#Rebecca would love it tho

[alicesbread]

Danny with piebaldism Danny with piebaldism Danny with piebaldism Danny with piebaldism Danny with piebaldism Danny with-

[bonesblackheadrotten]

i get that becks is competitive, but she's kind of scaring me ngl. thought this was a romcom but the way she meticulously guards blake to the point that it makes me feel like she's not protecting a girlfriend but more of an object is kinda...

[yappacadaver]

i need his cringe ass so fucking bad

[mediawhorefics]

marie if you ever wrote ted lasso fic i would die from joy 👀

ooooooh 👀👀👀👀👀 what would you want me to write ??? ngl that's a fandom that hadn't even occured to me, tho i have read a few fics lmao.

[starryylies]

Hi !!! Idk if you've done this already but can you do my angel boy Gaz and Ghost with a girl who love scary movies ??? I feel like they'd totally have the mentality of "I gotta comfort her when she's scared" but Gaz specifically flinches and I think Si would like "brace" if that makes sense like wincing his eyes. I dunno if you've done something like that but your emo story reminded me of me and it made me so happy I'm a metalhead and I was gonna ask for more but it was already in there and that just mad emy day ilysm already okay bye -🫀

Simon n Gaz watching a horror movie with s/o

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Again so sorry (I’m sorry for saying sorry sm) but like Omg I love this cuz I love horror smmmm!!! Insidious,suspiria,Bwp, conjuring you name it I love them omgggg.

So thank you so much for the awesome ask and I hope you enjoy it 🩷🩷🩷

Also I used the movies sinister and lights out for the references :))

SIMON-

♰ he thought watching the movie sinister will be fun cuz he thought he could protect you from the jumpscares

♰ he needs to be protected from the damn movie tho (okay this movie is fucked up tho and it’s totally normal to be scared)

♰in the beginning he thought it will be some poorly made movie with shit ass jumpscares but boy was he wrong

♰ when the scene of the family hanging themselves comes on he was taken aback and he lets out an audible wince shutting his eyes

♰ he genuinely finds the movie scary and gory, cannot help but find himself wince and shut his eyes whenever he thinks there will be a jumpscare

♰ as the movie progressed and the other tapes were revealed he just couldn’t take it anymore, his limit broke off when the mowing scene came

♰ but you seemed to be enjoying the movie, anticipating what the next scene will reveal

♰ he shut the tv before he could see further, it was too much for him

♰ “fuckin hell love this movie is a fuckin nightmare” he groans

♰ “noo It’s a well made film :( plus I enjoy a good scare ya know”

♰ god how could you be so chill with it, he can’t tell if he should admire you or keep his distance

♰dw he admires you :)

♰ keeps on ranting about how he’d never do such a stupid fucking thing

♰ says Ellison was a stupid fuckin idiot for getting his family there and curses him for the rest of the day

♰ asks you your opinion on the movie and who you think is recording the tapes

♰ ends up going on the net to see how the movie ends cuz he can’t let it go

♰when he finds out the ending he has an ‘aha’ moment.

♰ tries watching the movie again but ends up stopping in the beginning itself cuz he can’t handle it.

♰ probably doesn’t want kids after this movie

GAZ-

♰ Awh this poor guy just wanted to watch a scary movie with you to hold you when you’re scared but it kinda ends up being the opposite

♰ you both decide on watching lights out (I wanted to pick hereditary or mother but too much cuz I’m writing this at 3am)

♰ see lights out is a Pretty chill film but Diana is creepy as hell and sadly gaz became a victim to Diana’s jumpscares

♰ when she killed the dad gaz visibly flinched like on the edge of the sofa hoping the dad would survive

♰ but boom the bitch killed him :/

♰ felt really bad for the brother (Martin)

♰sympathised with him a lot by saying he’s a good kid and that he’s really strong.

♰ surprised on how you’re not getting scared or anything

♰ thinks that you have watched this film before

♰ gaz got shit scared during the scene where Rebecca and her boyfriend came and Diana creeped around them

♰ the end made him tear up just a lil :(

♰ you ended up comforting him holding him close cuz he felt bad about their mom

♰ thinks it’s adorable how you give lil facts about the movie from time to time though.

♰ cursed Diana for the rest of the day,

♰ if you take any medications, don’t worry you’ll never miss them now cuz gaz will make sure you eat yours on time

♰ keeps the bathroom and living room lights on that night

♰ will search for movies like lights out

♰ will never watch them though

♰ is proud that he got closer to you tho

♰ will definitely hold you the entirety of the movie

♰ will never have a horror movie date again tho

♰ but will watch a horror movie with you if you ask him cuz how can he say no to you :))

[ithinkdogshouldvote2]

Kiddads headcanons: (Lark and Sparrow)

Sparrow:

drinks red wine out of a coffee mug every morning.

Sometimes mixes in actual coffee with the wine (it's fucking disgusting and makes Lark gag)

Low-key kinda an alcoholic in the way that white upper-middle class suburban moms are

Still wears the friendship bracelet him and Lark made for each other as kids, along with a bunch of those beaded circle bracelets and the leather strappy ones.

Abso-fucking-LUTELY rockin' the 'Burks.

Still really likes art and painting but feels weirdly guilty about it so he only does it when everyone else is out of the house.

Has so many crystals it's a fire hazard. (Rocks rock!)

Keeps them right next to the Incense too.

Eats reeses peanut butter cups when he's really drunk and cries about how guilty he is cause they're not vegan as he is actively shoving them in his mouth. He never remembers this in the morning.

Actually, weirdly does not like weed. It makes him paranoid and he starts acting like Lark.

Took shrooms once as was convinced he had prophetic doodler dreams where he saw the end of the world.

He was convinced because it's true. That's literally exactly what happened.

Before he lost his love wolf powers, he got drunk and wandered around in wolf form until he got caught by the pound and Lark had to pay 30 bucks to get him back.

He read homestuck as a kid and LOVED jade but he grew up and ended up more like roses mom.

Both him and Lark watched gravity falls as kids and routinely argued over which twin they were.

Hero once told sparrow that his ponytail made him look like a dead anime mom and it mentally fucked him up for 2 day before he cut his hair down to his shoulders "just incase"

Sparrow doesn't have a favorite. he loves both his children equally. (its hero)

Sparrow believes in his heart that he's a bad father and thinks that Lark would do a better job than him (despite evidence to the contrary)

When Sparrow started doing yoga, both Lark and Henry had a heart attack cause he would do EXACTLY what barry did and start just yoga-ing mid-conversation.

Sparrow is still afraid of snakes.

Sparrow still has dreams about when Lark died in Oakvale, and it scares the shit out of him. Because of that moment, Sparrow is so afraid of Lark dying alone on a mission that it has gotten them into screaming matches because Lark refuses to stop going off on his own.

Sparrows favorite TV show actually IS the sunrise because it's been so long since he's seen it. He paints it a lot.

Sparrows second favorite TV show is gossip girl.

Sparrow thinks Harry Potter is stupid cause real spells are nothing like the Harry Potter ones.... but like.... he also owns a hufflepuff sweater.

If sparrow paints when he's blackout drunk he always ALWAYS paints the doodler. He burns the paintings cause they give him nightmares.

Sparrow feels like he, personally, is the reason the doodler was released. Because his drawing is what started the whole mess.

However, he feels like Henry is responsible for what Lark did.

Sparrow participated in heros training but he wasn't the main source of it. And he's the one who made Lark cut it off.

Sparrow has no idea if either of his kids are actually his. He asked both Rebecca and Lark if the timing lined up and they both just grimaced.

He played barbies with his kids when they were little and considered going to AA meetings after hero made the dad barbie get drunk at 3pm and fall asleep on the couch crying.

Sparrow has seen ALLLL the barbie movies #dadofadaughterthings

His favorite is Princess and the Pauper.

Sparrow was the one who set the school on fire. After he became a love wolf, he wrote a letter of "apology" to the school suggesting they make their classrooms less flammable.

