#My autistic ass does not know how to enjoy things normally

[cult-of-the-eye]

MAG 83 woop woop!!

JONNY BOY

ooh first proper statement in a while

Wait he took some statements with him??

Georgie is actually so right. I love her so much. He really needed some good fucking advice in his life from someone he hasn't thought might've killed someone before

I COULD BE ON DRUGS HAHAAAAAA NO YOU SMALL LOSER BOY

Why did he even jump to that conclusion?? I wasn't thinking ah yes drugs and I don't think a normal person reacting to this situation would immediately jump to drugs maybe insanity yes but not drugs

Universal autistic experience, having someone you're close to say that they know you "get obsessive about stuff"

YES GEORGIE!!!!! SHES THE ONLY ONE NOT FUCKING ENABLING HIM!!! HE DOESNT NEED THE STATEMENTS

oh shit is this the start of him depending on the statements??

Oh shit I guess not being able to go back to his flat makes him homeless

Oh right someone dropped the statement through the letter box

SHIT SOMEONE DROPPED IT THROUGH THE LETTER BOX

SOMEONE KNOWS WHERE HE IS

AND IS GIVING HIM STATEMENTS???

Fucking Elias I bet, who else would it be??? he was like yah I know where Jon is but I'm not gonna tell you to daisy and he's creepy enough to fucking send statements through the mail so there

Ok I'm sorry what was my man doing in those four days??? Sitting there rocking and muttering to himself staring at a fucking piece of paper?? Hmm?? Not fucking sleeping???

Investigating MY ASS what INVESTIGATION do you plan to do holed up in your ex gfs house???

Ah fuck he needs it

When does it stop becoming paranoia and start becoming an addiction?

YEAH GEORGIE YOU SHOULDNT BE KEEN ON WEIRD STALKERS KNOWING YOUR ADDRESS YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY CORRECT AND THE ONLY SANE PERSON IN THIS WHOLE PODCAST (apart from Joshua Gillespie and Karolina gorka my loves)

AHHH HE DIDNT EVEN GET THROUGH HEAD HES JUST GOOD OLD JONATHAN SIMS NOW

He doesn't have any of that pomp and fancy pants titles anymore, it's just the fucking paranoia and realisation that it's not just a normal job, he can't ignore it anymore

It's funny how it finally sinks in how it's not just a normal job when he gets fired from it

Ok just did a quick google fanton isn't a real department store that's a good start

Haha yeah customer service people deserve medals

Omg of course the tma transcripts write Halloween as Hallowe'en that's so tma of them

Oh fuck stranger alert

Oh shit is that Nikola??? As in everyone on Tumblr talks about her Nikola???

Her condition?? Why does it sound like they're describing her as a fucking werewolf??

Ok this is fucking creepy I actually fucking despise mannequins I don't think I'm gonna enjoy these stranger statements

FUCK I HATE CLOWNS

AHHHHHHHHH

Ooh she's smart she goes in with 999 dialled love that for her

oh FUCK that shhh was terrifying

Oh god Lana was killed???

Blood in a single neat line across her lips???

Uckinf SHITBALLS

Jesus fucking christ

I BET HIS ASS MISSES THOSE "EXPERT" ASSISTANTS

FUCKING BREEKON AND HOPE???

Circuses, skin, not quite real - the STRANGER

It seems like now he sort of knows what's going on, he's catching on really quickly, he's categorising things and using what he knows which is good it's steps in a positive direction

I guess he doesn't want another axe table fiasco

The taxidermy shop oh yeah the guy who was like yeah this is paranormal and creepy as fuck but he's not committing tax fraud so it's fine loved that guy

Elias probably sent it

Oh shit he doesn't know Elias knows where he is

SHIT IT WAS HAND DELIVERED

God poor Georgie, she's housing his pitiful ex boyfriend who lost his weirdo job and is going insane and bringing the weirdness to her life

What was he looking into??? Like Not-Them stuff??

"I've got work to do." Fucking famous last words

Jonathon "workaholic" Sims strikes again

Although I guess it's not workaholic when it's threatening your whole life

I guess it's just...surviving

[ts-witchy-archive]

Hello! I've seen a bit of wiccan (?) things for a while, if I were to start I wouldn't even know how to start though. (my autistic ass does not leave the house and my mom would probably think it's weird to make strange concoctions of things) I also don't really know how deities work and how do you find out which one your communicating with? Tbh I've always felt like someone is around but whatever god it is seriously fucking hates me /hj Been better since I started medication but like the luck I have is 50/50 good bad and that is probably not normal. If you answer this it'd be very helpful.

Hi! Thanks for the ask!

I just want to start by defining a few terms for you :)

Wicca/Wiccan: A pagan religion that focuses on nature, magic and witchcraft. It was founded in the mid 20th century and Wiccans primarily worship 2 Gods which are personifications of nature.

Witch: Just a person who practices witchcraft. It's a non-gendered term and a non-religious term/practice. Not all witches are Wiccan but all Wiccans are witches. Witches can be absolutely anyone

Personally, I'm not Wiccan so I can't really tell you much about that but if there is one thing I know, it's witchcraft! There are many different places to start but I'm going to condense it down as much as humanly possible. It'll probably feel like a bit of information overload so just try to take it slow and relax. Enjoy the learning.

My favourite book for beginner witchcraft is 'Witchery: Embrace the Witch Within' by Juliet Diaz. She is a fantastic author and wonderful human. Everything about the basics of witchcraft you could need is in that book (imo). You should be able to find a pdf online if you can't get a physical copy.

As for youtube channels with solid content:

Harmony Nice: She covers everything Wicca. She has a playlist with all her Wiccan/witchy content witch is linked here

The Witch of Wonderlust: Olivia has been a favourite witchy youtuber of mine for a while. I wouldn't recommend jumping into her videos without any prior knowledge but once you have a grasp on the bare bones it should be okay. Here is a playlist she made with everything you could possibly need when beginning witchcraft. SOrt through the videos and see what peeks your interest.

The Hearth Witch: Another wonderful account if I remember correctly. Her videos used to be on the longer end (30-60mins) so if you have a short attention span then maybe not but she has a wealth of information.

I also recommend joining a few discord servers, following a few pages on tumblr just to get acquainted with the community and terminology.

Okay, on to the deity work situation. Deity work is generally considered more intermediate in the witchcraft community. key words being 'Deity WORK'. Worship is completely fair game. Setting up an altar, praying, leaving offerings, doing activities in devotion to the deity is absolutely something you can do relatively quickly.

As for IDing a deity, most people do it through 'divination' which is things like tarot, a pendulum, dice, bone throwing, and other ways. Most people also ask for signs that a specific deity is 'reaching out' to them or wants them to pay attention. You can also politely ask someone who is volunteering their time on tumblr or a discord server to find out for you via divination. If they don't say their doing free readings, obviously, don't ask.

Finally. luck is luck. It makes no sense for a literal God to hate a human. We all have periods of shitty luck and awesome luck! I wouldn't blame that on anything. Sometimes bad things just happen unfortunately. But sometimes amazing things also happen, even if it's just as small is finding 5 cents on the footpath.

That was so long. Congrats if you made it to the end because I nearly didn't when writing this. I hope this helped a bit. Feel free to reach out if you need a hand with anything. Thanks :)

[autisdicksimmons]

I could literally talk about all of Simmons’s body issues for hours (no I’m not projecting ahaha) but yes he’s trans and struggles with disordered eating and he’s trans and he’s autistic and all combined those things give him a super hard time enjoying functioning as himself especially in body-related ways (these thoughts are gonna be disjointed deal w it sorry dude)

But like, the way that he gets after Grif when it comes to food, and drinking, and smoking, and everything else? Yet despite this, we know that he has quite the self-destructive streak (crying and punching mirrors) which makes him a huge hypocrite— so why get after Grif like that? One could say that it’s because he has his body parts, but that can’t be all true because he’s still getting mad at Grif before the surgery, so it’s just things that he finds inherently undesirable traits— traits that have anything to do with a lack of self control, which Simmons believes himself to have. Not to mention the fact that he doesn’t seem surprised at all when Sarge uses withholding rations as a punishment— so either A. Sarge does that a lot, which could be true though we never see him do it after season 1 B. He’s accustomed to this as a punishment.

