#OH MY GOD THERE ARE CHERRY BLOSSOMS IN THE NEW UPDATE. OH MY GOD. MAYBE ILL DO IT WHEN THATS RELEASED

[ghost--core]

suddenly filled with the intense need to build belvedere

[yourmidnightlover]

three, four squeezes

Summary- spencer finds watches you take what he thought was your last breath. turns out they weren't, but you're now in a coma. 

TW: coma, fem!reader, spencer pining, angst/fluff ig?, blood, gunshot

WC- 5,681

masterlist

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guilt.

regret.

pain.

fear.

spencer couldn't stop fiddling between as he rode with you in the back of the ambulance.

the guilt he felt as he realized that everything was his doing, his fault. if he wouldn't have froze and if he would've told you how he felt neither of you would be in this position.

the regret he had of never telling you how he felt. he never got to hold you as more than best friends and kiss you like he's wanted to so, so, so many times.

the pain of seeing you in so much pain. and the fear that worsened when you accepted the fact that you would die in his arms

the fear that the last time he held you was when you confessed your darkest secret to him. you never got to hear him tell you how much he truly loved you.

he took your much smaller hand in both of his and pressed it close to his chest, right on top of his heart as if he was trying to tell you what his heart had tried to make him.

he froze.

he shouldn't have froze.

he should've held you and told you how much he loved you. how much he wanted you. how much he's always wanted you.

he should've kissed you and never let you out of his sight. because maybe, just maybe, if he hadn't let you go then you would have never gotten hurt.

he was the reason you were dying.

he was lost in thought when the holter monitor held a steady, long beep. you had flatlined.

-

you felt the warmth radiating over your skin as you shifted in your position to sit up. you took in your surroundings.

you were in an endless pasture, filled with tall grass that would reach your knees if you had stood up. the sky was perfect, clear, baby blue color that you haven't seen in a while. you were laying on a red blanket with a picnic basket by your side.

the smell of fresh flowers and fresh grass filled your nose. the calming scent bringing you the peace that radiated around you as you observed further into this place.

you had on a flowy, pastel purple sun dress and a pair of white flats on. you turned your head to the side, only to notice you weren't alone.

"spencer!" you cheered excitedly as you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him into your touch. "you're here," you breathed out.

"i am here," you felt the vibrations of his chuckle. "but you shouldn't be here."

you pulled back and looked at him confused. "wh-why not?"

"because," he pushed a strand of hair out of your face as he gazed into your eyes. "you need to go back, sweetheart."

a rush of memories flooded your brain.

you confessed your past, your regret, your love.

he didn't love you back.

you were shot.

"i... i don't want to go back," you admitted with furrowed brows. "i want to stay here. with you."

he looked at you with what seemed to be pity. he scooted closer to you and wrapped his arm around you to pull you closer to his body.

"you can be with me back there. you know that," he said as he rested his chin on the top of your head.

"no, i won't. not-" you took a deep breath, "not like this."

"but this isn't even real. i'm just a figment of your imagination. you're disassociating with your body, and i'm your safe place," he said nonchalantly, as if hearing that didn't break your heart even more.

"but i want to be with you, spence. i've ruined everything out there. you don't want me," you spilled, letting a tear slip past your eye and down your cheek.

"i will always want you, y/n. always," he assured you as he pressed a kiss to your hairline.

"how do you know?" you looked up at him with pleading eyes.

"because i'm a genius. remember, sweetheart?" he chuckled.

"promise me?" you said as you turned around and held his hand, squeezing it in anticipation.

"i promise. go back, y/n. you need to go back." he repeated.

"not yet. just a little longer with you, please. just a little longer with you," you pleaded.

-

spencer had to let go of your hand so the doctors could get the defibrillator. he began shaking before he told himself to be strong. he had to be strong for you.

"please don't leave me..." he prayed for the first time in a while to a god he wasn't even sure he believed in. "don't die on me."

one of the paramedics ripped your shirt open so they could begin to start the chest compressions. spencer hated seeing you so helpless, lifeless, hopeless.

"charge to 260!" one of the doctors yelled before yelling clear and connecting it to your skin.

nothing.

"charge to 350!" she pressed it to your chest and abdomen one more time.

suddenly the monitor began beeping steadily again. you were alive. not okay, but you were breathing.

you had a heartbeat again.

you weren't leaving him yet.

"oh thank god!" he exclaimed as he watched the paramedics leave your side, allowing him to fill their void. he took hold of your hand once again and pressed his lips to it as he watched the paramedic on the other side of you monitoring everything going on with your status.

"thank you, y/n. thank you so much," he placed another kiss on your knuckles as he used his to wipe his tears away.

when you had made it to the hospital he decided to finally call morgan and garcia. he would let them know what happened, minus the whole love confession part, and ask them to alert the rest of the team.

morgan replied in asking if she was okay, and asked for the details later when he got there. garcia was just rushing to get out of her apartment and to the hospital to check on her 'little cherry blossom.'

garcia got there first no doubt breaking a few speed limits in the process, but he didn't mind because now he wouldn't be alone with his own mind. she engulfed spencer in her arms and let him sob it out as she did the same. she didn't ask what happened, she knew he would tell her when he was ready.

morgan took a bit longer, surprisingly. although, in his defense, he did live on the other side of town. upon arrival, he just placed a firm hand on spencer's shoulder and sat beside him in a seat, silently providing his own comfort.

jj was next to arrive. she was already in tears when garcia had called her to make her aware of the news. she gave spencer a tight hug before sitting beside garcia.

when emily got there she raced to jj to ask if they had any information yet, they didn't. she checked on spencer, making sure he wasn't losing his mind completely. she finally settled down and sat beside jj, placing a comforting hand on top of hers.

rossi and hotch arrived at the same time, they were both working late, finishing a few extra case files. they went around comforting the rest of the team, and made sure to pay extra attention to spencer.

everyone knew how close the two of you were. you were like bonnie and clyde, but rather you both solved crime instead of ensuing it. and they knew how much it pained him to see her in pain. even on cases when she would get wounded, spencer would pay the utmost care and attention to you.

spencer didn't say a word. he didn't say what happened. nobody asked. they sat in silence, with almost constant tears from the fear of losing you, waiting for answers to how you were doing.

after a few more hours, jj decided to ask the doctor yet again on any updates on your condition. she quietly got up after letting go of emily's hand and walked over to the front desk.

"ma'am," jj asked the receptionist, "is there any update on y/n y/l/n and her surgery. it's been a few hours now and we're getting wo-"

"y/n y/l/n?" a doctor came into the waiting room holding a clipboard, waiting for someone to claim her company.

spencer jumped up from his seat when he heard her name. everyone had refrained from using in fear of striking something in spencer. they didn't want to upset him more than he already was, so they just kept their mouths shut.

"yes?" he excitedly asked, feeling the sweat in his hands and the exhaustion overwhelming his body.

"she's out of surgery now. she's in a stable condition, but there's some bad news," the doctor grimaced as the others waited expectantly for the rest of the news. "she had a prolonged period of time without oxygen to her brain, she's now in a coma. we aren't sure when she'll wake up," the doctor finally spewed out. "you can go visit her now. maybe one at a time so she can decipher who's who. she can hear what you say, so make it positive and encouraging," he concluded.

spencer looked back at the team, waiting for them to signal that he could go visit her before following the doctor to your room.

spencer walked inside and saw you lying there, lifeless while barely alive. and it was all his fault. you told him it wasn't his fault. in what you thought were your last moments, you wanted him to be at ease. while you were bleeding out from his stupidity, you still claimed your love that he never told you he returned.

and for that he would never forgive himself.

oh, what he would give to hear your laugh again. to see your smile, feel your touch, smell your hair once more. he wanted you back.

so he did the only thing he could do. he sat by your side and grabbed your hand for the millionth time and held it to his cheek, trying to feel your warmth.

"hi, y/n," he started off, deciding to give this whole 'encouragement' thing a try. "there are a lot of studies on whether or not someone can hear whilst their in a coma, but i'm going to try it anyway," he tool a deep breath.

"you're the strongest woman i know, and i meant it when i told you that earlier tonight. i know that you can get through this. i want you to know that i'll be here for you every step of the way. i promise. i-i'll take off every day until you wake up. i have to take a sabbatical anyway, so i can just ask them if i can take it early. if i can't then i'll make garcia come here every single day and i'll call her so you can hear my voice," the tears filled his eyes once again.

"i-i need you here with me, y/n. please," he begged for what felt like the millionth time that night.

"spence," jj called from the doorway. "would you mind if we all talked to her for a minute? then you can come back? i need to get back to my boys now that i know she's going to be okay," she said with a bit of guilt at the thought of her being able to go home.

home to her husband and children.

y/n has always wanted children. she'd be such an amazing wife, and an even better mother. spencer wanted the chance to witness her being a mother first hand, and maybe even being the mother to his own children.

he wanted to give her everything she's ever wanted. he wanted to stay with her until he was forced to have to leave.

truth be told, the day you walked into the bau, you changed his life forever and he didn't even know it. he thought it was just going to be another temporary fill in, until you performed so well at your job that the bau just had to hire you permanently.

you're so amazing at everything you do. everything you've ever done. you always push yourself to be and do your best, something spencer has grown to love and admire you for.

so he just hopes you have a reason to fight. a reason to fight for your life, to fight for him. he hopes that you have hope.

"yea, of course," he pressed his lips to your knuckles one more time before leaving the room, hugging jj on the way out.

garcia was right outside the door, waiting for spencer to come out so she could give him a hug. she wrapped her arms around his torso as his went around her shoulders.

"she's strong, spencer. she'll get through this," garcia tried to comfort him.

"you should've heard her. she-she sounded like she was ready to give up hen she was lying there, bleeding out on the ground," spencer pulled back to look at garcia. "i can't lose her. n-not now."

"you won't lose her," she placed a comforting hand on his shoulder before he nodded to her and walked back into the waiting room, being met by emily's own embrace.

"i'm not gonna tell you how strong she is, because i think we all know that by now. but you can talk to me, reid. that's what you have to know. you can talk to any of us," she consoled before pulling back, her hands still gripping his shoulders tightly.

"sh-she told me she was in love with me," he said out loud for the first time.

"what?" emily's eyes widened at the realization before she pulled his hand to go into an empty room. "explain, please?"

"she told me she was in love with me," he repeated. "and i froze," he sighed.

"you froze? what do you mean? i thought you loved her too?" she pondered, a confused look clouding her face.

"how'd you know that? and yea, i do love her. i love her so much it hurts," he looked down at his feet. "i didn't say it back because i couldn't believe it was happening. i-i mean have you seen her? she's the definition of perfect and she said she loves me."

"oh, spencer," she said before giving him another hug, allowing him to break down in her arms.

"she walked out after that," he grimaced. "when i started walking back to my place that's when i heard the gunshot and called the ambulance. then i noticed it was her and i broke. it's my fault she was out there. if i would've told her how i felt she would've been in my arms and safe. instead, she's in a coma because i was too confused to say anything," he vented.

"it's not your fault, reid. you have to know that," she said before pulling back. "it's the guy who shot her's fault. not yours. you didn't pull the trigger."

"i might as well have. she doesn't know how i'm in love with her," spencer whined, feeling more hopeless than he did when he was kidnapped and drugged.

because at least then, he knew the team would be coming for him.

but he didn't know if you ever wanted to come back.

when you were lying there, dying, it was like you were saying goodbye as he held you in his lap. his hands, pants, and even shirt were covered in your blood.

he hadn't even noticed. he didn't care to notice. you were the only thing on his mind. everyone else knew he wouldn't leave without knowing your condition, so they didn't bother telling him to go clean up. emily noticed him eyeing his own appearance.

"go change. i'll call you if we have any updates. relax, please. she's not going to leave you," emily said before shooing him away to clean up.

spencer went to his place to change quickly and take a shower after morgan gave him his hoodie to wear on the drive there. meanwhile, emily walked out into the waiting room and took notice of morgan in his own worry.

"she'll fight. we know she will," emily confirmed as she walked to sit beside him.

"i know she will, but i'm also worried about the kid," morgan moved his head out of his hands as he looked at emily. "he told me how he was in love with her. and i'm willing to bet this has something to do with that. he's been through so much, he doesn't deserve to lose another person in his life."

"i know, you're right. he doesn't deserve this, nobody does, but he especially doesn't deserve this," emily said as she put her hand over his back, rubbing it soothingly.

"i'm gonna see if i can have my turn talking to y/n," he stood up and walked to your room, taking notice of jj still inside and penelope waiting patiently.

he wrapped his arms around garcia and let her cry as jj finished up inside before exiting and saying her goodbyes to everyone, allowing penelope to have her turn to talk with you.

showering helped spencer more than he thought it would. being covered in your blood was more frightening than he thought, so seeing his own skin on his hands was much easier for him.

he drove himself back to the hospital, wanting to avoid more prying eyes of cab drivers taking notice of his obvious grief and panic.

when he walked inside, hotch was inside your room with rossi, despite the 'one-person-at-a-time' rule. he knocked on the outside of the doorframe, alerting the two of his presence.

"kid. hey," rossi came up to greet him, giving him a quick hug before hotch did the same.

"reid, we know how close you two are, so just know that she's probably fighting to get back to you, the rest of us too, but especially you," hotch declared with a pity grin.

"i hope you're right," he glanced back in the room to look at you. "i really hope you're right."

spencer walked back into your room after the two older men left. he scooted the chair closer to your bed and held your hand. he crossed his arms on top of your bed, your hand still in his, and laid his head down on his arms.

he waited.

and waited.

and waited.

there was no progress.

he wanted you to come back to him. he wanted to feel your touch again and hear your laugh. he wanted to tell you how he felt. he just wanted you.

he was able to work at home on the few cases they received, and took his paperwork to your hospital room when he wasn't able to finish it as quickly as normal.

as the weeks went by, his hope began to dwindle, but his determination only grew. he was determined to be able to tell you how much he loved you while you were awake, so he refrained from spilling his guts while you were still unconscious.

he would read you books. your favorite books. the books you would ask him to read to you when you were feeling sad and wanted to hear his voice to calm you down.

he played your favorite songs. the songs you and him listened to on the way to work or to museums he would beg you to go to with him.

he even played chess with you. granted, he was more so playing himself acting as you. he would try to play whatever moves he felt you would play against him.

he cried with you. he cried for you to come back to him. he cried that you never stop fighting. he cried that he would get at least one more time to talk to you.

but one day the doctors noticed that you were able to breath on your own. they were able to take the tube out of your mouth and throat and nose. that was his hope. your strength was his hope.

he sped to the hospital that day, wanting to see you as soon as he could. it had been three weeks since the shooting, and he desperately needed the sight of your chest moving up and down voluntarily, a sign of your own breath breathing life into your body.

emily just nodded her head at him to go when he stormed into her office, she had received the same call seconds earlier.

when he came into your room, he as already in tears at the new progress. he brushed your hair out of your face and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

"keep fighting, y/n/n. you're so close to coming back to me, to us, to the team. please keep going," he begged as he sat down by your side. "i got the call about you being able to breath on your own, and i ran into emily's office. she didn't even need to say anything, she knew it was you," he smiled momentarily.

"i can't wait to be able to hug you again, and feel your warmth again. i uhm, i never told you this, but we've kissed," he smiled at the memory. "it was that night you were drunk and told me about your parents. you had kissed me after i told you how beautiful and amazing you were, and how wrong your parents were. i kissed you back, too," he gently bit his lip at the confession. "i-i didn't tell you because... i shouldn't have kissed you back. god, i've always wanted to kiss you, but not when you were drunk and vulnerable. i felt like i took advantage of you, and i hated that i did that to you. so, i never told you," he frowned at the hidden secret.

"but please, please, please come back to me. please let me kiss you for real this time. let me tell you how i feel, and hold you forever and ever. please just don't leave me. i won't be able to take that, y/n. i know how selfish that is, but i can't live without you. these past few weeks without hearing your voice has been hell," he frowned.

he had called your phone every day since the shooting just to hear your voice on the voicemail. those 29 words have been one of the things he's loved listening to when he woke up. he'd never admit it, but you'd realize it once you checked your phone.

another thing he loved doing was look through his videos of you. in one particular video, maybe even his favorite, you had taken his phone and began recording him on it.

you knew he hated his own appearance, although you'd never understand why, so you secretly took his phone and began recording him.

"hey spence! can you come here?" you called as you were in the living room, waiting for him to bring you your chicken tandoori.

"yup! i'm coming!" he came racing out with the two boxes of takeout, giving you one as he sat on the couch. he didn't even notice the phone with how you placed it in your hands.

"thanks handsome," you teased, although you meant every word you said. his face automatically blushed at the compliment, but he rolled his eyes nonetheless.

"oh, shut it," he said before stuffing a piece of chicken in his mouth. you giggled at his reaction, his favorite sound in the world.

"never. i don't know why you think you aren't attractive. you're so beautiful, spence, i'm surprised you don't already have a special someone," you nudged him with your elbow, the phone now being rested against your thigh to get a perfect view of him. you could see the smile he tried to hide by biting his lip gently.

"but i guess that does mean i get to spend more time with you, so i won't object," you laughed out before finally taking a bite of the food.

spencer noticed the phone on your thigh after you took a bite, his eyes widening at what he realized you were doing.

"y/n! why were you recording me?!" he exclaimed, trying to grab the phone and succeeding. he turned the camera on to you as you began laughing loudly at his reaction. "what do you have to say for yourself, ma'am?" he questioned.

your smile was brighter than ever, your face red from all the laughing. you were wearing one of spencer's sweaters, your favorite one. you had taken a couple because 'they're cozier' than yours. you put your hands up in surrender.

"i guess you caught me, hot stuff," you laughed before he placed the phone down and began his tickle attack on you. "ahhh! spencerrrr! please!" you laughed out. "i surrender!" tears of laughter were streaming down your face.

"fine. i think you've paid your penance," he joked before grabbing the phone and turning the camera on only you once again, you blushing from the action. "y'know you're really beautiful, right?" you smiled widely at his confession, sensing the sincerity in his voice.

"thank you, spencer. so are you, truly beautiful," you smiled even wider before he finally turned the camera off.

he remembers that day like it was yesterday. he'd like to claim it was because of his eidetic memory, but it was also because of you.

you had gotten the weekend off and decided to spend it together, once again. you had stayed the night with him all weekend, you insisted on sleeping on the couch to which he objected, forcing you to take the bed with him.

you had woken up cuddled in each others arms, facing each other like you had been hugging the whole night. spencer felt the most content he had ever felt in that moment, never wanting to let you go or wake you, so he waited for you to wake up.

that was the best weekend he's had in a while. you two acted as if you were in a relationship, domestic. it was delightful.

there was another picture the two of you had taken after a rather successful case.

all the missing children were found safe, a rare occurrence, so you had gone out to a bar to celebrate. it was mostly emily, morgan, and garcia's doing, so you had all eventually agreed once you figured out they wouldn't back down.

you had known how spencer was at bars, he was sometimes rather uncomfortable with all of the people. it made him anxious and a bit intimidated. so after you had all met up at the bar and you noticed how nervous he was, you intertwined your arms and took his hand in yours.

"my mom used to do this thing when i was anxious or nervous to calm me down," you whispered, wrapping your other arm around his one as you squeezed his hand three times. "it's supposed to be our way of assuring the other. a way of saying i'm here," you explained before he squeezed four times in return, your brows furrowed. "what does that mean?"

"i-it could mean i'm glad you're here," he grinned as he noticed the smile that erupted on your face from his kind words.

and you didn't let go all night.

"please come back to me, i know you can. you're so strong, please just come back to me," spencer wailed. he felt your hand squeezing his as he held it, making his encouragement the entire reason you came back to him.

-

"spence, you're making a mess," you giggled, wiping the corner of his lip free of the chocolate you two were eating, still in that heavenly place.

"i'm sorry! it just tastes really good," he smiled back as he watched you lick the chocolate from your thumb.

"mm, you're right. it does taste really good," you nodded your head. "so i'm taking all of them!" you grabbed the box full of chocolate and began running. looking back to see spencer chasing after you, you bursted into a fit of laughter.

the tall grass tickled your legs slightly, the breeze lifting your dress a tiny bit as you continued to jog ahead of him, teasing him with your laughter. he finally caught up with you, taking you down with him as you both giggled.

