#One would say. I feel what I am feeling A Bit Too Much. All of the time

[gojoest]

FIRST WORD — girl dad!gojo satoru

girl dad satoru, established relationship (you’re married, it is indicated that you have two other kids besides the little one that appears in this drabble), nanami cameo, suggestive credits at the end (breeding hinted, just to be safe), sry this lowkey sucks + not proofread, i typed it out in 10 mins but i hope you enjoy!

satoru is trying really hard to get his little daughter to say “papa”, but oh well

“come on, my life — say it”

satoru, crouched down before the baby chair where his little daughter is sitting, a picture of his face in one hand while the other alternates between pointing at the photo and then at his face, slowly repeats, over and over, with utmost perseverance and patience, the first word he wishes his little one would utter—

“pa-pa”, he carefully speaks, syllable by syllable. “pa-pa”, and again. “come on, baby — at least you don’t betray me, i know you’re papa’s girl — come on now, say it”, he pleads.

this has been going on for the past few weeks.

your entire house currently looks like the room of a teenager where it’s posters on the walls and little trinkets on the shelves, courtesy of heavy hyperfixations. but instead of posters and trinkets it’s your husband’s face, everywhere. kitchen, living room, hallways, your baby’s room — every-single-where and every-single-surface and wall has the photograph of your husband’s face on it. he even purchased custom-made plushies and toys of himself, some of which are hanging from the musical baby mobile above your daughter’s crib — but instead of music it’s his voice, teaching his toddler through made-up songs how to say ‘papa’.

“satoru, don’t you think this is a little bit, um— “, you once brought up, pausing to clear your throat, trying your best to sound softer while you say this. knowing how sensitive he is about the matter, and how devoted to have this innocuous win — “…too much? hm, love? it’s like you’re… brainwashing the baby…”

lips immediately pursed, satoru pouted under his nose — “easy for you to say, our two other kids said ‘mama’ first — effortlessly, at that. let me have this one at least”

okay, you shrugged and backed off.

and this morning, as you sipped on your coffee, you silently watched your husband in the kitchen — kneeled down before the baby chair, going about his educational routine.

after he was done with the photos, he took your daughter’s hand and pressed her fingers on his lips, while he kept repeating the word ‘papa’. he said that this method allows the baby to see the way your mouth moves as you speak but also hear and feel the sound all at the same time. (he sure has read a lot of things on the internet)

but your little one remained silent, only giggling here and there as she poked around her father’s face, completely refusing to cooperate with him despite his desperate attempts.

it is an endearing sight, really. part of you felt pity for your husband, you cannot lie. he was trying so hard, and for what...

all of a sudden,

the doorbell rings.

“i’ll take it”, you quickly pad over to open the door.

it’s nanami — dropping by with some baked treats for the kids, as he often does. your children love him a lot. during dinner gatherings he always sneaks away to read them bedtime stories. even though he doesn’t look like the type on the surface, he sure has a soft spot for children. and, truth be told, they are all naturally drawn to him as well. maybe it’s his calm demeanor and the sense of safety he brings along with his presence.

“ah, thank you — these look so delicious, i am sure the kids will die for a bite”, you chime, as you guide him into the kitchen.

“oh— nanami, it’s you”, satoru casually points out without even turning his head to greet him, his eyes glued on his little daughter… who seems to be looking elsewhere, past her father…

…at nanami.

a bit bothered by that, satoru shifts a little bit to the side, to block the view — to, once again, be the main focus in his daughter’s eyes. but, alas…

she tilts her head, googly eyes glancing at the blond man behind her father.

she opens her mouth, a giggle first escapes, and then—

“na-na—”, she pauses… “—mi” — a beam of laughter and her hands reaching forward, pointing at nanami.

silence in the kitchen befalls.

you cover your mouth with a hand, trying to prevent yourself from bursting into laughter. it’s tragic but funny at the same time, and you know — in just a few seconds the real baby in this room will not be your daughter.

“nanami”, satoru slowly stands up, shoulders hanging low and voice — monotone and stern. “get out”

p.s.: satoru makes a scene. he is absolutely devastated. you have to drag him away and pick up the pieces and calm him down. and, of course, he thinks — the only way to make things better is to give him another child. a new opportunity…and you need to get down to business, now. while nanami is babysitting downstairs.

[adragonprinceswhore]

Rumours

Aemond Targaryen x (Ex)wife

Chapter VII: Landslide 🎼 Masterlist

Summary: Life goes on, even with a broken heart. Can you and Aemond move forward as bandmates, and not partners?

Warnings: 18+, AFAB reader, she/her pronouns, smut, feral lovemaking, P in V, toxic family dynamic, angst

Word count: 5000

A/N: As always, thank you so much for helping me my lovely Justine @theoneeyedprince 🩵

You dismiss another call from an unknown number with an annoyed flick of your finger and continue reading the document in front of you, eyes scanning over the deed poll forwarded to you by your solicitor.

Back to only carrying your maiden name. Targaryen officially removed.

It’s strange, like the marriage never happened.

You can’t decide if the thought is comforting or devastating. What would your life be like if you’d never met Aemond? No fervid passion. No ruinous heartache.

Last year, you couldn’t imagine a day when you wouldn’t be by his side. The man you called family. Your husband.

It’s official. You’re not family anymore.

Aemond’s voice is hushed as he speaks to his grandfather out on the balcony. He’d asked you to wait in the living room as he took the call, but not being by his side makes you feel restless.

You knew Otto would be ruthless; stooping impossibly low in order to make Aemond rethink his decision to leave the firm to pursue the band full time.

He finally emerges from the balcony, eyes half-lidded from exhaustion and face hollow. You shift your body slightly on the sofa, bringing your arms out so he can sit down next to you and fall into your embrace.

He does exactly that.

Your fingers come up to comb through his hair as you gently ask, “What did he say?”

Aemond just sighs as he moves to hide his face in the crook of your neck, arms leisurely placed around your waist.

You already know the answer.

That he was ashamed of having a quitter for a grandson. That Aemond will never amount to anything without his grandfather. That he’s too intelligent to think that pursuing a band could be a viable career path.

“What do I do now”, he mumbles defeatedly against your skin.

You tap his cheek lightly with the tip of your finger to make him look up at you.

Your eyes lock, and you place your hand on his cheek, gently stroking your thumb over his cheekbone,

“I am your family now, Aemond. We’ll always have each other”

You seal your reassurance with a kiss, and he eagerly reciprocates, pushing himself up to hover over you. You sink further into the sofa cushions as he surges down to kiss you again.

And again.

His kisses are slow and forceful, nearly sucking the soul out of you, leaving you breathless.

You soon find yourself in your shared bed, Aemond arms still wrapped tightly around you.

He lets his forehead down to rest against yours, and gazes into your eyes with an almost manic stare as he whispers,

“You’re my everything”

Each of his kisses, touches and whispers echo the devotion he feels for you, and warmth spreads like wildfire in your chest. This must be what it feels like to have someone love you entirely.

When the two of you become one, he rolls his hips against yours unhurriedly, sending pleasurable sparks through your body. It feels so, so good all you can do is moan, and you bring one hand up to grab a fistful of the hair at the back of his head, smashing his lips against yours in a messy kiss.

The only sound in the room, in the entire flat, is your matching breaths as you entwine pants and moans, lips never leaving the other’s.

You can hardly form a coherent thought as each of his thrusts makes his pelvis press against your clit,

“Don’t come yet”, he breathes into your mouth and kisses you again. You nod obediently.

He turns you so that you're on your side and lays down right behind you.

His large hand caresses the smooth skin of your thigh before grabbing your flesh, draping your leg over his hips as he begins to rut into you, a bit harsher than before.

You reply with a moan, letting him know how good he feels. Your hand searches his, still on your thigh, and you hold onto it for some stability as your body jolts forward with each harsh snap of his hips.

He goes harder, thrusting into you with his face pressed to you cheek, mumbling in your ear,

“Feels so fucking good, baby”

You moan again and move your face slightly to place another wet kiss on his cheek. They’re flustered, and the top of his ears are almost as red as his face. There’s a determined look in his eye that wasn’t there before, fiery in a stern way that doesn’t quite match your passionate love-making.

Using his arm for leverage, he lifts his body slightly, fucking you harder and harder. Your body gets pushed into the mattress and you find yourself on your stomach, one hand sneaking down to rub circles between your thighs. Aemond grunts as your walls clench down on his length, his face now shielded in your hair.

“I’d fucking die for you, you know”, he grits out, continuing his merciless pace.

Though your peak is nearing rapidly, rendering your brain nearly useless, you feel like something’s not right.

He sounds angry.

You turn your head from where it’s pushed into the mattress. He looks deranged; hair falling in front of his face and pupil blown wide, eyes filled with something you can’t really decipher.

But it’s not purely lust.

You call his name and bring your hand up to stroke his cheek, searching for his eyes. He keeps his gaze on your body, refusing to look up and meet your concerned frown.

“Aemond, are you okay?”

He dismissively grunts at your question, but slows down and finally meets your eyes.

Is he upset?

You’re not sure what’s going on, but you see that sadness reflect in his eyes; the same vulnerability that pops up whenever he feels threatened.

When he feels like he might lose you.

It’s usually obscured by anger, but now it seems too potent for him to suppress.

Staring into his seeing eye, you console him,

“I love you too, Aemond”

His expression falls.

His eyes shine with sadness.

It makes you sad too. If he’d only let you in on what makes him like this, you could help him; reassure him that whatever it is he fears won’t come true. But he doesn’t let you in.

And all you can do is watch.

The movement of his hips falters, and he says nothing, only breathes heavily.

The hand you have resting on his cheek slowly travels down to his chest, and you push him gently, gesturing for him to lay down on his back.

He follows your silent instructions without protest.

You turn around and move one of your legs so that you’re straddling him, hands resting on his chest. You slowly sink down on his cock, feeling whole again as it stretches you out in the most perfect way.

You moan and throw your head back, setting a slow, steady pace. Your hips move up and down, front and back.

Aemond’ s hands squeeze your hips harshly as he matches your rhythm, bucking up into you, losing himself to pleasure once more.

“You feel so good, baby”, you tell him, pace never faltering,

“No one could ever make me feel as good as you do”

He moans, one hand moving from your hip to your breast, cupping it and pinching your nipple between his fingers.

You sigh in pleasure and lay down on top of him, hands moving to cup his face. Your thumb strokes the marred side of his face, and you notice his gaze flickering away from yours. With a persistent grip, you push on the side of his face to make him look into your eyes again,

“You’re mine. And I’m yours”

Your lips meet his, and the kiss you thought would be slow and sweet turns heated as Aemond harshly grabs your body again, arms wrapping around your waist. He bucks up faster, fucking you harder, and with a startled, pleasure-drunk cry into his mouth, you abruptly peak. He follows with a loud groan, and moves his face to the crook of your neck again, just like earlier in the evening.

He holds your body securely against himself, and after a while, you try to pry his arms away and get off him, but he just mumbles into your neck,

“No, please”

You lay your head back down and close your eyes. Aemond is deadly silent, but you feel his breath against the skin over your collarbones, and something wet slides down the hollow of your neck.

Shut out and without being allowed in, you try to soothe him the only way you know how,

“I love you”

Two days have passed since your live show in Winterfell, and your phone won’t stop buzzing with incoming calls from unknown numbers.

You know they’re from journalists hoping to get a comment from you about the performance and your new song, the drama of it clearly being about your ex husband fuelling their thirst for gossip.

You’d spent the time since the concert in isolation, essentially doing nothing besides watching TV and eating takeaway in your hotel room.

You left Winterfell yesterday, boarding an overnight flight to Oldtown for your next show.

Today, you’ve finally found a reason to get out of the hotel room, planning on an afternoon looking around the vintage shops that are scattered around the narrow cobblestone streets of the quaint town.

You spend nearly an hour in your favourite boutique; a hidden gem a few minutes away from one of the more famous shopping streets of the city.

When you and Aemond were still together, you often came to Oldtown to visit his mum. Seeking some familiarity after her husband, Viserys Targaryen, passed away, she decided to move back to her hometown and hasn’t left since.

Alicent thrived in the town she grew up in, and whenever you came to visit, she eagerly showed you around all the places she’d frequented with her friends as a young girl.

Aemond, in turn, had shown you his favourite spots as well; bookstores, record shops, and organic coffee shops. You remember that one time he tried to convince you that the all-natural, no sugar brownie he’d ordered tastes just as good as the real deal. The face of betrayal you made as you took a large bite of the brick-flavoured monstrosity he’d dared call a brownie caused Aemond to release the most out-of-character belly laugh you’ve ever heard.

The memory still pulls your lips into a smile.

Stop it!

You try to shake your head in a feeble attempt to erase the train of thought. You need to make new memories here now.

Memories not tainted by him.

The last rays of sun for the day shine through the gaps between the ancient buildings cramped together on the streets when you decide to make your way back to the hotel. You pull out your phone to type in the address, still not familiar with navigating Oldtown on your own. The map on your phone shows that it’s a 15 minutes walk along the water to your destination, the perfectly idyllic end to a quite okay afternoon.

The sun quickly sets behind the stoney, worn houses surrounding you, and street lights illuminate your path as you walk, enjoying the calmness of the rather large city. Most people have returned home as darkness envelops the streets, leaving you alone on your way back.

You turn to walk down one of the sidestreets towards the hotel, when you suddenly feel a hand on your shoulder, pulling you out from your thoughts.

You abruptly stop and look back, catching the gaze of a man you’ve never seen before. He smiles at you in a way that makes the hairs at the back of your neck stand.

Still with his hand on your shoulder, he asks,

“Aren’t you the singer from Dragon Dreamers?”

“Yes”, you reply, unsure of how to assess him. There’s something in his intense stare that causes unease to chill you from within, yet you appear to be frozen in place.

You have been approached by fans on occasion before, but never alone in a somewhat unfamiliar city.

“I’m a huge fan. This might be a bit forward, but could I take you out to dinner?”

The hand he has placed on your shoulder squeezes your flesh over your jacket. His eyes are expectant, not blinking, and his voice is slightly strained, adding to your already uncomfortable state.

“Thank you, but I’m on my way back to my hotel, and-, I-, I need to get back”

Your answer is hurried and clumsy, and you hope the stranger will understand your discomfort and leave you alone.

“Oh, where are you staying?”

His eyes light up when he adds,

“I can walk with you”

“That’s kind of you, really, but not necessary, I’m okay. Thanks”

You try to hide the dismissal behind a veil of politeness, hoping he’ll take the hint and leave you alone.

You turn around to walk away, almost stumbling over your own feet as they move quickly over the cobblestoned streets.

The man doesn’t say anything else, but you notice him in the corner of your eyes. He starts walking in the same direction as you, only a few steps behind. He’s close enough to keep you within his sight, far away enough for it to seem innocent.

Is he going to hurt you?

Your heart beats faster.

Force himself into your hotel room?

You can hear your heart drumming in your ears, panic washing over you.

You don’t dare to look back at him, afraid that he might take it as another invitation to engage you in conversation, but he stays in the corner of your eye; like an ever-looming monster.

Luckily, there’s a small group of people walking ahead of you, oblivious to the fact that you’re being followed by an unknown man.

What would he do if they weren’t here?

Your steps grow quicker.

You glance at your phone; still a 10 minutes walk until you reach the hotel. The man behind you speeds up his footsteps as well, matching your pace while staying a few metres behind you.

You’re still too scared to look behind and properly face him. The small group of people walking ahead of you look like they might turn by a sidestreet at any moment, and fear pierces your heart at the thought.

Then you’d be alone. With him.

Maybe there’s a corner shop or something around here where you can pop in and spend enough time for him to get bored and leave?

Or maybe you can call someone to come and meet you?

Looking up at the buildings surrounding you, you realise that you recognise this street.

This is the area where Alicent lives.

Maybe he’s staying there?

Before you can think any further, your fingers press on the screen of your phone, going into settings, unblocking the familiar number before pressing the little telephone icon.

You hear two signals before the call is cancelled.

Fuck! Now he ignores your calls?

Your fingers move quickly as you type out,

“sorry someone’s following me I’m walking home please pick up”.

Barely a second passes before your phone buzzes.

“Hi! Yes, I’m just around the corner, can you see me yet?”, you ask in a way too hurried tone, ruining your own attempt at sounding casual.

