#Suddenly there's a list of reasons for them behaving that way and we have to be understanding

[leighsartworks216]

Yeah, 'Cause Maybe Then You'd Want Me Just As Much

Sylus x Mephisto!Reader

In the actual Nightplumes memory, Mephisto actually gets along with the dove but um fuck that, we want it to hurt. Also wanna say the "I'm busy right now" line is from the actual game, which inspired this tbh

Title from "Girl Crush" by Little Big Town

Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, jealousy, self-esteem issues, self-worth issues, body dysphoria, shapeshifting, biting, fear of water, storms, pet names, crying, possibly ooc

Word Count: 3,699

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Ugh, doves. They think they're sooo perfect just because they're so round and cute and everyone loves them. Those pathetic little coos. A bird should make real noise, not just those dumb sounds.

So why is Sylus - a man whom you were led to believe had good tastes in avian creatures - giving it so much attention?

You bite his earlobe. His head jerks away on reflex, a soft hiss escaping through his teeth. "Behave," he chides. Doesn't even look at you.

You glare down at the pathetic dove again. Somehow it hurt its wing. And for some godforsaken reason Miss Hunter brought it to Sylus to look after. You know for a fact she has a doctor friend, why not foist it on him until she gets back from her trip? Yeah, Sylus is great with animals, but that's beside the point.

You bite his ear again. He sighs. "Do I have to send you on a mission?" You bristle at the question, feathers standing on end. His brow is furrowed as he gets back to examining the dove's wing. It's not even a bad break; it'll recover in no time.

So why can't he spare a second on you?

You try a different approach. With a more delicate touch, you preen the ends of his hair. He still doesn't glance your way. "I'm busy right now. Go entertain yourself for a bit."

Oh...

You step awkwardly on his shoulder, feeling suddenly too out of place there. Your wing almost clips his head as you take off for your perch. Even here, the wood just feels wrong under your feet. Your feathers are ruffled. They can't seem to relax. A chasm opens in your heart. Synthetic as it may be, you can still feel it. Like a black hole, sucking in all the light.

The dove coos. You can't stay in here. You slip out of an open window and fly off. Where to, you have no idea. Anywhere but here.

"Anywhere" lands you outside the window of a fourth floor hotel room. The light is still on, just a small lamp by the bed, but it's enough to see a familiar figure sitting against the headboard reading a mission brief. You tap on the glass.

Miss Hunter looks up with a start. The surprise quickly turns to a frown. She gets up in a huff and jerks the curtains closed.

You can hear a phone ringing inside a second later.

"Sylus! What have I told you about sending your bird to spy on me?!"

The faint crackle of Sylus's voice answers with a sharp scoff. "I haven't told Mephisto to do anything," he retorts.

"Then why is it outside my window right now, huh?!"

"Why don't you ask?" he teases dryly. "Maybe they missed picking fights with you."

"You-!"

"Goodnight, kitten."

The beep of an ended call. You tap on the glass again, softer this time.

Miss Hunter huffs inside. Moments pass, but the curtains remain drawn shut. You can't tell if the lamp has been turned off; you can't even hear her moving around. Maybe she's decided to take the "out of sight, out of mind" approach. Unsurprising, really. If she isn't ignoring you, she's shouting abuse at you.

A large crack of thunder rumbles through your circuits, stirring the air with electricity. You hadn't even noticed the weather - the clouds are dark, covering every sliver of sky for miles.

You tap on the glass more urgently.

The first droplets of rain begin to fall. Slow, random. And then more and more, all at once in a barrage of water. You press yourself tighter to the window and tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap-

The curtains are thrown open. The window lifts from its sill. Before she can angrily ask why you won't leave her alone, you fly in as quick as you can. Just in the nick of time, it seems, as the rain turns into a proper storm, lightning firing through the sky in a burst of light. You tumble onto the end of the bed, feathers ruffled.

She huffs as she slides the window shut, ready to tease you or yell at you, but another loud boom of thunder makes her flinch and close the curtains quickly, words stolen. "Fine! I guess you can... stay the night," she relents. She rounds the bed to sit back down where she was before. She picks up the tablet with her mission data and holds it up, pointing at you accusingly. "And no telling Sylus about anything you see here, got it?"

You caw back at her. You don't wanna tell Sylus anything right now. It might distract him from his sweet, precious dove...

Knees bent, she sets the tablet on her thighs and starts reading again. Rain hits against the window, picked up by a growing wind that slams it into the hotel building. Another shock of thunder. She curls slightly more into herself.

You preen your feathers. Align them all once more, clean them from the long flight here, soothe your nerves. All the while watching Miss Hunter's reactions to the storm. With every boom of thunder, she's startled from her reading. She does well trying to hide it. You can see the twitch in her eyes, the tension in her shoulders and hands as she holds tighter to the tablet, the way her knees pull in slightly more. It doesn't take a genius to see what's happening. The real question is why she's not doing anything to deal with it. Is it because she's trying to play it cool with you around? Not giving anything away so you'd have less to report back with?

You look around the room. It's nothing special. Certainly nothing as luxurious as the suites Sylus stays in. A suitcase is on the floor by the tv stand. A work bag is set on the desk. The perfect amount of stuff for a week-long work trip, you suppose.

You fly over to the desk, nails ticking against the wood.

"Hey, what are you doing?"

You poke your beak into a few of the pockets on the bag.

"Leave that alone! Don't go through my stuff!"

You wonder for a moment how soundproof these walls are, and just how confused someone listening in would be when she's answered by the caw of a crow.

You finally find what you're looking for in a side pocket and pull it out. It doesn't really fit well in your beak, but you make do. She's just tossed her tablet aside to jump up and bolt over to you, but she stops when you fly back over to the bed.

She blinks at you, confused. "What are you...?" You hop across the cheap bedding and hold out the item to her. She hesitantly accepts your offering, and you drop the earphone case in her hand. Understanding dawns on her. "Oh... thanks."

You walk to the other side of the bed, going around the tablet to roost on top of the untouched pillow. It's kinda hard and lumpy, but at least you're not outside. With that much water, you'd certainly shut down. You have no idea how Sylus would retrieve you if you had, way up here. A bitter part of you wonders if he would.

Miss Hunter watches as you tuck your beak under your wing. You don't really sleep during the night, but you'll manage. She slips the earphones in her ears and plays some music on her phone. The storm outside, the faint pulse of music, and her tapping on the tablet are the only sounds.

She opens the window for you in the morning, when the storm has passed. With one last warning not to follow her or report back to Sylus, she heads out for her mission and you take your time flying back home. She asked about the dove only once during your stay. A bandaid around her finger reminds her not to ask again.

-

"What time did you get back, pretty bird?" Sylus crosses the room from the doorway, fully dressed for the night and reaching out to scratch you under your chin.

You scoot away, further down your perch, glaring at the pretty white thing on his shoulder. He doesn't try to reach you. He lets you step away, hand dropping and eyebrow raised. "Are you going to be this feisty all week?"

You caw indignantly. Of course you are! That should be you perched up on his shoulder! You should be the one preening under his attention! Instead, Miss Hunter brings along a new, cute little thing, pestering him to take care of it "for her", and now it's the only bird around here he cares about.

He tsks. "You don't have to be jealous, sweetie. It's only for a week. As soon as she gets back, you'll never have to see it again."

The dove flies down from his shoulder to the perch. Your perch! You caw obscenities as you take its place on Sylus's shoulder - your rightful place. He winces at how loud you are directly in his ear, wings spread to give you a larger appearance as you speak your mind to the little dove that seems to only stare up blankly at you.

He smoothes a hand down your back. For a moment you forget how angry you are with him, too, for indulging Miss Hunter with this stupid task. For pushing you away in favor of caring for the pretty little dove. For not saying more when she called him about you. For just that moment, the firing synapses of your circuitry tingle pleasantly where his fingers brush over your feathers and seeing the dove on your perch becomes bearable as you stand on his shoulder, your favorite perch of all.

"Easy, pretty bird. It knows this is your territory," he assures. "It's still young, that's all."

And then you remember that none of this would be happening if this damn bird wasn't here.

You caw one last time at the dove, nibble harshly at Sylus's ear, and retreat through the living room door. You follow the familiar twists and turns up into the tallest heights of the base, into an alcove full of your treasures and soft bedding. You don't come up here often anymore, but it feels safe. The one spot of the house that really is just yours; no matter what Sylus says, this is his territory, you're just given more allowances than other people. And thanks to the times in the past when the twins would try to toss things up as a competition, tossing pebbles and jewels and even bullets, you have the privilege of pulling shut a little door, fully isolating yourself in your sanctuary.

Small lights turn on at the flip of a switch that makes a pleasant click. They shine and shimmer against your piles of trinkets. Coins, jewels, jewelry, a shell casing or two - all in their respective piles.

You hop over to your nest: the finest twigs woven together into a bowl shape, with strips of soft fabric lining the inside. Laying in it is like resting in cupped hands. You imagine they're Sylus's hands, clean from ever having held any other bird in his lifetime. His thumbs smoothing down your sides until your feathers are fluffed and eyes are relaxed shut. Pressing soft kisses to your head as he talks to you. You want to be cared for like that. Is the dove getting that same attention?

You get up from your nest. You can't think about it. Can't allow yourself to linger on the thought for any longer than you already have. So you sort through your things. You begin dividing them up into new piles with a different organization system. One by one, everything is shifted over. You're not sure how long it takes. You don't care.

But once you've finished, it feels wrong. Settles uneasily in your gut. Everything is out of place, even though it's all organized. Everything isn't where it should be. You spend even longer sorting it all back.

-

You squeeze your eyes shut. Tighten your hands into fists. Dig your nails into your palm as you will your shape to change. Grit your teeth as metal panels try to shift in unusual ways. Synthetic feathers standing up along your head, neck, back and arms, shuttering with the strain.

You release a breath and everything comes back together; metal in place, feathers laying flat, body un-tensed. You pant softly. Inhale deeply, and try again.

It feels wrong. It's like trying to squeeze into a too-small shirt. It won't happen, and the more you try to force it, the more it hurts, the more uncomfortable you are, and the more the fabric strains at the seams.

You gasp deeply. You're lightheaded. You wobble where you sit on the roof, supporting yourself unsteadily against the snow-laden tiles. It takes a minute to pass. Your skin feels misaligned, like a twisted sock. You try to ignore it; it just means you're a little bit closer to succeeding.

"I thought I might find you up here."

You turn away from the voice. From the sound of Sylus's shoes against the roofing. He sits down a few feet away, eyes never giving up their gaze on you. You hate it. For all the time you've known him, his attention on you has never made you uncomfortable or unsettled. Now, you wish he'd just look anywhere else. Go anywhere else.

Secretly, deep down, you're glad he's finally looking at you again.

He tilts his head. Frowns at the strange way your feathers stick up, and the odd shift of the synthetic skin on your back. "The dove is gone," he says.

You nod. "I know."

Quiet.

"Do you want me to apologize?" he asks.

You shrug. "Doesn't matter. It's gone."

"But you're still upset."

You pull your knees to your chest, but you can't pull them up as far as you'd like to. It's like there's too much strain. A rubber band drawn too far out and waiting to snap or break under the tension. You try to ignore it. Play it off. Pretend everything is normal and that this is intentional.

He doesn't buy it for a second. It's the curse of growing up with him. Of being by his side most of your lives. Of course he knows something is wrong.

You listen to the shifting of fabric behind you. Nearly jump at the feeling of cloth placed on your shoulders. His heavy black coat, long and still warm from his body. You don't feel the falling snow. Yet you can't stop yourself from pulling the front closed around you.

His fingers skillfully brush along your feathers, soothing them down with ease. And yet they keep standing back up a moment after, revealing the distress of your thoughts. Before he can say anything, you do.

"Do you wish I was a dove?"

His hand stops, pausing mid pet. He reaches out to turn you toward him. One hand on your knee to face you to him, the other on your shoulder. You wince as he does. And he notices - of course he notices. He's frowning, brow furrowed, as he pulls aside his coat to expose your legs further. You don't meet his eyes, but you feel them.

"Is that what you've been trying to do up here?" he questions, voice tight with concern and gravity. "You can't force yourself into changing-"

"But if I could, would that make you happier?"

You meet his gaze. Imploring, begging him to tell you. Tell you that he's been distant this week because he realized just how much better doves are. Because he realized how much trouble you are, mechanized and synthetic and fake. Because you aren't enough now that you can't be anything more than you are.

His large hands rise to your face, holding your cheeks, keeping your attention on him. He leans forward slightly, foreheads not quite touching. "If you could change again, I would be happy to see you become anything you wanted. Whether that means becoming a dove, or a hawk, or a hummingbird. The shape you take doesn't matter to me, because I fell in love with you. Crow, or dove, or human. Just you."

You search his eyes. Those pretty garnet eyes. Searching for any hint of a lie. But you already know he means it. "You were so dismissive of me..."

He frowns, brow pinched, but he nods. He doesn't deny it. "I know. I'm sorry."

Emotion chokes up in your throat. "You didn't even ask Miss Hunter about me. Or- Or keep that dove from getting up on your shoulder." You hate that you can feel your face crumpling as tears bite your waterline. See the pain in his face as he diligently wipes away the ones that slip free. You hate that you're so emotional over this - over a stupid bird, but- "I don't want to be replaceable. I don't want to be just a pet to you."

"You're not-"

"Then act like it!" His eyes widen, shocked by your outburst. "Just stop pushing me away for Miss Hunter. Stop... stop waving me off and ignoring me. You're all I have, Sylus. I can't- I don't want to be replaced."

A sob tears its way out of you. Sylus can't recall a time he ever saw you crying - before or after the experiments. You were always happy, or curious, or angry. But never had you cried. Synthetic tears wash down your face, and it's his fault. An ache clenches his heart like a closed fist. He did this. He pushed you away, he made you feel unworthy, unimportant. Let a dove take liberties in your territory.

He draws you into his chest, arms wrapping tightly around you. You don't resist, even as he feels your feathers standing on end. They shudder with your cries. He smoothes his palms over them. Brushes them down, scratches the nape of your neck as he gently shushes you. You press your face into his collar. Your fingers curl tightly into his shirt. You hold on. Cling to him like he'll disappear if you loosen up for even a second.

"I'm sorry," he murmurs against your head. He means it. Deeply. "I should have acted differently. You are my closest friend. My beloved. And I ignored you."

He rubs your back overtop his coat, slowly. Feeling along your spine, your shoulder blades. It's still misaligned. Shifted out of place. You're in pain - because of him.

He's careful as he gathers you into his arms. He scoops you up, cradles you against him while doing his best not to hurt you further; he can't bear the thought of making things worse than he already has. Snow crunches beneath his feet as he stands on the tiles. He turns and begins carrying you inside.

"Let's take care of you now, pretty bird."

-

Just like trying to squeeze into a too-tight shirt, the removal can be tricky. Sylus makes it seem easy.

He rotates your legs until they pop back into the ball-joint, never lingering any longer than he has to. You lay on your stomach, quietly sniffling, while he seems to massage your back, slowly easing the metal into place. Each fix releases the strain. Each soft click eases your feathers back into a resting position.

When he's finished, he helps you sit up. Your legs overhang the table, dangling in the air. He doesn't look at you at first. Busies himself with grabbing a cloth. But then he looks you in the eye as he wipes away the watery formula of your tears. His brow is tight. Lips pulled down into a frown. His eyes, filled with remorse. You can almost see the plan formulating: all the auctions he could go to to buy the shiniest, most interesting things you love to cheer you up; of all the jewels in his treasuries, which would you like the most, if he doesn't just give them all to you; where will Miss Hunter be and when to give you the perfect opportunity to play tricks on her.

You don't want any of them right now. After a week of being pushed aside, of being distant, all you want is right here in front of you.

You nudge his hand away. He obeys without hesitation, dropping the cloth to the table and holding it there, restraining himself. He watches, slightly bewildered, as you reach out for him. You wrap your arms around his neck, drawing him down to your height, and hold him there.

He stands still. Doesn't do anything.

You squeeze him around his shoulders and he finally moves. Arms circle your waist, hands resting open against your back. You breathe him in, soak in his warmth. Your feathers finally relax. You finally relax.

"I don't hate you," you whisper beside his ear.

He releases a long breath, shoulders sagging under your arms. He's still tentative, still careful as he brushes his nose against your temple. "How can I make it up to you?"

A thousand diamonds. A million. No amount is too much. Nothing too far for him to reach. He would bake in the sun for a week if you said. Fly across the globe in search of the perfect pebble. Give you a whole new set of feathers, darker than midnight and softer than a kiss. He's prepared to give it all - what lengths will you have him go to absolve himself? What would it take for you to forgive him? How can he fix the damage he caused?

"Stay with me."

"You can ask for anything."

You shake your head. Turn your head to bury your face solidly in his neck. "I just want you again."

'Again' tears his heart to shreds. He scoops you up once more, trading places so he sits on the edge of the table with you in his lap. Your territory. "You'll always have me," he swears. "And I will spend lifetimes making sure you never doubt that ever again."

---

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[ladyloveandjustice]

My Favorite New Manga and Graphic Novels I Read in 2024

I read 114 manga volumes and graphic novels last year! Here’s a link to my Goodreads year in books, which tallies one book from each manga series ( I've arranged it so the manga/gns at the beginning, the novels start with Red, White & Royal Blue) and my storygraph wrap up.  

I have a post for my favorite books of 2024 you can read here! I also have a post on my top 12 anime for 2024 and you can read it here! (Also, since a lot of this is yuri, check out my broader yuri manga rec post here!)

Now let's get to all the new manga, with a little check in on ongoing titles at the bottom!

Love Bullet by inee

When someone who never had the chance to experience love meets an untimely death, they're given a chance to become a cupid. If they help enough people fall in love, they earn the chance to have another shot at life. Koharu meets her end after her best friend, Aki, confesses her love to her, and she becomes a cupid...

Love Bullet is a brand new yuri with fun characters and a cute art style that feels a little charmingly retro. The concept of modern day cupids using firearms and behaving like sharpshooters in an action movie is so fun, but there's also a beating heart behind it. The tragedy of Koharu's life being cut sort and the bittersweet arc where Koharu tries to help her living best friend deal with her lingering trauma over her sudden death...it's touching and well written. All the cupids already have a really great dynamic, and as befitting a yuri, the way the girls approach their jobs is casually queer, with the "targets" often shown to have both guy and girl options.

It's a story with great potential that seems like it could go a ton of interesting places. It's a little different than the rest of this list that it's not officially out in English yet. The reason it's here is because the author sent out an SOS that the first Japanese volume is struggling in sales, and the international yuri community, excited about the awesome story they've seen so far, rose to the challenge and bought out the first volume in Japanese! So far it's been successful! If you end up reading it (you'll have to rely on scanlation but they're easy to find) or even if you just simply want to support a cool story. I really encourage you to do the same. Here's a document on how to buy the Japanese version. Hopefully, the grassroots support will mean we get an official English release soon!

The Summer You Were There by Yuama

All you lovers of tragic lesbians, this is for you. The manga follows Shizuku, a deeply depressed girl who is so guilty about something in her past she's got some serious suicidal ideation going. But when Kaori, a girl in her class, reads her writing and guesses what's behind it, she challenges Shizuku to a bet where she has to write a novel about a romance between the two of them. Now they're suddenly spending a lot of time together, and Kaori is helping Shizuku unpack her guilt. However, Kaori is struggling too. She's actually very sick, and though she hides it, it's getting worse.

The manga is a heart wrenching meditation on grief and redemption. For very different reasons, both girls think they don't deserve love and both girls are shown they're very, very wrong by the other.

I like how Kaori tries to be the manic pixie dream girl who fixes all of Shizuku's problems, but then Shizuku very firmly says "what the hell. no. You need support too" and they're both allowed to be full characters who find solace in each other. Shizuku's backstory is also really interesting, and it hits hard. It's just a very touching, but very sad read.

Barefoot Gen by Keiji Nakazawa

Barefoot Gen is a semi-autobiographical manga by Hiroshima survivor Nakazawa Keiji. Nakazawa said the story is taken not just from his life, but those of fellow survivors he talked to and lived with.

The story follows a boy named Gen, depicting how most of his family were killed by the atomic bomb, and how he struggled to survive in a post-war Japan, while surrounded by the horrible effects of radiation poisoning, economic devastation, and American imperialism.

It sticks out from other animanga I've seen about WWII bombings in that it's very critical and angry at the Japanese government, to the point that Gen even calls the Emperor a war criminal. What stands out even more is how direct it is in denouncing of Japan's war crimes against Korea and China, as well as condemning Japanese racism against Koreans. It makes sure you know that Korean POWs and forced laborers also died and suffered because of the bomb, and that the Japanese doctors discriminated against them, forcing Koreans to wait on receiving medical treatment until every Japanese person was treated.

It does a stomach churning, effective job depicting the horror of radiation poisoning and war, and its message is extremely firm: Its the common people who suffer in the wars while those in power exploit them, that war and violence are an endless vicious cycle we must break free from, and nuclear bombing must never happen again.

Though it puts a lot of blame on the Japanese government for entering the war and on citizens for supporting it, the story is also critical of America's cruelty and imperialism, depicting lot of things America did to Japanese citizens post-war we don't get taught-- like soldiers sexually assaulting Japanese women, like getting Japanese labor activists and protestors removed from their jobs, like literally torturing Japanese leftists, like luring Japanese citizens to treatment centers with promises of medical aid for radiation sickness, only to collect the data and send them off with no help...

Though the manga is brutal, there are moments of comradery and kindness (and a lot of silly humor). Gen helps a lot of people along the way, and his resilience and his message not to give up is the heart of the manga. It's educational and very direct about subjects that both sides don't want to acknowledge-- both Japanese nationalists and American nationalists do not like it (you can learn more about that here). Despite extremely gruesome content, it's aimed at kids, so it's very blunt and direct in its messages and dialogue. But that can be kind of refreshing.

