#Phil’s mum you are so strong

[tommystummy]

If I was a nurse and my son called me to tell me his husband burned himself in a hotel shower I would also make my son-in-law take a 39 minute cold shower.

[danandphilcatboys]

not to be that person but dan and phil in this video give off MARRIED energy (not that they didn't before it's just the vibes are EXTRA strong here) cause like what do you mean they facetime each other ? what do you mean dan sends countless selfies to phil when he's away ?? what do you mean dan fell asleep with phil's glasses on and HOW and WHY ??? what do you mean dan burned himself from the shower in the hotel and phil CALLED HIS MUM ???? what do you mean dan went to the same place in sweden that phil has been to a million years ago and EVEN ordered THE SAME THING ?????

(literally lord if you're reading this i am so tired can i just have a piece of what they have pretty please i am so lonely)

[okie-dokie-wo]

Excerpts from Phil Dunster on Andy Cohen Live, June 15, 2023

Andy Cohen: “You’re talking about Brett Goldstein, and you know, I gotta tell you something. It seems like your love interest this season - I mean, I don’t want to push this too hard - but I mean, you guys have a great bromance - Jamie and Roy Kent have like a very sweet bromance this season.”

Phil Dunster: “Well, I mean, you’re pushing it pretty hard, and I don’t mind it. But there’s a pretty strong…I mean, it’s just romance - just straight up romance. But I think that, you know, I think that any, like, intimate relationship that Jamie has, seems to be pretty intense. That he has with Keeley. That he has with his mum. That he has with - I was going to say with Brett, that I have with Brett. And that Jamie has with Roy. But. Yeah. I think that he really doesn’t know how to do, like, chill relationships, friendships. With Sam Obisanya, he’s, like, giving political statements, with [Roy], he’s either kicking and punching him or he’s hugging him, crying with him. So it’s pretty intense.”  

—From Andy Cohen Live, June 15, 2023

(now with audio)

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Monthly Follower Recs

Monthly follower recommendations for the months of May & June 2024

Another Day, Another Disaster (ao3) - what_the_gosh_dang

Summary: Dan is in possession of Phil's private journal

Carpets, Pokemon and hugs (These are a few of my favorite things) (ao3) -DownDownFangirl

Summary: "Is everything ok?" The tall guy stops. The elevator starts to close. The guy reaches for the door and it opens again. He looks into Phil's eyes and it’s strong and focused and confusing. - Phil works at a motel and Dan is a guest who comes and goes. There are many thoughts to think and many delicate conversations to have... And it can get confusing, especially when you live hundreds of kilometers away from each other.

dan is not a pianist (ao3) - Marranje

Summary: One night, Phil stumbles over a musician's YouTube channel. Years later, they're sharing the most important moments of their lives.

(in which dan pursued the piano, they did not meet in 2009, but still finds each other through the power of the internet)

everything has changed (ao3) - gamingbeats

Summary: Dan and Phil go on holiday to NYC and everything changes when Dan books only the couple's options.

Flashes of Innocence (ao3) - yiffandquiff

Summary: Phil Lester was an aspiring photographer, trying to fine tune his skills in a black and white photography class. Cue Daniel Howell, the attractive male that walks in one day and captures Phil’s eyes. But Dan has a small secret, he needs help. He runs a Tumblr blog and he needs someone to shoot his photos for him. But there’s a catch that Phil doesn’t know right away. Dan runs a NSFW porn blog and he’s asking Phil to help him recreate authentic photos.

hard times, baby (ao3) - queerofcups

Summary: For some people, their jumps came with a task. Figure it out, finish it and your past self would just fade away. That's not Dan. He's not sure why his past self is here. But he's got some theories.

I Got One Less Prom Without You (ao3) - ticklishpickle

Summary: Dan Howell, boyfriend of Phil Lester, has always cared too much about what other people thought of him. And so it's no surprise that despite his complete infatuation with Phil, it takes him months to finally muster up the courage to come out to his friends. But hey! They're surprisingly okay with it- except for the part where they want him to bring a girl to prom instead of his own boyfriend. (Because popularity and stuff, or something)

And so he becomes Dan Howell, ex-boyfriend of Phil Lester. Watch him as he tries to get rid of the 'ex' part of that title.

I Swallowed the Sun (ao3) - transdimensional_void

Summary: Phil's past still haunts him, and the memory of what might have been. (Inspired by the song "Daniel" by Bat for Lashes)

It’s been twelve years since Dan last saw Phil, twelve years during which Dan has been to hell and back. It’s been twelve years since the boy Phil fell in love with vanished. But now Dan’s back, and he has a story to tell... (Songfic for "From Eden" by Hozier)

After twelve years apart, Dan and Phil are giving their relationship another go, but things are off to a rocky start. (Songfic based on "Good Love" by Bat for Lashes)

run as far as your dark brown eyes can see (ao3) - chickenfree

Summary: Dan’s laughing, pleased with his own joke about being an awkward child, about misfit war wounds, which Phil will obviously relate to.

Oh.

(Or: the many times Phil has been surprised, and the one thing that didn't surprise him at all.)

snowballs (ao3) - calvinahobbes

Summary: your mum is trying to get me drunk

The Golden Rule (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Phil is just looking for some friends when he changes school, what he gets is Dan Howell and that's not a good thing.

There's no way you can change the rolling tide (ao3) - rollingtide

Summary: ”Phil threw his head back laughing. And Dan felt a huge urge to kiss him, which made him feel a little bit taken back. In his 23 years on earth he had met many gorgeous men whom he had felt attracted to. But never had he felt like he needed to kiss anyone before. And he couldn’t pinpoint what the difference with Phil was.”

or

A famous/non-famous AU where Dan is hopeless and Phil can’t make coffee for shit.

To Bite The Hand That Feeds (ao3) - rainbowchristy

Summary: Daniel Howell is a lycan, his and his family's secret safe from the public. It isn't until Phil moves into town with lycan parents that things become a problem.

Dan has to learn how to control his wolfy nature while also making and maintaining friendships. Can he do it, or will his secret be revealed to the world?

To be loved (ao3) - Thedemonqueen

Summary: Dan knows Phil insisted they’re together. Dan knows Phil loves him. But it doesn’t stop Dan from feeling dirty when he wants to touch Phil.

Typical (ao3) - Junebug1312

Summary: Dan and Phil hate each other. Everyone knows that. But what happens when Dan breaks both of his wrists and can't do certain things himself?

Also when has someone saying "prove it" ever actually worked as an invitation.

Vampire Moon (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Phil knew it was foolish to stay out late on the night of a full moon. It was even more foolish to agree to take a walk with Dan who was never up do any good. But Phil couldn't admit to himself that he had a blind spot concerning the vampire, and now he was going to pay for that.

*Phil said: “Oh! Is this a self-insert fic? I was called hamster boy at school. I wanted to be Oz. Bite me, granddaddy.” And I said: Bet.*

[daggerzine]

Michael Head & The Red Elastic Band- Loophole (Dinked)

The twelve new songs that fill Loophole, were apparently triggered by the writing of his book (more on that later). It’s Michael Head’s first album since the amazing Dear Scott. We can’t forget The Red Elastic Band, which includes Phil Murphy (drums), Tom Powell (bass), Nathaniel Cummings (guitars/backing vocals) and Martin Smith (trumpet). Yes, it’s the same band as Dear Scott, as well as produced by Bill Ryder-Jones at YAWN Studios. The album begins with “Shirl’s Ghost.” It’s actually a lengthened swirling guitared version with horns and lyrics this time around. (It appeared on Dear Scott as a short instrumental.) According to Mick, “Shirl was a neighbour living in the flat above me. Amongst these piles of her stuff was her mum’s ashes. Before getting evicted, she asked me to find them. I did and shortly after that weird things started happening around the flat.” Wait for the incredible guitar-shredding solo, also. Watch the video here:

 Next is “Ambrosia,” a slow waltz about his memories of touring with Shack, his former band and a favorite of ours. Sadly, one member of Shack, Iain Templeton, died halfway through writing this song. It’s a somber tribute to the olden days filled with strings galore. Here’s the video:

 Track 3, “Ciao Ciao Bambino” (which was actually released in December as a single), finds its album home on Loophole. It’s a song about missing his mom singing the Connie Francis song of the same name to him as a child at bedtime. It begins with a pulsing bass line that turns into a bouncy, horn-filled number that would hardly put a child to sleep these days. See if you agree here:

 “Tout Suite” is a sad, but beautiful acoustic number, almost with a country and western, carousel vibe. Heartfelt lyrics truly add to this one. “Right now, now is the time, to make up your mind, if you, if you belong with me.” Next up, “The Human Race,” takes off as one of the most rockin’ songs on the album. It’s a big band boogie with a strong rhythm section, a banging piano, and a killer guitar solo. Track 6, “You Smiled At Me,” is a breezy, jazzy number that could’ve been pulled from Burt Bacharach’s 60s songbook. Excellent flute work and guitar solos are the focus on this one.

