#Like just teach man

[seokmins]

A man be in an educating position and tell me (the class) you don't know what a po&am is huh???? You don't know what the CISSP is huh??? You don't know what the -

[chloesimaginationthings]

Michael teaches Gregory the old FNAF technique

[shepscapades]

At long last… the story of how Mumbo Deviates! I realize this is the most anticlimactic response i could've given to the crazy number of asks I’ve gotten wondering how Mumbo deviates and asking how angsty or heartbreaking or dramatic it is… but hear me out okay. The idea that mumbo is just doing Normal, Day-To-Day android stuff and some random mob just. spooks him so bad that he deviates on the spot and never tells a soul is not only Hilarious but it also feels Really in character DLFGKJFGJ

(And so, i stick to my guns about mumbo being spared from angst. silly goofy guy who i love so so much =w=)

[pineappical]

I object.

[arsenicflame]

happy "our marriage is never gonna recover from this" day

[yayll]

~ a little something about Dazai surprising you on your day off ~

Dazai's not by any means an early riser... That is unless he gets to see you that day.

It's 8 AM and he's tapping his fingers against his pant leg lightly, but he's actually really anxious and impatient. He’s waiting for you to open the front door and flash him that life changing smile of yours he’s been coveting for all week. Today’s your day off and he's decided to come over and spend the day with you so he can cherish every single moment, totally not because he’s slacking off work and wants to do the only other thing he does with his life other than avoid his responsibilities: Be the bane of your existence. You also have a nasty little habit of being a workaholic and he's here to break that once and for all. He's completely spaced out now, lips pursed and brows slightly furrowed in thought when suddenly-

You finally open the door. His angel, his everything. He immediately switches his whole demeanor, eyes twinkling as he scans your figure. You’re still in pajamas, and your hair looks messy. You look absolutely delectable for someone who just woke up to 3 missed calls and 10 texts. Dazai smirks as he leans in, wiggling his brows in an exaggerated manner.

"Well look who’s finally awake! What a sleepy little thing you are. Makes me jealous of that stupid bed of yours… Did you get my texts? Come here"

He looms over you in the middle of the doorway, kissing you softly, tenderly and hungrily.

You blink, and before you can catch your bearings you’re interrupted by the softness of his eager lips. If your mouth opens, he’s pouncing. After a few moments of uninterrupted bliss, you pull back, eyes still drowsy and breathing a bit shallow. You yawn, running your fingers through your bedhead.

“Sorry. I, um… was still asleep until now. I was trying to sleep in-”

He gasps, and tilts his head, as if baffled by this.

“Now why would you do that when we have plans today?”

“... We don’t, though?”

Dazai laughs, dismissing your rightful confusion. He knows you guys never discussed plans, he just doesn't care. He lightly pinches your nose in between his fingers.

“We do! It’s why I let you sleep in for a few extra hours before coming over.”

You lazily swat at him, crinkling your nose. He’s swooning! Dazai feels a jolt of electricity through his body upon seeing the way you respond to his doting. Making you flustered is his favorite entertainment, besides suicide of course.

“But it’s 8 AM.”

“Exactly! That’s like half the day."

"... How long have you been up for?”

He rolls his eyes affectionately as he buffs his knuckles on his tan coat, replying with a nonchalant hum.

“Hmm, not important— What’s for breakfast?”

He lets himself into your apartment and you sigh into a defeated smile that somehow still holds affection for this ridiculous man. You follow him as he strides to the kitchen and fold your arms across your chest.

“You know, I’m kinda grumpy right now. It’s too early, Osamu. I need my sleep."

“And might I say you look absolutely stunning when you’re grumpy? How ever did I get this lucky…”

“Keep it up and I’ll get even worse, you goofball.”

Dazai smiles, it’s sly and dangerous. A challenge, he hears? He pretends to think for a moment, his finger placed on his lips as if really contemplating something. He’s just picturing what you’d look like yelling at him. Heavenly, of course. He flashes you a tender smile as if you just said the most romantic thing and curls his arm around your waist, whispering.

“Ooh, then I can’t wait to see worse.~”

You roll your eyes, unable to help the pink hue spreading over your face. Maybe you're still half asleep, maybe you’re just hopelessly in love with him. Either way you’re screwed. You whine with a hint of annoyance.

