#Project Management Assignment Help online

[gumtreeechoes]

Need Project Management Assignment Help to ace your coursework? Our expert assistance covers key project management concepts, including risk management, project planning, scheduling, budgeting, and Agile methodologies. We provide well-researched, plagiarism-free solutions with step-by-step explanations to help you grasp complex topics and achieve top grades. Whether you need help with case studies, reports, or practical applications, our professionals ensure high-quality work and timely delivery. Get the best Project Management Assignment Help today and excel in your studies!

[tutor-helpdesk]

Working Capital Optimization: Essential Help for Finance Assignments

Introduction: What is Working Capital?

Working capital constitutes a crucial principle in the field of finance, signifying the short-term liquidity position of a firm. It is defined as the difference between an organization's current assets—encompassing cash, inventory, and accounts receivable—and its current liabilities, including accounts payable and short-term debt. In essence, it denotes the financial resources available to the company to facilitate its daily operational needs. Effective working capital management ensures that a company can meet its operational needs and financial obligations, while also channeling available resources to facilitate growth in the company.

Every student or learner involved in finance studies or assignments particularly those that relate to working capital, must understand the factors that explain the working capital. Why? Working capital belongs to the most critical indicators of financial performance since they directly reflect the financial result, availability of funds for operations, and risks involved. Effective management of work capital can enhance or develop efficiency in the business hence enhancing the performance by the firm. For students, to understand these dynamics students are usually tasked to solve various numerical questions to gain insights into the practical financial operations of businesses.

By opting for finance assignment help, students can get to know more about the  perspective of working capital optimization and other advanced techniques in the field. This means that one can seek working capital study assistance from professional experts, especially in complex working capital problems as opposed to what is found in textbooks and theories. This involves an opportunity for students to gain a greater understanding of the subject, hence exposing them to applicable strategies for succeeding in their assignments.

Working Capital Optimization: Issue Diagnosis in Details

Working capital optimization can be defined as the means and methods that are used in the management of the short-term assets and liabilities of a business with the aim of ensuring the operations of the firm are done in the most efficient and profitable manner. This also means that there is a fine line to be drawn between the need for liquid assets to meet short-term obligations and bringing down capital expenses.

As regards finance students, it may appear that working capital optimization is quite simple and quite basic as a subject however in a real sense, it is quite an elaborate and complicated subject that can make or break a business. In this regard, we shall look at why working capital optimization is important, how the companies achieve these goals and real cases where companies have demonstrated a working capital optimization impact.

Why Optimize Working Capital?

It is quite evident that working capital management is of great importance for all businesses as it influences many key performance metrics:

Liquidity: Sufficient working capital ensures that the company can perform its short-term obligations in terms of paying off suppliers and employees.

Profitability: Proper working capital management will minimize the capital cost incurred, therefore increasing cash flows available for financing growth and innovation.

Operational Performance: Focused and disciplined working capital management enables businesses to operate more efficiently, decrease waste, and enhance stock control.

Risk Management: Working capital management in a business alleviates the operational risk exposure – Supply Chain risks, economic downturns, and other surprises that a business may experience.

For students, such a study helps to understand the rationale behind the varying impacts of the financial decisions made in a company on its various operations.

Ways on how Working Capital can be Improved

There are various strategies that can be recommended for companies that require improvement of the working capital. These strategies are aimed at ensuring that companies maintain adequate amounts of cash, increase cash inflows, and reduce cash outflows that are unnecessary in the first place.

Inventory Management

Inventory management is one of the key components of working capital management. A firm can enhance its liquidity profile by lowering the total stock holding of unsold products by minimizing excess stocks.

Methods such as JIT manufacturing systems, where products are sourced and produced only when needed. This approach helps companies save on stockholding expenditure and overproduction.

Example: Toyota was able to change the face of the auto industry with the implementation of the manufacturing system called Just In Time (JIT), giving the extra edge of efficiency coupled with a reduction in working capital requirements.

Accounts Receivable Management

Customers paying their bills within the set timeframe is very important. For further optimization of receivables, some credit control measures are often applied such as allowing discounts for early payments or limiting credit for customers with a history of poor payments.

Another approach known as factoring helps in supplementing working capital. This involves receivables sold to a third party thus providing cash flow in a shorter time frame.

Case Study: In its attempt to improve cash flow, General Electric in the year, 2009 commenced sales of parts of its receivables and created 2 billion in capital within a year leading the firm to focus more on growth and investment avenues.

Accounts Payable Management

The payable side is much more interesting. This is about optimizing for the longest period before making any payment ta the supplier without jeopardizing any existing credit or relationships. Cash flow may be enhanced if payment terms can be adjusted without any serious penalty for longer terms.

Purchasers may utilize the assisted financial program to make early payments to their suppliers through financial institutions, while the purchaser gets extended terms to preserve working capital.

Example: Walmart has entered into extended payment terms with its suppliers to preserve its working capital for longer terms.

Cash Management

Firms need to ensure that there is an optimal cash reserve committed to the working capital requirements and also minimize cash that is idle earning no returns.

Firms utilize sweeping mechanisms, in which the excess cash is transferred to an interest-bearing account thereby making returns out of excess cash and at the same time preserving liquidity.

Example: Microsoft is well known for its cash management practices. The world’s biggest computer software company has for many years managed to keep positive working capital instead of spending it on many things and maintains generous cash reserves for investments, buying back stock, and paying dividends.

The Role of Working Capital Management

The effect of working capital optimization is not limited to the enhancement of liquidity and cash flow alone. This is capable of reinventing the potential of a company for growth and competitiveness within the industry.

Better Financial Condition: Reduction in the amounts tied up in working capital positively impacts the company's operating cycle and the balance sheet. Improvement in some of the operational ratios such as current and quick ratios is also observed. This subsequently increases the creditworthiness and the cost of borrowing reduces.

Secure Superior Position: Efficient working capital allows organizations to respond to changes in the market more effectively. For instance, they will be able to take advantage of bulk buying discounts and invest in new opportunities more quickly than its competitors.

Recovery from Impacts: When the economy is going through difficult times, the likelihood of companies that strategically manage their working capital to manage disruptions. For instance, during the most recent period when the majority of the companies were in a cash liquidity crisis due to covid19 pandemic, companies that effectively managed cash flows survived.

Long-Term Development: Firms can free up cash from operational efficiency which then allows them to seek more growth opportunities like R&D, marketing, or expansion. Optimization of working capital, therefore, becomes the initial move towards the attainment of competitive advantage in due time.

Case Example: Apple Inc.

Apple Inc. is probably the most referenced case when it comes to the optimization of working capital. This has been made possible because of the peculiarities in the businesses of Apple-it is able to maintain working capital which is negative by collecting money from customers before it pays suppliers. This offers the company a huge liquidity edge and a key reason behind its financial performance.

Due to Apple’s excellent supply chain management processes and beneficial contractual payment agreements with suppliers, the company does not require additional working capital. Such a strategy releases massive amounts of cash flow, which Apple has invested in R&D, advertising, and acquisitions. As a result, Apple has grown and become a market leader.

Expert Finance Assignment Help for MBA Students

Our finance assignment assistance service is primarily directed toward MBA students who are having a tough time comprehending and practicing difficult areas such as working capital management. We offer detailed, individualized help to students in dealing with difficult assignments, case studies, and analysis.

As for complicated financial topics including working capital optimization, our company employs seasoned financial specialists with expertise in sophisticated techniques on liquidity, cash flow, and operational efficiency management. We break down these concepts into simple steps for students to facilitate their understanding of the theory and practical aspects of the problem. Our aim is not only to assist the learners in solving practical problems but help them learn how and when to utilize these techniques when they face real financial problems.

How Our Service Makes Complex Financing Problems Simple

We use a combination of visuals, like flowcharts and financial models in order to simplify difficulties in complicated financial problems. By demonstrating the relation between the problem to its financial theory, we make sure that students never miss any important aspect of the solution. We offer tailored solutions for case studies and give in-depth information on different working capital strategies used by top companies. This helps students understand how to use these strategies in their studies.

More Sophisticated Techniques and Wider Scope

We introduce students to new and improved methods that they can adopt in solving questions that go beyond the basics of financial management. Among those advanced techniques include; modeling of dynamic working capital, cash conversion optimization, and enhancing working capital with financial technologies.

Apart from working capital optimization, we also offer finance assignment assistance in a wide range of subjects including but not limited to:

Corporate Finance

Risk Management

Investment Analysis

Financial Statement Analysis

Capital Budgeting

Mergers & Acquisitions

Benefits for MBA Students:

Many students ask the question: “Why should I choose your service?” The explanation is that they not only get custom-made solutions that enable them to complete their tasks in due time but also enhance their grasp of contemporary financial principles. Our specialists always give new ideas to the students to enable them to apply in their coursework assignments for top grades.

Conclusion:

Working capital management is an important aspect of financial management. This influences liquidity and profitability as well as risk factors. Students studying finance must learn the concepts to have a deeper understanding of the practical issues of business functioning. By opting for our service and getting help with finance assignments, students can learn from experts and understand important topics better. We provide sample problems, case studies, textbooks, and research papers to help students complete their assignments confidently and clearly.

Textbooks and References for Students

For students who want to undertake deeper studies in the area of working capital optimization, the is a selection of relevant textbooks and some research papers that lay a good base.

One such textbook is “Financial Management: Theory and Practice” by Eugene F. Brigham & Michael C. Ehrhardt.– This particular book attempts to explain the fundamentals of why decisions are made financially with reasonable chapters on working capital management.

Corporate Finance Jonathan Berk and Peter DeMarz– A commonly recommended textbook, which considers some of the working capital management aspects among other principles of financial management.

[assignmentprohelper]

Unlocking Academic Success: The Role of Online Assignment Helpers

In the ever-evolving landscape of education, the rise of online assignment helpers has emerged as a transformative force, reshaping the way students approach their academic journeys. With the digital realm becoming an integral part of modern learning, these virtual guides offer a valuable hand to learners seeking clarity and excellence in their coursework. As the demands of education grow more intricate, the role of the online assignment helper has evolved into a crucial companion for management assignment help online the complexities of their studies.

The essence of the online assignment helper lies in its ability to provide personalized assistance, bridging the gap between classroom instruction and individual comprehension. Every student has a unique learning style and pace, and these platforms recognize this diversity. They offer tailor-made solutions, catering to the specific needs of students, thus fostering a deeper understanding of the subject matter. This individualized approach not only enhances academic performance but also cultivates a sense of confidence and self-assurance among students.

In an era where time is a precious commodity, online assignment helpers offer a lifeline to overwhelmed students juggling multiple commitments. The 24/7 availability of these platforms ensures that assistance is accessible at the student's convenience. This flexibility empowers learners to manage their schedules efficiently, promoting a healthy work-life-study balance. Moreover, by delegating certain tasks to these platforms, students can delve into other aspects of learning, such as engaging in extracurricular activities or dedicating more time to in-depth research on complex topics.

However, the benefits of online assignment helpers extend beyond the realm of individual students. They serve as a complementary resource to educators, aiding them in identifying areas where their students might be struggling. By analyzing the patterns of queries and misconceptions that arise on these platforms, teachers can adapt their teaching methods to address common challenges effectively. This symbiotic relationship between online assignment helpers and educators cultivates a holistic learning environment, where both students and teachers actively participate in the educational journey.

Nonetheless, as with any technological advancement, ethical considerations come to the forefront. The proper utilization of online assignment helpers is essential to uphold academic integrity. Students must view these platforms as tools for learning and clarification, rather than shortcuts to bypass genuine effort. Educators, on their part, should guide students on the appropriate usage of such resources, emphasizing the importance of critical thinking and independent problem-solving skills.

In conclusion, the emergence of online assignment helpers marks a significant chapter in the modern education narrative. These platforms empower students to overcome academic challenges, foster a proactive approach to learning, and encourage a harmonious synergy between educators and learners. The key lies in harnessing these digital tools judiciously, leveraging their benefits while upholding the core values of education. As technology continues to shape education, the role of online assignment helpers will likely evolve further, but their essence of being enablers of academic success will remain constant.

[kr-starz]

Modern Highschool Arcane AU headcanons !!

(Vi & Jinx)

Jinx and Vi are still teenagers, their age gap would be like 3 years in this AU, so when it's Jinx's freshman year Vi's already a Senior.

People were genuinely surprised finding out the little chaotic science geek and the sports-minded athlete were SISTERS since they were so different friend group and personality wise.

(Cait & Vi)

Vi is a jock! She does winter wrestling and she's the best in her weight group. She's also involved in fall and spring sports. Baseball and football are her other seasonal sports.

People know Vi to be just a sports junkie, she has pretty good grades but nothing exceptional.

She's not so great at science , which forces her to be tutored.

Vi and Cait met in their sophomore year, she needed some help improving her grade in order to be eligible for the spring season sports since she was failing history at the time, so Caits assigned to help her out.

Caitlyn’s a goody two shoes icl, like she’s apart of the student council and her mom’s the superintendent. She’s in ROTC and she’s so very loud about it, she’s basically the FACE of the program.

Cait and Vi get close because Vi keeps seeing Caitlyn around and she’s become sort of a hallway crush, but with her fuckboy attitude Vi tries to flirt the second she realizes that she’s somehow managed to get Caitlyn as her tutor!

Cait is used to people flirting with her, she usually brushes it off since she’s a man magnet. Vi on the other hand, is weirdly making her flustered? It’s strange, really.

Cait and Vi start getting closer and eventually start dating the year after.

(Ekko & Jinx)

Ekko and Jinx are the same age but Ekko's older by a few months so he brags about it.

Ekko D&D nerd. He dragged Jinx into it, she only complied since Ekko asked so nicely (he threatened her kindly)

Jinx isn’t into extracurriculars, did track in middle school so she’s exceptionally fast and she’s in the track and field team in high school but she skips practice A LOT but the coach lowkey needs her so she doesn’t get punished.

