#They're fans who want a safe space like anyone else

[selfship-vent-confessions]

I will never understand non-sharing. Their F/Os are just fictitious characters, they are not their property. :/

It's usually for comfort. Some people are just very closely attached to the characters and thus feel uncomfortable sharing them. Sometimes it's because they're ficto in some way and thus view the characters as being genuine partners cause the love for them is the same as any nonfictional relationship (which is completely valid, by the way), and sometimes it's just because they don't want to for their own reasons

Yes, some people can be rude about being not open to sharing, but not all non-sharers are aggressive about it. Most are fans just like you who want to feel safe in their community just like you do. Most don't even view the characters as their "property", they just don't feel comfortable interacting with those who have the same F/O as them. It's a boundary and should be respected just as much as people that are okay with sharing

I'm mainly answering this just to give some information, but this is a safe space for sharers and non-sharers. You gotta realize that to some people these aren't just "fictitious characters", and selfshipping is a lot more personal.

[clonerightsagenda]

May I ask what the 'no sex in space' rant is? Zero G sounds like fun :<

The space sex rant is my passion. Possibly because I have no emotional investment in the act so when it gets broken down into weird biology and mechanics by the cruel forces of physics, I find it kind of fascinating.

Sticking this below the cut because it will get long. My primary source is Packing for Mars by Mary Roach, but A City on Mars gets into the same issues. Yes, at least two books have entire chapters devoted to the space sex problem.

Note that this is all assuming microgravity. Many of the problems go away if you have artificial gravity, which we haven't cracked yet beyond building centrifuges. Your Star Trek fanfics are safe. So without further ado, and in no particular order, reasons why you probably shouldn't have sex in zero gravity and it probably wouldn't be that fun if you did:

The infamous 'no boners in space'. Since we're evolved to live in gravity, our bodies compensate for it by putting more effort into getting fluids above our heart. In microgravity, that's unnecessary, so you end up with fluid shift - more fluids, including blood, in the upper body. Your total blood volume also goes down. This would make an erection more difficult, and in fact most astronauts interviewed for whom this would be relevant claimed they didn't get any. The outlier here is Mike Mullane, but having read his memoir, he is the kind of guy who would lie about that. Now, as I touched on while despairingly liveblogging Barrayar, that does not prevent you from having a good time. However less blood flow would presumably mean less sensation in general for anyone below the belt. Or if you stimulated too much blood flow, with the lower total blood volume, perhaps that 'got dizzy because I got horny' joke will actually come true.

In microgravity, body heat and CO2 don't disperse the same way they do in regular atmosphere. Astronauts have to make sure they sleep in well-ventilated areas and are also trained on symptoms of CO2 poisoning. If multiple people are in an area exerting themselves, that buildup will happen faster and would need to be taken into account. It would be super embarrassing to suffocate crammed into a closet for some hanky panky.

The laws of motion are not your friend here. I've seen videos of astronauts pushing themselves across the room with a strand of hair. If you're trying to hold onto someone, you'd either want a relatively small space (maybe not a great idea, see point 2) or hold on really well. One astronaut Mary Roach interviewed suggested duct tape. Perhaps fuzzy handcuffs are critical here. Still you're going to need to put a lot of thought into every move you make.

Space is gross. :( Right now astronauts just wipe themselves down with clothes and dry shampoo. "Skin flakes" is a serious problem. Also we're still not entirely sure why, but astronauts develop awful body odor. According to Mary Roach again, while armpits are famous as a BO source, apparently the crotch is as well, it's just that those regions are typically further from our nose. So idk if anyone's going to want to get that close and personal with anyone else while they're up there. Then again I'm sure people have hooked up in grosser situations.

I'm probably forgetting some tidbits since I just woke up, but in summary, zero gravity sex would need to be carefully choreographed, require some equipment (fan, fasteners), and probably wouldn't even be as enjoyable as its Earthnorm counterpart. It's a good thing that's not what anyone's up there for.

[presidentbungus]

you wanna do a sniperspy snippet for me...for little ol me......?

always 🥺

ao3

Sniper's not a huge fan of the weather at this new base--they're somewhere in the Northern US, and he wasn't exactly bred for temperatures below twenty-five, but he finds it's worth braving the perpetual moistness for the new base itself.

It's a drab, rickety old building, just like the lot of them, except this time it's built out of rotting wood that someone puts a new hole in just by walking four times a week. But--but, it's an abandoned factory, aged out of utility for that purpose, and old buildings like this are full of nooks and crannies.

Sniper is some kind of burrowing animal at heart and small spaces have always been a favourite of his, so this is an arrangement that works out well for him. It's something besides sitting in his van playing jazz and thinking about his guns, even if it is sitting in a small dusty room in silence thinking about his guns—and no one really cares for exploring so it's usually a safe bet he'll be left alone.

Usually.

The good thing is that the stairs leading up to this particular room, fulla dusty tables with a nice look out into leaves and just about nothing else, act as a built-in intruder alarm with how creaky the stairs are. The bad news is that right now someone is thundering up those bloody stairs and he's in the middle of making great progress knitting himself a scarf.

It's not exactly Scout who he expects to see turn the corner--mostly because he's usually a lot quieter, has this tendency of sneaking up on people, and Sniper coulda sworn he just heard him calling points, or, laps or... is pitches a baseball thing? Somewhere outside.

But the little bugger is fast enough to make that plausible and more importantly looks like he wants something. "Hey... Snipes."

No harm in starting this off with a nice, round, "I'm busy."

"... Sunshine 'n rainbows," Scout mutters. Then he sees the knitting needles in Sniper's hands--a hideous smirk stretches across his face. "You fast-trackin' your grandma career already? Heh."

Scout brought a smell with him into the room. Something dark, and smoky, that settles itself in Sniper's chest. It's so intensely familiar but he can't quite place it. "What do you want?"

“What, is this weird? Something wrong, big guy?” And Scout gets a lot closer, wringing his hands together in a way he distinctly doesn’t do—

Metal flashes in Scout’s hand—Sniper grabs his wrist with unexpected ease and takes out his own blade, and his kukri glides into Scout’s stomach like a nice hot knife through butter. He lets out a high, pinched wheeze, though the lopsided grin keeps spreading across his face--as the shitty cotton crumpled under his fingers ripples into pinstripes, and the hand on his bicep morphs into smooth black leather.

"Maybe it'd do ya some bloody good to stop wearing that cologne," Sniper mutters. He steps away as much as he can with half his weapon sticking outta Spy--the closeness makes him dizzier than he'd like to admit, the smell of smoke and whiskey.

Spy just wordlessly clutches Sniper like any of this still hurts at this point in their jobs, and a thin line of blood starts trailing out between his teeth.

He already knew it, but the confirmation of it annoys him. "You wanted to get caught," Sniper says, grimly—through what would be a carefully-crafted facade of ambivalence to anyone else, but he knows Spy can look straight through him, read him like a bloody book, so he keeps on pushing the knife through his stomach until he can see the tip come out on the other side, glistening crimson.

Spy coughs for a little while before he seems to be able to work up the breath to respond. "You are not a very good host, are you?"

"Figure there's a bit of a difference between a guest and a bloody intruder, mate."

There's blood all over Sniper's shirt. Oh well. "The fact that you are yet to kill me indicates you are unsure where that line lies…” His eyes flick up teasingly. “Mon ami."

And the right thing to do after that, the professional thing to do, is to pull his kukri out and then shove it into Spy's face until he can't tell the difference between brain and gristle, but he still just keeps standing there with their faces way too close for comfort, frozen to his spot.

