#Sort and Order Keywords:

[varamacreations]

How to customize any report in MassMailer?

🌟MassMailer let you send mass emails or single email natively from within Salesforce. You can send emails to any standard or custom object. You can view the statistics like opens, clicks, bounces, and opt-outs, etc. You can send email alerts or drip campaigns via the process builder. You can send emails from Salesforce List Views, Salesforce Campaign, or from the advanced MassMailer List Views. You can create templates using the drag-and-drop editor.

[dravidious]

You're more amazing than 3D models

I haven't made any 3D models in months, but I have made 3 Differentcolorsofcommoncards! Here's the greens

I renamed a few that I showed previously because I think I've figured out the flavor I want to go with. Still placeholder names obviously, but slightly more fitting placeholder names

[prokopetz]

I love the Yu-Gi-Oh TCG because it sounds something that a person who doesn't know much about TCGs would make up in order to parody the medium. Like, what if there was a TCG that hated keywording and just stuck a full paragraph of rules on the card whenever a slightly complicated effect comes up, except it has no editorial consistency, so seemingly standardised effects may in fact have multiple variants with subtly different wording which causes each variant to resolve completely differently in specific edge cases? And also, judges' rulings at major tournaments are considered to be precedent-setting for future tournaments even if their conclusions are not subsequently incorporated into the rules, like some sort of TCG Supreme Court, but the lack of keywording and inconsistent phrasing mean that whether a given ruling on card A applies to card B is based on a subjective assessment of "substantial similarity" which is, itself, subject to precedent-setting rulings, such that knowing with certainty what a card actually does may require a complete knowledge of its history of use in tournament play? That'd be fucked up, right? Just kidding, it's not hypothetical at all – it's fucking Yu-Gi-Oh.

[david-talks-sw]

When did the Jedi lose their way?

A notion put forward by Tales of the Jedi and The Acolyte is the idea that the Jedi were losing their way, as an Order, by letting themselves become more institutionalized and mired in bureaucracy.

Is that the intended narrative? Nope!

Because here's the thing, Lucas acknowledges the fact that the Jedi start to be corrupted, at some point. But if you ask him, that happens as a consequences of being used as generals during the Clone Wars.

(note the keywords "used" and "forced"... aka they didn't willingly join the war, they were drafted by the Senate to fight in it, see here for more research & quotes)

But during The Phantom Menace? The Jedi are in their heyday.

"You see the heyday of the Jedi, when they are the guardians of peace and justice in the galaxy, sort of like the old marshals out West. And there's thousands of them." - Vanity Fair, 1999

Their only fault is that:

the Senate is their boss and the Senate is corrupted af which limits their mandate greatly (so not really the Jedi's fault, but it does make their hands tied)

they're oblivious to the Sith's scheme.

This notion that "they were so institutionalized/detached from the regular Joes of the galaxy that they became dispassionate and lost their way, forgot about the little guy" is absolute headcanon from fans and current authors. Lucas never brings it up once.

On the contrary, during development, he and concept artists took measures to make them look less institutionalized and heartless.

The Jedi temple isn't meant to signify an ivory tower, it represents a place of warmth/worship that contrasts with the coldness dispassion of the Senate building.

The Jedi used to wear uniforms, it was softened to a humble tunic.

Because the intended narrative is that the Republic (including the Jedi) and Anakin's downfall are paralleled with Palpatine's rise to power. There is a direct correlation, both in-universe and thematically.

As Palpatine becomes Emperor, the Republic dies under thunderous applause while the Jedi get slaughtered, and Anakin becomes Darth Vader.

As Palpatine gets emergency powers, the Republic weakens because of the war, the Jedi's values are foregone and Anakin is put in situations where he fails to uphold the Jedi teachings, over and over.

And it all starts when Palpatine becomes Chancellor after pushing out Finis Valorum, marking the end of an age of value.

(Get it? Finis Valorum? "Finis", latin for "end", "Valorem", latin for "value" puns are fun!)

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

ASKBOX IS OPEN REQUESTS ARE OPEN (MAR 29, 2PM-10PM EST) HERE ARE THE RULES

ground rules:

1) Funny- the request needs to be humorous, memes usually the most popular but dnd in jokes and other shitpostery is welcome. i abide by the MBMBAM NO BUMMERS rule - there are plenty of sad/deep/beautiful calligraphers out there who’d be happy to work with yall, but this isn’t that sort of channel

2) Length - aim for no more than 75 characters a request, my cue cards are only so big so I can only fit so much on each one and still not look like garbage. There is a little leeway but if you send me smth with like 120 characters it aint getting written

3) Amount of Requests - I am trying to be fair but i am one person running almost the ENTIRE thing, logistics, tech, etc, I have twitch mods and a roommate for retrieving things and that's it. In order to be fair, please restrict yourselves to 3 requests per person to let everyone have a shot, if you send in more i will ctrl-f your username and pick my favourites

4) Content - I will not do anything I consider under the umbrella of general assholery - this includes racial slurs, edgelord bullshit, exclusionist jackassery etc. Please be kind to each other. Please let me know if I’ve taken a request that is some incredibly obscure piece of bigotry, someone once tried to slip a really obscure antisemetic piece of slang by me once

5) Repeats - I keyword tag EVERY SINGLE piece i’ve ever done on this blog, if you think I might have written smth already but aren’t sure, the /search/[keyword] is your friend, check if i’ve done your request before

the askbox is theshitpostcalligrapher.tumblr.com/ask , not a dm or submission to the blog. I’ll close submissions too so people don’t get the boxes confused. DM me for any actual clarifications, kind words, etc so they don’t get swallowed up by the behemoth of my askbox for months, and if you want to give me live encouragement the twitch link is right there, and the chat is the ideal way to inquire more about any of the day's rules since I'll be staring at that all day.

If you want to jump the ENTIRE queue and get your card done immediately, there are ways to donate on the twitch stream to get your request done with an ink of your choice. You can still submit 3 free requests in addition to what you pay for.

I’ll be streaming the entire time the askbox is open on twitch at twitch.tv/miathcalligrapher, trying to get as many of these done today as possible live. Once 9PM EST hits, the askbox will close but if you get your request into the askbox by then, it will be done eventually as I always have 4 cards up per day.

Here’s the link to my twitch, we’ll start a little after 2 o’clock.

[dhddmods]

You are not immune to being intersexist. Being anti-mutilation & anti-hormone abuse isn't enough.

We are so sick of radfems/TERFS/SWERFs and perisex queer people claiming to be intersex allies, while perpetuating intersexist ideals. We have had to correct some of these behaviors within ourselves over the years (ie; making intersexist jokes, using the H-slur while being unaware it was a slur, etc), because its so ingrained in society.

