#Sirius doesn’t get why people don’t let him drive

[linnea-bowiesversion]

Remus: where’s Regulus and Sirius?

James: oh Sirius is teaching Reggie to drive. Some good brotherly bonding :D

Remus:

Remus: Sirius never learned how to drive!?!

Meanwhile:

Sirius: so, there’s two pedals, sometimes three but you can ignore the left one.

Regulus: I don’t think-

Sirius: the lines on the road are more suggestions than anything, like the speed limit.

Regulus: are you sure that-

Sirius: I’m not sure how to turn on the blinkers. Ready?

Regulus: no wait I-

Sirius *shouting*: GO GO GO

Regulus, *screaming*: *floors it*

[shipsgaysfordays]

Queen

I gave myself the challenge of trying to write all of this week’s prompts, and I even found a spot to fit one of next week’s prompts because I’m an overachiever. It should have (not in this order) piece, forbid, slap, obstacle, queen, bond, soil, and sketch.

This is the fic that I have been making posts about that took me a lot longer than expected. It is based on an idea that I had because of a tiktok.

CW: I do reference sex as a joke at one point, also like Remus having anxieties about the possibility of people not liking him due to his queerness, lycanthropy, and emotional issues.

I may make a sequel to this fic at some point since I got a bit too invested and since it’s mainly just wolfstar pining and miscommunication (my bread and butter) It’s kinda fake dating, but as a joke that mainly drives some miscommunication, jealousy, and emotional issues

As usual prompts from @wolfstarmicrofic

Is this a microfic anymore, that’s debatable.

Remus had been reading in the library, his favorite comfort and passtime, his way of getting away from all the noise of the marauders—just for a little bit. He was just getting to the best part of their book, the fellowship of the ring had finally formed, when Lily interrupted, tapping him on the shoulder. At first he simply tried to ignore her, but she continued manically tapping and tapping and tapping. 

“Remus,” she muttered, annoyed, “I need to tell you something.”

“We’re in the library, there’s like 1 rule in here and it’s to be quiet.”

“You and I both know that there’s many more rules because of you and your group of marauders.”

Remus looked up, smiling “innocently”, “I have no idea what you’re talking about, the marauders are an anonymous group of lunatic pranksters, could only imagine what the school would be like if they were caught.”

“Uh-huh, sure. That doesn’t negate that I need to talk to you about something,” she stopped to think for a minute, “alone.”

His face shifted as he listened to the concern in her voice. “Okay, okay, let’s go to the lake,” Remus said as he put his books into a bag and began leading Lily out of the library, the librarian staring bullets at them due to all of their “noise” (they were whispering). 

“But it’s raining,” Lily said, tilting her head back, exacerbated. 

“Sometimes you have to make a sacrifice if you want to be all alone.”

“If I get a cold I’m blaming you.”

Remus shrugged, they walked down the moving steps, Remus’ eyes kept glancing at the red head next to him, why would she want to talk to him alone? Did she change her mind on werewolves? Or queer people? Or maybe he’s just being too bothersome and depressed and angry and emotional. 

His boots stomped into the muddy brown soil, sinking into the dirt just a bit with every step he took, until getting to an area deemed secluded enough. Their eyes met each other, Remus looking at Lily expectantly, “So, what’s this important information I need to hear?”

For a moment Lily was reluctant, eyes looking around the grounds, “I…I don’t know if I should tell you, Sirius said it was a secret, but….well I know how you feel about them.” 

“Lily, you can’t just leave me with that, if it’s about Sirius then I need you to tell me, please Lily, put me out of my misery,” Remus tried to say it playfully, dramatically like the person they were discussing, but there was a tinge of sadness to the tone of his voice. A sense of anxiety.

Lily cleared her throat for a second, “Okay, okay,” she looked up at Remus, “Sirius told me that they’re dating James, but that it’s a secret. I didn’t know if you would know already or if you were someone they didn’t want me telling, they forbid me saying—”

Lily continued to rattle on but Remus couldn’t listen anymore, it was a joke, right? But why would Lily ask him to talk with her alone for some stupid prank, and she wouldn’t take it this far, she knows how Remus feels about Sirius, she’s the only person who knows. 

It hit Remus like a slap in the face. It was senseless and stupid yet somehow made all the sense in the world. James and Sirius had always had a closer bond between each other in comparison to the rest of the marauders.They always spent more time together, chatting late into the night about who knows what, their energies matched each other the best. Padfoot and Prongs had always seemed to mesh, like soulmates, Remus had always just hoped it was platonic soulmates. 

Lily’s hands were waving in front of his face, “Reeeeemusssss, Remus, Reeeeeee-”

Remus put his hand over her mouth, putting on a fake smile, “I’m listening, I’m listening…but seriously, thank you for letting me know Lily.”

After pulling his hand off her face, Lily held it, “I’m sorry about–”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for, my best friend who happens to be my crush is in love with my other best friend who had seemed to have a crush on you, and now they’re dating and hopefully they’re happy and they decided to keep that a secret from me.” 

Remus tried to detach himself from the words, from the situation, trying to speak like it was a to-do list and not all the woes he would be worrying over all night. Still his voice broke.

“Let’s get inside,” Lily shivered. 

Quick on their feet, Remus and Lily ran, holding hands and hoping they hadn’t caught a cold from being outside in the pouring rain for at least a few minutes. 

As Remus performed the cleaning charms he thought about all the times they would have been useful to know at home, so his dad wouldn’t complain about mud tracking into the house. He blinked, looking back at the floor and walking mechanically through the hallways and eventually into the common room. Trying not to think about everything, the moon would be soon, just one more week–that was not a better topic to think on, Remus decided.

Marching past the common room, past James with his messy beautiful hair and his eyebrows shot up in confusion and perfect brown eyes peering at Remus. 

Finally in the empty safehaven of their dorm Remus grabbed Sirius’ record player, his favorite Queen album, and began breaking his eardrums by turning the volume to the highest possible level and listening to “I Want To Break Free.”

Saying James was troubled by this behavior as he sauntered into the room would be a massive understatement when describing the mom friend of the marauders. On a normal day Remus would try his best to talk through a small part of his problems that he would let James know about, but today was not that day, Remus was fucking angry.

“Moony…”

“Leave me alone Potter.”

“Surnames, now this has to be important, of consequence, significant, momentous, pressing, other synonyms so I don’t speak of the devil.” 

“You can say serious, it’s not like it will summon them,” Remus rolled his eyes.

But of course the universe just needed to prove Remus wrong, that’s what today seemed to be all about, just fucking with Remus. That’s all Remus could think of as those boots, leather jacket, and confident strut came into the room. 

Immediately Remus decided that now would be a good time to return to the library and continue his books. Wordlessly and with the blankest face he could manage, he tried to leave the room. 

Sirius stepped back, blocking the door, “Where you goin’ Moony?”

“Library,” Remus spit out. 

Their hands shot up by their head as they backed away from the door, “Okay, just don’t fry your brain studying, you make it hard for some of us to keep up.”

Remus was already out the door, still he heard as someone (presumably James) turned the music down and Sirius asked, “What the hell’s going on with Moony?”

….

Sirius had been planning on telling James about the prank they played on Evans earlier, when they first heard the Queen music down the hall they were overjoyed that Remus would also get to hear this piece of information, however seeing that Moony basically had a raincloud of emotions over his head, Sirius wondered what could have happened. Has Snivellus been fucking with him again? Is the moon closer than I thought it was? Did I fuck up something again and forget about it? He left right when I came in, is he irritated with me?

Of course after Remus had left, they had to ask, “What the hell’s going on with Moony?”

“No clue,” James responded sitting on his bed, “he seemed fine earlier, if anything pretty happy.”

“Maybe his hip is hurting again?” Sirius sat next to James.

“Maybe,” James pondered, “but that wouldn’t explain him wanting to leave the room right when you got here.”

“I need to talk to him,” Sirius sighed.

“It might be good to give him space for a bit, Moony always needs his alone time.”

“True…” Sirius thought for a bit, until remembering why they were coming up to talk to James in the first place, “Oh! I need to tell you about this absolutely rad prank I played on Evans earlier today.”

James’ eyes widened, “What crimes did you commit this time to ensure I never become friends with Lily?”

“Nothing too sirius, nothing too serious,” they spoke with their hand on their chin, a finger brushing on their devilish grin. “Told Evans that we’re dating and that she needs to stay away from my man.” Sirius looked up innocently. 

“Why?!? Merlin why!” James spoke dramatically.

“Thought it was funny,” Sirius shrugged. 

“Why have I been cursed with this friendship?”

“No refunds, no take backs, you’re stuck with me Prongs.”

“Funny part is I don’t even have that big of a crush on Lily anymore.”

“Sure…” Sirius rolled their eyes.

“What?!? I don’t!”

Sirius cackled, “Like I’d believe that in a million years.”

“Well I don’t, and now this is just another heart shaped obstacle in the way of us becoming friends…though maybe if she thinks I’m dating someone else then she would be more willing to talk with me…..”

“Think she’d want a thresome.”

James shoved Sirius, “Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, EWWWWWWWW. Listen to me closely Sirius, NOT. WITH. YOU. NOT IN A MILLION YEARS, YOU ARE LIKE A BROTHER TO ME, JUST, NO.”

“And I already had the wedding invitations written, pre ordered the dress and everything.”

“You could always try to marry Mo-oo-ooony,” James teased. 

Sirius shoved James back, “Like he’d ever say yes to…all this.”

“You never know until you ask…though it would be a better idea to ask him on a date before trying to marry him. Doesn’t seem like the one to rush into things, our Moony.”

“Yeah…don’t think I’d want to rush into things either,” Sirius spoke more, for lack of a better term, seriously. 

“Do you think Lily told anyone?”

“Lily told anyone what?”

“About the whole us dating prank.”

“I don’t think so, told her it was a secret since you’re not out.”

James tilted his head, “I probably should come out…oh shit!”

“What! What’s going on, have you finally had your first thought after all these years?” Sirius put a hand over their chest, “I’m so proud, little boy’s all grown up.” They ruffled his hair. 

James swatted Sirius’ hand a way, “Firstly, just realized that I don’t think I ever told you I’m bi.”

“Well that was pretty obvious given how much you talk about the boys in quidditch.”

James gave an exacerbated sigh, “Anyways, secondly, Lily and Moony are close, right?”

“Yeah, they do all that studying together since,” giving air quotes, “‘academics is important’ and all that.”

“Think she would have told Remus?”

“About you being bi, I think Remus already knows.”

“He should we’ve kissed.”

“WHAT?”

“Anyways, back to the point,” James tried to continue on as Sirius crossed their arms and shook their legs, “do you think Evans told Moony about us dating?”

“Okay, we need to get back to you kissing Moony at some point, but I don’t think she would have said anything.”

“Could have though.”

“Why would Moony be pissed about that?”

“‘Cause he likes you?”

Sirius narrowed their eyes. 

“Or he’s pissed that we supposedly kept this from him and he had to hear it from Evans.”

They bit their lip, thinking for a moment, until shooting up like a rocket, “I need to talk with Remus.”

Sirius ran down the stairs and through the halls, until finally stopping to catch their breath, right in front of the library. Walking straight to the librarian’s desk and proceeding to ask the old bat with her scrunched up snooty nose for a piece of paper, thankfully she obliged. 

They spotted Moony, grabbed a random book from the shelf so they would be able to blend in with their surroundings, like a secret agent, Sirius thought. 

Padfoot starred as they sat at the table next to Moony’s but not Moony’s so he could have a bit of space. For a moment Remus looked up, their eyes locked together in some sort of exchange, like a call to battle, though quickly Remus’ eyes moved back to the book. Sirius sighed, Remus’ sneakily flipped them off for just a moment.  

Using a pencil, Sirius began to write a note with a few stars sketched around it. 

….

“Are you angry at me?” 

Remus examined the note that was passed to him, of course, he wanted to say, you and James lied to me…I like you and you don’t like me. Instead he simply shrugged, deciding that a gesture would be better than any worded response he could think of. He handed the unchanged note back to Sirius. 

Sirius added more to the note as Remus tried all his might to focus on the book again. What is it with people trying to interrupt my reading today? Does everyone here just hate Tolkein? His train of thought was interrupted YET AGAIN by a paper being dropped on top of his book page. 

“Did you talk with Evans?” No stars, hearts, or other annoying bullshit around the words this time.

Remus considered just ignoring the words, but he knew Sirius would be fucking persistent, he held his hand out for Sirius pencil and began writing just after Sirius dropped it into his hand. Simply saying, “Yes.”

“About?”

Part of Remus wanted to say that they had talked about the rain, about getting a cold, about the anonymous group known as the marauders, but he wanted to get this hellish conversation over with. 

“Congrats to the happy couple,” for a moment he wanted to leave it there, but he decided to add, “kind of wish you or James would have told me.”

“Didn’t tell you because James and I aren’t actually dating.”

“?”

“It was a prank on James and Lily.”

“Ok,” Remus ran a hand through his hair. 

“Can we talk?”

Remus looked up at them, he packed his things back into his bag, Sirius got up preparing to leave as well. Once out of the quiet land of books, Remus whispered, “Not right now.” Turning the opposite way of Sirius, in hopes of finding one of his good hiding spots so he could finally return to his reading. 

….

Sirius stood still, blinking back strange water that started infecting their eyes for absolutely no reason whatsoever as they watched Remus walk away. 

I fucked everything up…all for a stupid joke.

Later on they were laying in bed, staring at the blurry ceiling and blaming it on some random fake illness.

[resident-gay-bitch]

Ok omg but your reply makes perfectly sense. I actually don't care who recognizes first 😅 doesn't matter bc both fall and both are kind of suprised bc they actually were just close friends. I just imagine that James has less trouble to recognize because he knows what love is dunno maybe it just stucks in my head that he falls in love with lily instantly and that's why he would be the one to realize first. But like he never thought about Sirius in that way and of course he is confused first but then he realizes he didn't need to think about him in a different way, bc that's just as they were u know. But yes I totally agree that Sirius really struggles with it. James is the very first person he gets love from at all, let it be platonic oder romantic and maybe he doesn't even know if he's able to fall in love at all bc of his past. He maybe would have problems to sort out like which kind of love it is that he feels. But you are right as well. If Sirius is the one who realizes first I can imagine that he's tryin to supress it somehow like he's scared that he wants too much, like thinking if he even deserves this and stuff bc James already took him as a friend and as a brother and everything but he wants more and kinda feels bad for it u know?

And of course I saw you wordplay. Best wordplay in relation to James. I believe Sirius would start his letters with 'Deer James,..'

