#The Pokemon Distribution System

[theonlyren]

The Pokémon Distribution System

Some trainers catch Pokémon. Other trainers breed or inherit them.

And some trainers have Pokémon thrust upon them.

I often see posts about how some trainers less found or caught their most recent teammate and more that teammate decided "You, human, I like your vibes, you're taking care of me now" and then refused to leave. Shit, I've made posts like that. In the comments or tags, I often see this phenomenon referred to as "The Pokémon Distribution System," and these days it seems to be one of the more common and organic ways for trainers to build up their teams.

Frankly, I love it. So let's take a test.

Who among your Pokemon squad did you less catch or adopt and more they showed up and you couldn't or didn't want to get rid of them? For me, it's 3 out of my now 8 partners.

Aka, my Zoroark, Zorua at the time, came to me disguised as an Eevee, my Eevee, Vivi, when I was in Alola as a post-grad visitor to the trainer's school in Hau'oli. He saw all the attention Vivi was getting, since he was an adorable ass Eevee, and wanted in on that, so sneakily replaced him during lunchtime while the actual Vivi went and got lost wandering the city streets (we found him, obviously). Once the jig was up and he saw I was a good sport about it, he decided he didn't want to leave my side. We got his momma Zoroark's permission before I made off with him.

Jeanne, my Corviknight, Rookidee at the time, showed up on my front porch one day and refused to fucking leave. When I opened the door to try and shoo her away, she started pecking and attacking me instead. Had to bloody wrestle her down. I don't know what possessed me to physically pin her instead of getting any one of my, at the time, three fully evolved team members to blast her into next century, but apparently she respected that enough to never leave my side afterward.

And my newest member, Miranda, who's a Quaxly, showed up at my new house, floating in a daze in the backyard swimming pool. She was clearly depressed and fully out of it when I found her, so instead of trying to shoo her off, I took her in. Turns out her last human passed away rather abruptly and I was the closest neighbor with a pool. She's doing fairly well, but it's pretty obvious she's still coming to terms with her last human's passing.

Come to think of it, I'm pretty piss poor at going out and "wild catching" Pokemon overall. The entire rest of my team consists of rescues or adoptions!

[randoms-pokemon-garbage]

Had a thought while writing an AU version of the beginning of Ash's journey... With the time travel and all, how much does Professor Oak know regarding "Meowth but worse"?

He knows... a lot about what's going on. He's the first person who realistically would've found out, and him knowing these things takes a huge weight off of Delia's shoulders. He doesn't even react when Tracey reveals himself, laughing it off and then going about his business. Bear in mind that he's the only professor who's like this, and if the others got ahold of any of the fake humans, they'd be (respectfully) freaking the hell out.

[sp1derc1der]

I think there’d be a weredragon distribution system in the Draco Scaled AU

idk why. i think it’s cute

[lostkidbattan]

i have a basket full of bugs if anybody wants one

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Speaking of how the heroes are chosen, the temp system might be one of the worst writing choices the writers ever made. I mean I get it, permanent heroes would require the show to have continuity and it makes for yet another parallel with Gabriel, but it just ends up being another one of those instances of the show trying to have its cake and eat it too, like. The new heroes eat up screen time that could've gone to the OG duo, but they also don't get to be heroes in their own right and are essentially Ladybug's Pokemon. It makes both people who liked the duo and people who like team-based shows unhappy for no real benefit.

It's also just a massive security risk. Fu says that it's dangerous for the Miraculous to be out in the open, but it's actually way less risky to put the Miraculous in circulation, because then Hawk Moth has to retrieve them by defeating every hero individually, which is a lot more effort. Keeping them all in one place and distributing them one at a time like this means Hawk Moth only has to figure out who's in charge of the distributing and follow that person right to the Miracle Box. Ferrying the Miraculous for every battle also creates more opportunities to lose them, which is how Queen Bee ended up happening.

Looking back, the problems of just about every season finale past S1 can be traced back to this system. It's almost like the writers are trying to set Marinette up to fail.

Ladybug's Pokemon

I love that phrasing! I've just called them her powerups, but this paints a much clearer picture of what I mean. They're not her autonomous teammates who feel vital to the story. They're her cute little friends who do whatever she says. All she has to do is pick which ones she wants for today's battle.

Fu says that it's dangerous for the Miraculous to be out in the open, but it's actually way less risky to put the Miraculous in circulation, because then Hawk Moth has to retrieve them by defeating every hero individually, which is a lot more effort.

Ferrying the Miraculous for every battle... creates more opportunities to lose them, which is how Queen Bee ended up happening.

These are two of my biggest issue with the temp heroes as a general concept. Fetching them every battle gives Gabriel endless chances to find out the temp heroes identities and/or where the guardian is hiding. I don't know why the show acts like the problem was Ladybug forgetting to detransform in Heart Hunter:

Ladybug: Master Fu, I need your help! Master Fu: (sees Ladybug, gasps) This costume is very cute, miss, but is it really fitting in this place? Ladybug: (gasps) I forgot to transform back. (Looks arounds enters the center of the merry-go-round trying to remain unseen) I haven't been followed Master, I'm sure of it.

Nathalie would have been able to track Ladybug either way. At least this way Marinette's identity stayed a secret!

It would make infinitely more sense for Fu to be the one to hand out the miraculous to the temp heroes for two reasons. The first one was laid out above. Having him or some other support character do it is the best way to keep his identity a secret. You should not have Ladybug leaving battles to do it. That's too easy to track because the villains know where she's going to be when she goes running off for help.

The other reason is because it's asinine to have Ladybug run off every time they face a major threat. Think about that logic for a second.

