#Pickling Tips & Tricks

[thatsbelievable]

[familytubem]

Quick & Easy Pickled Cucumber Recipe! 🥒 #PickledCucumber #FamilyFoodTutorials #viralvideo

[kitchenwitchtingss]

50 KITCHEN WITCH TIPS TO MAKE YOU FEEL MORE WITCHY

(And other useful things I've learned over the years)

Hi! This is a list of dos, don'ts, tips, tricks, and other fun things that I've learned over the years. I always love finding more effective and efficient ways of doing things so if you have any cool things you'd like to add, leave them in the comments or reblog. I'd love to read it.

Anyways... On with the list ^_^

Light candles around your kitchen space (just make sure nothing flammable is near you)

Annotate your cookbooks with the correspondence of the ingredients.

Mediating is really good to calm the mind before cooking.

Cut oranges and lemons thinly, dry them, and hang them with twine around your kitchen

Need a cleansing tip? Open all your windows near your kitchen. Let some fresh air in.

Cutting sigils into apples, pie crusts, and carved potatoes.

Save lemon and orange rinds, freeze them, and then use them to clean the garbage disposal.

Make infused oils and honey: Things like garlic honey, lavender honey, herb oil, sun oil, moon oil, dandelion oil, and other different edible oils are very fun and useful to make.

Hid sigils in pages of your cookbooks and kitchen witch journals.

Add some plants! Snake plants and spider plants don't need too much light, and growing your own herbs in your kitchen is awesome too. Basil, lavender, thyme, aloe vera, rosemary, etc. are good fits. You could also add some plants that require more sunlight on the kitchen window sill. Like cacti and succulents.

Bring crystals into your kitchen space such as rose quartz, clear quartz, amethyst, or whatever you want the space's intentions to be.

I keep a small money tree on the sill, along with cacti for luck and protection.

Make a simmer Pot! Mostly because it makes the whole house smell good, easy, and fun.

Stir clockwise for best results!

Learning how to pickle things is actually pretty witchy. Plus, anyone could do it as it requires absolutely no kitchen experience. You could pickle any vegetable, even if you don't like pickles. I originally learned this after having to take shelter from a natural disaster. A person brought a bunch of stuff and taught us how to pickle things with different spices and herbs. Very fun!

Decorate your kitchen with your favorite stuff. Crystals, decor, heat mits, that cool mushroom cake stand you've been eyeing at the World Market for the past 2 weeks, cool looking curtains, sun catchers. Why stop there? Paint the walls, hang shelves full of marked-up cookbooks that are a little too well-loved and thumbed through.

Wanna be the person that has the amazing-smelling house every time people come over? Syrups take some time to simmer down, it's actually a pretty good time to leave it on the stove to simmer. Since syrups have a lot of aromatic ingredients, it acts as a really good-smelling simmer pot.

Hang up herbs to dry with twine from cabinets that are rarely used.

Invest in that new set of plates and cups.

Homemade jams, butter, sauces, and syrups are your best friend.

Crochet or knit your own dish rags, pot holders, etc.

Don't pour extremely hot things into a glass that's not Pyrex, it will break, and you will be very sad about it.

Don't cook anything while extremely upset or emotional (For safety reasons)

Make recipes you want to make, not just because you'll like the effect. Make it because you think it's tasty.

Chinese Five Spice works in place of herbs for protection and luck spells a lot of the time! It's cheaper to buy 1 spice than 4 different spices that total up to 15 dollars when you could just spend 3-4 dollars.

Take a shower before cooking (I don't know how to explain this one other than it makes you feel better)

Don't use microfiber/plastic material clothes on hot burners, it will fuse to the burner and melt. It is VERY hard to get off.

I don't know if I need to put this one but I did see someone do it so nonstick pan = wooden utensils and plastic utensils, metal pan = metal utensils. Do not use a metal spoon in a nonstick pan, please. It can make you very sick.

Keep your pets away from hot oil, open ovens, and hot pans.

You can proof bread dough in the fridge overnight if you don't have the time to bake, or want to eat fresh bread right in the morning.

Need a quick witchy meal for dinner in 12 minutes? Use premade tomato pasta sauce and doctor it up with thyme, rosemary, and garlic, for protection and distilling stagnant energies. Serve with pasta of your liking.

You can substitute Butter for Crisco/shortening, buttermilk for 1 cup of milk + 1 tbsp apple cider vinegar or lemon juice, and heavy cream for 1 cup of half and half plus 2 tbsp of butter.

Use leftover animal bones to make bone broth

Teach yourself the art of bread scoring (It's fun, and you can show it off to your loved ones!)

Collect and hoard your own and others' family recipes.

Sometimes the food doesn't have to be a spell, sometimes it just makes you feel good and you don't know why.

Listen to your favorite music in the kitchen, it makes the monotonous things like chopping veggies move faster.

Invest in a vegetable chopper if you don't like chopping vegetables.

Find a really good hot cocoa recipe and make it once a week. Master it. Just for your own happiness because hot cocoa is really good. You could also be the friend/family member that makes the best hot cocoa ever.

Focaccia Bread Lasts a very long time, and it's very easy to make!

Keep a first aid kit near where the oven is, in case of burns, cuts, or serious injuries where time is everything.

Quick Bread and no-rise loaves are simple for beginners, tasty, and take little time. They also feel very witchy to make.

Study a bit of Herbalism! It's fun and really helps better understand the herbs you're putting into your food.

While something is boiling, put your wooden spoon over the pot to minimize the chance of something boiling over.

Try a bit of coffee magick, it's simple to get into, and gives you a boost of energy to take on the day!

If you're over 21, wine-making is a very interesting way to celebrate the sabbats. Just with that, make sure you KNOW what you're doing. With anything fermented, there's always a risk if you don't store things correctly. Apple wines, strawberry wines, dandelion wines, etc. all very cool to experiment with. If you're not over 21, vinegar is a similar way to experiment.

Hang up some witchy things, sigils, photos, cool magnets, and other things that give you joy on your fridge. (Sometimes if you are lucky they have some fun magnets at five below)

If you live in the US, for some reason, there are a lot of books in the book section dedicated to witchcraft and spirituality. At least where I live. And they are all under 5 dollars!

Teas are the cheapest and easiest things you can practice being a kitchen witch.

[sweetimpurity]

[❤︎] day 26!! taking a break from our Mig vs Miguel series until the poll is over! wc: 1023 [❤︎]

Ever since he knocked you up, he can’t stay away. It’s like his hands are magnetized to your body, touching you, holding you. You’re only a few months along, not a super big bump yet, but you’re just so adorable he can’t help himself. Rubbing his hands up your sides, squeezing your hips in his fingers. Pregnancy has made you even more soft and squishy. Snuggling with you is even more enjoyable if that’s even possible. You seem to just melt into him, molding to his chest and in his arms. 

And he dotes on you like nothing else. Your back hurts? He’s helping you to lay down or getting your heating pad. You’re hungry? He’s whipping up the most delicious snacks, always following your cravings and knowing exactly what you want. Sometimes you think he can read your mind. You’re tired? He’s laying beside you, running his finger down the bridge of your nose as he holds you, soothing you to sleep. And if you’re horny. He’s on you, making you moan, hitting all the right spots. 

Ever since you entered the second trimester and your libido spiked, it’s like you want his cock all the time and he can’t complain. The first trimester, you were feeling really gross. Not sexy at all. And Miguel resorted to many other methods of intimacy that didn’t rely on the physical. He’d be happy to do whatever you need as long as you’re comfortable. But then one day you told him you needed to be fucked. Best day of his fucking life. 

“Mig, I want you…” 

The words leave your lips and he’s turning from the kitchen counter where he was preparing your usual snack of green apples and pickles. Looking back at you with wide eyes, seeing you stand there like a lost pregnant puppy in the doorway, thinking he must have misheard. Maybe it’s his mind playing tricks. Since he can’t get enough of your body and wants you so bad all the time, especially when you’re swollen with his baby. But he hasn't been able to have you in months. “Y-you’re snack is almost ready, baby…” 

You pout, looking in his eyes. He’s getting hard from the intoxicating mixture of your words and that look on your face. He didn’t misunderstand.“Wait you-”

“No, I wanna have sex, please… I’m not hungry anymore…” You say, scratching the side of your nose and sniffling. The chronic stuffy nose you always seem to have since being pregnant. He doesn’t know what to say. You’re requesting it like it’s the same as the apple slices on the kitchen marble. “Ok…” He hums, his voice a weak vibration. Like he can’t even speak. You’re a vision like this, and he’s at your beck and call, of course.