I couldn't stop smiling when I read your reply. I also love that we have the same hc mostly 😍

I recently read a fic where our aspects are very very similar. I hope I can find it again. Speaking of: Do have Andy recs? Seem like romantic prongsfoot fics are really rare.

Yess I totally agree with you there too, it does make sense that James knows what love feels like more so than sirius which is why he realises first. I honeslty don’t mind how it happens because both make perfect sense in my mind. Like they’re both just so struck by it. I think they’re so lovely. I think Sirius believing he doesn’t deserve to have James in more ways than he already does is SO SO PAINFUL but also so true to his character. Like her struggle with it so much because it’s James, he believes he doesn’t even deserve James as a friend and now he wants more?! He’d drive himself mad about it. But then James would come along and be all happy and in love with him and Sirius would feel like maybe he does deserve it because why would the universe waste something as special as James’ heart on something unworthy.

You are so right, he would start all of his letters like that and James would pin every single one of them to his bedroom wall.

I love when I find people with similar headcannons about niche topics. There’s really not enough prongsfoot love out there :/

Oooo if you find that fic again PLEASE share it with me <3

Uhhh, honestly most of the prongsfoot things I read are just little drabbles i find on tumblr so not really. Though the first prongsfoot fic I read that originally got me into them was Song Of My Soul (Calling You Home) by bizarrestars. It has a special place in my heart.

And please stop by my ask box anytime you have ANY thoughts, questions or fic recs about prongsfoot, anon. I constantly crave them and take all the crumbs I can get :)))

[tinyluminaryzombie]

This Hope Is Treacherous Chapter 2

Read chapter 2 of my @jilymicro-oops This Hope is Treacherous here or below the cut!!

(To read chapter 1: read on tumblr or read on ao3)

Chapter 2 - “I hear the sound of my own voice asking you to stay”

It’s only 10:30 on a Saturday morning and Lily’s already wrapped up in blankets, crying.

Sure, she's had a strained relationship with her family for years, but it hasn’t been this bad in a while. It’s been three years since she lived at home. Distance cushioned their coldness and her friends replaced unfulfilled rolls. She'd been fine.

But today, she woke up to a single text from her sister, Petunia.

“I wanted to let you know you don’t have to waste your time coming home this Winter. Vernon and I will be spending the holidays with his parents. Also, we bought Mom and Dad a cruise trip as an early Christmas present. They’ll be off before you end the semester, so no point driving six hours for no one!”

What a callus, tactless bitch.

Except, something inside of Lily scolds her for her language. Don’t call your sister a bitch. Don’t think that way about your family. They’re your family, Lily. She knows she’s not blameless, but it's as if her family doesn’t realize they’re tearing her in two. Should she dig her heels in and fight for the family that used to exist? Or maintain the distance they created and protect herself?

She’s 21 but right now, covered in blankets, every thought seems to come from a scared ten-year-old girl.

Why don’t they want me?

It’s not fair!

This isn’t what I want!

I want my family back, why don’t they want me?

Lily can’t do this. She’s doing deeper and deeper and the farther she goes, the more ugly questions and ugly answers will pop up. She’s untethered and needs to be pulled back. Lily tries to take a deep breath and makes a plan. There are only a few people she’d feel comfortable going to. Marlene and Dorcas are the obvious choices but they’re away for the weekend, which leaves—James.

Their unspoken thing doesn’t even cross her mind. As soon as she thought of James, she knew she needed his quiet comfort, careful smiles, and loud laughter. Maybe she’d tell him what happened. But maybe just being beside him would be enough to keep her darkest thoughts at bay. Either way, she knew James was safe.

James’s apartment was only a 5-minute walk from her own. Lily walked fast, eager to see James, and knocked on the door.

No one came out. Lily wasn't sure what to do. On Saturdays, James would always cook breakfast for Siruis and any other friends who stayed over. Normally, if you wanted to see James Potter outside his apartment on a Saturday you’d have to wait until at least 1 pm.

So, she knocks again.

This time, a grunt makes it through the door.

“Alright! Alright, I’m coming!”

“What so important– Oh hey Evans, what’s up?”

Lily supposed she should have expected Sirius to answer the door, it was his apartment too. But, her focus was on getting to James’s as fast as possible. Now, as Lily walks through the door, nodding at Sirius, she feels unprepared.

“Hey, is James home?”

“Evans you ok? Want some water? Some of James’s culinary confections?”

“Sirius. Where is James?”

“Ahhh Jamesy Pie, platonic love of my life. He’s out on a coffee date, can you believe it?”

The choked-out “what” that hurdles through Lily without permission is humiliating. She’s standing right in front of a large blue loveseat, completely forgetting that she was about to sit down. Two words run through her mind over and over. James. Date. James. Date. James on a date. James on a date with someone who’s not me.

A “Holy shit Red!” tears through her thoughts. She looks up at Sirius.

“Holy. Fucking. Shit. That was a joke, red. Holy fucking shit! You like James!"

[jmagnabo92]

WSB Ch 4 - James’ Devious Plan

Happy Prongsfoot Wednesday!

AO3

James comes up with a devious plan to get Sirius' interest in the physical side of their relationship, which honestly drives Sirius crazy.

***

September 3rd, 1983

        James smiles as he walks into the lingerie store with Christine.  They had decided that the best way to gain their men’s attention is through lingerie.  Which is why he’d asked Sirius to watch the kids to that they could go shopping.

      Christine spins around in the store, “Do you have any idea how long it’s been since I’ve been without a kid in tow?”

      James chuckles at her behavior, “I’m guessing you two haven’t had date nights since Stella was born?”

      Christine shakes her head.  “I figure that the first few months, even first year, made sense – always tired, never had time, etc. –, but then afterward, he never suggested any dates and I figured maybe he just wasn’t attracted anymore.”

      “Hmm-mm, hence this little plan of yours?” James teases.

      Christine smiles, “I figure we can start slow… something that could be seen as a normal pair of underwear and slowly get racy.”

      “I love the plan,” James grins.  “But I can’t say that I’m aware of men’s lingerie and what might be – er – interesting to wear for Sirius.”

      “I can help you with that,” a voice behind him says.  

      He turns and finds a brown-haired girl a bit younger than him with the nametag ‘Michelle’ on her shirt.  

      James smiles, “You know about men’s lingerie?”

      “Not exactly, but I certainly know what I like seeing – maybe this, Sirius, has similar tastes?” Michelle suggests.

      “Well, I don’t know exact tastes, but I’m willing try out anything.”

      “Then, let’s get started.”

***

      James is nearly giddy as he looks at the various pairs of underwear he bought that range from just a regular different colored brief cuts to crotchless male panties and everything in between.  Some had lace, some covered all of him, some were just straps, some had holes (that could be covered or uncovered) to expose his arse and penis, and some were easily ripped away and made for hot, passionate sex that he wouldn’t even care that he wouldn’t even be able to wear again.  He’d even bought a few that were more like mini skirts, just barely covering his arse and easily slid up for easy access.  

      He felt sexier already and he intended to wear them and roll them out slowly, given Sirius’ desire for their relationship to be on the slow path.  Still, he couldn’t wait for the moment when Sirius would see him in them and just pounce.

      “Did you enjoy your day out?” Sirius questions, appearing in the doorway, having put Harry to bed.  

      “Hmm-mm,” James nods.  “It was a lot of fun.”

      “Never thought you’d be much of shopper – unless it’s for other people,” Sirius teases, knowingly.  “I know how much you love to spoil people.  Rarely ever bought anything for yourself.”

      James flushes.  “Technically, what I bought was – was for me.”

      “Hmm-mm, and yet…”

      James clears his throat as he flushes.  “Don’t you want to be surprised?”

      Sirius moves closer and James shuts the drawer with the underwear, as Sirius makes it in front of him.  He places his hands on James’ hips and leans his forehead against James’.  “Uh-huh, and that’s why you’re hiding whatever it is in the drawer?  Because you want to surprise me with it?”

      “Uh-huh,” James says, nervously.  “It’s just – you know – I don’t want to –”

      “Relax, James.  Just because we share a bed doesn’t mean you have to share everything with me,” Sirius grins.  “Just know that no matter what you wear to entice me won’t work until I’m sure we’re ready.”

      James blushes.  Of course Sirius knows.  “How’d you know?”

      Sirius laughs, “Your underclothing habits have already drastically changed even after we talked about slowing down and when you’re trying to get a man’s attention, lingerie is usually the way to do it.  Hence, you and Christine shopping for ‘private’ things today.”

      James swallows.  “You’re not mad, are you?”

      “Quite the opposite, Jay, I’m delighted,” Sirius says, giving him a kiss.  “Still, won’t change anything though.”

      James leans back as he eyes him up and down, imagining Sirius’ reaction to James in some of those pairs of underwear, he’s certain that it’ll provoke the reaction he’s looking for.  “You really think it won’t?”

      “It will certainly provoke a reaction that you’re obviously eager for, but I doubt it’ll make me so eager for sex that we’ll have sex before we’re ready.”

      James nods.  “You’re a stubborn one.”

      “I didn’t make it through years of being attracted to you and not acting on those feelings by accident and luck,” Sirius counters.

      James is a bit disappointed, was all of his shopping for nothing?  “Does that mean… I shouldn’t try?”

      Sirius grins, “I’d love to see you try – I’m actually curious about your efforts so-to-speak.  So, go ahead, try and woo me with sexy underwear – I’ll definitely enjoy it.”

      James grins, pleased.  “Good.  I will.”

***

September 17th, 1983

      Given that James had asked that he not take a peek into that drawer of underwear, Sirius naturally became oh-so-curious.  He’s eager to see some of this devious plan of James’ that will supposedly make him eager enough to drop the whole ‘taking it slow’ thing and ignore his guilty feelings to give way to his lustful feelings.

      Unfortunately, James is obviously trying to take him by surprise as he continues to wear just normal if slightly tighter underwear.  Sirius knows he bought sexier underwear, so why hasn’t he worn it, yet?  Why would he continue showing off the regular underwear that Sirius has already seen?

      He continues to wonder this as he watches James with Harry on their jungle gym.  His arse looks good in those tight trousers, but he’d still rather be spoiled by seeing the sexy underwear.

      “Seems like you’re obsessing now,” Spencer says from beside him.  They’re both sitting on the porch with James and Evan help their kids around the jungle gym.

      “No – I’m not.”

      “Sirius,” Spencer says, giving him a look.  

      “Oh, fine.”  Sirius rolls his eyes.  “I know he’s got this devious sexy underwear plan and even though I fully intend to be good and not have sex until I’m sure he’s ready to be with me, I still want to see him in them – I am a visual person…  I can’t help the curiosity,” Sirius states.  

Especially since he’d had many, many fantasies of James in all sorts of lingerie.  He can’t help wondering if James had any idea of the types that would grab Sirius’ attention the best and once James starts showing them off, Sirius could potentially have real fantasies of James in lingerie that he actually owns and bought for Sirius’ viewing pleasure.

      Spencer laughs, “Didn’t you want him to take things slow – shouldn’t you be happy that he’s forgoing trying to seduce you?”

      Sirius gives him a look.  “Probably, but it’s driving me crazy, honestly.”

      “Maybe that’s the point.”

      “What do you mean?”

      “I mean – you know his supposed plan, right?” Spencer asks, and Sirius nods.  “Well, what if that was the plan?  You find out about the underwear and spend the next several days, weeks, or months – however long it takes for you to cave – thinking about nothing else until you cave and have sex.”

      Sirius narrows his eyes, “James isn’t that devious.”

      “But it’s possible, isn’t it?”

      “I suppose.  Guess I’ll have to wait and see.”

***

      Hours later, James can’t help grinning as he turns around to find Sirius leaning against the doorway to their bedroom.  He’s currently undressing for bed (he’d been careful over the last few weeks to be little bit more covered as part of his oh-so-devious plan).

      His plan involves driving Sirius crazy by having him know that James has sexy underwear that is meant for Sirius’ eyes only, and yet, not actually wear them.  At least not until Sirius is ready to pounce the second that he does.  In the meantime, he plans to absolutely spoil Sirius the same way he did with Lily.

      Certainly, he’ll realize how much James loves him and be willing to step up their relationship.  James can’t wait for that to happen.

      James eyes Sirius, noting that he’s looking a bit disappointed that James is standing in looser pants and the not the sexy underwear that they both know he owns.  Clearly, his plan is working.  

      “Harry go down all right?” James asks.

      “Hmm-mm,” Sirius nods.  “I just came to see if …”

      “If what?” James prompts.

      “If you were going to – to join me for a night cap?” Sirius asks, looking that it was very much not going to ask that.

      James smiles, “I actually have a present for you, but I want it to be a surprise – meet you in the sitting room?”

      Sirius grins, eyes lighting him in the way that tells James he’s probably thinking it’s a pair of those sexy underwear as the surprise.  “Sure, Jay.  I’ll be waiting.”

      Sirius turns and walks to the sitting room, while James grins and finds the wrapped present in the closet.  Sirius is going to be so surprised especially if he’s expecting underwear.

      It only takes a minute for him to be in the sitting room and seeing his delightful boyfriend trying to act nonchalant as he sits on the couch in his normal spot.

      James moves beside him and offers him the present, “Hope you like it.”

      Sirius looks surprised.  He glances between the box and James’ pants confused.  

      “What’s wrong, Si?”

      Sirius tears his eyes away from James’ pants covered cock to his eyes.  “Nothing, er, what’s this for?”

      James smiles, “As if I need a reason to spoil you.  Open it.”

      Sirius smiles and quickly opens it to see tickets to the next David Bowie concert at the end of the month.  “You bought me concert tickets?”

      James grins, knowing that he’s pleased.  “Yes.  I heard you talking about the concert with Spencer last week and I figured it didn’t hurt to check if there were still seats available.”

      Sirius grins and gives him a kiss so passionate that he knocks him onto his back on the couch.  James could feel how interested Sirius is given that he slides between James’ legs on top of him.  It’s a shame that Sirius is still fully dressed.  

      He pulls back looking to James’ eyes, “Wanna be my date?”

      James laughs, “You think I’d let you date someone else?”

      Sirius chuckles, “No, just thought it was proper to ask.  So, date?”

      “Absolutely,” James grins, “But only if you promise me a hot and heavy snogging session afterward.”

      Sirius checks and kisses him again, “How about I give you one right now?”

      “Even better.”

***

September 30th, 1983

Convinced as he is of James’ devious plan, Sirius is sure that James’ll be wearing some sort of sexy underwear tonight, especially given the teasing request for a hot and heavy snogging session – something Sirius is thrilled to comply with, even if it means that he’ll have to wank on his own as soon as he can sneak off.  

Sirius had been thinking about what James might be wearing underneath his trousers every day ever since that shopping trip and every day he’s been disappointed, but not tonight.  