Sparrows favorite kiddad (aside from lark) was Terry Jr. But he wasn't really all that close with him. it's like when you just observe someone from the outside and get invested. They still hung out tho. But both Lark and Sparrow are personally closest with Grant.

Sparrow is more afraid of Lark dying than he is of himself dying.

Lark:

For the longest time, Lark had pretty short hair, especially in comparison to sparrow who grows his out. But after code purple Lark stopped really caring about cutting it.

Lark bitched about normal never washing his mascot costume but Larks bomber jacket hasn't been washed since before normal's birth.

He smells like cigarette smoke all the time.

Lark drinks black coffee like normal people drink water. he drinks it hot when he can, but he also drinks it cold out of a fucking flask like a psychopath.

His ass never sleeps, or when he does its like 4 hours a night. he's constantly running on 14 cups of coffee and a prayer.

like and share if both you and your twin have ADDICTION ISSUES.

speaking of addictive shit, lark does not drink. he's too fuckin on edge to allow himself to be in a vulnerable position. especially since he has to willingly put his mind at the mercy of the doodler shit.

he did, however, smoke weed a lot with nick as teenagers.

Lark didn't get that moment of being absoultely alone in the world like sparrow did when he watched lark die, so lark literally just doesn't comprehend how much it would effect other people if he died. so he's an insensitive asshole about it.

He cares if he dies, but only in the sense that he feels he's the most capable of the kiddads of fighting the doodler and keeping everyone alive, and dying would inconvenience that.

He got arrested for trying to sneak a gun into hero's 1st grade classroom, quote, "in case of emergencies. its fine. she knows how to use it." unquote.

shockingly, this arguments was not taken well by the police.

Lark lives with sparrow because both of them are a fucking wreck without each other and they need that other half to stabilize them.

Lark knows a shit ton about the rocks on old earth from henry and he HATES that its legitimately helpful knowledge on the plane where its really easy to loose your mind and forget where you are and knowing the geology of the terrain really helps navigation.

He wore his glasses one time. for his drivers test. and has never worn them since.

He's is a really really good driver. he doesn't follow any of the traffic laws, but he's never gotten pulled over, and he'll get you places 3 hours early. He knows how to parallel park too its insane.

during one of the "camping trips" with hero, Lark pretended to be a bear to "keep her on her toes" and got shot in the shoulder.

His ass has like three prepper bunkers.

Lark is no longer afraid of snakes. (lie)

he's not a vegan anymore, and he'd never admit it, but Lark actually still prefers a lot of the "vegan substitute meats" that he ate as a kid.

Larks hair is curlier than sparrows because sparrow brushes his and makes it fluffy rather than curly, but Lark hasn't brushed his hair a day in his life.

Lark definitely has a favorite. its hero.

Larks least favorite of Normal's spouses is Lincoln (he slapped him that one time)

When he was alive, Lark and Terry Jr. had that awkward relationship of like "our friends are friends, but I don't really like you"

The main reason Lark grew out his beard, doesn't wear glasses, is all in an effort to not look like Henry. It mostly works until it doesn't.

Sparrow doesn't make that effort to avoid looking like their dad, and sometimes, he looks just like Henry. Especially when he's being kind and fatherly to hero and normal. Lark feels really bittersweet about it.

Lark knows that the doodler is his fault.

Sparrow has walked in on Lark trying to wrap up actively bleeding wounds in the bathroom in the middle of the night so many fucking times they have a jar for it now.

This is extra annoying to sparrow because sparrow HAS HEALING SPELLS. there is NO REASON for Lark to be actively staining the carpets with blood on his tromp through the house.

Lark is the main one who was training hero, the training was much much more brutal when sparrow wasn't there.

He's deffo the one who made her kill a deer with her bare hands.

Lark got the idea from batman to make contingency plans for if any of his friends turn on him. They're all 10 pages long. Sparrow found his and Lark had to make a whole new plan cause now that one was compromised.

Lark was bribed into playing barbies with the kids and then got yelled at by sparrow when he made his barbie kill all the other barbies.

Grant got prescribed anxiety meds, and Lark made a huge deal about them dulling your senses and instincts so he doesn't take them.

Lark should be on anxiety meds.

[albert-tsum]

I just want to give my thoughts on the whole "Wesker preys on Rebecca due to the photo in RE2" rumors since it still seems to be relevant and discussed about? (atleast there are posts, asks and comments on Tumblr, Instagram and Pinterest and probably Tiktok and Twitter about that from this or last year)

Tl:dr I don't think he ever felt something for her* and if I'd be sure he preys on her I wouldn't have this tsum and account

Soo just a few reasons why I think so and information I came across when I was researching this, this post will be way too long but here we go

*if you have official canon information saying he is into her pls write me but I didn't come across smth like that (yet) and also feel free to inform me if my information are false

-------------------

1) it's an *easter egg* most likely put in by the devs for the player to see and not meant to be canon information (you have to search the desk multiple times, I think that indicates it's an easter egg and not any canon information they want the player necessarily to know)

2) the RE devs love *fanservice*, just look at e.g. some outfits of their female characters, putting the device control on Jills chest etc so it's not unrealistic that they do that shit to Rebecca too even tho she's only 18

3) the picture was *undeveloped* so Wesker couldn't even know what the photo looked like, also there is no evidence or indication that he took the photo like some people assume, they simply could have placed a camera on or in his desk to but there isn't

4) it has smth like "new member/recruit" written on its back (and yeah it was kinda weirdly translated as "rising rookie" in RE2 but I think that meant the same as the japanese text) so it seems to be a official photo given to the STARS captains and showing her in (an official RPD) Basketball uniform would show that she's athletic, smth important for her job und the uniform is designed by Capcom bc as I said they love skimpy outfit fanservice stuff (also she is knowingly posing for the photo so it's not a creepy stalker pic made without her permission)

5) the desk is *most likely shared with Enrico Marini* who is the actual captain of BRAVO team, the team Rebecca is a member of and not ALPHA team which was lead by Wesker

6) also some canon stuff about the interactions of Wesker and Rebecca:

Well, the only canon interaction between them has Wesker shooting her without hesitation, if they wanted him to be into her they could simply having him try to abduct her and showing her the tyrant in RE1 remake to impress her but no he doesn't care about her and is focused on Chris

(Also I saw some fanart, posts etc where they depict Rebecca being the fav of STARS Wesker while hating Chris which is bs bc he rarely knew Rebecca since she just joined a short time before the mansion incident and Wesker compliments Chris, saying he is his best man and is proud of him)

7) also in RE0 when he and Birkin are watching Rebecca and Billy they could simply put a creepy line from Wesker about her but he is just neutral about her

Also there is no notion that he tried to come after her post RE1 or to observe or abduct her

Sooo, sorry for bringing that topic back, maybe I'll delete this later because it's unnecessary but I just felt like writing that

PS: I am fully aware that Wesker is a horrible human being and it's understandable to hate him but that doesn't automatically mean he's a sexual predator

[solitary-bones]

ALL THE KIDDAD - TEEN REUNIONS OH MY GOD

like fucking love wolf sparrow!!!!!!! fucking finally proud of his son oh my fucking god sparrow. I can't believe it took his son saving the fucking world for him to be proud of him. like sparrow.... please. s1 sparrow would eat s2 sparrow alive. anyways. his mom tho!!! Rebecca is back!!!!

GRANT & LINK AUGHHHHHH the like enthusiastic boss kicks!!! to like I need you to be my dad again we're both broken shit like AUGHHHH and the GOOD HUG AUGHHHHHHH they are so important to me actually. Also Marco covering grant and lincons eyes with both his hands implies that he was still watching and wasn't really fazed so all of the assassin Marco truthers are winning.

TAYLOR AND NICK AND CASSANDRA OH MY GOD. Him choosing his stable relationship with his mom over dealing with his absent father is so based!!! getting the representation that you don't have to reconcile with shitty parents!!! I love it. like obviously like any other dndad fan I hope they can have a relationship in the future but if they don't it's fine! it's totally up to Taylor! shout out to Freddie for deciding to have the most fucked up family line with the most fucked up generational trauma.

