#Remember: u can start a project youre passionate about even if the first few works for it look like garbage

[minas-linkverse]

Dare I say, I think my art has improved. 😌💛

[winter-soldier-vibes]

Hey darling ❤️ love your writing 3000 :) can u do one with Bucky x reader (they’re together) where he overhears the reader on the phone with her parents that are emotionally & verbally abusive towards her (they always have been) and the reader has to explain it all to him afterwards even tho she’s having a panic attack (bc she’s afraid bucky will leave her since she has no one else to go to ??) and bucky comforts her and reassures her that he’s gonna be there for her and like comfort fluff? I live in an emotionally abusive and manipulative household rn and I tell you your fics are like an escape for me. Even if u don’t do this thank you from the bottom of my heart :)

Hey there, I love you 3000 ❤ I am so so sorry to hear about your situation, and while I'm glad to hear that my writing is an escape for you, I want you to know that I'm here for you. No one should have to go through what you described. I hope that this can bring you some comfort but please, I encourage you to reach out to someone who can help you. My DM's are open as well, you shouldn't face this alone. I'm here for you!!!

You owe them nothing

Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 3200 (ish)

Warnings: emotional abuse/gaslighting, manipulation, parent issues, tears, angst, breakdown, fluff.

---------

You really tried to keep it hidden. It wasn’t something that everyone needed to know about.

Your parents loved you, at least that’s what they had said. But it was one of those things where you felt like it was for show - the kindness that they showed when you were around others faded away once you were alone with them.

You remember once they had said “of course I love you, I’m your parent!”

But that made you wonder how they would treat you if you weren’t theirs.

They were horrible to you for as long as you could remember. Gaslighting you and making you feel like you owed them something even though they were the ones who should have taken care of you.

They were around but never…there. They would be there for family dinners but they were always riddled with criticisms of grades and who you were talking to and how you dressed. All of your hobbies were seen as a waste of time, something you should only do when you had nothing else to do. School came first, naturally, but there was always something they told you you had to do before you could do anything for yourself.

Yet when you would complain about being depressed, they told you to get a hobby because you never do anything.

Tired meant lazy, energetic and passionate meant loud and annoying. When you were quiet they thought you had nothing to say, yet when you expressed your opinions you were told to shut up.

You couldn’t win.

You could never make them happy, there was always something you were doing wrong.

They thought it was their right to monitor who you talked to and saw, what you did outside of school, what sports you could join. When you would say no to the school dances or parties you would make up an excuse about not wanting to go or having work to do. Your friends would call you a buzz kill. Little did they know you would give anything to go.

Whenever you would do something wrong (or anything, period,), your parents would yell at you. They would curse you out, make you cry, only to yell at you for crying like a little bitch.

The older you got, the worse it was.

You thought when you moved out it would be better. But you had all these years of being told you were worthless and having them be your providers. When you got your own place you didn’t really have any friends, nor did you really know how to make friends. You had a job to help you get by, you could support yourself. That wasn’t the issue. You could support yourself, you always had to.

It was that you were so lonely.

You wanted friends but you were so afraid of the criticism you would get. You were afraid to make yourself known, because you were always taught that being told what to do and taught what to think was much more appealing than having your opinion.

But this was an opinionated world.

You were good at what you did, so good that you had gotten a job at S.H.I.E.L.D. You thought that would make you happy, more importantly that it would make your parents happy, but no such luck.

“I got a really great job, guys.”

“Fantastic. I guess you’re just doing so great without us,” they had snapped.

“What? I mean… this is what you wanted right? For me to get a good job?” you had said, confused.

You heard a loud sigh on the other end of the line. “Of course we do, what are you crazy about? Of course we wanted you to get a good job but you just deserted us like we were trash. Have we done nothing for you?”

You felt your heart sink in your stomach. ‘Of course you guys have, I love -”

“Don’t say what you don’t mean. If you really cared about us you’d be helping us out. You got a great job and probably have a huge paycheck that you hoard and you left us here to struggle to make ends meet.”

You took the phone away from your face temporarily to take a shaky breath. Of course they would go there with the salary, why wouldn’t they? All of your paychecks had gone to them, since it was their house and they were feeding you, leaving you with barely enough money for your car and gas and phone bills, only for them to suggest longer hours when you complained.

“I can help you guys out if you need,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady.

You heard an exasperated sigh on the other line again. “You really should be more grateful, you know? We raised you your entire life and then you leave us alone? You never even call us? You’re so fucking selfish.”

Then the line went dead.

You shook your head and felt tears in your eyes as you spoke to yourself. “Well maybe I would call you if it didn’t always yell at me.”

Of course, you would never say that.

See, it wasn’t so bad. You never said anything because they were only ever mean to you, which would make you uncomfortable. There were people out there that would get hit or who would have to raise themselves from a young age. Once you grew thick skin it wasn’t so bad, you were just being dramatic.

Right?

Your new job was fairly successful, you were fantastic at what you did. You did a lot of behind the scenes work, weapon repair and plans of action with missions. Not that they needed much help with that. Still, they took you in as their friends.

Well, as close as you would let them get to as friends.

It took a while before you warmed up to them. Everyone tended to keep to themselves, but not as much as you. You kept the parts of you hidden away - you were there for a job, you did it, and you did it well. You knew how to do your job but interacting with the team, making friends - you didn’t want to get emotionally attached.

Not like you knew how to make friends to begin with.

Naturally you were drawn to the quieter side of the team, once you were able to open up. They were all nice but sometimes the parties and the jokes were a bit much. You just didn’t want to say or do the wrong thing that would make you the punchline.

No one needed to know about you, or how you would spend your free time being yelled at through a phone with you trying to make it better. That wasn’t part of the job, so you shouldn’t bring it up.

It wasn’t like anyone would want to help. You were just a nuisance to everyone around you.

Right?

No one talked about their life before the team much. Not many people on the team had a great life before the Avengers first came together. Natasha or Wanda had once spoken about how this team was a family. And as much as you wanted to believe it, you helped the team. You weren’t a part of the team. So even if that were true, it didn’t include you.

At least, that was your point of view.

The team viewed you as a part of the team as much as any of them. You didn’t fight with them but you made sure everything would go as smoothly. You were kind and great at what you did, but they wished you would open up more. Of course, being a team of people who had trouble opening up, they understood.

Bucky was one of the ones who took a liking to you, mostly because he saw a lot of himself in you. He could tell there was something that you were trying to get past but weren’t quite able to yet. That there was something bothering but you wouldn’t dare say it for fear of bothering someone. You threw yourself into projects and distractions and from the way you carried yourself, he guessed you were avoiding something that you weren’t ready to work through. At least, not yet.

He knew that feeling too well.

The ex-assassin was one of the easiest for you to open up to because he didn’t expect much from interactions. Both of you were quiet and kept to yourselves that there wasn’t much pressure to share anything or say anything. You knew his past but would never bring it up unless he wanted to. Which eventually, he did. You could tell he felt pressure to be who he was before HYDRA took him, and while Steve was surprised he opened up to you first, you weren’t. Steve knew Bucky before everything, and you didn’t have that bias. He was whoever he was today regardless of who he was yesterday.

And Bucky found comfort in that.

You think you would’ve too, if you thought you deserved it enough to do the same.

See, you were worried that you were making everything worse than it really was. You worried that maybe you were being too sensitive or that what you had grown up with was normal. With everything that everyone on the team went through, a few insults from your parents was hardly anything. You were being dramatic.

There was nothing to be sad or angry about. You just had to get over yourself.

Right?

You were getting by until one night when your parents called, as they did on occasion. You were in the middle of working, so you ignored it. The phone went to voicemail before it started ringing again, and you ignored it, again. The third time you sighed and picked up your phone, turning away from your work.

You took a deep breath before you answered. “Hello?”

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

You closed your eyes and brought a hand to rub your head. “Well I’m doing fine, thank you, how are you?”

“Don’t give me that attitude. What the fuck are you doing? You’ve been ignoring our calls.”

You stood up to pace the floor slightly, dreading the conversation that was coming. Is it the ‘family is most important’ or the ‘where’s my money?’ speech today? “I’ve been working.”

“What, so work is more important than family now? Is that what this is? You don’t care about us?”

Family speech it is.

“Dad -”

“What if one of us was dying? Huh? Would that be important?”

“Stop it. No one is dying, and I was working. And I have more work to do, so I really have to go.”

“You don’t get to tell me what to do, I’m your father.”

Gaining confidence you gritted your teeth and snapped, “You know what? I’m an adult now so you can’t tell me what to do.”

There was silence on the other end of the line and you could practically hear the steam coming out of your father’s ears.

At some point Bucky had come down to your working space to check on you, seeing as it was nearly morning. He stopped in the doorway, and seeing you were busy on the phone he thought he would stop by later to give you some privacy. But he stopped when he heard you snap.

You never snap.

“Who do you think you’re talking to you ungrateful little bitch?”

“I’m talking to the people who treated me like shit my entire life and ask me for money when you wouldn’t give me the time of day for 18 fucking years.”

Even you couldn’t believe the words coming out of your mouth. But god did it feel good to say them.

“Are you fucking serious right now? We did nothing for you? What do you think we’ve been doing your whole life? We’ve done everything we did to help you be the best person you could be. You have that job now because of us and you have no right to speak to me that way.”

You chuckled darkly as you looked up at the ceiling, unaware of Bucky’s presence behind you. “My entire life all I’ve ever wanted to do was make you guys proud of me. But you know what? I’m fucking done. You hated me, gaslighted me, and made me hate myself almost as much if not more than you seemed to hate me.”

“I did no such thing you ungrateful -”

“You were supposed to love me and care for me, and all you did was take advantage of me. I’m not your child, I’m a paycheck. I don’t owe you anything because you gave me nothing. So you know what? FUCK. YOU.”

You hung up the phone and tossed it across the room, adrenaline taking over your body as you tried to stop shaking. Because a small part of you felt bad.

But fuck did that feel amazing.

You heard a throat clear behind you and you turned around to see Bucky, eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“You okay?”

You nodded nervously, rubbing the sides of your arms. “Yeah, I’m fine,” you said, unconvincingly. “How much, uh...how much did you -

“Enough,” he said, pushing himself off of the door frame as he crossed over to you. “Who was that?”

“Bucky, don’t, it’s really fine. I just got a little worked up.”

“Y/n,” he started, looking at you with concern. “Who were you talking to?”

“No one.”

“You don’t get upset like that at no one,” he took your hands in his. “Y/n, you're shaking.”

It was then that you realized your hands were still shaking, trying to keep the anxiety of what happened at bay.

It’s going to be so much worse now.

I can never talk to them again.

Is that a good thing? Didn’t I want that?

Bucky could sense you getting lost in your head. “Sweetheart, tell me what happened, please. I want to help you.”

You pulled your hands away from his and crossed your arms. “You can’t help me because there’s nothing wrong, okay? I handled it, it’s over. Done. nothing to worry about.”

“Y/n -”

“No really, there’s nothing you can do, okay?”

“Will you at least let me try?”

You looked at him, adrenaline starting to drain from your system. This was Bucky, your Bucky, who had never done anything but love and support you. He had never done anything to hurt you.

But what if he left you too?

You took in a sharp breath and curled in on yourself, a scared look on your face. Bucky crossed back over to you, seeing a scared look on your face.

“Hey, hey, y/n? Can you look at me?”

You brought your eyes up to meet his, feeling your chest constricting as you tried to keep your breathing even. It wasn’t working.

“I - I’m sorry, you shouldn’t… I’m fine really I’m sorry, I’m so sorry”

“Hey, it’s alright, it’s okay, you have nothing to apologize for,” he pulled you in for a hug and kissed the top of your head. “Let’s go sit down, okay?’

He led you over to your bed and you leaned forward, hands on your knees and head in your hands. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s happening, this - I’m sorry, it’s so stupid, I’m so stupid.”

Bucky rubbed a hand up and down your back, hushing you. “It’s not stupid. If it’s bothering you, it’s not stupid.” Bucky took a small breath. “Do you remember all of those times after nightmares and all those panic attacks you would walk me through? How I thought I was being stupid?”

“You weren’t being stupid”

“And neither are you.”

You took some more shaky breaths as tears kept falling down your face. “You’re okay. It’s alright, I’m right here.”

Bucky let you calm down, knowing you would talk about it if you wanted to. He wanted you to talk about it so he could help you (and hurt whoever upset you) but he wouldn’t force you into telling him anything you didn’t want to.

The two of you sat in the silence, Bucky looking at you with soft eyes as you kept your face hidden.

“I haven’t told you a goddamn thing about me. You ever wonder why?”

You looked over at Bucky, eyebrows creased with slight confusion.

“They said blood was supposed to be thicker than water. That family comes first, right? I spent my whole life listening to them and following them and being the perfect kid. I made myself into everything they wanted me to be. And it still wasn’t enough for them.”

Bucky tilted his head slightly. He hadn’t known his parents much before they died but he had always wanted to have more time. But he wasn’t oblivious to the fact that not everyone had good parents.

“You know, I remember thinking that once I made it they would be happy. That if I worked hard enough or went onto do great things that they would be proud of me. That’s all I ever wanted, you know?” you said, voice wavering as you let out a bitter laugh. “But it’s not, you know? Never is, never was, never will be. All they do is take and take and no matter how good I am they’re always gonna hate me because I can’t be perfect.”

“No one’s perfect, y/n.”

“Well that’s what they want me to be. I know I can’t be perfect so I know they’ll never be happy. That they’ll call me ungrateful and selfish for succeeding and for leaving them when they never wanted me to be there to begin with.” You felt tears spill over as you wiped them away. “And I’m ust so fucking done with being a disappointment to them and to everyone else.”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“I don’t know,” you said softly, not really wanting to be more vulnerable.

Bucky, sensing this was a time he could push you, challenged you. “I think you do.”

You shook your head. “I didn’t want anyone to see me the way they did. I thought what they said wasn’t true but...I just thought that maybe I was overreacting. Other people have it worse you know - some people have no parents or some have it so much worse. Mine just yell at me you know? Tell me everything’s my fault and that they wish they’d never had me. That I’m ungrateful for not being with them and that I owe them. I just...I heard that for the first 18 years of my life. I didn’t need any more of it.”

“y/n, that’s…” he swallowed, trying to contain his anger. “That’s not normal. No one should have to go through that. You can’t possibly think you're a bad person.”

Your shrug was enough to tell him that you did.

“Y/n, I don’t know who your parents think they are but you don’t owe them a damn thing. You may be related to them but you have no obligation to love your parents if they treat you like that. You have every right to be angry or to hate them. It doesn’t make you a bad person to be angry with someone who hurt you.”

“But they’re my family.”

“Well they didn’t treat you like it. You have us now, you don’t need them anymore. We’re your family. And we’re not gonna leave you.”

“They didn’t leave me Bucky, I left them.”

“You can’t leave someone who was never there for you.”

----------

Taglist: @buckys2thicc @babydaddy-buckybarnes @buckys-blue-eyes @peggycarter-steverogers @broadwaybabe18 @buckfics @thatfangirl42 @abitgryffindorky @barnesplums @mardema @freigeistundanderes @bucks-bunny @im-sick-of-failing @strawberrimae @sup--ernova

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[matrose]

Hello! I hope you're having a lovely day. I really enjoy all the gorgeous art you create especially for lotr. You have some wonderful visions of those characters and your art style is filled with so much warmth. -- Do you have any thoughts on dwarves as archaeologists, particularly in the fourth age? I’m picturing the return to Khazad-dûm triggering a wave of new found passion for archaeology as they uncover long forgotten heirlooms, artwork and signs of the lives of their people. 1/2

The first grand construction in Khazad-dûm is a museum and there are debates about whether some ruins should be preserved as they are or restored. Eventually their interests expand beyond dwarven archaeology and expeditions begin starting in Eregion and then expanding into Arnor, Eriador and beyond. 2/2

Hi!!!!!!! Hello!!!!! thank you so so much for your kind words and your wonderful thoughts!!! ill be honest — the first thought i had about archaeology in middle-earth involved underwater archaeology. the sunken cultures of beleriand and numenor are just begging for that! sadly this does not go well with the general opinion most dwarves seem to have on water, though im sure a few very dedicated fourth age dwarven archaeologists would not let themselves be stopped by that!

eregion is so great for archaeology too im sure — in general there are so many ruins in all of middle earth, i can imagine there is atleast one dwarf whos passion is recreating all those grand buildings into mini models for a private collection or even an exhibition… legolas says the elves of eregion left not many traces but the stones sing of them still, and who better to examine those stones and listen to their stories than a dwarf !!!!

and i loooove the idea of dwarven museums. they already have so much appreciation and admiration for the past and their ancestors (which they are so often out of touch with due to the almost constant displacement they seem to keep experiencing), it would make so much sense for them to get to establish a museum in peaceful days ❤️ a bit of inspiration perhaps taken by the hobbits who do have museums but generally regard them as useless if i remember correctly (😭)… and speaking of hobbits and your idea of the dwarves expending their archaeology into different regions, i could see them excavating the village smeagol came from — they seemed to have had a very waterbased lifestyle

and i could picture them maybe living in stilt houses/pile dwellings (pictured here are reconstructions of stilt houses from the bronzeage, in the bodensee, germany) which they dwarves could unearth and then perhaps ALSO reconstruct as a fun project. sorry to the poor dwarves, its so waterbased again!!

also! helms deep and the glittering caves have a particularly rich history with the rohirrim! im not sure if gimli himself would be an archaeologist (he definitely has the passion for the past, but maybe he would be too busy 😔) but dwarves of aglarond could definitely work with the rohirrim to uncover more tracks of their ancestors. who knows what other caves lie in the mountains, where humans may have lived once!: ancient burial sites, part time dwellings, hiding places during conflicts, etc. though this would have to have been a long long time before , since the rohirrim have a long line of barrow-burials. but im sure theres lots to be found in the caves!!!

speaking of BARROWS ! those barrows in arnor maybe be haunted but listen. there are things to uncover and learn about the past. maybe they barrow-wights wont be as mad if they just dont commit grave-robbery and they can catalogue the findings and illustrate them… maybe…?🥺 it would certainly make great business for bree to have all these archaeologist dwarves come through trying to keep literal ghosts at bay long enough to properly sketch a funnelbeaker. ❤️ theres sooo many possibilities here !! thank you for sending these asks and i love u and feel free to dm me anytime ❤️❤️❤️ i hope you have a wonderful day as well!

[ally-127]

my request... joshua angst where there's an argument on ur anniversary n you can decide whether to make it a happy or sad ending!! thx ally :-)

lisianthus

pairing: husband!joshua x reader word count: 1.6k warnings: reference to sex, slightly suggestive material music: ‘lose’ by niki a/n: okay like this is more fluff than angst,, im sorry- my mind literally blanked out when i was trying to think of what they could argue about. but enjoy this romantic af, poetic(?) piece that i also enjoyed writing ngl. thanks for requesting @chocosvt , i hope u liked it...luv u the most <3

“come on kiddos, it’s time for bed!”

you ushered your seven and three-year-old into their shared bedroom, your lips stretched wide into a grin at their playful giggles.

“goodnight, mum,” your daughter, seven, hummed as you tucked her into bed while your younger son climbed clumsily into his beside.

you dropped a kiss on her forehead and turned to your cheeky son, who still had that smile of his. you give him a huge smooch on the cheek. “goodnight, you.”

with both children wrapped up in their sheets comfortably, you flicked off the light switch and closed the door quietly behind you.

a sigh couldn’t help but escape your lips as you shuffled your way back into your room to finish up some work, but before you did, a certain glow caught your attention.

the kitchen was dark all around when you entered, lit scented candles dotted around the table and the only light source in the room.

the flames danced in the breezy air of your apartment, lighting up not only the bouquet of lisianthus on the table but your husband, joshua, who sat on one of the chairs, staring wistfully at the flowers. a glass of wine sat solitarily in front of him, the stain on the rim a sign that he had already started to drink without you.

the beat of your heart was now apparent as ounces of dread slowly settled into the pit of your stomach.

you forgot.

“are we not important anymore?” he began, taking the glass in between his fingers.

“what do you mean?” you remained standing, feeling as if the soles of your feet had been embedded into the hardwood of the floor.

“did it completely slip your mind, or am i now the least of your concerns?” continuous rhetorical questions, or rather, questions of accusations, escaped his beautiful mouth.

you could kiss it a thousand times and still, your need for them to be on your skin would never be satiated.

“jihyun and—“

“do not bring our kids into this,” joshua was painfully serene, like the calm before the storm; the storm in which you could see in the depths of his eyes. “you forgot we’ve been married for ten years.”

you cursed under your breath.

how did you forget?

bringing the subject of work into the argument was pointless now, it only seemed like an excuse.

