#Ngl the way they handle the whole mechanic of

[cookii-moon]

Okay so before I mentioned the emoticon visors as a half joke but TBH I think prime empire needs more love

Like. Does it have flaws? Sure, the final fight may have been rushed (I don’t see it tbh but to each their own) and the skybound style elimination format means some of the characters (COLEEEEEE) get fake out death-ed and don’t really show up for the rest of the season, or Jay not getting a lot of character development

But also I think Prime empire is just fun.

Like. It’s just. It’s just fun to watch.

The colors and designs in Prime Empire are amazing and super pretty, the shorter episodes means it doesn’t take too much time, and it’s full of gems like the detective Zane episode, Okino, etc.

I dunno something about prime empire is so simple but just really fun to watch. You don’t NEED to think about any sort of lore or messaging or anything, just enjoy the silly ninjas driving cars in a pretty video game world.

Prime empire is honestly one of my favorite seasons, and part of it is because it’s just really fun to go back and watch it. I don’t need to care about any sort of overarching lore implications or character arcs, I can just turn my brain off and have fun. And it’s not shallow, either - there’s some really good parts in the story like Okino, Racer Seven, the Detective Zane episodes or Milton Dyer and his attitude towards robots eventually evolving and resulting in him reconciling with Unagami. It’s fun to watch but it also does have some amount of depth to the characters and story.

I dunno I think it’s a fun season with some nice stories in it and I think it should get more love because it’s always sort of overlooked.

…Except for Jay fans they’re obsessed with prime empire and sky bound

[xotication]

☆,

biker! ken hcs! (& car! guy ken cuz why not??)

biker ken

he rides a ninja 400.

before meeting you, he was for sure reckless. but after the two of you got involved with each other, he promised himself he’d be a lil more careful for you

everyone knows riding a motorcycle is dangerous as fuck, so he never wanted to have you worried

sometimes there’s night where he may go a lil too fast & ends up getting chased by police..

he texts you & tells you to have the garage open so he can just come in & have you close it immediately.. trust, you end up reprimanding him

he always takes you on rides when the sun is setting. idc, he tells you it reminds him of you

does wheelies just to scare you

one day you ask him to teach you how to ride & he says “last i checked, you’re already good at that”

you were left confused until it hit you.. “that is NOT what i meant!”

whenever he gets hit on, he mentions you with so much quickness

if a girl does happen to ask for his number, he gives them yours 😭😭😭 they don’t even know until they text you

if he ever gets injured, the first person he goes to is you, even if he feels that you can’t help. you’re his sense of comfort

like boy could lose a whole leg nd he’d prob call you first to let you know LMAO

his friends hate you bc they say you made him “soft” but you disagree completely!!!

you fear for your life half the time you're his backpack

he speeds through the smallest little cracks between vehicles on the freeway

he uses anything as a ramp & you hate it

when he's making sharp turns he touches the fucken ground with his hand "look how close we are!"

whenever you're in your car & he's on his bike, he always gaps you nd you think it's so mean. yet, he laughs every time

sometimes when he picks you up, he makes sure to make the most noise ever. that's mainly how you can tell he's arrived

i feel like his wardrobe is all black. the only color he has are the clothes you buy for him bc you tease him for being too emo

you also buy him a pikachu skin for his helmet as a joke, but he ends up loving it

he plays deftones on his rides, that or cigs after sex idc.. maybe even sign crushes motorist.. i feel like he's always in his feelings LMAO

whenever you guys are stopped next to a bus or a big semi truck, he always touches it

records pop vids & sends them to you..

car guy ken!

i honestly don't know what kind of car ken would drive..

it's between a supra mk4, nissan 350/370z, or maybe a 2013 bmw 3 :>

i mainly see him in a supra ngl

but whatever car ken drives, he puts WORK into.

you love being around whenever he's working on his cars tho, he'll be all dirty with oils nd shit but its so rawr

ken gets excited over new car parts too

one time you bought him a carbon fiber front bumper and he damn near cried over it

he put starry lights on the roof of the inside of his car to give you something pretty to look at

he lets you keep your little essentials in his glove department or his arm rest

you leave a scrunchie around his gear shift & glosses in his cup holder, plus lil makeup wipes in the lil side compartment on the door

i fear ken has road rage.. he hates slow drivers and flips people off so fucken often

not only that but this man never goes the speed limit???

his car is all blacked out.. so flying down dark highways with his headlights off is his fav thing to do

he hates when you opt out for driving your car.. especially when there's other cars being loud nd making noise. he feels left out, like a puppy taken from its owner

"baby, i wanna make noise too.." with the biggest pout you've ever seen.

one day he suggests that you guys save up for miatas so that your cars can make cute faces at each other & date. it was the sweetest idea ever

car guy ken handles all your car troubles. he's like your personal mechanic

he does donuts in empty parking lots

he did a burn out in your exes drive way & you didn't find out until said ex texted you fucken PISSED

"ken what the fuck??" "what.." "you know what!" "nuh uh."

takes you to car meets so he can teach you more about different cars & the mods you can add to them

can tell a car from the sound the engine is making..

lets you drive his car once & it was the scariest thing he'd ever done

"SLOW DOWN PLEASE"

"i'm going 70!??!"

"this is my baby, i don't want you to crash..."

whenever a car passes him, he takes it as a challenge & gaps them.

[un-local]

What do you think stops Rogier from being emotionally vulnerable? Do you think it’s something tied to his pride?

Hi anon!

Oooo, this is a fun question >:3

Really, it could be any number of things. This game is incredibly vague, so it’s very much up to reader interpretation/preference. Here’s my own personal read:

It’s a defense mechanism of sorts. A way to deal with the fact that no one really seems to in his corner. Fia’s using him to get to the cursemark, and D’s had a nasty falling out with him. (If his dialogue about Rogier is anything to go by.) I don’t think anyone else in the Hold even mentions him. 

Which is all to say: he’s on his own out there. He doesn’t have anyone to turn to, despite how much he may or may not need it. (And the way I write him; he needs it.)

Maybe this is a personal opinion, but the one thing that feels worse than opening up is doing so and getting something that completely misses the mark in response. God, that’ll kill ya. It’s a gut punch. As alienated as Rogier is implied to be, that kind of “misattunement” or whatever might feel even worse.

So, opening up invites the risk of an interaction turning sour. 

Given both D and Fia’s vast schisms in worldviews/values with Rogier, it might feel like a gamble to be vulnerable with of them nowadays. So, by never opening up at all, there’s no guessing game. No dice roll, no Russian Roulette. Utter Detachment = Utter Invulnerability. You can’t lose the game if you never play, right?

To quote one of my chapter endnotes: 

Rogier keeps a lot of emotion under the surface. He refuses to express it, and behaves with utter detachment in doing so. So, any interaction that could caused heightened emotion... it puts that aloof facade he clings to at risk. In a past post, I've summarized Rogier's mental state as this:

There's a fear, when you keep everything bottled up so tight. When you've never had that "safety" to be upset. That when you finally do crack, the whole dam will break, and everything will come out, and it'll be a goddamn mess. There's a fear you'll lose yourself in the flood. It'll be too much for you or anyone else to handle. Visions of avalanche. So on, so forth. [Ch 17 Endnotes Essay]

So yeah. I think it started out as a way to protect himself in his (presumed) life of nobility before. Something to keep interpersonal interactions predicable and tame; thus easy to navigate. But as time progressed, it’s something he’s become more and more dependent on. Without it, there’s a fear of losing himself in the deluge, so to speak. 

I’d like to point to Alberich here. If we want to, we might see Alberich as a sort of corrupted, twisted version of Rogier. A malicious externalization of everything he’s ever let fester inside him. Or at least, what Rogier fears he’d become should he express the depths of his “anger, grief, regret, [and] fears.” A jungian shadow, to go with Crunchy’s style of analysis. (Not that I’ve finished that video yet…)

And if you want my batshit thoughts on Alberich as Rogier’s foil… more here. Cursed art included. 

So, uh…. Yeah. I think it’s a defense mechanism, one that’s become the source of many of his problems. A vicious cycle. He can’t trust others because he’s alone; and he’s alone because he can’t trust others. 

I know I kept you waiting a while on this answer, anon. Thank you for your patience! Ngl: Baldur’s gate came out on console recently, and… uh… huh? Who am I again? What day is it? I think I finally snapped myself out of it, though. (Lie)

Jokes aside, thank you for the ask anon! :D

[1moreff-creator]

Hi! I'm pretty new to tumblr and I have no idea if it's appropriate to come into your askbox to talk about my drdt chapter 2 theories but I'm not confident enough to make my own post and it's more a fun thought I just had than an actual theory

/! \ this will contain spoilers for drdt obviously as well as THH in case people who follow you somehow havent played the game

the gist of it is, someone who is not the culprit could have messed with the crime scene.

It's mainly because so far the chapters seem to have reference to THH in more ways than just with the motives (it is probably too soon for it to be a pattern and ngl i kinda hope its not because if it is, with what we know of Rose' money issues she might end up the ch3 culprit and I want her to live so badly. would make the whole series a bit too predictable also, although i dont personally mind that kinda stuff)

because like. Chapter 1 had someone who got close to the protag, ended up betraying their trust, chose the murder location to frame someone specific, failed their murder attempt and died as a result with the real culprit technically acting in self defense (although its not 100% the case for Leon)

and in chapter 2 we have the victim who died a pretty quick and violent death (at least im pretty sure chihiros cause of death was a violent hit to the head? been a really long while, i could remember wrong) but the murder scene make it seem more complicated. And the victim died just after they decided to change/improve themselves in some way also

In both cases someone who has nothing (at least probably, in Davids case) to actually do with the murder have some pretty big part of themselves exposed during the trial

idk who would mess with the murder scene and for what purpose (Vero. for funsies. What a Legend)

I'm probably wrong cause that doesnt really explain the evidence at the crime scene. like. at all, i know

like Idk what the spinny thing has to do with anything (I mean you could put a bunch of tape on the handles just 'cause, i guess? but it would make more sense if it were involved in some sort of mechanism which you wouldn't need if Arei was already dead)

same for the ball of clothes and the flickering light

Whoever put the fish there though, whether its the actual killer or not, I'm pretty sure they did it to make everyone think the crime couldn't have happened at night time and fish water was actually never part of the murder itself

that would make someone physically strong like Levi the killer tho and even though it would make sense (pretty sure at this point that Arei has his secret) I feel like its too soon for him to die? Eden got more development and makes more sense to me (which breaks my heart, I love her)

Hi! Don't worry, none of us know what we're doing in this website! :D

No need to be shy about making your own posts, but it's also fine to talk/ask me about whatever crosses your mind! So, your theories/thoughts.

The possibility that someone other than the killer screwed with the crime scene is one I've seen before, and technically speaking, something like that most likely happened. I think it was an accomplice of the killer (Eden!Blackened Levi!Accomplice gang rise up), but a third party is part of other theories.

The fish are the main thing: given Nico's account (fish were all still there when they last fed them, which can be deduced to be around 7:00 - 7:30 PM of the third day, the day most of episode 7 takes place in), whoever took the fish must have done it at around the time the characters believe the murder happened. But there's no reason for the killer to bring the fish unless they were trying to confuse the time of death, which would only matter if they can have an alibi at the time the fish disappeared. But if they have an alibi at the time the fish disappear, they can't have taken the fish! (Which, btw, eliminates Veronika. Unfortunate, they won't let women do anything these days, not even mess with crime scenes for funsies smh)

So either it was someone unrelated messing with the crime scene, or an accomplice took the fish there to give the real killer an alibi. I'm planning to do a post summarizing my theory on how exactly the whole mess happened, so uh, stay tuned ig. But if you're interested in the "David screwed with the crime scene" idea, I recommend reading thebadjoe's theory on the murder. I may not agree with it, but it's still a fantastic post and a really fun read!