Spy notices his hesitation, of course he does. And somehow his smile keeps twitching wider, even as the rest of his face knits itself together with the effort of standing. "You seem to have made your decision."

"Do you have anything to do besides..." He doesn't want to find the word. "This?"

"Dinner," Spy says quickly. "Ah, picnics... weekends away..." He glances up at Sniper long enough to imply, and teasingly: "But no, nothing I can do alone."

"What about sitting here and bleeding out while I go find someone better to talk to?"

"But who is better to talk to," Spy gurgles, "than the man you spend all day on the battlefield ogling through your scope?"

He can't stop the blush from crawling across his face. "Not—ogling is a—I'm just doin' my job."

"And I am very much not doing mine. All I ask is one night." Then that hand shifts over to his chest, trails up to his neck.

"You have a motive you’re not giving here." They both know this isn't true. Sniper already knows he's going to leave this room having promised something he's not entirely sure about, but there's no point in dropping the charade just yet.

"Do you want me to beg, monsieur?" He must not respond quick enough, because he follows right away: "You have no perception of how dire the romantic prospects stand on my team, and you are, regrettably… so very handsome.” Smart fingers pass all the way up his cheek, dip just under the collar of his shirt, like there isn’t a knife in his stomach. “And I know there is something about me that attracts you, and you seem to be completely unwilling to cross the distance on your own, and I will refuse to continue standing for it." Spy pauses for a second to spit the blood out of his mouth and then turns back to Sniper and grins. "Kiss me."

That's the first thing he's said all day that actually makes sense. The next few seconds is a blur; thankfully there's enough blood in both of their mouths that covers up the fact that Sniper has no idea what he's doing and Spy very much does.

At some point Spy's legs buckle and he hits the floor with a loud thump--Sniper doesn't go with him, really takes him a couple of seconds of standing and blinking to figure out what just happened to him, and finally, finally, the image of Spy laying on the ground and choking on his own blood reminds Sniper that he is currently being paid to do a job.

The sound of him pulling his rifle off his back doesn't seem to perturb Spy at all; in fact, his smile still defies physics and finds room to grow, even as he writhes in the ground out of... what can't really be called pain anymore, but instinct.

With a gun-barrel resting on his forehead all Spy does is raise his hand and say: "I will see you on Friday. Shower."

All Sniper can find to say to that is "I shower," but that's muttered in the middle of the gunshot and at that point it's a losing fight. He knows Spy's just getting on his nerves. That's all the bugger does.

Arsehole didn't even bother to confirm that Sniper had any interest in seeing him, but... Sniper knows, with a heavy dose of shame, he probably implied the answer well enough on his own. Piss.

[yuri-is-online]

I’ve been skimming through fluff fics lately, and a fun little realization popped up in my mind. It’s not often people talk about the downs in a potential relationship with the twst boys. For the sake of a more realistic perspective, I’ve got to ask. Who do you think is most likely to unintentionally hurt Yuu and why? - 🦐

Hello my shrimpy friend! So nice to hear from you, hope you're doing well. Fan fic in general isn't very focused on portraying the negative parts of a relationship because it's a form of escapism. People don't necessarily want to picture themselves in a bad spot in a relationship if they already are in one in real life, yk?

That being said making mistakes is part of any relationship so I do have some thoughts! They/them used for Yuu as always, this is angst so proceed with care.

Azul- he doesn't have the healthiest mental framework surrounding friendships, and you do need to be friends with your SO to have a solid relationship. An actual relationship with Yuu would probably have a bumpy start as you two try to feel out what the dynamic is actually supposed to be. Take it slow and everything will be fine, but there might be some hurt feelings along the way. And a lot of assumptions from other people about your relationship that don't help either of you.

LEONA- he's a rude ass bitch who doesn't have great manners I am so sorry to this man. To be fair though I think a lot of that rudeness would be something that would take place before the actual relationship, because I firmly believe if it's pointed out to Leona by his partner that he has communication issues he's more than willing to work on that with them. He would be a good boyfriend! It's just all the conversations up to the actual going out that's painful and might ruin what he wants before he actually gets it.

Riddle- so I don't think Riddle's treatment of Yuu is what might hurt them exactly, his issues as always have to do with his mother. He needs to figure out exactly how he wants to deal with his childhood trauma and his adult relationship with her, but that's going to take a lot of time and personal growth. Mrs. Rosehearts seems like the type to try and continue running her son's life after he graduates so I can't see her treating Riddle's partner well. Going no contact with an emotionally abusive parent is really hard for their children to do, Riddle needs love and support but the journey can be emotionally draining for the person giving that support.

Sebek- again with the family thing. His parents sound like wonderful people but his Grandfather seems to only like his grandchildren because they're half fae and still actively hates his son in law. I can't see him treating Yuu any better, which I could see being very draining since Sebek and his grandpa are very close. It could also be a chance for Baul to change a bit, which would be nice.

Cater and Idia- I'm making them share a spot because similarly to Leona I think the major hurts would be caused pre-relationship, but unlike him I don't see their communication issues as being something that would affect the relationship in the same way going forward. Cater has a lot of insecurities and can be a bit shallow, but he is a good friend so once he accepts Yuu as a safe space to speak openly and honestly I don't see them as having too many issues. Idia is also shown to be very open and honest with Ortho, his self hatred, temper, and inferiority/superiority complex just get in the way of him letting anyone else in.

In general, a lot of the twst guys have communication issues which is something people can work through, but would still cause some pain. Something to think about I suppose σ(￣、￣=)

[gunsatthaphan]

✌🏻✨ ~ 2023 wrap-up ~ ✨✌🏻

another year gone, another post no one asked for djkghdf

I normally don't talk about personal stuff on here but like in the previous year I wanted do a little recap and give shoutouts to some lovely people 🧡

It hasn't been an easy year for me, I started a new job which has been stressful and annihilated my work-life balance which resulted in me being sick a lot & just being stressed for most of the year lol. I barely found time to maintain this blog which may not seem like it on the outside since I somehow managed to frequently post but it's been difficult. I know I don't have to be online 24/7 but the fear of slipping into irrelevancy due to lack of content remains. I didn't have much time to watch bls & asian shows in general which I still consider my safe space and escapism so I'm resentful that I didn't get to fully take in and enjoy the things I'm passionate about and make content about them like I did in the previous years. That being said thank god for all the weekend shows that I did manage to watch and fully focus on like Only Friends and now Cooking Crush and Cherry Magic. Those have been life savers lol and also thank god for all the talented creators who gave us tons of content; I will mention some of them below.

But aside from my personal schedule and despite not watching a lot of stuff, I still tried to keep an eye on what's going on in the BL world for my monthly breakdowns, which I still enjoy making and I will likely continue them in 2024. I also came to the conclusion that 2023 ended up being another rendition of quantity > quality in the BL-verse so not much has changed lol - not that I expected it to. We got a wild and extended mix of different genres and subgenres this year which was nice to see. We saw companies & actors experimenting a lot (with varying results), we got new ships, new fandoms and new enemies, as well as a variety of comebacks and retirements. My watchlist this year was limited to Thai BLs and my blog mostly consisted of gmmtv related content and like I said, if I had had more time I probably would have explored more different shows - but I eventually resorted to what's familiar. I guess I needed an anchor in midst of all my personal chaos lol.