You are not immune to spreading intersexism. If you are still doing those things, learn now to stop and do better.

-

Gatekeeping intersex variations & traits is intersexist.*

Calling intersex variations & traits conditions, disorders of sexual development/DSDs, urogenital deformities/disorders, hormone disorders, or chromosomal disorders is intersexist.**

Claiming intersex people can be sorted into a binary system ("female intersex" & "male intersex") is intersexist.***

Using f-ta (*u) or b--ddel (*ae) is intersexist and a slur.

Using h-rmaphrodite/h-rm (*e) - yes, even on animals - is intersexist and a slur. Use cosexed or intersex instead.****

Labelling altersex or cosexed characters as "intersex" is intersexist. Treating intersex variations as synonymous with cosexed is intersexist.

Identifying as "transintersex" is intersexist. Intersex & perisex are not a choice. Use one of the countless other terms to describe transitioning to mixed or null sex traits instead.

Lying about being intersex to get access to sex affirming care is intersexist, and isn't any "safer" than outing yourself as trans or altersex.

Claiming that intersex people can't be trans, or gatekeeping how they identify, is intersexist.

Mocking menstruation & pregnancy in people who aren't female-perceived (ie; mocking mpreg) is intersexist.

Calling intersex traits "too complicated" to bring up in basic biology class and sex education is intersexist. It only takes an extra 30 minutes to teach the basics of it.

Using small dick, no balls/small balls, or low T as insults is intersexist. Mocking people for having the "wrong" secondary sex traits (breasts, hips, muscle mass, body/facial hair, voice pitch, etc) is intersexist.*****

Calling HRT feminizing and masculinizing is intersexist. Using AFAB/AMAB interchangeably with mulleripathian/wolffipathian is intersexist.

-

*Intersex describes a wide spectrum. This includes penile traits, urethral traits, ambiguous genitals, the agenital spectrum, reproductive traits, hormonal traits, and chromosomal variations. It is not just "mixed parts." You can read about them in our guide.

**Yes, intersex people often have comorbid disorders, but that does not make their intersexuality a disorder. Yes, sometimes (keyword SOMETIMES) urethral traits need surgery in order to urinate, but that doesn't make it a deformity, it just means that evolution isn't a conscious being.

***Yes, some intersex people have mostly mulleripathian traits or mostly wolffipathian traits - but that doesn't change the fact that they are intersex. Also, some intersex people are extremely ambiguous. Are you going to tell a person with XX-XY chimerism, ovotestes, a uterus, and a penis that they can be categorized into a binary sex system?

****Use cosexed when referring to animals who primarily have mixed sex traits (ie; slugs, snails, certain bugs, etc.) Use intersex when referring to animals who have a mulleripathian & wolffipathian variant, but fall outside of that (ie; a gynandromorph beetle or bird, a hyena born without a penis or pseudophallus, a calico cat with XXY chromosomes, etc.)

*****All of those are intersex traits. In fact, all of those things are genderqueer/varsex (trans, GNC, altersex, etc) traits too. Joking about people's bodies in general is just bigoted and disrespectful, why are you using body shaming as a punchline anyways?

[thenightling]

The Little Endless storybooks are going back into print this summer and will be available on June 4th. These are the *ONLY* children's books tie-in for Neil Gaiman's The Sandman. They are storybooks by author and illustrator Jill Thompson (The Sandman comics and Scary Godmother books). The Little Endless books depict The Endless (God-like entities that represent aspects of sentient life) but as chibi-fied small children, sort of like Muppet Babies. The Endless were first shown in this cute, kid-friendly form for issue 40 of The Sandman when Abel was telling a story to baby Daniel. In the early 2000s they even sold plushies of Morpheus, Daniel, Death, Delirium, Mervyn, and Goldie in these forms. The first Little Endless book deals with Barnabas, the talking dog, trying to find Delirium and meeting each Endless along the way- all the while he thinks he's being chased by a monster that turns out to be his own tail. The second book is The Little Endless: Delirium's Party. In this story Delirium attempts to cheer up her sister, Despair, by throwing her a surprise party. Despair does not react well to each of her gifts, which in turn, makes the other Endless sad. This ultimately is what makes Despair happy. Again, these are the only kid-friendly Sandman tie-in books. They have been available before in soft cover and hardcover but had been out of print for over a decade. These new reprints come in a box set and are available for pre-order now on Amazon. https://www.amazon.com/Little-Endless-Storybooks-Box-Set/dp/1779525524/ref=sr_1_1?crid=23NGY53C6YP5P&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.EL3Asebwtr4ffBgMNneFqFWZphc7DehnX8jgkIgTckmDQUDaBWedJ4RvixIPFGUMkTXW1QAuR5iG31et_wTpaNO2vIMsosMjs3IAgBGYXXngsFkgk2ANd6Aygn8uUVL-zD2cL8fNuT76VDxdLv4IzRdJT1xSNnjZtCv0D_QZ5iY1h11IrP0595Hl-DpVuoPRWbnAkhBBUPl9ZUV0Hi9Wgd1BixKjc--6VmvDJkyrgeI.07ZMMNXkRFkObpok7wWfJ6t872hUca47krbZeQWlq4A&dib_tag=se&keywords=Little+Endless&qid=1705805319&sprefix=little+endless%2Caps%2C136&sr=8-1

[dewdropsonparchment]

SDV Headcanons: Sam 2/?

I promise I sometimes think about the other characters (keyword: sometimes) but Sam's pull is just too strong, what's a girl to do, I've got to gravitate.

Sam having a crush headcanons:

Long, insisting stares. Nothing weird or uncomfortable, he'd just kind of get lost in thought looking at you, a faint smile plastered on his face and his eyes drinking in your every change in expression. If you caught him and called him out on it, he'd probably sheepishly apologize, grinning like a dummy and laughing about it. He might try to flirt if he felt comfortable enough, "sorry you kinda took my breath away just now". He's a bit of a goofy flirt.

Always scanning the area for a glimpse of you. Not to spy on you or anything, you'd just kind of be like his daily dose of sunshine and he'd just literally function on that energy he gets when he sees you. Not only that but he'd want to make sure you look ok. If you seemed tired or down, he'd try to help out and make you feel better. Sam really does care, and he'd want that smile of yours to be showing always.

He'd want to learn about whatever it is that you like and about your hobbies. Even if you were interested in something he wouldn't really have cared about prior to knowing you, he would research it and try to learn about it so he can bring it up when you're hanging out. He'd even go as far as trying it out with you if that was a possibility. The same way he loves for you to take an interest in his hobbies, he wants you to feel appreciated and comforted in the idea that he is genuinely interested in what makes you happy.

