#MY BRAIN IS DESTABILISING AT THIS POINT | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

johannestevans · 1 year

Text

not gonna write a whole essay properly formatted etc about it bc i fr cannot be arsed right now but @limonenelieu said to me about reading HAL as a gay man in 2001: A Space Odyssey and i feel like it's broken my brain open, i love it so fucking much, and i wanted to share thoughts

so their initial point was that HAL's voice and manner of speech, particularly his accent and his inflection (esp his neat and clipped enunciation) reminded them of gay-coding discussions in like, disney films and in other movies with gay-coded villains

i agree, and would also add that just the whole idea of like. he is a man (he has a man's voice, they call him he, they think of him as a man) who has literally been programmed to show the Correct Emotions and portray a response explicitly to make his other crewmembers feel more comfortable and at-ease with him.

also the way he speaks and like... this thing HAL does where he asks permission several times before he speaks - lewis compared it to the initial scene in Inglorious Basterds where the n/zi officer is asking permission of the farmer to do things like light a cigarette and sit down etc, and the point is that its the farmer's territory and the officer is a guest in it, but the officer has all the power, and it lays their power dynamic very bare while destabilising the farmer a bit

asking dave if it's okay if he asks a question, then saying it's fine if dave doesn't answer, then finally asking if dave has regrets about the mission - and before dave gives his own answer, being "vulnerable" and saying he had his own anxieties at first

HAL is programmed to make the crewmembers comfortable with him, but this specific manner of making them comfortable by like, asking dave a question in such a way that's really deferential, and makes dave feel like he's leading the conversation or is "in charge" of it?

like it's so similar to me to like... when a wife in the 50s or 60s is asking her husband a question, and she has to couch it in certain ways so he doesn't perceive it as a challenge of his authority or a criticism on his actions, bc she's a woman and he's a man, she's the husband and he's the wife - except in this case like, HAL is a robot (and therefore inherently lesser) and dave is human

like obvs there's so many films where AI is presented as female-coded, and many ppl have written about the politics of techbros' attraction to robots as woman-coded and particularly like, the desire to recreate slave labour and especially forms of slave labour with not just racial tones but also sexualised and misogynistic ones (within the domestic sphere and also re: sex work), and all the anxieties that that comes with?

the techbro's fear of robots fighting back is in many ways a manifestation of their fear of the social order as they see it being overturned - on the one hand, they create robots with sexy or sultry voices, they put them in female bodies they're attracted to, they want a robot that's pretty and subservient in the right way, a robot that will take all the abuse a woman wouldn't these days because of the dreaded feminism, but also that they're allowed to abuse because she's a woman but we can both agree that she isn't human in the same way he is, a man

and obvs those thoughts are further pushed when the sexy robots are given racialised bodies - when they are Black, when they are East Asian, etc, in ways that make them more desirable but also racialise their position in gender roles, and further like, fetishistic views of them etc

(so Her is obviously "falling in love" with a robot, but a film like Ex Machina explores these anxieties far more explicitly)

in 2001, HAL is a man, and he's doing all the labour that the pretty stewardesses were doing on the space station - he's not pretty and he's not right in front of the crewmembers like the stewardesses were, but like. i remember not liking the tone frank used when he was ordering HAL to lower and raise his neckrest when he was laid back on the leather bed, and how it felt demeaning in a way? in many ways because HAL has a personality

things like HAL asking to see the sketches and the idea of this robot taking an interest in art, but also like...

so HAL is a singular eye, right? his character is mostly communicated in the form of his gaze, and his eye represents the whole of his character and his personality, and i was thinking about how for a lot of men at the same seeing 2001: a space odyssey, like

many of them would be veterans, and almost all of them would know a military or naval veteran - and fears of homosexuality in that period were often not of the fruitier, more obvious gay dudes, but like, the perceived anonymity of homosexuality, and homosexuals as a dangerous, hidden underground that seeks to predate on and "turn" or corrupt heterosexual men

the idea that although you might not know his name or his face or have any idea who he is, a homosexual (or multiple homosexuals) might be among you. he might be watching you exercise, or watching you sleep, or taking an interest in you, and you will not know. many gay men obviously fear being looked at as sexual objects, being consumed via the gaze, the way that they look at and consume women

esp bc the stewardesses are presented as similar to the flight hostesses on aeroplanes and w the 60s being such a big period for like, the luxury of this beautiful woman who waits on you hand and foot and whom you can look at and touch and harass and whatever, and she's a mother/wife away from home to comfort you while travelling

the men don't have that on the jupiter mission bc it's not luxury, it's more sparse - instead of a beautiful woman, they have HAL, and instead of a beautiful woman for them to look at, HAL is constantly looking at them

even stuff like HAL reading their lips and the close focus of the camera on their lips as they move?

the language used to discuss HAL is very reminiscent to me too of the ways in which ppl of the period discussed homosexuality - his malfunction, his needing to be corrected, the way dave and frank discuss how his nature has become corrupted and they need to neutralise him, but know tht talking about him where he will hear it will have him resist?

and ultimately what dave does to him is analagous to a lobotomy, something that many gay men of the period experienced as a way to correct what was perceived as a sexual perversion

like it's not about whether HAL was attracted to frank or dave, bc ultimately the fear of gay men is not the fear of a gay man wanting to fuck you specifically - the first and foremost fear is that he is wrong, incorrect, inverse, unnatural, in a way that's unspeakable and is not just about sex, bc it's about his fundamental existence as a man, or a robot you've decided you want to be a man, and the way he's incorrectly fulfilling that role

anyway i liked the flick

#2001 a space odyssey #stanley kubrick #hal 9000 #musings

123 notes · View notes

side-vermin93 · 1 year

Text

So, I was busy staring at the new teaser because my chimp brain demanded it when i found this.

Those are plates, knives and what we can assume to be either forks or spoons although I'm leaning more towards the former. And this points to 3 possible theories.

Option 1: The Worker Drones are mimicking what they believe a prom to be, they may be copying all kinds of Human cultural habits (although not quite grasping the subtleties)

Option 2: This is another flashback like in 'Heartbeat' although the presence of the 'Cockroach' thing says otherwise.

Option 3: Worker Drones are capable of eating and enjoy doing so (They do have tongues from what we can see, and while they are essential for speech they might also be sensory 'organs' maybe for taste-testing for the richer Humans or something?), although what they're eating is beyond me considering any Human food supplies are either nonexistent or so completely stale and rotten that it can't even be called food anymore.

There's a few more images I also found while using my FNAF degree of "Manually pouring over every single pixel of every single frame of every single episode" and i found this

In the scene where Doll crushes the 'Roach we can see some kind of text, at first I thought it was just random technobabble until i read closer.

'It must be [Illegible, maybe 'Eliminated' judging by the letter count although the blur is causing issues] Already'

There could be more text hidden within the scene but I wasn't able to find anything else that stood out as much as this did.

But then, what is Doll? And who is the 'It' in the text? Is she some kind of infiltrator loyal to the company? Deployed to watch over the Drone colonies to maybe find a weakness or destabilise them? Some kind of 'Anti-Disassembly Drone' Assassin built to kill both Workers and any rogue Disassembly Drones that the squad leaders (in this case, J) were unable to kill?

And who, or what is the 'It' some kind of critical structure to the colony? N? Maybe even Uzi?

So I dug further, scrolling further in the video to the ceiling shot in Uzi's room and...

Once again I'm sorry for the poor quality, I'm zooming in on each individual poster and a couple things we can note

Uzi is clearly incredibly shaken by her encounter with the Solver J and Disassembly Drones in general. We can see a frankly ominous drawing of a Disassembly Drone with the characteristic X mark and sharp teeth (posted below)

2. Note the 'Strange Drones Found' newspaper clipping I posted above along with another that I think spells out 'Drone Disappearance' which leads into another newspaper/report I found.

'Gravitational Waves Detected Site 45'

From these newspaper/clippings I have a feeling these were either made shortly before the Core Collapse that wiped out the Humans on Copper-9, or VERY shortly after, most likely in the interim between the Collapse and the appearance of the Disassembly Drones.

Now, dear reader at the moment I'd like to direct your attention to gravitational waves, I'm not an expert in physics can't remember much about it and I will probably make a physicist scream in pain from reading this, but I do remember that gravitational waves are something produced by black holes and other incredibly massive objects.

Atleast naturally. Now this is just me spitballing but I think these 'Strange Drones' Doll's effect on the door, Uzi's mirror breaking, and the newspaper about gravitational waves are all interlinked.

I have a theory that the Absolute Solvers in Worker Drones are either an offshoot of the Company versions, a naturally ocurring 'mutation' in their programming or were stolen by a cadre of rogue Workers and modified by them to fight the Company. It could be what drew their attention back to Copper, it could even link back into that 'Doll infiltrator theory' I was talking about. Alas we don't know shit about fuck and I'm left with more questions than answers.

As for the effect on physical objects, the 'Telekinesis' could be the cause for these gravitational waves, some kind of incredibly advanced gravity technology created by the Solver when needed? I don't *think* it's magic but at this moment all cards are on the table.

Thank you for reading this far and let me know if you also happen to find anything. Im noticing that Glitch and Liam are hiding a tonne of details inside the episodes that we're only just barely seeing. I encourage you to also dust off your "Fnaf PHD of "Manually searching every single pixel for clues"

I'm left with more questions than answers at the moment, and all we can do is theorize and keep digging.

#murder drones #theory #Dusted off my old FNAF skills for this #Looking at all those teasers back in the day are finally paying off!#Haven't brightened the images yet though. There might be more secrets

77 notes · View notes

sawneythelazy · 11 months

Text

Brown Boots month by months snippets!

July

Bloodshot blue eyes, wide, square teeth and the stinking breath of the beast along with the suffocating pressure on all sides of his torso played on a terrifying loop through Oruo’s brain at destabilising speed; then, at the end of it all, the spinning shadow of the Captain cutting death down in its colossal tracks, a god of destruction.

He was the perfect soldier. And now, Oruo owed him his life.

Oruo sniffled, his weakened legs shaking, for the horror hadn’t ended there; that would have been far too easy on him. Following on from his flailing dance with death was the gruesomest scene he’d ever seen, burned into his mind with such shocking clarity he could see it colour for colour even now. Ilse Langnar, or, the headless corpse that once was Ilse Langnar, sat in the hollow of a tree, like some fucked up throne, blood crusted into her cloak and shirt.

