#Still in shock. I went into this knowing I'd probably only be able to pull one of them

[shima-draws]

Haha remember when I said Genshin was being homophobic by running Alhaitham and Kazuha at the same time. Ahaha.

First 10 pull on Kazuha’s banner. I get Kazuha. I go to pull on Alhaitham’s. Two pulls in I get Qiqi. (I am sad to be once again cockblocked by Qiqi.) Two pulls after THAT I pull Alhaitham. What the fuck. What the actual,,

I pulled THREE five stars within 60 wishes. How in the FUCK

I’m so sorry for ever doubting you Genshin I may have called you homophobic but you blessed me during this Pride Month

[fetusgooseandjuice]

Better Boyfriend (Pt. 2)

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Summary: Your boyfriend’s true colors have finally been revealed to everyone. Has this opened up new doors for your future with Natasha?

Word Count: 3,258

TRIGGER WARNING: Domestic Abuse & Rape

Stark!Reader

Your POV:

My hands were shaking as I pulled into our driveway. Hayden was already mad that I didn't tell him where I was going, so he's probably furious now that it took me so long to get home. I also somehow managed to drag Natasha and Wanda into this too. I know they're not gonna let it go until I open up to them, but I can't burden them like that.

As I opened the front door and walked into the house, I was met by an enraged Hayden. He pulled me into the house by my hair and slammed the door before shoving me against it.

"Where the fuck have you been." he sternly said, inches away from my face.

I was too shocked to respond which just made him even more mad.

"I asked you a damn question!" he yelled at me.

"I-I'm sorry I was a-at the compound because they wanted me to do game night w-with. then" I said quickly trying to defend myself and deescalate the situation.

"Oh what, so you think you can just go out and do whatever you want now huh?" he said as he let go of my hair, slowly backing up and nodding his head.

"No baby that wasn't it. I meant to text you but I-I guess it slipped my mind. I was only planning to stay a few hours though and then come home to you." I said softly attempting to calm him down while stepping forward to gently cup his cheeks with my hands.

"Yeah I bet you were hanging out with that Natasha, weren't you." he said in disbelief.

"W-what?" I asked confused, letting go of his face.

"I've seen the way she looks at you. I mean come on she practically has heart eyes, and you just let her?" he said raising his voice.

"Hayden baby, no that's not the case please calm down-" I started to plead, but was interrupted with a harsh slap across the face.

He grabbed the collar of my shirt and pushed me against the door much rougher this time. "Do not tell me to fucking calm down. You want me to calm down, I suggest you choose your words wisely." he aggressively said as he pointed a finger in my face.

"I-Im sorry I won't do it again baby please." I was begging for him to stop at this point.

"Yeah I bet you won't. Now what's for dinner I'm starving over here." he said and let go of my shirt, walking into the living room.

"I'll go get started on dinner right now I promise." I said as I went to prep the food hoping that this will make him happy.

~~~

After I finished cooking, I plated the food and made my way into the living room to serve it to him.

"Here you go. I made your favorite." I said as I handed the plate to him.

"Thank you baby. Look I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't mean it, I just had a bad day at work and I took it out on you I'm sorry." he apologized like every other time he had hit me.

"It's okay Hayden. I understand it's okay. I shouldn't have left without telling you." I said as I sat on the couch next to him.

"You're always so forgiving. That's one of the reasons I love you so much, you know." he smiled and leaned over to kiss my lips before starting to eat his food.

Natasha’s POV:

The team had decided to head up to bed after Peter somehow won another round of Mario kart. Thor and Tony were the first to leave because the game was 'glitching' which made them lose and it made them mad.

I didn't want to go to sleep just yet. Even if I was tired I don't think I'd be able to sleep because I've been thinking about Y/N ever since she walked out of that door. I know she's not safe with Hayden and I still let her go back to him. But she probably didn't feel too safe with me either at the moment considering the way she flinched.

If I had just told her how I felt before she met Hayden, then maybe she wouldn't be going through this right now and she would be laying in my arms instead. I decided to go talk to Wanda since she's always willing to listen.

I made my way to her room and knocked on the door. I opened it after she said I could and walked inside before closing the door. I flopped onto the bed and heavily sighed.

"You okay?" she questioned.

"I don't know." I replied.

"You wanna talk about it or do you wanna just lay there and think?" she asked.

"I don't know what to do about Y/N." I answered.

"What exactly do you mean by that?" she replied trying to get me to give her more detail.

"Hayden isn't the right person for her. Anyone would think that if they knew everything we do. He hurts her, Wanda. Y/N is so sweet, and kind, and gentle. He's abusive and dangerous. She doesn't deserve that." I explained.

"You're right. she doesn't deserve that. But we can't help her unless she lets us. We don't know everything that goes on behind closed doors. So unless she's willing to talk to us about it, we can't do much except let her know we're there for her." she said.

"I know. But I also know that I could treat her better. I've loved her in silence for four years, and she's with that damn guy who's putting her through so much. I could be the better boyfriend." I rambled.

"And I believe you, Natasha. But she's scared. She's afraid of what he'll do if she tries to leave considering he hits her over things that will never be justifiable. I mean we don't have to know the full story to know that." she voiced.

"Do you think we could convince her that she deserves better and doesn't have to be scared. If she knows we're there for her then she might get the courage to break up with him. We could even be there when she does it." I express.

"That may work. But we also can't be too forward or demanding about it because she's already practically being controlled by him and if we're not careful, we might frighten her." she said.

"How do you always know what to say." I asked.

"Well you do rant to me a lot about Y/N so I guess I just learned what you need to hear." she joked.

"Do I really talk about her that much?" I playfully question.

"You're practically obsessed with her, Natasha." she claimed and I laughed knowing she wasn't all that wrong.

"Well good night. I'll see you tomorrow." I said as I stretched before getting up to go to my room.

Your POV:

The next morning I had gotten a text from my dad that he wanted me to come for dinner tonight and I should bring Hayden because he hasn't seen him in a while.

I agreed and went to go inform Hayden of the plan.

"Hey baby," I said as I walked into the bedroom.

"Fuck baby you made me die!" he yelled as he aggressively clicked the buttons on his keyboard, playing some video game.

"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't mean to." I quietly apologized.

"Why are you even in here, what do you want?" he asked annoyed.

"I was just gonna let you know that my dad wanted us to come by for dinner tonight if that was okay with you." I said wanting to make sure that he knew I wasn't trying to do this without his permission.

"Yeah fine whatever I don't care." he blankly replied.

"Okay. I was also just about to get a snack from the kitchen, do you want anything?" I asked.

"As a matter of a fact-" he started as he paused his game, stood up from the chair and started walking towards me.

"I do want something." he finished when he got to me, putting his hands on my waist and starting to kiss my neck.

"I want to apologize for how rude I've been to you lately." he quietly said.

"Hayden I-" I was interrupted.

"Shh baby let me make it up to you." he whispered as he began running his hands under my shirt.

"Hayden I don't- I'm not in the mood right now. We can do this later I promise." I tried to reason with him because I really didn't want to right now.

"Now you know better than to deny me of what I want, Y/N." he said sternly.

"I know baby I'm sorry. I just don't want to do this right now, please." I pleaded as I started to push on his chest.

He sighed annoyed, "If you know better, then why are you doing it. Shut your mouth and show me how sorry you really are." he pushed me back onto the bed before starting to undress and climbing onto of me while my eyes began to form tears.

~~~

It was now evening, and we were in the car on our way to the compound.

"You remember the rules I told you?" he asked with his eyes still on the road.

"Always stay with you, don't talk to Natasha alone, and don't tell anyone what you do to me." I answered.

"Good." he said as we pulled into a parking space and got out of the car.

I stayed by his side as we walked inside the compound, and he put his arm around my shoulders.

"Hey Y/N wanna play Mario kart with me?" Peter asked when he saw me walk inside.

"In minute Pete. I'm gonna go find my dad real quick." I said and he nodded.

I found my dad in the kitchen talking to Steve. When he saw Hayden and I, he put his cup down and walked over to me to give me a hug even though he just saw me yesterday.

"Hey Y/N, Hayden. I haven't seen you in a while, whats going on?" he asked as he shook his hand.

"Nothing much. Work has me busy so I apologize that I don't get to come around that often, sir." he replied with a smile as he put a hand in his pocket with his other arm still around me.

"Ah don't worry about it, I get it. I think Wanda just finished with the food so everyone's starting to take their seats now if you wanna go ahead and do the same." my dad said.

"Thank you, Mr. Stark." he answered with a small smile and nod of his head as he moved his hand to the small of my back to guide my towards the dining table.

He pulled my chair out for me before taking his own seat next to me. "If only he was always this much of a gentleman", I thought to myself.

Clint, Peter, and Thor sat down while talking about a new video game that came out when Hayden leaned over and gently turned my head to quietly speak into my ear.

"I'm going to the bathroom, stay here. Remember those last two rules." he demanded and I nodded my head. He stood up and went to my dad to ask where the bathroom was before he disappeared out of my sight.

"Hey Y/N." a voice said. I looked up and I saw Natasha.

"Oh, hey Nat." I said with a small smile.

"Did you bring Hayden?" she asked.

"Yeah he just went to the bathroom." I told her.

"Ah okay. I'm sorry, about last night. I didn't mean to scare you or anything. I was just worried about you." she said as she sat down in the chair Hayden was sitting in.

"Really it's okay. I don't know why I flinched like that. It wasn't your fault it, it was me." I reassured her.

"Hey Y/N!" a different voice said. I turned my head and saw Wanda walking towards us.

"Hi Wands. My dad said you just finished cooking, do you need help with anything? Plating or dishes?" I asked.

"Nah I put Kate and Yelena on that job so I could come talk to you." she said.

"Yeah actually we did have something else we wanted to talk to you about if you don't mind." Natasha added.

Wanda started talking again but I stopped focusing on what she was saying when I saw Hayden walk back into the room. When he saw I was talking to Natasha he looked furious as he turned around and walked back down the hallway.

"Y-yeah um give me one second. I'm sorry I'll be right back." I told them as I got up to follow Hayden.

"Hayden baby wait-" I called out for him. He stopped walking away from me and turned to walk towards me.

"I told you not to talk to that bitch." he said with a low, angry voice.

"You told me not to talk to her alone. I wasn't, I was with Wanda and other people were at the table too." I tried defending myself.

"You know what I meant, Y/N. And you went and blatantly disobeyed me." he said turning around, slowly pacing.

"I don't understand. Why are you always telling me what to do. It's not fair, Hayden. I should be able to talk to whoever I want to without you getting all possessive and insecure-" I was finally standing up for myself which I guess made him mad because I was interrupted by a hand connecting with my face, followed by a harsh sting.

What I didn't know was that Peter had happened to wander down the hallway we were in, heading for his room to get his Nintendo switch. He turned the corner at the exact moment Hayden hit me, which had understandably shocked Peter.

He didn't know what to do so he quietly turned around and sped walked back to the dining room where everyone was now seated and starting to eat.

"Um, Mr. Stark-" he began.

"Yeah, what's up kid?" he asked looking at Peter.

"I-I just saw Hayden hit Y/N." he said.

"He did what?! Hayden hit Y/N?!" he exclaimed.

"Yeah they were arguing and then he hit her." he confirmed Tony's worst nightmare.

"Where the hell are they?" Natasha demanded to know just as I walked back into the room with Hayden following behind.

Peter turned around and saw us, "Right there."

"Y/N?! Y/N honey are you okay?" my dad asked me as I emerged from the hallway.

"Yeah? I'm fine dad-" I started to say.

"Did Hayden hit you?!" he asked while looking at Hayden.

"What?! No! He didn't hit me, what- where-" I started asking confused as to who told him.

"Peter just said he saw Hayden hit you." Kate said from behind my dad.

"Did you hit my daughter?!" he said now asking Hayden.

"No sir I don't know what you're talking about-" he tried to say but was met with a punch straight to his face by my dad.

I was in speechless as Kate, Yelena, Wanda, and Natasha started surrounding me asking if I was okay. I watched as Steve and Clint pulled my dad off of Hayden.

I turned around to start walking to my room, overwhelmed by the amount of commotion happening. Wanda tried to stop me.

"Y/N wait-"

"Don't. Follow me." I said walking out of the room.

"I'll try talking to her." Natasha said, starting to head in the direction I went.

I heard someone knocking on the door, but I didn't feel like answering. I looked up when the door opened and closed anyways. It was Natasha.

"I said not to follow me." I reminded her.

"I just wanted to check on you and talk to you." she said softly. I stayed silent.

"Why did you put up with him for all those months." she asked.

I shrugged my shoulders, "I was scared."

She didn't say anything back knowing that I wasn't done yet.

"Scared he would hurt me more if I tried to leave." I finished.

"You know you could've asked us for help. We told you that." she said as she put a comforting hand on my elbow.

"I didn't wanna drag you guys into my mess. I got myself into it, I should've been able to get myself out, but I was scared." I told her as I started crying.

Natasha pulled me into her chest and held me as I cried.

"I've always been here for you Y/N. I want to be apart of your mess." she replied. I looked up at her confused and she could tell I didn't know what she meant. So she took a deep breath and continued talking.

"I've been in love with you even since we met Y/N. I didn't know how to tell you, and the day I was planning on telling you just happened to be the day you brought Hayden into the picture. I knew that I could be a better boyfriend than him and that you deserved someone better. I know I had time to tell you before that, but I was scared. I was too late and I didn't know what to do." she finished.

"Well you're not too late anymore." I quietly said.

"What do you- are you-" she stuttered confused.

"I like you too, Natasha." I cleared it up for her.

"Y-you do?" she asked in disbelief.

"Yes Nat. I thought I liked Hayden but I guess I was just looking for a distraction." I confessed.

She just started into my eyes.

"Can I kiss you?" she whispered and I nodded my head.

She placed one hand under my chin, gently titling my head up, keeping the other hand on my waist. She leaned in to place her lips on mine, giving me the most soft, loving kiss anyone has ever given me.

I deepened the kiss by putting my hands on both sides of her face, pulling her closer. We only pulled away slightly when air became a necessity.

"I've been wanting to do that for the longest time." she whispered and laughed.

"Was it just like you expected it to be?" I asked, hopeful.

"It was better than I ever could've imagined." she smiled and kissed me again.

Eventually the mental and emotional strain of the day finally caught up to me, so we switched to cuddling. Neither of us minded though.

Natasha laid down with her head propped up on a pillow as I curled into her side with my head nuzzled in the crook of her neck. She had her arms wrapped around me while one of my hands played with the collar of her shirt.

"Is it too early to tell you that I love you." she quietly said into my hair.