“you got me, dork,” you laughed, pushing his shoulder lightly. 

“of course i do! did you expect anything less?” he said arrogantly, you rolled your eyes. 

“never from you, doctor,” you teased as he pulled you in closer to him, you nuzzled your face into his neck as he admired the view around him. suddenly he stood up, the chocolate box in hand, and began running. 

“you little tease!” you shouted before getting up to chase him as he did you previously. “spencer reid, you’re so gonna get it!” you laughed out

"don’t leave me," he turned around to face you and called out, suddenly you felt a pang in your stomach where you had been stabbed.

you made eye contact with him, a look of shock and horror on your face as you tried to figure out what was wrong before you collapsed to the ground.

"sp-spencer? what's happening?" you asked as he pulled you into his lap.

"it's been two weeks y/n, i-i miss you." he began. "i know you're right here with me, but i miss your voice. and your laugh-"

"spencer i'm right here. i was just laughing with you," you tried to interrupt his monologue.

"and i miss the way your hair would crowd my face as we slept and how it would make me wake up. i miss hugging you and-"

"spencer please, i'm here," you cried, squeezing his hand as hard as you could to signify your presence.

"please come back to me, i know you can. you're so strong, please just come back to me."

-

"y/n! can you hear me?!" he exclaimed, you squeezed his hand once more, a little tighter than the last time. "oh my god! oh thank you so much, y/n," he cried as he kissed your knuckles once more, your fingers twitching in the process.

"doctor. we need the doctor!" he said as he pressed the nurse's button. "she's squeezing my hand. her fingers started twitching!" he said excitedly as the nurse entered, exiting to get the doctor.

you squeezed his hands three times, him returning with four times. you understood what he meant. his eyes were trained on your face and he saw as your lips twitched upwards in a smile.

the doctor came in to perform a few tests and forced him to release your hand. he asked you to squeeze his hand once more, you followed suit. the doctor noticed your nose twitching and neck beginning to turn.

"she's gaining control over her body again. this was predicted once we found out she could breath on her own, we just didn't think it'd happen this quickly. a recovery this soon after removing the tube is almost unprecedented," he said in awe of your strength.

"she's the strongest person i know. it's no surprise that she's recovering this fast," spencer said as he took hold of your hand again.

"indeed. she should regain full control over herself within a few hours or by overnight at this point. go easy on her, she's still recovering from being shot. i also need to observe the bullet hole on her stomach, but you could stay for that if you'd like." spencer nodded as the doctor raised the hospital gown.

there was deep bruising around the bullet hole and a scab over top. your stomach looked smaller than it had the last time he'd seen it, a result from you having to be fed through a tube. you were unbelievably pale, no surprise there either because of the lack of sunlight.

"it's healing nicely, the scab looks healthy and the bruising is getting better. she's a fighter, this one," he smiled at spencer.

"you have absolutely no idea," he said, not breaking his eyes from your beautiful face.

the doctor left swiftly after charting her vitals and giving her a shot of her vitamins. spencer sat back down in the chair and held your hand once again, waiting for you to fully wake up so you could once again be in each others' arms.

later that day, at around 11:50, your entire body began shifting. spencer sat up straight away, trying to held you in any way possible.

"that's it, y/n! come on, you can do it, y/n/n," he cheered you on, smiling so hard he felt his eyes prick with tears. you turned onto your side, towards spencer, and your eyes had began to twitch open.

"sp-spencer?" you questioned once your eyes were fully open.

"yea, yes. it's me. i'm here. i'm right here," he wrapped his arms around you, adjusting his grip after you grimaced from his tight hold. "i'm never leaving. i'm never letting you leave again," he ranted out, placing a hand on the back of your head as you wrapped the arm that didn't have an iv around his body, pushing your head to nuzzle into his neck.

"i'm so sorry. i never should've left you there," you cried into his arms.

"it's okay, y/n. it's not your fault at all," he soothed as his hand started stroking your hair gently. "i'm so glad you came back to me. thank you so much," he sighed as he gently placed a kiss on your head."

"you really think i would go that easily? i thought you knew me better than that, dumbo," you laughed out.

"i'm glad to see you still have that sense of humor in you," spencer scoffed, followed by a bright smile.

"oh that's not going anwhere, spencer. and neither am i."

@averyhotchner  @greenprisca  @muffin-cup​

[bump1nthen1ght]

Pack Tactics (Werewolf x Reader)

Pairing: Fem!Reader/Male!Werewolf

Genre: Urban Fantasy, Established Couple, Angst with a happy ending

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2896 words

Summary: You are in a wonderful relationship with your sweet partner, Gray. But this far into the relationship, you’ve yet to tell him you have no intentions ever of having kids. You can’t help but wonder, how will your child-loving werewolf boyfriend will react?

Request: I live for very specific comfort! No pressure if this doesn’t inspire you or if you just don’t want to write it obvi.... but could I have a f!reader x m!werewolf where the reader is 100% sure she doesn’t want to have kids ever never ever in any capacity and is worried about how her werewolf bf is going to react, worried she’ll be dumped or something (ya know cause idk I feel like werewolves are built with a breeding kink and like into the whole having a lot of pups) there can be smut if you want!! I love me some dramatic angst comfort :)))))))

A/N: Sorry this took so long y’all, school and stuff has been kicking my ass. But writing this sweet little fic has been a nice reprieve from my work. Hope you enjoy!

“Alright, I’ll get the chicken, the asparagus, and the pasta. You’ve got the wine and the dessert?”

“Sure thing.”

The two of you nod, Gray stepping away from the grocery cart before you call out to him.

“And not one of those huge tubs of ice cream.”

Gray emits a dramatic whine, pouting.

“But the big one is 25 cents cheaper than those little pints. It’s practically free!”

You furrow your brow and pat him on the shoulder.

“Not if we don’t finish them, they aren’t. Now go.” Gray rolls his eyes, clutching his heart and throwing his head back. You playfully push him, walking away with the grocery cart and towards the deli section. You can see the top of Gray’s wild brown hair as he moves into the next aisle, his 6’5” form towering over all the little old ladies who usually crowd the store.

You’re browsing the chicken, trying to decide between 2 breasts or a full rotisserie, when a familiar sound reaches you.

“Oh! If it isn’t ____.” You forcibly paint a smile, fingers automatically clenched around the stellafoam package as you turn to see your next door neighbor Mrs. Star. Her teased, bleached blonde hair teeters on top of her head, bobbing back and forth with the clack of her neon blue heels. While you can respect the 60-year old for digging her feet in and refusing to update her wardrobe from the 80’s, her pension for gossip is a little less admirable. “Shocked to see you out and about, what with that big ol boyfriend of yours.” She says, blue eyeshadow crinkling into a wink and nudging you with your elbow. You wheeze a bit, quickly covering it with a laugh. “Back in our honeymoon phase, Richard and I barely left the bedroom. And he was half-way balding back then, not the babe-a-rama you got going over there.” Mrs. Star’s laugh reaches a pitch almost too high for your human ears to pick up, maybe even giving Gray 2 aisles over a headache.

“Well, y’know, gotta keep our energy up.” You wince, immediately berating yourself for that comment. Mrs. Star throws her hand up in a “oh, you” gesture, letting out another half-whistle half-screeching chuckle.

“Oh I do, honey, I do.” She sends you another dramatic wink, which you return with a shaky smile. The corner of your cart bumps into hers as you begin walking along the meat aisle, trying to forcibly end this interaction. But Mrs. Star pulls off an impressive turn with her cart and strolls alongside you. She does little to hide her wandering eyes, trying to piece together any juicy info from your groceries. “So, are you two trying for kids yet?”

The wheels squeal to a sudden stop, forcing you to choke on your saliva as the shopping cart’s handle digs into your stomach. You keep your gaze locked on the frozen steaks  and turkeys, already way past the chicken you meant to grab.

“Uhhh, no. We’re not really in the phase of our relationship yet.”

Mrs. Star clicks her tongue, pressing her hand to her chest in a show of embarrassment. “I’m sorry, dearie. Old habits you see, whenever a new couple moves in together I assume they’re halfway to the wedding already. You young kids like to take it slow, huh?”

You nod, hastily grabbing a package of buffalo wings, hoping for an excuse to escape this conversation.

Mrs. Star continues to walk by you, her cart blocking off any convenient means to leave unless you significantly pick up her speed. Her eyes glance over the sweats sat in a display in the center of the aisle, humming a small tune.

The end of the aisle is approaching, you’re almost home free! You ready your feet to book it with an excuse, but Mrs. Star clears her throat and begins to speak.

“Now dearie, I don’t mean to pry-”

What do you call these last 3 minutes, Star?

“But I’d at least pop on a ring on that finger soon. Someday someone’s going to snatch that boy up like a piece of meat, saying all the right things. Men got all those suspicions about over-the-hill pregnancies, his eyes might start wandering. That’s how my first divorce went, so I should know.”

You pull your cart to a stop, breathe catching as you look at Mrs. Star, shocked. You can handle some inappropriate questions, but to question your boyfriend’s loyalty and insulting your relationship is crossing another line. Your brows furrow with a simmering anger, your cheeks heating up as you're ready to let loose.

“Well, Mrs. Star, if you must know I have the most wonderful boyfriend on this side of the planet, and unlike your deadbeat first husband, he’s as loyal as they can be.” Mrs. Star looks at you, eyes widened and right hand halfway to grab a pack of oreos. You huff, pushing your cart away from hers and towards the cash register. Right before you leave her sight, you turn back to her with a simpering smirk. “Have a great day, Mrs. Star!”

Your heart is heaving with anger, prepping a rant to Gray about the horrible interaction you just had. On the other side of the store, you spot Gray, his curly hair all tussled, holding a large Rosé and a package of ice cream sandwiches. Just the sight of his back calms you a bit, excited for some delicious food and late-night cuddles. You jog a little towards him, but slow down when you see him crouch down, looking at something hidden from your sight.

You turn your shopping cart slightly, trying to peer behind his massive form, and freeze.

Gray’s sticking out his tongue, pushing up his nose, and making many more silly gestures to a baby in a stroller. The baby laughs, it’s chubby cheeks bright red as Gray blows another raspberry, thrashing its arms up and down with joy. The dad is laughing at Gray’s antics, leaning down and patting his kid on the head.

Gray promptly stands up, sending another big smile to the kid, before waving goodbye. The six-month-old waves back, uncoordinated and decidedly adorable. Gray laughs, turning away and walking towards you.

Your feet feel cemented to the floor, heart down in your stomach.

He’s a natural, you think, nausea building up in your throat.

Gray was the oldest of eight, not a large number for a werewolf family. You adored them, and they you, but Gray had a way of dealing with his youngest siblings. Whether it was letting them climb all over him like a jungle gym, or attending imaginary tea parties, Gray was a pro. He was the guy to cram himself into a tiny chair at the kids table, eating tiny cookies and cracking jokes. ‘Dad’ seemed to be stamped into his very being, the cuddly werewolf with a love of children. He’s any mother-in-law’s dream.

But all those sweet things turn sour when you think about what Mrs. Star said. Gray, moving on without you.

Gray’s eyes light up when he sees your cart, jogging over and holding up the bottle of wine like a prize.

“Hey!” He says, quickly sliding an arm around your waist and giving you a peck on the cheek. “I got your favorite, and those delicious mint-chocolate sandwiches.”

His happy voice and comforting touch help abate whatever it is your feeling, but the way Gray’s brow furrows tells you your  discomfort is present in your eyes. “Is everything okay?” His large hand comes up and rubs your shoulder. You give him a shaky smile, fighting away negative thoughts with a bat.

“Yeah, let’s go home.”

---------

Wet fur presses up against your bare neck as you lazily stir the boiling water, Gray’s shifted muzzle now snug in the crook of your shoulder, the white flecks across his dark fur peeking into your periphery. Your free hand instinctively goes back to scratch between his ears, causing him to let out a satisfied huff, hot air blowing across your chest.

“That smells good baby.”

“It’s just salt and water Gray. The pasta’s barely al dente.”

Gray laughs, turning his head  slightly so he can press a small kiss onto your cheek.

“You could make even that taste delicious, ____”

You dramatically roll your eyes, pushing away his chin as he continues to peck and nip at your neck. After showering Gray always made sure to rub in some cherry-blossom leave-in conditioner into his fur. The artificial perfumes just lightly touch your senses, but the mental connection they have to Gray make them smell that much sweeter. You turn and give him a quick kiss on the lips, patting his shoulder once more.

“Do you mind setting the table? Maybe get started on those messy dishes?”

“No problem.” Gray mumbles, reluctantly pulling away from you and tugging up the towel that hangs loose on his hips. He barely needs to reach for your fancy plates on the top shelf, his chest muscles flexing and bicep taut. Even with his thick fur, you can see the bone of his clavicle which accentuates his long neck.

God, he’s so hot.

You think, smirking a bit as you continue stirring.

And all mine.

You hum, but the cheery mood you’re in quickly sours once you remember your conversation with Mrs. Star. That small seed of doubt seems to grow and leech from your chest.

2 years into this relationship and the two of you have only danced around the conversation of the future. You of course had agreed on living together, what your career paths looked like, even the potential of getting married in a couple years, but never kids. As two 20-somethings, you felt like you had all the time in the world.

But the thing was, you didn’t really need all the time in the world.

You didn't want kids. Even with your family or your neighbors needing that your opinion “might change some day,” you were confident in that decision. Not that you hated them, you just could never picture yourself being a mom. A fun aunt, maybe, but never a mom. It wasn’t even a point of contention in your own mind; The picture of you, your partner, and maybe a couple of pets thriving into your elders was bliss enough.

You sneak a glance to Gray, now clothed and back turned to you as he sets the table. He’s diligently folding the napkins into  fun shapes, a ritual he does every date night. From the hole in his jeans you can see his tail wagging, content as he hums to the low radio playing on the window sill.

A smile crawls onto your face, a small giggle escaping you as you watch Gray’s hips bob to the beat, silently mouthing the words. You snort as he does a dramatic little shoulder shift, Gray’s head whipping back towards the kitchen as you throw your hand over your mouth.

“What, don't you like my moves?” Gray says, shimmering his shoulders again, a large grin across his face.

“They could use some work, Kevin Bacon.” Gray clutches his chest, throwing his head back in mock pain.

“You wound me. After all these years, you would cut me so deep?”

“Sure would.” You turn back towards the simmering pasta, setting the wooden spoon on the rim and brushing your hands on your jeans. “Oof!” You squeak as you yanked away, Gray wrapping his arms around your waist, twirling you in a stumbling circle.

“And how ‘bout now, m’lady?” Gray simpers, eyebrow cocked. Your hands slap his chest as you laugh. He lets your feet back down on the floor, but keeps his arms locked around your waist. The two of you slow dance to the beat, and when the chorus hits, Gray gives his worst rendition possible. You bemoan and feign plugging your ears, but find yourself singing along anyway.

Everything about Gray is warm and bright, from his goofy grin to his excitable tail to his two left feet. He adds that pep of energy to your daily routine, pulling you out of an exhausting cycle for a quick jog to the beach or an episode of your favorite drama. Gray fills out all of those little spaces, makes them a little less gray.

Your head rests against his chest, feeling the fur through the fabric of his t-shirt as the two of you sway back and forth.

You want it to stay this way.

But that pestering weed squeezes your heart again, forcing images of Gray with a kid on his shoulders. Showing up to little-league football games with a big cooler and a “#1 dad” T-shirt. All those little moments, all without you.

You can’t fight the deep sigh, pressing your face even deeper into Gray.

Just let me have this. Just this moment, just for now.

-------

“Ugh, I think my stomach is going to explode from excess-pasta.”

Gray huffs, laying his head on your lap as the two of you slump onto the couch. His tail wags lazily, flickering back and forth as his legs swing over the coach's side, his long torso bunched up as he curls into you. The fur of his head is soft as you twist your fingers into it. “But I gotta say, what a way to go out.”

You giggle, losing your thoughts in his soft fur. Gray lets out another deep breath, nuzzling his face into your hand. You brush over his cheek with your  thumb, admiring the cheekbone you feel just underneath.

But that burning question refuses to leave your mind, and you ask it without even thinking.

“Do you want kids, Gray?”

Gray’s eye’s stay closes, his posture relaxed as he sinks into your massaging fingers.

“Hmmm, maybe. Never really thought too much about it. Why?”

Your throat dries up, mind reeling. It wasn’t even a definitive yes, but your heart is still reeling. Your fingers pause and Gray's eyes open. He shifts his head when he sees the look on your face, concerned. “Babe?”

You nod, eyes still wide, trying to fight off the inklings of a panic attack. Gray pushes himself up on his elbows, paw quickly coming to caress your cheek. “Baby, is everything alright?”

You find the energy to breathe, and suck in deeply. Your heart begins to slow down as you look into Gray’s yellow wolf eyes. You dig your cheek into his large palm, smelling the perfume of his conditioner.

“Yes, sorry, I just-” You pause, taking another deep breath. “I ran into Mrs. Star in the grocery store, and-I’m sorry I’m overthinking things.” You mutter, patting yourself  on the cheek as to snap yourself out of your mood. Grays other hand rubs the back of your neck.

“It’s okay, baby, I’m here. Did she say something?”

“No-Well, yes. It’s silly, typical Star things. She just brought up how ‘ought to get started having kids, and it just-” You let out a shaky sigh, pulling away Gray’s hand with your own and looking him straight in the eye. “I don’t want to have kids, ever.”

In Gray’s eyes, you expect to….something. Confusion, disappointment, maybe? But instead, all you see is relief. Gray rests his paw on your thigh, squeezing it.

“_____, is that what you’ve been worrying about?” You nod, throwing your eyes back down, but Gray tilts your chin towards him. “If you don’t want kids, we won’t have kids. Simple as that.”

Your eyes widen and you pull your face back.

“Seriously? But-what if-”

“____, I grew up with eight siblings. I’m going to have to deal with more nieces and nephews then I can count on my fingers and my toes, I think I can handle not having kids.”

A weight lifts off of your chest and you slump forward into Gray, pressing your forehead against his clavicles as you let out a long, relieved sigh. He laughs, patting your back and kissing the top of your head. “I’m sorry you had to deal with this all day, I didn’t even realize you were so upset.”

You slap his chest, letting out another frustrated sigh. With him? No, but yourself, and Mrs. Star, for stirring up nightmares for no damn good reason.

“It’s not your fault, it’s mine for being so paranoid.” You press your chin up, pouty lips admiring your boyfriend's face. “I’m sorry for freaking out. She really got me into my own head.”

“No apologies needed baby.” Gray says, giving you a small peck. You send him a cheesy smile, chasing after his lips with a couple of small kisses. A low rumble growls out from his chest as you nip at his jawline. Behind him, you hear his tail begin to hump on the floor.

“Hmm, does that mean you feel better?” You nod, pressing another kiss into his pulse point.

“Yes, thank you for letting me get that out.” Another kiss, now on his Adam’s apple.

“Welp,” Gray says, quickly adjusting himself. In another second, you yelp as he picks you up by your butt, legs quickly wrapping around his waist, “Let’s give Mrs. Star something to talk about, hmm?”

You throw your head back with a laugh, clinging tight to his chest as Gray blows a raspberry into your neck. “That good with you, my lady?”

You nod, giving him another kiss on the lips as he carries you off into the bedroom.

Yeah, you have it good.