Ladybug: This akuma is too hard for us to fight as a duo! Chat Noir, you stay here and fight this super hard akuma alone while I go get reinforcements. I'll be back in half an hour or so. Chat Noir: Wait, what? How am I supposed to- Ladybug: Have fun! Don't die! Bye!

How did that never backfire on them? I get temp heroes being temp for a few fights, but they should have all been given their miraculous full time ages ago.

[supremefloof]

tbhx pokemon au!

"It is said that Trainers with Victini always win, regardless of the type of encounter." - bw pokedex

yap + bonus w/ reshiram below

The enigmatic reigning champion, 'X' remains undefeated since winning the 19th Tournament.

would the tbhx characters still be heroes in this AU? would they keep their powers? is there still a trust value system? idk.

I was wondering about if X is the only one with a legendary/mythical but then I thought about drawing Moon with Hoopa

instead, to distinguish X as special, he's got a shiny Victini, which has never been distributed and is only possible to obtain by hacking. It also happens to match his color scheme perfectly!!

maybe he's got an action replay lmfaoo

He uses premier balls for his team to match his color scheme and because they look cool you get them FREE with a purchase of 10 pokéballs!

Two reasons why his other pokémon is Pidove:

1. Pidove is a common pokémon for common people, which matches with his salaryman alter ego. fun fact that I found on serebii: Pidove spawn in the Castelia City park, and there is exactly one clerk in the city who will battle you with a Pidove.

2. bird theory

If I do more, I was wondering if I should assign everybody a legendary. I'm also super super biased so I immediately wanted to stick Reshiram to X because Reshiram's my favorite legendary and happens to be white.

To be fair to myself though, it might work because Reshiram is the Truth and X is described as "seeing the truth of the world". Plus, if X wants to change the system then he might align with Reshiram who helps those who want to build a world of truth.

again, I'm extremely biased towards Unova. A disproportionate amount of my favs are from Unova. I was thinking Queen with Cobalion?

if I do end up doing the 1 legendary or mythical/character idea then I think E-Soul would either have Regieleki (fast electricity) or Genesect (old thing with gun)

I was debating whether to put this on my pokemon sideblog, but ultimately I'm just gonna rb it there i think

feel free to suggest stuff!

edit: pt 2

[critterbitter]

I'm wheezing over Ingo and Litwick's dynamic jgjbjjxjsjwkfiisiq and TYNAMO FITTING INTO EMMET'S SCARF IS SOOO CUTE!! Love how you draw the little sbubby bois, their conductor themed outfits are soo freaking cute!!!

I have so many thoughts when it comes to them it’s insane. Glad you like the characterizations!

Here’s a quick one shot under the cut, as a treat for making it this far.

Emmet finds Tynamo three months before Ingo meets Litwick. Ingo has some thoughts.

Ingo and Emmet are part of a pair.

If Emmet is the fuck around and find out, then Ingo’s been relegated amused damage control. This has always been the case, right up until Emmet found tynamo. Then suddenly, it’s “wow emmet, you’re so responsible!” “Golly gee Emmet, what do you mean you don’t want to go exploring the cave systems after dark?” “Gee whizz, what do you mean curfew for your eel puppy?” “Why in Reshiram do you get to have a whole pokemon three months before we agreed to get starters, and i don’t?”

Ingo doesn’t say the last part. He’s a bitter world-weary twelve year old languishing about the unfairness of the pokestray distribution system, but he also loves his brother. Emmet found an injured tynamo in chargestone cave and decided to help— tynamo decided to stay. It’s every child’s film plot. Ingo being a grouchy gengar makes him objectively a terrible friend.

Oh dragons, is Ingo a bad brother?

“Ingo!”

Speak of the cold, and he shall enter. Ingo swings his whole body around to better brace for the flying tackle.

“Emmet!”

“I am emmet! You are sulking.”

Ingo clicks his mouth closed and tries not to sulk harder. He fails.

“You are not being verrrry convincing, brother dearest.”

“I do not have any idea what you are going on about,” Ingo’s traitorous mouth blurts. “Be convinced I love you and am not planning dastardly plots.”

Do not think about getting a ground typed starter. Do not think about getting a ground typed starter.

Emmet shoots him a judgemental look from under the brim of his hat. Ingo glowers back, and slowly starts leaning forward, smooshing Emmet under his weight.

“Ttttell me why you look like a crushed joltik.”

“Keep this up and you are going to be the crushed joltik.”

Anyways, Emmet is becoming more bold by the day and even actively discussing electric types with the new girl in elementary prep, Elesa. Ingo thinks she’s cool, but she flinched when he blurted a once again too loud greeting so he’s… letting that cool off. They definitely don’t have anything to talk about beyond pokemon, and Emmet and her already have pokemon. Ingo feels a bit left out.

Caught in the ennui of not having a blitzle or tynamo, Ingo slips as Emmet rolls out from under him. The two go down in an ungraceful tangle of limbs.

“Tell. Me. What’s. Wrong.” Emmet gently slaps Ingo’s face like a ripe oran berry. “You want to tell me sooo badly. Ooh.”

“Emmet- aurgh. Gerroff’”

“I don’t speak denial.”

Ingo gives up. His entire body deflates. Emmet, not expecting the sudden loss of spinal infrastructure, slides sideways and knees Ingo’s lungs.

Ingo wheezes. “I’m sulking because you were crushing my spine.”

“Tell me the truth.”

Uh oh. Ingo studies Emmet’s face. It’s the same one he looks into the mirror with, but marred with concern and self consciousness. Ingo made Emmet worry. He’s not just a bad twin. He’s the worst.

“You are Emmet.”

“I am Emmet.”

“You have Tynamo.”

“Tynamo’s charging at home.”

