#This au has no further context btw

[tragicotps]

Modern Masriel AU in which Marisa regrets giving up her child 12 years prior and not raising her with Asriel.

[aha-my-villainous-thoughts]

I'm never giving my OFMD red carpet co-captain modern AU up, I refuse.

Context? Sure.

I have a habit of letting my one shots turn into just endless spin off ideas... that then create further ideas... and then that just continues... forever. No peace, no surrender, only gay fanart.

🌟🎵🎶 why am I like this? 🎶🎵🌟

(Btw Ed keeps reapplying lippy inbetween landing smooches on his beau at the afterparty, Stede has no idea how much incriminating glitter he's picked up until he nips to the gents 💋)

[violetjedisylveon]

The Samadhi Flower

Spicynoodles Tangled AU chapter 1

Summary: The Samadhi Flower is the last chance to save Queen Iron Fan's life, and her husband will do whatever he can to save her.

Word count: 2.9k

Warnings: Near death experience, sickness, curses, child birth, c-section, forced pregnancy and LBD is really creepy at the end. Those last two go together.

A/N: You need context for this, here's the AU Masterpost it has the context. These first two-ish chapters are before the kidnapping btw.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Once, long, long ago, the Queen of the Heavens descended to the mortal realm and planted a singular seed.

This small seed held a fraction of the Queen's power, an infinitesimal amount for a goddess to give up, but nearly unimaginable to the vast majority of mortal beings.

From that seed, the goddess’s gift to the world below, grew a magic fire flower. The Samadhi Flower 

It had the ability to heal the sick and injured, cure even the most devastating curses, chase away dark forces from the possessed, and even save one from the brink of death itself if used properly.

And it was powerful, just being near the flower’s influence would heal one of any ailments.

Though much like its creator, the flower had a darker side. Its creator was a goddess of destruction after all.

The Samadhi Flower created the most powerful flames ever seen in all the realms. Its heat scorched the land around it, turning it into an inhospitable barren waste that few would dare venture far into, the flower's healing powers could be felt from the edge of the burned lands.

The Queen had instructed the flower to protect itself from those who might use its power for their own selfish desires, so it harnessed the destructive powers to do as it was told.

To further protect the flower she had graciously gifted the world, the Queen decreed that only one of her divine blood could truly control the power of the flower, and that the flower could only be picked by one willing to risk the fury of the Queen of Heaven to save another they cared for more than themself.

When the Queen thought her gift was safe from greed and power hungry mortals, she left it to the mortal realm to be used as she intended.

And there it was.

The Samadhi Flower.

Sitting in the center of a burnt, barren land, the symbol of its power scorched into the ground it grew from.

The fabled gift from the Queen Mother Of The West herself.

The last chance he had to save the love of his life.

“Brother, are you sure about this? The legends say the Samadhi Flower will burn any who dare attempt to pick it.” His ears flicked in acknowledgement of his sworn brother’s warning.

DBK silenced the dragon prince with a glare. His other brother was not so easily silenced.

“We still have time to figure something else out, we don't need to resort to this.” The golden furred monkey said with a gesture towards the flower.

“No, if we delay any longer, Iron Fan will die.” He grunted.

“And if you try to pick that flower, you will die. Even if you somehow manage to get the stupid weed out of the ground, she could still die from the damned thing burning her, or from giving birth, and that leaves the kid an orphan!” The monkey king argued.

“If it comes to that, I trust you and Mihou will fulfill your duty as our child's godparents.” DBK said.

The monkey stared up at him with a fiery rage in his eyes.

“Then let me try, I'm a lot more-”

“No. The Samadhi Flower is very selective about who it will allow to pick it.” He cut his brother off.

“Besides, I doubt the Queen Mother would appreciate you picking her flower, Wukong.” He added in a late attempt to lighten the mood.

The monkey’s tail lashed around angrily and he clenched his fists in frustration. Instead of hitting him, Wukong merely stomped the ground, hard enough to leave an indent.

“I fuckin hate you.” He growled with crossed arms.

He nodded to his brothers and turned to the Samadhi Flower, glowing with an immortal fire. He approached the flower and before his brothers could interfere or try a last minute attempt to stop him, he thrust his hands into the ground and grabbed onto the flower’s roots.

The ground itself burned.

His thick fur caught fire and the heat blast filled his eyes with tears.

Squinting through his tears, he could see his mate's image in the dancing flames. She was alive and healthy. That was the only thing he wanted, being without her was worse than any pain this flower could dish out.

He dug his heels in and pulled.

For a split second, he thought he saw someone else in the fire, a woman with a harsh frown on her face stared at him with dark, hard eyes.

Then the woman gave him a subtle nod and he ripped the flower from the ground.

He fell back into his brothers’ waiting arms.

“Fucking hells, you got it. You actually got it you crazy bastard!” Wukong shouted gleefully, shaking his arm aggressively.

He hissed in pain and pulled away from his brother.

“Are you alright?” Ao Lie asked.

He shook his head and staggered to his feet.

“I will be.” He grunted.

“We must hurry this back to Iron Fan.” He said.

Wukong nodded and formed his cloud underneath their feet.

“Hold on tight boys, we're going home.”

XXX

DBK paced anxiously outside of the royal delivery room.

The birth had been going well so far. Iron Fan’s sickness, though now Wukong was starting to think it was some form of curse designed to imitate illness which explained why none of the previous treatments had worked. Whatever it was, the Samadhi Flower had cured her of it.

They got back just in time too, Mihou had told them that Iron Fan would have died if they were even a day later.

DBK had been right, they really had been out of time.

Ao Lie came in with another tray of tea, from the smell of it he made all their personal favorites.

Out of the three of them, DBK had the experience with birth and the process it entailed. Ao Lie had been present and assisted in the births of many other dragons, family members or otherwise, he helped his own mate birth their daughter years ago. He had never seen someone so calm at their own mate’s labor.

And Wukong himself had served as a midwife more times than he could count for his people, though he trusted his mate more than he trusted himself to handle a more difficult birth. Mihou was Iron Fan’s sworn brother too so she probably felt more comfortable with him tending to her.

He took the tea Ao Lie offered and forced himself to relax externally. He had been through this enough times to know that the only thing he could do right now was keep his cool, help his brother stay calm, and wait for the results.

XXX

Liu'er Mihou shouldn't be scared, he had helped deliver countless babies before and performed many cesarean sections in his lifetime. He was no stranger to the struggles of birth.

So why was he stressing so much over this one?

Iron Fan was his sister, but he had helped many close to him give birth before.

It could be added stress from her near death experience only than a week ago, or it could be his aid.

He glanced up as Ivory entered the main room with a bin of cool water for his sister.

The ice demon always set him off for reasons he could never explain, but he knew to trust his instincts and not trust her.

He usually tried to keep the lesser advisor away from his sister, except for when absolutely necessary and right now, she was the only ice demon in the palace. He needed her powers.

Iron Fan was burning up and Ivory's ice magic worked wonders at keeping the Queen cool. That didn't mean he would trust the bone white demon.

He signaled the doctor with his tail, they quickly came to his side.

“I don't think I can turn the baby, I'm starting to think I'll have to go for a cesarean.” He told them.

They frowned and felt around for themself.

“That baby is pretty stuck in there. You'll probably have to.” They agreed.

“I was really hoping I wouldn't.” He sighed.

Cesareans were tricky, vertical or horizontal, though in his experience a horizontal was much easier, but he didn't have the time for that one. He had to get the baby out soon.

“Can you get everything ready? I'm going to tell her.” He requested quietly.

The doctor nodded and set about preparing the birthing room for surgery.

“Ivory, go tell Wukong that the Queen needs a cesarean.” He ordered.

The ice demon nodded and bowed then swiftly left the room.

Mihou went to his sister's side and tapped her arm gently. She opened her now burnt magenta eyes and frowned.

“There's trouble.” She guessed.

“Yes, the baby is stuck, the best thing to do is a cesarean.” He said.

She closed her eyes and leaned her head back with a soft groan.

“Are you okay with that?” He asked.

“You're the expert here. Do what you think is-” she broke off with a shout as a particularly strong contraction hit her.

“I'll get started.” He told her.

Everything was prepared for the surgery, he ordered Ivory to fetch a healer and prepare a bath for the baby.

He took a deep breath and made the first incision.

XXX

Mihou gently washed the newborn in a warm bath as Lihua got the incision healing. The young demon was pretty good at giving injuries a healing kickstart. He was very glad when Ivory had returned with her.

Iron Fan was resting, he had given her a few heavy pain killers so she wouldn't feel her skin being knit back together. Sometimes healing injuries like that felt worse than receiving them.

She would recover quickly, she had always healed fast, it was why she lasted so long against the sickness-curse that nearly took her life, and she could be back to her normal life soon. With her son of course.

The newborn was a little boy, he had floppy little bull ears, little spots where horns would eventually grow and a cute little tail that looked like a paint brush. And he had a lot of hair already.

It was bright red and silky soft.

He was already so excited to introduce his sister to her little boy.

XXX

DBK sat up as soon as the door opened, Mihou gave him a tired, happy smile.

“Would you like to meet your son?” He asked.

He practically tore the doors off the hinges in his rush to get in the room.

The love of his life was resting in the delivery bed, or she had been until he disturbed her.

His queen shot him a fiery, tired glare before a soft smile graced her lips.

“Darling, it's so wonderful to see you well.” He said, kneeling at her bedside.

“It's wonderful to be well.” She said, cupping his cheek with her free hand.

Her fingers twirled around the burnt and permanently damaged fur.

She leaned closer to him and he wrapped his arms around her. They sat together for a quiet moment of peace before Iron Fan spoke again.

“Do you want to hold him?” She asked.

He nodded eagerly and she gently placed their little boy in his hands.

He fit perfectly in his palms.

“He's so tiny.” He almost squealed.

Iron Fan laughed softly and leaned on his shoulder, reaching over to run her fingers through their son's fluffy red hair. 

“Perfect, isn't he?” she mused.

“Yes, our precious Red Son.” he said, nuzzling her forehead gently.

He overheard his brothers trying to leave quietly.

“I want one.”

“Me too.”

“Can we get one?”

“Not now…”

Their voices faded as the pair of monkeys shut the door softly behind them.

DBK shifted into a more comfortable position and held his wife and son as they both succumbed to the exhaustion of the last day.

This, holding his family close to him, was a gift, it was a blessing they were even alive at all.

Their survival was in a way a gift from Iron Fan’s estranged mother.

Their child bore the mark of her gift to the realm on his back.

DBK swore he saw the goddess in the flames of the flower when he picked it. Even if their relationship wasn't the best, she didn't want her daughter and grandchild to die.

Even if she never did anything else for them or even acknowledged her grandson, he would be forever grateful for her gift to him.

His wife and son.

XXX

LBD slipped quietly into the humble house she had built deep into the woods. Far east from the capital city of the Ironbull Empire.

It was far from her preferred home, but if all went well, she would be returning there soon enough.

Regardless of her preferences, this spot was carefully chosen; it was far enough from most settlements that her residence was completely unknown, yet in an area known for having some isolated hermits living in it.

Her activities could go unnoticed yet if she was seen no one would think anything of it. The cost of making a portal to go back and forth between the capital was worth it.

This was the perfect place to plan and continue her experiments.

Her thrall opened the door for her.

“Welcome back my lady.” He said enthusiastically as he always did.

“How was your time away?” He asked.

She didn't respond, instead she went to the hidden staircase and descended into her dungeon to check on her little project’s process.

“You've been caring for my project while I was away?” She asked as she descended the stairs.

“Of course my lady.”

“Good. My visit to the capital has proved quite informative.” She told him.

“Oh?”

“The Samadhi Flower has been used to save Queen Iron Fan, her son now holds its power within him.” She said.

“The grandson of Xiwangmu.” he chuckled.

Oh yes, Xiwangmu’s attempt to prevent “mortals” from truly having control of her power was based on the fact she never thought one of her own would settle in the realm. Quite a humorous twist of fate really.

She stepped off the last step and approached the shadowy figure sitting in a cell of bone and ice.

The monkey growled softly at her approach. Clearly they were still doing just fine. Their process was coming along quite nicely. Her thrall didn't have any new injuries, so her little project had been very well behaved while she was gone.

That was deserving of a reward.

“What is to be done with the young prince?” Her thrall questioned as she prepared a nice treat for her well behaved monkey demon.

“Do you still plan to take him as your own?” He asked gleefully, knowing exactly how to get the monkey's undivided attention.

“Well, if all goes well, I won't have to resort to that quite yet.” She said with a glance over her shoulder at her experiment.

The monkey bared their fangs and their tail twitched in agitation, but otherwise they made no protest. How could they?

The icy blue chains blocked their magic and forced them to remain in this bitterly cold hell.

Laohu silently watched the witch come around with a tray of fruit. A reward for their perceived good behavior. They would have bitten the thrall if they hadn't felt so sick in the time the witch was gone.

The witch gave them a cold smile and oh so graciously offered them the tray. Laohu knew better than to refuse the witch's “charity” and accepted the “reward”.

They were to busy checking it for possible danger that they didn't notice the witch sneak closer to them until her long, boney fingers started working out the knots in their extra fluffy fur.

Laohu froze, they always did. The witch hummed to herself, uncaring of their discomfort.

Begrudgingly, they allowed the witch to groom their fur. It was necessary to deal with their now thick fur, and they couldn't do it themself anymore, but Laohu hated every moment of it.

The witch took something shared between family, between mates, and twisted it into something rotten.

It made their skin crawl and their stomach churn.

Qiuyue, their mate, should be the one going through their fur, not this witch.

Laohu suffered through the involuntary grooming session, not giving much of a response to the witch's comments about how they should take better care of themself for the child's sake, as if the witch would actually care about them, and finally relaxed enough to be able to eat once the witch and her thrall returned to their dwellings above.

They glared at the stone ceiling above them, then sighed and buried themself in the small nest they had made. The witch was cruel, but she provided them with the necessities to successfully produce what she wanted.