As for most of the other stuff, yeah Arei's death probably wasn't very simple. Explaining the odd contradiction of her wrists being bound but a mechanism clearly being involved (as you mentioned, tape on bars and flickering light, among other stuff) is a whole mess. It's part of why I'm not really sure this is absolutely supposed to parallel THH. Like clearly there's some similarities, but it's basically impossible to know what aspects of a case would be similar and which ones wouldn't. So, uh, yeah. Who knows.

I do agree Eden's the killer though! Why else would she take the tape from the gym? If you don't know what I'm talking about, basically the gym lockdown and the tape disappearing seemingly overnight makes it impossible for anyone but Teruko, Ace or Eden (or I guess Rose if she's lying) to have taken the tape. But since the tape also disappears from the background right after Ace wakes up... yeah, just Teruko Ace or Eden. But we know Teruko didn't, Ace couldn't have done it without Teruko noticing, and Eden got knocked to the floor when the tape disappeared from the floor :p

And yeah, it hurts. It will be a sad day when the killer gets executed, regardless of who they are, but especially if it's Eden T_T

[draiad]

FFVII Rebirth Spoilers Ahead

NGL This is going to be a big ramble but BUT I finished this game a bit ago now and I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. For anyone who is curious I ADORED it. There were a few moments I had frustrations with (Looking at you box throwing mini game) but that aside this game is still a solid 10/10 for me.

Be prepared for a lot of this to not make sense because I am typing as the thoughts come, there is no organization to them. for the TL:DR I liked the game and I am super excited for the answers we're going to get in part 3.

I cannot get over how well they handled the characters in this game. I should have expected it with how good of a job they did in Remake but they managed to absolutely blow my mind this game AGAIN.

That aside the thing I want to really focus on right now is the timeline stuff. I don't really have any solid theories as to how things are going to resolve nor do I have any set in stone mindset for Aerith's current situation but I have thoughts and ideas of how I would LIKE them to go.

I'm very curious about the timeline stuff. The characters who seem to have knowledge of other timelines vs those who don't. Its clear Zack, Biggs and Marlene are aware that there's something going on, not necessarily what but the fact that Marlene and Biggs knew of Cloud while in Zack's timeline makes me wonder what that means for Marlene in Cloud's timeline. I figure the hug from remake imparted all Marlene's with a bit of knowledge? I don't even know and I cannot wait to find out.

I also found the whispers a lot easier to deal with mentally this time around when thinking of them as extensions of Sephiroth and either Aerith or the life stream.

I may be wrong but I also feel like the weapons we saw in this game were the unwoken/larval stages of Ruby and Sapphire. I absolutely adored that sequence with Tifa and it makes me HELLA excited to see her help Cloud piece himself back together.

And then AND THEN we have that whole mess (still loved it all) with how they handled Aerith's death. I'm of two mindsets right now with what happened there. The one that I think is most likely true is Aerith is dead dead and Cloud is seeing her as some coping mechanism. I'm not 100% sold on the idea of it being Jenova manipulating him (though that would be hella dark and I would LOVE it). The other thing that I feel like may be the case is Aerith is dead but in the lifestream and is actively communicating with Cloud. Again not fully sold on it but I suppose we're just gonna have to wait and see. I think next game when we revisit things we're going to get that iconic scene of him lowering her into the water as he finally accepts the truth. Maybe after he recovers himself. All I know is its going to be so heartbreaking and good to watch as the team start doubting him while he spirals.

I think the black materia is going to be a fun game-play element to his skills in the next game too and I am super excited for some sort of Dark Knight Cloud. I feel like we're going to lose him pretty early on in part 3, I fully expect within the first couple of hours of the game the northern crater shit is going to go down and we'll have Party Leader Tifa for a while.

I can honestly say I don't know what kind of ending I want for this trilogy. Part of me wants it to be a reset, for the timeline to return to what it should. Another part of me wants it to be the happy ending for all. Either way I'll probably be happy. I think the only ending that would piss me off is someone wakes up and it was all a dream.

[heloflor]

Ranking the 10 Showtime transformations because why not

Note that this is based on gameplay. If it was based on design, this list would be widely different. Mild spoilers as I mention the number of levels + a few elements in some of them.

(1.5k words below)

10. Swordfighter Peach: The more trailers I saw the more I expected this one to be rather dull and repetitive, and yeah it was. All you do is run and press a button, sometimes having to wait before pressing it. It probably doesn’t help that I’m not into beat 'em ups. The design and aesthetic are really cool, but the gameplay really gets dull.

9. Mermaid Peach: Ok so while I absolutely adore this game and would buy a sequel/DLC in a heartbeat if Nintendo released one tomorrow, there are two big issues I have with it. You can’t skip the in-level cutscenes and dialogues (which makes going back to collect everything very tedious) and the game is way too short.

Tbh I would’ve loved to have at least eight levels per transformations, but regardless I do think we should have had at least five, that way not only would the game be longer but we could also have had more game mechanics for each transformation, as there was a lot of potential here and it feels like the game only scratched the surface of what could be done with them (ngl I’m very curious about the scrapped content of this game).

The way I see it, the first and second levels stay the same, third you start in the transformation and it introduces a new mechanic, fourth is the Sparklas rescue level, and fifth is a play done fully with the Sparkla by your side, as I feel like having one long/full level with each Sparkla would have made one specific cutscene more effective since we would’ve seen more of them as a result.

Going back to the topic of Mermaid Peach, thing is, while each transformation had more potential, I’m still very satisfied with what we ended up having for all of them, including Swordfighter. Mermaid is the exception tho, as unlike the others it feels like an actual waste of potential, not helped by the first level being a complete slug in its first half and the Sparkla level being ridiculously short.

Like that transformation is just a whole lot of nothing. You either move some fishes or do a not-actually-a-rhythm-game concert, both of which aren’t the most interesting thing. Tbh I should probably put it below Swordfighter but I do like controlling the fishes, especially in the second level, so it gets some points for that. But it’s still a very “nothing” transformation.

I think the issue is that they didn’t fully commit to their ideas for it. Like we get a few puzzles but they’re way too short and easy, same with the concert that isn’t much of a minigame. I feel like had they pushed for longer or more complex puzzles and done something different for the concert, it would have been a better transformation. Or at least make the puzzles of the first level better, as I do like the way they handled the second level’s fight-oriented section.

And unrelated but huge props to whoever did the opera singing bc some of the notes they hit are high!

8. Mighty Peach: It’s basically the same issue as Swordfighter. You run around and attack, rinse and repeat. But this time it’s more satisfying and there’s more gameplay variety. Also the boss of the second stage had so much effort put into them and I can’t help but love it for it. Still all about running and punching, but it’s more fun.

7. Kung-Fu Peach: Same deal as Swordfighter and Mighty. Now I’m putting it above the other two bc they do try to give you different ways of fighting on top of some platforming, and going down the polls is very satisfying when there are tons of enemies. I also find the bosses to be better than Swordfighter, even if in both cases it’s just “press the attack button at the right time”. I think it’s the animations, it’s just more fun. The boss for the Sparkla rescue is especially enjoyable. But yeah ultimately it’s still a lot of running and punching.

6. Figure Skater Peach: This one was weird to rank bc I do really like the gameplay, they did a really good job at mixing up minigame with fighting, plus the boss is fun. But at the same time the levels themselves aren’t all that good imo.

I think this transformation might suffer the most from only having three levels. Like I wish we had more exploring/"platforming" the likes of the first level (the section after the performance but before the boss), but at the same time I like the parade float idea of the second level. The first level also has a fairly long “tutorial” (the performance section) but at the same time I get why it’s there. So yeah, I guess the issue is moreso how little levels they are, making the flaws of what we have stand out more.

On that note, I found the controls to be a bit janky at times, especially when it comes to turning around, but I’m willing to forgive some of it since it’s ice physics + gives some more difficulty (even though I’m not the biggest fan of when the difficulty comes from jankiness rather than lack of skill)

The sparkla level is amazing tho!

5. Patissiere Peach: The transformation I expected the least of and ended up genuinely surprised by how enjoyable it is. You don’t even do that much, there’s only two minigames that are played out three times, but for some reason I still love it. And I like how tight the timing on the cookies is on the second level, in general they don’t leave you much room to mess it up which I like.

4. Cowgirl Peach: It’s basically the opposite of Figure Skater. I don’t find the gameplay itself all that interesting but the levels are so good and manage to use said gameplay very well, which really makes up for it! The second and Sparkla level in particular are really good, I really enjoyed them!

3. Dashing Thief Peach: Look I grew up playing Mario games, of course I’m going to enjoy the 2D platforming levels. But yeah those are really fun! Love the vibes, cool levels, and I especially like the Sparkla one as it really feels like they’re testing you on every ability with the four different rooms + the escape. Really enjoyable transformation!

2. Detective Peach: I had no idea what to expect of this one and am still surprised by how much I love it. I don’t know if this is the mystery angle, the fact you can skip dialogues and even go straight to the answer if you want to without needing any clue (which makes replaying the levels way less tedious), the Junior detective that I can’t help but love, the fact you can check on everything which makes my monkey brain happy, Peach’s “I’m smarter than everyone else” face when getting the answer that I find hilarious, or level 2 as a whole (especially the very beginning and “cutscene” at the end), but yeah I adore this one!

The only negative I can say is that there’s little replayability once you know the answer, which I’m assuming is an issue with the genre in general so it’s not like the game could have done this differently, and the Sparkla level which is way too short and easy. Other than that, love it!

1. Ninja Peach: Like I said for Dashing Thief, I’m a big fan of platforming. And this level is all platforming on top of really fun infiltration. They also somehow managed to make auto-scrolling sections fun, which I really like (I think it’s the speed that makes them enjoyable).

Speaking of infiltration I’m also a big fan of all the silly animations Peach has when sneaking around (the two branches clearly not made of grass, the wall disguise that doesn’t hide her hair, the bamboo, the shoes when walking on water, the log with hair when spotted, trying to walk sneakily in that one section from the second level), you can tell the people working on the game had fun with those!

Also the “scroll usage” sections are incredibly satisfying, especially the one from the second level. The Sparkla level is also very fun, tho not my favorite. But yeah, it’s just a very fun and satisfying transformation!

(Note that I’m aware of how dumb it is to complain about some transformations “not having much going on gameplay wise” or “only being two buttons to push” when literally every single one of them is just pushing two buttons, but the difference lies in how much variety they were able to get out of each transformation on top of the genre for each, both of which make for a more or less enjoyable experience depending on the transformation.

For example, both Swordfighter and Dashing Thief only have two buttons you can push, but Swordfighter ends up being exclusively about fighting enemies, while Dashing Thief has a few puzzles, some quick action moments, a gliding section and some “rail sliding” (no idea what else to call it). It’s still just pushing two buttons, but they got more variety out of it, hence being more interesting.)

[morvantmortuary]

No pressure to answer this ask, but—if you didn't know—I got the news today that I have some precancerous skin cells that need to be evicted/excised in about a week. I'm fine, but I'm a little overwhelmed? Processing? Disassociating? I would love some Morvant comfort, if you don't mind. Maybe, how they would react and/or help if their S/O got a similar diagnosis? (Also, I hope you're having a great day <3)

I'm sorry this has taken me so long, bud, but I've been thinking about it since you sent it in!! I had somehow missed that post, and I'm sorry it's something you have to deal with right now. I'm sure it'll all go super smoothly, and then it'll be something you don't have to worry about any more, okay? 🖤 I'm flattered you thought of the Morvants to help you feel more at ease, babe :) They all have their ways, as you'll see under the cut!

Maxi would be doing his best not to hover, ngl. The day you found out, he would have insisted on going with you to the appointment, if you were comfortable with that. If you didn't want him to go in with you, he'd be content to hang in the waiting room (making cheerful conversation with whoever was there, despite the fact that whoever was on the other end of that would have the faintest feeling of something being... off. it's all the Death!). Or if you wanted him to go in with you, he'd be happy to make small talk with your doctor, anatomy guy to anatomy person, as he does, until you got the news.