[sukirichi]

suk *ehem saeren (new pseud is sexy btw and also your new theme vvv sexc bestie!!!😌😌) okay so when i read chp 7-8 i was like ‘y/n c’mon. give kita the chance he deserves i mean IT’S THE MR. KITA SHINSUKE WTF WHAT MORE CAN YOU ASK?!’ but then oh god, the museum scene holy fuck. no because the cherry blossom tree works so well as an analogy for the main couple’s love story. yeah, cherry blossoms signify new beginnings and are mostly adorned by many when they bloom. why? aside from the indication of renewal, it only stays for a certain period of the year which is always a sight to see and because of the limited time frame, everyone knows the beauty it exudes will be gone after the time passes (death). going back, suna and y/n’s routine of spending time together to being away from each other’s presence is the recurring theme for them to grow. seeing them say too many goodbyes brings that anxious feeling of ‘ahh. it we will be back to square one again'  (also, not the fact that broken record connotes annoying repetition of something is aksjalks🤧) 

also yeah, when you love a person, the one should make you feel calm and secure and only then you can distinguish whether you truly love them or just merely an infatuation. but in y/n’s case, whether she has that rose-tinted glasses on or not, identifying the blaring red flags is hard to accept notice if that same marker is the one that brings her comfort due to its familiarity. and idk where to put this in my last ask because i don’t have enough brain juice to make a theory, but the way suna is nervous for his first date with mari, he should have second guessed why he’s acting like that when the happiness he felt with y/n is way more different with mari (should have listened to osamu and aran and ooh im sorry i assumed they samu and suna were schoolmates in high school when they are not akhfak). sure, he’s nervous out of excitement but for what? it's like foreshadowing that he needs to put up a front with mari just to keep her (but we all know that is not the case) in those 3 years they spent together, did he feel more on the edge than relaxed tho? 🤨

and for someone who loathes her half-sister, nagisa sure is invested with the happenings in y/n. it’s like she’s always on the lookout for her mistakes and dote it on her until her last breath. the mari and nagisa connection is possible though and it is not like they live countries apart but their meeting, from the way i see it, is like a silver lining for nagisa to topple y/n lol🤪 and aah, now it get why nagisa called y/n whore at the restaurant. when i read that part, i thought that they have somewhat lived under the same roof for some time but the succeeding chps showed they did not and was still confused because she has never shown any interest about what is going on with her affiliated family except hatred and then that happened. i guess when she burst out at that moment, it was when the two had met? 

it’s kinda disheartening to see how lucy subtly(??) controls y/n’s love life. maybe because she doesn’t want y/n to fall under the same category for marrying out of love when she is the one who refuses to divorce the dad (= she shouldn’t). should have filed that divorce, not doing so is a recipe for disaster itself. and mari 😤😤WHAT DID I SAY?? (well in this case, it is shunning others away from suna) i cannot, for my peace of mind, be able to be in the same vicinity as her. for all i know, i could be dragging her on the floor out of pure disgust. i can’t wait to find out who died and who is in critical condition. though, that critical scenario lead to afterlife too, so no wishful thinking here. but, ahh are we getting a background story for suna too?🥺 this is where i'm betting my wish at. while we’re at it, i wonder how atsumu will react to suna impregnating mari. i imagine he would say ‘dude wtf?! she chose you! how could you?!’ i know he is happy with his gf but can’t help to be caring as ever to y/n.

reading chps 7-9 in one go was a pleasant experience 1.because school😔🤢 2.angst is way more comforting than comedy 3.no more anxious thoughts of why and how this happened because at this point, i’m just playing hidden mickey here. but i truly love the story, can’t believe it’s already ending by the next update. saerennn i hope ur okay bub?🥺 and get that hashbrowns after finishing the series or while working for the last track. u deserve it!! luv u~💕💕

🍳

my egg anon, hello !! I’m so sorry for the late response, my asks were piled up and I got busy with school :<

AND AAAAAH THANK YOU I’M SO HAPPY YOU GOT THE MESSAGE OF THE CHERRY BLOSSOMS!! it was actually taken from the music video I linked back to the end of the chapter and my friend and I were discussing it because I think there were lots of symbolism on it. the one about new beginnings because the cherry blossoms only come for a certain time of the year before a new season comes also represents how YN and Suna keep going back and forth to loving, getting complicated, forgiving, getting complicated and so on and so forth. I love everything you said because it was exactly how I wanted the story to be like <33 the part about being anxious too !! that’s why YN keeps saying ‘this cycle never ends.’ and YESSSS THAT’S ALSO WHY I CHOSE BROKEN RECORDS AS THE TITLE. the ‘records’ refer to them playing love songs and then apology songs to each other over and over but then the song stops and they start to have new stories :<<

oooooh yes, totally. judging from my own experience, I can tell too whether it’s love or infatuation. when I’m with someone I love, I feel totally at peace and safe with them. it’s comfortable, it’s not supposed to be scary or nerve wracking. even if something wrong happened, you’re assured by the knowledge they’d be patient and listen to you. AND THIS PART WHERE YOU SAID THIS ABOUT SUNA ‘whether she has that rose-tinted glasses on or not, identifying the blaring red flags is hard to accept notice if that same marker is the one that brings her comfort due to its familiarity’ ITS 100% ACCURATE. same goes for suna tbh. YN was the one who broke his heart when they broke up but she was also the only able to comfort him. it’s hard for them to let each other go because they’re both a source of pain and familiarity that they struggle to find in this world. yes there’s some slight foreshadowing in how suna reacted with mari. he was on edge and he didn’t know what to do most of the time because he doesn’t understand mari the same way he understands YN. as for him being on edge, he most definitely was tiptoeing because mari placed a lot of boundaries such as keeping YN completely out of the picture and making her presence a bare minimum.

NOOOO BECAUSE THAT’S SO TRUE. Nagisa is always updated with YN. YN is the one who updates her about her life because she’s always trying to make conversation, but Nagisa pretends to be ‘uninterested’ although don’t let that fool you because she remembers every little detail just in case she can use it against her half sister. nagisa and mari met after mari broke up with suna in ch1 so yes, nagisa already knew the situation !! that’s why she called YN a ‘whore’ because if she ‘was with Suna’ then why is she also ‘dating’ Kita? so in nagisa’s eyes, YN is just the same as her mom.

lucy was half and half. sometimes she has good intentions but most of the time she’s also just messed in the head and she really fucked with YN’s trust issues. HMMM I WANTED A BACKGROUND STORY FOR SUNA TOO TBH but I didn’t know where to fit it and I didn’t want to add random, unnecessary details :<< AND FOR ATSUMUUUUU…. atsumu crushed on YN real hard… until now, even though he has a gf (now wife in the timeskip) you can tell he still cares about YN

NAUUUR angst is way more comforting than comedy sobs. and yes baby, I’m doing okay !! just a lil busy with uni work but nothing I can’t handle <33 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS EGG ANON, I REALLY LOVE HEARING YOUR THOUGHTS ON IT BECAUSE YOU HAVE SUCH A BIG BRAIN AHHH I love you, stay safe too bb <33

[tellmeyellme]

Bound to each other (ch.III)

genre: angst, ennemies to ???

pairing : Kuroo c reader, Bokuto x reader

WC: 1220

ch.II | Masterlist

Rain pouring down could be heard from his bedroom; there was not much surprising to it as it was late April. Kuroo was laying in his bed, facing the ceiling. Not much happened since the start of the new school year, just like not much happened during the last two terms of his second year. Oh yes, one thing happened. 

He started treating you like he treated the other team members -after all, you were their manager. He had stopped making group chats where you weren’t included. It was just a thing he did so he could hang out with the others without you, thinking it would be too awkward since you ignored each other.  Spending time around you was something he found himself enjoying. You brought some other kind of light to the group  -it almost felt surreal, felt like the sun would have stopped shining upon them if you were to disappear. Was it the way you held yourself, the way you laughed, or even the way you never hesitated to hold out a hand to anyone? 

Your group hangouts allowed him to discover a new you -whether it was the afternoons and evenings spent at the arcade, the park, at one’s house. He had grown to learn some habits of yours - the way you liked your pizza, your taste in movies, the way you could talk so passionately about your favorite authors, and how you always tried to match the color of your shoes and your shirts. And truth to be told, he quite enjoyed it, wishing he could have made you a friend. 

Discomfort seemed to always find a way to intrude itself amongst the two of you whenever you were left alone -it was barely noticeable, but it was still there. He did his best to lessen it, or even get rid of it, making sure to pay attention to even the smallest things about your body language. He had brought you a book you favorite author wrote once, told you he had read it and wished to be able to discuss it with you. “I didn’t think you would enjoy this kind of books, but thanks, that’s very considerate of you, I’ll make sure to read it by the end of the week,” you responded with the slightest smile. Considerate of him? He was no fool, he was under no illusion. He hadn’t expected you to miraculously forgive him, and he wasn’t mad that you didn’t.

Spring symbolized renewal - a wild guess he could make was that there would be plenty of occasions to make you at ease with him. He thought of the Cherry Blossom Festival -it would have been awkward if it was just the two of us though, it would have looked like a date or just something romantic- so he asked the whole team to come.

Waltzing through the sakura trees, a smile adorning your face, he thought you looked like you belonged in a movie -one where you would be the protagonist, one where you would get your own happily ever after. He hoped he would not just be an extra on your movie.You plucked a flower from the trees, tucked it behind your ear and you went back to dancing amongst the tree, surrounded by flowers. And at that moment, Kuroo could have sworn you were one yourself.

It made him remember a haiku he had found after making some research on a poet you talked about. 

さまざまのこと思い出す桜かな*. Various things, they call to mind, ah, cherry blossoms! )*

Yes, all of this was definitely because of the cliché of the romantic set-up made by cherry blossoms -maybe he could have had a better idea than going to Ueno Sakura Matsuri.

The sun was setting down when the group left the park. The colors of it brought out your features in a way he had never seen -it kissed your skin as if it was a first kiss, in the most grandiose way. When the group split, it didn’t take long to start raining -maybe about thirty minutes, but Kuroo was already home. He wondered if you were,or if you had found something to shelter yourself. He hoped you did.

Kuroo rolled around in his bed one last time, deciding that the day he just had was quite odd, but still a good day. It was 11:47 now, he decided he should try to sleep now.

It was 7:45 when Kuroo’s alarm clock rang. He woke up grudgingly -the first term already ended, but he still had to wake up early to go to the summer training camp. The whole team -you- would be here.  A part of him couldn’t wait to introduce his friends from Fukurodani to the team -to you-, because it had been five years since Nekoma last took part in one of these, so many of his teammates -you- didn’t know them yet. Another part of him was reluctant about that idea, what if the team -you- and the other teams didn’t get along? He decided it didn’t really matter, because at the end of the day, he was Nekoma’s captain, so he would have to side with his team -with you.

Yukie and Kaori were the first to greet you -telling you they were from Fukurodani. Meanwhile, Kuroo was busy catching up with Bokuto: “So she is the manager you told me about? You sure it’s the same person that you told me about? Come on man, she can’t be that bad, Yukie and Kaori seem to like her!” a shocked Bokuto exclaimed loudly, before slapping Kuroo on the shoulder and jogging towards you so he could introduce himself. Ah yeah, he hadn’t really updated him on you. Maybe he should have. 

“HEY HEY HEEEY! I’m Bokuto Kotaro, Fukurodani’s ace and captain,” the spiky haired boy exclaimed, pointing at himself with his thumb. “ And you must be (y/n) if you’re Nekoma’s manager!” 

“Yes, that’s my name,” you giggled, amused by the ace’s antics,”but can I ask you how you know that?” Oh no. Kuroo hoped Bokuto wouldn’t be blunt enough to tell you, especially with all the things he used to say about you. Oh he should have definitely kept him updated about you. Kuroo gave a silent prayer -that’s all he could do at this point.

“How could i NOT know about Nekoma’s manager? As the amazing captain that I am, I must know about my enemies !” 

Ah yes, what Akaashi called “Bokuto’s sixth weakness”, he liked to show off. It made Kuroo remember it -and it made him think that the Gods heard his prayer.He could breathe again; you would not learn about all the things he had said about you. 

He sighed in relief, and closed his eyes for what felt like half a second, but when he opened them again, he saw you laughing at Bokuto’s manners.It made Kuroo happy, thinking that if you made a friend of another one of his, he would get to spend more time with you, and you could become real friends. But he felt like he was shining upon you, brighter than the sun, and like he was blinding you, that you couldn’t see anything but this newfound sun.

A/N: Hi!! sorry for not updating earlier but I have been kinda busy these last few days :// So, about the haiku (*), I find it while looking for Japanese festivals, and i found the Ueno Sakura Matsuri, which is, from what I’ve understood, a cherry blossom festival in Ueno Park, in Tokyo. The haiku was written by Matsuo Basho, and you can read about it here -it’s where I got the traduction. I was thinking about starting an SMAU because I have an a idea, but i don”t know which characters i should pick so :CC. I think it could train me to write ‘dialogue’ even if i think im better at writing messages than dialoues (that introduction was weird AS FUCK, but clearly i can’t even introduce myself so how could i introduce someone else????)

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Lost one sibling, gained four more; Queen x teen reader pt.1

*Author's note*

Can this be true? Two updates in one day?! Well you better damn BELIEVE IT MY PEOPLE!!! I just got this request FINALLY done after working non-stop when I could and finally I had time to just sit down and finish it. So I'd love to thank the requestor for being SOOO patient. And yes this request is VERY long so this is just Part one, pt.2 will be posted immediately after this so just hang tight my darlings :)

So warnings include: INSANE FLUFF, cancerous sickness (leukemia), some angst (but not in the part but buckle up for pt.2), and the lovely and nasty Queenies :) Hope you all enjoy this fic as much as you've enjoyed the last one :)

Taglist:

@psychosupernatural

@plethora-of-things

@ixchel-9275

@waddles03

@geek-and-proud

@platawnic

@queendeakyy

@coolcxt

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*Tokyo, Japan 1974*

Being here in Tokyo, Japan has been such a thrill. Even though the boys weren't overly popular like the Beatles or Elton John just yet back home in England, at least here in Japan they've greeted them like royalty. There were screaming fans everywhere to greet us at the airport holding up pictures, drawings and signs welcoming the guys to their home country.

The boys had a press conference earlier today and now we were in a special garden just behind the Tokyo tower for the tea ceremony. It was such a beautiful day for such a ceremony and the cherry blossoms were in full bloom.

As I looked at the boys I could tell they were extremely happy to be here. I looked down at my art book and went back to sketching the boys who were all sitting along the blanket holding their Japanese teacups. Making sure to get each detail of each of their features, and the last detail like the wind blowing their hair down just right.

Oh I should introduce myself; my names (y/n) (l/n). I had gotten a job being an assistant to the band's lawyer Jim Beach just before Queen began recording their 3rd album "Sheer Heart attack". Since joining the boys over a year ago when I was just 16 years old, they have become like a second family to me.

And it's exactly what I needed because—well I've been dealing with some hardships in my family as of late for the past few years now, so being with the guys has really helped brighten my day.

As I watched the boys play with their gifts given to them by the Japanese fans and giving them a recorded message, curtesy of the Japanese press that had joined us along with the ladies who help run the tea ceremonies for only the elite politicians of Japan.

God were they ever silly, Roger photobombing behind in almost every message, Deacy being a secret cheeky guy, Freddie interrupting Roger's greeting, and Brian stepping in when he felt like it during Fred's message. I continued my outline of the boys on the blanket with the Tokyo tower in the background, when I felt something touch behind my ear.

"A blossom for our blossom." I softly grinned and turned around to see Freddie and Deacy standing behind me. I lifted my hand to see just what he had done but he told me, "No, no darling don't touch it. Deacy darling, take a picture of us two."

I blushed and tried to bury my face into my hands.

"Oh no, no, no, no, no love not this time. You've been avoiding all pictures ever since we got here. I deserve at least one with you in it for myself." Deacy said as Freddie pulled me close onto his lap and leaned his head against mine.

"You guys are nuts, you know that?"

"But you love us dear." Freddie said as he gave my temple a quick peck.

"Yeah, guess I do."

"Alright you two look this way." Deacy said as he prepped his camera. We turned to face Deacy and I wrapped my arms around Fred's neck and his arms went around my waist as we leaned our heads against each other's. Deacy got in a few pictures and he said. "Beautiful."

"Tell me we can see the blossom in her hair Deacy."

"Yep, got a clear picture of that." I gently removed the twig from my hair to see a multiple line of cheery blossoms. I smiled and that's when Fred grabbed my art book.

"Working on some new sketches darling?"

"Yeah, Japan's definitely given me some beautiful inspiration. But most of it is still a work in process, so no lookies."

"Aww c'mon dear let me have a sneak peek, please? From one designer to another?"

"No not even if you were my professor Freddie."

"Oh you better hand over the sketch book (Y/n) darling, if you know it's good for you." He playfully threatened. I gripped my book tightly to my chest and that's when he said. "Fine, you leave me no choice. Roger!"

"Shit no!" I took off running and before I even knew it, Roger quickly swooped in and swung me around and he said.

"Might as well give up lovie, you know it's useless to get out of my grasp." He emphasized his point by nuzzling my head like a cat and peppering my face with slobbery kisses.

"Eww Rog! Cut it out!!" I tried to escape his grip but as always it was pointless to escape the arms of Roger Taylor. He kept peppering kisses all over my face, even poking me in the sides slightly tickling me till the grip on my notebook was just enough for it to fall.

Deacy caught it and handed it to Fred.

"Thank you my darlings."

"Deacy, Rog, you both are on the official hate list. I no longer like you two." I huffed.

"Aww, that hurts poppet, that really hurts." Deacy mocked using the puppy dog eyes on me that he knew I couldn't resist.

"After all we've been through (n/n) you'd just dump me like that?" Roger faked cried.

"You are such a drama queen Rog." He grinned and playfully ruffled my hair and that's when Freddie said.

"Ohh (y/n) darling. These are—there's not even a word that can describe what I'm looking at. The realism is uncanny down to the last detail. You even got Brian's hair right and not even I can do that."

"I'll admit, even though I'm no artist that these pictures look like a photograph being developed. You're truly talented (y/n)." Deacy praised me as he looked over Fred's shoulder. Brian soon came up and he said.

"I must admit Fred's right. Every hair detail for all of us is down to the straight detail. Do you—think I could get a signed copy of this?"

"Not if I take one first Brian." Roger spoke up.

"I swear darling, you should go to the university I went to; Ealing Art college. They'd be soo lucky to have you."

"Well.....I mean they're okay but I don't think they're worthy of that university." I muttered.

"Don't be so modest darling, I'll even give you a recommendation. As an alumni I can have the rights to help you get in." he decreed.

"Well I'll—I'll think about it Freddie. Right now I just want to get through secondary school and graduate from that." After that conversation, the five of us continued to have a fun time in the Japanese garden.

After the tour in Japan, I arrived back in London and as the guys were piling in the cab Roger said.

"C'mon love let's go."

"Actually I promised my mum that I'd wait here for her. She said she was gonna take me home."

"You sure?" asked Brian.

"Yeah, she might be waiting outside right now. You guys go on ahead I'll see you guys next week."

"Alright, thanks for coming with us love."

"Thank you guys for inviting me. I had a wonderful time."

"You always make our tours and trips more memorable (y/n) dear. Drive safe." He came up and kissed my cheeks and hugged me. I hugged each of my boys and they piled into the cab waving goodbye to me. I blew them a kiss goodbye and they took off in the cab.

About five minutes after they left, my mom's van pulled up. I smiled at her and picked up my luggage and headed towards the car. I placed them in the backseat and I hugged my mum.

"Did you have fun love?"

"Ohh Japan was so beautiful, I wish you and Kay could've been there to see it."

"I'm sure your sister would've loved to have gone with you."

"How—how has she been?"

"Well we—had a bit of a scare just the other week, but she's stable now."

"What? What happened to her?! Why didn't you call me?"

"I tried but each time I did no one was answering. Plus with the time difference and this internship I didn't want you distracted."

"Mum, if something happens to Kaylee, I deserve to know." She cupped the side of my face and said.

"You're right I'm sorry. Do you wish to see her?" I nodded and said.

"I still gotta give her that gift I promised her." My mum shifted the car into drive and drove us out of the airport to London hospital.

Once we arrived at the hospital, my mum checked us in and we headed towards my sister's room on the 5th floor. Now you remember me mentioning about the family turmoil right? Well it all has to do with my bestest friend in the whole wide world, my older sister Kaylee. See about 4 or 5 years ago we noticed how she'd always get high fevers and suddenly seemed to be losing weight.

At first I thought she was going anorexic but when she passed out and my mum and I saw the bruises forming on her arms, we immediately rushed her over here to the hospital where they diagnosed her with acute myeloid leukemia.