Smart ass! Emmet knows what Ingo means. And by Emmet’s smug grin, Emmet knows too.

Ingo struggles to explain that Emmet has Tynamo, and Elesa, and… that’s only two other individuals. He is truly the worst twin in all the land. Emmet gets two new friends and Ingo’s being an infant about it.

One day, Ingo will have his own pokemon partner and team— but right now, Ingo only gets to have Emmet.

Ingo feels this is an unfair trade equivalent, but he does not want to say it in a way that sounds rude, so he stalls.

Emmet has no such prefunctures. He squints at Ingo, who avoids eye contact and squirms. “You are… jealous?” He tilts his head in visible confusion. “What?”

Ingo covers his face with his hands, defeated.

“You arrrre jealous!” Emmet cries, bewildered. “Why??”

Ingo lets out an unintelligible wheeze. Emmet remembers he still has a knee on Ingo’s chest, and hastily sits back.

“I don’t want to be jealous,” Ingo finally bursts. “I am very happy for you Emmet! You and Tynamo are a winning combination!” His voice cracks embarrassingly. Emmet doesn’t flinch at the volume, even muffled under Ingo’s palms. “I don’t want to be a bad brother being jealous.”

“You aren’t a bad brother, Ingo.”

“I am. I am angry that you found your starter and I haven’t. I’m sad I interrupted your schedule with my inane demands. I have made you feel like you did something wrong. I apologize.”

Peeking between Ingo’s fingers, Emmet’s face falls. Ingo wants to be struck by a giga impact rather than face this. He would rather be a dusty imprint. Where is Uncle Drayden’s Haxorous when you need her?

“Ingo, Ingo listen to me.” Emmet’s hands dart forward to settle Ingo’s shoulders. The pressure is grounding. Real. This is where Emmet tells Ingo he’s being stupid.

He hears Emmet exhale.

“I’m sorry.”

Wait, that doesn’t sound right. “Pardon?”

“I wanted to train Tynamo as my conductor, and I left our two-car train unmaintained.”

“Pardon??”

Emmet looks uncomfortable and sad. It makes Ingo uncomfortable and sad. “Yesterday night. When you wanted to go to the caves. For our weekly charting. I said I’d rather help Tynamo.”

Oh. Yeah, Ingo remembers that. It had stung. “You are not obligated to say yes,” he protests. “In fact, you should say no more. You always say yes.”

“Yes.”

“What did I just say.”

“No. You’re my brother. I left you out.”

Ingo slowly puts down his hands. His face still feels warm, but he feels less scared. Now he just feels embarrassed. He can’t help but let out a meek plea slip. “Don’t go where I can’t follow, Emmet. Please.”

“I would never! We are going on our pokemon journey together, yep yep. You, me, tynamo, and whoever your starter will be!”

The two sit there on the side of the dirt road. Emmet’s declaration sounds like a dangerous promise. Ingo realizes at that moment he would do anything for his brother, who’s his best friend and confidant and world, starter or no starter. He opens his mouth to tell Emmet that.

“Wwwwwait. You are trying to go back to the caves. Ingo! Are you trying to find a starter by yourself!?”

Never mind. Emmet’s gone for his soft underbelly, and Ingo’s in pain. “Emphasis on trying,” he mutters instead. The joltik are not interested in him. The local tynamo swarm fled. A curious drilbur had sniffed him once, turned up its nose, and then trundled into the wall.

“…ah.”

Nothing had felt right for Ingo— too scared, too judgemental, or too uninterested. He’s starting to accept that maybe none of the pokemon in this town area match his truth or ideals.

Emmet was quiet for a long time. He had his thinking face on, so Ingo did not interrupt. He took the time instead to look up at the sky, watching the giant puff of clouds drift by. A plume of swabloo lazily inches their way across the horizon.

A shadow falls over Ingo. Emmet dusts himself off, and helps drag his twin to his feet. The two sway, clasping hands.

“We’ll ask Uncle Drayden,” Emmet decides, and Ingo is enthralled by the sheer truth of that statement. “He’ll let us use the subway! And you can look elsewhere, for a starter who is ideal for you. Wwwwith me and Tynamo, instead of by yourself.”

“Truly?” Uncle Drayden is a scary man.

Emmet nods. It’s easy to talk to Emmet— he just says words that Ingo would spend hours ruminating on. “I am verrrry persuasive.”

“You mean staring at him from the corner until he cracks?”

“Brother, you know me so well!”

Ingo cant help but laugh. He still feels guilty and bad for feeling envious, but a world with emmet by his side is significantly less hostile. Emmet’s hand is warm in his.“Thank you!” He cheers, startling himself with his volume. “Bravo,” he tried in a quieter tone.

“Bravo!!” Emmet replies, pointedly louder. Ingo squawks as Emmet pulls him off balance. “You are my brother! We’re going to find you a starter!”

Ingo tugs back just as fiercely. “Bravo!! We are going to harass Uncle Drayden into letting us board the train!”

Emmet leans with his whole body, dragging Ingo into the fulcrum of his centrifuge. “BRAVO! YOU ARE GOING TO HELP ME WITH TYNAMO’S TRAINING!”

Ingo digs his heels in, and then stumbles. “BRAVO, I, what?”

Emmet looked distinctly patrat-esque. “We’re in this together, Ingo. No backing out now.”

Ingo thought about it long and hard. He gets to see his brother get electrocuted. But he will, also, most likely, get electrocuted.

(Tynamo is Emmet’s starter. But maybe, it can also be Ingo’s friend.)

But brother say brother do, and Ingo’s probably obligated to run damage control if Emmet decides to, say, shove a fork into an outlet for Tynamo to snack on.