Once you'd heard you needed the procedure, he'd be sitting on his hands not to ask a million questions, so as not to overwhelm you. He'd drive you to wherever you wanted to go after: your place, the House, somewhere to grab a bite, a park to just sit and get some air for a bit. He'd maybe tilt his hand a little bit by sitting closer to you than usual, be a bit more reluctant to let go of your hand, but he'd be his usual chipper self nonetheless. He'd only reluctantly go handle clients, living or deceased, as needed, but he'd insist he'd have his phone on him the whole time if you needed him to come back. (And he'd jump whenever he thought he heard it make a noise, too - imagine him sitting with a grieving couple burying someone's mom, and then from his pocket comes a loud chorus of the little laser noises baby alligators make. Very confusing for all involved.)

The minute you were busy - playing a game, watching a show, having a nap - he'd be googling the procedure and everything that goes into aftercare, researching statistics, all the stuff a worrywart would do. Partially so he can get himself to calm down and stop mentally catastrophizing, as he also does, but mostly so he can find some way to be reassuring if you wanted to talk about it. When you brought it up, he'd be all smiles. "It's super common, darlin'," he'd soothe, acting like he definitely knew that the whole time and hadn't been up reading everything he could find online at three am. "Bodies just do that, sometimes, it's like they trip over their own mechanisms and glitch. Livin' things have a habit of gettin' confused. But it'll be fine, you'll see - they'll take care of it, and it'll just be a one-and-done kinda deal." He'd promise this with a kiss to your forehead. "And you won't have to lift a finger after the fact, I'll be your butler as long as you need," he'd joke.

He’d only be a little nervous in the sense that he wasn’t sure if his usual death jokes would be fine, or be somewhat upsetting. Not that this was even going to be a possibility, of course - he just knows health scares can make people sensitive. He’d hesitate a little bit if when he asked if you wanted to go sit at your usual spot in the cemetery, or would maybe be a little more inclined to borrow the mustang from Hex instead of taking the hearse. You might catch him once or twice cutting himself off after what sounds like a set-up for one of his grim puns, suddenly trailing off before following it with a shy smile and a “Sorry, lost my train of thought.” He’d even be cautious about what horror movies or spooky web videos the pair of you watched, if you even felt like watching them at all; he’d make a point to carefully steer clear of anything to do with hospital horror or medicine, instead opting for creature features or ghosts - something with a definite third party threat.

The day of, he wouldn't even consider not going with you. He'd be there the whole time (even in the room, depending on the treatment), happily telling you every weird fact he knew about skin to try and keep you distracted during the process. afterward he'd be dedicated to catering to you as much as possible, keeping you comfortable (at your place or the House as you preferred) and playing up the whole butler thing whenever you need something with an awful British accent and a bit of a RiffRaff bent back, just to make you laugh. You could definitely expect some of his cookies he makes for clients, and some fresh-squeezed lemonade to go with them, but whatever you wanted, honestly, he'd be happy to make for you or go get. The rest of the time, he'd be wrapped around you like a sloth on your couch in an old t-shirt and sweats, only letting go whenever you needed to free yourself for some reason. He's a hugger - it's just as much for him as it is for you.

He'd insist on being there too when you went for your follow-up, but everything turns out fine, so he'd just think of the whole ordeal as one of those one-off kind of scary things that happens when you love someone in a mortal body. (Although if there was the possibility, he'd ask if there were any tissue samples for you to keep if you wanted them, just because he thought they might be a neat souvenir. :'D)

Hex is a little less white-knuckled about the whole thing, as always. He'd be concerned, for sure: as someone who deals mostly with the spectral part of things, bodies occasionally make him nervous with just how they can go rogue. But he'd be more of the approach that until something happened, there was nothing to worry about. "It'll be fine, querida," he'd say that afternoon, after finding out you needed the procedure. (He would've gone with you to the appointment if you asked him to, but he figures you'll let him know when you need some moral support, so he's a bit more relaxed about things.) "They caught it, we'll go hand over some of your skin, it'll all be no big deal." He'd kiss the back of your hand, giving you his best 'do I look worried?' smile.

He pointedly does not google things, because the more he knows, the more his brain spins it around like shoes in a dryer. But you'd probably notice that between now and the day you'd go in to get it done, he'd be baking more than usual: bread, cookies, concha, even something fried like beignets, any recipe he had knocking around in his skull that he knew worked with your dietary needs. (Just not pie, his pies are cursed.) You'd be working on your draft in another room, or streaming a game, and he'd wander in with something that smelled heavenly on a plate. "Here, baby, you gotta eat some of this this, I got bored and made too much," he'd say, setting it down in front of you while still in a flour-covered apron. He'd stand there absently wiping his hands on it, watching whatever you were doing idly. "What do you think you want for dinner, anyway? I was thinking chilaquiles, but like, if you were feeling something else, I can do that. I can even try something new, if you want, I've been needing something to dick around with," he'd say, shrugging like this was all totally normal. But secretly, he'd be keeping himself busy in the kitchen because it took up more of his brain than his photography. When it's just him and his camera, he has too much time between framing and shooting to let his mind wander to places he didn't want it to. Cooking (especially baking) requires focus, and more involved use of his hands. If he kept busy, he couldn't find time to think about it, and if he couldn't think about it, he couldn't worry. You'd eat even better than usual between your appointment and the procedure, which is wild, because he feeds you pretty well to begin with. On the day of, there'd be a chance he'd show up to your procedure with brownies for the clinic staff, just because he'd filled the whole kitchen by that point.

When he wasn't in the kitchen, Hex would be a bit like a prickly seedpod from outside - one part of him would seemingly be stuck to you at all times when it was just the two of you hanging out. That could be his chin resting on your shoulder out of nowhere, or his shoulder bumping yours when you were washing dishes, even sleeping with his foot against one of your calves when he was rolling around like a rotisserie chicken as always.

The day of, he'd go with you, seemingly cool as a cucumber. He'd crack jokes the whole time, but for someone who normally gives you space when it comes to your appointments for your privacy's sake, he'd be notably determined not to leave your side. He'd stick to you like glue everywhere he was allowed to go, and afterward, he'd drive home in the mustang with one hand on your knee (being surprisingly good at driving one-handed!). He'd make an exaggerated deal of how brave you were when you got home, peppering your face with playful "mwah" kisses, but there'd be just a little relief to it.

When you inevitably got the all-clear, he'd visibly relax as soon as he found out. "I knew it was gonna be fine," he'd say immediately, holding up a hand. "It was always gonna be fine. I just like having the official 'okay you're good,' y'know? Like... you know what I mean," he'd say, rolling his eyes at himself. But he would insist on the two of you dancing that night to celebrate if you felt up to it, either going out or just in the kitchen with his speakers.

Rora wouldn't be unconcerned, but she'd definitely be a bit less rattled than the boys. "Skin is such a fickle organ," she'd say, almost sounding irritated on your behalf. "I swear, it's the only one that needs this much manual intervention not to be a pain in the neck. You don't see your lungs needin' moisturizer, or your heart needin' retinol," she'd add, looking back down at whatever she was working on to keep her hands busy - repotting a plant, altering the hem of one of her dresses, or placing the eyes in a stuffed possum. "...Granted," she'd add after a moment. "I suppose that's because they're technically already moist. What I'm gettin' at is," she'd say, looking back up. "You don't have to worry about it, sweet pea. It's just one of those things."

But the minute you showed any sort of concern, she'd drop what she was doing, coming over to you to gently cup your face like you were made of something fragile. "Daffodil," she'd say, making a point to meet your eyes. "Nothin' bad is gonna happen. This is just an inconvenience - one more thing you have to do, like you don't have enough on your plate as is." She'd kiss the end of your nose. "The doctors will do their jobs right if they wanna keep their hands attached to their bodies, and this'll just be somethin' you need the day off for. That's all." She'd run her hand over your hair, taking you in. "I'm not gonna let anything hurt my petal, I swear.” (How she intended to fight errant skin cells was a mystery, but something in her voice made you think she might indeed have her ways.)

In the meantime, she would almost seem doggedly determined to keep the pair of you busy. Whenever you weren’t at work or occupied with one of your own projects, she would seemingly find all sorts of things for the pair of you to do: she’d surprise you with couple’s massage appointments if she thought it would be something you’d like, she’d take you to get your nails done (manicure, pedicure, or both, whatever you were most comfortable with sensory-wise), she’d abruptly decide that the pair of you definitely needed to have a picnic in the back garden, and then ask if you’d help her plant some new rose bushes. Just when you thought you’d get a moment to just sit and stew for a bit, she’d sneak up behind you and ask if your show her how a smartphone works again (despite you being pretty sure she already knew), or if you wouldn’t mind helping her take her latest taxidermies to the little market stall where she sells them. She’d not only seem to be dying to pamper you, she’d also seemingly suddenly be unable to complete any of her to-do list without you being in the near vicinity. She wouldn’t do it to the point of exhausting you, of course - she’d make sure the two of you had plenty of downtime when it was needed. But if anything, it would seem like her approach was to make sure neither of you had time to think about it, even if that did mean you were suddenly involved in your own private taxidermy masterclass one evening.

If you did voice your anxieties, Rora would make a point to freeze her hands in place with whatever she was doing and listen. That doesn’t always mean she would be staring at you — if anything, you knew that sometimes Ror was listening all the more deeply when her eyes were fixed on something else. But when you’d gotten it off your chest, she would look up at you again, her eyes oddly calm. “I don’t blame you one bit for bein’ nervous, little bee,” she’d say quietly. “But you don’t need to be, because nothin’ is gonna happen. I told you, and I intend to keep my word. So you just leave that part to me, okay?” And she’d smile that small, quiet smile that, while it was reassuring, also made you feel a little bit like she had something up her sleeve. (Which is odd in its own way, because she normally hates wearing sleeves.) But she’d be especially affectionate in the days between your diagnosis and the procedure, often hugging you soundlessly from behind, or sneaking a kiss on your cheek whenever you least expected it. When the pair of you slept, she’d fiddle with the ends of your hair until she dozed off, her other arm snugly over your waist.

Rora hates doctors for lots of reasons - partially because she saw her grandfather, her father, and now her brother deal with what she viewed as their failures, and partially because of her own experiences as a young girl with mental illness in the South when she was alive. That wouldn’t keep her from coming with you to your appointment, though, even if she had to wear a high-necked dress and a scarf over her hair in the Louisiana heat to hide her more interesting scars. No one would question the mysterious woman who followed you to the exam room, or the fact that she sat just in the corner of your eye the entire time. When the procedure was over with, she’d hold your hand the entire way out, and then immediately demand whichever of the boys she made drive you both there (probably Hector, but both if Maxi could make it) to take all of you to whatever junk food/dessert place was calling your name.

When you got the inevitable all-clear, she would beam, her smile sublime. “I told you it would all work out, petal,” she’d coo, planting lipstick kisses all over your face. Until she’d pause, leaning back. “Saves me from havin’ to harvest some doctors’ fingers, too. Thank god.” When you asked her what, exactly, she would’ve needed those for, she’d just shrug coyly with a smirk to mask. “That’s not a spell we need to cast right now, honey. Don’t you worry your pretty head about it.” Then the two of you would spend the entire evening doing absolutely nothing (until you took an interest in each other, that is.)

-

I hope this helps at all, babe. 🖤 If we can do anything for you, don’t hesitate to let us know! Love you lots!! 🥰 Everything is gonna be fine, you’ll see!