It was better than sleeping on the cold floor, but at the same time they didn't want to accept anything from the witch.

They curled up and wrapped their tail around their baby bump, around the little one who the witch would do gods know what to regardless of the outcome.

Laohu rested a hand on their bump and silently promised their child that they would find some way to get out of this, to keep their little lily safe from their “mother” and get back to their mate and cub.

[lady-starkiller]

even more “the vampire lestat” thoughts:

- nobody:

armand: *is a cult leader*

- modern au armand would be diamond plus or whatever they call it in an mlm

- origins of the vampire theater!!

- nicki is not long for this world I think :( either to madness or armand I think we’re going to lose our violinist

- btw top 10 saddest anime breakups

- the whole thing about nicki wanting them to fail in paris and it sounding like he resented lestat for finding joy in their circumstance, in the little successes? that was sad :(

- armand is doing the same thing he does with louis in IWTV where lestat gives him Identity in the changing world which he latches onto to ground him in the madness of immortality. but baby girl/boy/they I don’t think lestat is going to fix it. holding armand in my arms but also by the scruff as you thrash in anger and rage and try to Get Me.

- so armand gets to the vampire theater somehow based on IWTV and from the show season 2 trailer he and lestat are “co-founders”. 100% he could be lying but he hasn’t shown up yet at the theater and with nicki taking on that founder role, things aren’t making much sense now.

- also love the gabrielle gender moments. it reads she feels great freedom outside of the Woman, Mother role (which makes the times lestat calls her ‘mother’ vs ‘gabrielle’ have a lot of interesting context too). part of me expects her to up and leave lestat at any moment tbh to further separate herself from that last life.

- lestat has to get back to his father at some point so is the inciting incident his mother leaving him behind? is it nicki or armand doing Something with the theater?

- lestat is crying less and less per page which worries me as someone who also cries a lot bc it usually means I’m about to emotionally explode. watch out lestat!

- armand in nicki’s apartment…creeped me outttttt get out of there!!

[jade-of-mourning]

hey. I’m back. you probably didn’t miss me LOL, but I saw your response to my ask and I got really excited 😭

okay so I actually sent the ask about posting to ao3 with the avatar mako concept in mind cuz I love making my non-avatar faves the avatar,,, and then I noticed you said asks about hcs and stuff are welcome so⁉️⁉️

I would love to hear more about the avatar mako au if you’re willing (that summary has me SO pumped btw)

and if it’s not too much of a bother, would you mind an ask about a little blurb idea I had but don’t really know how to write? I appreciate the word vomit response btw it makes me feel appreciated!! as you can probably tell I do a little word vomit when I get excited so. lol. love when my insanity is reciprocated :]

-🐌

welcome back anon! it's lovely to hear from you again <3

ah yes i too am a fan of reading non-avatar!avatar aus; they're so fun! also ty for enabling to talk about my au gfsjhjbhkfsdgjh i'll word vomit beneath the cut lol

and finally, yes! feel free to send it in :) i'd be happy to help if i can, though no guarantees </3

the au starts about four years prior to when book 1 takes place in lok, so mako, bolin, and asami are all aged down four years while the equalist revolution is not yet on the horizon — though i'm keeping the aid kids roughly the same age as they were, just because i want to play off their dynamic :P

in the context of Why No Avatar Korra, aang's temporary death during the crossroads of destiny led the avatar spirit to pass onto a water tribe child — until aang promptly un-died and raava returned, with a small part of her spirit left in the other to sustain their survival. (kind of playing off the avatar!yue theory and some of those theories floating around from book 1's airing lol.) so basically when aang died 54 years later, raava was unable to move on to the next avatar immediately, so she waited in a sort of suspended stasis until the not-avatar passed and the cycle returned at earth. i'm not sure how much i'll actually explore this in the fic, if at all, but yeah here's the explanation.

so mako is technically the earth avatar, but his firebending visibly pulled up first so he was just assumed to be a firebender. fast forward, dead parents & pre-canon sort of plays out as i tend to headcanon it, including lots of casual Bad Things and Horrible Trauma-Inducing Circumstances. however, as mako gets older he starts to realize that there might be a slight issue in that he can bend both fire and earth.

okayyy… okay this is fine. it's probably because his parents are from both nations. (he breaks into the library to verify that no, dual benders do not exist even in mixed families.) he doesn't know what the triple threats would do to him if they found out — would they exploit him further, or would they straight up kill him? he keeps it a secret from everyone, including bolin, because for all that he loves bolin considerably more than he loves life itself, bolin is also largely terrible at keeping secrets and this isn't something anyone can ever know. he doesn't practice any of the other elements, sticking to firebending exclusively, so aside from this added weight of such a heavy secret on his shoulders, up to fourteen it all goes the same.

(some casual Bad Things include, but are not limited to: the horrors of industrial age 1920s child homelessness, recruitment into the gang, lightningbending, and being trained specifically by zolt for intimidation factor and potential takeover. there's an unfortunate amount of child abuse and exploitation going on there.)

and then he's at a transaction with the triple threats when they get busted by the police, including lin beifong herself. mako is very much a fighter and very good at it, in that despite having not been trained properly, he's still vicious and entirely desperate due to his determination to stick around for bolin. he will bite your head off if he feels backed into a corner and will do whatever it takes to come out on the other side. his rage at the world has yet to subside after six years on the streets at age fourteen. he has zero chill and has no slowly coming sense of stability that he's on the cusp of gaining around his introduction in canon. he is both way worse and way better at repressing his feelings here than he is at eighteen, but that'll probably get explored in the fic, so i'll leave it here. anyway this is where lightning-happy mako slips up and accidentally earthbends directly at the Chief; and where most officers would've probably just let it slide under the assumption that they were going crazy, lin beifong does not do crazy.

so this is where the fic starts, as you probably read from the first draft snippet. a lot of set up that will probably never come up, at least not so explicitly like this, but it'll probably write itself in somehow. going on, we've got some air island arrival shenanigans, where mako first tries denial, realizes that it's not going to work, and outwardly verbally acquiesces with the whole fine-you-caught-me-i'll-be-the-avatar bullshit. internally, he is calculating the price of the artifacts in the room and the chances of him grabbing bolin from headquarters and the two of them bailing it out of the city with the sold-artifacts' profit.

so the question is, why would mako run when he's being offered the opportunity to have some semblance of safety and comfort for the first time in his life?

because mako, disbeliever of pacifism, is convinced that tenzin is going to kill him once he realizes that it isn't worth the effort trying to domesticate this violent street kid who's experienced an unbelievable amount of trauma and has a learned, deep-set cynicism for the world — if it's even possible at all. that tenzin will quickly come to deem that the world may as well wait another decade-plus for a better avatar. mako's selfish and even if he knows that his death would enable an actually competent avatar that would acutally help the world to be reborn, he refuses to leave bolin alone (even if a small part of him knows that if it weren't for bolin, him being so very tired so very often probably would've just allowed this path to happen). that's a major-minor plot point.

i'll leave it at that for now before i just write out my entire outline in this post :P but yeah, it'll feature mako learning to care for the world again, plus some quality mako & jinora friendship, bolin acquiring a mother figure in pema, and a peculiar mako & asami relationship after events in which, and i quote from my outline chapter summary, "Mako discovers that trying to steal from Rich Girl Asami Sato is a bad idea."

[lutiaskokopelli]

I’m pretty sure at least 90% of my followers have at least heard of the Feral/ShitLord AU so far, but just in case some of you haven’t, it’s an AU made by @chipper-smol and it’s everything a Hollow Knight AU should ever dream to be. Stupid and simple in concept, leaves enough room for a humongous amount of random shenanigans and heartfelt moments between characters who are all awesome in their own ways and try their best... All in all, everything that I love about a story. The perfect mix betwen Hilarity & Reality ensue.

If y’all like my comic series but somehow don’t know their AU yet? Go check them out! It’s even better, and without the random parodic 4th-wall-breaking OC thrown in!

(By the way I’m really sorry for all the rambling and shitpost that follows, I’ll put the rest below the cut x’D I just can’t help it, when I get on a theory rampage then nothing can stop me lmao. Headcanons and conspiracies below! Also some more shitpost and hand-drawn memes while I’m at it)

So. *cracks fingers* Now that the introductions are out of the way... It’s time to crack open this AU’s core problem. This is a “[REDACTED] goes back in time somehow and uses this opportunity to change fate around them earlier on” AU, the keyword here being “somehow.” So far, I still have no idea whether this “somehow” means that Chipper-smol doesn’t know yet what the means is, or if they have their own idea but never revealed it yet for personal/plot reasons.

(Btw just to be clear, the first option is totally valid, I absolutely dig that this is an AU made for fun! And hey, even if I’m a conspiracy theorist when it comes to making fictional plots, I too have had to make a point with TFS of NOT going further down into answering plot questions than necessary. Otherwise I’d lose my sanity like I did with my dozens of previous stories lmao. It’s my personal guilty pleasure to add lore into every single thing despite how much time and energy it sometimes takes out of me, but the downside to that is that, yeah, once you go down the rabbit hole but forget the ladder, you’re gonna have a hard time climbing back up. I’m doing this whole post here for fun, but I hope it won’t pressure anyone into thinking “this is how the AU should go” or anything. This post has just some random tween rambling here, nothing else to see here haha)

Anyway, back to the point. For now, there is no canonical answer as to how Feral/Ghost were able to go back in time.

Time to answer it >:)

Soooooo for the longest time, until I took more time today to think it over, my first idea was rather close to what I already am using for TFS -- as in, since it’s canonically established that there’s a huge amount of Dream/Nightmare realm-related areas with many purposes, one of which being the Shrine of Believers which technically breaks the fourth wall and everything... I guess, canonically, pretty much everything related to Dreams may or may not be Applied Phlebotinum. So, why the heck not, dream shenanigans could or couldn’t have sent Ghost back in time. Maybe. I guess that’s about as likely as a flying talking transdimensional mushroom referencing previous or possibly future games Team Cherry has made.

But now... I think I found a better idea. Kinda?

Let’s go back on how things went -- or at least, what I’ve gathered of it so far. Feral/Ghost got to see Godhome and became the Shade Lord at a certain point, defeating Radiance in the process. Then, they somehow went back in time and ended up all the way down in the Abyss, climbing back up at the same time as the Hollow Knight does. They both get taken in by the Pale King, and that’s when Feral/Ghost realizes that they are, in fact, in the past.

Now... There’s one thing I remember being said about the void. It “could deny Time.” Sure, it’s said by the Pale King under the probable context that it’s meant to help Hallownest remain eternal through putting the Infection under a stasis, not that Void actually has time-related powers. But... It’d be fun to at least consider taking that sentence literally, I guess.

And now, the third theory. One that I came to like the most, not gonna lie.

What if... It was all because of a single, little, flower. Just picture the cutscene: the Lord of Shade appears, obliterates the Radiance, then takes a hold of the Godseeker in an attempt to reach reality -- and then poof. Nothing. Nothing except for that tiny pale flower, decaying as it seems to have used the last of its life force.

The Delicate Flower sure is a strange and mysterious artifact. It comes from a land beyond Hallownest, it is sometimes described as “Pale” as well (I think? Don’t @ me for it), and most of all, the White Lady alludes to its “rare power” to the extent that she adds, “To hold it so close, one must surely be unaware of its nature...”

So yeah. For all we know, “sending the Void back in time” hasn’t yet been ruled out of the list of things that the Delicate Flower could have done to make Godseeker and the Shade Lord disappear completely. Right? :p

Now the question that goes with that though is, if we go down that rabbit hole all the way through... Did Godseeker go back in time too???

Now I can only picture what a thrown-back-in-time Godseeker could possibly do. Probably leave the junkpit at least, which would explain why it’d take so long before Feral/Ghost finds her. Possibly preach the Shade Lord’s almighty power to whoever wants to listen to her, too. Who knows. 

This last paragraph has absolutely nothing to do with all the above, but I have one last question, just because. It is at the very least Extremely Likely in this AU that Feral/Ghost isn’t hollow at all, so I kinda wonder if the Radiance ever tried to visit their dreams (as well as Hollow’s while we’re at it) long before Hollow is ready to be sealed. I mean, either Radiance is too scared of visiting their dreams because even if they aren’t hollow they are still partially made of void; or, she realizes they aren’t hollow and that she can thus maybe try to infect them too. Just throwing random ideas here. Although I’d rather go with the first option for Void-vs-Radiance reasons, one cannot deny that it’d be hilarious to at least imagine what an early encounter between Radiance and Feral could be. Feral has been labelled as such by the Pale King’s Court. The people Feral wants to protect. Now, just what amount of f*ckery could Feral even reach with someone they actually want to destroy? (unless, of course, they take the Radiance 100% seriously and don’t want to do anything to her until they get access once more to their Shade Lord powers. That’d be a wise and tactical option. It’s just a shame that Feral hasn’t really been proven to have both of those skills so far in the AU lmao)

Extra: After seeing Ghost get a teen form in the Feral AU I could no longer resist. I had to draw Player getting one too, even if that’s never gonna happen.

anyway here it is i’m done lmao. whoever managed to read this far gets a free virtual cookie

[spicynamericano]

Perception. - mk lee

sypnosis: you meet a stranger in the park, who helps you prepare for your interview with renowned author, mark lee.

word count: 2.1k

genre: fluff, strangers to friends!au, author!mark x reporter!reader

a/n: i impulsively wrote this in the wee hours of the morning because i can't stop thinking about mark lee and his poems! btw, this is my first time posting an au on this platform, but i do have ongoing twitter fics (written in eng/fil)!

I had just finished my late night shift at the office and was on my way home from work. Being a field reporter is not an easy job. I have to work my butt off to always stay up to date on the latest news and make sure to grab even the rarest exclusives.

I have to travel to basically anywhere, just to gather the most accurate information for the daily primetime news. And even if work is done for the day, I would usually go overtime to make sure no single detail is left out for tomorrow’s reports.