 It can get a little repetitive on occasion and storylines and characters tend to be introduced very abruptly, but it does keep you rooting for and feeling for the characters all the way through. I think it's an essential, highly informative and unforgettable read, and everyone should read at least a little bit. Or at the very least, read this interview with Nakazawa. If you can't handle the gruesome imagery of the comic, he describes his experience pretty in depth here, and there's a lot of other insight.

This Monster wants to Eat Me by Sai Naekawa

Hinako is a depressed girl who survived a terrible trauma and has been searching for death ever since. One day she gets approached by, Shiori, a mermaid who wants to eat her…but the thing is, this monster mermaid is a gourmet who wants her to be as delicious as possible, which means she’s going to make Hinako happy first before she eats her (as apparently that enhances her flavor). In the meantime Shiori has to fight off all the other monsters who want to snack on Hinako.

This is TOP TIER yuri horror and a must read for any lover of monster girls. It was custom made for a freak like me, who thinks a monster girl covered in the blood of her enemies seductively telling the protagonist she wants to devour her is the stuff that dreams are made of.

Shiori, the woman-eating mermaid in question, is a fascinating character right off the bat, always having a hint of menace and inhuman mystery, but showing some potential for genuinely caring for Hinako someday. There's an ongoing mystery of why monsters are so attracted to Hinako that's a good hook, as is the irony of Hinako starting to come alive thanks to a girl who wants to kill her. It's good stuff! And it'll get an anime soon, which I'm praying is worthy of such a cool story.

The Guy She Was Interested Wasn’t a Guy at All by Sumiko Arai

The green yuri! This web manga finally gotten a physical release this year! It tells the story of Mitsuki, a girl who works at a record shop. Her classmate Aya wanders in. Aya doesn't recognize Mitsuki with a face mask and hair hidden by a cap and immediately assumes Mitsuki's a guy. They bond over their mutual love of rock music and slowly start to get closer…and Aya finds her heart is fluttering not only over this mysterious boy, but her female classmate that seems a lot like him...

Despite it's clunky title, this manga makes a premise that could have been painfully cliche and, in the worst case, extremely uncomfortable and makes it work. It never swings into homophobic or transphobic territory imo. It helps that Aya is clearly catching feelings for "girl" Mitsuki along with "guy" Mitsuki from the beginning, subconsciously knowing they're the same person.

The focus of the story is the way their relationship develops through a shared love of Western rock music and it really captures the joy of finding someone who can share your interests and the affection that can spring up for that. The characters are very likeable and cute, the art is absolutely gorgeous, and the story as a whole has this laid back, naturalistic feeling while still developing at a good pace. I just really enjoy kicking back with my green yuri, and it's good reputation is well earned!

Maus by Art Spiegelman

This comic about Spiegelman interviewing his father, a Holocaust survivor, and learning his story (with Nazis being represented as cats and Jewish people as mice) is, of course, incredibly well known to the point it feels almost redundant to talk about it. But I did read it cover to cover for the first time last year, and unsurprisingly it's a great piece of art and an important story for anyone to look into.

The parts recounting the Holocaust were heartbreaking and horrifying as expected, and I'd expected that. But the things I hadn't heard as much about was how much the book explored Spiegelman's complicated relationship with his father, and his anxieties as an artist and whether he was the right one to tell this story. It was fascinating to see him struggle with those things, and it added a lot of layers.

The Moon on a Rainy Night by Kuzushiro

One rainy night, Saki runs into Kanon and is immediately infatuated with the other girl. When she sees Kanon at school, she discovers Kanon is hard of hearing. Kanon is understandably frustrated at the ableism she tends to endure. But as Saki reaches out and gets to know her, Kanon starts to open up. And Saki, having gone through struggles related to her sexuality in the past, starts getting anxious about her feelings for Kanon...

The Moon on a Rainy Night is just... REALLY good. Kanon is just a great character, and as a lover of stubborn, prickly girls I just find her so charming. She has a lot going on with her, like her interest in music and relationship with her family and various quirks.

One thing I really like is how narrative allows her to be frustrated about the stuff she goes through, allows her to have complex feelings about being disabled, and pays attention the little details. She has to clear up misconceptions she can't hear anything, she points out that only 20 percent of deaf people use sign language (but starts using it when she really relates to a movie and the way the cute actor uses it, which is such a teenager thing to do), the lip reading isn't treated as some magic thing, Kanon has to remind people to look at her or she can't hear them, and she misreads things a fair amount.

I'm not hard of hearing, so I'm far from the authority, but most examples of deaf and/or hard-of-hearing female characters I can think of in anime (okay so there's only two I can think of, can't say that qualifies as a pattern) are depicted as shy, super sweet and socially naive, so it's refreshing to have a character who brings some variety.

Saki is also super compelling as she wrestles with her insecurities.I really related when she was learning sign language and got bummed out by the heteronormativity of one sign (using "man" and "woman" for marriage). I also like that Saki finds an adult lesbian who gently supports her and mentors her, it's all very sweet. It's just a fantastic romance and character study, and I hope the upcoming anime does it justice.

Wash Day Diaries by Jamila Rowser and Robyn Smith

Wash Day Diaries follows four best friends and their daily lives through interconnected short stories. As the official summary states: "The book takes its title from the wash day experience shared by Black women everywhere of setting aside all plans and responsibilities for a full day of washing, conditioning, and nourishing their hair".

The comic makes a great use of color to reflect the characters' moods, and the girls are drawn vibrantly and distinctively. The peek into the characters' daily lives feels like getting to know some good friends, and there's a great attention to detail, especially with the comic's beautiful step-by-step depiction of how each woman does her hair and what it says about her.

 The comic touches on topics like depression, dementia, and homophobia. Just like real life, these things aren't neatly resolved, but the story does offer some hope and catharsis. It's a pretty quick read, but it's packed with good stuff.

Magilumiere Magical Girls Inc. by Yu Aoki

I'm going to give myself a little break and just reuse my entry for the anime. (The only difference between them is that the manga flows a bit better than the anime, moving at a faster pace with huge panels suiting the art style and the action!)

Being a magical girl is no longer the domain of teenagers, and has evolved into an actual career dominated by adult women. Kana becomes a magical girl for a scrappy start up company, and tries her best to navigate working life.

It’s the magical girl story about adult women I’ve been craving for years! Magical girl media often explores the struggles of adolescence and growing up, and this show takes us to the next step by using magical girls to explore what it’s like to be a young woman entering the working world. The focus is one Kana struggling to grow her confidence and accept support from her workplace, but it also has a lot to say about companies exploiting their workers, prizing efficiency and growth over actually taking care of their customers, and it shows how the world could be better than what it is right now. Check out my review here for more detail!

I Married My Female Friend by Shio Usui

A pair of best friends enter a platonic marriage they both agreed to with the promise they’ll divorce if one of them falls in love. But one woman has decidedly not platonic feelings for her wife, and is trying to repress them...

This is a sweet, laid-back story from the creator of Doughnuts Under the Crescent Moon. It has a very slice-of-life feel, with the characters feelings and conflicts developing subtlety. There's a focus on domestic life and the compromises and struggles one makes along the way. It's set in a world where gay marriage is legal in Japan, which is cool to see. If you liked Doughnuts, or are just looking for a chill yuri, I'd check this out!

Himawari House by Harmony Becker

 Himawari House follows the story of Nao, a half-Japanese woman who immigrated to America when she was young. She's now returning to Japan and feels a feels a deep sadness from how disconnected she's gotten from Japan's language and culture. While in Japan, she lives with two other girls, Hyejung and Tina, who are from South Korea and Singapore respectively. They form a friendship as all of them struggle to get used to Japan and deal with language barriers.

We get the interconnected stories of all three girls, and all of them are really interesting in their own way. This story does a lot of cool things with language, for example, showing words fading out when someone can't understand them, giving the reader the same experience the character is having trying to understand the language. It was a fascinating experience. The book does an effective job exploring Nao's feelings of alienation from both America and Japan, while having a lot of other interesting plotlines that made all the characters feel rounded and developed, such as struggles with independence and expectations from parents, trying to navigate romances, and dealing with homesickness. The art is beautiful as well. This is a well crafted and insightful story, that you might find especially great if you're interested in languages, cultures, stories about identity, and stories about Japan.

Kiss and White Lily for My Dearest Girl by Canno

Kiss and White Lily follows multiple lesbian relationships, with its main storyline being about two academic rivals, where one is determined to rank first in class, and the other is an effortless genius who becomes intrigued at the possibility of someone beating her.

The main couple have the kind of messy combative sexual tension I wish we’d see more often in yuri because it’s so good. I just love the drama and mixture of rage and attraction. The manga follows other couples too and while some stories are stronger than others, they're all usually entertaining in some way and its fun to watch the characters grow. The art's also very cute and the characters are vibrant. The ending is really strong too, putting a perfect cap on the story of the main couple especially.

However, big warning for some nonconsensual kisses in early volumes, with Kurosawa being especially pushy. There's also a storyline with...well it does leave you a little wiggle room on whether it's actually incest between a minor and an adult portrayed romantically??? but um. the implication is strong. Fortunately, that's mainly contained to the seventh volume--you can just skip any stories about the sisters.

When the manga is good, it's really good, and that makes up for some of the questionable elements for me, even if I wish they weren't there. You might agree or disagree!

Ongoing and ended titles:

Here's a look at some of the ongoing titles I've been following! You can look at this post for breakdowns of what they're all about and why I recommend them.

I Think My Son is Gay and I Want to Be a Wall both wrapped up with fairly open endings but remained good reads over all. I finally got around to finishing After Hours, a yuri about a girl who gets ditched by her friend at the club, only to meet a cool punk girl who introduces her to the world of DJ-ing. It's a very charming three volume tale, and I love the playful vibe and more natural-sounding dialogue, especially for the cool party-girl love interest.

There are several manga that just stay the course as far as being excellent go: Otherside Picnic (which is finally at some of the best parts of the light novels! It's getting real!), Monthly Girls Nozaki-kun, Witch Hat Atelier, A Man and his Cat, How Do We Relationship, March Come in Like a Lion, The Summer Hikaru Died and She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat.

For Yuri is my Job, I have to warn for a intense predatory sexual assault scene between an adult antagonist and one of the underage main characters. It's even ambiguous whether the underage character in question got raped for a few pages (but she wasn't). It's completely framed as a an evil, bad act by the antagonist, but how it was handled was SO intense and kind of weird I'm not sure how I feel about it. Yona of the Dawn has gotten incredibly intense lately and continues extremely slowly but surely approaching the finale. Maybe we'll get it in four years or something.

And that it! I'm going to happily keep reading all these manga, as well as continue checking out some new ones, like Akane-banashi! I hope you enjoyed these recs.

[cioud-berries]

Mutual Benefit || Chapter 3

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Hello all!! I wrote all three of these chapters in less than 24 hours. Most of my finals are due next week so please bare with me for the next few chapters, I will try my hardest to get them out quickly!!

If wanna know where I am at with the chapters, or even just my life, or just wanna talk, you should join my discord!! It'd be great to see you there!

Summery:

Posts season 2: Spoiler warning!! Being forced into an arranged marriage, [Name] tried her hardest with her unreceptive husband Salo. After his death, she was forced to replace his council position, trying to figure out who she was as a person. Sevika never expected to get anywhere close to the council, let alone join them. As the stigma around people from Zaun still stood, she struggled to gain the respect from her new fellow councillors. With so many differences how could the two really help one another?

Chapter Warnings:

Season 2 Spoilers, alcohol

Word count: 3,256

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For some odd reason, Sasha’s nanny had last minute plans come up. Leaving [Name] with no other choice than to shove her daughter in the nicest dress she had, and drag her along to the party. Sasha was so excited to attend her first party. On the walk over, she wouldn’t stop jumping around and yelling about how excited she was to show everyone her dress.

[Name] could only laugh at her daughter's antics, but it was quickly followed up by her reminding her daughter. “This is an adult party. You must behave yourself.”

“I will mommy!” She excitedly exclaimed. She was twirling around to see the way her dress flowed around her.

[Name] let it happen, knowing it was best for her to get all of her energy out now before the party. As they rode the elevator up to the top floor, [Name] took deep breaths as Sasha leaned on her.

She had never attended a party without Salo, and this would be the first time she would be attending once since his death. Usually he navigated her through the parties, taking her to who she should talk to, never needing to worry about council things.

Knowing this party was going to be the biggest point in wanting to get her plans to be voted on, she put an air of confidence around her. Faking until she made it was going to be her personal motto after this, knowing you had to have some sort of arrogance to get what you want, like Salo did. 

As she entered the party room, Shoola immediately noticed, making her way over. “I am pleased that you made it.” 

“Thank you for inviting me.” [Name] kindly responded with.

Now that Sasha was actually at the party, she suddenly became shy, hiding behind her mothers legs. While it was known that she and Salo had a child, he rarely went out with her, making her appearance not known to the public.

Shoola was quick to notice the young girl, crouching down to her level. “And who are you?” She asked in a soft tone, not wanting to scare the girl.

[Name] pulled Sasha to her side, making sure she wasn’t to hide. Sasha looked up at her mother, wanting her approval to go on. [Name] nodded, saying that it was okay to talk to this stranger. 

“My name is Sasha.” The girl quietly whispered. 

“What a beautiful name.” Shoola smiled at her. “Well Miss Sasha, I hope you enjoy the party.” Shoola rises back up to continue talking with [Name].

“What do we say?” [Name] asked Sasha.

Sasha whispered a quiet “Thank you.” 

“I apologize for not warning you that I would be bringing her.” [Name] was quick to add. “Her nanny said she had a family emergency last minute and I had no time to find someone else.”

Shoola put her hand out to stop [Name] from continuing. “It is quite alright. I am happy she is here.”

“Thank you.” [Name] sighed out in relief. “I also invited Sevkia. I didn’t know if you invited her or not but since she is a councilor now I thought that she should be a part of our parties as well. I hope you don’t mind.”

Shoola seemed to hesitate a bit. Aside from [Name], she seemed to be the most accepting of Sevika in the council. “I didn’t invite her because I thought she wouldn’t want to come. But thank you for extending the invitation.”

“I don’t know if she will come.” [Name] added “But I thought it would be nice to at least invite her.”

Their conversation continued, talking about how much Piltover was going to change now. At some point, Sasha left her mother’s side without her knowing. Wandering around the room, she looked at all of the partygoers and listened to their conversations. Sometimes they would shoo her away, and other times they would begin kindly talking to her, asking who she was there with.

To Sasha, everyone began to look the same. The same expensive clothes, all leaning down at her. She was bored out of her mind by all of the people. Going back to her mother who was talking to a different person now. 

She grabbed her mothers arm, tugging on it. “Mommy, I wanna go home!” She whined. 

“We will go home soon sweetie.” [Name] brushed her off.

Sasha looked around the room, trying to find anyone interesting to talk to. Not too far away stood a woman that looked very out of place. This piqued her interest as she made her way over to the woman. As she got closer, she noticed that the woman was clearly hiding something under the cloak that draped over her left shoulder. 

Intrigued, she walked up behind the woman. Without a word she pulled the fabric up to reveal the mechanical arm. She was fascinated by the metal. All the metal she had seen in her life were shined to perfection to the point where you could see your own reflection. This metal was rough and dull, something that she wasn’t used to. Wanting to see more of it, she grabbed the mechanical arm, pulling it closer to her to get a better look. But she forgot that it was attached to a person. 

Sevika quickly pulled her arm away from the girl. “Don’t touch that!” She raised her voice at the child. She came no were close to harming Sasha, but the sudden movement and voice raised at her startled her, causing her to cry.

[Name] immediately noticed the commotion. Giving her glass of wine to the person that she was talking to, she ran over to Sasha, kneeling down to try to calm her. “You can’t just grab people like that.” She softly scolded, picking her up and carrying her out of the room to calm her down. 

Everyone in the room was quiet, watching Sevika, assuming that she hurt the child in some way. They began to whisper behind their hands, already creating rumors about the new counselor. 

Walking over to the balcony, she lit a cigarette, not caring what the others were thinking about her. She began questioning why she even came. No one wanted to talk to her, nor did she want to talk to anyone. She couldn’t even get drunk with how little alcohol the glasses held. 

As she finished the cigarette, she turned to leave, not seeing any reason to stay. She was met with [Name], holding Sasha's shoulders, walking up to her. Sasha’s eyes were red as she sniffled. 

They were quiet for a second before [Name] nudged Sasha. “What do you have to say to Miss Sevika?”

With a sniffle, Sasha got her words out. “I am sorry for grabbing you.”

Sevika looked down at the child, not knowing what to say. Normally she’d just walk off without a word. But when she looked up at [Name], she could tell that she was expected to respond. 

“Whatever.” Sevika let out, turning back to the railings, hoping they would leave so she could make her escape. 

[Name] crouched down to her daughter, giving her a kiss on her forehead. “Why don’t you go find Miss Caitlyn and Vi while I talk to Miss Sevika. Then we can go home.” 

“Okay momma.” The girl sniffled as she ran off. 

To Sevika’s dismay, [Name] leaned against the railing beside her. “I’m sorry about her.” She apologized.

Sevika lit another cigarette, knowing she now was stuck in conversation. “Didn’t know you were married.” Sevika ignored the apology. 

“I’m not.” [Name] quickly responded. She didn’t know why but she cared about what Sevika thought of her. “He died during the whole war thing.”

“Sorry.” Her tone was not apologetic.

“Don’t be!” [Name] was quick to dismiss her condolences, hating all of them that she had gotten this party. “It was an arranged marriage. I’m honestly glad he’s dead. I only mourn for the loss of my daughter’s father.” Her eyes widened as the words came out of her mouth, realizing how much she had to drink and shouldn’t be saying that outloud. “Pretend I didn’t say that.”

Sevika only snickered at her honesty.

“I am glad you came.” [Name] tried continuing the conversation. “Are you enjoying yourself?”

Sevika cracked a smile at the absurdity of her question. “This is one of the most boring parties I’ve ever attended. I can’t even get a buzz with these small cups.” She held up the fancy glass that held a clear liquid.

“My husband felt the same.” [Name] laughed. “He would have me hold another glass for him so it didn’t look like he was drinking as much as he was.” 

“Why would he attend a party like this if all he wanted to do was get drunk?” Sevika took the last sip of alcohol from her drink.

“Because he knew how to play the game.” [Name] slid her mostly full glass of alcohol to Sevika. Hesitantly, Sevika took it from her. “And he liked to try his best to get drunk while doing it.”

“You keep mentioning this game.” Sevika commented, still not fully understanding her intentions.

“The game of politics.” [Name] stated matter of factly, turning around to the crowd of party goers inside. “You’re a fool to think that you aren’t playing it. Everyone is a pawn. Your goal is to make everyone your pawn while they think that you’re their pawn. It’s how anything gets done around here.” 

“And why do you care if I know how to play it or not?” Sevika felt as though that [Name] was trying to make her a ‘pawn’ as she described it. There was some truth to her suspicion. [Name] did want to genuinely get to know Sevika, but she also was trying to butter her up to assist in the deconstruction plans. 

“We’re both new players.” [Name] shrugged. “We’re the most likely to be taken advantage of. Even though most of them are new to the position, they all have their own deep connections already formed. It is best if we banned together against them… Plus, I believe we have similar interests for the most part.”

“And what interest do we share?” Sevika raised her eyebrow at her, taking another sip from [Name]’s glass.

“Improving the life of the people of Zaun.” [Name] said confidently, staring directly into Sevika’s eyes.

Sevika huffed, also turning around to the party. “So how exactly do I make people believe I’m their pawn?”

“Like this.” [Name] began to walk back into the party. 

Automatically her eye scanned over [Name’s] body, mainly focussing on her ass. Sevika looked up to be met with, [Name]’s shocked expression. The only reaction she could give to being caught was a sly smirk. 

[Name] took a step closer to Sevika, grabbing the glass of alcohol out of her grasp. She finished the liquid off and shoved the glass back into Sevika’s arms. “Come on.” She mumbled, heading for a woman who was grabbing another round of refreshments off the table. “Madam Shaw.” [Name] greeted happily.

“Oh [Name], it is so good to see you again. I am so sorry about Salo.” She spoke sincerely.

Sevika watched [Name]’s jaw clench at the mention of her late husband. “Thank you. It has been especially hard on Sasha.” 

“Oh she is such a sweet child. I had a small conversation with her earlier. It was smart to bring her here and get her out of the house.” Madam Shaw complimented. 

“Thank you. We tried our hardest with her.” [Name] ended the conversation, quickly turning to what she really wanted to talk about. “Sevika and I were just discussing your recent purchase in the emerald mines up to the north. We wanted to know more about it.” 

[Name] looked over at Sevika, queuing that it was her time to talk. Sevika frowned, not necessarily waiting to get into this conversation. She chose to stay quiet, not muttering a word.

The woman’s face lit up, thinking that two new bugs had just gotten stuck in her web. She began to explain her elaborate emerald mines and how she was looking for more investors. Spewing on and on about how prosperous the mines were and that even if they invested the tiniest bit of money, the payout would be massive. 

They both were extremely bored and could care less, but [Name] made it hard for anyone to tell. While the woman went on and on, Sevika watched [Name]’s facial expression, analyzing how effortlessly she seemed interested, also noticing the few times her facade cracked.

[Name] wouldn’t have chosen madam Shaw if she knew that she’d talk this much, but she knew she couldn’t just leave. Her savior soon came tugging on her arm, yawning in the process. “You said we would leave soon.”

Madam Shaw halted her conversation, her attention being drawn to the young girl. [Name] turned to the young girl, putting her hand atop Sasha’s head. “I did sweetheart. I’m sorry.” She turns back to Madam Shaw “I apologize but I have to get her to bed.”

“No need to apologize, I completely understand” She waved [Name] off. “I will continue talking to you about it the next time we see one another.”

“Thank you.” [Name] fakely smiled, trying her hardest to get out of the conversation. She felt bad for leaving Sevika but she needed to get her daughter to bed. She quickly thanked Shoola for the party before leaving the room, heading to the elevator. 

When she entered the elevator, she noticed Sevika leaving the door that led to the party. She held the elevator door, allowing her to enter alongside them. “You didn’t want to hear more about her emerald mines?” [Name] joked.

