, let’s party!” A wave of cheers was yelled back as a response from the group. The mixture of the men's deep voices talking and the clicking of the girls high heels filled our house instantly. Most men weren’t wearing much, short board shorts an a tank top at most. I could tell none of them were wearing underwear and I couldn’t help but stare at every guy and just be amazed and aroused by how big each one’s dick was! They were completely massive! 

Kailey and I somehow got the large group of people to head outside on to our patio. The weather was warm, but not hot. Our very large hot tube was on a cool setting, so it would be refreshing. The music was good, and the booze was flowing. Before long, all of us girls were grinding and dancing with several guys each. 

I was grinding my ass against a guy's huge cock. He grabbed my hips, forcing me against him, guiding my movements as my vinyl skirt slipped smoothly over his shorts, making his dick throb with every movement. The guy in front of me held my head as he stuck his tongue down my throat, keeping me from escaping his kisses. My hands couldn’t push them away either, as they were both busy rubbing the cocks over top the shorts of the men on either sides of me. I was trapped by these real men, already being used as their plaything, and my little clitty trapped in its cage leaked more than it had in some time. If erections were even possible for me, which they aren’t, I’d be as hard as a rock. 

I was in heaven. I lost track of everything else going on around me other than these four horny men making me feel so small and girly. I haven’t done a single thing to a girl that anyone of these real men are doing to me. I never will. I am a failure as a man. I am a weak sissy girl. A slutty sissy faggot, and the thought couldn’t have turned me on more. I let out a loud moan as I made out with the giant of a man. And as my ass rubbed against the cock desperately trying to turn it on so much that he finally disregards my consent and fuck me so hard. I can’t stand it, my hands frantically finding the waistbands of the shorts of both the guys on my sides. My pretty manicured finger tips gently and seductively pulling down their shorts and wrapping around their huge dicks. They gently rubbed up and down the large hard shafts. The guy behind me saw this and finally got the message. 

“Get this horny little slut over there!” I heard him yell out to the other men. He then grabbed me by my hips and picked me up. The two on my side both grabbed my hands and the guy I was kissing grabbed the hair on the back of my head. They carried me like a little sex doll over to one of the small tables we had. They pinned me down on my stomach. My high heels hardly on the ground, leaving my ass sticking out in the air. As they pinned me down, the guy in front of me threw his shorts down and just as my head hung off the other side of the small table, his massive cock approached my mouth. I eagerly opened my mouth to accept one of the most perfect dicks I'd ever seen. Excited I was going to be used for his pleaser and the pleaser of all the other men. I immediately gagged by it’s huge size as he wasted no time shoving it all the way down my whole throat in one forceful motion. He wasn’t going to wait for me to warm up and I felt his balls slap against my chin from the force and depth of his first thrust. Setting the tone as to how this was going to go.

The two men on my side also wasted no time in redirecting my hands to both of their cocks, forcing me to jerk both of them off. The man behind me also didn’t wait for any consent and pulled up my skirt, pulling my biking bottoms to the side and stuck his raw cock in my tight little asshole as he pinned me down by the small of my back. I had snuck some lube up there right before the party. I had learned from way too many past experiences to come prepared to make men cum. He was so thick though, it felt like I might split in half. And I did my best to try and relax and ignore the pain, but that happening at the same time as the guy shoving his cock down my throat, it was hard to do. He didn’t care though and followed the exact same aggressive approach as the guy in front of me. Forcing it deep inside of me.

All I could do was moan and gag from the pain. I could hardly stand it! I was totally helpless, I was too weak, girly, and pathetic to stop these real men from using me like a slutty sex doll. As much as it hurt, the reality of the gang rape I was being forced to be subjected to was such a turn on. I was leaking so much in my tiny micro chastity, desperate to be used by these men and hoping I could cum as a result of being their cock slave. Maybe their cum can fill my tight little ass as it overfills my mouth and rains all over me. Maybe then I could finally cum.

I was struggling to breathe from the huge thick cock fucking my face, filling up half of my whole throat. Tears rolled down my cheeks and I desperately gasped for air when I could. He didn’t care, he wanted to skull fuck me and he was going to. It was hard to focus on the two huge cocks I was jerk off, but every time I slowed down they had no problem grabbing my small little wrist and forcing me to move at the pace they wanted. Struggling to breathe helped keep my mind off the pain from the intense ass fucking I was getting. They didn’t want to be gentle and were putting me through the roughest fucking I have ever had.

