#Me @ myself learn to write and filter

[lightbulb-warning]

i used to freehand comics all the time as a child and since the part i liked was the drawing part i would just draw panel after panel because i didn't want to stop drawing to think about icky icky words, plus the story TOTALLY still made perfect sense! to me! and noone else, but 'whoooo caaaaares omgggg its not like comics and sequantial art are a communicative meeediummmm lmaoooooo'. i spent my entire childhood telling myself stuff like "oh pfft I know this story by heart- ill SIMPLY remember the dialogue and write it later" ...and. I can't help but admire baby maiora's (call that a minora ba tm tsk) fucking audacity? hubris? confident wrongness? kid couldn't even remember to finish the comics in the first place? INCREDIBLE levels of unearned self assurance, wish that were me, genuinely- what an icon!!! anyway i think i have forever cursed myself

[lenievi]

<3 <3 <3

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

brie ive read your secret account fics without knowing it was you 😮

SO MY DISGUISE WAS WORTH IT-!

[sansxfuckyou]

i both regret and am thankful for the fact i know how to post stuff anonymously

[01zfan]

summer | s. es

boyfriend!eunseok x virgin!reader | 4.4k words

a request i received about losing your virginity to your boyfriend eunseok. this is was really fun and incredibly tender to write as usual i got carried away…inspired by the song summer by the carters…anon i hope you like!

contains: nothing just very soft sex hehe

you didn’t know what time of day it was. all you knew was that the sun was awake, filtering through the thin curtain basking the soft bed you laid on in warmth. you thought about how cold it was at home, imagining yourself trudging along icy paths trying your best not to slip. but here, right now, you were at the sunny and warm beach on a vacation with your beautiful boyfriend. 

eunseok looked so peaceful next to you. you rubbed out the crease in between his eyebrows, brought on by stress and endless expectations. if it was one thing eunseok was good at, it was hiding how stressed he was. he was excellent at his job, but the constant need to perform at his best weighed down on him. he seemed to always forget he was so young with so many responsibilities. too many. so when he had an opportunity to release some of that stress with a break in his schedules, you practically had to beg him to do it. you could tell he was reluctant, but the moment he touched the bed of the resort he was out like a light. he slept like a baby, snoring and splayed out on the king sized bed. that was about 16 hours ago. you were starting to get worried that he might’ve slept himself to death. you laid your head on his chest, just to make sure his heart was still beating.

you could hear the steady rhythm of his heart. when you lifted your head off his chest you saw that eunseok was looking at you. his eyes were squinted adjusting to the light in the room. he started rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands and he let out a loud yawn. you yawned too by effect.

“what time is it?” eunseok asked sleepily. his outstretched arms rested on your body.

“i’m not sure. maybe like 10.” 

“it’s really light outside for the evening time though?” eunseok said, looking outside.

you looked up at him to see if he was joking or not. he had the look of confusion on his face while he looked towards the window.

“baby,” eunseok looked towards you. you couldn’t help but laugh at his confusion “i mean it’s 10 in the morning.”

immediately his eyes widened and he shot up from his spot in bed. you could tell he was still fatigued as reached to his phone for confirmation. he’s lucky you plugged it in for him while he was sleeping like a log. you were right about the time, only off by ten minutes.

“i really slept for fourteen hours?” he sounded amazed and a little horrified.

“it’s closer to sixteen hours, i think.” you say.

eunseok scratched the back of his head as he looked at you. after the initial shock from being asleep for so long subsided his eyes went back to being hooded and sleepy. you felt his exhaustion as he yawned again.

“i’m sorry i was asleep for so long.” eunseok said.

“you needed the rest. i dont mind laying in bed and this villa is so nice there was alot for me to do by myself. don’t apologize for catching up on your sleep.” you said.

it was true you were doing things on your own in the villa. you walked around, looking at the guest room that you knew neither of you would be using. it was funny being at this stage in your relationship with eunseok. it wasn’t like you guys were new to intimacy in any way, kissing and cuddling often. but without going all the way it still kind of felt like you two were still learning each other’s boundaries. but you both had this silent pact that the first time you would have sex it would be something special. so the guest room was something like a precaution, if one of you got tired of the other or a little overwhelmed you could go to that room as an escape. the room wasn’t necessary though; being with eunseok felt like you were on a permanent vacation—always smiling and always relaxed.

you ended up watching television on the couch for awhile. it took awhile clicking through the channels till you found something you liked. then you took a nap and read a book. you had food delivered, ordering two extra servings in case eunseok woke up as famished as you were. you would occasionally look to the bed, making sure eunseok was still alive. each time you looked at him he was in a new sleep position, chest rising and falling. you couldn’t look at him too long without getting embarrassed. seeing eunseok in a state of bless made you feel a little too settled, and you found yourself drifting to sleep too.

when you woke up in the middle of the night you almost launched out of bed. you and eunseok always would end up sleeping in a spooning position at night. it was a part of your nightly routine. there would be several positions you two would circulate through during the night, but something poking into your back pulled you out of your sleep. you turned around in eunseoks’ arms carefully, to not wake him up. he was still fast asleep. you lifted up the sheets and even in darkness you could make out the tent in your boyfriend’s boxers. 

it was hard waiting for the right moment to make a move to take things further. it was hard to find moments of intimacy together like this. somedays it felt like worked pulled you two in opposite directions. it didn’t help that you were shy; so shy to the point that it was usually eunseok who would make the first move. he was the one who kissed you first, the one who held your hand, the one that asked you out. you were grateful that he was always aware of your boundaries, taking good care of you at every turn. but there was something that started off as a tiny ember that stirred into a fire pit in the bottom of your stomach. 

your sexual frustration manifested in gripping eunseok a little tighter, going a little deeper when you kissed. it manifested in your gaze, one that was fixed on glimpses of his toned stomach for a little too long, or when he’d wear outfits you picked out for him. you were insatiable, and in moments like this you felt like your want would eat you alive. regardless of your skin feeling like it was on fire, you took pity on your tired boyfriend. you instead brushed hair away from his face, kissed his forehead, and cuddled back into him.

now it was morning and eunseok was looking at you and you felt that pit returning again.

“are you hungry?” eunseok asked. it felt barbaric to say that you were hungry but for something else. regardless it was true, especially when eunseok gave you a glimpse of his side profile while he looked at his phone.

“i had some food delivered. there’s extra in the fridge.” you said.

eunseok looked like he was considering getting up from bed. instead he put his phone down and turned back towards you, pulling you into an embrace. he peppered kisses all over your face and you laughed trying to kiss him a million times back.

“i just want to lay in bed with you all day,” eunseok said “but i want to go to the beach.”

you looked outside the flowing blinds to the beachfront. you couldn’t lie about feeling it call to you. eventually you were able to pull eunseok out of bed. you both ate, laughing over how long eunseok slept.

after eating, you guys changed into your swim attire and headed to the beach. your bikini fit perfectly. the way eunseok looked at you when you came out told you he wasn’t admiring the floral pattern of your bra.

“have i seen that set before,” eunseok said casually. you did a quick spin to show off everything. when you made your way around him again he had blush across his cheeks “i think i would’ve remembered it.”

“i’ve been hiding it. you like?” you say innocently. it feels like your heart is about to beat out of your chest.

eunseok starts walking over to you. he has a smile on his face, the type of smile that makes your face feel hot and your body feel fuzzy. 

“i like it alot actually.” eunseok says, standing in front of you. when you look up he gives you a simple peck on the cheek. he holds your hand as he leads you to the beach.

you and eunseok spend all day playing in the sand and drinking mai tai’s. you reflect on how happy you are to be here with him and to be his. the fire in your stomach burns for a different reason when you see him watching you carefully when you swim deeper from the shore. you beckon to him and he swims to you almost immediately. its like you two are alone in the center of the world floating around one another holding hands. 

“we’re like otters.” eunseok says. you can’t help but laugh at how serious he is when he says it. you don’t see it but eunseok looks at you laughing and a smile appears on his face.

you don’t return back to the villa until it’s dark. you both come back drained from the beach, the gentle waves lulling you to sleep. when you two lay on the bed you can still hear the waves crashing on the beach.

“i had alot of fun with you today.” you say. you lay next to eunseok on the bed. he still makes you so nervous you have to keep your eyes trained on something else when you get sentimental with him. you focus on the ceiling. you play with the hem of your night gown. 

“i had alot of fun too,” eunseok grabs your hand that plays with the hem of your dress. “sorry for sleeping. i’ve been so accustomed to working i didn’t know how tired my body was.”

you turn towards him, only to find out he was already looking at you.

“eunseok please don’t apologize. you overwork yourself. you deserve to sleep.” 

eunseok laid there looking at you. 

“do i have something on my face?” you said.

“i love you.” eunseok said simply. 

“i love you too.” you said back to him. 

eunseok sat up, at the end of the bed. he reached out his hand and pulled you into him.

“you actually do have something on your face.” eunseok said, looking at your lips.

“where?” you asked.

as his answer, eunseok went to your cheek and placed a kiss there. he pulled away laughing. he put a gentle hand on your neck, one that helped him tilt your head to the side.

“here too.” eunseok said placing a kiss on your jaw. he pulled away after that kiss, looking to you.

“what about here?” you asked, pointing at your neck. 

“mhmm.” eunseok laughed, kissing your neck. he stayed in that place and you could feel his hot tongue laving the area. you sighed contently, both of your hands going to grip his shoulders. he brought you closer, eventually his lips traveled to yours, placing a kiss. you were so excited you instantly deepen the kiss. you can’t get enough of feeling his tongue lick your lips, touching his tongue to yours. before you know it, you’re moaning into the kiss and eunseok bites your lip. he pulls away first, looking you up and down.

“a little pent up baby?” eunseok grips your thigh. he’s dangerously close to your center and you squirm under his touch. your mind can barely process all the things you want him to do to you. eunseok retreats his hand, bringing it down to your knee.

“you know, we don’t have to do anything. i’m more than happy to kiss you.” eunseok says, eyeing you carefully.

you slowly put your hands over eunseok’s and move them where they were before. you try tell him what you want through body language, that you want him to touch you all over. 

“i need to hear you say what you want,” eunseok says. “for me, please.” he smiles at you and all your nerves melt off your shoulders. you pull his hand even further up, until his hand rests in the space where you thigh and center meet.

“i want you so bad, eunseok.” you can barely say it above a whisper. 

eunseok hears you clearly and fully rests his hand over your heat. his lips attach to your neck and you gasp. your body is tingling in excitement. 

“i’ve wanted you for so long,” eunseok say in between kisses on your neck. “never wanted to pressure you baby but there were some nights all i wanted to do was show you how much i want to take care of you.” 

“me too,” you say. “but you already take such good care of me.” you pant. although your brain is already being consumed with eunseok, you cant act like he isn’t thinking of you every chance he gets. eunseok has a talent of being stoic and calm, but you can always feel him looking at you. the way he leads you through crowds of people with a gentle guiding hand on the small of your back. the way he always buys you a snack when he’s out, or something that reminds him of you. eunseok is never not taking you into consideration.

“i mean in a different way.” eunseok has a hand slightly underneath the hem of your shirt. he looks up to you from your neck. “can i show you?”

you nod your head and before you know it, eunseok is touching your breast. it shouldn’t feel so good, he’s touched you like this before. but the implication of more has you leaning your head back and whimpering. eunseok helps you lean your whole body back until you’re laying on the bed. he starts trailing kisses from your neck lower and lower down your body. you lift your shirt, giving him access to kiss your stomach. the whole time eunseok looks at you. you know it’s so he can be locked into your facial expressions, to give him an indicator of what’s too much and not enough. his gaze is only making you dizzier, amplifying all of his ministrations on you. your back is arching off the bed by the time he makes it to your mid thigh. 

he kisses and sucks on the skin, and you are trying to suppress the moans that threaten to spill out. eunseok smiles against your skin.

“you’re so cute.” he says as he continues down your body. eunseok kisses your calf and works his way to your feet. he massages and kisses your ankle. 

“you’re really taking your time.” you say.