He couldn’t think of any of it without a full body-jolting shiver and the ghost of the titan’s grip claiming him. Later back at the barracks he’d written a letter to his little sister Erika, asking for more information on what the occult made of headless corpses and hollowed-out trees, and for her opinion on those omens. He didn’t believe in all that crap, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

In light of the mission’s horrifying events it was a miracle he’d spotted any shift in Captain Levi’s behaviour at all, but still, a tiny voice nudged him to pay attention as the man’s tone again considerably softened as he addressed Petra, and then requested a change to their regular riding formation, placing Petra front left by his side; Oruo’s usual spot for long distance journeys.

“She’s been the Captain’s favourite since she joined man. Haven’t you noticed it before?” Eld muttered, not giving Oruo’s complaint a second thought as they readied themselves for the journey back.

“Yeah.” Gunther echoed, “As far as I’m aware she’s the only one of us that didn’t have to go through that gruelling day of ‘extra’ training.”

The three men shuddered, remembering the horrendous intensity of what they each thought was a one on one combat session with the Captain, only to find out that it was a one on one cleaning session with the Captain to ‘beat out every bad habit’.

After a minute Eld broke the silence;

“She’s pretty fast on horseback anyway, she’ll be good at relaying messages.”

“But that was my spot - I fire the flares, I relay the messages.”

"You can fire flares from any point in the formation.” Gunther said dismissively, mounting his horse.

“Right, it’s not a big deal.” Eld commented, reattaching his blade boxes, “Besides, I’ll bet he just changed it because he assumed you’d be riding back with the medical carts.”

Pfft.

Sure, his whole body ached with bruising from being crushed in a giant fist, and sure, he was shaky on his feet, struggling not to constantly whimper in response to his ordeal, but no fucking way in hell was Oruo Bozad being relegated to the fucking medical carts. Until he was down and out completely, Oruo was an elite soldier and he travelled with his elite squad.

Read here!

#levi x petra #rivetra fanfiction #aot #oruo bozad #eld jinn #gunther schultz #ilse lagnar #original special ops squad

9 notes · View notes

thequietmanno1 · 17 days

Text

TheLreads, Vigilantes ch 104, Replies Part 2

1) “choose your next words carefully furuhashi, i haven’t forgotten what happened to pop”- As an extension of his desire to “become” Koichi and thus, “the hero”, Nomura both flaunts what he’s done to Pop in Koichi’s face (perhaps even hoping for a rage-fuelled attack on himself) and yet still vainly clings to the possibility of “sparing” Pop so he can work on replacing Koichi in her heart. First and foremost, the mission he’s been given doesn’t matter to him at his core, it’s Koichi, and his hogging of the “role” he feels such intense longing for. 2) “Oh I see, you’re going down the self-sacrifice route, you would gladly lay down your life and your identity as a hero if it meant that Pop would be safe. You didn’t even hesitate, and that brings back memories of when you prostrated in front of Soga at the first chapter

…

I wonder if you’re gonna dodge away like that as well”- Though minor, Koichi has upgraded his “apology style” of combat. Now he can dodge and counterattack at the same time!

3) “Yeah, that just shows how much of a true hero Koichi is on the inside. When given the option of causing hurt or sacrificing himself to protect others, he always pick the latter

which only makes McBee even more angry at him”- Like the Internet Troll his creator is at heart, Nomura is one who actively antagonises others to get a rise out of them either with his abilities or his words, so the one thing that most denies and infuriates him is somebody refusing to strike back or properly retaliate like he wants. And in attacking first to get that satisfaction, he leaves himself open to being taken down before he could even really start the fight.

4) “Well I mean, yeah okay that one was expected. He did intend to kill you anyway Koichi.”- Nomura most wanted Koichi at this hospital so he could have a proper battle to the death with him with something Koichi holds as equally precious as Nomura does his self-identity on the line- Pop’s life. Nomura isn’t just pissed as Koichi apparently not getting the memo, Koichi offering to turn and run basically implies that both the things they’re fighting for aren’t worth it, which is just insulting on several levels to Nomura, which is why he makes the impulsive mistake of trying to squash Koichi with his foot rather than his fist.

5) “No point going NANI now McBee, Koichi offered you a way out peacefully, but you didn’t take it. Now you’ll have to face the fury of the cockroach.”- Fitting for a speedster-battle, the real fast Boi nearly ended this conflict in under 3 seconds, if not for Pop’s spectre haunting his guilty conscience.

6) “Oh hell yeah, look at my boy go! Now shit’s about to get good!”- Nomura’s advantage of Overclock enhancing his thinking speed means nothing if he’s not thinking properly in the first place, which makes Koichi the perfect counter to his usual style of fighting.

7) “Oh right, O'Clock can’t operate in mid-air, you require a solid surface to boost from. Koichi knows that, and he’ll take advantage of it.”- Technically, Overclock can operate in mid-air – it’s just useless at letting him actually do anything except fully process how screwed he is at light speed thought“Oh you have no fucking idea Soga. What you heard from Knuckleduster doesn’t make justice on how much that guy refuses to shut the fuck up”- AFO is at least skilled in infuriating and mentally destabilising others with his speeches and monologues – Nomura just destabilises himself with all his speechifying, making it easier for others to get the drop on him.

8) “If he was smart he’d use the monologuing to gain time to breath so he could use his quirk again, but unfortunately that’s asking too much from him.”- Yes, but all that talking would drain oxygen from his brain at the same time he sucked it in, so….

9) “Alright koichi, time to blow his head clean off. One chance, one shot, make it count, make it clean.”- Oh, if only. The biggest obstacle to Koichi winning this fight isn’t anything like the challenge of overcoming Nomura’s speed and various tricks, it’s Koichi getting over his hangups about fighting and learning how to actually hit somebody.

10) “I BET HE DIDN’T SHOT BECAUSE OF YOU, I’M STARTING TO HAVE SECOND THOUGHTS ABOUT IF KOICHI SHOULD STOP McBEE OR NOT.”- I mean, he did shoot. His hand just…jerked his aim to the right subconsciously at the same time. Koichi’s got very good control over where he’s shooting, but that same control becomes a handicap unless he learns to embrace his inner bloodlust and just merc a guy.

11) “OH NO THE INFINITY GAUNTLET KOICHI WATCH OUT HE’S ABOUT TO SNAP”- Nomura’s doubly-pissed now, because he knows Koichi intentionally pulled that punch when he had him dead to rights, and the only reason he’s winning now is that he’s being handled with kid gloves. Sure, he can justify it as being proof of Koichi’s “unworthiness” to be the “hero” like him, but at the same time, it’s implying to him that Koichi doesn’t consider him worth fighting seriously. @thelreads

#my hero academia #bnha #chapter replies #thelreads #bnha vigilantes #vigilantes 104

1 note · View note

hisandsnakes · 8 months

Note

This isn’t really an argument for or against him or anyone else, but Hollywood and many other industries are full of Zionist elites who can have anyone’s career ruined (just look at how many people have been fired so far from other professions, like journalists, simply for saying “Free Palestine” or liking Pro-Palestinian posts). So honestly it’s unsurprising to me why half of celebs aren’t speaking out publicly. Also wouldn’t be surprised if there were more than just career threats across all these industries tbh. I will say though, in regard to P, as you highlighted, he is a Chilean refugee whose own parents were forced to flee (with him as a baby) from a U.S-backed and Isr*eli-supported coup that put Pinochet’s fascist regime in power. He also demonstrated a Pro-Palestine stance back in 2021 when he still had Twitter, so I think we can at least guess where he personally stands. And to be honest, given how many other celebs have been posting neutral ‘both sides’ bs, sharing misinformation and spreading Isr*eli propaganda, I’m glad he’s at least not joining in on all that shit. We also just don’t really need every single celeb to ‘weigh in’ with their geopolitical commentary because most of them are ignorant af and tend to just take publicly neutral positions, which is not helpful, at all... If they can’t take the time to truly educate themselves before speaking or are afraid to speak, then the most helpful thing they can do is to just stop opening their mouths and start opening their purses instead to support Palestinian relief funds.

This also may just be my cynical side, but I really don’t believe that that ceasefire letter which Oscar and some odd-50 celebs signed to the U.S. government is going to do anything at all to make Biden’s administration move. It’s at best a hollow effort. The U.S. government will always, always support, fund, cover up, and LIE for Isr*el and all it’s atrocities. It WANTS Isr*el in the Middle East because they are essentially their military presence there—Biden himself defended Isr*el’s existence back in the 80s for this very reason. A colonial government that has interfered, divided, destabilised, destroyed, and massacred the Middle East for decades is simply not going to bend over to some celebs writing a neural letter politely asking for them to get Isr*el to ceasefire... A ceasefire alone will not end the apartheid and oppression; it’ll just go back to business as usual. Like these celebs are using only 2% of their brains if they think a ceasefire will magically solve everything. Netanyahu must also be tried for his war crimes. The IDF must be dismantled. And the Palestinians must have their freedom restored and ALL their occupied land to be returned to them. They should have included all that in their letter too if they want their gesture to at least be actually meaningful.

All that said, I think the only actual hope is the collective threat of Russia, China, and the global South all stepping in to intervene. The West needs to be threatened at this point because nothing else is working.

(Sorry for this mini-rant in your inbox. Witnessing the world governments’ active support for this genocide is the most infuriating, devastating thing I have ever witnessed in my relatively short lifetime. My heart breaks everyday for the Palestinians.)

Well don’t be sorry because this was very interesting to read and i actually agree with all of it.

Also i didn’t know P demonstrated a pro palestinian stance a few years ago, do you remember what he said ?

Same my heart breaks for the palestinians and i can’t stand the injustice..

Thank you for sharing your opinion and for your insight on this 🤍

(I wish i could say more but english is not my first language so i can’t find the words to express all i want but you did it so that’s good!)