"I love you too." I told her and she kissed my head.

~~~

Later on, Wanda came to check on us, but backed away and closed the door again when she saw us cuddling. Me asleep on Natasha with her holding me.

"Took them long enough." she laughed to herself.

[hopefulromances]

hi love! can i request 3 or 16 with jamie and a male (or gn!) reader please? maybe following him to or from man city or just being the one to take care of jamie? thank you!

Yeah absoltuely! I hope you enjoy!

(I think I understood what you meant, lmk if you had something different in mind and I can write another.)

3.“I would follow you to the ends of the earth. I would follow you off of them."

You paced outside Nelson Road, waiting for someone to appear. Man City had been an emotional game to say the least. Watching Jamie play with such vigor, such passion, and made your heart swell with pride. Pride that had been quickly replaced with fear when Jamie fell and didn't get up.

He'd been able to get back up and score a solo goal but after that, he was sat out for the rest of the game. Now, you had to wait to see if he would remerge with the rest of the group, or if he'd already gone home.

See he didn't exactly know you'd come to the game. You were only out to a few people and hadn't really talked about a label for the realtionship quite yet. You'd met the team, and some of the coaches, but beyond that, it was still new. Usually, you'd just wait for him to come home but right now, you couldn't wait.

That's when Isaac and Dani came out of the door, laughing and chatting as they headed to their cars.

"Isaac!" You called out. "Is Jamie coming out?"

"Hey," Isaac replied. "Nah, bruv, he's still in there. Getting his foot looked at."

You nodded heading in that direction. Nelson road was a maze to you. Jamie insisted that it was straight forward but somehow, you always manged to get lost.

Eventually, you looked into a window and saw the poor boy, sitting on a table with his foot in a bucket of ice. The creaked the door open and knocked to gain his attention. He looked up, and when he saw you, he broke into a surprised smile.

"It's you!" He greeted, putting his phone away.

"It's me," you returned, giving him a hestitant smile.

"Well, what are you doing all the way over there, for, c'mere," Jamie insisted, holding out a hand for you.

You didn't need convincing. You moved over to him faster than you meant to and accepted his hug greedily.

"You were brilliant, Jamie, really," you murmured, resting your chin on his head.

"Did you follow me all the way to Manchester?" Jamie blurted, looking up at you.

"I'd follow you to the ends of the earth, I think," you shrugged, letting out a breathy laugh. "And probably would follow you off them as well."

Jamie flushed at the sweetness in your words. Then he winced, feeling a particularlly harsh cramp go through his leg. Right! His foot! You'd nearly forgotten!

"Oh, Jamie, how do you manage to always get yourself in these situations?" You sighed, kneeling down to look at his foot.

"I do it so I can see you all flustered like you are right now," he goaded, kicking his foot up a bit. You glared at him. "See, look how cute you look."

"Well, you definetly won't be on it for a few days," you instructured, moving it around delicately. "Gotta keep it raised for a while."

He saluted at you, looking very serious. "Whatever you say, doctor."

Then the door opened from behind you and two people walked in. One of them you recognized as Roy Kent, former player turned coach for Richmond, the other was a women you vaguely recognized but couldn't name.

"Oh, shit!" She swored, looking between the two of you. "Are we interupting something?"

"Not at all!" Jamie grinned, pulling you back up into his side. "This is (Y/N), my boyfriend."

Boyfriend. The label fell so easily off his tongue. You glanced down at Jamie, somewhat in shock, but he just held you tighter.

The women squealed in excitement as she rushed towards you. "Hi! I'm Keeley Jones! It's a pleasure to meet you."

"You drink?" The man next to her asked. You nodded. "Good. I'm Roy."

He shoved a bottle of champagne in your hand and went to pull up a chair. You stood there, still reeling from the situation, but one tug from Jamie had you sitting down by his side. As his boyfriend. In a room with two of his close friends. Yeah, this definetly felt right.

[your-divine-ribs]

The Devil Next Door Part 8

Words: 2.9k

The Devil Next Door Masterlist Main Masterlist

❤️‍🔥 Y/N’s POV ❤️‍🔥

Life is full of surprises, but finding Van sprawled on his back in your flowerbed at nearly midnight, clutching your prize rose bush, is one that you never dreamed you would have to face.

You'd been so close to kissing Tom, your lips just millimetres apart, a hair's breadth to be more precise, when you'd heard the most almighty cacophony erupt from right outside your window. You'd jumped practically a foot into the air, a shocked squeal escaping you as you'd pushed away from Tom, ignoring his cries of "Wait Y/N" and "Hold up, you don't know who the hell's out there!"

But you did... that's just the thing. Tom was likely imagining some crazed burglar trying to brazenly gain entry into your house, but you knew better. Much as you'd tried to assure yourself that Van would never dream up an elaborate ruse to interrupt your alone time with Tom, you really shouldn't have underestimated him. You should have known it would be just like him to pull some childish, petty prank to put a spanner in the works of your tentative flirtations with a potential new boyfriend. He just couldn't stand it, he couldn't stand the thought of you inviting Tom inside and over-looking him. He was probably fully expecting that you wouldn't be able to resist him.

"Van! What the fuck? What the hell are you doing?"

The words tear from your throat like a wail at the sight of him lying there, hands still attached claw-like to the wooden trellis which had been fixed, rather firmly by all accounts, to the wall by your kitchen window. There's no way it could be wrenched completely free unless he'd applied a fair amount of force... or his full body weight... if he'd been climbing it. And there was only one possible explanation why he'd want to do that. A quick glance up at your kitchen window and the bright light peeking through from a gaping opening in the slats of your blinds makes it seem all too obvious. He'd been spying on you. The sneaky fucker had been spying on you. There was no other explanation.

"I... err.. I lost my key... I thought I'd dropped it but I can't find it anywhere. Don't suppose I could come in, eh?"

His hesitant voice is a lot quieter than normal with none of his usual cockiness shining through. He looks between you and Tom, a sheepish grin surfacing as he raises his head, gingerly pushing the trellis aside as he tries to hoist himself upwards. Tom immediately steps forward, offering Van a hand and pulling him up easily on to his feet.

"Bloody hell mate, you went down with a right crash!" Tom chuckles as Van fidgets where he stands, brushing leaves and twigs and soil off his clothing. "Wondered what the hell it was. Thought someone was tryin' to break in or something. Gave us a right fright!"

"Yeah well... gave myself one too," Van murmurs in reply. "I'm completely sober as well!"

He cracks an awkward grin at Tom and then his eyes swivel to you and it wavers. You suppose the infuriated look on your face is to blame but you can't help it. You're actually seething, the more you think about him skulking around out here in the dark peering through your window, the more worked up you're getting. There's no way you're letting him get away with this. No way at all. You'll make him own up to his sneaky misdemeanours one way or another.

"So... you lost... your key?" You say the words slowly, letting sarcasm coat each syllable, carefully watching Van's reaction.

"Err... yeah... yeah I did," he falters, hands patting down his jacket pockets then delving into the back pockets of his jeans as if to demonstrate. "I actually lost it the other day when I was giving you that flier, completely slipped my mind until I tried to get in tonight. I thought maybe it'd fallen out of my pocket... somewhere over here..." His voice trails off as he bows his head, scanning the paving slabs like his key will miraculously appear, but of course it won't. You know damn well that this is just an excuse... and a feeble one at that.

"Care to tell me how looking for your key involves ripping my trellis off the wall, eh? And ending up flat on your back in my flower bed?"

You raise your eyebrows at Van, hands braced on your hips whilst he looks back at you, lips flapping as he stutters out a garbled excuse. "I just... it's errr... it's so dark out 'ere I couldn't see a thing, it's pitch black! I.. I must've lost my footing and I just grabbed on to the nearest thing I could find. I dunno... it all happened so quick." He grimaces, a hand raising up to touch the back of his head. "Really smashed my head an' all. Think I might have a concussion."

Serves you bloody right!

The words are there, right on the tip of your tongue, but you hold them back, your anger battling against your nurturing side. Van's not only a creep for spying on you, but a liar too. He's also likely purposefully trying to sabotage your night out with Tom just to wind you up. You should be mad at him, furious even, but you just can't bring yourself to send him on his way. You can't deny that there's something slightly endearing about his sulky little pout and the puppy dog eyes he's fixing you with now, and the fact that he's covered in mud and got sprigs of rose bush protruding from his hair has got you biting the inside of your cheek to stifle a laugh.

"Concussion? I doubt it. You can't have fallen that far. It's not like you were climbing the thing is it?" You place extra emphasis on the last sentence, glaring at Van and his eyes go wide as he shifts awkwardly.

"Climbing it?" His tone is horrified. "Why the fuck would I be doing that?"

"I don't know Van, you tell me." You smirk knowingly back at him, hands leaving your hips to fold across your chest. His face instantly creases as he shakes his head hurriedly. You're positive if you weren't standing outside in the dark you'd see a flush in his cheeks.

"What are ya trying to say? I just fell... that's all... I swear!"

You're enjoying watching him squirm that much that you open your mouth to fire out an accusation, but at that moment Tom steps forward, a friendly hand on Van's shoulder. "I know it's late but you probably ought to check him over Y/N... just in case. You know as well as I do that you can't be too careful with head injuries." He turns to Van. "Not your night is it? First your finger and now this! I've never met anyone so accident prone in all my life! At least you're in capable hands though."

He's grinning at you and to your dismay he starts backing away. "So sorry, I know I said I was gonna stay for a drink but those early shifts are a killer. Think I'm gonna head off if that's okay? I'll catch up with you when you come into work tomorrow afternoon though at changeover, yeah?"

"Hold on... Tom..." you start, words catching in your throat as you purposefully stop yourself, not wanting to sound so needy that you'd beg him to stay a little longer. He pauses and you smile instead, mumbling a goodbye. Then he's turning and stepping away down the garden path, leaving you and Van alone to stew in the uncomfortable silence that you begrudgingly break.

"I suppose you'd better come in then..."

❤️‍🔥 Van's POV ❤️‍🔥

When I'd planned to get Y/N on her own tonight it certainly wasn't under these circumstances. She's still scowling as she instructs me to take a seat in the kitchen so that she can assess my injuries. I can't blame her though. I'm a sorry-ass state, I just know it. My jeans are coated in mud, my fingers are prickling with scratches and thorns and every time I reach up to brush my hair back I end up with a handful of leaves and twigs.

Smooth Van... real smooth...

"I bet you've opened up that cut again," she grumbles, reaching for my hand and pulling it upwards so she can inspect it closely. "Ahh look... you've gone and got dirt in it." She frowns at my wounded finger that's definitely throbbing. "You know it's really important to keep cuts clean to minimise the risk of infection."

"Maybe you could... clean it for me... again..."

The words trip off my tongue without me even thinking about them. They're spoken innocently, they really are, but as soon as they've left my mouth I consider the hidden implication in them. The fact that my thoughts have unconsciously slipped back to the venue's back room and Y/N on her knees at my feet with her lips wrapped delicately around my finger. One look at her expression shows that I'm not the only one. Her eyes widen a little and her cheeks start to colour.

"I didn't mean... err... I didn't mean... like that!"

"I'm just going to get my first aid kit," she blurts, dropping my hand like it's red hot and backing quickly away until she spins on her heel and ducks out of the kitchen.

I need to pull myself together and fast. I don't normally feel awkward around girls. I'm usually on top form with my cheeky banter and cocky flirtations but for some reason Y/N has got me in a spin yet again. I'm not sure if it's the fact that she likely suspects I was snooping on her earlier or the knock to my head but my mind's a jumbled mess. Either way I don't have much time to ponder it. She comes bustling back into the kitchen carrying a large box which she sets down on the table, grabbing for another chair which she pulls up right in front of me, sitting down. She's so close that our knees knock together.

"Let's clean up this finger then," she says in a business-like manner, but her eyes flick up to mine quickly and all of a sudden she's cracking a small grin. "Properly this time," she adds. And just like that, the ice is broken. I smile back.

"You know I'm not opposed to the method you used earlier."

I grin at her, relief flooding me when she giggles. She turns her attention towards the box, opening it up and reaching for a packet of sterile wipes. "I suppose I should say sorry about that... I'm not really sure what came over me. It was just a spur of the moment thing."

"No apology necessary," I'm quick to reply. "It certainly took my mind off all the blood." I flinch sharply as she presses the wipe against the cut, trying to hide it by shifting where I sit. "I'm sorry for being such a wimp by the way... and for annihilating your rose bush. I wasn't up to no good... really. Scouts honour."

She's quiet for a moment as she carefully cleans the cut and the surrounding scratches I've endured from the thorns, and I watch her brow pull up into a small crease. "So... you weren't... like spying on me then?"

She speaks slowly and quietly, more curious than accusing this time and for some reason this makes me feel even worse. I feel warmth rise to my cheeks immediately, radiating outwards until I'm hot all over. I'm just lucky that Y/N's so preoccupied with wrapping a bandage around my finger that she's not looking directly at me.

"Of course not!" I say quickly. "Why would I be doing that? I'm not some sort of weirdo ya know."

She huffs quietly under her breath and that just makes me blush even harder. I swear even the tips of my ears are probably glowing now. And then she looks up, her eyes scanning my face.

"I just thought you might be trying to mess things up for me. Ever since you moved in next door you've been deliberately going out of your way to wind me up at every opportunity."

Fuck... she's gorgeous up close like this. Even prettier than I realised. Her eyes are breathtaking, framed by thick lustrous lashes that dust her cheeks when she blinks. Her skin looks soft and her lips are plump and glossy and I watch, mesmerised, as her tongue darts out to run along the curve of her lower lip. I'm aware that I'm staring but I can't stop. I fake a cough like I'm clearing my throat to buy me a few moments of time as I try to rein in my thoughts and compose myself.

"I could say the same for you. I think you'd already made your mind up that we weren't going to get along before we'd even exchanged two words!"

"Well... I admit I did jump to conclusions when I first saw you and Bondy... but I wasn't wrong."

She's frowning lightly again as she leans in, looking right into my eyes with an intensity that makes my heart pick up a pace. She's so close I can smell her perfume and I swallow thickly. But then she's moving back, grabbing for her phone off the side and tapping at the screen, her voice disgruntled and tired-sounding as she continues. "You're noisy as hell. You play that goddamn guitar every hour of the day and night. You've had several late-night parties that you didn't even bother to tell me about..."

"The next one's on Friday... consider yourself invited!" I cut in, earning myself a barely hidden eye-roll.

"I don't want a bloody party invite! I just want you to be a little bit more considerate!" Her voice goes up by an octave, then she lets out an exasperated sigh as she brings her phone up to eye level. "Now look straight ahead... that's it... keep your eyes open wide... I need to check your pupils."

I blink a few times, then keep my eyes wide as instructed. At first I'm focussed on nothing but then her face swims into view so I concentrate on looking at her, directly into her eyes, unblinking. She's looking right back and for some reason it feels like the world grinds to a halt momentarily. She's stunning... absolutely breathtaking. I feel like I've been set adrift. Her breath is warm on my face and I swear I hear it hitch lightly before all of a sudden there's a blinding light from her phone's flashlight that makes me jolt and the world starts turning again.

"Jesus... you tryin' to blind me or summat!" I exclaim, blinking rapidly to clear the flashes of light that are bursting like fireworks against my retinas.

"Just checking for concussion... like you said," she replies, her voice flustered as she quickly rises up off her seat. "And you're fine... everything looks okay..." A pause as I sit there looking up at her. "So you're free to go... I guess."

I detect hesitance in her voice and I definitely don't want to go. My mind's racing and my heart's thumping. I feel like I've been transported back to my awkward teenage years when I used to sit starry-eyed with my acoustic guitar, writing sappy lyrics about some unattainable crush I'd fallen head over heels for. But I'm not a teenager anymore, I'm a grown man. I need to do something... and fast. She's turned away, busying herself by packing up her first aid kit.

"Are ya really gonna send me on my way at this time of night? I can't get in my house, remember?" She stops what she's doing and I get to my feet, sliding my hand into my jacket pocket, turning my front door key over in my hand, feeling guilty for all of about two seconds until I see a tiny smile twitch at the corner of Y/N's lips which she promptly hides as she looks back down. She doesn't want me to go either. I'm sure of it.

"Errr... I guess not... I guess you could stay," she mumbles, still not looking at me. "Just until Bondy gets home," she adds quickly and I silently pray to myself that Bondy's on one of his legendary drinking sessions.

"Yeah, yeah, of course, thank you," I say, stepping closer and reaching out to rest a hand gently on her forearm, stilling her. She freezes, her head quickly snapping up to face me, her expression quizzical.

I try for a smile, hoping it's as warm as I'm feeling inside right now. "Look... Y/N... maybe we just got off on the wrong foot... and I'll admit I'm not always the easiest person to be around." She smiles back, soft and encouraging, spurring me on. "So how about we try again, huh?"

A pause. I realise I'm holding my breath. She doesn't move away or flinch under my touch, she just looks up at me, her smile growing.

"Yeah... yeah. I'd like that..."

[stargazer-sims]

Journal Entry 46 (part five)

previously - Journal Entry #46 (part four)

Yuri

The first thing I noticed as Dr. Julian pulled into our driveway was an unfamiliar vehicle already parked there; a midnight blue SUV of a model so common in Mt. Komorebi that one might almost be able to say it's ubiquitous. My mother and father have matching silver ones, and my friend Takahiro has an older one that’s an eye-popping bright yellow, but I'd never seen one of this dark blue colour at my house before. I had no idea who owned it, and that fact alone made me anxious.

I already had my seat belt off and I was climbing out before Dr. Julian had even shut down the engine. I dashed for the house, heedless of the potential risk of slipping on the ice and snow, shouting my husband's name as I went.

The moment I flung open the front door, I heard, "Yuri! Is that you?"

I didn't even bother to take my boots off. Skidding around the corner from the entryway to the sitting room, I saw Victor sitting on the floor. At first glance, he didn't seem to be hurt beyond the injuries he already had, but he looked shaken and scared.

I ran to him and dropped to my knees beside him on the floor. "Victor, are you okay? What happened? Whose car is that outside?"

He didn't reply straight away, and I thought perhaps I'd overwhelmed him with too many questions at once. Eventually he said, "I... I'm okay," but the tears that had started to run down his cheeks as he spoke seemed to belie that.

"What happened?"

"I missed you."

"I missed you too, but I meant, what happened while I was gone? Why are you on the floor?"

"I heard my phone ringing," he said.  "I wanted to answer, but I couldn't get to it. Hana put it on the kitchen counter so I couldn't reach it."

"Hana?" I echoed. I felt a sudden tightness in my stomach that had nothing to do with the symptoms of my illness. "My sister Hana?"

"Yeah.”

“What was she doing here?” I asked. “And how did she get in?”

“I don’t know why she came,” Victor said weakly. “I guess it was just… she said she wanted to talk to you. I… I’m sorry. I didn't know she had a key."

“A key? To our house?”

Of course, to our house. How else would Hana have gotten in? I knew it was a ridiculous question the moment it left my mouth, but I think I was too shocked for logic.

“Y-yeah," Victor said.

“I didn’t know she had access to a key either,” I said.

That piece of knowledge bothered me a lot, to say nothing of the multitude of questions it generated. How had Hana gotten a key, and how long had she had it?

I tried to account for all the possible keys. Victor and I each have one, the former caretaker Mr. Kojima probably still has one, and Uncle Kaz would have one since this is his house. There wasn't any realistic way for Hana to get her hands on any of those.

Then, it occurred to me.

My mother.

Mama had a key to the house, back when we first moved in. Despite my uncle paying Mr. Kojima to come and look in on the place three times a week while no one had been living here, I guess he felt it was necessary for my mother to have access as well. Mama wouldn't have taken the key with her when she travelled to America. She would have left it at home.

Hana knows where our parents hide the spare key to their house. She must've let herself in when Papa wasn't there and then taken our key.

That was the only conclusion that made sense, but it was something I really didn't like to think about. If Hana had the key, that meant she or, more worryingly, Ren could've gotten in here at any time. Had Papa known? Was that the reason he'd insisted on staying with me while Victor was in the hospital?

I gathered Victor in my arms and he sagged against me with a tired little whimper. Again, he said, “Sorry.”

"It's all right, my treasure. You don't need to apologize. It's not your fault," I said. "All that matters is you're okay."

"My arms hurt," he said pitifully. "I'm kinda shaken up, I guess, but I’m okay otherwise. But, Hana... she didn't want me to talk to you before you got home."

Probably because she didn't want me to call anyone else, I concluded. Like the police, for instance.

"Is that why she took your phone?"

"Yeah,” Victor said. “She said I’d have to get to it the best way I knew how. Then she laughed at me when I tried, and…” His breath seemed to catch, and the rest of what he’d been about to say got lost. After a few more shuddering breaths, he told me, “I wanted you to come home so bad.”

“I’m here now,” I murmured. “I’ve got you. You’re safe.”

“But… Hana’s still here.”

"What? Where is she?"

"Upstairs," he said. "Taking a shower."