“josh—“

“i was waiting all day,” he finally shifted his almond-shaped eyes to you. “for you to run into my arms, to kiss me, hell, even to just smile at me. but no, you didn’t even look at me once.”

joshua, on a break from being a performer, occupied himself with taking care of the children and the apartment. he had plenty of time on his hands, his heart full with a sincere wish to spend it with the people he loved most in the whole universe.

you, a full-time working mother, had recently just been promoted in your company. with new responsibility came heavy workload and a brand new project dumped into your control. it was overwhelming, and it blinded a tremendous amount of aspects in your life, including your husband himself.

you realised you didn’t even meet joshua’s eyes as he got them ready for school this morning, while he adjusted their jackets and shouldered their little backpacks to carry it for them, knowing fully what date it was.

you simply kissed your daughter and son goodbye before you took half a litre of coffee with you out the door without uttering a single word of goodbye to your lover.

now, as you stared at him from where you stood, you could feel the effects of neglecting him for the longest time hurling back to you like a tidal wave.

there was no trace of a smile, of the crinkle of his eyes, of the lines that would form at the ends of his eyes that deepened over time and with age.

the expression that stared back at you was foreign, stoic.

there‘s a saying: you don’t know what you have until it’s gone.

you knew it wasn’t gone, but the absence of his smile made your heart sink into the bottomless pit of your regret. it was a horrifying feeling.

suddenly, you wanted to do all the things he said you didn’t, smile at him, run into his arms, kiss him.

“i’m sorry,” you almost lost the capability of speaking, your voice small as you gathered enough courage to take more steps towards him. “i really am. i’m such a fool.”

he stood up, his height casting a dim shadow over you. the plastic of the wrapper crunched in his hands when he extended his arm, offering the bouquet of your favourite flowers in your favourite colour to you. joshua could never forget that.

you took them with shaky hands, eyes looking everywhere but into the abyss of his caramel eyes.

“you are not a fool, my love,” he engulfed you in his strong arms, a familiar place, a place you missed often and could call home. a place you almost forgot was your home. “you are my wife,” he kissed away the single tear of remorse that escaped the duct in the corner of your eyes. “my beautiful, strong wife.”

your head on his chest, your fingers fisted in the material of his shirt, you held on to each other for what seemed like the first time in a long time. his woody scent had the effect of waves crashing against the beach and echoes of seagulls in the distance—it calmed you immensely.

everything about joshua calmed you.

it felt like you could remain in his arms forevermore, until the morning sun rose and the lisianthus wilted in the grip of your hands.

“i love you,” you told him, quietly, setting the bouquet aside to sink into his touch.

these were the words he wanted and needed to hear the most, to reassure himself that you did still love him the way he loved you, to make sure that work had not completely overtaken your senses.

“i love you too.”

fingers rubbing your back in soothing strokes, joshua kissed your temple, then the tip of your nose. to reach your lips he had to angle his head in the slightest, long eyelashes fluttering as he reached his destination.

a hum of satisfaction escaped your lips, conjoined with his, knowing fully that you didn’t deserve it yet you savoured every minute. your arms were secure around his neck, not a millimetre of space to be seen between your torso and his.

as joshua pulled away to gasp for air, he reached into his pocket for his phone, tapping away at the screen. half a second later, music began to play from the speakers he had installed on the corners of the ceiling.

your husband enjoyed music, thrived in it. it was his natural element, his escape from everything and life itself.

“dance with me, darling,” he whispered as louis armstrong blew the first few notes of his trumpet, a light melody that entranced your step into aligning with your lover’s, barefoot in the kitchen, head on his shoulder.

“remember in college,” you pondered, reminiscing the iridescent days of your youth. “when we would dance around the communal kitchen in the refrigerator light?”

“when i snuck out of the dorms to visit you half-past two in the morning?” the smile on his face reminded you of how much you truly longed for it, like a breath of fresh air after being suffocated for so long.

he grinned at you like you were back in the heart of a bustling city, of seoul, the thrill of the unexpected running through your veins like a drug. you found an impossible love, forcing the rebellion, suppressed deep enough in yourself until you forgot about it, to resurface again as you met him.

you had never felt as daring as you did when you first saw him.

“we lost so much sleep,” the airy sound of your chuckle urged joshua to tug you closer, dancer feet still in time with the rhythm of jazz buzzing in the background.

“first college, then jihyun,” the way in which your daughter’s name left his lips made the knot in your heart twist, your entire being captivated by his voice.

he twirled you around, stars—no, the entire galaxy—sparkling in those brown eyes as you spun to meet him once more.

“and jiyoung,” the sound of your youngest son’s name elicited a permanent smile from your husband, perfect teeth peeking through.

“i don’t regret a single second of it,” he said, mellifluous in tone, filled with content.

“i don’t either,” sometimes, the possibility of being in love for so long was a question to you that you could not answer.

magic doesn’t exist, but it did then, in that night, surrounded by wicks, aglow in passion, organic scent of lemongrass wafting in the air.

jazz-driven steps, hungry gazes and the brush of his fingers under your sweater made you wonder if you were back in the era of your faded youth. it was as if you were reliving each night of delirium once again, of heated sex in the darkness of your compact bedroom, of muted grunts and the slapping of skin that reverberated off the chipped walls.

joshua lifted the sweater up your head, up your arms. the music, transitioning ever so timely from armstrong to the weeknd, your eyes widening and your hips swaying ever so slightly to the bass. his grin twisted into a smirk, eyes narrowing in desire and the previous storm behind them calming into a wave of dirty intentions.

“take the week off for me, love,” kisses were peppered down your neck to your collarbone as he whispered each word into your skin.

you promised him you would, and you did.

[vaguely-concerned]

X-men Evolution; the great 2021 rewatch liveblog

exactly what it says on the tin, about halfway through the show I had TOO MANY FEELINGS and had to start writing some of them out haha (gets quite gambit & rogue/gambit heavy in the latter half, Because of Who I Am as a Person)

- this is my childhood’s x-men, my formative experience with them, and I’m happy to report that still seems like a good thing. the little eleven year old within me gets to geek out and have a good time with the characters and the surprisingly good animation and writing, adult me gets to CACKLE at regular intervals at the fashion/technology/absolute bonkers hot garbage comic book nonsense they use to justify a storyline every now and then, it’s been a good time 

- I was like ‘ah well it is super dated it probably won’t be quite the same now’ and then rogue’s HAIR did the THING in the opening and ‘it’s all coming back to me now’ started playing in the background... the little baby queer in me swooning across time and space

- such a good beast, both his design and the writing, my heart aches for him all the time. he’s just so passionate! about being a teacher! helping young humans learn the stuff they’ll need in life! the most wonderful nerd man, just let good things happen for him

- I’m going to go ahead and assume that rogue’s ‘crush’ on scott is more of a deeply complex psychological process about desiring normalcy and intimacy and trying to figure out if she’s queer and dealing with her emerging sexuality and latching on to the first and best safely unavailable and nonthreatening older boy to project these issues onto rather than actually being a real thing, because I respect her so much as a person and I cannot bring myself to imagine she’s honestly attracted to a man who has POSTERS OF CARS on his bedroom wall. (I’ll give jean a break just because she seems to have a longer deeper history with him that might counteract some of that libido-kill, and also she’s a jock so lol)

like I am very sorry but can u imagine being a teenage girl with any interest in a boy with model cars in his bedroom when gambit’s swanning around being a much, much, much worse choice on almost every possible level but in a teen girl kryptonite kind of way? inconceivable  

(I drag scott quite a few times in this and it’s not because I don’t love him, it’s just his tragedy to be the most draggable man in the world)

to be fair by the time gambit shows up that whole Situation has mostly played itself out I suppose but still  

- toad’s design is so ineffably brilliant, I can’t quite tell you why but that ugly cute charm has really stuck with me, he’s one of the characters I remembered the best to this day just visually

- poor evan... he truly never had a chance, did he, they just saddled him with the most 90s teen bullshit they could come up with like he’s some kind of ‘what adult writers think teens like’ frankenstein’s monster ;______; it’s not your fault honey

- poor poor POOR storm, she gets one focus episode and they were like ‘we’re going to make an episode so racist -- ‘

I’m still STUNNED at how bad it was, but undeniably I laughed hysterically to the point that my neighbours were probably worried when that dude was earnestly like ‘He [stunningly breathlessly racist caricature of a ‘witch doctor’ guy] has stolen her powers, and he’s going to use them to take over Africa!!!’ fhajsdlfhsakjldfh oh really? tell me more, like how the fUCK this could be on television within my life time fasdlfhsdkjfhsad f  just... fahjksdfh

- it’s a testament to gambit’s appeal as a character that his charm can survive what they’ve done with his hair and beard choices in this one fajskfhs regrettable but true I still fuckn LOVE him and in my highly biased yet Correct opinion he should have been around much more. get you a man who manages to stay hot through sheer Vibes even with a bowl cut

- aw scott/jean is kind of sweet in this show even if it’s taking them forEVER to get there, I like it 

- it’s very nice of rogue to not mention magneto’s romantic daydreams and nostalgic memories about charles xavier after touching his face that one time... or maybe her brain did her a service and repressed it, there’s some stuff you shouldn’t have to know about your father figure   

- the danger room is the very definition of ‘why do we even have that lever’ and I wonder what the fuck prof x does to have enough money to replace everything that gets busted all the time

- I’d say that a lot of the writing holds up surprisingly well! (but some of it is also incredibly inexcusably racist in ways that beggar belief, so... not full marks here) the characters have distinct voices and their arcs are set up and delivered on solidly for the most part, and there’s a lot of love showing through in small moments that are just there to have a funny/interesting thing to say about the characters and how their powers work separately and in combination. listen, sometimes I get so thirsty for like. basic goddamn competency in storytelling, let me have this

- ugggggh why is there captain america in my x-men have I not suffered enough... very very funny when prof x goes ‘sounds like you knew rogers personally’ and logan is like ‘I did ;)’ *all the students ganging up on steve rogers* “did you fuck our teacher, captain america?!”

- fskadfhas WHY are you showing me hot young-ified magneto’s ass fksjahfskj charles is not even here to see it, what a tragic waste erik 

- ...I was sort of kidding before but uh I think logan genuinely did fuck captain america (or at least wishes very much that he did lol)

- wanda can have a little watching the world burn. as a treat for the way every single adult in her life has fucking failed her (’aren’t they treating you well here’ professor x she’s in a straightjacket)  

- poor rogue tho can you imagine finding out after your biggest crush on a girl yet that she’s your fucking MOM in disguise... I would break out in cold sweat every time I thought about a boob forever after

- well seems like they really just had all that homoerotic rivalry stuff between quicksilver and spyke in their first ep only to never do anything with that again ever?? I mean even without the gay undertone that seems like a dynamic you spent most of an episode setting up writers what the hell haha

- dslhfkasjlh GAMBIT THERE HE IS MY BOY IS ON THE SCENE THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!! I don’t even care about his awful hair situation or the fact that his eyes are wrong here (coloured contact lenses, maybe, for a watsonian explanation? though he’d probably have to get them made special, considering he needs the sclera and the iris covered up in different ways, I’ve seen some comic panels indicating he has been known to?)

(cute little detail: when he shuffles the cards the first time we see him he ends with removing the top card to show the ace of hearts beneath <3 foreshadowing baBEY he’s a... good-ish boy deep down. hey he tries okay shit gets complicated sometimes lol) 

- cracking UP at gambit perched cheerily on the edge of a crate dispensing cards in the middle of the battle... he’s like ‘eh it’s a livin’ sfsajkhf remy stop working for supervillains just because you had nothing to do on a thursday afternoon and they said they’d pay you

- I’m guessing magneto must have imposed a strict order of silence on these guys or something because I cannot imagine any other reason for him to shut up, especially once he notices rogue is a QTE (or, far more likely, they hadn’t settled on any voice actors for the new characters until next season haha. it is kind of odd that they’re all keeping up near monastic silence, though, even sabertooth lol) 

- WHAT an epic first meeting for us rogue/gambit fans here... first his shadow like there’s fireworks going off behind him lighting him up and then he gives her the fuckn king of hearts and she’s so enchanted by his dumb handsome face she doesn’t even notice it’s about to blow up in her hands and it all happens in heavily meaningful silence afjsdfjashjk no wonder this ship ingrained itself in my hindbrain  

yeah look smug while you can remy she’s gonna have you on your knees one day and you’ll be happy about it lol

- god storm is so COOL, everything just fading out of focus when she really gets going... give her more screen time, show!!

- mystique is every person... this person... that person... that bird... that cat... that wolf... I’m not even sure she’s not also me... are you sure she’s not you? 

- holy fuck I respect the hell out of the decision to just... blow up the entire status quo in a season ender, I only vaguely remembered that (actually in general I appreciate how good the continuity is -- buildings and places that get damaged in battles need to be repaired or rebuilt, it makes the consequences feel more real even when no one gets seriously hurt. where they get the money to restore scott’s car and logan’s motorbikes every time they go cablooie is still an open question tho lol is it credit card fraud, professor? is it telepathically acquired blackmail???) 

- I first watched this when I was nine or so, so it’s a real experience to go from my starry eyed intrigued ‘oh my god... they’re teenagers’ to my horrified adult perspective of ‘oh my god... they’re TEENAGERS D:’

that goes double for the brotherhood boys honestly, I’m here with tears in my eyes like ‘I’m sorry the system has failed you so badly you’re all just a bunch of dumb kids whose caretakers clearly fucked up spectacularly’  

like lance is always waiting for mystique to come back because she’s the closest thing he has to a safe parental figure, may we speak about how crushingly depressing that is 

- rogue is so ready to throw hands at literally any moment and for that I love and treasure her immensely (I think getting to see her be so surly and unreasonable and sometimes difficult and jealous, like any teenager, meant a lot to me as a kid who was not really allowed to be any of these things, this version of the character has stayed with me so deeply. she holds on so fiercely to her right to feel what she feels and be what she is even when it’s ‘ugly’ or unreasonable, which I think plays in really interestingly with how her powers involve getting invaded by other people’s thoughts and memories to the point of overwhelming her own sense of self and the fact that she clearly has a lot of self-loathing and self-consciousness and confusion about her identity as well. I love her so much)  

- oooof this is the ‘the gang experience a microaggression’ episode huh (well more like macroagressions really)

hits a bit different with adult eyes and perspective huh

- hearing jean sound almost like a child when she says ‘that’s so unfair!’ somehow has me like ;______; -- she has to be so adult and responsible all the time, and having her be reduced to the kid she still is and should get to be in front of this awful awful man she could squash like a bug with the flick of a thought... ugh I’m Big Sad (it is funny that jean seemingly plays Every Sport tho djfhaskj)

- MY BOY IS BACK!!! this time with the duster coat and his eyes the right colour, im so happy (too bad about the subdued colour scheme tho; I adore his dumb bright pink getup with my whole heart)

it’s kind of adorable that he takes the time to take the bullies aside and go ‘I know these guys can’t wreck you without getting expelled, but I think you’ll find no law set down by god or man would stop me from doing so whenever I wanted to. so piss off and leave them alone’ lol he’s looking out for them, in his own way

- in this episode: remy lebeau wrangles some kids while looking bored yet mildly amused the whole time. what the fuck does magneto have on you for you to agree to this level of babysitting duty buddy

- fun detail I noticed b/c when I get a fave I hyperfixate: he gave rogue the king of hearts before, but he ‘introduces’ himself to the brotherhood here (lol) with the jack of hearts, probably to symbolize he’s here as someone who works for magneto in this setting and not as his own man? it’s a demotion he’s given himself there, anyway, might be he’s not very pleased about his current position huh 

- I like it when rogue and kitty team up, they’re not very effective together but their squabbling is so cute and non-aggressive 

- pietro is what draco malfoy would be if I ever found malfoy interesting to watch for even one moment, every time quicksilver talks I’m like ‘what wonderfully insufferable thing is going to come out of your mouth this time you little shit :’)’

- a) why are scott and logan shirtless for this scene? I am not complaining on the logan side of things at least but why and b) I laughed so hard I almost fell off my couch when scott asked logan if he’d ever been in love and he was like ‘once. she was the most beautiful bike I ever saw’ falsdfhaskjfhsakjlfhasklhjfd THE BEST VERSION OF WOLVERINE EVER, ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES 

- mystique’s sheer dedication to being a petty bitch is kind of inspirational tbh, almost makes me want to go on a completely bonkers and extra crusade of personal revenge myself  

- oooh they’re doing some genuinely cool things with vision/lack of vision in this one (it’s the scott left on his own in the desert without glasses one btw) even visually, dang! I’m so sad this show didn’t get more seasons than it did, honestly, it deserved it

- hell yeah jean wreck her, go get your man with the suspiciously specific clothing damage normally done to female characters 

awww :’) okay yeah they’re super sweet, I love the tiny loving animation details like how he leans his head against her and her stroking his hair away from his eyes

- nooo don’t bully evan leave my t0tally r4dical sk8er boy alone :(

- I love the running joke of people fleeing in blind panic only to reveal that what they’re running from is kitty’s cheerful well meaning little face fskfaskh 

- scott and jean are already peak married after officially being together for one episode and it’s adorable, and they just stone cold threw logan under the bus, rip wolverine we hardly knew ya

fjasdlfasldfhslajdkfhsadkjlfhsdkjalfhsdakfh h jean establishing herself as the alphabitch of this relationship by throwing her man to the wolves right after dsjfhaskjfhaskjhfsakjdhfaskjhfaskdhfskjahfskdajhf get smarter or get volunteered scott 

- ...eyepatch lady is so hot ngl

oh evan went to the place hank used to go to calm down ;________; (honestly he’s kind of won a place in my heart just by being a pretty normal teenage boy haha)

- jesus fucking CHRIST can you imagine being storm having to look her sister in the eye as she tells her ‘I lost your only child, he’s *vague gesture* somewhere in the sewers we think’ this poor woman

- amanda the self admitted monster fucker you are so VALID (I love her and her family’s design so much tho!)

- it’s so cool that even in his human ‘disguise’ kurt’s fingers follow the shape of his actual hand beneath it rather than moving like a five fingered hand, it’s such a lovingly consistent little detail 

- magneto and mystique in a breathless race to see who can be the shittiest parent... tune in next week for yet another parental nadir (also some low-poly gambit appearances in this one, for those at home keeping score (me), he’s in the background looking like someone drew him with their eyes closed fakjldfhasd look how they massacred my boy)

- someone please teach the brotherhood boys about consent huh

- jean ‘soccer mom before her time’ grey and her SUV dfhakjlhds :’)

- im sobbing rogue baby girl i’m so sorryyyyyy, this voice actress is so good, my parental instincts suddenly kicked into overdrive hearing the crack in her voice :( (bb me was right tho rogue centric episodes ARE the best episodes. that tension between ‘do I identify witn this character or am I crushing on her?? both???’ now has the fun new addition of ‘oh god oh no you are a baby I want to shield you with my body from everything trying to hurt you’)

- mystique is like ‘so you see despite you telling me you never wanted to see me again I completely disrespected that and posed as a friend your age, manipulated you by offering you the mirage of direly needed emotional intimacy and belonging and added some sprinkles of homoerotic tension to it just to massively worsen your already existing grievous psychosexual trauma and identity issues... out of love’

god go jump in a black hole you fucking monster 

- there’s some very interesting and quite subtle subtext about the people she’s morphing into and what that says about her mental state/how it shows off some of her emotional baggage with the rest of the team. it’s like she’s switching between people/powers that fit the purpose as if she’s going through cycles of fight/flight (and then bursts of freeze where she’s herself, which is... so sad)

- this whole episode is hurting my heart but rogue at full power is undeniably epic  

 - ‘professor x get your goddamn act together and get this poor girl some fucking tHERAPY’ challenge

- SAFE PAPA LOGAN ;_____;

- EYYYYYY opening straight on My Lad, I cannot stop winning!!!!! 

fasdfhsad disintegrating the window with a smiley face... remy I do love you more than my heart can bear honestly, hello may we speak about the fact that his urge to be a little shit is so deep and strong it survives mind control (that little breathed out ‘hiah!’ as he vaults the fence too dsakfjsd)

hahaha and he does up the coat fhsalfdsaj 

- magneto dismissing other telepaths like ‘puh-lease, your Meaningful Looks have got nothing on my ex-husband’s’ 

- :’) rogue and kurt sibling timeees

- say what you want but this pyro guy’s got job satisfaction in being a creepy arsonist with a weird recurring horse theme (well at least twice but still weird)

- I love how beast is the kindest man to ever walk the earth but also straight up savage, this man drags people so hard their ancestors wince in their graves

- gambit taking the time to complete the guard’s game of solitaire -- this episode is giving me everything I want. u little disgrace mr lebeau

and THEN he takes the spider out in the most hilariously bonkers way my heart is so FULL

(I love that when magneto moves by he looks startled and has to quickly move his head out of the way to avoid getting kicked in the temple too that’s a fun detail)

I’m so INTO how this sequence shows off that his greatest strength isn’t even his powers (which are pretty straightforward, really, he makes go boom, longer time and bigger thing bigger boom) but that he’s clever and creative and always extremely ready to be the most harebrained-bananapants-extra-in-a-deceptively-laidback-sort-of-way person in the room (I actually have some genuinely Deep Thoughts about how his whole character does a really interesting thing with having the straightforwardly destructive nature of his powers yield to what his nature as a person is, and how using the playing cards play (heh) into it, maybe I’ll write it out some day. just the fact that he could use anything, but he deliberately chose something that adds style and playfulness and corny charm to it and that also limits the damage of the explosions compared to if he habitually used something with more mass... I find it fascinating how much he’s made a story around himself with it and how deeply it shows he does have a good heart, at the end of the day, in almost a metatextual way. he doesn’t want to destroy things or people, he’s at worst (and best lol) a thief.)