“i want to kiss and worship every part of you. you’re perfect.” eunseok says simply. it’s just that easy for him to praise you. 

when eunseok finally starts working his way back up your legs, you feel like you’re about to jump out of your skin. when he gets to your mid-thigh, he stops and looks up at you.

“can you take your shorts off for me, baby?” eunseok asks. 

you nod quickly, lifting your hips off the bed so eunseok can help you. your shorts are placed on the bed next to you, and eunseok slightly pulls you towards him so your lower half is hanging off the edge of the bed. eunseok grabs your hand and pulls you up. once you’re sitting on the edge of the bed, he lowers himself back down in between your legs.

“i want to make you feel good.” eunseok says, looking at your unclothed center. he lifts your legs until your feet are resting on the edges of the bed frame. you lean back on your arms, trying not to pass out. eunseok’s proximity to your heat has you already seeing stars.

“please.” you say simply, not sure what you’re begging for.

without saying anything else, eunseok brings a finger to swipe up your vagina. he puts his glistening finger in his mouth. the sight has you leaning all the way back on the bed. you can feel eunseok place a kiss to your pussy. you feel his wet tongue, the same that was just in your mouth is now in places you’ve dreamed about it being. you look down at eunseok, and you can see him reaching for your hands. he grabs one of your hands to hold it, and he leads your other hand to his hair, so you can grip his brown hair. when you experimentally pull at his strands, he gets even more aggressive with eating you out, tonguing your vagina. you cant hold back your moans, especially when eunseok starts sucking on your clit and adds another finger. you can feel the fire that burns in your belly turn white and you grip eunseoks’ hand even tighter.

“eunseok i’m close.” you whimper. eunseok moans an mhmm into your pussy and pulls you closer. 

you barely have any stability as you let out a final moan. you ride into his face, and eunseok moves your legs to rest on his shoulders. you act purely on impulse trying to ride out the feeling of euphoria. you feel your thighs close in on eunseoks head and your back arches off the bed. he takes everything in stride, keeping his fingers inside of you and lips on your clit. 

you have to push him away with a weak hand before eunseok pulls away from you.

“you alright babe?” eunseok says it way to casually, especially with the bottom half of his face covered in you. all you can do is scoot yourself back on the bed and motion for him to come to you.

eunseok comes to you on the bed and pulls you into his chest. you kiss him, tasting what you two made together. you’re entranced by the taste of yourself on his tongue. you play with the waistband of his pants until you finally get the courage to dip your hand underneath. you grab his dick in your hand, experimentally squeezing. eunseok puts a hand up your shirt, squeezing your breast. you think about how you could stay like this forever, feeling up your boyfriend. you squeeze him a little tighter. eunseok pulls away.

“can i see it?” you ask. you’re pushing down his pants for him. “i think about it all the time.”

when you get eunseok’s pants off, you are surprised by his size. you never doubted he would be big based on how tall he was, but you had your doubts if you’d even be able to take it now. 

“you’re big.” you grab his length again, stroking him. eunseok leans back on the bed and lets out a sigh. he closes his eyes in bliss as you continue to stroke him. 

when you try to move your body down to his dick, to give eunseok the same thing he gave you, his eyes shoot open to look at you.

“i won’t last if you do that.” eunseok says.

“i want to, though.” you say. eunseok kisses your pout. he gathers your hair into his hand and does and light tug. he tuts and lets your hair fall back down.

“we have plenty of time for that later,” eunseok moves you from your side to your back. he reaches to the bedside drawer to pull out a condom.

“can i put it on you?” you say quickly. eunseok nods, handing you the foil packet.

you open up the packet and take out the latex condom. its a little slippery, you never thought they’d put lube on the condoms. you look to the condom and then to eunseok’s dick. you suddenly feel very unprepared. eunseok sits up and pinches the tip of the condom.

“you can put it on the tip then just roll it down.” eunseok says. you look at him and he has a smile on his face. you also noticed the creeping blush on his cheeks.

“how do you know that?” you ask.

“i actually watched a video.” eunseok says with a straight face. you can’t help but laugh at how serious it is and eunseok joins you.

you follow his instruction. while you roll the condom all down his shaft, eunseok kisses you. his hand gripping the sheets doesn’t go unnoticed. 

when you are done, eunseok leads you back down on the bed beside him. he brings himself on top of you. “i really want to be inside of you right now.”

although you are more than ready, in fact you’ve been ready, you can’t stop yourself from feeling a twinge of anxiety. what if he doesn’t fit? what if it doesn’t feel good? 

a million hypotheticals rush through your head. once eunseok kisses your forehead, it’s like they instantly disappear from your mind. he interlaces his fingers to yours before kissing the back of your hand. 

you grab eunseok’s length with a touch his throbbing in your hand. eunseok places his hand over yours and you both guide him to your entrance. once he’s there, you instinctively wrap your arms around him. he’s stable and solid above you, and you think about how he’s always someone you can lean on.

“i love you so much.” you say. you’re almost embarrassed, saying something that was meant for your inner thoughts. eunseok places a sweet kiss to your forehead.

“i love you, too.” eunseok says. he shifts an arm underneath you, so you two are chest to chest.

“tell me if it hurts. i’m going to go slow.” eunseok looks in your eyes. you nod back, trying to let out a deep breath and relax.

eunseok keeps his word as he slowly sinks into you. you cant stop yourself. you instinctively grip harder onto eunseok’s back, letting out a whine. you can’t lie and say it doesn’t feel uncomfortable as he stretches out your walls. eunseok drops his head into your neck as he keeps going. you hold onto him tighter, and eunseok makes a sound you’ve never heard him make when he’s all the way in.

“is this okay?” eunseok lifts his head from your neck to look at you.

“yeah.” you squeak. you can feel your walls close in on him because of the way he’s speaking to you and you can tell he feels it too because he lets out another one of those sounds. you feel driven to keep pulling that sound out of him; something between a groan and a gasp. you clench around him again.

“you’re so tight. holy shit.” eunseok says, dropping his head back into your neck. you can’t control the clenching now, your body acting on its own accord in response to eunseok. “can i keep going?”

“yes. please.”

when eunseok pulls his hips back to drive back into you just as slow, you abandon trying to be quiet. you feel sorry for your neighbors as you pants turn to moans when the uncomfortableness melts into pleasure. before you know it eunseok is rocking into you at a steady pace, and you can’t control the sounds you make anymore.

“that’s my girl.” eunseok says pulling back and snapping his hips into you. you moan and dig your nails into his back as a response.

“eunseok. k-keep going.” you say. you know he has no plans of stopping, but you might combust if eunseok pulls away from you.

his pace increases, and you feel a churning feeling all over. that fire had been put out what building up even more. the fire went around your whole body, and told you to hike your leg up over eunseok’s shoulder. 

the new angle has you seeing stars and leave eunseok moaning against your mouth when he tries to kiss you. he puts a hand on your thigh to help give you balance as his thrusts get deeper and deeper. 

“i’m close.” you moan.

“me too.” eunseok moans. he lets your leg fall back down and pulls you closely to him again. eunseok thrusts harder into you, and he drops a hand to rub revolutions on your clit. you hold onto his bicep, digging crescent moons into his skin.

eunseok kisses you all over. your mind is operating at half speed giving him delayed kisses back. all you can hear is eunseok telling you he loves you and compliments fall from his lips like it’s second nature. all you can think about is the sound of skin against skin. 

you wish you could tell him you were about to show him how well he had taken care of you, but your orgasm hits you like a wall of flowers. you clench around eunseok repeatedly and wrap your legs around his waist. eunseok only gives you a few more quick thrusts before he’s experiencing euphoria of his own. you both ride oh your highs, gasping and moaning against each other and you move your hips, trying to prolong the feeling. you can feel your boyfriend pulse inside of you one last time as his weight gets a little heavier on top of you.

when eunseok pulls back you take in all of his features again. his tousled hair, red cheeks and ears, the way his lips are all plump and swollen. you kiss him again, and keep kissing him until he pulls out of you.

eunseok keeps kissing you as he slides off the bed. he doesn’t break the kiss until he has to—to stand up and tie off his condom. he disappears into the bathroom but is back just as fast, getting into the sheets next to you.

eunseok find your pajama bottoms and helps put them back on you. you help him back into his pants. you both have the covers over you, making sure you both are comfortable. you both settle in next to each other, your head tucked underneath eunseoks’ chin. you think about all the things you want to say to him. how good he’s always made you feel and how much you love him. eunseok thinks about how beautiful you are inside and out, how being the thought of being apart from you makes him want to stay in this villa forever. instead, you both drift off to sleep listening to the waves crash on the sand.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling my her ex I read her poetry?

I (F19) dated my ex (F18, Lacy) for about 9 months. I broke up with her because she had a lot of issues I just didn't know how to deal with and I also fell in love with my best friend (NB19, Alex, he/his pronouns), so I decided it was the best course of action. I broke up with Lacy on January of 2023 and started dating Alex in February.

Around this time, I found an Instagram account that posted poetry. There was nothing that could identify the author, but the poetry was really good so I started to follow them. With time, however, the poems started to look... familiar. Not the writing style, but some situations on them, for example: one of them said something like "your brother's night sky truck that took us to the stars" (my older brother has a dark blue truck he would lend me so I could take Lacy on dates) and another said "that old guitar you had that you never learned to play like you played me" (I have an old guitar I inherited from my father and I indeed never learned how to play it). These are only two examples, but I found many others that convinced me that account belonged to Lacy.

I know I should have left it alone the second I realized the account belonged to her, but it was so flattering to see she wrote all of that about me. I didn't tell anyone, not my friends or Alex, but I kept following the account and reading Lacy's poetry. I think my feelings for her started to rekindle after that, because no one ever wrote about me like that and, as months passed, she kept writing about me. She never got over me.

My relationship with Alex also started to have problems during this time. He got a job at an ice cream parlour and he started a D&D campain with his friends, which means we started to spend less and less time together. He didn't seem to be as interested in me as he was during our first months of relationship, and I feel like he's taking me for granted. Lately, more specifically since December, we started to fight a lot over small things too.

We went to a New Year's party one of our friends was hosting and Lacy was there too. That enough was reason for Alex to start complaining, since he has a lot of feelings of jealousy regarding her. We ended up having a fight because he thought I knew she'd be there, which I didn't, and he went to stay with our friends, avoiding me the whole night.

It was New Year's eve and I had just fought with my partner, who was monopolizing all of our friends and leaving me by myself, so I started to drink. I know that wasn't a good idea, but I was angry and frustrated and I thought that would help. It didn't, I just got super drunk.

Since my filter disappears when I'm drunk, I went after Lacy and told her her poetry was really good. At first she was confused, so I said I found her poetry account and her poems were amazing, and I was flattered she still thought about me like that, because I didn't think anyone else ever saw me in such a beautiful way.

After that, the panic in her eyes became clear. She started to cry, not full on sobbing but some tears rolled down her face and she didn't answer me, just left. Alex saw the interaction and came to ask me what happened. I ended up telling him about Lacy's poetry account, we fought again and I decided to go home. In that same night, I searched for the poetry account and it was deleted.

This whole situation didn't leave my head since it happened and I don't know what to think. Alex has also been avoiding me and I don't understand why everyone seems to be against me. Lacy blocked me everywhere and I'm beginning to think leaving her for Alex was a huge mistake. It was also never my intention to make Lacy feel like she had to delete her account.

AITA for telling her I knew about the poetry account?

What are these acronyms?

[atalienart]

What are your tips on improving writing?

I don't think I'm at the level to give such tips. I myself try to read a lot of different books and learn from the authors that way. I watch youtube writing channels that talk about story structure, character development, or give advice how to improve prose and what to avoid. It's good to have someone who can look at your writing and give some feedback too. Also, I write. After some time, when I go back to my writing, I can see the mistakes better.