Your voice is loud and high-pitched as you try to signal to the man behind you that someone’s coming to meet you.

Hopefully he’ll give up his pursuit and leave you alone.

“What street are you on?”

You can hear Aemond shuffling around on the other side; picking up keys and putting on his shoes.

You look up at one of the buildings, reading the name of the street,

“Yes, I’m standing on Gardener Avenue, where you told me to meet you”, you continue to babble, hoping the shadow behind you will finally stop following you as it appears you’re about to meet someone.

“Do you remember the way to the apartment?”

“Yes"

“Walk towards it, I’m coming out to meet you. Stay on the phone with me”

Aemond sounds calm, but there’s something urgent hiding in his stoicism.

“Yes”

The conversation dies out. You’re not really on small-talking terms, so trying to fill the silence between the two of you proves tricky. Despite the silence and awkwardness, the panic that had been sprinting within you seems to ease knowing that Aemond is there.

The group in front of you eventually turn down a sidestreet, and in the corner of your eye, you see the man behind you walk faster, coming closer.

Another wave of fear crashes over you, and your heart beats so fiercely your chest hurts.

Is Aemond coming?

Maybe if you pretend to see him, you’ll finally be left alone.

“I think I see you!”, you exclaim in vain, hoping the man behind you won’t see through your lie.

He’s right behind you, so close you can hear his laboured breaths. You can’t breathe.

But then, you see the familiar silhouette of a tall man with broad shoulders appear in quick and confident steps around a corner.

The unknown man behind you seems to retreat in an instant, but it doesn’t stop Aemond from calling out,

“Were you fucking following her?”

He’s gone before any further confrontation. Left is you and Aemond, alone on a dark, empty street.

Closing your eyes, you try to take a few deep breaths to ground yourself, still feeling unnerved from what had just happened.

Breathe in.

Hold three seconds.

Breathe out.

Hold three seconds.

“Are you okay?”

You don’t open your eyes.

You can’t look up at him, knowing that the flicker of hatred in his eye as he regards you will push you over the edge; push you to release the tears that have been waiting to spill since the strange man first laid his hand on your shoulder.

“Yeah, just need to get back to the hotel”, you mumble and inhale deeply once again to ground yourself.

It doesn’t help, not really.

The lump in your throat feels like a painful stone blocking your airflow.

You feel Aemond step closer to you, tenderly placing a hand on your elbow as he silently waits for you to continue.

You reluctantly open your eyes to look up at him, surprised to find his face reflect gentle understanding. The unexpected act of kindness pushes you over the edge and you let out a shaky breath as you feel the pent-up tears spill from your eyes,

“Sorry, it’s just-, I mean, nothing happened, but…”

One of your hands comes up to wipe away the tears that slide down your cheeks.

“Something could’ve happened”, Aemond finishes for you. He sounds like he usually does; stoic, but you can sense the hint of sympathy there.

“Sorry for calling you so suddenly, I shouldn’t have-, I didn’t know who to call…”

The words tumble out of your mouth ungracefully, matching the hurried pace of your still frightened heart.

“Don’t apologise”

He squeezes your elbow softly in reassurance,

“Come back to mum’s place with me”, he says, “It’s just around the corner”

“No, really, I’m fine! Nothing happened and I need to rest before tomorrow’s show”, you explain as more tears slide down your cheeks.

Fucking stop crying.

“You shouldn’t be alone right now. Come up, just for a cup of tea to calm your nerves. Please?”

Aemond’s voice is more gentle than you remember him capable of.

Defeated, you reply with a silent nod and let him lead you back to his mum’s home.

As you step into Alicent’s lavish apartment, you're hit by nostalgia so potent it makes more tears well up in your already damp eyes.

Everything smells the same.

Everything looks the same.

“Is she here?”, you ask, voice small and unsteady.

“She’s out having dinner with Cole”

Aemond takes off his shoes and neatly places them on the shoe rack. He moves to the kitchen to fill the kettle and you follow closely behind, discreetly sweeping the back of your hand against your cheek to wipe away the tears that keep sliding down.

Fucking pull it together!

Aemond flicks his hand towards the chair by the small, round table in the corner of the kitchen; the breakfast nook where Alicent would serve coffee and fresh bread in the morning whenever you stayed over.

It’s all so familiar, yet being here feels so different; almost taboo. Like you’re not allowed here anymore.

You sit down and place your hands on the table, nervously tapping your fingers together as you wait for Aemond to bring the tea over.

He places the flower-patterned cup with gold details by your restless hands and sits down in the chair opposite yours,

“Drink”, he encourages and takes a sip from his own cup, seeing eye watching you intensely.

You pick up the cup, experimentally sipping, letting the hot beverage warm you from within.

It’s comforting.

“Do you really tell yourself I never loved you?”

Aemond’s sudden question takes you by such surprise, you nearly choke on your tea.

Your eyes dart up from watching the cup in your hand to watch him. His expression is as calculated as always; not letting you in on what he’s thinking. Still, his voice is gentle, like it’s been since he came to your rescue.

“I-”, you begin, trying to come up with an answer to his absurd query.

Why is he asking you this now?

“I mean, sometimes it felt like you didn’t love me”, you answer truthfully, carefully observing his reaction.

He gives nothing away as he hums in response.

“You seemed miserable being with me”, you add, wondering if this is the long overdue heart-to-heart both of you have been avoiding.

“Sometimes I was”, he replies matter of factly.

You’re not surprised by his response, not really, but having your suspicions confirmed allows you to prod further,

“I guess I just wonder whether you loved me, or just the idea of me?”

You know you’re poking a resting bear, but you can’t help yourself. You need to know what he thinks about all of this.

About you.

Aemond doesn’t blink when he answers,

“You were my first love”

You feel that all too familiar lump in your throat reappear.

“It was all so new to me, caring about someone so much. Someone who’s not family. I didn’t know how to handle those feelings”, he admits and you have to stop yourself from letting the astonishment you feel from his confession show on your face.

It’s quiet for a while. You are too shocked by Aemond’s sudden introspection, and he’s still cautious about opening up, observing you expectantly.

After a few deep breaths and some soothing tea, you speak up,

“I know things have been hard for you Aemond, and I-, I really tried to understand you. But my sympathy for you wasn’t endless… It-, I ran out”

You really don't want to fight, you don’t think you could handle it in the state you’re in now, but being honest with your ex husband always came with the risk of him lashing out.

He sighs, leans back, and locks eyes with you,

“I know. Thank you for… trying”

And that’s it. The conversation dies, like it’s run its course. Just like your relationship.

Aemond calls a taxi for you to bring you the short distance to the hotel. Both of you stay in your seats, waiting for your ride in silence.

There’s still one thing you need to tell him.

“I really want this to work, Aemond. The band, I mean”

Aemond hums in response again, finger tapping rhythmically against the top of Alicent’s kitchen table,

“Me too”, he replies after some time of silence.

It almost feels official in a way, the fact that you’ve finally agreed with each other that the band comes first; even before your broken hearts.

The silence persists as you down the last of your tea.

You feel a strange mixture of emptiness and melancholy inside. It all hits you at once; the divorce, removing his name from yours, continuing on as nothing more than business partners.

It starts as a sting in your chest, but blooms out into a suffocating ache.

He doesn’t want you anymore.

And you don’t want him; can’t want him.

It does not matter how wonderful it had been at times. The pain of the heartache you caused each other weighs heavier. And there’s nowhere to go but forward, even if your heart breaks with each step.

Life goes on.

The performance in Oldtown is just as exhilarating as the previous lives had been.

The crowd is loving every second and the venue is packed.

You feel alive.

This is it.

This is what matters.

Your biggest hit from your first album, Landslide, is a permanent feature in any show you play.

You’d written it from the sidelines, watching as duty tore the person you loved most into every direction possible.

Tonight, as you stay on the stage with Aemond and your band members retreat backstage, singing Landslide suddenly feels different.

You shoot him a quick glance before approaching your mic to introduce the next song.

They’re shouting your name, shouting Aemonds name, and you think you hear someone yell out ‘the sound of the woman that loved you!’

Speaking with Aemond earlier today, when you agreed you’d prioritise the band over any dispute you had, has left you nostalgic. Singing ‘Landslide’ feels like offering a piece of your heart, the heart he had held in his palm, to him once again.

“I wrote this song about a boy who had to grow up too fast”, you say, and Aemond starts to pluck the strings of his guitar.

‘I took my love and I took it down’

‘I climbed a mountain and I turned around’

‘And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills’

'Til the landslide brought me down’

You’d never told Aemond you wrote this song about him and his grandfather.

There was never any need to. You’re convinced that he already knows it’s about them.

You can’t help but to look over at him; at the way his hands move gracefully over the guitar.

‘Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?’

‘Can the child within my heart rise above?’

Leaving his grandfather’s firm and subsequently leaving the path his entire life had led to had been tough for him, even with you by his side.

And now he’ll have to navigate this new course alone.

You still find yourself worrying about him; for the boy robbed of his vision, forced to grow up faster than most.

‘Can I sail through the changin' ocean tides?’

‘Can I handle the seasons of my life?’

‘Well, I've been afraid of changin'

'Cause I've built my life around you’

He’s had to adapt; had to rethink and relearn everything before.

He will be fine.

Maybe you just worry about him because you hope, somewhere inside, that he won’t be fine without you?

A selfish wish for him to need you.

‘But time makes you bolder’

‘Even children get older’

‘And I'm getting older too’

It’s time to let go.

For the first time since the beginning of the tour, you don’t feel an urgent need to escape to the solitude of your hotel room as soon as the show is over.

You move unhurried backstage, gathering your things, looking over your stage outfits, pondering if you’ll wear the same thing each night or mix it up.

Just when you’re about to leave, you see auburn hair flash by as Alicent Hightower enters the backstage area, throwing her arms around her two children, loudly gushing over how incredible the show had been.

You go back to inspect your wardrobe with your back turned to them, suddenly feeling stiff and awkward with your ex mother-in-law in the room.

You haven’t seen her in months, not since before the divorce.

As the chatter behind you dies down, the clicking of heels grows louder before coming to a halt.

You know she’s standing behind you, one gentle hand coming up to lightly tap your back.

You turn around with a forced smile on your face.

How do you act around your ex-husband’s mother?

Alicent’s large, warm eyes shimmer as she looks you over, grabbing your shoulders to pull you in for a hug.

“Darling, what an incredible show! You were absolutely fantastic”, she compliments, smiling wide.

You smile back at her,

“Thank you, Alicent”

“How are you holding up?”

Her tone is soft, and her hands stay on both sides of your shoulders.

“I’m good”, you reply shortly, not really sure whether you should confide in your ex-husband's mother or not.

“I’m so glad you can put your differences aside and continue to work together”, she says sympathetically, but her choice of words make you wince slightly.

“And now is your opportunity to be brave. You’re both such wonderful artists. Focus on the music, alright?”

“Yes”

Your answer sounds meek. Her words send a pang straight to your heart.

It’s all so final.

It’s all over.

You look into each other’s eyes, a thousand words said within mere seconds as you feel your eyes well up with tears.

Alicent offers you a sad smile before embracing you in another warm hug.

Silent, hot tears slide down your cheeks as you mumble into her hair, “Will you take care of him?”

She pats your head, hand sliding down to stroke your hair lovingly, And then she hums, sounding so much like her son.

“Mm. Thank you for loving him”

A/N: Thank you sm for reading!

[barcaatthemoon]

lover girl || kate martin x reader ||

Kate comes to you needing a little love.

MINORS DNI, 18+, Smut warning.

You had never been with anybody as sweet as Kate Martin. It wasn't your fault, but you seemed to only ever attract womanizers and heartbreakers. For years, you had thought that you could fix them with love and care. Instead, all you had to show for it was heartbreak and despair.

Kate was different. Kate loved you just as much as you loved her, maybe even more. You had never even considered what it would be like to have a partner. Kate wasn't just your girlfriend or someone who you slept with after games. No, Kate Martin was your partner. She loved and cherished you even whenever you weren't doing what she wanted you to.

"Baby?" Kate called out. You had been up in your office finishing up a few things for work. Kate had gone out with some of the girls to play a pick up game at a park with some local kids. You loved that Kate was giving back to the new community who had accepted her as one of their own. Going from Iowa to Vegas was a big move, and you were happy that she had found her footing so easily.

You hadn't moved from Iowa, being a Las Vegas native. You were a friend of friend at first, but you and Kate had quickly hit it off. All it had taken was a bit of prodding from your friends and a night out on the town with Kate to kick off your relationship. The two of you took off running together and never dared to look back, and you were happier for it.

"I know that you were working, and it's honestly kind of late, but…" Kate trailed off as she cleared her throat. You turned around in your desk chair to see Kate looking like a nervous wreck. You pouted as you stood up and walked over towards her.

"Come on, talk to me," you told her. It was gentle prodding, something that you had learned from her. Both of you hated the idea of being a burden, so you were always hesitant to go to one another whenever you needed something.

"It's stupid, you're busy." Kate tried to turn away from you, but you didn't let her. You leaned up on your toes to press a kiss to her cheek. Kate was blushing when you started to pull away, and her arms held you tightly to keep you in close. "What are you working on?"

"Nothing really. I was watching YouTube," you admitted. Kate let out a small chuckle as she glanced back at your desktop. The video you'd been watching was paused, and Kate could see herself on the screen giving an interview. "What can I say? I'm kind of obsessed with you."

"It's okay, I am too." Kate had never shied away from how much she loved you. Your relationship moved fast, but you and Kate were good. Nothing felt rushed, you just enjoyed each other's company, and things just happened to align perfectly for both of you. "So much so that I was wondering if I could steal you away for a little bit?"

"Oh yeah?" you asked. Kate's hand subtly moved from the small of your back to rest on your ass. "What for?"

"I want you. I need to be close to you and feel you. Just for a little while, please. I need a bit of love," Kate said. She seemed close to begging with you, like she'd get on her knees if you asked. Lucky for her, you didn't want that from Kate. You wanted her to be happy, and if you were being honest, you always wanted Kate in that way. It was like an addiction almost, the thought of her taking you to bed every single night sitting in the back of your head during your every waking moment.

"Let's go." You hadn't even finished your sentence before Kate was scooping you into her arms. She carried you all the way from your little office to the bedroom. You wondered what Kate had been doing while you worked in your office. She had been back for maybe an hour or so before she had come to get you. The bed was still pristinely made from when she woke up, so you doubted that she had taken a nap.

"I love you," Kate mumbled against your lips. She placed a few clumsy kisses against your lips, waiting until you grabbed her face to pull her focus in. You tangled your fingers in her hair, tugging it out of the loose ponytail she had thrown it up in after her shower.

The two of you stayed entangled in each other as Kate set you down on the bed. Even as she undressed you, Kate was reluctant to move just half an inch away. She was being clingy, and you absolutely ate it up. You had never been with someone who wanted you so genuinely before, nor had you ever felt the same. There was nothing about Kate to fix, and yet, being with her filled you with a sense of happiness you had never known.

"I love you. I love you. I love you." Kate repeated again and again, each time pressing a kiss to your skin as she did so. She trailed kisses down your body, stopping just below your navel. Your pants were off, tossed somewhere on the ground near the hamper, but Kate had left your underwear on. She stared at you as she waited for you to tell her that she could continue. It didn't matter how comfortable the two of you were with each other, she always waited for you to give her permission when it came to the most vulernable parts of yourself. "Can I, please?"

"You're the only person I ever want to touch me like this," you told her. Kate blushed as she pulled your underwear down. She held eye contact with you, only allowing her eyes to dart down once you had looked away from her. Kate swallowed nervously, just she always did.

"Before I do anything." Kate moved up to give you a kiss before she settled back in between your legs. Your thighs were moved to rest on her shoulders as her arms looped around your hips. Kate was slow and gentle as she decorated the insides of your thighs in kisses. Finally, when you felt like you were on the verge of begging and pleading for more, Kate's lips pressed a kiss to your cunt.

Kate's fingers gently spread you open, revealing you to her completely. You threaded your fingers in Kate's hair, not pushing or pulling her in any direction. Her hands were busy, and you just wanted to holding onto her. Kate understood this, and let the fingers on her free hand move back and forth against your stomach.

You took deep breaths, matching the slow strokes of Kate's tongue. She was just trying to taste you. It wasn't about getting you off just yet, you still had a little ways to go until you got desperate. This was Kate's favorite part of things, when the two of you could just exist in this intimate space without any sort of push or pull going on.