- I honestly have literally no memory of white nick fury (which seems so weird now isn’t it funny) in this series from when I was a kid, he clearly did not make an impression on me lol

- mr wolverine ‘assigned canadian at birth’ x-men 

- oh man I dig the androgynity of x-23′s outfit (even tho they had to compensate with the long hair, which... kind of doesn’t make sense in-universe but does on a design level because it’s a crucial thing that she’s a female clone of logan so yeah okay fine whatever have your arbitrary gender markers if you must haha)

ooooooh that’s actually really clever, they make her gender gradually more obvious as she unravels through the episode and her outfit changes -- first the mask coming off, and then her jacket opening to show her silhouette more clearly, that’s cool!  

- my god what really sets this show apart is how much it invests in little character and relationship moments, it’s just so fucking GOOD! it gives laura looking in on those moments such depth and weight because it’s new to her but established to us as an audience, this is how you make found family devastating people (storm growing bonsai trees is so charming too haha) 

- ooof this is honestly quite harrowing 

SHE’S SO SMALL COMPARED TO HIM I’M CRYING (at least that part of his genes translated over faslkfsjdh short king, I say this with all the love and support of a fellow short monarch)  

- tabitha seems to just be running around doing precisely whatever the fuck she wants and you know what I support her even if she is an asshole her father left her a bunch of trauma and no fucks left to give 

- still thrilled about professor x explaining the spider key fuckup to magneto after the fact like ‘magnus you dumb bitch this is why we split up’ 

- awww kitty has anime and movie posters on her wall and sleeps with a stuffed toy :’)

-          remy                           rogue

                              🤝

doing completely unnecessary parkour around the brotherhood living room seemingly just for the hell of it... I’m not saying soulmates but fucking soulmates 

- fhsadkjlfhsakjldfhsadjkfhsdajkfh just as gambit’s soul-level need to be a little shit survived his bout of mind control, rogue’s deep and urgent desire to kiss gambit full on the mouth survived hers I can’t breathe

she looks so pleased with herself too GOOD FOR YOU GIRL at least get something out of this other than more trauma 

also not only the fact that he’s smart enough to figure out what’s going on (though he’s only partially right about who’s behind it. I do so enjoy gambit/mystique deep and sincere antipathy as a constant across all universes tho lmao pure wlw/mlm hostility) but also that he keeps fending her off like he’s not trying to hurt her even though she’s in nigh on unstoppable and invulnerable terminator mode... awww 

- gambit having absolutely no patience for wolverine and sabertooth’s bullshit macho-off and consistently being this little biker trio’s one brain cell is adding years to my life with every passing moment

his voice is a little different in these scenes too, a bit softer and less like he’s trying to impress someone, it’s nice

- hank: well I barely recognize any of these (completely made up) ‘ancient egyptian hieroglyphs’ but from what I can make out -- *proceeds to infodump a perfect coherent narrative* fjdhfak  

listen this whole thing is such nonsense on so many levels, I’m just turning my brain off so I won’t have to think about it okay, the compulsion to put ancient aliens in egypt haunts us as a culture 

- I am CACKLING about gambit in the snow after having to listen to these two chucklefucks ooze testosterone at each other for hours

he started out taking it in good cheer and is now reduced to ‘dieu would both of you just jump off this fUCKING mountain please’

- ah. a little oops-a-daisy there, we seem to have unleashed the apocalypse. please stand by (they really don’t pull their punches with the season cliffhangers in this show haha)

- opening the season on gambit’s merrily grinning face is the easiest way to gain my favour. yes good this season may commence 

baby u r my

 ANGELLLLLLLL

(he’s so cute here tho haha I think it shows the design isn’t unsalvagable, just get him better hair and stubble more like logan has and you’ve basically got it) 

love his exasperated eyeroll when the dude gets spooked (by his eyes? or just the general weirdness?) too

he’s just trying to keep this crazy family of evil mutants together and unmurdered by one another until they’ve managed to avert the end of the world, bless him  

- oh NO rogue’s LIP wobbles my hhhhhheart ;____; such a good animation detail to put in

- like... I know kurt is just a sad scared teenager with a lot of shit going on and all the adults are too busy averting the end of the world to help him... but buddy maybe don’t ask your sister to wake her abuser (who forced her to kickstart the end of the world!!!!!) when she feels utterly unsafe even with her statue version around huh

- ...wanda is good and I want only good things for her. and for her dad to be disemboweled for what he did to her both the first time around and when he forced her to forget I mean what 

- magneto throwing an epic satelite-slinging tantrum b/c ‘no I am the biggest sexiest strongest mutant of the pack :(’... erik fucking get over yourself 

- yes boys absolutely go along with a plan suggested by a dude who looks at you like this 

nothing bad can come of this surely asdfkhsa

- lance’s quarter of a braincell always trying to go ‘hey wait, maybe... not do this???’ and it never helps lol

- in this episode: Logan Has A Bad Day 

...some very specific bondage positions he’s held in here, I am sure this episode awakened something in someone once upon a time lol 

- logan shielding x-23 with his body... im fine it’s okay I’m not crying don’t look at me

- afsdhlsdfjasdlk those sure are some ‘scottish’ accents flsadkjhkdsjahfsd

- scott relieved to finally be able to cede the position of ‘charles xavier’s least favourite son’ to someone else fjsaklfhsajd (poor scott it’s not your fault honey)

supremely cowardly to suggest there is an ex-wife involved rather than charles slutting his way around the british isles back in the day but okay

- kurt with a cold is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. it’s okay kid it’ll get better soon

- ...is there an implication here that professor x is naturally blond. because I am losing my entire little mind about it (i mean he at least has to carry the gene, as does this lady?)

ETA: upon doing some research into this I can indeed confirm that charles xavier does seem to be naturally blond, and after this knowledge I will never be the same 

- “listen, dracula” fskdafghasd oh scott you sweet baby angel I love you

- I know jean’s abilities are a bit ‘as strong or as weak as the plot needs right now’ at this point (so you can have the setup for what’s going to happen with them eventually and she’s basically invincible ;____;), and normally I’m cool with it but god I want her to just squash lucas like a little bug

- ewwwww please don’t ever say ‘daddy’ like that again

- ...what the fuck is even going on this episode’s a mess 

like okay the split personality thing could be something but the way it’s done... what just happened lol

- MY BOY EVAN IS BACK! with a real glowup too (...though kind of weird how he suddenly looks like a grown man)

- augh scott’s eyes are so pretty oh my god ;__________________________;

- that episode in the first season where evan makes the ‘this is my new family!!’ video is so sad now (also, again, his poor poor parents) 

- time for: life affirming road trip with gambit (involuntary) faskljdfhaskjd

stunt therapist remy lebeau 

- I mean the way he goes about it is batshit insane and it’s very much secondary to what he’s actually up to but this is the first time rogue’s sounded genuinely hopeful and confident and like herself in like a season <3 

- he is disconcertingly pleased about her nearly throwing him off the train, and may I just say I agree it’s so nice to see rogue with her old fire back 

- the first time I watched this it was of course dubbed into norwegian, so I had no idea either of these characters were southern lol (though to be fair I probably wouldn’t have had much context for what it meant exactly either, I was like ten at the time and not too interested in america) I seem to dimly remember the norwegian voice actor did a little more of a ‘french’-tinged accent for gambit all over tho haha  

- you know what respect where it’s due, pyro dude knows to live his life for the lols and one has to admire his sociopathic dedication to it

interesting that he, too, seems to have fucking hated magneto -- I wonder if the implication here is that he kept all the acolytes in line with blackmail or by keeping something/one hostage? (except sabertooth maybe he’d just have to say ‘you get to fuck shit up and fight wolverine’ and that’d be enough)

- fsdakfhsd he’s so focused on her he doesn’t notice that guy about to hit him fkafhsa 

- fuck everything else except whatever the hell these two’ve got going on

- it’s weirdly cathartic to have rogue have a conversation with someone who was not happily adopted as well, I don’t think kurt like. gets it because his parents loved him unconditionally and still do 

birds of a feather motherfucker  

- fun detail: when the x-men team are on the shore and logan is sniffing around scott is stepping in something and trying to wipe it off his boots in the background

- when he wakes up after passing out from the touch he’s smiling even though she’s standing over him looking like the rage of god outlined by the moon fsajfsa well the last time he passed out like that it was from a kiss, maybe he still has some hopes and dreams in that direction lol (also he recovers from the tumble down the hill first and is checking on her before accidentally brushing her cheek with his hand, which I thought was sweet) 

and it was in that moment he knew he fucked up *passes out*

- ‘I can explain’ can u remy. can u  

- did it ever even occur to you to just. ask her. to help you. I mean I know it didn’t but like rogue’s always one second away from throwing hands with some bully and is stupidly ride or die, if you’d given her the puppydog eyes she would have crumbled immediately (fair enough I guess this entire episode is telling us he’s not from a background where he has much experience with people just helping him without a price haha) 

- his eyes glowing when he’s angry or upset or using a lot of his power is undeniably cool as all hell. I’m just saying it would be Big Sexy if they sort of flickered with light in moments of genuine vulnerability okay  

- his coat... his coat is what makes the Silhouette tm and I could not be happier about it 

- another parent of the year contestant enters the running lol “hey remy have you ever considered that you’re more of a walking bomb factory than a person? that’s certainly how I think of you hahaha c’mon kid let’s go” 

- the running joke of jean luc getting dollar signs in his eyes seeing the other mutant powers and gambit being like ‘nO!!!!’ and pulling him along is amazing haha

- from the way he looks when he touches rogue accidentally and the way he talks to his dad I’m sort of getting the feeling this gambit might actually be a bit younger than he looks?

here too -- idk why but it’s making the ‘wait is he baby???’ alarms go off in my head haha. very early twenties at most. 

- and we’ve officially seen him with all the face cards in the heart suit folks! (yes this is the sort of thing my brain notices no I don’t know either)

- poor logan running his ass off this whole episode in a panic and then she’s like ‘nah he’s fine (in several meanings of the word ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) please put him down’ hfaskfsda

- rogue without makeup!!! her eyes look so naked like this haha <3

- oooh here’s a really interesting thing that tickles my brain a bit in this specific part of the scene where gambit frees his dad -- the part where he’s leaning against the door frame waiting for jean luc, who’s about to suggest using the opportunity to ruin the rival gang from the inside rather than slipping away while they still can

from his expression here he knows what’s about to happen, what jean luc is about to say, and it’s clearly a ‘man who thought he’d lost all hope loses last additional bit of hope he didn’t even know he still had’ sort of situation. he KNOWS what jean luc is like, and it still hurts that he really, honestly can’t give him even this, can’t appreciate that remy’s already done all this shit for him when he extremely didn’t have to, without immediately (no really, it took him less than ten seconds to go there? jesus) demanding more.  

remy tells him “I’m just here for you” and jean luc does not understand it. remy seems to be sincere in this motivation -- rogue certainly thinks so, having experienced it second hand and found enough at least emotional merit in it to decide he was worth saving even after all his bullshit (lol a bit of a running theme maybe. I think it’s very telling that after she absorbed mystique she was like ‘what the FUCK you’re a fucking monster’, and after she absorbed gambit she went ‘you did the wrong thing for the right reasons’ after she got over the first wave of outrage) 

there’s also what he says as he stands there: “You don’t need me for that”, with the distinct implication that jean luc would only keep him around because he has a use for him and for no other reason -- and then jean luc shamelessly doubles down on that by specifying that it’s not even him he’s got a use for as such, just his powers. that’s some kicking puppies level of deliberately missing the point, it’s almost impressive in how cheerfully mean it is haha

this idea of using people is really important in this episode because remy’s doing basically exactly the same thing to rogue to begin with; it doesn’t really matter to his plan that it’s her that’s with him through this, just what her powers are. (I think it’s  p r e t t y  solidly implied that he does actually like her a lot outside of that too and maybe there is some comfort in having her around for this, but mostly he’s behind a smokescreen of lies through the whole thing sooo I doubt he’s even aware of it, honestly)     

but then it does matter that it’s her when she comes back for him, even after what he did. and unlike jean luc he understands what that means, that she did that for him, and that she didn’t have to. and instead of asking her for more, in return he gives her the thing it’s been established is what he considers the most valuable thing he has; his ‘last card’, the thing he’s credited with keeping him alive many a time, basically. it’s gone from using to mutuality, a tentative place of friendship, and at the end of the day he is a different man than his adoptive father, with a capacity for selflessness and love he lacks. which is of course some of the same stuff going on with rogue and mystique too, except rogue acted from a more fragile and unstable place and did something she regrets, or at least has a LOT of doubts about now, and she found some catharsis in helping someone make a different choice in a similar situation. man there’s some Stuff going on under the surface here haha

(by the way it’s a weirdly... meaningless yet intensely meaningful thing, the gifting of a symbol? of an idea? but he’s putting something very crucial of himself into her hands, is the subtext, and he expects her to understand, which she also does seem to do. at the beginning of the episode he’s proving that he’s seen something true about her -- “You’re such an unhappy girl”, knowing where she comes from, the way she’s mourning her lost confidence and autonomy with her abilities -- and here she’s proving she’s seen something true about him. :’) I wish this show had gone on long enough for this dynamic to progress, it’s really interesting and touching)   

- gambit dragging himself up onto dry land seeing someone approaching (to help?!): :D

gambit seeing that it’s logan and the look on his face: D: 

- rogue using her powers so confidently and fearlessly in this episode tho!!!! 

- *me crying* and then her FAMBILY comes to take her home and he says he’s looking out for her too and kurt still loves her even though they’re having a conflict thing between them and she’s finally able to use her powers without so much fear again and --

- ...did I just watch some baby lesbian love at first sight shit right now???  

- okay last two episodes let’s go

- HELL YEAH STORM (I love that she’s like ‘don’t give me a dumb order like that and I won’t have to disobey it’ too sdfjsaj) her voice has such command I’m usually very much not the ‘step on me’ type butttt

- y’know I feel like apocalypse’s main fault across all versions I’ve seen of him is that he’s like an immortal superpowered god king and he’s not even sexy. like at least make him hot if he’s going to be insufferable in every other way 

- also callout post for apocalypse: one time he made gambit into the Horseman of Death... and didn’t even make him sexy!!! you were handed remy lebeau, supreme bi disaster slut of the x men universe, and you couldn’t even make his brainwashed superpowered evil side hot?? a beautiful stubbled twunk with glowing red eyes and extremely charming :> face practically delivers himself into your hands and you do that to him???? I mean I’m sure apocalypse did some other bad stuff too but that was the worst one

(comics are so dumb y’all) 

- having to watch jean cry is emotional terrorism!! ;___; she has such older sister/mom energy, whenever she gets sad and helpless it hurts 

- oh, OH so PROFESSOR X you’ll make into a hunk and ~*strategically*~ rip his clothes to show off a nipple and a flawless pec in a way that makes me extremely uncomfortable because he’s like The Dad??? apocalypse you are rotten to the core this is unforgivable 

- so wait wanda never actually gets her real memories back. what the FuCk I hope that was a dropped storyline because they ended the show tragically prematurely rather than like. the plan

- why is spyke calling storm ‘storm’ show that’s his auntie o!! >:(

- as a society we need to acknowledge that apocalypse looks like a fucking clown

- ooooh yeah I have been thinking that this show’s greatest visual weakness so far has been not having a visual way to show telepathy/battles of the minds, but this is a pretty cool way to do it! better late than never

- I’m so happy rogue gets to end this herself, since she was forced into starting it against her will, it’s just nice and neat storytelling

- YEAH FUCKING TELL HER KURT AND ROGUE I AM SO PROUD OF YOU and she has the temerity to look pissed off oh my god

the only valid thing mystique has done in her entire life is be in love with destiny. literally everything else she gets up to is a travesty. like I know objectively she’s hot but my loathing for her stops me from even appreciating it. I do enjoy loathing her tho so please don’t change her haha

(a bit odd to have kurt’s attitude to her swing so much but I’m just going to assume he and rogue had a good long conversation after ‘cajun spice’ and that he understands what’s going on better now)

- this last part is such a cruel tease faskdfhsdaj ‘here are all the cool-ass things we had planned. sucks you never get to see it huh’ im devastated 

- magneto without his helmet and playing charmingly with children like charles is going ‘well at least I saved my marriage finally’ fsadkhfjsd (honestly tho I would be super interested in seeing how they’d redeem this magneto because he’s been a real bitch the whole time lol) 

there’s an interesting thing here where magneto looks down at wanda as the last thing he does on screen before this epilogue part (yeah I hope it fucking haunts you forever what you did to her erik you absolute piece of hot garbage) and the last thing charles does is look at jean b/c he knows what’s going to happen to her and it breaks his heart... Dramatic Parallells  

- just the hint of jean as the phoenix has me in full D:D:D: mode tho maybe I wouldn’t have survived it

- gambit in the last groupshot with his arm around rogue ;^) I mean I’m sure they’re headed for some turns and roundabouts along the way but what’s that thing she says as her wedding vow, that she’ll always find her way back? anyway that got me in my heart

- man I really wish this show had been given more seasons, we were barely even getting warmed up here :’(

[aminiatureworld]

Hello! cookie anon here, dropping by again to say that I hope you're doing well ! The holidays are fast approaching and from where I live, literally ever street corner is decorated with christmas lights, parols, and decorative streamers - which is honestly so fun to see (altho I do question their electricity bills but hey, as long as its colorful i'm cool with it!)

how have you been with your deadlines? i hope that you're free from some of it! if not, i'm giving u energy and motivation to push through and finish ur tasks, I believe in you! but anws, remember to take care of yourself and remember that your wellbeing comes first and foremost.

moving on, remember when i told you that i've started a writing blog like months ago? it was under the name enchantingries - i deleted it a few days ago </3 mainly because i lost motivation for writing + i haven't even been able to play genshin for a while, which is a shame :(( i fortunately saved my writings somewhere so they at least won't go to waste.

but hey, at least i tried it! and it was fun for a while, so i wish i'll find the passion to write and come back again soon !!

i think that's all, i really should stop writing these messages @ 3 am in the morning ;-; anws, take care, bestie !!

- 🍪

Hello dear cookie anon!

I’m so glad to hear from you again! And I’m glad to hear you’re enjoying the Christmas decorations! I have to admit I’m a total sap for the holiday decorations and music and all that, so seeing the lights around here is also so fun, it makes so happy, a bit like I’m a kid again. Although I too question the electricity bill haha

And I’ve been alright! I got a big eam done and another project and the big paper I’m working on has a pretty good extension time. Though I also have a final and catch up homework and then stuff due at the beginning of next year, but let’s not think about that (because if we do I’ll cry haha). And thank you for believing in me! It definitely does five me the energy I need to push througha nd just get this done. I’ll be so happy when I can stop analyzing 17th century pamphlets T-T

And I’m sorry that you lost motivation for writing and playing! I have to admit I’ve not been playing as much recently too, though mainly because of work. I logged on to do more of the event (I’m going to have to speedrun it again) and I got such a wave of nostalgia. Though I do think that Genshin is a game that’s deceptively easy to get burnt out on, no matter how advanced in the game you are. It’s hard because the story is great but life, well, it keeps going. Still I’m glad you saved your writings! It’s never a waste to create something, no matter what, no  matter if you lose interest or if you look back and think you’ve improved. Writing, no matter what it is, is always a good thing. It helps you grow as a person after all! 

What matters is you try and enjoyed it! And I’m sure one day it will come back. It took me ages to write again after the first time I stopped (when I truly burnt out). I have requests on my main account that are from 2017! And it took to the pandemic to truly write again. But even if I took that break from fic and from fiction writing (mostly) I am still so proud of where I am now, and I love it. So don’t worry about not writing for a while. You’ll grow and get new ideas and experiences and hey! Maybe one day writing will call for you again in a new or old way! Don’t beat yourself up about it is the only thing. 

