#Standard Format of Writing

[starry-sophrosyne]

man I REALLY dont write enough fluff for you guys, do I?- XD /hj /lh /silly

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i did not expect it to be this much of a WASH for the poll but hey, fate of the cards, luck of the die, written in the stars, whatever you wanna call it i suppose!- ( ´﹀` )

if im being so fr tho, not only is my "draft" (aka paragraphs of bullet points with the worst god awful spelling youve ever seen in your LIFE because i was so fixated getting all my ideas down bc of writers block/burnout) gonna be a pain in the ass to fix up-

-but also? the idea of taking on a particularly fluffy au is honestly a little.. daunting.. to me.. which- i know, it sounds stupid, but here's the thing: i think you all know this by now but whump is where i excel in my writings. on the other hand, i genuinely.. dont know when the last time i wrote- fluff... was... /gen

... huh...

*stares down at my hands and then looks back up*

holy shit nvm i think i need this?- 💀 i mean i am kind of worried i wont be able to find my style in this rather fluffy au of mine but wtf is wrong with me bro, how can i not remember the last piece of fluff i've written- Really goes to be telling of my character huh?- (' - - ) /hj /nsrs /silly

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Also my initial reaction to seeing the poll ending: /j /nsrs

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*Me seeing the poll is done:* "YES YES YES. yes." *Also me seeing that I have to write/sort my messy fluff au which i dunno how to:* "NO NO NO FUCK SHIT-"

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[mortemcatabasis]

if i started trying to use the image description/alt text thingy on here would that be of use to any of you or is it one of tumblr's titular nonfunctional site mechanics

[3-2-4]

uhhhhhhhhhh. android-human romance except its told from the pov of the android slowly gaining consciousness.

[pumpkinhcad]

HAMMY'S POSTING. It's been a minute, isn't it? Time to post some critter-related Pump headcanons!

Pump likes catching bugs because he used to find them whenever he would join his mom in tending the garden. He is not that much into the act of gardening per se, but he liked digging holes to plant things and, you guessed it, come across earthworms and ant colonies in the process. Even prior to meeting Skid and going on spooky adventures around town, the reason he liked exploring was to find more bugs. And, in case anyone is wondering, centipedes are his favorite.

For some reason, Pump gets along with cats very well. He only started noticing when stray cats around the neighborhood started replying to him whenever he spoke. So he started talking to them more! He might not understand what the cats are saying, but there is an obvious feedback loop going on between them. As a result, sometimes he will attract entire colonies of stray cats and they will spent a good minute "having a conversation". Skid does NOT really get it.

For obvious reasons, Pump is not allowed to bring anything that is alive home. Other than friends, that is. He might like cats, bugs, reptiles and amphibians, but he canNOT be trusted with pets. This issue finds its roots in an incident in where he was allowed to have an ant colony in his room... which devolved into an ant infestations in the entire house. He might mean well, but he is simply too carefree to be in charge of, and take care of, a pet right now. Maybe in the future that will change.

[in-asterism]

why oh why can't you delete asks after you send them

[not-poignant]

How much does money effect how and what you write? If money wasn't an issue would you write more or less? Or would you still write but go with different ideas?

As a professional artist myself I sometimes ponder what projects I'd choose to do if I wasn't worried about finances. Because sometimes the things we want to create aren't financially viable, and that can really put a limit on our creative freedom and potential. But it's sometimes nice to daydream right

Hi hi anon,

Tbh I don't know how to easily answer these questions, because I do need money to live, and that's tied into my writing, so it's hard to imagine exactly how things would change.

Generally speaking, I'm quite a... rebellious writer, in the sense that I work hard to find readers who like what I do, vs. writing to market or writing for broad or wide audiences. The former would net me more money, faster. But I don't really do anything the 'right' way, I do it in the way that is the most fun for me.

So wherever possible, I am actually trying to do the things that best explore my creative freedom and potential. I tried writing more to market with Perth Shifters and while I don't regret writing those books, I don't love them like others do and I can't reread them, and didn't really enjoy the process. It actually taught me a lot about the costs of like... trying to do things the 'right way' because it makes more sense from a business perspective.

It didn't make more sense for me. Having unmedicated ADHD for so much of this was definitely a part of that!

Otherwise though, there are things that would change. For a start, I'd work less and take more breaks. I'd also have more nights to myself. I actually sacrifice a lot of evenings (particularly early evenings) to put up chapters in a timezone that's most user-friendly to the majority of people in the northern hemisphere. For many years that actually meant I could never go out and see friends or family on a Friday night.