I still tried my hardest to please and worship their big strong long thick dicks. This is all about their pleaser and I wanted them to feel so good. I wanted to make these real superior men cum, cum all over me and fill me up. I’m there cum slut and I’m desperate for it! 

Eventually, I was able to relax enough to get into their rhythm. I felt the guy behind me pounding my g spot over and over again, working me closer to an orgasm. But the taste and feel of the big cock fucking my mouth was what was getting me closest. I don’t know why, but since I’ve been locked in chastity, most of the orgasms I’ve had are just from sucking dick. I’ve even had one just from practicing my blowjobs on my dildo. 

Then I felt it, the cock in my right hand twitch and throb, the man grunted “don’t you dare stop slut!” As I felt him cum, it squirting over my arm, and then on to my back. As he moaned a masculine moan, the man on my left also started to cum and moan. I focused all I could on keeping my rhythm the same for both of them as my small pretty feminine hands stroked the cum out of these cocks. Jerking them off, rubbing up and down, something my micro cock hasn’t experienced in years and never will again. 

The guy behind me then picked up his pace, his breathing got heavier and his massive penis thrusting as deep as it could go. His balls slapping me with such force it stung.  Then he throbbed so intensely and I felt his cum fill my ass. He kept thrusting over and over and I felt his cum starting to run down my legs. 

As he continued to pound my ass, the perfect dick that had been distorting my throat finally started to throb. He finally pulled it all the way out of my throat but just enough to keep his head in my mouth and shot more cum into my mouth than I had ever experienced. I tried to swallow it but I couldn't swallow fast enough. It shot out of my nose and the sides of my mouth. Dribbling down my chin. He slowly pumped the head of his cock back and forth in my mouth, messaging his tip with my tongue.  

The guy behind me finally pulled out and shot more cum on my ass. The large flood of cum he pumped into me spilled down my legs from my gaping hole. I was so close to cumming, so desperate, but I wasn’t able to. In my hopeless desperation I wiggled my ass, begging to be fucked more. 

Finally, as the last cock left my body, freeing my mouth, I gasped for air. I have no idea how long that happened for, or what anyone else was doing during that whole time. I looked up at the tall sexy man whose incredible dick I was sucking. “Thank you so much daddy!” I said without even thinking. He looked down at my cum covered face and said “Thats right you little sissy slut, your lucky to worship my dick. Beg daddy to suck his cock more.” I blushed and smiled “May I please suck your cock more daddy?” Fluttering my long lashes.

“You have to earn it bitch. You have to go on a date with me.” His large authoritative voice 

so manly compared to mine. “What if I don’t want to?” I playfully flirted back, but secretly upset that he would immediately deny me. 

“That wasn’t a question, slut! It was a command sissy girl.” He said in his strong voice as he grabbed my cum coved hand and wrapped it around his still hard cock and forced me to gently stroke it. 

“What do you say faggot?” He’s demanding questioning tone frightened and aroused me. I jerked him off and said, “Please daddy, I want to worship your cock. May I please go out with you?!” I tried to sound as girly and sexy as I possibly could. 

“Tell me how desperate you are for it. Tell me what a slut you are and how desperate you are.” He looked so strong, tall, and sexy and his commands combined with rubbing his cock, the taste and smell of his cum still in my mouth turned me on more and more. I felt an orgasm building up.

"Please daddy! Please, I’m a pathetic little sissy slut. I’m desperate to worship your cock and get your cum! Please let me please your dick! I'll be your perfect little cock slave! I want your dick!..” I was so desperate I was almost crying now. As I rubbed his dick, and verbally degraded myself, it finally happened, I came. It was so obvious because I stopped mid sentence, all I could do was moan and buck my ass like I was getting fucked while it happened. Still jerking off his cock as though each strok was making me cum more. 

As soon as I finished, he grabbed me by my hair, forcing my face to look at him through my blurred vision. He said, “Now you may go on a date with me to worship my cock sissy. Now lick that cum off of you!” He then let go of my hair and walked away. I was left there all alone, covered in cum, and in a cloud of uforia. My heart and mind raced. I haven’t been on a date since I was with Trent! Oh my god, do I like this guy?! I didn’t want to think about that now.

