#The most annoying part is that if you wanted to make a documentary about like

[rahabs]

Lots of people complaining about The Mummy vs the new Cleopatra documentary but therein lies the issue: Cleopatra is claiming to be a historically accurate documentary, it is claiming to tell the “real” truth and even put out a statement on how Cleopatra’s ethnicity has been long debated (which, among scholars, no it really hasn’t, y’all just keep ignoring us when we say Cleopatra wasn’t black), but now they’re here to tell the real story that Cleopatra was really black and so was everyone in Egypt, especially the ruling class, at a time where they definitely were not as they were being ruled over by the Ptolemaic Greeks, while The Mummy was not claiming any historical accuracy or to be a documentary of real events, and that’s where a lot of the backlash is coming from.

[jaegersdevil]

boyfriend!eren headcanons pt. 2.*･｡ﾟ

part 1 part 3

boyfriend!eren throws everything like a basketball (including but not limited to: trash, clothes, your phone, his phone, snacks (mostly chips), tv remotes, armin’s hamster (it was one time, and cheez-it was fine))

boyfriend!eren who, when it’s his turn to organise dates, will centre them around the thing he is most obsessed with at that moment (e.g. golf. he will follow ONE pga tour and fully believe he has the skills because ‘it can’t be that hard’ (it is). expect dates to top golf, or just an 18-hole golf course (even if you can’t hit a golf ball to save your life). he will think he is scottie scheffler. don’t even speak to me)

boyfriend!eren will stop being a menace when you give him The Look™️

boyfriend!eren then gets teased relentlessly by jean, connie, sasha etc etc., who tell you to ‘keep your dog on a leash' when he’s being particularly annoying

boyfriend!eren is supposed to wear glasses when he drives but absolutely despises it, so he doesn’t (it’s a treat when he does, though ;))

following on, boyfriend!eren hates wearing any type of glasses when he drives, so he puts his sunglasses on you and he loves the way you look in them (even if he has some dad speed sunglasses)

boyfriend!eren loves watching documentaries no matter the topic

boyfriend!eren walks around your apartment in just boxers all year round

boyfriend!eren cooks a mean chicken alfredo (and that’s IT)

boyfriend!eren will just sit on your bedroom floor

boyfriend!eren still counts on his fingers but, despite popular belief, is actually good at maths

boyfriend!eren considers himself a dilf?

boyfriend!eren who, when on picnic dates, tries to cartwheel and fails miserably (0/10 would not recommend, it’s embarrassing for him but mostly you)

boyfriend!eren will wait around restlessly at your apartment when you’re in class like a literal DOG

boyfriend!eren threatens to call the restaurant you just ordered from because they forgot to take out the thing you didn’t want (will still be going on about it even after you’ve finished eating)

boyfriend!eren recognises when you don’t feel the best, even when you try and hide it, and does everything in his power to make you feel better

boyfriend!eren will go through an entire bag of candy to pick out the ones you like, just to put in a separate container for you <3

boyfriend!eren gets irritated by the sound of a vacuum and throws a pillow over his head until you're finished (he is literally a dog wtf come on now)

boyfriend!eren will curl everything in sight to show off his biceps (to you) (e.g. the watermelon in the fridge, your 2L emotional support water bottle, the stack of books you impulse bought at 12am, his 5kg protein powder tub)

boyfriend!eren comes to the store to look at candles while you get actual things because he's very particular about them ever since you were given a caramel one for the holidays, and the smell made him feel sick :(

boyfriend!eren will call you bro/dude/man when he wants to be petty in an argument, but he can also be serious when he needs to be

boyfriend!eren tries to persuade you to let him get a pet rat so he can teach it tricks :/ (spoiler: he was forbidden to get one after the cheez-it incident)

[hetalimagines]

General headcanons for Alfred as a boyfriend (SFW)

Here's my first actual post on this blog, hehe... I can't find the ask but someone requested some Alfred headcanons, so here are my rambles about what I think he's like as a boyfriend!

He’s honestly not the most traditionally romantic person. Your relationship is more like friends who make out sometimes. But he does have his own little ways of showing you he loves you!

He’ll put together playlists of songs that remind him of you. They’re mostly loose connections, like maybe a song mentions your eye color, or the lyrics remind him of a date you went on together, or it just sounds romantic and makes him wanna kiss you. He likes to sit with you while you listen (to every single song), and he interrupts the songs a bit to explain why he chose them.

“This one had me thinking what if we were dancing in a ballroom together, and out of nowhere, bam! Zombies bust in. The door crashes to the ground! Our dance turns into one of those cool fighting scenes with the—oh, this part reminded me of the time I woke up early and you were about to fall off the bed. You had a cute bedhead.”

(You have no idea what the lyrics are at this point.)

Dates with him are pretty casual, more like “hanging out” than anything fancy. Maybe you stay at home and watch movies/play games, or you go out for dinner at a local diner, or you go do awful karaoke together, or you go and prank a friend together.

He’s happy as long as he’s with you. Bonus if there’s food and/or drink.

He occasionally takes you out to a more traditional restaurant and dresses for the occasion. They’re usually expensive, too. The food isn’t his preference (too complicated for his palate), but if it makes you happy, he’s all for dealing with it for just one night.

His primary love languages are acts of service and quality time. He’s always doing what he can to help you out (and feel proud of himself in the process). Whether he helps you run errands, runs a bath for you ahead of time, or fluffs your pillow before you get in bed, it’s all because he wants to make your life easier!

He gets a little jealous if you ever spend time with your shared friends without him, or if you spend more time with others than him.

He’s so excited if you take interest in any of his hobbies. Movies? He’ll ask if you want to co-write a script with him. (He’s very relaxed about what exactly ends up in the script.) Archaeology? He has so many random facts to dump on you, and he’ll be super impressed by any knowledge you have on it. Conspiracy theories? Time to watch a bunch of documentaries! He enjoys them despite their flaws, but lets you know exactly when something is false and what actually happened.

He tries to take interest in your hobbies, too, even if he doesn’t understand what you’re talking about. It could be the most boring thing and he’d still listen and ask you questions about it. If it makes you happy, he wants to know all about it.

Pet names from him consist of things like babe, dude (💀), honey, occasionally sweetie, (jokingly… mostly) prince or princess. It’s all over the place. He’ll call you honey and dude back-to-back sometimes.

He loves debating if you’re comfortable with it! But be warned, he gets very heated about certain topics. His sense of justice is important to him. Otherwise, he’s usually not serious about these debates and doesn’t care who wins.

He tries to keep things light and doesn’t usually let people see his more serious side. He’ll open up to you more over time, however. It’s really him letting a wall down and allowing himself to get closer to you.

Every now and then, he has days where he’s a lot quieter and calmer than usual. He just wants to relax, stay on the couch with you and watch movies or simply chat. Maybe a movie chattering in the background as he tells you about his childhood. He doesn’t try so hard to keep up this energetic, heroic persona.

He’s right back to normal the next day like nothing happened.

Likes to annoy you for fun. Not in a mean-spirited way. He just thinks your responses are cute and has poor impulse control. Poking your cheeks or ruffling your hair or playing an obnoxious song loudly on the stereo while he dances. But he’ll back off if you’re genuinely upset with him. He means no harm.

He loves if you’re willing to play along with whatever he gets up to. Maybe he’s decided he’s going to try and vacuum the whole house while doing a handstand on the vacuum. You can hold onto his legs to help him stay balanced.

This man is very impulsive and has a tendency to get himself hurt. Random bruises all over his body or a cut along his forearm. He bounces back easily, and doesn’t want to fuss over it, but he lowkey likes if you baby him about it. He’ll always say how it’s not a big deal and he can take it, but his heart does this little flutter when you show concern, and even more if you force him to take better care of himself.

He burns himself in the kitchen and you force him to run it under cold water. He’s swooning inside.

He likes to gossip about others, especially over breakfast. He can’t help it; he’s just nosy, and he always has an idea of what’s going on and how he can help out. Huge bonus if you gossip with him!

He loves to feed you, but the majority of the food he brings for you is burgers or tubs of ice cream. He likes to experiment with the burgers’ toppings and seasonings, but they’re all burgers nonetheless.

Every now and then, he does plan some big romantic endeavor. It’s like a surprise. You never know when it’s coming… You wake up one morning and find out he’s booked a week long cruise, your bedroom is filled with balloons, and there’s enough breakfast food on the table to feed an army.

He does this thing sometimes (often) where he swoops in and has to save you. A puddle on the ground? No need to fear! He picks you up and swiftly carries you over it. The safest place for you is in his arms. He’ll even lay down and let you use him as a bridge if you want.

A suspicious penny on the sidewalk? LOOK OUT, IT MIGHT BE A BOMB! Let HIM step on it before you get blown up!

He steps on it. Nothing happens. Better safe than sorry!

If you’re the more independent type, that won’t stop him from trying. He just wants to keep you safe and have you appreciate his efforts. Being disinterested or resistant will just make him try harder.

Says cheesy stuff like “happy wife, happy life” unironically. He’s also the type to use terrible pickup lines to flirt with you. Totally unaware of how bad they are until you start laughing.

He also doesn’t care that they’re bad. He’s just having fun.

Loves to give you his clothes to wear. Seriously. You want one of his hoodies? Try six of them.

You complain when one stops smelling like him so he puts it on, works out, then gives it back to you like :D! Fixed the problem!