Now it's Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday (not always, but at least always Thursdays). So when I'm organising cathcing up with people, there's a lot of 'I can't do it that day.'

I'd say money most effects how much I write. I wouldn't have a monthly word-count to hit, if this was just a hobby, for example. I definitely wouldn't write as much! But honestly, I already write less than I used to. Over time, I've realised the things I want/need the most are the things I should be working into my career anyway. Part of being your own boss is not being as much of a cunt to yourself as your other bosses were ;)

And I'm a pretty terrible boss to myself! I'm working on being less of that, lol.

I don't think I'd really write that many different ideas. I'd probably write more fanfiction.

I've been quite lucky, because in many respects, I have altered my writing career to suit me, instead of altering myself to suit a generic writing career. I think the latter is a really great path to permanent burnout, and I've been doing this for almost 10 years, and I feel like I'm figuring it out more and more as time goes by.

I write very self-indulgent stories! I didn't think Falling Falling Stars would be successful, anon. I thought people would hate me for it, I thought I'd lose money for it.

My writing career is running a line between 'I think this will earn money' and 'I think this won't but I'm so obsessed with this project I think others will get obsessed with it too so it might not be as big a risk as I fear it is.' If anything, anon, Mallory & Mount feels like probably the biggest risk, along with Vexteria, anything that isn't Fae Tales. But I'm going to take those risk/s, because I want to trust that they'll pay off.

I like to think that one of the reasons many of my readers trust me and my writing, is that they know I'm writing the stuff I love the most, in the way I love the most - hurt/comfort and trauma recovery and BDSM in serial format. I'm not forcing myself to be a more typical writer. The downside to that is I don't yet make a liveable income. The upside to that is that I make a steady income with readers who really get this writing, and who are wonderful people.

When I used to work as a professional artist, I pretty quickly started refusing commissions. I don't do writing commissions either. There's so many things I don't do that I could do purely for money. I've made a lot of choices for quality of life, keeping my health in mind, which means the only thing I'd really change anon is nothing really to do with the content, and everything to do with just the amount.

If I had a secure income, I'd write, but I'd write less. And a bit more of it might be fanfiction. But who knows! I hope you can find more ways to make the things that seem like financial dead-ends into something viable. Falling Falling Stars looks like a dead-end from the outside in, it's an 800k novel about a boy learning how to be nicer, and that's it. It has no huge epic plot, it has no especially dense worldbuilding, it's 9-10 times longer than a standard novel. It should never have been financially viable.

Yet it was one of the more successful things I've ever written, and plenty of newcomers into the fandom these days get here via Falling Falling Stars and not Game Theory. Isn't that wild?

Sometimes it's the thing that breaks the rules that still does well. I like to think that's a combination of me really loving the thing, and it having a lot of authenticity in it, which means there's a lot for other folks to resonate with and feel personally. And maybe some skill to pull it off!

I'm very lucky to be where I'm at. But I'm also pretty realistic that I don't think I could be successful if I only made 'financially smart choices' because I would have so little of my heart left in it, that I'd eventually just abandon it entirely.

And frankly, I think a lot of viewers / readers etc. can tell when someone doesn't love something. Or at least, some of them can. It's more fun when we all get to love the same thing together, vs. me writing stuff while thinking 'but I really wish I was writing this other stuff' and my readers loving something I don't. The latter is pretty crushing, and I can't do that. I'd rather work retail, instead of turning a creative career into that.

That's my biggest flaw as a creator, frankly, that I'm selfish enough and indulgent enough that it has to be very much on my terms, and therefore that only appeals to a narrow bandwidth of readers/folks. That doesn't mean I don't work really fucking hard, but I could only work this hard for something that feeds my soul and allows me creative freedom, I'm too sick (literally) to consider any other options.

And if 'money at the expense of creative freedom' was my actual goal, I would do literally any other job that guaranteed an income, because you can make way more consistently doing retail, than you can doing even 'commercially viable writing' in many cases!

[technicallyaminecraftsimp]

Breaking News: Boy has to write an essay for English class when all he wants to do is play with hot wheels and eat mud

[swagging-back-to]

is literally anything better than an employer emailing YOU asking YOU if you want to work for them and offering TWENTY AN HOUR plus every benefit known to man?