Finally, after I regained my strength, I got up and started to do as I was told. I started licking my whole body clean of cum. This is when I noticed that everyone else also fucked each other and were all just about finished as well. Kailey snapped a photo of me as I licked my fingers clean. 

She then walked over to me, she too was covered in cum. “Hey slut! I heard you had fun, so much fun that you’re going on a date with Mason!” I just blushed “He told me you begged to worship his dick so badly it finally made you came just from that!! How pathetic! You really are a cock slave sissy girl!” She laughed in her cute little laugh. “Here post this super cute pic of you licking his cum! You look so sexy but there’s defiantly something missing, right about here.” She then grabbed my bikini top. “We need to get this little girl some boobs!”

-Katierosedreams Og Cap

[chaotic-super]

Back To Krypton - Chapter 33

Read Back To Krypton on AO3 here!

Lena only managed to get a couple of hours of sleep despite her exhaustion. It’s still sitting heavy in her bones and making her limbs feel like they’re made of lead but she just can’t sleep anymore. She woke up with a desperate need to pee so she ended up going into the bathroom to do so and then while she was there, she showered because honestly, she felt grotty.

She purposefully left the door open so she could hear if Kara woke up. She needs her now more than ever; she can barely even imagine the inner turmoil that must be burrowing into Kara’s brain right about now.

On top of everything that has happened with Astra and The Rebellion, she’s now got to think about the fact that Astra handed herself over to keep her safe. It’s a bittersweet action, one that hurts Kara because of the implications but shows her true love for her niece in the self-sacrificial action she took just because she wanted to protect her.

That’s just one side of things. She’s also dealing with seeing her mother for the first time since she was a child and rather than being the overly loving, perfect mother she remembers, she’s showing signs of the poor choices Kara only found out she made when Kara herself was an adult. She’s seeing a flawed woman instead of the kind, nurturing one she remembers and that can’t be easy.

As soon as she was done having a quick shower, one that made her skin red from how hard she scrubbed it to make sure she was properly clean, she climbed back into bed with Kara, just staring up at the ceiling and thinking about everything that they’re up against and questioning her own decisions.

It’s as she’s still staring that Kara stirs.

“What are you doing?” Kara mumbles into Lena’s collarbone, the woman is sprawled across Lena with a tight grip on her which means she’s thoroughly pinned down.

“Just thinking.”

Kara hums and Lena feels the vibration of it against her skin. “You think loudly.”

Lena tilts her head a presses a gentle kiss to Kara’s forehead, purposefully avoiding a little smudge of dirt still smeared across her skin. “Sorry, darling.”

Kara hums again, shifting her body slightly to make it more comfortable for her to tilt her head upwards so she can press a kiss to Lena’s lips. “It’s ok. What are you thinking about?”

“Everything going on. We have a lot to figure out.”

Lena feels a sigh against the skin of her throat and it makes her shiver slightly. Kara smiles at the reaction, just a tiny one in recognition of what just happened. “Yeah, we do. You smell nice though. Have you showered?”

“Yeah, not too long ago.”

Kara leans back from her like she’s been shocked. “Lena, you shouldn’t have let me get you all dirty again after you just showed. I’ll get you all mucky.”

“I don’t mind. I like cuddling with you.”

Kara rolls her eyes dramatically. “You can have more cuddles once I’ve showered and brushed my teeth. I won’t be long.”

Lena grabs her by her wrist gently as she tries to back away out of the bed, pulling her back and pressing another kiss to her lips. “Take as long as you need, ok? I’ll be right here when you get back and then we should probably go and see if the others are awake.”

Kara nods, smiling again at Lena, always blown away by the way Lena always knows how to make her feel better and how she’s always got room in her heart to be considerate. In a lot of ways it makes her feel less than because she knows that she could spend the rest of her life devoted to making the lives of others better but she’d still never be a fraction of how selfless and graceful Lena is. Mostly, she’s just glad she gets to be so close to her, her light keeping her warm on the coldest of days, a privilege she’s never going to knowingly take advantage of.

Unlike Lena, Kara closes the door softly behind her, Lena’s eyes tracking the movement as she goes, a fact Kara is keenly aware of, Lena’s gaze tender yet heavy on her spine. She is quick to strip down and jump in the shower, letting the warm water cascade over her shoulders and letting it warm her from the outside in.