He’s so sure that James is up to something with this special date as he had dressed up, bought him sweets and flowers, then he’d taken Sirius to a dinner before the concert, plus he’d made the request for a snogging session afterward.  He even reaffirmed that they would be enjoying some after date fun in the form of the snogging session.  

Being so gentlemanly and honestly, a fantastic date – only meant one thing: he’s up to something.  

Hopefully that something has to do with the sexy underwear he’s been itching to see.  

He honestly can’t wait for it.  

Luckily, as soon as they return home and check on the sound asleep Harry, wave off Spencer for the night (who gives him a wink), James is on him, panting between kisses, “You… promised… snogging.”

Sirius hums into the kiss and breaks off ever so slightly, “And you’ll get it…” He unbuttons James’ shirt, “Just as soon as…” His hands drop to his belt, ripping it off, “I get these clothes…” He unbuttons the trousers, “Off,” he finishes as he jerks the trousers off leaving James in just his pants.

Sirius leans back to admire them, only to see that they’re still his regular pants.  Still somewhat tighter than the pants James had worn only a few months back, but not the sexy underwear he’d been hoping for.  Just plain black pants.

“You like?” James questions, teasingly.  “You know if you want – you can take them off, too.”  

He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, but Sirius shakes his head, “Just kiss me.”

“Gladly.”

***

James can’t help grinning as he cuddles into Sirius later.  His plan is working, he’s sure of it. Sirius had thoroughly enjoyed his date tonight and had clearly been eager to see some sexy underwear.  The kind that James is itching to wear but trying to be patient.  He has to time this just right.

Sirius will come to him, eventually, he just knows it.  

Meanwhile, he can just enjoy watching Sirius eagerly undress him to his pants (while snogging him passionately), only to be slightly disappointed.  As long as it doesn’t take away from his enjoyment of snogging, which it didn’t, there’s no harm in his devious plan.  If anything, knowing how badly Sirius wanted him in the sexy underwear, he’d bought specifically for Sirius’ eyes only, actually intensified his enjoyment.  

He’s having so much fun with this devious plan of his… and it’s not over, yet.  

[punktrsh]

do they have any scars or birthmarks on their face or neck? do they have any other distinguishing features that are not easily seen?do they need to wear glasses or contact lenses? how often do they wear them?are their overall preferences towards hair on themselves the same or different towards other people?can they braid hair?do they have any tattoos? if so, where?would they get (more) tattoos? why or why not?which of their bodily feature(s) is/are the most prominent? ily <3

an intricate cheat sheet for muses.

do they have any scars or birthmarks on their face or neck?

so, no birthmarks, but he does have like the faintest smattering of freckles across the bridge of his nose. they were a lot more distinct when he was younger, they’ve faded significantly with time. he has a small scar along his hairline, by his left temple, from hitting his head against a table leg as a child.

do they have any other distinguishing features that are not easily seen?

that are not easily seen? hmm. he has some pretty beaten up knuckles if you look at his hands carefully! but other than that, not really. i think the distinguishing features he has, you tend to see? for example, if you don’t notice he has heterochromia at the very least you notice how blue his eyes are. in terms of anything that’s hidden by clothes, i would say not really? he has mostly faded self harm scars, but depending on his age they’re probably covered by tattoos.

do they need to wear glasses or contact lenses? how often do they wear them?

i’ve already answered this for tris’ main verse here, so this will pertain to his wealthy au instead! given the nature of his work, tristan actually needs his glasses way more often. like, daily (assuming he has work or school). he tends to wear contacts despite his small prescription, as keeping track of his glasses when he moves around at work is a hassle. he has a horrible habit of falling asleep with them in, and then waking up the next morning with the audacity to be surprised his eye is killing him. he wears his glasses if he’s working from home, or reading of his volition. so similar to in his main verse, if he doesn’t really know you/interact with you regularly, chances are you would never know he wears glasses at all. when it comes to being in a work setting, if he’s not wearing contacts then he’ll just go without. fortunately, his vision isn’t bad (it’s just one eye!) and he’s nearsighted so it isn’t much of an issue anyway.

are their overall preferences towards hair on themselves the same or different towards other people?

so, i answered a little bit of that here, but i’ll expand on it. really, tristan just doesn’t give a shit. i mean, at the end of the day, what someone does or doesn’t do with their body hair has nothing to do with him. as long as they’re like —- trimmed/maintained and (way more importantly) clean, have as much or as little body hair as suits you. for himself, he doesn’t really do much with it, and he wouldn’t hold that expectation on others.

can they braid hair?

he can! all thanks to his little sister. ryan used to pester him growing up until eventually he gave in and learned to braid. you name it, he can do it: french, dutch, fishtail, etc. when he worked as a camp counselor, he often got stuck with a line of little girls insisting that he do their hair the moment they were out of the water. now he has little to no reason to braid anyone’s hair, he may be a little rusty, but he can still do it!

do they have any tattoos? if so, where?

oh god, let me just talk about the prominent ones. i’ve literally been deciding on this exact headcanon for years, and it’s a combination of there being too many to count, but also it being so verse dependent that it drives me absolutely crazy. so here are the ones that (if it’s any branch off of his main verse: band au, sober au, etc) you can always expect to see. he has a minimalist tattoo of the solar system (left) and the constellation sirius (right) on his wrists. there’s a forest piece covering his shoulder blade (left), a little piece of home since he’s decided he’s never going back to maine. nature is king here, as he has this intricate quarter sleeve (right) centered around an owl, and a wolf thigh piece (right). he has the millennium falcon schematics up his (left) forearm. he has more, and i’m sorry i don’t have reference pics but UGH LIFE, you know? anyway, these are THE ones you can count on less we’re writing wealthy or caos tris.

would they get more tattoos? why or why not?

hell yeah, he would! it’s really all a matter of what he wants (he feels like he’s figured out the sweet spot between overthinking/talking yourself out of a tattoo vs. not thinking about it enough) and if he has the funds. he likes his tattoos, the pain isn’t a deterrent, so really there’s nothing stopping him from getting more in the future.

which of their bodily feature(s) is/are the most prominent?

you mean like, how everybody knows that’s big dick bee?? no, i would say the fact that he’s tall and skinny just makes him seem taller, so the fact that he’s typically very stoic can make him come off as a very imposing/intimidating presence. exactly that is why no one fucked with him in high school.

[artemisia-black]

Sirius Black is no playboy/ non-committal fuckboi

To celebrate the start of Scorpio season and in honour of our bestie, I have planned 3 metas about what I think are common misconceptions around his character. This is number three.

In case you’re interested here are the other two:

1. Sirius is not an immature manchild

2. Sirius is canonically very intelligent

This is the third in the series and will focus on the idea that he was a playboy that slept with anything with a pulse.

A quick note before we get started, this post will mention sex so please stop reading if you are under 18.

Also, I’m not shaming anyone who enjoys casual sex.

This post is going to focus on why I don’t think he’s a fuckboy (someone who treats people like objects) or someone who is hyper-sexual (sleeps with everybody).

Unlike my other posts, this theory will be subject to more conjecture.

1.0 The Hogwarts Lothario

My first point, isn’t based on his character but more a caution when writing about his time at Hogwarts.

For much of his time at Hogwarts, Sirius is under the legal age of consent (in the UK this is 16 years old). While I’m not naïve enough to think that teenagers aren’t having relations with each other, I think adults within this fandom should be cautious about writing an underage boy as being very sexual.

2.0 His mummy issues

Often his fractured relationship with Walburga is cited as the reason behind his bed-hopping behaviour and this occurs especially when he’s written as someone who is sexually attracted to women.

Both the terms, ‘mummy issues’ and ‘daddy issues’ are rooted in attachment theory and Freud’s Oedipus theory (which has been severely critiqued over the last century.

And it is worth noting that neither of these terms (daddy/mummy issues) are a formal diagnosis nor have they ever been put in the Diagnostic and Statistical manual for mental health (DSM-5).

Indeed, within psychology circles the concept of ‘daddy issues’ in relation to female sexual behaviour has been heavily critiqued for both victim-blaming and perpetuating misogynistic views of female sexuality.

I have seen posts were Sirius’s mental health/emotional intensity is cited as reasons for his indiscriminate promiscuity.

And the idea linking mental illness to sexual behaviour, is rooted in the concept of ‘female hysteria’. Where women were pathologized for expressing sexual desire and in many cases shut away in asylums.

This insidious idea has morphed into the trope that mentally ill people (particularly women) are good in bed/hypersexual. When in fact many mental illnesses can supress libido. Depression is a key example of this, but also the surge of cortisol (stress hormone) caused by anxiety also supresses sex-drive. To quote my psychopharmacology lecturer,

‘One does not think about sex when running away from a Lion.’

To circle back to the ‘mummy-issues’ idea, in the clinical research available a poor-relationship with a mother most often manifests as misogyny. And it could be argued that this is why he treats his female sexual partners as disposable.

Yet Sirius does not demonstrate any misogynistic tendencies. I have a full-meta on his interactions with women but here are some pertinent parts:

1. In the chapter Padfoot returns, he corrects Ron about Crouch and sides with Hermione.

’She’s got the measure of him better than you have Ron.’

In this quote, he demonstrates a respect for Hermione’s intelligence and doesn’t blindly take the male’s side.

2. His relationship with Lilly

-In SWM, he takes Lilly’s no as a no (unlike James who tries to insist) and in his own way tries to get James to accept it too. The line 'Bad -luck Prongs.’ Is very final and not opening a debate. And indicates a respect for Lilly’s boundaries. And yes, this can be interpreted as him being glad Lilly has gone as he’s possessive of James. But he lets them talk and stands back and gives them space for the majority of the interaction.

-When James asks what Lilly’s problem is, Sirius says 'Reading between the lines, I think she thinks you’re a bit conceited’. So he lays the blame (albeit in a dry teenage boy way) at James’s door not at Lilly’s.

-The letter from Lilly indicates a warm friendship. She admits she’s been crying and shares some emotionally intimate details with him.

Overall, he seems fairly respectful of women in general and there is certainly no indication that he’s a misogynist or has a problem with women.

3.0 His looks

Canonically Sirius is described as ridiculously good-looking (he can’t even die in peace without his ‘once handsome face’ being mentioned). Yet this doesn’t automatically equal a fuckboy. For example, both Cedric Diggory and Bill Weasley are also described as good-looking but aren’t lotharios. In fact, he doesn’t seem that bothered by his looks:

1. When he’s living in the cave, he’s bothering to scrounge newspapers and write to Harry but doesn’t bother to comb his hair or shave. Yes, this is because he’s living in cave, but it also indicates that his personal appearance isn’t a priority.

2. During Snape’s worst memory, James is the one showing off for attention. Sirius is not at all bothered. This can indicate a wide-variety of things but IMO it does not indicate a play-boy who basks in attention.

3. When he both insults/compliments someone it is usually about their intelligence (this indicates that intelligence is what he values above all else).

-He refers to Regulus as ‘soft-enough to believe them’ and a ‘stupid-idiot

- He calls Bertha Jorkins ‘dim’

- He calls Peter ‘ A weak, talentless thing’ – despite Peter being canonically physically unattractive, Sirius targets his intelligence.

Indeed, the only time he targets someone’s looks is Snape and this is because he can’t target his intelligence as Snape is very clever,

‘ And Snape ’s certainly clever and cunning enough to keep himself out of trouble.’ GoF

4. He rebels against his parent’s pureblood beliefs and the idea that

‘To be a Black made you practically royal.’

He shows an aversion to praise for something that’s not earned, so I don’t see him basking in the shallow attention garnered by his looks (much less monopolising on them).

4.0 His sense of honour

As mentioned in my previous meta, he calls his role as godfather, ‘a duty.’

Indeed, the first thing he does when he thinks he’s free is offer Harry a home. He doesn’t peace out to go and party, he offers to be Harry’s father.

Furthermore he is willing to die for his loved ones and it’s not just words. He was prepared to be tortured to mislead the death eaters for Lilly and James. He would have died for Peter. And he died protecting Harry (up until Harry was in danger, he followed orders and stayed in his house). He is intense about his relationships even his fractured one with his family.

He is also intense about his beliefs and bluntly tells Fred,

‘This is how it is — this is why you’re not in the Order — you don’t understand — there are things worth dying for!” OoTP

IMO this is incongruent with a non-committal fuckboi.

5.0 The posters and how he always got the women

5.1 The posters

Often the posters of muggle girls in bikinis are cited as evidence of his fuckboi ways. But IMO they are a fuck you to his parents more than anything else. And here is my evidence:

Sirius is very similar to Walburga in terms of Verbiage and temper:

When Sirius loses his temper (and speaks in all caps) during the shrieking shack scene he calls Peter,

‘ A cringing piece of filth,’

‘‘… this piece of vermin.’

‘‘….his own stinking skin..’

He also says,

‘There’s enough filth on my robes without you touching them Peter.’

I find it interesting that when someone is beyond redemption and no longer worthy of his compassion, he uses words like, ‘filth,’ and ‘vermin.’ As very similar epithets are regularly screamed by Walburga’s portrait,

‘ Filth! Scum! By-products of dirt and vileness.’

Both Sirius and Walburga use language centred around cleanliness when insulting those they feel don’t warrant humanity and are probably very similar in how they express their anger.

And both permanently stick things to the wall, to cause the other anger. In Sirius’s case it was the posters (look Mum I’m gonna pollute the blood line because I fancy muggles) and in Walburga’s it was the portrait.

Note: I have a metaabout how harmful Walburga’s portrait is.

5.1 Lupin’s comment

On Pottermore, Lupin bitterly makes the following observation:

Before he could stop himself, Remus had replied bitterly that he supposed she had fallen for his old friend (‘He always got the women.’

This is about Tonks who is Sirius’s cousins’ daughter, so unless Lupin is cool with incest I think this quote needs to be taken with a large grain of salt. It is true that Sirius got attention, but this quote doesn’t provide enough evidence that he was constantly acting on it. Instead, it is rooted in Remus’s self-pity.

5.0 The circumstances

In the chapter Padfoot returns, he gives a detailed explanation of the paranoia running rampant through wizarding society during the first war. This is not conducive to forming relationships. Nor would people be shagging around with people they didn’t trust or know.

Also not having a wife/life partner or not actively seeking one at 22, is perfectly normal and doesn’t indicate a playboy.

In conclusion, my interpretation of his character is that he’s intense about his personal relationships and casual relationships are just not in his wheelhouse.