And omg I hope you don’t have to wake up early tomorrow! I hope you get some lovely rest and that you feel alright. It’s always lovely to hear from you cookie anon, I hope that you never worry about that. Have a lovely week and I hope that you enjoy your holidays to the fullest!

[smalltragedy]

* herman tommeraas, cis man + he/him | you know donovan mercer, right? they’re twenty one, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, four months? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to ice boy by corbin like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole fear hidden behind a stoic stare, bleeding from your nose and from your gums, and the night sky with all its stars, with all its mystery and unknown thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is march 15th, so they’re a pisces, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 21, est, they/them )

looks away as i finally post his intro after being kinda awol fr however long. i love him a lot n hes also bri’s character mercy’s younger brother so u hv to be nice to him. think abt mercy’s life. then think abt ducky. im sry in advance tht his intro’s a little longer ive hd ducky fr like. a year or two n i’ve been playing him a While <3 as always like this if u’d like 2 plot n i’ll try 2 msg u bck bt otherwise im gna just hop right into threads bc obv i need to. change my methods.

ABUSE, VIOLENCE, DRUG ABUSE, EYE INJURY, GANG MENTIONS TW.

mini playlist.

father ;; the front bottoms / ice boy ;; corbin / lose yourself ;; eminem / my own worst enemy ;; lit / say it ain’t so ;; weezer / maps ;; yeah yeah yeahs / star stopping ;; lil peep / benz truck ;; lil peep / trauma ;; nf / northern downpour ;; panic! at the disco / your graduation ;; modern baseball.

statistics.

full name: donovan mercer.

nickname(s): ducky.

birthday: march 15th, 1999.

zodiac: pisces sun, aquarius moon, aquarius ascending.

mbti & temperament: intp & theorist / phlegmatic.

label: the despondent.

hometown: hell’s kitchen, new york.

sexuality: bisexual (bt not out). 

pinterest.

biography.

born in hell’s kitchen to vinny mercer and a mother who ran out of the hospital as fast as she could, as soon as she was able. she’d gone so quick that she’d never given ducky a middle name - just donovan. the younger brother of mercy (shoutout 2 bri)

his father’s the right-hand man of a well known mob boss named lars amaretto, and so, you can imagine the kind of environment ducky (& mercy) grew up in. weapon & drug dealings, interrogations, violence around every corner. a brutal way of living, no place to raise two children.

implied abuse tw // their father was not kind, or merciful - and ducky was a runt compared to mercy, small and sensitive and kinder than his brother. weak, and filled with softness, with big brown eyes and a smile that should’ve been able to melt ice - but it didn’t. and it never did.

he cried often, and was punished often for it until he learned to stop crying - at least in front of their father, and mercy too, at some point. only in the comfort of his room, with doors locked and blinds drawn closed. implied abuse end of tw

he dreamed, too, dreamt often. he’d been obsessed with outer space since childhood, as long as he could remember. school had once shown man landing on the moon, and ducky wanted that. wanted to be that, wanted to be there, up with the stars, discovering the unthinkable.

abuse mention // but it was discouraged, heavily so - projects destroyed by an angry fist only to be reconstructed to the best of ducky’s ability, with mercy’s help, all throughout the night. he’d saved up for a telescope when he was thirteen, but it’d been destroyed almost immediately when discovered. not a day went by that their father didn’t tell ducky that he was, first and foremost, stupid - and would always be. end of abuse mention

to the point where he stopped trying, simply. he never graduated high school.

abuse mention // anxiety mention // anyways … at the age of fifteen, he’d have enough. he was sick of the abuse, the pain - the crying behind closed doors, the sneaking around, the constant feeling of needing to escape, impending doom, anxiety attacks in the shower and in school bathrooms and at the back of the bus where nobody sat besides him because he was - that boy, the son of that man, the brother of that brute. he’d been a teenager and he’d already been an outcast by all means - an outcast in his family, no matter how hard he tried to appease vinny, and an outsider everywhere else.

the plan took months of preparation, paper ripped out from the back of his school notebook and stuffed beneath his mattress, details of his escape from a checklist of essential items to makeshift maps of bus routes to different cities.

all for nothing, the moment vinny discovered it, the edge of a map sticking out after a rushed morning.

heavy abuse tw // violence tw // it’d been the same day he’d gotten the nickname - ducky - the way the wound wrapped below his mouth, and the way it’d begun to heal - puckered, at first, like a duck’s bill. a better name than eyepatch, at the very least. the scar’d run from the arch of his left brow, across his eye, down his cheek, and below his lip. his eye sustained injury, and not allowed to see a doctor about it, it never healed properly.

eye injury // corneal scarring, impairing his left eye. astronaut dreams destroyed, but not in a matter of seconds. in the matter of an hour, maybe more - and that’d been much, much worse. 

he stopped trying to run away after that. tried to be more like their father, more like mercy - more brutish, less feeling. spoke less, and less. spoke hardly at all, unless spoken to first.

still didn’t matter. still lived his days in fear, still knew it’d never change. nothing would ever change.

the mercer brothers have been floating around the north carolina scene for ~5ish years now, trailing after their father who is consistently chasing after their mother with no luck. they’re currently residing in palm motel. can we get a hell yeah?

personality & facts.

he’s actually very? intimidating? when you first meet him. mercy’s younger brother, with a criminal’s record almost as long as his - a scarred face and a mean resting face. it takes at least five minutes of conversation beyond small talk before it starts to weigh on your mind that maybe, he’s not as bad as he seems.

and - well, he isn’t. but he’s guarded - so guarded. more-so than mercy, because mercy’s quicker to anger, quicker to react, and ducky tries so hard to drown out the noise. but he’s not a robot, and his facial expressions can give him away in a second.

he’s seen what happened when mercy had a glimpse of something good in his life (though, it wasn’t actually good at all - mercy had someone, at least. at the very least) - and how quickly it’d all fallen, and so ducky puts a barrier between him and others. distant, as much as he can be.

it hurts, because ducky isn’t by any means antisocial. he doesn’t hate people - he wants to be normal, wants to have friends and a girlfriend - or maybe even a boyfriend, god - but he’s so afraid. ducky is, by nature, a very scared person. terrified to his very core. he knows there is always eyes on him, and mercy too, and he knows that nothing is worth getting someone else hurt.

you know him as mercy’s little brother, and he’s quiet you know that - but his name is ducky, and you think - he’s not too bad. and he knows this, knows the doubts. knows that it’ll get back to mercy, eventually, that his brother is nothing more but a pussy. so he fights more than he’d like to, against the guilt that buries itself deep within his chest with every thrown fist. he throws up, afterwards, in the garbage can outside. too much to drink, he says, rare grin - because grins are convincing, and grins with bleeding gums are intimidating. he learned that from his brother.

violence makes him sick to his very stomach. he can’t watch horror films, or even action films, without feeling queasy. there’s been more times than he can count where he’d thrown up after a fight, or after an interrogation, usually in private but in the occasional presence of mercy.

they fight, a lot, sometimes - ducky’s too soft, too weak, and it’s bad and it’s terrible and ducky knows that mercy’s afraid. for him, of their father, and his wraith. ducky knows that if mercy isn’t hard on him now, their father will be on him harder. still. there’s resentment, small but there, like the flame of a match. he doesn’t know what’ll happen when there’s nothing more to burn, but he doesn’t want to find out. he’s afraid to find out.

he’s still in love with the moon and the stars, and the planet’s - and their moons, too. its subdued, now, though. a silent passion - one that is often not watered, left for rot. he sneaks into engineering lectures at the community college, occasionally, or physics, or whatever peeks the small curiosity inside of him.

commits small acts of kindness when nobody looks. doors held open, the meals of elderly folk eating alone suddenly paid. picks up litter besides trash bins, and always cooks extra than what he needs and leaves the rest for mercy. it’s these small things that make him feel, just the slightest, better about himself.

because god - there are layers and layers of self-loathing. it’s a labyrinth, and he’d never speak of it - but he can’t stand his own reflection. doesn’t keep photos of his family, only a few sparingly of mercy.

a liar, sad to say. has little experience with. ehem. intimacy, and the bodies of others, but lies often and says that he does. mostly to his brother, but word travels quick - and he’s not nearly as much as a fuckboy as is rumored, having only been with a handful of girls, if even that. it’s better this way - if people know that he throws others away like they’re nothing.

he ghosts often, too, if he does get to talking with anybody. the moment ducky feels a spark, something pulling at his poor heart, he ghosts. he develops feelings too easily, too often than he’d like. has left many friendships without explanation, because of this. you know the priest in fleabag season 2? the scene where he comes to fleabag’s house? yeah. tht’s ducky!

has maybe half the amount of clients that mercy does, but he’s working on it.

pretends he doesn’t care as much as he does. pretends a lot, like there’s nothing soft to him. but a trained eye can see clearly through this. even so - even if you can see that there’s more to ducky than violence and drug deals - you’d still have to break through a dozen walls.

in the rare occasion you get him talking - i mean, talking a lot - he’ll talk about space. ramble off a dozen useless facts about dwarf stars and black holes and all of jupiter’s moons. about a video game he likes, about nothing and everything at all. but as soon as he begins, he stops - embarrassed. apologizes, shuts his mouth, disappears to wherever. anywhere but there.

drug abuse // has a. complicated relationship with benzos n xanax n a various assortment of painkillers. ironic bc he hates drugs due to. his chosen career n wldnt do most of what they sell, bt yknow. this ws inevitable. hates beer bt forces himself 2 drink it bc toxic masculinity probably man idk.

overall just … he’s a soft boy, with a big heart - bigger than anybody else in his family, that’s for sure, but his exterior is far different than that, and it’s hard to tell.

violence mention // purposely loses fights so that he doesn’t have to severely hurt someone. because sometimes he just - he was raised in a violent environment, and sometimes he snaps. sometimes ducky just fucking snaps. and his vision goes red, and he can’t control himself - because need to survive kicks in, and violence is all he knows. if someone pushes ducky - pushes him enough, he breaks. he fights back. it’s all he knows. it’s all he knows. it’s all he knows, and that’s not an excuse - and he knows this, and god, he’s so tired. he is so. tired.

wanted plots.

u look good tonight ... ;; wld love a connection in which he is feeling emotionally compromised n maybe kinda hs a thing w someone bt hes like. very unreliable n kinda ghosting bc he is very afraid n it wld b maybe bad fr them to b anything other than hook ups. cld apply to smth very intensive or smth very surface lvl i’ll take thousands.

palms sweaty ... moms spaghetti ... ;; ppl tht ducky just hs fkn brawled. cld b anybody fr any reason. ducky prob lost n he prob lost on purpose bt also ur muse cld maybe kick ducky’s ass? cld b a fake fight cld b a real fight. cld b a npc fight n then ur muse cn patch up ducky? possibilities endless. maybe they hv a nice spaghetti dinner n both of them r both bruised up frm their fight. sometimes fights end in spaghetti dinners. thanks eminnem or whatever.

own worse enemy... ;; ducky needs friends bt hes bad at making friends n sometimes he fks shit up by pushing ppl away n self sabotaging n being a major cunt n sometimes he just ghosts bt hes always very remorseful abt it? this cld b a very like. up n down friendship of any type its just. where do they stand. r they friends. r they enemies. r they lovers? probably not lovers. prob just platonic. but still its the thought tht counts. 

and also ;; literally just like. anything. clients who buy off of him n like. casual friends n casual enemies n casual hookups. ppl hes ghosted. ppl hes embarrassed himself in front of. maybe ur muse tries to get ducky to socialize or maybe ducky is like. u are too much fr me. n ur muse runs off crying. endless possibilities all u hv to do is call this number now. 

[hopelikethemoon]

Reunion Part 2 (Javier x Reader) {MTMF}

Title: Reunion (Part 2) Rating: PG-13 Length: 1400 Warnings: None Notes: You can find everything about Maybe Today, Maybe Forever here. Set December 24th 1998. Part 2 of yesterday’s update. And a shorty, because I was working on my room all day. Unbeta’d because we ride like warriors.  Summary: Mitch and co. enjoy dinner with Reader and her family

@grapemama @seawhisperer @huliabitch @pedropascalito @rogrsnbarnes@thewallpapergoesorido @twomoonstwosuns @gooddaykate @livasaurasrex @ham4arrow@plexflexico @readsalot73 @hdlynn @lokiaddicted @randomness501 @fioccodineveautunnale  @roxypeanut @snivellusim @lukesrighthand @historynerd04 @mrsparknuts@synystersilenceinblacknwhite @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @exrebelshocktrooper@awesomefandomsunited @ah-callie @swhiskeys @lady-tano @u-wakatoshii @space-floozy @cable-kenobi @cool-ultra-nerd @himbopoes @findhimfives @pedrosdoll @frietiemeloen@arrowswithwifi @random066 @uncomicalhumour @heather-lynn @domino-oh-damn @cyarikaaa @ahopelessromanticwritersworld @im-still-a-pieceofgarbage @ksgeekgirl​  @yabby-girl​ @xqueenofthecraziesx @punkass-potato @coredrive​ @pascalesque​@theduchessofkirkcaldy @queenquazar @sabinemorans​ @buckstaposition​ @holkaskrosnou​@yespolkadotkitty​ @fleetwoodmactshirt​ @seeking-a-great–perhaps @kochamcie​ @jaime1110​

The afternoon had gone smoothly. Catching up with Mitch had proven easier than you had expected it to go. He was an easy going guy, but you had still been nervous about revisiting those parts of your past. 

You and Connie helped Chucho with dinner, which proved to be a bit of a smorgasbord of different side dishes and choices. Proof of the blended nature of your families. 

“What is it that you do, Monica?” Darla questioned as she primly forked up a bite of the brussel sprouts that Connie had brought. 

“Well, I’m a student right now.” Monica answered, wiping at her mouth. “I graduate in May.”

“Oh, that’s right.” She nodded. “Have you decided what you plan on pursuing after graduation?”

“I’m considering law school.”

“She’s incredibly smart,” You boasted. “She’s got the drive, passion, and intellect to really go places.”

Javier was quick to add on after you, “She’s top of the class. She puts a hundred and twenty into every project.”

Monica rubbed at her cheeks, “Guys, come on. You’re going to make me turn into a puddle.”

Nadia nudged her, “She’s brilliant and humble. A winning combination.”

“And what are you studying?” Mitch questioned. 

“Already graduated.” Nadia explained, “I’m working at NASA. My internship transitioned into a full time job.”

“NASA?” Mitch pursed his lips approvingly. “That’s pretty impressive.”

“I’m gonna go to space!” Josie announced, shoving a piece of bread into her mouth. 

“Please don’t choke.” You chastised her gently, “I thought you were going to wrangle dinosaurs.”

“In space.” She said as she chewed.

“Mouth closed.” Javier tapped her arm to get her attention before giving her a stern look. “Manners.”

She stuck her tongue out.

Mitch laughed, “Someone’s a spitfire.”

“We have our hands full,” You shook your head, taking a swig of your beer. “And someone is going to go to bed without dessert.” You warned Josie.

“So, Tate,” Javier cleared his throat and took a swig of beer. “Still in college or thrust into the job field?”

“Fortunately, I’m done with college.” Tate offered. “I recently got hired at a big architectural firm in the city. Mostly working as a consultant on a few rehabs downtown.”

Javier nodded with interest, “I had a friend in college who went on to become a pretty successful architect. Designed a bunch of the Holiday Inns in Texas.”

“That’s a sweet gig if you can land it,” Tate agreed. “Architecture sort of fell into my lap.”

Darla coughed politely, “Tate had initially attended Syracuse.”

“That’s a big party school, isn’t it?” Nadia questioned and the face Tate made in response was answer enough. 

“We got him transferred back home sophomore year. Temple.” Darla shrugged. “The head of the architecture program’s wife is a dear friend of mine. We serve on the DAR board together. She put in a good word for Tate.”

“Fortunately,” Tate shifted in his seat nervously. “I enjoy it. I always loved building tracks and Lego models.” He shrugged. “So, uh… what do you both teach?”

“I’m not teaching yet,” You answered, as you watched Mitch converse with Chucho to his left. “But it’ll be an elective in the criminology course at UM.”

“They’ve got me teaching a handful of courses,” Javier explained. “The thing people fail to recognize is just how much government overreach and bureaucratic bull you have to put up with if you wanna go into a field like the DEA.”

Steve leaned forward, resting his arms on the table. “It’s not for the faint of heart. I just got out myself. Starting up my own consulting business.” He shrugged. “The government doesn’t care about the people affected by the narcos. Just look at what the US did to Mexico.”

You watched Javier then, searching his expression for any signs of discomfort. You knew he despised bringing up Colombia — but these last few months had made it impossible. 

“Is Santa in Mexico?” Josie questioned.

Chucho clicked his tongue against his teeth, “I bet he is. You gonna be good the rest of the night so I don’t have to tell him to fly by?”

“I’m a good girl.”

“I know you are.” Chucho winked at her. “But you’ve gotta be good right up until the moment he shows up… and then for a whole year after he’s gone!”

“Is Sofía going to be on the good list?” She looked at her sister then. “Sissy cries a lot.”

Javier leaned over and kissed the top of her head, “I have it on good authority that both of you are on the good list. Right alongside Emily and Olivia.”

Monica dropped her voice, “I heard that even Nadia was on the good list.”

“Speaking of the good list,” Nadia gave Monica a look, “My momma’s going to be expecting us soon.”

“Oh? Are you still going?”

“Yeah,” Nadia shrugged. “She’s still a little iffy with the whole girlfriend thing, but I think she’s coming around.”

“I’m glad. Still coming over tomorrow afternoon?”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” Monica beamed, clearing off their dishes. “Mitch, Darla, Tate — I’ll see you tomorrow. It was a pleasure to meet you.” She looked to Chucho then. “Still need a ride to the hotel?”

“Stephen here offered to give me a ride.”

“Drive safe and have fun.” You called out as they got ready to leave. “See you in the morning.”

“You two have been awfully chatty down there,” Javier pointed out as he gestured between Chucho and Mitch. “Should I be afraid?”

You chuckled, “I wasn’t going to say anything, but… What horror stories are you telling?”

Mitch gave a good natured laugh, “We’re just commiserating on how good it is to see you both happy.”

You smiled warmly, “It’s hard to believe we’ve spent seven Christmases together.”

“More if you count the years prior,” Steve pointed out. 

“Yeah, but you were always trying to pair me off with someone.” You made a face. “Mitch, can you believe these two tried to pair me off with doctors.”

Mitch laughed, “She hated the hospital.”

“I got chickenpox.” You grimaced. “No sixteen year old should have the chickenpox.”

“Well, how was I supposed to know you were in love with Javier?”

You shrugged, “It all worked out in the end.” You reached around Josie to rest your hand on Javier’s shoulder. “Can you get dessert ready, while I get Sofía down?”

“Of course, baby.” Javier nodded, scooting his chair back. 

“I’ll help,” Mitch offered. 

“He’s not bad around the kitchen.” Darla assured you. 

You scooted your chair back and grabbed Sofía out of her high chair, hauling her back to the nursery. 

Sofía was quick to fall asleep, clearly worn out after an afternoon of entertaining everyone. Josie would be quick behind her — you doubted she’d make it past dessert. 

And the sooner they both went to sleep, the sooner you and Javier could put out the gifts from Santa; and drink down the milk and eat the cookies she would leave out for him too. 

Christmas was fun as a parent. 

 ——

 “The bells have been put on Josie’s door, we’ll know if she tries to escape.” Javier told you as he quietly shut the bedroom door behind him and moved to join you in bed.

You rolled over to face him, reaching out to run your hand down his arm. “Do you think she’ll like the bike?”

“She’s been dying for one.” Javier smiled, “Santa did good.” He shifted closer to you, until his lips were mere inches from yours. “What did you get me for Christmas?”

You brushed your nose against his, “You’ll have to be a good boy and wait until the morning,” You teased as you traced your fingers over his cheek. 

“I don’t know if I’ve been good.” He retorted with a smirk as he curled his hand around your hip. 

You cupped his cheek and kissed him. “You were great today. It went so well.”

“That was all you, baby.”

“It was everyone.” You kissed him softly again. “What did you think of Mitch?”

“He’s a hell of a guy. Down to earth despite…” He made a face. “Darla’s loaded, isn’t she?”

You nodded. “Yeah. I mean, our dad was middle class. But Darla is a whole different league.”

“Did you enjoy today!”

“It was so weird to see them again,” You chewed on your bottom lip. “I think I’m going to keep in contact with them.”

“They seem like good people.”

“And I want the girls to know their aunt and uncle. Aside from Steve and Connie. I want them to have a family… a big happy family.”