There are so many thoughts running through her mind at once that she can scarcely focus on one because it’s pushed aside for another one just a moment later, each one demanding her attention and making it impossible for her to properly think anything over.

There is one thought she keeps coming back to though, one that is especially insistent to be seen, one that is simply just her mom.

Alura is a challenge in and of herself. She knows a lot of what’s going on now and while she’s likely going to be willing to help them, she’s not going to be helping Astra or even Krypton for that matter. Two things that are on the same level of importance to Kara as her team and their mission to save all of the aliens on Earth from Lex and his evil plan.

Lex. There’s someone she’s barely thought about the past few weeks. She’s thought of the mission and their goals and the repercussions of what will happen if they don’t succeed but she’s not really spent a lot of time thinking about the man putting everyone she loves on Earth in danger. Lena must be thinking about him though, how could she not? She’s on a mission to another planet, doing insanely dangerous things and pushing herself to her absolute limits because of someone she was once really close with, someone she once loved dearly, her own family, and Kara hasn’t acknowledged that at all. Lena must think she’s a terrible girlfriend.

Then, that’s all she can think about. She’s spent the entire time on this mission monopolizing Lena’s love and care, taking all of the comfort she has to offer whilst offering her none in return. The very thought takes her breath away, the steam of the shower making it all the more difficult to breathe.

She stumbles back out from under the steady flow of water, her feet slipping on her way out because of her disorientation and her panic. She catches herself, just barely, and stumbles over to the sink, her butt pressing against the edge and her hands coming either side of her hips to hold onto it tightly.

Her breathing is heavy, coming out in pants but still, her lungs feel empty and she can’t focus on anything other than her desperate need for air.

Her legs give way and she tumbles to the floor with a heavy thud, one that is loud enough for Lena to hear, even through the closed door.

“Kara? Are you ok? Did you drop something?”

When she gets no response, Lena gets up and knocks on the door, slightly frantically, each knock getting firmer and firmer when she doesn’t get an immediate response.

“Kara? I’m coming in, alright?”

She still gets no response so she does exactly what she threatened to do and what she finds breaks her heart.

On her knees, naked and shivering, Kara kneels in front of the sink, her chest heaving, tears streaming down her face and her hand pressing hard between her own breasts, as though trying to forcibly stabilize her own lungs, something she’s very clearly struggling with.

The room is full of steam from the shower, the water still running, so Lena makes a quick detour to shut it off, pushing the door fully open to let the steam drift out and clear the air as much as she can before she drops herself down in front of Kara, and pulls her into her chest. “I’ve got you, just breathe, Kara.”

“I- I can’t…” Kara trails off, her forehead pressing into Lena’s shoulder sharply, the pressure calming.

“Yes, you can. Just in and out, you can do it, in and out.” Lena grabs Kara’s hand and presses it to her chest, “Feel my breaths, Kara, try and match them.”

Lena purposely takes in deep gulps of air, making sure Kara can feel each one and prompting her to copy her. Over the course of a couple of minutes, her breathing gets better but not perfect but still, Lena is now willing to move Kara, grabbing her around her waist and hauling her up so she can direct her into the bedroom carefully, where she promptly sits her on the edge of the bed.

“You’re ok, you’re safe and I’m right here.” Lena coos into her ear in a whisper, barely audible but strong enough that Kara can latch onto the words. Tenderly, Lena pulls the blankets up around Kara’s damp shoulders, resting them there but not pulling them around her so she doesn’t feel suffocated. “I’ve got you, just keep breathing nice and deeply for me, darling, there you go.”

Lena’s forehead is pressed against the side of Kara’s head, her hair still sopping wet but she honestly hasn’t given it a second thought, she’s just kicking herself for letting Kara be alone when she knew this could happen, it happened with Astra and on the way to Krypton so she should have been expecting it.

“I’m so sorry I let this happen, Kara. I should have been paying more attention, I could’ve—”

“No.” Kara’s voice calls out. It’s shaky but her tone leaves no room for arguments. “S’not your fault. It’s mine.”

Lena finds her head shaking vehemently before Kara’s even finished her sentence. “Hey, no. You’re not to blame for having a panic attack, you’re really not. You can’t help it.”