“Osamuuuu…”

Oh how he loves when you say his name like that. Maybe it’s time for you two to skip breakfast, he already does anyway, but he knows you actually need nutrients to function. He replies in a singsong voice.

“Yeeesss?”

“I’m making pancakes and you are going to sit down and wait.”

You point at the kitchen counter trying to be stern, and of course, failing miserably.

He looks back at the stool and then back at you. He leans within inches of your face, his nose poking yours. He clicks his tongue disapprovingly and winks.

“No can do, cutie~”

You two spend the morning making breakfast, or at least trying to. YOU are trying to, anyway. Everytime you go to gather ingredients, he’s already handing them to you. When your back is turned to him, you feel his arms snaking around you as you flip pancakes unevenly due to the distracting trail of kisses he's leaving down your neck. You secretly smile to yourself whenever you’re not feigning irritation, you know he loves the banter… Why not indulge the poor man?

You serve two plates and sit down, along with two mugs of coffee. Dazai isn’t allowed to have caffeine around you, but once again, you took pity on him today for some reason… or is it his mystifying persuasion manipulation at play here? He takes a sip of his mug and a satisfying ‘Ahh’ releases soon after. He flickers his eyes towards you as you're about to sip yours as well, and it’s like the world stops. His pupils dilate and he watches intently as the rim reaches your lips, resting his chin on his palm as he leans lazily over the counter. He’s like a dog watching its owner adoringly. During his trance-like state, he thinks about how if you lived together this would be his every day routine. He could get used to watching you drink coffee and eat food. You'd wake up next to each other and hold hands as you watch the sun rise. He would tell you how breathtaking you look with bedhead and make you late for work after failing to keep his hands to himself. Maybe then you wouldn't think he's such an impenetrable wall of secrets. He wonders if there's a future where all of that happens... He snaps out of it, and murmurs.

“Can I have a taste?”

You perk up and look over, tilting your head to the side, amused.

“What, the coffee? You have your own.”

He’s so focused now, staring at your full lips, thinking of a proper answer. He wants to tell you that he's never had intimate moments like these with anyone else and he doesn’t know how long it’ll last before his luck with you runs out, that he’s afraid you’ll see right through his one dimensional facade and leave him for good. That you won’t follow him to his untimely demise should he ever fall, so he has to capture every second of it so he can keep you in his mind forever. He has to lock you up in his heart and throw away the key, otherwise becoming a man of virtue loses all its meaning.

Instead, he opts for the less complicated route, the corners of his lips curling up into a coy smile as he places a gentle hand on your thigh.

“No, your lips, dummy. I want to taste the coffee off of your lips.”

There are no words for the audacity of Osamu Dazai and the feelings thrashing inside you when he says things like that. You smile bashfully and look away, unable to accept his shameless flirting.

“You’re so weird, Osamu…”

“Mm, I'm so yours. No takesies backsies.~"

You slowly meet his gaze, his watchful eyes that ooze devotion practically holding yours hostage… God, you are so beautiful to him. Before you can even register it, Dazai scoops you up bridal style and carries you to the living room, laying you down on the soft couch. His eyes darken as he looks down at you, his fingers tracing the outline of your lips. As soon as you show him the look of love that gives him the consent he’s looking for, he doesn’t think twice about it. He grabs your chin and pulls you into a messy kiss. He kisses you rough, his tongue almost immediately sliding into your mouth as he moans into you. His moans turn into whimpers, like he's been starved of touch for far too long and you're satiating the hunger. He needs to taste the coffee you just drank, and he wants you to know exactly how much he's been aching for this moment. For your much needed day off. For you.

He keeps his hand at your chin, pressing you down deeper into the couch with his hips grinding against yours as he tastes the acidity of the coffee along with the honey you sweetened it with.

Finally, when you literally cannot breathe, you pull away with your dazed and blissed out expression, all red in the face just like he loves. You mumble in between pants.

“Wait— So... What exactly was the plan for today?”

He looks up from running his tongue along your jawline and flashes you that infamously deceptive smile he perpetually keeps on his face, tapping his index finger on your cheek. His voice comes out in a breathy whisper.

“Breakfast.”

“.. But we already had breakfast.”