Jinx has straight A’s but she skips classes and has days where she just can’t attend class so she does some of her work online (it’s like 70/30) in person-online; she has accommodations in her 504 plan that lets her listen to music all the time and lets her leave class whenever.

Jinx is just a nickname that was given to her while she was a kid since every sports team she cheered for ended up losing (she only ever went since she wanted to see what Vi was up to) and she was Jinxing every game which DID hurt her feelings when she was like 6 but now it’s kind of funny since she doesn’t care for sports.

She’s slightly uncomfortable letting random people call her Powder now since she introduces herself as Jinx, only her closer friends call her Powder.

She no longer Jinxes games now though but it was funny while it lasted.

Ekko and Jinx have this weird rivalry-friendship-situationship where they ARE childhood best friends who back each other up but they refuse to pair up together when working on projects since they wanna see who can get better grades or impress more people.

Ekko and Jinx is like “the boy/girl next door” trope since they’ve been casually hanging just whenever since they were little itty bitty kids. So people kind of know Jinx as “that girl friend he’s always around” and Ekko as “that boy friend Jinx is always around” to their respective classmates and acquaintances.

Ekko and Jinx used to get the “wait you guys aren’t dating” comment at least once a month. (They’re not dating just yet)

Ekko is in the art club and has never considered doing a sport (Ice hockey has intrigued him more and more every year though) and he’s in a bunch of clubs to compensate. He established the D&D club, being in a little “green thumb” club for plant parents, afterschool computer-science club which is run by Viktor and Jayce. He’s got a pretty decent variety of friends because of it and larger social circle. He’s known to be this friendly little nerdy guy and people either love him or think he’s weird.

When Ekko doesn’t have extracurriculars to focus on he’s out practicing new skate tricks,

Ekko is the plant dad of the CENTURY, he has like 20 plants in his room, he’s nurturing a garden in his backyard and he has the prettiest bushels of flowers in the house. He’s got the greenest of thumbs.

Jinx has a black thumb and kills every plant in a 20 mile radius. No but seriously, when Ekko tried giving Jinx a plant to take care of as an attempt to bond, it DIED within a week. (She drowned it) and when he gave her an easier plant to take care of, she fed the thing rubbing alcohol and didn’t notice until it was DEAD.

Ekko asks Jinx to Hoco, that’s when they started dating. Everyone calls it like “oh my god finally” “you weren’t dating before?” Etc. it’s really cute but there’s minimal changes!! They just start like, kissing or something.

[ms-demeanor]

*screaming*

*continued screaming*

Okay. So. My introductory Visual C# class.

The professor for that class was Alice. Alice was the person who spoke in the introductory video and the person who we were supposed to email if we had any issues.

But all of the assignments, lectures, and quizzes were written and delivered by Bob. On the youtube channel "Bob's programming academy." The quizzes included Bob's name, like "if you do X will it return the string ProfessorBob, Professor, Bob, or Professor.Bob?"

This class was really frustrating for me because it was structured in such a way that you could easily pass the class with zero knowledge of the subject - it was totally based on quizzes that you could take an unlimited number of times and we *had* weekly programming assignments but they weren't graded so there was no incentive to do them (and look, if I wanted to teach myself programming with no incentives I could fail for several years to do that on my own, I don't need to pay fifty bucks a unit for that; the reason I am in a *class* and am not self-taught is because I need external motivation. That's why I sought out a class).

Also when there *was* a problem with an instruction that was unclear in one of the videos for the assignments, or if I thought I'd done something correctly that was very much incorrect, it wasn't Alice who had created the instructions, it was Bob - in 2017 no less - and I didn't really feel like I could ask Alice for help with an ungraded assignment that she hadn't written.

So. Now. My Python class.

Today is the first day of class. Professor is Charles.

I go to the mandatory attendance quiz and it is word-for-word the same mandatory attendance quiz as the C# class, down to the final question "what is your personal email address so I can keep in contact with you after the semester?"

I look at the syllabus.

Class grade is based on quizzes. We have assignments but none of them are graded. There's no textbook, just a series of videos from Professor Bob's Programming Academy.

So I'd been toying with staying at this school and trying to take more CS classes instead of going to another school, just to try to keep my records easier to manage, but since it seems like that *ENTIRE DEPARTMENT* is five Professor Bobs in a trenchcoat, I will probably be going somewhere else (and once again trying to force myself to do projects that I already know are *good for me to do* but *useless for the class and a massive time suck*)

I should drop this class. I should drop this class and apply for the other school so that I can start taking classes there in the spring because if I take this class and then go into the object oriented programming class in the spring and it's another professor bob sock puppet and I end up taking twelve units of programming classes where all I learn is how to google answers in a short time frame (something I already know how to do thanks) I am going to fucking lose it.

Also, again: I have a Bachelor's Degree. I spent five years at a community college when I was getting that degree. I took probably a dozen online classes starting in 2005 and going until 2011 in the process of getting that degree.

THIS bullshit, this "I'm your professor but actually I'm not and all the materials were created by someone else in the department or came directly from the textbook publisher and there is no writing and there are no assignments everything is multiple choice quizzes that are automatically graded" is *dogshit.*

This is NOT how online classes worked back in my day, not even online math classes, and as much as I know adjuncts are getting fucked over by academia in general, this isn't something that these professors should be getting paid as much as they are to do. Alice checked whether or not students turned in a hello world assignment and gave a pass/fail grades for three discussion boards that were responses to youtube videos. Nothing else in the class required her input. If this is the level of instruction that students are getting then the class is already automated and the students shouldn't have to pay for it.

This is crap. This is an incredible level of crap.

[glowup-princess]

ʜᴏᴡ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴛᴜᴅʏ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʜᴇʀᴍɪᴏɴᴇ ɢʀᴀɴɢᴇʀ

Hermione Granger is known for her exceptional study habits and academic prowess in the Harry Potter series.

1. Plan and Organize

Keep a schedule: Use a planner, calendar, or digital tool to track assignments, deadlines, and study sessions.

Set priorities: Tackle the most challenging or urgent tasks first.

Break it down: Divide larger projects into smaller, manageable steps.

2. Be Consistent

Study daily: Dedicate a specific time each day to review and reinforce your knowledge.

Avoid procrastination: Stay ahead of your workload to reduce stress.

3. Use Resources Wisely

Books and notes: Hermione always turned to books for answers. Take comprehensive notes and reference reliable materials.

Library time: Visit a quiet space, like a library, to minimize distractions and focus.

4. Engage in Active Learning

Ask questions: Be curious and seek to understand concepts deeply.

Teach others: Explaining what you've learned helps solidify your knowledge.

Practice regularly: Use practice tests, flashcards, or summaries to reinforce what you’ve learned.

5. Stay Disciplined

Avoid distractions: Put away your phone or use apps to block distractions during study sessions.

Stick to routines: Set a study ritual to signal your brain it’s time to focus.

6. Collaborate Strategically

Study groups: Join or form study groups with peers who are equally motivated to learn.

Share knowledge: Like Hermione, help others while also learning from their insights.

7. Self-Care Matters

Get enough sleep: Prioritize rest to enhance memory and concentration.

Eat healthy snacks: Fuel your brain with nutritious food while studying.

Take breaks: Use techniques like the Pomodoro Method to maintain focus and prevent burnout.

8. Be Resourceful

Seek help: Don’t hesitate to approach teachers or mentors if you’re stuck.

Use technology: Take advantage of apps, videos, and online tutorials to supplement your learning.

9. Embrace Curiosity

Learn beyond the syllabus: Hermione often read extra material for deeper understanding.

Stay inquisitive: Cultivate a genuine love for learning.

10. Confidence and Perseverance

Believe in yourself: Even when faced with challenges, trust your preparation and abilities.

Don’t fear mistakes: Learn from them and use them as stepping stones.

Remember take care of your best weapon (spoiler: it's you <3)

pt.2?

Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated <3

[plushyparfait]

DEATH NOTE UNIVERSITY/COLLEGE AU (because why not?)

part one :: Near , Mello , L

Random headcanons & art

Near

1. Near is the president of the university’s robotics club.

2. He never attends lectures in person, only watching recordings.

• Near prefers solitude and finds social interaction draining. Watching lectures at his own pace allows him to stay focused and avoid distractions.

3. He plays competitive online chess between classes.

• Near enjoys mental challenges and chess offers a way to test his strategies and keep his mind sharp while relaxing.

4. Near’s dorm room looks more like you just stepped into a Toys R Us than a place where someone sleeps.

• His collection of puzzles, toys, and models are a source of comfort and focus, keeping his mind stimulated even when he’s not working.

5. He wears the same hoodie almost every day, claiming it reduces decision fatigue.

• Near simplifies his wardrobe to focus more on his studies and hobbies, seeing no point in making unnecessary daily decisions about clothing!

6. He never raises his hand in class but always gets the highest scores on exams

• Near doesn’t care at all about showing off or impressing professors; his only concern is understanding the material.

7. Near has a meticulous calendar and study schedule, but only he understands it.

• His methodical approach to everything extends to his study habits, though his system appears insanely chaotic to others, it works perfectly for him.

8. He’s known for sketching detailed robots during lectures instead of taking notes.

• Near finds doodling and sketching helps him focus on the lecture, as his mind works better with a hands-on task to accompany the information.

9. He orders takeout almost every day, refusing to cook.

• Near considers cooking an inefficient use of time and would rather spend his energy on intellectual pursuits or working on projects. (At least that's what HE says to hide the fact he'd probably find a way to burn water whilst boiling it)

10. Near loves to leave cryptic or downright weird messages on the dorm bulletin board for fun (or to freak people out since no one's figured out who the hell''s been doing it)

Mello

1. Mello has a part-time job at a trendy coffee shop/cafe, but he always brings his laptop to work on assignments.

• Mello thrives in fast-paced environments and enjoys the energy of the café, but he’s too ambitious to let work get in the way of his academic goals.

2. He takes pride in his motorcycle and often rides it to campus even if it’s impractical.

3. Mello constantly competes with classmates, turning everything into a challenge.

4. He studies late into the night, fueled by energy drinks and chocolate.

• Sometimes, Mello’s intense personality and desire to outdo everyone pushes him to work harder than most, even at the expense of his health, so I can see him always bothering L or A to root through their med stash on a bad day.

5. He has a secret stash of stress balls, even though he pretends he doesn’t need them.

• Despite preferring to act tough, Mello gets easily stressed/anxious, and stress balls are a discreet way to manage his anxiety. He rather keep his peace and not get his issues looked at.

6. Mello never misses gym days, using working out as a way to release his aggression.

• Physical activity helps Mello balance his high-strung self, giving him a productive outlet for his frustrations.

7. He writes essays/assignments at the last minute because he couldn't actually be bothered but always manages to get top marks.

8. He has a complicated love-hate relationship with Near’s success.

• Mello and Near attended the same high school since Year 8. Mello resents Near for his calm, effortless brilliance but also deeply respects him as his closest intellectual rival.

9. He’s notorious for bringing loud snacks (like Doritos or Lindt) into quiet study spaces, just to annoy people. People being Mikami or A.

• Mello likes stirring the pot and pushing boundaries, even in the smallest ways just for the giggles but will ease up if someone is actually super upset.

10. Mello refuses to share study notes with anyone, even his friends. He rather watch you bleed out or something. Fend for yourself.

L

1. L sleeps in the student lounge more often than in his dorm.

• His irregular sleeping habits caused by his insomnia mean he’ll nap wherever he is when he’s too exhausted to stay awake, and he values convenience over comfort. Mikami's sick of having him curl up in his shower every time he invites him over.

2. He has an entire drawer in his room dedicated to different types of sweets.

• He CLAIMS it HELPS him think faster and stay alert during long study sessions. Liar. He's just a greedy little fellow.

3. L uses his position as a teaching assistant/tutor to solve difficult academic problems instead of actually helping students.

• L is more interested in challenging his own intellect than in teaching, so he sees the TA role as a way to gain access to tricky questions for giggles. Some poor students are ready to stone him for it....

4. He refuses to wear shoes to lectures and insists that thinking requires “maximum comfort.” If you say otherwise you're committing a hate crime.

• L’s eccentric habits extend to his fashion choices, and he’s convinced that anything uncomfortable distracts from his ability to concentrate, hence choosing more minimalist-type clothing. Sometimes he gets bullied into wearing shoes by Mr. Wammy. Sometimes.

5. L often shows up to class with food stains on his clothes because he’s always eating something.

6. He writes all of his assignments in incredibly small, illegible handwriting, frustrating professors.

• L doesn’t care about neatness, only content, and figures if he can read it, others should be able to, too. Poor you if you can't.

7. L has a habit of texting weird messages to his friends late at night of whatever the hell comes to his brain.

• His thought process often leads him down really fucking strange paths, and he enjoys sharing odd observations or philosophical musings at random hours. Light's just learnt to ignore him but Mikami's a light sleeper and too people-pleasing so he succumbs to the peer pressure and listens to L's nonsense. At least it's interesting sometimes.

8. He never takes notes during lectures but still scores perfectly on every exam.

• L has a photographic memory and trusts his ability to recall important information without needing to write anything down.

9. L never shows up to social events but always seems to know what drama happened at them before anyone else in the friend group.

• He’s highly observant and picks up details from casual conversations or watching people closely, even without directly participating. We love a nosy king who stays on top of campus nonsense.

10. He likes balancing objects in lectures from books to erasers etc just to see how tall he can make his towers. Sometimes even the lecturer gets distracted when they get too tall and wants to see what'll happen.

NEXT: MATT , BEYOND/BB, A/ADAM

notes: i'm actually a bit pleased that my art's improving a little! aside from that, i wanted this au out my brain so bad and i finally did thank god. then i can probably start a mini series (???) we'll see.