“I’m sorry.” Kara’s lips tremble and Lena can see she’s just seconds away from crying.

Lena pulls her into her side as tightly as she can and tucks the blankets around her tighter now she’s through the worst of it. “You’re not allowed to apologize for having a panic attack either. It’s not your fault, baby. Not at all.”

“But—”

“No buts, it’s nobody’s fault, let’s just agree on that, ok?” Lena presses her nose into Kara’s skin. She takes note that Kara is pretty clean so she must have gotten pretty far into her shower before she had her panic attack.

Kara sniffs, wiping her nose on her wrist. “Ok.”

“Now, how far did you get with your shower? You’re not dirty anymore so you did your body, did you manage your hair?”

Kara shakes her head sadly, a little ashamed that she didn’t even manage to get through a single shower without having a breakdown.

Lena sees the embarrassed blush spread rapidly through Kara’s cheeks and the way she turns her head down towards the ground. “That’s ok, let me help you.”

“I can—”

“I know you can, but you don’t have to and I want to help so come on, let’s get you up and back into that shower and then after, you can have a nap, I know you get tired after you have a panic attack.”

Kara sucks her lips into her mouth, sniffs again, and nods, her cheeks glistening with a few errant tears. “Ok.”

Lena smiles, triumphant. She gently eases the blanket off of Kara’s shoulders and wraps her arm around her waist, helping her into the bathroom and beside the shower. She starts the water and while it’s going, she quickly strips off, amused by the way Kara’s eyes grow wide but never move away from her boobs.

“Come on.” She guides Kara into the water, stepping in behind her and trying to ignore the way the cold air feels on her butt where the water doesn’t reach.

Kara goes to turn towards her but Lena stops her, immediately pressing her fingers into Kara’s hair, gently detangling it and scrubbing at her scalp with her fingertips. It still feels strange that they can shower without a million different bottles of shampoos and conditioners and shower gels and moisturisers because it’s all in the water but Lena likes it, it’s a lot less clutter free and it makes her want to find a way to add it into her own home when they get back to Earth.

Kara relaxes beneath her touch, the tension rolling off her shoulders and being washed away with the water. It makes Lena smile once again at the sight of it and then she presses a kiss to the back of her shoulder. “Almost done.”

Lena scratches at her scalp for longer than she needs to before threading her fingers through Kara’s long, soft locks, making sure it’s all completely tangle free. “There we go, all done.”

She steps out and lets Kara turn the water off a minute later, giving her the chance to catch her breath and take things at her own pace. By the time Kara has emerged from the tube-shaped shower, Lena has already dried her front off and slipped her clothes back on and is waiting for her with a towel.

With it stretched open, Kara gets the message and steps into it, allowing Lena to wrap it around her snugly. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Lena pecks her cheek.

Lena steps away from her again, this time to get her toothbrush ready with toothpaste squeezed across it in an obnoxiously neat line. “I know you’re only supposed to use a splodge but I can’t resist the aesthetics at times like these.”

“If you can’t have good mental health, then have good aesthetics, sounds healthy.” Kara nods, have face showing nothing but seriousness and agreeance.

Lena has to resist the urge to kiss her again. She loves it when Kara lets herself delve into her darker humour, something she rarely lets herself do because she likes to keep to her image of being the paragon of hope and light and optimism. It’s cute when she lets herself be herself, much more attractive than a woman with a never-ending smile and a half-baked personality, that’s for sure.

“Brush your teeth while I grab you some clothes, you never brought any in here with you.”

“I figured I’d let you see the goods, you’ve seen them now, that’s for sure.” Kara bites out a self-deprecating laugh that makes Lena frown.

“Ok, I’ll just be a minute.” Lena leaves, a little confused and a lot worried.

As she goes through Kara’s pack, she purposefully digs out the softest clothes she can find. They are all pretty similar but she tries anyway because she knows how overwhelming rough textures are for Kara. It can affect her at any time but she’s especially sensitive after a panic attack or when she’s overwhelmed, something she most definitely is at the minute.

Because she’s searching through all of her clothes, Kara ends up finishing up in the bathroom before she’s gathered all of her clothes and she perches back on the edge of the bed while she waits for Lena, half-heartedly drying herself off with the towel.