I tried to cultivate the appearance of outward calm for Victor’s benefit, but inside I was seething. First, my sister somehow obtained a key to our house, then she let herself in without permission while Victor was alone, and then she put his phone out of reach so he couldn’t answer my calls or contact anyone. Now she was making herself at home and showering in our upstairs bathroom? How dare she...?

I was still in the midst of silently fuming when Dr. Grace and Dr. Julian made their way in. They both rushed over, and Dr. Grace got down on the floor with us. The look on her face was almost as alarmed as I imagined my own had been when I first entered the house.

She touched Victor's back. "Everything okay?"

"Mom?" He raised his head from my shoulder, and turned to look in her direction. "Mom! I was waiting..."

That's as far as he got before a new flood of tears started. I eased him out of my arms and into hers, and she kissed him on the side of his face before enveloping him in a hug that looked painful.

The half-groan, half-grunt he let out a split-second later confirmed that it did indeed hurt.

Dr. Grace gasped and instantly relaxed her arms. "I'm sorry, baby. I forgot about your rib."

"It's okay," Victor said. "Just don't squeeze so tight."

As Victor settled in his mother's arms again, Dr. Julian asked, "What happened?"

"My sister," I told him. "She stole the key to our house from my parents and got in, and she took Victor's phone so he couldn't answer my calls."

"That sounds like a story."

"Yes, and it's one I fully intend to get to the bottom of," I said.

"She's a horrible person," Victor said, his words muffled slightly against the fabric of his mother's coat. "I don't say that about people too often, but I think she likes hurting us."

"Well, if she wants to hurt you now, she's going to have to get past me first," Dr. Grace said. "I'll have a few choice words for her."

"No," Victor said. "It's better if you don't get involved. Stay away from her. She's dangerous."

"I agree with Victor," I said. "Hana isn't the sort of person who'd listen to you or even care about what you have to say. The only person she has any regard for is herself."

"Yeah," Victor added. "Plus, she'd just use anything you said against us after you're gone."

Dr. Grace didn't look happy, but she acquiesced. "Okay. I won't interfere if you boys don't want me to, but I just want you to know, I don't like this."

"None of us do," I said. "Things have been relatively peaceful since before Winterfest, and I was hoping it'd stay that way, but unfortunately, my sister thrives on drama."

"Can we not talk about her any more?" Victor said. "I feel like I've reached my Hana limit for one day."

Despite the situation, I had to smile at that. “I can imagine.”

I hadn’t even seen her yet, and I’d already reached my Hana limit for one day. Unfortunately, I realized that, limit or not, I was likely about to have more contact with my sister than I’d ever reasonably wanted in my adult life.

"Let's get off the floor, shall we?" Dr. Grace suggested.

Dr. Julian, who was already standing, extended a hand to me. "Need some help, Yuri?"

I nodded, grateful for the offer, and let him assist me in getting to my feet. "Thank you."

Much to my astonishment, Dr. Grace helped Victor up by herself. She's about my size, but is apparently much stronger than I am. I'd been struggling for the past few days to help him move from place to place, but she seemed to have no difficulty whatsoever in getting her son up from the floor.

"There you go," she said. "That's better, isn't it? Do you want to sit on the couch? We can relax and catch up."

He stood there looking awkward. "I know you just got here and everything, but... I really just want to go to bed for a while, if that's okay with you. My head hurts, and my arms are hurting really bad. I’m not exactly in a socializing mood.”

"Okay," Dr. Grace said. "Want me to tuck you in?"

"Yeah," he said, nodding slightly. Then, he glanced in my direction. "Yuri, I think I'm gonna need to take one of those painkillers, too. I don't really want to, but—"

"If you need them, you need them," I said. "I know you don't like how they make you feel, but it's a choice between that and being too uncomfortable to rest."

"Not the best choices," he said.

"You won't need them forever. In a couple of weeks, the worst should be over."

"I hope so."

"I'll get your medication," I said. "Your mom can get you settled, and I'll be there in a minute. Do you need your wheelchair?"

At that, Dr. Grace frowned. "Wheelchair? Victor, why in the world would you need a wheelchair?"

"Uh... to get around," Victor mumbled.

“Did you hurt your back or your legs?”

No, but…” He stopped, clearly unsure how to put the answer into words that his mother would accept.

“He’s been having trouble walking since his accident,” I said. “He's going to have therapy, but his doctor thought the wheelchair would be a good solution in the meantime.”

This was a version of the truth that I felt would be palatable for everyone, for providing a logical explanation yet not getting into too much detail. I hoped it would satisfy Victor’s mother, at least.

Dr. Julian looked from me to the stairs and back again. "How does that work? I presume your bedroom is upstairs."

"We've been sleeping in the dining room," I said. "The two of you can have your choice of rooms upstairs."

Judging by her expression, it seemed Dr. Grace wanted to offer her opinion on the current state of things in our home, but she must've thought better of it. Focusing on Victor again, she said, "You can walk to the dining room."

"I don't know if I can walk that far," Victor said.

"Of course you can, sweetie. It's not that far, and I'll help you," she said.

“What if I can’t?”

"Remember when you learned to skate? You were scared at first and you didn't think you could do it. You wanted me and Uncle Stephen to hold onto you, but it only took you about five minutes to realize you could do it by yourself. By the time we were ready to leave, you and Leo were both skating circles around us."

“This is different,” Victor said.

"Why is it different?"

"Because it just is."

He sounded as if he was on the edge of panic. That was the last thing I wanted to happen, and so I came to stand by his other side. "Victor," I said. "Listen to me for a second. Do you remember what you promised me this morning?"

"I don't know," he said.

"You said you'd practice walking a little, once your family got here."

"Oh," he said. "Three minutes."

"Right," I said. "If we're going to do a 5K walk in the summer, you actually need to be able to walk, don't you? Nobody's going to push you past your limits, but you told me you could do three minutes, and I really need you to try to do that much, okay?"

"I wish it wasn't so hard."

"I know, but remember what you keep telling me. Anything worth having is worth working for. Getting your independence back is worth working for, don't you think?"

"Yeah."

"I know you can do it,” I said. “I'm going to fetch your medication, and when I come back, I expect you'll be halfway there, if not farther."

"Okay," he agreed, although he was reluctant.

He was taking his first shaky steps, with his mother supporting him on one side and Dr. Julian on the other, as I made my way into the downstairs bathroom to collect his pain medication from the medicine cabinet above the sink. I couldn't hear any water running in the upstairs bathroom, but I thought I could hear a hair dryer. If that's what it was, and my sister was fixing her hair after her shower, then Victor might actually make it to his bed before she came downstairs.

I hoped that would be the case. Even though I knew having a confrontation with her myself was inevitable, I didn't want Victor to encounter her again. She'd hurt him already today, and I was determined to protect him from any further harm she intended to cause.

[castle-dominion]

4x23 always

Liveblog

ooh <3 always, great title!

I can't believe it has been a whole season since the shot! Good recap sequence!

Ok lmao both my father & I have fallen down mountains before. You cannot catch yourself like that, & if you do then you are probably able to swing yourself to the side to land on that balcony there. Like you can see, she pulls herself to get a better grip there!

But once one arm falls, you need to pull it back up & grab a different (non-sweaty) part of the ledge. & while yes your fingers are strong, you would do better to Bring Up Your Other Hand

Ok def sounded like castle not "man" as the captions said, then it sounded like "someone" pretending to be castle, then it sounded somewhat like castle again. (first "beckett" might have been SD told to speak like castle, could have been a different person told so. Then it was def not castle, then it was someone pretending to be castle & then the "hang on" was castle again.)

Still tho, I don't much like the unrealistic hanging scene. Actually no I really did like it & I can find reasonable excuses for the stuff I find unreasonable. It's cool.

3 days earlier

no caps. I love it.

Alexis <3 <3 <3

oh lmao she is valedictorian. I sometimes relate castle & alexis to me & my mom, but in this situation mum is alexis (smart val) & I'm castle (barely passed).

or TWILIGHT! *blinks*

RC: You know, the most worthwhile things in life are often the most difficult. For example…

*phone rings from beckett*

RC: Wow, that really is a smart phone.

btw love the golden light

KB, with a bomb cute jacket: you're probably the guy who had nothing on but boxers underneath his gown.

Me: *ran away from my graduation & climbed my way on top of a giant dumpster/storage pod*

RC: That is so insulting. If you must know, I was naked underneath.

THEY ARE GOING ON A DATE A DATE A DATE

KB: You coming, Castle?

SDFHSKJDHF I LOVE IT

Hm, two shots...

Love a shoe thing

Ooh lockpicks. Nice. I finally picked one of my locks the other day. I was using my rake tho, not my feeling peg so I would not be easily able to recreate it. I want one of those clear locks that you can see through.

Cazadores, love it when they tap the r.

Ryan is not super pretty rn

lmao poor guy down on his luck broke af, goes into the military? Sounds about right. Screw the military, this poor kid.

Captions were missing the accent on the N

Marisol? parasol? paraplui? paranormal? paralysis? analysis? synthesis? Synthwave? Literally my little brother & I went down a thought path like this. we both have adhd btw. I can't remember what thoughts came after that but we got all the way to fruit-by-the-foot.

How old is she?

I believe her.

F yeah girl. They keep blaming him & you just want to get the one who killed him.

They are so wrecking the crime scene lol.

Love how he smells the gun to see if it was fired recently ugh so good.

MONTGOMERY'S HOUSE???

Love how beckett & espt know his address but ryan looks shocked & castle (who was friends, or at least acquainted with montgomery before the show) did not know.

That was ryan not esposito who said that. This time I could tell.

Doesn't he have three kids? These pics are so weird. Roy, his wife, an older daughter, some boy... oh maybe it is a boyfriend. The baby boy would be what like 5 by now?

Girl I hope it is Not Loaded. In canada you need to have your gun locked up, though on the farm we would only lock up the bullets not the gun.

Love her.

So he knew when they were out of the house.

Btw I love espt's scar on his forehead & beckett's mole on her cheek, both give a little bit of Character to them.

Well obv this is going to be a plot heavy episode, but now is about the time I'd say it has to do with beckett not just roy & his files.

It has been like a year, or almost a year, why would you still have his old work files? nvm a year is a really short period of time

Her handwriting right now...

also I like her turtleneck.

I mean it COULD be a coincidence & it could be just for their own personal gain like maybe some rando roy put in jail & it is not actually related to johanna (in fact it makes things harder for The Big Bad Guy bc now Rando has the files)

Castle is still here, he did not leave after all <3.

She is stirring her coffee so smoothly.

KB: Say something reassuring.

RC: There are thousands of break-ins in New York City every year.

He's right: "Montgomery worked hundreds of cases. Just because this guy was after files doesn't mean he was after your mom's case."

Castle now might be the time to tell her

Green intro. Remind me to take a pic of that

Martha <3

Ooh transition! Murderboard to murderboard!

Yeah no she looks tired af.

Holding hands & they are not quite together yet but aaaah

Esposito looks nice & ryan looks incredible. Must pic this.

They blamed gangs for johanna's murder too

A MONTH after mongt was killed!?

That door really WENT. they BLEW IT UP.

Finally! They are wearing helmets!

Esposito *gets file* *face goes*

Ryan *what???? what is it?* *takes file* *face also goes*

RC: Well at least that's something. What was the crime scene?

JE: It was a shooting.

Me: ...!

their faces upon telling her, you can see how much they love her

Ryan's hands dangling there like that.

You can see ryan feeling conflicted abt this.

RC: Maybe you should be off this case.

Me: So true bestie

He brings out the first name. He loves her so much & wants her to be safe. In fact, castle has confided in him, like that time he asked ryan to keep an eye out for stuff related to johanna's murder but didn't tell becks nor espt.

(that was a weird way of pronouncing "why")

Esposito is right tho in the sense that nothing will stop her. (Except maybe castle telling her that someone forced him into a deal for her life.)

(also ryan's hair & the way he avoids eye contact)

I think I remember seeing something in the s5 bloopers but this is s4... hmm weird. I'll clip it for u tho.

No the heck you do not hold all the cards...

Who is "they"?

tbh smith is kind of unhelpful with that. I mean the rest of it was good but... idk man.

also like, they just killed another person. a thief. How many more people are they going to kill if they don't get taken down? Beckett would SO be willing to put her life in (temporary) danger to take down this ring that not only wants to kill her but also other ppl sometimes. Is her one life worth more than the lives of so many others who die because of this? They are turning a blind eye on so many things to let her live...

Interesting lighting. like the scene with alexis.

Girl he is more afraid of Them than of you.

Oh or not or he's telling her stuff

"make him whole" interesting words

Same "they"?

He KNEW he would come back to the gang & he accepted that price? Even tho he literally said he just wanted the loan? & the wife said he would not get into that?

Vincente Delgado, being poetic: Caught a glimpse before the night swallowed him whole.

KB: Yeah, but how did they know [he was desperate for money]? How do they know his background?

Me: bc they can tap into police files?

JE: Because they knew him from the military. He was hired by somebody he knew.

Me: or that

RC, trying to keep everyone safe: But whoever's gotten close to that secret is dead. I think it's clear we're in over our heads here.

JE: Speak for yourself, bro.

of course she is. If you get a mysterious $10k & don't question it & then your husband ends up dead you too would run.

Oh no the poor son!

WHAT is going ON with the lighting?

Also this room needs to be brighter than the observation room.

GIRL NO. WE ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH NATIVE KIDS IN THE FOSTER SYSTEM

Captions come on, I want to read what she said! I'm hard of hearing but I am NOT monolingual! If hearing people can understand the spanish, I WANT TO SEE THE SPANISH.

Someone military.

Getting files from the dead cop's house.

Montgomery would DEF have duplicate files hidden somewhere of the important files at least.

I love a good church. We have a native church where I live & it serves as the base church for other ethnic churches. The huge & popular italian church got its start here, the eritrean church is still in here just getting started... Plenty of good programs. It is a great church. It is one of the few churches I feel comfy going to, as a queer fnmi christowitch.

They just happen to sit near the back of the church?

& he just happens to show his face?

You can just go through the files manually.

What does cid stand for btw?

KR: How are we supposed to investigate if we can’t investigate?

My little bro while I had it paused: "I work in homicide." 'YOU KILL PEOPLE?'

Nice zoom there, love it, going into her window murderboard.

Wow a lot of shots from the past there, love it.

Oh & now we see castle doing castle investigation at home!

& we also see esposito doing investigation at night in the precinct, which kind of sucks for him, he hasn't gone home yet. (Also they haven't made his apartment set yet lol)

What is that, a pair of pliars? A razorblade?

& we don't get to see ryan investigating?

Wow he shows up at her house & esposito called her & he was ABLE TO FIGURE OUT THAT IT WAS A KEYCHAIN?

But at least it's a haystack.

He's going to tell her!

& he is not talking about mental health.

Ok so now Tell Her!

RC: Before Montgomery went into that hangar, he sent a package to someone, someone…he trusted. It contained information damaging to the person behind all this. Montgomery was trying to protect you. But the package didn’t arrive until after you’d been shot. Montgomery’s friend…struck a deal with them. If they left you alone, the package and the information inside would never see the light of day. But they made one condition—you had to back off. And that’s the reason you’re alive, Kate, because you stopped.

He's crying he loves her he really does.

Ok chill! Also he was not the one striking the deal! He was a pawn!

Yeah I thought he was behind the murder too but he could not have been bc why would he SAVE kate? maybe he is NOT saving her but he is preventing her from looking into it.

Yeah bro now is not the time to bring it up

(but I always love a "because I love you" & it is always SO good)

RC: How are you s—? Because of everything we’ve been through together! Four years I’ve been right here. Four years just waiting for you to just open your eyes, and see that I’m right here…and that I’m more than a partner. Every morning, I—I bring you a cup of coffee just so I could see a smile on your face, ((AAA <3 <3 <3)) because I think you are the most…remarkable…maddening…challenging…frustrating person I have ever met. And I love you, Kate, and if…that means anything to you, if you care about me at all, just don’t do this.

KATE NO HE WAS NOT THE ONE WHO CUT THE DEAL LIKE YOU WERE A CHILD. MONTGOMERY DID BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU LIKE HE IS YOUR FATHER. AAAAAAAGH

Actually yk what? He should have told her ages ago that someone struck a deal & she would have to back off. Except she would not have listened, just like this conversation now.

KB: Let them come. They sent Coonan, and he is dead. They sent Lockwood, and he is dead. And I am still here, Castle! And I am ready!

Ugh I had to stop my watch (which was the plan in the first place anyway) but I had the opportunity to try on my computer, I wanted to finish watching the ep & maybe post some photos that I could more easily get, but the issue is the library DVDs we have are blue ray. My computer won't play them. So yeah that's fun. I ended up doing some recording for the audiobook which I have not worked on in over a year. (About since I've been on T.)

Ok good morning I have work at 16.00 (so I need to leave before 14.45) & it is only 10 right now so I have plenty of time. But ofc I am working until midnight so that sucks pine sap. Tho I will be let off 15 minutes early so I can get home w/o breaking the law.

sdfjkfdhdsjkhhdffdkash aaaaaaah hdskjhfdska;euvn

& alexis is graduating... I cannot believe it is 2012. I mean half of 09 (s1 was short), all of 10, all of 11, & "all" of 12 (tho it has kind of only been 6m of 2012 bc she is graduating now in june)

I put my graduation tassle on my bike helmet. I rode my back to school during the warm months & I had an extra year of high school after graduating so I got to bike to school boasting that I graduated.

AC: I have watched or read every graduation address ever written and compiled all the best advice into one speech,

Me: Good idea, you overachiever

AC: and then I read it out loud. And guess what I sounded like? A pompous ass.

Me: Yeah

AC: I’m eighteen years old. What the hell do I know?

Me: You are correct, you are missing a lot more life experience than you will end up with, but you have a lot of experience now & your current speech will be relevant to the people who are here in this situation.

That's one of the reasons I stayed in high school for an extra year, I did not feel ready. I mean I also was not ready in the sense that I needed to upgrade courses but other than that I also did not feel ready on a psychological level. As an adhder my brain develops more slowly so at 18 I had the executive functions of like a 12 year old. That last year was great. I was legally an adult, I had mstured since g10, I knew the people & teachers, I was willing to accept help but I had also grown more independent, & I had gained the respect of people/staff. I was not some baby googoo gagaa, they were not robot overlords, we were people. Equals as people, though they had authority over me.

Oof fidgeting with the ring hhh

The lighting again.

They don't know what happened last night to get castle off the team & they are thinking "he would NEVER abandon beckett like that" so they know smth bad happened.

Cole Maddox.

But they looked him up so don't They know they're coming for him now?

I like how ryan is watching beckett this entire time through here, he is not looking at the driver's license he is watching beckett

Also since the tiger don't they need to tell ppl where they are going?

(also ryan's sweater is great)

Becks used to be the goody two shoes & now ryan is arguing her to go the pro way

The ether?

Wow it has been 13 years!?

First names

IDK IF YOU DO GOT THIS

"or the entire graduation" I mean like it is fine lmao

WHO from the 12th?

RYANNNN

beckett SAID he was off the team but ryan didn't believe her, he knew castle would help, like that time beckett got montgomery to kick him out & then monty still got castle back to pick her up & take her away from the hangar.

But now ryan probably thinks castle truly is NOT on the team anymore

Y'all at least wearing vests?

"get out of the way" lmao

Girl grab it & go OR un-ass the place

Oof those sexy Xs on the place

I thought they said this place was clear

Wow that was way too easy. he just Took Down both of them.

So he comes in from the front door I think. Maybe the door to the kitchen actually bc becks falls in the living room it looks like. He grabs her & smacks her against the wall, then she falls the other direction & drops her gun, which slides over to where the doorman is lying too; then esposito comes up trying to attack the guy near the door again, arms out probably trying to take a gun or maybe maddox is the one who had the gun, Madx twisted espt to the side, then looks like he maybe kneed him in the gut & threw him down to the floor too. esposito is left reeling, doesn't look unconscious.

My little bro: Savais! ("know" in french) Javier!

back to the fight scene: becks then pushes herself on the floor to grab her gun. Madx is already running away. She gets up & runs after him, then he is already running up the stairs when she shoots at him.

You can tell they had multiple sets to film this here bc suddenly they are on a roof. Lighting is fun. I'd like to hear this episode commentary by the lighting one. (Sorry, I don't watch the credits most of the time.) Well, it is also plot heavy so I'd like to hear the writer & director but shush, I want Every episode with commentary, & I want some of my fave episodes commented on by several groups. I want to hear the actors, I want to hear the writer producer & director, I want to hear the DP & lighting one & the set designer & costume designer...

Also her gun. When did she cock it & turn the safety off? I would not feel confident running like that with a loaded cocked gun like that.

She could stop for a second & shoot him... I'm sure she could make the shot.

Oh wait she does.

Look up. He probably climbed it & is going to jump you from the top.

& he probably does climb it bc he managed to get behind u.

Why does he pick her up like that? If I were him I'd use my Cool Military Training to karate chop her shoulder & knock her out.