My workplace isn’t that far from home, or what I call home now. Moving into my elder sister’s old apartment was not a hassle. It was actually quite a blessing since I always used to stay over whenever we visited the city. I really thank the heavens that her place was near my workplace. Imagine the struggle of moving in and out from scratch. Actually, I wouldn’t even dare to imagine.

I would usually ride my bike to and from the office, but since I was running a bit late earlier in the morning, I decided to take the bus. Convenience at its finest. But it’s late now. A fifteen minute walk back home won’t hurt, right? Besides, I needed a breather. A walk in the nearby park would suffice.

It’s midnight and of course, the park is empty. Although Seoul is alive 24/7, I really like how some areas still have that laid-back vibe. I walk to the swings and place my bag on the ground. I do wish someone would push me right now. I just wanna be free from all the hectic stuff I’ve been doing lately.

But no, the quick rest I thought of didn’t stop me from going over tomorrow’s duties. I scan my little, brown notepad and check the work I have yet to accomplish. I mostly finished them before I got off work, but there is one more that I needed to do for tomorrow: interview Mr. Mark Lee, the author of the best-selling Late Night Scribbles.

It’s a collection of poems and prose he’s written over the course of five years during his travels to different cities as a renowned travel writer. His travel reviews and recommendations were something I always looked forward to reading. Maybe someday I could go on a stress-free holiday trip thanks to his advice.

I have read his book. For someone who’s trained into more technical writing like me, I could still clearly resonate with most of the poems he’s written. Not too shallow, not too deep. Though you do need to have a sense of literature in order to understand more of his deeper works. He isn’t famous for nothing.

What appalled me though is that he never showed his face to anyone, not even once. Some say he’s actually the main rapper of the world-renowned boy group NCT, since they bear the same name. I think otherwise. Well, it could be, though. Rappers do make their own lines and tell their own stories.

But I don’t think that Mark Lee would be the same person I’d be interviewing tomorrow. It’s weird because I won’t be actually meeting him face to face. He said he’d rather converse through email. Works for me since I don’t have to travel tomorrow. Thank God.

Well, let me tell you a secret. The reason I don’t think author Mark Lee is singer Mark Lee is because singer Mark Lee is actually my childhood best friend. Crazy, huh? I used to live in Vancouver when I was young until my family and I moved back to Korea during my teen years.

I don’t think he remembers me, though. But I do remember him. Our moms were practically best friends. I couldn’t say the same to us, only if he still actually remembers me.

I stretch my arms up high and bend it side to side. God, I need a massage asap. I was about to pick up my bag when a basketball rolled over and hit the tip of my loafers. A man dressed in black waves from the court, signaling to toss the ball to his direction.

I would toss it if I could but I walk over instead. Blame my poor strength and reflexes. And I obviously do not want to embarrass myself. A rough day’s a rough day. I don’t want an addition.

“Uhm, are you looking for this?” I ask the guy, tossing the ball mid-air.

“Yes, thank you…” he pauses. “uh…”

“Oh, it’s (y/n).” I introduced myself, “And you are?”

“Minhyung.”

“Well, you’re welcome, Minhyung. Good luck with your basketball practice!” I gave him a nod before finally turning back to go home.

“Wait!” he calls out. “Do you maybe wanna have a cup of coffee? There’s a nearby convenience store still open. I figured you might need it.”

Was it that obvious? I can’t imagine how stressed I look right now! He has probably seen the dark circles under my eyes. Gross.

I finally turn around and give him a smile, “You know, maybe I do need it. Let’s go?”

This man and I walk to the nearby convenience store just a few meters away from the court. It’s midnight and not many people are here. Well, just exactly like how I want it. The park can actually become full, even until 10 pm. But I guess these people also need some shut-eye. I’m actually surprised this man right here still has some energy left.

I wait outside and sit at the nearest gazebo while he buys instant coffee for the both of us. He arrives with three in hand. Does he like coffee that much?

“You’re really gonna drink two?” I ask him curiously.

“It’s actually for you,” he says as he hands me one of the cups. “I feel like you’re going to be staying up late tonight.”

Well, he’s right. I am gonna be staying up late. I still need to prepare questions for tomorrow’s, or later, rather, interview. I really won’t be getting some sleep tonight. I also need to do research on him too.

“Well, I do have an interview for tomorrow. I still need to prepare as it’s a very important one.”

“With whom, may I ask?”

“Mark Lee, the author. Not the singer.”

“Oh,” he lets out a soft sigh that can be heard, even through his mask. Is he offended that I don’t think author Mark Lee and singer Mark Lee are the same?

“Why do you sound so disappointed?”

“Uh, nothing. I just remembered the book he recently released. Have you read it?”

“Late Night Scribbles?”

“Yes, that!” he answered enthusiastically. Wow, I guess I found a fan right here. He might actually help me with my interview later. I need to grab this chance.

“Do you mind helping me? I’m actually going to interview him about it tomorrow.” I gave him the widest smile, hoping he’d say yes. I normally wouldn’t do this to strangers, especially at night. But I really just need to get this over with.

“Well, as someone who’s a fan of his works. I’d like to give it a try and interpret it,” he said, taking a sip of his coffee. “Just imagine I’m Mark Lee. Shoot your questions.”

“Hmm, I can’t be answering personal questions since you’re not Mark Lee.” I scratch my head. Damn, I can’t think of anything. My brain is not working right now! “But if you were Mark Lee, what would you want to be asked?”

“If I were Mark Lee? Well, rather than asking what my inspiration was behind the works I’ve made, I’d rather be asked on how I tried to convey my thoughts and feelings to this piece of work,” he explained, staring at the night sky.

I followed the direction of his gaze, and he’s looking at Orion, one of the brightest constellations out there. I gaze at it too while waiting for him to continue explaining.

“But isn’t it basically the same as drawing inspiration from something?” I ask profoundly.

“Not really. You can draw inspiration from anything. And you can come up with different outputs based on one inspiration. What’s important is how you’re able to connect the context of what you’re writing to the feelings you want to draw out,” he continues.

“With a single inspiration, I can come up with two completely different works based on how it’s written. The idea may be the same but the context is not.”

“Hmm, care to explain a little further?” I ask politely.

“We can use Black Socks as an example.”

Black socks are underrated

The way they connect the bottom sleeves of

my black sweatpants to my black sneakers

is just perfect

Pleasure from perfect alignment

That also goes for the ability to be parallel

with my thoughts and actions

I try to live out what’s in my mind, and keep

it consistent even when forgotten like a

working habit

A moment to think twice about what

seemed unimportant

Black socks have been making my day

these days and I knew I had to return the

favor by acknowledging them

I throw you in the bin only so that you can

be renewed again

“Black socks, literally an ordinary object that is tossed to the bin right after use. But what caught my eye is his appreciation for this mundane thing.”

“Through his words, you can tell black socks gave him comfort. He used a simple subject to convey his inner thoughts of how every little thing we don’t really recognize can actually be part of our routine, our life,” he said, looking me in the eye seriously.

“He found comfort in the most ordinary things no ordinary person would take notice of.”

Minhyung stands up and stretches his arms. He then continues, “It’s actually cool he shared this piece with us. If I were him, I’d go on and ramble how black socks could ruin my laundry.”

We both chuckle at the thought. It’s true. I hate how some of my black socks actually ruin my laundry. I dread the thought.

“It’s only a matter of perception, (y/n). Sometimes, you have to open your eyes and see, not look. Listen, not hear. Savor, not taste. Feel, not touch.”

“You know, you could actually be Mark Lee himself,” I tease him, “You do know your literature.”

I know he smiled at my remark. I can see his cheekbones rise from the edges of his mask.

“Sometimes, you just have to ask the right questions in order to get the answers you want,” he said teasingly. “You can’t get what you want if you don’t know what you want.”

For a stranger, he’s indeed a good talker. I actually learned so much from our talk tonight.

“Thanks for tonight, Minhyung. I really learned a lot.” I thank him before gulping down the last cup of coffee he bought me. “And thanks for the coffee, by the way! I now have energy to prepare for my interview later.”

“No problem. I’m just glad that I was able to help.”

I stood up from my seat and we both started walking away from the park.

“It’s 1 am. How are you gonna get home, (y/n)?” Minhyung asks worriedly. Yeah, it is pretty late. It’s a good thing I just live near.

“My apartment’s just two blocks away. I can manage,” I say with a smile, a genuine one at that. “How about you?”

“I’ll just grab a cab. Do you mind if I walk you home?” I don’t know why but I felt flustered for a moment. Surprisingly though, I just nodded my head, giving him permission to accompany me home.

We both arrive at the entrance of my apartment building and we say our last goodbyes.

“For a stranger, you really do know how to make people comfy,” I say, crossing my arms and giving him a stare, brows furrowed to tease him.

“Well, that’s just how I am,” he says while giving me a wink. Okay, now he’s flirting. Someone stop him, please. Just kidding.

“By the way, you haven’t taken your mask off the entire time except when drinking coffee. I couldn’t get a good glimpse at you since it was dark,” I explain. It’s true. Add the fact that I’m barely keeping myself awake the whole time. “I might’ve actually thought you’re an idol of some sort. Perhaps, maybe you are Mark Lee.”

“What?” he asks, puzzled and clearly taken aback. “Why’d you think so?”

“Because you share the same name with him.”

[therealvinelle]

Doylist analysis of For the Love of a Woman

(Link to the fic in question.)

The anon who requested a Doylist analysis from @bellaslilpapercut submitted their thoughts:

doyle anon here, keep this anonymous (also canon-narrative sorta just means What-Smeyer-Thinks, to clarify) -

I think the reason FtLoaW is so intringiung to me is even within the inaccurate and inconsistent  perception Stephenie Meyers has of her characters (viewing edward and jacob as they are in canon as ‘good’, etc) The basic premise is comically plausible, literally only a hair off from canon, and the further you go usually the inaccuracies are for humour but are still plausible to a point.

Like, Jacob and Edward both would do literally anything to get the ending they think is right even within Meyers mind, she straight up has Edward be willing to have an open relationship in BD, Jacob deadass was about to launch himself off a cliff that one time, they are insistent, they regularly have no dignity what so ever, the request Edward makes is only slightly off from canon in timing and desperation, and they both agreed to it somewhat in canon.

Like, Meyers might obviously have them come up with better ideas to make it palatable to Bella, (i say better but like i mean more efficient) but, would Ed and Jacob make out if it meant Bella wouldn’t die by Vamp pp? Yeah, she wouldn’t like to think about that, she’d probably just have Ed and Jacob back off for once or something, but they WOULD. Even the inaccurate perceptions of Ed and Jake WOULD DO THIS, just probably less awkwardly.

And that’s INTERESTING because it’s like, how WOULD the original canon grapple with this? How would Smeyer’s idea of these characters react to this? How would what Smeyer thinks Bella is react to this? If Smeyer pushed herself into this corner, and couldnt just drag herself out of it, what does she think would happen? How would she move forward? Likely the anwser is just 'this becomes one of those moments where Smeyer heads up to something then drops it’ like shes prone to doing but, Bella’s reaction in that fic isn’t that off even from Smeyers perception of her to me.

Especially because like… canon-narrative! Jacob and Edward work!! Even within the confusing hellscape that is the Twilight Narrative and its perceptions of them, theyd canonically work!! The original anon who started all this pointed out how Edward said Jacob’s mind is pleasant and that they might’ve been friends, but like, they have similar personalities in general! People don’t really realise it because what people tend to stick with and therefore what becomes fanon (jacobs NM sunniness and Edwards genuinely surreal lack of social skills) isnt similar, but Smeyer wrote them to be so similar. They’d get along in other circumstances! Within the canon-narrative, if they finally got along and sucked face itd be like… deeply tension filled, And awkward, the only thing stop FtLoaW from happening is like, them having minor social skils compared to their watsonian counterparts

tl;dr somehow your crackfic dependent on watsonian analysis of the series also makes total sense in the context of canon-narrative perceptions of the same characters minus the obvious surrealism and like, holy shit batman, you’ve done it! you’ve taken this series main consistent point of 'doing what u think is best w/o consent’ and drove it to its logical conclusion, accidentally driving it off a cliff (the main romances in the series) in the process!

or, funnier tldr - someone bribe smeyer in writing canon-narrative AU of your fic, i NEED to know how she would confront this.

Sorry if this wasn’t that interesting btw i just like, Have Thoughts. And like i dont think ao3 has that large of a comment character allowance.

Anon, you fascinate me.

[soyouareandrewdobson]

Will you ignorant Dobson please shut the hell up?!

Small distraction from the few things I want to post soon today or tomorrow, but I think this might fall into the category “entertainingly ironic” and “unfortunately problematic” when it comes to Dobson.

Right now I am going through a few old threads on Dobson and the stuff he has posted over the years for the sake of research and I stumbled upon THIS old twitter post of his, where he states he is baffled at certain comments he got, without really elaborating on it further

Yeah. According to his own statement, Dobson was called the N-word around the time he got into slapfights with Gamergate after his Vivianne James comics.

Now I will say the following: I do believe that the word has become one of the ugliest in the human language, as it has been used in context of the oppression and dehumanization of black people within the western world. I know of variations of the word that are in relation to certain contexts meant to be less offensive, but even then their usage is highly debatable and I do not enourage people to use it on an every day basis. “Unfortunately” though, I know a certain context where calling Dobson that word is rather fitting. And here it is:

What you see here is a scene from the ninth episode of season 1 from the tv animated series “The Boondocks”. The episode is titled “Return of the King” and aired on January 15th 2006 . The episode itself is centered around the AU idea of Martin Luther King not having been assassinated in the 60s, but instead falling into a coma thanks to the shooter and awakening in “modern” America to learn what black culture had turned into. The entire episode in itself being a very sarcastic and cynic criticism of black entertainment and culture nowadays, turning it into a far cry of the battles the people had to fight in the civil rights movement. This speech in itself, despite it’s political incorrect nature by using the n-word, being essentially a call out to people who complain about how black people are mistreated in society, but acting themselves like utter fools and the worst stereotypes out there (like lets say an american acting like a gun wielding racist cowboy, or a german as lederhosen wearing nazi etc.) in doing so just adding to the state of oppression and prejudice still being a thing.

