#Science teacher

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Eminem was my science teacher.

He rapped throughout the entire lesson and dropped the whole thing on Spotify.

[kittsenss]

Wearing my prettiest panties just incase he wants a peek after class ♡

[sarahmackattack]

As many of you know, I run a program called Skype a Scientist! We match scientists with classrooms, scout troops, libraries, and more for Q&A sessions about science. We ALSO run monthly livestreams with hand-picked scientists on zoom webinar.

Here are the upcoming sessions. All are welcome to attend, and all sessions are free.

RSVP for Shark Scales and Tails here

RSVP for Sea Star Feet here

RSVP for Finding Medicine in Plants here

RSVP for Pokemon here

Also!!! and critically!!! If you want to get matched with a scientist for YOUR classroom, scout troop, library, etc, we would love love love to match you with one of our scientist volunteers. That's what we're here for. Sign up here.

[corrupteddoodles]

things my science teacher has done so far this year

-threw himself into a wall to make a point -casually swears. not often but it has happened -casually joked about murdering his ex wives. -frantically tried to explain he was joking after casually joking about murdering his ex wives -has said that if we behave during labs then by the end of year we would be allowed to play with electricity. he would let us electrocute ourselves if we behave -gave us the hardest advice i've ever heard: "You can't trust a grown up until you become one."

[liliamoon]

Out-Of-Context Quotes From My Geology Professor

In honor of the end of my finals week, I compiled a bunch of random quotes from my geology professor:

“There’s reality, and then there’s Boulder, Colorado.”

“The Earth slowly loses heat to space, so eventually Earth will solidify. Except by that time, the sun will have engulfed us and we’ll be vaporized, so!”

“In a billion years, the Earth will barely be habitable, but to be honest, I’m not really losing sleep over it.”

“What also floats in water? Jesus… and witches, and very small rocks.”

“My grandma is from Ohio— they don’t have rocks there.”

“But you can’t watch them after 10 p.m. because that’s when aliens go home.”

“So quartz-rich rocks are siliceous, clay-rich rocks are argillaceous, and the Black-Eyed Peas are Fergilicious.”

“I can just see everyone’s faces start glazing over when I get talking about national park bathrooms.”

“Don’t feel bad, I used to wear socks with sandals, too.”

“Anticline points up, syncline points down. You can remember this because anticline looks like an A, and syncline— if you sin, you’re going down.”

“Death doesn’t matter when you have credit card debt.”

“I’m an old schist.”

“See, look, that poor sheep will never be fossilized.”

“I would say the best place to find gold is… Jared’s?”

“Saltating benthos— I always thought that would be a good name for a band. I mean, it is kinda like a rolling stone.”

“WHY are we FRENCH?”

“There’s enough death to go around!”

“This is not a part of my regular curriculum, but the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser? That stuff works so well!”

“Do you want to see a picture of the moose that chased me this past weekend?”

Bonus: my American literature professor once said “I haven’t really had a near-death experience. If anything, it was the opposite: a near life experience. Y’know, like, I almost had a life.”

[amnhnyc]

What’s more? Alumni receive 2 years of fully-funded professional learning! To learn more or sign up for an information session, visit: https://bit.ly/4aAi2Bx

Applications are due by January 16.

[beware-the-metacrane]

Back when I taught in the classroom, I was responsible for our district's StarLab. I feel like most people of a certain age had core memories formed in one of these babies, and getting to continue that tradition by shuttling 15-20 kids at a time into a giant dome to stare at projections of the constellations was one of the best parts of working at that district. Generic picture for reference.

Anyway, I left the district a few years ago and sadly had to leave my dome buddy forever. Or so I thought. This district does a yearly surplus auction, and I guess that since I left, nobody had really been taking care of the dome? It was listed for auction with "minor damages", and therefore was criminally cheap. We're talking a piece of equipment that nowadays, brand new, would cost over 40k USD to replace.

Suffice to say, I now own a StarLab. Now to find somewhere big enough to us it, since this is what happens when I try to inflate it in my garage:

I'm already looking at ways to integrate it into my summer camp programming :)

[cloudnuggett]

quick shout out to my eigth grade science teacher who somehow managed to recover and keep his dignity after accidentally saying "volcanic erection" instead of "volcanic eruption" in front of a group of immature 13 year olds

[rainbow-baby-one]

Women in Science Sweatshirt!

A classic sweatshirt for all the amazing women in science!