I think B is most plausible, given Simmons’s general demeanor and upbringing. He gets mad at Grif for not doing anything to earn food, then “overindulging” anyway, where Simmons views food as just that: something to be earned. Likely he was sent to bed without supper as a punishment as a kid, or forced himself to study through meals or similar behaviors at the very least. In my own mind it goes further than that, but his relationship with food is definitely complicated (especially with his mentioning going vegan after having to eat a dog at a previous outpost??? Holy shit that’s a trauma). Especially being trans (bc he is) even though he speaks far more positively about his mother than his father, the way that body issues get passed down from mothers to their afab children? Even if it wasn’t an intentional thing on his mothers part, those things are too easy to pick up

More on the having to eat the dog thing too, that history of food insecurity/starvation, plus being generally food anxious, is definitely something that lends itself to rationing and portioning and keeping their stock organized… which he does. And then consistently gets mad at Grif for eating more than his planning has allowed for. What’s one of the first things we learn he’s been doing in season 11? Growing fucking cabbage. Which, for one, how, but also the fact that he’s the only one of them to do something like that says a lot about who he is. Stupid, anxious about food, and resigned to the fact that no one is coming to get them (or at least planning for that scenario).

Not to mention, trans people are WAY more likely to develop ED’s than cis people, and I don’t even need to go into all of the reasons I think he’s trans bc I feel like that’s a separate post and I’m sure someone else has already summarized it better— but anyway, picturing a young Simmons, struggling to fit in and be good enough for his parents and not hate himself entirely and have control over something? Yeahhh OOF plus, I’m also not explaining why I think he’s autistic rn, but adding autism to the mix? Having difficulty with certain foods and textures makes it hard to want to eat to begin with, and with the kinds of pressure he seems to have faced as a child to be strong and tough and athletic and generally not his nerdy self, having sensory problems probably made it just that much harder, making him hate the way his body responds to things other people, “normal people,” can handle fine, returning him to that cycle of self-hatred, and that’s just within himself ignoring all of the bullying we know that he’s faced. It’s no wonder the dude showers in his underwear still, like, bro’s self conscious and anxious and probably just generally does not like his body.

Also his ass is literally a fax machine. That’s gotta do a toll on the psyche

[vivvy-of-the-lake]

Bocchi is Trans and Gay (canon as far as i'm concerned)

Welcome to my blog, which is now obviously becoming much more clearly Bocchi-themed than I had originally intended it to be, as Bocchi the Rock continues to influence my personality and my interests to an insane degree

(I never got a chance to be obsessed over a fandom when I was going through my first puberty so now that I've got a second chance you're ALL gonna hear about it!!!)

I write Bocchi the Rock! fanfics for AO3, and you can check them out here!

I am also madly in love with my girlfriend @lambdaupsilon who got me into writing these fics in the first place :3

I post and reblog a LOT of stuff from Bocchi the Rock, but also a lot of horny stuff!!! For that reason, this blog is 18+ and minors are forbidden from following or interacting!!!

I'm using this blog less for horny stuff but I won't be stopping entirely! For more info on what I'm into, check under the "read more" link :3

I hope you enjoy your stay at my blog!!! Reblogs are always appreciated, especially if you leave notes in the tags - I love reading them!!! <3

I tag everything I post and reblog with the following set of tags!

#vivi's asks - Responses to any asks I receive! (They may also appear under #vivi's social skills if they're particularly old posts)

#vivi's barking - Petplay dog girl stuff O_O

#vivi the bocchi the rock - bocchi brainrot, very much the primary content on this blog now :3

#vivi's elise - Posts about my girlfriend @lambdaupsilon!!! In particular how hot she is and the things she's able to make me feel, but also cute dumb stuff she does that makes my heart flutter 💖💖💖

#vivi's foreheadpathy - Hoshikuzu Telepath brainrot. Umika is autistic and Yu has autism and ADHD and they are so fucking gay for each other

#vivi's goals - Things that I want to look like - this used to be typically not horny but that line is a little less ambiguous nowadays O_O

#vivi's humour - Funny things, not always consistent with the theme of the blog - just things I find funny! (As if this blog has a 'theme' anyway ;3)

#vivi's inflation - Inflation-related stuff O_O (Specifically, I'm into breast, ass, and stomach inflation but not really full inflation - stuff like arms puffing up or being one giant ball etc.)

#vivi's mutual bait - Anything that I just know some of my mutuals will eat up! ;3

#vivi's neediness - The go-to tag for horny content on this blog, always horny in nature and often things I want to do or have done to me!

#vivi's ordinary life - Nichijou brainrot. Yuuko has ADHD and Nano is a trans allegory :3

#vivi's piloting skills - Things to do with my desire to be a cute and cool WWII fighter pilot :3

#vivi's robotics - Anything related to robotgirls because I seem to be posting a lot of robotgirl stuff O_O

#vivi's seedtank - Cumflation specifically.

#vivi's social skills - Mostly anything that doesn't fit any of the above categories, often includes reblogging and interacting with mutuals <3

#vivi's writing - Occasionally I do writing!!! You can find my AO3 account in the link above :3

#vivi's vents - My ramblings whenever something upsets me and I just need to get it out. Not common, but if that bothers you don't be afraid to block this tag!

#vivi's yuri - Lesbians and sapphic relationships without necessarily being horny! Also used for yearning 🥺

Things I Want to Be:

Bunnygirl

Catgirl (mrrp nya :3)

Doggirl (SOOOOOOO NORMAL AND SUCH A GOOD GIRL)

Cowgirl (the Wild West kind)

Cowgirl (the milky big-breasted kind)

Robotgirl

Slimegirl

...the property of a hot woman O_O

Kinks/Things I'm Into:

Bondage

Breeding

Bullying (in a sexy way)

Consensual non-consent (CNC)

Cumflation

Deflation (only in the context of 'undoing' inflation)

Degradation

Expansion

Free use

Humiliation

Inflation (SO SO SO NORMAL ABOUT INFLATION I PROMISE)

Lactation

Objectification (ALSO SO SO SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS)

Oviposition

Petplay

Praise

Size difference (either being larger or smaller)

Stuffing

Teasing (both receiving and giving ;3)

Tentacles

...and I'm open to trying most things at least once!

Not Into:

Feederism (but it's not a DNI - just not my thing, although there is some overlap with stuffing)

Weight gain/slob (I prefer stuffing that focuses on a taut round belly)

DNI:

Cishet men (this is a queer space!!!)

Detrans as a kink or 'anti-trans' movement (if you're detrans but respectful of those who are trans then you're still welcome!!)

Raceplay

Sissification (I enjoy being a woman, and my humiliation kink doesn't relate to whether or not I'm a woman thank you very much)

...and more I've yet to think of

[neatfrog]

~Notes~

~occasional 18+ content

~queer faggot 🌈

~current things I can’t shut the fuck up about: hazbin hotel/helluva boss, fallout

~my art tag here !

~About~

~you can call me kitchie (pronounced like ‘kicsi’ in Hungarian - it’s a joke bc kicsi means small and I’m 4’11”)

~3 decades alive on this wretched planet

~married to someone I met on tumblr (follow ur dreams, kids)

~I enjoy cats and languages

~I write and draw (if the brain worms let me)

~I’m autistic and have adhd so if I do something weird pls just blame it on that

~I’m not kidding when I say I’m obsessed with languages, it’s my special interest since I was like 7

~fluent: english and french ; advanced: hungarian

~also OK: Norwegian, Spanish, German, Japanese, Chinese (Mandarin)

~can’t speak/write but can read sorta well enough: Brazilian Portuguese, Dutch, Danish, Swedish, Finnish (the only words I know are probably all from Antti Tuisku songs)

.

.

The rest is just my likes and shit, no obligation to read

~Likes~

video games

favs: Fallout, Baldur’s Gate 3, The Outer Worlds, Rule of Rose, Clocktower, ReMothered, Visage, The Evil Within, Resident Evil, the Dark Pictures series - most survival horror/horror in general.