Sevika did not seem amused. “I think I would’ve hit her if she said ‘if you become a beneficiary’ one more time.” 

“I did not think she would be so… Passionate about her mines.” [Name] said in her defense. Sasha stood in between them, trying to get a look at Sevika’s mechanical arm. 

“How was listening to that a good part in playing the game?” Sevika questioned.

“It put you on her radar. There’s no way she’s telling the whole truth about those mines. But she thinks you’re going to invest a massive amount of money. If she asks why you haven’t yet, you come up with some random reason, and if it is in her control, she’ll try to fix it in some sort of way.” [Name] explained.

“What happens when she realizes that you are never going to invest?” Sevika couldn’t lie, she was interested in seeing how all of this played out. She did believe that the higher ups in Piltover were scummy and constantly trying to play one another, she thought that [Name] was acting like she knew more than she did.

The elevator reached the bottom floor. The doors opened, and they all walked out, heading to the main entrance.

“You invest the smallest amount, promising you will invest more once things are better.” [Name] shrugged. “And you use that same strategy on everyone you come across.”

“That’s stupid.” Sevika said with a big huff. She didn’t necessarily like [Name] but she was the most bearable out of the council.

They exit the building, about to go their own ways. Sasha didn’t know when she would see the woman again and really wanted to know what she looked like under the cloak. “I want to see your metal arm.” She said out of nowhere.

“You have to ask and say please.” [Name] told her daughter. She then looked up to Sevika mouthing ‘You don’t have to.’

“Can I please see your metal arm?” Sasha asked properly this time.

With a sigh Sevika pulled the cloak back, revealing her newest arm. “Woah!” Sasha shouted getting closer to Sevika while inspecting the arm. She thought it was the coolest thing. She reached her hand out to touch it but was quickly stopped by her mother.

“Sasha, she said not to touch it earlier.” [Name] sternly reminded. Sasha made her way back to her mother, standing by her side, grabbing her hand. “How long have you had this for?” [Name] questioned, not even knowing that it was under there. She didn’t believe her daughter when she said “metal arm”

“I had this one made a few weeks ago.” She dodged around the question [Name] asked.

[Name] nodded, realizing that it was a sensitive topic. She knew she needed to leave soon, but she needed to get to the real point of why she invited Sevika and hung around her most of the night. 

Remembering how Sevika looked at her earlier, she took a slow step closer, kind of trying to seduce her. She felt bad to do it but she too was a player in the game. “Have you changed your mind about helping me with the materials from the Hex Gate?”

Sevika knew she was getting played. The way [Name] was leaning towards her with her chest, the way her bottom lip was puffed out and her eyes were pleading. If they were in the undercity, she would’ve shown her what happens when you try to seduce Sevika. But they weren’t, and her child was a step behind her. 

“I’ll think about it.” She snarled, not liking that [Name] was in fact persuading her. 

She watched as [Name]’s lips turned into a smile of victory. “Thank you. If you change your mind please let me know as soon as possible!” 

Grabbing Sasha’s hand, she began to walk away from Sevika. Sevkia stood there, still not being able to understand how she was persuaded so easily. Her eyes were drawn back to her ass as she walked. 

Almost as if [Name] could tell Sevika was staring, she looked back as Sevika, giving a cocky smirk and a wink, before continuing down the street. Sevika huffed before turning around, going her own way home.

It’s not that she disagrees with the plan of using the materials to better the life of Zaunites, she doesn’t trust [Name]’s intentions. [Name] went on and on about how you need to manipulate others and think things are for their benefit, but she thinks the biggest person she needs to worry about is [Name].

Once [Name] got home. She quickly got Sasha dressed for bed and tucked her in. Drawing herself a bath, she needed to think, and that is best done by soaking in warm water. Laying in the tub, she tried to think of the best course of action that the council would agree with. Her thoughts turned to Sevika, hoping that she would help with this, knowing way more about Zaun then her. 

Her thoughts quickly turned to how Sevika looked at her at the party. The image of her face ingrained in [Name]’s brain. She enjoyed the attention, enjoyed feeling wanted, even if it was pure sexual desire. It was nothing she had experienced before.

But then she reminded herself of how she used that against Sevika, and was quickly embarrassed by her actions, even though they seemed to work on her. The thought of Sevika taking that action in the wrong way haunted her. 

She could no longer plan out anything, her thoughts being consumed by Sevika. She gave up trying to work, climbing into bed. Shutting her eyes tightly she tried her hardest to push the thoughts out of her mind.

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Overall Masterlist

Discord link

[remembrancer-of-heresy]

Tenderness

AU Reverse Therapy

Previous Part: Peaceful Sleep, Next Part: Feast

Summary: Red corsairs find it harder to keep their desires while the girl becomes attached to them.

Pairing: Chaos!Lamenter/fem!OC/Chaos!Flesh Tearer

Characters: Malina (fem!OC), Luka The Angel (OC Chaos Lamenter), Virgil (OC Chaos Flesh Tearer)

Warnings: yandere, violence, cannibalism, stolkhom syndrome, somnophilia

Word count: 3056

Author's note: Suddenly I realized that if I had written Feast, it would have been a very choppy and quick ending to "Malina's assimilation". So that's how this part was born. And I must say, I'm glad I wrote it first.

Song: London After Midnight - The Bondage Song (Unchained Mix)

Tag List: @kit-williams, @druidwolf21

“I saw Him bestow His blessing upon His servants. Shining like a slashing sword. Bright as the vivid sun. They were gifted with His love and will. And the faithful servants rose from their knees, they abandoned their fear. And turned their weapons against His enemies. The battle was not yet over. Humanity will live. And it will fight for its Emperor.”

“It’s… so beautiful.” - all Luka could whisper, unable to stop looking at his Malina.

How delicately she held the book, how tenderly she whispered the stupid sermons of a stupid old man. How her lips, enchanting lips, moved. How she had to pause and her pink tongue gently outlined the flesh. And her face almost glowed.

He wants her. He wants her so much. Always. All the time. All eternity.

“Yes, the sermons of Saint Ignatius are my favorite.” - the naive girl smiled happily, not understanding that the man was not talking about them at all. - “Unfortunately, I didn’t have a personal book at home, I had to listen to them in church. But thanks to you, Luka,  I finally have one. Thank you.”

“Y-your welcome.” - the man hesitated awkwardly, trying not to blush. If his dear love continued to praise him, then he would have to leave the quarters as soon as possible. He had few ways to calm down. Most often, he had to use his hand.

Well, and last time, due to an excess of emotions (she, with tears in her eyes, kissed him on the cheek with joy when he gave her this stupid book!), he had to go to the lower levels and eat a child. It was delicious, but Luka loved children and therefore cried for a long time after eating. But then he was able to pull himself together and go back. To find his beauty sitting on his bed and waiting for him.

She wanted to read to him. To him~

“There was no point in learning to read on the agri-world, but I had a very smart uncle.” - the girl whispered, involuntarily remembering the past. - “Apart from Ignatius’s sermons, I adored the romance novel about the Sister of Battle and the guardsman. To tell the truth, it was banned for obvious reasons, but my uncle managed to get a copy. Huh, only now do I realize that we behaved like heretics.”

Luka just laughed at this story. It’s even a pity that they almost mowed down half the population of her home world. Judging by the girl’s stories, they were not fanatics at all.

After all, maybe he lied to Malina that he served the Imperium. But the fact that he saved her was not a lie. She is a young girl dreaming of a beautiful and pure love (and she will get it with him). But the bastards from the Inquisition would have burned her alive even for this innocent desire.

They never listen. Never try to compromise, to forgive those who stumbled. To forgive those who did not even break the law. Who simply wanted to survive and used all the resources, even if they were still alive and begged him not to do it. But the Imperium itself says that everyone must carry out their duty. And Luka was the best in his squad, he should have survived.

His brothers ended up in his stomach for a reason. It was their duty.

"But in my defense, I skipped the raunchiest parts." - The girl giggled, clutching the book to her before jerking it away. - "Oh, I guess that's not something I should talk about while reading Saint Ignatius."

Naive, sweet, gentle Malina. Only his, his love, his salvation. His angel~

“Saint Ignatius?” Virgil suddenly entered the room, abruptly interrupting their wonderful solitude with a question. Confusion was written on his face.

“Yes, Saint Ignatius. His sermons were often held in my church. He valued peace more, but also participated in battles. They say he died an honorable death in one of the battles near Milestorm. Or rather, he disappeared, but our clergy are sure that if he is not fighting, then he is feasting near the God-Emperor.”

Vergil, who was listening attentively to the girl, stood for some time with a thoughtful expression on his face. Before bursting out laughing. Luka thought about shutting the freak up, but changed his mind as soon as the frightened Malina pressed herself against him. Yes, that’s better, closer…

“Good propaganda in the Imperium. Or rather, good training.” - the man smiled sarcastically before lying down on the bed. He was still laughing. - "Feasting near the God-Emperor."

It was really funny. And Luka wanted to laugh too and even go tell the crew about the noble fighter Ignatius. But the look of the upset girl stopped him. The lamenter slowly ran his hand through the girl's dark hair. She immediately looked at him.

He wanted to devour her.

"Do you want to pray?"

Malina prayed. Luka told her that he did it silently. Since he had something to say to the Corpse on Throne (for example, that chemotherapy of the Astartes was the most idiotic decision and his former brothers are pathetic). But he just watched the girl with her eyes closed, pressing her hands to her forehead.

"Sure," - a soft, trusting smile blossomed on her lips.

He loves her so much.

***

Baphomet was disappointed when Virgil asked him for a safe sleeping pill. Not the kind that makes the victim have nightmares and make their eyes pop out of their sockets. Not a drug that makes the flesh boil like meat on burning oil.

He had to explain for a very long time what he wanted. But the main thing is that the disappointed apothecary still gave him the remedy he needed, which the girl took along with the fruit drink. And looking at how soundly she was sleeping, the man understands that his suffering in the stuffy office was worth it.

Malina was quietly snoring, burying her face in her soft pillow. Her eyelashes were gently trembling. Saliva was almost ready to fall from her lips. Virgil wanted to get it out. Which he probably did when he stuck his black tongue into her pink mouth.

Luka insisted that they not touch Malina ahead of time. To give her time to assimilate, get used to the new home, get used to them. She is not a temporary pleasure, she will be with them forever. And if earlier Virgil reluctantly endured, now he himself was ready to wait. The girl is either a psyker or a saint of the Corpse on the Throne, she was able to awaken tender feelings in him.

But while she sleeps, the space marine could at least indulge himself a little. He did not penetrate her, did not even use her tights. He just looked. This was the first time he decided to use her mouth. Apparently, the leader's words excited him too much.

“The next target is the forge world of Hephaestus-VI. Huron Blackheart intends to get as many weapons as possible and is not averse to reining in the Imperials. Two in one. The battle will be hard, but that's part of the fun, isn't it?”

The laughter that followed throughout the war hall confirmed his words.

“And then we will have a feast.”

A feast. A feast. Rivers of blood and meat, moans and cries of supplication, excesses and temptations, a reward after no less delightful slaughter, genocide. All this was soon awaiting him. And Bacchus, pleased with a slightly calmer Virgil and finally controlled Luka, not only allowed him to take the second one with him (Luka was glad like a child). But also allowed him to take Malina.

“I would never have believed in my life that all you two need is a wet cunt.”

No. Virgil and Luka only needed Malina. Although he would never say this out loud while everyone was awake. Only when they were asleep, when they became vulnerable. Only then could Virgil give free rein to his hidden feelings.

The quiet moan that escaped the lips of the sleeping girl sent shivers down the man's spine. He was too carried away. The man stuck his mouth out, allowing the girl to gulp air before attacking her lips again.

Licking her teeth clean and sucking in the saliva that had collected in his mouth. Playing with the limp tongue that was not only unable to resist, but even able to keep up with him. He just wanted to devour her.

Virgil, restraining himself from pushing his tongue further down her throat, sucked on the girl's lips, swollen from kisses. Enjoying that she was in his hands. Enjoying control. Dominance. Her submission and quietness.

Malina doesn't even realize what kind of monster is sitting above her. What it's doing to her body. That it's ready to tear apart anyone who dares to offend her. That he needed nothing but her beating red heart under her ribs.

Delicious, tasty little mortal. And all his.

"And what are you doing with her?"

Almost all his.

“Are you blind or do you need an explanation of what grown men do with pretty girls?” the furious traitor hissed. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to take her, I’m not an idiot. But there was no talk of kissing.”

“Too much. She’ll find out.” Luka’s blue eyes glittered furiously. His pupils almost disappeared when he looked at her reddened lips. Virgil almost cringed. Crazy bastard.

“Just tell her it’s all about the fruit drink and she’ll believe it.” Virgil relaxed as he saw Luka calm down. “Hah, and I almost thought you were worried about me stealing her first kiss. Do you really not love her as much as you said?”

The silence that followed the question and the scarlet cheeks were the best answer.

“Well, well, and he's accusing me.” - the man scratched his bald head irritably, trying to hide his disappointment in everything concerning Malina. The first one would always be the lamenter. - “And when?”

“When we brought her to the ship. I pecked her.” - Luka shrugged his shoulders as if nothing had happened.

“But I had a tongue!” - boyish joy almost overwhelmed the former flesh tearer, but quickly dissipated.

“I didn’t want to rush things on the first day. With the tongue, it was on the seventh night.” - the boy’s pale, freckled face turned red like a tomato, and his eyes sparkled. - “It lasted two seconds, but it was magical.”

A cheeky, cunning, stupid puppy. He made up the rules himself, but still breaks them. And yet, Bacchus was right. Only with the appearance of Malina did Luka become more manageable. If before he was simply the best warrior, now he got the opportunity not only to be the first to board, but also to enter the main halls of the Feast. Taking the girl away from him would be simply blasphemy in the opinion of the entire crew.

“It doesn’t matter, the first kiss will only count when she’s conscious. Eurydice reported we’ll be arriving on Hephaestus VI soon. And then there’ll be a feast. Bacchus said to bring Malina. Perhaps it’s the perfect time to finally make her ours.”

“Yes… she’ll be mine soon.” Luka whispered almost blessedly, ignoring Virgil. Bastard. So be it. He was only going to touch the girl when she was asleep anyway. No great loss.

For now, they needed to prepare for the massacre.

***

Luka and Virgil had strictly forbidden Malina to leave the quarters. Even on the very first day. But they reminded her of the rules again when they left the ship. As Luka said, Hephaestus-VI was attacked by heretics and they, the faithful servants of the God-Emperor, came to the rescue.

As he says.

The battle promised to last a long time. Therefore, they prepared everything necessary for the girl. If for some reason the operation lasted longer than expected, then she only needed to press a button. And then they would bring her food. The main thing is to hide in the bath.

But as Virgil said, putting the device on the shelf, this would only happen if all the food ran out. And there was enough of it in the quarters to live well and healthy for a whole month. So the girl hoped not to meet other inhabitants of the ship.

Two weeks had already passed.

It was hard to admit, but Malina realized that she missed them. It didn't mean that she wasn't afraid of them. She still was and would be. But over the time she spent with them (a month or two?) she had gotten used to them. They protected her.

Virgil was a monster, but he never dared to hurt her. He hardly spoke to her. If he had dark desires for her, he kept them deep inside. In the darkest night, when she couldn't see him.

And Luka... he loved her. He loved her. He cared for her. And even if Malina knew that the smell of blood followed him. And even if she didn't know his worst side. But she saw his smile. Cute freckles and blue eyes. Blue as the sky of her home world.

They were a new home in every sense of the word.

A sudden crash pulled the girl out of her thoughts. Malina looked at the door with fear. She heard moans and sighs coming from the hallway. But it was not like before. Not those distant screams that haunted her in distant nightmares.

Someone was right behind the door.

She should stay inside. She should hide in the bathtub. Turn on the water and take a shower. Wait for the sounds to fade. Wait for it to go away. But Malina's legs wouldn't obey. She followed the words pouring out of the mouth of... a man? Yes, it was a man.

He sounded like a boy. But old enough to join the army. Old enough and educated enough to know and memorize not just a prayer. But a sermon of the saints. And Malina herself knew that sermon quite well for her status.

It was the sermon of Saint Ignatius.

“And, ah, I saw, I saw the Saint herself. Descended from heaven at His call. And her light f-f-filled me. My soul sang. And I understood that H-His w-will is still, s-still, ah, s-still…”

“Strong,” the girl finished, pressing herself against the door. Malina herself did not notice how she did it.

“Not strong. Hard. Wait. W-what? W-who is there? Y-you here?” - Hearing the girl moan, the man pressed himself harder against the door, judging by the sounds. Scarlet blood slowly seeps over the threshold, forming a tiny puddle. - “Y-you believe in the God-Emperor? They also captured you? Are you safe?”

“Y-yes.” - the captive felt her heart beat with anxiety. But Luke and Virgil continued to play the defenders of the Imperium with her. She had no need to lie, no need.

“Oh, I thought, I-, ah, oh,” the man on the other side of the door was gasping for breath. With every sound he made, he was becoming more and more afraid. Malina realized that the prisoner was looking around. As if he was being followed. - “P-please, open the door for me. I-I was tortured. I-I, d-don’t even know how I c-could get out.”

Malina stared at the huge iron door. At that moment, it looked gigantic. The girl had never felt so small as at that moment. So defenseless. But she was protected. They were taking care of her. She just had to stay inside.

“C-can you hear me? H-help me.” - the man’s voice trembled. He was crying.

“I-I can’t. I can’t.” - the girl whispered, moving away from the gates leading to hell, back to her bed. Maybe this was a test? They wanted to make sure Malina was behaving well? She's good. She's very good, she won't open the door. Mom said not to talk to strangers.

Luke and Virgil will be angry.

"P-please open the door, they're close. P-please." The man was openly crying, weakly knocking on the door.

Sitting down by the bed, the girl only pressed her head closer to her knees, covering her ears. If only not to hear his pleas. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she prayed. But not to the God-Emperor. Not to the forces of Chaos. She just wanted Luka and Virgil to return to her quickly. The boy’s sobs and the girl's were almost in sync. Then the sound of feet was heard. And a nasty human laugh.

"No, no, no. Don't touch me, no. GOD-EMPEROR!"

But the God-Emperor did not answer his prayers. The boy continued to scream as people like him carried him away. All that was left was a pool of blood. And a girl crying in the dark. Who could not save him. Only delay the inevitable.

But she could save herself.

***

"Hey, hey, what happened?" - Luka gently stroked the back of the crying girl, who immediately threw herself into his arms. Not paying attention to his bloody armor from the battle.

Vergil, just like the lamenter, looked at Malina in surprise, clinging to the golden armor. He threw the bag with trophies and gifts for the girl on his bed before starting to take off his armor.

"There was a man here. He said that he served the God-Emperor. He said that he was being tortured by heretics." - The girl, with red eyes from tears, looked at Luka, not noticing his frightened expression. - "I didn't believe him! I didn't open the door. Angel, I was so scared."

The men looked at the poor girl, unable to utter a word. Was this the blessing of the Four Gods or the God-Emperor himself? No. But the red corsairs knew that they were incredibly lucky with Malina. No one would replace her.

"Everything is fine, everything is fine. The bastard has already been taken to prison. You did well not to let him in." - the blond tenderly grinned, stroking the girl's hair. At that moment, he could hardly be called an angel. - "We are proud of you."

"Yes." - Virgil exhaled. - "Good girl."

That day, they restrained themselves and allowed the girl to fall asleep quietly on her bed. The feast was approaching. They could wait a little longer.

[woodchipp]

1) Sunny's friends just list the jobs they had to take to crowdfund the violin instead of the game showing that via flashbacks and whatnot.

OMORI's the name, infodumping's the game!

2)

"And MARI and I took a job at the bakery for a while, if you remember."

I do not. This cutscene is the only time the game brings up any of you took a job.

By the way, "if you remember" implies that Sunny wouldn't remember his own sister getting a job, which is just. lmao. Well, either that or he didn't care about her and his friends suddenly working their asses off for no reason in particular, hence the need for a reminder.

1) Again, none of this was shown beforehand. You learn all that before the final boss fight via an infodump. peak writing

2) I'd like to note the player is never told what Sunny really wanted for that Christmas, or whether he wanted anything in the first place. The phrasing consequently implies his friends decided to buy him a violin because they assumed he'd appreciate such a gift and didn't take his opinion into consideration.

I'd feel bad for the kid if he wasn't a huge asshole himself.

3)

"It's been a while since you quit playing the violin."

We were never told Sunny used to play the violin before he was gifted one. Why did he quit? Why did his friends think he'd appreciate being gifted a violin if they knew he quit playing it for whatever reason?

This game has an allergy to elaborating on any plot points that would flesh out the plot and the characters, istg.

1) Sunny doesn't even try to thank his friends for such a heartfelt gift. He's a wonderful person, don't you think?

(Making him a silent protagonist was a terrible choice.)

2) There's no way to infer what his reaction to the violin is. He has no body language here. For all I know, he could be staring at it like "😐"

"You didn't want to disappoint them. Because they were your friends."

1) Given the implications outlined above, Sunny only seeing the violin as a means to spend more time with his sister and being annoyed at having to practice it, "You didn't want to disappoint them" reads less as him being scared to screw up and more as him accepting the gift just to appear polite.

2) There would be no need to tell me they're his friends if any of the main characters actually behaved like friends, you know.

[austinslounge]

The PR anon is back(I’m just going to call myself that from now on). I wanted to clarify some things.

First, Zoë/Channing breakup. We all know who the real cheater in this relationship is. Ironically, Kaia claims that she’s queer and doesn’t miss an opportunity to make out or get too handsy with other women. Btw, when she was dating Elordi, she was behaving the same way. There are pics of her that look like she’s kissing Cara’s neck while still dating Jacob. Anyway, back to Zoë. General public is not that invested in Austin as we are. For them, if the breakup article comes out this month, it will look like two people starring in Caught Stealing suddenly end their relationships one after another. I’ve seen people talk about Austin/Zoë kiss on set without realizing that it’s acting. It also doesn’t help that some people project traits of the characters onto the actors(sometimes even subconsciously). So, if both Austin and Zoë end their relationships in a short period of time, while playing lovers on screen, it won’t look good. People who are speculating right now are the minority, but still, I understand that if a breakup has already happened it’s safer to delay it a bit.