But despite my short list, there were a few gems that I enjoyed. The big ones like Only Friends, Moonlight Chicken, Be My Favorite, etc., and the small, less popular ones like Be Mine Superstar, Mission Fan Possible and a few more. I enjoyed talking to friends & making content about them in the limited timeframes I had. My opinions mostly matched those of the general public but unfortunately there were a few disappointments that were bathing in a success that I could not wrap my head around - Dangerous Romance and A Boss and a Babe being at the top of that list, followed by La Pluie and also a few of the lakorns I watched. But anyway.

Anyone who knows me knows my blog has been 83% FirstKhao this year lmao, they're my favorite people in this industry and watching them act, interact & making content about them has been one of my highlights. I'm excited to see what 2024 brings for them and even if it's not a series, I'm looking forward to seeing what else they will be up to 🥺 🐈‍⬛ 🐈

I'm going into 2024 with mixed feelings but above all I hope I will get the chance to expand my watchlist a little. I will post a personal top10 of the shows I watched this year shortly; until then I want to talk a bit about some lovely people this year - I’m not good with words lmao but thank you for being you and making this hellsite a better place 🥹 lol.

@leonpob - bestie!!! 🧡 our BL opinions have drifted apart this year lmao but who's to say friendships are solely based on mutual opinions. You're the best, stay the way you are and here's to another year of sharing thoughts and hopefully finding more shows to watch together (no matter if trash or not lol) 😉😘  @mayalunas - ahhhh I loved talking to you sooo so much this year, we agree on so many things that I'm convinced we share the same BL braincells lmao. You're one of my favorite people on this website, thank you for being such a good listener and a positive & supportive person to talk to 🥺 I hope you have the best 2024!!! ily!!! 🧡 @khunvegas - GURL idk where you went this year or if you still exist sdjkds but just know I haven't forgotten about you and I miss our talks 🥺 come back pls thank. @my-wandering-rabbit - I love our random out-of-context talks once a month lmao, I appreciate you and I hope we will continue our ritual of me watching shows and you asking me questions without watching them kjsdhg @bl-recs-and-reviews - Bestie!!! I love our catch-ups on Discord, you were one of the first people I ever talked to like 4 years ago? crazy. look at us. I still love you, you're the sweetest and I love talking to you 🧡🥺 @dreamedofyou - ahh I absolutely love your blog!!! I noticed you a lot in my notifications this year so I wanted to say thank you so much for interacting with my unhinged content (mostly FK related lmao) - We haven't talked a ton but I think of you as a very nice person and I hope we can talk more next year 🥹🫶🏻

and then of course some more shoutouts go out to all the wonderful and talented creators out there; I will never be able to tag all of you so sorry in advance but here are a few that I appreciate, some of which have also mentioned me in their wrap-up posts so thank you for that!!!

@taeminie @seatawinan @loveisactivated @forcebook @jimmysea @guzhu-furen @daymork @itsallaboutbl @seatawinans @blneobin @blmpfff @wanderlust-in-my-soul @pranpat @milkpansa @raypakorn @ahxu-laowen @forcebookish @forcebookcorner @morkofday @chinzillas @seajimmy @dimpledpran @i-got-the-feels @bengiyo @benkaaoi @25shadesoffebruary @moonkhao @smittenskitten @respectthepetty @earthfluuke @pharawee @khaotunq @khaotunqs @pranink @gabrielokun @piningintrovert @zhaozi @markpakin @firstkanaphans @firstforkhao @khaotungsfirst @wen-kexing-apologist @firstkpp @firstmix @bunnakit @khaothanawat @alienwlw @ffirstkhao (I can't tag the last 4 for some reason..)

have the best 2024!!!

🧡🧡🧡

[emptyjunior]

I know that tumblr feels a bit of superiority over tiktok, twitter, instagram and like they Should, holding on to a dash that is directly designed by you and your fellow bloggers gets infinitely more valuable by the day and we should be proud of keeping that (cause it Is something that needs to be fought for constantly!) but can I say I don't like the attitude that everyone else on every other app is dumb and they're all normies and we're the smart ones.

Like there are people who enjoy making video content! And they should have a place where they are safely able to do that. People should be able to discuss topics that are close to them like grief, sex, gender, they should be able to review scary movies and silly horror without any of that being watered down so that the app can still sell itself to advertisers. Musicians should be able to share their music without two distant corporations making deals that silence them and destroy their income. People should be able to share tiktoks criticising their government without a bill passing instantly to silence them

People should be able to use an app that is extremely beneficial to artists and fans without a megalomaniac buying it and finding ways to paywall every feature of a website that was already functional. Minors should be able to comment on the tv show they're watching without the replies being flooded with a robot sending them pornographic images.

People should be able to use the search function on their app without it being a literal AI chatbot?? They should be able to post art they care about and build an audience without it being scraped for parts. You should be able to just find things you're interested in without the person you want to see having to participate in a tier based subscription service to be able to be seen by you.

The users of these apps aren't 'foolish' because they weren't smart enough to try tumblr. It isn't a win every time they take a hit and their app gets marginally worse. It's sad!!! And it isn't right! Yes maybe they would enjoy it if they just abandoned what they're on and came here but they shouldn't have to! We shouldn't want them to! We should never want anyone to cede any space or resources to the hungry bastards that want to take advantage of people's online communities.

Like I'm not asking every tumblr user to get up in arms and fight for influencers on tiktok, you've got your own battles here and they've got theirs there but just reminding people that if you gloat about someone else's website getting suck-ier you are applauding the person doing that to them

[carnivore-voyeur]

Here’s some chat guidelines for Per’s lives based on things he’s shared in all of them:

Per doesn’t refer to himself as Sodomizer. I’ve seen his friends still call him Sodo and he’s responded to Sodo. However, he doesn’t like his Sodomizer tattoo and he has stated that he doesn’t want people to refer to him as Sodomizer. It was done as a joke in reference to a friend’s band. It doesn’t represent him and he would like to get his tattoo covered up.

He’s not going to talk about his involvement in Ghost. He never talks about his involvement in Ghost. If he talks about Ghost at all, it’s in reference to seeing them live (in the past) or being invited to see the movie. Otherwise, he doesn’t talk about Ghost unprompted and he doesn’t talk about his relationship with Tobias Forge.

Some things are for fans/fandom only. He doesn’t need to know about fanfiction. He doesn’t need to know about ships / shipping. It doesn’t matter what he thinks about fictional names for the fictional ghouls in the fictional ministry fans created for Ghost. He’s not a part of that. That’s for fandom use only. Please separate Ghost fiction from reality.

He’s been getting very frustrated over discussions of his height and his hair. He’s not going to let his hair down because he doesn’t like his hair. He’s already answered questions about his height (He’s ~5’8”) multiple times. He doesn’t understand why people are obsessed with his height or his hair. (IMO, it’s okay to love those things about him. He just doesn’t necessarily want to talk about those things.)

Whether we like it or not, he’s not going to talk about political issues at all. He’s not comfortable talking about political issues, and he expressed that he would much rather people who want to make a political change to just do it rather than yell at him about it. He doesn’t condone the “horrible things” happening in the world, but he’s closed off from politics for whatever reason.

Stop asking about his sexuality. He’s said he’s straight multiple times now. He’s not dating his coworkers. Stop asking him what he thinks about LGBTQ+ people. He has repeatedly said he’s supportive of LGBTQ+ people. His opinion is that people should be able to be and do what they want as long as it doesn’t harm anyone else.

Be careful about heavy topics. (e.g. Someone asked him what he thinks of hate crimes.) You don’t know what topics could be uncomfortable or even triggering to someone, and it’s really not a great idea to bring in heavy topics to a livestream when a safe space for them hasn’t been established. That can not only be stressful for him, but for other people in the chat.