“Tell me what you want baby…” He breathes out near your ear, spooning you from behind in bed, the afternoon sun shining over the bed and blankets. Lying this way because you’re too tired to be on top and you’re too big for him to be over you. His fingers guiding his hardened dick through your sweet pussy, your slick coating over his tip. He presses kisses to your neck, your cheek, the smell of your skin like a drug. He’s been needy for so long but never said anything for your sake.

“Need you inside, babe…” You huff softly, eyes closed. He practically bursts at your request. It’s not even just that you want to have sex, it’s like your body is telling you, you need to be full of him, that you need him inside you now. And it’s been weeks since he’s touched you like this, weeks since he vowed to himself he’d not ask you for sex, only wait until you came to him so he knew you’d be feeling up for it. Not forcing yourself into discomfort to please him.

“Of course, amor…” He says, his voice a warm whisper against your neck. Reaching his arm in front of you now and rubbing a big hand over your baby bump, your beautiful belly full of his baby girl, the product, evidence of your love and devotion to one another, down to your bundle of aching nerves. Pushing his tip through your folds and slipping inside you, achingly slow, filling you out so nicely as always. Hearing you hum and huff in relief. Finding your clit and rubbing in small controlled circles, trying to ease the stretch and get you wetter for him. “Good, baby?” 

“Mmmmmm…” You hum and moan, bending your back and arching against him, causing him to push further in. Satisfying that ache to be full, your head tilting onto the pillow in relief and his lips soon to follow on your jaw. Drawing his hips back and pumping back in slowly, filling you up even more that time. “Ohh-mgh…” 

Your moans fill his ears, your fingers finding his hair and tangling in the strands. He works up a rhythm, pumping in and out of you. Slow enough to be gentle but fast enough to satisfy you. To bring you closer and closer to climax. Your hormones put that need in you. The need to come and gush, filled with his cock, his seed.

Kissing over your shoulder, his hand goes up over your belly again, up to your full round breasts, a big hand clasping over the mound and applying the slightest of pressure. But you keen in soft protest. “Mmt-that hurts…” You whisper, nose scrunching up slightly. 

“Oh love, I’m sorry…” He hums, realizing, letting the pressure off your swollen sensitive breast and opting to cradle your belly under his arm instead. “‘m sorry mi amor… is that better?” 

“Mhmm” You sigh, soothed with his kisses of apology to your cheek, still buzzing and tingling from having him inside you. The friction, the fullness, it’s all so satisfying. He keeps up the rhythm, out of breath and working to get you there. All for you, only you. 

The squish of his dick through your slick fills the room until you’re grasping his forearm, clenching around him and gushing on his cock. Eyes fluttering and lungs filling with gasps of breath. And when you come down, he’s wrapped around you so smug and warm, holding you like something so rare and precious, irreplaceable. Because you are.

Taglist!! love my sweeties!

@spooky-sculder

@slushycoookie @xxyaoi-nationxx @snails-doodles22 @scaryplanetdestroyer @fate13

@divorcepaperz @yeahnohoneybye @zaunsin @tomalymme @drefear

@mrs-pondwater19 @saintdiior @aphinthestars @hyjionie

@palomanh @maxad99 @muuuwoppppp @reader-1290

@sp0ck136 @lazyninjaphilosopher

@pinkdizzyship @opalwitchart

if you'd like to be added/dropped from the taglist, please comment on my masterlist post. Or else I might not see it! thank you! 🩷

[dawnoflemuria]

♡a small collective of acts of love of a wide variety. It comes in many forms and isn't always truly apparent. Depending on personality, preferences, and mannerisms. Tried to make sure they're gender neutral & well balanced for the different tropes ♡

Helping them put on jewelery, a muted rosey hue tinting their cheeks as their fingertips graze the others skin.

Taking the others perspective into consideration when making big decisions. They don't want to upset or cross any lines the one they admire may have.

Respects any and all boundaries of their partner, even if they can't quite understand them. Is every patient with them, and will try to understand the best they can.

Gives specific gifts that will invoke the best reactions. They get so giddy when their partner or friends are happy.

will sing around them, even if not the greatest at it.

remembers the finest of detail about their partner. will even write it down if they fear they will forget it.

uplifts them whenever they are feeling low, encourages their dreams within reason so not to provide any false hopes.

will hold the other accountable for their own good and will also help solve any problems that arise because of said accountability.

packs things they know the other will likely forget when going on trips.

includes them in their favorite activities, showing them their own tips and tricks for it.

let's the other passionately ramble on about whatever has caught their attention, without judgment, and will engage regularly with questions or shared curiosity.

will record their favorite TV shows so when they visit they can still watch it if they want to.

shares their favorite books/songs/things together

platonic kisses and hugs

tidying shared spaces so the other doesn't have to worry about it

cooking together (bonus if they're learning a new recipe together)

very appreciative of the others' efforts (even if they fail. almost especially if they fail because at least they attempted for the good of their behalf)

will cover the other if they find them sleeping, and sometimes, will relocate them to a more comfortable location/position.

protective of the others' hopes/dreams/beliefs

stands up to anyone who threatens the other, even if unmatched. How dare someone think they have the right to insult someone so close to them without consequences?

avoids topics in conversation that make the other uncomfortable or irritable when possible.

buys them things that they've noticed has piqued their other's attention or that they might need.

is the "HE SAID NO PICKLES" type of friend/significant other.

takes the time to look into and learn about things that interests the other, even if they don't quite enjoy it to the same degree. Likes to be able to engage with them about anything possible.

lighthearted teasing to make the other smile.

holding the others' sleeves when drowsy, or needy.

makes secret wishes on stars for the others' hopes to come true.

subconsciously straightens the others' attire or accessories. somehow, it became second nature to them.

making the other their "only exception" for just about anything.

letters of appreciation

writes a song/scripture/book inspired by the other

dedicated their achievements to their partnership and expressed their gratitude for their role in their life

might get angry when the other endangers themselves but apologises when they realize it isn't helping. They don't mean to snap. They just scared their soul for a second. Don't do that. They can't bear to see/let it happen.

invited the other to family events, even expects them to show up so makes sure to have enough for them too.

randomly brings the other food to ensure they are properly eating

casually "accidentally" orders things and "happens" to think the other would like them.

crafts the other trinkets or art

patiently hears the other out no matter what. Even if it's hard to hear because they want to fully understand.

Disbelieves rumors that damage the others' reputation and will set the record straight if possible. Will always let the other know if something is brewing and offer a solution (How they go about it is dependent on the character)

sends the other messages whenever they're thinking of them or remembers something they know the other will reminisce with them over.

takes care of the other to the best of their ability (pampering/caretaker/gaurdian)

learns a new language so that they can better communicate with the other if they're not fluent in their tongue.

quick to give the benefit of the doubt to the other, even if they know it might not turn out how they hope. They want to only see the good if they can.

[ghostytoad]

hey!! if you’re taking requests, i’d like to request the rottmnt boys falling for a fem! reader who’s basically like your stereotypical raph. she loves fighting, loves working out, loud asf, short-tempered, blunt, sarcastic, cursed with resting bitch face, all that jazz. but, once you get to know her, she’s actually really funny and sweet. NEVER afraid to speak her mind, so she may come across as rude or sassy at times, but she never really means to be. DEFINITELY has mild adhd and is on the autism spectrum. 🫶

Hfhdks yippe, my v first request!! tbh the boys can use a little extra chaos in their life so this was really fun to write abt. hopefully it's decent, i'm still v new to writing this kinda stuff!!

* Kiss with a Fist *

ROTTMNT Boys x Fem! Raph-esque reader who is secretly a sweet softie

Summary: The Hamato brothers unexpectedly fall for an intimidating, snappy, but secretly sincere human.

Headcanons for: Raph, Donnie, Leo, & Mikey

Fem! Reader; Romantic; Fluff; Mild violence || Words: 4k

Feel free to send in more requests and prompts!!