“I could get used to spending Christmas like this. A full house… a full belly.”

You poked him in the gut, “That's all your pops. He cooks the best holiday dinners.”

“Yeah, he was always good about making the holidays special. You know, we always had these big extended family get togethers around the holidays.” He shrugged. 

“They’re overwhelming, but they’re fun.” You stretched your legs, reaching one over to slot in between his. “Thank you.”

“What for?”

“Being mine.”

Javier missed your forehead. “Merry Christmas, baby.”

You smiled to yourself, remembering the first time he said that to you. 

That photo album had long been filled with photos of the two of you and the family you’d made together. 

[liw-the-melancholic-apple]

The First One - Bonus scenes in traditional written word

This is a smau and a zukoXreader, although i haven't decided how this ends yet.

Y/n has recently transferred to Ba Sing Se from Omashu university and meets the gaang through a schoolproject they do with sokka and suki.

Masterlist

Bonus 4: Good Morning

The sound of a machine of some sorts woke you up. A look out the window confirmed two things: It was still rather early and Haru’s parents’ neighbours had no idea what an appropriate time for high-pressure-cleaning patios was. Sighing you sat up and looked around. You found your shoes and thought you remembered where the bathroom was.

The short night definitely left its traces on you: Your clothes and hair looked deschevelled, you didn’t smell as fresh as you would like, you had dark circles under your eyes and your voice was rather hoarse. You did what you could without rummaging through the drawers of the bathroom, then you wandered through the house.

There were fotos everywhere. Most of them were of Haru, who you guessed didn’t have any siblings, but some had a very kind-looking couple on them. A wedding picture in which they both laughed at something happening out of frame. It seemed genuine, a true candid shot. He had his hand around her waist and her hand was in mid-air, presumably on its way to fix his tie for the actual wedding picture, but something must have had happened. They both were bending over laughing pointing out of frame looking at each other.

You studied the picture. I made you like the couple. It made you believe in their love and their relationship. It made you want to get to know them. Be a part of that happiness and trust and joy. There was no question why they chose to display this picture. It was amazing!

You watched the couple become parents, buy a house, get older and go through the decades that saw Haru grow from a baby into a smiley toddler, distracted child, unimpressed teenager and openhearted twenty-something. They seemed a happy family. Truly.

The journey through Haru’s life had left you at the front door and wanting some coffee. You found the kitchen empty but quickly discovered a coffee machine. While it was entirely too sophisticated for the broke student you were, you did manage to get it to spew out some dark and caffeinated goodness into a cup you found in the second cupboard you opened. With it you kept on strolling through the house until the living room introduced you to the French doors that lead into the garden. And boy, the garden!

You sat in that little paradise when your phone buzzed and Zuko begged you to talk to him. Apparently, he was at his uncle’s shop working the early shift and there was not a lot to do as it was Sunday. You texted back and forth for a good while.

Yesterday you hadn’t talked to him a lot, outside of him apologising for his uncle and the Sokka-rum-discussion. You know learned that he was a good nephew and studied International Business and International Relations. When you called him out as ambitious, though, he was quick to bring up the words pressure and expectations. You didn’t know him. And whatever those expectations and that pressure were about it seemed you weren’t competent to comment on it or them. Zuko struck you as a private person. You contemplated telling him exactly that. You didn’t. You conveyed the message, though. He seemed relieved. And he liked politics and diplomacy which told you a number of things: 

Be wary of any promises he makes. He might be doing that politician thing where he doesn’t keep them

If you ever want to ruin somebody’s life or career, ask him how to do it, he will have learned about it and remembered

If you ever don’t know how to handle a conflict ask him, he’s into figuring out compromises and status-quo-situation

He probably gives good advice. The kind that will be good for you and not too offensive to others

He is smart

He is into reading

He can find the good in the bad.

After all it sounded like his parents made him study those subjects and if he had had a true choice he would have gone for something else. Yet, he found aspects that he enjoyed, that he could use in his life and that he could be passionate about.

He liked travelling

All in all he was intriguing. A lot of layers to peel back. Whether it be the interest in politics – which were a lot of smoothtalking, manipulation, using popular opinions AND ideologies, the fate and future of countries and people and so many struggles or the family history. You could probably have real conversations with him. And you decided you would like to as well.

Another thing you learned about Zuko was that he was Sokka’s secret source for his part of the Worldhistory project. In the past couple weeks Sokka had gone on and on about how much information he had gotten form an anonymous sponsor.

“Sokka made it sound like you were the discovery of a century!”

“Am I not?” No, for all you knew he wasn’t.

Yes, he was intriguing and most likely multi-layered; yes he was tall and dark and handsome and that scar on his face added several facets to that handsomeness; yes, he had that tea-loving angel of an uncle, but he was no discovery of a century. He was some good-looking guy with an interesting background.

“To be determined” Better not alienate him by telling him he wasn’t all that special. You still wanted to be his friend.

Could you have gone on for two more hours talking to Zuko? Yes. Yes. You could have. But you didn’t because there were footsteps in the house. And it sounded like they were coming from the kitchen. You got up to investigate. Hoping you’d find Sokka, Suki, Toph, Aang or Katara in the kitchen, you would have been okay with Haru, but instead you found an agile white haired gentleman. From the fotos you recognised him as Haru’s father. He was doing something to the sophisticated coffeemachine and congratulated himself. Then he turned around, saw you, got scared and nearly let his cup fall and crash on the kitchen tiles. Instead he just made a weird move with his arm that resulted in a wave of hot liquid jumping into the air and splashing on the floor.

“Ouch!”, the man screamed. “Who the hell are you?”

“Sorry, Sir. Y/n. I’m friends with… I know your son. Haru. We helped him pack up the party yesterday and he told us we could stay here. I assumed you knew…Excuse the intrusion, please.”

“Tyro”, he extended his hand. You shook it.

“You’re not intruding. Haru told us that some of his friends might stay over. I just didn’t expect anybody to be awake yet. And we don’t know each other.”

“Again, sir, sorry.”

“That cup empty?” Tyro pointed at the mug you had brought with you.

“Nearly. I took the liberty of drinking your coffee.”

“Do you want more? I can offer you black coffee and black coffee with milk from the fridge. The thing is supposed to be able to come up with all kinds of fancy drinks, but that’s more my wife’s department. I didn’t bother learning about that.”

“Black coffee would make me really happy, Sir.”

Tyro filled your cup and gestured for you to follow him back into the garden. So, you did. He asked about who you were and how you knew his son.

“To be honest, Sir, there isn’t a lot to tell. I moved to the city for this semester. Transferred from Omashu University. I’m studying anthropology. One of the classes I take together with Sokka and Suki, who are friends with Zuko who used to be Haru’s roommate. Aaaaaaand they brought me to the party yesterday. There I met Haru. The end.”

“You helped him tidy up the speakers and all that jazz after having only met him that night?” You nodded your head yes.

“Commendable.”

You carried on talking to Haru’s dad, brushing on the subjects of family, education and music. The band Haru played in was called “Grounded”. According to Tyro they were “just having fun” but they also “sounded like actual musicians”. This band needed to be inspected.

You told him about Gray Sky and Tiff on the Rocks, the pub you used to play. It turned out that Haru inherited his passion for music from his father. Dad all but interrogated you on you average guitar playing and experience with piano lessons, when his wife walked through the French doors.

She introduced herself to you and asked if you wanted more coffee. As she was the coffee-maker-whisperer, you now were offered the entire range of coffee-drinks and gladly accepted a Cappuccino the size of your head. After she mad you happy with that, she sent you back out, with the intention of preparing breakfast. You offered to help but were quickly shut down.

The moment you sat down in the lounge chair by big tree, Haru entered the kitchen, got a cup of coffee from his mum and was surprised to find you in musical discussion with his father. Thankfully, he did remember you and was delighted to hear that you were a fellow guitarist, even though he was likely a lot more skilled than you were. In fact, you said this multiple times, resulting in Haru running inside and grabbing one of his dad’s guitars.

You  started by playing some of the 90's hits that Sokka had massacred the night before, proving that Haru was better than you. You handed the instrument back to him. 

"How about You Oughta Know?", he suggested. You looked at him, blinking. 

"You said you used to sing in Omashu. Let's hear it."

"Uhm…", you hesitated.

"I'm with stupid", Tyro chuckled. "I'm curious."

"Fine."  You let Haru play a few tacts before you started the verse. He harmonised with you in the chorus, during which Tyro got another guitar.

From Alanis you moved to the Verve; from "Nothing compares 2 u", to "Loser". Haru and his dad loved the 90's. Nirvana, Take That, TLC, Blur, Oasis, Britney, Beasty Boys, you named it they had it. Aang, Katara, Suki, Sokka and Toph joined you three out on the patio, all carrying cups of various coffees and plates full of food. While harmonising to Tyro's lead you remembered that his wife had talked about preparing breakfast. From what you saw on your friend's - yeah friends! - plates, she had not held back. There were eggs and bacon, pancakes, bread, cinnaminrolls and meats, cheeses, jams, butter and honey.

When she herself came out to join the table, she carried a  bowl of yoghurt and nuts, that she assured everyone was an option for everyone. Tyro got his own plate and dat down next to Sokka. He motioned for Haru and you to come eat but you two were determined to finish the decade. So, you did. And then you entered the 2000s. Every now and again you'd pick up the second guitar, while alternating with Haru singing lead and harmonising. You had the time of your life!

Haru's mum topped off your coffees and although your stomach was screaming at you to give it some of the wonderful smelling food, you played and sang for more than two hours. The others enjoyed your efforts and sang along when they were done eating. Tyro relieved his son of guitar duties and jammed with you while Haru diminished the pancakes. 

He then took your spot and you praised the eggs, bacon and cinnamonrolls.

"If you're ever desperate  for something to do, you're welcome to my appartment and put on breakfast!",  you said, all but crying, after noon when you had finished. Haru's mum blushed. But die didn't say no.

After you had finished your breakfast, everyone helped clear the table and load the dishwasher. Tyro insisted you all had another round of coffee, during which there was more music and Sokka got the recipe for the hangover cure smoothie that Mrs Haru  had made him as soon as he entered the kitchen.

You left around 2:30 with many "thank yous" and "you're the bests" and "we can help some mores". Although you hadn't slept much you decided to hit up the Jasmin Dragon to see if Zuko had  died from boredom already. 

[ahsokadrabbles]

𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭 𝐚𝐝𝐦𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐫 [dan torrance x reader]

request: First off I love your writing and hope you're doing well :) I was wondering if you could do a Dan Torrance x reader(f) where his shine is drawn to her for some reason-u can pick why- and how they connect through that. Like maybe he could talk to her in her thoughts and what their dynamic would be like together. Thank u! Hope it's not too complicated. -i had a lot of fun writing this request, thank you anon! <3

warnings: age gaps and lots of fluff!!

word count: 2,091

Dan Torrance was passionate about his job at the local retirement home. It was there that he discovered he enjoyed helping people. It also gave him a way to use his shine for good and because of that, he earned the nickname Doctor Sleep from the patients. For the first time in a while, Dan felt purpose, he felt needed. He didn't think anything could make his job better, but that was before you showed up to be the new receptionist. You were one of the youngest employees and had just graduated high school. You were sweet and polite and maybe one of the most beautiful girls Dan had ever seen, but he couldn't say a word to you. He knew that you were all too young for him and worried that you'd turn your nose up at him if he even said a word to you. But what if he could speak to you without showing his face? Dan tried to use his shine at a minimum, but this situation seemed like an exception.

Dan peered around the corner and into the main entryway where you sat at your desk with Azzie the cat in your lap, peacefully stroking his white fur. It was a slow day at the home with very few visitors so you figured it called for a break. "Who's a good kitty?" You cooed, throwing the cat over your shoulder like a rag doll. Azzie caught a glimpse of Dan in the doorway and skirted off to your dismay. Dan slunk around the corner as he quietly cursed the cat for nearly blowing his cover. He realized that it was now or never, he had to say something. He swallowed hard and then deeply concentrated, letting himself enter your mind. "Hey," You lifted up your head, expecting to see a guest at the door, but no one was there. "Hello?" You called out, scanning the space around you. "Please don't freak out-" The same voice said, causing you to now stand up from your seat. "What the hell?" "My name is, Dan. You don't really know me, but-" "Where are you exactly?" You questioned, stood in the middle of the room as stumped as could be. "In your head I guess?" Dan poorly explained. "I'm losing it aren't I?"  "You're not crazy, I promise." You pinched yourself, feeling as if you were trapped in some weird dream, but you could still feel the sting of pain. "If you're in my head, can you see my memories?" You tested. "If I tried, yeah." "Say something no one would know about me."

Dan obliged and began his trek down the long hallway of your mind. The last time he had done this was long ago, but he found it funny how everyone's mind looked so different. Your mind was a massive library with towering shelves made of polished oak, your memories were written in leather-bound diaries that smelt like dust with a hint of your perfume. Dan picked up one of the diaries and flipped the pages in search of your most specific memory. "In middle school, everyone made fun of you for still having stuffed animals at the foot of your bed. It hurt you a lot, but you couldn't bear to get rid of them and you still have them now."  You swallowed the golf ball-sized lump in your throat as you anxiously twiddled your fingers. "Where did I start to hide them when my friends came over?" You asked. Dan was quiet for a moment as he scanned the cream-colored page for an answer. "You pulled back the paneling in your closet and shoved them back there." He replied. "Your mom pitched a fit when she found out that you had torn up your closet, but when she discovered why she felt sorry for you."

You used the heel of your hand to wipe a stray tear as you let out a dry laugh. You hadn't thought about that in so long. You could picture your stuffed animals at the foot of your bed back in your apartment, you really did still have them. "How can you do this?" You puzzled, sitting back down in your chair. "I always called it the shining. It's like being a psychic."  "Are you a ghost?" You innocently asked, earning a chuckle from Dan. "Not since the last time I checked." He wittily replied. "Can you see me?" You further questioned. Dan paused and carefully thought out his next move. You didn't know who he was so technically he could say whatever he wanted. "I see a very beautiful girl behind a desk."  You felt your face heat up as you smiled softly down at the floor. You didn't even know who this man was, why was he making you feel this way? "I-I should get  back to work." You stammered. "Will you talk to me again sometime? It's nice having some company around here, it gets too quiet." "Of course," Dan replied as he smiled to himself.

After a few months of talking, Dan realized why his shine had been attracted to you in the first place; you were lonely. He could already sense this about you, but he saw the full extent of your loneliness when he caught you crying one night. "You okay?" He asked, in his mind, he was projected at the foot of your bed. "Yeah," You sniffed, aggressively rubbing at your eyes which only smeared your makeup worse. "You don't look fine."  "I don't want to talk about it. It's embarrassing." "Y/N, you know you can trust me. My job is to be here for you and I can't do that if you don't tell me what's going on."  "I just feel really alone." You simply put it. "All I have is you. Everyone else I've ever known is out doing something with their lives or has just left me behind. This is gonna sound selfish, but nothing feels like enough anymore." "That's not selfish, Y/N. I know how you feel." Dan solemnly replied. Suddenly, a wave of guilt struck him deep. He had been there for you all of this time, but not psychically there. He felt like a coward because he was watching you break down and fall apart when he could probably walk to your apartment and fully be there for you. "What time do you go to work today?" "I almost forgot!" You groaned, turning your head to glance at the alarm clock on your nightstand. "I've got to be ready in an hour. I should really get going." "Alright, have a good day. Don't be afraid to reach out if you need me." Dan added. "Um, before you go-" You quickly said. "I love you." Dan froze in shock at the words that left your mouth. You had said the three words he had been dying to say to you. "I love you too, Y/N."

You had managed to collect yourself after your pity party and successfully made it to work. Your chest was filled with butterflies after the earlier events you had with Dan. You couldn't believe that you had said you loved him. You had never even seen his face before, but your affection for him was growing harder to hold back. Truthfully; you didn't regret a thing. You spent the first few hours of your shift smiling to yourself and organizing paperwork and suddenly you found yourself on cloud nine. He said I love you back! Maybe you weren't so alone after all. While you swooned over your somewhat secret admirer, Dan paced back and forth down the hall with a bouquet of flowers in his hand. Earlier that day he had built up the courage to reveal his identity to you, but that courage got watered down with the passing hours.  "What do you think I should do, Azzie?" Dan asked, crouching down to rub the head of the cat that had been weaving between his legs. The cat purred in reply and stared up at Dan with striking blue eyes. "I bet you're telling me not to be such a coward, huh?" He chuckled as he came up out of his crouched position. "Let's go woo the girl, kitty."

"How's work?" You heard Dan's voice say. You made note of how he sounded a lot less echoey than he normally did, but you brushed it off and figured that it must've been some sort of telekinetic interference that you wouldn't understand. "It's fine." You sighed. "I'm feeling a lot better after talking to you. You were right about-" You lifted your head to look forward as a man's shadow cast itself across your desk. "Hi! how can I help you?" You kindly asked, admiring the handsome smile on his weathered face. You'd seen him around before and recognized him as one of the nurses. You figured he just needed some paperwork or something like that. "It's a lot easier to talk to you in your head." He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. "Dan?" You nearly choked as you shot up out of your chair. "In the flesh." He grinned. You ran out from behind your desk and wrapped him up in a tight hug that nearly knocked him off his feet. "I can't believe it's you!" You exclaimed as you tucked your head beneath his chin. "You've been here with me all this time?" "Yes, and I wish I could make it all up to you. I feel like I've been playing you." Dan explained as he sunk deep into your touch.  He hadn't been hugged in so long, it felt even better than he remembered. "You have nothing to make up for. I just want to know why you kept yourself from me for so long." You said.

You were still holding onto him as if he'd disappear if you let go. He was so warm and soft and he smelt like nice aftershave.  "Let's just say I didn't expect this reaction," Dan replied as you slipped out of his arms and sat on the edge of your desk. Once you got situated, you pulled him over by his hands so he was stood in front of you. "I thought I would come off as some creep because I'm so much older than you. The last thing I would want is to scare you away." "Well, you already scared me pretty bad you started talking to me in my head!" You giggled. "Why would I be bothered by the fact that you're older than me?" You knew what point he was trying to get at, but you wanted to hear it come from his own mouth.  Dan was furiously blushing at this point as his blue eyes shifted to the linoleum floor beneath him. "Doesn't this drive the point home?" He nervously replied as he held up his bouquet of flowers. "You wanted to give these to me because..?" You drawled out, fighting back your smile. "Because I love you." Dan grinned, setting the flowers down beside your thigh. "I love you too, Danny." You hummed, contently smiling up at him.  "Are you free for dinner tonight?" He asked as you held your flowers flush against your chest. "Yes!" You exclaimed as you pulled him into a hug again. "I can't wait!" "Neither can I," Dan replied, hesitantly stroking your face with the back of his hand. "Kiss me?" You softly asked, looking up at him with those sweet, wide eyes. "How could I say no to that?"

You giggled as he pressed his lips against yours and cradled your jaw in his rough hands. You followed suit and wrapped your arms around his neck.  The kiss came to an end after a loud crash cut through the air and the two of you looked over to see nearly everything pushed off of your desk, including the flowers, with Azzie stood in the middle of it all looking as guilty as ever. "Azzie!" Dan scolded, kneeling down to retrieve your fallen paperwork and flowers. "I think Azzie is telling us to get back to work." You teased, resting your hand on the small of Dan's back. "I can take it from here, you should head back before you get in trouble." "I'll pick you up at six o'clock?" Dan said, looking up at you from the mess on the floor. "Perfect." You answered before placing a kiss on his stubbly cheek.

You found it funny how the person you needed most was just down the hall.

[madfantasy]

hii! sorry if you've answered this before, but how did you find your own art style? it's nothing like i've seen before, very dream-like (: i feel like with so many artists out there it can be hard to find one's own style but yours is truly unique. if it's not too much to ask, do you still have any of your first drawings? thank you 💕💕

(Oh & I'm sorry if I have answered it before, I didn't find anything on my blog so woop here comes my blaber)

Hello dear!

Thank you so much, you flatter me and my bit-som of art-som, heh. Specially that you have called it dream like— cuz 1/4 of my creations does come from my dreams. I even had a dream about Severus a couple of days ago- was explaining to him the concept of gestures in smartphones, I told him it's like pulling down a scroll, to get the notifications, lol.

Before I start side-tracking too much, yes- I can't say I do know how it happens, I guess I wasn't on the base of looking for an art style for myself, or ever considered myself an artist— or a real one? Idk. The idea of having an 'art style' doesn't register with me so I'm possibly always confused what to make of it.

I mean, I didn't go into art for art's sake. I don't enjoy beauty just for beauty's sake. It has to have a meaning, purpose, hidden dilemma you need to solve just by looking deeper; is it speaking to me, or am I speaking for it?