I can share some things that I've learnt from others and I think are good advice, for example:

use strong verbs (the person may walk but may also stroll, march or tiptoe);

there are more interesting verbs than to be;

weave description into action (The building was big. She walked towards it. ➜ She lifted her head as the stone walls grew before her. or He took the book in his hand nervously. He was tall, had brown hair and was wearing glasses. ➜ He reached for the high shelf without an effort. Book in hand, he pushed glasses up his nose to read the title - "Magic spells to improve writing." "This is it," he murmured, nervously running fingers through his brown hair.) (or some shit like that);

write sentences of different length so they don't sound monotonous;

If you want to write quick scenes. Short sentences. Actually. Make them slower. Why? Because periods. Are. Long. Pauses. xD

leave the most important words for the end of the sentence (He was thinking about the woman, while drinking his tea. ➜ He was drinking his tea, thinking about the woman.)

avoid filter words like hear, feel, see, etc. (She heard the noise that startled her. ➜ The noise startled her. or She was startled by the noise. or She jumped at the noise.)

be careful with time shifts (She noticed him behind the trees and smiled. Her beautiful monster. She runs to him and takes his hand and all of a sudden everything is all right. "Where is your hat?" she asks, but he just stares at her. He's always been a monster of few words, soft and quiet, but the lack of answer still surprised her. - is this present or past tense? confusion)

every scene should have a purpose - advance the plot, develop the character, add some conflict; ideally it will do all these things;

white room syndrom is bad - avoid;

use as many characters as you need; if one character can do the work of two, you need only one, scrap the other;

every character should want something!

give a character a desire, fear and misbelief;

Here are some of them. I hope they're useful. (They were useful for me even if I write in Polish :)) Of course some of these are optional but I think they make my writing better. I read somewhere that you should write only necessary words, so I'm trying to go by this rule. This is rather hard btw xD

[arcanegifs]

On Gifmaking:

So season 2's coming soon, and I wanna reflect on making gifs ever since I came back to Tumblr. I can't believe it's been 2 years of making gifs for this show!!!!! Look at how large my folder is lmao

And those are JUST gifs lol

Anyways, over time, my style has changed, especially how I color edit Arcane gifs. I kind of strayed away from a stylized filter color into just something that looks a lot more "natural" and works with the original scene.

Initially, I thought I'd save time, but I ended up not using my old arcane preset PSDs and resulted to coloring almost every scene manually. So in the end, it takes even longer to make them HAHAHA. It takes around an hour and a half for me to make a 10 gif set, basically. It also helps that I have a photography background, so coloring/editing is a lot simpler for me.

Here's a lil before and after of a dark scene (hiiiii viiiiiii <3)

Arcane is a REALLY dark show, but it goes for most of TV shows. Many of them are darker and harder to bring up the lights to make stuff look nice as gifs. Some people don't like to color their gifs, and that's okay. I personally just like color edited gifs more.

I've started learning how to upscale scenes myself, so that I have a better resolution and leeway to make things look "HD" more.

If you're wondering why my stuff look so "crisp", it's a combination of the scene's lighting, my sharpening settings on Photoshop and knowing how to upscale everything into 4k resolution. Of course, doing this needs an extremely beefy pc, which I am very lucky to own one.

Here's another before and after of a nicely lit scene. These are much, MUCH easier to do than all the darkly lit scenes because of shadows and lighting (caitlyn kiramman truly the rizzler <3)

I've been very lucky to be able to essentially take a nice, long break for like a month doing nothing after being so damn busy for the last year and a half, so it's nice that I was able to make a ton of gifs and be chronically online for a short while LMAO.

It's been so fun! But it's time to go back to reality lmao. I closed reqs for a bit because I was just so swamped with them the last few days, and I wanted to gif scenes that I like this time. I've done like 2 weeks worth of gifs. And you will see Vi a lot bc she's on my mind a lot heehee 🥰what can I say, she's such a babe <3

Here's a lil sneak peek, just look at herrrrrrr 🥰🥰🥰 and yeah, 4k upscaled resolution really helps making these tight crops, it's why i never went back to 1080p lol. It's how I’m able to make zoomed in gifs look decent (like the kirammountains gifset lol)

Thank you so much for all the support, likes, reblogs, and the nice tags you guys give. Yes, I can see and read all of them (both the nice and nasty ones lmao). If you have nothing good to say about the characters or my editing style, or anything related to the edit, please I beg you, just write a separate text post about it <3 If you have nothing nice to say, don't say it in my edits.

Lastly, thank you to the people who share my stuff outside the site and credit the blog and link them back here. I see you and appreciate you <3 You guys don't know how much I appreciate shoutouts and link backs, because people stealing my gifs is something that I've dealt with after making them for like a decade.

Tumblr is sadly not what it used to be in the 2013-2015 era. There’s definitely less activity as time goes by, so I appreciate all the people who credit and link back to this sideblog. Unfortunately, there’s more people who just repost them and it gets wayyy much more traction in other soc med sites. Yeah, ofc I get a lil jealous, but eh what can you do 😞 can’t really stop em.

I also don’t like putting watermarks because it personally looks tacky to me, but I understand why other people do it.

Anyways, if you reached at the end of this lil rambling of mine, thank you! I sadly might be busy during November because that's usually busy season, but I'll try to make time for making gifs of Season 2! Thank you and enjoy your stay on this lil sideblog :)

[voltronisanobsession]

Miguel codes Lyla a Friend

I had this idea since I was thinking maybe sometimes Lyla gets lonely being the only hologram in the spider society apart from Spider Byte. So I decided to do this and show what it could be like if Miguel finally coded and programmed Lyla a new friend!

This also might be the very few writings I’ll do for this fandom since I wanna focus on the ones Im active in now :D

For this to even be CONSIDERED a possibility, Lyla would have to have been annoying Miguel for awhile, complaining about how oh so lonely she’s gotten being the only hologram

“Come on.”

“There’s Spider Byte.”

“She doesn’t count, plus she’s still a spider. Come oonn.”

“Is my company not enough, Lyla?”

“Look me in the eyes and you tell me. Come ooonnnnn.”

In the end Miguel will succumb to Lyla’s persistent complains much to the her delight

I can already see her excitedly yapping away while Miguel begins programming her new ‘friend’

I totally see Miguel just copying and pasting Lyla’s original coding while making some changes like the personality and appearance just because he didn’t want to spend too much time on this

It takes a couple of runs before both he and Lyla are satisfied with the final outcome, you😍

Miguel made it so that you were the more compassionate and kind one between the two of you while Lyla is the honest and blunt one

You chose your own name, which surprised both him and Lyla since you were already adapting and growing as an intelligent form of tech

“Well then Y/N, welcome to the team.”

Cue Lyla grabbing your arm and disappearing to who knows where while Miguel sighs

Omg she would totally give you star glasses so you could match with her heart glasses!!!

You guys are rarely seen without the other ever since your arrival

Lyla would show you all the ropes to being Miguel’s assistant and would be so proud when you help file your first report on an anomaly :,)

“They grow up so quick.”

“But I can’t ‘grow up’ Lyla.”

“You’ll understand those sayings soon.”

You guys do everything together, like karaoke nights with Miguel, make friendship bracelets for each other and take silly pics with that one bunny filter Lyla’s obsessed with

It’s like you’re Thing 1 and Thing 2 according to Peter :]

Because this is technically your shot in ‘living’, you definitely look at everything with stars in your eyes

Everything is still so new to you and so exciting that you often get carried away with rambling about how fascinating life is

Which causes Miguel to raise an eyebrow at times because it’s almost like your becoming more self aware of yourself, gaining more… human emotions despite you being only a hologram

And he isn’t wrong

Once learning of Miles Morales’ story and how he’s essentially going to destroy the multiverse according to Miguel, you can’t help but feel for the boy

Your traits grow from being compassionate to feeling real emotions which confused you at first when you began feeling so different at times

(You asked Lyla about the weird feelings you’ve been getting but she only looks at you weirdly so you don’t bring it up again)

You make it a habit to mention every now and then that Miles had no control over what happened and how you feel sorry for him

How you even theorize that with him, the cycle of Spiderman could possibly be broken!

Lyla would 100 percent lecture you on how that would be terrible and all that fun sunshine stuff which you definitely don’t listen to

Hobie would be around when you’re on one of your tangents on how Miles could be the change the multiverse could benefit from, capturing his attention

“Rebellious one, aren’t you?”

“Oh Hobie hello! What do you mean by that?”

“I sure as ‘ell know bossman wouldn’t program your own ideas to go against his, now would he?”

After that small talk, your hologram self would realize ‘hey! Im thinking for myself, I have my own ideals and beliefs!’

Cue you acting out against Miguel cuz you’re in your rebellious phase

Bro would totally tell Lyla to control you

You’ve been giving him more headaches than Lyla has and that’s saying something

I think Lyla would try to tap into your programming to see if there was something wrong only to find out you put a PASSWORD on that file LMAO💀💀💀

Her reaction: 😦

Besides that concerning factor that is making itself way more known after Miles arrives, most of the spiders do enjoy your company

They love how you just float around them as you beg to hear more of their stories and fights they’ve experienced

You have an almost childish light because of how interested and amazed you are at them

You love being around Peter B. though because of Mayday

She loves just swishing her hand at your frame, giggling as you reappear in a different spot, your soft glowing light capturing her attention every time

Overall I think being Miguel’s second assistant isn’t the most terrible thing in the world

Lyla’s sarcasm has rubbed off on you so you both like to make Miguel’s job a little more difficult than it needs to be

But he definitely has a soft spot for both you, especially since you often sympathize with him whenever he watches those videos of his past life

You’re just a silly member of the society trying to learn more about life and the special moments it holds

You want to be apart of the real world instead of being confined to the digital world, which Lyla and Miguel don’t realize is a problem until you finally go against them

DUN DUN DDUUUNNNN

[tgcg]

Ya got any tips for writing dialog for the sillies?

i wish i could come up w anything deeply helpful irt this but i just kinda "feel it" & it "happens", generally in a way i find hard 2 explain to people... i will give it a go though

i made a post abt the kind of mindset i have when i write karkat dialogue here https://www.tumblr.com/cgtg/739174575193112576/do-you-have-any-tips-on-writing-karkat-dialogue a while back though🙂

for dave i think id have an even harder time explaining it, but my dave is rly heavily influenced by post-irony & ytp. whenever i write dave i just kinda follow a stream of consciousness that is dubious about shit and loves to laugh i guess? i rlly don't know how to describe it. i tend to reread canon dialogue particlarly from act3-6 for inspo, sometimes i'm straight up using my own brain with some kind of dave-filter

when i write them together i like 2 live in the beautiful world where they both agreed to be earnest with each other, probably my best example of that is "candid detail". i don't do that all the time bc i also like to write em with their guards up e.g. "bad mouther hole master", theres a lot of points in their relationship that have rly fun dynamics 2 me.

i guess i also do them kinda silly. ive been told my dk is quite silly. i like 2 imagine they know how to make each other laugh. they also learn a lot from each others perspectives on things, like insecurities or bad experiences or even just what they like / what art is to them, stuff like that. in my interp they do rly end up having a lot of things in common ideologically bc they're both at their cores very soft people.

it's all abt big long sentences with an undertone of quiet empathy. it can also be about aggressively bumping shoulders w their own egos too because that's fun

fundamentally though, i write them 2 be genuinely interested in what the other has to say. like, curious about each other. it gives u rly fun back & forth that isn't too mean-spirited & is more playful/genuine... i think it's rlly easy to write them totally discrediting each other's viewpoints which i do sometimes too (again, FUN !) but if u do it in the wrong context it just comes off as needlessly sardonic & harshes the vibe. i mention that bc i have a hard time balancing their egos & genuity myself sometimes

also very important to know when to have them run their mouths & when to have them sit their asses down & LISTEN. i tend to have them run their mouths a lot in scripts i havent finished/posted, just bc i have so much fun doing it, but it makes the dialogue so long-winded that i can't turn it into a comic... yeah definitely part of it is remembering they both know how to be succinct when they need/wanna be and aren't ALWAYS flapping their mouths. sometimes i realise a script is going in a direction that could be a whole other convo & that's when i tend 2 nip it in the bud

i really dont kno if any of this is helpful but i hope it is a little 4 my kinda... process i guess 🙂

thank u 4 asking me abt it ! if i think of better ways 2 explain it i will share in da future i hope u r having a good day

[masonmyluv]

Part 1

A/N: I really hope you will all like this story. It’s my first pretty long story (it will have around 10 parts, so stay tuned ;) ) that I’m posting here. You can also find the story on my wattpad account (username: tmrxlover_writer).