Now reception of the episode has been kinda mixed over the years, but personally I and others think the speech is pretty damn good, as it does point out in a very dark way the worst aspect of any “movement”. The false “ally” and complainer, who has no idea even on the bigger issues and instead focuses on minor shit while acting as the worst version of themselves possible.

(btw, proof here that black people are also okay with this scene)

Anyway, how does this speech “correlate” to Dobson? Well, let me just remove the n-word from part of  the speech, replace it with Dobson’s name and tell me, if any of Martin Luther King Jr.s description of Dobson sounds accurate or not:

And you don't want to be a Dobson. Because Dobsons are living contradictions. Dobsons are full of unfulfilled ambitions. Dobsons wax and wane. Dobsons love to complain. Dobsons love to hear themselves talk but hate to explain. Dobsons love being another man's judge and jury. Dobsons procrastinate until it's time to worry. Dobsons love to be late. Dobsons hate to hurry! [...]

So... yeah.

If we associate the n-word as something meant to describe a genuinely lazy, hypocritical, always complaining person with a huge ego and judgemental perosnality trait that does nothing with the life and chances given to him... 

EDIT: BTW, here is also the source for that tweet, so you know I am not faking those posts:

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/andrew-dobson-aka-tom-preston.1933/page-269

Around the bottom.

[harristops]

Did you watch the first Group stages for the Olympics? Thoughts? Do you think the US could have done better if Ash/Ali were there?

Not surprised by any of the stage results so far, tbh. Let's break it down team by team and go from there with my hot takes lmao:

GBR vs. CHI

Chile, while they have a GOAT in Endler, just doesn't have anything else to win, so they're never going to get passed the group stage, or if they do, it will be on a miracle. Like we've seen, good GKs can only keep your team in the game, whether or not they can stay in it is up to them. England has a strong squad and had a great start, and I think they'll hold up just fine in their group even against Canada or Japan for that top seed. They have enough gelling for them to work.

JPN vs. CAN

Two words: Steph Labbé. This is the Ashlyn Harris/Alyssa Naeher combo we all wish we could have. The heart she had to commit the PK, and then save it? A legendary move and I honestly felt for her that she had to be subbed out. Kailen, though, she's still so young and this is a great experience for her and knowing her, she's only going to continue to drive to improve and be better next game (even though that goal was a really tough one to save and came off some poor defending) - the CANWNT run into the same problems as the Pride sometimes; they're not out there to go and score a whole bunch of times, rather they score once and then defend the rest of the match. I need to see more attack from someone other than Sincy (congrats on her 300th cap and 187th goal, btw, absolute lengend) or Prince. Get some more attacking power in there because Japan isn't a team that will go down quietly, just likely they showed today.

BRA vs. CHN

Marta magic baby! The link up between Marta and Debinha, and just everyone on this team is so inspirational to watch. I honestly would LOVE to see them pull through and win this whole thing because no one deserves an Olympic Gold than Marta and Formiga. Their retirement is going to be the most emotional moment in women's football, even more than when Abby and Christie retired, tbh. China has some moments, but again, Brazil brings so much experience. I don't know how deep they can run into this tournament given how old their best players are, but they'll give it everything, no doubt. I want them to make it to the final rounds, or at least for the Bronze medal match, because the OGs deserve to go out with a medal.

ZAM vs. NED

Boy, this was an absolutely thrashing. I mean, there was absolutely no mercy by the Netherlands, but major kudos to the Zambia team for fighting hard to make that GD 7 instead of 10. They managed to score on a very good keeper and cut through a solid defense, even if they got blown out of the water. The drive was unreal and massive props to them for fighting to the last second. The Netherlands proved in this match why they were the 2019 finalists, and honestly, I'd be surprised if they're not back in the finals again this year. They're strong, meticulous, lethal on the attack, and defend very well. Not to mention they have a great blend of youth and experience for depth.

AUS vs. NZL

I mean, I hate to say it, but I don't see either of these teams going too far in this tournament. They both are big bodied, rough and tumble teams, but I honestly think it's a bit of a disadvantage than an advantage. NZL has never been particularly good, but kudos to them for clawing back and not getting shut out. On paper, the Matildas should have a great chance of going far, but I don't know if they can given who else is in their group. Maybe they can be in the top third? I still don't see it as likely, but no way is NZL going anywhere further.

SWE vs. USA

The match of the hour, huh! I mean, are any of use actually surprised at this result? The USWNT have been playing lower tiered teams and NOT blowing them out for the past year. Vlakto has made decisions to bring on older veteran players and barely healthy players like Jill did in 2016, except with a slightly weaker/disjointed defense. Look, I won't hide my inner glee at the karma inflicted by the soccer gods on this "the Olympics should be easy" USWNT team, but I'm gleeful. The revenge story fell flat and they showed themselves to be unable to make changes on a dime or adjust to the context. The ball to the face from Tobin's own kick was an accurate summation of the match. Now look, the USWNT will most likely bounce back and they'll probably at least make it to the semi-finals if not the finals. But, given the performance of Sweden, the Netherlands, and even Brazil, I'm not sure how they can withstand the firepower and strength of these teams when they've not played higher-calibre teams in a long time. Sweden put on a clinic with how organized, level-headed, and clean they were with their efficiency. The absolute dedication to pushing and attacking and defending and knowing their roles was outstanding and an absolute joy to watch. I felt happy for them and I believe that the USWNT are going to need a lot more than a redemption arc to get far in this tournament, but still, I think they should be okay so long as they don't rack up injuries or get gassed. Alyssa Naeher is the only reason they didn't get blown out, tbh. She is a star on the USWNT even if she's subpar in her club performance. She thrives at the international level and is so, so good and clutch.

Now, to answer your question about Ash/AK, no I don't think them being on the roster would change anything. Ash would never see a start even if she's a better club player than Alyssa, and tbh, she wouldn't make a difference here. Alyssa did a really great job and she definitely still is the #1 USWNT keeper even with the three goals conceded this match. Ash is great in clutch moments, but she has no big tournament experience so it's hard to tell if she could thrive under the pressure (I think she'd be fine, but there's no real evidence to back that claim since she has never played in a big tournament). AK might have added some leadership/consistency to the backline, but again, she didn't have a great performance in her last camp and her club performances have been rather inconsistent, even if they're still good. I don't think she should've made the cut or been on the roster.

The only person that should've been on the roster, in my opinion, but wasn't is Midge. She has proven time and time again she can play at any position and is versatile, strong, tough, and fast. She should've been the alternate over either Kruger or Lynn any day of the week. It will be interesting going forward how Vlatko rotates his players or if he will play the same Starting XI against a weaker NZL team. If everyone starts and subs, I worry about depth and conditioning especially for the older vets like Pinoe, Becky, and Llyod.

[gra-sonas]

The thing is: what does ride mean in this context? A ride usually has a beginning and an end. What is the end point of this particular ride tho?

Carina’s said she has plans/ideas for up to 5 seasons of RNM. Is the ride for Malex one that starts with the kiss in 1x01 (thanks for fighting for that btw, it’s much appreciated!) and ends with them finally getting together ‘for good’ in the final ever RNM episode?

Because that’s what many Malex fans worry about (and rightfully so, most TV shows work like that - especially on The CW - an endless stream of will-they-won’t-they with a tacked on HEA in the last minute 😒🙄).

Many of us worry we’re asked to sign up for a ride that will drag things out until the very last moment, a ride that will make us sit through various ‘romantic’ detours and roadblocks on the way to their happiness but will never allow us to see them be together.

It makes sense that movies end with the HEA moment that leaves viewers satisfied. A TV show is a completely different format tho. A movie’s told in 90-120 minutes, if RNM runs for 5 seasons à 13 episodes (one episode being 42 minutes), that’s 2,730 minutes (45.5 hours). Much more time that can be spent on characters and stories. Enough time to tell the story of Malex in a relationship for more than one episode.

This tweet is one I think about a lot. Ngl, it makes me worry and very hesitant to sign up for Malex’s ride with confidence. I would never expect them to get together and then be deliriously happy from there on out. That’s unrealistic given the setting and context of the show. Getting together is one thing, being together is the real challenge here. But it’s the challenge I want the writers to tackle. Both men come with so much trauma, there’s so much history (good and bad) between them, there’s old habits, outside threats and whatnot.

Malex being together wouldn’t suddenly turn their story into a fluffy coffee shop AU. We have fics for fluffy coffee shop AUs. What many of us are asking for is to see a mature relationship between two men who’ve been through a lot played out on screen. We’re asking to see two men dealing with trauma while also trying to build a life together despite of what they’ve been through. Because cosmic love alone is not enough for a functioning relationship. Oh, and all that while they’re dealing with alien related threats etc.

Again, most Malex fans don’t ask for them to get together right away. We’re asking for them to get together in the foreseeable future of the show and then be together. On the show. For more than one episode. Without further breakups, love triangles and random love interests thrown in their way. That’s the kind of representation fans crave.

And while dangling a potential Malex relationship in front of us for 5 seasons and giving them some kind of HEA in the last episode would certainly be a ride, that’s the kind of ride I would give a hard pass right now, if I knew that’s where we’re headed. Regardless of how much I love Alex and Michael, I can’t handle another show where things are dragged out until the last moment.

I just really hope that that’s not what Carina has in mind for them (and us). 😔

[bangtanfancamp]

✨This or That!✨

Hello loves, I was tagged literal ages ago by @curly-bangtan (who is such a sweet human btw! Thank you for the tag :’) it’s impossibly sweet of you) and am in the backseat while road trippin so I’ve finally got some free time to fill this out! I’m so excited !! I love these things !so without further ado🙃 Lessss gooooo

• slow burn or love at first sight

I guess to clarify, I love an instant spark of attraction and a long treacherous road to resolution- while also being painfully obvious that there is attraction and also while being overtly flirty but no one has the emotional motor skills to just be upfront about it already

•fake dating or secret dating

Oh, 1,000,000% fake dating. It is one of the single greatest regrets of my life that no one has ever asked me to be their fake date or gf. Because I would have been F A N T A S T I C at it. But I guess I’ll never get to live out that pretend to real slowburn in real life after all.... also, secret dating can feel really sucky and isolating so I don’t recommend.

•enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers

Oh god, must I really pick between my children? My whole life it was best friends to lovers. Now that I am currently dating the guy who was my best friend, I really melt over the fiery tension of enemies to lovers ... GOD! it’s so satisfying!!! But I think best friends to lovers still has to squeak by just by an ounce. (I’m a softy at heart, what can I say?)

•oh no! There’s only one bed or long distance with correspondence

Oh far and away, the one bed trope! No contest. I also deeply regret that I haven’t figured out how to make myself attractive enough for someone to try to pull this one over on me. *sigh* well, what can you do? .... also, did a long distance relationship for...6.5 years? And yeah, if you’re a romantic like me- it is dreadfully unfulfilling, let me tell you.

•Hurt/comfort or Amnesia

Mother freaking amnesia A L W A Y S !!! Heck yes! Are there amnesia fics??? 🤭I’ve never found one! But I absolutely love this trope in stories and movies. One of my all time favorites- which AGAIN- has not had the decency to actually come to fulfillment in my real life: Like why has park Jimin never showed up spontaneously at one of my doctors appointments trying to convince me that we’ve been best friends who were secretly in love with other since we were 14 and we finally just got engaged or married a month ago and his life is incomplete without me but he’ll patiently wait for me to love him in return again in my own time but in the meantime, he’ll love me in any and every little way he can until I fall for him again? Huh? Where is it! .... was that too specific😅?

•Fantasy au or modern au

no contest. Give me medieval maidens and dragons any day. I live in modern day. Lemme tell you- she ain’t that special.

•mutual pining or domestic bliss

cue Schmidt from new girl-“I can do this AWL day, son- AWLLL DAY!!” Yessssss!!! Mutual pining is my crack! Give it to me! Always! Gimme it! (Why can’t I have the things that I want!) okay this is just a Schmidt quote/rant post now. ..... I really want to love domestic bliss. And some of the writers who are excellent at it absolutely take my breath away at how beautifully they romanticize the every day. But outside of their writing, I have no scope of how to conjure that wonder up on my own. It is a skill I deeply lack. In real life, I just wind up feeling like the bliss is boring- gimme some pining! Some angst! Some tension!!! Even if I do love me some fluff. Someone once I told me that I was in love with the idea of someone being in love with me. Gotta say, he’s not wrong.

•canon compliant or fix it fic

Honestly, I can’t say I’ve read very many of either. But I do like to see how people flex their creativity.

•alternate universe or future fic

My favorite tv show of all time is Fringe (god bless you, JJ Abrams). Your girl LOVES alternate timelines, multiple universes, flashpoint, paradox, butterfly/ripple effect- all of it!! Dear god, yes! Give it to me! (Also, every time I have a crush or dream that doesn’t work out, I comfort myself with the thought that somewhere out there, there’s an alternate timeline version of me that is happily existing with said boy or flourishing in said dream endeavor. It’s a tremendous source of comfort).

Although, I must say, in the comic realm, alternate universes can sometimes frustrate me- like genuinely, could we not just make the alpha timeline the most incredible one? Instead of the best relationships and plot threads never being actual canon?! Can we get it together??? Or are alternate timelines just the comic industry’s way of writing their own fix it fics, generations after the original protagonist has been painted into a corner. Also, how hard must that be? To write endlessly for the same character for 60+ years? We write one fic or a couple books for the same character... could you IMAGINE having to supply 60 years worth of consistent weekly or monthly context!!! Wild

•one shot or multi chapter

I prefer multi chapter because I prefer getting engrossed in an entire work/world. Usually I am left wanting with a well written one shot, because they’ve made it so real that I can’t stand not having more- so my greedy butt loves the feast of multi chapter so I can have as many delicious moments and details with these characters as possible.