Rora deeply dislikes doctors for all sorts of reasons -- a bit because her grandfather, her father, and now her brother frequently dealt/deal with what she perceives as their failures, a bit because of her own experiences with them when she was alive. But she’d be determined to go to your procedure, even if she had to wear a high neck and a scarf around her hair in the heat to cover up her more unusual scars. She wouldn’t be able to drive you, but she’d get one of the guys to do it if need be, and keep her hand on your thigh the entire ride over. Oddly, the doctors wouldn’t question the mysterious woman who followed you into the exam room from the waiting room - and she’d be quietly off to the side the entire time, just out of the corner of your eye. The minute you left, she’d be holding your hand all the way to the car, and immediately demand whichever of the guys she roped into driving (likely Hector, although both would come if they could) to stop by whatever fast food/dessert place was most speaking to you at the moment. You’d spend the rest of the night doing nothing at all (until you took an interest in each other, that is).

When you got the all-clear, she would just beam. “Good. I knew that. See? You’re gonna be fine, petal.” She’d enthusiastically pepper your face with lipstick kisses, until she’d pause at one point. “Saves me from havin’ to steal a bunch of doctors’ fingers, too. Thank god, that would’ve been such a pain.” When you asked her, perhaps somewhat hesitantly, what she wanted with those, she’d just shrug. “Never you mind, my rose. We won’t be needin’ that spell after all,” she’d say, her smile positively sublime.

[hertwood]

dts s5 e3-5

e3: -"i am perfect 🥰" fuck u know what sometimes the charles leclerc charm does get to me ngl -"breaking america is very important" OH IS IT. let andretti join then -i'll say it. miami isn't that bad. you can critisize the consumerism of it all without being so anti-america yall -fuck caitlyn jenner but her gushing to christian horner abt how great it is that ferrari is winning is iconic -i did watch this season but i did after the fact /knowing/ max was gonna win in the end. its sorta hitting me how it did really look like, oh my god, charles could really win here. just lookin at his lil face thinking how much did he get his hopes up. how much did i hurt, watching it slip away. how do u even handle that emotionally -i know i've talked abt this before but when i was binging the 2022 season i got super drunk before/while watching miami and when i woke up in the morning i remembered basically nothing other than carlos taking his shirt off (priorities). i watched the race highlights sober and was surprised by the lando crash. lol -if anything this rewatch is putting me back in my max girlie era. chomp chomp chomp. and/or i'm ovulating. combination of both -cannot wait for padel game 2023 edition on dts. it will be superior i know it -i do think its wierd that theyre framing (trying to) prioritize charles as a mean thing to do when its exactly what merc did in 2021 for lewis and it was 100% necessary both times. the guy who said 'ferrari won with the wrong car' wasnt wrong thats just how this shit works!!! -idk why dts couldn't just explain that max has non terminal but non fixable damage and thats why he was so damn slow. i feel like it wouldve been so easy to just mention. give context to why he couldnt get back up there -i dont think having multiple episodes focus on the same race from different perspectives is the worst thing ever, but i do think they fucked it up here by having the silverstone episodes back 2 back 2 back...... at least mix it up a lil. put another episode inbetween so we've forgotten by the time its being rehashed is it rly that hard

e4: -"i would've fucked the whole paddock" you know what maybe gunther IS iconic. maybe i will miss him a lil -i'm not a mick girlie but he is such a sweet boy. gunther count ur days :) -being reminded that michael and jos were teammates is such a jumpscare. how did that happen -"its not about proving them wrong, its about proving yourself right." HES SUCH A SMART N WISE LIL BOY. MWAH MWAH MWAH -that was a legitimately terrifying high speed crash. like a crash is a crash but the way that car got torn up is insane -STAY AWAY FROM OLLIE BEARMAN BTW -kevin supporting mick is So Important like an older sibling trying to break the cycle w/ a shitty parent. kevin i love u -ALSO underrated ship. btw -respectfully. as someone who knows nothing abt cars. if the haas keeps having problems splitting in half during crashes mayb. its a car issue. just a thought -faldskjfalksjf but this monaco crash: thinkin abt during the race, kevin had a mechanical dnf nearly the same time, so when the camera cut from mick's smashed car to kevin standing on the side of the track, looking disappointed, there was legitimate confusion on who fucking crashed. anyway that goes to show MAYBE THE CAR IS JUST SHIT -sebmick. is indeed. important -i love the way mick thinks his name is only a blessing. i just love seeing other people be brutally positive in the face of adversity bc its what i aspire to try to do too. its a good mindset to have i hope he is doin well now <3 -small children humbling tf out of christian horner is so important actually -i'm so glad daniel knew what he was worth with haas. i'm so glad they couldn't damn afford him. as he should 💅 -mick & max ALSO underrated ship. this man is so shippable -i am glad max n mick got to have this lil battle tho. they got to have what their dads predicted finally :)

e5: -ok so this is actually the most recent dts episode ive seen since before i started the rewatch, right after otmar got fired i watched it as a fun lil victory lap. this'll be fun lets goooooooo -otmar as a man is such a walking ick. even if i dislike other TPs at least they dont give me the ick. thats the second most unforgivable crime otmar has committed -i'm sorry the way otmar left AM bc he didnt like lawrence as a boss only to sign up to work for LAURENT ROSSI????? u have to laugh -i've said it before and i'll say it again nando n estie were fucking raw 100% -even if mclaren continued to be shit and alpine didn't implode oscar still made the right choice bc CLEARLY otmar was keen on keeping the nandoestie lineup for as long as fucking possible. and then he gets mad when oscar realizes that and bails??? i hate this man sm -'je m'appelle yuki. merci' iconic dts quote. yall if dts didnt exist we wouldnt have this be grateful -ok. so i know when this season came out this whole dando in the parking garage bit got some heat bc apparently that was not at paul ricard like the episode implies. but honestly. listen. netflix got a fun lil moment with daniel and lando. they didnt have anywhere else to put it. was there really any harm with having it squeezed in there. its not like ppl thinking theres a parking garage at paul ricard is super damaging misinformation. pls find real solid criticisms of dts instead of this kinda bitchin and moanin THANK U -HI SEBCHAL CRUMBS -ok um. not 2 tinhat here but i know dts got some heat for not having enough women in this season. did they go back and add these bits with jennie gow after she recovered from her stroke i dont remember her being here. its fine i just dont particularly like how netflix can go back n change shit -i hate birthdays i get so much second hand cringe from this. if i never get sung happy birthday again ever in my life that would be ideal -how many times has nando left and gone back to renault/alpine? god its like a girl who wont stop getting back together with a cheating bf and then being surprised when he cheats again oh fernando left ur team WATER IS WET BABES -ok what i'm getting is otmar is bad at getting contracts finalized in a timely manner and maybe this is his damn fault :) -'lets show him he made the wrong choice' you have to laugh ladjfaklsjdfaljd

[fandomhopped]

I’m Not Alright, but I’ll Pretend:)

pairing: bucky barnes x platonic!reader, tony stark x platonic!reader, steve rogers x platonic!reader, sam wilson x platonic!reader ; 2nd person pov - no y/n

summary: reader is still going through it and is kinda pitiful ngl / no pronouns, non-gender specific. side note: once again, i just needed to rant because this is my only coping mechanism.

warnings: swearing, exclusion, self-destructive thoughts, low self-esteem, jealousy.

word count: 712 pt. 1

You know he has Pepper and Rhodey and Happy, but the way he just let you right back in even after you dropped him without a second thought and without making you feel bad about leaving him in the first place, just adds to how he is a better friend than anyone else.

But the thing is, Tony has Pepper and Rhodey and Happy - people who were his friends before either of you even acknowledged each others' existence.

At the end of the day, he's going to choose them over you and he has. And that's fine because a few months previous, you would have chosen Bucky before anyone else.

It kills you, chipping off bits and bits of yourself until you're nothing, but right at the very last piece,

Bucky.

He's back.

You run back just like you said you would.

And he invites you back into his life with open arms. He takes you to dinner and you laugh and you're carefree and you catch up on the shit you missed in each others' lives and you're happy again.

Genuine shit.

And then, the next time he asks you to join him for a meal... it's with Sarah.

Sarah. Beautiful, lively, caring, emotionally available, self-confident, mentally stable, Sam's sister Sarah.

And he's happy.

You would want nothing more because he needs to be happy. He deserves it.

Except why can't he be happy with you?

Platonically, you're happy when you're with him and you thought he was happy with you too.

But you know what? You can handle it. You can hang out with Bucky and Sarah if it means you get to hang out with Bucky at all.

That's when you find out it just so happens that Steve and Sam and Bucky and Sarah have all been hanging out together the whole time.

Without you.

They actually invited you to hang out with them at some point and you were ignored the majority of the time, but you know what? You were there with them and that's all that matters, right?

You're included again, you get to be there. You're on the team, even if you're watching from the sidelines. You get to wear the jersey and pat the starters on the back when they do something good and if they do really good, you get a championship ring too, so does playing time really even matter?

It's actually insane how quickly your life can go downhill, but you're alright.

Crying really isn't your thing - anger, hurt, disappointment; it all just stays pent up inside your body.

And it stays there until you decide to forget about it and you think those people you've let screw you over too many times changed in the five fucking weeks they completely ignored you.

So you give them time and space and all the love and support and whatever else you can fucking give them until you've given them your all and what do they give you in return? Five seconds of their attention then go running back to the people that haven't done shit for them.

God forbid, you open up to anyone either. You just keep pretending you're happy until you believe it for a second and the rug is pulled out from under you again.

"I'm fine, I'm just tired."

"I'm okay, really."

"I'm alright, I just don't feel good."

You're fine, you dramatic, self-absorbed little bitch - the mantra you play in your head.

You're worn down and falling apart, but those five seconds of attention build you up, right to the top, and then the sixth-second hits, and you're chipping, chipping, chipping away again.

Ultimately, who's really going to care if you leave?

Maybe you should move.

Not just a different city, state, or country, what if you left the planet? Carol's offered before, she told you of this awesome place with people who are really easy to blend in with. People you can be yourself with.

Now is the best time to go, when you don't have any doubts or second thoughts. No "but what if they miss me?" because you know they won't, you're sure of it at this very moment.

Does it mean you're giving up or protecting yourself from future, inevitable, harm?

[taeyamayang]

HQ BOYS WHEN YOU FALL ASLEEP

PAIRING: Kenma Kozume x Reader | Bokuto Kotaurou x Reader | Tsukishima Kei x Reader | Akaashi Keiji x Reader

GENRE: fluff! | comfort! | mutual pining but yall are too coward to admit feelings for e/o

a/n: got this idea from a sleepy kenma fanart i saw and im so soft,, a short one bc this is an impulsive idea lmao

kenma, bokuto, tsukki, & akaashi

kozume kenma

the three of you: you, kuroo, and kenma were supposed to hangout after school

BUT someone ditched it the moment you all reached kenma's house

he said he forgot to do something important so he has to go

ofc kenma isn't buying that lame excuse and kuroo knows that too

probably with the way the scowl on the other's face deepens

and his eyes shooting laser beams at kuroo's smug face

the older has been teasing kenma ever since he gushed about how the younger's facial expression instantly softens when he sees you

kenma denied that

of course

but as the teasing goes on the tint on his cheeks becomes more apparent thus fueling the fire

kuroo loves seeing kenma lose his calmness over his growing feelings for you

so since kuroo is goneㅡthe parent in the room

you both decided to play games

because there's no one to scold you both about spending too much time on videogames

it's a teamplayer game and the two of you have to go through each level with at least one of you alive to continue the quest

you thought you have a pretty good knack on games until you're playing with him

like

your character died not even half of the level done yet

was the game too hard or he's just too good at it?

so you are left to watch him continue the game alone

you have no idea up how many hours you both have been playing but with the way your eyes flutter close

you know it's been a couple of hours

the side of your head rests on the inner portion of your left arm

as the said arm stretches across the coffee table

the two of you sat on the floor of the living room

kenma's eyes are fixated at the tv, his eyebrows crosses as he focus on keeping his character alive

he is your only hope to get through this level

however, your battle against the surge of melatonin in your body is a much harder quest

soon, you drift off to sleep

the tv blares its mechanic voice,

"level cleared!"