[weeeeeekly]

“are you okay?” – mark lee x gn!reader

₊✩｡🕷˚🕸⋆｡₊✩｡🕷˚🕸⋆｡₊✩｡🕷˚🕸⋆｡₊✩｡🕷˚🕸｡

blurb On Earth-127, Mark is an ordinary biomed major at Neo Culture Institute of Technology, but when he’s not studying for class, he’s out saving New York City as Spider-Man. The job is hard, but he manages it. It also doesn’t hurt that his new friend is just his type.

info not edited, no afab/fem mention, mainly gender neutral, no reader body shape mention, no use of y/n, swearing, non-idol au, college au, college student!mark, spiderman!mark (obvi), reader is assigned lactose intolerant. johnny & jaehyun as mark’s besties. mark & reader are 22 and johnny & jaehyun are 24. everyone else is 21. ft. jungwoo & 00 line of nct/riize as frat bros. loosely based off a combo of the mcu spider-man movies, ncit house, 200 music video, & superman ii

WARNINGS!!! SFW but MDNI 18+ blog, kinda suggestive but nothing explicit in this, swearing, mentions of almost dying, not proofread just pure free flowing thought, mention of vaping (not by mark or reader), & mention of consuming alcohol

wc: 7.8k

author’s note !! HAPPY belated MFING BIRTHDAY TO MY BEAUTIFUL BOYF MARK LEE. i meant to post this right after 200 came out, then for his birthday, and now it’s finally finished as an early birthday present for myself… this is very much self-indulgent.

a passion project if you will. i hope there are others that also have spider-mark brain rot. ESPECIALLY AFTER 200!!! it was bad before like in the ncit house video, but it’s even worse now. a real labor of love except everything i do is a labor of love because why would i write about something i’m not passionate about in my free time.

this is FICTION!!!!! everything is made up by me or inspired by the mcu spider-man movies, ncit house video, & mark’s 200 music video. the stuff written out is not meant to be a representation of the people, places, or ideas mentioned.

₊✩｡🕷˚🕸⋆｡₊✩｡🕷˚🕸⋆｡₊✩｡🕷˚🕸⋆｡₊✩｡🕷˚🕸｡

Mark loves his job.

Nothing made him happier than donning the red and blue one-piece suit with the arachnoid symbol on the center of the chest and pulling down the matching mask. He was pretty proud of his sewing skills. Hopefully the elderly owner of the downtown fabric store never puts the puzzle pieces together.

He was still fairly new to being Spider-Man – only being bitten at the beginning of last semester and using the summer to work out the kinks – this spring semester would show his improvement.

His school schedule was class schedule was calm with classes only on Tuesday and Thursday in the morning and evening with the rest online. With the perfect amount of time throughout busy days to sneak away to patrol the city. The rest of the weekdays were dedicated to working at the college radio station. It allowed Mark to work around his own schedule as he could pre-record segments and cue up pre-made playlists.

The morning of the first day of the new semester was looking like an average day, helping civilians with minimal tasks like crossing busy streets and saving pets in trees.

Swinging to university was his favorite form of transportation as it was convenient but at the same time fun as sailing through the air was incomparable to any other experience. Mark landed on the roof of the old bell tower as he quickly changed into a pair of clothes he stashed in a hidden backpack on the ceiling ledge. Nothing too exciting, just a maroon tee, brown cargo pants, and black converse. He made quick work to stash his suit inside his backpack and slung it over his shoulder.

He walked down the spiral staircase as he put on his headphones and checked his phone.

            apartment 721

johnny dude r u coming to shoot some hoops?

jaehyun are we playing basketball or should I skip for football practice?

mark be there in 5

Mark raced across the university lawn, passing unassuming students that would never know his secret. The early morning hours provided more security for his secret as most people around him were either too busy rushing to their 8 AM lecture or too tired from pulling another all-nighter.

When he reached the basketball courts, Mark tucked his bag in between Jaehyun’s massive athletic bag and Johnny’s decked out in pins and patches. The duo was goofing off with a basketball as they made obnoxious moves before shooting for the hoop.

“Hey guys, sorry I’m late.”

Johnny pauses as he turns toward his best friend before tossing the ball. Mark effortlessly catches it due to his built-up reflexes from stopping local crimes.

“Yo guess who finally decided to show up.” Johnny remarks as Mark makes a 3 pointer.

Jaehyun and Johnny both share a look as the former greets Mark, “You’ve gotten really good at basketball in a short amount of time… like crazy good.”

“Yeah man. You used to not be able to even get the ball in while standing still, but now you’re even better than Mr. Team Captain over here.”

Mark shrugs as he dribbles the ball, “I’m not even close to Jaehyun’s level, dude. He’s the best player.”

“Okay then go to the other side of the court and make it in.”

Mark looks at Johnny as Jaehyun chugs some water but gives in as he walks to the end of the court.

Mark is pretty sure that his sharp reflexes only work for short distances or when he’s out being Spider-Man, so the dare shouldn’t tip his best friends off. Mark dribbles the ball a bit before throwing the ball in the direction of the hoop.

Luckily, the ball goes over the hoop and proving to Johnny and Jaehyun that he still sucks at basketball, but unluckily almost hits a passerby.

You.

“Airball!”

You turn to the source of the noise as you let out a surprised yell as you duck to avoid the rouge basketball, falling to the ground and letting out a string of curses. Mark rushes over after his Spidey senses went off, shooting a ball of webs to knock it off its course of hitting you.

“Are you okay?”

You look up to see a concerned Mark as he helps you up, “Dude, I am so sorry. That could have ended really badly. Did you get hurt? Do you need to go to the hospital?”

Johnny and Jaehyun follow Mark to check up on you as you stare at the 3 attractive men paying too much attention to you.

“I’m okay, really. I didn’t even get hit. Just was caught off guard.”

The trio are unconvinced as they inspect your arms and head. Mark is focused on checking for any injury – even a millimeter of a scratch – on your right arm as Jaehyun checks the range of motion on your left arm and Johnny is asking you how many fingers he’s holding up.

“I’m not hurt, but I’ll still get checked up the clinic.” You bargain to get the attractive strangers to stop dotting over you.

“I’ll walk you!” Mark volunteers as he grabs your backpack off the floor and waves bye to his friends. Johnny and Jaehyun refuse to leave until they exchange their number with you to check up but also to make it up to you later. You tell them that it’s not necessary, but the pair insist as Mark gets you to leave.

He quickly introduces himself and you do it in return. Walking to the clinic was peaceful as both you and Mark’s steps were in sync. The crisp spring air helped calm your nerves. You know that you weren’t hurt but it would be best to get a check-up by a nurse.

“I’m really sorry again.”

“Apology accepted.”

“Let’s just get you to the clinic.”

₊✩｡🕷˚🕸⋆｡₊✩｡🕷˚🕸⋆｡₊✩｡🕷˚🕸⋆｡₊✩｡🕷˚🕸｡

After a quick check-up with a nurse, you are deemed “okay” with no external or internal injuries. Mark gives you back your backpack as you thank him and are returned with another long string of apologies.

“Here, let me – no us – make it up to you.” Mark opens his phone to create a group chat between the four of you.

            we’re sorry

            mark if ur free this week we would like to buy u lunch

            bc dinner sounds like a date

            not that we wouldn’t date u

            u seem great !

            this is mark btw

            johnny what mark is trying to say is that we don’t want to make you uncomfortable

but we also want to make it up to you so lunch this week - johnny

            jaehyun it’s jaehyun i know a great café w vegan options

            you you guys really don’t have to make it up to me

            i’m okay !! a nurse checked me

            johnny thank god ur not hurt

“So, are you free this week?”

You look away from your phone at Mark staring at you. You quickly look away at the students walking past you. You feel nervous as Mark is cute and being near him is not helping your poor heart.

“Yeah, I can do Wednesday or this weekend.”

You have to work Monday, Wednesday, and Friday with your two in-person classes on the other days and your two fully online classes spread throughout the week. Luckily, working at the bookstore on campus was flexible and allowed you to complete homework whenever you had free time.

“I know this is an annoying question, but what’s your year and major?”

“I’m a sophomore majoring in Health Sciences.”

Mark’s eyes light up, “I’m a sophomore too! But I’m a Biomed major. We’re kinda in similar majors.”

“We might even have a class together.” You joke and let out a laugh, but your mouth shuts as Mark has his printed schedule in hands and extended in your direction.

Your joke turns out to be true as you both share the same evening class on Tuesday and Thursday. Which is a good thing because at least you know someone in that class. A friend possibly.

“Do you work?”

“I work at the radio, so if you ever tune into 27.1 FM you will hear playlists I put together.”

“Ugh, that sounds like such a fun job. I work at the bookstore. I mean, don’t get me wrong I like it there, but it’s never busy for my shifts.”

A notification on Mark’s phone makes him freeze up, but before you can ask what’s wrong he quickly bids you goodbye as he rushes off. You decide to head to work and hope that nothing else out of the ordinary happens today.

₊✩｡🕷˚🕸⋆｡₊✩｡🕷˚🕸⋆｡₊✩｡🕷˚🕸⋆｡₊✩｡🕷˚🕸｡

On the plus side, your shared class with Mark has been going well so far. During the first class the day after you met him, you got to the classroom early and saved him a seat.

You watch as people slowly trickle into class as you held out a small hope that Mark would want to sit next to you. The class was almost full with just a handful of seats left – two directly in front of the professor’s podium, one in the very back by the other door, and the one you’ve been saving. He arrives at the last minute, and you watch him scan the room, hopefully looking for you, but once your eyes meet and Mark grins, your heart started racing.

Squeezing between people already in their seats, he reaches the open seat as you move your backpack from the chair to under the table. The professor starts the first day lecture of going over the syllabus, but you tune them out as your attention was… elsewhere.

Mark sits next to you, typing on his laptop as the professor talks. His outfit is a simple green hoodie with tan cargo pants and beat up black converse, yet the outfit compliments him. His hair is fluffy and a little messy as he runs his hand through it in an attempt to fix it. You notice that he’s breathing hard like he ran to get to class. You reach into your backpack to grab your water bottle and place it next to his hand. Mark pauses from typing notes as you turn your head back to the professor.

“Thanks.” He mumbles as he drinks the water.

“Don’t worry, I have another water bottle in my car. You can just give it back to me next class.” You whisper back while pretending to be interested in the professor’s grading policy.

When the second class rolls around, you’re surprised to see Mark is the first person in class, sitting in the same spot with his backpack on the seat you were sitting in last time and your water bottle on the table.

₊✩｡🕷˚🕸⋆｡₊✩｡🕷˚🕸⋆｡₊✩｡🕷˚🕸⋆｡₊✩｡🕷˚🕸｡

Saturday is the only day you are all free for lunch. Jaehyun, who keeps telling you to call him Jae, promises that this lunch will be the best lunch of your life and how he knows a worker. He’s brought it up every time he saw you while you were working. Johnny was no help either as he kept asking you super specific questions you would have no idea how to answer.

Johnny leans on a display table full of notebooks while flipping through a psychology textbook, “What kind of wood is this table?”

You let out another deep sigh as you put on your customer service voice to answer yet another question from Johnny Suh. “Sorry, I don’t know.”

“Do you know someone who would?”

Johnny smirks as he puts on his sunglasses. You turn around to reshelve new chemistry textbooks when a tap on your shoulder has you seeing Jaehyun holding a cookbook open.

“Do you like” He turns the cookbook back to himself as he squints, “Maultaschen?”

“What do you know about Germany?”

Jaehyun closes the cookbook as he shoots you his best dimpled smile, “Nothing.”

“Guys, I’m trying to work.”

“Yeah, and we’re being customers.”

Johnny sasses you as he pushes the cart of textbooks away from you. “Don’t pretend that we don’t make your shifts better.”

You can’t argue that because it is true, but you’re also afraid that your boss might think you’re slacking and goofing around with friends on the clock.

“I do love it when you guys come see me while I’m working, but I don’t want my boss to think I’m slacking.”

Jaehyun leans on your shoulder as he looks around the empty bookstore. “Bro, you’re the best employee here by far, but if your boss thinks otherwise, we can give a good review.”

“You? Slacking?” Johnny lets out a laugh as puts some textbooks on the highest shelf. “Slacking is scared of you. And Spider-Man.”

“Here he goes.” Jaehyun rolls his eyes as Johnny scoffs.

“Spider-Man is the coolest superhero ever. I’m jealous of all the people that get to see him work in real time.”

“Spider-Man?”

Johnny’s jaw drops, “Yo… you don’t know Spider-Man? You know, the masked guy in blue and red and has a spider sign on his chest. Stops bank robbers and saves people in car crashes. The friendly neighborhood Spider-Man?”

“Oh�� his name is Spider-Man?”

“Yeah. I don’t wanna brag, but” Johnny leans closer to you, “I basically coined the name. The story’s really cool and super long, so I’ll save it for lunch.”

The other brunette fixes his backpack straps, “I should head to basketball practice soon, but we’ll text you later with the details. See you tomorrow.”

The duo leaves you to finish your tasks, but with less work as they helped while talking to you. You can’t help fighting the smile on your face at the idea of having plans with friends.

Lunch! With friends! Friends that you made in university and not the same friends you had back home that you knew from elementary school.

Maybe things were looking up for you.

₊✩｡🕷˚🕸⋆｡₊✩｡🕷˚🕸⋆｡₊✩｡🕷˚🕸⋆｡₊✩｡🕷˚🕸｡

Spider-Man business had never been easier. Petty thefts had gone down. The city was running smoothly like normal, which was great for Mark as he could focus on schoolwork and improving his swinging skills.

Currently, the vigilante was patrolling the city on the lookout for any danger. Nothing was coming through the crime watch app connected to his watch. He has 10 more minutes until lunch with Johnny, Jaehyun, and You.