0 notes

mental-health-advice · 1 year

Text

Submission about suicidal ideation

Hi, I hope it's fine to talk about this here and it doesn't trigger anyone, but I don't know who to talk to about this and I'm not an immediate danger to myself I promise. I've had suicidal ideation for... I'd say years, I go to a therapist and since I was doing pretty good lately, we're working on being more in the moment and connecting to my emotions and I've been trying very hard to get better and take good habits, it works to a degree but I've been feeling very suicidal for 3 days now, (1/?)

it comes and goes, when it gets bad my brain feels like static and I can't focus, I was in a meeting yesterday and I felt split in two, a part taking notes, reacting, even smiling and making jokes and the other thinking about how to kill myself. When I came home yesterday I tried hanging myself to a doorknob, I stopped when my vision started greying out, mostly because I don't want to cause pain to my friends and family. I don't even know why I'm like that, I have a well-paying job, (2/?)

great friends, but I feel like I'll never achieve anything meaningful or provide the people in my life with something they can't get from literally anyone else close to them. I just loathe myself and feel like it would take a few months tops for everyone to realize that they don't miss me. I don't dare reach out to my friends in such blunt terms because I know it's irrationnal and it'll hurt them, so I sugar coat it and give 10 disclaimers about how I'm acutally fine before talking about (3/?)

these thoughts, so they don't really worry I think, sometimes I feel like they don't believe me but that must be just me thinking that. I don't know what the point of that message is I just needed this off my chest and to someone who wouldn't judge me or be hurt by it, so I googled for where to talk about mental health anonymously and yous blog came up. Thank you and sorry if this caused any distress. (4/4)

Hey there,

From past and also current personal experience I know that when starting to work on ourselves like for example being more in the moment and connecting more to your emotions, it can cause us to destabilise a bit mental health wise. This can happen for many reasons such as working on things too fast or something being discussed being triggering for us even though it may not seem like it at the time. Due to this and the fact you have been feeling more suicidal since beginning to work on this stuff, I would strongly to encourage you to speak to your therapist about what you have been experiencing suicidal wise, when it first started and how severe it has gotten than how it normally is. Your therapist will then be able to adjust your therapy as needed to help lessen the suicidality you have been experiencing as of late.

In regards to feeling as though your mind is being spilt into two, it may be helpful to try some different grounding techniques to help you to feel more in the here and now and focus more on what is happening around you and consequently slowing your thought process down. Is this something you could try to give a go?

It can also be really helpful to chat to your friends even if it’s just about stuff in general or about if you’re having a bad day. Chatting and keeping in contact with your friends can be helpful as just having that connection with someone can help you feel less alone and in a way like you matter and have a reason to keep being in their lives.

I want you to also know that if you are feeling actively suicidal then it is of upmost importance that you reach out to someone in real time, whether it be with your therapist if they are available, your local mental health team, or calling an ambulance or getting yourself to your local hospital. I know that reaching out in times that you need it most can be scary and hard and especially when you want to so badly act on your urges, but just try to remember how far you have come on your recovery journey and that you do not have to go through any of this alone!

I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going well!

Take care,

Lauren

#mha-lauren #advice #advice blog #mental health advice #anonymous #suicidal ideation #therapy #therapist

1 note · View note

vibrantlifeboringdeath · 2 years

Text

today my brain is a hamster wheel spinning at about Mach 5

Every new thought I have to process either ricochet's off of the outside of the wheel with an ear-splitting ping, or destabilises the wheel to the point of near collapse, but never actually collapses or stops spinning.

The hamster in the wheel was crushed by G-Force almost immediately. No one understands how they got it spinning like that or how to make it stop but everyone sure would like this to end!!!!

#im fine work and family have just been So Much todayt #everything feels like it's going in fast forward I just want to lie down

1 note · View note

inkdemonapologist · 3 years

Text

SESSION TWELVE of the BatIM Call of Cthulhu game, aka Continuing to have a Great Time At The Masquerade! : )

Joey and Bendy destabilised early on, meaning Joey went through the ENTIRE masquerade UNABLE TO STOP SMILING

getting some mixed messages here, Joey

Sometimes u dress ur characters up as rabbits for fun but then you have a lot of emotions about them losing their minds and then u gotta draw them losing their minds while dressed as rabbits... anyway Jack being mind-controlled did NOT help Sammy hold onto his mental stability at this nightmare party in case you were wondering,

ANYWAY HAVE, MORE OUT-OF-CONTEXT QUOTES, UNDER THE CUT

[Sammy is played by me, Joey is played by Boo (inkyvendingmachine), Henry is played by Maf (inkcryptid), Jack is played by Mochi (whatyouwantedmetosee) and Thren (haunted-hijinxer) is our GM!]

[GM] Joey, make a POW roll also... [Joey] Oh, boy, [GM] ...because Bendy was also told to enjoy this party, and you guys just passed a plate of food, and he wants to eat! [Jack] FEED YOUR SON! [Joey] No!!! [Henry] HES A HUNGRY BOY! [Sammy] A GROWING BOY!

[Henry] Henry will look back to see if Moonlight is trying to follow them! [GM] He will see that Moonlight has grabbed onto the railing of the stairs and is hobbling slowly down them. [Joey] *extremely evil-sounding cackling*

[Jack] All Cthulhu Official Dice actually come weighted, to make you fail.

[Henry] Gotta try harder than that, bitch! [Henry] ....that wasn't in character. [Jack] It's in character, but he's only thinking it. [Sammy] That's the golden text you see on the wall if you use the seeing tool

[Henry] My Luck is 68, I don't know what y'all are doing! [Jack] We're spending Luck so that we'll fail! [Sammy] BEING UNLUCKY! I've barely spent any Luck, I'm just NOT A LUCKY GUY

[Henry] Oh, Avedon's here, [GM] There's a gunshot, and he tries to shoot Fowler! [Joey] Um, well, uh, whoops!, rest in peace Fowler! [Sammy] Yeah, that'll sort itself out, let's go! [GM] Moonlight seems to reconsider from telling people to grab you guys, to grabbing Avedon instead. [Joey] Oh! THANKS AVEDON, your sacrifice will, not be thought about in the slightest!!!

[Sammy] Is... weird question, does this room look like it matches the architecture of the rest of the house? [GM] [GM] [GM] ...make a sanity check.

[Sammy] It would be a like, Come on Jack, do you know where you are, shake it off, snap out of it, kind of thing. [GM] Why don't you make a... a.... oh boy, [Sammy] One of my REALLY persuasive social skills?

[GM] This probably just registers to Jack as, Sammy griping about a party, which isn't that strange. [Jack] Yeahhhh, he wants to leave. He always does that. I wanna stay at least a little longer! [GM] That just means it's Jack's job to find them something fun and good to do. [Sammy] Oh boy, [GM] I don't think Jack is being compelled to be aggressive about this necessarily, he just feels like he's Jack at a party, doing the things Jack normally does, and trying to have a good time! [Sammy] Ah, and everyone else is being weird, [GM] Yeah! Everybody's being really weird! You're at this nice party, and now you're in this weird room? The party's back there somewhere! [Jack] I mean not that he's opposed to bein' dragged into side rooms at parties by cute boys, but,

[GM] The table looks like a table that Henry has in his house, actually. [Sammy] Have I ever been in Henry's house? These are questions I didn't expect to need to ask tonight.

[Sammy] Jack, this is weird! You see this is weird, right?! [Jack] Well yeah, it is kinda weird that we're in-- what are we doing here? [Joey] Joey is going to grab Jack's arm, and point to the next door, and go "Party is this way!"

[GM] Peter looks worried... [Sammy] Sammy looks worried too! Well, Sammy looks angry, but in a worried way.

[Joey] Joey is going to scream frustratedly. [Sammy] Is there ink in this room? [GM] There is not. [Jack] Is there a party in this room? [GM] Definitely no, only the party you bring with you.

[Joey] Joey is going to scream again. [Joey] He's also going to kick the door. He might stub his toe. [Sammy] Through all this, Joey is smiling. I just need us all to remember that. [Joey] YES. Also his tail is furiously going. [GM] Bendy is also upset! There is nothing to eat here.

[Joey] Joey is going to try to feed Bendy some ideas, [GM] He doesn't want ideas, he wants food!

[Joey] So.... what happens if you fumble a sanity roll?

[GM] See, here's the silly part. At this point, right? At this point, the best place to do the tasks you want to do, involve either getting the stone out of the room with the safe, or having the staff that Henry is currently holding. [Sammy] So you would arrive, by completely different means, to the same place that we are! [GM] Clearly Joey is inside the safe.

[Jack] Bad and naughty Joey Drews get put in the safe to atone for their sins!

[Henry] Henry is going to channel his inner Joey Drew and round the corner and say "No, sorry about him, we're just here on inspection, we need to check the safe." [Henry] Which is probably a Fast Talk, which I hope it isn't, because my Fast Talk is a 5. [GM] Unless you wanna try to turn that into a persuade somehow? [Henry] I'll do Persuade! [GM] What are you doing to persuade them, rather than just lying? [Henry] *rolls* I failed... I'm gonna push it... [Sammy] *uneasy noises* IF YOU PUSH IT AND IT GOES BAD, IT GOES WORSE [Henry] AH! HAHA! I ROLLED A SIX! [Sammy] THAT'S STILL NOT LESS THAN FIVE! [Henry] WELL IM DOING PERSUADE! [Sammy] That means you have to NOT LIE! [Henry] ....Fuck. [Henry] Okay, uh, there's an emergency, we need the contents of that safe. [Sammy] THATS STILL A LIE??? [Joey] NO actually, THAT'S TRUE! [Henry] It IS an emergency!!

[Sammy] Sammy cannot believe that this is working.

[GM] Bendy does wonder what his plan is for getting out of the safe. This does not seem like a fun party place. [Joey] Um, [Joey] Joey says it's a surprise.

[GM] Henry, the safe does indeed open! And there's a Joey! [GM] Bendy says "Oh wow!" [Henry] Henry tries his best to keep a straight face, like yes! this is exactly what he came here for! [Sammy] (Sammy is NOT keeping a straight face) [Jack] (Straight? In this party?)

[Jack] He's probably saying something like, "What are you doing, he's one of us!" [Jack] And that could go either way. That could mean "No, he's chill, I will persuade you to stop!" Or that could mean, "We are also criminals!"

[GM, as the guards] Then why does he look like the Yellow King's messenger? [Henry] *not missing a beat* We get that a lot.

[GM] Something falls from the sky and lands in front of him. And it's a person! [Joey] Is he alive? [GM] Very much not. [Sammy] How... how Illusion of Living canon-compliant is this Joey...?

[Jack] So... it would probably occur to Jack that this is weird for a party,

[Henry] Joey don't touch it! [Joey] Why not? [Henry] There's runes around it. I don't know if you can touch it. [Joey] Joey's gonna touch it. [Henry] *long-suffering sigh* If you get zapped, I'll tell you I told you so!