"____, i did it." kenma says turning his head to you but to his surprise he sees you dozed off over the table

he keenly keeps his orbs to you

lips slightly parted, eyelids gently pulled down, and your breath lightly rolling out of your mouth

one side of his lips pulls up

he has never seen you sleep before and oddly he finds it more interesting than the current videogame

he twists his body to face you so he gets a better view of your sleeping state

slowly he slides his arm across the coffee table, mirroring your position

with his head turned to you

he takes his time as he stares at you for a bit longer

he raises one hand in the air to bring it inches away from your face

but he immediately stops when he realizes what he was about to do

he didn't want to wake you up

so he settles his hand mid-air as he studies every curve of your face

his fingers bend as he looks through it, imagining how your face would feel around his touch

his mouth pulls into a tender smile

bokuto koutarou

hanging out with him is pretty normal

it's been an on going thing whether you spend time outside or within the four corners of your houses

today, you both planned on watching a movie

you insisted on a horror film while he opted for a rom-com

because that boy can't handle spooky stuff ngl

knowing how stubborn you two can get bokuto decided to let rock-papers-scissors do the decision making

and he won

and now you're stuck with his favorite rom-com movie that you both had seen multiple times in the past

honestly, you enjoy rewatching the whole thing because you love seeing bokuto's reaction like it's his first time seeing the show

but tonight just feels a little different

maybe because you had tons of other things to do before the said movie date

so you're drained and tired

and with bokuto's attention glued to the show you are left to keep your eyelids open

sitting next to him on the sofa, you pull your legs up

looping your arms around your legs as your vision starts to blurry

bokuto turns skittish when the leads share a kiss

"ooohhh, and now they kiss i love this part." he squeals, his hands cupping his cheeks as his stomach twists and turns in a funny way

and when he gets silence for a reply

he whips his head to you

your head is on top of your knees and you are fast asleep

he didn't bother pausing the movie as he thinks of a way to tend to you

at first he tries to wake you up, whispering words to your ears

but you won't budge

all he could think of is how bad your position is for your body

it doesn't take an expert in human biology to know that you are prone to back aches, stiff neck, and cramped muscle when the morning comes

so he knew he had to do something

he places his arm under the back of your knees and the other supporting your back

thank god you're a heavy sleeper

he carries you to his room bridal style and sets you down on his bed

he pulls the covers up before tucking you in

he peers at you with his hands on his waist, proud of what he did

he sits on the bedside to watch you but soon after he falls asleep

the morning comes and you jolt awake when you realize you have fallen asleep

you scan the room and see a jersey shirt hanging on a chair

it's bokuto's shirt

a loud huff of air catches your attention

you follow the sound and it leads you to a curled up boy sleeping on the floor of his room

tsukishima kei

ah, the same old cliché but we all love this shit you were partners in a project

tho you weren't strangers to each other to begin with

actually you're more than acquaintances but less than a friend

more like a bickering partner

but none of you would admit how much you enjoy each other's company

of course you and tsukki's pride would never

so here you are in his room trying to figure out the task assigned to the both of you

your stomach grumbles

"im hungry." you tell the blonde sitting next to you

"looks like it's your problem." he shrugs

"you are the worst host. feed me, asshole, or im telling your mom."

oh did i mention that your parents are good friends? and you are his mom's favorite? the cliché trope has a twist ;)

your threat seem to work as he pushes himself off the floor to head to the kitchen

"thank you, tsukki." you raise your tone up to intentionally annoy him

"shut up." he snaps at you making you chuckle out loud

tsukki struggles finding a decent snack for you since he never spends time around the kitchen

while you start to feel the works of gravity on your lids

tsukki busts in holding a tray with both hands

"i don't know what food you eat so i picked out a bit of everything. don't you dare whine at me."

confusion flashes on his face when he sees your head down on the shared study table

he places the tray on the bedside table then squats next to you

"what are you-" he leaves his sentence unfinished when he sees you sleeping

he arches an eyebrow up

"you came here to sleep when we have tons to do."

your soft heaves make his lips curl

he looks around his room as if to see if anyone is looking before crossing his legs to sit on the floor

your hair slowly glides down to your face and he notices

he gently push the stray hair off your face then looks away, feeling embarrassed of what he did

"you can't even look out for yourself." he mutters to himself

he fails to fight the urge to look at you again as his orbs shifts back to you

his adams apple bobs up and down as he swallows saliva

he keeps his gaze at you

"you should have told me you're tired, stupid." he whispers

akaashi keiji

the first thing that caught your eyes when you enter the bus is the boy wearing your school's volleyball jacket

the bus is unexpectedly full with the only seat left is the one next to him

akaashi keiji

you share the same class so obviously you know each other

"is this seat taken?" you ask and he shakes his head to a no

he then scoots further to the window side so he can give you more space

every gentle bump of the vehicle on the cracked road lures you into dreamland

like an infant dozing off from the steady rocking of the crib

akaashi sees your bobbing head from his peripheral vision as you let drowsiness take over you

your arms which are embraced around your school bag begin to unravel as you lose consciousness

the boy turns his head to you and notices you wearing a skirt

your sleeping state hinders you from keeping your legs close

and with the amount of strangers getting off and on the bus he became aware of your posture

he removes his jacket before placing it on top of your thighs

making sure you can rest without people taking advantage of you

you murmur

a habit you do in your sleep when you are physically tired

"what?" he asks

you murmur again

"i don't understand, ____." he gives you a gentle tap on your cheek

your murmur gets louder as you shift your body into comfort

letting your head fall on his shoulder

akaashi startles at the sudden contact

"im tired." you mutter in your sleep

"my shoulder is free for you to rest. take your time." he lowers his head near you as he tells you

his free hand holds your head as the bus bounces on the crooked road

he makes sure to keep the jacket secured on your thighs while your head steady on his shoulder

he softly pats your head from time to time when he hears you mumbling incoherent words to yourself

albeit, he finds it endearing

a/n: short... SHORT??? THIS IS NO WAY SHORT i have once again fooled myself (fyi: i write my first a/n before i write the whole thing lol) anyway, why is tsukki so fun to write?? any writers or readers out there with a tsukki obsession too? i can't be the only one here 😩 anyway, thanks for reading! i hope you like this one and as always likes and rbs are very much welcome! that's all,, take care and drink your water bi- :D

Masterlist

[autumn-sweet-fae]

Honest question, does the 'Emmet is Dawns father' rumor ever die down? 'Cause unfortunately I can kinda see how that could be potentially damaging if it keeps going on for too long.

Emmet's not the kind of person who would sway at random rumors normally, but to be at the forefront of a LOT of media bashing and harmful conspiracies for years before Ingo came back could cause him a lot more mental/emotional distress than it normally would've in the past if people just...don't let up.

Maybe I'm too empathetic but to be accused of having neglecting a kid for so long when you've never even had romantic feelings for anyone in your life, never mind having a whole relationship with some random woman just feels...kinda gross ngl.

I can unfortunately see that if the rumor get really persistent Emmet could involuntarily distance and close in on himself. At that point its just an ingrained defense mechanism to the backlash of misguided angry people who want 'justice' when he didn't do anything wrong.

And from Dawn's perspective, it was funny at first, but then people start taking it way too seriously telling her to turn on her 'Dad' and 'make him feel sorry for all of the years of neglect and abandonment' from him. And getting unsolicited comments/messages of 'if he hurts you and your mom again lets us know and we'll get his a**' from people who mean well but of course don't get its just a joke at that point.

I'm just saying its a meme that could get really twisted really easily, and I'm only hoping it doesn't get to that point in the AU 'cause I think Emmet's been through enough.

I can assure you that once it’s clear that Akari is in fact Dawn then the absent father dad theory absolutely dies down to fringe theory/meme statues.

Anyone with two brain cells to rub together would do the basic maths of 29 - 14 = 15. So even if there are still people who genuinely believe Akari to be his daughter, no one could blame a 15 year old, an actual child, from backing out of fatherhood. If he even knew of Akari’s existence, supposedly. 

The only reason the theory ever got any real traction in the first place was because no knew who Akari was or how old she was. She’s about 5’1/155cm so guesses ranged from 11-16 with the daughter theorist leaning more on the younger side.

At some point a kid challenger legit ask Akari her age, cause that’s one of the top five questions kids always ask new people, and Akari, unaware of her actual age, says 16. Because Captain Cyllene guessed her age to be 15 about a year ago, so logically she should be 16 by now right? (She’s currently 14, she just looked very healthy and well fed at 13 compared to a hisuian 13 year old so it was an easy mistake to make)

Once her alleged age of 16 is publicly known all the daughter rumors die down pretty quickly. No one believes Emmet had at kid a 13. Anyone who tries to ask at this time would get a blunt “I am 29.” And that would usually shut them up.

There would be a small bump in the theory’s popularity once Akari’s identity as Dawn is revealed, but by this point it’s largely just a meme. Most folks who still claim it must be true are either grasping at straws or just trying to stir up drama for attention.

Johanna would also absolutely shut those rumors down very quick. First stating that no, Emmet is absolutely not Akari’s father, and then full on scolding anyone who persist in this speculation. Johann had Akari fairly young but not 15 young. I put her at 2 and a half years older then the twins, so to insist that she had her daughter with someone that young when she was nearly 18 is down right damaging and insulting to her reputation. Also any speculation at all into her personal life at that time is none of anyones business and Dawns father is simply not in the picture and that is that.

After that scathing interview with Ms. Johnna the theory is functionally dead, only popping up as memes or in tabloids.

As for how Emmet handled it during its unfolding, he reaches a point where he honestly had to laugh. Because it’s just so outlandish to him and anyone who personally knows him. Like no one who knows him believed for a second that the rumors were true. Drayden shut down anyone who asked him, Iris laughed in the face of an interviewer, and of course Elesa has her own brand of chaos in how she handles anyone trying to push ridiculous rumors. 

Also, in the months following Ingo and Akari’s return, Emmet does honestly come to see Akari as his family. So Emmet being Akari’s dad is seen more as a family joke in the years to come and never becomes a serious issue. Also anyone with eyes would see that Ingo is the one who just radiates the fatherly vides around Akari. Emmet is solidly the Uncle of this relationship.

[chibigaia-art]

ඞ I'm having issues with my credit card again so I'm gonna make a bit of a rant abt the games I'm playing under here just so I can relax for five minutes

MKAY SO I am playing dark souls remastered, it's been an absolute pain in the ass so far and it just won't stop BUT I am also enjoying it a lot,, I am still amazed by the connected level design, it's simply genius! It's also a pain in the ass until you get the lord vessel, I really miss having a hub area like in bloodborne (beloved)

Anyway, after successfully killing lautrec AND ornstein&smough on my very first attempt, I used the fire keeper soul to reinforce my estus because I'm a whole idiot so I'm without a firekeeper at firelink shrine!

On a better note, I managed to open the shortcut to lost izalith earlier and killed all the sun maggots, so I should be safe in the "saving solaire" part of my playthrough???? Not sure if I have to kill bed of chaos first but the titanite demon standing in the way of the shortcut keeps beating me up so idk, maybe I'll farm to level up a bit or go back to the garden and beat sif, even if I really don't want to do that fjfns

NGL I still absolutely loathe the equipment weight mechanic, I still vastly prefer how bloodborne handled that - and also I still haven't learned how to properly parry so I really hope I did manage to save solaire so I have some help against gwyn

And just by the side of playing dark souls, I got Sam and max beyond time and space, and I've been loving that too! Currently finished ep2, I'll start the third one tomorrow, and I really hope we'll get the third remaster soon or else, I'll wither away

[bowiebond]

You adhd/ autism post fascinated me could you explain a bit more why you think Sam is autistic and would you class him as a “high functioning” one

Omg um thank you??? I almost forgot about that post ngl haha

Personally I don’t like to think of autism has high and low functioning; though I do understand why people might use those terms. It helps distinguish (in a more professional sense) who might need a little more urgent help to live comfortably. I like to think of it more as a colour wheel so to speak. Some autistic people can handle more input than others but that doesn’t mean they don’t still struggle. That and high function usually just means the person is better at masking their symptoms haha. Many autistic people actually don’t like the labels low and high functioning, but it really comes down to who you ask.