[amaranthineoni]

Bleach OC - Name Games

Ibaraki [伊原木] Tomoe [永萌]

Ibaraki [伊原木]

伊 (I): A phonetic element, providing the name with a certain sound or rhythm. Can be used as a pronoun, "he/she/it", "this/that", "just". (Also used as a stand alone to mean 'Italy' which is completely irrelevant here.)

原 (Hara): This character means "meadow/field/plain/prairie", "original", "primitive", "tundra", and "wilderness." It is often associated with nature, open spaces, or the beginning or source of something. In personal names, it can evoke a sense of groundedness, natural beauty, or an ancestral connection. (Most famously in Bleach, this kanji is the same as used in 'Urahara' [浦原], of which it seems to derive no special meaning.)

木 (Ki): This character represents "tree" or "wood." It symbolizes strength, growth, and vitality. It can also be associated with qualities such as stability, flexibility, and a connection to nature.

This name has little upfront meaning, and there isn't a widely recognized symbolic interpretation of it. It's most recognizably the name of Ibaraki Prefecture, however the kanji used for that is 茨城, roughly "thorny castle". Where as Tomoe's Ibaraki "伊原木" might be more aptly read as "that original tree" (as "that field of wood" makes little sense".)

Further, I admit it was chosen a little haphazardly. Tomoe was originally written as a sister to Tatsuki, and thus used her surname 'Arisawa' but due to the tastes of tumblr RP and my own development of this muse, she eventually diverged from this original form and needed a new name to accompany it. The name, consequently, wasn't picked with a specific meaning in mind.

Rather it was picked due to the use of its name for Ibaraki-doji, a supernatural entity depicted as a grotesque, one-eyed, hag-like creature with long, disheveled hair in Japanese folklore. It can be described in certain folklore as an Oni or Oni like creature. The Ibaraki-doji is known for its mischievous and sometimes malevolent behavior.

This is an obvious connection with Tomoe's own Oni symbolism of her inner hollow, however closer readings of Ibaraki-doji's folklore would be necessary to gain a deeper understanding of Tomoe herself.

For example, many tales of Ibaraki-doji often focus on:

Transformation and Hidden Nature

Feminine Power and Rebellion

Morality and Consequences

Exploration of Otherness and Otherworldly Beings

All of which are major themes of this blog, and which I might return to touch on at a later time, but this post is already getting SO LONG, and I still have to talk about her first name. 

Tomoe [ 永萌 ]

永 (nagai/ei) - This character represents "eternity" or "perpetuity." It conveys the idea of something enduring or everlasting.

萌 (moe) - This character has multiple meanings, but in the context of the name "Tomoe," it is often associated with "sprouting," "budding," or "to be full of life." It can represent the concept of new growth, vitality, or the awakening of potential.

When combined, the kanji "永萌" in the name "Tomoe" can be interpreted in several ways:

Eternal Sprout: The name can signify a continuous, evergreen presence of growth and vitality, suggesting an enduring and lively nature.

Everlasting Potential: It represents the idea of unceasing potential or the perpetual capacity to bloom and develop.

Eternal Awakening: The name may convey the concept of an eternal awakening or the continuous realization of one's inner self.

In the context of Tomoe, herself and my creation of her, I leaned into the last two meanings, with a preferential reading of 'Everlasting Potential'. Her name represents the idea of enduring possibilities, growth, and the constant realization of one's capabilities. It can be seen as a name that embodies the concept of ongoing development, resilience, and the ever-expanding horizons of one's potential - a concept that's tied into multiple other parts of her design including the inclusion of:

Amaranthine - from the word "amaranth," which refers to a group of plants known for their vibrant, long-lasting flowers. When discussing flower symbolism, the term "amaranthine" often represents enduring beauty, immortality, and eternal love and this meaning is preserved both in the name of this blog (though I've recently considered changing it), as well as in Demonio's design, which features a changing tattoo of flowers on her skin. While the flower motif doesn't crop up frequently on this blog it is one that should be kept in mind.

Amatsu-Mikuboshi - Amatsu-Mikaboshi is a deity in Japanese mythology and Shinto cosmology. In Shinto belief, Amatsu-Mikaboshi is associated with darkness, chaos, and the unseen forces of the universe, and often placed in juxtaposition to Amaterasu. It is an opposing force that must be carefully tempered by the other gods, and while he can be suppressed or contained, he cannot be killed or defeated. The universe maintains its careful balance between order and chaos.