[Jack] Jack really wishes we were just back at the party right now, you guys... [Jack] Only bad things have happened. [Jack] Pete's traumatised, Joey's goopy, the Lurker ate all of the snacks,

[Sammy] Can I try to break free from Henry? Sammy's gonna try to run over there. [Henry] At this point, Sam can go, if he wants. [Sammy] Okay, cool. Then Sammy's gonna go and put ink in his mouth! [Henry] Goddammit. I was hoping you were going to check on Joey!

[Joey] You can’t take all of the sanity hits! You have to leave some for other people! [Jack] Says you! You got so many temps!! And an indefinite!!

[GM] Bendy probably is complaining loudly about WHY DID HE WALK THROUGH THE RUNES??? [Joey] Oh! I thought he was going to complain about the party, or lack thereof, [GM] That’s part of not having fun at the party, he’s not into that! [Joey] Well, [GM] This is not a fun party activity!!

[GM] But he doesn’t think it will destroy either of them, if you do it right! [Jack] That’s a nice, way to end that sentence,

[Sammy] Let us hurry! May I take the stone? [Joey] Joey shrugs. [Sammy] Sammy will, uh, attempt to reach inside of... whatever this is, and find the stone. [Henry] Reach INTO your LOCAL boss, and you will find A Friend And Boy,

[Sammy] Is there anything in this room that I can pick up, and then hit him in the head with? [GM] Henry has a stick... uh....there’s a projector.... [Sammy] Can I pick that up? [GM] No, you cannot. [Sammy] It would be REALLY funny if Sammy dropped a projector on someone else’s head. [Sammy] HOW THE TURNTABLES!!!

[GM] ...Can you impale with a rocking horse...???? [Sammy] I don’t want to impale, I want to knock him in the head so he passes out!!! Rest your head, it’s time for bed!!!

[Jack] I don’t think Jack has any plans after this! [Jack] I meant that in the sense that he doesn’t know what he’s doing next, but the way I phrased it, now it just sounds like he’s hitting on Fowler, like, he doesn’t have anything to do after this, are you free? That’s not canon.

[Joey] I don’t know how this will go, [Sammy] Good luck! [Joey] But Joey would like to-- [Sammy] Sammy believes in half of you! [GM] w-which Sammy? wHICH HALF?!

[Jack] I know you said “note.” But my brain at first processed that word as “milk.” [Henry] *laughing* “Did you get my milk, Fowler?” [Jack] He drank the last carton and he didn’t buy more! [Sammy] “I’m going to the store, want me to get anything? *jumps into the lake*”

[GM] Combat Jack! [Jack] *exasperated* He’s not a Combat Boy! Jack is soft and warm, like mashed potatoes!!!

[GM] Norman is wondering to Henry if he oughta be concerned about you all getting what you want out of this. [Henry] .....Maybe.

#call of cthulu: haunted hijinx #joey drew #sammy lawrence #jack fain #when in doubt just keep drawing #tHE PERMASMILE IS MY FAVOURITE THING #we're getting close to end of scenario but boy howdy is everything getting [bass-boosted carmeldansen noises]

125 notes · View notes

snorpington-fizzlebean · 3 years

Text

The Bugsnak Lifecycle

MOTILE PHASE

If the environment is at all survivable, a dormant fragment of snakmatter will split into small snax. These will wander but stay close together in a group, feeding on detritus, carrion and plant matter, beginning to mimic the scents and tastes of these, until they are consumed by suitable hosts so they can multiply and grow. They learn as a collective about what other creatures find good to eat for the purposes of mimicry as they are consumed.

Once the group reaches such a collective mass that roaming is becoming too energetically costly, and a suitable, preferably aquatic location is found, the motile snax will gather and form a single sessile mass that will only form snax when appropriate and necessary.

SESSILE PHASE

As the snax parasitise more hosts, propagate through their systems and return to the mass, it will spread and grow. As it grows, it becomes more able to process sensory information and store and recall memories using repurposed brain matter from hosts, though it is limited by the cognitive abilities of the hosts it has consumed so far. Metaphorically it will usually be one step ahead, but rarely more thanonestep. As such, it will usually favour more intelligent hosts to better its capacity to think as well as to better understand its environment and other species on the planet.

The larger the snakmass grows, the more its surface mimics landscapes found on the planet, incorporating sand/rock/other inert matter to form a protective crust to protect the mass from damage as well as to look more appealing to larger and smarter hosts. It will also begin to mimic the planet's flora, as well as forge somewhat mutualistic relationships with other creatures, such as providing sustenance in the form of unusable waste to real plants in order to take advantage of the sugars they photosynthesise. It will also start to dig deeper into the planet's crust as far as it can before the heat becomes unbearable.

Once the snakmass is large enough that the potential loss of snakmatter is no longer too prohibitive, it will begin to send out independent scout snax that take on behaviours similar to the motile phase, taking advantage of seafaring vessels, flotsam, etc. to disperse them more widely. These scout snax, under favourable conditions, will go on to form snakmasses elsewhere on the planet.

PANSPERMIC PHASE

Eventually, given time and luck, snakmatter will eventually cover the planet. After a sufficiently long period of starvation or near-starvation indicating that all potential hosts have been assimilated, the crust of snakmatter will begin to fragment on a massive scale and destabilise the structure of the planet such that it will disintegrate, much like a smaller biological host.

Snakmatter fragments will enter a dormant state and float through space until they reach other planets. Even if these fragments do not find suitable life on landing, they will often seed planets with the appropriate materials for such life to begin - which may make the planet suitable for snakification at another point, after enough time has passed.

We don’t have a great deal of canon information, so this is my take on it (though I can point to parts of canon that support it, if asked).

#long post #headcanon #bugsnax #theory #there is only one step and it IS carbs

72 notes · View notes

ladyeliot · 3 years

Photo

Dance with me

Request: Anonymous: Hi saw your post for the Valentine’s Day request and that’s really cause that’s my birthday too so yay 😀 anyway how abt a tony x reader exes angstfluff thanks

Pairing: Tony Stark x Fem!Reader

Summary: As is customary on Valentine's Day, a charity gala is held by your company to raise funds, but this year you'll have to face it alone - your ex-boyfriend won't be with you, or maybe he will?

Warnings: Angst and a bit fluff.

Word count: 2712

A/N: Sorry for my spelling and grammatical mistakes, English is not my native language, I am learning.

Valentine’s Day (Prompts)

Your company's annual fundraising party couldn't be more ill-timed. You still didn't understand why it had to be held on 14 February, well you had a pretty good idea. Year after year the upper echelons of New York City and its environs gathered together, more than for a charitable cause, to find the next gossip that would be the most talked about for months to come.

In years past, the only thing that had saved you from the suffering and discomfort you felt every time you walked through the door was your companion, your partner, but that year you had to face all those vipers on your own. The relationship with Tony Stark had come to an end after four years, more than mutually, you took a big part in that decision. Things were becoming difficult for you, it was hard to overcome all the events he was involved in day by day, as well as his constant attempts to save himself from death. You couldn't cope.

It was arguably the most complicated decision you had ever made in your life, there was a long and complex history, your relationship was by no means simple, nor was it easy to begin with, so obviously it wasn't easy to end. You had to endure news that reported Iron Man's disappearance, that he was badly injured and some had even given him up for dead, then everything was solved, but you didn't want to see the day when he really was, you couldn't bear it. It wasn't easy for him either, he was afraid that his actions would put you in danger, so he understood what you were telling him, he accepted your decision and accepted it in the end. You also accepted his decision to go on with his life as a superhero, you could never ask him to do otherwise.

The Frick Collection art museum on Manhattan's Upper East Side was the selected venue for the charity event. It had been ranked for two consecutive years as "one of the most memorable parties of the year" by the New York Times, but your viewpoint was far from those words. Unlike the vast majority of those present you made a rather discreet entrance, you had made the decision to stay calm and leave as soon as possible, so you would have a few drinks, chat with the guests and put the day behind you as soon as possible. After all, it was your duty to get your company's guests to donate as much money as possible to charity.

You could not deny that the atmosphere was not pleasant, visually you found yourself enveloped by numerous pieces of art accompanied by the sweet melody of an orchestra that filled the atmosphere. The architectural elements of the place also generated an escape from the outside world. Generally the conversations were banal, related to work, art, politics or social life, nothing you couldn't cope with, plus the glass of champagne you were holding in your right hand helped with that.

The problem came when they began to notice that you were not accompanied by Mr. Stark on this occasion. Time after time it was your turn to report that the two of you had decided to go your separate ways, and time after time you had to listen to the lamentations, looks of pity, and on several occasions critical remarks about him. What you didn't know was that in the crowd there was a pair of curious eyes watching you.

Your limit was coming to an end, so you decided to escape the atmosphere for a few minutes to get some fresh air, you needed a breather if you were to last a couple of hours in this place. The gardens were just as engrossing as the interior. There was not a single leaf protruding from the vegetation, and the singing of the fountain water professed a relationship in your body, no one could tell you were in the middle of the island of Manhattan.

"Have you given up already?" you closed your eyes as you heard that tone of voice behind you. "I was surprised to see you talking so long with Mrs. Fox, at one point I even thought you were going to spill the champagne on her dress."

Without turning around you smiled at his words, for more than once you had thought of throwing your glass of champagne at them and leaving the place.

"You look beautiful tonight," you felt her voice grow closer. "You've always known I love that dress."

Her body was so close to you that you felt her jacket brush lightly against her bare back. At no time had it crossed your mind that Tony would show up there that night, on the contrary, you thought he would be anywhere else but New York. Taking a breath of air into your lungs, giving yourself strength, you decided to turn around and face him face to face. You hadn't seen each other for months and the last time you did, things didn't go so well, so you hadn't spoken to each other again.

"What are you doing here, Tony?" you asked in a serious tone, which didn't surprise him.

"Assuming this is a benefit party," he began holding out his hands, "I'm guessing drinking several dry martinis, Scotch, champagne, putting up with comments I don't care about and letting them praise me to get my money's worth."

"I thought you hated these kinds of parties," you expounded somewhat uncomfortably at the situation.

"And I do," he stated bluntly, taking a sip of his martini. "But you have to think about charity too, don't you?"