Pictures are from Pinterest, the filter is Cinnamon on Polarr.

Warnings: none

︵✦⋆₊°˖︵‿₊

Another day at Uni after he just scored his first La Liga goal . He was buzzing, but had to be on time for classes. He was sure the whole university will congratulate him. Being famous was difficult when you just wanted to be a normal student.

"Our boy Fermin is back!"

You looked up from your notes to see Fermin being congratulated by the whole class. People hugging him, patting him on the back. "Thanks man" he kept saying, trying to make his way to his place. He just wanted the class to begin so everyone could leave him alone. "Hey" he said, sitting next to you. "Hi" you replied quietly. Being the shy nerdy girl was bad enough when you were sitting near the hot athletic guy. You asked yourself multiple times why did he choose to sit near you in the first year. There were a lot of empty places, but he chose the second row in the front, exactly near you. "Anything that I missed?" He asked, looking at your notes. He always admired your beautiful handwriting and how organised you were, so he knew where to choose to sit at your first class together. Surely not the guy with only a piece of paper and a pen, but rather the girl surrounded by books, coloured pencils and a cup of coffee. He didn't have the balls to ask you to get coffee in the morning, even though he wasn't drinking it, he would offer to come along with you.

"Erm...not really. We talked about more practical stuff. I made some notes if you want to take a picture or something" you offered shyly. You never ever gave your notes to anyone because they were just some lazy asses who didn't care about anything, but you were here to learn. You wanted to be a physiotherapist. They were here just to get a diploma. Not Fermin though. He was passionate about the subject, even though he missed a lot of classes because of his packed schedule. You were willing to help him because he showed interest. And appreciated your work too.

"Thanks. Actually I had an idea, I mean a proposal" he said. "I'm quite behind with everything, so I was wondering if you'd like to meet somewhere and help me catch up? It's okay if you don't want to" he said nervously. Why the heck was he nervous? He scored his first goal in freaking La Liga and was nervous talking to a girl he's seen almost every day in 3 years. You thought about his idea, you wanted to help him, but you weren't the person to meet up in random places to study. You liked the confined space of your room and desk, and maybe the library or the coffee shop, when you had to do computer work.

"I don't want to sound... uhh... like I'm inviting myself" he said blushing as if reading your mind. "But I can come to your place, if that's okay with you". "I... uhh" you rambled on, but the professor was already in class, ready to read one of his boring presentations for 2 hours. You barely paid attention to what he was saying, debating whether to accept Fermin's idea or not, while drawing random patterns on your copybook. Fermin noticed you zooming out so he scribbled something down on his own copybook. He nudged you so you could read what he wrote.

It's okay. It was just an idea :)

You shook your head, writing under his: we talk after the class.

For the rest of the class, you took notes, while Fermin tried paying attention, but his mind kept drifting off somewhere else. What if he overstepped with all this I-can-come-to-your-place-to-study thing and you would think he's weird? He face palmed himself for that, but you were his only hope to pass the exams this semester. The professor finally ended the class and you started packing your bag. Neither of you spoke until you were out of the class.

"Listen I—"

"It's okay if—"

You both stopped mid sentence and chuckled. "You first" he encouraged. "So, I think it's okay for you to come. I live alone anyway. Just tell me when it's okay with you". Fermin couldn't believe what he was hearing. You never ever invited someone over and he could respect that it was your safe place and he didn't want to intrude. "Are you sure it's okay?" He asked and you nodded. "Okay, let me see. Actually I'll text you the day before because I'll have some recovery trainings and I'll be free to come" he said. "I know it's difficult to put up with me" he chuckled nervously. "It's okay. It's not like I'm a party animal or anything" you said. "Okay... I'll let you know soon. Bye. And thank you" he said, climbing into his car. He thought of offering you a car ride, but maybe it was too much overstepping in one day, so he just waved at you and you waved back to him.

When you arrived home, you thought about this day. What the heck was today? Of course you gave him your notes pretty often, but him to come here to study? That was a whole new level.

︵✦⋆₊°˖︵‿₊

Hope you like it 🤍

Feedback is appreciated 😊

[musicalmoritz]

Good Femslash Fics Already Exist

With the whole push for more femslash in fandoms, I’ve never understood the amount of hate I see femslash “fans” direct towards existing creations. There’s nothing wrong with wanting more variety, I do too, but every time someone brings up the fact that femslash fan fictions are already being written someone opens their mouth to say “yeah but those suck.” And then they proceed to read 300+ atrociously mischaracterized mlm fics. They complain abt plotless fluff and then read the exact same pwp scenarios over and over again

And hey, if you don’t want to read femslash that’s totally fine. You don’t have to pretend it interests you. I’m someone who actively looks for femslash and my only problem has been a lack of content in smaller/male-dominated fandoms, the fics themselves are cute af. Ya’ll are missing out on some real masterpieces by labeling all existing femslash fics as “boring,” some of my favorite fics ever are femslash. If an mlm ship invades the tags just filter it out, filter out every mlm pairing in the fandom if you have to. AO3 gives us that option for a reason

I’m not saying we don’t need more variety, but we’re not going to get that by shitting on writers who actively put in the work to make more femslash. When I started writing femslash consistently it was very discouraging because I’d seen soooooo many people online saying they want more femslash fics, yet nobody was reading mine. Then I looked at the stats on other femslash fics and they were the same, really great fics were barely getting any hits or kudos. It kinda sucks knowing that an mlm fic I wrote in 3 hours got more kudos than a wlw fic I spent months on (for pairings of relatively equal popularity). This seems to be the biggest roadblock for people wanting to write femslash, no one supports it. Even tho fandoms claim they would support it, they never do. It’s something I’ve learned to stop caring about but not every writer is gonna push through

This brings me back to a comment I saw about “boring, hair-braidy wlw fics.” That description really stood out to me, and to this day it makes me feel a little self-conscious about my old femslash fics that were “boring” and “hair-braidy.” But then I came across a fic for this one pairing that had actual hair-braiding. It was incredibly well-written and meaningful, exploring how both characters struggled to ask for help but they were able to recognize each other’s dilemmas and help in subtle ways. They did this, of course, by fixing each other’s hair when they both felt helpless to do anything with it. Such a simple way to express a very deep bond. This made me reassess the way people talk about femslash fics, and the way I’d been thinking of them myself. Is fluff really that much of a crime?? Do all cottagecore-type fics really have no substance?? Do femslash fics have to copy exactly what slash fics are doing, or are they allowed to have their own tropes??

My attitude towards the overload of plotless fluff wlw fics is “this is a good starting point.” We need more people writing femslash, more variety in what is written, but that doesn’t mean what we have is bad. I critique wlw fic tropes a lot but I always give the disclaimer that I actually love the fics themselves, I just want to see more of a different thing. And I comment on every femslash fic I read (every fic I read in general but especially femslash), I try to leave something thoughtful to let the writer know I appreciate the effort they put into their work. You’d be surprised how many writers said they were encouraged to update a fic or write more femslash because of a positive comment I left them. Engaging with fics will give you more of a good thing. It has so much more influence than that video you’re about to make talking about how there’s no good femslash fics. When you say things like that it actually discourages people from writing, and makes them feel bad about things they’ve already written. Support femslash writers guys, it’s sexy

[pollymorgan]

Ex-Husband Negan Part 7

Warnings: Negan is Negan, a few hot words, a woman who doesn't learn.

Shame on me! 🙈 For some reason, I thought Lizzie was 7 years old when writing, but she's actually 11 years old ... so, if she comes across as "immature," that's the explanation .... Sorry ...

Present

I was just preparing the salad for dinner with Lizzie. Or rather, my youngest daughter was cutting the tomatoes, while I stood next to her in a panic, struggling not to snatch the sharp knife from her little hands, when Gracie came into the kitchen talking on the phone.

"Yes, Dad, I know, but you have to understand ..." she spoke calmly into the receiver.

Typical, if I had pulled a stunt like Negan did this morning, she wouldn't have talked to me for at least a month, but with her father, everything was immediately forgiven and forgotten.

As she said goodbye to him, Lizzie immediately turned around frantically. "I wanted to talk to Daddy too ...".

I immediately took the knife from her hand and held her arm because she was wobbling uncontrollably on the step.

"Dad didn't have time anyway, because he's on his way to go eat with Sherry!" my eldest replied.

Somewhat shocked, I asked, "Sherry?!?"

Just hearing another woman's name in connection with Negan stabbed me in the heart, but the fact that it seemed completely normal for my children shocked me even more.

"Well, Daddy's girlfriend ..." Lizzie said meekly.

I tried to compose myself and not show anything to my children.

"So, his girlfriend then ..." I replied softly.

Gracie stood between us and stole a piece of bell pepper from the cutting board, "Yeah, she's really cool ...".

"Do you know her?" I asked, as unimpressed as possible.

"Of course, we even went shopping together ..." she said and then poured the chopped vegetables into a large bowl.

I had definitely lost my appetite at dinner. Thoughtfully, I poked at my plate. That bastard. Negan was clearly the one who had seduced me again last night, and then he didn't even bother to mention his girlfriend with a single word.

The anger and disappointment boiled inside me, but worse yet, even though I didn't want to admit it, I was also insanely jealous.

Last night had shown me that my feelings for him were still so incredibly strong, but it all seemed meaningless to him. Why does he still have such power over me, even though he has caused me so much pain?

Even in the evening, when I lay in my bed, the voices in my head did not stop. How could he whisper such sweet things to me yesterday while bringing me to climax over and over again and then spend a nice evening with the next woman - his girlfriend???

In a feeble attempt to distract myself, I scrolled through my phone. Opened apps only to close them again immediately. Eventually, I went to my photo gallery and came across a selfie I had taken a few days ago, in front of my bed.

I didn't know exactly what I wanted to achieve with it, or what I hoped to achieve, but after applying a few filters, I posted it on my status and made it visible only to Negan.

Annoyed with myself, I placed the phone on my nightstand and buried myself under the covers. I lay there for a few minutes, struggling with whether I should just delete the post, when I heard a vibration. I quickly threw the covers off and grabbed my phone.

"Damn, you're hot, Mom 🔥😍"

I couldn't help but smile, and the devil on my shoulder thought that Sherry might not be so interesting after all, if my ex-husband could find the time to react to my photo.

"And damn lonely, all alone in bed ... 🥺...everything still smells like you, Daddy ..." I replied, and it wasn't even a lie. I hadn't changed the sheets yet, and his scent had been clouding my senses the whole time.

I felt my cheeks flush at the thought of what he might write, and I didn't have to wait long for a response.

"Oh, my poor baby... Do you miss me so much? Be good and touch yourself for me, okay? And then tell me if you still feel where my tongue was yesterday, all over you and inside you ... Fuck, I still have your heavenly taste on my lips ..."

Instantly, every part of me tingled. My whole body seemed to be buzzing with electricity. Just his written words and the thought of last night sent me into ecstasy.

But I didn't want to settle for this chat while he was probably sitting nonchalantly next to his new girlfriend, enjoying the evening to the fullest.

"No, that's not enough for me ... My fingers are running over my body, to all my sensitive spots, but it doesn't feel the same as you ... Nothing feels even close to as good as you! I need you here with me, Negan. Now!" I nervously sent the message.

Agonizingly, I watched as he typed, but no new message appeared. Then he suddenly went offline. Fuck! I had probably lost this little game.

Just as I was about to disappointedly put my phone away, a response finally came.

"Put on something sexy. I'll be there in 20 minutes! 😉"

Oh man, my heart leaped. He was actually going to show up here! He had chosen me. At least for tonight.

Excited like a teenager, I jumped out of bed and, no, I ran to my dresser. I quickly pulled out some lingerie that I constantly bought but never wore.

After choosing one, I went to the bathroom to freshen up. I kept glancing at the clock.

After just 15 minutes, the doorbell rang. I grabbed my robe and put it on, then hurriedly ran down the stairs.

As I opened the door and he stood there in front of me, my heart pounded even harder in my chest. He looked incredibly good in his dark clothing and black-rimmed glasses.

Smiling confidently, he was about to lean in to kiss me when I pushed him back with a flat hand on his chest.