He would slowly yet surely try to use pet names when addressing you. At first he would maybe drop one jokingly, saying it in an overly exaggerated tone, and then it'd become some sort of habit. He'd call for your attention using it and enjoy the fact it was something special between the two of you.

Regardless of whether or not you felt the same way about him as he did you, Sam wouldn't want to lose your friendship. He would have fallen for you because of who you are and even if he had to let his crush go or keep it to himself, he wouldn't sacrifice any bit of the bond you share together no matter your feelings. If anything, he'd probably keep on admiring you and cherishing you, but he would try to make it so that he's not burdening you with it.

Sam is definitely big on PDA. He would want to be close to you. His arm brushing against yours, his head centimeters away from yours while you're showing him something on your phone or in a magazine, his hand gently resting on the small of your back, even touching your hands while he's daydreaming or talking about something he's especially passionate about... this man craves for your touch and he'll take as much as you give him as long as you're comfortable giving it. He'll respect your boundaries, no justification needed.

Sam wants to hug everyone. But especially you. Oh you're saying hello? Here's one as a morning treat. You've done something you're embarrassed or shy about? No worries, he's got you... he'll hide you in a strong warm bear hug. Feeling like the world is beating down on you? He'd hold you so tight you would feel like nothing else exists outside of him and his reassuring smell. There is nothing better than a hug for him to show you he's there and will be there for you no matter what.

He will bring you whatever reminds him of you. A flower on the way home that wore your favorite colors? It's yours now. That little keychain that looked cute and had your vibe? Hey, better have some spare space on that key ring clip. A new yummy pastry made of your favorite flavors his eyes stopped on while ordering his go-to pizza? It's free food delivery time o'clock baby. You might need some sort of box to store all of these if we're being honest because he just won't stop.

Sam would become very protective of you. He is very protective of the people he cares about in general, but with those feelings for you, he would want to make sure everyone knows that if they crossed you the wrong way he'd make them eat their audacity. Not that he believes that you can't handle yourself, he's actually quite proud to boast about how strong and cool and amazing you are at any given opportunity, but there's just that little itch in him that pushes him to want to make sure no harm is every in the way of getting done to you. If he had to take a punch for you, he'd do it and not bat an eye.

He will be your hype man. If you ever feel like shit or you can't make peace with yourself on a particular day, he'll throw those compliments at you as fast as Pierre would run after that 1 gold coin. And nothing disingenuous, it's all heartfelt and he means all of it. He won't let you beat yourself up, he'll make sure that his voice is louder than any other that might try to put you down, even your own. You are precious to him, and he will make it a point to have you know in excruciating details exactly why you are.

Another tell tale sign of his falling for you would be the changes in lyrics regarding the songs he usually hums to himself. While he'd usually go for empowering songs, falling for you he'd catch himself listening to slower, more romantic songs with all those sappy lyrics he kinda made fun of before. And he'd listen to them on repeat, lying down on his bed, looking at the ceiling and just picturing your face as the melody goes. He'd have them stuck in his head so much he'd mindlessly sing them around you or others. Seb wouldn't let him live it down.

[bluev0id]

~ What's coming your way? ~

I'm bored at my friend's graduation ceremony, so here's a little reading! Pick one of the four combinations of stones ♡

🌸 Check out my ETSY(link) where I sell jewelry made with these pendants 🌸

1. Green agate + iridescent seashells

If you've been feeling not like yourself or missing something in your life, you will experience a return of what was lost. Expect a wholesome time in nature or engaging in your cultural or family traditions. If you haven't had time for hobbies or enjoying time by yourself, it will be a wonderful period where you'll be able to create, daydream and have some relaxing self care time. Someone from the past might return and you'll be able to fix the broken. On the other side, if you've been experiencing injustice or a lack of order, this will be sorted out.

Keywords : bringing it back, the way it should be, sunshine, traditions, to belong

2. White seashell and opals

There's high expectations on you either from others or yourself. You will want to be on your grind, trying to have a breakthrough. I do sense that there will be a feeling of lack that will guide you through this experience, so make sure to exercise and let go that nagging feeling inside of you that's saying that you're not doing enough. Don't push yourself over the limit. You will be taking life seriously and desiring all the nice things. There might be a woman in your life who will play a major role during this time. Reflect on where your desires come from and what are the things in life that last and matter the most, because through that you’ll be able to reach the paradise you're seeking.

Keywords: lazy, not enough, money, status, a woman

3. Pearls

A period of melancholy is coming your way. You might find yourself crying over memories or enjoying late night walks, staring at the moon through the window before bed. But it's not sadness you'll feel. It's the knowing that life passes and you have to move on and that being alive, despite all the hardship, is beautiful. You will long for someone to be there for you is it a friend or a past/long distance lover, and I see them trying to support you as much as they can. You'll receive sudden kindness from strangers or close ones during this period of your life.

Keywords: love, goodbye, warmth, memories, church, mistakes

4. Red and white agate stones

Honestly, you are that bitch. And your friends love you. I see a period of confidence, support and power coming your way. Your friends or people around you will have your back if you're ready to stand up for them as well. You'll feel empowerment by realising your influence and won't be afraid to speak your mind. When you reply late, you'll have people wondering where you are and if everything is alright. Community and good communication. If you're currently lacking close relationships, then I sense a group of individuals entering your life and being on the same wave as you.

Keywords: shepherd, fuck the rest, parties, friends, pick me up when I'm down

🌸 MY ETSY 🌸

[whirlybirbs]

Given that Izuku is not only a huge All might fanboy but also directly in his life, he’s seen Derecho become the hero she is now and also seen how her relationship with All might has changed. What are his thoughts? Does he also ship them? Does he have some sort of negative feeling towards her after how close she got to ending all might??

Izuku Midorya was one of those hero twitter stan users who would comment under All Might x Derecho content going: "cute but remember when she tried to k*ll him". Keyword: was.

Midorya agreed widely with the stance that the glimpses the public gets of some sort of relationship over the years is for marketing. Not the use of past tense.

(He asked All Might one or two times about his history with you in babbled sentences over historical recounts, but each time the man swept it away and under some far-off rug as a guise of "focusing on the basics".)

And then he meets you for the first time.

You're standing there before dawn, smiling up at Toshinori Yagi — All Might — on Takoba beach before class. Midorya knows enough that this is a private moment, and he can't help but stopping in his tracks. You're both by the sea wall, leaned against one another, watching the sunrise. Two of the greatest pro-heroes of all time. All Might's hand is on your back, and you're saying something that's making him rumble out a half-cough, half-laugh into his shirt collar.

You made All Might laugh.

You... you made him smile.

And you're beautiful.