Ooh now that was a great scene, he flips her over his shoulder & she rolls & we see it from a bird's-eye angle of destiny long shot thing? So good.

There we go he finally kicks the gun away from her, but why kick with your foot? Kicks are not useful so high, they should always be low. Chi geuk or whatever.

She is really wailing on him & he is just Fine.

Kick him in the balls hun.

lol I slowed down the video & that kick was... well. Again, don't kick the face, kick the nuts. I cannot tell if he dodges it or if he gets kicked & doesn't flinch.

Also what happened there? She goes to attack him but the camera pans down & his hand is just kind of Out & she falls?

Solar plexus? Winded her?

XD the way he just picks her up

For a sec I thought they were going to kiss

Grab her gun & shoot her? Bro come on.

The people on the street was a good choice in filming this.

(why is he just waiting there?)

(I said that out loud & lil bro said "because he's Powafull!!")

btw where is eposito? Was he knocked out there? He didn't seem unconscious. If Becks got up & came out here, surely espt (even if he was unconscious for a few seconds) could be coming up to help... UNLESS MADDOX HAS ACCOMPLICES THAT ARE KIDNAPPING OR KILLING ESPOSITO RIGHT NOW AS WE SPEAK

KB: Just tell me who’s behind this.

As if there is One person, which doubtless there is not

CM: You’re wasting your time, Detective. You have no idea what you’re up against.

KB, hot af: Neither do you.

*tries a sort of double takedown which really just fails*

& now is the start of the episode. Why doesn't he kill her tho? Long live the king mufasa style?

Oh I see. She DOES catch herself for a moment on the big ledge, making her slow enough in falling to catch herself a second time.

Like you can see she readjusts her hand! She should start side-bar-ing to the balcony to her right.

Your fingers are surprisingly strong. She is doing all this flailing & readjusting & gripping that she should totally inch her way to the right

Ooh the music

Ooh a pushzoom

Maybe growing up with parents who rock climb made me too smart.

Losing one hand might make you swing which can be dangerous but girl Bring Your Hand Back Up. Hold on with TWO hands. Unless catching absolutely ruined your tendons so you can hold on as long as it is up there but as soon as your arm fell you can't pick it up again.

She is yelling for castle not esposito who is Actually There

I already went over the voices, but this time I went over them with my little bro. Whose voice did they use when? Was it Dever trying to sound like castle?

The wedding ring!

Also y'all, if someone is falling, you do NOT have the weight to keep them up. You need to anchor yourself.

See the only reason ryan did not also fall was bc ppl were holding HIM.

Again good music

(also upon slowing it down you can see the uh.. consistency in grabbing someone falling. Have you ever done that bar trick where you get someone to catch a bill? They cannot do it. In fact, we did a similar thing in biology class. They cut & zoom in a little bit. They make ryan's sleeve into beckett's sleeve somehow.)

Castle is not here babe. It sounded like castle bc you were on the brink of death.

& gates there. She looks mad, not concerned that becks almost fell off a building

At least someone else's hand comes in there too to help her up.

& NOW beckett reaches up her other hand.

See? they have ryan & the other one down low holding up beckett & then there are also (at least) two others who are holding THEM up.

The thing is, ryan would probably be too low to pull her up, he was just holding her up. The other one helped by taking off some of the weight & pulling so that ryan could reposition himself & use his weight to pull her up.

You can see tho that she stops *there* once her elbows are on the ledge. It is hard to lift someone up. They would need to lift her up enough that she can do a pullup & get her elbows on the ledge. Then they probably grip her shoulders/upper arms to help her up while she pushes up with her arms & gets friction with her feet. Then she would roll onto the ground. & THEN she would stand up & they would be face-to-face. I would honestly like to try out smth like this (in a safe environment) to see how it works for myself rather than my logic limited experience. I want more exp.

Ryannnnnn!

(again with the lighting)

I mean yeah communication is important babes. I'm surprised she doesn't fire them.

Also esposito looks so saddddd.

VG: Don’t you “sir” me!

XD idk why I find that so funny

they don't even wear uniforms tho lol.

Girl don't resign. Don't do this you're emotional.

btw esposito in the t-shirt is great.

She looked at the badge so fondly there before resigning.

Ooooof alexis' speech over this ending? immaculate.

Wow I really feel that.

oof she looks back at the chair castle sits in hhhh

(btw they took esposito's gun but not the extra magazines he has on his belt.)

*Esposito walks angrily past Ryan and grabs his coat.*

KR, sitting on his desk after watching beckett leave & now watching esposito get going too: Javi… I had to.

*Esposito leaves without looking at Ryan.*

(& then beckett takes the elevator but not esposito??)

*Ryan throws a book across the bullpen.*

(which like...??? we often see emotion here but he yote a book. What did it hit? Where did it go?)

Ugh the rain & Her SwingsSet! I looove the swingset location in this show. I read a fic after this scene recently & it was p good. ( https://archiveofourown.org/works/3122723 )

What song is this btw?

Self is a construct. You are a person made of all the people you surround yourself with. When mum & I make the exact same noise of sympathy at the exact same time, you know she raised me. When I adopt a new word into my vocabulary from a character on a show. When I make my tea the way a past friend taught me. When my brother gets a new fidget or display of physicality...

She ends it with always instead of putting the always first shfaskjdfhsdjkfhsjhf this episode aaaaaaahhh

"in our hearts that will be with us,, always."

See? Adults are meant to play too. xbox is not just for preteen to teenaged boys.

Eeeee he puts the tassle On His Lamp!!

Don't delete it don't delete it don't delete it at least send it to her before deleting it or smth hsdjhskjdh

(at least he still has the recycling bin lol)

Knocking on the door, it has been like one minute since she called. She was probably calling to say "tell your doorman to let me in"

(fun fact, according to that set design bonus feature in new york, caskett live a 5-10min walk from one another.)

YOU

FINALLY THEY ARE KISSING WHY DID IT TAKE FOUR WHOLE SEASONS.

Sorry for what?

YOU DIDN'T CARE?

yes YES this is GREAT

& the MUSIC

& the lightning+thunder & the closing the door

& HER SCAR (but no surgery stars from when they cut her open to fix her heart lol)

Oohhhhhh it is not the end!!

Wow man looks way younger

NOOO MADDOX IS HERE IN SMITH'S PLACE AAAAH ON NO

Why is there an obsession over kate beckett? She is surely not the only enemy of Them.

& that's the end of the season!

Ok I started at 10, it is quarter to noon, it took me two hours to watch like 15 minutes of show. Holy moly.

I need to get all the clips & bonus features I want & then I'm good to send this back to the library.

[trashlie]

Hi! Don't worry I know it's hard working full time... I'm in the same boat as you 🥲

It was a super intense chapter and I still can't believe it's real. I'm still shocked and I don't even know what will happen next?? Will the witch appear? Will Shin ae and the others find out about what happened that same night?? I can't wait!

I think, SO MUCH, about how much more I'd be able to do if I only worked 32 hours a week, if we could just survive without having to spend this much time working, aaahhhhh ;______; I've been trying to balance my life, get some exercise going, cook more, study Korean a little more intensely, and it turns out there is NOT enough time in a week for all of this, but I'm trying lmao. I wish I could just transfer my thoughts into posts (I once debated if I thought I could do a podcast just dedicated to talking about the episodes and my 800 million thoughts but idk if I could actually bring myself to do it LMAOOOOO)

Anyway YESSSSS god it was SO intense and I feel like I'm still reeling from it? It feels like so much happened in that episode, because of how much it gave us. I can't get over how emotional it was?

I'm gonna place a little read more here, so I can get into some of my spoiler-y thoughts!

I am, frankly, horrified by the idea of Yui appearing and I hope she doesn't, but also I feel like if Rand took off to bring clothes to Kousuke, she might not be far behind, right? Something I forgot to mention in the big thought dump post I just posted is Kousuke's reaction to reading that letter from Nessa in the Bible - and how dark his expression looked. It's rough enough that he's facing one of his fears - disappointing Rand, again lol - and Rand's out here calling "my son" to Nol and pulling out all the paternal care that he's never shown Kousuke before, but god that letter from Nessa is full of so much warmth and love. Reading that will absolutely bring awareness to him that Nol wasn't so much a mistake, that Nessa wasn't the result of skirt-chasing as much as someone Rand loved, and cared about, and showed that love to, something Kousuke has never seen from Rand towards himself or even Yui. I think he's spent his whole life thinking that Nessa destroyed the sense of family, but for him to find out that Rand had kept that this whole time, that it had, at some point, been passed to Nol? How does he recover from that? How does he deal with the realization that it was true: that Rand was far too busy for his own family, but still found time to start another family, with someone he truly loved.

How do you deal with that?!

Genuinely, honestly cannot even predict if Shinae and everyone will find out about this. Maybe Kousuke will storm back to the house to get Hansuke, Yujing, and Meg and get the fuck out of there? Maybe someone will come outside to check on them? Maybe they'll go back to the party to get a phone? Or, well, Rand probably has his on him and there's the car, anyway, so maybe he'll take Nol and rush off to a hospital, but I can imagine Kousuke getting left behind, or not wanting to go because, well? Would you? lmao that would be the most awkward car ride and chances are Rand is furious and anguished.

It would be really interesting to see how everyone else will react, though. Shinae is so good at trying to remain neutral and see things from both sides, and considering she was there to witness Nol egging Kousuke into punching him, she knows HOW things went down, but would her opinion change if she knew that Nol was more injured than he let on? Or would she focus more on herself and blame herself for letting him leave and not insisting he stay and get looked over? I know this could be a pivotal event that changes her thoughts on Kousuke, but again, because she was actually there and bore witness to how it played out, does that give her more room to see him in a different light than Rand might?

More than any of that, I think they'd probably all feel a lot of horror - and maybe, again, guilt for not insisting he stay, but also, isn't that complicated? Because they already know who Nol is, what he's like, it's not the first time he peaced out on them like this, so how much could they have actually changed his mind?

One thing is for sure, that was NOT a good first impression on Minhyuk lmaooooooooo

I do think a part of me wants to with or hope that somehow Nol's friends could go see him in the hospital - because he's clearly going to have to be treated before he serves his time, he's going to have to heal before that - and maybe let it be a last demonstration at "you don't have to do this alone you have friends and we care about you even if you're stupid and reckless and too selfless for your own good" so that he can get sent off with that warmth but idk if that's just TOO hopeful for what we're playing at.

I think we are right on the cusp of the first timeskip, though. I don't know if I think it will be this episode - I think there's a lot of loose ends that need to tie up, first, right? - or within a few episodes, but I feel like this has really set the stage for the bigger timeskip when we get there. I think the part that remains the biggest mystery to me right now is: how is all of this going to affect Kousuke? Will he retreat further into his fabricated reality, or will this be one of the first threads snipped to free him?

SO excited to see tonight's episode, aaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!!!

[dreamofstarlight]

i dont understand how you can support both meghan and kate. i know that the only bad thing meghan said about her is that she made her cry and then apologized, kate for obvious reasons has not said anything but i think its quite obvious that they probably not like each other and the only reason they are ever going to speak to each other again is if their husbands ask or they have to.

i dont know what went behind the scenes but it feels impossible that meghan went through all that and kate didn't know. also, in the doc (which im looking forward to) and the interview with oprah, they basically said that someone was planting negative stories about them. wouldn't that mean kate at some extend as well?

for kate, i think she probably doesnt like that meghan is saying airing her live which at some point included her as i have always seen as a very private person.and i want to believe she perhaps didn't know how to proceed in many ways with meghan and perhaps felt some shock by how different meghan is from her.

i just want say i think they are both exceptional women in their own way and that i am inspired by the work they do and the resilence they have had. i also want to say that i know the press makes so many rumors about women just because they can and they know pitting women against each other sells and that i dont believe the rumors of kate being mean to meghan nor meghan being mean to kate. everything that has ever been said about them from their earlier years have been good things. and that i do not fault them for the actions or words of their husbands. nor do i fault them either for not having been the bestest of friends as they are ultimately two insanely different women.

i'm just very curious about your why.

This is kind of a complicated answer because it's layered and I don't have one reason. Often I do feel a little conflicted because they are two very different women. In recent times that has felt even more present. I'm not sure if I like or support Kate in the way I did before, defending her in some cases feels wrong.

Kate was the first royal I ever took any interest in, she was not only the first royal wedding I ever watched and my grandmother being British was very excited but she was Kate and I was Kate so that added to my interest. Some of my support or being a fan of her was based on that, I'd always felt a pull to her and the nostalgia of waking up and watching her get out of the car at Westmister Abbey. Now that I'm older, I'm able to take off the rose colored glasses a bit more and realize that although I believe she is not the main perpetrator of the hate and vitriol in the family towards Meghan she has definitely not been supportive, that grey area is seen as being complicit. I can't defend that.

Ever since watching Meghan and Harry's engagement interview, I knew I liked her. I wanted to protect her in a way, I never really got the hate towards her. She's just always felt like someone you want to be friends with, you know she'll have your back and because of who she is as a person you would do the same for her in a heartbeat. Watching the documentary (I still have one more EP to watch) I realized even more why I like her so much, she's so strong but vulnerable and my sense of wanting to defend her has grown so much. When H&M made their decision to leave their positions as working royals I remember thinking how much of a loss it was for the BRF because she could have been a huge asset for them, reached so many people, connected to so many groups.

I don't know if this really answers your question but I've done a lot of thinking and reflecting and I don't think I support/like Kate in the way I did before, I don't hate her but my feelings have changed over time.

[gnattyplayssims]

1961 Pt1 - The Black Lantern

Thomas was usually the first to wake up and he was never happy about it. It was the only time he made a ruckus because he thought the pain in his tummy meant he was dying and maybe this time mommy wouldn't give him the antedote. Once she did all was right again.

Well it was right for Thomas anyway, for Sofia it was a different story. What went in had to come out and that morning it was coming out both directions. Sofia took a deep breath, being a mom was far from glamorous and Thomas liked to remind her of that far more often then Ava had.

Sofia hurried to give her son a bath, knowing she was running out of time to get Ava breakfast and get her to the bus stop. Thomas splashed in the water happily.

"Oh it's just too hard to rush you. You're just too cute."

He laughed as she sprinkled water over his head.

While Ava was bathing Thomas, Nikolas let himself in and grabbed breakfast for Ava.

"Mommy, Mr. Nik said to tell you, you stink and need a shower."

Nik swallowed hard and didn't look at Sofia.

"Did he?"

"Yup and you should listen. He might put you in jail if you don't."

"Feel better?"

"Yeah. Thanks. I didn't realize how bad I'd gotten."

Nik reached out for the baby and Thomas didn't fuss as he exchanged hands. Sofia was shocked that he took to Nik. "Wait, he's letting you hold him?"

"I guess he likes me"

"He doesn't even like when I hold him"

It took nearly a year but Nik and Kye were finally able to convince Sofia to move back to Copperdale. She didn't want to move back in with her parents so Nik helped her find a studio apartment in Prescott Square that was already furnished and at a price she could manage

"I know it's small Sofia, but I think you'll like it here. Oasis Springs was full of ghosts, here you can have a fresh start, build new memories with the kids, get your life back."

He took the box from Sofia and set it on the stack but she didn't seem to be paying attention.

"I promise this is for the best Sofia. I know it doesn't feel like it now but...you need to move on."

"How? How does anyone move on from something like this?"

"You just keep taking it slow...and take baby steps when you can"

"I don't want to take baby steps, I want Jamal back"

"Jamal doesn't exist Sofia."

"Don't say that. Please don't say that. He was real to me. He was everything to me."

"I know, but none of it was real. I know you don't want to hear that or think about it but it doesn't change the fact that Jameson Reed lied to you."

Sofia held her head, fighting back tears and a migrane. "It's too much for me to process still. I have a son with him...but I'm not even allowed to see him."

"I told you he was taken to a high security facility. It's above even my paygrade."

"Then what's even the point of you!"

Hurt filled Nikolas' eyes

"No, Nik! That's not what I meant."

"It's fine Sofia. I get it. You loved him...you still do. I just think if you don't start calling him by his real name...you'll never be able to accept what he was or what he did to you."

"I think you should leave."

Once Nik was gone, Sofia grabbed a box from the stack and carried it to her bed. The apartment was still filled with little knicknacks from the previous owner. She'd fill the walls with pictures of her own. Make it feel like home...home...if any place could feel like that again.

She put the box on the floor and pulled out a photo album, her fingers tracing over Jamal's smiling face as she flipped through pictures of their life together. How could someone smile like that, say those words, kiss her so passionately...and not mean any of it?

A letter fell from the pages and she choked. The only letter he had ever sent her while she was in Copperdale before they'd been married. Nik had said Jamal...Jameson had bugged her. He'd probably known she was having doubts. Written what she needed to hear to keep her heart.

Her eyes scanned the words again and again and again until sleep took her and it slid from her fingers. She had believed he was different but he was just like Don...just like Mathias...just like every man who saw her and desired her and took what he wanted.

They were all the same.

Living above a bar with a mom who only had enough energy for her baby brother meant Ava's supervision was low. The landlord didn't seem to care she was there as long as she stayed out of trouble and she liked listening to the music a lot more than her mother crying.

"Wanna see my wiggly tooth?"

The drunk man grinned, "Sure!"

Ava gave the tooth a hard wiggle and gasped when something popped. "Ow!!" She glared at the offending tooth. "It came out! Now what do I do!?"

"Maybe you can fix it."

"Yeah. I should do that before mom gets mad!"

While Sofia slipped deeper into depression, Ava was doing her best to entertain herself and make friends. It wasn't easy for her to do. Everyone was so much better than her and she changed friends like some people changed their socks until one day she found a friend who stuck.

"Don't follow me! I can't take you home. I don't think the landlord will like it and our apartment is already small."

But the kitten had already found it's new conquest and it intended to win.

"I suppose you're small. Mom might not notice if you sleep on the roof and stay quiet."

So Ava brought her new friend home with her. She named him Catastrophe since it looked like he'd already been through a lot.

"You're just like me...except mommy says my scars are on the inside. Can you keep a secret? I have some big ones."

Soon Catastrophe knew of all Ava's scars

1961 Pt2 - Fear in her Eyes

[lianahayze]

Shadow and the Midnight Misery: Chapter 7

No excuses for the delay. Here's chapter 7, and you can check out chapter 6 here. Enjoy!

Chapter 7: Studio Time

The guitar in my lap feels heavier than usual. I lean over it to read the words in front of me, the pick wedged between my lips. I hum to myself, coming up with a pattern before I test it out.

I haven't been in the studio that long. I need the time, though, which is why I'm by myself. Eventually, I'll have to meet up with the guys, but, right now, I still don't want anything to do with them.

I'm still shocked that they had the nerve to all show up at Garver. I understand that one of them had to sign my release papers, but all of them? Did they expected me to be excited to see them, like they weren’t the ones who’d thrown me in there in the first place? If that’s what they’d thought, they’d been delusional.

They'd tried to get a hold of me. I'd ignored them, of course. I'm not even ready to text them. I want them to sweat it out a bit, to realize what a stupid mistake they’d made. They need more than I need them, and they need to learn that.

Sighing, I place my guitar to the side. Realistically, I need to finish these lyrics before I even think about putting them to music. Under normal circumstances, I'd get input from the guys, but, since that isn't an option right now, I'm on my own. I skim the lyrics, trying to figure out what I'm missing.

Word-wise, the chorus is good. Even the intro is fine. There's just something about the end that I don't like, and I don't know why.

I stare down at the guitar. I need to have something put together in a few days. Not just because I want to have something to rub in their faces, but also because of the interview.

It was supposed to be last week while I’d been at Garver. Being locked up, I hadn’t been able to call and reschedule it, but luckily someone at the label had. I don’t know what lie had been told—I highly doubt, “Hi, Shadow is currently in a three-day detox” had been used—but I’m glad it had gotten done. I love interviewing with the band, but I always take full advantage of the solo ones, especially if they involve new music.

This interviewer probably isn't expecting anything full-length, but she'll probably want a couple of soundbites for Instagram or whatever. I'd look like an idiot if I don't have anything, especially because The Midnight Misery has been "ever so diligently working on new music."

At least, that's what we've been telling everyone.