SCARY AND TERRRYYYY IM SCREAMING. FUCKING HER CALLING HIM HER DAD LIKE OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDD AND THE HUG AND TERRY CRYING AND OH MY GOD I LOVE THEM IM SO HAPPY THEYRE FINALLY HAPPY AND WHOLESOME. scarys character development is actually something that can be so personal

[su4vz]

[IRON FLAME SPOILERS AHEAD]

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Soo, I just finished iron flame and oh boy-

XADEN TURNING INTO A FUCKING VENIN.

Unbelievable. Oh and andarna being the 7th dragon breed is just slaying.(I love her relationship with Tairn)

And I think the nightmares Violet had of the sage might be Xaden’s, and she somehow through the bond had the same nightmare???

Lilith’s death really made me cry for some reason, it was just so..sad? Idk but I really wanted to see her mending her relationship with the sorrengail siblings.

And Xaden mentioning that he doesn’t know where his mom is was surprising, cause I thought the whole time, that she was executed too,along with Fen Riorson.

Why do I feel like ‘naolin’ (if that’s how u spell his name) might’ve been the sage, cause like the sage addressed himself as a general or smth? Was naolin a general? If he was, it would make sense tho-

Rebecca did a really good job at astounding me at the end of the book.like why would HE TURN INTO A VENIN?????

I’m rating the book a fucking 4/5

I loved it.

[funniestpersonalivefr]

resident evil music headcanons

OKAY OKAY first time writing something and putting it out there but i need to speak my truth lmfao. dont judge too harshly im just autistic about resident evil

includes: albert wesker, leon s kennedy, chris redfield, claire redfield, jill valentine, rebecca chambers, and carlos oliveira

albert wesker:

let's be so fr wesker is gonna be a prick about music

only listens to classical music and maybe some slow smooth jazz

he only listens to music at home playing it through a record player

just imagine him sitting in his at home office working on research with tchaikovsky playing in the background

he'd enjoy going to ballets, symphonies, and operas and you cannot convince me other wise

leon s kennedy:

"he's so lana del ray coded" shut up his ass is listening to limp bizkit be so fr

especially when he's older its just divorced depressed dad rock

he's screaming the words to higher by creed in a bar and chris is trying to calm him down like yikes

definitely would try to go to concerts but they get so loud it gets a little overwhelming for him

he's got a banger cd collection and he's got a portable cd player he refuses to get rid of

chris redfield:

he says he doesn't have that much of preference in music as he just will listen to whatever is playing on the radio

however i think he definitely likes classic rock and classic country

he enjoys bands like queen, pink floyd, and the police

with his work schedule he rarely gets the opportunity to attend concerts and a lot of his favorite artists are dead (rip me too tho)

chris doesn't listen to a bunch of music but that's okay the man is busy

claire redfield:

claire, claire, claire

i wanna say claire is listening to abba and she sings along and dances whenever she does

she also would listen to stevie nicks

(also probably bands like weezer and gorillaz)

and i think as lana del ray started popping off claire was there listening like cmon guys she'd love the ultraviolence album

jill valentine:

jill is listening to the cranberries and the cardigans

when she was younger she loved loud rock but as she's getting older she finds herself wanting to listen to calmer music

when she was younger she would've loved bands like nirvana

now she likes to just plug her headphones in and lay down (its her way of escaping everything and taking a step back)

her and claire make playlists together 🫶

rebecca chambers:

can i real quick just say i love rebecca? okay thank you she is my girl

now idk if this is gonna be controversial but im gonna say it

she'd be a swiftie

she certainly doesn't enjoy taylors carbon emissions but she loves the music (her favorite album would be 1989 or lover)

she's also someone who uses a streaming platform instead of lugging around cds or something

carlos oliveira:

whore.

i just know this man is listening to songs like daddy's home by usher

he probably enjoys a lot of hip hop and rap

some of his favorite songs are captain save a hoe, california love, and it wasnt me

he's like if hey sexy lady by shaggy was a person

anyways just remember these are all my opinions and dont like scream at me for it yk. this is just a silly post. :)

[willalove75]

Sugar mommy Rebecca tho 😳

Ugh I LOVE Sugar Mommy Rebecca😍😍

Thanks for the request!!💕

Warnings: Little but of smut at the end. I mean, what's a Sugar Mommy Rebecca story without a little smut, right?😜

18+ Minors DNI

It's surprises you how interested you are in the sugar mommy/baby app you were forced to download after losing a bet to one of your friends. You had to make a profile and talk to a few women and you had every intention of deleting it as soon as you got home, but a few of the profiles piqued your interest so you decided to keep it.

One of the first women you matched with, BossGirl, much to your surprise has been a lot of fun to chat with. She tells you her name is Rebecca and she's almost twice your age, but neither of you seem to mind. Even though neither of you have seen photos of each other, since this is the Bantr version of a sugar mommy/baby app, there's a part of you that would really like to meet her, another part of you is scared shitless since you've never done something like this before. Although she admitted herself that she's never done anything like this before either so at least the both of you find comfort in that together.

After talking for a few weeks you decided to exchange phone numbers and take the conversation off of the app. It was something you were both nervous about, but you found it cute that she was just as nervous about it as you were. You both agreed that neither of you were comfortable with FaceTiming each other but eventually agreed to phone calls every so often. The calls usually took place at night after you both were home from work and as of late, one of you always ending up falling asleep, still on the phone. It's something the both of you found endearing. Her voice was like silk, a little sultry, but beautiful; if her voice was any indication of what she looked like, she was probably stunning.

A new message notification pops up and you grab your phone and open your conversation.

Good morning, how did you sleep?

I slept very well, although I missed out nightly chat 😕 How did you sleep?

So did I, I'm sorry I wasn't able to call. I slept well, but I did miss hearing your voice.

You've wanted to meet up with her for a little bit now but you haven't worked up the courage yet to ask, but today you decided was the day.

Well, I can think of a few ways to make it up to me😉

And what would they be?

Maybe we can go out to dinner this weekend?

You take a deep breath and hit "send" and nerves flood your body, fearful that you're pushing her into something she doesn't want. Her name pops up on your phone again and you open the text.

I think that's a fair compromise.

A cheesy smile crosses your face and you feel giddy, like a teenage girl.

Awesome, I'll let you pick the time & place, how does that sound?

Sounds wonderful. This Saturday, 6pm, I'll text you the address.

I can't wait.

Me either.

A squeal escapes from you as you kick your legs like a little kid. This woman seemed wonderful and the fact that she's willing to meet up with you? Completely insane.

The remainder of the week flies by and before you know it, you're getting ready for your date. Rebecca texts you the address and you call an Uber and you're on your way.

The car pulls up to the restaurant and it's gorgeous, you can tell just by looking at it that it's expensive. After thanking the driver you get out of the car and head inside to wait at the bar.

Just got here, I'm at the bar. I'm wearing a black cocktail dress.

Pulling up now.

Butterflies fill your belly as you keep your eyes on the door, studying every one who walks through the door, trying to figure out if they're Rebecca. A gorgeous, tall, blond woman walks in and look around at the bar, her eyes settle on you and you just know it's her. She walks over to you with a beautiful smile on her face.

"Y/n?"

"Rebecca, hi. It's great to finally meet you."

Rebecca wraps her strong arms around you and pulls you into a hug, every butterfly in your belly settles when you smell her perfume, the scent immediately relaxing you.

"I'm so glad I can finally put a beautiful face to that gorgeous voice." She says.

"You're telling me, wow." You say, admiring her beauty up close, getting lost in her stunning green eyes. "Sorry, I don't mean to stare, you're just really pretty." A blush creeps across your cheeks, it darkens when you feel her hand cups the side of your face and she smiles at you.

"You my dear are beautiful."