My only concern since the beginning of time of Mani apparating this earth and what got them into drawing anyway is: telling the story as best as possible.

I was drawing before I learned speaking. It was my instinctive language. I had something to say? Illustrated it on a piece of paper to show.

Everything I see in my surroundings or mostly in mind, I had a story to tell about. So I didn't even consider that I was making art.

I remember when I developed enough cells to be aware- I started trying to copy or capture the basics of family members, making stories about them, also games or shows I played; I drew Crash bandicoot, driving into a cliff because he was hated by his family, Tiny wearing an abaya. Pink panther cuz how tall he was weirded me out in a fascinating way, Tarzan and his special muscles, a story about an abused squid lady that eventually turn into a mermaid, a guy turning into a hero coz of some near death experience.. mmm stories about my favourite stuffed rabbit CeCe Bobo— probably the only innocent adventures I drew as a child— I wanted so badly to make them into a video game, having their parents fall into a pit of flames, heh.

And because I had daily TV episodes in my brain of whatever to occupy me from unsanitary real life; I associated with many people I love to see materlized; my characters. So I had to try & draw them exactly how they look/feel, and that's what my art slowly developed based on; is this guy the way I seen and felt him look like? If not, try other ways.

At first, I drew them with literal basic shapes, like a character would have a square face, and another heart, and if I couldn't draw circle, I used my pencil sharpener that was shaped as a circle. A method still I use to differentiate my characters (without the pencil sharpener lol)

Later, since my characters have generally my favourite things, or things I enjoy, things I appreciate— basically things from me directly or from my choices, conscious they were or not—had them chopped and scattered between the lot of them. And to learn how to do some favourite factors of them is what drives my art style I suppose. I knew I didn't want it realistic, but I also didn't want it unreal. What makes art real? That's probably the always questions I face.

Ofc, I was face with so many problems to deteriorate my passion for drawing. Like, not being allowed to draw in the first place. I had wait till everyone is gone or occupied, had to always look over my shoulder and must constantly hide every inkling of any art making, and act like the project I'm making is for school, and draw in breakfast breaks at school. I used to draw under my blanket and store my art between my books or under my pillow (never related to anything so hard like when Harry was studying magic and Dursley keeps checking on him, honestly heh). Either all that or I get the whip.

Or being told what's the point of having a style like that while everybody obviously enjoys popular styles like anime or cartoon? Why don't I draw like the popular to get noticed? I don't know how to draw anime or cartoon even if I tried. It will just show as my art style, no? Exactly like speaking two different languages with the same letters.

Or like the idea of strictly sticking to gendering things while the idea never occurred to me. The base line of how men has to be ugly and women pretty. My motto is showing beauty in everything, even in scary or messed up things hehe. But I had to consent to making my guys 'ugly' as possible to continue drawing, and if u notice a line on their throats, that's one other thing I had to do, wasn’t allowed to draw girls either. And I wasn't happy with any of that at all.

But I was able to win my right to draw anytime I like in recent years, and able to draw how I like how I use digital means. So it got better heh.

And no it's not too much, if anything, it was took me on a dusty beautiful trip of nostalgia, I thank you for it. Sadly I don't have my first drawings, and I do treasure them but they all been tossed, torn and burned before me over the years, heh.

The oldest thing I got is this, a comic made, was 11 years old I think:

Medo, a guy so beautiful that he was forced to work as a femal model, concept that felt the best to me, heh. Even tho I was in no contact with the outsider world.

He is my first solid character and I made endless comics of him.

He's develop into this -dated 2014- , he's fairy sentinel.

And I found few of my old or first time drawing them pics of the main characters in my stories, I'd love to share:

Juicy and X-bi— second ones I made. But these drawings are maybe 2 or 3 years after I made them

I know I said that lots, but x-bi was a mask wearing imaginary friend I translated into X-bi. He has almost always cold hands so I used to put my skin on cold metallic surface and imagine it his hands trying to ease the pain.

And since I had no audience home, my stuff showed at school as i drew alone, always with various replies of 'its good, but'

Juicy got me in trouble with a teacher, by a careless student that was browsing my drawings In front of them, and I was classified as mentally deranged and need help for not drawing the usual princes and white knight.

Fernando and Carlos are also old characters that expressed romance in everything they do, so when I had a drawing of them Carlos tending to a fevered Ferry, and it was snatched from me, everyone considering it intimacy and I had to punch my way through them to get it back. Being called perverted and sick in the process, even tho all they talk to me about is marriage and the process of making babies. One of them literally told me on random occasion that their heart was like a ten story building for rent, there's always someone new in and out.

Carlos is Fernando's soul guardian💛

I created General Pumbkin in school! expressing fashion in strictness with my fav hooked nose!

Axel was my joy in everything, and the most common character I got beat up for, for being girly. I don't draw him too much anymore but seeing him again made me auto happy , hes all about giving loff, darling hehe

Candy, a less brain developed babyy

Brain and Pain, my sibs fav characters from my bag, heh

And Sabine was said to me that he should be a girl to be that scared in a scary story, his story is like dark and twisted fairytales vibe that I love dearly. I'm trying to continue writing his story.

Despite whatever, I love doing art, I have to. It what gives me soul juice heh.

And thank you for sticking on my prolonged answer. I hope I didn't bore too much, I'm flooded with memories happy and bad, and they are all okay. It made me feel passionate again, so thank you for the opportunity 🙏

1.5.2020

[maddiefriendlovesbilly]

Spencer x Ghost?

Spencer x Ghost

(AAAAA- it has been months since you sent this to me, and all i can say is im so sorry) Side note I have my friend @lethalbreadkills helping me with this one!

For reference: Maddie (maddiefriendlovesbilly) is green, Jimmy (lethalbreadkills) is red (((its 4:30 at the time i have joined this so im dead braincell wise sorry yall))) and Orange is stuff we decided together :3

Also this is so very chaotic im so sorry for this anon but this has been in my fuckin drafts for SO LONG and this is the only way its getting finished (its now 5 am uwu) im so sorry for all the shitposting i do its a mess. I shouldnt have been allowed here. (we finished at about 5:30 am its hell <3)

Sphost? Ghencer?? Sphoster??? I adore and despise them all equally.

We have decided that it should be BeanieGhost

Anyway I think this ship is really cute

They’re both so neurotic I can only imagine the chaos that would ensue

One of them starts a rant on some topic and the other joins the hell in

I’m an advocate of LETTING SPENCER INFO DUMP BECAUSE HE DESERVES IT OKAY

And Ghost would let this dream come true???

I would die for both of them and if Spencer told me I had to die I wouldn’t even complain, no questions I’d just be like “Aight.” I trust him that much.

(Not sure I trust Ghost’s judgment enough to do that unquestioningly; sorry Ghost)

Back on topic

I can’t imagine these guys on anything that comes close to society’s definition of a date

It’d be more like “hey you wanna come on this hunt with us?” “maybe, depends if there’ll be snacks” or like chilling in Spence’s room binging the entire star trek: original series in one sitting or “oops sorry about that level 11 entity that attached to my soul and is now wreaking havoc in your house, wanna make out later to make up for it?” “Fine but you also have to play three rounds of Call of Duty with me afterward”

They wouldn’t be romantic often but like highkey? I can see them throwing themselves into the line of fire for each other with a recklessness only they could survive

We can’t forget that Spencer is a more than 60,000-year-old overpowered demon/god/entity/thing, which, yes, could throw a slight wrench in this ship for multiple reasons, but I choose to make angst out of it instead.

Side note: Ghost is a chronic conspiracy theorist (and you can’t tell me otherwise) and every once in awhile Spencer will offhandedly say something like “Y’know I helped the Egyptians build the pyramids” and Ghost just goes fucking feral.

Look, I’m not saying Spencer IS touch-starved and most likely has issues creating and developing relationships and therefore avoids interpersonal connection, especially offline, but I AM saying he is prime material for it. (thats a lie thats exactly what shes saying don’t believe it) (I’m projecting okay dont judge me) (loser imagine projecting)

Imagine with me for a second: Why does Spencer willingly stay with a family who locks him in their basement with only minor complaining? He’s a near all-powerful entity just released into the world for Spence’s-sake - If he wanted to, there’s no telling what havoc he could wreak! So why doesn’t he? Why would someone so powerful, so terrifying, so dangerous that a group of people decided to seal him away forever stay with the first family he finds in sub-par conditions for years - especially someone who’s seen to be as high-maintenance as Spencer? Let me hit you with a theory: He’s chasing the feelings of validation, safety, and love - no matter how rarely it’s shown - that a family can provide. Being socially isolated for even a few years can do a number to a person’s psyche (I should know, I’m projecting onto this character right now), let alone thousands.

Now maybe Ghost can’t match thousands of years in isolation, but damn if he doesn’t have a few years of crippling loneliness on his record too.

I can see the two of them learning how to be vulnerable around others together, emotionally and physically; learning how to open up and how to talk through issues; and some third point, because points are better in threes.

(May I suggest that these losers are both trans but thats just me adding in my own projection lmao)

(You absolutely may)

Imagine the conversation thats just “so i have a murderer in my head thats an ass” “rip to u ig sounds like a you problem :///”

imo spence has trouble expressing emotions other than like,,, annoyance and haughtiness, its like sort of his go-to defence, so showing Ghost his emotions is a big step for him

I hear you, and i say yes good. (found this one headcanon that i kinda live by where he was uh, either autistic or adhd i dont remember but theres that too) OH yeah that would be at thing huh. Spencer: *is emotionally vulnerable @ ghost* ghost: oh shit im trusted??? Oh fuck uh.

Yeah so like…. Ghost and spence showing emotion at eachother is kind of :flushed: ghost be like: whats an emotion. Imagine having emotions fuciiing loser hhaha,,,, *laughs nervously*

Ghost is also very emotionally distant with most people so it would probably be like “what??? The fuck?? Emotions?????? You have those???”

Ghost and Spencer be like *gay*

So another idea is that maybe Spencer realizes Ghost doesnt play any games [like the uncultured SWINE he is] and decides he must [remedy] this and so he introduces him to like, nintendo first. (some bitches thought that said nintendo fortnite. Im bitches) and theyre playing like, mario kart or smash or smth and Ghost gets really [fuckin into it]

Ghost and spencer: *literally in eachothers laps playing fucking wii tennis*

Spooker: what are the- *TOAST FUCKING SLAPS A HAND ACROSS HIS MOUTH* shut up you dont wanna know what happens when its mentsonssbfdjfsd (sorry i had a stroke uwuwuwuw)

(Theyre in denial we don’t judge in this house)

They will not hesitate to play dirty either, they will straight up push each other over and vaguely flirt

Ghost is losing and straight up fucking goes “ur hot” and spencer actually dies and boom ghost is the winner. sparkle emoji Magic sparkle emoji

“I am Not a HomoSexual:™:” “Yeah, sure you aren’t” “Screw off”

Pet-names-ish: Asshole, Gaymer-Boy, casual insults, Mr. Spirit Bitch, Mistake, Loves Ghosts More Than His Boyfriend What A Fucking Loser aka Gay-ass

Pros:

They both open up a lot most likely. Gain someone to trust since they’ve sort of been through the same things (though on much different scales)

I can see soft hours of hanging in each other’s bedrooms

Spencer is a tsundere you cant tell me otherwise youre just a coward if you disagree

So is Ghost so this can only go well

Every time Ghost has to solve a case at the Acachallas Spence is just peaking out from his basement like “the fuck is this?? Hot Man??????”

Enemies to lovers 500k (Gets Hot and Steamy :flushed: NOT CLICKBAIT!!!!11!!!!! 18+!!!!!!! GAY LOVE StORY!!!!!!) Lemonz!!! Made from teh Sexiest of Wattpaders UWUWUWU YAOI Boys Love don’t like don’t read!! (this is so fucking stupid jkfnd) I hate this with a passion Q^Q. All my years of being a basic watpad fanboy have helped me to the moment i bring maddie to tears

The steam is just like,,,,, holding hands and being angy all the fuckin time the steam is literal because their anger translates into actual steam

Cons:

Their angst has nowhere to go and it just sits between them like two raccoons at a dumpster-style mexican standoff

They really start off hating each other huh. Like, I know this can still lead to healthy relationships but neither of them are very good at healthy relationships with people he hasn’t known for his Whole Life so that’s an Oh No.

They totally feed off of each other’s stupidity (but this could be seen as a pro too so take that as you will) as well as anger - im talking one-upping each other kinda shit

Its ridiculous honestly how intense it gets, like they straight up need intervention sometimes because they dont realize they can just STOP

Conclusions:

I think this would be a relationship that would that a lot of time and hard work to make work, but i think in the end it would be really super cute!! Like it would make no fuckin sense to anyone else but somehow they’d understand each other and help each other through their similar issues. Also theyre both big nerds in different ways and i think they’d have just ranting sessions back and forth over and over and it would be soft!!!!! So yeah, i think it would work, at least, i want it to :D

So. Maybe?? I feel like it could, but they’d need to work pretty hard to make it healthy and not constant fighting. Could be stupid amounts of cute and wholesome but also could be stupid amounts of oh no and pain, depending on how the two act. If they learned how to get along with each other and work past their differences it could be super cute and soft. Just a very, er, bumpy beginning. And middle. And end. (this makes me very nervous,,,,why did you mention an end) (wouldnt you like to know weather boy) (TvT) UFDUNS bumpy but soft . Agreeing with the loser gay, want this to work it’d be interesting :3

[paradise-creator]

OwO when u have time,, can I have a haven box for BNHA?? But just when you’re free and not working on prior works!! >:( I’m watching u bish

You can use my name in the result if you want to lol I already know it anyway!!

She/her, Taurus, INTJ, slytherin (pretty freakin’ queer but I usually lean towards boys/enbies more)

Personality: the first thing people notice about me is that I am less of a feeler and more of a thinker. I do have an IQ of 125, but my emotional intelligence is quite low, so I have trouble sympathizing with others. But I learned through experience, so I don’t SEEM emotionless. I can (and will) help my friends through tough times if they need me. I’m pragmatic, so I always go for the facts instead of the feelings during decision making or tough situations. I hold a lot of perfectionist traits that make it really hard for me to be satisfied with my results if they aren’t higher than the norm. I also have a slight issue with saying no, so sometimes I’ll offer my help or enrol myself in long-term projects while knowing I legit do not have time for more stuff on my schedule. Being a bit smarter than average, I sometimes feel like I’m obligated to help others so that they can do good too (however, I do like helping people with their hw to a certain extent). I’m working on those issues though!! I’m also an introvert, and I can get rlly tired if I have to be interacting for more than four hours straight with people, especially if their persona isn’t rlly compatible with mine.

However, when I’m surrounded by friends (or generally people who aren’t my superiors), I’m very energetic, loud, silly and I have a sharp tongue. I’m also insanely competitive, like someone please stop me?? My sense of humour goes from absolute nonsense to almost mean spirited sarcasm, but it all depends on who I’m talking to. I’m a MAJOR memer, I have a bunch of files filled with them, and I couldn’t bear be with people who didn’t understand my meme references. When I start liking something, I can get easily obsessed. I’m stubborn, therefore very passionate about the things I care about. I also have a slight case of the Endorphin Junkie, meaning that I really, really like the high you get after sports so I do crossfit training like five to six times a week. I’m unapologetically myself, and I will not ever change who I am to fit within the norm. I’m sometimes told that (that I’m odd, I mean), but I usually thank the people who tell me. I have a really, really big love for music and I have a tendency to break into song sometimes when people say a line from a song I know. I also cry sometimes when music gets really good ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ whoops

Appearance: I’m around 5’6”, with hazel eyes and brown hair that goes around to my shoulders. It gets curly out of nowhere. I can either wake up with straight hair or wake up with a freakin perm, it’s funny. My body isn’t exactly the lean type, I’m somewhere around the buff area of the scale instead, but as long as I seem visibly strong, I’m satisfied. When I’m not going anywhere significant, I usually just wear sport shirts and sweats, but I have a penchant for Dark Academia so I like /looking/ like I’m smart sometimes. And I have glasses bc apparently my eyes are assholes and they work too hard and it hurts my brain all the time

Likes: music (DavidBowieDavidBowieDavidBow-); I have a really wide range of music that goes from early 2000’s pop to 1700’s requiems(my faves are Bowie, Queen and Pink Floyd). I enjoy studying theoretical fields, reading, and I like talking about Absurd Theories About Reality That Make Little To No Sense. I like sports, and I love joking around with friends in the most exaggerated ways. I also love the colour green and I’m more of a cat person

Dislikes: dogs (they’re cute but keep them away pls), ignorant people, irresponsible people, spiders, things I’m not good at from the beginning, having to deal with strangers being upset, crying (me. I don’t like crying; I mean me, I’m fine if my friends cry)

Other fun facts!!

- my goals for the future are all over the place; I want to work for Disney, I want to get a musical composition degree, I want a biomedical engineering bachelors degree, I want an astrophysics doctorate, I want to study languages, I want to be a foreign English teacher... I can’t ever decide.

- I have a long history with getting crushes on guys who turned out to be gay. It happens so often and I HATE IT, it makes me feel terrible.

- I!!love!!70’s!!music!!so!!much!! I was raised on that stuff, my dad wouldn’t let us listen to anything else

- Lol my favourite playlist name is Drugs Playlist But I Don’t Even Do Drugs it’s just a bunch of Pink Floyd and David Bowie songs

- My favourite movies are 80’s or 90’s comedy classics!! Like Wayne’s World, or Airplane!, or Night at the Roxbury. I keep quoting Wayne’s World and no one understands :(

↬ ──:.⃗➹ +.*༉‧ᵕ̈°`*↷. ೃ₊✎⸙͎˚- ̗̀✧: ──↫

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Hello and Welcome my Starlight!

The Haven box includes:

- Match up

- Sun drop

- Flashes of memory

- Truth or dare gone wrong

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

I'd match you up with

Sero Hanata, Cellophane

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Sun drops

The reasons I paired you

- It me awhile to think about who to match you up with

- I was thinking of either Bakugou or Denki

- BUT THEN I REMEMBERED SERO

- Sero is such an underrated character smh

- BUT THIS DYNAMIC IS WHAT I LIVE FOR

-At first, you might be annoyed at his lack of knowledge but you over past that

- His EQ can help you grow as a person as well

- You have the IQ he has the EQ, BALANCE!

- You two would often have laughing sessions at class

- No cap tho, you two would be the most interesting couple

- You guys would have a matching necklace or a Keychain (IDK why but I feel like it-)

- You get along well with Denki, (IT TOOK A LONG TIME)

- But you would rather hang out with Bakugou (He tolerates you more than the others).

- BRO, please give him love. He craves your attention

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Flashes of memories

Sero: Hello there hot stuff!

Eve: Hello there Soy sauce

Sero: NOT YOU TOO

Eve: Just kidding, Hello babe

Sero: ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?

Eve: Yes, killing you with love

Sero: Dang that's smooth

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Sero: He-

Eve: I didn't take your Pocky, Denki did

Sero: How-

Eve: You've been yelling about it for the past few minutes

Sero: Oh-

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Sero: Can you help me with studying?

Eve: Struggling again?

Sero: Yes...

Eve: Why did I date you again?

Sero: Please?

Eve: ...

Also Eve: Fine

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Truth or dare gone wrong

The class 1-A were all gathered in their common room, even Bakugou was present. The class was having a truth or dare session, it seemed interesting. “Sero, my man! Truth or dare?” Denki asked as he looked at Sero. “Truth! I choose truth,” Sero said. “Who have you been talking on the phone to this past weeks? The one I keep hearing is my pumpkin?” Denki asked. Sero’s face then turned a light shade of pink. “O-Oh- ummm,” He started as he looked away. “Does our Cellophane have a girlfriend?” Mina teased as she poked Sero. “Y-Yeah,” He stuttered. “OI THAT’S NOT FAIR?!? WHY CAN YOU HAVE A GIRL BUT I CAN’T,” Denki sulked as he placed his head on the table. “If you weren’t such a perv then maybe you can get one!” Hakagure responded.

“Don’t be shy. Tell us more,” Mina said. Sero’s blush darkened and he looked away. “We are playing truth or dare! It’s my turn to ask,” Sero then said. “Actually, I am quite curious as well. We can always continue later,” Momo said as she smiled. Everyone agreed and they then looked at the nervous male. “C’mon now guys, this is unfair,” Sero said as he looked at everyone. “But you have a girl and we want tea,” Mina then said as she sat in front of him. “I- um, you guys really want to know about her, huh?” Sero said as he chuckled. Everyone nodded and stared at Sero intently. “Just tell us already, Soy sauce,” Bakugou growled as he glared at Sero. “Don’t listen to him, bro. He is just jealous,” Kirishima said. “WHAT-“ Bakugou was about to counter but was silenced. “Fine! Fine! You got me in a corner,” Sero then said as he chuckled. “She should be coming here,” He added as he looked at the door. “Three, two, one,” He then said as he pointed to the door.