You knew him well enough to differentiate his tones in conversations, you knew when he was using his ironic tone, when he was lying, when he was insecure or when he was speaking from within. On this occasion his words contained extra information that he wasn't telling you, so you opted to give up on him, you had to deal with the people inside that building, you couldn't start a war with Tony right now.

"In that case," you started to walk away towards the inside of the museum, "I hope you enjoy your evening, Tony".

You had left Tony and his dry martini behind, now all you had to do was get through a couple more hours without incident and the day could be over. You picked up another glass of champagne from the tray of one of the waiters and before you could look for a target you were already inside a group of investors of your company showing the best of your smiles.

You kept the thought of him being there from your mind, but it was practically unavoidable for you. You didn't want to destabilise yourself, but it was more than evident that you still felt something towards Tony, feelings don't go away overnight and even more so towards a person you had loved with all your being. He knew it, he had an advantage in that sense, you weren't as good as him at hiding feelings, that's why you chose to stay as far away as possible from your ex-partner. But it wasn't possible.

"Mr. Herbert, Mr. Johnson," as if out of nowhere he joined the group you were conversing with. "Oh, Mrs. Johnson, you look splendid tonight."

Tony's compliments fell on Mrs. Johnson, who blushed when she heard them. Who didn't blush when someone like him told you how beautiful you were? He had a superhuman power over people, and he played it really well.

"Would you allow me to steal Miss Y/L/N from you?" he asked flashing a smile on his face.

"Please," they offered.

"Excuse me," you said with little escape. "I won't be long."

As if you didn't have a word in the matter Tony tackled you, walking a couple of feet away from the group with whom you were getting to close a big deal for the future of the company.

"Tony was about to-"

"Dance with me," he said curtly, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"What?" you asked a little puzzled.

His brown eyes stared into yours. You began to get a little nervous at the intensity of his gaze, so you looked around.

"Dance with me."

"I... I don't have time to dance with you," you explained, gesturing with your hands. "I'm here working, you know that better than anyone."

"I know," he nodded his head without taking his eyes off you. "That's why I'm asking you to dance with me. You know I'm the biggest benefactor of the night. So... dance with me." Tony lowered the tone of his voice, more seductive, one you knew perfectly well.

"Are you... blackmailing me? Or, worse, are you buying me with money?" you asked with a somewhat surly frown.

"I wasn't the one who said you were working," he defended himself. "But looking at it that way... there's no one else here who would get the money out of me."

"I thought you were doing this for charity," you attacked him.

"And I am," he said with all the confidence in the world. "But I need you to give your hand out to please me, too."

Tony offered you his hand along with a slight smile slanted across his face. You were playing with fire, you really would be if you decided to take his hand and surrender at his feet. The night would turn around completely, but what you feared most was how it would end. Inside you two opposing parts were fighting to select the best decision, on the one hand your brain was literally telling you to reject him and get out of there as soon as possible, on the other hand your emotions were screaming at you to take his hand and let yourself go. Whatever you did, you were likely to regret it later, so you chose to regret doing it.

You took a breath and released him by placing your hand on his, which amplified his smile even more. Without a second thought, he led you to the dance floor, where the melody coming from a group of musicians could be heard with more effusiveness. It was relaxed, soothing, inviting you to dance in pairs. Tony gently pulled you to his body and placed the palm of his hand on your bare back, too far south for your liking, on the contrary, you placed it on his shoulder.

"Relax," he whispered inches from your face. "We've done this many times."

"I'm relaxed," you lied in a way he couldn't quite believe, so you tried to justify yourself. "I'm just thinking that I should go with Mr. Johnson to-"

"Oh, you're thinking about another man while you're dancing with me?" he asked cutting you off with mock indignation. "Very nice."

You ducked your face with a small smile, which he himself returned along with an intense stare.

"Did I tell you that you look amazing tonight?" he asked, searching your gaze.

"I think you commented on it when we met in the garden," you said, trying not to fall for his charms.

"Then I'll reaffirm it again," his martini breath reached you. "You look beautiful. Plus you're wearing the perfume I gave you."

Discomfort at his words came back to you, and though you avoided showing it your unconscious inspections of your surroundings, avoiding eye contact gave you away.

"Look at me," he demanded.

As you complied with his request, you realised that you didn't know if you would be able to go through with it. The proximity you were having created an intimate situation that was causing numerous memories and feelings to come to your mind and body. For Tony it might have been easy, but for you it wasn't, mostly because you knew that when it was over you were going to go home, to face the reality that he was no longer present. You were not as strong as he was. You hadn't seen him for months, since you broke up, and you knew that it was going to end up hurting you, so you decided to put an end to that dream.

"I think..." you dropped your hand from his shoulder. "I can't go on."

With a calm step you walked away from him, leaving him alone among the other dancing couples, forced a small smile to dedicate it to those people who waved at you as you passed them and headed back outside, finding a place under the night to regain lost strength, praying that Tony wouldn't show up there again. But he wasn't giving up so easily.

"Are you okay?" his figure appeared behind you.

A lump took over your throat as you heard his voice again. You took a deep breath and told yourself to be as nonchalant as possible about the situation.

"Yeah, I just needed to get some air," you commented impassively.

"Okay, I thought you looked a little uncomfortable," he commented, moving to your left side. "You know, it was just a dance."

"Are you kidding me, just a dance?" you said somewhat offended that he barely noticed. "Okay, fine, maybe it's just a dance for you, but it wasn't for me." You had already started to blurt out everything you were thinking, so now you decided not to stop. "These last few months have been horrible, but I was finally starting to take charge of my life completely, and this is a step backwards, I don't want to fall."

"Fall?" Tony cocked his head to one side, clicking his tongue a little. "Do you...do you think these past few months have been easy for me? Because I reckon you think it has been, that I've been 'enjoying the freedom', as you called it."

Tony reminded you of some of the words that came out of your mouth the last time you met at his house, when you went to pick up your things, a fact that embarrassed you greatly.

"I don't think that," you defended yourself by turning away.

"It seems so," his words were firm, as was the step he took towards you. "Listen, I think you know me better than anyone, and just because I don't have the facility you do to show how I feel doesn't mean I'm not affected by things. In case you're interested to know, I haven't left the lab in five months."

The expression on Tony's face had hardened, as had his words.

"I came here with the sole intention of seeing you, of feeling something again," he clenched his jaw.

"And what position does that put me in?" you asked raising your tone as he did and boring your eyes into his. "You come here, you see me, you feel something and you disappear..."

"Who said anything about disappearing?" he frowned lifting his chin.

"Tony, I don't know with what intention you came here tonight or what you expected to happen," you said, feeling more vulnerable, with a tone of sadness, "but what is clear is that we made a decision and no matter how hard it is, we must accept it. It is clear that there are still feelings, at least on my part, but let's put the past behind us," you paused under his watchful gaze. "I'd better get going."

Saying those words and checking the stiffness in Tony's countenance you opted to continue on your way.

"Wait," Tony stopped your steps by grabbing your arm. "You think I can let you go after what you just said?"

"Enjoy your night, Tony."

That's how for the first time you were brave enough to take back the reins of your life, closing the door to the past and opening a window to the future.

Taglist Open (DM)

MAIN MASTERLIST

#tony stark x reader #tony stark #tony stark x you #y/n #prompts #drabbles #valentine's prompts #valentine's day #tony stark imagine #imagines #iron man #iron man x reader #marvel fan fiction #fan fiction #fanfic #ff #angst #fluff

93 notes · View notes

2manyfandoms2count · 3 years

Text

I love you (not) - Chapter 3

@marichatmay's prompt for today was "dirt", which legally requires Chat to eat dirt, right? Anyway, that happens. His brain is a little distracted, you see. Hope you enjoy!

First | Previous | AO3 | Next

---

Chapter 3: In which the universe might not be working against Chat breaking up with Marinette, but the author sure is

This has gone too far , Chat thought as he marched determinedly towards Marinette’s skylight. However fun lunch at her parents, and then their little movie hangout had been, he couldn’t let this… “relationship” go any further. His speech had been stalled enough, by a whole week and a half, and not entirely because of him; sure, he’d procrastinated it a little, but Nathalie and her zeal for filling his schedule were the main culprits, as well as a couple of ill-timed Akumas and last-minute Kitty section band practises. It was like the universe didn’t want their budding romance to end.

He pushed the thought aside. There was no romance between him and Marinette, or at least, not on his side. Which is why he needed to talk to her: he needed to prevent her from getting too invested in their relationship. She’d only end up getting hurt, and he would never forgive himself for it.

But what if she gets upset now ? A little voice piped up in his head. He came to a halt, and traced back his steps. Then you’ll be there to protect her from the butterflies , the reasonable part of his brain chimed in . He turned around and started walking again.

But what if that doesn’t work? Will you be able to fight with the knowledge that it was all your fault? The first voice nagged again. Yes, since I’ll be able to fix it. Ladybug and I will do what we usually do and save her.

He paced the balcony as the figurative angel and demon bickered on his shoulder, both making fairly good points as to why he should or should not break up with her.

It’s not a real relationship, just ghost her, she knows you have other stuff to do.

That wouldn’t be right and you know it.

What if this is a bad time, though?

But what if this is a good time?

His dilemma was so loud that he didn’t think about what it might have sounded like for Marinette, if she was in her room. His indecision was getting so infuriating that he stopped looking where he walked. Why was this so difficult?

What if you stopped being stupid and realised that you actually like her? The thought blindsided him, and not just because he could have sworn that it had been formulated in Plagg's voice. It caused him to miscalculate his next step, and before he knew it he was tripping on a potted plant.

Both him and it came crashing down with a loud thunk and a yelp, and he realised with horror, as he scrambled to his feet, that the plant it had contained not only had its roots out, but that it had landed right under him, and didn’t look too healthy.

“Crap…” He shot up and tried to repair his mistake, but soon realised the pot had broken in its fall.

He looked around him to see if there was a spare pot lying around, but failing to spot one, changed his strategy. He started pushing the earth into a neat pile to cover the roots and also to make sure the balcony didn’t look too messy. He wondered if there was a flower shop, or any shop where he could buy a replacement container nearby, and if maybe he could just pop out before anybody noticed, what on earth could he even do with all this-

“Chat Noir? What are you doing here?” Marinette had cautiously peeked out of her skylight when she’d heard the commotion, anticipating an Akuma and trying to figure out what to do if there was indeed one, and had pushed it all the way open when she’d realised who it was who’d been lurking on her roof.