I groan. With my lower back hurting, I decide to take a break. I stand up, stretch, then look around. When I find my bag, I reach for it and head for the door. It's only when I'm outside that I pull out a joint.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. I'm not supposed to be smoking. But I'm also not supposed to be drinking or doing coke. That's a lot of stuff to try to quit all at once. I figure the weed is the least harmful, so it's the one I'll stick with for now. I'm not partying so I'm not tempted on the other two, but it's been a bit challenging.

Even since I went AWOL on Dean, he's wanted to hang out. I haven’t told him what happened; instead, I’d made up some dumb excuse about losing my charger. Coming up with new excuses as to why I can’t hang out is getting harder and harder to do.

I take a long deep breath. I let the smoke expand in my lungs, the buzz going straight to my brain. To hell with Dr. Norris' ten-minute rule. One drag of a joint makes me feel better than thinking for ten minutes ever will.

Once I finish up, I go back into the studio. My head feels more clear and relaxed, but, as I sit down to write, I realize that it’s just not going to happen. I reach for the guitar and strum a few chords. I hum along as the strings vibrate, feeling it in my soul. I'm by no means an expert on guitar, but I can at least get by.

I lean my head back and close my eyes. I wonder why the guys are up to. They like to hang out even when it doesn’t involve band stuff, and I wouldn't be surprised if they were together right now. Probably trash-talking me. Probably still thinking about how to get rid of me.

I can’t believe the label had actually okay’ed everything. It’s so crazy that it makes me wonder if they even actually went to the label. For all I know, they could be lying. Sure, The Midnight Misery may not be the label’s biggest band, but we get a lot of publicity—a lot of publicity because of me. If you combined that with all the other bands that have joined the label because of me, it’d be stupid to get rid of me.

Why don’t any of them realize that?

I'm so focused on my own thoughts that I don't even notice the door open. I continue to strum. The longer I think about it, the more violent my strumming becomes. It's only when I hear someone say my name that I finally snap out of it.

I stare at my dad as he closes the door behind him. It's the first time we've seen each other since almost a week ago, and to be honest, I’m not complaining. I don’t have anything to say to him. Ever since I was released from Garver, I haven’t heard from him. No call. No text. If he doesn’t want to speak to me then I don’t want to speak to him.

I tightly grasp the neck of the guitar. As my eyes trail down to the floor, I spot my notebook, opened on the couch. I reach forward and close it. For several moments, we’re both silent, each more stubborn than the other.

Eventually, I become tired of the awkward silence and ask,

"Do you need the studio?"

He looks at me sadly, and, for the first time I realize: he hasn't said anything because he hasn't wanted to. He hasn't said anything because he doesn't know how to. I almost feel bad for him, but then I remember that he had been complicit.

The band had probably planned everything, but it wasn’t like he hadn’t known about it. They definitely told him about it. How else would he have known to show up the same time as Dr. Dorian? And in my eyes, that makes him just as guilty.

"I uh." He clears his throat. "No. I mean, I have some editing to do, but you're fine." He pauses. "Lucille told me you were here."

I roll my eyes. The cleaning lady. Of course. I'd tried to pass through the house quietly, but evidently, I hadn't been quiet enough.

"I should go." Without looking at him, I kick open my guitar case and place the guitar inside. As I'm locking it up, he says,

"Don't have to rush out on my account. Stay as long as you want to."

But that's the problem: I don’t want to stay. Yes, I want to work on my music, but I want to work on my music alone. If he stays, I won’t be able to concentrate.

"Next time I'll check to see if you'll need the studio."

"Shadow, take all the time you need. The episode is all recorded, so it's really just a matter of chopping out some stuff."

He's referring to his podcast. I've only listened to a few episodes because most of them are too, um, raunchy for me, but whenever he talks about it, I can’t help but be proud. I know that he's happy that he’s managed to stay relevant beyond his music career, I think, but right now, I just don't care.

I lift up the guitar case. "See ya around." I start to walk past him, but he puts out his arm to stop me. Sighing, I say, “What?"

"How was Garver?"

I roll my eyes. Oh, now he cares? "Fine. I got everything I needed and more."

He nods once. He looks like he’s choosing his words carefully, but I don’t have time for this. "You know, there's nothing wrong with getting help. You wouldn’t be the first in the family who..." He rubs the back of his neck. "Well, you just wouldn’t be the first."

I know that. I’ve read enough Wiki pages and listened to enough interviews to know I'm not the only one. Back in the mid-90s he'd gone to rehab, too. The only difference is that his stint was a couple of months, not just a few days. His had also been for drugs but not the same ones I'm on. He'd been into the heavy stuff; all of The Nixers had. To this day, he still doesn’t really like to talk about it.

"So, you don't have to feel bad. That's what I'm trying to say."

“I don't feel bad.” I really don’t. If anything, I’m pissed. If I felt bad, it would mean I felt guilty, and I have nothing to feel guilty about.

"I think they were just worried about you. Wyatt mentioned that you missed a couple of rehearsals?"

"No. I was late to a couple of rehearsals."

"Maybe you don't remember the ones you missed."

My eyebrows shoot up. "So you're going to trust someone you've only known for a couple of years over your own daughter?"

He sighs. "That's not what this is about, and you know it. I trust you. But Wyatt has a good head on his shoulders; he's the type of person you want to be in a band with."

He's going on and on and on and all I'm getting is disgusted. "Yeah, yeah, yeah," I say, "he's talented and reliable and all of that. But he, just like you, went behind my back and had me locked up." I pause. "Imagine how that makes me feel."

A silence falls between us. Neither looks at the other, and I start to become restless. I can’t get enough air to my lungs, and I take several deep breaths to stop my sudden dizziness.

"I understand what you're going through."

No, he doesn't. He doesn't understand jack shit. Just because he did his own stint in rehab, he thinks he knows what the last few days have been like for me. And maybe he does know about the last few days. But the last few years--the whole reason I am the way I am--he has no idea what that’s like at all.

I look around the studio. Though I don't say it, I realize something: I can't come back here. I can't use this studio anymore. As nice as it is to be able to drop into whenever I want, if I come back here, I'm never going to get anything done.

I sniffle just thinking about it. This won't be the first time that a studio has been tainted for me, but this is just... It's different.

I glance over to the couch. I think about sitting between Wyatt and Dave. I picture Dr. Dorian sitting across from me. All of those words that had stung then cut deeper now. The wounds are raw and new, and I realize something:

This place is absolutely ruined for me.

I clear my throat. "I need to go." He opens his mouth to say something, but I shake my head, saying, "No, I can't be here right now." Head bowed, I walked to the door. "Or ever."

I need to find a new studio, one that's completely different than this one. One with space and light and that won't make me feel suffocated as I go inside.

He doesn't stop me as I walk out this time. With my head high, I begin planning. I want a new studio and the guys want a new producer. I think, no, I know, that I can make both of them happen.

[oldqueergrandma]

Grandma wants to talk about a dead name.

This is where all my darling grandchildren and fairy godchildren get to discover my given first name. I'm not sure I can tell the story without it.

Among the many things I was assigned at birth, were that I was female and given the name "Patricia".

And my family immediately shortened it to Tricia after my aunt, who was a mere 11 years older than I.

I went to school and my kindergarten teacher was... Not Good(tm). Particular to this story is that she tended to give kids nicknames arbitrarily, and decided that she would call me "Pat."

As an an undiagnosed nerudivergent child with "failure to assign dominance" ambidexterity, learning to write was a grueling task. I could already read, but my fine motor skills were just plain terrible.

So, upon realizing that the name "Pat" had only 3 letters to laboriously scratch into every single paper I touched at school, I went along with the change of my name. (I probably also did not want to attract the attention of this shitty teacher.)

And my folks went along with it.

Fast forward past my therapy, my mother yoinking me out of that shitty Catholic school with much fuss and bother, and get to High School. I wanted to switch my name back to Tricia. I'd already made some attempts, but no one was down with it. I figured that since it was a new school I might be able to pull it off.

Nope.

Not after people changing it to "Fat" to my face. Not even after SNL started the "It's Pat!" Sketches. (I graduated in 1992.) Not after my name had been mocked by bullies in every school I ever attended.

I could not get anyone to call me Tricia. Not the people who loved me, not my friends, not my teachers. I was ridiculed for it. My best friend had a different name that has many permutations as well, and she seemed to change it every year; and I always worked hard to call her what she wanted to be called.

But I was stuck being Pat.

I got my first "real" job my senior year. I filled out my paperwork as "Tricia," my name badge said "Tricia."

This was the first leverage I had to actually get this to work.

My father was a dick about it. "But your name is Pat."

"You named me Patricia, I want to be Tricia again."

For many, many years, he reverted to simply calling me, "Patricia." I called him "Father."

My grandmother passed away in 2022. She never stopped calling me Pat.

I dated someone after I graduated, that I had known in high school. It took him a few weeks to stop calling me "Pat".

And these aren't the only names I've used, or discarded, or had assigned to me. I have had childhood nicknames, and online personae, and blog names, and characters I've embodied; and some people only know me by those names.

Being called "Pat" is jarring. I probably will still hear it from time to time until I die. People who have met me after that point are genuinely shocked when I reveal my dead name.

And none of this struggle has anything to do with gender identity or presentation.

I do consider myself gender fluid. If I'm being really deliberate about presenting a gender other than female, I'll typically use a different name. But for that matter, when I'm the queen of the faeries, I'm Mab, so I'm accustomed to having a variety of names that I can put on like various colorful hats.

But I know, first hand, what it feels like to try to choose your identity, and get zero support. I know how jarring it is to hear a dead name. I know the bitter flavor of being identified as something that I have gone to great lengths to change.

My loves, my darlings, my weird and wonderful children; I see you. I believe in you. And I will call you by the name you have chosen, whether someone else gave you that name or not.

[yourmidnightlover]

never go back

Summary: spencer notices how your boyfriend takes advantage of you and finally does something about it.

TW: titty sucking, oral (female receiving), cheating, dom!spencer, scratching, slapping (only one), cursing, choking, spencer dirty talk lol, penetrative sex, creampie. *let me know if i missed anything*

WC: 3,724

A/N - i'm using noah as the 'other man' schtick in probably all of my future one shots bc i can't find it within myself to create a new character each and every time. so your douche of a bf will always be noah miller. if you ever get a nice bf i'll be sure to change his name but for now this is what we're working with. got it? got it.

masterlist

-------------------------------

there are many things that people should go back to. schooling, maybe an old job, an old vacation spot.

your boyfriend was not one of those things.

mostly because your boyfriend sucked.

it was now a fact that spencer reid himself had come to believe quite a while ago and now, well now he had reason.

he had always felt as though you were too good for noah, similar for practically anyone in existence (himself included). he was always a complete ass to you no matter the circumstance.

there was one time the entire team had been back really late from a case that took a toll on all of you. it was emotionally and physically draining. the flight back had been delayed because of weather issues in the state you had been in, meaning you couldn't leave until days after it was solved.

any time you had gone to answer the phone, spencer would be able to see your stance and body language through the glass window. you had been apologizing for something you couldn't even control. you would narrow your brows the way you only did when you were being yelled at. you bit your lip the way you did when you were being made to feel guilty.

he was guilt tripping you for something you couldn't even control.

when you had gotten back it wasn't any better. noah had been giving you the cold shoulder. he was defensive when you asked what was wrong.

and that was only 3 weeks into the relationship.

after being together for 2 months, you had gotten flowers delivered on your desk. you assumed they were from your boyfriend, reasonably so, and went to go thank him. spencer saw the shock in your eyes when you saw your boyfriend huddled in the corner with some new intern. spencer saw the look in your eye change from sadness to anger in the blink of his own.

you took a deep breath, and walked away from the situation, completely missing the way he tucked the intern's hair behind her ear as he leaned in to whisper something to make her giggle. when you got back to your desk you threw the flowers in the garbage can, not even bothering to read the note.

it was pretty indirect, but looking into it he realized it was an issue that should've been addressed. every time the team would go out together, everyone was clearly invited. you would always decline because 'noah wanted to take me out tonight' or 'noah said he needs me, so i'll have to rain check'.

it wasn't because you were a bad person, the opposite actually. it was because noah was taking advantage of your kindness.

because any time you needed him, 'noah's out with the boys' or 'noah had to work late' or, here's a kicker, 'noah had a hard time at work'. as if you don't have a hard time looking at dead bodies while he just has to write up reports.

even when you got injured during a case, shot in the shoulder, noah seemed as though he couldn't have cared less. he wouldn't even go to your apartment to visit you while you were in recovery because 'noah didn't have time to visit'.

spencer could even recall when you went out with the girls one night, spencer being the designated driver, that you had told them how 'noah didn't want you to dress too provocatively so you had to wear something more modest'.

now, spencer doesn't care all to much about what you wear because, frankly, it's none of his business. but now that he heard how noah cared oh-so-much, he decided to wrack his brain for the 'provocative' outfits you've worn. there was not a single one that anyone should make a comment about. you looked stunning no matter what you wore, so you'd grab any man's attention no matter the clothing on your body.

but spencer? he made sure to never be that much of an asshole to you. he made sure to make up for him being an asshole.

he would grab you some morning coffee like you always had before you had a boyfriend. he would make sure to tell you that you looked lovely when you were able to go out with the team. he would visit you when you injured yourself and were lonely, he even stayed back for a few days with you to help you get through it.

hell, he was the one to get you the flowers. you had been having a rough week and spencer thought it might cheer you up. he had gifted you a bouquet of 12, blue chiffon flowers because those were your favorite.

but this was his breaking point. you had come to his apartment, once again in the middle of the night, talking about noah fucking miller cheating on you.

he had done it once before when he was 'out with the boys' you decided to stop by when he said he'd be back, wanting to just be the amazing girlfriend that you are. so when you walk in and hear your boyfriend moaning along with another woman that isn't you, you immediately run back out. you run back out and drive all the way to spencer's.  

and here you are again. spencer wasn't mad at you, it was noah he was mad at. he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

spencer had always liked you, no, he's always loved you. everything about you. how could he not? you're perfect.

but loving you how he does and seeing you being used as a toy to fuck for a certain noah miller not only made his heart ache but also made his blood boil.

spencer wasn't an idiot. he had heard the way the old morgan had referred to women. the thing is, noah is way more of a fuckboy than the old morgan ever was. and that scared spencer to pieces. he knew that you would only be missing out on team outings just to get fucked by a douchebag. he knew that the only reason said douchebag wouldn't visit you was because you couldn't fuck. he knew that the reason said douchebag was cornering that intern was to fuck her, too.

so when you arrived at spencer's place, this time you weren't crying. you were furious. you were angry and upset, as was spencer.

"he did it again, spence," you breathed out as you paced across his living room floor. "i was supposed to meet him in a few hours but i was going to surprise him and i caught him with another tramp! i didn't even confront him. i just- i just left!"

"cheated? noah?" he asked as if he didn't believe it at first, not wanting to seem like as much of a dick as noah.

"yes! cheated. god! i am so ANGRY!" you ran your hand through your hair, a grunt leaving your mouth. "and... and frustrated! and... UGH!" you sighed aggressively.

"and what?" spencer asked as he stood up, slowly making his way to you. "what else?" he said, his hand now brushing that stubborn strand of hair behind your ear.

"i-i'm..." you trailed off, getting lost in his beautiful eyes.

if you were honest with yourself, you'd admit how much you loved spencer. but you thought he'd never love you like that. not since you helped him through jj getting married. he really thought she was it for him, at least that's what you'd come to think he believed. over the years you had grown so much closer and grown such an attraction for each other that the other person knew about. it was ironic, truly.

"say it, y/n," spencer leaned over you, his lips ghosting over yours. "i need to hear you say it."

"god, just kiss me," you said, your hands flying to the back of his hair to push his mouth to yours.

there was no hesitation from spencer to give you everything he had. his hand on the side of your face remained there as his other hand drifted to your waist to pull you closer to his body. your tongues met fervently with covetous, passion, and longing yet with just gentle firmness that felt protecting and as if it was how everything was supposed to be.

"please, spencer," you quietly whispered once you unlatched from one another.

"please what, princess," he asked, his hand running through your hair.

"i just... i need you," she pleaded with him, her hands still tugging gently on his hair. "please," you put your foreheads together, breathing in each others air as you silently begged him to help you in any way that he could.

"i'd do anything for you," he whispered so delicately as if the entire team were standing right beside you. "you know i'd do anything for you."

"then do something," you demanded.

spencer took action by kissing you just as intensely as before, this time his hands went to your ass. he grabbed your thighs to signal for you to jump, once you did you wrapped your legs around his torso as he carried you into his bedroom. he set you down just in front of the bed before you began to undo his shirt, him returning the favor by undoing yours.

"god, i've wanted you for so long," he growled, nipping gently at your earlobe as he laid you back on the bed. "lift your hips," he ordered, you obeyed his every command. you always would. "good girl," he praised as he ran his hands down your now bare waist.

"please," you begged, your hips bucking up to get any source of friction. "spencer..." you trailed off.

"i know, princess. i know," he said before climbing on top of you, connecting your lips with his once again, this time much more eager than before if that were possible.

as you arched your back, he took the opportunity to unclasp the hook on your bra. you shrugged it off your shoulders to allow him to throw the bra somewhere else in his room. he finally took a breath, removing his lips from yours to admire the view in front of him.

"god, you're so beautiful," he growled before placing gentle but eager kisses along the tops of your breasts, massaging the one his mouth wasn't on.

he pressed his knee between your legs, allowing you to buck your hips up to get that release you wanted so bad. you whined as he took your nipple in his mouth, his tongue flicking past it rapidly as he occasionally nibbled on it gently.

"spen-spencer," you ran your hands through his hair, tugging gently on the roots.

"mmm," he sat his head up, trailed kisses up your throat. "god, i love you so much."

"i-i love you," you moaned, pulling his head up to connect your lips together. "i love you so so much."

"i'm so glad to hear that," he huffed a sigh of relief. "because otherwise it'd be awkward when i did this," he began trailing kisses down your body, leading down towards your center. "i'll show you what it's like to be with a man that actually loves and respects you, yea? show you what it feels like to actually be pleased by a man? what it's like to be with a real man?" he teased.

his fingers trailed around your entrance, gathering your arousal that'd been building for what felt like ages. he pressed gentle kisses around your pussy before finally connecting his lips with your clit, a low groan emitting from your body because of the contact.

"yes, please," you shot your head back, relishing in the feeling of the direct skin contact.

"hey," spencer slapped your thigh, your head shot back up to see him between your legs, a truly beautiful sight that you'd never get tired of. "eyes on me," he demanded before going back down on you, not breaking eye contact as he brought out sounds from you that you weren't even sure you could make. "talk to me, princess. let me know how it feels."

"fe-feels so good," you sighed, taking your breasts in your hands and massaging them. "i-i can-can't even think," you stuttered out, too caught up in the pleasure to form a coherent sentence.

you had felt so good as he sucked on your clit, succeeding in bringing you closer to the edge than noah ever has, but when he inserted two fingers into your entrance...

"oh my fuck!" your hands shot down to grab onto his locks, pushing him further into your body, a low groan leaving him.

his fingers didn't stop their work. he curled them at just the right spot, sending you flying over the edge. spencer used his free hand to grab onto your thigh to keep them from closing in completely on his head, still working you through your high. he placed a kiss on your clit once more before he brought his head up to you, connecting your lips passionately.

"could noah ever make you come like that? huh? could he make you feel so good you could barely even think?" he grabbed your chin in his hands, holding it in place to look at him as you shook your head the best you could. "no?"

"mm-mm," you tried to shake your head 'no' once more.

"did you think of him while i was going down on you? were you thinking about how he fucked that little tramp?" he asked harshly, you shook your head 'no' again. "oh, what were you thinking, princess?" he finally released your face so you could speak.