I’ll admit that I often don’t have the patience for the horror games where you have to be all sneaky and try to find things & escape while constantly being chased, but I still really love those kinds of games and wish I had the patience to play them, so I’ll usually just watch a let’s play

I’m also a slut for some Mario Party, and my adhd ass can sit and play shit like Powerwash Simulator or House Flipper for hours

books/comics

horror/thriller/mystery mostly, but if it sounds interesting I’ll read whatever. we have like four shelves of Stephen King books

favs: The Walking Dead, Venom, GoT, A Series of Unfortunate Events, The Hunger Games

I still read manga occasionally (FMA will always be my #1 favorite)

movies

horror (any kind), foreign films, indie, comedy - again, if it sounds interesting and I’m in the mood then anything is cool. if you like horror and haven’t watched any Asian horror films, you definitely should do that

series/franchises that could be releasing their 20-quillionth remake/sequel and I would still be going to see it: saw, the purge, friday the 13th, scream, nightmare on elm st, VHS, Killjoy, Terrifier

ok I’d probably watch any Hunger Games movie too tbh

and literally anything ari aster does, I know that man’s some kinda fucked up but damn does he make some Movies

also Tubi has some really awesome shit on there, definitely worth checking out

tv shows

favs: Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss, Fallout, The Walking Dead, Resident Alien, Hannibal, Ted Lasso, The Boys, Disenchantment, Paradise PD/Farzar, WWDITS, GoT (minus s8), Supernatural (stopped around s14 and then they did That Thing at the end so it’s more of an old fav now)

I love Scandinavian crime thrillers/dramas 🤣

when starting a series it’s honestly whatever my spouse and I decide we feel like watching at the time. I usually prefer comedy or horror, but we’ve been known to watch other things

I’ll admit I’m also a sucker for crime shows like CSI, I had season 3 on dvd as a kid and rewatched it all the time. I used to watch it and Criminal Minds with my parents so it’s kind of nostalgic cause it’s like one of the few things we all did together

(I used to be into anime but I haven’t really been feeling it for a while. My first anime was InuYasha (still holds a special place in my ❤️). My all-time favorite is Fullmetal Alchemist, and I enjoyed Death Note and JJBA a feral normal amount. Black Butler was also 👌🏻 and I still need to finish the manga)

music

90% of the music I listen to isn’t in English. I don’t really need to understand the lyrics, I just like how it sounds. Like Finnish music is so catchy I can’t explain it but the way it rolls off the tongue is so nice. It does end up being funny sometimes though when you find out you’ve been bopping it to a song that’s repeatedly calling someone’s mom a whore

Most Listened: Antti Tuisku, Apulanta, Evelina, Szakács Gergő, ByeAlex, Intim Torna Illegál, Leander Kills, Dubioza, KYO, Stromae - etc (Linkin Park is still an all-time favorite as far as American music goes)

I admit I’ve been obsessed with the hazbin hotel soundtrack lately

ok I won’t say no to the occasional k-pop or j-rock song (I used to be Obsessed lol)

that said I’ll listen to literally anything if it sounds good (nice beats make brain go brrr). only genre I actively dislike is post-9/11 country music

~Dislikes~

spiders (i’m sorry lil dudes ur rly cool y’all just irrationally scare me), making phone calls

[lavenderlambie]

Just out of curiosity, do you have any headcanons for Metal Sonic?

Oh we do indeed! We actually have other versions of Metal as well but for the sake of this post I'll stick to just regular normal ol Metal.

Our Metal goes by it/its alone, no they/them. So don't try thinking you can replace the 1st with the 2nd. Metal is agender and genderqueer as well. Alongside cupioromantic [aro-spec] & graysexual. Metal also prefers to just be called Metal!

Metal in our headcanon separates itself from Sonic as well, it'll still be bit of ass to Sonic basically like that younger sibling that'll annoy you for life. Which it takes that role with pride. It'll gladly annoy Sonic.

Metal is as well interested in an organic body instead of its robotic body. Though has not brought it up to Eggman yet due to not knowing how exactly to ward its wants.

Metal as well has a speaker on its chest! Like one of those circles ones that you may see on a lot of FNaF ocs. It often speaks through its speaker though on loss of speech days it'll usually just write or type something on its aac device to communicate instead. It's still learning ASL which once learns will use it as a way to communicate as well. Though the speaker isn't used just for speaking! Metal often times play soft music from it, most often that being soft lullabies and music boxes. On some occasions you may find it banging its head to rock and metal.

It as well enjoy collecting things it finds whenever out and bout. Such as rocks, crystals, and whenever it heads to stores with others expect it trying to convince you to buy all the stickers, plushies, and stim toys it wants. It wants to be spoiled with items.

I as well headcanon it being an age regressor!

Metal since it was heavily referenced to Sonic may or may not have that cool autistic swag. It does indeed.

That's most of my headcanons of Metal so I hope you enjoy hearing the headcanons! /pos

[c03xistentw01]

I'm losing my mind cuz yall get f***ing crazy when it's summer

neemol? I'd like to ask how it is that you are self-satisfied that you can have the ethical audacity of even thinking that the whole world should be up for giving you 24hr service??? "explain the concepts of the course" :)))))))) wtf even idk how to explain my surprise. do you think i'm what omg I'm so angry and actually getting mad later when i get u to face the reality of how we are all equal in this life so nobody is actually higher than other people and this means that first of all your shit is your shit and second of all there is not a single known reason for why your priorities should appear as more important than mine. Welcome to the world sweetheat this is how it works. hope u get used to it

that piece of shit 1/3 of a flatmate that i have dude do u think im stupid why are obssessed with closing everything i open and opening everything that i close and banging things when u know im concentrating while FULLY KNOWING that you are being a dick and aactully enjoying it one day i'm gonna f***king kill you and that will be a pretty dark day in my life.

for the other 2/3 piece of a shit of a flatmate that i have: dude are u actually autistic or you're just some other kind of a dickhead? I really hope it's 1 so i wont have to deal with your ass as well.

ferdos?? dude I stayed at home today because of u because u asked me to see u and i thought the act of eating together is actually a thing and i was worth a little bit of waiting i suppose?? and not telling me that we would have to eat with those self-centered-miserable dicks? I mean....I'm disappointed but also surprised which is the worst combination.

berfin? what was with "whay yoo always doo dees? 1) what? 2) what always 3) if its always AND annoyinh why u didnt tell me earlier 4) i think hilal is a sensible 26 year old right? so me reminding BOTH of you that it's not a good idea to walk home in the sun at 2 fucking pm in fucking june, that was like sinister? damn the world has changed dramatically compared to when i last saw it as meaningful and actually understanable.

update: after this hurricane of a day i had, apparently i was being prepared for a bigger shit at home from the 3/3 piece of a shit of flatmate: "I want you tomorrow to clean the BlAcK MoLd in the dishwashing vase". excuse me are you my mom???????

"what did you do this week?" I cleaned the fucking floor 2 times

"aHaw"

bitch after all this time still thinks I'm a liar. I'm sorry for her. This will never get fixed. She will never get fixed.

update: to be honest, after these hours I'm still not able to process her audacity. But the thing is: she is sick and needs psychological help asap and i feel so sorry for her that i can't even take it personally. Like dude, she is not a normal functioning human being with a healthy and matured attitude. Don't break a sweat. She does not change. you did the best thing after all this time not trusting her. I knew all along i was doing the right then the entire time, damn i think i trust my instincts.

the more i think about it the more i can't get my head around it. was the bitch actually giving me punishments for thinking that i lied to her ass :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) omg I'm dead.

[kyrii]

idk if anyone will see this. I hope someone does. Normally this is something you'd vent to a friend about. But I currently don't have friends that I feel would both understand and have the spoons to handle me venting. So I'm gonna tag some helpfully helpful tags and hope. If nothing else, yelling into the void sometimes helps by itself.

I recently discovered that I'm autistic. I'll be 28 in September-- I'm a grown ass adult and only just now discovered a major part of who I am, and that shifts a lot in how I view myself. In a way, it's comforting and validating because I feel like I have somewhat of an answer for why I am the way I've been my entire life. It's also incredibly isolating.

I took a trip this weekend to have a girls' weekend with my old high school friends. I've known these women since freshman year of high school-- 14 years this year. I love them dearly, and I know they love me too. That's not in doubt. But my interactions with them have made me realize just now incredibly out of place I feel. I've felt both happy to see them and hang out and also terribly awkward-- quiet, slow on the uptake, socially awkward, not fun to be around... acting like these are people I've just met instead of people that I've known for over half my life.