Note: I am happy to have a debate about this, but any ranting/abuse will be ignored :D

[stonedregulus]

Do the candy thing but with everyones pet peeves!! (i hate that word)

arrrrgh i’m so excited for this!!!!

my favorite characters’ pet peeves:

regulus: people who don’t follow through - no one is forcing you to make promises, so stop doing it if you can’t or won’t keep them. (looking at you, sirius)

james: perpetually negative people - i know what you’re thinking: “but regulus-” no. stop. listen. regulus can be negative and depressing, but it’s not constant, and a lot of it is them just being a snarky dick. plus james just thinks it’s fucking adorable when they do it. what james hates is those people who ask for advice, and when james gives them really good advice, they just come back with a million reasons it won’t work. or those people who won’t even attempt to do something they really want to do because “they’re just going to fail so why try”. he haaaaaates that. yes, you’re bound to fail with an attitude like that. get away from him. he’s not in the mood for your bullshit and will not pity you.

barty: fake allies- you know who i’m talking about. these are the woke middle-aged white cishet liberals who act enlightened and like to post pictures of themselves with their gay besties on facebook, but have never once actually attempted to do anything helpful for the lgbt community. these are the terfs. the people who love the gays—but only if they’re “the right kind”. the ones who say “yes, but we’re not talking about lgbt right now. you’re distracting from the conversation.” the ones who want to know why we “make everything gay.” the ones who get mad when you jokingly say something is homophobic, and then make you apologize to them because when you said it, they had a crisis thinking they actually did something homophobic. yeah, barty would like to strangle them all.

evan: loud chewing - he understands if you can’t help it, because he is not an ableist, but if you chew loudly he will have to leave the room because he has a visceral reaction to it that he can’t control

remus: nails on a blackboard - OH MY GOD! WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING?! HAVE YOU NEVER HELD CHALK BEFORE? GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER.

sirius: people who will not let things go - when it’s three months later and someone brings up how he wronged them during a new and completely unrelated argument? just LET IT GO! funnily enough he does this to everyone else, but we’re not talking about that.

hugo: slow drivers in the fast lane - i don’t think it’s a secret to anyone that hue has anger issues, and that definitely doesn’t stop when he gets in the car. he has road rage, and his biggest pet peeve is people driving slowly in the fast/passing lane. like, “what are you doing? get the fuck out of the way!” flipping people off road rage. regulus and noah hate letting him drive and just clutch onto anything in reach whilst panicking the entire time they’re in the car.

noah: people who try to talk while he’s listening to music - he knows you can see the headphones. he has already had to pause his music 3 times and has pointedly taken the airpod out of his ear with a very snarky “what?” can you please just leave him alone? the man is just tryin to vibe, yeesh.

[impishtubist]

for the ask meme: "tell me what's wrong" for sirius & harry!

Okay, this one got way out of hand, so I'm putting most of it under a cut. Thank you for the excellent prompt! CW for the Dursleys being terrible to a child, but don't worry, Sirius makes it better :)

18. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

Petunia Dursley opened the door and said, “He doesn’t want to go with you.”

“What?” Sirius stared at her in disbelief. In six years, Harry had never refused a weekend with Sirius. “Why?”

“How am I supposed to know?” she huffed. She reluctantly stepped back to let Sirius in; he couldn’t remember the last time he had been allowed in the house. Whenever he came for Harry, he had to wait on the doorstep until Harry came outside. “I don’t care what you say to him, but get him out of here before Vernon comes home. I will not have him stay here and ruin our weekend.”

Sirius bit down hard on the inside of his cheek and brushed past her. Six years. Six years of holding his tongue (and leaving his wand in his motorbike) around Harry’s foul relatives so they wouldn’t revoke his right to have Harry for a weekend once a month. Six years of playing nice while he slogged through both the wizarding and Muggle court systems, pursuing any avenue that might allow him custody of his godson. He wanted nothing more than to hex the Dursleys into next week, but he was no good to Harry in prison.

He made his way upstairs to the smallest bedroom, where Harry had a bed and a desk and not much else. Sirius had learned early on to keep most of Harry’s things at his own house, lest they be destroyed by his cousin. He knocked on the door.

“Haz, it’s me. Can I come in?” he asked softly.

A tiny voice said, “Yeah.”

Harry was sitting on his bed, his hands folded in his lap, quiet and still the way no seven-year-old should be. Sirius crouched in front of him.

“Hey, buddy,” he whispered, putting a hand on Harry’s knee. “Your aunt says you don’t want to come with me this weekend.”

Harry wouldn’t meet his eyes. He sniffed and shook his head. “No. I’m gonna stay here.”

“You know that I would never force you to do something you don’t want to do,” Sirius said. “But tell me what’s wrong? Please?”

Harry’s lip wobbled, but he shook his head. Sirius’s heart broke for him.

“Harry, please,” he whispered. “Just tell me what’s wrong, and if you still want to stay here, that’s fine. I won’t force you to come with me. I promise.”

He held up his pinky finger, Harry still being at the age where a pinky swear was the most solemn promise one could make. Harry tentatively clasped his finger, then slid off the bed and padded over to his desk. Sirius stood and followed him. Harry pulled open the top drawer.

“I’m sorry, Siri,” he whispered, tears filling his eyes. “I didn’t mean to.”

On Harry’s third birthday, Sirius had given him a framed picture of James and Lily holding their newborn son. It had sat on Harry’s bedside table ever since. Harry loved this picture. He brought it up nearly every time Sirius saw him, wanting to know about the day he was born and the parents he had never known. Sirius had lost count of the number of times he had told Harry the same story, and he’d happily keep telling it for the rest of his life.

The frame was now broken, the glass shattered, the picture ripped in two. Sirius knew at once that this wasn’t Harry’s doing--even if he’d accidentally knocked over the frame, that picture had been ripped by human hands, and Harry would never have done such a thing.

“Harry,” Sirius said, trying to make his voice as gentle as possible, “what happened?”

“I was bad.” Tears were flowing down Harry’s cheeks now. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey.” Sirius sank to his knees so he could properly look Harry in the eyes. “You are not bad, Harry. Who did this to your picture? Was it your cousin?”

Harry shook his head. Sirius’s heart sank. It was one thing for a spoiled, entitled child to ruin Harry’s things, but an adult being purposely cruel to Harry…

Well, what did he expect?

“Was it your aunt?” he pressed, and when Harry shook his head again, he asked, “Your uncle?”

Slowly, very slowly, Harry nodded. Sirius let out a slow breath.

“Tell me what happened,” he said.

“Broke a glass,” Harry whispered, breath hitching as he fought back sobs. “I didn’t mean to. And Uncle Vernon s-said that I should--that I should know how it feels to have my things broken, since I keep--I keep breaking theirs. S-so he broke it. And he--he ripped the picture. Padfoot, I’m sorry.”

“Baby,” Sirius said, pulling Harry into his arms, “you didn’t do anything wrong. Is that why you didn’t want to come with me this weekend? You thought I would be mad at you?”

Harry nodded against his shoulder, and Sirius didn’t think he had anything in his heart left to break, but oh, he was wrong. He sat on the floor and settled Harry in his lap, trying to console the sobbing child while his mind raced. This couldn’t go on. He had spent six years playing by the rules, doing everything the right and proper way, and what had it gotten him? James and Lily’s son having to live with people who hated him, who were cruel to him, who starved him of love and affection. What good did playing by the rules do when Harry was miserable?

Sirius took a deep breath, clarity settling over him and calming his frayed nerves as he came to a decision. He was about to do something very, very stupid, and Dumbledore was going to be furious.

Good.

“Harry,” he said, “how would you like to go camping with me and Uncle Moony this weekend?”

Harry looked up at him, face blotchy, eyes overbright. “R-really?”

“Really, Haz. I’m not mad at you at all, and I still want you to come with me this weekend.” And forever. “You know that special backpack I got you, the one that’s bigger on the inside?”

Harry nodded, wiping his cheeks.

“I want you to get that, and fill it with all your favorite things that you have here. Any shoes or clothes or books or toys.” There weren’t many here at the Dursley house, but Harry had a few belongings that he liked. “It’s going to be a special camping trip, where we take all of our favorite things with us. Okay?”

While Harry hurried off to pack up his things, Sirius went back over to the desk and peered down at the shattered frame and tattered picture. He regretted leaving his wand in his motorbike, because it would have been faster to use it, but a few passes with a wandless repairing spell was enough to restore the picture to pristine condition. He then repaired the frame and slipped the picture back inside.

“Here,” he said, putting it in Harry’s backpack. “We’re going to take that with us as well.”

“Really?” Harry’s eyes were wide.

“Absolutely. You ready to go?”

Harry nodded, and Sirius did one last pass of the room to make sure nothing important had been forgotten. Satisfied, he took Harry’s hand and led him downstairs. A scowling Petunia waited by the door, no doubt to make sure with her own eyes that Harry left.

“We’ll see you Sunday night at the usual time,” she said briskly. Sirius always kept Harry as late as he could get away with, dropping him off at Privet Drive well after dinner.

“See you then,” Sirius said. That gave them a two-day head start--he could work with that.

Outside, he got Harry settled in the sidecar with his helmet on, then swung his leg over the bike and started the engine. When they were high in the clouds over Surrey, Sirius had relaxed enough to start planning ahead, instead of reacting. The first step was to stop at his place in Islington to pack some necessities for them both. Then, the two of them would head to Remus’s and enlist his help, preferably by taking him away with them. Sirius could only imagine how that conversation was going to go.

Hey Moony, I may have just kidnapped our godson and now we probably have to flee the country before they realize what I've done and start looking for us, want to come with?

Beside him, Harry gave a whoop of laughter, and Sirius grinned. Whatever happened now, it would be worth it, as long as Harry was happy.

[tumbledfreckles]

Ooohh! What about Jily/Marauders drunken shenanigans? *wiggles eyebrows mischievously* 😏😏😏😝

Max I don't even know how long ago you sent me this, I know it's been too long. But I was waiting for inspiration, and this isn't quite drunken, but it is a party and they've had some drinks so I'm hoping it's close enough, because I love it and it rounds out my three drabbles this weekend and uses my trope of the moment - names. I hope you enjoy it.

“He’s just so oblivious.”

“I know.”

“He’s infuriating.”

“I know.”

“It’s like he doesn’t even have a fucking clue.”

“Lily, I know.”

Lily cast a sidelong glance at Sirius, who sat next to her on the windowsill, on the edge of one of the wildest parties that the Gryffindor Common Room had seen in her seven years there. To say they’d gone nuts after winning the House Cup was an understatement of epic proportions.

“Sorry,” she huffed with a sigh. “I know you’ve heard this before.”

“From both sides,” SIrius shook his head darkly. “You two are driving me crazy.”

“It’s him!” Lily protested. “You say he feels the same, but why won’t he do anything about it?”

“After you turned him down all those times?” Sirius raised an eyebrow. “Why don’t you do something about it?”

“After I turned him down all those times?” She met his pointed gaze with one of her own.

“Fair enough.” Sirius thought for a second. His face lit with a grin. “Wait, I know.”

Lily felt afraid.

Very, very afraid.

“I feel like I shouldn’t ask.”

Sirius tutted, “Now, now, don’t act like you're not desperate for my mate there.”

They both turned toward the bloke in question, clear across the common room, who was currently high fiving Remus as they won their third game of beer pong against the Prewett twins. His smile lit up his face, his eyes danced and there was just the slightest flash of toned abdominals as he ran his hand through his hair, pushing the silky locks out of his face. He caught Lily’s eye across the room and winked.

Her head ducked, cheeks flushing even as heat pooled in areas much lower down.

“Evans?” Sirius was watching her, daring her to contradict him. “Still waiting.”

Lily slumped gloomily back against the window. “Yeah, alright, fine, have at it.”

When Sirius was finished with his idea, Lily had an eyebrow of her own to raise.

“You think that will work?”

He shook his head at her uncertainty. “He’ll lose his shit.”

“He probably won’t even notice.”

“Oh, he’ll notice. I give him three minutes before he pounces.”

Lily was unconvinced. “It’ll take at least five.”

“Place a wager?”

“What are your terms?”

“You get Marlene to go on a date with me.”

Lily scoffed openly, “Why do you think I can get her to do that?”

“Because she’s your best friend.” Sirius said it like it was obvious.

“Ask her yourself.”

“Is that your terms?”

Lily crossed her arms over her chest. “Fine. Sure. Those are my terms. If it works, I’ll get her to go out with you. If it doesn’t, you have to ask Marlene out. Seriously.” She pointed a finger, stabbing his chest as his mouth opened. “Don’t say it.”

“Fine,” Sirius rubbed his sternum. “Ruin all my fun. Do we have an agreement?”

She took his outstretched hand, “Pleasure doing business with you.”

“Likewise. Now, off you go.”

She was subtle about it. At least, she hoped she was. Lily moved slowly across the room towards the beer pong table. She took her time. Chatted to various fellow students and friends. Got herself a new drink, smirking to herself as she allowed Peter to spike her butterbeer. Liquid courage and all that.

“Who’s winning?” she asked as she sidled up to Mary, along the edge of the table.

“Our boys,” Mary inclined her head toward Remus and James.

Our boys. She liked the sound of that. Mary only meant it as in their fellow Gryffindors, compared to the Hufflepuffs of Gideon and Fabian, but Lily liked it all the same.

“Insulted you even have to ask, Evans,” James chidded her, as he watched Remus scull a full cup of butterbeer.

“Apologies, James, I should have known,” Lily felt her breath catch in her throat, making her words quiet.

He heard them anyway.

James barely seemed to register that the ball he’d just thrown had bounced off the rim of the cup he’d aimed for. He definitely didn’t notice the Prewetts crowing across the table as Gideon lined up his next shot. Nor did he spare Remus a glance as his friend sighed and shot him a pained look.

“What did you just say?” James spun to face Lily, heedless to the game, the people around them.

“I said I was sorry for doubting you,” Lily fought hard to keep the smile off her face.

“That wasn’t what you said.” He took the beer that Remus forced into his hand, Fabian’s turn having been a success. It stayed in his hand as he took several steps toward her.

“Well, no, not word for word,” Lily shifted her weight back, her heart rate increasing as she saw the flash in his eyes, the smirk on his face.

“James, it’s your -” Remus was cut off as James thrust the cup back at him.

“Get Peter.”

“We’ll lose, we’re on a streak, you can’t -”

“I don’t care. Get Peter,” James didn’t even look to see how his friend reacted, his eyes fixed on hers.

Lily swallowed, trying to force her heart back into her chest as she took more steps back, away from Mary, away from the table, away from the throng of beer pong enthusiasts.

“Not like you to give up a game so easily,” she tried to jest, but the words came out soft, too soft.

James’ lips twitched, just slightly, just enough to relax her shoulders. “Depends on the reason.”

“What was the reason?”

“Better game started.”