Raph:

to be honest, raph was initially intimidated and wary of y/n when they first met

like sure, he's used to his brothers being a bit too curt and impulsive and april can come off as sassy and overbearing but none of that compares to the levels y/n is on

something about how forward she can be really puts the poor turtle on edge

until he starts getting to know her a little better, finding out more about her hobbies and all

after a period of initial surprise, he starts getting used to y/n's presence in the lair

she fits in almost naturally in their family dynamic; she's basically one of them now and he loves having someone around who shares his interests

plus he could always use a workout buddy; not that his brothers aren't good spotters but he could always use a break from their antics

will take y/n to every wrestling event & spend the entire time gushing about his newest wrestling idol and when they're not out and about beating up bad guys or playing video games, he will allow y/n to sit in and spot him while he powers through his rigorous workouts

he enjoys being able to swap workout tips and tricks with y/n; treats every little bit of advice she gives as divine wisdom & he will take it all to heart

he likes to brag to his brothers about how strong y/n is, especially considering that she can keep up with his mutant abilities; everything she does impresses him to no end

opened a jar of pickles without help? amazing

landed on her feet after a pretty high tumbling jump? absolutely incredible

being able to handle his occasional hugs? literally the best thing in the world to him

having y/n around motivates raph to train harder and push himself past his limits

unfortunately, this has led to a few injuries-

"uh oh. y/n ain't gonna be happy to hear about this..."

cue the scolding, the lectures, and the bedrest. y/n's orders. but raph secretly enjoys being doted on by y/n so he won't say no

it didn't take raph too long to realize his feelings for y/n

he'd been picking up on little hints here and there, but he'd talk himself out of that silly train of thought every single time

like when he'd catch her watching him train and could feel that rush of heat burn at his cheeks

'i've just been training too hard and it's way too hot in here'

and when he couldn't get y/n off his mind when she wasn't around?

'i'm just worried about her is all. who knows what kinda trouble her loud mouth might get her in-'

but it was when y/n was comforting raph after a bust mission one particular night that really did him in and confirmed his feelings

It's bad enough when the brothers fail in their latest mission, but to get their butts handed to them by Hypno of all villains? Eesh, talk about major humiliation stink. The loss had them all silently slinking back into their lair, hoping to sleep off the defeat at the hands of their unimpressive foe. Raph was just about to make his way into his room to mop when he spotted Y/N waiting up for them in the lair's living room. It was upon seeing her sitting there with an unreadable, stern expression that a realization hit him. They had plans later.

"Hey, sorry, YN. No Brunch 'n Punch tonight. Raph's a lil' tired..." his low and gruff voice did little to hide the timid air in his tone. "I-I'll make it up to ya though! Promise!"

Despite his stuttered attempt to console Y/N and her anticipated disappointment, his tired expression and wilted posture gave away just how exhausted and downtrodden the towering mutant was. It was more than enough to tell Y/N a few things:

Raph had another rough day.

Raph once again pushed himself and got hurt.

And Raph needed someone to help carry that weight.

Before he could continue his defeated shuffle past Y/N, he felt a sudden tug on the lip of his rugged shell. Not even a second after, he felt his torso being enveloped by the subtle warmth of what could only be a person. Was Y/N hugging him...? Looking down from his stunned silence, he found Y/N with her arms wrapped tightly around his waist, face hidden by the jutting ridges of his plastron. Unable to find the words to break the tense silence surrounding them, Raph simply lets out a low chuckle as his hand gently caresses the back of Y/N's head.

"If this is about me bailing on our plans, Raph gets it. You probably hate m-"

"What am I gonna do with you, Raph...? What am I going to do if you won't take care of yourself..." Y/N's voice was unusually small.

"Say what?" The mutant didn't know what to make of the wavering tone in Y/N's voice. Was she mad? Was she worried? It was unlike Y/N to be this... vulnerable.

After a few more moments of silence, Raphael broke out of his confusion with a realization. Y/N was still holding him. The exhaustion and shame began lifting its shrouding curse off of him as his body eased into the comforting embrace. So warm. So gentle. So caring. Everything about Y/N was perfect, even the parts of her personality that she chose to share only with him. It was then that another, more pressing realization came to his mind.

Damn, does this boy got it bad. He's in love.

Donnie

he's entirely put off by y/n's whole demeanor and keeps his distance at first; like raph on his own can be a headache to deal with, but now there's two of them??

he won't outright avoid her, he just prefers quieter company

he can't exactly say they share many similar interests, but y/n's newfound spot as a member of his little family gives him incentive to at least try finding some common ground to bond over

so when it comes to the more physical and brawn-heavy aspect of his work, he can truly appreciate y/n's constant presence

god knows he can't trust his brothers to be careful or attentive enough to help him in the lab and april isn't always around to enthusiastically offer her assisstance when needed... but y/n just happens to be the perfect solution to his otherwise frustrating problem

dare he say it: "she's reliable and more importantly always happy to lend a hand"

and donnie really values the way y/n is willing to listen to him drone on about his latest projects and mapping out his complex thought process; all with very little complaint (a huge plus for him!)

in fact, she even seems eager to learn and is quick to pick up on the nuances of his work. he can also understand/empathize with y/n's misunderstood demeanor when it comes to her stone faced expression ('or resting bitch face, as she so eloquently put it')

donnie's never been good at expressing himself; he knows how vexing it can be when everyone seems intent on misreading one's emotions based on something as fickle as facial expression

and the more time donnie spends with y/n, the more he's able to observe her and her subtle mannerisms

it's gotten to the point where he can pick up on her subtle cues and accurately read her mood better than anyone else. to his brothers, it's as if y/n and donnie share a telepathic connection with how easily they can communicate with a simple glance

it doesn't take long for him to get used to y/n's more rambunctious and wild behaviors; when he's not busy working, he will sometimes invite her on their less eventful missions and adventures

he won't say it out loud, but he's really come to respect y/n's combat prowess and her ability to hold her own

admires it even... one might even say he lov-

'nope. no. nein. not the l-word...'

donnie's always quick to catch himself before he can finish off that thought but he can't help himself; cute and mean are just his type after all

whether or not he chooses to pursue those feelings though....

well, let's just say y/n really didn't leave him a choice after she practically saved his life during one fairly unexpected encounter

It hadn't been a hard mission. The Hamato brothers had successfully thwarted another run-of-the-mill robbery at the appropriately named Run of the Mill Pizzeria. Relishing in their triumph, the four turtles, joined by their newest companion Y/N, decided to make a night of it and order a few celebratory 'zzas. It was as Donnie was making his way to the booth that he was halted by the stumbling grip of an iebriated yokai yanking him back by his shoulder. The patron's swaying form crumpled forward as they tried supporting their full weight on the hand that was still firmly locked on Donnie's shoulder.

"'Ey you.... I know you..." the strong stench of alcohol burned at the turtle's nostrils as he furrowed his brow in confusion, "Yer the guy from that brawl last night. Ya dropped my drink!"

Ah. Mistaken identity. Before Donnie could correct them, the yokai straightened in a menacing stance, lifting their hand's grip from him and balling into a fist.

"You... YOU! You owe me a new drink AND a new shirt! Ya ruined MY GOOD SHIRT!"

Ever the smug one, Donnie simply shook his head and with condescension dripped from his lazy grin.

"Perhaps laying off on the booze might help to improve your memory. You're clearly looking for a fight and I'm not one to hold back in battle." With a wave of his hand, he feigned a dramatic sigh, "But I'd reconsider what would be one too many bar fights. I mean, you've obviously done your brain enough damage."

What followed was the unmistakable and resounding thud of a body hitting the restaurant walls. The remaining brothers watched amusedly from their booth as the purple-coded brother peeled from the newly dented wall and collapsed onto the floor, dumbfounded and only mildly in pain.

"He'll be fine~" Leo mused as he caught sight of Y/N's horrified expression.

"He was kinda askin' for it..." Raph shrugged, unwilling to stop Y/N who was now stomping a warpath from the booth to the drunken offender.

"HEY, ASSHOLE!" were the only words uttered before Y/N's flurry of furious punches unleashed themselves onto the yokai's face. Donnie watched fondly as Y/N's strike after strike seemed to reduce the belligerent patron to a pathetic and unintelligable mess on the floor.

Something about her pose, the way her bruised fists were held up in triumphant victory as she loomed over the monster's unconscious form, seemed to pull at the deepest, darkest parts of the turtle's heart. Was she always this badass and cool? Was it the lighting? Was it the concussion setting in? Has she always looked this cute?

"Wow... You're incredible....." Donnie muttered under his breath with awe.

So much for science being his only love.