He takes so many pictures of you guys. Videos, too. His phone storage is eaten up by it. His favorite thing is to take selfies together. Usually with some silly filter. Or an even sillier caption.

“me and the babe out shopping” and it’s a picture of you, holding a piece of fruit with the dog ears filter

He’s not the most physically affectionate, but he always gives you morning kisses and especially kisses before leaving the house. He also loves carrying you around (mostly bridal style) in his arms for no reason other than he can. A hand on your back, another on your thighs, your head pressed against his chest. He loves it.

He loves knowing you find him physically attractive! He worries sometimes about being too overweight, so any reassurance that you like his body helps. If you think he’s hot, and you’re hot yourself, that must mean he definitely is.

Has a tendency to call you hot, but he’ll call you other things if it makes you uncomfortable.

Occasionally brags about you and how lucky he is. Not as often as you might think. Though he gets oddly competitive if anyone acts like their partner is better than you and starts spouting whatever he can so everyone knows you’re the absolute best. No competition.

[all-pacas]

stupid chase 13 self indulgent sibling shit:

13 is the first one to jokingly refer to chase as her brother. except she calls him her younger brother. chase is like super touched but also hi i'm older than you "sure you are buddy". it's like an ironic "haha we're not actually siblings" joke except secretly no. it's not ironic

13 also has made at least a couple "let's go find dad" jokes about house. she finds it funny and deeply annoying that house and chase don't seem to Get It. it's very obvious to her that chase's deepest dream is for house to pat his shoulder and say "i'm proud my son" but they deny it

at least once 13 has pat chase's shoulder and gone "i'm proud my son"

at least once though. at least one time. "i killed my older brother." "i abandoned my younger sister to rehab." like they know. all their darkest shit. they don't want to be siblings because they did terrible things to their families. but it's why they are

they text. she's constantly sending him photos from her greek island. the food. the beach. look how hot my girlfriend is. he's in the middle of some gross procedure and gets a text of a beautiful sunset. he sends back a photo of a urine sample or some gross wound

when chase quit at the end of s8 and 13 swung by the next episode to talk with wilson the next day? she was staying with chase while she was in town. they mostly just hung out and watched nature documentaries. when wilson called she was like "oh i just happen to be in new jersey, let's meet up" while wearing sweats and sitting on chase's sofa

chase offers to kill her since house is gone and can't. they come up with a rough timeline and plan and then never discuss it again. until it's time.

at least a few dark "oh, shit, i'm wilson now, aren't i?" jokes from her in return. shit, the new house has a dying best friend too! except with so much less sexual tension!! they joke because they can't bring themselves to be serious about it. she tries to set him up with new friends. big advocate for choreman

idk but i get the feeling they'd watch crappy reality tv together.

they'll sometimes just have the darkest and most serious 1 am conversations about morality and souls and what makes a person good or evil, and then the next time they see one another instead of following up it's just "did you see real housewives last night"

chase has never asked 13 for a favor. like he'll ask her little things or let her pay for lunch, but that's about it. meanwhile she can call him at 2 am and he'll show up no questions asked. maybe kind of grumpy about it tho. kind of pisses her off he never lets her return the favor and sort of shut himself off emotionally after s6. but also it's nice? not the "chase's turn towards cynicism" part, but having a standing no questions asked deal.

when he annoys her enough, 13 DOES call chase "robbie" or worse "bobby" but he's never called her by her first name and probably never will

he didn't tell her he got stabbed and she was mad about it because see above. that was a real bobby day

chase knows she doesn't want to fuck around with more huntington's trials but he reads EVERY article and EVERY journal, just in case some miracle comes up. 13 meanwhile follows fake african country politics with a weird intensity to make sure diabla's forces aren't regaining power. they never discuss either thing with one another.

first time 13 visited Chase MD office she forced him to pose in front of the door and took like 15 photos like it was bobby's first day of school. absolutely humiliating

chase goes to 13 and amy's wedding. he's the only one of the PPTH folks who do (taub sends a card. they forgot to tell foreman.)

once 13 was like "we're both hot and single and should do what hot, single people do!" "....have...sex...?" "no, go to a gay bar" they actually go quite a few times

[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 4.3

Oof! Got him!

“She loves you and he loves him and they love each other”. You know when you've got something to say but you don't want it to look like you really wanted to say it specifically so you throw it in between two other things? No? Just me and John?

I'm obsessed with John just heaping praise on Paul in this interview. Every song the interviewer brings up it's “best” “my favorite” “all Paul” “good piece of work” “somewhere I have the tape of him doing it” “damn good” “one of his masterpieces” See also: Paul’s a good lyricist, he just doesn't try because he's insecure. And: one of the most innovative bass players of all time.

John mixing up In My Life and If I Fell “although I don't know why I'm confusing them, they're nothing alike but they have the same–” The same what? Same target? Same muse? Hmm? “It's really about–it's not about Cyn.” He's barely hanging on to not saying it here, like, by a gossamer thread. 

John confessing that the consistent character flaw of Paul's which hurt him ((hurt. Not annoyed. Not angered. Hurt.)) was insensitivity. Not bossiness or lameness or sneakiness. Insensitivity. What John couldn't handle in the end about Paul was that he wasn't aware enough of John's tender feelings. 

He's also so cruel in this interview. And what you've got to pay attention to is the theme connecting the songs he's cruel about: Let It Be (let John go) and The Long and Winding Road (the long and pointless fight). 

The Japanese Monk comparison doesn't quite land for me because it implies that John purposely broke up the Beatles because he knew they were at a peak and he wanted them to stay gold. And I think that's what John would like the story to be. It makes him feel better inside. It makes him look incredibly wise and courageous. But it's clear – John even stated it himself more than once on record – that the breakup was not purposeful or calculated. It was a terrible accident that nobody wanted, least of all John. 

More quotes to live by when examining John's post breakup “ow!”

I find it fascinating that John thought of Paul's and Dylan's lyrics as very similar and says so twice in this documentary. But nobody else ever draws that comparison. In mainstream thought, Bob Dylan is one of the greatest lyricists of all time if not the greatest (it's me. I'm mainstream. Subterranean Homesick Blues my absolute beloved.) and Paul is the worst lyricist to ever get successful. And you know what? I think Paul gets punished for being physically pretty and financially savvy, and I think in the exact same way his music gets punished for being melodically pretty and commercially successful. 

John about Paul's inscrutable messages in his songs: if one knows the person, one knows what's coming down. John in I Know (I Know): and I know. What's coming down. 

I will always love how he says in the same breath . . . “I've compared it to a marriage a million times" and "Paul and I were together.” 

You really do gotta be like “Johns say the darndest things sometimes.” I mean that's what Paul did, right? Because genuinely most of the time he's a fucking sweetheart. After he's sat there defending Paul's insane mourning bus movie, the interviewer asks him to compare himself and Paul. And after saying there's never been a question about commerciality, he says this. 

Nobody think about Paul writing “One of These Days” just before John's death then “This One” a decade later. Don't do it. I do recommend. 

Free as a Bird is such a beautiful song. It's a gorgeous melody, and it's got such complex emotions. He's still mourning something that was lost, but he's hopeful. He's on his way home. 

You all know that long distance interview Paul did right before John died where they bring up some of the awful things John said recently about him (ignoring the millions of loving and admiring things). When Paul's voice cracks and he looks up at the ceiling and struggles for a minute and the lights go out, I have a theory that it's one of their kids being protective. She was messing with the lights before to be silly and then when the bad question comes she turns them off again as a sort of protective sabotage. 

What If though? What If that's true? 

Quote of all time!!! “The person I actually picked as my partner, who I recognized has talent and who I could get on with, was Paul.” He doesn't say ‘as my sidekick’ or ‘running mate’ or ‘captain’s mate’ or ‘second string’ or any of those things that traditional Beatles fans tend to push on them. Partner. 

Serious question, because I swing all over the place as to what I think actually happened between John and Paul physically and emotionally. If we agree that Real Love is about Paul (a baby and another on the way lalalalalala farm . . . Just call him on the phone) Then what about this lyric? “Was I just dreaming (a word of theirs and something they thought they shared) or was it only Yesterday (Paul's biggest song) I used to hold you in my arms? Is that to be taken literally? John used to hold Paul in his arms? i.e. frequent hugging and cuddling?

The heart monitor cuts so harshly into John singing “Grow Old With Me.” As we see beautiful images of John and all the people he's leaving behind. I'm dry heaving. This documentary is so much more painful this time around than the first. 

Anyway I'm glad we got coverage of all the “for Paul” songs. Which. Btw fuck you Sean and Peter. You proved absolutely nothing.

[olderthannetfic]

The main problem that I have with Youtubers who attempt to approach media analysis and fandom through theory and academia is that the vast majority aren't academics. Just being in undergrad isn't actually enough, contrary to the thoughts of many. Reading a Wikipedia article and reiterating what one may find in some Google, even Google Scholar, searches. Ideally, these would be topics approached by people involved in academia as a profession, people with doctoral degrees, who can discuss complex topics in a way that is easily understood by the masses. "What is the negotiation between gender and sex in BL?" "How does CMBYN articulate/complicate hierarchal roles within the gay novel?" "Could SnK express an alternative reading of the formerly isolated Japan?" These are complicated questions they attempt to answer in their video essays when they seldom ever understand the theories they employ.