Lily stopped in her retreat, not moving even as his toes lined up with hers. Her head tilted to the side as she looked up at him. “This a game, is it?”

James shook his head, “Not really. Not to me.”

“Neither,” she was reduced to a whisper as his hand curved around her jaw, fingers spanning her neck, thumb brushing across her cheek.

“Say it again,” he whispered, forehead almost on hers.

“I’m sorry for-”

“Not that,” he cut her off harshly, his other hand squeezing at her hip where she hadn’t even realised he held her. “The part where you said my name.”

Lily looked at him, at the hazel that danced with gold, at the earnestness, the longing in his expression, mixed with hope and light and lust. She looked at him and realised everything else had faded away.

“James.”

She didn’t wait for him to respond, pushing straight up into his arms, threading her hands into the soft silky hair she’d admired to bring him down to her. He needed no such encouragement, meeting her exhale on his inhale, taking the breath from her lungs their mouths sealed, a perfect fit. It was hot and damp, and her skin tingled everywhere it met with his. James sighed into her mouth, his tongue tracing the edge of her inner lip before finding hers to play with.

“Shit,” she whispered, when they finally pulled apart, though neither moved very far.

“That bad, huh?” James leant back toward her. “I can try again.”

“No,” Lily shook her head, pressing another three kisses at least to his lips before she could pull away again. “No, not you.”

“Then what?” James’ hand had found it’s way under her top, and began traced to skin along the edge of her trousers, raising goosebumps along it’s path.

It made it difficult to focus, to say the least. She let her fingers trail down his neck to squeeze the defined muscles of his shoulder, was gratified by the groan that escaped him, that she wasn’t the only one feeling so much right then. It made it easier to think.

“I’ve got to figure out how to get Marlene to go on a date with Sirius, that’s all.” Lily looked up at James, smiling invitingly. “How do you feel about double dating?”

[engie-ivy]

Orion Black offers Remus more money than he could've dreamed of. The only condition? Stay away from his son.

(This got way fluffier than I anticipated towards the end)

A slow smile spreads across Orion Black’s face as he writes something down on a piece of paper, and slides it over the broad, wooden desk towards Remus. “Read the number on that paper,” he says confidently. “And tell me again how much you love him.”

To Put a Price On Love

“How much?”

Remus hardly dares to move under the intensity of Orion Black’s scrutinizing gaze. The man is sitting behind his polished wooden writing desk, one large hand holding a pen hovering above some sort of notebook.

Remus is visiting the Black Manor for a couple of days, finally meeting his boyfriend’s family. Much to Remus’ dismay, his boyfriend had been reluctant to take him home, but after some insisting on Remus’ part, he finally agreed. After the first day of staying at the posh manor, Remus had changed his goal of making his boyfriend’s parents like him, to making his boyfriend’s parents not kill him in his sleep.

Orion and Walburga Black are stiff, formal and standoffish people. Their noses are constantly scrunched up in distaste, and their lips pressed in a thin line. They hardly say a word to Remus, and Remus hasn’t once seen them smile. He honestly can’t even imagine it. Where his boyfriend’s silver grey eyes are bright and sparkling with vibrant energy, Walburga Black’s eyes are cold and empty, while Orion Black’s gaze is hard as steel.

That gaze is now intently fixed on Remus, and Remus feels like he’s being weighed and found wanting.

To say he was wary when Orion Black suddenly placed a large hand on his shoulder and asked him, no, commanded him, to come to his study, would be an understatement.

“Ex- excuse me?” Remus stammers.

“What amount do I need to write down to get you to stay away from my son?” Orion Black says slowly.

Remus glances down at the notebook, that he sees is, indeed, a check book, and back up at Orion Black’s face. “I... I think there’s some kind of misunderstanding.”

“I’ve been here before, Lupin, was it?” Orion Black says, with a hint of impatience in his voice. “Everyone has a price, so why don’t you save us both the time, and tell me yours?”

“That’s not... I’m not...” Remus sputters. “I love your son!”

Orion Black smiles wryly at him. “So did many of the others. But as the number got higher, they realised they didn’t love him quite so much after all.”

Remus feels a wave of anger course through his body. He hasn’t even told Sirius he loves him yet. How dare this man just brush off his feelings like that!

“Look,” Remus says. “If you don’t approve of me for your son, then I suppose there’s little I can do about that, but you cannot make a situation go your way just by throwing some money at it!”

“That’s where you’re wrong, boy,” Orion Black says sharply. “Let me give you a free lesson here. There’s nothing money can’t buy, as long as you have enough of it. As the amount I’m offering increases, this so-called ‘love’ will decrease. You don’t have to like it, but that’s just how the world works.”

“Why is it worth so much to you?” Remus asks. “Have I somehow offended you?”

Orion Black lets out a humourless laugh, that doesn’t make his eyes look any less like ice cold steel. “Believe me, boy. If you had offended me, I would’ve used a different way than paying you to get rid of you.”

It’s a threat, and a barely veiled one. Remus feels a chill creep up his spine.

“No,” Orion Black continues undisturbed. “It has nothing to do with you personally.” He sighs. “If Sirius wants to be rebellious and... have relations with the occasional boy, then so be it, but I’ll make sure his provocative behaviour won’t go too far by timely dissolving these delusional attachments. Whatever Sirius has to get out of his system, in the end he shall marry Druella Rosier, as has been promised.”

“That’s ridiculous!” Remus exclaims. “You’d bully your son into a marriage that’ll make him miserable?” Remus shakes his head. “I want no part in this.”

A slow smile spreads across Orion Black’s face as he writes something down on a piece of paper, and slides it over the broad, wooden desk towards Remus. “Read the number on that paper,” he says confidently. “And tell me again how much you love him.”

Remus glances down at the paper, and gasps.

“So, how much did he offer you?”

Sirius is standing in the doorway of the guestroom, leaning against the doorframe, arms folded over his chest. He’s watching Remus pack his bags with an expressionless face.

Remus doesn’t look up from his attempt to stuff his jumpers in the bag. “Hundred thousand.”

Sirius whistles through his teeth. “That’s a new record! What did you do? Did you tell him you love me? That always seems to drive up the price a bit.”

“I did,” Remus replies flatly, still not looking up from his packing.

“Fabian did too, but still, he only managed to get to sixty thousand,” Sirius says. “Gilderoy tried to play the ‘but I love him!’-card, but he was so insincere, even my father wasn’t fooled.” He lets out a bitter laugh. “I guess you don’t have much of a negotiating position when your eyes light up with greed the moment you see a check book. Caradoc never claimed to love me. I think I preferred that most,” he adds pensively. “He never pretended we were something we weren’t. Just took the money and left. But then again, I don’t think he even got to twenty thousand,” he finishes with a shrug.

Remus just looks at him for a while, before turning back to his packing.

Sirius follows his movements. “Hey, that’s mine!” He exclaims when Remus picks up a leather jacket and puts it in one of the bags. When Remus doesn’t respond and proceeds to fold up Sirius’ old band t-shirts, Sirius grabs his arm, forcing Remus to look at him. “What are you doing?!”

“I’m leaving!” Remus shouts angrily. “And I’m taking you with me! I won’t allow you to stay with these people who won’t let you be who you are, and who think they can force you into a marriage you don’t want by bribing the people you care about to abandon you!” He takes a deep breath. “Besides,” he adds dryly. “I doubt your father will let me stay in his house after telling him to shove his check book up his arse.”

“But why would you...” Sirius shakes his head. “What’s going on, Remus? Please, I need you to explain.”

Remus’ expression softens upon seeing Sirius’ wide eyes, filled with a mixture of hope and disbelief. “I didn’t take his money, Sirius,” Remus says softly. “I meant it when I told him I love you, and no amount of money will be worth losing you over.”

Sirius’ eyes frantically search Remus’ face, and he seems to find some sort of confirmation there, because the next moment, he flings himself at Remus. He clutches to him and presses his face in his hair. “I wanted to believe... I wanted to trust... I wanted to think that you’d never.. But I’ve been disappointed so many times before. I started to think I just wasn’t...”

“You’re worth it, Sirius,” Remus whispers. “You’re worth a thousand times more than any amount of money. They’re all idiots. Everyone who chose money over you. And you know what? I’m glad for it, because now I get to have you.”

“You have me, Remus. You do.” Sirius pulls away slightly, so he can look Remus in the eyes, while tears are shining on his cheeks.

Remus brushes the tears away with his thumb and smiles. “So, are you ready to leave your luxurious manor with servants on your beck and call, to come live with me in a cramped flat with no idea how we’re going to pay rent next month?”

Sirius smiles back. “I’ve never been more ready for anything.”

[pinkandblueblurbs]

hi again! im the one who requested adult!remus x wife!reader angsty smut. for angst; remus always signs up for dangerous missions in the order and reader gets angry because she thinks he is not caring her feelings/thoughts, she always thinks he is going to get hurt or die on those missions and she doesnt want him to go?

okay baby, ‘m giving this a shot... never done angsty smut lmao we’ll see how this goes

Golden Era Remus Lupin x Fem!Reader. Angst, mentions of the war, mentions of death, worry, gentle sex, loving sex, praise, marriage, uhhh idk what else lmk if i missed anything

word count: 1.5k

“Did you even think about me?!” You spit the words like venom, approaching your husband who had walked in the door moments ago, thankfully returning safely from a dangerous mission. Thus far, he’s met your irate inquiries about why he’d agree to such a perilous task with ‘it’s the right thing to do’ and ‘everyone has to do their part’, and it’s driving you mad that he doesn’t seem to understand where you’re coming from.

“Y/n, love, what do you mean? Of course I did.” He responds with slight exasperation, walking over to you, reaching out with the clear intention to cup your face in his hand. Too agitated for such affection, you turn away.

“I mean did you even think about how worried I get about you? It has me worried sick to know what you’re out there doing.” Your voice shakes slightly with emotion, the indicating sting of oncoming tears burns your optics. “I can hardly sleep at night as I lay wondering if I’ll ever get to see you again, Remus.”

“Y/n...” Remus starts, and though there’s remorse in his tone, you know you won’t like his next words. “This is a war, people-” 

“Don’t tell me that people die as if I don’t know!” You spit, whipping around to face your husband and meet his slightly shocked expression. “I know that people die, and I know that you’re willing to give your life for this war, but I’m not willing to lose you!” Tears fall freely down the expanse of your cheeks now, and your voice breaks as you add a choked “not yet.” 

You can tell this gets through to Remus by the softening of his features- his brows, previously furrowed with defensiveness, relax, and his eyes, which had been narrow with chagrin, grow gentle.

“Bunny” he starts, guilt lacing his tone “you don’t have to lose me- you won’t lose me. I’m sorry, you’re right, I wasn’t thinking about you the way I should.” With this admittance you allow him to reach out and hold your face tenderly, his warm calloused palm a familiar comfort against your tear stained cheek. “I was thinking like a single man, like I did when I had nothing. But now I have you, and I care about you more than anything.” He murmurs, thumb rubbing tenderly at the skin of your cheek.

“I just-“ you choke a bit as you stare into his kind, warm eyes, and you lower your voice to a meek whisper. “I just can’t bear the thought of you dying, Remus. I don’t know what I’d do if rather than you coming through the door it was Sirius, or Molly, o-or Arthur with bad news.”

“Shh” Remus comforts, leaning down to rest his forehead against yours, eyes locked on yours. His breath tickles your lips as he speaks. “That won’t happen, I won’t let it. I’ll be more careful, my love, I promise you.”

“You do?” You murmur, gazing up at him with glassy eyes. “You won’t take so many dangerous missions?”

“No, I won’t. I’ll help in other ways as much as I can, I’ll only put myself at risk when it is expressly necessary. You have my word.” He whispers back, words sure and genuine. You give him a watery smile.

“Good. Because I love you, and I need you right here with me.” You whisper, adoration swelling in your heart.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Remus responds, tilting his head downwards to connect his lips to yours. The familiarity of the kiss allows you to finally feel at ease- finally assures you that your love is home, and that he’s safe. Your hands come up to grasp at the sides of his head, holding him to you as you deepen the kiss, unwilling to let him go after having so wretchedly feared you’d never get to kiss him again.

His tongue explores your mouth as his hands find your waist, and you drink in his distinctive flavor and the acquainted tendencies of his movements. You’re entirely wrapped up in one another as all your emotions- your worry and your anger and your sadness and your love- pour out from your mouth and into his.

“I need you” you finally murmur as you pull away, panting slightly thanks to the oxygen-robbing kiss. Remus simply reconnects his lips to yours and guides you towards the bedroom in a joint sloppy, stumbling maneuver.

Eventually you make it to your small room in a jumbled mess of limbs, both of you eagerly removing your clothes, separating from one another as infrequently as possible in doing so.

Once you’re both left nude, mouths still connected in a passionate snog, he walks you over to the bed, pushing you onto the mattress with his body so he winds up above you, arms braced on either side of your head.

“Please, Remus.” You gasp out into his mouth, the words no more than a whisper as he’s the only one they’re meant for.

“Shhh, I’ve got you.” He assures, voice a gentle rumble, though with his lust it carries a deliciously low reverberation. His lips leave fleeting ghosts of kisses- starting at the inner corner of your mouth and moving out over your cheek to your jaw, then down to your neck, making you shudder at the intimate sensation. Lower, you feel his hand move between your bodies, prompting you to spread your legs and allow him access to your center.

Well-practiced fingers quickly part your dampening folds and find their place on your sensitive bud, drawing slow, enticing circles there that have your exhales turning into gentle gasps.

“Th-that feels so good” you breathe out, wide eyes locked with Remus’s own, pupils nearly engulfing the hue of his irises.

“Always wanna make you feel good, my precious bunny” he murmurs back, hand leaving your clit to grasp his shaft. You feel the head of his cock bump between your folds as he positions it at your entrance, and your hands find the broad expanse of his shoulders to grip as he slowly sheathes himself inside you.

“Thaaaat’s it, there you go” he whispers the praise as he watches your expression- jaw slackened, eyes wide, brows furrowed, pleasure tangible in your features. The stretch of his cock is deliciously familiar, the way he feels nestled inside you makes you feel whole.

“Kiss me” you gasp out desperately, needing all the contact you can get. Remus is quick to comply, leaning down to press his lips to yours in a kiss that is somehow tender yet passionate.

He thrusts into you, deep and languid, pulling pleasured whimpers from your lips that spill into his mouth. Flowers of pleasure bloom in you as his cock drags through your channel, caressing the velvety walls and prodding at that special spot that has butterflies coming to life in your stomach.

“I love you” he murmurs, the words so muffled by your adjacent lips that you feel it more than you hear it.