Leo:

honestly? the more chaos, the better

raph is great and all, but he always had the annoying tendency to boss everyone around, and his ever-growing worry chasm was really starting to irk leo

so it's great to have someone around that isn't always on his case about his stunts or lecture him on dull things like responsibility and duty and all

while he does take into account the fact that Y/N is a human, she's a special human with special priviliges in his mind; meaning open invites to every mission (no matter how dangerous) and her own front row seat to every single convoluted plan leo's made

he's always there to actively enable her loud habits, he just lives for the banter and drama; he calls it his very own telenovela

obviously he'd never let her get too far into it and when things start getting a little too real, he will try getting y/n to tone down the snark and deescalate the situation

can't have his new bestie getting herself into trouble after all! and he'd never hear the end of it from his brothers if she ever got hurt bc of his encouragement

as boring as he finds training to be, having y/n around really helps to spice things up. he's always calling dibs on having her for sparring partner duties and won't hold back much

on the rare occasion that he's not getting into trouble and causing mischief with y/n, he'll show her around all the best stargazing spots new york has to offer (via portal ofc)

no reason in particular, it's just nice getting to see the stars past the haze of the city's light pollution and it seems like something friends do

'it's totally normal for friends to stargaze alone together, right?'

yeah, no he's sure of it. he just really happens to enjoy y/n's company without the constant interruption of his brothers' teasing

it's not like he's asked her to go with him on a magic carpet ride or anything

oh wait...

right, there was that one time when they decided to stop by the mystic city antiques shop and try out the dubiously named "magic carpet" the shop was selling. how was he supposed to know it was a flying magic carpet?? magic could literally mean anything!

he didn't complain when y/n would hold onto him as they weaved through the skies of the hidden city. and it was cute watching her face scrunch up with laughter every time he made a joke

but that's just friends being friends, right??

'this better not be what being wrong feels like because it's not a great feeling at all'

"Alright, Leo. This'd better be good for you to be calling me up at 3 in the morning." April's voice hissed through the call, still rough with sleep and irritation as Leo had called her up on a school night of all times.

Leo gripped tightly at the phone as if it were his only line of defense from the terrible, terrible ordeal he was about to confide. "Apes, you gotta help me! I think I might be losing my edge or something."

"Your... what?"

"My edge!" Leo reiterated, panic set in his tone, "My mojo! The Leo-factor! I think I might be losing it and I don't know how to get it back!"

A few moments of soft shuffling sounding from the phone's receiver met Leo's frantic explanation. April must've been slowly forcing herself to sit up from where she'd been sleeping peacefully only minutes ago.

"... don't 've time for this..." was all that could be deciphered between shuffles.

The disgruntled girl could only sigh, "Okay. Leo. What makes you think you've 'lost your mojo'?"

Leo paused in thought, humming low as he tried to recall his recent mojo-related blunders.

"Okay, okay, so! You know how Y/N's been hanging around the lair a lot more lately? It's like every time she's there, I get thrown off my game. And I mean, I really get thrown off! With everything!"

"Mhm?" April deadpanned.

"None of my one-liners seem to land with her and it's because I keep forgetting how to talk mid-sentence! So I end up sounding like some stuttering moron! And I keep running into things and tripping over my own feet when I see her like I'm the clumsiest chump alive. And just the other night I was out testing the sickest tricks on Mikey's new board- don't let him know that by the way- when she shows up outta nowhere with her smug little smile and throws me off my moves! I mean, all I see is her eyes on me and the next thing I know, I've got a mouthful of gravel and concrete. It's like she's sapping all the cool out of me and I need it to stop like yesterday!" Leo had to take a moment to catch his breath as he explained his troubling situation, clearly unaware of just how clueless he was. April could only wait silently for the information to sink in, a sleepy scowl painted on her face. God, she could just strangle the boy if he were here.

"So you're telling me that you called me up in the middle of the night to tell me that you have a crush?" she hissed once again, the gritting of her teeth audible.

"A what? Crush? Oho, no no no no." the mutant scoffed in disbelief, "I'm telling you that Y/N could be a witch or some kind of energy vampire or something and we-"

"Leo, let me ask you something. What's more likely: The fact that Y/N is a mojo-sucking vampire witch or the fact that you may have some feelings for her?"

The thought hadn't really occured to him before. Could it really be something as simple as a crush that's doing him in? He had been feeling a little different as of late... But he just assumed it was all from the mutant witch powers Y/N might've been using on him. He took a few moments to contemplate, a dark blush gradually forming across his face the more he thought of Y/N.

Well, what's not to like about her? She's a certified badass, she's cool, she's never afraid to give it to ya straight. And underneath that tough exterior was an equally cool but much softer version that balanced out Leo's more impulsive and emotional side. Could it really be that Leo had feelings for Y/N?

".... Do you think Donnie can run a few tests to find out what kind of witch she is?"

"I'm hanging up now, Leo."

"NO, WAIT, I-" Dial tone.

Crush it is then. Man, did he hate being wrong.

Mikey:

ever the eternal optimist, mikey is never one to judge people and gives them every benefit of the doubt until he's forced to believe otherwise

so when he first meets y/n, he takes to her standoffish nature like bees on honey

instant besties right off the bat, even if they have their differences

he's quick to introduce y/n to everything mutant turtle life has to offer, whether it be inviting her over for a few rides on the half-pipe or introducing her to the cinematic magic that is jupiter jim and its many sequels

no matter what they do, he's always there to make sure she's having fun

mikey picks up on y/n's kinder side pretty quickly too

being emotionally intuitive and a self-proclaimed therapist, he is able to see through y/n's more abrasive personality and finds her gentler side to be just as exciting and fun, if not incredibly endearing

he'll even encourage her to be more open with that part of herself by insisting she join him in his little Dr. Feelings sessions he regularly holds for his brothers (totally not against their will)

during the whole session, he'll check in on y/n and ask if she has any thoughts on the matter

"what about you, y/n? you've been around us long enough to get a say. am i right or am i totally right?"

he knows he can trust her more blunt and forward nature to lay it down as it is

but he can also trust that she won't say anything to hurt them just for the sake of it

so she's a perfect fit for the role of Nurse Candid/Assisstant Tough Love

funny thing is, Dr. Feelings can't really talk mikey out of making a fool of himself in front of y/n

he tries not to be too clingy or push too many boundaries, but how can he resist?

she's like the highlight of his little adventures and he genuinely enjoys having her around all the time that he just *needs* to understand every part of what makes y/n her

together, they'd make the ultimate power couple!

er... power couple business-wise

purely professional in this unofficial practice

'unless.....'

time for the Love Doctor to pay mikey a little visit

"Candles? Check. Fancy silverware? Check. A deliciously decadent three course meal prepared by your truly? Check." Mikey took a moment to look over his fine work as he finished setting up a "platonic-but-can-be-romantic" dinner for Y/N. He'd been hard at work all week trying to come up with the perfect excuse to invite Y/N to the lair alone. It wasn't a date or anything! Well really, that was the trouble with this whole thing. It had to strike the right balance of friendly and intimate. With a hint of romance drizzled in. And a sprinkle of platonic fun. Gah, what a confusing mix.

Sighing thoughtfully, the young turtle set down the two artistically prepared culinary plates on the now satin-draped dining table that sat in the center of the projection room. Sure, it might've been a bit cliche but the quiet ambiance of the room was the best choice for a romantic candlelit dinner. Plus if the whole romance angle didn't pan out the way Mikey had hoped, a movie marathon would surely break the tension and shift gears into friendly hangout mode. Everything about this night had been planned to a T, down to the fact that his brothers were busy on another patrol that was sure to take all night.

The orange-clad mutant gave the setup another quick once over and, satisfied with his creation, glanced up at the clock that sat above the projector screen.

"7:18 and I still got a few precious moments to spare!"

"Spare for what?" a muffled voice asked from the door.

Oh no. What were they doing here?!

"Hey hey, little brother~ Nice setup you got goin' here. Very élégante~" Leo teased with his mouth full of pizza.

"L-LEO?! I THOUGHT YOU GUYS SAID YOU WERE GONNA BE OUT UNTIL MORNING!"

"Uh, yeah? The patrol was supposed to keep us 'til morning." Leo shrugged nonchalantly as he licked pizza sauce from his fingers,"But as it turns out, Donnie isn't the math wizard he seems to think he is."

"SCOFF! My mathematical genius is not to be held accountable for YOUR poor planning!" From behind Leo, Donnie stormed in with an incredulous look as pizza sauce drenched his face and upper body.

"Look, if anything, MY PLAN did not call for explosives. That was all you, buddy!" The twin retorted, poking at Donnie's sauce-covered chest with his trusty odachi. Mikey could feel his right eye twitching as he watched the two bicker and consequently ruin his plans.

He seethed through gritted teeth, "You guys were supposed to be gone..."

The strained response brought the two brothers' attention back to their youngest sibling, both raising a brow in question.

"Oh yeah, what IS with this setup?" Leo's cocky smirk did little to hide the teasing behind his question. Did he know?

"Oi, guys! We still gotta clea-" Raph stumbled in, wiping his body down with a red soaked towel as he was presumably the most sauced up of the three. "Woah. Whatcha got going on in here, Mikey?"

Great. Just what he needed. As he did his best to keep his composure, all Michael could do was groan and slump down to his knees, withering with embarrassment before his brothers. "If you guys MUST KNOW, I had a very special night planned for me! I was gonna have a nice dinner with Y/N before you came back and messed with m-"

"Woah woah woah, are you telling me that my baby hermano has a date tonight?"