"Fuck Kate, that feels so good," you moaned. Kate hummed her thanks as she brought her fingers up to rub against your clit. Your hips bucked forward, grinding against her fingers as her tongue lapped lazily at your entrance. Every drop of your arousal that she could get, Kate took. The strokes of her tongue began to grow feverish, and you knew that Kate was close to switching positions on you.

Her tongue replaced her fingers, and the two fingers that had been rubbing your clit were pushed inside of you. Kate let you move on her fingers, setting the rhythm and pace for her. She was quick to match your pace, long fingers grazing every spot you could have wanted her to in the process. Kate was good at what she did in every aspect of life, so you weren't embarrassed to come crashing down around her fingers so quickly.

Kate gently guided you through your orgasm. You felt light and airy, like the only thing keeping you from floating away was Kate's body on top of yours. She had pushed your legs from her shoulders, and now rested on top of you. Your hands were still in her hair, just barely scratching at her scalp. Kate was staring up at you when you finally glanced down at her, but you had no clue how long she'd been watching you for.

"Hi." Kate's smile was bright as she turned and pressed a kiss between your hips. She rolled completely onto her stomach and began to move higher up onto the bed. Now, it was your turn to lay against Kate as she opened her arms for you. "Shh, rest easy babe."

"Don't you-,"

"No, this was all I wanted. It's late. We can revisit this tomorrow when I get back from practice," Kate told you. You glanced over at the alarm clock, and she was right. Kate's practices for the next two weeks were all early ones, and it was nearly midnight already. "Do you need me to get you anything?"

"I'm fine. I can do it myself," you told her. Kate may have let you get up, but she still followed you around like a puppy. It was sweet how she still tried helping even with the easiest of tasks. You wanted her to get back in bed, but Kate didn't end up going back until you were comfortably tucked in beside her.

[luvhughes43]

BOYFRIEND | quinn hughes

[luvhughes43 masterlist🌙]

based off the song boyfriend by ariana grande

summary: every summer without fail you and quinn fall back into old habits... you two aren't official but the feelings are there.

word count: 3.4k

i'm a motherfuckin' train wreck i don't wanna be too much but i don't wanna miss your touch and you don't seem to give a fuck

all of your life you had four loves. there was shitty reality television, your home state-michigan, your summers at your familys lake house, and then there was quinn hughes.

you had always loved him even if you hadn't recognized it yourself. back then, both of your parents would make little comments about how they're going to end up together one day! but when you stayed in michigan and quinn moved to vancouver everything changed.

when quinn left school to pursue hockey you assumed that your friends with benefits situation would fizzle out. but it hadn't. and so youre left wanting as you watch the brunet boy trapeze around his backyard - greeting boys he'd seen countless times over the hockey season while you were stuck at school.

when you finally do catch this eye, he waltz over with a shit-eating grin. "hey, haven't seen you in awhile," he teases, pulling you under his impressive arm. you stumble into his side with practice ease and quinn tilts his head to look down your solo cup. "the fuck is that?"

you hold the cup over your head to where you assumed his lips would be, "i dont know jack made it - 'could be anything,"

quinn reaches for the cup and takes a measured sip. "that'll kill you," he winces, spilling the cups contents on the grass and tossing the cup along with it.

you sigh, peeved. quinn did this thing where he assumes he knows what's best. "i was actually drinking that,"

"yeah, yeah, i'll get you something else," he says distractedly as someone from across the yard flags him down.

just as quinns about to leave again you grab his arm and pull him back to you. even though you're embarrassed to ask you lower your voice and whisper, "when am i going to see you again?"

quinn pauses. "like, are we gonna..."

you remain silent, not wanting to say what you truly want. it was easier to hint at your forays instead of being honest about things. "i'll catch up with you tonight, promise" he kisses the underside of your wrist before shouting playfully to someone in the distance.

i don't wanna keep you waiting but i do just what i have to do and i might not be the one for you but you ain't about to have no boo

an hour later you wander inside the boy's house to grab yourself a refill. there was still no sign of quinn - and so you decide to unwind a little bit before the night truly got underway. every year the guys would host a party to reign in the end of the season. guys from across the country would travel and spend a week in michigan celebrating with packs of zyns, cases of beer, and endless rounds of golf.

"zyn?" trevor zegras says as he holds out a small white pouch towards you. you shake your head no and trevor shoves the circular box back into his short pockets.

"i heard he's single," a girl to your left whispers loudly to a group of her friends. trevors head turns instinctively,but you pay the group of girls no attention.

"ten bucks they're talking about me," trevor leans down and whispers.

"twenty bucks they're not," you announce back and then the two of you messily shake on it. you probably shouldn't have gone to jack for a refill on his concoction but quinn was taking too long so...

"well quinns hot so if he is single, i'll try it," you're not sure what it was exactly but your face heats up regardless. beside you, trevor groans and fishes his wallet out of his back pocket.

youre pretty sure he tries to hand you a wad of crumpled up ones but you were no longer paying attention to trevor or your bets. instead, your focus shifted to a gorgeous blonde hyping herself up to go and talk to your best friend.

'cause I know we be so complicated but we be so smitten, it's crazy i can't have what I want, but neither can you

"alright... i know they're wrinkled but cash is legal tender..." trevor trails off obnoxiously and thus you grab hold of his ten dollars clenching your fist.

"i'll see you later?" you call out distractedly, solely focused on the blonde approaching quinn across the room.

you ain't my boyfriend (boyfriend) and I ain't your girlfriend (girlfriend) but you don't want me to see nobody else and I don't want you to see nobody

it was wrong to use others for personal gain but you were sure there had to be an exception for making somebody jealous. plus, it wasn't like quinn was a saint either.

you vividly remember how quinn chatted up some girl in your class two years ago at a frat party. it was a shitty thing to do, considering how much you complained about that particular girls work ethic after she left you hanging on a group project.

the next morning, quinn had stopped by your apartment to apologize with a bouquet of peonies in hand. you had reluctantly forgiven him, but because the two of you weren't exactly exclusive the fight dissolved on your tongue before you could even properly fight about it.

"hey baby," you tease all your syllables - making sure the baby really rings out in tune. quinns smile doesn't falter at your emergence, instead, he grins as his attention turns from the blonde and onto you.

"y/n," he glances between you and the new girl. you'd have to work for his attention a little more than you'd like to tonight. "as i was saying..." quinn resumes his conversation with the girl slowly, trying his hardest to piss you off.

a tuft of dark black hair peeks it's way through your peripheral and your head immediately turns to find alex turcotte standing alone a few feet away. "turcs!" you call out in the same teasing tone you'd used on quinn and alexs attention is immediately focused on you.

"baby!" he yells jovially, and you could not have planned something better yourself. baby, was a nickname assigned to you after a particular summer in which you were obsessed with dirty dancing. you had pranced around the house to its soundtrack and forced anybody who was around to dance with you - all embarrassingly bad imitations of patrick swayze.

you dont turn to acknowledge quinns reaction but you imagine it as you sway your way over to alex. quinns face would be scrunched up in annoyance, and his eyes would darken just a tad to accompany his scowl. if there was one thing quinn hated more than he liked teasing you, it was you teasing him back.

"so strong!" you laugh loudly, gripping onto alex's arm. his hand brushes across your lower back and you smile brightly when he leaves it resting there.

"you really know how to work a guy, huh?" he laughs before removing his hand altogether. "what are you drinking?" he asks then, shifting tones dramatically from flirtatious to friends-since-childhood.

"i don't know jack made it," you hold the cup up to his face and he recoils with a scuff.

"you're going to be so sick tomorrow,"

you take a sip of your drink before glancing back in quinns direction. his dark eyes were still trained on you but the blonde was still at his side. flirting with alex was truly petty. both you and quinn knew nothing would ever come of it but it was still fun to get him riled up anyway.

but you ain't my boyfriend (boyfriend) and I ain't your girlfriend (girlfriend) but you don't want me to touch nobody else baby, we ain't gotta tell nobody

"want to get me something else?" you ask with a soft voice and you hope it carries to where quinns standing.

alex looks at you momentarily before shaking his head quickly. "uh, yeah, yeah let's go to the kitchen..." you take the lead in your venture to the kitchen and alex slinks his arm around your waist.

you barely make it out of the living room before quinn interrupts your path. "hey man, its been awhile," his smile is strained as he reaches a hand out to alex. the two greet each other and the flashes of disappointment on quinns face is evident when alex doesnt take his arm away from your body.

"where ya two heading?" he asks.

alex hits his solo cup against yours and a slosh of molten liquid rolls over the rim of your cup and onto your new white shoes. "this one needs a new drink. jack made her another one his his "concoctions,"" alex laughs easily but quinns face is entirely tense.

you stay silent.

"oh, i can take her," quinn says with a slight edge.

"it's no worries i can do it," alex assures him with a small smile. "i think jacks in the kitchen and i wanna say hello," he adds when quinn makes no move to back down.

"uh, i just saw him go outside actually," quinn states and you wonder if you should interrupt.

the two boys stare at each other tensely and alex drops his hand from your waist. "i'll see you later baby?" alex mutters lowly, and your head spins from whatever moment you just missed right there.

you nod dismissively to alex and watch in silence as he rapidly walks out of the living room. "what was that for?" you ask quinn as soon as you turn to face him. as expected, his eyebrows were scrunched together and his face show small signs of annoyance.

"you need a drink," is all quinn responds with, and you follow behind him slowly as he maneuvers his way through small crowds of people.

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

your vodka cranberry was slowly spilling its contents onto quinns hardwood floor as it lay discarded.

"your floors getting all wet," you mumble against quinns lips the second the two of you pull apart. his hair was messy and his cheeks flush when he notices you staring.

"dont care," he huffs, pulling your hips flush against his own. "'been too long sine i've seen you last,"

you kiss his neck teasingly, "the wood will get ruined,"

quinn sighs and pulls away from you. he strips his shirt off and lets it fall atop your discarded solo cup. his confidence was something that had grown over the years and you were pleasantly delighted.

"thank you," you whisper to him as he slides his arms back against you. you wait for him to say something - mention what happened downstairs but quinn remains silent.

instead, he leads you backwards to his bed with well practiced ease. the games you two play were fun when they ended up like this, but at the same time you felt a twinge for something more.

even though you ain't mine, i promise the way we fight make me honestly feel like we just in love 'cause baby, when push comes to shove damn baby, i'm a train wreck, too (too) i lose my mind when it comes to you i take time with the ones I choose and I don't want to smile if it ain't from you, yeah

the sun streams through quinns open curtains, blinding him momentarily as his eyes adjust to the morning light. when everything comes into focus the first thing he notices is your figure curled up on the other side of his bed like a cat. quinn stretches and despite the brief disturbance your eyes stay firmly closed.

downstairs the house was a mess. empty bottles and cups littered the wood floors and empty food wrappers crinkle uncomfortably under quinns tired feet.

"morning," jack says as soon as his older brother steps into the dimly lit kitchen. jacks sandy hair is tousled and if his undereye bags were any indication of how he was feeling... it was clear that he was unwell.

"you look like shit," quinn chuckles as he tosses jack a bottle of aspirin.

"gee, thanks." jack rolls his eyes but pops a pill nonetheless.

quinn fixes himself some toast and the two brothers sit in comfortable silence.

"where's yn," jack asks, nursing a yellow gatorade.

"sleeping,"

jack hums in acknowledgement. he stares inquisitively at his brother - silently hinting at what's going on between the blurred lines of quinns and yns relationship, but quinn ignores him.

i know we be so complicated lovin' you sometime drive me crazy 'cause i can't have what I want and neither can you

late the next afternoon after tirelessly scrubbing down the floors and tossing out empty cans, the group of hockey players and friends make their way onto the lake.

as always, quinn drives and docks the boat in the middle of the lake so the group could swim and yn could suntan on the hard, white seats of the boat.

quinn wasnt an idiot. he knew that his best friend was hot. the stolen glances and not-so-subtle double takes weren't lost on him as his friends ogled her. she was undeniably gorgeous and someday their relationship wouldn't be enough anymore. she would eventually want more, and quinn wasn't sure he'd be able to give her a relationship she deserved from two thousand miles away.

you ain't my boyfriend (boyfriend) and i ain't your girlfriend (girlfriend) but you don't want me to see nobody else and i don't want you to see nobody

˚₊ · »-♡→ [instagram]

yourusername

liked by trevorzegras, bradytkachuk, joshnorris10, 3 333 others

yourusername daydreamin' 🧸

"what's the deal with yn and quinn anyway? have they always been so... intense?" alexander holtz asks between shooting pool.

jack sighs, "yeah theyre always like that. i wish they'd just get over whatever they've got going on and get together already. its honestly painful to watch," jack jokes tensely.

alex tuts, "i wish she were available"

another guy hums, "she's a total smoke show,"

"ew, shes like our sister," luke pipes up.

"your sister maybe," someone laughs. "she ain't mine,"

quinn silently turns away from the rec room to find you.

but you ain't my boyfriend (boyfriend) and i ain't your girlfriend (girlfriend) but you don't want me to touch nobody else baby, we ain't gotta tell nobody

"hey," you smile sweetly at quinns presence. he stares at you simply before sitting down on the decksteps next to you. he frowns when you set your book down beside you and you press your knee to his in an attempt to calm him. "what's wrong?"

quinn sighs deeply. "i just - i dont know. what are we doing?"

"what do you mean?" you ask even though you know where this conversation is heading.

quinn gestures between the two of you, "we've... things are different now,"

"i don't know what you're talking about," you say, genuinely taken off guard. "if this is about the party...?"

"we'd be an awful couple," quinn cuts in.

"who called us a couple?,"

"look, you're going to want more eventually and-"

you scoff. "are you going to actually talk to me? because i'm fine with out arrangement," you lie.

quinn stares at you with an unreadable expression. "look, it's not going to work"

"did the guys say something to you?" you bite. you reach your hand out to quinn but he pushes it away.

"no. i just don't think us being... involved... is a good idea anymore,"

"'involved'" you say sarcastically. you've been hooking up for three years now.

quinn stands up suddenly, "yeah. it's over - i'm over it,"

"okay?" youre defiant. "don't come begging to me when you see me with another guy - or when you need a quick lay. god, youre such an asshole!"

i wanna kiss you (yeah), don't wanna miss you (yeah) but i can't be with you 'cause i got issues yeah, on the surface, seem like it's easy careful with words, but it's still hard to read me

quinn didn't know why he shut everything down. he didn't want to - not really anyway. it was all so stupid and he shouldn't have reacted at all.

Stress high when the trust low (mmm) Bad vibes, where'd the fun go? (Oh) Try to open up and love more (love more) Try to open up and love more

the two friends move around each other awkwardly and the tension in the house was palpable. you start to skip out on summer activities, and quinn no longer seems to enjoy driving out into the lake when you were no longer sitting by his side. everything felt wrong.

If you were my boyfriend If you were my girlfriend I probably wouldn't see nobody else But I can't guarantee that by myself

"you know what, i'm glad we decided to all us quits. you were totally right! we wouldnt have made a good couple - you probably wouldnt have stopped seeing other people," your tone is scorching as you finally catch quinn alone.

"yeah well considering your track record you'd probably have gotten with somebody else before i even boarded my flight back to van," quinns quick to defend himself - leaving you reeling.

"what the fuck are you talking about?" you seethe, letting all your emotions wash over you at once.

"alex, that guy from u of m, the fucking football player!" quinn stresses the names of the last two, knowing those were the guys you hooked up while you were both at school.

you throw your arms up in the air, "you are such a hypocrite! do you know that? like seriously. lets not go tit for tat here quinn because trust i'll win every time,"

"everything always a game with you,"

you stare at him blankly. "what are we doing then? you told me the jealously was fun, you were the one who led me to your bed last week! you didn't want to get into a relationship in a first place!"

"so did you! don't spin this back on me!"

"i never said that!" you yell, "and i never got with alex,"

You ain't my boyfriend (boyfriend, you ain't my boyfriend) And I ain't your girlfriend (girlfriend, I ain't your girlfriend) But you don't want me to see nobody else (nobody) And I don't want you to see nobody

"you might as well be," quinn tries to bait you but you dont respond.

tears well up in your eyes, "you said you didn't see us being in an actual relationship"

at the sight of your tears quinn starts to backtrack. "im sorry-"

"no, i started all this," you say, wiping away your tears with the back of your sleeve. "i'm sorry for getting mad at you - i'm done,"

"what do you mean youre done?" quinn responds, following behind you as you walk back into the lake house. as soon as the sliding door slams shut heads turn towards the two of you.