Once he reaches the café building’s rooftop, Mark drops down and enters through the stairwell door going directly into the janitor’s room to change. The doors are unlocked, which is not the safest but it’s convenient for Mark, he quickly changes into a white tee, light wash jeans, and the same black converse. The suit and mask are stuffed into his backpack as he goes back out to the roof to web down to the ground to enter through the café entrance like a normal person.

He's constantly on the lookout as he drops down near the trash bins. When he walks in, Mark is the first out of your group to arrive. He snags a booth in the corner as he checks his phone.

            we’re sorry

            mark i got us a booth

            jaehyun be there in 5

            image attached

Mark smiles at the selfie Jaehyun took with him and Johnny on either side of you. Jaehyun does a peace sign pose, Johnny is making a kissy face, and you’re just softly smiling. A smile that Mark Lee cannot look away from.

“What are you looking at?”

Mark gets spooked by you as Johnny and Jaehyun slide into the opposite side leaving you to sit next to him. He quickly locks his phone as his roommates give him teasing looks.

The server, Na Jaemin from fraternity Dream, hands out menus and readies his tablet. “Hi. Can I get you all started with any drinks?”

“2 vanilla iced coffees, 1 mango smoothie, and 1 ice matcha latte with coconut milk.” Johnny easily recites as Jaemin types it.

“I’ll be back with those as you look over the menu.”

As Jaemin walks away, you look surprised at Johnny, “How did you know my drink order?”

“You’ve sent a selfie with the same drink the past three days.”

You slump back against the cushion. “That’s embarrassing.”

“Not as embarrassing as Johnny thinking he named Spider-Man.”

Mark tenses at the mention of his other identity. He steals a glance in your direction to see if you noticed, but you’re too busy watching his friends start bickering.

“Bro! I totally did!”

“No, dude. You did not.”

Before the duo can start up another pointless fight, you remind Johnny of his story time.

“At least someone’s interested. As I was saying before, it was early October last year and I was walking to the subway when this massive car crash happened in front of me. I thought I was going to get killed, but then I was suddenly out of the way. Some dude in spandex had pulled me out of the way of one of the cars and then he started pulling people out of the wreck. He even jumped over a 10-ton truck. It was insane. After the fire department and ambulance came to help, the dude shot out a web and it came to me, “Spider-Man”, so I yelled that, and he turned around to give me a thumbs up before swinging away. So basically Spider-Man owes me for that copyright, but I’ll let it slide because he saved my life.”

Mark laughs at Johnny’s retelling of the story because of the way he tells people. The superhero was just glad that he had the spidey sense to save one of his best friends.

Jaemin comes back with the drinks and takes food orders.

“Spider-Man is cool. I’m a fan.”

Mark chokes on the first sip of his smoothie from your casual confession as Johnny high fives you.

“Why do you like the Spider Boy?” Jaehyun questions you. Mark sits up slightly straighter in his seat as he focuses all his attention on your answer.

“Do you remember that major subway incident where some asshole pushed that lady onto the tracks?”

The guys nod their heads.

“I was waiting for the train when it happened. I didn’t see the asshole that did it as I was on my phone, but then the frantic yelling of people started and some good samaritans trying to help the lady off the tracks. Then, all of the sudden, Spider-Man runs in and saves her. Thank god he did before the train arrived and he calmed her down while she told him about the person who did it. I just remember feeling so useless but wanting to do more.”

Mark looks over at you as you stir your drink with a spoon, his heart sinking as he remembers. It was the first time he became a hero. The first person he saved – Ms. Smith works at the corner flower shop that his mom loves.

“And I even… never mind.”

“No finish your sentence.”

“Johnny’s going to make fun of me.”

“I won’t let him.”

“Well, I kinda have a crush on him.” You immediately put your head between your arms on the table in an effort to hide away.

Mark freezes at your confession as Jaehyun lets out an “awe” and Johnny’s jaw drops.

“You like Spider-Man?”

“I know. How do you even like a person when you’ve never seen their face, but it’s his personality. In every story about him saving or helping others, he’s always described as the nicest person ever.”

Mark’s ears are turning red from the compliment. He would have asked for what else you thought about Spider-Man, but Jaemin came back with their orders.

“Yo Jaehyun, are you coming to DREAM’s party Friday?”

“I should be free next week if that invitation extends to my friends.”

“Any friend of Jaehyun’s is a friend of mine. Can you get the football team to bring kegs again? Haechan’s throwing the party this time and he won’t shut the fuck up about it.”

“I can get the guys together to do that. I’ll text him.”

“Thanks man. Enjoy your food, guys.”

₊✩｡🕷˚🕸⋆｡₊✩｡🕷˚🕸⋆｡₊✩｡🕷˚🕸⋆｡₊✩｡🕷˚🕸｡

You and Mark meet up and walk to class together. He fills you in on all the bullshit Johnny and Jaehyun got into over the weekend. Something about making a short film where they switch bodies and tried to get Mark to film it.

Before you both can enter the building where your class is, the distant sound of sirens gets closer. You ignore it as you go to open the door, but Mark stops you.

“I, um, have a family emergency so I’ll miss class. Text me. Bye.” Mark weirdly stammers before giving you a quick hug.

You’re left standing in shock as he runs away.

Mark runs to the dumpster behind the university as he quickly changes into his suit. He stuffs his clothes in his backpack and webs it to a lamppost before heading into action. His spidey sense alerted him as soon as the sirens passed, and the app informed him of a fire in an apartment complex a street up.

Once he swings onto the scene, firefighters are battling the fire and evacuating the building. Mark propels himself to the top floor to check for any civilians.

You’re concerned about Mark as he left abruptly and isn’t responding to any of your texts.

            you i hope your family emergency isn’t too serious

            just let me know you’re ok!

            we didn’t do too much in class, but i’ll send my notes

            going to the library after class to print something for a class

You’ve never been to the library at 10 PM on a Tuesday night, but there’s a first time for everything. It was shitty that your printer in your dorm had to stop working last night. The first floor of the library was unsurprisingly packed with students as the university’s coffee shop was adjoined and open until 2 AM.

You got into the elevator as the printers were located on the fourth floor. The fourth floor was empty because most people preferred to keep electronic files electronic, but of course your morning class’ professor made the class print their papers to turn in.

Printing the paper was a quick task. There was certainly no line to wait in. You tuck the sacred 5-page paper into a folder to keep pristine and leave the library. You check your phone again for any word from Mark, but nothing. You go to call him, but then the elevator jerks to a stop as the light shuts off. You press the emergency call button and wait for an operator. You try calling Mark again, but your phone can’t get cell service and your battery’s dying.

Sinking to your knees, you hang your head between your hands as the ringing becomes background noise.

₊✩｡🕷˚🕸⋆｡₊✩｡🕷˚🕸⋆｡₊✩｡🕷˚🕸⋆｡₊✩｡🕷˚🕸｡

Mark rushes back to university after the fire, swiftly changing back and shoving his suit into his bag. He checks his phone to see the texts from you and calls you. When your call goes immediately to voicemail, he knows something is wrong.

The hair on the back of his neck stands up and Mark books it to the library. The first floor is filled with chatter and students looking normal so he knows that only you must be in trouble. He goes to the elevators where there’s a student waiting for one.

“Are you waiting for the elevator?”

The girl looks up from texting, “Yup, the other one isn’t working again. Ugh so annoying.”

Fuck.

The other elevator returns and Mark steps in with the girl. She presses the next floor and goes back to her phone.

A million scenarios play out in Mark’s mind. Were you claustrophobic? How long have you been stuck in the elevator? Were you alone?

The silent ride was eating him alive as every second felt like an eternity.

When the doors open and Mark basically throws himself out of the elevator as the girl walks around him, judging. Mark’s senses aren’t going off on the second or third floor, he goes up again.

The second the elevator starts moving up to the fourth floor, his senses kick in. When the doors open, Mark calls out your name. When your muffled voice responds from the neighboring elevator he sighs in relief.

“Mark, can you help me?”

“Is help on the way?”

“No.” Mark starts freaking out. “The emergency button doesn’t work, and my phone died a little while ago, but it wouldn’t even help because my service wasn’t working.”

“Why didn’t you call 911?”

“I’m not dying or in serious trouble!”

“W-what? This is an emergency! Hold on let me get someone!”

Mark runs down the hallway and quick changes into Spider-Man. He shoves his backpack behind a printer in the back corner and runs back to you.

Mark clears his throat before speaking in a lower tone, “Hi!”

“Um hi?”

“I’m going to open the elevator doors, so please stand back!”

“Okay!”

Mark places his hands in the middle of both doors as he pushes the doors open by force. After getting them open he holds out a hand to you as you look at him, well Spider-Man, in shock.

“Spider-Man?”

“Are you okay?”

You feebly nod as you allow Mark to pull you towards him.

“Are you sure you’re fine? I can take you to a clinic.”

You shake your head as Mark leads you down the stairs to the first floor while calming you down, passing confused or excited students. When both of you reach the entrance, Mark tells a skeptical security guard about the broken elevator.

Mark is about to swing away to change when you grab his hand. “Did you see my friend? He has brown hair, brown eyes, wearing a yellow hoodie?”

“I sensed there was someone in trouble and he said he was finding a janitor.”

“Thanks, I’ll go find him. And, um, thank you again.”

Mark looks into your eyes full of gratitude and sends you a wave before swinging away. He makes sure to get far enough before u-turning to the back of the library to change. 5 minutes later, he’s running around to the entrance where you are still standing in shock.

Mark pulls you into a hug as you tell him how Spider-Man saved you.

₊✩｡🕷˚🕸⋆｡₊✩｡🕷˚🕸⋆｡₊✩｡🕷˚🕸⋆｡₊✩｡🕷˚🕸｡

Haechan’s party was tonight, and you had no idea what you were going to wear.

Jaehyun had surprised you at 8 in morning by waking you up, endlessly calling your phone until you told him the password to open the door. A code you were going to immediately change after he leaves.

“Jae, it’s too early for any bullshit.”

He moves his sunglasses from his face to push back his hair, looking dangerously sexy. You have to shield your eyes from his blinding attractiveness.

“I need some help getting the kegs from Jungwoo.”

“Ugh,” You draw out the word as you throw one of your extra pillows at him which he catches, “I don’t want to get up.”

“Okay.” Jaehyun says as he effortlessly picks you up from your bed. “Now you’re up.”

“Put me down, Jeong.”

“Woah, not the last name. Putting you down.”

He gently sets you on your feet from the princess carry he was holding you in.

“I don’t want to know where you’re storing all that muscle to be able to pick me up.”

He smirks, “Wanna see my 8 pack?”

“Absolutely not. Now stand outside in the lobby so I can change.”

You meet him in the lobby after quickly throwing on an oversized shirt and biker shorts. You check over your bag that you have everything you need for the day – your phone, lip balm, sunscreen, your wallet, hand sanitizer, blotting sheets, and your water bottle.

“Okay, I guess I’m ready to tackle the day with you.”

“Don’t worry, we’re not doing anything too crazy.”

“I have very little trust in you at 8:30 AM.”

He puts his free hand on his chest as he fakes getting hurt, “You wound me.”

You roll your eyes in response as you start walking out of your dorm building, Jaehyun following you from behind.

Jaehyun leads the way to the football field as you walk next to him. The walk isn’t too bad and soon enough you hear various guys yelling and spot footballs flying through the air.

“Hey Jungwoo!”

A shirtless, blonde guy jogs up to the you two and dabs Jaehyun up.

“Hey Captain! I thought you weren’t coming to practice until later?” Jungwoo smiles before turning to you, “Oh, and you are?”

You politely introduce yourself as Jungwoo stares into your soul. “It’s a shame I haven’t seen your pretty face around.”

His remark takes you aback as you turn in shock to Jaehyun.

“Right? Imagine my surprise when I saw her for the first time.”

You avoid eye contact, not sure how to respond. “Um… thanks. We’re here to pick up some kegs?”

“Oh right! Let me get Yangyang.”

Jungwoo calls out to another guy behind him, thankfully he is clothed because you don’t know if you could survive another attractive, shirtless guy. He runs up as he greets you.

“I have it in my car, so follow me. Jungwoo, tell coach I went to the nurse or something.”

“Okay!”

Jungwoo jogs off to get back to practice. You and Jaehyun follow Yangyang to his car so he can drop you off at the DREAM frat house. The drive is short since the fraternity and sorority houses are near campus and the sports facilities.

Outside of the DREAM fraternity house on the front lawn are a few guys running around with water guns. The three of you get out of the car, grabbing their attention. Yangyang and Jaehyun wave at them causing one of them to run inside. As the kegs are being unloaded from the trunk, who you presume Haechan is, walks out.

The pretty boy with purple hair waves at you as he takes a hit from his neon green vape. He walks over as he blows a fat cloud into the air and pockets the vape.

He nods his head at you and leans against Yangyang’s car. “Hey.”

“Hi?”

“Are you coming to the party tonight?”

“Yeah?”

“Cool.” He wets his lips as he looks you up and down, “Wear something hot, ‘kay?”

“Okay?”

He gets off Yangyang’s car as he winks at you.

“Thanks for the kegs. I’ll get the guys to bring them into the garage.”

Haechan taps his phone causing the garage door to open showing you the set of workout equipment on the side and a black Porsche parked inside. 2 guys with blonde and Oreo hair come out from the door inside and start moving the kegs.

“Hey Shotaro! Hey Renjun!”

Jaehyun calls out as the frat bros wave back at him.

“So, are you ready to go?” Yangyang stands next to you as you nod. He opens the passenger door for you to get inside. Jaehyun sits smack in the middle in the uncomfortable seat so he can talk to you.

“What next?”

“Our pretty girl might need a shopping trip.”

You felt like the “ugly” but actually stunning main girl whose only transformation is taking off their glasses or hair out from a ponytail and it’s the makeover montage scene in a 2000s romcom. Jaehyun and Yangyang were running around in the local mall piling on different types of clothes into your arms to try on.