He sighs deeply and his finger ghosts its way from your cheek down to the waistband of your pajama bottoms as he needily mumbles in your ear.

“Still hungry.. I’m a growing boy, you know.~”

You let out a breathless laugh, shaking your head.

"You're going to tire me, Osamu.. Work wears me out enough as is-"

He wiggles a finger at you, face full of sickening desire as he carefully lowers his head down by your stomach, resting his cheek on your soft flesh. He murmurs in that soft pleading way that drives you insane when he combos it with his reverent touch.

"Listen to me, please. No more work talk... No more stressing out your pretty self, okay? I haaaaate demanding jobs. It only takes you away from me."

You look down and simply nod, your eyes trained on the way he looks at you from under his lashes and the soft brown hair that frames his face. Your heart races with anticipation as a smile slowly creeps up onto your lips. You don't need words for what comes next.

For the rest of the day, he makes sure you have the best time off, it's the least he can do as your incredibly attentive and not selfish at all boyfriend! A day where you can shut out all thoughts of work... along with literally anything else that doesn't relate to him.

Unfortunately for you, there is no resting involved on said day. Fortunately for Dazai, you look so cute as you writhe under him for hours on end. That'll get it through your pretty little skull not to work so much.

[kacievvbbbb]

honestly you would think Rayleigh gave birth to shanks the way they are just exactly the same person right down to their alcoholism, penchant for scheming love of sandals and other generally horrible fashion items.

In a world where Mihawk meets Shanks first, he later goes to challenge old man Rayleigh and it all starts to click into place. like "oh you're the reason I'm stuck with that" point to Shanks wearing an outfit a pattern blind person put togther.

[tea-cat-arts]

I simply think this fandom doesn't give Wei Wuxian enough credit for the various ways in which he saved Lan Wangji

[telesilla]

Not gonna go out on this limb on a 25k post, but maybe it’s okay that kids today don’t know as much about using an actual computer as we do/did? Is it useful knowledge? Of course it is. So is using a sewing machine or being able to rebuild your VW with a copy of that one book every VW driver used to have. That’s not the right question—most practical knowledge is useful after all. The question should be “is it relevant to the way people live right now.” “How to Keep Your VW Alive” is a timeless fucking classic; my ex and I kept our copy long after he sold his VW. But I’m not buying a copy now because it won’t exactly help me keep my VW ID4 on the road.

And it’s funny, because I tend to read along with those posts and nod my head, because back in my day we HAD to know all that computer stuff. And then for some reason today, I remembered a conversation my mom and I had with my grandma in the mid 70s when I was a teenager. Grandma made my mom’s wedding dress. She worked at a department store doing alterations on foundation wear, which if you look at 1950s foundation wear, you’ll realize was both necessary and difficult. So she was shocked when I said most of my friends didn’t know their way around a sewing machine. “But how do you make sure your clothes fit?!” Well, Grandma, people don’t wear heavy foundation wear any more and clothes don’t need to be as tailored as they did back in the day—it’s 1975 and the only alterations I need to do is hemming my flares so they just touch the floor when I’m wearing platforms.

Now you can back up and look at the broader picture, the one that says, but your car should be repairable by you as long as you have clear instructions, and you should be able to alter your clothes or make your own, and yes, you should know how to organize the files on the desktop of your laptop. But the fact that for the most part it’s become easier and easier to just not do those things (if they can be done at all) isn’t exactly the fault of Kids Today. And it’s certainly not meeting them where they are or even trying to understand why they feel they don’t need that knowledge if, instead of looking at why they don’t have it and maybe even don’t need it, you just decry their lack of the Deep Wisdom.

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 84

Amity Park absolutely adores her little ghostling, her little Gatekeeper who was of her own ectoplasm, reborn from her own blood in the center of her new heart. She absolutely adores her baby, practically a newborn, being only a year dead! 

So of course she had to gush and boast about her little phantom to the other city spirits! They all got together to gossip sometimes after all. And both Smallville and Fawcett started to gush about their own little ones back! 

Gosh they should set up a playdate at some point, her little phantom could use some friends in the mortal realm. Well some more friends, three is obviously not enough. Oh, Gotham and Bludhaven have come over as well! It’s a playdate then! 

Now if only each of their world’s timelines were synced up, but at least everyone is around the same age! 