I do however deeply admire the skill and brevity it takes to made a succinct one shot. @underthejoon and @kpopfanfictrash are both brilliant as heck at that. And it is admirable as all get out.

•kid fic or road trip fic

honestly, considering how much I swoon over men who are good with children in real life, and how much I look forward to being both pregnant and a mom one day, I really never get into kid or pregnancy fics. I just don’t? Don’t know why. But a road trip!???? Oh heck yes!!! 👏🏽Where 👏🏽do 👏🏽I 👏🏽sign 👏🏽up!!???👏🏽

•reincarnation or character death

Oh absolutely reincarnation. I love that. I blame sailor moon for that.....But also, I think it’s just very in line with my love of alternate universes and timelines. I love how everything is connected/weaves together and feels predestined in the best way. I’m a complete sucker for it

•arranged marriage or accidental marriage

Like @curly-bangtan I legit had no clue accidental marriage was a thing? Unless you count being drunk at Vegas and waking up with a ring or we’re on some Jacob and Leah/Rachel level ish (which is really and truly the WILDEST™️ story ever ya’ll) ..... but I love a good arranged marriage scenario. The tension/push pull and inevitable relenting is so fun. But will say though, why the heck do women always fight it? Like there’s literally a whole Kim taehyung or Kim Namjoon offering to voluntarily love you and you wanna whine about it???!?! How dare you

•high school romance or Middle Aged romance

This, again, one is a pretty firm, resolute one for me. I’ll take high school. I’ve always felt a little oddly uncomfortable with more mature™️ romance stories? Not sure why. But I think the really beautiful ones always hark back to the beauty of their feelings being refreshing like the innocence of their first love. I know I personally can over glorify youth, but I love coming of age romance (high school, college, twenties) and no one can stop me!!!! I will say though, I have a secret soft spot for the niche of story where people have loved the same person since they were young and the timing just never works out but they finally find each other when they’re older. (One day is like that, and film or movie, it will absolutely rip your heart out-my god, it’s beautiful)

•Time travel or isolated together

These are both freaking AMAZING! But if anything has been established in this post, I think it’s my deep love of alternate timeline/reincarnation/time travel stories. I think they’re all from the same cloth. I adore them (I just haven’t written one because I’m not sure I could do the subtlety of it any justice.) maybe one day. My favorite writers are rumored to have the same Myers’s Briggs type as me so maybe I too could someday have a fraction of their world building skill.

I 100% love both of these so neither is a loser. But give me isolated together AND one bed in the same fic???? Speakers blown

•neighbors or roommates

I have never had the pleasure of having an attractive neighbor, though I often pined for it. (I have a bomb idea for a neighbor Hobi fic though) I did have a cute neighborhood boy who occasionally cut the grass for us in high school. But that doesn’t really count.... anyway! I LOVE the idea of being roommates with an attractive boy!!! Like holy guac, can I please????? Cocktailing this trope makes me swoon harder than none other- best friends to lovers + roommates? Yes. Enemies to lovers + roommates? Holy heck. Soulmate au + roomates???? Hold my sweet tea. MUTUAL PINING AND ROOMATES!!!! Pregnant. Fantasy/magic au+ mutual pining + best friends to lovers + soulmate au + reincarnation + roommate au!?!?!?!! frickin dead in the streets, homie.

I cannot say enough how much I enjoy roomate au. In a serious conversation, I once legitimately told my current boyfriend that the idea of marriage freaks me out- but the idea of being best friend roomates with sexual tension sounds like a dream come true. God help me.

•sci fi or magic au

I love sci fi. Deeply. But I will never love logic more than magic. Ever. (All my infp’s! come join me in the comments. 🙈)

•body swap or gender bend

Body swap has always deeply intrigued me. Especially in film. But I’ve never seen it in a fic. I’ve always wanted somebody to be able to switch into my body to feel physically, mentally and emotionally like i do. The deepest level of empathy & jean grey telepathy if you ask me, even if the trope is generally used for comedy. But the idea of switching into a dudes body and having to deal with their anatomy low key freaks me the eff out. If I got stuck in jungkooks body, I don’t think I’d pee or shower for a week 🙈 sorry everybody. I was really sheltered ok? Please don’t come for me. Lol...... also, have never seen a gender bend fic. Not sure how that would work. Not my favorite idea.

•angst or crack

Angst is my crack.

Honestly though, if it’s well written, it doesn’t feel ‘angsty’- cuz that means whiny or clunky to me. Well written ‘angst’ just feels emotionally compelling, I think. My writing weirdly leans toward what I hope is real angst (I e solid, genuine conflict and not petulance), but when I seek out a read, I look for crack honestly.

• apocalyptic or mundane

I offer you one better- a love story of the beauty of the mundane amidst the apocalyptic.

*mic drop*

Seriously though, the setting provides enough tension usually. Especially if it’s zombie apocalyptic. Just let jungkook’s fingers delicately trace my palm and smile, sweet and lopsided at me in the candle light, while we hide away in our little bomb shelter that I’ve turned into a jungle garden to bring life into this wasteland a la secret life of arrietty. sigh. Maybe I need to write this....

My gosh!!! We made it to the end! That was so much fun! Thank you for tagging me, sweetness!💕✨ 🙂

I’ll add a tag list shortly- @laurelevermore @lamourche @bts-fantasy @urlocalkpoptrash @thedreaming-poet @kimcheeeeeeeeee @hayjeon @outrotearot7 @lorengarcia-yut @bts-luvvv @chicpalestinian @flyingchixenwing @glodenclosetau @space-mermaid-in-love @thiccasswonhoruinedmylife @minminslittlemonster

Copy and paste if you can. Or if you’re dealing with a piece of technological antiquity like me and it won’t let you, then screen record/screenshot it and pop back and forth between the tabs 😅(also Thanks for dealing with the completely unnecessary treatise I added beneath every bullet point. It was just so much for fun to explain WHY I chose each one than to just say yes/no. I’ve said it before, written brevity is just not my strong suit.)

[princessamericachavez]

Since we have a week off, is there a chance you could do a top 10 Fjorester moments so far?

OH HEY THIS SOUNDS LIKE FUN YES LET’S DO IT

10. “Did you just say I’ve been with your mom?!”

This whole sequence is hilarious. Jester is clearly annoyed that this woman is hitting on Fjord (as he tries to hire company for Kiri iirc) and tries to use her mom as leverage which clearly doesn’t work but...

what really gets me is how appalled Fjord sounds. It’s not “The Ruby of the Seas” it’s not “a famous courtesan” it’s not “a big score for a sailor like me” nope nope in his head this is “Jester’s mom” and given the flirty nature of their relationship he’s clearly Not Happy with the suggestion and Idk why but the way his voice becomes high-pitched with panic is just amazing and it was one of the first moments when my brain went PING he has a crush PING

9. Turning into water

Objectively, everything about that scene was hilarious. Fjord’s tired sigh, “nope, but thank you for that terrifying thought” was so funny and bantery... but what really gets me about this scene is how honestly worried about him Jester is at the beginning, just as he wakes up, and how later she tries to lighten the air between them with a joke...

And you can tell that it works because, despite Fjord’s initial discomfort, he turns it around and he gives her a wink and a smooth line and Jester just MELTS and it really just encapsulates so much about their friendship and dynamic and this was like episode 4 or smth

8. Post-Plank King talk

So this scene is pretty good already as a vulnerable and honest talk between them but also I like it for a few particular reasons. Firstly, the context. During the pirate arc, Fjord and Jester had some issues mostly because of Avantika, and Jester was starting to second-guess just how well she knew Fjord and he was pulling back from everyone under the pressures of leading... so to see her seek him out and just ask if he’s okay and how he is feeling was a wonderful thing for both of them. Also, I love how Fjord chose to open up to her about his conflicted feelings towards Vandran and how the whole thing hurt him. It’s just SO RARE to see him be this honest about his insecurities, and it really goes to show how much he trusts Jester. I also like that she mentions the accent thing. For us, as an audience, it’s pretty indicative that the person Jester thought she knew, actually is the real Fjord. That she has known him the best from the start and kept his secrets for him because they trust each other so much.

I also love the ending so so so much? Jester mentioning his growing tusks was such a soft little thing, and Fjord in turn acknowledging how much she supports him and thanking her for keeping his secrets was so sweet.

Plus, how to forget that perfect romcom ending where they both awkwardly pretend they have something else to do? PEAK SLOW BURN ROMANCE I TELL YOU.

7. Wursh

So this is two separate things, technically. First, their first meeting and Jester obviously noticing Fjord’s discomfort and insecurities and rushing to try to cheer him up after the talk. Jester is super perceptive, and she knows Fjord better than anyone, so I really appreciate that she didn’t just notice, she went out of her way to try to address it with him.

Also, though, the second time when she low-key threatens Wursh and makes sure he’s being nice to Fjord feels my heart with joy. Anyone who thinks Jester’s feelings for Fjord are shallow or performative is missing the point that she’s doing these things in private. He has no idea. She’s doing this out of love and selflessness, just checking in on him and making sure that he’s not going to be hurt by anyone else. And the way she TALKS about him, how gentle she sounds when talking about his insecurities and how she tells wursh that she knows he has a good heart I just- dfljañdlfja

6. Meeting the Ruby

I love so many things about this meeting omg. Firstly, that after watching Marion Lavorre aka the most famed and hot and expensive performer and courtesan in the Coast —at least— Fjord’s first reaction is “Hey, Jester, would you like to do that?” Like he has full faith she totally could do that and even when she voices certain self-doubts and Beau reassures her that she’s pretty and graceful, his contribution is “your singing voice is nice” as if the only thing that could stop Jester from reaching those heights was singing because she’s beautiful to his eyes.

Further proof? This boy, meeting the Ruby of the Seas, again, most beautiful and sensual woman, and his reaction is “I see where Jester got her good looks from” like, damn son, slow down! And Marion, bless her, all flirty but also perceptive being like “i can see you care about my daughter, do you watch over her?” and nearly making him break down right there, like Marion is part of the We Been Knew club.

And AFTER though, Fjord who has all this issues with family and who longs to find them but also dreads it, watching Jester (right after Caleb pointed out that her cheerfulness is an act) and making a point to ASK if she’s okay, “how are you feeling? do you want to have a drink? a walk? a talk?” this boy always going out of his way to make sure she feels okay and making sure they fix whatever is troubling her it’s just peak soft

5.The Tree Dive

Okay so what can I say about this that i haven’t yelled about yet? Travis “No Romance” Willingham giving ups PEAK ROMCOM DRAMATIC MOMENTS that take our breath away? Check. Fjord who just recently had an epiphany as to HOW MUCH Jester means to him and how her unwavering support is the one thing he can lean on, freaking LEAPING after her when she falls off the tree? The fact that there were ZERO seconds of hesitation between her falling and his jump? Feather fall giving them one quiet floaty yaoi moment where they hold hand and look at each other right before he booms them back up? How about Jester’s shocked and scared “Fjord, you-“ once they are back up, like she just CAN’T BELIEVE what he did for her?? AND THEN THE BOY USES HIS LAST SPELLSLOT JUST TO GIVE HER A BOOST WHEN SHE STARTS TO PANIC?!

IT’S FINE IT’S FINE I DIDN’T NEED MY HEART ANYWAY

4. The Second Temple

This one is, like, especially interesting when you consider the context, right? Like, it’s right after the blue dragon fight and Fjord just spent the whole past day trying to patch things up with Jester while she pulls away… and then they are here and he’s ready to go through with this and Jester is just SO SCARED FOR HIM. She doesn’t want to leave him behind, and he KNOWS that.

The way she just sits down to talk to her god, her best friend in the world, and ask him to look after him for her just MELTS MY HEART. And you can see it melts Fjord’s too. I mean, here is a boy who grew up all alone, with no one to help him or stand up for him, who deeply believes that no one in the world would possibly care about his problems, and then there’s this girl who is so worried about him, literally praying for him. And like, just the moment when he sits next to her and he’s so soft and touched by her worry. “Jester, it’s alright. You don’t have to tell me. I appreciate the sentiment.” THIS IS PRETTY MUCH A STAR WARS CLASSIC “I KNOW” OKAY??’  and her quiet “i really hope he does help you” “me too”

*banging pots and pans* TRAVELER SHOW TF UP FOR YOUR GIRL AND HELP FJORD OKAY WILD MAMA BEAT U TO IT BUT YOU GOTTA STEP UP

And the last part is just so cute, like, “just, don’t turn evil to me?” “Or anyone else? just you” listen listen listen if we ever talk dark au’s this is basically the foundation, “fuck the world but i can’t lose you”

3. Tusk Talk

There’s so much to appreciate about this talk, especially with Fjord being so open and vulnerable about his past, but I’m super soft about how Jester chooses to reassure him. “I think you would look good either way, Fjord” because she likes him and not just about his body, it’s about who he IS. And you can tell how much her opinion matters to him by the way he hyper focus on Jester after that comment. Everyone else keeps talking and he’s just like “you’re saying I should grow them back?” and she just reassures him again that it doesn’t matter to her.

And he does something that is still so impactful to the narrative about 50 episodes later: he gives her control, he trusts her enough to overwatch him getting over his worst childhood trauma, and in that moment he makes himself vulnerable in a way he never has before. And she takes that trust and honors it, and she comments on his tusks now and then, she makes them a mark of pride in her tattoos, she reassures him whenever those insecurities resurface. It’s such a meaningful thing that he has chosen to share with her, I don’t think I’ll ever be over it.

2. Underwater Kiss

Again, what can I say that I haven’t yelled about before? Fjord, who just tried to drown Avantika btw, sees Jester drowning right before of him and this protective self-sacrificial boy just grabs her by the face and KISSES HER. Travis used those words exactly, hell he specifically referenced The Shape of Water. And then he gives her all of his air. HE JUST DOES THAT.