Rebecca takes your hand and the hostess leads you both to your table. After looking over the menus you order dinner and drinks and the two of you begin talking. Rebecca tells you that she manages a football club, you tell her that you're a graphic designer. You both talk about your jobs, what you enjoy about them, what you don't. Once the conversation about your careers is exhausted Rebecca asks you what brought you to the app.

"Actually, I downloaded it because I lost a bet. My friends made me make a profile and talk to a few people. I was planning on deleting it but then you and I started talking and got on so well I decided to keep it. What made you go on the app?"

"Well, my job is very demanding so I don't have time for a relationship, but I do have money and having some kind of companionship would be nice so I figured this was the best way to do it."

"That makes sense. I mean especially if you have the money and not the time, I get it."

"So, what do you want out of this?"

"Honestly, I don't really know. I know that's probably a shit answer given that we've been talking for so long but, truthfully I never really thought about it like that. I just really enjoyed talking to you. What about you?"

"Well, companionship, I'd love you take you out to more dinners, maybe take you as my plus one for a few terribly boring events I have to attend for work. I know sexual favors are often part of the deal but if I'm being honest, I don't love the idea of putting that on the table right away."

"I totally get that, honestly that was one of the things I was worried about. Don't get me wrong, you're stunning, but the thought of sleeping with someone I barely know for money feels icky. I'm not opposed to it happening eventually, though."

"Well it looks like we're on the same page." Rebecca says with a smile.

The waiter brings over your dinners and a second round of drinks and the conversation flows as easily as the drinks do. You don't feel like you're on a first date with your sugar mommy, you feel like you're out with someone you've been friends with for years. Rebecca has a wicked sense of humor, she's made you laugh more tonight than you have in a while. All night you caught yourself getting lost in her gorgeous eyes, just like you had hoped, she's just as beautiful as her voice, if not more.

After you finish dessert Rebecca pays the bill and you both walk out of the restaurant.

"I had a lot of fun tonight." You say.

"So did I, thank you very much y/n."

"Thank you, Rebecca. I hope we can do this again soon, I really had a good time with you."

"How about later this week?"

"Perfect."

Rebecca wraps her arms around you and hugs you goodbye as her driver pulls up. She waves at you as she gets into the car and her driver pulls away, your Uber pulls up a minute later and you head back home.

On the ride home your phone dings and you pick it up and see a text from Rebecca.

I had a wonderful time tonight. Would you like to have dinner again Wednesday night, 7pm?

I had a wonderful time too. And yes, absolutely, wouldn't miss it for the world.

The next few dates you and Rebecca went on were amazing, each date better than the last. The two of you got pretty close faster than either of you expected, on top of paying for dinners, Rebecca bought you little gifts each time you got together. The second date she sent a gigantic bouquet of roses to your house, the third date she got you a gorgeous tennis bracelet, and the last date you both went on she bought you a matching necklace. The day before your next date you get a package in the mail, you bring it inside and open it, revealing a gorgeous dress with a note.

Y/n, Just a little something for our date tomorrow night, I think you'll look amazing in it. The bracelet and necklace would look wonderful with it. Looking forward to seeing you wearing this. xx RW

You pick up the dress from its box, a gorgeous black satin dress with a high slit up the side, plunging neckline and open back. Excitedly, you run into your room and try it on and it fits perfectly, you have no idea how she managed to pick the perfect size, but you love it.

The next night you slip on the dress, a cute pair of heels you have that go perfectly with it, and the bracelet and necklace she bought for you. Looking in the mirror, you don't know if you've ever looked this elegant before in your life, it feels weird, but also really nice.

Just as you're about to order your Uber you get a text from Rebecca.

Come outside.

Curious, you open the door and you see Rebecca leaning against her car, wearing a beautiful red dress, a beige trench coat draped over her shoulders.

"Hey, I was just about to order and Uber." You say, surprised to see her.

"That's no longer necessary." She says with a smile as she walks up to you and wraps her arms around you. "You look absolutely stunning." She whispers into your ear. You feel your heart skip a beat when you feel her breath on your neck.

"So do you." You say quietly back as you admire how the dress she's wearing perfectly shows off every one of her phenomenal assets. Peeling your eyes away from her incredible breasts, your cheeks turn a light shade of pink as you look up at her.

"Ready?" She asks.

"Yeah, let me just grab my stuff."

You head back inside and take a deep breath before grabbing your bag and jacket and the two of you head out.

"So where are we going?"

"It's a surprise." She says with a wink.

The car pulls up to the waterfront and you both get out. Rebecca grabs your hand and leads you down the dock towards one of the gigantic yachts sitting in the water.

"Here we are." She says, coming to a stop near the biggest one.

"Woah."

"It's nice isn't it?"

You nod your head, speechless at the sheer size of the yacht in front of you.

"I bought this for myself after my divorce."

"Wait, this is yours?"

"Yes!"

"Holy shit. How much money do you have?!" The words fall out of your mouth before you're able to stop them. "Sorry, I didn't-"

Rebecca throws her head back and lets out a laugh.

"Oh don't worry. And a lot, you're one lucky sugar baby." She says with a wink. "Come on, I have a chef waiting inside. We're gonna go on a dinner cruise."

Stunned, Rebecca grabs your hand and pulls your forward towards the boat. You're in awe of the yacht, it's bigger than your flat, she gives you a brief tour, you see the saloon, the kitchen, the deck and the pilot house.

"There's more but I'll show you that all later, I don't know about you, but I'm starving."

On command your stomach growls and your put your hand over it and both you and Rebecca laugh.

"Come on, lets go." She takes your hand and leads you to the dining table on the deck, the sun is just setting and it's a gorgeous sight. The chef comes over and talks about what he's planning on making, you look over at Rebecca in disbelief when he says he's making your favorite dish.

"How did you-"

"You mentioned it on our first date, so I figured it would be perfect for tonight."

"You're amazing."

"Only the best for my sugar baby." She says, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. "You look beautiful by the way, that dress is perfection on you."

"I have no idea how you knew what size to get, but it's perfect. Thank you, so much Rebecca."

The chef brings over a bottle of wine and pours you both a glass. By the time you're finishing your second glass dinner is ready, and damn it's the best meal you've ever had in your life. Once the plates are cleared and another glass of wine down dessert it brought out, you and Rebecca split it, she feeds you a few bites and you both finish off the bottle of wine.

Rebecca takes you by the hand and walks you to the railing, overlooking the river as you sail through it. She wraps her arms around your waist and pulls you back into her, you gaze out over the water and turn to look at her over your shoulder. Her green eyes meet yours and you look down at her lips and back up into her eyes. She pulls you closer as you turn to face her and she closes the distance between the two of you. Your eyelids flutter as your lips meet, you sigh into the kiss as her soft, warm lips press against yours. She gently sucks on your bottom lip and you part them, her tongue sliding in and greeting yours. They dance around each other in harmony as you softly moan into her mouth. Your fingers tangle themselves in her hair and you feel one of her hands slide between your shoulder blades and the other one slide down your lower back.

As the kiss slows you both begin to part and gaze into each others eyes, her forehead resting against yours.

"Come on, I'll finish giving you the grand tour." She quietly says, grabbing hold of your hand. You follow her back down to the saloon and you both shed your shoes and she leads you down into the cabin area.

As if you already weren't incredibly impressed with the yacht, you come to find out that there's three guest bedrooms, three guest bathrooms and just when you think that was it, she opens the double doors to the owners cabin.

"Holy shit. Rebecca, this is insane." The cabin is almost the size of your room in your flat, she brings you into the bathroom and it's twice the size of yours.

"Jesus Christ Rebecca, this is bigger than my bathroom in my flat."

"It's gorgeous isn't it?"

"Uh, yeah?!"

"Oh, one sec, stay here, make yourself comfortable."

Rebecca walks out of the bedroom and you sit on the edge of the bed. A few minutes later Rebecca comes back with a new bottle of wine and two glasses.