(photo: Jamie Webster/Warren Millar Photography) “A Ricochet Moment” takes off with strumming acoustic guitars, pounding drums, and soaring strings and horns. With its occasional abruptness of gentle guitar, it then bounces back to its upbeat side with a battle between guitars and horns near the end. It’s a favorite of mine that really adds to the wide variety of sounds presented on this album. (And you thought Dear Scott was great!) Track 8, “Connemara,” is a beautiful song highlighting intricate acoustic guitar work in a beautiful melody. And those horns and flutes really shine as well. It's by far my favorite so far. Set in the beautiful west coast of Ireland, according to Head, "’Connemara’ is about a decades long on/off love affair between Mrs. Rafferty, a lecturer and her ex-student.” Watch the video: 

 Track 9, “Merry Go Round,” is another softer lullaby with beautifully blended acoustic guitars filled with the current thoughts of Michael. “Somebody told me Shakespeare was a fraud. I didn’t know Will Sergeant loves The Doors. I then read Mussolini startled the trains. I didn’t realize Thatcher was insane.” Eventually here comes the rhythm section and those horns. It’s another favorite of mine. “You’re A Long Time Dead” is an interesting switch. Tuba? Clarinet? It’s got a 30s feel that takes the listener way back to Cole Porter’s “You’re The Top” era. Then, it’s back to present day with “Naturally It’s You.” A slower, bluesy string-driven piece that really could go on a bit longer in my opinion. It’s another gorgeous piece, but way too short. The album ends with “Coda,” a slow, gentle acoustic pop song filled with horns and strings. Again, it’s one that Bacharach could have penned. It’s a beautiful song that builds and builds all the way to the end. Head and his band have done it again. Loophole is destined to be on everyone’s 2024 top ten list and yet it’s only May. He’s got some live dates set up; here’s hoping he makes it to the States, also. ERIC EGGLESON https://www.michaelheadofficial.com/

https://michaelhead.tmstor.es/

More great news, Michael Head’s autobiography, Ciao Ciao Bambino: A Magical Memoir, is coming out this August 15th, from Nine Eight Books. You can pre-order here: https://geni.us/CiaoCiaoBambino

[philsmeatylegss]

omg yes pls make the list of fics

This is the most important list I’ll ever make

Here’s the very important list of fics I read once a week (or ones i recently found that I predict I will read once a week)

Big shoutout to @phanfictioncatalogue as ao3 scares me and I wouldn’t have found it without them

Some of these are a bit dark because I’m emo uh pls read tags

A Stolen Ring (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dan’s not normal. Why?

He's not human, he has a mysterious ring, and he hates Phil Lester. They have a strange past, one filled with bullying and avoidance, but when Dan turns into an incubus, everything changes. He struggles with his identity and cries himself to sleep most nights, yearning to be normal. And somehow the universe makes it worse by bringing him and Phil together - in the most literal sense.

Absolutely Lovely (ao3) - Autumn_Kismet

Summary: His friends and family think he's acting strange, they're worried that he's depressed again, but Dan doesn't see it. The only thing he sees is the new guy at school, the quirky one with the black hair and stunning blue eyes, and that's bad. So bad... because he likes him, and Dan can't like him. Dan can't be gay. He'll lose his family, he'll lose his friends... he'll become just like his father, and that's the last thing that he wants in the entire world. It's a scary thought that he doesn't think will ever go away and if there's the possibility of that happening, of him becoming the disgusting monster that his father was, or is, then maybe the world is better off without him, regardless of what PJ's dad, his mum's new husband, has to say.

Believe in Me (ao3) - Elleberquist6

Summary: Dan Howell is living at home while he’s saving money for college, which isn’t easy since his parents don’t understand him. Unlike them, he loves dogs, is a vegetarian, has no interest in the family business, and he despises the supernatural. He struggles to accept things that are illogical, even though he is a kitsune. Kitsune are foxes whose powers involve the ability to cast illusions, but Dan just wants to be normal. Phil Lester has just moved to London, where he works as a dog walker. When his path crosses with Dan, Phil is eager to get to know him. Unfortunately, Phil soon finds that being friends with Dan is far more complicated than he could have imagined.

Break Me (ao3) - MySecretsX

Summary: In this world, you're marked with black. That's if you have a soulmate at least. Everyone is destined to cross paths with the one who is meant for them, at least once in their lives.

When you and your soulmate meet, you will touch, if only briefly, and the exact area of skin you touch with the other turns from black to white, with streaks of blue, purple, yellow, all marbled in with each other.

Daniel Howell is well-known in town. People cross the street if they're approaching him and newcomers to the neighbourhood are warned about his presence. Exactly like the Lester's were. But Phil Lester has other ideas, he saw the pain within the boy, how bad can he really be?

Bury Your Flame (ao3) - worriedpeach (skeletonflowers)

Summary: After receiving a dragon egg when his grandfather passed away, Phil is forced to ask for help from the local dragon tamer. As he soon finds out, Dan Howell is nothing he’s been expecting. Infuriating, ludicrous, and completely lacking respect, Dan is everything Phil hates. But Phil will do anything to make his grandfather proud, even if that means getting help from the local cluck.

Cat and Mouse - jilliancares

Summary: Dan Howell is the Panther. He's evil, nefarious, ingenious, and good at coming up with adjectives for himself. The Raven is a nuisance, but he's definitely the most fun part when it comes to being a villain. As a child, Dan had been scared of his powers. He'd been weak. He'd become strong, though. Strong enough to torment the city; strong enough to annoy the Raven with every opportunity he got. 

changes (turn and face the strange) (ao3) - happy_hufflepuffle

Summary: Kath likes to think she doesn't miss things when it comes to her family. But maybe this time she did.

Or, Kath watches Phil through the years.

Christmas Coming Out (ao3) - FandomFeels17

Summary: He didn't intend to come out to his mum in his future mother in law's kitchen at Christmas... But here he was, doing exactly that.

class a klutz (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dan's an asshole who stars in high quality films and Phil's just a clumsy idiot who has bad timing.

Dogs - dans-awkward-phanfics

Summary: Phil’s dog has the habit of getting him into bad situations and Dan is Phil’s next door neighbour that seems to hate him and his dog. Oddly enough, their dogs like each other. Really like each other.

Ethereal (ao3) - Sinncity

Summary: Dan’s not normal. In fact, he’s never met a single person exactly like him. No one else can move objects with their mind, just by a simple thought. He lives life carefully, limited interactions and semi-non-existent social life. That is, until a pair of sapphire eyes change everything.

Get Out Your Damn Umbrellas (ao3) - llamalamp

Summary: Phil's only gone for one weekend.

Apparently that's all the time it takes for everything to fall apart.

Head Down Low - camisadan

Summary: Dan isn’t right. He’s not like most of the others, he’s not genetically pure. He has no destined path, he has nothing going for him in life. He’ll be lucky to get himself a job in a fast food kitchen, and everyone looks down on him like he’s a piece of dirt stuck at the bottom of their shoe. Except one person: Phil Lester.

I love him (ao3) - Misha_with_wings

Summary: Phil had hidden who he really was for such a long time that he was scared of people knowing the truth.

Luckily Dan comes into his life, making him feel safe and so extremely happy.

Dan makes Phil feel less scared to be himself, and he finally feels comfortable and ready to come out and show the real side of him.

No more fear, no more secrets, no more hiding.