There is also a blind item, which cannot be trusted, but I want to mention it because I haven’t seen anyone talk about it even in this fandom. It is from the YouTube podcast “Blinded by the item” Zoë/Channing episode from October 30th. ”Yesterday’s announcement was just first shoot to drop. The A- list offspring actress has gone a little too method with her current role and that is going to break up another relationship, this time with an A- list model/actress and an A list actor”. I don’t know where they take these blind items, probably from Crazy Days and Nights, which is not credible at all. It’s like flipping a coin, sometimes they get it sometimes they don’t. But yeah, this is total bullshit, there is no way in hell Kaia is an A-lister🤣. This blind item doesn’t mean anything, just laugh at it and forget. But anyway, not letting two couples from Caught Stealing break up while shooting is a smart strategy.

Next, the instagram story of Austin drinking beer(He was drinking Corona, it is beer, I assume?). After the GA concert, a lot of people were talking about it, but no one has the clip itself, because apparently Kaia deleted it very quickly. I assume either this is true, because a lot of people were talking about it, and the detail that Austin was drinking Corona specifically, so someone must have recognized the brand, or someone made this whole thing up and other picked up on it. Either way, it’s not that important, because Kaia never posted anything with Austin for whatever reasons. I was always wondering, why Kaia can’t just post an instagram story with Austin in the background or something? This would be a better damage control than any forced pap walk. I mean, you two “live together” and “spend your free time in private” blah, blah, blah. Will one story or pic be such a violation of privacy? This is not giving “private relationship”, it’s bordering on paranoia at this point. There are plenty of celebrity couples that are private, but don’t avoid each other at all costs like these two. Austin obviously, doesn’t post anything at all, but Kaia on the other hand is very active, she posts everyone(except Austin).

It’s interesting that their teams used Page Six for damage control, when they had to shout down engagement rumors they used TMZ. TMZ and People are used for the most important statements, they are usually the ones celebrities use to announce breakups, pregnancies, engagement etc. Tabloids like L&S, Daily Mail are good for spreading rumors, making questionable statements or writing 10 articles a day about meaningless pap walks. Page Six seems to stand somewhere in between. Celebs use it to buy some time and do damage control, as it’s not complete garbage, but not a totally reputable source either. I genuinely can’t understand why couldn’t their teams send an article to TMZ again? Breakup rumors are more serious than engagement rumors(Both started by Deux Moi by the way). Why can’t they send another “going strong” article to People like they did in May? Maybe because TMZ or People would shut down break up rumors once and for all, unlike Page Six.

If they have already broken up, there could be several reasons why they are delaying an official statement. Zoë/Channing break up is just my assumption, it can be the main reason, one of the reasons, or not the reason at all. We don’t know what their teams are planning behind closed doors. Everything is too strange, I just want Kaia Gerber to go away, but overall I’m completely calm, if they aren’t broken up now, they 100% will eventually. Of course, I want it to happen sooner rather than later, because I’m so tired of the shippers and Gerber baby nonsense.

Like I said previously, doing pap walks after DM article is just complete madness. Even though, subconsciously I’m ready for forced pap funeral walks. Just please, spear us the Cabo photos, they are too awful.

Hey PR Anon! 😁

In answer to your comments:

Yea, Kaia's behavior has just been really strange ever since this whole Kaustin relationship in general, but certainly even more so this year. I mean, is kissing someone else in the lips considered cheating? 👀 Because if so, then she's "cheated" multiple times. She's queer, soooo.... Imo that's like Austin kissing another girl (even one who's just a "friend") on the lips. Most would consider that cheating on Kaia.

But when Kaia does it -- 🤔

Btw, when she was dating Elordi, she was behaving the same way. There are pics of her that look like she’s kissing Cara’s neck while still dating Jacob.

Did she? 🤔 Because I was following the Jakaia relationship pretty closely back then, and I actually never saw Kaia behaving like that with other women when she was with Jacob. Keep in mind too that it was during covid, so there probably just weren't that many events and parties being held and photographed during that time. She and Jacob seemed pretty joined at the hip.

I know that prior to dating Jacob however, Kaia was getting pretty close to Cara 👀, but that was all before she and Jacob officially got together around August/September 2020.

You may have to share some receipts with me Anon, because I don't recall Kaia behaving like that with Cara while she was dating Jacob.

Anyway, back to Zoë. General public is not that invested in Austin as we are. For them, if the breakup article comes out this month, it will look like two people starring in Caught Stealing suddenly end their relationships one after another. I’ve seen people talk about Austin/Zoë kiss on set without realizing that it’s acting. It also doesn’t help that some people project traits of the characters onto the actors(sometimes even subconsciously). So, if both Austin and Zoë end their relationships in a short period of time, while playing lovers on screen, it won’t look good. People who are speculating right now are the minority, but still, I understand that if a breakup has already happened it’s safer to delay it a bit.

I definitely agree with you here. Even if everything is totally innocent, you're right, the optics wouldn't look good atm.

If Austin and Kaia broke up already, it has not been a good time to announce a breakup. She's been busy promoting LS, SNL, and some other film of hers, he's been busy filming Caught Stealing, then there was the whole Marcello thing, so any announcement around that time would have made her look like a cheater, then, Austin's costar Zoe broke up with her fiancé Channing, etc. It's just been a crazy mess lol 😆

If they have already broken up, there could be several reasons why they are delaying an official statement. Zoë/Channing break up is just my assumption, it can be the main reason, one of the reasons, or not the reason at all. We don’t know what their teams are planning behind closed doors.

I totally agree. 💯

Everything is too strange, I just want Kaia Gerber to go away, but overall I’m completely calm, if they aren’t broken up now, they 100% will eventually. Of course, I want it to happen sooner rather than later, because I’m so tired of the shippers and Gerber baby nonsense.

Girl, same!

Like I said previously, doing pap walks after DM article is just complete madness. Even though, subconsciously I’m ready for forced pap funeral walks. Just please, spear us the Cabo photos, they are too awful.

Oh gosh, PLEASE not another Gerber Family Christmas vacation in Cabo! 😭😭🤣

[kanene-yaaay]

Lending a Helping Hand (Tickletober Day 1)

Kanene's Notes: I wrote this on a whim, not gonna lie jhgtfdefghjdfgh. For some reason I suddenly felt compelled to participate of this lovely even so here I am! I am following both @/august-anon tickletober list and @/Jamiedraws mxtxtober list because I wanted to see what would come out of mixing those two together juygtfghjdcfgh I think most of my stories will be about mdzs so it seemed fitting :D Anyways, Day 1 - "Ghost" and "Antecipation".

Warnings: This is an AU. Ticklish!Jingyi and Ler!Wei Wuxian. Around 1.500 words.

[~*~]

The Patriarch Yiling was a devious monster, an empty shell of what had been once considered a man but now was known for atrocities beyond human comprehension. The sects still shivered at his name, parents used his story to make their children behave and other demonic cultivators dreamed of following his path, in archiving and surpassing the amount of power he once had. Every book that talked about The War talked of him. 

(But Hanguang Jun didn’t. He cut down every gossiping and always reminded them to have a critical mind when it came about the stories of one being told by another.)

But (almost) everyone could agree, he was a monster, and it was naive, crazy, even to believe you could win against him.

Jingyi was about to discover how crazy it was.

"Senior Wei!" He squirmed and ordered his hands to move, voice already trembling around the corners and getting a squeaky turn. It was all for nothing, just like before his own arms no longer answered him. Hysterical snickers began falling from his lips. "Stohohop! Why me?!"

"Well, you offered!" the ghost smiled and moved his hands towards him and with a scared kind of curiosity he watched as his own hands mirrored his move, wiggling fingers perfectly mirroring the older one in every mischievous twitch, getting closer until it was barely touching his clothes, still. The clear promise of a tickle attack made shivers run like electricity through his nerves. "Aiya, Jingyi! So young and your memory is betraying you already? Don’t you remember how you came to me so excited this morning, saying you wanted to help experimenting with my new ideas?"

Jingyi half groaned and half giggled. In his defense, it was very hard to try to remember something when a single finger decided to poke his ribs and make him dance from a side to another like he was performing the silliest of the dances. "Senior Wei!"

"Almost! Now repeat that but with less I-am-about-to-get-destroyed-by-ghost-tickles feeling. Don’t worry, I’ll help you remember.” Then, the ghost started doing a high pitched voice that sounded nothing like him. Jingyi would be bristling in protest if the (his?) hands found the horribly ticklish spot right next to his stomach and was trying to pinch it senseless. “'Senior Wei, Senior Wei! My classes have been canceled, can you believe? I can stay here with you the entire day!'" 

“This is not…” hs snorted and started to squirm even more, feeling himself slip more and more into titters. “Behehihing tickled to death was nohohot what I-I meheheant!"

Wei Wuxian chuckled mischievously, very much proud to realize that not even death took away his amazing tickling and teasing skills. He spent years honing it to perfect, afterall. “You should’ve been more clear, then. Or are you going back on your word, now? Tsk Tsk, and here I thought that the Lans prided themselves in their honor and fairness. Leaving a poor ghost here all alone, denying him his last wishes of experimenting and being happy before we part our ways. Refusing to even help me for a single day… Sniff. Where has the compassion gone in this new generation?"

Jingyi stomped his feet on the floor, protesting. The effect of it was dimmed by the giant smile going from ear to ear in his face. The hands now decided to “walk” with two fingers up and down his ribs, making his nerves dance with the anticipation and light tickling

"Y-you’re not going awahahay. And I can’t spend the entire day like this, stohohohop tickling me!"

“Tickling? I would never!” Wei Wuxian gasped and pulled his hands a few inches away from his skin, wiggling them in front of his face and giving the whole “ghost tickles” a new meaning as Jingyi squeaked and kept giggling uncontrollably, almost feeling this wiggling touch back on his torso. “See? I am not even touching you and you are still laughing, that has nothing to do with me.”

“I am nehehever-” his face was starting to get hot, looking at the playful way Senior Wei looked at him with a merciless grin definitely didn’t help. The more the older one kept poking, playing, teasing him, the more he felt that he would crumble in the very moment the actual tickling started. “nehehever helping yohohour experiments agahain.”

"Aw, but you must, Jingyi! Aren't you excited to know what will happen? Who will win, your natural defenses or my attack? Shizui, Don't you think it's an important research to know if ghosts can make you tickle yourselves?"

"It's not!" Jingyi's protesting words disappeared in a shriek when his hands pretended to lunge to his body, clawing, only to stop to hover above his belly. More uncontrollable, protesting giggles fell like a waterfall from his mouth. "Thahahat's stupid. Shihihihihizui, tell him!"

Shizui, like the good, righteous kid he was, pretended he heard nothing of their banter and kept feeding the rabbits hopping around him. When Wei Wuxian turned away snickering and twirling around Jingyi teasingly, he sent his friend an apologetic smile.

Wei Wuxian continued with plenty of mirth and dramatics. Delighted as always to be free to exercise his pranking rights. "Is that how you talk with your seniors? Lan Jingyi, what would Hanguang-Jun say?"

"He wohohohould protect me!"

"Would he, now? So where's your Hanguang-Jun, huh? To take you out of the evil Patriarch Yilling’s claws."

“Nohohot evil. Stohohop it.”

Wei Wuxian’s grin softened, for a moment. Then he lightened up once more. “Maybe I could even tickle him when he appears! It would take me much more energy but can you imagine? Is Hanguang Jun even ticklish? Have you ever seen he gig-" The ghost stopped as if he had been his, going from looking thoughtful for a moment then startled and embarrassed. If Jingyi didn't know him better, he could say a flash of hunger appeared in his eyes. Probably he was already going crazy because of the antecipation, though.

"Anyway!" He clapped his hands and Jigyi's own followed his moves. He tried once more squirm free from it, but it was impossible to concentrate his qi enough to push away the... possession? Control? Whatever this was before Wei Wuxian got a hold of it once again.

A loud squeal flew from his mouth when a finger poked too close his bellybutton, and he immediately descended in stronger giggling. 

The smirk that opened in Wei Wuxian face was positively evil. 

"I think we found a good spot." He sing-songed, the finger started circling his bellybutton, lightly scribbling the trembling skin around it, pulling guffaws that stopped him from pulling his belly away from the ticklish touch. Everytime it tried to twitch away, the finger would poke and poke and poke the button until he was too distracted to protest. “Sehehehenior Wei, wait!”

For a blissful second, he did.

Somewhere near, someone was letting out the most high pitched, half disparate and half joyful laughter. Jingyi felt his entire body want to run away, to squirm and trash and laugh with all the energy he was holding still. Only when he opened one eye to look at the floating ghost in front of him and his childhood friend smiling softly in the background did he realize he was the one responsible for these sounds. 

A silly snort intertwined in his laughter.

Wei Wuxian tapped a finger on his lips, pensative.

“Should I? Should I wait a bit more?” The finger scraped the tiniest bit on the walls of his bellybutton and Jingyi jumped on the same place, nodding and giggling and snorting and making himself stand still so the tickling wouldn’t be worse. “Hmmm, let me think about it…”

The finger kept light touches, soft tickles grazing the horribly ticklish skin. Jingyi shook his head at it.

Until it finally stopped.

A breath of air, his snickers were still filling the air.

Wei Wuxian tsked. “No. I don’t think I will.” 

And then attacked. 

(Shrieking, mirthful laughter danced in the air.)

[~*~]

Something something wat if Lan Wangji palyed Inquiry and Wei Wuxian answered something something what if he became closer to Shizui and Jingyi and watched and helped them as they grew up something something what if those 13 years of waiting were filled with his laughter and love something something.

[godduh]

Dennis Reynolds - Character Analysis as the Fragmenting Self

Please read this disclaimer / introduction post first

Word Count: 1,134 Read Time: 5 minutes

Next on Kohut’s list is the Fragmenting self, which I believe can be best viewed through Dennis. Kohut describes how the act of “fragmenting” is one everyone experiences; after a long period of low self-esteem or exhaustion, it’s likely for anyone to become discoordinated and think negatively about themselves. The difference between the average person and a fragmented individual is that it takes much less to fragment them. For example, we can empathise with the fact that being told by someone close to you that your face looks fat could hurt your feelings, but in Dennis we see him take this hit very personally, taking extreme measures to seek validation and empathy by starving himself to make his face appear thinner.

It’s important to note that while a fragmenting individual will fragment over a small thing, they may only act out emotionally to garner empathy; however, we see over and over how Dennis’ self-worth and self-esteem is heavily tied to his appearance & what those around him think of him, and when he finds he is not perceived as beautifully or as perfectly as he perceives himself, he fragments to a disproportionate extreme.

Kohut goes on to describe how if a fragmented individual is rejected or rebuffed in some way, no matter how minor, they may feel a deep loss of the sense of continuity they feel within themselves. We see how Dennis starts to question his integrity and behaviour when he receives low ratings after his dates in “The Gang Group Dates” (S10E02). He repeatedly tries to justify the low rating, projecting the reasoning onto everyone but himself whilst actively ignoring his terrible behaviour that is garnering the rating, until he sees his own past behaviour of rating his dates reflected in Dee. This brings him to completely question his behaviour and morals and he destroys his sex tapes, which have been a staple for his character for at least 6 seasons at this point in the show, and attempts to garner empathy and validation from a source he knows will give it to him when he asks, regardless of how much he dislikes her: the Waitress.

Upon finding the Waitress empathetic but unable to help, he decides the only way to regain control is to act as if approval no longer means anything to him, but when he finds that Dee, Frank, Mac and Charlie have all also failed in their romantic exploits he regains his footing as he is able to feel like he is above all of their missteps and that he is, once again, better than all of them. Until, of course, Frank reveals he has a 0-star rating, the small, insignificant thing that caused Dennis to fragment in the first place, which causes him to have one final fragmentation (or in this case, breakdown).

Kohut finally denotes that a fragmented individual is likely to have hypochondriacal ideologies about their body; specifically the kind that appear when fragmenting and suddenly disappear when some form of empathy is shown. We see almost the exact opposite behaviour from Dennis; he is completely disillusioned with his health, making completely drastic and unrealistic decisions to keep himself “healthy”. He tells Mac he no longer eats lunch and sometimes not breakfast just to keep himself looking young, and also mentions being incredibly tense all the time as a mechanism that helps his body stay fit. He is completely shocked when the doctor reveals his plethora of health issues, but instead of trying to garner empathy from Mac as Kohut describes, they ultimately decide to eat Chimichangas and buy crack. This is an example of Dennis thinking that by simply believing what he is doing is healthy, it is. He has control, and is, in his eyes, healthier than Mac, meaning he is better than him.

We also see how Dennis begins to behave when he is actually unwell. We are given three examples of Dennis being unwell; in “The Gang Gets Quarantined” (S09E07) we see Dennis actively denying his illness until he seemingly cannot ignore it anymore. We also see him get COVID during the Ireland episodes, but specifically in “The Gang’s Still in Ireland” (S15E06) we see how not only does Dennis vehemently deny his illness, he also begins to lash out at Dee, going as far as attempting to murder her. While we should take this with a grain of salt due to Dennis’ delusional state, we can still see how his first instinct is to push Dee away rather than attempt to garner empathy from her.

We also see him get sick when Mac is poisoning Dennis in “The Gang Chokes” (S14E03), where this behaviour is repeated again. Dennis continues to insist he is healthy and refuses a large amount of the help Mac offers him throughout the episode, however we see a small difference in that Dennis allows himself to be perceived as weak when it directly benefits him; we see him allowing Mac to carry him out of the basketball court, make “protein shakes” for him, and rely on him for information he is completely capable of knowing, such as his own allergies and whether there is to be pollen in the air that particular day. He continues to demean Mac as to not allow Mac to think he has any control over Dennis, and berates him for being so reliant on him despite the fact that he continues to rely on Mac as he gets sicker (by Mac’s hand). I believe Dennis’ lack of hypochondriacal behaviour is likely his need to be in control trumping his urge to gain empathy however possible. It’s interesting to note that Dennis is only shown attempting to gain empathy and help for his illness from Mac; this could easily be a commentary on Dennis and Mac’s codependent behaviour that is repeatedly pointed out throughout the show, further affirmed by his completely opposing behaviour towards Dee in the same circumstance.

While it seems hypocritical to describe Dennis as fragmenting when he shows completing opposing behaviour in his view of his body, we only really see this behaviour in any of the gang in “Charlie Gets C*****d” (S02E01), where we see every member of the gang fake some form of disability for personal gain; while Charlie is the only member who isn’t faking his injury, he still continues to attempt to use it to gain the attention of the women at the strip club, and also tries to increase his sympathetic attention by pretending to also be an army veteran. The concept of fragmenting itself I believe is best illustrated by Dennis’ incredibly fragile self image and need to be perceived as strong, beautiful, desirable and in control by everyone he meets and knows, and his reactions to having this view of himself rebuffed.

Find the other character analyses below:

Charlie - The Understimulated Self Mac - The Overstimulated Self Dee - The Overburdened Self

[1narticulat3]

My Rules When Writing

So I'm back! I'm starting to get back into writing currently editing what I have for the fourth time as I get back to my routine so I figured I could share some of my personal "rules" or things I try to avoid or stick to when writing.

One of my more niche rules is avoiding what I call the "Princess Pink Void Effect" which came from this super random theory I saw which in summary is that the only time we see all the Disney princesses together in merchandise they are always in this pink void all staring at the viewer and do no acknowledge or interact with eachother. And in a way I've used this as trying to remind myself to have characters truly interact and react to eachother not always to "progress" the plot but because they're people that are around eachother. It's easy to forget especially side or background characters that are there and only having them respond to what's happening when it helps push the plot so I always try to remember pink princess void and that sometimes interactions don't have to be for any purpose other than that they're people.

Of course I am making sure my book PASSES the bechdel test, there will be female characters and they will interact and they will have substanant conversations that aren't all about men.

I completely refuse to ever have 2D character's that only appear to serve to progress the plot then dissappear or have simple one sided personalities, I spend A LOT of time planning out character's that aren't always in the story very long and a lot of history/background behind them that majority of which won't be even discussed in the book but it helps me better understand how these characters behave and react and better write them as actual people rather then one flat personality.

Trauma that's discussed in one chapter for the angst and suddenly disappears and is never brought up again. I hate when this happens in books simply because you can always tell later when it's never brought in again is that it was only ever brought up for convenience in the moment and the plot holes surrounding them always bother me.

Adjacent to that is killing off characters for absolutely no reason. Too many authors (in my opinion) kill off characters so evidently just to either make readers emotional or because the character no longer is important to the plot and rather than continuing to write them they just kill them off because it's easier. I just personally feel it's lazy writing and there are MANY better ways to make readers emotional or handle passive characters that no longer function in the plot. If/when I kill off characters it's to progress the plot, the characters and or the world building, otherwise if I see no purpose or productivity behind killing a character I won't (and most certainly no Divergent endings for those who understand)

One universal culture, I have put in A LOT of work behind the scenes figuring out the different cultures, lifestyles and even biology behind the book it will definitely be rich in the sense you will see many different cultures and diversity in the book with some influence from our worlds cultures of course but also it's own fantastical twist given it's a fantasy book if course, they aren't meant to directly represent any specific cultures or situations in our world so if the political environment at times resembles any in our world it's not done directly on purpose while I mean it to resemble our world in a way I am not trying to resemble specific countries or governments rather more like what we've seen in many empires, civilizations and governments in both history and modern day.