“Hello, is Sero Hanta here?”A feminine voice said. “ARE YOU A PSYCHIC?” Denki said as he looked surprised. “I’m right here pumpkin!” Sero then said as he smirked. His nervousness melted away as he saw the 5’6ft girl. It was his girlfriend, Eve, and he was overjoyed. “Hey there babe!” She then said as she smiled. “DANG YOU GOT A FINE LADY!” Denki then yelled as he checked her out. “Keep your eyes above for I’ll gorge them out,” Eve then said as she glared at Denki. Soon enough, Mineta tried to touch her as well but his efforts were at vain. Sero used his tape as to stop Mineta from getting closer. And Eve kicked him away, far away from her. “Get your filthy hands away from her,” Sero said as he stood up. He then wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead. “Woah, that was so manly!” Kirishima said as he smiled.

“GIRLS! GET HER-“ Mina said as she tackled the girl. They didn’t fall down but Mina was laughing and hugging her. “Girl! How long have you been together?” Mina asked as she pulled away. Eve was a bit uncomfortable but she merely had a stoic face. “A few weeks,” She responded bluntly. And soon enough, the truth or dare session was forgotten. It was replace with the class 1-A trying to pry out the tea from the couple. Did they succeed? No, not really. Though the class seemed to love Eve and her antics. The class even tried to make them forget about the date they have planned. But either way, Sero and Eve got manage to get away to have their small movie date at his room.

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Author's note

Hai bb! I'm sorry it took so long. But thanks for requesting again~

[theartoflovingthomashunt]

HWU101: A Transfer

Masterlists: [Hollywood U] || [Red Carpet Diaries]  || [Baby Hunt]  || [Love & Scotch HWU/OH]  ||  [#HollywoodHacks HWU/LH]

Characters: Alex, Thomas Hunt, Addison Sinclair, Holly Chang, Mike Tanner, Ben Park (#LoveHacks)

Series Background: This takes place in my current Hollywood U AU a couple of years before Love & Scotch. It also is set before the #LoveHacks Choices series. 

Hunt and Alex are dating openly. He had his tenure stripped and they are both on probation, but they are in the clear. With the success of Permanent Wound and the press from outing Richard Sheridan and The Silver Circle, Alex is in high demand. She wants to produce her first movie and Hunt has agreed to direct (coming out of retirement). Now if only they can agree on it!

(This starts off with the canon storyline of them moving forward with Centaurus Lost, but it falls apart at the start of this and moves on with an original story.)

Chapter Synopsis: Hunt agreed to come out of retirement to direct Alex’s first solo-produced film, Centaurus Lost, but the production is going anything but smoothly. Will things change with the arrival of new student, Ben Park?

☆  ☆   ☆   ☆   ☆

 “Cut!” Hunt shouted. His fingers dug through his hair as he turned away trying to gather his thoughts. “Get out! All of you! OUT!”

 “Professor?” Addison questioned, looking up from one of the actors, whose costume she was adjusting. “We still have two more scenes to shoot today.”

“Leave! That includes you, Miss Sinclair. I know how you feel about following directions, but just this once do as you’re told,” Hunt grumbled. “Everyone out! This isn’t working. I need to think.”

“Let’s wrap for today,” Alex stepped forward attempting to calm the cast and crew of Centaurus Lost. “Get some rest and be back tomorrow ready to pick up where we left off.” 

“It’s okay,” Alex continued, noting the looks of uncertainty on the faces of those around her. “Go! Enjoy the beautiful afternoon.”

Alex helped the crew clean up and put the equipment away for the day, her gaze shifting to Hunt. He continued pacing off to the side, deep in thought.

 “Hey.” Alex ran her fingers up Hunt’s back, once everyone else had left. “Tell me what’s going on.”

 Hunt shifted away, Alex’s hand falling beside her.

 “This film isn’t working.” Hunt’s scratched his jaw thoughtfully. “Miss Chang and Mr. Tanner did not stop bickering about the script all day. Every time we went to shoot a scene, one or both of them, decided there should be changes. They both have some ideas of merit, but right now, they’re hurting this film far more than helping it.”

 “Thomas,” Alex breathed. She attempted to move closer, but he avoided her once more.

“I walked away from directing once because studios fed me uninspired projects. I refuse to compromise my artistry or ethics,” Hunt ranted, his gaze stern and unrelenting. “As I said, the project has to be right for me and this one isn’t working.”

“Let’s just talk about this,” Alex suggested.

“I know how much you wanted this to work… You’re the producer, find some way to fix this!” Hunt paused for a moment before continuing. “Or... I’m leaving this production.”

Alex felt her eyes misting at his tone. “Fine!”

“Alex,” his voice was softer now at the hurt in her eyes. He moved closer.

She shook him away. “Compartmentalize. I know.”

He nodded. “Go fix this. Convince me why I should take a chance on this film when so many facets of it are falling apart already.”

Alex turned and walked away. She didn’t dare look back. The past few days had been a strain between them. Even if they had agreed not to bring work home, it was hard to turn her feelings on and off. It was one thing when she was just balancing Professor Hunt, with boyfriend Hunt, now she also had business partner and director Hunt to keep separate.

 She knew before she could fix the film, she had to save the screenplay. 

Alex texted Holly and Mike. “Campus Brew. 30 minutes. This is not an option. Be there or you’re out.”

“Nice try, sweetheart. You can’t make my movie without me,” Mike replied.

“Whose movie?” Holly answered. “I believe I’m the lead writer. My name is first on the script.”

“Relax, Pixie Dream Girl. No use getting mad and looking all hot when I’m not there to see,” Mike argued.

“ENOUGH! Act like professionals. Show up for this meeting. Or breach your contracts and be out. I’m serious.”

No wonder this film was sinking. These two were never going to play nice, which is why she had chosen a public venue for their meeting, at least that would force them to keep it together to some extent. (She hoped.)

Alex stormed into the coffee shop, barely looking up from her phone as she followed the heated text exchange from her screenwriters. At this point, nothing short of an epiphany would save the film and she knew it. Hunt was right. 

“Ahh!” A deep voice startled her as she bumped into someone, scattering their books and papers all over. 

“I’m so sorry! I wasn’t even looking.” Alex quickly apologized. “This is all my fault.”

“It’s okay, Jesse Quick,” He chuckled more to himself than anything else. He adjusted his glasses.

“I’m not sure who Jesse is?” She looked at him curiously. “I’m Alex!”

“She’s just..." He paused, noting how Alex’s red shirt hugged her petite figure and the way her brown hair appeared windblown from seemingly rushing off, perhaps to save Central City. His mind had already begun sketching her before he could stop it. Everywhere he looked he saw inspiration. He quickly shook the thoughts from his head as he noted the change in her expression. "You just kind of remind me of a character from one of my favorite shows.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” She smiled softly. 

“You should! She’s great.” He bent down to pick up his fallen papers. 

“These are amazing,” Alex marveled as she helped collect his scattered sketches. “You’re very talented… I don’t think I ever got your name.” 

“I’m Ben, Ben Park,” he repositioned his books and sketches in his arm so he could shake her hand. 

“Nice to meet you, Ben. I don’t think I’ve seen you around campus before,” she noted. She would definitely remember a face like that. 

“It’s actually my first day,” Ben admitted. “I just transferred from Grantmore University.” 

“In that case, can I buy you something to drink? It’s the least I can do for running into you,” Alex suggested. 

“You don’t have to do that,” he replied. 

“I want to,” Alex insisted. “I can offer you some tips about classes and any professors you may have–if you’re interested and have a few minutes.”

“I don’t want to intrude, you look like you have a lot going on,” he smiled shyly. 

“I’ve got a few minutes before my meeting. You’d actually be doing me a favor, keep me busy until then?” 

“Okay,” he agreed. 

“Great! So tell me more about yourself, Ben. What are you studying? Please tell me you’re here as a graphic artist, because if not you need to change majors ASAPs,” Alex laughed, she didn’t mean to come off so insistent, but she meant what she said. She ordered coffee for the two of them. 

“I am.” Ben blushed at the compliment. “I’m also looking into the writing program.”

“Oh, do you want to be a screenwriter?” Alex questioned. “I’m actually meeting with two screenwriters in a bit if you want to meet them.” 

Alex hesitated after she made the suggestion. Perhaps Holly and Mike were not the best exemplars of the program… at least, not at the moment. 

“I’m more interested in writing a graphic novel.” His fingers grazed a sketchbook, that he held tightly. “I’ve written drafts of a few ideas, but…”

“Do you mind if I take a look?” Alex asked cautiously. She knew how temperamental some writers could be about their unfinished work. 

“They’re probably not good,” he shook his head, considering her request. 

“You got to start somewhere, right?” Alex offered.

Ben reluctantly handed her his sketchbook containing his draft of an outer space superhero adventure. 

Alex leaned back in the armchair in the coffee shop and began flipping through his draft. Page after page, her expression changed as the story hit highs and lows. She followed the characters through joyful, devastating, and humorous moments. “This is really good, Ben.”

“You don’t have to say that,” he took his sketchbook back. 

“I mean it. It’s really good! You should definitely look into the writing program. Clearly you have a talent for it too!” She encouraged him. 

Alex and Ben continued drinking their coffees while Alex waited for Holly and Mike to arrive. Her mind had lightened with seeing the joy in his eyes as they talked about his creations, it was a lovely sight. One she had almost forgotten about while on the set of Centaurus Lost. No, it wasn’t just joy, it was passion. Passion for his creations, that’s what was missing on set. She just needed to figure out how to inspire Holly and Mike to that level of creative passion. If the screenplay had heart, the rest of everything would fall into place.

☆  ☆   ☆   ☆   ☆

Perma tags: @lilyofchoices ; @simplymissjulia ; @mfackenthal ; @the-soot-sprite ; @virtuallytakenby ; @zeniamiii ; @kaavyaethanramsey; @choicesobsessed; @xjustin-ethansgirliex

Thomas Tags: @alleksa16  ;    @flyawayboo    ;  @alj4890  ;  @twin-skltns   ;    @ab1901 ;   @riseandshinelittleblossom  ; @hopelessromantic1352  ;   @thearianam  ; @trappedinfandoms; @zodiacsign1 ; @curiouslittlefreak ; @sharrybh20​ ; @awkwardambition ; @jodibo ;

[yeols-baekhoes]

Picnic With Kim Namjoon

Rated: F for fluff, DJ for daddy Joon

Picture this: A/U where Namjoon— who has been noticeably distant the last few days— has a surprise for you. A big one.

Graphics:

(baby)

****************•********************•*****************

"Hey, baby?" Came the soft, deep voice from the other side of the wooden door, a knock almost as soft as the man's voice following.

You remain quiet, not only because speaking up had proven to only make your already sore throat even worse, but because at that moment you were avoiding your significant other so that an argument wouldn't occur.

You had been sick for what felt like a century, but really was about a week and a half. Your throat felt like sandpaper, your head had been scalding the past week and your nose stuffed and runny. You knew you were getting better, though, when you woke up this morning sans the fever and runny nose. It felt heavenly after so long of not being able to breathe through your nose properly.

Even though you lived twenty minutes away, you had found yourself taking shelter in Joon's apartment as your parents had left for another work trip.

You usually enjoyed being in Namjoon's company. Ever since you met him almost a decade ago, his friendship had always been your source of comfort when your broken family proved to be otherwise.

It was only until four years back that you had both decided to act on the hidden feelings that had been bottled for years.

But recently, the past few weeks had been strange. Namjoon, always the busy bee, had been extremely distant. It was out of character for him. Yes, he was busy with his projects, but you always understood him. Understood the late nights, the days where he couldn't text you as frequently as he always did. He was chasing his dreams, working damn hard for them, at that. But, he always made sure to at least check in with you so you were aware he was okay. He would still sit with you, gently massaging your aching feet from work, even if it was for a couple of minutes before he ran off. There was always a few minutes of conversation where you would watch as his beautiful eyes lit up and his dimples deepened when he talked about his day or when he watched you speak about yours.

You weren't mad. You could never be mad at your Joon, not when he was finally getting to do everything he had talked about when you were both younger. The things he would smile about as you both sat on the low branch of the tree you both expertly climbed as children. What kind of girlfriend, what kind of best friend, would you be if you did get angry at that?

But your sickness had left you feeling like a child in need of comfort, and you couldn't help but feel upset about how visibly distant Namjoon had been. It was as if he was hiding something from you. It hurt that he wasn't fully trusting you.

When he noticed that you weren't going to respond, the door opened and Namjoon walked in. You looked up from your bag of clothes, looking up at your boyfriend.

"What Namjoon?" You ask, looking away. He knew what he was doing. Coming in here looking like he did, his lips slightly pursed so that his dimples would deepen. He was wearing a simple outfit, a black and white striped t-shirt, blue jeans, and his favorite pair of black high tops.

"I know you're mad at me, but there's no need for that or for you to be packing your clothes." He states. He hated when you called him by his full name when angry. He loved all the nicknames and pet names you had come up with.

You shrug, "I'm not mad at you and I'm taking these home to do laundry."

You hear him sigh and walk closer to you. You feel his arms snake around you, bringing you closer to his front. He knew you loved when he hugged you from behind. It made you smile faintly as his arms tightened around your belly.

"Don't be mad, honey." He whispers softly, his breath fanning across your neck as he brings his body down to reach your neck, where he places a soft kiss.

"You're going to get sick, Nam-" You start, trying to move out of his warm hold. You were annoyed with him, but that didn't mean you wanted him to catch whatever bug it was that you had. Of course he cuts you off, pulling you right back to him.

"I don't care." He turns you around in his arms, looking down at you.

"I do." You say, secretly enjoying how he held you.

He shrugs and chuckles, "Too bad. I want to hold my girlfriend."

You scrunch you're nose as you feel your argument crumble in your mind as he leaves a trail of soft kisses down your neck.

"Listen, I'm sorry. I know I have been distant the past few weeks. I've been dealing with some things and questioning others. I didn't realize until last night that I was distancing myself from you. That's something I never want to do. I'm sorry I made you feel like this." He says, as he looks up again, his big hands cradling your face.

You sigh looking at him. You knew he was sincere. That was something he never lacked. It was so clear in his dark eyes as he looked at you.

"It's okay, Joon. I just want you to remember that I'm here for you, okay? Just tell me whenever you're stressed out instead of pushing me away. That way I can at least try to help you and you won't be going through it alone." You respond, giving in. You touched his cheek softly, caressing the soft skin.

"I know. There's just something I've been thinking about. But I figured it out. So..." He trails off, kissing your cheek.

You giggle, "So?"

"Am I forgiven? Can we cuddle now without you wanting to slap me away?" He jokes, picking you up, his hands under your bottom.

You laugh, your arms wrapping around his neck as he carries you to the bed, nuzzling into your neck the way he did after a long day. He gently places you down, coming down with you but stopping when he was a few inches away from your face. His strong arms were at each side of your face, caging you in.

"Hey there, gorgeous." He says sweetly, making you smile. His minty breath fanned across your upper lip as he looked down at them when the corners lifted.

"Hi, handsome." You whisper, looking at his full lips. Joon's smile was the first thing you had fallen in love with.

"I really want to kiss you right now." He whispers to you, his mouth centimeters away from yours. You close your eyes as you feel him nearing, his intoxicating cologne clouding your senses, one of his hands sweetly placed on your cheek.

You hum as his mouth goes to your collarbone, lightly biting at the skin before lightly running his tongue across it. "Namjoon, you're going to get sick." You mumble as a light moan escapes.

"I don't care." He states again. As his face nears, you close your eyes, reveling in the feeling of his full, soft lips on yours. Warmth spreads through your entire body as he deepens the kiss. His hand holds your chin as his lips continue to dance with yours. Every time Namjoon kissed you, it felt like the world was stopping around the both of you, but at the same time it felt as if everything was ablaze. The passion you both shared almost inconceivable.

You open your eyes as he pulls back, both your breathing shallow. He smiles and looks down at you, the love you both felt for each other clear in his eyes.

He pecks you once and then twice as his hands come up to tickle your sides. You let out a screaming laugh as his nimble fingers continue their attack on your sides.

"I hate you." You laugh as he chuckles at your discomfort.

"No you don't. You love me." He says, falling onto the space next to you.

You turn to rest your head on his hard chest, "Sometimes." You joke. He chuckles and brings you closer to place a kiss on your hair.

"I have a surprise for you tomorrow. I've been planning it on and off for the last few weeks." He says simply, kicking off his shoes. You get up partly, resting your head on your hands that were on top of his chest. You look down at him, his eyes closed, his face peaceful.

"What surprise?" You ask, tracing the lines of his face. Your lips still stung with the electrifying sweetness of your kiss.

He chuckles, the dimples you love appearing. "It's called a surprise for a reason. It comes from the Medieval Latin word 'superprehendere' or seize; Where it was then translated to the Old French word 'surprendre'."

You rolled your eyes and smiled down at him, he enjoyed sharing his encyclopedic knowledge with you. You loved when he did so. Your boyfriend was truly a man of endless knowledge. Learning came easy to him, he craved it.

"You're not going to tell me, are you?" You ask, already knowing the answer.

He shakes his head and pulls you back down to rest on his chest. His hand went to your hair, carefully running his hand through.

His steady heartbeat lulls you, and before you know it, both of you are fast asleep.

••

"Joon, can you at least tell me where we're going so I know how to dress." You tell Namjoon who was currently finishing his shower. You had woken up feeling so much better, the pain the sore throat had caused had lessened exponentially. You dared to say it had disappeared overnight.

You were sitting on the toilet with a towel wrapped around yourself, you had just finished showering and washing your hair.

"I'm not telling you what it is until we get there and you see for yourself." He answers. You could practically feel him smiling through the shower curtain. He was really enjoying this whole keeping it a surprise thing.

"Dress warmly, too. Its just us. Think of it as a casual day out." He adds.

You sigh but get up to get ready, nonetheless. You couldn't help but be excited, though. It had been a few weeks since both of you had a night out. Both of your work got in the way a lot of the times, but of course most days you both slept in the same bed. You didn't mind missing a few date nights, as long as you got to fall asleep in Namjoon's arms at night, got to hear his heartbeat as you slowly fall asleep.

You take a few minutes to get ready in where you pick out a big, fluffy, burgundy sweater and some dark ripped jeans. You finish it off with a pair of black boots. You lightly spray your wrists and neck with the perfume Joon got you as one of your Valentine's Day presents last year. He said it was his favorite scent and it reminded him of you when you were away from each other.

Namjoon comes in minutes after wearing a white woolen turtleneck, black jeans, and his favorite boots. It was a chilly day out, but it would only get chillier as it got later.

You blatantly stare at him as the same feeling you get when he kisses you starts at the pit of your stomach.

"You look so beautiful, baby." He beats you to it, coming to your side. He grabs your hand and makes you do a spin.

It didn't matter if all you had on was a pair of sweats and an old t-shirt with holes in it, or if your hair was all over the place after a night in bed with Joon. He always called you beautiful.

You laugh as he spins, "I was going to say the same thing about you. You clean up nicely, handsome." His hands rest low on your waist as he looks down at you, a bright smile on his lips.

"Stop it." He says bashfully. Even after so many years of knowing him, and four years of being in a relationship, Joon always blushed beet red when you complimented him.

"You're so cute." You giggle, lifting slightly on your toes to kiss his warm, blushing cheek. You had missed doing so.

"So, where are we going?" You say nonchalantly, kissing the exposed skin of his neck. Namjoon softly groans in your ears as you leave a trail of kisses up to his sharp jaw.

"You almost got me there. But good try. Like I said, I'm not telling you until we get there and you see for yourself." He answers, pulling slightly away.

You pout as your impromptu plan to get him to tell you where you were going, fails. He laughs and pecks your bottom lip.

"Don't pout, baby. Come on, I already put everything in the trunk of the car so you won't be able to see anything." He says, grabbing your purse from the ottoman at the foot of the bed and handing it to you.

"Okay, lets go." You say as you notice how excited he was. You decide to stop pestering him and just 'go with the flow' because you just loved that excitement in his eyes, the twinkle of it in his gaze.

You wait next to Namjoon as he locks up the apartment, holding your hand and leading you down the hall when he did so.

"I can't wait until we get there. I hope you like it." He says excitedly. You laugh admiringly at his excitement, "I'm sure whatever it is, I'll genuinely love." You tell him, slightly swinging your hands back and forth as you wait for the elevator to reach your floor.

"I hope so." He answers as he brings your hand up to kiss it.

When you are both seated in Namjoon's car a few minutes later, seatbelts buckled- he never started the car unless everyone had theirs on— is when Joon speaks.