I Want It, I Got It (ao3) - Yiffandquiff (paradisobound)

Summary: Phil Lester was a worker for the BBC in London. Working in the advertising department, he was content being alongside his friend and fellow coworker PJ during every shift. However, the BBC is temporarily being used as a film set for a new movie starring Hollywood ‘It’ star, Daniel Howell. Being stuck as an extra on the set, Phil finds it’s hard to ignore the famous star. And maybe, just maybe, Dan finds it hard to ignore Phil as well.

Make Me Feel Like Someone Else - sin-n-city

Summary: His strong persona is gone, broken into a million pieces and it feels as though all of him is shattered. "They kicked me out." Phil doesn't know it in him to walk away now. 

Or the one where Dan gets kicked out of home for admitting his gay and runs into a guy named Phil, who doesn't have it in him to let Dan stay on the streets.

Midnight Garden (ao3) - silentdescant

Summary: In which Phil is a gardener at the palace and Dan is a reclusive prince.

pastry chef attempts to steal phil's heart (ao3) - sierraadeux

Summary: If anyone asks, Prince Philip's sneaky morning journeys down to the royal pastry kitchen are for nothing more than the perfect cup of coffee.

restless (ao3) - overwhelmedbysonder

Summary: Breathe. Just breathe.

In. Out. In. Out. In.

It’s not that I don’t try. I see my family, my friends, visiting with their faked smiles and forced laughter, desperately trying to pretend that things are fine, that nothing’s changed. I see them and I want to reach out, I want to look at them and smile and reassure them that I’m here and I’m fine and I’m here, but I can’t, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t.

Or, the one where Phil struggles with depression, PTSD and being mute, and Dan just wants to hug him.

Shut Your Mouth and Listen Closely (ao3) - SimplyUndead

Summary: Dan is mute with an unfortunate past. Phil is a nice boy with a warm heart and love to give.

The Blind Boy - jilliancares

Summary: Dan Howell liked to think of his entire life as a series of tragic accidents. Because really, how many people can say that they managed to become blind and obtain a supposedly Cute Boy’s hate all in the span of one year? And Phil Lester has not had the best school life, so in order to avoid bullying or a bad reputation, he refuses to take shit from anyone at this new school. Even if that someone just so happens to be blind.

The Music In Me (ao3) - DiamondValley

Summary: Phil takes on Martyn’s bet that he can’t learn to play the piano and gets lessons to prove him wrong. He expects a few things:

- He’ll be terrible

- He’ll get bored very quickly because he is terrible

- Martyn will win the bet, but he’ll have tried something new and completed his new year’s resolution

What he doesn’t expect is the instant connection he forms with his curly-haired piano teacher.

the second tetris block (ao3) - dizzy

Summary: Things seem to be falling into place for Phil.

The Slave Boy (ao3) - Phandiction

Summary: On his eighteenth birthday Phil receives a quiet and timid slave boy as a gift from his father. Phil intends to make Dan his friend more than a slave but social status and pressure from his father forces the two to keep an emotional distance when it comes to being in public. Behind closed doors though the Master and his slave become close. Phil is expected to take over his father's business and marry a prestigious young girl but this isn't what the young Master wants. What he wants is something he can't have in his world, his slave boy.

they grew up so nicely, didn't they? (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Cornelia doesn’t just get a boyfriend when she starts dating Martyn, she gets a whole second family too. Kath and Nigel welcome her with open arms and she becomes a pseudo older sister to Phil.

She is there watching from the sidelines as a boy bolts right into Phil’s heart and sets up camp. She gets to watch as Dan and Phil build careers and an internet community and all the trials and tribulations, as well as the pride and happiness, it brings along.

They'll Tear Us Apart If You Give Them the Chance (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dan and Phil are both princes and they've been taught to hate each other their whole lives. They meet in a forest.

Those Who Trust - theshyauthor

Summary: (TW) Dan used to be a submissive and now he’s just a broken shell of a man.

Trust Me, I'm Broken Too (ao3) - natigail

Summary: The Lesters – the royal family of his homeland – was nothing like Dan thought they would be. Well, the King was just as horrible as he had heard but the King’s brother’s son, who was third in line for the throne, was nothing like Dan thought he’d be. Dan had been adrift for three years going from one “place of employment” to another, only his life was seen as worthless and he was more property than an employee. He had never imagined he’s end up as the property of Prince Philip.

The Prince had no intention of ever taking on a personal servant, which was a fancy name to disguise the fact a law essentially enslaved people. Phil often had to do things he didn’t want to or risk being removed from the succession to the crown. If that happened, who knew who his tyrant of an uncle would pick as a successor? When pressured into the choosing, he’d wanted to go for the most innocent, young girl, but hard brown eyes caught his attention instead.

Venus’s Looking Glass - auroraphilealis

Summary: Shy!punk!Phil has been crushing on confident!pastel!Dan for years now, but he’s never felt comfortable enough to do anything about it until he accidentally comes out to his brother Martyn, who is nothing but supportive. It’s Martyn’s idea to woo Dan with flowers - only, he didn’t mean do it anonymously.

we’ll never be royals (extended) - phanimist

Summary: royalty au where phil's the kind handsome prince and dan's a poor commoner who dreams of becoming world class musician. phil's parents hold a ball so he can meet his suitors, but he ends up falling for the pianist instead.

where we belong (ao3) - parentaladvisorybullshitcontent

Summary: "Only you," Martyn says.

"Only me what?"

"Only you could end up stranded in the middle of nowhere with a gay author who writes gay books. Jesus Christ, Phil."

In which Phil is snowed in with nobody but the mysterious dark haired author next door for company.

Weather With You (ao3) - Evening42

Summary: Phil moves to an isolated cottage to start his dream of writing a novel. He meets a mysterious silent stranger on the beach who has a tragic history.

This is pathetic😭

[cicidarkarts]

Hospice - 2: Sebastian

< Previous Chapter | Chapter List | Next Chapter >

“Get me some decent food,” his mother demanded. “These hospital meals are shite.” “Yes, Mum.” “And pick up something actually good this time, for God’s sake.”

Ominis made his way to the cafeteria down the hall, leaving his mother to lounge in bed and watch television. He didn’t know what she wanted exactly. Not that it mattered. She would probably be unhappy with his choice regardless, but he waited in line while reading over their only braille menu.

The cafeteria had pretty much the same things his mother got three times a day, with only a few exceptions. He chose a wrap she hadn’t tried before—chicken, lettuce, and tomatoes with ranch sauce. Maybe that would be good enough. He asked for a couple tins of fruit and a tuna sandwich for himself. It was hardly filling, but enough for a couple hours.

When he got back to the room and his mother took a bite from her wrap, she grumbled.

“Crappy cold chicken. Figures, I give you a simple task and you manage to muck it all up.” “Sorry, Mum.”

He ate his food quietly, listening to her mutter about how much she despised his food choice, and how the smell of his tuna sandwich was turning her stomach. Over the years—perhaps due to her illness, perhaps due to her personality—she’d only gotten worse and snippier with him.

His keen ears caught wind of a commotion down the hall, which his mother seemed not to hear beyond the sound of her television. Rushing nurses, hurried orders, confusion and fear—

Then silence.

He waited, and heard sobbing. Someone must've passed. Curious, he headed out.

"The hell are you going?" his mum asked. "Bathroom," he said.

He went down the hall, opposite the previous chaos and toward where the old men had gathered. It was lunch, meaning they wouldn't turn up for another 10 minutes or so, but Ominis figured he could wait. So he sat on the long, uncomfortable couch. A nurse walked by and he resisted the strong urge to read her mind.

Minutes later, the sound of hobbling and heavy steps lumbered to their usual meet-up. They came from all sides, grumbling and sniffling and coughing.

"Yo, Phil!" called one from across the room. Ominis came to know him as Tony. "Ya hear all that commotion down your way?" "It was Betty, wudinit?" asked Marcus. "No, no," said Phil. "It was Jerald. Poor old coot."

The couch dropped as Phil took his usual spot, and the others gathered about as well. A hand clasped Ominis' shoulder.

"You all right, kid?" asked Phil. "Yes, sir," he said. "Balls of steel on this little man," said Richard. "Looks like you won the pot, too."