OhmygodtherumorswerealltrueIwonderhowlongthey'vebeentogetherItmustbeatleasttwentyyearsnowWhatyeardidtheymeetagainOhright—

All Might's eyes catch Izuku's over his shoulder.

Midorya swallows thickly when his mentor gives him a soft wave, come on over, earning your attention as you follow the gesture over his shoulder.

"Uh, hello," he starts, his hands wringing the straps of his bag, "I'm—"

"Izuku," your voice is softer in real-life than it is on all those hero reels; you're pretty. Softer than you were in your prime, but still possessing an edge that electrifies the air. Midorya's cheeks are hot, "I've heard... Big fan."

The praise makes his whole body go rigid.

You lean back against the sea wall, and Izuku's mouth parts in quiet shock. All Might has talked about him? T-To his partner? Partner? Lover? Wife...? Are they married? His eyes narrow in on both of yours hands, darting back and forth. No ring. No ring? Maybe just... good friends? No, no way. Friends definitely don't stare at one another in the sunrise.

...Do they?

Friends definitely don't look at you the All Might is, all soft appreciation and love.

Or... do they?!

"Th-Thank you! That's incredibly kind," Midorya stutters out, his expression a little wild. Almost like a cornered deer. It's cute.

"Derecho is going to be helping us with instruction today," All Might says slowly, his hands moving to the lower of your back. The gesture could be considered professional. Izuku feels like his brain is going to short-circuit, "She's very important to me. I'm sure you're familiar with her quirk?"

"Y-Yes! Electrification and general control of elemental lightning—"

"Someone's done his research," you croon with a smile, "You're really smart, kid."

Oh, god, and she's, like, super duper nice—

"And her weakness?" Toshinori presses for good measure, just proving how much Midorya knows.

"Electrolytes! Your body needs more than the average person in order for the conductivity of your quirk to be maximized. Also, prolonged use of your quirk can impact your cardiac conduction," he chatters; your smile is growing.

You nudge Toshi with your elbow. You approve. Not that you needed any proof aside from Toshinori's gut instinct that Izuku Midorya was the right pick for his legacy.

"And blondes," you toss in as a joke, "Those count as a weakness, I'd say—"

Another laugh from All Might. This time it results in a little bit of blood. You're offering up a tissue — one from the pocket pack kept in the pocket of your over-sized sweatshirt. He thanks you. You gently touch his arm.

Izuku Midorya has so fucking clue what's happening right now.

He spends that next night on a deep dive, hours long rabbit hole of 'All Might and Derecho dating?' searches and interview supercuts from their primes. There are no answers — none except a few tweets with unreliable narrations of their interactions and body language.

He actually finds himself saying 'please kiss' out loud on more than on occasion.

What the fuck.

...He's never shipped anything harder in his life.

— a reference to this fic here ;

[lovexjoe]

Unspoken

Part 1 

Synopsis: Jack and Y/N have been best friend for years. She recently ended her 2 year relationship, due to moving to Atlanta for a better job opportunity. What’s going to happen when she stays with Jack for a week ?

Warning: fluffy, angst?, language and smut🧎🏽‍♀️

Y/N POV 

Great!!! I finally found an apartment for myself, but I have to stay at a hotel for a week due to maintenance. I sighed as I begin to search the internet for a hotel suitable to my needs. Currently I’m at Jack’s house, cause he offered to let me stay the weekend as I sorted myself out. Moving to a new state is draining. I left a lot of my things back home as my mom said it’s good to just start fresh. So I packed what I needed and hopped on the plane. I left so much behind, even my 2 year relationship. Surprisingly, I’m okay and even happier that it ended. There wasn’t a spark between us. He treated me well, but the relationship over all was boring. I guess I kept it going for so long, because it was better than being alone. 

“Alright what’s got you so stress? You been glue to the computer since you woke up” Jack says as he sits down next to me on the couch. 

“The apartment won't be ready for another week and I need to find a hotel beca-” 

“Hell no! Come on, you know you can stay here till it’s ready. I’m not taking no for an answer either. Now can you stop stressing before you explode. That vein on your forehead is serious” He starts his usual teasing. I laughed and playfully shoved him. 

Arguing with him was useless. It was his way or no way. I finally close my laptop and enjoyed whatever tv show he was currently hooked on. He stretched out his left arm and placed it on the back on the couch. I crawl into my usual spot: snuggled up with a blanket. 

“I missed you. I know you’re stressed but I’m happy to finally spend some time with you this week.” Jack says honestly. You were taken aback but also happy as well to be here with him.

“Me too”

Jack’s POV

She takes her usual spot on the opposite end of the couch, I so badly want to pull her close to me. As selfish as it sounds I hope her apartment takes an extra week so she could stay longer. And those god damn PJs she wears is gonna end me. She could wear a turtleneck and I’d probably still have the same reaction. 