Two hours passed by already and you were getting sweaty from trying on the various combinations of tops, skirts or jeans, and dresses. It was annoyingly sweet of Jaehyun and Yangyang, who you just met today, to go out of their way to help you find something to wear.

“Honestly, I could find something in my closet or a thrift store.”

“If we don’t find something in the next 30 minutes I know a good thrift store.” Yangyang throws a black minidress at you and you let it hit your face.

₊✩｡🕷˚🕸⋆｡₊✩｡🕷˚🕸⋆｡₊✩｡🕷˚🕸⋆｡₊✩｡🕷˚🕸｡

As you walk down the street where Johnny parked while fixing the biker shorts under your dress.

Johnny opens the front door of the fraternity only for you to be greeted by the sight of a hundred or so people engaging in various acts of grinding, making out, drinking, or dancing to whatever playlist DJ Yangyang picked.

“Oh my god.” You walk in as Jaehyun and Johnny tail behind you, making sure to stare down anyone who looks at you in a mean or creepy way.

You smile and wave at Yangyang in the corner of the living room as he motions at your trio to come over. The three of you move through the crowd of people partying and try not to have any kind of alcohol accidentally spilling on your new outfit.

Yangyang removes the headphones from his head to his neck and talks in your ear, “You look hot!”

“Thank you! Can we get you anything?”

“Whatever has the least amount of alc by volume.”

“Got it.”

Johnny, Jaehyun, and You find the kitchen entrance behind Yangyang’s DIY DJ booth and open the various coolers filled with alcohol. Johnny helps you pick out Yangyang’s drink from the sea of canned beverages while Jaehyun gets drinks for you all.

As you walk back to give Yangyang his drink, Haechan is talking to him and spots you getting closer to them.

“Well, aren’t you a sight to behold.”

Haechan holds a handout as you take it, spinning you around him.

“That dress fits you perfectly.”

You shyly thank him as you did feel amazing in the red and black dress you bought at a thrift store after the three of you gave up at the mall earlier, but you hid the dress from them so you could pay for it. Jaehyun couldn’t stop staring at you and Johnny couldn’t stop complimenting you when they picked you up from your dorm. You felt that you needed to donate some of your old clothes to keep the good streak going.

The people around you start yelling and both of your heads turn in the direction of the kitchen when a loud crash is heard.

“Fuck. I bet someone tipped over a keg stand. Gotta go.”

He winks at you as he walks into the kitchen. You look around the room to see that J² are nowhere to be seen.

            you hey!! where did you guys go??

            johnny  we’re upstairs hanging with mark

            johnny jeno and jaemin are coming down to get u

You stand by the end of the staircase as you scroll on your phone when someone taps the back of your shoulder. Turning around to see 2 more beautiful guys as they smile at you. The guy with black hair and an undercut introduces himself as Jeno and the guy with brown hair introduces himself as Jaemin.

J² sent 2J to get you. Funny.

They kindly escort you upstairs, down a hallway on the left, and to the room at the end. The door has a sign that says

“HAECHANNIE’S ROOM!

LADIES - FREE

GUYS - $20”

You knock on the door and walk in after Johnny says it’s open.

“Hey.” You greet Johnny, Jaehyun, and Mark who are sitting on the bed with various drinks and snacks surrounding them. Mark moves a reuseable bag full of chips so you can sit next to him as Jeno and Jaemin sit on beanbags.

“So, how’s the party going for y’all?” You ask the frat bros as you dig into a bag of your favorite chips.

Jeno and Jaemin jump into a story of how Renjun challenged Haechan and Shotaro to a keg stand contest where Shotaro won and Haechan complained the rest of the time setting up. Haechan also must carry out a dare later tonight, but Renjun is keeping it a secret.

During the story, you keep looking at Mark to see his expressions throughout the story time. You like him, you realized this after Spider-Man saved you in the elevator, the way Mark comforted you and stayed with you the entire night. Even sleeping on the pull-out bed attached to your bed that was a little too small for him. Mark was paying attention to the story, but right after 2J finished telling the story, he abruptly gets up and runs out the room.

“Is Mark okay?” You ask bewildered as the rest of the guys are nonchalant.

“Oh yeah, Mark does this a lot.” Jaemin tells you as he takes a sip of his beer.

“Really?”

Johnny nods, “Yeah ever since the start of last year Mark’s been really weird like weirder than usual.”

“And stronger for some reason.” Jaehyun adds. “We started working out together last semester. When he thought I wasn’t looking, he maxed out the bench press. I can’t do that and I’m active in sports.”

“So now we think he’s doing steroids.”

“Dude don’t say that.”

“Kidding,” Johnny says as he looks at you. “But there is something going on… like he’s keeping a secret from us.”

“Are you insinuating that Mark is Spider-Man?”

Johnny shrugs. “I didn’t say that, but I also did not not say that.”

“I think you’ve had too much to drink, dude.”

“I’m literally sober. I have to drive you and Jaehyun home tonight.”

As you’re handing Johnny a bottle of water, Shotaro opens the door.

“Johnny or Jaehyun, can you please talk Haechan out of jumping from the roof into the pool.”

The two oldest guys let out a sigh as they get up to stop Haechan from doing something stupid and getting hurt.

₊✩｡🕷˚🕸⋆｡₊✩｡🕷˚🕸⋆｡₊✩｡🕷˚🕸⋆｡₊✩｡🕷˚🕸｡

Your little group stands outside on the pool deck as people crowd around the pool chanting at Haechan to “jump”. Johnny and Jaehyun are sticking their head out of someone’s room scolding a tipsy Haechan who is standing near the ledge. It’s only 7 feet between the roof and the pool, but the pool is another 6 feet to dive into and the entire situation just screams “danger” to you.

Haechan is getting dangerously close to the edge causing Johnny to step out onto the roof as Jaehyun holds one of his hands.

“Haechan, we’re bringing you inside.”

“No.” He puffs a cloud of vape into Johnny’s face.

“You’re being an asshole, get in.”

Haechan’s balance is off because as he steps back a bit, his right foot misses the ledge. You can’t watch. The crowd is yelling. You look away only to see a figure jump over the fence.

Spider-Man thwips a web to put an inflatable pool floatie a foot of the ground with another floatie under it to cushion Haechan’s fall. Thankfully, Haechan falls right on the floatie and is safe from breaking a bone or something worse on the concrete.

“Are you okay?” The masked hero asks Haechan as he helps him stand up and check his body.

An eerily similar situation that mirrors exactly what Mark did when you were almost hit by a basketball.

Rushing over to Haechan, you hug him as you’re actively scolding him.

“Never do that ever again! You could have broken your legs or spine or died!”

“Excuse me.” Spider-Man clears his throat as you turn your head to him. “Are you a friend of his?”

“Yes.”

“It would be best to check that he doesn’t have any injuries and keep him inside.”

“Johnny’s probably going to bubble wrap him now.”

“I have to go now but have a good night.”

Spider-Man waves you and everyone else at the party bye as the crowd cheers for him. He then swings out of DREAM’s backyard as Johnny, Jaehyun, Jeno, and Jaemin meet you outside. They all hug Haechan and scold him as well.

“You’re cut off.”

“Seriously?” Haechan whines.

“From everything. End of discussion.”

Most of the crowd disperses inside to tell or show their friends a video of Spider-Man saving Haechan. You’re putting the pool floaties back in the pool when you almost fall in.

“Hey–woah there!”

You look wide up at Mark, who appeared out of nowhere, holding your waist to stop you from accidentally falling in the pool.

“Mark! Thanks for saving me.”

“Anytime.”

You stand back up away from the pool ledge as you smile at Mark. You notice that he’s sweating a bit.

“Could we head inside? I, um, wanted to ask you something.”

He nods his head as the two of you walk inside and then upstairs where there aren’t that many people. You hear commotion in the hallway that leads to Haechan’s room. You’re both curious, so you walk down the hallway to see Jaehyun standing guard outside his room.

“What is happening?”

“Johnny is inside making sure Haechan can’t escape out his window. Well, if he can get out of the bubble wrap duct taped to his body.”

“Figures. Mark and I are going to talk in someone’s room.”

“Oh?” Jaehyun gives you a look.

“We’re not going to fuck in someone’s bed.”

“Sure it isn’t.”

Mark blushes as you grab his hand to walk away down the other hallway. You spot Shotaro standing outside his door.

“Hey Shotaro! Can we borrow your room to talk quickly?”

“Yeah! Just lock the door after and find me at the DJ booth when you’re done. I don’t want a repeat of the first day of summer party where someone threw up in my bed.”

“Of course, and don’t worry, we won’t fuck in your bed.”

You make Shotaro speechless and Mark blushes even harder. You open the door to Shotaro’s room and get inside. His room is cutely decorated with pictures of him alongside the rest of the fraternity and tiny little trinkets sprinkled throughout. The window is open and as you look out of it you can see that his room overlooks the grassy area beside the pool.

A thought comes into your head as you look at Mark who is sitting on Shotaro’s bed across from you.

“I’ve got a lot to say so please hear me out for its entirety.” He nods his head as you stand in front of him. “Mark, I have a crush on you. I thought you were cute the first time I saw you after that basketball almost took me out. I was so excited when we ended up sharing a class together and you sat next to me the next class after we met. Then when you comforted me after Spider-Man saved me. That was the moment I knew that I liked you. I like you, Mark. Maybe even more than that.”

He stares at you awestruck.

“It’s okay if you don’t like me back. Hope we can still be friends no matter what. I just want you to know.”

“I like you too. A lot. I liked you ever since I almost accidentally hit you with a basketball. I liked you when you were excited when you found out we shared a class. I liked you when you saved a seat for me and let me borrow your water bottle. I was so happy when you were safe from being trapped in an elevator. I really like you and, if you want to, I hope we can date.”

“I would love to date you, Mark, but now I’m going to do something that might ruin our relationship before it even starts?”

Mark looks adorably confused as you walk backwards to stand in front of the window.

“You know that I also have a crush on Spider-Man. And I’ve had this hunch since he saved me in the elevator. I didn’t realize it when it was happening due to the adrenaline, but then thinking back on it – when you left while we were walking to class that one time for a “family emergency” and Spider-Man had been spotted right helping firefighter put out a nearby fire. Then, I got stuck in the library elevator and Spider-Man miraculously came to save me. Sure, it could have been a coincidence since the fire was near the university, but I wasn’t in that dire of a situation. I could’ve waited for you to find me after I texted you. Then, just right now, you leave as we’re talking with 4J then when Haechan is in danger Spider-Man shows up in the nick of time to save him? In every situation I brought up, you were there then gone, Spider-Man shows up then leaves, and then you’re back? Never in the same room to witness the masked hero. Something’s not adding up.”

“Am I Spider-Man?” Mark asks while nervously laughing. “You mean you think I’m Spider-Man?”

“I’d bet my life on it.” You tell him seriously as you sit on the window ledge.

“That’s serious.”

“I am serious.”

You continue getting farther out of the window as you possibly can.

Mark slowly stands up, “What are you doing?”

“If I’m wrong… have 9-1-1 ready.”

You then lean back as you fall out of Shotaro’s window hearing Mark yell your name, you barely have your entire body out the window when you stop moving. Opening your eyes, bunches of white strings surround your head and shoulders – Mark slowly brings you back inside Shotaro’s room.

The silence between the two of you is deafening until you open your mouth.

“I fucking knew it.”

Marks hugs you tightly. “Please… never do that again. You scared me.”

“Do you still like me?”

“D-Do I still like you? Yes, I still like you very much.”

“I scared you that bad, huh?”

“What if I wasn’t Spider-Man? Then what? You fall and die?”

“I wouldn’t have done it unless I was sure. Would a kiss make you feel better?”

“A kiss away from the window and maybe on solid ground would.”

masterlist | bonus chapter

BONUS CHAPTER NSFW MDNI 18+, instead of a sweet confession to Mark you decide to tease his masked persona, the ending in an alternate universe like the alternate universe where this story was real life – posted 9/24/2024

[study-diaries]

How To Better Your Overall High School Experience From A Recently Passed Out Student

No drama, absolutely no drama. Don't get into trouble, it stirs negative emotions which is a waste of time.

It's not high school musical. I seriously am saying this, you won't just have "problems" that can be solved by just working together. Not everyone would be willing to be your friend/solve problems etc. Be okay with that.

Catch up on homework/assignments/tests/projects. Everything is so much easier when you actually are doing the work on time. Don't pile your work up until it becomes a mountain you can't climb without breaking down.

Don't take everything as "I'll manage" or "it's easy". Newsflash? The really important topic that you thought you'd wing it by studying the day before is actually way more complex and harder. So, take your books and do sit and study.

Stay with positive people. Your friends determine your energy. The people you surround yourself with represent your energy and mindset. So, choose friends wisely. Have a good friend circle.

Sleep on time. This is honestly one of the things i had difficulty in following because sometimes there's too much to do and absolutely no time. But is still say this because it's not impossible. I made sure to sleep before 11 or 12. Max would be 12:30.

Do courses! Lots and lots of them. The reason why i suggest this is because it literally enhanced my experience and my learning journey. It also gives you better opportunities during college admissions and for job interviews.

Have an idea of what you want to do in college and choose subjects accordingly. If you just entered High School and are in a position where you have to choose your subjects. Sit back and think "What am i going to do in college?" (I live in a place where what subjects you pick in high school would only open up opportunities in those fields.)

Choose subjects wisely and make sure to have a variety of subjects. Like languages, practical based and memorization based so you have options and won't get easily bored.

Build career paths. How? I again recommend courses. Even online courses like Coursera and Edx can highly make you experienced in your desired field. It's a roadway for more opportunities.

Save! Even if it is a dollar. Save money for things that you don't know you need in the future. It might help you. More than you think it would.

Build habits. Good habits. Waking up early, reading, exercising. Anything really. And be consistent with it.