"Was Sherry very sad that you had to leave?" I asked innocently.

His grin widened instantly. He leaned his upper body back and let his eyes roam over my body.

"You little minx, so the kids told you about her ... but I have to say, your jealousy is incredibly sexy..." His gaze lingered on my belt, which I had quickly tied around my waist. He casually undid the knot with a quick hand movement, and my robe fell open. The cool air immediately caused goosebumps to form on my bare skin.

"Fuck.." Negan whispered as he caught sight of my white lace underwear.

We were still standing at the open front door, but I didn't care in that moment.

"So, why did you come here?" I provocatively asked him.

"Shit, what kind of question is that? ... Isn't it more than obvious ...?" he replied and then bit his lip.

"I want to hear it from you..." I still pressed.

Negan confidently approached me, but I took a few steps back so we were in the middle of the hallway. He let the door slam shut behind him, maintaining eye contact with me.

"Because I want you ... only you..." he answered, then he grabbed me firmly and pulled me into a long, passionate kiss, his fingers wandering under my robe. When his large hands touched my butt, I couldn't help but let out a soft moan.

"Wow, wow, let's go to the bedroom before the girls wake up..." Negan laughed.

As soon as we arrived there, I let my robe slip completely off my body. Just his reaction to me made my lower abdomen clench with desire.

"Show me..." he commanded with a firm, deep voice. I looked at him questioningly, then he added. "Show me how you touched yourself when you missed me ... I can't stop thinking about your message ... I want to see it..."

Without breaking eye contact with him, I fell back onto the bed. Negan stood there watching every move I made. There was so much tension in the room that it was palpable.

Slowly, I began running my fingers over my chest and gently stroked my sensitive nipples, which were only covered by a thin fabric and immediately stiffened.

I enjoyed his gaze on me. I could see how much he was turned on by all of this. His green-brown eyes seemed darker than usual and gleamed with lust. His Adam's apple moved up and down noticeably, and his tongue lightly moistened his perfectly shaped lips.

Just as I was about to continue moving my hand down my body, the bedroom door unexpectedly opened. Startled, I pulled the blanket over my body and looked at the shocked face of my partner Steve, who suddenly stood before us.

"What's going on here?" he asked, pale as a sheet.

Negan turned to him first and then amusedly back to me, grinning from ear to ear. "Wow, the evening is going to be even more exciting than I expected...!"

[hyperfixatedonthisnow]

Siren's call

*not my GIF I know, I know, I suck at titles, but I’ve come to accept this about myself and therefore so must you! Summary: A Siren and a privateer fall in love, but how will he react when he finally learns what she is? Requested by: Anonymous - Sturmhond/Nikolai finds out his girlfriend is a siren. How will that go? - Dearest anon, I am *so* sorry that this took me so long to put out. I fell down a bit of a rabbit hole researching Sirens and found your request so interesting that I honestly could have written much more. I started out with Sturmhond, then switched to Nikolai after reader learns his real name, and I went with Sirens as shape-shifting mermaids, rather than the Greek version of bird like creatures, mostly because it was easier to write in but also because birds freak me out a bit tbh, I’m hoping you don’t mind. Also there’s smut at the end, but if you don’t like that then feel free to stop reading when the kissing starts 😉 I realized way too late that I probably should have asked you for more details 🤦‍♀️ So I can only hope that this is something close to what you wanted! Word count: 7.5K ish - because much like our favorite prince/privateer, I prefer to use several words when one will do 😅

Warnings: NSFW - 18+ only. Mild peril, mild angst, a touch of fluff, minor OC’s who exist only to further the (minimal) plot, a very brief mention of non-con (but not with Nikolai), smut, fem!reader, P in V sex, semi-rough sex, marking, unprotected sex (not recommended in real life!)

You had been following the ship closely for weeks, watching the crew, learning their habits, and charting their course to figure out the best time to take them. Amalia preferred to wait until they were close to land, though it was easier and safer to simply lure them into open water out at sea. She liked the challenge, but more than that, she liked to be the last thing the men saw before they died. It made her feel powerful- to know how much they wanted her and could never have her.

If it was up to you, you would wait until nightfall and sing from a distance, letting your enchanting lullaby guide the men from their beds straight into a watery grave. You didn’t take pleasure in their deaths, even if you knew it was necessary. Unnatural your sisters teased, for a Siren to have such a soft heart. Amalia never joined in with the teasing, though you knew she didn’t really understand you either. Still, she indulged you by allowing you to act as scout, and that meant you could mostly narrow down the targets to pirates and slavers, offering the fishermen and other sailors some small semblance of protection.

Whenever possible, you would scout several ships at a time, so that you could choose the one you wanted and hopefully sway Amalia towards it when you returned to discuss your findings. Unfortunately, only one ship had passed through your waters in almost a month, and although you felt it was worth saving, there was no second option.

When you met with Amalia, you thought carefully about what you had found before you spoke, deciding on the major details you should share with her and filtering out your own more personal observations.

At first glance, it had seemed like a Pirate ship, but further investigation proved that it was not. The crew was an eclectic mix of men, women, and Grisha, of various ages and races. The captain - who went by the name Sturmhond and insisted he was not a pirate, but a privateer - was young, barely out of boyhood, and yet it was clear that he commanded their respect.

He ran a tight ship, but he always treated his crew warmly and he worked alongside them often, doing his fair share of the hard work. He was rarely angry and never cruel, as far as you could tell. At night the crew would gather on the deck to drink and play cards, and he usually joined them. He didn’t seem to think himself above their company as some captains would. You watched him dance and laugh along with the others, and when he lost at cards, he always took it in good humour.

In the conversations you had overheard, the captain’s responses were measured and kind, free from judgment or scorn. Although they carried an impressive arsenal of weapons, you had witnessed no violence from him, nor any of his crew. No prisoners taken, no poor souls forced to walk the plank, no slaves bound in the hull of his ship.

He spent most of his hours working on some flying contraption and after several failed tests, you saw his joy when it actually worked. He was a good man, you had concluded. Intelligent and funny, and handsome, too. You tried to imagine Amalia’s face if you admitted that last bit out loud - she would probably think you had taken leave of your senses completely.

You bit your lip, wondering how you could persuade her to spare them, to spare him.

“Actually, I was thinking… maybe we should… let this one go,” you suggested tentatively. Might as well just be direct.

Amalia stared at you as though you had grown an extra head. “Let them go?” She said after a moment, her nose scrunching in disgust. “You think these men should live?”

“They aren’t just men,” you rushed, trying to justify yourself. “There are women on the crew, and Grisha too.”

“And?” Amalia prompted.

“And, they don’t deserve to be punished for the sins of men,” you argued, “they’re innocent.”

Amalia rolled her eyes, “They’ve chosen to take up with a pirate, have they not?”

“Privateer,” you corrected, but the moment the word was out you wished you could call it back.

Amalia narrowed her eyes suspiciously at you. “Privateer?” She echoed.

“Yes?” You squeaked, and it sounded more like a question than an answer. You cleared your throat. “Yes. He’s not a pirate, he’s a privateer, and he’s a good man, Amalia. I’ve seen it.”

Amalia laughed, “There is no such thing as a good man,” she muttered, “They are all the same. Weak-minded, arrogant, selfish creatures. They live only for violence and destruction.”

“Not him,” you said firmly. “He’s not like the others.”

“He’s exactly like the others,” she snapped, “If you gave him the chance, he would kill you without a second thought.”

“No,” you argued, “You’re wrong about him. He’s smart and kind, and good. I swear it.”

She studied you for a long moment and you tried not to fidget under her disapproving gaze. Your cheeks felt hot, and you knew you were probably blushing.

“Oh, don’t tell me you’ve gone and fallen in love with him!” She exclaimed finally.

You said nothing, but your silence was answer enough. You looked away, pressing your lips together. It was out there now, no point in trying to deny it.

“Foolish girl,” Amalia said, shaking her head. “There is no future for you with him, surely you must see that?”

“Of course I do,” you whispered, blinking away the tears that threatened to spill over. “But I won’t watch him die Amalia. Not this one. I can’t.”

Amalia sighed, and then she surprised you by pulling you in to a tight hug.

“Please,” you begged, voice breaking.

“There’s a storm coming,” she murmured into your hair, “I suppose we could wait it out.”

“We could?” You questioned hopefully.

“If they can survive it, on their own, then we will leave them be. That’s the best I can do.”

Relief flooded through you, and you hugged Amalia tighter. “Thank you!” You cried.

She pulled back to look at you, her expression troubled. “I know you don’t want to believe it, but men are dangerous. All men. Even your privateer,” she said seriously, hands gripping your shoulders, “So if I do this, if I let him live, it is on the condition that you agree to stay away from him. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” you answered without hesitation. You would do anything to protect him.

“You must never see him again. Not ever. Promise me,” she insisted.

“I promise,” you said, the words bitter on your tongue.

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The sea was rough, waves cresting 30ft high only to crash back down, as loud as thunder. You watched as the ship rose and fell along with them. You weren’t supposed to be here, had promised to stay away, but you couldn’t help yourself. You had to know that he would be ok. Amalia had agreed to wait until the storm had passed, but if the ship ran aground her small act of mercy wouldn’t matter.

You moved closer, letting the current sweep you towards the ship. It had to be taking on water, but so far, the crew seemed to be holding on. Once you were close enough, you watched them carefully. The Grisha who usually guided their sails spread his arms wide, fighting a losing battle against the ferocious winds. He was just a boy, and not nearly powerful enough to tame such a storm alone. A woman jumped from the lookout, rolling across the deck, and landing gracefully on her feet beside a tall man with similar features. They moved to secure the main sail, working in perfect tandem. A man in a teal coat ran from post to post, tightening the rigging and testing the knots before making his way to the helm to take the wheel. Sturmhond. His hair was plastered to his face, his clothes soaking wet. He took the wheel with both hands, pulling hard to the left, and though his expression was determined, you could sense his growing desperation.

The ship slowly began to turn, forcing the bow away from the storm. Trying to outrun it. For a moment it looked as though his plan might actually work, but then suddenly the ship listed dangerously starboard. Sturmhond struggled to right it, but it was too late. A wave crashed over the now tilted masts, snapping them clean away with a force that rolled the entire ship on to its side. It bobbed precariously for half a second, sailors clinging to the railings, before another wave hit, cracking the hull. If they weren’t taking on water before, they certainly were now. Finally, a voice called out, “ABANDON SHIP!” and the crew began leaping into the sea, frantically trying to escape the wreckage before it capsized completely.

Your eyes scanned the chaos, looking for Sturmhond. You found him clambering up one side of the railing, the ship already beginning to sink beneath his feet. He was looking around, searching for something. Checking all his crew had managed to get out. And then you saw it, at the same time he did - the Grisha crewman, hanging upside down, tangled in the remains of the rigging. The boy struggled, desperately trying to free himself, but he was stuck. Jump, you urged the privateer silently, leave him, but you already knew he wouldn’t. He turned away from the water and began climbing towards his crew mate instead. Stupid. He would never make it in time. The ship was sinking rapidly. In just a few precious seconds it would go under, and when it did, anyone still on it would be pulled under along with it.

You wanted to help him, but you knew you shouldn’t. You thought of your promise to Amalia. She would be furious if she found out you were here, even more so if you interfered. You hesitated, still watching from a safe distance as Sturmhond reached the Grisha with barely a moment to spare. He tugged a knife from his boot and cut the boy free, allowing him to drop safely into the water beneath them. The boy didn’t wait for his captain, he immediately began swimming away from the wreckage. But before Sturmhond could follow, another huge wave swept over the ship, dragging it - and him - underwater, just as you had predicted. He was going to drown.

You made a split-second decision, diving under the water to search for him. The weight of the sinking ship acted like a vacuum, sucking everything downward to the sea floor. You followed it down, but you couldn’t see him anywhere. Panic clawed at your chest. Had he made it to the surface by himself? You turned, ready to go back up, when a flash of teal and gold below you caught your eye. There. You dove back down, looping your arms under his and hauling him against you. He was limp, a heavy weight in your arms. You held him tight, swimming away from the wreckage and towards the surface as fast as you could.