I have many neurodivergent friends, and my mother works closely with many people who on disability because to their autism. My brother also had adhd himself (and I have my suspicions that I have it too lol). So I’m constantly surrounded by them and I guess I just picked up a vibe from Sam? He reminds me of a lot of my friends who masked their symptoms throughout majority of their childhood and didn’t get diagnosed until older because of it.

Sam much like Steve has a strong moral compass. In fact, he’s very stubborn and blunt, but he covers it up with snark and dry humour much like Bucky; plus half his jokes are more for him than anyone else and I know so many autistic people who do this, it’s hilarious. (I should state though that PTSD and Autism have a surprising amount of overlap, but it’s up for debate whether or not that’s because a lot of autistic children are traumatised due to the world not being designed for them. So what I interrupt as Sam’s autism could simply be symptoms of how his PTSD affects his day to day). It’s no surprise that his special interest would be flying, or even just aircrafts/mechanics in general. He pursues flight majority of his life and when he can’t, he’s off tinkering with Redwing, the boat, constantly fixing things — literally and figuratively. I think he’s also got a bit of Oldest Sibling syndrome so that probably adds to how he acts.

Sam is also shown to have a fairly strict schedule before Steve enters his life. He jogs, he works, with how many radios he had around his house and wine corks, I wouldn’t be surprised if after he was dismissed from flying he picked a new interest in wine to fill the hole, but he kept tabs on his wings. Even after probably a year at least, he didn’t forget about his passion for flying.

Sam is also what I call the “master masker”. Man hides so much inside canonically, that I can completely see him burning out alone and picking himself up after and forcing himself forward regardless. Also him being autistic and black, he would have had to learn the social cues for protection regardless if he understood them. It’s a sad truth for many black kids that they have to grow up quickly to survive, and that especially includes the ones with autism.

I like to think that he allows himself to take the mask off slowly with Bucky when Bucky sees how much it overwhelms Sam though. Slowly but surely, I can see Sam learning to seperate himself from the mask and instead using it as a MASK and NOT an identity.

And just for shits and giggles; that whole “Sam just doesn’t share” comment from Bucky? Absolutely Bucky teasing him for being stubborn about his trinkets and how things go around the house. You don’t wash the dishes in sections like he does? He will complain for hours even if they are all clean anyway 😂 Bucky would pet Sam’s head, going down the side and around the ear, while cuddling and Sam would just go “ew no, don’t stroke it that way wtf, you’re doing it wrong, no I refuse to cuddle”. Straight up kicks the man off the couch and pets himself until it feels right again.

I’m rambling because it’s like 2am and I’m excited to talk about it, but honestly the question got away from me because I have so many headcanons to go along with autistic!Sam but I think the only solid answer I can give is; he’s got some traits in canon, but it’s mostly a vibe. I adore that vibe because it reminds me of many neurodivergent people in my life that I love, so I just smacked the label on him and went “Ah, yes, this tickles that spot in my brain”.

[mariaiscrafting]

ahhhh ty ty ty <3

ok, so I think that what makes Dream act this way (iykyk) is how dreamwastaken became so big so quickly. and by quick I mean fucking lightning speed.

he didn't have enough time to learn enough about cc etiquette, especially in these three aspects: influence, boundaries and fanbase/stans/whatever you call it. I'll try to explain it:

• Influence: Does he know the influence he has? Like, when he hears that he is the myct with the largest fanbase, does he really process that? I remember he talked about not being able to control all of his fanbase and there's bad apples everywhere -- which is true, and that only like 1% of his fanbase breaks his boundaries (that include sending hate for him, harassing, doxing, etc. yk, basic twitter culture lol) but, honey, with your big ass fanbase, 1% is still a lot of people. As a content creator you *have* to be aware of that.

let's take the hbomb situation. First off, as a streamer, it's you that set the mood of the stream. Even if he was only messing around with his pals, even if they did say to do not send hate to hbomb, dt dunking on him created a toxic environment, which caused his fans being toxic towards hbomb and you know what happens next. Hell, when this happened, I was watching Tapl and he was watching them and he was crying laughing over them screaming bc they were just. so loud and so aggressive that it was kinda ??? Sirs, this is literally a Minecraft Stream lmaooo

my point is, that was not the road that dreamwastaken, 21M fans, should've taken. he don't condone his fans actions but he knows his fans are diehard and will always be on his side, he should be more careful before stating negative opinions, especially if its towards another person.

• Boundaries and Fanbase: He posted a list of his boundaries a while ago, idk if you know or seen it (btw please george copy your bestie for the love of god <3) but I'm not talking about those boundaries, I'm talking about the basic boundaries between cc and viewer. boundaries that, in my opinion, should exist between cc and viewer. I get that Dream is an open person, an oversharing type of open person if I may add, but I think he should take a step back regardless. When I heard that he was taking a time from twitter, I genuinely got so glad, not because he couldn't start any drama then, but because it would do so so good for his mental health. I'm not even that fond of him, it's just that for me, any cc taking a break or outright leaving twitter is a win for me. I know how RSD is hard to deal and honestly letting shit out it's better but dream you have dt you have bbh so please don't make things worse online 😭 I know how good can be to feel validation from millions of people but. it's not a good idea, especially in the state that his fanbase is on rn (this topic is kinda sensitive to talk abt for me bc people be outright ableist and hide it as criticism like. say that shit's not helping his reputation and whatever without acting like he's fucking. manipulating his fanbase for being affected by his rsd💀 or, on the other hand, don't say that hes just being adhd🤪 when he's just being an asshole like damn that's a Him thing bro lol)

(omg it's so big I'm so sorry and theres a part two I'm so sorry tumblr user messed-up-gal ToT) - morango 1/2

pt. 2:

Dream is the proof that the people who loves you can be your downfall. istg. Have you noticed that every drama that Dream enters, people usually get more mad abt how his fanbase reacts (85% they'll react in a bad way) than Dream himself? it's not always, but its definitely more likely. I'm not saying Dream is saint, he Is petty and his ego does him dirty and made him choke multiple times before,, But! i dont think hes a bad guy. he's literally just a dude. ok, he's a 21yr old white gamer man that has a trumpie past (maybe?? idk. I think hes cured now ig lol) so he's bound to do some shitty things but he still tries to get better and hopefully he'll mature. 21 is old enough but it's still so young, yk? I kind of lost my mind during the end and my eyes are literally begging to be closed so tl;dr: Its gonna be hard for him to become a better cc bc his fans don't let him be criticized (by infantilizing his adhd symptoms or the mob mentality as soon as someone says anything abt him), the honest criticism get lost between lies from antis that don't know shit, he still has a lot of growing up to do and overall he became famous too fast and he needs to learn things even faster bc as soon as there's not a single one dream hater on sight they'll turn their back and attack him instead lmao I hate twitter i definitely have more to say but I'm tired and my memory is shit. just-- hate dream if you want, love dream if you want, nobody is obligated to have an opinion but I wanted to express mine. have a lovely day! -morango 2/2

Aight, there's a lot to unpack here, so Imma try to only go into the points I have something to add to (here's what I talk about in each paragraph, if you want to jump to a specific point):

Speed of Dream's rise to fame

The "bad apples" in the Dream fanbase

Post-MCC HBomb stream

Not condoning versus actually condemning his fans

Manipulation & RSD

Criticism of Dream, his fanbase, and his brand

The “just a dude” argument, flipped

First, I agree that one of the many factors that has resulted in the current image Dream has set up for himself, the way his fanbase functions, the ways people hate on him, and the way the Dream brand functions, is the speed of his rise to fame. It's unique, and there are probably a hundred social/psychological angles that could be used to examine the exact effects of that speed upon all of these facets of the Dream Name; did rapid fame beget the rapid rise of unrighteous hatred, did those waves of hatred then instigate the rise of a surprisingly overdefensive fanbase, did that rapid fame get to his head and/or result in an inability to appropriately handle all the after-effects of rapid fame, etc.? That point you bring up, about how the speed of his rise to fame requires him to learn even more quickly, is so interesting to me. I think that maybe Dream expected to get pretty famous pretty quickly, hence the preparedness in regards to some mechanics of influencer fame- merchandise, business-building, networking, knowing how to manage his fanbase to best benefit him. But I don't think he expected to get this famous this quickly. This is all speculation of course, as are this entire post and your ask, but I think that he just couldn't anticipate having to learn how to handle enmasse controversy, waves of antis, or every Youtuber speculating/knowing about him; and yeah, that results in him having to learn all of these things very quickly, lest he allow his whole brand and fandom to fall apart.

Second, I disagree with the frequent argument that Dream's fanbase is only marginally toxic. Personally, I think that the circumstances of Dream's fame, his personality and management of his fanbase, and his brand of content have resulted in the very specific kind of stan that Dream stans are. I don't think this is simply a case of "all fandoms have a small percentage of assholes who take it too far;" rather, the nature of the community itself breeds the kind of mentality of "an asshole who takes it too far." I only even know this because I was a Dream fan (kinda a stan, I'm ngl). At one time, I watched every single Dreamwastaken & Dream Team video multiple times; I listened to the Manhunts on repeat, as though they were podcasts; I followed mostly smiletwt and dttwt accounts on mcyttwt; I had upwards of 10 tabs for AO3 DNF fics open on my phone at a time; I watched DNF and Dream Team Being A Family-esque compilations on repeat; I watched every George and Sapnap alt stream I possibly could; I went out of my way to defend Dream against Redditors and Twitter antis regarding the cheating scandal. For the latter half of 2020, and a couple months of 2021, I lived and breathed this part of the fandom; so when I say that Dream stans are a whole other breed than any other kind of mcyttwt stan, I say that because I used to be like that, too. I usually use parasocial very loosely or ironically, but Dream stans are genuinely one of the most parasocial fanbases I have ever seen or been a part of. The level of investment Dream stans have in this man's life, the lengths they will go to to defend him, the amount of psychonalysis and digging they do on his life and character, the amount of emotion he can evoke in them- it's taken to another level, man. This isn't just characteristic of a fraction of his fanbase; this is what the fanbase is like as a whole.

Third, I partially disagree with your take on the HBomb thing, but not in the way one might think? I actually empathize with the way they reacted much more than I thought I would, simply because I suspect I have RSD (also suspect I have ADHD, have for several months now) and I can see myself getting insanely frustrated because of something like that. Like yeah, it was "just a MC stream" or "just an MC game," but that's kinda disregarding the fact that something that might seem like "just a [insert inconsequential thing]" to a rational mind might have a major emotional consequence/take a major emotional toll on someone with RSD, or really anyone who gets easily impatient/angry about video games (Sapnap reminds me of many of my friends, in that way). The issues I, personally, had with the way they handled the HBomb situation is that these are simply explanations and reasons for my empathy; they are not excuses. I have no excuse when I get irrationally angry about something inconsequential in my own life, for a couple of reasons. One, because I am an adult and I need to learn how to handle my reactions and manage my own anger. Two, because as someone with many mental problems, it is my responsibility to learn coping mechanisms to ensure my own emotional stability and livelihood; this includes learning whatever I need to handle RSD- whether that be isolating myself from others when I know I will become violently/passionately angry about something, creating and sustaining a support system that can get me through bouts of extreme emotion, finding healthy emotional outlets for my negative emotions that won't harm myself or others, or a combination thereof. I don't think what they said about HBomb post-MCC was an irreversibly horrible thing, or anything. I think there were errors committed by two men who should be fully capable of foreseeing and preventing those errors, but I don't unconditionally hate Dream or Sapnap for the post-MCC stream or comments. I just wish they had made amends quickly, publicly, and sufficiently, because the greatest consequences from the whole thing weren't even from those two criticizing HBomb themselves; they were from the waves of backlash because of their immense influence on the MCYT fandom, which could've been prevented, if they had acted maturedly and responsibly after the stream.