Read! When i say this. I mean it. Read Everything. Self help books, business books, finance, romance, fantasy, dystopian, fiction, biographies. You don't know how this makes you develop into a another category of improvement. If you don't like reading, listen to audiobooks and podcasts.

Explore. Seriously. Be open minded. Everything is interesting but you must make it interesting.

Extra curriculars are a must. I seriously mean it, i don't remember much about academic achievements but i do remember all the main events and awards from clubs and competitions. That also doesn't mean you join everything under the sun, something interests you. Join it. If it doesn't, then don't.

Even if your friends aren't passionate about improvement etc, you can be friends with them. It doesn't mean they're bad, it just means that your goals differ. You can still be friends with them.

Don't drag out fights between friends or anyone. There's nothing wrong with cutting off from fights, it saves a lot of energy

Always lend an ear to others, friend or not. People remember others who are good to them so be nice. It doesn't hurt much. If someone needs help. help them.

Have some network beyond school (from other schools if you go for extra competitions or anything) I found it extremely helpful

Don't party (not too much). Personally, i don't believe too much in FOMO. Like, everyone around me participates in every small event, parties and what not. The trick is to join things you actually want and not just because you think you'll miss out. If you join every party/event, you'll likely won't be able to differentiate between the things that actually matter because everything looks the same.

Don't drink. That's what I'll always say. It's actually pretty bad for you, not only can you result in a bad hangover on a Monday morning but also actually mess up your body from the inside.

Don't do relationships. (at least in my opinion, it's an invitation for unwanted drama from what I've seen with my friends. it's messy)

Speak up in class (It can be difficult, but you must do it from time to time, it will boost confidence). You don't have to answer every time really. I spent my entire life sitting silently knowing the answers to every question but I chose not to say it.

Explore your aesthetic. Literally.

Cut your hair, wear rings, go emo or goth or cheerleader style. Hell, mix them. No one cares. Even if they do, does it really matter?

Take mental health days. I literally had 3-4 days a month for just resting. My sister and I would take days off together to watch tv shows and movies.

Talk to freshers, sophomores, juniors and seniors. (Honestly, I really love when my juniors come and talk to me, it feels nice, and you'll actually help them. we seniors aren't that bad)

There's no such thing as not cool (except when you disrespect somebody).

Don't start fights, if you find yourself in one, apologize and move on. Unnecessary drama really.

And don't gossip/talk bad about anyone. Once, my friend literally asked me, "Don't you freaking hate anyone from the class?" and i just said, "Hating someone requires energy, i don't want to waste my time and energy on that. Even if i hate them, i don't really have to advertise it."

Get familiar with your circle.. Honestly, i am a very quiet person, I didn't start getting comfortable with my group until like 3 months into senior year. It took me 1 and a half years to get comfortable with them.

It is totally fine to have a small circle of friends. It's also okay to have a large circle of friends. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Don't back answer a teacher. Teachers have impressions and if you back answer. That definitely leaves a bad impression. And you don't want that.

Have a memory book or anything for the last day of high school (I didn't want to keep a book because you had to spend weeks giving it to everyone so when we had a high school party, I took one of my scarfs and made people sign it and write a short message)

Don't give in to peer pressure. Honestly, it's fine if you don't do or like something.

__________________

Additional Posts:

Mistakes I made in my junior year that i don't want anyone else to repeat.

Mistakes I made in my senior year that I don't want anyone else to repeat

__________________

Hope This Helps! :))

[pillowfort-social]

Site Update - 2/9/2024

Hi Pillowfolks!

Today is the day. Post Queueing & Scheduling is finally here for everyone. Hooray! As always we will be monitoring closely for any unexpected bugs so please let us know if you run into any.

New Features/Improvements

✨ *NEW* Queue & Schedule - One of the most highly requested features has finally arrived at Pillowfort. Users can now effortlessly Queue or Schedule a post for a future time.  

Queue helps keep your Pillowfort active by staggering posts over a period of hours or days. Just go to your Settings page to set your queue interval and time period.

How to add a post to your queue: 

While creating a new post or editing a draft, click on the clock icon to the right of the “Publish” button and choose “Queue.” Then click “Queue” when you’re ready to submit the post.

Schedule assigns a post a specific publishing time in the future (based on your timezone you’ve selected in Account Settings). How to schedule a post: 

While creating a new post or editing a draft, click on the clock icon to the right of “Publish” and choose “Schedule.” Enter the time you wish to publish your post, click on “Submit” and then click “Schedule.” 

How to review your queued & scheduled posts: 

On the web, your Queue is available in the user sidebar located on the left side of the screen underneath “Posts.” (On mobile devices, click on the three line icon located on the upper left of your screen to access your user sidebar.)

Note: the “Queue” button will only display if you have one or more queued or scheduled posts.

A CAVEAT: It is not currently possible to queue or schedule posts to Communities. We do intend to add this feature in the future, but during development it was determined that enabling queueing & scheduling to Communities would require additional workflow and use case requirements that would extend development time when this project has already been delayed, and so it was decided to release queue & scheduling for blogs only at the present time. We will add the ability to queue & schedule to Communities soon after the Pillowfort PWA (our next major development project) is complete.

✨ End of Year Fundraiser Reward Badges: End of Year Fundraiser Rewards Badges will begin to be distributed today. We'll update everyone when distribution is done.  

✨ End of Year Fundraiser Reward Frames: As a special thank you to our community for helping keep Pillowfort online we have released two very special (and cozy!) Avatar Frames for all users. 

As for the remaining End of Year Fundraiser Rewards - we will be asking the Community for feedback on the upcoming Light Mode soon. 

✨ Valentine’s Day Avatar Frame: A new Valentine’s Day inspired frame is now available!

✨ Valentine’s Day Premium Frames: Alternate colors of the Valentine’s Day frame are available to Pillowfort Premium subscribers. 

✨ Site FAQ Update - Our Site FAQ has received a revamp.  

Terms of Service Update

As of today (February 9th), we are updating our Terms of Service to prohibit the following content:

Images created through the use of generative AI programs such as Stable Diffusion, Midjourney, and Dall-E.

An explanation of how this policy will be enforced and what exactly that means for you is available here: https://www.pillowfort.social/posts/4317673

Thank you again for your continued support. Other previously mentioned updates (such as the Pillowfort Premium Price increase, Multi Account Management, PWA, and more) will be coming down the pipeline soon. As always, stay tuned for updates. 

Best, Staff

[causenessus]

human things in my life recently . . . ✦ . ⁺

(this is going to be a long list! i'll probably keep thinking of things as I write others down. and that's probably because that's the human experience :) )

i was talking to my director about wishing other kids could see him how I did, as a person, not just some silly guy who will let them slack off or do whatever they ask him to and I said "sometimes I wish I could project my brain onto others" and he laughed and said, "isn't that what it means to be human? wanting to share your thoughts with others, make them feel what you feel and think?"

i later told him i wanted to be there for our upcoming play which is stressing us both out and I told him, "I just feel like I see you. as a human. not as just a teacher, or some adult, or a figure. but a human." and he said, "thank you, I needed to hear that."

i wrote a christmas card to my manager and thanked her for treating me like a human and she said that my card was the best gift she received that year

we are all humans. why is it such a heartfelt compliment to tell someone you see them as such?

last december, sitting on the stage of my theatre on the last day before break with my tech director talking about growing up. what I will always remember from that day is watching the kid who will be taking over a lot of my responsibilities next year skipping down the stairs as he and I talked. i told him, "there have been so many deaths this year, and that scares me. i didn't think i'd start experiencing so much of this at 18, I thought it would be something in my late 20s. is this what growing up is?" and he said, "yes, but it's also about life. it's about watching new lives be created just as much as it is about seeing people off for the last time." and while currently, I think there's even more to growing up than just these two things, it was a nice reminder. growing up also means more life.

a post i saw online, about how depressing this Christmas felt, and someone's realization that it's because Christmas is a holiday your parents work hard to make feel magical. as you grow older, then it's up to you to make it magical for others, and that's how the magic of Christmas is kept

an except from my sociology final exam research paper on the fear of growing up from December: "While the definition of what it means to be an adult may vary between people, many at least hold within them an optimism that they will reach the place of adulthood at some point. Being an adult means to many being independent and responsible, which some acknowledge to be a heavy burden, but one that they are happy to carry...I am left with one closing thought: perhaps everyone is more prepared for the future than they thought."

telling my father on his birthday that he's the strongest person I know, not just physically, but mentally. even if we disagree on a lot of things and don't always get along, i can take one look around my room and house and realize how much he's done for me despite all of our arguments and how much he hurts everyday

something my therapist said that i'd come to the conclusion to while trying to decide if I should drop a class that was giving me a lot of anxiety or not, "do it. there's a stigma in society nowadays to just 'suck it up' whenever your facing something hard, but if you have the ability to change your surroundings when you're uncomfortable, why wouldn't you?"

my friend a few years younger than me that will text me and ask if she can be with me for lunch because she wants to be around someone she feels comfortable with

this same friend asking me for help on an assignment to find ten things that inspired her, and I told her "why don't you think about the future? somewhere you want to travel? your dream home, when you finally get to move out? what keeps you motivated?"

the fact that scientists don't yet understand the human brain. the fact that every single person on this earth is unique in how they form perceptions, what they experience who they meet, who they decide to love, what they believe in, what foods they like, how different the chemistry inside each of them is. how flawed we all are. everything that makes us human. and there's beauty in those imperfections, not things to be hidden.

[4fifiandtheflowertots4]

The House of the Dutch

PART 2

You'd already decided you were going to like it here, but having your suspicions confirmed made you smile. Your bedroom walls had been painted, new furniture had been delivered (You're still waiting for a chair in the living room) and you found solace after a long day in the girls you were quickly becoming close with. Your favourite part of day was getting home from training and helping to make dinner. You alternated who decided and who ran the kitchen, Kerstin becoming your sou-chef as Dominique kept her ban against her and the kitchen. 

Tonight, however, was different. Downstairs Domi and Viv and Jill (and Kerstin had probably managed to weasel her way into helping) were cooking and you were stuck in your room. After receiving an angry message from your university complaining that you hadn't attended a lecture in too long, you took the night to force yourself to stare at the screen and listen. You were hoping the strong smell of the paint might take the edge off a bit, sure that you'd read online that paint had enough chemicals in to ‘relax the muscles’.

You laugh to yourself at the thought before trying to refocus your attention on where the lousy professor was wittering on about something or other. It's only when your name is called that you really start to focus. Half the people had already left and you assumed it was the end of the lecture. “You're 4 pieces behind.” He says to you, and you frown. “No I'm not. I keep up with my work. If I had an assignment set I would have been notified and completed within the next couple of days. I haven't had a notification in weeks. I assumed you had been doing other stuff instead.”

“If you ever joined the lectures you would know.” He states, very matter-of-factly. “And this doesn't change the fact that you're 4 assignments behind.”  You frown. You can't remember seeing a notification indicating that any work had been set and you've never missed an essay before. You try to think back and- Oh. That very annoying beep that interrupted you're Mario Kart the other week. “I'm sorry. They'll be done within the next two weeks, promise.”

“You know the rules. If you're more than 6 assignments behind I have the right to kick you off the course, Miss.” You rub your hands up and down your face. 

“Of course. I'm sorry again.” Your professor leaves the call and you slump down into the chair. You definitely didn't need this now.

You were getting started by City, scoring goals most games and assisting on the others. You groan, leaning back so far you almost tumble off the chair. It's then that a knock echoes around the room and you twist your head to see who it is. You wait for them to come in, slowly realising they're waiting for permission. That rules out Kerstin. “Come in!” You call and Viv peaks her head around the door. “Hey. Dinners ready, if you're ready.” She says, then hurrying out: “If you're not, we can leave it in the oven to stay warm and we'll wait to eat it with you.” 

You shake your head, smiling at the thoughtfulness from the girl. “No, it's alright. I'm finished on the call.” She nods and turns back out of the door. You shut down your laptop and follow her down the stairs, your blood still curdling as you try and consider a time you might have to do 2, 5000 word, essays and 2 projects Kerstin cheers when you appear, patting the chair next to her. Jill walks in with the dish of the day and sits at the head of the table, Domi opposite Kerstin and Viv opposite you. 

As much as the food looks delicious (A traditional Dutch soup and garlic bread) you poke it about, your appetite gone since earlier.

Jill looks at you questioningly. “Do you not like it?” She tries to disguise the slight waver in her voice. 

“Oh! It's lovely, it's really nice.. I just.. am not hungry.” You say, smiling at her and kicking her gently under the table so she knows you mean it. You were going to withhold your troubles as to not worry the others, but they already knew your academic ability (or lack of). “I have a bunch of work to do for my uni and not much time to do it. I'm really far behind and my professor is threatening to kick me off the course. I can't cope with it.”

 “How much work?” Dominique asks from across the table.

“2 5000 word essays and 2 pieces of artwork - 1 of those has to be an animation.” You huff, and push the soup over to Kerstin who has been eying it up since you said you weren't hungry.

“I'm really sorry. I might have to sacrifice all our evenings for the next couple of weeks to get it finished. Starting now.” You get up from your seat, ignoring the sad smile from Viv to prevent the guilt from getting to you. You climb back up the stairs and return to your work area where your laptop waits. Staring at the screen, you try to decide what's best to do first. The animation will take ages. The essays are so boring. You have no inspiration to do the art. You slump at your desk again. 

After about 30 minutes of deliberation, you start on the piece of art, the most overdue of them all. The assignment aim was to create a portrait in an animation form, recognisable to a popular animated show. Instantly, you were stumped.  Time for some procrastination.