Edit:

There are a few fans who try to joke around with him by saying they're his girlfriend or wife or that they're married. Recently, someone told him in the live that they made a Character AI of him that was dating or married to them. This is very very serious parasocial behavior. We cannot normalize it in our fandom spaces. Do not encourage it. Report these accounts when you see them.

.

I’m sharing this not to be overbearing and annoying, but rather because the same things come up in every livestream and some fans are simply not aware of them. A lot of these things revolve around personal boundaries. Just remember that you’re talking to a real person and not the fictional ghoul fans have created for his stage persona in Ghost.

I feel like these are reasonable boundaries for a livestream that we can all respect. I’ve left out other topics that he doesn’t really care about or that he’s already answered because they’re not really harmful. (Yes, it can be irritating to see the same questions over and over but they don’t involve ignoring his boundaries).

Finally, if you’re going to watch his livestreams specifically to go attack him or his girlfriend with insults on Twitter or TikTok or any other form of social media then you need to figure out something else to do with your time. You are way too invested in someone you obviously don’t like. You are making yourself and everyone else miserable.

You don’t have to like him. You can criticize him for something he said or did that upset you. That doesn’t mean it’s acceptable to transgress his boundaries. That doesn’t mean it’s acceptable to make misogynistic comments against his girlfriend. That doesn’t mean it’s acceptable to wish harm on him. That is obsessive, “anti” parasocial behavior. It needs to stop.

[the5thcellar]

I’m sorry, but this is gonna be a rant.

I am so ANGRY and so BITTER that some fans have been wilding so bad. Everyone knew Luke was w Antonia. We’ve known for months. We saw her repeatedly pop up, and play her social media games. We saw her immediately follow people she met through Luke.

Somehow, a photo, of him - at a birthday party, that was dug out through god knows what manner, through some unhinged fan led to multiple breakdowns. And then they bullied, and directed all of their anger towards a fanaccount, and bullied someone off Twitter bc they wanted to be a nic only fanaccount, and had someone else they worked w create a Luke Newton fanaccount.

That’s not even touching on the Jack Murphy shit, which no one seems to want to take responsibility for. He’s a wonderful man and choreographer and I hope he does mime dancing for Polin next season so you never see them touch.

A bunch of fans still remain adamant, somehow, that Polin (and yes, I’m using Polin bc it was the goddamn characters) had a spontaneous wedding dance solo, and they created the cheek caress and chin grab on their own, completely looking away from the fact that the dances are all rehearsed to a ridiculous level.

Leave Jack alone. Leave fans of the individual actors alone (just bc someone only likes one of the leads does NOT mean they’re shitting on the other or they actively are spreading hate). Leave the private lives of the actors, their loved ones, and colleagues alone.

I mean...yes to most of this. Lots of fans have no shame and no decorum. I really chalk it up to them all being immature under 21s or like below 25s because there ain't no way grown adults are going around acting like that.

I know kids with better boundaries.

If they continue the way they do they're all going to turn into clubchalamet eventually lol.

It's so fucking embarrassing and it's really because all these people perceive themselves to be safe from reproach behind screens. Also because they can't seem to grasp the idea that fandom spaces are for .... fans. As in ... fans .... ONLY.

What's with the impulse to comment directly on the accounts of people who work on the show ... not only are they scaring these people away from giving us content, they're making things super fucking weird.

Imagine if Lukola fans had the same rep as Larries. I'd throw myself off a cliff.

The thing I don't exactly agree with is "leave the private lives of these people alone" - yeah for sure, but with certain caveats. Leave them alone as in don't bother them or DM them or harass them - but I think all celebs and those closely associated with them need to recognise that their image and personal lives are very much in the public domain. Which means it's very much expected that people will pry and probe and comment.

So I'd never expect fans to stop digging up random photos etc. I mean. It was left on the internet. Why would anyone think no one's ever gonna see it 😂

[thatfilthyanimal]

tw: stalking, grooming, pedophilia, sexual abuse, past suicidal thoughts

I've recently been made aware that Dupsy is still talking about me and is now going to random Megamind fans that don't know me and telling them to avoid me. I'm also aware that they're doing this in the Ruby Gillman fandom. I have no words to really describe the level of discomfort this brings me, but I will attempt.

First of all, all the "grooming" allegations were thoroughly debunked and proven to be bullshit. I can't believe I have to even say this. I'm a victim of grooming and sexual abuse myself. It's extremely traumatic and life-altering shit, and never something I would want to inflict on someone else. I feel like it should be obvious, with the measures I took in the server to ensure no child is exposed to such things. I was recently diagnosed with PTSD due to the shit that happened to me when I was growing up, and between processing that in therapy sessions and stomaching transitioning in a near-constant hostile-to-trans-people online social media hellscape, I am tired.

I love Megamind, more than anything, and this is known and obvious to anyone who's met me. This movie saved my life when I was extremely suicidal and planning to end my life back in 2010. Watching the movie when I did gave me something to focus on, a distraction, and a responsibility as a fandom member that helped distract me long enough to get out of the planning mindset I was in. Had I not seen the movie, I do not think I would have stuck around. I will leave it at that.

And moderating fandom spaces for Megamind has been lovely! I adore this fandom. The people in it are extremely talented and sweet, and just so damn nice, like by default. I say this all the time but I've never experienced another fandom space quite like it. There are usually bad eggs in fandoms, and perhaps -I- am said "bad egg" to some, but genuinely this one is special. I have always felt that way, even when the bad eggs show up and make a stink. It has always felt worth being here for, to me.

And while I hate to give Dupsy the satisfaction of knowing they hurt me, I need to be honest-- it's been rough. I stopped talking in my server, I locked up on most of my friends and stopped talking even in DMs. I still struggle with severe anxiety in the server and have talked to Dal on various occasions about transferring the server ownership to him. He's been very patient with my freakouts and super understanding, but it's still hard. This WAS a place I felt safe, for over ten years! And now it feels like any minor can just say I'm a groomer or a pedo or whatever with ZERO consequences, just because they're mad, just because these are words that make people go "oh shit" and listen, and man! It's not ok! And this coupled with the fact that trans people are often called groomers just for existing, just… man! I'm tired. I'm so tired.

There are real, severe, damaging effects to these claims being thrown around so casually. It's hurtful to me, as a victim of sexual abuse, because when I came forward to people about what happened when -I- was a minor, I was told I "wanted it" and "asked for it". It was made to be my fault that I was abused, and I internalized it for years. It nearly killed me. I cannot stress enough how important it is to not use claims like pedophilia and grooming so lightly-- these are VERY damning terms to use on people and should be reserved for people ACTUALLY HARMING OTHERS. Being mad I banned you from the server is not "abuse" and using my Customer Service Voice to be nice to you and then being obviously tired of you when you were banned is not "emotional grooming". What the actual fuck. ALSO. This was well over a year ago! Why am I still having to post about this? Why are you still TALKING about me? And yet again I ask, where the HELL are your parents?

Anyway, if you've been wondering why I've been so quiet these days and struggling to socialize… honestly? It's this. I hate that this is what did it. I know people trust and believe me, I know the fandom backs me up regularly and I appreciate them all so much for it. I see it, but I never know how to respond. You guys continue to make this fandom feel safe for me even when my entire brain is screaming to run, and I appreciate you so much for it.