Yes, I understand this can sound elitist, but as a Black afab person who is currently in a doctoral program for literature, there aren't "easy" answers to any of the questions they attempt to pose, and many Youtubers who primarily make long-form video essays lack the life experience and expertise to sufficiently discuss anything. They're usually too set in their thoughts to answer or explore the broader implications of their claims. Defending a dissertation forces you to do this. Forming a committee of experts in various fields and convincing them to aid you in the development of your dissertation forces you to do this. Being in academic and cordial communication with your peers from all over the world in your field forces you to do this. It's not easy to constantly intake new information from various eras and nations (depending on your topic), meld this information into a coherent essay, and continually make edits as you learn new information, thus changing your outlook on things. Also: it's really petty of me, but it's also incredibly annoying to grade poorly researched undergrad essays who, after some prompting in office hours, say they got these ideas on books, movies, and shows from breadtubers like Somerton, SZ, FD Signifier, or hbomberguy. Cue: me going to watch their videos and realizing they have no idea what they're talking about 88% of the time in terms of theory and application of said theory. Even the ones who frame themselves on being educators in real life, like Signifier, lack any nuance, depth, or media literacy to make a compelling argument if you know even the slightest bit of information. On the bright side, I now know why I've encountered several students with ideologies that are basically conservatism with a veneer of progressivism, or "conservatism in a queer hat."

This concludes my long-winded way of saying "Don't turn to Youtubers for media analysis. You're better off just reading articles by people who have to actually know what they're talking about. The majority of Youtubers (especially the breadtubers) don't have the bandwidth to discuss anything more complex than an episode of Blue's Clues."

--

I mostly agree, but I'd point to a slightly different problem. I'm hesitant to say that the PhD itself is the deciding factor, but I do think a lot of video essayists are insufficiently prepared.

I'm a big fan of Folding Ideas who does have some formal schooling in film, but I don't think it's that education per se that makes him great. He sets himself apart from other video essayists by actually doing his research and having an in-depth approach to his subjects. He doesn't resort to clickbait, and—here's the key—he often takes months or even a year to work on something.

Honestly, I think that's a big part of it: the hoops most youtubers who want to make a living at it have to jump through involve a lot of clickbait and pandering and a fast production schedule. They don't involve reputable peer review except by the court of shriek-y public opinion on twitter.

They'd like to present themselves as documentary filmmaking (which is essentially what Folding Ideas' longer videos are), but they don't actually live up to any of the usual standards of that either.

I think it can be elitist to say that someone needs to have certain letters after their name, yes, but what really strikes me about your average youtube media analysis type and the fanbase is that they want shortcuts.

Exploring the whole history of the gay novel so that you have enough background to talk about CMBYN means reading quite a few novels. Even if you decide to throw out all past scholarly opinion on the topic (which you shouldn't), if you're going to have a meaningful personal theory, you need to have read a lot of novels first. How can you hope to be the person providing the neat overview of the whole genre if you haven't familiarized yourself widely with said genre, and not just through a summary by someone else? That amount of reading doesn't happen overnight.

The trite, surface-level media analysis online is often from people who want to be hailed as great intellectuals but who aren't willing to put in the years it takes to do all the background reading and to develop their skills in argumentation, writing, etc.

Grad school is a convenient and probably faster way to go about all that, but I think you could do it outside of a formal framework... But you would need to actually do it.

I think it's driven by a bunch of people who were The Smart One in grade school and never learned how to work hard on long-term projects instead of pushing through in a sprint. They're used to relying on being the smartest to cut corners and do things before they get bored, only they probably aren't the smartest anymore anyway, and they mistake being smart at one thing for being smart at all things.

There's a real lack of respect for the entire concept of expertise.

[aliceismypixie]

The villain of my story ∥ Ten days granted

Summary - "The villain will always be the villain if the hero tells the story" or atleast that's what they say. No one knew why you became what you are. But you wanted your revenge on Isabella Marie Swan and you were ready to do anything to have it.

Pairing - Twilight x villain!reader

Pronoun - she/her (but can be read as a male reader or gn reader)

Warning - The reader is an immortal child, swearing, talk of kidnapping, brief mention of killing, my poor writing skill for hunting, mention blood, Edward being full of himself

Words count - 1.66k~

Set - After Breaking-Dawn Part 2

Chapter 2 - Masterlist

You were annoyed. You had Ratatouille Renesmee in your lair for five days now and honestly, she was slowly making you regret ever kidnapping her.

"So you don't want to kill me ?"

"No."

"But you want my mommy ?"

"Yes."

"Why ?"

"Because."

"Because is not a reason. Really you could have targeted someone with a family weaker than ours.".

"I have good reasons."

"What are they ? It's kind of boring here don't you think ? You should add some colors on your wall !"

"No."

"Why not ?"

"Because I say so."

"But it's boring !"

"Shut up."

"That's a bad word !!"

"SHUT THE F― oh my God, kids nowaday."

"You look younger than I though."

"I'll burn the kid today." A groan escaped your lips as you turned away to grab your coat and out on your hood.

"Imma go on a little hunt. Stay in your cage and try to find something to distract you in your tiny space." You walked out as the girl started to speak again.

"Hey, don't leave me alone ! That's not very kind !"

The moment you closed the door, you finally felt like you could breathe. How was that kid Isabella's daughter ? She was so talkative while her mother was probably the most awkward introvert you've ever got to meet. But when you were younger, people always prefered a shy introvert who loved to read than a loud extrovert who jumped on trees.

Rolling your eyes at the thought, you made your way toward the entrance of the wood and jumped on a few trees. It was always better up there, that way you could see your prey any human much better. And as if your thought summoned them, a couple walked in the forest. They were dressed in a bunch of hiking equipment so they were probably here to see the awesome view the mountain offered them once they reached the top. Sadly they would never get the chance to.

Following behind them quietly, you always vomit your dinner hearing their cringe lovey-dovey discussion. The couple was talking about their movie date a week before and it was an awkward date and also an annoying one. Because honestly, who goes to the movie theater to watch a documentary on otters ?

"I love you bug-a-boo~"

"And I love you more winnie poo~"

"No ! Me bug-a-boo !"

"Me winnie-poo !"

"No―"

"Both of you are dead now anyways." You jumped off the trees you were on and you pinned them both on the ground with your feet smoothly.

"Who am I going to eat first ?" You smirked at their horrified expression and lowered yourself before taking a deep breath.

"You love alcohol don't you ?" You asked the man and his eyes widened while his girlfriend glared at him.

"What !? I thought you stopped ?!" She claimed and you rose and eyebrow surprised.

"Man you lied to your girl ? That's kinda low." You pointed out and the woman huffed before looking away from her boyfriend and you smirked.

"She cheated on me three times with all my boys !" He claimed and you looked at the girl in surprise.

"Damn, low blow girl." You acknowledged and the girl gasped dramatically before glaring at her boyfriend or ex-boyfriend whatever.

"Both of you are dead anyways."

Screams echoed through the forest and then there were two bodies, lying lifelessly on the ground, a bunch of claw marks on their bodies along with a few burns but no blood coming out of their injuries. Their blood got drained and the bear that clawed them was already jumping from trees to trees to go back home.

On your way back, you crossed a deer drinking some water and you stopped on your track. For the past five days she was there, Renasberry didn't eat all because she was brainwashed into their weird aff vegetarian diet or because the hybrid weird kid wanted human's food. But you needed to keep her alive somehow. A silent groan escaped your lips as your eyes the deer before you and prepared yourself to kill it.

Snapping its neck was an easy part honestly, especially since you just feet, carrying it to your super villain's lair was also an easy part, opening the door though, was kind of harder. But you were a super villain so you guess what you did ? A badass kick in the door and busted in.

The weird hybrid kid named Rasputin turned toward the door in shock and you rolled your eyes before dumping the deer in her cage and creating a new fire door for your lair.

"Eat up. You're paler than your mom when she was able to be sick." You glared before turning away and the kid looked at you with a teasy grin.

"You got me some food ! It's because you care~" Renesmee teased and you rolled your eyes annoyed.

"No I don't."

"You so do."

"Do not !"

"So do !"

"Do not !"

"Do not !"

"So do !" You replied and the kid smirked at you while you realized what you just said and a groan escaped your lips once again.

"How the fuck did I fall for that stupid two year old trick ?" You muttered.

"You said a bad word !"

"SHUT UP AND EAT !"

The Cullen's household wasn't happy anymore. You know how Bella used to say that her life was a nightmare before meeting Edward because now she has a handsome rich vampire husband ? Well now she thought that her life was worse because she lost her beautiful super rare hybrid daughter.

"We couldn't find her anywhere." Jasper announced seriously as him, Emmett and Seth arrived in the living room and Edward rolled his eyes in annoyance.

Seeing his brother's reaction's Emmett felt his own anger starting to rose up. Yes, Emmett wasn't the type to get annoyed or angry, except if you won against him in video games, but he wasn't annoyed for that. No, the big bad himbo vampire was annoyed because Edward was acting like he was the only one affected by the disappearance of ReNameMe, sorry oh my goodness, your author may have a problem with Razzel Dazzel's real name, Renesmee. Edward was acting like Rosalie wasn't isolating herself in her room out of guilt and refused to face anyone. See Emmett was usually very playful. That was until his wife was hurting and everyone just ignored it.