"Can't forget the wine!"

"Oh god forbid we forget the wine!" You joke.

"Come on, watch this." Rebecca says as she closes the bedroom doors. She climbs onto the bed, patting the spot next to her.

Climbing into the spot next to her, Rebecca grabs one of the remotes and presses a button, what you thought was a massive picture in a frame, is actually the television.

"What?! That's so cool!"

"Right? It's one of my favorite parts of the whole yacht."

"Oh my god."

The two of you laugh and finish your glasses quickly, Rebecca immediately filling them back up. You look over at Rebecca as she talks, noticing how her eyes light up when she talks about the things she loves, how the crows feet in the corner of her eyes form when she's happy, you study the laugh lines around her mouth, how her lips always look so perfectly kissable. Truthfully you don't even know what she's talking about, you're so enamored with everything else about her you got lost in her beauty.

"Oh, you have lipstick on you." She says, leaning over and wiping the lipstick out from under your bottom lip. Unsure if it was smudged from the wine glass or your make out session earlier. She takes your chin between her thumb and forefinger and gently pulls your bottom lip down with her thumb.

Noticing that she's staring at your lips you close your eyes and lean in, your lips meeting hers. The kiss becomes passionate quickly, only pausing so you both can put down your wine glasses. Rebecca rolls you onto your back and she carefully climbs on top of you, her lips not once leaving yours. With her body pressed against you, all you want is for her to be closer. Her tongue explores the inside of your mouth and she gently bites and sucks on your bottom lip, a small moan escaping from you.

Her lips travel down your jaw, riddling your skin with kisses, and down your neck, nipping and sucking on your pulse point as she makes her way down. Your hand grabs the hair on the back of her head as she nips and sucks on your neck, her hands exploring your body as she kisses further down.

The wine begins to hit and time begins to speed by, one minute you're feeling Rebecca's lips against your skin, the next she's throwing your dress and thong across the room. Your head spins as you feel her tongue against your heat, crying out her name when her fingers slide into you. Time becomes an illusion, you don't know how quickly or slowly it went by but you feel her push you over the edge as you clench down around her fingers, your back arching and eyes rolling to the back of your head. Whines and begs escaping from your lips, you don't know how loud you were and truthfully you didn't care, all you knew was that you never wanted her to stop.

The spinning slows as she helps to bring you down from your high, you feel yourself panting, your hair sticking to your forehead and to the back of your neck. When you finally open your eyes and look up you see Rebecca tossing her dress and undergarments aside, your jaw dropping as your eyes rake up and down her body.

"Fuck."

Rebecca smirks, gently grabbing your hand and running it up and down her naked body. You try and take control of your hand and she pulls it away, a sound of disappointment escaping from your lips.

"What's the matter love?" She teases as she straddles your lap on the bed. "You like what you see?" She whispers in your ear.

"Yes." You pant, tightly holding onto her hips.

"Tell me, what do you want to do to me?"

"Sit on my face."

Rebecca smirks and pulls you into a deep kiss. She grabs hold of the headboard and moves up as you slide down, her knees on either side of your head. Your head spins again as she lowers herself onto you, an animalistic instinct taking over when you hear her moan when your tongue makes contact with her dripping cunt.

You eat her out like you've never had a meal in your life, Rebecca grinds down onto your face, crying your name. Feeling her throb against your tongue you know she's getting close, you slide your arm around and bury two fingers deep into her. She throws her head back and cries out again, grinding hard onto your hand and face. Her walls clench down around you, you pump your fingers in and out of her harder, sending her over the edge. As she begins to come down, Rebecca tries to lift herself off of you but you pull her back down, pulling another orgasm out of her. You feel her body shake over you as she cums a second time, you guide her through the orgasm, letting her ride it out as long as possible.

When she finally comes down she collapses on top of you, leaving your fingers and your face a complete mess. The aftershocks course through her body as she tries to catch her breath, you wrap your arms around her, small pulses shooting down every time you feel her body twitch.

A pleasant silence falls, all you can hear is the sound of her breath. Rebecca holds you tight while you trace patterns across her back, your other hand gently scratching her scalp. A relaxed sigh comes from her, her heartbeat finally returning to normal.

Her green eyes meet yours when she looks up at you, a satisfied smile crossing both of your faces. You lean down and gently kiss her, your fingers tangling themselves in her blond curls. Rebecca curls into the crook of your neck when your lips part, her fingers tracing your collarbone.

It dawns on you that you've never been this relaxed, this at peace with someone else in your life. You don't want this moment to ever end.

"Can we stay here forever?" You sigh.

Warm kisses travel up your neck, making their way to your lips.

"Well, off season is starting in a few weeks." Rebecca says with a hint of mischief in her eyes.

"Oh is it now?"

"It is." Rebecca says, kissing an gently nipping at your neck and jaw. "My workload heavily decreases in the off season. A wonderful opportunity to sail down to, I don't know, Italy perhaps?"

You sit up a little and look into her eyes with wonder.

"Seriously?"

Rebecca playfully bites her lower lip and nods her head.

"Absolutely. Especially after that, you deserve one hell of a reward." Her gaze softens as she looks into your eyes. "You're amazing."

"So are you."

You both close the distance and pull each other into a deep kiss. A trip with your hot sugar mommy to Italy? Hell yes! Although you have a feeling that sooner rather than later you two are going to redefine your relationship, at least you hope so.

[polarspaz]

Okay, I'm sorry for bombing you with questions about InfectedRE AU so much (it will happen again), but I genuinely enjoy it so much and I want to know as much as possible.

With that said tho, I'm interested in Leon's living situation when he starts living at the base. Is he allowed out? You already showed that Ashley made him some clothes for the outside, but I kinda find it hard to believe that he would be allowed out, or at least not without someone to keep an eye on him.

And what about after the "cure" is made? (First of all, when is it even made? How long did it take Luis to make it?) Is he allowed to to move out or still forced to live at the base? Will he at least be allowed to go outside or is that also off limits because of the fact he can turn back at any point if his heart rate spikes up?

LOL it's okay! I say I write a massive wall of text...

-So Leon lives in an old USA base built in the deep wilderness of Alaska. It's about a full 24 hour drive to the nearest town, and the property is fully fenced in and plastered with DO NOT ENTER signs. So Leon is allowed outside if the coast is clear.

-Leon is not allowed anywhere in public. The military take him where they need him for missions and send him right back to the lab when the jobs done. He is escorted the entire time.

-Leon wears the disguise Ashley made for him when he's being transported between military bases. While his size makes him stand out, the outfit at least covers him completely from a lot of wandering eyes. ((Better for people to see a weird tall guy in a coat than a monster bug man.))

-Okay, now the cure took Luis at least a year 1/2 make. He wanted to make damn sure that he didn't accidently make Leon's situation any worse and tested the formula so much that Rebecca herself was starting to get worried. ((Luis is a perfectionist and still very hard on himself since his stint in Los Illuminados and Umbrella.))

-In beginning Leon isn't allowed out of base even with the drug. But over time the drug becomes more effective. Essentially the Plaga finally gets in sync with Leon's habits ((and insane fucking lifestyle)) and now knows when it's okay to relax and when it's time to kick ass.

-Seeing the improvement, the government allows Leon to be out in public, but he also must always have a handler. ((Handlers include Luis, Carlos, and the other soldiers that live with him in the lab like Tex.))

-While he's still forced to live in the Alaskan base, Leon honestly doesn't mind, as the place has become his home and he actually enjoys his life with the people there. In a way, they feel weirdly like family. ((Because I am big sap and love found family and happy endings))

[mindibindi]

The Failure of Ted Lasso's Unconventional Politics

SOCIAL CONDITIONING:

According to Brendan Hunt, shippers interested in a second chance, mature-age romance between Ted and Rebecca were being blindly, un-self-reflexively led about by their “social conditioning”. Presumably, however, the writers who wrote Ted returning to his heteronormative family unit – as well as all the viewers who enjoyed this ending and have defended it since – are completely free of social conditioning? No social conditioning is involved in reifying the white heterosexual family unit? No social conditioning is involved in deifying parenthood, fatherhood and patriarchy at the cost of all else? There is no social conditioning involved in a conclusion that values good ole working class Americana while rejecting the big, queer, complicated, multicultural world?

KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid):

If the creators wanted to gesture to “Cheers” as a classic American sitcom, then at least learn from its example. This show worked best when it worked with familiar, beloved characters in a familiar, beloved, but confined setting. "Ted Lasso" had a near-perfect first act, doing a simple thing well. But from s2 onward, the show started straying out of bounds. The cast of characters kept expanding and contracting: people were in, people were out, characters were coming and going and changing (what was the point of that whole Zava plotline?). We had multiple workplaces and workplace dramas (grew to like Barbara tho). Episodes got long and unwieldy. Themes got convoluted as the show took a long trip, imo, up its own arse. The folksy wisdom of s1 became grating self-indulgence and cliched “moment” manufacturing.  

SUPERFICIAL UNCONVENTIONALITY:

TL employed a familiar 3-part structure but ultimately its supposedly radical, unconventional politics was not reflected in the show’s structure. Since the first act started with Ted's arrival, you could see his departure coming from a mile off. Some folks are acting like returning Ted home constitutes some super brave move by the writers that we've never seen before. But if you want to talk social conditioning expressed through narrative expectation then you really couldn't get anything more conventional than this ending.

We've seen it all before:

Act I: Fish-out-of-Water character arrives and begins winning over a dubious, dysfunctional community Act II: Bonding, hijinks, missteps, complications and development Act III: Revelations of growth. Community sadly waves goodbye to teacher they love but no longer need. Cue credits with moving song choice.

It's as cliche, conventional and predictable as it gets. And I could condescendingly accuse every viewer who enjoyed this ending as being blindly and un-self-reflexively led around by their social conditioning. But even if I'm not one of the showrunners who also played a beloved character and who is speaking on a public forum, that would be a pretty fucking shitty move. What I am saying is that the disagreement over this ending speaks to some core ideological differences currently playing out across the globe around patriarchy, feminism, queerness and privilege. There is an opportunity here to examine what we socioculturally view as “good’ and “right” and “happy”. These ideas of good, right and happy are not necessarily benign and will be inevitably reflected in and reproduced by our art.

PATRIARCHY:

In the end, “Ted Lasso” literally chose patriarchy (but what kind is the question). Just because this show was working with a familiar 3-part structure, that doesn't mean it didn't need to justify Ted's inevitable departure. For many people, his son is enough. That's it. End of conversation. Henry trumps all. And yes, this was always going to be the justification used by the series. But I think this disagreement highlights changing attitudes to modern parenting. Everyone agrees that parenting requires sacrifice: large and small, everyday and lifelong. But how much sacrifice is too much?

For some people, this was too much sacrifice. Others seem to think it was Ted's duty to sacrifice for his son his own sense of family and community, his continued health and growth, his professional fulfilment. Imo, he could have shared all of this with him but chose old-school parental sacrifice instead. I consider this kind of sacrifice to be something that culturally we’re coming to recognise as unhealthy, for both parent and child. In reality, parents are more than one thing. Parents have jobs, interests, relationships, needs, limitations and struggles. Parents are people.

In the series, Ted was established as a person: a person with a sad past, a tortured inner world, a strong desire to connect with others and, potentially, a brighter future than his past. From the beginning, his relationship with Michelle was established (and often reinforced) as over, dead, absolutely no route back in. But his relationship with his son was loving and important to him. Of course it was. He’d be a bad man and unlikeable character if it wasn’t. Even so, Henry isn’t a major or fully realised character in this show. We care about him, relate to him through Ted. He matters to us because he matters to Ted. But frankly, we are far more attached to Ted’s other adopted “children”, the relationships we have watched him develop over 3 years, than the relationship we only saw glimpses of. That’s just narrative reality. In reality, yes, Henry would and should be Ted’s first priority. This is only right. In fiction, the team at Richmond should have been the first priority of Jason and the rest of the writing team. They are the ones we want to see and want to see happy and settled.

As many frustrated viewers have stated, it's not Ted's departure that is so disheartening but how it was done. If the TL team wanted to make this choice seem like a healthy one for Ted then they needed to establish other things waiting for him in Kansas: friends, community, employment, fulfillment. As it was, literally nothing tipped the scales in favour of Kansas. There were no romantic, community or larger familial relationships to get back to. Far too much was just left to inference or imagination. Yes, we can assume that Ted has community in Kansas, that he will probably get a great job after his success in Richmond. But all the people and opportunities we would like to infer/imagine will never tip the balance towards Kansas when we consider all we KNOW is already established for him in Richmond. The homeworld and beloved characters of a show will always hold more emotional weight than anything undefined and hypothetical. If viewers were to be happy with Ted’s exit then the writers needed to take the time to lovingly define his future away from the club.

Instead, it seems like a deliberate choice to shut Ted down and perform (and I do mean “perform”) this marvelous sacrifice for his son that so many think is admirable. It’s this shutdown that is so inconsistent and confusing. Because at any time in the hour, Ted could have said to Rebecca, the Diamond Dogs and/or his team:

“Look y'all this ain't the end. We’re family now. I'll be back. I'll show y'all round Kansas anytime you wanna visit. My mom will cook a dinner that will clog your arteries. And every so often, what say we do a long-distance movie night, huh? I'll miss you all but I’ll be watching every game and I can't wait to come back and see you win the whole fucking thing!!”

Ted could have been a model of honest, expressive, emotionally forthcoming, relationship-maintaining masculinity. But nope. Not a word. Just brave male sacrifice. It's straight up patriarchal propaganda. And truth is, fathers sacrifice way less than mothers do in heterosexual parenting relationships. Mothers are generally the ones making those small, everyday sacrifices that our society rarely acknowledges or admires. But I bet this ending makes all those lazy husbands and boyfriends feel real good about themselves. I bet it makes many female partners feel all warm and fuzzy to know that even though their kids’ father won't share half the labour that goes into raising a child, when it comes time for him to perform a massive manly sacrifice for his family, he toootttaaally will. I'm sorry, what were you saying about social conditioning Mr. Hunt?

FATHER GOD or WHITE SAVIOUR?:

Patriarchy needs its Father Gods and its Mother Gods to play certain roles (tho, to paraphrase Angela Carter, both are as silly as each other.) These magical figures materialise at pivotal times then dematerialise when the narrative is over, the pivotal lessons learned. They never themselves learn or alter. Think Mary Poppins or Nanny McPhee. These figures are not entirely human, they possess an element of the supernatural. They serve others, serve a higher purpose. Nanny McPhee's appearance changes only as a reflection of her charges’ growth. Mary Poppins – the figure to whom Ted is most likened – learns to care about her kids but she doesn't engage in any self-introspection. Her duty and trajectory remains unchanged. When she arrives at her next job, she will do so exactly the same as she was.

These otherworldly mother deities are not unproblematic feminist figures themselves. But creating a male, fatherhood deity becomes even more problematic when he is white, cis-het and pretty able. Ted arrives to teach all the black and brown lost boys, to unite the disconnected women, liberate the closeted gays and to update the bumbling English gentlemen (there is, I feel, a special relish in these American bros educating their former colonisers on modern manhood). Here, we start to stray into white saviour territory. Frighteningly, this kind of patriarchal demi-god implies that white men are the most progressive figures in a society, they are in the political vanguard, championing the needs of the disconnected and downtrodden. White men are the ultimate source of wisdom, kindness and progress. It represents them as a group as progressive, when in reality the attitudes and politics of this group represent conservative politics and regressive values that impede the progress of every other marginalised group. If we buy this myth about white men, then we are more likely to accept what they say to us from their positions of power and privilege as right, wise, kind and progressive, even when it is the opposite.