"you said you were done and i agree," you say simply, tears threatening to spill over as you catch sight of luke staring at you in confusion.

without another word you storm up the stairs and begin packing your suitcase.

But you ain't my boyfriend (boyfriend, you know you ain't my boyfriend) And I ain't your girlfriend (girlfriend, yeah, mmm) But you don't want me to touch nobody else (nobody) Baby, we ain't gotta tell nobody (oh yeah)

your hands grip the steering wheel tightly as you drive the fifteen minute trip to your parents house. it was over, finally over between the two of you.

You ain't my boyfriend (boyfriend) And I ain't your girlfriend (girlfriend) But you don't want me to see nobody else And I don't want you to see nobody

a week went by, and everybody presses quinn on why you left.

"i don't know guys, stop asking me about it," his answer stays the same, although his undereyes get considerably darker as the days go by.

But you ain't my boyfriend (boyfriend) And I ain't your girlfriend (girlfriend, yeah) But you don't want me to touch nobody else (nobody) Baby, we ain't gotta tell nobody

˚₊ · »-♡→ [instagram]

yourusername

liked by _alexturcotte, jackhughes, yourfriend, and 1 403 others

yourusername baby loves 🎧

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yourfriend baby loves im tryna talk to youuuuu

yourusername theres a boy ! and i dont quite know... what to dooo

_alexturcotte stunner ⚡️

user01 did u and quinn have a fight or something ? why did u guys unfollow each other lololll

user05 literal princess !!!

user11 quinn unfollowed and alex commenting... 👀

_quinnhughes

liked by lhughes_06, bradytkachuk, 18 005 others

_quinnhughes summa with the brothers 🤟

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trevorzegras #Aesthetic

user08 no mention of yn... were cooked

user15 first summer photo numb in yearrrssss where yn didnt make a feature... 🫣👀

────୨ৎ──── ended insanely abruptly but i wanted to post something for u guys today😭

────୨ৎ────

────୨ৎ────

[a-d-nox]

nox tests hypotheses: "saturn tells you what annoys you"

this is one of shawtyherbs hypotheses. this is how i feel this manifests for me in my chart and why i believe this hypothesis works. my saturn is located in my 3h, in taurus at 29°... let's take deep dive!

taurus saturn

a lack of discipline: i feel like i have a strong work ethic - i value hard work. i despised when i did group work in school and i was paired up with procrastinators or people who were unwilling to put in the necessary effort to achieve a good grade. it felt like every time i had my part done i would start getting anxious that the other person/people didn't. it felt like a manipulation - like we were playing chicken. if they didn't do it, would i do it for them? how long did they have to wait until i stepped in?

instability and unpredictability: sudden changes, chaotic environments, and erratic behavior can make me uncomfortable, anxious, and annoyed. i guess it's sort of like a trauma response from childhood except now i get irritable... everyone know my dislike for surprises.

wastefulness: i get easily irritated by wastefulness, whether it's wasting time, money, or resources. again maybe its from my childhood and having those experiences. but i am the type of person who arrives on time. if i buy something and don't like it i use it until it's gone, i eat it til its gone (even if its stale), or i use it til its paid itself off (if i buy a shirt and can't return it and it was $30, i am wearing it 30 times). it sounds strange - i know - but it is how i am...

superficiality: i really value authenticity. i feel like i am easily annoyed by superficial behavior, materialism without substance, and people who put on mask to fit in... like so what if you don't laugh at someone's shit joke, so what if i am happy with my hydroflask and want nothing to do with a stanley (it's all the same to me), and who cares if your true self is not everyone's favorite (you'll find your people a whole lot faster if you're your self).

resisting practicality: you know how much advice i have given throughout the years THAT WAS ASKED FOR and people did what they wanted anyway??? why even waste my time if you don't want outside perspective. or something its just kind advice to help with ease like hi you are using a stain on the deck, i recommend you wipe as you go so it dries quicker and you don't accidentally smear/smudge later. but nooooo.....

saturn at 29°

arrogance: you know it's okay to be wrong... it's not okay to pontificate about how you were right in some alternate scenario. just admit you were wrong in this situation and move on or better yet say nothing...

irresponsibility: when you say you are going to do something do it. if you are a leader then lead and know that you are responsible for anything you designate to someone you view as your subordinate (especially when you don't train them on what you want them to do for you). if you can't commit to having a task or being in charge than don't do it. someone is relying on you - it's 10 times worse when its yourself and you push goals to the side.

unfounded claims/criticisms: perhaps i am overly sensitive to criticism because i tend to take my work and my self a bit too seriously. but if you can't take yourself and what you do seriously, then who will? i take everything personally too. so when i get criticism and its said in a nasty way (at least how i interpret it) or there is a lack of explanation or no backing i will get annoyed. you bet my humor will be ill-tempered... you can't expect me to react well to a comment like "you're wrong". like wow okay so detailed, i'm glad you decided to write one word and a contraction to dismiss my 2k essay. like if you are going to criticize me or disprove me make it detailed and make it sound. and if i do something wrong its probably because no one told me how to do it in the first place (cough cough work) so don't snap at me, walk me through it.

lack of respect: now listen - i'm no angel, i was a teenager once - eyerolls and all. but now that i am a bit older (she said at 23) i am getting to the point where respect isn't freely given (unless its to build a good first impression) but instead its earned in a pre-existing relationship. i don't tolerate disrespect, no one is going to snap at me and tell me what to do. you do that and you will get the opposite reaction that you expect from me (speaking from real life situations). asserting dominance doesn't make you worthy of respect, it makes you a bully.

3h

superficial conversations: i said it why back when in one of my get to know me posts. i prefer deep, meaningful conversations and i find small talk / superficial chatter frustrating or pointless. like skip to the meat bruv - we don't have all this time for "hi how are you?" "good how are you?"

disorganization: a lack of structure, whether in communication, in a learning environments, or my daily routines, irritates me. i feel like it effects me most in the routine bit. weekends are my prime culprit because my schedule falls apart. during the week my meals and tasks are standardized, but on the weekend, i somehow manage to always get annoyed because i eat lunch late or what i had in my mind to do gets tossed aside...

gossip/rumors: i feel uncomfortable with gossip, i prefer facts and reliable knowledge. which i know facts seems shaky when i am posting the content i do... but generally facts over fiction in conversations. gossip and the like almost always gets me in trouble - i struggle with holding my tongue especially when i see someone regularly who has been gossiped about frequently. withholding information is a form of lying in my opinion - and lying makes me extremely uncomfortable.

impulsive decisions: i am trying to get better about this because i tend to carefully deliberate everything. but i don't like when others around me make impulsive decisions that effect me because it ruins the plan i already had in my mind. for example, last weekend i wanted to go to an all day fall festival with my mother (and yes i told her tuesday my plan) but last minute my mother's boyfriend-not-boyfriend said he needed her help with a project and it was going to be an all weekend thing. so friday night my plan went out the window. so quickly had to make a new plan consisting of paid readings, trader joe's, and shampooing my couch (fun stuff i know...).

a lack of respect for rules/boundaries: a disregard for social norms, etiquette, and established rules of communication annoys me so badly. like it is common courtesy (at least for how i was raised) to call or write in advance of stopping over at someone's house. my mother's boyfriend-not-boyfriend is the biggest perpetrator of this behavior. they aren't technically dating anymore so hello hi in my opinion he should be giving us a heads up if he will be stopping over. also switching gears when i say "no" or "i don't want to" i feel like a lot of people around me push me and test me to see if i will change my tune. i don't appreciate that in the slightest. i make clear boundaries in all the relationships i have (even here i have guidelines) - so yes, you bet i get frustrated when i vocalized or wrote my boundaries and yet they get ignored.

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[sappho-made-me-do-it]

Listen to me cuz this has me up and dripping at 2:26am. Having someone use my oral fixation to their advantage.

Me being on my knees looking up to them with drool down my chin as they keep working their fingers in and out of my mouth. They play with my tongue, my teeth, their fingers just roaming freely. When they’re done they decide to blind fold me and then man girl handle me throwing me in bed laying facing up, close to the edge, my head almost dangling. Me laying there all wiggly. Knees apparently too close… they ask me “What’s wrong babygirl, what are you hiding?” As they force my legs open to see how dripping wet I am. “Well, would you look at that. Just as expected… you love so much being treated like the pretty little toy you are, huh?” I can barely say anything, just whimpering at their touch, nodding and moving my hips up and down as they slap my pussy making me whine in pleasure.

They leave me there for a bit… It gets quiet… only thing loud is my mind all excited wondering what are they looking for, what are they going to do to me, ugh! Finally I feel them caressing my face. Their electric touch giving me tingles down my whole body. They run their hands slowly from my face, down my neck, stopping and groping at my tits, tracing my belly and finally landing where i missed them the most. This time, they didn’t need to force my legs open since they were automatically spreading out as their hands made their way down. I feel them sitting by my side. I can suddenly feel their mouth on my tits giving them small kisses…Almost simultaneously…they slide their fingers inside me feeling how easy they slipped in as they suck on my nipples and play with their tongue on them. I can’t help it but moan to their touch. Rough but gentle. Just a perfect combination. Fingers curling up inside me, tits getting sucked… fuck! What else?!

They get up and stand right in front of my face. Grabbing it and making me open wide as they give small slaps on my cheeks so i can stay focus. I can’t help but smirk at this cuz they know how much I am enjoying this. I think my wetness is enough evidence for that. Finally they lean closer and I can feel something poking at my face. Without being asked to, or guided to, my mouth is wide open trying to catch their strap in my mouth. So, so hungry for them. Finally my tongue can feel it sliding in and out slowly. Feeling them leaning closer to me, placing one hand on my waist and curling their fingers in my cunt at once as they pick up the pace at face-fucking me. I don’t even care if my gag reflex tries to act up… I will do my best to be the most perfect toy for them.

You are telling me that I get to cum while having my mouth fucked over and over and my hole full with their fingers?! Or maybe not… maybe they decide to edge me and make me extra desperate for their strap to be filling me up instead… or what if they pull out completely leaving me all spread out in bed drool down my face, pussy empty and drenched while they just lean on the door frame looking at their messy artwork. What would you do next?

3:26am

[loggiepj]

To Love A Lannister

chapter 13 | chapter 14

"We'll arrive at Sunspear in a week's time," Oberyn announced, approaching you leaning against the railing on the quarterdeck, facing the vast ocean ahead.

Darkness had started to loom around the ship, waves almost as black as a squid's ink. The sun was almost a quarter visible as it was being consumed by the horizon, obliterating any light. The only thing shining across the distance was the red patch of sky encircling the edges of the sun. If it weren't for the torches surrounding the deck, you wouldn't be able to see the Dornishman standing beside you. "How do you feel about that? A lot has changed since we left home."

"Indeed," you said. "I thought I'd look forward to my warm bed and the fresh air of Dorne back home. Now, it seems like I'm terrified setting foot on some land I thought was my birthplace."

"You don't have to be," he assured you. "You're not alone, you know. And your sister is the Queen—"

"She doesn't even know who I am, does she?" You turned to look at him.

Oberyn shrugged. "She will. In time."

You sighed, avoiding his gaze. The sky had turned blood orange. "And I . . . I don't think I'm worthy to be a Targaryen as much as I'm a Martell."

"Don't be so hard on yourself-"

"I'm a bastard, if any, I'm just good at being a bastard. That's all I'll ever be. You know, I think I probably prefer being a bastard, with no one expecting me of anything—"

"The blood of Rhaella Targaryen runs through your veins," Oberyn interjected. "You don't know yet of its importance but you will in time."

"I—" You immediately stopped talking upon seeing Cersei walk around the deck, with a handmaiden following behind her, her eyes on the horizon beyond, witnessing what little of the sun left before it was devoured by the ocean.

"Because of her, right? You've grown fond of her," Oberyn said, sighing. "You're even wearing her damn necklace."

As if she knew you were looking, Cersei turned towards the quarterdeck, her eyes meeting yours in a tensed gaze. Your hand grabbed against the wooden railing a bit too hard. Oberyn was far from wrong. It was because of the Lannister woman.

This was all too easy and perfect if you were just you — a bastard from the Martell house. You would serve Cersei, even if your family would despise you. But sometimes, people fall in love with someone they can't have.

You missed the Queen Mother terribly, her striking green eyes piercing right through yours, observing what you two could possibly be talking about for making you frown that bad.

All you wanted to do at that moment was hold her, and tell her that you still wish to marry her if she also felt the same about you.

"I . . . I do," you confessed softly, avoiding Cersei's eyes. "She's . . . She's my weakness."

"It will pass, Y/n."

You then turned to glare at Oberyn. "What's that supposed to mean? When you fell in love with Ellaria, did it pass too?"

"That's different, Y/n. You think Cersei will feel the same about you if she only knew?" Oberyn scoffed. "The Lannisters were one of the houses that ended the line of Targaryens. They even paid mercenaries to assassinate Queen Daenaerys herself and she's in another continent. If Cersei knew you were Daenaerys' sister, bastard or not, she'd kill you herself. Did you forget what they did to Robert's bastards?"

Cersei had now walked towards the stern, staring into the darkness ahead. Her golden hair billowing against the wind was the only brightest thing in that ship.

"All I'm saying is," Oberyn went on. "You ought to be careful. End it while it's still early. Cersei is a woman of ruthless nature. She wouldn't see you through."

Oberyn then placed a hand on your shoulder before he left.

You sighed, right hand curling into a fist on your side, mind fighting between leaving and heading towards the woman down below. Yet, the heart wanted what it wants as you began to climb down the stairs leading to the stern.

"You said you'd always want to have your own ship one day," you started, approaching Cersei, her perfume infiltrating your nostrils. The wind gently blew the Queen's hair against all directions, and it was such a wonderful sight.

Cersei raised a hand towards the handmaiden, making the latter bow before leaving you both alone.

"You remember," she replied, her eyes still on the dark horizon.

"Of course." You smiled, walking closer. "How could I not? Did it meet your expectations then, Your Grace?"

"It's not my first time riding a ship, although a lot has changed. The waves are somewhat smaller than I remember years ago. And the sunset has never been that red before."

You were now standing side by side with the Lioness, your hand on the railing, at least an inch away from where Cersei's hand was.

"It hasn't for a long time. People in Dorne believe that red skies are often associated with warnings or change. That whenever a sky is as red as blood, any decision you put forth on that day should be carefully done, unless you don't regard any bad omen coming your way."

She chuckled softly. "And what do you say to these beliefs?"

Cersei turned her head to look at you, expecting your reply, a glint in her eye.

Your eyes never left hers, travelling from her mouth back to her eyes. "I . . . I just think that it's such a beautiful occurrence to see. And I don't care about the consequences."

Cersei stopped smiling, understanding you weren't talking about any Dornish myths or beliefs anymore. Both of your fingers were barely brushing, distance diminishing each second. It would seem apparent that you two were leaning forward to each other.