Everyone paid up, and Phil counted out the money before handing it to Ominis. An odd glow of pride washed over him as he pocketed his gains, and as the men sang his praises for winning and being unfazed by Jerald's death. He didn't really understand why he felt like he was walking on air that day.

He took that money up to a nearby vending machine later that evening. He felt the machine to locate its braille. The slow-going process filled him with anticipation as he found a favorite treat for his mother—a cheese Danish. He ordered that and chocolate covered pretzels for himself then two lemonades before jogging back to his room with his hands full. The Danish and pretzel bags set clamped in his teeth so he could use a free hand on his cane. A passing nurse offered help, but he shook his head and kept hurrying down the corridor.

Once in his room, he set his cane aside and held out the Danish.

"Look, Mum! They had one of your favorites in the vending machine!" He approached the bed and handed it to her. "Thanks, Ominis. That's very thoughtful."

He beamed and handed her the lemonade, too. For once, she ate in silence, filling Ominis with pride at being able to assuage his mother. It helped him sleep easier that night, his chest swelling with hope for his future.

The next day, however, was more of the same. His mother complained and thought nothing was good enough. Nothing from the menu was appetizing and nothing the nurses did was ever done right. When Ominis set his cane aside to help his mother stand up, he accidentally knocked over her television tray.

"Be careful where you're going!" she demanded. "Can't you just walk without destroying everything?" "Sorry, Mum." "Just help me to the bathroom without killing us both." "Okay…"

Later that evening, he sat around making more death bets. He read the mind of a passing nurse.

'Poor Fritz is on his way out, I think. His heart can't take much more.'

"10 dollars on Fritz," he said. "Fritz?" Phil asked. "You insane, Ominis? That guy's as strong as a bull, there's no way." "I stand by my bet."

The whole gang laughed.

"You're sumthin' else!" said Richard. "Glad we asked the little dude to join us," said Marcus. "He's a hoot and a half!"

Ominis grinned. This crowd wasn't one he'd expected to enjoy, but being so included and heard was an undeniable perk.

As the days passed, Ominis thought maybe the nurse had been wrong about Fritz, but before the time limit of the week was up, Fritz, too, perished. Ominis earned his winnings, and used some of it to reward himself and his mother with the vending machine food that same evening.

He heard someone walk up behind him. Their presence felt small, like someone around his age.

"What do you recommend?" asked the boy. "I hate pretty much everything on the top row." "I don’t even know what's on the top row. I can't reach it." "So? Can't you read?" Ominis held out his cane. "No." "Oh. Sorry." "It's all right." "Well, you're not missing anything. Animal crackers, wheat thins, cracker-crackers—yuck!" The boy made a dramatic retching noise.

Ominis smiled as he got his usual and took his change. He moved aside to the sodas to let the boy get his food.

"I'm Sebastian," said the boy. "Here with my sister and our uncle." "I’m Ominis. I hope your uncle is okay." "Oh no, it's my sister, Anne. She's really ill." "I'm very sorry, Sebastian." "Yeah, but she'll be okay. I don't think we'll be here for all that long—she'll bounce back, I just know it!" "I'm sure she will," Ominis agreed, collecting his lemonades. "Get the chocolate covered pretzels. They're one of my favorites." "Thanks!" said Sebastian with a huge grin clear in his voice.

[shiningstaroffaith]

I am who I am and I will never change.

I am a part heyoka empath, part sigma empath and other empaths mixed in.

I strongly believe in human rights and get upset when I see others rights violated.

I believe in consent, human dignity, women viewing their bodies and appearance the way they like, people who are free to live according to their beliefs, behaviours they enjoy and values eg surfies who love surfing should be able to live beside the ocean and do it each day, people who want to have piercings and tattoos should be able to have them, women should dress the way they wish even if it is not what you like..sometimes I think they should cover up a bit more but of they like it then they do, if you need to have an abortion then you have the right to choose etc, I believe in equality between men and women that women shouldn't feel less capable than men and are as strong as men and that they should not feel limited in their capacity to achieve or be leaders etc as a woman I never felt limited and knew their were women trades, fire-fighters etc whether i could do those things or not...I just thought YOU GO GIRL

I do not believe in racism or homophobia or prejudice against others for differences.

I believe people should care about others and if they can help others.

I believe in free will that it is a human right, same as freedom of speech and freedom of choice.

I do not believe anyone has a right to limit your choices well certainly not a human only if it is for your own good and not by human hands unless you need to go to jail for a crime.

I love myself But if anyone tries to hurt me I have learnt to stand up for myself because you should never let anyone try to steal your sparkle.

You are my night in shimmering armour Gilbert. Don't you mean shining mama. No shimmering..you shimmer and you glow

Anyway I do not believe I am limited, I can do anything I set my mind to. I always believed in my dreams and held my hopes high whether it was through a magazine clipping, a sticker or a magazine. I would look at these things when I had nothing and was at my lowest to remind me of my dreams and what was possible in my life.

When I was sick, I was thinking about my dreams and how I still had time to do something I enjoyed and have a family and live a place I loved. And how I needed to get out and go shopping and brought the cutest shirt and do not know why I took it back.

And how i used to shop at dotti, dangerfield and vintage shops like retrostar and shag.

And when I was sick i listened to pop music, put cute backgrounds on my twitter, watched teen mom and dreamed of burgers and my favourite foods when I got better and brought stickers, magazines and flowers to brighten my days and lollies and gum or mints.

I used to watch the simple life with Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie and I hated it and thought they were so rude. I watched the bachelor with my mum and was really thinking it was romantic when they found the one and me and my mum thought it was the most beautiful thing ever and wondered whether they would last.

We used to watch passions this crazy soap with this scary little boy and a witch called Tabitha I an convinced I made my mum watch this but was always scared of the little boy and watched him with trepidation.

I used to watch home and away with Angel and Dylan and Dylan died and it was really tragic and the braxton boys with my dad (I made him watch it) and loved like ruby and others and was happy for her when she got married in real life and saw her wedding in a magazine and thought it was pretty and dreamed of my own wedding.

And me and my mum watched Oprah and Ellen and I thought they were nice people because they always gave money and Dr Phil and I thought he was really great for being patient with those people and sorting out their heinous issues and sometimes got sad, watched the doctors and wondered if everything they said was true and the midday movies which were sometimes about murders and horrible scary rubbish.

When I was sick I often watched movies in bed all night if I could not sleep often my very favourites like Romy and Michele's high school reunion, view from the top and where the heart is.

I do not know but I was obsessed with that movie how she had her baby in Walmart. And 'have a romy and Michele day' and I invented post its. God they were rude...they were rude. I just get so happy when they finally let her shop.

Anyway i love me. I am always true to myself. I do not care who comes against me. I do my best and I love me. I do not see anything wrong with myself and believe in kind people and givers. I just want to be me without having to compare it to someone else. Comparing for me is jealousy, it makes no difference. It was not me who put lunge in my air each day. I do not believe I am evil.

I like my independence and am proud of my strength and believe in taking care of the planet.

[bemyhcro]

💀 & 🐱 & 😱

💀 - has your muse gone through anything traumatic? if so, how has this trauma affected them?

this boy is a living work of trauma. like most here, he was a part of the battle of hogwarts - not so traumatic for him, even his injury was seen as a war wound to show off - but the most traumatic thing came four years after. kingsley shacklebolt reveals the truth of his dad, strips any honours and labels him a traitor to the wizarding world, to the good and the heroes of their world. of course having the idea of your 'deceased' father stripped from you to be an absolute fabricated lie was traumatic enough, the worst part was how pax was treated as if he were peter himself. isolated, cursed in the streets, beaten and abused for the horrors peter assisted with, the man he was loyal to and the cause he aided. all was forgotten of the helpful gryffindor, of the man whom fought for the wizarding world in the war, he was simply a pettigrew. it caused him to go into a state of solitude, to pull away from society and avoid the abuse - this is when he became estranged from the rest of his family (whom never actually villified him may i add) - and in this state he was confused, didn't know what to do and look at him now. groomed and cared for by the DE and a double agent against people that once were his friends.

🐱 - does your muse have pets? did they have pets as a child? how do they feel about animals?

pax never had pets growing up for two reasons: one, his mum was gravely allergic to animal fur; two, the flat they rented did not allow pets. though did this stop him from trying to lure stray cats home? no it did not. pax is a big animal lover and now has buddy (a seven year old golden retriever, he's a good boy) and phil (an eleven year old birman, he was a stray).