But was Emmett McCarty Cullen the main character ? No, you guessed it. He was probably the most underrated sibling of the Cullen's family but let's not talk about that.

Reading the thoughts of his brother, Edward glared at him from his seat on the couch and scoffed.

"Well I'm sorry, if your wife would have kept a eye on my daughter we wouldn't be here !" The golden brunet expressed and Emmett growled.

"Hey ! Rose did what she could ! You should have kept on eye on Renesmee she is your daughter after all ! Don't put everything on my wife !" Emmett's eyes turned darker as he was ready to jump on his brother.

Seeing the outbrust about to happen, Alice decided to take Jasper out of the room. The empath was already overwhelmed enough by everyone in the room, he didn't need to feel the emotions of the fight as a plus. Seth followed shortly after them, believe it or not he thought of them like his second parents. Leah followed her brother obviously, leaving Esme, Carlisle, Bella, Jacob, Edward and Emmett in the living room.

"Everyone calm down." Esme tried to sooth the atmosphere miserably.

Poor woman hated to see her children hurting and she hated even more to see them fight each other. Over the past few years, it has been hard for everyone between the hunters, the newborns army, the pregnancy and all the drama following the Volturi, Esme's caring nature couldn't help but worry for her children. But people oftenly forget that she existed too. She was Dr. Cullen's wife, not Esme, just Dr. Cullen's wife, so let's not make a big deal about her and how she might feel after all those years, yes ?

"No Esme, I'm sorry but Edward here needs to know that he is not the only one being hella worried about Nessie." Jacob butt in and Edward growled at him before getting up and face the alpha.

"If you were so worried you would have run faster !"

"And if you were so worried you wouldn't have let your daughter in the guard of other people ! Especially if you're not gonna assume your mistake after it !"

"I'm going to―"

"Boys ! Please ! Don't fight each other. Not now." Bella begged and the two turned toward her pleading eyes before getting off each other.

Like usual, Bella was the peacemaker between the two boys. Were they supposed to be adult now ? Yes they were. But the main character is the hero in every situation am I not right ? So let's make Bella act like the perfectly not-awkward-anymore-super-powerful-vampire-newborn main character that she is.

"Emmett, go check on Rosalie yes ?" Carlisle told his second son who simply huffed before being taken out of the room by his adopted mother.

"Edward, I know that you're frustrated but we're all soing our best to find her. And Jacob, I know that your imprint link makes you act up but we need to calm down and sit to think about a way to get Renesmee back without any harm." Carlisle announced when suddenly Seth ran back into the room, a familiar type of half burned letters in hands and a horrified expression on his face.

"Carlisle ! This was by the entrance of the wood. The child's sent is all over it." The young shifter exclaimed and Edward snatched the letter from his hands before that his expression fell and the words of the letter rolled off his tongue.

"'Fighting each other for five days, losing her more for five days. You had ten days granted. Tic, tac, fire and flames'."

Chapter 4

[alltheselights]

Hi Emma! I really value your opinion, and I was just wondering about your thoughts on everything? I.E. the fandom, Louis… You always seem so levelheaded compared to others so I wanted to ask. Have a good night!

My only real thoughts about it are that it's really tiring to be in this fandom and see what's happening with Louis. On principle, I'm probably an exception to a lot of Larries in that I don't really care if he wants to dunk on Larries, though he chose a really stupid way to do it. A large group of these fans try to make everything he does about Harry and disrespect him regularly. For me, that's not the part that really bothers me.....it's everything that comes along with it.

I wish I understood the contradictory choices that Louis makes regularly but I just don't. He wants success and enjoys success, but he continues to surround himself with incompetent team members who don't promote him properly. He wants a broader audience to enjoy his music, but nobody outside of his existing fanbase ever hears about his music unless it's from fans' efforts. He wants people to take him seriously as a musician and is annoyed by Larries, yet he pushes other aspects of his personal life to the forefront of his public image through interviews, his documentary, and tweets. He's proud of his most recent album and feels that it represents him as an artist, yet he cuts those songs from his setlist on tour and performs covers instead. He cares more about touring than anything, but he frequently skips songs from his setlist, doesn't put effort into his stage outfits (or even hair sometimes now), and has said several times that he's hungover and not feeling his best during his shows. He adores his fans and treats them incredibly well most of the time, but the fan interactions that frequently get traction with a broader audience are things like yesterday's rude tweets or him aggressively flipping off fans who tried to rip his clothes at the barricade (as deserved as that may be, it's not really a good look).

It's just.....so incoherent? Like I truly don't understand why he and the people around him make the choices that they do based on what he himself says he wants and cares about.

He's playing some massive venues on his Latin American tour, which was just announced, and yesterday was the perfect opportunity to talk about that and push how excited he is about it during his Twitter reply spree. Instead, even 24 hours later, all people are talking about is his reply to that Larrie when he could have just fucking ignored that stupid ass tweet. A bunch of things related to that tweet were trending on Twitter - along with "Freddie" because of his two tweets about his supposed child - and now there are articles about another Larry denial. Is Louis on tour? Has he put out any albums? Is he still a musician at all? Nobody in the general public has any idea, but at least they know that he denies Larry on a near yearly basis and that he has a kid that is apparently his twin. Congrats!

And it's annoying because solo Louies are so busy enjoying that a Larrie got publicly dunked on that they can't even see that this kind of shit actually doesn't help Louis at all. Oh, sure, it's driving away fans! And I know that a lot of solo Louies think Louis would be better off without Larries (and trust me, I feel that about some Larries too when they're making everything about a relationship instead of his career) but the reality is that Louis shouldn't drive away fans. There are ways to deal with annoying fans that don't include publicly degrading them and making MORE fucking headlines about rumors that you supposedly want to die out. If he was actually trying to expand his fanbase and then tried to get rid of fans that aren't here to appreciate him as an individual or his solo career, I could respect that.....but that's not what's happening. Instead, he drives away existing fans and does nothing to add new ones.

As someone who has loved him since 2012 and wants nothing more than his success, watching his lost potential over the course of so many years has been one of the worst things ever. I see things like what happened yesterday and see the reactions to it (both people getting angry and leaving AND people rejoicing because they're too short-sighted to realize that this doesn't solve problems and only hurts Louis in the long-run) and I just roll my eyes. I'm not upset, I'm not angry, I'm just tired. It's hard to keep saying that you want better for someone who doesn't seem to want better for themselves.

[notafragileegg]

Ever felt extremely tired / straight up fell asleep due to boredom? Congratulations! You might have experienced this weird thing called "intrusive sleep".

(I am gonna link a few sources, it's a really fascinating thing) Intrusive sleep is such a weird thing. It happens particularly often in people with ADHD.

Our nervous systems apparently just disengage out of SHEER BOREDOM! It might lead to drowsiness or collapse on the spot due to abrupt tiredness.

Apparently, it happens because our brains see no point in "wasting energy" on the current task

Article 1 | Article 2

My personal experience with this is something I'd like to share. I luckily don't have the variant where I just suddenly drop to the floor and sleep. I occasionally get extremely tired and drowsy when I don't know what to do / get overwhelmed with a boring task. It's like an INTENSE feeling of tiredness that takes over my entire body and sensory processing. Things start moving slower, my thoughts start forming into dreams and I fall asleep within 1-2 minutes for a couple of minutes to an hour.

This is extremely difficult to handle when I have to listen to a monotone teacher, watch a documentary, or even read a book. My brain just goes "oh... well, fuck this" and just sends me to sleep.

The part that annoys me most is when I tell people about this problem I have, that's actually impacting my ability to live like I want to, some have told me that I should be thankful for being able to fall asleep on command. The thing is, this is not a restful sleep, nor is it like a nap, it's almost like I just lose all motor ability, skip a bit of time, and wake up like nothing happened. Maybe my hand is sore because I fell asleep on top of it, but that's pretty much the only change besides a bit of left-over drowsiness. + IT HAPPENS WHEN I DON'T WANT IT TO

I have only recently tried to do something against it after realizing it's most likely an ADHD thing - so I took the approach of pumping myself with AS MUCH GOOD STIMULATION AS I CAN HANDLE until I am awake; I put on some music, get some easy snacks, fill my water bottle with cold water and just hope, that that's enough to basically stop my brain from deactivating me temporarily.

Intrusive sleep is definitely something I want to learn more about and might make a follow-up post about. I just had this intense urge to write a post at 2am (this definitely doesn't help with my other sleep issues lmao). I just hope it's legible and hopefully somewhat interesting to read.

[lucy90712]

Confidence

A/n: my requests are open so feel free to send me more requests. I will write for Gavi, Pedri and Jude Bellingham and Joao flexing if you guys want.

wc: 1400

Before meeting Pablo I used to hate the way I looked I compared myself to everyone and was always finding new things I didn't like about my appearance or my personality to the point that my self confidence was non existent. That all changed when I met Pablo though as he didn't see any of the problems I saw with myself which made me realise that maybe they aren't so much of a big deal after all. He only boosted my self confidence more when we began dating as he would always compliment the things that I hated the most about myself without any prompting which again boosted my self esteem. Once he found out how much I hated some parts of myself he tried his best to get me to stop comparing myself and love myself the way I am and he was very good at it.