It devastated the whole family and it really began to take a toll on my mum and now we're hardly able to afford my sister's medical bills to pay for all the chemo she has to go through. That's why I got the job with Jim in the first place.

Any checks I get from him, go straight to my sister. Not my college fund. In fact I'm not even going to college, cause I want to continue to fund for my sister's health, and finally get her the cure she deserves.

When we got to her room, there she was lying on her bed, beanie on top of her head to cover her bald head. She turned over to me and smiled tiredly.

"Hey (y/n)." I smiled and rushed over to her and hugged her without hurting her. "How was Japan?"

"It was beautiful. Maybe once you're out and better we can take a trip there."

"I hope so."

"Oh hey, I got you what you've been asking for." I went into my bag and pulled out a poster of the Queen 2 poster that had all the guys' signatures on them. I had asked them while we were in Japan if they could sign this for me. Easily able to trick them, I told them to write it for Kay, telling them that it was a nickname of sorts.

"Oh my god." She squealed softly as she took the poster in her hands and looked at it. See she's the reason why I got into Queen. Since she's two years older than me, she first heard about the first Queen album and kept playing it on repeat.

Liking the music I was hearing, she gave me a brief education on Queen and ever since then, we've been fangirls of Queen ever since. They're music has really helped my sister a lot especially since her leukemia has seemed to be getting progressively worse in the past year.

"Thank you (y/n). You are so lucky that you get to work with them."

"Well it's mostly just doing stuff for their lawyer. I don't actually help make the songs."

"Still, you're living every girl's dream right now at the chance of even being close to them. Are they nice?"

"Oh Kay, nice doesn't even begin to describe them. They're so sweet and down to earth. Cheeky at times especially Roger and Freddie, but they are all so supportive and treat me like I'm a part of their little family."

"I'm glad they're treating you right." I then showed her some of the pictures that I had drew while I was there and some of the photos I took. "God (y/n). I envy you for your drawings. And the fact that you were in Japan. You know I always wanted to go there."

"Well—maybe when you get out, we can take a trip there." Unaware of my mum's solemn attitude, my sister smiled and said.

"Yeah. Maybe we can make it just the two of us squirt." She playfully shoved my head, our friendly little gesture of affection since we were kids.

"Hey I'm 2 years younger than you."

"Still a squirt compared to me." She teased.

After about a week of being back home, I went between my final few weeks of home schooling, the studio and the hospital. Right now I was sitting with my sister, the two of us having the boys' "Sheer Heart attack" album playing in the background as my sister and I were chatting away.

"Okay so FMK; Paul McCartney, David Bowie or Elton John." I asked my sister.

"Oh Goddamnit (n/n) why make me choose those three. I love all of them!" she whined.

"Cause I'm evil like that. No c'mon you made me have to kill Brian the last time so this is payback."

"Okay, okay. So.....ugh I hate you. Okay I would marry Elton, fuck Paul and I'm sorry David. God I hate you so much!"

"Haha!"

"Well don't let David hear you say that darling." Oh god it—it can't be. We suddenly looked up and there stood Brian, Freddie, Deacy and Roger.

"Oh my god what are—what are you guys doing here?"

"You left your journal at the studio last night. We called your mum to see if we could give it to you at the house but she told us you were at the hospital." Answered Deacy as he held up my art journal.

"At first we got worried that something bad had happened to you, but then she explained to us what was going on." Continued Roger.

"So you must be the real Kay." Freddie pointed towards my sister.

"Guys I'm—I'm sorry I tricked you, I just....."

"It's alright love. There's no need to explain. It's sweet you got something for your sister after all you've done for her. But we figured maybe a visit from the real band might make her day a bit better." Brian said with a soft smile.

"I—I....." Kaylee started as the boys all came in and sat around us.

"So Kaylee darling, which of our three albums is your favorite?" asked Freddie.

"Uhh well I—it's hard to pick but I guess your recent album Sheer Heart attack is probably my favorite."

"Do you have a favorite song from the album?" asked Brian.

"Oh god uhh—can't I say I love them all? It's so hard to pick a favorite song of yours."

"That's understandable." Replied Deacy.

For the rest of the time, my sister got to ask the guys so many questions about how their musical processes, how they choose which lyrics work the best, how the arrangement works when performing, how they all got together, everything she had been dying to know since she was a music nut.

And bless the boys they answered all her questions no matter how ridiculous or embarrassing they were. Soon a nurse came in to tell me that visiting hours were over.

I hugged my sister goodbye and even the guys gave her a hug and kiss goodbye, which made her heart meter skyrocket, especially when she got a kiss to the cheek from Deacy.

I walked out with the guys and we all piled into the car and I said to them.

"Thanks you guys."

"For what lovie?" asked Roger.

"For—being nice to my sister. You four.....have made her happier than my mum and I have seen her in years since she's had to go back and forth between home and the hospital."

"You're family to us (n/n). And if we could give a little bit more back to you, it's always worth it. We're honored that you let us in on this personal matter of your life. Thank you for letting us have your trust." Said Brian.

"Just—promise me that none of this gets leaked out."

"Don't be ridiculous dear. We wouldn't dare proclaim this secret of yours out to the public. Your sister's secret heath crisis is safe with us." Freddie said as he stroked down my hair. I smiled and thanked them once more.

One year later in 1975 I was with the boys, Mr. Reid, Paul Prenter and my boss Jim Beach. We were currently in Ray Foster's office waiting for Freddie to arrive for the meeting of the next hit album. I leaned my chin against my palm as I drummed against the armrest of the chair I was sitting in.

Finally Freddie walked in greeting us with a hello.

"You're late." Said Mr. Foster.

"Am I?" questioned Freddie.

"Saved you a seat." Paul said as he gestured at the chair I was sitting at. He then glared down at me ordering me to move. I sat up but then just before I could walk away to stand beside my boss, I was pulled onto the couch and saw that it was Roger who had pulled me in to sit on his lap. He winked at me and placed a quick peck on my forehead as Mr. Reid introduced my boss to Ray Foster.

"You must stop calling him that." Freddie said as he lit himself a cigarette.

"That's his name." said Mr. Reid.

"No we cannot keep calling him Jim Beach. No that's absurd not to mention unspeakably boring." He breathed in a quick drag before proclaiming. "Miami. From now on; I dub thee, Miami Beach." My boss chuckled then said a quick little teasing joke of Miami Beach.

Truthfully I liked it, hopefully I can have the honor of calling him that one day but for now I'll just settle on Mr. Beach as I have been referring him as.

"Right now that everyone's got an acceptable name let's get to it. Look; we just really need something special. More hits, like "Killer Queen", only bigger."

"It's not bloody widgets we're making. We can't just reproduce Killer Queen." Said Roger as Freddie sat up and walked towards Ray's record player taking out a record from his bag.

"No. We can do better." Said Freddie as he placed the record on the vinyl and turned it on. He lifted the needle and placed it at a specific point and soon coming out of the speakers was the famed song from Carmen. I grinned and as Freddie gracefully walked around moving his finger around to the tun, Mr. Foster bluntly stated.

"It's opera."

"Opera!" exclaimed Mr. Reid.

"Opera." Echoed Paul.

"Ahh there seems to be an echo in here." Deacy stated which made me choke out a laugh. As the song continued, when it got to the big crescendo part of the song, Freddie went all out waving his arm in tune before on the final note, slamming his hand down on Foster's desk. He almost couldn't contain his excitement as I chuckled softly.

Brian, Rog and Deacy were also in tune to the idea as they with less enthusiasm as Freddie but the same interest followed the next crescendo of the choir. Freddie turned the volume down as Brian said.

"See we don't want to repeat ourselves. The same formula over and over."

"Formulas are a complete and utter waste of time." Freddie stated bluntly.

"Formulas work. Let's stick with the formulas. I like formulas." Mr. Foster said.

"We'll call the album......A Night at the Opera." Hmm after a Marx brother's film. Sounds interesting.

"Are you aware that no one actually likes Opera."

"I like it." I said to myself, but I guess it was loud enough because Mr. Foster looked right at me through his shades and asked skeptically.

"Do you?"

"I do as well." I heard my boss say. I looked at him and he gave me a slight nod. God he was such a cool boss.

"No don't misunderstand darling, it's a rock and roll record. With the scale of opera. The pathos of Greek tragedy, the wit of Shakespeare, the—unbridled joy of musical theatre. It's a musical experience. Rather than just another record, something for everyone something—something that will make people feel belongs to them. We'll mix genres, we'll cross boundaries, we'll—we'll—we'll speak in bloody tongues if we want to."

"There-there's no musical ghetto that can contain us." Proclaimed Roger.

"That's it." Freddie pointed towards Roger.

"No one knows what Queen means because it doesn't mean one thing." Deacy pointed out.

All was quiet, man I have a feeling that this album was gonna be the one that would put Queen on the map of the entire world, that after this they were gonna change the name of music forever.

"What do you think John?" Foster asked Mr. Reid.

"I—agree with the band."

"Of course you do." He then turned towards me and asked, "How about you uhh—" I was shocked that he wanted my opinion. I looked to the guys and they gave me an encouraging nod.

"(Y/n). Well—fortune favors the bold, does it not?" I felt Roger pat my shoulder. Freddie then leaned against Foster's desk as he said.

"Surely a man of your—unique taste. Isn't afraid of a little risk?" Foster debated before finally saying.

"Please don't make me regret this."

"You're fun." Freddie pointed out with a grin.

After the meeting, Jim called me into his office and I said as I peeked into it.

"You wished to see me sir?"

"Yes c'mon in (y/n). Have a seat." I took a seat in front of his desk. "Alright (y/n), now it's come to my attention that since you and the boys have gotten so close with each other since you started working here, I feel it's best that since I can't go with them to Rockfield due to my legal matters here as their lawyer, that I'm electing you to go with them to keep an eye on them."

I was flabbergasted. Me? Go with them to Rockfield studios?

"M—Mr. Beach....."

"Miami." Wow he did he really just ask me to call him that. "Freddie's insisted that you refer to me as that from now on." Ahh that Freddie Mercury.

"Miami. I mean it's an honor but I—I don't think I can go away for that long. I mean....."

"Please (y/n). You know as well as I do that Paul has no good intentions when it comes to Queen." That I do. Ever since working with the boys, I've had a sickening feeling about Paul Prenter. There was just something about him that felt—slimy, ill, almost like a virus.

"Yeah."

"There's no other person I would trust more to go with the boys to the farm. Plus they all believe that you should go with them anyway so it's out of my hands either way."

"I'll think about it."

"Just make sure you tell them in two days' time when they leave for the recording." I nodded and stood up. "Oh wait, one more thing. Your paycheck." He then took out his checkbook and wrote down my pay for the 2 weeks. I thanked him but when I looked down, my eyes widened.

"Wait uhh—Miami. This....this is double the normal amount you pay me."

"I know."

"I agreed to be paid 500 pounds."

"It's come to my attention there's some financial struggle you're going through. The boys wouldn't explain it in full detail but they made me aware that you were in dire need of it. Plus I know they can be a lot to handle, so you deserve 1000 anyway." I looked down but couldn't help the small smile across my face.

"Thank you—Miami." He smiled and nodded at me and I left his office with my raised paycheck. As I walked across the hall, I saw the boys go from the snooping position to trying to act nonchalantly, like they weren't spying on me. "I know you four had something to do with this." I said raising my check.

"We have no idea what you're talking about (n/n)." said Brian as he looked over his six-pence coin that served as his guitar pick.

"So you're coming with us right?" asked Freddie.

"I—I'll get back to you on that. I—I need to talk to Kay about it."

"I'm sure she'll let you come with us. C'mon love just say you'll be coming with us." Roger said as he came up and wrapped his arms around me.

"Besides you'll be much better company than Prenter. I'll go mad if I have to see him every day while we're there." Said Deacy.

"Exactly Deacy!" agreed Roger.

So that night after work, I was in Kaylee's room and I told her about what I was going to do for the summer and she was psyched for me.

"I say you go!" she proclaimed.

"But what about you?" I asked. She reached over and took my hand and she said.

"You've been doing too much for me. You've always put me over yourself. And this is your last chance to be a free kid before you start thinking about college. So please for my sake go with them. If not I'll never let you live it down. Ever."

"Okay, okay. I'll give Fred a call tomorrow and tell him."

"Call him tonight."

"Fine. And you're sure you'll be fine."

"Yes. I've got mum to look after me. And I expect new drawings, pictures and lots of stories from you when you get back."

"I promise Kay, thanks girl." She smiled as I leaned forward and we hugged each other.

In two days, the guys picked me up right at 4am on the dot so that way we'd get there by sunrise to the farm. Deacy put my bags in the trunk while I hugged and kissed my mum and sis goodbye.

"Now be sure to be good for these boys (y/n)."

"I will mum. Promise me to keep me updated on everything?"

"You know me, I'll be calling you every night." I smiled and separated from my mum before finally standing before my sister.

"Don't do anything insane till I get back." I told her. She smiled and scoffed playfully.

"How can I? You're taking all the insanity with you." I grinned back at her and the two of us embraced each other. "Have fun tigress."

"Be strong lioness."

"Oh come on let's get a move on! Anymore wasted time here and we'll be late!" I heard Paul cry out.

"Piss off Prenter! Let her say goodbye to her family." Brian sneered.

"Go on, don't want you to get into trouble." Kay said as we separated. I waved bye to them one last time and I got into the car with Rog and Deacy and soon we drove off.

"Since it'll be a long drive and it's still pretty early, why don't you try and go back to sleep (y/n)?" suggested Deacy. I nodded and leaned my head back against the car, but Deacy offered his shoulder for me to sleep on. I took his offer and in his playful jealous tone, Roger spoke up.

"What about me?"

"You fidget around too much on long car rides." I moaned tiredly.

"Why you little—"

"Face it Rog, she loves me more than you do when it comes to sleeping buddies. Isn't that right love?"

"Yeah." I heard Rog huff but then he said.

"Well at least I provide the best blankets." He emphasized that point by draping his fur coat over my shoulders as a blanket.

"Won't deny that though. You both take such good care of me."

"Only the best for you love." I nuzzled into Deacy's shoulder and exhaled tiredly through my nose and began to fall back asleep.

[maladaptive-ninja-returns]

Without Question (12)

Steve Rogers x fem!Reader

Content: the...walking dead? Like in a good way.

Warnings: …yes Steve!

Word Count: I wasn’t kidding when I said I want to live in a quiet town with my one cat and one dog and oh so fucking hopefully my lover. Lover! Wherefore art thou, lover? What seas must I cross to have ye look for stars in mine eyes and rest thy head in bosom? Huh, Lover?

MASTERLIST & Taglist in bio, my love

The peace that comes with the silence of the compound is not as comfortable as the residence had measured it would be in the past. The battles have been won. The deeds have been done. The ones who are lost have been mourned and the ones who have survived have walked past their guilt. The ones who keep the threads together now sit under the trees in the garden, looking into nothing, waiting for news- any news- that might stir them in some way that makes them figure out for themselves whether they're alive. But none comes in through the gate whatsoever.

Yet Natasha sits in the garden, her hands mingling with each other because they're not sure what else to do for now. She considers it a true miracle to have survived this much inactivity, still feeling herself jolt up in the seating under the tree when she sees Loki walk into the garden towards her.

"Any updates?" No one does it better than the Balck Widow bringing her composure to a still when required. Even Loki admires this of the redhead. You don't find such humans. You don't find such creatures anywhere for that matter who can replicate a perfectly functioning life form even when they’re broken to smithereens inside. Loki’s knows it all too well.

"I contacted Rocket and Danvers. The entire species has been annihilated throughout space. No sign of survivors. Even if there are," he mentions matter-of-factly, permitting himself to sit at a decent distance beside her, "they won't be enough to go about destroying planets."

She breathes. Her hands have paused the torture on each other, the fingers nearly running red from all the unwanted pressing and rubbing onto each other. Loki notices it too. Not that she’s trying to hide it.

“How is he?”

Natasha blinks, looking at the horizon- or maybe even further than that.

“He thinks it’s his fault,” she nearly croaks, “again. He thinks he could have stopped it. Even though he knows she would have still found a way. The fact that she turned to dust makes it worse.”

“And she did not want to lose any more of the love,” he mumbled in deep thought, making Natasha turn towards him.

He read her mind, she remembers the God’s ability before passing a soft smile. Loki sighs and looks out at the compound. The sunny weather with clearest of skies is bringing in birds on their road to migration, travelling by in perfect sync in the sky. The breeze carries with it the fresh and sweet scent of spring.

“I’m guessing he is keeping his promise?”

Natasha silently chuckles, the back of her index finger wiping something off the corner of her eye. “Yes,” she nods, turning to Loki with a tender smirk on her lips, “yes, he is.”

Both of them sit there for some more time, enjoying the silent yet fulfilling company, watching nature heal itself like it always does, while wondering what the future holds for them now.

.

The last bit of loose soil is patted by gloved hands into place. Untamed drops of sweat drip over the very ground, mixing in with the dirt before the hands break contact with the freshly prepared field, standing up to finally take a breather after a long day’s work.

The sun reflects sharply over Steve’s face as he watches the cherry blossom tree stand in its full glory right where it was always supposed to be. The breeze is already playmates with it in their playground, making it swing and dance under the bright yet soothing sun.

She’s beautiful. Steve chuckles to himself, if only so faintly in comparison.

“It’s stunning, I must say.”

Steve turns to find Loki standing a few feet away from him, admiring the little cherry blossoms tree, giving him a nod. “It is,” he acknowledges.

“How are you doing, Captain?”

Right to the concern. I like him. Steve gives a faint smile, removing his gloves, throwing them into the toolbox before keeping his hands on his hips. “I’m fine, Loki. What’re you doing here?”

Loki shrugs. “Just making sure you’re not wallowing in survivor’s guilt.”

Even though he is sharp and straight to the point- which pricks, really- Steve can’t help but find a shade of honest concern in his eyes. “As I said, I’m fine,” his words are nearly a whisper as he bends to gather the tools in the box, “and I’m sorry.”

Loki’s brows crinkle. “For what?”

Steve stands back up with the toolbox in his hand. “Sorry, there was no one when you were suffering through survivor’s guilt.”

The breeze passes between them, running an invisible hand through their hair, caressing their unspoken wounds and winding around their allyship, doing all that deemed it not necessary now to be spoken in words.

Steve walks back towards the house and a bark makes Loki turn to look in the direction of the forest. Stacie comes running through the wild field towards the God, barking her happy bark before coming to a halt at the tree, sniffing it to her heart’s content. He can hear a low whimper from her throat when she smells something familiar off the tree. Her paw scratches the trunk a little, her head snuggling with it for a few moments before coming to stand by Loki and sniff him.

“You miss her too,” he states, down on one knee to pet her, an involuntary smile finding its way on his lips. “I think she left you in charge of that one. Make sure he’s okay.”

Stacie huffs and wags her tail, happy to receive a scratch behind the ear when suddenly both she and Loki pause where they stand before standing in high alert.

Steve comes out with Stacie’s bowl and two beers, pausing at the porch on seeing both Loki and Stacie in defensive stances.

“What is it?” the Captain is curious now. 

Loki is still looking at the forest while Stacie has started to growl. All he does is raise his hand for Steve to stop. “Stay here,” Loki declares before vanishing into a light of gold and green.

Steve, reasonably, is left shocked and confused, walking to Stacie’s side, who is growing agitated, jumping and barking at something in the direction of the forest that he cannot see.

“What is it, Stace?” he asks softly, not peeling his eyes from the trees in front of him till a brilliant streak of gold and green out of space has Loki standing in front of him with another figure supported by his left arm.

A gasp escapes Steve when he recognises the long dark hair and metal that bounces the light off its surface, finding it hard to believe what his eyes are seeing.

 “Bucky!”

.

At first, it is a microscopic sensation which slowly turns into a coherent vibration. It is not comfortable until it is an unnecessary shiver running up and down your skin, forcing you to go into the fetal position. Still, the cold does not stop bothering you, gnawing at your skin, your flesh, every corner of your insides, even your heart.

Heart.

But it was not supposed to be cold in the void.