Kids deserve to be trusted when they tell people they've been hurt and I hate that the recent proshipping discourse or whatever you want to call it, this culty all-or-nothing shit, has a bunch of minors growing up feeling like EVERYTHING is something to call rapey or predatory, with apparently little room to distinguish when REAL abuse is happening to them. I don't blame anyone for believing Dupsy, and it's honestly better they DO believe all unproven claims of abuse by default, just to stay safe-- but man, it has consequences that follow people, and really should not be a thing to just throw around because you're mad at someone. I just can't believe they're STILL going around and reaching out to strangers telling them to avoid me… like, what the fuck.

I will be ok, I always am eventually, but I needed to say something, because it's honestly been a while since I've said much of anything.

Keep being kind. <3

[that-spider-fan-over-there]

So I've read Chapter 427: "Who Was Shigaraki Tomura?"

Or as I am calling it in my head: *lights up candle* ... Is it a safe space to be a BNHA Hero and Villain fan yet? 

Okay, this is gonna be a long one- Prefacing this:

I love Izuku. I really really do. And I also wanted Spinner to lash out at him. This was even more than I could've asked for- I'd have been 100% on board with Spinner's vengeful widow arc if he wanted. Jokes aside, I liked. 2/3 of the chapter, would've been fine without the Overhaul stuff. I'm switching typing "Tenko | Tomura", probably, so please bear with me.

Spinner's been called a hypocrite for calling Izuku a murderer. I don't think Izuku is one; he wanted to save Tenko, broke his mental barriers to reach out when he gave away OFA, not to destroy his body. I don't think he knew the end result until Tomura!AFO was really breaking down. He failed, and he’s drowning in guilt (eyebags, repression, war veteran look, letting Spinner take it out on him).

In Spinner's defense: he's faced discrimination from society. His first friends were the LoV. Outcasts like him, no one would've been surprised if Spinner killed someone, sad as it is. Stain spared Izuku as a worthy hero, yet he fought Tomura, and no corpse was left. The flawed logic of Ch. 19: Heroes and Villains commit violence, but a hero was seen killing a person, and is praised for it. Who cares "Midoriya Izuku killed a person"? Hero Deku defeated a villain. Of course he'll be a "hypocrite" and say that.

Late add-on: It can feel worse because even Spinner fell into the bystander mentality; even he knew he could've helped Tomura before the final battle but didn't, and is dwelling on "what if a hero rescued him then?" Izuku technically is the only person to extend a hand, even if the results were. Well. Izuku tried and still was not enough. It's a gut punch on both.

Izuku saying he won't deny the murder comment, though? Cheers, I want him to have a mental breakdown. (I mean, he didn't have to talk to Spinner personally. I think it's both him wanting to honor Tenko and being driven by guilt).

People calling Tomura a monster is justified, even if it sucks. Tenko never had a choice in believing he was anything other than that and It's 100% AFO's fault. But in the end, Tomura still made the kill, unfair as it is. Not humanizing him, however, is a mistake; he should be humanized. Anyone could've ended up the way he did. Spinner is just on the extreme of sympathizing way too much to acknowledge how much suffering he brought. Society isn't better, they've regressed into Pre-AM paranoia. 

Pikahlua (here and here) and Kikibats (Twitter, here) said Ch. 322 scene was paralleled, and I'm kinda relieved— I thought I was brainrotting the parallels. So I'm just repeating them rn:

Scarred right side, the "regretful murderer" facing a grieving Spinner vs. the intact left side, the "child soldier young hero" bearing too much, listening as an apology for Spinner? From stranger danger to a connection no one else has. And then they stop facing each other when Spinner breaks down from how much Tomura meant to him as his first friend, hero and hope, something Izuku only saw a glimpse of!? (likely foreshadowing Izuku's own emotions yet to burst) Damn that was good. (I hate the scar but that was a good use I gotta admit)

(Parallels of fanboys with identity issues following someone like them, seeing them as their heroes, and when they died, lost control of themselves and their Quirks and now they're lost as to what to do next?! Being a Spinneraki shipper paid off in a way I didn't expect but should've.)

(Also every duo that has "My Hero/Hope/Light" is romantically canon I do not make the rules take it up with Horikoshi- /j)

Izuku's repressing for taking Spinner's grief and letting him manhandle him (really, just Spinner doing the equivalent of grabbing him by the collar and breaking down, but angst's angst). Taking a step further: Ch. 118, Someone wanted to fight and be punished for something that wasn't on them, after weeks of hiding their guilt. Time for Someone to be there 'cause Izuku ain't handling it alone. And I miss emotional Izuku I want him back, but His Trauma Also Has Hands.

Spinner writing a book to spread Tomura's gospel and Izuku suggesting to make it a comic makes sense; Quirk Singularity/Meta Liberation book (as he narrated the My Villain Academia Arc) vs. the OFA/AFO conflict that started through comics Toshinori, Yoichi and AFO read as kids. Those books were taken as bull or rewritten to fit the times/ideals, and only a select few read it. Comics would play into the reality-fantasy themes and reach the younger generation. Past doesn't die but if you don't let it haunt you it can be a lesson to take for the future. How would that be executed depends on how much Tenko is romanticized or sympathized with.

Izuku says he won't forget the LoV (and let's be honest, neither will Shoto, Ochako and Katsuki. And Iida, with luck) feels a little empty for now, so I'm betting on hindsight to see what he will do with this knowledge. After all, Izuku is (supposedly) the symbol of hope and the reality check everyone needs. It's still there, tangled in that trauma, the silly hero fanboy who's way too selfless, reckless and willing to fight for what he loves at the cost of himself. He just gotta let it sink; he doesn't have to hide and do it alone.

Waiting for Izuku to prove everyone wrong is just common sense :3

And the "Joki Joki" guy is being set-up to be either Tenko (ideal scenario) or someone who'll stand in as him (not-so-ideal in my opinion), and will definitely face the shunning from the civilians. They want to return to their fantasy, but consequences exist for a reason.

I'm convinced this is the beginning it was being referred to in 403: An era of reform for the world of BNHA. And it's part of the reason I am sold on the idea of a sequel; if that's the end of it, then that's a hell of a lead for a bittersweet/bleak ending for a story all about hope and bright futures. What does it mean to be a hero in a world that doesn't trust them anymore? Well, why not explore that?

Okay, with that out of the way. Overhaul. I don't care for him, so: he's pathetic, cry harder and maybe I'll feel bad, Izuku may hate him but still. Too kind to save him. His boss woke up to put him in his place (as if growing up in mafia didn't mess him up too. Joy /s.), too little too late, I hope Aizawa has official custody of Eri, otherwise she's gonna have to go back (adoption in Japan is only for 6yo and under so they can absorb them into their family. Eri is 7 so I hope she's staying with Aizawa). I'm sorry but. No.

After that, not many thoughts, but I see possible foreshadowing of Hawks bringing in more heroes, maybe a rehab for both villains and heroes? I hope so. (Izuku asked if he had that much power. I say: He should have. As a treat. :3333)

And as for the last page: Weird that it wasn't a Himichako cliffhanger but I guess it's because they'll be the last plot point of 428 and it'll lead up to "Joki Joki". I'm also expecting Hawks to be there, because of Twice.

And 2-A will be good role models, teaching 1st years blind worship is not good but that aside. Those fangirls better pack it up Shoto doesn't care (glad the family stuff didn't affect his school popularity) and if Katsuki isn't enjoying the attention then we got confirmation he swings for the other team- /hj

And with that, I finish this by saying: Fuck everyone who ignored Tenko, especially that hag who didn't help Tenko and led him to a hero or the police. She just had to drop him off with someone. It wasn't like he was gonna kill her back then as a traumatized 6yo fearing his own hands.