"ab-about how well you know my body. about how, how good you looked between my legs. about how much i love you," you replied quickly, knowing exactly what to say.

"right answer," he connected your lips once more. "what do you want, love?" he asked, peppering soft kisses along your jaw where his hands once held your throat firmly.

"you. i-i want you in-inside me," you swallowed, your hand finding his and pulling it up to your lips to press a kiss to it, then another, then another, then another. "please, doctor?" you used your best puppy dog eyes you knew he couldn't resist.

"god, call me that again," he rasped lowly.

"what... doctor?" you took his hand and started sucking on his fingers, letting them slip in and out slowly and then moving onto the next.

"fuck, yes," he growled as he pressed another kiss to your lips before lining himself up at your center. "are you sure, princess?" he traced your jaw with the fingers you were previously sucking on.

"yes, sir," you nodded. "i'm sure."

you felt him slowly push inside of you slowly to allow you to adjust to his size. you had your suspicions of how big he was, but feeling him inside of you made it all much more real.

"fuck, you're so tight," he moaned into your ear quietly as he slowly pulled back out, going in just as slow.

"sp-spence-"

"wrong," he slapped your face gently, a whimper leaving your lips before he grasped your face to make you look him in the eyes.

"doc-doctor," you corrected yourself.

"good girl," he said, feeling your pussy clench from the praise. "oh you like that?" he felt it again. "maybe you just like hearing me talk, yea?" his pace began picking up slowly. "you like hearing how this pussy makes me feel? how tight... and warm... and wet it is?"

"u--uh huh," you nodded your head the best you could as he began thrusting much more rapid, hitting that special spot inside of you with each movement.

"it seems like you haven't felt this good in a long time huh? haven't had your pussy pounded like this in a while?" he asked as he was catching his breath.

"ne-never, doctor," you confirmed, hands reaching around his back and dragging your nails down, surely leaving scratch marks all down them.

"fuck," he growled. "noah never made you feel this good princess? never made you forget how to speak in sentences? never knew how to get you going like this?"

"n-no, no! never! god, never!" you cried as you pulled his body even closer to you. "i-i'm close, please!"

"you wanna come all over my dick, yea? you want to show me how much your pussy loves it when a real man fucks it?"

that was it to let that spring burst inside of you, parts flying everywhere. you cried his name as he worked you through your orgasm, holding onto his shoulders and hair to keep you grounded.

"cum inside me, please," you begged. "fi-fill me up."

"fuck, whatever you want, princess," he kept pounding into you at a rapid pace. "god, i'm gonna come inside you, and send you back to that scumbag of a boyfriend so he can see that you're mine now. so he can see what happens when his girlfriend is mistreated and fucked by someone who knows what they're doing, yea?"

"yea, yea!" you whined, nails digging back into his skin as he released his load into you, thrusting it gently back inside after.

"god, i love you so much," he moaned into your ear, pressing a kiss to your cheek by your ear.

"i love you," you replied, stroking his hair to help him come down, him still inside of you. he began thrusting inside of you once again.

"don't want any of it to spill out before you get to him," he felt you clench around him one more time. "you're very responsive, princess. i like that about you."

"it-it's just you, spence. it's always been you," you pulled him in for another kiss.

this one was full of passion but not the kind of eagerness. it was full of desire and longing, pent up emotions flowing out into one another fluidly.

"now let me go see my soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend," you huffed as he pulled out of you, wincing from the overstimulation. "i'll see you later?"

"i'll see you later," he pressed a kiss to your forehead before helping you gather your clothes.

driving back to his apartment, you felt rather giddy with yourself. should you have felt bad? absolutely not. he's a manipulative asshole who's used you for sex on numerous occasions, so he deserved the bittersweet irony of what was coming to him.

*get it, coming to him? lol i'm sorry i had to :)*

you knocked on the door softly, greeted by a rather chipper noah who grabbed your face as soon as he saw you, connecting your lips. his kiss was nothing like spencer's. his lips weren't as soft and tentative. they weren't plump and round, they were harsh and rough and unpleasant.

he quickly led you to the bedroom, not to your surprise. he sat down on the bed, you straddled his hips, acting as if it were spencer instead - which was pretty hard to do after knowing what he was like in the sack.

you felt his boner through his pants quickly after you got on top of him. then when he flipped you over and pulled your pants and underwear down, he was met with a surprise.

"someone's excited to see me," he chuckled before licking a thick stripe from your slit to clit, very aggressive to where it almost hurt to have the pressure. "god you taste so good, doll."

he continued at this for a while, inserting his tongue to your hole very once in a while and licking up yours and spencer's arousal with it. you faked your moans and whimpers as his ministrations became more eager, not really getting you anywhere.

after he was finished with your turn - no, he didn't even make you cum - he laid back on the bed as if he were waiting for you to get on top of him again.

"actually," you stood up from the bed, pulling up your clothes with you. "i'm done with this. we're over."

you watched his face as he took in the information just released to him. it changed from surprised and shocked, to confused, to disgusted, to angry and frustrated.

"what the fuck?" he sat up from the bed, a disgruntled look on his face. "you wait until after you cum to tell me this?" he walked over to you, arms flailing in the air.

"yea. i did. and by the way, i didn't cum," you informed him. "that's something you've never really been good at making me do. although i'm not sure how you've been able to convince me to do anything with the way you treat me."

"what do you mean? i'm a good gu-"

"shut up for one second, please," you rolled your eyes, running your hand through your hair. "i know you've cheated on me numerable times. i stayed because i thought that maybe there was a reason, but i've come to realize that i was just... settling with you," you shrugged.

"you've treated me like crap since this 'relationship' started and i'm tired of it. i know someone who not only treats me with respect and kindness, but can also actually make me cum. shocker," you chuckled.

"who is this asshole? what the hell-"

"i wasn't finished, sweetie," you spat out viciously. "he's not an asshole. you're the asshole. you're the one that's getting dumped. so this is goodbye," you turned around to walk out of his room before leaving him with one more thought. "how did his cum taste with mine?" you tilted your head innocently, smiling at his shocked face as he realized what you meant before walking out.

and you were never more glad that you didn't have to go back to him anymore.

taglist:

@muffin-cup​ @greenprisca​ @averyhotchner​ 

[raewritez]

Airbenders

let’s all take a moment to appreciate our windy boy🙌

based on this request: Can you do Aang x airbender reader? When Aang and Katara found out that she hid from them that she could bend ? Please!

warnings: aangsty

It hurts.

Aang’s body felt like it was on fire, and he supposed it was. It seemed like electricity was still flowing through his veins, consuming him with needle points and flame. With Katara’s healing he was slowly gaining back his memory - visions of white glow, of the royal siblings, of waves, and of falling. There was something else, too, it was-

“Ow!”

Katara grimaced, removing her hands from his back. “Sorry, Aang. There’s a lot of energy built up in here.”

He winced, curling in on himself. “It’s ok.”

She stares at him worriedly, heart aching for her friend. He felt so awful, so consumed by guilt and failure, and she found herself having trouble coaxing him out of his thoughts. There was one person that could, but they were nowhere to be found. Aang noticed.

“Where’s Y/n?”

Katara breathed shakily, pulling at the edge of her tunic. “Aang…what exactly do you remember from Ba Sing Se?”

He tilted his head, furrowing his brows. "I remember Azula, and I remember I went down. You saved me."

She nodded. "Is that all?"

He leaned into the bed, running a hand through his hair (hair? how long has that been there?). "There's something else."

Katara looked nervous, as if preparing for him to do something awful. It made him confused. He searched his mind, digging through flashes of memory until he found what he was looking for. He inhaled sharply. Oh. Right.

They were outnumbered, Dai Lee agents advancing on them from all directions. Katara's water whips were no use, broken and splashed across the ground by shields of rock and crystal. Aang fought tirelessly, earth and water spinning around him in a flurry of movement. The earth benders only moved forward - creeping slowly upon the Avatar until they were thrown back by some powerful force. Wind. Aang looked down at his hands, he hadn't done that, right? The agents rose to their feet but their eyes weren't on him, rather on something that lurked behind. Turning, his gaze fell upon what had drawn their attention.

You.

Your arms were outstretched, an uncertain expression on your face. You glanced down at your palms in surprise - you certainly hadn't expected that to work so well. His mouth fell open, mind swarmed with confusion. His grey eyes widened, and your gaze met his. You couldn't tell if that look in his eyes was one of betrayal or pure shock, but you felt the guilt you'd been harboring over keeping this secret hit you full-force. Your own eyes were surprised, and they softened as they fell upon him. In them he could see the swimming emotions, and an apology. You raised your arms again.

"They're...they're an Airbender."

Katara looked at the floor, silently affirming his words. He stared at her, then he stood. His body ached and his legs wobbled, but he didn't care. He grabbed his staff, and leaning on it, began to make his way towards the door.

"Wait, Aang," Katara exclaimed, attempting to calm him. The look on his face was foreign; eyes glinting with sadness and something she couldn't quite decipher. And anger. It was a rare emotion to see displayed by the boy, but it was there now, although faint. She was nervous for you, her own anger since passed and replaced with a sort of resigned understanding. Sure, she was upset, hurt that you didn't trust her with this secret, but she guessed she understood. At least she tried to.

"Aang, your injuries are still healing. You can't-"

"I'm fine, Katara," he spoke, and she felt a chill run through her bones at the sternness. "Let me go."

He pushed past her, holding in his groans at the effort. He walked as quickly as he could down the hall, mind pulsing with adrenaline and determination. He didn't have to ask where your room was, he knew where it would be: at the end of the hall by the windows, so you could see the ocean. He limped his way down, the silk robe threatening to fall off his shoulders. In front of your door, he stopped. He breathed, and then he entered.

You were seated on your bed, staring blankly at the wall. You glanced tiredly at the intrusion, eyes widening when you saw it was him. You stood abruptly, almost tripping over yourself and if the circumstances were different he would've laughed. You missed his laugh. Instead he gazed at you, expression neutral. You felt nervous, unfamiliarly awkward under the Avatar's stare.

"Hi, Aang."

He kept his eyes trained on you, eyebrows furrowed. He was silent.

"Um...h-how are you feeling?"

"You didn't come to see me."

Your eyes widened. "W-what?"

His gaze never faltered. "You didn't come to check on me."

"Oh," You breathed, casting your eyes to the floor. "I didn't...I didn't know if you'd want me to."

He didn't speak, and you could feel him scrutinizing you. As if he didn't know what to make of you, as if he wasn't sure what to think. And in all honesty he probably didn't. You didn't know what to think of yourself, either.

"You're an Airbender." It wasn't a question, just a statement. An observation.

You breathed. "Yeah."

He stood a little taller, and you could finally make out an emotion. Anger. It wasn't ideal, but it was better than him acting as if you were Koh the freaking Face-Stealer. His voice was low. "Why didn't you tell me?"

You swallowed nervously, fingers coming to play with the fishing-line bracelet he'd made for you that rested upon your wrist. "I don't know."

He scoffed, beginning to pace around the room. Well, as well as he could considering his condition. "That's not an answer. How could you keep that from me?!" There was a desperation to his tone, and his eyes were glassy. You looked away, unable to deal with the shame.

"Aang, please, I-" You didn't know what to say. You truly didn't quite understand why you'd hidden it, the secrecy just fading into habit. "I was...I was scared. I didn't know what to say or- I'd never told anyone before! And then you came and I..."

"And you didn't tell me."

His face was darkened, so different from that sunshiney demeanor that you'd grown so goddam fond of. But behind his anger was a certain brokenness - a disbelief. And that hurt more than the rage.

He didn't give you time for an explanation, and you weren't sure you had one to offer anyway. He simply walked away, sparing you one more hurtful glance. Then, he left, taking the light and hope with him. You felt tears sting your eyes, but you forced them away. You didn't deserve to cry. You were the one who'd hurt him, who'd betrayed his trust. And now you weren't sure if your best friend would ever trust you again, ever allow you a second chance. So, instead of crying, you simply laid in the dark warmness of your bed, rocked to sleep by the swaying of the ocean with an ache in your chest.

///

A week.

That's how long it'd been since the two of you talked, since Aang had so much as glanced in the direction of his best friend. You were in the Firenation now, having assumed the role of undercover criminals. It was kind of exhilarating, and you knew you and Aang would be milking the drama of it for all its worth. But instead you sat alone, sidled in the corner of the cave as your friends danced.

Aang had somehow managed to enroll himself in a Fire Nation school, and had invited his classmates to your hideout for a dance party. You wished you had enough energy to participate - to twirl around with Katara or do the limbo with Sokka, but you were drained. Just like you'd been for days. Your hope was waning; you were becoming less and less sure that Aang would find a way to forgive you - that he would return to his best friend with that lopsided smile and endless generosity, the way he came to you all those times before. Now, he was dancing, shoulders brushing against that Fire Nation girl's - On ji? Something like that - while the rest of the kids laughed and cheered. It send an ache to your heart. He seemed happy with her - happier than he's been with you. He was sporting that contagious grin, that boisterous laughter, that-

"Wow, you really are mopey."

You were snapped out of your thoughts by Toph. "I'm not mopey," you grumbled.

She snorted. "Uh, yeah you are. I can practically feel the pitifulness radiating off you."

"Gee, thanks a lot."

You were silent for a moment, and she seemed to soften. "You know, he's not mad at you anymore."

You glanced over, a scoff escaping your lips. "Yes he is, Toph. He hates me."

Her eye-roll was about the biggest you'd ever seen. "Don't be stupid, Sap. That kid loves you. It's so obvious it's gross."

You sighed, shaking your head. You pulled your knees to your chest. "Not anymore. I lied to him."

She nodded, seeming thoughtful. "Well, yeah, that kind of sucked. And obviously he would be kinda mad about that. But he's not anymore, trust me. I can feel it."

"You can feel it?"

"Mhm. He's mopey, too. He misses you."

You looked over to the center of the cave, where Aang was demonstrating some bizarre dance movement. You smiled fondly.

"Seriously, Y/n. You should talk to him."

You nodded, breathing in your resolve. "I will soon."

Toph groaned loudly. "Well, I guess that's as good as we're gonna get."

///

Spirits, you were exhausted. A day of cleaning out a river will do that to you.

It'd been a few days since the dance party, and your time had been occupied with Appa's "sickness" while you stopped at a local fishing village. It was pretty gross, but with your friend's help and Katara's fancy costume, you were able to leave it better than it was when you arrived.

Now, you found yourselves at yet another designated campsite - a patch of ground near the cliffside, overlooking the valley. You were tired, and so much as walking around felt like a chore.

Your eyes fell on a silhouetted figure perched on the edge of the cliff. Momo sat on his shoulder. You breathed, body growing alight with nervousness. You made your way over, Momo launching onto you when you got closer.

You chuckled, petting his furry head. "Hey, Momo," you said softly. You eyes flickered upwards, latching onto Aang's. He turned away. You sighed, setting Momo down and moving to sit next to him. You inhaled deeply, bracing yourself for impending rejection. You fidgeted with the edge of your shirt - a movement that his eyes quickly locked onto.

"Um, I know you probably don't want to talk to me, and that's ok, but I need to...I need to explain myself."

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see him nod slowly.

"My whole life I had to keep my bending a secret, and nobody's ever known except my parents. And when I met you...I don't know. I guess I was just scared. I thought I was going to be the last one for the rest of my life. I'd been hiding and denying that I was an Airbender for so long, and I guess I just...felt safer to keep doing that."

He was silent, staring at you intently with concentration and an emotion you couldn't decipher. You continued.

"The point is, I should've told you. And I'm so, so sorry that I didn't. I don't know if you could ever forgive me, but I-"

You were cut off by the press of his lips against your own. Your eyes widened, and you sat rigidly still. He chuckled breathily at your shock, moving his hand to gently caress your cheek. You relaxed, leaning into his palm and letting your eyes fall shut. After a moment, he pulled away.

"I'm not mad at you, Y/n."

You were still frozen with pleasant surprise. "Oh...ok."

He laughed, reaching to brush a strand of hair behind your ear. He smiled adoringly.

"But wait - how aren't you mad? I kept this a secret from you, and I-"

"Well, I was mad," he cut you off. "But I'm not anymore. If there's anything that we can take away from this, it's that you're not the last Airbender. And neither am I."

You smiled at that. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

He pulled you into his side, keeping one arm around you while he performed random tricks; like making a whirlpool or air or sending a small tornado Sokka's way. You leaned into each other to muffle your giggles when he fell. You felt happier than you had since Ba Sing Se - filled with the happiness that only Aang could provide you. You had his trust, and his guidance, and you weren't alone. Neither of you were.

[midgardianweasley]

The Royal Ball

The Royal Ball

Loki laufeyson x Fem!reader

Summary: There is an Asgard ball being hosted in the palace, Y/N is yet to find a date to accompany her. She’s disappointed when a certain God doesn’t ask her, however, what happens when he sees someone else getting a little too close for comfort throughout the night?

Warnings: lil bit angsty, self doubt, JEALOUS LOKI, fluffy ending

Word Count: 3.3k

Message/ask if you’d like to be added to the taglist!

Requests are open loves <3

Y/F/N - Your Friend’s Name

It was a beautiful autumn’s day, crisp brown leaves were falling off of the large trees in the courtyard and scattering the cobbled ground. Loki and I had been wandering around for some time now, discussing everything from the books we’ve been reading to the dreams that have come to us in our sleep.

“And then this huge ghost thing was chasing me around the halls! and if that wasn’t weird enough, you popped up-”

“Ah, seeing me in your dreams are we, darling?”  Loki chuckled, taking great pleasure at the fact that he had made an appearance in my subconscious, completely ignoring my distress at being chased by a supernatural being.

“Funny you should say that, right after seeing you, I woke up. The sight must’ve given me quite the scare.” I scoffed, a smile unable to stop itself from making its way onto my face, eyes meeting his, face etched with shock. With a hand to his chest, he spoke again in disbelief.

“You have truly offended me, love. I never knew you had this side to you.”

“What can I say? I’m a woman of many talents.” I winked, nudging his side slightly with my elbow.

“Really? Can you produce illusions?”

“No.”

“Look inside other people’s heads?”

“Well, no, but-”

“Turn yourself into a snake to scare your eight year old brother?”

“I still can’t believe you did that”

“My greatest achievement yet.” He smirked, the memory never failing to amuse him.

His stories always had me in awe of his capabilities, even if it was to give his brother a long-term fear, it was still an incredible talent. Whenever he tells me of his latest adventures or tricks, I always think of how well his title fits him. God of Mischief. Maybe that’s why I liked him much more than what a best friend should, not that I'd ever admit it. Not to him anyway.

We soon found ourselves standing next to one of the windows of the hallway, the crystal clear glass giving a beautiful view of the city of Asgard. From here, you could see the Queen’s gardens, full of flowers in all different colours and types, grass cut to perfection. You could see the families in the town, walking around the different buildings, children playing. It was lovely to watch, seeing everyone enjoy the seasonal weather and the light bounce off of the windows, it was ethereal.

“I never get tired of this.” I sighed, voice only slightly above a whisper

“Tired of what, love?”

“Just, this. This view, this kingdom, it’s incredible.” I looked up at Loki, trying to see if he was seeing the same beauty that I did. He was already looking at me when I met his eyes and upon seeing the way they sparkled, I assumed he did.

“Actually, speaking of the Kingdom, I have something to tell you. There’s-”

Abruptly stopping him from continuing his sentence, voices were heard from the other end of the hallway, though we couldn’t make out the words until they came closer. We gave each other a quick look of confusion before turning to see where the commotion was coming from, hearing the quick and heavy footsteps before being able to put names to the faces.

“Loki! Y/N!” A deep voice bellowed. Was that Thor making all of that noise?

Before I could process any more information, a blur of a pastel pink dress was in my face and hands were placed on my shoulders. I smiled down at the slightly out of breath figure using me as a support stand, it was Y/F/N.

“Wow, Y/F/N, you sound much different than when I spoke to you yesterday, did you drink something funny?” I chuckled, receiving a glare from my friend and a quiet laugh from the God beside me. Thor soon appeared next to Y/F/N, hands on his hips and head thrown back as he tried to compose himself.

“My God, Y/F/N, you run fast.” He pants.

“Care to tell us why you’re both running like madmen through the palace?” Loki speaks, one eyebrow raised in curiosity and what looked a little like concern.

“We..had to..tell you..there’s a ball..next week.” Y/F/N spoke, a bit more stable now, but still in between breaths.

I felt my eyes widen, a ball? I didn’t know Asgard held balls.

“Father is opening up the palace next week to neighbouring kingdoms, in hopes to be closer with them, open Asgard up to more trade opportunities, build relationships and whatnot.” Thor explained, emitting a loud sigh to come from Loki.

“I was just about to tell her, brother. Thank you for interrupting.” He rolled his eyes, half joking, half serious. I reached up and patted his shoulder gently, a small smile on my face.