The shiver forces you to draw your limbs closer and makes you feel this unspoken rage at not being able to feel any heat.

Why?

Y/N.

I’m dead. I’m not supposed to feel cold.

Y/N?

Sleep. I am supposed to sleep now.

Y/N! Wake up!

No, let me sleep for a w-

“Y/N!”

A scream escapes your lungs at the jerk as your eyes jerk wide open at the sun way too bright for the shocked pupils before being blocked by a familiar face.

“Loki?”

You look at the God in question. Is he dead too?

“Yes,” he answers with a careful nod. “Can you get up?”

“Why?” As soon as the question escapes you, you know it does not make sense except for the fact that maybe your body just doesn’t want to. “Wait. Where are w-”

You stop yourself short when you notice the forest clearing- looking somewhat brighter and less murder-y under the spring sun.

“You’re home.”

Home.

But I was supposed to be…

“Oh no!” The sudden panic confuses Loki. “No no no! I am supposed to be dead!”

Loki tilts his head at you.

“I’m supposed to be dead! She promised she’ll bring Bucky back! Bucky’s the one who’s supposed to be alive.”

And suddenly it all makes sense. Love- makes us do the most outlandish things.

“I think we should go home,” he mentions gently, grabbing your full attention before inhaling a lungful and unclasping his cape, “and not to mention you are stark naked right in the middle of the forest, darling.”

You look down at your figure that is letting the sunlight dance all over it before feeling the heat rush to your cheeks as Loki covers you up.

“Oh.”

.

Natasha, Clint and Sam are already here as soon as Loki informs them of the news- never telling Steve they were already on their way to see how he was doing- not believing their eyes when they see Bucky sitting on your porch, taking in the sun and sounds like a newborn man. The hows and whats are set back for future interrogation, for right now, tight hugs and misty eyes take the room. 

The smile on Steve’s face is incurable. How many people can say their best friend gets to live even after death. Twice! What more could he want?

His heart knows.

So does some mysterious force in the universe, testing his emotions, when another streak of gold and green rips the space apart by the cherry blossom to give place to Loki and you resting all your weight on the former, wrapped in green.

Everything stops.

Every sound is on mute, every change is on pause, every inch of his skin that the breeze touches is numb. Nothing is sensed in the way of him taking you in. The y/h/c hair strands float in the breeze while your eyes glimmer in the direct light, looking at Steve. Only Steve. The hitch in your breath gives him hope that you are real when he starts to walk towards you. The movement of your feet towards him raises it even more. The lone tear escaping your eye sets the truth in stone, forcing him to take two long steps to cover the distance and have you in his arms. “Y/N,” he nearly sobs your name, finally making it a reality for himself.

His arms. You wrap your arms around his torso as tightly as you can, breathing in the familiar scent. His scent. This is real. The heartbeat. The relieved breaths and deep kisses in your hair. Real. You are back. You are home.

“Steve,” your voice softly reverberated through each other’s existence, making them hold on to each other tighter, bringing everything that was on pause- majorly his entire life- back to normalcy.

His arms break the hold they have on you to take your face in them while yours try to keep the cape in place, something that doesn’t miss his eyes.

“Are you-” he lowers his broken voice when his eyes see it- “are you naked under there?”

You nod, smiling sheepishly through the tears. “I love you,” you don’t waste any time. Not this time, getting on your toes to get closer to his lips.

He reciprocates with a deep kiss, letting go of your jaw from one hand to secure his arm around your waist. His lips, soft and supple, tasting of apples and cinnamon, slowly turn a little rough to push his tongue through your chapped yet tender lips. His hand goes into your tousled hair to bring you closer when the tongues discover each other once again with a need to declare their love for each other, only letting go when there is no more room for air.

“I love you too,” Steve breathes as soon as your lips part, his calm ocean gazing directly into your eyes. “God,” he closes his eyes and rests his forehead on yours, never letting go of you- not this time- “I love you so much. Please don’t leave me like this. Ever.”

You chuckle, the tears never stopping. “I won’t,” you sniffle, “I promise.”

You wrap your arms- this time with the cape- around him, closing your eyes to rest your head on his chest.

Home.

“Not this time.”

The rest of the gang sits on the porch appreciating the relief you have brought them and their Captain and yet looking everywhere else with stretched smiles on their faces, holding a very excited Stacie in place.

“So, she’s the reason I’m alive?” a very curious Bucky asks the rest of the group.

“Yup,” Clint answers, opening the beer bottle Steve left on the ground, “she’s the one. The reason all of us are alive, I guess.”

“She’s the reason he’s alive,” Natasha hums, sharing a knowing look with Loki- who simpers in return, “again.”

[btsvt-adventures]

hello it's me again! i mean i kinda wanna see jihan finally end up together in the snowboarding au! i know you may have a lot of requests right now but i'd love to see this! thank you~ ♡ (i'm a diehard jihan shipper aaaa)

A/n: aaaa you’re so sweet haha I don’t actually have that many requests but thank you for sending this in!! 💜 I love that you’re such a fan of my snowboarding AU hehehe 💜💜 Also I’m so thankful that you’ve been so patient with me omg I haven’t written in so long I had to go read my own post to remember my plot smh but tonight, at 1:58am, I. WILL. FINISH. THIS.

Update: it’s 5am and I still havent’t finished it RIP.

5:10am: FINALLY DONE YAAAAASSSS

Want more of this AU? Ask me here!

Snowboarding AU : Falling in the snow | A Warm Cup of Chocolate | (Almost) Frozen Kisses | Snowflakes & Cherry Blossoms | White (Maybe) Weddings | Here Come the Groom(s)

Jisoo wakes up in the morning just before his alarm, sighing as he sees the snow falling gently outside

Yesterday’s lesson had gone considerably better, although Jisoo still ended up crashing into multiple piles of snow, netting and well… Jeonghan (yes, again)

It wasn’t his fault, okay?! The girls wanted to go on a ski lift on their own, so Jisoo and Jeonghan were seated behind, together. Eunwoo had struggled a little getting off the lift, shrieking with glee as she whooshed gracefully round the corner

Jisoo on the other hand, panicked. He got off the lift and focused so hard on not crashing, he didn’t realize that he’d cornered Jeonghan into the padded pillar that supported the ski lift

Jeonghan hits the pillar with a muted thud, and Jisoo turns around in another bout of panic, because oh my gOD i juST senT JeongHAn INTO A PILLAR –

He’d obviously crashed right after that, nearly (actually) faceplanting at the feet of his cackling daughters, who made absolutely no move to help him up. 

Despite the incident, Jeonghan had invited him and his daughters for dinner, treating them to some of the freshest grilled trout Jisoo had ever eaten

Jisoo sighs. He doesn’t want to go home. He wants to stay here, cuddled up with his daughters and his new (hopefully mutual) love interest

But he’s also really thankful it’s the last day of their little ski getaway. As much as it makes his girls happy, and as much as he enjoys spending time with Jeonghan, he’s too old to be bad at something like snowboarding

(He’s not really that old he’s just exhausted and embarrassed of all the bruises and teasing he’s gotten in the last three days)

The girls wake up excitedly, but it quickly turns sour when they realize it’s their last day on the slopes. Jisoo wants them to enjoy it, but it’s hard when they’re both throwing a tantrum about not getting to go back out again tomorrow 

Jeonghan, on the other hand, would rather cancel their last snowboarding lesson in favour of just spending the day with Jisoo and his beautiful girls. He wants to be a part of their little family dynamic

It’s an odd feeling. He’s had boyfriends (and girlfriends) before, but he’s never fallen this hard, this fast. It’s… well, terrifying. He’s afraid that his infatuation with Jisoo is just that, and he really doesn’t want it to be

It’s ten minutes from the start of their lesson when they hear a deafening CRACK! and everyone jumps, some shouting in surprise

Jisoo immediately fears the worst, frowning when the girls point excitedly at how the snow is making swirlies in the sky

 He has a hunch that the girls are about to be even more upset than they were this morning (regular snowfall does not make any kind of swirlies in the sky)

True enough, he spots Jeonghan walking towards them, looking unusually serious. The girls are oblivious, faces pressed to the window as they watch the snowstorm create patterns they’ve never seen.

“I’m so sorry Jisoo,” Jeonghan murmurs quietly, glancing forlornly at the twins. “The snowstorm is wrecking havoc outside,” he whispers

Jisoo’s heart sinks into his stomach

They both silently watch the girls marvel at the gradually worsening storm, until all they can see is a sheet white

Nayoung’s the first one to realize something’s wrong, tugging at Jeonghan’s pants quietly. “Ssaem, is it dangerous to go outside?” she asks, bottom lip quivering as the possibility (reality) sets in

Jeonghan takes a deep breath, lifting Nayoung into his lap for a cuddle. Jisoo sits Eunwoo in his lap, and tries to comfort her as they break the news as gently as they can

The girls are inconsolable, and Jisoo feels worse than when that woman walked out of his life

He hates seeing his princesses upset, and hates even more that there’s absolutely nothing he can do about it

Jeonghan, as of late it seems, wipes away the girls’ tears and smiles gently – Angelically, Jisoo thinks, suppressing a fond sigh when his daughters’ wailing is almost immediately reduced to sniffles

“Don’t be too upset, it means you get one extra lesson with ssaem for free!” he beams at the girls, and they blink up at him, confused

Jisoo laughs, resting his hand over Jeonghan’s, warmth bubbling when he curls his fingers around Jisoo’s own

“What Jeonghan is trying to say is, because we can’t snowboard today, it means we can come back another weekend,” he explains, and the twin gasps almost make the awful snowstorm outside worth it

“You can come every weekend if you want,” Jeonghan grins cheekily, and Jisoo glares playfully at the blonde instructor

“Only if you’re willing to take time off to spend with us,” he answers sweetly, too-sweet grin gracing his handsome features, and Jeonghan snorts so hard he nearly chokes

“Anything for you and these princesses,” he agrees, ruffling both girls’ hair, grinning wider when they look at him adoringly

“Besides, now that snowboarding’s out, how bout we play some games? I saw some board games in your room last night,” Jeonghan singongs

(in that moment, Jisoo knew he was royally fucked. It’s impossible to love someone in only three days… right????) 

Jisoo’s pretty much yanked out of his seat as the girls haul ass back to their room, chattering excitedly about beating Hannie samchon (when the hell did he go from ssaem to samchon?!) in Monopoly and UNO

(Jeonghan does lose consistently, but only because he can’t find it in him to win after everything that’s happened)

The girls are tired out by four, curled up in bed with each other, and both men slump onto the sofa, breathing a sigh of relief

“You’re so good with them,” Jisoo murmurs, curling up into Jeonghan’s side. It’s warm, and Jeonghan’s comfortable, and Jisoo’s almost ready for his own little nap

Jeonghan laughs quietly, pressing a fond kiss to Jisoo’s hair. “Only because you raised them well,” he hums. “By the way, you should come stay with me when you come up from Seoul, it’ll save you some money too.”

Jeonghan’s hoping, praying it doesn’t come off as being too forward. The last thing he wants is to scare the single father away. Jisoo grins, leaning up to kiss Jeonghan softly

“I’d love that,” he whispers, and Jeonghan kisses Jisoo again, just cos he can

The rest of winter goes like that, with Jisoo driving up to the ski resort and spending the weekend with Jeonghan

The girls are ecstatic to play in the soft, fluffy snow every weekend, even sneaking in some lessons on the slopes

(On those days, Jisoo sits safely in a café, away from the bruises and accidents, sipping his coffee and reading a book)

Jeonghan finishes his season early for the first time since he started working, much to the surprise of everyone literally no one at the ski resort

It was the girls’ last weekend at the resort before school started, and Jeonghan wanted to spend more… private time with Jisoo

They had spent the day making snowangels with the girls, which somehow evolved into an intense snowball fight

After exhausting themselves throwing balls of frozen water at each other, and some much needed hot showers, they’re seated around the table with hot chocolates and fried chicken on the table

It’s peaceful, and Jisoo couldn’t be more content. Jeonghan just fit with their little family, and the thought fills him with a happiness he never thought he’d find again …

“Hey, hannie, wanna come with us to see the cherry blossoms?”

“Fuck yes”

“SAMCHON SAID A BAD WORD!!!”

“DADDY!!!!! SAMCHON SAID THE WORD!!”

“JEONGHAN!!! LANGUAGE!!”

… somewhat peaceful, at least

Please like and reblog

If you’d like more of this AU, or your own lil thing, of if you just wanna yell at me, you can do so here~

[blackphoenixalchemylab]

New Perfume Blends: Fatherhood 2018

Ahead of our kid's tenth birthday, the Lab released this collection of scents inspired by memories from the past year. As is customary, Lilith's dad (and Black Phoenix Trading Post proprietor) Ted Barrial has followed up with a tribute of his own: FATHERHOOD 2018, a batch of fifteen perfume oil blends. 

You'll find those descriptions and links below!

++ FATHERHOOD 2018

This September 2nd, my heart, my joy, my baby turned double digits. It feels like yesterday that I first held her in my arms at the hospital. I have watched her grow into a wise, polite, adventurous, funny, smart, fierce little woman, and I couldn’t be prouder of her. These images capture the moments that defined fatherhood for me in the last year. Every moment that I spend with her is special; I hope she feels the same, and that she looks back on this part of her life with all the love and happiness that she brings to me.

THREE-FINGERED DAD

Sometimes I wonder how Lilith views me.

Am I the authority figure?

Her goofy playmate?

Am I the father that drives her all over Los Angeles?

It appears that I am the skinny three-fingered man.  I believe that she captured me perfectly. Don’t you?

Red and white musks, orange blossom, neroli, and sweet vanilla amber.

ZIPLINE PART II

We all love to go to Ren Faire, and they have a zip line there. If I remember correctly, it is one ride for $5, $20 for 5 rides, and $40 for unlimited rides for all day.

Lilith gave me her best, “Dad, I love you and I would like to do the $40 all day” face – big eyes and all - and how could I say no? Long story short (too late!), we rode the zip line so many times that the operators knew our names.

This photo is one of my favorite photos from the last year. She looks so confident, tough, and sure of herself here, while I look like I just survived twenty zip line rides. She makes me so proud to be her father.

Pirate’y rum cookies, hay bales, leftover bits of funnel cake, and Renaissance Faire patchouli.

FAMILY RESEMBLANCE

A quiet moment between a father and his daughter. We might be related.

A splash of Tombstone, red velvet musk, and a red licorice whip.

LILITH POUNDCAKE

Lilith loves RuPaul’s Drag Race, and she thought it would be fun to dress up for Drag Con 2018 as Lil Poundcake. I made a promise to her when she was tiny that I would carry her on my shoulders for as long as she wanted me to, and I am pretty positive that I will carry her down the aisle for her wedding. As I carried her around Drag Con, and I would hear people whisper, “oh my god, it’s Lil poundcake.” Some people would yell “Lil Poundcake!” and she would happily flip them off in character. When people would stop us and ask to take a photo, I would set Lilith down, give her the boa, and she would pose for the photo. Then she’d hop back on my shoulders and we’d continue on our way. Ah, the life of a dad. I wouldn’t give it up for anything.

Dorian smushed into a cherry lollipop.

SPORTSMANSHIP

If there is one thing that my loving daughter has learned from me, it is to always be humble in victory.

The scent of shameless gloating: sparkling honey and a hint of salty biscuit.

PUPPET KITTY

One of the hardest parts of being a father is when your child loses something important to them.

Puppet Kitty is the most treasured of all of Lilith’s plushies, and earlier this year Puppet Kitty went missing. The panic of losing her consumed Lilith, and we all searched and searched for PK. It broke my heart when we finally stopped looking and had to just hope that she would show up sometime soon.

I cried when I found Puppet Kitty, and my heart melted when I saw look on Lilith’s face when I handed it Puppet Kitty back to her.

Every night, Lilith sprays lavender mist onto Puppet Kitty before going to sleep. This is the scent of that kitty: old, well-loved cotton, wool blankets, and gentle lavender skin-warmed by a sleeping child.

TRUTH WILL PREVAIL

Back in 2016, we had made plans, a bit premature as it turned out, to travel to Washington D.C. to see the first woman sworn in as president of the United States of America. It was not to be, but we Barrials are nothing if not flexible. Along with some our best friends, we decided to travel to the Capitol to protest the vile man that is ruining our great country.

A year later, she rode my shoulders again at the first anniversary of the Womens’ March in Los Angeles.

With my beautiful daughter on my shoulders, we marched, we shouted, we made our voices heard again.

Truth will prevail.

A scent of power and courage for my daughter: sweet milk and cardamom with vanilla pod and nutmeg.

THE CLOWN PRINCESS OF CRIME

Sometimes, I see a photo of Lilith and just want to add it to the Fatherhood update. I have tried and tried to write something about this photo but I have not found the right words.

Maybe I will just say that I love Lilith and I think she is beautiful here.

Lime hard candy, bubblegum lollipops and sugar plums.

GOOGLY EYE CHRISTMAS TREE

We love googly eyes almost as much as we love Christmas morning at Casa Barrial, and last year, we were able to merge both of them together.

I love watching Lilith’s face and she races downstairs to see what Krampus and Santa might have left under our pink Christmas tree and what kind of candy La Bafana left in our shoes.

The scent of a Googly Eye Christmas Tree: pink cotton candy, silver tinsel, cinnamon cookies, and white chocolate snow.

LILITH THE EXPLORER

Lilith has been flying since she was a little over a year old. Her first plane trip was to New Orleans, and since then, she has been all over the world. She has slept on the floor at the airport in Mexico City and Minneapolis, she has eaten airport junk in New York, Frankfurt, and Chicago. It feels like she knows LAX and Heathrow almost as well as she knows her own house. Sometimes I think she’s happier about flying itself than she is about exploring a city!

This photo was taken at the airport on one of our trips. I love this outfit… Rolling Stones concert tee, stripy tights, boots with fuzzy balls on it. Lilith might not think this photo is good because her hair is a bit messy, but I love looks of happiness that a hot dog and a giant pretzel bring to her face. It took a bit of persuasion to get her to share it, but dad has his ways.

The first time I saw her wear this tee, I told her that I went to that concert and I that I think that I had the same t-shirt back in ‘76.

She looked at me and asked, “1876?”

It’s probably not the best idea to make a hot dog scent, even though Beth keeps making jokes about hot dog water, so we made a Airport Garbage Snacks scent with coffee, airplane nuts, and squished Backpack Chocolate Residue.

NO DNA TEST REQUIRED

One of the biggest joys of my life is holding hands and walking with Lilith. My lovely wife is always walking behind us taking these photos, and I love how you can see Lilith growing up over the years.

Lilith, please never stop holding my hand.

Dorian holding hands with Slime Queen, with Snake Oil happily trailing behind.

SHOOT THE DUCK

Lilith did her first roller skating trick, and I was so proud.

Wild fig, tonka bean, bergamot, and hardwood.

SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL QUEENS

Lilith has loved drag for many years, and when she goes to drag shows, she’s a great tipper. She knows how hard drag queens work, and knows how important it is to support the drag community both locally and worldwide.

This is the scent of everyone else’s spilled drinks at drag brunch: blood peach bellinis, strawberry daquiris, and mimosas.

MY LITTLE POP STAR

Back in the good ol’ days, I was a singer in quite a few bands. Being up on stage was an amazing feeling, but it doesn’t hold a candle to watching my baby singing and seeing the way she lights up when she’s on stage.

I love to listen to her sing and I think she has a lovely voice, but nothing makes me prouder that having someone comment about how beautiful her voice is. This photo is just before she played with her band, and I love how she is so comfortable and happy to be in front of an audience.

A rockstar scent for a tween: leather, vanilla bean, honey sticks, and sugar.

SNOWFLAKES ARE DELICIOUS

I don’t have much to say about this photo except it was Lilith’s first time in Chicago, her first time to see it snow and her first time catching snowflakes.

I love her dearly.