(Emmet fucks around. Ingo finds out. Even two steps apart with new people between, this is the way of their world.)

“Alright,” he crumbles. When they step this time, they step in sync. “We do this. Together.” (Enjoy this? Here's the link to the rest of my rat crimes.)

[pebbleisgay]

IN STARS AND TIME POKEMON AU!!!!!

SPOILERS AHEAD (End of Act 3 Spoilers!)

(crackling knuckles) okay so here's Siffrin! They have a phantump and Mimikyu when the quest starts- both shiny- but neither that he actively sought out. More like they snuck into his stuff and well you know how the cat distribution system works, they're his team now. Later in the quest the mimikyu's disguise was pretty beaten up and the party helped make it one that looks like Siffrin (hat included!).

The zorua however appears when Siffrin wakes up after having seen the red star, new pokeball in hand and not enough time to figure out what's inside before Mirabelle a greets them. The Zorua's pokeball keeps its red, too! It's the only pokemon of Siffrin's team that remembers the loops and as such, it's the only pokemon that keeps its levels through them.

[rockdwarftv]

So, you wanna play a Pokémon TTRPG

But you don't have the time to manage 1K entries in a book? Well, I'm working on the thing for you! PokéD6.

Now that I've show you my character sheet concept, let me break down some of the things on it. The biggest thing anyone will notice right away is the lack any numbered stats. This system converts existing BSTs (Base Stat Totals) into a 6 point grade. Above, each black diamond (✦) represents one point of that stat's grade. And any pre-existing pokemon can have it's BST quickly converted by simply dividing any given stat's total by 36 and rounding up, to a max of 6! Each grade also has an associated number of dice, which are always equal to the grade itself, and an associated modifier. A stat's modifier is equal to it's grade plus it's IVs. IVs, represented by the hollow diamonds (✧), have also been simplified down into a single dice roll per stat. So, whenever you capture a new pokemon, roll 6d6. Like with stat grades, each diamond represents the IVs value. IVs cap out at 3.

But, you may find yourself asking, what do Stat Dice and Stat Modifiers even do?

Currently, they're for combat! While the attack itself determines how much damage it can do, the pokemon's stats determine if the attack hits, it's minimum damage, how hard they are to hit, and even how much they can reduce the damage! When attacking, say with a Physical Move, the attacking pokemon rolls 1d6 + their ATK Modifiers against the defending pokemon's DEF Modifier + 3. If the attack hits, roll the move's Power and add any bonuses given. Such as Same Type Attack Bonus (STAB) or type effectiveness. The defending pokemon rolls their DEF Dice, subtracting their result from the Power roll.

Power has now been converted into d6s, to find a pre-existing move's Power divide it's power by 25 and round up! With the exception of very high damaging moves, most moves deal 1d6 to 6d6 damage.

So a move like Tackle deals 2d6 damage.

I could go on, but for now I want to leave this here and just see what people think! I've enjoyed working on it and am pretty close to being able to do a simple beta of it. So, have a copy of the pdf and lemme know what you think!

EDIT (4/20/24): Yo what if I just suddenly dropped even more rules in this post? Yea? Yea! So here's how trainers work!

Trainers are divided into four Careers; Field Researcher, League Challenger, Contest Coordinator and Pokemon Breeder! These careers determine starting gear, recommend a set of skills (more on those later!!!), and determine how the player can make money. Field Researchers are basically the intern equivalent of a Professor's Aide! They go out, encounter as many new pokemon as possible, and get paid a weekly salary! They can even earn bonuses for finding odd pokemon, such as ones with unusual movesets~! League Challengers are pokemon trainers like in the games! Beat gyms, get badges, take on the champion. Easy as! They get paid based on the trainers they defeat, which can be picked up at a PokeCenter or just given to them immediately. Contest Coordinators focus on training pokemon for Gen 3 style'd Contests! They make money by winning contests, with each rank paying out higher rewards! And lastly, Pokemon Breeders! Like the name says, they make their money by breeding and raising pokemon at the requests of the Pokemon League or other trainers. The more specific the request, the more money they earn for it!

Trainers also have skills! These work a lot like Stat Grades, but they don't have an associated modifier. When making a trainer, a player picks 6 skills out of 12. Players then have 18 points to distribute however they want into those 6 skills, up to a maximum of 5. The other skills are left at 1. The skills available are: Archeology, Cheering, Climbing, Cooking, Fishing, Foraging, Knowledge, Nursing, Riding, Sneaking, Spotting and Swimming!

I'm currently working on reformatting the doc so enjoy the new tidbits for now! See you again when I've finished the doc!

[bogleech]

What’s stopping the Mortasheen monsters with psychic weaponry from soundly overturning the balance of predation? Aside from the relatively few species that naturally resist it via distributed or inorganic brains, it seems like even the most heavily armed creatures would be pretty defenseless against rudimentary psychic attacks.

I guess people are used to "psychic powers" being really OP in a lot of media, but Mortasheen is a Pokemon-style world where psychic powers aren't automatically godlike. Using them requires concentration and your target's mind can still fight back even if it's just a little creature. Lorewise, psychic abilities only exist in Mortasheen because of a biological "wireless internet" system, which is enabled through biotech microorganisms that for centuries have saturated the global environment. So by now even rats have a little web connectivity, but not just anyone can hack a rat and steer it around. Even the rat's brain might damage your own in retaliation. It also follows Freddy Kreuger rules, where the psychic attack plays out in your subconscious like a dream world and your own imagination can "battle" the invading being.