You pull out your phone and begin to scroll through Instagram, a couple of racist jokes, a grwm and a prank doing nothing but boring you further. Then there's one of those videos that everyone sees. “First 5 images on your phone define you as a person” nothing could be more boring than this. You open your camera roll. The first picture was one of your best friend, your mum and your dog, sent to you the other day with an ‘I miss u’ message at the bottom. That makes you smile. The next from last Friday, when you went for coffee with Jill at this new place you'd found. It was meant to just be your drink, to put on your story but behind she had snuck in and photo bombed your ideal Instagram shot. She had her tongue stuck out to the side, her eyes criss-crossed and eyebrows bent. Despite her funny face you still find yourself admiring her beauty. You curse yourself. The image after was not a photo, but a video holding a pristine picture of Kerstin dancing with Kiwi in her arms to the circle of life, from Lion King. Viv is laughing in the background, and Myle the dog is barking at the scene. You laugh along with the scene, Kerstin relishing being the centre of attention. She's smiling and its completely magnetic.The next is a photo of Viv wrapped in her city coat, slightly shivering after being taken off at the 60th minute mark. She's curled around you for warmth and you're laughing slightly. Her nose is red at the tip, her cheeks a similar colour. Even now, however many days in the future you feel the need to put your hands on her cheeks to warm her up. The fifth photo is one of Dominique wearing her specialised oven gloves, 'chef Domi' written across the front (apparently a birthday present from last year, you suppose from Kerstin) she has one of her hands pressed against Jill's front, pinning her against the fridge. The other is pointing best she can with the big mittens on her fingers. You remember the moment perfectly, Jill skipping in after a bit of media work she had to do, smelling the cookies you and Domi had just whisked up and instantly trying to pinch some. Having gotten past the first line of defence, you, she managed to get round Dominique when she had her back turn. Just as she'd spun her finger around the bowl, collecting some of the batter, Domi had turned and pushed her against the wall. Despite still being in fits of giggles from where you'd been tickled to the ground, you'd managed to nab a picture, luckily for Jill, just before she'd turned an embarrassingly obvious red. Clearly, you weren't the only one who found the whole ordeal hot.

Still smiling down at your phone, the inspiration seemed to circle the pen you used to draw on your iPad. You started by drawing a bright red 'animated' sofa, then beginning to create a quick sketch of a yellow version of yourself. You're sat right in the middle, then there's a dog by your feet, a perfect creation of your own little pup. To your left, your mama and each feature that makes her special, especially her butterfly tattoo. To your right, your best friend from home, holding a coffee and doing a peace sign with her free hand. Now you were stuck. You knew what you wanted to do but the positioning you were going to find very hard. Deciding who goes where while still maintaining symmetry was turning out to be a real challenge, especially when your stupid overthinking head is considering each placement a ranking of who was your favourite. A long with the fact that the positioning of each person decided how close you were with each of them, not wanting to confuse anybody for the extent of your relationship with any of them (even though you wished you had that extent with someone). For the however manyth time that day, you huffed. You grab your iPad and unplug it, the days activities taking its toll but you force yourself to continue the work. You crawl into your bed and stick your earphones in, blocking the world and it's issues out. You begin to draw again and the initial sketches of your four girls begin to paint themselves across the screen. Seeing them all in yellow makes you smile, allowing for some imperfections and missed features - especially for your first draft.

Your so far into your own world you don't hear your door open, or footsteps lead towards your bed. It'd only when a weight falls at your feet that you look up, seeing Viv sat at the foot of the bed. You quickly pull your earphone out.

"Hey, Love. How's the work going?" You blush at the affectionate pet name despite knowing the innocent intentions. "I brought food!" She waves the chocolate bar in front of her own face, making you smile.

"I've done the first draft of my drawing. It's all in 'The Simpsons' style." You grin at the thought of the 7 yellow people drawn onto your canvas. "I would say it's going well, but it shouldn't have taken 4 hours to draw a first draft."

"Can I see it?" Viv asks, and you pat the bit of mattress next to you. She scoots up and you bring up your latest drawing while ahe cracks open the chocolate. She stifles a laugh when she gets a look at it, but you can tell it's not in judgement. She points at Kerstin first and that makes you laugh with her. "She is never living this down-" she manages between her laughs and you're both keeling over again. You fall into Viv breathlessly, your head on her lap as she tried to control the laughter. Her hand, however, was already combing through your hair gently. Eventually, the giggles turn into breathy intakes of air, her heart rate returning to normal. "You know it's quite late, right?" She says from above you, her hand never faltering on its movement. She hands you 3 squares of chocolate and you take it, quickly realising how hungry you'd got and having a bite. Then you roll to look at her and instantly admire the way the peeking moon manages to catch her eyes.

"Yeah. I'm alright - just going to have to push a bit harder tomorrow." You try to give her your most reassuring smile.

"Don't work yourself too hard. In fact, I think it's time for bed for you." Viv pulls your iPad from your hands, laying it on the bedside table, moving the chocolate with it. "Do you want me to stay with you for a bit, while you fall asleep?"

Cursing the blush on your cheeks, you grin at her and nod. She manages to haul you off her lap and onto the pillow next to her legs. She (unfortunately for you) stays sitting up and picks up a book that she'd left on the end of your bed upon entrance. Her hand returns to your hair, though, and through each twist and pull you can sense each emotion the book it providing her and you wish it always this easy to read the girl. With that, you feel your eyelids dropping, and with one last look at Viv, fall fast asleep.

When you wake, it's because of another Myle vs Kiwi battle, taking place just outside your door. By the sounds of it, nobody is going to fix it so you pull back the covers and crawl shove your feet into the slippers waiting. At the lack of a second presence, you assume Viv managed to slip away when you fell asleep - now asleep in her own room and ignoring the raucus caused by her puppy. You open the door to your bedroom, picking up the first animal you can (Kiwi) and give a pat to Myle, throwing her toy downstairs for her. You smuggle your new friend back into the warmth you'd created, checking the time on your alarm and pulling out your iPad for the extra couple of hours you have at waking early. For sustenance, you break another square of chocolate off and begin to change a couple of things you'd done in your tired state last night - making sure your depiction of Kerstin was a little kinder.

With Kiwi sat on your lap, you crack on with the drawing, allowing the sun to rise and peek through the curtains left slightly ajar in your haste to shut them. You manage to get more time drawing than you expected, only being disturbed by a sleepy looking Kerstin in skippers and pajamas. "Hey have you seen- Kiwi!" She spots the cat and runs over and launches herself towards the cat - towards you - onto your lap. She begins to mutter to the cat something incoherent, stroking her under the chin.

Then Kerstin looks up at you and smiles sheepishly, a warm blush on her cheeks. "Sorry. I couldn't find her, normally she's scratching on my door for cuddles."

"Yeah, no, that's fine." You try to get over the unfortunate positioning of the long muscular limbs of the other Dutch girl. "Her and Myle were squabbling again. Kiwi was the first I got to. I'm sorry."

You realise Kerstin is paying no attention to you when she reaches up and pokes your cheek. She starts to grin. "This lighting is rather flattering of your features, dare I say?"

Raising your eyebrows at her, you catch her finger as it goes for another prod. "Are you suggesting I don't look flattering in other lights, Casparij?" She must have given herself whiplash with the extent of her head shaking.

"No! No, I mean, every light you look stunning - you always stun me atleast. Anyway. Work? You've been working. Can I see it? Art? Yes?" Her measly attempt at a change of conversation humours you, and you bring up your iPad, putting in the pin. When you brought out the device you expected her to shuffle up next to you, instead she chooses to make herself more comfortable on your lap so you have to adjust the screen so she can see it. Since Viv's last look, you'd drawn in a patchwork bunny, a football bouncing across the floor and a pair of oven gloves with the initials DJ laying on the arm of the sofa. You considered it finish, deciding to animate this drawing for your second art piece and use the characters already created in this made up world. You tell her your plan and she nods excitedly. "Can I be playing football, then tumble, and I end up on the floor in one of those 'paint me like one of your French girls' position? And then Viv can walk in with a canvas and start to paint me like the Mona Lisa and Dominique can stick her head around the door with an.." she pauses for breath. "APPLE PIE! Yes, an apple pie in her hands then Jill walks in with lipstick on her cheek, because you know, have you seen all the rumours about a new secret girlfriend?" You ignore the pang in your chest as she continues to ramble. "And she picks up my discarded football and begins to do keepy-uppies in the background all the while you, your mum and your best friend are just sat completely still with a butterfly floating around your head because I love butterflies. They remind me of you. They're beautiful like you, I think that's where I see the resemblance anyway. And your very graceful. I love watching you play football, you dance across the pitch. Should have been a ballerina." A big inhale for breath. "Actually no I take it back because then you never would have met me or maybe you would have done because it's fate." She sings out the last word and shakes about a bit despite her compromising position on your lap.

"Do you believe in fate, Kerstin?" You ask, tilting your head to the side to avoid the sun shining into your eyes. "And- how do you have so much energy for this time in the morning?"

"I always have energy if it means conversing with you, Darling. And fate? I think we'll never know."

You'd thought you'd found some peace, when the room goes quiet - par Kiwi purring ever so often. However it's clear Kerstin gets bored easily, rolling over and reaching up to get her hands on your thighs. You look down at her to ask her what she's doing, but before the words can leave your mouth she tugs and you go down into the depths of duvet and mattress.

Eventually, you resurface, and she's waiting for you having shuffling herself up the bed (still laying down) and stealing your previous position. "There. Now I can see your eyes properly." She looks really pleased with herself and you roll your eyes, biting down a sarcastic response when she sends you a soft smile. "Any plans for today?" Kerstin asks you. "Other than working?" She cuts in before you can speak, seeing the way you open your mouth.

"Then no. I hope to sit in bed and rot while trying to find some inspiration for a however many word essay that won't write itself." You huff again. "What about you guys?"

"Viv's going for a physio appointment about her knee, Dominique's going to visit somebody or other. Jill's meant to be babysitting her niece and I am going out with Mary." She ticks them all off her fingers before looking back at you.

"So it's just me rotting today then?" She nods and you both lay there staring at one another. Then a hand reaches up and tucks a stray hair behind your ear. "You really are beautiful in this light." The hand from by the side of your head comes to your hip and pulls you towards her just a little bit. "Can I have a hug?" She's not smiling and joking anymore, her face is straight and her shoulders look sagged. You make the decision to wiggle forward - half for her, half to satisfy the urge to cuddle close you've had since she played you both down. When you start to move, her hand on your hip begins to tug you along too until your head is tucked neatly under her chin. The arm on your midsection tightens and you wrap yours around her lower back. You stay like this for just enough time for the smell of yesterday's perfume to drift around your head. Then she pulls back and you start to wonder what an earth is going on inside her head.

"..are you okay?" You ask her and she nods. Her tongue peaks out and subtly licks her lips and her eyes dash around your face, eyes, nose, blushed cheeks, freckles, forehead and mouth. They rest on your mouth. They're bright with want, sparkling as they continue to stare. Then her face falls and she pulls away entirely. Her whole body just falls from yours like it was a cliff, not a whole queen sized bed but instead of falling she's stood, still staring at you.

"I'm really sorry. I was..was going to, you know, kiss you or something like that. But.." she goes quiet and you have to just wait as she chews over her next words. "Jill. She really likes you. Told me the other day - actually she told all of us and for some reason I took that as 'hey let's make a move' and that makes me a shit person so.. I'm going to leave now. And I would like you not to tell Jill. Or anyone. Because I think Domi likes you too. Not that she'd ever say. Infact.. so does Viv. She chooses what to cook based on what your fancying and even if you say you don't tell her, you wake up every morning and as your making yourself breakfast you say what your fancying for tea under your breath and I can tell it's only meant for yourself to hear but Viv's always up at the same time and she can hear it too." Yet again, she's rambling and you can't do anything but watch as she exposes her friends secrets.

By the time you have a chance to get a word in, she's gone, Kiwi trailing behind.

There isn't much you can do now. Other than sit. Ponder. Consider. Mostly, however, you're wondering how an earth you managed to make 4 very pretty Dutch women like you. You also think about your next move, surely there's a decision you have to make.

You shake that thought of your head, that action instantly becoming easier when theres a muffled scream from room next door, something that sounded like a pillow being thrown against the wall, then a thrump as it hit the floor.

Then your door gets nudged open and a blonde woman makes an appearance, a little girl at her feet. "Hey, my little love. How's the work?" Jill says while kicking the door closed with her foot. "This is my niece, Clara, by the way." The little girl sends you a huge gummy grin, toddling over and giving you a glass of water. "I bought breakfast when I went to collect the little monster, so I thought I'd come give it to you." Jill hands you a chocolate croissant, your favourite, and then picks up the little girl currently very enthralled by the ratty little rabbit sat on your bedside table. "Is Kerstin alright?" She asks, referencing the noise from next door.

Your face flushes while you think of how to put it kindly. You can't think of anything. "I'm not sure. Probably lost a game on her phone or something." Jill gives you a funny look at your stutter but doesn't ask anything further. The girl in her arm starts wiggling so she can't consider for much longer. "Okay. Anyway. If you hear me speaking in English then it's to Clara, my brother and his wife are trying to bring her up bilingual so I thought I'd give them a hand."

"Lucky." You pout and Jill laughs.

"How's your English coming along?"

You put on your best English accent. "Excellent." Then add in Dutch. "Absolutely terrible. I need help."

The little girl had seemingly gotten board of your little bunny, and you take a mental not to apologise to it later for being disregarded. Jill notices and begins to stand up from the foot of your bed. She presses a kiss to your orehead, as she does most of the time and bids you goodbye, calling back warning you not to work too hard. You don't think you'll get too much work done at all. Especially after the strange start of the day.

A/n: Pretty long. Pretty much all waffle. Please tell me what you think of it so I can improve and any plot ideas to <33

[sheiireen]

I redrew this old art piece.

...and here is the full story, which I have never published. (They are in class 1a, after they got their provisional licences)

White Clover

Katsuki's lungs were burning.

No matter what he did, the itching in his throat would not disappear.