After being together for a few months I felt really good about myself to the point that I felt comfortable wearing things I wouldn't have done before and I didn't try and hide away when out in public which was a really big step. What really helped is that Pablo never judged me for how I was feeling and didn't get annoyed if some days I felt worse than others as the last thing I needed was to feel bad about having a bad day. He was also really good at encouraging me when I made a step like the time I felt good enough to wear a bikini to the beach he complimented me loads and made me feel completely comfortable.

I really thought that I'd got over my insecurities after only having the odd bad day and overall feeling confident about myself. That was until everything came crashing down at once with Pablo and I making our relationship public. To start with it didn't bother me but when it got to the point that every time I went on my phone I was seeing people comment on the way I looked it got too much. I have always seen the odd comment but now that every other comment is about something I already didn't like about myself it makes it harder to keep the positive mindset that I've had for the past few months.

As much as the comments have been getting to me I've been trying to hide it as Pablo is busy with training so he doesn't need to worry about me and how stupid I'm being for letting other peoples comments get to me. It is hard to hide it from him though as he can read me like a book and always knows when I'm lying so I've had to try and act as normal as possible. Part of me feels bad for not telling Pablo how I'm feeling as I know he would want me to tell him but I know that he doesn't need anything else to worry about at the moment and I don't want to stress him out any more.

Today has been the absolute worst though as Pablo has been away all day as he had training this morning and then this evening he had the premiere of the new Barcelona documentary so I've been alone in the apartment all day. On any normal day I'd be fine I'd probably go on a walk and do some university work but today I couldn't stop myself looking at my phone. Yesterday Pablo posted a picture of the two of us from a little at home date we did and I've spent my day reading through the comments and looking at what people are saying on reposts too. Pretty much every other comment is about my body, my face or how Pablo could do so much better than me and honestly I believe them as I'm not exactly anyone special nor am I the prettiest girl out there.

Spending all day reading comments was definitely an awful decision as by the end of the day I found myself stood in front of the mirror looking at everything I hate about myself. Anything that wasn't pointed out in the comments I definitely looked at in the mirror and thought about what people would have said if they noticed which was just me saying awful things about myself in reality. In the end I couldn't stop tears falling down my face after thinking for so long about how everyone hates me including myself. Once the tears started they didn't stop so I just ended up sat on the floor in front of the mirror with floods of tears running down my face. The only good thing about it was that I couldn't see the comments anymore as my eyes were so filled with tears so I couldn't keep reading things that would make me cry more.

I don't even know how long I was sat in front of the mirror crying but it was long enough for it to be pitch black outside and in the bedroom but I wasn't going to get up and turn a light on as then I'd be able to see in the mirror again. I was so in my own world that I didn't hear the front door open and close nor did I hear Pablo calling my name until he ran into the bedroom panicked trying to find me. He turned the light on and straight away was relieved to see me but I couldn't bare to look at him as then I'd have to explain why I was crying and that didn't sound like something I wanted to do. I tried my best to talk to him but of course my voice came out all broken and croaky which gave it away straight away.

He came over and sat on the floor in front of me and put a hand under my chin to get me to look at him which I didn't want to do but I did as I knew he wouldn't give up. Just seeing his face made me cry more as he took one look at me and I could see in his eyes that he felt bad and that's the reason I was hiding my feelings as I knew he'd feel responsible. Still no words were exchanged as he pulled me into his lap and wiped my tears before hugging me tightly to calm me down. Hearing his heartbeat as my head rested in his chest eventually helped calm me down enough to be able to talk.

"Baby what's wrong?" He asked

"The comments" I replied handing him my phone

"Why didn't you tell me people were saying these things?" He asked

"I didn't want to stress you out any more than you already are" I admitted

"Oh love I don't care about that I would rather you tell me and then we could fix it together so please tell me everything" he said

"Since we went public I've been reading the comments a lot more and they say I'm all these things and honestly I believe them I mean look at me you deserve someone so much better" I rambled

"Love please stop saying things like that you are the most beautiful person I've ever met and nothing will change my mind on that not 10 comments not a million comments and not to mention that you are the light of my life which is why no one will ever be better for me that you" he said

"You really mean that" I said

"Of course I do" he said

He pulled me up from the floor and we stood in front of the mirror together and he complimented every part of my body and face that he knows I don't like until I was smiling again. Once he was satisfied that I was feeling happier he picked me up and brought me to our bed where we both got in and he held me close until I fell asleep with a slight smile on my face knowing that I ended up with the best boyfriend in the world.

[adamsrottingcorpse]

I just realized how bad the hate for Scott Tibbs was and tbh it's pissing me off. Yeah I get why you wouldn't like him, he's an ass, but so is Mark Hoffman who is like one of the most popular saw characters. And the main reason people hate him is because of his "lack of care" for Adam but that's only in the documentary, we have no idea how their relationship was off camera. I refuse to believe that you could know someone for 20 years and just not care at all about them going missing or in general. I firmly belive that he was coping and in denial about Adam so he gaslit himself into "not caring about him" he also obviously has some mental problems that need to be sorted out. I know some of this is purely based off of headcanon but just bare with me. I feel like Scott is one of those people that was raised in a house where he was told that his emotions made him weak so if he was making a documentary that he knew would be public (I'm assuming) then he's obviously not going to be all emotional in it. Not to mention his band members which because he's the "boss" he clearly wants to be seen higher than them so I doubt he would ever open up to them. Say the reason you don't like him isn't because of his "hate" towards Adam. Say you don't like him because he defends John kramer and obsesses over him. Well then at that point if any of your favorite characters just so happen to be Jigsaw Apprentices then you're a massive hypocrite 💀 yeah, maybe the Apprentices don't obsess over him as much but they still work for him and have defended them and or agreed with his philosophy at some point. If you don't like him for another reason, that being him being an asshole or him harassing random people on the street then fair enough I can't say I have anything to really defend that however I think Adams disappearance played a big part in his behavior in the Documentary. And I don't even wanna hear anyone bring up how he stabbed Adam with a rusty nail. THEY WERE 6. Again I understand if you don't like him, as a huge Scott Tibbs fan even I get annoyed by some of the things he's said but I still felt like I needed to write this because it's just been pissing me off how the majority of people that don't like him only don't like him because of how he acts towards Adam in the Documentary. Say that Scott was an asshole to Adam on and off camera though, even then there are loads of characters that are like that yet are still extremely popular. And as much as I love Adam, (he's my favorite character) the Fandom needs to stop making EVERYTHING about him. He's the main/only reason people don't like Scott or even Lawrence for that matter which he isn't relevant in this but still. Maybe you just think he's an idiot for putting himself in a trap and as a Scott fan I agree he was but I still love him anyway. This is a bit off topic but, I feel like when it comes to characters people don't like it's hard for them to see into the characters perspective at all because all they can think about is how much they hate them, or when people like a character so much they fail to see any flaws in them which pisses me off aswell. Even if you don't like Scott, can you at least see where I'm coming from when I say all of this? Or do you just hate him too much to care? Anyways I THINK that's all 🥰

[esta-elavaris]

Fallen Through Time

Part Five [3,132 words]

An AU of my completed, 400k+ word fanfic Catch the Wind [AO3], in which Elizabeth, not James, is the one to discover Theodora Byrne after she crash-lands into the world of Pirates of the Caribbean.

Also now on AO3 (restricted to registered users only thanks to AI mining, sorry!) and FF.net.

Notes re: dubious historical authenticity at the end.

Masterpost - Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - *Part Five* [you’re here!]

Tag list [let me know if you want to be added!]: @missfronkensteen​​​​ @dancerinthestorm​​​​ @teawithshakespeare​​​​

Port Royal was gorgeous. It was something Theo had passively acknowledged when she'd watched the movies, but she'd never really stopped to properly notice it. There was always something else going on - like Jack's arrival…or Jack being shot at…or Jack stealing a ship. He had a knack for stealing the show just as happily as he did ships, she'd give him that. But he was nowhere to be seen now, and she was left basking in the beauty of the world she'd been catapulted into without warning.

Very aware of how easy it would be to get turned around if she ventured beyond the main thoroughfares - and with no wish to get lost (because, duty or no, the only way Norrington could currently hate her more would be if he had to have his men launch a search party for her) - she stuck to the main road. Following it lazily down the hill on which the Governor's mansion was situated upon, she passed a number of large stately houses, or smoothed dirt paths leading to them, likely belonging to the senior-most of the men and good ladies residing here. Those houses and paths dotted around eventually gave way to little other than foliage.

For that stretch of the walk, she was alone with her thoughts - save for the odd passing carriage, from which the passengers inside all but hung out of the window to try and catch a glimpse of her. Word of her presence here had undoubtedly spread, and the town was so small that everybody knew everybody. Plus, she was a tall redhead swanning about - for lack of less apt phrasing - in Elizabeth's clothing. It left little doubt as to who she was.

She smelled the town before she saw it, and while it was one thing to hear that towns would not have smelled great as a passing comment in historical documentaries, it was another thing entirely to experience it. Not only was it a glaring reminder of the sort of hygiene standards (or lack thereof) held by the time, along with the lack of modern plumbing, but with the addition of the smells drifting from the butcher, the fishmonger, and even the blacksmith, it did threaten to overwhelm her. It really harmed her hard-won self-perception of not being some sort of swooning delicate flower, but she tried to chalk it up to her ordeal.