At first, I thought I was just acting and feeling that way because I haven't seen them in a while and I don't have any in-person friends back where I live. I haven't made a single in-person friend since graduation, actually. So yeah, perhaps it's fair to say that my social interaction skills are very rusty. So maybe if I just gave it time, I'd open up this weekend and things would feel how they should.

But they never did.

Don't get me wrong, I've had a great time. I have genuinely enjoyed spending time with my old friends-- and the new ones I've made this weekend as well. But the whole time, I've felt like a background character. On the outside looking in. The friend that invited me and our two other old high school friends also invited two friends she's made in the last year and has grown close to. I love these new people, and I'm glad my friend has them in her life. But I also feel that my presence has a tendency to shrink as the group number increases.

We went to a small Pride walk today-- the first one I've ever gone to. At first, I was really excited-- I've always wanted to go to a Pride event but never felt empowered enough to do so. But as we were getting ready to go, that feeling of "you don't belong here" kept creeping in. I'm Demi-Bi myself, so I know there's a space for me, though I do worry that some people might not consider graysexuals part of the collective. But I'm also not big and loud, I don't know how to do any kind of makeup let alone the kind I saw everyone else wearing. Suffice it to say that I felt very out of place.

I don't know how to phrase all this without whining. I hope it doesn't sound like I'm whining. I've just come to the realization that this feeling is not new. I've felt this way my entire life. Even with my closest friends, these women. I've always felt like I don't belong. Like why are they friends with me? I honestly don't make sense with the rest of them. I know they'd argue up and down how I'm wrong and list probably perfectly valid and logical reasons as to why I do belong. And I'd be grateful. But I don't feel like I belong. I never have. I feel like everywhere I go, I'm an outsider looking in. And honestly (here come the reason for the TW in the tags), I've had so many thoughts today about how much I don't want to live anymore if the rest of my life is going to be me feeling out of place for the rest of my days. I know these thoughts are passive and they will pass. But right now, I really just want to disappear. If not die, I want to at least disappear into the wilderness where I won't have the opportunity to interact with another human soul. If there's no window to look through, I won't feel like I'm on the outside of it.

Idk how to end all this. Honestly, it's late and these are really big feelings that I don't know how to process or what to do. It feels hopeless right now, like I'll always feel this way. Though I know that logic tells me otherwise, that doesn't help. I don't know how to change or what to do. I don't know how to face the rest of my life with this knowledge that this is how I've always been. It is a natural way of being for me. Do I need to somehow fundamentally change that? Is it possible? And if not, what then? I face utter loneliness for the rest of my life. I'm forced to sit at a metaphorical dinner table where everyone but me gets to eat and enjoy conversation. And I'm just choking down my water.

[mothman-clarice]

Happy kwanukkyulemas yall! Personally I celebrate Yule so blessed be to my fellow pagans but of course I wish the best to everyone this season. Over the time I was away i rewatched Miss peregrine's home for peculiar children and I kinda became obsessed. Naturally my autistic ass brain cant enjoy things normally so I made a crossover au with hannibal cus I guess making extremely specific self indulgent aus is my thing now.

Mind you I might merge this into my mothman au but for now I'm just gonna keep them separate.

Miss peregrine's crossover au

So first if you know nothing about the miss peregrine's series it's about a universe where there are some people who are "peculiars", people born with certain unnatural or even supernatural abilities. This can be anything from being a shapeshifter to manipulating time itself to anything you can think of.

There are certain specific types of peculiar that are universal, one of the major ones are called ymbrenes (pronounced "yim-breen" or "im-breen"). They're people (usually women) who can morph into a bird and manipulate time. Also I'm pretty sure they're immortal but I might be misremembering that.

Now that I'm done explaining that let's get to the au.

So one thing about ymbrenes is that their last name is always the name of the bird they are which I thought fits clarice PERFECTLY. Her name is literally Starling, how could I not make her an ymbrene?!!

As for hannibal I obviously wanna make him peculiar too so I thought I would make him a sorta cat shapeshifter (yes I'm aware I seem to have a thing for shapeshifters lol).

He can morph into a feline (I havent decided which one yet) but his human form also has sharp fangs, cat eyes that glow yellow (and give him night vision of course), retractable claws in his fingertips, and more body hair than normal.

I might add onto this later but for the most part his human form does look human, I couldnt bring myself to make him a khajiit lol (although he might be able to morph into a form like that 👀)

As for what clarice looks like, ymbrenes tend to have their appearance relate to the bird they are so I went with foster's clarice for this au since she has darker hair. I will still change her appearance slightly just cus it's fun lol.

Her hair starts looking almost black towards her roots but slowly turns to a deep brown towards her tips. She has very subtle blonde highlights speckled across her hair to replicate the white spots on starlings.

I decided to keep jodie's iconic piercing blue eyes just cus it would be a sin to replace those gems

Even in human form ymbrenes can make bird noises and have some of their respective birds tendencies which I absolutely gave to clarice.

Starlings are famous for their shocking ability to replicate any sound they hear to a nearly perfect degree, even human voices. Naturally I gave clarice the ability to do this in human form as well, but given she would have human vocal organs she can eliminate any imperfections a normal starling's human impression would have.

That's all I have the energy to write for now, I'm absolutely digging this au and I'm sure I'll post more about it soon. Hope yall like it!

[soranis-sunshadow]

Did he treat her like a person?

More than anyone else.

Her stimming and lack of "normal social graces" never irritated him. To him, everything she did was normal - Her normal.

He never displays irritation, not even in S1 (or S2 before the hexdriver incident), before their friendship is established, only respect for her expertise and competence.

Even the times Hordak does shout at her, it's not because of her "quirks" nor because of her autistic behavior.)

The first time, it was because she intruded upon his "sanctum". He shouted at everyone that barged in and disturbed him in his "room".

The second time, it was because she fought with him not to send Catra to Beast Island. (which is ironically, exactly where Catra sent her). Hordak huffed and he pouted but he eventually listened to her and did as she asked.

He yelled at her to get out after the experiment with the portal failed and he had to protect her from the explosion with his own sickly body, damaging his prosthetic armor. (he was in pain and his nerves were short. I know it wasn't right but controlling one's temper is harder when one is in pain. It was his own pain and fear of showing weakness that made him snap at her to get out of the lab, not anything she did or was.

Another time he yelled was when he displayed weakness in front of an enemy (Adora) after he got electrocuted by his armor. Again, pain and fear of showing weakness. The anger was misdirected at Entrapta. (as @cruelfeline pointed out).

I am not excusing his inability to control his temper, I am explaining the motivations behind each incident of him "being in a tizzy" as Entrapta called it.

As you can see, every time this happened, it was never her being a "weirdo" that caused it but rather, Hordak's inability to control the emotions he shouldn't have and was never taught to process and deal with in a healthy way. (Little brothers shouldn't have emotions, it's why he got dipped in the Purity Mt Dew Pool...)

Every other time we see them together in the show, they seem to be enjoying each other's presence.

Lets contrast that to the way Entrapta's other friends react to her:

The Princesses however manifested a certain degree of tolerance of her "quirks", not acceptance - And this is BEFORE she "Betrays" them.

The show says the princesses are Entrapta’s friends but doesn’t really portray it that way:

This is why they wanted Entrapta to join the alliance:

Not because they care about her or want to be friends with her. It is merely transactional. Glimmer and Adora saved her ass so she repays them by building weapons for them. That’s it, that’s the extent of her motivation for joining the alliance. She doesn’t care about the Horde Threat because The Horde has never attacked Dryl (it’s why it’s so hard to convince Frosta too, The Horde never attacked her kingdom either- S1 smart Frosta had no stakes in the war)

This is how Entrapta’s  “friends” hung out with her before she got left in the Fright Zone:

(Hint- “that”  is referring to Entrapta)

Behold: the only “friend” she made at this social gathering  - because the princesses were not really interested in hanging out with a weird 30yo woman and had their own things going on.

Ghasp! that doesn’t look like a princess…  (and was doing this to mess with Adora but I digress)

The last episode she’s with the alliance: No princess left behind (except the weird one)

Perfuma being exasperated by Entrapta “being difficult” I can feel the camaraderie already!