And below I'm just going to list all the clichés and stereotypes I am also avoiding as much as possible-

"I'm sorry😔" "for what" *betrayal😨*

"What do we do now😰" woman moment

"Your not seriously considering this are you!?🤓"

Immediately being great at things they are amerters in

Always morally correct mc's

Forgiving bs in .2 seconds (especially if it's thr love interest)

Justifying being shitty because "they're traumatized🥺"

Mysterious hot guy who acts completely inappropriate and terrible but (again) it's ok because he's a "hot traumatized guy✨️"

tough hot mean hypermasculinated girl who deep down has a big heart (basically just clarrisse in the percy Jackson movie- no hate just personally dislike it)

[redstringraven]

Absolutely!! Adore!! Your enneagram analysis!! (Esp Don’s.. he’s my favorite ) I had a question on your though of the idea that Don’s “good genes” arc (including eps leading up to good genes) reflected Don’s mental health?

In a way that: SAINW happened, then final shredder, Leo’s season four arc. Then Leo’s gone, and his home is destroyed, doesn’t know where is brothers are at. And then it all very suddenly gets fixed, but I don’t know if he ever had time to process even SAINW.

thank you so much!! ;u; the fact y'all are reading them alone just makes me so happy and, in a way, relieved, and all the lovely tags and support have just... seriously can't thank y'all enough for taking the time. fist-bumps all around, warm snacks. for real, thank you, it means a lot. 🖤🌷

and i'm unsure that 'reflect' is the right word, more-so that it continues driving the idea that he's in the unhealthier end of his spectrum (enneagram-wise), stuck somewhere between 'average' and his stress-7 looming over his shoulder and breathing down his neck. had leo not gone to japan and started his healing process (sort of continuing the ripple effect across the family, only this time for the better) then we might have gotten into the 'reflecting' territory. because the mutagen that starts the outbreak was already leaking into the sewer system as early as s4ep9. outbreak (ep17) was coming whether leo healed or not.

i think, also, if don had behaved differently than other outbreak-mutants we saw, it might be a bit more leaning toward "reflection of mental health", but he doesn't really behave in a way that makes him stand out against the other mutants created from the outbreak. it's shocking to us because we know don, but in a line up with other outbreak-mutants... he's kinda just another one as far as behavior is concerned. maybe a bit more intelligent but not necessarily any more "acting with intent" or with a reason, if that makes sense?

throughout episodes 17 to 23, don is still very much willing to help those around him and extend his resources (not even just to a friend like april and her long-lost uncle but to the city by way of trying to find a solution to the outbreak), buuuuut he's also resistant to accepting help from others or acknowledging that he's struggling. and increasingly so. he's dismissive about the injury, he keeps downplaying his sickness as "just a cold" and pressing on. probably would have kept pressing on, had his brothers not finally been like.

... *turns the car around and heads to april's* no. [donatello ninja turtle is forcefully removed from the battleshell]

had leo continued spiraling, we might have gotten a version where don's second mutation might be more a reflection of where his head was at. but i think with leo returning on the mend, not only returning a sense of normality but maybe extending the kindness he learned to give to himself to his brothers, it helped level out the other three. don was healthy enough to continue sharing his time and energy, putting his focus on things that weren't his own projects or plans. ...but, yeah no, don could really use his own version of a trip to japan where he's allowed the time to process and talk about all the shit that happened to him. at his own pace and comfort, of course! but, jeebus. <xD if leo was doing the worst in season four, don was next in line.

you listed a pretty good amount of things that don's gone through, but there's two more that i think the fandom glosses over sometimes and that's: the potential survivor's guilt that comes with having left kirby behind in an alternate world (survivor's guilt doesn't only apply to loss of life) AND that he was. tortured. by zanramon and mozar. like. i kinda feel like those two just went and did some war crimes there. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i kinda. i kinda just. HM. zanramon is in custody now, so that's nice, but i'm just gonna casually and indulgently send nyxram to take care of mozar and all will be right-ish with the world.

uhjsfhjd i hope this answers your question!! thank you so much again for reading and also just sending me this ask! i appreciate it so much! and i hope you have a wonderful rest of your day/night!

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

2023 Movie Journey #7: Ant-Man And The Wasp: Quantumania

ant-man and the wasp: quantumania. wow, these titles just keep getting longer, huh. pretty soon they’re going to be listing every character in the name.

i saw this one in the theater, and saved the following as a note while i was waiting for it to start:

omg, i wondered why they recast cassie in the third movie with an actress that's much more prominent, featured in everything from big little lies to detective pikachu. and then very helpfully, while i'm waiting here, one of their pre-movie features was a game with the actress who will be starring soon in are you there god, it's me margaret...and she is the same actress who originally played cassie!! i didn't know that. so now I wonder if she had a scheduling conflict, rather than just getting replaced. that would be better imo since the actress who took over the role is great but i liked the original too and i don’t like when an actress is dumped from the role she originated for reasons like ‘we need somebody more well-known now that the role is more important’

gosh, i have a lot to say about this one i think. i always intended to watch the ant-man movies because they seemed fun, but it was the release of this one that got me to finally, actually do so. by the time it was coming out and jonathan majors was going to be the new antagonist and i was a huge fan of his (all things that weren’t true a couple of years ago) i was really happy to be able to catch up on the others and then see this one in the theater. and it was a great time. spoilers ahead.

ETA: i wrote this whole review, and saw this movie twice in theaters, only days before the news broke about jonathan majors being arrested. i have big, complicated feelings now about what he’s accused of and the consequences he’s faced versus how so many white men have been treated when they face similar accusations; about how it changed my opinion of him and destroyed my desire to see him in creed iii; about how talented an actor i still think he is and how much it sucks that people can be both talented and behave in ways that horrify me when i don’t even know them; how he was the beating heart of lovecraft country and i’d never seen a black man in a TV drama get to be that before, especially when surrounded by such a scene-stealing, strong cast; and how i may never be able to watch that series again, the same way i doubt i’ll ever rewatch this movie. but i reviewed this movie not knowing any of that yet, so my thoughts about him were true for that moment, and i’m leaving them in like a time capsule for my own experience.

it was NOT what i was expecting, though, so that made the first part of the movie really hard for me to get through--i was probably at least a third of the way in before i started enjoying it. there was just a ton of worldbuilding and what felt like a huge genre shift, from the action-comedy (with a hint of scifi) of the first two to suddenly a lot of scifi-fantasy. i couldn’t help being reminded of star wars, and how much the details of the whole ‘alien world’ part of it bore me, when i just want to watch carrie fisher exist. here, i was thrilled to see michelle pfeiffer have a much bigger role, but i didn’t need it to be happening inside a world we didn’t previously know existed in the ant-man universe, one where even the ants that had originally been the point were absent during all that worldbuilding.

however, i felt like the setup did pay off enough in the end that i enjoyed it, and i don’t think it would bother me so much in a rewatch. part of what had me so off-balance in the beginning is that each movie occurs inside the larger mcu with a huge time gap between ant-man installments, so they expect you to know what happened offscreen (they include minimal descriptions, but it can still be confusing as a standalone viewer) and the offscreen happenings create real effects on the story you’re jumping into. for example, knowing that the snap happened at the end of the last movie (and even knowing vaguely what the snap was) didn’t stop me from wondering what cassie’s life was like while the others were gone. was she raised by her mom, or were all the adults in her life vanished? if so, what happened then? i know i could try to look that up with mcu research but i wish instead it had been more directly a part of the movie since she was a more central character this time--or that there had been an ant-man movie that fit between this one and ant-man and the wasp, somehow.

but anyway, this movie was very clearly setting up a new antagonist, which they did by further developing the backstory of michelle pfeiffer’s time in the quantum realm. once i got into it, i enjoyed it a ton, because it meant a ton of screentime where she was working opposite jonathan majors, and all of those scenes felt like gifts just for me--they’re both so unbelievably talented and they’re also actors who can do such great dramatic work, it was hard for me to wrap my mind around them being in this marvel movie with all its action and cgi and creatures.

the family dynamics in this one were also important, and we got great interactions between the two couples, but it really did feel quite different than the first two movies, and i think that’s why--the ultimate focus of the story was kang, the new villain, even when it came to how scott’s burglar talents would be called into action. his sudden existence drove the action. i feel like my opinion was backed up by the very end of the movie, too, when the movie flashed a closing card like the first two had. that was one of my favorite little parts of the sequel, when the closing card added a question mark because the snap had left scott stranded and we would have to wait to see if he returned. but whereas the other ones ended with ‘ant-man will return’...this one ended with ‘kang will return.’ 

and i can understand why, since scott was left feeling uneasy about kang’s death but otherwise his life--and therefore his story--was neatly tied up. even if they bring him back for other mcu appearances, there’s no part of this movie that requires a next ant-man installment. which further points to how much of this film was an extended setup for kang to move on to other mcu battles, even though i think they fit it all into scott and hope’s families and lives and overall development well enough. 

there is one question i found myself left with after seeing this, that may have been explained in the movie--it was such a long movie with so much happening, i might have just forgot that they addressed it. but scott was stranded in the quantum realm for years after the snap. even though he was stranded for less years than michelle pfeiffer, i wonder why he never discovered any hint of the other worlds she roamed through? was it just that his suit tech kept him in one layer of that space, and she had moved through so many of them, she ended up in a place he couldn’t get to? did he just stay put and try not to move for five years and thus wouldn’t have seen anything? another thing i could probably research but won’t, lol. 

overall, i don’t think the ant-man world was necessarily improved by being moved to space (even if they call it the quantum realm)--but for me personally, that was heavily outweighed by my enjoyment of michelle pfeiffer and jonathan majors getting to fill the spaces they were in like the talents they are, and the rest of the characters and cast being just as great as always. living so intensely in this world for a couple of days really left an impression on me, but it was a super fun impression and i’m glad i visited.

[ardenla]

The circus

I short horror story I wrote:)

Word count: 1841

TW:

Once every year there is a circus in the town I live in, for the rest of the year nothing special really happens. But that is not the only reason why so many are anxious about its arrival.

I don't know everything about it, but even so it is a bit of a strange circus. It is a mandatory one and there is another strange rule: Those that have not seen it are not allowed to watch.

So basically a lot of people sit together with their eyes closed, listing to sounds that will make you want to open your eyes. This makes it very challenging for most, especially when you are not allowed to cover your eyes in any way either.

Luckily, I am one of those that have not found it difficult, in all the years I have lived here I have not once broken any of its strange rules.

"Lynn, I am so terribly worried about him." Says Jenny as she tries to hide her trembling hands.

"Jenny, really, don't worry. His dad will be with him, right? And Sammy is a pretty smart kid."

She shakes her head: "Even so, he is still just four years old and not all kids are like you when you were younger... and how you still are." Was it just me or did I sense a small hint of disappointment in me? Maybe annoyance?

For most people it is difficult to go without looking and Jenny was rather young when she saw it for the first time.

It happened during the last year of middle school. Jenny and a group of her friends had freely decided to keep their eyes open during the show. She used to be quite the daredevil, throughout the village she was also known as 'Jenny the brave'. Now it is just a silly nickname, since she lost all that bravery that day.

Before that day, we weren't friends yet, we were just classmates.

On that day she went with five others, the bravest of middle school, but eventually also the most stupid. For as far as I know has no one ever tried that before.

I still remember the day after, like it was yesterday, all of them were absent. The teacher told us what happened and that they had gotten sick with nightmares, that's how bad it was.

"You probably have to be the oldest one here that still hasn't seen it!" Jenny says taking me back to the here and now.

I laugh: "Nah, no way. I bet there are still some of the elderly that haven't seen it."

"27, you're getting pretty close."

"Jen, we are the same age!" I laugh loudly.

Then Jenny lets out a shaking sigh.

"Jenny, really it will all be alright. Let's go do something fun together soon, oh maybe we could go apple picking again. It is almost time for those, Right?

"Okay, okay, you're right, but apple picking season will start next month. But I would love to have a game night again at your place. You have collected a lot and John has been wanting to play those again for a while."

"Alright, game night it is!"

Proud of myself for being able to help my friend. I say my goodbyes and leave her café.

In the distance I can already hear the circus music, as I squint my eyes, I can see the people that have worked there the previous years.

They are all very old and very thin, I wonder if they ever get something to eat.

Unlike the crowds for a normal circus, most people here are anxious. Parents telling their kids to behave and some of them even scaring them, all just to make sure that they won't look.

"Sam! Sammy!" I suddenly hear someone call out from the crowd.

I recognize him immediately, it is Jenny's husband and Sammy's father, John."

"Hey John, is everything alright?"

He shakes his head wildly: "No, no, not in the least! I lost Sam, if you hadn't already noticed?!" He answers panicked and angry that I even dared to ask such a stupid question.

"I will help you look." I offer.

John is a bit of an ass, but I do really care about Sammy's safety. I don't want the poor little kid to be traumatized or get sick of nightmares.

"Caitlynn, you have to tell me when you find him, immediately!" He demands.

I nod and walk the other way, wondering about how Jenny and John ever got married.

The circus tent is already very old, ancient even, as some have said. But still as sturdy as ever. Just beneath one of the peaks there is this creepy grey face, it always moves. Looking at people that enter or even just pass by. I have no idea what it is made of, but most likely some type of leather. Some old mechanism must be the thing that makes its eyes move, it looks rather creepy. Especially if it is the first time seeing it, by now I've gotten used to it.

At the circus you can buy food, but I've never seen anyone there. This entire event feels more like a funeral than something that is supposed to be fun.

Another strange thing about this entire event, is that it always seems to have just enough places to sit as the amount of people that live in this village. Which means that if there is an empty place, someone isn't here.

I don't know anyone who hasn't come each and every year though.

I decide that the best way to find Sammy is to maybe ask some of the employees of the circus and maybe for them to let everyone know about his disappearance.

As one of the employees walks past me, I quickly tap her on her shoulder to get her attention.

The older lady turns to me looking at me with her dark eyes and a face that is so thin, it almost looks like a skull.

I tell her what is going on and her face seems to show something like fear.

"Oh no, we need to do something before it begins!"

"Isn't there a way to delay the show for a bit?" I ask carefully, I know that we still have some time, but it would be a good second option if we can't find him before it runs out.

"No, no, I'm so sorry. It has to start at 12 o'clock straight, bad things will happen if we don't." She seems to be more panicked than me, so I put a hand on her shoulder to calm her down. "It will probably be fine, Sammy is a smart kid. So maybe if you could tell others to help the search, we can cover more ground quickly."

"Yes, Yes, I will ask all of my colleagues if they have seen him, what does he look like?"

"He is 4, has blond hair and wears his favorite dino shirt today. It's blue with green."

She nods and runs off faster than I expected of someone as old and thin as her. I couldn't even thank her.

I can see the lady talk to each of her colleagues with quick hand gestures, then one of them runs inside to come out with a megaphone.

As I want to continue John walks up to me: "Ah hey John, did you already find-"

"WHY THE HELL DID YOU ASKED THOSE FREAKS FOR HELP?!" He shouts at me: "You SAID that YOU were going to help and NOT to make Everyone think that I am a BAD FATHER! ASK BEFORE YOU PULL STUPID SHIT LIKE THIS!!!"

What a jerk...

Calmly I answer him: "Well, we will find him a lot quicker now.", But this only seems to anger him more.

"HOW the HELL can you be this CALM?! YOU REALLY DON'T CARE!"

I look at his red angry face, I am not afraid of his tantrums.

"We will find him and nothing bad is going to happen, bad things have never happened before anyway."

His face goes quickly from red to pale: "You really believe that... There is something seriously wrong with you..."

Then out of the corner of my eye, I see a little blond kid enter the tent.

"Well John, shout all you want, but I will continue to look." I run to the tent were I thought that I possibly saw Sammy.

As I enter the tent, I am greeted by a seemingly endless hallway.

"Sammy?" I call out.

No answer.

I take my phone out of my pocket and turn on the flashlight.

Now the hallway is filled with the bright white light.

I can see doors on my left and right, all of them look very old.

The bit of paint still remaining on the doors is peeling off.

The smell of damp and dust almost makes it unbreathable.

Quietly I walk, listening for any sound.

Then somewhere in the middle of the hallway I can hear whispering from one of the rooms.

I open the door and shine my flashlight inside.

Finally!

I see Sammy standing, next to what seems like a skeleton with too many arms and heads.

"Hey, Sammy! I was looking all over for you."

No answer.

"Sammy, c'mon, we gotta go."

Again silence, he hasn't even turned his face to me.

I sigh and step into the room, as I walk towards Sammy, I suddenly hear something moving.

Quickly I turn around to see what it is, has the skeleton moved?

Nah, that's impossible.

"Sam, your dad is worried about you."

But again Sammy seems to be ignoring me.

I place my hand on his shoulder: "SAM! Are you listening?"

And then he finally moves, shocked he looks at my face. So he hadn't noticed me before?

"Sam, we have to leave!"

The little kid before me starts tearing up quietly and wraps his tiny hands around my knees.

"Were you scared, Sammy?"

He nods while I gently pick him up.

"Let's go to your dad. Oh and promise me to keep your eyes shut. I will tell you when you can open them again, okay?"

"Yes, auntie." He says with fear and tears in his soft voice.

As I quickly leave to go to the place we have to be, I can hear whispering and something moving around following us.

"And then we found him again, there is really nothing to worry about."

"Why don't you understand?!" Jenny suddenly screams after me when I finished my story, her eyes red from tears and anger.

Tired of people shouting at me, I answer rather insensitively: "Why are you all so worried, nothing bad has ever happened around here! That circus is just a silly little thing to scare kids! As long as we just follow the rules, we are safe."

"Silly little thing?! You don't understand because you haven't seen it! You are just blind!"

I still don't understand the problem.

"Don't you remember the last year of middle school, when a whole family went missing!"

"I have never heard of anyone going missing."

"The group I was with existed out of a group of 6."

"6? Oliver, Amy, John, Mary and you. Who am I missing?

"Jerry, remember..."

Her voice sounds hesitant.

"I'm sorry, who?"

Shocked about my answer, Jenny stares at me with fear filled eyes.

"Y-you two have always been best friends... how?"

[many-cdd-info]

The way it feels like 49.5% of discourse are the same handful of arguments getting recycled by new SysCoursers, 49.5% are CDD infighting about people not using a standardized, "acceptable" language to describe their experiences, and the final 1% is actual information people can use.

Arguing about linguistic schematics aside, here's scientific reasoning why people may perceive or describe what happens in their innerworld as though it's real.

Mind-Body Connection

"Perhaps the best way to begin is by making a mental list of the sorts of things we find stressful [ ... ] traffic, deadlines, family relationships, money worries [ ... ] 'Think like a zebra for a second'. Suddenly, new items might appear at the top of your list-- serious physical injury, predators, starvation [ ... ] For animals like zebras, the most upsetting thing in life are acute physical crises. These are extremely stressful events, and they demand immediate physiological adaptations if you are going to live. Your body's responses are brilliantly adapted for handling this sort of emergency." "An organism can also be plagued by chronic physical challenges [ ... ] Drought, famine, parasites, that sort of unpleasantness-- not the sort of experience we have often, but central to the lives of non-westernized humans and most other mammals. The body's stress-responses are reasonably good at handling these sustained disasters." "Critical to this book is a third category of ways to get upset-- psychological and social disruptions [ ... ] Viewed from the perspective of the evolution of the animal kingdom, sustained psychological stress is a recent invention, mostly limited to humans and other social primates. We can experience wildly strong emotions (provoking our bodies into an accompanying uproar) linked to mere thoughts*." *"The neurologist Antonio Damasio recounts a wonderful study done on the conductor Hebert von Karajan, showing that the maestro's heart would race just as wildly when he was listening to a piece of music as when he was conducting it."

"Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers" by: Robert M. Sapolsky

"We can experience wildly strong emotions (provoking our bodies into an accompanying uproar) linked to mere thoughts."

Not only is this a common enough human experience that people make relatable jokes about becoming pissed off or hurt with people, in the shower or otherwise, due to imagined scenarios in their head (because the body's nervous system is reacting to imagined scenarios as though they were happening in real life, and in real time) but this is also the foundation for anxiety disorders and depression. CBT is a therapy that teaches people to recognize the physiological signs of anxiety/depression, so that they can better understand what's going on in their heads. Ruminating about an upcoming stressful event causes the same physiological response as actually living through and engaging with the stressful event. This is where anxiety disorders come from, people living in a chronic state of negative anticipation and worry, causing them to behave as though they're actually living through the things going on in their mind.

So, we can move forward with the understanding of the "mind-body" connection, that's what happening in the mind very much effects the body, thanks to the nervous system (of which the brain is a part of, mind you). Both imagined and ruminated scenarios can cause the same physical reaction in the body as the actual stressor that's being imagined/ruminated upon. In a similar sense, flashbacks and intrusive thoughts in PTSD are felt within the body as though the remembered event is actually happening again. What is felt in the mind echoes though the body as though it's real, even if it isn't (this doesn't mean the person has to think or believe it's real. Imagining scenarios, rumination, intrusive thoughts and flashbacks are fully separate from psychosis, a disorder of loosing touch with reality. They're not the same experiences. The mind-body connection causes the body to react to imagined stressors the same way as the body would to an actual stressor).

Innerworlds & The Phantasia Spectrum

Innerworlds, mindscapes, or headspaces, aren't unique or exclusive to systems, and they're not even inherently pathological.

As mentioned above, those with aphantasia won't have an innerworld. Those with phantasia will, those with hyperphantasia have a detailed or "hyperactive" imagination, that doesn't just utilize visualization, but all five senses.

phantasia: Aristotle coins the term phantasia in De Amina (On the Soul), Part III, to describe a distinct capacity between perception and thought — a sort of ‘sixth sense.’ Phantasia is commonly translated to imagination and is often explained in the context of visualizing and dreaming. [ x ]

aphantasia: Aphantasia is the inability to visualize. Otherwise known as image-free thinking [ ... ] Aphantasia was only given a name in 2015. And yet we have known about this unique variation as early as the 1800s. British psychologist Francis Galton first identified ‘non-imagers’ in his Breakfast Study. [ x ]

hypophantasia: Hypophantaisa is characterized by a low visual imagination. Hypo – meaning low. Hypophantasics, or people with hypophantasia, have described experiences almost like aphantasia, where visual imagery is completely absent. Hypophantasics may only experience flashes or struggle to create mental images. This phenomenon can extend to other senses in your imagination, such as auditory (sound), gustatory (taste), olfactory (smell) imagination, etc. [ x ]

hyperphantasia: Hyperphantasia is characterized by an abundance of mental imagery. Or in other words, a very vivid imagination. People with hyperphantasia can create clear and detailed images in their minds, often to the point where these mental images have a ‘lifelike‘ quality. It is the opposite of aphantasia, where mental imagery is absent. This phenomenon doesn’t just impact visual imagination. It can extend to other senses, such as auditory (sound), olfactory (smell), gustatory (taste), tactile (bodily sensation), and motor (movement) imagination. In addition to vividness and clarity, mental imagery could also vary in mode. Projectors perceive their mental image as superimposed onto their visual experience, whereas, associators do not “see” mental images but can nevertheless have a clear visual representation in their mind. [ x ]

What exactly is an "inner world"?