Her Age - She's a character that is designed to look at personal growth, how one develops and grapples with challenge. Since her creation she's aged several years. No longer a child, this is a character that's had to face great adversity and transformation in order to develop into the woman she is at this day. 

However, while this understanding of Tomoe's name is one of the conventional meanings, 萌 (moe) may also be used in certain contexts to mean 'to show symptoms of'. This usage is more commonly seen in medical or clinical contexts rather than as a standalone name. In medical terminology, it can be used to describe the manifestation or appearance of symptoms or signs of a condition. While this is not a meaning that would be used when discussing stand alone names, a non-conventional reading of "Tomoe" (永萌), may be translated as "to show symptoms of eternity" based on the literal meanings of the individual kanji characters.

In this sense, her name reflects, quite literally, her curse of immortality bestowed upon her by Amatsu-Mikaboshi, and the ability which will allow her to act as its avatar and the executor of its will.

Tomoe (巴) is also the name of the comma like shape and is a motif I've used in her design previously, which also ties in to her themes of spirituality. It’s a common symbol used in shinto design, as well as regarded for its protective properties. Further, the swirling motion of the tomoe shape can symbolize change, transformation, and the continuous flow of life. It represents the cyclical nature of existence and the ever-changing world.

Finally, the name is shared by another famous figure of Japanese history: Tomoe Gozen. Though the kanji differ, one can't help but think of the celebrated and renowned female samurai when one hears it, and the implication I hope it invokes for Tomoe Ibaraki is that of a loyal and devoted warrior.

In sum the final reading of her name and the images it evokes is one of conflict, and a battle between good an evil, order and chaos. Homonyms with both heros and demons, and evoking imagery of potentially limitless growth, and expansion, her name embodies many of the themes her character grapples with.

[workofthediesel]

i've received positive feedback so go ahead and check this shit out

i had to post it as a link because it has to be opened as a pdf because that's the only way i could get it to show the formatting correctly and the formatting is like 80% of the story. also i assure you that despite the name, this is 100% a comedic fictional short story

anyway i wrote this for one of my college creative writing classes and my professor was a little bit pissed with me about it after and personally i think that makes it better

[transcarcinization]

i understand there are serious issues with access to academia and there are major issues WITHIN academia wrt elitism/classism/etc, however some of you seem to take those issues as a full pass to completely disregard any benefits or usage of academia at all. like at a certain point it just starts to look like anti-intellectualism

[malulurivers]

editing notice

so, with summer hanging around, I'm itching for things to do. since I really like editing and proofreading, I figured I would offer up my services to anyone who needs it!

I'll proofread anything at all, even for a fandom I'm not particularly involved in (though that would absolutely help, I'm willing to research stuff!). as for editing, I'll do it for a fandom I'm accustomed to (which is a lot, even if I don't post about them too much). I'm also happy to help proofread/edit anyone's original content, it doesn't have to be fandom stuff! I've got a lot more experience with that anyway which may come across in my own writing a bit idk.

I'd like to earn a little bit of cash eventually, with emphasis on the 'eventually', so that wouldn't be right off the bat (especially if it's a small thing!). I just genuinely really enjoy proofreading, I find it really satisfying, and I want to be a part of a writing community and help out where I can! as the proofreading-editing part is usually the not-so fun part ':D

anywho, if you're interested feel free to dm me!

~ malu

[chocobotism]

Léonne Ormesang Chocobo Hunter-Trainer Duskwight Elezen Mid 40s

Detailed backstory under the cut

A Duskwight elezen born and raised in the Black Shroud, Léonne lived a rather uneventful life. She endured a painfully average childhood, and now made a living as a general laborer, but did the occasional odd job for extra gil. Whether it was making simple deliveries or hunting down troublesome creatures, she could do it all. One of these odd jobs lead to her traveling through a portion of Coerthas, where she would cross paths with someone who would change the trajectory of her life, Ireine Hubairtin.

A lowborn Ishgardian woman, Ireine lived with her parents and siblings in a small village nestled within the Coerthan Highlands. They lived a meager lifestyle with neither fortune nor status to their name, but Ireine was a beauty like no other. All were captivated by her visage and Léonne was no exception, smitten after just a glance. Unfortunately, her business in Coerthas was short-lived, but she would make it her mission to see Ireine again.