He could’ve done so many other things?! Taken the key from her? Pulled her to the entrance with his double swimming speed? AND INSTEAD HE DID THAT

AND THEY HAVEN’T FREAKING TALKED ABOUT IT

ALSO JESTER’S FIRST KISS??? AND HOW JUST ROMANTIC AND AESTHETIC AND EXCITING IT IS?

when i tell you my heart can’t take it

1. Jellyfish Talk

Of course, of course, this is the TOP Forester moment. I mean. How could it not be? The romantic light, the heart to heart, Jester first and foremost checking on how Fjord is feeling with his mission and then carefully bringing up her negative feelings, for the first time, willingly, because she trusts him so much. And Fjord, who just had Caleb open his eyes about Jester hiding her emotions, being so tentative around her, so careful. Fjord being vulnerable too, opening up about his own negative emotions, give and take, so that she will feel better opening up. Fjord being so soft and reassuring for her, coming up with crazy plans to make her laugh and cheer her up. THE SOFTNESS with which he says “Don’t be sad. Your mama is pretty proud of you, that much is clear.” He’s so gentleeeee

And listen listen listen this moment is also key because of how much it affected what came next. Like, Avantika comes and muddles everything up, but this talk lingers between them as a moment of sincerity before all the lies, and then, as soon as they move on from this hell, Fjord’s main priority is getting Jester back to her mom, making sure Jester is okay, trying to return to that point. It takes them a while, of course, but you can tell this moment is a strong foundation for them to find their way back to each other.

Because in this moment, in the ship surrounded by beauty, they saw each other without masks.

[flyswhumpcenter]

Bad Things Happen Bingo! The event where you send me requests according to this marvelous card! (Red cross is the completed prompt, character headshots are prompts I’ve already filled.)

"It's an enticing nectar, laced with deceits, Piercing straight through my heart-- ARROW" -ARROW, English translation

God, it's already my 2nd-to-last square to write for? That's kinda sad... It's been a hot, what, 6 months since I've written some TC? Truth be told, I was planning on filling "Sleep Deprivation" with Derek, but then a request came along... I still plan on finishing the WIP I have lying around for it because it was really fun to throw that on a Word file. Also are y'all ready for Uncle Fly's wacky nervous angsty wild ride because I guess this is set in an AU-ish timeline where PGS was found much earlier than 2021. This is kinda meant to be set in 2020 because why not, but the one mention of the date would rather remind you of 2019. Let's just say Derek is like your truly's and born at the end of the year. Anyway! The people in the TC server were really excited for this one so I hope I won't disappoint them. I tried some new and experimental things there so I hope it won't be too distracting or too much italics. Btw, can we bring the TC fandom back to life for 2020? It's the 15th anniversary of the franchise and the year Trauma Team happens in!

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Arrow to the Heart

Summary: GUILT getting eradicated didn't mean the staff of Caduceus USA were allowed to roam around freely without risking their lives every minute. Angie, Derek and Leslie all saw that through a different lense, caught between the memories of a dire crisis for Caduceus Europe and the drops spilled all over the operation table.

Fandom: Trauma Center Relationships: Pre-rel Derek/Angie, platonic Angie & Leslie, some focus on platonic Tyler & Derek

Wordcount: 5K words

Event hosted by @badthingshappenbingo​

AO3 version available here.

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As a blurry ceiling appears before her, a soft, familiar voice makes itself heard.

“Angie?”

Tilting her head to the right, struck with a terrible case of lethargy, her vision finally focuses: it’s her friend and workmate, hovering over her. She has a concerned expression on her face and a notepad in her hands, clutched against her chest.

“L-Leslie…?”

 As her eyes finish focusing, she realizes she knows this place: it’s a room at Caduceus. Why she’s there is vague at best and undecipherable at worst, but her throat is hoarse and she doesn’t feel like asking questions. She can only guess she still has some anaesthetic running in her system, considering the dull pain she has on her chest and shoulder.

“Yeah, that’s me, good deduction,” she says with a soft giggle. “How are you doing?”

“I’m… alive, I suppose…”

“You can thank Derek for that. He’s stabilized you before you’ve arrived there. I don’t know how he managed to pull that out, but I guess that’s what surgeons like him can do.”

Oh, right. She kind of remembers something now…

 Turns out it was all a trap.

 Well, of course it was. Now that he thought about it, something really wasn’t right with how they even got there. They got called for a situation eerily similar to a possible GUILT case, assuming the patient could have contracted PGS due to the former being extinct for the past two years of so. The condition of said patient was declining by the second, so they were rushed together to the scene.

If he went in like it was business as usual, Angie had picked on the negative vibes she was getting from it all, urging him to go slower and be more cautious. Dumb and naïve as he still kind of was, he preferred running around the place, wondering where the patient could be. As he called for one, absolutely divulging they were from Caduceus (with Angie not-so-silently trying to remind him not to do that and exert caution), the only thing he found was sudden, piercing, burning pain.

 “Wait… I… What happened…?”

“We wanted to ask you that,” Leslie replies in a more solemn tone. “From what little we could gather, Derek and you got shot when going for an on-field surgery.

“Ah, I… I do remember that… Turned out that…”

Turns out there had never been any patient, just a Delphi renegade, armed with a gun, few bullets and quite literally nothing left after escaping confinement from the rest of society.

“Do you remember anything else?”

Angie’s memories swim for a moment, trying to gather and brace themselves. Drop by drop, tear by tear, wave by wave, it comes back to her, slowly, surely. She clears her throat.

 Before he ran out of bullets, the renegade cowered away, leaving them with nothing but contemplating their own injuries. Hiding behind the wall of a little street, not too far from the stench of the almost-full trash bins and surrounded by heavy almost-silence, they were finally safe enough to open a light. To his displeasure, as soon as he tried to see whatever’s surrounding them, he spotted two things he didn’t like in the slightest: their surgery kit on the ground, half open, and a panting Angie next to the slightly scattered tools.

The first thing he noticed were the two bullet holes she had in her left shoulder and the right side of her abdomen. Fortunately, they didn’t seem to have hurt a lot of vital components and didn’t delve too deep into her flesh. Still, if he didn’t do anything, even with help coming their way eventually, she’d die on them; and he didn’t plan on letting that course of events happen. Not on his watch, never.

He sent a distress signal from his phone to Caduceus, then turned back to her, already grabbing the gloves and antibacterial gel from the case.

 “I see…” Leslie seems conflicted, to say the least. “At least, you got out alive of this terrible situation. We even expect you to make a quick recovery!”

“My wounds aren’t too bad, then?” Her voice was starting to win over the sleeping gas. Good.

“No! Again, they’d have been worse if Derek hadn’t stabilized you on the scene, but your wounds really aren’t bad. That man must have been a lousy shooter.”

“R-right… Derek tried to…”

 “Angie? You’re still with me?” He asked, trying to get her to stir back to consciousness.

Dishevelled strands of hair move with her quick, shallow breathing. She was obviously suffering, but nodded anyway, the blood already pouring from the wound and staining her pink uniform.

“Okay good… I… I can’t afford to anesthetize you, right now, so… I’m really sorry for what’s gonna happen!”

Her face slowly distorted even further.

“Y… You’re not gonna do that, right, Derek…?” She had an awkward, pained smile full of disbelief on her face.

“If I don’t, you may… You may not make it!”

She shut her eyes close for a few moments, then sighed heavily, slowly. He expected a rebuttal of some sorts, despite how much blood was spilling from the bullet holes, but she instead smiled and gazed at him with drooping eyes.

“…Then, let’s start the operation, Doctor.”

“I’ll try making it as painless as possible,” he repeated to both her and himself. “I won’t let you down, Angie.”

 Leslie’s lips were sewn shut by her retelling of their conversation in the little alleyway.

“To be honest with you… His job was sloppy. The bandages he put on your injuries weren’t straight. Of course, usually, we’d have had a conversation with him about that, but…”

“But?”

“Because of the circumstances, I don’t think we’re allowed to be any harsh on him for rubbing antibiotic gel improperly.”

“Oh God.”

“What’s wrong, Angie?”

“I remember that now. Vaguely, but… I remember.”

 The pain in his chest was excruciating, but that was besides the point. Angie needed him, right at that moment, to be strong and do his job. He had become a surgeon to save lives and what was a surgeon if he couldn’t do so for his assistant, his most trusted friend and ally? Besides, he needed to repay her for the time she helped Naomi save him from the demons trying to tear his heart apart. With blurring vision and trembling hands, he’d do his job, fulfil his mission. Even if it were to be its last, he’d successfully conduct this operation.

It wasn’t like he was the only one in pain either. Angie’s usually soft features were distorted by the suffering he was inflecting upon her by not being able to anesthetize her. Still, as much as he desired Cybil would be there by their side to allow for such a thing, she wasn’t there with us; so it was all on him, with the little he had at his disposal to deal with this.

 “I kept passing out and waking up, only to lose consciousness again. It was… terrifying. I thought we’d both die here and there, again and again.”

“When we found the both of you, you were barely conscious and your dress was half-zipped. Derek lost consciousness before he could finish dressing you back up.”

God, she must have been out of it for her not have been embarrassed to be so exposed in such a creepy context. The circumstances are all to blame on that one.

“…How is he, then?”

Leslie goes silent.

“How’s Derek?” Angie repeats, impatience and fear building in her throat.

The silence gets heavier. And heavier. And heavier.

 The scene was grizzly to say the least. He had dropped blood everywhere his hands had gone for the past minutes. Angie’s vitals weren’t smiling in the slightest, her moments of consciousness getting shorter and shorter each time she couldn’t tolerate what he was pulling her through. It was for her good, only for her survival chances not to plummet to the ground.

He was getting there too: he had removed the bullet in her abdomen and patched that up with some membranes they miraculously had packed in (which, considering they had suspected PGS, didn’t make a lot of sense; but Angie still put them in just in case they’d face Deftera or Tetarti). He was on his way to removing the second one, even if his hands weren’t steady anymore and his vision was turning into a guessing game if he didn’t spend a few long seconds focusing on one object. Still, adrenaline was keeping him running, anxiety and fear of death ringing behind his eyes and in all of his nerves, so he’d manage.

Not like he had a choice anyway.

 “…He’s not woken up yet,” Leslie finally says with a heavy sigh and her hands twitching right under Angie’s gaze. “Tyler was supposed to operate on him, but he broke down when realizing how bad the damage was.”

 Leslie was tenser than ever as she presided to the pre-operation conference with Tyler and Sidney. The nervous glance the former was darting towards the latter just showed he knew how wrong the situation was before she could even speak up about it. She had always hated being a bird of bad news; this wouldn’t change today.

“The patient is a twenty-seven-year old man who got shot twice in the abdomen. The bullets don’t seem to have hit anything major, only grazed them. The few things we need to be wary about are the high risk of internal and external haemorrhage, along with the possibility of him being afflicted with PGS happening as the patient previously contracted GUILT, these being Kyriaki and—”

“The fuck is that, Les’?!”

 Tyler’s voice was oddly serious. The death stare he gave her made her legs shake and her arms shiver further than they had done when she had first learnt of the situation.

“W-what do you mean?”

“The patient’s name! It’s… It’s some kind of sick joke, right?! That has to be!”

“There are no “jokes” of any kind here, Dr Chase,” Sidney intervened. “If we don’t operate immediately, he’ll die. Get ready right now.”

“…Of course, Director.”

 “So… Then… is Derek…?”

Her colleague takes time to find a way to answer. Her chest seems to weigh like lead threatening to snap the rope keeping it standing. During their few years working at the same place against the same threats, she doesn’t remember having seen Leslie this stressed, this anxious about anything, especially not when the life of someone they both knew was the matter. Then again, Angie wasn’t in the USA, when Caduceus Europe had to break terrible news to their American counterpart. She was right there, in the middle of the panic and the tears she didn’t want to spill. And even then, even when remembering how nauseous she’d get just thinking about what could be happening to him, what could happen would Naomi be unable to save the day —

Even with all of this considered, right at that moment, Angie feels like she’s just opened Pandora’s Box.

 Tyler had tears flowing down his face, hands trembling, as he painfully removed the second bullet. It was the first time she had ever seen him in such a state, at least, the first time since Amy had gotten saved by, well… the very man they were currently trying to save, whose vitals kept trying to plummet to the ground as they watched the blood they were transfusing into his veins pour right out of the wounds. The syringe he was holding with unstable fingers had just hit the ground, breaking in a thousand shards and splattering some stabilizer around the crash site.

“What’s wrong?” She asked. Not that she didn’t have her own idea as to what was going so awfully incorrectly at the moment, but she was still surprised by how distressed Tyler was. For such a naturally talented surgeon to panic this way…

“I-I don’t know!!” He screamed, breathing hitching, hands crimson. I just… I just…”

 Before he could put an end to his stuttering, a new party entered the room, dressed in scrubs and already grabbing the forceps on the surgical tool tray.

“Step aside and calm yourself down, Dr Chase. I’ll take care of it.”

He gulped, but nonetheless, Tyler stepped back from the operation table, right as she moved to dry his tears with a tissue.

“I’m sorry, Doctor, I don’t know…”

“Enough, we’re running out of time. Please monitor the vitals for me, that’s all I ask.”

“Will do, Doctor.”

“Leslie, get a syringe of stabilizer ready”.

“On it, Doctor.”

 Dr Hoffman’s arrival changed the air in the OR from desperate to tense and solemn. There simply was the feeling he’d manage to pull a miracle like Derek had done so before their eyes before. In a heavy and serious tone, one that didn’t betray any panic whatsoever, he ended the conversation:

“Let’s save him, once and for all. Failure isn’t an option.”

 “If it wasn’t for Dr Hoffman stepping in, we’d have lost Derek. I honestly never saw Tyler gets this wound up by anything in the OR like that before…”

“That must have been terrifying to see…”

“And it was! We went over it after the operation was over, and he confessed to me he couldn’t seeing him that way. Makes me wonder how you pulled through him getting infected with GUILT…”

 Sidney suddenly entered the room, almost as suddenly as everyone was convoked here, his workplace phone in hand, eyes sombre behind his glasses reflecting part of the neon lights of their lounge. It had been a slow day until now as the GUILT epidemic had been mostly subdued, leaving them with the wiggle room and luxury to wait for a patient to come in; even if that didn’t make any of them think any less of how odd it was for them to be called here so brutally. Still, from the corner of her eye, Leslie noticed something else that was weird: Victor was there too.