[ominoose]

𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐜 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐊𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐒𝐲𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐦 𝐇𝐂'𝐬

Character(s): Steven Grant, Marc Spector, Jake Lockley Summary: Not x reader, just random silly thoughts about the lads. Kinda summer themed. They're still in London. This came out more British than intended. Warnings: None

𝐒𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐆𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐭

Now that he's not constantly tired and getting two hours of sleep every fifth night if he's lucky, the Brit goes between quiet moments with a book on the couch to hyperactive spiels with no warning.

The newfound energy also takes his sass and mischief to the next level. If Marc or Jake (usually Marc, Jake's too scared) piss him off he will not drop it. For days Steven will slyly bring it up, make offhand remarks or fully kick up the argument again. It's never serious, he's still the one to step in if the other two are at arms, but Steven is no pacifist. "Y'know I just bought all these ingredients to make a lovely homecooked dinner with enough leftovers for Jake's taxi shifts and Marc's workouts... But-" "Steven please, we're starving, come on." "Since my cooking apparently tastes like a grannies garden!" "Por favor, I didn't even say it, Marc did-" "But you didn't disagree bruv!"

Takes Eurovision seriously. He made a point of not watching the BBC broadcast this year, although he's kept tabs on it through other websites. He's still not over last year. Jake tried to look into it and made a small comment about listening to the winner, commenting on Sweden's contestant being good. Steven went on a rant for a good twenty minutes about how it was rigged before Jake learned this was a lot more than a friendly song contest.

Whines when its hot out and forces Marc or Jake to front outside. Then forces them to buy a Mr Whippy for him to front and eat.

𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐜 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫

Gets really into British football. It started with hearing chants and noises outside on match days, the comradery and stupid sing-songs from fans in matching team colours bringing him a sense of nostalgia. He's still a diehard cubs fan, but going to the local pub to watch the match, getting a healthy outlet to yell and bang a table amidst others oddly suited him. Steven's just glad he's socializing.

Secretly folds up Stevens more "colourful" shirts and hides them.

Loves British chocolate, hates British crisps. He see's a packet of pickled onion Monster Munch and physically cringes away.

While Steven fronted and browsed through a charity shop, Marc spotted an old ds, just like one he had as a kid. The Brit could physically feel him eye it up from the inside and bought it. Now Marcs post-workout routine includes playing Pokemon.

Marc gets visibly sad and sighs whenever they phone in pizza because its never like the ones back home in Chicago.

Loves a greggs sausage roll.

𝐉𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐋𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐞𝐲

Half the reason the other two found out about him was when the old lady that Steven scared off in the elevator to the point she avoided them like the plague suddenly smiled and offered them tea. Turns out Jake had been helping her carry the shopping back to the flat when they bumped into each other. Their odd tea and biscuit afternoons helped Jake keep tabs on the boys.

Naps in front of the telly, usually to some reality tv like Eastenders, snoring away. The moment Steven or Marc slowly try to control the arm holding the remote he jerks away, pulling it to his chest and telling them off because he's still "watching" it.

Knows Marc folds and hides Stevens shirts that he hates. He puts them at the top of the pile just before Steven fronts. Marc has no clue and it drives him nuts.

His favourite passengers to pick up are drunk women. They're always either very funny or tell the most downright devious gossip, never afraid to openly include him in it too.

Made a solemn vow to himself that if he ever drove past Rishi Sunak he'd egg him.

Since he prefers night-shifts, the cat distribution system seemed to give him an 90% chance of meeting kittens on the street. If he has a passenger when he spots the little critter he'll make a mental note to return after drop off, Jake Lockley will not pass a chance at checking up on and cradling a gatita. Marcs learnt to be somewhat present during these shifts to stop Jake sneaking home with several kittens in his coat.

[gotta-pet-em-all]

Pokemon-induced healing

And why you fuckers shouldn't rely on it for everything, Arceus fuck stop forcing your poor Chansey to take care of wounds that you should seriously go to the hospital for

* * * * *

okay. SO. To preface this, I volunteered in a Pokemon center for a while. And while this was just a volunteer position and not something I had medical training for, I've also got personal experience. Due to my poor coordination and shitty connective tissue, I tend to fall over, bump into things, and bruise very easily. So trust me when I say I know what I'm talking about.

So, how does pokemon healing work?

That's a fucking complicated question. So, let's start with the healing moves and narrow it down. The main ones I'm going to be talking about here are Heal Pulse, Life Dew, and Floral Healing.

Actually no I'm not qualified to talk about Floral Healing. If any comfey trainers wanna add on, feel free.

Heal pulse and life dew! So, Heal Pulse is the one I have the most familiarity with, and it's essentially a wave of energy that encourages your body to accelerate the natural healing process. No, it does not artificially age you, and it will not reduce your lifespan, but let's be real for a moment. If you get injured and need healing that much, your lifespan may be in danger for other reasons.

However. There are other dangers to it that really aren't talked about a lot, namely: repairing tissue damage, and infection. There are a lot of situations in which heal pulse can be risky:

-injured person has an artificially suppressed or otherwise compromised immune system.

-injured person has a heart condition, particularly where arrhythmia is a symptom

-injury is infected or contains foreign substance

-dead tissue is still attached to affected area

And I'm gonna break down one by one, why all of these are bad!

So, it's not quite as well known, but heal pulse actually does have an impact on the immune system. In ancient times, it was believed that cursed pokemon would make you sick when they healed you, but in actuality, this phenomenon was simply the pokemon kicking the immune system into gear for a minor/dormant infection that would have happened anyways. However, this can be dangerous for people with a compromised immune system, because you're basically trying to squeeze blood from a stone. In most cases, it can make their immune systems worse, and while this is thankfully temporary, it's still deeply unpleasant and may interfere with someone's plans because you've abruptly shunted them to the hospital when they were going to have brunch with the girls this week instead.