“I love you, Remus” you respond, hands moving to his back, nails digging into his skin slightly as you cling to him, never wanting to part. Your mind has grown bleary with emotion, your heart swells with love and lust alike, and your blabbered words exemplify your near-orgasmic haze. “I love you, I need you”

“I’m right here” Remus assures, voice a bit tight now as his hips continue to snap into yours gently, his body rocking above you. “I’m right here, my love. Let go for me, I’ve got you.”

At that you feel yourself tip over the edge. With a gasp of Remus’s name you’re falling through the heights of pleasure, the butterflies in your stomach bursting into a blissful swarm. Your grip tightens on Remus’s back, and you distantly hear his whispered praises of “that’s it” “good girl” “so pretty”.

Mere moments after you cum, when pleasurable aftershocks still wrack your body, you feel Remus’s hips stutter, coaxed to his own release by your fluttering walls. He grunts lowly as he spills inside you, his balmy forehead coming to rest on yours, warming you along with his hot seed that shoots inside your channel.

Your panting breaths cascade over one another’s lips as he falls still above you, his perspiring form flush with yours as you stare at one another, minds pleasantly clouded in a post-orgasmic haze. All fear and worry is gone- replaced by tranquility and love as you lay together. You wrap your arms around him fully, holding him down on your chest, unwilling to allow him to get up and clean you both off as he usually does.

“Stay with me.” You whisper, nuzzling into the crook of his neck.

“I will.” He responds, pressing a kiss to your temple. “I’m not going anywhere.”

taglist: @whizzbeesdukes @snapesdaughsjm @kyleed24 @woman-with-no-name @barneswidow @randomoutsiders @fandom-puff @spxllcxstxr @frecklesandfirecrackers @layaaaa @wholebigboxofyikes @fific7 @sunrisefairy @pandaxnienke @weasleyposts @sw33tgirl @amourtentiaa @emmaev @drachoesimp @fjorelaant @st0nesnglitter @padfootswife

[fruitcoops]

okay so we all love dad dumo and he's an incredible parent but even dumo isn't perfect. Could we maybe have dumo snapping at logan (or sirius, if it strikes your fancy, but i love dumo+logan dynamics) and then apologizing for it like a parent actually f*cking should

Oof, yes. Combined with asks for Sirius and Logan bonding, as well as some pre-Cap and James. SW credit goes to @lumosinlove!

TW for parental figure disappointment

The car rumbled. Dumo’s hands squeaked on the wheel as he flexed his fingers. Logan felt like he was going to throw up.

Can we turn around real quick? No, too vague. Can we go home so I can use the bathroom? No, he’ll say I can wait another ten minutes. I forgot my phone at home? No, he saw me put it in my pocket. Logan ran through every possible way of asking to go back to the Dumais house without giving away his dilemma; with each scenario, they grew further from where he needed to be.

“Hey, Dumo?” he began quietly, swallowing around his dry mouth. What was it his father always said? Honesty is the best policy. “We need to go back to your house for a moment.”

“We’re already running late,” Dumo said, not even sparing him a glance in the rearview mirror. The traffic around them was a mess. “If we go back, we’ll miss the first part of warmups.”

“I know, but it’s kind of important.”

“So is the game. If it’s your wallet, you don’t need it right—”

“I left my skates by the front door.”

Dead silence filled the car as Dumo slowed to a stop at the fourth red light. Logan’s heart sank and his stomach crawled into his throat. “What?”

“I left my skates by the front door,” he repeated, staring at his hands. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking—”

“Tabernak, Logan!” Dumo snapped. He felt something inside him wither and die. “First the nap, then forgetting to wash your jersey, and now you left your fucking skates behind? What’s going on in your head? You are an adult now with responsibilities, and it’s your job to keep track of your shit.”

“I know,” Logan said quietly.

Dumo huffed. “Clearly you don’t! Do you just not care? Is that it?”

“I care.”

“This isn’t a college team, Logan.” Dumo’s accent grew harsh around his name. It had been a bad day for him—Adele came down with a nasty cold just after Celeste left to visit her parents for the weekend, and there was always an added pressure with home games. Logan knew that, and he knew he should have been paying better attention.

“I know.”

Dumo muttered a curse under his breath and pulled onto a side road, then swore again when his duffle bag slid in the passenger seat. Logan closed his eyes; there was no way they would make it all the way to the house and back to the rink in time for pre-game rituals. Damn it, Tremblay. What were you thinking?

They drove the rest of the way in silence. Dumo parked the car with a quiet “go”, and Logan hurried inside with a slight nod to the babysitter as he grabbed his skates before slinking back to the car with his head hung low.

“I’m really disappointed in you,” Dumo said when they reached the freeway again.

“I’m sorry.”

He received no response.

They won the game despite skipping all their superstitions, no thanks to Logan. He played like shit; Arthur barely gave him four shifts the whole night. Finn shot him a concerned look as he rinsed off and slipped back into his street clothes, but Logan didn’t have the energy to confront both his best friend and the upsetting feelings connected to the aforementioned best-friend-slash-secret-crush. If he tried, he’d certainly end up doing something stupid.

He packed his things, slung his bag over his shoulder, and followed Dumo out to the car like a stray dog with his tail between his legs. “I really am—”

“I don’t want to hear it,” Dumo interrupted as they pulled out of the parking lot. Logan pressed his lips together. “Are you hungry?”

Starving. “Kinda.”

“I’ll heat up some leftover lasagna when we get back to the house. Will you pay the babysitter and make sure the kids are in bed?”

“Sure.”

“Thank you.”

Logan ground his teeth around the steady ache building in his chest—he hated disappointing people in general, but it was a whole different story with Dumo. He was his second father, the person Logan admired most on the team. He gave him a home and a substitute family to ease the homesickness, and was always there to cheer him on. And Logan let him down.

They went through their nightly routine silently, which was a sharp contrast to their usual banter. Marc and Louis refused to go to bed at first, nearly bringing Logan to tears in his frustration, but he eventually got them settled down and tucked in. By some miracle, both the girls were already asleep.

“I’m going to call Celeste,” Dumo finally said as Logan unloaded the dishwasher. He nodded without a word, not trusting his voice.

As soon as the dishwasher was full and running, Logan took his phone out and dialed the only person he wanted to hear from. It rang twice before connecting. “Hello?”

“Hey.” His voice cracked and he cleared his throat. “Hey, Cap, what’s up?”

“Not much.” Sirius sounded confused, and more than a little tired. “Ça va?”

Logan’s eyes burned. “Not bad. Do you have a minute?”

There was a rustling noise from the other end, followed by the clink of keys. “You’re at Dumo’s, right?”

“Oui.”

“I’ll be there in ten.”

“Thanks,” he managed around his tight throat. “See you soon.”

Hushed voices came from the living room and Logan padded down the hall, knocking gently on the doorframe. Dumo looked up and furrowed his brow. “Un moment, mon amour. Are you alright?”

“Sirius is coming by in ten. We’re going to hang out for a bit, if that’s okay.”

“Tell him I say hello.” Without another word, Dumo uncovered the base of his phone and returned to his conversation. Logan nodded and headed back out into the hall, swallowing down the tears forming behind his eyes.

Ten minutes turned out to be seven minutes—Logan was simultaneously flattered and concerned—and a soft knock startled him out of his thoughts. Sirius already looked worried when the front door swung open. “What happened? Is everyone okay? Did something happen to Celeste?”

“She’s fine. Dumo says hi.” And he’s horribly disappointed in me. Logan took several deep breaths through his nose to control the tremor in his voice and Sirius gave him a worried once-over. “Can we drive around for a bit?”

“Of course.”

For all of his bluster and general brooding vibe, Sirius continued to be the king of empathy and (in Logan’s opinion) a secret mind-reader. The second his arm draped across Logan’s shoulders and held him close as they walked down the sidewalk, he felt some of the pressure in his chest release. “Sorry about the late call,” he sniffled. It was a cold night—the snot threatening to drip from his nose was frigid already. “I just—I needed to get out for a minute.”

“À tout moment.” Any time. Logan didn’t feel deserving of that kindness after the mess he had been on the ice. The heaters kicked on as soon as Sirius started the car and Logan closed his eyes, leaning back into the warm seat. “Can you tell me what happened?”

“It’s so stupid.”

“Doesn’t sound like it.”

Logan took a moment to breathe before shaking his head. “I forgot my skates. We were already running late, and I forgot my fucking skates at the house.”

Sirius hummed, but said nothing.

“It’s—Dumo has been having such a horrible day.” Tears clogged his throat again. “And I took a nap earlier because I stayed up late last night like an idiot, and Adele’s sick so he had all the kids and no help while he was trying to get ready, and then I overslept so it was already going to be rushed and forgot to clean my jersey and then—and then I forgot my skates. God, I’m so stupid.”

“Don’t say that.”

“It’s true.”

“It’s not.” Logan wanted to kick him for being so infuriatingly patient. Sirius glanced at him out of the corner of his eye. “That’s not why you’re upset, though.”

“He’s—” Logan broke off and swiped the first tear away with his sweatshirt cuff. “He said he was disappointed in me.”

“Ah.”

“It’s such a stupid thing to be upset about.”

Sirius sighed through his nose and pulled into the parking lot of a 24-hour Taco Bell, then turned off the car and faced Logan with one eyebrow raised. “Stop doing that.”

“Doing what?”

“Belittling yourself.”

“Okay, Heather,” Logan snorted. Sirius reached over and flicked him on the forehead. “Hey!”

“You forgot your skates. Big deal. We’ve all been there.”

Logan shot him a glare. “You’ve never forgotten your skates.”

“Yes, I have. My very first game with the Lions, actually. Except I didn’t realize it until we were already at the rink.”

“Did Dumo drive you back?”

“The whole damn way. He was mad as hell, but he did it.” Sirius’ face softened, and he poked Logan gently on the thigh. “Stop kicking yourself for this one. It sounds like it was a bad day for you both.”

“I still feel like shit.”

Sirius shrugged. “I bet. Disappointing Dumo is the worst feeling ever.”

“He wouldn’t even let me apologize.”

“He will.”

They sat in silence for a full minute as Logan tried to find the right words. “How did you deal with it? Letting people down. It feels like I’m drowning, sometimes.”

“Really, really poorly,” Sirius half-laughed, crossing his ankle over his knee. “It wasn’t until I was named captain that I started accepting that people weren’t lying when they forgave me for fucking up.”

“Why?”

“Believe it or not, the people I was around as a kid didn’t make a habit of apologizing to me when they did something wrong.”

Logan looked up from the faded letters on his sweatshirt sleeve and sniffled. “Thanks for bringing me out here.”

“Pas de problem. I figured you could use some company outside the house.”

“You’re the best.”

“I try.”

“You succeed.” You’re like a brother to me, actually. “Is this what James did for you?”

“No,” Sirius laughed. Affection took over his face, bright even in the dim light from the streetlamps. “No, he snuck me onto the roof of the rink with massive amounts of junk food and stayed with me until the imposter syndrome faded. It was fantastic, but we nearly got hypothermia several times in the winter. This is much more comfortable.”

“Thanks for helping me keep all my fingers and toes,” Logan said wryly. He lapsed back into silence and folded his forearms on the dashboard, sighing at the pleasant stretch of his back. “I know I have to go back eventually, but I’m scared.”

“Honestly, Logan, I bet he’s already forgiven you. He knows it was an accident.”

“But what if he doesn’t?” The words came out as little more than a whisper. Sirius’ hand rested hesitantly between his shoulder blades until Logan leaned back into it, then began rubbing gentle circles.

“He does,” Sirius said softly. “And he loves you so much.”

Logan sniffed back more tears. “Really?”

“Ouais. You’ve been living with him for nine months now, and he’s so proud of how far you’ve come.”

“How do you know?”

“Because he told me. Last week, after your hat trick. People fuck up, Logan, but that doesn’t mean they’re unforgivable. You don’t need to flay yourself for one bad day.”

Logan shut his eyes with a slow exhale and buried his face in his forearms. “I think I’m ready to go back now.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

“D’accord. Buckle your seatbelt.”

He straightened up and stretched, wincing at the crack of his back. Sirius drove out of the parking lot and hummed under his breath to the radio, but Logan didn’t miss the careful glances out of the corner of his eye. “You don’t need to worry about me,” he finally said. “I’ll be okay.”

“I know,” Sirius said casually, though he looked like he was holding something back. Logan didn’t press; Sirius would talk in his own time if he wanted to. He opened his mouth, paused, then sighed. “But I do worry about you.”

“Why?”

“Because.”

Thank you, Captain Black, for the most media answer of all time. “You really don’t have to.”

Sirius parked the car and leaned his head back against the seat. “You’re my friend, and I care about you, so I worry.”

Logan blinked at him. “You care about me?”

“Obviously,” Sirius muttered. Even in the darkness of the street, his cheeks were pink. “Now go on, you've got someone waiting for you.”

“I care about you, too.”

“Out of my car, Tremblay.” Despite his words, a smile quirked at the corner of Sirius’ mouth. Logan socked him lightly on the arm and opened the door, shivering in the night air as it bit through his hoodie.

“Drive safe, Cap.”

“I will.”

The walk to the front door felt less like a trip to the gallows and more like coming home; Logan felt his muscles relax, and saw the curtains shift as someone moved away from the window. Dumo opened the door before he could even knock.

“I’m sorry,” they said in unison. Logan raised his eyebrows and Dumo opened the door the rest of the way, ushering him inside.

The moment the door closed behind him, Dumo wrapped him in a hug. “I’m so sorry for what I said earlier, Logan. You made a mistake, and I shouldn’t have come down hard on you.”

“I’m sorry I made us late,” Logan said into his soft shirt. “And for not helping earlier. It won’t happen again.”

“All is forgiven.” Dumo patted him on the back of the shoulder and held him at arm’s length with a sad smile. “I should have kept a better handle on my temper. You don’t deserve to be spoken to like that.”

Logan bit back the urge to say it’s okay or I deserved it and instead pulled him in for another hug. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. I didn’t realize how much you’ve helped me until today.”

Dumo made a quiet sound and held him tighter. “It’s a gift to have you here.”

Logan squeezed his eyes shut as a wave of emotion rolled in his heart. “There is nowhere I would rather be,” he whispered. They stayed like that for a long moment, swaying slightly, before Dumo stepped back.

“Get some rest. We have early practice tomorrow.” He mussed Logan’s hair and gave him a nudge toward the stairs. “Bonne nuit, mon fils.”

Mon fils. Logan’s breath caught for a second and he smiled. “Bonne nuit.”