“Maybe next time Lok” He nodded in response, I didn’t get a chance to comfort him much more before I was being pulled away by Y/F/N. With a small huff of surprise, I gave Loki a glance, silently apologising for our conversation being cut short, receiving a shake of his head in reply, affirming me to not worry about it.

“So.” she begins. “We need to find you a date and a dress. I’m thinking blue. I’m wearing purple so it’s probably best to avoid that one. Hmm. let’s see..oh! I know! we could- Y/N? You listening?” I snapped my head around, not missing the sly smile that was plastered all over my friend’s face.

“Y/F/N, don’t-”

“Loki! He has to be your date. You could wear green and match! If he’s even going to wear green, I'm sure I can get Thor to find out, I assume they’ll get ready together. And black accessories! I have so many ideas.” She clapped her hands, over-excited about the opportunity to plan this evening for us. Except for one minor detail.

“That sounds great, Y/F/N, it sounds wonderful, you’re just missing something.”

“Missing something? Oh, if you mean our hair then i’ve already-”

“No, not our hair. Loki hasn’t asked me, and I doubt he will.” I spoke, the second half coming out more as a whisper, my heart dropping a little at the thought. He’d never really expressed having those kinds of feelings for me and I'd always seen him be close with different girls around the palace, he’ll probably ask one of them.

“He might ask you, you never know what’s around the corner.”

“I guess so, we’ll have to wait and see.”

And that was the last we spoke of it before she went into full planner mode again, while I continued to ponder over all of the thoughts running through my head. I mean, he could ask me, right?

--------------------------

He didn’t.

After talking about it with Y/F/N, I had a glimmer of hope that maybe I was wrong, maybe I hadn’t noticed something that she had, that Loki would approach me and ask me to be his company for the evening.

I spent the next couple of days with him, hoping he would ask me, everytime a pause would appear in conversation, maybe he was finally going to do it. And everytime, a little bit of the hope I had, had fizzled out.

I’d even considered other reasons as to why he hadn’t asked, maybe the King didn’t want him and Thor to have dates so that they could mingle with members of the other kingdoms. Of course that theory had flown right out one of the Palace’s windows when Y/F/N told me that Thor was going to be her date. I was right then, he wasn’t wanting to go with me.

I guess I understood, I’m the best friend, we’d always been that. I think a part of me just thought that maybe he, like me, wanted something a little more. Clearly, I was mistaken.

Y/F/N and I had been getting ready for a while now, our hair was styled to perfection, our dresses were on and both of us were fully accessorized. We were looking at ourselves in the mirror, doing spins and curtseys and gushing over how good the other looked.

“You look amazing tonight, Y/N, really. Loki is missing out.”

“Thank you, and I'm sure his date is beautiful.” I spoke, fidgeting with the fabric of my dress, trying to avoid the subject and the twisting knot in my stomach at the thought of him with someone else all night. “You look incredible! You were right to pick purple, it’s definitely your colour.”

“Y/N’s right, you look gorgeous.” Thor declared, leaning against the doorway sporting a black suit and a dark purple tie, the perfect match with his date’s dress. I could feel my eyes light up when seeing how happy the simple, yet effective comment had made Y/F/N. Rushing over, she engulfed Thor in a hug before leaning up slightly and giving him a peck on the cheek.

“Ah and can’t forget, Y/N, you look stunning tonight.” He gestured to me, arm almost scanning me up and down.

“Stop, you’ll make me blush.” I laughed. “You both head off, I’ll catch up.”

“Are you sure? We don’t mind waiting?” Y/F/N questioned.

“Don’t be silly. You guys go on ahead, I'll meet you there.”

With a nod and a wave, they were off. They really did look like a perfect match tonight. I continued to look at myself in the mirror, fixing any stray hairs, flattening any kinks in my dress. Realistically, I was probably trying to prolong leaving for as long as I could. I was excited, but I was turning up on my own while everyone else had someone, it was a bit nerve-wracking. I still wanted to look my best though.

“Stop trying to convince yourself that you look good, you could literally blow an army of men away by looks alone.” A voice spoke, I spun to see who was speaking, the flash of green was enough to decipher who it was.

“You look lovely tonight, darling.” He grinned, the pet name had set off butterflies in my stomach.

“Thank you. As do you.”

“Well, I did put in an effort, nice to know it’s appreciated.” He joked, a breathy laugh left my lips, entertained by his words.

“Yes, well, I'm sure plenty of others will too.”

“The eyes will never leave me, I'm sure. Unless they’re on you, then I'd be surprised if I get even so much as a glimpse in my direction. Someone is a very lucky guy tonight, that’s for sure.”

“Why do you say that?” I asked, confused by his statement.

“Well, they get to be beside you all evening, it’s a beautiful view.” He winked.

It could’ve been you, I thought. I knew he was joking, however that didn’t stop the fire in me from igniting.

“I could say the same for you, someone is a very lucky girl.”

“I’ll be sure to let her know if she ever thinks otherwise.” Joking, again.

So he had asked someone. Albeit disappointed, I'm happy he’s happy. Though I still wish I was the girl in question, I couldn't stop him if he was interested in someone else. That wasn’t fair.

Giving him a brief nod and a tight lipped smile, I picked up the front of my dress a little bit and made my way out of the room and downstairs to the ball. I could still enjoy myself, the night is young, I've got this.

------------------

“It was crazy! And let me tell you, my dad was so angry with me. He didn’t let me serve Turkey again after that year.” Charlie, a guy that I had met an hour or so ago, finished his story of the Christmas horror he had, allowing me to relax for the first time that evening. Up until now, it had felt like all I’d seen was either happy couples, or stares from across the room. Usually the second and usually Loki. The same Loki who had a girl’s arm linked with his and was looking at him like he held the world in his grasp. I broke the gaze, finding it difficult to look at the pair for any longer, as I turned back to Charlie so he could have my attention again, a lazy smile was present as he took a sip of his wine.

“I don’t blame him, really, it sounds like you started a riot!” I exclaimed, sending us both into a full on belly laugh, thinking back to the story. This continued for another five or so minutes, laughter turning into a low chuckle, as if we were about to be told off for how loud we were being. Just as my hand had reached his arm to help hold me up, saving me from laughing myself into the ground, Loki and his date had made their way over.

“Enjoying ourselves, I hope?” He beamed, taking one look at me before giving his full attention to Charlie.

“Yes, yes we are, thank you. How about the two of you?”

“Ye-”

“It’s been fine, yeah, good. So, what’s your name then?” Loki interrupted, his date having no choice but to leave him to respond instead.

“I’m Charlie Fernsby.” He held his hand out, greeting Loki. A gesture that was very awkwardly not reciprocated as he let his hand fall back to his side before Loki spoke up again.

“Charlie..Charlie, now, isn’t that a girl’s name?”

“Loki!” I scolded, giving him an evil side glance, what was he doing?

“No, no it’s okay. Yeah, it can be used for girls too, but it's common for boys to have the name Charlie.” Polite as ever, he responded. A mischievous look made its way onto the God’s face. Oh no.

“So, I take it your parents wanted a girl?”

“I- I’m sorry?”

“I assume your parents wanted a girl, considering they’ve given you a girl’s name?” I rolled my eyes, this teasing was unnecessary.

“Charlie, let’s go and get a drink.” I tried to tug him away, only to be halted by another sentence leaving my best friend’s mouth.

“It was only a question, I'm sure he doesn’t mind answering, do you Carl?”

“Charlie.”

“That’s what I said.”

“You said-” I tried to interject, but he was quick to stop me

“I know what I said, Y/N, but I'm speaking to him. Let him answer the question.”

Loki’s date was long gone by now, she’d left to speak to another group of people, presumably another few couples, leaving us three to have this discussion, thing, whatever you would think to call it.

“I’m just saying, maybe they would’ve preferred a daughter, seeing as they’ve very obviously made that clear.” He beamed, expecting me to join in and agree with him, I don’t find this funny. At all.

“Can you excuse us, Charlie? Loki, A word.” I pointed to the door, giving him a look implying for him not to test me.

“I’m in trouble. Wish me luck Carlos.”

“Charlie.”

“I know, that’s what I said.”

I pushed him all the way out the door, into the hallway and round the corner so as not to disturb everyone else’s evening. When I’d made sure there was no one else around, I looked up at the Asgardian, my arms crossed, eyebrows furrowed, I wasn’t impressed anymore.

“So, are we out here for some hide or seek, or?”

“What the hell was that in there?!” I raised my voice slightly, his need to always make everything a joke wasn’t working this time. He had his night, his date, he didn’t need to come over and insult mine.

“What was what, darling? I was making conversation.”

“You were making fun of him.���

“No, I showed some concern about his parents choices, that’s all. Friendly advice if anything.” He looked a bit more frustrated with me now, as though he was stating the obvious and it was going over my head. I wasn’t having it this time.

“No, Loki. You weren’t and you know you weren’t. You had your date, she was fine, you were fine-”

“Well-”

“Let me finish. Everything was fine. Until you caught sight of me having a friendly conversation with another guy who wasn’t you. But guess what Lok, I’m allowed to do that! I’m an adult, I can speak with whoever I like!” My arms were all over the place now, my frustration was starting to show itself, it seems I had a bit pent up.

I saw his lips move, I heard something, but it was so quiet I couldn't make it out.

“Speak up, Loki. I can’t hear you.”

“I said, if you think he was just being friendly, you’re clearly out of your mind.”

Is he serious?

“Are you- Loki, you have no right to make a judgement on who and how and why I interact with other people. Not that it should matter to you anyway, you’ve spoken to other women before and I've never said a word or tried to stop you. Why does this matter so much?”

Silence.

“No, please, go on, tell me, enlighten me as to why this bothered you so much tonight, because trust me, I'm dying to know, truly.” I was shouting now, I just wanted answers for his behaviour, I didn’t think it would be this difficult.

His hands had made his way into his trouser pockets, eyes looking everywhere before settling on mine. He looked conflicted, I wanted to drop it when I saw his troubled gaze, but I couldn’t go back in there without an explanation.

“Ple-”

“I like you, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear, love? That I was so uncomfortable seeing some you get close with some guy that I had to embarrass him in front of you? Something I'm sure my father won’t be so impressed to hear, but there, you’ve got your confession.” His voice had gone much louder than mine, taking me by surprise, so much so that it took me a minute to process what he had said. He liked me?

He turned to leave, I assume because I hadn't said anything for a matter of minutes, but I gently grabbed his arm, tugging him back towards me. I looked up into his eyes again. I was so close that you could see the specs of different colours spotted in them, they were flawless. This view beats the Asgard view anyday.

“Why didn’t you mention this before?”

He shrugged, “I don’t know. Worried I guess. We’d never spoken of moving past friendship and I didn’t think you’d be interested.”

“I’m more than interested, Loki.” I grinned, my smile meeting my eyes, never leaving his.

“Not Chelsey?”

“For the love, it’s Ch-”

I couldn’t say his name, a certain pair of lips had stopped me from doing so. As they molded against mine, my hands went up to tangle themselves in his hair, his hands falling to my waist and pulling me closer, I didn’t even think that could be possible. We pulled away when we needed to catch a breath, foreheads falling against each other, smiles painted on both of our faces.

“I bet I'll be in your dreams again tonight.” He whispered.

“I bet I'll be in yours.”

“Always are, Darling. Always are.”

taglist: @horrorxweasley

[captains-simp]

Carol Danvers ~ Impatient Acts: Part 2 (Consequences)

Part one

Carol Danvers X fem!Reader Smut

Word count: 5,129

Includes: choking, brat taming, face slapping, spanking, whipping, degrading, bondage, gagging, vibrator, edging, strap, overstimulation, anal and praise

[ masterlist ]

Buy me a coffee ☕

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"I'm cumming, I'm cumming!" You practically scream as you clench desperetly around the strap as you cum hard on the toy, shaking in pleasure as some of your white, sticky liquid escapes around the sides of the toy and spreads across your thigh as you clench them together after pulling the strap out.

You hadn't even regained your breath when Carol speaks her final words that night.

"You're going to regret that."

My Captain has ended the call.

You grinned as the memory of that night played through your mind for the hundredth time that day.

As you fiddled with your keys, trying to find the one to your front door, you considered what toy you would use later on. Since you had broken Carol's number one rule you had found yourself doing it again and again without her knowing (mainly due to the overwhelming fact she hadn't called you since).

Despite getting a release that night, it had made you even more sexually frustrated as Carol's threats seemed to follow you everywhere.

You figured if you were going to get punished for breaking the rule once, you might as well break it as much as you wanted because it wouldn't make a difference.

When you stepped into your house you were still under the impression that Carol wouldn't be back for at least a few more days. You hadn't expected her to be sitting in your house waiting for you. And you definetly underestimated how pissed she would be when you saw her again.

Before you could even think about what you would make for dinner you felt a strong presence behind you that slammed you against the wall before you could react.

You winced at the pain of the shock to you ribs and were thankful for your instincts to turn your head to the side so the wall only collided with some of your cheek.

You hadn't even been able to comprehend these issues when the all too familiar intruder pressed themselves fully against your back and wrapped their hand you had come to memorize like your own around your throat.

The intoxicating scent, glimpse of blonde hair, strong hand with slim fingers and especially the feeling of the covered bulge between her legs that couldn't press itself any further against you told you who it was.

"Hey...Carol." You greeted with a grin as best you could with your restricted airways.

Her hand was locked in an iron grip around your throat. Her fingers dug into the side of your neck so firmly you could feel her fingernail breaking and marking the skin as they pressed down on a vital part of the blood flow around your neck.

Combined with her palm threatening to crush your airways with one movement ignited a fire between your legs.

The pressure of both of these actions made you feel undeniably light headed. Carol reduced her force to allow the blood in your neck to continue towards your head when she spoke. After all, she needed you conscious for what she had planned.

"You don't get to call me that right now, brat. Not after what you've done." She said, the bitterness in her voice sending chills throughout your body that you weren't ready to take seriously yet.

"I'd say I'm sorry," you started with a smirk, "but I'm really no-" Carol didn't let you finish. She spun you around, too quick to stop, before slapping you harshly across the cheek.

You were taken aback by the shock and sting across your cheek, not expecting Carol to be in such a sadistic mood so soon.

She turned your body again towards the stairs this time and shoved you in that direction.

"Move." Was all she said before slapping your ass as a warning not to disobey.

You climbed the stairs as quick as you could but stumbled a couple of times, still recovering from the shock of being slapped so hard. Carol chuckled mockingly in response, making you cheeks burn with embarrassment.

You tried your hardest to recover from this though, trying to maintain your bratty nature as long as you could, knowing that was always what got the best performance out of Carol.

Once you stepped into your bedroom you wandered towards the bed, not sparing Carol a single glance despite your whole body fighting to see the anger filled expression that always ruined your panties.

You could hear her walking purposefully towards you. You could smell her familiar scent that overtook your senses. You could feel her hair tickling your neck as her hands glided over the waist of your blouse.

You couldn't stop yourself tilting your head to the side ever so slightly and stepping back to be against her.

Carol clearly didn't appreciate the gesture. She placed a strong hand between your shoulder blades and forced you onto the bed on your stomach.

Just as you went to move to get up in protest, Carol pinned your shoulders down with a painful strength you were futile to fight against.

She knelt one leg on the bed to lean over you and didn't hesitate to grab at the front of your blouse between your skin and the bed sheets.

There was no grace or sensuality to her movements, only a cold, silent annoyance.

Once she had a hold of the fabric, your girlfriend ripped you blouse apart without a second thought and tossed it across the room, some of the buttons scattering to places you would probably never find.

"What the hell?!" You object, frustrated by the loss of one of your best blouses.

"Quiet." She spitts before yanking at your bra, damming it to the same fate as your blouse.

You huffed quietly, both of you knowing she could have just as easily unhooked it rather than destroy the cloth.

You knew it was a way for Carol to get her point across. You had made a big mistake and you were going to regret it.

She gripped under your bare bicep to pull you up the bed so your face was hovering over your pillow. You turned it to the side to see what Carol was doing, just as she hooked her fingers under the area of you trouser waistband that was just above your ass.

She pulled them down without looking at you, only focusing her attention on your ass that was now only covered with you thin panties.

She gave the smooth skin a sudden slap that made you clench your thighs together tightly, your body fooling itself by thinking that would make any sort of difference against Carol's plans.

The captain then wandered towards your closet, leaving you to watch the empty doorway in anticipation as you lay waiting.

Your eyes widened in shock mixed and undeniable fear as she reappeared, holding a dressage horse whip in her hand. She wouldn't really use that on you...would she?

Carol chuckled darkly as she saw your fearful gaze. Your plans of continuing your bratty acts were jeopardized as soon as you saw the whip.

You whimpered as she arrived at the side of your bed and looked down at you with a now stoic expression.

Holding the whip firmly in her hand as she towered over you was enough to make you want to beg for forgiveness.

The captain radiated power and control, making you start to realise her threats weren't empty and that everything you had done you really would regret.

"Carol..." You whispered as you gave her a pleading look, ashamed that you already wanted to give in and make everything right.

"I've been saving this for a long time, you know? It's only for punishment when my main rule is broken. I always thought I would never have to use it on you. But you're starting to be too much of a brat, a brat that needs to learn her place as a whore." She explained stoicly as her hands wandered over your ass, dipping under your panties.

"I'm sorry." You whimpered as she moved onto the bed just behind you.

"Maybe you are, but that's not enough. You need to learn your lesson." Carol taunted. "If you want to prove you're really sorry you're going to take your punishment and thank me for it. Then maybe I'll stop once I've broken you into a begging, shaking, pathetic mess." Poison dripped from Carol's tone that filled you with dread.

"Tell me, how much of a slut have you been while I was away? I just don't believe you've only disobeyed me once." Of course you contemplated lying. You knew the more she knew the more she would punish you, but if she found out you were lying to her...

"A few." You whispered, afraid of how Carol would respond.

"Specify."

"Maybe...5 times?" You knew how many orgasms you had brought upon yourself, but you were so afraid to tell her.

"Maybe?"

"6?" You started to tremble.

"Don't lie to me." She gripped your hips harshly, her nails digging into your skin, before lifting them up so your ass was lifted up and displayed to her.

You automatically pulled your legs under you, knowing the position she wanted you in and hoping that by coorporating she would have some mercy.

This was proved wrong when she brought her hand down harshly and smacked your still clothed ass, despite the barrier there was still a present sting.

"13." You admitted and clenched the sheets beneath you in a tight fist in hopes of having something to help you through what was to come.

It was a number you had taken some form of pride in before Carol had forced you out of your bratty state. Now you were filled with embarrassment and despair, wanting nothing more than to take it all back and be praised for being a good girl for her.

"Such a slut." Carol growled before a sharp crack sound echoed throughout the room.

It took you a moment to understand what she had done, your body automatically registering it as shock to protect you. But the pain soon made its presence known and you burried your head into the pillows to muffle you cry.

She had whipped you. It hurt more than any other punishment you had ever received and you knew it could only get worse.

Carol's hands ran over the stinging skin before pulling you panties down. You bit your lip and closed you eyes as tight as your grip on the sheets.

"Then I think 13 strikes will suffice."

She had barely finished her sentence when Carol struck you again. This time you lurched forward and cried out loudly into the pillows while pulling the sheets close to you.

"Th-thank you." You whimpered, tears brimming in your eyes as you turned your head to the side to speak audibly.

You couldn't see her of course, but Carol was grinning sadistically at the sight of you. Your clear signs of pain encouraging her to struck again, and again and again.

You struggled to speak after each strike from the whip, but forced yourself to between sobs, not wanting to prolong the punishment or make things worse for yourself.

As much as pain always turned you on, this was a new kind that was almost unbearable. You needed easing into this level of pain, yet you felt as though you had been thrown in the deep end with no ladder to help you out. You would later figure out that was what made the punishment so effective.

After 6 strikes Carol paused to admire the stripped skin on your ass. It was already raw and sensitive to the touch. She almost felt sorry for you, having to endure the pain for a lot longer and being shown no mercy. But brats had to be put in their place. You had to learn.

"Only 7 more." Carol chuckled. Tears streamed down your face as you felt Carol's hands brushing over your broken skin.

"I'm sorry." You sobbed, lifting your head slightly. "I'll never do it again...just please...I can't take anymore." You begged pathetically beneath her.

"You're going to take this punishment or I'm going to be even more disappointed in you. This is all your own doing." Carol spoke without empathy or any emotion, making sure you knew she wouldn't stop.