Thus did Léonne go out of her way to look for work in and around the Coerthan Highlands. It wasn't easy, given how wary of outsiders many prospective employers could be, but her versatile experience and low rates were too good a deal to pass up. Eventually, her dedication was rewarded, though not in the way she planned. She was running errands at a small market when she was approached by Ireine, who had seemingly manifested out of thin air. Unprepared for the ambush, Léonne was quick to make a fool of herself, but luckily for her, Ireine found it quite charming.

As it turned out, Ireine had wound up falling for Léonne after also only catching a glimpse of her, and she too made a mission of finding the woman who captivated her heart. Though limited in movement, Ireine had her ways of finding information on the rugged Duskwight's whereabouts. For weeks, she seized every opportunity to gather intel, whether it be participating in idle gossip or enduring the ramblings of yet another suitor, she took notes religiously, pieced together a faint pattern, and it finally paid of on that day.

Without a moment of hesitation, the two were quick to begin courting. Despite their unabashed love, it would have to be a secret affair. Though Ireine's family was accepting of her proclivity towards women, it was difficult to ascertain how accepting their neighbors would be, much less the occasional visiting inquisitor. Thus it was decided it would be best to keep their love a secret, but that was fine. Plenty of women have lead perfectly happy, fulfilled lives like this before, so surely they would too?

It started as just another normal job. Léonne had been hired by some Ishgardian nobility passing through to do some menial task they couldn't be bothered to do themselves. It wasn't too bad, the gil certainly made up for it. It should have ended there. They should have moved on, eventually forgetting about the quaint little village.

One of the nobleman's sons caught sight of Ireine, and like every man before him, he was mesmerized. He had just reached the age where he needed to be on the lookout for a woman to marry, and surely she was the one, his bride to be. He wanted her. He would do anything to have her.

It was just another suitor that Ireine needed to reject. His wealth and higher standing meant nothing to her, she simply was not interested. She let him down as gently as she could. He should have moved on and looked for a wife elsewhere.

The suitor would not accept this. Why would he be rejected? He had wealth, he had status, and he was certainly not unattractive. What was he missing? What else could a woman possible want? He had to know. He had to find a way to woo her, to make her his. He would have her, and if he couldn't, then no one else could.

Two songbirds chirp and chatter as they preen one another, hidden in the brush. They are discussing their plans for migration. Though they loved their home, it was no longer safe for them there. With each passing day, it became more difficult to evade the falcon's talons. They could not keep living like this, fearful that they may never see the other again. The journey south would be difficult, and perhaps frightening in its own way, but they would be okay, so long as they were together. The songbirds pause their preening for a moment to press their beaks together, a small comfort for what lied ahead of them. A shrill cry pierced the calm. A raven had seen them, and called for its flock. Panicked, the songbirds took to the sky as more shrill cries filled the air in pursuit. They flapped their little wings with all their might, hoping to lose the flock, but try as they might, the sky grew dark as they were surrounded and overtaken. The songbirds try to escape to no avail, and soon enough the falcon's shriek joins the chorus. In the darkness of the ravens' flock, the songbirds are unable to see the talons before it is too late. One is taken, and the other is left to the mercy of the flock. They desperately cry for one another, but receive no response.

A Duskwight woman heaved as she trudged across the Coerthan wilderness with nothing but the blood-soaked clothes on her back and a hatchet. Though her body ached from numerous cuts and bruises, she pushed through the pain. She could not stop now. She could never stop. Even as her vision failed, her legs gave out beneath her, and her breathing grew shallow, she could not let it end there.

"Forgive me… Ireine."

Léonne wakes up in a rigid cot somewhere unbeknownst to her. She only catches a blurry glimpse of a room before sleep consumes her once more. This continues happening for Twelve knows how long before eventually, she stays awake. She quickly learns that she is in Tailfeather, a settlement in the Dravanian Forelands of all places. Evidently, someone found her at death's door right at the edge of the Chocobo Forest, determined it was not her time to pass, and brought her to be healed.

Grateful though she was to be alive, a sense of emptiness permeated her being. What was she to do now? Return home? Where was home anymore? The love of her life was gone, there was nothing to return to. Was she supposed to start over? Go back to her ways of general labor with the occasional odd job? That was a reasonable plan. Unfortunately, found herself unable to care enough about the locals to wish to do that. In fact, she could barely bring herself to care about anything. She wants to sleep, to dream of Ireine, and never wake up.

Obviously, there was something wrong with her. She was broken now.