😱 - does your muse have any specific fears? where did those fears come from?

he has two specific fears that still linger with him to this day: one, he fears the dark - pax has always had a fear of the dark and has had to use a night light to sleep soundly, the reason for this was his childhood home was broken into when he was four and the house was pitch black, all he could do then was hear the people moving around and couldn't see them; he still uses a night light to this day - two, he fears the unknown - more specifically the ocean. pax is not a strong swimmer, okay, and the fact that most of the uk's surrounding water is murky as hell, that's a no from pax.

[renatedagmarmilada]

quote After LAB ST BARTHS HUMAN RESEARCH had the two sons of my aunt Magdalena mum's sister /formerly Fekete from Poszon/ and Willy Schmidt killed in Geelong Australia, using Abramovich cousin looking for places to start Sports in Australia, in a staged accident to copy Princess Di's which was from the lab, and the daughter in a staged job in Canada and crash over Iceland where we had the Icelanders leave daughter 6 mth pregnant Helen Schmidt trapped under a cabin and froze to death and used rats to eat her /involuntary action also includes using animals../ My aunt Magdalena, having moved to Freemantle, went sort of a bit not right - she was on the Human research machine Melbourne run by the St barths Human Research killer mob, Phil ..was one.. She told her husband to clear off. WE HELPED THE JEWS BACK AT HOME UNDER THE NAZIS, SO IT WASN'T US-- ABRAMOVICH KILLED HIM BECAUSE OF YOU WILLI... This suited us, separate and conquer, so we fed all sorts of nonsense into his head and had him say it, no longer rare technology, as we did your son Joe in Sheffield and his friends here-

did Willi Smidt have an evil past? NO A SIMPLE FARM WORKER< PARTY? NO-- It was Mayer of Edgeware Rd London unqualified doctor, who was obsessed with being jewish /besides killing hundreds of little patients at St Barth Care Home/... Willy went to live with one of his sons, so we used him for the same killer tests we used on your dad-SEMEN TELEWNY /used by Allan Lieberman Cross of FInchley../- killing him bit by bit, heart, then stomach etc just as they killed your very strong dad.. Willy was no stronger... OUR WHOLE FAMILY WHICH HELPED JEWS IN THEIR OUR OF NEED.................... AS DID THE PALESTINIANS BACK THEN...

[vneuns]

— “LIGHTNING MCQUEEN BANDAID" + 6/6 Sbi

author’s note(s): I absolutely adore family dynamics and having such a traumatizing childhood but being able to write something so special to me really really makes me all mushy inside hehe i hope you all love this piece my loves <3

cw warnings: fem!reader , phil and r are in a relationship but it’s not talked about , crack family basically, my first pg fic. wowza

“Tommy. Tubbo.” You sighed as both toddlers continued to try their hardest to run after Technoblade and Wilbur. As the sun had set and the weather began to become cooler you and Phil decided it would be best to get the boys out of the house for a breath of fresh air.

But of course no one said taking five children out under the age ten would be easy. So you had a system.

Phil walked ahead with Wil and Tech so they wouldn’t bother the littles, whilst you walked with Tommy and Tubbo who both had backpack leashes on and Ranboo who opted for holding your unoccupied hand and looked around at the outside scenery.

“But we wanna go with the older boys N/n.” Tom whined as he and Tub let up on the pulling when you had pulled back slightly almost causing them to fall.

“We are trying to have a peaceful outing and the four of you together are nothing but trouble.” The boy next to you giggled at the mention of his chaotic brothers. “They’re so silly right?” You whispered to him with a grin. He smiled nodding, fixing the crown that sat on his head.

“Hey I heard that!” Tubbo declared looking back at the two of you over his shoulder with a glare. “Good maybe it’d get you to stop being so wild.” His shoulders rose and fell in a shrug as he became roped in a conversation with Tom about taking over the slides when you reached the park.

-

All of the kids stood in a line side by side as they waited for you to give them their directions. “No hitting, slapping, insulting, or peeing on random objects.”

You told them seriously as you gave each and everyone ( except ranboo ) a pointed glared while you walked back and forth in front of them Phil watching amusingly from the bench behind you.

“If I hear one yell that isn’t from having fun, a single tear falls from anyone’s eye unless it’s from getting hurt, or hear even one small peep of a tattle tale we’ll go home and never come to the park again, understand?”

They all nodded before running off onto the playground equipment when you gave them a nod of approval to be free.

“You’re so great at this.” Phil beamed at you as you plopped down on the uncomfortable bench next to him resting your head on his shoulder. “I know, I should've been given a raise a long time ago.” Mid yawn you waved at Tommy who was waving frantically at you for no reason in particular.

“Yeah you really should’ve.” The blonde chuckled, rubbing your scalp calmly.

After a moment of silence a pair of very chapped lips kissed the top of your head, your eyes following after Wil and Boo who were screaming at the top of their lungs as their pink haired older brother tried to tag them.

“Ya know what tomorrow is?”

“Laundry day?”

He chuckled, shaking his head, placing his chin atop your head. “No, tomorrow’s mother’s day.”

“S’Nice but i’m not their mum so..” You trailed off eyes flickering between each little light of your life as their big smiles held a special place in your heart. You weren’t their birth mother of course but you were just like it.

The person who was there cheering them on at their games, who was there when they fell and needed someone to clean up their scrapes, and the person who constantly reminded them they were loved.

“But you could be.” He whispered. The statement caught you off guard. You immediately picked your head up looking at him confused. “Wha- what do you mean by could be?”

Just as he went to say something all five of your little army where surrounding you and Phil’s bench Techno holding Tommy who was clutching his knee in pain.

“Oh tommy what’s wrong?” You cradled the boy who had very little tears falling down his cheek as he tried to keep them in.

Wilbur spoke first as he squeezed Tommy’s hand. “We found him under the slide trying not to cry, and then when i asked him what’s wrong he said he didn’t want to go home.”

Phil scrunched his nose as he rubbed the boys leg soothingly. “Tommy, if you got hurt why would you think we’d go home.” You knew he was strong, ( and hard headed ) but he was a great kid with an amazing heart and it always made you feel a little tearful when you thought about how much he was going to grow.

When you got no answer you cradled him to you kissing his head and rocking slightly. “Go play guys.” You whispered when your little stubborn boy began to let it all out.

They each nodded before running off to leave their brother alone in the comfort of the adults.

“It’s alright Tom, you’re a big boy right?” Phil smiled, rubbing the underside of his son's chin with the side of his index finger wiping up some of the tears.

It was as if he had some sort of magic in his words or maybe that callused finger of his, but whatever it was made the little one in your arms wipe his tears.

“Want a lightning mcqueen band-aid for that nasty cut?”

@heyskeppy @inniterhq @basilly @yamturds @dysfunctionalcrab @siriushxney @sqpnap @tinyegg @ttakinou @charnease @i-mmunity @b3l0v3ds @alice-blue-skies @the-swageyama-tobiyolo

[sylum]

This is a Part 2 of the Philza x Daughter!Y/n headcanon that my dear Apollo Anon and I correlated on in @helliontherapscallion discord! (Also pretend that the confrontation of Dream happens after Wilbur gets revived, I know that's not technically what happens but the plot in the story works if its like that)

imagine, if you will: (spoilers for the recent headcanon)

When wilbur is revived, reader is left alone. her seeing eye friend is gone, and wilbur doesn't have the time to be there all the time. too busy hatching plans with his "hero", dream. so reader is left with friend for a while. then, y'all know what happens to friend. so after both of reader's companions are gone, they're left with no way to see, noone to talk to, and no family that's strong enough to be there for them. as an afterthought, when reader (inevitably) dies, Philza is heartbroken. he knows he couldn't be there, but he had hoped that his son would at least try. even tommy, but he was too busy plotting against dream. Techno wouldn't have been able to help, he was with phil, and phil was beyond the point of forgiveness for the reader. phil's gut-wrenching sobs for his second-favourite child would haunt wilbur forever, as he was half-heartedly scolded at the funeral by a grieving father and family. Tommy wouldn't be able to speak, already blaming himself, and techno wouldn't really know what to do. (he was never one for emotions, and he was never really there in reader's life). Wilbur would cry with phil, finally realising exactly how he massively fucked up. reader would be buried by l'manhole. leaving their body by the rest of the wreckage that cost them their sight and flight. Phil and Wilbur would never heal, I'm not sure about Tommy, but I'm sure he'd linger on it. Techno would move on. and reader's grave would be decorated with sunflowers on their every birthday. they seemed to randomly appear, but if you lingered, you'd see the annual reuniting of a broken son and father, coming together to mourn.