Despite her hearty protests to Elizabeth that she would be fine on this little solo expedition - which were born not only out of a desire for solitude, but out of a determination not to be the sort of guest who was permanently under foot - she had to admit, once the smells hit and the heat grew worse as midday beckoned, that she might've bitten off more than she could chew. Sweat had begun to bead steadily down her neck, and there wasn't much of a breeze so that it might cool her, and she was very aware of her pulse pounding in her skull. Without the heart to turn right away and begin walking back up the hill to make the trek back to the mansion, she turned instead for the docks and sought the refreshing air she might find there.

That was all she needed – a sit down, and some peace to think things through. She'd be right as rain after that.

***

James Norrington was caught in the midst of an annoying week. Not a bad one - after all, none of his men had died over the last few days, and nobody was aiming cannons at his head, so as far as his frame of reference was concerned, all was reasonably well. No, it was just irksome. And it did not appear to be lessening when the primary source of his vexation drifted into his peripheral vision.

At first, for a slight moment, he'd mistaken her for Elizabeth Swann. She was certainly dressed like the Governor's daughter, in a white gown that he'd once noted was very becoming on its rightful owner, her hair bundled atop her head in much the same manner Elizabeth's often was, and what must have been one of Elizabeth's hats propped atop her head. But there was no mistaking the crimson hair…nor the foolishness of her actions.

James sighed, turning his gaze back down to the papers in his hand…although he did not read them.

"Lieutenant Groves."

"Yes, sir?"

"Go and inform Miss Byrne that unless she wishes to fall into the sea a second time, she must vacate that section of the docks as swiftly as possible."

"...Miss Byrne, sir? Governor Swann's guest?"

"The very one," James nodded in her direction, and Groves quickly followed his line of sight before nodding and stepping away.

Only once he'd given him long enough to vacate the ship they'd been getting back up to scratch did James look up from the papers he'd been pretending to busy himself with. He did so reluctantly - half expecting Miss Byrne to be looking right back at him, some scheme ticking behind her eyes. But she was not. In fact, she looked rather pale even despite the tan her burns had faded into, her face drained of most of its colour as one hand clung to the post beside her, her eyes shut and her chest rising and falling in quick succession as she tried to regain her composure.

Even the most talented actress could not blanch at will. They could, however, use pre-existing ailments to their advantage. But to what end? He was fairly certain she did not know he was observing her. Something too closely related to guilt flitted through his chest as he considered the matter - the dilemma - of Theodora Byrne for the thousandth time since meeting her. Their first meeting had not gone particularly well, and although Governor Swann had met him that night to plead her case (and assure him that she had been horrified when their cultural miscommunication, as Weatherby called it, was explained to her), and James was inclined to believe that. She'd have nothing to gain from purposely offending them.

Unfortunately, that was more or less the only part of anything to do with her that he was inclined to believe.

Watching with more interest than he'd own to, he saw as Groves approached the weakened section of the dock with great care, testing the boards beneath his shoes before he stepped forth. It appeared to take a few calls before Miss Byrne came to her senses and noticed him at all. Turning, she blinked at Groves as he remained a few feet safely back, gesturing towards himself as he seemed to explain that she needed to move away. No doubt a touch more gently than James would have done so himself. That might've had something to do with why James had sent him in his stead. But it also gave him much more ample opportunity to observe than he would have if he was involved. From here, he didn't have to concern himself with whether his own façade would coax hers into locking up all while he tried to monitor her and work out what exactly it was she was up to.

She certainly seemed earnest enough as she apologised profusely to Groves – who smiled and joked away her embarrassment with artful ease…and mixed results. For though she offered a smile in return, her discomfort was betrayed in how she twisted her hands in her skirts and ducked her head as Groves continued to speak. None of it rang false to James' eye, even if he tried to make it so - which, truly, he wasn't in the habit of doing. While he saw no profit in deluding himself with heedless optimism, he also saw little benefit in finding foes where none existed. Treating a misfortunate woman who needed his help like she was a criminal, all while she dwelled in the very midst of her woes, would be just as unforgiveable as failing to see ill intent if it was there.

And yet none of that helped him unpuzzle why something about…about her simply rang false to his instincts. Yes, there was the possibility that it was nothing sinister – she'd hardly be the first woman to come to Port Royal with a secret or two – but she would be the first to do so and find herself living with the Swanns. That made all of the difference. They were good people, the very best. He had no desire to see them being taken advantage of due to that fact.

So deep in thought had he been that he found himself staring back like an idiot when Miss Byrne finally sensed his gaze on her, turning her head and pinning him beneath the weight of her sharp blue-grey eyes. His comfort at being caught unguarded was that she seemed as startled to find herself on the other end of his gaze as he did hers, her eyes widening as she faltered, and then haltingly lifted a hand in a reluctant imitation of a wave.

There was little chance of him returning it. But seeing that he'd been caught observing – and that, annoyingly, Groves seemed to be in little hurry to leave their new arrival, James sighed and turned away from the rail of the ship.

***

Theo watched with disappointment, but not a great deal of surprise, when Norrington responded to her wave by not responding to her wave at all. Not even a nod was given in response, and she watch as he sighed and turned away, walking out of sight.

"I wasn't…I was…"

God, getting used to speaking in a time-appropriate manner was doing nothing to help her not sound like a bumbling idiot. Of course, what also did not help was the fact that every time Groves spoke to her, he did so with the voice of one of her favourite video game characters – one her Inquisitor had married an unspeakable number of times in Dragon Age: Inquisition – which just added a fresh, new layer to the surreal nature of being surrounded by people who should not actually exist. No offence to them. Although she supposed around here, she was the one who shouldn't actually exist, so it was all just a matter of perspective, really. Norrington seemed to be firmly settling into that opinion, at least.

After a shocking number of false starts, and a great deal of patience from Groves, she finally collected herself and achieved the glowing feat of a full sentence.

"I was feeling out of sorts, and I thought I'd sit down and…look at the ships…"

Maybe ship-spotting had caught on in the days before trainspotting was a possibility.

"Look at the ships?" he echoed with a bemused smile "Have you family in the Navy?"

"No, no – it's just an, erm, academic interest. Although not that academic considering I don't know that much."

The smile remained on Groves' face, and she was growing increasingly relieved to find that Elizabeth wasn't the only person in Port Royal to find her weirdness endearing. Not least because she still wasn't feeling entirely right, and she might need him to catch her if she passed out.

"Well, if you've any questions I'll be happy to answer them. I wouldn't go as far as to say that I'm an expert, but I do know a thing or two about ships."

"An occupational hazard, I'd guess," she said – and he chuckled and agreed. "Don't you have to get back to your captain?"

"I was sent to remove you from the dock, and to ascertain that you were well. Forgive me, but you're still worryingly pale, so I believe my job is not yet done."

He was hardly wrong. While she was feeling better than she had, she still didn't fancy her chances at successfully completing the walk back to the Governor's mansion just yet.

"What makes the Interceptor so fast? One of the fastest in the Caribbean, right?"

"The fastest," Groves corrected proudly.

Well, he could debate Jack on that matter later. Disagreeing would only make her sound like a pirate – and Groves continued before she could do so, anyway.

"She's a brig, so she's smaller and more manoeuvrable, along with having less weight to be hauled by the sails."

"I suppose you don't need the sort of guns a man-of-war packs when you're on them before they can sneeze. Or when Captain Norrington's at the helm."

Groves chuckled, "The Captain has earned his reputation, to be sure."

"I did have another question, but I think it's going to sound daft," as daft as sitting on a structurally questionable dock in front of a whole shipload of men, she supposed. "The…the bottom bit of the ship. The panels…"

"The keel?" he guessed with that same amused smile.

"Probably," she shrugged, "It looks a bit different to the others – it's inspired by Viking longships, isn't it? Is that how it gets the speed?"

His eyebrows shot up towards his wig.

"Yes, I believe so. Very good! They did revolutionise shipbuilding, and so you'd be hard-pressed to find a ship today that doesn't benefit from their methods in some way or another, but the Interceptor…she leans a bit more into that than, say, the Dauntless."

"Heathens they might have been, but there were not entirely useless."

The unmistakeable voice of Captain James Norrington joined the fray, and the nice moment she'd been enjoying of feeling like a normal person having a normal chat was shattered in an instant. Theo felt the smile on her face become a touch more strained as she turned to greet him.

"Well, even a broken clock's right twice a day, right? Hello, Captain Norrington."

"Miss Byrne. You appear much improved."

"Give me another week and I'll be able to work out for myself why this was the one completely empty dock in the port," her smile gained a sheepish quality "I'm sorry."

"It's no matter."

"Yeah- yes, well, while I'm apologising – I misspoke last time we met."

Norrington cleared his throat, "Governor Swann offered your explanation and apology both last we spoke. Do not trouble yourself with it, madam."

"I know, but it's my apology to give and so I should be the one to give it. I didn't realise what I was implying at the time, and that wasn't what I meant by it. I'm sorry. Genuinely."

"It's no matter," he repeated, "Put it from your mind, Miss Byrne."

Well. It wasn't exactly the warm and rosy acceptance she'd been hoping for. Although warm and rosy were not things she'd come to expect from Norrington in their short acquaintance, either, so she didn't feel much of a sense of loss.

"How is it that you come to know so much about ships?"

Every the straightforward one, he asked her the question bluntly before an awkward silence could even think to settle over them. Groves, at least, appeared relieved for it – it was obvious he hadn't known quite what to do with himself as she'd made her apologies to his captain.