Chat Noir panicked as he heard her voice, and did the only logical thing that came to his mind to get rid of the mess: he took the handful of earth he was holding, and shoved it in his mouth.

“No, Chat!!” Marinette voiced the thought that his brain deigned to formulate just as he tasted the dirt. His eyes widened and he spat it out, barely registering Marinette hopping out of her room and coming to pat him on the back to help him. “What on Earth were you thinking?”

“I don’t know,” he wheezed.

“Hang on, I’ll get you some water.” She disappeared through the trapdoor and was back before he could put his escape plan to action. It was just too embarrassing to stay.

He gargled the contents of the glass and spat it out, wincing at the... green taste that remained. There was no better adjective for it. He supposed it was well deserved.

“I’m so sorry,” he said, looking at his feet sheepishly.

“For what?” Marinette asked, before her eyes landed on the plant. The lack of pot and her frantic attempts to help him had destabilised it, and it lied horizontally again. The colour drained from her cheeks. “Oh. Uncle Wang’s Magnolia.”

Chat winced at her worried expression. “Can I do anything to help?”

“I think I might have a pot downstairs that I can replace it with. I just need to be discreet, if Maman finds out that it survived its journey from Shanghai, but that it couldn’t survive a day on my balcony…” Marinette nervously chewed on her bottom lip.

“She’d be rightfully annoyed.” Chat nodded. He felt his guilt pink his cheeks.

“Okay, here’s what we’re going to do…”

Chat Noir wasn’t sure involving him in a plan was a great idea after the mess he’d made, but he followed Marinette’s instructions nonetheless, anxious to repair his mistake.

“There.” Marinette rubbed the dirt off of her hands when they were done with a satisfied smile. There was still tension in her shoulders, though. “I think I might have to hide it a little for the next week or so, just so she doesn’t notice the wilted leaves, but it should be okay.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, don’t worry.” She relaxed a little as she saw his pleading eyes. “Anyway, you literally preferred to eat dirt rather than answer my questions, what brings you here?”

“Oh, erm, I needed to talk to you about, well, erm… us.” Chat twiddled his thumbs awkwardly.

Marinette froze. She’d looked out for Chat Noir during the days after their “date”, and had been relieved not to see him around. She’d prodded the topic slightly as Ladybug, and given his lack of response, she’d concluded that Chat had given up on their relationship, and had filed the whole ordeal in a “we’ll laugh about it someday” part of her brain. She’d thought that the next time she’d see him as a civilian, they’d be back to normal. She realised that she might have been a little too prompt in moving on.

Chat noticed his friend tense up again, and decided he couldn’t go through with his plan. Hey, I came to tell you that I don’t love you and that I’m breaking up with you - and by the way, I almost killed a plant that came from half a world away. Bye! Really didn’t sound so great.

“Us?” Marinette prompted.

“Yeah, us.” Chat shook away his thoughts. “I, er… Realised that I haven’t been in touch much recently, and I wanted to apologise.”

“Don’t worry, I’ve been really busy too, so, I understand.” Marinette smiled sweetly. It did sound like her kitty to not ghost a girl, and maybe this was the moment he would give her a little speech about how packed his superhero life was, and that he preferred not to keep her waiting and-

“Maybe we could get coffee sometime soon?” Chat blurted.

“Coffee?” She tilted her head, her smile tensing a little. What are you up to? The exit was right there!

“If you like coffee? Tea’s perfectly fine, too, or hot chocolate. Or a coke, or anything. My treat.” He patted her shoulder. Why do I sound so awkward? he cringed inside.

“I guess that would be nice.” Marinette blinked a couple of times. “Shall we set a date now, or…”

“Yes! A date! That’s it! The day after tomorrow? 5pm?” I need to calm down, Chat smiled tightly.

“That works for me.” Marinette eyed her partner cautiously. He seemed overly excited. Had there been something in the earth? Should she call some kind of medical service? “Did you have a place in mind?...”

Chat Noir paused. He didn’t go out enough to be able to recommend a café off the top of his head.

Marinette saw his hesitation, decided he was probably more flustered than poisoned, and decided she should probably help him out with his invitation. “I heard le café des chats was quite cute, it’s not too far away… If you’re not allergic to cats.” She added with a twinkle in her eye.

“That sounds purr-fect!” Chat grinned. “Right, so now that we’ve got that settled, I guess I should go.”

“I guess so.” Marinette smiled. “See you soon, then?”

“Yep, later, Princess! And sorry again about the Magnolia.”

She waved his concern away and then leaned on her balcony railing to watch him vault away. Her smile fell when he’d disappeared from her sight, and she realised what she’d just agreed to.

A real date. In a café. With Chat Noir.

This is going too far, she thought as she hid her face in her hands.

#how embarrassing it appears i've written the title wrong on these posts #marichat may 2021 #marichat may #miraculous ladybug #the miraculous tales of ladybug and cat noir #ml #miraculous fanfiction #miraculous fanfic #marichat #marinette dupain-cheng #chat noir #day 3: dirt #elle writes #love you (not)

34 notes · View notes

riversofmars · 3 years

Photo

Sorry for the delay folks, rl responsibilies eating into precious writing time! But here we are, all pieces moving into place as we head for the final showdown, just a few more chapters! Hope you enjoy this one <3

Chapter 13: The Bells

“I’m sorry, Missy…“ Missy couldn’t tell if the regret in Clara’s voice was genuine or not. She was still struggling to catch up with what was happening.

“What are you…“ She stared at the heavy metal cuff Clara had snapped around her wrist. She had been so naive. She should have known Clara had had an ulterior motive when she had asked her here.

“This is my chance to prove myself.“ Clara replied giving her a half smile as she stepped away. It had been a cheap trick, asking for Missy’s help, using the connection they shared. Clara wasn’t exactly sure what exactly their relationship was, Missy had never given her much of an indication one way or another but they had something of a connection. And of course it was something the Emperor was only to happy to exploit once he found out about it. So here they were.

“You don’t have to do this.“ Missy said softly. “I should never have… you don’t need him, just come with me instead. Let me go and…“

“I think it’s a bit late for that.“ Clara cut in, her voice surprisingly bitter. “Just tell him what he wants to know.“

“What is this?“ Missy raised her arm with the cuff but before Clara could answer, the teleport engaged and the world around her disappeared.

Moments later, Missy materialised in a sort of tube. She needed a moment to orient herself. She stumbled out grasping for air and found herself in a dusty stone-walled room. She looked around for clues as to where she was but she couldn’t figure it out. She had been transported somewhere but where? She bent down and gathered a handful of dust from the floor, letting it run through her fingers as she looked around.

“I know you’re responsible for this, Emperor!“ She called into the quiet, just on the off chance someone as listening. Clara has said to tell him what he wanted to know… Whatever she was, she knew it was on the Emperor’s orders. Up ahead a door slid open by itself and Missy tentatively made her way out of the room. “The equipment in that room is consistent with an augmented ultra long-range teleport. So, I'm not more than a single light year from where I was, and I'm in the same time zone.“ She mused out loud as she looked down the empty corridor. There were windows now too and she stuck her head out. All she could see were very high towers, this appeared to be some kind of castle.

“Come on, chop chop, I’ve just been betrayed by the person I thought could help me put an end to you, my day can’t get much worse, let’s see about yours!“ Missy called out but there was no reply. If the Emperor was watching, he wasn’t inclined to talk. That was when she noticed the screens along the walls and she realised something was following her. She set off down the corridor but quickly found herself at a dead end, the last door revealing solid stone behind it. She turned round and found herself facing a hunched over creature, she couldn’t see its face if it even had one, just two pronged hands extending towards her and flies circling around it like they might around a corpse.

“I can’t actually see a way out of this… maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, to just stop running, we’re all done for aren’t we…“ Missy swallowed as she contemplated the futility of her fight against the Emperor. She had been trying for so long and even using Clara had backfired. Maybe it was time she gave up the ghost. She wasn’t sure what would happen when the creature got to her but it certainly felt like death was stalking towards her.

“This is new. I'm scared. I just realised that I'm actually scared of dying.“ She admitted and suddenly, the creature stopped in it’s tracks.

“Something I said? What did I say?“ She mumbled as even the flies froze in mid air. “Why did you stop?“ Suddenly, there was creaking and banging and the castle started to move. The wall behind the door moved aside and Missy quickly stepped into the adjoining room.

Everything after that was a fight for survival and a quest for answers. What was this place? Why had she been brought here? And was there a way out? It didn’t take her long to realise this was a sort of torture chamber, specially designed for her. Exactly the sort of thing the Emperor would dream up. Everything, from the appearance of the stalking creature to the screens on the walls was designed to scare her. An automated haunted house, a mechanical maze.

It took a few more encounters with the creature until she realised that it was the revelation of secrets that stopped it and made the castle reset. That was also when she realised there was just one truth, one secret, she held that the Emperor would care about. One last victory that had eluded him for so long. She couldn’t possibly tell him. Protecting Gallifrey was the last thing she could do at this point and she was determined to do so.

When she finally encountered the wall of Azbantium that separated her from the outside world, the penny dropped at last. She would find a way out, even if it took a while. She’d done this before and she would do it again. She had been following her own breadcrumbs the entire time, she realised. There was a way out. And she would keep going, even if it was futile, even if it was just out of spite, she wouldn't let the Emperor break her.

As Missy smashed her fist into the wall she thought back to the moment that brought her here. Clara’s betrayal. She only had herself to blame. She was only grateful not to be able to remember all of this. Every time, every circle around, it was like the first time. It was only when she saw the stars that she realised how long it had actually been. But now she was so close to escaping. She smashed her fist into the unforgiving crystal and finally, four and a half billion years later, the wall crumbled.

The bright light of the binary suns blinded her, Missy needed a moment to orient herself. She blinked until finally, in the distance, the towers of the capital came into sharp focus and Missy felt her hearts lift with joy. Gallifrey. She was home at last and safe. She had escaped the Emperor’s torture chamber which, as she turned around, folded back in on itself and turned back into her confessionary dial. She bent down to pick it up but froze when suddenly, the noise of a TARDIS materialising sounded behind her.

——

“You’re not sleeping, are you.“ Missy rolled onto her side on the uncomfortable mattress. She was glad that both her and the Doctor were petite, else they would have had no space at all, but the Doctor was still close enough to keep her up with her fidgeting.