So, if you are going to put forward a white man as a model of progressive politics, then you need to embrace unconventionality, not just superficially but down to your bones. “Ted Lasso” tried to structure s2 and s3 differently but just ended up making a mess of allusions and ideologies that did not connect, cohere, develop or conclude. In fact, sometimes they straight-up contradicted.  Employing a magical 3-part structure and making a bunch of meaningless allusions to well-known classics does not another classic make. They did not engage with any of these classics (“Cheers”, “Mary Poppins”, “The Wizard of Oz”) in any deep or critical way. Classics may be loved but they are not faultless. If you simply repeat what has already been done, even in celebrated classics, you may just end up repeating mistakes someone already made for you to learn from. TL repeats the central feminist problem of parental deities in “Mary Poppins”, just as it repeats the irreconcilable ending of “The Wizard of Oz”.

LIMINALITY:

Both “The Wizard of Oz” and “Mary Poppins” take us into strange liminal worlds. “Ted Lasso” could be read similarly, except that Ted doesn't take any magic home with him. In fact, he seems to actively forget it, reverting to the Ted he was before leaving. No queerness or feminism follows him home, no traces of the various cultures he's come into contact with. The liminal remain liminal with no indication that these two worlds will communicate or can integrate. The non-white, female, queer and otherwise bizarre are left outside of Ted’s squeaky clean hometown heteronormativity. And I really don’t think I have to explain why that is so deeply irresponsible. Because again, this is a writing choice.

That epilogue at the end was brief but imagine if it included more detail: Ted texting with Rebecca, or facetiming with Roy, Jamie giving Henry advice. They didn't take the time to honour and continue these relationships or integrate these two worlds. They didn't suggest that responsible fatherhood could entail many things, could look different. “Sacrifice,” they said profoundly. “Fatherhood,” they murmured mistily. “Patriarchy” was their final word to which this feminist says, “Bullshit.”

PRIVILEGE:  

I only did one film unit at uni but it really doesn't take much to deconstruct the absurdly inconsistent ending of “The Wizard of Oz”. It was 1939, the end of the Great Depression and the start of another devastating world war. People needed to be convinced that their small ramshackle b/w lives surrounded by loved ones were stable, noble even. They already had everything they needed. They didn't need Oz. They didn't need bright futures, big adventures or exciting opportunities. Monochrome Kansas was all a good American should ever hope for. There was danger in difference, safety at home.

Well, here we are in late-stage capitalistic hell, having come through (???) a pandemic and it takes a special sort of privilege to say to an audience: you don't need money or opportunity or community, they won't make your life any better than before. Be happy with the muddy and mundane. Be happy with what you've got. Turn away from larger community, greater knowledge, continued stability, and isolate yourself in a bubble of you and yours. Look, it's not a sweet or familiar narrative conclusion but the truth is, Ted’s, Henry’s and Michelle’s lives would have all been better if they'd relocated to London. Do these dolts have any idea what teachers (in the USA esp) are currently going through? How overworked and underpaid and undervalued these people are? The burnout rates?? Ted didn't have to take the highest salary Rebecca offered but, had the writers been willing to put in the effort, a more unconventional, more modern ending to this series could have been crafted.

Not that I'm surprised they took the easy road to glory. All indications from the beginning of s3 suggested that this would be the rather predictable conclusion. Indications do not, however, constitute development. This team had the opportunity to write a new ending to an old story, one that incorporated queer, feminist and anti-capitalist values. One that defined a different, new version of patriarchy. They didn't even think to. In their white boi hubris, they just assumed that they and tradition knew best. Considering how many viewers would be struggling right now for food, housing, employment and opportunity, an ending in which Ted turns down an opportunity like this hits a false, rather virtue-signally note. Literally, nobody would have come out worse. Everybody would have benefitted from Ted staying in Richmond. Which means this decision was made purely to manufacture a “moment” that celebrates patriarchy.

ANTICAPITALISM: There’s a reason they had Rebecca offer Ted the biggest salary in his industry. They wanted to make it NotAboutTheMoney! Ted doesn’t say so (doesn’t say anything) but, because this narrative idea is so fucking familiar, we can assume the thoughts behind his oh-so-sage expression are: “Well, shucks now, boss, I rightly do appreciate the kindly offer but that there kid o’ mine is more important to me than any cash you could put in my silly lil handy-hands.” Good Lord. The cringe is real. I really, really can’t with this mighty, manly silence and sacrifice. My problem isn’t that Ted values his son over money (not that it has to be a choice because that money could benefit Henry and his mother, who is owed a heck of a lot of child support esp since she’s been raising their son solo for 3 years). Again, that is how it should be. My problem is that the show actively established Richmond as an anticapitalist landscape, then suddenly at the eleventh hour, tried to walk that back and imply it was actually a capitalistic landscape (in contrast to homey ole Kansas).  

Capitalism teaches us to sniff at money. We've been told by the monied and privileged that it won't buy happiness. (This is of course, utter bullshit because money can buy you a hell of a lot of wellbeing, security and opportunity). At the beginning of the series, Rebecca Welton stands for this principle. And by the end, she has found a way to use her extreme wealth and privilege in an ethical way. She gives it away. She supports others. She lets Sam out of a promotional contract, she funds Keeley’s business, she sells half the club to fans. The most obvious example of Rebecca’s anticapitalist politics is her confrontation with all the richy riches who want to take soccer away from the people. Here, she becomes an anticapitalist leader, one who has been positively influenced by the anticapitalistic politics of The Lasso Way.

The Lasso Way is anticapitalistic in that it stresses that winning isn’t everything. You try but you try together. You play hard, not in order to beat the other guy, but to be the best (player, teammate, man) you can be. There are no individual stars, only collaborative team players. You give due credit to others, the team, the support staff. The club functions well when it functions as a unit. Over the course of the series, it becomes a commune that protects and nurtures its citizens. A socialist haven that values people over profits, prizes and meaningless acquisition. The Greyhounds don’t want to win the league for the money or the top spot. Winning the whole fucking thing is an expression of their regard for each other, the game and the new, kinder ethos they all now live by.

Because they spent 3 years establishing all of this (during a time when we really needed to hear it), there is something v disingenuous about them then having Rebecca offer to go to extremes to pay Ted more money than any man should have. It is not consistent with the show’s themes, the ethos of the club, Rebecca’s attitude or what she knows of Ted. She knows it’s not about the money for Ted. It never was. It’s an act of desperation on her part, but why did they need to make her ridiculous, desperate, so inept in this moment? Hannah plays it beautifully but I can’t help but feel this is part of them diminishing Richmond, (re)casting it as excessively capitalistic in relation to Kansas so that they can turn Ted’s decision into a simple Money < Son choice. Because if it is a Money < Son choice then he has no dilemma. There is no other choice. He goes home to his son. The problem is, they’ve just spent 3 years proving that it is not a simple Money < Son dilemma. Money was never actually part of this equation. Ted left to give Michelle space, to find himself, to find a new life and community, to extend himself beyond what he knew as normal. As such, there is now far more than just money for Ted in Richmond (which tbf, Rebecca also points out, but I still think this point stands).  

The other major problem is that, here in the real world, middle-class America (which btw does not exist) is far from being a haven of peace and prosperity comparable to nowhere in the world. This is a lazy cliché than any amount of travel should quickly disabuse you of. And yet in Kansas, we are supposed to believe, despite everything happening in America (referenced by Henry in ep 3.01), Ted will find community, opportunity and stability. To pull off this ending, they needed to establish a Kansas unlike the one currently in existence. This is what they did with Richmond. The UK is no better than the US currently, but they nevertheless established an ideal society, one with values very contrary to the world we now live in. Is it any wonder that people saw the desertion of this world as a rejection of feminist, queer and anticapitalist values? Right now, more than ever, people want to believe in a society that isn't all about triumph, success, competition, acquisition, individualism and aggression. They want to believe in a society that emphasises community, values people, shares wealth, offers opportunity, encourages difference, improves lives and moves onward, forward, in circumspect but ethical steps. These themes were all there in the series. They just weren't utilised when it came time to shape its conclusion.