"Road trip." He says, wiggling his eyebrows, looking at you as he turns on the radio and connects his phone to the Bluetooth. You look at him, feeling the excitement bubble in you. You finally were going to spend some needed time with him. No work to worry about, just the two of you.

You smile at him as he grabs your hand, placing it on his lap as he drove with the other.

Even though it was chilly out, the day was beautiful. All blue skies with a few scattered clouds. There was a comfortable silence in the car as a song played on the radio. It was something about your relationship you appreciated. That there could be absolute silence and neither of you felt the need to disrupt it because it was so peaceful and both of you were comfortable to just sit in each other's presence.

The thing about being Namjoon's girlfriend was that even in completely silence, he would unknowingly do little things to show he was attentive to you. The way he caressed your hand, the way he'd harmonize whatever you were disastrously singing along to, the way he'd look at you or lean over to kiss your cheek at a stop sign or light.

You sighed happily, softly rubbing your thumb on Namjoon's, feeling the chilly but soothing wind come in through the opened windows and playing with your hair, 'Frequency' by Jhené Aiko filling the car.

You went through her entire new album 'Chilombo', before you spoke up. "It's beautiful out here." You say. You had never traveled this way before, there was no need to. A while ago, wooden areas had covered both sides of the highway, deep rooted trees that had been there longer than you could imagine. All greens, oranges, and reds. But now, the woods had broken and you were driving in between green hills, a big orange and grey flat top rock in the distance.

"I knew you would like it. Me and the guys found this area a month ago. Remember when we went camping?" He asked, quickly looking at you.

You hum, remembering the very eventful camping trip the boys- Joon's best friends- and Joon had talked about for weeks after they had gotten home.

"Well, I told you we got kind of lost. But it was more like incredibly lost. You know how Yoongi and Hoseok get when they're together. Everyone was super distracted so we ended up around here and just decided to camp in the area." He explained, tapping his long fingers on the steering wheel as the car went around a bend.

Every time the boys were together, it was as if the world was ending and it was their last time together. Especially when they started their 'crackhead' behavior, as everyone whoever met them described. You had been with them for years so you had come to get used to their energy, even look forward to it.

You shake your head and laugh, imagining just how distracted they were with Yoongi, Hoseok, and Teahyung probably screaming the whole way, Jimin and Jungkook teasing each other, and Jin and Joon unintentionally acting like they were in a marriage and fathers to the rest of the group.

"We're almost there by the way." He says smiling. "It's just a little ways down."

You smile excitedly, looking around to see if you saw anything that would help you decipher where you were going. But you couldn't see anything but luscious hills and rocks and sky.

You wait until he starts slowing down the car, parking it on the side of the road in front of a hill with a pathway leading up into a wooded area.

"Oh, I see what's going on. You're going to kill me and dump my body." You say jokingly, unbuckling your seatbelt.

He looks at you, his face completely serious, "How did you know?" Your smile falters a bit before he laughs at the same time you do.

"Haha, good one." You say blandly, shoving his shoulder.

"Come on. I can't wait until you see this." He says, getting out and walking to the back of the car and opening the trunk. You follow behind.

"What are you getting out?" You ask, trying to look over his broad shoulders. You noticed him taking things out of a white cooler and into a brown picnic basket.

You realize what he was doing and stop, a warmness filling your chest. You remember a few months ago, you had been sitting in Joon's backyard watching a movie on the home made theatre Joon, the boys, and you had built days before with a white sheet and a projector, when you had expressed to him that you had never been to a picnic after he had asked you.

You couldn't imagine he had remembered something you thought had been an insignificant comment on your part.

"Oh, Joon. You remembered." You whisper.

He turns around and smiles, nodding down at you. You quickly close the space between the both of you, hugging him to your body. His warmth envelops you as he chuckles into your hair.

"Come on, I want you to see something." He says, grabbing hold of a thick blanket and putting it on top of the basket, the handles keeping it in place.

He grabs your hand and leads you to the path. It's a bit steep but you manage to both get up easily with each other's help. The area is slightly wooded and looks undisturbed except for the fresh feet prints on the path.

You walk for a few minutes, admiring the life around you. The blue sky peaks through the trees and birds call to each other, chase each other like lovers. You walk across a small bridge, a bustling stream under, splashing the wood of the bridge. You step over rocks and discarded tree limbs bigger than any you have ever seen. Then you came to a break in the trees. You couldn't see what was the through it, but you could see light and hear something that sounded very familiar. Like a big body of water crashing against rocks.

"Okay we're near, close your eyes and don't peek." He requested, taking back the blanket you had taken from him to help with the load.

You grin and close my eyes, opening one to see what he was doing. "No peeking." He quipped.

"Okay, okay. What if I fall?" You question, putting your left hand over your eyes as he take your right with his.

"I won't let you get hurt." He promises. Of course you knew that. Namjoon has kept you safe long before you even developed any romantic feelings for him. But it was fun to tease him a bit.

"Okay, there's a rock in front of you, just sidestep it. To your left." He informs you, slightly tugging you so you wouldn't trip.

"Good, baby." He says, a kiss landing on your cheek.

"Namjoon, I smell the sea." You say as soon as the salty smell of the ocean hits your nose. It was a smell you had loved since you were little. You loved the ocean, the sand. The feeling of being in another world altogether when you spent a day in the beach.

Your boyfriend hums beside you, "Do you now?"

You can almost taste the sea when Namjoon stops walking. "Okay. Wait, let me set everything up. Don't peek." He says before running off. You hear him stop a few yards away.

"Don't peek." He yells from his place. You laugh, "I promise I'm not peeking."

"I can't wait for you to see this. The guys and I discovered it and it reminded me of you." He says as you hear him shake the blanket.

"How did it remind you of me?" You ask genuinely, itching to remove your hand and open your eyes.

"You'll see." He answers a few seconds later, the rustling of plastic and containers being popped open reaching your ears.

"Okay, open them." You jump slightly as his voice comes from right next to you, closer than you thought he had been.

Namjoon grabs your hand as your eyes open and you blink away the blurriness. You gasp as you take on the view. You'd never seen something so beautiful in your entire life. It was almost as if your brain couldn't fully comprehend that what laid in front of you, was in fact real.

"It reminded me of how equally beautiful you are, if not more." He whispers your ear, placing a soft kiss there.

"Namjoon-I can't-" You stop speaking as your breath gets stuck in your throat. In front of you was the ocean at the bottom of a cliff. That was what you had heard crashing against rocks, what you had smelled. The blue sky met the water in the horizon, until you couldn't decipher which one was which. The sea was empty, no boat in sight. It looked peaceful. How was it that something that could be so destructive, also be so beautiful?

You were standing in a field just as alluring. It was full of tall flowers, little dandelions, lilies. It was a field of whites and golds and greens. You loved the way the weeds and wildflowers grew freely in the area. It truly seemed as if you were the only ones who had discovered it.

A few yards away, Joon had prepared and set the picnic. The white blanket with little black floral detailing was spread in the only flattened section of the field. It was surrounded by even more wildflowers. On top of the blanket was an assortment of food, two glass bottles of your favorite  drink and two wine cups. There was a small radio playing a soft song that matched the ambience.

It felt like you were in another world. A world far away from civilization, where Namjoon and you were the only ones.

"You like it?" Namjoon's deep voice meets your ears.

You look at him, your eyes wide, your mouth agape. "Like it, Namjoon? I love it. Thank you." You look at him and smile, watching his dimples rise as he smiles back.

"Come on." He says, leading you to the blanket.

It felt like for the next few hours you could do nothing besides eat, smile, laugh, or jokingly shove Namjoon. You were happy. So happy that you had almost completely forgotten that a few days ago he had been distant. You reminded yourself to ask him about it.

Namjoon had taken a break from reading to you his new adventure, a book called The Amazons: Lives & Legends of Warrior Women Across the Ancient World by Adrienne Mayor, your head resting on his lap fully immersed in what he had been reading, when you decided to ask.

"Joon?" You say, playing with a loose thread in his jeans. "Yes, babygirl?" He answers, his eyes closed as his head faced the sky.

You smile at his pet name. You would never let anyone but the man above you call you such names. You loved when it came from him.

"Yesterday you said had been questioning some things and that's why you were distant. What have you been questioning?" You ask. You feel him tense under you. It makes you sit up. A plethora of scenarios going through your head. What if something was wrong with him? What if he was questioning your relationship?

"I've been meaning to talk about this with you for a long time. Don't look like that baby, it's nothing bad." He says pulling you to his side.

"Come on, let's go for a bit of a walk." He adds, getting up and holding his hand out to pull you up.

You take his warm hand and walk where he was leading you. Closer to the sea.

(A/N: Play the next song now and listen to it as you imagine yourself sitting in the cliff from the fifth picture with Namjoon, the sea under you, the sky full of the colors that come with the sunset)

You walked across the field and closer to the edge where you both sat down looking over at the view. It was truly stunning. The ocean lapped peacefully at the rocks under you. The sun had begun to set a few minutes ago so the sky was bleached a harmony of pinks, blues, and oranges. Behind you both, the radio had started to play Instagram by Dean. You felt truly at peace. You had the person you loved most in the world next to you, sharing this magical moment with you.

You look next to you, hoping to see Namjoon as transfixed with the scene as you were. But he seemed tense, frightened even.

"What's wrong, Joon?" You ask him, caressing his cheek.

"We've been together for so long. You know my heart belonged to you from the moment I came back from Korea five years ago. But it belonged to you way before that, even when we were friends. Do you remember how my mom would say we were meant to meet, that it was our destiny?" He asked, turning his whole body to look at you.

You nod, there was something in the air, something that was telling you not to speak, to listen.

The time when Joon went to Korea for three years was the moment you realized that you didn't see him just as a best friend, the feelings that had been locked inside you wanted to do nothing but kiss Namjoon, make him happy, spend your days with him. You realized that your heart had left with him. Had been ripped out of your chest the moment you saw that plane take off. The moment you realized that it wasn't a vacation, that he was really staying oversees, your feelings became clear then. You loved Namjoon. You were in love with him, with everything about him.

When they were in the airport, Namjoon's mother had seen how distraught you both were. She was a spiritual woman who believed in spirits, auras, etc. She had told you both that your destinies were intertwined, starting when you both met, tied together, for all eternity. For some time Namjoon and you thought it was just a mother trying to console her child and a girl she had seen grow up.

"She was right. I can feel it. I know you can, too. I can see it in the way you look at me, the way you care for me. I can see it in your selfless actions, the way you support my dreams even though sometimes you can't see me for days. I feel it in the way I can't imagine myself with someone that isn't you. I can't imagine ever ending what we have, waking up to someone who isn't you or even sharing my bed with someone besides you. I can't see myself laughing with anyone else while they cook breakfast, I can't see myself reading my books to someone else. I can't imagine myself making love to anyone else. I can't see myself growing old with someone who isn't you, love.

But that's the thing. It's not just that I can't. I won't. I won't love anyone else as much as I love you. I won't spend the rest of my life with someone who isn't you. This decision was easy for me to make, I knew as soon as it came to my head that I was going to ask you. But I was scared. Then I noticed my fears were making me do the opposite of what I wanted to do and grow distant from you. But I'm sure now. This is what I want. What I need." He finishes. Your eyes water at the sincerity and raw emotion in his voice.

You understood everything he said because you felt the same way. When you thought of the future, Namjoon was always by your side. It didn't matter how far into the future it was- five years, ten, or twenty years- he was always there at your side, smiling with those dimples that you would never give up seeing.

"What-?" You mutter, wanting to ask him what he meant by all of this, already having a clue, already feeling the excitement and pure love surround your heart, but he cuts you off.

"Marry me, love." He continues, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a little, black velvet box. "Spend the rest of your life with me."

[altalksaboutstuff]

My Top 5 Games of the Past Generation Youtube Script Plus Notes

This is, more or less, the script for My Top 5 Games of the Past Generation video that I just published on Youtube: With the Xbox One and Playstation Four about to head out of the door to make ways for the Xbox Series X and the Playstation 5 respectively to lead us into the next generation of consoles were only Nintendo has been sitting comfortably with the Switch, the Wii U has been long gone and Nintendo also recently announced the official end of the Nintendo 3DS line cutting all the ties to this last generation.  With that almost everyone is now releasing their lists of the best games of the current generation, myself included, I couldn't help but notice a lot of same-soundy lists such as Game Informer's top 5 list.  I myself have to disagree with these, not to say that any and/or all five of those games on Game Informer's Top 5 aren't good, important or worth playing just that I don't think they are the best representative of this generation in terms of impact and wide appeal, so much as had the most money backing them. That these games on the list are more the best representative of the biggest Triple A titles.  The games that I had in mind are more impactful on how this generation swayed and set new standards.  I want you to keep in mind that while I liked some of these games, these aren't my personal top 5 of the past generation either but I think closer to what best represents our closing era of gaming, when I say the “best games of the current generation.”

First off I'd like to make an honorable mention of PT.  PT or playable trailer was supposed to be a demo for the new Silent Hill S game that unfortunately never came to be for the Playstation 4 from Konami.  A joint venture between film director Guillermo del Toro and the famous creator of Metal Gear Solid, Hideo Kojima, this demo spooked the pants off of everyone and was probably the reason a lot of people decided to buy a Playstation 4.  Unfortunately Konami let Hideo Kojima go under less than favorable conditions and the demo vanished with him in time.  Since then the immersive, first person perspective horror game demo changed the landscape of what survival horror could be.  We then saw Resident Evil VII by Capcom, the Park by Funcom, Layers of Fear by Aspyr and Death Standing by Hideo Kojima's new studio Kojima Productions that were all heavily influenced by PT (this point made more obvious for Hido Kojima's Death Stranding) and the future of Survial Horror / Suspense games seems to be headed there with upcoming games like Resident Evil VIII: The Village.  The only reason this isn't officially on the list is because, well, it was sadly never a game but its influence was too important for me not to mention.

Number 5: Sonic Mania.  Ok so Sonic Mania isn't anything new but it is very important in the sense that it is a major franchise, Sonic, by a well established publisher, Sega, and they had officially given the keys of Mobius to the fandom to make a new game and it was fantastic. While that's oversimplying things a bit errr a lot, since Sega just didn't come out of the blue offering that opportunity.  Rather Sega saw a Sonic game pitched by Christian Whitehead, aka Taxman, who worked on porting previous ports of Sonic games to Mobile platforms. Why I think it is important is that this validating the bridge between fandom and passion projects in world where game hacks and fangames are traditionally shut down almost immediately after gaining the slightest attention.  While Sonic Mania isn't a fangame, its roots were deep from the Romhack community.  This represents cracking the door between what the fandom produces and what the corporate offices allow being available to consumers in a world were popular fangames and hacks result in cease and desist orders - which is why I think is very important to put Sonic Mania as the number 5 game of this console generation.

Number 4: Rocket League.  As of today, Rocket League is a now free to play game for better or for worse.  Rocket League is high-octane fun, blasting balls across various courts and fields such as basketball and football with fast automobiles but what it is most well known for is basically soccer with cars.  Rocket League is a lot of fun to play and has a large audience of  in the streaming and esports field which would be reason enough to put this game in a top 5 but what this game marks maybe even more importantly is cross console online play. While other games have and do continue to have online play across systems, back in March of 2016 Microsoft was very interested in allowing online play between Xbox One and other consoles them being extremely hopeful for Playstation 4 in particular, however Sony was holding out.  Sony was hesitant, citing their emphasis on providing a certain quality online experience but finally came to the party and in 2019 you could finally play Rocket League online with all your friends whether it be on PC, Xbox One, Switch, or Playstation 4. Since then we have had other games slowly roll out this feature such as Wargroove and the trend seems to be expanding.  I hope to see all games adopt this in the future and since Rocket League “birthed” this concept coming to the table for cross console online play for us all to enjoy, this is why I think Rocket League deserves the number 4 slot.

Number 3: Bloodborne/Dark Souls III.  This past generation and hell even to some extent decade, spanning to the PS3/Xbox 360, has lead us to compare every challenging game that comes out to Dark Souls.  Cuphead is the Dark Souls of run and gun shooters, Dead Cells is the Dark Souls of Metroidvanias, Celeste is the Dark Souls of platformers, etc.  While the meme of “X is like the Dark Souls of” is hard to find a concrete start, according to Google Trends this first seemed to spike in April of 2015 around the release of Bloodborne, the PS4 game created by FromSoftware.  While not technically a Dark Souls game, it was made by the same team and the game play and feel is very Dark Souls in the sense that I feel the phrase is used today, in contrast to the first two Dark Souls games.  Then we can see that in/and around October 2017 the trend has risen to its peak a little after a year and a half of the release of Dark Souls III.  While this justification may seem more flimsy and ultimately the Dark Souls brand was established in 2011, I do think Bloodborne/Dark Souls III is more in the zeitgeist, if you will, of the “X is like Dark Souls” comparison that has shaped the conversation of so many games today.

Number 2: Undertale.  Undertale is perhaps the darling of this generation. A game chock full of charm with multiple ways to approach it.  Will you save everyone, sacrifice everyone, or something in-between?  This game does look next gen, current gen or even comparable to past gen games until you hit perhaps the SNES or even late NES.  Maybe a number 2 spot is too high on list – this game didn't revolutionize the industry in ways that the other games on this list did nor was it the first anti-RPG of its kind, that would probably go to MOON, but Undertale just had such a powerful impact on gamers when it came out and became so unforgettable.  I feel like Undertale will be a game that we remember for a long time and to not include it in this list because its an indie game would be a real tragedy which segways me to my number 1 game.

Number 1: Shovel Knight.  Shovel Knight is the indie game that, I think, lead to the current boom of retro inspired indie games we have been enjoying.  A love letter to the NES games of the past such as Castlevania, Mega Man and Ducktales to name a few.  Shovel Knight wasn't the first retro inspired indie games but I feel like the attention to detail in trying to stay as true to what the hardware could run in terms of look, color, sound and pixel art with its overwhelming success showed that there was a market for these type of games.  Its success kickstarter in 2013 also showed that Kickstarter could be used as a viable platform to create indie games for a wider audience without having to rely on that Triple A model of good gaming synonymous with big budget corporate funding.  I firmly believe that we wouldn't have the great retro inspired games like Celeste and Dead Cells or the Kickstarter'd Yooka Laylee and Bloodstained or games that did both like Blasphemous if it wasn't for the hard-work and ingenuity that Yacht Club Games paved with Shovel Knight.

To use a popular Youtube cliché to conclude this list, “At the end of the day” I didn't make this list to put Game Informer or anyone's personal preferences down.  If you believe that they got the Top 5 games of the decade right that's perfectly ok and valid too, to have as your opinion.  I also want to reiterate that those five games – The Last of Us Part II, the Witcher 3, Red Dead Redemption 2, Zelda Breath of the Wild and God of War are all important to this generation coming to a close as well in their own way.  While this list isn't my favorite games of the past generation, maybe I'll do that in the future, they are my subjective “best games list” of the past generation for what I think they did to the industry and you are free to agree, disagree, pick and choose between my list and Game Informers list or make a completely different list of your own.  I'm personally excited to see what the future of gaming has for us in this coming generation and optimistic for what's both around the corner and late into the next systems' life-cycle.  Happy gaming to you however you play.

Webpages noted: https://www.polygon.com/2020/9/17/21443683/nintendo-3ds-discontinued-lifetime-sales-hardware-software-units

https://www.fandom.com/articles/sonic-mania-just-nostalgia

https://www.theverge.com/2017/6/15/15807138/sony-playstation-cross-network-play-xbox-block-response

https://www.gamespot.com/articles/were-ready-microsoft-says-about-xbox-one-ps4-cross/1100-6438654/

https://www.rocketleague.com/news/full-cross-platform-play-now-live-in-rocket-league/

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/yachtclubgames/shovel-knight

https://www.gamasutra.com/blogs/DavidDAngelo/20140625/219383/Breaking_the_NES_for_Shovel_Knight.php

Games shown/referenced in the video:

The Last of Us Part 2

God of War

Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

Red Dead Redeption II

Witcher 3

PT / Silent Hill S

Sonic Mania

Rocket League

Blood Borne

Dark Souls III

Undertale

Shovel Knight

Shantae: Half Genie Hero

Cuphead

Celeste

Yooka Laylee

Mega Man 2

Ducktales

Castlevania

Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night

Blasphemous

Dead Cells

Resident Evil 7

Resident Evil 8

Moon

Layers of Fear

The Park

Death Stranding

Bonus Footage:

Xbox Series X reveal trailer

PS5 reveal trailer

Also note: I messed up in the original video and said the phrase, “X is like Dark Souls of” spiked in April of 2015 when I should have said first peaked in January to April of 2015.  I noted it in the video but wanted to note it again, sorry.