Lena drops the clothes next to her on the bed and takes the towel off her, gently drying her hair for her.

“You’re too good to me.” Kara sighs, her eyes slipping closed under her tender attention.

“Nobody is good enough for you, Kara.” Lena mumbles, her focus on the towel and Kara’s hair, purposely trying to make sure she isn’t being too rough.

Kara’s mouth twists to one side as her emotions bubble up once again. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a shitty girlfriend.”

Lena is taken aback. Her eyebrows raise and her eyes widen as her jaw drops. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“I’ve been making everything about me for weeks now, I haven’t even been asking how you’re doing. When I was in the shower the first time, I realized that I had stopped thinking about Lex while we have been here and that you’re probably always thinking about him and the pain you must be feeling. I haven’t been there for you in that way and I should have been. I’m sorry.”

The words are wet and stammered by the end and Lena once again scoops her up into her arms, holding her as tight as she dares to with a woman so fragile in her clutches.

“There’s only one person on my mind all the time and that person is right here in my arms. It does hurt to think about Lex and what he’s done, what he’s pushed us to do, but at the same time, I’m almost grateful, in a weird kind of way, because we came here, I’ve gotten to experience so many incredible things and I’ve had the chance to do it with the woman I love, there’s nothing more magical than that and I wouldn’t change it for the world.”

“Really?”

Lena hums the affirmative. “I just wish I could take away all of the pain and feelings being dragged up for you, I know it can’t be easy seeing all of your family again, especially your mother.”

“It isn’t.” The words are hesitant like she’s only just now admitting it to herself as well as to Lena. “I just remember her so differently. I learned about all of these things she’s done a lot later in life and by then they were just words, stories even, it wasn’t real. Now it is.”

Kara begins unfolding her shirt as she speaks, busying her hands. Lena watches her shrug her bra over her shoulders and clasps it while trying to find the right words to respond to Kara’s admission.

“That makes sense. A lot of sense actually. It’s a see-it-to-believe-it kind of situation. Now, you’ve actually got the proof rather than a silly story you didn’t really want to believe.” She helps Kara tug her shirt over her head, helping her arms through the armholes, doting on her as much as she can get away with despite knowing that she’s fully capable of doing it all herself.

Kara eases her panties up her legs and then tosses the pants on the floor, she’s not putting them on now, she’s getting back in bed as soon as she’s got her socks on. “You really get it?”

“I do.” Lena moves across the bed to her own side to give Kara the space to get in beside her.

Together, they lean back against the pillows. Kara presses herself into Lena’s side, her arm lying across her midriff and her fingers gripping at her shirt which causes little wrinkles to form in the fabric but Lena barely spares it a second thought, if it makes Kara feel better then it’s worth it, she can always throw a jacket over the top of it anyway.

“Do you think my mom knows too much?” Kara asks after a while. “We told her a lot.”

“No, I told her a lot. I let my mouth run before rather than thinking it all through properly. I guess coming out of a life and death situation and then being confronted about top secret information isn’t my strong suit.”

“To be fair, I don’t think that’s anybody’s strong suit, except for maybe Alex’s, she seems like the kind to be able to deal with that. We should have let her do the talking.”

Lena presses soft kisses into Kara’s hair. “I think she was too busy holding her wife and daughter, thanking every god that’s even been believed in that she managed to get back to them in one piece. She’s a lot softer than we give her credit for.”

“Probably.” Kara hums and when Lena looks down, she can see Kara’s eyes fluttering closed. Moments like this always drain Kara and so she’s in desperate need of a good nap.

Lena squeezes her tight. “Just go to sleep, darling.”

Kara nods, just barely against the skin of Lena’s collarbone, already halfway there.

-

Lena lies there for a long time, long past Kara’s point of no return where she’s well and truly asleep, mostly because she doesn’t really want to do what she’s going to do but she has to, for Kara, she has to.

With careful movements, Lena eases herself out from under Kara and smooths out her clothes, throwing a jacket over her wrinkled shirt, and heads out of the room, closing the door behind her as carefully as she can so it doesn’t bang and wake Kara up.

She wanders back out to the living room where Alura is sitting, her head in her hands and hunched over in a rather undignified position for someone of her standing.

“Alura?” Lena calls out quietly so as to not startle the woman.