[speedofsoundsketches]

I'm curious, do you have specific favorite voice actors for the Sonic characters? (Like just the main few, Sonic, Shadow, Tails, etc.) if so, may we know your favorites?

Brace yourselves, this is gonna be a long one so under the cut.

Jun'ichi Kanemaru is THE standard for Sonic. The guy is passionate about the role and captures him perfectly. Plus, he's a great singer! The English VA that came closest to matching him is Jason Griffith. (honorable mention to Devon Mack. Low as my opinion is of Prime, Devon's voice is actually pretty suitable for Sonic. Would like to hear him in a better product!)

The late Chikao Ōtsuka for Eggman was wonderful, but I have zero complaints with Mike Pollack. Really, no matter what style or tone he's portrayed Eggman in, he's always done it superbly. I'd say of all English VA's that worked in this series, Mr. Pollack's probably been the one who's NEVER had a miss. Guy's got incredible range even in his work outside of Sonic (using this as a chance to shill the Pluto Anime since he starred in it. GO WATCH IT PLEASE.)

Tails is really really REALLY hard to mess up. His voice actresses have typically been great at capturing him (save for OVA Tails who talks like he has a cold). Coleen's a fine Tails and suitable replacement for Amy Palant but I may still prefer Palant just because she's the nostalgic one for me being in all the 2000's games plus Sonic X.

Knuckles voice preference is a tough call. His VA needs to be able to play up both his aggressive and gentler sides. It's a toss up between Dan Green and his current VA Dave B Mitchell. Mitchell has been doing good work in the animated shorts so I like him and he's the best we've had since Dan moved on. His Japanese VA, Nobutoshi Kanna, is great as well for the same reasons. :)

Amy's best actress is still her JPN VA, Taeko Kawata (who is also a lovely singer!) Lisa Ortiz to this day is STILL her best ENG VA. She captured Amy's youthful, cutesy appeal but can IMMEDIATELY switch to her assertive side naturally. Fantastic range and it's too bad that Amy's assertiveness has been subdued so much lately that this can't be fully appreciated anymore.

Cream's had far fewer options to choose from. I like both her actresses in JPN (Sayaka Aoki) and ENG (Rebecca Honig) honestly. I do like the almost whispery gentleness to her ENG voice particularly. Just helps her feel very soft and sweet.

Shadow's JPN VA, Kōji Yusa, is so good. You really can't go wrong here. For the ENG VA, this might be a bit controversial because while I appreciate David Humphrey as Shadow's debut in SA2, I'm still partial to Jason Griffith purely because once he got accustomed to Shadow as a character, he really elevated the role. I think his performance in 06 was one of the best moments for the character overall.

Rouge might one of the few times where I actually prefer her current ENG voice actress, Karen Strassman, to her older one. Her JPN VA, Rumi Ochiai, is THE standard tho so Karen just suits her best as a close match! Youthful yet still mature and her flirty quality doesn't sound too forced.

Omega's JPN VA (Taiten Kusunoki) IS SO AMAZING. It's hilariously deeper than I expected but still robotic so something about it just WORKS. His ENG VA is alright too. But I just love the JPN Voice, I don't know why.

May do a part two if I have time for the others!

[timetravellingkitty]

you don’t talk about your fav books here? on the book nerd webbed site? Okay, top 5 books of all times, let’s go. Be generous and copious with the reviews

HELP WHAT'S WITH THE CALLOUT 😭😭 you're not even that wrong tho like I had this sideblog (that's inactive now rip) that was like "ooh books ooh dark academia look at meeee" but uh yeah. I haven't been reading much these days (don't ask I will cry) but I sometimes do talk about some or the other book I've read, I'm just a loser for not doing it enough but anyways. Favourite books

We Are Okay by Nina LaCour: like I mentioned, sad, raw, etc etc I finished reading this an hour before the new year (2023) so I just spent the rest of it just thinking about it?? I think it came to me at the perfect time cause this was 2 months after my grandmother died even tho I had a complicated relationship with her it really did help a lot

The Hunger Games: yes. This one. When I first read it I identified with Katniss so much cause she was what I saw myself as (no not smart and resourceful I'm still none of that but aloof, unlikable, brash, blunt and would do quite literally anything for their younger sibling). Honestly I think it helped shaped the reader I am today, it really got pre-teen me thinking more so yeah. I quite literally owe this series my life I have nothing but love for it

The Earthsea Cycle: THIS ONE IS FANTASTIC. So simple, so magical, so wonderful to read. Ged is a great protagonist, literally THE OG wizarding school series. Poetic resolution if you ask me

A Thousand Splendid Suns: idk maybe reading this at the tender age of 12 did something to me but who am I to complain this one's literally heartwrenching it's so engrossing IT'S ABOUT HOPE IN THE MIDST OF DESPAIR, IT'S ABOUT RESILIENCE AFSJKLS. Mariam and Laila's relationship is one for the ages literal narrative foils idc idc I think about them all the time

Rebecca: I have no explanation for this one. It just makes me go feral okay the tension, the layers, the ominous and gothic atmosphere I'm a little in love the writing is nothing short of captivating

Honorable mentions go to the Riordanverse (This one was also pretty formational), Blackout (yes I rated this 4 stars. No I do not care this one called me single in 6 languages don't ask it's just. Very nice no rhyme or reason here chief), Pachinko, Parable of the Sower, The Kite Runner and Last Night at the Telegraph Club

[biohazard-4ever]

My problem with Resident Evil CGI Movies:

Plot.

Come on. Resident Evil is not loved because of its plot. It is not a The Walking Dead level of universe-plot with a hint of Game of Thrones for its' world structure.

Resident Evil has a simple and rather silly plot but we have a gameplay and game mechanics to barrer our vision from really noticing how silly it all really is.

Meanwhile in the movies, we don't have that barrier. We have nothing to distract us from the plot and its' inconsistence.

Sometimes, I feel like the movies are technically over-glorified cutscenes. Maybe it is what they are.

But here is were comes the importance for them to not treat the movies like they would treat a game.

The most memorable moments from the CGI movies and serie were not the type of B.O.Ws being used, was not the Final-boss look, was not the weapons being used...

The most memorable scenes from each movies, where the ones focusing on the characters acting as Humans. We play the games, we know how this dance goes. What we want, is to see those characters interacting and reacting to the universe we are used to see them being put through.

Degeneration: Leon and Claire's dialogue in the tent. The mention of her role as a rescuer and Leon pointing it as a path he couldn't follow, tho he would have if he could.

Damnation: Literally. When I talk to people about Damnation 99.9% of the time they need to bring up Leon in his Hotel room doing nothing. Other times, the talk is about his final speech to Buddy.

Vendetta: Need I say more? The bar/Hotel scene. With Leon at his lowest being tormented by Rebecca and Chris.

Death Island: Leon and Jill's interaction. Those were one of the highlights of DI. We never had them canonically even mentioning about each other. And who is not a fan of the movies or doesn't even know about them, Leon and Jill don't even know about each other's existence.

The point in here is...

We KNOW the movies will not move forward with the game Universe plot. The movie has to start and end in one go. Arias has to be introduced and killed in the same movie. Curtis Miller needs to settle things with his Sister Angela here, and now.

So, no... We are NOT watching the movies for their plot, as they are NOT important for the games or the universe as a whole. The movie's plot can NOT advance on the canon storyline.

And when Vendetta was SAID to bring a little about Leon's childhood, we all lost our ground a little.

So.. In MY opinion. For actually GOOD movies, the CGI movies should be completely focused on the characters' relationship with each other. Treat them as Humans.

So that people not interested in "trivial things" such as characters' childhoods, can simply ignore the movies, and those who do watches the movies, can fully enjoy it with deeper contents about the characters we love and care for.

It is simple as that! Keep the movies as a way to HUMANIZE the characters!