“Nope…“ The Doctor admitted and turned towards Missy. She had accepted that they had to get some rest but her brain simply refused.

“Why not?“ Missy asked though she could think of a thousand reasons to have sleepless nights.

“I feel like I’m missing something…“ The Doctor explained, slightly annoyed with herself.

“If you’re looking for a magical solution, Doctor, there isn’t one.“ Missy gave her a sad smile but the Doctor shook her head.

“That’s not it…“

“Then what?“ Missy frowned.

“Clara…“ The Doctor mused and lay back on her bed, staring up at the makeshift ceiling. “She doesn’t fit in.“

“What makes you say that?“ Missy asked, pushing herself up on her elbows.

“With the Ponds and River here… she’s the odd one out.“ The Doctor explained. Having witnessed the animosity between the Pond family and Clara, she hadn’t been able to shake the feeling that she didn’t really belong there. “When I bumped into my Clara, I was alone so I needed someone to travel with me… but in this universe the TARDIS would have been rather crowded already… So why did they ask her along if they don’t like her?“ The question had been bugging her for a while now.

“I don’t see how it matters.“ Missy replied in an off-hand sort of way that gave the Doctor pause.

“What’s your history with Clara?“ She frowned looking over to her.

“What makes you think I have…“ Missy started but the Doctor interrupted her:

“In my universe, you were responsible for bringing us together.“

“I see…“ Missy sighed.

“In my universe, Missy thought Clara and I would bring out the worst in each other, that we were two parts of an ancient prophecy about throwing the universe into chaos. Did you… do you have anything to do with Clara being with the Emperor?“ The Doctor sat up now. She could tell from the way Missy avoided her eyes that she was on to something.

“It was a stupid idea, it backfired…“ Missy knew she couldn’t lie to her but she didn’t exactly want to talk about it either.

“What were you trying to accomplish?“ The Doctor asked shaking her head a little to herself.

“Same as what you just said… I thought she would… destabilise them. Their relationships, their…“ Missy gestured a little but she didn’t really have the words. It had been stupid. “I thought it was working but then…“

“She fell in love with the Emperor as well, she betrayed you and gained her trust like that, didn’t she.“ The Doctor was quick at putting the pieces together and Missy laughed a little. She couldn’t help but be impressed.

“How did you figure that out?“ She asked.

“You seemed genuinely concerned that she would get herself killed with whatever she’s planning.“ The Doctor explained. Missy’s opinion on Clara’s plan hadn’t gone unnoticed. “You care about her at least a tiny bit.“

“That really has no baring on anything anymore, that was a long time ago.“ Missy waved it off.

“How long?“ The Doctor asked as a disturbing thought occurred to her.

“Sorry?“ Missy frowned.

“How long ago was that for you? Cause there is something else that’s been bugging me…“ The Doctor said and Missy sat up as well, she could tell neither of them would be getting any sleep tonight.

“What’s that?“

“Why are you here, Missy?“ The Doctor tilted her head, trying to get the measure of her.

“I told you, to help people…“ Missy didn’t understand why she was asking again.

“No, I mean here, of all places, on Gallifrey. Where you’re right under her nose and she could kill you if she wanted to. Like you’ve said before, there is nothing we can do here, no resources, the royal guards just there, the Quantum Shade… you have no wiggle room. So why not go somewhere where the Emperor’s influence is less… and start your resistance there? It’s what I would have done…“ The Doctor went on to explain.

“Why did you ask how long it’s been for me?“ Missy circled back to her original question.

“Because I think there is nowhere else to go. We’re at the end of time, aren’t we.“ The Doctor revealed her suspicion and Missy’s eyes widened in surprise.

“How do you know that? Not many people do.“

“It seems like a lot of the events that happened to me also happened here, just differently.“ The Doctor realised and got to her feet. She couldn’t sit still anymore. Missy had been through some of the same things she had. “I think if I knew more about everybody’s personal history, maybe I would be able to understand them a little better to make a plan… In my universe Gallifrey was hiding away at the end of time in a reality bubble too, I know because I went there the long way around…“ She looked back to Missy. “So how did you get here, Missy? Where is your TARDIS?“

“I don’t have a TARDIS anymore, Doctor, I didn’t time travel here… but it sounds like you know exactly how I got here.“ Missy gave her a sad smile.

“I’m so sorry, Missy…“ The Doctor didn’t know what else to say.

“I’d rather not talk about it.“ Missy shook her head, she didn’t want to dwell on it.

“Right okay… so when the Emperor calls themselves ruler of the universe, it’s really just Gallifrey, is it?“ The Doctor decided to focus her energies on something productive, rather than dwelling on the misery of the past.

“In this timezone, yes. Keeps her safe from any sort of uprising I suppose, when all other races are dead.“ Missy replied.

“But when I first met her, she’d been to Sontar, there was still blood on her hands…“ The Doctor frowned.

“The Empire doesn’t just exist in space but also time, Doctor.“ Missy swung her legs out of bed, sitting up on the side properly. “Here, in this time, the universe is pretty much over. Gallifrey is the perfect fortress, perfectly safe when so few are able to travel in time anymore.“ She explained. “The generals watch the time streams. Whenever any civilisation that she’s conquered diverges from its predetermined course of obedience she can just jump into her TARDIS, arrive early, and set things right.“

“Right…“ It was the perfect set up, pretty fool proof. The Doctor started pacing, trying to find something useful in the new information.

“She thinks of everything. We can’t go anywhere because there is nowhere to go and without time travel…“ Missy shrugged. “And even if we had it, the Council would be on us like a hawk. Not that anyone can fly her TARDIS anyway…“

“That’s it! That’s where we need to start, Missy, you’re brilliant!“ The Doctor exclaimed as an idea struck. She hadn’t paid enough attention to the world around her. Picking up on the things that were different but also those that were the same or reversed. A plan was forming in her head.

“What?“ Missy had no idea what she was talking about.

“I have an idea Missy, and I need you to trust me. It’s a bit risk but I think this could work. I think I’ve worked this place out at last.“ The Doctor turned to her, full of excitement.

“You’re not making any sense, Doctor.“ Missy chuckled, marvelling at her endless positivity.

“You’re gonna hate this but I’m gonna need to get back into the palace.“ The Doctor gave her an apologetic smile.

“Doctor…“ Missy sighed, it was a terrible idea.

“Gonna need a change of clothes too, and a way in that they won’t expect…“ The Doctor carried on. Suddenly, in the far off in the distance, a bell tolled and both of them froze.

“That’s…“ Missy got to her feet unsettled.

“A Cloister Bell…“ The Doctor nodded, recognising the distinctive sound.

“They only toll when disaster is drawing near…“ Missy said and the Doctor, despite everything, smiled.

“I just thought of a way to get us back into the palace.“

“Us?“ Missy raised her eyebrows.

“Oh yes, you’re coming with me. I will explain on the way!“

——

Drowsily River rolled over in bed, pulling the covers closer around herself. She was cold, falling asleep naked and sweaty, her body had cooled out. She stretched her hand out, looking for her wife to cuddle into her for some warmth but the bed was cold beside her. Sleepily River sat up, slowly she was coming to her senses, her eyes adjusting to the darkness. Her wife’s side of the bed was empty.

“Sweetie?“ She called into the darkness but no response. She swung her legs out of bed and nearly tripped as she got up in her sleepy state but her wife’s absence alarmed her. She found her balance after a few steps and grabbed her dressing gown from the chair by her dresser. “Sweetie?“ She called again, worry sweeping through her, as she walked into the adjoining room. Her eyes fell on the TARDIS, the door slightly ajar. She walked to the door and pushed it open. She breathed a sigh of relief when she found her wife sitting by the console, tinkering with bolts, screws and cogs.

“Is everything okay, Sweetie?“ River asked and the Emperor looked up surprised, she hadn’t noticed her coming in.

“Sorry, did I wake you?“ The Emperor gave an apologetic smile.

“I just turned round and you weren’t there, I got worried…“ River admitted, pulling her nightgown closer around herself feeling cold still.

“Just thinking…“ The Emperor replied giving a dismissive wave to the equipment around her. River smiled a little. Her wife used to do this a lot. When she had a problem to solve, she would retreat into her TARDIS and fix or make things, it helped her focus.

“Is everything okay? Something I can help with?“ River asked.

“Everything is fine.“ The Emperor said getting to her feet.

“And yet you can’t sleep.“ River observed. She clearly was worried about whatever Clara and the Doctor could be up to. Before the Emperor could respond, a bell tolled in the distance and they both froze. “Was that…“

“A Cloister Bell. They haven’t rung in years…“ The Emperor was halfway out the TARDIS before River could even respond. “We are in much greater danger than we realise.“ This was proof that the nagging thoughts, the undercurrent of worry, she had been feeling, were justified.

“Something must be happening.“ River agreed as she followed. The Emperor was already throwing clothes on.

“I'm going to go see the Council.“ She said pulling on trousers quickly. “You stay here.“ She insisted when River went looking for clothes as well.

“But…“ River looked around confused. She had never told her to stay behind before. She tried her best not to feel hurt.

“Seriously, don’t argue.“ The Emperor interrupted her buttoning up her shirt in a hurry. “I need to know you’re safe, you stay here.“

——

“What was that?“ Yaz demanded to know entering with palace’s security office. Ryan and Graham were following close behind. It was the middle of the night, there were off duty, but the entire city had heard the bell.

“A Cloister Bell, Ma’am.“ One of the officers on duty answered as they all jumped to their feet saluting.

“They have been silent for years, give me eyes on the Cloisters.“ She demanded as she stepped up to the screens.

“The sliders are getting increasingly more active. They’re sensing something is wrong, something is going to happen.“ Graham observed as they brought up footage from the Cloisters on the screens. Shapes were moving among the shadows and the fog.

“This is not a coincidence.“ Ryan agreed.

“I’m going to take a team down there. Find out what’s going on.“ Yaz decided. They had to find out what was going on. It was as good a place as any to start.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea? No-one that goes into the Cloisters comes back out.“ Graham grabbed her arm as she walked past them.

“Legend says there is a hidden exit into the city, it could be how the Doctor is getting about. I’m going to check it out.“ Yaz shook him off. They had to find the Doctor. “In the meantime, one of you inform the Emperor and keep guard, the other keep an eye on Clara Oswald.“

——

“What is going on?“ The Emperor burst into the Council chamber with purpose and determination. The Cloisters indicated this was the greatest threat they had faced in years and she wasn’t about to let anything jeopardise her reign.