"From a book."

Or a TV series on Amazon Prime. Same thing, really. Kind of. In a metaphorical way.

"A book? A book that you read?"

"Only when smacking it against my forehead didn't get me anywhere."

Groves covered up a laugh with a cough, but Norrington seemed far too concerned with her scandalous book-reading to send so much as a withering glare in the direction of his lieutenant. It was almost enough to stop her from noticing the way one corner of his lips just slightly twitched upwards. One of these days she'd manage to get a smile out of him. She'd settle for a smirk.

"What was the name of this book?" he levelled the question her way like it was a challenge.

Oh god, did he think she was lying about what she read now? Sure, technically she was, but this was getting a touch ridiculous.

"It…was a series of tales and legends about Ragnar Lothbrok. I forget the author. The account of how he first found the Lindisfarne monastery is fascinating, though."

Hopefully he'd realise that if this was part of her dastardly plan to earn herself a false reputation as a Viking historian in Port Royal, she'd have made up the name of an author…but she'd thrown in an errant detail just for good measure.

"I shall have to read it," he said flatly.

God, if he ever did catch her out in some sort of scheme, he'd be bloody thrilled – because so far, he'd been blatantly pissed off every time he realised she wasn't up to something.

"Right. Well. It was nice to meet you, Lieutenant Groves," she said, smoothing her skirts and preparing to make an exit.

It was becoming clear that Norrington was reluctant to leave her here – lest she go plummeting through the dock through sheer force of stupidity.

"And you, Miss Byrne," Groves, at least, offered her a smile.

"And I'm glad I got a chance to offer you my apologies in person, Captain Norrington. Thank you for hearing me out."

His brow furrowed a little at that – she'd spoken with her eyes meeting his, hoping to show him just how sincere she was. Judging by how he faltered, he saw it. The furrow in his brow lessened, and then he finally offered her a nod and a 'have a pleasant day, Miss Byrne' that didn't even sound like a thinly veiled 'piss off'.

They remained on the dock behind her when she took her leave, and Norrington must've underestimated the scope of her hearing, for once he thought she was out of earshot, he asked Groves quietly.

"Tell me, Lieutenant, what do you make of Miss Byrne?"

"Miss Byrne, sir?"

"Yes."

"I…I suppose I found her rather charming."

The silence that evoked wad nothing short of deafening.

Notes: The ship trivia here is 90% invention based tenuous fact. If it's accurate, that's a stroke of pure luck, but it's probably not. Just a mild disclaimer. Leaning into the 'fantasy' aspect of historical fantasy here lolol.

[softguarnere]

hello! :) i'm working on a bob fanfiction right now, and i wanted to know if you had any tips for aspiring bob fanfic writers (or if you had talked about this before?) i'm especially curious what you have to say about balancing the historical accuracy of the story vs deviations from history, as well as how to weave an oc into the original plot of the show while still keeping the content fresh and (somewhat) original

oh! and also how you go about doing your research (if you do any)

your writing is a huge inspiration to me, so thanks so much!! i hope you have a good day :D

Hi Anon! I answered something similar here if you want to check that out

Aside from just going for it and having fun with it, I do have some thoughts (everybody act shocked), but I'll try to keep it concise 🤗

Balancing historical accuracy with fiction

First and foremost, I feel like it's helpful to point out that Stephen Ambrose made some mistakes in BOB. Not trying to disparage his name or anything, just to be clear! Several of the men (Speirs, Shifty) pointed out mistakes he made about them in the book.

Why am I mentioning this? Because I'm a historian and I'm annoying about it lol Because the historical narrative we're drawing our inspiration for fics from isn't a narrative that everyone agrees on -- then again, good luck finding one that people do, but I digress -- I think it gives some wiggle room for bending the story a bit to make it work for the narrative that we as writers are trying to create

Similarly, I feel like it's important to invoke the disclaimer that many of us put on our fics: these stories about fictional representations from a show (though it is based on real people and events)

In the end, we're all taking liberties with the narrative for the sake of our writing. Most people in the fandom probably won't bite your head off if you use plotlines that are alternate histories because most of us are doing them, too -- and a lot of writers here have some very cool ideas and plots with alternate histories that are really good reads!

At the end of the day, don't feel pressured to stick directly to the historical narrative. After all, we're writers -- having imagination is what we do

Weaving an OC into a well-known narrative

Oh boy. I'm not sure if there's a great way to answer this. Personally, I knew who my OC was, what her background, wants desires, etc. were, and then I just sort of . . . set her free into the story? There are moments directly from the show where I wove her in and made her a part of that scene, and then there are interactions and plotlines that I came up with myself.

Honestly, it probably depends on your plot and your character. No one really wants to read a re-write of BOB -- after all, that's why we're all out here writing fics with our own ideas and stories. However, if you feel that a certain scene would further your plot/advance your character, and that you can weave them into it, then go for it! It's all about how you write and what feels right to you for your story.

Research

Have I abused some of my historian privileges during my time in this fandom? Perhaps 👀 But if you don't have university archival access, never fear! There are still lots of good ways to research

In terms of background, I found that reading the memoirs and biographies of the Easy Company men was really helpful when figuring out how to write them. It was also good for learning stories and experiences that did not make it into BOB. Watching interviews with them on YouTube and watching interviews with the actors was also extremely helpful for things like speech cadence, mannerisms, etc.

Definitely branch out, though! I was lucky in that I had to do some projects about WW2 around the time that I joined the fandom, so researching different aspects of the period was helpful for me when I started writing. Don't feel like you have to rush out and read every WW2 book or watch every documentary, but it can definitely help with learning different perspectives and experiences, as well as providing context.

If you ever want book recommendations, feel free to reach out! Especially if you need book recs about paratroopers in general, because I have a whole shelf space dedicated to those haha

Lastly, thank you so much for the lovely compliment, Anon -- and thank you for trusting me enough to reach out! 🥹 Feel free to reach out if you ever want to chat, and I look forward to reading what you write in the future 💕

(Other BOB writers feel free to add on!)

[hylianengineer]

Okay I'm done with the film review for my sociology class, now you can all have my rant about it, and it's LONG so it's going under a read more:

I'm watching that new Netflix documentary about dirt - Kiss The Ground. For context, I'm an undergrad researcher in biogeochemistry and I study the carbon cycle, particularly a very specific type of decomposition that occurs in waterlogged soils - methanogenesis.

I'm so thrilled that something this mainstream is talking about soil carbon, soil microbes (my beloveds), and carbon sequestration. They're talking about root exudates and mychorrizhae and agriculture as part of an ecosystem! That's exciting. There's also a really excellent dose of climate hope in this documentary - and I am really excited to see that concept getting out of niche environmental circles and into things that regular people might actually watch.

On the other hand, parts of this documentary tick me off. I do not consider Tom Brady, nor his wife, to be a reliable source about the importance of organic agriculture. I know you're trying to interest the non-science types but come on, that is a classic appeal to irrelevant authority fallacy. And they should have said the thing about how we do still have to stop using fossil fuels and reach net zero emissions IN ADDITION TO sequestering the carbon we've already emitted more than one time in the whole film, because I just know people are going to take the rest of this message and run with it in the wrong direction. And they are really hammering home the appeal to emotions in the first half, to the point where I think the core of their argument suffers for it. Are you trying to explain this thing to me or are you throwing around buzzwords and pictures of sick children in hopes I'll get distracted?

Also they keep introducing guests with credentials like "ecologist from the Rodale Institute." You know nobody knows what the fuck that is, right? (It's an NGO dedicated to organic farming, for the record, but I did have to google it, and they had multiple guest speakers from this group.) Come on, you have no credibility if I can't tell where your info's coming from, and most people are not going to do background research as they watch a documentary.

Overall, I agree with their main points but I'm annoyed with how they made them. They're right about the ability of soil to sequester carbon, they're right that it could play a big role in climate change mitigation, and they're right that helping the soil is also better for people, ecosystems, and the planet. They're right about no till farming, permaculture, and crop diversity. They're even right about the bullshit that is the US industrial agricultural system, and they dug into how it came about in the post-WWII era, which isn't something I see talked about much. Kind of baffled how they managed to talk about soil degradation in the Midwestern USA without getting into the unique ways prairie soil and roots work, and instead went down a weird rambly path about how plows are bad (true, at least here - I cant speak for ecosystems I don't know as well - but explained poorly) and cows are good because this system evolved to have bison in it (sort of true, but incomplete. Cows aren't bison and the differences do matter.)

Also, reduced meat consumption is a very common thing that a lot of experts say is needed for climate change mitigation, and don't think I didn't notice how you sidestepped the issue just to say 'cows are good actually, stop vilifying cows.' I call bullshit. Just because cows work well in some ecosystems on a certain scale does not mean that it's possible to farm meat sustainably on the scale we currently do - factory farming and feedlots (CAFOs, if you want to get technical) are what allows us to make this much meat in the first place. You just admitted we need cows spread out on a lot more land to making ranching sustainable, and then failed to address the fact that this idyllic system doesn't really mesh with a world in which everybody eats multiple servings of beef per day. I see that decision and I know why you made it, because asking people to make sacrifices for the climate tends to make them ignore you, I don't even necessarily disagree with that decision because I know you're trying to persuade normal people and not environmentalists, but don't think I didn't notice.