[writing-freestyle]

model!irene

i haven’t updated in so long, i’m so sorry!

when she first became a model, people were like… that face can't be real. it's photoshop or smth, it's so perfect

BUT NOPE

irene is literally just that beautiful

models for cosmetics, not really clothes too much

but when she does model for clothing lines, whatever she wore sold out in under five minutes

no one believes she’s a day over 20 when they first see her, they're always like…. ur either drinking straight outta the fountain of youth or ur really just that young

but they stop saying that when they see her with newbie model!yeri, because….. she's a whole mom

babies the hell outta yeri, and even though yeri is like… irene, pls…. i’m an adult

she still eats the crust-free, dinosaur shaped sandwhiches irene brings her with the biggest smile on her face

and that smile is the reason irene babies her so much

irene lives to make other people happy, and it's this trait that makes you fall super hard for her

ur an employ at the company irene is signed with, and it's not like ur in her immediate team or anything like that

u just recieve requests from people that want to work with the agency’s models, and it's ur job to sort out the request and either assign them a model if they haven't specified, or make sure the requests reach the desk of the specific model’s team

and it's a really good job! u like it, especially since an organized environment is what you love most in the world, and that's basically what ur doing for a living

but sometimes it gets stressful

bc the agency is so huge, it requires everyone to be on their a game at all times, and since it's basically just you doing the sorting, it can be…. overwhelming

and especially in the few months or so before spring is when it gets real hectic

because everyone wants models for photoshoots with blooming flowers and falling cherry blossoms

which you’ve handled before, it should be no big deal, and this year should be no different

but for some reason

when you go to work one day

you just….. can't

it's not like you sit at your desk and do nothing, but it's more like you're trying to do things, but keep making mistakes you’ve never made before

when it's an hour before your lunch break, you send out two stacks of requests, one for irene’s team, and one for seulgi’s team, because those two usually are more opinionated on which jobs they take on, and they'll probably need more time than yeri, joy, and wendy combined to decide

and ur like ‘cool, the requests are on their way, i need to stop stressing and chill a little, i got this.’

but right as you say this, an intern walks into ur office and looks kinda…. concerned?

and u know it's the intern from seulgi’s team, so ur like…. what happened with the requests, is something wrong?

and the intern kinda mumbles at first cause they don't want you to be upset, but eventually you make out that they're trying to tell you that…. irene and seulgi’s request still haven't been recieved

wat

“what do you mean they weren't recieved?”

“like… we got the message that we’d be recieving them today at 11:00 am, but….. we never got it.”

and you just snap because

oh my god

this is a major mistake, and you're going to be the one to take the blame

you tell the intern that you're going to fix it, and to go tell both seulgi’s and irene’s teams that it’ll be there soon

they nod and leave, and you begin to scavenge through all the scrunched up and tossed away notes to try and decipher which brand wanted who and what day and time and the benefits they offer with each job

and it's literal hell, because all your notes are so vague, because you immediately wrote them down on the official request forms for irene and seulgi so you wouldn't have to rewrite it later and waste time

without even realizing, lunch is long gone and it's nearing time for you to get off work

but there are at least ¼ of the requests missing from each girls’ pile and you're full on sobbing bc….. this sucks

and you're so stressed that you don't even realize someone entered your office until they timidly knock on the surface of your desk

you're somewhere between shocked and scared when you see it's irene, because a) you didn't even know she knew where your office was? and b) was she there to yell at you or fire you? because you will cry even harder if that's the case

but nah

before you can do anything, irene sets down a plastic container on your desk and pulls out a fork and a bottle of water from her purse and puts those in front of you as well

and that's when she really gets on ur fucking uwus, because she opens the container to reveal some crust-less, dinosaur shaped sandwiches with a fruit cup in the shape of stars on the side

“you didn't come out of your office all day, and the delivery guy didn't have your usual order when he stopped by the office earlier, so i….”

she kinda motions to the food, and looks down sheepishly, and ur all sorts of “wat” on the inside bc????

is irene a literal angel? probably

you thank her profusely and tell her she didn't have to do this, but she just gives you the softest smile and goes:

“i heard about what happened today. it's not your fault, but you're probably kicking yourself like it is. i just wanted to make sure you're not beating yourself up over this, because it makes me sad when you're stressed like that.”

irene has to leave shortly after that because she has a night shoot for this brand that came out with a new line of evening gown’s and irene was begged to model for it

but she makes sure to leave her number on your desk and tells you to text her if you're ever stressed and need someone to talk to

or if you wanna go on a taco date with her, but she says that part in her head bc she's like…. it's too soon for me to be this forward with them

sure enough, you do text irene a few days later, but it's not cause you're stressed

you actually ask her out to dinner to repay her for her kindness earlier

irene, in a meeting with her team, recieving ur text asking her out on saturday

manager: “what about this quick photoshoot for armani on saturday bc they're a top brand, and we really shouldn't say no to that??”

irene, feeling her heart ready to burst out of her chest: “no, i’m going to be living my dreams on saturday, k, bye :)”

you let irene pick the restaurant, and you thought it was gonna be fancy and expensive, bc, hello, super famous model??

but instead she goes “i know this taco truck”

if you weren't already in love with her at that point, YOU SURE AS HELL ARE NOW

so, you guys are sitting on this park bench at 11 pm

with four plates of tacos between the two of you

and you guys are telling stories and cracking jokes, and it’s honestly the best date either of you have ever been on

and at the end, irene just kinda lays her head on your shoulder and sighs so happily

“thank you for this, it’s been awhile since i’ve had this much fun.”

“maybe we could do this again sometime, then?”

irene suddenly snaps her head up to look at you with wide eyes, and is like “SERIOUSLY? OMG, CAUSE I HAD SUCH A GREAT TIME BUT I DIDN’T KNOW IF YOU HAD FUN TOO!”

“irene.... ur literally the human embodiment of happiness, i can’t be anything but in a good mood when i’m around u.”

something in irene just melts, and she’s like so happy that she pulls you in this giant hug and just starts to ramble about how happy she is and

and then she’s just like “i’m so happy you had fun, because i really like you, like a lot, and i would’ve been real sad if you didn’t have fun”

you just giggle and go “i like you too, okay? you can stop being so nervous now.”

and she relaxes and smiles, grabs your hand, entwine it with hers, and the two of you continue to talk and get to know each other even more

and that’s how you two start dating

y’all are the mom couple, y’all already knew this was coming

cutting fun shapes into yeri’s food so she thinks it's more exciting to ear her fruits and vegetables? check.

making sure joy doesn't break that vvv expensive vase while y’all are visiting locations for potential photoshoot’s? check.

helping wendy translate her thoughts properly when she’s too flustered to do so? check.

putting bandaids onto seulgi’s scrapes when she attempts to do some sport and takes it a little too seriously? check.

you two are just the resident angels, and everyone looks up to you two?? aspiring to be as great as you and irene are?

you two are really making the world a better place, bless

and you two take really good care of each other too! always making sure the other is eating properly and if the other is stressed that they have a shoulder to cry on or a person to love them unconditionally

it's gr8, and the rv members are so happy that irene has found someone with just as much love in their heart as she does, and isn't afraid to tell irene she's the love of their life every day

concept: irene has now taken a habit to eating lunch in your office. occasionally, the other rv members join too, but irene comes every day at noon with two sets of food and the biggest smile on her face. she always says that you're the best part about coming to work now.

[zombiiesque]

Nocturne Alchemy NEW Studio Limiteds!

Originally published 1/28/2018

In December, Nocturne Alchemy introduced several new Studio Limiteds - Anniversaries, Ombres. and "single notes". I recently nabbed a bunch on my wishlist and I haven't written a proper review in FOREVER, so I thought I would post my first impressions.

Quick note - these babies take more time to fully develop their personalities than the regular LC/PC perfumes, because I feel like the quality of notes is even finer, so I will need to revisit this in about a month or so when they've had time to fully develop.

I picked up Sky Amber too, one of the two new offerings of Royal Ambers from the grand reopening, and I had previously grabbed Temple Amber, so now I have both of them and I can honestly say they are both amazing and totally different. If you are looking for an alternative to Eternal Ankh and want a good vanilla and amber combination, I would strongly recommend Sky Amber. It has that gorgeous Royal Amber base, and it just melds into gorgeousness with the vanilla used in this offering. I for some reason cannot wear the original version of Eternal Ankh, it just doesn't work on my skin (I HAS THE SAD), so I'm super excited to have an alternative. I did spring for the Eternal Ankh Anniversary and that one is a huge win for me, so I can't be too upset. And Temple Amber? Oh. OH. That one, in a very short review, feels ANCIENT. It feels like lighting the fires sacred to the Gods, so if you are into that kind of thing, it's a must, I wear it a lot when I'm feeling the need for a strong spiritual connection, and it's amazing. It features a strong smoky vetiver note, and that's usually a huge no for me but it works here and I'm considering a backup.

So, let me give y'all some quick first impressions.

Crystalline Dark: Beautiful aged Crystalline blended into dark notes of Black Amber, Black Musk and Black Vanilla, blended and aged two years in an oak barrel. Apply SL Originals Crystalline to heighten the vanilla experience.

Okay, OH EM EFFING GEE. I love Crystalline. Of all of the vanilla SLs, it was my first love, and my first foray into NA vanillas, and it was an instant win for me.This? This is Crystalline made super sexy, wearing big black stompy boots. The black musk is sublime here, not overly animalistic, just perfectly musky, and the black amber and black vanilla are so grown up, little black dress, I have an image in my head of what this woman looks like and she's both sexy and defiant. This is fun. This one is a total win already, so I imagine with age it's just going to get better.

Pink Quartz: Pink Vanilla Blossom, Crystalline, Crimson Egyptian Musk, Bastet’s White Amber Absolute and a minimal drop of aged Oak.

Okay, this one is definitely PINK. Very feminine, a pink vanilla musk. For me it will require some grounding, so I'll be trying it with for instance Pteranodon, or maybe a bit of Hessonite. It's a bit too far in the feminine zone for me, but the SLs have the bonus of being wonderfully paired with their other mates, so layering these is a no brainer. It is very beautifully done, and I'm hoping for a bit more of the other elements coming out to play with age, so I'll catch y'all up in a few weeks as it ages.

Pyramid Santalum: Four aged Sandalwood perfumes by Nocturne Alchemy, blended together in different quantities to create an aromatic sandalwood symphony. When worn the sandalwood notes will vary in scent dependent on the wearer. Santalum, Santalum White, Santalum Sweet and Mysore Santalum.

Ooooh. Okay, I wasn't completely sure about Santalum when I first got it, but it aged so gloriously I fell hard. And Santalum White was pretty much an instant win. This is an altogether different Santalum, it has that familiar feel, with the elements of Santalum and Santalum White, but this is incredible right off the bat. It's somehow lighter than Santalum, not as bleached and summery as Santalum White, so easily wearable. I can only imagine how well this is going to age, y'all. This is another that I feel is instant backup worthy. If you love sandalwood, I'm here to tell you, you need it.

And I recently added Crimson. A single note with accents given to enhance. A pure Egyptian Red Musk that is a skin musk the envelopes the wearer in a sheer, deep and aromatic scent that binds with the natural warmth of the skin and is both alluring and unisexual. The colour is a rich vibrant red from the Red Musk petals used during the perfume process. Apply sparingly to enjoy the natural colour of the red musk petals. A very soft ethereal perfume.

This. This is between the sexy red musk of Kashmir, and the ethereal Egyptian Musk. It's clean, and more present than Egyptian Musk, which is considerably lighter and more of a skin musk. It's slightly spicy, and oh so beautifully done. I actually paired it with Bastet's Potion Number 23 from the Holiday update and it was amazing. And it layered well with Pyramid Santalum, too. Oh. So beautiful. If Kashmir is a bit too forward for you, Crimson may be the red musk you seek. I'm personally in love with both, and they are different enough from each other to warrant owning both.

From the new Ombres, I chose Oud Ombre #23: Exotic Indian grown Oud aged in Black Oak, NA Oudh ICON Absolute, Perfume Attar of Rare Black Amber, Black Patchouli Amber, Black Frankincense and Black Myrrh.

Hnnnnnng I love the Ombres, and I love oudh. Oh Gods. This is going to need some time to develop, but it has that dark incredible Ombre base, and the oudh is so smoky and sexy and gorgeous, this is going to be a favorite, right next to Santal Ombre. But it definitely needs some aging to reach its full potential, so if you aren't impressed straight out of the mail, give it a few weeks. I've had it for 4 days and I can see the potential already. YES.

And I have an original bottle of Fig Noir Ombre, so I thought I would give my impressions of that as well. Green Fig aged, Black Fig Essence aged, sweet Fig Leaf, a clove left in and then removed (subtle, but necessary), Perfume Attar of Rare Black Amber, Black Patchouli Amber, Black Frankincense and Black Myrrh. New 2017 version.

I haven't smelled the new version, but this is a deep fig, chewy, and sexy with the Ombre base. This is a sexy fig, if that's somehow possible, NA did it. It's a wrap dress and stacked heels. Yassss. If you like NA fig, GET IT. I'm going to grab a new bottle to age, myself. I love it so much.

So there you have it. Also in my order were Eternal Egypt Anniversary, which is a deeper, woodier version of Eternal Egypt, and gorgeous in its own right. Emerson, which is a cozy, comforting, beautiful scent. And Eternal Underworld, a cherry that is not cough syrup, but resinous amber and oh so well done, I would not have thought I would love a cherry scent this much but I'm pretty obsessed.

[scripturient-kpopfan]

The Mysterious Instagrammer (Part 3)

❄Pairing: Kim Taehyung x Reader

❄Genre: Fluff, Romance

❄Warnings: none

~🌸~🌸~🌸~🌸~🌸~🌸~🌸~🌸~🌸~🌸~

(Reader’s POV)

It’s been about five minutes since I found out who this guy really is. He’s been suggesting to me that we should go inside the cafe since it’s cold outside, but I’m still too shocked to say anything. Jeez, this is so embarrassing. There I was, getting ready to expose this guy for posing as one of kpop’s most beloved idols. I was so confident this morning, but now? All of that confidence is washed away, and is instead replaced by slight intimidation and awe.

“Are you okay? Do you need to go to the doctors or something?” V asks with concern written all over his face. I scoff at that.

“Are you mocking me or something? Don’t act so caring right now! Listen, I know I probably look like the biggest idiot right now, but you can’t blame me for being suspicious in the first place. How often is it that you hear that an idol contacted a fan over social media? Never! So you can’t--”

“Do you always talk this much when you’re embarrassed?”

…

“W-what?” Is all I can manage to say. I yelled at him, accused him of mocking me, and almost slandered his very name. What did he do? He asked me if this was my normal reaction to feeling embarrassed. I’m not able to find the right words to describe how I’m feeling at the moment. All I know is that this is the first time anyone has cornered me.

He seems to sense how stunned I am at the moment, and instead of making fun of me, he simply smiles and starts walking towards the cafe. I unconsciously start to follow him inside, not realizing what I’m doing due to my current state of mind. He’s kind, there’s no questioning that. When a lousy girl starts yelling at him for telling the truth, all he does is smile at her and care about her wellbeing. This wasn’t how I wanted our first encounter to go.

Oh crap. That’s right. This is the first time we’ve ever met.

I let out a slight gasp as my face turns a bright red. “Listen, V, I just wanted to say that I-I’m sor--”

“It’s okay.” Another smile is sent my way. How is this boy so full of happiness? If I were in his place… If I had to go on tour, practice a crap ton, smile even when I wasn’t satisfied with my performance, and be nice to incredibly aggravating fans, I don’t think I’d be able to remain that happy in life. To make matters worse, I just screamed at him in public for “humiliating” me. “It’s okay.” He repeats himself when he notices my eyes start to waver. All I can do in return is nod. “For now, let’s head inside and get something to drink? I don’t know about you, but I sure am thirsty!” V holds the door open for me, I thank him, and we both head inside.

This is the first time I actually pay attention to the way the cafe looks. It has a nice pastel tint to it with a mix of hearts and stars lined along the windows and the big oak door. I admire the aesthetic view. Cherry blossoms ride the currents of the wind as they blow past the small building, It truly is a view to appreciate. On the inside, little oak tables and chairs sit in the center of the room. The walls are painted a faint shade of pink with yellow and blue stars. It’s a cute building, and I can’t believe I’ve never been here before.

“Table for two?” A girl in a maid uniform asks as she approaches us. V nods his head, and the waitress takes us to a table off to the far right of the room next to a small window. “May I start you two off with anything to drink?”

“I’ll take hot chocolate please.” I tell the waitress with a smile.

“Same for me please.” V replies. Instead of looking at the waitress, however, he stares only at me. The feeling makes me grow unsteady. The waitress leaves to go take care of our orders. Meanwhile, V and I make small talk until she comes back with our drinks.The hot chocolates are piled high with whipped cream, and on the very top of the massive pile of fluffy, white goodness is a red cherry. I let out a ‘mmh’ at the very sight of it. I haven’t had one of these in a few years. I take a long and slow sip of the hot beverage before setting it down, letting out a content sigh.

“This place does make the best hot chocolates, right?” His low voice rumbles throughout the cafe, a sound that I’ve been dying to hear in person for years now.

“Yeah, it��s amazing! To be honest, I can’t remember the last time I had one of these. Maybe a year or two ago? My mom taught me how to make homemade hot chocolate. It’s a recipe that she won’t allow me to share with anyone outside of the family, which is a shame since it’s so good!” This is the first genuine smile to appear on my face since I started talking to him. I wonder if he notices the difference between my fake smile and my real smile.

“Oh really? Well, I might have to marry into the family in order to see how good we’re talking about.” He picks up my left hand and looks at it closely. “Hey, you’re not taken, right?” I swat his hand away and laugh at his lame joke.

“No, but I’m sure someone like you would never take interest in someone like me.” I meant this as a joke, but surprisingly he takes it very seriously. He squeezes my hand with his, a feeling I wouldn’t mind experiencing everyday.

“Hey, don’t say that. I wouldn’t mind going out with someone like you. You’re fun to be around!” I unconsciously squeeze his hand back.

We continue to joke around and laugh until he gets a call from his manager, telling him that they need him back at the hotel. When he hangs up, he gives me a sad look. “I’m sorry, but it looks like I’m going to have to cut this short. My manager wants me back at the hotel so that we can practice before the big show. You’re coming, right?”

“Sadly, I’m not. I wasn’t able to get enough money in time.” I say with a sad smile on my face. My parents refuse to spend money on such a recreational thing, so I’m always stuck having to make money on my own. His eyes widen when I tell him the dismal news.

“What?! Come on, please tell me you’re joking.” I shake my head. He runs his hands through his hair as he lets out a long sigh. He sits there for a few minutes before his eyes light up, a sign that he came up with an idea. “Hang on, don’t go anywhere.” V stands up and walks outside, taking out his phone and dialing a number. I watch him talk to whoever’s on the other end for about five minutes before he hangs up. When he comes back inside, he sits across from me with a bright smile on his face. “I talked to my manager and he’s willing to give you a ticket and a backstage pass for tonight.” Too surprised to say anything, I sit there with a blank expression, not fully comprehending what he’s telling me. He stares at me with a look of expectation, and when I don’t respond right away, he waves his hand in front of my face. “Hello?”

“OH MY FREAKIN’ GOD!” I jump up from my seat, run around the table, and engulf him into a gigantic hug. “THANK YOU SO MUCH!!” I hold him there for a few seconds before I feel him start to hug me back. We remain like that for about a minute, and when we release each other, I can feel his stare shift down to my eyes. A look of pure happiness spreads across his face, and in that moment, I knew that I had fallen for him. I had fallen in love with Kim Taehyung.

I walked him back to his hotel. We talked about bts, the other boys, and the upcoming concert. I was beyond excited and nervous; excited to be able to see them live for the first time, but nervous to meet all of them. They’re the idols I love and care for the most, and I didn’t want my first meeting with them to go like my first meeting with V. When we arrive at the hotel, we look at each other with reluctance written in our eyes. “Well, this is it. I’d invite you in but my manager doesn’t want anyone to be there when we practice.”

“I understand. I’ll see you later tonight anyway, so it doesn’t matter.” I shrug nonchalantly. “Do your best out there, okay? Make me proud!” I lightly tap him on the nose, and he smiles. How many times have I seen that smile today?

“I’ll make sure it’s a performance that’ll leave you begging for more!” He says with determination laced into his words.