The heat suddenly rushed to Mikey's cheeks, taunting him and exposing his true motives to his brothers of all people. Raph and Leo compounded that humiliation with their slew of 'aww's and coos. Donnie simply gave his little brother an approving nod and thumbs up as the duo's teasing continued.

"I-It's not what it looks like, I swear!"

Oh, it absolutely was.

"It's not that I like her, I just-"

Want her to be mine.

"I just needed to figure out how I feel!"

But he already knew. He was hopelessly in love.

[steeltwigz]

Marsh teaches Pickle things such as the "you're being annoying and I'm mad at you so I'm gonna wave my arms around in the air so that you dissipate into a million atoms" tactic. I wanna write a short fic or comic or smth abt her having to teach Pickle tips and tricks for dating ghosts, maybe tomorrow tho

[lobautumny]

For anyone who might need this information, here are a couple tips for opening stubborn jars:

Temperature. Metal shrinks when it's cold and expands when it's hot. This means that quite literally, the hotter a metal lid on a glass jar is, the easier it is to open, and the colder it is, the harder it is to open. This is why jars that hang out in the fridge, like pickle or olive jars, tend to be so fucking stubborn. You can get them to ease up by a lot of you just run them under some warm water for 30-ish seconds. You're also able to do the same trick with a stubborn room-temperature jar and hot water.

Friction. More specifically, the friction between your hand and the lid. Skin is decently grippy, but it has its limits, especially on smooth metal, and if your hand is slipping at all while trying to open a jar, you're losing a lot of energy. An easy way to conserve most of that energy is to just put some cling wrap over the lid. This will massively increase the friction between you and the jar, letting you open the lid with substantially less force. This is also just a nice tip for those of you out there with particularly soft/delicate hand skin, like this toy has.

This toy hopes this information reaches someone who needs it.

[lars-n-drix]

F/o who learned the hard way not to make fun of your attempts to ask for help. ‘Now was that so difficult?’ They ask after it takes you eons to come up to them to open a jar of pickles. Trying every trick in the book; switching to the opposite hand, putting a cloth over it, tapping it with a knife…‘Yes, it actually fucking was.’ Your response tipping them off.

F/o who doesn’t let you leave, placing the jar on the side table and you on their lap. Wanting to right the wrong they just did. ‘No, no, no. You don’t have to divulge all your secrets but please tell me why it was difficult.‘ And they attentively listen to your response, asking how they can help. ‘Okay. Well, I’m sorry for how I originally reacted. Wasn’t kind of me.’ After y’all’s small chat, they let you go along your merry way after a parting kiss on the cheek.

[queerponcho]

Vanilla and lemon | drabble

a/n: Well- I guess i am posting something for the first time🤌🏽 I have no idea how posting on Tumblr like this works so i welcome any Tips and tricks if you have any lmao.

summary: You’re a vampire and are, once again, visiting the museum. But this time you forgot your blood-packs and cant seem to be able to leave. What’ll you do? Starve?…or help yourself to a bite of your favourite tour-guide…

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT AFTER THE CUT OFF PLEASE- i am not responsible for what kinda content you consume on the internet but i don’t wanna get blocked or reported so pls be warned this work is NSFW.

Vampire!female!reader x Steven Grant

Warnings: no use of your/n, smut, p in v, persuation, dubious consent, slight blood-play?, fingering, handjob, no mention of Jake or marc (sorry>_<), making out, not beta read, biting, marking, blood, scars, sub/steven?, begging, if i missed anything pls dont hesitate to tell mee<33

wordcount: a bit over 3000

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You have been in the museum for about 5 hours now. it's a place you like to be at, since it's shaded from the sun and usually quite deserted. You could go about the place comfortably without feeling watched or potentially being found out when you would drink out of your pre-packed blood packs. You even bought an opaque straw to make sure no-one saw the dark red thick liquid. unfortunately you forgot the straw and more importantly the packs. You’ve been waiting for the sun to set which you usually wouldn't need to-do because London was a generally clouded area, but this evening was especially sunny and warm despite it being october. You even forgot your umbrella at home, which you use to shield yourself from the sun.

there's a reason for your abrupt and unplanned leaving. you’ve been coming to this particular museum and touring the same exhibit for one reason only. The cute tour-guide, Steven Grant. He was intelligent and confident during his tour but every time you caught his gaze he would blush and avert his eyes fast, like a shy animal. you loved it. Always wearing those funky oversized shirts and ties under that beige jacket, on the warmer days he’d fold up the sleeves of his shirt to expose those delicious veins on his forearms. Every Time you saw those you could feel your canines prodding into your bottom lip. It was even worse now that you had forgotten your blood-pack. You were burning for a drop of blood, craving it. The only thing holding you back was your usual distaste of drinking directly from humans. Sometimes they would be all sweaty and smell dirty, you had to get so close it would ruin your appetite and sometimes the smell of them would get stuck on you for hours after you fed on them, which you just couldn’t tolerate anymore. So a few centuries ago you decided to switch entirely to bloodpacks, which had felt like a really good decision.

With hunger came an impeccable sense of smell. You knew Steven smelled good but you didn’t know he smelled like this. Like warm vanilla and zesty lemon, homey and comfortable. You’d press your fangs into his neck and never let go if that meant you could have that smell on you forever. The fact that he looked so good would be a definite bonus. Surely he’d be okay with living in your home, it was a historical mansion. It sed to be a vacation house for some rich nobles, but you renovated and refurbished it a while ago and kept it updated to current fashion, it was a bit of a hobby to you. He would have a huge Collection of books to read which you know he'd love, since you’ve caught him on more than one occasion, reading a different book every lunch. Just like he was right now, sitting by the giftshop, eating his pickle, cheese sandwich and reading up on egyptology. He looked really focused and you wouldn’t want to disturb, but before you can turn and move far away from him, your feet are leading you toward him.

Your instincts probably taking control as you sit down next to him, overwhelmed by the calming aura around him. He looks up from the book and locks eyes with you and you hear his heartbeat quickening. The blood rushing through his veins and supplying him with adrenaline as he looks at you flushed and wide-eyed.

‘h-hello miss. Can I help you with somethin?’ his pretty british accent isn't lost on you and the way he can't tear his eyes away from you has you riding a high you haven’t felt in a few decades. ‘I’ve been coming to your tours for a while and I really enjoy them. You’re really good at what you do’ the last part, you say in a slightly lower and breathier voice-range than usual. Your hunger is really affecting you in ways you had completely forgotten. Before you knew you were spilling compliance and persuasion spells onto Steven. You never liked to use them, they only ever worked on people that already had a certain affinity with you anyway. Meaning they’d either like you or needed to find you attractive for these to work. If you wanted to force someone you’d have to use the mind numbing witch magic you learned a few years after your transformation. That one you’d only used once, in a very dire situation on a very very old woman. It wasn't good blood but it was enough to survive at the time.

You’re brought back to Steven when you feel him leaning on your shoulder. ‘I know you’ve been watching me- I like it. You’re a very beautiful and captivating woman.’ Steven said lazily and fully giving into your spells, letting all his thoughts tumble out of his mouth. ‘I especially love your skirts- no matter the length they always make me flustered and nervous. Make me feel like theres this itch I can't scratch.’ he talks breathily and you hear his heartbeat pick up again and his blood most-likely rushing towards his growing arousal. You quickly take his tie in your hand and tug him with you. He follows you like a little puppy as you walk into a supply closet together. You lock the door with your magic and darken the window. Steven sees you do that and his eyes bulge a little out of his skull. ‘I-I gotta get back to w-work-’ Steven backs into the corner and you stalk toward him like a predator would towards his prey. ‘Oh darling, no need to worry- I only need to borrow something, yeah? It’ll only hurt a little, I promise.’ you say as you reach out to him and start to unbutton his shirt to reveal his neck and chest to you. You take off his Jacket and he blushes intensely. As your canines start protruding out of your mouth Steven surges forward and messily kisses you, you’re caught off guard but immediately tug him closer to you.

He grabs at the nape of your neck and desperately kisses you, slashing his tongue into your mouth and licking your canines expertly. This only amplifies your hunger and you slam him into the wall behind him with unnatural strength. He whimpers and paws at your soft body pulling your hips closer to his. You part away from him to let him breathe, and start licking down to his throat nibbling his jawline and earlobe. Finally you get to his pulsepoint and inhale his scent urgently lapping against it. He moans and whimpers, writhing under your touch. ‘please- please’ he moans quietly, not entirely sure what he is begging for.