Fourth, you’re right, that he doesn’t seem to condone his fans’ behavior. I detest the frequent anti argument that one of the reasons Dream should be criticized is because he explicitly uses his fanbase to attack others, or something of the sort. Personally, I think he created his fanbase in a very specific way and interacts with them in such a way so as to benefit him as much as possible, yes, but he never actually tells his fanbase to go and yell at or harrass anyone. Still, there is a significant difference between not condoning something and condemning something. It might seem unfair, and it might be annoying of me to say this, but I truly think that someone with this large a fanbase, especially one as overzealous as Dream’s, needs to be condemned every single time it goes on some kind of rampage/harrassment campaign. Either that, or Dream needs to make a definitive, permanent statement against any kind of harrassment of others on his behalf. I know he’ll occassionally make the odd tweet or serious stream addressing something his fanbase did, but one of the many reasons his fanbase keeps doing the same damn thing is because he’s so lukewarm and spotty about this condemnation. A fanbase like his needs to be given explicit guidance and boundaries for the numerous things they do in his defense- harrassing/doxing antis, harrassing people who criticize him who aren’t antis (respectful criticism, other CCs, other MCYT stans, etc.), harrassing the people he critcizes (i.e., HBomb), speculating about his personal life (his relationship with his gf, his mental health/ADHD, his romantic life, his childhood, etc.), and speculating about his relationships with his friends and colleagues.  My personal ideology is that, if you have significant influence over someone or a group of people, you are at least somewhat responsible for the things those people do or don’t do, if it at all relates back to you. I’m so fucking tired of the argument that CCs aren’t responsible for what their fans do. Obviously they aren’t responsible for every single one of their fans, and obviously they can’t fully control their fans at the end of the day. But I think there are certain things that reach such a level of extremity that does make those CCs responsible. This can be measured by either scale or intensity; that is to say, if a CC’s fanbase does things on an extremely large scale, or one person from/a fraction of the fanbase does something really extreme, then the CC is made all the more responsible. Another CC I’ve always had trouble discussing with other people on this subject is Pewdiepie, in particular, about the extremists in his fanbase. Because the things a small handful of his fans have done in reference to him and/or in his name were so fucking extreme, I thought Pewdiepie had to take at least some responsibilty. Along a similar vein, because the things Dream’s general fanbase does are so widespread and on such a massive scale, Dream has to take at least some responsibility.

Fifth, okay. Hmmm. I want to tackle this point you made about the ableism he faces in some criticism of him carefully and with empathy, but not coddling. One, I do think a lot of the criticism he receives for the ways he handles criticism (post-cheating Tweets, reactions to John Swan, post-MCC HBomb stream, etc.), disregard his RSD and can be oftentimes ableist. I’ve actually encountered people irl who criticize this aspect of Dream’s character, and have had to explain to them their disregard for how ADHD/RSD affect neurodivergent people’s reactions to criticism. But - and this is a big, and very controversial but - I think mentally ill/disordered people can 100% leverage their mental illness/disorders for the sake of manipulation. This is actually something I’ve learned from a psychiatrist, regarding the ways people I know and I handle our anxiety and depression. This manipulation can be unwitting or intentional, but it is entirely possible, and the possibility shouldn’t be entirely dismissed as ableist. Living with a mental illness or disorder that others know about/that you are very public about puts you in an interesting position to receive frequent sympathy, empathy, and/or pity. I’m not saying that empathy for Dream having ADHD/RSD is entirely unjustified; on the contrary, I have frequently expressed how I can relate to his ADHD symptoms and have defended him for expressing those symptoms, both on mcytblr and in real life. I am saying that Dream fans tend to use his ADHD as a kind of shield for a lot of criticism levied against him, including the supposition that he could be manipulating his fanbase to defend him because of his public expressions of RSD. So yes, my theory is that Dream knows how to levy every aspect of his life for his personal gain and for the growth of his brand, and that includes his ADHD. I think he has courage for his openess about his ADHD, I think his openness has contributed to the rise in awareness of mental health and empathy for neurodivergent people within Gen Z, and I think at least some of his expressions of RSD publicly/online weren’t intentionally made public. All that being said, I also think he has to know just how much his fanbase cares about defending him for his ADHD, and I think he has to know that some of the things he does related to his neurodivergence endear him to his audience, in a coddling, baby-ing, mildly ableist sorta way.  Maybe this is all incredibly presumptuous of me. Of course, I can never know the real intentions behind any Dream video, Tweet, or stream. Maybe I’m just projecting, because I can see myself doing just this, if I had the maturity I had circa 2018-2019. Idfk know, man.

Sixth, I actually agree with you here, people probably do get more mad at his fanbase than him. Dream puts out content pretty seldomly, considering the frequency of content output for other Youtubers/streamers in his field/at his brand size. And yet, he has received masses of criticism. Considering that the things Dream himself does/says do not entirely correlate with the amount of criticism he receives, I think it’s a logical assumption that a lot of that criticism actually goes back to the size of his presence online, rather than the man himself. That is to say, because of the massive community he’s amassed, the exponential growth of his fanbase, their presence on every single social media site and in virtually every single Internet space/fandom, and the size of his metaphysical presence in his fields, Dream is much bigger than the man himself, so the criticism he receives will, at least in part, be a direct or indirect result of all these other aspects of the Dream brand.  Something I don’t think many Dream fans/stans, or even most MCYT fans in general, understand, is that Dream isn’t just “one guy” in the eyes of the Internet- at least, not anymore. He hasn’t been for nearly a year. Like Pewdiepie, Mr. Beast, and other CCs who have amassed similar levels of fame and wealth via Internet content creation, Dream is a brand now, and most people will treat him as such. He isn’t just some uwu soft boy playing Minecraft anymore. He is on a whole other level from any other MCYT in his friend circle or colleague interaction bubble. His words will never again live in a vaccum or private bubble, his friend circle will never again be under anything less than intense scrutiny, his past actions will never again be simple mistakes or silly errors, his words will never again be casual tweets or streams for laughs among a couple thousand followers. Dream’s name represents something much bigger than just the one man. As such, all aspects of his brand, including his fanbase, will tie back to him and, ultimately, to any general criticism of him.

I’m not saying I like any of this, and I actually think the evolution of influencers from people to a marketable brand with similar mechanisms, responsibilities, and liabilities as a corporation is some kind of late capitalism nightmare fuel; I’m just stating my own observations and theories as to why so much anti-Dream criticism seems to be directed at his fanbase, rather than him.

Seventh, he’s just a guy, you’re right, but I think a lot of the antis on Tumblr understand this more than you know. As I’ve seen it, the sentiment among much of the “DSMP stans DNI” crowd seems to be that of “Dream/other MCYTs are such ‘bad’ people, so why do their fans stick to these mediocre, racist men, when there are so many better people to watch/better content to consume?” We know this argument is flawed for many of the obvious reasons - the conflation of all MCYTs’ actions regardless of individual identity, the equating of a CC’s fanbase’s morality to that of the CC they enjoy watching, the exxageration of any error MCYT CCs have committed as bigotry/racism, the fundamental misunderstanding and misinformation that led antis to believe this exxageration of the facts, etc. But I want to focus on the general, underlying sentiment of, “why not watch someone better, when your creator is problematic?” Sometimes, I ask this of Dream stans. Yes, being mildly ignorant, getting involved in the scandals Dream has, and being a right-leaning/libertarian centrist in the recent past all seem like harmless things, all things considered. One could say Dream isn’t nearly as bad as many antis who are misinformed seem to believe, and that there are much worse CCs Dream stans could be watching and creating fan content for. But I think what Tumblr antis wonder is, aren’t there also much better MCYTs/CCs people could be watching and stanning? Because he’s just some guy, right? Is his content truly so exceptional or is he really so exceptional a person, that people have to stick by him, despite the things that spike up regarding his current or past actions? I think that’s what made me finally decide to stop watching Dream. I realized he was just Some Guy. The Dream Team was a comforting dynamic to indulge in, DNF was a cute ship to read and speculate about, and Manhunts were fun videos to watch; however, once the Reddit posts came out and I read them in-depth, the cost-benefit analysis tipped over to the “not worth it” side for me. I realized Dream’s content, while fun and comforting, was not entirely unique, and wasn’t worth sticking around for, given what I then knew about his past political leanings. If he is just Some Guy, then there are a hundred more like him out there. There a hundred more ships, a hundred more found family dynamics, a hundred more entertaining and skilled Minecraft players. So while I agree with you on the point of people being allowed to love him regardless because he is just a guy, at the end of the day, I think that, if we are to believe that sentiment or use that argument in such a manner, we should also understand the flip side- that, if he is just some guy, why is it worth sticking around? To that I say, maybe because people just enjoy the simple things they enjoy.

Anyways, I wholly agree with your tl;dr. Thanks for that insanely long ask, this was a fun thing to keep me occupied while I’ve been at work, facilitating Zoom sessions this whole morning.

[moons-and-stars-and-shit]

It worked! Sorry to bug you with a message! But I'd like to request a cake now!

So, about me. I have an actual name but I don't think I've heard it in months😃, instead I have a bunch of nicknames! (Rion, ri, oreo, onion, o, etc), I'm actually nb so I chose that name, however I 100% consider naming myself Arson💀My pronouns are they/them and I'm about 5'5, I have short, fluffy brown hair that I usually dye the front blue. I'm Asian hispanic, but I really don't look like either- my favorite foods are either really spicy and salty or sweet. Not the overwhelming chemical sweet tho, like a natural sweet flavor. My personality type is infp, and ig when I first meet people I can be shy (that's an understatement, I was mute for the first week of school🕳🏃‍♂️) but once I get to know people I can be pretty chaotic (once again, arson). I'm not a 100% demon spawn though, I don't really like making scenes in public and I probably will cry if I do- but I still have fun lol. I'm also the person who copes with severe mental health issues using humor, to an alarming degree 😔 I'm the therapist friend when really I'm the one who needs therapy. I also have a social battery that can die at random times, so I really like/need friends who can handle random mood changes of me going from energetic to silent in seconds. Academically, I'm really book smart, I'm a tutor, but my grades don't reflect it. I tend to procrastinate a lot and avoid studying, usually I catch myself last minute or trust memory on tests, but every now and then there's something that tanks my grades. I'm not very athletic, but I still try to play sports. I enjoy the feeling when I do something right, but the rest of the time I usually beat myself up for messing up.

And now just random facts 😃👍

My favorite color is yellow, not the bright eye sore shade that makes you want to throw up, but the nice softer, light shade. And I like anything that comes with that color! (Sunflowers, flowy sundresses and flip flops, summer activities, burning concrete, warm rain, etc). Nobody knows my music taste, it changes weekly, however I usually come back to mitski/cavetown or summer themed songs a lot! I enjoy playing music, but I have the curse of being a fast learner so that usually leads to be being bored and learning a new instrument at any given chance. And my birthday is a weird date that fucks with zodiacs so I can be considered either a leo or cancer, my personality changes a bunch, so take your pick lol. (Though emotionally I tend to be cancerous, I just express it and show it in a way a leo would) And someday I wanna be a long term traveler, or a florist. Just a job that makes me happy :). And I guess if I had to classify my aesthetic it would be bloomcore or soft grunge. I like wearing big sweaters and if I could I would wear a bunch of butterfly clips in my hair and wear mom jeans. (I would also wear man crushers, I mean, platforms if I was confident)

Aaaannnnd that was really long sorry!

To sum up, I'm just a bipolar bitch with depression and anxiety 👍

Thanks a bunch for just taking the time to read this!