“We’ll see about that. Later, chocolate boy.” I walk off and flash him a peace sign. I didn’t know it at the time, but that little peace sign that I sent him had that boy’s heart pounding like crazy.

…

That night, he shined brighter than anyone else on that stage. That night, he made an announcement that I would never forget. That night, he did the unbelievable. That night, I had fallen for him even more, and he fell for me as well.

~🌸~🌸~🌸~🌸~🌸~🌸~🌸~🌸~🌸~🌸~

One of those late night updates cause why not. @untamedhes and my editor, Artemis, have been waiting for far too long for this. Thank you for requesting a part 3! Hmm... do i see a part 4 in your future?

-Dalia

Send in your requests!

(Unedited)

[holespoles]

Earthquake "I walk in the valley of death" 9 years after the earthquake. Who is "You"

Old Testament, Psalm 23, “I walk in the shadow valley of death, but do not be afraid of disaster. "You" are with me "

Thank you for your visit. This is a blog only update. Miscellaneous notes. I am Not christian.

It has been nine years since the earthquake. On the night of the earthquake, there was a baby born in a cold town where the lights were gone, but she is already a third grader.

At that time, I was in northern Saitama. The biggest shaking experienced in life. "Oh, this is ..." 9 years.

Next year is 10 years. How many more times can we say "how many years have passed"?

30 at best, 20 at first, and 10 at bad. There is no guarantee of seeing the cherry blossoms next year. Perhaps not everyone will read this next year.

My book is over halfway and I am writing the autumn part. One day I suddenly pick up a pen. Everyone is the same.

As usual, I'm going to eat breakfast and say to my husband, "I'm going to come", but I can't go to the entrance because my child is crying. The back that was visible for a moment from might be the last.

He quarreled with his wife the night before, did not eat breakfast, and even when he looked back at the entrance, he was angry and was washing with his back turned. Not to mention "Yesterday was bad" on his back, maybe sighing out of the door might be the last.

So "I'm coming" is very important. "I'm here" is a mutual survival report. It's very lucky to have someone to say. I can't say I'll be a lifetime anymore. I don't have a family anymore, so I'm rather comfortable. I'm worried about dogs. There is no heart left because no one dies and cry.

A couple of years ago, I talked to Soshigaya-Okura-san, about what a young couple would do if I died first. Soshigaya-san says, "I'll find a new person and get married." If you hear a rattling sound, I think I'm watching it. ' Slightly wired.

If you have the same question now, maybe the same answer. When you die, return to Soshigaya-Okura-san, and if you flirt, you will make a rattling sound. I'm dead but! lol.

Animals that humans forget. Well done. Over time, only beautiful things remain. Even if there is a bad memory, he justifies reasoning that it was inevitable.

And Human is “One book from birth to death”. Luxurious cover, simple cover. There are various.

Some features are more than 100 pages long, and some poems end on one page. There is no up and down in the work. Some gorgeous covers are empty, while others end up with just one page of poetry.

The question is, what is written there? Read it again with the last running light and see if you feel any regret.

If you say "Yesterday was bad," there should be salvation in regret. Fortunately, those who live are given the opportunity every day.

"You" is probably not God. Some say husbands, wives, and children. Sometimes they are old people. You may have met today. It may have been a job done by throwing everything away.

Psalm 23 “I walk in the shadow valley of death, but do not be afraid of disaster. "You" are with me "

Life is like a book. Tomorrow when I wake up will be the first blank page left. Keep in mind. We wish the deceased one a safe journey.

旧約聖書・詩編23篇　『我、死の陰の谷を歩むとも災いを恐れず。「あなた」が私と共におられますから』

ご訪問ありがとうございます。ブログのみの更新です。雑記。キリスト教徒ではないですw

もう震災から9年ですね。震災の夜、電気の消えた冷え切った町で産まれた赤ちゃんが当時いましたが、もう3年生。

　当時、自分は埼玉北部。人生で経験した最大の揺れ。『あーこれは・・もしかして』と頭をよぎった程。9年。来年は10年。あと何回『もう何年経った』と言えるかどうか。良くて30回、まずますで20回、下手すれば10回。来年の桜を見られる保証はない。おそらくこれを読む方も、来年には全員は揃わない。

　自分という本は、もうとうに半分を過ぎ秋の部分を執筆中。ある日突然ペンを取り上げられる。みんな同じ。

いつものように朝ごはん食べて、旦那に『いってらっしゃい』と言うつもりが、子供が泣いて玄関まで行けず、声だけで『行ってくるね』と聞こえ、玄関に急いで行って閉まるドアから一瞬見えた背中が最後かもしれない。

前の晩に奥さんと喧嘩して、朝ごはんも食べず、玄関で振り返っても奥さんは怒って背中を向けたまま、洗い物してる。その背中に『昨日は悪かった』と言うに言えず、ため息をついてドアから出て行くのが最後になるかもしれない。

　だから『いってきます』は、とても大事なもの。『ただいま』は互いの生存報告。言う相手がいるのは、とても幸運な事。もう自分は一生いってきますと言う事が出来ない。自分なんかはもう家族無いですからむしろ気楽。心配なのはワンコ位。死んで泣く者もいないから、心残りが無い。

　20数年前、祖師ヶ谷大蔵さんと『自分が先に死んだらどうするか』と若いカップルらしい話をした事がある。祖師谷さんは『新しい人見つけて結婚するww』と言い、自分は『死んでもこの世に残って見守る。カタカタ音がしたら俺が見ていると思えww』と言った。若干キモイw

　今同じ質問されたら、多分同じ答え。死んだら祖師ヶ谷大蔵に戻り、イチャイチャしてたら思い切りカタカタ音を立てるw 代わりに災厄から死んでも守る。死んでるけどwwww

　人間は忘れる動物。良く出来てます。時間がたつと美しい事だけが残る。嫌な思い出があっても『あれは必然だった』と勝手に理由付けしてしまう。

　生まれてから死ぬまでは1冊の本。豪華な表紙、質素な表紙。色々ある。100ページを超える長編もあれば、1ページで終わる詩もある。作品に上下はない。豪華な表紙でも空白ばかりで虚ろなものもあれば、たった1ページの詩で終わっても、その役目を果たし切った者もあるはず。

問題は、そこに何が書いてあるか。最後の走馬灯で読み直し、後悔を感じないかどうか。もし『昨日は悪かった』と言えていたら、悔いの中にも救いはあるはず。運がいい事に生きてる人間���は、そのチャンスが毎日許されている。

　『あなた』とはおそらく神様の事ではない。夫や妻や子供と言う人もいる。昔の人という事もある。今日会った人かもしれない。全てを捨てて成し遂げた仕事かもしれない。

詩編23篇　『我、死の陰の谷を歩むとも災いを恐れず。「あなた」が私と共におられますから』

人生は1冊の本なりき。目覚めて迎える明日は残された空白最初のページなり。心せよ。亡くなられた方の旅路の無事を祈る。

日本と韓国は敵か？味方か？　일본과 한국은 적? 아군인가?

[writefortheblueandgold]

Betty throwing herself into the river instead of Cheryl and Jughead saving her

 Im sorry if this is unacceptably long, I’m still new to this! I added more to the ending than I was asked, but I actually really loved this prompt and personally Im proud of this.

Suicide attempt warning. Au.

Betty didn’t attend school that week. She got rid of the ladder outside the window of her bedroom that lay in wait every night for Romeo to ascend. Betty turned off her phone, locked herself in her room and disconnected from everyone, even Jughead, and Polly. Her slick ponytail turned to a messy bun, she was letting her perfect down, and she liked it. No makeup, no care for clothes besides an S sweater that she stole from Jughead and a comfy pair of ripped jeans. Sitting in her too perfectly pink room, on her too perfectly pink bed she closed her eyes and dug her nails into the palms of her hands. The pain almost a relief for her but it wasn’t enough this time. Her mother had pushed her too far. Alice Cooper never shy of strict perfection on her tired daughter had gone way past her limit, Betty could not fight back.

“Oh, Elizabeth stop lying. You’re not depressed, my daughter could never be depressed. If you keep up that attitude I’m gonna kill you. You’ll end up just like Jason. Stop ruining my reputation, don’t you think you’ve done enough damage to the people of this town. You know, in my head I always wanted you to go like Cliff Blossom. It’d be easier for me, heck, it’d be easier for everyone. I don’t understand what your friends see that’s so special, poor Jughead. I know he’s not much himself but he doesn’t need an, even more so, lowlife like you making it worse” The conversation had started about going to a dance with Jughead. Betty insisted she wear red, but her mother did not agree. The innocent conversation between mother and daughter soon spiraled into a verbal beatdown on Betty Cooper.

Alice Cooper and her daughter Betty Cooper had gotten closer after Betty solved Jason’s murder with the help of her friends, also her mother coming clean about her unborn son had opened a new sentimental side of their relationship. But when Reggie, Trev, and Chuck had started false rumors about Betty getting pregnant with Jughead’s child just like Polly, Mama Cooper spiraled into madness yet again, constantly degrading, yelling, even hitting her daughter. Before Betty had shut him out, Jughead always found a new bruise or red mark whenever he would visit at night and she was in her pajamas. Betty hadn’t seen Jughead or any of her friends since last Saturday and it’s Monday now. She shut her curtains that Saturday, she knew Archie would try to snoop on her or talk to her. Whenever they would come by she’d stand in the other room to hear her mother tell them she wasn’t seeing anyone. They all thought she was mad at them. She slowly maneuvered from her bed, feeling the stiffness in her legs and back as she walked to her desk to grab her phone and two picture frames. One frame held a picture of Archie, Veronica, Jughead, and her sitting in a dinner at Pop’s drinking milkshakes and laughing… Pop Tate took that on the night of the Jubilee. And the other held a delicate picture of her and Jughead at the dance. She was in her pink dress, the one her and her mother argued about and Jughead was as handsome as ever in a classic black tux and bow tie with this crown beanie on. They were smiling as the slow danced together. She missed him. God, she missed him. She turned to the phone she plucked nonchalantly off her desk and turned it on. She let it sit for a while as all of her texts rushed in from the little group chat named “The Core Four”, they had sent her a total of 268 messages all asking to call or if they could come by, asking if she was mad at them, Ronnie and Archie sent her little paragraphs about their day to keep her updated. Of course, Ronnie kept her updated on the latest gossip and videos of the River Vixen routines.  They only thing Jughead would ever say was, “I love you, I miss you. Please talk to me.” He sent that about 5 times everyday. She knew he worried about her, as she did him.

She bit her lip in thought as she texted the group chat. A simple “I’m not mad at you guys, I love you guys.” she turned their group chat on do not disturb as the texts came rolling in and slipped her phone into her back pocket. She unlocked her door and popped her head out to look into the hall. Her parents were asleep, perfect. She padded downstairs to slip on her sneakers on and wrapped her arms around Jugheads sweater as she opened the door and the winter air of November was giving her chills already. Betty slammed the door shut, not caring to be quiet anymore… who really cared, right? She walked for miles without knowledge of where she was going until she came up to a clearing in the woods of a frozen pond. Sweet Water River. She took out her phone and texted Jughead, and only Jughead.

“I’m gonna go down in the same river we thought Jason did. Maybe they’ll care about me then” Betty dropped her phone in the snow and took a few steps before she heard Jughead’s ringtone. She turned on the spot and kneeled to answer it.

“What do you want Jug?” She was a bit irritated that he interrupted her train of thought.

“Betty?! What are you doing?! Where are you?! Tell me where you are and I'll come get you!” He was frantic, almost on a verge of a panic attack. He barely survived the week without her.

“Jug I told you where I was. I’m gonna go down how everyone thought Jason did. I love you Juggie.” She hung up and cut him off.

Jughead barged through the front door of his shared trailer almost knocking his father over in the process.

“Hey! Son! Whats the rush?” FP was confused as ever.

“Not enough time. Emergency. Tell you later.” He rushed out as he slammed the door to his truck and took a second to hit the steering wheel. He didn’t notice he started crying until his nose was running. He started the engine and sped off, definitely over the speed limit, but he couldn’t care less at this point.

Betty slid her way onto the middle of the ice. she stared at the solid ice for a minute or two and contemplated on what she was going to do.  She slowly brought her fist up and pounded at the ice, cracking it with every hit. She sat there thinking about everything her mom made her to be. All the lies her mom filled her with. Nonetheless, she was right. Betty Cooper didn’t see herself as anything more than a nuisance, she only got in people’s way and ruined their reputation and their lives basically. Then she thought to Jughead. Poor Jughead. He deserved someone that wasn’t this problematic, someone simple. She hit it to the point if you stood on it, it would completely bottom out and drop you in the ice cold current. She stood up, and something caught her attention. A red flannel wearing, beanie-capped boy with a flashlight. Jughead.

“Betty, come to the shore. Come to me Betty, please.” He pleaded with the girl trying to reason with her.

“Juggie, I can’t.” Betty was a crying mess by now. Tripping over her words, jumbling them together.

“Why.” He took a step towards her. Just one.

“Don’t even think about coming over here Jughead Jones, it's too dangerous.” She worried for him.

“I know it’s dangerous. That’s why I’m trying to get you to come to me, Betty, you can’t do this to me. I love you,” He slipped off his beanie, signifying his seriousness, “I love you, Elizabeth Cooper. Please don’t do this. You mean the world to me, not only me but Polly, and Veronica, and Archie, and Kevin, and Ethel, I can go on and on about how much you are loved. Betty do not give up. You can come with me, and I will protect you. I will protect you with everything I have. Betty. I love you, I love you, I love you. I cannot stress it enough.” He’s crying now, even more, if possible. But Betty doesn’t notice him taking a step with each sentence.

“Jug. I don’t deserve someone that loves me like you do. I’m a monster. You shouldn’t love a monster. This darkness inside of me is gonna get you too and I can’t let that happen. You deserve someone simple. Someone like Ethel.” Ethel had recently developed feelings for Jughead after he published an article in the Blue and Gold about her achievements. His face scrunched at the thought of having anyone else but Betty. The stood there for what felt like seconds as the ice was cracking under her feet. He took in her messy hair, her makeupless face. He noticed the S sweater he’s been missing for months now, internally he smiled at her forgetting the position they were in. He slowly reached out his hand to her. But before she even thinks about grabbing it. Before she could decide which side to choose, the ice consumed her. Jughead screamed as she just plummeted into the water, vanishing like she was never there. But then his adrenaline kicked in. That was his girl, and this is not gonna be her ending. He dropped to the floor and swept what little snow lay on the ice. He found her drifting with the ice cold current. She was screaming, she was pale already on the brink of turning purple. After what seemed like minutes her drifting stalled and she sat there pounding on the ice, she was running out of air and would definitely suffocate soon if Jughead didn’t do anything. Jughead knelt down right above where she was and started punching the ice full force. he was yelling and crying. He was doing anything he could to get his girl back.

His hands were coated in fresh cherry red blood. Finally, the ice started to break away, he created a hole barely big enough for her to fit, but it was enough for him. He reached his whole arm in to grab her by the wrist and pull her out. Her face was purple, her skin was cold, she wasn’t breathing. Jughead did the only thing he could think of. He quickly places his hands together on her chest and started pushing. He paused for only a moment to plug her nose and try to get her breathing again.

“You can’t do this to me. Elizabeth Cooper! I won’t let you! I’ll die before I let you do this to me!” He yelled at her. He hadn’t stopped crying since he got her call. That was his baby. That was his girl. She looked like an empty shell. Nonetheless, he didn’t stall his attempt to bring her back to life. After 5 minutes she gasped for the cold air. It felt good in her lungs. She held her hands to her head, completely unaware to Jughead sitting next to her until he squishes her into his arms and cries into her hair. Their sitting on the ice, both cold but Betty more so, shivering, crying, hugging. Jughead spreads little kisses all over her face as he worriedly scolds her.

“Betty what is wrong with you?! Don’t you ever do that shit to me ever again! I was so worried! Betty what the hell?! I love you!” He holds her head in between his hands and makes sure she understands him perfectly well. She’s shivering so he takes her (his) sweater and wraps her in her flannel and puts his beanie on her head and picks her up and runs to his truck. Once finally in the car, he cranks up the heater to make an effort to help as much as he can. Half way home he can see she’s still shivering. He unclips her seatbelt and pulls her over to his side and wraps his arm around her. She smiles to herself, despite what they had been through not only fifteen minutes ago, she felt at peace. She always felt at peace with him. He always will be there for her. With the knowledge of affection from him, she feels a great wave of remorse push through her.

“Jug” Only a whisper coming out.

“Yes, Betty?” He looked at her for a moment before training his eyes on the road.

“I’m sorry, I just… I thought you’d be better without me. I don’t do much good to anyone and I-“ she was quickly interrupted.

“Betty. Stop. You deserve me as much as I deserve you. Maybe it’s me that doesn’t deserve you, but how could you say you don’t do much good to anyone? You have changed my Betty Cooper. You have made me believe in love. I will only ever want you. Screw your mother, screw your father. You are such a beautiful human being inside and out that I’m beginning to think you’re not even human, more like a damn goddess Elizabeth Cooper. I love you so much. If I let you just do what you did and die, I would never forgive myself. I will protect you from anything and everything; whether it be your mom, or the rumors that the brain dead jocks like to spread about you, or even you. I will protect you, I promise. I love you, Elizabeth Cooper.” He finishes his little speech with a reassuring kiss on her forehead. He smiles as she rests her sopping wet hair on his lap and gently falls asleep.

“I won’t let anything or anyone her you” He whispers to her sleeping form.

Jughead carries his half asleep girlfriends into his trailer. His dad sitting on the couch jumps up at the sound of the door opening.

“What the hell! Forsythe Pendleton Jones! You had me worried sick!” His father completely ignores the sleeping girl in his arms until Jughead shushes him. Jughead carries Betty into his room. Gently he rubs her shoulder only to wake her enough to throw her some of his pajama bottoms. She nods a little thank you when he smiles at her and kisses her temple. He gives her some privacy to change and peacefully be with herself while he talks to his dad.

“Jughead. What happened?” He pulls his shoulder to guide him to the small circle dining table.

“She tried to kill herself, dad. The love of my life tried to end hers.” Jughead said more to himself, almost like it hasn’t sunk in yet.

“Do you know why?” He knew he was pushing his boundaries but FP cared about Betty, she was like his daughter in law already, of course, he wanted her to be safe.

“Not entirely, I know it has to deal with her mom, rumors the jocks made up, and me. Dad. She doesn’t think she deserves me. Well, she didn’t think she did, we talked in the car and that part is solved.” Jughead doesn’t want to cry anymore, but thinking about what Betty wanted to do terrified him.

“Jughead. I know Mama Cooper is the hardest on Betty. I know how vicious she can get. If Betty would like, she can stay here for as long as she’d like, or for as long as she needs. I know you’ll protect her Jug. You love her, I know you do.” Jughead nodded in agreement with that he thanked his father and went to go ask Betty what she thought. He knocked on the door, he heard no reply, the silence scared him. He opened the door and the window was open. Wide open. “Shitty Betty!” He ran to the window looking out of it, looking for his blonde.

“What Jug?” She asked him hearing his exasperation from inside the attached bathroom.

“You really think I’d try to leave?” She wore a small smile on her face following a slight chuckle.

“Sorry, you didn’t answer to my knock and when I came in the window was wide open. Jesus Betty, why is the window open? It’s November, it’s practically on the brink of snowing.” He walked to her embracing her.

Lifting her head up she took his face in her hands, “It feels good. What was so urgent Jug?”

“Dad said you’re more than welcome to stay here until you feel better. But if you don’t want to and you insist on going home that’s fine too. I just want you to be safe and I want you to be hap-“ He took her hands away from his face and held them in his own.

“Jughead, would it really be okay for me to stay? I don’t feel safe at home anymore.”

Beaming at her he couldn’t contain his happiness, “Betty, like I said more than welcome.”

[reid-about-reid-blog]

Snowflakes Fall

Inspired by & lyrics from: BTS - Spring Day

Spencer Reid x Reader

Warnings: Terminal Illness

Genre: Angst

Part 1 of 2

December

Snowflakes are falling, Getting farther away. I miss you.