[blessednereid]

August

WC: <4100

Mentions: Sexual innuendos, cursing, slut-shaming, Affairs/Adultery, Lying, Deceit

A/N: It’s an AU, basically where James and Lily don’t end up together, and the War ends before they graduate. Snape and Peter don’t become death eaters IG but that doesn’t really matter later on. Unedited, but it’s the last day of August so I gotta get it in NOW.

Pairings: James Potter x Reader, James Potter x Lily Evans, (future) Lily Evans x Reader

~~~

Y/N

*

Salt air

*

You and your boyfriend of two months are sitting on the shoreline of the shared beach near your houses. You’ve lived in the same neighbourhood for as long as you can remember, but never really noticed each other until your formative years. And the chemistry was undeniable, which is what led you to that precise moment.

“Hey, James… What do you think is going to happen when we go away for school?” you ask meekly.

Being a Beauxbaton student is as luxurious as it sounds. You never have to put up with brutish and grotesque boys in pissing contests, and while there may be catty classmates, there’s no fighting over boys. No heartbreak. No major drama.

That being said, that didn’t mean that none of you had boyfriends. You all had your fair share of suitors from Durmstrang or Hogwarts or some other school in the country. And yours was James Potter.

He is the epitome of a perfect boyfriend. He remembers small dates, like the exact day your cat died, and knows exactly what you need.

You don’t think you’ve loved anyone as much as you’ve loved him.

And that’s precisely why you’re so afraid to lose him.

You knew that the long distance between you would be difficult. What started as a summer fling quickly became something more, and James changed from a friend who could make you laugh your guts out to the boy that makes your heart sing.

He has his arms wrapped around you like a comforting blanket, and you know exactly what he’s thinking. The distance isn’t going to change my love for you.

But he doesn’t realize that it’ll change the amount he can express. And that’s going to be frustrating. You’ve only been together for a little while. So how would this even work?

“We just have to trust each other, darling. I love you, and you love me. That’s all that matters.”

“But James-”

“No buts,” he states stoically. “Nothing is going to change this. You just need to trust me, trust that this is going to work.”

James

*

And the rust on your door

*

He had told you exactly what he meant. That he loved you, and that you could trust him. He knew that he loved you, and that love had taken root in the deepest part of his heart. So when he opened the door to Sirius, Remus, and Peter’s room, since he would not be staying here this year, he not only felt excitement for the new year but sheer happiness at the fact that he had found someone who loved him as unconditionally as he loved her. He did feel some remorse that he wouldn’t be staying with his gaggle of mates though.

“Mate, what’s that grin on your face for? Haven’t gotten in any trouble without us, have you?”

Apparently, James’ inner monologue reflected on his face because all his friends were made aware of the grin on his face.

“No, I just…”

He’d managed to keep the relationship a secret from Sirius that summer because you didn’t want the already confusing relationship to be found out by the Wizarding World. For reporters to make it more convoluted and twisted than it actually was.

“I’m just glad to be back,” he says, deciding he needs to discuss with you if he could tell his friends about your relationship just yet.

*

I never needed anything more

*

When he saw Lily in classes the next day, a pang swam through his chest. He didn’t see her yesterday on the train. He wasn’t focusing on that. But now he was. He noticed that her red hair had been cut short to her shoulders and that she appeared much more confident. Her school blouse had the first two buttons popped, showing just the slightest bit of rosy cleavage.

No.

He had promised you that you could trust him, and you could. He knew you could. He was going to be the man that you deserved. Lily was in the past. Lily was a speed bump on his path to finding true love with you.

But why did the way he felt about Lily now feel as strongly as it did before?

And it didn’t help any when she waltzed up to his desk and straightened her arms right in front of his face, pushing out her chest, and making his lust and sexual drive soar. He was sure it was evident. That he’d broken out in a sweat, but he attempted to play it off as cool as an Autumn day.

“Hello James,” she greeted. “How was your summer?”

He gulped. In front of his eyes was a woman, the woman that he had wanted so desperately. He didn’t know her intentions, but he knew his thoughts. And if you could see his thoughts, could hear them… he knew you wouldn’t be pleased. He knew you’d realize that you’d been right in not trusting him. “Summer was fine, Lily-flower. And you? Hang around with Snivelly, any?”

“No, we haven’t talked since the end of last year. But I’m thinking that this is more room for opportunity, to make new friends, see the light, you know?” she grinned and it lit up his heart.

“So, I was talking to Remus, and he told me that I should give you a chance to be one of those new friends,” but the way she said friends implied something more. “And at first, I objected, and then I realized, I never really gave you much light in my eyes. Do you think you could change that, Jamesie?”

And fuck, if that didn’t make his heart race a little.

Lily

*

Whispers of "Are you sure?"

*

Lily and James were kissing passionately and furiously as they stumbled into her bedroom. Since becoming head girl, she had gotten her own dorm room. James had also gotten one, but Lily didn’t want to see how messy that room was.

She moved her hands from in between their two bodies and picked up her wand to cast several different nonverbal charms.

When she was done, she pushed James down onto the bed and began tearing off her clothes. And then his. When she was done and they were lying beside each other he muttered a final “are you sure?” to her, and she nodded. He kissed her with ferocious passion until the kiss became something more.

This happened again, again, again.

*

"Never have I ever before"

*

When James left Lily’s room for the fourth time that month, she pressed two fingers to her lips in reaction to his goodbye kiss.

“I’ve never felt this way about James. About anyone,” she thought.

He made her feel alive, he made her grin, he made her giggle, and he made her heart flutter when he was around her. Of course, she knew this when she approached him. She just didn’t think it would escalate to this level so soon.

She wants to shout to the world the way she feels about him, the way he makes her feel. How he can take her breath away and make her feel like the most important and most special girl on the planet.

Like she was made just and entirely for him, and that the same applied for him to her.

She couldn’t stop her wild dreams, the ones of vivid love and passion, the ones where he would kiss her, take her hand, and profess his love in grand displays. Where he’d fight for her and never leave her.

Fantasy and delusion never left her mind when it came to him.

*

Your back beneath the sun

*

He and she both lie underneath the sun, soaking up its rays, sharing its warmth, staring at the clouds trying to make out certain shapes.

It was a sunny December day, which was rare, so they were getting as much out of it as they could.

“James, we should study,” she lightly approached the devastating topic. “It’s not like I really want to, but what kind of example are we setting as head boy and girl?”

“Well, If we go back up to our dorms, nobody will know if we’re studying or doing something else,” he said with a wriggle of eyebrows.

“No, James!” she laughs, and he joins her. His pearly teeth both ensnaring her mind and rendering her unable to focus on anything but him.

“When’s the next Hogsmeade trip?” he asked casually while he laid back down with his head facing the sky.

“Most likely before the holidays.”

She saw his face contort when she mentioned the Christmas break.

“James, what’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing, I’m just thinking about… the war.” His face was pale, and his face sour.

“I’m thinking of joining the order after I graduate, but it’s still scary, you know. I’m worried about my mum and dad.”

“Your parents are going to be fine, James,” she assured him, but she knew he would be fully relieved until the war was over and all death eaters were locked up.

*

Wishin' I could write my name on it

*

She was sitting with Remus in the library when he brought up James. Let the record show that he brought up James, not her.

“So, how is everything going with James?”

She sighed lightly. “It’s magic, Remus. Pun intended.”

He chuckled. “I’m glad you feel that way, Lily. Really, he’s a good guy once you get past that facade he puts on. I knew you’d like him.”

“Yes,” she says faintly. Doubts flood her head about his own feelings.

“What’s wrong, Lily?”

Her eyes turn down to her paper before reaching up again to meet his. “It’s silly, but… sometimes I wonder if he truly feels the same. I mean, most people don’t harbour feelings for one person for this long. What if all along it was just lust, and he’ll cast me away now that he’s satisfied that urge.”

“Lily, I promise you, James has had eyes for no one but you for many years. I highly doubt that it was lust, James isn’t like that.”

“You know,” she smiled. “You’re right. I just wish this didn’t have to be kept so hush-hush. The amount of girls I see fawning over him is grotesque.”

“So then ask him,” he pushed.

She took that as a challenge. “Alright. I will!”

*

The next time Lily saw James, they immediately rolled into bed and did what lovers do. But after that is when she posed the question.

“James, would we- will we ever be able to make this public?” she asked in a stern voice.

She saw thoughts swimming in his head for a moment.

“Lily,” he rolled onto his side. “We- I… This needs to be a secret for now. I mean, we are waist-deep into this war, and with my plans to go into the order, I can’t risk anyone coming after you.”

His logic made sense to her, and the wizarding world would get too caught up with the son of a prestigious wizard family being with a muggle-born in the middle of all of this.

He was right, she just had to swallow her jealousy for now.

*

Will you call when you’re back at school

*

The next week, there was a Hogsmeade trip, and despite them staying near the Marauders, really, it was a date for James and Lily. Or at least that’s what it felt like. An unofficial date.

They bought each other gifts to open over the holidays, kissed discreetly under mistletoes, and held hands while walking through the village.

When they went to get butterbeer for the rest of the group, there was a long but comfortable silence for a while.

“So what are you doing for the holidays?”

“Just going back home, maybe making some treats with my mum,” he said casually. “What about you?”

“Same as you, I guess. I’ll miss you, though.”

“I’ll miss you too.”

She tapped her foot absentmindedly as they waited. “What if I came with you?”

“What?” Panic flooded his face. “No, you couldn’t come with me, I’m afraid. My house is an Order safe place. If a death eater found it, you could be in danger.”

“You’re in danger just being there.”

“And you’re in danger by just breathing, Lily! That would be a double danger. I’m not risking that.”

She cringed at her sudden need to be close to him. “Right, sorry. It was a silly idea. A mindless thought.”

His face softened when he saw her embarrassment. “I’d love to bring you home, Lily, but it’s not safe.” But by now she could tell that he was lying, there was something more.

*

I remember thinkin' I had you

*

On the train back from London going to Hogwarts, Lily sat with Marlene and Dorcas, she hadn't seen them quite as much as she would’ve wanted since the school year started, and now was the perfect opportunity.

Lily felt remorse and guilt for not telling her friends about such a crucial part of her life, her relationship with James Potter, and truly she wanted to, but what if they judged her? And Marlene has had a reputation for having a loudmouth. What if she said something and word got out?

They conversed in idle gossip before an interesting topic was brought up. One that left Lily infuriated, and ready to murder a smug bastard.

“Have you heard about Potter and that Beauxbaton girl?”

Her eyes raised in curiosity and scorn. “What Beauxbaton girl?”

Dorcas revealed as much as she knew about you to Lily, your name, family, status in the Wizarding World. By the time she was done, Lily was struck with disbelief.

“And you’re sure they were kissing?” she said in response to Marlene’s information about the article in the Daily Prophet with a picture of them kissing.

“Yes!” she exclaimed.

“I have the article right here,” Dorcas mentioned.

“Way to bury the lead.”

“Oh shush,” she said and handed Lily the newspaper out of her bag.

She couldn’t believe what she was seeing. The man she had been with for the past four months was kissing another woman. With Tongue.

“Well, that’s fantastic for him,” she said sourly. “He must feel so proud to have gotten a pretty girlfriend after pining after me for so long. I wonder how long it’ll be before he tries pining after me again,”

“Who knows, maybe it is serious,” Dorcas proposed.

Lily growled. “I don’t think it’s that serious if he’s sleeping with another woman.”

Marlene’s eyes widened. “You don’t mean-”

“Excuse me, I’ll be right back,” she said before exiting the cabin of the train and heading to find James Potter.

“So,” she said when she reached his compartment. “How long have you been seeing her?”

James looked shocked to see her. “Lily, I can explain.”

“Can you? Please explain then. Is this why I couldn’t come with you? Why you had to keep us a secret James? For Godric’s sake, how long have you been seeing her?”

He gulped. “Since the summer.” Even Sirius looked shocked.

“I lived in your house, and you didn’t tell me, mate?”

“Not the time,” Peter chastised.

“Are you serious James? You spouted all of that you love me bullshit when you were with someone else?” Her eyes radiated anger. It was like staring into the mouth of an actively-fire-breathing dragon. “Does she know about me?”

“No, she doesn’t,” he admitted.

Lily said one more sentence before stalking away. “Well, you better tell her, or I will.”

*

But I can see us lost in the memory

*

Lily had no intention of telling you anything. She didn’t even know you. How would she send an owl to a total stranger and tell them that their boyfriend has been cheating on them with herself?

Lily never set out to be a homewrecker. But she didn’t even know she was wrecking a home, to begin with.

This was James’ fault, and he was going to own up to it.

Besides, It deserved to come from him. Lily knew how she felt about being told that she was the other woman from some outside source, and she didn’t want to do that to anyone at all.

But not even the sting of betrayal could mask the ever-flowing sadness that emanated from Lily. She truly believed he was in love. And maybe he was. Just not with her. And that was okay, but she didn’t deserve what she was put through.

Still, that doesn’t stop the fact that she, herself, was in love with him, and how is she supposed to ever get over that betrayal.

*

August slipped away into a moment in time- 'Cause it was never mine

*

Within the next few months, Lily had fallen into a rut. Her grades began slipping, her mood and cheeriness faltered. Even though the Wizarding World War had recently been won, with death-eaters being locked away, that didn’t change her mood, because she wasn’t in the mood to celebrate, to begin with. Her friends noticed her down-in-the-dumps aura, and despite knowing the cause, and how it wasn’t their fault, they couldn’t help but want to help her, to fix her.

But no one could repair the damage that James Potter caused to Lily but Lily herself. And that started with making amends.

“I have to send a follow-up letter to that girl. So I’ll ask you. Have you told her yet?” She cornered James in the library because, despite Head Boy and Head Girl duties, they didn’t see each other much. After all, he was avoiding her as much as she was avoiding him.

He gulped, “I haven’t. Lily, I can’t tell her. It would kill her, she was so worried about the distance and when she saw me at Christmas break, she was so happy. I don’t want to ruin that.”

“You should’ve thought about that before you started an affair with me, James. An affair I didn’t agree to. I didn’t want to be anybody's mistress. And she deserves to know, and I am going to send her a letter. Today! So if you don’t tell her, she will find out from me. I’ve given you months.”

“Lily, don’t do this. Please. I can’t tell her over an owl. It has to be in person.”

She faltered. He was right. His heart may have been in the wrong place, but his head is in the right one. Doing that, telling you over an owl could have devastating consequences. It was a discussion that had to be had in person.

“Easter Break. That is your chance, James Potter. After that, If you don’t I will.”

She turned on her heel and was about to leave the library when he grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