When you reached the surface, you pulled him above the water line, working hard to keep you both afloat. His head lolled back on your shoulder and his eyes were closed. You weren’t sure if he was breathing, and you felt panic building again. You tried to ignore it as you headed for the shore, where you shifted quickly into human form. Once you had dragged him onto the wet sand, you laid him on his back and pressed your ear to his chest. There was no sound, no movement that suggested breathing. Maybe he swallowed too much water?

You turned his head to the side and then placed your hands over his stomach and pushed upwards, hard. Was that the right thing to do? You weren’t sure, but you thought you had seen it done before, once… maybe. Nothing happened. You tried again, and again… and again. Were you doing it wrong … or were you just too late? But then, suddenly, he was coughing up a lungful of water and gasping for breath as he came round. After a few moments he blinked his eyes open, finding you still leaning over him.

“Am I dead?” He mumbled.

“No,” you assured him. Thank the sea goddess! Overcome with emotion, you flung yourself at him, sobbing in relief. His arms closed around you hesitantly, though he surely thought you were insane - a perfect stranger, crying over him and hugging him without invitation.

The storm was over and the sea eerily still by the time the rest of his crew managed to make it to shore. You had calmed yourself, and Sturmhond was sitting up, chatting amiably with you, as if he hadn’t almost died mere minutes earlier. You learned that he had another ship, the Volkvolny, and he cheerfully informed you that really, the storm had done him a favour, because he hadn’t liked the other one all that much anyway. It was nothing short of a miracle that everyone had survived the wreckage with only minimal injuries, and that put them all in a remarkably good mood considering the circumstances. Sturmhond introduced you to the crew, and casually insisted you join them at the local tavern, to dry off and have a strong drink, or two.

As you got to your feet, you caught sight of Amalia at the far side of the shore. Too far away to really make out her features, but you could imagine the look of disappointment on her face. You had broken the promise you made her, and worse than that, here you were walking and talking with humans as though you were old friends. To top it all off, you had committed a cardinal sin amongst Sirens - you had saved a man’s life. You had chosen a man over your sisters, and no matter how much Amalia loved you, this was the one thing she could not forgive.

At the tavern, you quickly discovered that Sturmhond and his crew were a lively, friendly bunch. You were treated as the guest of honour since you had saved the captain’s life, and they welcomed you with open arms. So, when they planned to move to the Volkvolny, and asked if you wanted to come along, you agreed to go with them.

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It was far easier than you would have expected for you to adjust to your new life aboard the Volkvolny. You found that you had watched enough Sailors over the years to pick up some of the basics and luckily you hit it off with Tamar, who quickly took you under her wing, teaching you the more advanced skills. You listened to endless hours of poetry readings from Tolya, and in exchange he offered to teach you how to fight. In fact, most of the crew accepted you readily. In truth, a lot of the men had just been so enthralled by your ethereal beauty that they were half in love with you at first sight, and the fact that you had saved their captain’s life had been enough to endear you to the rest.

All except for one woman, a young Grisha heartrender named Laila who seemed set on hating you no matter how hard you tried to befriend her. Tamar said it was jealousy - Laila wanted to be the captains favourite but he had never shown any interest in her, and now with you around, he likely never would. You tried not to let it bother you, but you were worried that she might sense something was different about you and early one morning she confirmed your fears when she cornered you in the galley, pushing you up against the wall.

“I’m on to you,” she hissed, “you’re hiding something and I’m going to figure out what it is.”

You played it cool, pretending you had no idea what she meant, and though you briefly considered throwing her overboard, you ultimately decided it was too risky. Instead, you did your best to avoid her at all times, at least as much as you could avoid someone living in such close proximity, and you became an expert at hiding in plain sight.

The bond you had formed with Sturmhond as a result of saving his life grew into a fully-fledged friendship, and then, into something sweeter. Over time, you found yourself sharing his bed as well as his company, and once he trusted you enough to reveal his true identity - Nikolai Lantsov, royal spare to the Ravkan throne - you were moved into the captain’s quarters permanently.

You missed Amalia and being on the sea everyday but never in it, was its own special kind of torture, but you had made your choice and you would do it all over again in a heartbeat. You would choose him, always, whatever the cost. So, you vowed never to use your power again, if it only meant you could keep this new life, if it meant you could keep him. But of course, nothing was ever that simple.

You had been on the Volkvolny for almost a year when it finally happened…

The crew were gathered in a loose circle on the lower deck, chatting and sharing several bottles of liquor, relaxing after a long day. You followed Nikolai down the steps to join them and when he took the only empty seat, you didn’t hesitate to drop yourself into his lap. A chorus of wolf whistles and hooting erupted from the crew around you.

“Perverts,” you muttered, giving them the middle finger and they all laughed.

Nikolai looped his arm around your waist, pulling you closer. You leaned against him, fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, content to just be close to him while the crew drank and talked around you. You joined the conversation only when spoken to directly and luckily no one noticed your contemplative mood, as they all got steadily drunker and rowdier as the night went on. At some point, someone started singing a sea shanty and one by one the rest of the crew joined in, happy and loud, and painfully off-key. You smiled and clapped along, but otherwise stayed quiet. Laila was watching you carefully from across the circle.

“You’re not singing,” she said suddenly, and you were sure you weren’t imagining the accusation in her tone.

“Oh, no one wants to hear my singing,” you laughed nervously, waving her off, “honestly I’m terrible.”

She narrowed her eyes at you. “You can’t be that bad. Come on, just sing a few lines,” she pushed.

You shifted uncomfortably on Nikolai’s lap. His hand tightened on your waist, and you knew he was listening. You struggled to think of another excuse. “I- umm…”

“Leave her alone,” Tamar interjected, and you flashed her a grateful smile for coming to your rescue. “She doesn’t have to sing if she doesn’t want to.”

“But she never wants to sing,” Laila muttered petulantly, “don’t you think that’s odd?”

“What’s odd is you insisting she does,” Nikolai said, an unmistakable edge to his voice. “Let it go Laila.”

Laila flushed at the reprimand. She reluctantly fell silent again, but she was glaring at the drink in her hands, her expression murderous. Silence stretched awkwardly for a few seconds, until Tolya thankfully broke it by producing a deck of cards and starting a game.

You declined to play, and as the cards were dealt you turned your attention away. Through the gaps in the railings, you could see the miles of deep blue sea that stretched all the way to the horizon, and you felt a familiar pull, calling you home. You closed your eyes as you inhaled deeply, letting the salty air fill your lungs. Home. You would never be truly at home here, on this ship, and that thought filled you with sadness. You thought of Amalia, and you wondered if she missed you, the way that you missed her.

You were pulled from your reverie by Nikolai shifting beneath you. He leaned over you to throw his cards down on the table, declaring he was bowing out of the game and then he sat back, pulling you further into his lap.

“Everything alright, my love?” He asked quietly, his lips brushing your ear. You pushed away your melancholy, turning your head so you could look at him.

“Yes,” you murmured, and you meant it. You wanted to be here, with him, no matter how much you might miss home.

“Thinking about how absurdly handsome I am?” He waggled his eyebrows at you, and you laughed.

“No, but I was thinking about you,” you admitted, “about how I ended up here.”

“Ah, so you’re thinking about the time you saved my life then. No wonder you looked so serious.”

“Which time?” You mused, teasing him, “There are so many, I think I’ve lost count.”

Nikolai gasped, all faux outrage. “Once.” He insisted, “It was one time.”

“If you say so,” you smiled indulgently as he leaned in to kiss you, slow and deep, his hand cupping your jaw. The whistling and jeering immediately started up again. You pulled away, rolling your eyes at the crew’s antics.

Nikolai sighed. “For Saints sake,” he grumbled, but he sounded more fond than angry.

When you looked up, Laila was glaring at you. She fixed a smile on her face as you met her gaze, but it didn’t reach her eyes.

“I’ve been thinking,” She said loudly, gaining everyone’s attention, “what exactly happened, the night you joined us? We’ve never heard your side of the story.”

Had she figured it out? You tried to keep your expression as neutral as possible, but you had stared at her for a beat too long, and now everyone was looking at you, waiting for your answer.

“There’s really not much to tell,” you said carefully.

“Don’t be so modest,” Laila said, her smile sharp, “you saved the Captain’s life after all, and I want to hear every detail.”

Your heart pounded. You should have pushed her overboard when you had the chance. As you tried to come up with a plausible story, the ship was suddenly engulfed in a thick fog.

After that, everything happened so quickly that you barely understood it. One moment you were sailing in open water, the night clear and still, and the next, you were dodging gunfire in near blindness, as men appeared from nowhere and swarmed the ship. The crew fought valiantly, but you were outnumbered and outmatched by a pair of the most powerful Grisha you had ever encountered. You had heard rumours about the drug jurda parem, and now it seemed you were seeing it’s effects first hand. All around you was chaos and you couldn’t keep track of anything. Before long, most of your crew were injured and eventually, all of them captured.

The fog dissipated as quickly as it had appeared, and then there was Nikolai - bleeding, gagged and bound - forced to his knees on the deck of his own ship.

A man grabbed you from behind, holding you against his body with an arm around your waist and a hand twisting painfully in your hair. Nikolai tried to call out as he caught sight of you and your captors laughed.

“Looks like we’ve found the captain’s whore,” one of the men chuckled.

The one holding you ran his hand up from your waist to roughly grab at your breast. You held perfectly still, you weren’t going to give these animals the satisfaction of a reaction, but Nikolai struggled against his bonds, and the man standing over him backhanded him hard across the face. He swayed on his knees, the force of the blow almost knocking him over, and blood trickled from the fresh wound at his temple. The men began talking amongst themselves, loudly detailing all the disgusting things they would enjoy doing to you later.

“Don’t worry,” Nikolai’s captor taunted him, “we’ll let you watch.”

Nikolai struggled again, cold rage clear in his eyes as the men laughed. For a brief moment, he managed to get to his feet, but that only gave his captor an excuse to hit him again, and again, until he slumped to the floor, and when you screamed in protest, the men laughed harder, enjoying your misery.

These men were going to die today, you decided, and you would not show them the mercy of a quick death.

You closed your eyes, took a deep breath, and started to sing. At first the men only looked at each other in confusion, but as your melody continued, they gradually fell under your spell, their eyes glazing over. You tried your best to focus only on them, but it wasn’t an exact science, so your crew also felt the effects. Conveniently, they were all bound and so had little chance of hurting themselves.

You concentrated on the Grisha first since they were the biggest threat, followed by the rest of the men. At your instruction, they turned as one, and forming an orderly line, walked to the side of the ship before binding their own hands and feet together. Then they clambered up onto the railing, and one by one, threw themselves into the water, like lemmings leaping off a cliff. You saved the man who had smacked Nikolai for last, and before he jumped, had him stab himself with his own blade several times, just for good measure.

Once the last man entered the water, you stood at the railing, feeling a perverse sense of satisfaction as you watched them trying, and failing, to fight against their bonds in an effort to return to you. You watched each one slowly begin to sink beneath the water, and only once you were sure there would be no chance that any of them might survive, did you stop singing and move away. When it was done, you set about releasing your crew from their bindings and tending to their wounds as best you could. They were groggy from the after-effects of your song, and it took some hours for everyone to fully come around. No one could really remember what had happened, and you pretended not to know either. You could only cross your fingers and hope that no one realized the truth of what you had done.

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Nikolai was quiet in the aftermath, and though he put up a good front for the rest of the crew, you could tell he was shaken by what had happened. Once everyone was attended to, he announced he was going to his office and he took your hand, pulling you along with him. You followed him to the captain’s quarters in silence.

He let you enter first and you heard the soft click of the lock as he closed the door behind him. You perched yourself on the edge of his desk as you waited for him, but when he turned, he leaned back against the door instead of coming closer. His face was set, his eyes hard, and you knew that he had finally figured out your secret. Honestly, you were surprised it had taken him this long, you had always known it was only a matter of time. You watched him carefully, but you said nothing, waiting for him to speak first.

“You’re a Siren,” he said finally.

You nodded your head in answer, even though he hadn’t phrased it as a question. He stared at you for a long moment, and you could almost hear the cogs turning in his mind, mulling over the many questions he must have. Eventually he seemed to settle on one.