He was fucked. He knew he was fucked, but he'd rather die than tell anybody what was going on. Hell, he would just have to destroy those damn flowers before they escaped his mouth. It's been three months and he was managing, somehow. Hot water and some suspicous pills he purchased online helped him to slow down the process, but he knew if he didn't act, he would die. It would be fine. He was Katsuki fucking Bakugou. Something like this won't – can't stop him from becoming a hero.

The most annoying part? He didn't know who caused all of this shit. Katsuki has never loved anyone. What the fuck was he supposed to do? It didn't help that he couldn't find the damn flowers and their meaning online. They were disgustingly covered in blood and saliva and they looked disgusting and everything was disgusting and-

"...Kacchan?"

Izuku pulled Katsuki out of his thoughts. "Fuck you, Deku. What do you want?" "I – I was just worried...you don't – you don't look so well." Of course this fucking nerd couldn't just leave him alone. Can't you feel my burning throat? Katsuki wanted to yell, but instead, he turned his gaze away from Izuku with an annoyed huff and walked away. "Mind your own business, damn nerd." His red eyes glared at Izuku, as if to say I dare you to say any more.

Izuku followed him hesitantly. At another time, Katsuki would blame that fucker's stubbornness for ignoring his fucking warning, but of course today, they were assigned to do a stupid project from UA together. A project that included an investigation of a cave at the top of a mountain, which was restricted for normal people. That was why they were now on their way to that stupid hill on their map. Today, Katsuki's lungs were worse than usual and it pissed. Him. Off. Being on a mountain path with stupid Deku constantly next to him would give Katsuki barely any time to excuse himself to puke some fucking flowers out that made him slowly die from suffocation.

"I think this clue means we should take the path on the right." Katsuki ignored the burning feeling in his throat building up for the millionth time today.

"If you fold the map, it looks like a four-leaf clover and I remember from the last clue that there must be a flower field close to the cave!" Katsuki didn't have the strength to argue, so he waited until Izuku made a move towards wherever he thinks they needed to go and he followed him.

"Kacchan...are you sure you're ok? We can take a break, if you want..."

"I'm fucking fine. Let's get this stupid project done." Katsuki made the last comment so Izuku would shut up. And so I can go into my room and get rid of this burning throat, he silently added. In this exact moment, his body decided to betray him. His sudden cough made the other stop and run back towards Katsuki, who was now crouching on gras, trying to hold in the bloody flowers, trembling and gasping for air.

"Kacchan!" Putting one hand on Katsuki's back, Izuku said, panicking "What's wrong?" He tried to look for injuries while Katsuki's head was facing the gras. He didn't want Izuku to see his pained face. "W-water." He managed to say between shallow gasps. But before he could take the bottle from Izuku's hand, the flowers forced their way out and the green gras changed into a field of bloody, orange colored mess.

What was relief for his lungs, was devastation for his heart. He tried to keep in the tears from falling. Thinking back on his fits, on the intensity of the attacks and his reactions, he finally understood who caused all of this. How shameful, how embarrassing, how humiliating it was that out of all the people, Deku was the one to see his pathetic feelings. His silence told him that he realized what was wrong with Katsuki. _____ "Who is it?" Katsuki was quiet. "Kacchan...how long has this been going on? This doesn't look like it happened recently. Please talk to me." Izuku's desperate plea made Katsuki's irritation grew. "Let me help you. You will die if you don't -" Katsuki grabbed Izuku by his collar and met his big, glassy eyes with his own, angry ones. "Shut up. I don't want your help. Pretend like you never saw anything."

He slowly stood up, finally looking at the mess he puked out. There were more flowers than usual and Izuku was right. He must have reached the final stage. Will he live one month? A week? A day?

Before he could take a step, Izuku grabbed his arm. "No. I won't let you leave like this."

Katsuki sighed. He had no energy to fight. He was tired. Izuku expected a fight, but he didn't care anymore. Since he would die anyway, why not just let it all out? Maybe he would finally feel relief. "It's you." Izuku's reaction was just as he imagined. Quiet and confused. No words uttered. He just stared at him blankly.

Seeing his face gave Katsuki the energy he needed before. He just laughed, holding his hair with his hand. "You're gonna make fun of me, huh? Go ahead. Laugh. I don't care anymore." He shook his head. "I don't get it either." He felt tears falling from his eyes, his hand still in front of his face. "Why you? Why you of all people?" Katsuki yelled. The silence felt like eternity, before Izuku replied quietly. "I- but. No. This doesn't make any sense. I thought I- uh." Katsuki finally looked at Izuku, who looked the same as Katsuki. Desperate, pathetic, with tears filling his eyes. After another pause, he uttered a whispered "I'm sorry." He reached out for Katsuki, but he took a step back.

"Don't come closer. I don't need your pity. Why aren't you laughing?" His voice was so deperate, he felt sorry for himself, Pathetic. "I-I'm sorry, okay?" That's not it.

"It's not like I wanted this either." There was no malice or anger in Izuku's tone. Only sadness and pure frustration. "I don't understand you! Is -is it that bad?" You're wrong. "What the hell is wrong with you?" Katsuki hated how small his voice sounded when all he wanted was to yell. Why the hell aren't you angry? Why do you still look at me with those eyes? "I'm sorry." Stop following me. "I didn't mean to hurt you." I hurt you. "Please don't be mad." I don't deserve you. Let me go.

Let me go. Let me go. The flowers spoke in a language both could understand.

_____ After Katsuki's second fit, he passed out. Two fits in one day? How long did he have left? Izuku carried Katsuki down the mountain as fast as he could, where Aizawa was waiting with some of the other students who were assigned at the same area as them. He was taken to the hospital. Izuku didn't tell the others what happened, his mind was filled with panick and confusion.

Izuku was in love with Katsuki. He always has been. Why did he never get the disease? Was is because Katsuki loved him back? But why did Katsuki get the disease despite his feelings then? Were Izuku's feelings not genuine? Doubt started to creep up inside of him. He had to find out how the disease exactly worked, he knew his love was real, so why did he cause Katsuki to catch such a terrible disease? His heart ached. By pounding his fist on his chest and breathing deeply, he tried to calm himself down. "Midoriya Izuku?" The doctor who just examined Katsuki interrupted his thoughts. "Yes, that's me."

"We gave your friend some pain killers and medicine to suppress the flowers, but unfortunately, the disease spread too far in his lungs. It must have been months since he caught hanahaki." He took out a small bag with petals. "Every patient has different flowers, it comes from their desires. These are butterfly weeds." He took the bag from the doctor. "How can I help him?" "The only way to save him is to make the other person fall in love with him, but given the circumstances...it's unlikely that we can save him in such a short time span." But I do love him.

"He is awake, if you want to talk." Izuku didn't hesitate to enter the room. "Kacchan!" He sat down on the edge of the bed, but Katsuki didn't pay any attention to him, instead, he kept staring out the window. He was so angry at him for not saying anything all this time, but fighting was meaningless right now. All he wanted was to save Katsuki's life. "The doctor gave me the petals. He said these come from your desire. Do you know the meaning of them?" He took out the bag. Katsuki slowly turned his head towards Izuku to look at the bag and nodded. "Took me too fucking long to realize..." "I'm sorry for causing this to you. If only I told you how I felt before." "What do you mean?" "I love you." Katsuki snorted. "You don't love me." "I do. I always have." He stared into Katsuki's eyes, but he could see that the words didn't reach his eyes. "Stop trying to play hero, Deku. Why would you love me? Me? Of all the people? You don't have to try to pathetically save me by acting like you love me. It's okay. I'm fine." Without meaning to, Izuku's irritation krept up. "What the fuck do you mean? I'm not lying." His response was quick, no anger, no distress, just simple words. "I don't deserve you." "You can't decide who I love and who I don't. I love you. You can't take that from me, Kacchan!" He put his hands on Katsuki's shoulders. He didn't care how distressed he sounded, how franctically he held him, forcing him to keep looking into Izuku's eyes. "If you can't accept my love, you will suffocate. Please don't do this. I'm not pretending, you're the only one I love." His eyes swelled up with tears. Katsuki started to cough. Another fit? "I want to be alone now, Deku. Leave." Izuku didn't move. "Please." With a pang of sorrow, Izuku left. Not because listened to Katsuki's wish, but because he was determined to prove that he loved him. He didn't have much time.

_____ After a two hour train ride, an hour of walking, thirty minutes of waiting, he found the person he was looking for. The girl in front of him, with long, wavy pink hair and pink eyes, didn't expect a stranger waiting in front of her apartment door. She seemed nervous and it didn't help that Izuku seemed desperate. But he was. He quickly introduced himself and managed to convince her that he wasn't a creep. "I'm sorry for the sudden visit. I need your help."

_____ Like Katsuki wished, Izuku was gone, and he didn't return. He would lie if he said he wasn't hurt by that, even if he was the one who told him to leave. Katsuki watched the sky until the sun left. At least the sunset was beautiful today. He didn't know what to do. Should he call his parents to bid them farewell? Write his classmates letters? The doctor said he had a few days left, since the frequency of his fits increased day by day. Dying by suffocation was not on his to-do list. Maybe he should find a random villain on his last day so he could pretend he died in a fight.

He sighed. Everything was so dumb. His self-pity moment was interrupted by a knock on the window. At first he thought it was his imagination, a sad attempt at hoping to see the person he was longing for, but once the knocking increased, he knew it was reality. He opened the door and was greeted by a hug. "Kacchan!" "How did you climb up here, stupid Deku?" He hoped the other didn't hear the happiness in his voice. "That's a secret." Izuku's smile brightened up the whole room, which was completely dark by now. He took Katsuki's right hand and put something in it. "Here...eat this. It will make you feel better." Izuku handed him a soft pink rose petal. He also had one in his hand and ate it. He did as he was told. They waited for a bit, but Katsuki didn't feel any difference. His insides were still burning and he felt another fit coming, so he put his hand on his heart to soothe the pain. "Give me your hand, Kacchan." Izuku replaced Katsuki's hand with his own so it laid gently on his chest. He was sure the other felt his increasing heart beats. Whether it was due to the flowers creeping up or because he was way too damn close didn't matter right now. Izuku's hand felt comforting. Somehow, he managed to calm down slowly. He felt a relieving warmth spreading inside of him and his negative emotions seemed to melt away. Katsuki let out a breath and closed his eyes. He felt more at ease than ever. "What did you do to me?" His voice was calmer than he expected. He opened his eyes to meet Izuku's, who was smiling softly. He saw a delicate blush coloring Izuku's cheeks. It suited him so well. In that moment, Katsuki wished time stood still. He wished he could have erased his past to treat Izuku with all the care, all the love he had deserved. "What you're feeling right now are my emotions." Katsuki felt warm tears on his face. Izuku kept his gaze on him, with his hand still on his chest. He felt it all. The kind of love that is serene, happy, pure. He felt his devotion, his unwavering affection. Everything. "Do you get it now? You own my heart." In the silence of the room, Katsuki wept softly. He managed to nod and hugged Izuku. Partly because he didn't want to show his face, partly, because words were unneeded. His lungs were no longer burning.

[donnerpartyofone]

The little pink brain surrounded by stars and flowers at the end of my computer search bar tells me that it is World Brain Health Day, which is insane but maybe that's appropriate. This was a great year to get my ADHD diagnosis and prescription considering the Very Complicated Things that are happening (mostly fine, just A LOT). I have also become aware that the dose of medical meth that I'm on is helping to manage my severe chronic depression, which is pretty awesome since I have tried what feels like "everything" and nothing really works without some gruesome side effect. The main side effect in this case turns up because I'm working a (roughly) 4 days on, 3 days off schedule as recommended by my doctor to avoid building up a tolerance, and I have begun to notice that on the 2nd-or-so day off I have a bit of a snap-back effect that plunges me into a pit of infinite darkness. It helps to remember that when unmedicated I am OFTEN plunging into a pit of infinite darkness, so this is essentially normal. The most positive version of being unmedicated is that I'm at least "pretty depressed" most of the time, and probably not getting as much done, just schlorping around in a general malaise. Just the getting things done is good for my self-esteem anyway. Work helps too, oddly; when I am completely consumed by a big urgent project, it is hard to find the time and energy to fantasize about being dead. Of course obsessive work causes other kinds of wear and tear, but their negativity is less immediately obvious.

Today I am doing the Extremely Complicated training process to write for this pop culture website you have probably heard of. When I was picked to do this I thought, "This is probably too much work for not enough money," and now I'm realizing that it is actually WAY too much work for not NEARLY enough money. But it's good for someone like me while I still don't have a real job, so I'm coping with this ordeal of doing the online training, thinking I'm done, doing my first assignment, realizing there was way more of the online training but I just didn't click the right button or something, revising my assignment, submitting it, realizing there's still MORE stuff I should have fixed and racing through the assignment making little changes and clicking Save after every single one of them never knowing when somebody's is going to start evaluating it, and just praying for death the best. Then at the same time I heard back from an event organizer who totally refused to communicate with me for the last two months so I just cancelled on them like two weeks ago, and now they're telling me they're so sorry and can we please do the event, and I have to have an annoying back-and-forth with the tricky third party this is dependent on, and do all this other stuff I'm suddenly too tired to describe. And THEN AT THE SAME TIME AS THAT I got invited to write more writing for the super awesome company that sometimes publishes me, also for not enough money on the hour but they're apologetic about that and the writing matters to me (and so does the company). And this is all great but my stomach has turned into a rock and my back muscles are fossilizing and I'm in breathe-on-purpose mode and I'm regretting how much coffee I drank and I wish I could calm down with a beer or even a joint or something, but the beer will actually increase my meth uptake and the joint will add to my anxiety in this state, and so I just have to grind my teeth through this until the day is done. I wish I could play for you guys the earsplitting power tool sound from right next door that has been echoing through the neighborhood since 8 o'clock this morning, just as like the OST to this whole experience, but you'll just have to imagine it! I also meant to apply for Real Jobs today, but now it seems clear that that's not going to happen until tomorrow. The End...FOR NOW.