I had met her through Druski as she was working with him for a while on video concepts and managing his social media. As soon as they linked up, she got his account to gain a million followers within a month. Thats why Jack put his full trust in her when it came to his social media. He’ll give her a heart attack here or there when he posts some random video of him trying to dance. Keyword is try because he looks like he’s glitching half the time. 

~~~~~

They indulge in a few episodes together before both of their stomachs start grumbling. Jack grabs his phone to open up UberEats. She gives him an insane look. 

“Jack you already ordered UberEats for breakfast, do you ever actually cook?” She arched her brows at him and he just looks at her cause lowkey she ate him up with that one. 

Oh yea forgot to mention, she got attitude that could last a lifetime and he fucking loved it. 

“You know I can’t cook!” He tried to justify but she’s already up and headed to the kitchen scanning the pantry and fridge for a simple meal. 

“Alright since you insist on me staying here for a week, you have to learn how to cook to at least survive.” She points the wooden spoon at him which causes him to laugh and throw his hands up in the air. 

“Goddamn Gordon Ramsey when did you even grab that!?” 

“Mmm don’t worry about that, give me a cutting board and knife stat! We making the world’s simplest meal. Pasta!” 

Pasta? Yeah no, he has spent his entire life over and under cooking pasta noodles. He watches her work the kitchen like a natural, pulling out ingredients he didn’t know what was what but he  tried his hardest to pay attention. She started with washing, then cutting then cooking. When it started to heat up in the kitchen, she tossed her hair up in a messy bun and in that moment Jack swore his heart could burst outta his chest.  He was trying his best not to stare inappropriately, but she was down right beautiful. 

Her ex was an idiot for letting her out of his sight, but he had to thank him because he’s not letting this chance pass up. There’s been multiple times throughout their friendship that her previous relationship and his hookups were not too fond of what they had. Which caused a few months of silence here and there. It use to kill him that he couldn’t reach out to her or hear her voice. She’s the reason why most of his hookups never lasted. Even during sex he wasn’t fully present, always distracted. 

As she finished up the tomato basil pasta, she turns around bumping into Jack not realizing he was so close to her. She felt so small around him, he looks down at her and smiles. 

“Hi” he says as he looks into her green hazel eyes that complimented her tan skin. 

“Hi…” she wish he would just kiss her, but she probably wasn’t what he even wanted. This man has the whole world at his feet. Why would he want her? They both stood there for a few extra seconds, just admiring their favorite features of the other. 

He swore she bite her lip 

She swore he was staring at her lips 

Kiss me already they both thought.

The sizzle of the pot reminded her she needed salt, so she purposely pushes up against him to grab the salt 

“Excuuuuseee me” she says innocently causing him to blush. 

“Smell yummy, thank you seriously” He says as she hands him his plate. As she makes her plate last, but Jack grabs it and heads over to the dinner table. Pulling out her seat for her, she happily sits as he grabs them some wine. 

“Oh my god, this is amazing!” He hums enjoying all the flavors that melt in his mouth. She’s really getting brownie points right now cause once his tummy is full he is a happy camper. 

This could be them, she thought. If only he wanted her. 

This could be them, he thought. If only she wanted him. 

After a few glasses of wine and enjoying the food together. Jack knew she was gonna crave something sweet because anytime he took her out dessert was always a must. He took her plate and nods his head for her to follow him.  

He grabs a bowl, vanilla ice cream, sprinkles, chocolate drizzle and whipped cream. Instantly her smile appears on her face, he still remembers her favorite toppings. How could he not though? He remembers everything about her. They both assisted each other is building the sundae. 

“Time for the finale!! Whipped cream!” She shakes it up and hands it to him to do the honors. Jack holds down the nozzle but it was stuck. He shook it one more time confused cause he literally just bought it when he told Y/N to stay at his crib. Yes he fully stocked the house and made sure it was squeaky clean before she got there. He even went to target and Ulta and stocked up on products she’d like or needed for the guest room. 

“This thing is stupid!” He holds the nozzle facing Y/N and it shoots out straight onto her neck and face. They both looked shock but Jack was trying so hard to hold his laughter in. 

“Oh you little shit!” They both busted into laughter. 

The wine definitely taking effect as laughter filled the air. Their stomach hurting so much from being full and the happiness that overcame them. Grabbing a towel, Jack pulls her close and the two still having the giggles. She wasn’t in control anymore because she couldn’t believe the words that was escaping her mouth. 

“Lick it off of me….” Jack freezes. Is he dreaming? Is she fucking with him? Wouldn’t be a nice joke but the way she was looking at him she’s lucky she doesn’t get bent over this island right now. 

“Are you sure?” He looks into her eyes wanting to confirm because if he starts god only knows if he’ll have the strength to stop. 

“Yea….make me your dessert.” She wipes some whipped cream off her neck slipping her finger in his mouth to suck it off. The need growing between them as she felt his tongue lick her finger dry. His lips meeting her neck, licking up all whipped cream on her as her moans escape her mouth. 

Fuck. He thought this was it, she’s gonna get eaten up tonight, he had to taste her. He was hungry for it. His hands caressing her face, as their lips finally meet. They both dreamt of this moment endless amount of times, but nothing….nothing could compare how this really felt. The little sounds she makes got him bricked up and aching. It’s almost as if she knew what effect she had on him cause her hand begins to palm him through his joggers. He groans into her mouth, causing a certain wetness to form in her panties. She never knew Jack had an aggressive side to him, she always teased him of being vanilla. 

He picks her up and sets her onto the island. Slipping her shorts off and spreading her legs. No panties? Fuck, her pussy glistened from her wetness under the lights. She closed her legs, starting to feel shy. 

“Nuh uh, open those legs for me. Lemme see that pretty pussy.” Oh god she loves this. He gets on his knees, kissing her lips, taking in her scent causing her hips to buck. 

“Jaack please don’t tease,” she feels his breath on her as he laughs, knowing exactly what he was doing. He takes her clit into his mouth, slowly sucking and swirling his tongue. He was so fucking handsome and with your pussy in his mouth made him even hotter. Working his tongue up and down your folds, you lift you hips slightly to ride his face. 

Fuck fuck fuck 

Jack couldn’t believe how fucking beautiful you looked under the island lights. Everything about you just amazed him. He works his movement with yours as he sees your body tensing up. 

“Fuck Jack, I’m- fuck I’m gonna cum!” In that moment he slips two of his fingers in, curving them upwards pumping them in and out. The only thing that could be heard was your cries and the wetness of your pussy. His fingers were big and long you could only imagine what he’ll stretch you out to. He pulls you close to him, placing little kisses along your cheek and neck. He lets you ride out your orgasm from his fingers. He only just begun with you, but he notices the slight sheen of sweat that covered your body. 

“You have no fucking idea how long I’ve wanted you.” He places a soft kiss on her lips. 

“Jack I need you, please.” She reaches into his jogger to pull him out. His tip already leaking with precum. Teasing him, she rubs his length between her wet folds causing him to groan. The lust that filled both of their eyes as they watch his tip play with her clit. Jack slipped in not being able to handle it anymore. 

Y/N lets out a soft cry not realizing how big he really was. Her back was cold against the marbled island, but the way Jack started pounding into her she couldn’t possibly give a fuck about anything 

“Jaackkk” she cries out throwing her head back

“I know it’s big baby, you can take it. Be good for me and take it.” His thumb starts to rub circles on her clit as he continues his ruthless thrusting. She was drunk off of his fucking. Not a single thought was running through her head besides the fact that he felt so fucking good and was deep.

“Look at you. Such a good fucking girl taking me. So beautiful baby.” He whispers his praises into her ear, till he feels her clenching him tightly. His free hand grabs the back of her hair firmly to make sure he was looking at him as she cums. 

“Mmm fuck, where do you want it?” She better answer quick cause those hazel eyes looked fucked out and he could barely hold on. 

“Inside me! P-please please” 

Jesus Christ 

He nods as he increases his speed, hitting a new spot for her causing her to come undone. She couldn’t even stop the babbling. 

“I love you I-I love you Jack.” He kisses her passionately, emptying himself deep inside her. 

“I love you too.” He says out of breath. 

He picks her up carrying them to his bedroom. She was completely out of it, her eyes closed and sleep slowly taking over her. He couldn’t imagine this moment any better. It happened so naturally. He tucks both of them in pulling her closely. She was his. He was hers. Thank god for that fucking apartment delay. 