Days turn to weeks, which turn to months, which turn to years. Léonne left Tailfeather to live in a decrepit shack with some robust stables in the middle of the forest by her lonesome. She's fallen into a routine by this point. Wake up, check traps, train chocobos, sleep, and repeat. Once a chocobo was fully trained, she would return to Tailfeather to sell for enough gil to not starve until her next return. It was no lavish lifestyle, but it was something. The birds seemed to like her, at least.

One night, Léonne finds herself unable to sleep. Deciding that it simply would not happen at that point, she starts her routine. To no surprise, she finds the traps empty. She turns to return home to see about training what chocobos she does have, but finds her legs are leading her elsewhere. Seeing no real reason to change course, as the chocobos were likely still be asleep anyways, she continues forward. Eventually, she stops at the edge of the forest, close to where she was found. Nonplussed, she stood there, taking in the slight chill that surrounded her. Slivers of the moon's light shone through the canopy to the forest floor. A breeze rustles the branches overhead, scattering the patterns in turn.

She is about to leave when a noise catches her attention. Some sort of small whimper, but not like any animal she had heard around these parts. Looking for the source of the sound, she spots a small form curled up at the base of a tree, shrouded by the dark. Creeping closer, she hears slow, shaky breaths in between the whines. As her eyes hone in on the form, a gust of wind tears through the canopy above. When it settles, the moon's light illuminates what lies beneath, and her eyes widen in shock.

It was… a child. But not like any child she had ever seen before. Small horns protruded from the sides of its head where ears would normally be, small patches of scales covered its face and limbs, and it had a scaly tail. It was sleeping, shivering from the chill. Without thinking, she picked the child up, gently cradling it in her arms. Upon closer inspection, she could see the poor thing was covered in scrapes, and the scent of smoke clung to its clothes. She could only imagine what had happened. Holding it tight, she turned around and started the trek back home.

It was about that time to feed the chocobos.

[flare-dragon]

FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, I’D ACTUALLY LIKE YOU TO GET MAD. TO SAY THAT “NO, IT’S NOT OKAY”. THAT YOU WERE HURT, AND THAT YOU WANT RETRIBUTION. TO PROVE TO ME THAT YOU ARE HUMAN, AND THAT YOU FEEL PAIN TOO. BECAUSE RIGHT NOW? …YOU ARE SIMPLY MUCH TOO PERFECT.

...no.

...NO?

Why would I willingly cause conflict to those around me?

YOU SEE? THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN.

I...don’t follow.

YOU PUT OTHERS BEFORE YOU. YOU TRY TO PREVENT CONFLICT, EVEN WHEN IT MAKES YOU ANGRY. YOU NEVER ACT SELFISHLY. WHO IN THE WORLD WOULD DO THAT?

...someone who does not want to see the world burn before me?

...OH?

Perhaps I misspoke, and I’m sorry for tha--

OH COME THE FUCK ON.

Pardon…?

I DO NOT DESERVE YOUR APOLOGY. I DO NOT WANT YOUR APOLOGY. IF YOU HATE WHAT I’M SAYING, THEN TELL ME! TELL ME THAT I’M WRONG!!

...but why would I try to prove you’re wrong? What’s the point?

I DIDN’T ASK YOU TO PROVE IT. I ASKED YOU TO TELL ME THE TRUTH.

How are those two things the same?

BECAUSE ONE IS MEANINGLESS, AND THE OTHER IS REAL.

…

YOUR INCESSANT DESIRE TO “Never inconvenience anyone” IS SOMETHING SO UNBELIEVABLY FAKE, IT BORDERS ON PSYCHOPATHIC--

Hey, wait--

--AND NOTHING IN THIS WORLD IS FREE OF SPITE. OF ANGUISH--

--hold on there--

--OF THE FUCKING KIND OF ANGER AGAINST THE CRUELTIES OF THE WORLD THAT THEY MIGHT WANT SOMEONE TO FUCKING SUFFER FOR IT--

--Now wait a fucking moment...!

-PAUSES-

How dare you accuse me of not wanting to stop the pain in the world. How dare you point the finger at me and say that I’m just allowing more pain in the world by not taking action!

AND YET, IS THAT NOT WHAT YOU DO? BY ALWAYS “Putting others first”, YOU DON’T PREVENT HURT IN THE WORLD. YOU LET IT SLIDE. YOU LET IT FESTER. YOU LET IT SOAK INSIDE OF YOURSELF, AS IF THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT--

Of course I fucking hate all the shit that’s been dealt to me!!