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Bill Nye the Science Guy was my science teacher. When he came into class we'd all chant, "Bill Bill Bill" but also, "Science Science Science". Then one day I went to class and Bill wasn't there and it turned out he was fired. I found his apartment in a massive monolithic block and we had a heart to heart chat. He broke down into tears saying, "I really liked being your science guy".

[kittsenss]

seeing his boxers when his shirt rises makes me go crazy

[sarahmackattack]

How I feel promoting my free program to match scientists with classrooms for Q&A sessions

Many teachers have been working in overdrive for months (or years), so I can understand they might not have the energy to proverbially text back, but I still gotta tell 'em about Skype a Scientist. We're a nonprofit science education org that matches teachers and librarians with scientists for free Q&As about science.

In these sessions, you can:

Learn about the scientists' areas of expertise

Show your class what a real lab looks like

Talk about the many ways a career in science can take shape.

A 4th thing I haven't thought of yet

Here's how it works:

Step 1: Pick a category of science that your class would like to talk about

Step 2: Sign up on SkypeAScientist.com

Step 3: Get a match via email

Step 4: Connect with your scientist to discuss your classroom's interests and needs

Step 5: Talk about science in your classroom (on whatever platform you like, it does not have to be Skype).

[kingoftieland]

It’s National Teacher Appreciation Day! Just like the Jade Giant, my students wouldn’t like me when I’m angry… Because I always support my argument with properly documented scholarly sources. That’s right – Mr. Merenda is The CREDIBLE Hulk! 👨🏼‍🏫

[liliamoon]

Chaotic Teacher Quotes

Because I just finished my degree, I compiled a list of some of my favorite things my professors have said this past semester:

“To shower or not to shower, that is the question.”

“My parents were baby boomers, which means they were on drugs and had sex and that’s how I happened.” “I’m not kidding. That’s true.”

“Ok, how does everyone feel about nostrils?”

“I like to remind my wife that she’s older than me. Every year on my birthday I’m like, oh my god, I’m almost as old as you!”

“That’s the best way to learn: forget and then remember. The only better way is to learn it drunk and then learn it sober. …Grad school is a lot of fun.”

“Is Dungeons & Dragons legit as a religious institution? Let’s discuss.”

“Punxsutawney Phil, the little beaver— not a beaver, the, you know, the marmot, HE DIED. I mean, what does that mean for our weather?? If he sees his shadow it’s six more weeks of winter but WHAT IF HE DIES??”

“We can’t have negative time— if it’s negative, you’re dead. Just like the groundhog.”

“Are we ultimately born of divine incest?”

“This whole thing is complex, very convoluted. But so is my sister, and I still love her.”

“You might ask yourself, what do I do with a big chunk of text? In many cases, the first step is to burn it with fire.”

“This is good information for those of you thinking of starting a cult.”

“I drive a stick-shift, you can’t steal my car. If you look at the thing, you wouldn’t want to, but the point is, you CAN’T.” “It’s got nothing, I almost literally have to go out with a lighter and turn on the headlights myself.”

“Do you think we could rewrite The Lord of the Rings in limerick meter? Potentially a good idea for your finals.”

“Does that freak anyone out? If it doesn’t, you might not be paying attention!!!”

“Here we read that Tiamat and Apsu had ‘mixed their waters together’— I guess that’s what the kids call it these days.”

“You know how in America we’re very vulnerable to British accents?”

“If you know what you’re doing, it’ll take about thirty minutes; if you don’t know what you’re doing, maybe forty; and if you really don’t know what you’re doing, it’ll take five.”

“Cockroaches gonna cockroach, everybody with me?”

“Right now I’m being a pain-in-the-ass materialist.” “You feel? Hold the phone.” “Conscience? What do we do with people who don’t have that? Like me.”

“Who here is familiar with the term ‘shitification’?”

“Academia is like a hospital: if you don’t work there, don’t stick around.”

“I always want you all to walk out of this classroom with a little bit more of the weight of despair on your shoulders.” “Are you feeling it?”

[hkayakh]

My science teacher plays videogames. I mean, his computer wall paper is of god of war. In class today he played some music for us and it was all undertale music. I’m talking ma dummy fight. I’m talking Death by Glamour. I’m talking megalovania.

He’s a pretty cool science teacher.

[holywholemilks]

My science teacher also watches one piece, her controversial opinions are:

1. Nami is annoying :(

2. Thriller Bark sucked

3. She would not leave her husband for Zoro (despite him being her favorite character)