Y/n is an immortal so when she dies I believe she'll go back to Mumza (Kristin) and she'd hold Y/n as tight as she can crying golden tears and apologising for everything that everyone else has done to her. Y/n missing the of touch from another human being just completely breaks down as her Mum cradles her. I think then Kristin would make her the God of Judgment, (like the Statue you'd find in Greek Mythology with the blindfold over their eyes and holding the scales) and meet Dream XD and during the point in the SMP where they go and confront Dream, Y/n would appear in their God form and pass judgment on Dream sending him to Pandoras Box. Tommy and the rest of the server stands their shocked as she waves Sam forward to escort him to the prison, and Tommy reaches out croaking out Y/n's name and when she turns to look at him, she doesnt say anything but just nods affectionately to him because she acknowledges that out of all the members of her family Tommy was the only one who never really wronged her. She then disappears in a silver flash leaving everyone to tell people who weren't their what happened.

Word reaches Philza who cries out in both joy and pain, glad to know his child was with his better half knowing she would take better care of her then he ever did, and could only hope she would forgive him for the mistreatment of his daughter.

Now back in the Inbetween, you're sitting on your thrown when a have totem half shark man appears, smiling from ear to ear.

Aaaanndd ima end it at that for right now hehe will there be a part 3? Maybe!

As before please ignore any spelling errors I'm an artist not a writer lmao.

[matchaoink]

Sbi things i love in fanfics

Hero/Villain/Vigilante AUs, i will eat all of them up. They're all so flexible too, the storyline can change depending on whos the villain or hero etc, its amazing. I know ppl say they think its overused like damn your mums overused and you dont see my complaining, obviously its overused, its a good damn au

Fae AUs, another all time favourite, i love when writers describe the fae and the rule of "dont tell the fae your name" is always there, amazing, top tier, undeafeatable

Along with the one above ^^^^ i love it when Phil is like the King of the fae court, amazing.

ANDNNNN in relation to number 3, i ADORE BAMF Phil, like THE Angel Of DEATH and the CROWFATHER type, we NEED. more BAMF phil, seeing Phil being all powerful and strong and just badass? So good.

Also BAMF tommy is amazing, like the youngest being strong and kicking people in the faces to protecy his family is SUCH a good trope. SO good. Also love seeing Tommy being a badass

The Crimebros banter when they first meet. Its iconic, its in almost every fanfic, along the lines of "old hipster balding wibbles" and the "gremlin annoying child tomathy" just <3<3<3<<3, it also nice to see how they both connect with each other like brothers

When 3/4SBI known each other for a long time and just meet Tommy. Good solid one, cause its like how they actually met

The Bedrock Bros name exchange. Cmon we all know it, the "Technoblade? What type of name is Technoblade???" Amazing. S tier

When Phil has a personality. Please stop writing him as just a dad TT

When sbi just freely show affection :')(##**#*@*@&# its so sweet and just :))

Morally ambiguous sbi. Thats it.

When twinsduo are ACTUALLY twins <3

The father-son moments between Phil and the others :))))

When the name "SleepyBoisInc or SBI" can somehow be incoparated into the fic as a name

Neapolitan trio brother bonding momentssssss

Tommy as a barista. ITS always the best TALK to the wall.

Actor AUs are my everything, especially when Tommy looks up to the SBI as inspirations MMMMMMMMM

Just anytime sbi call phil "dad" when they usually call him Phil

Same thing when neapolitan trio are like " little brother" or "big brother" :'lxldlsksk

When Techno is like "hes not my twin" and wilbur argues with him about it

There's more obviously, but these are all i can think of atm heheheh

Sbi <3<3<3 fambilyy

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Fics Written in 2021 (2) Masterlist

part one

a decent chap (ao3) - calvinahobbes, yikesola

Summary: “The fabled danisnotonfire.” Martyn can’t help a smirk when the poor boy’s eyes flicker quickly away from his at the mention of his Twitter handle. “Welcome. You boys want a nightcap?”

A million little suns (ao3) - jestbee

Summary: Dan is just trying to get as far away from his home town as possible at Christmas when he gets stuck in a snow storm. He's rescued by an enigmatic stranger who take him back to his cabin in the mountains. What Dan doesn't know is that his rescuer is prolific, best-selling writer of erotica, Ricky Blitz. Will Dan end up with a porn-worthy situation all of his own? (hint: yes)

Porn with feels and some Christmas magic.

Advent Calendar 2021 (ao3) - Phantje

Summary: Phil lives and works in a town in the North called Lylchester. Well, 'works'. He does charitable things in the name of being nice and his (adoptive) parents. Things are fine. Yeah. Fine. Meeting Dan who has strong opinions about peculiar things shakes up Phil's life and he is falling before he can help it.

Dan lives and works somewhere, or anywhere really. By fate, or call it the British Railway train running times, he ends up in Lylchester. Before he can help himself, he has made the first real best friend he has ever had - Beatrix. And suddenly, life does not seem so difficult anymore. Dan appreciates the work he can do, even if it has him interact with the rich idiot Phil more often that he would personally choose.

August (ao3) - glowingatmosphere

Summary: When Dan returns home and meets up with his childhood friend Phil after they’ve finished their first year of uni, he notices that things between them are different. As they rekindle their friendship, Dan completely immerses himself in the new feelings that he’s developing for his best friend. But when Phil starts talking about another boy, Dan begins to wonder whether Phil was ever really his.

Bardic Inspiration (ao3) - dickiegreenleaf

Summary: Dan is a travelling bard looking for a safe place for him and his beloved horse to spend the night. Thankfully, the local tavern owner, Phil, can offer him one.

Better Off (ao3) - tellsfromhale

Summary: Dan's relationship with his family has been getting better, but when his mum drops the bomb that she's seeing someone and wants Dan to meet him, Dan doesn't know how to handle it.

boys they wanna paint me (ao3) - chickenfree

Summary: It’s not like Phil’s never had a boy stay over, but they’ve never done this.

Camboy Kitty (ao3) - intoapuddle

Summary: Dan does camboy porn and Phil helps out with the streams in a quiet way. Today's outfit choice is getting to him kind of a lot, though...

can i go where you go? (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: dan and phil find time to settle down.

a proposal, a marriage, a honeymoon, and an adoption.

the life they'd always secretly wanted.

company policy (ao3) - watergator (orphan_account)

Summary: dan works in a bakery-by-day, gay club-by-night bar. phil owns said bar. things happen.

Dandelions (ao3) - throughtheirsnoses (det395)

Summary: Phil returns to his small town after studying how to improve his power that lets him grow plants with his mind. Phil is anxious and struggling with the expectations put on him to grow new plant-based medicine and on top of it all, his childhood best friend, Dan, gets his heart broken and turns to Phil as a rebound. Phil panics.

familiar faces (ao3) - watergator (orphan_account)

Summary: there's a handsome tesco delivery man standing in phil's doorway and he can't figure out where he recognises him from. until he does

Forever Home (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Phil’s wanted a dog for as long as he can remember, and now that he and Dan are moving into their new house, it’s the perfect opportunity. But there’s just one problem: Phil’s allergic to dogs.

i'll just try to hide it (ao3) - dvp_95

Summary: Phil isn't sure if the house was actually perfect for them or if he and Dan had both just needed to get out of that flat as soon as possible, but he's glad they're here.

It's a bit of a fixer upper, but that's okay. So is Phil.