Until Ellaria coughed behind you, stopping you both. "Supper is ready."

~~~

Being a Martell, you thought travelling by water would have made you immune against seasickness, but maybe it was the remnants of The Mountain's strength that had weaken you.

The trip to Dorne would take almost a week, and it only took three days before you started feeling nauseated. Going back and forth to the head just to eradicate the upset churning in your stomach had drained your energy. Ellaria had took mercy, bringing you a bucket to use beside you.

Cersei's presence was the only thing that made it bearable. You would join her at the dining cabin at night time, talking for hours that even Oberyn had almost fallen asleep on the table.

On the fifth night, you had excused yourself from dinner and surrendered to the confines of your cabin. Maybe it was the way the ship was swaying against the huge tides from the forecasted storm or the stale food you ate during breakfast. Either way, you had secluded yourself to recover.

The Queen Mother was having none of it though, knocking against your door some time later that night and bringing you a steaming hot bowl of soup.

"It's Venison," Cersei said, as she sat on the side of your bed. "I had our cook made it. Hot liquids can help calm an upset stomach. Tommen would always have them when he's sick."

"Thank you, Your Grace," you replied, straightening yourself as you leaned your back against the headboard of your bed. "You shouldn't have troubled yourself."

But instead of giving you the bowl, she insisted to feed you with a spoonful, leaning closer to you. With cheeks flushed from the act of endearment, you let the woman coddle you.

"You never come to me as someone who gets sick travelling by sea," she teased, a smile on her face.

"Well, I normally don't," you argued, making the Queen laugh.

"Quit being cocky and let yourself be taken care of."

One of the Dornish servants suddenly barged through the door, eyes wide upon seeing you not alone. There was a crate of supplies for your wound on her arms.

"Leave it," Cersei ordered, making the servant drop the crate unto a table nearby.

After you have finished the bowl, Cersei brought her hands to the hem of your tunic, attempting to pull it off you. Heart skipping a beat when you felt her fingers brush against your skin, you immediately stopped her, wrapping your hand around her wrist. "What are you doing?"

The Lannister woman smirked as she stood and walked away instead, taking the crate of supplies from the doorway. "I'm changing the dressing of your wound."

After a few moments of hesitation, you finally let Cersei get rid of your tunic. Her eyes softened upon the sight of her necklace's golden lion pendant on your chest and the bruised skin, now had gone purple close to healing.

She then began delicately cleaning the wound on your chest, her thumb purposefully brushing your nipple, every touch bringing you shivers. You swallowed, cheeks red as you attempted to move away from her.

"Stop moving," Cersei said, giggling.

"Stop teasing me then," you countered back.

After she had managed to change your dressing, you noticed a tent growing under your breeches. Everything seemed to freeze at that moment as you quickly took one of your pillows to hide it when Cersei was looking away.

Yet, there was nothing the Queen could miss as her curious eyes began wondering why there was a pillow on your lap. She sat back on the side of your bed, leaning forward and closer to your body.

Her sultry voice near your face made you harder than you were before, your cock straining painfully from the weight of the pillow. "Do you also need help with something else, My Lady?"

"Your Grace, I don't think—"

"Stop thinking," she whispered into your ear, her hand slipping inside your breeches and stroking your hardening cock. "Just breathe, Y/n. Let yourself go. Take pleasure in my hand."

Letting out an embarrassingly loud groan, you threw your head back against the headboard, eyes rolling deep into the back, hands clutching against the sheets on both sides.

Cersei's eyes darted towards your cock when she managed to pull it out from your breeches, twitching against her touch. It had never looked this painfully hard before, you thought you wouldn't last a second longer.

"You have a pretty cock, you know," she cooed, her lips nipping the skin on your jaw and neck. Her hand moved expertly, squeezing you tight as if milking you, and she did manage, her thumb tracing over the small cum leaking from your head then spreading it on your entire length.

"Cersei. . ."

The sound of your whimpers made Cersei turn to stare at you, observing your every reaction, with your eyes shut close and mouth agape. "You looked so prettier under my control."

"Cersei, I'm close. . ."

"Good," she said.

You opened your eyes to see what she meant, but what you saw only made you lose it. The Queen took the entire length of your cock into her mouth, bobbing her head up and down in a fast pace. The sight itself, the wetness and warmth from her mouth and the moan she let out when she took you made you explode right into her.

And she took it all, swallowing everything there was to milk. You cursed profanities into the silent night, grunting your release, releasing a lot more when she took you deeper.

It seemed like eternity when you had finally come down from your high, watching Cersei clean your shaft before licking the side of her lips from any residue. She then tucked your cock back into your breeches and leaned forward back to you.

"I would have hated wasting a single drop," she finished with a smug smile on her face.

I truly appreciate your continued support in reading my stories. You can help me create more stories by supporting my writing thru this link. Thank you so much ❤🥰

[coca-lastic]

5 Green flags 🟩 VS 5 Red Flags 🟥

I'M BACK 👹

Well well, My last post about Keigo have lots of support from you all, and like I said, I'm willing to do a part 2 about Bakugo Katsuki sooo, here I am.

Tell me if you want a part 3 and which character you would like.

Let's start with his red flags. Let's be clear that Katsuki does have a few, it's true that it's nice to imagine him as an attentive boyfriend who takes the initiative, and I firmly believe that he would be like that, but that shouldn't hide the little things he has that can get on your nerves at the time of a fight.

Now, let's start listing his bad things:

1. He acts like you're a burden: I don't think he would do this on purpose, but he would. Comments like "What the fuck do you want now?", "Stop bothering me", "You're too intense", "Will you shut up?" can come up at the beginning of the relationship. Even to the point that you feel bad about his independent actions, as if you were just another thing on his list. Of course, deep down he doesn't consider you a burden, but he expresses himself as if you were one.

2. He doesn't open up to you: Katsuki has this constant thought that he can't be inferior, that he has to be the best and his feelings can be a difficult thing, and I think that in a relationship he feels a lot more pressure about all this to be strong and show you how tough he is. So I think that for a long time he won't tell you if something is wrong with him even if it's clear that something is wrong with him. This could just be something normal, but I add it as a red flag since a large part of Katsuki's life is clouded by those insecurities, so he doesn't tell you how he feels every time he sees Deku, or how he was in training, or how he felt when he won something, because if he does, his facade will fall apart. This ends up being something that can affect the communication between you two.

3. He doesn't understand you: He tries, he really does, but he just has a hard time understanding when you feel bad. He's so used to minimizing what's happening to him that he doesn't understand why it affects you so much. So you might be crying in his arms, and he might be hugging you, but deep down he doesn't understand, and that's terrible in arguments, because he doesn't understand why you're angry or why you're sad or why you're disappointed, he tries to fix it but he doesn't understand the roots of the problem.

4. He's jealous: Like, not jealous to get insecure when he sees you with a friend, jealous to get furious when he sees you with another man. And that, OBVIOUSLY, brings problems. He trusts you, he doesn't trust them, he knows you're hot and he also knows that the other jerks know it. So don't doubt that he's going to complain to you repeatedly that a certain person shouldn't be so close to you, or that he doesn't get along very well with a certain friend.

5. His anger: In the anime we can already see that he is a little bit... impatient. He tries to control himself with you, he truly loves you and treats you with his best version, but there are times when you simply act in a bad way, I mean, you also have your red flags, and that makes him angry, and you too, then you fight. A lot. For a long time. A lot of yelling. And probably a lot of painful words that he doesn't really feel, but says them, because his fury is faster to speak than to think, analyze and meditate.

Now, like every person, he has his flaws and his virtues. He has things to improve and things that you should love, because they are incredible.

So let's see what those good sides are and let's see which side of his personality ends up winning, let's see the second side of his furious personality.

1. He doesn't talk, he acts: Maybe he doesn't open up to you as much as he should, but he decides to make you feel comfortable by letting you know that he loves you through more practical methods. Are you hungry? He cooks, are you sick? He takes care of you, do you want a snack? He buys it. Because actions are worth more than words, so he decides to act, he decides to give you what you want, and consider yourself lucky because you are the only one who sees his helpful side.

2. He puts you first: If his friends invited him out to eat something, he won't care if you sent him a text telling him to go with you to buy something. If his mother told him she was going to celebrate a birthday with the family, he'll run away because you asked him to bring you some chocolates. Because he knows that if you love someone, you're not going to replace them with the smallest things, so if he has to make a decision that involves you, you'll always be the right answer.

3. He is not ashamed to show you off, he loves to do it: You are also part of his achievements, and being the show-off that he is, he will show you off. God, he has a sexy, smart, strong, kind and hot girlfriend, he has to show you and show them that you two are together, that he is a lucky and happy man.

4. He knows you: I think this is important, but not all men do it, in fact those who do are very few. Because not all of them observe you, remember, learn and please you, but Katsuki does. He is observant and knows how to listen, maybe he doesn't understand perfectly why you feel so much, why you get excited and sad about small things, but he knows that you do it, he knows how you feel, he knows how you reacts, he knows what you like and how he knows you, he knows how to please you, he knows how to make you happy with a gift, he knows how to excite you, he knows how to make you laugh and he knows how to make you feel loved.

5. You're part of his future: If he sees himself as a great hero, he sees you by his side, making and fulfilling your dream. Holding your hand. Kissing you. Hugging you. Caressing you. That's what he sees. Maybe two house, or a single one, whatever you want, maybe 2 children, or maybe none, just a pet, maybe a red car, or maybe a black car, but within all those variables there is one constant: you.

Sorry, this doesn't match your way of seeing Katsuki. Remember that he is still a character that each one sees and imagines in their own way, but I try to do it in a way that everyone feels comfortable.

Now, did the 🟩 flags or the 🟥 flags win?

[just-a-ghost00]

Celeb series : channeled advice from your bias' higher self

Group 1

Cards : 2 of coins, 7 of swords, Strength, 3 of pentacles, Death, 9 of wands

Be mindful of the way you spend your time and energy. Of course, work is important but... are you getting any rest? Are you even eating properly? I don't want you to be sick and tired. I don't want you to be exhausted and forced to step away from what you love because of that. You have to be strategic. I know how much of a hard worker you can be. No one can take that away from you and I am proud of you for the efforts you put in your success, your studies, your job. I hope you are proud of yourself too. But remember that you are not alone. You don't have to handle all this pressure on your own. You can count on me too. You can come and rest on my shoulder. I will lend you a bit of my joy and energy if that gives you comfort, if that brightens your day. I would be happy if I could lighten up your load and make your life a little easier. Remember that you are human and you deserve to have fun, to spend time with the people you love and doing the things that make you happy. You were not born to grind yourself to death. You were born to live and laugh and love. Lmao that sounds so cheesy but that's the truth. Hang in there. I know you can do it. I know you have it in you to be the most beautiful and successful being the world has ever known. I believe in you. When you feel down or stressed, please don't mull it over all alone in your corner. Come to me and let's chat it out. Maybe I can help you. Okay? Love you.

Shufflemancy : Are you having any fun? by Elaine Stritch, Freak like me by Halestorm

Group 2

Cards : 8 of wands, page of pentacles, page of cups, Tower, knight of swords, 7 of swords

Don't hold back. Whatever you wanna say, say it. Whatever you wanna do, do it. Be you. Do you. Feel you. I know it, you know it. This life is too short to have any regrets or mourn it. So just live, shine bright, have fun. Learn as much as you can. Go as far as you can. Don't hold back for any of them hyenas who would be too happy to see you fail. Shake the world. Break the rules. There's no one like you. Speak your mind. Embody your truth. I see you. I feel you. I know what it's like. Don't share any of your tricks with them. They jealous. Let them choke on their venom. You got no time for their BS. Okay? You're a queen/king. You bow down to no one. The dumbest of them all is the one that never learns, never asks, never speaks up. But you know better, honey. I know you're going to nail it. I know you're a good one. I know you're gonna rock the world because you're a rockstar. Just don't stop, don't look back. Don't let anyone stop you. I'll cheer for you wherever you go, wherever you are, whatever you believe in. Don't be afraid of what you feel or what you want. Just embrace who you are. There is nothing to be ashamed of. You are perfect. I hope you see that. I am in awe at how gorgeous and smart you are. I'm your number one fan! Show me how it's done! Show me what you got.

Shufflemancy : Zoom by Jessi, OMG by Usher ft will.i.am

Group 3

Cards : 3 of pentacles, 10 of swords, 9 of pentacles, ace of pentacles, queen of wands, 9 of wands

It's important that you take care of your health. Especially if your mind isn't in the best place right now. I know how hard it can be. But I also know how resilient you are. You are going to get everything you want and more. I have no doubt about that. You are so patient and kind, so hard working. You carry yourself with such grace and humility that it would be impossible for you to fail. I can't imagine a world where you don't shine. It would be impossible not to love you and admire you. I wish I could be of help to you but to be honest I feel like I have nothing to teach you cause you give me so much more than I could ever give you. I know so little about this world, about this life. But I hope that you can find a friend in me. A reliable shoulder to lean on when you feel down. I hope that your days are bright and that I can contribute to that. If I can give you just a little piece of advice, it would be to find a community where you feel safe and like you can be your true self, show your vulnerable sides without fearing rejection or retaliation. Go at your own pace. One step at a time, make your dreams come true. I will help you in any way I can. If it's by sharing your work or giving you words of affirmation, I will. If it needs me listening to you ranting for hours, I will gladly do that. There's only so much that I can do and say, but I hope that it's enough. Know that I am always by your side. You are so beautiful. Never give up. Please don't forget about me when you're successful. Because I am sure that one day you will surpass me and the greatest of them all. And if that happens, I wish I can be part of your world.

Shufflemancy : R U Mine? by Arctic Monkeys, I don't think I'm okay by Bazzi

[thegamingcatmom]

BIRB MAMA LET´S GO 🐦‍⬛

(I can´t get over how adorable/goofy she looks here. How am I supposed to fear any of that?)

If Mother Miranda were to take an interest in you outside the whole vessel thing, it would include:

(Yall know the drill by now: Don´t like my dark and twisted stuff, don´t read my dark and twisted stuff. 🖤)

having to listen to her ranting and gossiping about her "children"

sometimes, it´s straight up just death threats

she´s scary when she gets like that

especially because she tends to breathe down your neck to calm herself (your scent is quite helpful)

having to listen to her feverish prayers when it comes to Eva

Eva is a big topic in general

helping her in her lab

which basically means cleaning up her mess (and she is rather messy, it has to be said)

we´re talking mountains of papers as well as mountains of bodies

ofc she´s gonna make sure to snuff out every last bit of life before she lets you near her failed experiments

she won´t take any risks when it comes to you

as for the papers-

...it´s a mess

and it´s very scary (and very unfair) when she gets all hissy and murderous over you trying to do your "job" and clean up her mess just because, out of the millions of papers, there´s one that she still needs

"How dare you throw that away?!"

"Well, how tf am I supposed to know?!"

...you think to yourself because there´s no way you´re gonna say that to her face (you quite like breathing, tyvm)

Eva

whenever she has one of her downright terrifying smash-things-against-the-wall "tantrums" (as you like to call them not to her face) she gets all purry and touchy-feely after

probs her way of apologizing (cause there ain´t no way she´s gonna use them words)

you hate that it´s working

despite being a mass murderer/mold monster smt who doesn´t require eating or using any stuff that humans usually would (like toilets), she does appreciate you cooking and cleaning for her

things she tasked you with ofc

she quite...enjoys the sight

(smt about that domestic view just...does things to her)

(you force-wearing an apron drives her wild)

Eva

preening

she does have feathers, after all

and those need lots of TLC 💋

makes you clean her mask too

or her rings

anything, really

in return, you may wear it

(honestly? totally worth it)

we won´t talk about the fact she´s doing it more for herself (just like pretty much everything else) because seeing you wearing what is hers just...yknow?

but also to demonstrate just how good it feels to be bad

"Hm... What do you think, little bird? Do you like it? I certainly do..."

Eva

forces you to attend meetings with her so she can show you off

and also because it almost always gives her a reason to rip into her "children" because that bunch just doesn´t know how to behave around you

especially the tall one who keeps throwing you looks that make it seem like she wants nothing more than for you to drop dead

you kinda share that sentiment

anywhere would be better than here

...she´s scary