Okay, fine, NOW they're talking about eating less meat and how what meat people do eat needs to come from more sustainable agricultural practices. Good. Better.

Oh look at our free range eggs, they're orange and that means they have more nutrients. Do they? Please back up this claim with scientific evidence. Of course the farmer says his eggs are better, he raised them. It's plausible, but I am pedantic and a scientist and I want data. You have to prove things to me.

Overall not a horrible documentary but ticks me off in several ways and tries to cram too many different subjects into like an hour and a half. Also, visiting the film's website makes me MORE ANGRY because they say even STUPIDER things about how they think climate science works. They make it sound like carbon sequestration in soil is THE solution which is BULLSHIT. There is no THE solution, there's gotta be a bunch of em stacked on top of each other - according to basically every climate change mitigation plan I've ever heard of (Project Drawdown is a good example). There's this metaphor I like to use to explain this to people - there's no silver bullet, but there could be silver buckshot. I read that somewhere once and cannot remember where but I'll never forget it.

Anyways, if you want a good intro to soil health directed at non-scientists/environmentalists, Kiss The Ground isn't bad, but you gotta think critically about some of the claims it's making because some of them are bullshit.

[kimbap-r0ll]

hi hi! i had an idea for angst/comfort, if you're okay with that! i was thinking about prefect (reader) relating to vil. they confide to him about their old life, while checking up on him after his overblot (you know, angst time heh). but they dont do that to bring him down and not in a toxic way T-T [their relationship can be platonic where both of them are really fond of each other!] what if reader in their world had a close family member who was a politician? they share the same last name, so people always connected them with the said politician (which was for prefect quite exhausting). since reader was a little kid, they were used to being in flashes of cameras and to all that life, similairly to vil. people looking bad at them just because reader shared a name, people constantly judging them. most importantly, they were always expected to be the best in every sense, to just be perfect. so they lived all their life to be perfect and they are so glad they could somehow start here without anyone knowing them. of course you can alter and change whatever you feel like! thank you for reading this, whether you'll write it or not! i really appreaciate your work so thank you for existing!! <3<3 -zn

Hm, this one's interesting, thank you for the ask! I'm someone who reads on current events a lot and so this one was backed by a lot of the knowledge I got from my uni courses and the many documentaries and news coverages I've seen and read. I'm also assuming reader is from our world? Oof this is going to be more confusing for twst characters but here's my take.

Vil with a reader who is related to a political figure in their world

I don't know what kind of government the reader's relative is part of and what party they may be in, but nonetheless being related to a political figure could come with its ups and downs

You're right in saying that there are people wishing to speak with the politician through y/n, but the idea that they would say "oh be perfect like a royal" might only come from a few. Most of the time, they would be judgemental on what move you make concerning certain political controversies

For example, they won't scrutinize you for drinking jasmine tea and not green tea, most people will just put that under a "personal life" title for their wiki page. BUT if you voice support for your relative or criticism for a certain policy, then yes the press will be interested in the reasons why

I doubt it will be just celebrity life in some cases. There are relatives that go unnoticed if they are not known by the press. But if y/n in this case is a direct relative like a son or daughter, then yes the press may follow them around.

I feel like Vil would try his best to help you with stress that comes with interviews or press coverages, but the kind of press you two deal with is different and he may not understand everything

For example, the questions he gets will focus on his favorite drinks, what movie role he wants, etc. But for you, they may ask your support on a policy regarding natural resources. The lens from the news is different and therefore you two may have miscommunications when talking about the press

Vil doesn't mind if y/n doesn't support him after the overblot. He didn't expect it to be honest since he's used to moving on without people patting his back. If he does get some checkups from you, he'll be grateful but he won't consider it as annoying. It's nice to know you care for him anyways (his ego doesn't need more boosting however so no worries on not helping all the time)

Vil does listen to you, so you can trust him. He doesn't care too much on your political views as long as you can take care of yourself. He does find some relief in knowing that you coming to his world did some good, even if it means we don't know if you will go back to your home anytime soon

But overall, I feel like the political climate of where you're from won't translate completely to Vil since politics in his world might be different. Nonetheless, he'll be by your side

[luwupercal]

this post got five likes so i'm posting this vignette. it's part of an au i discussed w @horuslupercal a while ago i might've posted about it? anyway here's a little under 1000 words written at 5 AM. very funny i guarantee!! if you can guess when it's set and/or what's going on you win an internet cookie <3. but with no more addendums here is:

PUNCH.

They would be known as "cameras", to you, the flock of glass-eyed artefacts that descend upon the occasion. Recording footage for a—now perhaps not-so-glorious—posterity, these clockwork vultures are the emotionless wandering eye of an empire that’s not so much in mourning as it is in doubt: how can the mighty fall? How many lies have they promised? How mad should they be? The remembrancers manning the swarm will provide, hopefully, part of the answer to these questions; the rest of it, tonight at 8, on every planet unlucky enough to have figured out 24-hour media circuses.

One of these cameras seems unremarkable. Its model isn't even gold-plated and engraved like the fashion demands nowadays, shy in its bare steel shell—but it is, actually, a very lucky camera. In fact, it might be the luckiest. (Its contents will soon propel its wielder into non-literal Sainthood for the next century, and if possible, literal Sainthood for two after that—no small task, dare I say).

This camera is not trained on the procession: its larger and better sister has that job, and the lucky little camera's operator instead is swerving around the crowd, trying to capture this energy. She wants to do her own documentary filmmaking, you see, but she's stuck apprenticing; but this is such a powerful moment in the history of Humanity, she gathers, that, even if nothing happens, any footage she captures—on this humble silver creature—of the unnameable emotion currently permeating the air is something that can, and will, be used for millennia to come.

But remember: this camera is lucky, and so her operator—her name would translate to Daisy, with some liberties—notices a break in a vital part of those gathered, in a half-shadowed corner.

Two relatives, both tall and long haired; one steps aside, the other follows on cue, invited. They separate somewhat from the crowd, and Daisy's lucky, lucky camera zooms closer. As the view inches forward, the shorter figure's body language changes; he steps back, away from the other. Then his—limbs, so to speak, his whole body, the soft enormity of it, raises its hackles. He steps closer to the taller one, who looks unphased, surprised maybe, annoyed at the surprise. And then, right after the camera jerks forward one last time, the action comes.

The lucky, lucky camera is the only one who records any footage of Sanguinius punching the everloving shit out of Lion El'Jonson's jaw at the late Warmaster's funeral. 

It remains its homeworld's most prized possession, even today.

The Lion, of course, has an approximate shit-tonne of metric force directed to his face by a man who flies with those back muscles. So, yes, he stumbles. It is in fact a testament to his strength that he doesn't fucking crashland on his derrière. He doesn't get the last word in the argument; Sanguinius rejoins the funeral procession, now fuming at the audacity. New warmaster. New warmaster! A proposal to fill the post! At their brother's funeral—Sanguinius never believed the Lion to be so thoughtless, but this is something else. At their brother's—when they should be—his eyes well up once more. Sanguinius thought grief was an old friend, for those who raised him, for his sons, for—for unnameable people. He didn't expect the suddenness—he likes the Baalite word, súbito—of this loss. It feels like an old and loveable neighbour is pummeling him across the chest with a hammer; these are not, necessarily, tears he wants to turn into a fashion statement.

The Lion rejoins his family after a minute, pride wounded in more ways than one. Fulgrim shoots him an unabashed look, then makes a maddened grin of disbelief that the Lion actually growls at. Fulgrim ignores that, shooting a wide-eyed glance and a head-tilt at Ferrus—who's been occasionally side-eyeing Fulgrim's thicker-than-usual makeup for the funeral with confusion, and Lion has noticed that, thank you very much—to indicate to him Lion's new angel-given bruise. Ferrus doesn't have the willpower to hold back a snort, and the Lion swears vengeance on both of them—failing to notice, of course, how his appearance has been the first thing to produce such a reaction out of an unusually quiet Fulgrim in the whole day.

Next to Ferrus is Guilliman—Angron is absent, as is Curze, for perhaps the obvious reasons that they're technically-at-large-Terra has it covered do not even worry; Roboute notices Ferrus's double-take and steels his expression, still trying to will away with determination alone the ugly redness that creeps over his patrician features when he's recently cried in fear. Mortarion, next over, doesn't see any of it, his face under the hood a terrifyingly blank mask; Magnus, fresh from colloquial house arrest and with his hair tamed perhaps for the first time since the Lion met him, has already turned to Sanguinius, sensing a new emotion in the maelstrom of his grief. (It isn't so much anger or offence as it is wrath). Besides Fulgrim, Perturabo peers at him so discreetly the Lion almost doesn't notice and then looks back at Horus's grave, dissociated; Jaghatai Khan not so much sees as perceives a disturbance and crosses something off a mental bingo with genuine bitterness. Slowly, the information trickles, Rogal Dorn blatantly ignoring them, Vulkan frowning in obvious concern, Leman's disappointment a surprise to the both of them, Corax an enigma as he always is.

But it's Lorgar's reaction that sticks with Lion—he struggles to read faces at the best of times (misses Luther's assistance when he sees it, regrets leaving him back with his Legion). But he remembers it—and he will ignore it at first, but later, when things come to light, he won't be able to help but think that what his paranoid mind saw now makes for a sickening picture.

The pure, unadulterated guilt that knits together Lorgar's face is unmistakable, even to him.