[saltpepperbeard]

a mirror/parallel of the snake snack beard scene but it’s ed being grumpy and frowning over something, and stede being like “oh you’ve…you’ve got a little bit of a frown there. here, i’ll get it” and reaching with a hand to softly stroke his fingers through ed’s short beard/caress his cheek until he “gets” the frown away

[mochinon-yah]

Would Dr Ratio be like this? Honestly, I haven't meet him in hsr yet, but he seems like an insufferable man lmaoo

"Go ahead, Y/n, finish it."

He smiled somewhat warmly, yet it didn't calm your anxious heart at all. With how he presented himself, you could've believed that he was one of those genius people. Okay, fine, he was smart. But in your defense, you would believe that wholeheartedly if he didn't do stupid stuff like this to you.

"Come on now, Y/n. I believe our frequently 'tutoring session' have brought you some new knowledge, does it not?"

"Well—"

"Ah, of course it did. I was the one who teach you, after all. There's no way you wouldn't be able to understand them."

His once furrowed eyebrows relaxed a bit as he eyed your figure. His stares, always unnerving. It made you uncomfortable on many occasions. Whether it'd be the stares that had always been there, or the fact that he was now assessing you with some kind of test was absolutely outrageous. Why would he — of all people — put so much interest on you?

"In any case, I assure you that even those simpletons could solve this equation, so no need to fret over it like you're not above them. You'll be able to finish it."

"Oh, really now?"

You weren't a genius like him or even near his intellect, no, you were only a normal person who had an average iq! Seriously, by now, you were just tired of him being all bossy with how you do stuff in life. Even the time and limit you do your bath was managed by him! So, how could you not get angry? It was your time to relax down from all his antics. Ugh.

He was being overly insensitive with your boundaries. But despite you always telling him that, he always thought that it was you being a dramatic person you always were and dismiss every other reasons you had.

"Alright, I have some other errands I need to do, so I expect you to finish the test in 30 minutes. I'm giving you a lot more time than usual, aren't I being so nice now?"

"... if only I could say that about you ...."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing."

You had no choice but to try and finish the test. After all, there was no way out from his stubbornness. He would somehow always know where you were despite you not even telling a single soul about your location. It was scary at first, but now, you just didn't care anymore. In your mind, you just hoped that he wouldn't be as cruel as he would always be.

If this test was not finished in time, you knew that whatever he had planned for you after was not going to be fun.

In the end, though, you did not finish the test.

Time went by too quickly that you didn't notice before he eventually told you oh so nicely. You then ended up getting punished by him. By the end of your punishment, your legs were a little wobbly with how hard he was going. Huft. At least, it felt good when you both did it. Well, except for the fact that he was still teaching you things while going down on you. That part was the most exhausting one.

[dinogoofymutated]

My worst hear me out has gotta be Sabertooth. He's just so big and beefy but he terrifies me. Like I would never. I would just look 👀 but a man with super senses that are probably stronger than wolverine's is gonna notice. I wasn't always like this I swear not until that brief relationship he had with Monet around the Secret Empire era in the comics. He's vile he's wretched he's bloodthirsty but whenever he's on the side of good bc he's being brainwashed or coerced he's just so sweet I can't get over the idea of this giant burly feral man being protective of the one person he cares about. Also just something about the way he calls his women "frail" as a big girl does things to me. ANYWAY GN

OKAY BUT REALLY. I was literally just thinking about him!!!!! UGH like he's obviously mean and definitely not a very hygienic man but he's so??? Like just look at the size difference of his ARMS and her body in that last Pic like JESUS. I know she's obviously pretty skinny but he's a size to where you know he'd dwarf you no matter what size you are. I also love a man who can pick you up no matter what. 120lbs?? 250?? 400?? You can bet ur ass he's picking you up. Just look at the size of him?? The mustles?? Like I get it. I definitely. Definitely get it.

[winepresswrath]

sudden yearning for time travelling teen jiang fengmian lands at lotus pier fic that winds up being about a perfectly nice kid having a varying series of "oh no. i don't like that. that's a lot" reactions.

[lilithofpenandbook]

Literally how do you even respond to that?

[nerdrops]

whenever i’m sad about orioles baseball i think back to this clip from last year where gunnar starts squeezing adleys arm and adley looks like he just had an awakening