“How many innocent men have you killed?” He asked.

“Innocent?” You huffed, “None.”

He narrowed his eyes at you, “But you have lured men to their deaths, haven’t you?”

“I have.” You conceded. He knew what you were now, there was no reason to lie.

“So? How many?” He pressed. “You must have some idea.” He crossed his arms over his chest, closing himself off to you.

“I didn’t exactly keep a tally,” you muttered.

“Tell me,” He demanded, “Dozens? Hundreds? Thousands?”

“I don’t know,” you admitted, suddenly unable to meet his gaze, “I can’t remember them all.”

“Those men had lives and families,” he said, outraged, “they were someone’s father, brother, son, and you don’t even remember them?!”

You felt your own temper beginning to rise and you struggled to keep your voice even. “They were Slavers. Murderers and Pirates. They were the worst kind of men.”

“You don’t know that!” He argued, “What right did you have to judge them?”

“I’m a Siren,” you reminded him, “It’s what I was born to do. I followed them first, watched them, saw what kind of men they were with my own eyes. I only ever took the bad ones.”

He shook his head in disbelief. “So now you expect me to believe Sirens follow some kind of moral code?”

“Not all Sirens, but I expect you to believe that I do.”

“How am I to believe anything you say” he scoffed, “You’ve been lying to me since the day we met.”

“I didn’t lie to you, not really. Everything I told you about myself was true. I just omitted one small detail.”

He laughed, but there was no humour in it. “I think we have a vastly different understanding of the word small,” he muttered, “and a lie by omission is still a lie.”

He wasn’t wrong, but … “You lied to me too, Sturmhond.”

He straightened, no longer leaning against the door, but still kept the distance between you. “That’s hardly the same!” He protested.

“Isn’t it?”

“Not at all,” he huffed, “besides, I told you the truth once I thought I could trust you. Although clearly, I was mistaken.”

“You can trust me,” you insisted. “In case you’ve forgotten, I saved your life - twice. You’re welcome, by the way!”

He didn’t look convinced. “That first night, when you rescued me, were you watching the ship? Just waiting for an opportunity to kill us all?”

“No! I mean, yes - I watched you for a while, but I was never going to lure you. I convinced my sister to let you go,” you rushed, desperately trying to explain, “I promised to stay away from you and in return Amalia agreed that they wouldn’t go after you, if you survived the storm on your own.”

“But we didn’t,” he said, brow furrowed in confusion. “The ship sank and I almost drowned.”

“I remember. I was there when the storm hit. I saw you save the boy who was trapped in the rigging, and when you went under, I came after you.”

“I don’t understand. If you promised to stay away from me then why were you there?” He asked, frown deepening.

“I just needed to be know you would be alright,” you admitted softly, “I wasn’t supposed to help you.”

“I don’t suppose many Sirens would go out of their way to save a man from drowning,” he said, mouth curving into a wry smile.

“No. It goes against their nature. But you decided to act the hero and almost got yourself killed in the process,” you muttered angrily, “so I had to choose, and I chose you, even though I knew my sisters would never forgive me.”

“So, you really did save my life? That was real?”

“Yes. Everything between us has been real for me, I swear it,” you said earnestly, “I gave up everything for you.”

He moved towards you then, coming to stand over you where you were still sitting on the edge of his desk, and you widened your thighs to allow him in between them. He was so close that you had to tilt your head back to look at him. You closed your hands in to fists, fighting the urge to reach for him.

“And tonight?” He asked, “Did you kill those men?”

You could have lied, or pretended not to remember what happened, but you didn’t want there to be anymore secrets between you. “I did,” you confessed, meeting his eyes. You weren’t ashamed of what you had done. “and I would do it again if I had to. They would have killed you.”

“You’re not sorry,” he said, and you wondered if he wanted you to be.You thought about it for a moment, but when you closed your eyes, you could still see him on his knees. No. You weren’t sorry at all.

“They got what they deserved,” you hissed, “and the world is a better place without them in it.”

He gave a short, sharp nod of his head in agreement, and you smiled. Whatever he thought of you, he understood this at least.

“Tell me why,” he said, lifting a hand to brush your hair back from your face. “Why did you save me?”

“Because I love you,” you answered honestly, leaning into his touch when his hand lingered. “I loved you then and I love you now, even if you don’t feel the same.”

He dropped his hand, taking a single step back and you had to stop yourself from swaying forward, chasing the physical connection.

“How do I know that my feelings for you are truly my own? That you’re not influencing me somehow?”

“In what way?”

“I don’t know,” he said, “by using your Siren powers to manipulate me? To seduce me? How do I know you’re not just making me think I’m in love with you.”

“Are you?” You asked hopefully, “In love with me?”

He looked away. “Maybe,” he hedged.

“Well, Siren power doesn’t work that way. My song inspires lust-addled obsession, blind desire, unwavering obedience - not love.”

He stared at you for what felt like an eternity, considering your answer. He worried his bottom lip between his teeth as he studied you, and suddenly all you could think about was how much you wanted to kiss him.

“Okay.” He said finally. He stepped closer, into your personal space again, but frustratingly kept his hands to himself.

“Okay?”

“Yes. I believe you,” he said, “but you still should have told me. I had the right to know that the woman I’m sleeping with, the woman I fell in love with is a-“

“A monster?” You finished for him. You knew what men thought of creatures like you.

He glared at you. “Don’t put words in my mouth.”

“That’s not what you were going to say?” You asked, feigning innocence.

“No.” He said firmly.

“Mmm,” you hummed skeptically. “So you’re not afraid of me?”

He blinked at you, as though the thought hadn’t even crossed his mind. “Should I be?”

“Well, a little bit couldn’t hurt,” you teased.

He shook his head exasperatedly, but he was smiling now, that perfect crooked smile that never failed to make your heart skip a beat. He put his hands around your waist, finally, pulling you into him and you fisted your hands in his shirt to keep him there. He lowered his head at the same time that you tilted yours up, and your lips ghosted over each other, close enough to share a breath but not quite touching.

“I have one last question,” he said, and you bit back a sigh. For saints sake, what else could he possibly want to know?

“Have you ever used your power to seduce me?”

You squinted at him, trying to decide if he was saying you might need to use your power to seduce him. You felt a flush of annoyance at the suggestion. “No,” you said carefully, “should I?”

He shook his head, no. “I already want you,” he admitted.

“Good,” you smiled, “because I want you too. All the time.”

The corner of his mouth tipped up into a pleased little smirk. “Yeah?”

“Mmhmm,” you hummed, leaning into him, and this time he kissed you for real, his lips soft but insistent against your own, not pulling away until you were both breathless.

“I’m still angry with you,” he said, when he finally succumbed to the need for air, “for lying to me.”

“I’m sorry,” you murmured, and you meant it.

“I know,” he said and then he dipped his head to kiss you again.

He brought his hand up to cup your face, the other still gripping your waist as you opened your mouth to him. He took the opportunity to deepen the kiss, tangling his tongue with your own and every time you pulled back, he only allowed you to draw a single, ragged breath before he claimed your lips again.

One of his hands ran up your side from your waist, until his thumb grazed the swell of your breast over the thin cotton of your shirt, and you shivered, leaning into his touch. You could feel his growing arousal against your thigh, and you were suddenly overwhelmed by the need to feel his bare skin against your own. You tugged his shirt free from his breeches, pulling it up and off over his head before he could protest.

He immediately slanted his mouth over yours again, as if he couldn’t bear to be parted from you for more than a few seconds, and you let your hands roam over his broad shoulders and chest, before you worked on removing your own shirt. Your fingers slipped over the small buttons, and you growled in frustration, breaking away from his kiss so that you could see what you were doing. He made a sound of irritation, ducking his head to nip lightly at the curve of your neck and you gasped, your shirt momentarily forgotten as you grabbed a fistful of his hair instead. He groaned low in his throat when you pulled him closer rather than pushing him away, and he nipped at you again, teeth grazing your pulse point, this time hard enough to leave a mark. You moaned as his tongue flicked out to sooth the sting and you felt his lips turn up into a self-satisfied smirk against your skin.

When you finally succeeded in unbuttoning your shirt, you reached around your back to unhook your bra and removed that along with it, and then you dropped your hands to the laces of his breeches before he could distract you again. He finally realized your goal then, and began to help, rather than hinder you, pushing his breeches and underwear down to his ankles so that he could kick them away. You stood so that you could do the same and once you were both naked, he lifted you back up, so you were sitting on the edge of his desk again.

You leaned back on your hands, and he dipped his head, capturing one pebbled nipple with his tongue. You arched your back, pushing your breast further into his mouth as his fingers skated along your inner thigh towards your centre. He gave a small grunt of satisfaction when he found you slick and ready for him and you threaded your fingers through his hair, tugging him upwards until he released your nipple with a soft pop.

He slipped two fingers inside you easily, and when you clenched around him, he let out a distinctly strangled sound. You met his gaze as you sat up, so you could hook your legs around his thighs, locking your ankles behind his ass to keep him there, and you enjoyed the way his eyes fluttered closed and his breath hitched as his cock settled between your thighs, so close to where you wanted him. You tilted your hips up, and he took the hint, guiding himself into place and filling you completely with one quick, hard thrust that had you crying out.

You clutched at him desperately, barely able to do anything but hold on as he set a punishing pace, driving his hips forward fast and hard, only to retreat, again, and again, until you were both panting. His hands gripped your hips so hard that you knew there would be finger shaped bruises there tomorrow. The desk creaked loudly, almost drowning out your mutual sounds of pleasure, the sturdy wooden frame rocking beneath you with the force of his thrusts.

His face was buried in your neck, and you tugged impatiently on his hair as you felt the first tendrils of your impending orgasm began to creep up your spine, until he lifted his head so that you could capture his mouth with yours. He slipped his hand between your bodies as he felt you tightening around him, his clever fingers finding your clit and tipping you over the edge into climax with just a few precise movements. You cried out his name, convulsing around him as you came, your hand tightening in his hair so hard that it must have been painful, and you felt his rhythm falter. He thrust harder, pushing as deep as he could possibly go, once, twice, three times, then he stilled and shuddered, spilling himself inside you.

You all but collapsed against each other, both boneless and breathing heavily in the aftermath of your orgasms. He was the first to recover, and he pressed a sloppy kiss to your temple as he straightened, retreating from your body. He moved over to the basin near the bed, dipping a clean cloth into the water and wringing it out before returning. His hands were gentle, in stark contrast to how rough he had been minutes before and you tried not to wince as he carefully cleaned away the sticky remnants of your shared release, but his observant eyes caught it anyway. He pressed a finger under your chin to gently tilt your head up.

“Did I hurt you?” He asked, face creased in concern.

“No,” you answered, much too quickly.

He raised his eyebrows at you, his expression disbelieving.

“I’m a little bit sore,” you reluctantly admitted.

His face dropped into a scowl, and you knew he was angry at himself for being so rough with you.

“I’m ok,” you assured him, brushing your fingers across his forehead to smooth away his frown.

He searched your face, looking for any sign that you might not be telling the truth and you met his gaze, your expression loving and completely open. He rested his forehead against yours, peering down at you through his lashes.

“Don’t lie to me,” he said after a moment, and you knew he wasn’t just talking about right now.

“Never again,” you promised.

“Okay.” He said softly.

He leaned in to kiss you, sweet and chaste, just a slow glide of his lips over yours before pulling back to slide one arm underneath you and the other around your back. You squealed as he scooped you up, bridal style, so that he could carry you over to the bed. He pulled back the covers with one hand and then lowered you down and crawled in beside you, immediately curling his body around you.

You tried to relax into his embrace, but you couldn’t, not when there was still so much you needed to talk about. You were afraid to bring it up, too scared to hear him say that this was the last time you could be together, so you waited until his breathing began to even out and he was almost asleep before you forced yourself to speak.

“What happens now?” You asked quietly.

“Huh?” He mumbled sleepily.

“With us,” you elaborated, “do you want me to leave?”

“What? No.” He said, suddenly sounding much more alert, “Of course not.”

He rolled on to his back and you turned to face him, propping yourself up on your elbow so that you could look at him.