He savours the taste and craves more kissing you again, licking into your mouth and letting his flavour spread into his mouth. He takes off your bra as you unbuckle his pants. He throws the bra towards where your blouse and his shirt are and walks you backwards to a table covered with rags and cleaning supplies. He shoves everythign to the floor and lifts you onto it. You plop down on the table and make a show of arching your back for Steven. He growls and comes closer reaching under your particularly short skirt and cupps your pussy over your sheer tights. You mirror his action by reaching into his briefs and wrapping your hand around his already leaking cock.

He stares at you awestruck and you take his hand in yours tugging him forward so he falls onto you. He catches himself so he doesn't crush you completely. You hook your legs around his hips and feel his jeans against your ass. His dick rubbing over your clit destroys your patience ‘fuck me Steven’ he mewls at that and positions his cock over your eager hole and pushes in slowly. ‘you’re so perfect, so tight for me always’ You both moan and you grab a hold of his hair and expose the other side of his throat to you. You surge forward and break his skin with your sharp canines. He slams down hard, now completely sheathed inside your tight wet cunt. ‘oh I love this- love you honey oh my gods’ you unlatch from him and bite a new spot next to the other one. Marking him as yours once more. He slams into you, pounding your pussy. The only sounds in the room, filthy and wet squelching sounds from the repeated thrusting and your collective moaning and panting. Steven whimpers and moves one hand to your clit, rubbing at it expertly. ‘m’gonna cum love- pleaseplease can I cum?’ You lick the fresh blood off his throat. Humming at the taste of him, you feel as he shudders and starts rutting into you uncontrollably, he’s about to cum and so are you. You move to his ear and suck on his lobe, before releasing a command. ‘cum for me Steven.’ He mewls and moans at your command and wantonly thrusts into you even faster than before. You move towards his mouth and kiss him hungrily, to his delight you take his tongue into your mouth and suck on it eagerly.

His hips stutter and he explodes into your tight pussy catapulting you towards your own orgasm as he circles your clit. He shoots his load, painting your tight walls and collapses on top of you. you come down from your high and make soothing motions on Stevens back. Your head resting on his shoulder, you turn to your favourite spot and lick his wounds. You feel his dick bob inside your pussy and you giggle at your insatiable husband. ‘never can get enough can you?’ ‘never of you, love’ he says lovingly into your hair. He lifts himself up to make eye-contact ‘you should forget your blood-packs more often when you visit me at work’ he remarks while kissing your shoulder. ‘You’re lucky that my love for you is stronger than my lust for blood, sweetheart’ Steven kisses you lovingly ‘i love you too darling. By the way, how did you like my innocent act, it was good wasn't it?’ you snort as he wiggles his eyebrows up and down. You turn your face into a seductive smirk and lean into his ear putting on a sultry voice ‘mmhm, you did so good~’ his grip on you tightens and his softening cock hardening again at your voice. His breath hitches and you kiss him quickly smiling up at him innocently when you part, he groans at your successful teasing. You lay there for a little longer, before Steven remembers that he has another tour starting in a few minutes. You help eachother get clean and collect your torn tights off the floor as you notice that the panties had gone missing. Steven kisses you once more before exiting the supply-room and as he slides on the jacket you spot a deep red piece of fabric hanging out of his Inner pocket inside his jacket. You narrow your eyes at him jokingly and he winks at you before making his way towards the waiting visitors.

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a/n: thanks so much for reading<33 if you like this please like and/or reblog😌🫶🏽

[hel-phoenyx]

Oli belongs to @thal-ent

Domhildr (mentioned) belongs to @soupedepates

Modern AU shenanigans and Ivani getting updates on the whole saga lmao

"You look happier. That's a good thing."

I smile at Oli's comment. Indeed, I do look happier. I guess being on survival mode does take a toll on your mental health.

We're sitting at a terrace, they're drawing some of their next designs and I'm killing time with some random tarot card readings. Not looking too much in seeing the Nameless pop up a lot of times. Can't keep my third eye open at all times, can I ?

"Yeah, finally found a roof. Won't be definitive, but it gives me times to end my shady business and find a legitimate job."

"That explains the weight gain and the colors."

I snort.

"Please, I still look like a damn skeleton. What about you, you gained some colors ! You look even happier than last year, is there a guy in the picture ?"

Oli giggles a little mysteriously.

"Wouldn't you like to know..."

"Okay that means I'm right. Spill the beans, eldritch being, who is it, did you finally bang that cute roommate of yours ?"

They smile even more.

Wait.

No way.

No waaaaaaaaay.

I burst out laughing before she even has time to answer me.

"You've got to be kidding me, I didn't expect to be right ! Com'on, I want you even more to spill the beans now !"

Our drinks come in at the same time. I pay, now that I can enjoy money on the side ; and it's been a while since I've promised them to repay the favor. About time I can, even though he's fighting for the addition. Should have been faster, fucker, and yeah I'm weaponizing your chronic pain against you.

"Well, I don't know if you could qualify that of "relationship", Oli tells me after drinking a good sip. But I'm happy with what we have."

"Yeah, yeah, I know, aro spectrum. Trust me, I know the shit. Still, didn't expect one of you to make the first move ! Who was it ?"

"Don't really know, we were both drunk."

"Aaaaah, the good old drunk fuck. My favorite drama to hear about. It ended well, at least."

Oli laughs again. Wait a minute. There's something behind this smile, my sixth sense never fails me.

"Yeah, at least for us."

Okay now there's definitely something. I'll have to investigate this further and quickly.

"Isn't there something else you wouldn't tell me ?"

He blinks.

"Nooooooo ?"

"There is. You can't hide anything from me. com'ooooon, keep me updated."

"You first. What have you been up to ?"

Okay. I see how it is. Equivalent exchange. I see, I see. Well, you're not tricking me like this, cthulhu, you're the secretive one, not me.

"Eeeeeeh. Ended up in a library a little before Christmas and the librarian never let me out after that. Told me I could live there as long as I wanted to, no rent, while I fall back on my feet. That's how I've started regaining a bit of stability."

"Librarian ? Which library is it ?"

"The one next to the campus, not sure if you know it... But enough talking about me, your turn. Spill."

Com'on, I'm curious, and now that I have time I wanna hear all about aaaaaaall the drama I've missed. And I need to know what's bothering you. i'm your friend, I need to act like it.

Oli has a little shrug, before downing his drink and put a tip on the table.

"Well, nothing much. It's just that our friend hasn't talked to us in like, a month, at least."

"Say what ?"

.... And you call that nothing much ? Com'on, I know that's bothering you, don't act like it doesn't. And which friend it is ? The fascist ? I suppose I understand, he finally fell on the alt-right pipeline and now there's no one that can save him, but still.

"Should I kick his little neo-nazi ass-"

"What do you mean- oh, wait. I'm not talking about Meili, Ivani, Oli laughs. i'm talking about Tyr."

...

That Tyr ?

The gentle giant that once got me out of a pickle with petulant researchers thinking me existing was stealing their spotlight ? The one that afterwards bought me a drink and gave me some money before running away because social interaction ? The one that, the only time I saw him with you and your roommate, was looking at you both like you were the sun incarnated on earth, and I mean that as a good thing ?

THAT Tyr ?

".... You're fucking with me, are you."

"Who's supposed to have a third eye ?" Oli jokes, playing with their tablet pen.

"Oh, fuck youuuuuu. That guy is infatuated, no way in hell he decided to cut the chord on a whim. Don't tell me it's because of you guys' relationship, I'm gonna lose faith in him..."

A shrug.

"Don't think so, It's more complicated than that. It's just... We ran into one of his friends, that is not ours. Fenrir Wolffsen, if you know who that is."

Oh yeah I know. The infamous anarchist cop. Nasty one. Ran into him on both sides of violent manifestations. He's the kind to go all over the place for stupid shit; Didn't know Oli knew him, as every homeless person with common sense know to avoid him at all costs.

"Ew."

"You know who that is. And well... He told hurtful things to Tyr about Domi and the other guy she has a crush on, and a whole lot of bullshit about him never being priority... Long story short, Tyr ran on us, Domi tried to cheer him up but that only made things worse, both of them left me in the bar without a word, and next thing I know I get a call from Kriss telling me he's recovering at her place and that he probably turned his phone off."

".... Holy shit."

"Yeah I know. Never saw him like that, too. Neither Domi. I get news from his sister about how he is doing, apparently he's fine, resuming his thesis, but doesn't talk to anyone except the immediate family."

That's

Quite a lot of things to register.

And here I was happy to hear all about Bazyli's New Year's Eve yesterday. at the very least it was heated, not that explosive. What the fuck-

Not a big fan of avoidance, but damn, the guy must be in a worse shape than I thought, to cut off the ones he loves just like that.