Thank you for reading!

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Monday everyone :) Another amazing intense look in this one. Continuing the longing pattern. Their pining era was primo af I have to say. Mostly about Rosalind and Bailey in this one but we get some goodies in between there. Super short one but off we go.

5x04 The Choice

We start off with Bailey being trapped in Rosalind’s homemade trap. She FaceTimes John so they can see what they're dealing with inside. Just love her being as close to Tim as possible. Seriously be closer you two I dare you. I love how Lucy makes sure to come right next to Tim. That magnetic pull never fails. Mainly why I wanted to show this moment. To just to display personal space isn't even a thing even when they're on weird ground. They legit can't help themselves and don't even know they're doing it.

They all meet in a shop to discuss things privately. Worried the entire house is bugged. Lucy comes in after they have their convo. You can see she is buzzing with nerves. Trying to keep herself in check. I love how Tim’s eyes keep flicking back to check on her. It’s subconscious and I love it so much. He wants to comfort her but they’re in a tricky place. So he just checks on her the best he can from where he’s seated. Lucy stays back with Tim to stay with Bailey. Doesn’t want her to be alone at all during this. She’s the best. You wonder why Tim is in love with her. Things like this.

Nolan has been taken away by Rosalind at this point. She called him and said she would kill Bailey if he didn’t trade himself for her. Brings us to her floating in the tank asking for John. Lucy doesn’t know what to say so she looks to her person help her. Basically tagging Tim in with just a look. Their silent communication never ceases to amaze me. Tim steps in a comforts Bailey for Lucy and I love it.

He does this on Lucy's behalf. Look at him he would've struggled with this just a couple years ago. Now look at him. He's tagging in for his girl. Who reawakened all this in him in the first place. Always has her back no matter what. Makes my heart happy. Even when they’re in their “moving on” pining phase. Just little things like this make me so happy. Giving us good crumbs in eps with low content for them.

Bailey is doing dunk tests to see how long she can hold her breath. Lucy is barely keeping it together for her. She keeps looking to Tim for comfort and strength. I love it sfm. Her natural instinct is to reach out to him. Despite the weird place they’re in he’s her rock. Their looks say so much above. Just look at them. Checking in on each other with just their looks. Their chemistry is unreal. So much love in those looks too. Also a lot being said in them. Their chemistry never ceases to amaze me.

They finally get the floorboard open to get to the tank below. Tim calls Lucy over for no reason other than he wants to be with her. Anyone could’ve held his belt but he wanted his girl with him before he went down. Also to let her know she could follow him afterwards if it’s safe. No one else he wants having his six. Lucy tries to offer to go but no way in hell he was going to allow that.

Protective Tim is present and accounted for. I love her look when he tells her no. She does a little whine of disagreement. Lucy looks sick with worry. She doesn’t want him going down there either. Especially without her. It’s killing her to not have his back for this. That’s her natural default. He would rather sacrifice himself before letting her get hurt. *heart clutch* Best part of the episode right here.

She clutches his duty belt in worry as he descends into that hole. I love how he doesn’t take his eyes off her until the very last second. Could be the last time he sees her face depending on what’s down there. Makes sure to make most of it as he is lowered down. Tim is determined she is the last thing he sees before he faces whatever is below. What a damn romantic. His body was being lowered possibly into a explosive trap and he refused to break his gaze with her. *fans self* That man loves you Lucy Chen. That intense looks could set this house on fire my god.

The way she watches him descend. My damn heart. The hitch in her breath when he falls out of sight. Weird place or not her whole world just disappeared under that floorboard. Into god knows what and all she can do is stand there waiting. He said she should could follow if it was clear. She is antsy to follow him. To hear him give the all clear. Also had there been traps they would've had to drag her away from that hole. Because she would’ve jumped head long in to get him. Such a good moment for them. That look is seared into my shipper brain.

They end up saving Bailey with some impressive timing. Well Lucy does when Bailey's surfaced. We get to watch her be a bad ass and do CPR on her. Which is amazing to watch her perform. John ends up not killing Rosalind to save her. Which good thing the team did cause she would’ve died otherwise. Rosalind gets killed by her partner instead as John tries to get her booked. They're walking outside and she is clipped by a bullet before he can finish calling it in.

They roll up and see Rosalind’s dead body. Lucy is in shock she’s dead. Tim does the best he can do in the moment for her. Telling her she only seemed larger than life. Melissa crushing this scene with her expression. In disbelief she’s actually dead. This woman who has haunted her nightmares for so long. Given her so much PTSD is finally gone. Lucy starts to analyze why she did this. Tim won't let her go down that rabbit hole. She's taken up enough of Lucy's mental space by now.