something Miranda takes note of as well

one look is all that is needed to put the tall one in her place

in moments like this, you truly appreciate your roommate´s/abductor´s murderous side

when you´ve been especially good for a (long) while (no escape attempts, no talking back, no disobeying her whatsoever) she indulges your childish urges to see her transform into different animals

she will deny any and all accusations of smiling at that, down to her very last breath

(she could be persuaded though...)

Eva

one day, you´ll probs have to go from cleaning that mess to making it

which means actively helping MM with her experiments

cutting someone open etc.

there´s no way out of it, let´s be honest

it´s her livelihood, ofc she wants to share that with you

(isn´t she just precious?)

spying on the villagers for her

(she will find out when you´ve been lying, so don´t even think about it)

Eva

(This actually got way less dark and twisted than I anticipated. Gotta work on that, LMAO.)

Basically, my HC for Miranda includes her getting an absolute kick out of anything family/domestic life. She goes absolutely nuts when it comes to her daughter, so I imagine this would count for a significant other as well. She gets obsessed to the point of no return, and she´ll fight tooth and nail to keep them with her always.

I could go on, and on, and on, and on, and-

But, alas, it is rather late and, unlike some mold monster smt, I do need my sleep. ;3

I might do more posts like that cause I have thoughts. 😩🤌

CYA THERE! 🫶

[eightlightstar]

Wander

pairing: Lee Jihoon x AFAB Reader genre: meet-cute, NANA TOUR based, fluff, idol x fan relationship warning(s): reader's feelings are hurt by Woozi's cautionary words (not that deep), descriptions of a kiss(?) word count: 4.1 k (my first fic of this size!) recommended song: _World by Seventeen banner credits: @staranghae

Woozi was not a wanderlust, and it was a well established fact. That's why he was worried sick as him and the guys were waiting for JunHao to get through immigration. How was a homebody to enjoy a vacation with his loved ones when most of the itinerary was outdoorsy?

His impending doom face must've been hard to miss because Dokyeom was scooting closer as he asked him, "Hyung? You look like you've seen a ghost! Is something wrong?" Seeing a worried Dokyeom made him snap out of his negative spiral. "Ah it's nothing much. I was just wondering how I'm going to handle being out & about since I stay indoors all the time. It's fine though, I guess. It's a relief you all are there at least. I hope I'll not be too disoriented…?" Woozi finished in a confused tone.

"Are you telling me or asking me Hyung?" Dokyeom said and laughed. "You never give such a long explanation to something unless it actually bothers you enough; so, I can see that you're wary of what's to come. It may be a vacation for us, but it might be an ordeal to you. That's why me and the guys will do our best to make sure you have a great time with us. Sound good?" He chirps and hugs Woozi tightly. "Thanks, Kyeom. I don't think I can live without you all." Woozi whispers as he hugs him back.

Woozi was surprised to find that he wasn't uncomfortable with anything that was happening! Everything was great and he was thoroughly enjoying himself right from the moment they had stopped at the Colosseum, to the wine festival they were currently at. He doesn't exactly drink; so, before coming here, he had felt that it would be useless for him to go there and ruin the others' mood by his predicament. Joshua must've sensed his discomfort because he was by Woozi's side the next instant. "Hey, Woozi. You look a bit...uncomfortable?" he asked hesitantly. "No, I'm not uncomfortable, hyung. I'm just wondering what would a person like me do at a wine festival" Woozi supplied forlornly.

"Maybe you'll find something a person like you can do here after all", Joshua said while wiggling his eyebrows up and down. "Hah...hyung you're not drunk, are you?" Woozi asked while sighing at the antics of the older member. "No Jihoonie, just trying to cheer you up with a world of possibilities. I suggest you go about on your own. Having 12 others around is not always enjoyable you know", he says with a wry smile. "Yeah, I guess", Woozi shrugs unsurely but does take his hyung's advice.

As Woozi navigates the crowded wine festival alone, he goes from stall to stall trying some wine here and there. He doesn't know exactly when he gets drunk but the moment he realises, he looks for a place to stop and breathe. While looking here and there among a sea of people, he spots a stall that is not at crowded at all except for one young lady. He goes (read: stumbles) there and sighs in relief. He leans down to check out the different wines on the counter of the stall and notices the lady's keychain as he straightens up. It was a CARATBONG keychain and Woozi doesn't even finish thinking that 'CARATs are everywhere' when him and the woman make eye contact. The woman's eyes comically widen before she composes herself quickly. "Hi?" she says unsurely in Korean.

"You're Korean!?" Woozi asks a little too loudly in his tipsy state. "Ah sorry I think I must've drunk too much wine", he immediately apologises sheepishly. "Not just too much, many different wines too, I guess," says the woman and giggles. "Yes, I am Korean. Korean American actually. But yeah", she adds. "This might be stupid to ask but you do know me, right? Also, can I get your name? asks Woozi, surprising himself. "It's L/n Y/n. And I don't know how to reply to the other question, Woozi", she says as she stifles a smile with the back of her hand.

"Ah wonderful. But first and foremost, do not ask why I'm here in Italy. You'll get to know soon. Okay?", Woozi warned the CARAT hurriedly. "Duh. Of course you're filming something. I'm not completely dumb seeing as I've known Seventeen since debut but go off, I guess", she says in mock anger. "Ah I didn't mean that, I'm sorry. Fans tend to ask for photos or signatures and sometimes even pester us. It was precautionary you know just in-" "It's fine Woozi. I know how bad it can get. Wine?" she cuts his rambling as she shows him what she's currently drinking. "Thanks," Woozi mutters and asks the stall owner to pour him some.

"So, since I can't tell you what I'm doing here, tell me about yourself. What're you doing in Italy? Do you live in Korea? And oh, who's your bias in our group?", Woozi yaps away after taking a few sips of the woody wine. "WOW, who are you and what have you done to our Woozi?", Y/n asks in astonishment but humours this New Woozi anyway. "I'm here on a solo vacation as I just got some time off from work. Yes, I live in Korea. Actually, I live in Yongsan, so I often see you guys near the HYBE building, hehe. But coming back to your question, and not because you are the one I'm talking to, my bias has been you since the Melona Green Room days", she finishes in one breath and inhales deeply.

"WOW", is all Woozi manages. "But seriously, how are you talking so much? And that too with a fan you happened to meet by chance?", Y/n enquires curiously. "Well, Joshua was going on about the world of possibilities or something so I'm trying to get out of my comfort zone?", Woozi answers, albeit apprehensively. "That's actually very Josh of him, but also true. As your fan, I'm glad you're exploring new possibilities, she says and beams at him. "Yeah, but the only reason I talked to you was because I saw your CARATBONG keychain", he admits bashfully. "Aww and here I thought you talked to me because you found me pretty or something", she teases and Woozi has never been so out of his depth.

"Uh..." "Oh come on, I'm just teasing. I know you would rather talk to a stranger who's a CARAT than not" she says and giggles. Her giggles do something to Woozi's heart that he can't quite place. "Fans never talk this comfortably with us you know, they are usually very nervous or too excited. You're...astonishingly calm for a person who's talking to her bias". It was now Woozi's turn to tease Y/n. "Uh...". "Oh, come on, I'm just teasing", Woozi says triumphantly. "Wow...that's a low blow, Woozi. But I'm not offended because oh my god I love this new Woozi!?", she says as she gawks at her reformed bias. "Yeah, I hope I won't regret this tomorrow morning", he says in a hopeful tone. "Okay now I'm offended", Y/n says in a small voice.

"Hey, again, I'm sorry but if you've been here since debut, you know how some people take advantage of us interacting with them like-" "-like normal humans yeah, I know", she cuts him off and finishes his sentence yet again and he's pretty sure his heart did a somersault. "But I thought I already proved to you that I was different? I didn't need to and didn't even intend to prove myself different or anything, but it just happened. Anyway, I'm sure it's not easy for you to trust a stranger you just met even if I am a CARAT. I've only been extra nice because I know how fans get. I just thought it'll be a nice break for you, you know..." she says in a hurt voice.

Woozi regrets his words deeply as he looks at the hurt in her eyes. He makes a bold decision to set this misunderstanding straight. "Okay, for the last time, I'm sorry. This is me trusting and making up to the most wonderful fan I've ever met, who just happens to be my fan. Gimme your phone", he says. "Huh?" Y/n asks quizzically but still hands it to him. He flips it to the back to check just in case and sure enough, he finds a photocard of himself nestled behind a clear cover. "Aha! Now I know for sure I'm your bias", he teases while typing a number onto the keypad and saving it as Lee Jihoon. "That's my number. I feel like you're a person I can get to know so call me when you're back in Korea. I'll go back in a few days too. Okay?", he asks with hope in his eyes.

"But do you really want an unknown number calling you? When you already get so many calls from fans?", she asks him dryly. "Ah I hadn't thought of that. Wait, send me a message on Kakao right now", he says with a twinkle in his eyes as if he had just thought of the greatest idea in the world. "And what should I say?", she asks. "Ugh, just open the messenger and give it to me. Quick I need to go back to the group" Woozi says hurriedly as he checks the time. Y/n hands him her phone with his contact open on Kakao messenger. His fingers fly on the keypad of her phone as he sends a message to himself. "There, now I will know it's you" he beams like he had just won an award. Y/n is touched by the fact that he would go to such lengths to placate a fan who was simply treating him like a fellow human being. "Thank you, Woozi. It was wonderful meeting you. See you in Korea" she says as she waves at him. "See you in Korea Y/n" he says and leaves.

-Time Skip- (The story switches to Y/n's POV)

The rest of the vacation went by in a whirlwind for both you and Woozi. Both of you almost completely forgot your encounter with each other until you were trying to type a message to your friend and accidentally open your chat with Woozi.

cheers to youth.mp3

You stare at the message in utter confusion and think to yourself. 'How do I contact him further? Shouldn't he be the one who has to recognise whatever this cryptic message is and reply to me?' You sigh, exit his chat, message your friend like you had originally intended to, and go on about your day. You don't think about Woozi after that.

As for Woozi, he was insanely busy trying to catch up on and finish everything for their latest album Seventeenth Heaven. NANA TOUR had been a much-needed break yet now he had no choice but to work himself to death as comeback was almost upon them. It was after about 3 weeks that Woozi decided to (read: had the time to) reply to the messages he had ignored since he left for NANA TOUR. Surprisingly, there was only 1 message from an unknown number but just as he was about to delete it, he caught sight of the content of the message.

cheers to youth.mp3

Woozi was shell shocked. How had someone texted him the name of the Vocal Unit song file which was from their next album after Seventeenth Heaven!? His mind was reeling, and he was almost about to go nuts when his mind thankfully went to & stopped at the memory of his encounter with you at the Wine Festival in Italy.

"Oh my God that's Y/n!" he said aloud to himself. He immediately called you. You were just walking back home from a convenience store and were actually just opposite the HYBE building when you received a call. You were confused yet thrilled when you saw it was Woozi who was finally calling you! "Hello? Y/n?", Woozi asked nervously. "Yes, this is her, Woozi", you replied as you giggled. "Ah now I know it's you for sure" he said, and you could hear the smile in his voice. "And how do you know that may I ask?" you ask haughtily (comical). "Your giggles. I distinctly remember them. They're music to my ears", Woozi says adoringly before he even realises what he had just said.

"My giggles are music to the God of Music? I am honoured!" you say as you tease him. "Uh...I didn't mean...uh actually it kinda slipped out but..." Woozi hesitates for a while until he finally snaps and actually tells you what he wanted to tell you. "Okay fuck this. Will you go out on a date with me?" "...a date? I..." It was your turn to hesitate now. "Come on y/n, I think I've filled the hesitation quota for today. Not you too", he whines.

"But you're already asking me out on a date when we didn't even talk after our first encounter?", you ask him unsurely. "Uh, yes. I thought this might come up", Woozi says monotonously on the phone. "Obviously!", you say, now slightly annoyed. "Well, what can I say? I saw the CARATBONG and thought it was a lucky coincidence. And then I saw your face and thought I was the one who was lucky. And then as I talked to you, I finally realised that it was fate. I was fated to see you, meet you, and get to know you. So...uh...to me, it was only natural to ask you out as soon as possible", Woozi finishes in one breath.

"WOW...that's...I'm floored Jihoon", you say as your heart does an entire gymnastics routine. "So, it's a yes to the date?", Woozi asks you hopefully. "Yes, and as fate would have it, I'm standing right opposite the HYBE building hehe" you say while making sure to emphasise the word 'fate'. "Really? I'm in the studio. Can you come towards the left of the building? I could see you from the window!" Woozi tells you excitedly. You move to where the Universe Factory window is and sure enough, there was Woozi. Standing at the window looking at you and waving as he says "Hi" through the phone. "So, when is the date you just asked me on?" you ask as you look at him. "Today. I'll text you the details so be ready, okay?" he says and waves at you before hanging up.

Then he quickly opens the shopping app on his phone and starts looking for a dress to give as a present to you. He finds a beautiful ruby coloured dress after scrolling for a while. He thinks about the first time he saw you with a wine glass in your hand and decides it would be the perfect dress. He selects the size and hopes he got it right from whatever he saw of you at the wine festival from almost a month ago. Then, he texts you. "Hey Y/n, can you send me your home address? I'll send someone to pick you up from there and bring you to HYBE's parking lot. Then we can go together from here in a car that has blacked out windows. Sound good?"

You see the text and muse that it was an ingenious plan. Nothing suspicious crosses your mind so you simply send him the address. "See you soon, xoxo", you add. Unbeknownst to you, Jihoon almost faints from giddiness when he sees the 'xoxo'. He quickly types in your address and makes sure to get the fastest delivery option available, which happened to be more expensive than the dress itself, despite the store being in Yongsan! But all he cared about was seeing you wearing his present; so, after wrapping up the gift situation, he quickly got ready in the spare suit that he keeps in Universe Factory for 'just in case' situations.

As soon as he touched up his appearance and was ready to leave, he gets an update from the shopping app that the delivery has been made. As he feels relieved that his present reached you in time, you call him. "Jihoon, did you just send me a dress?", you ask in disbelief. "I mean, that's it what it looks like, doesn't it?", Woozi replies cheekily. "But whyyy, you didn't have to you know. Also, 'ruby'? Really?', you ask you first whine and then deadpan. "Ah, it wasn't because of my song. It was to commemorate our first meeting - at the wine festival", he explains hurriedly. "Fine, how long till your manager gets here? Do I have to get ready quickly?", you ask worriedly. "Oh wait! I'm actually ready right now. I'll come get you myself and we can go directly from your place. You can text me when you're ready okay? Meanwhile, I'll reserve a table for us. Yeah?", he asks sincerely. "Sure Jihoon. Thank you. I was worried about having to meet your manager before meeting you again. So, I'm glad it's you who I'll be seeing directly" you say as you thank him. "Ah no need to thank me, Y/n. Now go get ready. Bye!", Jihoon says, and you end the call with a soft "Bye Jihoon".

The dress was a perfect fit and you were surprised he guessed your size correctly. But this is also why you realise he's genuinely interested in you and smile to yourself in disbelief. It was true you were obsessed with your bias...but to have your bias be obsessed with you was a whole another feeling. You sent Jihoon a quick text saying you were ready. To your shock, his reply read, "Come down then, I'm already waiting in your apartment's parking lot. I'm inside the black Carnival facing towards the exit". You were touched that he came and chose to wait for you without coming up to your place. 'Such a gentleman', you think to yourself and quickly go down to meet your bias (read: soon-to-be-boyfriend).

You get inside the car and both of you simply stare at each other for a whole minute before both of you breathe out in unison, "Beautiful!". Laughter bubbles immediately as you both realise you are deep in this thing with each other. He holds out his hand to you and you take it, and he simply keeps it on his lap while soothingly rubbing circles with his thumb. The car ride is silent apart from the giggles that come from both of you when you catch the other looking at you.

It's a very fancy place (obviously since your date happens to be an idol with 100+ KOMCA credits) and both of you make your way in through the back entrance and inside a private booth. He pulls out your chair and lets you sit before sitting opposite to you. "I'm glad the dress fit you perfectly. I hope you like it?", he asks shyly. "Of course! I love it, Jihoon! You have pretty good taste I must say. Music and clothing alike", you say as you tease him. "Ah stop bringing up the song, Y/n", he says like a hurt puppy. "Okay okay fine", you placate him and giggle.

The rest of the date goes by in you both getting to know each other by yapping away well into the night, occasionally eating a bite of your otherwise untouched food. Suddenly, you feel very hungry so you stop mid-ramble and say, "I'm really hungry Jihoon, shall we continue talking after we eat?", you ask with puppy eyes and who is Jihoon to refuse. "Sure baby", the nickname slips out very naturally and he doesn't even notice it. You blush at that but continue to eat without telling him anything. Once in the car after a nice dinner, you both start to yap yet again. You were so lost in conversation with each other that the driver had to tell you that you had arrived at your apartment's parking lot. "Can I come till your door and say goodnight?", Jihoon asks hopefully. "Sure honey. Let's go!", you say, a little excited. You don't notice the nickname you slipped in, but Jihoon does and smiles shyly to himself.