My favorite joke, leashing a 30yo autistic woman, how funny >.>   /s

you can really feel the friendship established here right? They are totally close bffs! /s Love is in the aaairr!

Btw, what she was actually doing was not endangering the mission, on the contrary:

How come they didn’t ask local menace Sea Hawk where HE’s been. Nope! Only 'weirdo' Entrapta is the problem….

Here some more “friendship”!

Clearly the show has established by now how she is the group darling and their bestie. She is a trusted member of the group and these young women all seek her sage council /s

Her doing all of the above is seen in a negative light by he princesses despite her actions actually benefiting the operation and they would have benefitted the alliance had she not gotten stuck in the Frightzone.

I don't know whether this contrast between how she's treated by both factions was intentional from the series writers or not but it was jarring to me how her "friends" never tried to understand her or the reasoning behind her actions. I may be biased since I'm autistic myself and the way she is treated by her princess friends unfortunately reminds me how some of my old 'friends' used to treat me. It's a realistic depiction, even if it's not exactly an ideal and happy one.

I'd address how Catra reacts to her too (because Entrapta saw her and Scorpia as friends) but Tumblr doesn't let me add more pictures.

[tenebriscollective]

A Response

First, before we do this, we’re going to take the liberty of posting your entire response to our review that we left. However, I do hope you are aware that we could absolutely tell that you didn’t bother reading through the whole thing. As a lot of what you say in this response is already denied in the review you were responding to. For the sake of those who don’t like long posts, however, we will be putting everything beyond this point under a read more.

The link to the site, so that you can read our original review: https://disboard.org/server/213915266554396672

This is The Megane System’s response, in full. Which we will be taking parts of to go through for our response piece by piece. One can’t say we cut context when we provide the full response and the link back to the server page to show the original review, hm?

The response: 

Posting words here instead of talking to me directly like an adult is why I'm not the dangerous one. Really don't care or want anything to do with any of you who value publicly airing dirty laundry as opposed to just talking to me so you can feed your ego feeling like a 'good person'. Sprinkling it with words that sound like understanding mean nothing when you shut down normal communication methods. This kind of cancel culture is emotionally manipulative, predatory and has endangered lives. Life isn't clean and squeaky, neither are you and neither am I. If you can't get your head out your ass long enough to realise this then enjoy your delusions of purity but I assure you everyone you have ever met and ever will meet has had dark thoughts of violence, disturbing imagery and vile emotions. It's part of life, denying that is denying life. I've never 'defended someone sexualising a little alter in the server' and I'm still baffled where the hell that came from?? Everything else was scraped out of personal DMs and my personal spaces I used to manage my BPD away from public spaces and only where people I thought I could trust could see (obviously I couldn't lol) but that I have zero recollection of I think you guys are just having fun giving me horns and trying to deny me any consideration of changing or improving. Because that's what this thinking does. It labels people permanently as 'BAD PEOPLE', and they can't ever grow beyond that. It makes their lives feel worthless, and they themselves beyond saving, and so they end up repeating the same mistakes, because no one expects anything more from them. I know this because I've always tried to break this in how I run my server. With the belief that anyone can become something better, that anyone who believes anything, holds any views can be helped to grow and function better among others. That's why I allow people with 'bad views' around me. That's why I talk to them, that's why I actually spend time treating people as people and not punching bags like you do. You do not help the problems in the world, you merely cement them, so I will never run my server how you want me to, because it is wrong and I won't cave to a bunch of bullies.

We are going to start off to state first addressing the very start of this. But put simply, Megane System (we will be referring to you collectively, since we have a system member who is also called Reiji, and don’t want people to get mixed up), we were never under any obligation to contact you directly. Framing it as if we’re the dangerous one because we didn’t do that is quite manipulative, and honestly quite ironic. Given you never gave us even a seconds moment to communicate before evicting us out of the server when we were still a staff member. We were trying to communicate, but were simply being ignored. The fact that you try now to weaponize this lack of communication as a method to somehow disprove and dismiss our review is honestly hilarious.

Really don't care or want anything to do with any of you who value publicly airing dirty laundry as opposed to just talking to me so you can feed your ego feeling like a 'good person'.

Airing dirty laundry implies that the accusations we outlined in that review weren’t the degree of seriousness that they were. This is honestly also the worst attempt at downplaying what we said we’ve ever seen, but it does show that you clearly didn’t read our review in its entirety, despite there being parts at the end specifically addressed to you and Alec.

Sprinkling it with words that sound like understanding mean nothing when you shut down normal communication methods. This kind of cancel culture is emotionally manipulative, predatory and has endangered lives.

Again, we were under no obligation to use normal communication methods, especially when normal communication methods in the staff room were completely shut down while you maligned everyone in the staff because we didn’t like that you had returned so suddenly and without warning, and knew that the sudden return would not mean good things for those you hurt, who were, at the time, on the server. And honestly, I think it’s emotionally manipulative that you continuously deflected questions while we were in the server about your drama and tried to frame it as something incredibly small, inconsequential, and petty. 

Life isn't clean and squeaky, neither are you and neither am I.

We and anyone who has ever called you out never claimed to be. You made this assumption because we called out your behavior which crossed lines that should never have been crossed in the first place.

If you can't get your head out your ass long enough to realise this then enjoy your delusions of purity but I assure you everyone you have ever met and ever will meet has had dark thoughts of violence, disturbing imagery and vile emotions. It's part of life, denying that is denying life.

We are well aware and do not have our head in our ass. But I have never met anyone but you and other awful people who would not only have, but vocalize in detail those thoughts to other people, whether those people were the target of those thoughts or not. I’ve met plenty who write journals irl to get it out, who draw to get it out, or write whump and angst fanfics in order to vent it out in a manner that doesn’t emotionally hurt anyone or suddenly shove those thoughts onto individuals who may not be mentally or emotionally prepared to hear it, even if they have them too or have similarly aligned ones. Again, there was no context that you could ever assign to the screenshot being talked about in this part that would make what you said in anyway ever acceptable, even to those who have intrusive or dark thoughts of violence, disturbing imagery, or vile emotions.

I've never 'defended someone sexualising a little alter in the server' and I'm still baffled where the hell that came from??

We have screenshots and logs that prove the opposite, and I’m sure the person we received them from would not be all that fussed if we asked for them a second time and gave them to either of the blogs that currently have callouts circulating about you. Because you did do this, you may not have recollection of it, but the non-little alters of that system and the one who tried to step in and were stopped by you certainly do.

Everything else was scraped out of personal DMs and my personal spaces I used to manage my BPD away from public spaces and only where people I thought I could trust could see (obviously I couldn't lol) but that I have zero recollection of

And as we stated in our original review, your BPD, your (suspected, but not formally diagnosed) autism, or any other mental illness diagnoses or disorder you may have does not absolve you of the fact that many of the things you did were not okay. Your continued use of “but I have [x mental illness/disability] and was managing it” or “it was personal” will not change our minds on that. We are formally and professionally diagnosed as Autistic, we know  you have attempted to excuse your behavior before by saying you might be autistic yourself. Thereby you were attempting to excuse your shitty behavior with being possibly autistic, and excuse your shitty behavior because you have BPD does not fly. Many of the people with callouts against you or who don’t like you either know someone with, or also have BPD/Autism or whatever other mental illness or disability you’re going to try excusing it with next time.

I think you guys are just having fun giving me horns and trying to deny me any consideration of changing or improving.

Another sign you did not fully read our review, or just plain didn’t believe us due to your own assumptions. As we state in the last part that is specifically addressed to you that we hope you are able to change and improve, that you are able to recognize what you did hurt people and was wrong, and that you rectify and show through your actions that you do that. But downplaying all of this as you are as just drama, or just a facet of “cancel culture”, or whatever other thing that makes it sound less significant does not prove that. And so, as of right now, as we respond to this and surely as you continue with your server and trying to twist things to fit your narrative, you have not shown that you have changed or improved.