Victor, who never came out of his laboratory unless forced to, was there with us, crossing his arms as he walked behind Sidney and laid back against the wall. From the gazes she exchanged with Tyler, she knew he found it suspicious too. If even Victor was there, it meant Sidney was more than deadly serious about this.

 “Is everyone here yet?”

“Victor was the last person we were waiting on,” Stephen said from behind Sidney, even if the questioning expression in his eyes and on his face indicated he must have been as clueless as they all were.

“Good,” he replied as he came closer, putting his glasses back on the bridge of his nose. “Everyone, if I have gathered you all here on such a short notice. However, what I have to tell you is too urgent not to.”

“And what’s that urgent thing?” Victor asked.

“I got a call from Caduceus Europe.”

 The sheer idea of their European counterpart contacting them now, right as they had both Derek and Angie there, and prompting Sidney to call them all in was rising all the possible red flags it could. The air got tenser with just a sentence.

“And what for?” Tyler reacted with a nervous grin on his face. “Miller can’t have possibly called you just for a hamburger recipe.”

“Would you mind taking this seriously, Dr Chase?”

“S-sure.”

“As I was saying, a few minutes ago, we got a call from Caduceus Europe. They were asking for your permission to proceed with a GUILT intervention.”

“Why didn’t they just ask Stiles to do it then?” Victor chimed in again. “He has his own agency, doesn’t he? No need to ask us all for that kind of stuff.”

“That’d be because Derek is the patient.”

The news cut through the air like a hot blade through glass.

“…You’ve got to be shittin’ us,” was all that any of them said about it, courtesy of Victor.

 “I wasn’t the one operating on him directly, that must have been how… It wasn’t any easier on the nerves, that much I can tell you…”

“I’m sure it was. We were all tense that day, too… Tyler kept asking me if he’d be fine. We really weren’t sure if Dr Kimishima could… That’s her name, right?”

“It is.”

“So, yeah, we weren’t sure at all, so we all were super stressed until Sidney told us it’d be all okay…”

 The door to their lounge opened again. As soon as it did, Tyler jumped up from the couch, Leslie following shortly after. Victor tried his hardest not to look like he was somewhat concerned. Appeared before them their director whom, by the look of the traits on his face, was less tense than he had been around thirty minutes before. God had time been slow and cruel on their hands…

“How’s Derek?!” Tyler immediately interrogated, running on legs that had previously trembled under the weight of his worries.

“He’s made it. Barely, shall I add, but he made it. The operation was a success.”

A collective sigh of relief happened as Tyler’s legs buckled up again, with Leslie barely managing to catch him before he’d have hit the floor. They didn’t lose anyone today and, in the end, that was all that mattered, right?

 “Still, with how anxious Tyler was back then, it’s no wonder why he lost his composure when it seemed like there’d be no end to it.”

Angie’s breath caught up in her throat. The painkillers had subdued enough for her consciousness to be back to its usual sharpness, even with the lingering rests of lethargy from blood loss. The IV in her wrist was just the physical manifestation of that.

“…what do you mean by that, Leslie?”

Her workmate’s shoulders tensed as she looked away, pinching her lips, before sighing.

“We…”

 “We underestimated the extent of his injuries…!” Leslie yelped as Tyler’s hands had managed to take out one of the bullets.

“J-Jesus Derek, how could you have still been conscious when there was that in your chest?!”

They both stared, dumbfounded and terrified, at the hole very much close to the heart still bleeding under their watch.

“It grazed the aorta… If it had been a little closer….”

“…he’d have been dead on arrival, yeah. Let’s… Let’s remove that bitch…”

Tyler’s voice sounded hesitant and about to let a sorrow escape.

 The operation continued on with the smell of blood and gunpowder filling the atmosphere of the room. Both were too focused and with too much pressure on their shoulders to let that hinder them in their mission, even if she could notice her surgeon’s grip getting looser by the moment.

“Vitals dropping!”

“I don’t have the time for that bullshit! Inject stabilizer yourself!!”

Without a word, Leslie did as told and grabbed the syringe.

“That… That fucker just had to use his fancy voodoo powers before passing out, didn’t he…?”

“How would you even know that…?”

A familiar beep resounded again.

“V-vitals dropping!”

“…yeah, that.”

 Still, his pupils regularly darted to the screen displaying the vitals. Sweat drops flowed profusely all over his face, more than any other person she had ever assisted before. The more tranquil aura he gave off compared to the failure-paranoid Derek was nowhere to be seen…

The forceps almost fell into the body when it slipped from his hands, the second bullet escaping his grasp and landing near the aorta yet again. Breathing quickening, almost wheezing, he fixed his mistake with a display of cracking down under the fears piling up on his mind. Tears started flowing down from his eyes as the vitals continued falling and falling, the third bullet still doing its damage…

 “Oh my God…” Angie doesn’t have the words. She really doesn’t.

“Turns… Turns out he got shot four times. Your assailant had six bullets on him and they all hit.”

“That’s…” Her throat was knotting on itself. “That’s…”

A memory suddenly hit her.

“Wait, Leslie. You mentioned Tyler supposed Derek had used his Healing Touch on me, right?”

“Yeah. I’m still sure it’s just a hunch he had, but he did. I think it’s because he panicked when realizing the vitals kept dropping further and further.”

“It’s not just that. At least, I think it isn’t… I’m certain he did use it.”

“Why would Derek even do that? He was already injured as it is, he was lucky he didn’t pass out here and there to begin with!”

“…I suspect it’s because he… knew that.”

Her colleague stood there, dumbfounded, before her eyes grew wide and she almost bit her hand in realization.

 Oh no, no, not now! It wasn’t time to pass out, not yet. Angie still needed him, he had to stay awake! Issue was, even with all the determination in the world, it seemed like he wouldn’t have the time to… That’s right! Time! He was one of the few people on Earth who could play around with its flow. All he had to do to save Angie was to draw a star and focus hard enough with what was left of his adrenaline and clarity of mind to finish the operation or, at least, what he could finish of it.

Success: time was now going at quarter of its speed. He saw everything, now: how to remove the second and last bullet, how fast he could put on the membrane and seamlessly apply it to the injured flesh with the gel, how to give Angie her dignity back now that he’d finished on her. She’d be fine, she’d be fine; he was hearing the sirens coming their way, seeing the blue lights blinking.

 However, as soon as the distortion of time started fading, he felt all of his energy crash back. The world started spinning as he finished zipping her dress close, his hand giving up halfway through as it went limp and his other was too focused on rubbing his eyes under his glasses. Something drops from his mouth yet again.

It was no use resisting. The world span and span around him, blurring into one vague landscape of blacks and blues, the sounds gathering together to form a cacophonic white noise looping in the back of his mind. With the tools falling from his hands, he all but crashed on his patient, workmate and best friend all at once, eyelids fluttering as the black spots invading his sight made themselves more and more invasive.

When time resumed its course, all Derek could sense was the darkness of his vision, the coldness of his skin and the taste of copper in his mouth.

 “I mean, I’ll believe you on that one, you know him and his process much more than I do…”

To be frank, after telling all of this to Leslie, Angie just wants to cry. This has all been a terrible, atrocious, hideous mess and she’d have liked it to remain buried inside her mind.

“He’s such an idiot…! He could’ve died, and yet…. And yet he still operated on me!”

Leslie remained silent, but gave her a candid smile and handed her a handkerchief.

“That’s Derek for you… I’ve heard he tried not to make you worried when he got infected a few months back too.”

“That… didn’t really work,” she remarks with a soft of snicker in her voice. “He’s such an idiot… Sometimes, I wonder what stupid things he’d do if we weren’t there…”

“Saving you, it seems. He realized his wounds were less deep than yours.”

“…where is he, by the way?”

“Wait, you haven’t guessed yet?”

 Leslie seems genuinely surprised, even if her astonished expression soon gets replaced with her usual amused smile and bright eyes.

“He’s behind the curtain,” she replies as she points to the item in question with the tip of her thumb.

Angie’s entire face suddenly catches on fire and her weakened condition almost makes her head go for a spin.

“Oh God… Has he woken up yet?!”

“If he wasn’t before, I don’t think he could sleep through all of this for much longer, y’know.”

 Tyler’s voice suddenly rises in the room as his hand draws the curtain open. He gets up from a chair sitting by another bed with that dumb grin of his brightly plastered on his face.

“Geez are you ladies noisy…!”

Dumbfounded, embarrassed and relieved all the same, Angie just stares in complete silence. Leslie giggles under her breath.

“But hey, at least you’ve almost awoken my patient by doing that! That guy’s been sleepin’ for the past few hours!”

Leslie and he exchange a glance, a smirk on both of their faces.

“I think we should leave the both of you alone,” she then adds. “Just be careful about your injuries, okay, Angie? You’re the more reasonable of the two on that front, so I trust you with handling them properly… If you need help, don’t hesitate ringing for a nurse!”

On that, the both of them leave, and she isn’t sure what to make of it all.

 However, Angie has always been a worrywart, she knows that very much, so she still tries getting up from bed. It’s difficult and taking her ages since her legs feel so fragile and her wounds bother her, her shoulder still feeling very much sore. She pulls through the annoyances anyway, rising to her feet while supporting himself with the wheeled IV stand by her left side, gradually making her way to the other bed in the room and sitting on the chair still left warm by Tyler’s presence. Seems like he was there for quite a long time too…

Unlike whatever movie was playing back in her head, her eyes soon lie upon a peacefully sleeping Derek, whose face is still a bit too pale to her liking. She goes as far as to making sure he is doing as fine as she’d like him to: his chest is rising and falling steadily, calmly; his breathing is stable, only needed to be helped a little by the pipe in his nose; his vitals are doing just fine on the screen next to the bed beeping regularly.

Life suddenly sounds very peaceful.

 Right as she settles into the seat, putting the pillow she’s borrowed from her bed on it, Derek stirs awake. It’s his eyelids slowly fluttering back open at first, then a little cough, and finally his vision coming to be, eyes locking into hers. He looks somewhat different without his glasses: even if she’s seen him before without them, it’s still an odd feeling to get, somewhat like an uncanny valley effect. They smile to each other.

“A-Ang…?” His voice is hoarse, which was predictable considering the extent of the trauma his body must have taken.

“That sure is me. How are you feeling?”

“I guess… not worse than when I got GUILT…?”

She’s heard something like that before, albeit differently…

 Right as she settled into the seat, her folder still clenched against her chest, Derek stirred awake. First his eyelids slowly fluttered back open, then it was a little cough escaping his mouth, and finally his vision came to be as his eyes locked into hers. He did look somewhat different without his glasses: even if she had seen him before without them, the time he had spent three days in bed sleeping coming to her mind first, it was still an odd feeling to get, somewhat like an uncanny valley effect. She smiled to him.

“A-Ang…?” His voice was hoarse, which would obviously happen considering the extent of the trauma his body had been put through.

“That sure is me… How are you feeling?

“…like trash… To say I’m putting patients through that…”

“It’s for their good. It was for yours too.”

“I suppose you’re right, Angie…”

 With relief washing all over her, she put her free hand hand on his, mindful of the IV inserted in his wrist.

“What about you never do that again? I told you that was suspicious!”

“I gotta listen to you more often… How are you…?”

He asked that before too. How are you, Angie?, when she wasn’t the one who had gotten infected by a bioweapon. That man has the most skewed priorities of them all, she swears…

“I’m doing just fine. Thank you very much for saving me, Derek. Still, if you could not die on us again, it’d be appreciated.”

He snickers. “You’re welcome…”

 Still, and even with her greatest efforts, Angie feels tears running down her cheeks and wetting something under them.

“What’s wrong…?” He asks, concern lacing his tired voice.

“I… I got so scared I’d lose you!! W-when I saw you operating on me, I… I…. I wondered why you were doing this instead of sparing your energy!”

“I’m a doctor, Angie… I save people, so I saved you. I… couldn’t just sit there and watch you bleed out, in pain…”

“But you were injured!”

“And so were you… Everything’s fine, now, right? I’m here, you’re here…”

She sniffles her sorrow back in and tries giving him a smile, rubbing the early tears away from her eyes.

“You… You’re right. Everything’s fine now.”

That grants her a smile.

“Good…”

Still holding his hand, they fall into a comfortable silence, her arms resting on his mattress.

 For now, there’s no point in looking back at the past and remembering how terrible things can get. She can, at least for a moment, let go of all of her fears and remain serene, in the safety of a haven she keeps rediscovering, by the side of her favourite person. There’s nothing quite like the calm that comes after a violent, red-tinted storm, nothing quite the reassurance that comes after getting terrified and nothing quite the sun which makes rainbow after the rain has stopped pouring down.

Truly, sometimes, life can be merciful and full of light, as long as it wants to shine…

[silverquillsideas]

Salmon and others were openly discussing rape and talking about drawing rape and there were people in the replies talking about how seeing a “rape drawing” changed the way they consumed content and shipped things (they meant that they liked the rape btw). If she hasn’t gone back to private, you can probably find those for yourself since they’re pretty recent. I thought you seemed nice but I’m really disappointed in you. Will be unfollowing and blocking.

Hello! I was debating on how (if at all) to answer this, since you seem to have already made up your mind to not hear anything further about this issue altogether.

But I do have a few things to say, regardless, because I found specific phrases you used, to be sketchy/unclear at best.

Warning tho : this is going to delve into a discussion of "rape and sexuality" from a real life perspective, since the fandom seems so bent upon drawing parallels to reality and compare fiction and irl examples. If you find that uncomfortable, block the tag "tw:rape" and scroll past.