"Sigmund Freud, was an early proponent of inside-out psychology, as he excavated the buried but living unconscious inner world. [ ... ], Melanie Klein, spelled it out further by saying that we each have an unconscious internal world populated by our feelings, experiences, and memories that we experience in a very concrete way, as if various versions of ourselves and others are alive inside us. She even had the conception of this inner world being the control center of our lives with “internal objects” managed by these different parts of ourselves." - "You Have An Inner World: So What?" | Psychology Today (forgive us for using PT as a source; because inner worlds aren't inherently pathological, the limited funding and resources that the field of psychiatry and psychology gets are not spent on research into inner worlds, but into areas of pathology to better increase disordered people's quality of life).

Depending on where you are on the phantasia spectrum depends on how you visualize and engage with your inner world. For example, Inner Worlds are a part of IFS, where different IFS parts represent different "internal objects" as described by Klein. Some may have to utilized play therapy along with IFS to communicate between IFS parts. Some may be able to communicate via journaling, and can draw their IFS parts. Others may have a place they visualize where the IFS parts all "live" and interact with one another, that may be accessed at any time. It just depends on the individual.

Another word we'd like to also bring up is paracosm.

paracosm: A paracosm is a detailed imaginary world thought generally to originate in childhood. The creator of a paracosm has a complex and deeply felt relationship with this subjective universe, which may incorporate real-world or imaginary characters and conventions. Commonly having its own geography, history, and language, it is an experience that is often developed during childhood and continues over a long period of time, months or even years, as a sophisticated reality that can last into adulthood. The concept was first described by Robert Silvey, with later research by British psychiatrist Stephen A. MacKeith and British psychologist David Cohen. The term "paracosm" was coined by Ben Vincent, a participant in Silvey's 1976 study and a self-professed paracosmist. [ x ]

While the term "paracosm" isn't unique to immersive or maladaptivae daydreaming, it is largely used in that community, with "para" (meaning "beside" or "next to", as in "parallel") being the root word for most ID/MaDD labels. Eli Somer, the one who: discovered the dissociative absorption daydreaming spectrum, has studied it, created proposed diagnostic criteria for MaDD, and has been pushing for MaDD to be recognized by the APA and WHO as a legitimate disorder requiring its own diagnosis for the treatment of patients, makes it clear that the daydream worlds, or paracosms, are inner worlds with their own narratives and lore (this is why the term 'paracosm' is used by the ID/MaDD community despite the two concepts being discovered separately, however, as of now, paracosms aren't exclusive to ID/MaDD).

That means it's completely possible for a system to have hyperphantasia, which means all five of their senses are being engaged while imagining, and may also be superimposed on to reality, and also imagining a construct that has a narrative and lore. This isn't "just" visualization, and while we understand why those with aphantasia reduce it down as such, because you can't possibly understand how incredibly rich and deep the experience is, it really is a disservice to water down the experience to such.

Now, if you take into consideration that someone with hyperphantsaia is having all their sense engaged when imagining their inner world, and that the mind-body reaction causes the body to react to imagined scenarios as though they're real, then yes, hyperphantasia causes inner world happenings, including emotional, physical, mental, etc stimuli, to be felt in the body as though it's real.

Dissociative Disconnect Between Internal And External Experiences

And finally, as the last layer to this, we will look at SzPD and MaDD. SzPD is marked by intense, extreme and chronic DPDR (due to ipseity disturbance/minimal self disorder as much as dissociation), and MaDD is a proposed disorder that's an addiction to a particular type of dissociative absorption daydreaming known as immersive daydreaming. The "schizoid" in SzPD means "split" (which is where the "schizo" in all schizo-spec (minus AvPD) disorders come from), which is referring to the "split" between the schizoid "outer external experience" (filtered through a sort of avatar/persona) and the internal schizoid experience, which is marked by a rich, deep internal fantasy, comparable to ID/MaDD (it's worth noting that while hyperphantasia isn't exclusive to schizo-spec disorders, it is linked to them).

Aphantasia and psychological disorder: Current connections, defining the imagery deficit and future directions

Carl Jung: a life on the edge of reality with hypnagogia, hyperphantasia, and hallucinations

High Schizotypal Individuals Are More Creative? The Mediation Roles of Overinclusive Thinking and Cognitive Inhibition

For both those with SzPD and MaDD, reality can feel bland, dull and flat compared to the feelings they get within their daydreams. Often times, pwSzPD and pwMaDD will talk about how their daydreams and fantasies feel "more real" than reality due to the differences in blunt affect of reality and the emotional richness and depth of their daydreams. It's not that there's a level of psychosis happening, and they literally believe fantasy is real, but that daydreams feel more real, due to how internal fantasy is experienced versus reality.

Schizoid Fantasy: Refuge or Transitional Location?

The Object Relations Theory of Ronald Fairbairn

Schizoid Fantasy [ pdf ]

When Imagination Feels Like Reality: A Case Study of False Memories and Maladaptive Daydreaming in Visual Impairment

Life feels so dull without daydreaming r/MaladaptiveDaydreaming

Does maladaptive daydreaming make you feel like everything is unreal? r/MaladaptiveDaydreaming

We feel this may also happen with CDD systems, especially if the host of a CDD system is an ANP, and that the system has hyperphantasia. ANP intentionally by design lack emotional depth as a way to avoid the system as a whole being triggered, and tend to suffer from blunt affect, alexithymia, apathy, etc (unless being influenced via passive influence, or other factors, of course. This isn't to say all ANP hosts are always 100% emotionally dead and detached, feeling like ghosts haunting the body's narrative, but it is a common experience in those who have a history of childhood trauma). Compare a host's outer experience of intentionally being emotionally dulled, and strong emotions being "siphoned off" and compartmentalized into the various emotions/symptoms/trauma/etc holders of the system so the ANP host doesn't have the feel/experience those things, to the experience of hyperphantasia and a paracosm as an innerworld. The host will more thn likely describe the innerworld as though it's real, because the mind-body connection causes the body to react to imagined stiumuli as though it's real. And when imagination is the only time an ANP host, or a pwSzPD, or a pwMaDD (or someone who's all 3) experiences feeling, it will, internally, feel more real and be perceived as real/potentially more real, than reality.

There's also a whole conversation to be had around how phantasia and hyperphantasia can be utilized, for better or worse, when it comes to reenacting trauma and abuse within the system, or as a way to cope maladaptively or healthily, or how to aide in recovery, and how this harm or help is experienced with the system. Or how what's going on inside the inner world may depend on who's fronting and what's going on internally (do they need coping, if so, in what way? What is it the host is coping with: trauma, loneliness, symptoms, etc. Is abuse being reenacted within the system? Is trauma, or a negative experience, being processed? etc.)

.. at this point do you maybe think your inability to empathize with complex innerworld experiences might have something to do with the fact that you dont have the ability to visualize a vivid inner world? because you just said those two things back to back and it made some things click for me

No it's cause I know it's not a literal event and it's just visualization. I don't need to be good at visualization to understand that's what an iw is, that's the entire reason I don't have one... I know what it is and I can't do that

Anyone who says iw shit is literally happening is wrong, no matter how complex their system is or how good at visualization they are

[noteguk]

bad behavior | jjk | m

This is in the same universe as “bad influence.” It can, however, be read as a stand-alone. 

— summary; in which staying late to volunteer at a self-help meeting was the best decision you made in a while. 

— contents and warnings; smut, the endless adventures of badboy!jk x goodgirl!reader, public sex (in a church…), dirty talk, fingering, degradation (name calling) but also praise, unprotected sex, clothed sex, creampie, cum play, there is a window and also reflections, rough sex, cockwarming, jk being a lil shit because that’s his main personality trait, jk smokes (only mentioned), enemies to fuckbuddies: dawn of the first day 

— words; 8.2k

— author’s note; for the anon that asked how their first time was like ;) join me as we explore the lore of this godforsaken couple 

It was your mother’s idea for you to find a new place to volunteer. According to her, it had been a long time since you experienced “the invigorating energy of community work” — last time was when you were trying to level up your college application — and it could really “soothe your anxious soul” during the trying times of college finals. Apparently one tutoring program and two research projects weren’t enough to distract you, but you could see where she was coming from. 

In the end, you accepted. The old places you used to volunteer in had either shut off their programs or were just too far away from college for you to consider. At first, you decided to follow your mother’s suggestion and tried to work with children — “small miracles”, as she called them — in a local daycare. Which ended up being a terrible idea. 

You liked giving back to the community, you really did, but it wasn’t long until you realized that working with infants hasn’t been your wisest decision, and that children weren’t miracles at all. You got tired of going home covered in paint and with pieces of playdough entangled in your hair, and that was when you weren’t unlucky enough to get hit with other, less clean fluids. 

So you eventually gave up — both on the daycare and on the faint idea of one day going into pediatrics — and searched for a new place. After having to yell your way through retirement homes, and getting fed up with washing people’s sidewalks, you finally settled in a program that was flexible and light enough for your intense college hours: preparing (and then later cleaning up) a room that was reserved in a local church for weekly meetings. 

The entire ordeal took about two to three hours off your day, and more than half of it was spent as free time: waiting for the meeting to end, cramming piles of information in a small room next door. You didn’t really know what the meetings were about since they changed practically every month — they were, at first, a support group for teenage mothers, then it became an AA meeting, then a group for drug users trying to quit. Lately, you were starting to think that the church just gave away the room for whoever had the money to rent it, so it wasn’t a surprise when it was reserved for a motivational speaker to give confidence lessons. 

You had researched the guy, some old dude with an unpronounceable name and a sketchy background, and found exactly the type of person you had expected. Yes, you were in the house of Christ, but you were still being heavily judgmental of the fact that he was giving those talks when he had no qualifications whatsoever, and was probably making bank off all the self-help books he regurgitated at least twice a year to prey on vulnerable people. You did share your worries with the administrative office of the church, but they ultimately fell on deaf ears, and you gave up on the idea of kicking his ass out of the holy grounds anytime soon. 

It was after one of those pseudo-motivational talks that you walked into the empty room, ready to clean everything up before rushing back to your place, where your roommate had promised to greet you with some wonderful takeout. The chairs were still placed in a circle on the center of the room, where they had been since forever, and you made sure to align them perfectly before you moved on to the litter that had been thrown around the place. 

One good thing about those self-help meetings was that they were a lot cleaner than a lot of other attendees, so the “picking up the trash until your back started to hurt” part passed by surprisingly fast. You had just moved on to the snack table, analyzing what you could still save, when your soul almost left your body. 

“Hey, you,” you heard a known voice behind you. “What are you doing in here?”

You swiftly turned around, heart thumping violently against your ribcage. You didn’t know how you hadn’t let out the biggest, most blood-curdling scream ever, but that was just the first of many miracles of the night. “Jesus Christ,” you wheezed out, taking one hand to your chest. “You shouldn’t sneak up on people like this.” You swallowed dry, some part of your brain recalling that he had asked you a question. “And I’m volunteering here.” 

“I didn’t sneak up on you, you’re just jumpy.” Jungkook scoffed, leaning against the doorframe with that stupid playful smirk curling up on his lips. You didn’t know they allowed demons inside the church. “And of course you are.” He rolled his eyes. 

Maybe a few months back, his mocking tone would’ve stung a bit more. However, you had been tutoring Jungkook for about three months then, suffering through endless sessions of his whining and complaining, and you’ve grown used to his passive-aggressive antics already. You learned that Jungkook was a shark seeking for blood, waiting for any crack that would allow him to jump into a perverse little joke — about how you behaved, your priorities, or even the color of your highlighter. You, of course, always stood your ground and threw his comments right back at him — which was his initial plan, as you’ve come to realize. Jungkook enjoyed playfully arguing with you, and you thought that it was another level of strangeness and masochism you simply didn’t have time to dissect. 

Still, Jungkook (shockingly) wasn’t the terrible person you once thought he was. Every once in a while — when he was trying to talk you out of teaching him — the conversations you two would have were actually mostly pleasant, and he wasn’t awful to hang around when he dropped the whole badass persona to act like a real human being. You would even dare to say that Jungkook could be actually funny at times, and not in the bitter, sarcastic way he usually was. Sometimes, you dared to think, he could actually be reasonably nice. And also kind of cute. Even hot. 

But you would never actually admit any of that out loud. Or even to yourself, really. 

“And you?” You asked, turning back around to face the table full of half-eaten food. That looked like a battlefield, and you could already tell that there were only a few survivors left standing. “What are you doing here? Repenting?” 

Jungkook chuckled dryly. “You wish. My parents want me to quit smoking,” he said. You could not see him, but you could hear him walking closer to you as you fumbled with the large Tupperware. “We settled on this crap instead of a forced intervention.” 

You scoffed. Most of the food before you was unsalvageable — some of the cupcakes had been bitten once and then placed back, and you wondered how someone like that could function in society. “You don’t seem very motivated to quit,” you mumbled. 

Jungkook clicked his tongue. “I don’t really care.” 

His voice was much closer to you, and you felt the air leaving your lungs for a pitiful instant. You convinced yourself you had only gotten scared again. “You should care about the growing possibility of lung cancer.” 

He shrugged. “Maybe. But it’s not really on the top of my list of priorities at the moment.” 

“And what is?” You asked. 

“Amongst other things…” he trailed off and, suddenly, he was standing besides you, pointing at the chaotic pile of sweets. “I actually came back to grab another one of those cupcakes. The chocolate ones are great.” 

You didn’t know why, but his comment broke the odd tension that you didn’t even know that was there, clicking you back into your previous mentality — the one that you just wanted to finish cleaning up so you could leave soon. “All yours,” you told him, “grab as many as you want.” 

Jungkook hummed in satisfaction, reaching out to grab one special brown cupcake — an untouched one, thankfully. “I love when you talk dirty.” He almost moaned before shoving the cupcake inside his mouth, taking a huge bite off it. Dramatically, Jungkook rolled his eyes and sighed in delight. “These are fucking great.” 

You chuckled, glancing at his direction. Jungkook was dressed in all black, like he usually was, and you were starting to recognize a newfound admiration towards his constant use of leather jackets. What? He looked good. “I’m glad the self-help sessions are paying off,” you commented, swiftly placing the cupcakes inside the transparent container. 

Jungkook was paying attention to your actions now, like he noticed you were there working for the first time. “What are you doing with the rest?”

“The church will probably donate it, give it to the homeless or something.” You shrugged. “Or they’ll eat it, I don’t know. I just clean up the place and leave.” 

Jungkook laughed at that, taking another monstrous bite from his cupcake and throwing himself on one of the nearby chairs. Your eye twitched a little at the thought that he had ruined your perfect circle, but you’d have to fix that on your way out. “Sounds absurdly boring,” he sang. “And they’re not even paying you.” 

You sighed. “After all the places I’ve volunteered in, boring is a blessing,” you told him. You had just placed five hot dogs in the container, and you were starting to wonder if it would be a good idea to feed people in need with those suspicious sausages. “But, yeah, you probably don’t care about any of that.” 

“You don’t know what I care about,” Jungkook said matter-of-factly. You didn’t know if he was trying to tease you, but his voice came out so soft and monotone that you couldn’t really be mad about it. It was true, after all: you didn’t actually know what he cared about. Sometimes you thought that he could read you better than you could read him. “Want me to stay here with you? This place is probably empty already.”

You could not hold back your laugh at that, turning around so you could look at him. “Are you offering to be my bodyguard? In a church?” 

Jungkook pouted. There was a thin line of chocolate on the side of his lips, which he quickly licked clean. “I’m trying to be nice.”

You giggled, turning back towards the disgusting food. The rest was mostly trash, but you were happy enough with the amount you had managed to find in a good state. “That’s new.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked. “I’m always nice.”

“Always is a strong word.” You smiled, closing the lid of the Tupperware. You had managed to fill three small containers with the leftovers and, honestly, that was a big victory. “But you can stay or you can leave, I don’t mind. I’m almost done anyways.” 

He frowned. “Is that your answer?” 

You turned around. “What? You want me to beg for your company?” You smiled. “You’re mistaken if you think I’d ever do that.”

“I’m staying.” Jungkook crumpled up the piece of cupcake wrapping and threw it in the trash can besides your body. He watched you for a moment as you started to throw the leftovers away, your back turned to him and a distracted look on your face. When he broke the silence again, you were throwing the last piece of bread in the bin. “Why are you volunteering?” 

“Because I like giving back to the community.” 

Jungkook sneered at your words. “Seriously now. Don’t lie, we’re in a church.” 

“I do, actually,” you stood your ground. There was a vague sound of crickets coming from the half-open window and the low buzzing of the fluorescent lights above you, but, other than that, the city was covered in absolute silence. Perhaps that was why you felt so at peace. “But my mom told me it would be a good thing to keep myself relaxed. You know, take my mind off college stuff.” 

He hummed, and you heard him getting up from the chair. “You always do what your mom tells you?” 

You met his gaze. “Didn’t your parents make you come here?”

He smiled. “Not the point.” 

Before you could hold yourself back, your lips were curling up. Again: Jungkook wasn’t absolutely awful to be around when he actually acted like a human being. “When she says something I agree with, yes,” you told him. “My ego isn’t bruised when it comes to following someone’s idea.” 

He raised his eyebrows. “You’re saying that mine is?”

“I didn’t say that.” You smirked and turned back to the table. You started piling up the used plastic cups, already eyeing all the used plates, forks and knives that you’d have to throw away. The daycare had better eating manners than that. “Thought we were talking about me.” 

“We were,” Jungkook agreed. One of his inked hands moved to the table, and you were about to tell him that he could eat more of the cupcakes when you realized that he had started to reach for the discardable plates, throwing them away. You really didn’t think he’d help you. “Finals are coming up, though, and you care about that shit. Shouldn’t you be using this time to study or something?”

“I study while you’re out here listening to becoming your real self or, I don’t know... waking up the giant within,” you said. “I’m fine, don’t worry about it.” 

He hummed, his nose cringing up at the disgusting remains of food that stuck to the plastic forks. Jungkook seriously didn’t know how you could do that for fun. “You know there are better ways to relax than cleaning up a dusty room, right?” 

“Probably,” you agreed. The cups were already in the trash, alongside with the plates, and there were only a few crumpled up napkins to get rid of before you tasted the sweet nectar of freedom. “But here I am. That’s what I chose for myself.” 

“Literally any other option would’ve been better,” Jungkook pressed on. “Isn’t that obnoxious friend of yours in cheer or something?” 

“Who? Jisoo?” You smiled at him. No one had ever called her obnoxious, but you couldn’t say that the title didn’t fit. Jisoo could be really… intense when it came to standing up for what she believed in. “She is. She invited me to join her already, if that’s what you’re gonna ask, but it’s not really my thing.” 

“It’s a shame,” he mumbled, leaning against the table. It was a beautiful miracle how clean that room had become just by getting rid of the piles of gross food, and you had proudly thrown the last piece of paper inside the trash bin when Jungkook spoke up again. “You’d look really hot in that outfit.” 

You stopped in your tracks, taking a second to digest the claim he had so mindlessly thrown your way. Just like all-things-Jungkook, a pleasant conversation could not last long, so you weren’t even surprised that he managed to ruin that talk with such a fuckboy-esque comment. 

Also like all-things-Jungkook, he managed to awaken a reaction out of you that you didn’t even know could be there. With a faint heat in your cheeks and a frown blossoming amongst your features, you actually felt a little bit of... satisfaction with the fact that he thought that you’d look hot in that skimpy outfit. At the same time, you wanted to slap yourself for falling into his charms so easily. 

In that conflicting turmoil of emotions, all you could say was a monotone, “You cannot be serious right now.”

Even if you kind of wanted him to be serious. 

“I’m being dead serious,” Jungkook didn’t back down, much to the elation of your ego. You felt like a schoolgirl being recognized by her crush, and the idea alone made your stomach curl onto itself. What the hell were you even thinking about? Yeah, Jungkook was pretty hot, but he was also kind of a douche and you didn’t want to get involved with that mess of a person. Or at least that was what you were trying to convince yourself of. “I mean…” he continued, “you’re even rocking this knee-level dress right now, can’t even imagine how you’d look if—“ 

“You can shut up now, Jungkook, thanks,” you interrupted him. Because you didn’t know how to act when he was so blatantly flirting with you, you switched back to the same passive-aggressive behavior that you had given him for the past three months. Call it self-preservation, call it panic, but your mind simply didn’t know where to go from there. “And I’m also done here, so you can skidaddle back to whatever swamp you came out of.” 

“Awn, don’t be mean, princess.” He pouted. Jungkook was a master at getting you worked up, and you had just given that to him on a silver platter. Maybe if you had mock-flirted back, he would’ve baked away. You would never know. “I was just fucking with you, you’re too easy to tease.” 

You pressed your lips together, hip touching the corner of the now empty table. “You were pretty much harassing me,” you said playfully. 

“I was not.” Jungkook smirked, shoving his hands inside the pockets of his pants. When had the two of you gotten so close? There was barely any space between your chests. “But it’s okay, I’m not gonna compliment you anymore, don’t worry. You don’t have to be so defensive.” 

“I’m not being defensive,” you said, defensive. 