Because that's what this thinking does. It labels people permanently as 'BAD PEOPLE', and they can't ever grow beyond that. It makes their lives feel worthless, and they themselves beyond saving, and so they end up repeating the same mistakes, because no one expects anything more from them. I know this because I've always tried to break this in how I run my server. With the belief that anyone can become something better, that anyone who believes anything, holds any views can be helped to grow and function better among others. That's why I allow people with 'bad views' around me. That's why I talk to them, that's why I actually spend time treating people as people and not punching bags like you do.

We don’t treat people like punching bags, no matter their views. We treat people as people, even if we disagree, but if those people do not treat us as people in return, it’s harder to feel empathy when they have consequences slap them in the face. I know you’re referring to our rewritten rules here, and I’m sure you’ve trashed them to make your own again, and stopped cracking down so hard on all the usage of slurs in the server once again. And if cracking down on that and keeping to our word about not allowing those on the server is what you see as treating people not as people, then I don’t know what to tell you. Slurs come inherently from bigotry, no amount of “opposing views” erases that those words come from that. Let alone that there are some views that are simply bigotry dressed up in a political hat.

We did talk to those people, we had debates, and we stepped in when people were getting too heated between each other to be considered a debate. Anyone can become better and improve, anyone can make a change to do so. But you can only do that if you put in the effort, and so far, you haven’t done that. You’re all talk, but you haven’t actually walked the walk.

You do not help the problems in the world, you merely cement them, so I will never run my server how you want me to, because it is wrong and I won't cave to a bunch of bullies.

You mean how we want you to run the server in a way that makes sure it’s not a place that lacks solace and allows bigotry to fester under the guise of different views? Or how we want you to make sure that any system littles currently in that server, if they haven’t left already, are protected so that they aren’t sexualized and that you don’t defend the people sexualizing those littles? Because from how we see it, none of those things particularly make us “bullies” like you claim, they just make us considered a decent person who has proper boundaries on what they will and won’t allow, and someone who’s willing to actually enforce them so that members don’t feel uncomfortable or unsafe.

Anyway, as before, we doubt you’ll read all of this, but if you do, here’s a big notice, right in big big italicized letters:

We won’t be responding again, flail all you want, make a fuss, throw a tantrum that we aren’t going to give you the time of day. Because we honestly don’t care. Because we don’t and never have owed you any of our time.

[the-writers-bookshelf]

It's Friday and thankfully I remembered before bed.

My wip is unconventional in that the "plot" is just character development. That's all I care about with books and it was all I wanted to write. Brief TW for those who decide to read: this wip deals with a lot of mental health issues, bigotry, and talks about sex and asexuality (there's a more graphic *warning that applies which I will tag before said character's paragraph). While I won't be going into detail I feel y'all deserve to be warned.

The story features three main characters:

Alvere Duval, an autistic gay ace man of colour who was stuck with crappy parents until he hit 19, at which point he ran away with his best friend to bunk with his boyfriend. Alvere's main arch (to put it very simply) is about him learning to love and accept himself despite all the horrific shit his parents and peers said about him. He deals with self-hatred, internalized ableism, homophobia, and acephobia, pretty nasty C-PTSD and anxiety, I could go on but we'd be here all day (this poor man). His secondary arch revolves around his desire to build a shelter for LGBTA+ youths who are homeless or stuck with crappy parents like he was. My favorite thing about writing for him is the confrontation scene he has with his mother near the end of the book. In many ways he was close to her and loved her to death, but his best friend and boyfriend could see how casually dismissive she was towards his ability to form his own opinions and knew she was complacent in the horrible way his father treated him. Part of him knows that too, but he's terrified of losing the idealized version of her he has in his head bc it's one of the only good memories from his childhood. Yes I cry every time I think about it and love projecting onto my own characters why do you ask?

Next up is Jack Felicity, a mute non-binary aroace indigenous person, and Alvere's best friend. Their main arch is about them processing the damage theirs and Alvere's early friendship did to them, as it was extremely co-dependent and drained them of any and all personality they once had. Add ADHD and depression to that mix, and about half way through the book they realize they literally have no idea who they are outside of "Alvere's Friend" and have to rebuild themself with the support of their mom, their new friends, and Alvere himself now that they've started working through their dependency issues. Their secondary arch revolves around them learning that sometimes second chances are worth the risk of betrayal, and that losing a friend is hard but it's not the end of the world, and it doesn't mean they failed. My favorite scene I've written with them is when they reconcile with their mom who, while not nearly as bad as Al's, still made some mistakes in the past. I love it bc she acknowledges that she was wrong and apologizes to Jack for being insensitive in regards to their depression. If only more parents did that.

Lastly we have Carlo, a bi gnc trans man, and Alvere's boyfriend. (*TW for mentioned substance abuse, underage sex work & grooming. "Easy to digest" I said. "For fun" I said. I'll italicize the sentences so you can skip em). Carlo's main arch revolves around him learning to respect people with different boundaries. He was exploited and groomed into sex work at the age of 16 and though he's since escaped his abusers, he never got to process his trauma authentically before he and Al got together. Whereas Carlo's a touchy guy and doesn't really have a concept of personal space (since he wasn't allowed to if he wanted to have enough money to eat), he doesn't really get Al's touch aversion or Jack's trust issues and ends up making an ass of himself on multiple occasions. He always does his best to make up for it though, since he knows damn well how awful it feels to have one's boundaries invaded like that, and knows that just because he doesn't understand them doesn't mean they aren't valid. His secondary arch is about his reliance on substances (cigarettes and alcohol) to numb the pain of his past. With the help of his loved ones and a slap in the face courtesy of his own inebriated behavior, he starts taking steps to recover. My favorite thing about writing for him is how he reacts to Al's asexuality. Despite being hypersexual in the beginning (bc trauma) and still enjoying it as the book goes on, he's very supportive of Al and makes several points of letting him know he never has to give him anything he's not ready for, which culminates in one long chapter of Al getting the mushy gushy date he deserves bc fuck acephobes.

This project started off as individual vignettes to get me back into writing and evolved into a slice of life story about these three growing up and falling in love (platonically and romantically) with each other. There's a lot more to it that I didn't cover bc I don't wanna give everything away, but I have like no one to talk to about this and my first draft is almost done and I'm excited so. I hope you enjoyed my ramblings.

Hi lovely! Your WIP is AMAZING and I love it!! I decided to copy/paste it into a post (and tagged you in it!) so I could put the more sensitive topics under a cut. But PLEASE don't feel like I'm sensoring you because that is not my intention at all! It's just a precaution ♥

Your work is REALLY important! Especially when it comes to asexuality! I'm on the ace spectrum myself and there is absolutely a HUGE need for writing like yours in this world, spreading awareness and making it NORMAL! Thank you so much for your wonderful writing! :)

[orowyrm]

I dont wanna join the ovw discord youve made and I have no intent on giving blizz any money so i cannot play ovw with you BUT im a lil curious and I care abt u bc ur my friend so...... what r some of ur sigma hcs. Tell me what you think abt the funny video game man

oh god rev this ask got drowned in my notifs and im legit so mad because i would LOVE to share some hcs actually thank you so much for enabling me

- [gestures to my pinned post] he is autistic nonbinary and bisexual because i am also autistic nonbinary and bisexual so i make the fucking rules

- he floats everywhere mostly because his back always hurts. like hes capable of walking if he HAS TO but he WILL complain about it at every opportunity

- ive posted about this a bit this morningish but i do genuinely believe that he's not 'being manipulated' into joining talon and they arent 'taking advantage of his fragile state of mind' or whatever the fuck i do wholeheartedly believe he's fully aware of what hes doing and just straight up does not care. he's absolutely fed up with everything and has decided he wants violence. not because hes insaaane and crazayyayay or w/e he's just really pissed off after being forcefully institutionalized for god knows how long. i wanna reiterate i have not watched his lore video or whatever it is cuz from what i know about his story i feel it might Hashtag Trigger me lol but i have no respect for blizzards storytelling anyway so who cares

- he seems like a cat person to me

- we know he's a big classical music kinda guy. i think he'd enjoy holst's planets suite

- i HATE it when people are like omg hes baby hes so baby this grown man is an infant uwuwuwu but also like. i think hes just a nice person, like at the center of it all. hes just some guy but like in the best way. he's capable of like complete and utter destruction but he mostly minds his own goddamn business and will use his powers for like silly little mundane things like 99% of the time just because it's fun. it's like almost offputting at first because its like 'WHAT is this genuinely nice and relatively normal seeming dude doing here' but make no mistake he knows exactly what hes doing here