Illicit Affairs (ao3) - yiffandquiff

Summary: Dan and Phil are negotiating a deal to merge their two successful video game companies. However, stolen glances and secret meetings determine that the two men want more than a company merger: they want each other.

papercut (ao3) - schnaf

Summary: A cut. A tiny little cut, barely visible - just like a papercut. A cut - and yet, to Dan, it’s so much more. It’s the case he’s working on, the case only he seems to be taking seriously - it’s a serial killer’s signature. So when he gets the chance to track down the murderer, he doesn’t hesitate. And then, there’s Phil, Phil who’s making the chase so much more bearable, Phil who adds something completely different to his task. But things aren’t always what they seem.

Please Don't Say You Love Me (Cause I Might Not Say It Back) (ao3) - phantasticworks (steddieworks)

Summary: Dan's not very good at hiding his emotions during hookups.

based on this tweet: "got so used to saying "I love you" when I was having sex with my ex that I'm out here fighting for my life to not say it on accident with a hookup"

Pretty Guy (ao3) - Archive (Curlylinguist)

Summary: Drinking as a coping mechanism is not Phil’s usual style, but then, he reasons, neither is spontaneously tagging along on an entirely unplanned night out with a bunch of strangers after the bizarre high of a successful publishing meeting. And all just because a pretty boy asked him to.

Or, Phil stumbles across a Pride rally and a certain curly-haired queer activist catches his eye.

The Boy And The Builder (ao3) - intoapuddle, jestbee

Summary: Dan is stuck in a house full of builders feeling sorry for himself. Until he meets Phil, that is...

the etiquette of a farmer’s market (ao3) - Fictropes

Summary: It starts with Phil destroying a supermarket shelf, it ends with the hot guy running the cheese stall.

Thunder Only Happens When It's Raining (ao3) - Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan)

Summary: Dan meets Phil at the lowest moment in his life and is immediately enchanted by him, but nobody is perfect - not even those with good intentions and a kind heart.

This is the story of two imperfect people trying to do their best, to find love and strive in life. They gravitate towards each other at every turn, sometimes dancing in harmony, other times colliding.

To Live and Let Go (ao3) - raisedufromperdition

Summary: Upon his diagnosis of a terminal illness, Dan vows to spend the rest of his short life with Phil by his side, completing his bucket list while learning what it really means to live and love.

Under the Midnight Sun (ao3) - yiffandquiff

Summary: Every night in London, a midnight circus pops up under the ringmaster Phil Lester’s command. Many of the performers are runaways, looking for a new start at life. One of them is Daniel Howell, a young man who is looking for a new excitement to his life. But slowly, the secrets of the midnight circus and Phil Lester became shown and Dan realizes that he may be in a situation he’ll never be able to get out of

[mcyt-imagines]

hi hi ! first off, just a tip if you'd like more requests/asks in general you should prob turn on anon since this is like the only time i've sent a non-anon ask. but anyways, i'm assuming requests are open and i'd like to ask if you would write either just ranboo fluff in general or something like the tommy confession headcanons but w ranboo :D what you've posted so far is great <3

Thank you so much for letting me know! I thought I had anon turned on already, but it’s 100% turned on now! Regarding your request I got a little carried away and wrote both some general fluff and some confession headcanons for Ranboo so this post is a little long... Hope you enjoy! :D

(It’s important to note that these headcanons are a combination of ones pertaining to his Minecraft character in the dsmp and him outside of the dsmp roleplay!)

General Ranboo Fluff

- Dreamsmp Ranboo -

The first time Ranboo cries in front of you is when you confess to him and he is so happy and relieved that you reciprocate his feelings. He even smiles through the pain of his tears as you panic to cover the skin beneath his eyes, so your hands catch his tears to stop the pain.

Ranboo likes to ask if you need any resources from time to time and once you finally give in and answer, he spends the rest of his day trying to collect as much of it as he can. This has led to a few incidents in which you came back to your shared indent in the snowy mountain to find a chest stacked full with polished stone and countless ores. You’ve scolded him but the way he responds with big puppy dog eyes wishing to “just be helpful.” Sets the butterflies caged in your chest free every damn time.

Ranboo in addition to asking you for want you want he is also very observant in noticing what you need. Any tools close to breaking? Brilliant, he’s already got three more of the same tools ready for you to grab when you need it. He also names them using the anvil to some silly super cheesy pet names.

One of his favourite things to do with you is stargaze. You both travel to the top of your snowy mountain and clear out a space free of snow to lie down and simply hold each other. Ranboo has started asking Techno (on the nights you are away) to point out the stars and tell him their corresponding stories. He happily relays all of this information to you in exaggerated detail, looking at you in awe as your expressions change with the twinkling lights above.

Ranboo almost always carries a little umbrella around with him in case it begins to rain. Most of his friends notice and all start to buy him some. He now has a full collection that line his wall just next to the door. It’s those small things that allows him to remember who his real friends are.

Ranboo LOVES having his hair played with. He will fall asleep within minutes of you beginning to tousle his hair as he rests his head in your lap. He may make soft enderman noises, but you don’t dare tell him. Content on keeping that little secret to yourself.

Ranboo has to be kinda careful around snow considering that if it melts it will hurt him. Meaning he has to sit out on any snowball fights that occur. And they occur more frequently than you would think. It usually starts with Phil throwing a rogue snowball at Techno when Phil notices him slumping his shoulders. Which means it doesn’t take long until it’s a full-blown war. You usually find yourself smack bang in the middle of it and have to dive down to avoid getting pummelled in the crossfire. Ranboo will call you over to hide behind Techno’s house. As the onslaught continues between the two. you giggle and commentate over the fierce battle together.

- Outside of Dreamsmp Ranboo - 

Ranboo enjoys watching you whenever you are focused on something. He’s incredibly observant and finds himself mimicking the small little nuances he sees you exhibit. He gets incredibly flustered whenever you notice that he’s picked up on them, but he doesn’t bother to deny it.

Ranboo finds himself staring at you a lot. He doesn’t mean to but he can’t help it. You catch him frequently, “Watching me real closely, hm?” He tries to stutter out an answer to defend himself, but you just smile and tell him it’s okay.

Ranboo finds a lot of comfort in doing ‘domestic’ activities with you. However, one of his personal favourites is when the two of you go out to get groceries together. His mum will give him a small list and he’ll try his best to dawdle around the store whilst swinging your intertwined hands to make the visit as long as possible. It makes him think of a future in which the two of you get to do this every single week and that alone warms his heart.

Ranboo always has to be near you, he doesn’t have to be physically touching you but he prefers to just be stupidly close to you. It always makes you laugh when he sits just close enough to you that you don’t touch, so now he has to do it forever.

Your laugh is one of his favourite sounds. To the point that if you giggle or laugh at something, he will just keep doing it over and over again for as long as you keep laughing at it. Which eventually leads to the both of you red-faced and gasping for air.

Ranboo is a terrible cook. But he tries so hard to follow recipes and they always flop. He also for some reason, cannot attempt cooking without making an utter mess of himself. Whether it’s spilling flour all over himself, getting egg yolk splatter somehow in his hair or just spilling copious amounts of milk on the floor so that he slips. This boy is a walking, talking kitchen DISASTER. So now he can only cook with you supervising him. Which turns out, wasn’t as much of a punishment as it should have been. As your tutelage seems to have slightly improved his cooking skills. However, now you also get flour spilt all over you as well.

Ranboo Confession Headcanons

- Realising he likes you - 

Ranboo denies he has feelings for you at first. Believing that you’re just a good friend whose company he really enjoys. But the more he focuses on your friendship the quicker he realises he would prefer if you were more to him than that.

This thought alone sends him into a little bit of a spiral for a few days. Grappling with the thought of rejection and the guilt he would feel if he ever hurt you.

He spends most of the time grappling with his feelings he continues to try and act as normal as possible around you. You finding out would be his worst nightmare.

Ranboo realises he has absolutely no history in the dating department and desperately needs some guidance. He may ask Phil on a whim who would try his best to give the poor panicked boy some words of wisdom. Ranboo takes the advice to heart immediately, promising Phil he will update him on how his feelings for you turn out.

Ranboo finds himself writing about you in one of his many journals. He finds putting words on the page seems to help clear his mind. He tries to script his confession a few times. Desperately floundering to find the right words, but he always seems to fall short. He usually ends up scribbling all over those pages until you can barely tell someone had even written on them. Hoping to somehow erase the thoughts in the process.  