As you open your door and turn to wish him a goodnight, he moves a bit closer and asks in a whisper, "Can I kiss you goodnight?". Your heart races as you whisper a "Yes" back. The kiss is magical, it's beyond anything you've ever imagined. Jihoon must be feeling the same, going by his grip on your waist. Your lips move effortlessly against his as if you had been kissing each other all your life. You only separate when both of you need to breathe. "That was some goodnight kiss alright" you say in a daze. "Sorry if I was...", Jihoon begins. "Oh, shut up Jihoon. It was perfect. I loved it", you say as you hug him before letting him go. "Next date, my idea. Okay?", you say as you get ready to close the door. "Sure, love", he says before he walks away from your door after waving goodbye to you.

Several dates go by with the both of you taking turns to make the date as amazing as possible for the other. The one you were currently on was some 13th date or something, but it was a very simple one suggested by you because Jihoon had once again been working himself to the bone and you had wanted to do something about it. "Date idea, listen. I come to Universe Factory with some food, we eat, and then...we take a nap on that unnecessarily huge couch. Okay?", you tell Jihoon sternly in the morning, after seeing him stare at Cubase on his computer all night the previous day. "Okay baby, whatever you say", he says as he gets up to go to work. "See you at lunch, love. Bye", he says and hugs you before leaving.

You make an elaborate spread of Jihoon's favourite dishes, box them up and make your way to HYBE. It had been 2 months since the day you had met Jihoon in Italy, and you had been dating him for 1 month now. It was only natural that all the members got to know you and became close to you instantly, much like the way Jihoon had. They took you under their wing and you had felt like you had won in life - dating your bias and being friends with the other members? Yeah, that's the dream and you were living it. With these thoughts, you reach the building. You go in the general elevator from the parking lot and reach the floor Universe Factory is on.

When you get there, you notice several pairs of shoes outside and knock hesitantly. "Come in, Y/n", a group of people chorus. You realise it's the members and breathe in relief as you enter the code and unlock the door. "Hii Y/n!" says Hoshi cheerfully while Seungcheol waves at you and Vernon nods in your direction. "What're y'all doing?", you ask curiously. "Getting some songwriting done for the next album", Vernon says and tiredly. "You all look tired though. How can you express yourselves properly with tiredness clouding your thoughts?", you ask worriedly. "You have no idea," says Seungcheol, a little miserably. "I got food! Do y'all wanna eat with us?", you offer. "No Y/n, you're very kind. We know you and Jihoon have a date now haha. We'll make our way out and leave you to it", Hoshi says and winks.

"Yeah, yeah whatever. I'll see you guys at practice?" says Woozi as he goes to the door to lock it after they leave. "Sure Woozi. Rest well with Y/n and come to practice with a fresher mind, yeah?" the boys fuss over him a little bit before finally leaving. Meanwhile, you open the packaged food and set the small dining table for the both of you. "WOW! These are all my favourite dishes, baby! Thank you!", Jihoon says with delight in his eyes. "Hehe I'm glad you love it, honey. Dig in", you say as you start eating too.

After a hearty meal, both of you got comfortable on the 'suspiciously wide couch' of the studio. As Woozi hummed long and got ready for his forced/much needed nap, you took a trip down memory lane. It was mere months ago that you had met Woozi by chance at a wine festival in Italy. And you both had hit it off instantly. It was probably the wine, but you had loved 'Yapper Woozi'. Being a CARAT, his personality at the time had been a pleasant whiplash to you. "I can hear you think babe. Please sleep if you don't want to make me regret wandering around Italy & finding you. You giggle as you cuddle him close. "It's probably a good thing that you did wander".

tags: @forever-atiny, @minhui896, @staranghae, @welcometomyoasis

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[deans-queen]

I Remember It🧣

Pairing: Jensen x Reader (Y/N)

Summary: Reader has been thinking a lot about her past relationship with Jensen, and she wishes things could have ended differently

Inspired by the Song All Too Well (Taylor’s Version) bold/italic text: song lyrics

Warnings: language, light smut, emotional vulnerability, sexual themes.

Reader’s POV

It’s been months, but I still think about him every single day. Jensen Ackles—my Jensen—was everything I wanted. Until he wasn’t. I never thought we’d fall apart like this, that I’d be left holding pieces of a love so strong it could shatter me. But now here I am, sitting in my quiet apartment, listening to “All Too Well (Taylor’s Version)” and staring at the old scarf I wore the day we met.

“I left my scarf there, and you’ve still got it in your drawer even now…”

The words of Taylor’s song hit me right where it hurts the most. God, it was so stupidly perfect, the way we’d fallen for each other. I can still remember the way his hands felt on my body, his touch slow and deliberate, the way his lips would trace along my neck. The way he’d make me feel like I was the center of his world. He’d whisper things in my ear, dirty words that would set me on fire, make me crave him even more.

“Y/N, baby, you drive me wild…” he’d say, his voice low and husky, right before he’d kiss me, deep and consuming, pulling me into a world where nothing else existed but us.

And I gave everything to him. I wanted to drown in him, in his love, his touch, his passion. But looking back, maybe that was the problem. I gave him too much of myself, and he took it without realizing just how fragile I was. How fragile we both were.

“You call me up again just to break me like a promise, so casually cruel in the name of being honest.”

God, how that line hits me every time. He didn’t mean to break me, but he did. One night, after another fight, he just… walked away. He said we needed space, that we were moving too fast. But what he really meant was that I wasn’t enough to keep him grounded, to keep him here.

My heart still aches when I think about the last time we were together. We had one of those rare moments where everything was perfect again. We were tangled up in the sheets, my body pressed against his, our breaths heavy and shallow. He whispered my name in that deep, raspy voice, his fingers tracing my curves like he was memorizing every inch of me. I kissed him then, slowly, letting him know I wasn’t ready to let go, that I would always want more.

His lips were soft against mine, tasting like the whiskey we’d been drinking. He bit my bottom lip gently, making me moan into his mouth, and then he chuckled. That low, sexy sound that used to make me melt. “You like that, don’t you?” he whispered, his voice dark, teasing, the way he always did when he knew he had me.

I did. God, I loved it. I loved every second of being with him.

But I knew in that moment that it was slipping away. Even as we touched, as we kissed and lost ourselves in the heat of the moment, I could feel it—the distance growing between us. The way he would pull back, emotionally, even as his hands pulled me closer physically.

“And maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much. But maybe this thing was a masterpiece ‘til you tore it all up.” I whisper the words to myself, feeling the tears burn my eyes. Maybe that’s what happened. Maybe I was too much for him, and he wasn’t ready for all I had to give.

I wish I could say it didn’t still hurt, but it does. Every time I close my eyes, I see him, smell him, taste him. I remember the way his breath would catch when I touched him, the way he’d look at me like I was his entire world. And yet, it wasn’t enough. I wasn’t enough.

I wipe my tears and grab the scarf, pulling it to my chest. It still smells like him, faintly, like leather and cologne. I wonder if he ever thinks about me, if he ever regrets walking away. Does he still have my scarf? Does he ever pull it out of the drawer and think about what we could have been?

Time won’t fly, it’s like I’m paralyzed by it, I’d like to be my old self again, but I’m still trying to find it.

The truth is, I don’t know if I’ll ever be the same again. Loving Jensen changed me, broke me in ways I never expected. But I don’t regret it. I’ll never regret loving him, even if it still hurts like hell.

I close my eyes and lean back against the couch, the scarf wrapped tightly around my fingers, remembering the love that was once ours. And even though I wish things had ended differently, I can’t help but smile through the tears, because for a moment, I had him. I had him all too well.

It’s been weeks since I last thought of Jensen. Or at least that’s what I’ve been trying to tell myself. But deep down, I knew I never really let him go. The pain has softened into a dull ache, but it’s still there, lingering just beneath the surface.

I’m curled up on the couch, sipping coffee, wearing his old flannel—yeah, I know, pathetic—when I hear a knock at the door. My heart skips a beat. I’m not expecting anyone, and for a split second, I think maybe it’s Victoria. But when I open the door, I nearly drop my mug.

It’s him. Jensen, standing there, looking exactly the way I remember him. His piercing green eyes lock onto mine, and suddenly, I’m transported back to all those moments we shared. The nights filled with whispered promises, stolen kisses, and passion that felt too big for either of us to handle.

“Y/N,” he breathes my name like a prayer, his voice low and strained. I can see the weight of everything hanging between us, the words unsaid, the pain we caused each other. “I—I know I don’t deserve to be here, but I had to see you.”

I cross my arms over my chest, trying to protect myself from the whirlwind of emotions rushing in. “Why now, Jensen? After everything, why are you here?”

He steps closer, his eyes filled with regret. “I messed up. I know I hurt you, and it’s taken me too damn long to admit that. But I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you—about us.”

My throat tightens, and I struggle to hold back the tears. “You walked away, Jensen. You left me here, broken. And now you just show up and expect what? For me to forget all of that?”

He sighs, running a hand through his hair, that familiar gesture that once made me weak in the knees. “I know I can’t undo the past. I wish I could. But I need you to know, I never stopped loving you. Not for a second.”

His words hit me like a punch to the gut. Part of me wants to slam the door in his face, tell him to leave and never come back. But another part—the part that still loves him, still aches for him—won’t let me.

“I don’t know if I can trust you again,” I whisper, my voice trembling.

He takes another step toward me, close enough that I can smell his familiar scent—leather, whiskey, and something distinctly Jensen. “Let me prove it to you,” he murmurs, his eyes searching mine. “Please, Y/N. Let me show you that I’m not going anywhere this time.”

I can’t help but look away, my heart hammering in my chest. The memories of him are overwhelming—the good, the bad, all of it. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, trying to steady myself. But then I feel his fingers gently touch my chin, lifting my face to meet his gaze.

“I never should have left you,” he says, his voice rough with emotion. “You were everything to me, and I was too scared to admit it. I was an idiot, and I didn’t deserve you then. But I swear, I’ll spend the rest of my life proving I do now, if you’ll give me the chance.”

His lips hover close to mine, and despite every defense I’ve built, I can feel myself leaning into him. “Jensen…” I whisper, my voice breaking.

He closes the distance between us, his mouth crashing onto mine in a kiss that’s both desperate and familiar. The world fades away, and all I can feel is him—his hands in my hair, his body pressing against mine, the heat between us igniting instantly. It’s like no time has passed, like we’ve been waiting for this moment all along.

“God, I missed you,” he breathes against my lips, his voice thick with desire. His hands slide down my back, gripping me possessively as he deepens the kiss, his tongue teasing mine. I moan softly, giving in to the fire that’s been burning in me for him all this time.

He pulls back just enough to look into my eyes, his breath coming in heavy, ragged bursts. “I want you, Tianna. I always have. I never stopped wanting you. But it’s not just that. I need you. I need us.”

His words make me tremble, and I know I’m already too far gone to push him away. I’ve wanted this—wanted him—for so long. But I can’t let him break me again. I need to be sure.

“You hurt me, Jensen,” I whisper, my voice shaking as the tears I’ve been holding back finally spill over. “You left me, and I don’t know if I can go through that again.”

He cups my face in his hands, wiping away the tears with his thumbs. “I know, baby. I know. And I swear to you, I will never hurt you like that again. I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you if you let me.”

The vulnerability in his voice, the raw emotion in his eyes—it’s too much. My defenses crumble, and before I can stop myself, I’m kissing him again, hard and desperate, like I’ve been starving for him all this time. He responds with equal intensity, his hands roaming my body, pulling me against him like he’s afraid I’ll disappear.

We stumble backward into my apartment, lips never breaking contact, and I’m lost in him again. Lost in the heat, the passion, the love that never really faded.

As we collapse onto the couch, his body pressing me into the cushions, I know this time it’s different. This time, he’s here to stay. And maybe—just maybe—we can pick up the pieces of what we lost.

“And I remember it all too well…”, and so does he.

Authors Note:

Hope you enjoyed this story! It’s been in my drafts FOREVER, and I’m so glad I finally got the chance to post it. And also if this song doesn’t make you cry then are you even human ??? 😭Feel free to let me know what you think! I always love reading feedback!

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[katsona-the-katsequel]

Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad Activity Report

Part 3

5/16 (Sat) - Reporter: Yukari Takeba

Uh, this is Takeba.

Actually, Tartarus is closed today, and Kirijo-senpai told me, "School take priority over SEES activities!", but it's tough to stay holed up in my room all day, so I snuck out. That being said, I don't really have anything to report.

Oh, I'm lying, there was one thing. Well, Sanada-senpai is a little scary. Haha. Apparently the doctor told him yesterday that he'll be okay to start boxing in about a week, and he's really happy about that.

Of course, since it's before the exams, he seems to be studying properly in his room, but when I went out to the stairwell, I saw him running up the stairs at a great pace. I was surprised and talked to him, and he said that he had been taking a break and couldn't stay still. Do you even know what a break means? But I'm glad he's doing well. Yes.

Well, I don't want to relax too much, so I'll get back to studying. This is Takeba.

5/17 (Sun) - Reporter: Junpei Iori

Well... Good evening, I'm Junpei Iori. I don't really have anything to report, but Kirijo-senpai told me to hold the microphone. I guess she told me to calm down and complain or whatever because my cries from the heart are getting in the way of the wonderful training... but somehow, haven't I lost sight of my original purpose for this activity report?

…Oh, that's right, there's something to report.

No, I don't want to sit at my desk any more this afternoon.

I don't want that to happen! I'm stuck with that feeling.

Wait, I went to Paulownian Mall to change my mood.

Then, I felt some strange tension.

A self-proclaimed "reporter" told me about some strange things happening recently.

She asked me if I had information.

When she said something like "I'll be rewarded if you give me any information," I was tempted for a moment, but then I thought, aren't we just heroes of justice who work in secret? Of course, I said "I don't know," and rejected her. Then the reporter just said, "Oh, okay," and walked away... It's a bit complicated...

5/18 (Mon) - Reporter: Akihiko Sanada

Well, the exam finally starts today. There's no point in rushing now. I'll just do my best.

However... I know this may be unnecessary, and it may not be the right topic to talk about at a time like this, but I am really concerned about the injury that happened to our physical education teacher, Mr. Aoyama. From what I heard, he had been drinking after work and was on his way home in a good mood when, an accident was caused by a falling sign, but the accident happened just as the day changed... around the Dark Hour.

Well, shadows wouldn't have to resort to such a roundabout means to drop a sign and injure someone. It's probably just paranoia born from the frustration of not being able to return. Forget it.

5/25 (Mon) - Reporter: Mitsuru Kirijo

It's Kirijo. The results of the midterm exams were announced today. Akihiko was amazing! Excellent!

He had a hard time returning to the fight, and he seemed to be quite anxious before the exams, so I was worried he might lose his concentration, but he did a great job.

I told him that, but he turned his back on me, saying that he had to do it because it would set an example for his juniors. He's really not honest...

I'm a bit worried about the others. The leader seems to have been doing his best, but Takeba seems to have been staying in her room every day.

It seems she ended up with average results, and Junpei was... unbelievable.

As expected, they must be tired from going to Tartarus and defeating large shadows one after another. Although they look energetic, we need their help, but we can't let our activities affect their studies... We should be a little careful.

5/26 (Tue) - Reporter: Akihiko Sanada

Seriously... if you're going to make that much of a fuss then you should have just studied properly from the beginning.

Ah, sorry. Just when I came out of my room, I heard some voices coming from Junpei's room saying things like "Pathetic" and "What am I doing?", just pathetic and wondering what he was doing. Well, I guess it's understandable with those terrible test results.

Mitsuru was also quite upset about the grades of her juniors, but this was something that couldn't be helped unless everyone put in an effort. After hearing that shout, Junpei would probably think things through properly next time. Probably.

Plus, we happen to be living in the same dorm.

If push comes to shove, no matter how much he doesn't want to do it, I'll just force my way into his room and make him do some pre-exam practice.

Intensive training...that's a good word. I'm looking forward to the final exams.

By the way, we are still investigating Yamagishi. Let's hope she will become a valuable addition to our team.

5/27 (Wed) - Reporter: Junpei Iori

O-ki-na-wa!

…Oh, no, they were talking about Okinawa's beach opening on the evening news, so I just did it.

I was talking about that, so I just did it.

So, it's Junpei! The sea is really nice. My exams are over, and I want to have some fun, but I don't have any money or time... Ugh, I'm not going to be able to go to the sea for the rest of my life.

I feel like I say this every summer...ugh.

But the sea is nice. Blue sky! Black bikini! White sand! Red bikini! I want to go and play. Oh, by the way, what happened to the new girl? Does she like the sea?

5/28 (Thu) - Reporter: Mitsuru Kirijo

It's Kirijo. As always, Iori's report seems... stupid.

Well, from the beginning, I started these reports as just a memo for myself, and I don't have any strict reporting obligations. I'm just going to blurt out what I want to say, and if that makes me feel better, then that's fine.