“Lily, you have to understand, I never meant to hurt you,” he said. “I have fancied you for so long, and when you finally reciprocated this year, I didn’t want to pass up that chance. I was wrong. You are so amazing, and I shouldn’t have done what I did, but please believe this. You deserve so much, and I couldn’t and could never give that to you, but when I did this, I never meant to hurt anyone. I didn’t think it would go this far.”

She scoffed. “Well, it did, James. You hurt me. You betrayed me, and you betrayed her. Neither of us deserved that, no matter what.”

*

And I can see us twisted in bedsheets

*

Guilt twisted in her stomach every time she thought of you. Jealousy was surely a stage at first, everything about you had her enchanted, your hair, your eyes, your glowing skin. She was enthralled, and she could see why James was too.

And then she remembered his nights in her dorm, on her bed. Tossing and turning with her, his lips on her mouth, and she didn’t feel envy. She felt regret and culpability. If she had pressed James harder about whether his feelings really were the same as before, if he’d really wanted to do this, maybe he wouldn’t have done it.

And then she wouldn’t be in this position, and you wouldn’t be about to come crash-landing on impact with this heavy, and taboo truth.

But this wasn’t about her, Lily realized. This was about you. And how you were going to feel once James told you what happened when the train meets the station, and that is all Lily can think of as she sits on her bed, staring out of her window. When her owl knocks on the window to deliver her mail, the headline of the Daily Prophet is what catches her eye. “The Prodigal son in an affair with a Muggleborn witch!” It goes on and on about how a secret inside source heard an argument between the two of them in the Hogwarts library.

There is no doubt that you have seen this, and James didn’t get to tell you. Lily didn’t get to apologize to you. This just got a whole lot worse, and Lily didn’t know how she was going to deal with the sudden turn of events.

James is the villain here, she reminded herself. James is in the wrong, but she knew that she was still an unwitting accomplice. And her gut wrenched as she pondered on that very true fact.

*

August slipped away like a bottle of wine

*

Lily had to get away from the wizarding world, so although she didn’t plan on going home for the Easter holiday, she had to now.

She was being shamed for her insidious relationship with James, by certain people, mostly Snape and his friends, that bastard. Most everyone was supportive, they realized she had no idea about your relationship, but she was still worried about what you’d say to James, but more about what’d you’d say about her.

Had James told you that she didn’t know? That he lied to both of you. Would you be mad at her either way?

Shame pulsed through her body, and she couldn’t imagine what her mother would say when she told her if she ever did.

Though when she got home, her mother instantly noticed that something was wrong.

Knowing she couldn’t take her mothers knowing stares and hard gaze, she instantly confessed to everything that happened over the semester. Her mother didn’t judge her for having premarital sex as Lily thought she would, but rather comforted her daughter and reassured her. “If James is a half-decent person, he will tell her that you did nothing wrong, and she won’t be mad at you, Lily dear.”

Her mother's reassurance helped, but her rose bush of worry wouldn’t be clear of its thorns until she spoke with you.

*

'Cause you were never mine

*

When the break was over, and Lily was about to board the train station to the red engine that is the Hogwarts Express, someone was waiting for her at the door to the train.

“My train doesn’t arrive until later,” you say plainly. “I wanted to get here earlier though, to speak with you.”

Lily feels like she’s breaking out in hives under your eyes, and it’s not a good feeling.

“James told me about how you didn’t know about me, how you wanted him to tell me sooner, didn’t want me to find out from tabloids like you did.” You smiled at her.

“It really hurt me when I found out. I didn’t want you to feel that way, but you still deserved to know. I’m just sorry you found out like that anyway.”

“James already boarded the train, but I wanted to let you know we’re no longer together if you still wanted to be with him,” you said meekly.

Lily’s eyes grew to the size of saucers. “Godric, no! He’s a git.”

You laughed.

“I know we may not be able to be friends, but maybe it’ll be better if we work through all of this together, all three of us,” Lily proposed.

“Yes, individually, dually, all together, doesn’t matter, it needs to be resolved.”

Lily sighed a breath of relief. “Somehow, I feel lighter.”

“Me too.”

As Lily was about to board the train, you called out to her. “Lily!”

She whipped her head to face you. “We can be friends if you’d like, you know.”

That made Lily smile, and honestly, it made her heart bloom with a vague, but familiar feeling.

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

In your latest post, you said that Dumbledore MEANT to put Harry in a abusive household. That, or when he found out he did nothing to stop it. Why is that?

You’re going to get a lot of people angry with me. Well, I suppose they’re already angry. Somewhere out there, on the wider internet.

Right, anyway, the evidence of Harry’s abuse is so overwhelming that it seems improbable to me that Dumbledore wasn’t aware of what was happening. More, every interaction he has with not only Harry, but characters in similar circumstances, lends me to believe that in the event that Dumbledore does know he’d take no action.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone: Scene 1

We start out the entire Harry Potter series with Minerva and Dumbledore waiting in the early dawn for Hagrid’s arrival and to place Harry with the Dursleys. Minerva immediately announces her discomfort with this, 

She specifically says the following:

"You don't mean — you can't mean the people who live here? Dumbledore, you can't. You couldn't find two people who are less like us."

Lily Evans’ relatives are infamous enough such that Minerva McGonagall, who is presumably not as close as her like aged peers (i.e. Sirius, Remus, and Peter) knows about them.

Granted, some of this is anti-muggle sentiment. Minerva isn’t sure that suburban muggles raising a magical child like Harry Potter is a good idea. Nevertheless, she has deep misgivings, and relays them to Dumbledore.

We know from further evidence that Dumbledore is perfectly aware of what Petunia and Vernon are like as well. He gives Harry to the Dursleys anyway.

Dumbledore, for his own reasons, chooses not to listen.

Dumbledore’s Letter to Petunia

Dumbledore writes a letter to Petunia, knowing it is highly necessary, as he gives Harry to the family. The letter is... vaguely threatening but in a very polite Dumbledore way. It pretty much implies “Take Harry, or else, also be nice to your dead sister.”

The point is, Dumbledore is aware that this letter is highly necessary. And then... other things happen.

Dumbledore Sends Hagrid

Dumbledore sends Hagrid to pick Harry up.

Ordinarily, in such circumstances, Minerva is sent to introduce muggleborn children to the Wizarding World. “Perhaps she was busy,” you say, too busy for Harry Potter? Wizard Jesus and the child of perhaps her favorite students who she openly favors throughout the series?

“Perhaps Dumbledore was being nice to Hagrid, and he had an errand to do anyway,” well, it’s all well and good to be nice to Hagrid, but is he really the best guy to introduce anybody to the Wizarding World?

This is Hagrid, the likelihood of him having taken Harry to an exotic pet shop where Harry then gets eaten by the Chupacabra is 95%. The 5% where it didn’t happen is because Hagrid went to the pet shop alone and some, distant, rational part of his brain told him that Harry would want the pretty owl vs. the one-eyed blood sucking rat demon in the cage next to her.

You don’t send Hagrid if you want a child returned to you with all its limbs intact.

So why do you send Hagrid?

When you want someone who’s so painfully oblivious, loyal, and stupid that they could stare a hellscape in the face and wouldn’t even notice.

Hagrid gets a firsthand view of Harry’s living conditions. He learns that Harry’s relatives have been actively blocking Harry’s letters, that they have run across the country to avoid them. He sees the state of Harry’s clothing in comparison to Dudley, how thin Harry is in comparison to Dudley, and the way the family interacts with each other.

Harry’s child abuse is staring Hagrid right in the face.

Minerva would demand that Harry be placed somewhere else, they can find some other means of protecting him.

What does Hagrid do?

He gives Dudley a pig’s tail illegally and proceeds to tell Harry that Dumbledore is the greatest man who ever lived. 

Other Evidence Comes to Light

Other characters start getting pretty big warning signs that all’s not right at the Potters.

Ron and Hermione know the situation is “bad” and that Harry’s relatives “hate magic”. They’re also kids and don’t really understand what this means, the idea of being abused and hated by your guardians is unthinkable to them and Harry doesn’t come out and just say it.

That said, they’ve seen enough that they drop hints to those around them. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley are told about the bars on Harry’s window. Ron was so concerned about Harry in the summer after first year that he steals his father’s car with Fred and George to go pick him up. That is not normal behavior, that is deep concern for your friend.

Despite all of this... nothing happens.

Hermione spends far more time at the Weasleys then Harry ever does. Every summer, he returns to Privet Drive, and it’s likely if Arthur and Molly did have concerns Dumbledore told them off.

Arabella Figg

Arabella has been keeping an eye on Harry for years. She’s noted some very disturbing trends and been witness to years of the Dursleys interacting with Harry Potter.

She passes this information on to Dumbledore.

He knows how bad it is.

Harry Potter

Harry tells Dumbledore he does not wish to remain at the Dursleys, he notes that they don’t like him and he doesn’t like them. Now, he tries to downplay it, but this is a child saying some pretty disturbing things. You don’t brush this off.

Dumbledore does.

Dumbledore Visits the Dursleys

In book 6, Dumbledore visits the Dursleys and sees, in person, how bad it is. However, he shows no surprise, only vague disappointment in Petunia. Tsk, tsk, Petunia, I thought you were better than this.

He offers a few threats and then he and Harry go on their merry way.

Severus Snape

Snape is Dumbledore’s spy who reads Harry’s mind for half a year. Granted, Snape is a bastard who loathes Harry Potter, but he sees evidence of the Dursleys abuse of Harry.

We know, from what he relays to Dumbledore later, that he had at least some concern for Harry and was very disturbed by Dumbledore’s plan to murder him in cold blood due to the horcrux.

I think it’s very likely Severus Snape knew and told Dumbledore that Harry was being abused. I’m sure Albus’ response was, “Bitch, I know, would you like a lemon drop?”

Point being, there is no conceivable way that Albus Dumbledore, even if he was the world’s dumbest man, didn’t know exactly how bad it was. He let’s it happen anyway.

But What About the Blood Wards?

Dumbledore eventually tells Harry that the reason he can’t run away from Privet Drive is because of the blood wards created by his mother. They can only be applied if he lives with blood relatives and protect the Dursley house as long as Harry considers it home.

Now, this is a bit suspect given that Harry really considers Hogwarts his home, Privet Drive is just that hell hole he has to go back to every summer. Even the Burrow is more his home than Privet Drive so... That doesn’t sound right.

More, though, there are other means of protection.

There’s the Fidelius which Dumbledore casts on Sirius’ house in book 5. Given that, Harry really could have lived with Sirius (well, Sirius is not in a good place to have a kid around and that would be a disaster and a half). Point being, Harry could be raised elsewhere and there are wards that could protect him.

More, Voldemort and the Death Eaters are out of commission for thirteen years. Indeed, we see Dumbledore up Harry’s security detail by secretly assigning the Order to tail him after fourth year.

So, for a very long time, it’s not about Harry’s protection and when it does become that we see Dumbledore make significant changes.

So, what could it be?

Well, let’s look at Dumbledore’s other actions. Dumbledore prevents Harry from becoming prefect because “he thought it would go to his head”. Which, Harry should absolutely not be made prefect at all, and Ron’s a laughable candidate too but...

To me that’s very telling.

I hate to say this, but this is Dumbledore, but I think he has a very similar reasoning behind Harry going to the Dursleys.

He doesn’t want Harry to be corrupted by the Boy Who Lived persona. He wants him in a certain state of mind when he enters into the wizarding world and... Frankly, he wants him vulnerable. Dumbledore, in time, will need to either murder this boy or have him kill himself. If Harry has a halfway decent guardian, that task becomes a hell of a lot harder.

Harry has to love the wizarding world so much, trust Dumbledore so much, that these things are worth dying for.

You Mentioned Something About Dumbledore’s Other Actions?

Dumbledore has no sympathy for victims of child abuse.

Tom Riddle, an impoverished orphan loathed by those in his orphanage, he thinks is the very devil and sends him back into the Blitz with a smile and a wave. Enjoy the bombs, Tom, hope you die.

Severus Snape, the half blood child of an abusive muggle father and absentee mother, who is nearly murdered by Sirius Black via Remus Lupin, is told to shut the fuck up and sit down before he ruins the lives of his betters.

Dumbledore has a very bad track record with this and, well, Harry Potter is not an exception.

To be fair, I think the wizarding world has not concept of CPS or even child abuse. There’s no hint of a foster system, you go to the closest relative of the godparents. So, I think to them, you’re stuck with whoever you’re stuck with and if your uncle rapes you then it sucks to be you.

[allalrightagain]

Alright, you know what my absolute least favorite lines of all 7 Harry Potter books are?

Not least favorite moment or least favorite event or a line that doesn’t make sense (there are a lot of those, feel free to ask for a list), but my absolute least favorite combination of words, that JKR really put on paper and somebody let her publish? The words that echo in my brain years after I’ve last read that book? (That might be a slight exaggeration, but only assuming I haven’t read the book in years).

[Image description: a screencap of an ebook copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, page 1562 of 1571. The text reads as: “Oh, it would be lovely if they got married!” whispered Lily ecstatically. “Teddy would really be part of the family then!” “He already comes round for dinner about four times a week,” said Harry. “Why don’t we just invite him to live with us and have done with it?” The line “Teddy would really be part of the family” is highlighted.]

It’s from the epilogue (ofc), and I know it’s a 9 year old girl saying she just wants him more a part of the family than he already is, but I’m just,,, So Offended?? On Harry’s behalf?? Like, this is a kid who knows what it’s like to not really be part of the family. This is a kid who spent 11-18 doing nothing but creating a family, and watching people who weren’t really his family die, including his godfather. This is a kid who spent 1-17 in a house where he wasn’t really family, and was there for dinner more than 4 nights a week, the weeks he was there.

And you’re going to tell me, you’re going to look me in the eye and tell me that that boy grows up, gets his own godkid at a way too young age, that kid loses his parents at a too young age, and Harry turns around and says “oh well we could invite him to live with us” and looks at his daughter saying “Teddy would reallybe part of the family” and doesn’t stop and say “no he’s already family. He can marry into the Weasleys if he likes, but my godkid is already family because of course he is.”

And in the wake of all of jkr’s recent nonsense, I hear her voice behind that line, just like I hear it every time Dumbledore talks about the blood wards at Privet Drive, and I think you created a character with so much love, an endless amount of caring and love, and a limited number of surviving family, (no matter how wide you cast the definition of family), and you don’t get it.

Teddy would have been really part of Harry’s family no matter what, just like Harry was really part of Sirius and Remus’s, regardless of how little time they got and how much distance others and the world put between them.

(and as a side note, Cursed Child could never be canon for that same reason. Harry, who had so little family and so much love, would not have said that shit to his son, no matter what his temper was doing. Did he lose his temper all the time? Yeah absolutely, he’s a hothead with PTSD. But no matter how much he screamed, no matter how angry he got, he never said something so deliberately hurtful to someone he truly loved.)