~~~~~~~~

Y/N woke up feeling satisfied and definitely sore. Some of their friends were suppose to be flying in today to vibe for the next two days. She looks at the sleepy man next to her and smiles. They really had some nasty sex last night when just prior to that they were just best friends. She places a soft kiss on his forehead and decided to make them breakfast. She picked out some boxers and one of his t-shirts and got to work. As she was making them pancakes and eggs, the door bell rang and it was probably Druski since he had the earliest flight. She opens the door to see a girl, who looked like a super model holding a duffel bag. 

“Y/N, right?” 

“Uhh yeah…I’m sorry who are you?”

“I’m Jack’s girlfriend….”

Part 2? 😌

TAGLIST 

@dyttomori @harlowcomehome @itsyagirljaz

[youkaigakkou-tl]

Yohaji Character Survey 2024

With the release of the anime and the end of cour 1, I figured I'd do the character survey again! You can see last time's results here, which was in Oct 2022

I'll tally the results in about 2 weeks, before cour 2 starts (Jan 7), but the form will still stay open after that

Since last time, over 2 years ago, this blog's gone from around 100 followers to 600+, and I've made a twitter (which now has more followers than this blog. u guys r still my fave tho <3) so I wanna see if I can get a bigger sample size

Some funny numbers under the cut if you like numbers too

The 2022 poll had 22 responses at the time I tallied the results, but I never closed it and it now has 32 responses

Of which, the most recent responses are from.... THIS MONTH????? WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE WHERE DID U COME FROM

Takahashi stan who answered this month i respect u so much. me too same tbh

I don't actually remember how many followers I had at that point, the only milestone I know is 300 because I made this post. I was going to make this same joke for twitter too when i hit 300 there but it jumped from like 300 to 600 in like 2 weeks and I missed my chance lol

But anyway I think it was around 100 because at the time I tallied the results I remember thinking "hey 1/5 of my followers responded! pretty nice ratio!"

Some kinda irrelevant stats: Because I set up google SEO for the wiki, I get to see search trends and stats for it and yohaji in general!

Impressions (purple) is "how many people see the wiki in their google search results", which roughly equals "how many people are searching yohaji-related keywords" because the wiki is almost always on the first page of results anyway

Clicks (blue) is "how many people clicked on the link to the wiki in google search", or rather "how many people clicked on the miraheze wiki over the fandom one, either because google put it above or ppl already knew its the active one"

(Don't actually know what's going on on the fandom wiki nowadays, I don't check on it regularly, and a few weeks ago fandom staff revoked my admin and removed all the links to the miraheze wiki when they haven't cared for most of the year, presumably because the anime is driving up viewcounts for the fandom wiki too)

So sort of unexpectedly, it's actually trending upwards week by week!

For the spike on Nov 26, I have to assume that's because of one of those tiktoks that blowed up

The most searched character (that brought them to the wiki, at least) after Haruaki is..... RANMARU?????

After that, it's Ebisu, Miki, Sano and Oota, in that order, all roughly tied in clicks. Massive spike for Ebisu last week and then this week of course

For a long while pre-anime, 2 of the top queries that showed the wiki were Seiryuu and Suzaku, probably because they snuck into searches for those names from other anime lmao

[schemelin]

when i was a kid, i remember playing a browser game where sea polyps would slowly descend from the top of the screen and the player had to attach them to a substrate, like a rock or the sea floor, in order to stop pollution by allowing coral reef to grow. the more polyps you helped find a substrate, the more points you earned (?) and you'd eventually pass on to the next level. it would get increasingly difficult to do so when the polyps wouldn't reach a certain area. i believe there was a huge "pollution fish" boss at the end which would spit some sort of green goop to kill the growing reef/dirty up free space for reef to grow.

it was such a good browser game. i think it's been 13 years since i last played it, now it's nowhere to be found. i tried searching for keywords "anemone", "polyp", "coral reef". might have played it on click.jogos and ojogos (both of which were some of brazilian children's most popular game websites at the time) but it showed no results, and considering most of the games i played back in the day were whipped out when flash support went out of usage, it's likely this one didn't survive either.

[tin-wufborf]

Tin's Favorite Sterek Fics (Part 5)

Hi everyone! I am back from brink of death to bring you yet another platter of fic recs. Thank you all so much for you patience and for the continued love you all have shown these posts. I truly appreciate you all.

Also, just in case this has been bothering anyone: you will definitely see more author-diversity and newer fics as I work my way though my bookmarks. I'm working chronologically through my Sterek bookmarks from the oldest to the newest, so that means we're all currently reliving the early Sterek scene together while also getting to experience the moments where I would discover an author whose writing-style I particularly liked and then binged their entire body of work all at once before going back to the main tag's offerings (hence the large number of works by specific authors going on right now). Not sure if that bothered anyone, particularly the point about there being multiple fics from the same authors--people care about odd things sometimes, but I've seen discourse around this specific thing and would like to head it off at the pass--but I thought I'd make a statement about it because I was noticing it and was like "I wonder if this is bothering people...lemme speak on it". And now here we are!

Okay, enough yappin' from me. Let's do this!

List and links to previous/next part(s) below the cut.

************************************************************************

DISCLAIMER: This is me warning you all that some of the fics I've included in this list may cover explicit, dark, and/or "taboo" subject matters. I cannot express enough how little I care what anyone thinks about any of that; all I want is for you to use caution when reading anything I've listed here and to please review and heed whatever tags the authors have provided in order to keep yourselves safe. Your experience from this point on is your own responsibility, not mine and not the authors'.

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Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20

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i'm just the same as i was (now don't you understand?) by paradis (T | 1/1 | 2,738)

"You're a virgin," Jackson says. "Everyone says you're a virgin." "Everyone but me," Stiles points out. More silence. Stiles thinks he can hear crickets chirping. "I'm kinda cold," he complains. "Well when were you not a virgin anymore?" Isaac asks, perplexed.

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by nightlights the children pray by hoars (T | 1/1 | 2,745)

Scott leaves for ten years and comes back.

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Nothing is as Bad as it Seems by paradis (T | 1/1 | 3,636)

“I know, it’s a shock,” he says. “But there’s more. Your friends– they’re werewolves. And that’s dangerous, Stiles. But I can keep them away!”

“I know they’re werewolves, you idiot!” Stiles shouts

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Stiles Stilinski's Knitting School for the Were, Other-Worldly and Supernaturally-Inclined by TypewriterLove (G | 1/1 | 3,789)

He'd trawled through online pattern directories, before finding something called Ravelry. Drumming his fingers against the desk, he'd hit the "register now!" button.

ScarletNerded's first action on their new account is to look up patterns with "wolf" keywords.