Tim wants her to refocus. Saying that doesn't matter now. She is gone and he doesn't want her to dwell on it. She can truly start to close that chapter of her life now. It is surreal she is gone I know I felt that way too. Bless Annie for finishing off this SL even while she was sick. A true BAMF. LOVED her in Castle and Loved her in this as well. Hell of a villain.

~~~

Side notes-Non chenford

None really in this one.

Thank you forever and always to you who read, like, comment and reblog these you are all amazing :) See you in 5x05.

[taylorswiftstylequestions]

Hi, I'm hoping this is a safe space for these thoughts because I feel if the #criticiallykind TSSers won't listen, nobody will. Pretty much, this isn't groundbreaking by any means, but I've begun to feel really… skeptical of how much I can love Taylor. Don't get me wrong, I have been a Swiftie for years. I own merch, CDs, know all the songs, everything. Taylor's music has helped me through so much and her songwriting remains unmatched in my mind. But I'm just beginning to question how much I can be a "fan" of her as a person. I'm questioning things like can why she charges astronomical prices for merch when she is literally a billionaire who could pay for herself and everyone she cares about to retire. I am questioning things like how she can watch her fans send literal death wishes to her exes and ex-friends and not try to intervene. I am questioning things like how she made a really big deal (rightfully so) about speaking her mind re: politics, but then has kept quiet on a whole host of recent political issues that her voice (and pocketbook) would make a large impact towards. I am not coming from a place of "she's a celebrity she has a responsibility to do things about these issues" but more from a place of "these are traits I would not appreciate in anyone I know personally, so why don't I think of Taylor in this critical lens?" I'm curious to know if you or anyone else has thoughts on this at all. As always, thanks Sarah for hosting a safe space for all of us.

Hi friend! I'm going to do my best to match your sincerity in this. I do want to believe and feel your internal struggle here on this topic and I don't want to diminish how it really can feel like a battle of minds and emotions. How do you come to terms with someone you care for disappointing you? How do you then layer that disappointment onto the sort of silly knowledge that that disappointment is aimed at someone not actively present in our immediate social circles as a real 'friend' (but who very often fills that emotionally comforting role that a friend often occupies with their art presence in your life - and that is worth noting + valuing!).

I think at its core, my advice to you is to question: Do you actually feel you need to love Taylor in order to love her music?

Do you need to measure Taylor's perceived actions and traits to the same extent and manner that you do of someone who you know personally? Do your feelings about those perceived demerits impact your ability to positively interact with her art?

I want to note that there aren't wrong answers to these questions. The only person who needs to answer them is yourself - and only you know the truth of what those answers might mean. I propose them to you as a starting point as you reassess your relationship with her and her music and what it all means to you. Again - no wrong answers and no judgement. They're questions that require introspection and honesty from yourself. You answer to you and you deserve your own, unvarnished truth.

With all of that, in my response I mostly wanted to center your confusion and the tough emotional uncertainty you might be facing. I didn't want to address through your concerns like a bulleted list of counter-arguments. Ultimately, this is about your relationship with those issues that matter to you and where you land on them. That said, if you feel like you might benefit or be interested from my talking through my stance on those things to perhaps offer alternative opinions that might explore a different side that might disagree with you I can also do so as a follow up. Just let me know!

I truly wish you the best friend. I know it probably has felt overwhelming and confusing to be dealing with this mentally. And then perhaps even scary to admit it and seek advice!

[kewltie]

it would be hysterical, izuku, no.1 hero, secretly writing dynadeku as a stress reliever and theres no deeper meaning to it. really. then in one of the dynamight's super interviews, some asshole asked him to read out izuku's bkdk locker room porn and izuku watches on in horror. i like the idea of izuku exploring his sexuality and kink through the intimacy of writing erotica of your childhood friend... lol. like he's way too busy to find partner for sex but he doesnt want meaningless sex either so imagining fictional sexy and kinky scenarios seems safer.

the fact it's katsuki is bc he reason that he's familiar w him but they arent emotionally close enough like ochako or tenya that he feels awkward about it when they sometimes meet up; close but distance, katsuki feels safe for izuku to imagine how his partner touch & tease him. izuku writes the erotica FOR HIMSELF, it's always a thing for him to relieve stress and explore his kinks and intimacy; it wasnt ever meant to be grown so large that he actually has fans and ppl who look forward to him posting his work. and now KATSUKI READ HIS FIC ON LIVE TV!!!

izuku's fics got so popular in the heroes fandom bc they're hilariously accurate, true to character the fans think excited. IT'S LIKE THE WRITER know deku and dynamight personally like how they got the description of the physical appearance and even the way they talk to each other. fans love izuku's writing bc his fics feel real and how the fictional deku and dynamight acts like they're almost alive. izuku is just writing about himself and his childhood friend LOL so ofc it feels real. izuku thought it was fine bc his erotica would be kept within the fandom. but he underestimated how fucking popular his fics are that it get spread around and even beyond fandom. outside of fandom, the fics become a point of mocking derision, ppl assuming it's from the delusion some rapid teen girl and dismissed it as dirty, sloppy porn to make fun of.

so when dynamight did one of his super rare interviews on live tv, the host thought it would be hilarious and rake in huge fucking ratings if they can get dynamight to read out one of izuku's secret erotica fics. it's be funny, hahaha right? katsuki was not fucking thrill at all. he doesnt like to be use as tool for anyone else's own mean especially when he's not in the fucking joke at all bc he's PART OF THE JOKE. katsuki was going to rip off the pages as soon as he was handed a printout copy of the dynadeku's erotica but then he sees the text and stops.

katsuki knows shit about fandom shenanigans, but he read the first lines of the text and it feels familiar. he continues to read the way the writer describes him and the way the writer knows him so WELL, like katsuki knows shits but fuck doe he knows izuku and thats his words.

idk know what happened next but katsuki definitely confronted izuku about him WRITING PORN ABOUT THEM. maybe it ends up opening a discussion about izuku wanting intimacy and exploring it in a safe space and katsuki insisting he can be a safe space and PERSON for him.

[sophieinwonderland]

Obviously it is awful whenever anti-endos harass or hate on anyone, but there's a morbid part of me that's always pleased when it happens. Because wow, anti-endos are really digging their own grave, aren't they? Like, sure, we could talk about research and scientific consensus and cultural practices and religion and everything else – but none of that really holds a candle to just... their regular hateful bullshit.

Anti-endos like to act as though they'll one day be known as the champions of rights for disordered systems, and thus that gives them the right to do whatever they want in their "quest to defeat ableism". But they're really just shooting themselves in the foot and it's a DELIGHT to see! My heart goes out to everyone they've ever hurt, but at the same time, I invite everyone who's ever been hurt by an anti-endo to laugh at how they're slowly building up a reputation that's going to bite them in the ass sooner or later.

Harassment campaigns in plural tags. Wishing death on others for existing. Sending suicide bait and violent threats in response to positivity posts. Chasing popular animators off social media for being pro-endo. Fakeclaiming not just endogenic systems, but any traumagenic system that disagrees with them (or, as I once saw, ever previously identified as endogenic). And I recently learned that they've been harassing system mods and owners to the point of having to close the server EVEN WHEN THE SERVER ITSELF WASN'T SYSTEM FOCUSED, IT WAS JUST ENDO FRIENDLY OR NEUTRAL AT WORST. And let's not forget the recent development of calling endogenic systems "groomers", nor all the miscellaneous awful things Aspen did with full support from her little hate crusaders.

At this point, the scientific evidence for endogenic systems is more like the cherry on top. Anti-endos can spread their hate all they want – a well-timed question of "wait, you agree with the group that (just one of the many awful things they've done)?" is going to tear that down. And as this reputation spreads, more and more will reject anti-endo narratives before they even meet one themselves.

"Syscourse? Oh, yeah, there's a small group of people in system spaces that think if you ever disagree with them or use a label they don't like, then you're automatically faking a dissociative disorder for internet clout or to make fun of them personally. Yeah it's such a weird leap of logic isn't it?? They're really vicious about it too, did you hear that they once rallied behind a homophobic TikToker who was using slurs and making fun of disabled people? I don't know why they think they're fighting ableism when they act like that... It's honestly pretty concerning..." ← the soon to be average discussion of syscourse from those uninvolved in it, if I had to guess

The bright side of not having to do anything for people to hate you is that you don't have to do anything for people to make fools of themselves while trying to make you feel bad. They just do that to themselves.

Anti-endos really are just out here digging their own graves.

As nice as these incidents are in turning people against them though, it does suck seeing the harassment leveled against anyone who doesn't support them.

But on the whole Yaelokre server incident, can I say that I'm also pretty disappointed in the mods. IMO, this was a time to take a stand, ban the bigots, and protect the innocent systems in the server, not to pack up and run.

Yes, the bigots and harassers are horrible. It's terrible to be put in a position where bigots are demanding you ban innocent people for existing. But the correct response to that situation is standing for what's right, not running and hiding like cowards, destroying the space you built in the process.

If their principles were making a safe space for all Yaelokre fans, they failed. They backed down, and let the bigots win. Maybe it didn't give the bigots exactly what they wanted by banning endogenic systems. But they did still succeed in destroying a safe space for everyone.

The mods let hate win. They let bigotry win.