_____

So, my first point of discussion : "Salmon and others were openly discussing rape and talking about drawing rape"

Putting aside the issue of the subject matter of the threads for a second, I'll focus on the other part : about *posting publicly*. I talked to three separate followers of the twt artist, who also happen to be my tumblr mutuals, and they basically confirmed the same thing : there was no "open discussion", in the sense, that, they did so either on Privatter (assuming you know how it works) or they did in the comment threads on their *personal twitter account*, and only those who were willing to engage in such a discussion, went ahead and joined. They did not encroach on anyone's space and invite them in forcefully.

I'm putting the screenshots of conversation I've had with one of my friends regarding this, and as you can see, none of it was *open for public viewing*

Also, here's the artist's own message that's pinned to their account :

Let me put this in perspective : suppose you're not into kpop (I picked a random example, btw) and find it weird and flamboyant, and you generally avoid it altogether. While scrolling through tumblr, you stumble upon a hardcore kpop blog, you're totally put off by the contents and you complain to your mutuals about how ABC person indulges in kpop and you found it weird and unappealing.

But my point is, there was nothing public about the said blog or account, because, by nature, every blog or account is a person's private space for expression of ideas. Yes, tumblr, twitter and other social media platforms are all *public* in the sense that they are hosted on public domains and anyone with an access to the Internet can stumble upon any website or blog listed therein. But, you, being a responsible, well discerning person, willingly stepped onto a personal blog or acc on which the owner was likely to present their own views, and started complaining about what you found there. Your statement implies, that you willingly browsed through the comment threads until the point you spotted these uncomfortable discussions and you voluntarily exposed yourself to the same.

My second point : "there were people in the replies talking about how seeing a "rape drawing" changed the way they consumed content and shipped things (they meant that they liked rape btw)"

I find it highly confusing how you generalised something as sensitive and complex as psychological behaviour on behalf of a bunch of strangers you never actually interacted with (or confirmed their views on the said matter) and proceeded to label them as "people who liked rape".

What does the statement "liking rape" mean anyway? And, does anyone who talk about or discusses rape, in the context of fanarts and fanfiction, and that too, "rape fantasy" in this case, (but I'll get to it in a moment) automatically becomes someone who likes the act? Or condones it happening in real life, to real people or situations? I'm curious as to which aspect of rape they talked about 'liking' (since your statement implies they explicitly stated so) : was it the pain, the trauma, the physical and psychological stress, or the violence and the sense of dominance over a helpless, real life person?

If you do have an answer supported by evidence, let me know, I'll modify my response gladly.

It brings me to my third point : these artists or the people who commented, were discussing, not about real life rape, but a fantasy situation in which they put two fictional characters together and made a fanart of them (the composition of the art in question is described in the conversation above).

Deriving pleasure from the actual act of rape or sexual violence is a pathological condition and needs medical or psychiatric treatment.

Deriving pleasure or indulging in paraphilic sexual fantasies, however, is not uncommon. I'll redirect you to @iamtrashforash 's post here that describes this issue more coherently. I'll also point you to articles written on PsychologyToday, based on research done on this specific topic of "Rape Fantasy" that I found, and I think everyone should have a look at them :

Article 1

Article 2

If I remember correctly, the actual comment I saw in the screenshot circulating around, regarding the controversy, went something along the lines of "I love seeing Ash's pained face in this situation", and that's what made people lose their minds. There was outrage over "How could you do that with Ash, a CSA survivor? It sends a bad message to them, it's triggering, it's disrespectful, you are disgusting, etc etc."

But, my own conversations with three people who are in real life CSA survivors, two of them who reached out to me in my DMs over the last two days, have given me a very different idea about what these people actually think regarding the art. Here's the hot take : they did not find it disturbing or offensive to themselves personally.

In fact, they pointed out, that they saw it as a fictional scenario, were well aware of the differences between the artist's intent and their potential real life behaviour (FYI, none of them drew the conclusion that either the artist or the people discussing it, "liked rape").

The fact that the comment threads were openly talking about indulging in such a fantasy is what seemed to baffle the more outspoken and outraged people, who proceeded to harass and send hate messages to the creators. But here's the fact : these fetishes have existed for as long as humanity has, and will continue to do so, regardless of whether you crucify a handful of people in a small corner of a fandom or not.

If you're familiar with the yaoi manga genre, or any adult erotica games (I can't cite any examples bc I don't have enough details, but I do know they exist), you'll find a plethora of works where all sorts of fantasy situations are presented : rape is fetishised, there's shape-shifters (vampires or otherwise), A/B/O dynamics, even bestiality. In other words, a major prevalence of themes like dominant, aggressive behaviour contrasted with helpless, passive behaviour as far as sexual situations go. And they are thriving. They have a huge pool of audience out in the world.

Whether these fetishes are "morally right or wrong" to indulge in, is not a question I have any authority to debate, because I'm not a clinical psychologist, or a behavioural scientist.

Personally speaking, I happen to be a demisexual person. Any discussion of sexual situations or scenarios outside of my own very narrow comfort zone or mental compatibility scares the shit out of me. And I find all of the above scenarios I described, as plainly unappealing and downright weird or scary. I will never, as long as I have my faculties in control, go out seeking any of them voluntarily, in either fanarts or fiction.

My point is, this is a complicated issue, I fully acknowledge that beforehand. We, as a fandom, got attached to Ash as a character, for so many different reasons. We all love him, respect him for standing up against all odds, and fighting against his fate all his life. That's the reason why the back-lash against these depictions got so violent, I think. People are more willing to see him heal, to see him make peace with his scars and move on. The general consensus with this line of thought was so ingrained in our minds, that people lashed out as soon as something "against the norms" and "potentially harmful" came to their notice.

But, the thing is, both these outcomes, are fictional. The fandom's biggest purpose is this : we weave fiction out of fiction itself. That's why we have fanarts and AUs and headcanons and a hundred other things. And different people will find different aspects of said fictional scenarios appealing. It's why we have so many ships on one hand and unfortunately, *ridiculous* ship-wars and toxic discourses on the other. But, it's okay to accept that there'll always be differences in such a wide space where everyone is coming together. It's okay to find content you don't agree with, and simply, move on.

But, I'll repeat myself : I'm not going to persecute people, who have carefully tagged, classified, and filtered their content, being mindful of the others in the fandom, and barge on their doors demanding "why they liked what they liked" and "how could they like such a thing??". Especially because it is fiction, involving fictional characters, separated from reality.

Had it been a real life discourse, involving actual people, I'd have definitely spoken out against it.

Also, to anon, if you find my views or ideas unpleasant, or find my completely sfw multifandom blog a safety hazard, then you're more than welcome to unfollow and block me. Your mental peace is all that I ask for. :)

[loucifieri]

ndrv3 HPA AU (Class ‘79) notes~

I’ve only ever been posting snippets of the their silly school life (without following a chronological timeline of events) so here’s some context of how I characterized the ndrv3 kids (essentially the same personalities but with some tweaks) and maybe some info on the relationships in my comics. Implied and outright spoilers, apparently. The rest under the cut.

NDRV3 Character design masterlist here Class 79A Character descriptions here Further characterizations here Family headcanons here Cover Art here Dorm designs here

Comic snippets so far: (most of these were from before I finalized their characterizations) Moms called out by trash child Kaito and Kokichi have “The Talk” How Kaede became the Class Rep A Lesson in Romantics Real Talk Sports Day

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/Draft/ Final characterizations here

Kaede Akamatsu: The ‘protagonist spotlight’ mostly falls on her. Personality-wise, she’ll still be the ever cheerful, charming and kind Kaede (with a toned down self-righteousness) but with a dash of her pre-game personality which is being mistrustful and to an extent, condescending. 

Angie Yonaga: Angie is still Angie, but with added eccentricities. Since she her character design kind of implies she’s from an island in the West (okay, Hawaii) which is part of America, she’s going to be referencing memes and western culture.

Kirumi Tojo: Her maid shtick is a conscious effort for her. She has selfish whims and insecurities deep down that calm, collected and altruistic persona that she tries to project. (in-game Tojo was just too one dimensional, ugh)

Tenko Chabashira: She mostly maintains her enthusiastic, down to earth, protective (of the girls) nature but she won’t be too vocal about her aversion towards the MENaces (it was so overdone in the game to the point of being annoying) and with a short temper. Will probably have a sad or comical (still can’t decide which lol) backstory about why she dislikes DEGENERATE MALES.

Himiko Yumeno: Mostly the same with her in-game personality but isn’t dismissive of human interaction. Apart from her “I’m a mage, not a magician” gag, she’s suspected to be always on drugs by most. Secretly stays up late a lot to watch k-drama.

Maki Harukawa: Still anti-social and uptight but it won’t be because of her talent (which is outright revealed to be Ultimate Assassin)… she just hates talking to people her age (lol). Also, her backstory won’t be the same in-game coz that seemed intentionally sad in context, but it’s strangely out of place in a peaceful AU like this. She’s still from an orphanage and serves as an elder sister figure. She was physically conditioned and trained to be an assassin but it turns out it was just a complicated plot to make her a Motion Capture stunt girl for an Assassin’s Creed game. So yeah, she hasn’t really killed anyone in real life but she physically (and mentally??) can, if desired.

Tsumugi Shirogane: She won’t think she’s a plain jane nor will she make an effort to remain a ‘wallflower.’ She’s into a lot of fandoms, naturally. She also stans Junko Enoshima (who isn’t a Despair junkie btw) and makes vague references about “being in a reality show,” (wink, wink)

Miu Iruma: Same ol’ Miu, but will try to make an effort to be likeable. Also has standards, so no she is not going to do lewd things with Teru Teru-sempai.

Shuichi Saihara: Since no one has to die for his character development, it’s going to take awhile for him to remove his hat. At first, he’s still meek and unconfident but not codependent on Kaede. Also adding a dash of his pre-game personality, him being an avid fanboy of all things detective (stans Kyoko Kirigiri, has a sizable collection of Nancy Drew Books and Detective Conan manga etc). Struggles with depression at times.

Kokichi Ouma: Compulsive lying is dumbed down and has his limits with his intentional assholery. His genuinely caring personality will also peek through a lot and he won’t vehemently deny it that much.

Rantaro Amami: Carefree, easygoing and fabulously gay big brother figure of the class. Makes vlogs in the style of Bear Grylls’ Man VS Wild. He also references the Danganronpa franchise plots (except V3) in his stories of his adventures.

Kaito Momota: Still quite sexist but it’s more because of upbringing rather than intentional. He doesn’t just suddenly develop an incurable, deadly disease but he has Tuberculosis (hence, coughs a lot). And, he’s very competitive (his pre-game personality repackaged).

Ryoma Hoshi: Mostly detached and stoic but not depressive and unfeeling. I’m tweaking his backstory a bit coz an ex-con that has served prison time going back to high school is a bit weird (and I don’t want the “HPA pulling shady shenanigans” shtick). His family has been murdered and all he has left is the family cat (that he gets to keep in the dorms) and he’s been pursuing leads about the mafia responsible for it. He’s basically a Sasuke Uchiha here. Anyway, he’s wise but vindictive. Fortunately, he doesn’t want to serve justice with his own hands.

Korekiyo Shinguji: Doesn’t have a sister complex and definitely not a compulsive serial killer here. He’s already got an interesting, creepy persona. Miyadera is alive, but still sickly and would visit him often to bring him home-cooked meals. Unsurprisingly has a fascination for see-saws.

Gonta Gokuhara: still the best boy best boy best boy raised in the mountains He won’t be too gullible here and would even join in roasting Kokichi.

Keebo Idabashi: He’s the Ultimate Robotics Engineer since he’s not a robot. Spent most of his life sheltered (even from the internet) so he’s shy and quite socially inept. Always gets very defensive of his talent.

And now, for the platonic and romantic ships~ I actually multiship but in this AU I’m going to stick to one ship for a particular person since I’m personally not keen on polyamory. (please don’t burn me on a stake)

Kaede||Shuichi: Saimatsu BROTP; in fact, they refer to each other by first name. I didn’t want this to be an “OTP” here since Saimatsu was mostly set up and situational in-game because of Shuichi’s codependency and Kaede’s desire to break him out of his shell, though undeniably they do have a really good chemistry together. Really, I love Saimatsu just-- let them explore their options. (I’m also just bitter I couldn’t flirt more using Kaede after Chapter 1 ;w;)

Kaede|Kirumi: I’m not inconspicuous about it actually lol idk I just see a good chemistry between them. Also, think of the mom jokes since they’re both the class moms. And while my comics tend to jump back and forth chronologically, if I was going to write a fic– their relationship is a slow burn with lots of pining

Shuichi|Kokichi: Their love hotel scene oh my god Kokichi really has it bad and that little liar is a good match for Sai, he facilitated his growth in a (twisted) way but this is an AU so yeah. Beforehand, Kokichi has a slight interest in Rantaro.

Maki|Kaito: This is a canon-ish ship that had a weird development too, but again, they have a nice chemistry too. I wanna explore that normal, potential development between them (also, I’m not sayin they’re both necessarily straight coz this is a straight ship lol).

Himiko|Tenko: There’s just… a lot of potential cuteness in them, even though they were kind of dysfunctional in canon. The fact that they’re polar opposites when it comes to physical activities gives me enough cannon fodder for their tandem. And Himiko being involved with Tenko can really help her a lot (like when the latter’s death in-game impacted her so much).

Kaito||Kokichi: Sort of a Oumota reference lol Chapter 5 gave me an inkling of their dynamics together and it was nice to see that Kaito gave Kokichi a leap of faith despite all his atrocities. So, I think they’d be good friends in the AU, just laced with a lot of badmouthing and insulting each other.

Rantaro||Tsumugi: Mastermind and Survivor solidarity~ They’re good friends in middle school before entering HPA.

Miu||Keebo: They’re both socially inept techie nerds sitting at the back of the class so finding friendship with each other isn’t far from happening. I lowkey shipped them in the game but I haven’t decided in this AU yet~

That’s all for now I guess :D I can try to make an actual comic with plot about them someday… but I can’t promise, even to myself. huhu