(In which Stiles ends up teaching the entire pack how to knit- which results in werewolves making socks. Alternatively named "Beacon Hills Stitch & Bitch")

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different definitions of good by preromantics (G | 1/1 | 4,259)

The one where Stiles has a fishy sort of excuse for not getting in a boat on the ocean. "Maybe I'm not really into the idea of getting caught by the coast guard on a stolen boat," Stiles says. Which, while not the reason Stiles definitely needs to stay behind, is also a pretty valid reason.

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No Destination by scottmcniceass (T | 1/1 | 5,043)

It's not like they're going anywhere in particular. They're just driving, getting away for a bit. Escaping everything. Together.

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Well Tempered by jsea (T | 1/1 | 5,290)

His fingers start moving almost of their own accord, and it feels easier suddenly. His fingers feel less clumsy, and the music that flows forth isn’t quite so somber anymore. It’s not the happy airy sound he wants so desperately to give to Stiles, but this feels right in its own way. More him. More them.

Or, the fic where Derek used to play piano, and he does again. But only for Stiles.

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we are tangled by drunktuesdays (T | 1/1 | 5,716)

"Derek was at your house?" "For like ten seconds," Stiles said. "I'd say it was weird, but is anything about Derek ever not weird?"

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can't be hateful, gotta be grateful by HalfFizzbin (T | 1/1 | 6,260)

"Be cool, Dad, we've decided to con Grandma."

(Or, the one where the Stilinski men drag Derek to Thanksgiving dinner at Grandma's and she gets the right wrong idea.)

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Flint and Tinder by rufflefeather (T | 1/1 | 6,781)

"Hi," a voice comes through and Derek really wishes it’d take more than that to know who it is.

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The Alpha to My Alpha by CupcakeGirlA (T | 1/1 | 10,717)

“Derek will kill you. He’ll tear you limb from limb!” Stiles says, scrambling away from him. The Alpha ambles closer.

“No, I don’t think he will,” the Alpha says. “I mean aside from killing a couple of hikers in his territory and doing him this favor, I haven’t really done anything to Hale. Once I’m gone he’ll probably be happy with the gift I’ve left for him.”

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Derelictions of Duty by Regann (T | 1/1 | 10,846)

No one wants to be the bearer of bad news to someone as nice as Sheriff Stilinski -- especially when he's your boss. That's why none of his employees want to be the first one to tell him about the scandalous goings-on between his only son and the former murder suspect Derek Hale. For all of their sakes, hopefully the Sheriff will find out all on his own...

(Or, 5 times a Beacon County Sheriff's Office employee witnesses the unique relationship between Stiles and Derek but neglects to tell the Sheriff and 1 time he witnesses it for himself.)

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Going, Going, Gone by paradis (M | 3/3 | 12,296)

The Sheriff comes up to him after the services. "I don't believe he's dead," he tells Derek.

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Promises aren't Meant to be Broken by paradis (T | 1/1 | 12,463)

“Thanks for saving me,” Stiles blurts out, staring up at Laura, wide eyed.

Laura grins. “I like you,” she says, “we’ll be friends.”

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powerful in-scent-ive by kellifer_fic (T | 1/1 | 14,533)

Stiles holds up a hand, because he really can't listen to the bites-are-all-right speech that Derek has given Scott dozens of times. "Dude, don't."

"Look-" Derek tries again, oddly persistent.

"Derek, man, my worst nightmare is not me getting bitten, it's him. It's always been him."

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Strangeness and Charm series by hoars (4 works | NR-M | 14,744)

The Gypsy AU

1. for the way this animal love, lurches monstrous up my chest (M | 1/1 | 2,481) “Strangeness follows the Romani, what is a little more?” Elder Travj asked. That was the night Derek’s pack began to follow the caravan; a night marked by fire and loss. 2. wanting to make you happy and warm and unafraid and free (M | 1/1 | 4,022) "Laura called you a thief." Derek breathes into his neck. "And what did the she-wolf call you?" Stiles asks. "She called me a gypsy." And Derek does not sound wronged. He sounds insecure and of longing. "Then perhaps she finally speaks truths." Stiles says. "I am a thief and you like me, a Roma." 3. these places will have to substitute (NR | 1/1 | 2,229) (Interlude) “The chovihano is harmless to Derek.” Mother says. “I assure you, Miss Laura, Stiles would not hurt Derek.” The shaman says. “Stiles cares greatly for your brother.” But still. Something in her is screaming, howling and growling. 4. for the grunts and the screams we extract from each other (NR | 1/1 | 6,012) It doesn't make sense for the lunatic to be eating people but biting others. All evidence but for the mass grave indicated the lunatic had been recruiting, building a pack, not finding a meat source. Werewolves, even lunatics, weren't prone to cannibalism. “It's a true sign of madness.” Derek says, as if repeating something he’s heard a dozen times since he was a child. "The mark of the beast."

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You Make Me See How Much I Have by paradis (T | 1/1 | 16,943)

“You’re lucky you got here now,” he says, “Ten minutes – maybe you could get your –” there’s a crash before he can say get your daughter, and Stiles resists the urge to either slap his hand against his face, or slap Derek, because no one ever understands how difficult it is to have a kid in the store by themselves unless they’re also parents.

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Past Imperfect, Future Conditional series by elisera (3 works | T-E | 17,311)

1. Necessitate by (E | 1/1 | 3,888) Derek’s juggling the kids -- Noah hanging off his back, Ella standing on his foot while holding onto his jeans with a death grip and both of them still talking up a storm about their day at kindergarten -- and two bags of groceries in his arms that evening when the sight of Stiles standing in the backyard makes him weak in the knees. Stiles is in profile, ranting on his phone to Scott about the contract negotiations for the new construction on the Peterson property, and there’s a flush on his face, his ears pink and his mouth red from where he keeps biting it but the worst thing, the absolute worst thing is the round curve of his stomach, straining against the tank top he liberated earlier in the week from Derek when the heat wave hit and none of his own fit him anymore. It’s going to be stretched to hell by the time the kid is born but right now Derek can’t find it in himself to care. 2. The Weapon You Choose (E | 1/1 | 12,029) When Noah trudges down the backstairs that morning, he finds Dad sitting on a step halfway down and chewing on his knuckles, watching Papa making coffee like it’s a special on the discovery channel and not an almost daily ritual. Anyway, Noah needs the car on Friday; he might as well make nice so he sits down next to Dad, jostling his shoulder with his own in greeting. Dad raises an eyebrow, mirth in his eyes and his mouth curving around the knuckle stuck in it. Papa grunts just then, still trying and failing to open the tin with the ground coffee in it and Dad head snaps around, once again riveted. Noah rolls his eyes hard but he guesses people who’ve been together since the dawn of time need to get their fun wherever they can find it. 3. Pancake Wolves (T | 1/1 | 1,394) Stiles is on his third cup of coffee when Derek tromps down the stairs. He looks at him over his shoulder, taking in his barely open eyes and the pillow creases on his face, unable to keep from smiling at him. Derek yawns widely and just keeps going until he can wrap his arms tightly around Stiles’ waist and lean against his back, letting Stiles take his weight.