I hope the lesson others take away from this is seeing how many people got hurt by surrendering like this, and realizing that you can't back down to bullies.

[archivalofsins]

I feel like there are some who need a reminder that Milgram isn't responsible for how they respond to it.

For example, if someone is direct messaging, spam reporting, block evading, creating entire superstitions, parroting nationalistic talking points, parroting racist talking points, and over all treating fictitious characters like they matter more than real people then they should have been reflecting on themselves long before Milgram started and I hope they do some day. Honestly, I really don't want people to forget how many within this community have chosen to behave over a show. Maybe it's petty, and it's definitely due to how I've personally been directly impacted by this behavior.

Yet, I think people believe they get an "I can treat others however I want" card because that's, "How milgram is it was made to be divisive if people can't handle that don't talk about it or block lol", "I don't have to respect anyone it's not that serious", "Others just need to think about my feelings and how the way they talk about these topics make me feel. It's others' fault for making the little amount of "real fans" of the series look even worse by talking about bad things the characters may have done."

I don't know how to explain to people that's not how anything works anymore, and I actively hope the people who have behaved this way and negatively impacted others feel ashamed of their actions. Honestly, the shit I know that some of the people here have for sure done is absolutely disgusting. Either way, it's good to have a myriad of examples about how not to act in fandom. Even though the easiest way to avoid being a total piece of shit is to remember that this space is shared with other people who have feelings too and being considerate of that fact.

Because no media is responsible for how a person chooses to act in real life even if they are reacting to it. Believing that is as good as saying it's the books fault it was banned.

I react the way I do to Milgram because I like it and want to talk about it. I talk about the things I do because I care about Milgram, and I care about the things I've talked about it through it. The series isn't holding a gun to my head, forcing me to. To me, this is not a fight against anyone else's opinions. I'm not talking about things in order to defend myself when I'm discussing Milgram.

It is completely different when I talk about the real-life actions of others within this fandom that have negatively impacted me. Those people aren't Milgram, regardless of how much they act like they're in the series themselves.

Let's be serious for a moment. Individuals who act in these ways and fandoms that behave this way are not the media itself. This is why a lot of people have learned to separate a piece of media from its fandom. This isn't the medias fault. It's just a portion of the audience who are a bit too immature to handle the material in a way that is not harmful to others or themselves. It's up to the individual to reexamine how they engage with media and whether it's healthy or not.

"Well, if you really think about it, this is how this is all Milgram's fault."

No one can do that for them, but we can all recognize that treating others poorly is a rancid way to respond to fiction, and there's a sort of entitlement to believing it's not. Right out the gate, Jackalope said he and by proxy Milgram aren't responsible for anything that happens and people are still going,

Like legitimately I had to mediate a falling out in the kagepro fandom in like 2014 due to a couple breaking up and one of the people in said relationship deciding to harrass the other online. The person doing the harrassment legit told me,

It's no surprise that the people who treat others like this under the guise of anonymity or behind the scenes while going around presenting themselves publicly as safe spaces for pocs, lgbtqia, neurodivergent and other basic stuff- Acting all nice, sending people birthday wishes, and going it's all in good fun while simultaneously sending very purposeful and targeted harassment to people for talking about a piece of fiction have issues taking accountability for themselves. Everything they do and how they do it is to avoid having to take accountability ever. At least, that's what seeing others behave that way has led me to believe.

Not even here but in other fandoms as well. I recognized early on that a lot of people don't even view other individuals online as real. They can easily say things like, "I'm not your friend, family, I don't know you, and you don't know me. So, I don't have to care about your feelings."

"Well, you know how it is. It was just an online relationship it wasn't meant to be anything serious even if I said we were dating. It was just something to kill time, really. Isn't it weird that they took it so seriously lol creepy."

I at nineteen knew this was a fucked up way to treat someone else's feelings. I knew it was even worse to then consistently portray this other person as stalking them online to their hundred of followers even though that wasn't true. I also knew my friend didn't want to be involved with this any longer. That it was just getting them more harrassment and each time they would get comfortable online again like clockwork here came bozo the clown with another tumblr post about how they're so uncomfy with their crazy stalker having internet access at all actually or just continuing to use their blog instead of moving to a new one. Or making/assisting with the creations of animatics. I'm very aware of how people like this who announce themselves as safe spaces that care about everyone and never want to hurt anybody really are behind closed doors. One has to either be naive or a special sort of manipulative to feel the need to announce that they are, in fact, a special sort of decent or good human being that all marginalized groups are safe around.

The only thing seeing people behave like this has taught me is that legitimately, there's always going to be bad actors like that. It's annoying, but to an extent, I'm also very happy that I've managed to create an atmosphere where people like that will escort themselves far away from me. Because being in it is worse than being outside of it by miles.

People like this tend to forget that actions speak louder than words. Some truly believe that just putting that in a bio is help enough, and regardless of how they treat real people at the end of the day, they're still doing their part. All because they said they are. I'm aware of this sort of thinking because my first fandom experiences online was a fucking kagepro rp one. I got to see people argue over how rping ocs was lesser than rping canon characters and dogpile on one user because they mistakenly dated the most toxic person on earth at the time.

The people causing these issues at the time, just like now, were all early college age. The person they were dogpiling on for this shit and the people they were having mediate high schoolers. The only other adult there was me, which is why I was asked to mediate later because me and this person were the same age. So, this is not my first fandom bullshit show.

[card-queen]

Writer Interview game

Tagged by @dithorba over here!

When did you start writing? - I can't really remember a time when I wasn't reading, writing or drawing. I remember a bit step for me was writing out the introduction for my Inazuma Eleven fan team. I had fun putting together the team's origin and making sure everyone got a spot. But I as for writing in earnest and wanting to/believing I could make something of it, that was only in the last few years after lots and lots of reading & studying.

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write? - I love spy fiction and horror that plays mind games. I like stories about messed up people that figure things out in the end. Most of all, I think, I like the heroes that persevere through it all and despite everything, the best part of them is still in tact.

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often? - I don't think so. I don't think anyone compares my writing or style to anyone else and I don't want to be like anyone else. I really just want to be me the whole way through.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space? - Noise-cancelling headphones and access to my playlists of hand-picked tracked, mainly from video games, that put me in the zone to write that kind of scene. I've got folders for scenes of wonder, anguish, tension, action, battles, etc. It helps me be in the moment and they're usually from games that captured that moment so well, so it helps!

What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse? - Reading/watching bad things. Even video essays on things I don't like. Something about being really annoyed when you're reading something that goes off a cliff or seeing the faults of a project being laid out really gets my mind going. The worst feeling something can give me is apathy.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you? - Let's see... I kinda noticed a pattern of messed up siblings who are vehemently opposed but totally in-sync, to the confusion of everyone else. There is often a theme of twisted love, where it skews into obsession, overprotection or other stuff that is no longer love. Different (plausible) perspectives to events that shape peoples' views. It's all a bit vague but I'm sure some big-brain out there could spot a whole bunch of thematic similarities in what I do!

What is your reason for writing? - Because no one else is doing what I want to see!!! I want MY brand of fantasy, MY style of mystery and I'm not getting it anywhere else so I might as well!

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer? - My reliance on analysis. That sounds weird but hear me out! I am not smart, not by a long shot and I am not an analytical person at all!

BUT... I have learned to take things apart and understand the inner workings of them. A character who experiences X would behave in Y way and so to get more oomph out of their scenes, we sprinkle in some Z or pair them up with A. Because I break things down to such a ridiculous degree, I can better write their dialogue, understand motivations, plot out twists and schemes, and time it all just right!

I am also... terminally obsessed with making timelines for my events. Be it year-by-year or hour-by-hour. I will NOT be caught unawares by time paradoxes!!!

How do you feel about your own writing? - Some days, I feel good and some days I feel bad. Whenever I feel bad, I end up reading what I've written and then I feel good again! I cater to my own wants as a reader, which makes me doubt if there's widespread appeal at times but... I'm not making it with widespread appeal in mind. That kind of thinking makes paint-by-numbers, safe, approved by committee stuff that I don't care for. I'm carving my own path that does interest me, and maybe it interests some others too. By make no mistake: I like my writing because I am my own #1 fan.

Time to find some victims... Tagging @noisette-tornade, @vellatra, @reneethegreatandpowerful, @albicantknight, @merwetketet aaand anyone else that sees this and writes. Honestly, if you see this and don't join in, I will hunt you for sport. Be brave!