She picked up the whip and brought it down on your broken skin. The intense sting felt different and told you these strikes would be etching deeper into your flesh, drawing blood to the surface only to be slapped away by the whip when it returned.

It was an unbearable pain. When you weren't thanking Carol or crying in pain you were begging her to stop, everytime thinking the next strike would hit your soul.

When Carol had finally struck you for the last time you collapsed into the bed, your legs no longer able to hold you.

You hadn't noticed her leave, but she must have as you became aware of more objects being placed near the end of the bed. You wanted to peer down in curiosity, but also knew whatever she had was for your punishment and would only bring you more dread.

Carol held your waist and moved you onto your back so you were looking up at her. The feeling of the sheets against your broken skin made you flinch in discomfort but was almost forgotten when Carol placed her hands on you cheeks to wipe away your tears. It was the only loving gesture you would get for the time being.

"Do you still want your Captain's forgiveness?" She asked, knowing the answer but wanting you to say it.

"Yes." You breathed out. "I'll do anything, I'm sorry I-" Carol cut you off by placing a finger over your lips.

She grabbed a pair of black, leather cuffs from her collection on the bed and before she could even reach for your hands you were placing them at the headboard for her.

She showed no signs of consideration of praise for the act or even recognition, but on the inside Carol was gleaming at everything you did. Your desperation to please her made her want to praise and pleasure you for hours. She had to remind herself of what you had done to end up in this situation. Reminding herself to give you the punishment you deserve for being a dirty slut.

Next, she spread you legs wide apart and cuffed each ankle to each side of the bed, stopping you from closing you legs or even rubbing your thighs together for friction.

It was then that Carol brought your attention to the vibrator in her hand. Without a word, she turned it on full and pressed it against your folds. Your leaking arousal and wanton for the vibrations allowed your lips to part for the toy and quickly engulf it into your needy pussy.

You moaned in pleasure and closed you eyes, surprised Carol was giving you this pleasure but not going to question it.

She watched your facial expressions with a satisfied smirk as she pulled her sweatpants down to reveal the sizeable strap on you hadn't yet seen.

She thought you looked so beautiful blissed out from the toy, your back arching to present your breasts and peaking nipples to her as your thighs strained against the restraints.

Her gaze was especially focused on the wetness seeping out of you, telling Carol just how much you wanted her.

"You don't get to cum until I give you permission." She stated before going to straddle your stomach.

Your eyes flickered open before widening at the sight of a new strap on just inches away from your face.

It was the largest one you had ever seen on Carol and figured she must have bought it on her trip as you had never seen it before.

However you weren't given a chance to ponder on this as she was instantly pressing it against your lips.

You opened your mouth for her compliantly and were quickly made aware you were going to struggle with the girth as well as the length.

You had your mouth as wide as you could manage and yet the strap still struggled to fit, stretching your mouth in an uncomfortable way you hadn't experienced before.

Carol watched every feature of your face as you struggled to take the strap. Not missing the look of hopelessness of getting it in as well as fighting back the distracting pleasure building between your legs. You wouldn't last long with the vibrator and you would never be able to fit the strap on in your mouth.

"I thought you wanted to make it up to me. If you can't even suck my fucking cock how will you manage it in you other slutty holes."

You tried to protest against the strap, assure Carol you could take it and try not to worry over the stretch you would experience in other body parts later on.

Carol smirked at your attempt to communicate with her, not being able to hold back further comments to provoke you.

"You really think you can take this?" Carol asked with a smirk and mocking tone. You tried to nod your head in response, painfully aware you barely had the tip in and was already struggling with it and the buzz between your legs.

"If you insist." Carol bit back a laugh as she thrust her hips towards you, the strap forcing itself into your mouth and surpassing you gag reflex in an instant.

Your eyes pleaded with her as you realised you really couldn't take the strap.

"You wanna keep going?" Carol taunted, knowing you were now physically incapable of shaking your head no.

The more you pleaded the further she sunk the strap in. You gagged and choked around the toy, eyes watering as it hit the back of your throat.

Your arms and legs desperetly struggled against the restraints as Carol finally pushed the strap in entirely.

She locked eyes with you the whole time, especially when she pulled the strap out slightly only to ram it back into your mouth to make you gag violently in protest.

Meanwhile the vibrator never faltered in its buzz that was electrifying your whole body. You knew you were edging closer and closer to that sweet release and that Carol would put you through the torture of having to hold your orgasm at bay, something you almost always failed at.

Your mouth and throat ached and you were vaguely aware of the trail of saliva travelled down your chin and either side of your mouth, you body attempting to lubricate your mouth and toy to ease the process but only adding to your humiliation.

Carol continued her bruising pace of fucking your drooling mouth as she smirked down at you sadistically, memorizing every detail of your blissed and pained face. The two sides of your battled against each other, not knowing which to give in to.

When your body finally fell limp in defeat you heard Carol chuckle as she pulled the strap out of your mouth, which apparently hurt just as much as it going in.

The moment is was out you gave a loud whorish moan, telling Carol you so desperetly needed to cum.

"What do you say?" Carol teased as she started to rub your clit in tight circles with her fingers, relishing in how much your wetness had spread.

"Please may I cum, Captain?" You begged and whimpered, desperate for your release.

"Hmm," Carol mused as she fiddled with the vibrator while listening to you struggle to hold off your orgasm. "No." She said simply before pulling the soaking vibrator out and turning it off.

Before you could whine in protest Carol looked at the vibrator in annoyance.

"Look at the fucking mess you've made, slut. Getting your whorish juices all over my toys and bed. Disgusting." She stated bitterly in an attempt to hold back how much she was internally gleaming at the mess while being able to humiliate you.

"I'm sorry." You apologised as Carol moved over to you again, slowly spreading your thighs as she positioned herself between them.

You looked down in silence, as to follow her lead, and watched the huge toy attached to Carol wander up your thigh.

You both knew you needed preparation for something that size. That on any other occasion Carol would have whispered sweet nothings into your ear as she introduced you to new sizes and girths.

But you were being punished. Everything was different. There would be no preparation for you.

"Captain..." You whispered as she lined up the strap to your still soaking entrance.

Carol ignored you as she placed her hands firmly on both of your thighs, keeping them spread for her merciless attack that was to follow.

"Be a good girl and take my cock, baby. Then maybe I'll start thinking about forgiving you." She said as the strap stroked your folds, nudging at your lower lips and separating them.

You held your breath as Carol pushing the tip inside you, instantly reminding you of the substantial girth.

You attempted to move your legs in response, automatically wanting to close them to prevent any more of the strap entering you. But Carol's grip on your thighs tightened and she held you down firmly.

In a silent concentration, she pushed her hips forward and the strap followed, stretching your walls for its entrance making you moan out and pull against every cuff restraining you.

"Ah! Captain!" You protested as she thrust further inside you, not being able to see that she was entranced by the show your wet pussy was giving her. Your outer lips opening more and more for the intruder, almost folding back on themselves as your wetness was heard around the toy, there being no space for it to leek out but still being present on the outside from earlier.

Your pussy ached as the strap sunk deeper, pushing against your walls and you having no way to stop it.

Just when you thought maybe it was in entirely, Carol gave one final thrust and the strap thrust against the back of your pussy with so much force it was bruising.

The girth and length was still clearly too much for what you were built for as it continued to push against every side of your cunt, especially at the back where it was threatening to rip through.

You moaned over and over, struggling to form words and accomdate the brutal strap. You were overwhelmed with pleasure and pain, hardly able to handle either never mind both.

You panted and drooled, not having any control over any of your body, only being a puppet for Carol to command.

She pulled the strap out slightly, only to slam it back in with force that made your whole body jerk and shudder. She pulled out more the next time, as though giving you a moment to prepare before thrusting the toy back into your still unprepared cunt.

It was as though your walls retracted every time she pulled out, making her re-entrance just as painful as the last.

Despite this, in the brief moments the strap left you your whole body yearned for it back, feeling completely empty without it.

"Your cunt's taking my cock so well, so desperate to be filled up by me." Carol chuckled to hide her moans.

Her pace never faulted, never giving you a break. Every thrust was just as hard as the last, leaving you a moaning and shuddering mess beneath her.

Her nails started to dig into your flesh as she pounded the strap into you.

In a flash, her left hand left yourself thigh and planted itself next to your head, gripping the sheets tightly and taking her fucking with a new vigour you didn't know she was capable of.

You were practically screaming everytime the strap hit the back of your pussy. Somehow Carol was able to tilt the strap at the last moment to slam against your g-spot, like it was trying to break through a barrier.

"You feel how deep my cock is inside you, slut? You want more?" You could only moan in response, not being able to vocalist with words how much you needed her.

You desperately wanted to cling onto her back as you approached your high. The feeling in your lower stomach increased and you could only moan louder in response to it, your pussy clamping down on the strap as it prepared itself for its release.

"C-Captain!" You wailed as your whole body tensed up.

You came with a scream of her name, clenching around the strap and gasping out for air. Your hips rolled, your back arched, your eyes clenched shut as you saw blanks and your pussy shuddered as it squirted your cum out of it, your now stretched hole allowing some of it to dribble down around the strap and onto the bed.

Carol could hardly contain her moan as she felt your cum spreading on both of your thighs.

She didn't give you a chance to recover. You were still being punished and Carol was far from done with you.

Her pace was unrelenting and merciless, fucking you through your high and into another orgasm.

"You clench so nicely around my cock, so needy. Do you want more?" She taunted, knowing you could barely respond and not caring if you did - unless, of course, you called the safe word.

Your body was at war with itself. You squirmed beneath but also bucked your hips up to meet her thrusts. You could focus on nothing but the intense pleasure between your legs, the pain there being long gone but Carol's nails still dug into you.

You didn't know how many orgasms she had ripped from your body. You were hardly aware of the drenched sheets beneath you. You failed to notice the hungry, lust filled look Carol was giving you through every single one of your orgasms she tore from you.

"Too much...I...can't..." You tried to say as you moved against the restraints. You were being overstimulated and it was beginning to become too much for you for you to handle.

She finally slowed her pace to a stop and pulled the strap out completely, leaving you panting on your back while she adjusted the restraints at your ankles. Even wiping some of your cum off her thigh and sucking it into her mouth when she had her back to you and you weren't looking. Not that she had to be secretive of course, your mind was blank after the fucking you had just gotten.

You only realised Carol had undone the restraints at your ankles when she flipped you onto your stomach, back into your previous position. You whimpered at the vulnerability as Carol lifted your ass into the air and spread your legs as wide as they could go before cuffing them in place again.

You had hardly gotten your breath back went you felt Carol behind you, pressing the strap against your ass.

You gulped as you realised her intentions, knowing the stretching you received prior would be nothing compared to this.

"I'm sorry Captain!" You pleaded. "I'll never touch myself again, please! I'm sorry!" You cried in a final attempt to avoid the punishment or at least have it eased.

Carol ignored you and placed a hand on both of your cheeks, spreading them for the strap that inserted itself into you.

You whined and stared down at your pillows as you felt the strap penetrate your ass, thankful for the cum still on the strap acting as a kind of lube.

The ache and stretch become apparent almost straight away. You whined louder as Carol pushed on and held you in her hands.

You tried to squirm away but your attempts were futile and you could only endure the pain of the strap breaking down your barriers.

She continued pushing onwards deeper and deeper inside you as you body betrayed you and started to clench around the uncomfortable intruder and make yourself tighter.

You continued to plead, beg and whine when Carol pushed the strap half way in.

"What's that? You want more?" Carol chuckled darkly before thrusting the strap in entirely and making you scream in protest as the pain shot through out your body.

There was a moments silence before Carol pulled the strap out and rammed it back in mercilessly, giving you no chance to adjust.

The sound that followed with each thrust made you blush in embarrassment and moan loudly, hearing your cum mixing around your ass.

"Captain!" You cried out as she pounded the strap into your tight ass and even gripped a handful of your

hair in one hand making you yelp.

You moaned and screamed into the air as she continued her onslaught, punishing you at a bruising pace you wouldn't forget anytime soon.

The sadistic blonde then forced your ass down so you were laying flat on your stomach on the bed before Carol thrusts into you again, her pace instantly picking up where it left off.

Your sounds were now muffled by the pillow under your face from Carol continuing to grip your hair and as a result, keep your head down.

You could feel your high approaching and with no way to speak this to Carol you only moaned louder into the pillow.

With a few final, harder, deeper thrusts, Carol ripped a final orgasm from your body that had you go limp on the bed.

When she let go of your hair you turned your head to the side and closed your eyes to focus on your breathing.

Meanwhile, Carol undid all of cuffs and put the strap on the floor before crawling up the bed to lay down on her side facing you.

"You did so good for me, baby. I'm so proud of you." She cooed as she stroked the hair away from your face and tucked it behind your ear.

You were moments away from falling asleep but you still managed a weak smile at the words made your heart fill with joy.

"Such a good girl for me." She whispered as you closed your eyes. "I'm going to apply some cream while you sleep, baby." She assured as her hand rested inches away from your wounded ass. "And when you wake up we'll take a nice, warm, bath." She promised before kissing your forehead lightly and watched you fall asleep.

[creweemmaeec11]

Avoiding Love: Epilogue

Guys this is so soft. I may have beaten kind touch in softness without crossing into that cliche over the top cringey cute. How do I do this

Part one Part two

The villain was having a hard time believing just what was happening right now.

He was laid back on the couch of a motel room, lights off late at night, some crappy movie playing on the small low res tv in front of him that he was barely paying attention to.

It would have been a fairly normal thing if not for the hero contently snuggled into his chest, sound asleep on top of him.

If this was a dream, he did *not* want to wake up any time soon.

But it wasn't a dream, this was real life. Feelings bubbled up in his chest as he looked down, movie long forgotten about. The hero was sound asleep, relaxed and snuggled in just about as close as he could get to the villain, having made some comment about it being punishment for avoiding him for 4 days.

If that was the case the villain might just have to do it more often.

It had been hours, and he could still feel the slight tingle of where the hero's lips had kissed his cheek.

He caught himself smiling again.

Gods. This creature in his lap had him so wrapped around his finger it was stupid.

The villain couldn't bring himself to mind.

"You're staring again,"

The sudden voice snapped the villain back to reality only to see two eyes sleepily peering up at him.

How long had the hero been awake?

The villain's face immediately took on a red hue.

How long had he been staring?

"I wasn't! I- wait- again?" The villain sputtered.

The hero on top of him giggled, and the sound immediately made the villain feel warm and floaty inside. The hero's face when they laughed while half asleep had to be one of the cutest sights the villain had ever seen. He felt his heart rate pick up again when he remembered what said hero had said earlier.

This hero could play him like a violin without even trying. He had it so bad it was ridiculous. He would have even called it pathetic if not for the fact he wouldn't change it for the world. Not if it meant losing this.

"Yes, again," the hero replied, before yawning mid-sentence and snuggling in even closer, "you were doing it for most of the movie too,"

The villain blushed even more. He was fairly certain the hero would be able to feel how flustered he was even from where he was snuggled against his chest.

"Sorry..." the villain muttered, shifting slightly.

"I don't mind" the hero replied, "I'm just wondering what you're looking at,"

"Nothing. I'm just... staring off into space,"

"For a villain, you're a terrible liar," the hero replied, idly drawing circles on the villain's chest with his finger, which caused goosebumps to rise. The villain could hear the amusement in his voice.

The villain wasn't sure what to say.

"I think it's pretty cute," the hero continued, yawning yet again, "That your staring and don't even realize it,"

The villain shrugged, pathetically tongue-tied and unable to come up with an excuse.

The hero shifted, getting more comfortable before snuggling even closer, "you're so warm,"

The hero glanced up when he still didn't get a response, only to see the villain pointedly looking away from him. The hero giggled again, poking the villain's stomach gently, "Sunshine, you don't need to stop looking at me,"

The nickname alone made the villain's gaze snap back to the hero laying on top of him.

"I was just wondering why, I didn't mean for you to stop," he explained with a small smile.

"You'd laugh," the villain muttered, trying not to shift nervously and disturb the hero who was still practically half asleep.

"I would never," the hero replied more seriously, "If I ever did, it would be fondly, certainly not mockingly. I promise,"

The villain huffed. This was unfair. He couldn't say no to the two puppy dog eyes looking up at him now. He never could.

"I'm just trying to convince myself this is real," the villain admitted under his breath, "because it feels like a dream,"

He couldn't meet the hero's eyes while he spoke, but when he didn't immediately get a response, the villain dared a glance.

The hero was looking up at him with a big yet soft, genuine smile. He reached down, grabbing the villains hand with his own, pulling it in closer and subsequently pulling the villain's arm around him.

"This is real," The hero reassured, intertwining their fingers, "don't worry"

"I just... never thought I'd ever get to hear you say it,"

"Say what?" The hero asked in confusion.

The villain opened his mouth to reply, but stopped, blushing, like the words were caught in his throat. He bit his lip.

But the hero caught on quickly, a small smirk growing on his face.

"Ohhh,"

The villain glanced at him, before looking away again, cheeks darkening.

"I could always say it again you know, if you'd like," the hero offered, failing to hide the amusement in his voice.

The hero smiled as he felt the villain go statue still underneath him. He turned his face downwards, resting the side of his head against the villain's chest. Gently, he examined the villain's hand in his, tracing over the different scars lightly.

"I love you," the hero whispered quietly. Even he was too shy to say it while looking at the other.

In his ear, he could immediately hear the sound of the villain's heart rate pick up, suddenly thumping like a jackrabbit through the snow.

The hero immediately giggled in delight, which didn't help the pounding in his ear slow down any.

He went to say something, most likely a tease of some kind but was cut off by a large yawn, causing the villain above him to chuckle.

"You should go back to sleep darling, you can barely keep your eyes open,"

The villain felt slightly guilty, avoiding the hero for 4 days was probably part of the reason he was so tired.

"It's okay, I'm not- *yawn* - that sleepy..." the hero replied, despite clearly losing the battle to stay awake.

The villain just shook his head and scooped the hero up in his arms as he stood up.

"Wha-"

"Just moving you to bed,"

After laying the barely conscious hero down, he threw the blankets over him. Right as he went to pull away and head to his own bed, he felt something grab onto his hand.

The hero was looking up at him with a mixed expression of pleading, sad, and almost slightly betrayed.

The villain gave a defeated laugh.

Puppy eyes were so cheating.

"Move over,"

The hero's eyes lit up.

He barely got a chance to settle down under the covers before the hero was reattached to his chest snugly. The villain just idly began combing through the hero's hair.

They lay in content silence for a minute, before a barely audible mutter caught the villain's attention.

"I really don't mind you know,"

"Mind what?" The villain asked in confusion, staring at the ceiling above.

"The staring," the hero replied, voice barely discernible from where he was mumbling, barely conscious on the villain's chest, yet still somehow managing to snuggle even closer, "makes me feel safe,"

The villain looked down in shock, only to find the hero had finally waved the white flag and lost the battle of staying awake, now sound asleep.

The villain doubted the hero would even remember any of this conversation in the morning.

He was kind of banking on it because he would never live it down otherwise.

One way or another though, he was sure of two things.

One, he was in love.

And two, he was *definitely* sending supervillain a fruit basket after this.

Master Taglist! <- click to join

@llamaly @why-am-i-on-this-website-anyway @larinzz @sharraus @asrasmysoulmate @kaiwewi @akawrites000 @sunflower1000 @aroacewitchyacademic @aquarelle-sirene @lbelle0527 @trappedgoose-in-a-writblr-room @freefallingup13 @enemies-to-idiots-to-lovers @homosexual-having-tea @friiday-thirteenth @chocomarsgalaxy @ravenshadow17 @daydreamed-snippets @stankyt0es @jinx1365 @rainy-knights-of-villany @fromtheo-withlove @maybe-a-cat42 @the-sky-writes @watercolorfreckles