“What, is it the church setting?” He raised his eyebrows, taking a look around. “Is it making you uncomfortable?” 

“No,” you answered, crossing your arms before your chest. Jungkook followed the movement and his gaze got stuck on the shape of your breasts for a second too long, making a newfound wave of heat rise up to your cheeks. “Not as much as you’re trying to make me uncomfortable right now.” 

He chuckled. “You do look cute when you’re shy,” Jungkook teased, taking a step towards you, and you took another one back, pretending you were just going to lean against the table. You sat on it in a weird diagonal position, with one leg still on the ground and the other dangling over the edge. Jungkook was so close that, when he spoke again, voice just above a whisper, you could feel his breath on your skin. “If you don’t want me here, just ask me to go and I’ll go.” 

You opened your mouth to respond, but no words came out. The atmosphere was filled with electricity, your body drowning in the warmth of his presence, the sharp seriousness in his dark eyes, and you could not bring yourself to say anything. Did you want him to leave? 

No, you realized in a rush of adrenaline, you didn’t want him to leave at all. 

Jungkook raised one of his eyebrows. “Hm? Nothing?” He smirked, placing himself between your legs. Every nerve of your body was screaming for you to touch him, to just wrap his mouth with yours, and you simply could not respond to any of its commands. “You’re full of surprises.” 

You found your voice at that comment, heart hammering against your chest. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“You’re a smart girl, you can figure it out.” Jungkook placed one strand of your hair behind your ear, his gaze flickering down to your chest. From where he stood, he could see the beautiful mounds of your breasts peeking under the fabric, licking his lips at the sight. “Can I at least say that I like your dress?” 

Jungkook’s palm slithered up your knee before you could even react, moving towards your inner thigh and raising your dress along with it. His touch was electrifying, and you found yourself craving more of it, a sigh caught on your throat at the tenderness of his hot skin. 

“Something tells me that your compliment isn’t so innocent,” you told him, leaning your head back slightly so you could hold his gaze. “Aren’t you gonna complete that and say that I would look better without it?”

Jungkook chuckled. “The idea is compelling, I’ll admit it,” he said, rubbing soft circles on your skin. His other hand slithered around your waist, pulling you closer to him. “But don’t need to take it off to fuck you.” 

Your eyes grew wide at that, brain short-circuiting. You frankly couldn’t believe that was happening — the fact that Jungkook was so shamelessly trying (and honestly succeeding) to initiate sex with you. In a fucking church too, of all places. “What- what did you say?”

“You heard what I said.” His stare didn’t falter. Jungkook was looking at you like he could eat you whole, and you seriously wouldn’t mind if he tried to. You'd deal with the social and psychological implications of that another time. “Just tell me to stop and I’ll do it, princess. No hard feelings, promise.” 

This time, you spoke out and the firmness and certainty in your voice surprised even yourself. “I don’t want you to stop.” 

“No?” His voice sounded like honey, so deep and melodic even through the thick layers of his sarcasm. You had never heard him get so serious, so focused, and the thought that it was all for you was igniting a fire inside your guts. “You wanna get fucked in a church?” 

You bit your lip, blinking up at him. The point was: you wanted Jungkook, of all people, to fuck you. The fact that it was in a church was just the cherry on top, and you didn’t care about it as much as you should — your mom would be weeping blood if she knew what was going on, but you weren’t planning on telling anything to anybody. “And what if I do?” You asked back teasingly. 

Jungkook smiled, knocking the breath right out of you. You could only hope that you didn’t look as horny as you felt, because your pride was still on the line. “Told you that you were full of surprises.” He pushed one of your legs open, making you lose your support on the floor. Now, both of your feet were dangling off the edge, body trapped between his strong arms and thighs on either side of him. “Are you a virgin, baby?”

You shook your head, and your voice reached you a bit later. “No.”

“Naughty,” Jungkook said, leaning in. He stared at you like a lion stalking its prey, his gaze lingering on your parted lips before, at last, he tilted his head to the side, deciding to move towards your neck instead. “But if you have the taste I think you do, you probably had some lame missionary sex with some goodie-two shoes.” 

When he started kissing your neck, you almost forgot to give him a response. You had to bite your lip to suppress a moan, instead producing a low, shaky sigh. “And if I did? What’s the problem with some lame missionary sex?” 

“No need to get mad, I’m on your side here,” Jungkook said, one of his hands navigating up your waist, between the valley of your breasts, before grabbing your boob. That time, you couldn’t hold back the whimper that escaped you. “Did he make you cum?” 

“Sometimes,” you said, slightly flustered. You didn’t think you’d be discussing your sexual history with Jungkook, but, well, there you were. “He was alright.” 

“Only sometimes?” Jungkook chuckled, the vibrations of his deep timbre vibrating through the sensitive skin of your neck, his thumb grazing your nipple. The heat between your legs only grew, your entire body practically begging to feel more of him. “That’s a shame, I could do better.” 

You rolled your eyes. “Don’t start getting cocky.”

“I never stopped being cocky,” he responded without hesitation. Well, he was right. “And I do have a good track record.” 

“Doubt it,” you said, the ghost of a smile lingering on your lips. You knew that you were playing a dangerous game, pressing right at the weak spots of his inflated ego to see how he would react. Perhaps you’d be luckier trying to poke a bear with a short stick. “You wouldn’t know the difference between a real and fake orgasm even if it hit you in the face.” 

Jungkook leaned back and looked at you for an instant. You knew he had caught onto your challenge straight away. He liked it as much as you did, there was no doubt about that. “Let’s see, shall we?” he asked. There was no denying the devilish aura that was all around him now, suffocating you with its tempting heat. “How long do we have?”

“I’m locking up the room tonight,” you said, watching as his eyes sparked with an emotion you could not decipher. “But I wanna get home before ten. Have homework.” 

You could see him fighting against the natural urge to ridicule you for saying something like that at such an odd time, but, at the end, he managed to avoid it. “More than enough time.” Jungkook placed one hand on the back of your neck, gaze darting hungrily toward your lips. “Come here.”

And then his mouth was on yours, and everything else was white noise. Jungkook kissed you much slower than you had anticipated, taking his sweet time caressing your mouth with his; hands exploring the curves of your body and teasing their way underneath your dress. He sighed heavily against your mouth when you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss, his soft tongue poking out and entering your mouth perfectly. Jungkook was a good kisser, you had to admit it, and he got your knees weak sooner than you’d like. 

His body was hot and firm against yours and you could feel the outline of his abs underneath your fingers as you trailed your hands down his torso; his quick heartbeat drumming on your palms. Jungkook’s breathing got heavier as you hooked your fingers on the hem of his pants and tugged him toward you. Instantly you noticed the outline of his hard cock against your inner thigh. 

Then, something switched. Just as you had reached out to touch his hardness, squeezing it lightly underneath your fingers, Jungkook groaned against your mouth and bit down on your lip. You had barely any time to react before he was pulling away from the kiss, gaze darkening. 

“Such a tease,” he mumbled hoarsely, his breath hitting your mouth in soft waves. His hand was hovering over your heat, his middle finger pressing down on your sensitive nub, making you whimper. “You don’t know what you do to me.” 

Jungkook was much quicker than your thoughts and, within a second, the motion of your panties being pushed aside made you fumble closer to him; your hands holding tightly onto his shoulders when he finally decided to touch you. 

“Fuck,” he groaned next to your ear, making your mind go blank for a split second. The teasing motions of his digits brushing your entrance were enough to make you whimper, hips thrusting forward in a failed attempt to make him move further. “Look at this, you’re soaking my fingers. Wanna get fucked that bad?”

But he didn’t let you respond. The sudden intrusion of two fingers inside your pussy made your back arch, nails digging in the leather of his jacket as Jungkook opened you up. “I—” you tried to speak, but it was hard to think when he started pumping his fingers in and out of you. The sounds of your wetness were a filthy symphony filling the quiet atmosphere. “Jungkook, what—” 

“God, that’s so tight,” he groaned, speaking through clenched teeth. His voice was enough to shut you up at the spot, a frail moan dripping from your lips. “Relax, baby, you’re too tense. Let me take care of you, alright?” 

You nodded, eyes drifting shut as he continued to pump his fingers in and out of you. You hated to admit it, but Jungkook was already winning against your ex by a long shot: the way his digits brushed inside you, gradually moving apart to stretch you, got you searching — begging — for more. You were sure you could cum around his fingers and, when he curled them up and they dragged against your sweet spot, the idea became a lot more palpable. 

“Jungkook, you’re taking too long, I’m gonna cum like this,” you complained, chest rising and falling under the waves of your upcoming orgasm. You could feel it building up in your stomach, ready to snap, and you didn’t want it to happen around his fingers. “I wanna feel you.” 

Jungkook breathed out at your needy request, placing a kiss against your jaw. “I’m just getting you ready for my cock, baby,” he said. A loud moan dripped from you when he unceremoniously added a third finger, your legs trembling on either side of his body. “I don’t know if you can take it.”

You scoffed. “Don’t flatter yourself,” you said, only half aware of the fact that your voice sounded more like a whimper than a serious comment. “I can.” 

He smirked wickedly. You really were pushing his buttons. “We’ll see about that,” Jungkook responded. 

Within a second, right as your orgasm was about to wash over you, he removed his fingers from your pussy. The frustrated moan you let out was quickly swollen by him, his mouth rogue against yours and the sweetness of his tongue intoxicating you — probably those stupid cupcakes, you thought. 

“Turn around for me,” he asked. 

You quickly did as he requested, putting your feet on the ground before turning your back to him, hands leaning on the table. Jungkook placed one hand on the curve of your spine, pushing you down until you had your chest against the surface, ass perked up and pussy in full display for him. There was a gush of cold air against your flesh when he pulled up the fabric of your dress and tossed it over your waist, exposing your lower body for him.

The boy hummed at the sight, one of his legs kicking your feet apart so he could position himself in the middle of your thighs. “You’re pretty all around,” Jungkook commented, one of his palms grazing your asscheek before grabbing it. His motion was harsh, needy; earning a whimper from you. “Knew you would be.” 

Through the dense clouds of your desire, there was still some part of you that managed to make fun of that situation. “You spend your free time thinking about my ass?”

“Won’t answer until I have a lawyer present,” he joked. 

You felt his fingers hooking around the fabric of your panties, pushing it further to the side so you had your cunt fully exposed for him to see. The drumming of your heartbeat almost drowned out the low groan he produced at the sight of your flushed heat. 

“Princess, your pussy is dripping so much…” Jungkook trailed off, one of his fingers tracing a line between your lips. He felt the urge to eat you out, to lick you completely clean and make you cum on his tongue, but he decided that would have to wait for a different time. “Is this all for me?” 

“Yeah, all for you,” you said, weak. There was a thundering exasperation building up inside you, motivated from your denied orgasm and from the way that Jungkook was taking his sweet time. 

“Good girl,” he mumbled and your chest was filled with pride. “Can’t wait to fuck it.” 

“Then don’t wait,” you practically begged. “Just rush.”

He removed his finger from your heat. “Shh… be patient,” Jungkook told you and you swore you could practically hear the smile in his voice. You could hear him shuffling behind you, the sound of his zipper opening echoing around that still room. “I’m gonna give you whatever you want.” 

You whined at the abrupt feeling of his warm cock rubbing between your folds, its tip hitting your clit after every languid thrust. “Fuck,” you cried out, shaky. Jungkook wasn’t lying when he said that he was big, his length was so thick that you were starting to get second thoughts whether you could take it or not. Not that you would ever admit it out loud. “Just put it in, Jungkook.” 

But Jungkook was having way more fun just teasing you. “Pussy’s so wet for me.” He breathed out, his hands tightening around your hips. You felt him throb between your folds, and the sensation got you searching for air. “You’re soaking my cock, baby. You want it that much?”

“Y-Yeah.”  

Jungkook hummed, leaning in so he could place a kiss on your shoulder. “I’m gonna fuck you like you deserve to be fucked, princess,” he promised, his length still rubbing between your folds. He was so hard and heavy that your mind was spinning, your lungs drowning in expectation. “Gonna fuck you so well that you’re never going to forget it. Do you want that?”

“Yes,” your voice was a pathetic moan, and you hated your body for betraying you so easily. “Yes, please.” 

After another pec on your shoulder, Jungkook leaned back. “Be loud for me, alright?” He asked. “Can you do that for me?”

You swallowed hard — what were the chances that someone would hear you? You had no idea. “Yeah, whatever you want, just fuck me.”

“Whatever I want? That’s a dangerous thing to say.” He moved around behind you, making you flinch when you felt his cock align with your dripping entrance. The anticipation was driving you insane. “Might have to see if you’re up for it another time.” 

There was an answer somewhere in your mind — you could swear there was — but it was quickly forgotten the second that Jungkook pushed himself inside you. The drag of his cock was a delicious torture, streching you out and filling you up to the brim until you were shaking under his touch, both of you moaning at the sensation. 

“Oh my god.” You breathed out, hands turning into fists on the table. Your cheek was pressed against the polished wood, hot breath creating small white clouds on the surface. 

Jungkook released a shaky sigh when he felt you clenching around him, your body desperately trying to move closer to him. “Fuck, baby,” he hissed, his hands holding onto your hips for dear life. Gradually, he moved himself away from your pussy just so he could slam back inside, marveling on the way you trembled at the feeling, crying out his name in the prettiest of whimpers. “Your pussy is so fucking tight. Squeezing my cock so well.” 

Took you only an instant to realize that you were absolutely addicted to the feeling of his cock inside you, the heavenly push of his hardness in and out of you as he slowly started to set a pace. “Oh my god, I’m—” a pitiful hiccup interrupted you, turning your voice into a sharp cry. “That’s so good, Jungkook.”

Jungkook chuckled behind you, his thrusts starting to pick up speed. Your eyes closed in endless bliss, every part of your brain focused on the sensation of his fat length stretching you up. “Told you I’d be, not my fault you didn’t believe me,” he said, but you could tell that his confidence had started to wear itself thin — he, too, seemed to be much more focused on the way that your bodies met. “Do you touch yourself, princess?”

You almost didn’t know how to answer him, a deep heat rushing up to your cheeks. “W-What?”

“When you’re alone, baby,” he practically hissed. You were bouncing on the table then, your body jerking up and down as he fully pistoned his cock inside your heat. “Do you play with your little pussy?”

“Y-yes,” you stammered, embarrassed. “S-Sometimes.” 

“Show me how you do it,” he requested in-between huffs, lust dripping from every syllable. Jungkook spoke to you like a siren, effortlessly inducting you to comply with everything he wanted. “Come on. Don’t be shy, I wanna see you play with yourself for me.” 

You didn’t even know if what you were feeling was shyness, but there was a veil of hesitation that covered your actions. As your hands moved downwards, one of them clenching around the fabric of your dress and pulling it up while the other trailed over your mound, you felt strangely vulnerable, exposed. At the same time, you wanted to do what he asked you to, wanted him to wash you over with compliments until your mind was going blank. 

So you closed your eyes and focused on the sensation of two of your fingers coating themselves in your wetness, then their pressure on your clit. You whined at the feeling, pleasure exploding in your veins as you started to rub yourself, tracing small circles on your sensitive spot. There was no way you could ever reach that sensation again, the sweet motions of your fingers combining perfectly with the thrusts of his hard, fat cock inside you. You were doomed. 

“That’s it… just like that, baby,” Jungkook whispered, obsessed with the sensation of your walls fluttering around him. You had gotten so tight that he thought he would see heaven at any second now. “Feels good?” 

“Y-Yeah, so good...” you struggled to get out, “feels amazing, Jungkook.” 

“So perfect for me,” his praise shot straight up to your core, making you mewl under him. God, the way that you were tightening around him was going to drive him insane. “You feel so fucking good, I can’t stop fucking you.” 

Jungkook took one of his hands to your neck, using it to guide your body upwards until you had your back pressed against his chest; his hot lips assaulting your neck. The new position made it so much easier for his cock to drill inside you, reaching even deeper and hitting sweet spots you didn’t even know you had. It wasn’t long before you were moaning out, eyes fluttering shut as the pleasure overtook you. 

“Just take a look at that, baby,” his voice broke you out of your hypnotized state.  “Look at you. Such a good slut, just taking everything I’m giving you, touching yourself for my cock… fuck. Could watch you like this forever.” 

You had to take a moment to understand what he was talking about, and then you saw it: the window. It stood silently across the room from you, half open, and the glass combined with the darkness of the night gave a perfect reflection of the two of you. You could see yourself, the mess you had become, as Jungkook pounded in and out of you and your fingers worked on your clit; the darkness of his hungry gaze as he followed the motions of your body against his. 

Even if you cried out at the sight, your body freezed up a little at the thought of someone walking by and seeing that private spectacle. The possibility itself was minimal — the window gave way to the side of the land, where a big, thick fence separated it from the nearby houses; most of the ground covered by large trees and bushes — but it wasn’t zero. You couldn’t even begin to imagine the humiliation that would come from being seen like that. 

He, of course, noticed your change of demeanor right away, and you could see in the faint reflection that he had smirked at that realization. “What is it? Are you worried someone is going to walk by?” Jungkook almost groaned against your ear. His cock continued to pump ferociously in and out of you, and you couldn’t even understand your own thoughts for a moment. “That someone is gonna see you get fucked like a good slut?” 

“It’s not—” a moan cut your sentence short. Not like you knew where you were heading, anyways. 

“No one is gonna see you like this, know why?” Jungkook was grunting, his fingers tightening around your throat. You cried out at the feeling, your cunt clenching around him in a way that got him fucking you even harder. “Cause this is all for me. Just for me.” 

Then he was pushing you back on the table, your chest crashing against the wooden surface and his hands yanking you by the waist. Jungkook was fucking you so hard that your worries left you as soon as they arrived, your mind a turmoil of desires and broken exclamations that didn’t give space to anything else but him. 

“You look fucking gorgeous like this, stuffed with cock,” he marveled at the sight. There was a known wave of pleasure hovering over you, ready to crash at any given moment, and you stopped rubbing yourself just so you could prolong its arrival. “Wanna see you cum for me, make a mess for me, baby.” 

The words left you in a confusing, broken order, “Jungkook, I can’t… too much… can’t...” 

“Shhh, you can,” he was slowly easing you into your orgasm, his cock drilling in and out of your pussy. Jungkook fucked like a machine, fast and precise, and you didn’t think you’d be able to forget that anytime soon. “You told me you could take it, so now you’re gonna take it. Don’t you wanna be good for me?” 

“I- I want to… I’m so close,” you cried out, pressing your forehead against the table. You didn’t know how it hadn’t broken yet, with the way that Jungkook was fucking you so mercilessly hard. “I’m so, so close.”

“Cream my cock, baby, come on,” he urged you on, his member throbbing inside you at the thought. Your legs were so weak that you knew you’d fall facedown on the floor if he wasn’t supporting your weight with his strong arms. “Be a good girl and cream my cock for me.” 

And that was it. That was all that you needed to push yourself over the edge, submerging you in ecstasy and making you squeeze him so deliciously. “J-Jungkook!” You moaned out his name again and again, unsure of how loud you were being, but also not caring as much as you should. Jungkook realized he loved hearing you call his name more than anything else. “Fuck! Oh my god!”

“That’s it, baby,” he moaned back, his thrusts a sloppy, uncoordinated mess. He was hypnotized by the view of your cunt hugging him, your wetness dripping down your thighs as you rode out the last seconds of your orgasm. “Pussy’s so fucking tight, so fucking perfect— gonna cum too.” 

You gasped out at the sensitivity that was starting to spread, every movement shaky as you tried to push yourself against him. “Yes, please.” You looked over your shoulder, meeting his hooded gaze. Jungkook looked like a god, his dark hair sweaty and messy and his lip trapped between his teeth. That image would plague you forever. “Cum inside me, please.” 

He groaned loudly, eyes closing for a second. “Fuck, that’s so fucking hot,” he hissed, chest heaving with anticipation. You knew he was close, everything pointed to that, and all that you wanted was to see him reach his high, using your body like it was just a doll for him to fuck. “Didn’t know you’d want to be filled up with cum, princess.” 

“I’m full of surprises.” You smiled — a pretty, fucked-out smile that got Jungkook grunting like a madman. “I want your cum inside me, Jungkook, please.” 

“Gonna fuck you full of my cum, don’t worry— Shit.” The sounds he was making were heavily: those breathy, high-pitched moans that echoed all around you; broken by deep grunts that had your thighs shaking. Jungkook fucked himself in you like he was meant for it, throwing his head back and closing his eyes as he finally found his orgasm. “Fuck! That’s it, fuck—”

Jungkook called out your name and mixed it with praises and curses when he came, spilling himself inside your pussy. You sighed at the feeling, taking in the blissful sensation of having his hot cum spilling out of you, dripping down your legs as he continued to thrust inside you, milking out his orgasm. 

At last, he started to wince from sensitivity. His body collided against your back, his heavy breathing fanning your neck as he tried to collect himself. “Fuck, baby,” he mumbled, “you’re amazing.” 

“You’re not so terrible yourself.” You could not help the smile that appeared on your lips, nor the way that you melted against the surface of the table, drowning in his heat. 

Still, you couldn’t stay there for much longer: it was already a miracle that no one heard the chaos going on in that room, and you weren’t trying to push your luck for the night. Especially since you had a pile of homework (and possibly — now cold — takeout) waiting for you at home. 

You raised your body, leaning against your elbows. “I have to leave,” you told him, taking one of your hands to lay on top of his tattooed one, trying to ease his grip from your waist. “Now if you could just…” 

“Shhh, shhh,” Jungkook hushed, unrelenting. He was much stronger than you, and your muscles were too weak for you to try and do much, so you eventually gave up. “Stop moving. Let me feel you around me for just a bit more.” 

You frowned. “Why?”

“I like it,” he said simply. His breath was a faint caress against the skin of your neck, and you didn’t have much fight left in you. “We all have our tastes.” 

You rolled your eyes. “You’re so weird.”

“Don’t kinkshame.” Jungkook pouted, then pressed a kiss against your shoulder. “You just begged me to fuck you in a church, remember?” 