“What will you tell the crew?”

“Nothing,” he said simply, and though you should have been relieved, you only felt more anxious.

“But Laila is already suspicious,” you pointed out, “and Tolya and Tamar are too sharp not to figure it out eventually.”

“Then we’ll tell them the truth.”

“They won’t want me on this ship when they find out what I am, Nikolai.”

“Last time I checked, I was the captain,” he smirked, “I decide who I do, and don’t allow on my own ship.”

“Don’t be stupid, it doesn’t suit you,” you grumbled, “You’ll end up with a mutiny on your hands.”

“Then we’ll leave,” he said easily, as if it was the most obvious solution.

“Leave?” You repeated, not sure you had understood.

He shrugged, seemingly completely unbothered by the idea. “I was always going to have to go home eventually.”

“You can’t just leave. You love this ship!” You protested.

“I do,” he said, turning on his side so that you were face to face, “but I love you more. It’s my turn to give something up. If it comes down to it, I’ll choose you, always.”

Your heart stuttered in your chest. Hadn’t you just been thinking that very same thought earlier? He leaned in to kiss you, slow and achingly sweet, and all of your protests died on your tongue. He nudged you gently to turn over, pulling you back against him and wrapping his arm around you, so that you could be the little spoon as you finally went to sleep.

[caramelcuppaccino]

day 12 of my autumn studying challenge!:

• do you have any studying methods you use? if so, share them with us (please *sobs*)!

writing is the only method i know :(. i can remember if i write what i’m learning and it also helps to read it out loud as if giving lecture. and that’s it *sobs again*.

-> today i just revisited some notes before my mid-term and let me tell you this: i rocked it ehehehe! then i treated myself with a filter coffee with millk before the next class :].

[ickyarson777]

Many Eyed Vessel Fic Thing???

This title will change later I promise.

Anyway! I did some thinking about This Post and I’ve decided I’m gonna go all out and write a fic about it. This prompt is something I think about all the time, so I was very excited to receive it to say the least :)

That being said, I have no idea how any of this is gonna play out. Right now I’m thinking kinda slow burn entities-to-lovers type of thing??

Here it is though!! I promise if you like it, I’ll do my best to keep up with writing, and please, let me know what ya’ll want!! I’m here to please ;)

Chapter 1, 2

Tried to stay as gn as possible, no mentions of y/n or names, readers is just called ‘human.’

Word count: 2,132

Content warning: Maybe a bit of dread, spooky horror type stuff. Bit of violence, not anything horrible at all.

I glance around me as I walk through the quiet woods. Rays of light filtered through the leaves of the trees behind gradually being drowned out by the darkness of the shadows ahead of me.

I had traveled to a new city, and decided to take some time to explore the smaller nearby towns. London was great, but it was nothing compared to the smaller communities that were just outside of the larger city. The town I was in was smaller in comparison, greatly so. A couple of small neighborhoods, a few streets of shops, convenience stores and restaurants. On one side however, there was a forest that wrapped around half of the town.

Anytime I was in a small town like this, I always took the time to learn the local rumors. Any scandal, or story going around. As I was making my rounds through this small town, I’d heard tell of the forest containing monsters, creatures. Things that were definitely not meant for the human eye. Angels, demons.. it had me absolutely captivated. I needed to know more. So of course, after a good night's rest, I packed a backpack of supplies, put on some thermal wear, considering it was a chilly, bleary fall day, and made sure I had food and water to last the day.

And then I drove out to the edge of the forest, and began walking.

Immediately the air turned colder. I had this sense that I definitely shouldn’t be here, that something definitely didn’t want me here. Multiple something’s at that. It was exhilarating.

I stepped farther in, glancing around slowly. The day was already dark, but the canopy of branches were so tightly woven above, the forest seemed to be bathed in midnight, though I knew it was barely a quarter past ten in the morning. Luckly, it wasn’t dark enough that I couldn’t see, so I continued on.

It wasn’t a quiet walk, branches and leaves snapped and crunched beneath my feet, and I could hear birds singing their sweet songs. For how terrifying the image of the dark forest was, it was still peaceful here, even if I did have a small feeling of dread brewing beneath my subconscious.

I walked further in, approaching a small stream, and stepped through. The water wasn’t deep, barely reaching the middle of my shins at the deepest. I could feel the temperature of the water through my boots, which I was very glad to be waterproof. Freezing cold, of course it would be in weather like this. I crossed to the other side of the stream, and whatever sense of peace I’d had before was ripped away from me.

For a moment, I hesitated, unsure if I should continue. I glanced around, trying to steel my nerves. ‘Calm down,’ I thought to myself. ‘You hear a couple rumors about monsters in the woods and you’re scared straight. What kind of explorer are you if you can’t walk through the woods by yourself..’

I shook off the fear and continued walking. I came to a clearing, where the trees opened to reveal the sky above, still overcast with dark clouds. I’d checked the weather before coming out here, there wasn’t supposed to be any rain, but looking at the sky now, I wasn’t so sure. I take a deep breath and keep walking.

At this point, I’m maybe half a mile in, knowing forest monsters, they’re sure to be a bit further in than that. I think aloud while walking, about anything and everything, home, my family, my friends. I’ve been studying abroad for a couple months now. As an anthropology student, traveling has been an incredible experience for me, but that didn’t mean I didn’t miss home.

Eventually, a couple miles into the woods, I begin singing to myself. Nothing particular, and everything at the same time, I sing nursery rhymes and lullabies, and find ways to rework the words, making myself laugh. I counted on like this for another half a mile before I realized suddenly that there’s no longer any sounds around me. The birds have gone quiet, and the wind has hushed entirely, the rustle of the leaves above me silent. I pause for a moment, glancing around me carefully.

Suddenly a horrible, piercing screech sounds and I’m filled with an absolutely overwhelming sense of terror. I make a split second decision and decide to walk in the direction of the horrible sound.

As I come closer to the location of the sound, I begin to notice there’s a slight path that’s been worn into the ground here, and I come up on a large rock formation. Not quite a cliff but not just a boulder either. It looks easy enough to scale, and I silently assume someone might’ve already been doing just that, seeing as the slight path seems to end here.

I take a breath, tighten the strap of my backpack, and begin to climb. Quickly enough, I reach the top of the formation and glance down below me. I stare in horror at the thing I see before me. The thing was at least eight feet tall, and covered in a thick black substance. It’s face could’ve been white, but it was now stained, smeared with whatever covered the rest of it. Its eyes, mouth and nose, or at least what I assumed it was, were nothing but dark empty sockets. It’s body was large and bulbous, segmented, almost like the thorax of an insect, and decorated in skulls, mechanical limbs jutting out at odd angles, and there were many of them, spindly, covered in grime and gore down to the jagged needle-like tips. It clutched a battle ax, dark and covered in rust and dirt.

“What the fuck,” I whisper into the air.

In a split second the thing whipped its head towards me, its empty eyes taking me in. I take a step backwards and almost fall from my perch on the rock, forgetting where I stood.

It begins stepping towards me on its multiple long spindly legs, slowly at first, but then it begins picking up speed. I watch it, safe from its grasp high above it on the rock, but then tense as it shoots one of its legs out into the rock, embedding itself there. I stare in horror as it begins to climb.

“Oh fuck, fuck,” I say out loud, panicking slightly.

I turn and begin descending back down the rock the way I’d come. At the last couple of feet, I let go, dropping to the ground just as the thing makes its way over the top. It doesn’t even bother climbing back down, just throwing itself off and continuing its pursuit, I watch, terrified for a moment before turning and running. I don’t even bother trying to remember which way I’d come from, running in zigzagging patterns, trying to throw off the monster. I can hear it, the metallic grinding and groaning of the half organic half machine thing that was hot on my trail.

I wasn’t even looking where I was going, vision slightly blurry, eyes stinging with sweat that fell into them occasionally. I hear the thing even closer to me now. I gasp out in shock as I hear a sharp whirring sound pass my ear, knowing it was right on top of me, trying to grab me. With every fiber of my being, I pushed myself to run faster, lungs burning and adrenaline coursing through my veins. And then BAM! I slam into something.

I glanced up quickly, thinking I had run into a tree, but realizing a tree would’ve hurt a bit more, and probably wouldn’t have grabbed my arm, and pulled me behind it.

The hands that grabbed my wrists left dark black stains on my skin. I pause for a moment, letting my vision clear. The figure now stood in front of me, facing away, towards the monster. He’s tall, much taller than me, wearing a black cloak and black pants. One shoulder of his cloak is covered by a stark white pauldron, lined with deep red and encrusted with rough gold ore at the curve of his shoulder. He raised a hand towards the monster.

Quietly, in a dark, melodic voice, the man breathed a few words in a language I didn’t recognize. before him, the monster stared, twitching and writhing in its place, swaying on its many legs. It took a gentle step forward, lowering itself and pressing its face into the palm of the man's hand, before turning, lurching forward and walking away from us.

I stand there, taking heavy, shaking breaths. The man doesn’t turn to face me until the monster is out of sight, and when he does, I gasp.

His body is completely covered in black paint, there are streaks running through it, lines of sweat showing pale skin underneath, his chest is broad, toned, but not overly muscled. His hands are large, the paint of his palms, light and mostly missing, though the lines of his hands are deeply stained with dark paint. There are silver rings on many of his fingers, the edge of them tarnished from the paint, like the chains on his chest, stretching across his chest, underneath the cloak is a leather strap, perhaps holding the pauldron in place. He was beautiful, by all accounts, but his face left my jaw slack. The paint covered him up to his upper jaw, if there was more paint, I couldn’t tell as the top half of his face was obscured by a mask. Stark white, a huge contrast to the black on his skin, beautiful and intricate deep crimson lines swirling and curling along the bottom edge of the mask, forming a crescent around his mouth. Six holes in the shape of eyes line the front, dark black and almost sleepy in shape, dark red lines, perfectly symmetrical in shape crossed over under and above the eyes or the mask, forming a sigil or sorts.

I notice my mouth is open, and snap it shut quickly before opening it again, trying to think of something to say. Luckily, the stranger beats me to being the first to speak as words fail me.

“Are you hurt?” He asks simply, voice soft, reverberating through me and sending a shiver down my spine.

Slowly, I shake my head, still staring in awe. “Uh.. what.. what was that?” I ask softly.

Rather than answering my question, the stranger turns, beaconing me to follow him. “The people of the town don’t venture into these woods, you’re not from here.” What he says should’ve been a question, but I can tell he’s stating it as a fact. “You seem well prepared, well traveled in your own right, but that’s no reason to wander into an unknown wood.”

I follow after him, unsure of where we’re going. “I’m studying abroad,” I tell him, struggling slightly to keep up the pace with his long legs. “Heard some of the locals mention monsters in the woods, and I wanted to see for myself. Clearly… they weren’t lying.”

He glanced back at me over his shoulder. “What is it with humans always putting their noses where they can’t protect themselves?” He says it softly, almost in an endearing way.

‘Humans?’ I think to myself.

Before I realized it, we'd approached the stream I’d crossed when I first arrived.

“This is not a safe place for you,” the man says softly. “You are incredibly lucky to have escaped that creature with your life. Leave this place please, and do not return. There are… worse, more terrible things than that one in these woods.”

I turn to face him, ask him what else there is, but he’s gone. Not a single trace of his existence, no rustle or crunching of leaves underfoot, no thud of footsteps on the forest floor. For all I knew, I could’ve played the whole situation off as a psychotic episode. But I knew better. The dark handprints around my wrists and the blood that dripped from the small cut on my ear told me all the truth I needed.

I turn to walk to my car, opening my phone and pressing the call button. The phone rings for a moment before my mother picks up.

“Hello?” She says.

“Hey, Mom,” I say, opening the door and tossing my backpack into the back seat. “So you know how I said I was passing through this small town? I think I’ve changed my mind. I might spend a little while longer here. Something about it…” I mutter glancing into the trees, almost convincing myself that I can see him, blending into the dark shadows of the woods. “Something about it just captivates me.”

~~

OK!! Short little thing to get the story started, let me know if you want more!! I whipped this out in like 20 minutes, and thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it.