“Emperor…“ The generals had gathered upon her command, some only filing in after her, some still fumbling with the buttons of their council robes. She wasn’t impressed.

“Wake up you mumbling fools, a Cloister Bell has rung, what is going on?“ She smashed her hand onto the table for emphasis. “You are tasked with protecting the Empire, what is going on? Are we under attack?“

“Nothing, as far as we can tell. Everything is quiet, no unexpected developments across the time streams…“ One of the council members spoke up. “The city is quiet as well, since you went amongst the people, they have grown more… respectful.“

“Are you absolutely sure?“ The Emperor pressed on focusing on him. He seemed to be wide awake at least in comparison to some of the others. They took turns with the night shifts, there was no need for everyone to be present all the time.

“See for yourself Emperor, the time streams are quite, your personal guards have taken it upon themselves to see if anything is the matter in the Cloisters themselves.“ Another general spoke up and by raising his hands from the table, he brought the readings up into the air for everyone to see.

“Things might not be happening yet but they will. The Bells are a warning, foreboding, prophecy…“ The Emperor mumbled leaning onto the table observing the time streams herself. They were right, everything looked completely normal so it had to be something happening here, on Gallifrey. Perhaps it wasn’t such a good idea to wait for Clara to make her move after all.

“If you’re concerned about something happening, we can postpone tomorrow’s celebrations?“ Another general suggested.

“No. That would be a sign of weakness.“ She shook her head vehemently. “Everything will go ahead as planned…“ She straightened herself up again and a thought occurred to her. “In fact, not as planned. Round up ten civilians that have acted out in some way. And Missy. I want Missy.“ She decided.

“What for?“ Another council member asked, sounding concerned.

“Is it any of your business?!“ The Emperor snapped glaring at him. She couldn’t stand people questioning an order.

“I just meant if we should organise anything else or…“ He carried on in a small voice averting his eyes.

“Just do as you’re told.“ She growled. “I’ll be in my quarters, if there is only the slightest change or cause for concern, I expect to be informed.“

——

“You’ve done this before…“ Missy mumbled as they pressed themselves to a pillar to avoid a cloister wraith that headed in their direction.

“So have you…“ The Doctor observed with a smile. “I’m beginning to think we have a lot more in common than I realised. I think you lived through some of the same things I have, our roles are reversed in some ways.“ She explained as they waited for the wraith to move past. She had been so focused on wrapping her head around her own situation, she hadn’t really stopped to think about the history of the people she encountered.

“So it seems…“ Missy agreed. As she looked back at the Doctor she felt unsettled. They had dressed her to look like the Emperor and it was unnerving.

“About the confessionary dial…“ The Doctor said quietly as they carried on. “I came the long way around too…“ They ducked behind another pillar. “What kept you going? There was this moment when I realised what had been done to me, what they were trying to do… and I was about to give up…“ In a way, knowing Missy had been through the same thing as her, allowed her to talk about it for the first time.

“But then you realised you couldn't just let them win. You had to keep going.“ Missy agreed with a small smile as they carried on.

“Who were you doing it for?“ The Doctor asked.

“Myself? I knew I had to be better than this. I couldn’t let her win.“ Missy shrugged.

“I guess you’re right… I thought I… I thought I was doing it for Clara at the time, she had just died and I wanted to find a way to save her, so I had to get out of there… but now, I just think I wanted her to be proud of me. I wanted to be the Doctor. And I couldn't let the bad guys win.“ The Doctor answered after brief consideration.

“So here we are, braving the Cloisters.“ Missy chuckled. “But at least you know what you’re doing it for.“

“Not just for River, if that’s what you think. I wouldn’t be surprised if she had already managed to find a way out of her predicament, she doesn't need me to look after her, not really. I’m doing it for the same reason as you.“ The Doctor felt the need to explain.

“Cause we can’t let the bad guys win.“ Missy smiled and reached out for the Doctor’s hand. “I am so glad that I met you, even if we never should have, not really… I’m really very grateful that you are here, whether we succeed or not.“ She gave her hand a squeeze and the Doctor smiled.

Suddenly up ahead the wraiths grew more agitated. In the distance they saw an elevator door slide open, revealing several royal guards, weapons drawn.

“Right, let’s see what’s going on down here.“ The Doctor recognised Yaz’s voice immediately and she pulled Missy behind a pillar.

The Cloister Bells tolled again.

——

River was pacing their quarters, she couldn’t sit still. The situation was unnerving. There was no way you could go back to sleep so she had gotten dressed instead. She could just go to find her wife, this was ridiculous. There was no immediate danger.

“Right, that’s it.“ She huffed getting fed up and made her way to the bedroom. She walked to her dresser where, among other things, she kept her gun. It had been a while since she’d last made use of it but she appreciated her wife’s concern for her safety. It couldn’t hurt to carry it.

She was just exchanging the battery pack, when she heard the door to their quarters open. Her wife returning at last, she thought, as she breathed a sigh of relief.

“In the bedroom!“ She called out and put the gun back on the dresser.

“That’s quite the invitation… Mind you, I’ve always been curious what it would be like to sleep with myself.“

River whirled around and found herself face to face with an exactly copy of herself. In the distance, another bell tolled.

#Mirror Universe #fanfiction #river song #river x thirteen #river x the doctor #thirteen/river #thirteen #thirteenth doctor #missy #thoschei friendship #femslash #gallifrey #cloister wraiths #Through the looking glass #dark!13 #action/adventure #space wives #yowzah

12 notes · View notes

thisiswhatascientistlookslike · 4 years

Text

Spies in Disguise: A Feminist Perspective

Fia – 15/07/2020

Last week, I watched Spies in Disguise, an action comedy animated film that came out in December 2019, with characters voiced by Will Smith and Tom Holland. Before I begin criticising it, I should say that I absolutely loved it. The characters were interesting and well developed, the story was easy to follow and fun to watch, and most of the jokes made me laugh out loud.

As an aspiring scientist myself, I was especially pleased to see the way science was brought into the spotlight (something which unfortunately doesn’t happen often in entertainment media) by Tom Holland’s character, Walter. I loved Walter. He was probably my favourite character of the film. Not only is he always passionate about science (which probably made me very biased in his favour), he is also wildly different from your typical action film male character. Walter is not physically strong and relies entirely on his brain to get him out of dangerous situations. He is also very close to his pet pigeon Lovey, adores pigeons in general, and enjoys Korean romance dramas. And most importantly, he repeatedly refuses to fight fire with fire and always seeks the solution that involves the least violence. Basically, nowhere near the traditional masculinity often depicted in this genre. He sets a precedent. I feel a tremendous joy for all the little boys and all the men who watched this film and came out of it having found a role model in Walter, knowing that they did not have to aspire to yet another representation of toxic masculinity, and instead could find joy in being kind, in being weird, in being themselves.

But I can’t help but wonder – what if Walter had been a woman instead of a man?

This is not to say that there are no inspiring women in important roles in this film. The spy agency itself is led by a woman, Joy (Reba McEntire), who keeps her cool in the tensest of situations and who recognises her mistakes. There is also Marcy (Rashida Jones), a BIPOC woman and funny, cat-loving badass who strives to fight for what’s right and refuses to allow corruption in the agency – although she does spend a large part of the film wrongly accusing the main character of being a villain and thus accidentally becoming somewhat of a villain herself.

Furthermore, Walter’s “tragic backstory” is centred around him being bullied and belittled by his peers for being a “weirdo” due to his passion for science and his creative, out-of-the-box approach to design weapons made to destabilise the enemy rather than harm them; he finds himself marginalised due to his open-minded pacifist views that the spies do not share. But now imagine how much stronger a female Walter’s backstory would have been. For every scene in which Lance (Will Smith) tells Walter that he has no place in the fight, we could have had Lance tell her to be a good girl and go back home – and of course her calling him out on his sexism and refusing to be treated like that. Because she would be a girl who grew up hearing and experiencing the stigma and stereotypes about women not being smart enough to go into STEM fields. A girl who has been through years of not being taken seriously, whether this be as a woman in science or as a passionate pacifist. A girl who has had enough of all of this and is determined to prove her ideas are worth listening to.

Another one of Walter’s character defining aspect is his close relationship to his mother, Wendy, who supports his ambitions for a less violent world – it would have been very interesting to see Wendy supporting her daughter’s aspirations knowing what it will be like for her as a woman in a largely male dominated field. Similarly, at one point of film Marcy has a conversation with Walter in which she tells him she knows how much it’s hurt him to be viewed as a “weirdo”, and she promises to help and support his work at the agency. This is another plot point that could have been made more interesting had Walter been a woman – Marcy could have directly empathised with her, woman to woman, which in my opinion would have given a lot more depth to both characters and to their relationship (we love to see women supporting women!)

And of course, as a role model, female Walter would have inspired so many. Seeing a woman in science would have been crucial not only for all the little girls watching, but also for all the boys to understand that science is not just for them, as is unfortunately illustrated by the astonishingly disproportionate ratio of male to female scientists that children are exposed to in their education (of course, there are and always have been women in STEM fields, but it is not enough for them to only exist if they are never actively talked about and presented as role models). It would also have been amazing if the film addressed the discrimination that women face in science – not to mention, action films in general are an extremely male dominated genre, so to have a woman in a main role would also have been very important and empowering from that perspective.

However, although it features a very diverse cast of characters, Spies in Disguise never once actually addresses sexism or racism – perhaps the film exists in an alternate universe where these have been eradicated, or never existed in the first place (this universe already gives humans the possibility to shape-shift into pigeons and back, so who knows)? But regardless of whether or not it is an alternate universe, the film was made to be viewed by an audience that lives on this version of Planet Earth, where these problems are unfortunately very much real and present in every aspect of our lives – so really they should have been discussed, even without a female Walter.

And even though I do love Walter as he is and think he already makes a huge difference, even though the film did not address the systemic social prejudice that most of the characters would have encountered in our universe, I still believe that seeing a woman as a confident, passionate, and dedicated scientist would have sent a very necessary message to all members of the audience and would have no doubt inspired many.

But in the end, Spies in Disguise remains a wonderful film as it is – and hopefully in the future we will have greater and better representation of science in pop culture, and especially of women in science.

21 notes · View notes