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Jurisdiction series by elisera (3 works | T-E | 19,897)

1. Jurisdiction (M | 1/1 | 7,025) John is a pretty level-headed guy. He wasn’t always, back during his own Sturm und Drang period, but he married a firecracker of a woman and got a kid with an affinity for trouble like he got payed for ending up in it, so someone had to level out or they would’ve ended up living in a treehouse or Lapland doing god knows what. Anyway, getting a hold of his temper is one of John’s better life achievements. It makes him a good sheriff and it kept him from blowing his lid too badly those last two years when Stiles started acting out in a way that John had never seen before. But the temper is still there. He’s reminded of it when he comes home on a random Saturday in March after spilling his milkshake all over his uniform shirt only to notice he didn’t have a spare in the station and finds Stiles bend over the kitchen sink with hunched shoulders. 2. Life With Werewolves: A Beginner's Class (T | 1/1 | 2,836) Five times Sheriff Stilinski was really through with werewolves and one time he wasn’t. 3. Life With Humans: The Stilinski Edition (E | 1/1 | 10,036) “You still smell weird,” Derek says, pressing his nose against Stiles’ armpit, trying to figure out what about Stiles’ scent still bothers him so much. Stiles slaps his head and Derek nips the soft skin of his inner bicep in retaliation. “I,” Stiles says, still panting and shivering from his orgasm, “do not smell weird, you weirdo. Maybe you should take your nose in for a checkup, it’s clearly out of whack.”

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red series by hoars (3 works | NR-E | 32,156)

1. Festival of Red (E | 1/1 | 11,592) “See? I need my daisy crown or I won’t get Chased.” Stiles frowned. “And then I’ll have to do it again next year. I really don’t want to do it twice.” The good and the bad of getting Caught this year included not having to do it again and the bad was he’d have a werewolf mate for the rest of his life. Stiles is seventeen. He has a lot of life to live. Unless his wolfy mate has no sense of humor or a temper. Those with no sense of humor and tempers tended to hate Stiles the most and wouldn’t that suck? Being tied to someone for the rest of his life who hates him. That actually sounds like his type of luck. “You’ll be fine.” Allison beams because she’s a sweet person and can obviously read Stiles like a picture book aimed at toddlers. 2. Navigating our Marriage (NR | 1/1 | 8,316) The squeal to the bride-hunting fic that involves moving, emancipation, a family feud, a baby shower, a list of reasons and a magic cat lady. 3. Families: Eternally Messy (NR | 1/1 | 12,248) The third installment to the bride hunting fic that now involves pregnancy then babies, adult looking responsibilities, epic fails and proof no one picks their family.

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[the-fair-maiden-of-fandom]

PLEASE help me find a fic.

dean was freshly out of hell, and if i remember right he was down there for eighty years instead of forty. cas was in hell as well, he fell/was cast out? i think for exercising free will on a mission. he, dean, and meg all had an odyssey-style journey to get to the portal to earth. he and cas met charlie topside, and she sort of fell into hunting. dean was mute, or selectively mute, so charlie taught him some bits of asl.

i believe john was resurrected since dean didn't break? he had a 'torturer' that sort of annoyed him into saying yes? uriel kept appearing in his dreams to give him orders/messages, and john and ruby had insane beef. i think sam found out dean was topside, and he, bobby, ruby, and jo and ellen were trying to find him, and they kidnapped charlie at some point???

i read it last a few months ago, and ive been searching for days and i can't find it anywhere, my ao3 just gave the 'retry later' error message because ive tried new filter keywords so quickly. i literally adore the fic, ive read it at least eleven or twelve times, and i'd really love to give it another reread (or twelve). if it got taken down, i would kill to peek at someone's download of it. i think its unfinished, but that obviously could have changed

edit: i spent another three hours scouring my browser history, ao3 history, and all my currently open tabs (400+), and i think it was taken down by the author and i can't remember their username so if there are any downloads or the author wants to take pity on me i would love you forever <3

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

ASKBOX IS OPEN REQUESTS ARE OPEN (NOV 17, 3PM-9PM EST) HERE ARE THE RULES

ground rules:

1) Funny- the request needs to be humorous, memes usually the most popular but dnd in jokes and other shitpostery is welcome. i abide by the MBMBAM NO BUMMERS rule - there are plenty of sad/deep/beautiful calligraphers out there who’d be happy to work with yall, but this isn’t that sort of channel

2) Length - aim for no more than 75 characters a request, my cue cards are only so big so I can only fit so much on each one and still not look like garbage. There is a little leeway but if you send me smth with like 120 characters it aint getting written

3) Amount of Requests - I am trying to be fair but i am one person running almost the ENTIRE thing, logistics, tech, etc, I have twitch mods and a roommate for retrieving things and that's it. In order to be fair, please restrict yourselves to 3 requests per person to let everyone have a shot, if you send in more i will ctrl-f your username and pick my favourites

4) Content - I will not do anything I consider under the umbrella of general assholery - this includes racial slurs, edgelord bullshit, exclusionist jackassery etc. Please be kind to each other. Please let me know if I’ve taken a request that is some incredibly obscure piece of assholery, someone once tried to slip a really obscure antisemetic piece of slang by me once

5) Repeats - I keyword tag EVERY SINGLE piece i’ve ever done on this blog, if you think I might have written smth already but aren’t sure, the /search/[keyword] is your friend, check if i’ve done your request before

the askbox is theshitpostcalligrapher.tumblr.com/ask , not a dm or submission to the blog. I’ll close submissions too so people don’t get the boxes confused. DM me for any actual clarifications, kind words, etc so they don’t get swallowed up by the behemoth of my askbox for months, and if you want to give me live encouragement the twitch link is right there, and is the ideal way to inquire more about any of the day's rules.

If you want to jump the ENTIRE queue and get your card done immediately, there are ways to donate on the twitch stream to get your request done with an ink of your choice. You can still submit 3 free requests in addition to what you pay for.

I’ll be streaming the entire time the askbox is open on twitch @ theshitpostcalligrapher, trying to get as many of these done today as possible live. Once 9PM EST hits, the askbox will close but if you get your request into the askbox by then, it will be done eventually as I always have 4 cards up per day.

Here’s the link to my twitch, we’ll start a little after 3 o’clock.