@oririon

Romantic Matchup

Bokuto Koutarou

How Y’all Met

IERJNDJS

I’m getting a classic summer love vibe from this matchup 👀

Ok so I just Hc that Bokuto LOVES flowers

So he would always just go to the local flower shop to look at them

Pls hes to precious I cant-

But anyways you we’re working a summer job at the flower shop

And you grew fond of our little owl boy

You would always talk to him whenever he visited

He just made your job that much more enjoyable :)

So one day you stopped him right before he left and told him he could pick a bouquet of flowers if he wanted

He BEAMED at you and picked a bouquet of flowers he always looked at whenever he came

But what shocked you was instead of walking out with them

He gave them to you!

He then went on talking about how he really liked you but didn’t know how to tell you

At this point he was just rambling

So you laughed and asked him if he would like to go to the ocean with you after your shift

He agreed and you swear you saw stars in his eyes

After your shift you met up with Bokuto and went to the beach

You guys literally spent ALL day there!

And even some of the night 👀

Being the gentleman he is offered to walk you home

And when you two got to your house he asked you to be his s/o

What They Love About You

Ok starting off with a strange one

He loves the fact that your favorite color is yellow 💛

He just thinks it fits you so well 😊

He loves that you have to ability to turn your trauma into humor

Now I’m ngl...

Ye found it extremely concerning at first 🥲

But once you explained it was like a coping mechanism for you

He was super supportive!

AAAAAAAA

He LOVES your aesthetic!

He thinks it’s so cute

And once again he thinks it fits you 👀

He appreciates the fact that your smart

If he doesn’t understand something in class

He’ll just go to you!

And honesty going over the material with him has helped your understanding as well 👀

Bokuto s grades:📈

Your grades: 📈

Favorite Things To Do Together

Oml he loves summers with you

Any summer activity

Beaches

Ice cream

Flower meadows 👀

Summer night drives

The whole shtick

But when it’s not summer

He loves doing classic seasonal activities

Examples:

Fall - Jumping in leaf piles, coffee dates, preparing for Halloween, etc

Winter - Snowball fights/Making Snowmen, Christmas movie marathons, hot cocoa/ baking, etc

Spring - Dancing in the rain, picnics, gardening etc

It’s a vibe year round with bf Bokuto

Random Hc

His favorite season is summer

And his second is winter

Ik...polar opposites

Oof

He TOTALLY gets your mood swings

Although they may not be the same as his

He still understands them and respects them

Every year on your anniversary he buys you the exact same bouquet he gave you at the flower shop

Speaking of the flower shop 👀

He got a job there with you the following summer

So you guys basically spent most of your days together

Bokuto is REALLY bad at dark humor

But for some reason he still tries 😭

It’s either TOO dark

Or not dark at all 💀

Astrology

(We’re gonna go with your cancer zodiac 😂)

When Cancer and Virgo make a love match, a strong, down-to-earth relationship with staying power is the happy result.

This is a relationship with great potential to get better and better over the passing years.

Both Cancer and Virgo are goal-oriented and disciplined.

They are sincere and devoted to one another and share a strong sense of purpose.

No lightweight love here: These two were not really built for flings!

Cancer and Virgo deeply admire one another: Virgo respects Cancer’s quiet strength and dedication while Cancer appreciates Virgo’s keen adaptability and intelligence.

These lovers may get off to a slow start, but over time, bonds will only grow stronger.

The Cancer-Virgo love match prides itself on common sense and strong principles over fluff and inconsequential or fleeting connections.

They enjoy the material comforts of life, but they will only feel good about their bounty if it has come as a result of honest hard work.

There could be tiffs if Virgo becomes too critical for Cancer’s easily bruised feelings; Cancer needs to understand that it’s just Virgo’s nature to point out what they observe, that it’s not a personal attack.

A Virgo may bristle at their Cancer mate’s stubborn streak, but it’s a trait that a patient and understanding love partner like Virgo could come to appreciate.

Also, Virgo’s urge to serve suits Cancer’s affectionate, nurturing nature well.

Their dedication to working toward the same goals.

Both partners in this love match enjoy a stable home life and nice things, and Virgo truly enjoys helping Cancer along the way to achieving their goals.

Their shared goals and desires make theirs a highly compatible love match.

Overall Aesthetic

Bloomcore 🌸

Bloom - Jesse

This Side of Paradise - Coyote Theory

Flaming Hot Cheetos - Claire

Mystery of Love - Sufjan Stevens

[potatopossums]

Insecurity and Boundaries: A Necessary Coexistence

Content Warning:

This post includes discussions / mentions of:

bodily insecurities, explicitly including dysmorphia, dysphoria, and implicitly including but not limited to eating disorders, weight

childhood trauma including shame, humiliation, fear

coping mechanisms, both healthy and unhealthy, including anxious avoidance, projection, masking, reflection

mentioned references to all of the above through lenses of morality, cis white feminism and sexualized body positivity

adhd

—

Author's Note:

Written through the lens of adhd, anxiety, depression, queerness, transness, nonbinaryness, aromanticism, alterous attraction, and as always, questioning.

—

Ngl I've had the opportunity to date/"be with" (in whatever capacity) several quite attractive ppl, and the last couple have been great examples of something that actually kind of triggers me / turns me off.

I didn't really know what to make of it then, and I felt bad about it then too because I thought I was just being judgy. Not saying some of that isn't potentially still there, but i think i understand better now.

It honestly kind of scares me when I have the opportunity to have close relationships with people with bodily dysphoria/dysmorphia or strong insecurities. My brain has a really bad habit of being reflective when I'm feeling vulnerable. I just match people. It's a way of masking while relating to people. It's a defense mechanism. But it feels quite real in the moment and i often don't realize it's happening until it has already happened.

But as a nonbinary person who gets misgendered a lot at work, I've spent a lot of time now very acutely aware of my own body (as if i wasn't already). I don't tend to hate my body in a vacuum. I actually enjoy my body. I like how it looks in certain clothes; I like how I can trick the eye and make it look another way with other clothes, and then surprise, it's a different body underneath! I like how my body feels when i masturbate, i like how my body feels in the warm sun, i like how my body feels when i self-soothe. Even when I'm in pain, in some of those moment, i like that my body exists because I know something is happening inside me, something systematic and programmed, something beyond me that does it's evolutionary purpose, no matter how flawed. I've always had a curiosity about bodies in general (gender and sex completely aside). So when i say i love my body, i mean that.

Does it mean i don't struggle with dysphoria? Of course i struggle. And it makes me feel like shit.

Sure, I've got that Cis White Feminist Self-Loathing Intervention Voice in my head that says "all bodies are beautiful" (and she really means all women are beautiful but I'll co-opt her lines to fit my agenda). That voice is problematic because like. I like being beautiful, but why do I want to be beautiful, and what happens when I'm not beautiful? How do I guage whether I'm beautiful at any given moment? Isn't that largely subjective even with an overarching cultural & social standard? When I feel "ugly" — my cowlicks sticking up, teeth unbrushed, i feel too short, i feel i look too childish, I'm afraid my boobs are showing in a way i don't want to be seen, etc. — who's to say that someone else doesn't find some of those things attractive? So attractiveness is a poor method of confidence, despite how influential it still is on my brain and personality. That influence is fear based.

All that in mind, when I hear other people struggling with their bodies, especially in a Trans/Non-Binary/Dysphoric way, it really scares me. I mean, any bodily struggles scare me because I have my own insecurities to deal with. And when I'm in that state of really wanting to keep a connection because abandonment trauma + adhd, my vulnerable brain says that in order to impress someone, I must reflect relatably. So that has me digging back into my bodily insecurities. And I explore them as if I should be feeling them.

Let me unpack that. I'm avoidant with my anxieties. I don't talk about them, and I don't think about them much if I can help it, because when I think about them, that result can be largely painful, dramatic, and too emotionally volatile for me to handle. I always want to look put together, I want to feel secure enough to not need to ask for help, because those few times it went badly when I asked for help still stick with me (regardless of how long ago those moments were, and regardless of how many good times I've had where received actual help since). I remember the embarrassment and humiliation, the shame, the fear, the guilt. I remember wanting to make myself smaller, and how crushing that felt to do. I remember how little I understood of these wild and complex emotions, and all I knew was that I felt violated and disgusting. And I turned that inward. Because I had no external support.

So me saying that I explore my anxieties "as if I should be feeling them" is multi-pronged. It's Cis White Feminist Body Positivity, it's all those family members who modeled and normalized self-hatred for me from a young age, it's bodily dysphoria/dysmorphia at being misgendered, it's me trying to convince myself that my body truly is okay and that my negative inner voice doesn't know what it's talking about due to it's poor influences, and it's me ultimately not being able to reconcile all that on my own (or fast enough, thanks adhd) and resorting to anxious avoidance of my insecurities as if that solves them.

And then, when I hear someone I might kind of want to be intimate with start to talk about their insecurities, my brain panics. It says, "If you go in there, you will lose it. You will fall into the same hole they're in. You will have to suffer just as much for them, and for yourself. You will lose all your energy and you will start to hate yourself. They will treat your body the way they treat their body. You will be made to hate yourself."

And even though I know plenty of people with dysphoria/dysmorphia and other bodily struggles absolutely won't do those sorts of things, I also know that projection is a thing. And considering how poor I am at boundaries and how I tend to adopt unhealthy relationship dynamics due to my avoidance, I know that it would just start a bad cycle for me. Even with all the empathy and understanding in the world, I simply cannot root myself in a situation that would cause me to loathe myself.

And again, in case this wasn't clear: this is absolutely not a statement about people with bodily confidence issues as a whole. I am not trying to villainize or demonize or moralize their experiences. That is markedly the opposite of what I intend here.

But it took a long time for me to get to this point in my self-awareness. And i wanted to share it because i want other people to be able to reach an understanding of themselves too, whatever that understanding might entail. Yeah, it's a little cliche, but our projections and fears about others can have a lot to do with our fears about ourselves. It's important to be self-aware, even if that doesn't immediately solve the problem(s).

I tend to really like confident people because of this. That attraction has it's own roots in confidence issues, and its own potential flaws. And until I can change my own avoidant anxiety, I'm going to find new ways to project my avoidance and shame onto others, regardless of whether they are confident or unconfident, dysphoric or not.

But, just because I'm projecting doesn't mean that I'm unworthy of boundaries. Even if my behaviors are unhealthy, even if I do need to work to change those things (and even though I actively want to change those things), it is still healthy for me to know my limits. It's healthy to know what triggers me. It's good for me to realize these things and step back, even if the relationship I'm leaving/not starting is arguably "good." (And that assumption is a whole other topic for another post.)

So, along with whatever other epiphanies you might have received from this read, here's my major takeaway that I want to leave you with:

Your boundaries are okay. Even if they're based in anxiety, even if they're based in unhealthy coping mechanisms, even if you want to change your unhealthy behaviors/mindset. Your boundaries do not need to pass any social justice or morality tests in order to be valid. Your boundaries do not have to "make you grow." Your boundaries are not bad, even if you feel like they keep you from being the best version of yourself.

The only way you can actually grow is if you respect yourself enough to respect and enforce your boundaries. The only way you can feel comfortable and happy and healthy is if you respect your boundaries.

So please do that for yourself. Please respect your boundaries. I know it's very hard, especially for people-pleasers. I know it's hard for you avoidant types. I know it's hard for those of us who mask and reflect.

But please, just a little bit at a time, respect yourself. Even if that means disappointing or hurting others with a "no."

And please, please, please surround yourself with people who respect your boundaries and stand up for you. Of all the work I've tried to do alone, nothing compares to the effectiveness and growth I've experienced when I've been around radically affirming people — people who fought for my right to say no; people who defended my boundaries no matter what they entailed; people who stood up for my pronouns at work; people who validated my life experiences, labels, queerness, and questioning. It can be difficult to find people like that in real life, but please stay in the company of people who do that for you. Even if they're online. Stay near people who model self-respect for you. They will help you practice how to treat yourself.

—