Why would I want to ever to feel so worthless that living on the side of the road would be a fitting end for me? Why would I want to have to face each day, not knowing if I’d even fucking survive because apparently “you’re a selfish fucking prick, and you don’t give a shit about this family. You’d just rather stick you face in the fucking sand and pretend nothing exists, you fucking cowardly c**t”

...I’M LISTENING--

No, fuck you, for being every other fucking person to accuse me of not caring about the suffering of those around by just deciding to “not take action”. You know what I actually fucking do?

I listen. I accept. I acknowledge that this world is fucked up, and the last thing it needs is another fucked up ball of fury inflicting it on the world. Who am I to make someone else get fucked up just because my life has been nothing but fucking torment and misery!!!

I don’t care that some people are willing to hurt me. I’ve been hurt before...but I’m not going to let myself be the reason others are hurt. No more…

...YOU REALLY DON’T KNOW, DO YOU?

...what you do mean…?

THAT ANGER DOES NOT MEAN INFLICTING PEOPLE WITH MEANINGLESS HURT. THAT FEELING PAIN AND WANTING VENGEANCE ON PEOPLE MAKES YOU SOMEONE WHO HURTS OTHERS.

What the hell else is that supposed to mean?

IT MEANS EXPRESSING YOUR ACTUAL EMOTIONS AND NOT JUST BOTTLING IT UP, YOU INTOLERABLE DUNCE OF A FOLLY! YOU KNOW WELL ENOUGH THE CATHARSIS OF PEOPLE BEING THEMSELVES. WHY WILL YOU NEVER LET YOURSELF BE YOURS?

...it’s just...not for me.

NOW WHAT DOES--

Enough.

-sigh- I’m late for work. I’ll keep what you’ve said in mind, and I’m--

YOU’RE WHAT?

I’m...appreciative of what you’ve told me. I’ll...try to think on it...

…

-leaves-

...FOOLISH IGNORANT JESTER...

"For once in your life, I’d actually like you to get mad. To say that no, it’s not okay. That you were hurt, and that you want retribution. To prove to me that you are human, and that you feel pain too. Because, right now... you are simply much too perfect."

[phoenixcatch7]

Fanfiction is great because you can see so clearly how people learn to write.

Some people, it's clear, learned almost entirely through absorbing the world around them. Grammar and punctuation will be all over the place, spellings are approximate, but the voice of the narration will come through so clearly. You can hear the dialect of the people around them as of they're telling the story. It's not a written story, it's a transcription of how they talk in their day to day life.

Some people learned through reading a gazillion books as a kid. Grammer and spelling will be rock solid, formatting occasionally based on the single tab of physical books rather than the double tab of online scrolling, but dialogue is often stilted and overly formal. You might notice a lack of contractions and very rigid rules they made for consistency that actually have a lot more flexibility than they think. They tend to have a fantastic grasp of sentence flow, though.

And other people formally learned how to write. This could be anywhere from taking school classes seriously because they enjoyed writing stories as a kid to literal certifications and jobs in the field. Grammer is flawless. Punctuation is triple checked. Foreign words are in italics. Characters have distinct voices. But their self indulgence is tempered by perfectionism. They know precisely what they want from a fic. Authors notes often feature mutterings about their happiness with the chapter. Kaomojis often appear! They seek a style to their writing, and it makes for some wonderfully clever plots! These are the ones most likely to get fun with formatting!

And some people.... Some people examined it all. They dissect dialogue, people watch, cross reference behaviours and compare characters to people irl. You can tell almost immediately who had formative experiences with Terry pratchett and/or ghibli, because it's these people. While others see writing as fun, expression, craft, they see it as art. Plain and simple. Sure, the grammar is occasionally sacrificed on the altar of creative freedom, and the occasional sentence might miss a full stop, but these people seem to self reflect on themselves as part of the art making process. On occasion, these people have the most masterful grasp of dialogue and invocation and hand sewn characterisations. Formatting is pretty standard because all the focus is on the actual words. These fics can be edited to the moon and back!

All of these can vary wildly in forethought and quality, and betas can often catch individual problems before they hit post, but just. Isn't it so cool? What's that one Oscar Wilde quote about every mask just being another fragment of yourself?

Did you recognise yourself?

[nineoftoads]

wow this is almost entirely incorrect