Next is arrhythmia. I've got this one, it flares up from time to time. I cannot stress enough that disabled people are everywhere. We don't just exist as tokens at the edge of your imagination. We're probably at the grocery store or on public transportation. It may just be that I'm a bit jaded, but it pisses me off more than anything that I have to experience symptoms when I would love to be frolicking through the woods. Anyways, heal pulse relies on the heartbeat to synchronize with and distribute the energy-- so when the heartbeat is uneven? Things can start getting a lil fucky. Usually this results in dizziness, nausea, feeling flushed, and on rare occasions fainting. People with heart conditions are more common than you think, please ask us before messing with our bodies.

Third thing is infections. Remember how I said that heal pulse kicks your immune system into overdrive? Well, the immune system is responsible for expelling all foreign matter from your system, not just illness. This is why you'll want to make sure to clean a wound first, unless it's urgent. You can skip the wound cleaning part if it's an emergency, but... it's not really pretty. Seriously. I don't advise it.

Fourth reason! Okay, so, this is gonna be a little gross, but let's say you trip and skin your knee. It's bleeding, you've got a weird little flap of skin hanging off. Normally, that skin will turn white (or at least it does for me; I have light skin, but I'm told it may turn a pale greyish color for people with dark skin. That said, I'm gonna be real. I do not want to look up pictures, so I am trusting the dark skinned folks reading this to know what dead/peeling skin looks like for them) and eventually fall off. HOWEVER. If you apply heal pulse to it? There's a decent chance that your body may attempt to revitalize the dead skin at the same time as it scabs over the wound and then the skin closes up and eats the scab. It won't kill you, and eventually the extra flap of skin will die, but it's still. Geh. It's really not pleasant. Don't do it.

If this sounds fucking horrifying, that's because it is! All of these things are fucking horrifying to happen to your body! Don't ask me how I know this!

Now that you've all been suitably terrified of the dangers of heal pulse, let me introduce you to an alternative: life dew! Life dew does not interfere with arrhythmia, can be stored with special preparation, and generally has much weaker effects. It tends to help with the process of clotting and scabbing more so than healing, so if you've made any mistakes, they're generally easier to remedy.

Pokemon healing, like any other type, requires consent. Yes, there are exceptions-- sometimes a person cannot reasonably consent in their current state, or there was an accident with a wild scyther and consent is the last thing on your mind with all the blood everywhere. Even so, please always keep in mind that you need to respect the sanctity of other people's bodies and take accountability for your actions as a trainer.

That's all!

[seapiglet]

hm

I've seen a LOT of shaming going round at the moment, both here and on twitter, of people who are seeking out good omens spoilers, mostly by those who have watched the new episodes in advance. despite what neil and david and michael may have said on the subject, it's rubbing me the wrong way! so I feel the need to make a potentially unpopular post about

✨SPOILERS AND NEURODIVERSITY✨

(and accessibility) 🤚🏼

now I cannot speak for everybody here but as an autistic person with ocd I actually !prefer! being spoiled ahead of time and will frequently read the entire wiki article for a show I'm about to watch (though weirdly CANNOT skip ahead with books?) in order to alleviate anxiety around the unexpected. trust me when I say that knowing what will happen in advance *enhances* the experience for me and I have yet to regret being deliberately spoiled, even when it comes to my absolute favourite things on earth, things I may have been waiting months and months (or in this case years) for. in fact, the longer I've had to wait, the more the feeling of gut-twisting anxiety and uncertainty beds down in my system and makes itself a very unwelcome house guest.

it's all very well insisting that everybody just be patient and ~wait and see~ but for a lot of neurodiverse folks this can be a very unsettling prospect. personally, I don't like surprises! I don't crave the sensation of being shocked by an unforeseen twist! it makes me do a panic! even the thought of it makes me feel deeply uncomfortable.

we're not simply throwing our toys out the pram because we WANT something and we WANT IT NOW (shout out to verruca salt). there is a soothing comfort and stability to predictability that is difficult to explain to somebody who doesn't experience this.

at this point I should mention that OBVIOUSLY not all neurodiverse/autistic/diagnosed-ocd people feel this way but that doesn't negate the fact that a lot of us do and there's not much we can do about it.

I'm aware that everybody's currently moralising about the rightness/wrongness of illicitly distributing and trading nuggets of forbidden information like crack-laced pokemon cards* (surely in this fandom everything should exist in a grey area?) but please don't jump on this as an opportunity to prove who's the most terribly righteous and which of us gets to wear the Super Duper Bestest Fan Neil's Favourite prefect badge for the day. devolving into needless factions and one-upmanship so near to the official airdate does nobody any good.

on another personal note (this is the 👂🏼♿accessibility♿👂🏼bit) I was due to attend one of the screenings and now can't due to the apparent lack of subtitles. pleeeeeaase think of accessibility, amazon. please? some of us have severely messed up ears and/or auditory processing disorders - it's not hurting anybody to have the words up on the screen but it excludes many of us if you don't.

again, if you think it's terrible and wrong to want to be spoiled or to share spoilers you are well within your rights to think that, and of course I encourage anybody who is participating in a bit of blackmarket spoiler dealing to utilise ALL the tags you can think of to keep it secret (keep it safe), or simply leave it to the DMs, but I really don't see the good in shaming others who feel differently.

uhh thank you and good day 🎩

(*hopefully that still scans - my references are as ancient and ephemeral as my knee cartilage)

[pkmnirl]

I was wondering, what exactly are Pelipper/Musharna Mail/Malice and Magic Anons? I see them all the time on other blogs and I'm a little confused.

EDIT 3/14: Mixed up Pelipper Malice and Pelipper Unmail. Terms have been updated!