"And... It's been a fucking month ?"

"Yep ! I mean, it's not like he's entirely isolated, he's just screenless, and it was like, worse when he was slaving away on his papers."

Oli, don't try shit to me, I know that smile is false.

Sigh. And those people are supposed to be in their late twenties. What a show of immaturity. Well, more on Tyr's side than Oli's, even if I can kinda see where that comes from. But, like, a MONTH, and cutting off Oli who isn't remotely linked to whatever he put up with ?

"Woooooooow. Your life is a shitshow, my dude."

"Eh. Shouldn't have to worry too much."

Oli, I worry about YOU.

Jeez. Getting out of survival mode really brings out a shitload of new things to care about.

[xirayn]

It's Snowing

Steve and Robin find love during the holiday season, despite a blizzard and the pseudo-apocolypse.

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Relationships: Jonathan Byers/Steve Harrington, Robin Buckley/Kali Prasad

This was for the Stranger Things Rare Pair Big Bang last year, but I'm resurrecting it for the holidays.

Read on AO3 here

Preview under the cut

The late December air nips at Steve and Robin’s noses as they make the short trip from the car into Bradley’s Big Buy. Fortunately, the store is one of the select buildings that still has power in Hawkins’ pseudo post-apocalyptic state, so the cold doesn’t follow them through the doors. Christmas music plays from the radio placed where the register used to be at the checkout Melissa is sitting at, ready to inventory any items given or taken. She looks up from her crossword to exchange polite greetings before Robin leads Steve further into the store.

"For the record," she states as they pass a decorated evergreen surrounded by baskets containing hand-knit winter wear for whoever might need it, "I think going out today is a bad idea. I know the weather report isn’t saying that it will snow, but my dad’s knee is acting up, which always means a storm is coming."

Steve heaves a sigh. "Your dad’s trick knee doesn’t decide if we can skip a patrol or not. Besides, it’s not like I’m going alone."

Shelves once lined with flashy labels have become a testament to the strength and generosity of the Hawkins community. Among the government-provided rations marked by plain, black text are jars of preserves, dried fruits, pickled vegetables, and fresh baked goods. A festive display offers cookies and pastries in celebration of the holidays. Steve grabs a hermit cookie as he passes, snagging another for Robin when she catches him with an offended huff.

“That doesn’t make me feel any better,” Robin protests. She accepts the cookie and takes a bite, not waiting to swallow before she continues. "You’re going to be so busy stealing longing glances at Jonathan that you’ll get buried in snow and die of hypothermia."

Steve rolls his eyes. After Jonathan and Nancy broke up, it became impossible for Steve to claim the way he had looked at them was solely due to Nancy. Of course Robin noticed; mostly because it was how she used to look at Vicky until she got the courage to confess and was, very gently, shot down.

“I’ll notice if it starts snowing,” he insists.

"Of course you'll notice it’s snowing." Robin shoots back. "What you won't notice is how fast it is coming down until you're already in whiteout conditions. Or, you might think 'it's not that cold' because you're stubborn and enjoy suffering and absolutely incapable of admitting when something is too much!"

Steve grabs her elbow before she starts down an aisle lined with various camping and hunting supplies. His hands come to rest on her shoulders when she turns to face him, ensuring he has her attention as well as interrupting her impending rant.

"Robbie," he starts, "I love you, but you're being ridiculous. I know how fast the weather can change, especially with the Upside Down spilling out all over the place. That's why we have the outposts, though, and, even if I try to stay out too long, you know Jonathan'll drag me to safety at the first sign of trouble."

Robin's lips press into a thin line and her eyes narrow. There are more objections on the tip of her tongue, but they are dismissed by a pointed brow raise and head tilt. She relents.

"Fine, but I get the first pick of any books you find."

"Duh," Steve responds

A military green canteen in an insulated sleeve catches his eye. He picks it up, removing the cap to sniff the inside. Once assured it is free of any strange odor, he removes the sleeve to further inspect it. A folded scrap of paper, yellowed and stained, is hidden in the bottom. Steve sets the canteen aside in order to carefully unfold it. The delicate script causes him to squint.

"It’s in French. Maybe the previous owner was stationed in France?"

"Don’t mention France," Robin practically whines. She holds her hand out for the paper, which Steve passes over before going back to his inspection. "I’m still in mourning. Like, I was all set to take a gap year to backpack through Europe, and a portal to a parallel hell-dimension opens up before I can even graduate. Now I’m pouring through depression-era cookbooks for cookie recipes rather than learning the difference between a macaron and a macaroon."

Steve gives her an inquisitive look. "Isn’t that one of the things Bugs Bunny says?"

Robin doesn’t look up from the paper. "You’re thinking of ‘maroon’."

The canteen is put back into the sleeve before Steve puts it in his pack. He goes back to looking through the supplies, picking up a hunting knife and removing it from its black, leather sheath to test the weight. Robin continues to read as he does, finally folding the paper back up before slipping it into her back pocket.

"It’s a poem, or maybe part of one. Basically, ‘if you are going to kiss me, take your time because I have waited for you’." She shrugs. There is also something about 'bliss of being and not being’, which leaves her to believe there is more that would put that in context, but it isn't important enough to mention.

"That doesn't sound very poetic." Steve slides the blade back into its sheath and returns it to the shelf. He is more comfortable with a bat or an ax.

"Poetry doesn't always translate," Robin dismisses. A flashlight is flicked on and off again, then handed to Steve. "My mom is throwing a fondue party, by the way. You're invited."

"Where is she getting fondue?" Steve asks.

"Don't underestimate the versatility of canned goods or the ingenuity of old hippies."

Robin picks up a Zippo and tosses it to Steve, who reflexively snatches it midair. He flicks it open to check if it has fuel then, nodding in approval at the little flame, clicks it shut before he pockets it.

“When is it?” Steve picks up a brass whistle that Robin quickly grabs before he thinks about testing it.

“Tuesday for the solstice,” she answers, putting the whistle in her own bag. “It’s Mom’s way of appeasing Mamaw after the feast fiasco last year.”

Steve raises an eyebrow. “Feast fiasco?”

“It was a whole thing,” Robin groans. “Mamaw was upset that Mom’s Solstice feast took away from her Christmas dinner since they are, like, four days apart, but a fondue party isn’t technically a feast, so Mamaw can’t be mad about it. Anyway, it’s going to have this whole hygge vibe.”

“What is hoo-ga?”

“Hygge,” Robin repeats. “It’s the art of being cozy. Just wear one of your hideous Christmas sweaters. And bring a date, if you want.”

[forgottenwaters]

[continued from here]

i see... to have your own realm seems both fortunate and lonely, to be honest. i believe it much more rewarding for gods to live closer to their followers - after all, some may find it harder to believe in something they can never see, hm? of course, everyone has their reasons, but i imagine that for those who live near-infinite lives, it must get lonely... in any case, i admire your boldness. you make it sound fun, exploring other universes.

[kon grows quiet then, snout tipped downward. something about their aura changes, their appearance shifting ever so slightly.]

thank you for your honesty. i admit, i have not been truthful with you, but i'm sure you understand my caution. allow me to reintroduce myself.

i am known as lord ninetails, but i believe i can trust you with my real name. please, call me koun.

[koun tilts their head with a playful smirk.]

i'm sorry for deceiving you. i was actually so curious about you, i skipped work to come greet you myself. i just couldn't help playing a little trick on you, hehe.

[koun's many tails wag in excitement, though they are soon interrupted by the sound of the door being slid open.]

lord ninetails, did you come in from the garden again? you're going to get the tatami all dirty.

ah, m-my apologies.

...whatever. i've brought your food.

[behind them, masaya tugs a small trolley where they take various dishes and lay them out on the table. garnished with pickled radishes as red as the maple leaves drifting outside, the fried tofu used in both the udon and the sushi have been prepared in a way that resemble fox ears. the sake and condiments follow afterwards along with napkins and utensils. across from inari, koun eyes their own bowl of udon with an eager twinkle, though they at least wait for masaya to leave the room again before lapping at the broth.]

eheh... please, enjoy the meal. masaya is a very talented chef, so i hope it's to your liking. if you have any more questions for me, i would be happy to answer them. i'd also like to get to know you better too, hm?

@askoinari

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

Vinegar and other summer drinks

@mdzs-is-rotting-my-brain

☀️⛱️🍉 a sun, beach, and watermelon for some fun, summery vibes.

I love writing summer-themed prompts so much <3

There are many drinks people enjoy during summer: ice cold water, lemonade, cocktails, smoothies - but right now, Lan Wangji is chugging liters upon liters of vinegar. He's basically about to pickle himself.