He even tries drawing you a few times when he finds himself with enough spare time. He doesn’t think they’re any good though. Sure, the sketches look like you, but they don’t make him feel the way you do. When he looks at the page his chest doesn’t tighten because of your beauty, but instead because of the way you’ve made him feel. Which he comes to the sad conclusion is something he simply cannot capture in his words or his drawings. He has to show it through his actions. Not exactly his strong suit. But he’s determined to do right by you. So, he devises a plan.

- Confessing to you - 

This boy plans the whole day down to a t, he has multiple back-up plans just in case his first one falls short.

Ranboo invites you over for lunch. Arriving at his place you notice how clean it is. He spent the last few days cleaning it top to bottom.

You spend a few minutes in the house chatting. You notice Ranboo is on edge almost immediately. Shoulders a pinch too tight, his smiles a little too wide and none of them reach his eyes.

You ask what you’re going to be having for lunch and he reveals a wicker basket from his kitchen. “A picnic!” Your heart warms, “I would’ve brought something if you’d told me beforehand.” He smiles at that, “Exactly. I even cooked without you, you should be proud.” 

He shuffles on his feet a little, wishing to be praised, “We’ll see how the food tastes first, maybe then I’ll tell you how proud I am.” You tease, moving to elbow him lightly. You notice the way his face flushes as you move into his space. His mother appears from upstairs, “Are you two leaving? I could drive you, y’know!” “No thanks mom!!” He is quick to grab your hand and practically drag you out of the house and away from his all knowing mom.

The bus ride is on the longer side and you find yourself feeling brave enough to scoot a little closer to Ranboo. “Hey, is it okay if I?” You gesture between your head and his shoulder, the cute, shocked expression he sends you causes you to grin. “Uh s-sure!” 

You softly press your head against his shoulder, “Thanks, pretty comfy shoulder you got here should’ve asked you to share it sooner.” You tease, nuzzling his shoulder lightly just for a reaction. And you get one alright, his skin goes such a lovely shade of red all the way up to the tips of his ears. You giggle softly, trying your best to hold it in and failing miserably.

You even manage to fall asleep despite your own heartbeat quickening at Ranboo’s closeness. You are tapped awake by him, “Hmm?” You rub one of your eyes knowingly appearing adorable and the way he looks at you makes it all worth it. “It’s our stop soon, we gotta get up.” 

You nod and lazily stand and he follows suit. Only for the bus to brake abruptly, promptly shoving you into his chest. He wraps his arms around you quickly to steady you whilst you desperately cling to the wicker basket, “You okay?” You both mumble to each other before laughing it off and nodding. “Oh crap.” Ranboo grabs your free hand and you both scramble to get to the front of the bus to hop off. Sparks fly up your arm at the extended contact, even as you jump off the bus.

Ranboo happily leads you to a spot he had picked out earlier in the month. A soft patch of grass below a large willow tree that now sways softly in the warm breeze. You set up your carefully packaged feast with haste now that your stomachs are grumbling.

Ranboo forcefully tries to make himself relax knowing you’ve probably noticed his tense state by now. But you choose not to push him on it, taking an educated guess on why he’s so stressed.

You are quick to compliment his cooking skills when he divvies out a freshly baked quiche.  Even though you know his mom for sure did most of the work. It’s the thought that counts. You hope that may snap him out of the stupor he seems to be in. However, no such luck.

“Hey Ranboo, do you want to talk about something?” Ranboo goes into full panic mode. He did not have a plan for you asking something like this. He thought you weren’t confrontational!! You watch as his expression changes rapidly. You look away, “You don’t have to tell me, it’s okay. I just thought you might want to-“ 

He takes one of your hands in his. Why is he doing this??? This isn’t part of the plan at all! “I…” His throat goes dry. All those hours obsessing over what he was going to say to you are sent out the window when he finally meets your eyes.

“I think I like you.” He hasn’t realised he’s even said it until its waaaaaay too late. Your eyes widen, you didn’t think he’d actually admit it to you. You squeeze his hand as you watch his eyes seem to lose focus, “I like you too.” He is silent for several long moments until he starts blinking rapidly, “Huh!?” The look of utter surprise on his face causes you to burst out laughing.

“Wait, wait, wait you’re serious?” He grabs your arm as a grin slowly starts to creep onto his face. “Sure am.” And as you meet his gaze you realise that his grin actually reached his eyes, for the first time in a long while. 

“So, you gonna kiss me now or what?” You tease as his face shines a dark red. “W-well I, uh-“ His stuttering only allows for you to sneak closer and press a firm kiss to his cheek. Somehow, he grows even redder and you sigh pleasantly. “My heart definitely made the right choice with you Ranboo.”

Meanwhile Ranboo is too busy freaking out over the fact that you weren’t even meant to find out he liked you until you were stargazing together later tonight. His plans are utterly ruined! But as you squeeze his hand again to bring his thoughts back into the present, he wonders that perhaps spontaneity isn’t such a bad thing sometimes.

~My ask box is always open if you’ve got any requests or just want to vent about the dreamsmp lore!~

[kazooyacraft]

*coughs in lesbian techza + sappho and her friend*

Lesbian woman Phil x Lesbian woman Techno (feel free to headcanon them as trans or genderbent cis or what have you)

Philza and Technoblade are immortal anarchist wives. It's that last bit that no one ever seems to realize on the Dream SMP. Even when they tell people, it somehow gets taken so incorrectly that they don't think the two are even in a relationship.

Philza has gotten a little... peeved to say the least. And she's decided to make her displeasure known. If they can't connect two and two and get four, she'll channel every spiteful inch of her body into mocking them until they catch on.

She plays into it, calling Techno things like her "gal pal" and "old friend". When anyone asks about their living arrangements, she's happy to tell them she and Techno are "roommates". She takes the name Sappho as her Syndicate codename.

When Techno sees the name she chose, she laughs but wisely doesn't say anything in front of the other members when her wife shoots her a look. Niki also quirks an eyebrow, but keeps quiet on the matter. Ranboo looks on, silent but oblivious to the joke hanging in the air.

It all comes to a head in the middle of their next war. The Egg's death cries still fill the air, Dream was broken out of prison by a certain new player, and Las Nevadas is out for their blood, but the Syndicate along with Tommy, Wilbur, and Tubbo are holed up safely in the Syndicate's meeting room. Tensions are a little high, there's plenty of battles in the immediate future, but they've started to repair the rifts in their relationships. Wilbur and Niki's relationship will never be as it used to be, Philza will never forget the feeling of killing his son, Tommy will never see Techno in battle quite the same way again, and none of their scars will fully disappear, but they're recovering together and finding a new normal.

Tommy and Tubbo are poking around the room. Tubbo's the one to find the codename plaques and start reading them off.

"Sappho?" he reads, "Isn't she a really old poet?"

"Oh I heard of her!" Tommy says, "She married a guy called Dick from Man Island. The manliest man I've ever heard of. Why would you be named after her, Philza?"

Around them the room erupts in laughter. Even Philza can't help but laugh at that. Techno's leaned over the table gasping for breath. Niki is giggling and trying to reassure Ranboo that nothing's wrong, but can't catch her breath enough to do so. Even Wilbur's laughing. He looked a bit confused then realization lit up his face before he descended into the same bellyaching laugh Philza has.

"What did I say? C'mon Wilbur, tell me what's so funny," Tommy whines.

Finally, Wilbur's laughter subsides and he says, "Tommy, you know Philza is my Mumza, right?" 

"Of course I know that. I know everything about Philza. Philza Minecraft is so brave. The bravest lady ever made."

"Well, Technoblade is my other mum."

There's absolute silence for approximately half a second.

"WHAT?!" Tommy erupts. Even Tubbo and Ranboo look surprised though Ranboo looks just a tad more embarrassed than the other two as he pulls out his memory book and starts flipping through the pages. (He lets out a sigh of relief when he finds the notes that say "strong gaydar vibes. possibly married? keep making gay ‘old friends’ jokes. 10/10 protective babysitters." At least he's not completely oblivious.) Tommy rounds on Techno and Philza. "But you two aren’t married?" 

"Mate," Philza laughs, "We've been married for 400 years." 

"WHAT?! Why is everyone getting married without telling me?!"