- he probably leans into the 'omg this guy is crazy hes unstable he has no idea whats even going on' thing, mainly cuz in his eyes if people underestimate him as being manipulated and think they can talk him out of it or try wasting time reasoning with him that'll give him the upper hand, but also in general he just really wants to be left alone. he can't be assed to clarify he is tired of explaining himself just believe whatever you want at this point

- i think he would honestly get along with the rest of the talon heroes surprisingly well just by nature of being so goddamn friendly they can't help it. what are they gonna do, get mad? he's literally just some guy. he's the type to like check with everyone if they want anything if he's about to order food just because it's rude to NOT ask, he's the 'i heard you say something about needing one of these and remembered i had one i don't use anymore, here you can have it' kinda guy, it's one of those things where you have to actively look for reasons to dislike him. i think he should get to have friends i think its what he deserves

- moira uses him to reach high shelves, not by asking him to grab things for them like a normal human being, but by literally just climbing on top of his shoulders and using him as leverage to reach whatever it is they need because they're stubborn as all hell

i cant think of anythign else but this post is already long enough and im still like fresh off my shift so my brain is goo tonight. thank you for coming to my tedtalk

[rowanthestrange]

Have you seen the new episode yet?

Yes!

I feel sorry for Chibs as it’s certainly not a bad episode all things considered, but has the problem of pretty much everything not quite hitting given everything in the interim. He has my sympathy. I imagine there has been a lot of loud swearing and staring at the ceiling in his household.

At the very least, I’m always a sucker for a new Dalek. And his strategy of getting around the Terry Nation Estate’s ‘use them every series or lose them’ rules about the Daleks by having them always at New Years but also forming a distinct but easily followable narrative between those episodes is something after my own heart. A very smart way of doing things.

And Ryan got a good long scene with the Doctor! Look, I take what I’m given.

No idea what John Bishop’ll do or be like or anything, but I was down on Bradley Walsh to begin with and Graham ended up my lovely eldest son, so I’m not judging a thing until I see it. And finish the whole series of it.

Gonna be real though, I thought if there was any new companion, we were getting the girl in Osaka who looked up at the spaceship...

What else might you want from me...hmm... oh meta.

‘The alien thing connecting into computers to control stuff’. Cyberium/Mastery. Along with the ‘how long has this been happening for’ thing in a soft way. Just running themes. I think it was an...interesting choice to have the mutants lose rather than win, which is sort of counter to what we’ll call ‘real world meta’, and therefore could potentially play into a theme where the Time Lords are the mutants who lose, etc. etc.

Ignorable, more personal, ‘Where the HELL have you been?!’  section, a question I don’t really answer, as you all should know I’m a Snufkin by now:

Because the special is so unfitting with our own 2020 in some respects (not the police stuff - that’s evergreen), it’s had the opposing effect I expected on a casual WIP I’ve been playing around with most of the year, where I actually feel like I may carry on looking at it, rather than it ending up in the ‘why bother’ pile I’d put it in. And he brushed against enough of my work that I think some people might actually still feel it worthwhile even if not canon. I can certainly slot some bits in pretty perfectly. 

No promises though. Writing requires a certain section of my brain to play ball which happens now and again at the moment, but the much rarer ability is where I can take a long thing and put it together with ma brain damage affecting my memory of the sections I’m supposed to order. (I often wish I had some sort of free Patreon-like system where interested parties could read through the probably hundreds of thousands of words of partial work I’ve accumulated and put aside for various reasons. Might genuinely hire an editor one day tbh cus there’s so much 90% done work that y’all could be enjoying.)

In my time away - which will continue by the way, sorry - I came up with what I think may be the answer to where we’re going-slash-have-gone with the Timeless Children/baby Doctor and Master/Cyberman/Frankenstein stuff. Or AN answer at any rate. But I only came to it when I was having an urge to write something completely non-canon for the hell of it following a Star Wars YouTube Documentary, but it does actually sort of work. I’ll explain it in fanfic form or else won’t explain it at all, because if I’m right it would be a waste not to do it in story form - either Chibs’s or mine.

And if you really are interested in my life stuff, EDS and Dysautonomia kicking my ass including my sight and hearing, and because I tend to get long chest infections with side effects that stick around for years (or forever), I’m just permanently indoors all the time. I don’t actually mind it. I’m that sort of autistic. I’ve got my partner and that’s all good and dandy. IT work was mostly remote anyway. I made a mask with dragons on it for going to blood tests etc. and was continuously appalled by the UK not giving a single shit about mask wearing until the ‘law’ and they still just take it off the second they leave the shops anyway so... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  I get to live inside for the foreseeable future. Especially if Johnson’s yahoo approach to making a half functioning vaccination cocktail ends up selecting for a Super Covid. But I got Crafts now man. It’s like my getting religion only I feel less guilt for screwing up. One day I’ll be back and you will see all the ridiculous stuff I’ve made. Like my Twelve and Bill cosplays (with hand embroidered patches on Bill’s jacket) for a pair of bears. But alas, that’s not today. Hope everyone is ok. And not changing their usernames without telling me. My lack of my reaching out is not a lack of caring. I just need a lot of spoons to carry conversation in any sense, and unfortunately I’m having to take more responsibility in my political garbage because everyone else is sodding off, and all that has me in a massive spoon deficit.

Eat good. Take vitamin tablets, D especially. Do exercise, even indoors for 10 minutes, and when you don’t want to. Make something every week, even if it’s just for you to see. And love, like, or at least tolerate yourself; don’t hate yourself, cus all this shit should have shown you by now there are waaaay more hateable people out there, droves of ‘em, and you don’t even rank, my friend.

(I’m still in my chrysalis of hibernation and am currently in a liquid state. I will emerge to interact fully with the world again, when I have coagulated into my moth form. This is a normal process, do not be concerned. Things sent to my inbox send emails that should reach my oozy form. Or may not. That’s tungl for you.)

[dialga-jobean]

Giorno and stimming! <3

I just wanted to make a post about the different stims Giorno has and how the gang might feel about it ^^ these are just headcanons so please don't be mad or anything <3

Also btw I've mentioned this before I think but after Giorno gets more comfortable in the gang he feels more comfortable showing his more visibly autistic traits such as his stims ^^ anyways, enjoy!

Stims

When Giorno gets really happy he tends to flap his hands alot. Sometimes if it's something really exciting he'll clap his hands or even start hopping up and down.

He also tends to chew alot if he's happy, like straws or pencils but he does have a few chew stim toys he likes to use. He doesn't chew in front of the others because normally chewing is seen as a bad thing but he does tend to chew his straws when he's eating out some place.

He doesn't normally like to repeat words, as a child whenever he'd repeat things he was called annoying. Sometimes he does find himself repeating things but he tends to stop himself out of instinct.

He stims alot when someone allows him to info dump.

He has alot of froggy stim toys he uses!

When Giorno's really mad he starts to pace around his room and he might punch something with gold experience. He tries to combat this with just using a stress ball though as he doesn't want to accidentally hurt someone

Giorno also starts to mutter "muda" alot when he's mad. Like under his breath beucase he really wants to just punch something but repeating "muda" helps him calm down a bit.

When confused Giorno does that thing Dio does where he rotates his pointer finger on the side of his head, it doesn't hurt of course cuz he's just doing it out of confusing, also of course he doesn't bleed like dio.

When Giorno is sad or uncomfortable he tends to mess with his hands and also mess with his braid alot, like just trying to comfort himself somehow.

"Muda" is his stim word

When Giorno is just watching tv or listening to something he tends to just rock back in forth.

Sometimes hearing a song from his childhood or song in Japanese makes Giorno flap his hands alot.

He can't deal with alot of yelling, it messes with his senses and drives him crazy so he stims alot when he's feeling he's about to have a meltdown.

When he does have a meltdown his body just crumbles and he sits on the floor rocking and forth moving his hands about, Giorno does have really violent meltdowns sometimes but Bruno always comforts him afterwards.

How the gang reacts to it

Bruno

Bruno finds Giorno's stims to be endearing and helps him understand how Giorno might be feeling since Giorno doesn't tell people how he feels much.