EDIT 3/20: Added an explanation of Union Circle.

Sure thing! Those are very in-community terms so I can't blame folks for getting confused. I'll try and provide a definition for each, let me know if you have further questions! I'm wording these a bit different than usual, trying to focus more on terms like sender and receiver rather than muse, mun, or anon, so that this is hopefully easy to read for everyone.

Pelipper Mail - Inspired by pokemon mystery dungeon, where the post office is operated by a group of pelipper hand (wing?) delivering packages and letters. It's used when someone wants to deliver something to the receiving blog. Typically it is delivered by a pelipper itself, but sometimes receiving blogs will decide Pelipper Mail refers to a postal delivery service operated by people or a sender's mail is delivered by a specific pokemon instead. It can be delivered to the receiver's address or directly to them wherever they are, depending on what the receiving blog may want!

Pelipper Malice - Similar to Pelipper Mail, but the package is intended to cause the receiver distress in some sort of way.

Pelipper Unmail- A jokey subversion of Pelipper Mail. The pelipper/pokemon steals something from the receiver's house.

Mystery Gift - Not included on the list of things you asked about, but its a similar concept to Pelipper Mail, so I wanna explain it here. Mimicking the mainline games and their mystery gift feature, a character is sent something by another user using a code in place of an address. This version allows for the receiver to reject packages in-character if they do not want to redeem the gift. It also allows for the receiver's information to be completely anonymous in-universe, if the receiver does not want people to know their location for whatever reason. Kind of like a PO box as they are redeemed via the PC system.

Some also use mystery gifts for in-universe accounts distributing promotional codes. For example, the Kalos Pokemon League may release a code that anyone can redeem at a local pokemon center or pokemart to receive 10 free potions. This code can only be used once per trainer ID.

Musharna Mail - The sender gives the receiver a specific dream. How that dream is interpreted by the receiver is up to the blog. May be a vague prompt or may be something more complex or specific.

Musharna Malice/Darkrai Mail - Another subversion of another inbox game. The sender gives the receiver a specific nightmare. Once again, interpretation is left up to the receiver.

Magic Anons - A popular concept in inbox based roleplaying communities and is extremely broad compared to these other more niche terms. The simplest definition is a sender gives a condition and a criteria that must be met for the condition to be resolved for the receiver.

Example: "The receiver's skin and hair turns purple for 5 asks." For the next 5 inbox messages the receiver answers, they will be the color purple! Follow up inbox messages may be about how this came to happen, how the receiver intends to resolve this dilemma, or how the receiver is coping with the condition, or they may be about something completely unrelated! It might be more about how the receiver is trying to ignore this condition, and the comedy or drama that may result. Maybe the receiver really likes this condition, and is lamenting it ending.

Magic anons are mainly used to give blogs absurdist prompts, typically not tied to anything specific. Some blogs may for this reason consider them to be completely non-canon, and all in good fun.

Union Circle - Used as a means of blog crossovers referencing the multiplayer function in Scarlet and Violet. Characters in a union circle scenario are able to interact with one another in-person when typically they would be otherwise unable to. In-game Union Circles connect users by means of teleportation and allows cross-play between game versions, even if this alters available pokemon and seems to connect the game universes, so ostensibly this can bridge distances and canons in roleplay as well.

Remember! You are never required to respond to inbox prompts that make you uncomfortable. If you do not like a magic anon or a musharna malice prompt you received gives you an icky feeling you can and should delete them. These are intended to be fun prompts, and never should be treated like an obligation. Hope this helps you!

-Mod Sneasel

[kooldewd123]

alright, pokemon day in a week, and i've got some thoughts! mostly about what i hope to see from plza here, but some other stuff, too

plza predictions:

i think this game will be a sequel to xy, not another past adventure like pla. that reveal trailer did not give off past vibes to me. (plus i think a sequel just sounds more interesting to me for a variety of reasons.)

regardless of whether it takes place in the past or future, i don’t think time travel will play a particularly large part in this game. kalos just isn’t a region that has a lot of ties to that stuff, especially compared to sinnoh.

eternal flower floette. since we know it was in the xy files but never distributed, i have a feeling they had more plans for it that never came to fruition, and i think za is probably gonna reincorporate some of their scrapped plans for z. admittedly this is the one prediction i feel least sure about, but hey, you’ve gotta have at least one of those, right?

i don’t think it’s gonna have the same sort of action-adventure gameplay as pla did. it doesn’t seem like the sort of thing that would adapt itself well to a city environment. i feel like this game gonna do something fresh.

i do think the pla quest system will be retained, however. that just feels like a natural fit, since i assume we’re developing lumiose city over the course of the game like a larger-scale version of jubilife village.

i don’t know if this is the sort of thing we’ll get in this trailer, but i think abilities and maybe held items will make a comeback after being absent in pla. i feel like it would be weird to bring back megas without abilities, since those are what make or break a lot of them. held items are a coin flip - they could just do the mega stones like they did in pla instead.

summer release seems reasonable, right? uuuhh, let’s go with june. sure.

plza wishlist:

i want alternate forms besides just new megas. regional variants or something of that sort. i don’t want every new design in this game to just be another mega evolution that’ll get left behind when we move away from megas again.

i don’t want any mega evolutions that aren’t for third-stage pokemon. now that the game have started giving old pokemon new evolutions again, i would rather they stick with that as much as they can and use megas solely when normal evolution isn't a viable option.

show us that megas are actually important to the story. it’s crazy to me how you only ever fight like three megas in the core xy story and most of the mega stones are locked behind the post-game. if you’re bringing back mega evolutions, make them front and center!