Alura sits up but makes no pretence that she wasn’t just sitting in a pit of her mind’s making. “Lena, how are you? How is Kara?”

Lena sits down on the couch beside her, her body angled towards her. “I’m doing well and Kara is…well, she’s handling things as best she can.”

“You and my daughter are courting, I presume?”

“We are,” Lena says with a hint of joy dancing behind her eyes. Introducing Kara as her partner is something she’s going to have to get used to when they get back to Earth.

Alura looks her up and down a couple of times and it takes everything in Lena to not fidget under her gaze. After a moment of obvious judgement, Alura nods. “You treat her well, yes?”

“Always.”

“Good,” Alura says. “Now, I presume there is something you want to talk to me about? You probably wouldn’t have wandered out here to have awkward small talk with me so what do you need from me?”

Lena clears her throat. “I told you a lot of things before, things you shouldn’t know. Things that can affect the timeline and put the future in danger. Your actions that follow that knowledge being bestowed upon you can make or break an entire planet so I need you to be willing to work with us to prevent catastrophic destruction.”

“It could be that bad?” Alura’s eyebrows pull together in a rather Kara-like manner, or rather, Kara sometimes pulls her eyebrows together in a manner learned from her mother.

Lena swallows down the lump forming in her throat when she thinks about the damage that they have probably already caused. “It could, or we could salvage this mission and everything could be ok. I’m hoping for the best, Kara helps with the whole optimism thing but I can see that at the minute, even she’s struggling to find hope.”

“Kara has always been able to see the best in things. Everything she’s ever done has come from a view I wish I had of the world. I’m not sure where she got it from because it’s certainly not from me or Zor. He’s got a better outlook on life than I have but neither of us could ever match the wonder Kara has for the planet, even when she sees the miserable side of things. We could show her a hundred broken things and rather than dismay, she would simply spend as much time as we would allow trying to come up with solutions.”

Alura gets a look across her face that Lena can only describe as a look of pure, unadulterated love, one only a mother can get when talking about her daughter. Lena can’t help but wonder if her birth mother once got that look upon her face when talking about her, or maybe, even if Lillian ever has, just when she was sure Lena couldn’t see as to not expose her softer side to her. She’ll just have to wonder.

“Kara told me about an experiment she did where she created a project she was working on, an artificial environment to try and save species of bugs from extinction. She even built it for us so we could see it. It was truly remarkable. There are not many young people around that are smart enough and kind enough to come up with something like that.”

“My Kara has always been one of a kind.” Alura can’t keep the grin off her face. “She’s got such a big heart, I’ve always been afraid of the days when it gets broken because the world is much crueller than she can handle.”

Lena shakes her head, a movement so slight that Alura barely catches it. “She’s a lot stronger than you think, she has survived things you can’t even imagine and fought with dangers that neither of us can comprehend. She’s had a hard life, one that you can’t protect her from, no matter how hard you try, and she is one of the strongest people I’ve ever met, probably the strongest. Her heart though, it might splinter or crack or get bruised but I’ve never seen it broken, not even once, and with what she’s lost, it’s truly remarkable.”

“Did she lose us? Zor and I?”

“She lost everything,” Lena responds in barely more than a whisper. “She lost everything she ever loved and somehow, she managed to come through on the other side, a little broken, sure, but she’s made herself stronger for it. I can’t say anything more than that but I need you to know what an incredible, resilient, kind, loved woman Kara is. She may have lost everything but she is my everything and I will do what it takes to protect her, including telling you what I need you to do so you don’t mess up the timeline and make her lose her home in the future in the same way she lost her first home so please, listen to me and work with me.”

Alura looks down at the ground, another movement that is just a mirror of those that Kara is known for. She sighs loudly before looking up. “We can discuss it. I can’t make any promises but I also have my Kara to think of. Your Kara may also be my daughter but I haven’t seen her grow up yet, not the way I have with my Kara, my twelve-year-old daughter.”

“That’s all I ask.” Lena accepts, biting her tongue so she doesn’t say anything more because Alura doesn’t seem to grasp that there is no ‘yet’. She’s never going to see Kara grow up beyond the point she’s at and that very fact makes Lena want to curl up in a ball and cry for them.

Alura takes a deep breath. “Alright, tell me what you need me to do and we can discuss.”

“Ok then. Let’s start with Astra.”

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