“Hey, according to this article, the cherry blossoms are projected to bloom during the last week of March.  If I’m not on a case, do you want to see them together?” Your boyfriend of almost a year, Spencer Reid, asked.  “I know you like them, and I thought it would be something to look forward to after all of this snow melts.”

You tried to smile.  “That does sound nice, but...Spence, let’s break up.”

He looked up from his newspaper.  “What?”

“You heard me,” you replied, trying to swallow the lump in your throat.  “Let’s break up.”

He put down his newspaper.  “Y/N, if this is about my job, we already talked about it before we started dating--”

“It’s not about your job.”

“Then what is it?” he asked, already dreading the answer.  On the days that he was home, had noticed that you were on the phone a lot more lately, and you had been noticeably more distant when he’d ask you questions.  You rarely looked straight into his eyes anymore, and even a rookie profiler could tell that you were hiding something.  At first, Spencer had just thought that you needed space, but he now feared that his suspicions had been correct.

“I...I’m sorry, Spence.  It’s not you; it’s me.” You stared down and fidgeted with your hands.

“Y/N...are you...cheating on me?”

You looked up at him, surprised that he would jump to that conclusion.  But maybe it was better that way, maybe it was better if he started to hate you.  Surely, it would be better than the truth.  “I’m sorry, Spence.”

“I knew that you were too good to be true.”

“Spence...”

“Y/N, I’m going to say this while I’m still being nice.  I want all of your things out of my apartment by the time I come home from work today, and I don’t want you to contact me ever again.”

You could only look down at your hands as Reid crumpled up his newspaper and walked into the bedroom the two of you once shared.  Only when he had slammed the front door did you allow your tears to fall.

Truthfully, you loved Spencer Reid.  The last thing in the world you wanted to do was hurt him.  But you also knew that if the doctors were right, then what you thought was a simple cough was actually something much worse.  And Spencer had told you about all of the people he loved that had left him, and how he couldn’t bear to lose any more, and you knew that you didn’t want to put him through that pain.  Perhaps he would’ve broken up with you anyway once he found out about your diagnosis, but you knew Spencer, and you knew that he would stay with you until the very end, possibly even letting your condition interfere with his job.  He was a brilliant profiler that saved so many lives, and you knew that you would be selfish to keep him all to yourself.  So you would force him to let you go.

You reached for your phone and dialed a number, fresh tears running down your face.  “JJ, I’m so sorry to ask you this while you’re on maternity leave, but I need your help.”

“Sure, Y/N, what’s up?”

“Spence and I broke up just now, and I was wondering if you could come to help me clear my stuff out of his apartment?”

“Whoa there, slow down, Y/N.  Of course I’ll help, but you and Spence broke up?  What happened?”

You replied, “I’ll tell you when you get here.  But you have to promise not to tell anyone else, especially Spence.”

“So what’s going on, Y/N?” JJ asked as she entered the apartment.  “Why did you and Spence break up?”

“I...I’m sick, JJ.”

“What do you mean?” she asked.  “Sit down, Y/N.”

“Two weeks ago, while Spence was away on a case, I started to get this cough,” you said as you and JJ sat at your dining table.  “I thought it would go away after a few days, but when it didn’t, I went to the doctor for the first time in years, and he told me that I...I have cancer.  Stage II.”

“Well, if it’s Stage II, then isn’t it still early enough to begin treatment?”

You bit your lip.  “The tumor is about 5.5 centimeters right now, but it hasn’t spread yet, so they’re still calling it Stage II.  I’m going to the hospital in a few days to see if my body is strong enough to begin treatment.”

“Oh my god, Y/N, I’m so sorry.” JJ stood up and walked over to you, wrapping you in a hug.  “And you broke up with Spence because you didn’t want him to worry about you.”

“JJ, he just got over Maeve’s death when the two of us started to date.  I knew how much he was hurting, how much he still hurts, and if he knew my chance of living another five years was only 19%, you already know how much he’d continue to hurt.  Spence thinks that it’s his fault that everyone he loves dies, and I am not going to put him through that pain again.”

“I understand, but don’t you think he’s hurting now?”

“JJ, he assumed that I was cheating on him.  I let him think that.  He hates me, and he’ll get over me.”

“Y/N...I’m calling Will.  Once we have all of your boxes packed, he can help us carry them down to the car.  There’s no way that we can carry all of these by ourselves, especially with that horrible snow outside.”

“I’m doing the right thing, right?” you asked.

JJ patted you on the back, and the two of you began to pack your belongings.  You didn’t have much to pack, since you had secretly been moving some of your things to a storage unit that you rented in town ever since you learned about your diagnosis.  The thought of throwing away the things that reminded you of Spencer was heartbreaking, but perhaps keeping those things locked away in a storage unit was even more heartbreaking.  Your eyes landed on a picture of you and Spencer laughing together, and you removed it from its frame and slid it into your pocket.

“I put everything into the boxes like you wanted.” JJ came into your bedroom.  “Will should be here in a few minutes.”

“Thank you, JJ.  How can I thank you?”

“By doing two things,” JJ replied, wrapping her arms around you again.  “First, stop talking like this is the last time I’ll ever see you, because it won’t be.  Second, keep me updated on everything that happens.”

“But--”

“Y/N, promise me.”

“...Okay, I will.”

March

The team had just closed another case and were on the jet back home.  L.A. had been a nice vacation from Quantico, which had been experiencing one of the longest winters in the city’s history.  Most of the team were catching up on sleep after a tough few days, but neither Spencer nor JJ could sleep, for different reasons.  

JJ had kept in contact with you, and she knew that you weren’t doing well, but she couldn’t talk about it with anyone, because she had promised you.  But every time Spencer talked about how selfish or disloyal you were over the past few months, it took every ounce of her energy to stay quiet about the real reason you had left him.

“Something bothering you, JJ?” Spencer asked.

“Nothing,” she replied.  “You?”

“Nope, nothing.”

“Spence, come on.  Tell me what’s on your mind.”

“Well,” he said, “the cherry blossoms were supposed to bloom at the end of this month, but the way the weather is, I doubt that’s happening.  That’s it.”

“That’s it?” JJ asked.

“Well...not quite,” he admitted.  “Truthfully, I was going to go to see the cherry blossoms with Y/N, but...she’s probably going to go see them with her new boyfriend.”

JJ stiffened.

“Okay seriously, what’s bothering you, JJ?  You’re biting your nails again.”

“Uh, it’s really nothing, Spence.  I’m going to go to the restroom really quick.”

“Okay.” Spencer watched as his friend placed her phone next to her coffee cup and walk toward the back of the plane.  He settled in his seat, staring out the window at the night sky, and closed his eyes.  Just then, JJ’s phone began to buzz, and Spencer opened his eyes, surprised to see the name on the Caller ID.  Y/N... Against his better judgment, he reached for the phone and hit the answer button, remaining silent.

“JJ?” you said in almost a whisper.  “Sorry I missed your call.  You and Will can come to visit tomorrow, but only if it isn’t a bother.”

Spencer knew that something was wrong.  “Y/N?”

The line went silent.

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” He pulled the phone away from his ear for a moment and realized that you had hung up on him.  Heartbeat increasing, he tried to piece together what he had just learned.

“Spence?” JJ sat down.

“Your phone rang.”

“Did it?”

“It was Y/N.  I answered.”

“Spence...how much do you know?” JJ asked.

“What’s going on?  Have you been in contact with her this entire time?”

“Spence, I’m sorry.  Y/N didn’t want you to know.”

“What happened to her?  Why did her voice sound like that?”

“Spence...”

“Tell me, JJ.”

“The truth is...Y/N is sick.”

Read Part 2 here!

[martian-m]

Feline

Pairing: Cheryl Blossom x reader Word count: 2,624 A/N: Requested by anon! hiya anon! hope you enjoy this fic hihu

MY REQUESTS ARE OPEN UNTIL JUNE 2 YO

It’s been exactly five years right now, August 14, 2024, since me and Cheryl graduated from NYU school of Law while also passing the New York bar exam which in lieu certified us into being lawyers. Talk about goals right? Well, currently we are in our mid-twenties, 25, and have been together for the longest time – 7 years. No, we are not married yet. Just to give a brief recap, we started dating by Junior year after the fiasco of finding out the killer of Jason Blossom, my best friend and brother of Cher. ((She hates that nickname if anyone else says it, but if it’s only me then she can tolerate it))

I walk down the sidewalk of the city that never sleeps, New York, in my tailor-fit suit, minding my own business and trying to come up with a plan that would make our flat/living space livelier. After 5 minutes of trying in vain to come up with an idea, I dialed Veronica’s number. ‘Riiiing’ ‘Riiiing’ ‘Rii – “This is Mrs. Veronica Cooper-Lodge speaking,”

“Hey V, it’s (Y/N)” “(Y/N)!! BETTY HUN, (Y/N)’S ON THE PHONE WITH ME” Veronica yelled away from the phone. *voice in the background* “shush V, you’re gonna wake up Xavier” “sorry, but come over here!!” Veronica replied half whispering and half yelling. “Hello (Y/N), aka Godmother of Xavier, oh thank you by the way for his mini batman costume, he loves it soooo much!” Betty finally replied through the phone as I was placed in speaker mode. “No problem Betts, anything for my nephew. Anyway, I need your advice guys” I replied with a sigh. As soon as you launch into your dilemma with Cheryl wanting your living space to be livelier and “lacks a certain element”, you sigh running your hand through your hair  as you finish updating V&B on the happenings between you and Cheryl, “so, what do you guys think?” “buy her flowers?” Betty says. “no, no…ummm…do you guys have a pet? Veronica asked. “no, we don’t have. Why??” I replied slightly confused why the subject suddenly changed. “that’s it!!! Get a pet!..but what pet though….” Veronica asked loudly. “maybe a cat? Since they poop in their own sandbox and are somewhat trained, not that I have anything against dogs.” Betty suggested. “not because she digs pussy as well?” Veronica asked while laughing “oh my god Ronnie” Betty commented while laughing at the crude joke as you could hear an audible slap through the phone. “you guys always crack me up at the same time are super helpful, I miss you all.”   “aw (Y/N), we miss you too. You and Cheryl should come by and visit us! Archie, Val, Teresa, and Juggie are coming by the end of August and I’m absolutely sure Xavier would be excited to see you both” Betty replied. “You mean he’d be excited to see Cheryl?”, I replied with amusement evident in my voice. “Aw (Y/N) of course he’d be excited to see you too!” Veronica replied while giggling. “Alright, alright. We’ll be sure to visit you three in California by the end of August.” I replied as I lightly chuckled. “ see you soon (Y/N)!” Betty replied. “YEAH AND GET THE PUSSYCA-“ Veronica replied loudly as Betty hit the end call button.

Shaking my head at the antics of my childhood friends, I immediately searched for the nearest pet shop so I could adopt a pet feline in need of a home. I am now a woman on a mission. [after 5 hours] After looking at the various cats for adoption, I took in this 8 month old munchkin cat that immediately came up to me as I stepped into the area for the cats to interact with the possibility of being adopted. A lot of them shied away from me but this one cat, named Tibby, came up to me to smell my loafers and slacks until she rubbed her whole body on my leg. ‘I need a 5 lint removers….’ as I thought to myself, but as she looked up to me I instantly melted seeing her hazel – almost amber eyes. Let’s just say I instantly adopted her and went on a shopping spree for all the cat necessities.

As I drove back to the flat, I let out Tibby to nestle on my lap while I was driving. I could already tell that this cat was gonna be spoiled and pampered all the time, by me. I just hope Cheryl will love her as much as I already do. Biting my lip I speed dialed Cheryl and connected the call to my Bluetooth earpiece since it was later than usual that I came home. Knowing she would start to worry, flood me with texts, and call nonstop if I dint contact her first. The first ring didn’t even get through as she answered the call immediately, “Riiii- Baby? Where are you?? Are you okay?? Are you on your wa-“ Cheryl rambled on as worry flooded her voice. “Hey hey. Babe, I’m totally fine. Yes, I’m driving, using my earpiece mind you and I’m on my way home. I just went shopping for something both of us would maybe find joy in?” I cut her off to somewhat relieve her from worrying too much. After Jason’s death, she became more worried than usual, it isn’t bad or anything, I find it quite endearing. “oh God. That’s great to hear. Oh? What did you get??” Relief immediately flooded her voice. “you’re gonna find out soon as I get home” I replied adding a tune to the words as a teased her, knowing she loves surprises. “you’re such a tease (Y/N). I’m cooking dinnerrrr~ you better come home soon!” Cheryl replied amusement apparent in her voice. “yes love, I’m actually 5 minutes away. Just gonna park the car and head up to you. I love you! See you!” I somewhat hastily replied as Tibby started yawn and meow at the same time as to reaching up my earpiece. “I love you too, baby. See you!” Appearing to not notice my hurried reply, she replied cheerily. I always let her end the call. A soon as she did, I let out a breathe of relief and peered down at Tibby, who was just seated at my lap looking at me as well. I tried to place her in the cage but as I opened the door to the cage she immediately nestled on my shoulder. Apparently not having the heart to take her off my shoulder, I proceeded to get all the things I ‘cat necessities’ bought and reached the elevator. As soon as the doors to the elevator opened, I somewhat wished it didn’t since the only person occupying the elevator was the same floor neighbor, Katy Harrison. I’m not practically fond of her since Cheryl discussed this theory that Katy likes me. All I know is that if your girl doesn’t like that girl, you don’t ever interact with her at all. But alas, as I loaded the things on the elevator with Tibby on my shoulder, she just had to help me while peering on the feline currently somewhat growling at her.

‘This is secretly Cheryl’s spirit animal’ I joked to myself. I didn’t have to say what floor since she lives on the same floor as me and Cheryl. So nodded my thanks to her, again I regretted my decision. I guess she took it as an invitation to talk to me. I mentally kick myself.  We started off with small talk on how my day was and all, I didn’t ask her on how hers was. Until she had the sneaky audacity to ask me out, “So (Y/N), there’s this event I’m hosting tomorrow night.. and I was wondering if you wanted to attend it? You can bring Cherry with you.” “I’m sorry Kaitlyn, I’m going out with Cheryl tomorrow night.” Yes, I purposely said her name wrong. I mean she knows Cheryl and I know she knows my girlfriend’s name so I don’t take the show of disrespect lightly. As we approached out floor I gripped tightly the bags to dash out the elevator as soon as it opens to not give her the chance to reply. ‘Ding’ I gripped my bags, cat tower and dashed the fuck outta there. I was walking fast to the door of my flat, until I heard heels clicking my way…meaning this Katy lady was coming at my direction. ‘Fuck’ I thought as I dinged the doorbell of the flat knowing Cheryl is there. The steps where getting closer. ‘Fuck fuck fuck’ I repeated to myself, finally I heard the door unlock and click open with Cheryl my goddess about to greet me with a hug, but saw Tibby perched on my shoulder peering down curiously at her. “Babe, who’s this?” Cheryl questioned with a smirk showing her amusement. “Her name is Tibby and SURPRISE!!!” Trying in vain to do the jazz hands, until the moment was destroyed as we heard a cough behind me. As I stepped in to step behind Cheryl, we saw Katy at by the door. Holding one of the bags I accidentally left in the elevator in my sudden rush trying to leave. Glancing at Cheryl, I saw this expression I hadn’t seen since high school. Hey ‘ice queen bitch face’ as she labeled it to be. I groaned to internally to myself while Tibby was sensing my internal struggle. I took her off my shoulder and held her in my arm as I placed a hand on Cheryl’s shoulder. Katy started to talk not even giving recognition to Cheryl which in turn I guess fueled Cheryl’s anger, “Hey (Y/N), you left this in the elevator” “Tha-“ “Thank you Katherine, we’ll just have dinner okay? Byee” Taking the bag and slamming the door on her face, Cheryl turned around to look at me as she placed a hand on my face, “She didn’t try anything did she?” Cheryl questioned. “well after she tragically tried to ask me out and being rejected again” I replied as I pulled her close to me while kissing her forehead while avoiding squishing Tibby.

“I swear. Why can’t she just get someone who isn’t taken?? Ughh”Cheryl closed her eyes as she pinched the  bridge of her nose in frustration but slowly breathed out slowly. Opening her eyes to look at me and Tibby, “I’m glad you’re home, let’s go eat dinner before it gets cold” grabbing my free hand leading me to the dining area with Tibby still in my other arm.

[Cheryl’s POV]

Plans were cancelled yet AGAIN. Tossing my phone on the bed, I lie on my back again feeling the disappointment wash away and get replaced with annoyance. It’s not like I haven’t noticed the lack of affection, communication, and attention I was getting from (Y/N). She was taking my (Y/N) away from me ever since she arrived here. I thought she would be harmless but no, that cat has been nothing but a girlfriend stealer.

“UGHHHHHHHHHHH” I groaned loudly. I need my girlfriend too you know? I mean being with here for 8 years has me expecting her to pop the question anytime now, not bringing a cat home. As I roll my eyes, I could hear the door of our flat open and close, signaling that (Y/N) and the fucking cat arrived home. “Cheryl! Babe, I’m home!” Deciding not to respond, I turned my back away from the bedroom door hugging a pillow next to me as I somewhat pout. Hearing the footsteps coming closer I still retained my position. I felt the bed dip in the opposite side and feel (Y/N) crawling to me, with her chin resting on my shoulder and the front of her body flush against my back she started to apologize and talk, “ Babe, I’m so sorry for cancelling our plans for tonight….I bought Chinese food, your favorite, a tub of Vanilla ice cream and also downloaded the movies and series’ you’ve been dying to watch……are you still mad? Do you forgive me?”

Turning to look at her, my annoyance and anger slipped away as I saw the genuine sincerity of how (Y/N) truly is sorry. Also, the fact that I can’t stay mad at her for too long. I mean what the heck, 8 years together and you’re bound to be each other’s soft spot. Instead I sigh and smile at her, “Well apology accepted and I’m glad that you’re home but that doesn’t mean you’re off the hook that easily” I kissed her on the cheek while bounding off to the living room to settle on the couch knowing (Y/N)’s gonna set up everything. ~ After a marathon of Friends, (Y/N) suddenly went to the bathroom before asking me if I could get Tibby for her, Rolling my eyes once again, I called Tibby’s name only to be attacked from below as she jumped on my legs. Yelping at the surprise attack, Tibby immediately nestled on my lap. Glaring at the cat while I pet her fur I suddenly felt this weird lump on her neck. Investigating thee weird lump, it came out to be a fortune cookie. Confused, I cracked it open to see a folded paper inside. I put the cracked fortune cookie at one side as I begin to unfold the paper. As I scanned it, I was stunned as I read the few lines,

‘ Me and Chandler share few similar sentiments as Chandler loves Monica and how I love you, Turn around.’

Shocked I stood up and turned around to find, my love, my rock and my one and only on one knee as she was surrounded by various flowers in boxes, only opening up to me so I could step in the circle of bouquets,

“From the moment I saw you in freshman year as I came back to Riverdale, my heart knew something in secret that my mind and I wasn’t privy to until a year and a half later as we started dating, it’s that you are my soulmate, my one true love. People look for this kind of love for the rest of their lives and I am grateful to God that I found it with you. I love you with all my heart, mind, soul, and I will choose you and us every day through the up’s and down’s.”- (Y/N) let a shaky breathe out and wiped the corner of her right eye while continuing. “As Chandler said to Monica, “You make me happier than I ever thought I could be and if you let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way”….. so Cheryl Blossom, will you allow me to be the Chandler to your Monica?” Crying freely I stepped into the circle of flowers and nodded as I couldn’t trust me voice at the moment. (Y/N) took the ring out of the Tiffany’s box and slid it on my ring finger. It was a perfect fit. (Y/N) suddenly lifted me up in her arms as she kissed me deeply and took me back to the couch so that we could continue watching Friends. Tibby made her way to us and perched herself on my lap, I smiled at the cat while scratching the back of her ear gently knowing she played a major part in this all. ‘I guess I’m starting to like you after all’ I thought to myself. Closing my eyes with comfort in my heart knowing this is for the long run and this isn’t the end of the surprises life has in store for us.