customization! if we could combine the facial customization of sv, the unisex clothing options of pla, and the fashion of kalos, that sounds like the recipe for the best character customization of the series.

i don’t want another fully open world. i’d prefer the segmented areas like pla had.

assuming my sequel prediction is true, more emma please?

other general predictions:

honestly i haven’t quite been in tune with the mobile/side stuff lately. probably a bunch of go/masters/unite/cafe remix/sleep/tcg pocket updates as usual but i don’t really know what specifics to predict/expect here.

seems like we may be getting anime news here? we’re at an interesting point in the series right now since we’ve just reached laqua and so this would be the perfect time to tease whatever direction the series is about to take, but given that the dub is still only at the paldea arc i’m not sure if they’d want to pull that out yet (not that it’d surprise me if they did, considering the way they treat the dub marketing sometimes). let’s just go with a safe pick and predict a shiny zygarde distribution for cross-promotion between horizons and plza (or alternatively friede’s charizard or captain pikachu).

they’ll probably point people towards that dragonite web animation since that’s coming out on pokemon day.

new sv raids, probably. something big for the presents. tbh i don’t really follow the raids too closely either so i’m not sure what would be a reasonable guess for this. i would say a walking wake/iron leaves rerun but i think we just had one? maybe a shiny gimmighoul rerun instead.

given that they just dropped a bunch of the home rewards in pretty quick succession, i feel like they’ll probably at least give them a mention here. tbh i expected them to be spaced out more, so maybe they were trying to keep our focus on home for an update or something? (probably just copium, please ignore me)

switch 2 will not be acknowledged in any way.

i don’t particularly expect any big new thing here, like a new mystery dungeon or something. since we already had the plza announcement last year, i expect this to differ from the usual pokemon day formula and be more akin to an august presents where half the time is dedicated solely to a game overview.

pokemon picross 2, baby!!! i’m gonna keep predicting this every year and eventually i’m gonna be right. it's gonna happen one day, just you watch.

[anderswelten]

Suspicious offerings

You may remember that I said in one of my past blog posts how important it is to inform yourself about methods for hacking etc. - obviously not, because I want to teach you how to cheat, but knowledge will always be the key and your trump card to prevent yourself from scammers.

Today, I stumpled over a suspicious offering. From time to time I check classifieds, because sometimes you can be lucky and dig out a little treasure. However, this time I found an offering of a used Pokemon Diamond card. In the description it was highlighted that a rare Pokemon is on the card, an Arceus which was only distributed in Japan and it was not „traded via a module“. To proof that the mentioned Arceus is on the card, some photos were shown. I‘m attaching them for you. Please take a minute and look for hints, why this Arceus might be suspicious:

Ok, you may have already an impression what is going on here. Let me summarise everything what seems wrong here:

Arceus was redeemed/received in January 2021. Pokemon Diamond is a Generation 4 game. All distributions took place around 2010 - to be fair, the redemption date is the date of the DS system, therefore 2021 is not completely impossible, but at least very strange and let‘s say „uncommon“

Every event Pokémon is a fateful encounter which is „Schicksalshafte Begegnung“ in German. This phrase is completely missing.

This Arceus was caught in a Master Ball - event Pokemon are usually (not all!) carried in a Cherish Ball

This Arceus is level 80, but all Arceus distributed in Generation 4 were level 100.

The OT and TID seem to be custom, I‘m pretty sure that this is the OT and the TID of the trainer himself - or rather the trainer who caught it.

There was only one Arceus distributed in Japan - the Cinema Arceus - and its data are different from this one (OT, TID, level, Poke Ball, …)

Now, we can guess what it is or where it was obtained. Actually, I do believe that this Arceus itself was not transfered with the help of any kind of module. And I‘m aware of two possibilities: it is either an Azure Flute Arceus or an Arceus obtained over the Void glitch - which is basically the Azure Flute Arceus as well. That this Arceus is really an Azure Flute Arceus can be confirmed by the find spot: „Halle d. Beginns“ which is „Hall of Origin“ in English.

You may have already heard about the Azure Flute Arceus - it is the Arceus from Pokemon Brilliant Diamand & Shining Perl (BDSP) which all shiny hunters are after it, because shiny Arceus became accessible. And you also know that BDSP are the remakes of Pokemon Diamond & Perl, so it seems logical that the Azure Flute was also accessible in the original games, right? Unfortunately not.

The Azure Flute was meant to be distributed through an event in Japan, but it never happened. That the Azure Flute item was programmed into the game, it was already known, but after several years it was finally confirmed by Junichi Masuda that they have decided to not distribute the Azure Flute. So, literally, any Azure Flute Arceus from Generation 4 is somehow hacked, because the Wonder Card and the item have to be injected in your game, otherwise the in-game event would not be triggered. But even if no external module was used to inject the necessary things, a glitch has to be used. And just for those who are curious: you will not be able to port up this Arceus to a higher generation. Pokemon Bank will not accept it at the latest.

Here is the point what bothers me the most in this context:

The guy who offers this Pokemon Diamond card with a hacked Pokemon is advertising that it is a rare Pokemon.

Additionally, he is rising the price of this card, because of its „more value“ due to the „rare Pokemon“

If you are not that deep into the topics of event Pokemon, you may not have noticed it

It is the same like last time: it is absolutely fine if you do hacks and glitches just for yourself, but it is an absolute No-Go if you are trying to trade or sell it without telling its correct origin - whether consciously or unconsciously does not matter.

I‘m currently thinking about reporting this offer, but I have just little hopes, because this is such a niche - and most people care more about if the game itself is real of fake.

I can only recommend: keep continue to inform yourself and be suspicious every time and everywhere. And sadly, this was an easy case…