Wei Ying hangs over the beach bar's counter, elbows supporting him as he glances over the drink selection and makes various suggestions to the very flirty bartender. She mixes the drinks, winking towards Wei Ying as she does, performing various tricks with the shaker or the bottles. He cheers for the coolest ones, even claps.

He's so beautiful when he laughs, and the sun has kissed his skin as much as Lan Zhan does, but does he have to be so... nice to everyone?

Anyway, back to the bartender, Lan Zhan feels like she's doing all these things on purpose. Yes, it's a beach bar, she can't wear a suit, but that bikini top is way too small in Lan Zhan's opinion, and with how much she's moving around, it's public indecency waiting to happen.

She's dancing to the summery pop songs that she put on the speakers a bit too much, shouldn't she try to finish her work already? How long does it take to make a cocktail anyway?

The glass is nearly filled up, thankfully, and Lan Zhan just wants to pay and whisk his husband away, maybe freshen up the hickies on his neck - but the lady rummages in the cabinets underneath the bar and soon, a plate of watermelon pieces joins the cocktail glass.

"On the house." she announces, with a smile. "A snack for a snack."

Wei Ying plucks Lan Zhan's card out of his hand and pays, leaving a hefty tip for the bartender as he picks up his items and takes a seat at the bar's cozy little sitting area near the sea shore.

"That girl really knows what she's doing, this cocktail is so good! Wanna try?"

It's way too early for Lan Zhan to drink, so he shakes his head, instead reaching for a piece of watermelon. The fruit is juicy and sweet, and he sees why the bartender likened it to Wei Ying. He too is very juicy and very sweet.

"See, there's a point to me flirting with everyone, we get extra stuff!" Wei Ying laughs, "You should try it too. You're even hotter than me, I bet you could get us free everything!"

Lan Zhan huffs. "Ridiculous. I can pay."

"Okay, mr. Moneybags, but getting things for free is a lot more fun! It's the principle of the thing."

"Isn't it unfair, to flirt without any serious intention?"

Wei Ying picks up a piece of watermelon and bites into it. "Honestly, if anyone sees the way you look at me and still thinks I'm available, that's on them."

"And how do I look at you?"

"Like you want to break me, but in a good way."

"Fair enough. Let's go."

"Go where?"

"So I can break you."

[thedragonagelesbian]

transfuse health

Gale hesitated. Well, they all hesitated. The hag’s latest trick gave them plenty of reason to pause, weaving illusion magic to double Mayrina’s form across the battlefield, but the lack of response from as quick a mind as Gale’s was particularly concerning. Cyrus looked back over his wings and saw the other man with an arrow knocked, its tip drifting between its two potential targets. He took a breath as if to fire, but on the exhale, his stance slumped. Bow and arrow slouched in his left hand, his right flung out with a spark of his treasured magic collecting in its palm. Red and crackling, three bolts of energy streaked out from the tips of his fingers. Cyrus felt one graze his midriff, that strip of bare flesh he used to power his blood magic, before it buried itself in the shimmer of ether in front of him.

“It’s me!” Mayrina was doubled over and sobbing as the guise vanished, clutching at her smoking chest. “It’s me, please don’t hurt me!”

Further ahead, at the top of the twisted staircase, the other magic missiles found their proper mark in the sneering figure of the hag.

“Not much of a wizard nowadays, are we, dearie?”

Cyrus’ pulse slammed against his throat. “Gale!” 

She couldn’t die. They had to save her. That’s what he had promised. No more innocents, no more death, no more blood except his own. Not like the petrified dwarf who had withered away when Cyrus had tried to free him, not like Karlach skewered between his sword and Wyll’s, not like Alfira, the silk of her entrails wound around his hands…

Whatever Gale’s response was, Cyrus couldn’t hear it over the roar of blood in his ears and the agitation of his wings behind him— wet, fleshy appendages pulling in protest. Like the rest of him, the aching viscera strung from his shoulder blades rebelled against his kindness. It tore at him, as if to drag him to his true target. 

The scent of Mayrina’s singed flesh sang to him. Would it not be so sweet to finish the task that Gale had started?

His head swam, heavy and waterlogged, awash senselessly in the rhythm of his bloodlust— until he felt a twinge.

The parasite.

Since Omeluum had awoken it, it had been more active. More hungry. 

And while the rest of the party had investigated the other dark corners of Ethel’s gallery, Cyrus had hunched over Efrin’s body. His companions were familiar at this point with his ritual of conversing with any dead that would talk to him, especially those whose death he had a part in, and knew to leave him be, but he hadn’t talked to Efrin’s spirit. 

He had thought of his own gallery. That which had been revealed to him after he consumed the noblestalk mushroom, the spoils of his own grotesqueness on permanent display.

He had reached into his pack and pulled out one of the tadpoles. They were preserved not unlike the trophies in his memories, a foul pickling liquid of saline and the grey matter of its former inhabitant. A few drops of it had splashed onto Efrin’s body as Cyrus had uncorked the bottle, trembling fingers plunging too fast into the solution. He had needed to get the tadpole out before the others saw.

How could he have looked any of them in the eye and told them whatever monster this makes of me must be better than what I am now?

Now, alongside that monstrosity hummed another voice: that of the eladrin in the prism.

“This is why you claimed the parasite’s power,” he reminded Cyrus. “I believe in you. Use it to save her. To save everyone.”

Better to obey him than the Urge.

For a moment, his headache cleared. That perpetual pounding, dull at best and nauseating at worst but always thrumming between his eyes, it disappeared.

In its place, he felt the chorus of the other tadpoles. They writhed in exultation, and the emotions of their hosts flooded Cyrus as they realized what was happening. Wyll’s concern, as expansive and as warming as the sun without any light left for himself, pivoted from Mayrina to Cyrus. Whatever annoyance Astarion was nursing for this entire heroic affair, it ceded to confusion, much as Gale’s guilt evaporated into curiosity.

And Cyrus felt himself brimming with potential, though without the slightest idea of how to direct it. He was no warlock or wizard: everything he did, he drew from his body.

He brought the hilt of his sword to his breast and closed his eyes. As the blood-slick sheen of radiance along the blade kissed his cheeks, he let the noblestalk’s memory come back. The vivisection, the slip of Sceleritas’ claws, the plunge of his hand into the chest cavity to cradle his screaming victim’s heart.

His own chest contracted, as if something was crowded between his lungs.

He squeezed.

Everything went white. The pain built like pressure, bones buckling with the last breath forced out of him.

The only thing he could hear was a jeering laugh. “The little angel’s gone and hurt himself again! Think that’ll make it all okay? You don’t even remember which god you’re paying penance to, petal.”

A pantomime of death throes seized him, gasping and spasming, but this was a hurt without origin. No blood to staunch, just an ache in his body, set deep enough to trigger his marks: glowing celestial inscriptions enveloping him in the red of his sacrifice and flooding his vision as it returned to him. 

Pain translated into power. That was the first lesson Cyrus had ever learned in this body.

More surprising than the fiery script, was Mayrina, mouth open in shock as she touched her stomach. Not a trace of her pain remained. 

It burned in Cyrus instead.

Hot. Angry. Wounded, but fiercer for it.

“Good.” The eladrin’s voice was bursting with pride, bright enough to blind Cyrus to what Auntie Ethel’s gibe had implied: that he could not bleed his way to atonement from a divinity he had forgotten. “Very good.”

Adjusting his grip on his shield, Cyrus kicked up from the ground. The sinew of his wings stretched behind him, but they hurt less now. Everything hurt less suspended in fury. Even the throbbing of his skull could be numbed by such clarity and singularity of purpose.

He would sacrifice whatever of himself he had to to get everyone else out of this lair safely, and he would be sure to take the hag down with him.

As he slammed down in front of Ethel, he heard a different sneer tugging at his tadpole.

“Our little wriggling friends here offer us complete dominion over others,” Astarion drawled, “and you’ve decided to use its powers to feed your martyr complex?”

Cyrus’ rage screamed back: I AM THE HARBINGER. THIS IS WHAT I DO. THIS IS WHAT I AM GOOD FOR.

[foodieflavorscape]

Learn how to pickle a variety of vegetables, fruits, and more with our step-by-step instructions and expert tips. Discover the art of preserving flavors and extending the shelf life of your favorite foods through the magic of pickling. From classic cucumber pickles to innovative pickle recipes, we've got you covered. Join us as we explore the ins and outs of pickling, share creative ideas for pickling anything, and provide a handy pickle guide for your culinary adventures. Get ready to elevate your meals and impress your friends and family with delicious homemade pickles! We also go through some additional tips and trick on how you can increase the flavor profile of your pickling project with herbs and spices. Let's get pickling!