It's good to use even if you're in the middle of nowhere.

Oh, speaking of Iori, I overheard him talking to Takeba in the lounge today, and it seemed like he was worried about his poor grades. It's easy to tell them to study, but I'll think about what I can do to help them more.

However... I noticed while Iori spoke that Magician's Arcana should have high magical power, so why does Iori's Hermes have such low magical power... Maybe next time, I'll get permission from him and study the correlation between abilities and Persona parameters? It's hard to find samples like that...

5/29 (Fri) - Reporter: Yukari Takeba

Uh, this is Takeba.

The exams are finally over, and there's some good news that we might even be hiring a new female member, so I should be in a good mood, but I'm in a bit of a bad mood today.

I overheard an unpleasant conversation in the school corridor...it was bullying.

I don't know who they were, but the two girls who seemed to be the bullies were talking about how they'd found out someone's weakness and how funny her crying face was, and stuff like that... and they were laughing out loud. Well, it wasn't an unusual story, so I just thought, "They must be bored," but... I ended up feeling annoyed afterwards.

Right now I have the power to call a Persona, right? Regardless of the type of power, the power is there to accomplish something, right? But even seeing that bullying scene and not being able to do anything...it's pathetic.

Sorry for complaining again. This was Takeba!

5/30 (Sat) - Reporter: Yukari Takeba

Well, it's Takeba for the second day in a row.

I was wondering what to do, but Kirijo-senpai asked me to keep a record of the matter, so I will continue on.

I don't know if it's related to the bullying issue I reported yesterday, but I found one of the girls I'd heard talking yesterday infront of the school gates this morning.

Yesterday, she was saying things like she was hearing voices and things that sounded like radio waves, so I thought something was a little strange...

However, I don't know the details. I hope it was a coincidence. This was Takeba.

6/8 (Mon) - Reporter: Junpei Iori

I'm seriously dead today... Oh, crap, report, report. Huh...? No, you see, when you get lost in the Dark Hour, your memories are somehow erased, that's common knowledge for Persona Users, right?

Well, it's a bit late now though.

Ugh, sorry. I'm so tired and just want to go to sleep.

Umm, can I just post them all together?

A girl named Fuuka Yamagishi was locked in the gym because of bullying, and ended up wandering into Tartarus. The reason she was safe after being lost for a week was because, while time here stops during the Dark Hour, time there also stops outside of the Dark Hour... or so I think.

When examining the clock on the bike/backup equipment that Kirijo-senpai brought to Tartarus, it seems that you can tell the difference in the movement of time inside and outside... or so it seems. Hmm, it's complicated and I don't really get it.

So, we sneaked into the school in the middle of the night, took the same route as Yamagishi and entered Tartarus, and a large Shadow appeared, but we defeated it with our efforts, um... was there anything else? Ah, that's right. Yamagishi's Persona was amazing. It seemed to have a radar-like function, and can see all the enemy's weaknesses!

Oh, by the way, Kirijo-senpai has an unexpected lack of humor. If I said she was cute, I'd probably get punched. Well, I thought she was hard to get along with, so I've changed my opinion of her a little. Oh, I forgot something important! The large Shadows appear on the full moon! A customer who comes once a month! This is important information!

6/9 (Tue) - Reporter: Yukari Takeba

Well, it's Takeba. Today, Kirijo-senpai and Sanada-senpai are away visiting Yamagishi-san and their friend Moriyama-san. So, Tartarus is on a break. I'm still tired from fighting a large Shadow, so I'm not in the mood for Tartarus anyway. Oh, did I mention I was watching over Yamagishi-san? But it's not like I'm being selfish or anything.

On the contrary, she was extremely effective in the battle against the large Shadow, and it feels like she might be the strongest. Now she's collapsed from exhaustion because she used all her powers at once, so she's been hospitalized just to be safe.

If I had that kind of power, I guess I would join in... but this time she learned that SEES' missions are life-threatening. It would be great if she would join, but I don't want to force her. Ah, but the leader was quite welcoming and pulled her in...

Ugh, I'm thinking about a lot of things. Anyway, I'm really glad that Yamagishi-san is safe and that we were able to defeat the Shadow. This was Takeba.

6/10 (Wed) - Reporter: Mitsuru Kirijo

It's Kirijo. Seriously, if I had taken my eyes off Iori for just a second, he'd have been a complete flop... What a poke. I admit that I do lack common sense in some areas, but... Oh well.

Well, today after I returned from visiting Yamagishi and Moriyama, I did some light sword training.

With Yamagishi joining the team, I will likely be on the front lines as well, so this is training for that.

The fencing club was on a break due to the midterm exams, and I didn't go to club activities as often as I thought because of my Student Council activities. It seems my skills have deteriorated more than I thought. I'm trying to be a little better so as not to be a burden to the hard-working second-year students.

I need to train hard.

Not only the leader and Yamagishi have shown remarkable abilities, but Iori and Takeba also have something special, even though they are still developing. As one of the original members of SEES... I can't lose. Maybe I should follow Akihiko's example and try that "special training" thing once in a while?

6/11 (Thu) - Reporter: Yukari Takeba

Ah, it's Takeba.

Good news... Yamagishi-san has been accepted into SEES. Kirijo-senpai's invitation seemed a bit pushy, and I was a bit worried she wouldn't accept, but she seemed keen...

For now, Junpei is simply happy. He's a really enviable guy. This was Takeba.

6/12 (Fri) - Reporter: Junpei Iori

Hi, Junpei here! Today is truly a joyous and memorable day! Ahem... congratulations to our newest member, Miss Fuuka Yamagishi, on moving into the Iwatodai dormitory! Hip, hip, hooray! Yay! Cheers to our new friend, Fuuka!

Gulp gulp gulp... Phew! Oh, it's not alcohol. It's just Yotsuya sake.

Well, today Fuuka moved into the dorm, and I'm always excited to meet new people. Hehehe, it's good to have more members.

Yukari-chan seems a bit indecisive, but since they're both women, they'll quickly become friends. I heard that she was scheduled to move into the dormitory tomorrow, but it seems like she couldn't wait. Yeah, that's not bad!

Ah, speaking of Fuuka... It seems like her homeroom teacher, Ekoda, has been punished for this incident, but I guess this was the work of the seniors... Well, even us students were getting annoyed with his nasty remarks, so it was like, "Serves him right!" When I asked Senpai the truth, she grinned and said, "Do you want to know, Iori?" No, that smile was probably many times scarier than when Senpai was angry. Ugh, so scary! I have to make sure I don't say anything unnecessary.

6/24 (Wed) - Reporter: Junpei Iori

Hi, it's Junpei.

Hehe... Ukukuku... well, Kirijo-senpai's report yesterday was about how worried she was about us and it made me really happy, but... there was one thing that really hit the spot.

Umm, the part at the top that says "Takeba, Yamagishi, and Iori should talk to each other"...oh, the leader has been forgotten.

Hey! Ahahahaha!

Oh man, sorry sorry, that was a bit too funny. Well, as Sanada-san said today, I get the impression that he doesn't worry too much and just gets on with things calmly, right? Sanada-san said he doesn't envy him, but honestly, I do.

No, you see, I'm at an age where I have a lot of worries, right? Bad grades at school, worries about not being able to get a girlfriend, I'm on the verge of going bald from all the worries... but I should point out that I'm not actually bald, I just have street fashion.

...

Now, back to serious matters... I appreciate your concern, Kirijo-senpai. Thank you. But at least I am okay. That doesn't mean I don't have any worries... I have to figure them out and solve them myself.

More importantly, are you okay, Sanada-senpai?

Today you seemed worried in front of the boxing club room. You've been working hard ever since you came back, so maybe you're tired?

I may not be able to be of much help to you, but if there's anything I can help you with, please let me know.

6/26 (Fri) - Reporter: Fuuka Yamagishi

Good evening, this is Yamagishi.

I feel like I've gotten used to these activity reports. But when I listen to the records from the past, I think they feel more like a communication notebook than an activity report. Hehe.

But I think it's good. This way, we can communicate our feelings and understand each other.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if that were the case?

Until recently, I was always thinking about how my words were not being understood by the people around me. But it's not like that here. Everyone, is considerate of each other. Even today, the Chairman of the board of directors came all the way out of his way to come... Well, there is a limit to what you can say, though. Phew...

<-PREVIOUS ● NEXT ->

[solar-sunnyside-up]

Hey, I’m sorry to dump this on ya but your blog gives me a lotta hope and I just wondered if you had anything to say to my current ails- I am but a very anxious teen and I am so scared. I see so many people talking of how the world “Will end in 2040” or how “damn the past was so much better because it was simpler” and I am lowkey starting to believe that. I’ve got a problem with romanticizing a past I wasn’t even a part of and I really don’t want to live in some awful dystopian future and I fear I’ve missed out on so much because of when I was born :( and how come no one can afford basic shit anymore? I don’t wanna have no money at all! I really would like to be happy in the future but with all the bullshit caused by social media and the lack of money it seems bleak. I’m sorry that this is such a negative ask but I am not doing so hot and was hoping you’d have an insight ? Don’t respond if you don’t wanna

Hey ya there sprout 🌱 it can be really tough out there!

Your feelings are valid, so valid in fact that those exact feelings are why Solarpunk as it currently exists is around! We've all been there!

Between the wages of the top 10% of ppl vs everyone else being greater then during the French revolution, the average citizen globally being worse off then when the great depression was happening, climate crisis after crisis, all while consuming endless bits of info both horrifying (ex Politics) and hopeful (ex Social Media activism) it's waaaay too much for anyone to bare alone! Much less constantly! That burden shouldn't be on any of us!! But since it is, I'm here to help at least lighten the load even if temporary.

The best thing to do when we feel like this is to stop. Find 5 minutes to be still. We are fight/flight/fawn creatures and we will only loop in our solutions without actual clear choices if we don't Chill Out. We're mammals our natural state is Chilling Out and Play.

Next, think about how cool the planet is and particularly how cool humans are?

How there's finger flutes on ceilings thousands of years old, smaller then average indicating that parents held their children up to draw on the ceilings.

Think about the invention of looms and spinning fibers! What other creature could do that? Think about the kids that could build Snowmans without aching fingers because of lovingly knit mittens.

We sing like whales do, like birds do, like wolves do, and we do it to share stories and ideas over food! It is the first things babies mimic! We have songs so old we no longer know their origin just that they came from love! We even have songs to herd cattle meaning music transcends just us but bleeds into our relationships with the planet!

That we have play behavior! Just like wolves and foxes and whales and octopus it is so built into our DNA to play its generally how we learn things! This ranges from agriculture (children tossing seeds around, blowing on dandelions!) To chores (parachute games > folding laundry, playing pretend > usually chores/job based) to hunting (tag! Hide and seek!)

Think about our interconnectiveness with the planet too, how we are guided by Honey guides to find abandoned hives to share in the spoils of bread and honey. How Sweetgrass needs us to flourish, how berries and nuts need us to spread across the land, how we fix other animals broken bones and beaks and help them return home when otherwise they wouldn't ever get home.

Now that you can remember we deserve to be here, that you deserve to be here. We can look at the current situation and bare it.

And we do that by doing small things. Jam out and listen to music while picking up litter on your block, go to a library and just hang out or research something you love, make seed Bombs and toss them I to abandoned lots, make silly cartoons. Whatever it is, it will be enough.

The weight of the world isn't ment for the individual no matter how much Capitalism and Elites will try and guilt you over their failures. That weight is ment for collective groups, but your job as a Person is to be happy where you can and to be kind so others can be happy. The last thing that I always keep in my heart is a quote from my fave author Ursula Le Guin:

Hang in there, a brighter tomorrow is gunna happen. I promise 🌻

[lunarharp]

What led to this (orufrey comic, cw an uncomfortable/creepy scene)

[deoidesign]

Hi, how did you learn to draw Steve's physique?

Ohh what a complicated thing to answer...

When it comes to how I learned to draw anything, it's hard to say anything too specific since it's always a culmination of many years of assorted study and practice... but I can try to do my best to explain some of the biggest things that helped me learn, some tips I keep in mind, and maybe at least some places to start/delve further.

(just a little disclaimer it's not like my drawings here are going to be 100% medically accurate.. they're just to illustrate concepts!)

The main thing about learning various physiques is understanding anatomy. Which feels obvious, but I don't mean proportions; these are important, but perhaps more important is understanding the skeleton and how it moves and learning where muscles connect to bones and where fat grows on the body. When you understand how these function on a more mechanical level, depicting form and movement in a way that feels natural comes in tow.

For instance, understanding things like the pronation and supination of the radius and ulna, as well as the fact that muscles can ONLY contract or relax, will help you understand a bit better which muscles will be flexed and which will not while someone moves. It's inherent to the positioning based on the structural makeup of the body... It's not like you NEED to memorize all the muscles and bones, of course, but understanding and gaining at least a passive familiarity with the concepts really helps.

In tandem with this concept is the way parts of the body flow into eachother. Muscles ALWAYS come in groups because they can only contract. Whatever muscle is there to lift something, there is a muscle on the other side to pull that bone back down. What this results in is a series of straight edges next to curves, which gives us a lot of really lovely "s curves" and dents and folds and so on and so forth just naturally occurring.

I would suggest at least learning the "bony landmarks", which are bones (usually) visible on the surface of the body. things like the iliac crest, the great trochanter, the 7th vertabrae, the acromion process... These can be used to help you understand the parts of the body as angles and relationships, rather than trying to remember lengths and sizes, which vary immensely... (since you asked about steve, he can be our model... also study these on your own don't just take my word for it haha, these are the ones I personally keep in mind)

I've done the same thing with body hair... learning where it grows and in which directions... It helps me make up variations without needing reference, because I have a set of rules I can follow.

The biggest thing that helped me understand all this on a much deeper level was my ecorche course. I sculpted this guy. We started by sculpting the entire skeleton to understand the bones, and then we added muscles on top. Not every single muscle, of course, but the "artistic muscles" AKA the ones which directly affect the surface of the body. Doing this let us see where muscles connect, because we would make a shape, put it on the bone where it actually goes, and then you get to see how other muscles overlap that.

This helped me, perhaps, more than anything else. But I also didn't just start with this course, I had been drawing for years before I even took it. I had been in school for years before I took it. Not that I think it wouldn't be helpful to someone just starting out, but I do think that the more you know going in, the better an in-depth course like this will help you and stick with you. Classes are also expensive, though so I'm not really like... recommending you pay potentially thousands of dollars to take one... But it did help me a lot, personally.

I also, of course, have done many figure, gesture, and master studies...

These just help you quickly gain a stronger understanding of generalized anatomy, and gives you real life examples of and practice with of how people move and balance.

What all this does when combined, is gives me a very solid ability to depict movement and form in a way that feels relatively natural from my subconscious without the need for reference.

The rest of how I've learned to draw his physique is honestly mostly just stylization. I understand the body, and this is how I am depicting it for his level of musculature.

And as I move into depicting him in other ways, either moving in comics or in animation, realistically rendered, or extra stylized, these concepts inform every step of that process for me! When he keeps the same/similar relationships between parts, he gets to still look like himself.

It ALSO really helps when putting clothes on, because the way cloth falls and bunches and lifts is all directly related to the form it is on... So the more you understand that form, the more you can depict clothing and movement in a way that feels natural.

This is all, of course, true when I draw anyone, you asked about Steve so I'm trying to mostly show with him! But because I'm just drawing from raw information of general anatomy rather than trying to study one body type at a time, it allows a lot more "give," I think!

Like, here's most of the cast from TTA so far... actually, they're not as varied as I thought they were nevermind LMAO ignore this part

But, it also makes monster and alien design much easier! It's a lot easier to come up with non-human anatomy when I understand human anatomy, because I can manipulate the knowledge I have...

There is infinite more to study in the world of anatomy... The complexity of the human body goes extremely deep. For our purposes as artists, we need only depict a fraction of it, but more information rarely hurts the process.

I'm sure there's something in here that's wrong on a technical level, I'm mostly going off of memory. But that's kind of my point - I understand enough generally and conceptually that when I am missing something and need to find reference for it, I understand what I'm looking at. It's much easier than trying to learn AND draw at the same time.

I hope even one thing in here helped you! Sorry it's so long.