“Yeah, I guess I don’t have much place to judge.” You laughed dryly, then looked over your shoulder. “Why is your cock still hard? How long is this gonna take?” 

Jungkook groaned, clearly annoyed. “Shut up and enjoy the moment.” 

~ 

The so-called moment lasted about two more minutes (which was kind of impressive, you thought) before Jungkook softened and slipped out of you. You hated to admit but you kind of liked the feeling of having him still inside you, completing you as his lips danced around your neck; fingers tenderly playing with your hair. You never thought Jungkook would be so gentle after fucking you like that, but you guessed that you weren’t the only one that was full of surprises. 

Jungkook, apparently, also liked to admire his work. After he had slipped out of you, he made you sit back on the table just so he could stare at his own cum dripping out of you, a glimmer of satisfaction in his dark gaze. He had pushed his white release back inside you and smirked up at you, asking, ever so kindly, for you to go home like that, filled with his cum. 

You, of course, promptly accepted it. 

“By the way,” he called when you two had already stepped out of the church, enveloped by the coldness of the night. There was only one solitary light pole illuminating his features, making him look like one of the saints in the chapel — nothing but fake advertisement, in your opinion. “Wanna know how much I got in that immunology test?”

“How much?” You asked. 

“Eighty two.” Jungkook smiled brightly then, and you found yourself joining him. “Never saw a grade so high in my life. And that counts all the times I’ve cheated too.” 

“Seems like the tutoring sessions are paying off.” You crossed your arms before your chest, the hem of your dress swirling around your knees. The night was weirdly peaceful after everything that had taken place. 

“They are.” He nodded. “I’m looking forward to the next one. Helps that my tutor is kind of a hottie too.”

You scoffed. “So I’ve heard.”  

“And, by the way?” 

“Yeah?”

“You would look better without it.” He pointed at your dress, a sly smile already sprouting on his lips. “Hope to see it next time.”

“Good night, Jungkook.” You rolled your eyes, already turning around — yeah, like there would ever be a next time. 

~ 

BAD INFLUENCE COLLECTION

TAGLIST: 

@taehyungieskith​ @fan-ati--c​ @btstrasht​ @crazy4myself​ @sashimi-mochi @ft-multi @kooafraid @dianaaviny @ggukkieland @cryinginmypromdress @kissestothesky

[bogleech]

My favorite “abstract” monster movies/horror movies that feel like really good SCP’s and a non-spoiler note about each! Let me know any more along these lines! Some were your suggestions the last time I talked “anomaly horror movies” so thanks!!

Pontypool is based on a wildly different novel and a lot of people liked it more, but I actually found the movie more fun with its subtler and more focused story (basically just a small piece of the book) It is adjacent to, but is not a “zombie movie.”

Rubber is more comedy than anything else and has a strange meta angle some find pretentious. I just like that it’s about a murderous tire.

Absentia is a pretty harrowing film that involves missing children and pregnancy in its horror but also a very unique paranormal element for modern cinema.

Await Further Instructions is one I just saw weeks ago on Netflix and some people hate the tonal shift of the climax, the “silly” ending and the admittedly questionable “technology bad” kind of angle (edit: I was right the first time and that isn’t its message) but this is really one of my favorite monsters in a movie ever, and the whole thing is written just fun as hell to me.

Oculus is not about a “haunted” or “demonically possessed” mirror like some reviewers seem to think.

Autopsy of Jane Doe is technically about a classic kind of supernatural being but it’s presented in such a creative way.

In The Tall Grass is an adaptation of a King short story and “confusing” according to a lot of reviews. I did not find it confusing. I don’t think you will either? I think they just didn’t understand a movie where the antagonist is a phenomenon or location.

Possum is the least explicitly supernatural one here; the “creature” is symbolic and the real subject matter might be extremely disturbing for people who just want a spooky film.

1408 is another Stephen King adaptation and like Oculus I’ve seen reviewers who think it’s about a “haunting.” It isn’t, and the movie even says so.

Deep Dark is the closest thing in this list to just a literal “creature movie” but it’s a highly original entity who’s also just a delightful villainous character!

And FULL SPOILER synopsis for each if you want that!

Pontypool is about the English language itself becoming an infection, your vocabulary breaking down as you’re driven to a berserk state. Taking some dialog as canon and the book at face value, language itself has always been a metaphysical “organism” and now English in particular is trying to escape the confines of what it is. For this reason, infectees behave like zombies because they want to “chew through the mouth” of other people who are speaking.

Rubber has a tire just wake up one day for no reason and make things explode by shaking at them. A group of people lead by the film’s director follow the tire around and comment on events as if they’re over-analyzing an art piece.

Absentia never fully shows more than a hand and overall outline of its monsters, which are described as resembling silverfish but actually seem to be some kind of sadistic, ancient fae connected with an underpass.

Await Further Instructions is about a toxic family suddenly trapped in their home by a metal barrier and ordered around by emergency messages on their TV. Towards the end it turns out that television itself has gained awareness and wants humans to acknowledge it as master.

Oculus is about a mirror that can warp your perception of reality and has a staggeringly sick, sadistic will. A woman whose parents were killed by the mirror has devoted her life to studying it and setting up an elaborate, scientifically controlled system to finally document and destroy it.

Autopsy of Jane Doe is about an unidentified dead woman who does not seem to decay, and fights back against being examined and embalmed through manipulation of reality. She is revealed to have been executed centuries ago as a witch, but it’s implied there was nothing supernatural about her until her wrongful torture left a hatred that transcends death.

In The Tall Grass features a field that bends time and space in order to keep people trapped. The hub of the phenomenon is a massive “stone” (a brief, bizarre shot implies that it is something very different) that can invade the minds of victims and enslave them to the field’s survival.

Possum is about a man with a very, very creepy marionette puppet, and we see it move a few times, but it’s hard to say what’s real within the narrative of this movie, except that the man was a victim of childhood abuse and neither he nor the puppet are its antagonists.

1408 is in a similar vein to Oculus and Jane Doe; it’s a hotel room that can do whatever it wants with reality or its victim’s perception of reality, and it seems to have a limitless love of inflicting agony. I also like the short story just as much, and it has some moments I wish had translated to the film.

Deep Dark is about a cheap, filthy apartment where a long line of world-famous artists and inventors are revealed to have secretly found inspiration. When an unknown artist tries it for himself, he ends up in an unhealthy intimate relationship with something that inhabits the walls, speaks in a woman’s voice and provides him slimy pheromone-laced spores that intoxicate and charm other humans.

[eveandtheturtles]

For Donnie requests, if it tickles your fancy:

How about another one set in the tactical universe? (I so enjoyed the one you wrote for Leo when I asked last time)

Maybe a similar format to the last one but, say. Four times reader/OC (who is an art thief or whatever you like) outwits/outlucks/outruns/plain-old-tricks Don and one time he catches her?

But plot twist it was a game all along so it turns sweet or spicy (however you like, I'm down for and/or both)

(Eyyy, a returning customer! We like thay here! You said OC and activated my trap card tho lol)

Bayverse!Donnie and Kara in Tactical AU! (I am almost sure you guys are sick and tired of this ship lmao sorry xD

This one is getting a strong T!

Tactical AU belongs to @donathan

Here are my headcanons for my own spin to it if anyone is interested! And here is a link to Leo's version. Can't wait for someone to request Raph.

@madammuffins @turtle-babe83 @thelaundrybitch @sharpwindow @dilucsflame33 @pheradream15

(if anyone wants in on this list let me know!)

I. This case took him and his brothers all around the world. But it all began in New York after their handler gave them the order.

The Met event was fitting perfectly the M.O. of the thief. Donnie has been preparing himself for this. He studied extensively the previous crime scenes and had to admire the cleverness of it all.

He instructed the ground team on what to look for and how to behave. He himself kept his distance, for obvious reasons. They were going to monitor the event around the clock. The human team during the day, and the turtle brothers at night.

While the guests milled about the museum, Donnie was watching the feed from the cameras closely. This was the second day of surveillance. His sensors weren't picking up any suspicious activities either. Of course, he didn't expect the thief to be bold enough to do something during the day - this didn't fit the profile he built but all good thieves usually tried to scout their targets beforehand.

Donnie sighed and licked his lips. He switched to the computer database of all the security and staff that were currently at the museum. No one in particular stood out. Maybe he was wrong about it being the Met?

Once the gates to the museum closed it was turtle time.

The brothers took over from the day shift. As far as the security knew, they were just some special task force. The ski masks hid their faces and various leather straps disguised the shells as weird backpacks.

"This is so boring," Mikey whined over the comms. "You sure I can't liven up the place a little?"

"If you'd even think of setting off anything-!" Leo's warning resonated sharply in their ears.

The youngest snickered. "Chillax, bro, I was joking."

"Like you did in Budapest?" Raph snorted.

"That was an accident!"

"Let's make sure no more accidents happen," Leo warned him. "Especially not in the Met."

Donnie smiled listening to his brothers' banter as he patrolled the corridor he thought had the highest chance of being hit by the thief.

He listened keenly to any sound that would come his way. The empty corridors would echo them back to him. Unfortunately, it was all silent. Just the sound of his own breath coming back to him and the soft sound of his feet. The brothers were unnaturally quiet for their large size. When they wanted. Mikey usually could be heard three blocks away.

Donnie adjusted his night vision goggles as he entered a new area. He added his own security measures on top of the ones the museum had. There was no way the guy could escape them.

Suddenly one of his sensors tripped. The silent alarm got activated in one room. Donnie turned on his heel and ran.

"We have a hit!" He told the others and directed them to the correct location.

He got there first. Visor focused, looking for anything out of place. Nothing.

"What the-"

Suddenly, another alarm tripped. And another. And another. His whole grid lit up in red and he cursed. That fucker!!

"Donnie, what the hell is going on?!" Leo shouted over the comm.

"He is using my system as a smoke screen!" Donnie shouted back and cursed. He shut it down and popped the standard Met security.

Did he really figure out the system in one day? What the fuck was going on.

"He's in the Maya exhibit!"

"Raph!"

"On it, Fearless."

Motherfucker, Donnie cursed at himself and sprinted. He brought up the schematics of the room on his holoscreen.

"I have the visual!" Raph announced on the comms, which was immediately followed by a string of curses. "Stay still you slippery bastard!" And then. "I lost him but he is heading to the roof!"

Donnie smiled. Predictable.

"I'm on it!"

But then he came to a screeching halt. The fucker was heading to the main door! What?! Ballsy motherfucker.

Donnie jumped down the stairs.

"Freeze!" He got out his gun and fired a warning shot.

The thief didn't stop. Just kept running straight. Donnie followed. Then froze. The figure just passed through the glass door and the terrapin realized he was following a hologram.

"Please tell me one of you got him?" He asked his brothers, breathing heavily, feeling frustration building up.

"I saw him in the Danish exhibit but then he proofed!" Mikey responded.

"I thought I got him by the African exhibit," Leo said, his tone clearly indicating a similar failure.

Donnie cursed.

"You'll get him next time," Leo tried to comfort him.

"Yeah, thanks," he responded. The words were bitter in his mouth.

II. Weeks of intense research and work later the turtles were in Italy. Donnie once again figured out the thief would be there.

All the feed from the Met was tampered with and Donnie worked for hours to fix it. To just get three frames. Thankfully, he had seen the hologram. Raph also had a description, though not very helpful. "Short like a fucking kid and slippery like a weasel," he said. That much Donnie knew.

He managed to estimate the thief's height to be 150cm (about 4'10"). If they were dealing with a rowdy teen the turtle genius was going to be super pissed and impressed.

Right now he was riding on a huge adrenaline rush as he watched the thief through his scope. The guy was running away from Leo, who took the chase.

"I got you," Donnie muttered to himself. He aimed the shot. He wasn't going to kill the thief. Just incapacitate him with some tranquilizers.

It was the end of the road for their target either way. The line of houses ended and only a large plaza awaited. No escape.

The thief faced Leo. Then turned his head and looked straight at Donnie. The mask came off. Green skin - like the yellowing grass in autumn, face and bald, larger than average head dusted with freckle-like spots of various shades of brown, green and yellow. Pointed, pierced ears. The eyes, big, yellow, playful.

The thief winked and… just disappeared.

"Dude!" Mikey's voice activated the Comms. "The thief an alien!"

"Donnie, you okay?" Leo spoke up.

"You missed, nerd," Raph snickered. "So much for Mr. I-Never-Miss," he put on his Batman's voice.

"Shut up Raph," Donnie shot back. He was thinking intensely. She-, he was certain the thief was a she, looked straight at him. She knew his position. She led them to that corner of the street. This was all a game for her! "I need all your guys' phones!"

"Why?" Mikey whined. "I didn't do anything!"

Turns out Mikey did do something. A couple of days before he clicked some link on a website from his phone and that got the thief an entrance into their systems. That pissed off everyone and earned Mikey some extra training and cleaning time as well as a lecture on Internet safety.

What was concerning was that their criminal most likely got into their Top Secret files if she knew how to get to Mikey…. She knew who they were. Meanwhile, they knew nothing of her.

III. Next stop was Egypt. A short jump from Italy. They were going to monitor the Museum of Cairo. Why? Because right before he cleared all their electronics one message went through. “Up for another Caaper?”

When he checked the source it went dead. A burner phone. Now he had a dilemma. Either ignore it or follow… On one hand, it could have easily been a typo. On the other… In Cario there was a wooden statue of Ka-aper from the 5th Dynasty.

He chose to follow and that’s how they ended up there. Was she really going to steal the statue that was about a foot shorter than her? He thought back to the image of her in his mind. Who was he kidding, she absolutely would.

So they were staking out the museum. “Third time the charm, eh, Donnie?” Raph teased.

“Do you guys think she has like a spaceship? With lasers?” Mikey enthused over her. He wouldn’t shut up about the alien bit since Italy.

“You can ask her when we catch her,” Leo told him in a very tired voice.

Donnie didn’t join in on the conversation. He was in the room with the statue. Monitoring the screen, flipping through the feed from the cameras and paying attention to every single alarm there was. He didn’t want to miss any suspicious flicks or changes.

“Donnie, you alright over there?” Leo called to him, snapping him out of his focus.

“Yeah, yeah I’m here,” he responded.

“Anything moving?”

“Not yet…”

Why did she want to steal that particular statue?

Time ticked by… Suddenly he felt someone watching him. He turned around. Yellow eyes, right over his shoulder. He reacted immediately by throwing a punch at her. She was hanging by a rope from the ceiling. Pulling away, avoiding his fist by a hair. She flipped around. He pulled his gun and aimed at the rope. She kicked his hands and vaulted off the wall. He kicked at her legs and she fell on her back with an audible ‘oof’. He tried to grab her but she folded and jumped up to her feet. Punch, evade, retaliate. They danced across the floor.

He had to adapt himself to her small height, throwing him off a little. She had no problem with his.

Suddenly she reached for her belt and threw something at him. He ducked. She jumped again, using his knee as a boost and jumped over his back. He spun around. A puff of smoke in his face and his world went dark.

He didn’t know how long he was out. Mustn't have been long because she was still in the room, finishing up securing the statue to some ropes to pull it up. He groaned and got up.

“Stop,” he said, his voice hoarse. He reached to his thigh and pulled his second gun. Despite the headache his aim was steady.

She turned to him. Smiled. And pressed something on her forearm. A force yoinked him backward. Slamming him against the wall. He gritted his teeth. Magnets? When?, he thought angrily as he watched her ride up on the same rope she came down with.

She winked at him and blew him a kiss. 3-0.

IV. Donnie admitted that he may be a bit obsessed. The woman infuriated him and kind of… He dared not to go where his thoughts wanted.

His memory took him back to Italy and Egypt. Her bright yellow eyes, sparkling with mischief and excitement enthralled him. That confident smirk. He wanted to wipe it off of her face! He wasn’t sure how yet.

She tricked him three times! Them! She tricked them three times! Maybe the fourth time was the charm….

He knew his brothers were making some bets behind his back but he didn’t care.

They were in Tokyo, Japan, this time. She left him another clue in his pants while he was passed out.

His brothers were on the ground, while he stayed behind. Their eagle eyes. She wouldn’t slip past him again!

“I don’t think she’s gonna show up this time bro,” Mikey said. “You almost got her before, you think she’ll show up?”

“Thieves sometimes stop when they get scared but I doubt we scared her enough,” Leo sighed.

Donnie’s phone vibrated. He’d usually ignore it during the mission but this time… He quickly glanced at the screen.

After that one text she sent him before Egypt… Leo would probably yell at him so hard if he knew… But Donnie didn’t fully shut down one channel. He made it possible that if she wanted to contact him he’d be open for it.

And lo’ and behold. There was a text.

Unknown number: こんにちは！(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧ I left you something at this location~! Take it as a reward for almost catching me 4 times now! And thank you for missing in Florence ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎

Donnie jumped up to his feet and cursed.

“What’s up Donnie?” Leo checked in on him.

“I’ll be right back, this is important!” He tried to ease off the incoming protest, but also just in case he turned off his comm.

The attached location led him to a posh bar, just around the corner from the art gallery. He made sure his ski mask was on as he entered the establishment. Of course, all the eyes turned to him. Meanwhile, he only looked for one set of eyes. Unfortunately, she was nowhere to be seen.

“Excuse me,” he asked the bartender in Japanese, “something was supposed to be left here for me?”

The man eyed him, a bit fearfully but nodded. “What drink would you like, sir?”

“I’m just here to pick the item up.” Donnie tried to explain.

“The item is a drink and a letter for you after you get your drink.” The bartender insisted.

Donnie sighed. “Something fruity with rum then.” Why the hell not. Fuck it, they failed again. He might as well drink off the thieves tab. He waited for the drink to arrive before he lifted the mask up a little just enough for him to be able to drink. He took a sip. Damn it was good. He snorted and shook his head. This whole thing was so ridiculous.

As he was in the middle of his order the bartender slipped him a cream coloured envelope with a red lacquer stamp on it. Classy.

He broke the seal and opened the envelope. He read the letter.

Donnie smiled and shook his head. "God damn it."

He turned on his comm, which earned him an earful from both Leo and Raph.

"Guys, she's going to be in New York next," he told them.

"How do you know?"

"She told me," he said, draining the rest of his glass.

V. Was he annoyed that she was stringing him along so much? Probably. Was he excited to finally snap some handcuffs around her wrists? So, so much.

It wasn’t easy to find her. The riddle this time was a bit more complex than the one for Egypt and Japan. Then there was the matter of actually finding her in the urban jungle that was New York.

But when he did… He didn’t tell his brothers. It was his little secret. He didn’t want anyone following him there. He slipped from the compound when everyone else was asleep. The coordinates led him to a red brick building with an industrial elevator.

Thermal scanner told him where she was. He took the stairs as the safer option and climbed. Quietly, like a ghost he entered the large open-space. The wooden floor creaked under his steps and a loud bird attacked him. The creature wasn’t from Earth. It neither cawed nor barked. The noise was offending to his ears nevertheless.

Then a whistle. He saw her standing a couple feet away from him. She extended her arm and the bird perched on it. It had a muzzle and sharp teeth like a dog. scales mixed with feathers and claw tipped wings, almost like a bat. The legs were birdlike all-right. A long tail wrapped around the thieves arm securing it in the spot.

<Hello,> she signed. <I see you finally found me> She smirked.

<Thanks for the hint,> he signed back.

<You welcome.> She stroked the bird’s head and it purred. With a flick of her elbow it flew into the air again and sat somewhere among the pipes.

<So, how do you want to do this?> She asked. <I got some weapons for you to choose from.>

<I brought my own.> He reached to his belt and pulled out his collapsible bō staff.

She regarded him with an appreciative nod. Then she walked up to the wall. She pressed on a brick and a panel dropped down revealing a collection of staffs, spears and other weapons. She picked two thich sticks.

<Escrima?> He asked and she grinned. He got it.

They charged at each other. Blow after blow, the weapons clashed. She was nimble and fast, using her environment to her advantage. He, with the experience from Egypt, handled her better. No more blows that went over her head. She had to block him, make an effort to evade.

He hoped whatever they broke during the fight wasn’t something priceless.

Finally, he had her against the wall. Adrenaline buzzing in his ears. He hasn't won yet though. He knew it. Her golden eyes bore into his. Suddenly, both dropped their weapons and their mouths clashed.

The morning came, brutally invading Donnie’s eyes. He groaned and stirred trying to avoid it. When he couldn’t quite move his arm he looked up. One of his hands was handcuffed to the headboard and he smirked remembering that particular move.

He looked around. Karaa was sitting on the bed, eating a breakfast roll and smiling at him. She reached out and released his arm, which got a bit stiff.

<You’ll need to get dressed, your brothers and major Douche will be here soon,> she signed, smiling her usual impish smile. <Have some breakfast.>

<So, I passed?> He grinned.

<You will get points deducted for teamwork probably but…> she leaned down to kiss him. <I will give you some bonuses for performance.> She wiggles her eyebrows with her best bedroom eyes.

He got lost in their kiss but pulled back when a thought occurred to him.

<You will help me find Splinter?>

They started communicating after Florence. They didn't know at first who they'd be going in the against exercise. It was all part of it. Karaa though she found out things. And also being trapped by the US military she didn't see any objections in helping the boys out.

<Oh, yeah. They will not know what hit them.>

____________________________________________________

Bonus content!

*Text in Japanese above reads: "hello"

So I decided to do this one with the OG version of Kara.

Karaa (how the og spelling is, ye I know super original lol) was first created in 2014 as my Megamind OC. In the fandom we already had whole lot of Blue guys running around and... one Red, that came from desert part of the Meg's planet. I went like, so let's complete the traffic lights set and I made Karaa + the whole lore etc for jungle dwelling aliens of Megamind's planet.

This is how she'd look like. (art by Scarlette and Koda, I'm not sure of Scarlette's current handle it's been a while since 2014 XD)The earrings serve purpose also as disguise generators/cloaking devices.

Here's link to how Pi'ehra, her bird looks like.

I'll probably draw her tactical AU look soon!