Bruno one of the only ones who takes Giorno's little hints when he's talking about it (cuz he hints towards his autism he doesn't say it put right) so Bruno does some research and he tends to notice when Giorno stims more.

He's really kind about it too, he never shames Giorno for it or points it out since he knows for Giorno it's completely natural so he's super kind about it.

He stops Abbacchio when he's being rude to Gio about it.

When ever Giorno has a meltdown he just tries his best to make him feel comfortable afterwards since he tries to just give him his space when he's having it. He makes him chocolate pudding and they watch movies together!

Abbacchio

Abbacchio is an ass about it though, he notices it rather quickly. He doesn't comment on Giorno's stims often it's more like he'll just call Giorno "weird"

When he does comment on his stimming it's mostly in a rude way like, if Giorno starts hopping he'll say something like "geez you move more than Narancia, ugh."

Sometimes he just straight up makes Giorno stop, like if he's rocking back and forth he'll tell him to just stop just cuz he finds Gio annoying

One day Abbacchio is being particularly rude that day and he makes a really fucking rude comment on it that just makes Giorno feel awful, he doesn't show it but everyone can tell it bothered him. Bruno probably has a long talk with Abbacchio after that and explains why Giorno does certain things and Abbacchio feels so bad for it.

He makes it up to him by taking him to go see the frogs and letting Giorno tell him everything about them. They also get some food:)

Mista

Mista's chill.

He actually doesn't notice at first but when he does he brings it up but not in a rude way.

He'll be like "oi Gio have you ever noticed you clap your hands when your happy? I like that about you" and then he just gives the biggest smile ever.

Or when Giorno's feeling uncomfy or upset about something he'll say "You're messing with your hands again, what's wrong dude?"

Mista probably buys Giorno stim toys along with Trish and Narancia!

He's probably the one to give Giorno certain comfort items and loves giving Giorno comfort hugs and long talks.

Narancia

THE BIGGEST SWEETHEART!!

He's just,,,so kind,,,,

Sometimes he mimics Gios stims as a sorta bonding thing? Like if Giorno starts flapping his hands so will Narancia.

He loves seeing Giorno be happy stim! It just makes him feel at home.

At first Giorno thinks the mimicking is being done to make fun of him but quickly he realizes that it's just a friendly thing and Narancia just wants to bond with Giorno in anyway.

Loves to buy Giorno stim toys and stuffed animals! He always tries to get the frog ones for Giorno!

Narancia does point out his stims sometimes but like Mista it's not in a rude way he'll just say something like "Giorno's happy!" :D

Narancia actually finds Giorno's stims to be fun :)

Fugo

Him and Bruno are the only one who get Giorno's hints although Fugo knew something was different about Giorno right away but he doesn't want to make any assumptions. When Giorno gave the hints though he knew immediately.

So since Fugo knows why Giorno stims he doesn't comment on them like at all.

He sees it as a completely normal thing (cuz it is) so he gives no reaction to it

He does like seeing Giorno be happy though since it's a rare sight.

Trish

She's not rude about it at first just, semi not too good with it

It's just in public she'll tell Giorno not to stim, not out of rudeness but just because she knows people will judge him.

After awhile she does stop saying that and basically goes "fuck what people think, do what makes you happy now!"

Loves shopping for stim toys with Mista and Narancia since it's a nice experience and they love making Giorno feel comfortable.

Anyways those were just my headcanons! I hope you enjoyed! <333

[minnnieminmin]

30 days of autism acceptance but i only choose the prompts i want to:

April 3rd: How do you feel about dating/romantic relationships? Have you dated in the past/are you currently in a relationship/do you eventually want one? Do you feel that your experience of autism/stereotypes around autism and relationships impacts this? 

-have never dated and don’t have any desire to. 

April 4th: Are there any topics regarding autism that you feel don’t get discussed enough?

-oof, a lot. the fact that allistics/NT’s still talk over us/treat us like children, advocate for the wrong autism charities because they couldn’t be assed to google an actual good one. the fact everyone thinks we’re either useless members of society or that we all have some super special talented that ‘’makes up’’ for our autism. i have lots more but i’ll keep it short.

April 7th: How are you with sarcasm and/or metaphors/figures of speech? Do you interpret things very literally?

-i’m actually very good at sarcasm. mostly because of NT’s who think i’m dumb so i retort with very sarcastic answers just to shove it in their faces. no i don’t take everything literally either

April 10th: How important is representation to you? Is the representation that is out there generally good or bad? What is your favorite piece of representation? What you like to see more of in autism representation? What would you like to see less of?

-it’s important but it’s not at the very top of my list tbh.

April 11th: What are your thoughts/feelings about masking (a term for when autistic people hide their autistic traits)? Do you mask? 

-i mask a lot. mostly because i’m scared of being seen as ‘’overly autistic’’ because of, ya you know, ableism.

April 12th: Is there anything you find hard to do because of being autistic? Is there anything that you find easy?

-hard: talking to strangers, change. easy: talking/having deep conversations, reading facial expressions/body language, using sarcasm

April 14th: What do you like about being autistic?

-having special interests/hyperfixations (NT’s will never understand lmao), being a lot more genuine, honest and nicer than the average NT.

April 15th: Do you work? If so, what is that like for you? Are you open about being autistic at work? Alternatively, how open are you about being autistic? Do you tell a lot of people? Or just a select few? How do people normally react when you tell them? If you don’t tell people, then why? 

-i don’t work and i’m embarrassed by it. 

April 16th: What did it feel like when you interacted with other autistic people for the first time? What does the autistic community mean to you? How important is it? 

-it’s great to have a place where you’re understood and you can vent about our struggles. the community really helped me accept myself in a lot of ways. shout out to y’all 

April 17th: How do you feel about terms like “special needs”?

-not a fan but if other ND’s like it then that’s fine 

April 18th: Talk about identity. Is being autistic an important part of your identity? What does being autistic mean to you? Which do you prefer: identity first or person first language and why? 

-i used to use person with autism but then i recently changed over to autistic person. i think of it in two ways. that A) it’s only a small piece of the whole pie that is me/my personality. and B) even saying that it still does color everything that i do. every choice i made is because i’m autistic. i literally can’t help that

 April 19th: Do you enjoy music, or do you find it overstimulating? If you do like music, what kind of music do you prefer?

-people who listen to music all the time honestly confuse me. i only actively listen to music when i really want to/crave it. sometimes i’ll fixation on the same song/same band for a week or more. i do get overwhelmed if i listen to music for too long though

April 20th: What are some things that allistic people do that you find confusing?

-everything lol.  

April 21st: Do you stim? If so, what are your favourite ways of stimming? What does stimming feel like for you? 

-hand flaps, cracking knuckles (i know it’s bad yeah yeah), vocal stims (just high pitched noises) bite the inside of my mouth, probably other minor ones that i’m forgetting

April 22nd: What are some things allistic people can do to better support/accommodate autistic people?

-just not be ableist pricks and talk over us all the time. abolish autismspeaks and other sites similar to it. not solely focus on autistic children but teenagers and especially adults too. stop having both very low or very high expectations of us, stop treating autistic adults like children, stop making us think that we’re a burden, stop using us to make yourselves look better.

April 25th: Do you experience executive dysfunction? If so, how often? What is it like for you? What do you wish neurotypicals understood about it?

-yes!!! i use the spoon theory thing. it’s very annoying to have tbh, especially when you want to do things that you actually enjoy but can’t do. NT’s need to understand that’s not being lazy it’s being mentally and physically unable to do certain things. 

April 27th: What is your favourite form of media? For example, do you enjoy books? What format do you prefer for books (physical, e-book, audiobook)? Did you love reading as a kid but find it challenging as you got older? How about movies, tv, or video games? Do you have a favourite series? 

-youtube, tv shows and movies are my favorite medium. 

April 28th: If you could give advice to someone who just found out that they are autistic, what advice would you give? 

-i’d give them a friendly slap on the back and say ‘’good luck pal’’ lol. honestly though even i don’t know what to do i’m still trying to figure it out

April 30th: What would you like your overall message for autism acceptance month to be? 

-just that we’re cool people and NT’s need to shut the fuck up and sit down and listen tbh